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plush-rabbit · 3 years

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Thorn In Your Mouth

Request: I'm not quite sure if requests are open, but if they are, may I please request some nsfw noncon with Lucifer or Satan from obey me with a fem! MC?

They're demons, and they love quite differently from humans. One could say their love is overly suffocating and affectionate…

Warning: Noncon

Word Count: 2.4K

A/N: i think i made him more jealous in this so,,, hope you like it??

It was sweet at first to have Satan fret over you, to care for you in such a way that made you feel safe, but you soon learned that you craved your space, that you missed whenever you could just go out without having to worry about him getting angry at you. He might have directed his wrath towards you at first, but it was never in this way, never in such a jealousy, overwhelming way that you made you grit your teeth and glare at his back. A part of you knows that this is what you signed up for- he’s a demon, one born out of wrath no less, but you didn’t want that to cloud you. You wanted to see the good in him. But even so, he’s still a demon- a possessive one that fears losing you more than anything.

“Where were you?” He asks, his voice steady and eyes piercing into yours. “I tried calling you but-” he tilts his head and an uncomfortable grin pulls at his lips- “you didn’t answer.”

You’re tired of it all. You’re exhausted and just want to borrow a book that could help you sleep. You’re the one to break eye contact with him fist, turning around and rubbing your hand over your neck. “I don’t know Satan, I was just out with friends.” You grab at a book, the title written in thin letters and eager to be done with the conversation, you accept it. “It’s no biggie.” It shouldn’t be and it isn’t. And yet, anxiety still plagues your body.

The exit is near, the doors closed and the light in the hallway, a dim glow signaling that it is indeed time for bed. You make your way, only to be halted by Satan’s hand wrapping around your wrist. “It is a ‘biggie’-” he quotes, annoyance a sliver on his tongue- “when you don’t tell me where or who you’re going out with.” His grip tightens on you and your hand grows stiff, a twinge of fear pooling against your stomach. “What if you were hurt? What then?” You narrow your eyes at him and feebly try to pull away your arm from him. He doesn’t relent. “Where were you?”

Finding it much easier to just tell the truth and get it over with, you sigh. “I was out with friends, Satan. Some imps and incubi from the seventh period. You know them,” you add, hoping that it’ll jog his memory and remind him that it’s mutual friends that he’s so worried about. “We went to the mall and got some ice cream there.”

“Multiple people you went out with then, huh.” You raise your brows, your eyes glancing back to where your wrist is held in his hand. “And if I am their friend- as you say- then why wasn’t I invited?”

You shrug, giving him a puzzled stare. “I don’t know. You weren’t in class. You had some lunch to go to with those friends of yours. We’ll invite you next time.” You yank at your wrist, only to be met with a tighter hold. “Satan. Let go.”

“Do you love me?” He asks, the tension in the room is lost on him and you look at him with an incredulous look, surprised that he would even ask you that at a time like this. “Because I love you. I’m a good partner. I listen and I kiss you and yet, you go around with a group of demons and do who-knows-what while I sit at home waiting for you to come back.”

The meaning of his words aren’t lost on you. Your arm is stretched, extended out as he still holds a grip on you but you need the distance as slight as it may be. “Are you implying that I cheated on you?” He doesn’t respond and stays with his eyes locked on yours. “Satan, I went out with friends. That’s it! Nothing more and nothing less. What the actual fuck.” You take a deep breath and shake your head, the book now discarded on the table beside you. “You know what? Just let go. We can talk about this tomorrow. I’m not in the mood right now.” Your eyes catch at the underside of the door where the light remains steady, the yellow glow teasing at you where freedom lies. “Satan, you’re hurting me.” You hope that that is enough to make him realize what he’s doing.

You’re pushed over the edge of the table, your stomach painfully pressing against the edge of the wood. Your hands flail for a moment, patting and scratching against the table, your legs tense as you call his name, anger evident in your voice. “What the fuck is your problem?” You hiss out, your palms against the table only to be pulled away and grabbed in his hands. “Satan,” you call his name, worry and fear intertwining together. He remains silent, the heel of his shoe clicking against the floor as he presses himself close to you, his groin pressed against your rear. “Satan, what the fuck are you doing?”

There's a crackle of energy that fills your ear, a popping sound akin to Black Cats, the smell of mahogany and citrus in the air as his hands tighten around you. Skin slips away, a harsh press against the back of your head as you’re pushed into the warming wood, and you’re frozen in fead. The room, while devoid of talk, is filled with noise- the buzzing of the electricity, the cracking of his tail and the deep breaths that he takes, the high sound of his zipper becoming undone and the clicking of his shoes. The noise is driving you insane, blood in your ears as you gasp out his name, trying to turn your head, but only being able to face the wall, and you catch a g,impe of yourself in a mirror, faced down with a demon towering behind you.

“You know that I love you, right?” Something sharp replaces where his hands used to be, thorns piercing into your tender skin as you feel his hands hook on the waistband of your jeans. Your breath stops, and something heavy pools on your tongue. “I do everything right by you and yet-” his nails scratch against your skin- “you treat me like trash. You treat me as if I don’t matter.” Cold air meets your warm skin and you’re left in your underwear and shirt, your sex covered by thin fabric. “Do I not matter to you?” He says your name and it isn’t something sweet, it isn’t something that makes you feel warm. It’s something that sounds too foul to be said out loud. He’s ruined your name in just one simple sentence.

“You matter Satan,” you whisper, clenching your sex. Your eyes are unmoving, watching your distant reflection that has a monster behind you, their hands on your underwear and tearing it from your body. The sound is like nails on a chalkboard to your ears. “Satan, sweetheart, please. Let’s talk, okay? Please.”

“Then why didn’t you pick up my calls?” The tip of his cock is pressed against your thigh, something cool leaking down your leg in a slimy trail. “Why didn’t you tell me you were going out? Were you keeping it a secret from me?” You shake your head, rubbing along the wood and his hand returns to your head, yanking at your hair and pulling on the strands until you rise and are brought on your knees before him. “No? Really? You’re going to lie to me?”

His erection is close to you, close enough to feel the heat, to see how the tip leaks with his pearling semen. “I’m not-”

“If you’re going to lie, then I'd rather just put your mouth to better use.” He grabs your face, dark green scales that run along his body and trail at his thighs. Your nose is pushed against the underside of his cock, his ridges pressing into you and semen already leaking onto your hairline. His scent is strong, suffocating as he pulls you back, your mouth opening when he twists at your hair, a sharp scream that is soon muffled by his cock entering your mouth. “Make sure you get it wet enough. It’s my cock that I’m going to stick in your little holes.”

Wasting no time, you’re pushed to the base of his cock, your nose buried in his pubic hair. He holds you there, letting his cockhead drip down your throat with his heavy semen. Your tongue is pressed flat against the underside of his ridges, the pointed end of his cock ticking at the back of your throat as he starts to move.

It’s a slow choking motion, his cock filling your mouth only to empty it in a way that makes you feel dumb enough to breathe. Every breath is stuck, lodged in the back of your throat and leaving you a choking mess against his cock. He wastes no time, holding the sides of your head and pushing himself inside of you, using your mouth as his own toy.

Each thrust of his cock has your stomach rising, acid billowing in the base of your throat, his scent and cologne mixing together to overstimulate yourself. Your name is whispered, a soft prayer under his tongue as he deflies your mouth, semen spilling and filling your mouth, tears that sting against your eyes and drip past your chin. It’s harsh, and unforgiving and in your head you curse him and plead to whatever God there is, that he’ll let you live and walk away, that this is some horrific nightmare to make you into a follower. You choke and cy, your throat constricting and face becoming hot, shame and horror flooding throughout your body and you’re left sobbing against his cock.

His hands are rough, nothing like you know them to be, his words soft as ever and yet, you’re still pushed down to the table with your jaw slack and drool dripping down your chin and tears mixing with the heavy liquid. Your mouth is stained with his semen, white bubbling out past your lips as you meet your reflection once more. Your legs are spread and you can only think of saying his name, to have your hands paw pitifully at the table as you call him through a broken mantra.

You’re glad that you listened to him, that you did get his cock wet enough to slip in you without fuss. It’s a slight pinch, sharp and twisting inside of you as your thrusted into, your chest pressed against the wooden table. Everything is on high alert, all your senses overloaded as your sex is filled, ridges tickling inside your walls. Each thrust clicks, a wet snap as he pushes himself inside of you, his tail wrapping around your throat and yanking you upwards, a string of drool snaps against your chin as it’s ripped from the desk. The tip of his tail is thick, filling your mouth as it rests on your tongue, the edges poking against the inside of your cheeks. You’re lifted, your legs bent and resting on the table as he pushes inside of you, your cunt fluttering against him as his base thickens, warm seed coating your walls.

He pulls out of you, and you whisper a soft thank you, your head turning, the red wood clouding your vision. You ignore the feeling of his hand that crawls over your rear, that tickles against your curve and pushes against your taint.

“No, no,” you moan, your body weak and in pain to stop him from continuing. Not like this Satan, please.” But he’s too overwhelmed to listen to you, pressing the slender tip of his cock against the rim of your hole and pushing inside of you.

You squeal and it’s enough for him to push himself inside of you, each curve and ridge filling and marking the inside of you. Your body spasms, your cunt warm and dripping with his semen. His tail pushes deeper inside of you, choking you and letting you taste your spit and his seed that still lingers.

“Don’t ever leave me,” he whispers hotly against the shell of your ear. “Please,” he begs, holding your body as he enters you. His teeth sink into your shoulder, the pain twisting together leaving you tense and biting on his tail, your tongue pressed firmly against a ridge.

“It hurts,” you mewl, your hands cupping over your breasts to stop the shameful movement. “‘M sorry,” you mumble, your tongue swishing over his tail. With you being stretched, you can feel him in certain areas that makes your body tense and flex. Despite the uncaring nature, you still react to him, shaking and tightening yourself around him, calling his name as you drool over his tail and onto your shirt.

“I love you,” Satan mutters, “I love you,” he repeats, holding you close to him, feeling his heart pump against your back, feeling it rattle against you. “I love you,” he whispers against your ear, his breath hot and words sweet enough to make tears spring to your eyes. He thrusts inside of you, his arms hooking under your knees and horns grazing and picking up strands of your hair as he presses harsh kisses against his bite mark.

You can feel his seed, hot and heavy, flooding inside of your walls and drenching past your heated core, staining the floor beneath you and splattering onto the table legs. With a quick glance, your eyes are strained and your thin arousal mixes in with his semen, coating at his cock and leaving your cunt in syrupy strands. Your legs are lowered, too strained and weak, your latch onto the desk, your bottom lip trembling as you try to remain steady.

Cotton fills your mind, a drug that is welcomed as the ache in your lower regions start to sharpen and dull. Colors mix and the slightest movement has you closing your mouth tightly, your hands already grasping around his neck and clinging to him for dear life. “Don’t drop me,” you plead in a delicate voice, turning to press your nose against his chest.

His hum is deep in his chest, rumbling softly like a distant storm that lulls you to sleep. His hands are soft, rubbing over the parts where he hits, and shushing you when you let out a high-pitched whine. His lips press against your forehead and his hands are soft. “I wouldn’t dream of it,” he whispers, humming as he nuzzles his face close to yours. “Are you tired?” You nod. “Then let’s go to sleep, okay?”

#obey me #obey me swd #om swd #obey me shall we date #obey me satan #obey me satan x reader #obey me satan x mc #tw: noncon #this was requested of me i think when passion came out #so im so sorry for the wait

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unrequitedloveletter · 3 years

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Are you Really Okay?- Kaz Brekker

I am in no way trying to romanticize depression or suicidal ideations. I’ve dealt with them my entire life and it’s been no easy feat, and I know several others who’ve dealt with them the same. I am merely basing this off my own experiences and how I’ve dealt with it when things have gotten tough in the past, this is in no way meant to put down others who’ve had different experiences to me.

Trigger warning- talk of depression, suicidal thoughts and suicidal ideations. If you are sensitive to those topics, for your safety, I advise that this be a work of mine that you stay away from.

Fic type- angst t

Warnings- mentions of Kaz’s trauma

Kaz couldn’t understand what’d happened. A few weeks before, you’d seemed fine. You were smiling, laughing with Inej and joking with Jesper. You’d gone to every meal, ate every last bit of your food. In between bites, you indulged Jespers talk of his guns, talked to Wylan about his flute, spoke with Kaz about a plan for a heist. You were okay.

But that’d been the weeks before. That hadn’t been the two months it took to plan the heist, or the heist itself.

The first thing that ticked him off that day was your failure to meet everyone for breakfast. You never missed out on a good meal, especially not when good conversation came with it, and Kaz had sent Rotty up to your room to see what’d happened.

Rotty came up empty, with just a note in his hand. In the note, you’d apologized, but promised to be on time to the first rendezvous point. Kaz wouldn’t reprimand you for it. He knew you’d come and go as you pleased, whether or not you had his permission to do so, so there really was no point in reprimanding and starting a fight.

The heist went well, as they normally did, but you didn’t go out for the victory dinner, either. He’d gone, but as the six of them walked, slowly, back to The Slat, Kaz made sure to ask Inej what the hell had been up with you, see if she knew anything.

Inej, to his delight, hadn’t come up empty. “They have depression,” she’d said. “I can’t explain it, though. I just have a baseline understanding.”

“Tell me,” Kaz demanded. “I want to know what’s wrong. They’ve been off for weeks now.”

“Careful, Brekker,” Nina taunted. “Keep going the way that you are, it might start to sound like you actually care!”

“He doesn’t,” Jesper quipped, and for once, Kaz found himself grateful for Jesper and his constant need to be involved in conversations. “They’re not more than an investment to him. Isn’t that right, Kaz?” He said nothing, just glanced at Inej expectantly.

“They’re sad,” Nina input before Inej got the chance. “Isn’t that what it is?”

“It’s technically defined as a severe feeling of despondency and dejection, actually,” that was Wylan. “It’s coupled with a constant feeling of sadness, emptiness and not wanting to do what might’ve once peaked their interest.”

“It goes along with suicidal thoughts, too,” Inej spoke. “And ideations. They go hand in hand. You can’t treat one without also treating the other.” Kaz felt tempted to run the rest of the way back to The Slat, all the way up to your room and demand why you’d not told him, but he resisted.

“They should’ve gotten their meds refilled a while ago, though,” Inej matched the pace when Kaz began to move just a bit quicker. “I don’t know why they haven’t, to be completely candid.”

The rest of the way back, Nina and Matthias conversed with Inej and Jesper and Wylan laughed so loud they almost woke the city up, but Kaz kept quiet, his brain overtaken with questions.

Why haven’t they told me? He thought. Why didn’t I know? I care about them, don’t I? And isn’t that a bit of a crucial detail?

It slowly began to make sense to him. The red rimmed eyes some mornings, coupled with puffy cheeks, it should’ve been clear to him that you’d cried at some point through the night while he slept. The bags under your eyes slowly becoming more pronounced as you began to stay awake later; your reluctance to tell him anything, despite how close you were. All the meals you’d missed.

Your smile.

You’d stopped smiling so much.

Kaz missed it. The sound of your laugh circulating through the room, your smile that managed to brighten his entire day.

He felt like an idiot for not seeing the signs when they were right there, seemingly right in front of his face. He could’ve helped you, could’ve made sure you stayed on track with the medication, he could’ve done so much, and yet, as he walked, he felt as though he’d done so little. It infuriated him.

When the six of them had arrived back at The Slat, he turned to Inej. “I’m going to go up to their room,” he whispered. “See how they’re doing.” Inej tossed him a smile.

“You do care, don’t you?” She asked, already knowing the answer.

“Only a little,” Kaz murmured, almost hating that he admitted it to someone other than himself. “I just want to make sure that they’re okay.”

“And if they aren’t?” Matthias’ voice almost sounded like a scold. “What will you do then, demjin? Comfort them from a doorway?”

“Matthias!” Nina scolded. “Let Kaz do his thing, okay? You don’t know Y/N like he does. He’ll comfort them in whatever way he sees fit.” Kaz shot a grateful nod at Nina as he made his way over to the stairs and up to your room.

After a quick break in front of your door to catch his breath, he knocked three times.

“Come in,” you called, but your voice had waivered. “Just a moment, though, okay? I have to clean some things up!” Kaz went in anyway, opening the door just enough to slide in and closing it using his back.

“Brekker,” you whispered, pulling at the sleeves of your shirt. Kaz noticed scarring, but he decided not to say anything. “Hello.”

“Are you okay?” He asked, not at all caring that he was being so blunt. “Are you really okay, Y/N?”

“I’m afraid I don’t know what you mean,” you murmured as you went around the room, plucking laundry off the floor and putting trash into the small trash bin you kept beside your bed. “Why are you asking if I’m okay when I’ve done nothing to say otherwise?”

“You’ve missed meals. You’re slower than normal. You smile less,” part of him wants to reach out, take your hand in his and rub your knuckles with his thumb and be a man who can touch another human being without issue, but he knows it’s unrealistic.

“Well, forgive me for thinking that The Bastard of The Barrel wouldn’t pick up on how many times I smiled throughout the run of a day,” you quipped. “The heist was done just fine. We all got our shares of the money, and we all returned unscathed. I fail to see why you’ve put so much effort into caring.”

“Because it’s you,” he whispered.

“I’m just another investment, Brekker. You’re welcome to stop caring now. I’m going to sleep, and I’d as soon do it without the knowledge that your back is pressed against my door.”

“You’re more than an investment,” he whispered. “I care about you. I want to know when somethings wrong. Depression isn’t the kind of thing you keep from me, Y/N.”

“I’ve kept it from you just fine, Kaz,” you shot back, wiping at your eyes. “I’ve been able to live with it since I was a kid without issue, without you noticing, so why notice now? Is it because I’ve been slower? Because I’ve slept in and missed breakfast? Because I’ve not felt the motivation to get and up and do what we do everyday?”

“It’s because I care, Y/N,” he took a step toward you as you set to making the small bed that you slept on.

“How many times have you considered climbing to the roof and jumping off it?” You winced at the question, and Kaz felt his heart clench for a single moment in time.

“Are you asking me if I’m suicidal, Brekker?”

“Yes.”

“Sometimes, I think about it. I think about going down to Fifth Harbor, jumping into the lake and swimming until the bottom is so far down that I wouldn’t be able to reach it without drowning,” Kaz moved to sit on the bed next to you, keeping a little distance.

“When I take my meds, I’m not even happy,”

“So what are you?”

“Numb. I don’t feel anything. All of the pain goes away, but so does the happiness. The joy. The smiles.” Kaz winced. He’d gone through enough days without getting a smile from you or hearing your laugh that he was almost completely sure another of them might’ve been his breaking point.

“And without your medication?”

“Highs and lows. Mostly lows, unfortunately. Depressive episodes, no motivation. Without my meds, my emotions are a tsunami and my conscious mind is the city that it runs through.”

“How can I help?”

“This is helping,” you admit. “It’s just--I’ve talked with Wylan and Jesper about it before, but neither of them ever have anything to say about any of it. They’re understanding, but sometimes, it just...”

“Wylan says things that’d come off a motivation quote poster and Jesper cracks a joke?” Kaz questions.

You laughed then, and Kaz, completely and utterly unsure of himself, wrapped an arm around your shoulders.

For a couple of long lasting seconds, he was there again. In the barge, with Jordies slippery, slimy body beneath him as he kicked his way back to shore, but then he glanced at you. Saw the fear in your eyes as you registered what he’d done, trying to study him and figure out if you’d crossed a boundary, but all Kaz did was nod.

“I’m okay, L/N,” he whispered. “I’m fine.”

You two stayed like that for a long, long time, until both of your eyes fluttered closed and sleep dragged you under.

#kaz brekker #kaz brekker x reader #six of crows #shadow and bone #inej ghafa #jesper fahey #matthias helvar #nina zenik #wylan van eck

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itsthestutterforme · 3 years

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I Reject You (Ransom Drysdale)

Summary: Ransom has a friends with benefits relationship with Y/N recently learned that she is pregnant with Ransom's pup but rejects him as the father because of how he treated her when they were together.

Notes: GIF is not mine, slight smut, fluff, A/B/O dynamics, mentions of human trafficking, mentions of depression, implied sexual assault (if any of these trigger you, please do not read. Take care of yourselves.)

Here you are exactly where you promised yourself you weren't going. As soon as you saw Ransom sitting in your office chair, you knew where this was headed. He picked you up from your job and drove straight to his house.

Your body shakes when he lazily thrusts into your soaked cunt as you both are laying down on your side. Leaning your head against his collarbone, your mouth falls open when he rubs your clit when his thumb.

You follow his hips when he pulls out of you, leaving just the tip in before drilling into you hard and fast. "You are such a slut for my dick aren't you? No matter how many times you say you never want to see me again. You. Are. Mine. Omega." He whispers into you ear and you were starting to see stars.

A sharp gasp leaves your lips as you cum for the fifth time today. His knot pops open and his seed decorated your walls. He pulls out of you and you lay on your back, mustering up the strength to get up but he grabs your chin roughly so you could look at him.

"No one can make you cum like I can. No one." You pull away from his grip and swing your legs over the edge of the bed. You curse at your body for trembling. You needed to get out of there and quick before he notices something is off.

You noticed a different abouf a week ago and went to the doctor. Only to find out that you were pregnant by no other than Ransom Drysdale. The trust fund playboy. There's no way you were going to tell him the baby was his. You needed to end whatever this is and you needed to end it now.

"You smell different," he says, trailing his nose along the curve of your neck. "Is your heat starting?" He asks and you choose not to say anything. What is there to say to a man that calls you a cumslut one second and is worried about your well being, the next?

You stand on wobbly legs and slide on your underwear while in search for the rest of your clothing. "When I talk to you, I expect you to speak." He says, standing from the bed and you jump into your dress pants. When you reach for you blouse, he rips from the your hand and tosses it across the room.

Attempting to get the blouse, a growl emits deep in his chest and you still your movements. You don't meet his eyes but you could feel the anger blossoming in his gaze. He grabs your throat sharply and lowered his head until his blue eyes met yours.

"Speak, Omega." Chills rolls down your spine at his command. "There's nothing to talk to you about." "You could have just said that. You didn't have to ignore me." "I didn't peg you as the sensitive type, Drysdale." You snark, and he allows you to pull his hand away from your throat.

"You're not going to shower before you go like you normally do? What, am I that bad of a person?" "There's nothing normal about this, Ransom. And to answer your question, yes, you are." You walk across the room and button up your blouse.

"What's up with you? You've been acting bitchy all day." "Wow, you talk like you're a ray of sunshine." "You know what, you want me to speak. Fine, I'll speak. Don't talk like you give a shit about me because you and I both know you don't. The only thing you care about is getting your rocks off like a horny little bitch."

Oh your hormones are going to get you in trouble. The omega in you was trembling with fear of what Ransom was going to do to you. He snarls and before you could even think about running, he turns you around and shoves into the nearest wall. His eyes glowing a dreadful crimson as he growled in your face.

"You got a death wish, omega? Who the fuck do you think you're talking to." He snarls and you instinctively expose you neck to him. Your arm maternally drapes over your stomach protectively and he noticed. His eyes lost their glow and he stares down at your stomach with wide eyes.

He takes a few steps back and you could hear his anxious heart pattering in his chest. "Is it mine?" "No," you answer a little too quickly and he raises his eyebrow questionigly. "You're lying," he says, taking a step toward you with his eyes glazing over your mating gland.

"Absolutely not," you snap and he takes another step towards you. "Stop, Ransom. Please don't," you whimper as he blew warm air over your sensitive gland. Something else stirred inside of you that wasn't your omega part of you. It was something more dominant and heavy.

Your hand comes up and in between your neck and his face. Your gripped his face and shoved him as hard as you could with surprising strength. You sent him flying across the room. He initially landed on the bed and bounced off to land in the corner.

A deep, protective roar erupted from your chest and something happened that you dreaded for most of your life. Your eyes were glowing. Your eyes didn't shine a normal golden color. They glowed like a broken mixture between crimson and ogate from an unspeakable past trauma.

"What the hell are you?" He asks as your eyes restore to normal. "Baby," he adds, his features softened. "Stay away from me. And stay away from my pup." You threaten, before sliding on your shoes and walking out the door. You wave down a taxi who drives you back to your house.

"Hey, I stopped by your job and saw you- Y/N, are you okay?" Your mom asks as her eyes settle on your trembling frame. "He found out." You croak, she motions you to sit on the couch and you comply. "He found out about the baby?" She asks. "He found out," you repeat, watching as she realizes what you really meant.

"He saw your eyes?" She asks with disbelief. "He tried to forcefully claim me and I bellowed at him to protect my pup." "What are you going to do? Do you want to leave?" She asks, running a comforting hand down your arm. "I have no idea, Mom. I don't get it. I thought I wasn't able to get pregnant."

"This is a blessing, honey." She says and you shake your head. "It would have been a blessing if the father was a decent human being, but he's not, Mom. He treats me.." you trail off and your mother purrs sadly, resting your face on the sides of hers. "He's a terrible person, Mom. But I need him and I fucking hate it."

"I know, honey. We don't need to figure everything out right now. Take a deep breath." You take a deep breath and a series of sobs escape your lips. You're screwed and everyone knows it.

Ransom bounces his leg nervously in his Beemer as he parks outside of Y/N's house. He could smell her, she's in deress and she's feeling an immense amount of sadness. He doesn't even know what he's doing there. It's not like his presence would help anything. She hated him and he doesn't blame her.

He would always call you names and insult your intelligence to keep you rilde up so he wouldn't know how it was to be loved by you. He started to fall for you when you would talk back against his misogynistic tendencies. He loved how your nose crinkled just before you were about to snap on him.

You have guts and you stood your ground, regardless if you were an omega or not. He respected that about you. But now he wanted to show you that he was willing to change for you and that he treated you like shit because he was scared of what your love could to him.

But he knew you. You would tell him to fuck off and leave because that is what he was good at. He had a plan to get you to trust him, but if that doesn't work. He has no idea what to do with himself. With a deep breath, he hops out of his Beemer and stalks towards the front door.

He knocks firmly and he heard footsteps ascending to the door. His heart races in his chest but he swallows it down. The door opens and he meets the gaze of a very angry mother. "How dare you come here?" "I need to see her," "I think you've done enough."

"She's carrying my pup, I can't just leave her." Ransom's explains, desperate to be given the benefit of the doubt. "I've heard terrible stories about you. You trust fund, prick. My daughter made a mistake and I'm sure she'll learn from it without your help." She snaps.

"Did she say that?" "She did," "You're a terrible liar. Just like your daughter." He sighs when she growls defensively at him. "What happened to her? To her eyes?" He asks. "Please, I want to be in her life. She makes my heart tingle and that scares the hell out of me, so I tried to push her away by.."

"By treating her like trash. You have no idea how to deal with women, do you?" She asks and he shakes his with defeat.

"Come in," she says with a sigh. Ransom walks into the house much smaller than he's used to. That's what a family house looks like. The entire living room is the size of his walk in closet. But he understands why Y/N would call it home. "Stay here, I'll be right back." Y/N's mom says before disappearing down the hall.

He sits down on the side of the couch where your scent is the strongest. His eyes fall to the shut door closest to the kitchen. Your scent dripped from the room and it took everything in him not to burst in there and pull you into his arms.

Y/N's mom returns with a thin stack of newspapers. The looked to be a few years old by the font and the faded lettering in some places. The newspaper crinkles in his hands as he read the headline on the first page.

HUMAN TRAFFICKING VICTIM FOUND AFTER 7 YEARS. Below the headline was a picture of a young girl with bruises litering her face as she pulled the blanket close to her.

The most heart wrenching part about the picture was how hollow her eyes looked. It was like looking into a dark tunnel with no light at the end of it. Whatever she experienced ruined whatever childhood she had left. Ransom's eyes scan over the article and flipped through the rest of the pages, growing angrier the more he read.

"How long ago was this?" Ransom asks. "Five years ago. She was twelve when she was taken." Ransom shakes his head with disbelief and sets the newspaper on the table in front of him. "Can I see her, please?" He asks desperately.

"She hasn't moved since she came back from your house a week ago. She barely talks and eats. Hopefully you have better luck than I do." She says, motioning for the door.

Ransom stands up and opens the door within a few strides. Goosebumps littered his skin when he inhales Y/N's miserable musk. Tears threatened his eyes but he wiped them away quickly. She already been through hell and Ransom made it worse by treating her the way he was. She deserved better than him.

"Y/N?" Ransom starts but Y/N doesn't move a muscle. Her bed covers were draped over her entire body, leaving a small opening above her head so she could breathe. Her breathing was barely audible, she could easily be mistaken as dead. The room was dim from the closed curtain and lack of light.

Not knowing what to say, he decides he was going to stay there with her. Maybe.. hopefully.. his prescence is enough to comfort her because he has no idea how to do that as he was never comforted as a child. He was just told to suck it up and stop being a baby. He's a Drysdale. And Drysdale's aren't weak.

He shrugs off his peacoat and pulled off his cable knit sweater. He stepped a little closer to admire her nest but notice the lack of his scent. He drapes his cable knit over the headboard of her bed. Not wanting to push his luck, he walked away from the bed and slid down the wall a distance away from you.

He smiles when he hears you purr softly in your sleep as you notice his scent. "Baby, I'm going to stay here with you, if that's okay." Ransom says and you continued to purr. Guess that wasn't a terrible sign.

Later that night, Ransom left your house to grab a week's worth of clothes plus an assortment of clothes you could add to her you. You still haven't said anything but your vile scent of shame and sadness has lessened.

When Ransom came back, Y/N's mom offered him the guest room but Ransom claimed it was too far from her. So she pumped up an air mattress for him. He's spent every day in the room with Y/N without saying a word. One day, Ransom came back with sushi for lunch to see you out of bed.

You froze when you saw him down the hallway after closing the door to the bathroom. "You came back earlier than I expected," you say and a sigh of relief leaves his lips. You both stay in your spots and stare at each other, waiting for someone to make the first move.

"I'm not good at comforting people. But I am good at telling people what I know. And I know that I feel like absolutely shit for how I treated you. And I know what happened to you when you were younger. Why your eyes are the way they are." He starts. "The fact that you can stand up for other people despite your past makes you strong. A strong mate and a strong mother." He adds.

He sets the sushi on the counter and you shove your hands into the pockets of your sweatpants. "We're not meant to be parents, Ransom. This could be the worst thing that could happen to us." She explains. "Or the best thing. I don't know about you, but I've been looking for a change. And then I met you and that was the change I was looking for." He explains.

You eye him suspiciously, unsure of where this verbal affection came from. "Why are you saying these things? Did my mom put you up to this? I told her I would be fine." You say, walking down the hall and into your room. "She didn't put me up to this. And no, you're not fine." He says, leaning against your door frame.

"Baby, we're in this together." "I don't trust it. I don't trust you. I've seen what you're capable of and the way you treat people. And I will be damned if I let you treat my pup like that."

"Your pup?" "My pup," you repeat, placing a hand on your stomach. His gaze falls on your stomach and he nods to himself like he's making a decision in his mind.

"Mark me," he says, taking off his pea coat, cable knit sweater and tank top underneath that. He sets on the air mattress and nears you slowly. "What? No." "I'll honor the bond. I'll be yours and only yours. I won't mark you unless you want me to. Just please, mark me."

"This is insane," you start and takes your hand to place on his cheek. He inhales the scent of your pulse point on your wrist before placing your hand on his mating gland. You shake your head no and he sits down, pulling you into his lap and burying your face into his neck.

Your inner omega takes over and you wrap your arms around his neck. "Alpha," you whimper. "Oh, omega. I'm so sorry, baby." He whispers. He stares up at the ceiling as he tries to hold back his tears but it was no use. He always thought that he was fucked up because Linda never showed him any affection as a kid.

But to hear about what you experienced as a kid. The fact that you had nothing and you had your will and autonomy stripped from you. Ransom's autonomy was the only thing he felt like he truly had. He rubbed circles on your neck and you sigh into his. He learned that from a Google search he did but you didn't know that.

You pull away from his neck and cupped his cheeks, pressing a warm kiss on his soft lips. You were desperate for each other's touch, but it wasn't in a sexual way.

It was more like a tending to an internal scratch. Your eyes fluttered closed and he lifted your chin to deepen the kiss. Your tear stained cheeks rubbed against his and his tongue swiped against your lip, begging for access.

You glady give him the access he needed and his happy hummed vibrated your chest. He pulled away slowly and held you gaze before exposing his neck to you. You couldn't believe your eyes. The Ransom Drysdale was exposing his neck to you. Submitting to you. Maybe he wasn't bluffing after all.

You ghost your fingers over his mating gland and he sighs at the touch. You look to him and he nods, encouraging you to continue. Your tongue darted out to moisturize your dry lips and press a kiss to the sensitive skin. You purr as you inhale his musk of honey and crackers, his favorite childhood snack.

."Y/N, please." Giving him one last look before sinking your teeth into his neck, his mouth falls open and you bite down harder until you could taste the metallic drops of his blood.

You lick away the droplets of blood escaping the wound before pulling away. You lick away the blood from your lips and expose your neck to him but he gripped your chin and shook his head.

"You have to want it." He says sincerely. You barely recognize the Ransom in front of you. His ogate eyes dilate as they met your Y/E/C eyes. And in that moment you realize that Ransom was just as broken as you were. He truly was yours.

#ransom drysdale x reader #ransom drysdale #knives out #slight smut #fluff #chrisevans

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hardskz · 4 years

Text

a penny for your thoughts.

pairing — han jisung x female! reader

genre — trope inversion of the soulmate au, college au, enemies to lovers, angst and fluff-ish, smut; oral, possessiveness kink, praise kink, safe word, size kink, first time

synopsis — life isn’t easy when you belong to the 1% of the world population that has a soulmate, know who your soulmate is and happen to be utterly in love with said soulmate’s best friend. alternatively, jisung can hear all of your unfiltered thoughts and has heard enough of your horny fantasies to the point where he wants to throw up, so he takes matters in his own hands.

note — i think i’m gonna cry this work is my 11k word BABY i’ve never been THIS invested over a fic. this is purely self-indulgent and an emotional rollercoaster ride if you ask me. this fic is all over the place it’s chaotic and i apologize in advance for many italics you are welcome i hope you CRY and SUFFER with me because completing this bitch was a midlife crisis in itself. that being said, i appreciate any form of constructive criticism so pls go ahead and rip my baby apart sdkjl

“You’re staring again,” Hyunjin notes. Seungmin and Jeongin stifle a burst of laughter while Felix, whose head is resting on Hyunjin’s lap, sends you a look that resembles Candace from Phineas and Ferb whenever she finds her brothers creating some whacky futuristic shit, laughs like a madman and then resumes to call her mother with an ear-splitting MOOOM! because she’s so certain that her brothers are busted this time.

“Am not,” you huff as you tear your eyes away from the guy just sitting a little bit farther away from you, basking in the warm glow of the sun. Today he’s sitting in the perfect angle, giving you the best view on his side profile. His signature cap is perched right on top of his head but even then, you can see how his eyes brighten up and how the corners of his lips tug upwards as he laughs at his friend’s joke.

“You’re a worse case than the Mary Sue protagonist of every romance anime ever.” Seungmin snorts before he playfully nudges your side with his shoe. “Just say you want Seo Changbin to bang you and go.”

“Hey! We have a child present!” Hyunjin chastises, to which Jeongin rolls his eyes.

“I’m not a child. We’re all in fucking college.”

“Fine, not a child then. The baby has been corrupted! Don’t swear, it sounds so wrong coming from you!”

“Shut up. It’s called freedom of speech!”

“It’s ‘shut up Hyung’ to you!”

Felix groans in distress and is probably rethinking his life choices. Seriously, what does Felix, resident hopeless romantic, see in Hyunjin? Sure, he’s good-looking and a great friend when he’s not bitching around or hovering over the nearest trash can after taking too many shots. But a romantic? Please, Hyunjin can’t even eat without making a mess out of his shirt.

“I don’t want him to bang me,” you mutter and receive a collective ‘yeah sure’ look. “Fine, I don’t want him to bang me only. He’s nice,” you retort before your eyes flit back to him for a millisecond. By now, Changbin has put his hands on the grass and is leaning back, enjoying the sunlight while listening halfheartedly to the other guy blabbering.

“And hot. We get it. Now get dicked,” Seungmin deadpans, earning flabbergasted looks from everyone and a smack from Hyunjin.

“Show a little more empathy, you dickwad. She’s whipped.”

“Anyway—“ Felix sits up, earning a pout from Hyunjin but he blatantly ignores it, and directs the conversation back to the previous topic before the other two bump heads, “(y/n), you have his number. You’re not strangers, so why don’t you just make a move?”

You glance at him with horror in your eyes. “What do you expect me to do? Ring him up and ask him to hang out with me because I find him cute?”

“Uh, duh? Last time I checked, that’s how you ask someone out.”

“Absolutely not.”

“New idea.” Seungmin butts in. “Why don’t you ask Han Jisung—“

“No.”

“Agreed.” Hyunjin shoots you a nod of approval before Seungmin can start yet another interrogation about your bitter hatred towards Jisung. Jisung, who happens to be said friend of Changbin that is laughing beside him right now. “He must think he’s so much better than us because he’s hanging out with the senior geniuses of the music production major. Then again, Seo Changbin and Bang Chan are on a different level than us commoners.”

“Speaking of Chan,” you quickly say to steer the conversation away from the personification of everything you hate. “Where is he? It’s so weird seeing the trio incomplete.”

This time, Jeongin chimes in. “Haven’t you heard?”

“Heard what?”

“Chan and that one language major — you know, the one who collapsed a while back?” When all he’s met with are clueless faces, Jeongin sighs. “Seriously, you guys should keep up with campus news. I swear, everyone and their mothers already know by now. But anyway, they’re soulmates. It’s also the reason why Chan has been pulled out of the boxing team until the end of the semester and had to cancel their training camp as soon as she broke down.”

Felix does a double-take. “But Chan’s the ace of the boxing club!”

“It is what it is.” Jeongin stretches his legs out, shrugging. “What else is to expect when you have the proximity link and need to be around your soulmate within a certain distance unless you want death?”

“Poor guy. Must be a smack in the face for him, now that he’s got a soulmate and happens to have the worst link one could have.” Seungmin says.

“The tattoos are worse though.” Hyunjin fires back. “I mean, you’re literally born with a tattoo of your soulmate’s name and then grow up knowing that you have one? And even if you never meet them, you won’t have better chances with others if you want some romance. Who in their right mind wants to have a lover who’s got someone else’s name tattooed on them since birth?”

“No one.” You chuckle. “Absolutely no one.”

In another lifetime, another universe, you and Jisung would probably be on better terms. He’s sunshine on legs and looks decent from an objective point of view.

In another lifetime, another universe, you’d like to believe you’re childhood friends and have been neighbors ever since your first shit in your diapers. Perhaps you would be clowned from being inseparable once in a while, but you’d go with it and then shrug it off as if it was nothing.

In another lifetime, another universe, you’d like to believe that being soulmates doesn’t equal the downfall of two people. Sure, the fact that people are bound to each other and the danger of growing too dependent on that person remains, but it probably won’t be so frowned upon. Probably. Hopefully.

However, as much as you want to twist it, another lifetime is not this lifetime, the reality.

In reality, you and Jisung are only neighbors because the universe has some kind of inexplicable hatred towards you. Seriously, you must’ve done something wrong in your previous life to be punished in this one. And because the universe has sadistic tendencies and loves to make you suffer, the laws of the universe are just as equally fucked up.

The concept of soulmates is a lot of things, but most of all, it’s a mystery. There are endless possibilities for soulmate links, not all of them discovered. And unlike popular belief, soulmates do not have to necessarily share the same link. So voilà, even more fuckery from the universe.

There’s only one reason that justifies your wholehearted, unfiltered hatred towards Han Jisung. Well, only one reason that seems justified in this lifetime.

The tattoo is simple; just fine black characters under your collarbone that are nicely hidden under high-cut shirts.

But the fact that it’s his name tattooed on you since birth remains.

“Let me crash here for the night.”

“No.”

“Let me crash here for the night, please.”

“My answer is still no.”

The exasperation is plastered on Jisung’s face as he tries to keep his temper in check. Truth be told, it’s damn satisfying seeing him wanting to rip your head off but refraining to do so. Perhaps you’re enjoying this more than you expected at one o’clock in the morning. For the past five minutes, Jisung has been asking you to let him stay over for the night. You’d save him out of his misery and help a neighbor out who locked himself out of his apartment at this hour — well, if he wasn’t Han Jisung.

By now, he’s growing more impatient with every further rejection. “Oh come on, all my friends live on the other side of town and you can’t expect me to ask the old grandma next door! At this rate, I’m gonna freeze to death overnight!”

“Then go break a window or something,” you deadpan, ignoring the dramatic hand gestures he’s making to accentuate his words.

“The fuck? I’m not going to break into my own place.”

Not wanting to draw out the pointless conversation any longer, you’re about to slam the door shut when he blocks your action with his foot. “C’mon, just this one night. Please.”

He’s not budging anytime soon. His bullheadedness reminds you of Seungmin, who always tries to get Hyunjin wasted whenever you attend those Greek frat parties. Seungmin, who always succeeds in getting Hyunjin wasted, followed by Hyunjin hugging a bucket for the next few hours as he tries to get over the hangover. With a defeated sigh, you gesture Jisung to come inside and don’t wait for him until he’s taken his shoes off at the entryway.

“Look, I know you don’t like me—“

“Well, ‘don’t like’ is putting it very lightly—” you scoff once he’s caught up to you in the living room. It’s not exactly spacious; the couch takes up most of the room and college assignments are spread all over the minuscule coffee table.

“You could at least treat me like a decent human being.”

That statement is enough to get your ears flaming. You whip your head in his direction, voice getting louder. “How can I when your existence is making my life worse than it already is! And I mean it literally! Just seeing your name whenever I look at myself through the mirror sickens me!”

“Stop acting like you’re the only victim here.” Jisung snaps back in the same manner. If there was a little bit of etiquette in the first place, it has all vanished now. “I’m not having it easier when all I hear from you is the dozen ways you want Changbin to fuck you dumb!”

You freeze.

“Cat got your tongue? It’s already bad enough that you have those kinds of thoughts about my best friend every single day.”

“But I thought— y-you had the proximity link?!” This has to be a joke. A very bad one at that. His proximity link is the very sole reason why you lived next to him. His soulmate link is the only reason why you’ve been stuck together like glue since you could walk.

Jisung taps his foot impatiently, running his hand through his hair. “That’s what I thought too until I started hearing things that nobody said around me. First, it was just a few thoughts every other day, but now you’re like an annoying radio that I can’t switch off.”

“Why didn’t you tell me then? I would’ve—“

“Stopped fantasizing about Changbin’s dick? And then you would’ve jumped to the next person. I don’t care if you like him or not, it’s none of my business. Changbin’s hot, anyone with eyes can tell. Besides, it’s not like you have a chance anyway…”

You feel your blood boiling at his underlying message and cross your arms. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

Jisung doesn’t bat an eyelash and says in a mocking tone as if stating the obvious. “No doubt that Changbin will make you feel good. But could you return the favor?”

That’s a low blow. Even for Jisung, that’s a low blow.

“I get that you’ve got a dirty mind. But those are just fantasies. Could you really execute them just the way you had in your head? You don’t even have experience in the first place.”

“If I sucked you off right now, you wouldn’t even be able to speak properly!” God knows what went over you when you countered. At this point, rage has taken over your brain and you don’t even realize what you just said right away. Not that it matters anyway; all you see is red.

Jisung just raises a brow, clearly unimpressed by your outburst. “Prove it,” he challenges casually and then flops himself onto the couch, legs spread wide. It’s an open invitation. “Go ahead, make me see reason with your oh so mind-blowing skills.”

The only thing you’re able to do physically is gape at him. He is joking, right? As if he actually means it—

“I knew it. Shameless in your head but too flustered to say it out loud, let alone following up with your bold statements.”

That seals the deal. You’re fuelled by anger and the desire to prove him wrong as you drop on your knees and are on eye level with his crotch. However, your spirit dissolves the longer you silently stare and realize that you have no fucking clue on what to do. Jisung is painfully aware of that too.

“I’m more terrified than turned on seeing your angry face.” He lets out an exasperated sigh before he pulls you up and directs you to sit on his lap. “Obviously it’s not working when neither of us is in the mood. You gotta get in the mood first,” he mutters, hands settling on your hips.

The look in his eyes is more composed now, but you can tell he’s being observant. As if you have clues written all over your face, he keeps you under his stern gaze. Then his eyes droop lower to your lips and he slowly leans forward.

Not even a second later, you firmly plant your hands on his shoulder and push him back. “No lips.”

If Jisung is judgemental about your sudden stunt, he doesn’t comment on it. “Anything else, your royal majesty?”

You’re too tired to react to his mockery and roll your eyes. “No marks.”

“I can work with that,” he mumbles more to himself rather to you. Then he leans forward again and buries his face in the crook of your neck. Surprised by his actions and new to the unfamiliar sensation, you tense up. Jisung seems to take notice of that too.

“Relax,” he orders, rubbing circles on your hips to help you loosen up.

Well, that’s easier said than done. It’s already bad enough that you’re gradually exposing yourself as the complete amateur you are, and out of all people who could’ve been the first to do any form of sexual advances on you, it just had to be Jisung. Perhaps you shouldn’t have rejected that one kid in high school who was the only one who ever had a crush on you. Even if that kid wasn’t your type and not a serious commitment anyway, maybe you would’ve at least some sort of experience with dick.

“A-ah—“ your breath hitches when he nips on the patch below your earlobe. He smiles against your skin as if he just made some scientific discovery and swipes his tongue on the same spot, eager to make you squirm. Not wanting to slip up anymore, you clamp your mouth shut with a hand.

“Let me hear you, baby. Just relax, I got you.” When the fuck did his voice start to sound lower and raspier? Where did ‘baby’ come from? All rationality and resistance leave your body when he wraps an arm around your waist and pulls you closer to him.

The cologne of musk lingers strong on him, almost intoxicating even, and you can’t form a cohesive thought anymore. The only things you are painfully aware of are an arm forcing your chest flush against his and his hot breath all over your neck.

You’re so far gone that you fail to notice that you’ve started grinding on his lap. Jisung moans softly into your neck as he encourages you to move with his hands.

“On your knees, baby,” he whispers after a while. A rush of disappointment runs through your veins once he detaches his lips from you and slides you off his lap, but all of that is forgotten once you see the prominent bulge in his pants.

Right. There’s a reason why you ended up in this predicament in the first place.

Jisung urges you to touch him with a simple nudge. “C’mon, baby. Take it off.”

You don’t waste time discarding his sweatpants. Just when you’re about to tug his underwear off, you notice the wet patch on the fabric. A surge of mischief washes over you as you boldly cupped his hard-on over his boxers, causing an obscenely loud moan from him.

He flinches, definitely not expecting that brashness from you, and throws his head back. “S-stop teasing me already and take that goddamn thing off or God help me what I’m going to do if you push my buttons.”

That. That was a threat. That dealt much more damage to you than you like to admit.

As much as you want to watch him break and see if he’d make his threats come true, you decide against your feelings and hook your fingers under the waistband and tug the fabric down in one swift motion. A groan leaves Jisung as his cock, fully hard and leaking precum, is exposed to the cold air. He’s certainly above average; on the longer side probably, and you’re conflicted on whether to think fuck, I want him in my mouth right now or fuck, how on earth is that supposed to fit into my mouth?!

You don’t get far with your inner conflict when a hand grabs a fistful of your hair and slowly urges you closer. The next thing you know, something is tapping your lips and before you fully register it, the tip of Jisung’s cock lies heavy on your tongue.

You carefully look up and meet Jisung’s hooded eyes. His shirt has ridden up a bit and flashes just a little bit of his toned stomach. That’s just enough of an indicator to see that Jisung is holding himself back, in case his irregular breathing hasn’t been a dead giveaway.

Jisung opens his mouth, about to say something, when you give an experimental suck on his dick. “Do something— f-fuck, a little more, baby.”

That’s enough to build your confidence up. You slowly take in more of his dick, sucking carefully and making sure to cover your teeth. The rest that doesn’t fit in your mouth is barely covered with your hands, and you messily try to coordinate your hands, switching between rubbing the base of his dick to cupping his balls.

“Mmh, use more pressure,” Jisung whispers, not trusting the stability of his voice when you fondle with his balls. A groan leaves him when you suck harder on his cock and switch back to swirling your tongue around. For a total beginner, you are holding yourself up better than he expected. Fuck.

“Focus on the tip fir— hhh- aa-ah...” His brain blacks out for a moment when you swirl your tongue around his tip and dare an experimental hum, the vibrations going straight down to his dick. The grip on your hair loosens, but it’s still firm enough to experience a sharp tug. “You’re doing good baby. So good.”

The combination of his sounds, the decent taste of precum on your tongue and the way his adam’s apple bops is enough to send you into sensory overload. You notice the way Jisung tenses his thighs, as to keep them still. You’re about to pull out completely to prevent your drool from getting on your face. However, before you get the chance to complain, he forces his length back on you that it grazes the back of your throat, nearly making you choke.

“Fuck, I— I’m gonna— s-soon—“ he hisses and you take it as a sign to speed up. At this point, your jaw hurts and a mixture of drool and precum drips down your chin. It’s borderline disgusting if you think about it, but the delectable sounds leaving Jisung compensates for it.

He sharply tugs on your hair, ordering you to pull off, but you slap his hand away. “I’m going to spill in your mouth if you don’t pull off right now—“ Jisung chokes on his words when you interrupt him with a hum as if to say so what? It doesn’t help that you’re looking up at him with teary eyes and a lot of conviction, even though you’re visibly struggling to keep half of his dick in your mouth.

When he cums, it’s accompanied but drawn out moans, and you forcing yourself to swallow the horrible texture. It’s not horrible per se, but you’d gladly refuse to swallow a second time if you were given the choice.

Jisung looks down at you with flushed cheeks and is about to wipe off the drool or cum or whatever liquid is staining your bottom lip, but you quickly block his hand. “I’ll clean up by myself.”

For a minuscule second, he looks defeated; he looks borderline disappointed, but before you can pinpoint his feelings for sure, his expression changes. “But what about you?” he asks, eyes raking down your body and stopping at the waistband of your pants.

“I’ll deal with it on my own.” You shrug, avoiding his eyes. All of sudden, you find it hard to breathe in the room as the realization settles into your brain. You just sucked off Jisung. Jisung, out of all fucking people.

“You sure?” Your eyes flit to him who looks like he’s been observing you the entire time. His breathing has calmed down, his lips look a little bit plumper than before and his hair sticks out in all different directions. Looking at his current state makes you feel sick, and your undying hatred for him starts growing again. It’s your fault that he looks so fucked out and—

Why the fuck did you even do that?

“Yes. Now stop asking before I change my mind and kick you out.”

Before he can have the last word, you turn on your heels and rush into your bedroom, ignoring the fact that your underwear is practically drenched.

You wake up to the smell of pancakes emerging from the kitchen. “What are you doing?”

“I’m making breakfast?” Jisung throws you a questioning look and then plates the last batch of pancakes from the pan. “It’s the least I can do after you were friendly enough to let me crash on the couch.”

Your eyes wander to the countertop to the two plates stacked with pancakes. Jisung finishes up the second plate and hands it out to you.

You stare dumbly at the plate. It’s too early for your brain to mouth filter to work, so the first thing you spit out is, “How do I know you didn’t poison it?”

“Are you fucking serious—“ Jisung squeezes his eyes shut, mutters something inaudible under his breath before he puts on the fakest smile he can muster. “I can take a bite if you really insist.”

“Give me that plate.” You point to the other plate on the counter. Presentation-wise, it looks the same as the one Jisung is offering you, minus the visible steam.

“There. Wanna switch again or can I finally eat?” he scoffs when you walk past him to get cutlery and sit at the dining table; it’s essentially a round wooden table where one of the legs is about to break. Two plates and a pitcher at most take up the entire surface. You really should consider buying a new table, but you have better things to spend on rather than that.

From your peripheral vision, you see Jisung rolling his eyes. Perhaps you were making an entire unnecessary circus, critically cutting through the pancake and inspecting each and every side before stuffing it in your mouth. But again, in your defense, it’s too early in the morning to show basic etiquette towards him out of all people.

You have to admit that visually, the pancakes look good. What you didn’t expect were the pancakes to taste just how they look. It looks like you couldn’t contain your surprise in you, judging by the amused smirk that finds its way onto Jisung’s face as he claims the chair across from you.

“As if you could actually cook,” you splutter because there’s no fucking way you are giving him that satisfaction of the day.

However, it seems to bemuse him even more. “You literally eat this every day and know the recipe by heart. With the excessive number of times you recite the ingredients a day, obviously, something got stuck in my brain,” he explains while cutting through his own portion.

The rest of breakfast is spent in silence. You both finish at the same time and while you’re washing the dishes, he’s stayed put in the chair, mindlessly checking something on his phone.

“You didn’t have to cook, you know. You could’ve just left.” you start. It’s already awkward enough that he’s still here. Bloody hell, you should’ve just waited with the plates and ushered him out of your place instead of just getting away as fast as possible from the table. Now that you think about it, this was probably the only time you two were somewhat amicable at such proximity. (Even if you didn’t talk at all. Still, it’s progress.)

He drops his phone on the table with a soft ‘bang’. “It’s the least I could do. Besides, I was starving too.”

“In other words, you’re taking advantage of my fridge?”

“Exactly.”

Just as you’re drying your hands, he’s about to leave. “I’ll get going, lecture’s starting in a few. And, uh, thanks for letting me stay here.”

You just shoot him a weird look. “You already thanked me once. How often do you wanna repeat yourself?”

Jisung rolls his eyes. “Fine, next time I’ll just leave without a word then.”

It’s when he’s finally out of the door that his last words sink in.

“Yo, I have pics of sweaty Changbin in a jersey. How much do you wanna pay for those gems?”

You nearly choke on air. “What the fuck?” Really, that’s the only appropriate reaction.

“Hyunjin, this needs more context.” Felix looks like he’s seriously second-guessing his taste in men before shaking it off with a sigh and elaborates. “He’s been trying to find out some scoop about Chan for the campus blog and caught him in his angry boxer mode and Changbin was also there assisting him. Hey, did you know that Chan doesn’t tape his hands before punching the bag? Fuck, that’s so intimidating but so hot at the same time—“

“Yah! I’m your boyfriend! How can you say that in front of me?!”

Changbin. Changbin in a jersey. Changbin in a jersey and drenched in sweat. And Hyunjin seriously has HQ pictures of that Changbin.

It really, absolutely shouldn’t have been the first thing that crossed your mind, but the idea of that Changbin — bonus if he still has anger pent up in him — barging into your place and instantly throwing you on the bed—

“I’m not a perverted creep who’s gonna buy pictures of him that he doesn’t even know exist. Besides, isn’t that a violation of his rights? He never consented to those pics. This is college, you’re only working for the campus blog, not fucking Dispatch.” you deadpan.

“So you don’t even want to take a sneak peek at a picture?”

“No.”

You barely stepped a foot into your apartment when Jisung storms out of his own place and stops in front of you. “You fucking liar.”

“Excuse me? What the— hmph!”

The next thing you know, Jisung forces his way into your hallway, slams the door shut and crowds you against it. His face is invading your personal space, eyes enraged and jaw locked. Even though his anger is far from justified as you haven’t glanced at him ever since he stayed over, a tiny part of you believes that you pissed him off for good. It's not the first time you witness him angry. However, it's the first time you witness him look as if someone murdered his family and was trying to get revenge.

“I thought you took care of it yourself!”

“Took care of what?”

“Did you already forget that I can read your mind?!”

You scrunch your nose, trying to connect the dots in his words. It doesn't take long for you to realize that there’s no point in trying. A frustrated groan leaves you. “Why are you getting so riled up? I just breathed and you stormed into my place!”

“‘Bullshit. You weren’t just breathing,” he snaps, and you flinch when his hand lands a few inches beside your face with a loud pang. “You were thinking of Changbin again! And I mean that in the thousand sex positions and locations you want him to bang you kind of thinking! And also—“

“Also what?”

“I know you’ve been pent up for days. Seriously, why don’t you just get off like every other sane human being?”

His brutal delivery leaves you flabbergasted. How the fuck does he know that? No. No. No. He doesn’t know. He can’t. Just because he can read your mind doesn’t mean that you didn’t pleasure yourself after giving him that blowjob. Jisung’s probably bluffing — he has to be bluffing.

“W-why should I answer you?” you stutter. Suddenly the walls look much more interesting. When was the last time you painted the walls? Maybe it’s time to switch things up—

“Are you really about to get all cocky with me? Give me a break.” Jisung chews on his bottom lip after little deliberation. “You wanna know why? Because one of my best friends is going through a hard time that can utterly destroy his entire future thanks to the fucking universe! If that isn’t stressful as it is, I also see and hear all kinds of things you want Changbin to do to you. And your fantasies are also affecting me.”

You stare at him as if he sprouted eight new legs. “So you’ve also been…?”

“Sexually frustrated? Fuck yes. And it’s all your fault. So take responsibility and do something against it before I do.”

“Are you threatening me?”

“So what if I am?”

A cold shiver runs down your spine once you meet his stone-cold gaze. Frustration is displayed all over his features, from his labored breaths to the raised brow. He’s not playing mind games this time, he’s actually frustrated.

There are a billion red flags, a billion blinking signs saying NO DON’T YOU EVEN THINK OF DOING THIS! DON’T BE A FUCKING IDIOT in your mind. There are so many countless reasons why you should listen to your head, but the way Jisung is lusting after you is terrifyingly attractive.

You don’t trust your voice to respond verbally. Instead, you look down at your trembling hand and tug at the hem of his shirt. It’s just then when you also realize that your thighs are clenched. Fuck.

Jisung takes the hint. In the blink of an eye, he’s yanking you to your room, kicks the door shut with a loud ‘thud’, and manhandles you on the bed. You’re too stunned to react, and gulp when he hovers over you and strips off his jacket, leaving him in a white shirt that doesn’t hide his toned arms.

“Use the color system, alright? Green when everything is alright, yellow when you want me to slow down, and red when you want me to stop for good?” he asks.

“I know what the color system is,” you mutter, tearing your eyes away from him.

“That’s not an answer to my question.” he presses.

“Fine, color system it is. There! Happy? Now get on with it—“

Jisung pins your wrists above your head vigorously. “You don’t call the shots here. I do.”

Your stomach swoops. You really should’ve listened to your brain. This Jisung isn’t comparable with the Jisung you sucked off a few days ago. That Jisung was cocky — he’s always cocky, what are you even saying — but he still gave you room to breathe. This Jisung is downright scary.

“Good thing for you, I know exactly what you want me to do—” he starts sinisterly as his thigh settles firmly between your legs, pressing up against your clothed core. You suddenly regret wearing a skirt. “—and trust me baby, even if I couldn’t read your mind, I would do all those things because that’s what I plan on doing to you regardless.”

The look he gives you should be illegal. He shouldn’t be in the position to look down at you, as if he’s the king and has free reign over the consequences you are about to bear. Your head suddenly feels dizzy, and it’s way too hot in the room. It’s as if your bedroom has morphed into some vacuum as you’re desperately trying to breathe. Your system ceases to function once he presses his thigh even harder on your cunt, and all you manage to make is a pathetic whimper.

A menacing grin makes its way to his face. He’s clearly thriving on this ego-boost and continues to grind his thigh on you until your hips start to sway along. It seems like you found your voice again once he leans down and nibbles on your neck. Your moans are barely audible at first, but they slowly turn into drawn out mewls and labored breaths.

Your eyes snap open when he suddenly retreats his thigh and holds your hip in a vice grip, stopping you from moving. “W-what the fuck? Why did you stop?”

“Tell me what you want me to do.”

“Huh?” You squint at him. “But you can read my mind!”

“I want you to say it out loud.”

There’s no way in the universe that you’ll do that. You’ll gladly wipe off that shit-eating grin out of his face whether he likes it or not, but with his hold on your wrists, that is deemed impossible.

You should say something out loud though. Yellow. That would save you from the humiliation. You could regain at least an ounce of control, not feel so pathetic anymore. It’s a simple word, just two syllables, six letters. The tables can be turned to your advantage. It’s easy.

You don’t.

“You’re embarrassed, aren’t you? You can’t say all those filthy thoughts in your head out loud because you’re ashamed, huh? Not when you love feeling so powerless, subject to anything I do to you. Face it baby, just admit that you’re a needy little bitch who wants to get off on my fingers so bad, and I’ll give you what you want,” Jisung growls in between hot, wet kisses he leaves on your neck.

“I—“ you whimper after some difficulties, “I’m your needy little bitch w-who wants to get off on your fingers.”

Jisung’s head pipes up, his face just hovering a couple of inches away from yours. With that little distance between you, you know it’s not a trick of the light and that his eyes are blown up with hunger, hunger, and more hunger. "Not just any bitch, but mine? Do you like it when I call you mine?"

You nod. From there on, it’s a chain reaction.

He wastes no time slipping his fingers past your panties, mindlessly trailing along your folds. You throw your head back in pleasure, bucking your hips into his touch. A cry leaves you the moment he slips a finger inside you, his thumb simultaneously flicking your clit. It’s sensory overload, rendering your rationality to a standstill.

Your utter downfall is marked once Jisung adds a second finger, never slowing down. He groans at the way you clench around him like a maniac, and the sounds he makes send jolts all over your body. You’re writhing under his grasp at this point, overstimulated by everything yet at the same time, you feel your arousal slowly fading.

“Does my baby feel good? Are you close?” Jisung asks, nipping on your earlobe.

“I don’t know,” you whisper.

“What do you mean, ‘you don’t know’?”

The pit in your stomach grows. You’ve never experienced claustrophobia, but right now, it’s like everything’s suffocating you. “A-as in I don’t fucking know!” you exclaim shakily.

Jisung stops his movements. The weight on your wrists is lifted, and he looks at you, face unreadable. “(y/n), color. What’s your color?”

“Green. It’s just...” your trail off, avoiding his eyes.

“Just...?”

“I’ve never come before,” you confess in defeat. You really can’t believe that Jisung out of all people is the one to make the call of judgment. “I mean it! I’ve tried getting myself off but I never managed to... so cut me some fucking slack because I’m trying my best here and am still new to everything!”

Jisung stays silent. He stares at you in… confusion? disbelief? You really have no clue how to read his expression. Something negative for sure, though. He’s Satan’s spawn, for fuck’s sake. He’s probably thinking twice about going down on you, thinking about the gravity of a mistake he’s dealing with this time. He just has no clue how to articulate his irritation—

“You’re so cute, fucking hell,” he whispers.

You do a double-take. What? What did he say?

A small chuckle escapes his lips. As if he doesn’t mind. Wait. He doesn’t mind. “I’ll take good care of you. Trust me on this,” he says.

“That’s a little late coming from you, your fingers are literally up my vagi— h-ha-aah—“

“Just shut up and let me do the work.” Jisung rolls his eyes as he works you up again, fingers moving at a slower pace this time. Within minutes, he’s reduced you into a panting, stuttering mess. “You look so tiny and helpless underneath me. How adorable,” he coos, to which you just whine.

“Yeah? You like it when I call you tiny? Like it when your tight cunt already feels stuffed with just two fingers? Maybe we should stretch it to a third one, think you can handle that?” he presses on. That’s when he rams his fingers into a particular spot, making you arch your back. A knowing smile makes its way onto his lips. “Found it.”

“N-no, fuck— t-too much—” you babble, but he continues to abuse your sweet spot without remorse.

An unfamiliar pressure builds up in your abdomen, threatening to burst. Your whines grow louder, breaths shallower. You squeeze your eyes shut as you thrust your hips into his hand, desperate for more friction. “Jisung, I think I’m gonna—”

“Oh no, not like this,” he growls. “Keep your eyes open. I want you to look at me when you cum. So you’ll remember that it was me who made you cum for the first time. It’s me who’s making you feel good.”

That is easier said than done. You manage to open your eyes, though with a lot of difficulties. Scratch that, your eyes are barely open. Jisung is a blurry image, and you’re unable to register everything he says, the sound of his fingers squelching in your heat blaring in your ears.

You deem it fucking impossible to keep your eyes open when your orgasm hits you hard, body spasming from the sensation. But you keep on trying, keep forcing to set your eyes on him.

It’s all worth it though when the reward you get is a proud smile on his face, as well as streams of praises coming from his mouth.

It’s a continuous pattern that goes as follows:

1. You spend your days glued to your friends.

2. At least one of them (usually, it’s Seungmin) preaches how you should get your shit together and ask Changbin out.

3. Somehow, Changbin manages to leave a strong presence in your fantasies and you end up daydreaming about a scenario that stars him, you and a bed (if you’re feeling more daring, any other kind of surface or object he could pound you into.)

4. Jisung notices and forces the horniness out of your system.

5. You tell yourself that it’s the last time Jisung has such control over you.

And then the cycle repeats.

But here’s the thing: you find yourself doing no. 5 you with less conviction the more it happens. No. 5 is a formality at this point. You don’t know when you went the wrong path, but are you really in a position to complain? Jisung is good with you, he’s good with his fingers, even better with his mouth.

But then there’s this side of Jisung after he’s ruined you. He knows what you want to eat after you’re all cleaned up, knows what show you want to watch, knows if you want to just drop dead in bed or need someone to force you to finish your uni assignments. In short: Jisung is good. If you ever said that out loud and someone caught wind of it, they might assume that you liked him.

But Changbin. You like Changbin. You like Changbin you like Changbin you like Changbin—

You like Changbin, right?

“You’ve been looking at me as if I had the word CLOWN written over my forehead. Do I have something on my face or what?” you cross your arms and are met with your friends quickly averting their eyes from you.

Felix is the first one to break the silence. “Is that a new dress?”

“Not really. I recently found it when I cleared out my closet and decided to give it one more try. Why—“ you pause, and your expression turns grim once it dawns on you. “I look ridiculous in this, don’t I?”

“Yeah.”

“No!”

“You look like a clown.”

“Seungmin-Hyung, did you really just???”

If your crippling self-esteem hadn’t reached its all-time low before, then it definitely did now. “Geez, thanks,” you deadpan.

Jeongin is panicking, trying to provide some damage control as Felix snaps at Hyunjin and Seungmin. “Nobody cares about your two cents!”

“Well, but she asked for our opinion!”

“Nobody cares about your honest two cents!”

“Let’s just have lunch at the burger place and talk about this later, Hyung!”

You’re still dazed, chuckling dryly like those cartoon characters usually do when their soul leaves their body after someone dragged them. The entire situation is downright sad to witness. Is this a sign that your period is coming soon? That’s it! That probably explains why you’re acting so uncharacteristically sensitive today—

“The dress suits you, (y/n). You should wear it more often,” Changbin says.

“Hah?” you flinch and you’re sure your soul actually left your body when you turn to face Changbin smiling genuinely at you. Out of your periphery, you see Jisung and Chan behind him, but that’s not the point.

What? The? Fuck? Did he really just? Did Changbin just… compliment you?

You don’t realize how long you’ve dumbly stared at him until Jeongin nudges you. “Uhhhh, thanks!” you squeak out, cringing at how your voice just went up by an octave. You can feel Jeongin facepalming internally at your response, but you don’t blame him; you’d most likely do the same.

Changbin just smiles before he turns away to get to his next class, tugging Jisung and Chan with him.

Nevermind. Wearing this dress was the best decision you’ve made in your entire college career. The way you suddenly beam almost gives Felix whiplash — it’s obvious in the way he stares at you as if he ended up watching a comedy instead of the melodrama he was expecting. Hyunjin seems just as flabberghasted, Jeongin is still cringing from the secondhand embarrassment, and Seungmin just grins.

“Ah, so lover boy is the reason, I see.”

You roll your eyes at him. “Oh my god, just shut up, Seungmin.”

Jisung is eating you out with such fervor that has you sobbing and thrashing around. He’s merciless in every literal sense, keeping your hips planted on the couch with his hands to the point where veins are bulging out, and lapping up your juices with his tongue, continuing even though you already came. He only pulls away, lips glistening in your release, once you tug on his hair despite his orders to not do that.

“Already spent now? But baby, we just started.” he pouts. “Or is it because it’s me? Would you defy if Changbin was the one eating you out?”

You stare at him with blown out eyes. Why the fuck is he bringing up Changbin now? The words hang heavy in your throat and are threatening to burst, but the death stare he delivers stops you from doing so.

Something’s not right.

“Don’t tell me... you’re wet again because I just mentioned Changbin. Changbin this, Changbin that, huh? It’s always only Changbin, Changbin, Changbin. And I thought I was doing you good all along,” he rages, making you flinch. He can be terrifying when he wants to be, but this time, he seems completely out of it. “You know what? I’m fucking done with holding back. You’re mine, got it?”

With that, he dives back into your cunt, sucking harshly on your clit as he slides a finger in you. You try to pry him off, but his weight is restraining you to the sofa.

“Jisung, it hurts— ouch—“ Panic starts to rise in you when he finally detaches himself from your nub, but instead, moves down to your thighs and starts sucking on the skin with a force much harder than you’re used from him. “What are you doing? S-stop—!”

“You’re mine, you’re supposed to be mine. I am literally written on your skin. So why can’t you just wish to be with me? Do I have to mark you up so that you’ll finally get it?”

It hurts. It hurts. Once you feel teeth on your skin, you burst into tears. “Red, Jisung, red!”

As if it was the spell to break the cast, Jisung finally snaps out of it. His features break once his eyes meet yours. Regret sticks onto him like a second skin, and he slightly moves his hand in an attempt to reach out to you. Your muscles react faster though, and you instinctively pull your legs towards yourself and shy away from him. The way his face drops by another layer of remorse tugs at your heartstrings, but the impending fear overpowers everything else you’re feeling.

“What’s going on? What went over you?” you ask.

Jisung’s breath is shaky. He feverishly opens his mouth several times, but no sound is coming out. He’s struggling to find the right words, maybe trying to find a somewhat reasonable justification for his behavior. In the end, he lets out a defeated sigh. “I can’t do this anymore without having feelings—” his voice is weak and vulnerable and you’ve never witnessed him break down like this before, “—I like you. I like you the way you like Changbin. I just...”

Silence.

“Leave,” you whisper, but in this silence, your voice rings out loud and clear. This is… too much weight for your heart to carry.

Jisung complies. He grabs his belongings from the floor, slips on his shirt, and leaves with his head hung low. His footsteps grow more and more distant, but then he stops.

“Are you really in love with Changbin?” His voice cracks.

You don’t muster up the courage to face him. “Just read my mind.”

It’s silent again. Too overwhelming. You’re waiting for yet another outburst of him, waiting for his “I want you to say it out loud”, because that’s how the conversation always goes.

The last thing you hear is the front door falling in its lock with a soft click.

You like Changbin. You like Changbin you like Changbin you like Changbin you like—

You like him, right?

Things have changed.

You and Jisung haven’t crossed paths ever since, not even passed each other by in the hallways. It’s weird since you’ve grown used to seeing him every day outside of your apartment complex. You’ve never really acknowledged each other’s presence with a wave or something in the sorts; it was just a second where your eyes met, and then your days went on.

That being said, you run into Changbin quite frequently. If you ever exchanged words, it’s nothing more than friendly small talk and the one or other compliment about his music. Talking to Changbin is nice; he makes you smile.

You know a little bit more about Changbin now, like his favorite ice cream flavor or the fact that he has a pokemon plushie named Gyu. It’s cute, and you chuckle when you think about how you’d pay good money for that information a few weeks ago.

Changbin is nice, and there’s nothing more to the story.

The chaotic quartett you call your friends however, doesn’t seem to buy it. They are loud and nosey and have eyes, so it was set in stone that they’d tease you about it sooner or later. It’s all fun and games, and you played along with it at first, because that’s how you guys are. But as time went on, when the banter became so repetitive and blown out of proportion to the point where they have made clowning you about your small interactions with Changbin the pinnacle of their entertainment, you’ve begun to be fed up by it.

“Will you finally stop bringing him up in an indecent manner every single lunch break? Or even better, stop bringing him up altogether?” You snap, which shocks everyone at the table because you never snap.

Nobody has time to react as you quickly stomp away to grab some fresh air. You mutter out every curse under the sun, not intending to let your anger take over you this much. You’ve only made it past the door when Felix catches up to you, placing a hand over your shoulder.

“(y/n), what’s the matter? Clearly, something’s bothering you. And I know it’s not because of just Seungmin.” Concern is woven in his smooth voice.

You have to admit, it was a smart and calculated move from your friends to send Felix your way. He’s always been the compassionate one out of your little friend group. Like a pillar, he’s the one who keeps you all grounded (and he’s the one to drive your asses back home after the wild Alpha Beta Gamma frat parties).

“I don’t like Changbin that way, I realized. So it’d be very much appreciated if you asses didn’t allude to that every time,” you huff.

Felix sends you an understanding smile. “We can work that out. You know that Hyunjin and Seungmin in particular can be insensitive and sometimes don’t realize they’ve taken things too far..”

“Fine, but that’s not the main thing that’s eating me up alive, Felix.” you sigh. The words seem to flow out of your mouth like a waterfall. “I’ve realized I’ve never really liked Changbin. Okay, fine, he was just a crush I had but I don’t like him.”

He nods slowly, his brain processing your ramble. “So you like someone else.”

“Yes. And I don’t know how to fix it because we got into a huge fight.”

“Talk to them. That’s the only thing left to do.” His response is immediate, and he says it as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. “Every relationship has its ups and downs, and if you want to be committed, you have to fight for it. If you were made for one another, you’ll make it.”

The last part makes you laugh internally. If only he knew.

“Let me guess, you expect me to barge into his place to sort things out,” you say.

Felix gives you the look of judgment. “I mean, you could also show some human decency and text him in advance so he’s also prepared. But that works fine too.”

Come to think of it, you’ve never been to Jisung’s apartment. That’s about to change when you knock on his door sometime in the evening, shortly after sunset.

Jisung’s face immediately drops once he opens the door. “What are you doing here?” His voice is soft, drenched in regret.

It’s not that his appearance has reached rock bottom. He still takes good care of himself; however, you pick up the dark circles under his eyes and his complexion seems a little paler. Not sickeningly pale, but in a sense that he hasn’t seen the light of day for a few consecutive days.

You shift your weight on one leg and fiddle with your fingers. “Can we talk?”

Jisung gulps. “Yeah, sure,” he mumbles after a moment of hesitation before inviting you in.

“I’ve thought a long time about this. Everything, really,” you start awkwardly as soon as you’re both standing stiffly in his living room. “I, um…”

You cringe inwardly as your voice trails off. Truth be told, you’ve rehearsed what you wanted to say many times a few hours ago. Even wrote down the entire speech. Then threw the draft away, only to compose a new one. And then again and again and again. After what felt like an eternity, you had polished your final speech and memorized it from top to bottom, even making sure that your flow sounded natural. But now that this is the real deal, your mind goes blank. Of course, of fucking course, your illiterate brain had to give up on you in the situation that mattered the most.

Jisung purses his lips. “Do you want something to drink first? No need to rush—”

“I don’t like Changbin!” you blurt out. Jisung stares at you in confusion. “I mean, I used to like Changbin — I still do, he’s a nice guy! Don’t get me wrong — but that’s all he is. He’s… nice. I like him, as a friendly guy. I had a crush on him, but now it’s just, uh, like. Platonic! Yeah, platonic.”

Despite him nodding slowly, you know that he is still lost. You would be too if you were on the receiving end of this painfully clumsy delivery.

You give yourself a mental slap as you take a deep breath. It can’t get any worse than this. Definitely impossible. You’ve already proven to him how bad your public speaking skills are. Might as well get over it with the bluntest words. “I miss you. And not because of the sexual things we did, but everything else. I miss you coming over, miss the movie night, and all that. I miss you, Jisung.”

He stares at you silently. Your eyes search his face for any sign of emotion, and for one too many times, Jisung is impossible to read. Okay, perhaps you did manage to tell him what you wanted to tell him even worse than whatever the fuck your initial attempt was.

But then his blank armor cracks. Little by little, his eyes soften, disbelief and remorse on display for you to see. Jisung is looking at you as if his world has fallen apart even more. He’s looking at you as if he’s clinging to the last threads of reason, trying to make sense of the situation. He’s looking at you with eyes that could hold stars behind them, stars that were supposed to burn out yet shine brighter than the universe.

“How can you say that? I hurt you. I made you cry! I was being a selfish asshole who put out his anger on you!” he exclaims, voice breaking towards the end. Pain clouds his red eyes, and he’s fighting to keep the tears at bay.

You slowly prod closer to him, testing the waters. He doesn’t react once, not even when you stand directly in front of him. Not even when you gently place your hands on a shoulder each. Not until you say, “It’s alright. I’m alright. No hard feelings.”

That’s his breaking point. Tears stream down his face, while quiet hiccups jump out of his throat. “How can you be so nice to me?” His sobs are muffled as he eases into your touch, hiding his face in the crook of your neck. Instinctively, he wraps his arms around your waist, clinging onto you as if you’re his lifeline.

The answer is simple, you say to yourself, as you thread a hand in his hair. “We’re soulmates.”

The weight of the words hangs in the air, shattering the previous tension and all the worries in your heart. It’s liberating, finally being able to say it out loud without feeling like an abnormality for saying those words with happiness. You’re soulmates. You’re soulmates, and that’s okay.

Jisung’s sobs resound throughout the room, and so do his countless, tiny yeah, we are’s. You need a moment before you register the wetness on your face. It feels like an eternity standing in his warm embrace, even after there are no more tears left to cry.

“Can I kiss you?” Your voice is quiet, barely above a whisper, but Jisung catches it. two fingers gently lift your chin so that you’re facing him. You almost melt when your eyes meet, his gaze filled with adoration that makes you want to burst at the seams.

“Yeah. I’d love that.” Jisung smiles.

It costs you your willpower to tear your eyes away from him before they flutter down to his lips. Despite his bottom lip being a little cracked, they look inviting and you wonder what they taste like. You expect him to nudge you, expect him to tell you to hurry up and do something because you’re pretty sure you’re staring at his lips for far too long.

He doesn’t. The grip on your chin is loose as if to tell you to take your time and go at your own pace. But the longer you wait, the more reluctance builds up. It’s a lot of power he’s given you; hell, it’s the first time he hands the reigns to you.

“Can you… uhm… I’ve never done this before, so yeah…” you look at him with a crooked smile.

The breathless chuckle that leaves him sounds like music to your ears. Jisung moves his hand to the back of your neck before closing the distance between you.

The kiss is short and sweet, but that alone suffices to make the butterflies in your stomach burst. The faint taste of coke lingers on him, and before you know it, you’re kissing again. Jisung’s lips are like an addiction, reeling you back in for another one. Somewhere along the way, the kisses change. Innocent presses of lips are long forgotten, replaced by teeth playfully tugging on your bottom lip, and Jisung kissing you deeper to the point where he steals all oxygen out of your lungs.

Your hands slide down his chest, tugging on his shirt. Startled by your bold actions, he pulls away, but you catch him back into another liplock that leaves the two of you breathless. All you can think of clearly is Jisung Jisung Jisung—

This time he forces himself away from you. Gasping for air, he places his forehead on yours. “If we go farther than this, then I don’t know if I can control myself.” His warning is barely above a whisper.

“Then don’t,” you whisper back.

That’s all the reassurance he needs before leading you to his bedroom, all the whilst latching onto your lips once more. He doesn’t let go of you until your back hits the soft mattress and he’s on top of you. Warm, slightly calloused hands trail from your cheeks to the hem of your shirt.

“Color?”

“Green,” you respond, smiling up at him. The sun has long vanished at the horizon, replaced by the dim moon and stars. Despite only a little light surging past the blinds into the room, you can see Jisung’s features crystal clear. The endearing smile is cast into the back of your mind, so is the delicacy in his touch, fingertips lightly grazing your skin as he sheds all your clothes off until you’re left in your underwear. After hearing your complaints, he discards his own clothes with an amused glint in his eyes.

Jisung takes his time pounding every single detail of your features into his memory. His hands roam all over your body, inciting goosebumps. You lean into his touch with a sigh and flit your gaze to him once he stops on a particular spot.

The look on his face is unreadable, but the hesitation in his voice speaks for itself. “Does this bug you?” he asks, uncertainty laced in it as he runs his finger over each character of his name that’s inked under your collarbone. You shake your head with a hum that turns into a soft moan once he leaves kisses on the spots his finger burned before, one for each letter. Eventually, his actions spiral out to sucking lovebites and rutting his bulge against your heat, enticing louder whines out of you. Your vision morphs into blurriness as you move your hips in sync with his, locking your arms around his neck to pull him even closer to you.

“(y/n), baby…” Jisung heaves for air, “Is it okay if I…?.”

“Please,” you mewl, “want you inside me.” Your desperation must’ve shone through your tone, as Jisung presses a loving kiss on your forehead before he reaches over to the nightstand for a condom, grinning like a lovesick idiot.

In books and movies, this is the part where the virgin would reach peak nervousness. Too many fears would be inhabiting their mind; the fear of pain, fear of not fulfilling their partner’s needs, fear of the entire situation, essentially. Whatever they depict in those books and movies, it doesn’t match up with the warmth and want pumping in your veins. Even after Jisung slipped your and his underwear off and slid the condom on his leaking cock, there’s no sign of fear bubbling in you. It’s rather the opposite; you nudge him to finally slide into you.

“So impatient,” he tuts playfully, and because he can’t help being a bit sadistic, he teases your dripping entrance with the tip of his cock. Tears begin to form in your eyes from the frustration of clenching around nothing. You feel like crying for good once he slowly pushes into you. The stretch feels unfamiliar and completely different than what you’re used to from his fingers, but it’s not unpleasant as you throw your head back. While you’re adjusting to his girth, Jisung observes your every expression, faltering whenever you scrunch your eyes shut.

“You still there?” he asks in hushed tones, caressing your cheek.

In awe about his concern, you nod. “I’m fine. It’s just… new. I’ve never done this, but I guess you already figured that out.” It takes you a moment to catch your breath, and then you give him the green light to continue.

The way Jisung has your hands firmly against the bed lacks the usual roughness; he isn’t gripping your wrists as if he’s about to cut off your blood circulation. This time, he has intertwined his fingers with yours as if he doesn’t ever want to let go of you. A firework of colors and stars is all you see as he thrusts into slow and deep and with all the passion he has to offer. His lips don’t leave space for a breather either; he kisses you with so much fervor that it swallows your heart up whole. At that instant, you realize that he’s claimed your heart and isn’t going to give that up any time soon. You don’t mind, because you know that you’ve committed the same crime.

It’s not long after until you feel the orgasm building up. Jisung brings one hand down to flick your clit, and just like that, you unravel beneath him. His own release follows suit, a muffled groan coming from his lips as he spills into the condom.

It’s quiet for a moment, no words spoken between you except for harsh breathing. Eventually, Jisung slides his softening dick out of you and disappears for a moment to clean up, returning with a damp towel for you to freshen up a little, as well as a glass of water.

“I think I won’t be able to walk tomorrow,” you say after you gulped down the drink in one go, voice devoid of emotion. A laugh leaves Jisung. The way you deliver it is so casual as if he didn’t just have his dick in you minutes before. “Also, isn’t this the part where we should cuddle?”

“So bossy, your royal majesty.” He even takes a bow before he climbs back on the bed, pulling the covers over your bodies, and scooting up to you. He says something else, but you don’t register what exactly. All you care about is being wrapped in his warm embrace. The stench of sweat isn’t prominent on him anymore. Instead, it’s a huge cloud of Axe overpowering your senses. You would complain, but you’re too blissed out to bother.

Jisung must’ve noticed at a certain point that you’ve wandered to daydream paradise. “You’ve been quiet for a while. A penny for your thoughts.”

“But you can read my mind.”

“I want you to say it out loud.” His answer comes like a shot while his hand is brushing through your hair. “That, and your thoughts are too jumbled and my head is going to malfunction if I try to decode everything running in your head right now.”

The corners of your lips quirk upwards. “I’m just thinking about how we did everything in the wrong order. It’s just now that we kissed, before that I only sucked you off or something. We’re so fucked up.”

“If you word it that way, we definitely didn’t follow the book.” Jisung laughs in agreement. The vibrations from his chest causes you to bubble up in warmth.

“I don’t mind, though. That’s not the point. I’m happy.” You don’t have to look up to know that his eyes lit up. “Jisung, I’m happy that you’re mine.”

The hold around your waist tightens, and you feel a soft kiss being pressed on top of your head. “And I’m happy that you’re mine.”

In another lifetime, another universe, you probably wouldn’t have to go through these struggles. Society would normalize having someone that completes you. You wouldn’t go through countless stages of denial, countless stages of frustration, and countless stages of doubt.

In another lifetime, another universe, you potentially could’ve been on even worse terms. Just like in those cyberpunk movies, maybe you two would be enemies, one fighting alongside the government, the other assisting the villain who tries to overthrow the system. Star-crossed lovers, that’s what you two would be dubbed as.

In another lifetime, another univer—

No need to fantasize about what could be. The only lifetime that matters is this lifetime, this universe, your reality. In reality, people like you live in hiding. In reality, society is doubtful towards people with soulmates. In reality, people like you are destined for a tragedy. It’s taken you a long time to wrap it around your head.

That’s alright though. You’re alright. You’ll always be alright. The universe might have not played in your favor in this lifetime, but you still found each other. Perhaps, the universe will be more forgiving towards you in your next lifetime. Or the one after. Who knows? Whatever happens, at least you know you have one person you’re bound to meet wherever you are, whenever you are. One person who won’t ever let go of you. One person you won’t ever let go of.

“Yeah, I’m yours.”

#i'm never writing a oneshot again this is too stressful for my heart #stray kids smut #skz smut #han jisung smut #jisung smut #stray kids dark hours #dom!jisung #sub!reader #jijiri.txt #smut.mine #i winged the ending so pls go easy on me dlskjflkjsa

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bmbochangetales · 3 years

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Sorry to interrupt the bimbo feed but I need to speak for minute:

So I had someone really shy message me we will call angel. I won’t tag them, but they know who they are. And if the person who messaged angel ever reads this, you don’t deserve a bimbo or any fuck toys.

Angel asked me nervously in messenger and with a lot of apologies mixed in if I could write a softer bimbo piece. Explaining angel likes the idea of bimbos but not wanting to be totally brainless or treated like a trash can, not losing all sense of self. Maybe just snippets in a silly bimbo or himbos day. A softer person who is with them, not an angry using owner. Maybe someone who lives their normal life by day and home is their play space.

I asked why angel was so nervous to ask for something so simple and sweet. Sweet little angel explained that they talked about their preferences with someone else in the community and were told in a very disrespectful way that angel’s idea wasn’t what it was about. Angel needed to want to be a different way. Serving a master and forgetting who they were. Only made to be used sexually and nothing else. Too dumb to function only wanting to be used and degraded.

I stopped then and told Angel, in the end it is about two consenting people agreeing on what they like and all my stories are fantasy. I write some things but that is not end all be all views or what I want necessarily.

If you chose to do real life play or live the lifestyle, it is two consenting people agreeing on what choices and giving control and respect to each other, even if it may not be in a sense some people as respect. I believe this community falls in BDSM and should follow the rules as such.

Don’t be an asshole to people with different views then you on a kink. If someone likes softer sides and doesn’t want hard core, simply say pleasure talking to you, we should find people who match each other more. If you ever tell me how to enjoy my kinks, fetishes and sex life and try to push me outside my boundaries , I can and will block you. In real life, I would knock you out. Also, if you are being harassed or bothered by someone please block them and report them. That is not cool in real life ever and I may remove it from fantasy stuff if it is a problem and encourages the wrong kind of behavior. I am 100% about consent. Just respect people for the love of god. Separate real from fantasy. Play how you want and don’t infringe on other people.

Never be scared of YOUR kink style or think you have to have a fetish a certain way. This is all about what you want. You don’t have to love hypnotized to a mindless drone with big fake body parts being used, degraded and demeaned to enjoy bimbos.If you want to see a softer side of bimbos and their master/sir/owner/partner that’s totally cool. I actually really like the idea and am going to work on some softer pieces. Soft Bimbo Hours will become my special little pet project.

So if you want to be used and made to feel like an object, with no thoughts ever owned and controlled, filled with silicone to look faker than fake, you do you, it can be a lot of fun. If you want to a degraded server of everyone you meet, go for it. But also if you just want to look cute , be a little spacey and stick on a more simpler side of things being vanilla (which is never a bad thing), that’s awesome too! If you just want to read and role play that’s your choice! Respect choices and people’s pleasure!

Just do what makes you happy and enjoy your kinks (law abiding and not being a trash can of a human of course), whatever they may be. My blog and I are here to support you.

Also, I now have a video baking date and a new friend 😍😍😍

* I edited this post for clarity because I wrote it while angry and my mind moves 100 miles a minute when I’m mad

#writer answers #writer speaks #real talk for a minute

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stillebesat · 3 years

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Christmas Eve (3/5)

Sanders Sides: Janus, Patton, Roman, Virgil Pairings: Past Roceit (was toxic), Familial Moceit (Dad Janus, Son Patton) Blurb: Of all the barriers that Janus expected to have to overcome in order to get his son a pet for Christmas, encountering his Ex, Roman, working in the pet store had never once crossed his mind. Fic Type: Christmas!Eve Fic, Past Lovers to Enemies to ??? trope, Dad!Janus, Kid!Patton, MythicalMin!AU, Frogmin!AU Overall Fic Warnings: Past Toxic Relationship Talk, Manipulation/Lying Talk Taglist in Reblog To Catch Up: Part 1 Part 2

He supposed it was the shock of Roman actually helping him that allowed his Ex to drag him halfway through the store before Janus remembered he didn’t have to be complacent in this.

“Seriously.” He rasped, jerking his arm, finding it difficult to focus on anything more than the burning grip of Roman’s hand around his wrist. “You don’t have to do this.”

It sounded so flimsy soo--so trite. So insincere. Even to his own ears. Roman had to be dissecting his words and tone even now, searching for the trick--the manipulation he had used as easily as a fish breathed water all throughout his--well his entire life, even if Roman had only experienced it first hand for a couple of years during college.

With that sort of bad history between them...of all the possibilities that had flashed through his mind when he and Roman had made eye contact...having him actually help them had never--well it had--briefly. Very very briefly. Crossed his mind. But it had been a fool’s hope. Not when their relationship had ended more explosively than the grand finale of a firework show.

“I--” He swallowed trying again as he adjusted Pattey’s weight on his hip. This wasn’t at all how he’d pictured them meeting again. He wasn’t ready for this. “We really can just leave. He’ll understand.” His son knew all too well about his history with the Prince even if it was just through bedtime stories. “You don’t have to--”

“Shut up, Dragon Witch.” Roman growled, tugging him around a corner. “I don’t want to either. But I’m not heartless.”

“You’re not.” He agreed. Roman was anything but that. He was good. He’d been the best thing that had happened to him before Patton came into his life, and Janus had taken advantage of that in the worst ways possible, using him and then tossing him away like so much trash without realizing what a treasure Roman actually was. “But you don’t have to force yourself on my--” Janus cut off as a small hand covered his mouth, his son’s bright eyes filled with excitement.

“Shh, Daddy.” He patted his lips. “You told me if a Prince offers to help you, you let him help! You don’t say no.”

Yes. But he hadn’t meant that to apply to himself! What he’d done--it could be considered unforgivable. No one should be treated how he’d treated Roman--or well, any of his former relationships. It had taken Patton’s birth to get him to...stop. To want to change. To be better.

Roman had the gall to smirk at him as he stopped in front of a display of cages, letting go of Janus’s wrist so he could fish out a set of keys from his pocket. “Correct, little man. It’s a Prince’s duty to help all those he encounters in distress….even if the fair damsel turns out to be a---.”

“Aaraog!” Patton piped up.

Roman froze, looking nonplussed at the nonsequir. “Aaraog?”

“You can’t trust them. They’re Evil.” Patton said solemnly before bouncing in Janus’s arms as he stared eagerly into the cages. “Daddy says that even though the Dragon Witch is a jerk, he still occasionally helps the Prince! And so they can’t be meanies to each other all the time like Aaraog sooo if the Prince can help the Dragon Witch then you, Prince--”

“Roman.” Janus said softly, the name feeling like he was tasting the forbidden fruit as it rolled off his tongue. He looked away as his Ex shot him a dark look. Yah...he didn’t think they were on first name terms anymore, hence why he only ever called the Prince...well Prince. But Pattey had been upset that the Dragon Witch always fought with the Prince and always lost...so he’d told a slightly different story from the usual, using a giant spider as the villain instead. It’d been... a kind of self wish of his. Where he hoped things would eventually...maybe...work out.

“Prince Roman! And my Daddy can be friends today too as you help!”

Ha. That would be the day. He wasn’t a fool enough to believe them rekindling any sort of...friendship...would ever actually happen. Even if he wanted a redo...he was pretty sure he’d burned that bridge and then buried the ashes in a pit a hundred feet deep back in college.

“I--I--don’t think he’s...uh...I’m sure the Dragon Witch can be...nice.” Roman said, rubbing the back of his neck.

And Janus was a platypus. “Liar.” He mumbled. Roman had only ever known his manipulative nice. Not his genuine niceness. How could he? Janus had only learned how to be so after Patton had said his first word. Years after everything had...ended between them.

“You’re one to talk.” Roman hissed.

“Yes and?”

Pattey looked between the two of them, before deciding that comforting his Dad was needed. His little hands squished Janus’s cheeks. “But Daddy isn’t a true Dragon Witch!” He said firmly, maintaining eye contact before he flashed his hundred watt smile, succeeding in melting Janus’s heart once again. “He’s the bestest Daddy in the whole world! Even if he doesn’t think so.”

Janus flushed. “Liar.” He repeated. He was sure there were plenty of other Dads who were far better than he could ever be.

“Truther!” Patton grinned. “The best best best BEST Daddy!!”

He shook his head as Roman scoffed, hoping his face wasn’t as red as a tomato--this awkward encounter was only going to get much worse if he didn’t hurry this up. Janus quickly set his son down, pushing him towards the cage his Ex had unlocked.

“Go pick one you like.” He encouraged, staying crouched to discourage Roman from talking to him even if it did mean his Ex would be hovering over him like the Sword of Damocles. It wasn’t ideal, but it would hopefully keep himself from saying something he would regret and get them kicked out before he could buy a Frogmin for his son.

After all, Roman had to only be helping him on Patton’s behalf. If his kid hadn’t been here he was sure his Ex would have taken one look at him and thrown him right back out, no questions asked. So the sooner they could get out of here the sooner they both could forget this whole encounter.

Not that Janus would be able to forget. Not when Pattey usually demanded a Prince story for bedtime.

“Oh!!!” Patton pressed his face against the glass where little multi-colored frog-like humans crouched among the branches inside the cage. “Look at them, Daddy!!! LOOK! FROGMINS!! They’re here! AWWWWWW. Look at their cute little spots!!”

Janus let out a slow breath, the tension in his shoulders easing. Finally. After fifteen stores he could finally make good on his promise to his son.

“Careful. You don’t want to scare them.” Roman said, also kneeling down, keeping Pattey between them as he pointed to the half dozen Frogmins inside. “While they have frog characteristics, it’s easier to think of them as mini people. And some of them can get really scared when a giant face suddenly appears in front of them.”

His son’s eyes went wide. “Noooo. I don’t wanna scare them!” Pattey leaned back, wrapping his arms around himself as he twisted back and forth. “They’re just sooo cool! And so Princely! Cus if you kiss one they can turn large and save the day! Like the stories! But I want mine to remain small, so I’ll be very careful in my kisses. And they can hop and climb walls like--” Patton made a face and Janus had to bite back a smile at his son’s reluctance to say Spiderman. “Like superheros!! And they eat bugs! Like...like!!!....like….spiders.” He shivered. “I don’t like them.”

Roman tilted his head, amber eyes flashing with understanding. “So you’re looking for a Frogmin to protect you from spiders?”

Pattey nodded hard enough he looked like a bobble head. “He’ll keep me safe while I sleep!”

Roman chuckled. “A good reason to get a Frogmin. Though not all of them like to eat spiders. Just like some little boys don’t like to eat their vegetables.”

His son grimaced. “But carrots are icky!!”

“And some Frogmins think spiders are icky too.” He said gently, opening a small hatch in the side of the cage where three of the Frogmins had already gathered. “While you can just pick one that you like the look of...you could also come over here and hold out your hands--don’t reach in, but hold out your hands and ask them if any of them would like to come live with you and eat spiders...or well, like to have them as a treat as I’m sure you don’t want to feed them dried ones.” He glanced over to Janus as he spoke.

Ha. No. While he did have some dried spiders waiting at home, there was no way he’d pull out any of the creatures...even dead ones...where his son could see. One meltdown at the first pet store had been enough to convince him why having his Lilypatton see spiders--dead or alive--was a bad idea.

Janus let out a slow breath as Pattey eagerly moved closer, his small hands held out to the opening.

“Do you guys like to eat spiders?” He whisper-shouted to the group. “If you do, we have plenty of them at home and I really really REALLY want you to eat ALL of them. Please? Pleeeease.”

And now Roman was going to think they lived in a haunted house or something. Really, it was more of an issue of all the spiders in their backyard instead of inside.

Janus shook his head, holding up a hand. “I have a variety of other dried insects to choose from at home if the one Pattey picks doesn’t like spiders.” He said, glancing at his Ex before turning his attention back to the cage, watching as more Frogmins crept out of the leaves towards his son.

Sure, he knew that Pattey wanted the Frogmin mostly for their ability to eat spiders--and their connection to Princes--but he wasn’t a fool to expect that to be the only food source.

Though knowing his luck, whichever one his son picked would be extremely picky and want to eat only the most expensive of the bugs.

Roman raised an eyebrow. “You already have everything else as well? The cage?”

Janus rolled his eyes. Nooo he’d just spent months preparing and all day searching for a Frogmin and totally forgot about getting the creature a home to live in. “Yes.”

Roman pursed his lips, an obvious indication that he didn’t like the answer and stood, tilting his head down the aisle to where a variety of cages sat on the shelves. “Show me.”

To Be Continued. Part 4

#Christmas Eve #stillebesat #Sanders Sides #Janus #Roman #Patton #Deceit #Creativity #Morality #Familial Moceit #Dad!Janus #Child!Patton #Past Toxic Relationship talk tw #Manipulation talk tw #Lying talk tw #Frogmin!AU #MythicalMin!AU #PetStore!AU

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everythingblreview · 3 years

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Slow Damage review 2.0 Part 1

It’s 16 pages actually

Hello I’m back and instead of actually writing a new review of a game, or playing a new game that’s a lie I’m playing more than one VN at the same time right now. I’ve been thinking a lot about slow damage lately and wanted to write my full thoughts/analysis on it. For this occasion, I replayed the game. This will be full of spoiler of everything in the game as well as the spoiler of the short story.

Disclaimer: This is MY opinion, I’m not wanting to start a discussion, this is just how I experienced the game. Not everything here will be in a positive light and I don’t hold back from criticize what I didn’t like. This is a fictional game so please don’t attack me. But if you are fine with me babbling 16 pages about the game, you can go ahead. Important to note: Towa is my favourite character, so my thought on the routes are all Towa centered

(I probaly forgot some stuff but please excuse the game is really long)

I will start from the unlocked route and work toward the true route. Starting with Taku~

Taku

After replaying Taku’s route I noticed some differences to my first time playing.

First his route was my second favourite in the game the first time I played it, but replaying it, it was not really interesting anymore. His story is all about him developing drugs for Toono because of his deb he made so he could study to become a doctor, but if you know already about this part there is nothing else to really investigate. His backstory with his mother is ok, he feels guilty for stuff he done in his route but that’s all there is, when you already know the secret Taku is hiding, there is not much left, that’s why is lacks something if you replay it.

The second thing is his relationship with Towa, before I talk about the problem, I personally have with it I will talk about the things I did like: Taku already was protective of Towa since he was a child, and his feeling developed into more later on, from what Taku said we can assume his feelings turned into “like” after the incident with Asakura. Towa feeling to Taku developed during the time they spent together when they were both locked in the building. Taku was someone he always felt save with, back in his horrible childhood when no one was there for him, only Taku(it was probably the only time he could get away from his crazy mother), and after the fear of losing Taku he noticed he has deeper feelings for him (at this point we can’t say that is romantic love because Towa doesn’t understand this feeling, but Taku is special for him it’s canon don’t attack me). The development part of their feelings was nice and felt pretty realistic. Secondly, I like how they dealt with Taku falling for a guy. Taku said he wasn’t interested in the same gender from the beginning, but he didn’t say stuff like “I’m not gay, I’m straight” or something like that. He just said he is not experienced with it, and he didn’t just go for it after Towa “attacked” him and was still unsure at this point, and only later when he was sure he had romantic felling he went for it, which was quite nice. Now to for the things that I can’t get over and ruin the relationship for me. First, from the true route we learn that Taku has been lying about Towa past the whole time, (telling him his mother was a great woman) so this relationship is already based on a lie. Towa mother was not a great woman like Taku tells, she is the whole reason Towa has suffered his whole life, and while Taku may not know the everything, he knows what Towa went through but still he keeps his mouth close. There is a scene after the confession scene, where Taku wanted to say something (probably about his past) after they talked about his mother, but decides not to even after Towa asked him about it. In the end after he gets released from prison Towa asked him again and he acts like he has no idea what he is talking about and just says something else. And this brings me to the thing that annoys me the most: How Taku deals with Towa’s mental health problems, or to say it simple, he just doesn’t. The first thing I noticed when I replayed it, Taku is acting like he doesn’t know about it, even though he does. Always saying how Towa behaviour (about him drinking, smoking and sleeping with guys) “was always like this” and saying that “your heart is still dead”. Taku you know exactly how horrible his past is how can you say such stuff??? He always tells Towa how he should stop doing it, but he doesn’t think about doing something to prevent it. I know that he is worried about him but the only thing he deals with are Towas wounds. His wounds may heal but his heart doesn’t if you keep putting only bandages on him Taku. He is really bad at dealing with mental problems, his way to get over it is just not to talk about, in the hope it will go away at some point but in Towa’s case it won’t ever go away, it is destroying him slowly from the inside.

He is also overprotective of Towa in a bad way, putting a chip in Towa after getting rid of Asakuras shitty DIY wings and even going as far as TRYING TO KILL Towa and I though Rei will be the yandere after Tonno tells him he won’t let Towa go after both of the get kidnapped by Toono. I understand that he wants to protect Towa and it is indeed dangerous to let Towa do what he wants because he doesn’t care for himself, but Towa need some kind of freedom, he is not stupid. He acts like Towa is his thing and I didn’t like this part. And the last thing, that left me in a uncomfortable feeling is in the very end he says Towa causes to many problem that why you should not leave him alone, but the goal would actually be to heal Towa to a point, where he does not need help anymore but we never get to it here sadly. (and please stop with the housewife Towa look in the end it hurts my eyes)

I also don’t like the age gap of 20 years in the relationship, because I cant deal with the thought of one person dying way before and leaving the other person behind but that’s a me problem.

The first time I was not sure what to think about Taku’s route but after knowing all this stuff and replaying the route, I just can’t like this pairing sorry.

All the things above are only about Taku and Towa’s relationship, I do like Taku as a person and I enjoyed that he is like a father figure toward Towa and like a family for him. It’s really cute that he really cares for Rei too and treats him like a son better than Rei’s trash father ever could like they are a small family.

Rei

From beginning we get to know Rei as Towa’s and Taku’s best friend, who speaks like a woman and acts a little like it, we also learn that he enjoys fighting and participate in deathmatches. His route is about his struggle with the deb his father (who is a piece of trash) has and his own gender. From the second chapter we learn that Rei is a pure soul, he is a good boy that does not see the bad in human. (Compared to Towa who had a bad feeling from the start) and Rei tells us that in his past he was always mistaken for a girl.

The first time playing his route, the whole thing about his gender felt really sudden but after replaying his route, they were some hints that Rei does struggle with it. Like him telling about his past and him asking Towa what is “manly”. Rei doesn’t want his friends to get involved with his problems that’s why he tries to keep his distance, but Towa is someone he can feel at peace with. Rei’s gender struggle comes from the fact that his parents treat him as a girl when he was a child, it really messed him up because he starts thinking that he was a girl, but still got kicked out by his father after telling him he is gay. Rei hated his own gender even going as far as trying to cut off his… in front of Towa. But through his love for fighting, he realized that he wants to be a man, and after talking (and fighting for fun) with Towa he decides he will now live and act as a man.

Not gonna lie, I really like Rei for his feminine side, though I never thought of him as a woman and while it makes me a little sad that he doesn’t want to be like it, I can accept that he wants to be a man, because in the end the “fem Rei” was never real. He was forced into this feminine roll and that was not the real Rei. What I like about his character is that, while he has his love for violence, he is still a innocent and pure soul. He really cares for others and only wants his best for his friends. (He is also the person, who is looking for true love and doesn’t sleep with others for fun) Even though his father is a big shit he still wants to help his father so he doesn’t start working with child trafficking again. He knows Towa since middle school and was always interested in him, but romantically only after the whole thing with Mizuno, when Towa protected him.

What I really didn’t like the first time I played it is that, while you can really feel that Rei likes Towa, Towa doesn’t share the same strong attraction. It felt more like Towa just agreed to this relationship in the end, but replaying it, I noticed that Towa does care for him in his own way, the first time it’s difficult to say because you don’t understand Towa’s personality. Towa always agrees do help Rei if he asked him for something and he worries about him. The relationship of all the pairings starts at the end of the game so it’s always difficult to say how it works out, but Towa did have a pleasant feeling after Rei’s confession and after they slept together. I want to see more development on Towa’s side because compared to his feeling for Taku in his route it felt weaker with Rei (for me), hopefully they explore it in the drama cd.

While Rei does say some things like Taku to Towa (that I didn’t like) I can’t blame him for it because he doesn’t know Towa’s past.

Regarding Rei’s personality, I hope they don’t change to much about him, because it would be stupid to make a character and then change him after everyone already start liking him like the way he was. They changed his way of speaking (what you probably won’t notice if you don’t understand Japanese) which if fine, doesn’t bother me but if he will start saying stuff like “I can’t eat cake anymore because only woman do” …. Yeah please no. and he cut his beautiful long hair short noooo and it looks so bad please change it We have to wait and see how Rei’s change will affect him in the end, and I want to see how their relationship will develops especially on Towa’s side

Madarame

I wanted to replay everything, just to make sure I didn’t forget anything, but with Madarame’s route I just had to give um in the middle. The first time I played it I went through it without problems because I was expecting something from it, sadly it never happened, but this time it was just like playing a never-ending bad end, and I just felt so sad that I had to stop playing. And now I can confidently say, I hate everything about this route. And I did give this route a chance because I don’t like to go into a game thinking I won’t like character, I try my best to understand the story and characters, but it was no use here. I just don’t understand why such a route was needed to for a character like Towa. Knowing how much Towa was abused in the past and that he suffers from extreme mental trauma because of this makes everything worse, this route really brings out the worst of Towa’s mental health issues.

Starting from the beginning we learn that Towa and Madarame used to hang out together and Towa did feel good hanging out with him (they were not in a relationship and there were no romantic feelings which is confirmed). Towa tells us that this was in the past and that he is not this person anymore, also he tells us that he doesn’t like following orders and doesn’t like treatment from Madarame, that’s why dealing with him is hard and after understanding this himself, he wanted to keep his distance. Of course this is not in Madarame’s favour, he want his “pet” all to himself (He even said Towa need an “owner”).So he kidnaps him and tries to break Towa, to let him remember how he used to be. For this he uses violence and treats Towa like shit. We know that he knows about Towa’s abuse in his childhood and still he uses the same horrible methods as Towa’s mother did, taking away his freedom and chaining him to a place, keeping him in silence which he hates. Raping him (of course Towa let it happen because he is used to it) and slowly breaking his mind so Towa starts thinking he needs Madarame. When Towa says something against him, he got angry or just straight up beats him. Towa has no freedom in this “relationship” it only goes the way Mada want it. There is no communication it’s just a typical “alpha male” top and controlled bottom dynamic between them. It was so sad seeing how Towa went against his friends after he spent some time under Madarame’s influence.

In the beginning Towa is so desperate that he would rather die than to be with Madarame, and I don’t know why we have to think this is “romantic” or some shit like that? Its funny how they tried to include them acting like a couple in the second half of the route. Like Madarame said Towa doesn’t need a collar anymore, sure because he is now manipulated into thinking he need Madarame. I will never forgive him for the emotional and physical abuse he let Towa go through in the beginning.

Madarame himself just feels like he is not even human, this guy has no feeling and his feeling for Towa are like a feeling you have for your pet (or better to say animal? Because you would treat your pet better) and he treats him like a pet. (I’m really not a fan of the whole “your mine” “you belong to me” thinking, human are not objects, just because you decide to be with someone doesn’t mean you are their property) I understand they wanted to go for the “he lives in the present not the past and he is honest and doesn’t lie” thing but it made him feel like he has no feeling at all. Showing that he likes cats made no sense to me, because what’s the point if he treats a cat better than Towa? Did they try to make him look like he has a loveable side? Because it sure didn’t feel like it for me. Trying to make abuse ok by showing that this guy likes animals in that case it’s totally ok …yeah sure not.

He really did everything to manipulate Towa into thinking that he needs to be on “this side”, the side that always abused him, by slowly breaking Towa. Towa himself has no understanding for right or wrong, he just does what he thinks is right for him in this moment, that’s how his brain works.

Madarame says he and Towa are the same because both want violence, but I can only disagree, they couldn’t be any different Towa’s love for violence is a reflection of his abuse as a child, something that was done to him and he now thinks he needs, it’s something he does to try to cope with his trauma, his love for it is not real. While Mada on the other hand, likes it because who knows why it’s not like we ever get to learn anything about this guy because he never says anything. This guy wants nothing and is not interested in anything, I don’t get what I’m supposed to like here. The route ends with Towa and Madarame running away, leaving Towa life, his home and his friends that tried to protect him, to live their life on the streets fighting and enjoying violence, and for me this is the opposite of a good end, it’s just hurt knowing Towa is forever stuck in the circle of violence. (and blond hair really looks bad on him)

I played a lot of bl games and there is always abuse, rape and manipulation involved in almost every bl game, but this has to be the worst case of abuse I ever had to go through and this is coming from a person who likes Mink.

I may said a lot of negative stuff about Taku, but compared to Mada, Taku is an angel send from heaven Funny because Madarame says Taku is trash. The theme was to throw your past away and living in the present, but it felt more like let’s embrace the mental illness and violence.

(the only thing worth going through this hell one time is seeing Mayu, Kotarou and Towa in a suit, especially Towa looks very hot, boi)

The route had an interesting start, and they had a good backstory to write something good with all the stuff with Kaga and so one, but they did absolutely nothing with it and chose to make it about abuse, rape and manipulation, the easy way to force a “romance”(because there is no) into it, and in the year 2021 I expect just something better from it, consider how well the rest of the game is written. N+C really had to bring this rape abuse combination back, didn’t they? They got rid of some bl clichés and I’m thankful for it but we are only half through it, they still need time.

The route just felt extremely disappointing and made me feel horrible.

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itadoryryoken · 3 years

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pyramid head x soft reader

Some would describe it as an infinite ocean of flames and lava, where it’s eternally melting-hot, and a bunch of hooved, horned, tailed red demons torture you with acid, with their red pitch forks, or boil you alive in their cauldron for soup. Or maybe you just get tortured by Stalin, who knows?

But never would have anyone thought that ‘Hell’ could look so…Normal. Well, normal in a very demolished, desolate, ravished way, but still…Normal, by human standards. Albeit, the never-ending loop of madness, anguish, agony and desperation of getting killed in different gruesome ways or fleeing for their lives and feeling a myriad of emotions pumping adrenaline through their veins so badly that their anxiety-meter skyrocketed to abnormal levels.

All this darkness, this hatred, this…Everything…It changed all the survivors. They became selfish, stubborn, rude, some even went as far as to sacrifice their fellow survivors in trials, just so they could survive. It was a complete mayhem that defied all kinds of reason, normality, morality or even ethics. Everyone became devoid of any laws that used to bind them to their humane sides, and now, you weren’t sure if the killers were saner than the survivors or not.

But even in this abyss where you couldn’t even see your hand in front of your very eyes, there was a little star - A beautiful angel radiating brightness and warmth, someone who was somehow able to guide everyone’s straying souls with her benevolence.

In reality, she was merely a survivor, not the little lantern from an angler fish’s head, but she treated everyone with such an untainted kindness…It was beautiful, and yet, unrequited for most parts. Everyone was still putting their own lives above all - And who could condemn them? - Perhaps their cowardice, for the girl preferred to save her fellow survivors as much as possible, even if that oftentimes assured her place on the hook, to be a sacrificial lamb for the Entity.

On the other hand, she rarely ended up on the hook - Most killers prefer to kill her themselves, instead of letting her become pray for the horrible Entity who tortured so many of them for refusing to cooperate - The Trapper, Evan MacMillan - He knew the best, with those hooks digging into his flesh, impossible to extract. He was the first to protect this girl. It wasn’t much, but if he had to, he’d rather give her a swift, painless death, than seeing her without that serene, angelic smile on her face, as the Entity feeds on the last bits of her soul’s beauty, the last parts of her humanity.

The other Killers were confused at the Trapper’s actions, but little by little, they began to understand why this girl was so precious and special - And this domino effect hit Rin Yamaoka next, with Y/N stopping in the middle of a chase and taking off her jacket, just as Rin was about to butcher her with her katana, and she smiled, extending it to her. 'You must be cold’ she said, realising that the Spirit was merely wearing a few bandages, not even her school uniform, or her kimono.

The ghost girl was shaken up by this, and told the others at the killer camp, but they just shrugged it off - Rin was a little girl who faced close to no kindness, they weren’t surprised she was so taken aback by such a feat. That is, until Adiris, in a particularly terrible day, when everyone at the camp was staying away from her, as her profane censer wasn’t able to cover the stench of rotting flesh - Y/N came over, taking out a small yet elegant glass bottle with pink liquid on it, spraying some on her - And now, The Plague smelled of roses and vanilla - 'You can come to me for perfume whenever you want, I always carry some with me!’ she grinned at the Babylonian High Priestess, before leaving back to the survivor’s camp site, leaving the ancient God symbol to stare with her mouth agape at the girl.

These words began to spread, and it was no surprise when the killers saw Susie clinging and begging her Legion friends to spare Y/N, for she was there to hug away her worries more than once, to tell her sweet words, to play with her hair and play the guitar whatever songs she wanted to hear, to get reminded of her home - She was so home sick that she freaked out, but now she was better, thanks to Y/N - 'I know you miss home, but sometimes, home is where your best friends are, and all three of them are here!’she tried to encourage the cute pink-haired girl who could only squeal and hug her new friend.

Even Ghostface wasn’t exempt from falling to her charms, and they would often take silly selfies and mess around, making fun of the old horror movie tropes and doing lots of puns and pranks - So much that she even got his trust to be told about the Danny/Jed thing, and how he began his killer profession - 'You’re a very talented photographer, Danny! You deserved all that recognition you got, both as a journalist, and as a killer!’

And very soon, Y/N found herself in the crushing arms of an overprotective Anna, humming her mother’s lullaby together with walking through the forest, Y/N making flower crows for all the female killers at the camp site, and little by little, she somehow managed to worm her way under everyone’s skins.

Y/N was the survivor with the highest survivability percentage, and maybe the Entity sometimes got pissed off, but at least she still got killed sometimes, so who cares? Well, that was soon to change as soon as a new Killer was added to this sick game - Pyramid Head, the terror of Silent Hill, as Cheryl, the new Survivor, called him - or The Executioner, as he was known now. He was ruthless, merciless, grotesque - He had his own criteria of killing, his own moral compass, ethics, conscience and understanding of the concept of life and death. Nothing that could compare to the visions of humans, clearly - Everything was gravitating around Divine Retribution and Justice, but the from the outside, he was nothing but a killing machine.

He would kill everyone and anyone that crosses his path, without fail.

Y/N felt like her fortune ended completely the second she found herself in the new, overly cramped map, with Pyramid Head as the killer - She couldn’t help but run around like a spazzic meerkat, trying to find and fix as many generators as possible, without having to get face to face with the walking hazard…

Only to run past a stuck Pyramid Head.

Slowly backtracing her steps, she saw the mountain of a man with his metal pyramid stuck in the frames a low window which he tried to walk over. He was trashing like a raged bull trying to attack a matador, but it was clear he was getting nowhere with this.

“H-Hey, u-uhm…Need some help?” she asked in a soft, careful voice, almost like a meek cat trying to test the waters, but in return, he started groaning even louder from the wrath he wanted to unleash upon the whole world. “Okay, uhm…I think I saw a can of vaseline in one of the chests around. I’ll go fetch it and I’ll come back for you. Don’t move.” she said, only to then realise how horrible that sounded, considering the situation, and it only seemed to anger the killer. “…I’m sorry, ignore me, I’m an idiot.”she slapped herself pretty harshly before bolting out of there trying to find the chest.

However, Y/N cursed herself for not having perfectly memorised the whole map by heart already, since she found the vaseline can after the 3rd chest, and then, it took quite a while to find the bloody window that got the killer stuck - And by the time she got there, she was dead tired. “Okay, I’m here, I found the vaseline! Let’s try to get you out of here.” Y/N muttered as she put her feet on the low window pane to get to his level. “If it’s not too much trouble, could you please hold onto me? I can’t balance myself with both hands occupied, and I’d rather not fall.” she explained as she opened the vaseline can, only to shiver as she felt two big, strong hands getting a firm grip on her hips. It was almost…Endearing, were she not too busy trying to get the killer unstuck. She kept massaging the metal edge, trying to push and pull, also praying to whatever deity that existed in her human world that she had her tetanus shot done on time - Until finally, she was able to get hear a loud screech, like a pop, and the killer got unstuck, and in the process, he stumbled backwards, while Y/N fell down on her butt.

“Ouchie…” she muttered, rubbing her back and sides to take away the pain surging through her body. “Are you okay?” she asked, almost intuitively, without realising it at first, until she heart a low grunt that brought her back to reality. “O-Oh…! You have glass shards stuck in your side! And you’re bleeding too! Hold up, let me help.” she hurried to his side, while the killer merely stiffened, feeling her delicate, slender fingers tracing his body, while he heaved and slouched his shoulders from the repressed wrath. “It may sting a bit, and I’m really sorry, but I promise it will be better soon.” her voice was so motherly and warm, which also resonated in her actions, as she gingerly took a water bottle and imbued some tissues with it, to wipe away the blood smearing down his skin as she extracted the glass shards, and then…“This is grandma’s marigold ointment. It’s really good, and it smells nice.” she explained as she carefully smeared a thick layer of the yellow ointment on the biggest wounds, while the little ones were covered by smiley-flower patterned plasters. They were cute, and colourful, and they never failed to make her smile. “Okay, there we go, all better! I hope you’ll feel better very soon!” her voice got a tiny bit more cheerful and upbeat.

It made the Killer think about a trillion things, as he stepped in front of her, towering over her like the Empire states building next to a smiling pomeranian. What was with this girl? Why did she help a killer? And why did he feel so…Warm inside? He could sense a foreign kind of luminosity, a naivite and innocence that he only witnessed in children and animals. This woman in front of him was untainted by the darkness and evil of the world.

It didn’t matter how many hardships she’s been through, or how much sadness she had to endure - Her soul remained as pure as any snowdrop, as the first snow of winter, as the fleece of a baby lamb who let out its first 'meeeeh’ to its mamma sheep.

He couldn’t allow this human to be maimed in any way - Not by the world, not by the Entity, and certainly not by him. - Screw the Entity, Pyramind Head kills by his own rules, and now, he was blessed to be faced with a human who bore no real hatred for her peers, or for the world, despite the horrible situation she was thrown into.

He didn’t understand, obviously, especially as he remembered the myriad of abominations that lurked through Silent Hill, all of them created by the torment of humans - The very torment that distorted their own reality, which resulted in him needing to solve the purpose as The Executioner - Eradicating the world of all evil.

“Th-This sword is so heavy…H-How can you carry this around like that…?! Your muscles must be so strained and sore…Y-You really need a massage, I’m sure.” she stuttered as she tried to lift the much taller and heavier sword from the ground, only for the brute to simply bend and pick it up with extreme ease, putting the girl to shame with her complete lack of strength. “Hehe…You’re really strong. I’m embarrassed now.” she chuckled softly, scratching the back of her neck.

Before she could leave or do anything else, Pyramid Head picked her up by the throat, careful not to hurt her or restrict her air intake - I mean, how else was he supposed to carry her so he wouldn’t hurt her with his metal head or sword? - and it was pretty clear she didn’t feel any malevolence from him, as she clinged on his forearm, trying to keep herself up, only to be dumped on top of the hatch, as the killer pointed towards it, so she would leave.

“O-Oh…! Thank you so much! You’re really kind! I really appreciate this…I-I know it probably doesn’t matter much to you, since you’ll be doing this over and over again with all the survivors…But I really appreciate you for your kind gesture, and I appreciate you for being so nice with me. Thank you. Take care!” her dazzling smile lit the whole place up, but he couldn’t talk, nor could he tell her how he should be the one thanking her for showing him that, despite the hundreds and thousands of years he had to roam the 'Earth’ and execute the injust, miracles still existed.

As soon as she reached the survivor’s camp, everyone cheered for her, asking how in the world could she have escaped the wrath of the butcher. “Oh, but he wasn’t that bad. In fact, he’s much more humane than I anticipated! I think he has a beautiful, blooming heart!” okay, she’s lost it - the other survivors thought - but even so, she’s always been a bit…Out of it, so who cares?

It took quite a while for the other three survivors to reach the camp, all bloody, in fact, like the new killer, who dragged himself with the same menace to the Killers’ camp. “How the hell did you manage to survive?!” they yelled at her in utter shock, seeing that she got out of there unscratched. “Oh, you see…I found the hatch.” she shrugged simply, not wanting to give away that the person who massacred those three was a soft one and he basically threw her down the hatch to her safety.

As she took a twig to roast a marshmallows, she noticed how Pyramid Head was standing much farther away from the rest of the killers - She knew that silent killers were bound to stay away from the more obnoxious one, remembering how Michael Myers almost killed Ghostface and The Legion at least a dozen times - But this time…He seemed kinda…Lonely? So Y/N took the matters into her own hands, roasted another marshmallow in another twig, and when it was done, she went to the killer’s camp, calling out the lonely one’s name - She has no idea why, but he actually followed her, pushing her further deep into the forest, until he was sure nobody was going to hear, see or interrupt them…

“Hey. You seemed pretty lonely out there…I thought you could use a friend. Thank you again for what you did at the trial…Here, this is a marshmallow. I don’t think you’ve had many before…Cheryl told me of that horrible place you had to live in…So I hope this will make your day a bit better!” Y/N extended one of her hands towards him, so he could take the marshmallow - And a long, black tongue erupted from underneath the pyramid, snatching away the fluffy marshmallow and gulping it in one go.

What the hell was he turning into?

A towering man built of pure muscle, wrath and divine justice, with a pyramid representing the evil of humanity burdening his body, and a sword taller and heavier than the average human being constantly dragged in one of his hand…He now was a slave to a cute, innocent girl who was putting flower plasters on his minuscule wounds that would heal in a heartbeat regardless - He saved this girl who was now offering his these soft, squishy things that tasted overly sugarly, just like her upbeat and cheerful personality - If he could eat her, he was sure she would taste even sweeter than this - A sickish kind of sweet, that is.

She was indeed a beautiful angel in this tragic hell. But he didn’t wait to snatch the second marshmallow either.

“Ah…! You liked it, didn’t you? Well…Next time, I promise I’ll give you more!” she grinned at him the same way a princess would to her chivalrous knight who saved her. The since he couldn’t talk, silence took over them - It wasn’t an uncomfortable one, per se, but it made it feel as if the conversation was over. “W-Well…I’ll guess I’ll see you around! Take care and I hope to see you again soon!” she waved cutely, trying to turn around back to her camp, only to feel a rough hand on her shoulder, turning her around and urging her to stop and wait for him and he went deep into the forest, leaving her alone and undefended by the potential malevolent forces of the forest.

When he returned, however, he stepped right in front of her, creating the perfect shade as he towered over her - Then he kneeled in front of her, so he would reach her eye sight, then he tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and put a beautiful pink flower - As pink as the blush that started creeping on her face - He wanted to see her luminous face better, to highlight her dazzling smile and her glimmering eyes as the warm, silver light of the mother moon caressed her face.

Y/N felt her heart picking up the pace - It was beating so much faster than ever before - But this time, it wasn’t out of fear or anything negative…It was something good. Something she never felt in her life, especially with her human acquaintances from back home. None was as chivalrous and gentle with her as this butcher of tormented souls - The bringer of justice, the merciless Executioner who was supposed to end the life of every living being that would cross his path.

It was insane how every Yin finds its Yang, even if that comes in the form of a little lamb of a small, frail girl, and a huge abomination of a brute man who knows nothing but death, bloodshed and carnage. It was truly crazy how opposites attract, and here she was, holding the killers large hands and gingerly putting them on her face, leaning into his touch - She felt safer now than ever in her life - Now, in the arms of an ancient killer.

An Angel and A Demon brought together in a perfect union.

As she leaned down, she touched the metal of the pyramid where she anticipated his forehead would be with her own forehead, and closing her eyes, she finally felt herself calming down. There was no need for words, actions spoke louder than anything, and she appreciated it…She appreciated him.

“Thank you.” she whispered to him, knowing that yes, even though nobody else would hear it anyway, it was much more intimate than anything she ever experienced.

She was hooked.

📷

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incorrectlumityquotes · 3 years

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FULL REVIEWS: “Lost In Language”

Lost in language and I don't know much. Was I thinking aloud and fell out of touch? But I'm back on my feet and eager to be what you wanted.

Seriously? Nothing? You guys have never heard Air Supply? I mean, they’re old AF but still. It’s a funny pun. Whatever.

Back in the day (like it was so long ago) I didn’t know what to expect from this episode. The only thing I caught from the description was library, but hoo boy, we got so much more!

I love the cold opens to this show. It always reminds me that Luz is a silly ass hyper fangirl who still wants life to play out like it does on TV.

“Learning about love and life through the eyes of a child.”

Spoken like a true person who have never done any actual babysitting. The Bat Queen gets her own soft intro for another episode, which I’m noticing more and more re-watching this show. She pays Eda to watch her baby in exchange for a butt-ton of money. Eda, in classic Eda fashion, would rather not split the cash with Luz and gives her an errand to run so she doesn’t have to do it.

I don’t know about you guys, but liked going to the library when I was a kid. It was the only way I could play computer games or go on the internet. Getting online is the easiest thing in the world today, but when I was a kid, it was a luxury my parents couldn’t afford. And dumb-dumb kid me didn’t know that you can borrow movies and comic for free at the library too. That’s how I saw Jaws for the first time.

The library at The Boiling Isles is almost exactly what I expected. Kinda like the Hogwarts library, but with a lot more teeth and eyes everywhere. Luz has a bunch of fun just messing around, until she stumbles upon the cutest goddamn thing ever!

Amity reading to kids at the public library in her free time. My god.

I’m with Luz here. Holy hell, I did not see that coming. I thought Amity was the rival character, the Draco Malfoy of the show, the reluctant ally, the jerk with the heart of gold DEEP in there somewhere. Instead she’s at the Kid’s Corner reading her favorite childhood classic to toddlers. I didn’t know there were angels in the demon realm.

Stop. Stop! You’re already cute.

Seriously this moment made me go “aw” and laugh at the same time. It was weird. Also how does this library have a manga section? Do they import these books from JAPAN in the HUMAN REALM? Is there a publishing company that acts as the middleman? Or are these just the books that the trash slugs ended up barfing on the beach somewhere? I’m thinking too hard about a throwaway joke in the background. Big brain hurt.

AND back to reality...

Luz tries to extend the hand of friendship to Amity and Amity rejects it. I have...thoughts.

First, they this up with another parallel to Azura in the beginning of the episode. I get it. It’s a theme that they are doing, but I would have rather have Luz try to befriend Amity because she wants to, not because Azura did it. It’s not the only reason she does it, but it does kinda bug me a bit. It kinda goes back to Luz wanting life to play out like a story.

Also, a part of me thinks that this is something Amity likes to do alone. Her way of getting away from everyone else and just do something that she enjoys and makes her feel good. We have no proof that it gives her extra credit, so she could just use that as a way to save face. She seemed so happy to do it too.

Finally, you know what this else this reminds me of? The Karate Kid and Cobra Kai. There’s a popular fan theory that has been around since the eighties that if you look at The Karate Kid from the rival’s perspective, the protagonist is the bully. I’m more than sure that’s what going on here. From Amity’s perspective, Luz just gets her into trouble. We’ll get more into that later.

Luz walks off dejected and we get the second big surprise to punch me in the face.

Holy hell, why the fuck are you two so goddamn fucking pretty? I mean, holy shit, look at these two. My god. And ERICA LINDBECK as Emira? Jesus Christ, I’m going to be feeling things I shouldn’t be feeling in places I can’t say!

Joking aside, we get one of our first full introductions that didn’t come with a soft intro from a previous episode. Enter Emira and Emira, Amity’s older siblings who in true sibling fashion like to give Amity a hard time.

“Hey, mittens!”

This seems normal at first. Siblings always rib each other. No big deal.

Amity storms off. The twins introduce themselves proper to Luz (and the audience) and they mess around for a bit.

In fact, they have so much fun messing around with Luz that they decide to invite her back afterhours to check out The Wailing Star. Luz thinks that this is a great way to get on Amity’s good side by befriending her siblings. Why she would think this I have no idea.

Meanwhile the B-plot continues its adventures in babysitting. I don’t like using the word filler (so I won’t) but this B-plot is really just for two things: setting up Escape of the Palisman and jokes. It does both. No harm, no foul.

Also the twins said for Luz to meet back at midnight and Luz was at The Owl House for like a hot second. There’s like a huge gap of time there. What did she do until midnight? Whatever. If it was important it would have been animated.

Also also, I love all of Luz’s little saying in this episode. She does it a lot but they cranked it up in this episode. Featuring great hits like:

“This sour lemon drop has a hidden sweet center.”

and

“I thought we were as cool as cucumbers but we’re as sour as pickles.”

and my favorite

“Call me a library book because they were checking me out.”

I hope they keep doing that.

Back at the literal Wailing Star (I laughed so hard), The twins and Luz discover that The Wailing Star brings the content of the books to life. Does that work for all books in The Boiling Isles or just the library? Enough. No more big brain. The three proceed to...mess around some more.

The twins discover offscreen (Really? Really.) that if you edit the contents of the book, you change what comes to life. Then the twins reveal their true objectives. Apparently, Amity has been tattling on the twins whenever they cut class or do whatever it is that they want. They’ve decided to look for her secret little hideaway (that they somehow know is in the library), find her diary and post all the pages all over school to teach her a lesson.

Um, fucking no.

And here we enter the true lesson of this episode and probably the reason why Hecate is draw with two faces. People being more than just what they appear to be at face value.

Amity appears to be the bully character of the show, and while she did bully Willow, Luz and King, there’s more to her than that. Amity is lonely. As a fellow person who grew up lonely, trust me. I can tell from a mile away. She puts pressure on herself to be the best at whatever she’s doing and to be the best. She hates that she follows the rules but people like her siblings seem to get rewarded for breaking the rules and doing whatever they want free of consequence. She sees the double standard that they live by and it angers her. But at the same time, everyone seems to give the twins a free pass so she can’t do anything about it.

Even worse, there’s no one for her to confide in. It wouldn’t make it better but it would make it easier for her to just vent and get the bullshit out of her brain. She doesn’t like her friends and the one friend she did like...that’s for another episode. Hence, the diary. Amity is a big ball of frustration and loneliness. I know because I grew up in a very similar way.

When you’re forced to keep your anger inside you, you lash out at any little thing that bothers you just to ease your frustrations. It doesn’t make it okay but it’s the only way to cope sometimes just to get by.

The twins on the other hand seem like everything you’d want in a friend. They’re fun; they like you; they’re attractive; they’re attentive. But in reality, they live in a world where they believe consequences and accountability don’t apply to them. And they’ll do anything to keep it that way. Even humiliate their sister.

Luz seems like a happy-go-lucky, friends to all things kinda person, but she can also be innocently insensitive. She just does things hoping they turn out the way they would for Azura without considering how the people around her would feel about it.

It doesn’t make any of these characters two-faced. We just are different things to different people.

Amity discovers what’s going down and Luz (being the empathic person that she is) decide to try to go talk to her.

Then I’m reminded that this is a horror-comedy.

My god, you’re ugly.

One climax later (don’t laugh), and Luz and Amity try to make amends with each other. They both have to think about how they’ve been treating the other, earning the title of bully or not. They’re not friends yet but this is...better.

FINAL SCORE: 5 - Loved it.

Damn, The Owl House is one a roll. That’s what? Three 5 scored episodes already? Hot damn. This episode was fun but it really hit hard with the character work on Amity. She quickly became one of the most interesting characters and a fan favorite. And the third act provided a good amount of horror to call this a horror comedy. The B-plot is fine but probably one of the weakest only saved by several funny jokes. This is one of those episodes I kept coming back to and a favorite to watch.

Could you two please not? I’m gonna get in trouble.

#the owl house #my works #full review #full reviews

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earendilslight · 3 years

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Soooo, I've been simping Thresh since 2014 and now I finally can be open about my love for him because of the cinematic, and since I'm about to apply for the C1 Cambridge certification and I'm in desperate need to practice my writing, it's a perfect time to write fanfics with Thresh 💖

It's just a very little text, maybe, if it gets enough love I'll turn it into an actual fanfiction. But in the mean time, enjoy!

Also, if you happen to notice any mistake let me know!

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He came out of the shadows, where the dim light could reveal his features. It was a tall man, with long dark hair, dressed all in black, from the elegantly fixed necktie to the long-leathered trench coat that covered him down to the knees, a common attire used by the upper classes in Noxus. His face was slim, almost as the shape of the tip of a spear, with sharp cheekbones and a mouth that looked incredibly flexible as he smiled pettily at me. But it was not his smile that shocked me, no, it was his eyes. Eyes that shone like green, supernatural flames, like something evil lingered behind his mortal appearance.

The gaze of the monster in my nightmares. It was the same eyes that had terrified me for as long as I could remember, and now they were there, in the form of a devilman who smiled at me with cruel intentions. I suppressed a gasp, with trembling fingers, grasping at my robe while taking a step back.

I was petrified. How was I supposed to know this was the creature I pretended to make a deal with? I wonder If I would've been so bold to come here if I had known.

"Having second thoughts, miss?" he asked. His voice was deep, dark. The whisper of a phantom "You are indeed right to be frightened. Your soul would be in constant agony, roaming forever inside the lantern. Your friend made a choice, a very foolish one, I must say, and now he must pay the price of his own naive decisions. There is no point in wasting your life as a prisoner nor I'd like to carry a soul like yours."

"A soul like mine?" I said, trying to sound confident, but I could barely utter any words without stuttering.

"Do you wish to spend eternity in the lantern?" he asked, ignoring my question.

"No!" I replied almost immediately, without hesitation. The man looked pleased, even though there was barely a change in his expression.

"Then leave this place at once." He turned around,walking back to the inside of the house.

I realized how much of a mistake I'd made almost too late. I had been so scared that I was about to bail my plan and abandon Charles to his fate. I would never see him again, it didn't matter what choice I made. The only difference would be that, if I could convince that man to take me instead of him, Charles could be free and we could actually find a way to release myself and every other soul trapped in there. He, from outside, while I researched closely to the monster. And even so, I was shaking. Until that point, I hadn't considered the whole implications of being at the services of this devil, and the possibility of dying or, in the worst case scenario, spending the entire eternity in agony, was terrifying. But, hadn't Charles made sacrifices for me too? He was the only family I had left. The thought of my little brother suffering forever was unbearable, wasn't I supposed to be the one to protect him?

I couldn't abandon him like this...

"Wait!" I cried, so hard that it echoed across the entire yard and inside the manor. The man stopped at the door, turning slowly, first his head, then his whole body, now barely a silhouette in the dim light, staring at me without moving a muscle. I had my hand extended towards him, like trying to reach for his own, and I realized he was observing my gesture.

"Maybe... I could be of use outside the lantern..." I muttered, not even sure of what I was saying. He chuckled, almost amused with my comment. It was a muffled sound, not even a laugh.

"How come?" He asked with curiosity. Now I had his attention. It might have been a ridiculous thought, but I was starting to believe it could work.

"You're new to Noxus, sire" I said, straightening my back with an almost futile intention to appear confident. "People here talk a lot. In fact, most of them are already wondering who this mysterious visitor is. Where did he come from? What does he want? Noxus it's not a place who treats kindly it’s visitors, especially those who appear out of thin air and might be dangerous"

"Oh, I assure you, miss, I do not fret a bunch of drunken peasants who might try to trespass. Believe me, they are right to consider me a treat".

"I also consider you someone with a plan" I replied rapidly, getting to keep his eyes on me, and now, he seemed kind of... surprised "You don't strike me as a man who just wanders around this city in search for souls to torture. I believe you are here for a reason..."

He turned completely around, with an annoyed expression in his sharp face. As if I were a ridiculous fly trying to explain to a deadly spider how to seam its web.

"Your reasons are unknown to me" I continued "but I do know that once the people of Noxus begin to suspect you, Gods forbid, those who roam in the shadows, you would be the target of much more dangerous creatures than just drunken peasants."

It was true, actually. Unfortunately, Noxus was a city where you could disappear while walking back home just for people to find your dead body around the market the next morning and no one would bat an eye for you. Not to mention the multiple cults that made human sacrifices to the forgotten deities, besides robbers, assassins, rapists, the spirits that still roamed the streets late at night. Not to mention people had seen members of the Black Rose being more active than before. If this man was careless enough, some of them would notice, sooner or later, that there wasn’t something right with him.

"And what does this have anything to do with the liberation of your dearest brother from the lantern? And with you not taking his place inside of it?"

"I can be of good use outside the lantern, like I said"

Oh, dear God, what was I doing?

"If you let him go, I will be at your service, sire. You can keep me alive, not... dead and I can do anything that implies going outside the manor. People would suspect much less if they see actual movement in the mansion. It's not weird for a lord to have people at his services, even if it's just one harmless housekeeper..."

He seemed… intrigued by my proposal. I could tell he was analyzing every word that came out of my mouth, trying to find a deeper meaning or maybe ulterior motives behind my desires. Keen eyes watching my every move and reaction, almost as piercing through the flesh, into the darkest parts of my soul.

"Imagine I agree to your proposition” he speculated “What makes you think I would just let you go outside as you please?" he started walking towards me. There was this dreadful air around him that made my skin crawl. Like my heart was sinking down my throat and my blood froze little by little in my veins, with every step he took down in my direction.

The glowing, flame-like eyes coming closer, slowly, like the inevitable march of time and death, until the man stood there, five meters away from me, and I could smell the scent of his clothing, carried by the wind. Incense and the sea. Not the dry wood and dust of the hills of Noxus, but a fragrance I almost had forgotten, the one I smelled when I was a child, in a ship...

"I'm pretty sure you have ways to keep me bound to this place" I said, without escaping his glaring and hiding under my robe my shaking hands, while he studied me like a specimen he was about to dissect. "I do not doubt you could trap my brother again, and me, if I betray you. Or to even kill me, if it comes that way"

Maybe he was amused by my daring, maybe he was surprised at how much of a imbecile I was. Either way, he didn't utter a sound. The wind started to blow, much more cold than before, a voice that sang between the trees and the grass, moving the branches of the cypresses and the oaks as if they were to start dancing with the breeze, dragging with it heavy, grey-colored clouds announcing the impending storm.

“Do you wish so much to become a prisoner?” the man asked once more. The surrounding darkness of the clouds made his eyes brighter, like wildfire in the middle of the sea, blurred by the mist of the bay. “To never set a food without being watched? To know the true depths of the despair that brings with it the lack of freedom?”

I smiled, softly. Even when his face showed no change, I could tell he was, at least, studious to my reactions. I believe he was expecting me to be frightened by this, or to a certain degree intensely disturbed. For better or worse, life hadn’t treated me kindly. Since I was ten years old I had been at the service of people who considered me little more than trash and a burden, the next master worse than the last. Ironical, isn’t it? Seemed life had prepared me to serve a monster.

“Sire, I have served my whole life as a prisoner. From one Master to another, I’ve been tied to Bilgewaters my entire life” I admitted, looking directly into his cold gaze and when thunder started to strike, his eyes weren’t dulled by their light. “I do not fret to serve one more time, even if it’s forever…”

There was something that changed in his air. I cannot point out what it was, but his semblance was different, as if the winds of the storm had finally made him feel cold, even though I doubt something like him would be able to feel coldness. His previous smile had disappeared, and his mouth was now a grimace, a straight line, which made the jailer look much more severe than he already was.

“What is your name, miss?” the man asked, with a muttered, calm voice, with both hands behind his back.

“Senara Raion, sire” I responded, trembling not only because that man made me feel paralyzed, but because a very thin but chilling rain had started to fall above us.

He stared at me, thoughtful, almost as if he were expecting a reaction on my behalf.

“Miss Senara, tell me…” Suddenly, he extended his hand towards me, with no alteration to his face. “Do we have a deal?”

I looked at his face, the diabolic eyes, his gloved hand. There was no turning back…

“We do, sire.”

Had I known the future consequences of my choice… I would’ve never set foot on that hill...

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Hope you liked it!

#Thresh #Thresh x oc #League of legends #League of legends fanfic #I'm a simp for that man #Daddy pls chain me #I should be studying instead of writing this but it gives me lifeeeee

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originalhybridnik · 3 years

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harry potter: why it’s not “just for kids.”

the other day, this girl i know told me, “why the hell are you reading harry potter? it’s for kids only.” i’m 17, and, well, close to adulthood. i don’t reply to her, because, often, when someone asks me something like this, i have a huge explanation, lasting for a long time, and people don’t like it. so, i’m gonna give my explanation here.

harry potter. the boy who lived. the whole series is loved by millions of people in the world, from different age groups and from different parts of the world. it’d be an understatement to say that i love the series. i’ve read the books, seen the movies, even read the supplementary books, as well as harry potter and the cursed child. i’ve seen the fantastic beasts movies as well. and i’ve read the books not once, not twice, not even thrice. i’ve read the series 8 times.

here are the reasons as to why harry potter isn’t for any specific age group.

(spoiler alert to everyone out there) trigger warnings: foul language, death, slavery, discrimination.

1. harry potter, the kid who was orphaned at the age of one, the boy who had no family but his nasty muggle uncle, aunt and cousin, the name known to every wizard and witch, the one-year-old who weakened voldemort to the brink of death. this boy has gone through more pain, sorrow and grief than any fictional character i’ve read of. provided, it doesn’t seem so. but, take it from someone who has read the series as much as i have, he isn’t what he apparently seems to be. j.k. rowling gives us a glimpse of his life before hogwarts, just a mere glimpse. this small portion shows us the amount of bullying he has to go through. he has absolutely no friends, and his cousin’s gang was always behind him. his aunt and uncle starve him for the tinniest of mistakes and he did not even know the real cause of his parents’ death. he has no one to talk to, or be with. he lives in a cupboard under the stairs. his aunt and uncle are certain to “bash out” the magic in him by keeping him away from the wizarding world. he is constantly treated like trash, and he has to do all of the dursleys’ work whether he wanted to or not.

2. he gets a letter from hogwarts, and he isn’t allowed to read it. he keeps getting more and more of them, and he still isn’t allowed to read them. the letters arrive at such a pace that uncle vernon decides to move into a small hut on a rock in the middle of a sea. he then gets his letter hand delivered by hagrid, the keeper of keys at hogwarts. he finally catches a break, and goes to hogwarts, the prized boy who apparently killed voldemort. during his first year at hogwarts, he and his closest friends, ron and hermione embark on a quest to keep the philosopher’s stone from voldemort’s reach. the three 11-year-olds have to get past a three headed dog, past the devil’s snare, one of the deadliest plants in the wizarding world, past a door that could be opened only by catching a flying key scattered across many other flying keys, play on a life size board of wizard’s chess-where ron sacrifices himself so that harry could continue, which almost kills ron, past a room with 7 containers of potions which could kill them if they weren’t smart, and finally to a room where harry meets professor quirell who has provided his body as a refuge for voldemort, who manifests on the back of his head. harry faces the man who killed his parents before he could even speak, and he almost gets possessed by voldemort, because he’s probably the only one who could have the stone, as the mirror of erised could give it only to the person who wanted the stone, but not for a selfish reason. he kills quirell, but voldemort gets away. you see, this shows how deep the first book is. i mean, as a kid, i never understood the sacrifices made, by any of the characters. but, as i read the book again, i understood why what happened happened. it became obvious to me. this shows that we can enjoy the book as a child, without realizing the deepness, and as teens and adults, we get the sacrifices made, the blood shed, the connections forged, and most importantly, how important it is to recognize the values left behind, and, for once, try understanding that this series, even if written for kids, is suitable, and, important for older readers as well.

3. ronald weasely, the sixth child in a relatively poor, and commonplace wizarding family that turns out to be the most loyal, brave and worthy wizarding families ever. he grew up as a wizard and knew a lot about the wizarding world, especially it’s prejudices. he’s the perfect example of a trustworthy, loyal and brave friend. he deserves a lot more than the unnecessary hate he gets. he befriends harry potter, a famous kid that didn’t know anything about his true self, and sticks with him forever. throughout the series, we see this brave boy sacrifice a lot for his best friend. book 1, he sacrifices himself, AN ELEVEN YEAR OLD, for a boy that he knew for less than a year. book 2, he’s ready to walk into a forest, following his WORST fear, spiders, into their fucking home. book 3, he’s ready to follow a mass murderer(not really a mass murderer, but yeah) to help his best friends. book 4, even though he gets jealous and stops talking to harry for a while, we totally get what he was gong through. book 5, he fucking walks breaks into the ministry of magic with his best friends to fight the most feared group of dark wizards and witches ever. book 6, he’s ready to fight anYone for his best friends. book 7, HE’S READY TO RUN AWAY AND FIGHT THE MOST FEARED WIZARD EVER, for his best friend.

all of this, ALL OF THIS, just shows how mature he is, how much we can learn from him, and, most importantly, how wrong it is to title this series as one “for kids”. we see a mere boy sacrifice himself, put his life in danger, time and again, for his best friends. if that isn’t something every human being should be exposed to, then what is?

4. hermione granger, another important character, throughout the series, born into a muggle family, living her life as a smart, bookworm, one day, gets a letter, getting accepted into the best wizarding institution, and, unlike the dursleys, her parents are proud of her and she’s all set for this magical experience. she never anticipates the hate or the prejudice that, is shown towards her and children like her, born into a muggle family. “mudblood,” they call them, exactly the kind of discrimination imminent to THIS DAY all over the world. whether it’s on an international standard, or within a country, whether it is race, caste, gender or preferences, whether it’s against a group or an individual, it’s exactly like this. the whole concept of blood status shows us how deep the books are. it shows us how mature we need to be to understand this. it shows us how we need to think more about this and implement this in real life. a kid from a “pureblood” family, namely, draco malfoy, is the first person to use this, in book 2. it just shows us how parents like his encourage their kids to discriminate people based on their lineage. i won’t point to a specific issue but all of us know of examples, whether we’re the offenders or the offended.

5. slavery is a very important issue touched upon in the series. even though we see harry free dobby from the malfoys, there’s very little importance given to the base, the root cause of what dobby went through. he was a slave to a rich family that considered itself above anyone without “pure blood.” but, we see this very issue taken up in a book 4. we see hermione take a stand against the improper and infuriating treatment of house elves, by organizing a committee called S.P.E.W(society for the promotion of elfish welfare). we see her force people into taking part in this, and even though it’s by force, we all see where she came from. if you don’t know, house elves believed they had only one true purpose in life, to slave around for their owners, without being respected or treated well, and no matter what. we see winky, another elf, previously working(for lack of a better word, cuz that wasn’t working) for bartemius crouch, who’s absolutely against the idea of being paid or even being free. despite seeing dobby and how he enjoyed freedom, she was absolutely against it. again, we see how such an important and deep issue was addressed in a way that makes use all understand, despite our age, that EVERYONE is equal, no matter what. if you STILL think it’s a book for kids only, please continue reading.(continue anyways)

6. can we talk about how the magic-folk have had to live in hiding forever because people are afraid of them? they’re treated like they’re inhuman, trash and most importantly, like they deserve to die for being born with a power for magic?

7. as long as we’re talking about discrimination, we can also look into the fact that, squibs(non-magic folk born into magical families) are looked down upon? they’re tortured, and they receive as much hate, if not more, as “mudbloods.”

8. a special trigger warning for this: TW /death. THROUGHOUT the series, we see some of our most beloved characters die. spoiler alert: in book 1, we see how james and lily were ruthlessly killed by voldemort, orphaning a one year old boy that’d be famous for something he never knew he did. honestly, it wasn’t even his doing. in the same book, we see the killing of unicorns, the consequences of killing a unicorn and drinking it’s blood, AND the killing of professor quirell/voldemort, and even though he/they were the bad person, it deserves to be a part of this list. book 2, we see a young tom riddle get killed in the end, we see how young myrtle got killed, we see students getting fucking petrified by a monster, an inch away from death. book 3, we see how sirius black apparently killed 13 people and was an accomplice to his best friend’s murder. book 4, we see cedric die as a direct affect from the killing curse. we see harry get tortured by the cruciatus curse. we see the most feared wizard reborn, and, not to mention, we see his weakened form in the movie. book 5, we see the rampage that voldemort causes, killing more and more people, muggles and magic-folk alike. more importantly, we see harry’s godfather, sirius black die. we see the pain harry goes through. book 6, again, we see not only voldemort’s actions, but the use of sectumsempra by harry on draco, and how snape killed dumbledore. book 7, we see SO MUCH death. from alastor (mad-eye) moody to fred weasely, from severus snape to remus lupin and nymphadora tonks, so many fucking deaths. we see harry potter die.

9. can we talk about the phrase “lamb for slaughter”? most of us have heard of this phrase at least once. i cannot think of another explanation of this than the way it’s shown in these books. albus dumbledore literally prepares and protets harry for seventeen fucking years just so he can get get killed by voldemort in the end. this teaches an important lesson to everyone that, sometimes, you need to do what you think is right. even if an adult cares about you more than anything, sometimes they do things they believe in and end up hurting kids.

10. can we talk about how bill weasely got bit in the face by an untransformed werewolf and got deformed for life? even after this, fleur didn’t leave him. if this isn’t a lesson to us about what true love is, then, what is?

11. let’s talk about love. firstly, about how much harry, hermione and ron love each other. they’re the true example of best friends. they were together through everything, there for each other in the worst of times, and for the happiest of moments, and will probably be together until they die. secondly, can we talk about how when people are truly in love, they don’t care about appearances. all they care about is what’s on the inside. this is clearly shown by fleur(check point 10). ALSO, we see tonks sacrifice herself with remus, in the final battle. we see dumbledore care about harry so much, love him so much, despite everything else. we see the love family has. we see harry and hermione become a part of the weasleys. we see harry and ginny fall in love. we even see snape’s love for lily. we see so much love. now, this is something very important for all of us. whether we’re raised in that way, or we are exposed to it later in life, we need to learn that love is important in life.

12. can we talk about the torture neville’s parents, among countless others, went through? because of voldemort? and his death eaters? do you still think these books are for kids?

13. can we talk about how a group of 15 year-olds form a group to learn how to fight in the real world, because of a careless ministry of magic and a cruel teacher? it shows us values of leadership, team work, and most of all, how important friendship is. we see a part of this group march into a battle against death eaters, and, possibly, even voldemort himself, without fear of death. for one moment, look at how brave one is when one is with one’s true friends. this teaches us so much.

14. CAN WE TALK ABOUT HOW A CRUEL TEACHER MAKES A 15-YEAR OLD BOY SCAR HIMSELF WITH THE WORDS “I WILL NOT TELL LIES” JUST BECAUSE SHE WAS TOO ADAMENT TO BELIEVE THE TRUTH? do you still fucking think this series is for kids?

15. can we talk about how all the magical creatures are treated cruelly? from elves to centaurs, it’s cruelty at it’s finest. are you still convinced it’s a book for kids just because it has magic?

16. can we talk about how much trauma a reader experiences throughout the series? i mean, i’m absolutely grateful that i went through this trauma, because i came out as a better person, in not one, but, multiple ways. we journey through seven years of happiness, sorrow, pain, love, and so much more. we see our favorites get killed, we see how sometimes, people are misunderstood. we see how everyone is born good, but it’s our childhood and the way we’re raised that makes us bad. this is not something all kids understand. an older person can read this series, go through all of this, and will come out as a better human being.

17. how many of you remember the way snape was treated as a kid? huh? by harry’s own father and his friends. this is a shout out to all the bullies out there that think they can do whatever they want and not care about consequences just because they’re stronger, or more famous, or more good-looking. this fucking teaches kids to NOT bully anyone.

this is more than just a series for me. it let me into this new universe where i experienced so fucking much.

if this wasn’t enough for you to at least consider the fact that these books are not “just for kids,” i’m sorry, but you’re just being morons. you don’t wanna even consider something that goes against what you say and that’s your problem, not ours. so, STOP HATING ON THE WIZARDING WORLD COMMUNITY AND GET A FUCKING JOB.

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shaydeoffical · 3 years

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Burnt Chocolate Kisses: Osamu Miya x Fem Reader!

Summary: Osamu and (Y/n), think about their first valentines together, and find a way to celebrate their third anniversary after a busy day.

Words: 2.5k

Warnings/keywords: fluff, light fighting, Suna with Barbz energy.

Author’s Note: This is for the Sweethearts Collide Collab I am hosting. Please go support everyone who joined in! I am so excited to share all these V-Day fics with you, and maybe make it a little less lonely for some of you! Please enjoy

Collab Masterlist: here

Burnt Chocolate Kisses

"Samu." I sat my box down and rushed to meet him at the door. Rice was scattered across his hair and chest, not to mention there was a small patch on his cheek. His eyes were barely open, movements slow, as he took off his shoes. "I told you to let me help at the store today." "Be glad you didn't." He stepped up from the genkan and slumped into my arms. "One couple tossed their food at the cashier. Instinct kicked it, and I spiked it across the store. I'm going to be collecting those free onigiri vouchers for the next three months." "Valentine's day is about being with your loved ones and sharing a romantic evening. Yet, there's always an idiot or two who like to ruin the day for everyone. I'm sorry it was hell today." Rocking him lightly, we slowly edged our way to the kitchen. Part of the reason I stayed home today was so I could cook him a magical dinner. But my day hadn't gone to plan either. "Why do I smell smoke?" Finding some energy, he moved past me and ran to the oven. Opening the door, the last billows of smoke rose up and out. "(Y/n); what happened? Are you okay?" Grabbing a towel, he fanned the air away from the smoke detector and glanced at my hands. There were few people in this world who'd be more interested in my well being than their stove in shambles. "No burns this time." I laughed, gritting my teeth. The air was thick, my throat closing up. "I guess I did surprise you; there's just nothing to eat…" Inside the oven was a charred goose. We had watched someone cook a goose on Master Chef, and we had wanted to try it for a few months. He held his forehead and turned his back to me, getting the bird into the trash. "So, um, are you going to cook my goose over this?" My voice cracked, but I couldn't stop the joke from slipping out.

He giggled to my relief. Osamu was a wonderful boyfriend; of course, we had some fights, but he never let it get out of hand. Though it was a different story between him and his twin. Atsumu always used me as a human shield from his brother during fights, and it worked every time. Osamu wouldn't risk hurting me, no matter how much he wanted to strangle his brother. "Nice pun, baby." Coming back to reality, I jumped up, sitting on the counter. "Well, I wanted to make today special. But I think we both just want to try again tomorrow." I leaned my head against the cabinets. Soot had stained the ceilings and coated the light fixtures. To say I almost burned the house down was an understatement. Thankfully, 'Samu told me that if there was a fire in the oven, to just let it smother out by keeping the door shut. "We have a history of celebrating the 15th, ya know." He slotted between my legs and pressed his soft stomach against mine. "We'll get our half-price teddy bears and snacks, walk around the park, maybe go to the arcade. Or." "Or what?" Stealing a kiss, I tapped his nose. "We just do what we did for our first valentines." He slowly kissed up my throat, nibbling here or there. "No. Th-that doesn't count!" Blood rushed to my head, his hands ghosting up and down my back. "You can't sweet talk me into this. That was three years ago, and I didn't get to tell you how I felt. Plus, it was after midnight, so it doesn't count. Now, if you want to go skating like our first real valentines, I will." "I'm not sweet talkin'," he bit down on my favorite spot, my hand anchoring in his hair. "Come on, it's nothin' scandalous. But if I have to keep persuading you, it might take a sloppy turn. I'm too tired to be any count tonight." "I'm exhausted too." Pulling apart, his eyes sparkled, waiting for my reply. "Alright, let's do it." I jumped down and started to get my warm clothes on. "I'll make it up to you, for last time. Though this might tire us out more than we remember." "Let's do it." He grabbed a quick snack and went to the bedroom to get changed. "It'll be fun." Hollering back at me, he poked his head out the door, and I could catch a peek at his chest, my chest fluttering.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Flashback

"So you burnt 'em?" Atsumu held the obligation chocolates to the street light. "You skipped class to cook all day, and this is what you made?" "Thank you (L/n), they'll make a nice paperweight." Suna snickered, placing the pink heart bag in his pocket. It was Valentine's day, and the three of us were waiting for Osamu to join us for the festival. "Oi, (Y/n). Tell me you didn't burn your hommi cocos for my brother." Atsumu poked the bulge in my bag. "I'm going to wait for next year. There's no way I can confess with these." Gripping the side of my bag, I swallowed hard. "No matter how many times I tried, it just… didn't turn out. Hey, wait. How the hell did you know that Osamu's were hommi cocos?" I gripped Atsumu by his collar. "It's not hard to tell. You keep sneaking away from your club to watch us practice. Not to mention, you've been up each other's ass the past three years of school. It's only a matter of time before one of you does something about it." Suna snuck out one of his chocolates and took a chase bite. His eyes bugged, this throat struggling to swallow the charred candy. "Damn it." I stomped my foot. A dust cloud formed, sweeping through the crowd of people around us. The weather had been dry for a while; there was a debate on whether it was safe or not to have a fireworks display this year. That's when I was going to give Samu his candy, but things weren't really working out. "I guess there's next year. Maybe we'll go to the same college?" "What about next year?" "Ahh, nothing." Twirling on my heels, Osamu was right behind me. Our shoulder's bumped when I turned; his hands steadied me. There were lots of thoughts racing through my head, but I couldn't help but notice how handsome he was, the star's reflecting in his eyes. "Sorry, I'm late." He smoothed the wrinkles on my sleeves and smiled. "Now, what are we planning for next year? A date without these two idiots?" "I resent that." Suna looked towards the food booths. "(Y/n) would rather it just be us, right?" Atsumu pulled me into his arms, pressing my head against his chest. "Cut it out." I wriggled in his hold. "I'm the superior twin by far. Who wants to spend time with a loser like Samu, when I'm right here?" "Let them go, Tsumu." Osamu's voice was even. I was surprised he wasn't trying to lunge around me to hit his brother. "She even gave me and Suna coco's, isn't that right (Y/n)?" "She did." Suna agreed, egging them on. "What's wrong with you?" I finally broke free. "Why are you trying to start a fight?" Atsumu grinned like a fox, holding up the candy I made him. When I looked at Osamu, he seemed crestfallen. The two fought all the time. Why was he so hurt this time? I had made him candy…it just wasn't good enough. "Just say it (Y/n). I know you want to." Atsumu pushed me towards his brother. "Tell him how you really feel." "Enough, Atsumu." I dug in my heels. "Can't you just let us have a good night? This is the last Valentine's we're going to have- Oh my god, Rintaro Suna. Put that god damn camera away." Tugging my hair, I noticed a crowd has started to form. Shaking, I hid my face in my hands. "I can't believe you two." "Come one (Y/n)," Osamu took my hand, breaking the crowd so we could pass. "Let's do what we always do." "Ditch our friends and stuff our face?" I sniffled, clutching onto his kimono. "Of course." We stopped in front of a booth selling sweets. "I'm really sorry about the things that were said." I played with the strings hanging from my outfit. "Let's just focus on making happy memories now. Like you said, this could be our last chance to do this again." He stepped closer to me, tucking me under his arm as a large group passed us. There wasn't much of a line, and in a few minutes, it was our turn. My eyes were glued to the apples, and Samu noticed. "Two candy apples, please." "Here." I tried to pass him some cash. He pushed it back into my palm and handed me the apple. "It's my treat today." "It's your treat every day." A pout settled on my lips until I dug into the apple. The red candy coating crunched, and the sweet juice rushed into my mouth. "Hmm, this is good. We should try to make some of these next weekends." "We should. Let's make it a date." He grabbed my hand, walking towards the line for the next booth, which was selling ticker fish. Diving through the people, my heart was nestled in my throat. "You shouldn't sound so casual, or I'll get the wrong idea." Someone stepped back, and I tripped over their foot. My candy apple went flying, and my arms failed for any support. Osamu caught my upper half and eased me into a squat before I crashed. Popping back up, I apologized to the man, and he went on his way. "You okay." Samu dusted off my dress and examined my knees for any stress. "Thanks to you, I'm fine." I looked at my candy apple, crusted with dirt. "But my apple isn't." The line was moving fast, so I nudged him forward. "Seams like today has been nothing but bad luck for me." "Is that so? Why?" He ordered the fish, a few drinks and some grilled chicken too. As the food was being prepared, he handed me his apple. We shared food all the time, this was no different, but something was off. His fingers brushed mine when he handed it off. Sure the stick was hard to balance, but this was…so soft. Osamu grabbed the food and re-entered the crowd. "Well, I-." Pushing my shoulder's back, I bit into his apple and collected my thoughts. We veered off the path with our dinner and find a quiet place to sit and eat. "I was making hommi cocos for someone special, and they burned…multiple times." I plopped down on the grass and took another bite of the apple. "So Atsumu was lying." Osamu showed me his phone. Atsumu had texted him a picture of the obligation chocolates I made him. "Yup, he just wanted to upset you." The fire flies lit up the sky as our eyes adjusted to the dark. A breeze filtered through the area, and I scooted closer to Samu for warmth. "So you were making the hommi cocos for me?" He held out a piece of fish for me, and I used my teeth to pull it off the stick. "Like I said, today's been terrible." I curled into my knees. "I can't share my true feelings with burnt chocolate." "I see." He looked at his watch then the sky. "The fireworks about to start. Which means it's almost midnight." He reached over and took another bite of his apple. "We can just wait till then." "It won't count if we wait, though." I realized that I was basically admitting my crush then and there, but there was no point in pretending now. "Our feelings will be the same today and tomorrow." He reached into his bag. "I made these for you." "Sumu." It was a box of cocos; they were wrapped in pink ribbons and had special frosting with my name. "You, put so much effort into this, I. I defiantly can't show you what I made." Fireworks went off in the sky above, raining down red and pink sparkles. They illuminated his eyes, making them glow almost. His face was inches from mine, our breath shared. "They are hommi cocos. I couldn't wait for white day. I didn't know for sure if you returned my feelings, so just in case, I made these for you. I really like you (Y/n), please, be mine?" "I don't know what to say. I had all these things planned, but I'm lost for words." I pulled back, handing him the box. "These aren't good enough to express my feelings, but I want you to know I tried." Having killed the moment, I wanted to kick my own ass for pulling away. "You skipped class to make these?" he asked, popping one in his mouth. "I did. Feel free to rub in how bad they taste." I laughed, wiping the sweat from my brow. "They're perfect." He leaned forward again, but not as far. I met him halfway, our lips touching in a feathery test.

"Mm, that is so much better without the taste of burnt chocolates." I slid off his lap and onto the blanket beside us. We had gone to a festival and got the same dishes as before. The firework show was about to start, and we finally were alone.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Present "It was cute. You put some much effort into them that all I tasted was your love." He grabbed my chin, pulling me in for another kiss. "My love and scorched caramel." Leaning against his chest, I looked at the sky, the first firework going up. "I'm glad you were braver than I was back then." "As much as Atsumu pissed me off, I'm glad he tried to push together." A loud boom spoked me, of the fireworks bigger than usual. It made a giant red heart. "He sped things up for sure. Thinking back on the day, there were a lot of disasters, but it was all worth it. Because I got to find the love of my life." I laced our fingers together. "I wish for us to always be together." "We will; no need to wish for it." He kissed my knuckles, his knee knocking down the stick from our food. "Thank you for working so hard today." "Well, burning stuff is my love language." I giggled, and we curled deeper into each other. "I love you (Y/n)." He closed his eyes, starting to drift off. After a hard day's work, he needed a little rest. Considering how hard he fought it to spend time with me today, I could let him use me as a pillow.

#haikyuu x reader #osamu x reader #haikyuu fluff #Osamu Miya fluff #osamu fluff #Osamu x female reader #osamu miya #Osamu imagine #miya twins #suna #valintinesday #fanfiction #sfw #fluff #romance

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i-love-side-characters · 3 years

Note

What did you think of the end of The Toll?

!!! TOLL SPOILERS !!! PROCEED WITH CAUTION !!!

Scythe Cult: @honorablescythecurie @honorablescythefaraday @palli-x @book-limerence @lochscinders @a-lonely-tatertot @shellyseashell

bored? send me serotonin please <3

Okay now lets get a couple things out of the way. I haven’t read Toll in a little bit, and it’s taking forever to come from the library. Also, yes I did have it downloaded before, but I kept rereading Faraday’s journal entry when he find out Curie is dead. I know, I’m trash for them but honestly let me have this #curiedeservedbetter2021 #faradaydeservedbetter2021 #curadayforlife

Now that we’ve established that I’m just lonely and so I cling onto healthy (ish) fictional couples for my source of love, let’s proceed.

Things I remember:

- Rowan and Citra go zoomy zoom into spacey space, but Citra’s deadish because Goddard pulled some shit and so Rowan’s going to wait a couple hundred years for her to wake up

- Total hottie Ayn Rand shanked Goddard which is honestly a power move you go girl

- Faraday and Munira unleashed the failsafe, which basically infected a whole bunch of people and now Scythes just kill the infected people so that there’s no suffering

- Jeri!!! and Greyson!!! Babeys!!! Smol Beans!!! My genderfluid babey with my weird Jesus man it’s a match made by the Thunderhead (because it literally is)

- Rowan and Citra (who renounced her Scythehood) are going to start a new colony on some random ass planet

Things I don’t remember:

- Whatever happen with Cirrus

- Whatever happen with Joel the Jobe Man

- Whatever happen with Loriana and Munira who are totally in love Shusterman said Sapphic rights

Okay Akki stfu lets move on:

Okay. I didn’t really like it. I did like Rowan’s sarcasm, but the ending fell a little flat. Compared to the other books’ endings, I didn’t really think it measured up. It was just a bit bland. Here’s why.

The end goal:

Let’s just work our way through the series to show why The Toll just didn’t really work for me.

Scythe - Book 1:

Goal/Climax:

The goal/climax of the book was clear. Citra and Rowan are fighting for the ring. Only one can get it, and the winner has to glean the other.

The ending:

Citra wins the ring, and is ordained. Instead of actually killing (gleaning) Rowan, she slyly grants him immunity by punching him so that his blood’s DNA would transfer to the database and no Scythe could kill him. We also got a confession scene where they tell each other they love the other. It ends with Rowan finding out that Faraday did not self-glean.

Why it works:

It is tense. We are watching the two main characters have to either kill the other or be killed. Neither want to. It is clear from their actions throughout that they harbour feelings for each other. This is a high stakes situation. And it flows nicely. We don’t have any unnecessary dialogue/scenes. We don’t have a dumb solution to the problem where a bunch of unnecessary events happen like a character death/romantic scene. They do tell the other that they love them, but the moment is quick and is not the focus of the moment. The focus is on the actual ordainment ceremony and the challenge. The solution directly addresses the main conflict of the book.

Thunderhead - Book 2:

Goal/Climax:

Goddard and Citra (now Anastasia) are presenting their arguments as to who will win the inquest. The inquest was called because Anastasia and Curie needed time to gain more votes in favour of Curie for the position of High Blade.

The ending:

Anastasia and Curie win the inquest, and Goddard must complete a full new apprenticeship in order to train his new body. Goddard, however, has tricks up his sleeve. He had made a plan prior to the events on Endura to cripple the Grandslayers tower. The plan changes, but works to his favour and destroys the entire island. Curie, in a desperate attempt to save Rowan and Citra, locks them in an airtight chamber that will preserve them so they can be revived. With this sacrifice, Curie is forced to self glean.

“She thrust her blade inward, directly into her heart. She fell to the ground only seconds before the sea would wash over her, but she knew death would wash over her faster. And the blade hurt far less than she imagined it would, which made her smile. She was good. Very, very good.”

-Thunderhead, page 499

Why it works:

*violently screams in my head* I’m good don’t worry

It is a logical ending. If Curie and Anastasia had won the inquest and survived Endura, there would be no need for a third book, unless Shusterman had decided to write a book about Curie being High Blade and Goddard sulking in the shadows and plotting to kill her. That wouldn’t work because I don’t think there is any possible way Curie wouldn’t catch Goddard in two seconds because she’s a boss.

Many people say that Curie should have gotten Rowan to lock her and Anastasia in the vault instead of him. Rowan would have died for Anastasia, it makes sense, but that takes away from the very essence of Curie’s character. She is a truly Honourable Scythe. She knows that Anastasia loves him, and she cares deeply about Anastasia. Letting herself survive would have been completely out of character. She also knows that Anastasia is the future of the Scythedom. While it would be a great help if Curie didn’t die, as well as sparing us emotional trauma, it doesn’t make sense for her character.

This ending also directly “solved” the issue in the book. While the villain won, it was a satisfying ending. Curie is dead, that was a very smart move, because obviously Goddard wouldn’t survive two seconds if she was there. It gave us a good reason for the Thunderhead to disappear.

*violently screams again* Curie died, yeah, no, I’m okay

The Toll - Book 3: *note that some details may be wrong

Goal/Climax:

Faraday, Rowan, Jeri, Munira, Loriana, Anastasia, Greyson, and Cirrus need to figure out what to with the frozen Tonists, all unknowing that Scythes Goddard and Rand are heading towards the island. They still need to beat him in order to make sure that the non-Scythe population won’t be subject to bias/malice/aforethought/Goddard’s ego.

The ending:

Rowan, and Citra, who renounced her Scythehood, travel to another planet that can support life with the frozen Tonists, as well as 42 other ships carrying Tonists. Cirrus is copied into 42 different versions in order to save humanity. After being offered Citra’s old ring, Munira (I believe) returns to the Library of Alexandria. Faraday follows through with the failsafe and gleans only the suffering. Greyson and Jeri stay together on the island, and become romantically involved. Scythe Rand is the one who eventually kills Goddard.

Why it DOESN’T work:

Okay, there’s a lot to unpack here. I’m just going to go character by character and by the plot.

1. Plot - It just doesn’t make sense. The hero’s solution doesn’t in any way stop Goddard, who is the main villain. We’ve led up to this for a very long time, and Rand is the one who gleans him. If I’m correct, The main characters don’t interact with Goddard for nearly the entire book, save Rowan. The solution, to save humanity by colonizing other planets would, without Rand’s interference, let Goddard wreak his havoc on the world. Only Scythe Faraday and Morrison could truly challenge him, and even then Faraday is old and hasn’t kept his abilities refined, and Morrison is young and inexperienced and wears a denim robe.

2. Rand and Goddard’s Arcs - Rand is the one who kills Goddard. I think that this was a very interesting move, and one that made a lot of sense. Goddard has treated her terribly, it would satisfy her arc of turning against him, as well as giving her a redemption arc that would also avenge Tyger’s death. I think that this is actually a really good arc, were it not for the fact that Citra and Goddard never fought/interacted with each other. If there had been a fight, and Rand had killed him then, that would have been better and would have better satisfied the actual conflict in the book.

3. Rowan and Citra’s Arcs - In terms of Citra’s arc, I think it was emotionally impactful to have her renounce her Scythehood. But Rowan didn’t have as much of a part to play in this book as he could have had. Citra and Goddard also never interacted, which would have been very interesting since he was the direct cause of her mentor and canon mother figure’s death. It would have been an interesting scene that could have played out really well. Based on Discord texts from a conversation I had, I know an reminded that the last two pages of The Toll were incredibly impactful and beautiful. I don’t have much to say about Rowan since I don’t remember much of his role.

4. Jeri, Greyson, Loriana, and Munira’s Arcs - I paired these four together since their doings aren’t very solid after the books. Jeri and Greyson are canonically together, which I think was a great move by Shusterman. Having a main character in a healthy relationship with a canon LGBTQ+ character was incredibly impactful for me, and it satisfied Greyson’s thoughts about how he doesn’t care if Jeri is a boy or a girl, he just loves them. Loriana didn’t have as much of an arc, but Munira did have a small one. Her refusal of the Scythe’s ring let her dispense of her hatred for Scythes and their system, and let her let go of her bitter feelings about not being ordained.

5. Cirrus’ Arc? - I do not remember enough to speak about Cirrus’ role in the books.

6. Faraday’s Arc - This is probably the one I have the most to say about. I am sorry in advance. Faraday is an emotional character. He has cried canonically twice as far as I can remember, once when he gleaned a child, and the other when he found out Scythe Curie and Anastasia had died on Endura. He is also openly disgusted with Scythe Goddard and his practices, which is why I supremely dislike his arc. It would have been so interesting to see how he would have reacted if Scythe Goddard and the heroes had interacted during the end scene of The Toll. We know he is an Honourable Scythe, like Curie, and upholds the Scythe Commandments, especially after his punishment over his breaking of the 9th commandment “Thou shalt have no spouse nor spawn.” It would have been so. interesting. to see whether Faraday would snap and attack Goddard, if he would try and talk to him, how he would react. Like with Anastasia, he would have been interacting with Curie’s murderer. The potential of that moment! Don’t forget that Faraday is definitely still in love with Curie, based on his elevated heart rate in Thunderhead, and his journal entry in The Toll. I think it would have been so interesting to see him confront her killer.

Summary:

Okay that was much longer than I intended, and I have more thoughts, but it’s 2:40 am and I haven’t slept in a while. So my summary. I liked The Toll. It was a solid book, that had funny moments, jaw dropping moments, heartfelt moments, and emotionally impactful scenes. It was a solid book.

I don’t think it compared as much to the other two, especially Thunderhead. The ending fell a little flat and didn’t carry the arcs as well as I would have liked, but honestly, I still reread it. Shusterman really managed to pull at your emotions.

Because I just beat up on the book for the last couple paragraphs, let me tell you some of my favourite parts of the book.

1. Literally any scene with Possuelo and Anastasia that dynamic was so good and him calling her “meu anjo” literally made my heart do a little happy dance the father-daughter dynamic was what we needed. It also offered a nice levity to tough scenes.

2. The Rowan-Anastasia Reunion. They ran towards each other and knocked each other off their feet. Ohhhh my god, they ran towards each other and knocked each other off their feet! That was so cute, and as someone who was a strong supporter of platonic Rowan & Anastasia, I honestly loved it.

3. Faraday-Anastasia Reunion. Him dropping to his knees in front her her, her initial confusion as to who he was, and the “perhaps the greatest of all Scythes was kneeling in front of her” part killed me. Their reunion was so well written and heart-wrenching.

4. Anastasia Cries about Curie’s Death. I feel like WatchMojo right now. Anyways, the way her emotions break after trying to repress her sadness over her mentor’s sacrifice for her.

5. Rowan’s sarcasm. Beauty. What a power move to sass the guy who’s going to set you on fire in front of 3000 people.

6. Scythe Constantine and Rand. What a dynamic I wasn’t ready for. Rand’s cool comebacks with Constantine’s sly personality just made for the most amazing dialogue opportunities.

Thank you anon!

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wizardofrozz · 3 years

Text

The Perfect Pair

Warnings: swearing, mention of past trauma, mention of child abuse, mention of past sexual assult

Pairing: Loki x OFC

A/N: I’m sorry it took me a few days to post the next chapter, but I’ll be back to updating regularly! *Memories and character thoughts are in italics*

Please read with caution! There is mention of sensitive and triggering topics in this chapter, beware please.

_____________________________________________________________

Chapter 5: Welcome to Asgard

(Violet)

I groaned, rolling on my side; the sudden weightlessness made me fumble to catch myself. I blinked a few times, trying to figure out where I was; I stared down at the painfully white floor I was kneeling on. My head shot up, trying to make sense of my surroundings; an odd orange, translucent barrier surrounded three of the four walls to the room. What the fuck? I got to my feet and realized there were creatures in similar rooms all around me; I wandered closer to the barrier but knew better than to touch it. I glanced to my right and realized that there was another figure about six rooms away from me; it finally occurred to me I was in prison, but I had no idea where. “Hello?” I called to the figure at the end of the row of cells. They stayed lying on their back as if they didn’t hear me; I pushed my conscious away, traveling through the barriers between us. As I got closer, the creature's features got clearer; dark hair, pale skin, high cheek bones. “Loki?” I said louder this time; he moved slightly. He shifted on the bed he was lying on, his eyes finally starting to open; I expected to see surprise, but he only sighed, closing his eyes again. “Loki,” I moved closer, his head snapping in my direction. “Vi?” he whispered, scrambling to his feet. “Please tell me you aren’t really here too,” he sighed, chewing on the inside of his cheek. “Look to your left, dear,” I huffed. I watched his head turn, his eyes falling on my body before letting out a deep sigh and looking back at my projection again. “What the hell happened, Loki? Where are we?” I asked anxiously. “Welcome back to Asgard, little one. We’re in the prison near the castle,” Loki scrubbed his face with both hands. “What happened?” I growled, racking my brain for memories. “I don’t know exactly; I remember trying to get the tesseract back but not much else. I remember the Avengers, so I’m assuming my brother wanted us locked up here,” he rolled his eyes, wandering towards his small bed again. “Great, so we’re stuck here,” I threw my arms up, groaning. “Trapped is a better word. I’m surprised you could project yourself here. I guess they only block my magic so strongly. I can only use it in my cell. Yours is just different enough so you can do some things outside the barrier,” Loki tried to smile, but it just left a thin line on his face. “Fuck, so now what,” I asked, my shoulders sagging. “Get comfortable, darling,” Loki breathed.

///

Time seemed to pass differently underground, but maybe that had to do with having no sunlight and no idea how many days had passed. I spent most of the time sending my projection to Loki’s cell, where we would talk, he’d read to me, or we’d just sit there, silent. Loki and I shared much more with each other as the time passed, bonding more than we had in the almost year we were running around together. *** Loki and I sat against the wall, shoulders touching as Loki stared into space and I traced the pattern of the barrier surrounding us with my eyes. “You never did tell me what you meant on the roof in New York?” Loki suddenly said. “What?” Loki’s sudden question threw me off; I racked my brain as I tried to remember what I said that day, but everything blurs together. “When your father was dropped on the roof, you said something that deeply bothered me. You brushed it off and told me you’d fill me in later. Will you tell me now?” Loki whispered, shifting his gaze towards me. The mention of my father made me realize what Loki was referring to; I shifted uncomfortably next to him, trying to swallow around the lump forming in my throat. “Yes, that. Well, what more should I say?” I huffed, curling in on myself. I risked a glance up at Loki, swallowing a gasp; the openness that radiated off Loki was jarring. I’ve never seen him look as open and accepting as he did in that moment. “Uh, well. My mother was captured and assaulted during an attack on Jotunheim; when she was rescued and brought home, she was with child. Me. My father assured her that he would be there no matter what, and he was, but he didn’t love me like his own. He was disgusted by me, but that didn’t stop him from doing the things he did.” I pulled my knees against my chest, desperately trying to ward off the flashbacks of my childhood. “You mean, he….” Loki trailed off, unsure of what words to use. “Yes. When I said preference, I assume you understand what I meant by that.” “I-I can’t believe…who would do something like that?” Loki’s voice was harsh; I could feel the anger and tension that filled the room. “As I said in New York, he wasn’t the only one I knew of. It was like they had a secret group,” I mumbled, resting my chin on my knees. I fought back the bile that stung at the back of my throat as I focused my eyes on the floor. “Disgusting. Foul pigs. I can’t even think of a word to describe that,” Loki spat, venom dripping from every word. “I’m aware, but it’s over now. I watched his heart pump the last bit of life out of him on that roof. If anything, that was too peaceful for him,” I laughed dryly. “I wish you would have told me before….” Loki trailed off again, nervously picking at his nails. “Why would that have changed how you treated me?” I snapped, turning to look at him. Pain and guilt flashed across Loki’s face, his eyes drifting shut for a moment; he puffed out a quick breath before looking at me again. “…Yes. Physical injuries heal, but psychological wounds run deep; they latch on and never let go. I don’t strive to cause you psychological pain. I don’t want to hurt you that deeply.” I wanted to scoff at his admission, but I realized he honestly didn’t want to cause me that kind of pain; all the injuries and pain Loki may have caused me has never been an attack on my mind. “I wanted to say you’re lying, but I can’t think of a time that you said anything to poke those wounds,” I muttered, hoping to find something in my memories that contradicted my statement. “Everyone has their demons, including me. I don’t like my demons poked; therefore, I avoid doing it to others.” Loki smiled softly when I turned my face towards him; sometimes, I wondered what it would be like if we met differently. Would we have traditionally fallen in love instead of the fucked up emotional situation we constantly battle? *** “We haven’t fought in a while.” Loki's sudden statement yanked me out of the memory. “I know, but it’s hard to fight when I feel so helpless,” I whispered. “I know. I can’t say I dislike you as much anymore,” Loki laughed dryly. “I’ve grown to enjoy your company,” I smiled tightly at him, realizing how tired I was. “Darling, you look tired. You’ve been in here a while. Go get some rest,” Loki urged. “Goodnight, dear,” I smiled sadly at Loki, snapping my consciousness back to my body, collapsing on my bed. /// When I woke up again, I stared at the ceiling, wishing there was a way out of this shithole. I took a deep breath and pushing my consciousness towards Loki, I found him sitting on the floor, reading a book, but something seemed off. “Loki?” I whispered. “Hello darling,” he said, keeping his eyes on the book. I felt something odd in the air, realizing Loki was using magic to hide something; I closed my eyes and focused as hard as I could. I found the crack in his shield; I blew out the magic filling the room. “No!” Loki screamed. I opened my eyes and saw the true horror he was hiding; his cell was trashed, everything was thrown in different directions, broken. It looked like he went berserk, smashing everything in sight; my eyes landed on where he was sitting, the clean, put-together image of Loki was shattered. He was sitting against the wall, his clothes disheveled and torn, his hair was wild, and his eyes were bloodshot, tears still rolling down his cheeks. “Oh Loki, what happened?” I whispered, kneeling next to him. He had a faraway look in his eyes as if he didn’t even hear me speaking. “Honey,” I tried again. “My mother’s gone,” he said so quietly I almost didn’t hear it. “No, she can’t be,” I cried. “She can’t be gone,” I mumbled, tears filling my eyes. “Dark elves,” Loki muttered, still staring at nothing. “That’s not possible. They were locked away years ago,” I stated. “Thor’s human found the Aether. It woke them again. My mother’s gone because of a fucking human,” Loki finished with a growl. “Don’t blame her,” I snapped at him; he finally looked at me. “I do,” he said, anger swirling in his eyes. “It’s not her fault, and you know it. Your mother would’ve done the same thing if she was an Asgardian woman. Don’t blame a human for what the Dark Elves did.” I reached out to him, my hand fazing through his. “I can’t even find comfort in you,” his voice was strained, fighting off tears. I plopped down next to Loki; we sat for hours, crying, stewing in the overwhelming sorrow. “Brother?” Thor’s voice broke through the crushing anguish. “What happened? How are you in here?” his gaze falling on me. “I’m not, at least not really,” my voice cracked slightly. “Ah, brother, come to watch my descent into madness?” Loki let out a dry laugh. “I came to ask you for help,” Thor shifted his weight nervously. “You must be really desperate to come to me, brother,” Loki spat at Thor. “Loki, behave, hear him out,” I warned, shooting him a glare. “I need a passage away from Asgard to draw Malekith out before he causes more damage here. I need your help,” Thor pleaded. “What could you possibly have that would make me want to help?” Loki raised an eyebrow at him. “Can’t you just do it because Mother would want you to?” Thor shot back. “Classy brother, use our mother against me,” Loki’s expression was dark, angry. “If you do this, you won’t have to come back here,” Thor took a step closer. Loki looked right at his brother before locking eyes with me; I knew he wouldn’t leave if that were the offer. “No deal, brother,” he said, his eyes never leaving mine. “I won’t leave you to rot here,” he was talking to me now. “Loki, I need your help. I will try to release her when you hold up your end of the deal. Please take the deal,” Thor pleaded with his brother. “He’ll do it,” I said, keeping Loki’s gazed locked on mine. “You don’t speak for me,” he growled at me. “I don’t care. You’re not giving up on getting out of here because of me,” I shot him a look before turning to Thor. “He’ll do it. I hope you’d consider letting me out because he’s helping. I won’t let the fact that he cares for me get in the way of him working towards being a better person,” I sighed, waiting for Thor’s response. “Bold of you think he loves you,” Thor raised an eyebrow at me. “I never claimed he loves me. That doesn’t mean I want him to be stuck here,” I muttered flatly. “I care for him, and he cares for me,” I sighed. “And there’s a difference between the two?” Thor looked back and forth between us. “Yes,” I spat. “Now, just take his help,” I narrowed my eyes. “I’ll be back for you brother,” Thor looked around me before walking off. “Is there a difference?” Loki mumbled. “I think so. I still have the urge to hurt you at times,” I laughed hoarsely. “Oddly enough, I do too,” he laughed; it sounded almost normal again. “Maybe that’s how we love,” I whispered. “I’d still kill you, but I’d prefer not to,” I chuckled. “The only person that I cared about as much as you was my mother. I loved her very much. So maybe I do love you,” Loki whispered, staring at his hands. “I’ve wondered the same thing. Whatever we feel isn’t like everyone else,” I whispered. “I love you, darling, as much as I’m capable of,” he whispered, reaching for my hand. “I love you too, my dear, as much as I’m capable of,” I whispered back, my hand fazing through his, a sob bubbling out of my chest. I plopped down on the floor next to him, trying to hold back tears. “Darling, you look tired already,” Loki’s head lolled towards me. “I am; breaking your magic was hard,” I whispered, feeling myself struggling to stay. “Go, it’s okay,” Loki reassured before I slipped out of his cell.

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Series Masterlist | Chapter 6

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