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RealAge AU Drabble - Parentalbond Dust
I am back :3 Another drabble for the RealAge AU (Thanks @spotaus as always for starting this treat by treating me to the first prompt that got this ball rolling)
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Remember how in the last drabble I uploaded i mentioned those parentalbonds? (honestly if you read my drabbles in order these before things won't make ANY kind of sense... anyway!)
I had been thinking about how all of them bond with they new tiny boss and finally settles on how. The question then was. Who goes first?
I decided to go in order of who bonded with Nightmare first :3
So, big surprise. Dust. (everyone was surprised by this)
Warnings as always, unedited and unbeta'ed. We are here for a good and fun time.
Slight warning for Ghost/hallucination Papyrus being rude and mean and intrusive thoughts.
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Dust can admit that Nightmare is fast. Dust is just faster, by a lot.
As soon as Nightmare shifts Dust has an arm around him and drags him back to his side.
Nightmare glares at him, and it would have been terrifying and effective.
If Nightmare wasn't tiny.
Fuck DUst is still not over how TINY his boss is now.
Can Dust even still call him boss? That would be weird. Kiler tends to call Nightmare Tiny Boss now but Dust isn't quite set on a name yet.
Nightmare grumbles nad glares to the side once it becomes clear once again that Dust isn't going to get intimidated.
Nightmare glances at him before crossing his arms as he looks to the side "This is stupid."
Dust nods "I agree." Dust did not want to be here just watching Nightmare and keeping him from wandering and getting lost.
A cackle and then a whisper Really? First kidnaping and now keeping him a prisoner? How low you have sunk. Keeping a child captured and locked away.
Dust's hand forms a fist as he tries to ignore the muttering. They just need Nightmare to see he can trust them. That is all. That takes time. The chackle just chackles on.
Nightmare shoots him a look "It is stupid. I don't need supervision. I am fine on my own."
Dust goes to nod before blinking and shooting him a look "Yeah no. Nice try. I am staying right here."
Nightmare looks beyond annoyed but it is justified that one of them watches over him. Mostly because Nightmare had already managed to almost escape three times.
Look, it has been an hectic week since they euh... found Nightmare again.
Even more laughter that no one else hears Oh? That is what you call it now? That is what you call stalking a child? Following him everywhere? Finding out where he feels safest and surprising him there? Hah! Found! You are a liar and you even lie to yourself.
Dust glares harder at the dark wall as he pulls his knees up and leans on those as he watches the wall, still being a physical barrier between Nightmare and the door.
Nightmare glares at him but Dust just keeps glaring at the shedwall. Waiting. Hoping one of the others will come to relieve him of this babysitting duty. He hates it. He feels useless and stuck.
A huff Wow? Really? You decided to capture him and now you are annoyed you have to watch your prisoner? And even better the one you captured was the one to save you before? You really are thankless and impossible to please. You will never be happy or content and you don't deserve to feel other of those things.
Dust takes another deep breath. He needs a distraction. But what?!
Dust takes out his phone and scrolls through what he has on there. He sees a few movies and gets an idea.
He needs to wait while the others get supplies anyway. Cross is getting information about the multiverse, Horror is getting them food and Killer is getting them overall supplies.
Which means they should still be busy for a while.
Dust pauses as he shoots Nightmare a look. Nightmare had just been sitting there staring at his own feet as he wiggles his feet a bit. Distracted for a bit.
Dust grins as he reaches for Nightmare and quickly grabs him.
Nightmare immediantly freezes for a moment before glaring "What?!"
Dust grins and just turns him around and his old hoody that Nightmare had taken and stolen ages ago. and as Nightmare has his arms crossed he puts the hoody on him. He yelps but Dust doens't give him time to try and get his arms in the right sleeves. Instead Dust ties those together.
He thinks for a moment before grabbing his scarf and using that to tie up the slippery skeleton.
Dust takes a step back to watch his handy work and can't help but snort.
Nightmare looks shocked down at his state. The hoody already making it harder for him to move and now the scarf kept him even more from moving. The problem was. With Nightmare just being tiny and looking like a babybones... He looks plainly adorable. Fuck Dust kinda wished he had made a bow instead of a knot but he has a mission.
Dust nods and looks at Nightmare "Don't move. I am going to grab some food." He turns and leaves the shed.
It should take Nightmare at least a little while to escape that situation. And Nightmare hadn't tried another teleport after he butchered the last one and got them all thrown into a river. Which means that Dust doubts he will try another one soon.
Dust follows the road and by memory finds the pizza place they walked by not too long ago. He only has to wait for a little while before a delivery boy goes by on bike. He kicks off the guy and snatches the bag. Dust is already in the bushes again before the human has time to form a completely sentence.
Dust has to take a bit of a longer way back to make sure he doesn't go over the road. But as he cuts through backyards and gardens he can't help but feel a bit anxious. What if Nightmare escapes? How is he going to explain that.
By the time he is by the shed again he is close to shaking. He opens it and snorts as Nightmare seems to have fallen over. Less funny is the fact he has almost wiggled his way out of his trappings.
Dust puts the bag to the side and silently joins Nightmare's side "And? Is it working?"
Nightmare freezes before a mutter "I hate you."
That.
Dust isn't sure how to explain how much that hurts.
A sneer Really? Are your poor feelings hurt? By just that? What? Are you sad your so-called boss finally hates you? After all the disappointment and betrayal? And yet you feel sad? You truly are nothing but disgusting and disapointing trash.
Dust ignores it as he pulls Nightmare back upright and undoes the scarf binding and unknots the sleeves. Dust has already helped Nightmare with getting on of his arms into the right sleeve before Dust realises what he is doing.
Dust freezes and Nightmare ignores him as he quickly finishes dressing himself. After which Nightmare glances at him with an expecting look.
Dust instead just sits down on his spot on the ground. Opens the bag and fishes out the food. Oh nice. two pizzas instead of one. He lays both open near him before spotting some weird shake things, three of them. Dust shrugs again and places them near them. Next he grabs Nightmare again and pulls him right by his side as he opens his phone and scrolls through the movies.
Dust very quickly realises he deosn't really have movies without a high rating on his phone.Dust isn't even sure how far Nightmare's mind is at the moment.
Dust knows that Nightmare knows who they are. But Dust doens't know how old Nightmare is mentally at the moment. It isn't like Nightmare is sharing any of that information with them at the moment but Dust thinks he is at least a child again. He just also still has his adult form's memories and that is causing a bit of a disconnect.
Dust sighs and looks at Nightmare "Do you like horror movies?"
Nightmare shoots him a suspicious look before answering "I don't dislike them. They can be..." a frown as Ngihtmare thinks for a while before answering with some difficulty "interesting."
That was another thing that is slightly adorable. Nightmare is trying to still speak like he used to before but it seems that some of his knowledge has disappeared after regaining his true body.
Dust nods as he puts on the horror movie. It is one he thinks is okay even after seeing it four times. And only one of those four was because Dust had wanted to watch it.
He presses play and the movie starts.
Nightmare at first tries to keep his distance but it is a matter of time before he is focussed fully on the movie.
Dust grabs some food and eats it. He makes sure it push some towards Nightmare including one of the drinks.
The movie plays and they watch as some dude bro guy walks through the froest. Shouting about how he isn't scared and to come get him!
"... Why?"
Dust blinks and looks at Nightmare. Nightmare stares at him.
Dust looks back at his phone and the now paused movie "Why the guy is screaming? Mostly he is stupid?"
Nightmare frowns beofre looking away "No. I mean... Why.... this?"
Dust looks at the pizza and his phone "I just wanted to watch a movie?"
More frustration on Nightmare's face before he sighs. He then just looks back at the phone with a resigned expression. "okay."
Dust hates that. No. That isn't right. Nightmare doesn't give up and certainly doesn't give up getting answers to questions he has. Dust doesn't press play and looks at Nightmare "What why?"
Ngihtmare glances to the side. To all their things. "You don't... want to be here... with me. Why..."
Dust frowns "I told you? To make sure you don't escape."
More frustration on that tiny face and Ngihtmare looks away "it's not..." another sigh "whatever. When will you kill me?"
dead silence.
Dust turns sharply "What?!"
Nightmare shrugs "I figured... I wanne know."
Dust stares at Nightmare "What the hell? No we don't want you dead?! Why would we go out of our way to find you just to hurt and kill you?!"
Nightmare sits very still before shrugging again "it is the normal thing... normally."
The book. The fucking story. Fuck! He is a fucking idiot!
Nightmare is a child again! Nightmare is in the middle of his fucking trauma! To him the trauma happened days ago! Of course he thinks they would hurt him. That is what always happens.
How long has Nightmare thought that was the only reason anyone ever came to him? How long had a six year old have to fear the sound of someone approaching.
Dust looks away "We... aren't going to kill you... or hurt you." but... why would he beleive his words? Why would he believe anything any of them say after they arleady betrayed him once?
"okay."
It didn't sound like an okay in the way that he heard and believed what Dust said. it was an okay in the sense of a child being afraid to disagree.
Fuck.
Dust isn't sure how to... how to fix this mess. The mess he had partly created. He isn't even sure this can be fixed...
Dust glances back at him and speaks quieter "I mean it... we aren't going to hurt you. We don't want that." wait... he never... "I am sorry."
a long silence but he forces more out "we shouldn't have left. I shouldn't have left. I just... figured it wasn't my place anymore. I was wrong. I am sorry i left you." and it won't happen again.
Even just saying those things. Apologising. Dust feels lighter. It feels good. He needed Nightmare ot hear that Dust now realises.
Ngihtmare doens't say anything about it but does relax a tiny bit next to him. A very very fragile and tiny show of trust and Dust wants to grab it with both hands but he does't know how!
For now he turns the movie on again and makes sure the babybones is near him and eating and drinking.
Dust isn't even watching the movie anymore. He just listens out in case there is anyone who will try to hurt Nightmare or tempt this uneasy peace they have managed to create.
THe movie plays on and Dsut suddenly feels a weight against him. He turns and stares. Because Nightmare is asleep while leaning against him. Out like a light.
It doesn't even surprise Dust. As Dust doubts that Nightmare slept at all in this last week. Maybe even not before they took him with them.
Dust can't help but notice the very dark marks under those sockets. clear sighs of lack of sleep.
Dust moves slowly and carefully as he picks Nightmare up and puts him in his lap. Fuck he is freezing. Dust wraps his own hoody around him and it helps him relax.
He is safe. He is asleep. And while getting Ngihtmare to trust them again will be a long time and healing will be even longer... For now Dust is happy with his arms full of babybones.
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#RealAgeAU#deaged nightmare#utmv#fanfic#drabble#Nightmare sans#Dust sans#bad sanses#Okay that are the necessary ones for now#And that is how Dust SpeedRun the character development to start feeling like Nightmare is his babybones.#Congrats Dust#You are a parent now#the baby is nightmare#You may eventually need to learn how to share this right#also yes from this day onwards Dust pretty much demanded to have babysitting duty#turns out when it is YOUR kid it is fine#the others EVENTUALLY caught on to what was going on#mostly after they completed their own parent speedrun#that is is for now
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we are one
Characters: Trey, Ruggie, Rook, Sebek
Synopsis: You shared a night of passion with your lover before you left for the other side of the mirror, but fate's cruel hands strike once again as you realise you have to raise his child alone in your original world. Thankfully, your child is incredibly drawn to magic, and they opened a portal...?
Tags: slight angst, fluffy end because im a sap, fem reader, reader gives birth to a child, reunions
Word count: 4.5k+
Notes: im sorry this took so long lol, but part 4 is finally here!!
Part 1✧Part 2✧Part 3✧Masterlist
A few months passed as you settled back into your routine at home. Eventually, with the noticeable changes in your body, it dawned on you that you were with child—his child, your lover from the other side of the mirror whom you could no longer reach.
Days turned into weeks, and weeks turn into months. You had adapted to the trials and tribulations of parenthood. Juggling the responsibilities of work, childcare, and household chores was no easy feat, but you found solace in the small moments of your child's growth and development.
Your child was a true joy to behold, a mirror image of their father in many ways, and you often see the ghost of your past lover in them. Having inherited his magic, your child experimented with their powers, leaving you to support them with what limited knowledge of magic that remained from your NRC days.
On one such experiment, your environment started to shift as a wave of magical energy engulfed you. When you opened your eyes again, he was there, right in front of you—
Shizuka (靜菓) with 静 meaning "quiet, still, calm" and 菓 meaning "confectionery, sweets, pastry"
your daughter had silky green hair the colour of fresh matcha and golden yellow eyes that were reminiscent of fresh honey
you named your daughter after her father's dislike of noise and his culinary abilities that never failed to amaze the whole of Heartslabyul
she's rather a quiet child, not very loud but too quiet either
she gets along with other kids perfectly fine, and she doesn't mind sharing or taking a step back at all, always choosing to go with the flow and not get worked up over small things
honestly she's really a mature kid
also just really good at being a peacekeeper and stopping other kids from getting into big fights
buut she does have a mischievous side and may tease her friends when she's in the mood to
at home, she's pretty obedient and will listen to you, but there are moments when she sneaks around
loves helping you with cooking, and her eyes sparkle when she's baking with you
she loves sweets and desserts, but thanks to your warnings about her dental health, she does stop herself from eating too much sugar
is slightly freaked out about cavities so don't you worry, she'll never need any reminding about brushing her teeth or late night snacks
when it comes to school, she doesn't put in too much effort, but you can tell she'd be excellent if she cared more about her grades
which is clearly shown when fixates on learning magic, always so focused that you'll have to call her twice before she snaps out of her trance
you can't blame her for giving it her all though, after all, you've never seen her more excited than when you told her how amazing a person her father is, calm and soothing like a gentle summer rain
once she puts her heart to it, there's really no stopping her
so on another normal evening, as you were cooking dinner while she was studying on the kitchen counter, you found yourself enveloped by a soft light
when you open your eyes, you find yourself standing outside a charming bakery, the fragrance of roses engulfing your senses
and peering through the bakery windows, was the man you had yearned for all these years
It was just a normal day of running the bakery for Trey. With the sun on the verge of setting, he began preparations for closing, when the soft chime of the bell announced a new customer's arrival. He turned around, catching sight of you. His eyes widened in surprise, mirroring the disbelief in your own.
Before words could be exchanged, Trey rushed past the counter. The warmth of his embrace enveloped you as he pulled you close. The years melted away, and the two of you were transported back to a time when you always had each other.
"Is this real?" he wondered aloud, your hearts pounding in sync.
You nodded into his shoulder, tears flowing freely down your cheeks. He pulled back slightly, brushing away your tears as his gaze softened, a warm smile gracing his lips.
"It's been a long time," he whispered. "I missed you so much."
he's just holding you tight, crying as he thanks the heavens for being so lucky to have you in his life again
trey returned to his hometown after graduation, helping out and eventually inheriting the family bakery
he loved incorporating your favourite foods into the store's selection, adding some new desserts from your world that you taught him, and always reminiscing on those tender moments when it was just the two of you in the kitchen
he always knew you had to go home eventually, but that didn't stop him from wishing you could be his life-long partner, supporting each other through thick and thin
so he's beyond grateful and excited to know you and his daughter(?!) shared the feelings even though you were apart
he's rather surprised about said daughter, but there would be no denying how similar they looked
shizuka is a bit nervous, tugging your skirt as she stares curiously at her supposed father
but Trey very quickly makes her feel at home, his warm smiles and even warmer hugs melting away all her nervousness!
he closes the bakery for a few days to help the two of you settle down a bit
this involves reunions with friends and of course, the clover family, who welcome you and their granddaughter with open arms
the clovers are just really really glad their son finally has someone in his life and that he seems a lot more energised now
Shizuka is very quickly introduced to uncle riddle!! who is very surprised but delighted by the behaving little girl who seems to stick to him a lot
uncle deuce and ace also get along with her wonderfully!! especially when Shizuka wants to play around with riddle for a bit hahaha
don't forget uncle cater who flies instantly to meet his new adorable niece and show her off on magicam!!
the three of you settle into a nice rhythm and you help out trey at the bakery now
Trey is very very affectionate with you always, pecking you on the cheek or nuzzling into your neck any chance he can get
Shizuka loves helping out whenever she can too!! she loves learning from her papa and sometimes will just spend hours watching him work
all in all, a blissful, simple family that Trey had always dreamed of, but never would he have believed he was so blessed to have the two of you come back to him
Trey gazed at the young girl, her silky green hair catching the light in a way that seemed surreal. With a heart full of emotions, he approached her hesitantly, his eyes shimmering with unshed tears.
"Shizuka, was it?" he spoke softly, the name lingering on his lips like a prayer. "It's so nice to meet you."
Shizuka's gaze flickered from Trey to you, seeking reassurance. With a gentle nod from you, she turned her attention back to him, her eyes studying him intently.
Trey knelt to her level, his heart racing. "I know this might be a lot to take in, but I'm your father."
She took a small step forward, cautious but curious. Trey extended his hand tentatively, offering a warm smile. Without a word, Shizuka reached out, placing her small hand in his.
A soft smile graced her lips, mirroring the warmth reflected in Trey's eyes. With a tentative but genuine embrace, Trey enveloped his daughter in his arms, tears cascading down his cheeks. Shizuka, feeling the sincerity in his embrace, wrapped her arms around him as well, a sense of belonging beginning to bloom within her.
Kenji (賢至) with 賢 meaning "intelligence, wisdom, cleverness" and 至 meaning "to arrive at, to reach, to come to"
Kenji (賢至) with 賢 meaning "intelligence, wisdom, cleverness" and 至 meaning "to arrive at, to reach, to come to"
your son had the softest hair the colour of wheat, and blue eyes that reminded you of cloudy skies
you named your son after how clever his father was, and his endless determination to reach his goals
he's a really sweet kid, always eager to help around and even others when he notices they're in need
you've heard about the many experiences his father had when he grew up, so you've tried your hardest to make sure Kenji wouldn't have to go through them, knowing it's what your hyena would've wanted
but even then, he's never complained about not having enough, there's a subtle wisdom to him that really mirrors his father
though he differs from him in that he's always willing to share, because he knows not everyone can be so lucky
he may not be too good at haggling prices, but his puppy dog eyes work just as well!
he loves doing chores with you, always smiling and laughing that familiar laugh as he helps you sweep the floor while he tells you about his day
he loves cuddles and kisses!!! his favourite part of the day is climbing into your warm bed to wrap his arms around you, asking you for a goodnight kiss and sometimes even bedtime stories
his ears and tails are a bit of a problem, so you keep his hair a bit long to hide the ears, or just say they're fun accessories
you've told him how his father's determination to support his family and community shined through even in unfortunate circumstances, the resourceful and intelligent man he became and you fell in love with
his blue-grey eyes almost resembled a clear sky when he listened to you, asking you more and more questions about this amazing person
he'll try learning more to be like him, but his kind nature stops him from being too schemey
he's not exactly academic weapon material, but he's pretty quick at absorbing information and putting it into practice
and with lots of determination and practice, he somehow manages to manifest the very thing the two of you wanted, and before your eyes was the man who never failed to make you laugh with him
As Ruggie's eyes adjusted, your figure slowly came into focus, revealing the very person who took his heart with them. "Prefect...?" He whispered, his voice a mix of disbelief and overwhelming joy.
His usually carefree expression shifted to one of disbelief, and then a bittersweet smile spread across his face as the tears welled up in his eyes. Without a second thought, he rushed towards you, sweeping you into a tight embrace.
"You're here... You're really here, right?" Ruggie mumbled, his voice choked with emotion.
You nodded furiously, comfort washing over you at his touch. "Yes, Ruggie, it's real. I'm really here."
His hand reached up to thread his fingers through your hair, cupping the back of your head. "I'm so glad... So, so glad..."
he's holding onto you as tightly as he can, so afraid that you'd disappear into the light if he let you loose for even a bit
after graduation, Ruggie followed leona to become his official attendant, what with him knowing how leona likes to get things done, and his ability to pick up etiquette cues
he's also a great information gatherer, so he's perfectly able to assist leona with his foreign affairs
it's leona's voice that finally breaks the two of you out of your trance, him rushing over to investigate that weird light
the two of you pull back and you almost wouldn't notice it, but leona's smile has softened a bit from the image you had in your memory
Ruggie never expected himself to be a father, and things are going a bit faster than he'd like, but there's no denying he's absolutely grateful to have you and your kid at his side
almost immediately the next day, he takes you back to his hometown so you and Kenji can meet grandma and the neighbourhood
grandma bucchi welcomes the two of you so warmly, she even gets a little teary eyed when she sees Kenji, with him looking so similar to the very hyena she raised
leona and Ruggie delegate a room for you in the side palace, where they also live, so you'll be able to see familiar faces often
Kenji loves following his father around, picking up his mannerisms and wanting to learn more about being more schemey
Ruggie's a bit conflicted his angel of a son wants to learn his ways but even he can't deny those puppy dog eyes
uncle leona and guard jack also love spending time with him! though one of them pretends it's annoying
leona shows him magic tricks and jack will teach him how to fight! he'll be getting great lessons all around
Kenji is very eager to learn more and explore this world, so sometimes you'll have to hold him back a bit just in case he gets hurt
but you suppose with the splendid man his father is, you don't have to worry too much
Ruggie's schedule can be a bit hectic and he pulls a lot of late nights, but he always tries to make time for his family
they're the most precious thing to him in the entire world, did you think he'd let them go that easily?
"Dad!" Kenji exclaimed, darting over to grasp at the fabric of Ruggie's pants. "You're my dad, right?"
Ruggie blinked in disbelief, shifting his gaze towards you. "Is... Is he?" he asked, hope saturating his voice.
You affirmed with a nod, and Ruggie redirected his attention to Kenji. "Yeah... I'm your dad..."
Instantly, Kenji wrapped his arms around Ruggie's legs. "Yay! I've always wanted to meet you, Dad!"
Ruggie couldn't help but marvel in awe at the bundle of joy now clinging to his legs, realizing that this spirited kid was the product of your love.
Ayaka (斐佳) with 斐 meaning "elegance, beauty, grace" and 華 meaning "flower, splendour, brilliance"
Ayato (斐斗) with 斐 meaning "elegance, beauty, grace" and 杜 meaning "forest, grove, woods"
maybe a part of you should have expected it, with how unpredictable your beloved hunter always has been, but you ended up having to raise twins
the two had luscious golden locks that rivalled sunlight and sharp green eyes akin to the forests in the summer
you named the two of them after their father's love for all things beauty and his love for forests and nature
the two are well-behaved children, though they can be surprisingly sneaky and mischievous
Ayaka is more outgoing and is always fascinated by the pretty things in her vicinity
while Ayato is more introverted and quiet, often silently following his younger sister and nodding along to her ramblings
he definitely appreciates beauty, but he's less vocal about it
and whereas Ayaka is more fascinated by gems and cute plushies, Ayato is more interested in nature, finding beauty in the moss, the trees and the insects
the siblings are just really really curious about the world and they love observing the little details, from catching beetles to keep as pets, to planting flowers they found on a hike
they really do reflect your hunter's wide range of appreciation
the twins love sticking to each other and they're rarely arguing
though they do fight a bit over who helped you more with chores or who you love more
they're very helpful and efficient, and though they may complain about not wanting to work because the other twin is lazing, they'll still get the job done
they love watching tv shows and dramas, often acting out scenes in the shows or in fairytales
and oh the way their eyes sparkled when you told the fascinating man their father was, a man who could control his own heartbeat, keep track of time so accurately, and with such incredible eyesight, who devoted himself to spreading joy and beauty
almost immediately they doubled their efforts in studying, wanting desperately to meet the man to learn his ways and see for themselves just how interesting he is
and just like that, the dazzling light gradually subsided, unveiling a world that you thought only existed in your dreams
you remember the villa, it's where he took you on vacation for the first, and supposedly last time
You hesitantly knocked on the weathered wooden door of the villa, the echoes of your anticipation mingling with the rustle of leaves in the gentle breeze. As the door creaked open, memories flooded back to the first time you entered this place with the man who had captured your heart.
Rook's usual stoic expression shifted, replaced by a mix of surprise and unspoken emotions. "Mon amour... You're really here," he murmured, his voice a tender whisper that hung in the air. Without uttering a single word, he enfolded you in an embrace, as though afraid you might slip away like a fleeting dream.
"I missed you so much," you whispered back the tears flowing freely now that you've felt as you savour the warmth of his touch and the comforting scent of his cologne.
He pulled back, soft brushes of his fingers wiping your tears, his eyes lingering on your face as if trying to capture the essence of the time that had passed. "I missed you too, so dearly..." he admitted as tears threatened to spill from his eyes, a rare vulnerability in his gaze.
this was the most emotion you'd seen from him, even when you said goodbye he kept a smile on his face
he's holding you so delicately, as if you were going to fade away if he applied just a bit more pressure
he's surprised by the children, but he instantly warms up to the idea!
he's remained a pursuer of beauty even after graduation, sponsoring artists while he makes a living through hunting and his film critique
he was taking a break in the family villa for old times sake, but it's almost as if the universe planned it all along
he's very affectionate with you, even more so than before, which you didn't even know was possible
always a warm hand on your waist, an occasional peck on your cheek, and every once in a while he'll feel the urge to pull you in for a hug
he tries to do everything for you so you don't even have to lift a finger, breakfast in bed, waking the children, even cooking and cleaning
he loves spending time with the twins!! teaching the two of them how to hunt and explore the forest safely
he'll show them pretty plants, and interesting fungi, all while explaining what properties they might have and whether or not they're poisonous
the twins are so fascinated by everything, their excitement and energy are seemingly endless
and who's a father to deny his children? he spoils them rotten
he also loves showing the kids a certain idol he's supported...
as well as films of vil!! occasionally talking over the movie to express how perfect a scene is or how flawless his acting is
and when the twins get to meet the vil schoenheit, they're beyond thrilled
asking questions, throwing compliments, all directed towards vil, but they're quiet the moment he tells them to shush
uncle vil loves talking to his niece and nephew, but only when they're... calm
uncle epel also loves popping by and giving the twins some apples so they'll get proper nutrition!
really, you'll have to step in to prevent your kids from being spoiled rotten
but you'll indulge Rook for a while, he's just blissfully happy with his family after all
"Are these...?" he began, his voice trailing off as he looked at the children with a mix of awe and wonder.
"Ours," you answered, a gentle smile gracing your lips as you delicately wiped away the tears that had welled up in your eyes. "Meet Ayato and Ayaka."
The hunter knelt down to their eye level, his usual face softening into a loving. "Ayato, Ayaka," he said, his voice gentle, "It's so nice to meet you. I'm your father."
The children exchanged glances before Ayaka stepped forward. "Hello father!" she exclaimed, throwing her tiny arms around him.
Ayato, the quieter one, followed suit with a nod, a shy smile on his face.
The hunter embraced them both, a warmth in his eyes that spoke volumes. "Such angels... Mon amour what a blessing you've granted me...," he sighed as he held them close.
Atsuki (惇貴) with 惇 meaning "sincerity, loyalty" and 貴 meaning "precious, valuable, honourable"
your son had curly hair with the softest shade of light green, and piercing golden eyes with slits that reminded you of reptiles
you named your son after the chivalrous values his father had devoted his life to
he's a rather loud and excitable child, always forgetting to control his volume when he gets too emotional
doesn't really get along with other kids, but it doesn't affect him much, he's just happy to have his mama with him
if he's done something wrong, you don't even need to yell at him really, most of the time he's already holding back tears at the thought of disappointing you
very into sports and is also really good at several sports, he's earned a couple of medals and trophies already
he's not the best at magic, and you're also not too sure how his dark fae blood affects that, but he's still pretty good at making progress
he really is just a good kid who tries hard at everything and tries to make the right decisions, but he's quick to get disappointed when things don't go his way, and suddenly you're faced with a very familiar and endearing puppy dog face
so a lot of times, you'll just have to pull him in a hug, and remind him things almost never go the way we plan, and it's okay to accept defeat and learn from it
but there's nothing he's more motivated about than learning more about his dad, who in his mind, is an honourable, talented knight straight from the fairytales who devotes his life to protecting the people important to him
so much so, that you'll find him swinging around the toy sword you got him for training
he'll also start putting even more effort into learning magic, wanting to connect to his amazing papa in a way
and then on one night, you're not sure what triggered it, but he's incredibly emotional and crying about how he can't help you and you're always taking care of him and he just wants to have his dad in his life and it's all so unfair why his mama is alone and-
he starts emitting bright light, so bright you can't keep your eyes open, but you reach to hold him in your arms
when you no longer feel the bright light, you tentatively open your eyes, only to find yourself standing in the dark, spacious throne room of Briar Valley
and standing there, right next to the throne, was your knight in shining armour
Standing next to the grand throne, was your knight in shining armour, Sebek. He, along with Silver, stood in positions of defence, but the moment his eyes met yours, the mask of composure crumbled, and he rushed toward you with an urgency that mirrored the longing that had lingered in his heart during your separation.
He enveloped you in a fierce embrace, his arms securing you but also gentle to not hurt you with his armour.
"I thought... I thought I lost you," Sebek's voice was a shaky whisper against your ear, his grip on you tightening as if trying to confirm that you were indeed real.
"I'm here, Sebek. I found my way back," you reassured him, feeling the softness of his hair against your cheek.
"I never thought I'd see you again," he admitted, his words a whispered admission of the fears he had harboured, pressing his forehead gently to yours.
he's a mess the instant he sees you, and he melts completely when you're finally in his arms
malleus and silver are also immensely happy that you're back, calling lilia to join the family reunion
Sebek's pretty overwhelmed with your presence on its own, so silver and lilia have given him a gentle push to actually function and introduce himself to Atsuki
he's grown to be less awkward with his affection, and particularly with how long you've been away, he doesn't hold back too much
his hands are always inching closer to touch you, his forehead resting on your shoulder every once in a while, it's all really endearing
but his parenting style is a bit awkward
Atsuki really admires him, but that also makes him ever so slightly afraid of him
meanwhile, Sebek is nervous because he doesn't want to do anything that ruins the image of a perfect knight for his son
so they're a bit awkward, but with you as the middle person they can get along pretty well!
they bond over training, with Sebek teaching him sword fighting (with you reminding him not to push him too hard)
Atsuki also really enjoys sparing with uncle silver, who always lets him him, but Atsuki just wants him to fight for real, so it's just silver being "this is real??"
uncle malleus taking him out for gargoyle studies (Sebek is jealous lmao)
and of course, uncle lilia who cooks extremely nutritious meals that always end with Atsuki puppy dog eying you to save him
sebek's family is also very very happy to have you two!!
grandpa baul grumbles around a lot, but he keeps note of Atsuki's favourite foods to prepare them when he visits
also comments on his sword fighting and stance when he feels like it
mom and dad also adore you guys!! mrs. zigvolt loves giving you gifts and talking about sebek when he was younger haha
all in all, sebek's so incredibly grateful you could come back to him, and though he's still awkward with his affection sometimes, he'll never stop trying his best to love the both of you
Atsuki's eyes widened as he took in the sight of his father, the mythical figure he had only heard tales of until now.
Sebek's gaze shifted from you to Atsuki, and his breath caught. His eyes softened as he knelt down to be at eye level with the child who was undeniably his son. "Hello," he said, his voice trembling with a mix of joy and uncertainty. "I... I'm your father."
Atsuki's eyes flickered with a mixture of awe and excitement. "Papa?" he questioned, his voice barely above a whisper.
Sebek nodded, his hands trembling slightly as he reached out to gently cup Atsuki's face. "Yes, little one. I'm your papa."
The room seemed to hold its breath as father and son locked eyes for the first time. Atsuki, still processing the enormity of the moment, broke into a wide, joyful smile. "Papa!" he exclaimed, launching himself into Sebek's arms.
Sebek, overwhelmed with emotion, held Atsuki close, a mix of laughter and tears escaping him. "I've missed so much, haven't I?" he murmured, his heart swelling with love for the son he never imagined to exist.
Part 1✧Part 2✧Part 3 ✧Masterlist
if you liked this post, don't forget to reblog!
#twstnexus#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland x reader#trey clover#trey clover x reader#twisted wonderland trey#ruggie bucchi#ruggie bucchi x reader#twisted wonderland ruggie#rook hunt#rook hunt x reader#twisted wonderland rook#sebek zigvolt#sebek zigvolt x reader#twisted wonderland sebek
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DC xDP idea: Misplace Baby
Danny makes a mistake.
He was messing around in Clockwork's lair-specifically the one with all the various clocks- when he accidentally broke a glowing gold hourglass on himself. It was the size of a house, so as the sand practically drowned him, he didn't notice his body shrinking until he dug out of the shimmering sand.
Danny stumbles on chubby little legs, panicking when he notices his clothes are suddenly too big and his hands are tinny. He fumbles to one of the old grandfather clocks to check his reflection in the glass. A small three-year-old stares back at him.
Danny screams, pushing away from the old clock. His actions cause him to trip over the leg of his pants, and he falls. Just as he tries to catch himself, the clock starts to ding.
Danny briefly recognizes the old melody of a Westminster before the clock's glass case swings open, revealing a portal, and he falls through. He catches a glimpse of Clockwork with a hand on his forehead, shaking his head in the doorway as he falls.
His face is dragged against the carpet as the Westminster chime rings behind him in the otherwise silent room. Groaning at the burn on his nose and cheeks, Danny sits up.
He turns around, watching in horror as the portal closes.
"No! No, no, no!" He opens and closes the glass door, but all he sees is the slightly swinging pendulum. Repeats his actions again and again. "Clockwork! Help! Clockwork!"
His mentor does not answer, and Danny can't feel him in the air. Can't sense his new father figure's gentle control over the flow of time. If he's learned anything in the last year he's been working as his appearance, this means Clockwork isn't in charge of this timeline.
He's in a universe so far from his original that not even the god of Time is the same. Moby Dick, he's gone and goofed now.
"Who's there?" A voice demands, and Danny whips around to see a startled man in a suit. A fine black two-piece suit that looks more expensive than Danny's house and car. Oh no, a rich man.
The man's blue eyes soften when he sees Danny. "Hey there, chum. What are you doing in my study?"
Danny blinks up at him as the man walks closer. At the closeness, the halfa's body betrays him. He starts to sob. Strong, painful sobs that wreck his whole body, and he can't breathe from how much he's crying.
The man's arms are around him in seconds. "Oh, Chum, it's okay. You're okay."
He lifts him up, pressing his wet face against his neck as he pats Danny's little back. It is humiliating, but Danny can't help but cling to the strong shoulders and curl against the warm chest as he cries. His tears and snot are all over the man's suit, but he doesn't seem to care as he comforts Danny.
Eventually, he cries to sleep, tear-stained face still pressed against the stranger's neck and his little head leaning against a strong shoulder. The rich man carefully tilts his head to ensure the toddler is fast asleep.
Once confirmed, he takes the small boy to the guest rooms. He needs answers- who is the boy? Where did he come from? Is he the son of one of the Gala attendees? What had the boy been doing at the clock guarding the Batcave?- but he will find those later. Right now, he needs to tuck this small child into bed.
"Master Bruce, your guests are waiting for you to give the speech," Alfred says, catching him at the stairway. The butler's eyes zone in on the small child in Bruce's arms before nodding. "I shall inform Marster Dick to speak for you. Who may this young lad be?"
"I'm not sure. I just found him crying in the main study." Bruce tilts his head to the upper floors. "I'm going to tuck him in."
"I'm afraid I only prepared the room next to Master Damian in preparation for Master Jon's visit. Thankfully the lads would not be opposed to sharing a room for the night if I request it of them."
"Thank you, Alfred. I'll be down as soon as I-"
"Who's child is that!?" Jason demands, stomping his way up the stairs. He's missing his suit jacket, and there is a nasty red stain on the front of his white shirt. Likely he's come for a change after "accidentally" dumping it on himself to get away from the Gala.
The toddler's nose wrinkles, indicating his sleep may be interrupted. Quickly, Bruce pats his back, humming a lullaby before the child can wake. The boy settles after a small sigh. He gives Jason a warning glare that the young man has the decency to look remorseful.
"Jason," Bruce starts, voice hushed. "I found him in the main study. He looks distressed, but a few minutes ago, I got an alert that someone had gotten into the manor. When I followed the motion detectors, it led me to this little guy."
"A baby broke into the manner? That's hardcore." Jason replied, peering at the sleeping child only to gasp. "It's another mini-you!"
"No," Bruce tells him, but secretly he thinks the same when he first finds the little boy in the main study. He had already taken a lock of the boy's hair. Just, you know, in case.
"Nice try, old man." Jason pulls out his phone, his thumb flying over his screen. A soft ding comes from the pockets of Bruce and Alfred. He doesn't have to look to know his son has just told all his siblings about the child.
A series of dings follow shortly after.
Bruce sighs, choosing not to answer, nodding to Jason and Aldfed as he quickly goes up the stairs. At least Alfred delays Jason from following by scolding him over the red stain.
Once the boy is safely placed into the bed, he carefully changes him into a pair of Damian's smallest pjs. They are still far too big for the boy but better than the jeans and white shirt he wore. He's happy to find that besides the red on his face- it looks like carpet burn- and a small bruise on his knee, the boy is unharmed. He places a stuffed octopus in the toddler's arms- smiling as the little one automatically clings it to it - before rushing down to the Batcave.
There he runs the DNA tests just as he reviews the camera footage. There he catches the toddler walking out of the woods, pushing himself through a small gap in the metal fence and wandering around the manor until he finds an open window and crawls in.
The window was opened by one of his Gala guests taking a smoke break. Bruce felt a small annoyance that they didn't follow his "no-smoking" rule even when he had explained on multiple occasions it was due to Tim not having a spleen and being worried about his health. He'll have to blacklist that man.
The child had not gracefully fallen into the manor, and Bruce winced as the boy slammed against the carpet floor as tripped. It explains the marks on his face. The boy had then cried for a few minutes- his cries must have been drowned out by the music of the Gala- but then he must have realized that no one was coming for him, so the baby had gotten up and wandered through the house crying.
He had found himself in the main study, where a few minutes later, Bruce had seen him.
Rewinding the camera, Bruce's eyes narrowed at seeing a piece of paper pinned to the boy's clothes. It looked like it fell off when he crawled through the window. Checking on the DNA test, Bruce left the cave to look for the paper.
He found in the hands of Cass, whose eyes were going over the words with fascination. She looks up at him, unsurprised by his approach- no one could sneak up on Cass- and smiles widely. "Baby brother?"
"What?"
She hands him a letter. It's short and to the point; it claims to be an old fling that gave birth three years ago, but she doesn't want anything to do with the child. She's sending the boy to the manor and is out of the country by the time he arrives.
She leaves no name.
Bruce can't remember anyone with whom he had a fling three years ago, so he knows it's a lie. Still, he would rather not find her if the child was abandoned like this. He's not sure he wouldn't break all her bones.
"I don't think he's mine," Bruce tells Cass. She tilts her head with a frown, staring at him with a soft glare until he sighs. "But I won't mind keeping him."
She beams.
The two make their way to the Batcave and find Dick already there. He's staring at the screen displaying the DNA results with a stupefied expression.
"Chum?" Bruce asks, but Dick doesn't respond. He only gapes at the screen. Cass skips next to him before she, too, freezes, and Bruce is slightly worried about what he will find.
There is a match between the boy and someone in the manner alright. But it's not with Bruce.
It's a match with Dick.
"Holy rapid-ranging ravens, I'm a father." Dick gasps.
Clockwork runs his fingers through his idiotic son's hair three floors above them. Kronos stands guard at the door, arms cross as he watches the visiting time god carefully whip the dimension travelers' memories.
Kronos is in charge of this universe timeline, but when he was approached by Clockwork asking for a favor, well, it was not hard to shift some events and make Danny a legit background.
He was now the son of Dick Grayson and Stacy Quinell. One was a boy who had been born in a circus but was forced to leave it after the death of his parents. When life got too rough, the boy would join the circus for short trips under the name Dan Danger.
The other was a girl whose parents were so determined to control every aspect of her life and were going to force her to marry a man twice her age she left home at sixteen.
She joined a traveling circus-Haley Circus- where she had a fling with Dan Danger. The night Dan was meant to go, she had seen him without his mask and learned it to be Dick Grayson.
Upon discovering her pregnancy, Stacy feared being kicked out of the circus, so she took a short break, gave birth to the boy, and kept him until he was three, thus demeaning him old enough to be without his mother.
She took him as close as she could to Wayne Manor and left. She intended to return to Haly's Circus, unaware of the fate that waited for her. Unaware of the Cout that needed new talons.
"Are you sure about this?" Kronos asks, "I'm all for discipline, but having the boy forget everything about himself for going into the timeline room?"
"It's not a punishment," Clockwork says. "It's a gift. Danny had lost so much when his parents learned the truth. His sister died trying to get him out of the house. His best friends were crippled when trying to hide him. His town was blown to pieces when his parents decided that no one in Amity Park could have a family if they could not have their children. Danny had spent years wishing to forget but mostly wishing to be a normal child. I will forever be grateful if a lifetime here grants him that."
Kronos frowns. "You have no power here. You do not know what awaits him."
"True, I know not of the trials and tribulations Danny will face, but I know you do. And you would not let anything happen to him, won't you." Clockwork looks at Kronos through his lashes and the other god of time swallows.
"Of course, my love. I will protect him. But unlike you, I can not get involved with mortals as easily. I will not be able to shield him."
"His new family will," Clockwork says, pressing his face against Danny's hair one last time to breathe him in. It will be a lifetime before he can hold his son. "The bats have faced worst odds."
Kronos tilts his head in agreement. "They have rewritten fate on numerous occasions. Even the Flashes have only been able to overturn fate but never truly go against it."
"The Court of Owls?"
"Danny will deal with them in time. His new mother is on her way to becoming a Telon. He will erase them from the timeline once he learns what they have done to her." Krono answers, eyes glowing as events of the future play before him. He watches a glowing figure battle against the king of the dead, his white hair shining brightly. "He seems to take the throne from the king of dead even here. Remarkable."
"My son is the most remarkable being around," Clockwork says proudly. He flouts from the bed, leaving behind a child with only memories of three years and a few false imprinted glimpses of the circus trailer his mother hid him in. He presses a kiss against Krono's lips. "I find myself wishing for another child. Will you assist me with that love?"
Kronos snaps them out of existence just as Danny opens his eyes and feels a small loss. It's quickly forgotten as his new father runs into the room to gasp. "Hey there, buddy, do you know who I am?"
Danny Grayson is introduced to his uncles and aunts later that night. He also meets John Jones and his niece Megan Morse who ask him a few questions about his past. Danny gets a funny feeling around them, as if someone was running their fingers through his hair but inside his head.
Thankfully they find everything to be alright.
And a new generation is born.
#dc x dp crossover#dcxdpdabbles#Misplaced Baby#Danny is Dick's son#bad parents jack and maddie#Haly's circus was a front for the Court of Owls#Kronos and CLockwork are longtime lovers#accidental baby acquisition
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must know ur thoughts on chilchuck tims if you care to share them. he is so so interesting 2 me i need to like ??? trap him in a controlled environment and take ten pages of notes on his behavior
chilchuck!!! chilcharles. mr tims. i have soooooo many thoughts about him; i think he's got so much depth worth exploring in spite of being less of a focal character for much of the story. i also think it's both very funny and a little frustrating how often people take him at face value. which isn't to say that it doesn't make sense, because he works pretty hard to try to convince you to do so. but he's so much more complex than he makes himself out to be. the impression i got from him is that he's definitely been hurt in some extremely deep-cutting, personal ways in the past - not even necessarily by any particular individual, but definitely by the common misconceptions about half-foots based on their stature. endure enough discrimination, and you're not going to be placing your trust in anyone very easily, or allowing yourself to get too attached, especially when that discrimination focuses on how vulnerable and powerless you are comparatively. chilchuck denies his attachment to his friends and loved ones because it scares him; because he knows how easily it can be used against him. he's had no choice but to harden his heart because it's the only way to get people to take him seriously. he can't just drop his guard and let himself relax, no matter how nice and well-intentioned his companions may seem - those good intentions can do just as much, if not more, harm to him and his reputation. he has to have dignity, and if that means misrepresenting himself as a mean, hateful, bitter person who hurts others if they get too close to him, then better that than suffering the humiliation of helplessness again, or realising that he's been taken advantage of for all he's worth. he needs to prove to everyone how capable and self-reliant he is, so that he doesn't risk having that independence stripped from him. so he denies himself, and avoids personal questions, and acts tough, and lashes out. and then the touden party sees right through him, and they stay. they learn to respect his boundaries even if they don't always entirely understand them. they leave the door open for him. and eventually, with much coaxing and false starts and two-steps-forward-one-step-back hesitation, chilchuck allows himself to step across the threshold and open his heart to his desire to be loved again. which doesn't personally affect me in any kind of way because i have nothing at all wrong with me whatsoever.
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I Could Never Hate You (Part ||)
Pairing -> ninth member!reader x Lee Minho
WC -> ~2,700 words
Includes -> lots of fluff, a little bit of angst, swearing, one small sexual innuendo, some Lee know tissue violence, arguing, Jeongin appearance, reader has anxiety but it's not mentioned as much in this part
Summary -> Due to the late night revelations, you nearly forget all about your argument with Hyunjin. Will you be able to forgive him?
Author's note -> I tried to make this one a little lighter to hopefully end this story on a much happier note. So don’t mind my dreadful attempt of comedy. Let me know if you want part 3! I hope you have a happy new year!
♡ Masterlist // Previous // Next ♡
You gently begin to wake up feeling something soft move beneath your head. You groan lightly, not quite wanting to wake up just yet. This has to be some of the best sleep you have ever had in your life. It's warm and cozy, and you somehow feel thoroughly rested, which is often hard to come by when on tour in a different country. Some may say the day before had exhausted you, or maybe the hotel room was just really nice, but as soon as you manage to blink your eyes open, you know the true reason. You have finally found your way back home.
You shift slightly, the sun, peaking between the curtains and painting the room a beautiful golden color, was unfortunately shining right in your eyes. Now facing away from the window, you glance up at Minho, still clad in his basic white tee and sweatpants. Neither of you had even bothered to pull the blankets back up, rather seeking warmth from just each other. The blankets are still ruffled at the end of the bed from whatever Minho had been doing before you had entered the room yesterday, unbeknownst to the life-changing events that were about to occur. You slept all night laying on his chest with his arm wrapped tenderly around you, holding you close. This is definitely the reason you slept so well the night before. Who knew cuddling with your enemy could have such a positive effect?
Minho starts to grumble a bit underneath you and you begin to panic, not wanting him to wake up yet. You just want to cherish this sweet moment for as long as possible, too afraid of how his brain will react when he wakes up. There's always the chance he will regret it all, or maybe he was just joking, or maybe he was drunk. Okay, that last one might not make too much sense but you can't help but worry through all the possibilities. Your thoughts begin to race, forgetting the most important what if. That maybe, just maybe, he really did feel the same about you and everything he said last night was entirely true.
A hand caresses your cheek, breaking you from your destructive chain of thoughts. Your eyes fall upon Minho with his eyes cracked open and a gentle smile gracing his features. He must have woken up at some point while you were too lost in thought to notice.
"What's going on in that pretty little head of yours?" he asks, his eyes searching yours as if he could find all the answers to the universe within your gaze. You simply hum, not particularly fond of telling him the insecurities that were just previously running through your head. Although you love the man dearly, you are going to need a bit of time to learn to trust him again, but that's okay. Relationships need time, communication, and work to make them last.
You lean in to press a kiss to Minho’s cheek, his fluffy morning hair and groggy voice making your heart flutter. The two of you stare at each other, absorbing the moment. Despite the rough night four out of nine members had, there was still a lot of work to be done. In the life of an idol, there was no time for rest. But for now, you were going to appreciate the peaceful moment shared between the two of you. They hadn’t released a set time to leave yesterday, but neither of you worried. Chan will come around knocking on the door eventually letting everyone know when to be ready by. It’s the same routine that has happened at every stop this tour. The only difference now being you and Minho holding each other while waiting for the eventual interruption to come.
Just as expected, a hesitant knocking sounds through the room. Minho instantly groans and closes his eyes again. You sigh exaggeratedly, realizing you're actually going to have to depart from the warm bed. As you pull away from Minho, he frowns and makes grabby hands towards you, as if he wasn't well aware of the reason you were leaving. You swat at his hands, letting a small giggle escape as you approach the door. You swing it open without bothering to look in the peephole, assuming it was simply Chan on the other side to let you know the schedule for the day. Instead you open the door to Hyunjin, who appears very surprised as if he had almost expected you to not answer at all. Honestly, you probably wouldn't have answered if it wasn't for you believing whole-heartedly that it was Chan. Surprisingly, the fight from last night with Hyunjin hadn't been the first thing on your mind when waking up this morning.
However, as you stare at the nervous boy in front of you, you're reminded of all the cruel, harsh words he said to you just the night before. The look of annoyance was now seared into your brain. How could your best friend do that to you? Your heart starts to ache as you think about all your favorite moments with him trying to decipher how it could have lead up to this.
He brings his eyes up from where they shot to the floor when you first came out. Upon making eye contact, it's clear just how nervous he really is. There is deep regret painted across his face and sincerity within his gaze. He looks like he came with something to say, his mouth opening and closing again as he tries to get the simple words out.
"Why are you here?" you ask him, not too unkindly. You simply want to give him a way into a conversation; he looks scared half to death that your just gonna slam the door in his face.
"I wanted to apologize, I am so so sorry," he says, emphasizing the last part heavily. Just hearing those words is almost enough to make you cave and forgive him again. He is your best friend after all. You're pretty sure he didn't mean any of it, especially after the reassurances provided by Minho the night before, but it doesn’t take away all the harsh words that were spoken.
"Why would you say that to me?" you ask, hurt audible in your tone. "You know how insecure I am about that stuff."
"I didn't mean to hurt you, I was just really frustrated.”
“Well you did and it seems like you don’t even care how you made me feel.”
“Of course I care,” he says, offended at your accusation.
“Well it sure as hell seemed like you couldn’t give two shits last night.”
He simply stares back at you, regret running deep in his eyes. There’s a slight sparkle to them, enough to tell that he’s starting to tear up. He brings his hand up, scrunching the area between his eyes with his fingers. You almost remind him not to, telling him that it’ll bring wrinkles to his perfect face, but you hold yourself back remembering the unfortunate situation. Things aren’t okay between the two of you. It’s a weird felling considering it’s something that hasn’t really happened before.
Since the start of the band it’s really been you and Hyunjin. You were one of the favorite friendships for the fans to obsess over, and you loved it just as much as they did. You were two peas in a pod, never leaving each other's side.
You would’ve never expected for something like this to happen. Hyunjin wouldn’t do that to you.
But you have to think rationally if you want to keep the friendship. You can’t just throw all the years down the drain. He’s human, and he makes mistakes.
You hear Hyunjin inhale sharply from where he stands in front of you. You can tell he’s desperately trying to hold his sobs in, not wanting to make this about himself.
“Fucking idiot,” he whispers under his breath sending a pang through your chest. “Could we sit down and talk about it? I really want to make it up to you,” he says, regaining his composure. He straightens his back, his hands sliding into the pockets of his sweatpants. He nervously rocks forward a bit on his feet awaiting your answer.
As much as you want to talk it through, you’re not exactly comfortable with him right now. The idea of sitting down with him and being alone is definitely not on your to-do list. You need some time to process before you can get to that point. You’re sure that if you were to try to talk it out, it would probably turn into another argument, which is something you are desperately trying to avoid.
You glance back into the room, feeling Hyunjin’s eyes analyzing your movement. Minho is still in there, and it’s not really the time or place to dig deep into what happened. Time may be the main healer in this situation. He’s just going to have to regain your trust.
“Listen, now’s not really the best time. I’m not really ready to forgive you yet, but I’m not mad at you, okay?” He nods slowly, taking in your words. You can tell he’s disappointed, but he’s aware he’s not in the position to argue.
His eyes suddenly widen, a realization occurring. His eyes shift back to the room behind you.
“Is Minho in there? How did it go?” he asks, a sneaky smile growing on his face, completely amused at the situation.
"It went fine," you say shortly, trying to get Hyunjin to take a hint. Instead, he gently pushes past you into the hotel room. You would've shut the door on him had it not been suspicious. You spin around as Hyunjin struts into the room. You stare at him, confused considering you had just told him you weren't willing to talk right now.
You simply watch in wonder as he looks around, stepping back slightly when he notices an intimidating Minho, staring back at him from one of the beds. You may agree to be civil with Hyunjin while he attempts to make up for everything, but that doesn't mean Minho will. You're sure his typically empty threats will finally start to hold true.
Minho is still laying on the bed right where you had left him. His phone is in his hand, as if he had been trying to distract himself from listening to your conversation. However, it seems like the phone was neglected upon Hyunjin abruptly entering the room. His eyebrows are raised in a slightly annoyed manner. He hadn't been expecting Hyunjin to actually come into the room. His eyes shift from Hyunjin to you, and you quickly look away, embarrassed to be caught staring.
Although you would never admit it to his face, damn did he look hot while he was annoyed.
"You two slept in the same bed," Hyunjin says matter of factly, bringing you out of your thoughts. Your mouth opens in shock, not understanding how he could've possibly figured that out. Minho, however, doesn't take the moment of pause.
He instantly fires back, "Yah, don't start making accusations." He sits up a bit on the bed, prepared to chase after Hyunjin, like their fights usually result in.
"So, you're telling me you two did not sleep in the same bed?" he asks with his eyebrows raised in challenge. He glances between both of you as you try to figure out what to say. You don't want to lie to your best friend, but also based off what happened last night, he doesn't really deserve to know.
Minho beats you to it answering, "That's none of your business." He says it casually followed by a shrug of his shoulders. You nearly face palm, already knowing Hyunjin's reaction.
He instantly lights up, believing his theory to now be confirmed. He makes eye contact with both you and Minho, before he makes a run for it. He spins around and rushes for the door.
"Guys I won. I won the bet!" he begins to yell as he makes it to the hallway. Luckily, this was one of the few hotels you have stayed at where you had a whole floor to yourselves. There was a close encounter with fans at your last hotel, and they wanted to be extra cautious.
Hyunjin takes advantage of this, although you're not quite sure if it's purposeful or if he's just too excited to care. He goes to yell again, wanting to let the rest of the boys know the exciting news, but he is instantly cut off with a hand to his mouth. He recognizes it as Minho's, remembering the taste of dry tissues all too well.
Hyunjin nearly stumbles as he is dragged back into the room by the shorter man. Minho isn't too rough though, completely aware of his limits. He doesn't want to hurt him, maybe just restrain him.
Minho pushes him into the desk chair standing behind it. Hyunjin spits out the tissues, frustrated at being the victim of Minho's crimes yet again. He goes to stand up, eager to spill about your relationship to everyone, but he is kept seated by firm hand on his shoulder.
“Might as well tie him up while you’re at it” you say, giggling at Minho's antics.
“How’d you know I was into that?” Hyunjin retorts, a shit eating grin plastered on his face. In contrast, behind him Minho's face contorts into one of pure disgust. You can’t help but laugh at the craziness of the scene in front of you. The silliness is refreshing after the dramatic night before.
“Y/n, hand me more tissues,” Minho says, a look of determination growing on his face.
“I don’t know if that’s necessary…”
“He’s asking for it at this point,” he argues back, stretching his arm out obnoxiously. You shrug, unable to disagree with his point, emptying the last of the tissue box into his hand.
Panic fills Hyunjin’s eyes as he stares at you with deep betrayal. You simply laugh, aware that he's not actually upset.
Suddenly, all three of your heads snap towards the cracked open door as it's pushed open the rest of the way. It had been left slightly open after Minho dragged Hyunjin back in. You're nervous to see who it is, scared for the teasing to come if they find out. It's not that you don't want them to know about you and Minho, you just don't want to give them the satisfaction of being right. They've been trying to get you guys to interact again for years, so they are definitely going to give you a rough teasing over it. Plus, it doesn't sound like a bad idea to keep Minho to yourself for a little bit longer.
The door lightly hits the wall and the person is revealed. Jeongin is staring at the scene before him with wide eyes. The room is a little trashed due to Hyunjin knocking over a few things in the process of the kidnapping, and he looks terrified as Minho is holding tissues. It's definitely not the most welcoming thing he's ever seen.
He had come running out of his room after hearing Hyunjin yell, unsure as to what he had said. He was staying in the room next to you two and had simply wanted to check on Hyunjin or maybe join in on the fun.
However, this was not something he wanted to be included in this early in the morning. Hyunjin gives him pleading eyes, practically begging Jeongin to stay. The maknae doesn't listen, rather breaking eye contact and leaving for his room, too scared to be on the recieving end of Minho's wrath. He hadn't even said anything, his simple observance enough to make him leave.
That wouldn't be the end of it though, he knows he'll learn all about what happened eventually. He leaves with a small smirk, wondering if they had finally managed to finally get you and Minho to make up.
Next part out now!
Taglist: @armystay89 @thisisnotjacinta @silentreadersthings @seungminsapuppy
#slvt4felix#skz#stray kids#skz x reader#stray kids x reader#stray kids oneshot#stray kids imagine#lee know x reader#lee minho x reader#lee minho#lee know#hyunjin#skz angst#skz fluff#enemies to lovers#skz 9th member#stray kids ninth member#skz ninth member#skz x 9th member
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one to ten | jww
summary: your roommate may not know how to help you feel better, but that won’t stop him from trying.
pairing: jeon wonwoo x reader
au: roommates to ?, pining, sick fic
type: drabble (hurt/comfort, fluff)
rating: pg13 — still, minors do not have my consent to interact with my content.
cw: gn!spoonie!reader; downbad!best boi!super shy!roommate!wonu; chronic illness/pain is implied but no diagnosis is specified; hand-holding 👁️👄👁️; barely proofread because brain fog, lol.
a/n: this is super self-indulgent and based on my own personal experience with chronic illness (fibromyalgia), so it may be different than yours!!
wc: 1k
Wonwoo isn’t psychic, but he knows that something is up the second he gets home from work.
Walking through the door of your shared apartment, he moves immediately to deposit his keys on the nearby hook and finds that yours are already there. Odd, he thinks, given your habit of imposing your own overtime. Your commute is shorter than his, and you still never beat him back here.
He looks down as he toes off his shoes, carefully maneuvering them across the mat to avoid both your heels and your sneakers, which don’t seem to have budged since this morning. Wonwoo frowns. It’s rare for you to skip out on the gym at the end of the day, but it’s unheard of for you to miss work — even when you should, in his non-expert opinion.
That’s a bit of a red flag, he’ll admit.
Wonwoo locks the door behind him, pads off across the kitchen and through the adjoining living room, and eventually stops at your bedroom door. It’s cracked open — a secret code of yours, he’s learned. One that means you don’t want to be alone, but you feel the need to warn him about what’s on the other side. Usually, it’s you, deflated in your bed in a way that you find embarrassing. Still, even on your worst days, he’s never seen you look bad.
He’s not convinced that you could if you tried.
Softly, Wonwoo raps his knuckles against the doorframe to warn you. In response, he gets a muffled, “Hello?” It wraps around his heart and squeezes just a little. He loves that about you; how gentle your voice is when everything else you’re experiencing feels the opposite.
You lift your head up just enough to make eye contact with him as he slips through the doorway, and you smile. If it aches to do so, you pretend like it doesn’t.
He clears his throat awkwardly. “Hey.”
Admittedly, this is the part that Wonwoo feels he’s worst at. He’s never quite sure what to ask or what he can do to help, always simultaneously afraid of being patronizing or too hands-off. It’s a balancing act; his equilibrium is off.
And, god, he’s so shy when it comes to you. He can’t make himself act on any of the comforting impulses he absolutely has, so he simply pauses at the end of your bed and sweeps his eyes over your frame. A triage of sorts, he supposes.
You’re on your right side, hugging a hot water bottle, and there’s a Munchlax plush between your knees to keep them separated. Your left hip hurts, he guesses. It’s probably safe to assume that the rest of you does, too. Crinkling his nose as he thinks, he asks, “One to ten?”
Another code.
Wonwoo has to adjust the scale when you answer — three — because your three is his eleven. The good news isn’t lost on him, though: Your pain was a six during the last flare. Things may not be great, but they’ve definitely been worse.
“Mostly just tired,” you sigh, as if you can hear the calculations he’s running in his head. “I was this close —” You lift an arm and pull your thumb and index finger in so that they’re almost touching. “— to making it out the door this morning.”
Dropping your arm again slowly, you pat the space next to you in silent invitation. Wonwoo’s body hesitates, even though his pulse doesn’t. It’s par for the course, unfortunately for him.
He wonders how many moments like this need to pass before his palms don’t sweat anymore. Will filling the spot next to you on your bed, on the couch, or even in your passenger seat ever not affect him like this?
Maybe not.
He’s okay with that, so long as you keep giving him the opportunity.
You laugh, and it single-handedly diffuses the tension in his posture. “I think the side of the bathtub got taller. I almost had to yell for you to haul me out of there, but I managed.”
“Proud of you.” He’s chuckling now, too, but that doesn’t undermine how much he means it. Getting your body to cooperate with you is always hardest in the mornings.
For what it’s worth, he would’ve come running if you’d called.
Carefully, Wonwoo sits down on the vacant side of your bed and scoots closer to you, knowing you’ll call him out for leaving distance and anticipating how badly he'll blush if you do. It’s so much easier for you to be close to people than it is for him, but he’s trying.
He hopes you see that.
There’s a microscopic wince when you wiggle your way towards him. It’s replaced quickly by a satisfied little grin once you settle, your body curving around his bent knee like a puzzle piece slotting into place.
“You always run warm,” you muse. “I’m jealous.”
Wonwoo blinks, a little dumbfounded that you’ve noticed — not that he should be, really. He’s obviously picked up on a lot of trivia about you since you took over his former roommate’s lease several months back. If he knows the order of your skin care routine, it’s not weird for you to know that he can’t sleep without a fan on.
Should he have noticed this about you by now?
Curiosity makes him bold, apparently. He pulls his palm off the mattress and touches his fingertips to the back of your hand. “Goddamn,” he whistles.
His hypothesis is proven the second he touches you — you’re freezing — but Wonwoo admittedly gets a kick out of the temperature disparity. He can’t help but run the pads of his fingers absentmindedly over your skin, tracing nonsense patterns. You can’t help the pleased hum that slips out of you as you watch his ministrations; or the way your heavy eyelids start to interrupt your view.
Even when he’s sure you’ve been lulled to sleep, Wonwoo keeps doodling. It’s got to be exhausting to exist in a body that always aches, and you deserve whatever rest you can get. Truth be told, he could probably stay like this for hours if that would help. He’d be doing the same thing at his PC, anyways, holding a mouse instead of your hand.
Yeah, he thinks, this is a much better set-up.
#jeon wonwoo#wonwoo#svt#wonwoo x reader#wonwoo fluff#wonwoo drabble#wonwoo hurt/comfort#jww#jade writes#jade’s drabbles#re: one to ten#kvanity
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got a request via comment for a part two with the undatables for this mangled wings prompt! been working at trying to incorporate raph into my works so this will be my first post with him in it! part one can be found here
if you haven't done lesson 76-19 (yes i did have to look up the exact lesson haha) there are spoilers below for simeon
enjoy!
Mc with mangled wings p.2
Diavolo
he's always been very empathetic, and he immediately tries to help you in any way he can
he offers you all the moral and emotional support he can offer
he also tries to help you work through it and may know the right people to help you restore what you once had
whatever you need, he will help you as best as he can
Barbatos
when he learns, you're not so sure about how he feels since his expression remains exactly the same
but inside, he's filled with a seething rage that he rarely feels and is something only few can recognize
suddenly, all those that hurt you are begging for forgiveness
when you ask him, he says nothing and offers you a tea party with all your favorite things at it
Simeon
he's very open about how
however, something he'll never tell you is how afraid he was of suffering a similar fate
he's grateful he didn't fall like the brothers did, but now he's just floating in a weird in between
it's an odd bonding moment between the two of you, being outcasted, but part of him feels like you could connect more with the brothers than him
Luke
he's so horrified that people that you once trusted could do that to you
he hugged you and almost started crying while apologizing
after he learns what happened to you, you suddenly find a lot more specialty treats left on your bed that are always right up your alley
while he thinks it might bother you to bring it up directly, he's always asking how you are and how you're feeling
Solomon
he's seen a lot during his lifetime, so while this doesn't phase him too much, that doesn't take away how upset it makes him
he hates seeing you in pain, and as a human, he's known a lot of that
even though you're not, he feels as if the two of you can bond over understanding each other when nobody else does
he hasn't suggested it to you yet, but he's been trying to create something that may help you to restore what you once lost...
Mephisto
you've never seen him act more sympathetic
his facade drops and you can see how much he actually cares about you
with his heart on his sleeve, he shares everything
he lets you know you're welcome in his arms anytime if you need anything, and while he won't admit he had the conversation with you, his actions change
Thirteen
at first she's outraged, but eventually calms down once she sees that you're not as upset
don't give her any names or she might accidently knock over their candle while working
when it comes to be their time naturally! she emphasis naturally, you can come help if you want
reaping is something she does respectfully and this is no exception, but she'd do anything for you
Raphael
he's very serious as usual when he offers to hunt down who did that to you
he wants to seek vengeance on your behalf
even if you tell him not to, part of him will always be thinking about doing it anyways and is always listening for details about them
from then on, anything you ask for, he's getting it done 100% if not already
#obey me#obey me!#obey me x reader#obey me diavolo#obey me barbatos#obey me mephisto#obey me raphael#obey me solomon#obey me luke#obey me simeon#obey me shall we date#obey me! shall we date#omswd
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What Love Has in Store For You in 2024
Your 2024 Love Life Reading is Here :)
Sooo, take what resonates, leave what does not fit; while keeping in mind we all have free will. This is also my first ever PAC blog post :) Please leave feedback I will be sure to respond back ❤️
Pile One: The 7 of Swords, THE DEVIL, The Page of Swords, DEATH, 8 of Cups Bottom Card : THE MOON
(Capricorn, Scorpio,Aquarius, Gemini, Pisces, Libra signs could be relevant seasons or people)
So pile one I do not know if you are single right now are within a connection that you may consider leaving but there seems to be someone here that experiences a breakup. There seems to be someone manipulative involved and they sneak around and get caught up. If you know you are single the people that may approach you this year are people who may lie and present challenges within a relationship. It would be a karmic connection, that would cause you to need deep healing. From There will prepare an exit strategy to leave behind toxic partners that have obsessive, codependent toxic natures. The ones with bad habits and bind you with pain. You will tell someone to kiss your as$. The deception will be too much. They could have been sneaking around or you will just simply pain on how to detach yourself from any type of people that keep you from being able to evolve and enjoy the refreshing emotional connections that serve your higher good. You will gain clarity on how to move forward in love. You will no longer continue to entangle yourself with people that bring you down and make you face your inner demons in hurtful ways. Someone else will also try to approach you from your past there will be two people that are no good for you and shady that will not be able to bring anything healthy to your love life. You will face your fears around love choosing to purify yourself of emotions that do not help you experience the love you know you deserve. I see you taking a logical approach within your love life and holding more your value and self worth in high regards this year. You will learn to use your wisdom to heal and cut off anyone that is not able to communicate and show you what is worthy of your time and attention. You will vet people and do your homework before you let anyone waste any of your time, you may also block some people and choose to be emotionally unavailable for them any longer. You will also refuse to be a one night stand. When you do decide to date it will be because it is an equally compatible relationship where both parties are on the same page, within the same book. You will learn forgiveness, compassion and how to be strong again. This will give you the courage to be able to allow yourself to love again and help start a new, healthy love life in which you are able to get everything that didn’t work out in your past :) this could be in 2025 or by the end of the year
Pile TWO: Princess of Swords, Ace ofSwords, Princess of Wands, & 10 of Disks
Aries, Sagittarius, Leo, Aquarius, Libra, Gemini, Taurus, Scorpio, Capricorn, Virgo
There is someone that Is going to have their eyes on you. They may be someone you know from before 2024 or someone who will come to start conversing with you soon. This will lead to them wanting to start talking about establishing something more stable that could leaf to longevity for the long run. They will want to be patient with you and feel you are fated to be in their life. They could be an Aries or you meet them in that season; but they will want to have something stable with you. They are someone that will want to provide for you and make your life comfortable. Initially, this person may give off “player energy” but eventually they will take off the mask and show you who they sincerely are. They have an athletic build or work out. Sometimes their ego gets the best of them. This connection will be undeniable and mutually shared. At some point it may get too intense and someone may want to take a break and heal. Any separation will make you both realize how much you truly matter to one another. They offer security and tell you how they can make more money and include you with wealth management choices/opinion. They balance you out and make you feel seen and included. This person can really dress and they seem to know how to charm you real good! They have everything you really could want to have in someone you commit to, especially legally. This person wants to make you feel protected and able to have a family legacy with them. They want to have you be a part of the plans and help them manage what it is y’all create together. They are a true born leader who is a ride or die companion. They would go to war over you. The connection they feel for you right off deepens because the conversations you have when you meet will flow very easily. It’s like you two never run out of things to talk about. They feel you both deserve and will be able to live a life of travel and luxury. They want to be able to surprise you with nice things just because. This person may have some debt they need to resolve but they want to marry you so they will get this in order because they feel you’re Wirth the effort. They also want to get all their shit together in general. There is healing that is needed to be done in order for this marriage to last. This person will need to know how to gain and maintain financial responsibility so that the aspirations they set can flourish but also be managed effectively. They will want to lavishly spend on you but you both will need to cut off all other attachments from the past completely that leech. I’m hearing family and old flames wanting hand out! Them especially. I feel you may meet them when they are coming out of a bad situation. This person could have had a bad separation and not offer much at first meeting but will continue getting to knowing you and realize you are everything they thought they could never find.
PILE THREE: Queen of Wands, The 5 of Pentacles, The TOWER, & the 2 of Pentacles
Aries, Leo, Sagittarius, Scorpio, Aquarius, Libra, Gemini, Taurus, Virgo, Capricorn
I feel like you are someone that is very attractive. This year it will draw plenty of attention your way. If you are in a relationship; I hope your lover is secure/strong. However, You appear to be single and there are people who will be approaching you this year. These people are not going to be anyone that you will want to settle for. You will notice red flags and they only serve as a confidence booster from the Most High that you are desirable. Some of these options will want to settle down with you there just won’t be the compatibility that you seek between you and them. You will feel like a few are disasters waiting to happen. Others you may feel you would have to watch and can not fully trust. There will be at least two main players who will make major efforts to gain your time and attention but you will feel like they lack something that you desire in a partner and I do not see you wanting to commit to anyone because what they offer does not appear to be up to your standards. You will have plenty of options if you want to date or starts something slow that maybe leads something more exclusive. I feel you will have to make your mind up about at least two people and there maybe an argument if anyone finds about about the others lol.. You will not have a bad year in love it just does not seem like the options that present themselves lead to your END GAME but they will be entertainment for sure. Some of these people will be delusional and not everything that they try to present themselves as especially financially. IF you are in a relationship I feel like there is family drama or something changes drastically in the dynamic of things. There is not any balance within the connection. Someone may want to unexpectedly end things and get angry because they feel like the other does not have enough time, money or attention for them. There may even be bad communication that is a factor as well. Social media problems. Drama regarding children. Bad spending habits. Someone expects others to over sacrifice for them and Its just not happening. They are not even able to reciprocate that. Someone from your past is getting blocked because they are bad news. You will be in love with your finances, looks, magnetic charm, radiant smile, amazing hair styles, fashionable outfits and effortless attention that you receive. Everybody that will try to play you this year will play themselves and lose horribly. You are clearly the prize and you finally step in to having the confidence regularly to recognize that.
#tarot#tarot cards#pick a card#pick a pile#spirituality#astrology#zodiac#zodiac signs#fyp#love reading#horoscope#love
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Not Strong Enough
summary: bradley struggles to understand his grief or you ask bradley why he doesn’t like when people take care of him.
warnings: heavy talks of parental death, mental health, and medicine/medication. 18+ blog.
word count: 1.8k
this is for boygenius fans who also took the line ‘once i took your medication to know what it’s like’ line quite literally bc haha same 👍🏻, not sure if it'll even translate well but lol
something ‘bout you masterlist.
Bradley Bradshaw had been a freshly twenty three when he first discovered that yellowed pill bottle hidden away in his bathroom cabinet. For all these years, the plastic casing was stashed behind a deteriorating box of waterproof band-aids and a decade-old bottle of rubbing alcohol, not meant to be found by anyone else but Carole Bradshaw.
So, when his innocent search for a first aid kit ended with him blankly staring at a cluster of tiny blue tablets spilled into the palm of his hand, the first thought that crossed his mind was to put it away. He knew his mother was no longer around to finish off her prescription, he should put them back where she had originally left them. It’d be wrong if he were to toss them down, especially when they weren’t his to take.
But Bradley Bradshaw did it anyway.
In swallowing down the expired medication, cupping a handful of sink water to aid himself, a sick expectation had welled up within Bradley that night. A part of him hoped that once they dissolved in his stomach—he’d finally be able to understand why she needed them in the first place—that it would give him a glimpse into the mind of the woman he was so curious about. That, if he just had a mere taste of what Carole Bradshaw had taken daily without his knowledge, he'd somehow be closer to her in that way.
Once they settled, Bradley would be able to encapsulate her essence, gaping that bridge he wedged between them. Perhaps then, he'd stop feeling so guilty for looking like a splitting image of her dead husband while she was combating her grief.
But for a plastic tube so brightly colored, it held something so unbelievably numb.
Laying stiffly across the bed he’d already started to outgrow, limbs dangling off the ends of the mattress, a black hole began to materialize—tearing right through his chest that night.
Carole Bradshaw never had to outwardly say it, but Bradley knew she struggled with things he couldn’t begin to fully comprehend as a young boy, barely grazed by the cruelty of the world. So, he did his best to not be another problem for her to deal with growing up, as she had fair share of those in her lifetime.
In elementary school, Bradley was the only student seated quietly, scribbling drawings of airplanes into his name tag with a thick blue crayon, while everyone else cried for their parents on the first day of school. It had been a strange revelation for a child to come to, that he needed to learn how to be alone—how to be without his parents, in case they both weren’t there anymore.
Yet, by the second grade he came to terms with that.
And throughout highschool and college, Bradley made sure to stay out of the line of trouble, for the sake of his mother who made herself sick with worry. Despite what others may think, Bradley paid special attention to his grades, in the same way Carole tended to the burst of star shaped lilies planted in their backyard. And in times where he felt alone during his youth, it almost felt cruel to voice that back to his mother when she asked him ‘How was your day sweetheart?’
It was only when she passed that he finally cried out to her, gripping onto that limp hand by the hospital bedside. It was only when Bradley was truly alone in his life that he felt it was enough to finally say it outloud.
But in his true nature, Bradley bounced back.
The realization that came to him when he was a child, that he’d eventually stretch out the rest of his life alone, hit him again. Moving forward, he had been so sure that he’d be fine with that. There was no room to feel a semblance of pain if he kept everyone at an arm's length away. It somewhat worked to ease him off the loss of Carole, and it should work with everything else in life. But, the universe had different plans for him, when they led him to you.
It had been another night you two spent staring at the stars, sitting on the same blanket on his front lawn, where Bradley found himself not thinking twice about everything he said. Maybe it was the comfort the night sky provided him, or maybe it was because he was just talking to you.
“Hey Bradley?” you call out for him, cutting through the silence. “Why don’t you let people do things for you?”
Bradley keeps his eyes trained on the lights dusted besides the full moon, knowing you were looking at it too. “What do you mean?” He softly asks, delaying a bit.
Slowly, you turn your head, admiring freckles that speckled across his cheek. They lightly danced over the scars adorning his face, and just barely kissed over the tip of his nose. And despite the array of stars twinkling right in front of you, trying to catch your attention again as they glimmered—you had always found him much more mesmerizing.
Bradley Bradshaw was a once in a lifetime sight you had the privilege of seeing up close. And for that reason, you can’t look away from him, not now at least.
“When people let you skip them in line, you don’t do it,” you warily pause, watching Bradley nod as you start. “Then you do that thing where you buy your own beers before your team gets to the Hard Deck, so they don’t beat you to it,” you bite your lip, digging through your list of observations.
“And you have this look when I do stuff for you, like, you don’t understand why I’m making you lunch or why I’m buying you stupid things that remind me of you,” you finally share, stretching your legs out.
The silence that lingers after is heavy.
Bradley takes in a quiet breath, reminded by the life sized teddy bear you lugged into his apartment just last week. “It’s not something I’m used to,” he provides weakly, recalling the way you excitedly screeched at him when the bear fit perfectly on his couch. He’s still not looking at you as he continues. “It’s..it’s dumb. But the idea of someone looking after me, even if it's in a small way. I just…it feels weird for me.”
Everyone he knew, acted as if they hit the jackpot when someone else confessed that they loved them ardently. But while others wished for a moment like that, Bradley wished against it—it would be too burdensome for him. Bradley never wanted someone to love him again, not until now.
“Do you…not like when I do things for you? Is that something you don’t–”
“No. When it’s you, it feels different, ” he cuts you off suddenly. “When you pack me lunch, I feel good eating it. I don’t…I don’t feel guilty eating it,” his head drops, hanging forward like a weight. There had been so many times he secretly threw up his own mother’s cooking, thinking it would hurt less if he didn’t take her token of love. “I hate feeling bad about things like that, it’s not normal,” he confesses.
You blink back the tears coating your eyes, not wanting to lose sight of his starlike freckles. “I want to help you feel good Bradley,” you whisper, fingers twitching at your side.
Swallowing thickly, your eyes dart between the solemn expression he’s wearing and the scrunch his fingers give the thin blanket below him. “I want you to feel okay with being loved, you deserve it as much as anyone else does. I want that for you now, and I think…I would’ve wanted it for you if we were both kids.—if I was lucky enough to know you when I was ten.”
At that, Bradley finally smiles, and it doesn’t seem so tasking to do so. “Would you have sat next to me in class?” He finally turns to you, starting a study of your face, realizing that you glow brighter than the stars shining above both of you.
“In class, and during lunch time. Then we would have hung out during recess too because obviously I win you over with my charms,” you softly smile at him, playing with the idea.
It’s too late for it now—the possibility of you two growing up together as kids. But a part of Bradley likes to imagine it anyway.
If you had been there during his quiet walks home from school, it would have kept his tears from falling. If you fell over in a heated game of tag, he would’ve kissed over your bruised knees like he does now. And if you were there when he came home to an empty house, he wouldn’t have taken Carole’s medication to know what it’s like to be someone who loved him.
“What if all I did was draw the ugliest airplane models?”
“I was a pretty weird kid. I’d probably sit there drooling while watching you doodle,” you confirm, biting your lip to suppress a small laugh.
Bradley extends his hand out to you, uncurling your lip from your teeth to hear it spill from you. Right as he does, you finally giggle in his palm. “Hey, don’t start droolin’ on me Babybear,” he warns, laughing with you.
With his hand cupping your cheek, he leans in to press a quick kiss to your smiling mouth. “I wish we could’ve been kids together,” he cements, pulling back.
“Bradley,” you lean into his hand, warming his calloused palm. “Did you forget about us snatching the last toy plane right from that kid in Target the other day?”
Bradley lightly shrugs, tracing his hand up to tousle your hair. “We have more fun with that plane than he ever will,” he decides, leaving his hand there, holding the top of your head firmly.
Head clamped under his fingers, you nod. “I bet he wishes he could fly it as high as we do when I’m sittin’ on your shoulders.”
“That’s right,” he gradually nods in agreement.
“Speaking of, let’s go back inside and fly it after you take your medication,” you sternly point a finger at him, pairing it with a look.
Bradley mindlessly begins to draw an outline of a plane into your scalp, using his index resting over the back of your head. “Will you feed it to me?”
“That’s a silly question. You know I always do,” you tilt your head slightly.
Bradley softens, finishing off his invisible sketch, adding the detail to the airplane wing.
“Yeah, you always do,” he echoes.
Lieutenant Bradshaw had been thirty nine when he first discovered he’d been prescribed the medication his mother once took. Instead of her name printed across the label, there was his name. Bradley Nick Bradshaw.
But, when it finally came time to take it, Bradley was never shaking above the sink, apprehensive as it spilled out into his palm, no. Because you were always there, softly whispering I love yous as you gently dipped it into his mouth.
Bradley Bradshaw was never left curious about how it felt to love someone like him, not when you kept telling him how rewarding it was.
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#bradley bradshaw#bradley rooster bradshaw#bradley bradshaw fic#bradley bradshaw angst#bradley bradshaw fanfiction#bradley bradshaw x y/n#bradley bradshaw x you#bradley bradshaw x reader#bradley rooster x reader#bradley rooster x y/n#tgm fic#rooster x you#rooster x y/n#rooster angst#rooster imagine#bradley bradshaw imagine#rooster x reader
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What’s Right, is Wrong.
© Skyebounded, do not use my work, but you may share it.
.Masterlist. .Starwars Masterlist.
premise: You wanted it all, and now you are realising that it might not be possible, and you need to tell Anakin.
pairing: Anakin Skywalker x Fem!Reader
warnings: angst, smut, p in v, fingering? overstimulation, semi-public smut, sexual themes, etc. I don’t know at this point.
wc: 4.3K
a/n: I read over it like once, so there is that. Also, this is my first time writing for him so if it’s not good, apologies.
It was a mistake, falling for him. You had dedicated your life to the order, years of training and devotion all so that you could help bring balance, and all they asked of you was to remain free of any personal attachments, and you failed. You knew the moment you had met Anakin, with his charm and , that it would always prove difficult to keep to the laws bestowed upon you.
You had spent years with him, growing, learning, training, and after all that time, he wore you down. Leading you to wonder constantly what the things that were so blatantly forbidden to you, would be like, and eventually, you broke as did he, Unable to keep yourself from wanting him, needing him. In the worst possible ways he consumed you, made you weaker than ever before. You couldn’t go on like this, you just couldn’t.
You had no idea what Senator Amidala was saying to you, despite its importance, you had checked out, your mind distant, stuck with the tall handsome Jedi that owned your mind, body, and soul. She hadn’t seemed to notice, and perhaps it was because you found the room to occasionally nod and make other gestures that you were taking in everything that she was saying, but that couldn’t be further from the truth. It was a blessing that she hadn’t sought any responses from you, before she had left, leaving you alone with your thoughts and some surrounding padawans.
If you closed your eyes now you could still feel his fingers, feather-light on your naked skin, body pressed against yours, sweat riddled and tired, but unrelenting, his arms wrapped around you in an attempt to keep you from disappearing from his grasp. The tired, unhurried thrusts as he rocked his hips against your own, helping you to find that state of utter bliss that only he could give you. And then there was the imprint of his plush lips down your neck, spine, sternum. His mark, permanently branded on you.
The chatter of the room had fallen to just above a whisper as Anakin stormed into the room, crossing it in three large strides. His strong hand wrapped around your arm as he pulled you slightly into him.
“May I have a word with you?” he hissed, raising his brows as if to stress urgency over his request. He didn’t seem to care just how many people were surrounding you or even looking at you, nor the person that you had been speaking to at that moment. Whatever was on his mind was clearly more important, and you had the strongest urge that you knew exactly what it was.
You exchanged a quick glance with the padawan you had been talking to before Anakin had pulled you off with him, out of the room and into the desolate hallway out of earshot as he pushed you up against the nearest wall. His tall frame looming over your much smaller one, as he looked down at you, eyes desperately searching yours for the sole reason he sought you out. If this had been a different situation, you could have almost guaranteed that you would have folded right then and there. Staring back at him, you suddenly found it much harder to keep your eyes on his, though they were full of confusion and some well-hidden pain, and you couldn’t fully blame him for it.
“Ani-” you started, finding it harder and harder to find the words to explain to him just why you couldn’t do this anymore. The arrangement, the understanding had simply been ‘try it once, and then we’re done’ and after once, it turned to twice, and so on. Living for the moments that you could shut yourselves away in a dimly lit room, with no prying eyes, completely engulfed in each other. But it became an addiction, lying awake thinking about him and only him.
“Why did you leave?” he cut across you, ignoring the way his name fell from your lips in such a soft and delicate way. He didn’t have the time for your excuses, whether they were logical and well-reasoned or not. He only needed the truth, the unfiltered and undeniable truth. He thought he knew the reason, but he wanted you to look him in the eyes and tell him why, tell him that you didn’t want this anymore, whatever it was, not the fucking note that you left thinking it would be sufficient enough for him. You had never been so wrong about something in your life.
One of his hands was firmly pressed against your abdomen, holding you in place in case you got the sudden urge to run from him like you had done earlier, he couldn’t risk it this time.
“Why?” he prodded, and you felt that shift in energy, something more compelling and urgent. You cast your eyes down, taking a deep bated breath as you tried to search for the words.
“Anakin, we can’t, we can’t do this and you know it. It’s wrong, forbidden-” you explained, gesturing towards the room where you had just come from as if to better help explain your point, but Anakin couldn’t see it, he wouldn’t.
“If it is so wrong then why doesn’t it feel that way? It feels right, beyond right, and I know you know that.” Anakin argued, the vein in his neck growing more prominent, as he clenched his jaw, trying to calm himself. His eyes were fluttering between your own, watching closely for any indication that you understood, agreed with him, his brows creased in determination as his hand moved to caress your hip, gently lifting up your robe just enough for him to make contact with your skin.
He was right about one thing, it had never felt more right than to be with him, consumed by him and everything he did. Every fibre in your body calling for him every waking moment, desperate for his touch, his presence, like if you didn’t get it you would surely go insane. To have your mind plagued by the very thought of him, finding yourself counting down the minute until you could see him again, feel him, taste him. The mere thought of him, a disruption to your existence. It was to the point of total madness, and not a single second of it felt wrong, or like it should be forbidden, and yet it was. That’s what they had told you, that's what you had spent all those years knowing, practicing, preaching.
You had slipped up, catching yourself wanting something that you couldn’t have, like a piece of forbidden fruit that had been dangled in your face, and Anakin had been nothing shy of happy to oblige, only wanting the same thing. You had both failed, getting so caught up in the feeling, the need and want, that you couldn’t stop, couldn’t resist. With every encounter, it became harder to see reason, to see where the true problem lay, and even now, even now you weren’t sure that you knew what the problem was.
You had spent the past few days fighting everything in you, telling you to go on, that nothing had to change or stop, but you couldn’t ignore that little part of you that screamed out that it was wrong.
“Anak-”
“You left me, with a note…A note? Is that really what it means to you, what I mean to you? Is that my worth, y/n?” His voice sounded broken like he was trying to keep it all together. If you reached out to him, you would be able to feel, sense his fear and anticipation. He was scared and confused. He couldn’t lose you, not when he had no reason to, it would tear him apart. It had been cruel of you, but in a split second, a moment of poor judgement, you panicked and did the only thing you could think to do. You left him alone with a simple note, and his thoughts, hoping that by some chance it would suffice. Guilt wracked you as you looked at him, that looming gaze filled with disappointment and betrayal.
“No, I-its just, I knew you would try and stop me, and you can’t, we can’t.”
You could see the rage bubbling inside of him, no matter what you said, did, he wasn’t going to see the problem, because to him it wasn’t a problem. He would instead abandon the Jedi than lose you, to lose what he had with you, and if that's what he had to do then he would, he didn’t care. You meant more to him, this meant more to him than everything else he had grown to know, love.
“What is so wrong about it?” He asked, his teeth clenched, “Nothing that we have done is wrong y/n? Nothing, it has only felt right, addicting..”
“Anakin, have you ever considered that this is the reason it is wrong?” you start, your features hardening under his blunt gaze. “I can’t get you out of my head, I can’t get the feeling of your hands on my body, your skin from skin, your taste from my tongue, and assuredly I cannot get the feeling of you consuming me from my soul. It's permanent! It doesn’t stop, day in and day out you are the only thing I crave. I don’t seem to care about much more, Anakin, not the things that I should care about, and that is where the problem lies. We have a goal, a purpose to serve and I can’t seem to find myself wanting anything to do with it anymore.” You could feel the way your eyes were prickling with emotion, your head reeling trying to make sense of it all, trying to convince yourself that what you were saying, that you needed to stop, was the right thing to do.
Anakin’s hand shifted just slightly, further up your shirt, his thumb soothing your skin with gentle massages, a gentle reminder of the way his hands felt upon your skin.
“And I see nothing wrong with that? There is nothing wrong with that, I-”
“Anakin, no,” you state plainly, seeing his brow twitch and his jaw clench.
His face contorted at your response, finding it harder and harder to make sense of it all. The truth was, he couldn’t, he couldn’t see your reasoning.
“Is that what you really want? Do you want to stop? I want the truth, I want to know what you really want, not what you think you should want. I need for you to tell me.” he explains, praying that you would tell him that you take it back, that you were scared and that was all.
The silence that fell over the pair of you was deafening, consuming both of you. You were holding your breath and you hadn’t even seemed to have noticed it, but he had. He felt drained, watching your eyes search his. There was no hiding the conflict in yours, he could see it, all he needed was for you to be honest with him.
You felt nothing but guilty as you looked at him, knowing the truth was, you didn’t want to stop, but more so that you had to. You had been foolish to think you could have it all, and it was all finally coming down. As you looked at him, his eyes pleading with you to give him the answer that he wanted to hear, you just couldn’t say goodbye to him, not yet. Ignoring every sensible thought that you had, you leaned up against him, brushing your lips against his neck, hesitating for a single moment before kissing his soft skin, clenching your eyes shut as you moved them down the side of his throat.
He couldn’t help but fall into place, hoisting you up into his arms, clumsily pushing you into the nearest empty room, backing you up against a sturdy wall. Small gasps like moans trickled from his lips as you continued your attack on him, sucking, biting, licking his skin until any type of mark blossomed. Your fingers curl into his hair, desperate to pull yourself closer to him, your body, firmer against his. Rolling your hips against him, all of the fabric of his robes, obstructing you from what you really needed, the friction that you so desperately craved. Groaning in frustration, he lowers you to the ground, pulling back from you the moment your feet touch down.
“Take these off..” He demands, something in his voice dripping with lust, as he reaches for his own hem to his pants, tugging them down, letting them fall to his ankles. You bite down on your lip, letting out the softest whimper as you catch sight of his cock, hard, thick, and leaking drops of precum. It takes nearly all of your willpower not to just drop to your knees, take it graciously into the palm of your hand, and let your tongue glide around it, licking up every little bead that formed and dribbled down his length, running your tongue over that prominent vein. He was staring at you, that look of pained authority on his face, as he waited for you to do as you had been told. “Now.”
You fumbled quickly with your trousers, pulling them off and kicking them aside, already long forgotten. He stared at you, knowing what this meant, what this gesture meant. After this encounter, it was done, left on both of you like a permanent stain. Anakin moved forwards, slotting his lips against yours, kissing you with such fervour and passion that your back and head hit the wall with a soft thump, his hands gliding up your inner thighs, feather-light touches. With each whine and whimper that left you, his hand came closer and closer to your aching cunt, his fingers gliding through your fold collecting every ounce of arousal that pooled between your legs, gently spreading it around as he slowly worked your clit, taking in your sharp gasps.
“Why would you want to stop this, when I can make you a mess with a few simple touches?” He murmured against your cheek, starting to leave his own trail of kisses on your delicate skin. “When you clearly crave me the same way I crave you…” he was talking to that part of you, the part that wanted him more than life itself. Appealing to it as best he could in hopes of changing your mind, making you see the reason that he dwelled on, and it was working. Anakin curled two thick fingers into your tight hole, smiling against the shell of your throat when you moaned deeply, your walls instantly clenching around his fingers as if they were begging him to never leave, and he could think of nothing more than the feeling of your soft walls milking his cock the way they had been his fingers.
“When I can make you feel this good?” Thumbing at your clit while he pumped his fingers inside of you, kissing down the side of your neck.
“Ani..” you mutter, not sure of what you intended to say. There was something about hearing his name on your tongue that drove him mad. Spoke to the most carnal parts of him, and then it was the way you spoke it so softly, like it was something so pure. He wasn’t sure how he was going to be able to let you go after this, he toyed with the idea of not allowing it at all but he couldn’t force you, he knew that. Anakin pulled himself from you, hand wrapping around his cock. Gliding the tip through your folds gathering your slick, watching your mouth fall open in anticipation, your fingers clawing into the fabric of his robes. Your eyes were pleading with him, begging him to fill you with every inch he had to offer, satisfying that feeling of emptiness that his fingers had left.
“Tell me what you want. Tell me and it's yours.”
Hard against your entrance, waiting for nothing more than the words to fall from your perfect lips, he stilled, his eyes searching yours for that familiar sense of warmth and invitation that they always held, and there it was, hidden behind the fear and longing. Pushing against you ever so slightly, the head of his cock now nestled into your aching cunt. He needed to hear it just as much as did, he needed for you to still want him and nothing more, he was desperate.
“you, Anakin, I need yo-”
It was more than enough, music to his ears as the words fell from your lips, almost like a prayer, and he couldn’t wait anymore. Anakin housed you up in his arms, pinning you against the wall once more, as he lined himself up to your entrance. His eyes met yours, searching for any sign of regret, finding none. With one snap of his hips, he forced the full length of his cock into your needy cunt, and with another, he had your head falling back against the wall, eyes clenched shut, as a deep breathy moan left your lips at the delicious stretch of him. His eyes consumed every expression that lined your features as he pulled out of you, watching that sense of panic over the thought of him leaving you empty and unsatisfied, only for him to sink back into your soaking pussy, causing you to let out nothing but pleasure-filled sounds. There was no holding back the particularly high-pitched moans that were being ripped from you, sounds that surely someone would hear if they walked by, with each precise thrust of his hips. Sounds that resided deep in your chest begging to break free.
He captured your lips, moans, and whimpers, in a clash of needy tongues, and teeth, silencing the flow of sounds that left you. He wanted to hear every blissful sound that you made at his expense, but he couldn’t risk someone coming in and stopping this moment, ripping it from him faster than it had begun. You wrapped your legs around his middle, craving even more, drunk on the feeling of how utterly full you felt, how deep his cock nestled inside of you, hitting that sweet spot as if he had known it his whole life.
“Why should we have to give this up….” He mutters through clenched teeth, his thrust becoming harder, “I won’t..I can’t..” he groans, burying his head into the crook of your neck, sucking at the delicate skin. He meant that. He would rather die than be without you and he needed you to know that. Your nails dug into his back, fisting at the fabric of his tunic that you wished wasn’t there, allowing you to feel his heated skin so perfectly pressed against yours. Clinging to him as each well-placed thrust forced you harder against the wall. He was the only thing you had to sturdy yourself.
The sound of his skin slapping against yours filled your ears, mixed with his desperate moans, and grunts, clouding your judgement rather quickly. Every word he said, every question he asked you, made you second guess. How could you want to give this up? The truth was, you didn’t want to, never. And even now, with him pressed deliciously against you, beads of sweat falling from his brow, while a thin film-like layer coats your skin, his cock so perfectly buried inside of you as if it was made for you, you couldn’t imagine being without him, and you knew that.
You wanted to tell him that you took it back, that you didn’t mean any of it, but you couldn’t seem to find the words. It’s like they were stuck in your throat unable to surface and all that came out was lewd sounds. Your fingers card through his hair, tugging on it so that he was staring up at you, his open mouth pressed against yours as you moaned into it, stealing kisses here and there. You urged him on, soft whine-like pleads and encouragement left you the quicker his pace came, his fingers gliding up your bare-tired thighs, to the apex of them, the spot where you needed him the most. Deft fingers flicked against your clit, as you took in sharp inhales of breath, as he drew tight and precise circles into it.
He treated your body as if he knew it, knew it better than you ever could, like he knew just what to do and when to do it, to have you melting like a puddle at his touch.
“Fuck, ani-“ you moan. There it was again, that beautiful sound of his name on your tongue, falling from it like it was sweet honey, urging him on, begging for more and more. His head falls forward, groaning deliciously at the way you took him so well. Good, so fucking good.
“The things you do to me, woman..” he groans, getting drunk on the way his cock dragged inside you, the perfect amount of friction for his head to fog. You felt that familiar coil of warmth settling in your lower abdomen, surging through you with each thrust. You were close, so utterly close. “Ani I’m close…just like tha-“ You couldn’t even finish the sentence before your climax burst through you. Your pussy spasms around his length, a soft submissive sob escapes you. Seeing you like this, feeling the way your walls clench around him, gave him a slice of madness, a need to pound into you at a faster speed, desperate to see you become a stuttering mess, begging for him to stop. Sound after sound, profanity after profanity left you, your body, torn between needing more of him, and yet not. Your fingers clawing into his shoulders. “Ani-” Your whimper of his name was nothing but breathy. You couldn’t think straight, all you could see was him, all you could feel and think was him and only him, as each pulsing wave of pleasure washed over you.
Anakin had no intention of letting you down too quickly, letting you catch a breath. Pushing you through your high, reviling in the way your body convulsed under his. Your head thrown back and eyes desperately clenched, your mouth hanging open and moaning after moan escaped you.
“Ani-s’too much…” you whine, feeling every nerve in your body sent into overdrive, every sense of yours flooded in nothing but overstimulating pleasure. Your legs shake around his body, your cunt fluttering around his length as he drills into you, swallowing up every delicious sound that leaves you. “Ani..ple-ease.” Anakin’s hand finds your chin, tilting it back down so that your face was level to his. His teeth tugging at your bottom lip.
“Not till I’ve had my fill of you..” he pants, tightening his grasp on you, pinning you even firmer against him and the wall as if you could go anywhere. You let out a soft whimper as yet another wave rushes over you, and you take to silencing yourself by catching him in a heated kiss, biting down on his lip a tad too hard, feeling that metallic taste of blood against your tongue, feeling that strange sense of satisfaction overhearing him groan rather loudly. You could feel him pushing you over the edge towards a second orgasm, but your mind and body were already starting to feel numb. Drunkenly hazy over the way he was determined to overstimulate you. His fingers were relentless against your tired and abused clit, surges of ecstasy rippling through the entirety of your body. You could hear him saying something, but you had no way of comprehending the words leaving him.
Anakin was reaching his end, his well-measured thrusts were becoming sloppy, but not once did they waiver in their mission. The only thing keeping him grounded was listening to the way you begged him, your body begged him for one more, but as your legs shuttered around him and your pussy clenched around him, he couldn’t help but spill into you. Warm thick ropes of cum soothing your abused walls, as he too shuttered, head buried into your chest, strings of profanities and praises leaving his lips like a prayer.
His hands squeezed your aching thighs, as you relentlessly tightened them around his waist, almost as if you didn’t want him to release you, to pull out of you. His pace slowed, thrusts becoming more like desperate spurts as he pulled yet another orgasm from you. His name falls from your lips as it spread throughout you. Anakin stilled inside you, listening to the sound of your stuttering heart, beating rapidly as it slowed back to its normal pace, while your fingers carded through his hair, in such a soothing manner. Neither one of you wanted to move, to come back to the crippling reality that you resided in. He could stay the way he was forever, blissfully wrapped up in your presence, and you, you could do the same. Feeling his warm protective body, holding you so desperately close.
After what felt like an eternity, he set you down, holding you up with a gentle squeeze of your hips. You didn’t dare look him in the eyes, knowing that if you did, you would crumble. You knew what you wanted, but as of right now, you could see no clear way of having it, not without surrendering everything else. You wanted nothing more than to say fuck it, give yourself over to him permanently, but you didn’t know how. How to let go and do just that. Pulling your pants back on and righting yourself, you take a deep bated breath. His gaze lingered on you, the painstaking look of loss on his features.
“Ani-I…I’m sorry…”
“I know..” he speaks, his voice breaking just a little.
You thought that perhaps you’d find your way back to him, and perhaps it would be sooner than you anticipated, falling back into the addicting pattern you had created, and maybe this time it would go further, but for now, you wouldn’t. Wiping the tears from your face, you take a long, painful look at him, before exiting the silent room, not daring to look back.
#Anakin Skywalker#anakin skywalker smut#anakin smut#anakin skywalker x reader#anakin skywalker x y/n#anakin skywalker imagine#starwars#star wars#ani skywalker#anakin skywalker angst#anakin skywalker x you#anakin skywalker x reader smut#obi wan kenobi#starwars fanfic#anakin fanfiction#smut#angst
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Idea I've had for highschool sweetheart to make könih further rot in guilt because it's silly and amusing that I simply had to share <3
In cliques of the nature of his bullies there are always the internal dynamics people outside don't see. Like how one person is never felt true compliments, only back handed ones if not just straight up insults. Fed lies about how no one else would ever be friends with them, the punching bag of within the clique to keep the glue of the group strong and firm. Naturally it would have been the shyest and most bookish person within the group. But you've known these people your entire life they didn't always act like this they used to be kind and good. (right? they, they were kind once right?) so day dreams become an escape because how could anyone be friends with you? How could anyone tolerate you? Especially after you were around the clique, how could you ever approach the quiet boy who you knew they picked on. He must hate you. You longed to be friends (don't delude yourself you didn't wish to be friends you wished to be lovers but start small right). How could you ever approach him. And then graduation comes and you're abandoned. You can heal and begin to find your personhood. You can pick the shattered pieces of your confidence up off the floor and glue your life back together. It takes years but eventually you gather up the courage to reach out to the boy after he misses the reunion. You want to apologize for your passivity at least. You must after all. (You were children and both victims in your own right but how could this ever be spoken of? You must play the role of the bystander because who would ever believe otherwise? You may have healed but there are still cracks of course.) and much later maybe he learns all this, maybe he reads it in a journal or a letter addressed to him, maybe you finally get the courage to tell him. And the guilt and rot grows like fungus over his heart, eating his anger alive and churning out something like grief in return. Not that you'd noticed the anger, you just saw the second chance, of course he would be wary of you, of course he would have changed over the decade, but a decade of growth was only done on the foundation of the boy you loved before. How could you not love the man he's become now?
tee hee I'm going insane I hope you enjoy my little ramble
Yes yes yes the delicious reveal of how it was for her, that she wasn’t having a happy time in the clique, that she, too, was suffering! ❤️🩹
In my opinion König would eventually come to his senses. If we’re treating this scenario with actual seriousness, he would eventually see that what he’s doing is useless and stupid and hurtful and unjust to both of them. I mean he’s clinically insane, he’s nasty and troubled and traumatized and works for a fucking PMC and tortures people but... he’s not rotten to the core. König is like a stray dog that bites if it feels like it’s about to get cornered and beaten again, and that’s his viewpoint with high school sweetheart actually. It may sound silly and misplaced but he’s just too triggered to see that he’s about to do a royal fuck-up with her.
And the unbearable shame when he realizes? When he faces the thing he has become? It’s simply too much to bear, he has worked so hard on himself & to put that shit behind him, he’s built confidence from scratch, he’s built actual, physical muscle just to feel better about himself, he probably joined the military because it was his middle finger to the world. Yes, he had aspirations and actual passions concerning the sniper dream but he’s also driven by this need to prove a shitload of people wrong.
And in walks this babe who reminds him of a time when he was nothing. Absolutely nothing. How do you love that? Because ultimately, it means you have to love yourself and who you were before you became the incredible Austrian Hulk. At the core of it is a 6 feet deep insecurity because König doesn’t feel he’s worthy of her at all.
I think the only thing that would cleanse his heart from pain is the revelation that she suffered too. As sad as it is, that’s what makes his heart crack open because then he gets to play the savior. But then comes the “Do you still love me even if I almost turned into the monster I always battled against” part… Because König would pay her authenticity "generously" by revealing the bully he almost became. And I think that’s when high school sweetheart really needs to ask herself if she’s up for this kind of shit, if she’s actually ready to love this man who isn’t as cool and tough as she thought he was, who is deeply flawed and resentful and childish and cruel.
Part of her probably knows that already and even loves his flaws, but loving König is like loving that stray dog. He’s gonna bring fleas and dried-up mud into your house eventually. Especially if you feed him and give him a scratch… Put a nice, cosy bed for him by the fire... Tell him he's cute when he whines next to your bed... Teach him it’s ok to prefer to sleep with you instead :/
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sneaking out - t.c x fem!reader
posted jan 21st, 2024 10:50 am
@dingus85 asked : May I request a Tara Carpenter x fem!reader based on Cruel Summer- Taylor Swift where they have been sneaking out to the beach every night (scenario 5). This time they’re just being stupid, and reader accidentally confesses that she likes her. Somewhere in the fic Tara uses one liner 18.
im so sorry for the wait love, I hope u enjoy.
masterlist
not proofread
wordcount: 0.9k
It was Chad’s idea to have one big group vacation for the summer, a simple nearly 50-hour road trip from New York to California. A few weeks on the beach to help everyone recover from the first semester of college and some time for Sam and Tara to learn how to be away from each other again.
Every small-town kid needs a Beach Vacation, right? Well actually, your plans for the summer were to find a good job but just when you wanted to argue, Mindy pointed out that you could share a room with Tara, and Tara responded by clapping her hands together, smiling at you and
“We’ll have so much fun!”
How could you say no to that?
Everyone had taken turns driving, except for Mindy, her job was to make sure everyone had enough snacks and to ensure you’d make it to the Airbnb in one piece.
You were lucky enough to find one on the beach, giving easy access to the water and the sand that Mindy soon found to be an incredible nuisance, Anika was enjoying the chance to dress up in different beach weather outfits and there was also the perfect spot to play volleyball which Chad forced everyone to do.
And then there were you and Tara, you had the same favorite part of this vacation and it was the late-night bonfires.
You had only one with all of you involved but the following night you both snuck out together to start up another one, and this quickly became routine for the both of you.
You couldn’t help but enjoy this silly game you were playing in your head even if Tara didn’t realize you were playing at all. Sharing a bed, waking up early enough to make breakfast, making the bed, and taking turns to shower after beach days just to sneak off and come back smelling like firewood.
It was perfect for you, and maybe it was for Tara too, but obviously, you weren’t going to ask.
Tonight was one of your last nights in California and none of you were ready to leave, except Mindy, who wanted to go home the first week. But of course, you were most worried about going home, everything would go back to normal and you could no longer live in your little bubble with Tara and her soft smiles and giggly laughs,
and your little sneak-out “dates” that were just for you and Tara.
But that just meant you had to make the most of it, which leads you outside sitting on an old beach towel next to the pretty girl, watching the pit of flames dance before your eyes.
“I’m not ready to go home yet, I like sneakin’ out with you.” Tara’s voice caught your attention, turning to look at her as she spoke. She was thinking the same as you. “We could always sneak out together back in New York” You spoke in the same quiet tone, as if you weren’t allowed to speak louder than the sound of the sea.
Tara pouted, “It’s not the same, though.” Oh. You nodded in agreement looking back at the fire.
“I wanna go swimming,” She said suddenly, standing up and taking off her sweater, well your sweater, you had let her wear. “Tara, you’ll freeze” You smiled, knowing she wouldn’t listen anyway as she was already walking towards the water, tossing her sweatpants to you as you laughed.
You watched amused as she eventually made it to the water, she hesitated, “C’mon, my girl Tara Carpenter doesn’t back down from stupid stuff!” You called out in a teasing tone, hearing her laugh as she threw her head back before running straight into the water, “Holy shit!” she yelled, squealing as she resurfaced.
You laughed as Tara ran back up to you, soaking wet and gratefully thanking you as you put the towel around your shoulders. “That was so stupid” she laughed, shivering slightly as you rubbed her arms, laughing with her as you attempted to warm her up.
“That is why I like you so much” You had barely noticed the words come out as Tara’s smile softened, staring at you with a tilted head and puppy dog eyes. “What?” Tara’s voice was quieter now, still having a slightly shaky tone as she was still freezing.
“What?” you repeated the question, you could backtrack, sure but Tara wasn’t stupid, she wouldn’t believe that no matter how well you sold it she saw it in your eyes,
you’re so screwed, you almost laughed.
“What did you say? You like me?” Tara’s grip on the towel tightened a little, that soft look on her face capturing you the way it always did. You opened your mouth to speak but closed it, not knowing how to explain yourself in a way that made sense but Tara spoke up instead.
“Come here and kiss me, dummy” She smiled, and you didn’t want to waste any time as your hands moved to her face and pulled her in, cold, soft lips hitting yours as if they were meant to be on yours. Tara abandoned the towel to hold your wrists.
“You are so catching a cold,” You said through heavy breaths earning a sweet laugh in response.
“Yeah, but you’ll take care of me.” you smiled at that because obviously you would.
“Yeah, I will.” You said, Tara smiled back.
“I think I will sneak out with you back in New York.”
#tara carpenter x reader#tara carpenter x you#tara carpenter x y/n#tara carpenter x female reader#scream x reader#scream imagines#scream imagine#scream fanfiction#tara carpenter imagine#Spotify
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Something that randomly came to mind...
Enjoy!
(NSFW below the cut; espadas included: 1, 3, 4, 5, 6, 8 & Neliel)
Struggled a bit with 8, so forgive me. 😭
Types of Doms they are:
Starrk
This man has got exactly two modes when it comes to sex. Lazy or feral.
He's willing to do a lot with you, but if you catch him in his lazy mode you'll likely be doing most of the work.
Ride him, suck him, hell he'll even give you oral if you both find the right positions for him to laze a out.
Just remember: It's not that he isn't enjoying himself; that rock hard dick proves otherwise...
You knew what you were getting into.
Now then, switching gears: when he's feral, he'll barely let you move.
He's making you cum a minimum of one time before he's even going to penetrate you in any way.
He gets very possessive in this state.
Congratulations! You've essentially got a werewolf boyfriend who's usually lazy and can't transform like that...
But! When he needs to claim you for whatever reason? Welp!
Communication is key with this man! He doesn't mind if you have multiple partners, but he can get a bit jealous if you don't tell him!
Hell, you'll find out on more than one occasion, when someone flirts with you...
He'll bring you home and claim you all night long.
He might not even make it home.
Just... Keep him in the loop if you're crushing or plan to date another. it'll probably save some furniture.
Halibel
As she can't quite use her mouth outside of being in her release form, she's had time to master plenty of other ways to get you off.
She prefers to use her hands and fingers on you, but is not opposed to toys in anyway.
That's primarily for when she's doing any for of penetration on you, though.
She has learned to use any and every part of her body to be able to tease you and leave you squirming and begging for her.
Don't call her master. It reminds her of her fraccións.
May accept being called mommy under the right circumstances, though.
Has absolutely no issues with being called daddy.
Just sit on her lap and ask daddy politely if you can ride her thigh~
Not one to get jealous easily, but is definitely protective.
This is particularly true if you are someone who can be seen as weak to others.
Not very loud, but loves hearing how loud she can make you.
Ulquiorra
He struggles a lot with more human like needs and emotions
So he tends to be a heavy service top...
But it comes with so many questions.
"Why does your face warm when I kiss you?"
"Why do you avert your gaze when I-"
You get the idea.
Eventually once repeated behaviors rise up, he starts catching on.
When you make this sound, it means you really like it.
When you squirm, you're not actually trying to get away.
Just simple stuff, but you'll have had to explain it to him a bit before he starts connecting the dots.
Once he's more comfortable with you and starts recognizing these reactions...
You're in for it.
He's definitely someone who gets off on your pleasure.
As long as you're satisfied, so is he.
Nnoitra
He surprisingly doesn't mind being the one to do all the work.
It let's him be in control of, well, everything.
There's something about seeing how much you get off on everything he does to you that drives the predator in him wild.
He enjoys having control, and, having you submit to let him do whatever he wants is too delicious to pass up.
Plus, he can't help but enjoy the way you always act like such cute little prey when he's teasing you.
Those big doe eyes, the small squeaky and whiny noises you make...
The way he can make you come undone with almost any part of his body...
It's very >:))
Not entirely against sharing, but like with Starrk, if it's not discussed he can get a bit jealous
His jealousy, however, is usually more rage fueled than hormonal so watch out for that.
He's not too into being called anything "special"
May accept "daddy" now and again
Despite how kinky sex with him might be-- it is fueled by emotions (at least on his end)
You've sparked his interest in one way or another enough to warrant wanting to carnally claim you...
There's at least some attachments and calling him "master" immediately throws that out the window to him.
Grimmjow
He definitely still has some characteristics from his more beastial hollow form
His need to claim you is always in battle with his desire to see you submit to him
Kneel before the king and offer him a blowjob, he's grinning wider than Nnoitra
Seeing you beg him to pleasure you is just 😘
Part of the problem with him is that it's a bit difficult for him to give oral... Given that he has to be very conscious of every move he makes because of his hollow mask
But he is a god with his hands.
He's another one who likes to watch you ride his thighs.
Absolutely gets off on being called king, but will absolutely bust a nut if you refer to him as your husband (romantic partner ofc)
This is at it's worst before any kind of marriage, but it's still effective after.
Doesn't see the appeal in being called daddy until he *is* a daddy 👀 something about being one makes it kinkier to him for you to call him daddy
Szayel
A bit different from the others on the list in that he wants to be worshipped like a god.
He wants you to use your entire body to do so, but this is just the first act-- no form of penetration just yet. (Minus maybe deep throating him~)
Now, once that's all done he's got PLENTY of ways to pleasure you...
He's definitely into orgasm denial and overstimulation.
He likes testing your body~
If you're willing, definitely would do some experimenting...
He wouldn't do anything too drastic, though.
If not, he'll find a way to make some of his palatable for you~
You really should thank him for thinking of you.
So/so with names. The higher status the name gives him, the more he'll like it.
Neliel
Dommy mommy 🥰
She absolutely loves to spoil you during kinky times together
Another one who gets off more on your pleasure than her own
If you're not a pillow prince(ss) type of sub, she will boss you around a bit~
But she's so sweet when she does that it just has you melting at her every word
"What was that, baby? Tell mommy what you want~"
She might tease you with that one by having you with a gag in your mouth or other things 🤭
Absolutely does get off on taking care of you
Dotes on you, takes great lengths into making sure you're comfortable during aftercare!
Doesn't matter how you compare size wise to her, she's holding you on her and letting you rest your head on her chest
Makes an amazing pillow ngl
#bleach#bleach imagines#bleach imagine#bleach anime#bleach headcanon#bleach headcanons#bleach headcannon#bleach headcannons#x reader#my writing#my imagines#my hcs#bleach hcs#coyote starrk#tier halibel#ulquiorra bleach#ulquiora schiffer#ulquiorra cifer#nnoitra bleach#nnoitora#nnoitra jiruga#nnoitra gilga#grimmjow bleach#grimmjow jaegerjaquez#grimmjow jaggerjack#szayelaporro granz#bleach szayel#neliel tu oderschvank
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The Story of Sin [UPDATE 4/27/2024]
Find the demo here.
Link to the main post here.
Hey guys!
Welp, I finished the chapter just in time for this month’s update. 😅 I really liked this chapter, though… Things are starting to not be ok for Sin, mentally, and I always love writing things like that
In this chapter, you…
Pick up that small creature! [And NOT hurt it!! Good job!! 👏]
Hang out with Murmur for a bit and learn a bit more about yourself
Hurt Murmur’s feelings :( [It’s ok, you can apologize!]
Have another strange dream
Upset Will. :( [It’s ok again! You can apologize… Eventually.]
Hang out with Murmur and Anya for a bit.
Some things- I’m slowly changing the look of the whole game. Now that some ✨THEMES✨ are settling in, I’m able to actually make the IF look a little prettier. I have some other art I will be adding later, when something in particular happens in the story, so get ready for that as well! [Also, this is random, but I realize that I’ve never mentioned this… The beautiful hand/forehead model for the SoS banner is my lovely little sister. Just wanted to throw that out there! 😂] I am also introducing a secret stat 👀 I’m not entirely sure how I want it to look on the stat page, so right now it’s just a number that will either go up or down depending on some of your choices. So, until I figure out how I want it to look…… Enjoy just a random number on the stats page. 😂
Also! If you are interested in being a beta-tester/proofreader, please send me a message on tumblr. Or, if you don’t have a tumblr, just send me an email. [email protected] Please only message me if you are serious in beta-testing or being a proofreader. I’m not really picky about how much experience you have, but I do want people who would actively be helping me correct things like grammar, bugs, coding errors, etc. Oh! Also, you will need a discord account to be a beta-tester or proofreader. That’s the only requirement!!
And, since it’s been a hot second and I have a lot more followers now… If you are able to, and like my art/works to the point that you would like extra content, please consider becoming a patron, or buying me a kofi! I know times are tough right now, so it’s totally fine if you can’t donate anything. But even just sharing/liking/commenting/etc. Are other ways you can help support me. But, if you do have a few dollars you can spare a month, I have tiers on patreon ranging from $1-$5- you get extra content that you can request, and early access to updates and whatnot!
One more thing! I was just able to get this month’s update done, but I definitely think May’s update might not happen. 🥺 Midterms are next week, AND I’ll be going on a small vacation to Portland, OR. for about a week at the start of May… So I may not have enough time to put together the update for next month! I’ll let you guys for sure when the time comes, but I just wanted to let you know now in case it ends up happening! Thank you for being patient and understanding. ☺️
See you all next update!
CURRENT WORD COUNT: 45,725 52,969 [+7,244]
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Your soul is a student 🌟 … what is it learning? 🔍
Hello lovelies 😝 ! Today we’re going to divine why your soul ⚛️ incarnated on earth . So take a few deep breaths then use your intuition to pick an image. Let’s get started💜!
✨ Pick - A - Picture ✨
Look at how gorgeous these images are 😍!
Picture 1 💜
#51 Sound of the Universe, 5 of Swords Reverse, The Moon, Queen of Coins, Knight of Swords, 9 of Coins,
Group 1 your soul is here to explore the music of life! 🥹🎶 This pile reminds me of the saying “March to the beat of your own drum “. Channeled song:
I’m hearing right now you’re creating your own soundtrack for your life’s journey. Music is going to be a type of portal for your soul. My guides said that you should use music to heal your chakras if you haven’t already. It can help you find your authentic self. You have the ability to use music to shift and create your reality. You also have great potential to be a pioneer in the music industry. I’m hearing you could create/discover an entirely new genre of music 🎼 .Your soul is attracted to music because it soothes and brings peace to it☮️. You could also enjoy listening to music while working on another creative/artistic passion 🎨 . Music could enhance your creativity thus enhancing your projects. I’m also seeing you might find new ways to use music to heal others 🫂 🥹! Your spread is advising you to keep experiencing/experimenting with your connections to music 🖋️. Explore what music means to you. 💃
Confirmations: Yellow butterflies/birds 🐦🦋 , 111, 333, garden pinwheels, ballet 🩰, tuning forks, dowsing rods, watermelon 🍉, ladybugs 🐞 , bells 🔔, water 💧 sounds
Picture 2 💜
#20 Sound the Mind, 4 of Cups, The Magician, Knight of Coins, 8 of Swords, 4 of Coins, King of Cups
Group 2 , you all are my alien superstars👽🌟. Channeled song:
Your energy is otherworldly 🛸 🌌! I feel like you are a starseed. Your soul is very empathetic. I’m envisioning your soul as a child of the stars ⭐️ . You may feel lonely and misunderstood. Or possibly as though you don’t belong here. You’re not wrong about being different. You’re 🎶UNIQUE🎶 ! I’m seeing that your soul desires to share it’s divine wisdom. Specifically about the potential of the mind 🧠 . 👁️ In your own way, you will teach others how to free themselves. But first you have to break through your own self limiting beliefs, fears and negative patterns 🌀. Your mind is very flexible and quick with thoughts 💭 . On the other hand, you’re someone with a lot of mental chatter! You might be so overwhelmed with your thoughts that they eventually hinder your decisions🌪️. For example, you could feel pressured to make a lot of decisions in the heat of the moment. Which you then find out were the wrong choice. I’m hearing that you will find all the answers you need once you learn to quiet your mind. You can start connecting with your inner wisdom by taking as long as you can before making decisions. Mastering your mental/emotional selves and spreading that wisdom is very important to your soul. Your knowledge will aid in elevating the collective consciousness!
Confirmations: meditation, yoga 🧘♀️, self-care 🧖🏽♀️, vacations, pearls, crystals , animal-lover, empath, old soul, constellations, astrology, astronomy 🔭, astral projection, the color indigo, feeling like you’re running out of time ⌛️ , headaches/migraines, multiple past-lives
Picture 3 💜
#48 Surrender, Temperance, 5 of Swords, 3 Swords, The Wheel of Fortune, The Tower, 10 of Cups, 9 of Coins
Immediately, I’m feeling that your soul is here for a simple reason. Channeled song:
The human experience! Your soul craves to understand the lows and highs of the human experience. From humanity and death to relationships and society. Your soul is here to experience it ALL and then TRANSCEND. For some of you, I feel that you have a phoenix as a spirit animal. I’m imagining you rising from your ashes. You may notice that common themes throughout your life include renewal and rebirth. I definitely feel Scorpio ♏️ /Libra ♎️ placements could be significant. Your soul will come to understand the importance of both endings and beginnings. You will have alot of tower moments through life. No matter what you will always emerge stronger than ever. I was struggling to remember who your energy reminded me of and it’s Wanda!⬇️ ⬇️ ⬇️
Wanda’s story is very similar especially with her experiences involving grief, loss, vulnerability, finding her way through life, etc. We’re told that the scarlet witch is forged and not born. I feel that your soul is creating and shaping this particular human experience. Be cautious though. Don’t let your human experiences break your soul.
Confirmations: ants 🐜 , roses 🌹, vultures, roadkill, daffodils, recent breakup❤️🩹, 🕷️ , something burning 🔥 , mermaids, peacocks 🦚, lotus 🪷 flower, bow and arrow 🏹, rapunzel 👑, anklets, tattoos/piercings, death of a loved one, dejá vu, north node
Thanks so much 😽!!
#Spotify#tarot#tarot reading#tarotblr#tarot reader#tarot related#tarot cards#tarot online#free tarot#free tarot readings#pick a photo#pick an image#pick a card#pick a pile reading#pick a picture#pick a pile#pick a group#intuitive readings#oracle reading#pac tarot#tarot community#divination#divination readings#fortune telling#cartomancy#intuitive
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I’d like to be optimistic and say this will be short and sweet, however it has grown increasingly apparent that I do nothing by half measures. I suppose if you’re going to do a job - do it properly. Go big or go home, right?
I’m trying to learn how to set healthy boundaries, which is extremely challenging for an empath that feels everything as deeply as I do and has been through the things that I’ve been through. I suppose my need to people please stems from wanting to help and lighten the load in anyway possible for the people I care deeply about at the expense of my own peace. It’s even more unbearable when I have walked in their shoes with and know what it’s like when you have nowhere to turn to, unfortunately helping doesn’t always go the way I intend but at-least I can say I tried and gave it my all, and by doing so leaves my conscious clear and unburdened. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve had my fair share of awful things in my life, some worse than others and some that have left lasting scars that I’m still sowing up- but I actually quite like me, however I acknowledge that there’s always room for improvement. I have a long list of things that I can’t change but would happily sell my soul to the devil to alter. I’m slowly coming to terms with the fact that some things aren’t meant to be changed and that no response is a response. Let’s be honest, you can’t be everyone’s cuppa tea otherwise you’d be a mug.
You ever known what you needed to do but struggled to find the strength to do it? That’s the current predicament I’m faced with. The past few weeks I’ve had a lot of time to digest and reflect on the changes that have happened in my life - recent and not so recent changes. Up until recently, I considered myself to be a healed woman but I realise now that healing isn’t a linear path and the more I experience different things, the more I realise I’m still on that healing journey - and that’s ok, being honest with myself about it is probably the best thing I can do. I like to think I always look for best in people, that I can feel the good in them. But like with anything in this universe, there must be balance and everything that goes up, must come down eventually... I see the undesirable and distasteful flaws too, I don’t look at the world through a looking glass and I’m not as naive as some people may choose to believe. I have this uncanny ability to read people like books, and without a doubt my silence gets mistaken for an absence of knowledge, when it’s quite the opposite in fact. I’m a firm believer that you shouldn’t open your mouth and comment on something unless you know it’s accurate and have the ability to back it up. So with that statement, if you are on the receiving end of me opening my mouth about a subject, then prepare to be slapped with the unbias, and unadulterated truth - which as we know, can be more cold and callous than any lie. Everything I do, I do for a reason. I strategically and methodologically analyse every situation and every possible outcome of it so I am able to understand it but ultimately protect myself. One of my favourite quotes is that ‘the truth always prevails in the end’ and boy does it ever.
It grows more evident the older I get that this ability I have to read people is an unconscious decision that stems from being hyper vigilant. It does present its problems though, like causing the feeling of being constantly stuck between the stages of fight, flight or freeze, it’s a blessing and a curse - one would say oxymoronic at its true core. Life has always been so black and white for me, and learning grey has been exhausting, both mentally and physically but truly worth it in hindsight. Im allowing colour to trickle back into my life slowly though and it’s given me the foresight to see the world (and the people in it) in a different light, just like a kaleidoscope. Up until a few years ago, I was always so sure of the person I was, but the past few years really made me question everything I know about people… myself included. I got hurt by people that I never thought were capable of the things they did, and lost people that I thought would be in my life indefinitely. Some things have become so deeply imbedded in my soul that they occasionally weep, so I guess you could say nothing ceases to surprise me anymore. I always say that I’m going to hope for the best and prepare for the worst but preparing for the worst has become somewhat of a ritual for me and I grow evermore cautious of hope with each passing day.
Without a doubt, the biggest and hardest pill to swallow as of recent months has been that not everyone has a good heart just because I do. More importantly, just because I treat people with kindness, understanding and compassion, doesn’t mean I’ll receive the same treatment back. I’ve realised that over the past few weeks that it reflects more about them and their character, than it does me. Not everyone has the same moral compass as me, nor everyone has a big heart full of love like me and some people are only interested in saving their own skins - don’t get me wrong, there’s nothing wrong with protecting your peace. But there’s a difference between protecting your peace and remaining silent and then lying and stonewalling those individuals, especially when they try to communicate in a healthy way with you about a problem. We all mess up, but I think what’s important is owning your behaviours. It’s come to my attention that not everyone I’ve crossed paths with have spent the time looking at their own maladaptive coping mechanisms. They haven’t given themselves the respect to understand or recognise where the dysregulation stems from, and as a direct result from that, it allows for an inability to correct their behaviour at its root stem and be better in the future - so they are just stuck in the same cycles. I’ve realised that you can lead a horse to water but you can’t make them drink, and if this is the bed they chose to make then let them sleep in it. Theres nothing wrong with feeling emotions in that precise moment though and giving yourself time to sit in your grief, but I emphasise that no joy ever comes from wallowing in them for prolonged periods of time and there is a time where you will have to deal with those feelings and situations head on before they swallow you whole.
I think for now I’ll enjoy sitting back, remaining humble and continue to people watch. They say time heals all wounds but I think time only gives us the ability to reflect and process those wounds. If we don’t deal with the monsters under our beds, and the damage they cause to ourselves and others, then they never really go away - they just get better at hiding by wearing a mask. Inevitably, they always trickle back in and just like clockwork, they always come full circle. Poetically, it’s always at the least desirable moment and before you know it, you’re weeping through the cuts you scrambled so desperately to bandage. The right path is not always the path with least resistance, we all know what we need to do but it’s just finding the strength to do it. You really do get back what you put into the universe.
#Healing#people pleaser#heartbreak#trauma#therapy#abuse survivor#mental health#positive mental attitude#psychology#mental illness#friendship breakup
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