#absolutely no one cares but i need to scream
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🧺 Any More 🧺
Pairing: Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader
For the CM Kink Bingo Challenge 2024
Requested: spencer realizing that he’ll never love someone as much as he loves you. (whether that be because of a case or what have you), his mind is absolutely blown with how much he worships you and how much you love and care for him and he shows you that with the softest most sickeningly sweet sex you and him has ever done. <3
Warnings: 18+ MINORS DNI! Discussions of case details, case burnout, very close friends to lovers, oral (f receiving), vanilla sex (p in v penetration). Discussions of mental health, and two idiots in love.
A/N: I'm hitting the prompt Vanilla for this one, so please don't be scared off by the KinkBingo tags! I had a lot of fun writing this one (and adding Pride and Prejudice quotes into the smut scene because HELLO). Let me know what you think in the replies~♡
Masterlist || Bingo Board
You hadn't seen Spencer in 100 days. Which in the grand scheme of things wasn't that long, trapped in the purgatory of a ‘what if’ the way you had been for the last eight years.
You'd lived without him for longer than 100 days before. He'd been in prison, you'd been on assignments, you'd lived an entire life before meeting him, but now somehow 100 days was too much time, and you were exhausted. You understood why Spencer had to take some time away from you, from the team in an official capacity after everything he'd been through. You supported him even.
But when even your free time didn't overlap anymore, you wondered if your relationship would ever be the same again.
Spencer was a friend, your best friend, probably. You'd arrived on the BAU team, he'd rattled off some statistics, stammering the way through them, and you'd immediately warmed to the man. He was brilliant, funny, and fiercely loyal, and you tried your best to protect him even when the job seemed designed to break people like him into thousands of little pieces.
You'd tried to convince him to leave before, after Maeve had died. You didn't want to see him heart broken again, but no one else had seemed to agree.
“Reid needs purpose,” they'd said. “Reid needs something to do.”
What Reid needed was to not end up dead before he had a chance to be happy, and happiness didn't come often in your field of work.
You'd been almost vindicated a year later when he'd been shot again, almost fatally. Vindicated, maybe but distraught and inconsolable. Morgan had to carry you screaming and clawing out of his hospital room multiple times. It sounded stupid enough to yourself that it was only then you realized your feelings for the man.
You wanted to be Spencer Reid's happiness, which was why you were so lost without him.
He was coming back on Monday, and at least you had the weekend to sort your feelings out about everything.not just about him, but about the job you'd found didn't fit you well enough anymore, about the team you loved like family, about the relationship you knew would likely never come to fruition.
You dumped your bags at your door when you'd arrived in your house that night, pushed yourself into your bedroom and let yourself collapse on your bed, balling up into as cozy a position as you could. You didn't even bother taking your jacket off, you just let your brain haze over and sleep rush in.
Three quiet raps at your door lifted you up and out of bed again, not an hour later.
You grabbed your phone, grabbed the second go-bag you kept at your house, put your shoes back on, and opened the door, expecting Emily and a new case.
“Where are we going?” You said, rubbing the sleep out of your eyes, not even looking up at your guest.
“Hopefully, nowhere? I brought takeout.”
Your eyes widened then, taking in all 185cm of Doctor Spencer Reid, tweed jacket and plastic bag full of chow mein included.
“Spencer,” you breathed out, like a sigh of relief, letting the bag drop to the floor next to the first one and letting yourself into his arms.
He held you carefully there for a second before leading you back into the apartment, wrapping an arm around you and ruffling your hair. It was brotherly, and it made you sick to your stomach.
“What are you doing here?”
“Emily said you were back from a case,” he started, unpacking the takeaway from the containers. “And it feels wrong to eat this without you.”
You rolled your eyes and followed him into the kitchen, pulling two forks out of the drawer nearer you and stabbing them in the top of your two cups.
“Hey, I can use chopsticks now,” he said, defending himself against an inside joke. Spencer was always useless with his hands.
“I don't care if you can use them, I care that they don't accidentally end up stabbing me,” you said, taking yourself back to your bedroom, Spencer following.
“You'd hardly die from being stabbed by a wooden chopstick, maybe a papercut or a splinter but-”
“But you're just bad enough that I don't want to risk it.”
You kicked off your shoes again and climbed onto your bed. Spencer followed.
“Remind me again why we aren't sitting on your couch?”
“Uncomfortable.”
“Or at your breakfast bar?”
“Glorified filing cabinet right now. Eat.”
He shook his head but complied, leaning back against your pillows as you both began carefully eating. Silently, you pulled your laptop onto your bed, opened it up, and pressed play on a movie, one you'd seen more than once, and you'd forced Spencer to watch before as well.
In a comfortable, friendly silence, you finished your food. You stretched out in a yawn once and then curled into his side, letting his mumbling voice, repeating the movie lines as they were spoken, lull you softly into sleep.
Spencer knew he had to leave, but he couldn't bring himself to wake you. The movie had finished hours ago, he'd closed the laptop and turned off the bug lights, but he couldn't leave.
Unlike you, he hadn't counted the days that you'd been apart. He hadn't needed to. He knew you'd be waiting there for him when he returned, knew you'd give him a smile and a pat on the back, and immediately start bouncing ideas off of him. It was what he loved about you.
As he laid next to you in your bed, a place he'd absolutely been before, his heart thumped. Just once, but hard.
Even in sleep, you looked exhausted. Your shirt was crumpled, hair a mess, you were still wearing makeup, and he knew he'd probably get an earful for letting you sleep like that in the morning. You were a mess, and he still wanted you.
The thought came to him suddenly, another painful thump of his chest echoing in his mind. He rubbed absent mindedly at his chest as if experiencing heartburn. In the dim light of the room, he let his head drop to the pillow and wrapped two shaky arms around you and pulled you in closer.
The two of you were a picture - both in suits, both with badges still somewhere on your person, both dearly clinging to the person they feared losing the most.
When you woke the next morning, it was actually the afternoon.
“Spencer,” you groaned, melting under the heat of his embrace. Somehow, during the night, he'd rolled on top of you, pressing you into the bed with a delightful pressure, head nuzzled into your neck, arms tucked around your waist.
“Spencer, we should get up,” you said again, forcing your eyelids apart as your mascara tried to glue them together.
“Mmmmhh,” he groaned, moving to pick himself up off you for a minute but lowering himself again. If asked, he'd blame your hand in his hair, stroking the rogue curls gently, as if he were a prized pet and you their carer.
“Spencer, its 2pm.”
“On a Saturday.” You laughed at how pouty his voice sounded, but he complied and rolled off of you slightly, arms still wrapped around you.
“Come on. Get up. I've got some clothes that might fit you, let's get you out of the tweed.”
He huffed but nodded and lifted himself halfway to upright, eyes still closed lazily as he let in the light millimetre by millimetre.
“God, my face feels horrible,” you said, itching at your nose. “How did we even sleep so long like this? My belt is still on, Spencer, my belt.”
“If you were still wearing a weapon, then I'd be worried,” he smiled.
You shot him a sarcastic look and finally detangled yourself, only to clasp his hands and pull him forward as well, letting him trail you to your closet.
“Here, change in the bathroom,” he nodded and walked away, following directions with eyes still closed, as if it were really his apartment and not your own.
100 days without him, and it was as if it had only been 100 hours. Your entire body chemistry changed when he was around, the stick holding your spine rigidly in place, dissolving into calm, into a smile and a free giggle. It felt right again, and you almost forgot you'd ever felt wrong.
After briefly changing, you swapped place with Spencer, who'd exited the bathroom with a toothbrush hanging out of his mouth and wet hair.
“Dry it for me?” He asked, sitting on your couch, and you nodded your ascent. A shower and a quick change later, and you were doing just that.
As much as he tried to keep his head upright, it kept lolling onto your thigh, yawns stretching out of him as he nuzzled closer to you.
“Spencer, you're like a big kid, keep your head up.”
“I'm not a kid,” he laughed, hooking his arms behind your knees and nuzzling closer into your soft sweats. “I'm just tired.”
“You're right. A child would probably be better behaved.”
“Our child would be,” he sighed, but you'd already turned the hairdryer back on, drowning out everything. Everything but that thump again. A child, he was thinking about children, and more importantly, he was thinking about your children. With him.
He'd always imagined himself with a family, knowing it would ultimately stay in his imagination. But for a second, his visions changed. It wasn't just a child or two. It was you. Thump.
Thump. Thump. Thump. Thump.
He only released the image when you finally pushed his head off of you and stood, turning away from him to get a glass of water from your kitchen.
“So, any plans today? Books to read, papers to mark, undergrads to run away screaming from?” You let the ice water cool your hot cheeks, but kept your back to him. You were hot, embarrassed, and you were looking at him in a sickeningly sweet way that could only be described as love struck or struck dumb.
“No, no, I finished all my obligations at the college yesterday,” he said, following behind you and picking up your cup when you set it down, taking a sip himself.
“I was… I was actually hoping we could spend some time together? Unless you had plans, which is totally fine-”
“No, Spencer, yeah, I have no plans, that's…. Well I have to do laundry, which is a bit boring but, no. No plans.”
“Laundry?”
“Two week case in Florida, I don't know how you didn't smell me yesterday, Spencer. I'd be running for the hills.”
He laughed and stepped away again, grabbing the two go bags by the door and coming back into your space.
“How about we get this done now so we can spend the day in a Who-Trek marathon?”
“Make that a Who-Greys Anatomy Marathon, and you have yourself a deal.”
He pouted again, and you snorted at the sight, taking another sip of water to calm yourself before you could react safely to that face.
“Come on, you know you've been dying to know what happens next at the Grey Sloane Memorial Hospital.”
“I thought it was called the Seattle Grace Mercy?”
“Oh we better get to that laundry now. You have a lot to catch up on.”
Grabbing a bag in one hand and his free hand in your other, you made your way down to your building's laundry room. But despite the man by your side and the relaxing day threatening to stretch ahead of you, a gloom caught you in the corridors.
You'd worked for two weeks, practically solid. You'd killed a man two days ago, or at least someone on your team had multiple shots having been fired. Another day on your job, another unsub felled, and everyone else was content with this just being a part of the job description.
It felt like each step towards the laundry room, each thing you did that was normal, that was regular, threw back in your face the pain you endured to save lives.
The bag in your hand weighed you down, pulling you lower and lower by the second.
You reached the laundry room, and you found the weight almost unbearable, stopping just before you could step in. You didn't have to think about what came next though, because suddenly the bag was out of your hands and Spencer was sorting your laundry for you.
“It's a Saturday, so your neighbour's won't complain if we separate the darks and lights into two machines, will they?” He asked, not looking up at you as he worked pouring out the fabric softener and the detergent. “Y/N?”
You hadn't noticed the lightness in your body until the tears hit your cheeks, the weight gone with his support.
“Y/N, what is it? What's wrong?” He said, hands cupping your face, because of course he was immediately at your side.
“I-I can't do it, Spencer…” your voice shook, pitching upwards, your vision blurring with tears.
“Can't do what, Y/N? Talk to me please, let me help?”
“I can't do laundry!” You said, finally bursting into a full fit of tears and burying your head in his waiting chest.
“L-Laundry?” He said, trying not to laugh, but the smile slipping out anyway now you were holding him.
You only sobbed again, nodding into his shirt, aware you were probably leaving snot all over it but not being able to care. It was your shirt anyway. You would just have to add it back to your laundry pile.
The thought set you off on another wave of sobs, and Spencer set about comforting you again. Keeping an arm wrapped around you, he put his quarters into the machines and set them off before quickly ushering you back up the stairs into your apartment.
“Y/N? Y/N, please talk to me,” he begged, smoothing your hair out of your eyes as you tried to gather yourself.
“I don't…. I can't….” You took a breath again, aware of the way your breathing hitched in your chest as you did.
“I don't think I can do this anymore,” you said, and his eyes widened quickly.
“This? Y/N, if you mean this as in us, then I can't-”
“This job,” you clarified, hands digging into the soft flesh of his arms further as he held you, finally sitting back on your couch.
“The job. Okay, the job. That's okay. We all feel like this at some point.”
You sniffed again and refused to meet his eyes.
“But this isn't like the other times this - It's like my whole b-body is protesting, and I can't sleep, and if I don't, then I might get sloppy and an unsub could-”
“Y/N, focus on my voice. You're spiralling. Listen to my voice, let's take some breaths, and think about this for a second.”
He guided you through some breathing, a hand on your back tapping out beats even as his voice grew quiet.
When you finally relaxed, you were sat on top of him, his hand rubbing circles into your back.
“I think it started when you left,” you whispered. “When you went to Mexico, and then, you know,” you've voice thickened, and you couldn't get the words out.
“And then these last 100 days they've just been…difficult.”
“100…difficult,” he echoed, almost breathless as he listened to you.
“It's like I can't do it without you. I never had to try to do it without you, and now I get what people say when they say this job is shitty, because it is when your best friend isn't there.”
You gave him a weak smile and wiped away your tears, trying to climb from his lap. But his firm arms held you still, and you didn't really want out anyways.
“When I get home, everything is different, and I can't make myself do anything. If you weren't here, I wouldn't have done that laundry. I'd let it sit and avoid it for weeks. Do you understand?”
“Y/N, lots of people feel depressed sometimes-”
“It's not - Spencer, I don't think this is something I can medicate my way out of. I don't know what to do because I can't do my job without you, and I can't be happy doing my job, and if I leave my job I'll be without you and then-”
Your voice cracked again.
“And then I still won't be happy.” The words were barely a whisper, but they were a plea, too. You weren't sure what for.
“You can't be happy without me?” He asked, but it was more a statement than anything else. Spencer felt horrible in that moment as his chest rattled, gleeful that he was your happiness.
“I love you,” he said, outloud finally after eight years.
“I love you, too, Spencer, but-”
“No, Y/N. Listen to me. I. Love. You.” The thumping of his heart set the tempo for the choir that was his senses to begin singing, as he finally leaned forward and kissed you.
“I love you, and I don't care if you're working at the BAU or if you're avoiding laundry at home. I, god, you're amazing and wonderful, and you're a human being, and you've our yourself under so much pressure for the last decade to keep me alive, to keep all of us alive really and….”
He took another breath, leaning into kiss you one more time.
“And you deserve a break.”
“W-When we take breaks, people die.”
“Did anyone die when I was teaching for the last three months? When JJ went on maternity leave?”
You shook your head, but your brain was still a mess.
“You all had reasons, I-”
“You have reasons, too. Y/N…. Y/N, let me be your reason.”
For a moment or two, Spencer truly thought you were going to say no. He thought you would get up and walk away, or better yet, ask him to leave and never come back.
So when you pressed your lips to his, he was sure that this was a dream.
But to you, it was salvation. Spencer Reid's love was the lifeline you'd been thrown, and it was buoyant enough to make you start floating.
His hands kneaded the flesh at your hips as he pulled you closer still to him, his tongue slipping into your mouth to explore every part of you there.
“Y/N… love…you,” he mumbled with each spare breath he caught, and you only detangled your lips to hear him say it again as he pressed similarly heated kisses against every inch of your exposed skin.
When Spencer's mind lost its ability to create original speech, he leant back on a lifetime of information, of learning love through books and people and marathons with you.
“I know that all I know right now is that I love you. And I know that I always will,” he whispered, lifting you and carrying you back to the bed you'd only crawled from an hour hence.
A hand slid under your shirt, and slowly pushed it over your head, letting it slowly drop to the floor as he held you tenderly.
“To me, you are perfect.”
His mouth found one nipple, and he gently kissed, then suckled at it, hands softly caressing your stomach, feeling along every ridge of you as you writhed under him.
“Of all the FBI Units, in all the towns, in all the world, she walks into mine.”
“Spencer,” you said, voice still thick with tears, but these ones more tender, more joyful.
His hand eased your sweats over your ass and off, his hips settling between your legs as if he found the place he was made to lie forever.
“The truth of it is, I’ve loved you from the first second I met you.”
His mouth trailed lower until his tongue hit your clit, brushing against it languidly, as if it was his deepest desire to taste you and nothing else ever again.
His tongue flattened and flicked and pushed inside of you as you replayed his words again and again and again. You found yourself repeating them with him.
“I love you,” you echoed as he pushed a finger inside of you.
“I.. love you,” you gasped as he added another.
“I love you,” you screamed as your back arched up off the bed, finding your pleasure in his tongue, just ad you'd found love in his words.
“You have bewitched me body and soul, and I love….” He freed his cock from his pants, and took it in hand.
“I love…” With another kiss, he pressed the tip of it against you, asking for permission silently as you nodded your head.
“I love you.” He pushed in slowly, but it wouldn't matter how he did it because now you knew how he felt, and you didn't want to return to a time of not knowing.
Hooking your legs around him, Spencer dropped his forehead to yours and looked you directly in the eyes as he began moving. In and out, he thrust, mouth open in a moan of pleasure, likely mirroring your own.
The poetry, the movie lines, they were gone now, and Spencer was left with nothing but you, and love, and love for you.
“Spencer,” you moaned out, and he felt his chest swell. Pride. His name on your tongue, his body pressed to yours, claiming you as his ad you claimed him as yours.
He came with a shudder and you were not far behind, his undoing sending a shiver up your spine as his fingers grazed your clit again.
You sat panting for a minute, still attached, still forehead to forehead.
You weren't sure if it was him who giggled first or if it was you, but you were glad it was one of you.
You spent the rest of the night, the rest of the weekend, wrapped in his warmth, dressed in his love, taking each day a step at a time as you basked in his adoration.
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DESTROYED - L. HEESEUNG
Pairing: heeseung ⚥ reader
Warnings: bullying, violence, crying, cursing, mentions of smut, filler chap, barely edited.
Genre: 18+, smut, minors dni!
WC: 1,992k
⟱⟱⟱
About a week had passed after you so willingly let heeseung defile and destroy your precious body.
You felt dirty, you felt used, you felt disgusted with yourself.
But though all the above was true, the feeling you felt the strongest was confusion.
You were confused with the way he treated you.
You’re aware he doesn’t know you, but not even a stranger treats someone the way he treats you.
He used your body for his own pleasure and personal gain and just left you with no ounce of remorse or care.
And you wanted to know why.
You’ve never done anything to him, so why was it so easy for him to treat you like yesterday’s garbage and walk away without so much as even an apology?
All he did was threaten you and leave you there to help yourself.
You felt like you deserved an explanation from him after he took your innocence away from you. That’s the absolute least he could do for you.
You know he told you to never look at him or call him again but right now that didn’t feel like an option for you you were going to get the answers and the closure you needed from him even if you were going against what he told you.
You’ve had a crush on him for too long not to at least know why he doesn’t like you back and why he thought it was okay to walk away from you in your most vulnerable state.
You were determined to talk to him today once you entered the school building but that changed the instant you go there.
Sharing the same class with him wasn’t easy this past week even the sight of his back intimidated but you did your best to focus on anything except him cause he took up enough of your late night thoughts already.
The one time your eyes shifted from your teacher just so happened to be at the same time that he looked up from his notepad his stare was cold as ice his jaw clenched tightly with what you would assumed to be was anger and you quickly lowered your head to focus on anything else besides his agitated face.
Your heart raced in your chest, and you couldn’t believe that just a single look from him could evoke so many emotions in you.
Whether you liked it or not, you still had a soft spot for him even after everything he did to you, and that, on top of feeling sad and hurt, was the worst mix of emotions combined.
For the rest of the day, you did your best to ignore thoughts of heeseung, and you were doing excellent, surprisingly.
You had exited the school building, and you were on your way home. You decided not to bring up last week to heeseung, at least not today. You weren’t quite ready yet, especially after the way he glared at you in class. You wanted to take your time to calm your emotions and get all your thoughts together before you had that conversation with him.
You clutched the straps of your backpack walking in the opposite directions of all the other students you took the back way instead cause it was always a few minutes faster less people were back there but you never sensed any real danger you’d been taking this route for years and so far you were incident free.
But for the first time, you did feel a sense of danger or at least fear as you were pushed against the base of a tree in the middle of the woods. You tried to scream, but your mouth was immediately covered by a large palm. “What the fuck did I say?” Heeseung was now towering over you, his jaw clenched tightly the same way it was back in the class you shared with him.
Your screams were muffled by his hand, and no one was even close in the distance to help you.
You tried to push his hand off, but he was far stronger than you, and it was no use. You quickly lost all your energy, so you gave up trying to fight him. Despite the fear rushing through your body, you just didn’t have the strength to match his and fight back.
“You think I was lying when I said next time wouldn’t be like before?” Your eyes were flashing back and forth, looking in his to see some ounce of remorse or guilt, but you found nothing but pure rage in his eyes.
You shook your head no immediately, but he kept his hand still, so you couldn’t say a word.
“Then why did I catch you staring at me again when I specifically told you not to?” He uncovered your mouth, finally giving you a chance to speak, and instead of answering his question, you tried to scream for help.
“HELP!” Your first cry for help was your last cause. You were left speechless when a harsh slap landed against your cheek, the sting causing tears to well in your eyes.
“Shut the fuck up. You asked for this.” he pinned you against the tree by your arms as your eyes shook in fear.
“Pleas-“ Even your pleas fell on deaf ears as he slammed you against the tree, knocking the wind out of you.
You whimpered from the painful impact, and not even then did he stop.
“Don’t say please now you had this coming,” he seethed and slammed you against the tree again, his fingertips painfully digging into your shoulders as he gripped you tightly.
“Hee-“ your words got caught in your throat as his hands wrapped around your neck, cutting off your air supply.
“Fucking hate when you say my name. I fucking hate you” he wrapped his hands around the entirety of your neck, squeezing until your airways were completely blocked off.
You kicked and clawed, trying your best to free yourself, but again, the struggle made you lose your strength even faster, and before you knew it, your vision was going black.
You grabbed at his arms, trying to gouge into his flesh so he would let you go, but the thick material of his blazer made it impossible for you to penetrate his skin, and now you were absolutely defenseless.
Right before you blacked, he released you, and you fell to the ground, choking and gasping for air as you trembled in fear, not daring to look up at him or yell for help.
He gathered a ball of saliva in his mouth and spat on you, neglecting your barely conscious body.
Just when you thought he would leave you alone like he did back in that classroom, he gripped your collar and yanked you up off the ground. “Let this be a reminder to keep your eyes off me,” he gritted through his teeth and threw you to the ground before he walked away, finally leaving you helpless in the woods.
You stood up on wobbly legs, your knees full of dirt and small cuts. Tears stained your cheeks as you lifelessly limped through the woods.
And after that incident, you didn’t care about anything; you didn’t care about getting closure; you didn’t care about why he did what he did to you.
You just know not to get involved with him anymore because it always ends with you feeling hurt and sad.
-
The next day, you did absolutely everything in your power to avoid Lee heeseung.
You didn’t dare walk in his direction and you kept your eyes glued to the ground you even skipped the one class you had with him just so you wouldn’t accidentally make eye contact with him and upset him further than you already had.
You hugged the lockers in the hallways, always making way for him to come through, scared of what he might do to you if you ever crossed him again. You even left school late just to make sure he was gone so you wouldn’t have an accidental run-in with him.
Heeseung smirked when he saw you avoiding him.
So you’ve learned your lesson, he thought.
You should have known better than to go against his words to begin with.
If you had listened, your neck wouldn’t be bruised with his handprints, and you wouldn’t be wandering around with your head down like a meek little mouse if you had just left him alone and stayed the fuck out of his business, but maybe now your stupid little pea brain can comprehend to keep your eyes to yourself.
Maybe now you can understand he wants nothing to do with you.
-
Every day since that day he assaulted you in the woods, you always took the long way home, and you always watched your back just in case you did something that day to offend Lee heeseung.
You know, It didn’t much matter now after all the horrid things he’s done to you.
But to this day, you are still confused by him.
His exterior would never lead you to believe that he was the kind of person he is.
The kind of person that could so easily tear someone down.
Even as you dressed your wounds when you went home the day he nearly choked you unconscious, you still couldn’t believe it was actually done by his hands.
You didn’t want to believe it was him who did it.
One of the things that drew you to him in the first place was how good of a student he was he got the top grade every time.
He was always well-mannered. He didn’t have friends, but he was exceptionally nice to his teachers.
His outfit was always prim and proper, perfectly ironed and ready for any occasion.
And even past his physical appearance and personality, there was just something mysterious about him that drew you to him.
He was quiet and well reserved which was odd cause with a face like his it seemed like he’d be the popular kid and surrounded by a bunch of people but that’s just the thing he wasn’t and you think that’s what made him attractive to you.
He was smart, nice, good looking, and he didn’t have that typical cocky jock attitude that all the good-looking guys had in your school.
Maybe that should have sent off some alarms in your head, but it didn’t.
Although you should have known something was wrong because, honestly speaking, he was too good to be true.
Thinking about it now maybe it would have been better if he had taken on that persona cause to see the person he really is was something you couldn’t have ever imagined.
You’d take the cocky jock over the handsome harasser any day.
Even as time passed, what he did to you just didn’t feel real, maybe cause you wanted him to be different, maybe cause in your mind, you thought that you and him would live happily ever after.
Alas, that wasn’t the case. The reality was that he was just another bad person walking amongst many, and your luck happened to be the worst cause. Why, out of everyone, did you have to be attracted to Lee heeseung?
If you had never liked him, none of this would have happened.
You scold yourself for even thinking that you were to blame in this situation but that’s just how messed up you were after everything that happened.
You could go down the rabbit hole all day of the endless possibilities in a world where heeseung didn’t defile your body, in a world where he didn’t harm you.
But the truth is he did, and now you have to live with the uncomfortable consequences and seeing his face every day for the rest of your school year.
All thanks to Lee Heeseung, your year-long crush, your life was destroyed.
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Thanks for reading please reblog and leave feedback.
#heeseung smut#enhypen heeseung smut#enhypen heeseung#enhypen#heeseung#lee heeseung#lee heeseung smut#enhypen smut#enhypen hard hours
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Hiiiii, love ur writing!!! May I request a story about the strong and undefeatable villain getting some head injury (maybe concussion) during the battle with some third party, and after that peacefully resting on a bench in alley, but then hero finds him and decides to help, even though these two don't like each other. Pretty please 🐹☘️💗
your please was so pretty i couldnt not write this! i really enjoyed this one, i hope you do too :D
Part of the hero’s job is helping those in need. Stopping when they cross someone lying on a park bench, in the dingiest, darkest part of the park, just feels normal to them in the moment.
That is until they notice who it is.
“[Villain]?” The hero can’t think of anything else to say. Their hands are already halfway to the cuffs in their pocket. “What’re you doing out here?”
This is the part where the villain leaps up with a laugh about how the hero’s fallen into a trap, leaping into a monologue before the inevitable battle.
But instead the villain opens his eyes to glance at them, his gaze not fully focusing on them, and simply says “‘m tired.”
The hero crouches down to his level. It’s clear he has no intention of getting up. They open their mouth to say something curt, distrusting, but they stop themself short.
They’ve noticed the blood painting the other side of the villain's face, dried into his hair and on his skin. Panic flutters in the hero’s gut. How bad is it? What happened? Their training only covered the basics of first aid. This wasn’t part of it.
He looks so small like this. The hero had always thought of the villain as indestructible, perfect in every evil way. But this—he’s defeatable, he’s normal, he’s human. Just like the rest of them.
They carefully push the villain over, earning a disgruntled “eugh” that they ignore to brush his hair away and take in the damage.
“Are yo’ shoes clean?” he says shortly as the hero grapples with a tissue from their pocket. “I think… I’m gonna throw up.”
“Please don’t.” They carefully take their tissue to the villain’s head, which he tries to cringe away from. “Can you tell me what happened?”
“Wha’?”
“What happened to you, [Villain]?”
The villain’s eyes train on the hero's idly, unseeingly. “There’s stars on your face.”
“Okay. Okay.” Blood has turned the tissue into a crime scene, but it’s making little difference to the state of the villain. “We need to get you some help.”
It barely even occurs to the hero to do otherwise. A hero isn’t a hero without the soul to do the hardest parts of kindness, they know. To show mercy to those who might not deserve it. To help those who likely don’t want it. To show the villain compassion they know they’ll never get back.
The hero pulls the villain upright, with absolutely no help from the villain. They get him sitting up and he almost keels straight back over the moment they let go.
They settle on the bench next to him, careful to hold him up. “How’re you feeling, [Villain]?”
“I hav’ the… worst headache.” It comes out disjointed, like he’s piecing the sentence together as he says it. The hero pulls his arm over their shoulder. “Wha’s going on?”
“We’re going to the hospital.” The villain barely reacts to this, when before the hero probably would’ve had to drag him there kicking and screaming before. “We’re going to stand up, okay?”
“‘Kay.”
The villain sways on his feet as the hero pulls him up, a slight stagger almost taking them both down. “Oup,” he says with a short breath of a laugh.
“Okay,” the hero says again, more to themself than to the villain. “Let’s get you fixed.”
The hero walks the villain all the way to the hospital, the journey slow and full of close encounters with the pavement, and makes themself at home in his hospital room.
The villain would never do the same for the hero. They’re a villain. Obviously. That’s why the hero is the good guy. They'd expect nothing less.
But when the villain wakes up properly, coherent and all-there, the first thing out of their mouth is an absolutely seething, entirely genuine “thank you.”
#creative writing#writblr#writers on tumblr#writing#writing community#heroes and villains#hero x villain#LAST DAY AT WORK TOMORROW BITCHESSSSS#i am So Excited to leave it has been a tar pit ever since i handed my notice in#fukn BYE
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୧ ⊹₊ ⋆ nsfw alphabet 💭 feyd rautha
WARNINGS ⁞ smut, 18+, profanity, innuendo, afab reader, she/her pronouns
OPs NOTES ⁞ Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Dune characters nor do I claim to own them. I do not own any of the images used nor do I claim to own them. Comments, likes, and reblogs are never required but are immensely appreciated 🩷
MY NOTES ⁞ This is not my work. If you are the owner of this work and would like it taken down, please provide proof of ownership and I will take it down/redirect where necessary! Link to the fic reblogged on one of my other side blogs.
A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)
If you’re his wife or a favored concubine/lover, you can expect some degree of aftercare, but otherwise? He’s honestly probably halfway out the door before you’ve come back to your senses. However if he genuinely cares about you, he’ll at least clean you off and ask if you’re alright.
B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)
His favorite body part of his own is his hands. And your neck for similar reasons. He loves watching the way his fingers wrap around your throat. The sight of that excites him like nothing else on the planet.
C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)
Harkonnen have black cum and that makes it pretty easy for Feyd to stain your body or clothes and mark his territory.
D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)
You’re a bit shy about it but his absolute favorite act of intimacy with you is going down on you when you’re on your period. You’re so responsive, and blood has never scared him.
E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)
About what one would expect for a nobleman his age, maybe slightly less as he focuses more on fighting.
F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)
Missionary for both the control it gives him over you and the intimacy it provides.
G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)
Deathly serious.
H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)
Shaved, perfectly well groomed. Feyd is a future Baron, and everything about him needs to be flawless.
I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)
He’s surprised by how much he changes through the course of your relationship. He goes from despising the romantic aspects of it to craving that affection from you.
J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)
Only does it when he’s off world and can’t get his greedy hands on you.
K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)
Knife kink, blood kink, impact play, hair pulling, biting, overstim, pregnancy kink, breeding kink
L = Location (favorite places to do the do)
The luxurious chambers be shares with you at the palace. But, he does enjoy a good session where there’s a risk of being caught.
M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)
Your cleavage, the sound of your voice, seeing you hold your own in a fight, seeing you smile at him, seeing you cry.
N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)
He’d be turned off by disrespect. Sass is fine to a certain degree, but disrespect? No.
O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)
Prefers giving. Loves the power he has over you to make you scream and writhe against his ministrations, the way you taste, everything about it. And he’s damn good at it.
P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)
Almost exclusively fast and rough and HARD. Very rarely will it be slow and sensual.
Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)
Sure, he’d rather take his time with you but he has nothing against a good quickie and engages in them often.
R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)
Definitely a risk taker and game to experiment with almost anything at least once.
S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)
4-5 rounds, excellent self control so makes you come at least once or even twice before he does each go about. If he has time, he’s definitely going to wear you out.
T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)
Prefers the simpler things - like knives - but would have no issue trying out some toys on you, not so much on himself.
U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)
If you’ve pissed him off? He can be very, VERY unfair. He will edge you for literal hours until you’re begging him to let you come.
V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)
Average to slightly louder than average. Mostly animalistic sounds (snarling, growling) and the occasional moan of your name.
W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)
Secretly enjoys the idea of you taking the lead and pinning him to the bed, having your way with him, riding him and using him.
X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)
He’s big. 8 inches, long, thick, veiny.
Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)
Average. He’s a busy man who often has other things on his mind, BUT when he’s with you and doesn’t have any worries? It goes from average to insane quite fast.
Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)
Depends on his mood. Typically he will fall asleep pretty quickly.
#feyd rautha#feyd rautha x reader#feyd x reader#dune part two#dune part 2#dune 2#dune movie#dune 2024#dune#not my writing#reupload#afab reader
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May Prompt 29 | Hero
Warnings: Violence and a little bit of steamy stuff at the end (definitely not too bad though)
——
John Watson has always been known for his heroic antics. It’s in his nature, it’s who he is. Sherlock has always found it admiring, though of course, he’s never been one to show it.
John Watson is a force to be reckoned with. He puts up a fight when needed and defends the weak. Sherlock knows this is because John has been in the weak’s position before, so he has a feeling on what it’s like to be so helpless.
Yes, John is a hero. He serves and protects. He’s a loyal individual who knows what he wants.
Right now? Sherlock hates it.
Right now, Sherlock wishes John were a selfish man who only provided for himself.
It always begins with an innocent person who’s stuck themselves in a predicament. Sherlock and John were on a case, and they happened to be in the right place at the wrong time. The suspect was pointing a pistol at their next victim, ready to fire it. Sherlock and John walked in just in time. John tried to talk him out of it, but the man had vigorous eyes that showed no sign of dropping the gun. John saw this. Damn John for his somewhat acceptable observation skills.
John ran forward right as the pistol went off, tackling the victim to the floor to save him.
Sherlock’s breath hitched, his mind stopped, and his body broke out into a cold sweat.
John, on the floor, holding a man tight, maybe shot, maybe not.
Sherlock wanted to cry, scream, kill, anything that would represent the terror that settled in him.
His mind coming back after a few moments, Sherlock saw the man raise the pistol again, and Sherlock attacked him. He fought for the gun, threw it to the side with purposeful force, and began beating the man with no mercy. It must have lasted for a while since his hand became numb. He felt strong arms grasp his sides and pull him back effectively, dragging him into a firm chest that instantly brought him comfort.
Sherlock turned, meeting steel blue eyes that forced him to calm. Before Sherlock knew it, police were parading the scene and taking care of the loose ends. Sherlock could barely form two words, shock still coursing in him. John took care of everything else, receiving praise for his actions.
How dare they. How dare they congratulate his selfless acts that nearly got him killed. Sherlock held a sneer for the rest of the time.
They have returned to Baker Street, and John senses Sherlock’s anger. They don’t say anything as they take off their coats, hanging it on the rack.
In effortless composure, John walks into the kitchen to make tea. Sherlock wants to tell until his lungs give out. Yes, they’ve encountered dangerous situations before, but the bullet was centimeters away from John. Sherlock could have lost him. Sherlock could have come home alone tonight.
“Tea?” John asks from the kitchen, as if his mere existence isn’t a miracle. “I know you’ve been running off an empty stomach for—”
“Shut up,” Sherlock interrupts, striding to John and cupping his bewildered face before colliding their lips together. Sherlock sighs through his nose in relief at feeling the familiar softness. John hums in delight, gripping Sherlock’s waist and pulling him closer.
Once John pulls away, he’s grinning like a mad man. However, when he sets his gaze on Sherlock’s troubled expression that he tries to keep neutral, though it’s no use, his face morphs into concern.
“Sherlock—”
“Don’t,” Sherlock says, and he’s surprised to find that his voice is edging on cracking. “You are an idiot.”
“What?”
“An absolute idiot,” Sherlock repeats, eyes flooding with tears that he would find embarrassing if it weren’t for the fact that John almost died. “Is there some requirement that’s bestowed upon you that you have to risk your life?” Sherlock scolds, his tone built in frustration. “You don’t always have to be a hero, John. It’s—I almost…you could have—”
“But I didn’t,” John whispers, taking his hands. “Sherlock…love, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to frighten you.”
Sherlock scoffs. “No, but you were going to risk your life so that I would find you dead?”
John’s face turns stern. “That wasn’t my intention and you know it.”
“It certainly seemed like it,” Sherlock bites back. “You jumped in front of a bullet.”
“It was a reaction, Sherlock. It all happened so quick.”
“That doesn’t excuse you!” Sherlock snaps. “You almost left me, John. All because you wanted to be some savior—”
“Yeah. I jumped in front of a bullet because I wanted all of London to hear my fucking name in the papers,” John replies with seething sarcasm.
Sherlock shrugs John’s warmth off him, walking into the living area. He will not cry over this. He will not cry over John yelling at him. Overstimulation is a weakness that’s so human, it makes Sherlock sick.
Sherlock hears a sigh behind him, and he knows John is either running a hand through his hair in thought or rolling his shoulders to ease the tension.
A moment later, hands wrap around his waist, and John turns him so that they’re facing each other. Sherlock’s arms are crossed, closed off. He stubbornly doesn’t make eye contact with John, though the doctor doesn’t make any effort to push for that sort of attention.
Instead, to Sherlock’s surprise, he leans forward and kisses his jaw. The soft run of lips make Sherlock’s lips open partly, his hands coming up to grip John’s shoulders. John’s lips travel down to his open neck, where he begins to breath in fully, as if memorizing his scent. Sherlock’s hand fists through John’s hair when the former soldier begins sucking marks on his skin, no shame attached.
At a particularly hard bite in the middle of his throat, Sherlock gasps, “John.”
“Sometimes showing you is better than words,” John murmurs, his focus now placed on licking up Sherlock’s throat.
Sherlock tries to stammer out something, but what for? John’s determination has kicked in, and the doctor is ruining his neck like it’s the last thing he’ll ever do.
“You know I love you,” John says, kissing around a bruise that Sherlock knows is turning a deep purple. “You know that I would do anything for you, love. But you must acknowledge that I know where my loyalties lie. My first instinct is to…” A lap of tongue around the base of his neck. Sherlock whimpers. “…protect you. However, this was a situation I needed to act quickly on. No, wasn’t sure if the bullet would hit me or not, and I apologize for making you worry so. But the man needed my helped and I helped. I wasn’t trying to prove anything and I certainly wasn’t trying to make you lose me.” John kisses up his neck, then his jaw, and then finally his lips. They kiss for a long moment before John pulls away, his breath against Sherlock’s. “All right?”
Sherlock, still in a bit of a daze, nods. “All right.”
“I will try to be more careful.” He picks up Sherlock’s hand and kisses it. “You know I adore every piece of you. I never want you to worry like that again, but…”
“Yes, I know,” Sherlock breathes. “It’s part of The Work.”
“I know you know.” John sends him a pointed look. “And you’re not free from this blame either. You get yourself in dangerous situations all the time.”
Sherlock rolls his eyes. “Yes, but I actually know what I’m doing.”
John gives him a glare that’s sparked with mischief in his eyes. “We’ll talk about that later, but first I think I need to take you to bed.”
“That seems most delightful. And John?”
“Hm?”
“I adore you as well.”
——
I know I haven’t been posting a lot. I’ve been so busy lol. But just a little something for @calaisreno ‘s prompts. Thank you!
Tags: @a-victorian-girl @whatnext2020 @totallysilvergirl @thegildedbee @with-a-ghost-mr-holmes @jawnn-watson @blogstandbygo @lisbeth-kk @holmesianlove @7-percent @itsonlytext @chinike @peanitbear @helloliriels @keirgreeneyes @ghostofnuggetspast @dw91165 @jolieblack @gwendelaneyisjohnlocked @cortina @kettykika78 @johnlockbbc @dapetty
#johnlock#sherlock#bbc sherlock#johnlock fanfiction#writerscommunity#john watson#sherlock fandom#case fic#may prompts 2024#hero#calaisreno#thanks for reblogging!#writumblr#writer tumblr#writers on tumblr#sherlock fanfic#sherlock fic#sherlock fanfiction#sherlock and john
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Mating Dance
Fic is based on this TikTok video.
Summary: Bright Eyes can't sleep and thus, makes it Vincent and Lovely problem.
-
It's a beautiful evening and at long last, Vincent and his Lovely are settling in for bed in their brand new house.
Dinner was most excellent - perfectly cooked wagyu steaks prepared by Vincent that's paired with a glass of blood from a content 40-year-old. Lovely's favourite type. Their lover boy does so love spoiling them and they sure do love counting their blessing...
And reward said lover boy. But that's a story for another beautiful evening.
After the couple is all snug in bed tonight and Lovely is warm in Vincent's embrace, the Vampires suddenly hear a voice outside the master bedroom.
"I need to practice my dance for the ladies... I need to do my warm ups."
The couple freezes for a split second before -
"1...2...3..."
Lovely slowly tilt their chin up to look at their boyfriend. "Wait. Is that - "
Before Vincent could even open his mouth, that familiar voice became louder.
"1... 2... & 1... 2... hooooooooooold."
Then, absolute silence. Despite being a pair of undead, Vincent and Lovely held their breaths.
And then -
"Ladiiiiiiies! Hello! I see you looking for... a MALE!"
"I'm gonna tie that brat up and throw them in our store room." Vincent curses and immediately launches himself out of the bed. He then stomps to the window, leaving Lovely cackling.
The window shoves open. Vincent thrust his head outside to see Bright Eyes below, in their backyard, wearing pajamas which essentially comprise of Frederick's D.A.M.N hoodie, worn-out underwear AND NOTHING ELSE. NOT EVEN A PAIR OF SHOES. WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH THEM!?
"Bright! We are trying to sleep here!" Vincent howls just like Asher when he stubs his toe in wolf form with bits of cake all over his face. That's also a story for another beautiful evening. One with lots of alcohol needed.
"It is I!" Bright Eyes proclaimed with spread arms and uh, spread legs. Lovely gives them 7 out of 10 for their pose. Yeah, they couldn't deny their curiosity any longer and squeeze beside Vincent at the window to see the show.
"Oh, wow." Lovely giggles and clap their hands in applause.
"Don't entertain them, Lovely." Vincent whines; a headache is already pounding in his head. "That's how they keep coming back."
Merciless to his plight, Bright Eyes continues with their mating dance.
"I am... ADEQUAAAAAAATE."
"Interesting... interesting words there."
"And most likelyyyyyy... FERTILE!"
"Just what the ladies want."
"I have my own place and I keep it... TIIIDYYYYY!"
"You can't evict Sam from his own house, Bright!" Vincent hollers, forgetting that all 3 of them are Vampires with superhuman hearing. It's a good thing that they don't have any neighbours, or someone would've already called the cops. "Frederick would cry if he finds Sam tied up in Darlin' truck again!"
"I can't sleep!" Bright Eyes just screams in reply. "And that wasn't me this time!"
"Oh my god. I can't - I seriously can't deal with this, Lovely. I just want to go to bed." Vincent laments, trying and failing to massage the headache away. Do Sam and Frederick even know that Bright's here? Is it worth the effort to call them? Would they even pick up their phones?
Lovely just nudges their elbow lightly to his side. Their lips tug into a sweet smile. "C'mon, Vince. Are you seriously not gonna accept Bright's mating dance? Adequate. Fertile. A place of their own? I'm charmed!"
Poor Vincent looks like he's constipating. So Lovely takes over.
"Bright, honey, your insomnia acting up again?"
"I do not care who is gangstalking me. I will NOT take my meds!"
Lovely snorts while Vincent groans into his hands. "I take that as a yes. Do you want to sleep with us tonight?"
Bright Eyes pause to think the offer seriously. "Yeah, it's better than watching those dancing fruit videos and listen to Tinnitus National Anthem. I got that dog in me that Sam is trying to euthanize. It's getting old!"
"I don't even know what that means!" Vincent snaps. Still, he turns around to prepare some extra pillows, toiletries, and, most importantly, slippers.
Now it's Lovely's turn to coax Bright Eyes inside like a civilised being rather than through the window like a cat.
"What hate crimes that stairs committed?" Bright Eyes ask as they scowl at the smooth wall outside of the house. "Where the drain pipe? OSHA is gonna have an aneurysm."
"That's because the stairs are inside of the house, Bright." Lovely teases. "C'mon, through the front door we go."
Bright Eyes just grumbled but did as told.
The moment they entered the house, they screamed as Vincent carried them into his arms and ran to the bathroom so he could wash them. Like hell would he let their biblically accurate feet into his new floor and bed. Once clean and in Lovely's spare pajamas (Vincent is seriously contemplating burning Bright's underwear), it's Lovely's turn to carry a surly Bright into their bed.
"You need anything? Plushie? Softer pillows? Screaming Victorian landlords ambience with sounds of revolution for sleeping, relaxing and studying background?" Lovely cheerfully asks, busy tucking Bright in between them and Vincent. Impromptu sleepovers are so much fun!
"I need - "
"Here, have this McDonald Happy Meal toy that I got when I was 12." Vincent interrupts and attacks Bright with a cheap plastic toy called Shadow the Hedgehog. They squawked unattractively when it landed on their face.
The trio settled down, and the evening quieted down once more. Lovely and Vincent made sure to only fall asleep once Bright drifted off to the realm of dreams and Fortnite dancers. Warm and safe between those who only want them to be happy, whether Bright realises or not.
"Rest easy, Bright Eyes..."
#monotony's rambling#redacted asmr#redacted audio#redactedverse#fanfic#crack with fluff#redacted bright eyes#redacted vincent solaire#redacted lovely
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This week’s writer spotlight feature is: Penny00Dreadful! @penny00dreadful has 29 fics in the Stranger Things fandom with 25 of them being in the Steddie Tag!
@hbyrde36 recommends the following works by @penny00dreadful:
Crossroads
Cat and Mouse
I'll Tell You My Sins and You Can Sharpen Your Knife
And They Were Roommates!
The Parting Glass
Sam, on top of being an absolutely amazing writer (AND artist!), is one of the brightest lights in this fandom (in my humble opinion). She is incredibly kind and encouraging, always ready to uplift other authors in the Steddie and ST fanfic worlds. I have had the incredible pleasure of being her beta reader for quite some time now, and am consistently blown away by her talent. There isn't a single one of her works that I wouldn't recommend, they are all fantastic reads. -- @hbyrde36
Below the cut, @penny00dreadful answered some questions about their writing process and some of their recommended work!
Why do you write Steddie?
Opposites attract has always been a major draw for me, especially in my fandoms. Every pairing I’ve ever gotten into in every fandom I’ve been in have all been opposites attract and I’m not going to lie to you, I did not make that realization until this question. 😅
I had a very “Huh… that tracks” moment about it. 🤣
So the opposites attract factor is definitely big for me and while I suppose you could say that’s true for many, many pairings in fandom, there’s something about the complete opposite of both Steve and Eddie that is just enrapturing.
From their aesthetic, to their personalities, to their upbringing, it creates such incredibly interesting parallels and options for building stories around them.
On top of that, the two of them are so compelling as characters. Their various hang ups and traumas, their loves and hates, the time period and the genre of work they originated in all coalesce into something so captivating. I adore the two of them so much, they’re so fascinating.
I think everyone can find a little bit of themselves in either one of them, but especially with the addition of Eddie into the series we got a character who was ‘other’, in the same way so many of us feel and are seen, he speaks to us on such a personal level.
So, yeah.
I love them.
What’s your favorite trope to READ?
Oh boy. There are so many. Enemies to lovers, hurt/comfort, fluff. But if I had to pick one that has been my longest standing love, it would have to be a slow burn.
Like, when it hits, it hits. And it hits hard.
What’s your favorite trope to WRITE?
I looooove writing some tasty hurt/comfort. There’s just something so addictive about someone needing to be taken care of after something bad or traumatic happens or they’ve just had a really shitty day. It’s so cathartic.
And also, I cannot like, I love getting comments screaming at me that I’ve made people hurt or cry or feel things because I know I’m going to make it better, I’m gonna give them that comfort. And it’s such an incredible compliment from people when they tell me that my writing has made them feel feelings. Like it is the highest praise possible that I could induce that in someone.
It feels amazing.
What’s your favorite Steddie fic?
Oh my god, that is such a difficult question to answer. I have read so many that have left a permanent mark on my heart or completely rewired my brain.
I had to go look through my bookmarks to narrow it down because my god, there are so many talented people in this fandom and even then I was attempted to just give a list of all my top ones because, god they make me feel so many things, people are so fucking talented, I love them.
But I would say if I had to choose one, there’s one that lives rent free in my brain. I think of it all the time, it is so god damn special to me and if I’m being honest with myself, it’s the first one that came to mind,
It would have to be wouldn’t it be nice (if we could wake up) by kissesforcas kissesforcas
I have talked about this fic on my blog before but it just hits me in the right way every time I read it, it’s absolutely magical. I can’t recommend it enough, please go read it. It changed me completely.
There’s so many beautiful moments in it, the two boys are so protective of each other in it, but they also adore their found family and will defend them at any cost, the two of them feel real, their communication feels genuine and honest and realistic while also being true to their characters, I just adore it.
Is there a trope you’re excited to explore in a future work but haven’t yet?
YES. FANTASY. It is wild to me that I have not done a fully fledged fantasy AU at all yet. Like I adore fantasy, what gives? Why have I not done it yet?
Omg ALSO, historical. Like a lot of my special interests are historical based, WHY have I not done that yet??
AND, AND horror maybe? Like a psychological or zombie or paranormal/supernatural or slasher.
So many things I haven’t explored that I want to do, and I can’t wait!
What is your writing process like?
Okay, so first things first, I get an idea.
Kind of obvious, I know, but yeah, the idea stage. Usually it’ll be something that hit out of nowhere, I’ll write down one line in the ideas doc and then pretend I won’t be thinking of it for the rest of the day.
Then when I admit to myself I want to expand on it, I’ll take all of the brain worms attached to that idea and put them in their own doc. It’ll all be VERY disjointed at this stage, just a stream of consciousness of different situations/conversations/plot bunnies that popped into my head.
Once I feel like I have enough of a concept through that, I begin to put them in order, maybe add a few more.
Then I outline. I’m an outline kinda gal.
Over a page or two I’ll give a bare bones outline of what the fic will be, almost like it’s a short story? But still very rough.
Then I’ll start writing, usually in chronological order, I find that makes it easier to plant seeds and foreshadow and create consistency with the voice of the fic. Sometimes I will jump ahead if I’m really excited about a particular part of the fic, I’ll get it out before I lose steam on it.
HOWEVER, I find that I almost ALWAYS diverge from the outline. If, as I’m writing, things start going in a different direction, I go with the flow, I don’t fight it. Fighting it, I feel is detrimental to my writing, trying to force myself into a box and hey, going with the flow has been working out pretty well for me so far. 🤣
Do you have any writing quirks?
Quirks? I dunno about that. I think I’m a pretty standard writer, but I do end up writing across three devices a lot of the time depending on where’s more comfortable. PC, tablet and phone.
I’ll always stick to writing whatever my brain is focusing on at that time, but if I know I need to get a fic out and I’m not really feeling the inspo anymore, I’ll give myself an extra boost by watching movies with similar themes, listening to music related to it, or even just searching the trope on Pinterest can help me generate excitement about it again.Also do yourself a favor and get yourself a Bluetooth keyboard. It’s a game changer for writing on your phone.
Do you prefer posting when you’ve finished writing or on a schedule?
I’ve done both and I much prefer posting on a set schedule. I always try to get the fic at least 50% finished before I start posting to give myself a nice cushion. Yeah, the immediate endorphin hit of posting once I’m done is great, but I much prefer the option to have a fic mostly or completely done before I post, so I can go back in and tweak things to make a theme hit harder or stick in a tad more foreshadowing or even just to edit.
Which fic are you most proud of?
I love all of my works, honestly. I write for me. I write the things I want to read. I think it would be difficult to narrow down a fic that I am the most proud of. Like I’m actually having a really difficult time picking one and saying “This one. This is the one I am most proud of.”
Because I am proud of all of them and it’s for each of their own reasons. Like, some are very, very personal to me, some are stories that made me feel completely unhinged and obsessed(affectionately) and some are stories that touched people in very real ways, or made them feel safe and seen and that is so incredibly special to me.
It’s a bit of a cop out to say that I can’t pick one, I can’t choose between my children, but I really can’t, they’re all so special, at least to me, in their own ways.
How did you get the idea for Crossroads?
So I have never seen the movie The Old Guard, but I have heard of it and while I know that reincarnation is not an aspect of that movie, I was struck with the idea of someone
going through life over, and over, and over again, just to be close to the one they love the most. Like that kind of time bending devotion.
And I had a brain worm of various historical ways of dying and I couldn’t figure out a way to write all of them into one fic before the idea of reincarnation hit. The very first image I had in my head of Eddie dying was being burned at the stake, so I had to work my way up to that time period and beyond.
I knew I didn’t want it to be something that had only happened a few times over a couple of hundred years.
I knew I wanted it to be an ancient, centuries spanning kind of devoted love which is what led me to Ancient Greece, and in leading me there, I had to figure out why this was happening. Why Steve was traversing time just to be next to his boy again. Hecate appeared out of the mist and invaded my brain and it all kind of spilled out onto the page after that.
When writing Cat and Mouse, what was something you didn’t expect?
I gotta be honest, the whole fic was unexpected. 😅 It was one of those stories when I originally thought of it, it was only gonna be a short little thing, maybe one or two chapters.
By the end of it we were at 16 chapters and over 70K. Apparently I have no idea how to write anything short.
But I think what also took me by surprise was how feral the two of them were for each other even though they didn't actually get together until later. I knew I wanted to have them being snappy and flirtatious for the whole thing and it evolved into the two of them being so dedicated to each other after only meeting a few times.
I also didn’t expect the wild reaction I got to the fic, people loved it and were chomping for more and I was floored by it, it made me so incandescently happy!
What inspired Cat and Mouse?
So, the short answer is I saw this post from steddielations and it burrowed so deep into my brain, I had to get it out!
Long answer is it was a mix of that post, and then a bit of Mr & Mrs. Smith mixed in along with John Wick. I just loved the idea of two deadly people being so soft for each other they’d be willing to burn the world for each other, do anything at any cost to keep the other safe.
What was your favorite part to write from And They Were Roommates!?
Oh my god, the banter. The banter was loaded with bitching and queerspeak and jabs, it was so much fun. I hadn’t really seen a story where the steddie boys had been bitchy queers before, like leaning into it and I just had to, I had to. It was too good of an opportunity to pass up and I could have gone on for ages just the two of them biting back and forth.
How do/did you feel writing I'll Tell You My Sins and You Can Sharpen Your Knife?
Conflicted, honestly. I was worried the POV I was writing from would be a little too out there, you know? There were a few times throughout writing where I thought I’d have to go back and change it out to be more of a standard fic but at the end of the day it felt so right to have the story told the way it was and it also felt very in line with Take Me To Church as well. It’s also the most poetic piece of writing I have done to date and while it’s not something I can see myself revisiting too often, it was a fantastic exercise in moving out of my comfort zone. It got me, right in the heart.
What was the most difficult part of writing The Parting Glass?
Oh boy. The whole fic was an exercise in catharsis. It was a way of processing my own grief after losing a family member and getting it all out into words was very, very helpful. I think the hardest part was just putting down into words how Eddie was feeling right in the aftermath, you know? Like grief is such a personal thing, everyone experiences it differently, so I wanted to try to figure out how Eddie would respond to it, especially considering it was the death of someone so important to him.
So to have him looking around the trailer and it being empty but still with bits of Wayne dotted around like he was about to walk back through the door was probably the realest and most difficult part for me.
Do you have a favorite scene and/or line from any of your fics?
Oh god there’s so many! I could pick so many! But the first thing that came to mind is the small interaction between Eddie and Robin in Return of The King, when Steve is demonstrating his newly acquired vampire strength for the kids and Eddie has to hold onto Robin to keep himself from melting into a puddle:
“Down boy.” She muttered.
“Me next.” He practically whimpered right back. “Oh god, Robbie, I wanna be that stump. Tell him to do me next.”
“You’re pathetic.”
“What about it?”
[...]
Robin leaned in close to his ear but continued to stare at Steve. “If you two don’t calm the fuck down I’m going to get the hose.”
Wet Steve.
“Please get the hose.”
I love Robin and Eddie together whenever I can get them snarking at each other, it’s just so entertaining.
Do you have any upcoming projects or fics you’d like to share/promote?
Oh yeah! A good few things. I’m coming back from my writing break and I’m going to be working on the final two fics for my anniversary event, Through The Valley and Devotion.
I also have a Summer Exchange Fic in the works along with starting on my Steddie Big Bang piece that I am also signed up for as an artist, I’m so excited to start them!
Outside of these questions, Is there anything YOU would like to add?
I think I would just like to add that this blog, this concept is such a wonderful idea, you’re doing great work here to bring people and fics to new eyes and it has been an honor and a privilege to be put forward the way I have, I’m so so so thankful. 🖤
Thank you to our author, @penny00dreadful, and our nominator, @hbyrde36! See more of Penny00Dreadful's works featured on our page throughout the day!
Writer’s Spotlight is every Wednesday! Want to nominate an author? You can nominate them here!
#steddie#steddie fic recs#steve harrington#eddie munson#steve x eddie#stranger things#writer's wednesday#writer's spotlight
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i can't stop thinking about the first episode of season 6, when sam tries to convince dean to come with him, to come back to hunting. he says "it's just better with you around, that's all." it's an interesting line because sam is soulless, obviously. and even though he doesn't understand the details yet, he knows something's wrong with him.
"it's better with you around" he says, citing dean's compassion and care for others as the reason why. and how interesting is that? sam's working with plenty of other hunters who still have their souls—they're all more than capable of caring about the people they save. but sam needs dean specifically. he knows he's missing something, and he sees dean and recognizes that something in him. even cold and calculating and unrelentingly logical, sam recognizes that dean, alone, can "complete" him, give something back to him that he's supposed to have.
in episode 8 he tells dean he "needs his help." he doesn't elaborate; he never explains what he means by that. he has a whole family of hunters who'd be willing and able to help him, but still he needs dean. even without his soul, his hyperrational mind knows he needs him.
soulless sam isn't capable of caring about dean. but he doesn't need to care to know they need to be together, no matter what—to know dean is good for him, dean completes him, dean needs to be there for him.
it's like a sick reversal of season 1. sam drags dean back into this life because he can't keep going without him. because he needs him. because when you think about it logically, and sam has no other choice, there was never any other option for them.
#supernatural#wincest#i mean i'm absolutely looking at this through wincest-colored lenses but this isn't even a romantic observation#and i think that makes it so much worse#every time soulless sam gives an indication that he needs dean in his life even when he's incapable of caring about him. that's so fucked u#like what the fuck do you mean sam's dependence on dean isn't even irrational. that it's so normal to him that it's completely logical#to need him. that sam needs dean the way humans need air to breathe: an unalterable fact of nature and reality#'there are also things about it i remember that i... let's just say i think i should probably go back to being him'#What The Fuck Do You Mean By That Sammy#having a soul hurts but he should 'probably' go back to having one#he says in a conversation about how he knows he should care about dean but doesn't#like there's something inside him screaming for dean. and it's trapped and trying to claw its way out#he needs to care about dean no matter what the cost is. he needs to love him again#it's unnatural and wrong for him to exist without loving his brother. is that what you're saying. is that it#i just can't stop thinking about soulless sam. sorry. what's wrong with him seriously#besides not having a soul#.txt#sam#the winchester gospel#spn posting#6.01#6.08#spn6
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ramble about ur favs i wanna hear abt ur thoughts -zaptrap
HAN’S INFODUMPING ABOUT JAY... START!!!!
so like sgdkdhdkdhd I say Jay and Lloyd are my “favorites” but honestly it’s so hard to pick favorites out of this skittles squad like I love EVERY character for a variety of different reasons. I was going to also infodump about Lloyd but then I started talking about Prime Empire and then this post got. Long. So. it's just Jay I may infodump about Lloyd another day especially since I'm very Conduit Brained Rn but yea yea!
this is long so i'm putting most of it under the cut so y'all don't kill me for making a huge long post
I considered putting Zane and Sora on here as well since I’d also consider them my “favs” but like this is already gonna be. A lot of. Infodumping (also i typed THIS part before I even started and decided not to yell about Lloyd because this already got long enough). Maybe I’ll make a separate post for those two hmm hmm much to consider but for now MY (technically) FAVORITE NINJAGO CHARACTER: JAY WALKER
THE SPARKPLUG WHO INVADED MY BRAIN LIKE A PARASITE
so hey his name is a pun this makes me laugh ridiculously hard every time I remember he is named. After a misdemeanor HSKSHDKFH
Jay is such an interesting case of a character for me because I started out the show not liking him. Which is. Stares at my entire account I think my feelings have changed somewhat
Jay starts out as an asshole I don’t think anyone can disagree with me there (although honestly they’re all assholes in early ninjago they bullied a ten year old and left him dangling several feet off the ground) but over the course of the show you can see him start developing into a much more interesting character. He goes from being so insecure he's faking everything about himself to someone who knows who he is and is so genuine about it
now yea we could argue about whether his character was too uwu-ified post-season 10 but this is the FUN HAN POST SO WE'RE NOT GONNA TALK ABOUT THAT the point is you can SEE the growth that Jay has gone through and I am going to show you that growth through what I call
✨ The Skybound to Prime Empire Effect ✨
I AM SO PASSIONATE ABOUT THE IDEA THAT PRIME EMPIRE WAS WRITTEN TO BE A DIRECT PARALLEL OF SKYBOUND AND WAS CENTERED ON SHOWING HOW THE NINJA ESPECIALLY JAY HAVE GROWN THROUGHOUT THE SEASON
when season 12 rolls around we are at the point in Jay's development where he is CONFIDENT in who he is. He's a fun-loving jokester with the power of lightning and the drive to help people whenever he can. He uses jokes and humor to help alleviate tension and get people through whatever's happening. And when on his own what does he do?
BECOME AN ENTERTAINER BABEY
i like to think jay's club in prime empire was a safe haven for anyone stuck in the game who figured out hey. we Can't Leave and felt freaked about it. Also Jay would generally try and spread the word that hey something ISN'T RIGHT HERE which would lead people to want to stay with him
(totally plugging my friend's fic but this kind of thing is explored in would you like to enter prime empire by @finn-m-corvex y'all should check it out cool cool)
also the prime empire shorts which i watched all of in the midst of typing this video cuz i love them go watch them please please please jay was publically fighting the red visors which I imagine may have raised some red flags for some players
THIS SOMEHOW TURNED INTO PRIME EMPIRE INFODUMPING LMAO ANYWAYS Jay's confident! He becomes an entertainer because it's who he knows he is! And it's something that will get people hyped and having fun, which is very in-character for Jay to do! He uses those kinds of things to mask the Bad Things going on and get people remembering what's good
I've talked about this sort of thing before but that's Jay's whole philosophy as early as season 9! Which is a DIRECT contrast to how he views it in season 6, as Nadakhan puts it scarily accurately
"You make jokes to mask the fact that you're afraid"
(i was gonna grab a screenshot for that like i did with the hunted scene but netflix has bloCKED THE ABILITY TO TAKE SCREENSHOTS THE WAY I USED TO and i don't have them already and i'm too lazy to grab them from elsewhere so alas trust me he says it)
making jokes to hide your fear and using humor to remind yourself of what's good and coping with the bad are two VERY different outlooks on it
so I think this outlook is what drives him to make this glamrock persona in the first place - this is a bad situation, one he's in with other civilians, and what better way to keep him and themself safe until the others get there than throwing a big performance at a safe place!
also it's just so gender okay I want to look like Superstar Rockin' Jay so badly
it's also interesting to see his outlook on his parents change over time! In season six he finds out Ed and Edna aren't his birth parents and feels upset about it, not understanding why his birth parents would've abandoned him. In season twelve, that outlook changing is EXACTLY why Jay's able to get through to Unagami
"I was abandoned by my parents, too!... I never understood why, and I never had the chance to even ask. But I always hoped there was a good reason. What if there's a reason?"
(again curse you netflix i wanted SCREENSHOTS whatever whatever)
It's this scene that gets Unagami to calm down long enough for Milton Dyer to get there, and presumably is what stops him from just. Flattening him and Jay like a pancake.
to piggyback off of this i absolutely adore how Unagami and Jay consider each other adopted brothers in that one book I still haven't read and I hope he's in Dragons Rising at some point Unagami is my favorite "villain" (no longer a villain) in the whole show he deserves more screentime
like this is where i found out about this and it's plagued my mind ever since. i need to read. this book just for them
SO YEA OKAY Prime Empire is "Who is Jay as a Person Post-Skybound" to me also it opens up so many fascinating things about Jay. I rest my case
so backpedaling a little bit. JAY CARES SO MUCH ABOUT HIS PARENTS GUYS IT'S SO SOFT AND I'M sobs
like yea the first episode with Ed and Edna in it has Jay avoiding them like the plague but this gets explained very easily when you remember he was bullied for his home life before he became a ninja. It makes a lot more sense why he wouldn't want them around his new friends, assuming they'd react the same way. Also how was he supposed to know literally all the rest of the groups parents were either dead, presumed dead, or had a toxic relationship with their kid lmao
(Cole calling his mom kills me. Cole's mom is dead. I know they probably just didn't think that far ahead when writing the dialogue but it's so funny mans pretended to call his dead mom to get on Jay for not appreciating his parents iconic behavior)
anyways literally every episode Ed and Edna are central to (except like the one in skybound) Jay stops at nothing to protect his parents and it means the absolute world to me he's so much like them!! They raised an inventive little nerd and he will stop at nothing to make sure they're safe and it's. It's SO IMPORTANT TO ME OKAY
ALSO this is an excuse to clip my favorite piece of dialogue possibly in the entire show. Except Netflix won't let me now. So you just get the text dialogue
Jay's just fallen from the sky with a messed up eye and is incredibly distraught that all his friends are captured. And his dad just. The woRLD IS FALLING APART AND HE'S EATIN' SOUP-
Ed i love you
anyways
anways anyways this just turned into me rambling about prime empire and then Ed and Edna and a lot of disjointed other stuff but thank you for this opportunity i was going to also ramble about lloyd but i put this post in a word count and
yea i think that's enough for a tumblr post anyways! If anyone wants any like. More logically thought out and direct thoughts about characters feel free to send me asks this was fun thank u @zaptrap for this opportunity to scream about jay
#help this was. my brain is so not intact today so if this makes absolutely 0 sense i understand#i did end up watching some prime empire stuff during my ramblings and guys. the ending of that season still makes me cry#this is fully prime empire propaganda btw i need to like. talk about the season more because despite what my skybound posting would lead#y'all to believe THIS IS THE ACTUAL SEASON THAT LIVES IN MY HEAD AT ALL TIMES MOST OF MY MUTUALS ARE JUST MORE SKYBOUND BRAINED#AND IT RUBS OFF ON ME EASILY#but no prime empire is the fucking best#if i talk about jay long enough it WILL just turn into prime empire#also after I wrapped up this post i continued thinking more jay thoughts but this post is already long enough#like how jay is actually SO incredibly self-sacrificing and how he cares so much about helping people#also wow i didn't even mention his powers in that whole ramble. rare for me.#one day i wanna do!! a powers masterpost. like how i view all the ninja's elemental powers#but thats another day's project i am. So Eepy#anyways hope y'all appreciated this#also thank u serp for sending this ask which allowed me to Scream into the Void about jay walker#category 11 han moment fr#ninjago#lego ninjago#jay#jay walker#unagami#edna#ed#i have no idea if ANY of this is coherent btw#prime empire#skybound#hunted#quest for the lost powers#ask#spinjitsu screams
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Hi, I'm new in your blog!
If you don't mind, how do you imagine itadei dynamic? (Especially after know you prefers Itachi as a asshole than a "good guy.
Don't get me wrong, I prefer him like you do)
Hello, welcome!
So, things we know about the Itachi-Deidara dynamic in canon: 1) Deidara is obsessed with Itachi and with forcing Itachi to recognize his "art" (which we can extrapolate to Deidara himself wanting to be recognized by Itachi). 2) Itachi triggered this obsession by spitting rude things at Deidara when he absolutely did not need to be that mean.
So, as part of my interpretation of Itachi, he just says mean things to people for no reason, all the the time. It doesn't necessarily mean he likes you. HOWEVER, since we are analyzing them from a shipping perspective, I am going to say: Itachi enjoys metaphorically yanking Deidara's pigtails.
And now we go into a dynamic I think you COULD extrapolate from canon through a very shipping-heavy lens but which is based more on Vibes than actual canon interactions: Itachi likes watching Deidara's over-the-top reactions. He likes being able to say one (1) thing and immediately having all of Deidara's (screaming) attention on him. He likes that Deidara repeatedly chases him down for murder attempts, because he enjoys Deidara's obsession with him. Itachi is very dedicated to his goals, so I think he'd get annoyed with Deidara if Deidara, for example, interfered with whatever he's trying to do with Sasuke, or if Deidara directly threatened Konoha-- but in general, Itachi finds the cute boy's attentions and single-minded obsession kind of fun? I headcanon Itachi and sort of stupid about this sort of thing, so he doesn't actually know why he gets a kick out of provoking Deidara, but he can't help himself.
(And it helps that Deidara can actually go toe-to-toe with Itachi and then come back for more instead of being someone Itachi can just make cry and move on.)
Deidara also has no idea Itachi likes him. Deidara thinks of himself as a chill, cool guy, but he has a short fuse, and when it comes to Itachi... there's barely any fuse at all. What's wrong with this guy? Why can't Deidara stop caring about his stupid wrong opinions?? Better go ambush him again and try to blow his face off--
So this is the dynamic I think could work with the canon set-up. They're both kind of clueless about their own feelings and it frequently leads to violence and deep sighs from their coworkers. I don't think the different Akatsuki pairs actually saw each that often in canon, so there's not a lot of room for Itachi and Deidara to do any introspection or interact in non-hostile ways. However! That's what fun AUs are for!! I think it would take a lot of words for them to mutually pull their own heads out of their asses, recognize their own maladjusted feelings, and actually get into a relationship, but that journey would be so much fun.
As for the dynamics of an established ItaDei.... probably depends on the circumstances that brought them together? I think Itachi is someone who enjoys the idea of settling down with a permanent home and white picket fence, and Deidara is someone who wants to be ~free~ and is allergic to being tied down, so there's potential conflict there. I can see them as people who have strong feelings about each other and sometimes hook up but aren't ~dating~ due to a difference in life style/goals. But I can also see either side realizing maybe [being a semi-nomadic wandering-nin/having a dedicated home base for art] as actually more in line what they need even if it's not the fantasy life they wanted...?
Also they're both horrible violent assholes so I think the "flirt via assassination attempts" probably dies down, but please don't let either party stop being horrible ninja criminals. :( Like, I like the idea of Itachi opening up more, but the random mean insults never go away-- they just turn sort of mildly endearing like, "ah yes, my asshole boyfriend at it again--" and Itachi still enjoys the screams Deidara makes when he yanks his pigtails. Meanwhile, Deidara's dedication to art isn't ever going away, so Itachi would need to actively show interest and support. On that front: I think it would be kind of fun if Itachi was a mean critic and Deidara occasionally has to begrudgingly admit it makes him a better artist. Also I think Itachi would get real crazy when in love and some people would be freaked out by this, but Deidara would.... he would like it, once he recognized it for what it was. Help them.
#itadei#sorry for the late reply this was buried under a truly impressive amount of spam#re: itachi is still an asshole even if he is a 'good guy'#i think itachi WANTS to be the peaceful pacifist but also he absolutely cannot let go of violence as a solution to his problems#and also he is just a mean person#so i like ships where he gets to be with someone who's okay with him being a violent asshole#like i think a good place for him would be one where he doesn't have to worry about civil wars or murdering people for money#but also sometimes he gets to wrestle his SO or burn down a building. as a little treat.#meanwhile deidara's life goals are ART ART ART so i don't think he NEEDS a people-based outlet for what he does#let him live in the woods and cause untold ecological damage. he doesn't NEED to blow up town hall!!#so i like ships where he gets to be with someone who's okay with the ongoing risk of explosions BUT maybe points Deidara#at artistic outlets that aren't going to get an entire village's ANBU breathing down his neck#deidara doesn't care about murdering people in that he doesn't mind doing it BUT ALSO he doesn't need to#so i think they could mutually get each other to fairly stable/happy places in their lives#the journey would just involve so much fire screaming and illusions
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not to be dramatic but i would, with no hesitation, die for kim kitsuragi
#kim trusts you#KIM TRULY TRUSTS YOU#disco elysium#IM AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA#ok also i wasn't able to save titus cuz my check failed but guess what DE runs like absolute shit on the switch#so my game crashed and i was DEVASTATED#i had to replay again and ok i maybe accidentally got spoilers that kim ends up in the hospital (i didn't know HOW at the time)#and so i'm like oh shit i have to replay it what if kim ends up in the hospital this time#my second playthrough after the crash i was able to save titus by shooting that guy AND kim trULY TRUSTS MEEEEEEEEE#i'm still flailing about that#i need to like SCREAM at someone how fucking emotional i am about this#so instead i'll make this lil post#AND HE HEALED U WHEN NO ONE IN '41 CARED IM#hnnnnngh#BY FAR the most intense part of the game and i was on the edge of my seat throughout the entire altercation#holding my breath both playthroughs
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i keep seeing posts about how the term "boundaries" is constantly misused to inflict rules on other people when boundaries "only relate to rules for yourself" which..... isnt true according to things ive discussed with my therapist? like yeah the overuse of medical terms as get out of jail free buzzwords is bad but also strict black or white rulings of a concept in a tweet or two is also bad, especially since i have not seen a damn one of these come from a credible source, either a mental health professional or like, clinical terminology sources
CONCRETE EXAMPLE where i set a boundary with roommates that required behavior changes on their part that my therapist named specifically as a boundary when i described it:
dishes are the biggest point of contention in basically any living situation with multiple people. my previous roommates were really bad at doing them, in a way that resulted the kitchen being really gross if i hadnt just cleaned it. even after many requests to do basic things of "empty the sink trap of soggy food so it doesn't rot" and "dont hoard dishes long enough to grow an ecosystem" over m o n t h s, i got nowhere with dishes being done regularly in a way that didnt bother me
in the end it was so continuously upsetting that i told them to not do the dishes at all ever whatsoever, i would take care it. mind, i was the only one who worked out of the house while commuting via bus as a chronically ill person with severe fatigue and i was putting in an average of 50 hrs a week every week for werks on end at the time. me deciding to take this on was not done lightly, this was me recognizing that it was better and healthier for all of us for me to take on this one task. it would result in me being much happier in that living situation at no real cost to the other party other than maybe the dishes would stack up a bit if i was particularly exhausted one day, but things would get caught up within the week
this did not go down well despite my best efforts, and i would not be surprised if this black and white portrayal of what boundaries are influenced that. this nonsense went down over like six solid months and every single session i had with my therapist had him absolutely baffled because he couldn't think of a single thing i could have done better
i am not a mh professional i do not know the specific difference between "dont do this thing it upsets me" and "dont do this thing that 'upsets' me because i am controlling you", but the blanket statement of calling something like this a boundary is misusing the term is black and white thinking. i have bpd, ive done some dbt about it and the first thing they teach you is how to spot black and white thinking because it us incredibly mal adaptive and *really fucking dangerous* and this specific trend is going to be taken advantage of by abusers just as much as coopting the use of "boundaries" to justify their behavior
tldr "boundaries are never about other people's behavior" and "you can't do xyz thing because it violates my boundaries" are two sides of the same abusive coin. people who have put in the work in a tangible and meaningful way, who are able to examine their motives and give grace to other people within their boundaries, can recognize that boundaries are a spectrum, like everything with social relationships and mental health in general
#mochi rambles#listen work has been absolute bullshit#like ungodly amounts of bullshit#i am so deep in bullshit i do not know how to deal with i have spent most of the eight days ive been back#absolutely screaming in a very literal sense#please note i returned last week after spending a week in the hospital because i almost died#it has not been a good month and i am fucking tired of these fucks who read one article about a thing#wnd feel confident making bullshit blanket statements#that then go viral#because people dont know the meaning of nuance#surprise!!!! turns out healthy approaches to interpersonal relationships have a lot of nuance#almost like people are individuals with individual needs qnd individual thoughts and individual histories#that impact how they interact with others and how they perceive others intents in their interactions#this is why black and white thinking is dangerous#more or less#im not a professional this is just what ive gathered from seeing mh pros pretty consistently for a decade#anyway im so fucking salty in general rn#but also specifically salty that i lost two friends i really cared about because their hang ups#resulted in my very genuine attempts to maintain a good relationship#being veiwed as abuse tactics#leading to them spreading slander to the same effect among other friends#who have subsequently dropped me#while me and my therapist over here in my standing bi werkly appointments are like wtf#and there has been so much of everything else that i have not had the brain to decide#if its worth the effort to try and convince people im not the bad guy#....... man i do not have enough time for all the therapy appointments i woukd really like to have#because fuck this year has been Something
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#one thing that I’ve discovered absolutely SUCKS about having a celebrity crush on someone pretty much no one knows#I need to scream about him#but there are literally four (4) people on earth who 1.) know who he is and 2.) are as obsessed with him as I am#anyway anyone wanna let me scream about Adam Dunn (The Actor) with them 👀#no one cares sage#adam dunn#elvis 2022#elvis (2022)#bill black
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there is a demon sitting on my shoulder, and everytime i see a picture of a parrot it whispers in my ear "once the renovations are done and your cats have their own designated room, you should get another parrot."
i absolutely should not get another parrot.
#genie was the absolute love of my life and i miss having a bird so so much#but i was younger and a lil less crippled when i had him than i am now#but idk#theres a rescue just a few towns over that always has birds who need homes#and im one of the very few people who actually has the know how and resources to care for a parrot#and i just miss having a bird man#Like i know pigeons and chickens are an option but a. i cant go outside very often and do not have the space for multiple birds inside#b. theyre just different animals#the extreme intelligence and personality of parrots is what I like about them and i dont mind screaming#ive got headphones and a long tolerance built up against it due to having a bird who#due to the six ish homes he had before me#screamed about five hours a day no matter what we tried to get him to not do that#like genie had some quirks but he was still an amazing bird#entries
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i got rickrolled today but it didn't work because i have adblocker installed, so youtube just told me i violated the terms of service. yesterday i was trying to edit a picture as a joke for my girlfriend, and google made me check a box to prove i'm human because i wasn't "searching normally".
it isn't just that capitalism is killing fun and whimsy, it is that any element of entertainment or joy is being fed upon by this mosquito body, one that will suck you dry at any vulnerability.
do you want to meet new friends in your city? download this app, visit our website, sign up for our email list. pay for this class on making a terrarium, on candlemaking, on cooking. it will be 90 dollars a session. you can go to group fitness, but only under our specific gym membership. solve the puzzle, sign up for our puzzle-of-the-month-club. what is a club if not just a paid opportunity - you are all paying for the same thing, which makes you a community.
but you're like me, i know it - you're careful, you try the library meetings and the stuff at the local school and all of that. the problem is that you kind of want really specific opportunities that used to exist. you are so grateful for libraries and the publicly-funded things: they are, however, an exception - and everything they have, they've fought tooth-and-nail to protect. you read a headline about how in many other states, libraries have virtually nothing left.
do you want to meet up with your friends afterwards? gift your friends the discord app. you can choose to go to a cafe (buy a coffee, at least), a bar (money, alcohol) or you can all stay in and catch a movie (streaming) or you can all stay in bed (rent. don't get me started) and scream (noise complaint. ticket at least).
you want to read a new book, but the book has to have 124 buzzwords from tiktok readers that are, like, weirdly horny. you can purchase this audiobook on audible! your podcast isn't on spotify, it's on its own server, pay for a different site. fuck, at least you're supporting artists you like. the art museum just raised their ticket price. once, they had a temporary exhibit that acknowledged that ~85% of their permanent art galleries were from cis white men, and that they had thousands of works by women (even famous women, like frida! georgia o'keefe!) just rotting in their basement. that exhibit lasted for 3 months and then they put everything away again.
walmart proudly supports this strip of land by the street! here are some flowers with wilting leaves. its employees have to pay out-of-pocket for their uniforms. my friend once got fined by the city because she organized a community pick-up of the riverfront, which was technically private property.
no, you cannot afford to take that dance class, neither can i. by the way - i'm a teacher. i'm absolutely not saying "educators shouldn't be paid fairly." i'm saying that when i taught classes, renting a studio went from 20 bucks an hour to 180 in the span of 6 months. no significant changes to the studio were made, except they now list the place as updated and friendly. the heat still doesn't work in the building. i have literally never seen the landlord who ignores my emails. recently they've been renting it out at night as an "unusual nightclub; a once-in-a-lifetime close-knit party." they spent some of those 180 dollars on LEDs and called it renovating. the high heels they invite in have been ruining the marley.
do you want to experience the old internet? do you want to play flash games or get back the temporary joy of club penguin? you can, you just need to pay for it. i have a weird, neurodivergent obsession with occasionally checking in to watch the downfall and NFT-ification of neopets. if i'm honest with you all - i never got into webkins, my family didn't have the money to buy me a pointless elephant. people forget that "being poor" can mean literally "if i buy you that toy, i can't afford rent."
you and i don't have time to make good food, and we don't have the budget for it. we are not gonna be able to host dinner parties, we're not made of money, kid. do you want some kind of 3rd space? a space that isn't home or work or school? you could try being online, but - what places actually exist for you? tiktok counts as social media because you see other people on it, not because they actually talk to you.
there was a local winter tradition of sledding down the hill at my school. kids would use pizza boxes and jackets and whatever worked, howling and laughing. back in september, they made a big announcement that this time, rules were changing, and everyone must pay 10 dollars to participate. when im not scared shitless, i kind of appreciate the environmental irony - it hasn't gone below 40. so much for snow & joyriding.
i saw a bulletin for a local dogwalking group and, nervous about making a good first impression, showed up early. the first guy there grimaced at me. "sorry," he said. "there's a 30-dollar buy-in fee." i thought he was joking. wait. for what? the group doesn't offer anything except friendship and people with whom to walk around the city.
he didn't know the answer. just shrugged at me. "you know," he said. "these days, everything costs money."
#spilled ink#warm up#“why did u tag it warm up” bc i wrote it off the cuff while drinkin coffee lol#btw the 30 dollar buy in for the dog walking is bc they pay the organizer a small pittance so she can#run fb ads and stuff and like she does put in a lot of work i don't mind paying her#but that's exactly what im fucking talking about like.#ppl can't afford to volunteer their time anymore and we all understand it!!! everything costs money for everyone!#like we didn't have to use to say ''do you mind paying me back for the stuff we ate''#we used to be able to afford to feed our friends once in a while!!!
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hi!! could you write smut of sukuna w/ corruption kink x clingy reader? i need to see more of them 🤭🤭
𝝑𝑒 𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐒. true form!sukuna x concubine! female reader. smut, pwp. corruption kink. reader is described as clingy cute / innocent. voyeurism?// exhibitionism. double pénetràtion. cowgirl. cream pies. nicknames ‘slut, brat, woman’. combined 2 requests :3
it’s honestly your own fault. you’ve been sticking around sukuna the entire day, clinging onto him like he won’t let you experience the consequences of your own actions.
“eyes on me, brat,” sukuna scoffs, thumb and index roughly turning your chin back. he needs to see your face as he embarrasses you in front of the guests and other concubines standing around the throne.
you’re supposed to feel regret, yet you’re drowning in a state of pure lust. it’s the thrill that keeps your hips going, the ache in them temporarily ignored as you search for that grande moment of euphoria.
you can’t care less about the humans at the bottom of the stairs. they’re grovelling in fear of the king of curses, knowing their heads can fly off if they dare to look up at you two.
it’s a sign of disrespect—a sign that the king of curses can’t care less about what those lowlifes have come to see him for. sukuna’s doing so on purpose, using your clinginess to his advantage.
“hah, what a total slut of a concubine,” sukuna scoffs, leaning his head against one of his hands, elbow propped onto the armrest. this is a punishment for you, though it certainly does not feel like that. even if all attendants in the room can hear you fucking yourself silly on sukuna’s dicks.
you and those sloppy sounds of your two bodies connecting.
you try to hold back your moans, but a rough yank to your hair instantly opens your mouth again. your eyes roll back and your voice spews out. “mhh, my lord—‘s too much,” you whimper, however your body doesn’t stop bouncing on his cocks. sukuna responds by squeezing your middle while he watches his lengths being swallowed by your cunt and ass.
it’s funny how you’ve been reduced to a mess—a toy he can command to do whatever he pleases. your clinginess secretly pleases him, because it reassures him that you’ll do what’s asked of you. sukuna grins lazily, letting you work for it, “too much? tsk. weren’t you the one begging f’ my attention, brat?”
he does have a point. you nod mindlessly whilst his cocks drill into you—leaving no hole empty. your eyes dart to both sides of the throne, where two concubines are situated. you can see them tremble in embarrassment and envy.
sukuna’s showing you off to everyone and they don’t like it; none of the concubines do. they hate the fact that he chose you to show off to everyone else in the room. like you’re the only trophy he’s proud of.
the guests don’t dare to speak either. nor does uraume, who’s politely looking the other way as their master ravages his favorite little concubine. they’re used to his acts of exercising his power.
sukuna keeps a firm grip on your hair, threatening to pull your head back each time you dare look around you. “you have no shame. absolutely zero,” the king of curses says condescendingly. as if the humiliation of being watched isn’t enough, sukuna’s words add to the embarrassment you’re feeling, “cock hungry slut can’t go a minute without being filled, hm?”
your whimpers get louder and your pace grows faster. his fat tips hit your deepest parts over and over again, the stretch threatening to split you in half. you’re too turned on to care. the way sukuna’s staring at you with that menacing glare—his sharp nails digging into your skin so painfully . . . you need it all.
“this ‘s why you’ve been following me ‘round all day long,” sukuna grunts—one hand coming up to free your breasts from the confines of your robes, “y’ just needed to be dicked down.” the flicks against your stiff nipples make you tighten up around his cocks again and again.
you’re nearly screaming because of everything your senses are picking up on. your half lidded eyes catch a glimpse of sukuna’s cocky facial expression and you’re almost pushed over the edge. he’s so smug—knowing he has you in the palm of his hand.
his eyes are luring you in. there’s a hint of something so primal in there - a beast impatiently waiting to be unleashed - one that sukuna is trying his best to suppress.
“aren’t you just cute. . .” sukuna mocks with a dangerous chuckle. his thumb rubs your bottom lip before slipping into your mouth for you to suckle on.
“kehehe, isn’t that what those servants call you? cute.. innocent.. adorable,” he continues, faintly groaning at the feeling of your tongue swirling around his thumb. sukuna cocks his head to the right and your eyes follow. that’s where you spot your maids and lady-in-waiting in a corner.
you feel tears well up in your eyes from both pleasure and humiliation. everyone is seeing and hearing you being claimed by the monster of a curse you’re riding. your maids have always adored your innocence—how you don’t seem to be tainted by sukuna’s advances no matter what. it’s a first to them.
it has been a rumor around the estate for so long; you being the only concubine who can withstand sukuna’s wicked influence. you always seem to stay yourself, your cheery and sweet personality never changing. you’ve been known as the innocent one among all other concubines.
yet here those same maids are, watching your brain being corrupted by sin. you’re so sinfully enjoying how sukuna’s cocks are penetrating you. “n-no, am—fnghh—don’t wanna,” you stammer, speaking to no one in particular. your inner desires clash with your rational mind and your body seems to continue its erotic act.
“don’t you fight it, woman,” sukuna brings your attention back by thrusting his cocks all the way up inside you, balls slapping harshly against your ass. he’s proud with his accomplishments. you’re slowly but surely being tainted by him and it’s so pleasing.
soon enough, that damned innocence of yours is going to disappear. he’s going to turn you into a total slut driven by lust, for him and only him. he’s going to ruin you and your body until all you can think of is the pleasure he can give you.
your nails dig into sukuna’s shoulders. you moan loudly, losing the battle, as expected. the king of curses just knows how to make you give in. he takes great pleasure in seeing you lose yourself, with everyone watching how he strips you from that innocence.
“stupid, nasty fuckin’ thing,” sukuna grunts as the lower pair of his arms hold you by your hips. he halts your movements before starting his own. “y’re mine, ya hear?” he pounds up into you—making you mewl. a chant of his name leaves your lips. you simply cannot stop yourself.
“yes, ‘m yours, my lord!” you moan for everyone to hear. the pink-haired man grins in satisfaction and quickly plunges his cocks in and out of your holes, needing to release himself so he could fully claim you as his in front of the rest.
his dirty cumslut, his tainted and brainless doll.
sukuna wraps all four arms around you, leaving no room for escape. he presses you against him until you’re struggling to breathe. your head is pushed against his shoulder and your insides are being turned into mush. the gooey fluids drip down onto the throne and down the floor.
“fuck. not a drop goes to waste or i’m fuckin’ ya again,” sukuna warns before shooting loads of cum into your womb and up your ass. both your holes are stuffed full of white, sticky semen mixed with your own release. you desperately clench around nothing once sukuna pulls you off his dicks.
you try to reach your hands out towards him as he manoeuvres your body away once he’s finished. the king of curses pins your wrists at your back so he can turn you around on his thighs, forcefully spreading your legs like a trophy he’s showing off on his throne.
one arm wraps around your waist and his chin rests on your right shoulder. sukuna keeps you on his lap and continues to act like he didn’t just completely wreck your insides.
while you’re left in the intense moment, he seems to have moved on already.
“speak,” sukuna orders the humans who’ve witnessed the whole ordeal. their foreheads are stuck on the floor—none of them daring to look up at the sight, like everyone else.
you’re panting and your head is spinning. you’re totally spent. sukuna holds your limp body up on his lap as one hand is busy scooping the excess cum back into your pussy, not wasting a drop like said before.
one of the villagers finally speaks up, stating the reason for their visit to the estate. their voice is muffled due to a loud buzzing in your ear. you’re tired and can’t focus on what’s said either. you just want to sleep. . . in sukuna’s warm embrace, filled and half-naked, for the entire room to see as they continue discussing business as if you’re not even there.
#sttoru writes.#jjk smut#jjk x reader#sukuna smut#sukuna x reader#ryomen sukuna smut#jjk x you#jjk x y/n#sukuna x you#sukuna x y/n
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