#alli talks
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chapter three of mirror mine is now live! in this chapter, you’ll get to:
give gralex all the cuddles
meet alex
flirt with the ros
spend some time with nora and callie at the restaurant
reconnect (briefly) with a certain absent father
the demo has been beta'd thank you besties you're out here doing gods work🙏 but if you manage find any mistakes that slipped between the cracks, send them my way!
if you like what i do, please consider supporting me on kofi!
and now for the moment you’ve all been waiting for:
play the demo here!
#me hyperventilating as i type this out#also plugging my kofi has me SWEATING#idk im just a nervous wreck in general#goodbye#mirror mine#alli talks
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Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".
Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"
And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".
Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.
At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.
So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!
Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!
Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!
Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.
#hlep#original#mental health#my sympathies and empathies to anyone who has to rely on this kind of hlep to get what they need.#the people in my life who most need to see this post are my family but even if they did I sincerely doubt they would internalize it#i've tried to break thru to them so many times it makes my head hurt. so i am focusing on boundaries and on finding other forms of support#and this thing i learned today helps me validate those boundaries. the example with the milk was from my therapist.#the example with the towing company was a real thing that happened with my parents a few months ago while I was age 28. 28!#a full adult age! it is so infantilizing as a disabled adult to seek assistance and support from ableist parents.#they were real mad i was mad tho. and the spoons i spent trying to explain it were only the latest in a long line of#huge family-related spoon expenditures. distance and the ability to enforce boundaries helps. haven't talked to sisters for literally the#longest period of my whole life. people really believe that if they love you and try to help you they can do no wrong.#and those people are NOT great allies to the chronically sick folks in their lives.#you can adore someone and still fuck up and hurt them so bad. will your pride refuse to accept what you've done and lash out instead?#or will you have courage and be kind? will you learn and grow? all of us have prejudices and practices we are not yet aware of.#no one is pure. but will you be kind? will you be a good friend? will you grow? i hope i grow. i hope i always make the choice to grow.#i hope with every year i age i get better and better at making people feel the opposite of how my family's ableism has made me feel#i will see them seen and hear them heard and smile at their smiles. make them feel smart and held and strong.#just like i do now but even better! i am always learning better ways to be kind so i don't see why i would stop
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israel posted a video of them giving water bottles to palestinians on a beach, then destroyed their luggage and shot at them after they stopped recording.
israel posted a photo of one of their soldiers "assisting" with an elderly man, then they shot him twice in the back and killed him.
in 2015, the idf posted pr photos of an israeli soldier giving water to an elderly palestinian woman, only for them to execute her after the photo was taken.
in 2005, an idf soldier emptied his rifle into a 13-year-old palestinian schoolgirl. he said he would have done the same thing if she was 3-years-old. he was acquitted of all charged.
israel claimed that hamas beheaded 40 israeli babies and then a month later cut off power to a palestinian hospital where premature babies were on incubators.
israel bombed a group of children collecting rainwater.
israel shot and killed two palestinian children playing with their scooter.
israel shot a hard of hearing girl in the face with a stun grenade and broke her jaw.
israel is using bombs with blades that are designed to cause maximum damage to the person in range.
israel forced medical workers at al-Nasr medical center to leave babies in incubators in order to evacuate the hospital they were bombing.
israel turned off power to hospitals in palestine, forcing nurses and doctors to use their phone flashlights when treating patients.
israel raised their flag over Al Shifa hospital.
israel has blown up the chambers of the palestinian legislative council.
israel targeted a "suspicious vehicle containing several terrorists”, meanwhile the only people in the car were three girls, ages 10, 12, and 14, their grandmother, and their mother. the only survivor was the three girls' mother.
israel planted a copy of mein kampf in a children's bedroom in a gazan house they claim hamas was hiding in.
israel poured fake blood onto the floor of an israeli child's bedroom and claimed hamas killed them.
israeli soldiers posted a video of them dancing on gazan graves.
israel posted a video showing a calendar in a palestinian children's hospital was a hamas guard list because it was written in arabic.
israel was using white phosphorus on hospitals.
israel bombed a refugee camp.
israel has burned olive trees in palestine.
israel has put cement into the water supply of palestine.
israel claimed that they found tunnels under Al Shifa hospital, only for it to be exposed that those tunnels are actually in sweden.
israel built a bunker and command room under Al Shifa hospital in 1983, only for them to now say that they are hamas tunnels.
israeli police arrested an israeli high school teacher, who posted on facebook expressing sympathy with palestinian civilians who have been killed.
israeli soldiers filmed themselves throwing a stun grenade into a palestinian mosque.
we are witnessing a genocide in real time framed under the guise of stopping hamas. israel has been terrorizing palestine for as long as israel has existed, but their access to technology and social media has made it much easier to fool people into supporting them.
meanwhile, noah schnapp is posting that zionism is sexy and celebrities are standing with israel. just absolutely twisted shit.
edit: for those who would like sources, my twitter is alliiesmith. i have retweeted everything i’ve mentioned. i apologize for not providing this sooner
edit 2: i’ve had some people in the replies and reposts pointing out that linking my twitter seems like promotion. i just wanted to clear up that that was not my intention. i’ve been retweeting resources and news much faster than i’m able to add to this post, and i thought that my twitter profile could be something of a hub for information. i don’t care if you follow me, but i think scrolling through and seeing what i’ve retweeted could be helpful.
#*#allie talks#israel palestine conflict#israel#idf#palestine#gaza#west bank#politics#current events
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was rewatching fabian’s baron moment on account of it being the most delicious piece of pvp in my recent memory and ally beardsley’s growth as a player just shone through so brightly and with such clarity. after dusting off their shock they immediately asked about the nemesis ward, had enough knowledge about fellow pcs stocked to remember adaine’s ac with such like frustrated confidence and certainty, suggested to siobhan to dimension door out of adaine’s room, like. they came into this making a character with 4 dex. and now the dice deity offered to roll a check to sense if adaine was in danger. making decisions, asking questions, getting invested in the story, trying so hard with the tools they have to save characters from danger; ally beardsley is an incredible d&d player.
#blahblah tried to fly with a ribbon dancer SHUT UP. SHUT UP THEY HAD A VISION.#margaret encino’s call to the guards in battle of the brands is also a good moment#‘bonus action pick up a turtle and kiss it’ is CHARMING and FUNNY and APPRECIATES the art team#i swearrr to god if anyone comments abt them trying to railroad other players' actions. what the fuck do you want from them.#u hate when they play kristen as unserious when she’s literally a teenager with adhd + when theyre literally a comedian on a d&d comedy sho#but if theyre invested in other pc’s welfare youll shut them down too? bffr#ally beardsley you are so special to me#fully aware theyre an adult who likely does not care about people on the internet talking abt how theyre doing their job. as they should#they dont need defending they shouldnt need it people should just be normal abt them and until they are beardsley get behind me#yna.txt#fantasy high junior year spoilers#fhjy spoilers#fantasy high junior year#fhjy#dimension 20#d20#ally beardsley
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so thats why it's called the rainbow room...
#talk papa!#ally!#papa#stranger things#stranger things lgbt#gay monster show#gayer things#byler#ronance#elmax#will byers#mike wheeler#byler endgame#byler tumblr#lesbian el#steddie
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Periodic reminder that unless a person specifically and clearly tells you it is okay to tell others they are trans or queer, you should err on the side of caution and assume they do not want you to tell people (especially random people!) about their transness or queerness.
You have no idea, generally, why somebody doesn't talk openly about their trans or queer status, and you have no idea, truly, how somebody might react to that information. The most progressive person out there is still capable of harbouring incredibly negative thoughts about somebody's queer status.
#lesbian#gay#bi#bisexual#trans#transgender#queer#lgbt#lgbtq#ally advice#inspired after somebody at work outed me (again ×3)#i don't care how 'safe' you assume they will be! you cannot TRULY guarantee their safety!#you are effectively gambling with somebody's safety by assuming you can out them#also even if their safety was somehow 100% guaranteed it is still not your place to dictate what others know about THEM#like it isn't your own information you are giving out. the other person is a real human being with real thoughts...#...and there are real ramifications to your actions! this is like... real life and like... real people#anyway. i'm still fucking horrified at how cool people are (at least wrt me) with outing others 🙃🫠#and it just... further reminds me that others see me as like... a thing to be talked about/over and i'm not seen as an autonomous human#maybe that's not their intentions 9/10 times but that still doesn't justify it nor does it change how i interpret that behaviour 👍#it's just dehumanizing imo to be reminded 'your comfort DOESN'T MATTER. i think you should be talked ABOUT not TO.'#clarification for the first tag: this is the THIRD time somebody has outed me. i NEVER talk about being trans to... pretty much ANYBODY irl#it's shit like this that i have to resist taking the 'doompill' over#because it's scary and dehumanizing every. single. time. i feel so fucking scared each time#because - AGAIN - i know my safety will NEVER be guaranteed because i am trans and queer
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The caption writers this season are on their a-game
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BYLER CINEPHILES
#rip mike wheeler and will byers you would've loved letterboxd#byler#will byers#mike wheeler#ally talks
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in a month we get to see the girlies* on the screen again
*fig faeth, kristen applebees, adaine abernant, gorgug thistlespring, riz gukgak, and fabian seacaster
#kat talks#dimension 20#fantasy high#fantasy high sophomore year#fig faeth#adaine abernant#riz gukgak#gorgug thistlespring#fabian seacaster#kristen applebees#my beloveds#ok actor tags#siobhan thompson#emily axford#brian murphy#ally beardsley#zac oyama#lou wilson#brennan lee mulligan#fantasy high junior year
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Do you think Billy Batson is allowed to enter Olympus???
Would Zeus vouch for him and let him in?
Is there a door in the Rock of Eternity that opens up to Olympus?
Just imagine. This small boy in a red sweater, walking into Olympus, surrounded by ethereal and immortal gods and goddesses, just to like, pick some nice flowers for his adopted mom on Mother's Day. Or, maybe he's having lunch with some gods or deities, like that one comic panel where Billy is eating ice cream on the moon with powerful mages/people.
Would Billy Batson share a pizza with Hades? Would he have lemonade with Hera? Would Billy invite Mary to have breakfast with Artemis and Apollo?
There are so many questions, and not enough time in the day to write a cute little domestic fic about Billy Batson and his adventures in Olympus.
#billy batson#dc captain marvel#shazam#mary bromfield#greek gods#mount olympus#I often wonder about how the other gods feel about Billy Batson#Do they also wish to sponsor the boy and aid his journey in protecting the realms?#do they see a small child given the powers and responsibilities of a god or do they see themselves in his eyes like a mirror#Do these gods respect him as an ally or do they pity him#Late night talks and thoughts
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ro povs save me. ro povs. save me ro povs.
#im gonna be real with you#the club scene is quickly becoming my favourite of this chapter#and theres no telling what special scenes i might add#for that route and that route alone#soooooo#just keep that in ur cabeza when playing#...whenever i eventually manage to finish it#mirror mine#alli talks
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Perrin in Valley Windworks 💎📸🌻
Painted Adaman and Irida’s great great great great (goes on) granddaughter a while back home in sinnoh hehehehe I hope you enjoy (I still haven’t met her cause I don’t have the Kitakami Pokédex finished ughhhhhh)
Twitter link
#pokemon#Perrin#pokemon perrin#pokemon sv#art#Pokémon art#im not tagging this get fucking fucked lmfao#I miss tumblr cause I used to talk in the tags hi y’all my grandma died while I drew this :)#this painting took like 100 hours I feel and it isn’t even good I GOTTA get better#gotta learn how league artists draw like their fastness grrrrrrrr#Pokémon#Pokémon fanart#sazare#サザレ#ally draws stuff
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“Jason? Is there a reason you’re dragging that man?”
“He’s unconscious. Makes walking hard.”
love that jason is a pedantic lil shit in every universe
#drag him jason!!!#panel is from Dark Knights of Steel 1#edit: actually i finished the issue and mmm i'm not really feeling it meh#but i'm leaving my rant below because it's a really good book#listen this series is already giving me 'enchantress from the stars' vibes#okay not really but i want to talk about this book#which is a GREAT book told from 2 perspectives (and therefore 2 genres)#a sci-fi (extremely star-trek-eque) 'planet that hasn't reached space travel is being exploited by evil corp and i need to fix it#without violating the (equivalent of) prime directive#and a fantasy 'a strange witch is in the woods and she's telling me to use guerilla warefare against what i think is a dragon'#do yourself a favor and read it its great#jason todd#red hood#batman#dark knights of steel#whispers from the ally#ally reads comics
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#sydcarmy#ally#talk valentina#syd x carmy#carmy x sydney#i'm rolling with the lgbt#the bear#the bear fx
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Also idk what parent needs to hear this but with the curriculum changing to reflect bigotry, you'll have to pickup the slack at home.
Not knowing your history and awful education leads to entire countries of people that dont know what communism actually is, never learned about organized workers movements (despite capitalism being the system), and can't recognize fascism when it's staring them in the face.
It's not a coincidence bigots are densely populated in areas with awful education systems. And it's not a coincidence they don't even see it as bigotry.
My kid is 9. She knows about police brutality, classism, and racism and why we fight it. She had to. She's brown kid, poor, and ADHD; naive by nature for the moment and I don't want her being taken advantage of or exploited. It's why she knows about boundaries, saying "no", and listening to herself.
This year during PRIDE she'll learn about stonewall and why we're still fighting for that too. She's old enough to tag along and participate with more understanding so she will. She's learned about bodily autonomy and women's rights as well. And she's learned about having a healthy relationship with nature; to respect the critters, plants, water, and climate.
Protest and fighting and standing up for yourself and your rights and being a good ally are all family values in my house. And if the school won't teach that to her then it's on me, just like it's on all of us.
And no, she doesn't know or understand enough to have a whole debate but she's 9. There's still so much time to teach her more. But she understands the basics and for kids, it really doesn't need to be more complicated than that because she's just interacting with other kids.
I taught her about police & homophobia in 2020 as soon as I got her back from her homophobic dad. She was 6.
It was as easy as "But I'm a gay people too & when you say theyre gross that hurts my feelings. Do you have to think what your dad thinks?"
Giving her the freedom to make that choice herself, to disagree, and grow out of it and end that association with "gross" was the best thing I could've done for her. Cuz guess who told me she might like boys and girls 3 years later?
Those many tiny talks over time could've saved her from decades of shame induced trauma.
Our kids deserve everything. And they deserve better. We must teach them that and we need to teach them to fight for it. Teach them what to fight against.
They aren't too young. Give them more credit. "Think of the children" by educating yours.
#im also not sitting there giving lectures#just every now and then we'll talk about it - bring it up while watching a show or talk about inflation at the store for example#i don't want to discuss it with her so much that she becomes stressed by it so its only maybe once a month or so#keeps her critical thinking skills enaged#parenting#parents#allies#gen alpha#millenials#gen z#solidarity#fascism
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will and mike on that farm
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