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eviltothecore13 · 1 year

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Is it just me or has fandom overall...changed a lot in how it talks about its favourite characters over the past few years?

It used to be people who really liked a character would be like “this character’s the best at everything, they can do no wrong, they’d win every fight, they have a plan for everything, they’re the coolest cleverest most attractive person in the whole story!!!”, and like...that could go too far, it could be annoying or just really really inaccurate compared to canon (I used to know a Jill fan who insisted that Jill could easily beat every single character in the series in a fight--and look, Jill is very cool, but Chris was canonically the best in hand-to-hand combat at STARS and was also training HER in marksmanship, Jill is of course extremely capable but...she really does not have to be the best at everything to prove why she’s your favourite...for that matter, Wesker fans who were like “Wesker in RE5 has to be a clone/a fake/whatever because the REAL Wesker would never LOSE because Wesker can’t make mistakes!”...always made me go *stop, please, it’s embarrassing*), but it did...make sense why someone who really loved a character would say these things about them?

But now it seems like the kind of comments people make about their favourite characters, and the way they portray them in fics, are...pretty much the opposite of that? People will be like “my blorbo is SO STUPID! they’re so useless they can’t do ANYTHING! they’re a pathetic weak little wet paper bag!”

Like, a few years ago if I’d seen a post saying things like that about a character I’d assume it was written by someone who hated them?

And obviously...sometimes a character you love is kind of a dork, or makes some silly mistakes sometimes. Other times a character you love is a terrible evil person. I’m not saying everyone should equate liking a character with thinking they’re perfect. But...most popular characters AREN’T actually completely stupid and incompetent at absolutely everything, and I can never quite get my head around it when people seem to hold this view of a character and it’s clearly not true, like...if you really think they’re pathetic, stupid, and can’t do anything right...do you really like them that much?

I’ve seen fandom call characters stupid/idiots when they are either science geniuses, or they’re brilliant inventors who build sci-fi gadgets, or they’re scheming chessmaster strategist types who manipulate all the other characters for years and come very close to taking over the world, or maybe they just canonically speak several languages and are well-read, or even if canon doesn’t focus much on their intelligence you’ve got characters like Chris who was a USAF fighter pilot--which means he has a degree, judging by the timeline probably an Air Force Academy one, which means he was likely in the top 3% of his high school classes and DEFINITELY didn’t “barely scrape through” as I often see headcanoned (not just by people who want to bash him but people who are like “I love him! He’s such a big dumb himbo! He’s so stupid!!” like. what.)

Similarly I see characters who are canonically very confident and self-assured, never really doubting themselves for a second, and who canonically react to things going wrong by calmly adapting their plans and moving forwards without ever getting discouraged, get tagged on posts about “pathetic wet paper bag men who’ve never had a good day in their life and an insult from a child would make them cry”.

Or characters who are shown in canon as dangerous, powerful and near-fearless fighters get written in fics, by people who say they’re their favourites, as spending all their time crying and flinching and not even trying to defend themself from whoever’s attacking/trying to hurt them (and not because they went through some major trauma previously in the fic that left them in this state, either--often the fic is set during canon and the character is just...like that rather than something having happened to change them from who they were at that point in their life in canon)... personally, while I enjoy whump, whumping a character who’s ALREADY weak and helpless and spends all their time curled up in a corner crying BEFORE whatever you do to them in the fic can easily just feel like kicking them while they’re down and is honestly boring because it doesn’t show anything NEW about the character, so it’s particularly odd to see fics written that way when the character in canon is exactly the confident powerful type that I do think is fun to whump.

(For a specific example, RE canon is that Wesker and Sergei had a rivalry and Wesker seems to view Sergei mostly with disdain and see him as an annoying obstacle. Wesker never gives any sign of being scared of or intimidated by Sergei, and certainly doesn’t seem to start panicking the instant Sergei enters a room. And even before he had his powers, he had extensive combat training by the time he met Sergei, and Sergei being taller and heavier doesn’t inherently mean that Wesker would be defenceless and go down in one punch in a fight, or even that Wesker would LOSE a fight against him. Canon doesn’t depict Wesker as a helpless victim for Sergei to beat up...hurt him by all means but it’s OOC if Wesker doesn’t give as good as he gets.)

Oh, and characters who are canonically master manipulators who are experts at getting people on their side and gaining their trust being portrayed as so socially awkward and clueless that they’re incapable of holding a conversation without coming across offputtingly weird...

Maybe I’m the odd one out here but I can’t really get why you’d want to present your favourite character as LESS capable, LESS intelligent, LESS brave or confident or powerful or whatever other impressive traits they might have in canon? Like I wouldn’t go so far as to say I ADMIRE all my favourite characters, because some of them are murderous evil monsters, but...I generally do see them as either having some kind of admirable personality trait (courage, integrity, confidence, determination... or maybe just a lot of charisma and a good sense of humour, though I feel like charisma tends to overlap with confidence a fair bit...), or at least as being very good at what they do. I can kind of get the appeal of the “sweet and kind and caring but not that bright ‘golden retriever man’ type”, even though they’re not usually MY type, because I know some people primarily like characters who they think it would be good to be friends with (and most of those types of characters aren’t USELESS, at the very least they tend to be good at listening and being supportive), but when someone’s favourite character is a bad person AND they seem to think they’re stupid, useless, incompetent and pathetic on top of being evil it’s like...so what do you even like about them?

#I can even enjoy seeing a character at their lowest saddest point #but there has to be some contrast #otherwise it's just one-note #'sad' on its own is not a trait that will usually make me want to spend time with a character #if a character does nothing but mope about and feel sorry for themself throughout the story and never tries to improve their situation...#that's just a one-note 'damsel in distress' trope but as the protagonist #and it also just gets really monotonous #and I also just don't want a character who is always miserable existing in my head all the time #of course there are great and interesting characters who struggle with clinical depression #but there are ways of writing that #without making your character essentially replaceable with a wet tea towel with a sad face drawn on it #who gets bounced around the plot like a pinball #that's just a Sexy Lamp but replace 'sexy' with 'sad'#and while the Sexy Lamp test is meant to be about whether female characters are written as flat characters out of sexism #a flat useless male character might not be sexist but he certainly is boring #if all I know about them is 'they're sad and weak' that doesn't motivate me to want to spend time with them...#even 'they're an awful person but they're fun' is much more appealing than that

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yellowocaballero · 1 year

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Miguel is Fine, Actually (Being Spider-Man's Just Toxic As Hell)

Before I watched ATSV I said that I would defend my man Miguel O'Hara's actions no matter what, because he's always valid and I support women's wrongs. I was joking, and I did not actually expect to start defending him on Tumblr.edu. But I'm seeing a lot of commentary that's super reductive, so I do want to bring up another perspective on his character.

Miguel wasn't acting against the spirit of Spider-Man, or what being Spider-Man means. Miguel isn't meant to represent the antithesis of Spider-Man. Miles is the antithesis of Spider-Man. Miguel represents Spider-Man taken to its extreme.

Think about Miguel's actions from his perspective. If you were a hero who genuinely, legitimately, 100%, no doubt about it, believed that somebody is going to make a selfish decision that will destroy an entire universe and put the entire multiverse at severe risk - if you had an over-burdened sense of responsibility and believed in doing the right thing no matter what - you would also chase down the kid and put him in baby jail to try and prevent it. He believed that he was saving the multiverse, and that Miles was putting it in danger for selfish reasons. Which is completely unforgivable to him, because selfishness is what he hates the most. And then he goes completely out of pocket and starts beefing with a 15yo lmfaooo he's such a dick.

But why did Miguel believe that? Why did he believe that Miles choosing himself and his own happiness over the well-being of others was the worst possible thing? Why did he believe that tragedy was inevitable in their lives, and that without tragedy Spider-Man can't exist?

Because he's Spider-Man.

Peter Parker was once a fifteen year old who chose his own happiness over protecting others. It was the greatest regret of his life and he never forgave himself. Peter's ethos means that he will put himself last every time, and that he will sacrifice anything and everything in his life - his relationships, his health, his future - to protecting and helping others. Peter dropped out of college because it interfered with Spider-Man. He destroyed his own future for Spider-Man. He ruins friendships and romantic relationships because Spider-Man was more important. If Peter ever tries to protect himself and his own happiness, then he's a bad person.

That is intrinsic to Peter. Peter would not be Peter without it. A story that is not defined by Peter's unhappiness is not a Spider-Man story. If Peter doesn't make himself miserable, then he's just not Peter.

That is a Spider-Man story: that not only is tragedy inevitable, that if you don't allow yourself to be defined by your tragedy then you're a bad person. If you don't suffer, then you're a bad person. If you ever put anything above Spider-Man, then you're killing Uncle Ben all over again. Miguel isn't the only one that believes this - as we saw, every Spider-Man buys into what he's saying. There's no Spider-Man without these beliefs.

Miguel attempted to find his own happiness, and he was punished in the most extreme way. He got Uncle Ben'd x10000. He tried to be happy, and it literally destroyed his entire universe. It's the Spider-narrative taken to the extreme. Of course Miguel believes all of this. Of course he believes this so firmly. He's Spider-Man. That's his story. And the one time Miguel tried to fight against that story, he was punished. And like any Spider-Man, he'll slavishly obey that narrative no matter the evil it creates and perpetuates. Because if he doesn't, the narrative will punish him. The narrative will always punish him. It's a Spider-Man story.

I don't think the universal constant between Spider-Mans, the thing that makes them Spider-Man, is tragedy. I think it's the fact that they never forgive themselves. And Miguel is what that viewpoint creates. He doesn't believe this things because he's an awful, mean person. He believes them because he's a hero. He's a good person who hates himself.

Across the Spider-verse isn't really a Spider-Man story. It's a story about Spider-Man stories. Miguel's right: if this was a Spider-Man story, then Miles acting selfishly really would destroy the universe. But Miles' story isn't interested in punishing him. It pushes back against Peter's narrative that unhappiness is inevitable and that you have to suffer to be a good person. It says that sometimes we do the right thing from love and not fear, and that Peter's way of thinking is ultimately super toxic and unhappy. ITSV was about Miles deciding that he didn't need to be Peter Parker, that all he needed to be was Miles, and ATSV is about how being Peter Parker isn't such a good thing. Miguel shows that. Whatever toxic and unhealthy beliefs he holds - they're the exact same beliefs that any Spider-Man holds. He's a dick, but I don't think he's any more awful a person than Peter is.

TL;DR: Miguel isn't a bad person, he just has Spider-Man brainrot.

#across the spider-verse #atsv #atsv spoilers #across the spider-verse spoilers #across the spiderverse #across the spider verse #miguel o'hara #atsv meta #source: i recognized an embarassing amount of those cameos #im also seeing a lot of ppl make a lot of assumptions about what miguel was injecting and why #we dunno guys! im not gonna suppose anything #I just think that Miguel and Miles are great foils #and that what makes them interesting as foils #is the fact that they're both good people who want to do the right thing #miguel shows how that gets twisted #to the point where you beef with a 15yo sometimes which is still so funny #im a big spidey 2099 fan #which I love bc it is NOTHING like spiderman and yet it's such a good spiderman story #but talking about comics migs is useless bc he has 0 in common with atsv migs #but there is a lot of VERY cool stuff to say about how #the sm2099 comic has nothing to do with spiderman at all whatsoever extremely pointedly #but its still a wonderful spiderman story that finds its own way #tbh it was kind of a breath of fresh air to read a spider-man story that wasn't about spider-man for once #and that was just about miguel #anyway stan women's wrongs #miguel o hara #miguel ohara #my writing

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candyskiez · 5 months

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I know it probably wasn't meant to be a trans allegory but GOD does Steven's time with the diamonds resonate as a trans allegory to me. Like. Everyone disregarding his name. Being forced to wear uncomfortable clothing. People regarding his name as a funny joke. Being told he's just being childish. "I just want you to be yourself!" The ripping the fucking gem out SCREAMS of it. The purity talk. And just the. God. The scene where it showed Pink, then Rose, then Steven got me so hard as a trans person because it just. Reminds me SO much of just. Trans. So much trans. Because it just reminds me of looking at the past versions of me before I figured myself out. They're still a part of me, they still made up a lot of my life, but I am not them anymore. And that's what that scene resonates to me so much as. That gem is not Pink or Rose anymore. Reminds me of that one thing that goes "my parents were right, I DID kill their son." Pink is gone, Rose is gone, Steven is neither of them Steven is MORE Steven is alive and he is not that girl, he is not that girl, he doesn't want her name or her dresses or her life or her room, this is HIS body now, this is how HE sounds, he's not pretending to be someone else. This is who he is. He is not Pink or Rose. He is Steven. She's gone.

And god the scene where he hugs pink Steven just. It reminds me so much of accepting my gender or gender euphoria or just the realization of that's what I am, I am me, I am not broken, I am whole and i am not that girl. I don't need to be that girl because it doesn't make me happy. It's okay that I'm not that girl.

And just the. I am a child. What's your excuse? And the absolute "so what?" of that. Yeah, I'm a kid. This is still me. Why do you care so much about my body? Why does me being happy upset you so much? The girl you knew is gone, and maybe she never existed. It's your fault she's gone, and now I'm left, and it's my gem. It's my body. And this is who I've ALWAYS been.

The "I've always been me" line resonates so much. "I've always been this. I just needed to figure it out." Not how being trans works for everyone, ofc, everyone's relationship with their gender is different, this is just the vibes I get from this specific thing.

I do also like to dabble in reading Rose as a trans allegory too. Because I am self indulgent shh. And that ones less "I always was this" and more so "being the person I used to be made me miserable and I hated my own body, I hated my own life. So I grew into this new body that I love, and chose a new name, and a new identity that makes me happy." Which,, am I overanalyzing. I dunno man I like hitting my favorite characters with the transgender beam.

You can also read it with the lense of "I killed that old version of me and I am a woman now. This is who I am. That person is dead." Which. Once again. Am I overanalyzing. This feels too easy to read as trans. I am probably overanalyzing.

Anyways the way gender works for different people is really interesting, I like Steven Universe, I like making my favorites stories trans allegory-ified, and I cannot be stopped. Peace ✌️

#steven universe spoilers #su spoilers #steven universe #steven quartz universe #rose quartz su #rose quartz steven universe #su rose quartz #steven universe rose quartz

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exsanguidus · 9 months

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Controversial opinion; I think Ascended Astarion is the true Astarion. In DnD lore, vampirism amplifies a person's traits for whoever they are at the time they become a true vampire. A Paladin wanting to save people will end up ruling a city with an iron fist to keep people safe. A mage wanting to heal those they love will hurt everyone else to heal them. Astarion was on a journey with Tav - one from being controlled, owned, and tortured to being free, curious, and even powerful. Becoming a full vampire and ascending just amplified that. It forced a self-actualization, not a descent into villainy. I think Ascended Astarion is cannon Astarion. He will always be a vampire, and vampires in DnD are always the amplification of a true self. Without ascention, he is still malleable - but I don't think its what he wants. He wants to be powerful (protected by his own power too - his power being a means to self-preservation), he wants to be loved, seen, and free. Free of hunger, free to walk in the sun, free of Cazador. All these things are true regardless of the path you choose. But, they are all only attainable through ascension. When you ascend Astarion - he gets everything he wants and becomes who he truly is.

I'm going to start this with a disclaimer:

I work in the mental health field professionally and majored in Social & Behavioral Science, which is partly why I felt drawn to Astarion as a sort of case study. Characters rooted in trauma are interesting to me and I enjoy picking them apart to judge how real it feels. I utilize my educational and professional background to essentially guide how I write Astarion on this account.

That said, despite me being a professional in the field, all of what I have to say is my personal opinion and interpretation of Astarion's character based on how I interpret the material Larian gave us and the material that can be found in DND lore. Even in real life, things have variation and not all mental health struggles (getting over trauma is part of mental health) present the exact same way. There are theories that exist to try and explain some trends in mental health studies, psychology, and sociology, but again they're called theories for a reason.

Now, my response to this question will be under the cut and will include spoilers.

I know what lore in particular you're referencing, anon, because I've been going back to it a lot ever since I opened this account.

Astarion very much has an insecure attachment style born from his abuse at Cazador's hands. Specifically, an anxious-avoidant attachment type that leans more towards avoidant when he's first met and then begins to swing more towards anxious as he begins to get closer to Tav and the other companions.

Anxious-avoidant attachment types (also known as the “fearful or disorganized type”) bring together the worst of both worlds. Anxious-avoidants are not only afraid of intimacy and commitment, but they distrust and lash out emotionally at anyone who tries to get close to them. Anxious-avoidants often spend much of their time alone and miserable, or in abusive or dysfunctional relationships. Anxious-avoidants are low in confidence and less likely to express emotions, preferring to suppress them. However, they can have intense emotional outbursts when under stress. They also don’t tend to seek help when in need due to a distrust of others. This sucks because they are also incapable of sorting through their own issues. Anxious-avoidants really get the worst of both worlds. They avoid intimacy not because they prefer to be alone like avoidants. Rather, they avoid intimacy because they are so terrified of its potential to hurt them (Mark Manson, Attachment Styles and How They Affect Your Relationships).

Typically, most studies of Attachment Theory focus on the relationship of parents-children or romantic partners, but it can also be applied to any significant relationship someone has in their lifetime. Attachment styles thus are capable of changing based on new relationship experiences.

If you end up giving him the "good" ending where he denies the Ascension, it's implied in his final dialogue that he's actively working towards having a secure attachment type due to the influences of his fellow worm-afflicted associates - particularly Tav.

I think that it's important to also note that, even if Tav doesn't romantically connect with Astarion, he shows hints of desperately wanting someone to care for him, support him, and love him. He does want to know what sex would be like as something other than a tool, and especially what it would be like to actually want to have it just for the pure sake of enjoying having it.

You have to understand that Astarion doesn't even understand the concept of casual sex or friends with benefits. All those times he had to seduce people for Cazador was not casual sex or a friends with benefits situation. All of them were transactions with a means to an end. He got nothing out of seducing those victims besides the possibility of not incurring Cazador's wrath that night - but even then, there was still a possibility because Cazador was an abuser.

Abusers are incapable of providing genuine safety, but can manipulate their victims into believing an illusion of safety. Often times, they manipulate their victims into this by using phrases like "you made me do this by being disobedient", "it wouldn't come to this if you just did what you were told", and then weaponizing basic needs such as shelter, food, and social interaction. The bare minimum becomes something the victim is expected to be grateful for and viewed as a favor, which means anything beyond the bare minimum is expected to be viewed as a theatrical showing of care and love.

In game, Tav has the chance to hear Astarion tell the story of how Cazador turned him. He basically states that he got attacked by a mob due to a ruling he handed down when he was magistrate and then Cazador saved him and offered him immortality. It can be inferred that in his pre-vampiric days, Astarion had no idea that Cazador was abusive to his spawn.

This is likely because it seems that Cazador is careful about his public image. He doesn't allow his spawn to drink from humans, very likely not just as a means to further oppress them and dampen their potential power they could get from drinking people's blood, but also as a way to ensure there's not just a bunch of people out in the city being bitten and left alive to tell the story - or left dead on the street suspiciously.

He has his spawn seduce and lure people, particularly lower class people that would be harder for general society to realize is missing or just that he knows people who could actually challenge him wouldn't care for (you learn that reading some of the books and notes in Szarr Palace). The only exception to this is the kidnapping of Gur children, but even then it seems to fit his MO as it seems Gur are considered somewhat outcasts from the rest of Baldurian society due to their cultural differences.

It should also be noted that he himself doesn't do these seductions or kidnappings. He specifically chooses spawn to be his lackeys and that's likely so, if shit hits the fan and the spawn gets caught, he has deniability since he wasn't there. It's methodical and thought out to keep as many eyes away from him so he can still obtain what he wants and keep sailing under the radar.

Cazador is this methodical and purposeful as a result of his own trauma, which we learn about from the skull of his master in the dungeon of Szaar Palace. There's one interaction in particular with the skull in which Tav can learn that, at one point, Cazador attempted to rebel and usurp his master. Cazador failed and his master punished him via impalement. Not because Cazador had the audacity to try and usurp him, but because Cazador tried and failed. Cazador's master punished Cazador via torture because his master was disgusted by the fact that his spawn was too weak to succeed in such a plot.

Which brings me to my next point... it's not uncommon for victims of abuse to later become abusers. Hence the term Cycle of Abuse exists. Many abusers who were once victims often have the mentality of either "I'm not nearly as bad as my abuser was, they should be grateful I care enough to not be so bad" or "I survived and it made me tougher, they need to suck it up and let it help them build character" or both. They often fail to view their abuse as abuse and fail to recognize how their experience as abuse victims contributes into making them toxic and abusive to others.

There's many peer-reviewed scholarly articles you can find about the cycle of abuse, but one I particularly find useful is Editorial: Dissociation, and cycles of abuse across generations by David P.H. Jones. It talks specifically about parents and children, but I believe some of the general points made can be applied to Cazador and his spawn, as he crafts a very family-like setting that can be seen in the way that his spawn refer to one another as brothers and sisters.

This would thus make him the father figure, a role exponentially made important by the fact he denies his spawn education on things that could serve to give them ideas or the ability to leave him (for example, Astarion mentions that none of the spawn were permitted to learn about the language of the various symbols around the palace) and he consistently chooses his Golden Children (Favored Spawns) as a means of providing more false security. Do what he says, when he says, exactly how he says and don't complain then you will have benefits. You will be Favored, and to have his favor is the highest honor you could achieve.

Torture is clearly presented as Cazador's primary go-to for discipline. Research has also concluded that trauma has a way of affecting the brain and memories.

Trauma can prevent information (like words, images, sounds, etc.) from different parts of the brain from combining to make a semantic memory. The temporal lobe and inferior parietal cortex collect information from different brain areas to create semantic memory (The National Institute for the Clinical Application of Behavioral Medicine).

Astarion mentions a few times in-game that he can barely remember his life before Cazador, if at all, and a huge part of that is likely because of all the trauma Cazador inflicted upon him that exacerbated the natural occurrence of memory loss from aging (if vampires experience natural memory loss from aging, that is). This is most likely true for all of Cazador's spawn.

I say all this as a set up to truly answering you, anon, specifically where you say: "from being controlled, owned, and tortured to being free, curious, and even powerful. Becoming a full vampire and ascending just amplified that. It forced a self-actualization, not a descent into villainy."

I can argue that Astarion did not feel free up until after a decision to Ascend or not was made. And I argue that stance due to some dialogue he can have with Tav here he basically states that the power Ascension could guarantee that no one, even someone after Cazador is dead, could ever come in to oppress and hurt him again. Even with Cazador dead, he has such an intense fear of being enslaved and used that he turns to catastrophic thoughts as justification to why he needs to Ascend.

Catastrophic thinking is a cognitive distortion that occurs when people have a hard time weighing the likelihood of certain outcomes and believe that terrible or catastrophic outcomes—which are highly unlikely—become, in one’s mind, salient and extremely likely. (Tom Zaubler, MD, MPH).

Aside from the Gur, whom Astarion can manage to evade and even kill perfectly fine as just a spawn, we're not presented with any hints of another big bad in the vampire world that could possibly want Astarion. As such, there's not really any tangible threat, but rather a perceived threat that he believes is destined to darken his doorstep at any time.

His catastrophic thinking is a trauma response. His belief that he needs to be the most powerful being in the room as a way to be truly free is a trauma response. Cazador broke him down emotionally, mentally, physically, and sexually to make him believe that he was weak and trapped. Furthermore, that he remained trapped because he was too weak to do anything about it.

You see how this goes full circle into how Cazador's master punished Cazador for not being able to successfully usurp him? It places blame on the victim, allowing shame and helplessness to root that the abuser can manipulate. We know that Astarion definitely feels shame because he tells Tav that. For most of his dialogue until the boss fight, he's constantly bringing up that he did what Cazador wanted and acted obedient because he had no choice.

This is true, he had to act in self-preservation to survive and unfortunately that meant he had to be subservient. A few dialogue choices you can have your Tav pick can challenge Astarion and say he could have still tried, to which he'll rightfully tell Tav that Tav has no right to judge him for the choices he made to survive.

When Astarion encounters Sebastian in the dungeon, its made pretty obvious how much guilt and shame he truly feels. Furthermore, that for all Astarion's protesting and exclaiming that no one has the right to judge him, a part of him did believe that he didn't do enough to try and escape enslavement. A part of himself blamed himself and believed he allowed himself to be abused when, in reality, he was put in a horrible situation with very limited options. He did the best he could in the moment, with what information he had in those moments.

I also want to argue that who Astarion is when we meet him isn't his true self. It's who he had to become in order to survive Cazador. Astarion doesn't even know who his true self is because he didn't have the opportunity to explore his own likes and preferences. Cazador molded all of his spawn because he had a specific purpose for them.

Not only that, but since Cazador would have to more directly deal with these spawn since he used them as lackies, he also would have molded them to behave in ways to his preference so that he wouldn't find their presence unbearable and feel inclined to murder them out of annoyance. This is also where the Favored Spawn being separated and set on a pedestal comes into play. Those who could please him and play to his wants and needs had better benefits. If all of the spawn are acting in self-preservation, they would want to be favored and thus would want to adapt themselves to things Cazador liked and approved of.

This would mean learning to be cruel to those less fortunate and not doing anything as charity. This is the reason why Astarion approves of some questionable decisions Tav can make. Astarion learned his ideals and morality from Cazador because he had to so he could know how to please Cazador and stay in his master's good graces. After a while, even if you started off disagreeing, forcing yourself to act a certain way can become a habit that sticks with you. You convince yourself to enjoy it too so it's easier to swallow.

Astarion craves power because he knows that power is the quickest, easiest, and - what he believes - most effective way to prevent him from having to use that method ever again. It's logical to want power to solve that.

You said in your ask: "He wants to be powerful (protected by his own power too - his power being a means to self-preservation), he wants to be loved, seen, and free. Free of hunger, free to walk in the sun, free of Cazador. All these things are true regardless of the path you choose. But, they are all only attainable through ascension. When you ascend Astarion - he gets everything he wants and becomes who he truly is."

In the most literal of terms, yes, Ascension gives him all of those. However, since the basis of him believing he needs power to be free is rooted in fear, that's not actually really freedom. That is still his fear ruling over him.

There's a stark difference in what someone wants versus what they need. He wants power, to be seen, to be loved, and to be free. What he actually needs is security, stability, support, consistency, empathy, and autonomy. The things he wants is what he believes will solve the empty cups of what he needs, and he believes that because the only example he had on how to act to get what you want - until the events of the game - was Cazador. He literally had no other example of how to get your needs met except through selfishness, cruelty, force, manipulation, and abuse.

Again, I reiterate. The Astarion we first meet is not Astarion's true nature. Astarion's true nature was corrupted by his abuse from Cazador and the subsequent trauma that followed. If it had been his true nature, he would have happily been Cazador's subject because their true natures would have been in alignment.

It only becomes his true nature if he allows that trauma to define him and decides that he needs to embrace it rather than fight it. That is then what gets amplified because that fear that roots those wants becomes amplified.

Honestly, it's impossible to say what would be canon for Astarion because there's too many factors.

Studies have shown that having more supportive and positive influences, even if its later in life after leaving the abuser, tends to work in favor of the victim breaking the cycle of abuse. As such, I think that if you make a Tav who's core values are autonomy, consent, second chances, and redemption and somehow manage to get high enough approval that he'd even consider caring what they think; then its more likely that Astarion would reject Ascension due to observing how much softer, kinder, patient, and merciful Tav is.

But if its a Tav that has no interest in getting to know him beyond the surface or Tav doesn't exist at all, I honestly think he would end up going through with Ascension. Mostly because, to me, it seems like he didn't really bother to have more than surface level interactions with the other companions and the other companions really only ended up getting to know him better as a result to Tav managing to get past his masking. He does not lower his mask on his own accord, only after certain things are done and said by Tav.

Unfortunately, I just don't really think any of the other companions you can pick up in-game would really be able to provide support and determined consistency in the same way that players can make Tav. Hence I don't think he'd end up caring enough about any of them to ever start to think that perhaps freedom can be defined differently than the way he initially believes, and would view Ascension as the only right way to get his needs fulfilled.

#hc ; in one's blood #long post #bg3 spoilers #cw: trauma #cw: abuse #penned by grim ;#askbox ; blood oath

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auroras-void · 3 days

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I love Izutsumi dungeon meshi sm.

Like she's a catgirl so obv she was always going to instantly become my favorite character, but also I just relate to her a lot I think. It helps that she looks a lot like me irl but also it's deeper than that, and it's also a little odd because I think I relate her to my past far more than my present.

Like is it weird that this catgirl is actually just straight up replacing my memories of my pre transition self?

I hate past me bc they were a miserable bitch who was kinda a jerk to everyone, but now instead I just imagine past me as Izutsumi instead and I feel so much better about myself.

Like, yea she's immature and rude but it's just because because she's young and a little stupid, and so few people have tried to engage with her on an emotional level with compassion, and tried to understand her personal needs and idiosyncrasies.

And she hides because she's been taught to hide. She got given a name that pleased someone else instead of her, no ones ever really wanted her to be herself.

She lashes out at affection but it's because she doesn't know how to communicate her boundaries or advocate for herself yet, but deep down she still craves it like anyone else, maybe even more than most. She's not trying to be mean, she doesn't actually want to be like that, she's just scared and overwhelmed with the world and doesn't want to admit that she doesn't know how to do anything else.

Plus like, she's just a cat.

You can't honestly stay mad at a cat. They lash out sometimes yeah, they bite you, they scratch you, they hide from you, they built different from you, they got different needs and boundaries, and you'll get bit even more if you don't respect it, but like, they just do that, and you don't even need to understand why to know that they aren't any less worthy of love for being like that. You just do anyways, because just intuitively you already know deep down that all cats deserve love.

Like, honestly it's let me come to terms with my past and be so much gentler with myself for my failures. It softens the scorn I have for myself with all my childhood memories because I don't see that miserable little boy being a jerk anymore, I see this young catgirl who's trying her best but still just struggling with the lack of validation and understanding she's received, who still deserves that love and acceptance not just in spite of her angsty reactions, but *because* of them.

Not to mention how gender affirming it is to have someone else to imagine instead of myself. Like it helps a lot I think, because I get to see my past self for who she was on the inside all along instead of what others decided I was based on how they interpreted what they saw at my surface.

That boy in my memories doesn't exist to me anymore I think, it doesn't benefit me to keep that interpretation of me alive, and Izutsumi is the perfect replacement for him I think. In my mind I'll have always just been a catgirl like I am today.

And all cats deserve love.

#post #personal #dungeon meshi #izutsumi #catgirl #catgirlposting #trans #transfem #vent #adhdtism

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valentinetypewriter · 6 months

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Me And My Husband - Chapter 5

Taglist (let me know if you want to be on it: @ashlynnmalfoy @ashisabitgay @rainychaosmiracle @uarmysingularity @lafrone

Masterlist / Series Masterlist

Chapter 6

Summary: Barty is avoiding Y/n who is avoiding Sirius and Remus, teen drama at its best. But what happens when a certain someone's younger brother finds out who hurt his best friend

Warnings: swearing, teenagers are kind of dicks sometimes

Notes: sorry this jumps a lot between different characters, there was a lot of stuff I was excited to add into this chapter

Word count: 2,481

It had been two weeks since the Library incident, meaning it had been two whole weeks since Y/n last spoke to Barty. Though it wasn't by her own choice, no the Ravenclaw seemed to be avoiding her. Which is surprisingly easy when you aren't in the same house and share very few classes. Though Barty wasn't the only one avoiding people. Y/n herself had also been avoiding Sirius and Remus, much to a certain sandy haired boy's annoyance. For two weeks Remus had been trying to apologise to Y/n, which is very hard when said girl does nothing but glare right through him as if he didn't exist. What annoyed Remus more than being ignored by Y/n, was how unhelpful Sirius had been since that night in the library. Sirius had seemed more cruel towards her, making harsh remarks and jokes loud enough for the girl to hear. They always made James and Peter laugh, though Remus knew it was because they didn't understand the severity of their situation. And as much as Remus was angry with Sirius he couldn't pretend he himself was innocent, he was just as cruel to the friends of the poor girl who only wanted to get to know the two.

It was again that time of day when Remus would attempt another apology, he thought even if she didn't really want to accept his apology, It would eventually wear her down enough to do so. People didn't often seem to harbour guilt for things they believed were the right thing to do. So as soon as Remus saw the Slytherin girl he was looking for, and thankfully she was alone, he ran over to her calling out her name, making her stop dead in her tracks. With a roll of her eyes Y/n spun around to come face to face with one of the boys she'd been trying to avoid, unfortunately his constant harassment almost made her want to accept his apology so he'd just leave her alone. “What the hell do you want Lupin?” The girl asked in a cold and flat tone “I wanted to apologies for what happened in the library Y/n, I shouldn't have said any of those things” the girl scoffed at the tall boy “I agree, you definitely shouldn't have ever said those things to my friends, and I still don't forgive you” she turned to leave but stopped at the pathetically miserable noise Remus let out “Look Lupin it's been 14 days and you've apologised 32 times already, that's more than twice a day. So take a hint and leave me the fuck alone”.

She tried to leave, Remus though didn't like that and grabbed her wrist to stop her from leaving. She whipped her head back and tried pulling away from the tall boy “let go of me Lupin” her voice was cold and almost threatening. “Will you please just listen to me Y/n” the girl tried pulling away once more “I told you no, I don't-” Y/n was cut off by the hand around her wrist tightening, it felt as though her wrist would shatter under his grip “ow! Remus let go please, you're hurting me” her voice wavered and cracked, unable to hide her obvious fear of the boy's sudden change in behaviour. Y/n struggled more in his grip before finally getting free from the boy she assumed had major anger issues. “You know what, maybe my mother was right, you dirty half-bloods are all the same, don't try to talk to me again Lupin. I mean it!” Her voice edged away from the fear it held mere seconds ago to an icy and deep tone. Before the tanned boy could say anything else, Y/n turned around and finally walked off, leaving the boy alone and completely gutted.

“Merlin she's such an uptight bitch” Sirius said to the boy next to him, the said ‘uptight bitch’ he was referring to was none other than Y/n L/n. The only reason he was saying those things, was simply because after another rejection, Remus went sulking to his best friend. Said boy was currently buried under his thick blankets, sulking in his own self pity, Sirius never liked when his friends were upset, no matter what caused it. Sirius was also an incredibly impulsive person, which the two didn't mix very well. “You know what if she doesn't want to talk to you that's fine, I don't care anyway what someone like her thinks of either of us” his harsh words were followed by the loud noise of his stomping feet. Remus peeked his head out of his blanket just enough to see what the raven haired boy was up to, Sirius was currently shoving open the large window beside his bed.

The boy moved over to his bed picking up the enchanted green vase sitting on his bedside table, which for the past two weeks had been the only thing keeping the flowers alive. The angry boy made his way back over to the window, looking out before his attention was directed back to Remus “what are you doing?”. Sirius let out an annoyed huff “getting rid of this stupid thing, if she doesn't want to be ‘friends’ then I'm not going to keep some stupid reminder of her next to my bed” and with that he let the flowers drop out of the window, a quiet smash being heard a few seconds later. Sirius seemed to think that if he couldn't see it, it was no longer his problem. With that said and done, and the window now shut, the grey eyed boy left the room, his anger still burning. Remus just stayed laying in his bed staring up at his own vase, a small ache in his chest as he looked at them.

It had been an entire two days since Y/n was last harassed by Remus, it had been a good experience for the girl, quiet and less annoying. Though she couldn't feel too happy about it, she was still unable to get Barty to talk to her. Not even when she asked Evan and Regulus to help her so many times, he just seemed to avoid everyone and everything. It started with just not talking to her and the rest of their friends, then he was skipping a few meals here and there, and then he stopped showing up to the few classes they shared together, and he stopped going to any meals all together. Y/n heart ached for her friend, she only managed to get passing glimpses of him as he walked through the halls, but even from afar she could tell he didn't look good. Barty seemed more sickly looking, his skin was more pale than usual and he had dark bags under his eyes. Another thing she noticed was how his clothes had been seeming more baggy then his usual.

On the other hand the one thing she didn't seem to worry about was how rude Sirius was towards her recently, she couldn't care less about him or his stupid friend. Well that's what she was telling herself, but no matter how many times she thought that it didn't stop the gut wrenching feeling that twisted her stomach when she saw the green vase that once held flowers she gifted to Sirius, shattered against the ground. The once beautiful flowers were now dried up and dead. All she could do was stare at it thinking about how even though she was beyond angry with him, she never once had a thought to get rid of the gift he gave to her. But perhaps she was wrong to think that. Y/n looked down at her hand, the ring she once thought was pretty now left a sour taste in her mouth, she hated Sirius for that.

The next day when James left his room early for quidditch practice, he had tripped up on his way out, only just managing to catch himself on the door. Peter, who was a very light sleeper and woke up when his friend was getting ready, watched James with a slight bit of worry that was mostly covered by joy at watching his best friend ‘almost’ eat shit “you alright there Bambi?” The joy he felt was obvious in his tone “well I'm certainly awake now Pete” the two quietly laughed together, hoping to not wake up the other two sleeping boys. James looked down to the floor to find out what he tripped on, he was expecting it to be the rug that covered the hallway, thinking that it was probably pulled up by their door. What he saw though was what appeared to be a shoe box, the name Sirius written on the lid. The curly haired boy seemed to completely ignore the fact he had quidditch practice in 10 minutes. As he picked the book up off the floor, he brought it into his room and shut the door behind him.

“What's that?” Peter nodded towards the book James held “dunno, it's for Sirius” the two boys looked over at their sleeping friend “reckon we should wake him?” Peter asked unsure about what to do. James considered it for a few seconds before placing the box on the bedside table of said sleeping boy. He gently shook his friend awake “James I swear if you're asking me to come to your practice again, I'll punch you” James laughed at the tired boys insult “no no Siri, there was a box outside our door with your name on it, almost tripped over it” Sirius couldn't help but let out a tired laugh at his friends misery. “What's in the box?” James shrugged, pulling it off the table and handing it over to Sirius, who was now sitting up. Sirius gently opened the box as James watched over his shoulder, the box was filled with deep red tissue paper. Sirius pulled out the first few layers and felt his heart sink into his gut. In the box was a smaller wooden box, the same one decorated with stars he had gifted to Y/n. there was also a single yellow carnation, just starting to wilt around the edges and seemed to droop slightly when held up. But what made the sad feeling in his stomach bubbled into pure dread was the dark green jewellery box, Sirius knew what sat inside, it was obvious. It was decorated with a crest and motto he was all too familiar with ‘Toujours Pur’. A sick part of him hoped it was a joke, that if he opened the box he'd find nothing but a note, explaining how it was just a cruel prank. He clung to that hope as he slid the box open, the beautiful ring seemed to gleam even in the dim room.

“Wow looks like someone has a secret admirer; some kind of trinket, a flower and even an expensive looking ring” James said as his hand landed on Sirius's shoulder. Peter stood up from his desk, walking over to check out the contents of the gift “holy shit that looks incredibly expensive, whoever it was seems to like you a whole lot” James nodded in agreement “yeah I mean not even my dad got mum something that expensive” Sirius just let out a strained laugh, the two boys just assumed he was nervous about the very pricey display of affection. “hmm, yeah that must really like me” with that Sirius packed the stuff back away into the box and slid it under his bed “well it's a Saturday, so I'm going back to sleep, and I, hopefully, won't wake up until mid-day, have a good practice Prongs” the boy threw himself back down onto his bed, pulling the sheet over him. James and Peter shared a smile, unaware of how miserable their friend was.

Though Sirius wasn't the only miserable one, Y/n herself was also sulking. Though instead of inside the confines of her room she was sat on the top floor of the Astronomy tower, no one ever came to a place meant for stargazing during the day, so it meant she would be left alone. Well mostly, the only other person who would ever think to even come here during the day, let alone on the weekend, was Regulus. After all it was the place they met, it was always the place the both of them went to if they were upset about something. Reglus slowly moved towards the crying girl, gently placing his hand on her back as he sat down next to her “oh mon chéri, what's wrong?” His voice was soft and gentle, his hand rubbing up and down against her back to soothe the girl. “It's just Barty still won't talk to me, no matter how hard I try and it's all Sirius's fault” the small boy froze up, his face hardening at the thought of his brother hurting his friend “what did my brother do to him” Y/n sniffled and looked up at Regulus, her sad eyes full of tears “he said such horrible things to him, and so did his stupid half-blood friend Lupin” she wiped her eye before continuing “they called him all sorts of things, like a pathetic Ravenclaw, and a pathetic pureblood, they even had the audacity to call him Evans pet bird” she shook her head “and then Sirius had the brilliant idea to throw out those stupid flowers I got him, and I mean literally, he threw them out of a window I think” Regulus eyebrows furrowed, he was beyond angry, violent thoughts of yelling at his brother filled his mind. “And after that I gave him back that god awful ring, if he can't respect me or my friends, then I simply refuse to marry him”.

The boy's face instantly relaxed as his eyes shot down to Y/n's left hand, and sure enough, the ring was nowhere to be seen. Quickly his thoughts of him yelling at Sirius was replaced by thoughts of his mother, she'd be beyond furious if she found out he ruined the engagement. He was so incredibly angry at Sirius, how dare he hurt two of his best friend's who never did anything to him, how dare he hurt them so much they stopped hanging around each other, that they both stopped smiling as much, that they cried harder than he'd ever seen before. Regulus wanted Sirius to feel the pain his friends felt, and he knew just how to do so. “Don't worry, I'll make sure to take care of him for you alright, he won't hurt you again,I promise Y/n” the young girl leant into his arms, tears starting to pour down her face again.

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hollowed-theory-hall · 1 month

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Hi! Really enjoyed the Harry is gay post, very well researched! Are there any other characters in the series you would also think are gay? Don't wanna say anyone just yet, just want your unfiltered opinion

Hi!

Thank you so much!

Can't say I have other characters I feel as strongly about their sexual preferences. A large part of it is what Harry chooses to pay attention to. So, I don't have much evidence for anyone else, but I can say who I think is likelier to be gay (or at least not straight) from textual evidence. Some of them go into headcanon territory, but here they are, off the top of my head and in no particular order:

1. Dumbledore and Grindelwald

I'm pretty sure these two are canon, so I don't need to say much. But:

“Yes, even after they’d spent all day in discussion—both such brilliant young boys, they got on like a cauldron on fire—I’d sometimes hear an owl tapping at Gellert’s bedroom window, delivering a letter from Albus! An idea would have struck him, and then he had to let Gellert know immediately!”

(DH, pages 308-309)

Gellert— .... (This was your mistake at Durmstrang! But I do not complain, because if you had not been expelled, we would never have met.) Albus

(DH, pages 309)

“Grindelwald. And at last, my brother had an equal to talk to someone just as bright and talented he was. And looking after Ariana took a backseat then, while they were hatching all their plans for a new Wizarding order and looking for Hallows, and whatever else it was they were so interested in.

(DH, pages 480)

2. Sirius Black

I think Sirius might've been gay, or at least bi. It goes into headcanon territory, but I think Sirius used to be in love with James. He just always gave me that vibe. (I don't think they were ever a thing, I think Sirius took his feelings for James with him to his grave).

Here are some quotes that gave me the feeling Sirius is not interested in anyone but James:

Harry saw Sirius give James the thumbs-up. Sirius was lounging in his chair at his ease, tilting it back on two legs. He was very good-looking; his dark hair fell into his eyes with a sort of casual elegance neither James’s nor Harry’s could ever have achieved, and a girl sitting behind him was eyeing him hopefully, though he didn’t seem to have noticed.

(OOTP, page 642)

“He kept messing up his hair,” said Harry in a pained voice. Sirius and Lupin laughed. “I’d forgotten he used to do that,” said Sirius affectionately.

(OOTP, page 670)

Plus, Sirius' general fixation on James and his constant reminiscence about him. And the two-way mirror they made just for them cause they couldn't handle an hour apart in detention:

This is a two-way mirror. I’ve got the other. If you need to speak to me, just say my name into it; you’ll appear in my mirror and I’ll be able to talk in yours. James and I used to use them when we were in separate detentions.

(OOTP, page 858)

But we don't really know about any romantic interests Sirius may have had. So, it's more of a headcanon than anything.

3. Dean Thomas

I think Dean Thomas is bi (not gay, I think he did like Ginny). And I have only one qoute evidence for it, but it's a really funny one and I don't think I've seen anyone mention it so I'll put it here:

He certainly wasn’t the only one who was sorry to see Professor Lupin go. The whole of Harry’s Defense Against the Dark Arts class was miserable about his resignation. “Wonder what they’ll give us next year?” said Seamus Finnigan gloomily. “Maybe a vampire,” suggested Dean Thomas hopefully.

(POA, page 429)

Dean Thomas clearly read whatever 1990s version of Twilight that exists in the HP universe and wants a love triangle paranormal romance with a werewolf and a vampire.

4. Draco Malfoy

I think he was a little too obsessed with Harry. Like, I don't actually ship Drarry, but I can definitely confess Draco was way too interested in Harry for it to not appear a little gay.

He rummaged in his trunk up in the luggage rack and pulled out the miniature figure of Viktor Krum. “Oh wow,” said Neville enviously as Ron tipped Krum onto his pudgy hand. “We saw him right up close, as well,” said Ron. “We were in the Top Box —” “For the first and last time in your life, Weasley.” Draco Malfoy had appeared in the doorway. Behind him stood Crabbe and Goyle, his enormous, thuggish cronies, both of whom appeared to have grown at least a foot during the summer. Evidently they had overheard the conversation through the compartment door, which Dean and Seamus had left ajar. “Don’t remember asking you to join us, Malfoy,” said Harry coolly.

(GOF, page 168)

Draco literally comes to find Harry on the train, uninvited, every year (except 6th). Throughout their time at school, he also makes an active effort to seek out Harry to a level that is kind of ridiculous. It always looked to me like Draco was desperate for any sort of attention from Harry.

Harry looked down at the hawthorn wand that had once belonged to Draco Malfoy. He had been surprised, but pleased to discover that it worked for him at least as well as Hermione’s had done.

(DH, page 444)

Considering how loyal unicorn hair wands like Draco's are, it seems Dravo feels more friendly about Harry than he likes to pretend.

5. Aunt Muriel

It sounds weird, I know, but I have a reason here. So, Muriel is from the same generation as Dumbledore, more or less, from her words in DH. And we know, back then she had expectations to marry and have children as a (seemingly) pure-blood witch. Those expectations would've been prevalent when she was a young woman in the early 20th century, even among the less blood-purist families.

The fact that she didn't seem to have settled down with a husband and children implies she wasn't interested in doing so. This allows a reading of her as either interested in women or not interested in sex or marriage in general.

6. Alphard Black & Cassiopeia Black

For the same reasons as Muriel. Neither Cassiopeia (born 1915) nor Alphard, Sirius' godfather (born circa 1927-ish) married or had children. This is something that would be expected of them, so the reading of them as not straight is very plausible.

So, that's it. These are all the characters that off the top of my head I could give textual evidence for a not straight reading of. I don't have as much evidence, and that's why I consider this more headcanon than theory. Obviously, people can headcanon wherever, these are just the ones that I could recall evidence for.

#harry potter #harry potter thoughts #hp #hp thoughts #hollowedheadcanon #asks #anon asks #anonymous #sirius black #dean thomas #draco malfoy #albus dumbledore #gellert grindelwald #alphard black #cassiopeia black #aunt muriel #hp headcanon

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exstasyplague · 9 months

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My analysis/view on SatoSugu ☆

Some disclaimers: I am a fanfic author and I do personally ship the two yet I will try to keep my thoughts as objective as possible for the sake of this post. I will include my perosnal points of view as well but 'll keep them separated from the "canon facts." Contains manga spoilers.

Are they gay?

This is a funny question yet it's the best way to start in my opinion. Short answer: they don't fit inside a label. I think the best word to describe their bond is intimate. Emotionally, it's at a place in the middle of love and appreciation and I don't think this balance is constant, sometimes it might have leaned more to one side, sometimes more to another. From an emotional point of view, they could very well be in a platonic situation.

The physical aspect is not a detrimental side for either of them in regards to one another. What makes their connection so special is the fact that it happened before Gojo Satoru became officially the strongest, before he was burdened with so many things. However, he was never free. The beginning of his very existence caused a deep disturbance within the Jujutsu world. For Satoru there was never a childhood, there was never a normal life, only a path of emptiness.

Gege is good at making his characters. Especially the villains/ good guys parallels. Just how Yuji came to the realization that he is Mahito and Mahito is him, the same parallel is drawn between Gojo and Sukuna, only Sukuna is what Gojo would've been without Geto. Both the strongest sorcerers, the difference is that Satoru got surrounded by love and his mentality evolved from "the weak ones are pathetic, I don't want to look after them" to "I will push everybody up along with me through teaching and have pupils even stronger than me, allies."

Back in highschool, Gojo was young and somewhat arrogant. His power was like a blanket for him; despite not understanding Geto's philosophical things and not agreeing with them, Gojo also, unintentionally, gave a meaning to the things happening to him "I am the strongest."

Even in the current ongoing fight (Sukuna vs Goatjo), the panels sometimes speak about love, but not in the way we would normally think; it's about the feelings of the strongest, different from the perception of average folks like us. Nurture vs Destruction.

Gojo had the power of being evil without any repercussions. Being the strongest, nothing could hurt him. He always showed his compassion towards Riko through small gestures, such as staying more at the beach, teasing her etc. Him wanting to go on a killing rampage under the pretext of 'not feeling anything' was Gojo's way of showing his disgust at the fact that hundreds of people were celebrating the death of an innocent girl. Being the strongest didn't matter. She was dead.His conviction shattered. However, he had so much trust in Geto's morality and mentality that he followed his advice. That is the kind of person he was for him. Even in Jjk 0, Suguru said that he didn't think Satoru would have any trust left for him— he did.

The only one who could understand him, speak with him, treat him like a human. His one and only. Gojo liked the fact that they were the strongest together because he also had someone to lean on.

In the manga, Naoya, the head of a powerful branch of the Zen'in clan talks about Toji. He said that as a child, he expected him to be a miserable man since he had 0 cursed energy yet when he saw how powerful and proud he was he got scared of him. He mentions that the only one being able to understand Toji was Gojo.

Only... Gojo is stronger. Toji couldn't understand him, he called him a monster. He got drowned in petty feelings characteristic to what Sukuna would call weakness and got himself killed.

Gege also mentioned in an interview that he wanted to give his characters abilities similar to Bankai (Gege legit started making manga because of Bleach, what a God) Bankai is a reflection of the soul in Bleach projected onto the swords of the Shinigami. Same with Domain Expansions in JJK. Gojo's literally repels everybody around him, it's called Infinite Void and it shows the way in which he looks at the world and views himself. Untouchable. Out of reach. An overflow of information.

Even if Bleach is a pretty stereotypical Shonen creation (don't get me wrong, I love it but the plot is pretty basic) when the protag. Ichigo was fighting against the main big powerful villain, Aizen, he said that he could feel Aizen's sword wavering with loneliness. This very concept applies to the powerful peaks of Jujutsu Kaisen. The path of power is lonely. Kenjaku himself said that Gojo is truly in his element when he is fighting on his own, the ones around him can become a liability really quickly. This of course, when it's about fights where he has to put in some efforts. That's why nobody is interfering with his Sukuna duel.

Satoru started being truly alone after Suguru left.

Another waver of his conviction. But this time, not only about not being strong enough. He didn't do enough. Ever since Gojo unlocked his techniques and became powerful, he wasn't allowed to be human anymore. He had to do mission after mission, take over the missions unfinished by others, he was expected to do everything and be the saviour of the Jujutsu World. With Suguru, he was human. Yet, just as Suguru said 'it was a busy summer'. No more space for one another.

Geto was also strong. A special grade. He too became lonely.

For Sugru, having a meaning was fundamental. His cursed technique was a constant reminder of how awful non-sorceres are. He would eat their malice, who tasted like a cloth wiped in puke and shit and whereas he understood Satoru, nobody understood him. He himself said that nobody has any idea just how bad curses taste.

When Itadori was eating Sukuna's fingers in the beginning, he would choke, cough complain a lot. Geto had over 2000 curses. He had exorcised and ingested again and again and again. The only humanity around him was Satoru, his best friend. And that got taken away by the Jujutsu world and he remained alone with his own despair. He went on his own path, feeling useless and misunderstood, still viewing Satoru as a friend but also as a term of comparison. He got left without meaning and so he forged himself a new one. He became really similar to Sukuna, with no regard for the ones beneath him, the monkeys. But also, ironically enough, Suguru stopped being the strongest. He viewed himself as weak. He doomed himself. He wanted to feel necessary— he was desperate. He thought he was saving the Jujutsu world.

They were probably meant for tragedy. And that's the sad part. Satoru would've outgrown him regardless but maybe Suguru wouldn't have chosen such a radical path. Toji's existence, an anomaly, broke the flow of their fate. (approx quote from manga) That's why he is more relevant to the story than people believe. Sure, he is sexy as fuck but Toji is literally the beginning and the end of an era, he is everything.

Gojo's second waver pushed him to become a teacher. He had grown and chose a smart path, preserving the youths, the future; no more mass murder. Suguru remained stagnant with his hatred and eventually died. For him, I'd say his life stoped the moment Riko died. His potential as a sorcerer came to a plateau. Everything came to an end so it was only a matter of time before his body died as well.

Back on Gojo's humanity. The funny thing is that this point was proven by the readers of the manga themselves, lol. When Satoru got sealed, he got shat on hardcore. Like, you can't imagine. Reddit and Discord servers were eating his ass up worse than they do now with Sukuna for using Mahoraga. Gojo got blamed for Nanami and Kugisaki (rip my angels, still praying for Nobara), he got blamed for Sukuna taking over Megumi and probably he blames himself too— what "mistake" did he make? Showing humanity when being met with the corpse of his best friend, his only catalyst, his only balance, the only one to ever make him feel normal and give him his Blue Spring, the most beautiful moments of his life. And Kenjaku knew that Suguru's corpse was the only thing to make Satoru waver. In the manga it's clearly stated that despite more than one minute having passed in his mind, physically he stood still for 6 seconds. Even his most regretfull, sorrowful crisis lasted him an inhumane amount of time.

And Gojo too, was the only thing that caused the remaints of Suguru's soul to attempt strangling Kenjaku. (which he admits has never happened before. and suguru is dead— gojo literally triggered the residues of his soul). That's what I mean by intimate.

Even if the concept of soul is often spoken about, their souls are connected. That's how much they mean for eachother.

Perosnally I find this relationship to be perfectly beautiful as it is, without any flaunt of erotica needed, kudos to Gege. I still enjoy writing angst and smut based on their dynamic tho XD. And I don't agree with the ones calling them straight and being so eager to deny them or resume this deep connection to just friends. Like sure, they are not gay-gay but they are... linked. More than friends, more than family. Gege themself said so when speaking about them. I think it's a very clear statement.

If you like the way I think and view characters, check my fics, lol. Much love <33 exstasyplague on A03.

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silusvesuius · 3 months

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Your Depiction of Ulfric is literal perfection. I’ve never seen anyone who sees him in a similar way to me, until I found your account last year. I fucking love miserable old man Ulfric who could never catch a break since the day he was born. Every major event in his life (he can’t even decide which one’s the worst) shaped him in the worst yet most interesting way possible. I can’t speak enough about him, his messed up self esteem clashing with his ego, his repressed emotions and sexuality, his shattered image of his own body and mind, the constant loud arguments between the voices in his head (mostly just him arguing with hallucinations) *I’m definitely not projecting here* his unstable mood, his flashbacks and his odd obsessions with random harmful patterns he associates with familiarity. Because to him familiar=safe even if he’s basically only familiar to a constant state of worry and feeling like he’s being targeted or hunted down.

None of this seems to be getting better, at least not in a notable speed. Yet they’re all existing within a strong and powerful man. It’s quite the combination, he’s being weighted down by all of that baggage but his back is too strong to bend. He appears as if he has nerves of steel from the outside, but really if anything is made of steel in his mind, it’s the vessel that he uses to bottle all of that trauma up.

I already had a vague idea of his complicated relationship (obviously) with Elenwen but your version literally felt like it opened my third eye. It is scrumptious and your art is so beautiful it depicts every essence of it all perfectly without even needing to include words. I fell in love with it at first sight.

dis answer is kinda long so i'm (crumpling it up and tossing it under the cut)

Omg wtf Thank you's 🥺🥺🥺💕💕💕💕 this is so well put together into words; i will do 9543 backflips for demented ulfric always. i've grown to like him in canon too cause he really has that, wouldn't even call it deceitful, weirdly-content personality.. but i don't think anyone in the writing room in sk*rim HQ knows how to write a character that has been through Anything, event of any kind, so he seems too 'perfect' for a person that has been through literal physical torture, to me, and his reactions to things that should be greatly upsetting are too mild. even though him being elenwen's victim is a piece of information that's easy to miss it seems like it also completely slipped out of the writing IOFDHDJFUIO LOL.. it all obviously adds up to him seeming more appealing as a fashie character to the audience, cus a visibly mentally unwell man wouldn't do it for most people, especially when you want to sway someone to be on his side of things.

i think it's quite smart for the st*rmcloaks to be presented as the more warm and welcoming types of people but ulfric should be the coldest of them all. Bro shouldn't even have the mental and physical capacity to seem Content with his life especially in that moment. he should be the type to use his civil war motivations as an excuse to stay alive if that makes sense, cause i don't think he really wants to live, but he has things to do to keep his mind and hands busy xchkvcjcvkl//

i also really love how ulfric only has galmar as someone he's really close to, it always seemed beyond genius to me, to write them like that, it's cute... he rly is the only person to suffer thru 4 hours of ulfric Peak psychosis monologue followed by 2 hours of trying to prove to him that th*lmor and imperial soldiers aren't hiding in the chests and under the beds of the palace LMFAOO galmar is the one guy who he can sob in front of and act like a little baby fishing for compliments and reassurance, and, not all that related to ulfric as a whole, but i strongly believe that having him be so vulnerable with galmar would make galmar really excited, it would make him feel good, like no other damsel in distress could deliver that feeling EVER. having such a seemingly-strong political figure rely on you Badly and madly would feel like something else entirely 💗 it's very off-putting and perhaps inappropriate of him to feel that way when ulfric is just searching for stability, but i think that even if ulfric knew galmar felt that way he wouldn't really gaf LOL. he'd turn to elenwen if there was no one else to go to cause he 'knows' her, and he'd torment elisif cause he 'knows' her as well.. but he would be completely closed off from making connections with other people 🏆

+ bonus; elenwen's feelings for him would border on everything at once, like, every type of relationship and connection that ever exists.. she really views him as the food she left over in the fridge and will get to eat when she's back from work as a reward

tl;dr him being scarier and more .. unkempt? from the outside would make him even cooler tbhs. he should become christian and develop religious OCD

#ask #i love herrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr (him)#him just lashing out at everyone would just be cute *audience Aww sfx*

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justatalkingface · 11 months

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I have to say, I've always been a fan of the idea of Kirishima being Izuku's best friend, rather than Bakugo's. I just think the two work off each other as the "extrovert trying to get his introverted friend to come out of his shell more" better than his and Bakugo's "I can fix him" one.

Plus, both have experience dealing with bullies and trying to defend the helpless from said bullies. Hell, Kirishima would commend Izuku for sticking it out all the way through, whereas he needed Mina's help with his. I really think Kirishima would be a great motivator for Izuku to get stronger and to voice his opinions more. If Izuku was having an especially bad day, I see Kirishima being the type to say,

"Hey man, don't put yourself down like that. You're one of the strongest, manliest guys I know. Even up there with All Might and Crimson Riot. Come on, lets head to the gym to get your mind off things. I'll spot ya."

Kirishima would provide so much positivity and motivation to improve, that I feel Izuku would only come out better with him as his main homie. Not to mention it would give Kirishima even more screentime, which I would love.

Though admittedly, my love of Kirishima is also why I hate that Hori paired him with Bakugo. My man deserves a better homie than that asshat.

...You know, when you look at Kirishima as, like, a character that someone put in a story, rather than as a person, there's something weird about him. You know what it is? Kirishima is basiclly Izuku. He's Izuku if he had a 'mediocre' Quirk; a bit of a coward at the start of his story, with self doubt, but he still genuinely wants to help people, and forces himself to grow and push farther when he decides to apply to UA. And when you strip to the bare bone themes like that, it's Izuku's story, without Bakugou and the Quirklessness there making his life miserable.

And, with that in mind, and that one comment Hori (apparently) made, that Izuku was supposed to be sad that Bakugou took Kirishima's hand... it feels like Kirishima was made, or at least given development, for Bakugou. Like, Kirishima and Bakugou is the friend dynamic of Bakugou with Izuku that so many people want them to have, what fanfic stories are written for, what people in story apparently (god knows why) seem to think they have, and when you look it that way it's... interesting. It's a very interesting choice to me.

Like, Hori apparently (I can't cite any of this Hori shit) regrets how far Bakugou went in the first chapter; it makes me wonder if, like, Kirishima is his wish fulfillment in that sense? Like, he's imagining a version of the manga where Bakugou came in with a lot less baggage, and that dynamic is him doing that sort of friendship without actually changing the story?

On the other hand, though, I'd have to be blind to that dynamic seems to exist to soften up Bakugou's image, to show that he's not all that bad, without really making him improve actively.

Regardless, no matter how you look at it, in a meta, 'why does this character exist' kind of way, Kirishima literally seems to be in the manga only for Bakugou's sake. I mean, his friendship (or 'friendship' maybe) with Bakugou, isn't helping him beyond giving him more screen time. And your right, it's a shame, because he and Izuku would get along really well.

Part of it, of course, is that they exist in a similar kind of positive wavelength, both being really wholesome people. Kirishima is really outgoing, and it seems natural that he would try to reach out to Izuku, who canonly is almost pathetically grateful for even the tiniest smidge of even vaguely positive interactions, especially at the start, much less someone just flat out being nice to him. Meanwhile, Izuku is naturally supportive, and would be great for Kirishima in turn, supporting him on his low confidence moments and encouraging him to be more confident about his Quirk and his own abilities.

Overall, it's a firm foundation for a good, wholesome friendship, one that would easily continue to continue on even when both of them eventually grow past their own doubts, and something that'd be nice to see, but by the time Kirishima got any characterization, he was already set up for Bakugou, and of course we could dilute that dynamic with him doing something else.

#mha critical #bnha critical #ask #bakugou critical #izuku deserves better #kirishima deserves better #the fact kirishima seems to exist only for bakugou's benefit is a waste

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dayurno · 5 months

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do you have any thoughts about the way thea was handled? ever since nora has been more active on twt (and mentioned the hate thea gets) people have been sort of insistent about Always Having Liked Her Actually and it irks me a lot, because imo people SHOULD be upset at the fact that kevin (who has been abused all his life and has trauma regarding the nest) has a gf who's from that same environment but 1. doesn't seem all that concerned about getting better / helping kevin get better 2. shouts at him in the only scene they're in together 3. isn't even described as a particularly good presence in the extra content explaining their past 4. this is just a horrible cherry on top but she's 5 years older and they met when he was 14 :/// like if anything i think this has a lot to do with nora not having been kind to kevin (which she also recently admitted to) like damn can he get one thing in life that's just good for him. one safe haven. jesus

short answer: i think thea as a character has been done the worst by nora sakavic, and the lack of care she was shown is in line with how all for the game treats its other characters of color.

long answer: most of my thoughts about how thea was handled are less about thea the character itself and more about her throwaway appearance and the overall lack of interest the author had when writing her. thea's a widely hated character for many reasons, not all of them valid, and a big one is that she was shoved into the narrative at one of the very last few chapters and paired up with one of the most important characters with very little thought or effort. we don't get even a hint of her existance before her appearance, and her one scene does not gather her sympathy because what we know of her is that she's an unrepentant raven (arguably the series' most evident villains) and what we see of her is a moment of great anger, that, even if ignorant, mimics the hostility most of the other ravens had towards kevin/the foxes during the trilogy

this is all to say: i don't like the way thea was written, and i think, especially, that it was a bad optic to write a black woman whose only scene is her being hostile towards her love interest. i need you to know that i'm not saying thea was not right to be angry, or that thea should've flown in and nursed kevin's mental health as soon as she could — both because it's out of character and because it's ridiculous —, but i am saying that she was not afforded almost anything as a character, in both terms of humanity and screentime. this is nothing new with how aftg treats its characters of color, and it is very telling that the characters who get the most flack (namely nicky and thea and riko) are the core of the non-white cast. thea and riko are not afforded complexity; nicky is a constantly flamboyant brown man whose only purpose is to wrangle his cousins and deliver friendship-related one liners to neil. this is why nora sakavic's refusal to comment on them grates on me, and why the new wave of adoration for the series with no nuance suffocates all of the real criticism done by fans of color in the last ten years.

and here's a personal answer: thea's future breaks my heart just as much as kevin's does, because she is also a victim of cultist mentality, and she never breaks out of it. i have no doubts in my heart that the nest was cruel to her, and her unflinching loyalty to the ravens until the end saddens me because it is a terrible existence when all is said and done. thea will not play exy forever, and by the time she has to retire, she will be just as miserable as kevin was. i don't know if she'll ever acknowledge how awful the ravens were either to her or to kevin — i don't know if she'll *want* to, because it is hard to do all that work, and it will leave her deeply scarred to realize most of it was not necessary to her sucess —, but i hope she does, and i hope that on that day, she will be able to decide for herself where to go from there.

#re: kevthea i dont think their relationship would be terrible but it would not stand for long #and i think kevin is as much of a comfortable choice for her as she is for him #but that is about as personal of an opinion as when i think kevallison wouldn't work well together #what i wish for thea is a better writer and a better fandom and a better series #but as i cannot change this i will tell u that thinking about how badly she was handled upsets me #and i hope (pray) that she finds a better man than kevin. who is probably not so obsessed with exy. and who could help her deal with #what kevin could not help her with #welcome to the world of the living theodora muldani!#asks #thea #kevin #kevthea

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hyperactivewhore · 6 months

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Hello, so a couple of things I wanted to address regarding your takes on Hope and the Mikaelson family. So, I don't take anything from TO or Legacies as face value. I didn't even watch Legacies, because I was over TVD universe by that point. And I didn't even finish TVD or TO, because of how unbearingly bad they got. But I know enough about how the rest of the show turned out to give my take on things too.

For a show that was supposed to be centered around redeeming Klaus and Hope being the source of redemption for the Mikaelson family, the writers failed miserably in that aspect. For one, they rewrote history, retconned their entire backstory, and made the characters incredibly out of character. Worst thing the writers could've done. There was no redemption or character development whatsoever for anyone. In fact, everyone got worse and became more unlikable as the seasons went on.

You're saying Rebekah and Freya would've been terrible mothers and claiming that they were bitter, jealous, and resentful of Hope or even of their own kids, when we never saw anything that supports that notion. And it's unfair you single out the women in the Mikaelson family, but say nothing whatsoever about the Mikaelson men, who were just as unfit and unstable to be a parent or have any child under their care. How do you justify saying Rebekah and Freya would've been bad mothers, but justify Klaus and Hayley's shitty parenting?

If we're gonna call a spade a spade, Hayley was the very definition of a terrible mother. She constantly endangered herself and Hope while she was pregnant and even after she gave birth and just pawned her kid off to Eve or whoever else to involve herself in dangerous situations she really had no business getting involved in, when she could've been there with Hope. Same with Klaus, he most definitely wasn't father of the year. And there's also all the times they neglected Hope as a baby countless times and would often leave her alone during the most dangerous situations too.

If Rebekah and Freya didn't deserve to be mothers or to have a chance at a normal human life, Hayley and Klaus deserved it even less. Overall, I don't get why you or anyone else are so surprised at the Mikaelsons turning out to be deadbeats and abandoning Hope, when their entire family history and dysfunctional family dynamic speaks for itself. You even pointed it out yourself, that the Mikaelson family are unstable. So, why so surprised at this outcome? What else did you expect? And that's the epitome of why having a spinoff about the Mikaelsons centered around a baby of all things failed miserably. It was the worst mistake the writers could've made and the worst route the writers could've gone.

I'll make sure to let this clear for anyone who decides to read through: I didn't finish The Vampire Diaries, I only got to watch season five before the plot bored me and I just watched season one and half of season two of Legacies, but I have read enough over the years and I know all that happens in the three shows, what characters appear and etc.

Is funny how you complain about the Mikaelson and company being "out of character" as if they hadn't been already ooc in season three. Klaus loved witches and the writers completely erased that from his character because recognizing it would mean having him go for Bonnie. Caroline was mean before turning into a vampire, and if they had followed the established lore and canon of vampirism, she would have been just worse than she was as a human instead of the preppy girl she turned into. They completely trashed Elena's character to have her fall for Damon and forget about Stefan, so the fact that you're complaining about this sounds like just an excuse to shit on both shows.

I don't know why you're so pressed about Hope's existence. I have never said she was her family's redemption, I have always said she wasn't and that it was completely unfair of Elijah to put that burden on a baby. She was a plothole and I have stated that her character shouldn't have been made no matter how loved she is. But saying she had no impact on her family is stupid: Hope didn't made them stop being monsters, that's true, but she played a big part on making them change themselves.

Her existence forced her father to stop seeing only for himself, she united Klaus and Rebekah after they literally tried to kill each other by making Bex look after her when she was only a baby, Elijah finally stopped taking his brother's side in everything and she made their toxic codependent relationships slightly better. But at the end of the day, Hope was just a kid and a kid would never erase a thousand years of trauma, abuse and toxicity. It's true, she wasn't her family's redemption but she's the only reason why they stopped being shitty to each other.

There is evidence of why Rebekah would be a bad mother, just see how she behaves around children/teenagers. Marcel was ten and she groomed him, the moment her niece grew up and she couldn't play house with her any longer she left her in the dust, all while remembering how she spent "glorious months covered in dirt" because she spent less than a year with her as a baby and that is what she wanted, a baby, not a child, and just look at how she acted with Elena and Caroline. Rebekah was jealous of both of them, she was jealous of Hayley and Freya herself even made a joke about how she would be jealous of their own niece - it was about how she would stay nineteen forever hence beauty forever, but my point remains.

Rebekah would be a bad mother as far as we know in canon because everything suggests that. She's a child herself, just seventeen and her brain isn't even fully developed yet: she's easily jealous, tends to have emotional issues and has a low self esteem. What would be weird is that she wouldn't be jealous and a bad mother to her child, not otherwise. I love her, but she is a bad person and doesn't deserve to be a mom.

Freya is literally the same. She was traumatized with the child she lost and she viewed him/her on Hope, but she never gave a damn about making sure her seven years old niece didn't grow up traumatized and she completely forgot about her the moment Nik was born so yes, this information is enough for me to think she would be a bad mother. And look at what she did to Davina, who was barely eighteen.

The Mikaelson didn't and still don't deserve a normal happy life simply because they aren't good persons. They would be shitty parents, the two canon parents we have (Klaus and Freya) are bad parents and they don't even know how to behave around teenagers.

Saying Hayley is a bad mother is wild. Did you want her to stay home with Jackson while her daughter's family was being attacked every time they breathed? Hayley never put herself in a dangerous situation while pregnant willingly, it was always people coming after her and their child because she was carrying a Mikaelson kid. I don't know how she "pawned" her kid to somebody else to go help the Mikaelson, she was fighting with them because once again, they were Hope's family. She made some shitty choices, yes, but she was stuck in the most dangerous family to ever exist and the only way out was death: she never had the chance to decide if she actually wanted to have Hope. Both Elijah and Klaus forced it on her, they never asked her if she wanted an abortion and it was quite clear she would have died if she tried getting one.

I guess you pulled all of this information from your ass, because I never justified Klaus’s shitty parenting; I've always said time and time again he was a bad father, and I never said I was surprised at the Mikaelson being deadbeats when they already were in The Originals.

I don't know why you say the show "failed miserably" when it didn't: the rankings are good, it was nominated for awards a plenty of times and it is the favorite show of more than half of the fandom.

#honestly 💀#klaus mikaelson #rebekah mikaelson #freya mikaelson #hope mikaelson #elijah mikaelson #hayley marshall #marcel gerard #camille o'connell #caroline forbes #elena gilbert #the originals #the vampire diaries #tvd #to

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notmoreflippingelves · 9 months

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I need to ramble more about Esteban Flores, because everything about this character and his arc seem as though it was tailor-made for me and specifically designed to make me absolutely feral.

This going below the cut, both because I do not want to spoil the entire show for my friend who is think of watching Elena of Avalor and because I go full-on apologist here and I feel like that will annoy some people.

Imagine making the absolute worst mistake than anyone could possibly make, because you are 18 and scared and stupid and tired of being ignored. And it results in you losing your family and your freedom and what little self-respect you had left because you know all of this is very much your own fault.

And so you proceed to spend the next 41(!) years eking out a miserable existence in an oppressive state. Upon fear for your life, you are forced to be the reluctant right-hand of the evil witch-queen who conquered your country, killed your aunt and uncle and trapped your cousin in magical prison. In spite of this, you nevertheless do everything within your limited power trying to hold the kingdom together and make sure the people don't starve, because the queen certainly doesn't care about anything except greedily bleeding your country dry.

And no exaggeration, this is just what canon explicitly gives us outright in the pilot. Like that's not even getting into head canons/interpretations/common sense of what exactly this sort of life entailed for you. Because this is a children's show so there's only so much they will let us imply about living under that kind of system. Especially as a young, attractive, terrified person who is the last living member of the previous royal family who is likely being kept alive partly as a combination trophy/punching bag for the evil queen (even if the show never actually states this outright).

And then by some miracle, what's left of your family comes back after all this time. The evil queen is overthrown, partly because you yourself finally stood up to her at a critical moment. You and your country are finally free again, and what's more, you and your family are finally together again after over 4 decades. But you still feel like an outsider--partly because you always were an outsider in your family even in the better times and partly because over the past 41(!) years, time stood still for all of them except you.

And as a result, no one ever cares to ask what those 41 years were like for you or even just if you’re doing okay. Not only because your family can’t even begin to comprehend what it must have been like, but also because they don’t care to even *try* to understand. Because the narrative has decided that everyone else’s respective traumas is worth way more than your own. (Though tbf the narrative really doesn’t dwell much on anyone’s trauma in general but yours gets especially neglected , except to briefly play it for laughs or to remind you that your trauma is *your own fault and only your own*).

For a little while, life is pretty okay. It’s weird not having to watch your step every instant to make sure you’re not putting a toe out of line. And so you never really fully break out of your “survival mode” conditioning, making sure that you are still considered important and valuable enough to keep around.

But all the while, you know that your past—and especially your terrible little secret—is eventually going to come back to haunt you. And it does. First via blackmail and then via the return of the evil witch-queen herself. Fortunately, she is defeated for good before she can take avenge your “betrayal of her” but you still have to deal with seeing the ghost from the past who terrorized you for 41(!) years.

And then, your secret finally comes out in the open and you are disowned by your family—the family you *just* got back a few years ago—for an admittedly super bad decision that you made over four decades ago and have regretted ever since. Rather than face the rest of your life in isolation (as though you didn’t already have enough of that during the previous regime), you escape before you can be sent into exile. This puts you directly in the path of *another* terrifying, evil magical milf who you are forced to ally yourself with. Because you have 40+ years of conditioning that when a woman like that says “jump,” you say “how high?” if you are to have any hope of survival. Especially given that the only people who could’ve protected you from her are the family and friends who have just definitively washed their hands of you.

Despite this, you are still trying to seek your cousin’s forgiveness and to protect her in the little ways that you can. But you are constantly getting rebuffed over and over again, and if anything, your attempts at reconciliation only seem to make your cousin angrier, and she now hates you just as much as—if not MORE than—the woman who actually murdered her parents.

Your cousin is so angry at you specifically that she actively ignores the greater threat of Witchy Milf 2.0, because she happens to see your face and is enraged. This ends up backfiring spectacularly for you both, though it does indirectly lead to the defeat of said Witchy Milf 2.0.

But guess what? There’s no time to breathe or celebrate, because her defeat occurred during the successful summoning of a third power-mad, feminine-presenting magical humanoid and her allies. At least, this one treats you with some initial respect and actually gives you outright what you-think-you’ve-thought-you-always wanted. But she also turns your family and friends to stone in front of you as a warning of what’s to come if you dare to defy her.

But this time, you are finally done with this, have finally lost enough that you have paradoxically found your courage. You sacrifice yourself to save your cousin, and she is finally able to accept that you’ve sacrificed and changed enough that she can forgive you. And her forgiveness is so powerful and pure that it not only restores you to life but also undoes all the other evil magic. Together, you defeat this final enemy, paradoxically by banishing her to the same Underworld where your mistakes accidentally sent your aunt and uncle and her parents long ago. Peace has been restored. You have returned for good and are finally secure in your family’s love.

And after all that, there are *still* people (both presumably in universe and in the fandom outside of it) who say it's too little, too late and that it would've been better for everyone if you'd simply stayed dead.

Like I'm just... are we really victim-blaming the character who has 45 years of unprocessed trauma and guilt (both survivor's guilt and guilt in general) because of a decision he made when his brain was still developing and he was being manipulated by an older, much more powerful person?

#elena of avalor #elena of avalor meta #esteban flores #chancellor esteban #like how do you do this to me--an english major--#and not expect me to be completely unhinged about it?#like the parallelism. the THEMES.#the fact that having to abide by established sofia the first canon #meant that the writers had to significantly prolong the length of both esteban's and elena's respective traumas #i get that they had to but like 41 years? they still did THAT #and they expect me to be normal about it #don't get me wrong; i am not blaming elena for her response #it was normal and understandable and given her position; i may have acted the same #but at the same time; 41(!) years of trauma that the narrative just assumes esteban did and should've gotten over by now #even though they are not expecting elena to have gotten over the same 41-years of trauma?#and not just little trauma with a little “t”; we're talking TRAUMA™#someone get this man to the Ever Realm equivalent of therapy #like i'm not totally wild about s3 in general (we should've had an final season to deal with the coronation day aftermath)#but like the finale still hit all the right narrative beats that i needed so I'm okay-ish #and it still handled esteban's final arc much better than the similar final cassandra arc from tangled the series #imo at least

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somegoodomens · 8 months

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Rambling about Good Omens with @alwaysademonneveragod (as one does) and for the sake of making each other miserable with more angst than is needed, she said: Imagine how Crowley felt seeing how easily Gabriel gave up Heaven in order to be with Beelzebub. And, yes, hello pain, old friend.

But also, there's something about this that just needs to be said, and that's that, in Aziraphale's defense, the stakes for Gabriel are so much lower than they are for Aziraphale, and this is something I think Crowley might accept and recognize once some of the pain left from Aziraphale leaving cools down a little and gives him some room to see the whole picture.

At the end of the day, Gabriel is still a character that doesn't care about much beyond himself, just as we saw in S1. We do see him more empathetic and selfless in his Jim version, but at the very core Gabriel is still rather selfish, caring mostly about himself and now, of course, about Beelzebub as well because he is in love with them. I'm not saying choosing to leave Heaven and his position as Archangel just to be with his demon partner was any less noble and romantic and high risk, but at the same time it was still easy since Gabriel doesn't personally care about much else. For them to leave to Alpha Century and never come back makes sense.

Aziraphale, however, is in a much more complex situation with much higher stakes. Making the same decision as Gabriel would make no sense with his character.

Aziraphale cares about Crowley, LOVES Crowley, but he also loves the world and, right now, he's put in a position where he has to pick one and risk the other (something he didn't want to do, and for that he asked Crowley to go with him). Aziraphale loves having his little restaurants, loves his first edition books, his records of classical music, his store of magic tricks. He loves how imperfect and messy humanity is, because all of it is part of the precious, peaceful and fragile existence he's carved for himself AND for Crowley. Aziraphale loves the world as something that's his but also as something that's theirs. That's where their love story happened, the common ground they could share together, making company for each other each time the lines of good and evil became too confusing to follow. They can't share Heaven (white) and they can't share Hell (black) but they can share the world and its immense amounts of grays.

It makes me think how Aziraphale's love for Crowley and his love for the world has fuzzy edges that bleed into each other until it's a messy whole that can't be torn apart. A whole he wants so fiercely to protect, for himself but also for both of them, him and Crowley. And, right now (manipulations being considered), he knows he has a chance of doing just that from Heaven while keeping Crowley by his side according to the Metatron's offer.

The issue is that, of course, they don't TALK and when they do they say half of the things they need to say, and it's always disguised in this carefully put together veil of pretence, never daring to cross the line of pretending there's nothing more between them than there should be. Either way, they don't TALK and if they do, they don't say enough, so now Crowley is left thinking that Aziraphale, after everything, still chose Heaven over him, but NO.

Aziraphale is choosing the world ("To the world.") He's choosing to protect this beautiful thing he found from the greedy hands of those who don't understand a thing about it and only seek it to see it destroyed in order to fulfil their own needs and wishes.

He's choosing to protect the world from yet another apocalypse, and when he chooses the world he is choosing Crowley too, because for Aziraphale one can't go without the other. Does he do it from his still present blind faith in Heaven and its goodness? Yes, and that's because his arc as a character is not done yet. But the purpose is not, in my opinion, to be back in Heave's good books. The purpose is to fight for what he loves, and that's the world and Crowley.

#basically I don't wanna READ another post about aziraphale not deserving crowley's love #they both want to fight for it in their own way and the lack of communication is what makes this entire situation so messy #they just need to talk man #like REALLY talk #good omens #ineffable husbands #crowley #aziraphale #good omens 2 #aziracrow #my txt #aziraphale analysis

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lainalit · 2 months

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hey, about your sjm's abelism against lucien, i'd just like to say i 100% agree!! i'd like to point at other abelist things in sjm's writing and i apologize in advance bc this might be long.

as a disabled person, yeah sjm is pretty fuckin abelist, unintentional or not. tower of dawn's disability storyline starts out as ehh to downright awful as it employs the abelist fantasy trope of *~magical healing*~. although chaol comes to accept disability and others who are disabled by the end (which is good!), he gets fully healed :/ also yrene's treatment of him in the beginning was atrocious. telling him to stand up even though he couldn't?? it read like an abusive medical care worker

on acotar-related things, i disliked how feyre's father is depicted as useless until his death, where he "finally does something" buuut it ends with him dying. if someone is ill enough that they cannot do anything, calling them useless and then killing them when they save the day gives me the ICK.

finally, the way nesta's mental health was handled was abelist (same could be said with feyre and tamlin in their own ways) sjm cannot depict PTSD/trauma consistently or, hell, equally between her characters. her knowledge of this disorder seems so misinformed, either that or she purposefully cherry picked qualities, which is an awful way to portray any disorder. nesta's """healing""" in acosf was absolutely miserable. sorry not sorry but i don't think getting dicked down, chocolate, and meditation will help anyone get better from literal Post Traumatic Stress Disorder!! it's giving a middle aged white woman telling my disabled ass "have you tried yoga?"

anyway, sorry about my rant 😭 as someone who liked sjm as teen during early tog and acotar book 1, i am. very bitter sometimes.

Hi,

It is definitely good to get a perspective from someone who has a disability rather than from someone like me who is ablebodied and only has family members who are disabled, so my perspective is limited in that regard, so thanks for your views on the matter.

I hadn't read ToG yet, so I can't judge if it's ableist or not, but if it's true, like you said with the whole magic healing, then that's pretty bad, especially if she has no knowledge or even personal relations with topics like paralysis. The thing is magic healing in itself; I don't hate so much. It makes sense in a fantasy setting to maybe have advanced healing abilities, but to outright make a character who is disabled to completely heal and have no side effects or struggles later on is such bullshit, and this trope should die out as it is right now.

The problem with Papa Archeron I have is that he is a nonexistent character till the end. I don't know why sarah even bothered to write him in the story; he hasn't even gotten a name.

Also, his health problems are so vaguely described that I often forgot that he had any, and the fact that he is a deadbeat makes it even more atrocious that she portrays a man with physical and mental health problems as such an unlikeable throwaway character.

Don't get me started on Nesta. I hated every second of Acosf; everybody was constantly dogpilling on her, and for what?

Did she have problems and made mistakes? absolutly, but why is the inner circle (besides elain and feyre) in nestas business? Like, nobody besides her sisters truly cared for her and wanted her to get better; they just wanted her powers and making her amiable so she could sit with them on their stupid dinner table and fondle rhysass ballsack.

The fact that they know to some extent that mental health problems existed in the night court since we got the library with the sa survivors, but the ic couldn't fathom to maybe just ask some healer what the best course of action for nesta is since she obviously struggles, is so baffling to me.

But since SJM thinks hiking/ training= therapy, I'm not surprised by anything anymore.

Don't worry, rants here are always welcome💙

#somebody sent sjm a book about why disabled characters don't need to get “fixed”#everybody need therapy in her books but the only think there get is more trauma and training montages #anti sjm #acotar critical #anti acotar #sjm critical #anti rhysand #anti ic #anti inner circle #pro nesta

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