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hella1975 · 8 months

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hiiii haha. hello. exceptionally awkward introduction bc idrk how to start something like this so let's just jump right in. im taking a break from this account for a bit. i know i said i wanted taob out before halloween and currently im fine sticking with that deadline, but if i decide i need longer away then i will take longer away. every time ive reassured people that id never abandon a fic and updates will always come eventually i never once considered that my writing and ability to feel safe and comfortable on this site would be actively taken from me, so im not even going to apologise. i dont want this either and more importantly i dont fucking deserve it. i dont know what it is in the past year, if ive hit a certain amount of followers or 'popularity' that's made it so the natural ratio of positive to negative interactions must in turn go up, but there's been a serious uptick in weird asks for me. the annoying part is that a very small amount of them are actually objectively mean and hateful, the rest are just weird and invasive from people who seemingly dont realise that's what they're being. ive reached a point where i dont care if the intentions are good. it's not my job as a 20 year old tumblr user of all things to defend the morality of someone who couldnt even bother to come off anon. unfortunately, after blocking only one or two anons, the weird asks have decreased substantially, which says all you need to know about the fascinating and exhilarating lives led by these people, but ive also gone on to turn anon asks off entirely. this is something i actively fought against doing and had to be pushed into by my mutuals (who have been the coolest people on planet earth during this entire thing). turning off anon was a big deal to me even if it sounds silly. i felt betrayed and like id been backed into a corner because it was so vehmently something i DIDNT WANT that to feel like i had to do it anyway for my own mental health??? that sucks. so even though ive 'fixed' the problem, im still kind of reeling and uncomfortable every time i come on tumblr. i hope it's just something i need time to ease because i'll truly be devastated if this becomes 'ruined' for me. tumblr exists as the only place in the world where i am honestly every facet of myself without shame or hesitation; losing that would be insanely harmful to me. and to the people who cant appeal to the actual human behind the post, let me put that in words you can understand: we wouldn't get any more writing 😦😦😦 riots and fires and sirens, i know. so yeah. to anyone who has sent me an anon ask and you're now wondering if you were part of the problem, im firmly of the belief that you'll know if you are. when i say 'weird asks' i dont mean 'you sent me a para about your personal life just to vent or ask for advice' or 'you sent me a really deep emotional compliment about the impact me and/or my writing has had on you' - i love asks like that, so much that i put off taking a break and turning off anon solely for the joy they bring me. im sorry that it might feel like you're being punished too bc of the actions of what in reality is a HANDFUL of weird people, but this is what i feel like i have to do to feel safe and not go insane every time i log in. love you guys, hopefully ill see you soon x

#seriously another shout out to my mutuals #id particularly like to say thank you to boom who's always right there for me no matter what's happening or how insane im being #and also everyone in our little discord that wound up having to make a whole new channel for venting #bc i was there so often like 'today's weird ask isssss.... telling me about my cupsize!! rip them to shreds!!!'#hannah and theo especially being there and pushing me to finally turn off anon. war is truly over #and of course rori bc the shamelessness u show when hating on my anon asks has been genuinely really cathartic #sometimes u really do just need a rottweiler mutual to tell random people online to kill themselves 😭#okay weird oscar acceptance speechcore gratitude over. i do just rlly love my mutuals #like i went three years not telling anyone about the worse side of internet popularity for fear of looking spoiled and ungrateful #so for the first time to open up about it and be met with outrage on my behalf and people saying in fact it's MORE fucked up #than i initially realised bc ive grown desensitised to it is. yeah cathartic i guess #they are singlehandedly reassuring me of the good this cursed app still holds #so everyone thank them and send them flowers NOW #okay im done i think. see you guys soon. i truly do want to come back asap bc like i said i NEVER EVEN WANTED TO FUCKING LEAVE #SOME ASSHOLES JUST HAD TO PUT GRENADES ON WHAT I ASSUMED WERE VERY UNIVERSAL AND OBVIOUS BOUNDARIES #if you're reading this like 'ohhh fuck i defo sent something invasive lately. i thought it was a joke/we were friends'#then 1) we arent friends if you're on anon. it immediately creates a power imbalance where you know me and any necessary context #but i have no idea who you are or how much you know about me. that's already a fucked dynamic #and 2) I HOPE YOU FEEL BAD. LIKE GENUINELY I HOPE YOU FEEL AWFUL AND HAVE A GOOD LONG LOOK AT YOURSELF #okay i think that's all. ta-ra lads??? how tf do u end something like this #ive queued this to reblog a couple more times throughout the day

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nonexistent-introvert · 7 months

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Seat Partners 3

Pairing: Miguel O'Hara x f!reader

Word Count: 1.5k

Content: Miguel being blunt, some apologies, and the overall study date. also flirty banter and Miguel letting his guard down

A/N: HELLO IM BACK. i wrote the front part like a month and more ago then continued it so if things dont connect as well im sorry, im kinda rusty when it comes to writing but ik if i procrastinated anymore ill never get back to writing. Also, idrk where im going with this series so... if anyone has any ideas...

part 1 part 2

The one thing that both you and Miguel can agree on when it comes to the library is that the study corner seats were the best. Those seats faced a giant window that showcased the streets outside and if you stayed long enough, would be rewarded with the breathtaking views of the sunset. Miguel was pleasantly surprised to see you make a beeline for those seats, most people tend to prefer the seats that were situated in the middle of the library since it was closer to the books and more facilitated group study sessions.

“I don’t study anywhere else other than here. If these seats were taken then you would never see me in here.” You whispered to Miguel when you noticed his gaze. He chuckled, “It’s my favorite seat too.” he replied. “Good view and people can’t distract me here.” He added on. “Ok mr popular.” You teased. Miguel has his fair share of admirers who would admire him whenever he is in the same room as any of them. Some even seem to turn into complete mush when he’s around. Miguel had a strong presence, a presence that demanded people’s admiration and respect. You had a weaker presence, someone who wouldn’t be noticed at first glance so you had zero trouble when it comes to being distracted because of someone’s gaze on you. Miguel shook his head, refusing to argue with you as he pulled out his revision materials, eager to consolidate his learning for the week. The silence in the library especially at this section of the library where most people were studying alone and the overall atmosphere was enough to motivate you to start studying too. The heads buried in books, the sound of pages flipping, and the sound of pens moving against the table acted as a sort of peer pressure to get anyone to start studying.

Your first study session with Miguel started. The both of you would do your own things, his eyes would fall onto your work every once in a while to check up on you and give you a few nods of encouragement. You picked up your phone, using it to search something up when you felt Miguel’s gaze on you. “I’m not using my phone I swear! I’m just checking something.” You defended immediately, noticing the disapproving look in his eyes. “I haven’t even said anything yet.” He merely replied, glancing over your shoulder and to your phone. You pursed your lips at him, “Actions speak louder than words you know?” He gave you a small smile. “Just making sure,” He leans back into his own seat. “Did I not mention that I would be your Google? Ask me anything you aren’t sure of.” Miguel repeats his words from the earlier lessons. “It’s a stupid question, common sense.” You shrugged, writing down the information on Google. Miguel crossed his arms over his chest, “If it’s common sense then why did you have to google it?” Miguel meant to encourage you to ask him questions you had but it seemed to have had a negative impact on you instead. “I’m an idiot that’s why.” You replied without missing a beat. The usual humour and playfulness in your voice are non-existent. The grip on your pen tightened while you put in more pressure to write the next few words. Miguel pinched his nose bridge, realising that you had interpreted his words the wrong way. “Ay coño” He muttered under his breath. “I didn’t mean-” He turned to you, trying to explain himself only to be cut off by a sheer “Never mind.” He opened his mouth to make his stand known but closed his mouth, realising that you had long shut yourself off towards him, the small furrow in between your eyebrows was enough to tell him that you didn’t want to continue that conversation any longer.

The air between the both of you shifted after that, at least it did for Miguel. There was tension in the air that Miguel just couldn’t ignore, he was arguing with himself over the matter of if he should explain his words. The words in the textbook were a blur to Miguel when every sentence he read would be interrupted by his inner turmoil and the regret weighing on his shoulders. So instead, he just kept sneaking glances at you, trying to see if you were in a better mood now.

He let out a sigh, running his hands through his hair as he bent over to pick up his bag, knowing that he would just be wasting his time in the library until he cleared his name. Miguel quickly found what he was looking for, a small pack of grape-flavoured chewy candy that he knew you liked. The same ones he saw you sneakily eating in class, the smell of grapes lingering on your breath when you talked to him was enough to give you away. Miguel told himself that it was because he wanted to try it when he decided to buy it upon seeing it in the convenience store despite refusing your various offers of the candy. Deep down, Miguel knew it was because you liked it, and he knew that it would cheer you up. Although he hasn’t found a way to offer it to you yet, he had imagined the smile on your face when he would take the initiative to give it to you. Miguel carefully placed it onto the table, pasting a post-it note onto the candy packaging with a single word on it. “Sorry.” and a small hand-drawn sad face next to it. Miguel exhaled, giving himself encouragement as he leaned over to you again. Miguel gently nudged your shoulder and passed you the candy, quickly returning to his work to hide how nervous he truly was.

A smile quickly replaced the confusion on your face. “For what?” You asked, referring to the apology. Miguel’s face burned with a light flush, “The words sounded better in my head, sorry, I meant that you can ask me any questions. You don’t have to necessarily turn to Google.” he slowly trailed off, stuffing his hands into the black jacket that he was wearing. You noticed the discomfort he was feeling at that moment. “You’re tempting me with the candy, no eating in the library.” You reminded him. Miguel looked to his left and then to his right, he sat straighter up in his seat. “Just eat one, and I’ll cover you.” His eyes drifted to the ceilings, looking for any surveillance cameras. You chuckled at him, “Miguel O’Hara! What happened to you abiding by the rules?” You jokingly teased him, knowing that he didn’t indulge in your offers of candy in class. “Hurry.” He simply says, head turning in all directions to keep watch.

The sweet familiar taste of grapes in your mouth made you hum happily. You kept looking at Miguel, a small smile forming on your lips. Seeing the smile on your face seemed to lift the guilt off his heart.

“You’re staring.” You laughed at him as you chewed on the candy. Miguel snaps out of his daze, turning away from you and back to his textbooks. A faint blush tinted his cheeks. You leaned back on your chair, “Have one.” You offered once again. He clicked his tongue at you, “No thank you.” Miguel busied himself with his notes, still avoiding your gaze. “Why did you buy it if you’re not even going to try it?” You questioned him. Your eyes narrowed at him, “Unless… you were planning on giving it to me already?” Miguel’s eyes snapped to yours, his eyes widened as he snatched the candy from your hand. Miguel cleared his throat as he popped one candy into his mouth. “Why are you looking at me like that?” Miguel asked, noticing the amused look on your face. Your eyes slowly drifted to the surveillance camera. You snickered when you watched the colour drain from his face.

“You’re such a bad influence.”

“It’s called having some fun.” You retorted.

=======

“You’re awfully quiet,” Miguel muttered. You walked next to him, your eyes distracted by the city lights in Nueva York. “Mmm, drained. My brain’s fried.” He chuckled lightly, “But don’t you feel productive?” You shook your head, Miguel seemed more energized than usual, more relaxed, unlike him in class. “Why do you seem less grumpy?” His signature frown returned immediately, “I am not grumpy.” You rolled your eyes at him, “Please do not tell me studying energizes you.” “Feeling productive energizes me.” He corrects. “Workaholic, no lifer, nerd.” You call him names, and he simply chuckles.

“I hate studying.” You told him. He hums, “Doesn’t take Sherlock to figure that out.” You shoved him lightly. “I can’t believe my first time studying with someone was with you, I never ever study with my friends.” You complained, he snickers. “Wow, I’m your first?” He gave you a teasing look.

“Don’t make it sound weird.” Miguel bites back the smile on his face. “Well, I hope you had fun on our first- study date,” he announced. You looked at him, laughing sarcastically in his face. “This is the reason why you’re single, if this is what you consider a date, let me tell you, it's horrible.” He shrugs, “That’s what you say for now, but you will keep coming back for more.” he says confidently.

#miguel o'hara imagines #miguel o'hara x reader #miguel o'hara fanfiction #miguel o'hara #spiderman #spiderman 2099 #spider man #spider-man #into the spider verse #spider verse #across the spiderverse #atsv miguel #spiderman atsv #miguel ohara #miguel x reader #miguel ohara x reader #miguel o’hara x you

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seaweedbraens · 4 months

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To all the show doubters: you CANNOT say the final episode wasn’t absolutely great. Very few major issues, and actually lived up to the books (mostly)!

i obviously have like 16 full length essays in my head but imma spare y’all that for now.

i speak as a show doubter here. i havent watched the show yet because i have a grad review in 2 weeks that i'm supposed to be working on and i simply dont have the TIME to binge an entire show without feeling a truckload of guilt afterwards.

nothing against you, or anyone who enjoys the show! but i accidentally saw a clip from the final episode that INFURIATED me.

it's luke's betrayal, and somehow....annabeth was there. i don't want to comment on anyone's acting because this is just one scene and i don't want to be too harsh. but my issue is that annabeth was there at all.

first off - if she was there, there is no WAYYYYYYYYY annabeth's first instinct would be to attack luke if she overheard him. this is her FAMILY, the one person she truly felt she knew and who she felt knew her. she'd be stunned, man. not defiant in the face of his betrayal. look at the books! she rushes to hold the sky for him, making that decision in the brief moment it causes him pain!

anyway:

annabeth being absent is the POINT. in the books, she doesnt see luke leave, she doesnt know/understand his reasoning, and ON TOP OF ALL THAT she has to wait for like a week for percy to wake up and tell her how things went down. during that week she has to come to terms with the fact that 1. luke's left her and the camp, 2. he attacked percy, 3. he's joined kronos, and 4. he didn't care about her enough to give her an explanation or even say goodbye.

i feel like this DIRECTLY leads into her attitude towards him in EVERY. OTHER. PJO. BOOK following the first one. she is desperate for answers, desperate to believe that there's still some good in him. she wants to hear it from him. she wants to SAVE him. she defends him from percy's judgement MULTIPLE TIMES, tells him percy didn't know him, but she did. she truly believes he's just lost his way. she doesn't understand how he's fallen because she wasn't there to see it. and when she finally does, it's STILL hard for her to process.

i feel like her being there just ruins a lot of that. or maybe i'm just being overly nitpicky. which...that's kinda my thing. wcwsthwas exists because i'm nitpicky.

i don't want to diminish anyone's experience if it's been a positive one, least of all yours because i really do appreciate your inputs! this is just me ranting here because that scene bugged me so much. maybe the rest of the show is great and i'll be eating my words soon enough. i guess we'll have to see!

i'm sorry if this is very harsh - i don't want to offend anyone! i'm ecstatic you like the show, and i don't want to shut anyone down. i know i come off as a rick riordan hater (which i kinda am), but i wouldnt be writing pjo fic if i didn't have a lot of love for the universe he's created. i want to hear all the opinions - the good and the bad. please feel free to share any thoughts in my askbox.

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dare0451 · 4 months

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Why do you feel the need to defend those who are sexually harassing trans women? Why do you think essentially telling other trans women they're being hysterical will help anyone? Why do you feel the need to defend the sanctity of sexually harassing trans women?

hiya!! so. quick thing.

op of that post was right but also a doofus

on the one hand, i have now been made aware of that flurry of asks it was apparently made in response to. those asks are textbook sexual harassment, sole to scalp, and also yes 100% misogyny.

on the other, why the FUCK did that op say "the posts about how transfems and transmascs should just be sucking and fucking" instead of. YKNOW. WHAT WAS HAPPENING?

"post" instead of "ask" makes it seem like something people are just saying on their own blogs, not spamming in ask boxes, and "about how transfems and transmascs should just be sucking and fucking" gets to absolutely 0% of the issue with the asks themselves, and in fact touches on a Separate trend i saw a couple times ages ago, which yes, i still think is just a goofy way of phrasing "be normal and hang out and stop fighting"

And this is an apology, yes, but its not a retraction, so dont take it as one.

i responded absolutely Perfectly to ops words. i was lacking context, but it was context their phrasing Obfuscated the existence of, and as such i feel i acted 100% justifiably. on top of this, one or five assholes spamming shitty asks does not a difference in class interests make. tma/tme is still a useless dichotomy invented by an outsider to drive a wedge in the trans community, our internal equivalent of "lgb drop the t". there is still a trend of transfems (of which i am one, and also i am not innocent of this behavior) insisting on a monopoly of oppression, or being reductive in order to martyrize transfems as a group (ive seen plenty of my sisters say they dont care about the genocide in gaza because "im busy trying to figure out where it's safe to piss" and also many who cross their eyes in order apply the murder rates against trans women of color to instead apply to all trans women, which i feel is pretty flatly racist, or at least reductive) and while im sure SOME people who believe in the value of that dichotomy are normal about it, in fact one was in my dms to Give me the context about the asks which i appreciate deeply i love u bestie, youd have to be a concussed coyote on quaaludes to pretend its not primarily used for transphobia against trans men. its used as a way to misgender and it has no basis in reality.

yall still wanna call me a sex pest pickme who should kill myself after this, be my guest. thats my stance, babe. i wont be responding to anythin else on this matter.

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bridgyrose · 1 year

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ciel maiden au her becomeing maidne aslo kinda headacanon her being rabbit ears fausne hide her ears with that hate you dont have to use that if dont want to but you can

(Hope this works for you.)

“Miss Soleil.”

Ciel took a moment to stand at attention as General Ironwood called for her. “Yes sir?”

“I need you to come with me.”

Ciel paused for a moment and looked over to the tube Penny’s body was kept in as it was repaired and rebuilt. Her hand shook for a moment as her tone slipped from its usual tone. “What for? As Penny’s keeper, I am supposed to stay by her side no matter what until she is repaired and functional.”

Ironwood nodded and turned to walk off. “There’s an important matter I would like to discuss with you. Please, follow me.”

Ciel lingered by Penny for a few moments longer before finally pulling away to follow General Ironwood. She kept a few steps behind the general as she walked, making sure to keep herself in proper form as much as she could. Her eyes glanced at her watch, carefully watching Penny’s vitals until they disappeared and showed only the time. “What do you need me for, general?”

“I’m making a change of plans for your position. Seeing as Penny was a prototype to house the maiden and Specialist Schnee is too close to her sister for the responsibility, you are next in line for a new project.”

“And what project is that?”

“To be the defender of Atlas as the Winter Maiden.”

Ciel paused in her step as she heard the words, not quite registering what the general had meant. “I’m not sure I follow what you mean.”

“I’ll explain everything, however this needs to remain between us.” Ironwood stopped at a door and placed his hand against a scanner. The door opened and he stepped aside. “After you.”

Ciel took a few slow and careful steps into the room and paused as she looked down into a medical bay with an older woman kept in one of the aura transfer machines. Her heart raced for a moment as she took everything in, her well hidden emotions starting to make their way out. “Who is she?”

“She is the winter maiden. She is the key to the relic that this academy hides, and a wielder of magic.”

“Magic… magic doesnt exist.”

“It does, though it seems very few know of it or ever see it.” Ironwood sat down and smiled a bit. “But today, I want you to make a choice. You can become a protector of our kingdom in a way you never could before, or you can go back to watching Penny and wait for her to be rebuilt so you can be her keeper once more.”

Ciel made her way to the window, eyes glued to the old woman. “What’s her name?”

“Her name is Fria. She doesnt have much longer to live, but still long enough for you to make your decision. If you do agree-”

“I’ll do it.”

Ironwood paused for a moment. “Are you sure?”

Ciel nodded and pulled back from the window and looked back at her watch, tapping it impatiently to bring Penny’s vitals back on screen. “It was my job to make sure Penny was safe and on time for everything, to make sure that she had a companion that was trusted and to make sure that anyone she interacted with would not hurt her or know what she is. And I… failed with that. But maybe I can keep her safe once she’s repaired. And protect Atlas.”

Ironwood smiled and nodded. “Then we’ll start the transfer in the morning. I suggest you get some rest and prepare for it.”

Ciel nodded and kept her eyes on her watch as Penny’s vitals rotated back onto the screen. Her heart slowed a bit when she saw that everything was still normal for her in the state she was in. Out of the corner of her eye, she watched Ironwood stand up and leave the room, letting her be alone as she let her thoughts wander on how to protect everyone.

—--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Again.”

Ciel’s eyes glowed with a bright fire as she tried to take a few breaths and watched the field in front of her. Hard light projections of grimm started to appear in the training arena as her eyes moved to each one, trying to track their movements. With almost robotic-like movements, Ciel tried to mimic how she saw Penny fight, eyes moving from one grimm to the next as she sent out shards of ice, fireballs, and directed the wind to keep the grimm at bay. Her aura shattered again as a sabyr knocked her over and the program stopped.

“That’s enough,” Ironwood called out from the observation room. “I’ll see you here again tomorrow, Ciel.”

Ciel struggled to pick herself up as the flames in her eyes died down and the time on her watch started to slow down. She took a few breaths as her semblance slowed everything around her to a complete stop, standing still and letting her aura try to recharge slightly. While her semblance wasnt great for combat, as long as she stood still, she could get the rest she needed. Once she finished, she moved and dropped her semblance, letting time pick up again. “I’m ready for another round.”

Ironwood paused. “Are you sure?”

Ciel nodded and focused as she created a staff with her maiden powers, eyes blazing. “Again!”

#james ironwood #ciel soleil #drabbles #maiden!ciel #maiden!ciel au #ciel should have a time stop semblance #as a treat

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darlingdearestdetective · 1 year

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okay so. i decided to go through the #letters from watson tag to see what new content might have dropped and i was so taken aback by what i saw. im not jewish, so if anything i say is incorrect, then please do correct me. i apologize profusely if i get anything wrong.

the amount of antisemitism coming out of this fandom right now is astounding. the tone-deafness of gentile fans right now? like. im completely disgusted. jewish readers ask us to engage with these stories critically and a bunch of people jump down their throats? the entitlement! its fucking disturbing! so many of you guys are not acting normal.

what is it about what's being said angers yall so much? what part of "reading this hurt me" sounds anything at all like a callout? what is it about jewish people pointing out antisemitism in a text is making so many people defensive? why the fuck are you defending the existence of an antisemetic text in the first place? the lack of reading comprehension here really worries me.

to any jewish folks who might be seeing this: i am so sorry. im sorry that this fandom, a place for you to find a little joy in a little story, has become so toxic. im sorry that you're going through this. my inbox and dms are open if you want to vent or need a friend or anything.

i honestly dont know what to do here. im not jewish, so i want to use my platform to stand with anyone in this fandom who is, to help yall be heard. i want to do more, and am trying to educate myself so that i might be able to help better.

to any fellow gentiles: support jewish people. shut the fuck up and listen when they tell us something is wrong. dont argue. sit down, and learn. all we're being asked to do is acknowledge that something disgustingly hurtful was written, acknowledge that these stories do include racism, antisemitism, and other forms of bigotry. why is that so hard?

i love sherlock so much, but arthur conan doyle was a racist piece of shit! both can be true at the same time, and that doesn't mean that we cant or shouldn't read sherlock stories - what it does mean is that we must be able to engage critically and not let the ugly, horrible parts of these writings be normalized. it was antisemitic back then, and it still is now.

please, lets take a stand against antisemitism. now more than ever, we need to support our jewish friends and listen to what they have to say.

#letters from watson #antisemitism

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xsarcasticwriterx · 2 years

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Wonderwall- part 9

TSummary: bucky learns of what truly happened the night of Tony's party.

Warning: Angst to all fuck, mild fluff at some parts but pretty much angst

Pairings: Stucky x reader, Tony x reader

Notes: heeeey im back againnn

Masterlist

The world felt as if all time stopped. As if all oxygen had been removed from the plane of existence. You were so far gone you couldn't even process the yelling around you. "y/n!" you finally snapped at the yelling of your name. Bucky stared daggers at you. "what happened when you talked to tony at the party?!" he yelled. you opened your mouth which felt as if someone stuffed cotton in your mouth. "I demanded he tell me why he wouldn't talk to me. He said you'd kill him-" you were cut off. "damn right i am" and bucky launched towards tony, steve being the hero he is jumped straight into action pulling bucky back. "buck! buck! calm down" he said trying to keep bucky back. "you told her not to tell me?!" he yelled at tony. tony shook his head "no i simply said you'd kill me but after that i told her and left i never said she couldn't tell you" tony defended. you shot daggers at tony "I was trying to save you from this!" you yelled at him. "This is only happening because you kept it from me!" bucky snapped at you.

"You said you didn't love her!" bucky yelled at tony "I didn't at the time! At least not that i had addressed i don't know maybe i did, fuck bucky i'm having a child with her!" well shit tony that isn't going to help. "no really?! I thought that my girl had my baby not the asshole who seems to backstab me at any chance!" bucky yelled trying to escape Steve's arms again. "says the one who murdered my fucking parents!" tony yelled back. with that...silence. bucky had stilled until he suddenly shoved steve back causing steve to fall. bucky ran shoving tony to the floor getting a few hits before anyone could process what happened and go to grab him. steve finally pulled him away. shoving him towards steves room blocking him from getting back to tony. "Bucky barnes be a father? he can't even have a conversation without going all winter soldier" tony spat as bucky walked away. everyone looked at tony but you looked at bucky who seemed more hurt than angered. he turned walking with steve more willingly. you turned and slapped tony so hard he fell back to the ground. "yknow what tony. I thought you were better than using someone's past against them. fucking asshole!" you yelled and

started walking to steve's room. before you could you felt a hand on your shoulder. turning you saw vision. "vis not now please" you looked at him. "just....love and jealousy do crazy things. Anger usually comes from hurt remember bucky isn't the only one hurt by this event" he said looking at your stomach talking more about the pregnancy rather than this fight. you nodded "thanks vis" you gave him a small smile before continuing to steve's room. knocking you heard a few sniffles released before the door cracked slightly. steve sighed. "y/n..i don't know if you should be here right now." he said. "steve let me talk to him" you begged. steve looked behind him and then turned back to you with an apologetic look "im sorry, love" he said softly. you nodded "i love you bucky" you said at the floor. "I love you steve" you said at him. he gave a small smile "i love you too y/n and he loves you too just...give him space" he said before closing the door.

you felt tears fall from your face. you headed back to your room before hearing another door open. turning you saw tony who looked like he'd been to hell and back with blood dripping from his nose and cuts on his face along with bruises. "y/n-" he spoke. you shook your head "not yet tony" you started to walk off. you heard an angered breath "y'know this is why i didn't want to fucking tell you!" tony yelled at you. you stopped turning back to him "no this is why you dont be fucking selfish and let your feelings ruin everything" you yelled. "selfish?! selfish?! fuck you for trying to not ruin your life and instead staying away reminder you came into my room last night i was doing fine staying away!" he yelled. "how can you claim to be able to be a father and be around for this pregnancy and for me if you cant handle a fucking team meeting with us?!" you yelled.

"....why were you in his room" bucky asked softly. looking up you saw a disheveled bucky. fuck cant he make noise when he walks?! you make a mental note to make every door squeak so you know when to shut up. "buck-" you started before bucky turned back into the room as steve had started to exit. he looked up at you with a sympathetic look. you closed your eyes taking a breath. looking at tony you simply felt all that anger rush back into you. you stormed off into your room. you flopped on your bed screaming into your pillow.

tears flooded the pillow. you rolled over letting your sobs out. that went as horribly as it could and you in turn lost everyone. well maybe not steve but who knows really. you wanted to scream again and again until your voice was gone. you fell back on your bed staring up at your bed. you knew a place you could escape to. you stood up walking out your room. "where are you going?" you heard steve asked. you couldn't face him. "top of a hill where i can scream" you said honestly. "can i come?" he asked. you finally round to face him. he looked as bad as you. "bucky?" you asked. "fell asleep few minutes ago"

you nodded "and us?" you were afraid of the answer. "y/n i knew tony loved you long before he even knew. the second word was out you were pregnant i knew that he couldn't stop himself from falling hell he probably started falling after you two...y'know" he said looking at the floor. "point is, I would never leave you because of how he feels and while i have questions i know you'd never cheat...well...y'know what i mean." he said awkwardly. you nodded. "steve" you said softly. he looked up at you. "thank you." you said walking to him and hugging him. he gave a light laugh "no need to thank me, love. Now let's get out of here" he said squeezing you before letting you go. You two got into the car music softly playing in the back as steve drove. Yall remained in silence with so many questions and words left unsaid. You could feel the tension, so thick you could cut it with a knife, and yet you did nothing but remain silent on the ride except to direct steve on where to go. Soon you saw the thick forest full of trees of various kinds. as steve drove up the hill you saw the field of flowers approaching. steve parked the car and looked over at you. you looked at steve and sighed opening your mouth ready to speak steve cut you off. "we'll talk later" he said getting out of the car. you nodded and exited the car. you walked to the edge of the hill, looking out at the long field of flowers flowing down the slope. you inhaled deeply thinking of the last few months of your life, hell the last few hours of your life. you thought of how you almost died how you were stranded out in space accepting you'd never see any of your friends again and now you were here, pregnant with tony's kids and bucky angry at you and not even talking to tony and steve has so many questions that you can feel him pondering what exactly your keeping from him and bucky. you feel anger souring through you.

How could you have almost died and yet somehow everyone still blames you for something you thought would never occur blames you as if you even thought you would live to see them again, blames you asking you what you were thinking when the truth was you weren't thinking because you thought you were as good as dead. why is this the way things went. you felt your lungs fill with air and your fist curl up. you scream louder than you ever have. you feel energy sour through you feeling the air shift and hearing the trees behind you creaking. "uhm y/n?" you hear steve. you feel tears stream down your face and your throat tighten. you gasp for air as you fall to your knees. you hear steve running to you. "y/n" he says putting a hand on your shoulder as he kneels next to you. you look up at him and see the concern on his face. you look around seeing branches have fallen from the trees and flowers have broken. you hear car sirens going off. "i'm sorry" you whisper. steve wipes your tears "its ok" he says holding you. "It's all ok" he says stroking your cheek of your still falling tears. "I never meant for any of this" you choke out. "I know, I know, everyone just needs time" steve's voice remains soft and gentle. silence soon falls and again you can feel steve's brain spiraling. "ask me" you whisper. "hm?" steve hums. "ask me whatever it is just ask" you say pulling out of Steve's grip. "No-" you cut steve off "ask. ask and get it done with" you say.

"Why didn't you tell me?" He asked softly. "I didn't want you to have to lie to bucky" you say stroking Steve's cheek. "but I could've helped you tell bucky" he said. "I know, but i need to handle this myself at some point and i thought i could know until..." you trail off. steve nods "give bucky time he will come around and tony....that's up to you" he shrugs. your not sure where you stand with tony but what you do know is you will never deprive your kid of a father and if tony and can still be that than who are you to stop it not matter what your personal feelings to him may be. you sigh and look at steve "thank you" you say. steve smiles "no need to thank me" he says kissing your forehead. "how'd you find this place?" he ask. "When the memories got bad and fury was pushing too much id go on a walk, one day i found this place it was peaceful and once i had broken down here and realized no one could hear me and my powers could spiral here and break things without hurting anyone it just became my area for a good bit." you said finally being able to think properly.

steve hummed and held you simply sitting in what was now a peaceful silence. soon time got to you two and you knew you must go. "come on,love" steve said slowly standing. you sighed following after. the car ride steve held your hand and the silence was no longer filled with unanswered questions and betrayel. you sat in the car outside the avengers building feeling anxiety fill you. steve could feel your grip on his hand tighten. "love?" he asked rubbing yout hand. "They all hate me" you whispered. "no they dont bucky is upset and tony is well tony but everyone knows you and knows you would never purposely hurt anyone and that bucky is simply feeling betrayed." steve said softly. you nodded. you released steves hand exiting the car. you walked into the building a silent empty house as everyone was hiding away from any argument that may arise. sighing you walked to steves room.

peaking in you saw bucky still asleep curled into steves pillow. you walked closer seeing his hair a mess and his body seemed so tired. you brushed his hair out of his face sitting by him on the bed. you heard footsteps looking up to see steve. he gave you a soft smile before walking off. you felt tears fall again. you felt horrible for what you did to the man you love. He has been through hell and back and been alive for far longer than he probably even wishes and now you've only hurt him more. You have tried to help him process his past and yet you've caused him so much pain in these past few months you haven't even stopped to think how he may feel about having to raise someone else's son, only concerned if tony would raise his own kid as if you didn't two of the best men in the world right in front of you handing themselves to you. you pushed his hair out of his face. you sae bucky start to stir and stood up. sighing, you nodded and left the room. You walked to your room and laid on your bed feeling your tears stream down your face. You needed to fix this. Need to fix your relationships with those in your life. Need to fix all of it. That's what you would do.

Taglist (yea my bad y'all waited months again)

@solielsfanfics @vicmc624 @mylifeispainandiloveit @frostay @cjand10

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septembersghost · 1 year

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Before I begin I must say I am a swiftie.

I love Taylor. Her music means a lot to me. It literally helped me in a lot of ways. But her recent actions have actually genuinely is upsetting to me(not saying she has to live the way I want her to but I feel really sad). Its just........he is a very disgusting person. He is someone who was literally m@********* in public and made misogynistic comments.

My biggest fury with him was when he called harry a queerbaiter. It was extra hard for me because harry's acceptance was what made me feel peace about my sexuality. I am still figuring out my sexuality and it's mostly fluctuating. He was the first person I saw say 'you dont have to tick every box'. He said that when I was questioning myself for the 100th time. Because if you want to come out to everyone you need a label right! He made me realise it's okay to not know everything and it felt like a warm hug from a friend. And watching M@** ***** call that person a 'queerbaiter' angered me to extreme and 'almost' destroyed my self esteem wondering whether everyone around me thought I was faking for attention too. I know him and Taylor have been friends for a long time but her being romantically linked with someone like that and being so carefree about it while he has been linked to 100th warranted controversy makes me feel sick in the stomach. It makes me wonder if she's like 'I know the things he said/did but I don't care ' and it hurts me so much to even think she feels that way. I know she is a good person and all that but.....the Taylor who made me feel accepted about being the odd kid in the school or the one who understood about my fear of growing up seems so far away. I feel so hurt by the fact that I am feeling this. I think I need to take a distance from her and her art and I don't know how long will that be.

Sorry if I bothered you with such a long paragraph but I feel you can understand this better than anyone here

hi love, i apologize it took me all day to answer this! so i'm going to be honest, i've been thinking about this specific situation ever since the first rumor surfaced, but i didn't address it since i know it sounds like fan-based bias, even though to me it's a larger issue than that.

let me digress for a moment - i've seen a lot of his fans try to defend the n*zi salute as "satire," and that it wasn't meant to be antisemitic, but as a jewish person, i find this deeply troubling, because, even as edgy ~performance art~, using such a direct symbol of hate is never okay (in conjunction with a lyric referencing someone who's been virulently antisemitic in public - and yes, the lyric itself is satirical criticism, but the combination of the two is unsettling, to say the least). it's concerning and it's hurtful and it's inappropriate, full stop. his non-apologies for his grossly racist and sexist comments are as well.

his antics onstage (i have to laugh at the raw steak thing somehow being a criticism of "toxic masculinity"...bro. what?) also cross a line from being performance art to being. ick. (UGH i'd forgotten that other incident you mentioned because it's gross and i blocked it from my memory. just. WHY!!!)

in truth, i had no idea who he was and had never even heard his name (though i was aware of the 1975, i never listened to them) until their album came out last year and suddenly he was spouting off everywhere and doing things and fans began to speak about the old rumors of he and taylor (which i dismissed out of hand, but now. idk). everything i've learned since has been against my will tbh.

which brings us to that awful queerbaiting comment. if you've followed me for any length of time, you know this is a particular hot button issue of mine, i just get incensed at the way that term is misused and weaponized against real people, and harry gets it in a particularly disgusting way because certain sections of the internet seem to feel a superiority complex in tearing him down for existing. never once has harry claimed to be a bastion of queerness or a trailblazer of fashion, and yet he's criticized for...what exactly? being himself? dressing however one chooses without being boxed in by gender expectations is exactly what we're meant to be aiming for, isn't it? not demanding someone's label and identity is supposed to be part of championing the community, isn't it? his choice to remain unlabeled matters. not only because it's no one's business but his own, but also because BEING an unlabeled/mspec person IS itself a whole identity. what matty said about this was appalling and WAY over the line, and particularly disrespectful since they're supposedly friendly. he had no right to make the comments that he did. he should've received more criticism for it than he did (and had he attacked anyone but harry, he probably would have).

(i wish what adam lambert said in response had gotten more traction. Automatically labeling looks and performances that aren’t cisheteronormative as queerbait is “almost underestimating the intelligence of gay people.”)

you feeling enraged and hurt by that is understandable, and you have every right to feel that way. it touches my heart to read that harry has helped you feel more at peace with your sexuality. i've mentioned before that i've grappled with what exactly mine is too and where i fall on whatever spectrum, and just the idea that we don't even HAVE to put a concrete definition on that, or that it's allowed to be fluid, is a relief. i also feel like there's a huge amount of bias where people forget that just because you haven't been in a relationship with someone of ___ identity/gender doesn't mean your own identity isn't real! you DON'T have to tick every box, and you ARE allowed to expand or change along the way, and you're still you and still valid! nobody has to have one set label forever, and nobody else is owed that explanation from you!

He made me realise it's okay to not know everything and it felt like a warm hug from a friend. 🥺💕💕💕 this is so sweet and i feel confident he would be touched by it too.

i am SO sorry that what matty said hurt you the way that it did, it was a reckless, thoughtless thing of him to say, and you and every other person who is working out their identity or who feels confident remaining unlabeled deserves better than him cruelly running his mouth. (which i also think had a level of jealousy in it, because, let's be honest here - he's never going to be harry, success-wise, and he also admitted harry declined to perform at his show, so). matty has frustrated and upset me on multiple occasions since i became aware of his behavior, and you're allowed to feel that way.

regarding taylor, as i said earlier, of course we have no control nor input over what she does or who she associates with, and much as we may love her, she is just a flawed human being too and she has made mistaken choices, and has overlooked behavior from others that perhaps she shouldn't have, or that we wouldn't ourselves, but only she can make those decisions for her life. i've seen a lot of disgust and concern over this on my dash, and i'm with everyone on all of that, but at the same time i think it's a bit of a wake-up call that she is her own autonomous woman whom we do not know personally, and we have to find our own ways to approach that boundary. if that means ignoring this until it blows over, if that means taking space away from her for a while, if that means making silly jokes. i think as long as we're not harassing others (which you would never! <3 but the uptick in cruel anons/death threats that have happened this past month make me sad and i wish everyone could take a breath and...not do that!), however we choose to deal with it is the best we can do. i tend to suspect she's been going through it, and maybe this won't last long, but that doesn't make it a great look nor is it unconcerning. regardless, you should do what's best for yourself and look out for your well-being. if that means detaching for a while, i promise it doesn't make you a bad fan, even though i know that hurts ("the Taylor who made me feel accepted about being the odd kid in the school or the one who understood about my fear of growing up seems so far away." though i'm older than you, this happened to me in my own sense during my 1989 disconnect. i really do get it, and seeing a similar pattern here is a bit painful). i also want to say that i think, knowing what we do know about her and her character and kindness, she'd still want you to feel accepted and loved, and wouldn't align with the trashy things he's said and done, but i understand why willingness to overlook it hurts as well.

thank you for confiding in me and letting this out, i know it's hard to talk about and feeling distanced from an artist with such meaning to you is a specific ache. the only advice i can give you is to step back however you need to, for however long you need to. whether you feel comfortable still holding onto her music but separating from her personally (and/or from tour), or whether you need space from all of it for a while, remember that it's always going to be there, and you can always come back. in the meantime, you can also turn to places and artists that are continuing to give you comfort (like harry, and i'm so glad he is that for you).

for what it's worth, i love you and i know your identity is worthwhile, and YOU are worthwhile, and you deserve to feel safe and embraced and seen. anywhere you go, you don't need a reason. 💛💛💛

#anonymous #letterbox #your delicate point of view #ngl i wish this. was not what it is.#but unfortunately all we can do is deal however we're individually comfortable dealing #and hold onto the good however we can

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jackdoe · 2 years

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Ok, i actually love the depiction of the Lord of Hells in EXU: Calamity. Very classical Biblical Devil, "I hate that God loves humanity more then Perfect Me, So now I will devote my life to torchering them for existing!" Combined with a great performance by Brennan. Hes menesing, deranged, and charismatic all in one, A+ character work.

That being said, (and if you've been paying attention I probably sound like a broken record here), At some point we have to address the Elementals.

The Betrayers are certainly not good guys in this situation, they very much seem to be motivated by their own selfishness, but I don't think it's out of line to say the Primordials were kind of Justified in their campaign against the Gods. The Prime Deities came to Exandria and started Terraforming it, now from what Asmodeus said, they did so with the blessing of the Primordials, he is howevera big liar so who's to say what is the truth here, my interpretation is that he was using the Truth to manipulate, in that I dont think he actually cares about the Primordials, he just uses their story to make himself look like a hero but I digress. The gods then over extended on their contract when the they gave mortals the ability to use Magic.

Now we don't really know what the Elementals relationship to magical energies are but from this context it seems like it's a fundamental resource to their existence that the Gods started siphoning away to give to their creations. And then when the Primordials began a campaign to take back their home and resources, they were smacked down, incarcerated, or out right killed.

And if you think this story sounds familiar, you're where I am now.

And I understand the mentally of "The Gods were just defending mortal life." I get it. I am a mortal life and I would be very bias against an Entitie who wishes to destroy me, I would value my own existence over something that's very nature is alien to my own, but this is D&D, where anyone and anything has the right to Personhood and Existance, no matter how alien they may appear, including but not limited to Robots, Slimes, Demons, Giant Bugs, Psychic Squid People, and sometimes even Sentient Sandwiches that float around using a Mage Hand.

At some point I hope that Critical Role does give these beings the Dignity and Nuance they deserve. To do anything less would be a waste.

#Critical role #Critrole #exu: calamity #exandria unlimited #exandria lore

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alicebellphagoraalbrecht · 2 years

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Genshin Impact, Hoyoverse and the problems Twitter wont allow you to critique

The Genshin fandom is unique to me. I have been in many fandoms and some of them were incredebly toxic. I watched Netflix´s Voltron and engaged with the fandom. What makes Genshins fandom so odd to me is how hellbend they are to defend Hoyoverse. Even against reasonable outrage. To the point they demand you echo chamber every single post of any kind and never breathe out a negative opinion ever. And I dont get it.

Now personally I have this quirk where I struggle to talk about the things I like in media I enjoy. I cant meaningfully vocalize why I enjoy something. I just do. I like the look, the feel or the plot and I do just because. But when it comes to things I dislike in the media I enjoy I can actually go much more in depths and when I talk to people I want to have something to say beyond "Heh this character looks neat." I want to have meaningful conversations. But this fandom doesnt let me do that. If you like something and enjoy it you can still dislike aspects of it and if its a game or product activly being rolled out you should voice these dislikes in hopes of making a change. That is how I feel. Of course I take part in surveys but I also post it online or under related posts, assuming people are willing to discuss.

Instead I get pushed back and told to silence myself or go into a lonely corner where I cant bother anyone and I dont understand why. What makes Hoyoverse so deserving of this kind of protection. Im just one random as hell person. They stock market wont crash when I say their character design after Yelan has become stale, uninspired and down right ugly in Tighnaris case. "I like him." Is not a good argument to disprove my points. Of course you can like him, Im not saying you shouldnt! Or you cant.

But what has Hoyoverse done to deserve the defensive fandom? -Shit on their fans -releasing bugged or broken characters (Xinyan is still not fixed) -41 out of 43 characters are pale with only 1 new tanned character in sight -6 body models they are stubbornly holding onto (Itto being shafted by the fans obsessing over Ayato who turned out 100 times more boring than Itto) -A weird fixation on keeping the toddler body type exlcusivly female (Lolicon bait) -The Anniversary debacle -Exploititive publicity stunts -They are stingy with rewards, at least compared to the other gacha games I play. (You get 150 primos for clearing Floor 12 in the Abyss, the worst and most difficult thing to do in this game and you do not get a single pull for it.) -They make the game a pain/impossible for new players

The laundry list could probably go on if we get really nitpicky. But I personally am mostly concerned about plot and character design. As well as Quality of life. I will rund down my issues.

Plot: Every big event, usually the big event of the new patch, has a very important plot detail put in it. Recently in the chasm we learned what happened to the lost Yaksha. But any new player joining will not have that information. They cannot experience said cutszenes themselves they need to outsource to you tube, external to Hoyoverse. You cant even rewatch regular cutszenes without going to random you tube channels.

Character Design: I think the biggest issue is quite obvious. The skin type diversity does not exist. Neither does body type. Character design is strictly bound to 6 models. Toddler, teenager x2, adult x2 and kinda slightly more buff man. And thats it. Despite enemy models having more unique shapes. So models exist that could be used? Granted Im not a game developer so maybe that would be difficult to pull off. We currently have 43 playable characters with 4 unique skin types. Pale, 1 character with a warmer pale skin tone and 1 character with grey skin and then 2 tanned characters. Since Im not allowed to argue about representation according to Twitter I will just say that seeing the same stuff over and over again is becoming quite stale. Even for me. A white lady. We now got the Fatui Harbingers revealed and that seems hype at first until you realize that on one hand they are generic anime villains you have all seen before. And on the other hand Hoyoverses strict 6 model concept made it obvious which of them will die for sure. Which really shouldnt happen. Dont get attatched to Igor but Genshin, tiny elderly man is not a viable playable model, he is dead meat. Sumeru in general has no theme to its designs, even excluding leaks (though the official art confirmed the leaks as accurate) while you could tell if a character was from Mondstadt, Inazuma or Liyue you seriously cant with Sumeru. Tighnari and Dori look so unlike each other I would believe you if you told me they were from different games.

Quality of Life: The most obvious issues is the Artifact RNG, I think its the one thing we can all agree on. But also why cant we safe artifact sets to quick switch between builds?

Most importantly though New Players. If you were to join now and pull Kujo Sara off the standard banner you would get stuck with a completely useless unit until you finish all of Mondstadt and Liyue and some long winding quests in Inazuma. By then you probably already invested in more accessable characters and no longer need a Kujo Sara or you no longer like her because of the hassle. And maybe you think its not that bad. But it wont get better over time. Imagine the last region comes out. And you see the cryo archon deciding thats the character you will start playing for… if you even get her you then have her in Mondstadt. If you´re lucky someone pointed out the test run so you can at least get her to lvl 40. But thats it. Until you do EVERYTHING to get to Sneznaya you will not be able to level her talents. Get her past lvl 40 etc. Making your Archon a brick you have to drag along. And this needs to be pointed out and complained about or it wont change and lets be real here! Hoyoverse doesnt read our surveys. Its just a front to make us feel heard. Customer Service is so bad you are lucky if you get a hacked account back, though even if you do they dont restore destroyed or wasted currency or items.

The fix isnt even that difficult. Put in a traveling merchant who sells materials like Kujo Saras flowers. Hell put a buying limit of ten each week in and cycle it out each day.

Make a dream solvent type item for regular bosses. So you can transform the loot from the cryo regisvine into that of the electro oceanid. Hoyoverse still forces you to farm for resin but you can level your character at least.

I sincerely like the game despite my rough tone on twitter, but I am frustrated and feel unseen and silenced by a fanbase that rather die on the hill of defending a BILLION dollar company than admit flaws with this game. I just want the game improve and not be milked and lef tin the dust for other games. Because thats what happening. Genshin is financing Star Rail and other Hoyoverse projects and they put in the bare minimum for their cash cow to stay marketable when New Players are truely the ones most fucked over.

#genshin impact #critique #hoyoverse #text post

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allofuswantgwinam · 5 months

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ik i said i was logging out bc jungkook’s sexiness but jking bc random deep thought.

back to my lil nas x opinion. People will defend something that truthfully we don’t exactly know is real or not. There’s so many different religions, all that. so it’s like for me… I see all these people defend all this stuff that isn’t even physically visible and like these man made bibles…. Yet a lot of these same people DONT FUCKING CARE ABOUT LITERAL HUMAN BEINGS ON THIS EARTH. I CANT MAKE IT MAKE SENSE. I’m not like hating on religious people or anything, i just don’t understand the mindset of a lot of religious people. “Love thy neighbor” where??? a lot of these people love something that might not even exist more than they love any other human being because they say their religion is against it and blah blah, I do not understand. I’m spiritual, I believe in the afterlife and your ancestors all that, but like I cannot wrap my head around these people that think everyone should live in fear because of some man in the sky. I personally think religion is the root of all the hate in this world ironically enough. That’s my point. I did not have much time to type this bc I have to clock back in rip but like if anyone relates pls lmk and if you think I’m wrong ig lmk if you want, freedom of speech. Just don’t be a jerk bc I don’t feel like I was a jerk 😭😭🫶🏼

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walnutcookie · 8 months

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The lore behind these costumes interests me :DDDD Imust know morr

ive been putting this ask off for a while cause i wanted to make a comic out of this au and didnt want to spoil it but idk if ill have the time so ill just talk about it HBZKZBAKEBD

THANK YOU SOSOSO MUCH FOR THIS ASK BTW /GEN AGAJAHAHA I APPRECIATE IT SO MYCH

ill be focusing on langues costume cause . ill be honest im still figurijg out cappuccinos!!!

so this starts DIRECTLY after pursuit/search for lost time . Roguefort had been accused of touching an object from the past which caused a butterfly effect and fucked with the timeline , and the tbd caught onto this and had them arrested. they have their own court cause like. Theyre meant to be a secret organization and they need to hold trials for people who commit time crimes but they couldnt just hold a normal trial cause that wouldnt be very secretive!!!! also disclaimer i dont know much about law HEOP

if anyone reading this doesnt know my polt fanon already i will not be linkimg my ramble post about it because i really need to rewrite it (i hate how little walnut is included) but long story short roguefort is blinded by rage and um. sets their family's house on fire and causes an event that happened when they were a child where their whole family died!! they are Not doing very well mentally at this moment and timekeeper decided it would be funny to put them on trial so she framed them for touching the object. this is all literally just tk entertaining themself (nobody knows shes behind it all)

roguefort needs a lawyer and timekeeper decides to drop into langues office and . Practically threatens to kill langues parents if they dont agree to defend roguefort. they agree and then rogueforr just fucking falls through a time rift onto the floor and they are Not doing too well. timekeeper leaves and suddenly theyre on their knees begging langue to just let them go to jail (theyre filled with unbearable guilt for doing something so awful and they dont want to admit that theyve actually killed a mansion full of people but eveeryone at least thinks they caused a disruption in the timeline,, they want to go to prison so bad because they just want to be punished they want their guilt to be relieved they want to feel like theyve paid for what theyve done and thats why they want to go to jail so badly)

langue tries to ask rogue what exactly theyre going to be arguing against but. Yeah theyre not in a state to be explaining that thankfully a time rift opens and theres a case file that drops on their desk

Theres BARELY any evidence towards rogue. i dont want to spoil the actual evidence parts (i have thought it all out) (also it would take too long to explain every little thing) and like. Langue doesnt exactly doubt that theyve done the crime but they remain optimistic because they have to prove rogue innocent no matter what. timekeeper never specified if they have to just defend rogue in court or actually win so theyre going to try their best to win

i never figured out exactly how but like . Walnut hears abt whats going to happen and runs up to langue and BEGS them to let her help and they end up agreeing since she knows so much about phantom bleu

the prosecutor in this case is chocolate graham cookie, an oc of mine (and a custom by @/incorrectinfinity). He was hired by the TBD and handles a lot of the trials involving time crimes and he is Undefeated. hes never lost. and during the trial he somehow just keeps pulling out more and more evidence that comes out of NOWHERE but apparently exists and every single time langue and walnut are able to point out a flaw. Eventually the evidence starts contradicting itself and just gets more and more confusing and ridiculous until walnut realizes Holy macaroni graham is messing with the timeline. Every time his evidence is proven useless he just goes back using this watch he has and messes with the crime scene to make rogue look guilty and thats whats been happening with EVERY trial hes done

it turns out hes just Really greedy and an asshole who will break the very laws he claims to enforce just to get more money !!! so hes arrested by the TBD and roguefort is declared innocent the end yayyyyyyyyyyyyyyy yippie!!!!! wahoo!!! yayyyyy ^_^ lalalallayayayay woooooo!!!!

and the tbd just. Does not care about all of rogues other crimes They have much more important things to do like keep the timeline in check they dont care if some phantom thief is stealing diamonds in a random city. they just let them go home since they werent the one tampering with the timeline LOL

honestly considering adding it to my fanon itself but. I need to work out my polt lore first LOL

#🎉 rambles

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someguynamedraeburn · 2 years

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Discussing politics amongst friends.

So, i started this whole page mostly as a joke and partly out of spite of some ridiculous post going off about how some one wanted to feel special to the point they tried to ruin others fun and a good pastime.

since then I have on several occasions, conversations and topics that have arisen, I’ve been tempted to come back and just throw my thoughts to the void. i dont expect, want or even think anyone should interact with anything i post here. if some one does i’d like to think that i would respond and try to have a discussion with the. if today is anything to go by however, i’m not sure that would serve the purpose i’m looking for.

why am i telling you all this? im not, im just vomiting words out onto a screen into a void. why I’m doing this however, that’s easy, PEOPLE NEED TO TALK.

I was having a discussion in general about politics with a couple of friends when the conversation turned to the idea of early education about the LGBT in school and Florida’s “dont say gay bill” that was passed, and while discussing such topic one friend then asked me “what do you think they’re going to do with the bill and how they’re going to implement it.

to which i simply responded “i don’t know, break it down for me like i dont know the situation.” which was my way of trying to give them an opening to explain and express their fears about this bill, to which they simply pointed to a bunch of rhetoric about the LGBT being groomers. and then they immediately shut down the conversation by stating matter of fact like that i was “standing up for people who very much are trying to hurt people like me.” they then followed this up with a couple examples of people using rhetoric of the LGBT being gromers.

I wasnt defending them nor was i even given a chance to respond before they simply dipped out of the conversation. (Note; i do not hold this against them, i believe at any point if you feel that you find yourself going around and around in circles that you probably need to take a step back and maybe MAYBE try again later.) i wasnt afforded any such situation to make myself clear nor was any question i asked about it answered by this friend, just pointing to people going “but they called the LGBT groomers” doesnt answer the questions i was asking because i never asked about the people being pointed to, i was simply asking for what they think was going to happen. I never got an answer.

onto the other friend in this conversation, they do or at least appear to agree with our first friends comments, but were willing to at first glance continue having a discussion about the topic. so for only a brief moment i thought that there might be a chance i could be educated on this further, maybe clear up my misunderstandings that i had,

unfortunately this wasnt the case as it once again just rolled back around to the arguement of, “well they are going to use to some how abuse kids. I don’t know how teachers not being able to give specific information to the parents about the kids (in relation the being LGBT) can be abused. Maybe some one who reads this eventually can tell me. All i can be certain of was that i wasnt going to get anywhere with these two tonight, so i called it and went about my night,

So, this is what this will be for the most part, Me just yelling into the void about: well probably anything and everything., probably mostly just things i need to say and dont really need anyone i know to hear, (to the one person i know knows this exists... this is your chance to get out,)

until the next time i need to scream into the void, take care of yourselves, look out for one another, and try to educate people when you can, don’t just walk away when some ones asking questions. They might be genuine and you might make an ally in your fight,

Signed

This Asshole on the internet.

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attemptsonherlifepdf · 3 years

Text

bojack horseman and bo burnham: the art of acting like you’re acting and the comedy of misery

at the core of bojack horseman, raphael bob-waksberg’s 2014 comedy, is a story about the relationship between performance and depression. the protagonist of this renowned tragicomedy is best described as a sympathetic villain; he is shown to clearly be in the wrong across various events of the show, and is explicitly referred to as a bad person, but the audience is granted deep access to his personal struggles, resulting in some portions of the audience finding themselves on bojack’s side. the duality of his character is complex, but can be broken down into some core components, that all stem from the impacts of stardom and performance. the standup comedy of bo burnham arguably echoes this sentiment in real time. having been a performer from a young age, burnham creates work that serves as a satirical commentary on the life of entertainers. he uses original songs to explore the reliance upon and resentment for his performative nature both onstage and within his personal life. both the comedian and the netflix show are widely understood to be thinly veiling their critiques of the entertainment industry behind a particular brand of witty and absurd humour.

both bojack and burnham’s content openly criticises their audiences and explicitly states the manufactured nature of the narrative the audience is fed. in the fifth season of bojack horseman, the show satirises itself by having bojack star in a police procedural drama, parts of which are actively written by other characters to reflect events of bojack’s life. the titular character he plays, philbert, is the epitome of selfish male angst, and an example of what bob-waksberg’s show could have been; another story about a sad and angry man whose guilt supposedly makes up for the people he has hurt. according to bojack, philbert teaches us ‘we’re all terrible, so we’re all okay’, an interpretation that is harshly disputed by diane: ‘that’s not the point of philbert, for guys to watch it and feel okay. i dont want you, or anyone else, justifying their shitty behaviour because of the show.’ this moment is a direct reaction to some of the online reception bojack horseman has received. various circles of the show’s fanbase have found themselves relating to the protagonist to the point of defending his untoward behaviour, a response not intentioned by the show’s creators. this is not the only example of bob-waksberg’s ability to make his work self-evaluative. in season six’s exposure of bojack and sarah lynn’s problematic relationship, characters question their sexual encounter from the first season. the writers use this as a way of examining their own choices, and the harmful tropes they played into when using this exploitative sexual encounter as a gag. this self-evaluative quality is what sets bojack apart as a show that assesses the performance it participates in, much like the comedy of bo burnham.

bo burnham is known for directly addressing his audience, particularly in terms of discouraging idolisation and parasocial relationships. some examples of this manifest as responses to hecklers rather than a planned bit in the show, for instance:

heckler: i love you!

bo: no you don’t

heckler: i love the IDEA of you!

bo: stop participating!

he actively addresses the issues posed by being an entertainer, and encourages the audience to understand and recognise that his onstage persona is just that: an exaggerated persona. not once does burnham claim to be fully authentic onstage, and even moments of authenticity we see in his latest special, inside, are staged. we make the assumption that having the physical setting of a stage stripped away grants us a more personal look at the entertainer’s life, but he makes it clear that even in his own home we still see the aspects he has carefully constructed rather than the full truth. arguably though, parts of the show really are authentic; in his monologue during make happy, bo deconstructs his own show in a way that is similar to bojack horseman’s later seasons, admitting that all he knows is performing and thus making a show about the more mundane and relatable aspects of life would feel ‘incredibly disingenuous.’ in his attempts to separate himself from this onstage persona he actually manages to blur the lines between what is acting and what is now part of his nature as a result of his job. this notion is echoed in bojack horseman as bojack’s attention seeking nature is attributed to his years acting in front of a camera every day.

bo suggests that the era of social media has created a space in which children’s identities mimic that of an entertainer like himself, describing the phenomenon as ‘performer and audience melded together.’ in this observation he criticises the phenomenon. bo attempts to force the audience to recognise the ways in which their lives are becoming shaped by the presence of an audience and to some extent uses his own life as a warning tale against this. he points out the way in which the ‘tortured artist trope’ means that your cries for help or roundabout attempts of addressing mature themes such as substance abuse, mental illness and trauma become part of that on stage persona and therefore become part of the joke. both bo and bojack address these topics in more discrete manners earlier in their careers, but this eventually becomes expected, and thus they are forced to explicitly detail their struggles with these topics in order to be taken seriously. even then, portions of the audience are inclined to see it as part of the persona or as something that fuels the creators creativity and thus does not need to be addressed as a legitimate issue. the emphasis on creating a character or persona promotes the commodification of mental illness: any struggle must be made into a song or a joke or a bit, must be turned into part of the act in order to have value. this actually serves to delegitimise these emotions and create a disconnect between the feeling and the person, as it becomes near impossible to exist without feeling as though you are acting. even when an artist’s cries for help become blatant, they continue to go ignored because now they serve the purpose of creating content that criticises the industry they stem from. online audiences can be seen as treating bo burnham and his insightful work as existing to demonstrate the negative effects entertaining can have, and because this insight is useful or thought-provoking to audiences, he is almost demanded to keep entertaining and creating. in response to this demand, his work becomes more meta and his messages become clearer, and the more obvious his messages, the more people he reaches. this increases audience demands and traps entertainers in a cycle fraught with internal conflict.

during bojack’s second season, bojack’s date asks him, ‘come on, do that bojack thing where you make a big deal and everyone laughs, but at the same time we relate, because you're saying the things polite society won't.’ this moment exemplifies how aspects of his genuine personality have now become a part of his persona and this is demanded of him in genuine and serious situations, undermining the validity of his emotional reactions. he immediately makes a rude comment to the waitress at the restaurant they’re in and satisfies his date by performing that character he has set himself out to be. some circles of the fan base have argued that bojack is written as a depiction of somebody with borderline personality disorder, offering a psychoanalytical lens through which to view this notion of performance. a defining symptom of borderline personality disorder is a fluctuating sense of self; having grown up on camera, being demanded to perform to others as young as six years old, bojack’s sense of self will have been primarily dictated by the need to act. whether this acting is for the sake of comedy, or as a representation of masking his mental illness, when they need to act is taken away bojack entirely loses his sense of self and relapses into his addictions: ‘i felt like a xerox of a xerox of a person.’ burnham’s depictions of depression run along a similar vein; in his new special he poses the idea that his comedy no longer serves the same personal purpose it once did for him. he questions ‘shit should I be joking at a time like this?’ and satirises the idea that arts have enough value to change or impact the current global issues that we are facing. burnham’s ‘possible ending song’ to his latest special, he asks ‘does anybody want to joke when no-one’s laughing in the background? so this is how it is.’ implicit in this question is the idea that when the audience is taken away and there is nobody to perform his pain to, he is left with his pain. instead of being able to turn his musings and thoughts into a product to sell to the public, he is forced to just think about them in isolation and actually face them, an abrupt and distressing experience.

the value of performance and art is questioned by both bojack and burnham, particularly during the later years of their respective content. burnham’s infamous song, art is dead, appears to be a direct response to the question ‘what is the worth of art?’ he posits that performing is the result of a need for attention (‘my drug’s attention, i am an addict, but i get paid to indulge in my habit’) and repeatedly jokes throughout his career that the entertainment industry receives more respect that it deserves (‘i’m the same as you, im still doing a job or a service, i’m just massively overpaid’). his revelations regarding the inherent desire for attention that runs through all entertainers is frequently satirised in bojack horseman. bojack is comically, hyperbolically attention hungry and self-obsessed, and the show has a running gag in which he uses phrases along the lines of ‘hello, why is nobody paying attention to me, the famous movie star, instead of these other boring people.’ his constant attempts to direct the focus of others towards himself result in bojack feeling like ‘everybody loves you, but nobody likes you.’ his peers buy into his act and adore the comical, exaggerated, laughable aspects of his character, but find very little room to respond to him on a genuinely personal level because of this. interestingly, bojack appears to enjoy catering to his audience and the instant gratification it produces, whereas bo burnham becomes increasingly candid about his mixed feeling towards his audience. ‘i wanna please you, but i wanna stay true to myself, i wanna give you the night out that you deserve, but i wanna say what i think and not care what you think about it.’ he admits to catering to what audiences want from him, but resents both the audience and himself in the process as it reveals to himself which parts of his character are solely for the sake of people watching him.

within bojack horseman, this concept is applicable not only to the protagonist, but to the various forms of performer demonstrated in the plot. towards the show’s end, sarah lynn asks ‘what does being authentic have to do with anything?’ to which herb kazzaz responds, ‘when i finally stopped hiding behind a facade i could be at peace.’ this highlights the fact that because entertainers are demanded to continue the facade, they do not receive the opportunity to find ‘peace.’ this sentiment is scattered throughout the show, through a musical motif, the song ‘don’t stop dancing.’ the song stems from a life lesson bojack imparted to sarah lynn at a young age, and becomes more frequently used as the show progresses and bojack’s situation worsens.

sarah lynn is also used to explore the value of entertainers; in the show’s penultimate episode, she directly compares her work as a pop icon to the charity work of herb, arguing that if she suffered in order to produce her work. it has to mean something. she lists the struggles she faced when on tour: ‘i gave my whole life...my manager leaked my nudes to get more tour dates added, my mom pointed out every carb i ate, it was hell. but it gave millions of fans a show they will never forget and that has to mean something.’ implicit in this notion is the idea that entertainment is the epitome of self-sacrifice. there is a surplus of mentally ill individuals within the industry, largely due to the nature of the industry itself, but some may argue that the cultural grip the industry has, and the vast amounts of respect and money it generates annually, gives the suffering of these prolific individuals meaning.

the juxtaposing responses entertainers feel towards their audiences manifest as two forms of desperation: the desperation to be an individual who is held accountable, and the desperation to be loved and validated. we see both bojack and bo depict how they oscillate between ‘this is all a lie’ and ‘my affection for my audience is genuine’, or between ‘do not become infatuated with me im a character’ and ‘please fucking love my character i do not know how to be loved on a personal level.’ bojack explicitly asks diane to write a slam piece on him and ‘hold him accountable’, similar to bo’s song ‘problematic’ in which the hook includes the phrase ‘isn’t anybody gonna hold me accountable?’ for his insensitive jokes as a late teenager. their self-awareness is what enables their self-evaluative qualities, but self-awareness is its own issue. bojack grapples with a narcissistic view of his own recognition of his behaviour before settling on a more nuanced, albeit depressing take. originally he makes the assumption that in recognising the negative aspects of himself, he is superior to those who behave similarly: ‘but i know im a piece of shit. that makes me better than all the pieces of shit that don’t know theyre pieces of shit.’ eventually, during his time at rehab he is forced to reconcile with the fact that self awareness does not, to put it bluntly, make you the superior asshole, it just makes you the more miserable one. the show does, however, make a point to recognise how the entertainment industry protects ‘pieces of shit’, prioritising their productive value over how much they deserve to be held accountable, demonstrated using characters like hank hippopoalus. the show itself obviously stems from the entertainment industry, as it is a form of media produced by netflix, one of the most popular streaming platforms available. bojack horseman and bo burnham represent the small corner of the industry that is reflective enough to showcase the damage it inflicts. this is powerful in terms of education and awareness, and urges audiences to question their own motives and versions of performance, but the reflection alone is not powerful enough to help the artists in question. burnham’s candid conversations surrounding his mental health continue to reveal a plethora of issues somewhat caused or sustained by the nature of his career. within bojack horseman, bojack is only able to stop hurting other characters when those characters construct a situation that forces him to face consequence, his introspection alone is not enough. while bojack ends on a message of hope, suggesting to the audience that reverting back to the status quo is not the only acceptable way for events to end, it leaves stinging lessons and social commentary with the audience regarding the unnatural and damaging narrative that performers live through. on a similar but markedly different note, bo burnham’s work and personal progression is playing out in real time, and not in a way that is as raw and genuine as it appears. each bit is planned, even the most vulnerable moments that appear unplanned and painful. his latest special is not entirely devoid of hope, but does translate to audiences as a somewhat exaggerated look around the era of social media and the development of performance, using himself as an example.

the absurdist humour that often acts as a vehicle for poignant statements or emotionally provocative questions is very specific to each media creator. bob-waksberg’s use of puns, tongue twisters and entirely ridiculous circumstances served to simultaneously characterise his points as an expected part of the show’s style of humour, similar to bojack’s emotional instability, but also to make them appear gut-punching in comparison to the humour. burnham’s work is similar in that poignant but blunt statements are often sandwiched between absurd and exaggerated jokes, making them stand out via contrast but not giving the audience too much time to dwell upon them as they are said. performance art is second nature to entertainers, and is presented a an issue that is infiltrating the general population via social media rather than solely affecting the ‘elites’. bojack horseman and bo burnham present the duality of artists simultaneously attempting to level the playing field and increase their chances of survival in the industry, and encourage audiences to know that everyone is bluffing and you’ll never have the right cards anyway.

i.k.b

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kpostedsum · 3 years

Text

daddy issues; D.M

summary: you and draco bond over issues in 6th year

word count: 2.4k

warnings: err angst, comfort, illusions to sex

song: daddy issues (the remix) - the neighbourhood

a/n: i tried not to make it stereotypical bc i didn’t wanna make it seem all “i like older men lol”, probably my fav fic i’ve written, also arent these anime gifs so cute

masterlist | taglist

Take you like a drug

I taste you on my tongue

Tongues battling for dominance, bodies rubbing against each other searching for a feeling. It’s become routine now, a different person in your dorm swallowing a new pill, entangling limbs with someone just to feel something.

You ask me what I'm thinking about

I tell you that I'm thinking about

Whatever you're thinking about

Tell me something that I'll forget

And you might have to tell me again

It's crazy what you'll do for a friend

It was a constant cycle, putting yourself out there seeking the male attention you crave, seeking validation, constant reassurance and trusting too easily. That’s how you ended up with a different guy who always in the end leaves. You trusted too easily and people took advantage of how trusting and naive you are just for a quick shag.

You wished it wasn’t like this but that’s all you knew, wanting to be the best version of yourself for someone just to feel needed, no matter if the person was good or bad for you. You didn’t care, you wanted love from anyone you could get it from even if it just hurt you more.

You’re familiar with the absence, something stable made you feel a bit wary. It wasn’t something you were used to. Your father wasn’t the most present in your life, and even though he's there, he's never really there.

Go ahead and cry, little girl

Nobody does it like you do

I know how much it matters to you

I know that you got daddy issues

And if you were my little girl

I'd do whatever I could do

I'd run away and hide with you

I love that she's got daddy issues, and I do too

You always wondered where you went wrong, he preferred your siblings over you and doesn't pay you a piece of his mind. Constantly going out of your way to get his attention whether it was academically or acting a certain way just to get some sort of reaction. But he was too preoccupied with his other children, even if they were from your mom or his affairs.

That’s how you found yourself right now sitting in the astronomy tower past curfew watching the rain fall, trying to clear your head while humming softly to yourself to keep yourself distracted.

You hear distant chattering from below and quickly get up from where you were sitting and make your way to your dorm unnoticed by anyone.

Except one person, Draco Malfoy.

I tried to write your name in the rain

But the rain never came

So I made with the sun

The shade

Always comes at the worst time

He’s seen you before, you’re known around Hogwarts for how you put yourself out there and how ‘desperate’ you are for some affection. He almost feels bad for you, but he’s in no place to judge. With his dad in Azkaban Draco had so much more to worry about, like his task and how he can succeed. But there was something about you that intrigued him that he couldn't ignore.

He saw you again in transfiguration the next day and noticed a few hickeys littering your neck that you had tried to cover but it didn’t work. He wondered why you gave yourself up to so many people, but once again he was in no place to judge. He noticed the way your tongue would stick out when you focused extra hard, the way your hands would tighten around your quill when you got a question wrong and your face.

The same face that many boys including the older years would fawn over, the face that entranced and attracted many, the face of someone who would do anything for someone for some affection and the face of someone who seeked out all the wrong things.

You ask me what I'm thinking about

I tell you that I'm thinking about

Whatever you're thinking about

Tell me something that I'll forget

And you might have to tell me again

It's crazy what you'll do for a friend

You walk out of transfiguration on your way to the owlery to send a letter to your parents and feel eyes watching you everywhere. You like it, the attention, it’s something that you thrived in, but you couldn’t help but feel a new set of eyes on you.

Once you reached the owlery you realized you weren't the only one there, Draco Malfoy was also there sending a letter to who you assumed was his mother.

“y/n, right?” he asked, trying to spark a conversation.

“Yea, listen i’m sorry about what happened with your father i know you really looked up--”

“Dont worry about it, he wasn’t as good an influence as I made him out to be,” he sighed, looking away.

“My dad isn’t the best either if i’m being honest, i guess we’re in the same boat” you let out a light chuckle.

And that’s how you found yourself hanging out with draco malfoy bonding over your shared issues.

Go ahead and cry, little girl

Nobody does it like you do

I know how much it matters to you

I know that you got daddy issues

And if you were my little girl

I'd do whatever I could do

I'd run away and hide with you

I love that she's got daddy issues

It’s been weeks since you two started hanging out since the interaction in the owlery and have been getting closer ever since. You both sat down together in the astronomy tower, backed against the wall as the cool wind blew against your faces. The aura between you two was calm, a comfortable silence.

“So tell me about your dad, how is it with him in Azkaban?” you asked, tilting your head towards him.

“Mother’s not taking it well” he frowned. “I can’t even say potter’s wrong for getting him locked up because he deserves it. All my life he praised the dark lord and taught me to be selfish and always defend my blood, but he was never there for me when I needed him. I would have done everything just to hear ‘i’m proud of you’ but it never came. It’s worse now because mother’s all alone. I wish I could have stayed with her” he sighed looking out the tower watching the stars twinkle.

“I’ve noticed you’ve been much quieter this year as well, you stopped making fun of people. It’s not that nice on the receiving end huh?” you said with a teasing look on your face.

He shook his head at you scooting closer to you, it’s like the demeanor between you two have changed over the past few weeks. You found yourself pining over him rather than being in someone's bed. But this is how the cycle always goes, you get attached and they leave, you couldn’t help but hope this wasn’t the situation this time.

“Tell me about your father”

Daddy stuck around but he wasn't present

Cheated on your mom but she never left him

First I didn't get it, now I understand

He broke her heart, left money in her hand

So everything got paid for

She made sure you and your brother had way more

Than she ever had growing up

And when you told me the whole story I felt like throwing up

“ I don't know if i’d even call him my father at this point, he doesn't want me.” you sighed. “He's been cheating on my mum for years now and she still won't leave him because she thinks they can work it out. He’s had affairs with different pureblood women and has children with them. But what hurts the most is how he treats them as his own children and treats me as if I don't exist” you said, looking down as tears pooled your eyes.

Draco moved closer to you and brought his arm around your shoulders for a sense of comfort and waited for you to catch your breath so you can continue.

“I just want him to love me” you cried. “I go out my way to try and get his attention with my school work but it never works. That's why I get along with so many guys. I seek the validation, the comfort and the reassurance that I can get from him from others and I am so tired of it. I just want him to want me draco.” tears slipping out your eyes as you looked up at him, you’ve never confessed this to anyone before.

“Everyone always leaves, please don't leave me” you cried

“I’m not going anywhere” he turned his face towards you, leaning forward cautiously as if you were made of glass.

You leaned forward, wanting the exact same thing. Both very hesitant he gently pressed his soft lips against yours and they moved together in sequence, only taking a break to go back to his dorm and to breathe, limbs tangled together for the rest of the night until the sun rose.

I can see it on your face it was rough left a bad taste on your tongue

And she didn't even take any drug

She would rain all day

Couldn't wait for her son to shine

And you made it shine

There when she cried, you saved her life

It's been a week since that night in the astronomy tower and draco had already been avoiding you. It’s humiliating, but you should have known. You thought the ‘bond’ you had with him would last, it felt so genuine this time. So real.

You’d see him around the halls snogging pansy on your way back to the ravenclaw tower, lowering your head down so he wouldn’t be able to see you so you could get by quickly and unnoticed.

But he saw you.

He stared you right down in your teary eyes as he made out with pansy. You couldn’t help but feel a sense of betrayal, for someone who promised he wouldn’t leave you like everyone else, he did the exact same.

You did the only thing you knew of, you ran.

I keep on trying to let you go

I'm dying to let you know

How I'm getting on

I didn't cry when you left at first

But now that you're dead it hurts

This time I gotta know

Where did my daddy go?

I'm not entirely here

Half of me has disappeared

Draco followed you to the girls lavatory, hearing your shallow cries coming from one of the stalls. He approached the stall you were in trying not to make too much noise so he doesn't startle you.

He felt awful.

He promised he would never leave you, after you both poured your hearts out to each other but he still left. He had too, he was putting you in danger just by being with him. If Voldemort ever found out about you and hurt you he wouldn't be able to live with himself, that's why he took it upon himself to hurt you first.

“y/n are you in here?” he called out even though he knew the answer.

You recognized that familiar voice anywhere. “What do you want draco?” you said, trying to make it seem as if you weren’t just crying.

“I want to talk to you, please”

“No,” you said getting up and pushing yourself out of the stall. “You don't get to just throw me away after I told you everything and just come back into my life like nothing ever happened. Just go away, that's all you guys are good for” you spat.

“Just listen to me, it was to keep you safe. I didn;t want to but i couldn't bear seeing you hurt” he tried to explain.

“Safe?” you laughed. “ and what exactly do i need saving from, malfoy.”

“From me” he said as he pulled up his sleeve revealing his dark mark to you. Your body instantly tensed, you knew he was having problems and his family was involved with the dark lord but you never knew it was like this.

“Draco i-” you tried to say something but the words were stuck in your throat. He stood there looking at you desperately like he was waiting for you to tell him everything was okay, you wanted to be there for him but you didn’t know what to do. You trusted him with everything but he couldn't trust you with this? You thought the bond you had made would have made him trust you in the slightest, but clearly it's always you who’s more trusting.

“Why didn't you tell me?” you managed to say, your voice hoarse.

“I thought you’d leave me, you were the only good thing i had. Please don't leave me” he begged, salty tears escaping his eyes and running down his cheeks as he looked at you with desperation.

“So you thought pushing me away by snogging pansy was better?” you yelled, as he continued to look at you slightly taken aback by your lashing out.

“You know what, go ahead and cry little boy. You know that your daddy did too, you know what your mama went through. You gotta let it out soon, just let it out” you taunted walking closer to him looking straight into his teary eyes.

“This time I'll be the one that leaves.” and with that you were gone.

Go ahead and cry, little girl

Nobody does it like you do

I know how much it matters to you

I know that you got daddy issues

And if you were my little girl

I'd do whatever I could do

I'd run away and hide with you

I love that she's got daddy issues, and I do too

It’s been months since that night in the girls lavatory, and you missed him. You wanted to visit him in the hospital wing once you heard what happened with Harry Potter, but you couldn’t bring yourself to do so. He left you, and you were tired of always going back to people who just hurt you.

Now here you were at the battle of Hogwarts, standing with everyone while Voldemort and his death eaters stood across from you all.

“Draco, draco come here” you heard narcissa call from across the scene. He looked hesitant, as if he was waiting for someone to stop him but no one did. So he started walking over to his parents.

But you grabbed his hand.

“Stay please” you whispered looking up into his eyes.

He looked back at his parents and back at you like he was contemplating his answer.

“I’ll stay”

If you were my little girl

I'd do whatever I could do

I'd run away and hide with you

I love that she's got daddy issues, and I do too

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tagging fun ppl nd ppl who interacted (so srry if u don’t wanna be tagged)

@hellohellook @astoria-malfcy @justfangirlthingies @sfdlm @falling-loki @notvasi @gwlvr @malfoytookmyheart

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