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bitterkarella · 13 days

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Midnight Pals: The Magician

W. Somerset Maugham: submitted for the approval of the midnight society, i call this the tale of the magician Maugham: so there's this evil magician Aleister Crowley: hell yeah Maugham: and he totally blew the big game against McKinley High Crowley: hey Crowley: hey wait a minute

Maugham: anyway this magician in my story? he really sucks Crowley: what are you trying to pull here, man? you making fun of me? Crowley: I'm the great beast! THE GREAT BEAST!!! Crowley: DO WHAT THOU WILT!! Crowley: I'LL STICK YOU IN A LOCKER, NERDLINGER! Maugham: come at me bro

Maugham: c'mon bro Maugham: do it Crowley: Crowley: naw i uh Crowley: i wouldn't want to bruise my punching arm Crowley: right before the big game Crowley: coach says i gotta stay prime

Maugham: also this magician kicks a dog Koontz: what?! no! Koontz: you didn't really kick a dog did you aleister? Crowley: alright that is IT Crowley: this nerd is going DOWN!!

Crowley: whatever, this story sucks anyway Crowley: it's totally just plagiarized Crowley: totally plagiarized from Crowley: Crowley: something, probably Crowley: Crowley: i'm gonna post that call-out

Maugham: yeah this magician just totally choked in the final play, couldn't even score a touch down Crowley: hey wait a second! Crowley: is this story making fun of me?! Barker: oh why would anyone make fun of you, aleister? Barker: you in your big pyramid hat

Crowley: what's wrong with my pyramid hat?! Barker: oh no nothing it's great, you definitely look super cool Crowley: my hat is COOL Crowley: this nerd is TOAST! Leah Hirsig: no babe don't do it he's not worth it Crowley: sorry babe i gotta pound this nerd Crowley: NOBODY MESSES WITH THE GREAT BEAST!

Barker: oo we're all real scared Poe: clive don't provoke him Barker: yeah i'm so scared Barker: so scared of aleister and his big pyramid hat Crowley: [angrily] this is the hat of a man who pulls massive amounts of pussy!!!

Crowley: I get laid ALL the time! Barker: sure pal Crowley: like, SO MANY scarlet women Barker: right Crowley: CHICKS DIG THE PYRAMID HAT! Barker: sure they do Crowley: I Crowley: SHUT UP Crowley: I'LL PUT YOU IN A LOCKER!

Crowley: I'M THE GREAT BEAST! Crowley: girls can't get enough of the pyramid hat! Barker: oh yeah? name two Crowley: well there's leah here Barker: uh huh Crowley: and Crowley: Barker: and? Crowley: SHUT UP i'm thinking

Crowley: there's Victor Neuburg Barker: Barker: victor neuburg huh? Crowley: no i mean Barker: didn't know you had it in you Crowley: it's not like that Barker: sure Crowley: i only fucked him to manifest thoth in a thelemite ritual Crowley: it's not like i like him or anything

#midnight pals #the midnight society #midnight society #clive barker #edgar allan poe #dean koontz #aleister crowley #leah hirsig #W Somerset Maugham

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literatureaesthetic · 4 months

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9th jan 2024 — went book shopping today 🛍 i really wanted to buy the two hanya yanagihara novels i haven't read yet (people in the trees + to paradise), and they didn't have either?? so i walked away with a copy of 'the secret history', 'on beauty' by zadie smith and 'up at the villa' by w. somerset maugham

— this'll be my first smith & maugham!! so excited

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rainbowpopeworld · 5 months

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“There are three rules for writing a novel. Unfortunately, no one knows what they are.”

― W. Somerset Maugham

#writing #writers #writeblr #writer's block #creative writing #funny #writing humor #writer problems #writer quotes #w. somerset maugham #w somerset maugham #oh no it's queue

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femmefatalegoth · 2 months

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Hyperspecific poll time! Best messed up woman from my favourite 1930s media

#w somerset maugham #agatha christie #and then there were none #and then there were none spoilers #womens wrongs #poll

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bliphany · 9 months

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“What do we any of us have but our illusions?

And what do we ask of others but that we be allowed to keep them?”

— W Somerset Maugham

#good omens #good fucking omens #ineffable husbands #good omens season 2 #michael sheen #michael just gave all those heartbreakingly beautiful stuff in interviews #did he write a fic using this quote tho #w somerset maugham #things i need waiting for good omens season 3 #save for a rainy day #our souls are made of stories

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howardhawkshollywoodannex · 8 months

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Edward Norton and Naomi Watts in The Painted Veil (2006), based on a 1925 novel by W Somerset Maugham. It was previously filmed in 1934 with Greta Garbo and Herbert Marshall. Herbert played Maugham in The Razors Edge (1946).

Maugham's entries among my best 1001 are Rain, Of Human Bondage, and The Razors Edge. The silent version of Rain, Sadie Thompson, with Gloria Swanson as Sadie is an honorable mention, as is Somewhere in the Night.

#edward norton #naomi watts #painted veil #w somerset maugham

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the-cricket-chirps · 4 months

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Graham Sutherland

Somerset Maugham

1949

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bubblesandpages · 10 months

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"Can any good come out of Galilee? No, I'm not a Catholic. I describe myself as a member of the Church of England, which, I suppose, is an inoffensive way of saying that you don't believe in anything very much.”

😭 😭 😭 😭 😭

#my apologies to all my favorite Christian blogs out there #WHY ISN'T THIS QUOTE ON GOODREADS?!#the painted veil #Fizzy talks #w somerset maugham #books

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pinkcupboardwitch · 7 months

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“I shrug my shoulders when people tell me that their first impressions of a person are always right. I think they must have small insight or great vanity. For my own part I find that the longer I know people the more they puzzle me: my oldest friends are just those of whom I can say that I don’t know the first thing about them.”

- W. Somerset Maugham, “A Friend In Need”

#w somerset maugham #pink reads

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dzgrizzle · 1 year

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From May 14, 2020: Last night I dreamed I went to after-church lunch with Barack Obama and the novelist Somerset Maugham. In the dream I was trying to think of some brilliant intellectual questions to ask them, but we ended up talking about music and books. Obama and I both talked about the last time we had each seen Amy Grant in concert. Somerset Maugham did not know who Amy Grant is, perhaps because he had died in 1965.

#dream #dreaming #Barack Obama #Obama #W Somerset Maugham #Somerset Maugham #Amy Grant

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stillunusual · 2 years

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It smells of freshly mown hay and spring flowers, of thyme and lavender, and it’s so soft on the palate and so comfortable, it’s like listening to music by moonlight.

W Somerset Maugham’s description of Żubrówka (bison grass vodka) in "The Razor’s Edge" (1944)

#żubrówka #zubrowka #vodka #quote #Poland #Polska #W Somerset Maugham #the razor’s edge

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dreams-of-mutiny · 2 years

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Nothing is more tedious than to talk with persons who treat your most obvious remarks as startling paradoxes and Edward suffered likewise from that passion for argument which is the bad talkers’ substitution for conversation. People who cannot talk are always proud of their dialectic. They want to modify your tritest observations and even if you suggest the day is fine, insist on arguing it out.

~ W. Somerset Maugham

#w somerset maugham #quotes

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tensionesuperficiale · 2 years

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#book #bookquote #books #quote #bookquotes #poem #poetry #libro #reading #read #leggere #lettura #w somerset maugham #novel #romanzo #love #amore #hurting #missing someone

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linusjf · 26 days

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W. Somerset Maugham: Imagination

English: W. Somerset Maugham British writer (Photo credit: Wikipedia) “Imagination grows by exercise, and contrary to common belief, is more powerful in the mature than in the young. ” —W. Somerset Maugham.

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#somerset maugham #W Somerset Maugham

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blackswaneuroparedux · 2 years

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As lovers, the difference between men and women is that women can love all day long, but men only at times.

- W. Somerset Maugham, The Moon and Sixpence

#w somerset maugham #somerset maugham #quote #literature #love #femme #men #character #human nature #nature of love

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lunasloveisgood · 2 months

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“To acquire the habit of reading is to construct for yourself a refuge from almost all the miseries of life.” — W. Somerset Maugham

#quotes #reading #w somerset maugham

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