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stylesloveclub · 7 months

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Prose (sneak peek!)

In which y/n's taking way too many units, and Harry's the teaching assistant for her Literature class.

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He locks the door behind them, with y/n lingering closely by, waiting for him. “Do you live far?” he asks.

“No, not really. Just a 15 minute walk.” They walk towards the building exit, and Harry pulls out his umbrella. “Not too bad, as long as there isn’t a monsoon going on outside,” she finishes with a petulant grumble.

Harry chuckles lowly, his dimples shining brightly. “I was just going to offer… y’know, since it’s still raining and you’re umbrella-less…” his eyes twinkle teasingly, “I could drive you home? Wouldn’t want you to get soaked again when you’ve only just dried off.”

“Oh!” she bubbles, looking at him with wide eyes. “Really? You would do that?” He nods, but she presses, “Are you sure that wouldn’t be a hassle? I mean– like, really I could just stay here and read until the rain dies down–”

“S’not a hassle,” he reassures. “Y’don’t even know when the rain will be gone– could be all night. It’ll be cold, n’dark… it’d make me feel better knowing you got home safe, yeah?”

“Gosh that’s… that’s really nice of you,” she says, almost pouting.

He just smiles, pushing the door open and opening his umbrella for the two of them to huddle under. His car is parked in the graduate student parking lot, so it’s not too far of a walk (although they’re doing more of a brisk speedwalk, trying to get out of the rain and wind as fast as possible). The rain patters harshly on top of his umbrella, but they manage to stay dry, shoulders brushing together and their warm bodies radiating heat onto each other.

He unlocks his car and opens the passenger's seat for her, making sure that she’s covered from the rain as she slides into her seat. He then runs over to his own side, quickly shutting his umbrella and throwing it into the backseat. His fingers are numb as he turns the car on, and he immediately blasts the heat for the two of them, putting his frozen fingers in front of the warm air. “God, not even three minutes out there n’ I’m already freezing m’bits off,” he mumbles to himself. He turns to her, and smiles when he sees her copying his actions, “Isn’t this so much better that walking home?”

All she can give is a nod, wriggling her fingers in front of his heaters. Her teeth are chattering as she barely manages to chatter out, “S’freezing.”

“Wind would’ve blown you away before you even made it home, I reckon.” He plays with the windshield wipers until they’re on the highest setting, but even then his windshield is blurry from the rain. He makes sure to drive extra slow and cautiously, reversing out at the speed of a snail and turning his high beams on.

It’s only when she’s sitting in the front seat of his car that a somewhat important thought floats to the forefront of her mind – “is this allowed?”

“Is what allowed?” He's half paying attention, half checking both sides of the road before turning left onto the street.

“Like– I mean you’re sort of my professor, I guess,” she stumbles over her words, “Is it… would you get in trouble? For like… giving me a ride?”

Harry’s eyebrows pinch thoughtfully, “Well, first of all– Dr. Richmond’s your professor, not me. Secondly– I don’t see why it would be against the rules. S’just a car ride,” he shrugs.

She relaxes in her seat, nodding. She supposes he’s right. It’s just a car ride.

“But– if anything,” he adds on with, turning to her momentarily with a mischievous glint in his eye, “I won’t tell if you don’t.”

Y/n’s lips curl. “Okay,” she giggles.

It’ll be their little secret. :)

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HELLOOOOOOO TUMBLR! TARRY COMING THIS SATURDAY 10/7! :) i hope u guys are excited for him he is super fall cozy vibes HEHE :) PARTS 1 AND 2 HAVE ALREADY BEEN POSTED ON MY PATREON!!! THIS IS NOT A PATREON EXCLUSIVE MEANING ALL OF IT WILL BE POSTED ON TUMBLR. PATREON JUST HAS EARLY ACCESS!!!!! CHECK OUT MY MASTERLIST FOR OTHER FICS HOPE U GUYS R EXCITED XOXO

#harry #harry styles #harry fic #harry styles fic #harry styles fan fic #harry smut #harry styles smut #harry styles fanfic #harry styles fluff

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canonicallyobserving911 · 12 days

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WIP Wednesday

Fanonwriter2023 on AO3

Where CANON and FANON collide!

Season 7 FANON FanFic: Buddie Multi-Chapter Fanfic - Hiatus Reading: “I’m still in love with you but... I needed to learn how to love myself too!”

Chapter 27 will be posted soon.

This is an EPIC LOVE STORY!

Currently 26 chapters completed: 1M Words; Rated: Mature

One chapter will be posted at a time.

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I'm excited to finish writing Chapter 27 because at the end of Chapter 26, while Buck was sleeping, he made a sound that Eddie hadn't heard before. He immediately sat up in bed and called Eddie's name but he was in a daze and to Eddie, he appeared to be still dreaming but since his eyes were open, he started talking to him to get his attention.

They spent the majority of the day before in the hospital after Buck collapsed in Eddie's arms and suffered a bradycardia event of epic proportions. He was unconscious and unresponsive after he received a package that was delivered to the firehouse while they were in Europe. Once he opened it and read the letter, he reached the part where it stated someone died and it reminded him of his own death and it triggered the event.

He had an MRI, EKG and an ultrasound to confirm what prompted the two events. After the results were returned, Dr. Salazar discharged him with a Holter monitor that he has to wear for 48-hours so she can check to make sure his heart hasn't suffered any long-term effects from the lightning strike. Currently, they're home alone since Chris is still at a sleepover.

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Here's a snippet from Chapter 27 of Eddie trying to console his husband after he woke up in a state of sheer horrifying terror.

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The sounds escaping Buck’s lips through his cries are filled with pain and suffering and Eddie recognizes it because he remembers it’s how he sounded when he started destroying every piece of furniture in his bedroom with a baseball bat almost two years ago.

“I love you.” Eddie admits. Then he starts speaking Italian. “Ti amo, amore mio.” [“I love you, my love.”]

“ED—DIE? PLEASE DON’T—DON’T LET GO! OK?”

“NEVER AMORE MIO! I’LL NEVER LET GO OF YOU BECAUSE YOU’RE MY HEART, YOU’RE MY SOUL, YOU’RE MY EVERY—THING!”

As he continues holding on to his husband, he comforts him as they cry about the fact that Buck died last year. He tries to compose himself several times but the weight and the magnitude of seeing Buck hanging from the aerial is a picture he can’t get out of his mind. He reminds himself that they both can’t lose it because one of them needs to be coherent just in case Buck becomes unresponsive again like he did while they were at the hospital yesterday.

Even through their brokenness, he keeps talking to his husband.

“You’re alive my love.”

“You’re in the present with me and it’s January 3, 2024.”

“It’s been almost ten months since that night but you’re here with me and I’ll never let you go.”

“We’re going to die on the same day at the same time in 50 or 60 years from now.”

Buck’s cries are getting louder as he continues to feel every ounce of grief he’s been avoiding since last year. And when his Holter monitor starts beeping, Eddie knows that sound means one of two things, either Buck’s heart is beating too fast or too slow. Neither option is good because they’re both detrimental and they can both lead to Buck’s death if they aren’t resolved quickly. If it’s beating too slowly again, he’s experiencing another bradycardia event and if it drops below 30 bpm, his heart could stop beating and that will lead to him dying. If his heart is beating too fast, then he’s experiencing a tachycardia event which means he could have a heart attack if it’s not lowered to a level of 100 bpm.

In a soft and calm but stern voice, he calls, “Evan, my love! Can you hear me?”

He’s still crying but he nods his head while it’s lying on top of Eddie’s shoulder.

With the alarm still blaring, he says, “Amore mio, I need you to you to listen to me. We have to get you calm so your heart rate will stabilize.”

Buck’s trying, he really is but he still feels that tug at the back of his head trying to take him under but he’s fighting to stay alert so he can remain responsive and conscious.

“Shh... my love. I need you to listen to me and I also need you to breathe with me too. Can you still hear me?”

He opens his mouth and he tries to speak but it takes several seconds for him to inhale enough air into his lungs so can respond.

Eddie doesn’t let go he just keeps holding onto him with their chests pressed together.

Is Buck going to suffer another bradycardia event? 👀

Or could he suffer from tachycardia this time? 🤷🏽‍♀️

___________

Fic Summary: Months after Buck and Eddie were hit by the same lightning strike; they’re still struggling with the aftermath of it. But before they make their love confessions, they’ll spend time getting to know themselves as individuals first. Eddie learns to enjoy the simple things in life as he participates in activities on his own and with new friends while Buck learns the rest of the 31-year-old deep dark family secret about his conception and birth. Their journey to forever is still a work in progress but once they finally admit they’re in love with each other, everything that follows their love confessions will be cataclysmic.

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Chapter Summaries

Chapter 1 - Eddie makes a new friend while Buck receives devastating news regarding the sperm donation he made for Connor and Kameron.

Chapter 2 - Buck does a lot of research to learn more about the abnormalities found in his red blood cells and Eddie starts a new therapy journey that’s all about him and not the traumas he’s experienced.

Chapter 3 - After more than a month, Buck and Eddie finally spend time together outside of work but it doesn’t end well and they part with a lot of uncertainty regarding their places in each other’s lives.

Chapter 4 - Eddie has a few realizations about his life which causes him to consider moving back to El Paso, TX while Buck continues to be reminded of his past which causes him to take an impromptu road trip across America.

Chapter 5 - Both Buck and Eddie have difficult conversations with their parents and Buck finally learns the truth behind the reason why his mother despised him while Eddie finally tells his mother about the way she tries to control him.

Chapter 6 - More than two weeks after Buck pushed Eddie away after suggesting they needed a break; Eddie decides to try again. Eddie’s there for Buck when he’s at his worst just like Buck was there for him when he was at his worst and he won’t let Buck give up.

Chapter 7 - After Buck’s mental breakdown, Eddie has his back the same way Buck had his when he had his own breakdown more than a year ago. They share several vulnerable and emotionally intimate moments with one another and they begin to realize their small, sweet and caring gestures matter just as much if not more than any grand gesture ever could because these are the foundations of a long-lasting love relationship.

Chapter 8 - Buck, Eddie and Chris all have their own therapists and during their sessions, they reflect on their pasts while they’re in the present so they can prepare for their future together as a family.

Chapter 9 - Buck and Eddie are there for each other when Buck has to testify as a witness during the trial. But by the end of it, they’ll both realize their individual and shared traumas are going to keep resurfacing until they talk about them, deal with the fact that they’re in love with one another and face the fact that they can’t live without each other.

Chapter 10 - As Buck and Eddie finally begin to confront their past traumas, they realize how much they need each other to fill in the gaps of their memories. Additionally, the universe screams at them for what appears to be the one hundredth time so Buck can realize he doesn’t have to ‘find it’ because he already ‘made it’ and Eddie’s reminded tomorrow isn’t promised and he doesn’t have to die alone if he doesn’t want to.

Chapter 11 - A “virga” or dry thunderstorm is in the forecast but once the rain starts, the thunderstorm happening outside won’t be able to match the storm brewing inside between Buck and Eddie. It’s the universe’s final scream and when the tumultuous winds begin to blow, they’ll have one last chance to hold onto everything they’ve built over the last six years or they’ll lose it all forever.

Chapter 12 - Buck and Eddie have always shared a deep physical attraction and an emotional intimacy that’s unmatched but now that they’re in a relationship, they’re learning how to navigate the romantic intimacy they’ve been waiting for six years to explore. The love they have for each other is a once in a lifetime, soulmate, love of their lives type of love that transcends space and time.

Chapter 13 - While navigating the newness of their romantic relationship, Buck and Eddie take advantage of every moment they spend together. As their individual lives, people from their pasts, time constraints and the possibility of losing each other again make attempts to interrupt and interfere with their journey to forever, they love, care for, support and hold onto each other even tighter to withstand it all.

Chapter 14 - Buck and Eddie can see the lights at the end of the tunnels regarding the results of Buck’s Cancer Screening along with everything else they’re dealing with. But are the lights they see exits to the tunnels or are they headlights on different runaway trains that are speeding towards them in an effort to interrupt their forever?

Chapter 15 - Buck and Eddie have known they were exactly who the other one wanted in a partner since they met six years ago when they agreed to have each other’s backs. They’re in a romantic relationship, they’re both preparing to ask the other one to spend forever with them and by the end of the seventh week into their relationship, together they will plan their most important and greatest adventure for their future.

Chapter 16 - As Buck and Eddie begin to prepare for their marriage ceremony that will take place in Rome, Italy in December 2023, they start planning their first international adventure as a romantic couple. Even though Chris is still the only person they’ve told about their relationship, several people who know them have already witnessed the love they share and as the days continue, others will witness it too.

Chapter 17 - As Buck and Eddie get closer to departing Los Angeles for their international adventure, a moment in time will remind them; life is fragile, tomorrow isn’t promised and every second of everyday should be cherished because everything can change in an instant. The result of that realization will cause them to hold onto each other even more.

Chapter 18 - As Buck, Eddie and Chris prepare for family gatherings before and during the Thanksgiving holiday, the “Santa Ana Winds” start to blow and all sorts of expected and unexpected familial drama ensues.

Chapter 19 - As Buck and Eddie get closer to their wedding day, the universe begins to align everything so that some of their parent and children's relationships are strengthened while others come to an abrupt end.

Chapter 20 - With only 14 days remaining until Buck, Eddie and Chris depart Los Angeles, CA traveling to Rome, Italy, for their first family adventure, an early morning conversation about “tying up loose ends” helps Buck and Eddie realize there are still several things left unfinished on their ‘To Do’ lists. The question is will there be enough time to complete all of them?

Chapter 21 - Buck, Eddie and Chris are finalizing their ‘To Do’ Lists, double checking their itineraries and packing their suitcases in preparation for their trip to Europe so they can board their flight that departs Los Angeles, CA on Friday, December 15, 2023 at 3:25PM.

Chapter 22 - While Buck, Eddie and Chris spend the first 8 days of their European family adventure in Italy, their primary reason for going will be fulfilled as well as several others they hadn’t considered or anticipated.

Chapter 23 - As the Diaz Family continues their Italian family adventure, they’ll say, “Ciao” or hello and goodbye to a lot of things almost immediately after they become an official and legal family.

Chapter 24 - After Buck, Eddie and Chris arrive in London, England on December 24th; the Diazes immediately start preparing to spend their first family Christmas together. During their stay, each of them will hear a few choice words that will be the life raft to get them home to complete their searches to be seen and to be found.

Chapter 25 - After spending more than two weeks in Europe, Eddie, Buck and Chris are back in Los Angeles and they’re getting ready to attend Maddie and Chimney’s New Year’s Eve party. During the event, they have plans to make two surprise announcements but the question is, who’s really going to be surprised, the Diaz family or their found family at the 118?

Chapter 26 - Buck and Eddie are once again faced with their greatest fear of losing each other but this time it could be permanent and if it is, then they won’t be able to spend the rest of their lives together.

Chapter 27 - Will be posted soon.

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Read chapters 1-26 are available on AO3.

Continue reading on AO3

Chapter 27 will be posted soon.

#buddie #eddie diaz #evan buckley #christopher diaz #the buckley diaz family #buckley diaz family #buddie fanfic #ao3 fanfic #911 fanfic #911 abc #911 on abc #Fanonwriter2023 on AO3 #Hiatus Reading #“I'm still in love with you but... I needed to learn how to love myself too!”#Chapter 27 will be posted soon.#Buddie multi-chapter fanfic

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radiohead-spiderman · 3 months

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My Golden Trio Headcanons (some modern some not)

Harry:

Oddly good at beer pong.

One time caught the snitch in his mouth and almost died.

Is REALLY good at cooking(less headcanon and more actually canon)

Loves the rain, absolutely hates thunder.

Had American southern tea ONCE and never looked at Earl Grey the same way again (Hermione gets upset about it every time they get tea together)

Soap opera lover(he watches them with Ron)

Is really good at drawing birds specifically.

He’s good at pottery but can only make bowls and plates.

SPIDER-MAN FAN

Ron:

Chess lover, both magic AND muggle(that’s canon but I’m including it anyways)

When Harry tried American sweet tea for the first time, Ron got to try fried butter for the first time too, he promptly inhaled it.

He hates crabs.

He often has stare offs with Crookshanks which either end with Ron getting mauled, or Crookshanks getting locked out of the room.

Is a DIEHARD Beastie Boys fan, Hermione introduced him to them and he hasn’t looked back since.

His favorite color is the exact shade of brown that Hermione’s eyes are :)

Soap opera lover(he watches them with Harry)

Wears bright neon crocs, has worn them on dates with Hermione before, will wear them on dates with Hermione again.

Got a buzz cut one time and Hermione screamed in pure unbridled terror when she saw it(she did not speak for him for a week, he had to magically grow it back)

Bad at pottery but loves playing with the clay.

DEADPOOL FAN

Hermione:

Aroace spectrum(because I love projecting onto characters and it’s canon in my eyes)

One time tried to straighten her hair and both Ron and Harry got scared when they saw it(it did not work)

Knows ALL of the Elder Scrolls lore

Has played Skyrim to completion over 19 times.(that is not an exaggeration, she’s pulled various all nighters)

HORRIFIC sleep schedule

Will not read romance, UNLESS it’s completely historically accurate.

Bad at drawing, really good at pottery oddly enough.

While she’s good at pottery, she absolutely despises the feel of wet clay, and then the feel of dry clay on her skin so she doesn’t sculpt stuff without gloves on.

Hates the texture of pasta, it has to be made in a VERY specific way for her to enjoy it.

Doesn’t like being smooched on the temple because it’s too close to her eyes and she thinks it’s unsanitary.

Had a seafood boil one time and was out like a light for a full DAY.

Tried a vegan diet for like a year but she accidentally ate a wet piece of ham in a sleep deprived delirium.

Beans on toast FIEND.

One time had a five day mental breakdown over magic and specifically quidditch brooms not following the laws of physics.

Dinosaur nerd.

Dr Strange and Reed Richards fan

Golden Trio:

Codependent.

They have a book club, Ron’s favorite genre is a mix between really cheesy badly written romances and westerns, Harry’s favorite genre is murder mysteries and philosophy, funnily enough, Hermione doesn’t like murder mysteries because she guesses the plot/plot twists and they’re always correct, she usually only reads non-fiction but she occasionally likes accurate science fiction and she also enjoys biographies.

Hermione once sat them down to watch a bunch of muggle movies, some Harry recognized, while Ron was just utterly entranced by the television, occasionally shaking Harry’s shoulder when something happened on screen.

While Hermione was finishing her seventh/ “eighth” year she was sent at LEAST ten letters DAILY, from both Ron and Harry.

They shared an apartment for like two years and would quiet often all sleep in the same bed.

That habit followed them into adulthood, and they occasionally sleep in the same bed.

Both Harry and Ron, along with Ginny, will flaunt Hermione being the minister, often.

Harry has forced the other two to rewatch every Star Wars movie, more than ten times.

Ron and Hermione broke up one time in their relationship and Harry was more distraught than both of them combined.

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my-rose-tinted-glasses · 1 month

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Tsukuritai Onna to Tabetai Onna

Usual warning. This is not a review. It's just me needing to put what I'm feeling somewhere. I just finished watching so there's absolutely no critical thinking happening here.

TL;DR: WATCH THIS SHOW!!!

Well I finally finished all of Tsukutabe and to say my heart is full feels small somehow. My heart grew. I remember when I finished the second season of Kinou Nani Tabeta, I was so overwhelmed with emotions and honestly I was not expecting to be in that place again. I called it magic and I have to echo those same feelings here. Because this show it's magic. It's a gift that makes me feel thankful that I got to experience it. I really have a hard time writing about this because I'm feeling so many things so I'll try to split it in smaller bits so maybe it sounds a bit more coherent. No promises though.

Kasuga I have to start here because she's my favourite, in case it wasn't obvious by my choice of pfp. She's so cute. I fell in love with her almost immediately. I've talked about this before but to see a character eat the way she does on screen healed something in me. The way she looks at Nomoto made me melt multiple times and her smile completely shatters this cold heart of mine. The episodes around her family had me bawling [normally I would wish for her father to be run over or something, but that would only add misery to Kasuga's mother, so I just hope he dies first] but seeing her put herself first and release herself from those expectations was amazing. Her journey was incredible and it was great that she was able to open up to Nagumo and Nomoto. I have to congratulate Nishino Emi for her portrayal of Kasuga. Considering she's not an actor (she's a musician btw) and this is her only acting credit, I thought the way she embodied Kasuga was really good.

Nomoto I adore her. Her happiness was infectious and she made me smile so wide. Cooking for your loved ones is just such the most beautiful thing to me and she and Shiro are the standard and everyone else can take notes. She's more open than Kasuga so we have more of an insight to her and to watch her awakening was amazing. It reminded me a bit Sakuko [Koisenu Futari] in the beginning. Her facial expressions always gave her away and it was such a contrast to Kasuga's reserved demeanor.

THEM The Yin and Yang. They are so different on the surface but the way they come together and create a space for each other is just so beautiful to see. They are learning from each other through these two seasons and growing together and navigating the realities of their relationship and what it all means and how it makes them feel. I just love the happiness in Nomoto's eyes whenever Saguka is eating her food and the happiness and little smiles in Kasuga's face whenever Nomoto got really excited by a vegetable or a finished dish. They are perfect and will live happily ever after. Period.

Nagumo This girl has my whole heart. I said this before in the notes but every time she was on my screen I just wanted to give her a hug. She's fragile but resilient and although she was a bit shy at first, the way she shared her story with Kasuga and quickly became the person she went to for advice was so good. And to see her getting help, finding relief in a word and hope in the future made me cry so much. And when she took that bite it made my heart grow that very second. And just as a aside, the fact that the show chose to have her eat while the others didn't notice and after they did, they still didn't make it a big deal made me ugly cry. Because that's the magic part. That when I feel that a show knows what it's doing with its characters. And the moment at the end in the job thing when she said she wanted to do something that allowed to talk to people had me clapping like a proud mama.

Chiharu I love her. I love that Nomoto had someone by her side from the beginning that she could confide in and that was supportive. And that when she "messed up", like with the wedding talk, she was given space to reflect and understand and give her friend the space she needed to talk about it. Cause it's okay to not be all woke - god, I hate this word - all the time. As long as people are ready to listen to each other and learn from one another. Also always happy for the screw marriage discourse.

Yako The ace rep had me clapping at first of course. It's so rare anywhere in media so it always adds points no matter what. So obviously... I love her. She's such an amazing supporter. She's so kind and open. Her relationship with Nomoto was wonderful but she and Naguma gave me some of my favourite moments ever. Because being supportive sometimes is just being present, is asking questions, is just listening to understand and not judge. And to want those around you to grow. That moment where she realized what the move meant for Nagumo and asked her to go for a walk was so good.

THESE WOMEN. I love these women. All of them. How they come together for each other, and the kindness and understanding made me ugly cry on more than one occasion.

The Food This show really speaks to me in several ways and I know I spoke of this before but I keep coming back to food.

You eat too much or you don't eat enough. Or you don't eat it the right way. Or eat the right things. Food is just sustenance for some. Food is joy to others. Food is what makes some of us get up in the morning. Food is to eat alone or together. It means a lot of different things to different people. It's food. You eat yours and I eat mine. Can we just not pay so much attention to this? Now that I got that out. Japanese shows are the best at using food in their stories. And more often that not, it's a place of joy and healing. And the fact that this series showed that food can also be a source of trauma and something that makes you different, as well as a place where you can heal is so important to me. Because I can relate to both those things. The dining table has been a place where I felt wrong different but also a place where I found so much joy.

The Magic Much like Kinou Nani Tabeta this show is full of magic. It was made by people that needed to make it, to talk about things that mattered, from a place of empathy and love. I feel like I was meant to watch this show. The universe conspired to put it in front of me. I understand this sounds super corny, and honestly if anyone else said this words to me I would be rolling my eyes way back into my skull, so I get it. But it feels cosmic somehow. Also fun fact that helps the magic of it all. One of the characters and I share a last name. Me, little portuguese me, and a japanese character from this show. Can you imagine the odds? And no, I have no connection to Japan whatsoever, and my last name isn't even a very common one in either country. So really it has to be magic, right? Also, I have a small confession. GL's were never my favourite. I'm enjoying 23.5 a lot for example but I'm never in a rush to watch them. I have a bias against them that I never really examined, except that I find that I'm much more critical of them so I enjoyed them less. But this show, these women, just moved the needle a bit. There are important conversations here, not just from a queer standpoint but from a female perspective that really resonated with me, so I might need to readjust some things. Anyway, I have a lot of feelings but this is already long. I'll be thinking about this show a lot more, and there will be giffing for sure so I won't leave these characters any time soon. Also, did I mention?, I LOVE Kasuga. SHE IS EVERYTHING TO ME and one of my favourite characters of all time.

I already talked about the kindness in this show but I need to say it again. It's all about the kindness. These women. They are all so open and kind and because of that they are all better people and happier people. Maybe we can learn from them. If only we could be a little more kind to each other.

If you've made it to the end, thanks for reading💜. [A huge thanks to @furritsubs for giving us the opportunity to enjoy this masterpiece.]

#Tsukuritai Onna to Tabetai Onna #she loves to cook and she loves to eat #japanese gl #rose rambles

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sweetsimp · 9 months

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Dark Photographs || Obey Me x Reader -- Part One [Lucifer]

TW!!! Please read the warnings before proceeding.

A/N: HELLOOOOO sorry for the delay, ive been super busy with all of these classes, I havent been able to work on dark photographs. I WAS IN SIX COLLEGE CLASSES AHHHHHHHHHH also haha what if i opened up my tips..................... would you guys.... wanna... um...

ANYWAY I ALSO FINISHED RAINCOODEEEEE I FINISHED IT AND IT WAS AMAZING and if you dont know what that is uhhhhhhhhhh GO FIND OUT AHHHHHHHHH i might also write raincode stuff.................

also sorry?? for taking so long?? Ive been trying to get used to this move and i finally pushed myself to stop putting this off, but I WAS WRITING IT IN A SEPERATE APP CAUSE TUMBLR KEPT NOT SAVING MY WORK and then it just pasted as one whole paragraph and fixing it was the only proofreading that i did (clown honk)

Warnings: dark themes, kidnapping, threats, angst, angst, angst, assault, use of dr*gs, fighting, mention of not-alive, etc.

EXTRA WARNING this shit made me cry WHILE I WAS WRITING IT proceed at your own RISk

-- word count for imagine: 2257 (give or take a few maybe)

Lucifer

Sometimes he had his moments where he got on your nerves.

You get into an argument but he always makes it up to you.He'd always find a way to get under your skin, especially with the fact that he was basically the embodiment of Pride and the dictionary definition of a workaholic. He could spend hours trapped in his office, surrounded by mountain piles of paperwork, but only minutes with you.

The problem was, he seemed perfectly content with that, and it bothered you.

Now, you were kidnapped and had no way of knowing how he actually cared about you and especially in the ways that mattered most. It secretly tortured him that you could've died thinking that you were the least important thing in his life.

Was that his fault? Was he to blame?

He almost found it humorous how much he had been torturing himself, especially because he always had full confidence that he would solve the issue no problem, and everything would go back to the way it was. He forgot how fragile humans were until now. Of course, anyone that wasn't Lucifer seemed almost fragile in comparison to the Avatar of Pride, but you were a whole different thing.

You were his human.

It wasn't a lie when he said he was confident he would find you, but what he didn't know was if it'd be too late or not. He didn’t know what to do.

Were you devoured immediately or tortured? If you had been alive still, why hadn't you summoned him? What was he going to say once he found you?

The fire let out a loud crackle noise, interrupting his thoughts. He stopped in his tracks and sat down for a moment while resting his head on his hands with his elbows propped on his desk. He closed his eyes as small strands of hair tickled his skin and fell in front of his face. Shadows danced around the room to hide from the fire's burning light.

Why didn't they tell anyone where they were going? Why didn't they ask anyone to accompany them? The most likely possibilities had been work or shopping. They wouldn't go with any random demon that asked them to follow their lead, and especially if no one he trusted was with them. Why were they alone?

Knock! Knock! Knock!

Lucifer lifted his head immediately. "Come in."

Mammon hesitantly walked in, dipping his head in first before pulling the rest of his body into the room to face his older brother. It was strange to see his predictable behavior get washed away in a matter of seconds, but it was a relief for Lucifer that he had one less thing to worry about.

Mammon's otherwise mischievous tone and behavior dissipated even when he spoke. "We confirmed that uh… the human was workin' right before they disappeared. Thought ya might wanna-" Lucifer didn't let Mammon finish, standing up immediately to grab his coat and make a beeline for the door. "Are the others already investigating?"

Mammon nodded.

It was strange how much fear could affect even demons, especially because of the effect you truly had on them. It could've been possible that they were equally as afraid of what Lucifer would do if he lost you. It would've destroyed him, and they knew that the façade he would put up wouldn't be able to convince his brothers otherwise.

"Where?"

Mammon didn't hesitate to give Lucifer a slip of paper with the details, which Lucifer had basically ripped out of his younger brother's hand. Without saying another word, the Avatar of Pride dragged his brother out the door and let go once it had closed and locked immediately. Lucifer wouldn't have cared if Mammon went or stayed. All that mattered to him was finding you. Maybe he spent too long looking at your room or thinking too hard about your whereabouts alone in his office, creating a pattern in the floor with his constant pacing.

Either way, his vision seemed to have cut in and out with anger and worry-- but before he knew it, he was already there.

He was going to find you.

"This was found in the trash," Beelzebub spoke, handing over a ripped up picture that had been pieced back together. "There's two different traces on here. One of them is MC, but…"

"I know where to go." Lucifer spoke, "I'll deal with it. Just gather the others."

"Are you sure-"

With just the power of his glare alone, Beelzebub stopped mid-sentence and just nodded.

--------------------------------------------------

Click! Click!

"Before you go, I want to try and take as many photos as possible." The photographer spoke, "I could make millions with even just one photo. I can't imagine how rich and powerful I'll be with a hundred of them."

The photographer put his camera down again for what felt like the millionth time. The soft clanking noise made you feel only a small drop of relief, but it also filled you with dread because of what would follow after: More adjusting. Brighter lights. Different music. More clicking. More adjusting. Dimmer lights.

Silence.

It was nauseating, but none of it came even close to what that monster did to keep you under his control. It felt disgusting. Demoralizing.

What was the point in fighting? Why were you trying to hard to think of the words, when this was a deserved ending for a sad, pathetic human?

The anger and sadness had been building up with no possible way to get out, and you would die before it ever would. It would die with all of the other feelings you kept inside. The other truths you tried so hard to protect-- from the others and even yourself. Maybe they werent truths at all, just things you tortured yourself with that you believed so hard to be the truth that anything else seemed almost absurd and unrealistic. It gave you a false sense of hope that there was any chance of redemption for all the things that made you feel sick inside.

When the anger, the sadness, and the guilt proved to be too much, it made the tears fall faster than you could have ever expected.

Click! Click! Click!

"Oh my god! That's absolutely perfect. You're an amazing model." The photographer breathed, "If Lucifer and the others weren't a problem, I could sit here for all of eternity taking these beautiful shots of your purity. Your soul. It's too hard to resist. Human emotions are so complicated, aren't they? You must feel so awful about yourself."

Click!

"So pathetic."

Click!

"Worthless."

Click!

"But it's deserved and you must know that, but I mean…" The demon said in a hushed, soothing voice. "It's not like anyone will ever get to understand how you feel. You'll die before then. Alone."

He just kept talking. You wanted him to stop.

"Lucifer probably makes you feel worthless, huh? Like you don't matter. I get it. He's so obsessed with his paperwork, isn't he? Never makes time for anyone or anything else. You're just more work." The demon spoke, "I'll bet he's taking his sweet time finding you cause he doesn't want the wait the next few decades waiting for your timer to run out. Anything else is just for the sake of Diavolo's dream."

He paused, looking at the photos before speaking again. "I know them better than you think you know them. Demons are malicious and deceiving, and anything they show you is to give you a sense of security. The truth is, you're nothing more than just a sad, weak, human."

Please stop.

"All you want is Lucifer's touch, right? You're addicted to it. That's why you can't leave. He waves his demon charm at you. One magic trick and you fall in love all over again. You eat up his dominance and power over you because it makes you feel even more special that he's one of the most powerful demons here and he chose you."

Make it stop.

"And all of that makes you feel just a little less awful about yourself for being the only human who can't be trusted by themself. It makes you feel better about yourself, with this fake illusion of power that you have over these people who never needed you. Even after your time runs out, they won't care."

Please stop. Please stop. Please stop. Please stop. Please stop. Please stop. Please stop. Please stop. Please stop. Please stop. Please stop.

"There we go," He hummed in a sick and twisted kind of satisfaction. "That's what real emotion looks like. That's the hundredth picture. That's how easy it is to break a human. I can see it in your eyes."

Cli-

Actually, no. There had been no click this time.

You couldn't blink away the tears fast enough to find the source of the loud, shattering noise and the sounds of metal clashing against the ground in pieces with pieces of glass scattered amongst the scraps. A flash of black and red made the photographer disappear.

You heard a familiar voice behind you with the sound of someone being slammed against the wall.

"There's a reason why demons like you are at the bottom." Lucifer snarled.

His voice sent shivers down your spine. There had been so much pain buried deep under his own rage.

"It's because you're all so incredibly humiliating. Did you honestly think you could get away with this?" Lucifer let out a low chuckle. "After you're imprisoned for the rest of eternity, I promise I'll make it even more unbearable than the things that keep you up at night."

BAM!

You winced, not wanting to know the source of that noise. A gentle gust of air pushed your locks of hair forward, making it sway and fall back into place right before he undid your binds and pulled you to him in one single motion. He didn't hesitate.

"I love you." He spoke, "Please forgive me, my dear. I was… I was so incredibly worried about you. I took too long to come to your side."

It was all too much. You didn't know when you started to cry, but it all came rushing out. There was no possibility of stopping. There was no chance of hiding the pain anymore once his warmth filled in the cracks that the photographer had almost permanently left you with before his inevitable demise.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." You sobbed, "I tried so hard. I just want you to be happy, but I can't do anything. I'm a human. I'm just another responsibility and you deserve so much more than that-"

Lucifer took your chin gently but quickly, clashing his lips against yours in a desperate and passionate way to prove just how much you meant to him. He knew that he couldn't heal all of your wounds as quickly as he would've hoped, but he would give up everything he had just to try.

He held you close, wrapping his arms tenderly around your waist. Despite how soft he was with you, he held you in a way that made you feel like he was never going to let go. He loved you more than anything, and his comforting presence alone made the photographer's words meaningless.

Lucifer wasn't just the Avatar of Pride when he was with you. He was just Lucifer. He was just someone who put his walls up high around everybody but you. He was someone who melted under your touch, even if he pretended to only be one of the most powerful demons in the devildom in front of others. You saw the soft side of him that he had kept hidden for centuries.

He pulled away, resting his head on your shoulder. "It doesn't matter to me that you're human. You're perfect to me. You did everything right, MC. I don't want you to ever have a single thought in your mind that any of this is your fault, or that you feel guilty about a burden on my shoulders that never existed at all. You're the only person I've felt this strongly about, MC. I mean that." He spoke, "You're good enough for me, even if you may not always feel that way. There's no one else in this entire universe that could ever come close to how I feel about you. You're what I think about after a long day of work. I think of you when I wake up. I think of you during the day, when I'm working. I'm confident I'll prove that to you, MC. You deserve all of that and more."

"Let's go away for a while, okay?" He whispered in your ear. "Just you and me. No paperwork. No pictures. No anything. I want to spend the rest of eternity making it up to you… but since we don't have an eternity, I'm confident I could do it in the time we have, MC."

You nodded, letting the tears continue to fall freely down your face. This time, it had been out of the love you shared with Lucifer rather than the pain of your kidnapper's words alone. You endured so much, but deep down you knew Lucifer would keep all of his promises. Even if it wasn't out of the love he had for you, he wouldn't have let himself be known as someone who couldn't keep his word.

But he loved you, and that was the only reason you needed.

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alotofpockets · 2 years

Text

A miracle | Natasha Romanoff

Pairing: Natasha Romanoff x Avenger!Reader

Request: If possible could you do some angst/fluff for Natasha Romanoff x Avenger Wife Reader where reader is pregnant with their first child and when Natasha and the Team has to go on mission reader goes into labor and almost dies from childbirth only to find out their child inherited Readers powers

Word count: 1760

Warnings: r has superpowers, r is pregnant, near death during childbirth (r and baby), emergency c-section, angst with happy ending.

masterlist | requests: closed | taglist

You were pregnant with your and Natasha’s first child. The two of you were extremely excited to be starting this journey together. You were currently 32 weeks pregnant and had stopped working. Of course, usually you get maternity leave when you’re 36 weeks pregnant but seeing as you’re a part of the Avengers, the team made sure that you were out of harm’s way as soon as possible. If it was up to your best friend Wanda she’d have had you sit out training and intel missions way sooner, but you convinced her 30 weeks was early enough.

Natasha has been great during the pregnancy. She’s always been amazing, but she really stepped up to help you with everything you needed, from food cravings to your chores around the compound. When Natasha was away on missions you relied on Wanda to do these things for you. Which Wanda happily did, she was like your sister. You grew up with her and Pietro back at Hydra where you got your powers, similar to Pietro you got superhuman speed and everything that came with it. At Hydra they had wanted to test out if the powers would work differently on the male and female body, turned out there were no differences.

The last two days Natasha had been away on an intel mission, nothing too major, just following people around seeing where they keep their data. You’re watching a movie on the couch with Wanda when a sharp pain in your stomach makes you scream out. Wanda is immediately by your side as well as Pietro who runs in a couple second later after hearing the scream. “What’s wrong?” They ask simultaneously. “I don’t know but it hurts.” You cry out.

“I’ll call Dr. Cho to get her to the infirmary, Pietro can you get y/n there?” Wanda says already dialing Dr. Cho’s number. Pietro nods and picks you up gently, trying his best to not cause you more pain. Once he has a good hold on you he sprints off. In the infirmary he places you gently on the bed. Your hands instantly grip the railing of the bed screaming out in pain again.

Dr. Cho comes rushing in the room with Wanda right behind her. She puts all kinds of monitors on you and around your stomach for the baby to figure out what is happening. The machines start beeping like crazy when another pain wave hits. Dr. Cho tries to read them, but the numbers change too quickly. You reach your hand out to Wanda, “Nat. I need Nat.” Tears running down your face as the pain hasn’t gone down one bit. “I’m on it.” She says giving your hand a quick squeeze.

Walking out the room Wanda dials Nat’s number. Natasha picks up the phone, “This better be urgent, I’m kind of busy here Maximoff.” After Natasha finishes her sentence she hears Wanda sniff on the other side of the line. Instantly she drops her annoyance and gets worried. “Nat, you need to come back quickly. Something is wrong with y/n and the baby. Dr. Cho is doing everything she can, but we don’t know what’s happening. You just need to be here soon, she needs you.”

Natasha takes a deep breath. “I’m on my way. Tell her I’ll be there soon.” With that she grabs her jacket and runs outside, not caring about her cover anymore. She jumps on her motorcycle and speeds back home.

“Pietro, I need you to go to the hospital and get an ultrasound machine, quickly.” Dr. Cho yells over the beeping. Pietro speeds out of the room as Wanda enters again. “Nat is one her way, she’ll be here soon.” You grip Wanda’s hand as another wave of excruciating pain hits you. Crying out as the pain keeps steady for a longer period of time. Once it settles again you manage to tell Dr. Cho between heavy breaths that it feels like your stomach is going to explode as each wave of pain hits.

Before Natasha walks into the room, she wipes her tears away, wanting to present strong to you. Though her strong front falters the second she steps in and hears you screaming out in pain. Her heart breaks at the sight of you. She rushes to your side. “Oh detka, I’m here. I am right here.”

Once your pain goes down a bit again Natasha gets up and walks towards Dr. Cho. “Helen, please tell me you can help them. What’s happening?” Dr. Cho places a hand on her shoulder, “I will do everything to try and help them, but so far I haven’t been able to figure out what’s wrong. Every time your wife has these excruciating pains her readings go off the charts and I lose the babies vitals. Pietro should be back soon with an ultrasound machine, I’m hoping to be able to see what’s happening then.”

Natasha moves back to your side and places a cold towel over your forehead after wiping the sweat away. The coldness of the towel feels nice, but of course doesn’t help much as a pain reliever. Dr. Cho said she can’t give any medicine until she knows what’s wrong, it would be safer for both you and the baby that way. For now, all she can give you is fluids to keep you hydrated.

Shortly after Pietro sprints into the room with the ultrasound machine. While Dr. Cho is setting it up another sharp pain hits you. Both Natasha and Wanda reach for one of your hands while Pietro helps Dr. Cho start up the machine so they can use it right away. Luckily with Pietro’s speed they have it working in no time and Dr. Cho can take a look at the baby with the transductor.

Everyone looks at the monitor with shocked expressions on their faces. Neither Natasha, Wanda or Pietro are by any means doctors, nor did they have much experience with reading ultrasounds, but even they could see that the baby was moving way too fast. Dr. Cho confirms their thoughts by saying, “Y/n and Natasha, it looks as if your baby has inherited y/n’s powers. And by the looks of it we need to get you to a hospital, every time you experience these pains your vitals and those from the baby seem to get worse. I’m sorry to tell you bluntly like this but you need to get a c-section as soon as possible or I’m not sure if you and the baby will make it.”

The decision to get you to the hospital was a quick one, everyone had their best interest in you and the baby surviving. With an ambulance on the way Natasha is quick to pack the last few things for your hospital bag, which luckily you had started per advice from the doctors.

Dr. Cho rode in the ambulance with you since she had experience with powered people and most ambulance and hospital personnel did not. Wanda teleports herself, Natasha, and Pietro to the emergency room where they wait for your arrival.

An hour after your arrival you’re back in the recovery room, besides being extremely tired your vitals have gone up and you’re getting stronger as well. Not only were you doing much better, so was the baby. You welcomed a baby boy into your family. Other than being on the small side since he was born premature he was a healthy baby. You named him Max, a reference to the Maximoff twins, since without them you would have never met Natasha and the rest of your chosen family.

You and the baby had to stay in the hospital for a couple of days. You for recovery and Max to get a bit stronger. Natasha stayed by your side throughout all four of the days. While Wanda and Pietro had gone back to the compound to get the team together to finish up the nursery and plan the baby shower for when you got back. It was an immense help since you hadn’t been prepared to have the baby eight weeks early.

When you brought baby Max home for the first time the living room was filled with both your friends and family, welcoming you home. The place was filled with banners saying, ‘Welcome home!’ and ‘It’s a boy!’. There was a cake with the first picture of the three of you had been printed on and a table full of presents.

After putting your bags down Pietro offered to hold his ‘little runner buddy’ so you and Natasha could properly greet everyone. Occasionally Pietro had to hold Max out since he was moving his legs at such a speed it was likely to hurt when the little feet would touch him. The superspeed made Max his arms and legs strong quickly, Dr. Cho guessed that Max would be crawling and then walking in no time. Which was scary and cool at the same time.

You had a great welcome home/baby shower party but had to excuse yourself from everyone. “Thank you so much for all of this. Please continue the celebration of our little guy, but I really have to take a nap. I haven’t had this much human interaction in a week.” You finish with a joke.

Max was fast asleep in Melina’s arms. She nods in Natasha’s direction, a silent ‘I’ve got the baby, go be with your wife.’ Natasha smiles at the gesture before she jogs up to you and places her hand on the small of your back. “Do you need anything before your nap, detka?” She asks while she places a kiss to your temple. “All I need is your cuddles.” You reply with a sleepy smile.

“Anything for my beautiful wife.” She says opening your bedroom door and inviting you in. You lay down on the bed, Natasha lays down next to you and pulls the cover up to cover the both of you. You were still very sore. The doctor had advised you to sleep on your left side, so that’s what you did. Natasha laid down as your big spoon and put a comforting arm around you.

You fell asleep in no time while Natasha took a bit longer, but she didn’t mind. She was just admiring you. She had always known you were strong, but the past couple of day you had really shown just how strong you really are. With a content sigh she falls asleep thinking of the amazing mom you are and will be.

Main taglist: @yellowvxbes // @xxromanoffxx // @xxxtwilightaxelxxx // @wandanatvoid // @wandaswifeyforlifey // @marvelwomen-simp // @snooy245 // @peggycarter-steverogers // @wandas-slut-heart // @nats-dreamland // @annephobic // @laaurrel // @catasha // @t00manyfand0ms // @multifandomlesbianic // @bandit2029 // @avengerswriter4eva // @gigistylestomlinson // @snowdrop1026 // @sylvies4ever // @youreatotalposer // @mellowladyangel // @milfloverslut // @natasha-danvers // @lyak12 // @smallestavenger // @when-wolves-howl // @svftpetker // @la-reine-des-enfers // @official-chaotic-wandamaximoff // @b0r3d-s1mp1ng-b1tch // @bubblensqueak002 // @imabee-oralizard // @rafecameronswhore // @be-missed // @romaaa28 // @youresuchamom // @youralphawolf72 // @maia-lightwoood // @rootbeerfaygo // @elliesayshello869 // @vllowe // @princessprudy // @nightingalexx // @hallecarey1

Natasha taglist: @strangegardentaco

#natasha romanoff #natasha romanoff x reader #marvel #marvel imagine #black widow #natasha x you #natasha romanoff imagine #natasha romanoff x fem!reader #natasha x reader #natasha romanoff x female reader #natasha romanoff x avenger!reader #the avengers #avengers imagine #black widow x y/n #black widow x you #black widow x reader #wanda maximoff #pietro maximoff

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wannab-urs · 1 year

Text

Build Me Up Buttercup | Ch. 2

Just to let me down?

Summary: You get a verdict on your essay and have a little run in at the bar

Word Count: 800ish - sorry it’s so short. I couldn’t resist the cliffhanger and had to cut it off.

Warnings: Still none... but we're getting closer!

P.S. I plan on updating this daily but also if I can't get a chapter finished, I can't get it finished, ya know?

You’re sitting in the library, presumably working on an essay for Modern British Lit, but really you’re thinking about Dr. Miller. Yesterday, you had been closer to him than you ever have before. You sit at the back of his class and never raise your hand to answer questions, afraid he’d dismiss your answer outright.

He’s hot from a distance sure, but up close? Holy shit. The way his curls fell over his eyes as he worked. The way his tongue poked out between his lips. It’s almost cute. And then the way his biceps bulged beneath his weathered band tee… He’s seriously gorgeous. He has to be, what? In his mid 50s? You were used to men that old looking like your granddad… he was far from looking like a grandpa yesterday.

The sound of an email notification interrupts your train of thought.

See me in my office

-Miller

How formal. God damn, he’s an asshole. He’s an asshole. He’s not fucking cute.

You assume it’s about your essay, so you decide to stop by his office after your Chaucer class. That class is a trip. The professor wears these weird ass outfits all the time with vibrantly colored pants and you’re honestly kind of living for it. But he also keeps giving you Bs on all your essays without any feedback as to why they’re not As. You’d take your solid B in that class over your 57 in Miller’s class any day though.

You resolve to go to his office hours again later today and go back to trying to write your essay.

He’s preoccupied again, taking notes on a book you can’t see the name of, when you get to his office. Today he’s opted for a black Led Zeppelin shirt that’s obviously vintage, small holes revealing tiny peeks of his broad chest. His hair is even more unruly today and the disheveled former punk vibes are a really good look on him. Bastard.

Before you even open your mouth to speak, he does that hand thing, like he’s shooing you away. You decide to just sit down and wait for him to finish what he’s doing.

After what feels like half an hour but is probably a minute, he sets his pen down in the book and closes the cover. The book is called “Neoliberalism on the Ground” Seems… actually interesting. Your eyes flick up to his face and he’s looking at you expectantly, as if you asked to see him.

“Well?” You arch an eyebrow at him.

“I reread your essay.” You stare at him waiting for him to elaborate. He doesn’t.

“And?”

“And it was good.”

It was good? That’s all? “And?”

“And I’ll change your grade to a B.”

A fucking B? Fine. Whatever. Best you’re gonna get. “Why the change of heart?”

“Didn’t read it the first time.”

“Are you serious?” No like, is he actually fucking kidding right now?

“Saw the neo-gothic cathedral on the cover, gave you a D, moved on.”

“What!? I spent hours on that! Days! And you had the audacity to not even fu--- to not even read it? Are you kidding me?”

“Listen, sweetheart, if you had to read 98 amateur architecture essays, you’d skim too.”

“Don’t call me that.”

“Do you want me to change the grade back?”

“Do you want me to report you?”

“Fair enough.”

God, you want to strangle him. “Is that all, then, Miller?”

“Don’t call me that.” Jesus fucking christ.

You roll your eyes and stomp out of his office.

You’re sitting at a hightop in the bar just off campus with Cooper and your other friend Em, filling them in on the essay drama.

“So, yeah, he called me ‘sweetheart’ and I left,” you finish.

“Wait, is Dr. Miller the hot one?”

“Yes, Em, pay attention,” Coop says, rolling their eyes.

“Yes. He’s attractive. That is SO not the point, though?!” Your friends are ridiculous.

“So… how did you get him to up the grade? Did you give him head under his desk or something?” Em teases, a conspiratorial glint in her eye.

“Gross! No!”

“I would have… I’ve seen him on campus. I’d suck the meat off them bones.”

“You are absolutely disgusting, Emily. No I did not give my professor a fucking blowjob to get a better grade!”

“I’m just saying! You could do worse…”

“I just asked him to show me a modicum of respect. Jesus fucking Christ.”

“Oh my god is that him?” Cooper is staring hard at the back of some dude’s head at the bar. He has curly brown hair streaked with gray and broad shoulders covered in a green flannel. Shit that could be him.

“There’s no way Dr. Miller is here right now. I will literally kill myself.”

At the sound of his name, Dr. Miller turns and looks over his shoulder, immediately locking eyes with you.

“Oh shit, that is him,” you say, ducking your head and hoping he won’t see you. Play it cool. There’s no way he actually heard you.

“Is he still looking?” You ask, peeking up at your friends.

“Um-” Cooper starts.

“Hi there, sweetheart.”

Tag List: @beskarandblasters, @cutesyscreenname, @atinylittlepain, @wednesdayday, @whoiscaroline, @goldenhxurs, @northernwindd, @djarinxore, @worhols, @amanitacowboy, @silkiers, @4ueijos, @livinxdeadxgrl, @chknikkbxss, @thepriceofpepper, @lexic-22, @sunshinebtrfly, @ccelinea, @harriedandharassed

#joel miller #joel miller fics #joel miller fan fiction #joel miller x reader #joel miller x you #the last of us fanfiction #tlou fanfiction #Joel Miller AU #Professor!Joel #Professor!Joel Miller

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cookies-over-yonder · 19 days

Text

terror in the face of safety

Jim has a horrific nightmare during a sleepover with Toby.

gift for @happi-tree and @vampireautism

i finally decided to crosspost this on tumblr in honour of finally finishing trollhunters!!! perhaps more toa fics coming your way, we'll see!

ao3

“ Mom! ” Jim screams, startling Toby awake. If that hadn’t woken him up, Jim’s tossing and turning definitely would have.

He turns to see Jim, sat up and panting with his hand clutched over his chest.

“You okay, Jimbo?” Toby asks, putting a hand on his sweaty, sweaty shoulder.

“My mom, she—she—she got…” Jim pauses, taking a series of far too shallow breaths. “They killed her!” he sobs.

“It was just a nightmare, dude. She’s okay.”

“I couldn’t do anything, I couldn’t save her, I—I—I—” Jim starts to hyperventilate, choking out sobs and gasping for air. “She’s gone, she’s gone, it’s my fault, it’s my fault, it’s my—”

“ Jim! ” Toby grabs his shoulders, shaking him a little. It doesn’t seem to do much good, because all he does is curl further in on himself. “You’re spiralling, man! Your mom is fine.”

He shakes his head. “No, no, no, no, I saw it, I saw it! ”

Toby’s helped Jim after nightmares before, and Jim’s done the same thing for him, but man, this is a lot worse.

He’s not calming down, if anything he’s only getting worse with each passing second.

“I—I can’t do it, Tobes, I can’t lose her too. I can’t, I can’t breathe—I can’t breathe—”

“Jim, it was just a dream!” Toby says again, hoping and failing to get through to him this time. He wraps his arms around Jim, hoping the pressure will calm him at least a little.

It doesn’t. Not really.

Toby can’t remember the last time Jim had a breakdown this bad. It had to have been when they were really little.

He glances around the room for things to help, before he spots Jim’s phone on the pillow.

“Jim, I—I’m gonna call your mom, okay?”

Jim doesn’t respond, continuing to sob into his shoulder.

Toby grabs the phone with one hand, still holding Jim with the other, unlocks it, and clicks into his contacts, dialling his mom.

“Jim? Is everything okay?”

“Uh, actually, it’s me, Dr. L.”

“Is Jim okay?”

“Yes and no? He—he’s sleeping over at my place tonight, and he had a nightmare where you… died? And he’s really freaking out, like, um—”

A particularly loud sob from Toby’s shoulder seems to prove his point.

“I—I can’t calm him down, I’m trying—”

“Can you put me on speaker with him?”

“Yeah, okay, you’re on speaker.”

Toby holds the phone near Jim’s ear.

“Jim, baby, I’m okay. I’m alive. I’m just at the hospital.”

Jim tilts his head and glances at the phone, opening his mouth, only to let out a whine.

“He’s having trouble breathing, Dr. L. I—I—I don’t know what to do.”

“Toby, can you make sure he’s sitting up properly? He’s gonna be fine, I’m coming now.”

“Okay, yeah.”

Toby plucks Jim off his shoulder and props him up against the wall with some pillows for support. His face scrunches up, and he pulls at his hair, drawing his knees to his chest.

“Stay on the line,” she adds.

“Got it.”

“Jim, honey, listen to me, I’m on my way, I’m okay. I need you to take in a deep breath for me.”

He tries, but after a split second of trying to breathe in, he sobs, and then starts gasping even louder. “Can’t. Can’t .”

“Yes, you can.”

“Mommy…” Jim cries.

“I’m almost there, baby.”

“I need you.”

Toby takes hold of Jim’s hand and squeezes it.

“I’m outside.”

“My grandma will let you in.”

“Okay, I’m gonna hang up, I’ll be there in a second.”

“No, don’t hang up!” Jim shouts just as she opens the door. “ Mom! ” he jumps off the bed, but stumbles, nearly falling before he can reach her. She catches him in her arms and scoops him up, carrying him back to the bed.

“I’m here, sweetie, I’m okay,” she says, peppering kisses onto his forehead.

“I—I—I thought you—you—you were…” he pants, unable to finish his sentence, and instead finishes it by giving her what looks like the world’s tightest hug and sobbing into her chest.

“Honey, I need you to breathe.”

“I—” he gasps, “I thought I lost you—”

“I know, I know, but I’m here.”

“Is he okay?” Toby asks her, though the answer seems to be obviously not.

“He’s having a panic attack,” she says, running her fingers through his hair. “He’ll be okay. Thank you for calling me.”

“Of course. Is—is there anything I can do?”

“Could you get me an ice pack?”

“Yes, doctor!”

Toby runs down, grabs one from the fridge, and runs back up.

Jim and his mom have their foreheads pressed together, and she’s holding his face, leading him through deep breaths as he continues crying.

“I got the ice,” Toby says, setting it down on the blanket and sitting beside Jim, rubbing his back.

“Thank you,” his mom says, taking the ice and placing it in Jim’s hands. He winces and whines. “Cold right?”

He nods.

“It’s supposed to help you ground yourself back in the present. You know, get you out of your head,” she says, kissing the top of his.

“Mmm, you’re okay,” he mumbles, taking in a few shaky, shallow breaths. “You’re alive. I—I… it felt so real.”

“You okay, Jimbo?” Toby asks.

Jim locks eyes with him for the first time since he woke up. “Ah—sorry, Tobes, I freaked you out, didn’t I?”

“Maybe a little, but it’s nothing I can’t handle,” Toby says, giving Jim a light punch to the shoulder.

“I remember when you would come to me crying from nightmares when you were little. You’d make me sleep in your bed for the whole night, and wouldn’t even let go when I had to get ready for work.”

“I—I haven’t had one that bad in a long time…”

“I wonder what caused it,” his mom says, hugging him.

“Uh, just one of those nights I guess,” he mumbles, melting in her arms.

Toby puts a hand over his, feeling how cold his fingers have gotten from the ice.

“Do… do you have to go back to work?” he asks, small and afraid.

“And leave you? Not at all.”

“But you have like… patients and stuff,” he mumbles, sniffling.

“I was nearly done my shift, actually, but even if I wasn’t, I’d be here as long as you need.”

“I was so scared, Mommy.”

“I know. It’s okay, baby, I’m here.”

“And I’m here too,” Toby adds, hugging Jim from behind. “Now you’re a Jim sandwich, see?”

Toby thinks he hears a little chuckle, and that’s more than enough for him to know that Jim is gonna be just fine.

#trollhunters #tales of arcadia #fanfic #cookies writes and cookies wrongs #jim lake jr #toby domzalski #barbara lake #toa

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alphacentaurinebula · 5 months

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I know it’s been said and said but my god RTD did Martha dirty.

Having just finished a rewatch through The End of Time, almost every single narrative choice made for Martha pissed me off but none more so then having her shooting at something and married to Mickey (?!?!?!) just so the doctor could say goodbye to them both at once (neither of them being important enough for him to actually speak to of course…tho the granddaughter of someone his human version knew for 2 months was important enough).

She’s given up medicine to shoot at aliens?? She broke off her engagement to the sweet paediatrician who in another world dies trying to save her? She’s married to Mickey (what - Rose’s reject plus the Doctor’s reject makes a good match, does it???)

I hated how her role in the s3 finale was just to spread the ‘I do believe in fairies’ message for the doctor, and I hated how the doctor was apparently happy to fall in love with pretty much every other (white) woman around. But I think I hated her ending most of all.

Overall this rewatch has been brilliant, it’s reminded me why I loved dr who in the first place after having given up partway through Moffat. It’s made me so excited for the specials and I loved Star Beast. But poor Martha!!

#doctor who #dr who #martha jones

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felicitysmoaksx · 5 months

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after, knowing they want to forget, you change the subject completely, talking and talking about nonsense until they feel better.

Jay and Will Halstead with Sarah Reese

Hi anon, thanks so much for the prompt! Hope you enjoy what I do with it. This is set in late season 3. Instead of Dr. Charles and Noah comforting Sarah after she pepper sprayed that patient we have the Halstead Brothers doing it.

“Why didn’t you call me? Sarah, I’m a police detective! I could’ve helped you if you didn’t feel safe at work.” Will didn’t bother knocking on Sarah’s front door when he heard Jay’s voice. Instead, he let himself in quietly and let the door fall shut with a click. After locking the door, Will went to the living room and leaned against one of the pillars leading to the open space. Sarah sat on the couch with his little brother. Her curls covered her face like a curtain, but the red-headed doctor could tell the woman was crying by the way she curled in on herself.

“Jay,” Will interjected quietly, stopping his brother from saying more. He moved closer until the couch was hitting the back of his legs. Then he dropped to sit beside his sister in everything but blood. “Stop. Drop the subject for tonight at least, okay?”

His younger brother looked like he wasn’t going to for a second, but then he folded his arms in a huff and leaned back against the cushions of the couch. Sarah sniffed and turned her head slightly so her wide, glassy brown eyes were on him.

“What did I just do? Is my career over?” She asked him in a broken, watery voice. Will wasn’t going to lie to her. He sighed and wrapped a comforting arm around her shoulders. The same comforting arm he wrapped around her the day Mr. Brennen died. The day he adopted her as his little sister.

“It’s bad,” he squeezed her more tightly to him as if the hug could take away the blow of his words, “And I can’t say how bad. I’m sorry, Sarah.”

A sob bubbled out of her mouth, before she tried to muffle it with her mouth. Jay sat back up as Will squeezed her again. He rested a hand on her back, “Hey, have you eaten dinner yet?”

Sarah shook her head, wrapping her arms around herself. There was a beat of silence. The Halstead brothers shared a look over the brunette’s head. Then Will took the lifeline Jay was trying to offer. If Sarah wasn’t going to take it then he was going to take it for her.

“Why don’t we go out to dinner huh? Get your mind off of things and get some fresh air huh?” Sarah was already shaking her head before the red-headed doctor was even finished talking.

“I don’t want to be around anyone we know right now. Especially anyone from the hospital.” Her words were almost inaudible.

“We don’t have to be.” Jay told her, “Will and I, we know this mom-and-pop diner in Canaryville. We can go there. Comfort food and Ms. Bea makes the best chocolate cake south of the West Loop.”

When Sarah didn’t rise to the lure of her guilty pleasure of chocolate cake, Will jumped in to sweeten the offer a little bit, “Plus when she sees us, Ms. Bea always pinches our cheeks and talks about the baby pictures our mom use to show her. So you’d have some really good blackmail material if you wanted it.”

“I’d take the opportunity while we’re letting you have it. Because the offer won’t last,” Jay nudged her with a small smirk. A piss-poor attempt at a snort left Sarah’s mouth, as she wiped her mouth and nose with her sleeve.

“Okay, but only if I get two pieces of chocolate cake.”

#one chicago #chicago med #chicago pd #Sarah Reese #Will Halstead #Jay Halstead #felicitysmoaksx 2023 advent writing challenge #my writing

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myveryownfanfiction · 1 year

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18+ MINORS AND THOSE WITHOUT AGE IN BIO DNI

Warnings: Otto having a panic attack, talk of death (Rosie) and the experiment gone wrong

AN: Another No Way Home AU! This time the cure removed the actuators.

"I will not do it. I don't care what you offer me or how often you ask. I refuse." Otto shook his head, his expression stony as the two scientists stood before me. "Norman, you weren't there. You funded everything and Harry was the one that gave me the push. Rosie died because of those things. Harry almost died." He put emphasis on the lives lost and hoped that this cured Osborn would understand what he was trying to convey. Otto's eyes flickered over to me, standing with my back to the trio but listening in. "I won't put anyone though that again." Norman looked over his shoulder and nodded in understanding. Peter sighed and tried to ease the tension in his shoulders.

"But Dr. Octavius..." Norman cut him off.

"If he doesn't want to do it, then there isn't anything we can do to change his mind Peter." He put a hand on Peter's shoulder and started to steer him away. "Otto has enough on his mind right now. We should go." Otto slumped as Norman practically forced the young hero out of the lab.

"You alright?" I asked after a few minutes of silence. Otto had sat down at his computer and was staring at the screen. He slowly turned in his chair to look at me. I could feel his eyes boring into my back. Finishing up the drone I was working on, I turned to look at him.

"Come here." Otto held out his hand and I smiled softly at him as I walked over to him. Taking his hand, he helped me climb onto his lap and settle in. Once I was secured where he wanted me with his arms wrapped tightly around me, he buried his head in my neck. I reached up and ran my fingers through the slight curls at the base of his neck. He tensed up as I brushed against the scar from the A.I. chip.

"Sorry." I whispered, pressing a kiss to his forehead. He hummed in response and held me for a little while longer.

"I think we should call it a day." He finally said, lifting his head up. I nodded, taking in the tired look in his eyes.

"Mental health day." I agreed. Otto nodded and I stood up. Taking my offered hand, Otto let me pull him up from the chair. "Take out?"

"Whatever you want. I'm not feeling particularly hungry." He murmured as he went about shutting down the lab for the day. I frowned but pulled out my phone to place the order anyway. He waited for me while I finished and held my hand all the way to the restaurant. I went in to grab the food and pay before we walked the rest of the way home. Since Otto wasn't that hungry, I put the food in the fridge. Otto went to the bedroom and found his way onto the bed. Standing in the doorway, I watched him carefully.

"Want to talk about it?" I asked finally. Otto maneuvered onto his back and watched me as I made my way to my side of the bed. "You don't have to. Norman has filled me in on a lot of what he's trying to get you to do. But something about it is bothering you." I sat down and spread my hand out, making sure out pinkies touched. He hooked his around mine and shrugged. I leaned over and kissed his cheek.

"It's just bothering me." He sighed. "They don't know what was lost the first time..." Otto trailed off, his eyes distant. I climbed into his lap and gently tugged on the hem of his shirt. Jolting out of his thoughts, Otto stared at me wide-eyed. "I'm sorry." He covered my hands gently and forced his shirt back down. "I'm not in the mood right (Y/N)." I laughed and shook my head.

"No silly. I know how you get like this. Your back is going to start to hurt soon. Phantom pains." I gently ran my hands over his stomach. "It's easier to massage them if your shirt isn't in the way." Otto sighed in relief and took off his shirt. He rolled over and laid down. I ran my hands across the expanse of his back as he propped his head on his arms.

"Norman and Peter want me to make the actuators wearable for short periods of time. For different types of experiments." He started. I hummed as I started massaging the small of his back. I tapped him and he sat up enough that I could reach around him to take off his belt. "...Like the one that permanently attached them to me in the first place." I saw the way his shoulders tensed up and I reached up to rub them. "I keep telling them I won't take that risk again. I nearly killed everyone in that room, including Harry Osborn." Otto rested his forehead against his arms, clearly starting to grow anxious over the thought.

"I understand that. Have you tried telling him that?" Otto nodded as I traced down his spine.

"I did. I even told them about Rosie." I put pressure on the middle of his spine and his breath hitched. "I didn't hold back anything about what I could remember happening. And they still want me to..." Otto broke off, his voice ending in a sob. I ran my hand over the scars that littered his back, remembering how the harness was attached to him and the amount of work Peter and I had done to remove it. The shaking of Otto's shoulders snapped me out of it and I slid off his back. Gently pushing him, Otto rolled over onto his side. He looked at me with tear soaked eyes, his breathing coming in little bursts. I instantly hugged him, grabbing and pressing his hand against my chest.

"It is alright Otto." I whispered. "In for three out for three." I counted him off and he followed my lead. "I've got you. You are going to be alright." I soothed as his breathing evened out. Closing his eyes and leaning his head against mine, Otto squeezed my hand. Smiling softly at him, I brushed his hair off his forehead. "Better?" He nodded and opened his eyes. They were still swimming with tears but he looked better than he had earlier.

"I don't want to lose you the way I lost her." He whispered, reaching up to cup my cheek. "I won't endanger Norman or Peter the way I did with Harry and my Peter." I smiled softly at him, brushing my fingers through his short curls.

"You won't." I promised. He opened his mouth to counter me but I gently kissed him. "I'll talk to Norman. You won't have to do it. And you won't endanger them." I cupped the back of his head and held him against my forehead. "You will never lose me Otto Octavius." I swore to him. "I am not going anywhere. There is nothing you can do what will make you lose me. I'm going to be right beside you through everything. Do you understand me?" Otto was tearing up again but he nodded. Closing the small gap between us, he kissed me.

"I understand." He whispered before kissing me softly again. Smiling into the kiss, I broke away.

"Great! Then let's eat. I'm starving." I climbed off the bed as Otto laughed. I smiled at him as I stood in the doorway, hand outstretched for him. Grabbing his shirt, Otto climbed off the bed and took my hand. Squeezing it, he kissed my cheek.

"Right by your side." He mused as we walked into the kitchen to reheat our dinner.

#otto octavius #otto octavius x reader #otto octavius fanfic #otto octavius fanfiction #otto octavius imagine #alfred molina #alfred molina imagine #alfred molina x reader #alfred molina fanfiction #alfred molina fanfic

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canonicallyobserving911 · 1 year

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Buck & Eddie: 6x12 Fridges & Water

Callbacks, hindsight, metaphors and foreshadowing were included in 6x12 “Recovery” regarding Buck and Eddie’s couches and hearts. But there were A LOT OF OTHER metaphors included too that revolve around Buck and Eddie’s CANON romantic relationship and two of them are their fridges and water.

Water was a huge theme throughout the episode and the inside of their fridges were on display to show the audience the contents of both of their water pitchers. Their water pitchers were used as metaphors for the way Buck felt emotionally after he almost died and to illustrate the way Eddie’s the only person who can give him what he needs.

At the beginning of the episode, Maddie was in the process of stocking Buck’s fridge with groceries but his water pitcher was EMPTY. She didn’t attempt to fill it and neither did he. The reason for that is Maddie CAN’T fill Buck’s water pitcher because there’s only one person who can and it’s Eddie. Buck didn’t fill it either because he already knows Eddie’s the only person who can fill the emptiness he feels.

Buck and Hen ate the pot roast Maddie put in the oven for Buck’s lunch but sometimes pot roast can be salty which means their water glasses should have been empty when they finished eating but they weren’t. Their glasses had equal amounts of water in them which means their water levels were the same. Dr. Salazar explained water levels to Buck later in the episode.

When Connor showed up unannounced at Buck’s loft, it was clear he wasn’t included in Maddie’s “Operation Buck up Buckaroo” plan when Buck asked him if Maddie sent him and he responded, “Was she supposed to?” Buck offered him a beer but when he went to his fridge to get it, he only opened the door to the side of his fridge that didn’t have the empty water pitcher in it. The reason for that is because Connor can’t fill Buck’s empty water pitcher either and Buck doesn’t want him to. Also Buck didn’t take a beer out of the fridge for himself, he just gave Connor one because he didn’t know why he was there and Buck’s facial expression showed he was uneasy about whatever Connor came there for. Buck was already running on NO SLEEP and he was getting agitated by all the visitors. If Josh hadn’t knocked on the door when he did, based on the way Connor was acting, it appears he was going to try and take even more from Buck in the form of his happiness if he had been given the opportunity. It’s been speculated he went to Buck because he’s thinking about bailing on being a dad since his swimmers didn’t work but who knows what’s going to happen since the sperm donor storyline appears to have changed A LOT since the end of 6A.

After Buck arrived at Eddie’s house, Eddie asked him if he wanted a beer and Buck said he probably needed two. When Eddie went into the kitchen and opened his fridge, his water pitcher was FULL and it was waiting for Buck the same way Eddie was, has been and still is waiting for him.

After Buck woke up and went into the kitchen, Eddie asked him if he still wanted a beer but Buck said, “Uh, maybe some water” and Eddie replied, “Agua on the way”.

Eddie poured Buck a glass of water, he pushed the glass over to him and Buck replied “Thank you” and drank it. This is important because Eddie’s the only person who can give Buck what he needs. Buck was running on empty and he was tired from not being able to sleep the whole episode until he went to Eddie’s house. He got the sleep he needed along with the water he needed too because he was at home with his future husband and their son.

When Buck went to his appointment with Dr. Salazar, he asked her if her patients who had near death experiences just returned to their lives as normal. Her answer included the way some of them do but she also said some of her patients quit their jobs, divorce their spouses along with the way a lot of them decide to take a trip to Italy. Buck said it was one place he’s never been then she said, “What I’ve learned from watching them is water finds it’s own levels and people do too”. She went on to explain “Recovery is a bumpy road but eventually everyone finds their equilibrium”.

Dr. Salazar’s response to Buck about water levels is important because it highlights every instance of water that was included in the episode and how Buck is going to find his equilibrium once he’s done recovering.

Buck’s water pitcher was empty and neither he nor Maddie attempted to fill it.

Buck and Hen’s water glasses had equal amounts/levels of water in them. Which could mean once Buck finds his equilibrium, he’ll be ready to enter his romantic relationship with Eddie.

Buck didn’t open the side of his fridge that had his water pitcher on it when Connor came over because Connor can’t give Buck what he needs. Also, Buck doesn’t want anything from Connor since EDDIE HAS EVERYTHING HE NEEDS and he’s been waiting for Buck to stop searching for who and what are already right in front of him.

Eddie’s water pitcher was already FULL when Buck arrived so when Buck asked him for some water after he woke up, it was ready and waiting for him the same way Eddie’s been waiting for him since 6x1 “Let the Games Begin”. Also, Buck drank the water and it replenished him and after he took a sip, he immediately asked Eddie about The Shooting (this topic will be expounded on in a different post).

For the entirety of season 6, Buck’s been searching for something, i.e., happiness, a family, job promotion and Eddie’s been waiting for him to realize everything he’s been searching for is right in front of him. Eddie has everything Buck wants including a couch/relationship, water/everything he needs, love/Eddie, a son/Chris and a family/Eddie and Chris. But Eddie’s going to keep waiting until he knows Buck is ready. Buck’s not ready now because he’s empty and questioning everything about his life. He’s scared, tired and frustrated but he knows one thing for sure, Eddie is his everything which explains the reason why he went to Eddie’s house instead of going anywhere else. Eddie didn’t crowd Buck or show up at his loft unannounced. He waited for him to come home and that’s exactly what Buck did. Buck went home and slept on his own couch at Eddie’s house why because Buck said it himself in 3x11 “Seize the Day”, “This is Eddie’s house, I’m not really a guest”.

#buddie #eddie diaz #evan buckley #911 fox #911 on fox #911onfox #911 s6 #911 season 6 #911 season finale #911 speculation #911 meta #911 #911 season 6 speculation

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rivendellfrostfair · 1 year

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You know when you realise the seeds of something you love now were sown long, long ago.

For example, I love ttrpgs, especially the rp side of it, and I started playing them a few years ago. But I was recently reminded that, between the ages of 13-15, my friends and I made up an entire role playing game (without realising that was what it was) and played it for two solid years, almost every day. It was called The Correspondence and was delightfully over dramatic, as all good teenage stories should be.

It started in what must have been a particularly boring physics class (sorry Dr Speirs) with us passing notes, when my friend Ruth decided to write to us not as herself, but Rupert, Lord Rupert to be specific. So we replied. I believe we drew pictures of socks to send him.

We kept writing replies after class had finished. And the next day. And the next. And so it grew as more and more people were invited into this network of letter writing. We swapped them at lunch and breaktimes, writing them on the bus, at the dinner table or sometimes in class. It's hard to explain just how many letters there were. Some you would never even see because they weren't to you!

We chose our names: Annapurna, Katrina, David, Rupert, Camilla, Brigitta, Helena, Margaritte, Francis - and more I can't remember!

We also chose an era and we became upper class Edwardians. Our grasp of historical accuracy was low, though Katrina became a suffragette and later, when we moved into WWI, a VAD, which fueled us all to do our own research on these amazing historical women.

We did not let reality discourage the drama though. There was a kidnapping at one point, and I still vividly remember writing my own ransom note with glee knowing I would be handing it to my friends in the morning.

Annapurna had an older sister who had been engaged to Rupert, but the sister had died of TB before they could be married. Later Rupert had married Helena but it turned out to be an unhappy marriage, and his son Francis was a disappointment to him. He had an affair with Annapurna, who was secretly living in his hunting lodge at the time. Rupert's twin David had married Brigitta and they'd had like twelve children (there was an extensive family tree so we could keep track of them all). It was all very exciting.

I loved all that world we created as teenagers, I still do. We created a wonderful game, where we could try being someone else for a bit, where we could explore ideas about what relationships were like and push the boundaries of good, and not so good, storytelling.

We kept some of the letters, but there must have been hundreds between us all, scraps of paper, backs of envelopes or pages ripped out of notebooks and many, inevitably were lost to time. Ruth was entrusted with the ones we kept. I hope she still has them somewhere, even though it's been over 14 years now.

It was never about the quality of the paper though - it was all about the words on the page - our characters only ever lived in their own words.

Which is why I think I love ttrpgs. The characters we play exist only in the words that we give them, except they also live deep in our hearts. They take up space there - and we love them.

Today I quietly added to the canon of The Correspondence and drew Annapurna and Rupert. I thought about how much things had changed since then and how much I had changed.

I think, maybe, one day, if I'm feeling bold, these drawings might find themselves in an envelope, flitting through the post, so that they might live briefly again, even if only for the length of time it takes to open a letter.

#ttrpg #ttrpg campaign #dnd #storytelling #stories #how i accidentally created a rpg as a teenager and didnt even realise it #im genuinely proud of what we did though even though im pretty sure everyone else we knew thought we were weird for it #also dont pay too much attention to the hands because we all know how much of a hassle they are to draw if they dont want to

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waldensblog · 1 year

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Reading Ruin and Rising

So I have finished The Grisha Trilogy! Overall, I quite enjoyed the book series after watching the show, and I will continue on to the Six of Crows Duology and then the King of Scars Duology. Below the cut are my thoughts on the final book in the trilogy.

TL;DR: -I liked how Alina grew more ruthless, really was full fledged. Her ending is tragic. -The Darkling basically won, and was taken down by his weakness: love. Still a Darklina stan, what a tragic romance they had. -I like Nikolai overall, and his ending is likewise sad, as he now is possessed. Kind of Darkolai ending for him. I like Nikolina too. -Mal isn’t the literal worst the entire time, but I’m not a fan of him still. I think he was not a true amplifier but a curse to whatever Grisha killed him. His happy ending comes at the expense of literally everyone else’s and the good of Ravka. -Story is overall a tragedy. A good tragedy, but a tragedy nonetheless.

Alina: Although she once again starts in a position of weakness, underground, recovering from the Chapel fight, I found myself loving the start. Alina’s developed into a morally grey and ruthless character, and I love this. She’s stuck with the apparat, but biding her time.

Her tether scene with the Darkling shows how far she’s come. She reached out to him, which surprised him, and stroke his face, taunted him with their love story - hell yeah, it was a very strong start for me.

When escaping the apparat, she almost kills (again), but only ends up branding someone. Again, loving this gray and ruthlessness, and all the inner thoughts about how very much like the Darkling she is becoming.

Alina eventually meets back up with Nikolai and they’re at the Spinning Wheel, where she trains more with Baghra, and gets stronger and stronger. During the escape from the Spinning Wheel, she uses the cut to kill someone, for the first time. She is disgusted with herself in part because yeah splitting someone in 2 would be pretty gorey, but also because of how... easy it was, how good it felt. She knows she’s going down a dark path, and I personally love to see it - because it breaks the hero archetype, giving her more an anti-hero arc.

I’ll discuss the ending itself further below, because I have a lot of thoughts on that, but to keep it brief here: the end of Alina’s story is, to me, tragic. She’s a tragic hero to me. I overall like her character, though I definitely have gripes about her at times, mostly, the Mal addiction.

The Darkling: My favourite still. The Darkling is to me an anti-villain - he does bad things for the right reasons. In another story, he may have been the anti-hero, not the one Ravka deserves perhaps, but the one Ravka needs (*Batman theme plays*).

The Darkling has basically won by the start of the story. He’s ruling Ravka, he can expand the Fold any way he wants, the King is on the run. He can ensure Grisha safety, stop the wars... he’s won. His weakness is what he always said: wanting, or more specifically: love.

When his mother jumps off a cliff, it’s because she knows this. She knows he would go after her - try to stop her from dying. Alina feels him try to pull her into the tether afterwards, and can feel his overwhelming grief. She refuses the call, but she knows. And in the Fold, when Alina loses her power - she doesn’t need the tether to feel his grief. Her metaphorical death there was too much for him. It wasn’t only about loneliness, but love. He wanted to rule with her - he wanted to his soulmate by his side. He wanted a partner. He goes about it poorly - having learned cruelty and abuse from his mother, and never breaking the cycle.

It was clear to me that they loved each other deeply as much as they hated the fact. In the tether, when he kisses her neck as she’s against him, the attraction, the pull, is very strong. At the end, she’s crying as he dies, and he just looks at her and is happy to know at least someone will mourn him - that he was loved.

I absolutely lose my mind about the fact that his body was burned alongside Ruby’s-disguised-to-look-like-Alina’s, because that was absolutely not for Ruby - who probably would not like that - it was not for him - because he probably wouldn’t like that either (though would be happy she respected his wish to burn the body) - it was certainly not for Ravka, who complained about it - this was for Alina. Alina asked for a Grisha effigy of herself to burn next to him. Her metaphorical funeral. Side by side. The immortal rulers of Ravka that could have been. As she watches this, she whispers his name in a sob. Dear.God. what a tragic lovers-to-enemies romance this is. I do wish there were more tether scenes, but I loved the ones we did get.

Nikolai: Nikolai starts on the run, and without tether scenes, we don’t get to see him for quite a while. When he finally does show up, I cheer. Yey! Our pirate prince is back! I loved all the scenes with Alina, and found their chemistry intriguing. I do feel that they could have been happy together, King and Queen of Ravka - a Grisha Queen which may have helped bridge the gap between Grisha and otkazat'sya, even leading to a Grisha king if they had a son. Certainly, that’s what both Siege and Storm and Ruin and Rising were saying was supposed to happen. I would have accepted this end, even if it wouldn’t have been my favourite, because it would be a bit status quo-y. As good a King as Nikolai may be - a great one with Alina at his side, he is still ultimately a monarch, and a mortal man. His descendants may not been as good - we could hope, if they’re Grisha, that they would be. He would have died as Alina remained ageless, so this would still have a tragic end for her. I like Nikolina, but it’s still a second choice to me after Darklina. I did have a pretty big gripe about Nikolai at the Spinning Wheel though: when it came to Genya. Sure, it’s great that he took her side, but his punishment to his father is so... what a slap on the wrist. Oh you abused this woman, well off to a warm retirement you go, I’m the King now, dad! To me, the fact that he didn’t stand trial kind of tells me the nobility will always get away with more under his rule than peasants would. He may not be the Worst, he may be a good and great king - but at the end of the day... a monarchy is still a monarchy.

The Darkolai vibes here were great - fucked, but great. The Darkling saw Nikolai at the spinning wheel, Mal too - and could have a) killed one or both, b) infect them with nichevo’ya. He specifically targeted Nikolai for option b - instead of killing the King, instead of killing Mal or infecting him. Why? Jealousy because Alina showed interest in him? Because he never saw him during tether scenes and therefore knows Alina does have genuine feelings for him? Or because... secret option C? I mean the tendrils down the throat is bit... not-hetero. They both ultimately want the same things, and in another story, another life, they may have been allies. At the end, Nikolai is still ultimately scarred, and the shadow demon-ness is not gone. A part of the Darkling lives on inside Nikolai’s body, so we... sort of have a Darkolai ending, don’t we?

The Darknikolina-ness of no tether scenes when she’s with Nikolai, the shadow demon and emerald ring, trying to cure via her light, the tendrils down the throat. My god. I am still on about this, yes. Imagine the possibilities...

Mal: Mal was not the literal worst in this book like he was in Siege and Storm. He’s finally gotten past being a drunk, angry, asshole, and now sees himself as a tool in a war. I’m glad he’s had some development, and that he’s accepted a position as not-Alina’s-lover. I find his tracker abilities absurd at times - what the hell do you mean he can target a beetle and shoot it to make a bomb explode?! WHAT? What in the world does that have to do with his being the firebird anyway? On that note, I posted this elsewhere, but I have a theory that Morozova’s third amplifier - the firebird - Morozova’s daughter and her bloodline, so Mal - is actually not a true amplifier, but a curse. Any grisha that dared kill the firebird would lose their powers, and a bunch of nearby otkazat'sya would get them. Kind of a monkey’s paw situation (you want power? wish granted - they get the amplified power, not you). Not that Mal would know that. I also think that this curse is partially why Alina was so drawn to him. It’s a bit tragic really - they think it’s a sincere affection, but it’s really the amplifier, a trap, pulling her in, luring her. It’s unfortunately dismissed immediately by Mal when Alina brings it up - what if everything between them was just the amplifier? I personally think it was. I also maintain that he was very much a drug for her. He wanted to carve out her power, and in the end, he basically did. She goes back to being “useless” Alina, and unhappily staring out a window, longing for her powers. Once again, Alina tries to tell us she is happy - despite the evidence suggesting otherwise.

The ending: I’ve already touched on the ending above a fair bit, but to summarize, I interpret the ending as a tragedy. Alina is a tragic hero - she tries to make things better, but she didn’t fix Ravka, there are still wars, and people still hate grisha. She loses her powers in the process, dying a metaphorical death and burning herself alongside her soulmate who she killed - our anti-villain, the Darkling. Nikolai is scarred, possessed, and left to rule alone, as Alina removes herself from society, sadly looking out the windows at the sunlight and wishing she had her powers, as Mal - the only happy one at the end has succeeded in keeping her weak. I know many hate the ending - I don’t, but it’s because I view it as a tragedy.

#Grishaverse #ruin and rising #grisha trilogy #darklina #nikolina #darkolai #darknikolina #anti malina

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issdisgrace · 3 months

Text

WORRIED

WARNINGS: Blood, discription of past injuries/situation, fluff, Matt needs to stop worrying so much

Blood dripped from my body onto the floor as I made way to the back. As soon as I entered the backstage area, Matt came running up to me.

“Are you ok? Your hurt. We need to get you to medical.” Concerns spewed from Matt’s mouth as I made my way back to the lock room, hearing a couple of good jobs and congratulations on the way. I let him continue on for a bit before trying to quail his worry.

“Matt, I’m fine really. I’ve been doing this for 20 years. I spent half of my career in the death match scene. This is a scratch compared to that. So trust me, I’ll be fine. I am fine. All I need is a shower.”

“But you’re bleeding everywhere.” He says as we step into the locker room.

“I know Matty, but I’m alright. If something was up, I would be in medical right now, but there isn’t. I know my body and I know I’m fine.”

“He’s right, you know Jackson. Once saw him almost bleed out, but the crazy bastard wanted to go back out and finish his match.” Mox says from his spot on the bench next to the other members of the Blackpool Combat Club.

“I remember that like it was yesterday. It was at the tournament of death and I was going against Scotty Vorktez. Landed on a light tube wrong and stabbed me below my armpit. Started gushing like a fire hydrant, had to get airlifted to a hospital, almost died on the way there. Then when I woke up in recovery, I got a real earful from both of my dads telling me how stupid I was. God, were those the good ole days.”

“You can say that again,” Mox says.

“That’s not as comforting as the two of you think it is. I still want you to go get checked out. Make sure you didn’t hurt yourself too badly.”

“Alright, alright, after my shower, I’ll go get checked out just for you. But I want a favor in return.”

“Ok.”

“I want you to calm down and stop worrying about me. As cute as it is, I don’t think it’s all that good for your body.”

“I’ll try.”

“Good, now sit pretty like you normally do and give me like 10.”

The others in the lock room chuckled as Matt’s face flushed bright red. I gave him a quick kiss on the cheek, which caused him to blush even more before I grabbed my stuff and headed into the locker room showers. I take my sweet time washing the blood off of my body as it began to slowly ache, finally catching up to me. After getting all washed up, I changed into my sweats and a sweatshirt. Heading back into the locker room. It is now only Matt and his brother Nick.

“Let me get my sneakers on and we’ll head down to medical.”

“Ok.”

“Why do you guys need to go down to medical?” Nick asks.

“Matt wants me to get me looked at because of what happened during my match and he won’t take that I’m alright and I’ve had much worse happen to me as an answer. So we are going to go to medical just so I can humor him.”

“Sounds like my brother.” Nick says as I slip on my sneakers.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Matt asks Nick.

“It means you’re like a mother hen that worries too much about me and Y/n and not yourself.”

“But that’s my job.”

“Matt, your brother’s right. You do worry too much about us.”

“Well, if you guys didn’t do stupid stuff, then I wouldn’t have to worry.”

“Sigh, I’m not gonna win this fight, so I’m gonna just gonna stop here. Let’s just head to medical.”

“You’re right, you’re not gonna win the fight. Come on.” He says, grabbing my hand and dragging me out of the locker room. I wave goodbye to Nick and he mouths back a good luck. Matt drags me the whole way there and i just let him. Getting to medical, we are met by Dr. Stella.

“Hey doc.”

“Y/n, Matt. Which one of you needs to be checked out?”

“Y/n does. He refused to come here until after his shower. He took a lot of bumps and got cut up a lot during his match and I want you to check him over to make sure he’s alright.”

“Alright. Y/n you know the drill?”

I hop up on the table and let Stella check me over. She makes note of everything before saying,

“You’re all good Y/n. If I were you, however I would get some scar cream to help the discoloration.”

“Ok will do doc.” Leaving medical I say to Matt,

“I told you I was fine, Matt.”

“I know, it just I worry about you.” Stopping, I grab Matt and force him to face me.

“I’m sorry I make you worry Matty. I’ll be safer OK?”

“Ok.” He says clearly happy with this. Taking this opportunity, I lean in and kiss him. He kisses back. I pull him flush to my body and I feel him smile into the kiss. I kiss him once more before pulling away.

“How about we get our stuff and head back to the hotel?”

“Hmm, sounds good. We’ve both had eventful nights.”

“Right about that Matty.”

#matt jackson #nick jackson #jon moxley #aew #matt jackson x male reader #matt jackson x reader #aew x male reader #aew x reader

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