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justpoliteconversations · 2 months

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Breakdown [Isekai!Reader + (Legend x Marin)] (Part 3)

Everything has a price, and you're about to be reminded of that.

The indulgence is real.

Part 1 / 2 / 3 / 4

Masterlist

TW: Choosing not to display warnings. Read at your own discretion.

Disclaimer: Don't own The Legend of Zelda franchise. Linked Universe is the fan creation of jojo56830.

---

Nothing in life is free. Money, time, sweat, blood, tears, everything costs something. Equivalent exchange, as it were, though the rates of such things are not for mortals to decide.

Sitting across from Time, propped upright only by the assistance of multiple pillows at your back and neck, you were learning the cost of bringing a dream to life.

Fat. Skin. Flesh.

Looking down at the hands folded on your lap, it didn't seem real. They didn't look like your hands. Just days ago, you were hale and healthy. Fit even, after having spent months traveling with an enforced all natural diet.

But now, stripped of fat and flesh, patches of new and raw skin healing in discolored stripes, the weight of the consequences was coming down on your thin (too thin) shoulders. Looking into Time's eye, you could see the veiled grief, the quiet acknowledgement of loss.

You didn't like it. He didn't deserve to shoulder this burden you'd brought into the world. It wasn't his to bear and he damned well wasn't going to take responsibility where it isn't due.

You needed him to let you see Marin. But for that to happen, he needed to feel secure in your soundness of will. He needed to understand that just because you took responsibility for your actions, did not make you a damned martyr. You weren't them. You weren't his boys.

You weren't him. And Marin was not his problem. The ramifications of her existence was yours.

"I'd do it again." You said, keeping eye contact with the man, willing him to hear, to see, the conviction in every part of you. "This is not your burden, Time. I made a choice, fully understanding that I did not know the cost. And I stand by it."

You wanted to grab his shoulders. To shake the sorrows of loss and heroism from his silent gaze. To take that great weight from his shoulders. A weight he seemed so willing to grow with each lash of the heart, like the god-damned self-sacrificing idiot he was made to be.

This world should have let him retire when he put that sword back to the stone. He'd already paid his dues. Twice over. Thrice. They all had. These selfless, courageous boys without a thread of self-preservation between the lot of them.

They will take no more burdens upon themselves, if you can help it.

Time held your gaze, seemingly unmoved but for the gradual easing of his shoulders. You pushed your advantage, sensing the weakening of his own resolve. "This was my choice. I made it willingly."

His eye shifted, searching for weakness in your own resolve. You were tempted to straighten your back and feign strength you didn't possess, but decided against it. This was not the time for false bravo.

But still, you refused to give an inch. "I don't regret it."

"You may never walk again." Time said mildly, trying to get a rise from you with his blase tone. To pull forth resentment that did not exist. Marin was not deserving of your wrath for this, and the one's who were were well out of reach.

You'd simply have to accept that. One day.

"That will make traveling difficult. I apologize for the inconvenience. I'll do my best to recover quickly." You said back just as mildly.

His brow twitched at the blatant jab, but he kept his cool admirably. "See that you do." He tilted his head, still searching. Prepared to push even more. "The others would be very upset if you had to stay behind."

"But not you?" You countered, redirecting the implications behind his words.

He didn't bite. "Wind misses you."

It was a low blow, and you were sure the unimpressed blink you leveled at the man was evident enough of your judgement. He didn't back down though, instead meeting your stare evenly with his one eye.

You smiled, pushing through it, determined still in the face of his stubbornness. "I'd imagine not as much as Marin." His face was carefully neutral, and you knew you had him cornered.

"No." He said, face falling into it's usual serious frown. Or, more accurately, his newest mask.

You frowned back, narrowing your eyes at him. "I'm within my rights to see the woman I dragged into this world. So, unless she told you otherwise I'd like to see her myself." You told him plainly, knowing his answer. It's been what Sky had told you, what Four had told you. You'd yet to corner Hyrule or Twilight yet, their sixth sense pinpointing your predatory interest before you could ambush them.

Damned survival instincts. You couldn't help but admire them, despite the inconvenience.

"The situation is complicated."

"Then uncomplicate it for me, Time. I can't just abandon her after what I did." You bulldozed through, knowing that this was the man you needed to convince. Not Sky, not Four, not any of them. Just this one.

His face went neutral again, and you wanted to soften, wanted to ease back and let the man just be. You couldn't though, even if it hurt you to pick at his own insecurities.

You didn't want to hurt him, but you'd prefer this old pain to settle upon his heart like a worn jacket then to allow this new ache to wear blisters into his skin. It was your burden. He didn't need another scar across his weary soul.

He closed his eye, leaned back heavily into the chair and sighed deeply. Progress. You were wearing him down, slowly but inevitably. He couldn't keep Marin and you apart forever, no matter how hard he tried. But, for him to concede would be for him to relinquish ownership of responsibility.

You needed him to let go.

Finally, he spoke. "When you pulled her through the portal, she was only half formed. You both were." You had- not known that. No one had had the heart to tell you, it seemed.

Your voice nearly trembled. "Marin-"

"She lives." He grit his teeth subtly, pushing forward with forced evenness. "Hyrule managed to stabilize her, and Sky used a fairy on you. Unfortunately, she could only do so much for such extensive damage."

You nod, glancing down at your rail thin arms laying crossed upon the blanket before looking back to Time's gaze. He had been looking too, eye brimming with compassion and frustration both.

"We initially tried to keep you together, as you both seemed to take comfort from each other's presence." His frown deepened. "However, we quickly realized that was infeasible. Whatever had been happening before you exited the portal progressed further after prolonged contact."

He leaned forward, narrowing his eye and you tightened your grip on the blanket with weakly shaking hands. You'd barely the strength to keep the bunched fabric between your fingers. The weight of his stare nearly made you falter, but you held his gaze.

"She began cannibalizing your body, to continue building her own. We moved her to another room shortly after. She's still unconscious, though stable at the moment."

Your heart dropped, the heavy weight of realization bearing down on you with harsh clarity. "That's why you've been keeping Legend away, and you're keeping Four, Sky and Twilight at my side." Your hands shook harder. Your heart squeezed in your chest like a cold vice. "It's why Hyrule's not allowed to be alone with me."

The dark look that settled on Time's expression said everything you need to know. A quiet admission of choice.

"Ah." You huffed, mirthless. Your heart was shaking. "I've caused you unnecessary conflict." You grit your teeth, and bowed you head. "I am sorry, Link. For the hurt I have caused you and the others."

Tears nearly fell from your eyes as emotion gripped you, but you held them in with steadfast resolve. This was not the time, nor the place. Especially not now.

The goal remains unchanged, but now the stakes are higher than ever. The consequences of failure unfathomable. You could not falter. You could not afford to lose this battle.

"I accept the consequences. I will fix what I have broken. Please, take me to her." You said, determination rising forth like fire in your eyes, your expression, your whole being. Overcome with purpose so powerful it boiled hot in your marrow. "Let me see them."

You could see the moment he broke.

He nodded, the weight of years on his shoulders. "Okay."

---

Time carried you through the halls of the house, arms strong and unmovable under your diminished form. Whose house this belonged to you couldn't say, but it felt safe and warm, colored walls and thick carpet ripe with the comforting feeling of home.

A flash of color stole your attention and you managed to catch a glimpse of curling brown and forest green before it disappeared around the corner. The absence of footsteps gave name to the elusive figure, and another piece of your heart crumbled.

Hyrule. Maintaining vigilance over you in the only way he could (that Time would allow). Torn between his need to help, and his loyalty to Legend. Too sweet to push, too pragmatic to yeild. Caught in the tragedy of sacrifice, the curse and blessing both of his blood.

You had so much to atone for. So much hurt to mend.

You turned your head, pressing the side of your face to Time's collarbone. You whispered. "I'll fix this, Link." Your hand fisted weakly into his shirt, trying to imbue the strength of your will into the contact. "Thank you for protecting me."

His arms tightened around you, the movement so miniscule it was barely the tensing of muscles against your thin body. But to you, it was a pact, the promise of protection of the highest degree. A vow made in the shedding of blood.

You realized once more, that you would never leave this world. These men. This bond that had finally looped it's chains around you, anchored itself into your soul.

Your fate was sealed the moment you shed blood for them.

No. From the moment Wind had curled his hands around your fingers to encase a rupee. From the moment Wild had left the bright firelight of their camp to bring you supper. From the moment Wolfie had curled beside you, shielding you from the icy wind as pride kept you from the warmth of shared company.

There truly was no going back. There never had been. Not for you. Not for them.

What a fool you'd been.

What a God-damned prideful fool. To think you wouldn't fall in love with these perfectly imperfect men. These bleeding hearts, these righteous idiots.

You tightened your jaw, closed your eyes and breathed.

'I'm sorry, Legend. I'll be there soon. I'll fix this. No matter what it takes. I promise.'

---

I return to the shadows once more.

#linked universe #linked universe x reader #legend x marin #isekai reader #time is a bro and a dad #let time retire

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munamania · 3 months

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ok um i am going to vent on something as someone with an outside perspective and people are going to be normal about that right. okay lol. im sick of hearing about taylor swift <3 as compared to a few years ago even she is like... suffocating. and i feel like we never advance this conversation because on one hand we have people who swing into full misogyny when talking about her, and on the other we have people who won't admit that she blatantly uses feminism to deflect from her problematic behaviors, or at least they won't like, do anything about it, and in this way she sort of ends up misleading a lot of young girls into like. girlboss liberal white feminism. im not saying shes a supervillain for it but you can't deny the ramifications of what she does and doesn't speak up about, just given the absolutely massive platform she has. she is the biggest pop star in the world

for the record, i don't expect taylor to be like. a normal person. she was very famous from a very young age and people aren't normal about teen/adolescent stars, especially when they're girls and women. she had her personal drama aired out in front of the world, had so much misogynistic dialogue surrounding her, from demeaning her success to interrogating her dating life (and never holding the pedos who preyed on her at a young age to any sort of standard!) and for many years people weren't very critical of that. it was normalized to be trashing this young girl's name and saying vile shit about her to like the entire nation and i dont blame her for being like, a little off after that. and yeah i also don’t think we should look to celebrities as our end all be all of activism and opinions on sociopolitical issues

but we've gone full swing into like. she is so famous and so big that her actions can be harmful and she does these things anyway because she doesn't expect her fanbase to hold her accountable, lest they be acting like the very sexists who tried to ruin her career. at least i imagine that's what the thought process is like, at least at some level, but at this point it's just like. this woman makes so much money. so much money it's ridiculous. idk how y'all fathomed paying so much for concert tickets but like i'll give props that they at least seemed to have some insane production/theatrics... so like alright. there's that.

but she is reselling the same songs. sometimes that don't sound that good. and making more money off that. yes yes to 'officially own them' and whatever. and releasing vault tracks and other versions of albums with different songs on them. but never all the same bc u need to collect them all. and the thing is some of them are like kinda bad. but you listen to them anyway because we live in a time of overconsumption/consumerism in late capitalism and it's like trendy and fun to be able to tell what song of hers is playing in the first millisecond. sorry or just your personal attachment to her. and don't say it's embarrassing to be a taylor swift fan these days she's like. so huge. and some of you equate embarrassment with having to hear criticism toward her. which might not be as common if swifties idk stepped it up and actually expected something from her?

which i guess is getting me to my main point here. can you imagine like. what would happen if taylor swift actually said anything about palestine? or anything of value in the world right now? no one's asking her to be a fucking scholar on it but genuinely sorry there’s like a genocide. several. the most documented real time genocide of our time i don’t care if it makes you upset that people expect something from her. she is time's person of the year. she has everyone from young girls to lesbians to gay men to bored football wives to dads to well fucking etc you get the point tuned in. she has dabbled in so many different spaces done so many collaborations aligned herself with so many entities who can keep up? if she, as massive as she is right now, posted something as simple as 'free palestine' or called for a ceasefire, can you imagine what would happen? i can’t help but think about it when day in and day out my feed is filled with screaming people being pulled from rubble or having their limbs amputated.

but she won't, because, quite frankly, what does she have to gain from it? she’s teaming up with the nfl right now to make some more money, she's gotta have at least like 4 new albums recorded in the last two years and at least um what three more that you're expecting? and she doesn't even have to like? write new music really? (edit: oh boy!) why the fuck would she be doing anything with her time other than poisoning the planet with jet fuel to visit her pr boyfriend?

taylor swift is never gonna be punk or what the hell ever beyond like a white liberal-at-best moderate woman. but if any of you could talk to each other and talk about, like, organizing in ways that it would be impossible for her to continue to ignore these situations, and just keep playing her tour FILM (how could i forget) in israel and etc, like if you could flood her socials or do a mass movement (and it would be massive given the sheer amount of peoples' top artists she's in) of not listening/buying/interacting with her stuff, until her agents and whatever had to make some sort of statement? like that's the only chance we've got with her

i'm not saying don’t be her fan, or listen to her music, or have an attachment, etc, but she's been around enough vile, anti-feminist, racist things this past year that y'all DO need to hold her accountable. like way more than you do. or it's going to be like really difficult to. tolerate it. haha. like you SHOULD be vocally and loudly disapproving of her actions when it causes a lot of damage overall. speaking up about her insane climate irresponsibility when we're having the hottest years on record is not the same as the people who felt the need to like pick apart her dating life on the news. but can we talk about how she's officially like. circled back and now is purposefully making news about her dating life? for her personal gain and that of the fucking nfl? lol. in a way it is funny for her to ‘take that power back’ in a way, of her image, and i think that’s how some people might view it, but like on the other hand she obviously is gaining a lot from this. you know. a lot of actual money. she is going to profit off this image of her being misunderstood etc for as long as u guys allow it and well i just think that has run its course. yk

continuing into 2024 (edit: and now with the release of a new album!) i don't want to see swifties automatically exonerating themselves from difficult conversations because like they feel like their fave has faced enough unwarranted criticism. or bc other people should also be criticized. much of it is warranted! and you guys need to grow up and be able to talk about it and stop painting taylor swift's face as like the Pinnacle of feminism. she doesn't and shouldn't have to be, and she isn't, and she should in fact be held accountable when she does really fucking shitty things on account of they're shitty! i don't care that she's a woman! it's like that meme of oh yay a woman democrat sent these missiles. oh yay a woman is massively damaging the planet and proudly dated a violent misogynistic racist, and faced minimum criticism for these things over and over because your only comeback is ‘well what about’ if a man did the same thing, etc, you refuse to just look at the situation we do have. yes we should. we should do that we should hold men accountable but you can also like not accept awful fucking behavior from your faves when you have a chance. do you think that’s helping feminism genuinely. use your voice use your power (your money) to like. do something for once. i cannot keep living in the taylor swift echo chamber.

and for the record. i like enjoyed taylor like back when i was a young girl and she had a few songs on the radio, and i honestly even had a moment where i used guys' opinions on her as a first step to navigate who i felt safe around in a very hypermasculine sexist college space. because yes. some people do need feminism 101 and some people's genuinely misogynistic rage will be demonstrated in their hatred of taylor and her success. but at some point we gotta move on from that. if some people will look at the most powerful woman in the world, who has enough money to stay away from them and an extremely massive loyal fanbase watching and supporting her every move - if some men take out their hatred on her, a powerful white woman, how do you think they view and treat women who are not white, thin, "conventionally"/eurocentrically attractive, or accessible to cis/het audiences?

anyway i hope that i can bring a conversation to the swiftieverse cause i honestly believe u guys could have comparable impact to like. bts stans. maybe. if you put your minds together for a good cause. and we don’t have to do the oppression olympics or whataboutisms or WHATEVER for forever. can we please move the conversation forward does anyone else feel insane with like where we’re at

on that note, i really do think now is the perfect moment for you to disrupt shit with your voices and demand better from her. it might not save the world, but it could make a huge difference in changing peoples' minds

okay um. thanks 👍

tldr i can’t do another year of swiftie discourse i just can’t please if there is a god out there help us

#abby talks #well here’s a draft that i guess is relevant #taylor swift #swifties #swiftie #midnights #1989 #folklore #evermore #taylor’s version #travis kelce #long post #ok swiftie mutuals u better have my back here 😇👍

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strawberry-jan · 5 months

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I had thought that my days of writing long fandom effort-posts were behind me but then I finished Gaiden and welp, here I am. I ugly sobbed at the ending and then spent the next several hours ugly sobbing in textual form at friends. I have some thoughts; I am going to put a few spoiler-heavy ones (read: a lot of them) under the cut after this brief (read: lengthy) spoiler-free introduction.

Y6 and Y7 left me feeling like the writers should’ve just retired Kiryu from the series after Y5, even if it meant leaving him lying there in the snow and never following up on whether he’d actually made it back to Haruka or was just dreaming. I have complained at length about nearly every aspect of Y6, but since it’s directly relevant to my feelings about Gaiden, let me state my gripe with the ending specifically: it was an absolutely bizarre move to position that game’s ending (1) after Y5 and (2) within a game that hits the player over the head repeatedly with the message that setting yourself on fire to keep other people warm is a mistake that hurts not only you but also those around you.

Kiryu walks down the sunny path away from Morning Glory at the end of Y6, and everything about the framing suggests that even though it’s bittersweet, it ultimately tends toward sweet: the old generation has made way for the new, Yuta is there to look after Haruka in Kiryu’s place (don't get me started on this), and his family is safe for good. The problem with this is that it’s a shit resolution considering the game’s themes and also a devastating ending specifically for Kiryu. We’ve just come off the heels of Y5, where it’s more obvious than ever that despite his gruff, stoic exterior, at heart he’s a warm, caring man who badly needs to be with the people he loves. Exiling himself to Nagasugai made him unspeakably unhappy; what he wants, and what everyone in his family wants, is to be together, and this is something that Y6 harps on initially and then forgets in its ending. Walking away from Morning Glory forever is condemning himself to a lingering death and neither Y6 nor Y7 acknowledges this meaningfully. (Y7, in fact, is infuriating about this; Kiryu’s cameo there felt so cheap and unnecessary that I, one of the man’s biggest fans, was irritated at seeing him there.) It would have been kinder to just kill him outright at the end of Y6.

In that context, Gaiden feels like an apology that also tells you, gently, that we're at the end of an era - for real this time.

Like a Dragon Gaiden: The Man Who Still Thinks Sunglasses Are a Proper Disguise is a roughly 25-hour outing (depending on how much time you sink into mahjong and whether you can get over your embarrassment long enough to close your blinds and watch the painfully awkward live-action hostess videos) in which the writers spend most of the run-time reassuring you, “Yes, actually, we do understand this character and the ramifications of his decision.” There are so many points in the story where it comes up that his family is the one thing that Kiryu wants and the one thing he can’t have. He’s explicit about his desire; you can go so far as to ask a wish-granting vagrant in a silly substory full of Dragon Ball (and also ball) jokes to give him his happy, peaceful life back, because even when Kiryu’s up to his balls in testicular puns, that’s what’s on his mind. There’s no façade that he puts up; the game simply acknowledges this want and goes, “Yes, that was the lesson you learned and discarded; sorry that you can’t act on it anymore, but that window closed in 2016 when you decided to die instead of taking the briefcase full of cash.”

So. This is sad enough. But what really broke me about the ending – and what I know really broke a lot of other people – was the fact that it’s so devastatingly clear that even if Kiryu were to have taken the Omi’s terrible offer to do away with Hanawa and get himself back to Okinawa, it wouldn’t have mattered. I think the writers were very deliberate about having everyone refer to the “kids in Okinawa” (yes, also in Japanese) when they make threats toward Kiryu’s family or talk about his desire to see them again. Kiryu thinks of them as his kids, but when he looks at the recording on Hanawa’s tablet, he sees adults with adult jobs and adult lives of their own. They love him, but their world has moved on without him, and there are no “kids in Okinawa” to return to; all this time, Kiryu has been clinging to a vision of his peaceful life with his kids that doesn’t exist and, in fact, cannot exist anymore. The series has always taken place (barring the spinoffs) roughly in the present moment with real time passing between entries, and I’ve never felt it so painfully acutely as I did in that moment when Kiryu realizes that Haruto can write.

And this is all of a piece, I think, with the speech he gives earlier in the game about wanting to do right by Kazama, Nishiki, and Yumi – more idealized visions of people he once knew and still loves. Hell, even though I’m disappointed not to get the fanservice that would’ve been Kiryu talking to Daigo, Majima, and Saejima at length, none of those members of the old guard have interacted with him since he left the hospital and went to jail at the start of Y6. It’s not just his kids who have moved on: Daigo is doing things for himself without sneaking back into Suzuki Taichi’s life to beg him for advice, and though Majima does roll his eye at Kiryu and tell him to stick around for a bit after the brawl (and the little knife-throw made me go hohohoh because I'm shameless and will take whatever scraps the studio deigns to give me), he and Saejima are bickering and joking around with each other like an old married couple. They’ve moved on, too, and Kiryu’s world is ghosts all the way down.

It's not all miserable, of course. I do genuinely love that Kiryu’s kids are happy, and although Kiryu sobs that he needed them more than they needed him, that seems more like a function of his chronically low self-esteem than anything based in reality. You can tell that the Morning Glory kids regarded him as a positive force in their lives and that they still do as adults – Taichi, for instance, says that he decided to be a firefighter because he wanted to protect people like Kiryu did. Kiryu’s family looked up to him but, crucially, without falling into the cycle that Kiryu did when he looked up to his own father figure. And it really warms my heart that clearly Haruka has been telling Haruto about her dad, such that the kid knows enough about oji-san to draw a picture of him with the rest of his family. I think a lot of other media’s writers would have chosen to make the Morning Glory kids bitter about Kiryu’s absence, to have them resent their dad for repeatedly disappearing on them. Maybe they did in fact feel upset with him for a while, but the video presents them all as happy and hopeful that maybe someday their not-dead dad will come back to have a drink with them – and I do hope that Y8 allows this to happen in some way. It wouldn’t be a return to his old life, but it would be something.

Anyway: I’d feel weird about talking at such great length about all of this without talking about the Big Dissolution Brawl and everything around it. It's all connected, after all. Just as Kiryu comes to the painful acknowledgement that his little world has moved on, so too does he have to beat it into Shishido’s skull that the organization that he’s still clinging to is a thing of the past. It’s not just that anti-Yakuza laws are making it more difficult for them to function and that the police and politicians have found ways to use them as scapegoats and pawns. It’s also that everyone who’s been in the business long enough understands that even the best men among them are still bastards and their organizations aren’t worth saving. Tsuruno – probably my favourite new character – is a fiercely loyal man who’s known for taking guys like Shishido under his wing; he also has no compunctions about plotting to murder Hanawa, threatening Kiryu’s family as a manipulation tactic, threatening Kiryu himself with a red-hot branding iron, and using Kiryu as an accessory to murder. Notable cool dude Watase made use of the Kijin Clan because their assassination services were necessary for him to get ahead, and he and Tsuruno readily discard Nishitani III the second he becomes a liability – gotta break a few eggs to make an omelet, after all. (I am not going into anything else about whatever the writers thought they were doing with Nishitani. I think there was something to do there with the game's interest in names and legacy but then, in classic RGG Studio fashion, they forgot to elaborate on it in any meaningful way.) For the first time since the late 80s, Kiryu is even forced to explicitly consider Kazama’s faults – albeit only briefly, and only in a substory.

Shishido himself wants to be the final boss of a previous game as if there's some kind of throne left to contend for (and his final fight is actually pretty reminiscent of the brawl with Aizawa, a high point in the series). And, at Kiryu’s insistence, he’s allowed to get out his blustering final speech about it – but he shouts about refusing to allow the old guard to dismantle the structure he’s ascended while everyone around him who actually matters is standing there, like, “Dude, the Tojo and Omi are over; read the room.” We're playing through the epilogue to Kiryu's saga, and we're seeing everything that drove that saga's conflicts being tied up or taken apart as needed. The kids will be alright no matter what happens to Kiryu, and while we already saw the Tojo Clan bite it in Y7 after its long decline over the course of the series, we're finally seeing that from the perspective of the guy who prolonged things by shoving Daigo into the chairman's seat and coming back to Kamurocho once a year or so for a Millennium Tower punch-out. Kiryu even acknowledges that, like Shishido, he loves this shit - "You hear someone out there's stronger... And soon your only thought is how to defeat them," he tells the man. But he goes on to say that that dream is meaningless in the face of other people's daily struggles. Again, it's time for everyone to move on. It's time for you as the player to move on, and you're being given one last real-time shirt-rip brawl against a man who won't accept that the era is over in order to underscore the point that it's over.

I’m not entirely sure how to finish this already too long post. There's a lot I haven't even touched on. I will say that I love Hanawa and Akame and Tsuruno. I love going back to Sotenbori. I love yet another game in which I can slam through the koi-koi and mahjong completion lists. I love all the callbacks and the sequence in the castle where you fight not-Kiryu and they've given him Gun and Sword like some kind of budget Sakamoto Ryoma. I love playing dress-up with my big burly guy. I love everything about the big boys’ night out in Chapter 4. I love that immediately after being tortured by Daidoji agents Kiryu can wander into the next room over to ask for a turn on their Sega Master System. I love how funny this game is when it's not socking me repeatedly in the gut. More than anything, I love that even though Kiryu’s enduring the world’s most drawn-out death sentence he’s still Kiryu and he’ll still snark at people and get really into little cars and involve himself in people's problems at the drop of a hat. I wish that I’d gotten to see Kiryu getting tripe with the old Tojo guard at the end of the game, but that’s what fic is for. I will not be writing that fic any time soon because I’m still way too deep in my feelings about this game to write anything cheerful about it. As I said, Gaiden feels like an apology, and while it made me cry harder than a video game has ever made me cry before, I’m so happy to have received it.

#like a dragon gaiden #there are no spoilers above the cut but if you click through uhhh watch out #this was an embarrassing number of words SORRY #and I hardly touched on some aspects of the plot

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slipperypoppet · 1 year

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“Bad things happen to good characters because our actions have consequences, and we do not all behave perfectly all the time. As soon as you start protecting your characters from the ramifications of their less-than-lofty behavior, your story will start to feel flat and pointless just like in real life. “

- Anne Lamott, Bird by Bird

Read this quote and immediately thought of the intrepid heroes

#dimension 20 #neverafter #d20 #dim20 #intrepid heroes #fantasy high

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randomnoteforfuturereference · 3 months

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Those who go "Criticizing the Israeli government isn't antisemitic... but accusing it of apartheid or genocide is" do themselves no favors. Nor do they do Israel any favors in the long term.

Before I proceed, I need to make clear (both to Israelis as well as "antizionists"/tankies) when the accusation is paired with a declaration that Israel shouldn't exist, I'll agree that's when we get into antisemitism. After all, it'd be baffling to say that Serbia, China, or Sudan should cease existing for their part in genocide within the past 3 decades (not to be confused with the stance that certain parts of those nations have full grounds to break away), and only a relative fringe (your daily reminder that tumblr/twitter is not real life) will say the same about all the countries in the Americas.

Setting that aside, my issue is declaring that you can't say genocide or apartheid takes the teeth out of arguments to make them palatable for the political establishment.

Usually when I see people deny that apartheid, they bring up how Israeli Arabs have all the rights of citizenry. Except they fail to address how the accusation is leveled primarily at Israel's treatment of the West Bank (the settlements fulfill the literal translation of the "apartheid"). Or how within Israel proper, you can see a concerted campaign by the right to further marginalize Arab communities; from Netanyahu declaring Arab voters a fifth column, to the clear intent of the "nation state law", to incitement of violence from mobs and MKs.

Standing Together elaborates on the apartheid element:

Now for the genocide part, one could argue about the whether this actually meets the academic definition. However I'd still argue that by itself, accusing the Israeli government of genocide isn't inherently antisemitic even if it's frequently stated by those who are. Death toll aside, if you not only look at the progressive nature of the evacuation orders that pushes Gazans into an ever shrinking "safe zone" with no provision for return, it's not hard for it to meet at least the ethnic cleansing criteria.

Importantly, the Israeli government has done nothing to reign in extremism. By not shutting down its genocidal members (who are signaling that they want to resettle Gaza) or doing anything more than wrist-slapping mobs, it essentially approves that ideology. So while Israelis as a whole aren't genocidal, those who are are where it counts. Which then is where you have intent, regardless of Bibi's English statements to the world.

Also, no, not everyone who suffers deprivation or hardship is gonna become a genocidal terrorist. But it's well-documented that such conditions do make it easier for extremist groups to gain influence and recruit. In that regard, I argue that "Oct 7 was a natural consequence" is also a harsh but valid statement; not just due to conditions that make it easier for Hamas to get control (and gain popularity in the WB) but also because it's clear as day that the far-right coalition's push for WB occupation actually weakened Israeli security.

And comparing yourself to the conduct of Hamas or any of the Arab states to make yourself look better is an utter fallacy.

It's fair to point out the hypocrisy of those who level the accusations but don't say a peep about Russia or China (or how Arab states treat Palestinian refugees for that matter). And I think it's fair to ask anyone who comes out with such an accusation to clarify if they are just critiquing your gov/military's actions or your very existence.

But when "It's fair to criticize Israel" is repeatedly followed by "Not like That", it raises the question as to whether you really are inviting criticism of Israeli policy. Because hating Bibi is easy; harder is addressing the conditions that allowed him to come to power and the long-term ramifications.

#israel palestine conflict #israel

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fishareglorious · 3 months

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If someone were to be deciding between either limbus company or reverse 1999, which would you recommend and why? What would you say are the pros and cons?

I enjoy both R1999's and Limbus' story and gameplay, and both its cast of characters remain pretty intriguing enough. But I will be upfront about the fact that I will a little more biased on R199 since its currently filling up the spaces between my neurons currently, and that I've dropped Limbus months ago due to the company's actions towards its workers. All in all, if you want to play Limbus, all I ask of you is to not give the game any real-life money.

I really do want to give both games a fair chance, so I would say my verdict would be for you to try both games and see if like one or even both?

A whole ass essay under the cut:

Anyhow, when it comes to recommending it, I.. would say to a general audience, R1999's more palatable? Limbus' contents (see: its giant trigger warnings screen when you start the game for the first time) aren't quite for everyone, so if any of these aren’t for you, please take care of yourself.

Limbus gameplay is something that plays in my head even if I haven’t touched it in months. The difficulty spike is infamously vertical, but if you enjoy a good challenge, figuring out battles is really gratifying. Probably is one of the things I really miss about the game, as much as it did frustrate me to the point of insanity.

For the characters, I did really like the fact all of the playable characters take inspiration from classic literature (ie, Ishmael is inspired from Ishmael from Moby Dick, Heathcliff is from Wuthering Heights by Emily Bronte, Faust from Goethe's Faust, Gregor as Gregor Samsa from Kafka's Metamorphosis, etc.), and the setting of the City as an ultra capitalist hell that has SCP-esque creatures wreaking havoc after the downfall of an eldritch horror energy company is a very fascinating and intriguing world.

One of the big things I can think people praise about Limbus is that almost all gacha content are actually obtainable with enough grinding; barring the pretty new Walpurgisnacht content, which I think is limited?

The game has utterly banger soundtracks including original songs from Mili is spectacularly weaved into the boss battles, sound design that is immaculately crunchy in a satisfying way (I. admit I sometimes open some character's attack audios. for fun at one point. let us ignore i am the guy obsessed with outis and I play her voicelines because she's. her.) and top-notch voice acting. While it doesn't have a english dub, but I think even if they had one I don't think they'll come quite close to the korean VA's performances.

I may not have touched the game in months but I do still carry a fondness for these gang of murderous morally gray-to-black bastards and their sad sopping wet amnesiac manager.

And let's get to R1999. It's been taking up space in my brain for a while now. The cast of characters are certainly interesting, and there is lore jam-packed into almost every bit of the story. The whole world and the ramifications and effects of the Storm pose an intriguing conflict and I'll surely be tuned in to how the main story will turn out. The events are also a joy to watch and play.

As for the gameplay, if the levels aren't kicking your ass and you're evenly matched with your enemies, I really do enjoy the process of strategizing how to defeat the enemies. Unlike Limbus flinging you out into the world and into the battle; the tutorial on how R1999's battle mechanic certainly eases you better into knowing the basics. My only complaint in here is that the end-game grind is horrific. Farming for stuff for your characters in the highest levels will have you ripping your hair out (at least, that was my experience), but at the last going through the main story content doesn't actually require you to be on a high level with your roster of characters.

I appreciate how it does look like a lot of things in R1999 take context from actual historical things that have happened, though unfortunately I'm not really that much of a history buff to fully get some references and appreciate it, which is a bit of a shame.

The game's soundtrack is simply chef's kiss. I admit I don't really have audio on when i play casually, but when I do have it on while playing through the story, the music really does deliver and drive in what the game wants you to really feel during scenes. The music in chapter 3's various chess scenes drive in Constantine's scheming and the buildup of dread as you see it all unfurl before your eyes. The solemnity of the music in the final scenes of chapter 2. A ping pong game being somehow incredibly intense. That one OST that plays whenever someone goes silly time. Green Lake's absolute bop of an OST can I just link it here man. R1999 composers giving y'all a big plate of your favorite food.

Anyways. I think this has like. gone on and on and I am not good with writing conclusions so. To say what I said at the very start, I think you should both games a fair chance, so I would say my verdict would be for you to try both games and see if like one or even both? Up to you.

Most of all have fun and don't give into the gacha addiction. That is all.

#fish asks #reverse 1999 #limbus company #mostly just rambled about what i particularly enjoy about the games #i. do hope this somewhat helps you? idk.#WHY DOES THE CUT KEEP SHOWING UP IN A DIFFERENT PARAGRAPH. STAY BOY STAY

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lesser-vissir · 1 year

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I'm going be real, I don't really understand at all? but I don't know how to word my confusion without sounding like an bad faith gotcha dudebro

(I'm trying my best not say, "so just get rid of masculinity in general?")

But it's probably because I'm autistic, but thank you so much for taking your time to explaining it to me! I'm privileged that you took your time to explain it, I'll take your words and probably just ask my scholars about this

If there one question I can ask, what can I do at the end of the day?

"Do we just get rid of masculinity?" is actually a great question and it doesn't make you sound like a dudebro, don't worry. The answer is yes, the end goal of feminism should be getting rid of masculinity (and by doing so also get rid of femininity which only exists in juxtaposition to masculinity). However, when I say that, I mean it in much the same way that anti-racism aims to get rid of whiteness.

The feminist framing of toxic masculinity was a good attempt at deconstructing masculinity by trying to remove the traits that are bad ie. the aggression, misogyny, ect. But it failed to address the root issues which is the idea that there are certain actions one must perform in order to be a man.

As for what you can do, if you find yourself thinking that something is masculine (or isn't masculine) question where that belief comes from and why you believe it makes someone a man. Then see if this belief has any ramifications on the way you treat the women in your life.

Also, I'm not sure which post exactly prompted the question, but I suspect it was a post saying something like "men are not oppressed under the patriarchy, toxic masculinity doesn't exist". If that sounds right, the reason I said that was because it obscures the source of gendered oppression and absolves men of their complicity in upholding that structure. No matter what small personal harms upholding masculinity causes someone, the benefits they gain from the patriarchy far outweigh that, and its annoying when dudebro MRA types claim that the patriarchy hurts them too.

In the end whether toxic masculinity exists is mostly a semantic question, I just think that sometimes its not a particularly useful way of viewing the world.

#thank you so much for asking btw #im like #honored that you think I'm worth listening to #hopefully your scholars can help #sorry I wasn't able to explain it more succinctly ;-;

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bookwyrminspiration · 9 months

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I always thought the theory about Sophie being half human was interesting because it could have an advantage for what she was designed to do. Humans don’t get their minds broken. They (usually) won’t go catatonic if guilty, but elves do. So if you’re designing a super elf to help defeat the neverseen and heal broken minds, you’re gonna want something that’s super durable when it comes to trauma, because both things are SUPER traumatic. Fighting a rebel organization is going to be traumatic, going into a broken mind and seeing the horrors in there for a longer duration of time is gonna be traumatic, it’s a lot of trauma that a purely elf mind might not be able to handle.

From a story telling perspective it also gives a lot of really good parallel between the neverseen and black swan. The neverseen have Vespera who experimented on humans in order to figure out how elves can surpass mind breaking, and the black swan is doing a similar thing, except with genetics on an innocent child. I think it could be a cool narrative for the books to take.

Yeah that's another compelling aspect of the theory! I totally agree it's a fascinating path for the story to take, I just hesitate that it'll actually go there. If I recall correctly, Forkle said both her parents know she's their daughter, and if said parent was human, that could have serious repercussions for what the Black Swan's been up to (revealing elven existence to humans)--unless he's being tricky in his wording and it's like a situation where the donor doesn't know specifics but is aware his genetic material was used.

I think the not breaking from guilt/having a stronger mind thing is the most convincing part of the theory, as it's a pretty major part of her construction. But at the same time, Sophie's friends have also been holding up really well; admittedly, Sophie has more mental exposure to The Horrors than them, but (based on my observations) either Shannon's created something she can't truly follow through on or elves are a lot more resilient than they thought.

Though the world ramifications are another point in the theory's favor--I've said before so I'll summarize: no one would know what to do with her, what it means about the similarities between humans and elves, the living proof of connection between them. It would unbelievably ostracize Sophie as the Only One--though I'm not sure the Black Swan would be willing to do that to her. They made her different, yes, but only by necessity. And being human doesn't add much more to what she got from living with them except for her emotional satisfaction, and while that's not insignificant, I don't think it's important enough they'd complicate her life further than we already know they have for so little pay-off.

Don't get me wrong! I have no problems with the theory and wouldn't complain if its turns out to be true, I just have doubts and questions.

Though it would be fascinating to know what was going through Forkle's mind when he read Vespera's notes and realized what she'd done. And that they'd also used humans to their personal advantage. Sure, different intentions and outcome, but it would be quite the reminder of how similar you can be to your enemies, the fine lines you can walk. At what point are you inseparable? Is the difference you convince yourself of actually real, does it stand up to the scrutiny or are you just protecting yourself from the truth of your actions?

I am counting down the days until Shannon tells us who Sophie's father is

#kotlc #kotlc theories #quil's queries #nonsie #at this point I don't care who it is I just want to know #i have thought about it so much #oh also. if it /is/ a human we're very limited in the number of humans who would have a big impact on her #which. with all this time we've waited I do think we're going for something like that #but what do i know!#long post

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sophieinwonderland · 1 year

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please go die your a pathetic little bitch

I'm just giving a reminder that the people behind the screen are real people with real lives. We don't suffer from depression, but many many in the tulpa and plural community do.

Based on the writing, I'm going to hazard a guess and say that you're likely a literal child. Maybe someone who doesn't understand the potential ramifications of your actions.

But let me be clear here. Words matter and they can have consequences. And if you send messages like this and somebody acts on it... that's on you. It's your responsibility. Your actions caused another human being to take their life. You killed somebody. And that's something that you have to live with.

Do better. Be better.

#syscourse #suicide mention #tw suibaiting #suibait mention #suibait cw #tw suicide mention #suibait

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callsign-bunnie · 1 year

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Chapter 2 (A magic users AU)

Rodolfo is left to deal with the ramifications of not being listened to. It worked out in the end, but not for him. However, he discovers a new ability given to him by the predicament.

Soap sighed, watching Alejandro pace. Rodolfo was with healers in the infirmary. They’d already started to get the base back to full function, even though a lot of it was just blown up. “Will the higher ups say anything?”

“No, they’ll have us send an invoice for repairs and then continue to ignore us. As long as whatever we do is contained to Las Almas, they don’t care.” Alejandro said, finally slamming down into a chair.

“What about Valeria?” Soap frowned.

“She assaulted a military officer. Keeping her detained will be no issue.” Alejandro waved his hand.

Soap nodded and then finally sat as well. “Will Rodolfo be okay?”

Alejandro tensed. “He’ll live. Okay is… subjective. He’s fully healed, just… scarred. No one but Valeria can remove the sigil.” He was calm but Soap knew enough about him to know he was five seconds away from snapping.

Soap nodded a little. “I see.” He didn’t know much about sigils beyond what the basic ones do. “Will you be okay?”

“I am…” Alejandro clenched his hands into fists, his tattoos starting to glow. But then he just sighed and his shoulders dropped. “Angry. Rodolfo was right. I didn’t listen. I was grasping for straws.”

“It worked. Graves was detained. Valeria has been arrested again.” Soap offered, trying to reassure Alejandro.

“At the expense of my pair. I’ll be lucky if he ever forgives me.” Alejandro shook his head. “The only time he questions me. And he still ends up right. He’s been right about everything for most of my life.”

Soap frowned. He thought of Rodolfo. Rodolfo wasn’t talkative unless you asked a question he wanted to answer. During Valeria’s interrogation, he’d sat silently and listened. The most he had done was mute Alejandro so he wouldn’t kill Valeria.

Even when breaking Alejandro out, Rodolfo had been nothing but calculated. Even still, he doubted Rodolfo was always right. But… this was the worst time for him to be right. “You two are damn near opposites.” Soap offered, now trying to distract him.

Alejandro laughed, softly. “Completely. The Vaqueros call him my impulse control.” He shrugged. “I can think of so many times I almost burnt out and he stopped it. He can’t afford to be reckless with his own life, you know? But I… I can be with mine.” He leaned back in his seat.

Soap frowned. “No one should be reckless with their life. But… if you die, it won’t kill Rodolfo?”

Alejandro shook his head. “No. My… power has no real grasp on his own. I can force him to magnify me if I really wanted to, but it’s violating. I would never do that.”

Soap could imagine having your power triggered without wanting it to be fairly violating. “Do you mind telling me more about the bonding process? Rodolfo kind of talked about it but he’s a little cagey.”

“Don’t take it personal, he’s just like that.” Alejandro nodded. “And, sure. I am still surprised that it hasn't caught on over there. Bonding is different for every pair. Really, it’s just our energies grabbing onto each other and intertwining. We have to want to. Hence the need for an emotional connection. You need to go through an intimate action together. Some have sex, some do it on accident when one is dying and the other saves them, it’s just something intimate.” Alejandro shrugged.

“What did you two do?” Soap frowned, unsure what would really be intimate enough between two friends.

Alejandro winced. “Look, before I say this, you need to understand, Rodolfo and I are…” He looked to be grappling for words. “It was my idea.”

Soap raised an eyebrow, now concerned. He could only imagine what would be so bad it had Alejandro feeling the need to justify himself, first.

Alejandro sighed, looking away. “We had sex.”

Soap blinked and then started to laugh. “Oh, that’s it?? I was worried you stabbed him or something. Just sex??”

Alejandro seemed embarrassed. “Well, it was the easiest option, in my mind.”

Soap suddenly stopped laughing, remembering Rodolfo had also had to bond with Valeria. “Rodolfo has fucked Valeria?!” He exclaimed.

Alejandro winced. “That is something I try not to think about too hard. From what I’ve heard… against my will from Valeria… Valeria fucked him.”

Soap stared at Alejandro for a moment. Oh, that was going to take a while to get out of his mind. “I know too many things about Rodolfo, now.” He groaned. He wanted to continue to learn about bonding, though. “Rodolfo mentioned that… the first month was hell for you guys. That they tested your bond at every opportunity.”

“Yes, it’s necessary to make sure it won’t break. The first month is the safest because if it does snap, we both could make it out okay.” Alejandro nodded. He seemed to grow a little distant. “Hell is an understatement. We fought a lot. Rodolfo had to be tortured so I could adjust to the feeling.”

“The feeling?” Soap frowned.

Alejandro nodded. “I can feel it. When Valeria was burning his neck, you noticed I knew immediately. I could feel it on my own neck. When Graves stabbed him, I felt that too. It’s not painful, but it’s uncomfortable.”

Soap had been surprised how Alejandro seemed to just know Rodolfo was in trouble. “How uncomfortable?”

“Deeply. I’m able to ignore it, now, but in the beginning, I struggled to contain my own power. It’s… like something is pressing. I want it to stop.” Alejandro sighed. “To be bonded is to suffer together.”

Soap frowned. “How… romantic?” He tried. “Explains why most of the pairs I’ve seen are straight.”

Alejandro shrugged and went quiet. “Romantic doesn’t begin to cover it.”

Soap hadn’t quite expected Alejandro to admit that. He smiled. “Rodolfo makes it sound like you are just friends.”

“I don’t think we could ever truly be just friends.” Alejandro shrugged.

“So you two are… a thing?” Soap raised an eyebrow.

“It’s complicated.” Alejandro sighed. “Our bond messes with more than our connection. It messes with our emotions, our feelings. I worry that if I tried to pursue that, how would I know it’s consensual? I know my pair, he.. Would give up his entire being for me. How could I know he is not giving up his body just because I ask?”

Soap frowned. He didn’t know much about relationships, to be honest. But… that sounded like Rodolfo loved Alejandro. “I don’t know much about relationships or pairs or bonds or anything. But, Rodolfo told us that Elementals choose their Prisms. But Prisms can say no. He made it sound like there was never any thought in his mind but saying yes. You suggested sex to bond, and he said yes?”

Alejandro considered. “He seemed reluctant. But ultimately agreed it was the simplest option. I don’t think either of us could have chosen the other options.”

“And he would give his whole being for you?” Soap asked.

“Yes. I wish he didn’t feel that way. But yes.”

“Would you give yours for him?” Soap raised an eyebrow.

Alejandro frowned. “Undoubtedly.”

Soap smiled. “I’ve never seen anyone talk about anything the way Rodolfo talks about you. He speaks about you as if you’re the sun.”

Alejandro frowned more and seemed to consider it. “I don’t know.”

Soap shrugged. “Like I said. I don’t know much about those things. But… it kind of sounds like you’d die for Rodolfo. That would be the ultimate sacrifice. But… It sounds like Rodolfo lives for you.”

Rodolfo blinked as he woke up, his eyes having to adjust to the intense light glaring down at him. There was still a dull burn on his neck, but it was able to be ignored. He could still feel that chain, binding him to Valeria. He hated it. It felt disgusting.

He remembered when he was first bound to Alejandro. It was hard, he’d admit. He wasn’t in love with Alejandro, yet, but there was definitely something there. But… constantly feeling attached to him, knowing Alejandro had some kind of power over him, even if Rodolfo had an equal amount back, had been stifling.

This was worse. If Valeria ever got out, she had so much power over him. It felt like a collar on his neck, choking him. He lifted his shirt, touching the raised skin where she’d carved the sigil into his skin. He felt her symbol. He remembered her making it in training. They all had sigils. It represented something but was easy to recreate. Carved into your own skin by your own hand.

You could bond without them, but some chose to deepen their bond with the sigils. Rodolfo had never been able to stomach the idea. It had made him feel suffocated.

He sat up, swinging his legs over the side of the bed, glad to see they’d left his clothes alone. “H… Hello.” He relaxed. Good, she hadn’t fucked up his vocal chords. He stood, stumbling on his feet a little at first, but it seemed the incident had left him no more than violated and scarred.

He knew everyone would be in the meeting room, likely discussing their next steps, so he headed that direction. Sure enough, he could feel Alejandro’s energy as he neared and then could feel everyone else’s when he was right outside the door.

Taking a deep breath, he stepped in.

“Hassan is in Chicago, Valeria confirmed. We only know because she assumed that would send all of us in that direction.” Price was speaking. He stopped when he saw Rodolfo had entered. They were all standing around the meeting table, documents and plans laid out.

Alejandro immediately turned to face him. “You’re awake.”

“Wish I wasn’t.” Rodolfo said, his voice bitter.

Alejandro winced. Everyone kind of glanced between them. It was awkward, Rodolfo knew, but he didn’t care. He went to the table, standing between Soap and Ghost.

Price seemed to hesitate before continuing. “But, with the damage done here, we cannot all fly off in the direction of Chicago. So, we send a group to Chicago to deal with Hassan and uncover the third bomb.”

Alejandro, who had stared at Rodolfo the entire time, nodded. His eyes were clearly on Rodolfo’s neck, and Rodolfo had noticed Gaz and Ghost glance at it a few times as well. “My men will be needed here.” Alejandro stated.

Price nodded. “Hassan is not your problem, Vargas, it is ours.”

“I’ll go.” Ghost spoke up. “I’ll take one person with me. But… two people are not going to cut it.”

Soap seemed to grin. “Well, we know who the obvious pick of the group is.”

“As much as I want to say no to knock that grin off your face, you are the pick. Gaz, you’re better here with Price, doing damage control.” Ghost sighed. Gaz nodded in understanding.

“Who will the third person be?” Price asked, but the way he said it implied he knew.

“I know a man. Ex-military. He’s a mercenary, now. He’s a Summoner with a specialty in insects, and a secondary Spirit ability.” Ghost nodded. “He owes me a favor.”

Rodolfo frowned. He hadn’t met many summoners. Technically, Elementals could be considered Summoners, since they summoned their elements but… it was different. They more summoned… alive things. Plants, animals, the dead… Most that he had heard of were either plants, mammals, or the dead. He’d never heard of someone with an insect speciality.

“What’s his name?” Soap asked.

“It’s tongue in cheek but Roach.” Ghost shrugged. “I will call him.”

Price nodded and smiled. “Good. Then, it’s settled. Ghost and Soap will meet with Roach in Chicago. They will take down Hassan and then travel back. We will decide the next step once Hassan has been taken down.”

Ghost and Soap left the table, Soap clearly looking like as soon as they were alone, he was going to ask a million questions.

Price nodded and turned back to Alejandro. “I know you lost many men. So has the cartel. But… I know someone. She has experience in these things. She will come to help. And… there is another. Where she goes, he will.” Rodolfo definitely picked up on the way Gaz seemed to perk up. He knew these people.

Alejandro considered. “If you think she can help, then call her.” He looked exhausted. “Anything to clear this problem, faster. Shepherd burned us, too. As long as Mexico continues to ignore Las Almas, we will help you bring down Shepherd.”

“Thank you.” Price nodded. “I will call her.” He gestured and Gaz followed him away.

Rodolfo avoided Alejandro’s eyes and turned to leave as well. Alejandro immediately rounded the table. “Don’t… Don’t do that.” Alejandro stopped him. “Please, Rudy.”

Rodolfo stayed half facing away from him. “I said… she couldn’t be trusted. I told you. All of you.”

“I’m sorry. I… relied on her still caring about you as a friend enough to not do this.” Alejandro sounded so desperate that Rodolfo almost forgave him. Rodolfo flinched away when Alejandro touched his neck, tears filling his eyes.

Rodolfo didn’t stop Alejandro as he pulled him to his chest, holding him. This was rare but not unheard of. Alejandro tried to be careful with his touch, but he always knew when it was needed. “I’m not gonna let this happen again.”

“I have to go around with this on my neck, forever. She has me on a leash, Alejandro.” Rodolfo took deep breaths, trying not to cry. “She won’t remove it.”

“She will. We’ll make her remove it.” Alejandro nodded. “If I have to skin her alive, she will remove it.”

Rodolfo shook his head, unsurprised Alejandro’s mind went straight to the most gruesome idea. He pulled away. “Even if you manage to make her remove her sigil, my neck…”

Alejandro gently tilted Rodolfo’s head up, inspecting the skin. “It’ll fade.”

“Never completely.” Rodolfo mumbled. He didn’t want to even see it. But he could feel it. He reached up, feeling over the rough skin. “The one on my cheek hasn’t.”

Alejandro’s eyes moved to that and Rodolfo could see the guilt there. He watched Alejandro’s hand retreat and grabbed it again, not wanting him to pull away. “Please don’t.”

Alejandro hesitated before nodding, though he was tense. Rodolfo relaxed. He hesitated. “If you had been the one to make the scar, it would not feel so awful.” He admitted. “I have forgiven you for the other one. I wish… you would forgive yourself.”

“I hurt you because I was careless. Worse because I was angry.” Alejandro shook his head. “I should never have lashed out at you.”

Rodolfo was quiet for a moment. He didn’t like the guilt Alejandro felt. “I forgive you. For Valeria.”

Alejandro frowned. “You shouldn’t. I should have listened to you.”

“You didn’t. It’s too late for should haves…” Rodolfo mumbled, the anger melting out of him. “What are we doing now?”

“We are rebuilding what we can of Las Almas.” Alejandro nodded. “Once Hassan is down, we will be helping the 141 take down Shepherd.”

Rodolfo nodded a little. “We will need to interrogate Graves.”

“Done.” Alejandro nodded. “He… didn’t know anything.”

Rodolfo frowned. “How??”

“Shepherd must have been real close with his information. Need to know, only. We already know everything Graves needed to know.” Alejandro shrugged. “You should rest.”

“There’s things that need to be done.” Rodolfo shook his head.

“They can wait a few hours while you rest.” Alejandro shook his head.

Rodolfo hesitated before nodding. “Fine.” He was exhausted, anyway.

Rodolfo held onto a glass orb, resting like Alejandro said. These things were created for prisms. They had a small amount of energy from a caster, which Rodolfo could use to practice magnifying and muting. Admittedly, with where his skill level was, he didn’t need it anymore. But, it was nice to idle with.

It’d been given to him by the military, as a part of their training experience. Part of their final stuff was expanding the energy in a giant one the size of a car. No, probably closer to twice that size. Rodolfo had nearly passed out from the effort as they were supposed to expand it beyond the orb.

They’d used Alejandro’s energy for Rodolfo’s orb. So he’d have a tighter bond with him, supposedly. Rodolfo wasn’t sure it actually did anything, but he was willing to pretend.

Watching the flame dance around in the orb, he carefully expanded it. He didn’t want to set the orb on fire and burn himself, so he kept it small. While he focused on it, he thought over everything. He was still upset that no one listened to him.

Yeah, sure, it was all fine, now. It’d all so conveniently worked out. Valeria was contained, Graves was arrested, and they were all on the right track to get everything worked out. But… No one else had a chain around them, binding them to someone who very clearly wanted him dead.

No one else had been scarred and violated. Just him. He was the one who didn’t want any of this to happen and he was the one who suffered the worst. Everyone else was completely unscathed. How unfair. How fucking utterly unfair.

Rodolfo really tried not to be bitter. He really did but… look at him! He would never be the same! He had known something horrible would happen and look where it’d gotten him! And… now he knew that Alejandro would not listen when he had concerns. It was one time, but it’d been the most important time.

Rodolfo stared at the orb, watching the flame dance again. He flinched at a knock on the door and stood, carefully crossing to it. Gaz was standing there, which surprised Rodolfo. “Hey, um-” Gaz seemed awkward. “Some things aren’t adding up. I… want to question Graves myself. Without any of the officials there. He doesn’t seem to respect either of us, so I think he may be more casual.”

Rodolfo frowned. He considered over it. If he played up being scared and vulnerable, Graves likely would not see him as a threat. “Play up that Alejandro didn’t listen to me, and it got me hurt.”

Gaz seemed shocked. “Oh. I didn’t expect you to agree so fast. Hell yeah!” He grinned and then shrugged. “I can do that. Price and Alejandro are out at the moment. They’re scouting Las Almas, looking over the damage. Ghost and Soap are talking to that mercenary on the phone, so… We shouldn’t be interrupted.”

“Good.” Rodolfo nodded a bit and then followed Gaz down to the holding cells where Valeria and Graves were both being held.

“For the record, I… I’m sorry that happened to you. I should have been more on guard.” Gaz said, when they got to the entrance.

Rodolfo shrugged, not angry at Gaz. “It was a tough situation. Valeria seemed to take a liking to you, I can understand that you let your guard down. I… did as well. You are not at fault here.”

“Alejandro is really tearing himself up.” Gaz hesitated, clearly nervous about saying this. “He won’t show you and… Only really Soap has gotten to see it but he’s so upset. I don’t know him that well, I really don’t. But… He’s very obviously… distraught at what happened.”

Rodolfo had to take a moment to understand what distraught meant. He hadn’t actually heard that word too many times, but he remembered. Deeply upset. He looked over Gaz, tilting his head. Gaz was clearly reluctant to say this. He imagined the poor kid probably wanted to defend Alejandro. Even if he didn’t know him.

Rodolfo took a breath. “Don’t… worry. I’m upset but… I will move on.”

Gaz relaxed. “I will help you get that sigil removed, I promise. Even if I have to skin Valeria to get her to do it.”

Rodolfo was surprised by that statement. Gaz seemed so… tame. He was shocked the kid could manage that sort of animosity. He smiled. “I like you. Let’s do this.”

Gaz nodded and relaxed, smiling and they both finally went to the holding cells. They straight up ignored Valeria. She didn’t seem to notice them come in, anyway. Rodolfo knew she had to have. She would have been able to feel Rodolfo approach. But, she ignored them back, at least.

Gaz got out keys and Rodolfo blinked. “How-”

“Alejandro is easy to pickpocket.” Gaz shrugged and glanced at Rodolfo for a moment before turning back to the cell and unlocking the door. Rodolfo was impressed.

“Don’t do that again but… Good job.” Rodolfo followed him in, making sure the cell shut behind him.

The holding cells were rather large. They had to be. Most of the people they held were very good at getting themselves out of trouble. The first thing they claimed were inhumane holding conditions. So… the holding cells were pretty nice.

Rodolfo hung back at the door, doing his best to shrink his form and avoid Graves’ eyes. He let Gaz take the lead on questioning, needing to really sell this damaged idea. Was he actually damaged? Yeah, probably. But he was bitter, not afraid. He needed to be afraid.

Gaz gave him a knowing glance before turning back to Graves. “They sent us to question you again.”

Graves was in a fairly untouched state, the burn on his face already mostly healed and fading. He laughed softly. “Oh?”

Rodolfo watched Gaz seem to shrink back a bit. “Yes.” He sounded so unsure. He was… entirely convincing. If they hadn’t pre-planned this (albeit for maybe five seconds) he would have been completely convinced.

Gaz pulled up a chair and sat in it. He didn’t make common mistakes, like trying to fake a stumble. He just… moved a chair. Sat. Small, simple movements. “What was your mission?”

“No.” Graves sighed, leaning his head back. “I’ve given all of the information I have.”

“They think you weren’t being truthful.” Gaz frowned. He’d grabbed an interrogation clipboard at some point.

“I was.” Graves shrugged. He was lying. He wasn’t even trying to cover it. “I have given you everything I know.”

Was he this obvious with Alejandro and Ghost? No, Rodolfo didn’t believe they’d be so stupid to believe him just like that. Ghost was incredibly intelligent, he’d seen that first hand. And Alejandro… he knew him better than that. “Give up. We can’t do this, I don’t know why they sent us down here.” He looked away when Graves looked at him.

Graves cut Gaz off before he could speak. “I heard what happened with the Drug lord. I heard about it through some of your Vaqueros.”

Rodolfo tried not to cringe at how he said Vaquero. Rather, he cringed at the whole of his sentence. “Garrick.”

“Hang on, I want to try.” Gaz shook his head. He sat up a little, going over his clipboard. “When did Shepherd approach you?”

Graves ignored him and Rodolfo watched Gaz’s face fall. “One of them said you tried to warn everyone what would happen. They didn’t listen to you.”

Rodolfo stared at the ground. “You’re right.” He muttered. He knew Graves was just trying to get to him, so it was easy not to give in. Hell, he didn’t even have to try. “Garrick, can we please go? I don’t want to be down here much longer. I-”

“Doesn’t it just… boil your blood? You’re second in command, but no one respects you as if you were. You might as well be the dirt on the floor for all that everyone walks all over you.”

A flash of rage turns into a flinch. Rodolfo couldn’t afford to be angry in this moment, he needed to be… scared. Violated. He needed to be small. “Shut up.” It was half hearted.

Gaz cringed. “Yeah, let’s go. We’ll just… tell Price it didn’t work. I don’t know why they sent us…” He said the last part quietly, like he was attempting not to let Graves hear. Rodolfo had to admit, he really liked this kid. He was brilliant.

Gaz went over to Rodolfo and both turned to leave. Rodolfo hoped Graves would stop them. He’d had two toys thrown into his enclosure, surely he wanted to keep playing with them…?

Graves did stop them. “Alright, I’ll throw the little guys a bone.” Rodolfo suppressed a laugh at the victory on Gaz’s face. They’d been given an inch, it was time to go a mile.

Gaz turned back to Graves and seemed to hesitate before going back to the chair. “What was your mission?”

Graves considered. “Burn your asses, obviously.” They already knew that. Rodolfo took a moment before taking a few steps forward.

“You like to make jokes.” Rodolfo hesitated. “Garrick, what do they call those in English?”

“Puns.” Gaz nodded. “I think.”

Rodolfo wasn’t sure he liked that word, but he rolled with it. “You make many of those… Puns.” No, he didn’t like that word at all.

“I will admit to liking wordplay.” Graves nodded and chuckled.

Gaz hesitated. “I’m curious… why the Shadow Company? You’re a Persuader.”

Graves considered and then shrugged. “I won’t be able to show the other but… I can show you.” He took a breath and then Gaz was immediately jumping back, the chair hitting the ground behind him.

Rodolfo straightened up, surprised. “What are you doing?”

“I can’t fucking see-” Gaz touched at his face, eyes wide.

“That’s why.” Graves laughed. “Huh, I didn’t think I’d be able to do that in here. Wonder what else I can do-”

“Enough!” Rodolfo dropped the facade. He wasn’t going to let Graves hurt Garrick just so they could get information.

“No.” Graves laughed. He furrowed his brows and Gaz started to scream, clawing at his face. He left scratches, deep ones. There wasn’t even any build up. Rodolfo stared in horror as blood dripped down Gaz’s face.

He wanted this to stop. It was a flash. He felt warmth in his hand and then a ball of flame was soaring past Graves’ head. Gaz fell to the floor and backed up, going behind Rodolfo.

Graves laughed. “When did you pick up that little ability?”

Rodolfo looked at his hand. He’d love to know as well. “Fuck this.” He murmured, getting the door open and shoving Gaz out it. “We need to talk to Valeria.”

#Alejandro Vargas #Rodolfo Parra #Alejandro x Rodolfo #Aledolfo #Call Of Duty: Modern Warfare II #Call Of Duty #John Price #Kyle Gaz Garrick #Gaz COD #Price COD #A father and his son #Call of Duty Modern Warfare II #Johnny Soap Mactavish #Call Of Duty Modern Warfare 2 #Simon Ghost Riley #Soap Cod #Ghost COD

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everyonewasabird · 1 year

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Brickclub 5.5.6 “Each in his own way, the two old men do everything so that Cosette may be happy”

Do they. DO THEY???

I mean, “in their own way” I guess, if you say that Valjean’s way is literally erasing himself out of Cosette’s family and Gillenormand’s way is trapping her in his awful world by overwhelming her with unbelievably expensive gifts.

Does Hugo know? I really, really, really can’t tell. Everything in this chapter is so BAD, does he know it’s bad?? The bad keeps piling up!!

Valjean is being very clever with his mayor’s toolkit, building up a respectable background for Cosette so that Gillenormand and/or Marius won’t refuse the wedding--because he knows they might if they found out who Cosette really is. I like that little nod to the status of misérables, especially since we don’t see any others except maybe through the extreme contrast, since these chapters are very, very far away from the milieu of the rest of the book.

But Valjean isn’t thinking about Cosette’s feelings and what it must be like for her to have this ambiguous, highly questionable story suddenly appear around her, and for her father to suddenly not be her father anymore. He thinks he doesn’t matter, and his actions on the basis of that assumption are incredibly cruel. “I’m not your real father, but I’ve always loved you as if I was” is NOT an impossible thing to say! Might’ve helped!!

But all this would be great characterization and a fascinating arc if Hugo acknowledged it was happening! Horribly, I’m never sure he’s that much more aware of Cosette as a person than Valjean is.

Cosette learned that she was not the daughter of that old man whom she had so long called father. He was only a relative; another Fauchelevent was her real father. At any other time, this would have broken her heart. But at this ineffable hour, it was only a little shadow, a darkening, and she was so joyful that this cloud was quick to disappear. She had Marius. The young man came, the good old man faded away; such is life.

wtf wtf that’s not how anything works.

It’s so strange the ways the ending of the book seems to both take Valjean’s view and also doesn’t: the book surely knows that Valjean doesn’t deserve to waste away in isolation, and it surely knows Cosette loves him. But it does also keep trying to confirm Valjean’s frankly fucking abysmal view of her, that she doesn’t have enough attention span to remember the existence of more than one male family member.

What the absolute fuck.

And, like. Hugo sucks, but Cosette’s characterization doesn’t. It makes perfect sense here that Valjean’s shifting status is less momentous to her: everything is happening so fast, and is so entirely directed by the old men, that she barely knows which way is up, and she’s barreling towards a wedding that’s two months away. It makes sense that being inundated with wealth and fashion is a weakness of hers, and that she’s learned not to ask questions when things feel weird.

And yeah, relationships to parents do change when you build your own life, move out, maybe partner with somebody, and also, that doesn’t have to be LITERAL DEATH. But there may be a problem here where Valjean’s issues are way too close to Hugo’s own, and so the narrator is shifting confusedly between “Valjean’s view is wrong” and “No he is literally right about daughters marrying” without being able to find a stable place to stand.

I hate it so much.

I do appreciate the follow-up paragraph:

And then, for many long years Cosette had been used to seeing enigmas around her; everybody who has had a mysterious childhood is always ready for certain renunciations.

She continued, however, to say "father" to Jean Valjean.

Yes, please, let’s have more of Cosette living with the ramifications of her past, drawing conclusions based on it, and sticking to her guns. Still wish Valjean had taken her aside and bothered to have ANY kind of conversation with her before he dropped the bomb of her new legal ID on her.

Valjean is being self-effacing and practical, and meanwhile Gillenormand is aggressively winning Cosette over with absurdly expensive cloth and the promise of fashion at a level she’s never been able to achieve before. Again, if this is meant to be part of an arc where we eventually reckon with the falseness of what’s currently seducing her, it's fantastic. Is that supposed to be what’s happening???? Unclear! We definitely definitely never get that reckoning, because Cosette’s internality somehow isn’t something this book cares about!

Marius, eerily like his grandfather, has changed who he has his opinions about but not the nature of those opinions. He says:

"The men of the Revolution are so great that they already have the prestige of centuries, like Cato and like Phocion, and each of them seems a memoire antique [antique memory].”

The men of the revolution (and, I imagine by proxy, his friends) have entered his mental category of the Dead Who Need Worshiping. He’s never altered his assumption that the dead need worshiping, or that the past is better and more worth looking at than the future. He’s still stuck in the death-like paradigm of the convent.

Again, if this is a gothic horror about how Cosette is trapped in this world, we’re doing absolutely fantastically.

Speaking of which, in the middle of a long, long speech about how much more fun everything is when you have excessive wealth and an ancien régime noble title (Hugo must know! He MUST. Mustn’t he??), Gillenormand says:

Who loves well lashes well.

Girl, RUN. Just fucking run from this fucking household, we’ve seen several times over that Marius is way, way, way too much like his grandfather already. Don’t tie a knot you can’t untie, RUN NOW.

And it really is disturbing how much of this show Gillenormand is running. His idea of a wedding is exactly what they’re going to have for their wedding--and his idea of being a husband afterwards is very, very terrible. Is that going to follow, once Cosette is drawn into the trap? Maybe it’s just his flaws on display and not Marius’s.. but these kids are not managing to do much to escape the world he’s setting up for them, and Marius has behaved like his grandfather under pressure in he past, and Valjean’s efforts to efface himself and vanish into thin air are Not Helping.

Meanwhile Mlle Gillenormand is floating around the house as a barely-living shadow, disregarded and petty, like a sign of what living in this house under a man like Gillenormand will turn you into.

WHY isn’t all this the prelude to Cosette finding herself in some kind of Lotus Eaters story, or some kind of Bluebeard story? Everything is setting her up to wake up a little ways into marriage and realize “Oh God what did I get trapped in??” and yet the story never ever gives her that moment, and as far as I can remember seems to actively discard the possibility of it.

WHY.

#brickclub #lm 5.5.6

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jaskierx · 10 months

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from one anon to another: what the fuck anon? where do you get off by calling someone names and being rude about medical conditions? it’s just a silly little show about gay pirates, it’s not that deep. everyone interprets things differently so just stay in your lane. but also, what do you think the words ‘[you] better watch [your] fucking step’ mean if you don’t think they’re a death threat???

and i am an izzy enjoyer. i laugh at him a lot because he’s pathetic but he fascinates me and i think about him regularly lol. and i also think his actions in the last episode are not condonable. they make for good television and i can’t wait for the ramifications in series two but they are not condonable

jaskierx i luv your blog never change sweety becaus you are very cool and very sexy

anon i’m giving you a lil kiss on the forehead. congrats on the good vibes and media literacy 💛

fr like i’m not saying nobody should like izzy or that everyone who enjoys izzy is just as bad as he is or anything! it’s perfectly possible to like izzy without being so fragile that you get offended when someone points out that he’s the show’s antagonist, or that when he threatened ed’s life it was indeed a death threat, or that when he used homophobic language it was indeed homophobia

i enjoy izzy as a character too but the izzy i enjoy is canon izzy as opposed to this fanon version that people seem to have created who is a tortured little soul who’s the real victim of the show

#asks #anon #izzy critical

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daddysfangirls-marvel · 10 months

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Scars (5)

Chapter 5: I got a questions

Warning: none

The next few days were great, although Alice didn't really talk. And this might sound mean, but there were moments when the team forgot she was in the room and had to catch themselves when their conversations were heading into an adult subject. She was so quiet most of the time they didn't even know she was in the room until they spotted her in a corner which always scared the crap out of everyone, Natasha joked, saying she would make a great spy, and Clint joked they should put a bell on her, Tony didn't like that and said " the minute you put a bell on my daughter will be your last," except Rhodey and Tony they always knew she was in the room. As creepy as her sudden appearance was, the team understood her human interaction had been very limited throughout her life, and she had been isolated for a long time, with her only contact being her father (or, under special circumstances, Rhodey). When she spoke, it was a single quiet word, usually 'yes' or 'no.' Even without words and at a distance, she was very sweet.

While everyone had taken pity a liking to the girl, there was also a lot of curiosity and mostly concern. But no one really questions Tony on anything to do with her, especially not with her around, but still, everyone wants answers.

Natasha looked around and saw that Alice was the only one not in the room. She didn't want to make the girl uncomfortable, so she decided now was a good time to ask.

" So, Tony"

"Natasha?" her smile was scaring him

"I've got some questions"

"oh dear," Clint whispered as he moved to the other couch

"Why did you hide Alice? Why did you hide your daughter?"

"Why is it any of your business? Why do you care?" Tony asks, eyeing her suspiciously " You know what -no. It doesn't fucking matter. Keep this bullshit away from my daughter. Keep your spy shit to yourself" With that, Tony takes his drink and walks out of the room.

"so much for family game night," Sam said. "Why are you always questioning about his daughter"

"Because she's hurt, because she's traumatized, she's mentally unwell. I just met her and can already see that she's not right. No one in the world knew this girl existed until now. She was hidden away from everyone and everything. Alone. Isolated. And it has very clearly had an effect on her... Why would he do this to her? Why would he put his daughter through this? I want to know his reason. And I hope it's good." Natasha said, getting up. She left to begin her research.

"And you think he's going to give you one?" Bucky said, "You said it yourself. He put her away, isolated, left her alone, and made her disappear. He fucked her over for 17 years. And he has yet to see the ramifications of his action despite them right being in front of him. I can tell you right now whatever reason he has. While he might think it is good enough, it's not."

"I think you should leave it. He's not going to give any real answers. We should just try and give her a safe space for now." Steve said. He and Bucky stood up and walked out.

"What happens to having a normal family game night," Clint said, throwing his cards down.

"One, this isn't a normal family, so don't expect normal, and two, we're playing UNO. Some shit was about to go down, " Sam said, throwing down a draw 4 " Like that"

It was around 3 am, and everyone else was asleep While Natasha snooped around. She trusted Tony to a limit, and the fact that he had a 17-year-old daughter that popped up one day with no explanation was helping wasn't helping him gain her trust. She wanted an explanation and her where was the best place to go when you have questions that needed answers other than Tony's private office. She had never had a real reason to go through Tony's private office before today she had never ever been inside the keyword 'private.'

After going to Tony's Lab and silencing J.A.R.V.I.S., Natasha when to his Private office and hacked the keypad to two different doors walking in, she finally understood why his office was so damn private. There were pictures of his daughter all over the place and many diplomas and rewards on display. Taking a seat at Tony's desk Natasha didn't even look at the computer. Knowing Tony, she knew she couldn't even a tempted to hang his computer without him knowing, she went straight for the drawers picked those locks, and looking through the files. She found the blueprints to the house which Alice had been living in where the house was and her school files. There was nothing useful in the drawers. Natasha began to look around the room for anything to give her a clue. Finding nothing, Natasha decided this wasn't the place to look after all and puts the files away. While putting the files, Natasha found a button in one of the drawers pressing it the left wall lifted up "Bingo," Natasha said as she got in the room.

Looking around, she realized it was a monitor room there were TV and computer screens showing a different room that definitely wasn't in the tower. "That's the compound, where she lived" Natasha didn't turn around she already knew it was Tony " I never actually left her. I always watched her, always knew what she was doing, making sure she was safe. I've probably taken overprotective dad to a new level" he chuckled bitterly.

"safe from what? From what I've learned, she was in the middle of nowhere and had more security than the president and tower combined. What were you keeping her safe from?"

" The whole world

She's my little girl after her mother I knew I needed to keep her safe, but I didn't want to leave her alone. Then she started developing her abilities. She's different. Too different. I didn't want anyone to find out, anyone to hurt her. I sent her away where no one could hurt her, no one could find her. I put up cameras to watch her and ensure she was always okay, even without me there." Tony says as he takes a seat in front of one of the monitors away from Natasha

"One time, she cut herself in the kitchen. I was in LA, I never flew so fast in my life I was so scared, but it was just a small cut. In my head, she had cut off her fingers and was bleeding out on the kitchen floor. I got there, and she was on the couch, and she was watching The Lion King with a band-aid in her hand. I had left two minutes before I was supposed to receive a reward, and I didn't pick up that reward I ended up staying with my daughter and watching The Lion King. And I was okay with that because it was my baby girl who wanted to watch tv with me, how could I say no? " He rambles on about small memories with his daughter.

Tony remembers that day very well. As soon as he arrived, he rushed into the Kitchen, panicking to find out she wasn't there. Running around the whole house, not finding her, Tony nearly had a heart attack. He finally found her in the living room on the couch watching the Lion King "Daddy?" and with that, he busted into tears, ran over to the couch, and hugged the life out of her. After that, he didn't even return to work he stayed there to watch a movie with her and tucked her into bed before going to his room. He almost had a heart attack that day.

"I've never seen you like this. You really care about her"

Tony gets up "It's called being a parent Ms. Romanoff," Tony said a guided her out of the monitor room " When you can finally claim a child of your own, you'll understand" He guided her out his office, and they walked the halls

"I can't have children"

" The child doesn't have to be yours for you to fill the connection, for that little parent mechanism to kick in" They arrived in the kitchen Tony got two water bottles, two forks, and a slice of apple pie.

"I'm a godmother," Natasha said, taking a bite of pie

" Sorry to say that's not the same thing. It's not the same as claiming one as your own. Godmother, you are only needed in the worst situations. They aren't yours until something bad happens. I'm telling you, saying 'my kid did that' and' my baby' to the world is so satisfying... or at least I think it is I've only ever said that to Rhodey. Hiding her and all. Might be different for others. Point is saying those words to anyone, in general, will make you feel so proud, so wonderful." Natasha laughed at this, "And imagine when they get hurt, it'll scare you to death, you'll lose control"

"I don't know about all that "

"yes, just ask Clint your heart will stop, your world will end, and you'll feel the pain you never felt before because you love them," Tony said, finishing the pie,

" here I thought your heart was two sizes too small," Natasha teased

"When you're ready and want to talk, kids let me know I can set something up for you, " Tony offered, putting the dishes in the sink.

"is that why you won't tell me?" even though this whole conversation, and the pie, were lovely, this was not Natasha's goal tonight. Her goal was to find out why Alice was hidden for all these years. It was 4 am, and she still didn't have the answers she set out for. Though she did learn something new, this was not what she wanted.

"I'm going to keep my baby girl safe from everyone, including you. There is going to be a day when you find out I hope it's for a good reason, and I hope that day isn't soon. "

"you seem different when you talk about her"

"That happens when you become a parent. Now little Romanoff, it's way passes your bedtime, let's go" Natasha laughed at this but never the less let Tony lead her to bed, she had let Tony lead her a lot tonight. Arriving at her room, Tony, playing parent, did not leave nor close her door until he was sure she was in bed. Once he was gone, Natasha had a good laugh on her pillow before falling asleep.

"What abilities?"

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