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#YOU DA ONE THAT I DREAM ABOUT ALWAYS
chirpsythismorning · 1 year
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Noah is the most serious unserious person on the planet 🤣🤣🤣
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noxtivagus · 2 years
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T__T final fantasy
#🌙.rambles#bruh i remember why i'm so romantic now#i hate final fantasy................#BUT GOD THE LYRICS OF. SUTEKI DA NE. EYES ON ME. MELODIES OF LIFE. KISS ME GOOD-BYE. SOBBBBBBB#i want to throw my phone or my laptop across my room! bury my head in a pillow n scream!#the the. EMOTION IN THEM. hurts just the way i like it lol#STAR-CROSSED ? OH MY GOD I HATE FINAL FANTASY FOR MAKING THAT ONE OF MY FAV TROPES WTF#THIS IS SO EMBARRASSING REALIZING HOW ROMANTIC I AM BCS OF INFLUENCES LIKE FINAL FANTASY#'darling so share with me / your love if you have enough / your tears if you're holding back / or pain if that's what it is'#'just reach me out then you will know that you're not dreaming' i will Cry#this is so cringe n i've always been a bit 'weird' but#sob hermes ffxiv kin bcs i still fit in thanks to my kindness n my intelligence . but it feels lonely#frankly as long as i stop caring about that n just really focus on just being myself as i always have. i'll definitely be happier .#be closer to that inner peace. n while i definitely keep on improving in that regard. i got the mindset n all#it's hard still bcs i can tell there's smth that's holding me back significantly. am i afraid that i'll be left out? alone?#i don't want to be what i'm not. but i'm afraid that. everything i've already found could just go away. disappear and leave#n i'll never really find a place that stays that i belong in. i'm too young to say for sure but i think#the world was cruel then. I ALREADY HAD TRUST ISSUES THEN THANKS TO OLD FRIENDS N THEN LMFAOOO I GOT HURT MORE#this is why i love helping others ! i try to make sure that people are being listened to in convos. i try to really read n understand *you*#fuck my anxiety though n i guess that child in me's still afraid to let my guard down.#there's sm i WANT to do for others n then. added with my own self. it's so overwhelming n it often feels like i failed everyone#we all owe ourselves the same kindness we give to others. it really gets hard though. bcs god i beat myself up for not being enough#especially for others :') like god i always want to help but it gets so hard to reach out n then i get hurt even more by my incompetence#cries i got distracted but back to ff..... i hate being romantic this way bcs i cld find some witty way to.#god no wait i'm not gna bring that up
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katsu28 · 14 days
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lucky charm
pairing: lando norris x reader
summary: lando finds comfort in your presence as doubt starts to creep in before a race (2k)
warnings: minimal swearing
a/n: hi i know i'm still super new here and i'm not even sure if i'm actually going to start writing rpf but i think about this motherfucker 24/7 now and this came to me in a dream <3 let's ignore the actual way he got his ring necklace okay? okay!
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“No one saw you come in, right?” 
Lando let the door close behind him gently, a total opposite to the quickest few steps you’d ever seen him take across the small driver’s room, and he leaned over to kiss you, hard. 
You let out a squeak of surprise at the force of it, but had no hesitation in kissing him back as soon as your body caught up with your brain, arms looping around his neck to bring him down and closer to you.
Lando’s knees hit the cushions on either side of you, hands doing the same on the leather backrest, clumsy as all hell but twice as determined not to let his mouth leave yours. 
Your fingers knocked the McLaren cap right off his head as they moved into his hair, clutching at his chocolate curls on instinct like you’d done so many times before. But never here, never before one of Lando’s races, and certainly never at the risk of being caught by anyone in the facility at any given moment. 
It didn’t seem to matter to Lando, though, with the way he was kissing you like he was parched and you were the only thing that could quench his thirst. 
But given the rather frantic series of texts you’d received from him that got you here in the first place, you weren’t at all too surprised. You knew how nervous Lando got before races, and if there was something you could do, you’d never hesitate to be there for him. Especially since you were able to make it to this one. 
“Yeah,” He mumbled between kisses, panting against your lips. Somehow he’d managed to switch positions so he was the one on the sofa now and you were sitting on his lap, straddling his hips as you continued your rather sloppy makeout session. “Yeah, yeah, we’re good. ‘M sneaky like that.” 
“Had a lot of practice at this, have you?” 
“No!” It was almost comical how fast he pulled away from you to blurt out his answer. “No, not at all. I don’t know why I said that, I—” 
“I was just kidding, bub.” You chuckled, smoothing the pad of your thumb across his kiss-swollen bottom lip fondly. Lando grinned sheepishly, giving your waist a playful little pinch. You’d never get over the way he looked at you, like you were the only other person to exist in the world—especially when he was under you like this, and especially with those eyes. His baby cow eyes, you always called them. 
Even so, Lando was extremely tense, you could tell. He tended to get very in his head before races, probably why he asked you to come meet him so close to the green flag, to help him quell his nerves a little. He always said you helped him more than anything else ever could. 
“I have something for you.” You said softly. 
“Oh yeah? And what’s that?” He leaned back against the cushion, happily accepting the chaste kiss you pressed to his lips before you bounced off his lap and over to where your bag was sitting. 
You rummaged around in it for a few moments until you found what you were looking for, a triumphant grin on your face as you made your way back over to an intrigued Lando. This time you settled next to him, throwing your legs across his lap. His hand came to rest on your knee immediately. 
“Open it.” You urged, pressing the small black bag into his waiting palm. He undid the drawstring carefully, beaming even before he got a look at what was inside. That smile only grew bigger as he poured the contents of the bag into his hand. 
A thin silver chain, joined together at the ends with two interlocking rings, sleek and silver just like the rest of the necklace. Upon closer inspection, he saw numbers etched into the inside of each one. One of them, Lando recognized instantly as the date of your anniversary. The other looked like a set of coordinates, but he wasn’t too great at geography, so he looked to you for an explanation. 
“The place we first met.” 
“You looked up the coordinates of that tiny little restaurant? Nerd.” He chuckled, artfully dodging the swat you aimed his way at his teasing remark.
“It could be, like, your new lucky charm or something.” You shrugged, watching him turn the rings around carefully between his fingers. 
Lando glanced up, bumping your shoulder with his gently. “I’ve already got one.”
“You do?”
“Yeah. It’s you.” 
“Me?” 
“I like knowing you’re watching me. Even though I can’t see you, or even if you’re not here, knowing I’ve got you cheering me on from wherever you are helps. I think it makes me a better driver.” 
“Lan, you’re already a great driver.. You don’t need me for you to know that.” 
“I know. I just—it keeps me focused. To know you’re there.” He said softly, giving your hand a tight squeeze. “And now with this, I can have a piece of you with me whenever. Here, help me put it on.” 
“You can’t wear it under your suit, Lando, even I know that.”
“Alright, well, I’ll figure it out later. C’mon, put it on me.” Lando leaned forward, giving you space to bring the chain up over his head and around his neck. He even managed to sneak in another kiss whilst you followed the silver down to where the rings rested just below his collarbones. Your fingers stroked at the warm skin there, the cold of the metal contrasting.
“It looks good on you.” 
Lando melted like a popsicle on a hot summer day under your touch, smiling so big at you that you could hardly believe this was the same boy who had other drivers trembling in their fireproofs. He hoisted you back into his lap effortlessly, nosing at your pulse point a bit before smacking a kiss to your cheek when you wrapped your arm around his shoulders. “You look good on me.” 
“That was so bad. Like, really bad. I get why they call you Lando Norizz now.” 
“What?! Bad? That was so fucking smooth!” He huffed, going from looking completely smitten to entirely offended. “And I happen to have lots of rizz, thank you very much. I practically ooze rizz, love.” 
“I take it back.” You replied solemnly, patting Lando’s cheek. “That was worse.” 
“You’re so mean to me. I don’t know why I even put up with this harassment!” 
“Always so dramatic, you.” 
“I’ve got to be! How else would I be able to withstand this abuse?” 
You scoffed playfully and moved to climb off him, opting to keep a safe enough distance away so you wouldn’t be tempted to kiss him stupid. Then he’d really be late. “Don’t you have a race to prepare for, driver boy?” 
“I am,” He said earnestly, tucking his hands behind his head. You arched a skeptical brow, hands propped on your hips. 
“By hiding out in here with me?” 
“You know what they say—calm the mind, and the body will follow.” 
“I’ve literally never heard anyone say that.” 
“Well maybe people should start!” 
You huffed out an amused chuckle, crossing your arms. “Are you ready?” 
A sudden silence  blanketed the tiny room, Lando’s non response giving you all you needed to know. 
He reached out for you with a pout that you’d never been quite able to resist, fingers beckoning you back over longingly, like you were too far away for his liking. You gave in almost immediately despite previously wanting to give him space, trudging over with an overexaggerated roll of your eyes and letting yourself be pulled back onto his lap yet again. 
“I’ll be alright.” He answered finally, taking your hand in his. He fiddled with your fingers, tracing along each digit languidly and then circling his thumb over your palm—once, twice, a third time. 
This, something you’d learned quite early on in your relationship with Lando, was one of his many versions of self-soothing. The repetition of his actions proved rather calming to him, and it certainly helped that he got to feel your skin against his. 
His brows drew together in thought, furrowed and tense until you pushed your thumb into the wrinkle between them, smoothing out the scrunch. He wrapped his fingers around your wrist loosely. 
“You’re gonna do great, you know.” You insisted. 
He offered you as good of a smile as he could muster. “Yeah. I know.”  
“You’re gonna do your best, and whatever happens, you’ve got so many people who’ll be proud of you no matter what.”
“I don’t know if it’s enough.” Lando blurted, scratching at a patch on his suit. “I’ve been racing for years, and I still have no wins to show for it. It’s not fair to my team, it’s not fair to the fans. It’s not fair to you. You shouldn’t have to have a boyfriend who can’t fucking drive for shit.” 
“Lando, I’m not with you because of your job.” You said shortly, pressing your lips into a thin, unamused line. “And quite frankly, I feel hurt that you could even think I was.” 
Lando was quick to soothe, shaking his head frantically. He took both your hands in his, squeezing. “I didn’t mean it like that. I’m sorry, it’s just—I get in my head a lot. And I start to overthink, and shit comes out of my mouth that I don’t mean. I know you’re not like that, I do. I’m sorry.” 
You softened, sighing. “You could never win a race, ever, and I'd still love you all the same.”
He snorted. “Well, I’d like to win one at some point.” 
“What I meant was, I can’t speak for everyone else, but my pride for you has nothing to do with how well you do on the track, my love.” 
“Yeah?” 
“Yeah. I’m proud of you because you’re you. You’re kind and you work hard, and you try your best at everything you do. Even if the outcome isn’t what you expected, you keep at it. You keep going. That’s one of the reasons why I love you, that’s why I’m so proud of you.” 
“I’m stupid.” He groaned, tipping his head back against the couch cushions. You simply made a noise of agreement. “You’re too good to me. I love you.”
“I love you too. Now, you really need to go back to the garage. I’m sure Oscar’s sent out a search party for you at this point.” You said firmly, giving his chest a sharp poke. Lando groaned again but made to get up, shifting your legs off him so he could climb to his feet. 
“Fine. Just kick me out of my own room, why don’t you?” He huffed dramatically, swiping his hat off the floor and jamming it back over his hair. You aimed a fake kick towards him, stifling a giggle when he caught your foot and pretended to undo your laces. “Kiss?” 
“You need to leave, Lando,” You whined, batting him away gently. “I refuse to be the reason you’re late.” 
“One more. Just one more for good luck and I promise I’ll leave.” He insisted, expression pleading. You grumbled something unintelligible, reaching up begrudgingly to bring him down for one last kiss. 
Lando smiled against your lips, snaking a hand around the back of your neck to keep you in place a few beats longer than you intended. You practically had to unstick yourself from him, giving him a little shove towards the door so he’d actually leave. 
Immediately, he whirled around. “Wait, wait—”
“Lando! Go!” 
“No, no, hold on, it’s important.” He slipped his newfound chain over his head, rubbing his thumb over both rings before holding it out towards you. “Keep this safe for me?” He asked earnestly, pressing the necklace into your hands. “Can’t have my lucky charm getting lost already, can I?” 
“Give ‘em hell, number four.” You smiled, donning the necklace yourself. He beamed, blowing you a kiss as he backpedaled down the hall. "Number four on the track, number one in my heart!"
You could hear his infectious laughter echoing even as he retreated around the corner.
Lando would be fine. And if he wasn’t, he’d bounce back, like he always did. And you’d be there to support him every step of the way, like you always were. 
follow @katsu-library to be notified when i post new fics :)
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winterzsurprise · 11 months
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Take a seat || Miguel O'hara
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Pairing: Miguel O'hara x F!reader
Summary: Never in your wildest dream did you imagine having your husband ask you to sit on his face.
Tags: Face sitting, multiple orgasms, vaginal fingering, overstimulation, smut, NOT BETA READ.
Words: 1.2k
saw someone plead for this one lmao. They asked so nicely so I delivered, idk if this is how it usually goes tbh. This shit's so rushed but I guess I have to squeeze everything out before school starts again tomorrow aaaaaaaaaa
other than that, enjoy! Thank you all for your love on my fics aaaaaaaaaa im running out of header pics da;flkhwah
mi vida - my life || dios mio - my god || mi bella esposa - my beautiful wife || cariño - honey
“You want me to do what now?”
Miguel sighed exasperatedly as he facepalmed, embarrassed. “Don’t make me repeat mys—”
“No no no, I heard you loud and clear.” Which doesn’t mean you understand why all of a sudden. “But why?”
“Should I have any reason why I want you to sit on my face?”
In a gazillion universe, you’d never thought you’d hear those words come out of his lips. Sitting on his lap, you stared at the man incredulously to which he scowled at.
Usually, oral between you both are usually done with you underneath him as he pinned your thighs open and wide for him since he likes the control. To hear him ask you to sit on his face mid-foreplay shocked you.
You pinched your thigh, unconvinced by his sudden change of mind and Miguel sighed once more.
“Is it that hard to believe? Dios mio, if you don’t want to do it, just say it—”
“No no no, lay back down, I’m just processing.”
Excitement thrummed madly in your veins as you pushed the man back into the mattress. Excitement got you removing your underwear in a second before sitting back on his chest. It’s not fast enough apparently, when his strong arms hook under your legs and pull you directly on top of his lips.
Your breath got stuck into your throat. The mere feeling of his hot breath on your skin caused ripples of heat from your abdomen to your fingertips. You’ve always had orals before, it was something he’d never forget, yet there was something about sitting on top of his face that got you aroused more than ever.
“Go any slower and I would’ve thought you’d want to back out.”
“Not my fault. You’re so impatient.”
“A pretty girl sat on top of me, naked and wet, begging to be devoured. Do you think I’d ignore you, mi bella esposa?”
His dark voice, along with his fogged red eyes staring at you through his eyelash sent shivers down your spine, cheeks flushing beet red. You almost slapped the growing smirk off of his face at your flustered state.
“You’re so annoying.”
“And you smell absolutely delicious.”
His arms locked around your thighs and you immediately knew you were done.
His tongue felt like silk gliding through your folds before rolling your clit in figures of eight. You sighed, throwing your head back as pleasure slithered down your spine at his every exhale fanning your skin. 
There was something about the stings his stubbles brings as it scratches your skin along with the stimulation of his tongue that drive you crazy. 
You swear you’re not a masochist by any means, yet when it comes to Miguel, every joy, sadness, pain and pleasure felt like a reward from the high heavens that you couldn’t help but accept with gratitude.
Your hand found stability in his dark locks, pulling and tugging his head closer to your heat, causing him to groan, the vibration seeping into your bones.
His hands roamed your body as if desperate to find a treasure in the unknown, nails dragging the skin from your back and down to the globes of your ass. The sting they left in their wake stirs your nerves awake, the pain mixing in with pleasure. You sighed, falling to lean on the piles of pillows as you dragged your clit with the point of his tongue.
Miguel wandered lower, tongue rolling around the rim of your entrance, sending electric jolts down your legs. You shivered as the sensation of his fangs rubbing against your folds, always so close yet so far away.
You gasped when the appendage plunged into your entrance, his large nose pushing into your clit as he pulled you closer to his face.
“Fuck…!”
“You taste divine.” He groaned. “Give me more.”
Bringing his hand down hard onto your ass, you whined. The stinging pain it left had your body singing for more and you knew Miguel was aware of the effect it has on you with how hard you clench on his silky appendage.
“Move.”
“Huh?”
Another sharp slap echoed in the living room, harder than the one earlier and you cried, hips stuttering forward on his flattened tongue.
“Ride me, cariño. Like you’ve always wanted.”
And you swear you’ve never heard anything more romantic than that.
With a smidge of hesitance, fearing you’d suffocate him, you rolled yourself on his tongue, eyes locked onto his darkened ones that dripped with desire. Still unsatisfied, his hand lands another hit on your skin and you move more desperately against him.
You cry as he starts to pick up the pace of his tongue, putting pressure onto your bead and shaking his head aggressively underneath you. He swats you once more when your hips stutter from the stimulation before clawing your flesh and grounding you further into his mouth.
“Harder.”
“I’m trying—Ah!”
Sneaking a hand below, he immediately inserts two digits inside of you. He spared no time hastening the speed of his thrusts while licking enthusiastically onto your clit making your eyes roll back.
Chasing the pleasure his fingers and mouth offered you, your hips rolled uncontrollably against his face. The obscene squelch echoing in the room would have embarrassed you, yet you couldn’t find it in you to flush.
The tight knot in your abdomen tightens as heat explodes from your chest and reaches down the tips of your limbs. You couldn’t do anything but cry as you tether closer to nirvana.
“I-I’m close.”
“Come for me, mi vida. Give it to me. I want it all.”
With his grounding arm reaching up to rake through your back along with his fingers and tongue, the knot unfurls and you come with a cry. 
Suddenly, he had both arms wrapped around your waist, preventing you from fluttering away from his ministrations. You gasped and pushed at his head but he paid no heed to them, rolling and shaking his tongue onto your clit as if trying to coax another climax from you.
“Miguel…!”
His nails digging into your flesh was the only answer you received and maybe the tug on his lips at your trembling thighs as well. It didn’t take long before pain started to blur with pleasure and your hips rocked against his tongue despite the protest of your heat with one hand tugging on his hair and the other holding on for dear life onto the headboard.
You didn’t have the mind to worry about his nose being blocked by your mon pubis, focused solely on your orgasm. With how he ground your hips onto his lips, you knew he didn’t mind.
And with a weak shout, you unravel, flesh and bones, on top of him. There’s a sound of something breaking in the haze, but paid no heed to it as you fall bonelessly onto the mattress. Miguel pulls away, gasping for air just as you turn to face the ceiling.
Your arousal drenching his face evoked something feral within you, the simmering desire in your stomach stirring awake once more. His eyes turned to the headboard and chuckled, reaching over to run his fingers over the dent with amusement dancing in his eyes.
“I guess a Spider-Man will always be a Spider-Man.”
“Oh shut up.” You groaned, chucking a pillow on his face.
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etherealkissed88 · 5 months
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“ive been persisting for a year and my 3d still hasnt conformed!” 𓆩✧𓆪
stop TRYING to get shit in the 3d! trying will not get you anywhere but experiencing more trying! remember the 3d reflects self! if you are assuming/being the one who is trying and waiting for shit to conform then what do u expect? more of that will reflect…
𓆩★𓆪 if you have been “persisting for a year,” i can assure you two things:
thing 1: you were persisting in what you dont want/fears/doubts & identifying w them
thing 2: you were not being the version of you who already has it / you were not being in the state of the wish fulfilled
thing 1: persisting in what you dont want/fears/doubts: you can have all the doubts you want, but when you identify w them / persist in them, then you flop. when u assume/do techniques, you are choosing to identify as another version of you. key word = identify ->
if i identify as the version of me who is living my dream life, does it make sense to look at a doubt and identify w it? or assume the doubt has bad meaning? no. it makes sense that i move on from it bc i already identified as the one who has it. the doubt is just there, neutral.
continuing to identify w the version of you who has it regardless of the 3d
= persisting
= applying the law
persisting = continuing to hold an idea or identity as true even when you manifest it, you will still be persisting in it because you will continue to hold it as fact. you are always persisting in something.
𓆩★𓆪 “how to not identify w a doubt?”
1) move on from it. focus on something else. ur only job is to assume it in the 4d only. if you feel lack, dont panic, feel the doubt & when ur ready, change self/states theres no need to push urself into anxiety. ur desire isnt going anywhere. relax.
2) identify as the one who has it. when u truly identify as the one who has it, any doubt would seem worthless.
𓆩★𓆪 “how to identify w it?”
assume that is ur identity already in imagination. its a simple decision. techniques are there to help to so use them to satisfy yourself in imagination, not to see 3d change. i say this because you need to get out of this 3d trap ->
3d trap = you assume you have something & feel good and then when you look at the 3d, you let that make you feel like shit
solution: know the 3d is always neutral and only you add meaning to it + know the 3d literally reflects imagination + focus on satisfying ur inner self only
sweet gentle reminder: STOP TRYING AND START BEING! YOU DUMBASS CUNT
thing 2: not being the version of you who already has it / not being in the state of the wish fulfilled. state of wish fulfilled = you know you have it already (in imagination); nothing in the 3d can change that
there are infinite versions of you (rich you, broke you, sexy you, business woman you, 100k followers you, annoying you). your job (or should i call it privilege) is to choose one version of you and identify with it in imagination and boom its done.
1. choose the version of you that you want to be
2. identify w it in imagination (via techniques to satisfy your inner self)
3. know its a fact because you just experienced it in the real reality (imagination aka inner self)
4. know any fake illusions of reality (3d) are neutral
𓆩★𓆪 in summary, if you are aware of it not reflecting after persisting for 100 years, you are saying that your senses & 3d mean more than inner self (even tho the 3d is a reflection of inner self). stop forgetting that it is all neutral. it is all inner self reflecting! CHANGE SELF!
𓆩★𓆪 the 3d is a form of inner self so it makes common sense to go to the source and change self (imagination). idc about how long youve been persisting bc if you were rly doing ur job and assuming it in imagination, you would know you are god who has whatever she claims in an instant.
from my sexy twitter thread (click da rainy cloud): 🌨️
kisses, jani 𓆩★𓆪
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gay-dorito-dust · 8 months
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Can I have blue beetle headcanons of Jaime's lover who is adored by Khaji Da and maybe the scarab tends to always encourage Jaime to stay by his lover's side at all times?
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It took a bit for Khaji-Da to warm up to you, but during this time the scarab would become a silent spectator to your relationship with their host. Khaji-Da bore witness to the sweetest moments of your relationship where you both unabashedly showered the other in an abundance of love and support in the others ambitions, dreams and aspirations; wholeheartedly believing in the others capabilities to do anything and everything.
However the one that stuck out to the scarab came down to the time you found out about Jaime was Blue Beetle at possibly the worst way. It was during his hardest fight to date against a strong villain that seemingly had him down for the count with how unnerving it was to see an unmoving Jaime. So much so that you disregarded your current circumstances to call out to your boyfriend, hanging onto hope that you could give him the strength to send this villain packing.
‘Come on Jaime, you need to get up! I want you to get up so I know you’re okay because I don’t want to continue this life without you! You’re the strongest person I’ve ever had the pleasure of getting to know. You’ve persisted through so much whereas anybody else would’ve given up and I’m not allowing you to give up now! Not when you’ve come so far! And you, Scarab, if you can hear me, I don’t want you giving up either! You both have got what it takes to win this fight! Now I want both of you to get back up and fight until that bastard doesn’t have the strength to stand back up!’ Your cries were enough to urge both Jaime and Khaji-Da to get back up and finish the fight; emerging victorious.
Khaji-Da: you heard your lover, Jaime Reyes.
Jaime: I heard them, now let’s go kick some ass.
Ever since then Khaji-Da had grown fond of you and Jaime couldn’t help but find it hilarious with how you had a sentient scarab, whom that wanted nothing more then to stay within close proximity of you at all times. Not that Jaime was complaining, he’d love being by your side constantly but has found himself being the one to tell you everything Khaji-Da is saying to him within his head.
Ngl he kinda felt like he was the odd man out but with a few of your special kisses and cuddles, that was all soon well and truly forgotten about.
Jaime: why do you want me near them all of the time, they’re safe and sound. We got rid of that villain weeks ago, so what’s your deal?
Khaji-Da: you should stay by your lover for as long as you can Jaime, for despite the danger having been subdued and peace resorted, I still wish for you to enjoy the simplicity of your courtship. They’re good for you.
Jaime muttering to himself* did I just get a blessing from a scarab to continue dating my partner?
Again Jaime wasn’t one to complain about spending more time with you, if anything the moment Khaji-Da suggests that he spend the day with you, Jaime was already two steps ahead and was already bolted down to your house before Khaji-Da could finish speaking.
Khaki-Da is also very protective over you, so that whenever the Scarab thought you were in danger, they’d take over from Jaime and get in between you and whatever Khaji-Da thought posed a threat to you. Jaime is embarrassed, like extremely so but you couldn’t help but find it funny with how quick Khaji-Da was to go on the offence when an innocent puppy came up to sniff you.
Jaime: I am so fucking sorry, that was all Khaji-Da, not me.
Khaki-Da: and I’d do it again. The puppy was encroaching on our territory.
Jaime: IT WAS A PUPPY-
Needless to say not only do you have the most perfect boyfriend but also an overprotective sentient scarab that will not leave you alone. They’re a package deal. You want the cute boy, you also get the scarab attached to his back for free. Literally.
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MENTALLY JUST BE, PHYSICALLY JUST SLEEP
The 3D is a RESULT
If you assume something in the 4D(your mind) watch it unravel in your 3D
Why is this???
I’m gonna yell at you now
BECAUSE THE 3D IS CHANGEABLE AND IT IS SO BECAUSE OF THE FACT THAT IT IS A RESULT
The 3D is a result of assumption
The assumptions you created yourself subconsciously
Manifesting a new job is the same as manifesting
A billionaire status
Stop doubting something that’s so easy
Whether you manifest through The void or whatever other methods it is sooo easy
Quit victimizing and babying yourself and get it the fuck done
Ain’t nobody gonna do it for ya
It’s your life baby you write it design it however the heck you want it to be
I’m not one of those bloggers to be be like “it’s ok pookie if you fail🥹”
NO BITCH YOU CANNOT FAIL
THE VOID IS LITERALLY YOU
YOUR GORGEOUS SELF IS THE REASON WHY IT EXISTS AND YOU OVERCOMPLICATING IT FOR WHAT???
Ignore the 3D
It’s physical
The jeans you’re wearing right now or that hoodie
Is physical
You can change it up for you want
The 3D is that
It’s those jeans that hoodie those socks
Change it
If you don’t wanna wear it
THEN DONT
If you feel like you deserve better
ASSUME BETTER
LOOK IN THAT MF MIRROR AND TELL YOURSELF YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL AND YOU ALWAYS BEEN THAT BITCH NOBODY IS ABOVE YOU WE ALL FINE AS HELL
JEALOUSY FOR WHATTTTTT
BBY GIRL ITS ALWAYS BEEN YOU YOU ALWAYS BEEN THAT BITCH
YOU TOO PRETTY TO BE SAD YOU KNOW ABOUT THE VOID CUZ THE UNIVERSE SHOWED YOU YOU ARE THE CHOSEN ONE
ACT LIKE IT GIRL!!!!!!
THIS IS YOUR SIGN TO STOP READING AND GO GET THAT DREAM LIFE
LIKE TF YOU STILL READING FOR
TAKE YOU FINE ASS TO THE VOID AND GET WHAT YOU ALWAYS WANTED
WITH YOUR CUTE SELF😏
I LOVE YOU ALL SO MUCH
BUT STOP SAYING “hoW dO EnTEr tHE vOiD?”
👁️👄👁️
Bitch you just did
YOU ALWAYS DOOOOOO
Jesus peanut butter Christ
Cmon y’all
yOu HavE alWayS dONe tHis!!!!
Every time you go to bed
You’re detaching from the 3D(physical reality)
To be in the 4D reality
All you’re doing is becoming aware of it
Oh my god
How hard is that?!!!!
You’re killing me babes😔✋🏾
Please for the love of jell-o
Understand how easy this shizzz is
Bruh
You’re in the 3D void rn
I know that probably doesn’t exist but hear me out
You’re so attached to this reality right
Every day you are aware that you’re here living in this physical world as a physical being
This is like our 3D version of the void state
It’s not actually the void
But it’s like our state of awareness
Just in this 3D world
We’re aware that we are physical
So to shift your awareness to the 4D simply just
Be aware
Just like you’re aware now
“BUtt hoW dO sTaY aWAkE?”
Who said you gotta be sleepy??
Bitch you could do it rn if you really want to
It’s dumb to think you gotta be tired at to enter the void
NOOOOO
You literally are mentally awake
Your BODY is asleep
So why should you??
It’s different if you wanna tap into it WHILE asleep
Like waking up in it
But you don’t need to be dead tired to do it y’all
Listen bitch
You will never make it if you don’t claim your power and go get it
Stop wasting time stop assuming you fail or it’s hard
YOU DA POWERFUL ONE BABE
Sugar baby it’s all in your hands
You’re the God of your reality
Go make your life the way you want it
Quit spending hours trying to find methods to something to you naturally do every night with NO method
When you go to sleep
You are in the state of just being
You’re just sleep
When you’re awake you’re in the state of awakened awareness
You’re just awake and aware
Soooo in the void mix those two together in the void
Mentally Just BE
Physical Just sleep
Omg my new motto
The key to the void state is
“MENTALLY JUST BE
PHYSICALLY JUST SLEEP”
That’s it
That’s all
And If your favorite celebrities can manifest so can you
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neteyamsilly · 1 year
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i will soften every edge, hold the world to its best | 4
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summary ;; A father protects, that's what gives him meaning. Jake Sully has failed. PART 3 | PART 5 pairings ;; dad!jake sully x reader, mom!neytiri x reader, sully family x reader genre ;; pure angst and family feels notes / explanations ;; PLEASE READ AUTHOR NOTES. I explicitly said in the previous chapter I would NO LONGER BE TAKING TAG REQUESTS. You're just going to have to check my profile every now and then. I also will not be re-tagging the peeps I did in the last chapter’s replies, it’s just a lot 😭 I'm sorry for the inconvenience and thank you for your understanding! Now I present you, the long awaited angst and groveling of Jake. Enjoy! Please excuse my mistakes if you see any. Thank you so much for the lovely comments and support, I hope the angst hits the way you wanted it / was expecting HHHHH
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It’ll shine better, Jake mused to himself, rotating the lumpy amber around in his fingers to better reflect the sunlight streaming in thin rays from the hands of the dense flora above, once I dip this in that polish oil. It’s not entirely unsalvageable. 
At least he hadn’t scraped too much in attempts to give it a rounder shape, the bug at its core you were gushing about to the point of waking him up at zero dark thirty was still intact. He had been summoned from his dreams to look at a cool rock. 
Jake couldn’t not gift it to you as something to be permanently worn after that.
The problem? He was ass at this. Always had been. No drop of craftsmanship in his bloodstream at all when the Na’vi were particularly fond of their ornaments and accessories, making it themselves, in fact. 
Songcords were put together from beads, bones and stones, virtuosity was a must intrinsically woven into everyday life, methodized and irreplaceable since it wasn’t as if mass production could ever be a thing in Pandora. Everything was handmade. 
Jake’s worst enemy beadwork was in their clothing, for example, even in braids — his maladroit at it may or may not be why he wore his hair in plain dreads now. 
He wasn’t an artist or a creator, his hands were more comfortable being fit around a gun or a knife than slipping effortlessly in the rhythm of weaving or the act of making. All his end results were dreadful enough to be bullied relentlessly by his kids — except for you, that is. You absolutely loved them for reasons your mother or none of your siblings could understand. 
Jake’s blundering conscience would melt at the sight of your eyes shining and the biggest smile almost splitting your head in half as if he had just handed you the world every single time he gifted you the newest of his clunky handiwork. He didn’t know why that made you the happiest. You’d been that way ever since you saw him carving and personally adding a bead to his songcord about how he got his firstborn daughter to utter her first word: dada. 
It was important to him, so, down it had gone into Jake’s life story; putting official significance to the moment he never wanted to forget in the same thread that carried the story of him becoming Toruk Makto, just beside Neteyam’s first word, which was also dadada. (Neytiri had Lo’ak’s mam, and Kiri’s perfectly articulated mommy.)
Ever since that day, you had made grabby hands at the bead all the time when he picked you up, teethed at it like a puppy trying to grab a toy, tried to rip it off to make it yours — anything, until Neytiri made you one, but no, you wanted it from dada. 
So dada started making you little trinkets. 
He didn’t know if it was a good or a bad thing you never grew out of receiving gifts from your dad he himself cringed at. Jake wasn’t one to complain, not when someone in this life would feel such enough joy to purify thousands of blighted souls upon receiving his ugly personal work. It made him happy, stroked his ego to high heavens that his sweetheart was doting on dada to see the imperfect as the most fascinating. 
That’s why he had taken on the daunting task of making a bead for you out of the amber you’d fixated on, rasp in one hand, sitting on a thick log that cut into the little stream he and his family were spending leisurely time that day, one leg pulled to himself and one feet in the water up to his ankle. Even though he had half an ear on his four children playing around in the shallow water of the creek, all the screams and squeals of joy felt weak compared to the contained huff of amusement that escaped from his mate who had come up to Jake while he was way too engrossed in his task. 
His eyes shifted to Neytiri, watching her hop on to the log in one agile move. “Don’t laugh.”
“I am not laughing,” Neytiri said, crouching to sit, her mouth twitched upwards as she looked at the amber in his hand.
“I have eyes, Neytiri, I literally see you laughing.” His face used to burn at her openly teasing about beadmaking, but his oldest daughter’s attentions had restored his bruised confidence over the years. The slander wasn’t taken lightly these days as Jake had proudly relabeled the odd shapes of his work as a creative choice. “Right to my face.”
“You’re mistaken.” 
Jake made his jaw drop, overacting his bafflement. “Wow, gaslighting? Really?”
Neytiri hit his arm lightly. In her terms, it was light, at least. “I don’t know what that is.”
“It’s something you shouldn’t do to your mate.” He turned his back to her, giving a look over his shoulder. “You’re abusing me. I’m being abused.”
“Baby.”
“No amount of pet names are gonna fix my broken heart.”
“No. You are a baby. I’m insulting you.” Neytiri hadn’t even laughed, but the uplifted timbre of that sentence sure did make Jake snicker in disbelief. “If you can’t take it, maybe you should leave beading to me.”
“I would say they are fashionably off,” he defended. You carried them with delight, so why shouldn’t Jake take more pride in his work? “And you said practice makes perfect years ago, I remember the exact words—”
“Years ago. You still haven’t gotten any better at it.” Neytiri was his biggest supporter and criticizer at the same time. “And you became a part of the clan back in the day in three months Jake. Never a more unbelievable thing to me than this.” 
“I’m trying alright?” He turned back to the bead, or, vaguely bead-shaped amber, if technical terms were involved. It still had a whole adventure to embark on until it could receive the noble title of a bead. “She likes what I make, at least.”
“It’s because she’s your daughter and anything you do is out of this world. Beauty in the most unlikely places. A child’s love is pure that way.” The unexpected hypnotism of poetry in that sentence alone pulled Jake’s gaze to Neytiri’s, and for a moment, he could physically feel his heart within his ribcage being squeezed, tethering on painful, but with a joyful tinge. “She doesn’t have standards yet.”
Well, that hurt. “Damn.”
“Damm!” A pair of small and branch-thin arms wrapped around his neck from behind, and something, or rather, someone, latched onto his back. “Rahh!” 
Jake should have been suspicious of how silent it had gotten halfway into his talk with Neytiri. Turns out, you had swam underneath the log to get out of his line of sight, climbing with the stealth of a bug to come up undetected. 
Well, mark Jake down as impressed, you weren’t able to do that without being spotted until today, this was another wonderful milestone for you — you had learned impressively, taking advantage of his distraction, avoiding making noise and using water to your advantage. Neytiri must have given you some pointers. 
And now he was wondering if his mate was in on this all along, purposefully disturbing his peace so their kids could see an opening to pounce on him.  
“Oof!” Your hold on him was something he could break out of any minute with how adorably strong you were exerting yourself to make it, but he wanted to play along more than anything. Jake was acting panicked, swinging his body left and right from the waist, but really, it was just a light warm-up exercise with the easiest deadlift possible. “I’m being ambushed!”
“I got you now, Toruk Makto!” You wrapped your legs around his torso, and he felt like this was just a piggyback ride with extra steps. “Watch this, mom!”
Oh, it’s on. 
Discreetly handing Neytiri the amber, Jake stood up, bringing you up with him and fighting a smile at your clipped squeak as the height became too much too quick, causing you to cling onto him stronger. He reached behind, and within seconds, he had you in his hands, holding you from the armpits and dangling you above the stream, your kicking legs beating the air, and he cackled like a villain threatening to fling the hero from atop of a skyscraper. 
“You got me? Please.” He loosened his grip the slightest amount to give you the illusion he would let go, and you stopped struggling to scream, catching his forearms. “A measly thing like you? Conquering me? I’ll show you why I’m the king of the skies! Here I come!”
Making sure you wouldn’t get hurt, Jake threw you into the water as gently as possible, but made the angle entertaining enough so you would go flying. He wasn’t sure who’d screeched the highest, your three siblings who had you spearheading this little operation with full trust in your capabilities, or you reacting like you were falling down from an ikran midair. Either way, he was enjoying bullying his kid a bit too much. 
Emerging from the stream and shaking the water off too akin to a wet dog, your first action was to shield your siblings, open arms and whole body and all. “Nete, run! Protect Lovak and Kiri, I’ll save you!”
Jake’s evil smile looming on his kids wavered at that. 
You had problems with some letters even at the big age of eight, two vowels next to each other in one word was one of them, along with the confusion of “f” and “b”, and sometimes “p” — it made for hilarious misunderstandings Jake had to fight to be a parent about instead of busting a lung from laughing. 
One of the many unforgettable events was deemed “The Fish Incident” between Jake, Max and Norm. He had been recording Neteyam’s first catch on his own to add it to the cute memory pile he and his mate would watch in the future after all their children eventually moved out to pursue their paths. You happened to be present that time, watching intently as your big brother shot a particularly giant yellow fish, eagerly jumping down to the pond to get it and showing it to the camera with a shy, yet proud grin on his face. 
“Good job, boy!” Jake had cheered. “Say I got that fish!”
Out of the camera’s frame and making little jumps on your toes, you’d blithely yelled. “Yeah, you got that bish!” 
The rest of the footage was shaky and out of focus, the microphone hadn’t picked up any sound but Jake’s uncontrollable laughter, kicked off by an exploding snort of shock. 
You and Neteyam had no idea why, but after he’d stopped recording with tears streaming down his face, wheezing because he couldn’t stop laughing, you’d joined to laugh and play with him regardless, mirroring his excitement. 
Later though, Jake had to actively make it so you wouldn’t have to say the words kitchen and pitch (and obviously, fish) out loud, at least, in front of Neytiri. He didn’t want to abstain from having a little fun himself, so under no circumstance was she allowed to find out and correct you. And he had it going strong for a while until it slipped when he was talking about a scientist friend over at Hell’s Gate called Richard and you repeated it as “Bitchard”. The word had somehow weaseled into your English lexicon as well, and Neytiri wasn’t illiterate enough to be oblivious to what you’d merrily blurted. 
Good old days. Jake sometimes missed hearing you curse innocently. Neytiri had to take that source of joy away from him. Discouragement and warnings would be given to his kids if they knowingly cussed, of course, Kiri calling Lo’ak penis face was something he’d immediately shot down, but this was harmless, he thought. He could have let you be blissfully unaware until the day you learned the meaning of the words, or gain consciousness of the articulation errors as you grew up and naturally fix it yourself. It was only a natural part of a child’s growth.  
But he had other entertainment. The obligatory consonant you had to sometimes add to two different neighboring vowels if it was too difficult for you to pronounce, for example. Your little brother was a victim to this. Thankfully, Lo’ak wasn’t bothered to be called Lovak by his older sister, somehow thinking of it as a nickname, but Jake could bet his ass the boy would use this as infinite ammo against you once both of you were older. He would of course forget how you always protected him in play fighting like right now, of course, maybe you would remember enough to accuse him of ungratefulness, and perhaps Lo’ak would declare he didn’t recall anything such as that. 
How bittersweet of a thing it was to drift into imaginations of how his kids would be like when they grew up. Like the stinging ache Jake always got when he was confronted with the sadness of losing his children forever one day — the need to put every minute with them in a bottle, and the feeling of time slipping through his fingers, the same old melancholy each time: when it first dawned on Jake that you’d successfully sneaked up on him just now, when Neteyam had captured his first fish all on his own without assistance, when Lo’ak showed him the knife he had successfully carved by himself to get his approval, and when Kiri had tended to a scratch wound of his better than her grandmother did with precocious wisdom on her face. 
Jake was making every moment count. Just like this one. 
“Nobody is safe from me, I’ll huff and I’ll puff and blow your house in!” He jumped down from the log with the grace and intimidation of a leopard who had been disturbed while eating up the tree he’d dragged his meal on, splashing water everywhere. “What will you do, o’ mighty hunter?”
You loved being called mighty hunter by him, he saw the sparkle in your eyes. 
“Noooo!” Kiri cried, pulling on both Lo’ak and Neteyam’s arms huddled behind you. “He’ll get us!”
Your thought process, completely spooked by Jake, was painfully visible. But surprisingly, you yelled, “Scatter!” with the experience of a rave addict who would take a forty and smash it on the ground as the police closed in on the party grounds. And his kids ran in different directions, like a group of cockroaches when someone approached them, they all ran in different directions. 
Sloshing water all around to make it more terrifying, he got Kiri first, hauled her right over his shoulder when she made for Neytiri, thinking her mother could protect her, but no. Jake was inevitable. Lo’ak gave him a weak challenge trying to step around him, getting Jake to confuse his steps as if they were playing basketball, but this was his dad he was facing and not Spider, these tricks didn’t work on veterans, so now he was flush to Jake’s side, tail facing forward, carried like some strapless bag, it didn’t even put any strain on the man’s bicep. Neteyam was the last, hiding beneath the water level and holding his breath, but the little nose peeking out for air gave him away, and Jake had him up the other shoulder in seconds, the boy didn’t have enough time to run away even though he’d spied from underwater that Jake was coming for him. 
Three out of four. That left only his eldest daughter. 
You were nowhere to be seen. The delighted and struggling giggle-cries of the three kids in his arms and shoulders didn’t help at all to Jake taking his surroundings in with a keen ear, all senses attuned to spotting the stray. 
A rustle from above. 
“Attack him!” 
He didn’t have enough time to see just which branch of the trees cocooning the creek you had climbed on before all three in his arms turned on him, flailing around together in unison to get Jake to fall down and kneel, and it surprisingly worked, he couldn’t even recover between the blink of a time between them getting off the way and you jumping down on him. The height at which you did that knocked all air off his ribcage for a second as he tried to retain balance, and you took that chance to sit on his shoulders, your legs dangling from each one, grabbing onto two dreads on his head as if they were the tails of Toruk he once had held onto like leashes. 
Jake had to give this one to you, damn. When had you become a student of the art of strategizing? 
But, defeat was defeat. He had to play his part. “This can’t be!” He opened his arms, making it seem cartoonishly like he had been incapacitated. “I’ve been… bested?”
“That’s right!” The cockiness was dripping from you as you pulled on his dreads. “I’m Toruk Makto Makto now. The first of my name!”
Your siblings started cheering battle cries, repeating the word. 
Don’t laugh, he ordered himself. Toruk Makto Makto, what a title, oh Jesus Christ. 
“Alright, alright, you got me, mighty hunter.” 
“So I win?”
“Yes, you win.”
He was going to have two less dreads on his head if you kept pulling on them like this. “Hell yeah!” 
After hearing the declaration, his other children also joined in on the ‘Hell yeah!’ train. Jake supposed he could let this slide for now, you guys were too happy, he wouldn’t sully it. 
“You’re gonna rip my hair off, get down now.” You understood play time was over from his tone, and obeyed, hopping down his shoulders when he lowered you into the water, immediately attempting to rush to your siblings’ side to be celebrated, but Jake had something else in mind. “C’mere for a sec.”
He pulled you to the edge of the stream where water met grassy land, dipping his hand into the wet soil under your confused gaze and bringing his fingers up to trace a pattern on your face.
The reaction was instantaneous. You pulled back. “Ew, mud!”
“Hold on,” he gently warned, or rather, encouraged.
You let him continue whatever he was doing then, albeit not losing the laughable concern along the way. “What’s this?”
“Well, you’ve tamed Toruk Makto before an ikran. My mighty hunter should be painted accordingly, no?”
He pointed down and you followed it with your eyes. Seeing your reflection and the ‘V’ shape with a dot on your face in the water, you stopped yourself from touching it with the impulse control that kicked in at the last second, looking up at Jake, jumping up and down, unable to contain the energy, knowing exactly what he did just now. He’d recognized you as a prospective hunter candidate. “Thank you, dad!”
Jake could swear his insides liquidized at that. “Always, sweetheart.”
“Will you paint me like this when I finally get an ikran, too?”
“Of course I will.” He actually wanted to cup your cheeks and plant a little kiss at the adorable flat of your nose but the mud would be ruined, so he pet your braids instead. “As will your mother. It’s what family does.”
At the time, Jake didn’t have the slightest inkling that the paint would end up being your own blood. 
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Neytiri’s bloody hands — your blood, his child, his child, his baby Jake’s entire day would stop at seeing one tear on her face — had been stroking your face, trying to hold on to you anywhere she could to soothe your flaming pain as you were squirming like a dying animal fighting for the next breath. His heart beating right behind his eyes in a massive pulsating headache, Jake was too desperate fighting his swelling panic with each noise that ripped from you to notice they had left the vague pattern of Iknimaya paint pattern in their wake. 
She did. 
And her following anguished, gasping shudder as her shaking hands hovered above your contorted face, tracing the air along the lines the blood had left on your face ended up hitting him right in the gut. He couldn’t dwell on it. He couldn’t let this random twisted sign sweep him into the roaring waterfall of torment, your life was on the line.  
Jake didn’t have any coherent memory of running back to the mouth of the cave from the family tent. One moment, he was back with his brain fried from thinking about Quaritch in the aftermath of an hour that had just taken twenty years from his lifespan, avoiding the inquisitive silence of his kids who hadn’t gone back to bed yet; and the other, Neytiri was screaming in the distance with terror worse than the anguish he’d heard her go through upon losing her father and her home. Jake had all but flown there, mind blank in swirling, spasming panic. 
Neytiri had told him he had a strong heart the first time they’d met. No fear. Even though Jake was aware he was being disliked strongly, this quality of his she had remarked on, honest to her soul. 
But she was wrong. 
That fearless fortress heart of his had begun to crumble the moment he learned of Neteyam’s existence. And with each and every new addition to their family, Jake had been rehabilitated on what fear truly was, like a baby learning a language. 
Losing. It was all about losing. 
He would wake up from terrorizing, choking nightmares with the sensation of his family being violently taken away from him when his children were in his arms, sleeping peacefully all along. He couldn’t stop it. It had spiraled out of control after the sky people came back, turning him into a paranoid, angry man who was ruled by fear. He worried for the safety of his family every day, obsessed over it — beneath the impenetrable iron mask of a leader his whole clan was leaning on, Jake was nothing more than a weak, emotionally crippled father who would lose it the more his children grew up to take reckless actions he made worse by the inability to govern his fear-curbed anger. He called it tough love. 
That tough love had resulted in this. Loss. Loss. Loss he had tried his damnedest to prevent. It was blood slipping through his fingers from a wound he had no way of stitching back together. 
The more he pushed to block the bullet entrance point, the more you fought Jake, making feral yowls that weakened into animalistic whimpers and throaty whines that all but ripped his heart off muscle by muscle, your hits and scratches didn’t faze him, but the noises. Eywa, the noises. “I’m sorry, sweetheart. I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I know you’re in pain, I know, I know, I’ll make it go away, please hold on, c’mon.” The droplets of sweat that had formed in the matter of seconds rolled down his face. You had begun to hyperventilate from the accelerating pain because of his efforts. “C’mon sweetheart. Breathe for me, breathe for dad, okay? You gotta breathe. Breathe!”
You were unhearing, lost in the overwhelming, blinding, deafening agony he couldn’t anchor or shield you from. The grunt of desperation that escaped his sore throat rattled his carbon fiber infused bones.  
Jake didn’t have time to think. His reason had flown out the mountains to be able to force one single word to form in his mindscape. He just knew he had to stop the bleeding, propelled by concentrated instinct. You were struggling too much for him to have a solid hold on you. Everything, too slippery. Too much blood. Too fucking much. The sickening smell of iron bit at his senses. 
(Was it the liver? The spleen? Pancreas? One of the major arteries? But Na’vi biology wasn’t the same as humans. Fuck.) 
Then, you were being restrained by a third party, Neytiri was too devastated to make that reasonable decision, and in his peripheral vision, he saw it was Neteyam who had sat down on your legs, restricting your movements with incredible strength. Jake couldn’t even bark at him to go away with how much Neteyam looked in control, a rock he and Neytiri both could draw strength from. Behind him, Lo’ak was a stone statue just standing there, frozen, his eyes not leaving your bloody abdomen. 
When you let out a yelp his heart could no longer stand, he yelled, “Bring a stretcher!” to nobody in particular, out of his goddamn mind. Lo’ak jumped at it, coming back to his senses, hesitating what to do for a second before he was off to god knows where. He had to take you to Norm’s, and then a doctor—
A tiny, trembling voice he couldn’t recognize as Neteyam’s reached his ears. “Dad…” 
The boy was looking at you, blown eyes shining with unshed tears, upper set of teeth sinking in his shaky bottom lip. 
You had gone slack in his arms. 
He hadn’t even seen the moment, didn’t stop putting pressure on the wound as the dread assaulted his body. And a biting shiver went down his spine before Jake also looked down on his eldest daughter. Your eyes weren’t closed all the way, halted gaze focused on something to the side, one tear rolling down your temple. 
“Don’t do this to me.” Jake couldn’t breathe as he shook his head, he was about to lose it, about to tumble down the edge he could never climb his way up from. In denial, he didn’t lift his hands, losing all strength in his upper body and gradually collapsing forward as his forehead found yours. “Don’t do this to me, sweetheart, not like this. Please, not like this.”
The last thing you were looking at was the ikran you’d gotten.
Jake didn’t feel that very ikran making its way to their side, flapping its wings, didn’t feel anything to react when a snoot reached down and ever-so-gently nudged you, like you were asleep and it was given the duty to wake you up in the morning that day. 
Your ikran nudged you once. Twice. Thrice. Each push was harsher than the other. 
You didn’t wake up. Your eyes didn’t get their light back. 
A paralyzing numbness took over Jake’s body, all his neuron ends stunted. The moon stopped spinning, time stopped moving, he ceased existing, all at the same time. 
A piercing ringing stabbed his ears, took away his hearing. He didn’t hear Neytiri scream louder than the ikran, you were ripped from his arms, and he couldn’t move to do anything about it, just staring into the distance, at nothing, bloodied palms facing upwards in his lap. 
It was Neteyam who tried to stop his wailing mother from going mad with grief, trying to get her to set down your body from her crushing embrace even though he couldn’t take his misty eyes off your body. It was Lo’ak, frantic in his run even though his panic-frozen face gave away nothing, who had rushed back with Mo’at and Kiri. It was Tuk who had thrown herself into his arms for a hug Jake wasn’t in his body to reciprocate, his seven year old child, in tears, comforting him when Jake, as the adult and the father, should have had his shit together and be the provider of comfort. 
Instead, all he could feel was the blood on his hands, one small part in his mind making him focus on that one amber with a bug inside he’d carved for you, years ago, now in your hair.
The tears didn’t come. His world was shattering all around him, but not one tear made it to the surface. 
Someone was talking to him, but Jake wasn’t there, experiencing the moment behind a thick veil of silencing glass. 
“Open her mouth, Jakesuli.”
He looked at the source of the muffled sound breaching the ringing in his ears, painfully empty and unfeeling. It was Mo’at. In her hand, a woodsprite gently floated in the air and landed before it repeated the motion again. It was as if his brains had been emptied from his skull. He didn’t understand. He didn’t see. Tuk was clinging to him, Neytiri doubled down in waves of cries in Neteyam’s arms. Jake wasn’t there. 
“Open her mouth so I can keep her spirit here longer,” Mo’at said. “Do it now. We do not have much time.”
And Jake could breathe again, his soul slinged back into his body, feeling returning to the tips of his fingers, kicking into action. 
He cradled your body from the cold ground you were lying on, bringing his shaky hand to your tightly shut jaw. Your body couldn’t have been experiencing rigor mortis, so you must have been clenching your teeth to the point of your jaw locking to fight the pain, and he was nearly blinded from the sheer strength with which he had to hold back from hugging you. But he eventually opened your jaw with a sickening pop that made him visibly grimace, and Mo’at guided the woodsprite to slip inside the cavity of your mouth.
The bioluminescent dots on your body began to flicker the moment your mouth was closed again. Jake gave a shuddering breath at the sign of life, hands unsure if he should continue to cover the wound again. 
“Eywa has allowed her to remain. For a while.”
“Oh Great Mother, thank you!” Neytiri took one of your hands, pressing it against her cheek and kissing it over and over again. “Thank you, thank you.”
“Bring her to my tent,” the Tsahik simply stated, and Jake didn’t even stop to consider how he should be taking you to the science guys, how they were probably going to say you needed a blood transfusion and surgery right after they got the necessary tests such as MRI and blood analysis out of the way. Kiri, sniffling weakly, took the crying Tuk away so Jake could carry you. He couldn’t comfort his girls the way he wanted to, couldn’t attend to Neytiri as their sons consoled her and got consoled in return in a tight hug together; he was on the move, heart about to beat out of his chest.  
He took you in his arms and clutched your unconscious and ashen blue body tightly to his chest, your head lolling in the crook of his arm, arriving to Mo’at’s tent faster than she did — and oh, how small you were compared to him, how fragile and vulnerable. The attitude made you appear bigger than you actually were, and Jake was reminded how you were still a child from how light his daughter was, like a fleeting bird. He’d forgotten. It had been forever since he last held you like this that he couldn’t bear to lay you down on the mat. If only he could hide you away within his ribcage, away from the pain and the suffering, forever.
“Everything in this world is borrowed,” she told him, an incense was burned, salves were prepared, tools he had no idea on what they were used were brought out. Plants, herbs. Jake stood there, helpless. “Even this child, Eywa has lent to you. She is borrowed from the bosom of our Great Mother, entrusted to you. Entrusted.” Your freckles were still flickering, and Tsahik’s tone, clipped. “I will converse with her. Ask if she plans to call her daughter back home today.”
Ice washed over Jake. “No, you gotta heal her, Mo’at, I can't lose m—”
“Everything in this world is borrowed. Each breath. Each heartbeat. All children. All gifts from Eywa.” Her eyes bore into him. “I can only ask.”
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Neytiri pounced on him as soon as he stumbled out of the tent, beaten and spent despite not having one scratch on his body, upon Kiri’s entrance to assist her grandmother in tending to you. 
“Your fault!” He was violently pushed back, only able to take in the woman’s bloodied, wrathful face, tear tracks freshened with saltwater she couldn’t stop shedding. “This is your fault! I told you! I told you to fix this!”
Jake was aware other clan members were watching even if they weren’t out of their homes, he was Olo’eyktan, their leader, his pride would have taken this to their own tent had this been any other debate, but now, he couldn’t give a flying fuck. Bruising his back was the weight of a failed father instead of the ornamental piece of the clan leader, it was unbearable enough. She was right. There was nothing else to be said. His mate was right. 
“Mother, please,” Neteyam was right beside them in a flash, holding Neytiri back and shielding his father from her. His sunken eyes found Lo’ak and Tuk crouching at the edge of the tent, huddled together, the youngest having the crying hiccups as her older brother had an arm around her, himself looking traumatized enough. 
“Don’t, boy.” Jake put a hand on his stone-hard shoulder, moving him aside. Neteyam took one hard look at Neytiri half-circling his father in long strides, and decided it was best if he took care of his siblings instead even if he wasn’t told outright. He ushered Tuk and Lo’ak up and away, to the other side of the tent where they wouldn’t disturb their parents by staying in the field of vision. 
Jake should have been the one to take control, but Neteyam had stepped up for it — he was a kid, too, eldest child or not. What the fuck am I doing? 
In his tumultuous sorrow, every piece of the fortress Jake had put together was coming down, every decision re-evaluated, emotion overtaking what he once thought as logic. His fault. His fault. He had ruined his children, all of them. He had thought embracing the iron will of a war chief would allow him to be a strong father figure, but it had only alienated his family. 
You had died in his arms. 
Jake contained every storm in a box inside his body, Neytiri lived those storms, she was strong that way. He would take it. Her eyes were only seeing red at the moment, the grief and wrath of a wronged mother. “Yeah, it’s my fault,” he told her, something between a whisper and a sigh. His kids deserved to hear it. “I know.”
“She is dying because of you!” Jake couldn’t escape the truth by closing his eyes, but he did anyway, like an automatic body reflex against detecting something would be hitting him. He swallowed, his mouth was drier than a desert, no relief was found in the action. “My daughter! My child! Your child!” She pushed him again, hissing. Jake didn’t do anything to stop it. “All because you told her to go today—everything, everything… All because you didn’t reach out to her. She hid that.” A shiver shook her voice. “That… because of you. You! She thought you would be angry!”
Violent horror seized his heart, ears pinning back on his head, knuckles clenching so light blue they were almost white. “I would… I would never—how could I ever—?”
But it was in character, wasn’t it? Jake always getting angry over worry for his children. Going crazy because they could have gotten hurt. Fear grows into anger, worm eating away the bark of a tree into poisonous snake. The realization hit him like a ton of bricks, chest rising and falling in big breaths, there was no air.  
“She said you hated her. Over and over again, she said you hated her. Not to call you because you would hate her for it, Jake!”
Bitter guilt and glacial shock rose from his stomach, choking him, his eyes looking at anywhere but Neytiri’s blazing golden eyes, to his children who sat together seemingly away from them but blatantly listening, to the tent flames were barely illuminating the shadows inside. His legs were weak. All that he had been breaching behind a wall to prioritize your safety flooded rancid to his mind. 
Jake got angry at you all the time that you’d expected it at your most vulnerable. That he would blame you, reprimand you for his enemy’s actions.
His memories were attacked by all sides. That you had gone off on your own for the Iknimaya everybody should have been there for, he should have painted your face personally for. That you have been hiding the bleeding out from the moment Jake had found you pinned down by the dead body of an avatar, from the moment you’d answered positively to the question of if you were hurt or not, with that rifle he’d thought you didn’t let go because of how the events had shaken you. He opened his mouth, a gaping fish, but no words came out, mute and voiceless. 
Hate you? Hate you? Hate his own child he would burn the whole world for?
His child. Suffering in silence when her nature was anything but silent. Afraid of her father when she was the most fearless of his kids when facing him.
You thought you weren’t loved.
“What have you done to our children? What has this family become? What are we if our children are too afraid to come to us in their darkest hours?” Neytiri was snarling, both fury and grief battling inside her, teeth gnashing so hard they could sharpen a knife. “What child does not seek her parents when she is hurt?” 
Unseeing, Jake couldn’t stand anymore, staggering towards a particularly large rock and sitting on it, he raised his hands to rub his face but stopped when he saw the blood. 
All yours. All his daughter’s who he had failed. Who had died in his arms thinking she was hated because Jake was a shit excuse of a father you couldn’t trust to say you were hurt that you would take the risk of dying so he wouldn’t find out. 
His daughter’s blood, on his hands. 
He put his elbows to his legs, crossing his wrists to lean his forehead on, yet unable to hide his shaking hands even if he managed to hide his face. Jake couldn’t comprehend any of this, crushed beneath the skyful of burning hot shame and the guilt dwarfing him — tears he couldn’t seem to shed found life in his eyes at him trying to blink away the memory of you clinging to your ikran at the flight home. You had been suffering the whole time and all he could think about was Quaritch when he should have been thinking of you.
“What child would rather hide her injury than let her father know?” It shocked his spine like lightning, and Jake visibly flinched, fists clenching and unclenching. “Explain this to me!” 
Shame. Shame. Shame. Jake was about to throw up, rocking back and forth.
He had nothing to say. Nothing could ever excuse this. He couldn’t wash away all your moments from this night, all a cursed film strip haunting his every breath accompanied by thorns that ripped apart his insides. 
“If she lives,” Neytiri said, pointing a curled hand at him, slowly, scarily calm, but shaking with mastered rage. If she lives destroyed Jake.  “We would be lucky if my mother doesn’t decide to perform Stxel’eveng as Tsahik!” 
Jake’s head shot up at the word, his arms dropping altogether and meeting his mate’s tortured stare. As Olo’eyktan, he had to be taught the traditions and ceremonies to the point of talking in his sleep from overlearning — this one was a long lost one the clan hadn’t performed for a long time, as the Omatikayan were faithful and loyal to Eywa and her teachings. 
Stxel’eveng was the shortened word for ‘Gifting of a Child’ — an adoption ceremony within Na’vi that didn’t even have the word ‘adopt’ in their vocabulary, simply because it was almost non-existent, most Na’vi didn’t even know the existence of such a tradition. If the parents were unable to care and provide for their child, mistreated on purpose or neglected them to the point of no return, they were to be publicly dishonored by the gifting of said child to another willing family. A knot would be formed between the three, one thread bound around the waist of the mother signifying the womb, one thread fastened to the queue of the father, and the final thread to the wrists of the child as if they were captive. The knot, then, would be severed by Tsahik to symbolize the dissolvement of the familial relations in Eywa’s eyes.
The biggest shame a Na’vi could bring upon their name. 
“No,” Jake muttered, his mind going blank yet again. Fuck the shame. Damn his name. He couldn’t lose you. It’s a stone in his throat he can’t swallow, whales on his tongue he can’t speak to save himself.
“Pray to Eywa it doesn’t happen. Because if I was Tsahik, I would do it.” Neytiri turned away from him, pushing the heel of her hands on her damp eyes. “I cannot bear this shame, Jake. I can barely breathe.”
He quivered like a baby leaf caught in a storm, a couple more tears rolling down his cheeks. “Neytiri…” 
“I lost my daughter today. She slipped from my fingers. I watched her die.” He lowered his head at her grief, vision swimming. “How am I a mother when I can't feel her pain? How am I worthy of being her mother when I saw my child’s pain and just sat there helpless? Why would the Great Mother ever want to send her back?” She just kept going, not having any mercy on Jake’s soul. “Where was I when she won against her ikran? Where was I when she had her first flight? Where was I to protect her from those demons?”
A father protects, that’s what gives him meaning.
Who was Jake Sully?
“Lo’ak, come back here!” 
Both of them turned just in time to see their youngest son running away from the back of the tent they’d been hiding, Neteyam following a couple steps before he stopped to look back, probably at his sister. 
“I’ll get him,” Jake said, soulless and absentminded. Neytiri didn’t respond, stalking back to Mo’at’s tent, just kneeling in front of the entrance, wrapping her hands and tail around her knees. Tuk turned the corner, scampering towards her and finding refuge in Neytiri immediately wrapping around her protectively. 
Jake wasn’t allowed to comfort his mate. 
But he could get to his children who needed it. Trust, Neytiri had said. Honesty. 
Walking up to Neteyam, he put a warm hand behind his rigid back, and felt the taut muscles relax underneath his touch, another wave of shame hitting at the inability to recall just when he had last comforted his boy. 
“Get Tuk. Go home. Rest.”
Neteyam turned to him, scandalized. “We will stay.”
“Neteyam—”
“Dad—sir, please. I can’t leave my sister.”
That sir was a splash of acid on his already weeping heart. 
It dawned on Jake that Neteyam was the one witnessing your moment of death. Death. A surge of nausea shot up from his esophagus, and he didn’t stop himself from hooking an arm around the boy, careful of using his hands not to get blood on the eldest, pulling him into a much awaited embrace. He hadn’t allowed him to be a kid.
“It’s okay, Neteyam,” he croaked. “She’ll be okay. We’ll be okay.”
Neteyam’s arms didn’t wrap around him, unfamiliar to the gesture — crumbling Jake’s already broken heart into dust, but he did shiver, fighting the tremble. He simply said, “I pray so.”
He was still trying to hold it together — for everybody’s sake. 
Jake felt the boy’s tears on his skin, and didn’t let him go when he tried to step back to wipe them, letting Neteyam cry silently as much as he wanted. He owed the boy that much, as his father. It was the least he could do. 
Jake would stitch this family back together. He had to.
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Washing the blood off his hands had taken a while. Jake wasn’t let off easy, cursed by the remaining line of bloodied dirt in his nails. 
He found Lo’ak at where it all began. The mouth of the cave where your ikran was disturbing the other ones with restless chittering, reminding Jake of a wolf howling all night at the full moon. 
His youngest son was transfixed by the blood staining the ground. Just standing there, looking at it. Jake couldn’t protect him from the sight. Not anymore. He himself could barely stomach it.
“Is sister going to be taken away?” was the first thing he asked Jake, not looking at him still. 
Jake didn’t know if he meant death, or Stxel’eveng. 
“I pray not,” he told Lo’ak, honest for once. 
And like him, the boy wasn’t sentimental or emotional enough to bear his wounds to another, even to a family member, and fell silent. “It has Toruk’s colors,” he said instead, referring to your ikran’s red, orange, yellow and black patterns. Looking at the creature, Jake tried his hardest to stand up straight when he discerned all the blood coating its neck and back from the natural red color disguising it. “I wanted to fly with her.”
Pulling him into a side-hug, “I’m sorry, Lo’ak,” Jake admitted, causing him to finally break the trance he had on the blood. Speechless at his father, proud and strong, admitting he was wrong out loud and that he was being hugged when it wasn’t like his father at all to show them casual physical affection. Jake knew what must be going through his head, he would be thinking the same if his own father had ever taken responsibility for wrongdoings, as well.  “It’s my fault you didn’t get to.”
Lo’ak’s mouth was hanging low. “Dad…”
“But you will,” he said, determined and full of hope. He had to be. For his children. 
“You think so?”
“I pray so,” he quoted Neteyam. “Your sister is stubborn. She will pull through. Don’t lose faith in her.”
Lo’ak’s grip on his forearm was painful. 
“That ikran’s lost the half of its tail fins,” the boy sniffled, thickening his voice to hide the tears. “How did it get all the way here?”
It stung in Jake’s chest. The same way you’d hidden that injury. Your ikran was fueled only by the desire to get its rider to safety, it seemed. 
It would never fly again. 
Jake looked down at Lo’ak, only to be met with him avoiding his look, still concerned with hiding the tears. “Loyalty,” he said. “Devotion. Sometimes you don’t want to lose the things you love no matter what, that desperation gives you enough strength to push through any trial by fire. You would do anything. Anything.” 
And sometimes it was fear that did it, but he didn’t mention that to Lo’ak to not put salt on their family’s injury. Jake didn’t want to think about how terrified you must have been, or he would actually go insane. He didn’t want to think about the possibility of you not making it in the end. He had to keep going. He had to push forward. Be the father this family needed him to be. 
“Come on, boy,” he pulled Lo’ak gently. “Let’s go back.”
Your ikran whined at this pitifully. Jake tried not to think. He tried not to imagine what your reaction would be upon learning you would never fly together again, and had to put down this ikran that had been devoted endlessly to you if you wanted to get a new one. 
Jake didn’t think. Because if he did, he would actually go insane from the pain. 
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Mo’at and Kiri emerged from the tent only in the morning, by which the whole family was cocooned in Jake’s embrace for the first time in years before the sky people had come back. They all had scrambled to get up, waiting with bated breath for one syllable of good news as Kiri slipped into Jake’s arms, one wink from falling asleep while standing. He kissed the girl’s head, soothing her, hoping this could be you eventually. He had been praying for it like a madman. 
“Eywa has accepted to bestow your daughter back to you, Jakesuli,” was the only answer Mo’at had for them, no word about your physical wellbeing. “But only if she accepts as well.” 
“I don’t understand.”
“You must go speak with her. At the Tree of Souls.”
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yandere-sins · 9 months
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“he follows until you are pressed to the cold wall, his arm around you, pulling you back so you wouldn’t have to be cold all night”
this made me remember that bed post, of how couples sleep Vs how single ppl sleep. Single ppl often have their bed up against the wall, cause it saves space and they don’t need to worry about falling off the bed, while couple usually have their bed in the middle with the headboard against the wall and the sides not touching anything, and that makes it easier for one of them to get up without having to disturb the other. This made me think… it would be such a yandere thing to do to have the bed pressed up against the wall anyways, so their darling can’t leave without them knowing or waking up. It just feels like such a subtly controlling action, where the darling wouldn’t be able to even go to the washroom in the middle of the night without the yandere allowing it. I mean, they prob would have had to wake up the yandere anyways if the yandere hugs them in their sleep, but this is still make the darling feel even more confined mentally, because they know that there is no way that they could sneak out so they would stress over whether they should wake up the yandere or if they would be able to tolerate it till morning comes. It makes you wonder if the yandere did it on purpose or by accident, especially if the yandere lives in a spacious house so there is no actual need to press the bed against the wall… ah, I just think it makes for a very nice small detail in this kind of scenario ☺️
(Sorry if this is rambling, I just woke up so my brain is muddled lol)
I haven't heard about that theory before! But it makes sense, now that I think about it :D
(Warning: Yandere, Sexual Mentions)
I can totally see yans taking advantage of that. Two entrances to the same bed are just taking up sooo much space (even if the room is completely empty otherwise, hehe). Why not make sure the darling has to do impossible aerobics to get on top and over their captor if they want to get out? Oh, the darling is such a tease, accidentally loosing their footing and waking the yandere with the beautiful sight of their darling on top of them. And then there's the wonderful spiel of:
"I just need to go to the toilet."
"Sure you do, darling."
Even if he yan knows the truth they just grip their darling's waist, keeping them in place and teasing them a little before allowing them to finally get off their captor and to the bathroom, the yan always following of course, yawning but excited to be up with their darling.
Or the very clingy yans that cannot imagine sleeping separately from their darling, even if the darling is sweating bullets because it's so damn hot in the room and locked in the yan's arms around them. They already abstain from drinking before going to bed, knowing they won't be able to free themselves of the yan's hold, so now they just hope to pass out from heatstroke or dehydration 'cause they are so fucking tired but can't sleep.
And then, of course, there's the aspect of being able to watch their darling all night long. It might take them a while with their captor staring down at them for hours to no end. How could they sleep with their sweet love right next to them? Pass up the chance to leave fluttering touches all over their bodies and whisper sweet nothings into their ear while they dream (hopefully of the yandere)? Never! They're just looking out for you—protecting you even! But the pleasure is all theirs, and the yan soaks up ever little utter or whimper from their darling, drunk on the vulnerable sight of their most precious darling. ♥
Oh, and can you imagine, those really mean yandere that drug their darlings? They are so freaking overjoyed when their darling is searching for any kind of comfort, after the yan put them into bed, while their brain is a huge mess. Darlings that cry and sob, but then bury their face in the yan's chest and the yan just instantly has a huge grin on their face as they pat their darlings head and rub their back, telling them everything is okay. They try to be empathetic but they just can't stop grinning, loosing their freaking mind from excitement. Yans who get so fucking hard/wet from their darling inching as close as possible to them, scared of some imaginary monsters they are trying to hide from, not realizing the monster is right in front of them.
Last but not least, sharing a bed doesn't just mean sharing a mattress. There's also just one blanket and one pillow, and the darling will be forced to stay near and rest their head on the yan's arm or chest. There's no escaping that, so they'll eventually admit defeat due to being so tired. But the morning after is when things get really interesting. When the mood shifts from sleepy to horny real quick, the yan not wanting to lose the warmth they shared all night, as always insatiable for their darling.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts!
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dilfl0v3rss · 10 months
Note
poly basketball player ony and aran
YES
having two very successful professional athletes as your boyfriends was a blessing and a curse. they were caring, smart, passionate about what they were doing, and gave you everything you could ever dream of having. there hasn’t been a day where you felt any less of the queen you already are and from the outside looking in, these men were calm and delicate when it came to you. always around to keep you safe and happy. you were as happy as can be with them, but every relationship has their issues. the main one in yours was their competitiveness.
“i won nigga get off the sticks and go wash the dishes” aran yelled, pointing to the kitchen where you were standing. you had told them an hour ago to wash the dishes and instead of just doing it, they decided to bet a game of 2k on it. the yelling and screaming coming from the living room irritated you so much that you washed them on your own to try to drown out the noise. as ony walked up to you, his tall figure already saw over your head that the dishes were done. a remorseful look on his face as he leaned down to give you a kiss on the cheek. “my fault mama, thank you” you rolled your eyes, ignoring him before walking towards your room.
this was a constant thing in your house whether it be who dressed better, who was smarter, who should get the bigger plate during breakfast, and the most common, who loved you more.
“i love her so much, i bought her a plane when her flight got delayed” ony smirked as he talked, his big hands rubbing on your back as you laid your stomach on his thighs, the rest of your body laying on aran’s lap. his big hands rubbing all over you ass while he replied. “that ain’t nun nigga. i love her so much, i bought her a house in every state so she don’t ever gotta worry about sleeping in a hotel when my matches are far away” ony rolled his eyes at his boyfriend, giving him a “duhh” look before replying. “how you think she be getting to the houses nigga? she takes the plane….dumbass” aran looked away, an embarrassed look on his face as he thought about what ony just said.
“well my dick is bigger nigga, now what?” the dark skin male laughed, his hand leaving your back to cop a feel of aran's manhood. he gave him a knowing look. “be furreal nigga y'know my shit bigger. that was cute tho” you rolled your eyes, sighing loudly as you got up from the both of them. “ohh my goddd do y'all ever just shut up?” you spit before walking away to your room. before you reached the door a small smirk graced your features as you came up with an idea to help them get along. “both of y'all dicks is little so ion even know why y'all arguing furreal”your words brought a mix of confusion and anger to both of their faces before ony and aran turned to look towards each other. silently communicating there next actions before getting up and making their way towards you. “we gon see about that”
your boyfriends argued almost everyday, using there bantering as a way to show their love for each other. you knew they'd never downplay each others love for you for real, always in the others defense in the media when different blogs would try to put them against each other. they always saved their arguing for when they were in private or in the comfort of their home and when at home there was only one way to shut them up.
“mhmm i know ma” aran mumbled as he listened to your pretty whines. his big hands outstretched on your ass while you made out with ony. all three of you sat on your knees as aran fucked you from behind and you stroked ony's dick in front go you with your pretty hand, your other hand on ony's his shoulder to keep yourself from falling over. “how she feel baby?”he moaned as he felt your hand tighten around him. aran matched his boyfriends moan with one of his own. “good...fuck...real good da” his dick twitched inside of your wet walls as he watched his the darkskin male tightly grip your neck before giving you a sloppy kiss. ony's eyes never left aran's as he let his tongue slide in and out of your wet mouth.
aran knew was ony was doing, purposely teasing him to bring him closer to his orgasm, but he had just the thing for that. his big brown hands gripped your hips before he started deepening his strokes, his pace increasing to get you to moan into ony's mouth just the way he loved. "aauughh fuck papa m'finna cum" you whined, your hand slowing to a stop on ony's dick as you felt your orgasm approaching. before you knew it, there was a hard slap brought to your ass by aran, his thrusts never faltering as he spoke. “don't stop touching him mama, daddy gotta cum too” a smirk grew on ony's face at the interaction, his dick twitching in delight at your obedience when you brought your hand back to him.
you were enjoying every minute of this. letting the men you love take control over your body and bring you to some of the best orgasms you'll ever received. ony squeezed your neck, pulling you from your thoughts as he brought his lips to your ear. “throw that shit back mama, make em feel real good so he can fill you up. you want papa to fill you up right?” you quickly nodded your head, listening to his command instantly. the feeling of your ass meeting his thrusts made aran moan, his release getting closer and closer as he felt your arousal begin to drip to the sheets. your walls fluttered repeatedly as you felt your orgasm begin to rush through you. "m'cummin oh my god m'cumminnn" your pretty cry brought ony to his orgasm as well, his dick pushing out thick streams of cum that rolled down his tip and onto your hand.
aran began to deepen his thrusts, using your release as lubricant to move quicker inside you. “fuck mama ima give you all this nut, hold still f'me” you tried your best to listen, stilling you body from shaking in overstimulation as you felt all of his inches move in and out of you. as aran fucked you, you watched ony make his way to his side, letting you fall to the bed before giving aran a sloppy kiss on the lips. his hand rubbed up and down aran's chest just the way he liked as he continued to let his tongue dance inside his mouth. in no time he was cumming, his thick load shooting into you had he slowed his thrusts. “thank you da” aran sighed as he caught his breath. ony gave him another slow kiss on the lips, his hand still on his chest as he spoke. “of course baby”
as they brought their attention to you, they noticed that you were already asleep. chuckles flew from both of them as they got off the bed to clean up. “where you goin?” aran asked as he watched ony begin to carry your towards the bathroom. “we finna take a bath while you clean the sheets” the brownskin man sucked his teeth before walking towards your sleeping form in his boyfriends arms. “you took a bath wit her last time, you said you was gon take a shower wit me this time after we bathe her together” ony rolled his eyes, before turning back around to go in the bathroom. “that was before you made me wash your dishes nigga” aran opened his mouth to argue but was cut off by your sleepy, annoyed voice. "if y'all don't shut up y'all gon be together on the couch" the two men looked at each other, silently communicating that they did't want to have to share a couch between their big tall bodies.
“my fault ma”
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chososluv · 4 months
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P L U G ! Y U K I
✎₊˚⊹♡ summary & note: a continuation of my plug series and my interpretation of what plug!yuki would be like. i really enjoyed writing this one might've been my favorite thus far. . .sortve proofread and subject to edit! it i just got rlly excited to share this ˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶
🏷 tags & warnings:  smut 18+, black!fem reader, black coded, weed smoking, oral sex, fingering, creaming, squirting, yuki got da strap, petnames (ma,mamas, pretty girl) top!yuki but mentions of you returning the favor
✎₊˚ word count: 3.9k
minors do not interact
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Plug!Yuki is a girl's girl.
Unlike plug!toji and plug!choso, Plug!Yuki and you developed a relationship as really good friends before she became your plug. You confided in her one evening in passing that you hadn’t smoked in so long and missed the cannabis high from your undergraduate years. She decided to let you in on a secret at your proclamation.
"You know I'm a plug.... right, mama?"
Plug!Yuki had took that time to casually drop on you that she was a lucrative supplier and that's how she was paying her student loans off. It was quite a surprise to you if you were honest. You knew she smoked, but you didn’t know she was one of the most popular dealers on campus.
Plug!Yuki would start slipping you nugs for you to try out from the new strains she would cop from a new drops. It was from the first quarter ounce she gave you for free it became unspoken that she was your plug going forward and you loved it. She wasn’t a shady nigga who only spoke to you through snapchat, but instead a gorgeous, stunning, and trustworthy woman.
Plug!Yuki's looks aside, she's a legit business woman with her craft. She packages up all her drops in pretty pink bags and sometimes throws in medicinal paper wraps fused with lavender and fancy shit. All of these things at your disposal for free because Yuki Tsukumo liked you that much. You almost had it all.
Almost because you had a sweltering crush on Plug!Yuki.
Smoking in close quarters with Plug!Yuki was truly a test of your discipline. Whether it was in the car, at her place, or at yours, the background melted away and she had your undivided attention. A gravitational pull seems to always occur because you always ended up so close to her. So close you can always see the way her soft lips pucker against the blunt and always you yearn to taste them directly and not from the blunt you share.
Plug!Yuki is a goddess when she smokes. Everything about the way she inhales, exhales, and giggles when she's under the influence of cannabis makes you feel deeply enticed by her even more. The way her eyes sink low and go red made her face fall into a seductive gleam and whenever she looks at you with it you feel so weak.
You can’t recall when you started crushing on Plug!Yuki, but you remember one night you awoke with an ache between your thighs, breath raging as you recovered from a wet dream of your best friend and plug going down on you. From that moment forward you felt different towards her, but you never entertained telling her. You didn't want to ruin the beautiful and close relationship you two have. So, you pushed yourself into thinking you would grow out of it or maybe someone would distract you from her.
But Plug!Yuki would never let that happen.
Contrarily to you, Plug!Yuki was confronted with her feelings for you when one of her best friends, Suguru, asked about you.
"Whats up with y/n? You think I got a chance with mama, Yuki?" Yuki turned her head a bit too fast at her friend, arching an eyebrow as jealousy and possessiveness began to spread through her veins like a nasty virus.
"Fallback, if you wanna keep this friendship, Suguru." Plug!Yuki answered honestly and Shoko bursted into boisterous laughter.
"You owe me!" She said before puffing off her lit cigarette. Satoru could be heard groaning, fishing money out of his pocket to slap into the woman's hand.
"Wait so is y/n completely off limits or is just Suguru because mama got a fat-" Satoru couldn't finish his sentence because Yuki promptly picked up a nearby object and hurled it at Satoru's direction. He giggled, ducking before running out the room before Yuki decided throwing shit wasn't enough and needed to shoot him. Everyone present to that moment sees Plug!Yuki has feelings for you and knew it was only a matter a time before she finally acted on them. But they saw that look in Yuki's eyes whenever you were around and knew the mental blockade she was at war with. That internal battle of fear and rejection was holding Yuki back from making a move on you.
Women weren't hard for Yuki. If she wanted a girl she always got her, but you were different. Yuki didn't want to fumble you and she knew if she did she would be devastated.
So here the both of you were, crushing on one another yet no one made a move.
Until tonight. . .
Plug!Yuki and you currently sat smoking in her bedroom. You were laying down as the woman sat up, sharing a blunt between the two of you. It is a break between semesters and you two unwind the best way you two know how. Giggles fill the air along with the fragrance of cannabis and aroma from the takeout you two ordered earlier. The evening is languid and lazy just how you two wanted after a stressful semester.
“I missed you, mamas.” Plug Yuki coons, her voice raspy from smoking but the deeper voice is sexy on her. The husky tone made you shiver yet you feel heat flush to your cheeks at the pet name. Coupled with that and how intense Yuki looks at you tonight something felt different. Her stares seem to be lingering longer and the touches seem to be far more intimate than usual. Or maybe it was the strain you guys were smoking this evening?
"I missed you more," you pout, hand coming to her thigh and you stroke it delicately, "seeing Satoru and Suguru made me realize how bad I was deprived of you." Plug!Yuki wants to focus on your sweet words but she raises a brow.
"When were you with them?" The sudden question should throw you off, but the cannabis makes you miss the slight agitation in her voice.
"Couple days ago, they offered to take me to lunch for finishing the semester." You say to her and she rolls her eyes. You only laugh, playfully smacking her thigh from where your hand rested.
“They didn’t make you feel weird or anything right?” You shook your head.
“They were respectful,” you look up at Yuki from your position from the bed, “calm down. No one is gonna take me from you, baby.” You’re teasing her and don’t realize the affect your words have on her. The pink lighting in her room hides the light blush that dusts along her cheeks and she shakes her head, trying to shake that stupid grin that wants to stretch across her lips.
“They can be weird ass muthafuckas. Just making sure they didn’t try anything.” Yuki grumbles, taking a hit from the blunt to calm her nerves and you only peer at her. You have a smile on your face as you stretch out a hand to take the blunt.
“You mean they some ho ass niggas and you making sure they didn’t holla at me.” Still wearing that lazy grin, you inhale the blunt as you see the look that flashes over her face. You realize you were right.
“Yes that exactly, mama.” Yuki said, not bothering to fix up a lie because she knows you would see right through it. You look adoringly at her and offer the blunt back. She takes a generous drag, your expression sending butterflies to her stomach before you speak.
"Don't worry. They aren't my type, babes." You softly giggle, continuing to look up at Yuki and she smiles at the pet name. She has to take another hit from the blunt, more butterflies setting lose but with those butterflies came courage sprouting within. She takes this feeling and runs with it before she let cowardice return.
"What exactly is your type, beautiful?" The pet name comes out of Yuki's mouth before she can stop herself. She just wanted to come off casual and curious but now she feels like she's revealed her angle. Her crush on you felt obvious now and time seemed to slow as she awaited your response. Yuki sees you smile wide, peering up at her through your lashes before you spoke.
"Not Geto Suguru." You soothe her, that hand that you had on her thigh earlier creeped back. Your sneaky fingers began drawing circles and you bit back a cheeky smile as you felt goosebumps erect on her strong thighs. Yuki stares at you, wondering how you caught on to her disdain towards him lately. Ever since his comment about you she felt so sensitive regarding any topic pertaining to you. It got to the point where even just his name rolling off your tongue began to make her feel jealous.
So, when you had lunch with Suguru and Satoru you just had to ask.
"Something happen between you and Yuki?" You ask, taking a sip of your drink and Satoru looks at Suguru. Suguru only furrows his thick eyebrows, confused just as much as Satoru.
"No. Why did she say something?" Suguru asks and you shook your head.
"No, but she acts funny when I mention you." Lightbulbs seem to have went off in Satoru's head because a grin spreads across his face.
"Oh she's got it bad." The comment seemed to jolt something in Suguru's head too because then he laughed, making a noise of recollection and slapping the table in excitement.
"Oh fuck yeah, you're right!," Suguru looks at you, seeing the confused expression before explaining, "Yuki got mad cause I asked to holla at you. I think ole girl crushing on you, mama." Suguru finishes and you look at Satoru to see him nodding in confirmation. You look back at Suguru, not only shocked because 1) yuki did have a crush on you 2) suguru also had a crush on you but 3) not only did suguru have a crush on you but Yuki too?
You felt like your world was a giant paradox. You felt like time was slowed down, yet it was fast. You felt like the world was spinning, yet it was at a standstill. That feeling of your crush liking you back? You felt jubilant and delirious.
"Oh and don't tell Yuki we told you, ma. She'll kill us."
"Yeah please y/n."
You fall back to present time to watch the pretty woman lick her lips, eyes falling to the bed before she spoke.
"He's got a crush on you." Yuki says.
"I know." You answer, looking at Yuki as you waited for her to spill her own feelings.
"He wants you." Yuki sneers and you rub gentle circles to attempt to soothe her. You sit up from the bed, realizing this conversation was taking a serious turn. Upon sitting up, you didn't realize how close you were to Yuki until your noses were inches apart.
None of you dare to move though.
"I don't want him." You say, fingers skating up her thighs but Yuki doesn't notice. Or at least, she pretends not to.
"Who do you want, y/n?" Yuki finally has the courage to ask. You hold a stare with the woman, heat spreading along your cheeks as the question hangs heavy. You already had the answer though, you rehearsed it a million times since lunch with Suguru and Satoru.
"You, baby." You say. You barely can get a breath in before her soft lips you've been dreaming about are finally on yours. Elated can't even begin to describe the feeling resonating through your entire beings.
Plug!Yuki is the best kisser. She's precise, romantic, yet so salacious and seductive you kept chasing after her lips for more. Her sweet taste of mango gloss mixed with her natural sweetness was destined to become one of your favorite flavor. She takes a second to pause but you only try to dive back in for more. Her thumb comes to your bottom lip to stop you, giggling as she drinks in your needy expression.
"Been wantin' you for sometime, pretty girl." She confesses. You smile against her thumb, kissing the pad before speaking.
"I'm yours, baby."
Plug!Yuki makes you wish you confess sooner with the way her tongue skates along your swollen clit. She flickers her muscle skillfully, stimulating the beating nub in explicit and lewd circles that left you mewling and panting. Her blonde locks tickle your inner thighs as she feasts on your pussy.
No amount of vivid wet dreams could prepare you for the actual experience of Yuki eating you out.
"You taste so good, mama." Plug!Yuki moans shamelessly, she's squeezing her thighs together, knowing she has her own mess in her panties but she can't care. Not with the way you smell so delightful and writhe against her tongue. She looks up, seeing your nipples pebble through the thin cami you wore.
"Aaah—Yuki!" You're whimpering as she takes your clit in her mouth. She suckles, her soft finger slipping in curiously to feel the warmth of your cunt. She moans against your clit, vibrations sending you wailing as well as the sudden pressure from her finger. Yuki slips a second finger inside, loving the way your cunt squeezes so tightly around her fingers. The soft squelching your gummy walls made whenever she curved them up was an addicting melody to her ears. She was becoming pissed at herself for not acting on her desires for you sooner.
"You're so wet, baby." Yuki comments, looking down to see her fingers drenched with your arousal and cream and she's licking her lips. She pulls her tongue off your clit, sticking her fingers in her mouth to savor the taste. She's moaning lewdly and you only whimper from the loss of her ministrations. She smiles, looking up at you before crawling up your body.
Plug!Yuki is dying to have your nipples in her mouth. Ever since she saw them peek out for the first time due to a tanktop you wore she’s been wondering what they felt like against her tongue. What they tasted like and how sensitive they were crossed her mind too and now finally she would get her questions answered. She pulls down your top, freeing your breast and her tongue is aching to be back on your body. She licks her lips before speaking.
"Been dying to have these pretty brown nipples in my mouth so bad you don't even understand, pretty girl."
Plug!Yuki sucks on your nipples, her hot tongue swirling along your areola and the sensation drives you wild. Your back arches off the bed, fingers carding in her golden strands before pushing her face deeper into your chest. You let out out whimpers as she sloppily kisses and sucks on your nipples.
"Aahaaa—Yuki!—feels so good!" You praise when she sneaks her fingers back in. That warmth and wetness around her fingers again has her wondering if you needed her to dick you down.
"So wet and tight," Yuki releases your nipple, her lips wet and shiny from her salvia, "think you can take my strap, pretty girl?"
You didn't need her to ask you twice.
Plug!Yuki fucks you from behind like you never been fucked before.
The blonde woman has you face down in a nasty ass arch as she pistons her pretty pink dildo through your tight folds. You're whimpering, pleading even for her to not stop as she continues to give you the best dick of your life. You can't recall the last time someone made you feel this good during sex and you knew damn well no man could ever slang like she could.
"Yu—ki! Fucknnnggg!" She's fucking you dumb and you go stupid hearing your own ass recoil against her harness and the soft squelching of your cunt against her silicone piece. You want to bite on your lip to keep from screaming but she felt so good bullying herself between your folds.
"Feel good? Huh, my pretty girl?" Plug!Yuki cooes, still fucking you and a strong hand strikes down on your ass. You whimper, crying out and let out a hiss when her domineering fingers find themselves in your hair. She's pulling the dense curls, forcing you to lift your head from the pillow.
"I can't fucking hear you, y/n." With a growl she strikes your ass one more time. Tears are coming from your eyes at the pain, but when your cunt twitches and lets out a soft leak, you know you're in love with the feeling of Yuki being rough with you.
"Yuki! You fuck me so goooood!" You praise, crying out as you felt a soft and tense sensation begin to form in the walls of your cunt. You knew the feeling, but knew of only yourself being able to do it. No one was able to hit those parts of you and yet . . .
You squirt all over Plug!Yuki.
"Creamy as fuck and you squirt? Fuck, I'm never letting this pussy go."
Plug!Yuki has to pull herself out to slurp up your folds. You cry, enjoying how her tongue dances from your clit to your soaking hole. Her tongue collects your arousal, slurping noisily and the sounds — along with her tongue — have you rolling your eyes back. You're huffing, moaning as her tongue continues to skate along your soaked labia. When she felt satisfied she slips herself back in you with no warning.
Plug!Yuki continues drilling into you. Your wet pussy, Yuki's groans, and your pathetic whines were the only sounds to fill the room. Yuki savored each and every moan that fell from your lips. Her ego swelled as her pussy drooled. Her cockiness resonating in her brutal strokes and a grin on her face, knowing Suguru — or any other man — couldn’t make you feel the way she was right now.
"You're so good for me, pretty girl." She hears your moans increase an octave, pants becoming more frequent as you struggle to even swear at this point. You whimper, sobbing into her pillow as she never let up her relentless thrusts. Her stamina was that of a godly one and you were loving every second of it.
"Yuki — i'm so close—” You manage to warn and Yuki grins. She leans down, her skin touching yours and her skin sets ablaze. She lets out ragged breaths in your ear that send jolts down your spine, adding more to your sensory pleasure and she kisses your cheek.
"Want you to cum all over me." Plug!Yuki coaches, throwing her hips harder against your ass. The pink tip kisses deeply in your cervix, causing you to choke out. Your body begins to tremble as you felt that familiar tingle build in the walls of your cunt. You nod, screwing your eyes shut as her strokes became more animalistic.
"I'm gonna cum—Yuki!" You scream her name when she sneaks a finger on your clit. She rubs fast, causing you to choke and clamp down on her as you prepare yourself to tumble into bliss. The white hot sensational building in your clit and she presses harder and rubs even faster. She lifts her lips to your ears before speaking, her gentle words sending you over the edge.
"I gotchu, pretty girl go ahead and cum for me."
Plug!Yuki gives you the best orgasm of your life.
Plug!Yuki peppers kisses along your spine as you came down from your orgasm high. Your thighs are shaking from the intensity of it all, goosebumps all over your body and Yuki trails affectionate and gentle caresses up and down your body to coax you through your orgasm. She finishes up her trail of kisses and you eventually make it back to Earth. You roll onto your back to look at the caring woman above you. Concern is over her eyes, but all that drifts away when you shoot her a sensual grin.
"What?" Plug!Yuki would say and you only bring a hand back to her thigh.
"You think this is over? Park that pretty pussy on my face I been dying for a taste." You say obscenely.
You don't need to tell Plug!Yuki twice and she mounts your face.
Plug!Yuki's moans were just as beautiful as herself.
Your tongue savors every last drop, her cunt was completely soaked between going down on you then her dicking you down. A buffet awaited you and you were moaning as you licked up every last drop. Yuki moans, hissing and even whimpering your name when you suckled on her clit. Her cream is all over your nose but you didn't care with the way she moaned your name.
"Fuck, y/n." Plug!Yuki sighs out, her hips starting to move back and forth on your tongue. You immediately caught on and stuck it out, letting her ride it and she moans louder. Yuki starts to ruts faster and her tits bounce, the scene making you horny yet again. You try to ignore that tingling that starts to awaken in your belly once more.
"Taste so good, baby." You praise her and she sighs, eyebrows scrunching as another moan fell from her mouth. You move your tongue back to focus on her clit, taking the swollen nub and sneaking a hand between her soaked folds. She lets a sensual croon when you shove two fingers inside her hungry cunt. The sound only makes you place a third finger in. She gasps, her cunt beating around your fingers as you stretch her with your digits.
"Tongue feels so good." Plug!Yuki praises you and you moan, curving your fingers into Yuki harder. More arousal seeps out of her, oozing onto your chin and chest.
"Oh yeah? What about my fingers?" You tease Plug!Yuki. A smile comes onto her face but she answers.
"Fucking fantastic, mama." Plug!Yuki tells you. You giggle, kitten licking her clit with the tip of your tongue causing her to shudder above you.
"Good." You tell her before kissing on her clit and going back to enjoying your meal. You curve your fingers faster, earning louder moans from Yuki above you as you continue suckling on her clit.
"Y/n, fuck—i might—” You find the strength to fuck her even faster, feeling the way Yuki's cunt sucks around you greedily. You suck harder on her clit and flicker your tongue faster. Yuki shrieks, letting out an erotic scream as a soft geyser pours out of her folds. Your mouth catches it, and what it doesn't spills along your chin and drips along your chest, soaking you completely. You're moaning at her squirting all over your face and you take your fingers out of her cunt. You place both hands on her hips, sliding yourself from under her before pushing Yuki down on her back.
Plug!Yuki watches as you take the very same strap she used earlier on you and secure it on yourself. You look down at the blonde woman who has her hair wild, legs spread, cunt glistening in the pink light. You smile as you realize you wouldn't have it any other way.
"My turn."
And Plug!Yuki knows she's in for a long ass night. . .
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©𝐜𝐡𝐨𝐬𝐨𝐬𝐥𝐮𝐯 ╰┈┈➤ MASTERLIST!
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machiavellli · 5 months
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Some spicy Theodore Nott headcanons˚ ༘ ೀ⋆。˚
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Notes: this was like driving: I don't have a driver license. Seriously like, you absolutely hyped me up for writing this and now I feel like I need to go touch some grass and drink some holy water.
Btw we shouldn't feel ashamed, like the first people ever to write in a language that is more similar to ours, literally wrote about about two nun fuck1ng him 108 times (yes that's what he says) in a week bc they thought he was mute. Like women in the 700 were DYING bc of novels, bc they couldn't never have enough of it and the majority developed a masturbat1on add1ction. We can't be worse, that's just humanity at its core: we are h0rny creatures.
⚠️: The blue parts are from a poem, from the author Giacomo da Lentini and it's called "Meravigliosamente" (| put a translation at the end, because it's ancient Italian and you can't translate it with a normal translator). It's one of my favorites poems ever, it's one the best incarnation of what love feels like. Yeah now the poets are cursing at me from above.
Warnings: MINORS DO NOT INTERACT! 18+!!Breeding k1nk, p in v, ora1 f receiving, pregnant! reader description, nak3d people in general (idk what to put, BUT YOU HAVE BEEN ADVISED). English is not my first language, therefore you could find some mistakes, please report them to me!
With all being said: enjoy<3
—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—
Theodore Nott, your Italian Slytherin guy:
Theo loves to love as we already established.
He loves to give, he would let his blood dry for you.
Therefore he likes to take care of his dear ones, especially you, il suo tesoro.
I also already told you about how he will think about your future together, how he would love to have a proper family with you.
He just wants to have what his family wasn't capable of giving him.
So when the seventh year it's over, it also means that his only obstacle, the one that used to keep him away from his dream, is also over.
Something changes inside of him, un istinto primario prende il sopravvento. He knows that now it is actually possible.
«Meravigliosamente
un amor mi distringe
e soven ad ogn'ora.»
Maybe the first few months it wouldn't be so evident, he would probably keep it for himself.
He wouldn't like to put pressure on you, he couldn't.
But every time you get intimate, tutte le volte che fate l'amore, he can't help but think what it will feel like letting himself go completely.
Letting it happen.
Letting himself have a proper release.
Letting himself paint your inside white.
His warm finding the embrace of your core.
Planting a life, creating it with il suo tesoro, la sua diletta.
That's the ultimate dream e cazzo quanto lo vorrebbe.
«Com'omo che ten mente
in altro exemplo pinge
la simile pintura,
cosi, bella, facc'eo,
che’nfra lo core meo
porto la tua figura.»
But for now he still has to curse within himself, "cazzo, cazzo, cazzo.", imprisoning that release, that dream.
Simply wishing he could stay inside, saving every drop for you.
It's so hard for him to distract himself from the heavy daydreaming.
His mind as pregnant with thoughts as he wish you were.
You would just look so gorgeous round with his child.
And he would easily do everything under the sight of your new silhouette.
(As he wasn't already totally lost in this love, this passion per la sua bella)
This particular scene keeps repeating in his cursed mind:
You, full and completely bare before him sitting on your shared bed, nonchalantly putting cream on every inch of your skin after a shower.
He might be at the doorstep looking from afar or already on the bed
But it always ends with him interrupting you, taking your hands with devotion, already giving you passions with just his eyes, just for him to say: "dimmi quello che desideri e sarà tuo"
And he would literally do anything.
«Al cor m'ard'una doglia,
com'om che te lo foco
a lo suo seno ascoso,
e quanto più lo'nvoglia,
tanto arde più loco
e non po star incluso»
He would let you exploit his tongue in favor of your pleasure, savoring every drop coming from down there.
Growling just at your moist sight
And he would taste you like a starved man.
Over and over again.
On the bed,
On the Couch,
At the dinner table.
Sempre e ovunque.
Holding you still with one of his firm hands on your now round stomach.
Non è mai stato così facile inginocchiarsi e predicare da quando la sua religione, la sua donna angelo, sei diventata tu.
You look like a miracle to him.
And he would absolutely get lost in this strong trance filled with amore, passione e lussuria.
He would delicately lay your figure on the bed, like the most precious Greek statue of a goddess.
But the softness of your skin will make him realize that you are not a vision, but his blessed reality.
Your fullness getting in the way would quickly become the most delicious sight ever in his eyes.
His dead stare penetrating your soul along with his physical body.
He would tell you that his eyes look gone because he is convinced to be already dead and already in Paradise.
So lost in the haze, so convinced of the woman under him to be an angel.
And now, he is making her la madre dei suoi figli, sua moglie, la sua fiamma, da qui all'eternità.
Your legs, now afar from each other, looking like the most rare prophecy.
The softness of your skin feeling like the salvation from every sin.
Your swollen breast moving along his movements in you, rhythmically, like a fine melody.
And if by chance a single tear of your product falls from them, his eyes would shine like the sun during August.
He won't esitate to collect it with his mouth, tasting yet another one of your miracles. He wouldn't hold back the raw attitude taking over his mind, he simply couldn't.
«Assai v'aggio laudato,
madonna, in tutte parti
di bellezze ch'avete.»
When you two got together he thought he couldn't love you more, the same on your wedding day, but now he would simply let this love tear him apart he would still and always pray in your name.
In the morning he would wake you up gently, caressing you cheeks, watching as the eyes that caught his soul slowly open.
He would prepare breakfast for you, taking it directly in bed.
And every day will only be about you and you only.
Need a bath? Already prepped and warm amore.
You have swollen feet? A massage from him is mandatory.
Need to put the nursery together? Consider it done.
And don't get me started on the amount of stuff that he would buy for your unborn child.
He just wants to make sure everything will be ready for the big day.
But that's just a dream, playing tricks with his mind.
«Canzonetta novella,
va canta nova cosa;
lèvati da maitino
davanti a la più bella,
fiore d'ogn'amorosa,
bionda più ch'auro fino»
"Theo, darling, are you still here?" you ask him after two solid minutes of him staring at you, to the point that you were starting to feel suffocated by his gaze.
His pupils blown, and as his breathing increase, he finally snaps back from daydreaming.
But now, now it's been months of this agony, della sua mente completamente offuscata dal desiderio.
He just can't help himself anymore, he is a direct and honest person, he can't continue to keep this away from you.
And with the most serious expression known to mankind and his eyes firmly buried into yours, he doesn't hesitate anymore:
"Facciamo un figlio amore, facciamolo adesso, non ne posso più d'aspettare, non posso più nemmeno aspettare che er mondo faccia n'altro giro" he would tell you in one breath.
You kiss him delicately, "Allora non esitare, non aspettare che la luna fugga Mr.Nott"
"Ai suoi ordini Signora Nott"
"Ti amo tantissimo" the last thing he would tell you before finally letting himself completely go, completamente perso in questo amore, si che possa ammirare te, te sospirare e te amare, te soltanto.
—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—
Okay so here's the translation of the poem, the canzonetta, which as I said it's called "Meravigliosamente", in English “Wonderfully":
My ask box is open!✨🥂
<- part II
-> part III?
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goldustwomun · 22 days
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all of me wants all of you (s.b.)
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pairing: sirius black x younger potter!reader
summary: something about your relationship with sirius black had never sit quite right with you, and now that he's back after two years of travelling the world, you're beginning to think that you'll soon find out what'll happens if the two of you finally fall over the edge of whatever precipice you've been teetering close to all these years. plus, you've got to work with him all summer, so what's the worst that could happen?
warnings: angst so much angst, some healing as well, hugs from a concerned mother, more angst, more angst, fluff?, actual communication omg, do you ever meet someone's eyes and just one look from them has you breaking down and bawling, yeah :) , not proofread but i'll do it in the morning!!
wc: 3.3k+
note: i've been on some sort of writing kick so enjoy these daily updates D: anyway can y'all tell i'm MISSING my mum. only four more weeks though! x
pt i. / pt ii. / pt iii.
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You were elbow deep in a sink of dirty dishes, your Mum towelling dry the plates next to you, when you finally came out and said it.
“Am I a disappointment, Mum?”
She froze right there, arms poised and plate hovering mid-air. It was only a second later when she recovered, gently placing the dish on the counter when she turned to look at you. Her head was titled in that concerned way of hers, and you’re not sure what it was about the look in her eyes – of hurt and worry and love – but the tears started flowing right then and there.
“Oh, my love, how could you ever think that?” she questioned, tugging you into her arms, not caring about the water from your hands or the tears from your eyes soaking her new cotton dress. She smelled of chamomile tea and custard creams and home. And as much as you thought you hated her sometimes; her reassurance was what you needed most when the world seemed out to get you.
“You could never disappoint me or Da’, you know that.” She pulled back, forcing you to look up into her eyes, noticing the shimmer across her own irises. “Tell me you know that my sweetest girl.”
“I—” and your voice broke but you kept going— “I don’t know if I do.” With a deep breath you tried to explain it all. “It just seems like everyone hates me sometimes. And I guess it, I’m difficult, I know that I am, but sometimes—I mean, a lot of the time, really, it feels like I can’t control it. When I argue and bicker and stomp away in a tantrum. It’s these feelings—I have so many, and I never know what to do with them, and it’s like drowning in indecision and I always make the wrong choice.”
“I know, love, I know,” she soothed, pulling you back in and smoothing her palm across your hair. You melted into her embrace like you hadn’t since you were ten years old. “You’re so much like me, you know? I swear, hear it every time we’re out with our friends. And when I was your age, I felt that way too. Lost and overwhelmed and like I wasn’t enough.”
“So, what did you do—to get rid of those feelings, I mean?” you asked, already dreading her answer.
“I didn’t. And you shouldn’t want to, either.” You almost lifted your head to argue but stopped yourself before you could. “Your emotions and feelings and thoughts and dreams—they make you who you are. Of course, it’s important to acknowledge the root of the ones that pester you the most and try to understand why they have such a hold over you. And maybe it’s my fault, really, for not saying it more, but we are so so proud of you.”
“I think you say it more to James and Sirius than you do to me,” you pointed out, a slight bite to your words but not enough to sting.
“James is, well, James. I can’t deny that he’s occasionally—” you raised your eyebrow incredulously at that and she responded with an amused eyeroll— “struggled with his classes and getting it together, so it seemed important to guide him in the right direction with praises. Sirius, on the other hand—well, we’re all he has. We just wanted him to feel loved.”
You nodded, understanding, but not sure how you fit into all of this. “Then you, my love. When you were younger you were always naturally good at things. I never understood where you got that from cause it certainly wasn’t from me. You put little effort into things and excelled, so maybe I got used to the idea that I knew you’d always be alright even if I didn’t say anything. But that’s my fault, I shouldn’t have withheld my pride out of laziness.”
“I don’t think you’re lazy, Mum,” you urged, but she hushed you with that stern voice of hers.
“I’m sure you don’t but shush because I won’t admit it again,” she scolded, her voice entirely mocking and somewhere between those tears, you managed a smile. “Your Da’ and I always knew you’d go on to do brilliant things. You’re intelligent, and passionate, and those muggle kids of yours adore you. You’re shaping their lives in ways you can’t even know, and they’re lucky to have you, just like I am, my sweet girl.”
She leaned forward, placing a kiss to the crown of your head.
“And do you hate that I live at home still?”
She reeled back, both shocked and confused. “of course not. We love having you here! It’s entirely selfish, really. Got to convert James’ old room into a study, as well as keep you around for the company and to help with chores. If anything, I don’t want you to move out,” she explained, serious. “Really, if you had more natural light in your room, we would’ve helped you to a new place the second you graduated from Hogwarts.”
You barked out a laugh at that, entirely believing her. “Okay, okay. I get it. I’m wanted, or whatever.” You could feel your cheeks flaring at the thought of saying it out loud, but you ignored the feeling to relish in your Mum’s embrace a little while longer.
“Oh, yeah—whatever,” she teased, reaching up to wipe a stray tear from your face. “You could never disappoint me.”
All you could do was nod before your face dropped with apprehension. “What—what is it, love?” she asked, concerned herself.
“Well, you see, you say that now but I did something kind of dumb…” you trailed off, unable to confess just yet.
“What did you—you didn’t murder someone, did you? Because I love you but I don’t think I could manage Azkaban with those arthritis flare ups I’ve been getting.”
“What--! Mum, no, I didn’t—how could I? How could you think I’d be capable of murder?!” and really it had been the longest you’d gone without absolutely belting at someone.
“You are quite easily irritated,” she reasoned.
“If people stopped being so irritating—” you stopped, taking a deep breath, before confessing— “No, it’s both better and worse.”
“Go on,” she encouraged, but even she didn’t seem entirely convinced.
“I kissed Sirius.”
And it was like crickets between the two of you. Not a scolding shout or a cry of horror or—
“Okay… and is that it?” she asked bluntly.
“What do you mean ‘is that it?’. It’s wild, unbelievable, otherworldly, even!” you sputtered, not quite comprehending the calm with which she was speaking.
“Oh, don’t be dramatic, love. It’s not a good look,” and she pushed you out of the way to continue scrubbing at the dirty dishes, ignoring your stunned frame.
“Aren’t you going to ask me ‘why’?” you pushed, peering over her shoulder to check she was very much alive and breathing and not pranking you with a bit of some sort.
“I don’t need to, I know why,” she answered simply. You balked, tugging her shoulder back so she halted her movements and turned to face you.
“And what might that ‘why’ be?”
“It’s simple, really. You love him, you’ve always loved him. Since you were five and he pushed James into the dirt for stealing your copy of that Tiger, Wizard, and Cabinet’ book.”
You couldn’t help the way your hand slapped against your face right then, from exhaustion or exasperation, you weren’t sure. “It’s the Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe, Mum,” you groaned.
“That definitely doesn’t sound right,” she pouted. “Anyway, he got the book back from James and you were so pleased you came up to me and said ‘Mummy, I think Sirius isn’t so bad after all, can we keep him?’. And when I explained the laws around owning human beings, you huffed and hid under the dining room table all day until you fell asleep.”
“Well, that does sound like me…”
“Of course, it sounds like you. I’m your mother,” she chided. “You didn’t start pretending to hate Sirius until you were about ten or eleven and he got that first girlfriend of his. What was her name—Lacey? Macey?”
“Stacey,” you chewed out, only to realise the anger with which you spoke her name despite never having known her. “Oh—”
“’Oh’ indeed. And what did you say to young Sirius after this kiss?” she pried, entirely engrossed in the story now as she rested her hip against the damp counter.
“I might’ve—you know---”
“No! you didn’t!” she burst out, already knowing exactly what you were going to say.
“I did, Mum, I did,” you moaned, pathetic and questioning if there was any way to rectify the situation, you’d found yourself in.
“Well, I can’t help you with that, love. You’re on your own, kid,” she explained, wiping her hands clean before sending you off (you weren’t entirely sure where, exactly) with a pat on your back.
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If you were anyone else, you would’ve taken such an encouraging conversation and somewhat-healed trauma of your childhood as a sign to go speak with Sirius.
But no, lucky for you, you were you.
He hadn’t shown up to work all week, using the flu as an excuse. So when James and Lily invited you over for a small gathering— “Really, James, two parties in one month? What kind of home are you raising my nephew in!”—you hadn’t thought much of it, or him.
“Do let me know if I’ve got this correct– you’ve decided to host a fourth of July party despite not being American, or, now that I think about it further, ever having been to America?” you questioned, genuinely worrying for Lily’s sanity as she rocked a bumbling Harry on her lap, cheeks painted with red, white and blue stars.
“Well, when you put it like that,” James groused, pouting, arms folded against his chest despite being the adult that he was.
“How else would you put it, James?” you argued, exasperated.
Lily perked up at the sound of a potential fight and silenced the two of you with a single look. If anyone was made to be a mother, it had to be Lily. She was compassionate and kind and gentle, as much as she could scare you with a simple glance, she could soothe all your worries as well.
“Look, I just needed an excuse to have a beer, and what better excuse is there than this! The holiday of beers—” I thought that was St. Paddy’s “—Hush! Otherwise, I’d have to wait for someone’s birthday or, what’s the next holiday–? Halloween? That’s ages away.”
You smirked at his odd logic. “Obviously it doesn’t necessarily have to be very Americana or whatever. Red, white and blue– just close your eyes and pretend it’s the beloved Union Jack instead!”
The gathering wasn’t as big as the last one, and you recognised the few familiar faces as Lily and James’ closest friends: Remus, Marlene, Mary, Peter, Sirius—
Sirius? Your head whipped back in a double take, watching as he pulled Remus into a hug ‘hello’ right by the garden gate. He hadn’t noticed you, not yet, but it didn’t take long for his gaze to fixate right on you. You couldn’t read his face, not having ever quite mastered the skill, but this time especially, he looked dazed and withdrawn.
Even his smiled seemed tight, like he didn’t quite mean it, and your heart plummeted at the thought that you’d done that to him.
“I’ll be right back,” you offered, distracted, to James as he preoccupied himself with squeezing Harry’s chubby fist.
Sirius had gone straight inside, probably headed for the kitchen, and you followed suit, wondering what it was about your brother’s house that had the two of you both rushing to and avoiding confrontation.
You found him right where you had expected—peering into the dimly lit fridge and pulling out a bottle of beer.
“Sirius,” you said, announcing your presence as you let the door click shut behind you. Luckily, no one else was inside the house, rather taking in the one day of sunlight and light breeze in an otherwise damp English spring.
You watched as his shoulders tensed instantly, and you just knew he wanted to be anywhere else but there, with you, at that moment, but he turned to face you anyway.
“How can I help, Potter?” he asked, keeping his cards close to his chest still.
“Can we talk?”
“Isn’t that what we’re doing right now,” he pointed out, brow raised as he took a deep gulp of his drink, cringing at the taste.
“That’s not what I mean, and you know it,” you pushed back, inching a step forward.
 “No, I don’t know what you mean,” he replied smoothly, seemingly untouched by the implication behind your words.
“You’re such a prick sometimes, Sirius.”
“And you’ve only just noticed? My, didn’t take you as slow, Potter,” he noted, mockingly, and you flinched at his casual cruelty.
“Don’t do that,” you scolded.
“Do what?” he fought back, “Speak my mind? Seems like you’re the only one allowed to do that around here, and when anyone dares contest, well, all hell breaks loose.”
“You’re not speaking your mind, though,” you argued.
“Ah, and you know my mind so well, do you?” The annoying thing about Sirius, amongst many other things, was that he knew how to get under your skin. Had perfected the craft after years of verbal combat with you. So his words poked and prodded at your soft underbelly with ease as he brandished his hurt around like a swordsman with a too-heavy sword.
“Maybe not entirely, but when it comes to us, I think I know enough.” He stayed silent after that, hesitant, as if waiting for you to make the first move. “The other day, when we kissed—” and you knew you were getting hotter because something, some feeling, flickered behind his irises “—I said it was a mistake—”
“—I know, love. I was there,” he scowled. “No need to remind a man of his failings.”
“Just— let me finish!” You inhaled, slow, before continuing. “I said it was a mistake when, in fact, I felt the opposite. It’s just—it’s you and I, Sirius, and when it comes to us, I might know, inside, what I mean and feel and intend to show but when it comes to the actual ‘doing’ part of it all, I always seem to mess up. So, when I said it was a mistake, what I really meant was—”
And it was his turn to cut you off with his mouth, only this time it was sweet and yearning and apologetic as opposed to the fire and passion and lust that had guided the two of you the last time you’d found yourself in his hold.
His mouth slid over your own, careful and inquisitive, whilst his palms cradled your face, as if you’d slip out of his grasp if he moved even an inch in the wrong direction.
It was lovely, really.
As much as you wished for him to keep going, to keeping kissing you like he might yearn for you too (though you wouldn’t be saying those three words for a while), you were horribly aware of the fact that Lily, or worse, your brother, might walk in at any moment.
So, Sirius didn’t allow himself to get carried away with you, not yet at least, and instead he pulled away with a content sigh, tracing your bottom lip with his thumb as if to memorise it by feel alone.
“Is that our thing then? Kisses in the form of sneak-attacks?” you mused, vibrating and giddy and utterly pleased.
“Could be, if you want?” and it seemed like he was still entranced with your mouth to properly reply in any meaningful manner.
“Sirius,” you pleaded, urging him to look at you, properly. He tore his gaze away from your lips, finally, and the way his face split into a grin had those fucking butterflies returning, tenfold. “Are you okay?”
“I will be once I take you to mine and do that all over again, only, a little less clothed and a lot more horizontal” he promised, the cheek of his you had come to endearing having return after his previous sulking.
“You’re a menace,” you groaned as he buried his smirking face into the crook of your neck, holding you tight to him before his grip relaxed and he pressed a kiss to your forehead, holding you right there.
“I know, and I’m only joking—well, if you want me to be joking, I will be. But I’m fine—I swear it. It just seems surreal, us, like this,” he explained.
“I get that, it is a bit odd, but I’ve realised you need to contextualise those weird, new feelings and not let them control you, at least, not if they’re ‘bad’ or whatever,” you offered clumsily, trying, in your own way, to relay the same advice your Mum had.
He snorted in response, and you smacked his back from where your arms were wrapped around him. “You sound like your Mum.”
“Mm, that is my Mum. Only, she said it better, and more concise, and in that Mum-way that just makes sense.”
“Ah, well that makes a bit more sense.” He pulled back for a moment, not letting you out of the circle of his arms yet. “We should talk about this a little more, shouldn’t we?”
You nodded, sighing as you moved away from him to get a hold of your thoughts once more. “I think, for me at least, I conflated anger with my feelings for you because I wasn’t exactly sure how to handle them, and deep down, I worried you’d reject me, so it seemed easier to argue with you than—”
“--this,” he finished for you, and he must’ve read the agreement on your face because he bobbed his head in response. “It makes sense, really, and it’s about the same for me, only, there was the whole issue of James and, I mean, I’m older—”
“—by a few years,” you maintained, scowling, and he wanted to kiss you for it.
“Yes, love, but a few years means different things depending on how old you are. We’ve never really been in the same phase of life until now, so I don’t think I wanted it—nor would it have been appropriate, really—until a year or two ago. By then, it seemed too late, so I just kept—”
“—bickering.”
“Yeah, bickering. Arguing. Biting back. It was the safer option.” And everything he said made sense, it was all entirely reasonable, but you still mourned the time lost to not being entirely honest with each other.
“But there’s no point worrying over that now, not when we can’t do anything about it,” he reasoned, noting the faraway look in your eyes and centring you back, there, with him.
“We should get back to the party,” you whispered, fearing what would happen when the two of you left the safety on the kitchen, flooded still with gold and a certain stillness that had you aching for this moment to be forever.
“Yeah, love, let’s go back,” he answered, just as quiet, nudging his head toward the door. Just as your hand came up to turn the doorknob, Sirius’ palm came up in front of you, halting your movements. He stood, still, behind you, and close as ever. You could feel every breath he took, and that damn cologne you’d started missing in the bookstore as well. “Don’t worry about us, love, we’ll be fine,” he assured you.
You answered by turning the knob and making your way back towards the garden. Sirius followed from behind, and when you stepped through the backdoor, you realised how little had changed since you’d gone inside, but also just how much had changed, as well.
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as always, please comment and reblog if you enjoyed this <3
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liliansun · 10 months
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summary : college was enough to deal with, barely passing classes and struggling to keep up with what was going on in each was a daily struggle. not having time to catch someone’s eye was fine with you, that was until you met him. there was something about him that was enchanting, so you went out to find him, hoping you kept him up the same way he did you.
college kids : nct dream members, my friends are the inspiration for the female profiles (joy, loki, niwa and esa) andb random supporting cast
started : 07 | 16 | 23 finished : 10 | 10 | 23
warnings : mostly posted by chapter, language, mentions of alcohol, college au, fluff, angst, strangers to lovers, lying, anything else will be added accordingly <3 (if you can’t tell it’s tswift based bc i’m obsessed w the song)
taglist : please send in an ask or comment to be added
🎧 : part of the speak now (polaroid version) playlist
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00 : [ bitches love the gram ] : [ soon 2 be college drop outs ]
01 : don’t act like you don’t like it
02 : double whammy
03 : you’re bitchless bro
04 : …not that ham
05 : determined to do so (1.4k)
06 : short kings need love too
07 : da new da vinci
08 : what the fuck is 922?
09 : mom and mom are fighting
10 : INFILTRATE THE LUNCH
11 : who’s haechan?
12 : i don’t trust men
13 : no offense taken
14 : you need more sleep then
15 : well that hurted
16 : he’s easy to please
17 : lil man complex
18 : i breathe and for what
19 : is he gone yet?
20 : deserve to be heard (2.2k)
21 : she’s safe
22 : where is haechan.
23 : one last time (0.7k)
24 : platonic soulmates
25 : it’s not me this time
26 : only love can hurt like this
27 : tswift era
28 : so i may be lost
29 : sad and sulky
30 : run to me instead
31 : a couple of besties
32 : regular huh
33 : officially official
34 : it’d always be her [ final ]
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kairiscorner · 8 months
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married life. — kento nanami x spouse!reader (part 1)
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summary: he'd give up his old habits and more just to see you smile, be with you for a little longer, and make you the happiest person in the whole damn world; he's your husband for that very reason. pairing: nanami kento x spouse!gn!reader genre: tooth-rotting fluff !! content warnings: mentions of slight alcoholism author's note: i saw that fanart of nanami that i reblogged and my mind just came up with all kinds of shit for him. i loved him for 6 months straight, I WANNA GET BACK THERE, LET ME LOVE HIM FOR 6 MONTHS MORE !!
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kento nanami comes home from his dead-end, nowhere 9 to 5 job, exhausted and in need of rest. about a year ago, all he had to comfort him was a bottle of pricey wine that he indulged in every end of the month or so, not minding it was nearing its expiry date. he only had store-bought bread and whatever melodramatic soap opera was on TV to entertain him.
kento nanami was indeed, lonely; he was well aware of his own loneliness and needed nobody to point that out for him. it always made him feel worse whenever anybody would say how handsome he is or he's not getting any younger and that he has to settle down at some point.
kento nanami was never the jealous type, though whenever he'd hear word about a coworker of his or whoever getting married and being invited to the ceremony, he'd always feel a kind of pang in his heart, knowing he could never have that kind of life.
kento nanami had given up all hope of finding the right person, none of the people he had met recently were anything he felt connected to (or could even start a conversation with).
kento nanami used to clutch his wine bottle at night, hiccuping in a drunken state as the dialogue from the characters on the late night soap opera on TV was fading from his senses and sleep had come to finally take him away.
kento nanami however, gets woken up in the middle of the night to the feeling of warm hands on both sides of his face; hearing a soft, gentle voice call his name as he grumbles and groans.
kento nanami hears a giggle ring throughout his ears as he's being helped up by soft hands. "kento... if you were that tired, you could've asked for my help, love." you chided him gently as he hummed in confusion.
kento nanami sighed as he tried to stand up. "my... spouse isn't gonna like... that you're helping my drunk self off the couch... right now..." he said as he nearly staggered, but you aided him up as you nearly carried him up the stairs. "they don't want to see... me drinking anymore... but i can't help it, i miss them... too much, the alcohol... it brings me closer to them, lets me stay with them a little... little longer in my dreams..." he mumbled.
kento nanami began to tear up lightly as he kept mumbling and muttering about how much he loves his spouse, how much they saved him from a lifetime of loneliness he already accepted was going to be his life. "i can't believe that... that i... i was saved from... growing old all by myself... a miserable, meaningless life... a life without them by them... and i pull this stunt on them after... promising i'd be better... it didn't make me feel any better, it made me feel sadder." he confessed to you as you got him up to your shared bedroom and laid him down on the bed.
kento nanami sobbed as he kept going on and on about his beloved spouse, how he wants to be better and that they've looked forward to the day when he could spend one evening without him being passed out on the couch from the habit he had yet to get rid of him drinking himself to sleep before he got married.
kento nanami felt loving hands stroke his hair and shush him, kissing his temples as he tried to say sorry to his spouse. "please stop kissing and holding me... my spouse'll be sad... i wanna see them so bad..." he whispered as you chuckled. "kento, i am your spouse." you tell him as you felt over his ring finger, the two of you wearing the rings you both slid on each other on the day of your wedding.
kento nanami blinked his tears away in realization, and his face scrunched up even more as he began to sob harder. he wrapped his arms around your waist and cried into your shoulder, apologizing that he should've squared up, he shouldn't have let you down, but you shushed him and told him with a comforting voice that it was okay. "it's hard to get out of a habit, love... i know that. i'm not angry, i'm not disappointed... i'll stay with you forever, kento, you don't need to keep that in your dreams. i'll always be with you." you promised him as you kissed the top of his head, with him thanking you and kissing your cheeks, his tears wetting them as he muttered how in love he is with you, how he'll work on this starting tomorrow, but for now... all he wants to do is hold you in his arms and sleep with you, just lay here on the bed with you in his arms and with his heart beating in harmony with yours.
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dorylinae-supremacy · 3 months
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Thinking about an AU where Techno, Wilbur and Tommy are all the harbingers of the actual entire apocalypse and Phil (just some insane guy) decides that those are in fact his kids and starts gaslighting the absolute shit out of them about it.
Rambles under cut!
I wanna try something where they're just more insidious and passive killers than anything else, theyre mostly just biding their time and watching as wherever they're lingering around gets sicker and just starts withering away.
They're a slow moving threat that just can't be stopped and for some reason (because Kristin thinks its funny) Phil just isnt affected by them.
Phil: Oh Techno's always been like that ever since he was a baby Techno: I have literally never met you a day in my life Tommy: Idk man... you have always been like that Wilbur: Oh my death he's actually getting to us
Its a mix of that combined with that "how did he know I was a gemini" meme
Phil: Wil! I brought you some salmon, I know how much you love it! Wilbur: How the fuck did you know I like salmon Phil: I'm your dad silly, of course I'd know :-)
I just think itd be super fun since Phil in this au is literally just some insane dude. He literally lies about their entire childhood but does it so consistently and so realistically that it throws them off guard.
I also have a few ideas where they start referring to Phil as their dad in the beginning as a sarcastic / mocking thing but accidentally just getting themselves even more adopted as they do it.
Phil: Wilbur put on a coat Wilbur: I don't need one! Techno: Go on, Wil. Listen to dad Wilbur: Ugh fine. Only because dad wants it, though
Stranger: Whos this? Tommy: Oh thats our dad. He kinda just tags along Stranger: Aww thats so sweet! You got his nose and everything Tommy: I- wh- no he's not actually our da- Phil: I know he did! Isn't he the cutest, spitting image isnt he? Tommy: You're not my dad! Stranger: Oh someones embarrassed! Phil: Yeah he's going through a rebellious phase right now
Just a mixture of things like that where it starts as calling him it but then accidentally actually giving him parental authority along with that.
I also wanna explore how Kristin and Phils relationship would be like. Maybe her as death being very bemused by this silly human that just decided she was his wife one day.
She literally visits him in dreams and stuff and he just acts as if they're married and have been for years. He complains about their 'rambunctious kids' and how he has to threaten them with her so that they behave sometimes. She finds it so silly and just cant help but play pretend.
Kristin: Hello, human Phil: My love! Its been so long since I've seen you Kristin: We've never met Phil: Oh don't say that! It hasnt been that long. I've just been far too occupied with our boys to visit too much Kristin: Our boys? I made them Phil: And they came out beautiful! I'm so glad Wil and Tech got your eyes. I was hoping they would.
I think that'd be a core part of this AU as well. Everyone is playing pretend but then it just fuzzies and it all becomes real for them. At first its a joke that Phil is her husband and their father but then they get lost in the fantasy and fun of it all and actually accept him as such.
Phil has no ulterior motives either, he's literally just a strange insane man that heard stories about neotrio and started thinking they were his kids one day. He genuinely believes his delusion and they end up accidentally making it a reality.
He just makes lucky guesses and plausible lies often enough that he's still shiny and new, he's still fun to play with and thats what ends up 'tricking' them all.
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