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mmilkbreadd · 3 years

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Chapter twenty three: “Bokuto Hates Goodbyes”

Masterpost - Prev - Next.

Warning(s): post-timeskip manga spoilers!!

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“Tendou is going to quit volleyball after graduating. He wants to go to Paris to work as a chocolatier” you said, never taking your eyes off him. You sighed again, trying to find the words to tell him. Bokuto noticed your pause and smiled at you waiting for you to reply. “And I... I'm going with him.”

Koutarou's smile faded, along with the hope in his heart.

Silence took over the atmosphere. You were trying to look at Bokuto, but he kept his gaze on the snowy ground. Neither of you had opened your mouths to say anything. Maybe because the correct words did not exist to express what you were feeling at that moment; you, remorse, and Bokuto didn't even know what to feel. Sadness, melancholy, happiness because you are going to fulfill your dream... fear of being forgotten.

So many things to say, feel, live.

“Why?” he asked, still with his gaze on the floor.

“Why…?” you lashed several times. “Because I want to be a baker, fulfill my dream and my grandmother's... It's what I want, Kou.”

Koutarou started to shake his head from side to side, his hands over his hair.

“Yes I know, but Paris?” Bokuto looked at you for the first time, his eyes filling with tears. “That's like a million miles away!”

The snow kept falling on you two and the cold seemed to increase, but neither appeared to notice. The moment seemed eternal: Bokuto's tears that still did not come out, the imminent farewell, the silence that still continued ...

“We can continue to be friends, Koutarou, you shouldn't worry” the Owl turned to the opposite side of the school, and started walking away quickly. “Bokuto! Bokuto!” there was still no response on his part. “Koutarou, wait!”

Even though in his mind Bokuto had planned not to return, hearing his name come out of your mouth once more, he stopped short. He quickly turned to see you, your nose was red from the cold, and smoke came out every time you spoke when you apologized to him.”

“I don't want to be friends” shouted Bokuto looking straight into your eyes, with a tear rolling on his cheek. “I do not want you to go! W-we're just getting to know each other! It's not fair.”

Bokuto pouted while still staring at you.

“We still have time, I won't be leaving for another month,” you said, but you knew it wasn't enough time. Not even a thousand years would be. “We'll talk on the phone!”

Promises that were very difficult to keep. Even if you wanted to, with the exams that would be shortly, and then in the cooking academy, it would be impossible to maintain much contact. You didn't know if you could even keep it with Emiko and Wakatoshi.

“Don't say things that later won't be true,” Bokuto said for the last time, wiping the tears that fell from his eyes. “Bye, y/n.”

And in a last act of desperation, you grabbed Koutarou by the wrist and then grabbed his coat tightly, then brought your lips together with his.

After a few seconds, the light of a flash interrupted you.

“I'm sorry?” Emiko said with a nervous little smile. She had taken a picture of you kissing, and now she was slowly walking away so she could escape your creepy gaze. “I better go, haha. Byeee.”

Again the silence had taken over the environment. But this time, Bokuto's face was completely changed. His cheeks were flushed and he had a big smile on his lips.

“You like me too?” he asked suddenly.

And even though you were speechless, you were able to whisper a little “yes”. Bokuto without warning held you with his arms, hugging you, and then started jumping up and down several times.

“Wait, we were fighting two minutes ago,” he said, making an angry face, but then his true colors showed and he started laughing. “Hey Hey hey! It no longer matters, we must take advantage of every second. Get ready, y/n, I'll come tomorrow at nine in the morning! Well maybe not that early, but I'll come before lunch!”

And here was another example where you could see the captain of Fukurodani change his mood quickly.

You said goodbye and you entered the academy again, thinking about how to assassinate Emiko.

Tomorrow would be the last day you would see Bokuto in a long time.

And maybe forever.

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Just as Koutarou had said the night before, at eleven in the morning he was at Shiratorizawa's gate, waiting for you to come out. It was not as early as he would have liked, but he had also arrived very late at the hotel, so he needed to sleep as well. Even though you were already walking towards the exit, two people arrived before you.

“Hello, Bokuto-san,” Tendou greeted. “Let's get straight to the point, what are your intentions with the little y/n? Ushijima and I are not very convinced that you go out with her so often. You were too late last night, and now it's too early. I hope you are not doing strange things out there. This is not Tokyo, my friend.”

“He is not your friend, Tendou” Ushijima said in a whisper, with his deep voice.

“I know, best friend, but I want to intimidate him” Satori whispered back, but he didn't realize that Bokuto had heard everything.

In the distance, you came walking next to Emiko. You had already forgiven her for last night's photo, although she still hadn't deleted it from Twitter, and had even put it as your profile picture for a few hours until you noticed and took it out. You can tell that Tsukasa almost ran out of roommates.

“Hey, aren't those Satori and Wakatoshi talking to your boyfriend?” She asked you, pointing to your friends and the one who wasn't your boyfriend really.

“I'm going to kill them.”

You sped up your pace to get there as quickly as possible and avoid disaster before it happens. But to your surprise, when you got to where the three of them were, all you could hear was laughter. Yes, even Ushijima.

“What is happening here?” you asked, raising an eyebrow at Satori, who you thought was responsible for this situation. And as always, you were right.

“Oh, nothing, y/n. Just old friends remembering old times” said Tendou with a rather forced laugh. Then, Ushijima and Bokuto also began to laugh out loud, while Koutarou made a danger signal with his eyes, and Emiko watched the situation in disbelief.

“I think Koutarou and I should go now” and before any of your friends could say anything, you grabbed him by the sleeve of his jacket and trotted off to Miyagi's main park.

Behind you, you could hear Tendou's screams calling for you to come back, but you ignored them and kept walking quickly in front of Bokuto.

Arriving at the park you could see several children with their parents playing in the snow, despite not having snowed today, there was still a little snow on the trees and grass.

“Thanks for saving me, things were getting ugly there,” he said as he took your hand that was on his sleeve, to be holding hands normally. “I have bad news.”

More bad news? You didn't think you were going to be able to endure another misfortune this weekend. It seems that Bokuto noticed your desperate face and squeezed your hand tightly to encourage you.

“They have suspended my bus for tomorrow, they say there will be a snowstorm in the afternoon so they have changed the schedule.” Nothing went right for tragic volleyball lovers. “I'm leaving tonight, so we can't see each other tomorrow.”

The world fell at your feet. How could everything go wrong for you? A lot of drama has existed lately.

“And now what?” you asked him.

“We live in the moment!” and without saying anything else, Bokuto started to run towards the ice skating rink, never letting go of your hand.

The ice was full of small children, who watched Koutarou every time he made a few meters and fell letting out a scream. The kids laughed at the Owl's exaggeration, causing him to make it even more dramatic to obtain more laughter. Every time you fell, Bokuto would rush to get up and ask you if you were okay, even if you were laughing at yourself and had not suffered any injuries.

After skating for half an hour or so, you decided to go for lunch because it was already quite late. You went to the same cafeteria that you had gone to the day before, and you ordered something warm since today's temperature was even colder than yesterday’s.

At the end of lunch, Bokuto asked you to show him around the city, although there was not much to show as it was quite small compared to Tokyo. You showed him where Karasuno High was, but you didn't go there since it was relatively far from where you were. He took several photos and sent them to Akaashi, and then to his mother.

The hours passed quickly, reaching the time of curfew, which meant that you had to go back to school, and Bokuto to his hotel to find his bags and go to the station. Unfortunately, you could not accompany him before his bus leaves.

“It's time to say goodbye,” you told him once at the entrance of the academy. "Thanks for coming to visit me, Kou.”

Before saying something to you, Bokuto put his arms around you. This time neither of you were crying, nor were sad. You were happy for the time you spent together.

“Goodbye, y/n, I'm going to miss you” and with a lot of bravery in his heart, Koutarou brought his lips to yours one last time.

“I promise to call you.”

And so, Bokuto Koutarou said goodbye with a sad smile, knowing that that promise was nothing more than an empty promise.

And that at the end of all, it would not be kept.

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A/N: I know Bokuto’s hair isn’t exactly accurate in the photo but it was the best image I could find😩😩 sorryy

Btw who wouldn’t leave everything behind to go to Paris with Tendou Satori? I wouldn’t even think about it, my bags are ready!

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#bokuto x reader #bokuto #haikyuu #haikyuu!!#haikyuu x reader #tendou #ushijima #akaashi #bokuto smau #haikyuu smau

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cottoncandyjester · 3 years

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Hey guys im sorry I haven't been posting, honestly tumblr is making it hard to. every single story I write tumblr crashes then deletes it so it's been HIGHLY frustrating...guess I need to invest in a laptop or a better phone

Sorry this was so long I always want the boys' back stories to be only 2 parts

This story contains: death, torture, abuse, toxic relationships, murder, violent themes

"you're too soft! They are sinners theodore why are you being so damn sensitive"

Theo winced at the punch his father landed which caused him to stumble back his back hitting the table which held their latest victim, a young woman that theo cleaned up and dressed in his mother's clothes, he didn't like the sight of her all bloody and mangled it made his heart sting.

Theo never helped to Kill any of these women, only cleaned them up and made sure they looked beautiful in death it was his way if asking for forgiveness.

When he was ten he idolized his father but it's been two years since he caught his father and been training under him to take his place and all that love vanished he found himself feeling nothing but hate and disgust for his father, what made matters worse was the fact that his mother had to take half the brunt of his father's anger.

"I won't do this anymore, you're wrong. Women aren't devils, mother is an angel and I wont hurt her"

Theo's harsh remark earned him yet another punch in the face this one knocking him down as he spat out blood the metallic taste making him sick to his stomach.

"you're a damn fool boy, I'll make you see her filth"

With that his father left him in the attic to starve for the night which was always a common occurrence. As he laid back on the floor the boy let out a dry chuckle.

"Just a little more...then you'll be the one burning in hell father"

Theodore felt everything go black and it wasn't long until he had passed out soon waking back up in bed with his mother caring for his wounds. He could smell her sweet perfume and hear her soft humming, something about those things made his heart flutter in the purest of ways.

"you should be careful theo, you know making him angrier will only result in pain"

"it's okay, we'll leave together one day..just me and you.."

There was silence after that and for a while things were okay, the family was quiet during dinner and once it got late theo figured his father would have went to bed forgiving him for his outburst in the morning.

Theo woke to the sound of two metal objects clashing together, the sound was enough to stir him awake though when he tried to move he realized he was tied up against a chair. That clashing noise he heard was his father sharpening a few knives, the sight made theo's blood run Cold.

"f-father?"

"god told abraham to kill his son, and abraham was about to do it like a loyal sheep. God will make you do awful things theodore and as a man we must do them"

Theo frantically struggled against the ropes binding him only feeling more and more stressed as his father stepped closer and closer thing soft steps of his shoes making theo feel like he had to puke.

What's going to happen to me?

Am I going to die?

Theo felt his father press the tip of the blade pressed softly against his forehead on the left side of his face, the cool metal only brought theo to reality more, his father was going to kill him cause god said so.

"i-i know we are nothing alike but please-"

"we are absolutely nothing alike! You are exactly like your mother a sissy little housewife! You were never going to be a good man or husband! When I asked God for a son I thought he would send me one I could be proud of!"

Rage fuelled theo, he wasnt sure why but something about what his father said made him want to scream, his father was wrong... absolutely wrong.

"I'll be a perfect husband, and a better Father than you"

As soon as he said those words theo felt the sharp pain of his father pushing the blade into his skin earning a sharp inhale of breath trying not to show too much weakness. Theo kept thinking about his mother and how in a way he was protecting her, their goal were to run away safely together.

"we might have one thing in common theodore, you have a devil in you just like me..it's time to show you just how tainted you are"

With that theo felt a harsh intense pain as his father dragged his blade along the boy's face earning screams coming from him as he thrashed and tried kicking but his father pressed his knee onto the boy's legs now carving his skin off in such a slow and unbearable way that it was driving theo crazy

"accept your sins theodore! This is your punishment for being unloyal!"

Theodore couldn't stop screaming as the knife raked down his face roughly cutting a large chunk of his skin clean off, the pain was so great he was close to fainting but his father came prepared and injected him with an adrenaline shot.

"p-please f-father please please please..."

Theodore at this point didnt know what he was begging for, maybe death? The overwhelming taste and smell of his own blood was making him sick and not to mention there was a lot of blood pouring down his face.

I'm dying.. god has forsaken me

"may you be reborn as a perfect child next time"

Theo kept his head down but felt a soft kiss on his head before hearing footsteps walk away from him before the door to the attic closed, his father left him to die!

Theo swayed side to side hoping to get free, if he could just get to his father's desk and grab a knife though without his glasses seeing things far away was near impossible though he could see the shape of the desk.

"mother needs me, I can't die.."

Theo grunted in pain as he fell forward which wasn't his plan but he'll take it, with every fiber of his being he crawled and scooted along the ground towards the desk before seeing a knife handle over the edge of the desk. Thankfully his legs were tied just his arms so with some embarrassing attempts to stand of even kneel before turning around to grab the knife with his hand.

Before he could cut himself free he heard banging on the attic door before a crash, the sound was enough to startle him into cutting the palm of his hand and dropping the knife

"argh! I-it hurts!"

Soon the attic door opened and rushing towards him was his loving mother, her frantic questions and worrying about him made him feel far better especially when she untied him from the chair.

"I'm leaving tonight theo, my fiancee is waiting for me outside"

"t-then let's go mother! Now is the perfect time to go!"

There was a tense silence after that as theo felt his mother bandage his wound up, his mother was hiding something and he didn't like it.

"w-we have a little girl and he's very protective of her and well with how your face looks now you'll scare her and I don't want to bring any baggage from my pa-"

Theodore felt as if his head was spinning, what was she saying? He did everything for her he almost died for this woman and she saw him as baggage to toss away before going to her new family.

"y-you're going to leave me here? J-just like that?! I protected you from him! I made sure he never hurt you! Were you ever going to bring me with you?!"

"keep your voice down theo, please calm down you're scaring me-"

"I'm scaring you?! I'm the one scaring you?! How could you?! I'm your child! I love you!"

He watched his mother look down shamefully and slowly back away clearly afraid of what will her next words do to him. Theodore was feeling a little unstable at the moment, his own mother just betrayed him can he truly trust no one in his life?

"your eyes just...look just like him. I can't theo I'm so sorry I can't it's too painful for me.. you're too much like him"

That was the thing that broke theo all together, it was like his brain just snapped and no clear thought came just pure anger and pain. How could she think that?! Theo thought he was nothing like his father absolutely nothing!

"no! I'm nothing like him! Nothing! He's abusive and a horrible man how could you say that!? I thought you loved me but you're just like him-yeah you're like him not me! I'm pure! A good person"

Theo couldn't stop himself, before he knew it he had grabbed the knife he dropped earlier, the large blade held tightly in his hand and scaring the one person he thought he can trust.

"w-why do you want to leave me? You're just embarrassed of me..you don't want me around cause you hate me"

"no no no baby I love you I just-"

Theo swung the knife slashing his mother's arm, hearing her cry out in pain made him only smile as he gazed at her fearful expression. His sense of reason was vanished and all he wanted now was to show everyone how much they hurt him

"maybe if you were a better mother I wouldn't have gotten hurt all the time, maybe if you weren't too busy being a good wife instead of a good mother I wouldn't be in such pain!"

"t-theo please I just-"

"why couldn't I just have a normal family?! I prayed for one! So why!?"

Theo slashed at his mother again and again over and over sloppily slashing at her without caring about where he aimed. He was far more focused on releasing all this pain and betrayal he felt

"why doesn't anyone want me?! Why don't you want me! I want you so what's wrong with me?! Why am I so broken?!"

Theo ignored the sobs and begging for her to stop, they were not processing clear enough to him he just wanted to hurt them to hurt them in ways they hurt him. Her thrashing soon stopped but it wasnt enough for theo, he moved ontop of her now raising the blade and slamming it down inside her chest his eyes glossed over as he did so.

"I'm not like him, I'm nothing like him! I'll be a good father! A good husband! I'll never abandon my family! Never! Never ! Never!"

The knife slipped I his hand and when he tried to catch it he grazed his hand before hearing the knife clatter onto the ground, theo panted heavily before looking at his hands seeing hands were lightly bruised from gripping the knife so hard, he then looked down at his mother and her horror stuck face.

"look at what father did, I told you we should have left before...it's okay I'll protect you"

Theo reached out taking the scarf his mother wore before putting it on himself before pressing it to his nose and taking a deep inhale, the sweet scent gave him shivers.

The sight of his dead mother made the boy tear up but he honestly didn't realize he was the one who had did such a thing, it was something he refused to accept. Now gripping the knife he once had before he creeped down the attic stairs each step more and more anxiety fuelling, from the quiet sounds it seemed like his father was asleep.

Theo had never acted out so violently than when he saw his father sleeping soundly in bed, once again much like before he had completely snapped now walking over and plunging the knife deep into his father's side earning a painted grunt along with his father's eyes to snap open

This caused theo to panic and he did the first thing he could think of which was to bite his victim's ear using that time to shove the blade into his father's chest before biting his ear off and spitting it onto the ground in a feral snarling mess.

"t-there's your demon... y-you're just like me"

"I'm nothing like you! Nothing!"

Theo gripped the knife blade shoving it deeper til it became stuck and his father stopped breathing, what struck theo as odd was the lack of struggling..didn't his father want to live? That escaped his mind as he tried wiggling the blade out of the corpse only to whine lightly at how stuck it was

"heavy, too heavy"

Theodore decided his next plan was to change out of his bloody clothes except for his scarf of course and to turn on the gas stove as high it can possibly go, he used his bedroom window to escape since his mother's boytoy was still waiting for her outside.

One match, it took one match to burn the place down starting the fire in his bedroom and letting it spread. A few minutes after theo jumped out the window the house roared to live now completely on fire.

Theodore only 12 years old had killed his parents and burned the place down, he had no one else to turn to no family or anything so he turned to his local church. They sent him to a boarding school where he grew up and found a passion for medicine as well as helping others.

His dark past always haunted him, he was known as the boy whose family died horrible deaths. There were always rumors about what happened that night some say that his father killed everyone before burning the place and stabbing himself others think that his mother's lover killed them all in an angry rage. Theo would always just shrug and laugh it off thanking God that he's alive

Those dark desires of having a family only grew as he grew older, it became a twisted obsession that festered stronger and stronger by the time he was 18 he was already waiting for marriage..after all a good husband waits for the perfect bride.

"theo? Hey theo? Hello earth to theo?"

Theodore snapped awake only to see his sweet darling staring at him worriedly, he must have fallen asleep in his office again. Theo simply smiled as he stood from his chair

"what's wrong?"

"well, dinner's ready have a good dream or something?"

Theo chuckled softly before running his fingers through his hair trying to come up with a suitable answer

"just dreaming about the past my angel, though I should focus on the future with you after all the past is the past..."

#yandere imagines #yandere #yandere ocs #yandere oc x reader #tw death #tw toxic behavior #tw yandere #tw religious themes

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seonghwa-is-babie · 4 years

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Protective pup

Y/n And yunho haven't gotten the best response to coming out, getting a lot of hate from antis, unfortunately, y/n got a bit more than just online hate, all because he looked too scary and intimidating with his height and tattoos

Yunho x male reader

Warning: slight angst (cursing, bruises, crying)

Note: sorry if this made u cry ;-;, and that the ending's a bit awkward

Today was a wreck for y/n, ever since he and his boyfriend, Yunho came out as a couple, he's been getting a lot of hate from both fans and non-fans. y/n tried to stay strong in front of him, but in reality he didn't know how much hate he could handle anymore, since it was escalating to physical harassment

It wasn't uncommon for him to come home with bruises, but he did his best to hide them from yunho, he was already stressed with their comeback being right around the corner

Today was another one of those days where he got beat up for being in a relationship with their 'oppar'

🐶

Once he got home he expected to be welcomed by his boyfriend, Yunho, with open arms, but he wasn't home at the moment, so y/n decided to text him

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you: baby why aren't you home? I thought you were done by now?

Yunho🐶❤️: They're making us practise a bit longer for our comeback

you: When are you coming home then? I miss you...

Yunho🐶❤️: We're almost done, don't worry :)

Yunho🐶❤️: love you😘😘❤️

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Deciding he had enough time left to hopefully cover up the wounds, he went to the bathroom to get some bandages for the cuts, and foundations for the bruises

🐶

After bandaging up his arms and putting on a decent amount of makeup to cover up the bruises

He turned off his phone, hoping to not see anymore notifications from comments under anything he posts "maybe he is better off without me, or he can find someone else who's so much better than me, who isn't hated" as he started to think, he couldn't help but cry from it, falling asleep after the crying had tired him out.

At practice🐶

"alright from the top guys, five six seven eight" they went over their choreography once again "yunho your footing's wrong, you're supposed to go like this" the instructor demonstrated "sorry sir, I won't do it again" they repeated it, only for him to do another part wrong, repeating this problem until the members decided to address it

"yunho, you've been a bit out of rhythm since our break, is everything okay?" seonghwa asked concerned "I don't know hyung, maybe cause of..."

San looked at him confused "cause of what, Yunho?" he looked down "y/n sent a text asking why I wasn't at home and after I explained why, I don't know why, but his reply seemed so sad, he didn't even say I love you back, and I think I know why" the older didn't fully understand

"well, why do you think he's sad?" yunho looked down "I think it might be because of the hate we've been getting for coming out, I've deleted all social media of off my phone, but I don't know if he did it as well."

"yunho, maybe you should go home to check on him" Hongjoong said, concerned for the yunho's boyfriend, he knew him quite well and knew that despite his intimidating exterior, he was a gentle soul "but what about practice?"

wooyoung pushed him towards the door "that's not important right now, what is, is that you go home and check up on your boyfriend"

🐶

"I'm home" yunho said, expecting a hug and a kiss from his boyfriend, but all he saw was an empty living room, like he had feared "maybe he went to bed already? That's strange, normally he waits for me to get back" he went up the stairs to their shared bedroom, hoping to find the other there

To his surprise, he did, though he was already asleep, so he tried his best not to wake his lover up, sadly he did wake up because y/n was a pretty light sleeper

"Yunho?" he turned around to face his lover, he smiled "hey, I'm home, I missed you" he went closer to his lover, only then noticing the tear stains and the slightly red eyes "why did you cry? Did something happen?" he hoped to deer God that it wasn't the hate, but just a bad day at work

"i'm fine, don't worry about it" he tried grabbing yunho's arm to stop him from further inspecting his body, but that backfired as the sleeve came up and exposed the bandages, which yunho obviously saw

"oh my gosh! What did you do? Did someone hurt you?" tears started to slip from y/n's eyes and he turned over to his back "babe please, I'm worried about you" y/n turned back to yunho, the years exposing his makeup "hold on one minute, please"

He came back with a a few makeup wipes "may I?" y/n decided to no longer hide what people were doing to him and nodded. As yunho started gently wiping off the makeup, his face contorted into one of shock "how'd that happen, honey?"

"....Your fans, they've been harassing me on and off social media, on it, they always say I don't D-deserve you, that I-I'm a heartless ass hole who doesn't know how to properly care for you. But off...... Yunho.... I'm not sure if you know how much it hurts not only physically, but mentally as well. I've tried to stay strong, but I don't know how much longer I can take it"

at this point he was sobbing, something Yunho had never seen before. He sat next to his slightly taller boyfriend and rubbed the others back "I-I didn't know it go that bad..... I didn't think they would go that far. I'm sorry that I wasn't there for you sooner" both began to cry in each others arms

🐶

"I promise you I will do something about this, I hate to see you go through so much pain" yunho said, sitting in y/n's lap "maybe we could do something together?" the younger nodded, before getting up from the older's lap and grabbing his phone, texting someone "who're you texting?" yunho made room for y/n to look over his shoulder

"just my manager to ask him if I can do a V-live to address what's going on" the older tensed up "are you sure that's a good idea?" the younger nodded "we don't have to if you don't feel comfortable with it" y/n thought about it

"I don't want you to do this alone, but I don't know if I can face the camera right now" Yunho tried to think of something they could do "how about...... You lay your head on my lap facing away from the camera, that way, you'll still be there with me, but don't have to see any negative comments" y/n nodded

🐶

Yunho got his phone positioned where they could see both him and y/n and waited until enough people joined in "hey guys.... This isn't going to be a happy vlive today, instead I want to address something that's been a problem lately" he could already see some hate comments on screen "ever since I came out with my boyfriend, we've been getting a lot of hate, me getting only a bit of what y/n has been going through, I normally trust you guys and love you all, but harassing y/n for being together with me is just wrong"

"but oppar he isn't right for uuuu"

"we love a protective bf, preach🏳️‍🌈"

"not our fault you're both filthy homosexuals😒"

"hope u guys still know there's fans out there who support you two, we love you💙💙💙"

"but he doesn't treat u right unlike I would"

"for the people who think y/n doesn't treat me right because of how he looks, he's the sweetest guy I could've asked for, he knows what I like and dislike, how to cheer me up. Why can't you guys see that, is all you guys see a tall scary man with tattoos, or the sweet, loving person laying beside me"

y/n started to cry again and buried his face into yunho's thighs, Yunho brought him up to comfort him, y/n still facing away from the camera "it's okay, it's gonna be fine, we're gonna sort this out alright?" the youngest went to wipe his tears, the older leaning into those touches from him

"guys, you should stop... Look how much we're hurting him and y/n"

"oppar he'll just use you"

"look at how much they care about each other, how could you hate them?🥺🥺🥺🥺"

"guys please, I can't stand seeing him this unhappy and sad, seeing him with so many bruises and cuts, and him not even being able to face the camera because of you guys. This has to stop, or we will have to take drastic measures in order to keep ourselves save" y/n looked at his boyfriend, a bit scared but also relieved that this might just be a solution to their problem

"yunho, are you sure this is what we should do?" he asked, still unsure of what to do "I know many fans probably won't like it, but this is what I have to do if I want to keep you and myself safe" he took in a deep breath before looking back towards his phone "we will be deleting our social media from our phones, and if we catch any of you harassing me or y/n, you will be blacklisted and will get a restraining order from us" he ended the live

🐶

"are you okay baby?" y/n asked yunho "no, I just-" he began to cry "I just can't believe that they would do so many awful things just because we're together" the older pulled him closer "I guess that's the harsh reality of idol life, because of the way you're supposed to act towards fans, it gives them a false sense of hope. I wish things were different, but sadly we can't change it, not in one day that is. This stuff is going to take time for people to accept, but i'm sure that when some more time has passed, people will accept it, as there will be more like us in the future"

"how can you be so sure of it? Maybe people will start to resent it even more" he looked up at y/n "I don't know what the future holds, but I do know we can influence it, you're a role model for people, if they see from you that it's okay, I'm sure many people will follow"

they stayed in each other's arms, eventually falling asleep, but not before saying one last thing to each other "I love you yunho, with all my heart, and I hope our country will allow us to be together till the end" yunho snuggled closer to y/n "you mean like getting married and stuff? I'd love to get married to you, and I hope we can in the future too"

They shared a quick peck before cuddling up once more and going to sleep for the night

#ateez imagines #ateez scenarios #kpop x male reader #ateez x male reader #ateez #Yunho x male reader #Yunho #jeong yunho

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artsyxloner · 3 years

Text

Not Just a Monster

Warning: severe Bullying, death, violence, very sad, eating disorder

[ So this Chapter is going to talk about some parts of Min Soo-Nico's past and leading up to what happened. I think you guys deserve some insight. Chapter 18 will return to normal. ]

17: Past Time Revealed

To be honest, the school was a place for kids just to be Terrorized and shrunken down to their little last fuck. I had walked out of the art class gripping my Sketchbook in hand.

I had bowed to my teacher Mrs. Choi before going. Just to be polite most kids weren't here. She smiled and waved me off, it was lunchtime and I had brought my Dosirak ( packed lunch) with me.

I had to stop by my homeroom to put away my sketchbook.

I decided not to eat at the canteen because it was too crowded. Plus I didn't like certain people that were there. So I eat outside it was much prettier not to be eating in.

Sitting down on a bench, I opened my container there was Tofu kimchi, white sticky rice. Taking my chopsticks I began to eat. It wasn't much because my mom has been limiting my portions.

She wants me to be like one of the skinny girls that didn't have to wear a large size skirt. Munching slowly, I heard a group of kids laughing Hysterically behind me.

Maybe they were laughing at something funny. Turning around to see what it was, there was nothing I got confused about? Where was it? But they continued to laugh.

The thing was they were staring at me laughing. But why? Their phones were out too. Like they were taking pictures or videos I didn't know for sure.

Calling to them I asked what was so funny. " what are you guys laughing at?" I yelled, they whispered to one other ignoring me. Soon they ran over to where I was.

" I think if you see this, you'll understand why we are." It was Kim Ji-Mun the new girl with the best visuals in our grade. " have a look." She turned the expensive phone towards me.

And what I saw next made me drop my chopsticks. My eyes were stuck on the screen I couldn't take my eyes off of it. " delete that!!" I begged to get up, trying to fix myself.

" Now why would I do that?" She scoffed, " no way, I think we'll be posting them?" I shook my head. " no you can!" I yelled my body started to shake. It was a picture of my skirt it had been brought up showing my underwear.

Students gathered around, seeing what the commotion was. I gulped, staring at the ground, " please, don't show anyone." I mumbled not able to take the embarrassment. If the others were to see I would the laughing stock of the whole school.

" wow this is embarrassing, fatty I just" she paused, " can't pass up this opportunity." She then took a photo of me either the flash on and posted the two pictures together to show the person with their skirt up was me.

There were some Notification alerts, everywhere, people looked up at their phones and busted out laughing. Show it to each other. My face was red hot, not knowing what to do I took off feeling my Chubby thighs jiggle as I did.

That was the day it all started.

....

I laid down on the ground, in one of the empty classrooms the teachers don't use. I was hugging myself breathing hard, they were all around me my body stiffened my eyes frantically looking up.

" awe, she looks so pitiful poor thing let's give her some food." Ji-Mun announced as the students came over. " this should cheer you up!" She implied as they dumped all of their lunch over me.

" come on eat it fatty!!" they all chanted, but I didn't even touch it. This seemed to make them angry because Ji-Mun came up to me grabbing a first full of my hair pulling my hair yanking my head back. " what did we fucking say?!"

She took some food trying to stuff it in my mouth. But I jerked around preventing her from doing it. I think she was having enough of my Resisting because she Signaled others to come.

I screamed out, wanting help but knowing no one would come it was after school plus someone was outside blocking the door. I was then pulled up by one of the boys, " if she won't do as we say they she needs to get beaten!" Ji-Su walked over to the classroom room closet.

Coming back out with a thick wooden stick. " it didn't have to come to this Soo-Nico, do worry everyone will get a turn." She grinned evilly, rising the stick I closed my dark eyes waiting for the impact.

And it came down hard and fast, sucking in my breath as it made contact with my stomach, tears leaked from my eyes one after the other. I was hit in different places with My skin busted opened, and bloodstains in my clothes.

This wasn't even the worst of it.

....

I Ignored my family when they would ask about the bandages I had put on myself. I couldn't talk about it though. It would just cause more trouble for me.

I've lost a lot of weight since a couple of months ago. My mom was proud thinking I was working on myself to look better but no I wasn't. It's We're I haven't been eating it's gone so far to where I made myself puke up my food if I ate.

But I gained it all back and more, my mother noticed and even made side comments. I knew she was just wanted me to be like the other girls for once and feel good In my skin. But She didn't realize how much it hurt that she didn't see me for who I was.

She did it with good intentions but the outcome well not much.

I was tired and numb. I didn't want to deal with anything or anyone even my family. I stayed in my room not coming out. I went as far as to say I hated them and I wish they weren't here.

I hated everyone from that point.

....

I walked down the hallways of the school, I glared at everyone that looked at me. I had lost so much sleep that the eye-bags under my eyes were so huge and dark it was hard not to miss.

I had gone to my homeroom, sitting in the middle of the class, everyone was staring, I Knew they eventually talk about me they gave me little papers with messages that said.

worlds fattest pig

Let see your underwear again

Must suck to be poor

I would find them in my bag, them sticking out of my locker. Even one was written on the homeroom Board. You can guess which one it was.

Ji-Mun arrived, in-class noticing me she stood in front of the Podium. " as you know if there's a rumor going around that one of you has talked to Soo-Nico?" Everyone that was in the room got quiet.

She must have found out about the new girl that had come, I dumped into her. She was sitting in front of me. One was loud to talk to me.

" I better not catch you because if anyone and I mean anyone who talks to Soo-Nico is dead!" The bitch threatened right before the bell for school starts ringed.

....

I couldn't be myself anymore, all I wanted was to be a decent person but they screwed that up for me. I was fine before all this even I still didn't like my weight I was working on it.

It was late and I was waiting for my bus to take me home. I wore a thick coat because it was cold out, as the wind whipped at my red-fleshed cheeks.

My nose ran a little, I think I was getting sick. But I didn't care, at least if I got sick. I wouldn't have to go to school I think I'll wait here for the next bus that comes to make sure of it.

Taking out my phone I put one earphone in listening to my song Magic shop from BTS. My bias was namjoon, and my bias wreck was Taehyung, Bobbing my head to the music I heard a commotion on the other side of the street.

It was Ji-Mun and her gang, they were standing around someone that was sitting on the ground on their knees. Who was she tormenting now?

Getting up I checked before crossing the road, making my way over. I saw it was the new girl, I could hear her squeaky voice from here. " this will teach you not to talk to Soo-Nico again."

" no please I didn't know!!" She cried, but Ji-Mun just gave her an irritated look. Stepping on her hand I Hearing a crack the girl screamed out in pain as she dug her heel in further.

I couldn't take this anymore watching this girl tormented others just to have control, " why don't you-" before Ji-Mun could finish her sentence I punched her right in the face.

She fell to the ground, holding her bleeding nose, " what the fucking hell!" Her eyes glared recognizing me. " why don't you!" I suggested, knowing what she was going to say to the girl.

The next day my parents found out and told me I had to write an apology letter to Ji-Mun for almost breaking her nose. I was lucky enough they didn't press charges.

But What about the poor girl they were bullying? Did they have to apologize no! That's how the system works.

You get bullied they don't say anything, when they bully others, you try and Stan up from them but all you get in return trouble for doing so. Fuck them fuck everyone!

I told my parents to fuck off.

I didn't want anything to do with them at least that's what I thought.

....

It's been two weeks since the incident and I haven't gone back to school since. I laid on my bed with the lights off. I wasn't feeling good. Soon my mom came to the door knocking on it.

" Please just go away!!" I yelled hitting the door with one of my pillows. " please just come with me to the airport to pick up your brother. He wants to see you." She spoke of Jin-Woo.

I haven't seen him in forever since he aboard in the states. He was the only one that I didn't hate, at the moment. Groaning I got up getting off the bed, as I did I felt faint.

Steadying myself I went on and changed into a new pair of clothing. Opening the door. I was faced with my mom for the first time in a while. She had a worried look on her face yeah right?

" Are you feeling okay? you look, pale honey." But all I responded with was I'm fine. Sitting in the back seat my mom kept glancing at me asking questions.

Trying to start up a conversation, but I stayed quiet. " please god just leave me alone." I mumbled, but my dad heard, "your mother is trying to talk to you, stop being a little brat!"

He was turned in his seat facing me. " you haven't talked to use two weeks, when we get to the airport, you better be on your best behavior!"

Little did I know that would be the end of There's and my world.

Parking the car we got out and headed into the building. The places were crowded, with different types of people mostly Korean but there were some Foreigners.

Waiting nearby the gates, Jin-Woo should be landing anytime now. Sitting down I felt like I was going to throw up, I was sweating like crazy.

My mom noticed but didn't say anything afraid I'll fuss at her. I wondered where a restroom was in this place getting up I was stopped by my dad.

" where do you think you're going?"

I rolled my eyes, but he didn't see because his eyes were too focused on the magazine he was reading. " just to the restroom," finding out he shooed me away.

I had to ask some people where the restroom was. As doing so I passed a man, that was standing in one place, with some cotton balls up his nose. He was Turing his head side to side looking weird.

Getting away I finally found the restroom, standing in the stalls, I began to puke, rubbing my stomach as I did. I was sick I should have stayed home and waited for my brother.

After I was done, I wipe my mouth off with a sheet of toilet paper, I made sure that I was finished. Getting up I went over to the sink Turing it on splashing my face with cold water.

Looking up I was surprised at my reflection, my skin was ghostly pale, my eyes well they had strange veins in them, but I didn't think much of it probably just a symptom of this virus I have.

It wasn't long before I got more symptoms. My body got a cold rush feeling, as shivers went up to my spine. This is probably the flu, shaking my head I went on.

The weird man I noticed before was acting normal, maybe he's on meds? But he saw my eyes wide and hurried over to me. " you have the symptoms to right?!" He asked grabbing my arm shaking it.

"It is starting!!"

I look at him strangely jerking my arm away. " No, what are you talking about?" I backed away leaving the crazy man. Not knowing he was the first Infected.

As I went on it felt like the area was tipping, I staggered a bit trying to steady myself trying not to fall. My brain had that swelling feeling it seemed like I was being dragged into my head.

Not understanding what was happening I felt my body move but I wasn't the one moving it, I felt like I was stuck in my head and couldn't get out.

I then soon heard some gasps as something wet gushed out of my nose, It was blood and a lot of it. I looked into the window of the airport. That was right beside me.

And was horrified at what I saw was my reflection smiling back at me with pitch-black eyes. It waved slowly blood all over its mouth and neck.

Is that what I looked like to people right now? Because if I did I would be scared shitless. " you know you want to!" My reflection spoke to me. Grinning evilly. I felt my body backed away not believing what I was seeing.

What was this?

" what are you?" I breathed out scared. I covered my nose trying not to get blood everywhere. " I'm you but much worse." It giggled. Coming out of the window standing right in front of me.

" This was you're own doing Soo-Nico, 'tsk tsk' I'm not going to be enemy here." That is when I started to feel funny like I was losing my grasp on my mind it began to fade.

Then hearing inhuman sounds I began to dash towards people for no reason. Hearing them scream trying to get away, jumping over stuff pushing each other down.

It was all so quick and fast, that I didn't recognize the people standing before there was an older man, a woman, and a teenage boy. Their faces had a pure shock but I smiled creepily at them.

Then lunged for them.

Waking up my head hurt, slowly getting up, I looked around me seeing blood everywhere. My heart began to beat fast. Why was there so much blood? And why can't I remember a thing?

I almost screamed when I looked down. Not believe who was dead on the ground, I covered my mouth as tears immediately began to fall.

" No... No, God No!!!" I cried getting down on the blood-soaked floor seeing my family lay there lifeless. I grabbed my mom putting her head on my lap. " what I? –What happened? How—" I then remembered my creepy-looking reflection.

It was the last thing I saw before going Berserk. More eyes began to unfolded realizing I'm the one who killed them. And I didn't know why? My body shook not knowing what to do or who to call?

" I didn't mean to! I didn't– I wouldn't!! I'm sorry!" I screamed into my mother's shirt. Beating the floor with my fist, " I'm sorry for being mean to you!!"

I sucked in a couple of breaths, feeling my lips and chin quiver. As I sob from there on out, I had to live with the guilt of the death of my family never forgetting that moment.

#kdrama #kdramaedit #netflix kdrama #sweet home #sweet home netflix #cha hyun su #kdrama spoilers #song kang #sweet home series #sweet home webtoon #koeran #korean #korean show #webtoon #fanfic #monsters #@tumblr

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goldenlilyz · 5 years

Text

Before that very moment, you had no idea where the Genius Lab was, but now, here you were. Still skeptical that all of this was real and not just a dream, you grabbed your phone and took a picture of the building. Agust D laughed and you blushed. You thought you were being ridiculous and that he was laughing at you, but actually, he thought it was really cute. Sooyoung, otherwise, didn't think it was cute at all. “Can you please delete that photo? We can't risk having our location leaked,” she said, coming closer to you.

“Oh, I wasn't planning on sharing the photo, but of course, I guess I should delete it, I'm sorry.” You felt embarrassed, but when you were about to delete the photo, Agust D stopped you by holding your hand in place, “It's okay, noona, she won't leak it.”

Once again you blushed, and even though you wanted to smile big, you held it when you saw Sooyoung's face, she clearly didn't believe what she had just heard.

“There's no way to assure that, Yoongi, we can't risk it,” she argued. Agust D stopped on his track, “Noona, me and y/n had a conversation about trust and as long as she gives me no reason to doubt her, I'm compromised to trust her.”

You looked shook and Agust D smirked at you. Sooyoung looked at you, clearly concerned, “Well, if Yoongi trusts you, then I'll do it too. But it's my job to make sure nothing happens to him, so I'll have to keep an eye on you either way,” she sighed.

You could see that she was just worried, so you smiled and nodded. Sooyoung walked in front of you both, entering the building. “Sooyoung noona is just protective, please don't mind her,” Agust D mumbled to you, smiling. He took your phone from your hand and opened the camera once again, “Let's make memories, shall we?" You smiled shyly and nodded. He took the photo and sent it to him before giving the phone back to you, “You can post this one, don't forget to tag me,” he said, winking at you and entering the building. You stood there, smiling to yourself for a few seconds before following them into the building.

…

“Okay, so this…” He smiled, unlocking the door with his password. 'Genius Lab’ was written on it and it just made your heart throb. “Is where all the magic happens.” And then he opened it.

Your jaw dropped as you walked in the room. The three big TV screens with 'Agust D’ on it; the computers and mixing booths; the piano at the corner. Everything. Every single thing he used to produce his songs, his albums, the things you love the most. All of it was right in front of you. You spun around, looking at everything in awe.

Yoongi smiled, genuinely happy and appreciating how happy you were from just looking at his little workspace. That place meant everything to him, and seeing how you, one of his fans, enjoyed it so much even though it's so simple, also meant the world to him. His fans meant the world to him. So you meant the world to him.

“Liked it?” he asked, entering the room and closing the door behind him.

“If I liked it?” you repeated, looking at him in disbelief. “I loved it. It's just like I pictured and I'm not even gonna lie, my dream workplace. Hopefully, one day I'll have one too.”

He couldn't help but smile at your dreamy and hopeful eyes. He could tell how much you loved music, and could also relate. A lot.

“You will,” he assured. “But for the time being, this is also yours.”

Okay, he wouldn't deny it: it kinda hurts to share his little space, but he really did feel a trusting aura exhaling from you, so it wasn't as bad as he thought it'd be.

“I am so excited to work with you, you don't even know,” you said, smiling shyly. You didn't want to sound and look like a fangirl while you were with him, but you couldn't help it.

“I do,” he said, sitting down on his chair and spinning it around to face you. “I am too. It's really really nice to be closer to my fans, and I'm not gonna lie, I am a little nervous. I mean, you're here.”

You blinked once, twice, three times. Did you hear it correctly? Did Agust D just say he was nervous about meeting you? Was this heaven?

“I'm the one supposed to be nervous,” you laughed softly, “which I am, by the way.”

He laughed with you, “Well, it's not every day I get to be this close to my fans, let alone work with them.” He shrugged, “I mean, you probably have expectations about me.”

You looked at him, wide-eyed, “I don't, actually.” You managed to say quickly to your surprise. “Well, I always felt like you were a lot like me from what I could see on interviews and what I could feel on your songs and lyrics. I do have an image of Agust D. But Min Yoongi? I don't know him. I know he's not just what you show us. I'm not nearly as famous as you, I mean, I'm just a little recognized, nothing big, and I feel the pressure and the hate, and I don't share every part of me on the internet.” It was your time to shrug. You couldn't believe you were opening yourself up to him, someone you practically just met. But he was your idol, and you felt like trusting him your entire life as a fan, and now that he was there with you, you could sense that he was trustworthy. “So, no, I don't have any expectations of you. I have hope that I'll get to know you as a person at least a little bit for the time we'll spend together.”

Agust D seemed surprised. He probably didn't think you'd speak so much to him right away, but he was glad you did. He could relate to a lot of what you said and he felt grateful for having such great fans like you.

“That makes me feel better,” he giggled. “Thank you. For not judging me by what I look like on the screens and stuff. I hope I'll get to know you too.”

You smiled at each other and a minute passed, nothing being said. But then you took a deep breath and smiled, “Well, where should we start?”

hard path || part seven || mlist in bio

tagging: @jeonsprout @teampandawang @dreamy-despairity @alltaekookie

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pokefanbri · 4 years

Text

https://www.facebook.com/104057744428568/posts/156998459134496/?sfnsn=mo&d=n&vh=e

Fucking told him its a huge red flag if someone doesn't get rid of their apps. Multiple apps. Smh 😠 "oh yea i don't use them anymore" proceeds to use fb dating app" for real come on bro!

Some comments of the post:

"If you have to be checking up on your Partner then you shouldn't be with that person.. Idk how people have time for all this .. love yourself and know your worth.."

"If you're in a serious committed exclusive relationship you should not be on tinder. That's how I met my fiance and as soon as we said we are gf and bf and exclusive we both deleted it. Honestly if I was her I would have broken up with him too"

"a person also has a right to trust their gut feeling and check things out if something's not feeling right. Knowledge is power"

I've already discussed this but this news clip further validates my point of the topic, nothing more. I could call him out on hs bs further with detail, but I won't....yet, out of respect even though he probably doesn't deserve it. Til he reaches me & apologizes for everything he's done, i can say whatever tf I want & i could make a whole damn list.

Its the events of this what happened that started our downfall to begin with cuz i didn't trust him & he didn't even try to gain it back just left it as is when I could've turned my back right then & there, no apology either. Didnt apologize much actually, not even when i last saw him. But from then we spiraled & he got bored of me. I wasn't giving him what he wanted in whatever way & he wanted to find more. Closed himself off from the beginning & that created his boredom 😒

Would've had a blast together like a normal fucking couple if he was less closed off, & wouldn't have felt the need to do shit behind my back.

I'll stop talking about it for now, I have the anger & urge to keep going but I wont...actually no Screw it im pissed 😡 but ill keep it light. Its just not fair, I did so much for him but I was disrespected in different aspects of the whole relationship. Fuck! I've talked about the positives alot cuz i do love him..but the negatives are such bs too.

I want a good ass sincere apology for all of it so I can forgive him & move on, ive already apologized myself even though I dont think I should have to 😒. Didnt even give me a straight answer for the breakup, it was always a different excuse when I know he just wanted to pursue other women without me around im not fucking stupid. His own toxicity was too much even for himself & I was in the line of fire, to where i was the toxic one? No fuck that its unacceptable, he always lied when it came to covering his own ass.

For all i know he's watching me squirm & taking pleasure in all the pain I'm going through over him cuz he likes the attention. But no I actually don't think so on that one he's still good & ill give him credit where its due. But I gave him all the attention he wanted/needed & still wanted more from someone else. Really dude fucking really!?

Man up & own up to your mistakes, speak to me where I can actually hear ur voice speaking back to me with sincerity. We'll apologize together. Yea ull be pissed about this, but after u get over it & calm down. Give in & call me, granted when ur ready, & open up for once in your damn reserved life. Itll help us both with more closure & may even take a weight off our shoulders if we just talk it out, no arguing...since we're done there's no point anyway..a friendly non judgment zone cuz idc, i won't think of u any less.

U confused me during & especially after the relationship cuz i didnt know who u really were, i know the good cuz that's what u allowed me to see, ive accepted the bad that I knew already & from what ive learned...i accepted u regardless.

I always forgave u & not cuz im passive, cuz forgiveness is what the Bible teaches.. ive forgiven u & myself the best i could especially with the last things ive showed u, (accept this part cuz im pissed rn & standing up for myself, ill delete eventually maybe if u ask cuz nobody wants to be seen any less of a person. but I can make it alot worse, calling me the mistake was the worst thing u ever said to me & pointing out your faults so u can be better throughout the relationship was my only toxicity to u) we actually never really fought except the 1 time, just argued a tiny bit rarely about little things.

Ive tried using every ounce of my courage to show u how much im sorry for any wrong ive done. but its up to u now to make things right. U know me, ive always said that u can talk to me about anything. I want to be able to trust again & move on whilst staying friends. What else do u have to lose, might even have a great heart to heart convo dude to dudet

Everything ive ever said up to this point lies all my Questions. But here's most of the list, we both were equally in control of the relationship. Maybe u didn't want me to? But doing everything I had to for myself & the household, what u & ur parents wanted of me & just me being me cuz i had to, u had your own part to play & did provide...but did u actually not want me to cater to u if it were a sign u were lazy or something? Like did u not feel worthy of me? What is it u think is my "addicting personality" that isn't fixable on the surface? What is it really that u didnt like about me? This is why i don't have closure, u left me like this, confused as well as wanting more since u held back so much. Was that on purpose to give me even more false hope & want me to pine over u? Did u ever or do u still, love me at all? What did u want from me & out of the relationship, what was the purpose of it from ur perspective & why do u think i couldn't give that to u? What did i lack that u felt compelled to not tell me so I could improve & vise versa so we both could improve? Why wouldn't u allow me to help u become a better man when (I shouldnt have to btw), its exactly what u wanted but maybe didnt see it? Do u realize your own faults even as u do them? Lol. Like i genuinely want to know as much as the good ive seen, cuz to be better the more open of a person u are the more u understand yourself too.

Unless claiming u want to be a better man is part of ur alluring charm in love bombing process to land a caring girl on purpose lol...god I hope not, that would just mean u rinse & repeat like a for real narcissist 🤔 seriously tho look into that im not even kidding, im asking cuz i care. Im pissed now but 1 thing is that im trying to not put ur behavior against u cuz maybe u can't help it, its just the way u are, all ive seen & experienced points to maybe 50% of u lol. Ive always suspected narcissism, a real psych problem that might be worth looking into. But yea 1 of the reasons especially why im so forgiving & trying not to put it against u, why i still care despite u being a dick lol. I chose to look past it, all the time & up to now cuz I understand what its like to have psychological ailments. The worst part about it is most dont realize it, so i encourage u to do some research & self reflection & admitting it to urself are the 1st steps. Okay? There's different kinds & levels to being 1 too, i found that fascinating. bryan is definitely a different type, ur more lighter than that...definitely not the worst which is the physical harm type. Trust me its worth finding out more about yourself, just dont use it to ur advantage in a bad way but i trust u to do right & grow. Not sure a discarded supply (ie me) has ever tried telling a narcy what they might be for the benefit of their own self awareness 🤔,idk if its ever been done, but theres a 1st for everything? U can find alot on it in quora digest alone but Google is also ur friend.

You always were worth every effort of mine to help u in any way to be happy, & i was most happy when u were. U mean alot to me still, its the effect u had on me, I was under ur spell lol its hard to rid myself of it still, not sure when it'll pass. I chose to see it as a gift rather than a curse, that ur effect on me is still so strong when I shouldn't give a damn. If u really are a narcy, then I understand & don't put alot against u cuz its just the way u are & i need to accept it, but if it somehow helps u to help yourself cuz of it, then whats the harm? But, even in doing this or having my socials public for u...maybe just feeds into what u want...i still dont care, I want u to see how bad or good im doing without u in my life, so u know im okay at least. U promised friendship, least I can do is allow u to keep tabs on me too we spoke of, on my end of things.

The 18th of June was the last time i saw u. It'll soon be a month ago in about a week & a 1/2 & your birthday would mark 2 months. Cant believe we couldn't even last through to that 😔

Mark my words playa I will be contacting u on that day lol. Can't ghost your homie forever sweetie

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angstmaster69 · 7 years

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Hey blue! I saw that you deleted your youtube AU and i was just wondering why? I hate to sound all mother-y and patronising, but are you okay? Or did you just not want to write it any more? I hope i'm not stepping out of place to saying this but I really liked the story and where it was heading so I'm sad to see that it's gone and won't be updated :( but I hope you're okay! :)

Hey I just sent the ask a second ago, about hoping you're okay and about youtuber AU being deleted, and I just wanted to know if maybe you could tell us what was supposed to happen in the plot? I know I'm not the only curious one lol, and I was just wondering :) I hope you have a good day!

i actually JUST answered why i deleted/stopped writing yt au in another ask! as for the other points, i’ll answer under the cut because this is probably going to get pretty long!

first of all, please don’t worry about me, i’m fine! i’m just going through pretty nasty writer’s block right now, but i’ll be okay! i’m trying to just write through it, even if everything turns out super shitty, but yeah. it’ll pass. and if it doesn’t, then i’ll still continue to write, it just won’t be at my usual standard of writing, so i’m sorry for that.

secondly, i’m honestly really sorry that you were enjoying the fic and i just.. took that away from you, kind of unfairly. i just wanted to be rid of it, honestly. i’ve deleted a lot of docs from my computer regarding it too, so now it’s just, like, gone, thank god. but, yeah. hopefully i can just tell you the plot now and get it over and done with, and maybe that’ll help with closure i guess?? i know it’s really not a big deal that i deleted it, but it kind of is to me. i feel like i failed in some way. anyway.

i feel like before we get into the plot some details should be revised? it was always going to be endgame taekook. that much is for sure. they’re fwb. obviously there’s the queerplatonic vmin (which i REALLY wanted to explore the dynamics of because romantic friendships are Lit™ and i lovelovelove vmin with all my heart) and i mean, jeon and jimin are like, at odds with each other for Reasons, and yeah, taehyung is one of them, but also they just kind of clash in an ugly way and it’s tense and taehyung is like, the only reason they haven’t fought properly. i mean, they were gonna have a fight in the fic in the first draft, but then i edited it out and made them sit down and talk Like Adults and work through their issues, because i’m kind like that. there’s namjin being all gross and couple-y and in love in the bg, and then there’s weird yoonseokmin vibes, and it was kind of A Mess, and taehyung Does Not Do Relationships And Fucks Around A Lot Instead and he’s like, in denial about a lot of things. they’re all youtubers. yoongi is ace, taehyung has a very weird complex with his ability to form romantically involved relationships due to both family and personal past experiences. jeongguk is in love with taehyung but it’s beginning to take its toll on him. and NOW we can start.

so like, in the chapters that i posted, taehyung has a livestream for his 10 million subscriber party. he and jeongguk end up kind of getting caught making out but also kind of don’t, then they sleep together and spend the day together and just pray it blows over. there was a bottom taehyung riding scene, then jimin and taehyung flew out to seoul from la. jimin gets mad at taehyung because he sees him bitching out at jeongguk over text and he brings up ‘taekook’ (i’m SHAMELESS) with the fan they talk to on the plane, and it pisses him off, one, because he kind of despises jeongguk, and two, because taehyung is being kinda rude and jimin’s tired and it’s not his fault he likes filming everything. so yeah, they’re in seoul and taehyung meets up with some friends, one of whom is jeongguk’s Big Ex that taehyung didn’t know about, and it freaks him out when he finds out because he gets jealous and this is where things start Going Bad.

basically, he gets home and kind of breaks up with jimin, then medicates with drugs and sex and alcohol, then jeongguk and jimin have their aforementioned talk and help each other to help taehyung. jimin sorts his yoongi-and-hoseok thing out, and makes up with taehyung. jeongguk kind of moves in with taehyung, just to check he’s doing okay, and taehyung starts doing better. he makes videos again, even though it’s not the same, and he travels more often to see friends and family and the world, and sometimes jeongguk joins him. they have a lot of sex, sure, but they also talk to each other seriously a lot more, and taehyung tries to communicate properly. he lets himself fall in love with jeongguk, and they’re like kind of official without actually explicitly saying they are, then they’re caught kissing in public and all hell breaks loose. taehyung fucks up and says a lot of hurtful things to cover his ass, and jeongguk is just Done with waiting for taehyung to admit his feelings. so - and this is like, the Big Moment that the au builds up to - taehyung makes a video. he starts off slow and small, just talks about his life and where he’s at and the affect youtube has on it. then he starts spilling all kinds of things his viewers have been questioning for years - things about him and jimin, things about him and other youtubers he’s been rumoured to date. things about him and jeongguk. and at first jeongguk doesn’t watch it, but namjoon convinces him to, and so he sits down in front of his computer and watches the video. it’s forty minutes long.

taehyung. spills. everything. a full exposé of himself. he talks about about his sexuality, and his internal struggle with his aromanticism and difficulty bonding. he talks about everything, from the moment he and jimin decided to enter a queerplatonic relationship, to the moment he realised he’d fallen in love with jeongguk. he talks about how he’s been sleeping with both of them this whole time, and other people, too. how he faked being friends with some other youtubers, just because that’s what everybody did. how much he genuinely loves his real friends. how jealous he felt when he met jeongguk’s ex. how guilty he felt when he broke it off with jimin. other things, too, and jeongguk has to pause it halfway through because he’s sat there, cold, in the dark, balled up on his massive desk chair, crying. there’s no way taehyung can go back from this. his viewers will love it and eat everything up, and of course, taehyung could totally monopolise on the attention and popularity, but jeongguk hears the ‘goodbye’ and the channel deactivation before he gets to the announcement of it at the end of the video. because yes, okay, taehyung could come back from this, but there is no way that taehyung would ever want to.

so taehyung leaves youtube. the others still carry on, and they’re all still successful, of course, especially jimin. he sort of takes over taehyung’s space online, even though he had no intentions to. jeongguk and taehyung talk things over. they agree it’s not time for them just yet, but they’ll wait for each other. so taehyung uses his name to get a job as a cinematographer for an up-and-coming indie studio in hollywood, and he lives comfortably and modestly with his friends by his side. he doesn’t just completely disappear online, and he still pops up in his friends’ vlogs and videos sometimes, but he’s nowhere near as active or as influential as he was before, and he loves it. it brings him peace, and space to think and feel and be, and soon enough, he’s ready to welcome jeongguk and his love into his life.

he’s happy. they’re all happy.

i’m almost hesitant to post this, because it’s still fluid and ever-changing in my head, so please note that this is the plot as it stands, and that parts of this will probably be improved or changed in my head over time, but that i’ll probably never discuss this again unless prompted to. on that note, if anybody has any questions about this au, please feel free to ask me! as long as it’s not about if or when i’m going to reupload or update or whatever.

again, i’m fine, thank you for thinking about me, and i’m super sorry for deleting so abruptly but please try to understand where i’m coming from with this when i say that i just couldn’t do it anymore. i’m sorry, and i hope you have a good day too! thanks for checking in :)

#jesus christ #headcanons #asatmr #as steady as the moon rises #taekook #vmin #namjin #yoonseokmin #fic stuff #anon #answered #anyway i wanna d*e

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brujalatina · 7 years

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(1) jhdhjkjsd i'm smiling like an idiot 🤧💞 i wasn't feeling well bc all my friends are spending time together now that we're on holidays and i see them posting everything on sc and i feel left out again they always forget me or never say anything to me but when they see me again they ask me things like "oh i missed u why didn't we hang out together" 😔 but i won't delete i promise! 💞 yep i'll be in 5th grade next year and kjghbdjtt ME TOO!! the worst for me are class presentations or group

(2) projects and i tried to explain to my teacher that i really couldn’t do it and she tried to give me “advices” like “don’t worry you’ll just have to breathe and everything will be fine” like thx lol but that’s what i’ve been doing for the past 16 years and that didn’t work 😒😪 i only like summer for the way my skin looks atm kjdldssk other than that we should just skip summer winter is fine where i live, these past few year winter has been more warm in my opinion but i still like spring and

(3) fall the most. i live in the CEST time and it’s 00:19 here and ITS OKAY NOW i just eat chicken with pineapple and rice 😋🍚🍍🍗 its something my grandma did a lot when i was young but idk if it’s like a traditional meal from where my mother’s from i should ask! KDJDHJSFSH this is really cute i love this!! 🤧💞💞💞 i really don’t know what emoji i should use so i’m gon pick randomly with closed eyes! ok so it’s this one 🐢 jbkfjlkjj 💞✨ also i read your fic and I LOVE OT!!! can’t wait for

(4) part two!!! i’m also really happy bc english is my third language and i’ve made a lot of progress, i just had to look up 2 or 3 word while reading your fic! 💞 it’s honestly really good i’m looking forward to the part two!! 💖

ok but i had the same experience in high school with my friends like yeah? you missed me? then why didn’t you invite me to hang out? lol…i would hang out with you in a heartbeat😔💗 yeah the “just breathe” thing is absolute bullshit smh group projects are the WORST i’ve hard terrible a experience with group projects!!! every time i’m in a group project i’m either bossed the fuck around or i’m the one who has to take charge bc no one is bothering to do their work, there is no in-between!!! i had a fight with this girl last semester in my college bc she was bossing me the hell around and i was annoyed and went off on her and then she went off on me and it was just a mess..😪i wish i could just do individual work in school, that way i won’t have to deal with incompetent people or ppl dictating me on what to do ugh.

your dinner sounds so👅😩😭💓 i want some…i’m about to go make myself a chicken sandwich with the leftover chicken from lunch. i’m dominican and for some reason we eat dinner at lunch time and lunch at dinner time…it’s weird but that’s how i’m used to eating now so my stomach will feel weird if i eat rice past like 5pm. you should def ask! it’s so fun to get in touch with and learning about your background/culture/traditions💕 i hope you’re sleeping though it’s late over there already you shouldn’t stay up too laaaate. i’ll tuck you into bed 😴ajlshdfkdg you picked a random emoji and got the turtle one that’s so cute it’s a fitting emoji for u bc you’re so cute💓

i’m so glad you enjoyed my fic😣i’m not sure if you’re black or brown or chubby but i hope it’ll be enjoyable for you anyways even though i’ll be describing the reader in ways that point out that she isn’t white or skinny since a lot of other fics tend to do that and people like me who are black and not skinny can only picture the character being white and skinny. it sucks tbh :/ also btw may i know your pronouns so i know how to properly address you? i use she/her!!

and ok i had NO IDEA you aren’t a native english speaker!! i am very impressed bc you seem fluent in english wow👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾 being fluent in THREE languages must be so hard i wish i could do that..i only speak english and spanish fluently and only know a handful of korean words bc of kpop and kdramas😵 a lot of my spanish is dialectical because in the area in dominican republic where my parents were raised and my family resides, that type of dialect is most commonly used and so when i speak to someone who isn’t dominican i have to say my words carefully and NOT use the dialect that i’m used to using and instead stick to what some may call “proper” spanish so that ppl can understand me. that’s why in middle and high school i passed spanish with almost perfect scores but not perfect because of the fact that in the american education system the spanish we are taught is the spanish that is spoken in spain which uses words that aren’t typicailly used by dominicans, mexicans, peruvians, etc., but it’s what we’re taught and we HAVE to use them in the classroom and ugh it’s so annoying i’m just ranting at this point LOL let me stop🙄i’m going to go make that sandwich now and relaxxxxx😌

#asks #🐢anon

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