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#and i thought maybe Steve could relate
oatmilk-vampire · 3 months
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Birthday Blues
Read part 2 here.
Steve hates his birthday.
He knows he may not be the only one who gets "birthday blues" but he feels like it's a lot deeper than just the blues.
When he got closer with Eddie and learned of his own shitty upbringing, he thought it'd be a bonding moment for them. Eddie has to hate his birthday too, right?
Wrong.
Despite Eddie’s mom dying when he was only six, and Eddie’s dad being a deadbeat, leaving Eddie on his own before Uncle Wayne took him in, Eddie loved his birthday.
The Munsons may not have been rich but Wayne always did his best to provide Eddie with new(er) clothes, or dice, or guitar picks. A new album or poster for his bedroom walls. Maybe even his favorite food at the diner--something they didn't do often as they usually survived on box cereal and spaghetti-Os.
And when Al Munson finally rolled into town conveniently around his only child's birthday, well he'd give the sort of shitty, low-commitment gift only a father could give.
And Eddie looked forward to it all the same. One or two shitty presents in six years is better than none when it comes to his father. He'd take what he could get.
So, when Eddie's birthday comes and goes and Steve gets invited to his and Wayne's get together with the kids, and then a later party with the members of Corroded Coffin--well of course Steve goes. And he showers Eddie with love and meaningful but still kinda pricey presents, because he can. And he wants to. Despite the merciless teasing he endures. The look on Eddie's face makes Steve feel like he's the one that got the greatest gift of all.
This, of course, all falls apart when Eddie points out Steve's own birthday must be coming up, and he's right. And because he has no tact he announces in front of everyone who realizes in horror that they've gone years of knowing Steve and celebrating his birthday exactly zero times.
Steve's equally horrified now because now everyone is tripping over their feet desperately trying to make it up to him with cakes and ice cream and movies and handmade cards and weird action figures Eddie probably would have liked better.
It's only after Steve gracelessly accepts all of their gift-giving, and fends off at least three panic attacks and two migraines that he has to put on his bitch voice and scream that the only thing he wants for his birthday is to be left alone.
And like usual, the kids do not listen.
Until Eddie steps in. He makes them go, Robin too, even if she is pissed about it. But they go when Eddie assures them that Steve probably just feels a little overwhelmed right now and needs some space.
He's close to leaving too, knowing he may have made a mistake and should probably get out of his hair... But then Steve starts crying and Eddie has to stay.
It's not loud or ugly, just these little, tiny pitiful things like Steve is trying his damnest to not cry. Like the act of tears falling would kill him.
Eddie cautiously slides next to his shaking form on the couch, careful not to jostle him too much.
He bites his lip as he experiments with placing a hand on Steve's shoulder.
Steve tenses under his touch until Eddie speaks,
"Stevie, I'm sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you. None of us did."
His parents were hardly around. Never gave him practical toys he wanted, just whatever they thought a boy should have to shape him into a "proper young man", if they thought he needed toys at all. No parties. Ever. He briefly wanted to throw ragers when he realized he was old enough and his parents wouldn't be home, they never were, but those made him feel even worse so he got used to spending the day like any other. All alone in a big, empty house. Not a home.
Eddie continues to rub soothing circles into Steve's back as he lets it all out, explaining his woes as best he can through a sore throat and runny nose. Eventually he pulls Steve into a proper hug-turned-cuddle until his breathing steadies and he isn't shaking anymore.
"I'm sorry." Eddie holds his breath, hoping it doesn’t trigger another panic attack.
"No--don’t be. Thank you."
"For what? Making you cry?"
"For caring enough to bring it up, even if it was a lot. But mostly for being here, after. Just..."
Steve didn't have to finish his sentence. Eddie knew what he was trying to say.
Thank you for staying. Thank you for holding me. Thank you for loving me.
"Always, Stevie. I'll always be here for you."
Steve squeezes him, and Eddie squeezes back once, twice.
He doesn't say it, but Steve understands.
Happy Birthday... I love you.
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shopcat · 1 year
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i do wish there was more complicated exploration of steve’s sexuality that wasn’t just ‘well i’ve always liked girls so it can’t be both -> oh it is both’. and maybe this is something i have to solve for myself. but i had a journey of like lesbian? -> bisexual? (still a girl?) -> bisexual (boy now) -> gay man (complicated microlabels aside bc i was like 13-16) and i know a lot of other people don’t have a straightforward ‘i thought i was straight turns out i’m not and this is what i am definitely’ process. so i think it would be cool if we explored that more. with steve. (and not just in a throwaway ‘eddie and steve switch sexualities wouldn’t that be fun’ kind of way. which i have seen). this fandom would not do that i think because they are so attached to tropes and not real examinations of characters like they are human people but i like to imagine. anyways i love gay steve i love gay eddie and i love you
hehe i love you too and i agree 💖💖 i think the most fun part about liking fictional works is being able to at whatever depth of your choosing think about a character and the traits they may or may not possess and something as fun + varied + personal as lgbt identity could be immensely satisfying to explore in a creative world where something like that doesn't get typically explored SO! to each their own but personally i think we have had enough "Oh i'm bisexual now by the way because of eddie yeah did you know you can like both i'm so silly aren't i because i didn't know that" stories. in every possible format and headcanon and what the hell ever.
#asks#honestly like i get it and i know why ppl hc him as bi again For Sure...#i have a couple posts around here about what i think he would In my interpretation like act with this in mind#and could probably talk about this until i shrivel up up and away but AGH tbh i just can't relate to what a lot of ppl put out#re his bisexuality and i Love his bisexuality but they're doing boring lame biphobic or otherwise harmful bisexuality. a lot. and why can't#he be gay....... why is this genuinely such a minority opinion that's kind of crazzyyy he's existed as a character for like 8 years#sts#honestly i just don't find it as cute or charming when there is so much repetition like maybe i'd be open to it more if there was genuine#variety but there ISNT i feel like people aren't creating to create they're creating to make content and they want that content to be the#Next Big thing that is a clone work of the 15 thousand other things#like r u telling or showing an actual narrative story with satisfaction ... with thought to character work... Or are u just doing what's#safe bc u know that's what gets attention and breaking out of that mould = being a hater?! or something...#ANYWAY. WHAT.#um yeah he could be bisexual for sure.. partial to it... partial to him being gay... I think he's gay. like many... beautiful world#think he's bi too...#also i'm not actually intending to come off callous or mean spirited here at all esp about soemthing as close to home and heart as this 😭😭#like i said i'm bi this is just what i feel.. what many of my other bi friends feel. and others. and again if u think he's bi Well yeah#but some people are annoying . and that is what my initial frustration was about . SIGH#unfortch being the guy with the url means i get a lot of unintended and intended weirdness in my direction in general#Everyone hates gay little steve ........ And at what cost
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taintedcigs · 3 months
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i slept with someone from corroded coffin and all i got was this stupid song written about me.
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ROCKSTAR!FBOY!EDDIE X READER
summary: fooling around with a famous rockstar who's a notorious playboy sounds perfect on paper, until you catch feelings for him. that's why you decide to end things, to not get your feelings get hurt, and its all going perfectly, until eddie releases a song, written all about you.
warnings: smut, p in v, MINORS DNI!!!!, pet names, praising?, lovey dovey, kinda angst and arguments, drgs & alcohol mention, swearing? idk this is kinda cheesy n cute with a mix of fluff sprinkled honestly!
author's note: the indented parts are texts between steve and reader and thenn reader and eddie. they look confusing as fuck im sorry i just wanted to make them look unique but they look stupid. also yes. i patted myself in the back after i found this title (thank you fob). and yes the lyrics are inspired by i don't care im on a fob kick sue me! and ofc fboy!eddie isn't actually that much of a fboy bc if i can't write lovesick eddie ill die. this is super cheesy so i still struggled a lot but UGH. not proof-read ignore all mistakes
also credits to @dumplingsjinson for the prompts! (i changed them but still!) and @saradika for the dividers! pls like + rb + interact w me in anyway to support my writings!! ty!!
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DINGUS sent you a spotify link. did you listen to this? yeah. its kinda romantic. no. the lyrics are insane. n all about u okay? are u at the party rn? yeah. u comin? soon he’s there too u already knew that, didn’t u?  false accusations r rude, steve.
You click your phone off with a groan, but he was right. You couldn’t stay away from him, and maybe, just maybe, this was your way of running into him, accidentally. 
Because ever since he released the song, the tabloids had gone crazy with it, half of the lyrics screamed you and all of the old headlines pointed at you, the mystery girl Eddie used to be seen with, and you really were growing tired of seeing your name next to “Munson’s new girl.” 
Because you weren’t his new girl, you weren’t his anything. He was a cocky asshole who was good with a guitar and was even better at fucking. And that was something both of you could relate to, the only thing you had in common with him. Or, so you thought. 
But of course, as with everything else, the things between you changed, you started staying over, he started staying over, and the two of you even went on fucking dates, disguising them under ‘we were just hungry, is all.’ 
You tried to keep up the cool girl act, like you could fuck someone and not catch feelings. Every inch of you itched not to care, to act like it was all fine, but it was all fucking bullshit, you cared, so fucking much that your chest ached. The more you got to know him, the more you fell for him, and the more you fell for him, the more you realized there was no fucking way this would work. 
Cocky rockstar who spent more time doing drugs than sleeping, with girls all over him? The imaginary red flag bells rang in your ear, even now. He wasn’t looking for a relationship and you knew that. That’s why you ended it two months ago. Or at least, you started ignoring him two months ago. 
Yet, he had been calling and texting you, wanting to meet up, drunken slurs of nonsense, gibberish voicemails, and yet you never answered, because if you did, you knew you’d be back to pathetically swooning over him.
Until today, just because of that stupid song, like it meant anything. That douchebag probably wrote songs about every girl he fucked. 
You weren’t special. 
Another ding sound from your phone almost startled you, the contact name made you groan even louder. “don’t FUCKING answer.” That didn’t mean shit. It was just something stupid to make you feel better that you couldn’t stay away from him, because you knew, deep down that if you really didn’t want him to contact you, you would’ve deleted his number, and blocked him. You were too chicken shit to do that, and still desperately wanted to hear from him. 
So you settled on that contact name. Like it made a difference, like it changed anything. 
DONT FUCKING ANSWER did you listen to the song?
Don’t fucking answer. The contact name should be enough to convince yourself that.
Too late.
                                                                   no. don’t lie to me, sweetheart.                                                                            why would i lie?
You sink into the couch, a much quieter corner of the party, not even bothering to socialize. Your brows furrow, index finger flying to your lips anxiously, as you chew on it to patiently wait for an answer.
You sip on your drink with a nervous gaze on your screen, barely noticing the way the couch sink further when someone else took a seat next to you. 
“Hi.” The gravelly voice pulls your attention away from the screen, making you set your drink aside as you look up, finding yourself face-to-face with him. 
Shaggy bangs cascade onto his forehead, and with your exaggeration, it looks longer than the last time you saw him. Black jeans cladded with chains. A graphic tee messily thrown over his heavily tatted chest, that you could still imagine right about now—pathetic. He looked just about the same, the deep dimple adorning his soft cheeks had seemed to disappear, wearing a scowl instead, that tiny voice in your head told you that was your doing, that maybe he was just as miserable as you. Maybe your feelings weren’t fully one-sided.  
Shit. 
“Eddie?” Squeaky, and annoying, you were sure that’s how your tone sounded, yet he didn’t seem to comment on it.
“‘m glad you remember my name, sweetheart,” he scoffs sarcastically, leaning further into the plush couch, elbow propped at the side, eyeing you with frustration. 
“W—what the hell are you doing here?” You stutter as if you weren’t expecting to run into him. Full of bullshit. 
“Did ya really think you could ignore me forever, huh?” He tilts his head slightly, almost expectedly, earning an eye roll from you. 
“I wasn’t ignoring yo—”
Eddie tuts quickly, his gaze locking onto yours with an intensity that cuts through the ambient noise of the party, “I thought we said no more lies, huh?” 
With a huff, “Why are you here, Eddie?” you mumble.
“Am I not allowed to party?” He banters, brows slightly raised, making you huff out an exasperated breath, your eyes bore into him, almost to signal him ‘Take this seriously.’
“I wanted to know what you thought.” He shrugs like it was normal to just come running after everything just to know what you thought of the song. 
“The song?” He nods in confirmation.
“Didn’t like it,” you confess, avoiding his gaze, but your brows betray you, lifting ever so slightly.
He tsks, shutting you off quickly, “You see that little quirk your brow did? That only happens when you lie, you can’t help it. You do that when I ask you if you ate the last pizza slice, or when I ask if you watched the next episode of the show we were supposed to watch together, or when you—” 
“Fine, fine! I liked it,” you groan, interrupting him and suddenly standing up from the comfort of the couch, being so face-to-face with him immediately making your nerves bubble.
“Just liked?” He tilts his head slightly, a smirk curving on his lips. 
A deep sigh of breath, “what do you want, Munson?”
He stands up with you, making you back away from him with a heavy footstep, the entire party was too loud and crowded, yet, in this stupid corner, it was just the two of you. “For you to admit that you loooved the song, and how much you missed me,” he sing-songs, taking a step closer to you, musky smell invading your senses, making you take a deep breath.
Both of you stand near the wall, and it should be awkward, it should be enough to make you leave, but all it does is draw you closer to him.
“You’re annoying.” 
“Is that why you’ve been avoiding me?”
“I wasn’t avoiding—” He tuts, with his stupid index finger up, rejecting your lie.
“I—I don’t know what you expected.” You shrug, so nonchalantly that his gaze narrows, chest aching with the implications of your words.
“We both knew this wouldn’t last forever, didn’t we?” You chew the inside of your lip to stop those tears that had been begging to flow ever since you listened to the song, wiping off that smirk on Eddie’s lips. 
“Would’ve been nice if I got a reminder, and not have been just fully ghosted, huh?” The brunette grumbles with a downturn of his lips, shaking his head in disbelief. 
“Oh, don’t act all high and mighty, isn’t that what you do all the fucking time?” you snap, gaze narrowed, and arms crossed against your chest. 
“Fuck girls and then leave them? Did it crush your ego this fucking much that I did before you could?” 
“What the fuck does that mean?” He retaliates. 
“It means I was smart enough to pull myself away from your bullshit,” you rasp, disdain written all over your face.The room seems to shrink as the distance between you decreases. 
Another step closer to you, and you didn’t realize your back had hit the wall now. “My bullshit? God, that’s fucking rich, if I seem to recall correctly sweetheart, you were in this as much as I fucking was!”
“Oh, was I?” You bark out a chuckle, cruel, mocking, “I don’t remember being okay with you fucking half the city.” Realization of how bitter and jealous that sounds, dawns on you much later than the words leave your lips, and thankfully, Eddie’s too fucking immersed to realize the double meaning of your words. 
“Are you fucking kidding? No strings attached! Non-exclusive! That’s what you fuckin’ signed up for!” His voice echoes, mirroring his frustration, and you open your mouth.
But he doesn’t let you speak further, cutting you off sharply. “Is this all because of that new guy you’re seein’?” 
“What? What guy?” 
“The one who was all over you earlier,” he bites out, jaw clenched, and you can almost taste his bitterness in the air.  
“The same one you fucked at Jeff’s party.”
“Are you stalking me, Munson?” 
“Did you just want an excuse to end things? Are the two of you serious or somethin’?” His voice wavered between anger and desperation, gaze pathetically searching for yours, to gauge your reaction.
You scoff. Did he really think you’d end things because of a stupid fling you had which in the first place occurred just so you could forget him? He was so goddamn clueless it drove you insane. 
But what you didn’t realize was that you were just as clueless, if not more, because why would he write a song all about you, if this was just about sex? Because who would get so jealous of someone they didn’t care about? 
Say my name and his in the same breath.
I dare you to say they taste the same. 
The lyrics from his stupid song swirled your thoughts, yet you were still too stupid to see it, weren’t you?
Another step closer to you, a dangerous game the two of you liked to play. He smelled alluring, a fucked up mix of nicotine, his musky cologne, and that damn leather jacket. “Do you really think, he could compare to me, sweetheart?” 
Say my name and his in the same breath.
“Tell me he’s fucking better, and he’s actually what you want, and I’ll fucking leave, I’ll bury all the other songs I wrote, tell me, and I’ll be out of your hair forever.”
I dare you to say they taste the same. 
And just like that, all the defenses you put up, all the times you ignored him, they are cracked, disappearing into thin air. You hate it, you hate that he has this effect on you, you can feel your mind getting hazier, eyes blinking rapidly to process what the fuck is going on, and his face is mere inches away from yours. You knew their names didn’t taste the same. And you knew he could never ever compare to Eddie.
“Tell me,” he encourages, dares you to. You fail to notice how much emotion his gaze carries, how the corners of his lips twitch, just at the thought of you finally admitting you don’t want him. His stomach turns at the thought, this is his last chance, he knows that, and he can’t fucking lose you. He can’t. 
And you don’t know any of that, but you knew, know that no one else could compare to him. And you hate yourself for thinking that, you hate yourself for falling for him, the world stops rotating on its axis when he’s in your peripheral vision, and it’s fucking disgusting. Pathetic. Stupid. Because you know the two of you have no chance. But here you are. 
“H—he is b—” Of course, your brow quirks up almost immediately, betraying you quicker than you can even attempt to lie. 
That dawning smirk appears on his lips again, it’s mocking, and just as much smug. You want to wipe it off of his stupidly pretty face. “Tell me,” he dares you, again. This time much cockier and confident, and you suddenly realize how small you feel under him.
“He isn’t,” your meek voice is barely audible.
And you don’t register the shaky breath he draws when the words leave your lips, giving him the confirmation he needs. You wanted him, he had no fucking clue why you ghosted him, yet you still wanted him. Just as much as he wanted you. 
Both of his hands were placed on the wall now, towering over you, making your breath get caught up in your throat. “Speak up.”
“No, fuck! You know he’s not, you know he could never fucking compare to you, you fucking know tha—” He shuts you up with a rough kiss, lips pressed against yours messily, letting the petty comments die down your throat. Because this is all he wanted, needed to hear anyway. 
“Up,” he grunts into the kiss, tapping your thighs, hoisting you up from your waist to help you wrap your legs around him, tight, he wants you at his mercy, locked to him. 
You wrap your legs around him, barely, the melty sensation in your knees making you so shaky that he barks out a laugh into your lips, holding you close, firm, the butterflies in your stomach traveling all across your body.
He lifts you up as if you are weightless, arms wrapped around you strongly as he carries you to the nearest empty bedroom, impressively without hitting your back anywhere, so roughly that your core throbs at the feeling of his arms around you.
“Baby,” he mutters as he lowers you down on the bed swiftly, smooth, gaze darkened and pupils blown wide, all the pent up desire waiting to explode. 
“Eddie,” you beg, shaky voice sounding purely angelic to his ears once he got rid of his shirt, shrugging it off with a huff, his fingertips grazing against your top, feeling your hardened nipples, causing gasps out of you, he’s quick to pull it over your head while you run your fingers up the grooves of his stomach, the tip of your fingertips almost burns everywhere you touch. 
He groans at the sight of your bare breasts, “missed thi-you,” he corrects himself, because that’s all he wanted anyways, you. 
He nips at your nipples, tongue good at giving attention to both of them, all wet and warm, making you squirm under his touch, you’re quick to get rid of everything else, leaving you in your panties, making him grunt. 
The pad of his thumb rubs against your left nipple, leaving goosebumps in its wake, while his other hand travels down your chest, then your stomach, finally drawing circles when it stops between your thighs, ghosting over your panties before he tugs them down your legs, spreading them apart with a slight hum, pupils blown so wide that you can’t admire those chocolate hues anymore. 
He visually drinks in that sight of you, laid down on the couch, eyes squeezed shut, back arched, and he hasn’t even touched you yet. You’re completely at his mercy and his chest aches with need. “So pretty like this f’me,” he coos into your chest, pushing his middle finger inside of you. Making you feel so good that you can’t stop the gasps coming out of your lips.   
Pleasure shivers through everywhere he sucks and touches, his finger eases into you when he adds another one, a moan escaping you quickly. “Need to be in here, sweetheart, d’ya have any idea how much I missed this?” 
You don’t. You don’t know about the sleepless nights, the drunken ones, the drug-induced ones in an attempt to recreate the high you gave him. It’s fucked up, it’s insanely toxic. Yet, he can’t get enough of you. 
His gaze upon you is dangerous, maybe it’s because he had missed you so goddamn much, or maybe because he didn’t know where this would lead, but it felt fucking sentimental, different somehow, and he could feel you, everywhere on his skin.
Your hips start rocking up against him when the pad of his thumb flicks over your clit, making you arch your back, whines, mumbles leaving your lips. And all he can muster is, “so goddamn beautiful, look at you whining for me.”
You can feel his bulge rub against your thigh every now and then, it’s distracting, almost agonizing. You desperately need it inside of you, you had missed him, missed his touch, missed the feeling of him filling you to the brim, you missed seeing his face contort in pleasure when he was inside of you, you wanted him to never forget you again. 
That’s why you feel so numb, can barely speak, and of course, Eddie notices, how unusually quiet you are, and he wants to make this unforgettable, just so you have another reason to come back to him. Just so you don’t leave him, just so you stay forever. 
“Gone too quiet on me, honey, tell me what you need,” he coos down at you, thumb still caressing your pussy, and all you can fucking do is chew down on your bottom lips, eyeing his bulge that was begging to get out. And he barks out a goddamn chuckle, “P—please, Eddie.” Pathetically leaves your lips. 
And normally he would make you beg, tease further, but he reaches to tug down his pants quickly, because fuck, he had missed you. And he can’t bear the thought of not being inside of you any longer. 
Thinking is not your strongest suit right now either, your brain is mushy, all the nights and days spent thinking about him, about this explodes into your body. Your pussy aches when you finally see his cock again, a sound of need leaving your lips as you eye his length, so big that pleasure ripples through you, especially when you see his gushy tip, glistening with pre-cum. 
You want every fucking inch inside of you, and Eddie’s more than ready to oblige, “What do you need, baby? Tell me.”
“Need you, Eddie,” you moan, all fucked out, his fingers slip in and out of you still, but it isn’t enough for him. He needs more, he craves your validation like he never has before. 
“God, you’re soakin’ my fingers, princess,” he grunts, wedging himself between your thighs, weeping cock drips onto your inner thighs, making you moan breathlessly. “Tell me exactly what you fuckin’ want, honey.”
“Eddie.” His name sounds like silk, even when it’s so lewd, Eddie decides, and it makes him let out an impatient huff. “P—please. Need you to fuck me.” It’s so goddamn desperate that you can feel heat rise to your cheeks, but it’s everything to him.
“Want you to fuck me like you mean it.”
“Oh, that’s easy, sweetheart,” he grunts, lining his cock through your entrance, coating himself in your slick, enjoying your mewls before he doesn’t hesitate to push his cock inside of you, inch by inch, relishing the way you cry out for him. 
Greedily, you rock your hips into him, making him let out a frustrated groan. “Have no fuckin’ idea how much I missed this greedy cunt, sweetheart, shit.” He thrusts in a few more inches, and breathless moans and babbles of his name fill the air.
“Suckin’ me right in, baby, fuck, you’re so pretty like this, mhmm.” His cock moves inside of you, and your hands are wrapped around his back, desperately clawing at it, the fullness making you want more, “you like that, baby, like bein’ full of me?” A heavy sound leaves his lips, pathetic and you pulse around him. 
“S’so good Eddie, and s’big,” you barely manage to let out, and he watches you with that burning amber gaze, thrusting all the way in without hesitation. Those plushy lips that hang open, that filthy mouth, the prettiest fucking features—you, were going to be the death of him. 
Maybe it’s because you had missed him, or maybe because you hadn’t experienced this in a long time, or fuck, maybe, just maybe that the song had created a new type of need between the two of you. Using sex as a sort of connection that the both of you desperately needed. But, shit, was it this different this time. 
He felt different—his lips, touch, skin as it slapped against yours, it was different. 
Full. You feel so fucking full that your back involuntarily arches against him, fingers clenching desperately, your screams and cries filling the room the more he plunges inside of you, deeper, hungry, and just as greedy as you. 
“Yeah, better than that asshole?” It rolls off his lips so bitter and jealous that you can barely register it. Not being used to this possessive side of him, and it’s glorious, especially when he’s pounding his frustrations and insecurities into you. 
“Mhmm, so much better.” You clawed at his back, every thrust of his hip making you feel higher and higher, mind filled with nothing but him. 
“So pretty like this when you say my name, sweetheart… so goddamn beautiful, and all mine, yea?” He wants a confirmation, and wants to hear you say it, his head ducking between your breasts again to kiss, taste, suckle them. Make sure he never forgets it. 
“Wanna hear you say it.” He hums, the vibrations reverberating through your chest straight into your core, cock plowed so deep inside of you that you can barely speak through your cries, hitting that sweet spot that every other asshole misses. 
You’re too scared to give him what he wants. But you feel him, everywhere, and you still want more, of course, you’re his. That’s all you fucking wanted anyway. Plushy lips shake as you gaze up at him, his amber hues are so sticky-sweet that you still struggle to process it, words come out in a ramble “All yours, Eddie.”
His mouth crashes onto yours roughly, desire coursing through both of your bodies, almost interconnected. “Shit, fuckin’ hell sweetheart, ‘m not gonna last long.” His thrusts are getting sloppier, yet you feel the ravaging desire coursing through your veins. 
“So perfect,” he murmurs, the kiss he lays on your lips just as relentless, not letting you breathe or think for a goddamn second, you’re so goddamn close.
And you wonder, how the fuck did you even go two months without this? Without him?
“Eddie!” You cry out once you feel the pad of his thumb rubbing against your clit, eyes squeezed shut as your orgasm washes over you. Pure bliss overtakes you while you claw at his back, his body tenses, and cock flexes as he cums inside of you, groans and curses left in your hair. 
Minutes pass of you lying next to each other, breathless, processing everything that just transpired. And you should feel guilty, embarrassed, and should run to the hills for doing this with him again. 
But you’re obsessed, addicted. He’s like an excitement that you’re sure you’ve never felt before, running through your veins, like a fucking drug. 
Both of you get dressed in silence, the party booming outside is quick to bring the two of you back to reality, and out of the trance that he pulled you in. 
He breaks your bewilderment with a slight “Fuck.” Standing on the opposite side of the bed before he fully turns to you. “This wasn’t—I was supposed to talk to you.” He mutters, fingertips anxiously running through his tousled hair.
Caught off guard and awfully curious, you mumble, “About what?”
“The song…”
“I told you I liked it.”
His brow furrows deeper, and he shakes his head in frustration. “No, that’s not it—uh, did you not listen to the lyrics?”
“I did.”
“And?”
Your face searches his for some clarity, you take a step closer to him, the distance between the two of you was still awfully much according to him. “What are you asking of me, Eddie? Did you really think one song would just solve everything?”
“You don’t get it, do you?”
“W—what am I supposed to get Eddie? You wanna have your cake and eat it too! And I just can’t fucking do that, not anymore.”
“That’s—that’s not it!” His voice wavers, with urgency, and desperation in his tone. He takes a step forward, attempting to bridge the emotional gap, feeling so fucking frustrated that he wants to rip his hair out.
“Then fucking explain it to me!” You plead. 
“You want an explanation, fine! Fucking fine!” His frustration echoed through the room, pacing back and forth, making you take a deep breath. 
Was he… actually gonna do this? 
“You wanna know what the fuck I’ve been doing ever since you ghosted me?” He ran a hand through his hair, scared, gaze all mellow and vulnerable in a way you have never seen before. It makes your shoulders slump when you nod. 
“I go to those stupid Hollywood parties, meet asshole rockstars—the most interesting shit, yet somehow someway the thought of you will pop up in my mind, uncalled for, might I add, and then I can’t stop thinking about it, can’t stop thinking about you the whole fucking day.” Your eyes widen, trying to absorb his revelation, yet he won’t stop rambling and you feel your chest tighten with each word, fuck, he’s finally doing it.
“I—I never—shit! I never thought myself capable of feeling things like this, but fuck, you came along, with that goddamn smile, throwing a manicured middle finger right in my face, a—and just put up with my bullshit.” His voice softened, and he couldn’t help but trace the contours of your face, to desperately know if you were on the same boat, and you look at him with such glistened eyes that his heart leaps to his stomach. 
“My world flipped upside down, and you have proven me, so goddamn wrong that I don’t even know who the fuck I am anymore!” The tears almost welled in your eyes, because, fuck, there was no way this was real.  
You reached out instinctively, the corner of your mouth twitching uncontrollably. “E—Eddie, please… please stop saying things you don’t fucking mean.” 
“Things I don’t mean?” He gives you a breathy chuckle, ironic, and nowhere near funny. His eyes bore into yours, intense and searching. “Do you think I like feeling whatever the hell this is? I fucking don’t, you have me acting like someone I’m so unfamiliar with, to the point where it scares me. All I can think about is you, you, you, because you occupy every single space of my mind.” Your eyes soften, the room seemingly pulsing with his emotions, making you feel hot everywhere on your body. 
He felt the same way.
Eddie felt the same way. 
“B—but fuck I’m scared, honey, I’m so goddamn scared,” He admits, the vulnerability in his voice cutting through the tension before he’s at your side, calloused hands grabbing you by the shoulder, so softly that you melt into him.
“Because what if—what if all of this comes crashing down one day?” His voice trembles, gaze avoiding yours, he was scared, so goddamn scared of losing you. Forever. He doesn’t want that, he couldn’t afford that. 
“Just two months away from you fucking sucked. I didn’t—I don’t wanna feel these things, but you make it so hard not to.”  His forehead rests against yours, making you suck in a deep breath, it’s all so fucking sentimental, and all you wanna do this kiss him, tell him you feel the exact same way. Tell him about your fears. 
“And now I can’t fucking stop, fuck,” He confesses, admission punctuated by a frustrated sigh. 
“I wrote you a song,” he gently caresses your cheek, and you’re so scared to look up at him, to meet his tender gaze, because you know you can’t hold yourself back. 
“I came over to this party in a frenzy when I found out you’d be here,” he continued, his fingers tracing a delicate pattern along your jawline. “I—I just I haven’t even been able to touch another girl.” Your eyes snap open, you’re sure they’re almost heart-shaped now, with the adoration you look at him.
“And, do you actually fucking think I'd write songs for just anyone—” His question lingers in the air before you shut him up with a kiss, rough, sweet, and making Eddie feel dizzy all over, his head struggles to comprehend it all, breathless but he manages to react just in time.
The booming music becoming a mere background noise when he had you, mind swirling with all the possibilities and mouth begging to never stop tasting you. He wants to let you completely engulf him, feel you everywhere.
Everything he wanted and more.
He fucking hates himself for doing this, but he pulls away, mesmerized, eyes so wide that you can’t believe this is Eddie, he’s all flustered, salmon pink. And it makes a wider grin sit on your lips. “So… you—uh, what does this mean?”
You smile at him, lips widely stretching into a grin, as you shrug. “It means I feel the same, Eddie.” you admit, tone a tender reassurance. “That’s why I tried to shut you out… to try to move on, because I was scared—fuck, but I feel the same way.”
“So, does that mean we're dating now?”
“We can take things slow, figure everything out?” you mutter with a shy gaze, lips itching to twitch into a smile, again. “But I—uh—I like you, I really, really like you.”
“Gone soft on me already, sweetheart?” he mumbles with a stupid grin, making you elbow him softly, with an exaggerated playful huff. 
He’s quick to flinch, rubbing his arm as if you even delivered a powerful blow. “Ow—what the hell is wrong with you?”
“You think I’m going soft? You’re the one who wrote his feelings as an exaggerated love song!” 
He leans further slightly, his grin widening when you gave him those adorable eyes, finding you both equally amusing and endearing. “Oh… just you wait.”
You arched a brow, curiosity piqued, “What the hell does that mean?”
“The album is coming out soon, sweetheart. If you think this was an exaggeration, you should hear the whole fucking thing.”
That glint re-appears in your eyes just as quickly, gaze softening as you melt into his embrace.
“You’re an idiot, Eddie Munson.” You tease, scrunching your nose at him, so adorably that he leans down and presses a gentle kiss onto your hair.
He's an idiot, a total complete fucking idiot, but he's all yours.
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biteofcherry · 1 year
Note
Does mafia!Steve's Reader ever get jealous? Maybe there's a businesswoman or mafia related one that Steve has to have meetings with and reader gets jealous?
Nesting
Not an inch away
mafia!Steve Rogers x female reader
warnings for the part below: some angst; soft!dark Steve Rogers; mafia!Steve Rogers; possessive behavior; arranged/forced relationship;
~ * ~
You shouldn't care. You really shouldn't, you tell yourself as you watch Steve open the restaurant door for that other woman to enter.
A woman that looks stunning in a body-clinging white dress and killer heels, not a single thing out of place in her confident persona.
She tilts her head and smiles at Steve, who reciprocates with one of his most charming smiles - one that gets you weak in the knees when he flashes it at you.
He told you he'd be home late because he has boring business meetings to attend to, so you talked your bodyguards slash enablers - Natasha and Yelena - to go to the movies and for some greasy food afterwards.
It's pure coincidence that the spot you picked for your snacking was opposite of a fancy restaurant to which Steve took this woman.
You know plenty of women have successful businesses, but you don't think a mob boss of Steve's caliber would actually do any business with one of them. In a romantic restaurant at that.
Natasha's face is perfectly impassive at the sight, but Yelena cringes as if she feels bad for you for seeing this.
You tell yourself that it shouldn't matter. This whole arrangement, one practically forced upon you after Steve found out about your pregnancy, is one you wanted out of at first, right?
The elegant, shiny ring on your finger, which you grew to love and often looked at with a fond smile, now reminded you of the cage Steve trapped you in. Gold, pretty cage.
With how intense and dotting Steve was, you actually believed the cage could become a warm house, with a faithful, loving husband.
Seemed you were going to become a cliche, instead. A wife to produce heirs to a mafia king, while he fucked around with whomever he desired.
Perhaps you should walk into the restaurant, make a scene, throw a drink in Steve's face. Throw it at that woman's white dress.
But you only clench your hands on the paper bag with takeout you bought to eat at home (your pregnancy is turning you into a bottomless pit). You straighten your back and keep your head up high as you march to the car and get inside, Natasha and Yelena slipping inside soundlessly.
Yelena tries to say something, explain Steve's actions, but you tell her you're not interested.
"I don't care." You announce as coldly as you can, quite proud that your voice doesn't crack with how hurt you feel inside.
At home you devour your food. And some chocolate muffins that you baked in the morning. Each bite as delicious as heavy, your stomach revolting with the bitter jealousy and anger at the thought of what Steve was up to.
Are they having a romantic dinner and smiling at each other across the table? Is he sliding his hand up her thigh and under her dress? Does he make her come silently in front of all the patrons?
Will he take her to a hotel room, or one of his apartments that he owns all around the city, and fuck her into a screaming mess?
Will he fuck her better than he did you last night... yanking a fistful of your hair as he wrecked you into a dripping mess and praised you, A good little wife, taking all of me so well.
Ripping apart another muffin, you decide on your next step. You know running away wouldn't work. For one, you have two guards, who may be friendly, but still were loyal to Steve and what he said triumphed over whatever you wanted.
Secondly, even if you managed to slip out, Steve would find you. And he'd drag you back into the cage and the life he builds with you beside him.
You can't leave the penthouse, but you can make yourself a safe space in one of the free guest rooms.
Since Steve's dipping his dick in other woman's cunt, he doesn't need you sleeping beside him.
You definitely don't want to touch him when he reeks of other woman's perfume. You don't even want to see him.
So after you drag most of your stuff from the main bedroom and hastily put it in the closet in your new room, you close the door. Just in time, because less than ten minutes later the echo of firm footsteps resounds.
You flip a book open, trying to focus on the printed words and not on the way your heart hammers in your chest as you hear Steve's footsteps aiming for the main bedroom.
A vicious part of you hopes that he is a shocked, seeing that you're not there.
Not in the huge bed, naked under soft covers, waiting for your husband lord and master to throw you a crumb of his attention.
The emotionally heaving part of you shudders in sobs at the image of Steve simply not minding that you're not there.
Maybe he's only a little surprised, but brushes it off and simply takes a shower to wash off the remnants of that woman's arousal and his own sweat. Then he'll get into bed and fall asleep sated, uncaring for your state as long as you obediently stayed inside.
You rub at your eyes, cursing the tears away. You shake your head and try once again to focus on the words you're reading.
But then, after a long stretch of silence, footsteps sound through the space. A creaking of door being open. Then another. Slowly moving towards where you are hidden.
Your heart rate increases, fingers trembling against the paper pages of your book.
You take a breath, willing yourself to remain calm and not show Steve how hurt you are. Play it the way mob bosses wives in movies and tv shows do it - cold and indifferent, an armor around you, so nothing can prickle you.
The door to your claimed room opens and Steve stands there in the doorway in all his stormy glory.
He frowns, seeing you sitting stiffly on the bed.
He walks inside. Sleeves of his suit jacket are pushed up, showing his forearms and twirls of tattoos. He braces his hands on his hips and gives you a look that's a combination of concern and blatant anger.
"Can you explain what's the meaning of all this?" Steve's voice is thick and raspy.
You swallow, but shrug nonchalantly as if his heated gaze isn't bothering you.
"I thought it's better to leave the main bedroom, in case you brought your companion home for the night." You say and return your gaze to the book, fighting the urge to wave him away with a dismissive gesture.
"What?" Steve's frown deepens, actual confusion showing on his face.
"I'm not sure your mistress would like seeing me there. Might ruin the mood." You lift your head and sneer at him. "So I simply made it easier for you."
"I have a mistress now?" Steve raises a single brow, remaining calm while everything inside of you was boiling.
You snap your book closed and slam in onto the bedside table. With a little huff you get off the bed and stomp over to Steve.
"No need to lie." You scoff. "I saw you. With her. Didn't know mob business meant taking beautiful women to expensive restaurants."
You push at his chest in anger, but Steve's strong, muscled body doesn't even sway at your outburst. So you push at him again, unsuccessfully, but at least you get to unleash some of your fury.
"Just do me a favor and don't bring any of your whores home once the baby is here. Stay in one of your apartments, or allow me to move into one."
You can't hold off tears anymore and as some pour out, trickling down your cheeks, you clench your hands into fists and slam them against Steve's chest.
Steve's fingers wrap around your wrists, a tight, almost painful hold that keeps your hands bound to his chest.
"You are not going away from me." He declares, a definite order.
His eyes darken, a flash of lethal danger he rarely directed at you.
"In any form." He ads, obviously meaning you switching bedrooms.
Slowly, Steve's face lightens up. Twinkles appear in his eyes and it makes another wave of annoyance surge through you.
He keeps your wrists locked in one of his hands as he uses the other hand to cup your cheek.
"Any moving you're going to do is along with me." He says and tries to lean his forehead against yours, but you pull your head back.
Steve sighs.
"Which is why," he forces you to maintain eye contact with him, "I had a meeting with Camilla. She's a real estate agent who works for me on renovating a house that I bought for us. For our family."
His words make you speechless. A house? Someplace where you'd feel more free and where your kids could run in glee.
Still, you remain suspicious. You want to assume it's just a crafty lie, you're sure Steve's good at those.
"The Infinite is a rather romantic place to talk construction." You narrow your eyes.
Steve chuckles and shakes his head. He lets go of your wrists to wrap both his arms around you, pulling you close to him despite your attempt to squirm away.
"Jealous little bird." He hums and slides one of his hands up to grip the back of your neck.
"In my line of work-" Steve leans closer, his nose tracing the line of your jaw, hot breath tickling your skin making you shiver-
"I manipulate people. Some with threats, some with sugar. And some, like Camilla, with never voiced promise of something they wish for."
Steve's soft snicker puffs across your cheek at your sneer. His lips travel toward your lips. You close your eyes at the intensity of his blue irises and the way your body reacts to the touch of his mouth against yours.
"A restaurant dinner gave her that little spark that will make her work her ass off to grand me all my wishes regarding our house. Even though not once have I even brushed an inch of her body with my fingers."
"It also happens-" the tip of Steve's tongue licks over your bottom lip, his hand starts pulling up the hem of your nightgown- "that I know how to manipulate my wife's body, so she sweats out all that jealousy and anger while she creams on my cock."
Your tiny, needy whimper makes him chuckle in dark victory.
"That what you need, huh?" He grips your buttock and kneads it. "Should I fuck you braindead every day, so that your mind doesn't come up with silly ideas?"
"It wasn't silly." You try to defend your earlier outburst, but it comes out breathy and weak.
"Thinking I could be interested in anyone else when I have your sweet, ripe body at my disposal. Absolutely ridiculous." Steve flashes you a wolfish grin.
He lifts you up suddenly, forcing your arms and legs to wrap around him. His fingers slide from your ass to dip between your thighs as he turns around and walks out of the room.
"You're coming back to our bedroom." He growls a command.
"I'm going to keep you naked and full of cum for the next few days, so it really sinks in that neither of us is stepping away from this marriage. Ever."
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thefreakandthehair · 10 months
Text
a little fluff for @starrystevie's birthday! hope it's the absolute best day! ✨
Eddie misses Steve.
It's equal parts cute, and maybe a little pitiful because it's only three days in Chicago for his friend's Bachelor Party, but it's already been two days and he misses Steve. Bandit digs his claws into Eddie's thigh as he makes biscuits and begs for pets, curling up comfortably next to Eddie's lap and leaving Steve's side of the couch overwhelmingly cold and empty.
"I know, kid. I know," Eddie coos, scratching their cat behind the left ear as he purrs.
He's glad that Steve had been able to get the time off from work to go, and he's glad that Steve's made friends on his recreational basketball league, and he's not jealous. At all. Not even a little bit.
... Okay, maybe he is a little bit jealous that Brandon gets to see him sweaty and gross in the June heat, running around doing whatever jock-activity they've planned in the backyard of their rented house all weekend, but who can blame him? Steve never gives him a reason to feel insecure so he knows this isn't about Steve. It's not rooted in anything even remotely related to him or their relationship— it's all about Eddie and the nasty voice in the back of his head that pulls out a bullhorn and screams not good enough on a loop.
Condensation from the beer in his free hand drips down his wrist as he rests his elbow on the arm of the couch. It's not the first time he's felt this way, and Steve himself has admitted to feeling the same way from time to time, so he knows that it'll pass. He just needs to focus on something else: DND campaign planning, sketching, writing, cracking out the ol' guitar. He could rewatch Howard the Duck for the hundredth time, or maybe even Labyrinth—
Buzz, buzz, buzz.
Eddie's phone buzzes on the coffee table and he fully expects it to be Gareth or Jeff, or maybe Robin. They have plans later that night, both of them missing Steve and all. What he doesn't expect is a series of text messages and 19 photos from Steve.
How funny. It's been five years since they'd become EddieandSteve but seeing Steve's name and smiling photo on his phone sets his little hummingbird heart aflutter even still.
steve 👑: it's so goddamn hot here steve 👑: we're playing cornhole now and just threw a football around steve 👑: sweating all the beer and vodka out as a I go, that's healthy, right? don't worry, I'm drinking a shit ton of water.
Steve includes a selfie of himself, smiling closed-lipped with a baseball cap on backwards and the neck of his tee-shirt drenched in sweat. Eddie wants to lick him dry and that's a thought he'll never tell a living soul, probably not even Steve. No, no definitely not Steve. He'll never live that one down.
steve 👑: oh, and fishing was good! we made some bets on who could catch the most and then who could catch the biggest. I tied for first place for the biggest and I caught 17. brandon got 20 so he won that bet. I'm only letting it go because it's his bachelor party lmao
Eddie swipes to the next photo, one of Steve and Brandon holding their two biggest catches. Steve's sunglasses are sliding down his nose, no doubt from the sun warming his glistening skin, and he's smiling wide against the railing of a boat. As much as he misses him, Eddie can't help but mirror his smile. Call him lovesick or 'down bad', as Robin says, but seeing Steve happy makes him happy.
He continues swiping and reading the little blurb attached to each photo, some of which don't even include Steve but Eddie appreciates them all the same. They don't include Steve, but it feels a lot like Steve trying include Eddie in the weekend. The last picture is one of the entire group, all dozen or so guys lined up on the ship. Brandon stands in the center surrounded by the rest of the group with Steve shuffled in no meaningful spot but to Eddie, Steve is the center of every photo, every moment, everything.
Eddie starts to type a response when his phone dings again. This time, Steve sends a voice message and Eddie presses play so quickly, he nearly knocks poor Bandit off his lap.
Hey, takin' a break from cornhole. I won, by the way, had to make up for losing to Brandon in the fishing bet.
Steve laughs and Eddie's stomach flips. Robin's right. He's down very, very bad for this man.
But I just uh, I miss you, and I know maybe that's sorta lame but I do. The party's great and all, but I can't wait to get back home tomorrow. Tell the kid I said hi. I love you, Ed.
He replays it a few times and shamelessly taps Keep so it doesn't disappear before sending his own voice message.
It's no more lame than me sitting here with Bandit sharing how much we miss you, so you get a pass. I mean, you get a pass on everything all the time, but don't let that go to your pretty head, okay? I'm so fucking glad you're having fun and sowing your jocky oats, but selfishly, I can't wait for you to get home. I'll make it worth your while.
He huffs air through his nose and laughs low in his throat.
Oh, and Robin's coming by in a little bit so I'm gonna grab a bottle of wine. Don't be surprised if you get a FaceTime call later. I love you too, Stevie. So goddamn much.
Eddie sure does miss Steve, but it stings a little less knowing that Steve misses him, too.
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queenimmadolla · 1 year
Text
𝐖𝐀𝐘𝐍𝐄'𝐒 𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐋𝐃
(dad!eddie x mom/pregnant!reader)
*NOT Mature, SFW — incorrectly flagged
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𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐓 𝟏 ─ 𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐓 𝟐 ─ 𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐓 𝟑 • more of the pennyverse here.
Summary: . . . After almost losing you in a scare related to your preterm labor, Eddie is reluctant to meet his newborn son, whose life still remains on the line, until some convincing from you. warnings: angst, a whole lot of angst, near death experience, difficult pregnancy, early labor, preterm birth, talk of loss of infants, birth defects, happy ending.
a/n: congrats on making it to part two! we still have quite a bit of angst to get through but we're almost through the storm! this part (even though i wrote Wayne's World as a whole) was my favorite to write, and i'm sure you'll be able to guess why. word count is 6k. good luck and happy reading! and for the people mad about the long post, sorry, had the 'keep reading' tab on but it kept fucking with the format and eating chunks of it. you're gonna have to scroll. let me know what you think? ◡̈
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Hours passed by, Penny had fallen asleep in his lap again and so had most of his friends with the exceptions of Jonathan who looked like he could really use the sleep, Eden and Wayne. Steve would snap awake every once and a while, careful not to jostle his sleeping girlfriend. Nancy was asleep on Jonathan’s shoulder while Argyle used Eden’s lap for a pillow. Barb and Robin were hanging off chairs in the most uncomfortable looking positions, Robin’s snores almost painful sounding. The ‘kids’ (teenagers) had been picked up by their parents, only agreeing to go home if they could come back to wait with him first thing in the morning. 
  Eddie didn’t rest for a single second, mind torturing him with horrible, horrible thoughts. One played in his mind on loop; he was holding Penny as he walked out of the hospital. They were on their own.
  It held him captive, he hadn’t even noticed your doctor approaching him until she gently placed a hand on his shoulder.
  “Mr. Munson?”
  Wayne and Eddie traded quick glances and he handed Penny over, trying not to disturb her too much in his rush but she just curled up to Wayne.
  Eddie stood up, already feeling lightheaded. That voice in his head that had been torturing him whispered something cruel to him, enough to make him want to cease existing: maybe you, somewhere in this hospital, already gone and he didn’t know it. Was she about to confirm his worst fears?
  “I apologize for the fright we gave you. Your wife started hemorrhaging and she lost a lot of blood.”
  Yeah. Eddie’s world was ending. It was over.
  “But we were able to stop the bleeding and get her a transfusion. She’s stable and she’s going to be just fine.”
  The relief was almost crippling, the heaviest weight he’d ever felt on him was lifted. Eddie wanted to cry, he squeezed his eyes shut again, trying to compose himself before he broke down in front of another doctor.
  “We have her in a room, probably hold her for a couple of nights, depending on her recovery. Would you like to go see her?”
  “Yeah, yes, please.” He nodded rapidly, wiping furiously at his eyes. 
  Dr. Eisenberg nodded and began walking down the hall, “If you’ll follow me.”
  Eddie turned, ready to ask Wayne to look after Penny when Wayne cut him off, “Go. I'll let ‘em all know she’s okay and send ‘em home. They probably won’t be able to see her tonight or in the mornin’, but I’ll stick around. Let me know when I can come on up.”
  Eddie wanted to hug him, but he really needed to see you. 
  “Thank you, Wayne. For everything.” Then he was scrambling after Dr. Eisenberg, who had stopped to wait for him.
  The walk to your hospital room had Eddie ready to tear his hair out, he’d wanted to just ask your doctor for your room number so he could sprint the rest of the way because her pace was much too slow. He was desperate to get to you, to make sure you were really still alive.
  “Here we are,” she stated, pushing your room door open. “Hello, again, Mrs. Munson. I brought someone who’s been waiting for you.”
  Eddie’s breath hitched as Dr. Eisenberg stepped to the side and he finally saw you, eyelids heavy from whatever sedation you were still trying to pull yourself from, and a smile on your face that only widened when you locked eyes. 
  “Hi, baby,” you slurred, sleepy little smile not going anywhere. And neither were you. 
  The rush of emotions he was experiencing was too much, he burst into tears where he stood as Dr. Eisenberg closed the door behind her on her way out. 
  “Eddie…” you mumbled out, reaching the hand lacking an IV out to him. 
  Of course you were trying to comfort him, you were the one confined to a hospital bed, having just barely survived a traumatic birth and you were still trying to comfort him because you were perfect. 
  He slowly approached your bed, hot tears—he was surprised his body could even still produce more tears given how much he’d cried in the last few hours alone—streaming down his cheek. Eddie really did collapse when he reached you, nuzzling his face into the crook of your neck.
  You wrapped your arms around him, holding him to your chest as best as you could, though you had no idea why he was crying, brain too hazy.
  Eddie didn’t sob, just silently shook as he wet your neck, inhaled your scent, felt your warm skin and pulse beating beneath his lips. He hadn’t lost you, you were still here.
  Ideally, he’d be holding you and squeezing you hard enough to ensure you’d never leave his arms again, but even in his emotional hysteria, he was mindful of your condition.
  Eddie pulled away, large hands framing your face as he pressed desperate kisses all over your face, making sure every inch was caressed with his love before he focused on your lips, mouth meshing messily against yours.
  You could taste the salt of his tears, feel a couple of stray ones catching where your lips met. While he may have been feeling a mixture of emotions, all you could feel right then was content and still a bit sleepy from the anesthesia.
  When Eddie felt he’d conveyed his love for you sufficiently, he pulled away, a wet and hoarse chuckle escaping him when he realized you could barely keep your eyes open.
  “You sleepy, baby?”
  “Mhmm.”
  “Get some rest, sweetheart,” Eddie’s thumb stroked over your bottom lip before resting over the center of it, “just, please wake up.”
  “Okay,” you mumbled, eyes already shut. Still, you managed to press a kiss to his thumb before you slipped into a blissful slumber.
  While you slept, Eddie had one of the nurses phone up the waiting room and sent Wayne. The poor man looked exhausted, but the relief on his face was evident when he saw you sleeping peacefully. 
   He looked like he wanted to cry, too. Instead, he just cleared his throat, blinked to keep the tears away and spoke low so as to not disturb you or the sleeping toddler in his arms.
  “Everythin’ alright?”
  “With her?” Eddie’s red rimmed gaze drifted back to you, focused on the rise and fall of your chest. Still breathing, “Yeah.”
  Wayne nodded once and they both stood there in silence for a few minutes as the world began to turn again. Something still wasn’t right, felt wrong. He could tell by the tension his boy still had, arms crossed as he crouched in the seat next to your bed. 
  “And the baby?”
  Eddie flinched as if Wayne had shot a gun off in the air rather than mention his son.
  “I don’t know.”
  Wayne watched him with a careful eye, Eddie looked almost like he was vibrating from the force at which his leg was shaking, even your hospital bed appeared to be affected by it, though not nearly enough to disturb you.
  As much as he wanted to comfort him, for once, Wayne didn’t know what to do. Didn’t know what to say and he had an inkling that anything that came out of his mouth wouldn’t be heard by Eddie. He was lost in the dark crevices of his own mind. 
  The most he could do was offer to give him some alone time, he was sure his boy wasn’t keen on others sticking around right now, even him. 
  “I’ll take Penny home, me and Maude’ll watch her.” 
  Eddie shook his head, a look of panic flashing over his face, “No, that’s alright. She can stay with me.”
  Wayne was reluctant, mouth set in a frown. Penny was a good girl, usually, but he didn’t know if Eddie could really handle her along with processing everything going on around him.
  “Really, we wouldn’t mind─”
  “I need her.” 
  That shut Wayne right up, he and Eddie shuffled to exchange Penny from his arms to her dad’s without waking her. She stirred momentarily then shoved her face into Eddie’s neck, her little body falling slack once more.
  Wayne gave his shoulder a good squeeze, ran his hand gently over Penny’s back before he leaned down—and in a rare show of affection—pressed a brief kiss to your forehead.
  As he was walking out of the room, Eddie felt the panic crawling down his throat again. He croaked out a broken, “Wayne─”
  Wayne paused in the doorway, turning to acknowledge Eddie but his nephew didn’t continue, just looked scared. For a moment, Wayne was caught off guard, sucking in a breath as his boy looked young for the first time in a couple of years. 
  Now, he knew you and Eddie were young. He’d been aware of it when you got together, aware of it when you told him you were pregnant with Penny but sometime after that, he stopped seeing your age, stopped seeing Eddie’s as the two of you grew up for her. Now, right then, he remembered with startling clarity that Eddie wasn’t even twenty-five. He looked so young because he was.
  Eddie didn’t have to say anything else because Wayne knew exactly what he wanted him to say.
  Wayne nodded slowly, mouth pressing into a firm line of determination, “Everything’s gonna be alright, kid.”
  Eddie choked up, held Penny a little tighter and Wayne went on his way.
  He found himself settling back into the seat he’d dragged near your bed, cradling Penny as she remained blissfully unaware and drooling on his scrub top.
  Wayne wasn’t wrong, she’d probably be a little too much for him but she was his kid, it wasn't like he could just hand her off to people when life came at him like this and he really did need her right now. Again.
  You were here and whole, but somewhere else in this hospital, a member of his little family was still slipping through his fingers. He couldn’t let the other one out of his sight, couldn’t lose her, too.
  Once more, Eddie remained restless as the hours passed. He sat in mostly silence. He’d turned on the tv near your bed, the volume high enough to drown out the sounds of the hospital outside of the room but much too low to wake you. Rain trilled against the windows, much more gentle than it had been earlier. The storm had also passed, and if there was even an ounce of humor in him, he would have been amused with how this storm seemed to fester like a black cloud looming over him. 
  It’d been a normal day up until he’d gone to Lucas’ birthday party, but he’d been skeptical about leaving you, worried something would happen. The metaphorical little black cloud formed over him, as a result, and so did the actual black clouds, quickly calling for wind and rain at high speeds. 
  And when Eddie had found out you were okay, you were alive, his black cloud disappeared, though it left behind damage and a cold atmosphere. The real storm had also run its course, leaving behind weather that reflected exactly how Eddie felt.
  Penny squirmed in his grasp, and he realized he’d tensed up so he quickly relaxed, shifting her into a more comfortable position in his hold. 
  “Why don’t you give her to me?”
  Eddie’s head snapped over to you, surprised to find you awake, somewhat lucid and watching him with a small smile on your face.
  “Because you just had your insides removed and put back in,” He smirked, another wave of relief washing over him. You’d woken up, you really were okay. You weren’t going to leave him.
  You rolled your eyes, making a vague hand gesture to brush the subject off, clearly the surgeons hadn’t removed your sass.
  “She’s tiny and there’s more than enough room on here for both of us.” You hissed as you slowly shimmied your way to the side of the bed and Eddie frowned.
  “Okay, how about you don’t move so we can limit the amount of heart attacks you give me today, yeah?” You knew Eddie must have been worried so you didn’t take the lack of humor behind his words and the tension on his face personally. 
  A quick glance at the clock confirmed your suspicions, “It’s three in the morning, Eddie. New day, but I’ll keep my antics to a minimum.”
  Insistently, you patted the spot next to you, perfectly Penny sized and high enough to guarantee she wouldn’t accidentally move against your incision.
  With a sigh, Eddie complied, gathering his daughter up. Tensing up disturbed her but full on moving her didn’t, most likely used to being carried into your home after she’d fallen asleep in her car seat or on the couch.
  She didn’t stir when he laid her down, either. You both had to rearrange her limbs into a more comfortable position, one that didn’t make it look like she was possessed. Once Eddie tucked her in, he let out another sigh and cast you an apologetic look, big brown eyes wide, glassy and full of sorrow.
  “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to snap at you.” It was the last thing you deserved after what you’d gone through.
  The sincerity in his voice almost hurt you, it was heavy, as though it carried more weight than just a simple apology for his tone. 
  You held out your hand and Eddie immediately slipped his over it, locking his fingers with yours, squeezing as his breath hitched. 
  Your hand was so warm and soft. At one point in the last twenty-four hours, he’d thought he’d never get to feel it again, never get to hold your hand or see your pretty face. Never get to say…
  “I love you,” he blurted out, the panic he’d felt earlier when he couldn’t remember the last time he’d said those three words to you climbed right out of his belly, trying to claw its way out of his chest. Eddie took in a shuddering breath, head shaking as a hot tear escaped its confinement, trailing down his cheek. He moved to the other side of the hospital bed, so he wouldn’t crush Penny, and took your face in his hands, pressing a passionate kiss to your lips, hoping he was able to convey just how much he loved you.
  He needed you to know.
  “Eddie,” you mumbled as he pulled away, only to hide himself in the crook of your neck again. You could feel his tears against your skin and it alarmed you. “I love you, too, baby. What’s wrong?”
  “I thought I was going to lose you,” he confessed and you felt your heart seize up, “I thought I was gonna lose you twice in the same damn day. I was so fucking scared, sweetheart.” 
  When he’d been driving to the hospital, there had been a moment when he wondered if you’d still be breathing when he got there. It made him want to throw up so he quickly squashed it and forced it to the back of his head. It hadn’t been ideal when he’d entered the operation room, he didn’t like seeing you get cut open but it was comforting to see he’d overreacted. You were getting a c-section, you weren’t on your deathbed.
  Until you had been. 
  And for the second time that day, he thought you were going to die, thought he’d somehow cruelly manifested this for you and himself.
  “I’m alright, Eddie.” You freed your hand, grabbing his to cradle your cheek with. 
  “See? I’m okay. You didn’t lose me, you’re not going to.” Eddie pulls away from his hiding spot to stare down at you, the wounded puppy look still firmly in place so you add a little humor, hoping to get a smile out of him, “There’s no way I’m checking out this early, I can’t risk you moving on when you look this good.”
  Eddie’s hand was so big his fingers were tucked into your hair, his palm alone took up most of your cheek. His fingertips lightly massaged the area of your scalp available to him as the hurt on his face morphed into an earnest look, somehow more vulnerable.
  “There’s no moving on from you, you’re taking my soul, my heart, all of it with you when you go. You’re the love of my life, my everything. And that—fuck, it terrifies me because I’d still have Penny to take care of and I wouldn’t know what to do. I wouldn’t know how to pull myself out of it, if it’d even be possible and quite frankly, I don’t ever want to fucking find out.”
  Eddie was more than happy to have those types of questions remain unanswered for the rest of his life.
  “You’d be able to do it, I know you would. You would be able to take care of Penny and the baby.” You knew he would, your husband would pull himself out of his depression to make sure your children were okay because of how much he loved them, despite his grief.
  Eddie flinched, something you were quick to clock. You didn’t need to ask, he could see the question reflecting in those beautiful eyes of yours. 
  He had to break the news. You were already in a frail condition and he had to tell you the baby you’d almost died to have, your son, might still die.
  “Honey, the baby—he—fuck, he’s uh…there’s something wrong with his heart.”
  The way your face plummeted shattered something inside of him. 
  “What?”
  “He’s got a hole in his heart, the doctor said it was pretty common amongst heart defects but since he was born so early, it’d be difficult to medicate him or perform an operation. All they can do is keep him under observation, he still might not make it because of how young he is.”
  You squeezed your eyes shut, head dropping back to meet your pillow as you tried, and failed, not to cry. Why was this happening? You blamed yourself, why hadn’t you been able to keep him in your belly? Why had your own body betrayed you? Why had you failed your baby?
  “This is all my fault,” you declared, eyes and cheeks growing wet with your tears.
  “No, no, sweetheart.” Eddie was not about to let you take the blame for something out of your control or even allow you to believe any of this was your fault. “You can’t possibly believe this is on you. These things happen, it obviously isn’t ideal, but it’s just circumstance. It’s not your fault and it’s not the baby’s fault. You did everything you could and more. Okay?”
  He leaned in, finger stroking gently across your cheekbone as he caught a tear. You sniffled, nodding once as he pulled you back together.
  “What does he look like?” You asked, snuggling back into the pillow as Eddie coddled you.
  He hesitated for a moment before he answered, “I—I don’t know.”
  That elicited a small frown from you, “You haven’t seen him yet?”
  Eddie swallowed hard, gaze moving away from you, “No.”
  You waited, watching a series of emotions pass over his features. Eddie often tried to keep his internal struggles to himself, a habit you noticed once you became friends with him (ironically, through some trauma bonding) and even into your relationship. You hadn’t expected him to confide everything in you right away, though you had let him know should he ever need someone to talk to, you’d be there.
  Now, it wasn’t a matter of if he would, it was when. It didn’t take him long. 
  “I don’t know—I guess,” he pursed his lips, eyes squeezing shut as he felt the all too familiar burn of fresh tears. How many times had he cried in the last twenty-four hours? He felt ridiculous to be so emotional, then again, he’d never thought he’d find himself in this tragic situation, so he was due for a couple of breakdowns, “I know if I go down there and I—I look at him, I’m gonna fall in love with him and then what? He dies. I can’t do that, not if I’m gonna lose him forever. I can’t.”
  Eddie was leaking tears, not yet sobbing but well on his way as he made his confession. He couldn’t stomach seeing his baby boy if he was going to be taken away from him, if the two of you would have to put a tiny little coffin—a size that should never have to exist—six feet into the ground. He’d been put through the fucking ringer but Eddie couldn’t do that. It would break him.
  Eddie’s confession had you crying as well, you shared his pain. You didn’t want to lose your baby, either. You couldn’t remember what he looked like through the haze of your fatigue when you’d given birth to him, but if you tried to think hard enough, you could remember how it felt to have him in your arms in the passenger seat of Wayne’s truck. The first time you’d held him and you hoped it wouldn’t be the last. 
  Even if it was, you were grateful you’d had the chance to and you knew Eddie would never forgive himself if he didn’t get to see him, didn’t get to meet him.
  “I know you’re terrified, Eds. It scares me, too.” You grabbed his hand just as it slipped away from your face, encouraging him to look at you. “I don’t want to lose him, either. I want to take him home. I want to cuddle with him, nurse him, take tons of pictures of him with Penny and with you, but most of all, I want to make sure he knows I love him.”
  It killed you to imagine your baby in an incubator, small, helpless and with no one but the nurses, who could make the time to check on him in between all their other patients, offering him comfort. Human contact. And if he did end up passing, he could do so alone in there, not knowing how loved he was. 
  “I know you love him, Eddie, and you don’t want to lose him. But you can’t lose him if you don’t have him, baby. I hate that this is even a possibility for us, but I’d rather have held him and lost him than to never have picked him up at all. I’ll be okay with whatever you decide, but do you really want him to die without having gotten to meet his dad?”
  Eddie let out a choked sob as he shook his head. He didn’t want his baby to die at all but you were right, if he did lose his kid, he’d spend the rest of his life agonizing over the same thing Eddie had been upset with himself for when he thought he’d lose you. He’d been unable to recall the last time he told you he loved you. Only, he’d know he never told his son. 
  “I’ll be right back,” he swore and you nodded just as he leaned down to give you a kiss. He wiped away his tears, inhaled a particularly violent sniffle and you watched as he left your room to finally meet his baby.
  Eddie felt almost disorientated as he navigated his way to the NICU. He’d been there once, briefly, to check on Penny when she’d been there for a few hours, but that was a couple of years ago and he’d needed the assistance of several nurses and staff to direct him, but he finally made it.
  The entrance room, where the viewing window was located, was nearly empty. There was a woman further down, gazing through the large window.
  Eddie approached it with caution and his heart racing a mile a minute. It wasn’t too difficult to find his baby. His son was in an incubator, close to the window and labeled ‘MUNSON’. For the first time, Eddie got to take his son in. He had been right, he fell in love with him at first sight.
  He was smaller than some of the other babies, bigger than others as well and surprisingly well developed. Kind of calmed Eddie’s nerves, just a little. He had a couple of monitor pads attached to his tummy with an additional one wrapped around his tiny foot. Other than the nasal cannula, baby Munson didn’t have a whole lot of tubes attached to him like Eddie had imagined and he could see a smattering of hair on his head, somewhat light in shade but he had a feeling it would darken soon to resemble his own. 
  It was hard to tell if Wayne and Penny were right in their description of him, Eddie couldn’t tell if he was still pale since the baby was cloaked in blue light, but he assumed his son had gained some color by then. Eddie also couldn’t make out his eyes, those were covered by some sort of eye cloth, most likely for protection. He looked a little odd, obviously resembled a baby and while his features were almost indistinguishable, appearing a little generic, as his face still needed to develop a little more, Eddie could see hints of familiar features. 
  He looked like newborn Penny, well, so far. Her features had obviously changed since then, and still were, but he was promising to look almost exactly like she had when she was born. And Eddie thought Penny looked a lot like you, so it got a smile out of him, regardless of the fact his son was bound to resemble his family.
  Eddie watched the rapid rise and fall of his chest with concern. Was he supposed to be breathing that fast? Was he okay? 
  “Which one is yours?”
  Eddie turned to peer over at the woman who’d asked him the question, “Munson.”
  Eddie watched as her gaze moved over all the incubators until they found the correct one.
  “Oh, he’s a cute one. And his breathing looks incredible.”
  “Really? It’s not too fast?” He asked, the worry in his voice obvious.
  “Considering it’s his first time pumping those lungs, I don’t think so, no. Looks like he’s breathing real good to me. Mine needs a little help.” She pointed through the glass to an incubator that housed a baby with a tube in its mouth as well as individual ones in each nostril unlike his son’s nasal cannula. Eddie felt horrible.
  “I’m sorry,” he tried to apologize but she waved him off, a smile still on her face. 
  “Don’t be, that’s all mine is here for. As soon as she figures out how to keep doing it on her own, she’ll be back with me and my wife.”
  Right on, Eddie thought. Before he could continue their conversation, a nurse knocked on the window.
  She gestured down to the baby, “Is he yours?”
  Wow, this glass must have been thin, he could hear her pretty good.
  For some reason, Eddie still assumed she couldn’t hear him and only nodded. She disappeared for a minute and emerged into the room through a large pair of doors. 
  “Would you like to hold him?”
  Eddie glanced at the other occupant and she gave him a nod of encouragement. 
  “Yeah,” he rasped out, turning to look at his son through the window once more, “Yeah, I would.”
  Eddie was nervous the entire time as she prepped him with instructions. While they were concerned about the hole in his son’s heart, he was well developed, had strong vitals, good reactions, even for thirty weeks. He was so good that had it not been for his heart, he probably would have been sent home at the same time as you, given your longer than average stay due to your c-section and preeclampsia.
  And when she placed him in his arms, the love he had for his son almost overwhelmed him. He couldn’t believe he almost denied himself this. 
  “Can I touch him?” He asked, after he’d stopped marveling at the small face—eyes still hidden—in his arms. 
  “Mhm, we’d encourage it. Babies, even born preterm, are still very much so human. He craves the contact, it might even encourage him.” 
  Eddie didn’t hesitate, fingers gently stroking over the soft fluff of hair on his son’s head. This close, he could see it all pushed towards the middle of his head, like a mohawk. His baby was already metal straight out of your womb, it made him chuckle. 
  The nurse stepped away to tend to another baby, giving him a little privacy. Eddie maneuvered his son so he was resting on his chest, little head pressed against the spot just over his heart.
  “Hi,” he whispered down to the baby in his arms, “I’m your dad.”
  Much to Eddie’s awe, the baby nuzzled his head against his chest, making him still. He didn’t know why, but he’d believed his son wouldn’t be able to move for some reason. It was nice to know he was wrong.
  “It’s nice to finally meet you, too,” he laughed, the sound soft, “I’ve been looking forward to it, you must have, too. You sure know how to make an entrance, huh? Couldn’t wait in your mom any longer?”
  Eddie ducked down to kiss his little head, lips remaining there as he moved to sit in one of the few chairs of the NICU. 
  “It’s okay, though. I’ve got you, daddy’s got you.” Even if the outcome wasn’t okay, right at that moment with his son in his arms, everything felt like it would be. And if his son needed encouragement, Eddie would give it to him. 
  “I’m sorry it took me so long to come find you, your mom had to talk some sense into me. She loves you a lot, you know? Probably jealous I’m down here and she isn’t, but only because she physically can’t just yet.”
  Eddie’s hand went to support the back of his head as he moved the baby down to hold in his hands, staring down at his little face. 
  “I’ll bring her down to see you again as soon as I can, though. So you gotta keep fighting, okay? I know things are hard for you right now, not as easy as the other babies in the hospital, but I know you can do it. I love you so much, your mom and I just want to take you home, so you gotta beat this, okay?”
  Eddie rocked his baby, gentle swaying motions as he pressed kiss after kiss to his head. 
  “I see you’ve made it down for a visit,”
  Eddie glanced up at the face of Dr. Houseman, she didn’t look as intimidating as she had when she’d first approached him in the waiting room.
  “Sorry to disturb you, but I’m very glad I caught you. I heard your wife is doing well.”
  “She is,” he confirmed, with a relieved grin. 
  “Good, I’m glad. Have you been given an update on your little guy?”
  Eddie recounted what the nurse had told him and Dr. Houseman looked pleased.
  “Well, I have more news for you. He’s proving to be much stronger than we’d initially anticipated, and while his vitals were already good on intake, they’ve improved tremendously in the last few hours and so have his responses. I think he’s figuring out what he’s capable of doing; how to breathe, how to move, how to eat—we introduced him to a rubber nipple to check his latch response and it’s good, not quite there yet, we’ll have to get creative with his feedings but I think he’ll be able to latch onto his mom soon.”
  She must have caught the way Eddie perked up at her use of the word soon. That meant his baby had a fighting chance.
  “These first few hours after a birth such as his and with his condition are crucial. While he’s still significantly weaker than an average full term newborn, your baby seems to be a fighter.  Should he survive this next night, I believe he’ll make it. He’d just need some time in here while the hole closes up, but it just might not be too much for him.”
  She left him with that news and a parting smile.
  Eddie held his son for a few more minutes before a nurse returned to put him back in his incubator. He hadn’t wanted to leave him, but he’d promised him he’d be back.
  When Eddie got back to the room, his heart was a little lighter and he was able to smile when he saw you giving Penny, who was now wide awake, kisses. He pressed his back up against the door and watched for a few moments as you leaned in and gave her a loud kiss. She’d go into a fit of giggles before demanding another with an again!
  “Daddy!” Penny beamed the moment she saw him and Eddie grinned as he made his way over, lifting her into his arms when she held hers up to him.
  “Hi, pretty one. You sleep good?” 
  “Uh-huh,” it was clear she was distracted and didn’t care about his questions, no, she had some of her own. “You see my baby?”
  Eddie raised an eyebrow, trading an amused look with you.
  “Oh, he’s your baby now?”
  “Ya, he’s—he’s my baby.” She nodded with a grin as she wrapped her arms around his neck, and he leaned down to press his forehead to hers.
  “Well, then yes. I saw your baby,” he chuckled, pressing a kiss to her nose.
  “Wha’helooklike?” Penny blurted out, eyes wide as she waited for his reply. 
  “He looked a lot like you.” 
  “Nooooooo,” Penny laughed, shaking her head against her dad’s, “He is my potatoes, not anoda Penny.”
  “It’s true!” Eddie laughed with her as he put her back down by your side and leaned in to give you yet another—he’d never stop giving them to you—kiss.
  “He looks like her?” You asked, after you’d returned his kiss.
  “Mhm,” Eddie fell back into the seat he’d occupied hours earlier. “Looks like she did when she was a newborn. He’s not pale—like a potato,” he directed that part to Penny who just laughed into her little hands, “anymore, at least. I don’t know whose eyes he has, they were covered.”
  Eddie was right about you being jealous, you were practically green with it. 
  “I wish I could see him,” you stated sadly, frown on your lips. You knew, realistically, if he started to decline, they’d most likely let you out of bed to see him or bring him up to you, but still. You’d rather it not come to that.
  “Ran into his doctor while I was there, she said he’s got a better chance.”
  Your eyes lit up, “Really?”
  “I was just about ready to kiss her.” He nodded and you made a face, nose doing that adorable scrunch he loved so much.
  “Okay, well, don’t do that.”
  Eddie snickered, “It was a figure of speech, baby.”
  “I know, I’m just saying it on her behalf,”
  “On her behalf?” Eddie pouted, eyebrows pulled together in confusion.
  “Yeah, I want to kiss her, too, but—uhm, Eds, you might need some sleep ‘cause—you’re hot, you really are, but you also look insane right now.”
  Eddie got up to make his way to the bathroom so he could see himself in the mirror, nearly jumping once he’d turned on the lights.
  His eyes were beyond bloodshot, his eye bags were dark and very apparent, his skin had an interesting almost gray like tinge to it and his hair was a wreck. Eddie looked like he belonged in a psych ward.
  “Jesus,” he shouted loud enough to be heard by you.
  “It’s okay, Eds. You’re still beautiful to me!”
  Eddie did end up sleeping. Turns out the chair he’d been sitting on was also a pull out bed. You insisted that he get some rest, and while he did, you changed Penny’s diaper and got some hospital room service for the two of you, you’d even picked something out on the menu for Eddie to eat once he woke up. 
3K notes · View notes
pinkeoni · 10 months
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Noticed a tiny detail I never noticed before in season one that could possibly be Upside Down related— Carol’s “frostbite” on her ankle.
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Carol says that she has frostbite on her ankle (and puts it ON THE TABLE like an insane person) but Steve (or Tommy?) tell her that it’s a heated pool so there’s no way that this could be frostbite.
And remember, this is the same pool that Barb was pulled into the Upside Down from. Could there have been the start at a small gate at the bottom? Maybe some kind of alternate-dimension goop that got on Carol’s ankle?
And maybe Carol thought it was frostbite because it felt cold? Like “he likes it cold” cold?
So I don’t know exactly what from the Upside Down would have given Carol that, but given that this conversation leads directly into Nancy asking about Barb, I wouldn’t be surprised if it was connected.
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morganbritton132 · 9 months
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David knows who Dustin is as soon as he walks into the gym for Career Day. Mainly because there’s a picture on Steve’s desk of him but also because the two of them are bickering with each other. Real sibling behavior.
When he gets closer, he hears that they’re bickering about batteries. Apparently it’s always the goddamn batteries.
David is noticed almost immediately and gives a little wave before asking if there’s anything he can help with. Steve pulls him in and then snaps his fingers at Dustin specifically because it annoys him, “Dustin, this my friend, David. Be nice to him and he might find a place for your lizard -“
“It’s an iguana.”
“-while I figure out what the hell is going on over there…. Mrs Bennett, can I help you?”
Dustin goes back to untangling a bunch of wires when Steve leaves so David awkwardly throws out, “I could tell you guys were brothers. You look alike.”
“We look alike?” Dustin says slowly, amused. When David just nods, he adds, “Steve’s adopted.”
“I’m not adopted!” Steve calls from three booths down.
“You could’ve been!”
“I still think you look alike,” David says, deciding to double down on that thought even if it’s not true. They look passable related, maybe. “So, uh. Pretty cool that Eddie came to help you set up. I know he’s - Steve’s mentioned that he’s busy with his….”
David hesitates just enough to acknowledge he doesn’t know what Eddie does only that it sometimes involves a red carpet, “….his movies.”
“Movies?” Dustin says in a tone that clearly says David guessed wrong. He turns around in Steve’s direction and asks loudly, “This guy is supposed to be you friend??”
David thinks to himself, Eddie must work in tv then.
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supernovafics · 3 months
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𝐂𝐋𝐎𝐒𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐓𝐈𝐌𝐄
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"i'll be there for you" universe masterlist
pairing: bestfriend!roommate!steve harrington x fem!reader
word count: 1.2k words
warnings: explicit language
summary: in which you join steve during his family video shift and help him study for a test
author's note: nothing much to say about this one. short and sweet<33
general note: everything in this universe/series can be read as standalone oneshots but to understand the full “lore” it would prob be best to read the other stuff too<333
.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.
Winter 1986
“Can I have some help?”
You looked up from your notebook to see a guy standing a few feet in front of you with a small frown on his face. Your head shake in response to his question was immediate. “Oh, no, I don’t work here.”
His frown seemed to only deepen. “But, you’re sitting behind the counter.”
“Yeah, that probably makes things confusing, but I don’t work here,” You responded with a small laugh. You took a brief look at Steve, who was stocking tapes in one of the aisles. “I’m just here to help a friend and make sure he doesn’t fail out of his first ever college classes. Big English test tomorrow. The first one of the semester, actually.”
The guy rolled his eyes at your unnecessarily long explanation and then walked off, and your attention turned back to your notebook and you continued writing notes, or more so rewriting notes, for Steve. 
When he finished stocking shelves, he walked over to you, leaning on the counter and looking down at what you were doing. You ripped out the pages you had been working on for the past hour and slid them over to him. “Okay, I have compiled all of the shit that you’ll need to know for the test tomorrow on these two pages, front and back. Enjoy.” 
Steve gave you a small smile. “You didn’t have to do that.” 
“I know, but it was actually pretty easy since you’re taking the class with the same Professor I had last semester; I mainly just redid the notes that I had for that first test. And it only took me like an hour.”
“Thanks, but shouldn’t you be worrying more about your test tomorrow?”
You shrugged. “I just have to give a presentation on the rise of radio for my communications class, and I’ve been preparing for the last couple days. I’ll be fine.”
Steve nodded at that and started looking at the notes you gave to him. You moved from behind the counter and went over to the comedy section and started to look through the shelves.
“Oh, also, can I get a vest and a nametag? Everyone already thinks I work here, anyway.” 
“No,” Steve responded almost immediately, which made you laugh. After a second, he walked over to you, papers still in hand. “Surprisingly, I actually remember most of this stuff.” 
You smiled at that. “Glad to know you’ve been paying attention in class.” You then showed him the movie you had just pulled off of the shelf. “Thoughts on this for tonight?”
Steve looked at the title for a second before answering. “The person that returned it yesterday said it was shit.”
“Okay, so that’s a no,” You said as you put the tape back in its spot. “Anyway, though, it's good that you remember a lot of stuff already, so when I quiz you on everything later, it’ll be fast.”
He shook his head. “You’re being way too nice to me right now.” 
“You told me that you actually wanted to care about your classes and do well in them, so of course I’m gonna help you do that.” 
You could’ve gone further into that conversation that you two had a few days before the beginning of the semester, but you didn’t feel the need to fully repeat it aloud right then. Steve had talked to you about wanting to figure out his life, finding what he wanted to do long-term that wasn’t Family Video related, and maybe going to school part-time and taking a few classes would help with that. It wasn’t about his parents, it wasn’t really even about you. It was about him and you admired that, and you also wanted to help him figure everything out. Maybe it could help you figure out all of your shit too. 
“Also, if you dropped out after this semester it would actually be devastating to know that our first time ever going to the same school only lasted four and a half months.”
Steve laughed a bit. “I’m not gonna drop out.”
“And I’m completely holding you to that.” 
You went back to searching for a movie for later, and after what felt like forever you settled on something that sounded good enough. 
Things became pretty quiet for the rest of the night, so you were able to quiz Steve on the notes a couple times, and then you focused on the reading you had to do for the Film and TV history class that he suggested you two take together. Your collective eleven o’clock on Tuesdays and Thursdays mainly consisted of you two playing tic-tac-toe with one another in the margins of Steve’s notebook or writing stupid notes back and forth, and still paying some attention to the lectures that were actually pretty interesting. Aside from Steve being in the class, you really enjoyed it for the most part. 
“This article was actually pretty good,” You said. The clock finally hit eleven and Steve went over to the front door to turn the Open sign to Closed. “I think you’ll like it.” 
“What’s it about again?”
“Silent films,” You answered as you started putting all of your stuff in your bag. You then picked up the movie you grabbed earlier and went over to one of the computers, looking up the name of it and changing it from in stock to checked out. “Since I know how to do this, I think I definitely deserve a vest and nametag.” 
“I would say that’s true, but you only do that for yourself, not for any customers,” He responded with a laugh.
“In a way, I am a customer.”
“Paying customers.” 
“I use the “best friend of an employee” discount, which is a hundred percent off,” You said, smiling at him, and then smiling even more when he rolled his eyes at you. 
“What movie did you end up choosing, anyway?”
You held up the tape in your hand, Weird Science. “Now I’m thinking that I should’ve chosen a silent film to honor our history class.” 
“I’m really glad you didn’t,” Steve responded before stepping out from behind the counter. You slung your bag over your shoulder and followed him to the front. 
“Once you read the article, you’ll wish that I picked one of Buster Keaton’s greatest hits,” You said as you flicked off the lights before you two walked out the door. 
Steve locked it and then looked at you. “I truly doubt that.” 
You only overdramatically sighed and shook your head at him in response as you got in his car, tossing your bag into the backseat. You fiddled with the radio for pretty much the entirety of the fifteen minute drive to the apartment, and you held back your laughter at Steve’s playful groans in frustration at your antics. 
When you two stepped into the small space that was your shared home, you changed into your pajamas for the night before settling on the couch, and you quizzed Steve one more time for his test. And then he made you run through your presentation for your class tomorrow because he felt bad about you only helping him study. 
The time was nearing midnight when Steve warmed up some of the leftover pizza from the night before as you started the movie. You two fell asleep barely thirty minutes in, your head on his shoulder and a blanket draped over both of your legs that were stretched out on the coffee table.
.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.
let me know ur thoughts<333
(requests are open for stuff you wanna see in the universe/series!🫶🏾)
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jen-with-a-pen · 3 months
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Dancing in the Kitchen
summary: After the worst night imaginable, your best friend helps you when you need him most. What you don't realize is just how much you've always needed him. or: Tony Dumps you. Steve picks you up and puts you back together.
parings: protective!best friend!Steve Rogers x best friend!f!Reader
word count: 4.9k
warnings: fluff, angst, self-doubt and insecurity, verbally abusive relationship elements, insults + language/name calling, reader cusses and so does Steve bc he can, no smut!, wearing Steve's clothes (very little to no description about reader's body so do with that what you will), intense feelings, confessions, crying, anxiety, best friends to lovers, intimate touch, VERY SLIGHT possessiveness, protectiveness, not Tony Stark friendly, cap quartet mention
a/n: these characters are out of college! It's set in their early-mid 20s following graduating and I thought it'd be a little more relatable (also since I'm not in college anymore I wanted this specific fic concept to be more relatable. self-indulgence and stuff). the cap quartet rent a house together. there might be more shenanigans in the future involving them. maybe. who knows? enjoy <3
If I've missed any tags, please let me know!
gif by @annislittleshopofhorrors | dividers by @saradika-graphics | warning banner by me ♥
my ao3 | my masterlist Read this fic HERE on ao3! ♥Reblogs and comments are highly appreciated as always♥
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Everything was cold. 
Everything was ruined.
Everything was a fucking nightmare.
Dark clouds shrouded the night sky, hiding helpful moonlight. Rain pelted at you from above, mixing with fresh tears, drenching you to the bone as cold water collected on your skin and soaked through your dress. Your hands morphed into balled fists at your sides as you shook with rage, heartbreak, and the innate need to punch something.
You couldn’t wrap your pounding head around the events of the night; everything blurred together after ten o’clock. It was like a cruel joke, one where you waited an eternity for the punchline, begging for it not to be real no matter how hard you screwed your eyes shut and prayed. 
You didn’t want to believe it, yet there you were.
It sure as hell wasn’t the first time you found yourself standing at the backdoor of Steve Roger’s house on the cusp of a breakdown– and a breakup– warring with your own body to simply knock on the fucking door. Hell, Steve was already expecting you. He knew something was wrong the second you called; there wasn’t a warning text, just you, asking in a choked-up whisper if he was home. His response spilled out in a rushed ‘yes’ before you could explain further. A ‘no questions asked’ request, something not uncommon in your friendship. Steve, since day one, was one of your main sources of comfort within a thousand mile radius. 
Now, he was your only source of comfort within a thousand mile radius. 
Remnants of the phone call from Tony only minutes earlier echoed in your eardrums like a bad case of tinnitus. Annoying, repetitive. His hoarse, drunken slurry of vicious words clawed at the inside of your skull. Another fight. Another screaming match. Another forgotten birthday– this time, it included meeting your family. You’d planned it for months prior, making sure Tony knew not to forget it.
Your insides were twisting in knots as you waited at the restaurant awkwardly with your parents, brother, and an empty seat next to you. After an hour, eight failed calls and fifteen texts later, Tony finally picked up. Delight revived the few butterflies left in your stomach, only to be crushed, turning them into weighted dread as loud club music obliterated your ear drum as he shouted at you. 
“You bitch!” he spat. “Why the ever-loving f-fuck are y’blowin’ up my phone for?!”
You didn’t have time to process what he was saying before he’d already reloaded and shot you with more.
“What the hell is sooooo important? Huh? Y-you stupid bitch! You fuckin’ knew I’m busy t’night!”
You tore the phone away. Even at arm’s length, you, and the rest of your family, could hear every single thing he spewed at you. A couple from the table next to yours stopped mid-bite to turn and throw rude looks at you and your family.
“Tony, please, I–” 
“‘Tony please’– just shut up!” he mocked. “Just shut the fuck up! I don’t fuckin’ care what you gotta– what you have t’say! I can’t f–fuckin’ stand you anymore!”
Hurt and hunger morphed into churning waves of anxiety and embarrassment. Your throat was closing. Tears began stinging your eyes. You looked between your parents in shame, meeting their stunned looks filled with pity and disappointment. Your brother refused to look anywhere but the spot on his plate where he played with his food, sadness and second-hand embarrassment plaguing his face.
Yelling, jeering, and chanting echoed out of your phone. Tony didn’t stop. 
“Y’know what? I’m not doin’ this anymore,” he slurred, gulping some unknown liquid down, swallowing, gagging. More cheering. “We– we’re fuckin’ done. You’re out. I’m done.”
The other line fumbled. You winced as you heard Tony wet his lips, preparing the final blow. His breathing became heavy, ragged, hard enough you could smell the liquor through the phone.
“Fuckin’ cunt.” 
Click.
You loathed yourself for tolerating him; the endless cycle of poisoning you, providing the antidote, and taking it away when it seemed to get better. The whiplash from his unpredictable moods and personal attacks on you hurt as bad as it felt when he’d come around with endless apologies– accompanied by flowers, cuddles, and kisses– to heal each wound he was responsible for. 
This time, though, the stab was fatal. This time, you bled out; it’d been akin to getting gutted and hung helplessly in front of your fucking family. 
A sob snuck its way up your throat. You choked it down, willing your fist to reach up and knock on the door. You didn’t understand why this was next to impossible. Steve was your best friend. It wasn’t like he was a stranger. It wasn’t like he’d chastise you or yell at you or tell you to fuck off. Yet, there was a fear, deep down, feeding on the anxiety and self-doubt in the pit of your stomach, telling you the opposite; it whispered to you, telling you to run back to your car, scream into the steering wheel, and speed off to disappear from everything and everyone for just a little longer. It’d only be until you got your head on straight, until you figured out what to do with the apartment and your classes and your stuff and–
Knock. knock. knock.
In the blur of a million thoughts racing through your mind, you automatically reached up and weakly knocked, body tensing every muscle as you waited.
The door swung open, revealing one extremely concerned Steve Rogers.
Steve panted, a result from sprinting down the stairs from his upstairs bedroom in an attempt to open the back door by your first knock. Acutely aware of his jaw hanging from its hinges, Steve’s soft baby blues bore into you, scanning you up and down, stunned at you and your dress and how desperate you looked. 
Time stopped the second you saw him; it was difficult to describe, but everything magnetizing between the two of you was different. You felt different– different in the way he was familiar and somehow new at the same time. Steve felt different– different in the way you were single for the first time in two years and he was single since… forever ago.
This time was unlike the million other times.
You both stared. Your lips quivered, his parted in disbelief. Both your minds instantly went blank, unable to think of anything to say, to do. So, the sky thought for you. It opened its floodgates, releasing a torrential downpour as you stood inches from warmth, from comfort.
“Steve,” you croaked, reaching for him. 
It was then, everything came crashing down. 
You crumbled to the ground in a heap, knees buckling while your hand and arms braced for impact with the ground. Steve quickly abandoned his tight grip on the doorframe, catching you, helping you inside. Lungs gasped for air as heavy sobs poured from your chest and tears flowed steadily down your face. You pawed at Steve’s arm hooked around you as he stumbled back into the house, kicking the door closed and collapsing onto the kitchen floor with you in tow. He immediately pulled you closer and hugged you tightly against his chest. You heaved, crying out from the painful pit in your heart, digging your fingers into his flesh, hard enough to bruise. You buried your face into his t-shirt and bawled.
All of it– the rage, the hurt, the mess of balled-up emotions from the last two fucking years– came unraveled. Hands twisted into Steve’s t-shirt, balling the fabric and pulling it taut enough to rip. 
Steve didn’t shout. He didn’t complain. He didn’t utter a single word as he leaned against the kitchen cabinets, rocking you gently, squeezing you harder as his chest rose and fell rhythmically against your pounding skull, silently coaxing you to follow his breathing. Blubbering in his lap, stringing words together became futile as thoughts became unrecognizable. Another wave of panic and anxiety crashed over you. Steve’s mumbled shushes softened you; the deep timbre and honeyed bass of his voice and vibrations in his chest grounded you, welcoming you to safety. To home. 
“Shh… don’t worry, I got you. I have you. You’re okay,” he muttered, running a hand gently up and down your back.
“I–he–bu–” you fumbled, lip quivering as another sob overtook you. Rage clawed at the walls in the chasm of your chest. You screamed. Guttural, pained. Again. And again.
“Shh… it’s okay, let it out. You’re okay. You’re safe here,” he soothed, rocking you, adding in a lowered octave, “I’m here.”
“T–Tony,” you hiccuped, fists twisting more of Steve’s t-shirt. “He–he–”
“What, angel? What about Tony?” 
“He–he c–called me n–names a–and,” you shook your head violently, “he b-broke up with me. For real, this time.”
Steve cupped your cheek, softly wiping away fresh tears with calloused fingertips. While you continued to cry in his arms, his focus turned to the back door you tumbled through. Inside, he seethed; his rage nearly boiled over at the thought of anyone doing this to you, let alone Tony fucking Stark. Out of all the things you’d told him over the last couple years– all the threats, the cruel jokes and abandonment and insults– tonight was the ultimate cherry on top. It validated every time Tony’s actions made Steve think vengeful thoughts on what he’d do if he ever got five minutes with the douchebag. Just five minutes. Alone. 
He shook the thought away, looking back down to you. The last thing he wanted was for you to see him upset, let alone remotely think you were the cause of it. He’d promised himself that the first time you met.
Tony was going to fucking pay for what he’d done to you every single second for the last two years. And on your birthday, for chrissake. 
“What–” Steve swallowed the excess rage in his chest. “What kind of names, sweetie?”
You softened, sniffling, refusing to look at him. “He called me a b–bitch, a–and,” you bit your tongue, “a… cunt.”
The moment the word left your lips, Steve fought every last nerve in him not to put you to bed, get in his car, and go teach Tony a lesson on some fucking manners. Hell, even the idea of taking Bucky and Sam crossed his mind. 
He pushed the thought away, focusing back on you. You needed him. You came to him for help. No one else but him. 
Steve slid his hand off your back and placed it under your chin, thumb and forefinger gently coaxing you to look at him. Big blue eyes swam with concern and worry. In the dark of the kitchen, they seemed brighter than ever– a beacon guiding you back from the hurricane in your head.
In an instant, everything in your head went quiet. No more muffled echoes from the phone call. No more sobs readying to burst out your chest. No more caring about how swollen and puffy your eyes were, or the drying combination of mascara and tear stains running down your cheeks and neck. Your sopping wet dress that drenched the floor, and Steve, was pushed to the back of your brain, the cold no longer leaking into your bones as he brought you back down from the ledge.
All you saw was Steve. All you smelled, all you could feel, was Steve. 
Steve swallowed. His jaw slacked, tongue jutting out to wet his lips, slowly drinking you in for as long as he was able. 
And honestly? You couldn’t care enough to stop him. It’d been so long since someone looked at you the way Steve did.
Had he always looked at you like that?
“Listen to me. You are none of those things. Not even close,” he whispered, hoping you believed him. 
You nodded lightly. “I–I know, but it hurts,” your voice cracked again, eyes drifting away from him. 
“Hey, look at me,” he tugged at your chin, “you will never be anything like he says you are. Ever. Okay?”
You stared at him. A small smile pulled at the corners of your lips as you placed a hand on his, taking it from your chin to your chest. Warmth bloomed as it rested against your damp skin. 
“‘Kay.” Barely a whisper. Enough for only him to hear.
He paused, gaze holding steady on you, lips twitching at the corners. 
“Let’s get you up ‘n out of that thing, yeah?” He nodded to your dress. “You gotta be freezing.”
Gently, he lifted you off his lap, rising from the kitchen floor and pulling you up on your feet. Your legs felt like a wobbly blend of jelly and nerves that forced you to lean onto Steve for support. He anticipated this, catching you and gripping your shoulders. You didn’t say a word. Instead, you clung to him as he guided you through the living room and up the stairs to his bedroom. You passed by Sam and Bucky’s rooms, both empty for the night, just like Natasha’s downstairs. 
As Steve rifled through his drawers and closet, your focus wandered to his messy desk: the lamp cast a soft, warm glow across the room, sitting next to history books and sketchbooks stacked high on top of one another; pencils and dirtied paint brushes littered the surface, products of his latest art assignment. His bed was half-made, dark green covers on one side neatly tucked in while the opposite was thrown aside, exposing gray pinstripe sheets. The walls were covered with scattered art– some his, others his favorite artists’– posters and pictures of family, friends, and some local bands. You bit back a smile. Memories of the shows you both went to over the last few years played like a highlight reel in your mind. You never regretted it; you never passed up a single invite, even after the time Tony locked you out for a whole weekend. 
“Here, these are clean,” he handed you a neatly folded pile of his clothes before adding, “I promise.”
A fuller smile broke across your face. The first of the entire night.
“Uh huh, sure, I believe you,” you joked sarcastically. He feigned hurt, scoffing at your false accusation.
“I did the sniff test, if that makes you feel any better.”
You giggled, taking the clothes from him and turning to head to the bathroom.
“I’ll be down in the kitchen,” he called after you. “You, um, you want something to drink?”
You paused, turning to look at him from the bathroom doorway halfway down the hall. From where he stood, the saturated pink creeping up his neck and reaching his face was more visible than the light on his desk. You couldn’t help but hold in a snicker and flash him a relieved smile, thankful.
“Coffee would be a godsend, right now.”
Steve smiled, saluting you. “Coming right up.”
You headed into the bathroom, tossing the clothes onto the counter, slumping against the door the second you shut and locked it. Finally relaxing, you realized how much tension was pent up in your tired shoulders– which, in turn, prompted the realization you were holding your breath the entire time in Steve’s room. 
Brushing the self-induced lightheadedness, you slipped the ruined dress off your body and hung it up on the shower rod. You hated the color, the texture, but wore it anyway. For Tony. On your birthday.
You cursed yourself, pulling your bra off next– a pushup that held your rib cage hostage the entire night. Just how Tony likes it. 
Or, liked it.
You silently prayed Steve included some Bailey’s in your coffee. 
Pulling on Steve’s sweatshirt, the scent of him enveloped you instantly. You couldn’t help but nuzzle into the neck of it, filling your lungs with the familiarity of Steve. He was a quiet, sunny Sunday morning and freshly brewed coffee. He was a nice night in watching your favorite movies and playing cards. 
Your head was swimming, swirling, caught up in the entirety of your best friend. He was yours just as much as you were his. Through Tony, through other guys you’d subjected yourself to the last few years, none of them compared to Steve. 
You tugged the sweatpants on, catching sight of yourself in the mirror and realizing the runny makeup staining your face. You snorted at how fucking ridiculous you looked, remembering the caked-on layers you’d put on for the evening. Again, just for Tony. The snort turned into a giggle, utterly grateful for Steve not making fun of how you looked and for ignoring the mascara stains on his poor t-shirt from earlier.
But, again, it was Steve. He’d never make fun of you. Ever.
Butterflies– the ones you’d thought were long gone months prior– stuttered suddenly, alive and fluttering in your stomach. 
You instantly recognized the feeling: it was the same you had the day you met Steve.
The same feeling you’d get on roller coasters, or reading an exceptionally good romance novel. Giddiness, dizziness. It was as if you were spinning while the room stood still. Your head felt light, high on helium. Your skin burned. Meeting your own gaze in the mirror, you scanned yourself, the question ‘is this happening right now?’ running on a loop at the forefront of your mind. 
Bzzt.
You jumped at the buzz of a text. With the trance broken, you took into account your shaking hands and the bumping tempo of your heart. Turning on the sink, you made sure the water was as cold as possible before cupping some in your hands and splashing your face. Refreshing. Needed. You rubbed the rest of the runny wakeup off your skin, stuffing your face into the fluffy hand towel and silently promising to get the boys a new one. Picking up your phone, teeth chewed on cheek to hold in your smile at the sight of Steve’s name on the screen.
⍟ Steve: You doing OK? Coffees ready 
You looked at yourself in the mirror.
“You got this,” you told your reflection. “He’s only your best friend.”
The butterflies continued to multiply, bumping against one another, fluttering and escaping out into your chest and your limbs. 
“Fuck.”
You opened the door. 
⋆˙ઇଓ⋆⭒˚。⋆
“I was beginning to think you climbed out the window up there,” Steve quipped upon seeing you round the corner into the kitchen. He couldn’t help the stupid grin spreading across his face when he saw you in his clothes. You looked more relaxed, more comfortable.
More like you. 
You noticed he changed, too, donning a heather-gray t-shirt that clung to his torso in all the right ways– ways you hadn’t noticed before.
You mentally scolded yourself.
“A–Almost. But I’d never pass up a cup of world-famous Rogers Roast.”
“Wow, world-famous? I would’ve preferred universally-renowned, but I’ll take it.” He held a mug out to you, one faded with a ‘I ❤ New York’ logo– the one you’d gotten for him during your senior-year college internship. “Made it just how you like it.” 
He paused as you took a sip. You could feel his eyes on you, watching you, biting his lip in anticipation as you drank. The coffee tasted like liquid gold, warm and comforting and all-around delicious. You didn’t care if you burnt your tongue. This was what you needed. 
He was what you needed. 
Was he?
You looked back up at Steve. His cheeks flushed as he pressed his lips together, entranced with the mug in your hands, eyes ever-so-slightly flitting from it to your lips and back again. 
“Thank you, Stevie.” 
“You’re welcome, angel.”
You pinched yourself, then took another sip.
Silence fell, comfortable and calm, as you both nursed your drinks, checking your phones and letting time pass. You didn’t care to check the clock. 
Steve cleared his throat and set his phone down. 
“So, um,” he began. “What else did you have planned for your birthday?” 
His voice was low, tender, careful with the question so as not to upset you. He was curious, however, and determined to see exactly how much Tony fucked up your night.
And your life.
“Oh,” you swallowed, chewing your lip in an attempt to remember what you’d originally planned.
“He was, ah, gonna take me dancing. After dinner, after he,” you took an unsteady breath, “after he met my family. It was the one thing he told me he'd let me do after dinner.” You shook your head, adding under your breath, “besides him.”
Tension seeped into the space between you both. You didn’t want to meet Steve’s stare; it was the one you’d always see whenever you told him about Tony, one filled with anger so palpable it made his arms flex subconsciously, one he thought he hid well enough so you never saw, but you always did. Without looking up, you already knew his jaw was clenched and his shoulders were stiff and his eyes bored a hole into the wall behind you. Butterflies started to somersault, crashing into the waves of worry and anxiety. 
“Why?”
You looked up. Blue eyes. Stormy, swirling, stubborn.
“What?”
“Why did you stay with him?” Steve asked steadily, voice barely above a whisper. His Adam’s apple bobbed.
You paused. “Because he wouldn’t let me leave.”
“I could’ve helped you. We could’ve helped you,” he gestured vaguely to the rest of the house.
Your teeth tore into your bottom lip. Don’t cry, don’t cry, don’t cry, don’t cry.
“I–” Steve sighed and carded a hand through his dirty blond hair, frustrated, trying to keep his promise while also appealing to you and balancing the fragile tightrope you two stood on. “I care about you, angel. I care about you so fuckin’ much. I just wanna know why. Why he was– why you were–”
“I–” Don’t fucking cry. “I was trapped. Every time I tried to leave, he’d tie me down more. It… it wasn’t as easy as you fucking think, Steve. Rose-colored glasses, wool over my eyes, wolf in sheep's clothing, that sorta thing, ya know? These last couple years, I… I don’t know why tonight was it, and I don’t know how I was able to get out, and I just… I don’t fucking know. I don’t. I–” 
You felt tears again. 
“I– Angel, I wasn’t trying to–”
“No, I know,” you cut him off, setting down your mug to rub your face in your hands. “I know. But I need you to understand that I– God, my fucking brain feels so scrambled. I just feel so confused, I feel like I’m going insane right now. Fuck!” 
You tried to calm down, taking deep breaths to feed your strained lungs, holding on to each before exhaling. In, hold, out, repeat. 
The room was spinning again, whirling around like a sick carnival ride as your center of gravity began to give.
As you braced the counter, strong hands and warm, muscular arms engulfed you, lifting you back from the countertop and guiding you into the middle of the kitchen. Steve pressed into you until you relented, reaching your arms around him and pulling him closer. The tension in your shoulders melted, migrating to your chest where your heart surged the moment he touched you, where it pounded against your sternum, threatening to break out of its marrow cage. You inhaled him, savoring him, feeling him all around you.
Slowly, delicately, Steve unwrapped from you. He was careful with every touch, as if he would shatter you– even though he had no problem with putting you back together again. He’d done it a million times before, and he’d do it a million times again.
He’d do it all again for you. 
Steve carefully slid your hands from around his center, placing one onto his shoulder, then– nervously and ever-so-slowly– he held your other hand out, sliding down your forearm and entwining his fingers into yours. His free hand fell softly onto your waist, fingers absently and lightly kneading the fabric and skin underneath his palm.
“May I have this dance?” he whispered.
You looked up from the floor to Steve, speechless. You nodded.
Then, he started to sway. He guided you both, rocking side to side to an unheard rhythm and subtly spinning in unison under the soft glow of the kitchen light.
He smiled softly, boyish and genuine, with admiration and tenderness in his eyes. Something gentle and kind, something about the feeling and the familiarity of it– of him– sank into you the longer you looked at him. Your focus shifted around the features of his chiseled face. You recognized the light freckles stippled across his nose and cheeks leftover from the summer; the scar on his earlobe from the night Natasha drunkenly dared you to pierce his ear and failed; the faint worry lines sculpted into his forehead he inherited from his father; the soft, full pink of his lips that innocently parted when you caught him staring at you.
It was the feeling that felt foreign to you; the one missing from your life after the last two years. But, it wasn’t missing. It had been right in front of you the entire time stealing glances, accidental touches, and irreplaceable memories.
Steve had been there. 
Steve had been the one looking at you like that for the last two years. 
He wasn’t missing. He was just waiting his turn. 
And, judging by the realization that washed over your face, his waiting was over. 
Steve's smile widened as he squeezed your waist, wordlessly confirming the thoughts running rampant in your head. His Adam’s apple bobbed as he swallowed the ghost of a cry, blinking away tears forming in the corners of his vision. 
Your lips trembled as you smiled back. Slowly, you snaked your hand from his shoulder to his cheek and cupped his face. He leaned into your touch instantly, stubble and skin rubbed against your palm as he kissed it lightly. The press of his lips sent a spark coursing through your veins, electrifying your body and the air around you. The two of you continued to sway while the kitchen spun faster, a blurred whirlwind while you both remained in focus.
“When?” you asked, voice barely audible.
“Since the day I met you.”
“Why didn’t you–”
Steve shrugged. “I wanted to get to know you first. Didn’t wanna be some random dude who just wanted you for your number. You seemed too special to rush into something. Still are,” he sighed. “I wanted to be your friend first, but before I could muster up some courage, Tony swept you out from under me.” 
Guilt crawled up your throat. “I– I’m sorry, Stevie.”
He stepped away from you, twirling you, then dragged you back to him. You could’ve sworn your heart stopped beating. 
“No, baby, you don’t have anything to be sorry for. I promise. I–” his voice broke. “I wanted you to be happy. I want you to be happy. I just– I wish I did more for you. I should’ve done more for you.”
He tilted his head to the ceiling trying to stop his tears from falling, but you pulled him right back down to you. 
“Steve,” you started, keeping on his baby blues while your own voice struggled to remain steady, “you’ve done more for me than anyone else in the entire world. Hell, in my entire life. I just lost the last two years of my life suffering with someone I thought I loved. Who I thought loved me.”
You brought your other hand to his face. “You did all you could. I just… I thought it was gonna get better, you know? I thought, I hoped– God, I even fucking prayed– that he’d get better, but he didn’t. Nothing did. And I couldn’t find a way out. It’s like he conditioned me to believe he was the only one I had, like, he was the only one who’d ever save me.”
Steve frowned, but nodded in understanding. 
“I’m glad you came to me. Not just tonight, but every night. It was like reassuring me that I didn’t totally lose you, or like I never totally lost you.”
“You’ll never lose me, Stevie.”
His face, red-hot underneath your touch, moved closer to yours. You couldn’t tell if you were pulling or he was pushing. His hands gripped your waist the tighter you held his face, the two of you crashing into one another in slow-motion. The light above you grew brighter, the humming of the appliances was getting louder, the room spun at an infinitely unfathomable speed. 
You crashed together. 
Soft lips– softer than either of you could’ve ever pictured feeling– fit together like the perfect puzzle pieces. Neither of you moved, staying locked together until your hands slipped around his neck, pulling him closer and smashing his nose into your cheek. His grip became bruising as his fingers kneaded into your waist, steadying himself with your hips. You felt another surge of electricity as his tongue jutted out, parting your lips and swiping along the bottom before retreating back behind his.
He tipped you backwards on your heel, smirking against your lips as you flinched and grabbed onto the collar of his shirt. 
Setting you upright, he pulled away from the kiss and whispered, “I’ll never let you go.”
“Never?” 
“Ever.”
You kissed him again, and the butterflies went wild. 
280 notes · View notes
thxliaaa · 2 years
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it doesn't change anything | steve harrington
synopsis - a baby really does change everything doesn't it? right...?
pairing - steve harrington x reader
warning/s - cursing, mentions of miscarriage, reader being insecure, child birth and i think that's it. feel free to correct me if i'm wrong though.
author's note - thank you all so much for all the likes and reblogs that you have given my story !! i literally did not expect for it to blow up. you guys literally have no idea how thankful i am right now. i really really appreciate it. i love y'all so much !! here's the long awaited pt. 2 to "it changes everything"
part one
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To say Steve was mad would be an understatement. He was so furious at you for keeping your pregnancy from him, he was also furious at you for refusing to go to the doctor to check on your baby, but most importantly, he was furious at himself for being so oblivious. That’s why you were constantly eating, he thought that maybe you were just stress eating. Every pregnancy symptom you showed, he thought that you were just stressed from all of the things happening around you. The thought of you being pregnant didn’t even cross his mind, not even once. 
As soon as Steve got home to his apartment, his telephone was bombarded with calls. “Jesus, just fucking wait” he muttered as he made his way to the kitchen. “Hello?”
“STEVE! Come to the hospital as soon as you can, (Y/N) fainted!” Robin frantically explained. For Steve, it felt like deja vu all over again. It felt as if that time you bled on the bathroom floor and not long after, he was greeted with bad news. Once again, he sped through the door, and stepped on the pedal as hard as he could. Even though he was mad at you for keeping something like this from him, he still cared for you seeing as you were carrying his child.
When he got to the hospital, he sprinted towards the front desk wanting to get a response as soon as possible. Again, he fought with the nurse, just like old times. “Relation to the patient?” The nurse asked.
“Husband, I mean ex-husband. I’m the father of the baby she’s carrying” Steve blurted out. The nurse gave him a look of judgment. “I see, she’s in room number 505”
“Husband, I mean ex-husband. I’m the father of the baby she’s carrying” Steve blurted out. The nurse gave him a look of judgment. “I see, she’s in room number 505”
Steve did not waste a second and quickly ran to the elevator. Finally, after what felt like forever, The brunette boy had finally reached the fifth floor where his ex-wife was lying on the bed with an IV connected to her. He also noticed that the kids, Jonathan, Nancy, and Robin were surrounding her.
As soon as he opened the door, Nancy noticed his presence and went to hug him to try and comfort him. “Did they find out why she fainted?” Steve mumbled into Nancy’s neck as they pulled away from the hug.
Before Nancy could even answer, Robin beat her to it. “They said it was cause of stress and fatigue”
Steve glanced at his best friend which was then followed with a nod. He was still in a state of shock. Everything that's happening right now didn’t make sense to him at all, it felt like a fever dream. 
“How long have you guys been here?” He asked the three adults in front of him seeing as the teenagers were already sleeping on the couch and on the extra chairs. 
“Well after you left, that’s when she fainted. So if you add the time it got you to your house plus the time it took to get you to this hospital. Then that would be how long we were in here” Robin started to blabber. Steve knew that Robin too, was nervous for her best friend. 
“It’s fine you guys can go home, I can go look after her” Steve had plastered on a fake smile as his friends all looked at each other in concern. “Are you sure, Steve? I mean we can handle it” Nancy said as Jonathan looked at her then nodded. 
“Yes, I’m sure. Besides, the kids need to sleep anyways” The brown-eyed boy laughed humorlessly. 
“Okay. You can call us if you need anything. Anything, okay?” Robin stated as Jonathan and Nancy started waking up the sleeping teenagers surrounding them. 
They all bid their farewells to Steve as he led them out. As Dustin was heading out the door, he suddenly stopped in front of the adult in front of him. “Hey Steve?” 
Steve hummed in reply. “Don’t mess up” Dustin said as he put his hands on the brown-eyed boy’s shoulder. “Gee, thanks for the advice man” He replied as he pressed his lips together. 
Dustin gave the boy one last hug as he followed the others. Finally alone in the room with (Y/N), Steve had nothing to do but overthink. 
It has been 13 hours since you had fainted and Steve never left your side. The only times he ever did was for bathroom breaks and to get food. However, he never had the appetite to finish them. So they just sat there on the bedside table left untouched. 
Steve was pacing the room back and forth, he couldn’t stay still. Just as he was about to call a doctor for the third time, your eyes started to flutter open.
It was bright. That was the first thing you had observed. It took a while before your eyes had adjusted to the brightness of the light bulbs, but when you were fully conscious, you saw Steve’s face in front of you. He had a smile plastered on his face. 
“What happened?” You managed to croak out. “Well you fainted last night, and you know, you’re pregnant so we obviously had to bring you to the hospital” 
Everything started to finally come back to you. Robin telling Steve that you were pregnant. You and him getting into a fight right after, and the darkness engulfing you later on. 
“So you know now, huh?” You laughed without any humor laced into it. “Yes” He replied as you felt him stiffen. 
“Why would you keep this from me? This isn’t only your baby, it’s OUR baby” 
You stared at him as your face fell. “Well, you didn’t want to stay with me anymore. And I know that if I told you about the baby, you would’ve changed your decision about the divorce” 
“Damn right, I would’ve. Being apart from each other won’t be the best for the baby” Steve spat. 
“But being with each other won’t be the best for us” You fought back as his eyebrows furrowed in anger. “If Robin didn’t tell me about this, would you have told me at all?” He queried. 
You took a deep breath before answering, “Of course I would’ve. You’re the father, Steve.” you held both of his hands. “You have a right to know” you added.
The brown-eyed boy’s face had softened after he was reassured with what you said. He then put a big smile on his face after having a realization. 
“So we have a little nugget on the way now, don’t we?” He chuckled. 
five months gone
It had been a few months after the incident happened and you were now five months into your pregnancy. Of course, Steve had managed to find a way to convince you to start going to your doctor’s appointments. He had accompanied you to the first ultrasound of your pregnancy, and when he saw the baby’s silhouette on the screen, he couldn’t help but shed a tear. 
Today was the day you were supposed to find out what the baby’s gender is. However, even though Steve was practically on his knees begging for the doctor to tell the two of you what the gender was, you wanted it to be a surprise for the both of you. Steve just sighed in defeat knowing that you were stubborn enough to not let yourself lose. 
When you got home, Steve stayed with you. He was an amazing co-parent to have with you. Even though you two were divorced, he still showed you that he cared for you. Although, half of you think that it’s only because of the baby you were carrying. 
You got too lost in your thoughts to even notice that there was somebody ringing the doorbell. “Hey, (Y/N)! There’s somebody at the door! I would go get it but I can’t because I’m cooking!” Steve yelled from your kitchen. 
Pulling away from your thoughts, you got up and went to the door. “Hey sorry for taking long–” 
Robin was standing in front of you with your favorite foods in her hand. “Hi” She smiled at you as your face dropped from seeing her. “What are you doing here?” 
“Well, I figured you and the baby might be hungry so I decided to stop by” She chuckled. 
This would be the first time you talked to Robin after the incident that happened. The game nights still happened every Friday. However, even after her many attempts, you still had refused to talk to her. You couldn’t fathom how she was the one person you had trusted, yet she had spilled your secret to the very person you didn’t want to find out about it. 
“We’re fine, Steve is making us food from the kitchen” 
“(Y/N), how long are you gonna keep on ignoring me? I learned from my mistakes and I only wanted what was best for you–” “YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT’S BEST FOR ME!”
“I trusted you, Robin. I trusted you with a big secret that I had and you have the audacity to make yourself a victim right now?” You couldn’t believe what you were hearing. 
“I didn’t need you to do that for me. So no, I can’t forgive you right now no matter how many times you apologize. Now, get out of my face before I kill you” You yelled. 
“(Y/N)–” “GET OUT!” 
Robin put her head down in defeat, she messed up and she knew it. 
Just as soon as you closed the door, Steve came running to the front door after hearing you yell. “Hey, is everything okay?” He put his hands on your shoulders. “Yeah, I’m fine. It’s just about something” You forced a smile onto your face. 
Steve smiled back before pulling you in for a tight embrace. “Not too tight. Baby bump” you giggled. “Oop, sorry” 
The two of you stayed like that for a while. It was rare moments like this that made you happy. Just the two of you together, against the world. 
“By the way food is ready”
three months gone
It was now the eighth month of your pregnancy. You had a baby bag packed and ready to go anytime the baby wanted to pop out of you. Steve was also checking in on you everyday, making sure you weren’t dead yet. 
You were in the middle of making yourself pickles with peanut butter on them when you heard a knock on your door. “Just a second” you chuckled as you licked the remaining peanut butter that was on your spoon. 
When you opened the door, Steve was standing on your doorway with a serious look on his face. “Oh hi” your face dropped at the expression his face had. “Can we talk? This is really important and I think it’s about time we discuss this” He said with a serious tone laced on his voice. “Oh uhm sure” You said as you led him inside your house.
As the two of you sat on your table, you offered him something to eat, in which he declined and tried to converse with you to address the elephant in the room.
“So how have you been?” He awkwardly asked. “Steve, you’re on the phone with me 24/7. Just skip the small talk and just get straight to the point” 
Steve was baffled at her response, yet he complied and got straight to the reason as to why he went to her place in the first place.
“I think it’s about time we talk about our schedule with the baby” He started as you made eye contact with him letting him know that he has your full attention.
“I was thinking we could switch every 2 weeks? We'll live close to each other so he or she won't have to adjust to a new place every time we have her.” 
You nodded at his suggestion before opening your mouth to state a query that you had in mind. 
“Uhm, what holidays do you want to have the baby?” 
Steve thought for a second before replying to your question. “You can have the baby for their first Christmas. I know how important Christmas is for you” 
You shook your head at his response. Steve furrowed his eyebrows in confusion. 
“No. We can spend the baby’s first Christmas all together. The baby deserves to have two happy parents on Christmas” you suggested.
The brunette boy sat in his seat with his mouth agape. However, you were getting the wrong idea from his current position. “Only if you want” you added nervously.
Steve shook his head “No, no. Of course I want to. Thank you” He gave you a genuine smile.
Steve couldn't help but smile at what his ex-lover had stated. It was thoughtful of her to say that, and knowing that she still cares for him made his heart skip a beat.
“So do you have any baby names in mind?” You asked your ex-husband to hopefully get your mind off of the conversation you had just a few seconds ago. Steve nodded, “Yeah, I have a few actually” 
“Let’s hear it then” you warmly smiled at him. “Well do you remember the flowers I gave you on our first date?” He asked as you raised your eyebrows at him. “Pink lilies of the valley?”
“Yeah! I was playing around with names and I really liked the name ‘Lilliana’. We can call her Lily for short.” 
He looked into your eyes, waiting for a sign of approval from you. “It’s really pretty and it has a sentimental meaning attached to it” Steve added. 
“Lilliana it is then. How about a boy's name?” You asked him. Steve awkwardly scratched the back of his neck before replying “Well, I kinda forgot about that part”
“What made you so sure that this baby isn't a boy?” 
“Well what made you so sure that it’s not a girl?” He asked back at you. “Cause I have motherly instincts, Steve” You scoffed. 
“Maybe you should decide then.” Steve offered, which you gladly accepted. “How about Luke? From Star Wars you know? The first movie we watched together” 
Steve had a flashback of the night you two went out for a date. It was raining and the theatres were closed, both of you were completely drenched in the backseat of his car before finally deciding to just rent out the movie “Star Wars”. It was also the first time you two shared your first kiss together. 
“I like that, very sentimental too” He chuckled as you hid your face to prevent him from seeing the blush that was creeping up on your face. “Luke it is then” you smiled.
“Well since we have shared custody of the baby, I would like for you to meet my girlfriend. Since you know, she’ll be helping me take care of the baby”
Girlfriend. Steve had a girlfriend.
You had completely forgotten about the time you were at the mall when you saw him practically snogging the girl in public. You felt your heart drop at the topic, yet you sucked it up so Steve wouldn’t notice it.
“Yeah, for sure. When though?” You asked, forcing a smile onto your face. 
“Anytime, really. We don’t mind.” 
“Would Thursday be a good day?” You asked, trying to seem interested in the said topic. “Yeah of course! I’m so excited for you to meet her” Steve smiled in response.
“Yeah me too!”
Nope, definitely not excited
Steve was right about her, the girl was a complete sweetheart. You couldn’t bring yourself to hate her. I mean how could anyone?
She didn’t mind that you were having a baby with him, she supported him with all of her heart. Not only that but she was also really beautiful. Like a goddess type of beautiful. 
You couldn’t help but feel insecure. In this moment, you knew that you had lost. If it wasn’t for your baby, Steve wouldn’t have stayed in contact with you. I mean who would get back to you if they saw this beauty? 
The girl could even be a better mother than you. Just then, a thousand insecure thoughts started to fill your head. In times like this, you could only turn to one person, and one person only. 
You dialed the phone number onto your telephone, it was ringing for a few moments until a familiar voice answered. “Hello?”
“Hey Robin, Can you come over?”
Not even a few minutes went by, Robin was already at your house. You had ranted about Steve’s new perfect girlfriend to her. 
Robin was in disbelief, “(Y/N), calm down” 
“I can’t just calm down, Robin. I look like a huge potato right now because of this belly” You sobbed into the tissue she gave you. 
“That’s because you’re pregnant. P-R-E-G-N-A-N-T. Have you seen yourself before you were pregnant? I would’ve totally hit on you if you were single” She said as you laughed at her statement.
You couldn’t stay mad at Robin for that long, of course you wanted to, but you just couldn’t.
“You know what, Robin? I missed this” You smiled genuinely at her. “Me too”
“I’m so sorry for what I did to you. It was unacceptable! I couldn’t believe myself. I only said that because I was worried of you cause if you ever—“ “Robin, breathe” 
She exhaled as you giggled at her behavior. “It’s all forgiven now, Robin. Don’t worry about it” 
“Really?” Her eyes lit up. “Of course.” You said as you pulled her in for a tight embrace. 
“Although, I do prefer you apologizing to me with snacks.” You smiled innocently at her. 
“You are such a jerk”
one month gone
Your water had just broke and you had notified Steve about it. He was now going to the hospital as fast as he could. 
When he got to your room, he saw you walking around, hands pressed against your waist with your face scrunching up in pain.
“Hi” He smiled nervously at you. “Why are you nervous, Steve Harrington? Are you the one pushing a baby out of your vagina?” You snapped back at him.
“Geez, no need to be aggressive” 
“Shut up before I kill you” You gritted your teeth together as another contraction hit you. 
“Are you okay? Do you need anything?” He asked as he was panicking. “I need this baby out of me right now. Can you do that, Harrington? It’s freaking Christmas Eve later yet I’m spending it at the hospital in pain” you took a deep breath before laying down on the bed again. 
“Hey, I’m here okay?” Steve kissed your forehead as you smiled at him. “I know, thanks for coming.” 
“Well I mean, do I have any other choice?” he joked as you playfully punched his chest at the remark he made. “I’m kidding. Just try to rest ok?” he kissed your forehead again before he got to rest himself as well. 
He woke up 8 hours later and spent the last 2 hours watching TV. The time was now 11:35. Steve decided that you also needed food to at least make your Christmas Eve happy. He saw that you were still sleeping, so he quietly made his way to the door and bought some food.
Steve was gone for 20 minutes. 20 minutes tops. Yet when he came back, you were surrounded by doctors as you were pushing this baby out. 
He dropped the food he brought to the table and rushed towards you to hold your hand. 
“Push, (Y/N), push!” The doctor was encouraging you to do so. Even though it was painful, you complied with them. “I can see the head now. You’re doing so good (Y/N)! Just one more. One more!”
Steve’s hand was sweating, he was nervous at the situation happening in front of him. As he was about to say something encouraging to you, he was abruptly stopped by the sound of a baby’s cry.
“It’s a girl!” 
And just like that Steve’s life flashed before his eyes. 
six months gone
Your daughter, Lilliana, had just started teething. She would bite anything her teeth would grab a hold on. 
One of her newest victims was her father. 
“Ow! You hurt daddy, Lily.” Steve pouted as he played with your daughter. Lilliana started laughing at his gesture. “Oh, so you like it when daddy gets hurt?” He put his hands on his chest as your daughter started laughing more. 
“Honey, I’m home” you shouted as you heard laughing from upstairs. As you climbed up the stairs, the laughing started getting louder and louder. “What is going on here?” you chuckled as you watched your husband fake crying. “Well, Miss Lily here thinks that daddy getting hurt is funny” 
You laughed at what Steve had said. “Is that true, sweets?” 
“Is that true?” You bopped her nose as she laughed harder. “She's been biting an awful lot lately” Steve said as he grabbed her from the crib and held her in his arms. Lilliana took this as an opportunity to bite him again. “OW!” He flinched as the little devil in his arms started biting him again. She laughed once again, as you stared at your little family lovingly.
nine months gone
Lilliana had just started crawling, and she was not normal. She was crawling backwards, which was weird. 
“No Lily, you crawl like this. Forward, not backward” you showed her how but she disregarded it and just continued to crawl backwards again. “You never listen to mommy, don’t you?” 
“Steve!” You called out from the living room. “Yes?’ He stuck his head out of the kitchen. “Why is my baby crawling backwards?” 
“Wait what?” 
“She is! Like look at her!” You exclaimed as Steve sprinted towards the living room. He looked at her then started laughing like a maniac.
“Oh my god. I live with two babies” You rolled your eyes as Steve started cheering Lilliana on. “You’re supposed to be teaching her how to crawl properly, not encouraging her”
“This is how I crawled as a baby. Beeboop beeboop” He started laughing again as he watched your baby crawl backwards again.
You sighed at the sight of them. “Like father, like daughter”
five years gone
It was now Lilliana’s first day of kindergarten. She made sure to prepare everything she needed the night before. You were proud of your daughter for being independent and very mature for her age. 
“You sure you got everything, love?” You asked again as she sighed at you. “Yes, mom” 
“Was that a sigh I heard?” Steve pointed his eyebrows at her. (Y/N) laughed at the scene that was unveiling in front of her. “Okay honey, you need to go now. Promise me you won’t cry?” Lilliana just nodded in reply as her parents kissed her forehead goodbye. 
“I need to go now bye mommy, bye daddy!” She said as she gave a kiss to the both of you on your cheeks once again.
You and Steve stood there in surprise. Lilliana didn’t even cry 
“What just happened?” Steve was perplexed. “Well that was anticlimactic.” Your eyes widened at the little girl’s gesture. “I expected her to beg us not to go.” You added as you turned to look at Steve who was standing beside you bewildered. 
His little girl was all grown up. 
seven years gone
“No! Lily favors me!” you heard shouting from Nancy and Jonathan’s living room. “No! She said that I’m her favorite!” you heard another one fight back. 
You made your way to their kitchen and saw the kids, who were now young adults fighting over your daughter. 
“The last time I saw Lily, I asked her if I was her favorite and she said yes!” Lucas raised his voice. “Because you were the only person there, dipshit!” Dustin snapped back. 
“Hey! Hey! Language! My daughter's right in front of you guys.” Steve interfered with the argument. 
“But Lilliana is always excited to see me” El said softly. “You’re lying!”
“She loves me cause I’m the only one that has unique and beautiful hair” Max rolled her eyes as if she was pointing out the obvious. 
“Shut up, Max. Nobody likes redheads!” Mike said to her. Max gasps at the statement that he made. “Well clearly Lily does!”
The young adults were fighting over who your daughter favored. You mentally slapped your forehead at this pointless argument. 
The yelling was starting to get louder and everyone was basically using this as an excuse to judge each other and before you decided to start to intervene in the argument unfolding in front of you, Steve had beaten you to it. 
“Guys, it’s obvious she favors me” He rolled his eyes.
thirteen years gone
Lily had just arrived home from school, sulking. You noticed the change in her behavior after she slammed the door to her room. “Hey! No slamming the doors young lady!” 
Wiping the excess water off of your hands, you went up the stairs and made your way to your daughter’s bedroom. You heard sniffling from inside but before you could even open your mouth to speak, you heard your husband’s voice coming from inside. 
“Hey, he’s just a stupid boy okay?” Steve said as he pulled your daughter in for a tight hug. “He doesn’t deserve you and you certainly don’t deserve someone who acts like that” He added as Lilliana started sobbing into his neck. 
He rubbed his hand comfortingly up and down Lily’s back as she was letting out soft sobs. Steve was the perfect dad. 
fourteen years gone
“First day of High School! You made it honey!” You and Steve were ecstatic for your daughter. Even though she acted as if she didn’t care, you knew deep down she did. 
“Do you have everything packed?” Steve, once again asked for the ninth time. “Yes, dad” Lilliana rolled her eyes. 
You chuckled at the father and daughter. “Hey don’t you dare roll your eyes at me” Steve pointed at her. 
“One more picture!”
“What? Mom? No!” Lilliana protested. “Pretty please?” you pouted at her which was then followed by Steve doing the same thing. 
“Please Lily, this’ll be your mom and I’s remembrance that our little girl is growing up–”
“Mr. Harrington, are you there?” 
Steve was abruptly awakened from his daydreaming. “What?” He furrowed his eyebrows in confusion. “We said, what do you want to name your daughter?” The nurse in front of him replied. 
(Y/N) looked at Steve for reassurance that he can name their baby. As Steve caught a glimpse of his daughter, tears started forming in his eyes. 
“Do you want to hold her, Mr. Harrington” The nurse asked as Steve can only do so much but nod. He was stunned in place, no words were able to come out of his mouth as his only focus right now was on his daughter. 
(Y/N) smiled at the two, it was her little family. 
“Merry Christmas, Steve” 
And Lilliana did have two happy parents on her first christmas, because at exactly 12:00 am of December 25, 1990, a baby girl was born to Steve Harrington and Y/n Y/l/n. 
three years gone
“Are you excited to be the flower girl, Lily?” Steve enthusiastically asked his daughter who was in front of him. She nodded shyly as Steve tickled her. Her laughter was music to his ears, he could never get enough of her. 
“Ooh, it’s time. Are you excited to see mommy in a dress?” 
“Yes!” Lilliana jumped up to show her excitement. Steve then grabbed her and twirled her around in the air. “I better go inside now. You go wait out here okay?” 
Lilliana nodded as Steve went inside the chapel to wait for a special someone. 
“You may now kiss the bride” 
Everyone around them whooped and cheered at the newlyweds, and Steve was one of them. 
No matter how bright and cheerful the aura around him was, he was fighting the urge to break down inside of the chapel. No amount of happiness could replace the misery he was feeling inside of him. And he hated it. 
However, in his mind, the only thing keeping him intact was that you were happy. Lily was happy. And he prioritized your happiness over his, even though it pained him to do so. 
As the newlyweds made their way through the aisle, he made eye contact with you who was now hand in hand with your new husband. You gave him a nod to let him know that you acknowledge his presence in your wedding. He did the same thing as well. 
It should’ve been him standing there with you. Yet, that was not the case. 
In the end, (Y/N) and Steve never lived happily ever after. Just because a baby is born doesn’t mean people automatically get back together. Although, they did spend a happy life with their daughter, Lilliana, just not altogether.
Steve was wrong, a baby doesn’t change everything. Because if it did, there would be a happy ending to this story. The two of you would be together. And Steve Harrington wouldn’t have to watch the love of his life say “I do” to Eddie Munson. 
But, there’s no fairytale in this story, and that’s just how life is.
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jk i’m not that cruel there’s an alternate ending to this story. i feel like my love for angst is too much right now. I NEED TO MAKE SOME FLUFFY IMAGINES
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whatthetumblfck · 8 months
Text
I Was Born Ready
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Summary: You're kidnapped on a mission gone wrong and it only gets worse. You eventually escape, but will Bucky and the team see you the same way?
Word Count: 6517
Warnings: swearing, some injuries, angst, whump
Content: Bucky x reader, Y/N, Avengers, whump, kidnapping. All of my fics are self-indulgent.
Please don't claim my work as your own, but feel free to reblog.
You wiped the sweat from your brow.  As far as you could tell, it had been 5, maybe 6, days since you were taken. You knew what HYDRA were doing. They were trying to break you. You adjusted your legs and shifted your weight in the dark, cramped space.  For the last several hours, you had been locked in some sort of box, just big enough to crouch or sit with crossed legs. It was hot as hell and you’d been sweating profusely, wondering how much longer you would last before passing out from dehydration or dying from heat stroke. But you tried not to worry about it. They will come for you soon. He will come for you. You just need to hang on a little while longer.
               A few more hours had passed, and the heat was suffocating. What little strength you had left was dwindling. You rested your head against the wall of the enclosure and closed your eyes, fighting the nauseating dizziness that threatened to overcome you.  The rattling of chains caught your attention. It seemed like the sound was getting closer. It was then you realized you had drifted- asleep? Unconscious? You weren’t sure, but you fought like hell to focus your attention on what was happening right outside your tiny prison. Suddenly, there was a sharp creak of metal and cool light flooded the box. You squinted your eyes, desperate to see what was going on.
“Get up!” a harsh voice demanded.
Your body shook as you tried to stand, but it was no use. You were too weak and dehydrated.
“GET UP!” they shouted angrily, as if that would provide the strength needed to undo the last several hours of torture.
Instead, your body gave up completely and you slumped inside the box. The next thing you registered was the sensation of a cool breeze on your face and the tops of your feet scraping along concrete as they dragged you by your arms back to your cell.
ONE WEEK EARLIER
“The fuck you mean it’s abandoned?” you whispered.
“I mean, I’m not picking up any heat signatures inside the building,” Sam clarified, adjusting Redwing’s controls just to be sure.
Bucky lowered his chin, smiling to himself. He knew you were always looking forward to a fight.
“All right, until we clear it, we’re going to proceed with caution,” Steve began, “Y/N and Bucky, you’re going to enter the south side of the building. Sam and I will cover the north entrance. Position Redwing on the east to detect movement from the access road. Once it’s clear, we set the charges and evacuate.”
You stole a sideways glance at Bucky and tried to hide your excited smile. You loved working with Bucky; you consider him to be your best friend. You felt like there might even be more there too. But you never pushed him. If being friends was all he wanted, then you would be happy with that.  Bucky was mostly quiet and reserved, but sometimes he would open up to you, tell you about his life before the war. Sometimes, but very rarely, he would reveal the horrors HYDRA inflicted upon him. You couldn’t respond; only listen in sickened contempt. Your hatred for them became personal because of what they put him through, but you also began to piece together how they operate, their torture methods, and their twisted thought processes. You filed away this information little by little, to use against them and one day, take them down. It became your personal mission, why you were so eager to take on HYDRA related missions, and so disappointed when they turned out to be flops.
Your thoughts were interrupted by an elbow gently nudging your arm. “You ready?” Bucky said as your eyes met his.
“I was born ready,” you replied, smugly.
Bucky smiled at your enthusiasm, but it didn’t reach his eyes. He was tired of fighting, but he’d be lying if he said he didn’t want to watch HYDRA burn to the ground. Having you fight beside him, though, was a double-edged sword. He enjoyed your company more than he let on, but he also worried for your safety.  He always asked Steve to pair you two together as much as possible on missions (so he could keep an eye on you), and he always received a knowing look in return. You were one of the best fighters Bucky had ever seen, but you could also be impulsive. Most of the time, you managed to compensate for this flaw and come out on top in the fight, but there have been quite a few close calls. Too close for Bucky’s comfort, even if you insisted you had everything under control.
“After you then,” Bucky said, gesturing to the south entrance.
“Such a gentleman,” you flirted, even though your tone was a bit condescending. You didn’t miss the fact that Bucky liked to keep an eye on you. It was obvious, the way he stuck by your side for every mission. It was sweet, but completely unnecessary.
Entering the building was uneventful. As you looked around, you took note of all the dust and debris, the result of what must have been years of no use. Maybe Sam was right, it must be abandoned. What a waste of time. You continued your sweep, clearing each derelict room.
“Second and third floors are clear,” Sam’s voice sounded in your comm.
“Well, aren’t you an over-achiever?” you responded mockingly.
“Y/N, Buck. What’s your status?” Steve asked, attempting to maintain professionalism on the mission. Captain Steve didn’t know how to have fun. Killjoy.
“First floor is clear, heading to the basement now,” Bucky reported, shooting you a ‘behave yourself’ look. You stuck your tongue out at him and ran for the stairwell.
“Y/N, wait!”
“Come on! There’s nothing here. Let’s clear this moldy-ass basement so we can blow it up and get home. I’m starving!” you announced.
Bucky caught up with you and roughly grabbed your elbow to pull you back.
“We need to be careful. This is HYDRA we’re dealing with. You need to take this seriously.”
You ripped your arm from his grasp, offended he would be so rough with you. “This isn’t HYDRA. This isn’t anything. There’s literally nothing here.”
Bucky schooled his expression. He didn’t want to be angry with you, but your recklessness could put everyone in danger. He let out a frustrated sigh, putting his hands on your shoulders and lowering his head to look into your eyes.
“Will you please be more careful? For me?”
You were momentarily stunned by the soft cadence of his voice. But quickly regathered your thoughts.
“Bucky, I am being careful. You need to lighten up.” You shrugged out of his grasp and turned back to the stairwell.
What is with everyone today? The super-soldiers are being super-serious. Even Sam seems like a stick in the mud, definitely not his usual, talkative self. Did you do something to offend them? You thought about the events of the last few days and couldn’t think of anything out of the ordinary. Definitely nothing that would explain what everyone’s problem is.
You glanced over your shoulder to see Bucky a few paces behind you as you descended the last of the stairs and reached the basement.
“Well, I didn’t think it was possible, but this looks even more abandoned than the first floor,” you said giving Bucky a pointed look.
“Just keep your eyes open for anything suspicious.” Bucky gently brushed past you to take the lead, advancing down the corridor. He had an uneasy feeling he just couldn’t shake.
“Suspicious?” you remarked sarcastically. “This whole mission is suspicious. What are we fighting here? The cobwebs? The ridiculous amount of dust?” You pushed past Bucky to take the lead again, but when you glanced back, you realized he had stopped. He was looking at you with wide eyes; his expression, one you didn’t recognize.  
“What? What is it?” you asked, concern growing in the pit of your stomach.
“You’re right. Nothing about this is right. There’s too much dust. Our source indicated there was activity here less than a year ago. It shouldn’t look like this.”
You looked around nervously. “Maybe the source was wrong.”
“Not likely…”
Unexpected static in the comms made you jump. You could hear Steve’s voice, but it kept breaking up and you couldn’t understand what he was saying until you made something out very clearly that made your blood run cold.
Pull back……’s a trap…--t out…ABORT!
Your eyes locked with Bucky’s. You froze. He was standing about 10 feet from you when you both registered a rapid clicking noise, like a sped-up clock.
“RUN!!” You heard him yell just before the explosion.
The wall behind you erupted, sending you several yards through the air until you collided with the ground. You could feel the heat and unbearable pressure on your back as you lay prone in the ruins. Dust swirled around you. After several moments of trying to remember how to breathe again and process what the hell had just happened, you remembered that Bucky was with you. You glanced over in his direction, but all you could see was a literal wall of rubble, fire, and smoke. You struggled to focus your eyes, blinking rapidly to clear the tears that were forming. Damn, that hurt.
Distantly, you could hear someone calling your name.
“Buck--,” your voice was cut off by a coughing fit as the dust invaded your lungs. “Bucky…” you tried again.
“Y/N?” he sounded closer. You could hear movement, crumbling concrete. “Are you hurt?”
It was at this point, you realized you should probably take a moment to figure out the damage.
“Y/N??” his voice sounded more concerned, more urgent. You weren’t sure how long you had taken to respond.
“Uhh…I….I think I’m okay……I can’t move. I think…ahh…there’s something on my back,” you choked out.
“You’re gonna be okay. We’re coming to get you. Just..hang on, okay? Hang on.”
Hearing this made you relax. Getting blown up was exhausting. You were certain you were going to hear about this later. About how you should have listened to Bucky, been more careful, taken the mission more seriously. You closed your eyes, trying to reserve your strength. You would need it to climb out of this burning hole in the ground.
After a few minutes, you felt the pressure on your back lessen. That was fast. You opened your eyes and tried to focus on Bucky’s face, but then you heard his voice from behind the burning wall of concrete. Confused, you concentrated your attention on the blurry figure standing before you. HYDRA. You gathered all your strength, trying to fight, but you couldn’t get a single hit in before a blow to your face rendered you unconscious.
Bucky heard footsteps and scraping rocks on the other side of the barrier. He had finally managed to make a dent in the rubble just large enough to see through. To see you being dragged away by HYDRA.
“NOOOO!” Bucky frantically slammed his metal fist into the rubble, trying to break through, but it was no use. He couldn’t get to you in time. He watched as you disappeared into the dust and smoke.
You were freezing. Another week had passed, maybe two. You weren’t sure. It was the same thing. Over and over.  Freezing to the point you couldn’t move or think. Then they would throw you in the box again until you passed out from the heat. You didn’t even know what they wanted. They didn’t ask you anything, barely said three words to you. Wouldn’t answer any of your questions. How the hell did they expect to get information out of you if they didn’t fucking ask you anything? Idiots. You’d be glad to give them as much false information as you could muster.
You were frustrated. Frustrated with this pointless torture and frustrated that no one had broken you out of this shithole yet. What was taking so long?
The next day was new. This time a man in a lab coat came into your cell. Based on the history of everything you have come to know about HYDRA, the lab coat is not a good sign.  He peered down at you where you sat against the cold, concrete wall.
“She’s ready,” he practically drooled with excitement. Disgusting.
Two oversized goons entered your cell and brought you to your feet as another ganglier looking goon wheeled in a stretcher. Your stomach dropped. Not good. This is not good. You tried not to let anxiety and fear get the best of you. You’ve endured the heat, the cold, the physical pain and the repulsive goop they fed you, but this was new, and you had no idea what they had planned.
“No. No no no. What are you doing?” You kicked and fought weakly as they strapped you down. You were unable to move.
Lab coat leaned in close to your face. You could smell the wicked stench rolling out of his mouth.
He simply answered, “Phase two.”
……..
“What do you want? You’ve been torturing me for weeks and haven’t asked me a damn thing! Do you even know how this works? No? Must have missed that day in torture 101.”
The lab coat stopped what he was doing and turned to face you. Amusement and almost pity plastered on his face.
“My dear. I haven’t been torturing you. I’ve been preparing you.”
…………
The first injection must have been a sedative and, for that, you were thankful. Your vision became blurry and all your muscles relaxed at once. You could’ve almost fallen asleep. Until the second injection. At first, it was cold, like ice running through your veins. Starting in your arm and flowing through your chest before settling in the rest of your limbs. It was enough to make you shiver and shake uncontrollably. With the last injection came the unbearable heat. It spread through you like wildfire, burning through the sedative and blistering your nerves. It coursed through your body, the agonizing flames filling your skull, threatening to split it open. It was too much. Unbearable. You thrashed your arms and legs beneath the restraints, screaming until you went hoarse. Nothing you did relieved the pain, the burning.  You were left alone in your misery, knowing nothing but the searing pain in your head, threatening to end your life. You hoped it would.
Then, it stopped. You thought maybe death had finally taken you and you felt sadness, for Bucky. For the team. But you were back in your cell. This couldn’t be death. Death isn’t this cruel.
You rolled on your side and slowly sat upright, fighting off the dizziness. You felt horrible, like you should be dead, but at least the pain had subsided. You experimentally staggered to the door of your cell and peered through the slot. It was eerily silent. Still, you waited to see if anyone approached. They almost always did when you awoke to send you for another round of torture…or wait. What did he say? They were preparing you..for what? The injections, ice and fire, the pain, all came flooding back to you. What did they do? Your breaths came faster. You had to get out of there. Fear and panic were in control now. You pushed and pulled at the door feverishly, and to your surprise, the door opened. Worried this was another trap, you stepped back, but no one came. What the fuck?
You left your cell and made your way down the hallway, searching for the exit or at the very least, a weapon. The building was completely cleaned out. They left you there, their experiment. Did they think you were dead? Or just a failure? You didn’t feel any different. Those HYDRA morons must have been bigger fucking idiots than you gave them credit for. Still, you weren’t going to stick around. When you finally made it out of the building, you realized you actually recognized the area. You weren’t that far from the compound. It made you sick to think you were only 10 or so miles from home this whole time, and still, they couldn’t find you. HYDRA could have practically walked up and rang the front doorbell, and the team would have had no idea.
It was cold outside and you were dressed only in a thin gown. You walked for hours, determined to make it home. You had no way of contacting anyone. You were surrounded by a few trees and fields of nothing. The final yards leading up to the compound were grueling. You were exhausted. Your feet bled and your legs shook with the effort.
It was early evening, you guessed, when you painfully stumbled into the common room, where Steve, Bucky and Sam all sat, attention focused on various maps and blueprints laid out before them. Steve saw you first, eyes staring and mouth hanging open. It would have been humorous had you not just been through hell and back. Bucky stopped mid-sentence when he noticed Steve’s expression and turned his head to see what Steve was staring at.
“Y/N??” Bucky couldn’t believe it. His eyes ran over your battered form, watching your whole body shake with fatigue.
You didn’t know what to say. You tried to choke back the tears that were now streaming down your face.
But this was all you could handle. You were suddenly dizzy, the room had started to spin and you dropped to your knees as Bucky ran towards you.
“Oh God! Call Dr. Cho!” Bucky ordered, but Sam was already on it.
You collapsed into Bucky’s arms and saw Steve running toward you. Bucky’s alarmed face was the last thing you saw before your eyes involuntarily closed.
When you awoke the next day, you were alone in the med bay. You sat up and rubbed your eyes, trying to force out the lingering headache. You swung your legs over the side of the bed and were about to remove your IV when Bucky walked into your room.
“Hey, you’re awake,” he said as he approached you cautiously. “How are you feeling?”
“Um..really..hungover,” you cracked a smile trying to break the tension. “How long was I out?”
Bucky looked at his watch before responding, “About 23 hours.”
“Oh shit. New record.”
Bucky looked nervous. “We looked everywhere..”
“Not everywhere,” you retorted, sounding more bitter than you intended.
“I didn’t think I was going to see you again.”
“Well…that makes two of us.” Your eyes stayed trained on the floor. You couldn’t bring yourself to look at him. You spent weeks dreaming about seeing him again, and now you couldn’t even look at him. Why? Were you that angry that they couldn’t find you? They were obviously looking.
Bucky sensed that maybe this wasn’t the best time to broach the subject, so he changed it.
“So..uh…they want to do a debriefing on what happened as soon as you’re feeling well enough.”
You faltered. You didn’t want to talk about it, relive it. Especially so soon. But you’d rather get it over with so you can move on with your life. Put the whole ordeal behind you.
You looked down at the IV in your arm before ripping it out, the blood beginning to trickle down to your palm.
“Doll—what are you doing?” Bucky lunged toward you, grabbing gauze off the bedside table to apply pressure to the site.
You grabbed the gauze and took over applying pressure.
“I’m about to change my clothes,” you began glancing around the room before finding some in a bag below the bed, “so unless you want to see me naked, you can turn around.”
Bucky paused, mouth opening slightly before regaining his composure and turning to face away from you. You caught him off guard, which is honestly, something you’ve never seen happen.
You were a little disappointed. Maybe you’d been reading him wrong, and he doesn’t see you that way. Or maybe he’s just being a gentleman. This isn’t exactly the best time to explore your feelings for one another. Still, it stung.
………………………..
You sat at the table, nervously glancing at all the faces in the room. Fury, Tony, Steve, and Sam all had their eyes on you. Everyone except Bucky. He stood in the corner, holding his gaze to the floor.  He looked more nervous than you felt. Weird.
They asked their usual questions, and you answered as best you could. But you didn’t feel comfortable enough to go into extensive detail. You trusted these men with your life, but it was starting to feel less like a debriefing and more like an interrogation.
“…and you’re sure that’s all you remember?” Fury asked again.
You looked around the room again, each set of eyes seeming frustrated. Expecting more information than what you’ve provided for the last 2 hours. This was exhausting. A familiar headache was building behind your eyes, and you were beyond done with this.
When you didn’t answer right away, Tony asked another question. “They just let you walk away?” You could hear the blatant skepticism.
“I don’t know what you want me to say.” Tears were starting to fill your eyes. Damnit! This is not how you thought this would go, but you were feeling pressured, overwhelmed. “They tortured me! For weeks! The same damn thing. Over and over and over again! And I don’t know---maybe they thought I was DEAD!” You choked on a sob; tears streaming down your face now.
“Okay! That’s enough!” Bucky interjected, seemingly ending the questioning.
You quickly stood from your seat and rushed out of the room.
They all exchanged glances and Bucky lingered there silently for a moment before following you.
When he reached your room in the compound, he knocked, but you didn’t answer.
“Doll. It’s me. Can I come in?”
Again, you didn’t answer. He could hear your quiet cries. He tried the handle, but you had locked the door.
“Can you unlock the door, please?”
“Go away, Bucky,” you said, softly. You didn’t need to yell. You knew he could hear you.
“Come on. I just want to make sure you’re okay.” With that, he could hear you moving towards the door.
You angrily flung the door open, surprising Bucky and forcing him to take a step back. Your hair was disheveled, eyes red and still wet with tears.
“Do I look fucking okay to you!?!?” Bucky looked into your eyes, not knowing what to say.
“HYDRA imprisoned me, practically in our own fucking backyard and still no one came for me!”
“Y/N, I swear to you, we never stopped looking—”
“And as soon as I fight my way back here, you all grill me for information, like it was my fucking idea to get captured?”
“Doll, no one thinks this was—”
“I waited for—aagh—” the pain in your head suddenly flared. You squeezed your eyes shut and pinched the skin between them. Your discomfort was evident.
“Hey, hey. What is it? What’s wrong?” Bucky’s worried eyes searched your face for answers.
You tried to recover, to push the pain aside.
“I waited for you—AAGH” the pain peaked. The same blistering heat threatening to end you, keeled you over.
With your shaking hands on your knees, you could feel Bucky move to your side. His arms wrapped around your waist to support you.
“Doll, what’s going on? Answer me. Please!”
But you couldn’t answer him. You were back on that stretcher. A prisoner, again. All you knew was the burning pain. Maybe this time, it would spare you the torment and claim your life.
“SOMEBODY HELP! I NEED HELP!” Bucky’s voice sounded far away.
The fire swirled in your skull and bile burned the back of your throat. You lurched forward, fell to your knees, and vomited on the floor. Everything was suddenly black, then nothing.
You awoke once more, alone, in the med bay.  Well, not completely alone. You could hear talking, whispers. Just outside your door.
There’s something she’s not telling me. But I’m not going to try to force answers out of her. She’ll come to me when she’s ready. I’m just going to be her friend. That’s what she really needs right now.
Just a friend? You felt the blanket of disappointment weigh on you again. You were pulled from your thoughts when Bucky opened the door.
You kept your eyes on him as he carefully entered the room.
“Who were you talking to?”
“Huh?”
“Who were you talking to just now?” You tried not to sound like you were accusing him, but you didn’t like being talked about behind your back.
“I wasn’t talking to anyone,” Bucky shook his head, seeming to be genuinely confused.
Great. Now Bucky was lying to you. Some friend he’s trying to be. Even with him literally by your side, you were suddenly feeling very alone. No one trusted you. They think you’re hiding something. Truth be told, you are hiding something. You never told them about the injections, how the torture was actually “preparations”. You even left out the creepy lab guy coat because you were afraid. Afraid if they found out what really happened, that you were an experiment, they wouldn’t look at you the same way. You were afraid you would lose their hard-earned respect, your place on the team. You couldn’t risk it.
“So what happened?” he asked.
“What do you mean?”
“The pain? Passing out?” Bucky pressed, becoming serious. This felt like an interrogation again.
“Oh…it was just a headache,” you offered. Were you honestly expecting them not to ask?
“That’s bullshit. What happened to you? What did they do?” He seemed desperate and angry and you were becoming more and more guarded.
“I thought you weren’t going to force answers out of me.” You threw his words back in his face.
“What?”
“Nothing”
“What did you say just now?”
You were out of patience and just wanted to be alone. “Nothing. Please leave.”
Bucky stared at you, disbelieving, before turning his back on you and walking out the door.
A single tear slipped down your cheek. What the hell happened? Everything was fine. You were on a mission, business as usual, and then you were captured and tortured. You miraculously make it back home and suddenly, everyone is against you? You didn’t do anything wrong. Why is everyone acting like you’re at fault?  Your thoughts are becoming louder in your head, circling frantically and building tension. You clench your teeth, trying to hold in a scream, but you can feel an energy building inside you. You pull your knees to your chest, struggling to contain it. Your clenched fists pound at your temples. You don’t know what’s happening; you feel out of control, about to spill over. Explode.
Suddenly, you lose control, letting out an ear-piercing scream, releasing a force you had never felt before. All at once, glass bottles and cabinets shatter, the reinforced windows in your room crack. Furniture is thrown chaotically. Everything is broken, in a frightening disarray, and you’re left sitting in the ruins of what once felt like a safe place.
You tried to catch your breath, eyes darting around the room, attempting to make sense of what just happened.
Oh, God. Oh, God.  What did HYDRA do to you? What have you done? You needed to get out of there. Now. You jump to your feet, grab your clothes, and run. You shove past S.H.I.E.L.D. employees in the hallways, their thoughts intruding and overlapping with your own.  It took you a moment to realize what it was, what you were doing: unintentionally hearing their thoughts. You have to get away, get out. It’s too loud. You’re still running when you hear more familiar voices, but these aren’t in your head.
You can hear Bucky, Steve and Sam talking about what they found at the base where you were kept. Empty syringes. Medical equipment. Partially encrypted files describing some kind of experiment. They know—how could they not? Have they known this whole time?
“I don’t know what they did to her. She won’t tell me, but…she’s different.” Bucky spoke quietly.
Different? Is that how he saw you now? Is that why he’d been acting so strangely since you got back?
“Look man,” Sam reasoned, “she’s been through a lot. It would be weird if she wasn’t acting differently.”
“Still, if they did do whatever this experiment is on her, we don’t know what the outcome is…If she’s still herself, or even on our side,” Steve added.
Your heart dropped. You already felt like they didn’t trust you, which was bad enough, but now they’re against you? You waited for Bucky to defend you. He knows you better than anyone, but his silence spoke volumes. You thought Bucky, of all people, would understand what you’d been through. That you would never turn on them. You really were all alone in this. You felt the fear and uncertainty pouring out of the room.
Then, an unfamiliar voice on the intercom startled you.
Code Gray- Med Room 4. Code Gray- Med Room 4.
Shit. That was your room. Then the alarm started blaring and you ran. When did you become the enemy? How did this happen? You’re not part of HYDRA. You’re the victim. You managed to get out of the compound without anyone else seeing you. But you had no idea where to go from there.
Bucky, Steve, and Sam rushed to your med room. They stood there in disbelief, taking in the scene. It looks like a bomb went off.
“What the hell happened?” Sam asked.
“We’re not sure, sir. We, uh, heard a scream and when we got here, the room was empty,” a nurse answered.
“Where is she?” Bucky asked, growing impatient.
“We don’t know, I’m sorry,” the nurse responded before quicky leaving the room.
Steve and Sam exchanged looks. Bucky ran his fingers through his hair.
“Buck….”
“No.”
“We need to consider all the facts, here.”
“No, Steve! She wouldn’t do this. She’s not HYDRA.”
“Dude, she was missing for weeks and then just waltzed through the front door? That doesn’t seem odd to you?” Sam added.
“She didn’t waltz, Sam. She could barely walk, then she collapsed,” Bucky defended.
“So you think they just let her go? When the hell has HYDRA ever just let anybody go?”
“I don’t know.”
“Her story isn’t adding up, Buck.”
“They did something to her, she’s different. I just don’t know why she’d hiding it.”
“What do you mean? What aren’t you telling us?” Steve questioned.
“I think….whatever they did to her, worked. I thought it was a coincidence, at first, but then…this,” he motioned around the room. “I think she could hear what I was thinking earlier, and I think this is part of whatever she’s going through. I think she’s enhanced.”
They all looked around the room, letting Bucky’s theory sink it.
Steve broke the silence. “We need to find her before she hurts someone.”
You were walking against the cold wind and found yourself back at the shithole. You weren’t sure what you were doing there. Looking for answers, maybe? Waiting for them to find you? Like they were supposed to do. Before the injections, before they turned on you, before you lost control. What did they think of you now? You’re certain they must think you’re HYDRA. Fear and despair surged through you, and you started to lose control again. Objects that surrounded you started to rattle and lift into the air, crashing into walls.
You saw movement from the corner of your eye, emotions flaring even further. They had found you. Tears streamed down your cheeks, wetting the front of your sweatshirt.  You had already lost everything. They may as well take you now and put you in whatever floating prison they have. They marked you as guilty the moment you walked back into the compound.
“Y/N? Sweetheart, can you hear me?” Bucky approached you slowly, motioning to Steve and Sam to hang back.
You slowly turned to face him. Finally seeing his face broke you, and you started to cry harder. The cot beside you rattled along with desks and shelves, lifting off the floor, quaking violently, erratically. Bucky held up his hands, gesturing to you that he meant you no harm. And you wanted nothing more than to believe him, to melt into his arms.
As your emotions ran wild with fear and anguish, the chaos around you swelled. You shook your head trying to empty it of the intrusive whispers. You were ready to surrender. You just wanted all this to be over, but when you looked past Bucky to see Steve and Sam in their full Avenger gear, a realization hit you. They were here to fight you. Bucky noticed the change in your demeanor. You felt the energy inside you intensifying again. The building began to tremble.
“Y/N. Y/N! Look at me! You’re going to be okay. We’re here to take you home.” Bucky tried to reason.
“No. NO! You’re here to hurt me. You don’t trust me, think I’m HYDRA!”
“That’s not true. We’re your friends. We want to help you,” Bucky insisted.
“Help me? That’s why you brought Captain America and Falcon with you?!”
You were angry now. If they wanted to take you, it would have to be by force. That’s what they wanted. You looked back over at Bucky and noticed the light reflecting off the tears that gathered in his eyes. You felt like you were about to detonate.
“Sweetheart, please,” Bucky pleaded with you; His hand stretched out towards you, beckoning you to take it.
The building shook even more violently with the release of your emotions. Once again, objects cracked and shattered all around you, but this time, the entire building threatened to come down on top of all of you.
“I can’t. I can’t control it….” You looked to Bucky, desperate for all this to end.
As dust and debris rained from the ceiling, you heard the order.
TAKE HER! NOW!
You whipped your head to the side, catching sight of Redwing; you hadn’t noticed it there before, but it was too late. Two darts struck your neck, delivering a powerful sedative. You swayed on your feet for only a moment before going down hard. All the objects flying around the room, uncontrollably, crashed to the ground at once. The building stood still once again. Whatever they hit you with was strong. You couldn’t move, but yet, you weren’t completely unconscious.  You could faintly hear distorted commotion around you and your eyes felt heavy.
“Jesus Christ, Steve!” Bucky kneeled at your side to brush your hair from your face, wiping your tears in the process.
“I’m sorry, Buck. We had to. You heard her. She couldn’t control it.”
Bucky gently picked you up and held you close to his chest. You could tell he was walking, but your vision was starting to blur even more. Then you felt his breath on your ear as he whispered that you would be okay. You were safe now. They were going to fix this. You closed your eyes and allowed yourself to sink into the darkness.
THREE WEEKS LATER
“I don’t want to be a prisoner anymore, Bucky.”
“You’re not a prisoner.”
“Well, I can’t leave. That is the definition of prisoner, right?”
“Bruce thinks he’s close to a cure. He just needs a little more time.”
“You’ve been saying that for 3 weeks.”
Bucky offered you a half-hearted smile, but it was tainted with regret.
You were beginning to doubt their ability to fix you. Where would they even begin? You were just the result of another fucked-up half-assed HYDRA experiment.  They couldn’t cure you any more than they could cure Bucky or Steve of being super-soldiers. You know it. They know it. You just wish they’d stop blowing smoke up your ass.
Just then, Bruce appeared behind the reinforced glass doors, pressing his palm to the scanner to gain access to your room.
He approached your bed with the same half-hearted smile Bucky imparted.
“Hello, Y/N. How are you feeling today?” Bruce began, like he always did when starting his examinations.
“Fine. Normal. How’s the cure coming along?”
He hesitated for a moment, ignoring your question before continuing with his own.
“Any more headaches?”
“No. Not really.”
“Good, good. That’s good.” More hesitation.
“Just spit it out, Bruce.”
“Well, uh..” he fiddled with his clipboard, pretending to review his findings. “We did some genetic profiling and it looks like the experiment has altered your DNA in ways we’ve never seen before. Your brain scans are phenomenal.”
“That’s not exactly comforting….” You knew where this was going, even though you didn’t completely understand the science of it all.
“What does that mean?” Bucky leaned forward in his seat, prompting Dr. Banner to elaborate.
“Well, I’m afraid it means we can’t cure you.”
Bucky leaned back in his chair; the atmosphere in the room deflated. He didn’t even look at you. You knew this was coming but hearing it out loud and seeing Bucky’s dejected reaction only solidified your fears. There is no hope.
Dr. Banner continued, “The good news is that you seem to be adapting and stabilizing well.”
“Yeah, yeah…” You didn’t want to hear anything else. You weren’t even listening. All you can think about is how you’re no longer an Avenger and how Bucky won’t even look at you now. You lost him; your best friend, maybe more. Where do you go from here?
“I just have a few more questions for you,” Dr. Banner began again, “Are you still able to hear the thoughts of others?”
“Yes. But I can mostly block it out. It’s gotten easier.”
Dr. Banner smiled. “And there haven’t been any more incidents….” He held up his pen. “Can you move this towards you, please?”
You looked up from your lap and focused on the pen, gently floating it above the bed until it reached your grasp.
“Amazing…”
You wished Dr. Banner would be a little less enthusiastic. Your life, as you know it, is over and you’re not in the mood for this.
“Okay. I’m releasing you from my care.”
“Wait. What? When?” You stared at him in awe. Is he joking?
“Right now.” He gathered his notes and left the room, door unlocked.
You felt Bucky grasp your hand. His smile was bright as he waited for your thoughts to catch up.
“Come on. We have a mission,” he coaxed.
“I-I don’t understand,” you hesitated. “I didn’t think you wanted---I didn’t think anyone trusted me.”
“Sweetheart, we do trust you…and I’ll always want you. No matter what.” He squeezed your hand a little tighter. “We found the shitbags that took you…you ready to kick some ass?”
Your eyes lit up with excitement and determination. “I was born ready.”
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steddieas-shegoes · 6 months
Text
sometimes it's too real
for the @steddieholidaydrabbles warm up round 3 (prompt: Halloween) rated: T wc: 577 cw: some blood mentions (fake and real) tags: mention of Upside Down related trauma, hurt/comfort
🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃
Eddie thought it was a funny joke, and it was.
Like, to all of the others, it was hilarious.
But to Steve, it was a reminder of how close they came to losing Eddie, how close they were to his heart actually stopping, his skin going pale.
He knew it was ridiculous, so he choked out a laugh and found a way to keep busy.
Snacks were mostly prepped, drinks already on ice, decorations hung with the help of Eddie and Robin.
But he could always find something to clean, and tonight's victim was the kitchen sink. Anything to avoid seeing the fake blood dripping from Eddie's mouth and neck.
He should have known it would only work for a few minutes, Eddie being basically attached to his hip ever since they made the whole boyfriend thing official.
Eddie's arms wrapped around his waist, his hands settled on Steve's stomach.
"I vant to suck your blooooood," Eddie said in a silly accent, nipping at Steve's neck.
Any other time, Steve would giggle and let him do it, let it lead to a kiss on the lips or more.
But he couldn't erase the image of Eddie coughing up blood as he tried to hold onto Steve as he was carried out of the Upside Down. He couldn't erase the way Dustin was sobbing next to him, how Robin was trying to hold it together so that Dustin didn't sense her panic.
He knew if he turned to see Eddie now, he wouldn't see his costume, he'd see him dying.
"You okay, sweetheart? Need any help?" Eddie asked, slowly pulling away when he sensed that Steve wasn't in the mood to be silly with him.
"Fine. You can go back out there."
"I will if you tell me what's bothering you," Steve could hear the crossed arms in his tone.
"Nothing, Eds. Just want everything to be perfect for the kids."
That was true, and he knew Eddie believed that, but he also knew it wasn't everything and Eddie would absolutely know that, too.
"Is it something I did?" Eddie asked.
Steve turned to him, finally looking at him and resisting the urge to flinch.
He must not have succeeded because Eddie was pulling away quickly.
"It's just. It's the blood. I know it's fake and I know it's stupid and this is supposed to be fun and a joke, but just seeing you with blood is a lot," Steve explained, hating himself more by the second for ruining Eddie's fun.
"Stevie, why didn't you say something before? I can wash it off," Eddie turned towards the sink to do just that when Steve reached his hand out to stop him.
"No, I-"
"Stevie, I am not letting you suffer your way through trauma if I can do something to help."
Steve didn't have any response to that, so Eddie continued to run the water until it was warm, and started splashing some onto his face and scrubbing the evidence of fake blood away.
"The kids..."
"I'll just tell them some got in my mouth when I took a drink and it tasted gross and didn't wanna risk it happening again. They won't care, they're on sugar highs already."
Steve still felt stupid for letting this bother him, but when Eddie wrapped his arms around him and leaned in to kiss him softly, reassuringly, he knew it was fine.
Maybe next Halloween it would be a little easier.
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thecreelhouse · 3 months
Note
and what if i said “on your knees” prompt with st…s…ste…. oh i can’t even say it……
loml hello!!!!!!!!! 🥹 hope u like this bestie<3
———
“O-okay, you’re— you don’t have to—”
“I want to,” Shoving Steve against a filthy wall in some stranger’s house, you’re determined to make Steve think of something, anything else, other than being trapped in the Upside Down. “C’mon, Steve. I’m not fucking stupid. You’ve been staring at me non-stop lately. Any reason why?”
“Because you’re- you- well,” Steve is trying his hardest to be a gentleman. Or, whatever else is close to that at this point. After diving through the watergate, he’s shirtless and wrapped in bandages, and you’ve only got a mini-skirt on (Yeah, great fashion choice before doing anything related to this hell of a different dimension. Great job!), and somehow lost half your shirt in the process.
You’re not a believer in much, but you’re sure as hell this is fate, or something close, pressuring you to finally make Steve realize you like him just as much, if not more. With your hands holding his arms to his sides, you glance up at him with the biggest gaze, one that sets off the storm awaiting inside him.
It’s the same stare he’s dreamed of time and time again, staring up at him while you’re choking on his cock.
“We could be stuck here for a very long time, y’know.” You purr, running your hands up his sides, careful as your fingertips run over his bandages. “The others are at Nancy’s anyway. We got time to kill. I literally saw you palming yourself when we were walking down the street away from the group— dude, please tell me you’re aware you weren’t that sneaky. You know that, right?”
“I— I don’t want to be mean.” Is all he can bring himself to say, but you laugh, startling him.
“Steve? As much as I love when you’re a gentleman, I’d fuckin’ love to see the old you tell me what to do. C’mon, babe, I know it’s still in you.”
You’re both the worst and best thing to happen to Steve Harrington. You’ve been such a badass through this entire adventure— it’s what you’re calling it, not him— and now you’re begging for King Steve to make a special appearance, boss you around and maybe make you cry, if he’s lucky. He wishes that thought alone, the idea of you crying while he’s ruining you, didn’t make his dick so goddamn hard. You realize how conflicted he looks, wanting to be respectful, wanting to treat you like a person, not just another piece of ass he’s chasing for one night only. You also see the way his eyes darken when you ask him to be his old self, to be mean to you, and you’re determined to lure that part out of him.
“I’m a big girl, I can tell you to stop if I need. Promise, Steve.” You’re hoping this helps, it comes off as begging, like he’s in control, but you’ve got the reins here, even if it’ll all be in his favor. “C’monnnnn, you nearly died, don’t you wanna—“
Steve’s fingers wind through your hair, soft at first, but once he has the handful he was searching for, his grip tightens, hard. You whine at the way he tugs your head up closer to his, nearly meeting him at eye level, but you’re on your tippy toes regardless.
“Nearly died saving your sorry ass. We nearly fucking died, and all you can think of is getting off? Seriously?” Steve’s eyes drop to your lips, pouting with need. “Open.”
Your eyes widen at the way he’s switched so suddenly, mouth falling open on his command. He spits into your mouth, thriving over the sight of you gagging on his own spit, without even kissing you. “That enough? Or you need more?”
Unsure what he was asking this for, you shrug, pussy throbbing as he tugs harder on your locks. “Heard you had the best mouth in our class, wanna prove it?”
Dizzy, you nod softly, in awe of how quick it was for him to jump back into his old ways. “Please? Can I?” A mixture of his spit and yours spills between your lips, right onto yourself. He watches the mess you make with a smirk, one that would’ve killed you back in high school, and still kills you now.
“Only ‘cause you sound so goddamn pathetic right now.” Steve loosens his grip on your hair, but has enough of a hold to push you towards the floor. “On your knees, honey. You said we got time to kill, don’t fuckin’ waste it.”
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astermath · 10 months
Text
unexpected guest *ੈ✩‧
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pairing: steve harrington x fem!reader
summary: steve isn’t too pleased when you come home with a stray kitten. money is tight, you’re both working full time, and he was never too fond of cats to begin with. somehow, you manage to convince him to keep it anyways.
word count: 1.7K
tags: established relationship, steve and reader are living together in Indianapolis, normal sized font below the cut!
notes: been a little unmotivated recently but nothing motivates me like imagining steve harrington holding a cute animal tbh. he always struck me as a dog type, but I feel like he’d enjoy cats too. thanks to @inkluvs for helping me decide on a title and rambling with me &lt;3
let me know if you’d like to be added to the tag list for further steve harrington related content! requests are open!
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The pitter patter of heavy rain made for an eerie symphony outside the apartment you shared with Steve. The air is foggy, humid, and it usually wouldn't make him feel this unsettled. No, in fact, he quite likes the rain. When he's inside at least, cuddled up with you on the couch to inevitably watch whatever you wanted on the TV.
But the apartment is empty, at an hour when it normally shouldn't be. Steve's eyes find the faint red glow of the oven's clock; you should have been home an hour ago. Worry settles in his stomach at the thought of all the reasons you could possibly be late. Maybe you were stuck somewhere, kidnapped, or worse.
His socked feet tread along your hardwood floor, pacing with his lip caught under his teeth. Steve knows you’re a capable woman who can handle herself, but you’re never late. He knows you’re always getting home as fast as you can, having missed him and your lovely apartment all day.
He's already reaching for the phone to call you when he hears the familiar jingle of your keys behind the door. A feeling of intense relief washes over him when you open the door and he's met with your beautiful appearance. Wet, messy, and disheveled, but beautiful.
He wastes no time, strong arms winding around you as soon as your coat is off, face buried in your soaked hair.
You chuckle, awkwardly shuffling one of your arms from in between the embrace to rub over his back.
"You're late." He mumbles into the crown of your head, before pressing a kiss into it.
"I know, I'm sorry, I just got really held up at work."
Steve frowns at your excuse. Your boss is really nice, and you're usually never back late. Plus, it's a Tuesday, the café you work at couldn't have been that busy, right?
That's when he notices your other hand, clutching a bag filled with what at first glance seems like random stuff and a blanket.
"Whatcha got there, hm?" He pulls away slightly, head tilting to motion to your mystery bag.
"Oh, nothing," you try your best at a convincing smile, "just some leftovers from work." You swallow, and when you meet your boyfriend's eyes he's giving you that look. It's the same one he gives you when you ate the last bit of ice cream, or when you try to get out of running errands. You suck at lying, you're both well aware of that.
The silence is broken when a soft, squeaky noise erupts from the bag. Your feeble attempt at covering it up with a forced cough is apparently not enough, because Steve is now reaching for the bag, wanting to see for himself what you'd brought in with you.
"N-No, Steve!" You pull your arm away, careful not to shuffle the bag around too much. Whatever was inside was probably fragile, he thought. "It's a, uhm... It's a-- a surprise!" You try to sneak past him to head to your bedroom, but he stops you by wrapping his arms around your waist from behind.
"Honey," he leans his head down so his lips are close to your ear. If you weren't so focused on covering up what was in the bag, you were sure your knees would have buckled at the sound of his sultry voice, "you're gonna tell me what's in the bag, alright?"
Your shoulders drop slightly, a defeated sigh emitting from you as you turn around. "Will you promise not to get mad?"
"Sugar..." His brows furrow, already worried about what's it going to be.
"I'm serious," you look up at him with puppy eyes, "promise?"
He sighs, running a hand through his hair. He could never deny you anything when you were looking at him like that. "Fine, promise. Just-- Just show me, alright?"
You crouch down, taking off the blanket that was pretty much drenched from the rain to reveal a box. You're really careful, hands a little shaky, and Steve's curiosity grows by the second.
Finally, you open up the box. He has to squint for a moment, not sure what he's seeing exactly, so he crouches down across you to have a better look.
In the corner of the box is a tiny lump of black fur, mewling surprisingly loud for its small size. Its blue eyes are almost entirely overtaken by the size of its pupils, and it's shaking a little from what he can only assume to be the cold.
"Baby, where did you--"
"Side of the road." You reached out to run a single finger under the kitten's chin, and it wobbles a little from the contact. It couldn't be more than a few weeks old. "It was all alone, sopping wet and shivering." You sniffle, and Steve's heart nearly shatters at the sight of you tearing up over it.
"It probably wouldn't have survived if I didn't do anything," a stray tear rolls down your cheek, "so I took it to the vet for an emergency checkup, got some wet cat food, and-- I don't know, I just... Look at it, Stevie."
The small feline stares at him, not scared, just curious as to who this large creature in front of it is. Steve frowns, resisting the urge to pet it before he starts to grow an actual attachment to it.
"Honey, you know we can't keep it..."
"Why not?" You sound hurt, but you know all the reasons why. First of all, Steve doesn't even like cats. He's always been a dog person, wanting to live out his six children fantasy with a golden retriever as a pet one day. Second of all, money is tight. You both work your asses off trying to save up for a better place someday, an actual house, and a pet can bring a lot of unforeseen costs with it. Yet something in you remains hopeful. That something is also aware of the effect you have on your boyfriend, and how convincing you can be.
He gives you a thin lipped smile in an attempt to comfort you, but you're not meeting his eyes. You're too focused on the little blessing in front of you, that you've already secretly named; Olive.
Steve tries to lean in and hug you, but suddenly, the kitten jumps out of the box and onto his lap. He feels its little baby claws go straight through the fabric of his sweatpants, wincing slightly at the feeling as he attempts to capture the little rascal in his hands. To no avail, as little Olive keeps climbing up his lap and onto his sweatshirt. It's surprisingly fast, for how tiny it is.
"H-Hey, come on now, this is my favorite sweater! You're puttin' holes in it you little demon!" Steve seems a little frazzled, not sure how to delicately handle an animal this small. It seems so tiny and fragile, yet it’s jumping around like it’s Spider-man or something.
You watch as your boyfriend continuously tries to remove the kitten from clawing at his sweater, and though you’re trying to be serious about convincing him and all that, it’s kind of hard when you’re looking at just about the cutest thing you’ve ever seen. You’re already so weak for the sight of Steve by himself, let alone accompanied by an adorable little cat.
Eventually he gets a hold of Olive, holding her up with his hands as it tries to gnaw at his fingers. “Oh you’re totally staying in air jail now young lady.” He glances over at you. “She’s a girl cat right?”
You nod, and he can tell you’re holding back your laugh.
“What?”
You snort. “Nothing, just— for someone who doesn’t want a cat, you already seem pretty attached.”
“Wha— I— Ow!” he winces when Olive starts digging her sharp little fangs into his thumb. He doesn’t let go of her though, still holding her up with a gentle grip. “I don’t know what you’re talking about, I’m just— disciplining her for the next person to get her.”
“Mhm, totally.” You grin, reaching out to pet the little black lump of fur he’s holding. She seems to respond much calmer to your touch. “Maybe… You wouldn’t be opposed to the idea of fostering her then?” You look up with those same puppy eyes again, and Steve thinks this is probably the deadliest combo he’s ever witnessed. Not only does he have to deal with your pleading gaze, but it’s now accompanied by the cutest little animal too. He’s only human, after all.
He sighs, carefully setting Olive back down into her box. He just looks at her for a second, surprised at how full of life she is. He always thought cats were lazy and indifferent to their surroundings, but this little one was practically bouncing off the walls.
“No—“ he starts.
“But Stevie!”
“Uh uh uh!” he holds up a finger, halting your sounds of protest. “You didn’t let me finish, sugar.”
You huff, rolling your eyes.
“I was gonna say, no,” he reaches out a single finger to scratch under Olive’s chin, “because I have a feeling we’re just going to keep her anyways.” His eyes return to yours, and he can see the hopeful glint in your expression. “You really like her, don’t you?”
You nod, smiling warmly. “Do you?”
“Well,” he wiggles finger, watching how she tries to play with it, “maybe she’s growing on me a little.”
“You love her.” You grin.
“Well, what can I say, I got a lot of love to give.” He reaches out his arm to pull you close, wrapping around your shoulder and planting a kiss on your head. You both just sit there on the floor for a while, playing with your newfound pet until she gets all tuckered out.
“You know,” you speak softly, not wanting to wake her up, “I’m really glad you agreed to keep her.”
Steve smiles, eyes still watching Olive sleep so peacefully. The contrast to her previous hyper activeness is stark. “Yeah? Why’s that?”
“Well,” You leaned your head against his shoulder. “I have a feeling she’s going to fit in here well. Like a little family.”
His heart swells with warmth at the word ‘family’. You know that means a lot to him, and in a way, he agrees. It’s a great first step to building something more akin to a home.
“And… Maybe I already got her chipped and registered at the vet before I got here.”
He rolls his eyes. “Of course you did.”
“Love you.” you chuckle, knowing he’s going to forgive you for your impulsiveness either way.
He kisses your head once more. “Love you too.”
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tag list <3
@palmtreesx3
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luveline · 9 months
Note
Oh my gosh Zombie!steve holds a special place in my heart. Please write more for this Drabble series
thank you for reading!! steve zombie!au —you and steve reunite after a morning apart. 1k, fem!reader
Steve's sitting by the fire unawares when you drape the spare blanket over his shoulders. His hair, wet from a quick scrub in the stream, has soaked the collar of his shirt. The blanket is a welcome warmth, your doting moreso. 
He puts his makeshift bookmark between the pages of his book and follows your face as you sit with him. The apocalypse and subsequent lack of movies has turned him into a bookworm through necessity. He worries about things too much if he has nothing to do, and lately that's always the case. 
"Hello," you say, crossing your legs. Your knee bumps into his. "Sorry. Hey. What chapter are you on?" 
He flips the pages until he finds the chapter header. "Chapter twenty five." 
"You're getting quick," you say. 
It's weird to him that after so many confessions, days spent in one another's arms, nights laying between each other's thighs, you still hesitate sometimes before touching him. You know how much he loves you, and you waver. 
"We could start reading them together again."
"I go too fast." Your eyes widen in recognition. "But you're quicker now." 
He doesn't mind missing the last few lines of each page if it means you'll lean your head against his arm for a couple of hours every night. Your breath warms his collarbones. Your cheek soft and smushed to his rigid shoulder. 
"Way quicker." 
He thinks you're beautiful. It might be hurtful to say you aren't everyone's type, and it's not that he felt he had to warm to you before you became his type or anything, but you have something about you that he loves. Maybe it's purely the way you smile at him, that silly devotion poorly smothered (that he hopes you'd find reflected by him), or maybe it's your eyes. Maybe it's the way you speak to him, half the time like you're worried he won't talk back, and the other half like you're the same person thinking all the same things. He's hungry for every thought you have. 
Beautiful, and he loves you. Steve couldn't be more sure about it, and everyday it gets worse. He wonders if it'll ever stop, or if one day he's going to wake up next to you and choke on air, astounded by the chances of it all. How did you manage to find him? What luck was it of his to get to keep you despite his bad behaviour? He knows he was never as kind as he should've been to start with.
He looks at you and he thinks, Fuck, she's pretty. 
Steve tosses his book down into the packed dirt and just stares at you. You look back unabashed for a handful of seconds he savours. 
"Do I have something on my face?" you ask. 
"No," he murmurs. "You're just beautiful." 
Your eyebrows thread together at the starts, a wrinkle creasing the skin between them. You don't believe him, your lips puckering into a small frown.
"Why do you say stuff like that?" you ask. 
"I really, really think it's true. That's why. I can't not look at you without thinking about it. Even when we're dirty and starving and smell like hot garbage," he says, shrugging gently. "You're beautiful." 
"You've been reading too many romance books."
"I get that it sounds weird," he says. "Doesn't make it less true. You're beautiful." 
"That's enough," you say with a grin. "Stop. If Eddie hears you saying that he'll make fun of you forever." 
Steve gives you a fake shove. "Sorry, I'm confessing my love and the first thing you bring up is my arch nemesis?" 
You wince though he's only kidding, more than aware of his Eddie Munson related jealousy. You both talk about everything without punches pulled these days, and you've assured him he's the only one for you, but he'd quite like to hear it again. 
"Sorry, that's my bad," you say, shuffling closer to him. You put your arm behind his back and kiss his shoulder, warmth unfurling from the contact despite the shirt and blanket between it. "I think you're handsome, too, but you know that. Beside the fact that I'd never really been naked in front of someone before, those early days were torture for me 'cus I thought you were, like, the handsomest guy I went to school with." 
"Just school?" 
"No," you mumble, crossing your free arm over his stomach, nestling yourself under his arm. "Handsomest guy ever." 
He dips his head to touch his nose to the top of your head. 
"I love you," you say, scrunching his shirt in your hand. 
"Yeah, I love you, too. How was work?" 
"Bah. How was your day off?" 
Steve likes getting time off at camp, but it's pointless when you're not off with him. "Wasted. Missed you stupid, helped out with the kids at lunch anyways, spent the rest of it on that shitty book." 
"It's no good?" you ask. 
He loves your voice. It shoots through him like a spark, your genuine, lilting concern. 
"Shit. I don't think I wanna finish it."
"Skip to the end and go get a new one," you suggest. 
He closes his eyes and breathes in the smoky air of the campsite. You have this effect on him —of many— where you can quieten a hectic place. You sit down next to him and suddenly he's not sitting a ways off from the fire in the middle of the Michigan woodland, he's with you. Plain and simple. 
"I will." 
"Maybe I can help you vet some? Make sure you get one you enjoy this time. Or we can trade some of our credits for a new pack of cards. I'll teach you how to play speed."
"After you tricked me into being bad at gin rummy? Nah, you're okay." 
You force his head up as you lift your own, pinning him with your tender gaze. "You like losing. You do, you always say I have to kiss it better." 
He's a simple man. A kiss from his girl is all he needs. "Maybe we should get a pack of cards," he says smugly. 
You shake your head at him, but you're beaming. 
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