#and i feel like i’m always late to these “self discovery” (i can’t think of a less cringey way to describe it) things | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

tgmsunmontue · 1 month

Text

More than movie magic... 7/?

Hangster AU. Explicit (eventually). Jake is a Hollywood actor and Bradley is a stunt coordinator. Jake's about to make a few self-discoveries. So is Bradley.

ONE TWO THREE FOUR FIVE SIX

Jake arrives late, so late it might even be early, he doesn’t even know what time it is, but he’s exhausted, his feet feel like they have lead weights attached to them as he walks from his car towards his parents’ house. The porch light is on and when he sees the kitchen light flick on, he knows he’s woken someone else up with his arrival. Too late to do anything about that now. The light in the entry way flicks on and he scrunches his face at the sudden bright light, looks through squinted eyes and sees the bright purple of his mom’s dressing gown.

“Hey mom…”

“Honey, we didn’t expect you to get home tonight.”

He withstands the hugs, the pats to the face and then another hug, like she has to reassure that every part of him is there and in one piece.

“Yeah, I probably should have stayed somewhere, I’m pretty beat.”

“Jake,” she says, and it’s laced with care and disappointment in equal measure, and he knows he’ll never look after himself quite the way she wants him to. “Come on, you go have a shower. I’ll bring your bag in.”

“I can do that mom.”

“I don’t think you’re going to manage staying awake in the shower, so how about you go prove me wrong on that account, hmm?”

He huffs in amusement and does as he’s told. He’s glad he’s here for the next couple of months, all the comforts of being at home but also working. It’s going to be a weird sort of working vacation, although he’s glad he has a back-up trailer organized for when he start going stir-crazy from living with his parents again. He knows himself well enough to know that his limit is usually a couple of weeks. He showers, and he won’t ever admit to his mom that he does indeed doze a little under the spray. His bed feels luxurious after weeks of staying in hotel rooms and he’s asleep as soon as his head hits the pillow.

He wakes the next morning and burrows back under the covers. He has a read-through that afternoon, timed for after his arrival that was meant to be later this morning. They really aren’t expecting him until after lunch today so he could just… hide away this morning. God it’s tempting. His bags are sitting at the end of his bed and he doesn’t really need anything in them, his bedroom here fully set-up as a home away from his home in LA.

He can spy the sunny day outside and he knows he can’t lie around in bed all day, swings his legs out and kicks off the sheet as it twists around his bare leg. Riding. He could go riding. Yeah, that’s even better than staying in bed. He pulls on some of his older clothes, worn and comfortable, already looking forward to the familiar ache he knows a couple of hours of riding will bring him. He needs to get used to riding every day as soon as possible.

His dad is sitting in the kitchen, quietly sipping his morning coffee and he stands to give Jake a hug when he sees him. He pours himself his own cup and enjoys the quiet, his dad isn’t given to speaking when there’s nothing to be said and they spoke on the phone only a few days ago.

“I’m just going to go and ride. I’ll be back for lunch.”

“Hmm. It’s good to have you home. Enjoy the ride.”

Jake grins and grabs his hat, still hanging near the backdoor and placing it on his head before heading for his parents’ stable where they keep the family horses. The ones his mom has a sentimental attachment to for whatever reason. His horse, Dasher, long ago retired and now gone for a couple of years isn’t there, but he does a double take because there is a horse in the stall that his parents always called his. Written on the board out front is Blitzen and he knows that Dasher must have been her dam, too similar to not be even if the name wasn’t a damn give-away. It’s clearly meant to be a surprise for him and he wonders instantly how she handles. God it’s going to be good to find out.

He brushes her down and then saddles her up and everything Is laid out perfectly, like they were waiting for him, knowing he’d immediately want to get out and go riding. He swings himself up and heads outside, settling into the rhythm of riding and he can’t wait to go a little faster, she was put in his stall for a reason. He enters the arena and of course it’s full of people, he can’t do any serious practice with all these people milling about and he can see Javy and Callie, both riding horses and looking comfortable, which is a big improvement considering Javy had rung him and bitched him out about having to learn to ride a horse after all their years of friendship.

Oh.

Bradley’s here.

Of course he’s here. Jake asked for him. Well, suggested.

He hadn’t calculated for any of this. Seeing Bradley on a horse, that’s… okay, none of this is a normal reaction and he’s clearly still just as intrigued, obsessed, infatuated… Fucked if he knows. God he wants him. So much. He’s allowed to want him, but he can’t act on that if Bradley isn’t available. Asking is just too… awkward. Blatant. He’s used to other people making the first move, being more interested in him. He’s not sure if the fact that Bradley isn’t or doesn’t seem interested is part of the appeal, but he doesn’t think so. Bradley just being himself, capable and confident just turns him on. A lot. Too much for his own good.

“Bradley. Hi. You look pretty comfortable.”

“Jake… Hi. Yeah, she’s a smooth ride.” Jake bites back the immediate retort of saying he’ll show him a smooth ride, and god, it’s like he’s in a bar flirting with a guy, rather than at work and needing to be professional. He really needs to get a grip, remind himself he’s here to work. Even if he’s in the one place where he’s the most comfortable, the one place he’s never felt he needed to hide or hold back, he needs to hold himself back from Bradley Bradshaw.

PART EIGHT

#Hangster #Sereshaw #more than movie magic #Top Gun Maverick

28 notes · View notes

stuckinapril · 2 months

Note

i saw ur post on how there isnt rlly a big arab figure, and wow like. i think that if i had been younger and saw just one or two arab people on tv in a positive way, it would have helped me a LOT. like yeah. There ISNT a big singer or character or actor or model that’s arab. And now im sitting here wondering how many kids are going to be sitting and watching tv and just blocking out their arab heritage and culture because then they wouldnt be like their favorite singer or wtver.

Exactly. Exactly exactly exactly. I’ve full chest said this before, but I wasn’t always as attached to my Arab heritage as I am now. I actually grew up pretty distant from it all around, and it’s only in recent years that I started making a concerted effort to delve into it. And I can’t even blame it on my mom tbh, like I grew up in a lax household that allowed for ample self-expression. It was always the outside world that would make a little Arab girl like me question the worth of her ethnic roots—especially when Arabs are painted as terrorists at worst and as monocultural heathens at best where I’m from (hint: the USA). There is so much to unpack w being raised American but being ethnically Iraqi!! Because that means I literally hail from two countries!! A country that’s thirsty and a country that’s on fire!! But that’s a whole other loaded topic I could write a separate dissertation on.

I’d always have toxic thought loops like “I don’t look Arab enough” “I’m not religious but all the Arab girls I know are Muslim” on and on and on. And like I said in that ask, there was never an Arab American A lister for me to kind of have a frame of reference w. This is specifically an Arab issue too I feel like, bc a lot of brown people do have that star-studded figure to look up to growing up. We do not.

It’s kind of why I decided to be that for myself. I don’t need a cool Arab girl celebrity who’s into fashion or music. I’ll be that. I don’t need an Arab academia girl character. I’ll be that too. There’s no such thing as not looking Arab enough bc Arabs are so diverse. It’s okay that I’m not religious bc Arab culture is not solely defined by religion, and even if it were Arabs are not a hive mind and everyone engages w their culture in vastly different ways (which is okay!! It doesn’t make me any less Arab). I’ll literally just discard other people’s preconceived notions and trailblaze my own path!! I’ll be my own Arab girl representation. I refuse to fit myself into any preexisting mold. I like what I like and the rest just falls into place.

I think that’s why I’ve been so vocal about my Iraqi heritage lately… I’m literally healing my relationship w my roots in real time. Even advocating for Palestine is feeding into that in major ways. It’s legit all coming together for the first time in my life. Now I’m so proud to be Arab—to be Iraqi—that the idea that anyone could shame me for it is as incredulous as it is hilarious. Iraq is literally called the Cradle of Civilization & you want to make me feel BAD for being Arab… for being Iraqi… it’s just impossible bc I can’t imagine myself being anything else. I’m so content to have my multicultural background and to be who I am. I wouldn’t trade it for the world.

It’s also cool that I have people following me, that they could also be exposed to diverse facets of Arab culture bc of that, but tbh a lot of this is also purely for me. I want the Iraq tag to be flooded w beautiful Iraqi poetry and beautiful Iraqi art and beautiful Iraqi cinema as I familiarize myself w Iraqi culture more and more, bc there’s so much more to it than the Iraqi War stats that pop up when you look it up on here.

I’m a 21 year old girl AND I’m Arab. That’s literally double the self-discovery to work through. Fortunately I think I’m finally cultivating a strong sense of self, so I really don’t think anything anyone has to say could deter me from my path (whether it be in terms of reconnecting w the beauty of my Arab heritage or legit just growing into my own). It’s not always perfect by any means, but I’ve made so much headway. And absolutely nothing could take away from that.

#I had a LOT of thoughts on this but thank u for giving me the opportunity to rly unravel this anon <3 <3 <3 #I still have a lot of things to go to therapy for lmao but suppressing my Arab roots is absolutely one thing I’ll never have to talk about #the confused Arab girl who was disconnected from her heritage is DEAD give me all the Iraqi history books I want to devour them all #ask #arab tag

30 notes · View notes

valyrfia · 23 days

Note

RE: this ask

Sorry about to go off on one, gender studies and online fan culture from an academic standpoint is a special interest of mine because being film and literature student wasn't annoying enough (participatory culture studies my beloved)

From a general standpoint, I think the reason M/M ships in fiction have always been more popular is because male characters are historically more developed and complex. I think it’s only in recent years have their been an influx of popular F/F ships, with the added development of women on screen (e.g Clarke and Lexa, Kara and Lena, Regina and Emma, Nancy and Robin) - I think there is also a point to be made this has coincided with gender expression, genderqueerness and more general knowledge of being outside the typical gender spectrum.

I can’t explicitly say that being in M/M fandom spaces encouraged my personal discovery of being transmasc but it certainly helped to have an avenue where I could project onto these “male” characters and see myself in them. I was so uncomfortable in my own body and what I didn’t know at the time as dysphoria, I can see why I didn’t go for F/F ships.

There are of course a lot of “fandom elders” but young (early to late teens) afab people do make up a large bulk of it and I get why it may be easier for them to fixate on M/M ships as a, sort of method of exploring their own sexuality and gender expression. F/F ships may hit too close to home and F/M ships are what they are trying to escape from so it leaves M/M ships to project onto. Which, unfortunately then can become warped by the persons own comphet and/or binary ideas about gender.

A male character may have more stereotypically “feminine” traits (in terms of interests or emotional reactions) and I can see why people who also have those traits would project there own insecurities onto them, reinforcing the feminisation of the male character but not being comfortable enough in your own gender expression to genderbend the character or write them as trans.

It’s the same reason I think mafia romance, dark romance etc etc is so popular with cishet women because they can read about a fantasy where instead of the very real every day misogyny and violence they face leading to abuse, assault and death, it brings “positives” ; protected, loved, a happy relationship.

Which, side note. I think this has A Lot to do with y/n, self insert fics becoming “cringe”. Because, I think a lot of people just want to fuck/date a character and feel like they can’t write a self insert anymore, so just project massively onto one character, leading to a lot of these issues. I don’t think Tony Stark/Peter Parker would be as popular as it is if people just let young women write their self insert fic about being Tony Stark’s sugar baby and then we wouldn’t have the wildly mischaracterised version of Peter Parker that we do!

But, all this being said. I’m talking about fiction. Dean Winchester isn’t actually affected if people online only talk about him in a stereotypically “female” way.

RPF is a different kettle of fish (and I’m not going in RPF ethics that’s different - I have no issues with rpf creators/consumers to be clear, I am one) because a real person does become affected. Even if you are keeping your fan works and discussions to private spaces, it can leach over into how you speak about the actual person. That’s where it becomes so incredibly important to remember that your RPF version of celebrities are just as fictional as Dean Winchester is.

sorry I used mr. supernatural as an example, 13 year old me is still alive and kicking in my head somewhere.

I love to hear your perspective on it with a trans worldview (and academic credentials), and I do agree that that might be a big driver of some young people only wanting to engage with MLM fic and feeling uncomfortable with WLW fic. You've brought up so many great points so I'll try and address them all.

I can add the perspective of a lesbian who was closeted for the first two decades of my life, came out less than five years ago, and still struggles on and off with comphet now. MLM fics in my teens were a way to consume queer content and relationships without having to think about the implications of enjoying consuming WLW content, and I think that's true for a lot of young closeted teens so it's no surprise that some comphet/hetnorm/cisnorm stuff bleeds through there because it's a framework the authors haven't managed to detach themselves from yet.

But yeah, I agree the issue lies with people wanting characters to be self-inserts partially so that they can experience sex, sexuality, and romance without any of the hang ups of thinking about patriarchy. And I agree with your solution: make y/n fics cool again! The ability we have to hallucinate while we read is magic! You can put YOURSELF in as a character's love interest, how cool is that?

Ultimately, yeah. There's nothing wrong with RPF as long as it isn't actually affecting the person that the RPF is based off, but I've seen a lot of takes escaping containment so to say (ie. leaving this website) with takes about the actual racers so obviously picked up through RPF. The main culprits are Charles, Lando, Max in my experience.

#You always send the longest and most thought out asks and I really don't know how to answer them because you're so eloquent #thank you for your POV!#enigmabird #asks #charles in makeup and lace discourse #hate it slightly too late to change it now

23 notes · View notes

o-wild-west-wind · 6 months

Text

I said I was done taking on baffling takes but I saw a really popular blog’s post against my will and it spun me into “please give me whatever drugs you’re on” mode so I’m giving myself a pass because unfortunately I can’t control myself around a good hill it’s like catnip for me: apparently—as I’ve just now learned—no characters other than Izzy had an explicitly queer arc of self-discovery and expression in this show! which is wild to me, because…come to think of it….maybe they’re…..right? I mean. I can’t believe they would make a show about a gay relationship in which the literal main character wasn’t responsible for the entire premise by leaving his heteronormative life behind to become a pirate and slowly come to find love, family, meaning, and self-actualization in a queer community! at least give his romantic interest an arc where he feels suffocated by a culture of violence and toxic masculinity so he goes through the ringer of highs and lows in which he finally finds balance and starts healing via queer love and found family…I mean, what were they THINKING to give the only queer arc in this show to Izzy and then kill him, smh. that’s the literal definition of burying your gays….idk what to tell you? (/s for legal purposes)

my dudes: you can be sad that your fave died without making it weird. stop watching the show if you don’t like it anymore. write fanfic in a different direction. you’re allowed!!! but can we PLEASE stop diluting what actual homophobia means because it’s not a silly gotcha for your blorbo dying and if you’re jumping through this many hoops to make that make sense, you MIGHT just be perpetuating what you’re claiming so loudly to denounce. because pretending the non-traditionally masculine and the non-white canonically gay LEAD characters don’t exist in favor of your fanon takes of the guy who for a whole season bullies those same characters for showing effeminate traits and then claiming THEM as a lack of gay rep isn’t a good look (and also just makes no sense. WHAT). rue ponder that long and hard. & if you think the show failed you for killing the “only” character with a late-realized queer self discovery arc…rewatch the pilot a few times, and if it’s still not clicking, honest to god you just don’t like this show as the show it is and has always been so please stop ruining it for the rest of us thanks ✌️

#enjoy Izzy without acting like Izzy challenge #it’s possible I promise!!!#I’m not surprised but I’m still just unbelievably confused #okay NOW I’m done gnite lovers #ofmd #ofmd season 2 #ofmd s2 spoilers #ofmd spoilers #our flag means death #ofmd fandom crit

26 notes · View notes

foibles-fables · 8 months

Note

Hello! I hope this is okay, you gave great advice to a nonny a while back so I was wondering if you could maybe help me too. I’m kind of a late bloomer and didn’t realise I was gay until my mid twenties. And now I’m scared of starting to date girls because I have zero experience and I always feel like everyone expects me to have it all figured out because I’m 26 and I really don’t. Talking to girls still makes me nervous and I’m not super confident in my sexuality so putting myself out there is just really hard because I feel like I can’t live up to everyone’s expectations and won’t learn how to properly ’be gay’. If that makes sense. Do you maybe have some advice for me? :/

Hi nonny!!! First, let me say how unbelievably PROUD I am of you for starting to figure out your authentic self. ❤️❤️❤️ It's a huge and daunting feat, so if nobody has told you that yet--including yourself--I want to make sure you know that someone is!

I've found that for queer people--especially queer/lesbian women, which is an assumption I'm making from the language you used in your ask, please correct me if this isn't the case--age isn't necessarily correlative to romantic/sexual/relationship experience at all. Everyone's path of self-discovery and queerness is different. "I'm 26, therefore I should be Better At This" might sound right in your brain--but objectively, it's not so correct when you look beyond the heteronormative expectations of heteronormative society. Realizing and then embracing your sexuality can be really hard and takes time, and I think a lot of people share your feelings and fears about being a late bloomer (especially in any offline communities you might be a part of!).

My best advice is to be kind to yourself! This is a brave and vulnerable thing you're doing. There's no "proper" way to be gay. I very much understand the pressure you're feeling, but try to think of your sexuality as an aspect of yourself instead--not something you have to learn from or prove to anyone else. You are gay, and you are you. Simply for that, you're already exceeding expectations. That's the bottom line. ❤️

Putting yourself out there is so so so scary, and I want to validate that! But sometimes, if you're in a safe environment and feeling into somebody, the only way to do it is to do it scared. It might take a little practice and a little time! But I think you'll find that approaching someone as your genuine, gay, maybe even nervous self will benefit you to no end.

My ask box and DMs are ALWAYS open, and I wish you the very best of everything!! Be good to yourself! ❤️❤️❤️

#sending so much love and light your way!!#you can do it and i'm proud of you!

25 notes · View notes

brasideios · 9 months

Text

I really should stop paying attention to the AI stuff but this is seriously getting to me; so much so that I’m considering quitting writing altogether.

I’ve been digging into my thoughts about this lately and I wanted to break it down a little here; to explain to myself, as well as you poor souls who engage with my bullshit, why I think AI fundamentally sucks and why I’m struggling to find a way to share my work anymore.

It begins with the fact that I strongly dislike the entire concept of traditional publishing.

In a nutshell, publishing houses get to decide what you, the consumer, will read, always based on what will be popular and make them the most money. They have the power to decide what you can’t read, what you shouldn’t read.

How many excellent stories have never been published because they weren’t riding the zeitgeist?

Millions. Millions.

And let’s not get into the ridiculously low percentage of income an author makes from a book published by a traditional publisher. Holy shit, it’s appalling.

Even as an indie author I earn about 32c for every $12USD sale of an ebook at best, and it is much, much worse through a publishing house.

Anyway. I digress.

In my opinion, all stories have a place, a meaning for the people who are listening for them, which is why finding the fanfiction world was so amazing to me.

Every voice here has an equal chance of being heard, and equally, we all have a chance to find the story we’ve been looking for. No one can stop you from publishing whatever it is you feel compelled to say. Whatever it is that drives and moves you.

It was honestly a relief to find stories without perfect prose and grammar getting the love they rightly deserve. Stories with silly or fun premises, LGBTQ+ people taking centre stage or - *insert thing that the publishing world would never publish here* - because it makes people ‘happy’ (whatever emotional form that takes) - both to write and to read.

But that well is poisoned by the people cashing in on that work via AI scraping, making unknowing slaves of creative people - pouring their love and time into a piece of writing only to have it stolen.

And in their own way, people using AI to make stories are just as bad. They too want to take advantage of the labour of others to get some buzz of dopamine from kudos/likes or whatever, which is completely unearned and undeserved.

I’m just going to mention here, while I’m on the subject - if you’re one of those wretches feeding other people’s unfinished fics to the AI to get an ending - I hate you so much there aren’t words. You are actually the worst. I hope none of my followers would do this - but if you do, check yourself.

Moving on…

The thing is, I just can’t understand how writers especially (and not just fic writers) can’t see that AI rips out the heart of storytelling.

Writing as a process is entirely personal; it comes from inside the self. At least in my experience, the process is more important than the end result. The discovery and exploration of themes and emotions entirely your own is only to be found in the process; it can’t be replicated by a computer spitting out strings of words others wrote.

It just can’t.

And I’m just going to say this now - if you, as a writer, don’t think this is important at all - if you don’t think that coming up with ideas and developing them yourself is literally what writing is - then I honestly don’t know what you’re doing, but it isn’t writing.

Anyway (again).

Where in all of this is there a place for a writer who doesn’t want their stories to be grist for the mill, to be regurgitated in some altered, souless form and sold off as if it was someone else’s?

Who’s sick to death of putting money in some other son of a bitches pocket, while they do the work out of love and passion?

I don’t know. I just don’t know anymore.

As it stands, we are powerless to stop any of this unless we simply stop writing, or sharing that writing. That’s a miserable acknowledgment to have to make for someone who quite literally just wants to write and share those stories with others without them being stolen.

It shouldn’t be a lot to ask.

#long post #AI #Anti-AI #anti trad publishing #writing #behold the field in which i cultivate my vibes #it’s been salted

22 notes · View notes

curtsycream · 1 year

Text

She Said

Warning: Topics of body issues, self discovery, sexuality, drugs, poly relationships, internalized homophobia, classic teen drama, teen pregnancy, infidelity, gender stereotypes, eating disorders, diets, and manipulation

Chapter Warning: none

The door to Y/N’s room burst open as two figures stood in the doorway anticipating a reaction. Removing her headphones from her ears Y/N’s head shoots up to look at the blonde and brunette standing before her. “Chrissy? Nancy? What are you two doing here?”

The clear confusion in her voice led Nancy to cock an eyebrow with her hands on her hips. Strutting into the room she stands over the H/C girl, “Did you really forget what today was?”

Sitting up on her bed she furrows her eyebrows trying her hardest to think about what she forgot. The only thing that came to mind was school which did not make sense to her as it was a Saturday. Giving up on her attempts at figuring out what she forgot she shakes her head.

Sighing Nancy crosses her arms over her chest, “Today Jason’s birthday! You know Chrissy’s boyfriend the same Jason we grew up with.”

Her mouth forms an ‘O’ as she slowly starts to remember their plans for today. “The surprise party, how could I forget! I even got him this really cute cardigan because his sweater vests are sooo depressing to look at!”

Giggling at her friend’s statement Chrissy comes closer to the other two. Only then did Y/N notice both her friends dressed for a party. Standing up from her bed she rushes towards her closet mumbling a ‘We can’t be late’. Rolling her eyes playfully Nancy takes a seat on the bed, “The party isn’t until 7 at that weird hookah club on 3rd street. The one with the hot bouncer that looks like Tom Welling.”

“Isn’t he like a college student?”

“I mean yeah but that doesn’t defeat the point that he’s hot!”

Normally Y/N would entertain her friends especially when good looking people were involved. But the overwhelming feeling that she only had 3 hours to pick an outfit and do her makeup was stressful. Her fingers skillfully move through her clothes which was rather impressive considering her acrylic nails. “Aha!” The small noise leaves her lips when she finds the perfect outfit to wear to the party. “I’ll be back!”

Chrissy and Nancy witnessed their friend trip on her way to her bathroom before the door slammed with a yelp. Nancy cupped her hands around her mouth before yelling out a “Be careful, Bunny Boo!”

“Don’t worry so much, Kool Kat!”

Y/N let out a sigh looking at her outfit in the mirror, pressing her finger to her lip anxiously she stares at her hair. Her hair was always the hardest part when it came to going out. Tilting her head she finally decides on a simple style that would fit under her beret. Grabbing her makeup bag she decides to do some heavy pink blush with glossy lip gloss. Satisfied with her look she opens the bathroom door before rushing to her friends who were looking through Bop magazines.

“How do I look?” Y/N asks while doing a small twirl as her friends assess her outfit. Nancy gives her a smile and thumbs up while peeking at her over the sunglasses that match her outfit. Clapping her hands Chrissy nods her head, “I love it! It’s like we’re matching a little!” Pointing down to her own outfit Y/N smiles at the easygoing blonde. “I have you to thank after all I was inspired by your heels, totes adorable!”

“Aww Bunny Boo! I’m in love with your heels too!”

Shaking her head at the squealing girls Nancy stands up clearing her throat. Looking at her flip phone as it displays the time she speaks, “I think it’s time we get going, it took you almost an hour and a half to get ready.”

Pouting at her friend’s words Y/N looks down at her shoes, “I couldn’t help it I didn’t know how I wanted my hair or if this was enough glitter for a birthday party.”

Patting the girl on the shoulder Nancy smiles, “Don’t worry about it we still have time to get to the club and finish setting up before our guests arrive.”

”It’s so pretty here! I can’t believe we got private access to a club!”

Looking around at the setup with wide eyes Y/N goes back to blowing up balloons for the party. After about 30 minutes into blowing up balloons and setting out snacks with Nancy and Chrissy the club doors opened. Her attention was drawn to the grungy looking guys who walked in and straight to Chrissy. Placing a hand over her cheeks Y/N couldn’t help the heat that started to crawl up her body.

Leaning closer to her friend and the guys who stood with her she pretended to sort a few snack trays out. “Oh you’re the band! My boyfriend really loves your stuff, I’m really glad you guys could perform for his birthday it means a lot!”

A chuckle left the lips of the guy with the chestnut brown hair and a smirk. “We’re always down to do events like these, means a lot doing one for a fan’s birthday!” An inaudible gasp leaves Y/N’s lips as she hears the suave voice leave his lips.

Though her shock is short lived as the one with light brown hair and babydoll eyes glances her way. Quickly looking away she pretends to be busy with the bowl of punch in front of her.

“That’s great! I can show you the stage so you guys can set up!”

A round of nods follow Chrissy’s statement as she leads them towards the stage area. Letting out a breath Y/N did not realize she was holding she stares after the group. Never in her life had she seen people dress and look the way those guys did. It was something new but she liked it for some reason.

“Earth to Y/N..”

Her head snaps in the direction of Nancy who had a smirk on her face. In her arms were rolls of streamer paper, “I saw you staring after NightSafe, hot aren’t they?”

“Like super hot, how do people like them exist?”

“Welcome to my world, some people just look so wow like I can’t describe it.”

Y/N nods her head along to Nancy’s words before looking back towards the band as they setup.

“You’ve got it bad, Bunny Boo. Stare any longer and you might burn a hole through them, now let’s get back to party prepping.”

Grabbing ahold of Y/N’s arm Nancy leads her in the opposite direction of the band.

“Finally done! We finished with a few minutes to spare! I can’t wait for Jason to see all that we did.”

“We all know he’s going to love it especially if you’re the reason it happened, Angel.”

Y/N could only nod at Nancy’s words, it was no secret that Jason had the biggest soft spot for Chrissy. Everyone could see how he looked at her as if she put the stars in the sky and made them twinkle. She found it very cute and nothing less than what her bestfriend deserved in a guy.

Standing up with a new air of confidence Chrissy makes her way to the doors beckoning her friends close. From the look on her face Nancy and Y/N knew the party was about to start.

Soon enough music ripped through the speakers as people danced around the club. off to the side in a booth sat Y/N and her group of friends consisting of Nancy, Chrissy, Jason, Carol, Gareth, and Tommy.

The group of seven sat around as Jason was opening presents that he was given by his friends. The table was filled with chatter and laughter that brought a smile to Y/N’s face. Standing suddenly she catches the attention of the six other people in the booth.

“Sorry guys! I’ll be back I like totes need to go to the restroom!”

Giving her friends a parting wave and smile she rushes to the restroom. Calls of ‘be back soon’ following her along with more chatter. The smile on her face only growing wider at her friends antics.

Sighing Y/N opens the restroom door exiting after relieving herself and washing her hands. Making her way down the club hallway she soon crosses paths with the band from earlier. The four guys seemed to be debating something when she passed right by them. “Hey, Pinkie!”

Pausing Y/N tilts her head before looking back at the guys pointing at herself. When the light brown haired one from earlier nodded his head she slowly made her way over to them. “Umm, yes?”

“You’re friends with the blonde one, Chrissy right?”

Nodding her head she smiles, “Yeah, I’m friends with Chrissy! Did you need something from her?”

“Yeah we just needed to know where the lounge is again before we start our set for the birthday boy.”

“Oh! I can show you! I’m Y/N by the way, I was setting up earlier!”

The four follow behind her before one speaks up, “I’m Billy, it’s nice to meet you.”

Glancing back at him she nods finally putting a name to the light brown guy.

“I’m Jonathan.”

Y/N found herself looking over him in awe his hair was straight but in a very hot mullet style. He also wore light eyeliner that matched well with his features. Beside him stood a guy with nicely styled hair as well.

“Hi, I’m Steve.”

Nodding her head at him she found it hard not to stare with how pretty he looked in her eyes. That is before she moved her eyes to stare at the guy with dark brown hair.

“Eddie.”

His answer was short and simple leading Y/N to nod before she stopped at a door with a metal plate that said ‘VIP’ in bold lettering. “This is it, I hope you guys do well I can’t wait to see you perform. Break an arm!”

The sentence came out rushed as she sped walked away covering her face with her hands. “Break an arm..” she mumbles with a shake of her head. Leaving in her wake NightSafe who all seemed to have amused looks on their faces.

A/N: this is very short but this is the start of a new story I’m crafting. I love the early 2000s and the bimbo princess meets grunge and metal style. I also have a big thing for boy bands and stranger things characters so why not. This story will have a main plot and a side plot which will just be stories that relate to the main story but can be read alone. I might take a little while to update the main story as this is the semester I’m graduating so I’ll be busy! Other than that I hope you enjoy!

#poly!reader #beforeitstarts #bimbo!reader #y2k fanfic #fem reader #poly fanfic #NightSafe #romance #fanfic #eddie munson #steve harrington #stranger things #billy hargrove #jonathan byers #jonathan x reader #billy x reader #eddie x reader #steve x reader #stranger things au

58 notes · View notes

mustbemosstaken · 1 year

Text

I don’t know if this is an unpopular opinion in the Fable fandom but like… Wolftross never struck me as a particularly “wholesome” relationship.

I see so often comments along the lines of “Omg Wolftross is so cute and soft and wholesome” and all I can think is like,,, broski those are two war-torn men that are so utterly traumatised and broken into so many pieces that the only way they can feel somewhat whole in their existence is being together to disguise the feeling of worthlessness and self-loathing that comes with their guilt—

Like don’t get me wrong, I love them so much narratively and it’s compelling as fuck, but their relationship is far more tragic than wholesome to me. They have cute moments yeah, and I’m not saying the relationship can’t be soft, but they’re not really like,,, uwu beans or anything, I guess.

The various romantic relationships within the Fable SMP are all super interesting to me in the way their structured, and I just always felt like if anything Wolftross was the least “wholesome” of them. It’s a story of love in defiance of the past, which I feel like leaves the potential for a slightly “rougher” (for lack of a better term) exploration of love and self discovery/development in the wider story for those two characters.

I don’t know, I don’t want to insult people’s interpretations of the relationship, and maybe the intention from Centross and ArtfulRenegade is to make the relationship wholesome. I think it’s totally valid to see Wolftross in a more cute/soft light if that’s what you want out of the story, and it’s great that people can find different interpretations in the story, it really speaks to the talent of the creators involved. There’s definitely (or at least hopefully) nothing malicious within the fandom in terms of like, trying to make the gay relationship more romanticised or palatable or anything which is a relief, I just think it’s interesting to see so much of the complexity within their relationship brushed aside for a “wholesome” angle when the rougher foundation of their relationship was what fuels so much of the narrative weight of their interactions in my opinion.

I don’t know, maybe this doesn’t make any sense at all and it’s just incoherent rambling because its 5am. Maybe I think too much about the fictional relationships between the dumb little block men. Who knows, that’s just my late night (or early morning) thoughts.

But like if people want more semi-hot fandom takes on Fable SMP relationships, I sure do have a whole bunch so maybe I’ll post more here, who knows

#fable smp #wolftross #is this a hot take? I don’t even know to be honest #like it could be that everyone thinks this and I’m only seeing a small portion of the fandom honestly I have no clue #I’m so all over the place when it comes to the fable smp fandom it’s the Wild West out there #anyway the fable SMP is very pog the storytelling scratches brain good #fablesmp

16 notes · View notes

masivechaos · 2 years

Note

hello and welcome!

can i request reader coming out to wolfstar!dads and non-binary (pronouns they/them/she) and bi? thank you in advance!

YOU REALLY ARE COOL

Wolfstar! dads x nb! bi! child! reader

Request: yes / no

can i request reader coming out to wolfstar!dads and non-binary (pronouns they/them/she) and bi? thank you in advance!

Synopsis: You spent a lot of time lately questioning your identity, but you can rely on you dads who seem to be supportive.

Warning/content: nothing it’s mostly fluff, maybe just questioning identity, doubts, etc… , brief mention of sex (ty Sirius), reader use they and she pronouns

a.n.: 1.K words- crying in daddy issues lol, I made it to be read as afab or amab. hello! you’re my first request so ngl I’m a bit stressed. I used the 2nd person this time cause i found it easier (and i didn't know if you had a pronoun preference) I hope I answer to your ask like you wanted and I hope you gonna enjoy the fic!

── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ.─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ.───･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ.──

You couldn’t count the number of hours you spent staring at the ceiling at night. Several questions going every way in your brain. You didn’t always understand how you react. You knew that you can love the same sex or gender obviously, you had two dads. But you didn’t know why one day you were crushing on a boy and then a girl passes by and woah! I may like her instead. You also knew the concept of bisexuality, so you started to wonder if it wasn’t what was corresponding to you. And after days of watching the flaky paint on your walls, you felt like bisexuality was definitely what was describing how you felt.

You didn’t expect this discovery to disturb you like it did. You always thought that it was going to be easy to find yourself, mostly because Sirius and Remus always made you feel comfortable with subjects like this. But the more you were thinking about it the more you were scared. What if your friends disapprove? And what if you were wrong and you were not bisexual? It is really okay to like both?

When the sexuality crisis finally, kinda, stopped; the gender questions started to knock at the door. You felt like you didn’t really relate when people were referencing you like if it was an old self they were talking about. These pronouns didn’t suit you anymore. You also discover that your body wasn’t really the one that you wanted. And even more, questions were constantly in your mind; was it normal to feel like this? Everything was so confusing.

These constant interrogations started to influence you. You were tired and your heart was clenching every time someone wasn’t using the good pronouns and you didn’t dare tell them.

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ

So that day when you were eating with your dads and Sirius talked about the neighbor who wanted to take the news about you, recreating the endless dialogue that he had using the wrong pronouns to reference you, you knew it was the moment to tell them about everything that was in your mind. “About this… I wanted to talk to you” you looked at both of your dads, Remus stopped eating and was waiting for you to talk, and Sirius was a little more confused “About the neighbor?” he said, mouth full of food.

“No.” You chuckled awkwardly “About, er... the pronouns that you use” You stared down at your plate while Remus titled his head, ready to listen to what you were going to say. Your other dad was still clueless and was looking at his husband searching for any hints, that he didn’t find, on what was happening. “I- I would like you to use they and she pronouns when you talk about me… if it’s okay…”

You lift your head, a little tensed about their upcoming reaction, and saw your dads smiling at you softly “Of course, Pup” Remus said “There is no problem. And you know what? I always found that they/them pronouns were cool pronouns.” You laughed at Sirius’ intervention. “Babe, you can’t find a pronoun cool’” Your dad put his hand on Sirius’ shoulder who seemed shocked by the recent intervention “Of course you can! Look, I do!”

Remus sighed before looking back to you while his husband was pouting “Anyway, that your pronouns are cool or not” he said as he laid his eyes on Sirius who came back to eating “We will use them.” “Okay, pronouns may not be cool but our child is.” Your father was very serious while looking at Remus who let out a quiet ‘I give up’ before returning to his food.

You catch their attention again “I wanted to tell you something else.” They raised their heads and nodded, ready to listen “I also have been questioning myself a lot about who I loved and I think I am bisexual. I mean I like girls, but I like boys too.” Sirius replied right after you stopped talking “Ah! you see darling? That is cool!” his finger pointing at you while looking at his husband. Remus just ignored him “It’s fine, Y/n, we obviously support you.” Your dads gave you reassuring smiles.

It maybe was because of all the tensions that these last months brought to you but you felt tears falling down your cheeks as soon as he finished his sentence. “Hey, it’s okay, pup.” Both of your dads stood and came next to you. Sirius hugged you with all the love he had. “Why are you crying, honey? You were scared?” You nodded as much as you could, pressed against his chest “I was confused.”

Remus patted your back “It’s okay. It’s confusing for everyone. You know I spent a lot of time wondering who I was before finding myself.” Sirius held you even tighter “Look at me for example; before I figured out that I loved Remus, I slept wi-” Remus covered Sirius’ mouth with his hand “Stooop! I bet they don’t want to know.” You broke into laughter before letting escape a small ‘I can’t really breath’, after what your dad set you free.

“Hep, hep, hep… you’re not escaping like this Y/n” Remus took you in his arms. The hug didn’t last long thanks to your other dad who said that his husband was ‘killing our child, holding them like that, let her breath’. You were grateful to have parents like them, your tears of emotions quickly turning into tears of laughter as they started to bicker like an old married couple, what they were slowly becoming, on who had strangled you the most while hugging you.

The diner came to its end, as Remus was in the kitchen, Sirius looked at you softly before winking and leaving to join his husband innocently “I stick to my words, Pup. You really are cool.”

#wolfstar #remus lupin #sirius black #marauders #the marauders era #marauders era #young marauders #remus x sirius #sirius x remus #sirius and remus #wolfstar parents #harry potter

86 notes · View notes

anotherghoul666 · 1 year

Note

i saw the ask about being bi and i just wanted to get some perspective on my situation since you have such good advice!

i’m going on 5 years into a relationship with my boyfriend and i’ve been kind of freaking out about my gender lately. i’ve been struggling with it for as long as i can remember but i had a lot of shit going on and there was never really time to think about it seriously until recently. i’m realizing now that i’m non-binary leaning masc. i just can’t bring myself to tell my boyfriend. we’re very serious, living together and all but i know that he isn’t attracted to guys and i feel so stressed about doing things like binding and asking him to not use feminine words for me. but it also makes me sad thinking that i might never come out. sorry about the rant i just really don’t have anyone to talk this through with so i’ve just been ruminating about it for a while

Oooh, ok, this is touchy. Because I don't know you and your situation and the nuances of it. Because this is a very nuanced thing. I can't judge based on just this ask how strongly you feel about your gender identity versus how strongly you feel about your relationship. This is a decisional balance situation. You'll have to weigh your options against one another. And the weight of each thing can and will change over time. It's a tricky thing to do. I can only give you some perspective and talk about my own experience with my gender and my primary relationship.

Tough love incoming. If you're not ready to take it or hold space for it, feel free to not read. Or let me know in another ask to delete, and I will delete this message for you.

My main thing in regards to relationships is and will always be this: if you can't be yourself, truly, completely yourself within said relationship, why are you in it?

Now, I recognize I'm an all or nothing person. I see the world in black and white. I handle being alone and solitude very well. I'd much rather be on my own and happy about myself, then in a relationship where I can't be myself. I'm saying that now, today, in my current headspace, as a 31 year old with lots of therapy and self care and growth behind me. And lots to come still. I don't know how old you are. But. Ten years ago, would my answer have been the same? Absolutely not. Ten years ago I stepped all over myself and bend myself every which way people asked to fit in their tiny little uncomfortable boxes of what they wanted me to be. I DESTROYED myself doing that over decades. Destroyed. Wrecked. Reconstructed. Rebuilt. I will never do that again. I am me. I am unapologetically me and, as much as I recognize in situations like work etc. I do have to conform into societal norms, those are not relationships I chose. Unfortunately in our capitalist society you cannot choose to not work and still survive. But relationships like a couple, a partnership, friendships, family, etc. I choose fully. I refuse to choose to be in a partnership where I won't be able to be myself.

If you're scared to have these conversations with your boyfriend, to me that's a red flag. That's a bell that needs to ring and be heard. Why are you scared? Is it inner anxiety? Or did he react in the past negatively or aggressively towards similar subjects? Is it your brain assuming he won't like it, or did he clearly state he doesn't believe in gender or some shit like that? There's a world of difference between what your brain tells you and what may be the truth. A lot of times we assume and project emotions and thoughts onto people, and it turns out to not be their emotions or thoughts at all. Be wary of projection. Ask yourself why is it that you're afraid to tell him about your discoveries, your pronouns. Why are you afraid to bind. Find the source of the fear. From you, or from him. If it's a fear from within, evaluate that. Sit with it. Ask your boyfriend directly. Have the difficult conversations. You will never know for sure unless you ask and talk it out. Get his real feelings out in the open. Now, if he did say transphobe things for example and that's why you're scared, maybe he's not a great partner to keep, you know?

You have the right to come out. You have the right to be recognized as who and what you are. You have the right to be fluid and change in your identity, and anything else. By the sheer nature of your existence you have this right. Your boyfriend has the right to his own opinions and beliefs too. You'd need to know what those are tho. Not assume. Ask and know for sure. Then you have to decide.

There's four ways I see this conversation can go. 1) he's actually more fine with it that you thought and you two can flourish and continue your life path together with acceptance and love all around. 2) he's not down for the NB shit and you choose to sacrifice yourself and your identity for the sake of this relationship. That might last a few years. My prediction is you'll self destruct eventually because of the repression and it'll be a worse break up in many years than it would have been at 5 years in, because you'll have harmed yourself immensely in the process of denying who you are. 3) he's not down with the NB shit and you decide that the relationship is not what you want to continue living in. It doesn't matter if you live together and have life plans, you'll know in your heart if your identity is worth more to you than to move out and start over. 4) then there's the option of, maybe the gender discovery was not what you thought, because gender is messy as fuck and it fluctuates so much. That I can't answer for you, you have to know within if NB is really what you are or if you're just trying out pronouns and a label, see if it feels good, feels better. You have the right to try labels and pronouns in spaces other than the home if home doesn't feel safe for it. With friends, while going out, in queer spaces, online, etc. See how it feels. Does it feel strong enough and a big enough part of you to turn your life upside down for it. It might. It might not. That's up to you to decide. But live your truth.

Never settle. Settling, swallowing it down, brushing it under the rug, that might seem like the best option right now. It's the easiest. It's the avoidant option. It will catch up to you I can guarantee it. Under the rug is where things go to die and rot and fester. The pungent smell of rot will catch up to you. It will be unavoidable one day. If you ignore stuff for months or years even, I can guarantee one day, ten years from now maybe, this gender shit will come back up with a vengeance and it might harm you. Where are you gonna be in ten years? What if you ignore your gender today, ignore who you are, buy a house with this boyfriend, get married, maybe have kids if that's something you want. What then? When in ten years, what you've been repressing this whole time comes back to kick your ass. Are you gonna be able to destroy everything then to live your truth? Its gonna be way more difficult if you have legal attachments like a marriage contract, a mortgage or a kid. 5 years is a long relationship, but honestly in the scope of your life it's not that long. To stick with something that's not right because of how much time you've invested in it is not a good reason. It sounds like one. That's called the sunk cost fallacy. Or fallacy of time invested. "The human tendency to stick with endeavors in which we've already invested time, money, or other resources even when changing course would be the more logical choice." Look it up.

My sincere hope for you two is that it will go better than you assume. I was scared to tell my partner too when I started to understand what I'd felt all my life towards my body was disphoria. When I started to realize how I relate to gender was different than most people. When I wanted to see if I was trans (I don't consider myself trans, tho some NB people do and that's absolutely valid too) and I tried the masculine pronouns and identity for a while. Didn't fit perfectly right. Some things and words fit, some days it fit more than others, but some days it didn't feel right at all. The journey to land on NB she/they with a preference for they and gender neutral words was a long one and I'm honestly still not sure about the label or the identity. The only things I know for sure after two years of exploration of gender is I'm not just a woman, and I'm not just a man. That's it. It will change.

When I told my partner about the disphoria and my inkling that I had some gender fuckery going on, she still identified as a lesbian. My partner is a cis woman and for decades her identity was very very rooted in the "I am a lesbian" thing. My gender identity made her reconsider things too. I was worried that she wouldn't be into me anymore because she was such a lesbian back in the day and I wasn't a woman anymore. But the thing is, I was never a woman at all. She fell in love with me and we agreed on a life partnership and a life path together while I wasn't a woman. Because I never was. I just didn't have the right terms to describe myself with before. I didn't have the vocabulary, the knowledge. My partner had to evaluate for herself was she in love with a woman, which would have made us incompatible, or was she in love with me. She figured out she was in love with me. She was supportive about all my pronouns try-ons and label changes through the years and to this day she's my absolute rock and most supportive cheerleader ever. She takes it in stride, makes a point to ask which pronouns I want for that day, asks how I want her to refer to me to specific people, etc. She asks permission before she outs me to someone as NB by using gender neutral terms. She cares. Cause she loves me. And I love her. And we choose every day that we're gonna build our life together. If one day something incompatible comes up, and either one of us wakes up and cannot make the choice that day, cannot choose the other that day, then we'll talk about it. Have the gut wrenching conversations and decide what happens with the relationship there. But I know for a fact if she wasn't down with my gender exploration, I would have brought it up. Assuming she would have been super closed minded about it and refused my gender identity, I would have had to talk about breaking up. Cause I'm not gonna live my life with someone I'm afraid of. I will not share my life with someone whom I can't be my true self with.

Will you?

#asks #AnotherGhoul's confessional booth #long ass advice but like shit this was needed I feel

13 notes · View notes

electricbluebutterflies · 9 months

Note

Garcy + "You need to take your health more seriously."

Usual post-canon-divergence, PG-ish, and also on ao3.

He worries her.

This is not a problem Lucy is used to having, or perhaps a capability, she’s not sure how to categorize or describe any of this, and… the discovery of new emotional potential courtesy of that man should stop feeling so surprising. He brings out dimensions of herself that she didn’t know were there, more of them good than bad, and-

Everyone who’s ever told her that she’s a self-care disaster can get gone as far as she’s concerned. At least she responds to being told as much. Unlike some people.

To be fair, Flynn functions on a level of input that is… frankly horrifying, now that they are loose in the normal world again and she’s pretty sure their hesitant domestic arrangement hinges on the fact that they’re very good at saving each other from themselves. Responses to substances at least make an amount of sense; of course someone roughly twice her size is going to be able to comfortably out-drink her, and coffee black enough to be a different consistency somehow does nothing. It’s the rest of it, the growing secondhand realization that he’s not totally in touch with his body, above all the not sleeping enough, above all-

Going to bed, yes, fine. There have been no complaints about the fact that she does not like sleeping alone and ideally she’d like to be held. But she’s noticed she always falls asleep first and wakes up last and her own habits really aren’t that great either and-

Is this something she gets to have an opinion about? Is she allowed to be difficult about something she knows is probably, at least in part, like all the other weird shit both of them do, a trauma thing?

She decides it is, after enough time has passed, after probably too much time, after she starts to accept that they probably can’t get rid of each other.

It’s been one of those days, a perfectly good weekend afternoon wasted on chasing a stubborn bat out of the attic, always something to do in this restart she’d intentionally decided would happen in a part of the country neither of them has any real history in because that was supposed to help them reacclimate, and now it’s late and she’s pretty sure she’s going to hallucinate bat noises for a couple days but she is sure she saw the damn thing fly out the vent, and-

“Come to bed with me,” she says. This part she has under control, this part she knows her partner will do what she wants. So tangled around her fingertips, some combination of fate and guilt and-

They’re good at this, domestic routines and so much quiet, and she thinks sometimes that accidental-roommates-with-mutual-unspoken-crushes is a stage all relationships ought to go through because it’s made them stronger now, and-

“Try to rest,” she murmurs as their bodies shift together, just a hint of that demanding voice she tries to use so cautiously. “Please. For me.”

He opens his mouth like he’s about to give her some sweet reassurance of a lie, and she’s just not in the mood. They survived a goddamned time war; they can survive what might turn into the first argument they’ve had afterwards that did not involve paint or overconfidence with electrical or-

“Don’t… you do not get to talk your way out of this. You need to take your health more seriously, and you don’t-“

“Lu-“

“Don’t. Whatever the hell nightmares… I’m here. We are here. And I am so worried and-“

At least he has the sense not to fight her, at least for now. She knows this isn’t over – it’s them, nothing is ever over – but she knows the look in his eyes, the yes-ma’am of it all, and so help her she will not fix him but-

“I’ll try. For you.”

“I’m keeping my eyes open until yours are closed, understand?”

“That may be a while.”

“That’s your problem.”

She flips the light, and it is objectively a little harder to read the situation in the dark, but… she does know him, sleep next to someone most nights for two years and you know them, and she waits until breathing patterns change and the arm around her waist loosens just a little.

At best this is a temporary victory, but it’s something. She has her issues too, and-

The worrying won’t ever stop – at best it’ll change form – but at least for tonight she’s won. At least it’s something.

#ebf writes fic #garcy #queue

4 notes · View notes

pjsks · 1 year

Text

A Place Further Than the Universe (Eps. 1-4) Blog Post

This is a really cute coming-of-age anime. I really appreciate the character designs and characterization. I feel like in a lot of anime, high school age characters are depicted unrealistically. I especially like how simplistic the character design is, as I feel that viewers can take more time to get to know the girls as characters and not be distracted by a flashy appearance. It also helps cement the idea that these are four normal high school-aged girls going on a journey.

Kimari is so relatable to me because I felt the same way as her when I was her age. I felt like I was wasting away and not doing enough with my life when in theory, I had a lot of extracurriculars and great grades. Most people go through development at that age to find out who they really are and where their passions lie. Our parents dictate how we lived all throughout our lives up until that point. Unlike Kimari, however, I didn’t try as hard to rectify it and go on my own journey of self-discovery until I got to college.

I also really relate to Hinata. Even though she’s still in high school, I feel that we share a similar mindset in regards to adventuring before it’s too late. My parents always tell me that college is the time to discover who you truly are, and that experience is more invaluable than the physical lessons you learn in your classes. I personally used to stress out about not taking on enough to prepare for my future, but I realize that this is my individual journey and I don’t need to compare myself to others. I can’t have these same experiences after I graduate college.

Shirase is a little bit less relatable to me because I don’t often have such large, strong passions, but I understand her motivations. I’ve seen people work hard to accomplish their dreams, and I admire her tenacity despite what everyone says about her. She’s a really amazing example of not letting what anyone says get in the way of your dream.

I’m not famous so I can’t fully relate to Yuzuki either, but her story makes me really think about how celebrities must feel. Everyone always talks about how nice it would be to be famous, but after thinking about it, I can really see how fame can get lonely. She has such a pure desire to make genuine friends that it’s hard not to root for her.

All four of the main girls have different reasons for wanting to go to Antarctica, but that doesn’t make any of their reasons less important. At the root of all of their motivations, there is dissatisfaction and they believe that this journey will help alleviate that feeling. I think it’s really amazing to see four different types of people go through their own journeys to self-discovery, and I look forward to watching more.

#jpt1311

4 notes · View notes

thealieninhiding · 1 year

Text

What A Year! 2022 in review - Part 1

A year of self-discovery, found fanmily, new favourites and new fandoms

My (a)sexuality and Legends Of Tomorrow

A random discussion in Nov 2021 with my (queerphobic) aunty reminds me of a comment my youngest sister made years ago which prompts me to investigate asexuality. It sounds like me but not sure I understand it idk, still have to think about it. I’ve gone back and forth over the years, am I straight, bi, a late bloomer, broken, is it my autism?

I don’t think of it about it again until Legends of Tomorrow 7x10 The Fixed Point airs, I truely cannot overstate how much this meant to me. While my cursory glance at asexuality left me wondering but confused this on the other hand; understand myself so much more, I feel seen, I don’t feel broken. Stuck in my throat are the words “that’s me,”, words I still can’t seem to say. I don’t know if my mum who’s watching the show with me understood, I don’t know if she saw my tweets later but I still can’t say the words, I don’t know why. I want to look more into asexuality but am still depressed so I don’t do it right away.

The penultimate episode of Legends of Tomorrow airs and I watched most of the episode thinking this would make a beautiful ending if the last episode fixed a few different things (a better end for Zari, real!Alun, etc) then I would love it as a series finale. I always worry about Legends of Tomorrow come renewal time. Then finale of Legends of Tomorrow airs; I love it but it completely fucks with the ‘I’d be okay if they ended here’ vibe I was getting from the previous episode. I take this and Booster Gold’s introduction to mean they are confident in renewal. I do contemplate if a little fan editing on the last 2 episodes could make it a conclusive ending. Which if I had the skills and equipment I would still like to do. When Legends of tomorrow is canceled I take to twitter to campaign.

It’s my first pride month knowing I’m ace. I up my #SaveLegendsOfTomorrow tweet game focusing on the amazing queer rep. I start to interact with the other campaigners but I’m shy. I look more in to asexuality something still seems to not fit. I find that many ace people IDed as bi or pan before finding out about asexuality. I also learn about the split attraction model and oriented aces. I find a new label that fits me biromantic. But I am still trying to reconcile my experience with those shared by other ace people, there’s still something missing, something that doesn’t line up with most others stories I read. I finally find what I am looking for, the missing piece, while lurking on reddit someone explaines what aegosexual is and these parts really clicked:

A disconnect between a person's self and the target of their arousal. Fantasising but envision people other than themselves, and/or view it in third person – as though they're watching it on TV, rather than imagining it in first person, through their own eyes.

Predominantly—or exclusively—fantasize about fictional characters or celebrities in place of people they know personally. Described like a spectator who enjoys sports, though has no desire to participate in the game itself.

-from The Asexuality Handbook and Sexuality Wiki

And like the last 2 labels I’m validated. And I finally make sense. Pride month comes to an end and I am whole.

The WBD merger and the subsequent cancellations leave me demoralised about saving Legends but I’ve found a fanmily I don’t want to give them up. When James Gunn tweeted out recognition of the campaign it gave me back my hope but honestly throughout it all the fanmily has be such fun I have thoroughly enjoyed goofing of with them, my year would not have been the same with out them 🫶. I also owe them for getting me to watch A League of Their Own.

EDIT - 1 week Later: ohhh okay yeah I’m aegoromantic too. So I’m Bi Aroace (Aego) and I made flags

ALOTO

After seeing this show in my tl constantly for 2 weeks I finally watch A League of Their Own. HOLY SHIT!!! I think I’m in love 😍 This show has changed me.

I instantly loved everyone, each character’s intro was brilliant, especially Max and Clance’s it really let you know the characters and that the show isn’t going to whitewash history and will also centre black voices. This show should be taught as a how to do representation in period pieces and on how to remake a film in to a series, centring marginalised voices, intersectionality, the underground worlds where they created for themselves, not shying away from the discrimination and violence but also showing the joy that people managed to carve out for themselves. The trauma and the joy beautifully interwoven.

Carson and Max’s dual stories complemented each other, showcasing the stark contrast of how a black woman and a white woman could interact in the world and showing how individual a queer journey is. Max and Carson’s stories have so many parallels, they are at different times polar opposites, mirrors, and echos of each other. Each at a different point in their journeys as both baseball players and as queer people. By utilising parallels the show drives home it’s themes; found family, following your dreams, determination and perseverance, being true to yourself. The most beautiful example of the parallels, the stark differences and the wonderful way the show’s storytelling is interwoven and intercut is of course episode 6, this has been analysed to death of course so I’ll leave that to the others.

Greta is an amazing complex character, her feminine mask, her anxiety and fear, her true self under the mask and walls she carefully maintains underneath the anxiety and fear. She didn’t want to fall in love, she didn’t believe she could love again, she wouldn’t let herself love again, wouldn’t let herself or someone else get hurt. But even constantly reminding herself that Carson was married, using it was a way to distance herself and to push Carson away, reminding herself that they only have the season, telling herself that she can’t, that she shouldn’t, she falls in love. When Joey is hurt and traded her flight instincts kick in, they usually leave at this point, they wouldn’t even let it get to this point, but of the course of the season Jo has found something, something worth sticking around for, and deep down so has Greta, but she is too scared she has to run, she can’t see someone else put away, she can’t be put away.

Shirley’s (aka me) arc was fantastic, I am 100% on board with OCD hc (also on board with autistic Carson hc), her fears that she would catch the gay was an ever present reminder that even among friends it’s not safe. She trusts Carson above all else, her reaction of betrayal and fear when she finds out about Gretson was terrifying and sad. I wanted her to accept it, to understand, I was praying she would sign her name on the wall, a sign it would be okay. The pay off of her questioning every fear she ever had was perfection.

Clance (aka my fictional BFF) is the funniest most wonderful person, she supports Max with all her heart, she will fight to the death for Max. She is pure and amazing. Just like Shirl her attitudes towards queer people are ‘of the time’ I think it was a great choice to have the characters that love and support the leads be some of the loudest queerphobic voices, showing how complex people can be and how complex navigating in the world is. I hope. Clance will be as open minded as Shirley.

I could go on, I love this show so much, I am afraid that it will be canceled, this year has not been kind in that regard.

3 notes · View notes

microcos-pod · 2 years

Text

Season 1, Episode 9 Transcript: The Alternative

Alex contemplates authority, bonds, and things that aren’t quite right.

CONTENT WARNINGS: - Gaslighting/unreality - Anxiety/ panic attacks - Self loathing - Paranoia - Glitching - Medication - Death mention - Smoking mention - Discussion of mental health - Relationship conflict - Yelling - Crying ____

[Theme Music Plays]

ANNOUNCER Futuristic Trail Mix Productions presents Micro-Cosmos: A Science Fiction Podcast. ____ [sfx:comms click] FELIX I spy with my little eye… something… grey. C41 The cave walls? FELIX That's 3 points for Cal! [Miles SIGHS] [sfx: Felix writes down a tally] FELIX You next, Athena. ATHENA Right, um…I spy… with, my little eye…something… Mmm, something beginning with the letter A.

FELIX Athena?

ATHENA [Athena LAUGHS] No.

FELIX Alex? ATHENA That's closer.

C41 Alex's communications device? ATHENA There you go! Impressive, good job! ALEX You sure you can't read minds, Cal? C41 I'm full of surprises, Commander. FELIX 4 points for Cal… [sfx: Felix writes down a tally] Your turn Cal. C41 (pointed) I spy something that begins with the letter B. FELIX Do you have any hints? C41 Of course! This thing just so happens to also begin with "No," and "Fun," and "Spoilsport," and can be alternatively spelled as M-I-L-E-S

MILES (overlapping) Alright, that's it! C41 (overlapping) It's just part of the game

FELIX (overlapping) Oh, "Bored!" ATHENA (overlapping) Okay

ALEX (overlapping) Alright, alright

[sfx: comms clicks] ATHENA -didn't exactly do a lot of dancing in the military, Alex. ALEX You watched my streams! It's not like I was out here dancing on the daily either! Come on, look, here,\just, place your hands… mhm, and your foot… there, see? Like a box. ATHENA Oh, so we're waltzing? Fancy, Ms. de la Cruz… ALEX Mm, fancy indeed. Why don't you play us a song, then, Ms. Romero? ATHENA Play… oh my god. ALEX (overlapping) I'll sing with you! It'll be like a mov- hey! Watch where you step! [Athena LAUGHS] ATHENA I was watching. [Alex SCOFFS]

ALEX Wooow. So are we just going to keep staring at each other, or

ATHENA Alright, a

[sfx:comms clicks].

FELIX What's for dinner tonight?

ALEX Your favorite, bud. Pot roast and potatoes.

[Miles SIGHS]

ALEX (CONT'D) Don't forget to eat your Brussel sprouts and drink your milk.

MILES Alex... We don't have anything else? Are these even healthy to eat with no other form of sustenance? I mean, at this point...

ALEX We'll make due, kid. Hopefully, the storm will be letting up soon. 20 days is getting a bit excessive, even for Ophiuchus. So, soon, we'll be getting out of here and we can... find a fruit tree or something? Lots of uncovered land out there to search.

FELIX I can second this. The soil here is perfectly fertile for all sorts of plant growth, and our late Mercutio and his, surely existent, friends must have been eating something.

MILES Hnnnn...

C41 If you really think about it, Miles, there are plenty of other edible things in the caves! You know, moss. Rocks. Fungus. The crew

ALEX Cal... C41 Kidding! Kidding! I was just kidding... heh.

ALEX Sure... Look, if you're not hungry, I'm not going to make you eat, but given that we're already having to split rations, I just... Think you should maybe have something whenever you're feeling it. Okay? Alex offers Miles their rations and a comforting smile. After a small beat, they sigh quietly and take the package.

MILES [Miles SIGHS] Okay.

ALEX Thank you. And for you, Athena.

ATHENA Thank you, angel. ALEX Mm... So. What'd you all do today? Anything fun?

FELIX Actually, I'm very glad you asked. I made a... very good discovery today! Very good news.

ALEX Well, we can always use some of that. Shoot. What is it? [Crew RESPONDS unintelligibly, overlapping]

FELIX Well, since you are so enthusiastic! I actually found a corner of the cave with enough exposed and fertile soil to foster plant life. Perhaps we could even work to make it slightly more expansive. Create a little garden of sorts, maybe?

ALEX Oh!

MILES Oh, hell yeah.

ATHENA That's great news!

FELIX Indeed! However... [Crew GROANS]

FELIX (CONT'D) We don't... have anything to grow.

ALEX Oh.

FELIX Yes, which is... a bit counterproductive, as a garden with no plants is no garden at all. Perhaps one of us could venture out of the cave and try to collect

ALEX No. No, I'm not letting any of you out into that mess. Not again. Not even as a last resort. I'm sure we'll be able to find something in the caves. A quick beat.

FELIX Of course, Commander.

ALEX I'm sorry, I didn't... that is great news, Doc. We'll have to keep an eye out for seeds and the like on our cave ventures. Maybe they have, uh... those flowers Athena liked so much. For tea. They're probably edible, right? Statistically?

FELIX I would hope so. We've already consumed it.

MILES Uh... ditto... also... hope so.

ALEX [Alex SIGHS] Right, yes...Amazing job, Felix, really. We'll all keep an eye out the next couple of days.

[Felix HUMS] ALEX (CONT'D) Uh, Miles, what about you?

MILES Oh, I just, uh... I made a... video game.

ALEX No way!

ATHENA Really?

MILES It's nothing big, it's just, like... BlickBlock. It's stupid. I just wanted something to do other than stare

ALEX No, don't say that's stupid, that's so impressive! A whole video game? Where?

MILES Just... on my wristpiece. Like I said, it's not

ALEX Your wristpiece?

MILES Yeah. Don't... don't make a big deal out of- C41 Are you replacing me, Miles?

MILES Wh... no. Of course not, Cal, what?

C41 I'm joking! I know I'm cooler than a... couple of bricks on a calculator. Obviously, I am.

ATHENA How long did that take?

MILES Like an hour? What, do you all want it or something

ALEX (overlapping) Yes!

ATHENA (overlapping) Of course!

FELIX (overlapping) Sure.

MILES Okay, I guess I'll... I don't know, just give me your stuff sometime, I don't know.

C41 Hmmph.

MILES Well, Cal, what did you do today, then?

C41 How kind of you to ask, Miles. I've been trying to reach signals off of the planet. Obviously, I had no luck, since we're still sitting in a circle on the floor talking miserably to each other and not to someone back at HQ. When I realized I wouldn't be reaching anyone, I decided to run a few statistical diagnostics screenings and... well, cheerily, it looks, at least based on what I can pull without the correct computing services, like the storm will likely not be letting up for a few weeks, at least. If anything, it'll likely get worse before it shows any signs of getting better. I also deduced that, with our current standing of provisions and victuals and the speed at which you all consume them, we will be running out of rations in approximately 22 days, and water in-

ALEX That's enough, Cal.

MILES You know, I don't see why we're even making an attempt at-

ALEX You too, Miles. (Alex SIGHS) Well, Athena and I spent our day wandering the caves and charting out the tunnels more extensively. I have the work-in-progress map just over there so, whoever sets out next just grab it and help the cause for us.

FELIX I'd assume we'd also be using it as a tool to... not get lost?

ATHENA That too, yes. More importantly that.

ALEX Right, yes. Whenever I die by force of getting lost in the caves you can put that on my tombstone. "Alex de la Cruz. 2062-2094. We tried to tell her to stop mapping!" (Alex LAUGHS) Alright...

[sfx: comms click] _____

[sfx:comms click]

(Alex PLACES CARD) ALEX Uhh... 3.

ATHENA 9. (Athena PLACES CARD)

ALEX Jesus, okay, uh... 11? (Alex PLACES CARD)

ATHENA 15 for 2. (Athena PLACES CARDS)

ALEX Oh my god, brutal. [sfx:beeps of points being input]

ATHENA I'm being easy on you.

ALEX Sure. 25. (Athena SIGHS) ALEX (CONT’D) (Alex LAUGHS) What?

ATHENA (Athena GROANS) Go.

ALEX If you say so. 12. (Alex LAUGHS)

ATHENA Can you go?

ALEX Nah, but the round's still mine. Sorry, who needs to be easy on who now, Romero?

ATHENA One win does not account for 2 lost rounds, de la Cruz. ALEX Aww, what happened to 'Angel'?

ATHENA It just slipped out. (Athena PLACES CARDS) Right, so... run of 3 for 3, and 15 for 2, so 5 total. [sfx:beeps of points being input ]

ALEX Mm. Okay, okay, okay. 2, 2, 10, and the Jack of Comets... which is in the turn up suit, so, Jack for 1, pair for 2... Only 3 total. [sfx:beeps of points being input]

ATHENA Hmmmm. Interesting.

ALEX Oh, come on, I'm catching up.

ATHENA A Go can only do so much of the heavy lifting, Alex.

ALEX 13. You take this very seriously, starshine. I respect that. Ready to start the next-

ATHENA Hey, not so fast! It's still my crib. Let's see... Six... three... four, okay that's a 15 for 2, another three, 15 for four, and pair... for 6 total. [sfx:beep]

ALEX I trashed the wrong ones. (Athena LAUGHS)

ATHENA I think you did.

ALEX Nature of the beast?

ATHENA Sure. You know, Miles and Felix are great, and all, but... this match is considerably less argumentative than our usual fare.

ALEX Don't forget Cal, expert potstirrer.

ATHENA Oh, god. Not a surprise you're exhausted.

ALEX ... Me?

ATHENA Yeah?

ALEX I'm... I'm not exhausted, I'm fine.

ATHENA Okay.

ALEX We're all tired.

ATHENA You can say that again. ALEX Yeah. Yeah. You know, I think we all deserve to be a little tired.

ATHENA Alex, can I ask you something?

ALEX Sure, if I can ask you something too.

ATHENA No, actually, you go first this time.

ALEX I don't know about-

ATHENA Seriously, Alex. I insist.

ALEX (Alex SIGHS) Alright. Starshine?

ATHENA Yes?

ALEX Can I kiss you?

ATHENA Huh?

ALEX Can... can I-

ATHENA Mhm. (They KISS)

ATHENA How about one more? For luck.

ALEX Luck?

ATHENA Mm.

ALEX We could use some of that. _______

ALEX This is Alex de la Cruz, Mission Commander and Navigations Specialist of Omnitarian Establishment Crew 0137-F on the Ophiuchus-22 mission. The date is May 15 and it is day 57 of our mission.

Morale is on a steady decline, tensions are rising, and the caves... I don't know what it is but there is something in these caves that is getting to me on a psychological level. Or... neurological. And I've been looking for potential causes since it came to my attention but... there's nothing visible, nothing case typical, nothing Cal knew upon base search. I just... I don't know how much longer we can stay in this situation. How much longer I can keep dealing with this, not being able to trust... anything. Someone has to be hearing us, somewhere in the cosmos, please. We have had a 20-74 Code Drag standing for 24 days, I just need any kind of response.

Rations and water are beginning to run low. The crew itself, we're... well we're all painfully aware that we can't fix anything. None of us know how. It's getting harder and harder to put up a front when, honestly, I don't even know if we'll make it to June. Group conversations aren't even an out when all anyone- myself included- knows how to do is argue, to no fault of their own, and just... I know someone hears me. Give us a sign. Give us hope, give us anything.

Do you want a rundown? Do you want me to... give you a reason to trust me, to explain myself? Sure! Sure, you know what, let's go to the beginning. Day-

ATHENA Alex? Alex, are you alright? I brought cards if you still wanted to rematch?

ALEX Shit. _____ [sfx:comms click]

ALEX This is, once again, Alex de la Cruz, Mission Commander and Navigations Specialist of Omnitarian Establishment Crew 0137-F on the Ophiuchus-22 mission. The date is May 16, 2094, and it is day 58 of our mission.

Given my last log was cut short and no response has been delivered to... any of us... I figured, how about, I just finish what I was trying to say in the first place, kay? (Alex SIGHS) Kay.

For starters, I wanted to establish a quick, uh... retroactive continuity, if you will, hm? Because, see, I've been thinking about it. A lot. And... it isn't just the cave. It never has been. Because, thinking back, it wasn't just me experiencing it. Maybe I noticed it more, but... it was never just me. The, uh... the candles. Those... there was... there was something off about them, more than just normal faulty candles. They... Uh, the... the tent! There... the... (Alex GROANS)

Listen, I know what I'm talking about, alright?! You can't keep trying to convince me that I'm crazy because... because I know that I'm not. And I think you do, too! Because it switched from all of us to just me standing as an outlier as soon as we were in the cave systems! Or- no, it was... when the storm came. The radio, it... I know what I've been experiencing, okay, and I wish everyone would stop looking at me like I've lost it!

ATHENA Alex?

ALEX Goddammit.

ATHENA I think we should talk.

ALEX Give me a second, Athena.

ATHENA Now, Alex. (Alex SIGHS)

ALEX What is it?

ATHENA You've... been worrying me. A lot, lately.

ALEX What are you talking about, Athena?

ATHENA What am I talking about? Alex, you... (Athena SIGHS) I don't know. But I just wanted to check in and make sure that you know that I care. You've been secluding yourself, doing some kind of... self-isolation, and talking, paranoid, into your comms about-

ALEX You've been listening in on me?

ATHENA That's not what I'm saying.

ALEX Then what are you saying?

ATHENA I'm just saying that I'm worried. Have you been getting enough sleep?

ALEX Yes.

ATHENA Okay, were you... medicated, or something? Before?

ALEX Athena.

ATHENA I'm serious. Is that what you need right now? To help?

ALEX Athena, please-

ATHENA You said the cigarettes helped you in the past, right? You have a lighter, you could-

ALEX Athena, that's enough! You can stop trying to parent me now, alright, I'm fed up with it! And stop with the face! The pity, I... you keep acting like this, like you're able to fix all of my problems! Like I'm a problem to fix-

ATHENA Alex, take a breath, that's not what I mean-

ALEX Is it? Is it really? Athena, you're important to me. I care very deeply about you and I would follow you to the ends of the Earth, but you don't know me like you think you do. Alright? You're not my therapist, you're not my psychiatrist, you're not my wife. I don't owe you any insight on my mind, and I would appreciate it if you would stop acting like I do.

ATHENA Alex, I'm sorry, but I don't understand-

ALEX What right did you have to tell me how I feel about my son? In what universe was that an appropriate thing to bring up in that moment?

And, you know, maybe it wouldn't have gotten to me as much if it wasn't such a reoccurring thing. Time after time, you keep taking to... I don't know, psychoanalyzing me? Trying to tell me how I feel? How I should feel? And I know you thought you were helping, I do, but I am telling you now that you need to stop.

ATHENA Alex, I'm so sorry, I didn't realize.

ALEX No. You didn't. And maybe it's on me for not telling you sooner, but... I'm an adult. I've dealt with my issues just fine this far, okay, for 16 years, and I don't need you trying to convince me that I've been doing it wrong. (she sighs angrily and takes a quick beat; then, shaking her head) I can deal with it. I’m the Commander.

You know what? Take the damn cigarettes, okay, I don't even need them, you can stop bringing them up.

ATHENA Alex, I’m sorry. I am so sorry that I hurt you like that... this.

ALEX Thanks.

ATHENA But you are not just the Commander. You’re a-

ALEX Athena

ATHENA No, listen to me, Alex. I’m sorry, I am so genuinely sorry, for everything, but I cannot sit here and watch you… tear yourself apart. You’re not just the Commander. You are a person. A friend. A mother. And you’re… not well.

ALEX Athena, did you not-

ATHENA Alex, please, just let me talk. Okay? I am worried about you. I am worried because I am watching you lose yourself, I am worried because I know this anger is fear, I am worried because you have a family waiting back home for you

ALEX Don’t you dare bring them up right now.

ATHENA -and they would be worried for you, too.

ALEX You don’t know how they’d feel right now.

ATHENA Then I know how I feel, Alex! I know the rest of the crew feels! And we are worried! For all of us! For you! I want to help you, honey, but I don’t know what I can do! So, please, let me try to help you.

ALEX You can help me by listening.

ATHENA I am listening. What else would you have had me do? What else do you want me to do?

ALEX Nothing, Athena. I would rather you do nothing. Please. I can deal.

ATHENA Alex-

ALEX No, Athena, okay? I said I can deal.

ATHENA Alex, please stop interrupting me.

ALEX You’re not listening to me.

ATHENA Alex, I am. Like I said, I’m sorry that I… tried to dictate how you were feeling. That I hurt you. Okay? I am so, so sorry. But I wasn’t aware of that until right now, and I will fix it in the future.

ALEX Okay. Thank you.

ATHENA But right now, in this moment, you need help. And if you don’t want it from me, then I can ask somebody else to come in here and talk to you.

ALEX I. Don’t. Need. Help.

ATHENA Alex, please! Listen to yourself! Let me in, let somebody in!

ALEX Where the hell do you get off, Athena? I’m done having this discussion, okay, I don’t need anyone’s help! When are you going to realize that not everything is something that you have to fix?

ATHENA Alex, you are hurting! The rest of us are hurting, too, okay? We’re all scared! I am scared for you, and I am trying to support you!

ALEX Well, I don’t need your support right now! What I need is to get out of this goddamn cave!

ATHENA And you’re going to do that alone? After, what, talking yourself mad?

ALEX Don’t you dare insinuate that I would ever leave any of you behind.

ATHENA Then what more am I supposed to take from what you’re telling me, Alex? I’m not allowed to be by your side when you’re… scared? And… rash?

ALEX I never said that. I said that right now I would rather you stop trying to fix me, and make an attempt to hear my side.

ATHENA And I am doing that.

ALEX (Alex SIGHS) This conversation is going nowhere.

ATHENA Alex- (Athena SIGHS) You aren’t letting it go anywhere.

ALEX And you’re just repeating yourself.

ATHENA So are you! If we could just talk this out-

ALEX Not right now.

ATHENA Then when?

ALEX I don’t know.

ATHENA I- (Athena TAKES A BREATH) I want to have it now, Alex.

ALEX You’re not the only person here though, Athena, okay! We've been trapped in these caves for weeks, it's high-stress, and, let's be honest, a bit traumatic! I just want space right now, and you’re not respecting that.

ATHENA I’m worried!

ALEX I am too, alright? So, please, just stop worrying about me and let me-!

ATHENA You know I can’t do that! Listen to yourself, Alexandra-

ALEX Oh, so it’s Alexandra now-

ATHENA Listen to yourself! You need rest! This isn’t like you, Alex, and you need… something.

ALEX You keep saying the same thing.

ATHENA Because I’m right. If Orion was here you would be scaring him. This isn’t (Alex SCOFFS) ATHENA (CONT’D) I am so sorry. I shouldn't have said that, that's not what I meant, you're not...

ALEX I’m done having this pissing contest with you. I’m going for a walk. Alone. I’ll be back by morning.

ATHENA I'm... (Athena SIGHS)

ALEX Goddamn recorde- [sfx:comms click] ___

ANNOUNCER Micro-Cosmos: A Science Fiction Podcast.

This episode, The Alternative, was written by Jesse Smith, edited by Luka Miller and Lauren Tucker, and directed by Jesse Smith and Lauren Tucker. It starred Jesse Smith as the voice of Athena Romero, Jackson Rossman as the voice of Miles Abbott, Luka Miller as the voice of Alex de la Cruz, Kaleb Piper as the voice of Felix Couvillion, and Pippa van Beek-Paterson as the voice of Cal. Original music by Julia Barnes, and sound editing by Tobias Friedman.

Be sure to stay tuned to our feed for upcoming episodes from the new backpacking intergalactic adventure from Futuristic Trail Mix Productions. Enjoying the show, and want to give us a boost? You can support us by rating and reviewing us on iTunes, or wherever you get your podcasts, or telling a friend about us.

To follow the show and find transcripts, you can find us on Twitter, Tumblr, and Instagram as @MicroCosPod. Questions, comments, and concerns can be emailed to us via [email protected].

Thank you for listening.

#microcospod #micro-cosmos #micro-cosmos podcast #audio drama

2 notes · View notes