day 200 of asking misha to put his hands around my neck and choke me lightly

ok hear me out...vox chastity cage.

Like.....idk just teasing him for days and he can't do ANYTHING about it, he can't even get hard correctly. It starts to get obvious just in everyday tasks that he's extremely frustrated and jumps when anyone touches him at all like on the shoulder because he is ACHING for some kind of touch. All he gets is ruined orgasms and he's got his face in his hands glitching tf out because he NEEDS to be inside you SO BAD he can hardly stand it. After it's unlocked he's full subby top vox all he can do is sloppy erratic thrusts thanking you and begging you to put your hands on him everywhere. He cums so hard he just gets knocked tf out you have to push him off you mans is SPENT.

Anyway. 🫠

GOOD MORNING TUMBLR!!

waking up to subby top Vox because that’s pretty swell if I do say so myself.

So this punishment would absolutely kill him because he would be so needy to entire week, and in attempt to cover this up at work he has to play his ‘respected CEO’ part, he would just be so aggressive to everyone. Like he would loose his shit so fast.

Oh my god, and maybe you see this and tell him to keep it on tomorrow too because he’s being bad. Like imagine extending this for like an entire fucking five day work week. He’s so whiny in everyday conversation with you because he just can’t stop thinking about the moment you actually touch him again and make him feel good.

He’d absolutely beg you, already glitching out and with tears in his eyes, by the end of the week to just touch him. And so finally, you unlock it and let him climb on top of you, burrying his screen in the crook of your neck (it’s very uncomfortable for you but you’ll live) and he just pathetically ruts into you. And he’s still whining “Touch me, please” “Tell me i’m doing good” “Thank you, oh god, thank you.” Hes basically just babbling your title and sloppily thrusting into you. Finally, you put your hands on his hips to steady his pace and call him your good boy for being so patient. He’s literally already super close, and you can tell because his body starts to shake on top of you. But you keep going, telling him “My perfect boy, taking your punishment so well.” and other sweet praises.

But finally, well actually very prematurely, he cums and just collapses on top of you, softly whining while still inside you, but his system ends up just shutting off. Like he’s completely out while you clean him up.

Anyways, good morning tumblr.

Jing Yuan NSFW Oral

Jing Yuan x fem reader

Extra: Smut, nsfw, oral, praise, slight dom Jing Yuan, slight sub yuan, squirt, fingering, a bit of biting, mess, oral, eating out, and more

Authors notes: Hello I am hoping this reaches everyone because I have been struggling to get in contact with tumblr support. They weren't fixing a glitch on my account hehe. Now I am back and almost full time I think. Love you all!!

You kissed up his body, placing gentle and soft kisses on each side of Yuan’s torso. You kissed his chiseled abs, and eventually you reached his chest. You continued to kiss him, reaching up to his collarbone.

"You are so pretty." The man below you chuckled out as he looked at you, kissing and praising his body.

"I’m just so lucky to have such a man." You admit it out loud, sucking at his neck and leaving dark purple marks.

"As much as I love you praising my body, I did come back to pleasure you, not myself." You shook your head.

"You’ve been so busy being general, I think it is best you relax." He slowly chuckled and grabbed your wrist. He flipped you over, and his arms were on your waist.

"I think it is my turn, darling." You shook your head as he stared at your naked body. "Stop being a brat." He placed his knee between your legs, right at your core. You lifted yourself back, arching from his knee, touching your clit.

"Ah, don't-ah," You breathed out. He kissed your legs, going up from your ankle to your thighs. He kissed your inner thighs, leaving marks just like the ones you left, but only one thing was different: his enjoyment of biting your skin. Each time he bit you, a pleasurable gasp left your lips. He eventually placed his head between your legs, his face up close to your slick. He saw how wet you were, as your panties were covered in your slick.

"You are dripping; it made sense when you were kissing me; my leg felt wet." You raised a hand to cover your face from embarrassment. He grabbed your panties pushing them to the side to see more slick pooling out.

He got close, his mouth open with his tongue out, as he went up once. His tongue made you jerk back as he gripped your thighs and pulled you close.

"You are nothing but the most beautifully tasting creature." He placed one finger on your hood, lifting it up a bit as you cried out, moaning. He placed his mouth on your hole, licking the constant slick that coated your inner thighs and your hole.

His mouth began to work, his nose poking you, and your back was arched with pure pleasure, blinding you. He removed his finger from your hood, flicking your clit with his tongue.

"Is that good, darling?" You whimpered in pure bliss. He placed one finger in your hole as his arm was still wrapped around your thighs, keeping you close. As you thrashed, attempting to get away from the pleasure. "I know you don’t want to get away." His fingers thrust deep into you, curling each time he was in you. His mouth began to work its magic, licking up the creamy mess you had made.

His face began to get covered in your mess. His mouth wanted to taste all of you. You shook your head, feeling yourself clamp on his fingers. He chuckled, and with it, you felt the vibrations from his chuckle. He placed a second finger in you, thrusting deeply into you.

"I’m close; don’t stop." He began to eat you out faster, his tongue lapping at your juices. His fingers dug deep into you, curling as you began to feel the knot. Right when he placed his third finger in your back, you arched so far up that you used your feet to pull you up. Yuan continued to suck you dry as your juices slipped out of his mouth and onto the futon.

He let go of your thighs and pulled you to him as he pulled his cock out.

"Time for my fun."

Five Star Service

parings ✦ Eddie Munson x Reader

summary ✦ After a rough day of work you boyfriend Eddie offers you a full body massage. Contains Smut

authors note ✦ this was a request, thank you!! Hope you enjoy. Feedback and reblogs appreciated

I’ve been MIA for a week because I guess tumblr has a “glitch” that’s makes your posts not appear in tags and you can’t interact with other posts. They finally got back to me and said I should be back to normal. So hopefully y’all actually see this (:

⊹ ꙳ ✦ ⁺ ‧ ⨯. ⁺ ✦ ⊹

Munson spent everyday unapologetically worshiping you and your beautiful body. Always wondering what he did to deserve you. So when you’d talked down on yourself he would take personal offense to it, reassuring you that you were perfect the way you were. That he would love you no matter what.

This day no different, you had come home from your work exhausted and upset. You two shared a small apartment, coming home from work to Eddie was your favorite. Before you can even walk through the door he is enveloping you in a hug.

"How was your day, beautiful?" He asks head nuzzled into the crook of your neck, tightening the grip on your waist.

"It was fine," You sigh giving into his embrace, allowing yourself to fully relax for the first time today.

"Just fine?" He asks pulling away so he can see your face.

"It's better now." You try to smile in a way that would convince him to stop worrying.

"What's the matter?" He asks, your smile must of not been convincing enough.

"Just tired. I was by myself today again for the third day in a row, meaning no breaks. Just eight hours of running around miserably. My back is killing me." You groan reliving the memories of the day.

"Can I make it better?"

"How?" You ask, having a feeling where this is headed. Eddie was a firm believer that any ailment you had could be cured by his dick. Migraine? Dick. Upset Stomach? Dick.

"Let me give you a massage."

"A massage?" You ask surprised by his offer.

"Yes. I want to make you feel better." He smiles leading you to the bathroom.

"Take a quick shower, wash the day away then meet me in the bedroom for your personal Munson Massage." You waste no time getting undressed and hop in the shower.

When you walk out into your room in nothing more than a towel your greeted by a dark room. The only light coming from the various candles lit around the room.

"Lay down." He motions you to the bed where he has laid a towel and pillow to rest your head.

"Wow Eddie you really went all out." His finger reaches your lip shushing you.

"Lay down."

"Damn okay." You laugh removing your towel. Without hesitation his hands gravitate to your body. From behind he cups your breasts kissing down your neck.

"You're body is perfect." Eddie whispers between kisses. You release yourself from his grip so you can do a he said, lay down causing Eddie to pout.

"You told me to lay down. Do you want me on my stomach or my back?"

"Your stomach." He instructs and you listen rolling over so your ass if facing Eddie.

"What a beautiful sight," A few moments pass before the feeling of a freezing cold liquid hits your back. Eddie's hands rub up and down your back, stopping at your shoulders giving them a rough squeeze. This causes you to let out a soft moan. Eddie's dick twitches at the sound you let out.

"Does that feel good princess?" Eddie asks voice low and husky.

"Mhmm." Is all you can manage to say as his hands knead down your back and land on you ass. He cups your cheeks giving them a squeeze. His fingers slipping between them and toying with your cunt.

"Do all your customers get this kind of treatment?" You laugh.

"Only my favorites." He laughs back before finding your clit and lazily drawing circles around it.

"More.. I need more.." You moan and his hand leaves your slit and flips you over. Jumping on the bed between your legs, resting so his face is close your pussy.

"Such a beautiful pussy so wet just for me." Eddie grunts, his hard on growing in his pants just at the sight.

"For you." You words turn to moans because Eddie's tongue licks up your juices before finding your clit, one finger enters your pussy pumping in and out. His tongue swirls around your clit. He adds one more finger, his large fingers stretching you out for the real thing.

“Eddie… I’m going to cum.” You pant the tightness in your stomach growing warning you it’s coming.

“Cum for me princess,” Eddie speaks. His words enough to send you over the edge.

“I love watching my perfect girl cum.” He groans removing his fingers from your cunt.

“Delicious.” Eddie says licking your juices off of his fingers.

“I need you to fuck me Eddie.” You purr getting straight to the point, not wanting to wait any longer.

“Can’t keep my most loyal customer waiting.” He smiles, removing his pants letting his cock finally breathe. You’d think after years of dating you’d get used to his size, but it never ceases to amaze you. The tip lines up with your hole, slowly stretching you out.

“My perfect girl taking my cock so beautifully.” He says as he bottoms out in your pussy. His rhythm starts out slow, leaning into you kissing you. Your moans muffled by his tongue finding it’s way into your mouth fighting for dominance.

As he pulls away his speed picks up. Your nails dig into his back as he goes even faster and harder, his hair dangling in your face. Eddie sits back and picks your legs up and continues his fast motion. Somehow filling you up even more than before, causing you to moan more than you once were.

“You like that?” Eddie growled. You nod, your eyes closed enjoying this moment too much.

“Look at me when I fuck you. I need to see those beautiful eyes princess.” You open you eyes to find Eddie starting down at you.

“So fucking beautiful.” Eddie grunts still pounding into your pussy. One of hands fall to your clit roughly circling it. You hold your own legs so Eddie can focus on your clit. It doesn’t take long before you feel that familiar feeling in your stomach.

“Fuck,” you whine as you cum for a second time. Only this time on his cock. The sensation of your pussy pulsating when you cum is enough to make Eddie need to cum. He pulls out, jacks himself off onto your stomach. His white sticky liquid shoots around your navel. Eddie reaches for a rag, cleaning you off before laying next to you.

“How would you rate your service?” Eddie pants trying to catch his breath still.

“Five star.” You giggle giving him a soft sweaty kiss.

Simeon...... He's often on the backburner so i don't hear quite as many opinions on him 👁

Fuck I had written a whole two paragraphs about him before Tumblr started glitching out and deleted my shit!!! Whatever I like talking about him so

Simeon!!! He is my third favorite character overall when it comes to OM. It’s a shame so many people seem to overlook him since I really feel like he rivals Lucifer when it comes to which character is written the best in-game.

The main reason for my love of him and his character is my own experiences with being raised in a strict, religious environment and feeling constantly scared and suppressing myself as a person because of it. Whether it’s intentional or not, his character really encapsulates a person who forces themselves to be meek, subdued, and obedient because they’re afraid of the consequences if they aren’t. Honestly, one of the things that I think Nightbringer did right was to make it canon that love between angels and humans is forbidden. It adds another layer to Simeon’s character as…he’s seen what happens to angels who fall in love with a human and don’t obey Father’s rules…and now he’s stealing a precious artifact from heaven for a human he loves.

Onto fandom interpretation, people usually write him in one of two ways: an innocent and “pure” to the point that it’s almost infantilizing…or daddy dom “did you think angels couldn’t fuck? Ahaha *lip bite*” Lucifer-lite. Both of these suck. The thing with Simeon is that he WANTS people to view him as a meek and perfect angel because he’s afraid of what will happen if Father or Michael realizes how he truly feels. I feel as if a perfect example of this is in his birthday event card (I believe??) where he fakes being extremely drunk so he can be alone and himself with Mc. He’s an extremely cunning and intelligent character who falls in line, even when he doesn’t want to, because he’s scared and not as selfless as he tries to project himself as. The only reason he’s not reverting to his “good angel” persona past mid-season 2 is because, if he does, Mc will be on the line. Many people likely won’t agree with this but I feel as if his love for Mc is the main reason he’s standing up to Michael now, not his familial love for the brothers. He already feels as if he’s picked a side when it comes to Lucifer and his brothers as he didn’t join their side in the war and didn’t fall with them. Mc, though, is someone entirely different. He could’ve pretended to not know and not get involved like he did with Lucifer before the war, but he doesn’t. He steals from Michael, someone he’s deeply afraid of, to save them from making a decision that might’ve left them dead in either choice they took. Do you really think Michael would’ve let Mc go, unpunished, if they killed Lucifer?

Ok I need to stop typing this is already super long lmao.

So you just steal artwork and don't care? Got it. Either that or my ask asking about sources from your posts on April 8th disappeared. Or I guess you could be off tumblr and not have been here for two weeks.

Hi Anon,

I'm assuming this is you:

If it is, yes, I did see your last ask - but life has been a bit shit lately and frankly, I didn't have the emotional bandwidth to deal with an accusatory email that gave me absolutely no details about what you were upset about so I could investigate. So today, despite it being an incredibly long and shit one that isn't over I'm going to reply.

*Takes a deep breath* From this point forward I'm going to assume that, like me, you are just a real-live human with feelings that get hurt and not someone who just likes to yell at people on the internet. So let me apologise that I have used your artwork without attribution, it was in no way my intention. Please take this apology as someone who was just trying to amuse themselves and perhaps help some other people out by reminding them to take their meds too. I absolutely suck at art-type things so in my mind, no one would think I did them or was claiming the actual 'art' part of them as mine. I realise now this is the internet, you guys don't know me, and so I should have been clearer that nearly all of these are edits. (There are a few waaaaay back I actually drew myself). Looking at the 7th, 8th & 9th of April (allowing for time zones and assuming that's when you saw your artwork). All of them except one have a link at the bottom of the image that links back to where I sourced the original image - I don't know if this is visible on mobile so I'll show it below (the bit circled in red)

So I'm assuming this one is yours:

It seems that one doesn't have the link. I don't know why. I haven't made any new reminders for this blog in ages (again - life) - it seems like most of the ones from early April this year were originally posted back in 2021. I got briefly excited about this blog again a few months ago and loaded up a bunch of old ones so this blog was still functional for the people that find it helpful. Going back I have noticed that others seem to not have credit either. It is possible I made a mistake and forgot to add them. It's also possible that Tumblr has a had a glitch/error/weirdness which means it's disappeared. I also used a bunch of images from the editing app I was using to add the reminder message and I wish I could remember what the site was called because I cannot for the life of me remember. Honestly, who knows. I have deleted the post(s) with that image - if it's not the right one please let me know.

I have always gone out of my way to ensure that anything I use is either free use, or non-commercial under Creative Commons. As an aside, I'm an academic and a person who has artist friends and my partner runs a business where our customers are largely designers and artists, so I do actually do my best to give credit. Am I perfect - no I'm not. Part of the reason I stopped making new posts was because of difficulty giving credit even on images that were non-attribution and finding images where I knew what the attribution requirements were (along with trying to remember everything everyone asked me to tag, and doing the image descriptions etc.) If anyone else finds something of theirs in one of my posts and there isn't credit attached please either dm me or send an ask and let me know which post and how you would like to be credited and I'll add it in. If you want it removed, I'm happy to do that too.

Sorry for the long post, hope it helps to clear things up. Finally, let me take this opportunity to say

"Don't forget your meds today my friends"

So. It's getting to the end of the year... and I have feelings about this year.

On one hand, it was creative for diamond painting, a craft I discovered and love to bits. On the other hand, a so far exactly year long writers block for writing sucks. But that's what I get for doing 4 wips in a year, the year before.

I'm not proud of some things that I've said and stuff that has happened this year, but I want to keep the past in the past and look to a brighter future

I have a new years resolution of consuming more media - podcasts, audiobooks, books ect to try and help get me out of my writers block.

My aim for next year is to get 1 wip done. Just one writing wip, that's all I ask. Its a small goal. I also plan to throw myself more into TikTok and Instagram to be a Diamond Painting content creator and also keep posting it here on tumblr now that my Following page has stopped glitching and I can see all my followers posts so I can interact withya'll

My health is like a yoyo thanks to my EDS but I finally have people who believe me and want to help me, so thats a bonus. Almost 3 years no massive panic attacks, I'm so happy about that. I feel amazing

I wouldn't be here without you guys, specially shoutout to @pheita @helathorloki @insidedamienshead @radiozilla @kalu-chan @joshuaorrizonte @coolfroggyfriend @chickensarentcheap @writeblr-of-my-own @waltzshouldbewriting @wait-a-minute-lassie @writingmaidenwarrior @blackandwhitecircus @bardic-tales

and so many more.

Here's to a good 2024

If there is anything I can do for ya'll, please let me know.

Athena

Masterlist

Profile pic by @annama-art

About me: I love reading/writing and at any given moment I have too many projects circling through my head. I've loved to read for as long as I can remember and I've enjoyed writing things for that same amount of time. I also love video games and motorcycling, so if I'm not working on a wip I'm usually doing one of those two.

I'm not currently published, but I have a handful of original stuff I've been working on as well as fanfic. Some of my favorite tropes to read are found family, action/suspense, angst, horror/supernatural and slice-of-life. I tend to write very light sci-fi, action, supernatural, angst (though usually with a happy, if not bittersweet, ending) and occasionally somewhat comedic stuff. Sometimes, sometimes, I make shit get dark. I struggle with writing mystery and heavy romance, though I've been experimenting with the latter. A lot of my characters have somewhat sad backstories because apparently that's just what I do.

Tag game friendly!

I also love hearing about other people's wips so anyone is welcome to ramble in my inbox about their ocs and stories.

Side blogs: @purefandomonium: my blog for anything fandom-related. @artspace1001: for any art or photography.

Other places to find me: I currently lurk on FFN and AO3 under the username ThisPerson1.

Info about my wips below the cut.

All of my works are primarily tagged under their full titles, the fandom name if it's a fic, "creative writing," "writers on tumblr," "fanfic" and "my writing." Anything extra will be listed.

Original WIPS:

Medical Mechanical: A story about a couple of friends who set out to uncover the truth behind the mysterious mega-corporation that has infested their town and done strange things to their parents. Sci-fi, young adult, and I guess it also sort of falls under action, although nothing major really happens until much later. Additional tag(s): "mm" and "sci fi."

It's the first original thing I began posting about and also my favorite original project. I actually do have tons more than what I've posted thus far, but I got caught up in perfecting it and then sidetracked and kind of just stopped talking about it.

The Set Up: A sort of enemies-to-lovers* story involving two old acquaintances meeting years later and being reminded of how much they piss each other off. After they end up stuck together on a camping trip that was nothing more than a mischievous plan by their respective friends, they're forced to deal with each other until the trip ends. (Very light) Romance*, slice-of-life, humor/comedy, and angst—mostly due to their past trauma.

It's the second original project I'm working on, although this one has taken a backseat to my other works because I'm still going through the process of reformulating it. I thought I had it figured out, and was originally going to have it take place in college and be a forced-by-friends camping trip gone wrong, but I just wasn't feeling it. I don't know, but the way it was coming along just... didn't feel right. So I decided to essentially start over rather than force myself through something I wasn't enjoying and that wasn't getting anywhere. The main theme is that the two MCs initially can't stand each other and butt heads, however, they eventually learn more about themselves and each other and start making amends.

*I'm also at a point where I don't think I'm going to keep it as romance, but instead have their relationship be platonic. We'll see.

Connection: Pokepasta/Glitchy Red fic about a girl who manages to befriend the embittered glitch. In other words, hermit high-schooler gets ahold of the titular Red cart and gets a new friend, and local depressed kids' game may not think life is so miserable anymore. Sci-fi/supernatural (because my version of Red is somehow both just a bunch of code and some digitalized cryptid entity,) very mild angst in the form of bullying, and found family/friendship. Additional tag(s): "glitchy red" and "pokepasta".

Fanfic:

I got the brainrot and just wanted something to write with no worries. I write a chapter and as long as it holds up the story it gets published. That's it. I'm taking a break from serious writing/editing with this one. I've already let it get too out of hand as is. It was supposed to be a two-parter. Now look at it.

Mysterious New Member: Fic about the BF5 gaining a new member under mysterious circumstances. Due to the secrets she seems to be hiding, and the rising tensions of the war, Vert and the others find themselves on edge and at odds over what to do. Takes place during Fused. Sci-fi, action/adventure, humor. Additional tag(s): "bf5," and "hot wheels battle force 5."

Fun fact: This is a fic I started when I was like 13. I recently began rewriting it because now I am not 13 and I was rereading it one day and went, "The fuck did I write it like this for???" So began my tedious work of redoing the whole thing. The original is actually still up on FFN under the exact same name, for the new one I only added rewrite to the title 😅 I'm not mad at myself for the way it came out or anything, as I was literally a kid, but I can safely say my writing has improved immensely and I just couldn't fight the urge revamp it. I'm quite proud of how this new one is coming along, being both an improvement of my original version and also a slightly daker and more interesting take on BF5. I'm actually close to done, I'd say about 75-ish percent. I really just have two more major plot points to go through and the rest is just tying up loose ends as I go along. That said, if you'd like to check out the abandoned original, feel free. Just be prepared for a bit of whiplash when comparing the two.

It's The Thought That Counts: Dead Plate AU fic I started on a whim and, like a lot of things, it got out of hand and became a fun little side project. Rody isn't hopelessly pining after Manon, who's still alive but not relevant to the story, and Vincent isn't a psycho cannibal killer. Essentially gay panic meets bi-denial, Rody attempts to impress Vincent by learning how to bake lemon-themed desserts after he discovers it's the only thing that gives him any semblance of taste. After a shaky start, Vince decides to start giving Rody lessons and they eventually come to terms with their feelings. Romance, humor, angst, slice-of-life.

I've actually never written proper romance before this and am absolutely shocked that it's coming along as well as it is. It's the most fluff I've ever written. For whatever reason, these two dorks are super easy for me to write. I also recommend checking out the game, it's super fun.

There is so much more, but I'm going to stop for now.

If it wasn't already obvious, writing is my biggest passion and I hope to keep improving and expanding what I do. I'm also always open to advice and constructive criticism, and I hope to inspire and help others with their writing. Also, if you write anything with the tropes or genres that I listed, don't hesitate to tag me and I'll check them out! I really enjoy reading other people's works.

So yeah, that's me. If you made it this far, thank you for checking out my blog (and my long ass intro post) and I hope you'll stick around and see what I have to offer. Be on the lookout for more and more to come!

Ahaha. Due to some weird glitch, anonymous asks didn't automatically activate when I opened my inbox (which it usually does so what happened Tumblr?). Apologies for that. But the issue should be resolved now.

As requested, I have only taken the most important part of their recent message as reference for this post.

Hello it's 🖤 anon. For the ask game can you answer 9,23,24

And here are the answers to your questions 🖤 anon~!

..........

9) with characters i love

Ooooooh! Hee hee hee~! I've said it before but I do love all the Silva siblings. They get hated on so much but I adore how messy all of them are. And one fic that involves them is the Silva reconciliation fic I wrote.

“You redirected a spell that large?!” Noelle exclaimed as she leaned forward in her seat. “Don’t pretend to sound impressed!” Solid snapped back. “I bet you think you could’ve stopped it altogether!” “I’m not pretending though!” Noelle said, a bit more forcefully than she meant to. “Just take a compliment, why don’t you?” Solid made a “ngh” sound and his face started to burn red. “What you said was hardly a compliment! Besides, how do I know that you’re not just mocking me, huh?” “Oh how pathetic that’d be,” Nebra muttered behind her hand. She leaned in Noelle’s direction. “Though if you want pointers on how to get on Solid’s nerves, I can share.” She winked at her sister. “Yeah, no thanks.” Noelle hid a mildly disgusted look behind a sip of tea. And here I thought Nebra and Solid were as close as can be. Guess they’ll even turn on each other if it amuses them. Her heart felt heavy at that idea. She’d always felt like she alone was pushed away and knocked down. But the cruel, cutthroat nature of House Silva could target her siblings too it seemed. It really had been for the best that Noelle never fit into that environment, that she wound up in the Black Bulls and became who she was in the present. Had she been a fool for ever wanting to fit in with her family? Noelle lowered her cup. No. She wasn’t a fool for wanting to be close to her family. Rather, she was short-sighted for wanting to fit into a dynamic that tore down the weak instead of encouraging growing into the strength. Noelle glanced to her side to Nebra and in front of her to Solid. Their presence carried with them painful memories but… There was also a relief in knowing that they were okay after all was said and done.

This snippet leaves out Nozel but 3/4 ain't bad. I just love how Noelle, Solid, and Nebra kind of struggle to interact with one another. Nebra is the most at ease but she's being a bit of a bully to Solid and thinking Noelle would want to irritate him similarly, which is her still not really connecting with Noelle on her level.

They are a messy family. A very broken family. But I won't ever let go of the idea that they can find some way to reconnect with each other.

23) that was inspired by a work from another medium (music, visual art, dance, etc.)

This snippet here is from a very short fic where I imagined Nacht denying after the battle in Spade and reuniting with Morgen in the afterlife. It was inspired by a scene from the series Demon Slayer where siblings Daki and Gyuutarou have a moment declaring their love and loyalty to each other as siblings before descending into Hell for their sins.

In the void between life and death, there was no way to tell how long the embrace had lasted. The brothers eventually parted. Morgen wiped away the last of his tears. Nacht looked down at his feet. “Have you been waiting here this whole time?” “Yes. I couldn’t bring myself to move on without making sure you’d be alright.” “I’m sorry I let you down.” Morgen placed a hand on Nacht’s shoulder and Nacht looked up to meet his eyes. “You fought to protect Clover and the other countries. You used the power of devils for good. I couldn’t be more proud.” His smile turned sad. “My only regret is that you didn’t live any longer. But at least we’re reunited.” “Not for long.” Nacht squeezed his eyes shut to keep himself from crying. “You’re probably going to heaven now and I…” “You’ve worked for repentance,” Morgen assured. “And if heaven still doesn’t take you, I’ll gladly go to hell with you. We’re family, no matter what.” Nacht gave a bitter smile. He removed Morgen’s hand from his shoulder but kept it in his grip. “If you’re really okay with that…”

SIBLING LOYALTY! FAUST BROTHER REUNION (in a way that's different from canon)! AAAHHHHHHH!

24) that makes me go "huh...i wrote that?!"

This is less of a "huh?! I wrote something this incredible?!" shock at my own work and more of a "huh?! I wrote something that's kinda pretty horny?!" embarrassing shock. Like, akhsgaiurh! It's the closest I'll ever come to write, you know, smut and it's lowkey embarrassing for me to look back on. I of course love what I wrote, but I'm shocked by it still! I wrote this?!

Josele said nothing, instead moving in to kiss Morgen which he happily accepted. And this kiss, it felt like something more. More strength and heat. Morgen was sure that his whole body was shaking as he dared to press further. He let go of Josele’s hand but only to caress her face, to hold and reassure her. Josele parted her lips and let him deepen the kiss. It felt clumsy, messy even, but he could not hold back any of his fervor. And neither could Josele by the feel of her hands balling up around the fabric of his tunic. Want. Yearning. Desire. Whatever it was called, Morgen gave into it. The warm affection he felt increased, bordering on a burning passion. He leaned in closer, pressed more firmly. Caught up in the moment, Morgen ended up pushing Josele down onto the couch. Or perhaps Josele had pulled Morgen on top of her. Either way, Morgen now hovered over Josele on the couch. Their kiss broke, eyes locking in that breath, only for them to go in for another. Josele’s hands moved up to Morgen’s shoulders before her arms loosely wrapped around his neck. She undid the tie in his hair and tangled her hands in his locks. The sensation, her fingers combing through his hair and leaving a ghost of her touch, sent a shiver down Morgen’s spine. Morgen enjoyed moments of simple intimacy, ones that were innocent and tentative. That was for certain. But this raw yet divine passion… He hadn’t realized how much he craved it. Please, let me have all of you, Josele, he thought, hoping the heat of his lips on hers conveyed the words. Let me give all of myself to you.

AAAAAAHHHHHH! I don't know how my brain came up with this kind of steamy content! But I did!

December Game Dev Progress

Hey everyone, I hope you had an awesome December and a great new years!

This month I've been feeling kinda bleh, with that and it being the holidays I've tried to take things a bit slower.

Game Features

Camera Rework

Changed how the camera works, took out the smooth zoom and made the Camera only exist at rounded x/y value of the Player. This fixed the weird scaling issues when zooming where you'd see things being 1 pixel wider or taller than they should be and the sprite wobble glitch when you stop moving.

Snow Rework

Changed how Snow and Wet Sand are generated and stored when Culled

I'm now storing them in a ds_map and a ds_list, so I can check a ds_map cell to see if there isn't snow there already for creation, and use the ds_list for quick searching for an existing one to destroy when removing them. Very important to remove BOTH entries when I remove one!

I'm also now checking against the AI collision map that Goblins and Animals use to see if they can move into an area. This saves me making a another whole check list of things, but since Grass isn't in the AI collision map, I've just made it so Snow can spawn under it for consistency.

I'm going to have to do something about how much Snow can exist at once though, since it's eating into the frame rate. Figuring out how to merge them into one object might work, or drawing them all at once with depth sorting maybe?

HMM! Reworked Weather to be localised?

This will save me loads of frames by not covering the whole island in snow. If necessary I can have multiple spots, and maybe even have them move? I guess the trick now is figuring out how to make it less square, I do have them set up for random width/height. I can probably use the shape system from the world gen that makes the rocks and trees etc, so it'll use the square but only place snow if it's in the circle of the square. This wont work with random sizes though, I'll have to have the shape in an array for each width/height variety so that's no good really.

What about having it move?

I like this but I think I need a cloud, seems weird just appearing out of nowhere?

Not quite a cloud but it'll do for now as proof of concept

Reworked the shape/size and changed the angle of Rain!

Also reworked how Snow and Wet Sand despawn, they now have life which decreases based on correct weather, their distance to weather cloud and the season! So for example, Snow melts faster in Summer!

Rain now waters Crops and Plant Pots in a specific area!

Slight issue with the Wet Sand despawning here, forgot the divide the coords by 16 to get the ds_map cell position!

Saving/Loading

Got Snow saved!

Also Weather and Time are now saving!

Update! New Weather system saves! :D

Slight graphical glitch there, I was had the code the sets up the Particle system being loaded AFTER the system was started :S FIXED!

Item Gifting

I reused the Players Inventory screen and also updated the Chatting system to get this working right. Goblins will have likes and dislikes but for now their response is random.

I'm going to add emotes to the portrait and a heart meter to the UI box, like with Pets!

Like so! I actually just used the exact same UI, just moved some things around and added a condition to get menu options based on if NPC or Pet. :D

New Things!

(no more images because tumblr wont let me, check out the same post on Patreon for the full thing: https://www.patreon.com/posts/75431590 )

Lemon Trees

Along with Lemons from the trees, you can also make Lemonade! I was working on a better tree design, but here's bigger Lemons in the meantime!

Free Cam

No idea what this will be used for, maybe just cutscenes? But it's set up now!

There was a some more stuff I was working on but got distracted trying to track down a bug where something was trying to access outside a grid. Never found what :| Also fixed a bunch of problems I made for myself with the Minimap where it wasn't updating properly. Turns out I'd changed the surface cleanup code from surf = -1; surface_free(surf); to surface_free(surf); surf = -1;

while the second version makes logical sense, seems it doesn't work that way.

I hope the new year is treating you all well. Thank you so much for your support and help this past year it's really meant a lot to me and helped me so very much to keep going.

Keep being awesome everyone! <3 <3 <3

why do you draw dark willow like that

tbh i could give a snarky answer but i’ve had my lunch and a painkiller so im in a good mood rn

for me a big thing with character design that i love is trying to reflect the characters personality and attitude in the design and … i think i gotta take a moment to talk about valve’s issues with character writing in dota, specifically with poor little mireska sunbreeze

an addendum i also believe that anyone’s read of the character is perfectly fine and valid, this is just mine and i get that it’s extremely different to the Oversight one that’s more popular

tl;dr: i see her as a dangerous, evil character and draw her more sharp to reflect that

mireska in particular really suffers from her canon design. i dont think it’s bad mind you, i actually like it a lot, but i will say the first time i saw the character my response was “ugh of course, waifu porn bait, not surprised.” then i read her lore and i was SHOCKED because the character presented in the lore just didn’t line up with the visuals. now granted, the character in game is very “haha mischievous little fairy” but thats where i want to bring up the inconsistencies.

im firm in my stance that snapfire is the most interesting and well written character in dota, but i seriously believe that spot could have been mireska if they just commit to what was set up with her.

this is her lore piece in game and there’s key words here: spiteful, contempt, manipulation, cutthroat. along with the note that she was GOOD at dealing with this stuff. she fit in with it and even says herself if it wasn’t for her father she’d have stayed in revtel

it’s pretty evident here. mireska is an absolute piece of shit made worse by the fact that this is very clearly an active choice she’s making and has zero intention to change if these lines are anything to go by.

(tumblr is glitching so im praying it chose the right photos)

it doesn’t really come across when you load her into the game. it’s just, cheeky waifu at best. she doesn’t seem all too effected by what she’s supposedly been through. granted that’s the standard of dota writing, but thats what i’m getting at. the lore sets up one character but then the game presents you with another very watered down one note version of them.

so the mireska i draw comes from the character presented in the lore. a rebellious asshole who was fucked up enough to burn her families estate down to the ground AS A CHILD and steal a family heirloom purely to rub salt in the wound of her father, clearly there was some messed up dynamic there but the game wont really elaborate further outside of “overbearing”. i often find myself thinking it would have been great if they let her acknowledge this in game, especially since it’s evident some years have passed since the fire, you don’t become wanted in 6 nations with a nasty reputation and armies worth of assassins and bounty hunters after you in just a couple of weeks.

does she feel any guilt for what she did? has she realised that she’s set herself down a spiral of self destruction but she could stop it at any point as dontè implies? does she know this but trying to change and be better is basically admitting that she’s in the wrong which she would rather tear her own wings off than admit that?

i don’t know if im crazy for having this read of her, or looking too hard into a game that regularly gets memed on for not having any lore, but personally these themes of holding yourself accountable that hang on the back of her character are fascinating and resonate a lot with me. and i guess that’s why i draw her the way i do. i see her as this rough, conflicted character who’ll shank you first, rob you blind and not bother to ask questions. someone with a bitter past that she’d rather leave behind and be the worst version of herself purely to spite whatever expectations were put on her in childhood (given her father was a merchant king and the way she talks about him, there was clearly SOMETHING)

so i use a lot of sharp shapes, hard edges typical of a roguish dangerous character. dark outlines, fangs and claws to exaggerate that she’s a monster and a clear threat. she’s thin and gangly like a bramble stick you’d find walking in the woods in the dead of night, with cat eyes that gleam in the darkness like a predator watching.

i could talk about why i read a very queer interpretation of her too but i think i rambled enough as it is and this is gonna get posted to reddit where gamers will laugh at me and send anon hate to this blog but what can you do, such is life im afraid.

Hey! I’m back on tumblr after not even posting for idk how long but I saw these spidersona trends so I wanted to make a few myself

I’m still improving my drawings so I made a sketch and then made a crappy coloring of the sketch digitally

Meet: Love spider, Spiderai (basically spider and samurai in one word), Slayderman, Spidershroom.

“Alright let’s do this one last time”

Love Spider:

“My name is Miyu Matsuo. I accidentally ate a radioactive spider and for the last 5 years I’ve been the one and only Spider-Woman. I think you know the rest! I saved people from a burning shrine, saved more people, I ran into a tree and fall through ceilings 😁😁!! I love to give advice about relationships and I’m really good at making people smile! 😄”

Spiderai:

“My name is Pika Pekin. I was bit by a radioactive spider and for the last 6 years I’ve been the one and only Spider Samurai…Im pretty sure you know the rest. I save people, kill demons, killed my uncle, and I managed to “kill” my Deadpool, but gods know where he is right now, he probably regenerated and ran off somewhere. And no, just because I wield swords doesn’t not make me the equivalent of Deadpool, please stop saying “what are you, deadpool?” Seriously stop.”

Slayderman:

“My name is Patrisha Parker! I was bit by a radioactive spider and I’ve been the only Spider-Man in my world! I slay villains and slayed a sexist goblin 💅💅basically I slay everyday 🤪. I am also a fashionista, I am a model! I am basically the official protector of my girlie pop friendsies, and I make sure no one discriminates 😡. ”

Spidershroom:

“My name is Pe73& P4rk37. 🤖I was bit by a radioactive spider mushroom and I’ve been the only Spidershroom entity. 🤖I help get rid of entities that are threats and help lost ones in the back rooms 🤖is this edible? 🤖 *it points at an axe spray bottle* “ (OH SHOOT I JUST ACCIDENTLY TAGGED A RANDOM ACCOUNT, PLEASE IGNORE THIS THING WHOEVER I JUST TAGGED RANDOMLY)

Basically all of them are friends and they met each other from a multiverse glitch or smth and they joined the spider society so they can see each other again! Also Spidershroom is not male or female so call it whatever pronouns you want to call it. It also doesn’t know the concept of food or not food. Spidershroom can collapse like building blocks too and it can’t rebuild itself so someone’s gonna have to figure out how to rebuild Spidershroom.

Im not funny, im sorry

what do you use for journaling?

answering this from my phone which means it's probably gonna fuck up especially as i am now realising how much i want to say. as always

what i USE rn is an app called iA Writer, but technically i don't really use it/its features for journaling so much as just a .txt file organiser. the actual files are synced in a google drive folder, so i could also just open them in any notes app and start writing, but ia writer lets me see all my files at a glance (i make a new .txt file for each month, start each new entry with a big "NEW ENTRY MONDAY 9 JANUARY") and looks nice enough and recognises markdown syntax for basic formatting. i think it's a paid app but i really don't remember.

i used to use Day One (of deeply weird recent tumblr ad fame) when i was 17 or so, which helped me get started because it 1) had daily prompts and 2) had a header image input which made me feel better about just taking one photo each day and counting that as an "entry" without sitting down to write. that was also the big shift i needed to actually become a regular journaler (journalist? diarist.): i was always given cute notebooks as a kid, and even now you can open up tens of them that just have "IM SO TIIIIIIIRED" over the first page followed by reams of blanks. meanwhile i learnt to type 100wpm on msn messenger when i was 11 or whatever, but it somehow didn't click until glossy apps started dropping that i could just type journal entries and even though it wasn't the pen to paper aesthetic fantasy people usually think of, it does what i need it to (and better than paper). all journaling really is (for my purposes! there's a lot of reasons to journal, i guess) is a form of externalising thought processes and emotion to cut down on rumination, pause before impulsive actions, improve my memory and get to know myself better, so the closer i can make that activity frictionless the better — and i already spend all dang day typing anyway, so it's easy.

on that note, i also have a solo discord server i use to keep links and notes to myself, and i've got a channel in there for journaling, because ia writer on my phone WORKS but sometimes the sync overlaps and glitches, and it's just faster to dump quick thoughts into discord, especially if i'm literally just panicking at a party and want to write down something someone said to me so i can remember later.

there is an opposite mode of thinking, which is that journaling/externalising should be very distinct, and separate, and analogue, and physical, etc, to the extent that the frictive challenges of handwriting and paper and sitting at a desk rather than texting at a party etc is the point and helps with recall and the whole process of it all, but, god. i just can't do that at all. i go walking in nature each morning to ground myself in all that and i tumble out every thought and stressor and hypothetical i can wring dry from my mind into a .txt file for 5 minutes (that can turn into an hour) before i sleep each night so that i CAN sleep. but if i forget or im too busy i don't beat myself up about missing it. i stopped journaling for like 3 years then just started up again one day. i skip months sometimes. sometimes my entries are still just "TIRED". but it being a folder of text files helps me know i can start again whenever, and that if i ever want to go check something i can do it easily.

sorry this is insanely long; i've not journaled properly for weeks and it shows 😭

Here is me expressing to you my love for Saints and Liars (although not all of it because again space and time, but I hope I can express my love for this story effectively through words and virtually but hopefully one day in person it is super special to me and I hope you can feel that in this). Oh and spoilers of course. (Also I’m hoping part 1 of this went through it said it was received but then tumblr glitched so fingers crossed but if it didn’t please let me know I will resend it)

Saints and Liars: Dare I say this is my favorite story out of all your anthologies (so far at least)? I really think it is. Honestly I think I enjoyed this as much as I do your full length novels. THIS STORY IS PERFECTION. Cecily and Porter are EVERYTHING to me I’m actually obsessed with them and they altered my brain chemistry. Thank you for them.

Please enjoy a direct quote from my notes app the second I read the summary: “A WITCH GETS TRAPPED WITH THE MAN SHE’S PRETENDING TO DATE I’M ALREADY OBSESSED BASED OFF ONE SENTENCE IN THE SUMMARY I’M A HOE FOR FAKE DATING”. Also them being from a Midwestern town? Love. (okay so technically I am not from the Midwest because I am from good old and weird Pennsylvania and I’m sure if you asked a Midwestener they would probably say no and that’s fine. PA is a weird state we don’t have a geographical home other than the mid-atlantic because we also are not considered the east coast since we don’t touch the coast but clearly if you are from Philly you’re practically an East Coaster like Jersey is right there? These questions have haunted me all my life so I am very sorry for the side rant I will get back on track now. However, I am from the very western side of the state and I grew up like an hour or less from Ohio so I personally feel like some of the midwest culture/values exists in my town, so it was cool to see it!). I wanted to put this one on its own since it’s longer plus it’s not as organized as the others but I apologize for annoying you with all the many asks this time.

I don’t know what to title this section of this part of this so I’m just going to say extremely relatable content that I feel like you went into my brain and just took out of me:

“I do feel sad,” she mumbled in concession, glancing at anything else but his face. “And guilty, too. I’ve been gone for so long. I guess I just always thought time stopped around here, but obviously it doesn’t. I don’t know.” She eyed her hands. “I feel selfish for being upset but it’s hard.” “You’re allowed to have some sort of conflict about it,” Porter said,”

"And maybe," Porter continued, "you shouldn't bother feeling guilty. You're here now," he pointed out. "Why waste this time with her worrying about the things you could have done? Just...I don't know." He shrugged. "Be here. You know?"

“Porter cut her off, taking her face in both hands and giving her a long, searching look. “Don’t feel sad about time lost,” he said to her. “Just don’t waste a moment.”

Cecily and her grandmother’s relationship reminded me a little of my own in a sense. These three quotes were really relatable to me because I have also felt the same guilt she had about needing to leave the little town she grew up in. For me, I always wanted to leave for college and go out of state for myself, and I did and it was one of the best experiences I could have had for myself. But, at the same time my grandmother’s health was declining and she needed full time help since I was in about 5th grade or so? Growing up I used to be one of the people that were responsible for her on certain weekdays and weekends occasionally so I felt guilty for leaving in that sense. While I was at college it continued to worsen to the point where she needed help with all activities of daily living and every Christmas we all would be told “well this is probably Grandma’s last Christmas” (she lived way longer than the doctors thought she would and lived a full life, I can’t say her last years on the Earth were her truly living anymore but she was 96 and was surrounded by love and a true matriarch anyway side rant over again). With her being one of my favorite people, leaving each time for school knowing there was a huge chance she wouldn’t be there the next time was hard and I felt guilty that I wanted to be away from that place. So it became a big struggle sometimes and I don’t think I’ve really seen something like this expressed in words before but reading these quotes I was like wow YES THAT WAS WHAT I WAS FEELING.

Then the whole second part of just being here now and don’t feel sad about time lost and not wasting a moment was also how I dealt with being back in my town and getting to see her more often. I took every opportunity I could to go back up and say hi and make goofy faces at her to get her to smile and be a full time caretaker when they needed someone to fill in. Although sometimes I was a banker and not her granddaughter during the last 6-8 months of her life when I could be around her still felt meaningful to me and I’m glad that I could just be there with her without thinking about all the times I wasn’t. Anyway I am like tearing up writing that all but it felt cathartic. Also sorry sometimes I feel like we are friends so I just share my life.

Anyway, just yeah thank you for putting words to some emotions I felt.

Okay so some of my favorite moments that are way less heavy: From the second this man asked her to prom and she thought it was an obligation I was already screaming that IT’S NOT HE IS CLEARLY IN LOVE WITH YOU and I screamed when the idiot didn’t tell her that he would miss her. Evelyn cracked me up the entire book, her lines were 10/10, she is so funny. I love Porter, but the second he came up with his “plan” for revenge I literally wrote down “okay buddy sure, good luck with that you are clearly just going to fall back in love with her”. Porter is so smooth and has game truly I’m in love with him (he became one of my biggest book boyfriends bless you for him). Elenaor telling Porter to call her “Grandma Eleanor” ughhh I love it. His pretend poetry! Cecily just smiling at herself watching him work in the kitchen. HIS ENTIRE BODY ANGLING TO HER WHILE SHE TALKS AND BEING HIS ONLY PRIORITY AHHHH. THE WHOLE SCENES WITH THE STORM AND THE CAR ACCIDENT WITH HER IN A RED DRESS AND THE FORCED PROXIMITY AHHH SO GOOD (I’m literally screaming again just thinking about it). THE WHOLE SCENE OF THEM IN THE LIBRARY DRINKING ABSINTHE TOGETHER ON THE FLOOR AND EYES EACH OTHER UP WITH THE FLICKERING CANDLES UGH I WANT A FAN ART OF IT SO BAD (one day I will commission it that’s a promise) I’M OBSESSED. Him hating her boyfriend for no reason, ugh one of my favorite things. THEN THEY WENT TO THE GYM WHERE PROM WAS AND DANCE TOGETHER and him resting his chin on the top of her head and her resting her cheek on his chest while they are dancing (dance scenes are my kryptonite you literally do not understand how much I loved this scene I will also one day commission a fan art of this scene too). How he tucked her in his jacket!!! THE MOST IMPOSSIBLE MAN SHE’D EVER MET. Him remembering what desk she sat in during physics this many years later ughhh my man was down (and is down) so bad. THE WHOLE SCENE OF HIM TELLING HER TO BREAK UP WITH HER BOYFRIEND BECAUSE HE KNOWS SHE WANTS TO BE WITH HIM UGHHHH. Another direct fun quote from around this time in my notes: “PORTER IS SO FUCKING HOT I CANNOT I’M IN LOVE WITH HIM CECILY PLEASE JUMP HIS BONES “ I know it doesn’t really have to do with her but the fact that she was like “see you in physics I guess” which traumatized him and then him becoming a physics teacher was great (plus they did see each other and have sex in the physics classroom so full circle moment). “What do you want?” “You, Porter”. Him now knowing he can’t win unless she’s happy and trying to make long distance work ugh loved. He doesn’t want it to be pretend he wants it to be real and so does she ahhh. Forehead kisses and promises!!! Her grandma not being sick and just wanting her home because she was bored was so funny hahahah I did not expect that and I love it and her so much. His internal monologue stop “don’t go and please, if you do, take me with you” SO GOOD. SHE CAME TO SAY GOODBYE THIS TIME UGH. The frequent flyer miles!!! THE ENDING WITH HIM ASKING HER TO PROM AND HER SAYING YES THIS TIME (IN A RED DRESS NO LESS) UGH WHAT A FULL CIRCLE MOMENT I LOVE THEM SO MUCH YOUR HONOR LIKE SO MUCH

They had me literally kicking and screaming and giggling I love them so fucking much. They make me insane for real. I went on a deep dive and found Chmura’s three arts from this story and I DIED. They (her drawings and CecilyPorter) are BEAUTIFUL.

If you or anyone in your family ever needs an organ or anything I will happily give you one in exchange for a sentence more of CecilyPorter, I am desperate for more crumbs. Also so random but I am planning to take a picture with this story in a red dress with some (possible) absinthe-all depends if I can find a small bottle if not we shall pretend. I’m hoping to look hot in this (however, I am not a hot person so we will see if I can fake it for some pictures). Either way though I’m treating it as my birthday dress up as well as a way to celebrate this story. I’m planning to post it on my shared booksta as bday post (I’ll be 25 which seems crazy but I also have spent my whole life desperately wanting to be 30 so I am finally getting closer) so I will be sure to tag you of course to see the final product haha.

(Also cue me patiently waiting for Neelam’s fake dating book so I can scream about it because you write it so well)

Some quotes I enjoyed/reactions to them (there are a lot I really tried to narrow this down I promise):

“I have a boyfriend," she said again. "His name is Ansel. He's an artist." "That's great," Porter replied lazily. "What kind of art does he do?” "Murals, mostly. Street art." "Ah.” “Ah?" she echoed, turning sharply to him. "What's that supposed to mean?" "It's just a sound, Cecily," Porter said. "It typically indicates acknowledgement." "Oh, stop," she grumbled, rolling her eyes. "You totally did it with a...a thing." "A thing?" "Yes, you did a thing, you had an...inflection-" "Do you want me to have an inflection?" She glared at him, watching his mouth quirk with suppressed laughter.” KICKING SCREAMING OH MY GOD THE “DO YOU WANT ME TO HAVE AN INFLECTION” AHHH AND HIM BEING JEALOUS LOWKEY STOP AHHH

“You're okay, We’re okay.” His fingers had laced tightly with hers. HE WAS SO CONCERNED WITH HER AFTER AND THE “WE’RE OKAY” AND HOLDING HANDS AHHH I LOST IT FOR REAL

“Like my mother always says: if she can’t make time fun, she can at least make it hard to remember” LOL

“In answer, Porter merely slid the bottle from her hand, taking another deliberate sip, and she, to her dismay, couldn't not watch him. (Blame the absinthe, she thought, for whatever she'd say next.) "What if you'd gotten out?" came courtesy of lowered inhibitions, and Porter let his eyes slide pointedly to hers. "What if you'd stayed?" he countered, and she swallowed. They sat in silence for a moment or so, her heart thudding and her mind racing, and then gradually, an actionable thought occurred to her.” OH MY GOD OH MY OH MY GOD I’M SCREAMING AHHH

”She matters to you” “Not just recently. Always.” “Everyone has a light and yours is brighter around Cecily.”...“Cecily makes everyone’s light brighter.” GRANDMA ELENAOR KNOWS THAT HE HAS BEEN IN LOVE WITH HER HIS WHOLE LIFE

“A job is not a life, Cecily” amen Grandma Eleanor

“Cecily nodded, sobering a little at the reminder. "I'm sorry to disappoint you," she began, but her grandmother cut her off with a shake of her head. "Go see the world, Cecily. Your happiness is all you owe me. I only ask that you remember where your heart is,” she said, reaching for Cecily's hand. "So long as you follow where it leads, my dear, you can never disappoint me." Cecily laced her fingers with Eleanor's, holding her grandmother's hand.” this quote makes me miss my grandma

“I just think you should know you’re not alone, that’s all. And don’t worry about your mom. She loves you; she wants you to be happy.” He swallowed carefully, adding, “And just because your version of happy and her version don't look the same doesn’t mean you need to feel guilty about it.” VERY TRUE

“Unhelpfully, Porter recalled at that moment how Cecily’s kiss had tasted like every happy memory he’d ever experienced all compiled into one, limitless moment. She had been the warmth of familiar autumn spices and the heat of July all at once. She had been bright and crisp and tender and soft and he had been trying for days to forget, even for a moment, that nothing had ever passed his lips with such unshakeable perfection as the breath he’d taken from that kiss with Cecily Ayers, who was now looking at him as if she were seeing him clearly for the first time.” WHO GAVE YOU PERMISSION TO WRITE LIKE THIS. LIKE IT’S SO BEAUTIFUL.

“It was only when she felt the comfort of knowing they were twined together at every possible axis of contact that she realized he'd been trying to pull her close, to keep her there, his lips finding her ear to say with painful gravity, "I missed you." She shivered, burying her face in the crook of his neck and breathing him in. She may not have missed him before, but oh, she thought with sudden anguish oh, she would miss him now. "Stay with me," she whispered, and felt his solemn nod before he drew her lips to his again, kissing her to mindless oblivion.” ughhhh my loves

“Cecily felt drunker than she had on Maggie Callahan's absinthe for the entirety of breakfast. Porter had taken every opportunity he could to touch her-hands on her waist while she sliced some fruit, a wink while he flipped the pancakes, lips against her shoulder while she charmed the dishes clean, fingers floating up her spine as he handed her a plate-and all of it was positively intoxicating, equal parts excitement and joy.” domestic cecilyporter are adorable!!!

“This was it, wasn't it? This was what had been missing with Ansel, with every other person who'd never managed to fit into all the little spare parts of her life. They had all been the wrong shape, too saturated one way or another to blend with everything she was. There was something about Porter, some shade of him that seemed to complement every little hue of hers. He felt like home, and for the first time, that seemed boundless instead of limiting. For the first time since her father had passed away, Cecily found a place she belonged in Saint Sturm, and not even her mother’s exuberance could ruin it.” THIS QUOTE OH MY GOD HIM BEING THE RIGHT SHAPE AND SHADE AND HUE AND HIM FEELING LIKE HOME AND THAT WAS BOUNDLESS AND SHE FELT LIKE SHE BELONGED UGHHH I LOVE LOVE LOVE

“Miriam’s not here, is she?” she asked tentatively, and Eleanor chuckled, shaking her head. “No, not now,” she said, “but try not to say her name too many times or she might spontaneously appear.” LOL

Anyway typing all of this made me miss this story a lot. I might need to reread. Thanks again for this I will always be indebted to you.

-Amanda ❤️

okay so flashback, when I realized I needed to write another story for witch way and it was going to publish around the holidays and I didn’t know what to write and I just wanted something easy, I was like okay, I shall simply STEAL elements of mr blake’s life and hometown and how it feels to be home for the holidays (cue “tis the damn season,” also in case you didn’t already know mr blake is from a tiny town in iowa three miles from the minnesota border. it has a lot of problems—an article recently came out about the way rural america fails women—but it does make a good setting, especially because the car accident from the story REALLY HAPPENED TO ME and it was terrifying). and it turned out to be exactly what I wanted, which almost never happens. we did it joe!

anyway it’s a very tropey story but what I fell in love with while I was writing was the multigenerational aspect with the various women in the coven/family, and I have always wanted to revisit that. so it’s nice to know the story is so loved, because aspects of it definitely are alive in my head waiting for the right occasion! also yeah porter can get it

uhm, I hope this isn't rude or, worded weirdly but; may I know how many asks you have in your inbox? I sent one myself a bit ago, but I'm nervous I messed it up or it got eaten; when in reality I'm sure you're just very busy and have more active anons. I'm quite new with tumblr so I've got no idea how this works.

again I'm so sorry if I'm bothering you or this came out mean! I hope it didn't sound that way:<

Here's what my inbox look like at the moment!

There's 129 right now, but usually whenever I go to bed or get off of tumblr, I would get more messages in the inbox ☠️ now, some messages do end up getting duplicated or deleted by tumblr (because it's a glitch or something, idk). I don't know what you sent to me in particular, but let me know and I can try to look for it! Maybe I'll answer it tomorrow since it's almost midnight here and I need to stop typing for today and get some sleep 🥲

January 3rd,2024

I hesitated making a blog post today because all I did was go to work and finish my media edit. But here I am. Making a post. I didn't take a single picture today because, as I said, I was at work all day. Multiple coworkers have told me if I were 18 they would recommend me to become a shift lead (which is a compliment). I like work because I am good at what I do, and I get praised for my hard work. In a lot of my hobbies and things I enjoy, I like doing it but I am either mediocre or very bad at it (like drawing, crocheting, etc). And usually when you are mediocre at something people don't compliment you on it. They don't necessarily say anything bad, they most often just don't really say anything about it at all. A lot of the art I post on twitter only gets likes because it relates to a fandom my moots like, and not the actual effort or technical skill put into it. But I like work because I am good at it and therefore I get complimented by coworkers a lot. I like it. And maybe I seem like a bad person or self centered or whatever because I like compliments, but it feels nice! I can't help liking the feeling of finally liking myself!

I keep calling my media edit a "media edit", because I was inspired by the people who posted media edits/"me core" edits last year, but really it is more of a letteboxd recap. I'm quite proud of it! My computer hates me for making it, because I downloaded a million 2 minute clips just to use like one second from each. I think it turned out pretty good. I am going to make a separate tumblr post for it I think, and I am going to post it on twitter tomorrow. Please ignore the glitches and how low quality a lot of the clips are. Its not my fault that I am not technologically savvy enough to figure out how to get high quality clips or to stop my computer from overheating. Also it gets offbeat for a while, but at that point I had spent so long on it that I decided I wouldn't fix it. The movies are in order of when I watched them (beginning=January, end=December), and I love that you tell when I did marathons. Like all the Shrek movies at the beginning, and the scream movies towards the middle. Fun fact: my friends and I did the Scream marathon right before the newest one came out, with the hopes that we could watch it in theaters together, but two of us were not let in because we were 16. We later watched it at Oomf's house, but only after months of forgetting about it and putting it off. Also something I love about the edit is how you can see that I clearly went through a Jesse Eisenberg phase and a Adam Driver phase (I say that like I am not currently still obsessed with Jesse Eisenberg. He is pookie).