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hellfiresmaster · 1 year

Note

i would absolutely be in love with something inspired by the song Judas (80s ver) by Gemyni. (not sure if this counts as a request)

I love this request so much (and the song). And I'm sorry it took me forever :( but I hope you like it! i am also clearly unable to write a short request sorry aljsifjdsjfhsg

Exit Stage Left

Eddie Munson X Fem!Reader

Warnings: reader and eddie dont like each other but are actually so in love (help), heavy make out, (vaginal) fingering, squirting, a little degrading and praising from our metalhead, pining sort of

Word Count: 1.4K

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"Please welcome Corroded Coffin!"

The static-filled mic radiated through the small space. The Hideout seemed to be more packed than usual, well, more than the five regular drunks that used to hang around, that is. Tuesday nights were always your favorite. Always hanging around the bar, twirling a cheap plastic straw in your watered-down drink until your favorite band took the stage. Corroded Coffin and a particular lead guitarist that always managed to catch your eye.

Eddie Munson. Despite being a total asshole most of the time towards you as far back as you can remember, you always considered him sort of a friend for some reason. Suppose you could even call it that. To be honest, you didn't know what to call it; apart from the secret meetings in the forest a couple of times for some weed and an occasional smoke every summer, it was like you didn't even exist to one other. But despite the bickering and unintentional flirting, Eddie made his way under your skin. It was a rarity to see past his harsh exterior, always having his walls up around everyone else, but Eddie offered you glimpses every now and then. Each stolen glance and smartass remark had you falling more and more for the metalhead over the years.

"If you wanted an autograph, all you had to do was ask, sweetheart?" A voice jolted you from your thoughts when you noticed Eddie leaning against the bar beside you.

"You wish, Munson." His sly grin pierced through your tough facade as he chuckled under his breath.

"Well." He paused and slid closer to you; the scent of weed and post-concert musk intoxicated every last one of your senses as you tried your best to keep steady and focus on the drink in front of you. "Aren't you gonna tell me how badass I looked up there?"

Eddie's tone was arrogant and obnoxious as usual, it should've annoyed you, but you found yourself turned on by it. Asshole, you thought to yourself. Eddie leaned in closer, barely grazing the side of your body, forcing you to direct your gaze toward him. His hair was slightly matted under his bandana, a clearly worn-out Metallica shirt clinging onto his chest and ripped somewhat in the middle, offering a view of his chest and the ink that adorned it. He knew exactly what he was doing. Damn him. Eddie's hand waving in front of you broke you out of your haze.

"Still got that guitar, huh?" You were desperate to change the conversation to keep Eddie from seeing the effect he was having on you. But Eddie brushed it off.

"I overheard you talking with the bartender. I can give you a ride, you know?" You glimpsed towards the bartender, who gave you a shrug and smirk as he looked at Eddie. "I just gotta get my keys, and we can head out the back." He walked towards a door behind the stage to see you still standing by the bar. "Come on. Stop being a brat; let's go." You reluctantly sighed and nodded as you followed Eddie through the back area of the bar, pretending as if those words didn't just affect you. "So you wanna grab some coffee or something?"

"Now?" His question caught you off guard. "Why would you wanna get coffee with me?"

"I mean, we're friends, so it wouldn't be such a crazy idea.....and who knows, that doesn't sound too bad for a date either." Eddie chuckled to himself while keeping an eye to ensure you were still following him.

"Friends? That's a bit of a stretch." You snickered as Eddie stopped suddenly and turned towards you, clearly irritated with your tone.

"Oh, don't play games with me; you came to my show in this shit hole bar, and you're coming backstage. I don't know about you, but that sounds like you might have a thing for me, sweetheart." The words coming out of his mouth annoyed you more than you cared to admit.

"I can't stand you, Munson." Your tone was stern as you stopped walking behind him in the narrow hallway, but the way Eddie was staring back at you instantly had you softening under his touch. Your cocky stance faltered long enough for him to step closer toward you making your back lean against the wall behind you.

"You're lying to yourself. And you fucking know it." He moved closer, pressing his chest against yours, sliding his hand to grab your ass, and then moving down to your thighs. "I still remember what you felt like, tasted like. Even those sounds you used to make just for me." He whispered softly. You were pressed against the wall, the heat between your bodies filling the air between you, making it difficult to think straight as he consumed every single one of your senses. "I bet if I touch you right now, you'll soak my hand with how wet you are for me." You bit back a whimper, threatening to escape when you felt his hand slither around your waist, teasing at the waistband of your panties under your skirt while his lips ghosted over your neck.

"Beg. For. It." He whispered in your ear through gritted teeth, lingering briefly between every word. The low tone of his voice and the warmth of his breath on your cool skin sent shivers through your body. You didn't say a word, your pride preventing you from begging for the thing you wanted most at that moment.

"Hm. A shame. You're so pretty when you're desperate for me." He continued as his hands withdrew from your body. A slight panic surged through you when you realized he was pulling away—your back arching slightly towards him out of pure instinct, practically burning for his touch again. Before you knew it, you gripped his shirt and drew him back towards you into a bruising kiss.

"Stop teasing and touch me already, Munson. Before I change my mind." The smirk that spread across his face was captivating; he really had no idea how beautiful he was. But there was no time to dwell on that now, not when his hands were already hiking your skirt above your hips and pulling your panties clean off in one move.

Your hands tangled in his flowing curls when you felt his fingers skim over your folds, gathering up the slick. Slowly, he slipped two fingers into your cunt, making you groan at the stretch as his thumb worked your clit. Eddie began pumping in and out of you as you mewled and squirmed against him.

"You look so fucking beautiful like this. All fucked out on my fingers. Needy little slut. I can just imagine how good you'd look taking my cock so well." He groaned at the mere thought of it.

Eddie's ring-adorned fingers wrapped around your neck, pressing harder with every thrust of his fingers. You could feel the imprints of each ring already making their mark on you, which only made your eyes nearly roll into the back of your head.

His fingers moved inside you as he dragged them along your walls until you were mewling, clamping down on him, showing just how close you were.

"Eddie..I feel like...I fuck."

Eddie couldn't believe the sight before him, you of all people letting him touch you like this; it felt like a dream. A dream he never wanted to wake up from. Your clit throbbed, aching for attention as you began to gyrate your hips on him, desperate to feel more. He practically moaned in your ear at the feeling of your cunt pulsating around him, fluttering as he curled his fingers toward that tender spot inside you again and again.

"Are you gonna cum, sweetheart?" You would give anything to wipe that cocky smirk right off his face, but the building pressure inside was too much to bear. All you could do was nod and whimper, desperate for him to give you the relief you so desperately needed.

"Fucking slut wants to cum all over my fingers, huh? Go ahead, baby. Cum. Cum for me." Your vision went blank as you felt yourself finally let go. Eddie wrapped his arm around your waist to hold you up as you leaned against him, moaning and body jerking from the force of your orgasm. Your juices sloppily leaked over him and covered your thighs and his forearm as you came down from your high. When you finally gathered the energy, you glanced up to see Eddie adoringly gazing back at you, chest heaving with the biggest smile on his face.

"So, what now?" You breathed out as you adjusted your skirt, and Eddie readjusted but still kept you nearly pinned against the wall.

"Oh, I'm not letting you go just yet. You still owe me a drink."

mini taglist: @wetwilliam02 @luvmunson86 @mariesackler @canonatypical @roanniom @theoncrayjoy

#eddie munson #eddie munson fic #eddie munson smut #eddie munson fics #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x female reader #no use of y/n #stranger things #stranger things 4 #eddie stranger things

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420technoblazeit · 4 months

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Abt the jealousy of Cas, I don't think Cas is jealous of Crowley for who he is . because I do think he thinks he's better than him, but in a relationship yea I can see jealousy and possessiveness I mean he did sear deans skin and carved into his ribcage. If they did get together literally all of body will be marked.

So either it's one month with Crowley then the other month with him

But also I just can see Cas just waiting. Until he becomes the priority. And until then let's dean do his own thing and Cas does his.

i mean i agree that cas isnt jealous of crowley for who he is and you can have your own headcanons. cas is certainly a character who has a lot of pride especially in the earlier seasons but i think a lot of that is gone by the time the later seasons come around. i'd argue even after season 6 he has significantly less pride, though i guess you could argue season 8 cas still has a bit of it. i just dont think that there's canon basis for him being a very jealous person when we've already seen a situation where dean chose crowley over cas (the demon dean summer) and cas didn't seem to hold any grudge with crowley over it

remember that we do see a conversation between sam and cas in 10x01 about dean running away, and while sam seems to think that there's a demon running around in dean's body cas understands that dean himself made the choice to run away. sam seems to think that crowley might have forced dean to leave but cas dismisses that almost immediately and instead brings up whether or not dean's too far gone as a demon. there's a focus here on dean leaving being dean's choice

also here's a scene from 10x03 from when crowley first meets up with cas again and discusses curing dean. if cas, like sam, didn't understand just how much dean meant to crowley he would've left it at that thinking that crowley was just using dean as a guard dog. but he makes sure to point out here that dean might be too far gone because he knows that for crowley to have stuck with dean for that entire summer he must care about what happens to him

even much later in the season cas again asks crowley for help in curing dean, even after sam has tried to kill him, and i think it's because cas is maybe the only person who actually gets it. who understands what it's like to be an immortal being in love with a human as reckless and self-destructive as dean. and to sacrifice so much for him and not ask for anything in return. he knew that even with nothing in return crowley would help in getting rid of the mark because he knows how much it's hurting dean

and about the carved ribcage and handprint thing if we're being honest the whole possessive branding thing is like. entirely fanon. to my knowledge the show never explicitly mentions that as being a possessive thing, the fandom just thought it'd be cute to make it into that. we know that the warding's main function is to hide sam and dean from angels and that the handprint is a byproduct of cas dragging dean out of hell. it is by no means proof that cas is actually possessive of dean or would be upset about him being with someone else

idk i just think pretending that cas and crowley's relationship could ever boil down to just ohhhhh cas is jealous of crowley's thing with dean significantly flattens their relationship and gets rid of the most interesting thing about it, which is that basically the only thing they can ever agree on is loving dean. that's unironically their common ground in a significant number of issues. theyre an angel and a demon to begin with so theyre already about as different as you can get but when you really look at the core of who they are, theyre both beings who are too emotional and human for their own good and you can always see that best in how they interact with dean

#supernatural #spn #destiel #drowley #deancascrowley #drowstiel #the pig squeals #supernatural spoilers #spn spoilers

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flowerisevil · 1 year

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Laena having a female lover she truly is in love with and daemon is ok with it (or not whatever feels right )

My love | Laena Velaryon x Female Dornish!Reader

a/n: english is not my first language so please expect for possible grammatical errors also perhaps some typographical errors too! another one I give it a bit of a twist if u dont mind

warning: fighting, curse words (tell me if i miss anything)

You never liked him. The man your lover married. The Rogue Prince.

Even though he was okay with your relationship with Laena that's not a reason for you to like him, because besides of how many times he neglected Laena as his wife before you also can't help but to be jealous of him after all Laena is married to him.

Legally and with the bless of the King.

"May I talk to you, wife?" Daemon joined to the both of you while you're combing Laena's hair.

"She wants to walk outside, you can talk to her later" you said cutting whatever Laena was about to say.

"I am not talking to you" Daemon told you while throwing daggers look.

"I don't care so if you don't mind leave our room" you said and slowly pushed him outside the chamber but before you can even go back inside Daemon pulled your forearm.

"I have my patience woman, not because I'm okay with your relationship with my wife it means you can disrespect me, I am still your Prince" you hastily pulled your arms from him.

"She is still my wife bitch"

"And?" you fired back and stepped closer to him he tightly gripped your jaw, Daemon really tried his best to be in great terms with you but you and your pride can't help it, you're jealousy joining isn't helping either.

You held the that he used to grip you, you felt your breathe tightening.

"Learn how to share girl, she's married to me you might have her writhing under you but she's mine too, I am the one who put babe inside her I am the one who made her a woman and you? you're just a passing time to her" his words sink in your head and unfortunately to your heart too.

Your raised your right leg to kick between his thigh he lost his grip on you and pulled away groaning in pain, you hover on top of him and punched his face.

You're just a passing time to her..

a passing time to her..

Those words kept repeating on your mind as you kept on punching the man under you, you heard screams of panics as two men held your arms pulling you away from the bruised face Prince.

The two guards put you on your knees purposely before they can even lay a hand on you, Laena shouted.

"Let her go!" she ordered, instead of going to her husband and check on him, Laena hold your hand and pulled you away from the panicking crowd.

You're dumbfounded processing what you have done, your knuckles are red and has some spit of blood from her husband, you didn't talk and Laena was already worried for you, she knew that you didn't liked Daemon

"You know that you're the one I love right?" Laena carresed your right cheek while both of you are sitting on the bench outside, she immediately gave her an assurance, Laena knew her so much and she know what to do how to ease her pain so she would calm down but it's not one of those times right now, the words are still in your head.

"Do you really? You had a child with him Laena and you're pregnant now" you said bitterly, you tried to understand her really, you tried but you can't live like this hiding and pretending in front of the people that you don't care for her, that you don't care whenever her stomach ache because of her pregnancy, that you don't care whenever Daemon would wrap his arms around her waist, oh how you wish it's all easy like that.

"I'm with you my love, my heart is all yours isn't that still enough?" she said calmly but you can hear the tone of annoyance.

"Yes! Maybe it isn't enough! Maybe I want you to shout to the whole realm that it's me who you love! That it's me you keep the smile on your lips! That it's me who you want to live a happy life with! But you can't right because I'm no man and especially I can't give you a child of our own" you snapped tears pooling on your eyes.

"All my years with you here has been nothing but hiding! from the children, the people, from everyone! I leave my home for you Laena because you said in here we could be free, we could be anyone we want you promised me that we can live a life that we want but all your promises are all nothing but lies!" you cried out.

Laena with watering eyes looking at you, she can't blame you for saying the truth, all of you years here in Pentos is nothing but pure hiding even if she promised you that you both will live your dream life here, she had pushed your limits.

"Are you tired now? Of all of this?" she asked it was a risky question because Laena knew you, you will never settle for a life like this were your lover would be afraid to show you to the world.

"Yes, I'm leaving tommorow I'm going back to Dorne and fullfil the duties I abandoned for you" you spat with pure venom and walked out.

Laena broke down there while watching you walk away, her husband Daemon saw her and rubbed her back to comfort her as he muttered apologies to her he thought maybe if he didn't fought with you this wouldn't happen but Laena knew that you will soon burst out it's just Daemon who opened your leaking rage.

"I'm going to talk to her" Daemon said, she tried to stop her telling him that you wouldn't change your mind but still he insisted.

Daemon caught you packing your clothes and things, you looked at him shortly before going back to what you're doing not having any interest on engaging a conversation with him.

"You're leaving because we fought? Is that how low are you?" he started.

"I wish it's all that" you replied and closed your trunk, you're about to walked past but he blocked your way.

"You're not leaving like this actually... you're not leaving at all" he saw your jaw clenched, Daemon let out a small gasped when you gripped the collar of his clothes.

"If you don't want to borrow a face from your dear dragon get the fuck out of my way" you threatened him and pushed him back to his place "Isn't this what you want? to have Laena all for yourself you asshole" you added and pushed him aside.

With that night you travelled to Dorne and your family welcomed you with open arms as their oldest sister come back home.

"Welcome sister we thought we will never see you again" Damian said he's one year younger than you.

"Don't be dramatic" you joked and chuckled.

That night you drink with your brother and cousins, it's been a year since you did this, you all drink, you're brother even tried to set you with some people but you refuse because even though you're drinking yourself to sleep in Dorne your mind and heart remains to your love in Pentos.

Laena, my love

#laena velaryon #house of the dragon #hotd fanfic #fanfic #laena velaryon imagine #daemon x laena #laena valeryon #laena velaryon x reader #laena velaryon x you #daemon targaryen x reader

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thelilsem · 1 year

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Neteyam x Reader

Summary:

Y/n was dragged to the world of pandora, to help track and capture Jake Sully. But she refuses and on an unexpected event she is able to join the Sully family. After earning their trust by helping them she soon grows closer to them, especially to a certain someone who starts seeing her in a different light.

Notes:

This is my first avatar fanfiction so i hope you enjoy it. This might start out slow and then pick up from their. Also this fanfiction is for enjoyment purposes so the story line will differ a bit. *Also i do not own avatar or its characters*

Chapter 1

(Sorry this chapter will be based more on y/n and how she joined the sully family. *Also you may change your fathers name, i just picked one cuz (f/n) looked weird to me*)

"Hurry up kid" Quartrich hissed in a menacing voice as he pushed me, making me almost fall. "Well if you wanted me to walk faster you could take these off" I hissed back as i lifted my hands that were covered by some handcuffs, blocking my fingers so i wouldnt be able to grab anything or anyone. "Shut up and keep walking" He snapped, not bothering to look at me, as he passed me i mimicked him. It wasn't long before we came to a stop where an abandoned trailer was being covered by vines and nature, there was also a robot on the ground with what appeared to be an arrow sticking out of it. Quaritch seemed to know where we were as he told us to stop and he looked around, I found a nice place to rest and sat down.

We had been here for about a minute and i started to sense eyes, they weren't menacing but scared. 'I hope thats not a Sully' I thought to myself, after being brought here of my own accord they told me that i was to help capture Jake Sully and his family. Since my tracking and spying skills were compared to an expert adult, they tried to brainwash me to help them. 'To bad for them, my father told me to never betray Jake Sully or anyone else. Or he would haunt me with his spirit until my death' A shiver ran own my spine as I remember how scary he would be at times, as i came back to my surroundings i noticed that only some of the soldiers were with me and the rest were gone.

Then i heard some shouts from the forest, it didnt take long for quaritch to come out with 3 blue kids and one human boy. They all tried to break free but failed, they shoved the two boys next to me and kept a hold of the two other girls for bait. The kids looked confused as i tried to greet them, but failed since it just looked like i lifted my hands. "Hey brat, no talking with the rest. And dont you dare to plan an escape, or ill shoot you" Quartrich said as he hit my head with the back of his gun "I'll rather commit seppuku then let the likes of you kill me" I snapped back, earning another hit but this time on the side of my cheek, which resulted in a cut on my lip and some bruising "Shut up" He said as he walked away "Ass" I muttered as i turned to look at the kids, who now looked a bit scared. But i noticed that their hands weren't completely covered like mine so i got an idea.

"Hey, can you reach this" I whispered as i slowly got close to the human boy, he seemed on guard but still looked at what i was pointing. "Yes, why?" He asked not trusting my intentions, made sense since i was with the enemy "Its a knife, use it to cut off those things." I whispered again, as i looked around i motioned for him to hurry in case a soldier came. The kid looked at the blue kid before taking the knife and quickly cutting the cuffs. "Alright now pretend to still have them around, ill make a distraction so you guys can run" I said before standing up and walking towards the guy that had the little girl "Hey man I think your being to rough there, why dont you relax?"

I said with a chuckle making the guy mad as he pointed his gun at me now and lowered the girl a bit "Shut up Y/n-" Before he could finish his sentence an arrow went through his face, from then arrows and bullets started to fly "Shit" I muttered as i tried to invade the stray bullets, as i hid behind the old robot i saw a soldier run after the little girl "You gotta be kidding me" I huffed as i quickly stood up and ran towards him, before the man could grab her i slammed my cuffed hands on his head. Making him pass out, the little girl turned to look at me scared "You okay kid?" I asked as she nodded, i heard more poeple coming this way so i muttered sorry before grabbing her as i started to run "Do you know which way you need to go?" I asked as i ran and tried to not fall, she pointed in a direction and soon i stopped as i saw the kids and their parents. As they saw me with the girl they pointed their weapons at me,

"Woah, chill out mr.Sully" I said as i put the girl down and she ran to her parents "Stop, she helped me" She begged her parents as she hugged her mother "She's with the enemy" Her mother hissed as she was now ready to let go of the arrow "Hey do you really think they would handcuff me if i was with them?" I asked as i lifted my hands still very much cuffed "Maybe its a trap" The woman said, she seemed to not want to do anything with me

"Mom it's true, those guys even treated her worse than they did with us" The blue boy who had been captured spoke up as he walked up to her "Then if your not cooperating why were you with them?" Jake finally asked as he took a step forward "They dragged me to this planet and tried to brainwash me to help.....you know you do look like the description my father told me. Just blue, and taller." I said as i sat down, I hadn't noticed before from all the adrenaline but i had gotten hit on my thigh. It wasnt deep nor on any nerves, but it began to hurt.

I guess mentioning my father saved my life "Who is your father?" Jake asked intrigued as he examined me "Leo (l/n)" I said as i tried to break the cuffs by slamming them on the ground "You are Leo's kid?" Jake asked as he lowered his gun, shocked at the news "I know, its hard to believe a man like him would have kids." I chuckled as gave up on getting the cuffs off

"By the way can you remove these? And also the tracker that's on my shoulder" I said as i rose up, the woman didnt seem convinced still as she stopped jake. But jake whispered to her and continued to come towards me "I mean if you want i can keep the cuffs, just remove this damn tracker" I said as i moved the shoulder that had the chip, jake took out his knife and moved my shirt colar to see where the chip was. Luckily there seemed to be a scar where they had placed it so jake took it off quickly and smashed it.

"Neytiri take the kids and go back home, I'll take this one to the lad to get a checkup" Jake said as neytiri sighed reluctantly before nodding and walking away with their kids "Im sure you've noticed but they are after you mr.Sully, they are also targeting your wife but mostly you" I said as i followed jake "Yea i could tell, do you know anything else?" He asked "Other than wanting to capture you and basically take over pandora....No, they had me locked in a room since i wouldn't cooperate" We continued to talk as we got to the place he was taking me, as we got their we were greeted by some humans who i assumed were the scientist who had stayed behind. They examined me before taking off my cuffs "Man it feels great to finally move my fingers" I said with a chuckle as i stretched and popped them

"Y/n i brought a change of clothes, jake said that you will be joining him so i brought na'vi tradicional clothes" Norm said as he layed down some of the cloths smiliar to what jake and his family were wearing, he smiled before leaving the room to give me some privacy "Guess its better than what im currently wearing" I muttered as i took off my clothes and started changing, it didnt look bad with the avatar body but boy did it feel uncomfortable.

The thing that bothered me the most was the scars on the side on my ribs. I had gotten it while trying to escape from a car, but failed as I got stuck and got dragged on the ground for a while. The wound was pretty big but luckily the scar was smaller. I also had some from a few cuts here and there. Once I was done seeing myself in the mirror I exited the room. "So did any of my knifes carry chips?" I asked norm as I walked up to the table where the pile of knifes were "Nope, I scanned them and nothing showed up so they are good to go"

Norm said not turning away from the screen, I grabbed my knifes and started to strap them. Two went on my waist and the other two were hidden knifes that went around my wrists (assassins creed reference). Once norm was done examining whatever was on the screen he turned to look at me "Woah, that's a big scar" Norm gasped "Haha yea, I got it while trying to escape. Didn't turn out the way I wanted it to" I chuckled

Afterwards norm showed me and gave me a simple paragraph of my health. Overall he said I was healthy and didn't have any problems. "Are you sure you'll be fine going back alone? It's gotten dark and Pandora is dangerous at night" Norm said worriedly as I exited the building, he followed me as he put on a mask. "I'll be fine, I want adventure. Being in a cell for a while really made my body tense, I'll be sure to keep my surroundings in check" I said with a smile as norm sighed before handing me a map "But if you die I won't take responsibility"

He said as I started to walk away and waved goodbye. Norm didn't go back inside until he saw I had completely vanished into the jungle.

#neteyam #avatar #neteyam x reader #neteyam headcanons #the way of water #avatar 2 #x reader #imagine #x you #female reader

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nutzo0001 · 8 months

Text

rant

- ) or that feeling, "living in the future" when y2k came, it was for people, like dream, fascination - hope: - year 2000 is at the door, world looks bright, internet is "ough" to "solve" all our problems, maybe even "to topple the game (of rich bastards) down"... -- feeling like this - if you got me (this sentiment, dream of utopia, unity, mutual understanding "coz of net" - oh man, if they knew...) - which reminds me of thread [sic] "MLP and New Sincerity" - about being sincere, "you", - all that *sweet* (or not) jazz...

addendum:

#0 punks and emos of 2000s-2010s: basically "When we were young" fest, - safe for fact it was then "current thing": pic-rel + all those rock, punk, emo, - things playing on radio --- a psyop??? + 80s (music, not aesthetics) nostalgia occuring around that time... : music-rel (yeah, pretty much this playlist is "getting rich" from nostalgia - go, figure :/)

#1 youtube campaign "broadcoast yourself" - dawg man, i am so confussed how we could "get bought" over this - and believe come corporation! it sounds so - ironic; looking at it from lens of someone, living in *these* times "after fad"... - really believing(?) that commonmen can, thru sheer "influence" thru net, shape world... (what a joke!!!) [were we sold on *this feeling"!???]

#1b general naiivity over "corporations allowing us all this" - how was that not suspicious!! i wonder... (letting our guard and awareness so low) ~ but then, werent we (born 1999-and so; living with siblings (sister), of 8 year difference...)

#1.5 campaign of web providers (geocities, goDaddy or such), *basically* saying "be you"/"promote yourself"

(if you get me, that is; i am - getting nostalgic, over something i very fogly remember - in fact, now i get - why those "boomers" over here are getting nostalgic over living in socialism (when, they were kids... - so was i...)

--- WAS this all^ psy-op - contrarian messages, just "selling feeling", scham, make-believe dreams?

or is it that *there somewhere*, it was "all taken away from us" - well, as i see, that is very little probability, and it was just tactic to "get everyone on net" - those fxxx bastards!! (#me, being naiive...)

On Apathy: Man. I don't want to shit on the current generation too much because it's been done to death, but you're gonna be hard-pressed to find a late zoomer/Gen-A who can use a hammer or any other tool properly. It's like there's no awareness of the world around them. We're talking missing 9/10 of the time with a hammer. Honestly, I think they're just tired of it all and don't care to learn anymore. I can't blame them. It feels like the whole world is falling apart, but never enough to bring an end to the stress that comes from it. Perhaps it's a demoralization sort of thing. A "_______ is going to happen so it won't matter anyway." sort of situation. Everyone is just tired and doesn't have the energy to care.

- aHR0cHM6Ly9mb3J1bS5hZ29yYXJvYWQuY29tL2luZGV4LnBocD90aHJlYWRzL2RvZXMtdGhlLXpvb21lci1nZW5lcmF0aW9uLWhhdmUtemVyby10ZWNoLXNraWxscy41OTgwL3Bvc3QtODQxNjc= (pssst)

end: - i was played on. -- world of broken promises pre-2001~2008... --- "you need to be unique to stand out", so, next step in my mind was > "no way to be normie" >> i never knew what *they* (who?) meant - does computers screw us all in some way? or was is that we made ourselves... we build them... then, we dont know ourselves > you dont know things until it is too late? or > was it "The Plan"? use people as puppets > "NPC Naysayers"? - to make all sorts of crazy laws? power-trip? I dont want to - but, do i HAVE TO be bad, in any sense? -- Last time i had any confidence was in 2010-2015... but it was nothing much, it was just fuzzy feeling. there were bad things, yet, i felt fine... so, do i hate myself now? because - why? am i afraid to lose that? then, what happened!? is it some kind of trauma - or simply, disability to adapt? maybe thats why --- i miss 2008-2013 - times when i could be naiive. myself. no pretend, even if i wanted to... is it only now that i am afraid? or am i going insane and want to blame others for "making problems to sell cure"? - maybe i never was teenager, so with strict and boomers-like parents, it is like i have to make my dreams now - if i only wanted to - if i wasnt so emberassed... -- "teen-ages in stasis"? > peter pan syndrome? --- i dont want to live in my head - but what to do - - what i even want?? - am i afraid of success, of being "too strong", "bad" to others? there are like milion things...

AM I NORMAL?: could be, maybe i am just afraid to be

The commercial exploitation of the web has become a growing facet of the world economy, particularly in the last several years. In June 1999 NUA Internet Surveys estimated that 179 million people are connected to the Internet worldwide. A recent study by the University of Texas sponsored by Cisco Systems estimated that the "Internet Economy" generated $300 billion in revenue in the United States alone.

Conrad Johnson and Brian Donnelly, “A BRIEF HISTORY OF THE WORLD WIDE WEB AND THE INTERNET “, Part 6, Columbia.edu, (Oct 24, 2003).

#lost future #bubble foam promises #tech-zine future #edgy 2000s teen #nostalgia #future that never was #lost futures #y2k #mood #aesthetics #vaporwave #vaporware #classics #end: - i was played on. -- world of broken promises pre-2001~2008... --- “you need to be unique to stand out”#so #next step in my mind was > “no way to be normie” >> i never knew what *they* (who?) meant - does computers screw us all in some way? or was #we dont know ourselves > you dont know things until it is too late? or > was it “The Plan”? use people as puppets > “NPC Naysayers”? - to m #do i HAVE TO be bad #in any sense? -- Last time i had any confidence was in 2010-2015... but it was nothing much #it was just fuzzy feeling. there were bad things #yet #i felt fine... so #do i hate myself now? because - why? am i afraid to lose that? then #what happened!? is it some kind of trauma - or simply #disability to adapt? maybe thats why --- i miss 2008-2013 - times when i could be naiive. myself. no pretend #even if i wanted to... is it only now that i am afraid? or am i going insane and want to blame others for “making problems to sell cure”? -#so with strict and boomers-like parents #it is like i have to make my dreams now - if i only wanted to - if i wasnt so emberassed... -- “teen-ages in stasis”? > peter pan syndrome?#of being “too strong”#“bad” to others? there are like milion things...

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dracudyke · 1 year

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1, 11, and 16 for newt + 15, 22, 23, and 27 for vince + 30, 31, and 34 for jamie (sorry if this is too many i just see u tag stuff as them a lot and im v curious abt them! u dont have to do them all if ur not up for it)

TY HEHE there's no need to apologize i absolutely LOVE talking about my ocs ^_^

Newt:

1: What’s the maximum amount of time your character can sit still with nothing to do? A long, long time. Newt spent most of her life alone in a swamp so she's used to a lot of downtime.

11: How do they cope with confusion (seek clarification, pretend they understand, etc)? She mostly just stays quiet and hopes/assumes another party member understands. Either that or she'll ask for clarification (usually this is for when i, as her player, is also confused KJFDSS)

16: What makes their stomach turn? Losing or letting her friends down. The thought that something is happening that she doesn't understand [this is currently happening in the campaign shes in lol]. Worrying that her god will abandon her and she won't have the magic she needs to protect her friends anymore.

Vince:

15: How do they speak? Is what they say usually thought of on the spot, or do they rehearse it in their mind first? She usually says what's on her mind unless she feels like its Personal or Compromising. She makes an effort to put off a confident, snarky, mysterious vibe but is pretty guarded when it comes to her own feelings.

22: How does jealousy manifest itself in them (they become possessive, they become aloof, etc)? Badly. Especially early on in the story, he can act pretty impulsively when he feels jealous or threatened and can end up hurting someone either by lashing out verbally or physically injuring or even killing someone. He gets a LOT better at this later though. He's still got issues but he's working on it :)

23: How does envy manifest itself in them (they take what they want, they become resentful, etc)? Similar to prev. It starts out as a villain in the story before it gets redeemed. It takes what it wants without any consideration for the people it hurts in the beginning and it does deal with a lot of resentment in its plot arc. but it gets better at dealing with that and its own emotions. eventually.

27: What causes them to feel dread? Her sire (she's a vamp, her sire is Awful and the main reason she is Like That in the beginning) and the thought of having to feel the guilt over the bad things shes done. It takes her a While to be able to let those emotions back in bc she dreads having to feel the remorse. She also has a lot of dread around losing people she cares about.

Jamie:

30: Who do they most regret meeting? GOD THIS IS A HARD ONE. He has a professor that kinda kicks the whole story off by introducing him to the supernatural world. Even though they are a big mentor figure to Jamie, i think he really regrets meeting them sometimes because it completely changed the trajectory of his life. He is now in infinitely more danger and has horrible, painful visions that drive the story. It's not what he expected his life to be like.

31: Who are they the most glad to have met? Yknow what it may be the same person. He has very complicated feelings about the prof. Otherwise probably Marcos :-) They're a really good friend to him and have stuck with him through it all. Also much later the answer might be Vince! She's kinda the worst to start with but post-redemption they eventually get together and vince eventually kinda becomes a weird wife guy :-) they love each other <3

34: How hard is it for them to shake a sense of guilt? Very, very difficult. He blames himeself for a lot of things, even things that are definitely not his fault. Somebody needs to get this guy a therapist.

If you wanna learn more about my Bite Club ocs and their story u can find my masterpost about them here!! I'd love to answer any more questions u have about them or just talk about them in general :3

You can also find out more about Newt here!

#shouts #THANK U #long post #newt #bite club #vince #jamie #PS: there's also lots of art of them all in both links!!!

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jinkicake · 1 year

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BIG MOOD PATHETIC SCARAMOUCHE IS SO FUNNY HES RLY THE LITTLE MEOW MEOW😭 need him to be absolutely obsessed w me but he’s too embarrassed that he wants to hold my hand so he pretends to hate me and im like “ that’s mice sweetheart what di you want for dinner?” Saw someone make a dc where you ignore him for like 5 days and he’s on his knees begging like “PLEASE LOOK AT ME” like thats so real to me😭😭 bc once you’ve given him affection he’s gunna do everything to keep it within his grasp😔 ALSO HE DEF WOULD TIE YOU UP AND LEAVE THE DOOR OPEN💀 childe and singora are so casual about it😭 when he comes back they talk like you’re not even there “how long have they been here?” “I lost count after the fourth hour” “ they’re still conscious I’m impressed” like he’s such an asshole but he will do the 🥺🥺👉🏼👈🏼”can I have a hug” afterwards💀 love that for him. Keeps him in my pocket like a little purse dog, he’s my guard dog boyfriend bc he will kill first and ask questions later. “ I don’t like how he looked at you” “he’s the waiter” AND YOOOO DONT EVEN LET DOTTORE UGLY ASS COME CLOSE TO YOU ITS OVER FR-don’t like his new design he’s just a creep like I was the “clones” back the short haired funny scientist dude like I like them unhinged in a clown way!! He’s fuckable, the abusive leather daddy dom on the other hand😒 like he’s fun if he has a tired annoyed uncle personally like he lives to bully childe. But just going around threatening scaramouche and collei bc I forgot he did experiments on her too in the manga is musty like that mask is lame!! WHERE IS THE CLOWN KING😡- he would reflexively go for his throat like he opens his mouth and suddenly his throat is slit “ my bad I got anxious” SGDHSHS UNDERSTANDABLE😭😭😭 and the streets is saying he’s gunna have a claymore??? BE SERIOUS HES A SCIENTISTS TWINK WHOS HUNCHED IVER IN A LAB ALL DAY HE CANT CARY THAT SHIT?? Like he only experiments on KIDS bc he could never kidnap a whole adult like imagine he tries to get itto?? HIS ASS WOULD BE DEAD IN 10 SECONDS!! HE CANNOT FIGHT DELUSION OR NOT!! I would beat his ASS like if you don’t get your ass out my face looking like an X-ray 😒 like be bothering all them people bc he wants so ass he weights 70 pounds soaking wet so he needs to borrow childes body weight

no exACTLY. listen, i love mean!scaramouche as much as the next person but if he's not obsessed then i dont want him. pathetic!scaramouche is the best scaramouche

i saw this scaralumi fanart of him drunk at a bar and diluc calls lumine to calm scara down and when she answers hes like 'hey ugly' and she hangs up and he starts crying again and ugh it's too perfect like that artist captured his best side with that simple fanart heheh

HAHAH yeah scaramouche is the worst bc he would do something so mean to you like ignore you while working but the second he finds out youre mad at him he'll be begging for your attention like he didn't just starve you for two days.... hes a great yandere me thinks-

Scaramouche = purse dog is the best comparison ive ever read T T

okay hear me out... i can forgive all the heinous crimes dottore has committed but i draw the line at him being UGLY. Maybe if he were cuter I would also be obsessed w him but he's so..... eh- LOL i like the clones better than him! (rip to the clones :-(() but also.... him being ugly is kinda the appeal? am i right??? i can never make up my mind-

dottore is supposed to have a CLAYMORE?! WHAT THE HLLL,,,im very confused about his leaks bc i heard that the shit company can't let characters be playable if theyre evil and tbh i dont want him to be redeemed bc he literally cant be redeemed and hes fun as a psycho like??? idk idk idk im just focused on sexy yelan in 3.4 she will be mine!

also isn't dottore one of the top three strongest in the fatui??? right i think....? i seriously dont know how but tbh i dont care! i just focus on mr hottie soooooooooooo sexy capitano teehee

#sarahandoikawatalkshit

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minkkumaz · 7 months

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as long as ur able to get rest omi!! it’d be the worst to force yourself into writing when its supposed to be a fun hobby. again, u can always resort to smaus and little brainrots when you feel like writing a bit. either way, its really good to do things at ur own pace so u dont get overwhelmed ^^

gosh the fnaf movie.. im terrified of horror movies, but at the same time id love to watch one. has me thinking of so many imagines rn.. I HAVE SO MUCH IDEAS FOR THE MAKNAE LINES VER OF THEM GETTING UR ATTENTION.. but ima get sidetracked and talk abt bonedo halloween!!!!

ID LOVEEE to go trick or treating w them. We could all have matching costumes.. Have you seen the ABCDLOVE mv? The scene with all of them dressed as ghosts (minus riwoo).. Like imagine broke, highschooler bonedo boys just tryna find an easy costume and they resort to ripping their white sheets.

OR OR ORBOR ORROROROROR OMG. idk if youve seen this, but lesserafim dressed up as body guards for eunchae and pretended to escort her somewhere. IMAGINE THAT WITH BONEODIVISOENFIERROROROORROEOEOE.

IM SOBTJIFN. omg bc bc bc BCCCCC. just being in their friendgroup, trick or treating and them "protecting" you. OH MY GOD STOP IT RN BC WAIR.

You've been walking around the neighborhood for atleast over 2 hours, the boys couldnt get enough of the sweet treats getting piled into their baskets. Unfortunately, the heels you wore started to make your feet ache. It was uncomfortable, but you pushed through the pain. It'd be a whole year until Halloween again, and you wouldn't want to ruin the fun by going home early.

Despite that, you couldnt stop the hisses and groans of pain that escaped your lips.

"Are you okay?" Taesan stood close by you, a bit behind the other 5 who were busy trying to figure out if they've been down this street already. His eyes scanned your face, noticing your discomfort.

"I'm okay..!" Though, Taesan noticed how the pitch of your voice increased. He stared at you, waiting for you to tell him the truth. You hesitantly admitted the pain your heels were giving you.

"Take them off."

You gave him a confused look, "Huh?"

"..Just do it." Taesan took off his blazer as you undid your heels, your feet touching the cold concrete. Soon, Taesan quickly wrapped the blazer on you, squatting down for you to get on his back as he picked up your heels.

“You should’ve said that in the first place..” He sighed.

SCREMSIFN. HAN DONGMINN THE MAN TO EVER TKJFJ!!?!1!1!1! no because he so WOULD. he’d wrap his blazer around you to make sure your dress wont rise up too much when your on his back, and he’d carry you as he walked around with the boys trick or treating. His arms are wrapped tightly around your legs, yet he held your heels delicately. TRULY a man who’d watch out for you. I WAS TORNNN between leehan and taesan doing this, but for the sake of it leehan could definitely be the type to also do this. (but instead of letting you ride his back, he’d wear the heels as you wore his shoes.)

-🍉

THE FNAF MOVIE WASN'T VERY SCARY ACTUALLY! in my opinion it's a good horror movie to watch if you dont necessarily like horror movies :3

and omg im a fake fan i havent even seen the abcdlove mv yet! but trick or treating with the boys would be so funny.

them protecting me.. gives me shivers bc why is that the cutest fricken thing. but ngl i imagine them to wear inflatable costumes like that is so woonhak and jaehyun. one is an alien and one is an among us character LMAOOO

AND UR IMAGINE?

melon anon can u make ur own personal tumblr account called melon anon and make imagines because i was actually giggling so bad i had to take a mental reset IT'S JUST SO CUTE AGHHH taking my heels? will be purposefully wearing heels next year just for him!

and him being so considerate and trying to cover up reader too :( whenever i wear skirts and stuff i always worry about what i'm doing because i dont want it to ride up >< leehan strutting in heels?! not a want, a need

#∞ ₒ ˚ omi's chats #༊*·˚ anonymous peoples #🍉 anon ·˚ ༘ ✎

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zevranunderstander · 1 year

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the thing about terfs is. i get how a person can get radicalized like that and its not that i have sympathy for them but i have people in my family who were radicalized into being right-wing and there is the thing that you can never really convince them that they are wrong because the places they get their information from (other radicalized people) will only ever show them the bad stuff to a point where they dont really connect their hatred with reality anymore?

like. right wing people love to instill fear of immigrants and foreign people by recording and sharing moments in which some of these people got violent and acted up to scare the "normal" citizens into being paranoid that their country is being invaded by people who are violent and "ungrateful" and when observing a group of that size there will always be someone to complain about. there will be mentally ill people, traumatized people, people who just happen to be violent assholes, people whose actions are taken entirely out of context, etc. and this is spun into a story that ALL foreigners are like that. ALL immigrants are like that. and instead of these being the exception to the rule, the one or two immigrants that these people might personally know (and who are coincidentally really nice people) suddenly are the exception to that rule. but these people usually live in a way where they just. don't have any real contact with this group they hate outside of their echo chamber so they think everything else told about them, especially by less radicalizing media is a lie and propaganda to make you think they are actually "good and normal people" and that's fucked up, but ultimately also shows how many of these people lack a basic level of empathy for other human beings

and terfs are also like that. if you go on their blogs and read their posts youll realize very soon that the problem isn't only that they hate trans people. i think their hate for trans people is a symptom stemming from the fact that they truly truly truly hate men, to a point of ALWAYS dehumanizing them when they speak about them, calling them weird terms to further dehumanize them ('moids' and 'males' mostly). i recently reblogged a post by an ex-terf where she said something like 'terfs truly do not think men are human beings, you can only hate a group so long before you can't see them as human anymore' and if you check these people's blogs, they have the same echo chambers as the alt-right: videos of sexist men, videos of men acting violent, videos of men being horrible people, and for terfs this is the true 'male nature' - ALL men are secretly like this. ALL men hate women and want to kill and rape them.

that's why they hate trans women. because to them this isn't a gender binary, it's a group of innocent, oppressed victims and a group of violent non-human monsters. and the thought that one of these monsters would want to hide among them (im so sorry for the gross comparison) as a wolf in sheeps clothing, only pretending to be on their side to hurt them when they are letting down their guard around other women.

and that is why they don't have the same disdain for trans men, per se. they have created this echo chamber that makes them believe men are all violent and sexist and opportunistic. and like with the example of immigrants earlier it's hard to convince them otherwise. even more than in the example because toxic masculinity and the patriarchy has created tons and tons of men who are either violent, or horribly sexist. there have been centuries of female opression side and if you know where to look, it's pretty easy to find a video of andrew tate or some tradcath male youtuber for them to share in their echo chamber.

yes, toxic masculinity, sexism, etc. those are all actual issues that we have in our society, but convincing ourselves that every man is like that is so delusional and unhelpful and shows such a lack of human empathy? it's hard to argue with them because to them, men don't need any empathy ever because they hold more power in society. terfs even inflate how much more power men hold because they don't really wanna fight for equal rights, they want to be the victims. they looove saying that women are weaker, women are biologically less capable of x and biologically less intelligent than men or whatever shit, just so they can victimize themselves even further. they love arguing over posts that say something sexist and i swear i dont know how often i saw that on a terf's blog, they LOVE to pick fights with the trads on this site. they don't WANT to block the negativity, they want to wail over how oppressed they are and how cruel and hateful all men are.

and i think on this site we all have this view of terfs being exclusively against trans women, but the thing that is at the core of their beliefs is their hate for men. i think for some terfs it might be the reverse of 'they were already transphobic and then fell into a rethoric that backed their beliefs by introducing them to gender essentialism'. for other women it could also be having a particularly bad expierience with a man - living with an abusive father, being sexually assaulted and I sympathize with women who hold a grudge against the patriarchy for allowing men to take advantage of them like that, but projecting this image onto every man you ever meet is so insane and delusional. it's normal to have trust issues after having a bad expierience with ANY group of people, but it's not normal to ignore working on that and trying to get better and instead blame men for all moral failings of society and your personal life.

terfs love to hold up a woman's "innate empathy and intuition", but they do not, in fact, have actual empathy and have conditioned themselves to think all men are violent zombies who only crave power, success and to hurt and kill women.

#myposts #tw: transphobia #tw: racism #terfs set feminism back by 20 years its amazing

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tsikadatsvirka · 5 years

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bro no offense but im tired of getting the same fucking advice over and over

#like ohhhh ile youre so abrasive ohh ile you judge people too quickly ohhhh #call it being a virgo or scorpio or capri sun or whatever the fuck but like there r very few people that like #agree with me on hard tangible things such as politics and transphobia #and also agree with me on personal moral things like stealing and drugs and not being fucking annoying and manipulative #like im told that im too judgemental but like i live in swamp yankee country #the people that don't want me underground are annoying high school ace queers #i have 1 friend and a dog and you know what that's all i need #i dont need a gigantic fucking friend group who all hate each other but pretend to like each other to have a big group #i dont need to move past acquaintences with the republican girl who sits next to me #i dont need to become besties with the gay kid who brags abt driving dui and not getting caught #sowwy for not being desperate #im sorry im good at reading people and you let yourself get fucked after red flag after red flag after red flag #like man im in a state of war you know?if i let my guard down around the wrong person that can be very very very bad #with my situation at least #i cant exactly afford to have a bad friend #and im tired of people assuming their experience is universal #uwu live ans learn #but i might not live u see

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badassbuchanan · 3 years

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Just My Type

Warnings: smut; dry humping, implied sex, age!gap (although not really mentioned).

Word Count: 1370

A/N: I tried to make this longer but our favourite Sheriff can only take so much x

“Sheriff?” I asked softly as I leaned against the doorframe of his office, noticing his light still on in the late hour. I watched him spin to face me in his office chair, his elbows spread across the armrests as his fingers intertwined on his chubby stomach. “You’re still here.”

“Always work to be done, doll.” He shrugged his shoulders softly as his eyes lingered over my body, staring me down like I was his prey.

My lips twitched into a smile, his glance revealing his thoughts as he slouched a little further into his chair. I slowly pushed myself off of the doorframe, strolling towards him, my heels clacking against the floorboards the only sound in the room.

“The real question is why are you still here?” He asked with a tone of resentment after hearing my conversation with the other administration assistant in the break room earlier in the day. I bit my lip as I got closer to him, standing in front of him as I looked down at his slightly wrinkled forehead. “Thought you had a date with that new preacher boy.”

I scoffed with a roll of my eyes, stepping forward to place a leg either side of his thick thighs. I bent forward, letting my hands rest of the top the chair either side of his head. I knew that Lee was getting a real good look at my cleavage from this angle, my assumption only confirmed by the way his eyes were glued to my chest. “Oh, Sheriff. I think we both know he’s not my type.” I hummed with a sultry tone, enjoying the raspy breath that left his lips.

“No?” He feigned innocence, his eyebrows raising as his eyes flickered up to mine, his pupils dilated with lust. His tongue pressed against the corner of his lips, feeling his cock stirring beneath his uniform as he thought about how good my pussy felt around him the last time we fucked. “Why don’t you sit on my lap and tell me exactly what your type is then, pretty girl.”

I bit my lip, my pussy clenching with excitement as Lee’s hands caught me off guard, sitting forward as he grabbed me by the back of my bare thighs under my skirt, tugging me down to straddle his lap. I let out a mischevious giggle, planting the palms of my hands firmly against his shirt as I wiggled slightly to get confortable.

“C’mon, sugar.” Lee encouraged me in a mumble as his hands glided their way up to my hips, pulling me closer to rest against his podgy tummy. “Dont waste my precious time.”

“Well,” I spoke with a fake innocence, pretending to think of what to say as I rolled my pussy down on his crotch, feeling his buldge against my core. Lee’s hands started moving again, snaking up my sides and around to squeeze my breasts over the blouse I wore. “I like my men a little older.”

A small smile of amusement washed over Lee’s face as he thumbed over my nipples which were pebbling under his touch. I felt the wetness of my pussy dampen my panties as I rolled my hips again, wrapping my arms around his neck as I leaned my chest closer to his.

“Someone who’s not afraid to get a little rough,” I continued as I whispered against his lips, his cock twitching in his pants as he let out a breathy chuckle. “Or take what they want.” I moaned out as his fingers tugged roughly on my nipples, my palm massaging the back of his head.

“Someone who can put up with my bratty attitude,” I teased his lips with mine as his fingers moved to unbutton my top, desperate to have me naked on top of him. I rolled my hips at a teasing rate, Lee groaned as his cock strained against his pants. My pussy clenched in need, feeling his thick member rubbing against my core. “Who’s mean enough to put me in my place.”

“Someone who can keep up with my constant need to be filled with their cock,” I hummed sensually, my eyes fluttering shut as my clit rubbed nicely against his buldge. “Who fucks me raw,” I moaned as I teasingly took his bottom lip between my teeth. “and mercilessly cums inside me.”

Lee’s breathing was audibly heavy, the tip of his cock leaking in his briefs as he clenched his jaw. He let out an animalistic growl when his eyes dropped to my chest, noticing I wasn’t wearing a bra. My naturally perky boobs bounced with every roll of my hips, my clit throbbing against his cock.

“Someone who obeys the law,” I smirked as my lips ran along his jaw, knowing exactly how worked up he was getting. Lee’s heart pounded against his chest, all of the blood flooding to his stiff cock as I rubbed myself on top of him. “Who bends me over their knee and spanks my little ass red when I misbehave.”

“Someone who makes me feel so good,” I gasped out, moaning slightly as my hand slid down over his tummy, tracing over his podgy flesh. Lee’s hips raised to meet mine, causing my core to press roughly against his buldge. “and knows how to treat me right.”

“Fuck.” Lee huffed out as he bit down on his bottom lip, his fingers pushing my blouse off my shoulders as he palmed my bare tits in his hands. I wiggled my hips with a little more desperation, moaning into his ear as my fingers worked on undoing his belt.

“Someone who isn’t afraid to fuck me in a room full of people,” I continued, turning myself on as I imagined Lee doing all of these things to me. I felt his cock throb beneath me as his hands slid down to my waist beneath my top, controlling my movements. “and claim me as theirs.”

“Think you can be that man for me, Lee?” I tilted my head towards his, our hot breaths brushing against each others lips as I my pussy throbbed on top of his cock. I moaned softly, my lips parting as we got lost in each other’s pleasure.

I slid my hand back up to his tummy, rubbing his soft flesh under my palm as my clit clenched, turned on by his chubby body. My other hand slid up to massage the back of his head, my hooded eyes dropping to where his cock was rubbing against my pussy under my skirt.

I whined in need, my thighs trembling as I got lost in the moment, leaning in to press my lips against his. Lee growled into the kiss, his hand coming up to the back of my neck to pull me onto his lips harder.

The sensation of my body, adding the kiss became too much for Lee to control, his hips bucking up to meet my warm centre as a groan escaped his throat. His chest heaved as his breathing came out unsteady, a sudden wet patch drenching our crotches startled both of us as Lee’s cum filled his pants.

We both panted breathlessly as I pulled away from the kiss, our heads dropping down to our touching crotches. I smiled mischeviously, getting a thrill from making Lee cum without technically touching him.

I chuckled proudly, my fingers digging into the back of his head which had dropped back against the headrest of the chair. Lee’s hands had dropped from my body, still trying to recover from his high as he looked up at me with hooded eyes.

“On second thoughts Sheriff,” I whispered, dropping my voice in a sultry tone, a devious smile covering my face as I leaned in to peck his lips seductively, finding satisfaction in knowing how much I could wind up my favourite man. I stood up from his lap, suddenly grabbing his sensitive cock over his cum stained pants as his hips jolted into my hand with a growl. “Maybe you’re not up to the challenge.” I smirked, my tongue gliding over my lips as I teased him as much as possible, knowing he’d soon be making my pay for my actions.

tag list:

@harrysthiccthighss

@annestine

@bestofbucky

@be-patient-be-good

@nothing0is4here

@velvetcardiganbucky

@sexwithhiddlesbatch

@codyl-angdon

@marveljunkieee

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yesimwriting · 3 years

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Dying Starlight

A/n: i dont think an audience for this exists?? ik it’s not shadow and bone related, but ive been reading red queen and i wanted to try writing maven and ive been playing with this idea. umm...on the off-chance that there is an audience for this i do think of this as more of a series but i’ll probably end up deleting this lol

(Series?) Summary: reader is a childhood friend of Mare’s who isn’t officially part of the Scarlet Guard but gets captured by Maven. As a prisoner, she feels like her mind is being messed with as she begins to see a more human side of Maven. The new King tells himself the only thing he sees in her is that she’s a way to get to Mare, but something about her genuiness is infectious.

Irony twists things. Right now, the irony that my last thoughts might be about how I wish I had been trusted with a suicide pill twist my impending doom into something almost comical. I’d laugh, but I’d rather not startle the rats in my cell. This has been their home for presumably years, but I’ve only been down here a few hours.

I scratch the back of my wrist, staring at tired stone walls like they’ve done something to me. I wish I knew what time it was. How long have I been down here? How long has it been since I was separated from Mare? An hour? Three?Each passing minute strikes me like a bullet, but I can’t count them. I’ve never had a talent for accurately feeling the passage of time.

My head aches, frustration and dread tangling themselves in the pit of my stomach. Mare told me the Queen can search through someone’s mind, seeing memories even they can’t remember. What will they do when they see I know virtually nothing? What will happen when they see how close Mare and I truly are? i can’t do anything and the unknown hurts more than my bruised rib.

The sound of the heavy door that divides the luxury of the castle from the wasteland of the cells creaks. I only let my arms flinch, moving from my side to wrap defensively around my stomach. Dull footsteps echo down the pathway that lead to the cell I’m in. I don’t cringe, not even when the sound of walking stops.

I was not born into a rich family, but I was born into a proud one. Fear was practically a criminal act in my household. I’ve been trained to suppress all signs of weakness. My eyes don’t leave the stone wall, I mentally trace the pattern of a long crack in a specific rock. It reminds me of the slope of the Big Dipper.

Will I ever see stars again? The answer leaves a sharp pain in my chest.

“Mare told me about you.”

The words jar me, my stomach dropping in revulsion. Mare had trusted him, and here he stands--successful because he’s a traitor. I know what it’s like to be the most overlooked sibling and to crave to change that. I know what it’s like to want to succeed more than you want air in your lungs, but I don’t think I’d ever betray someone. I like to think that there’s a line even the monster in me won’t cross.

I don’t look at him, partially out of an attempt to protest and partially because I’m afraid of what I’ll see. “She might have mentioned you in passing.”

His scoff is ridiculous. “She didn’t lie about your sense of humor.”

That almost makes me wince. His words are too close, too personal. It’s like he knows me. I turn my. head, ready to cut through the uneasy beginning to get to the miserable middle if it brings me to the end faster.

“You’re here to torment me, not make small talk.” Turning had been a mistake. I regret it instantly. His expression is unforgiving--cold, sharp, and made up of only angles. But that’s not why I stare. I did not expect him to be objectively attractive. The fine slope of his nose, the sharpness of his cheekbones, and the ice blue of his eyes. I need to snap out of this mindset. I’m sure his beauty will not be so distracting when he’s burning me. “Though some might consider that the same thing.”

He scoffs again, the sound dry. The sneer of his lips does not diminish his attractiveness. The fact makes me loathe him. “I wonder if you’ll still be so prone to humor after you’ve been broken--any information of worth extracted from your thoughts.”

“Let me save everyone the trouble and just tell you everything that I know now.” My back straightens despite the pain in my ribs. I look pathetic, dirty and in a torn dress. He’s regal, dressed in fine, all black clothing. “I know that Mare wanted to kill you today, I know that she needed a distraction and that her distraction needed to be expendable, which is why I’m sitting in front of you.” I squeeze my hands together awkwardly, a bit of genuine irritation rolling in my stomach. “That’s literally all I know, I’m not even part of the Guard.” I scratch the back of my wrist. If I were him, I wouldn’t believe that, but I’m being honest. How pitiful can one person be that they’re worth more disconnected from the group they work for than as an actual member? “You don’t take that kind of risk for someone that’s only skill set is in thought.”

I didn’t mean to say that out loud, but I don’t regret it. Maybe he’ll think that my story is so pathetic it has to be true. “You have to know more than that.”

“The Scarlet Guard only reaches out to me on a need-to-know basis, and anything worthwhile to you is something I clearly didn’t need to know.” In a way, I’m glad I can’t give him anything. “So are you going to kill me with a bullet or do you prefer more flamboyant executions?” My death should be plain. I am human completely--I bleed red and I have no powers. “I do think anything more than a simple death is more trouble than I’m worth.”

His lips press together oddly, something beneath his expression tightening. “You don’t think your dearest friend will return for you?”

The sarcasm in his voice sparks something in me I thought only my sister could. “I think she has a lot of responsibilities and I wouldn’t blame her for having priorities.”

His eyebrows draw together. “I think you’re painfully unaware of how attached to you she is.” I press my lips into a thin line. “She’ll come for you.”

Something selfish in me hopes that he’s right. No one has ever wanted me enough to come back for me. My mother wanted perfect daughters that knew how to only think in terms of trapping men with stable careers. My sister did it, but I could never manage, and to my mother that made me useless.

“If you believe it,” I mumble beneath my breath.

I don’t know if he hears me. I can’t bring myself to care if he did. “For your sake, you better not have lied to me.”

My back relaxes against the raspy wall, fighting down a grimace as the motion irritates my rib injury. “Cross my heart, Your Highness.”

I watch him carefully, his expression turning into something much more grim. “A King is referred to as His Majesty.”

“My father was a prominent war general and my mother only wanted daughters she could use to social climb.” I fight down a grin. “I know what I said.”

His expression darkens into something bone chilling. “I am the King and you’ll refer to me as such or deal with even less pleasant circumstances.”

I fight against the urge to cower, picturing Mare’s strength in my veins. There’s weakness in everyone, and if I squint I can see the thin cracks in him. “You have everything--the crown, the power, the support of the people, and it’s still not enough. You won and you still feel like you’re competing.”

“You don’t know anything,” he seethes, practically growling.

I shouldn’t press him, but the more he reacts, the more weaknesses are revealed. “I know what it’s like to have a sibling that’s the sun, and no matter what you do, no matter how hard you try, you’re always trapped in a shadow.”

The lighting makes his eyes look almost glazed over. “My mother will be here soon and the truth will be revealed.”

He can run from me, but not the truth. Cal has nothing, he has everything--the father that never cared for him is dead, and yet he’s still trapped. Our similarities hurt me more than my physical injuries.

Maven turns, his gaze moving off of me feels like the removal of heavy shackles. “It would do you well to not press me. You’re worth as much whole as you are broken.”

There’s the strangest hint of something more to his voice. I wonder if he’s speaking to more than just me. “You haven’t won until that voice in your head telling you that you’re not enough is silenced.”

“You’re a powerless girl who isn’t even wanted by a dying cause and couldn’t find a husband to drag her above the poverty line. You know nothing about me, and if you keep pretending I’ll slaughter you in front of your dear friend.”

He leaves without another word. I fall asleep with my back against the wall and my ribs aching.

#red queen #red queen x reader #maven #maven calore #maven calore x reader #maven calore imagine #red queen imagine #mare barrow #cal calore #bookboyfriend #book boyfriend x reader

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writingonsaturn · 3 years

Text

Better Unsaid

a/n okay this has been all over the place!! it was originally going to be a blurb and darker and closer to smutty (so keep your eyes out for that??? lol), but then I made it softer and the concept got away from me and it got soooo much longer than expected lmao and i still dont love where it ended so maybe part 2?? i have the idea i just dont know lol

summary: Reader is a princess and Anakin has been her guard during the most public season for the past two years (not the most logical thing but just go with it lol, it gets explained better in the fic) and after a near death experience the two are conveniently forced into a....

ONE BED TROPE ONE BED TROPE *cough cough* ONE BED TROPE WITH ONE PERSON HAVING TO WAKE UP THE OTHER BC THEYRE HAVING A NIGHTMARE,, :)))))))

His smugness is the only thing about him I can consider ‘ugly’. And because I am so desperate to not have feeling for Anakin, the Jedi who has been assigned to protect me through coronation season (which lasts for most of winter), for the last two coronation seasons, I hold onto my distaste for that side of him. Which is why I suppress my laugh as he waits for my reaction with that confident smile.

“Come on, that was funny.”

Rolling my eyes, I let myself sit on my bed. I can’t tell if he’s actually funny or if my evening has been so boring that his sense of humor has started to become appealing to me due to comparison. In short, the suitor I was forced to spend an entire evening with lacked personality so much I’m starting to find Anakin funny.

“You’re much more entertaining than this evening’s suitor.”

Anakin’s expression shifts slightly, his assured grin dropping slightly. “Another miss?”

“You have no idea.” I relax slightly, taking a moment to be glad that I completed my father’s request and now I can just enjoy the time I have with Anakin. “I know my father’s desperate to make sure my marriage is useful for our people and that he worries about this selection process because he always thought my mother would be here to help, but sometimes I wish he wouldn’t rush it so much. It feels like all he wants me for is to marry me off in exchange of finance or weaponry or something diplomatic.”

“You’re more than that.” His response is so soft I think I might have missed it if I needed it less. I curse myself for feeling so validated by him. His words shouldn’t mean anything to me. After all, he could easily just be saying that because agreeing with my father will just make me more unpleasant to be around.

I smile politely while avoiding his eyes. I keep my hands on either side of me, fighting the urge to fidget. “Thank you, Anakin.” My words sound weak in my own ears, so I’m sure he notices my shift in mood. “I’m tired today, I think I’m going to go to bed early.” Normally, I’d be able to shrug off these kinds of things, but the beginning of Coronation Season makes me irritable. The anniversary of my mother’s death hits me harder each year.

“Y/n.” My name comes out so velvety I can’t find it in myself to interrupt him. “You are more than someone meant to be used as some kind of royal currency, and I mean that as more than just a...friend.”

I let his last word linger. We’ve tried so many titles that never seem to fit right. He’s the chosen one, one of the most powerful Jedi to exist, and the Jedi assigned to protect me each Coronation Season because that’s when my mother was assassinated. He’s my guard, but we’ve spent too many nights laughing together and talking about everything and anything. And I guess now he’s my friend, even though sometimes when he looks at me in a certain way or sits too close to me or reaches for my hand to guide me somewhere I can’t breathe right.

“Anakin, you know I love when you’re here, even though sometimes you drive me insane. And I appreciate your kindness, but your words can’t change the truth. That’s how my father sees me and he’s not exactly wrong. I’m not a son, I haven’t been raised to lead an army or lead much, and--”

“I’ve seen you in meeting after meeting, convention after convention. I’ve witnessed the way you handle real problems and I know how you care about your people. You’d make a great leader, you don’t need a husband to be valuable.”

My chest swells, feelings I never let myself think about mixing with thoughts of Anakin that I’ve spent so long trying to avoid. “That settles it, you’re my favorite person.”

He grins, the look warm enough to melt the odd lump in my throat. I fight down a smile as he steps forward. “And I wasn’t before?”

“I take it back--your head’s big enough without the additional praise.”

Rolling my eyes, I lean back slightly in order to recreate the distance he so easily destroyed. “And I thought you had finally warmed up to me, princess.”

The use of my title makes me skeptical. The last time Anakin used it was when he was trying to ease me so that I’d walk around the palace garden so he had an excuse to do the same. It was beyond late and I was half asleep, but he had os much energy he was desperate and just needed to do one more thing. I felt bad that his schedule revolved so heavily around mine (and when he softens his eyes and says please, I’m left incapable of saying the word ‘no’) so I agreed.

“What do you want?”

Anakin dramatically clutches a hand over his heart. He throws his head back slightly as if he’s just taken a fatal blow. “When did you turn so cynical? I’ve been back for three days and I’m starting to believe you’re a different person now.”

Yeah...he’s definitely getting ready to ask for something that’s more trouble than it’s worth. Then again, everything with him seems to be worth it in some capacity. Even if it’s just that one smile he gets when he’s truly content and doesn’t think anyone’s looking.

“Mhm,” I mumble, still fighting a grin, “so you’re not going to ask me anything?”

His lips part slightly as he exhales. I watch the way his eyes narrow at my victorious expression. “I don’t have anything to ask of you, but I do have a small request. A request so small you won’t have to do anything but say yes.”

Suspicious. Too easy. “You’re unbelievable.”

“You just said I was your favorite person. Remember that.”

I’m too tired for his coyness. I’d rather him make his ridiculous request now so that I can be in bed within the hour. Though I can’t pretend I don’t normally feel better after letting him drag me along on whatever ‘adventure’ he just needed to complete while also not letting me out of his sight. I used to tell him that I wouldn’t tell anyone if I wasn’t under supervision for an hour or two a day, but he dismissed the idea immediately. That’s been the cornerstone of everything.

“What is it?”

He sighs once, tilting his head slightly. The way his eyes soften tells me he’s already won at least half the battle. “They still haven’t caught the attempted--” Anakin pauses, something behind his eyes darkening. I know what he’s remembering. Last night, an assassin had gotten closer than they ever had. I had almost been shot in the garden, Anakin had barely pushed me to the ground in time. A fact he’s been beating himself up for since, especially considering that no one has been able to find my attempted killer yet. “They were so close to you. They were within palace limits and they disappeared like they never existed. Who’s to say they don’t work here and are waiting for the next moment you’re exposed? Who’s to say they aren’t here tonight, waiting for me to retire for the night?”

I didn’t realize how my near death experience had been so personal to him. He, like everyone else, was beyond frantic after it happened. But my father put an end to verbal worry before it could truly begin. He said the best thing we could do was act like everything was fine as the assailant was searched for. Anakin hadn’t been particularly cheery after my father instructed the guards to focus their search on known enemies instead of prioritizing venting the staff closest to me. I comforted him as best as I could, but he didn’t feel like speaking about it and I had to worry about the suitor meeting my father wouldn’t let me cancel.

“Anakin, you’re right next door to me.” I have to fight the urge to reach for him. “I was fine because of you, and I will be fine because of you.”

He sighs once, his expression not easing. “And if the person is silent? The attacker could easily work in the palace, but no one wanted to direct the search inwards.” His words are more strained than I’ve ever heard them be. “I think it’d be smart for me to stay in here. I know you’ve refused having a guard stay in your room or outside your door, but...” Anakin sighs. “Your safety would be more assured.”

Him staying in my room? The only line I’ve ever been allowed to draw, and I’m actually considering letting that go. If he seemed even slightly less sad, I wouldn’t even consider it. It’s not a good idea. I’m already too attached to him. “Anakin--”

“I’d feel more assured.”

Damn him. Stupid, extremely sweet Anakin who makes saying no to him impossible. I stretch my arm forward, letting my hand squeezes his forearm gently. “There’s no reason to not feel assured.” He doesn’t ease, the cloudiness behind his eyes remains stubborn. “You’re still worried.” No reaction, the haze that’s taken him isn’t letting go. “Fine--but tell no one or my father is going to take to posting guards at my door every night.”

...I guess there are worse ways to spend a night. Which is kind of a problem since I’m trying to...enjoy Anakin less. Ugh, I even sound dumb in my head. “I promise, princess.”

Ugh, he’s adorable. “You’re intolerable.” I stand from he foot of my bed and pull back the covers on my bed. He doesn’t reply, something dark still playing for him. I watch him move to face the door. Wait--is he doing what I think he’s doing? “No, you’re not going to stand there all night. You need sleep.” He has the audacity to give me an annoyed look. “I already didn’t want to do this so now you have to listen to my conditions.”

He raises an eyebrow, his lips pressing together oddly. He’s trying to gauge something from my expression, perhaps he’s looking for buttons to press to get his way. I guess I look as stubborn as I feel because instead of arguing he just sits on the floor. What? I watch him cautiously, trying to figure out if this is some weird argument trick.

“What are you doing?”

“What you asked.”

And just like that I’ve put myself in a position that I will no doubt regret terribly the second common sense returns to me. There’s no way to deny that Anakin and I are closer than we probably should be. We’ve felt like friends first since the day we first met. I can’t think of any reason to not offer to let him sleep in my bed except those stupid budding feelings I refuse to label.

It’s not like I actually like him. I can’t--I’m going to be married to some nobleman and he’s prohibited from ever forming attachments. I’m not even sure if we’re allowed to be friends. Having actual feelings for him would be so, so pointless. It would just lead to heartache and the ruining of the one genuine relationship I have. I’m just a tiny bit confused right now because he’s objectively really attractive and he’s always there for me. Always there to make a joke after a particularly rough meeting. Always there to offer me a supportive smile. Always there to humble me when I teeter on acting like my father.

Anyone’s heart would flutter at that, so it doesn’t mean anything. And if it does, I need to squash any budding feelings now before I mess things up. Which is why I should keep him at arm’s length until I get it together. But is that fair to him? And what if doing that is making things worse? What if it’s just reinforcing the idea of having feelings?

This is ridiculous. I’m going to get over this if it kills me. It’s just a bed and it’s only sleeping. I’m meant to be able to lead an entire union and I can’t sleep next to someone and act normal?” “You don’t have to sleep on the floor.”

The second the words leave my mouth I regret it all. What’s wrong with me? Did I seriously think I’d be okay?

I hear his soft exhale, “I’ll be fine. I’ve slept in worse places than on your marble floor.”

His voice sounds so weighted I can’t help but feel bad for not noticing that he’s still bothered. Whether he’s upset about his near miss or the fact that my father didn’t take his advice, I don’t know. But something’s wrong. The easy thing to do would be to just let him sleep it off. The smart thing to do would be to leave him alone until tomorrow.

I think of all the times that I’ve been upset and Anakin had refused to let me go to sleep angry or sad or overwhelmed. “I know, but it’s really not a big deal. It’s not like we don’t know each other. I mean, last Coronation Season you buttoned me into more gowns than my handmaid. And I owe you for saving me from one of the worst suitors I’ve ever had.”

“I’m starting to think we need to develop some kind of signal.”

The tiny bit of lightness that’s returned to his voice makes all of my internal struggle feel worth it. “You always seem to know.”

“That’s because when you’re reaching your limit, that one line appears between your eyebrows.”

I didn’t realize I had such a tell. I try to remember the way that the suitor drawled on and on about how amazing he was and how he couldn’t wait for the day he had a bride to bear his children and plan (tedious) social events. My hand moves to my forehead, trying to feel the crease Anakin mentioned. Can everyone tell when I’m growing tired? Am I that transparent?

Anakin’s slight laugh steals my attention. He’s facing me again, his elbow holding his head up on the foot of my bed. “What are you doing?”

“I don’t--I don’t think i get a crease between my eyebrows when I’m irritated.”

I hear him stand. I don’t realize he’s approaching me until he’s so close I could touch him without even needing. to stretch. “No, when you’re irritated you raise your eyebrows slightly, because that’s when you’re at your most sarcastic.”

“Really?”

The corner of his mouth tugs upwards. “Just like that.” I force myself to keep my expression blank. “When you’re reaching your limit, your eyebrows crease here.” His finger taps the space between my brows so gently I almost don’t realize what he’s doing. “And when you’re trying not to laugh--which is often, because you refuse to admit that I’m funny--you press your lips together in a way that forms a dimple here.” The knuckle of his pointer finger brushes against the bottom of my cheek.

I bite my tongue to fight the warmth spreading across my face. “I didn’t realize i was so transparent.”

“I can’t always tell what you’re thinking.”

“I’ll take it.” Maybe if I was less tired, I’d argue a little more. “You know you’re not that difficult to read either.”

“Really?”

“Yes, I can tell when you’re just being stubborn for the sake of it. I can see it in your eyes and you’re doing it right now.”

His expression harshens slightly before softening. “Y/n--”

“I’m not wrong.”

He sighs once, stepping back. I watch him pace around my bed before taking a seat on the edge of my other side of the bed. “Are you happy now?”

“Happy that I won? Absolutely.”

Anakin halfheartedly glares at me. “Careful, add a crown and a robe that trails down a throne and I’d feel like I was speaking to your father.”

“Careful, another side comment like that and I’ll ‘accidentally’ kick you off the bed in the middle of the night.”

“Not if I kick you off the bed first.”

I trace a thoughtless pattern on the fabric of my bedsheets. “What are you? Twelve?”

“I’m older than you.”

“Barely.” I continue the thoughtless pattern tracing as I fight the sleep from my eyes. “Your comebacks are usually more creative than that.”

He exhales, relaxing slightly as he rests his back against a pillow. “I’m tired, like you claimed to be.” His eyes flutter slightly, a bit of his exhaustion showing. “Go to sleep.”

I should. I’m too old to think I can put off a tomorrow I don’t want by just staying up. This is stupid. I’m too old to think I can put off the anniversary of my mother’s death by going to bed. She had been taken from us on castle grounds, killed by a revolutionist who viewed my mother as a class traitor. I still remember the way she slumped to the ground, her blood staining the snow beneath her. I remember the way the guards were so busy chasing her killer no one thought to keep me away from the body.

“Y/n?”

I scratch the back of my arm in hopes of banishing my thoughts. “Yes?”

“You’re being quiet.”

“You said to go to sleep, that tends to be a quiet thing.”

I can feel his eyes on me. “Since when do you listen to me?” Not trusting myself to actually reply, I only offer him a hum of acknowledgement. “I know you’re not half asleep.”

Folding my hands on my lap, I avoid his gaze. “It’s tomorrow.”

I don’t know why I trust him to understand my vague response, but I do. His silence stretches over us like a thin blanket on a cold night. Maybe he doesn’t understand what I’m implying. I can always correct him tomorrow, when my eyelids are no longer as heavy as my heart. The more seconds that pass in total silence, the more I think that maybe he’s fallen asleep.

I wouldn’t be surprised, Anakin has seemed tired recently, like some additional weight he won’t share with anyone has been thrust onto his shoulders. A small part of me rolls in guilt. I need to be a better friend, just because I’m suddenly a little too aware of him doesn’t mean I can shrug him off and ignore him.

My hand almost flinches away from the feeling of something surprisingly warm touching my pinky. When I realize that it’s just Anakin and that the contact was probably accidental, I force myself to ease. It’s not like we’ve never touched before, I don’t understand why I’m making it weird. Sitting in my bed in the dark doesn’t change anything. His hand turns slightly, pressing into mine a little more assuredly. Biting my tongue, I turn my hand slightly, exposing my palm. And just like that, our fingers intertwine.

“She would have been proud of you.” His voice comes out so low I barely register the words.

The words shouldn’t mean much to me--he never knew my mother and has no way to know what she wanted me to be.--and yet I find comfort in them. I smile, turning my head towards him. “You didn’t even know her.”

He rolls his eyes slightly, relaxing further before squeezing my hand once. “Who wouldn’t be proud of you? You’re kind and smart and decent to be around when you’re not telling me what to do.”

My heart swells in my chest so much I’m surprised it doesn’t burst. Could he be cuter? “Yeah...now I’m sure you’re my favorite person.”

“Now you’re sure?”

The smugness in his voice has me rolling my eyes. “Don’t make me regret saying that.”

“Maybe in the morning,” he says easily, “now go to sleep. There’s nothing worse than escorting you from meeting to meeting while you’re tired.”

“I’m not that bad.” Even in this darkness, I can make out the way he raises an eyebrow. “Shut up--I’m going to sleep, but not because of you.”

He lets out a slight huff. “You’re impossible.”

The desire to respond to his comment is not enough for me to win the fight against the weight of my eyelids. The moment my eyes shut, I feel powerless to anything that isn’t sleep. I let myself fall into a weightless sleep, my only tether being the Anakin’s fingers around mine.

A distant noise yanks me from my sleep. I’m too drowsy to do anything but register the sound. I hear another similar...whine? cry? I can’t tell and I’m too asleep to figure it out. I almost fall asleep again, but a third distressed sound keeps me from it. I wipe my eyes lazily with the back of my hand as I try to sit up.

Squinting, I make out a figure on my bed. It takes me a moment to remember Anakin and how I fell asleep. Our hands are still together and no light is peering through my window so it can’t be that long since I fell asleep. Another disgruntled sound carries itself throughout the room. I shift slightly, leaning over Anakin cautiously.

Golden brown curls are beginning to stick to his forehead and his eyebrows are drawn together sharply. He’s having a nightmare. I shift even further forward before cautiously placing a hand on his shoulder before squeezing him gently.

“Anakin,” I whisper, “it’s not--it’s not real.” His eyebrows draw together even more harshly. I shake him a little more stubbornly. “Anakin, wake up--you’re having a ni--”

My forearm is grabbed so suddenly I barely register it before I feel my back shoved into my mattress. I blink twice. His dark eyes are frantic and the look on his face is far from the gentle, easygoing expression I’m used to. He’s breathing deeply, his chest rising and falling from above me. I swallow a slight panic and something I don’t understand as I try to keep my eyes on his face and my thoughts away from how close he is. Anakin pries his fingers from my forearm one by one until only his palm is touching me.

“Y/n, I--”

“It’s okay.” Honestly, I’m more worried about his uneven breathing than the way he grabbed me. I can’t imagine everything he’s been through or how justified his nightmares are. Anakin moves his hand away from me. I don’t sit up until he’s off of me and sitting with his back against my headboard. “It’s okay--I just--you were having a nightmare and I thought I should wake you.” He doesn’t react. I turn my body further, keeping my back straight. Anakin doesn’t move, and the longer he stays still, the more I feel like I should say something else. “Do you want talk about it? Or do--do you want to talk about something else? Or go to sleep? Or get some water? Or--” The far off look behind his eyes silences me. I scoot forward slightly. “You’re okay, Anakin, I promise.”

His head turns at that, his eyes searching mine for something I don’t understand. “I thought...” He cuts himself off by swallowing once.

I shift a little more, trying to find anything normal in his expression. “Thought what?”

Anakin’s hand is on my arm so quickly I don’t even register his movement. I let his fingers press into my skin. He’s holding onto me like I’m a figment of a dream and he’s beginning to wake up. “I thought I’d failed.” He exhales, the sound heavy. “Failed you and that you’d--I thought I had lost you.”

A lump rises in my throat, thick and unmoving. Cautiously, I place my hand over the one still gripping my shoulder like a lifeline. “You didn’t. Nothing happened, it was just a dream.”

His gaze falls to the ground before he repeats the last of my words. “Just a dream.” There’s a hollowness to his voice I don’t understand.

I exhale, carefully running my thumb over his knuckles. “Yes.” He doesn’t say anything but his expression hardens again. I let us sit there like that for a long minute. “I promise.”

“You can’t promise things like that.”

I sigh, unsure of where to go from here. “Bad dreams are only bad dreams.” He doesn’t reply. “I think you should try to get some more sleep.”

Anakin is unresponsive. I shift back, but before I can transition from almost being on top of him to just sitting next to him, he pulls on my arm to keep in place. “I don’t know what I’d do if something happened to you.”

“Nothing’s going to happen to me.”

“You almost died today, y/n. I was right there and if I had been a second later--”

“But you weren’t.” He doesn’t ease. “You were there and I was fine. Don’t torment yourself over what could have been. You’ll drive yourself crazy.”

“If anything ever happened to y--”

“It’s not going to,” I whisper, ignoring the way his hold on my arm tightens even further, “Especially this time a year when I have a pretty good gau--”

He tilts his head slightly, eyebrows drawing together and a ghost of a smile on his lips. “Pretty good? Really?”

“Someone needs to watch your ego, chosen one.” This time when he tries for a smile, the look has some strength behind it. Relief pools in my stomach. “Now get some sleep, tomorrow’s a busy day and when you’re sleepy you’re beyond irritable.”

Anakin lets me pull away enough to lay down, but he doesn’t follow. Not for a long second. When he does, his movements are impossibly rigid. I watch him out of the corner of my eye as carefully as I can manage.

“Y/n?”

I regret turning my head immediately. I didn’t realize how close he was. It would take no effort from me to make our lips meet. Wait--why am I thinking of that? I’m not allowed to think of stuff like that...especially not about him.

“Yes?”

He lets out a breath before moving his hand. I don’t understand his hesitation until I feel his hand cupping my cheek gently. “What if next time I’m not enough? What if next time I lose you because I’m not strong enough?”

I never thought my death would be such a personal thing to him. Sure, I knew that we had some kind of bond, some kind of friendship, and that my death would bring sadness. But I never imagined I’d matter enough to him that thoughts of my death would be frightening enough to slip into his subconscious and become a thing of nightmares.

“You are enough. Nothing is going to happen to me and if it does it’s not going to be because of you.” Anakin’s lips press together in a way that implies serious uncertainty. His thumb brushes across my cheek so unexpectedly I almost ask him what he’s doing. The intensity behind his eyes is enough to burn me. “Was your dream really that bad?”

He lets out an uncertain breath as his eyebrows draw together. I don’t miss the way his jaw clenches. “It’s more than the dream. I...y/n, princess,” he tacts on, a hint of humor returning to him, “you’re more than a mission to me.”

The admission is so soft I can’t help but smile. “I know, Anakin, we’re--”

“You’re more than a friend to me.” I don’t know if my blood freezes in my veins or if my lungs don’t contract when they should or if my heart literally skips a beat, but I know something in me completely stops at his words. “I--”

“Don’t say it.” I don’t know how I managed to cut him off so sharply and I’m a little disappointed when I do, but it’s the right thing to do. Thought of the code that’s so important to him have clouded half the immense shock and joy swelling in my chest. “What you’re trying to say...I um, I want to say the same.” I try to drop my gaze but he tilts my head up slightly with his hand. “But we shouldn’t, you know that.”

"You want to us to pretend that nothing’s different? You want me to escort you from meetings with one suitor to the next every Coronation Season until you’re married off?”

“No, I’m not saying that. The point is that I’m not saying anything.” His eyebrows draw together in uncertainty. “Isn’t it enough for now, for both of us to just know? If we say it...that could mean bad things for you. And I don’t want to be a bad thing for you.”

“You could never be.”

It’d be so easy to believe him. To believe him and to let him say what I never imagined I’d be able to hear and damn the consequences of tomorrow. “Can we just refrain from verbally saying anything until you’re sure?”

“I’m sure right now. I’ve been sure since the first time we ever walked in the garden together. The night after the first Coronation Ball I escorted you to.”

I remember that night well. The way he hadn’t scolded me for needing air or taking off my uncomfortably high heels to walk in the grass. “If you mean it, you won’t say it yet. I refuse to get in the way of what you’re meant for.”

His thumb runs my cheek entirely, stopping at the corner of my mouth. “Are you capable of not disagreeing with me?”

Rolling my eyes slightly, I place my hand over his. “Probably not.”

Anakin exhales, his playful irritation clear in the sound. “You’re impossible when you’re tired.”

“I am not tired.”

“I can see the sleep in your eyes.”

“I can see it in yours too.”

He pauses, eyebrows drawn together cautiously. “I’ll go to sleep if you do.”

He must be more tired than I thought if he’s compromising with me so quickly. “Deal.”

Neither of us close our eyes for a long second, we just watch each other with wide eyes. It still doesn’t feel like he’s eased, but he’s come back to me so much more than he was earlier. I’ll make sure to check how he’s feeling in the morning. The first morning after we’ve...I don’t know.

I’m trying really hard not to get excited because anything that’s been not said could be taken back so easily. That’s the point--but it’s hard not to let my heart get ahead of my rationality. I’ll just take the good for what it is for now and tomorrow we can figure out the rest. Even though he’s not allowed to form attachments and my father really wants to marry me off to foreign royalty.

Tomorrow. This can begin to be solved tomorrow. My eyes shut and I let myself roll fully onto my back. The second I’m comfortably settled, I feel Anakin shift against the bed. I’m too tired to open my eyes until I feel a weight placed against my chest.

I open my eyes on instinct, less surprised than I should be when I see Anakin’s head resting against my chest. Before I can speak, I feel his arm rest against my side. “Anakin,” I breathe, my hand moving to smooth his hair out of his face the way I’ve wanted to for so long. “What did we just talk about?”

“You said not to say anything,” he mumbles comfortably, “I’m not saying anything.” ...It is kind of the ideal compromise. Especially since I’m too tired to find reason and he feels so warm. “I can feel you overthinking. Go back to smoothing my hair before I have to rise and stand at your door so that your handmaid comes to wake you. Something tells me she’d be glad for the excuse to get rid of me.”

That might be the most dramatic thing I’ve ever heard him say. Selma is the most patient woman in the palace. “Selma would never report anything involving me, I can’t believe you don’t like her. She’s the sweetest woman I’ve ever met.”

“She’s the one that doesn’t like me,” he says, “she always watches me like she’s trying to figure out if I’m planning on stealing you away.”

Too tired to fight my smile, I go back to smoothing his hair out with my fingers. After a moment, he lets out an exhale that relaxes his entire body. “Goodnight, princess.”

“Goodnight.” The word is barely a mumble as I feel sleep tug against me for the second time tonight.

It’s strange, but my excitement doesn’t diminish my tiredness, it just makes the prospect of rest feel so much fuller. Safer. Because there’s so much to sort out and grieve but it’s okay, because we have the time and everything feels okay because Anakin is here, right beneath my fingertips.

#anakin skywalker #anakin #anakin skywalker x reader #anakin x reader #anakin x you #anakin skywalker imagine #anakin skywalker x you #anakin skywalker x y/n #star wars #star wars x reader #star wars imagine #star wars imagines #star wars fic

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