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vampiretendencies · 1 year

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throw another stone at a glass house

request/summary; your writing literally gives me life. love it sm <3 would you be able to do something where jj and the reader get into an argument at dinner but they have a rule to never go to sleep mad at each other?

pairing; jj maybank x fem!reader

warnings; fluff & angst, maybe a bit suggestive

authors note; love loved writing this anon :,) pls continue to send in requests ! gif creds to owner

His cured blood was boiling— searing even.

Eatery being complacent, fairy bulbs roped neatly and whimsically throughout the establishment. Fake plastic plant leaves braided about the paneled open roof. The trimming on the tables simplistic and clothed white, any other vibrancy would clash with the modern elegance that was being established. Clammer from steel trays and the mouthy Kooks that JJ was rubbing elbows with.

His attire is classy to fit his false image— dapper wrinkle-free black button up: buttons done up until the narrowing of his chest, not too revealing, not too Pogue-like. Arms broad and fibrous, giving quite the show whilst they bulged and unbulged with every movement he made. Grey slacks, steamed specifically for this event, an absolute fool as to not recognizing himself cleaned up so pleasantly.

The amount of meals he missed simply for this one meal, to scrimp and scrape pennies together merely to see a joyous picture-perfect smile planted on your face.

And he hadn’t told you he was doing so, but for about around a month now he’s been saying ‘Got a special night for us in the works baby.’

You knew it was tonight and you knew the address.

It wasn’t a familiar one, no, the both of you, Pogues, and not having heard of such a lavish restaurant. Hell, JJ was even awestruck himself when he stepped foot in the door.

But to him it was showing you a glimpse into the future with him. The life he would scavenge to define, to escape the one he’s living in now.

Full Kook.

But, nevertheless a Pogue at heart.

With that being said, he cannot fathom as to why you wouldn’t be here.

As to why you wouldn’t be here basking in the night, with him.

As to what could possibly be any more revelation, right here.

“Sir, are you ready to order yet?”

The same lanky waiter, with a nasal like voice spoke— and the irritation of it made JJ’s skin crawl. His class bow tie, with upheld posture was something JJ cut his eyes at, interrupting his thoughts as he already done prior.

“I told you no the past three times, didn’t I?”

JJ bit back at the man, partially because he’d been to JJ’s table all those times within the span of twenty minutes, not to mention prior to when he’d arrived two hours ago. The waiters mouth turns up in disgust.

“M’waitin’ for my girl, alright?”

He proceeds to add, confirming again to not come back unless he proclaimed he was ready. A kind way of saying ‘fuck off’.

“We cannot continue to keep holding your table this long, there are other people waiting to eat.”

“I’ll call her.”

The waiter clicks his tongue, spinning on his heels to the rest of his section to serve. And JJ presses your contact in his phone, as he did thirty six calls ago— to be exact.

Pitiful, going straight to voice mail, beating organ falling straight to his half-cut boot clad feet.

Pissed, seeing to it that he should be. All this money, all this devotion, only for it to go to waste due to you not being on time?

JJ would give his soul away not feel this.

On the verge of flipping over this table and making a scene just for shits and giggles, or to cope.

The reason you were late was anonymous to him. A slumber took over you, sleeping in later than usual after work, exhausted in that shared apartment. Forgetting to charge your phone, all events that pushed you farther and farther behind. Remnants leaving you pressed to get ready for the event, all whilst having to catch a ride from Kie.

One would probably wonder why JJ simply didn’t wait for you to get ready and just drive you to the surprise himself. He was too adamant, prying on the idea that, even appearance would be a remembrance factor.

Small heels colliding with cement in a clack sound, digits on the iron knob studying the building once more, to assure yourself this location was right.

Pulled straight out of a dream.

And you prodded on the thought of JJ affording this, the effort that went into it. Wondering why he thought he had to spend so much just on you, yet impressed with your boyfriend— if only you knew the sheer devastation upon him.

The red lacey satin of your dress was enough to turn heads and you did just that, strutting whimsically to the front podium to be sat at the table with JJ. Every Kook eye studied you, but you spotted one head of hair in particular. Sat in a dainty wooden chair that caused his back to be turned to you.

Numerous round tables, purely yearning for just that one.

That one with the unearthly being; light locks dancing over his features, and a jawline fierce enough to cut paper.

The one that’s battling with himself as to wether or not to make a big deal out of this, the moment he saw you next.

Little did he know you were feet away, gawking at him and the entirely ethereal gesture he did for you.

Jesus, he looks so fucking hot.

Dapper.

Heat growing on his neck whilst he feels a shadow standing over him, he continues to play with the given metal utensils in front of him.

Perhaps the knife grazing past his fingertips, would pain much less than the ache of disappointment surging in him.

He almost, turns to face the shadow preparing to tell the waiter off. But as his sense receptors fill with that familiar warm vanilla scent ...

He doesn't.

He doesn't because he knows it's you.

And he's gathering himself for the argument that's about to ensue.

Did JJ want to fuss and fight with you?

Absolutely not, he avoids confrontation at any given moment.

However, he is also human and can only take so much.

Your graceful hand stretches over his flexed back, tensing up at a touch that would normally lull him away into no tomorrow. Blue orbs daggering into your figure overtop his eyelashes, clearing his throat at your presence. Your chair scratched along the patterned wooden floor, a notion JJ always does; pulling your chair out.

This time, you do it with no complaints; declaring to avoid the subject at hand. Acknowledging that you were in deep shit with your lover.

That exact lover teaching you so: deny, deny, deny.

And God, that dress is hugging you so tight his hairs stand up on his neck. Alluring and sensual.

If he wasn't so fucking livid, he'd rile himself up enough to temper delicate, mouth-biting, love marks to your neck.

Over

And over

Again.

Until he got his fill.

You're supposed to be mad at her, JJ thought to himself.

"Hi, J!"

His insides rumbled as if he ate sour food.

But, no food would be eaten tonight.

"Hey."

His tone laced with malice and defeat. The worse kind of greeting, not the usual 'baby' or 'pretty girl' attached to it.

Then you knew were in for it.

"Thank you for tonight, s'so pretty baby."

Reading you, he knew you were probably thinking how he managed to get a table here. But something this polite, it was uncalled for to ask such a question.

"Yeah, it was prettier earlier."

He muttered under his breath, with his face contorting into a frown. Across the table yet so far away, the bright light of the eatery highlighting his cheek bones so handsomely. And you longed for him to be, himself.

"What'd you say?"

His words unclear, he was someone that usually has a voice prominent enough to hear from miles away; so it couldn't have been anything loving.

"Nothin'."

Accent think and harsh, eye contact here and there, though it wasn't anything promising.

"Gonna' have to fix your face J, it might ruin the night."

You gasped out a laugh, but to JJ it wasn't fucking funny.

If he wanted to glower, then he'd do so and he meant it.

How dare you joke about something he busted his ass to do, money that could've been enough to pay the apartments rent that month.

He thought you were being ungrateful and that you didn't appreciate him.

First you were behind time, and now you're laughing in his damn face beating around the obvious bush that was weighing him down.

And he can't help himself.

"No ... you ruined the Goddamn night!" He spat, voice broad and demanding, through grit teeth. Knowing that if he spoke any louder the couple would be asked to leave.

He's disgusted with you for being so careless with his feelings.

A night that was supposed to be filled with desperate, needy touches, and bellies full of the finest food; JJ could find it coming to a halt.

You grew ansty in your seat at his remark, lungs missing air and guilt replaced it.

Remorse entering your features.

Falling apart at the cause of his disfunction being you.

"I didn't mean to, JJ."

You reach for his hand across the table, veins apparent and digits long; in effort to console him for your mishap of being extremely late. And he lets you interlock your finger with his upsettingly, though he waited for that same touch all night; unable to deny any touch from you.

To get his point across, he lets go.

"But, you did."

He corrected you with a tilt of his head, replacing your missing fingers with a comb through his hair.

"I-I overslept after work ... and-"

"That's such bullshit. Do you know how many long hours I worked for tonight? Just for you to not be here?"

The palm of his hand slams against the table, drawing the attention of the couple next to the two. You hurriedly shush him, bringing his anger back down to earth.

"M'trying to say sorry JJ."

Both sets of eyes glare at eachother as if in competition, and JJ's stomach whirls.

"I don't want a sorry, I wanted you to be here."

"Well ... well, I'm here now. We can still order, J."

You try again but ultimately fail.

"M'not sitting here with you and pretending like everything's 'dandy', when you fucked everything up."

His words were cold and emotionless. You search for everything to say, but all that JJ said clarified it for you. Your sullen heart thumped, salty tears brimming at corners of your eyes.

Making you feel small.

Fighting to prevent them, so you didn’t fall apart in the middle of this restaurant.

“C’mon, let’s go.”

He wasn’t cruel, not enough away, to leave you here with no way back to the shared home.

No matter how big the fight or the cause of it, it always left JJ wondering if you still besotted him the way he did you.

He wondered why, altogether going with the fact that nothing was ever permanent in his life,

Did you still crave him— on your lips, in your lungs, and beneath your skin?

One way to describe the ride home was— sickeningly tense.

Amid his rage, his hand clutches the wheel so tight that his knuckles turned white. Stealing glances at you, hoping you didn’t hate him. Neither of them able to etch a sentence, whilst the radio played and you sat turned with your knees to the door staring out of the window.

Oddly close enough to your position now.

On the edge of your side of the bed. Admiring JJ peel off his pants and unbutton his shirt, leaving them aimlessly on the carpeted floor— stripped down to his only boxers.

You’d thought you wouldn’t get much comfort tonight, being that he avoided even still after arriving home. Mustering a ‘gonna’ pick up the kitchen’, knowing full well it was only to an excuse to not be up under you while you both were overstimulated and on edge. Leaving you to get the bed ready and practice your night time routine. That’s why you are in the pajama attire of JJ’s t-shirt, his musk still attached to it.

His flesh on fire, conscious that you were boring at him.

‘When you fucked everything up,’ stung your chest and tainted your mind.

Reflecting, he’d wished he would’ve cut you some slack.

His baby, that he hoped for on nights when he had no one.

He baby, that he hoped for on every shooting star.

His baby, that he hoped for in a crowd of people.

His baby.

There was this rule book.

This rule book, was true and real, and contained all the expectations you and JJ had for eachother being together. It was for numerous reasons to begin with, but a year passed by and another and they fully became implicated.

The rule book was a thin black note book, adorned with two red pairs of lips. One was yours, and one was JJ’s— having put red lipstick on his puckered lips, afterwards staining your entire face with them.

Painting your face with his desire for you.

And still that notebook remains framed in the living room, just above the TV.

Rule #1: Never go to sleep mad at eachother.

It was in big, chunky black letters— JJ wrote it and with every letter he wrote he meant it more. One would think cheating would be at the top of the list— but that wasn’t a worry.

It wasn’t a concern because if JJ could inject you into his veins he would do just that.

And so would you.

Opening up his heart to you was not a thing he’d ever regret doing.

Letting himself become infatuated with you, and letting you treat him the way he deserved to be.

You’d silently prayed that JJ would enforce the rule tonight, seeing as even though you did fuck up, you had reason to be irate as well.

His feet pad against the khaki carpet to switch off the bedroom lights. Miscellaneous TV show, playing whilst it illuminated his appearance. He made a b-line for his side of the bed, queen size engulfing him. And you did the same, twisting to lie in bed next to him, but not right beside him.

Lying the exact same— backs flat against the black silk sheets, duvet pulled up past either arms. Pairs of eyes darting at the the other. Except JJ’s left arm is behind his head, the muscle fissuring with ease as it grooved forward from the small glance you got. His right arm is the one closest to you, flat in the open space between the two.

He doesn’t know what to do.

He doesn’t know how to lay.

He is so use to having skin on skin contact, but now he’s lying alone and deprived of your touch.

And you would initiate but you quiver at being denied again.

“Y’know you can’t go to sleep yet.”

His raspiness booms and echoes off the walls, causing you to jump in the slightest. Still continuing to look forward at the cinema before him, you bore into him with furrowed eyebrows— head turning on the firm pillow.

“How come?”

His insides fluttered at your melodic and rhythmically put together voice.

He’s still scolding to the touch, but realizing his tad of unreasonableness consumes him. Turning to his side, he faces you, an everlasting lump in his throat.

“Rule number one-“

“Never go to bed mad at eachother.”

You finish his sentence, and his mouth is partially open. Heartbeat becoming deathly, hands clammy at him bringing the rule book up. He remembered.

He remembered it all.

“So can we stop being mad?”

He pleads, voice cracking in the slightest.

Giving himself to you in every way possible.

Vulnerability only amendable when he’s near you.

Enchanted and explicitly, letting you suck his soul in.

And he didn’t care.

“I was never mad at you J, you were mad at me.”

Solely, truthful acknowledging that you couldn’t be viled at him chewing you out at dinner. Feeling like you deserved every bit of it.

“I s-shouldnt have said that, baby m’sorry.”

His lone hand encapsules your shoulder, the pet name leaving his mouth smoothly, a part of his everyday vocabulary. You crane your neck to place small pecks to each one of his knuckles, showing each one more attention than the last.

“S’okay, I get it J.”

“Just wanted us to have tonight, for us.”

“I ruined it, I know-“

“Nothing’s ruined … we still have us.”

His head lowers, lips puckering in the faintest way. Softly pressing with yours, all whilst enveloping you closer into his frame. An embrace his sore body hungered for. Tongue delving into your mouth, molding together like puzzle pieces. Angrily kissing to make up for the love lost today, he hummed at the comforting sensation.

“And m’not letting go of that, baby.”

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miinatozakiii · 1 month

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are we still friends? (can we be friends?)

minatozaki sana x fem!reader ; fluff, angst

synopsis: seeing sana again during christmas causes feelings to resurface

warnings: food ; alcohol ; datzu crumbs ; cursing ; proofread halfway bc i got lazy + grammar and spelling errors probably

a/n: how to write angst?? am i cooked?? (I'm cooked) ALSO I wrote this in December so a lonnnngg time ago like when I touched the doc for the first time two days ago it said last edited 12/30/23 T-T

“y/n! come help with the decorations, it a bit tough to reach.” your mom calls out from the entrance.

pausing in your place, you turn to respond to her, “i’ll be there in a bit, let me finish mixing everything.”

“okay honey. make sure to wear a coat when you get out here, it’s chilly!” she yells back before closing the door.

a giggle leaves your lips as you continue to sift the dry ingredients, trying not to spill the flour and sugar. when you’re done with a part of your cookie process, you wash your hands and throw on your puffer jacket before heading out to help your mom.

christmas is in four days and your mom has this annual thing where she throws a big party at your place every christmas eve. she invites all her friends who are back in town—some even fly out to come to this big event—and it goes on until the concerningly late hours of the night.

your mom didn’t get to throw this big party last year because she was terribly sick, so you missed it that time, but now she’s so back.

this means you’re in charge of the baking (yet again) and also helping her out everywhere. it’s not that you don’t enjoy this, if anything you look forward to this event—just not this year, it won’t be the same as the previous christmas parties.

your mom has this friend who moved in five minutes away from your house when you were twelve, and they had a daughter your age. of course, both your mothers found a way to get you guys to meet, and eventually, you’d be spending the majority of your middle and high school years together stuck by the hip.

her name was minatozaki sana; she was the first person you had fallen in love with inside and out.

she had this type of vibrance to her that spread through her surroundings like a bullet train. if the room was dim, it’d seem like she had brought a piece of the sun inside just by being there, instantly illuminating it. it was palpable that she had her flaws, everyone did, but with the way she held herself up and gave her all, you’d see right past her imperfections and into that warm heart of hers.

sana expected nothing and appreciated everything, that’s what made her lips curl up into a contagious grin. the streaks of creased skin in the corner of her eyes as she flashed that toothy grin gave everyone the intimation that she was simply overjoyed to be able to have the ability to love and to care. she was so beautiful in the way she found adoration so enticing, and that’s why you had fallen in love with her.

your years with her passed by quickly, each year was filled with vibrant memories that led you to fall even deeper into her charm. however, you never mustered up the courage to tell her how you really felt toward her, and by the time you had gotten close to spilling out your pent up feelings; sana had found herself a little boyfriend.

chris was some guy on the basketball team—who was also a bit short and lacking skill to even make the team—he was an arrogant, pretentious, and egotistical snob who managed to win sana’s heart. how did he do this? who knows, everyone who’s interacted with him either hates his guts or is in love with his pathetic self.

he was only nice around sana, but you had seen him when he wasn’t pretending like there wasn't a stick up his ass. he was below the bare minimum and that’s how you’d describe him, he was nowhere near sana’s league. if anything, maybe you were just jealous (and that you were), but you knew what kind of person deserved sana—chris was not someone who deserved a wonderful woman like her.

that asshole managed to win sana’s heart and keep it for half of junior year and all of senior year of high school, then he managed to convince her to go to a college that was a five-hour flight away from home—and by the way, your town was a two-hour drive from a well-known, top notch university, one that you and sana agreed to go to when you were both in middle school.

there was no way you’d let sana go to that college, not when chris was the reason she was going. it was a school that wasn’t even comparable to the one not so far from home, the one that had significant alumni and programs fit for the both of you. sana could easily win a decent scholarship to the university you’ve been dreaming of going to, but she was going to let him change her mind in a matter of seconds.

there was no way you’d let that happen, so you simply walked over to her house and stormed up to her room after seeing her text regarding this whole plan, a fool’s plan.

you remember the argument that shattered your friendships in seconds, almost like it was yesterday.

“sana, you can’t just go to that school because of chris. look, i’m saying this as your friend and because i love you: he’s not all that, and the uni nearby has great health programs, they’re ten times better than the school over there and you know it.” you argue.

you’re pacing around the room that you and sana have had countless late-night conversations and sleepovers in, the place where you had done more for sana than chris did. your eyes land on the two strips of laminated paper that hold the memory of the time you two had gone to the photobooth on your sixteenth birthday, your brows crease at the sight of your cheeks squished with sana’s as the two of you posed. a heavy breath makes your lungs shrink as you exhale.

“i can’t let you do this, not for him sana.”

“but i love him so much y/n, you know this. he promised we could stay in an apartment together and that everything would be perfect, we have a whole future planned and i—”

“what about us sana?” you cut her off, voice breaking slightly. “what about our future? we promised that we’d go to that uni together, what happened to that? you’re going to throw it away for him?”

“you’re being ridiculous y/n, we were thirteen! things change and you need to grow up, look—”

“we’ve known each other since elementary school and you’re throwing away this opportunity for a guy whose grades are falling apart. not only that, he’s a fucking ass! you’ve come crying and complaining to me more times than i can count on my left hand.” you respond angrily, and much louder than you meant to.

sana looks at you in disbelief, her expression almost carrying some sort of disappointment or disgust. she scoffs and you feel your heart shatter just from hearing it, this isn’t like her at all.

“if you were so fucking annoyed by my misery then you could’ve told me,” she responds harshly, water lining her eyes.

“sana that’s not what i—"

“you’re supposed to be my best friend, always there for me and to support me. now look at you, what happened to that? can’t you be happy for me and chris? i seriously love him and all you’ve been is mopey and bitchy whenever he’s around.”

“i know more people that have treated you better than him. he’s an asshole sana, it’s clear as day and even dahyun agrees.”

her eyes meet the floor and she says in a smaller voice, “i love him y/n, and he loves me.”

not like i love you, never will he love you like that.

your features soften as you look at her. “sana you can’t—”

“get out of my room.” sana spits in a stinging tone that’s worse than a dagger to your heart. she shakes her head then turns to avoid your gaze and your heart completely shatters as you watch a tear slide down her cheek in the process. “get out of my house, i don’t want to hear it.”

“sana,” you begin, but when you hear her sniffle, you hold back everything that’s burning in your chest. your shoulders give up and sink in defeat before you croak out an “okay.”

turning around, you step out of her bedroom with a heavy heart and trembling lips. tears stream down your cheeks as you make your way out of the house where sana and you had spent countless hours together—hours that you’d never forget no matter how hard you tried.

each breath you take is visible in the cold air and snow compresses with each step you take whilst hanging up the christmas lights. your mother smiles once you pin the last string up and then you take a step back to admire the illuminating pattern of diverse hues beaming when your mom presses the “on” button.

“thank you again honey, i appreciate it.” your mom says, holding your hand and squeezing it gently.

you turn and smile at her, shaking your head before responding, “anytime mom.”

the two of you enter the house again and immediately you’re on your way back to the kitchen to finish up your famous cookies. you three different types of cookies: chocolate chip cookies (the fastest batch to be eaten), matcha cookies with white chocolate chips, and ube cookies—sana’s favorites.

“ube? what’s that?” sana says, giggling softly as you hand her a purple cookie with white chocolate chunks.

“just try it sana, you’ll love it.” you assure, urging her to try. “it’s purple too, how could you not?”

she rolls her eyes at you then picks up the sweet treat, taking a bite of the cookie. it’s crunchy on the outside and perfectly soft on the inside, making her shoulders sink down and eyes close when the new, thrilling flavor meets her tastebuds.

“so, how is it?” you ask, raising your brows. sana simply smiles and nods, shooting a dorky thumbs up before taking another bite.

“it’s wonderful, it’s like coconut and nutty and has vanilla and oh my gosh it’s so… it’s really good.” she sighs, melting as she consumes your baked good. she looks adorable.

you laugh at her response and take a bite of your own experiment, eyes widening at how good they were. sana was right, they’re wonderful.

“ah the purple cookies, those were a hit ever since you started making them.” your mom says, rubbing your back. she looks at you with some pity, knowing about your little falling out with sana.

you simply smile and nod. “i like them, i was going to save some for myself too.” you joke, easing some tension in the air.

“well, i’m going to call your dad up, go visit the kim’s later and tell them i said hi.” your mom insists, placing a twenty dollar bill on the marble counter. “heard they have a holiday latte out, you should try it. dahyun’s also been experimenting with her baking and beverages, she gets better each time i visit.”

“of course she is,” you chuckle lightheartedly, “let me just finish these last cookies and i’ll put them in the fridge for a bit. did you want anything from their place?”

“no, it’s fine. oh wait! i have a present for dahyun’s mom, can you give her this if she’s there?” she asks.

“mhm,” you hum, “just put it near my bag on the couch.”

“thanks sweetie, i’ll do that.” your mother beams, then rushes towards her room to grab whatever it was that she needed.

ring

the sound of the bell chimes throughout the café—which is not too busy other than the elderly group in the corner and a student typing away at their computer to the side. you catch sight of the familiar face, instantly grinning when you walk towards the register.

dahyun is turned away from you and cleaning the espresso machine, wiping it down and yelling a “welcome! feel free to check out the holiday pastries and beverages!” without turning towards you.

you laugh and speak up, “it’s nice to see you miss know-it-all.” and upon hearing your voice dahyun instantly turns around, beaming a bright grin and setting her rag down.

“y/n? you didn’t tell me you were in town? what the hell where were you last year?” she questions, walking out from behind the counter and then towards you to greet you with a warm hug. she smells like coffee grinds and cinnamon, you hug her back and smile.

“i was deathly sick last year, like seriously fighting for my life. i didn’t tell you?”

“no stupid, you didn’t.” she sighs, then pulls away to look at you. “i’ve only seen your instagram posts, haven’t seen you in a bit and wow… you look better than in the pictures.”

“thank you?” you giggle before she walks over to return back behind the register. “i’ve also seen your instagram… who’s that girl you’ve been posting? got a girl and didn’t fill me in with the details?” you pry, smirking cheekily.

“oh, tzu… gosh y/n we have so much to talk about, i’m glad you’re back in town.” dahyun says appreciatively, and you don’t miss the slight pink that dusts on her cheeks before she starts again, “let’s talk over some coffee. what can i get you? on the house by the way. we have like, thirty minutes before a bunch of people start piling in.”

a giggle leaves your lips again before you decide on a peppermint mocha. dahyun gets to work and weighs out the coffee grins as you situate yourself to the side, watching her work her magic.

the two of you catch up on what’s been going on with college, dahyun’s love life that you’ve missed out on, and what you’ve been up to yourself. twenty minutes pass and you’ve both ended up on some old memory that has the two of you laughing like idiots again, making both your stomachs hurt.

“so… we’ve talked about what’s been going on with me… what about you and your love life? bet you’ve met a girl too.” dahyun interrogates with a teasing tone.

“oh, well—” you begin, awkwardly staring at the cup in your hand. “i dated this girl for a while, but we ended up falling out and staying friends, nothing much… we just weren’t right for each other.”

“i see…” dahyun responds, holding herself back from bringing up the sensitive topic—or, well, person.

dahyun was aware of the falling out as well, but still stayed friends with sana. however, she was your friend before she met sana, so she had made sure if it was alright to keep contact and whatnot. of course you didn’t want your own personal problems to get in between other friendships, and you still loved sana despite everything that had happened so you gave dahyun the green light.

after running to dahyun the same night of the argument with sana, you cried for an hour or two in her room. this was the first time you turned to someone other than sana, and dahyun had been on your side of the whole situation, making it easier to comfort and reassure you. she also disliked chris, but not as much as she liked you.

she pretty much agreed with everything you had ranted about and thought it was stupid that sana would rather choose that asshole over someone like you, and later on you’d confess that you were in love with sana to dahyun. when everything had been rocky with sana, dahyun had been by your side, and you were grateful for that.

“well, maybe you’ll land yourself a kiss under the mistletoe, who knows who’ll be showing up to your christmas party.” dahyun nudges you, smiling as she hands you some peppermint chocolate bark treat. “i could always set you up~”

“it’s fine, really.” you guarantee. a smile spreads across your face and you dismiss her offer with a wave of your hand. “um, by the way… has um, has she stopped by or anything like that recently? does sana still visit—"

there’s another ring from the door opening that cuts you off, making dahyun’s attention redirect towards the customer walking in. her eyes widen and she pauses in place before smiling awkwardly, then she mumbles an uneasy “um, be back…” before walking over to the register.

you don’t think much of her weird mood shift and instead swirl around the small remainder of coffee in the latte cup.

“hi dahyun! it’s nice to see you again.” a voice beams.

you freeze in place, all of your body tensing up as soon as the familiar voice processes through your ears. it’s smooth, it’s sweet, and it has that same high-pitched ring and giggle that follows. immediately, your heartbeat spikes and you’re doing anything you can to avoid interacting or even looking in the woman’s direction.

“it’s nice to see you too sana,” dahyun greets with a bubbly tone. the name being uttered from dahyun’s mouth is enough to make your hands grip the cup in your hand a little tighter. “can i get you anything?”

“hm… i’ll have that peppermint mocha please. i’m also going to take a look around the bakery, i need to grab some treats for others. you know how it is, holidays and whatnot.” sana says in that adorable tone, it has you falling for her all over again just when you thought you’d gotten over everything that’s happened.

quickly, you finish the last sip of your coffee before setting the empty cup down abruptly. it makes a small yet noticeable sound with the glass plate it had been sitting on, making sana advert her gaze.

the small gift you had set down beside you is now placed on the glass that covers the display of christmas themed cakes. dahyun looks at you in confusion and tilts her head before you turn to smile at her, avoiding sana’s widening eyes.

“thanks for the coffee dahyun, take the present on the glass to your mom—it’s from my mom to yours.” you start, trying to keep your voice level

every ounce of restraint and discipline is fighting back the urge to simply glance at sana, who’s standing right in front of dahyun. you almost manage to avoid her, but it’s inevitable, your eyes land on your first love for the first time in almost two years.

she’s looking at you with parted lips and surprise, but she still looks as beautiful as you remember. sana looks a little more mature than when you last saw her; the curve of her jaw is sharper, lips somehow brighter and her features are more defined overall. sana is wearing a scarf that fits around her neck comfortably, a brown, fluffy sweater, and dark sweatpants with uggs to compliment the outfit. there’s simplicity in her look—she’s jaw dropping, the sight of her makes your jaw tighten and heartbeat spike.

her eyes meet yours for exactly three seconds, enough time to have every memory flowing in.

clearing your throat, you finish your farewell to dahyun with a smile, “i’ll see you around, my mom says hi to your mom, tell her i also said hi too. i’ll get going now, have a good one.”

your body doesn’t fight back the urge to glance at sana again—big mistake—before turning around and walking out the door.

sana keeps her look on you the whole time, baffled to see you here and her own heart yearns for you. she’s missed you more than you’d ever know, and more than she’d like to admit. it doesn’t help her case that you’re ten times more attractive than when she’d last seen you at graduation.

“you should talk to her.” dahyun says softly. sana keeps her eye on the door, you’re already out and probably in your car, but she keeps her eye on the door still.

“were you talking to her earlier?” sana asks, now turning to face the younger woman.

“we were catching up.” dahyun answers. the woman behind the register turns around to start making sana’s drink, unknowingly the same drink you had ordered. it all makes dahyun’s own heart sink in her chest a bit. “how long has it been since you’ve talked to her?”

“since graduation.” sana explains, looking down at the counter. “i messed up.”

dahyun turns around again to see sana, sorrow and regret etching into her features. the barista frows and reaches over to place her hand on sana’s shoulder, then rubs it gently.

“talk to her, there’s always time to fix things. especially with y/n.”

a few days past since that meeting, you’re still shaken up from it to say the least.

sana is too, but you aren’t aware of that.

to stray away from this event that is dreadfully close to leading to some form of existential crisis or spiral, you’re helping your mom out with setting up the last few decorations and tables while your cookies that you chilled a couple days ago bake.

dahyun is also coming over with her girlfriend in the evening to exchange a couple of greetings and to properly introduce her girlfriend tzuyu to you. your mother had met tzuyu before and talked highly about her, so you were excited to meet her yourself.

when the time comes, you hear a knock at the door and shoot up to answer it. you open the door and dahyun stands there with a nervous grin on her face. next to her stands tzuyu—and sana.

your eyes widen and your jaw tenses when you see her perfect face, standing next to tzuyu with this awkward smile. she’s wearing a gray pullover and black sweatpants; an orange scarf also wraps around her neck comfortably. she looks snug and cute as ever, no matter what she’s adorable in your eyes. your heart flutters and you get all nervous like a teenager again.

pushing away the edginess flowing throughout your whole being, you greet dahyun with a warm hug, then give tzuyu and friendly one as well. you’re not sure how to greet sana, being all shaken up by just her presence, so you resort to a smile and a small “hi sana,” then invite them all in.

sana walks in and her hand brushes against your arm on accident, the two of you definitely notice it—though you both decide to ignore it and the warmth in your chests.

your mom greets all the girls with a hug and the five of you sit down in your homey living room. sana sits across from you on the couch next to your mom, and you sit there avoiding eye contact as you all catch up.

an hour passes by and dahyun is over in the living room talking to your mom about what’s been going on with her parents and the bakery. in the meantime, you decide to give yourself a break from feeling all nervous just by being near sana.

standing up, you announce, “i’m going to the kitchen for a bit.” your mom simply raises her brows at your sudden departure, you’ve been silent for most of the conversation and it seems like you’re the only one affected by the tension in the room. “won’t be long.” you add, smiling weakly.

the fridge is still full of some essentials, and to the side, there’s some cold brew and your favorite coconut milk; everything you need is right where you need it. you head over to the counter and grab your favorite glass cup, heart stinging at the memory of when you had received it. it was one of the many gifts from sana.

you grab some ice and put it in the cup, then add your cold brew inside. then you grab a small cup with some honey and search for a spoon so you can mix it in with the coconut milk.

“drinking coffee at this time?” a voice says, making you freeze. you break out of your short trance and hum in response before continuing to make your drink.

“you know i can’t resist a good coffee, sana.” and the way her name slips off your tongue feels right. you haven’t said it often since the falling out and it still rolls off perfectly, it feels right coming from you. you’re hesitant to talk again, feeling her eyes drill into your back. something in your heart shifts and you manage to ask, “did you want something to drink?”

“yeah,” she answers, walking over to you and sitting at the kitchen island. “same thing you’re drinking, but sweeter.”

of course she wants it sweet, just like always.

“okay.”

your back is still turned towards sana and she watches you grab another glass. as you do so, she gets a glimpse of your own glass and smiles. “is that the cup i got you?”

still fixing up her drink, you nod and answer, “yeah. it’s my favorite.”

“a lot of your gifts are my favorites too.” she admits, her voice so soft and fragile that you’re scared the thick tension in the air might break it.

sana watches you turn around, but you still avoid her gaze. you place both cups on the surface of the kitchen island and begin to pour the coconut milk mixtures into the coffee. the liquids swirl as they combine, creating a satisfying view. sana’s quick to redirect her attention back to you, staring at your face again.

last time she had saw you at dahyun’s cafe, she only had the chance to get a simple glance at your features, not enough time to fully take in everything that’s changed about your apperance. there’s two new piercings on both ears and a new, small tattoo below your ear; the length of your hair is also noticeably longer. your lips part as you swirl both cups in your hands around, and then you take a quick glance to the side, allowing sana to admire your side profile and the unique curve of your nose and lips.

you hold the mug out for her and finally meet her eyes again. sana’s favorite thing about you were your eyes, they’re still as pretty as she remembers.

it’s some thursday night during your sophomore year of high school, you were supposed to be studying with sana for your math quiz tomorrow, but she had other ideas.

“stay still,” sana mumbles softly.

she situates you in the chair near her desk and tilts your head up with the fingers holding your chin. she’s inches away from you as she puts some sort of sponge on your face, brows creasing as she does so. your heart is racing.

after a couple of minutes, sana finishes up your makeup. she’s done some type of natural look on you, nothing too heavy or bold. you look at yourself through the mirror and take a moment to examine sana’s doings. as you do so, sana can’t keep her eyes off you.

something in her heart shifts as she admires you. her eyes land on your lips, they’re oddly alluring, and sana’s cheeks burn.

“sana you’re staring… do i look weird?”

“no,” she practically breathes out, mouth slightly agape. “you’re beautiful.” she says breathlessly, her expression turning all serious it makes you giggle awkwardly.

there have been many moments where sana has found you pretty, not just physically. your small gifts and reassurance have made her heart flutter, but she’s always figured that was just because she loved you deeply as a friend. but when you stare at her with those eyes in this moment, she’s so surprised by everything she feels. she's giddy and happy and warm inside and gosh her heart wants to jump out her chest and cling onto you. she's not opposed to the feeling; she always has this feeling aorunf you and she loves it. that's why she’s always around you in the first place.

her face burns and you’re gazing at her all confused, you look so cute.

growing nervous from how non-verbal sana has been, you try to shake her out of her trance. “hey, you’re scaring me. earth to sana? hellooooo…?”

“how are you so pretty all the time.” sana’s eyes soften and her whole body relaxes as she rests her head on her palm. “like, your face is so perfect and your eyes… god y/n, whoever gets to be with you would be so lucky, seriously. like, you’re honestly the prettiest girl in our school, how do you not have a boyfriend?”

your cheeks flush from the abrupt compliment, so you push her gently and giggle. sana giggles along with you, still star-struck. you’re both young and unknowingly in love with each other—giggles and teasing seem to be the only way to hide that.

sana has always found you attractive, after all these years she still hasn’t figured out why she made the mistake of pursuing chris instead of the person who was always there for her—and ten times prettier. you’ve always been right there, she’s a fool for looking right past you.

sana grabs the mug, still making eye contact with you and both your eyes soften at the same time.

“y/n i’m sorry.” she says immediately, “i messed up really bad and—”

“sana,” you cut her off, “just enjoy the drink.” she watches you smile at her, it’s genuine and small, still enough to calm her nerves. you grab your glass and walk towards the door to the porch, tilting your head and urging her to come follow. sana figures she could pour her heart out later, if it were on the porch it wouldn’t be the first time she’s poured out her emotions there.

the two of you find a seat across from each other, the fairy lights above create some type of ambiance to ease the tension that’s hanging in the air like an invisible cloak of some sort, suffocating the two of you with its unease.

“how have you been?” sana asks. it’s cliché, but what else was she supposed to say?

you don’t look up from the drink in your hand when you respond, “good, you?”

“likewise.” sana lies, her jaw clenching.

“you know,” you begin, and with intent, your eyes meet her face and she’s doing the same as you had been doing before; she simply sits there with the drink in her hand, looking quite on edge. “i figured if i were to see you again like this, chris would be with you.”

“we broke up three months after we moved in together.” sana says quietly, “i broke up with him.”

“sana…” you mumble quietly, surprised to say the least. “why— what?”

“i ruined everything between you and i because i was so blinded by his affection, i couldn’t stay with him anymore with guilt clawing at me.” she explains, her voice breaking slightly. “and i couldn’t bring myself to talk to you after hurting you. losing you was the biggest mistake of my life. god, it took everything in me to come back to you.”

“you never lost me sana,”

“i’m just… sorry for everything, i really am.” she says sincerely, “and i don’t think enough words could really explain how sorry i am.”

you look at her with pity, and despite her coldness towards you during the last semester of your senior year, you decide to let everything go. she’s your best friend after all, you promised yourself to be there.

“it’s okay.” you say, it’s not the truth, but it’s not a lie either. “it was my fault too for letting the distance between us get larger.”

“don’t say that, it’s not your fault.” sana sighs. she takes a sip of the coffee, it’s good, of course— everything you’ve ever made for her has been great. “i only stayed with chris because i was scared. that’s why it was so easy for me to leave everyone i loved behind, i think.”

“scared? …of what?”

she looks dead into your eyes and exhales, “i realized that, that maybe i was with chris because i was trying to push down how i felt about you.”

you tilt your head in confusion, then begin to pry, “sana what do you mean—"

“y/n, i was falling for you and it terrified me. i mean, i loved you, and honestly, i think i still do. i'm so fucking dumb, god i'm just oblivious.” sana says, then immediately, your heart rate spikes and your brows raise. she continues while fidgeting with her fingers, “i guess it’s easier to admit now because we’ve grown distant, and physically we’re distant enough. chris treated me alright and loved me, but i came crying to you all the time because he never treated me like how i wanted you to treat me, i don’t know why i did that. i don’t know why i let myself go through that when i had you. every time i’d kiss him i wished it were you, every time we did anything honestly.”

sana's eyes shimmered with unshed tears, their glossy shine failing to hide the immense emotions she was desperately trying to suppress. the weight of her confession hung in the air, causing the entire world to momentarily freeze. it felt as though time itself had paused, giving you a moment to absorb the magnitude of her words.

sana loved you, and she still does. you loved her, and you still do.

but really, you can’t. you can’t go through with this. it’s too sudden, so unorganized and uncertain.

all of this is a recipe for disaster.

the echo of her vulnerability reverberated through the atmosphere, your mind spun in a cyclone of emotions. thoughts collided and collided again like football players during some game, leaving your head in a dizzying state of confusion, the sheer intensity of it all was jarring, leaving you all disoriented. the feelings you suppressed were finding their way back out, and you found yourself teetering on the precipice of vulnerability once again, just as you did years ago.

finding out that sana loved you still gave you hope, but the revelation also made you uneasy. it had been too long without sana, and so much had happened, so there was the chance that things would be all rocky. besides, it’s just too sudden.

“i’m— sorry for dumping all of this, i just wanted to give you closure because… well, i should’ve given you it years ago.” a tear streams down her eye as she says this, and then she begins to stand. “i should leave, i’m sorry for not letting you know i was coming— god i’m so sorry.”

“sana wait—” you start, grabbing her wrist. she looks into your eyes, her’s are still glossy. you decide it’s better to let her go for now, unsure if this is the last time you’ll see her after this—hopefully not. “it’s okay, just… be careful. you know i’m always here, always sha.”

the nickname that you made up for her makes her heart crack a little, she can only smile back at you for now.

—

the conversation between dahyun, tzuyu, and your mom is interrupted when dahyun catches the sight of sana pulling her scarf off the hook and wrapping it around her neck again. she takes account of the slight flush of her nose and cheeks, as well as her water-lined eyes.

“you’re leaving?” dahyun asks, concern clear in her tone. sana simply smiles and nods, “yeah, i’ll see you at the holiday party. it was nice seeing you too miss l/n, i missed all of this.”

“you’re always welcome honey,” your mother assures, “where’s y/n?”

“out on the porch, she said she’ll be back in a bit. i’ll see you all, thank you.” sana says before departing, leaving the three women in the living room perplexed.

a few minutes later whilst the three in the living room conjure up theories of what had happened while you and sana had been gone—you appear with a blank expression. you sit down next to your mom and lean against her, not saying a word.

tzuyu (who is only briefly caught up with whatever had happened between you and sana, and she deinfitely needs a thorough presentation on your history) looks at dahyun and tilts her head, dahyun simply shakes her own head.

“sana and i talked a bit, resolved and made things clear.” you say, answering the elephant in the room. “i’m heading up, i’m getting sleepy and i want to have some energy for the party tomorrow.” you add. “it was nice getting to know you tzuyu, you’re perfect for the idiot beside you. night everyone.” chuckling quietly in between responses.

and with that you’re walking up the stairs to your room, leaving your mom, tzuyu, and dahyun perplexed yet again.

december 25th, five o’clock pm.

you're greeting guests, various familiar faces and their parents, family friends, and whoever else you mom managed to fit on the list.

the party is lively, with people scattered in the backyard and on the little porch while your dad grills his signature bbq meats. your mom laughs with her friends as she sips on her wine, moving her hands around as she talks to emphasize her little life updates.

in the basement with you are your old high school friends: momo, her cousin mina, jaehyun, mark, johnny, seulgi, sooyoung, jeongyeon, and dahyun, who’s accompanied by tzuyu. the rest of your frineds couldn’t make it, they were probably out of town. all of them sit on the floor or couch with a can of smirnoff or soda, all chatting and laughing over old memories.

you lean against jaehyun as you laugh, letting yourself hide behind his shoulder while mark ruthlessly brings up each embarrassing phase you’ve had. what a guy, a guy you’ll be figthing soon if he keeps this up.

the feeling of your phone ringing against your palm as you hold it catches your attention, directing you from the conversation at hand. the screen shows a call from “mom♡” which earns a confused look. you answer the call, cupping the phone so you can hear her better as you answer.

“hello? did you need something?”

“hey honey, would you mind coming out for a bit? someone wants to see you.”

“someone?” you ask, “one of your friends or...?”

“just come on out sweetie.” she insistts.

“okay okay, whatever you say.” you respond before ending the call and starting to get up. jaehyun looks up at you with a quirked brow as he sips on his drink. you look back and shrug, “my mom wants me to meet ‘someone,’ probably one of her friends or something. i won’t be long.” you respond to him and let the others know.

"alright, take your time," jaehyun says with a nod, setting his drink down. "hopefully, it won't be too boring," he adds with a small smirk, teasing you gently. you roll your eyes playfully in response before grabbing your jacket and heading towards the sliding door.

you were right about the guess on seeing your mom's friend, or—friends. however, the sudden chill you get when seeing the minatozaki’s on the porch makes you tense up.

they're standing there, glasses of wine in their hands as they look at you. sana's mom has a smile on her face, so does her dad. you walk up to them and try to shake off your nerves, fully hugging sana’s mom and giving sana’s dad a side hug.

“it’s been a while hasn’t it?” sana’s mom says, putting her hand on your shoulder and grinning. “it’s wonderful to see you again.”

“likewise.” you respond, melting into relaxation the more you get used to this atmosphere. “how have you all been?”

after a tense reunion with sana’s parents, they find out about your ambitions and what you’ve been up to. not much is mentioned about the falling out between you and their daughter, but the thought most definitely lingers in the cold, winter air.

sana's parents tell you about an internship she earned at a hospital her first year, saying they’re proud of her for helping others and the bonus of the nice paycheck that came with the experience. they tell you she’s found herself a guaranteed transfer to your school and that she’s excited to help even more people in the nursing program. it sounds like sana’s a great person, she’s always wanted to help others, it makes you smile and nod as her parents update you on what she’s been up to.

but there’s this feeling of uncertainty and sorrow brewing. the fact that you have to hear about sana from anyone but her breaks you a bit, knowing that the two of you wouldn’t hesitate to update each other back then. now, it seems like you’re missing a chunk of memories that you could’ve shared with sana.

“we asked her to come to the party.” mr. minatozaki says, looking at you with a sympathetic smile. “she said she’d consider it.”

“oh, i see.” you respond, nodding whilst looking at the ground.

part of you is glad that she’s not here, but who are you kidding, there would never be a time where you’d be dissapointed to catch her near you, despite the paranoia taking over.

“well, it’s nice to catch up y/n. we've missed you, it’s great to see how well you’re doing. your parents must be proud.” mr. minatozaki concludes, looking at you with admiration.

“yeah, thanks.” you say, “well, i'll leave you to talk to my parents, but i'll stop by again to talk to you two. it's really nice to catch up, i've missed you guys too, and your wonderful dinners.” you add jokingly, earning a laugh from the couple.

sana's mom kisses your temple and hugs you, then lets you walk back into the house.

it seems like this whole night has been full of surprises—scratch that, at this point, everything is a surprise ever since you've been back in town. especially now, because once you step into the kitchen, there’s a familiar woman who’s making your knees weak all over again.

“y/n, hey.” sana greets softly, smiling at you.

she's just hung up her scarf on the little hook near the fridge, the same place she’d always hang it back then. there was this unspoken rule that when sana was here, there were certain spaces that belonged to her; the hook near the fridge, the chair at the dining table closest to the living room, the right side of your bed, and the left side of the couch in the basement.

still, you’re pissed at the fact she had practically cut you off completely over a boy just to come back years later to win you back. it irritated you how easy it was for sana to convince you, but you were much angrier at the thought of her coming back to see you because her and chris didn’t work out. was she serious about the breakup? was that all it took to forget that she had caused so much mental turmoil?

despite this, her being in your house again and seeing her at this christmas party like years before; everything reminds you of the fact that sana had always lingered in your home.

“hey, didn’t think you’d make it.” you respond, watching her shrug.

“my parents said your signature cookies are here, i had to.”

can't be the only reason, you want to mumble, but your lips stay sealed.

sana speaks again, “i stole a couple, ate some earlier actually. still as great as i remembered.”

“thanks.” you mutter, walking over to the fridge to grab a bottle of water. “did you want to talk about something?”

“what do you mean?”

“there’s a reason you came, and i know it’s for me since you’re not in the basement with everyone else. we both know that’s the signature spot.”

sana cringes at your tone, but gives in.

“i just wanted to see you, and hopefully talk to you normally.”

it's taking everything in you to hold your ground, to protect yourself from this sudden appearance that’s making you all uneasy again. you can’t let sana screw you up again with a simple visit, you can’t.

“i know you’re sorry but sana, you treated me so terribly. do you know how much i cried? how fucking terrible i felt after losing my friend of years to chris?” you seethe, sighing. “part of me wants to start over, maybe try again—but how can i do that when there’s the chance of you throwing away everything, we rebuild over another stupid fucking guy.”

she looks at you with guilt in her eyes, her shoulders sinking and words jumbling in her throat.

“y/n, nothing—no one, despite what i've done to you, will ever make me forget how much i love you. there's always a space in my heart for you.”

you scoff, anger flowing throughout you now, then walk over to her. she stands against the frame of the entrance, you stand in front of her now, looking down slightly. sana's looking at you directly in the eye, you can see the hurt and regret in her eyes; her look brings you back to your senses.

“how do i know you’re not bluffing? sana, every ounce of me wants to redo this.” your voice cracks slightly, the hurt evident in your tone.

“you just have to trust me, i'm sorry, i'm really sorry.”

you feel like curling up into a ball and hiding, the way your chest tightens makes you want to cry a bit.

the party ends around one in the morning, considering the fact that some of the attendants are adults that don’t have the energy to party until the sunrises.

jaehyun’s just crossed the line, now slurring his words and laughing stupidly while he gets touchy with the guys, so mark ends up driving him home. johnny catches a ride with seulgi and sooyoung. with them gone, you’re in the basement with momo, mina, dahyun, and tzuyu. all five of you end the night with some recollections of memories, momo’s recent date, mina’s annoying professor, and before you know it you all are hugging goodbye.

you've already gone through three cans of the smirnoff cans, it hadn’t done much except make you a little more giggly and talkative. you were a little tipsy, that was all.

throughout the night, tzuyu and dahyun exchange glances, their eyes meeting repeatedly, dahyuns hand rubbing tzuyu’s thigh, and the little smiles they give each other. all of it doesn’t go unnoticed – at least by you – and hints at the potential for something you don’t want to think of in detail once they return home.

as you observe their subtle interactions, a pang of envy stirs within you, longing for that same allure and anticipation. amidst the swirling emotions, a sense of emptiness creeps in, amplified by the beers you’ve had. you're left to ponder on what’s making you feel hollow, still feeling bad after raising your voice at sana earlier.

you can’t feel bad, you shouldn’t. whatever you did wasn’t comparable to her practically pretending you didn’t exist for almost two years.

after rolling your eyes and saying some stupid joke to dahyun and tzuyu – the last to leave the house – you head back to the basement.

of course, sana had to be sitting on the couch, head turned towards the tv as she sipped on a beer.

“hey.” you mutter, earning her attention as she turns away from the christmas movie you paused earlier.

“hi.” sana greets.

every ounce of anger, irritation, and dread had been squeezed out your body at the sight of her. you genuinely think it’s the alcohol that’s making you rethink everything, making it hard to fight back that voice in your head that’s trying to stay reserved and petty.

sana sits there, her gaze fixed on you with intensity. her glasses are perched on her nose, a familiar sight whenever she's engrossed in watching tv or anything like that. the sight only adds to her charm, making her look even more adorable. you can't help but notice her favorite cardigan draped over her shoulders – the fluffy, white knit cardigan she adores so much –it's a cherished gift from your mother, and she's held onto it all these years. her eyes bore into yours, drilling into your skull and compelling you to plop down beside her as if nothing had ever transpired between you. you surrender, maybe it’s the late hours of the night, maybe the beer, o rmaybe just sana.

(it’s probably just sana.)

she turns back to the movie playing, some stupid romcom jaehyun had put on as background noise.

your eyes trace the curve of her nose, lingering on her lips and the impeccable contour of her jawline as she remains fixated on the tv screen. her side profile captivates you for a moment, holding you in some sort of spell until she breaks the silence with her soft voice.

“i think our parents are playing card games in the kitchen.”

“probably betting money too.”

“remember when your dad took your christmas money for their game?” sana asks, giggling at the memory. her eyes are still fixed on the screen, you decide to tune into the movie too. “didn’t he lose too?”

“yeah.” you sigh, sinking into the couch. “he paid me back double the next day though.”

“so it was worth it?”

“yeah, i think we went out to eat with that money.”

sana turns to gaze at you, her eyes tracing the soft contours of your profile in the dimly lit room. the glow from the tv accentuates her favorite features of yours, and she finds herself lost in the sight before her. for a while, she simply stares, allowing the comfortable silence to envelop the moment.

you turn to look at her now, you two just stare at each other for a while more.

“maybe we can try again.” you mumble, giving into the beauty in front of you. “every part of me is against the idea.”

“that’s understandable.” sana agrees. she sighs before adding, “you don’t have to try again.”

“i know.” you assure, “but i think we should.”

“i’m sorry.”

“i know, sana.”

as the music from the tv fills the room, silence once again settles between you and sana. you know that you can't let this opportunity slip away – it's everything you've wanted, and deep down, you realize it's everything you've needed too.

there's a mistletoe that’s hung above the two of you, it’s been there the whole time, both of you were aware of it. it dangles from the light tantalizingly, but neither of you do anything about it. neither you or sana even mention it. your mind races to the memory of dahyun and tzuyu kissing each other under it and part of you wants to kiss sana like that, but you won’t let her kiss and make up.

you reach out, your fingers gently intertwining with hers. you lift her hand to your lips, feeling the warmth of her skin against your own. softly, you press a kiss upon the back of her hand, you linger in the intimacy of the gesture.

the two of you sit there for a moment, letting the world around you two fade away.

everything about the moment renders you weak. you think to yourself that maybe, just maybe, a second chance is enough to patch things up. if it’s with sana, then maybe it’s worth it.

#sana x reader #kpop x reader #twice imagines #twice x reader #minatozaki sana #twice sana #minatozaki sana x reader

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ronsenthal · 3 months

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As a fellow gifmaker (only not quite as skilled as you are) I've been struggling and your gifs always look so amazing and nice and colourful so I was wondering if you could share some tips on how do you colour tinted scenes like in MoTA? thank you Jess you are amazing 🤗

heey there!!!! First of all sorry for taking so long to reply to this, I was so happy with your nice comments that I wanted to give you a proper insight on how I do it, but unfortunately I'm quite HORRIBLE at explaining things?

I'll put it under the cut because it's gonna be a long post! but if you have any doubts my askbox is always open!!!!

So first of all I already gave some tips on how does my process with coloring gifs work so you can check it on my resources and tips tag

As you said you are also a fellow gifmaker so I'll take it from there as I assume you already know gif 101, but if you are new to this you can again check my tag for some beginners tips

Also want to point out this lovely tutorial by @ajusnice that might be even more helpful, since I learned a lot from it

Disclaimer: i'm colorblind, I can see all the hues, just not all the shades and I tend to struggle with greens, oranges and yellows so apologies for any mistakes or if this turns out looking weird!

HOW TO COLOR TINTED SCENES????

So at this point I hope you already have you gif all cut down to the size that you want and used your fav action/sharpening presets ( I use this or this actions to sharpen my gifs

Now I'll use the footage down bellow as it is really blue tinted and I worked with it for this gifset (MoTA SPOILERS AHEAD!!!!!!!!!) so it looks like this

3. So the first thing I do is work with curse as it gives me a better grasp of what I have and how do I want to go with it. I have been using this method where you go to Curves >> Click on the top right menu >> Auto Options

4. Now a new window thing will open up and then I click on the option Find Dark and Light Colors, as you can see my gif already looks a lot brighter and now so tinted

5. this is how my gif looks like I selected that option

6. still does look a little blue-ish doesn't it? Okay so now I'll go to some adjustment layers, the first thing I do is work with hue/saturation. I'll go to the cyans and blues first and I want to remove some of the blue tint of my scene. I prefer to decrease the saturation of those colors so it looks a bit like this

and my gif looks like this

7. So here is our first problem, while I took away the blues my gif now looks a little dull as the scene was delivered to us in such a different color scheme, It wasn't supposed to look like this so now we need to color correct!! For this I work my way around vibrance/saturation so my menu looks like this

And my gif looks like this

8. Problem #2 because now it looks too blue tinted AGAIN! so I just repeat step 6 again so my menus look like this

and my gif looks like this

9. from now on it's only about some details such as correct the brightness/contrast of the scene and I personally like to use the color balance adjustment layer, I'll leave it all here

10. finally one of my fav adjustment layers -> SELECTIVE COLOR i just mess around until it looks nice to me, I'll leave the configs I used down bellow

Finally after all those steps my gif looks like this

#asks #anon #mr*#requests #coloring tutorial #usergif #allresources #chaoticresources #gif tutorials #gif tutorial #psd tutorial #completeresources

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whosscruffylooking · 1 year

Text

The Beginning of Us Part 2 (Joel Miller x Fem! Reader)

A/N: Here is part 2! Next chapter brings the ultimate heartbreaks, so I will be spending a little extra time on it. Also, if anyone wants to be added to the tag list for this series please let me know!

Series Masterlist

Warnings! Spoilers for TLOU Episode 1, mentions of death, mention of panic attack, angst.

Word Count: 3.9k

»»————-　♡　————-««

*September 26, 2003* ~Later That Evening~ "So, the answer would be 783?" Sarah appears unsure. You give her a reassuring nod, "Exactly. Great job. You know, as much as I dread going to work every day, I'm so glad I don't have to do homework anymore." The two of you are sitting on her bed agonizing over her algebra homework.

As she piles up all of her papers into her folder, you wander around her room, examining all of the little touches that make the room hers. There is a simple, yet strong feminine touch to her room. A clear representation of the latest teen trends, and yet it is all a reflection of her youthful vibrance.

The poster in the corner of the room catches your eye, "You really do love Halican Drops huh?" "It's my dream to see them in concert one day," she says with a sparkle in her eye. "I think we should go sometime," you wink at her.

She jumps off of her bed, "Are you serious?"

"Yeah, I saw them once live and they are amazing. It would be even more fun to go with another fellow superfan."

Her enthusiastic expression turns to a more solemn one. Extending your arm out to her you bring her back over to the bed to sit down, "What's wrong Sarah?"

She pauses and takes a deep breath, "My dad is a good man...but he's been through a lot. He has been hurt a lot. Uncle Tommy has tried to get him to date, but nothing ever comes of it. That's why I know you are different."

"W-what?" Your brain stutters for a moment, struggling to process what is happening.

"I know you slept over last night. And before you freak out about that, I just want you to know that it makes me happy to see my dad as optimistic as he's been. He's come out of his shell again. I swear to God everything we talk about somehow comes full circle back to you too. The other day I said I want to go to Disney World and he told me how you have a baby picture of yourself with Mickey Mouse on your fridge. That was my first signal that my suspicions have been accurate."

Leaning forward, you take her hands into yours once more, "Sarah...if any of this makes you uncomfortable at all please tell me. I would never want to overstep or make you feel like-"

"Hey hey hey, I'm so happy about this. Since you moved in a year ago, you've slowly brought my dad back to me. I can see the way he looks at you, it's kind of how he looks at me...but different."

Tightening your grasp around her hands, you draw her into a hug. She settles into your embrace and whispers, "Just don't hurt him." Kissing the top of her head you quietly express, "I'll keep him safe I promise."

»»————- ♡ ————-«« The rest of the night is spent waiting on Joel to get home. You and Sarah intensely watched the clock as the hours passed by, wondering when he'd get back.

Finally, the door-knob to the front door begins to shake and you can hear Joel mutter a curse word when he realizes it's locked. "Well, you locked the door for once, good job," he acknowledges Sarah once inside. "That's because I made her," you stare down at her. Nothing can hide the disappointment on her face. She'd wanted so badly to spend the day celebrating her dad, and nothing had gone according to plan.

The young girl kindly reprimands her father for coming home past the time he'd promised AND for forgetting to bring home a cake, she makes him swear to make up for it tomorrow. Eager to move past the awkwardness and save Joel a little embarrassment, you signal to Sarah to give him his watch.

"Fixed it for you," her hopeful eyes look to his in search of commendation and gratitude. He tricks her into thinking that the watch wasn't properly fixed and you watch the two of them with such admiration, for the beautiful bond they have. The ability to have a deep father, daughter relationship and yet be each other's best friends was so endearing. You never want to come between them, but you'd be honored to have a front-row seat to their little family unit.

"Where'd you get the money for this?" He inquires.

"Drugs. I sell hardcore drugs," she says in all seriousness.

You and Joel laugh in unison, your eyes meeting briefly before turning your attention back to his daughter.

"Actually," she rests her head on your shoulder, "Y/N helped."

There is a pleased look in his eye, as his gaze meets yours. It's as if some element of peace washed over him and pure contentment settled into his rough features. It's been years since a woman showed him this much kindness, and you'll be damned if that job ever goes to someone else. »»————- ♡ ————-«« Sarah had fallen asleep to a movie, her head laying in Joel's lap. The two of you kept stealing glances throughout the movie. You feel his fingertips graze your shoulder and you turn to him, resting your head on the back of the sofa.

"Hi Joel," your pupils dilate.

"Hi beautiful," his eyes twinkle, fixated on studying every detail of your face.

Very quickly, you learn that your conversations do not need words to feel meaningful. The tilts of your heads, the shrugs of your shoulders, the serene sighs of surrender when you feel completely at ease with one another. Both of you are soothed by each other's presence and it is evident even in the voids of quietness. In those moments you can fully savor the company of the other and thrive off of the respect and admiration that radiates from you. There is a feeling of safety and confidence that stays between you and has existed since the beginning of your friendship.

The sharp ringing of the phone snaps you both back to reality. He answers it. You can't make out the words but can tell it is Tommy on the other line. With a heavy sigh, Joel falls back against the couch in defeat.

Damn it Tommy. You got yourself locked up again, didn't you?

Joel turns to you, jaw clenched with annoyance, forehead furrowed in disappointment. He wants to stay here with you a little while longer.

You offer to remain at the house and make sure Sarah is taken care of while he picks up Tommy. He takes her upstairs to tuck her into her bed. Dragging himself back downstairs, he rolls his neck from one side to the other in an endeavor to relieve the kinks. Stifling a yawn, you meet him halfway in the living room.

"We'll be here when you get back."

Although his expression was pensive, it eases slightly as you pull him out of his thoughts and back into the present with you.

"Thank you for staying with Sarah. Hell, sleeping over two nights in a row...things are getting serious." He gives you a goofy smile.

"Go!" You let out a short laugh and shove him out the front door. »»————- ♡ ————-«« As the hours rolled by, your sense of urgency grew. Joel should have been back with Tommy by now. Eager to distract yourself you turn on the television and aimlessly channel surf until you discover a movie that piques your interest. Another hour of watching the front door, willing Joel and Tommy to walk through it, passes by.

Drowsiness begins to overtake you. You take your eyes off of the television screen not wanting to exert any more effort into looking at it. Each muscle in your body begins to release the tension of the day, one by one as you settle onto the couch. The faint buzz of the television lulls you to the edge of sleep in mere moments.

Jolted awake by the deafening rumble of helicopters passing overhead, you fight off the dream that is still clouding your mind. Everything from your eyelashes to your feet feels heavy. Resting your eyes once more, you grant yourself another moment to enjoy the void of unconsciousness.

That moment is interrupted by Sarah shaking you awake.

"Y/N, what's going on? I think I can see explosions outside..."

Groggily sitting up, your vision finally focuses on the TV just past Sarah. The channel that was airing a movie not too long ago is now distorted with static. Sarah picks up the remote and changes the channel.

"STAY INDOORS! Law enforcement and emergency services are in the area and will be in contact with further instructions."

"What the f-"

Your attention shifts from the national alert to the sound of scratching at the window. The Adler's dog is loose and attempting to get into the house.

Okay, this night CANNOT get any stranger.

"It's Mercy! We need to see if he's okay," Sarah rushes to the door. You grab her arm, "Uh, I don't think that's a good idea. I think we need to stay inside right now and keep the doors locked."

"But he never gets loose. What if something is wrong with the Adlers?"

Suppressing the dread that is developing rapidly within you, you swallow your fear for Sarah's sake. You have to keep things calm and safe for her.

"Alright," you smooth your hand over her hair, "I'm gonna go over to my house and grab my nursing kit okay? Let me go check on them, but you do not, and I am so serious right now....do NOT leave this house by any means. Understand?"

She was too frightened to even lift her head, rather she stared out the window at the distant flares of light coming from the city.

You kneel to her level and hold her for a moment, "Everything is going to be alright okay?"

"Can I see if Mercy is okay?"

Conceding, you cautiously open the door and allow Sarah to clutch onto the dog. "Remember Sarah, do not leave the house."

Your pulse beats in your ears, as you turn to face your house. Although your mind is intent on making the trek across the street, it is as if your feet are cemented to the ground.

You tell yourself that being a little nervous is a completely normal reaction to what is going on. But that's just it, what IS going on?

God Joel, where the hell are you?

»»————- ♡ ————-««

"Damn it Tommy can you drive any faster?"

Tommy's grip on the wheel tightens, finding an odd comfort in the grooves between his fingers.

"Joel, I am going as fast as I can okay? They will be fine. Sarah is a smart girl and she has Y/N who won't let anything bad happen to them."

Joel could not wrap his mind around any of the events that transpired once he left his home to go get Tommy. One second he was in the comfort of his living room, within arms reach of the woman he'd just spent the most incredible night with. And his daughter, the embodiment of his heart and soul, was safe asleep on his lap. Next thing he knows, he and Tommy are being chased by a stampede of rabid-like inmates at the Travis County Jail. He could no longer restrain the tremors in his hands, shaking in an irregular rhythm.

"You really care about this girl don't you," Tommy's voice manages to break through the wall of thoughts blockading Joel from thinking clearly.

Recalling the night before, he is transported back to the moment when you pulled his shirt over his head and started grazing your hands across his chest, down the ridge in between his abs. It was a sensory overload, every nerve ending in his body tingled with anticipation. The two of you collapsed onto his bed, your bodies trembling as you bonded with every motion, each passionate touch leaving a flaming sensation on your skin. Your hearts raced in tempo with one another, like a symphony crescendoing to its epic finale.

"I do. This is the only time since Sarah's mom left that I've felt alive. Young again, invincible." Joel has never felt so certain in his life about someone, not even his ex-wife. Being with you is effortless. In your presence, he feels weightless. Like a drug, you drew him in slowly, tempting his every desire. At first, he took you in, little by little. And without detection, he became addicted. »»————- ♡ ————-«« Emerging from your home, nursing kit in hand, you prepare yourself for whatever you might face at the Adler's home. Surely it is nothing too grave, and yet you can't help but wonder why her kids didn't come to get you or call 911 if something happened to Nana?

Passing Joel's house, panic passes over you, causing the fine hairs on the back of your neck to rise. The front door is still open. Your mind races faster than your feet as you rush into the house. The endless possibilities as to what could've happened to her plague you.

You are confident that if anything happens to Sarah, Joel will strangle you with his bare hands...and not in a pleasurable way. Even if you told that stubborn girl not to move a finger from where you left her. She reminds you so much of yourself though. Curiosity can be so enticing at times that it blinds a person. Especially someone with as honorable of a heart as Sarah's.

"Sarah!" You frantically call out in each room.

Where are she and that damn dog?

Joel, hurry up. Please.

After surveying the entirety of the house to no avail, your chest tightens, and your lungs feel as though they have been wrung out of oxygen. Unsure of whether or not your lack of oxygen is due to the running or the panic attack creeping up on you, you take a moment to gather your thoughts. Mind over matter. Where would she go?

The dog. The damn dog. She's at the Adler's.

The next few seconds are a blur. You are uncertain how you got to the Adler's doorstep so swiftly. It felt like you were practically flying. Similar to Joel's home, the front door is open.

This girl needs to learn how to not only lock doors but actually CLOSE them.

A sickening sensation flares through your body as you peer into the still home. There go the hairs on the back of your neck again, but this time, the tingling sensation snakes down your spine and arms too. Instinctually, you know not to go in there. But, Sarah is in there and she matters more than any gut feeling or self-preservation right now.

"Sarah?"

Apprehensively, you venture deeper into the house. That's when you lay eyes on her, frozen in the kitchen. Unclear as to what she is fixated on, you join her in the doorway. That's when you see it. A trail of blood leads directly to Mr. Adler, his mouth agape and his limbs contorting. At first, the sight does not phase you. As a nurse working in an emergency room, you handle bloody wounds day in and day out. It's not until you look closely at where the blood is coming from that your fears reignite.

Is that...a bite wound?

A guttural noise captures your attention. Following Sarah's line of sight, terror sucks the very breath from your lungs. There is Nana, atop Mrs. Adler. Another river of blood floods from the daughter-in-law's neck.

Nana's raspy breathing slows to a more even tempo as she raises her eyes toward you. Vine-like appendages protrude from her mouth, attaching themselves to Connie's neck. The drumming of your heart, deafening and irregular, obscures your mind with fear.

Fight? Or flight? First, get Sarah as far away as possible.

Latching onto Sarah's arm, you tug her behind you.

One word. "Run."

Keeping your eyes on the gasping old woman, you ready yourself to prevent her from reaching Sarah at all costs. You listen intently for Sarah's footsteps pounding out of the house until you are positive she's made it outside.

You can feel the flight responses taking over your body, flooding you with increased adrenaline.

Nana stumbles to her feet as she releases a splintering screech. That is when the adrenaline ceases full control over your body, sending you hurdling towards the front door. Whatever creature has possessed the once docile elderly lady, is now hot on your heels. Her bone-chilling snarls signal you to her presence behind you.

Just as you begin to fear the worst outcome, you see him.

"Don't go," Joel's pleas echo in your mind from mere hours ago.

The thought of being wrapped up in his secure embrace once more drives you to push your legs harder.

Anguish pierces his voice as he calls out your name. Even so, it translates into a calming melody that brings some clarity to your mind.

"Get behind me..." He motions you over to Sarah.

As you hold her trembling frame, you turn back to Nana who is collapsed on the ground. Her limbs are mangled and her eyes are void of any life. Suddenly, the sharp cracking of her bones churns your stomach. Like a rabid animal, she growls and sprints toward Joel on all fours. Rising to her feet and closing in on him, she flails her arms wildly.

"What are we doing Joel!?" Tommy exclaims.

Without hesitation, Joel swings the wrench clutched in his fist and lands one solid blow to the side of the woman's head, sending her motionless body to the ground. Sarah screams and you quickly shield her from the sight of her father standing over their neighbor's corpse...or at least the shell of what she used to be.

Joel rushes to his daughter's side and caresses her cheek, looking her over to make sure she's safe and in one piece.

"You killed her," she cries in disbelief as she collapses into his arms.

He tightens his grip on her, "Baby, I'm sorry." He pulls away and stares into her eyes with strength and focus, "It's not just the Adlers. But we're gonna be brave and we're gonna get out of this."

Not just the Adlers? The helicopters flying towards the city...whatever took control of Nana did not die with her, she was merely the introduction.

Feeling lightheaded, you lean against Tommy's truck. He rushes to your side and holds you up, "You got that nursing kit of yours?"

"N-no. Inside," you point to Joel's house.

One by one, generators and streetlights begin to explode. Sparks of orange and gold, light up the sky over your neighborhood.

Joel ushers Sarah into the car and turns to face you. For a brief moment, time stands still. His pupils dilate, as he looks at you, the woman who made the future look like skies as clear as sapphire. Yet, he recognizes a shift in the atmosphere. A shared dread hanging over you like a dark, impenetrable cloud. His hands tremble, searching for yours to steady them. He twitches, his body responding to your delicate touch.

"Don't go." He implores you. His signature phrase to you. That in itself could be your new love language.

Attempting to open your mouth to speak, no words flow out. A simple nod is all you can manage. With that permission, he hurries you into the truck, meanwhile warning another one of your neighbors to stay inside and lock her door. Once Joel is inside, you lean forward and drape a reassuring hand on his shoulder. A subtle, but significant sign of solidarity. He laces his fingers with yours and holds you in place against the back of his seat.

As aggressively as Tommy floors the truck into motion, he brings it to a screeching halt. The headlights of the truck illuminate the Adlers stumbling onto the street. Their limbs are just like that of Nana's, wrenched and fidgeting.

"Get your seatbelts on," Joel declares.

Tommy warns, "Hold on..."

His foot finds its way back to the accelerator with no delay. Bracing yourself for the unthinkable you turn to Sarah, "Come here." She folds into your lap, a whimper escaping her lips. The Adlers charge at the truck simultaneously. Connie soon disappears from view as the truck plows over her and sideswipes Danny.

Closing your eyes, you do everything in your might to hold down the bile rising in your throat.

Sarah sits up and wipes a few stray tears from her eyes, "Daddy-"

"We don't know," Joel interrupts.

You shake your head in disbelief, "The Adlers, they were infected with something, some kind of parasite maybe?"

"That's what they're saying on the radio, some kind of virus," Tommy confirms.

"Are we sick?" The young girl persists.

"No. Of course not," Joel's fearful tone turns to a more frustrated one. As a father, his instinct is to protect his daughter and provide her with comfort, but he has no clue what kind of threat lies ahead and can't give her satisfying answers. You tighten your hold on his hand, and he gives you a firm squeeze.

Joel's brother slows the truck as you spot a family pulled off onto the side of the road.

"Tommy, don't," you state firmly. The family shouts after you in desperation.

"But they have a kid."

"So do we," Joel glares at Tommy.

It's officially every man for themselves. Each outsider you bring into your safety net becomes a variable. An unpredictable risk that could put you and the people you care most about in grave danger.

Beams of crimson light glow in the distance, a vast sea of unmoving taillights. Seems like everyone in Austin had the escape plan as you, sending Tommy into a frenzy.

"It's okay, just think it through, we'll think it through," Joel says in repetition, not just for Tommy, but also to ease himself.

Coming from the opposing direction, panicked vehicles race towards you, and away from the perpetual gridlock that hundreds of other cars are trapped in.

Looking out the window into the vast, empty land that stretches for miles uninterrupted, you have a plan.

"Tommy, the field. It's the perfect detour. Cut across it and we will end up on the west side."

Speedily, he veers off onto the barren land. A stampede of cars follows behind you. The collective rays of the headlights light your path to....another dead end. The highway is infested with army vehicles crawling along it.

Tommy and Joel bicker over what the next move should be. Joel opts for a small town on the north side.

"And then what?" You interject.

Joel steadies himself against the dash, the unstable terrain tossing your bodies left and right.

"I don't know. Mexico. Just far, far as we can."

Sarah's eyes gloss over. "Maybe it's everywhere. Maybe there's nowhere to go."

"Hey, hey look at me. We are going to be fine. As long as the four of us stick together, we will be fine. There will be somewhere for us to go and find safety. I promise you, we won't let anything happen to you," you place your hand over your heart and affirm to her.

The dilemma is, you don't know if you can even accept what you promised Sarah. This isn't some influenza you can shelter in place from. The battle is against mankind's worst enemy, man. But not normal men, men being transformed into monsters.

"I-I believe you." Sarah's faith in you is unshakeable, "And I love you too Y/N."

»»————-　♡　————-««

Tag List: @midgetpottermills @erenswiffe

#joel miller x you #joel miller x reader #joel miller x y/n #joel miller one shot #joel miller #Pedro Pascal #pedro pascal x you #pedro pascal imagine #pedro pascal x y/n #pedro pascal x reader #pedro pascal one shot #the last of us imagine #the last of us

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acourtofthought · 6 months

Text

Feyre and Nesta hated how their father handled things and because of that they did not have much love for their father who was not a "fighter". As a result they chose his opposite when it came to who they ended up with, they chose two impressive warriors.

"How you were treated by your father as you were growing up helps shape your view of men in general and what you expect of them"

Compared to her sisters, Elain did love her father and it seems his gentle nature was something she latched on to.

"he was smiling mildly at his beloved Elain, the only one of us who bothered to really speak to him at all."

My father smiled freely, laughed readily, and doted on Elain, who in turn doted on him.

My father murmured his praises to Elain, who beamed at him and rested her head on his shoulder.

When depressed her father turned inward and shut down, not entirely different from how both Elain and Lucien have processed their past traumas though I will say Lucien definitely does not like to sit idle.

When happy, Elain's father smiled freely and laughed readily (similar to the Lucien we saw in book 1 and the Lucien we got hints of once he left Spring - he's not fully himself yet but it's easy to see who he is when not dealing with the all the heaviness).

And her father was business savvy to a certain extent:

I spied my father hunched over his desk, a little scale before him as he weighed an uncut ruby the size of a duck’s egg. He was clear-eyed again, and moved with a sense of purpose, of vibrancy, that I hadn’t seen since before the downfall.

“I’m thinking of buying the Beddor land,” my father was saying to Elain, who was the only one of us listening to him. “I heard a rumor it’ll go up for sale soon, since none of the family survived, and it would be a good investment property. Perhaps one of you girls might build a house on it when you’re ready.” Elain nodded interestedly,

The only reason his hand was forced with the three ships at the start of the series was because of bad deals made by the three generations before him.

Elain never seemed to care that he did not fight for them in the cottage, seemed to hang on to his words when he spoke of business deals and only ever seemed to desire his affection. To her, that was enough.

So it's worth paying attention to how SJM made sure to continue drawing even more parallels between Lucien and Papa Archeron:

Elain's first real love (her father), the man she held in high regard, and her mate share a way with words and intelligence.

And just as her father was very open with his affection and praise for Elain, SJM has written Lucien to share that characteristic as well. He was soothing and comforting with Feyre when he thought she had a nightmare and is complimentary of his female friends, always speaking highly of them.

I like how she's basically taken Elain and said, "I see your stubbornness when it comes to the mating bond but I'm going to literally make it impossible for you to not fall for Lucien in the end because I'm going to write him to be everything you respect and desire AND he's going to share a bond with the first man you ever loved."

That last part is huge because Elain can't talk to anyone else about her father without it bringing up negative emotions for them.

In Lucien (and even Vassa), SJM has given Elain another person who she can fondly remember her father with as they too share in those similar memories.

This post was inspired by @lorcanisdabest recent post:

#elucien #pro elucien #elain archeron #lucien vanserra #pro lucien vanserra #elain x lucien #lucien and elain #elain and lucien #lucien spell cleaver #acotar series #character deep dive

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cyborg-franky · 11 months

Note

Hi Franky! Can i ask for a modern AU with Uta x male!reader spending some time togheter? (singing and play music or going to eat something) thanks! 💖

I didn't do male reader, oops! Also this is my first ever EVER EVER time writing adult Uta so I hope I didn't mess up. It's hard when her only canon personailty is a child or... ya know.

Uta x GN Reader SFW Modern AU WC: 570

Uta stared out the window, watching the drops of rain cascade down the glass, she took in a deep breath and sighed. Her breath fogged up the window, she drew an unhappy face on the fog her breath created before she adjusted. She hugged her knees to her chest, resting her chin on her knees.

You hated to see her feeling down, you guessed it was because the weather was miserable, it always had an impact on your girlfriend. It meant she couldn't go and sing in the garden or go and visit her brothers.

Another sigh before you came up behind her, you put hands on her shoulders, gently shaking her. “Wanna go out? I know what will cheer you up,” You smiled down at her as she leaned back, her bright eyes shining up at you as her frown turned into a smile.

–

You knew she’d wanted to try out this new cafe ever since she’d heard about it on one of the influencer videos she watched. As soon as she stepped foot inside her eyes widened in wonder as glanced around. Seeing all the cool musical-themed decorations, cute plushies, and colorful designs.

“Here? Really?” She said, clapping her hands together as you were both shown your seats, under a fake Sakura tree in the corner with pink neons and flowers everywhere, she clung to your arm as the waitress set the menu in front of her.

She got a latte with foam that looked like a kitty, sandwiches cut into hearts, and an assortment of delicate little cakes with music themes. She was loving it, she took so many pictures. She held up her phone and gave a peace sign, nudging you to pose. You chuckled and copied her as she pressed the button.

“That’s a cure photo of us, I’m going to post it.” Uta proclaimed with the biggest grin on her face as she updated her profile picture. You just smiled, she was so much more alive and bouncy now you were out together.

–

After your lunch you took her by the hand, leading her into the back, she blinked but followed. Down the brightly lit stairs and to a row of rooms. She quirked her visible brow at you before you opened the door to the room you booked.

“This is the best,” She said when she realized there was a karaoke room.

There was no way you could keep up with her or even do a duet but you loved to hear her sing, you loved when she danced and sang and smiled. You loved her and loved her vibrancy. She ran to the stage and hit the screen, looking through the selection of songs, and stamped her feet, giddy that some of her favorite bands were listed. You sat down at the table and watched her.

After she sang a few songs for you and only you, your own private show to your girlfriend's beautiful voice, always amazed she could come up with dances on the fly, she was one of the most talented people you’d ever had the joy of meeting.

She flopped down next to you, letting out a breath, you held her close and kissed her forehead as she looked up, leaning up and stealing a kiss. A giggle snuck out at your surprised reaction, her arms around your neck.

“Thank you! Today was perfect..” she sighed happily.

#sfw #gender nuetral reader #uta one piece #uta op #uta x reader #uta x you #uta x yn #uta op x reader #one piece #one piece x reader #one piece reader insert #gender neutral reader #one piece x you #one piece x y/n #one piece imagines #one piece uta #one piece x yourname

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fromjannah · 7 days

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IT IS IN YOUR SELF-INTEREST, after robert wood lynn - description in id and under the cut

IT IS IN YOUR SELF-INTEREST after Robert Wood Lynn

no one really wakes up and thinks today is the day I am going to be clever but you wake up today and it’s really fucking close because today is the day you resolve to stop screaming names into pillows and today is the day you will dress nice but not too nice and today is the day you will paste the Jenny Holzer Truisms behind your eyes and scream Protect Me From What I Want and not I Need To Lie Front To Back With Someone Who Adores Me ‘cause anyway you don’t need that shit and today is the day you will go to the party with the nicest smile on your face the I Know Who I Am And I’ll Tell You Only If You Ask smile not the Please God Touch Me Here And Here And Here smile and certainly not the Please God I Am Trying So Fucking Hard To Be Tender smile and you’re gonna wear your prettiest chain and brush your teeth just enough and resolve to be clever and you’re gonna laugh when it’s right laugh just enough not the I Am In Love With An Entire World That Does Not Love Me Back laugh and anyway who needs the world right and the nice thing is that it’s loud and when it’s loud you can lean in close to the girl who keeps tucking back your hair and tell her to repeat whatever she just said and good God isn’t this world so fucking ordinary when you’re being clever don’t the colors make sense and you don’t need the vibrancy that sears itself behind your eyelids and gives you migraines ‘cause baby you’re all protected and you won’t even need to have some warm body next to you tonight to quiet the noise and turn away since no one wants to pull you from it anyway and it’s working at your throat and it’s a lovely battering ram on your chest and suddenly there’s a way to how the boy at karaoke is singing ABBA off-key and suddenly you can see that the girl who has a hand cupped around the shell of your ear has a chipped tooth and suddenly you need to scream a name and Jesus fuck here’s your smile escaping and your laugh like a gunshot and the whole party like a late spring blossom and good luck trying to be beautiful when everything else is good God try to wake up and be clever next time

#jannah speaks #jannah writes #poetry #hi guys. your least favorite fake poet mutual here

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hangeslefteye · 1 year

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Vampire!Jean x Villager s/o HC'S Part1

This is way too detailed and long to be ok :D Also I might do some more parts because I GOT A LOT TO SAY ABOUT VAMPİRE!JEANN!!!!

Vampire!Jean has a big goth castle reeking luxury in the middle of the woods he lives all alone in.

Vampire!Jean does not talk to villagers living at the other side of woods at all.Even villagers don't really know if he's there to start with.Only proof of his existance is some clouded rumors from centuries ago.

Vampire!Jean thinks those villagers are unworthy mortal fools.But he can't resist spying on them once in a while to remember his past life, before turning into a vampire.

Vampire!Jean hated himself for a long time after being a vampire.He saw himself as a vile monster,as a freaky creature that should never be in the day light again even though he was turned by a pure blood.

Vampire!Jean eventually embraced being a vampire after his friends and family died before his eyes but he always stayed young.Which caused him a lot of pain and grief and resulted in his melancholic soltitude.

Vampire!Jean's guilty pleasure is to watch mortals,watching them enjoying their limited lifespan brings back his peaceful memories.He especially loves watching kids and young lovers.Seeing them 'lively' makes him forget that he's a cold blooded abomination now.He'd never admit but he's quite jealous and wishes he could live like them every.single.night.

Vampire!Jean saw you for the first time when he was mournfully stalking around again.You were dancing around a bonfire with your friends.He thought you were magical with your rusty white dress and dishevelled hair only belonging to mortals.He was star struck at the moment by your vibrancy.

Vampire!Jean carved every single detail of your face and body to his brain to picture it later on.

Vampire!Jean spends most of his time by painting mortals in the village but always leaves their facial details out.Because he does not want to be upset by remembering them once they are gone.

Vampire!Jean also has a violin he very rarely plays since back then he usually played it with his friends:Sasha,Connie,Eren,Mikasa.Now even to look at his violin pains him greatly.

Vampire!Jean began to look for you spesifically whenever he lurked among the villagers.Within this time he started to have nurturing feeling for you and interfered into your life subtly.Such as sending you some gold coins,jeweleries,flowers...You never knew where those gifts were coming from so you assumed a secret admirer amongst the villagers.

Vampire!Jean loves talking to himself when he's watching you.He especially gets loud to shame you whenever you get clumsy or dumb.This literally ended up to be his routine within time.

''Stupid mortal,Dumb girl,Even a blind man could see that,Damn embarassing,You so wouldn't like to know someone is watching,nevermind I can't even look...''

Vampire!Jean was astonished when he saw you at his door at one midnight.He allowed you to stay in his castle because you were lost in the woods and it was raining.He even invited you to a very fancy dinner he didn't even had a crumb of.He was only having a glass of 'wine'.

Vampire!Jean almost questioned your everyday life because he might never be able to talk to a human like this again.He listened everything you said very carefully,maybe a little too carefully but he has never revealed anything about himself.

Vampire!Jean offered you one of the many empty rooms in the huge castle but you couldn't really find the room he mentioned and you got lost into his not so little art gallery.You saw a lot of perfectly drawn everyday pictures with lost faces.But among them there was a picture covered up with a red shawl.You pulled it down to see a very beautiful asian woman with pale skin and jet black long hair.

Vampire!Jean was panicked for the first time in centuries when he found you in his painting room,looking at a certain picture of a long gone woman.When you asked him if she was his passed wife he grew inhumanly cold.He opened up his mouth barely to say she was just a friend.

Vampire!Jean showed you a different picture to distract from the enchantingly beautiful one.Then he showed you an another and other.He wanted to hear your opinion on all of them if this could be possible.

Vampire!Jean thought a lot about showing you your own picture around the bonfire but got rid of this idea rapidly.

Vampire!Jean came back to reality after hearing a glass shattering voice.He involuntarily saw your crimson blood mixing up with the wine he gave you.

Vampire!Jean got used to drinking animal blood and tasted a human's maybe a couple of times in ages.Your blood's smell,color and even warmth was fast to call his uncontrollable vampiristic urges.

Vampire!Jean looked at you with horror when the purple veins under his eyes got visible and his canines hurt.When you looked back at his now animalistic but still charming face you understood that the rumors old people has been spreading around were indeed true.

Vampire!Jean tried very hard to not to submit his urges but failed terribly with the presence of your blood or maybe you.

Vampire!Jean grabbed your hand gently but firmly to suck the dripping blood off your palm.Without separating his red shiny orbs from yours he licked and sucked it all like he's in a trance.He knew he shouldn't have done it and felt incredibly guilty because he couldn't stop himself yet he enjoyed every single drop of it greatly,mixed with sweet wine.

#attack on titan #attack on titan x you #jean kirstein #jean x reader #jean headcanons #jean kirschstein #jean kirschtein x you #jean kirschtein x reader #jean kirschtein headcanons #shingeki no kyojin #shingeki no kyoujin headcanons #jean kirschtien #jean kristen

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syneilesis · 8 months

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[fic] no end to promises

no end to promises

Ikemen Vampire | Vlad x f!Reader | T | 452 words ao3 link (later)

Throughout his waking life there is only one for him, and it is you.

A/N: Fifth entry to @cy-inky's one week challenge! Suitor of choice is Vlad with the prompt "I will always choose you." It's both childhood friends to lovers and arranged marriage AU. Because it's me, and it's Vlad I'm writing, there are a few warnings: mind control, Vlad and Reader-chan not being ... quite right in their heads, lowkey horror (?) – all vaguely implied. All scenes they are children, except for the last part, where they're thousands of years old 😜

Divider by @/saradika.

“From now on till the end of time, we will always be together.”

II.

Vlad takes your hand and leads you to the garden where hundred different flowers bloom. He points at them one by one and tells you their names, morning sunlight a shimmer on his fair, silver hair, his ruby eyes large like rose-blossom.

You've heard of their whispers: the divine child taking the branch-family daughter under his benevolent wing. Out of pity, out of charity. You let those assumptions slide over you, rainwater on sloped roof; they don't know, after all. Only you and Vlad know.

III.

“We don't want to lose the grace granted upon us, Young Lord. We implore you to understand.”

“I do. Which is why it is I who will decide upon my eternal partner.”

IV.

In the garden where hundred different flowers bloom, time crystallizes, eternity with the weight of a promise, reflected in each petal, leaf, stem – glass-vivid and bright. Vlad cradles your hand, pulls it to rest upon his warm cheek, and closes his eyes to soak in your presence.

Everything is quiet, like a deliberate silence under a muted sun, white clouds and white sky in contrast to the vibrance of the garden. No birdsong, no psithurism, no outside footsteps come to herd them back into the mansion. You caress Vlad’s soft, warm cheek and ask:

“Where is everybody? Grandmother? Uncle?”

Vlad sighs, content, and he stays that way for a while. It makes you think that he hasn't heard you. But then, he opens his eyes and his wine-red gaze pins you and your soul.

“I sent them away.”

“Away?”

Vlad nods. “Yes. Away. They wanted me to marry when I grow up and I said that I want to marry you, but they didn't like it. I didn't like that they didn't like it.”

“Oh.”

“Yes. So I sent them away.”

“Will they come back?”

“Maybe.”

“Oh.”

The plants move, but they produce no sound. You turn your head to the side, and it is the same. In the corner of your vision, the slice of Vlad's red eyes, following you, a burning shadow.

“Okay,” you say, and finally, Vlad lets your hand go.

“I will always choose you,” Vlad promises. He smiles like first snow.

“Me too,” you say. And it is your oath to him. “It will always be you.”

An eternity later, in the garden where hundred different flowers bloom, Vlad promises once more: “I will always choose you.”

And you grant him your most joyous smile, with its unbearable lightness. Forever entwined, forever inseparable. Forever, forever, forever.

And you return those same words, those same promises:

“Me too. It will always be you.”

#there's just something about vlad that makes me write lyrical prose for him #it's the madness in him i swear #1WEEKCHL #ikemen vampire #ikevamp #ikemen vampire vlad #ikevamp vlad #ikevamp vlad fic #ikevamp fic #ikevamp vlad x reader #fic #my fic

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nandorsaccent · 2 years

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‧₊˚✩ if this is the end, i want a boyfriend (pt. i) ‧₊˚✩

pairings: viago x gn!human!reader

rating: sfw, pg if you ignore everything in the warnings, pg-13 if you don’t, it's all fluff babes

warnings: floating around the idea of murder, mentions of vampire food, reader is a walking exclamation mark, lana del rey lyrics for title

word count for this chapter: 1,179

“I try to make it a really nice night for the people since it is their last night alive,” Viago explained into the camera after knocking on your front door. “So, I’m going to take this human out on a date, which was their idea, actually. Usually, I spend some time at the human’s house, maybe play them a song, and just give them a good time in the comfort of their own home before I kill them, but this one wanted to go out.” He gave a nervous smile to the lens as the knob to the front door turned. “I think it’s going to be a really fun night.”

“Viago!” you said happily when you opened the door, greeting him with a hug.

His eyes widened in surprise for a moment before returning the embrace. He couldn’t help but turn his head away from you to surreptitiously bare his teeth. You smelled so good that he wanted to eat you right then, but he was determined to be a gentleman and give you one last lovely night.

When you pulled away, he got to notice your appearance. You were all done up, beaming and undoubtedly proud of the effort that you put into your looks. Though your smile was bright and joyful, there was a little sense of nervousness in your eyes that he understood himself. He must have gotten a little too caught up in your beauty, because he didn’t notice your wide eyes and inquisitive frown until you were directly asking him about the cameras.

“It’s for a documentary,” he answered quickly, biting his lip.

You furrowed your brows before laughing amicably.

“A documentary!” you exclaimed, evidently quite amused. “How neat!"

To everyone’s surprise, you introduced yourself to each cameraperson, boom operator, and lighting technician, shaking hands with all of them. Viago couldn’t help the fondness in his eyes as he watched you with your vibrancy until you placed your arm in his and told him to lead the way to the late-night cafe you had both chosen for the night.

The evening air was cool and perfect for a stroll. You lived a little bit outside of Wellington, where the light pollution wasn’t quite as bad as inside of the city. You pointed out constellations and stars to him as you walked.

Admittedly, he was watching you more than the sky. Your enthusiasm was infectious. He quickly found that he wasn’t at all immune to the way you glowed.

“That’s Venus,” you explained, “but most people confuse it for a star. Oh, and Mars and Mercury!”

Likewise, you were entirely captivated by his idiosyncrasies. His accent was charming, and he was quite possibly the most darling person you had ever met. He told you about his roommates, scowling when he mentioned that Deacon hadn’t done his chores in years.

“No way,” you said. “Five years?”

“I know right?” Viago replied. “Deacon is a really cool dude, but kind of the too-cool-for-rules type.”

“How do you even have the patience for that?” you questioned. “Back in university, I had a flatmate who never did his own dishes. I couldn’t take it. I kicked him out after three months.”

“Yes, well. Deacon seems to enjoy testing my patience,” he admitted.

“Have you tried just getting paper plates?” you suggested.

He stopped and blinked at you, astonished with the revelation. “No, I guess we haven’t.”

“How about your other roommates? What are they like?” you ask.

“Vladislav is…” He hums, looking for the right word. “Intense, and old-fashioned. Petyr has been around longer than dirt.”

“They sound interesting. Maybe I’ll get to meet them one day,” you mused. His eyes widened. You rushed to backtrack. “Oh my– I’m sorry. Was that too much?”

That’s when you found that Viago had this way of giggling that had your nerves disappear and your heart absolutely melt. You could’ve gotten a toothache with how sweet the sight and sound of it was.

“No, you’re not too much,” he said.

By the time you reached your house, your feet hurt and your stamina was a bit drained, but you were beaming wide.

“I don’t want this night to end,” you confessed with a pout, hands still in his. He opened his mouth to speak, but you cut him off– he was deliriously tempting and you were entirely confident that you wouldn’t be able to reject him if he offered to come inside. “But it has to.”

“I want to see you again,” he admitted.

You stepped into his space, dangling your arms around his neck and running one elegant hand through his dark hair. You stayed there for a moment, appreciating his beauty, using the hand that wasn’t in his hair to run your thumb over his bottom lip. He tilted his head down, his mouth almost touching your neck.

Instead, you tugged at his hair to keep his mouth right where it had been and masked how much it killed you to reject him with a teasing grin. If his lips ended up on your neck, you would absolutely die and your will would be demolished.

“I’m off work Thursday night,” you told him. “Come by around seven?”

He did that thing again– that giddy, crinkled up nose smile. Feeling your patience with yourself run too thin, you kissed him on the cheek and bolted inside.

———

After Viago left, a camera crew requested an interview with you.

“How do I feel about Viago?” you asked, repeating their question back to them.

You shook your head and hid your blushing face in your hands before deciding that hiding it wasn’t enough. You reached for a pillow on your couch, smushed your face into it, and squealed like a little kid. The question was just too much to answer. Everything was too much– the way he made you feel, the excitement of seeing him Wednesday night, how badly you wished to kiss him, the self-pride you felt for being able to control yourself and respect your own boundaries. Everything.

Especially the way he said You’re not too much. He could’ve said that you wanting to meet his roommates wasn’t too much, but no– he said you weren’t too much. You were so used to people finding you to be too much that his little reassurance (which he probably didn’t even realize that he said) played over and over in your head.

“Why didn’t you invite him in?” the interviewer asked.

Your eyes peeked out from behind the pillow and sighed, ready to give a more thoughtful response.

“I have a pretty atrocious romantic history,” you admitted. “That’s why I need to take things slow and not rush headfirst into this. Viago is…” You shook your head and smiled, eyes looking down at the thread you were toying with poking out of the pillow. “He’s just wonderful. I don’t want to mess things up.”

———

“The human? Yeah, I’m definitely going to kill them,” he admitted to the camera lens. He smiled bashfully. “Tonight was nice, though. I think they had a good time.”

#writing in the documentary is [viago voice] so. much. fun!#the title is a pun get it coz reader is about to die >:) (not really)#i’m so excited to post more but i have to clean them up first !#time to clout chase in the tags #speaking of tags erm-- tag list anyone?#wwdits x reader #wwdits imagine #what we do in the shadows x reader #what we do in the shadows imagine #viago x reader #viago imagine #my writing #x reader

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deceitfuldevil · 2 years

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Touch

Matt Murdock X Reader

Summary: You were born with achromatopsia, a condition causing you to not be able to see any color in your life. It was described best as living your life in an old black and white movie. But you had a medical condition that caused you to not be able to see color, so why were you seeing color when you came in contact with a certain blind lawyer? It didn’t make sense, but you had to pursue it. Go after your chance to see the world in color.

Warnings: borderline soulmate AU?? Karen being uncharacteristic, mentions of fainting, swearing, overuse of italics, kissing, fluff, mentions of hospitals and doctors, not proofread yet, I think the reader is referred to using she/her pronouns?

Word Count: 5.8K (whoops)

It was all so normal, so mundane; until it wasn’t.

Just another day walking along the busy streets of Manhattan, shuffling by hundreds of people just like you trying to make their daily commute to work. As you rounded a corner you side swiped a blind man with a guide cane by accident, you turned to face him and apologize. Then you were overwhelmed with shock, overwhelmed with the sight of color.

There it was, forming all around you and screaming in your face. Beautiful, bright and vibrant color, It had to be, this is what people had been describing to you your whole life. You looked back to the man you had meant to form an apology to, and he was just continuing on his way. As he rounded the corner you could see the aggressive colored lenses that adorned his face and suddenly the world was hazy, spinning and tilting all around.

The man completely disappeared onto the next street as your eyes jumped from one point of interest to the next. The rush of color everywhere was so overstimulating that before you knew it, it was all gone. More than gone in fact, everything was going black as you were pretty sure you were losing your balance. Those around started to calmor as you smiled blissfully, overwhelmed with color as you let it take you over before it all faded out completely.

When you woke up, it was dull again; everything was dull.

Tears form in your eyes as you desperately search around frantically. Looking for a drop of the vibrance that overwhelmed you earlier. Apparently it overwhelmed you to the point of fainting in the middle of a busy New York sidewalk, because as you sat up and tears streamed down your face at the lack of color surrounding you a pair of nurses came rushing in, an unimpressed looking doctor following behind theme in suit as the nursed tended to you.

“I can’t see.” you cried, scaring the nurses for a moment. “The color, it’s gone.” you continued to cry as you brought your knees to your chest, the doctor standing at the end of your hospital bed looking unimpressed.

“Now Ms. L/n, it says here that you have achromatopsia. So you’ve never been able to see color, correct?” The doctor said flatly, and the way he said it felt mocking.

“Yes, but-” you started.

“Then you should be all set after we get the paperwork for you, it seems you just fainted because of the heat wave going on. That’s all, have a nice day.” The doctor said with an empty voice, leaving the room just as quickly as he entered while the nurses took your IV out.

“Color.” you spoke. “I could see color.” you added, turning to one of the nurses who was worked beyond her limit and couldn’t seem to care less. “I’ll bring your discharge paperwork in a minute.” she said briefly, then left the room. The other nurse was in the corner at a computer searching something up, before writing something down and handing you a post-it note with a name and number on it.

“This is the number of a really good shrink in town, you should go see him.” she said with a smile as you took the post-note out of politeness and shock. Watching her leave the room, as you sat in disbelief at the audacity of people today. You signed the discharged papers, and went on your way home.

Taking the day off work, and explaining to your disgruntled boss that you weren’t late to work but in fact had landed yourself in the hospital, you waltzed around your apartment in a disgruntled manner; displeased with the lack of color surrounding you.

You couldn’t stop thinking about it, about the rush of color you had seen. You knew what you had seen, what everyone had always said had been true. Color was this beautiful, vibrant thing that brought so much life into this world. You’d be damned if you went the rest of your life without seeing it ever again.

Your subconscious was as stubborn as you, because you now dreamed in color as well.

Well, maybe ‘dream’ wasn't the right term. Every night, you just relived the same moment you saw color. For months. Once again the world was mundane, the only part of your life you enjoyed was the color you got to see in your dreams. You lacked care for your waking reality until your dream started to blend into reality. You knew you were consciously awake, so what did you just see? Once again making your way to work, the same man you saw when your world exploded with color was passing by you again. Only this time the world wasn’t screaming with intense chromatics, it was just him. Or really, his glasses.

Your legs kept carrying you down the sidewalk but your eyes followed the seemingly blind man as he shuffled behind another pedestrian, the glasses that rested on his face lit up in a bright passionate shade of. . . some color you’d very much like to see more of. You made your way to work, but the blind man with the adenvertous lenses never left your mind.

Since the flash of color wouldn’t leave your mind, you decided to take a visit to your optometrist after work. But after a routine eye exam, your doctor was having none of your claims that you could see color.

“I’m not sure what to tell you Ms. L/n, there’s no change in your eyes or your condition. I’m not quite sure what you think you saw, but based on the state of your eyes it wasn’t color. I’m sorry.” Your optometrist said dutifully, rolling away on his chair and flicking the lights to the exam room back on.

“Dr. Sawyer you have to believe me, this wasn’t even like the last time! It was just one thing, these glasses, I don’t know what color it was but it just—”

“Did it look like this color? What about this one? Or this?” Dr. Sawyer said, cutting you off and showing you a variety of color samples. He was getting impatient with you, and you were disappointed to only be seeing black and white.

“Thanks for seeing me on such short notice Doctor, goodbye.” You said bitterly, not loving how right he was as you stormed out the doors.

That evening you sat on your couch with a box of takeout, turning on your favorite show. That didn't last long before your show was interrupted with the local newscaster looking gleeful. “We interrupt this program to bring you breaking news. Right in the heart of Hell’s Kitchen just a few months ago Wilson Fisk was revealed to be a kingpin of crime in the city, and tonight he’s officially been charged with involvement in various criminal activities. Here’s the small-time firm lawyers who put him away, Nelson and Murdock.

When the pair of lawyers came on screen, it was hard to not immediately place a member of the law firm's pair as the man you had seen in color. He was identified as Matthew Murdock, and although nothing was in color at the moment you recognized him in a heartbeat.

You rushed around your apartment to find a pen and paper, writing down the firm’s name and the name of the lawyer who you’d be paying a visit to. After a few days of panicking with this information you now possess and pacing back and forth in your place before gaining enough self confidence to bring yourself to the office of Nelson and Murdock.

Letting out a shaky breath once you reached the door of Nelson and Murdock, you reached an unsteady hand towards the doorknob. Another client leaving the office beat you to the chase though, opening the door and flashing a polite smile at the sight of you and leaving the door open for you. A blonde haired woman seated at a small desk in the front area peaked out at the open door you stood in the frame of.

“Hi, you can come on in..” she paused, waiting for you to step inside. After you had done so, she continued. “What can I help you with today?”

“Hi I um, I need to talk Mr. Murdock? Matt?” you said quietly, as if everyone knew why you were there.

“About what?” she asked expectantly, and with the ‘well, why?’ look she was giving you, apparently just needing to speak with Matt wasn’t enough of a reason to speak with him at all. You couldn’t blame the reasoning though, he was a lawyer and at his job.

“I’m going after my. . . optometrist. Yes, I believe he purposely misdiagnosed me to save himself the work of treating me.” You made up on the spot, and on some level you would’ve liked that statement to be true. The blonde gave you a skeptical look for a moment before taking your name and number and telling you to have a seat.

Twenty-seven painstakingly slow minutes later, he exited his office space and called out for a one “Ms. L/n?”. You looked up from your seat, the sightless man was not in color but your body was buzzing with anticipation as you stood up and walked towards him. Your body running on auto-piolot once you stood in front of him, eyeing his stretched out hand as he introduced himself and extended your arm in return. Your hand running on its own accord as you shook his firmly, if you felt in control of yourself at all right now, that would not have been the move you’d made. Because now your world was exploding with color once again.

You could feel your heart begging to beat outside your chest as you took a shaky step back to stabilize yourself, now Matt was used to women becoming flustered in his presence but not like this. Then Matt realized that something was off with your heart rate, you were more than just excited. “Are you alright Ms. L/n” he asked cautiously.

No, you were most definitely not alright. But that didn’t matter right now, right now you needed to be alright. You were determined to not faint this time. “Yes, yes you’re just so, this office is so, wow.” you said in a tone of breathless awe looking around his office that is what most others would consider a dull-looking office.

“Why don’t you take a seat?” Matt suggested, taking a step back from the doorway to his office to allow you inside. But it was too late, you were already going down. Matt used his superhuman reflexes to catch you before you hit the floor, calling out to Foggy and Karen for help. “Jesus Matt when I called you a lady-killer this morning I didn’t expect you to take it seriously.” Foggy joked at the worst time, helping Matt to sit you up as Karen called 911.

—

You awoke to a pounding in your head and vacant baby blue walls surrounding you. . . and a child’s cartoon playing softly out of the corner of your room. You lifted your sore head and turned to see a shaggy haired blond man sitting nicely in the corner chair of your room, continuing to watch the cartoon until he noticed you were awake. After fumbling with the remote he stood up and came to your bedside.

“Hi, I’m Foggy. Nelson. Of Nelson and Murdock.” He said gantly, staring at you waiting for a response, but then adding to his introduction before you had time to form one. “The firm you were at earlier today, where you fainted. . .” he paused for another moment, leaving you unsure if you should respond. “Sorry,” apparently not. “Wasn’t sure if you remembered.” After giving him a few more moments to say anything else, you responded.

“No, yes sorry. I remember that, I just didn’t think I’d be seeing you.” you said solemnly, your words coming with an unintended sting towards Foggy.

“Sorry, I know you were probably expecting the handsome half of Nelson and Murdock.” Foggy half joked, not really sure what to say in this situation.

“No no, it’s not that it’s just that, I can’t see color again.” you said quietly.

“Again?” Foggy questioned.

“Oh um. . .” you pondered for a moment, trying to decide if telling the blind man’s partner and seemingly best friend about your situation was the best idea. “Promise you won’t think I’m crazy?” you decided yes, what’s the worst that could happen?

“I assure you I’ve heard crazier and brushed it off as just another Tuesday.” Foggy promised, allowing for you to tell him everything.

—

“Okay so. . . let me get this straight.” Foggy said, shaking his head to clear his thoughts as he attempted to get your situation straight. “You have acro..tropica?”.

“Achromatopsia, but yes go on.”

“Yeah yeah, so basically you can’t see any color. . . but when you touch Matt, you can see color?”

“Yes, correct.”

“Okay.” Foggy said as if it wasn’t the most odd thing he’d heard today, clasping his hands as he leaned back in his chair with a sigh.

“Okay??” You repeated back at him.

“Okay.. I’ll talk to him.” Foggy added.

“Talk to who? To Matt?”

“Who else?!”

“..and tell him what? ‘Hey that crazy client that fainted in your office earlier? Well turns out she’s completely color blind but claims she can see color when you touch her’?? Foggy! No! That sounds like the most convoluted way for a virgin to get somebody to finger them!”

“Okay then what do you want me to tell him? He’s gonna ask about you y’know.” Foggy said assuredly.

“He is?” you asked with a hopeful tone.

“Get over yourself, not in that way. You were a potential client who fainted in his office, he’s inclined to know you’re okay and not planning to sue.”

Foggy and you had been conserving for the past two hours and he quickly went from professional lawyer to sassy bestie in about 20 minutes.

“Do you believe me?” you asked softly.

“Just in this past week I’ve heard about a teenager dressed as a spider, some scientist falling into a vat of eels and gaining eclectic powers, and a black hole we can travel through discovered in space; and it’s only Monday. The possibility that a blind man is making you see color is the most normal thing I've heard, so yes, I believe you.”

“Will Matt?” you furthered on brushing over Foggy’s labyrinthine response, but this time he fell silent. The hopeful look in your eyes made Foggy more than halfway inclined to believe your situation, and he whispered a small “I hope so.” as he gave you his card and bid you goodnight while a nurse handed you some discharge papers.

—

“. . .and you’re sure she wasn’t sent by Fisk? He only just got transferred to prison, he could’ve sent her before he was no longer allowed visitors. Send her to go after me for putting him away, maybe he’s coming after me and using an attractive woman as bait because he knows-”

“Matt!” Foggy cut him off. “I don’t think she works for Fisk, this seemed like a real issue, something that’s been really bothering her.” he concluded with a frustrated tone, not a fan of how paranoid Matt’s been since locking Fisk up. Not to say Matt wasn’t justified.

“Even if she doesn’t work for Fisk. . . I don't want to meet with her again. I’m not ready for a relationship like that.” Matt said lowly, shuffling some papers together as he stood up to collect his things.

“A relationship like what? Where you give some nice girl the ability to see color? She’s not asking to marry you Matt, I think she just wants to see the true beauty this world has to offer!” Foggy tried to reason, seeming to forget who’s ears his words were falling onto.

“Yeah, wouldn’t we all?” Matt said with a slight chuckle, grabbing his coat from a rack.

“You know I didn’t mean it like that. . .” Foggy’s words fell short with embarrassment.

“Yeah, sure. Goodnight Foggy.” Matt said, trying to bid his goodbye as he opened the door to leave.

“Matt!” Foggy called out a bit sternly, causing Matt to stop in the doorway but not turn around to face Foggy.

“You’ve always said you’d do anything to see the sun one more time, and now this completely color blind girl swears on her life she can see color when she touches you, and obviously wants more color in her life which is why she’s pursuing you. You can’t tell me that if you had a chance like that to see again you wouldn’t do the same thing she’s doing.”

Foggy spoke the truth, but Matt never turned around or responded and just went on his way out of the office without another word.

You tried visiting the office of Nelson and Murdock again, but when you entered Matt was always closing the door to his office. Sometimes you’d stay for a chat with Foggy, never knowing the way Matt listened in and hung on every word you said. Unbeknownst to you Matt couldn't live with himself and the way he was avoiding you, but also didn’t know how to go about changing his ways now. It wasn’t until your 4th or 5th visit the law office when you were wearing a particularly potent perfume that Matt knew what to do.

The perfume gave you a scent still traceable in Matt’s strong nose as the work day ended. So he uncharacteristically left the office at five p.m sharp and followed your scent throughout New York city, zeroing in on you when he entered a small $1 pizza joint. You immediately turned to the door at the sound of the bell, seeing none other than the man you had been trying to pursue for weeks standing there looking inquisitive for a moment. Your heart rate was going wayyy up and with your perfume filling his nostrils and your heartbeat pounding in his ears, Matt was sure it was definitely you. Now all he had to do was order, sit directly across from you, and wait for you to approach him.

Approach him you did, have words prepared you did not.

“Hello?” Matt said hesitantly, as if he didn’t know you were right there.

“Hi Matt, it’s Y/n? Y/n L/n?” You said gently, chewing on your lip as you watched him rack his brain as if he didn’t know who you were and hadn’t been closing his office door at the sound of your name for weeks now. “The woman who fainted in your office a few weeks ago?” you deadpanned, not buying his mock-wonder for who you are.

Before Matt could respond, you continued on: “I know Foggy told you about my condition, and I know he told you I can see color when you touch me. I know you’ve been avoiding me, all I don’t know is why.” you concluded, being very upfront about this whole thing.

Matt was truthfully at a loss for words, so he didn’t say anything, instead he held out his hand for you to take. You stood frozen for a moment, realizing what he was allowing you to do. But this is what you’ve been chasing, so you placed your hand in his and let the color flourish.

Instantly it all came rushing back into your line of sight, the bright color of the lettered sign behind the counter that left you feeling happy and energetic. The different shades of the rich looking color lining the tiled walls, and even the dust pile left unswept in a corner of the store looked more vibrant than before. It felt so amazing and looked even better, a smile bloomed on your face as Matt could feel your heart rate dancing joyously underneath his fingertips and he held your hands in his. In a expirimentive manner, Matt gave your hand a small squeeze and your reaction was better than he could’ve imagined.

A small gasp was drawn in between your lips as your heart rate danced even faster, a ripple of vibrance rolling through your vision as your smile turned into a full blown ecstatic grin.

“Tell me what you see.” Matt whispered quietly, leaning over to your ear as you were amidst the haze of color surrounding you.

“The color of the light is so blissfully artificial, so different from the sun; and the cheese on my pizza seems to be 2 or 3 different colors mixed in.” You said making the pizza shop seem so much more beautiful than it truly was.

“Anything else?” Matt pressed, lips now impossibly closer to your ear. Suddenly aware of his sudden closeness, your head turned back to face him. Leaning back so that your noses were just inches apart. “Your glasses.” you said just barely above a whisper. “They’re my favorite shade of. . . well anything.” You said with a small laugh.

“You don’t know the names for any of the colors. . . do you?” Matt asked in a very accusatory way, but he wasn’t wrong. You nodded in a moment of forgetfulness, but Matt continued nevertheless. “Why don't you come by my office tomorrow, and I’ll teach you some?” he said seductively, as if he’d be teaching you more than just colors. You nodded again and Matt flashed a devilish smile before leaving the pizza shop without another word.

Now you were left standing alone in an empty pizza shop, still marveling at the color surrounding you. Then you realized this was the first time you’d seen color without fainting, and immediately left the shop to go out and see the world. Your apartment may have been 32 blocks away but you were more than willing to walk it today, and even once you got home the color was still there. Your colored vision actually became an issue because it was now 2am and you could still see color, and you weren’t sure if it seemed duller because maybe the color was wearing off or maybe you were just that tired. So tired that before you knew it, all was fading from your line of sight as you drifted off to sleep.

Once you realized you had fallen asleep, you shot back up in bed some time in the late morning. Looking around frantically before realizing your world lacked color once more, then sulking back down into your bed. That was until you remembered the man who allows you to see color had invited you to his office yesterday to do just that. Hopping out of bed with the excitement of a kid on christmas to get dressed and out the door to Nelson and Murdock, entering the office with confidence this time.

You didn’t even need to converse with Karen because Matt was already opening his door as you entered the office. Throwing out all rationality left in your body you stepped quickly towards Matt and threw your arms around him, moving with him as he quickly stepped out of his doorway and closed the door behind him. You needed to see color again, you needed him.

Matt stood there with his arms at his sides, unsure what to do. Just as he was about to embrace you back, you gained some sense of semblance and unlatched your arms from around his neck and dropped back to your flat feet on the floor.

“I uh, I have a book for you.” Matt said awkwardly, stepping back and taking a seat at his desk while pulling up a stool next to him and patting it to invite you over. Once you sat next to him, he pulled out a small children’s book from a drawer that was titled “Color Me What?” and subtitled “a color identifying book for toddlers”. In Matt’s defense, it was this or a colorblind testing book used by optometrists.

“I’ve cleared my schedule for the day, I thought I could teach you the names for some colors. . . if you’d let me?” Matt asked gently, extending his hand out to you once again.

“Wow so when he said ‘I’ll teach you all the colors, baby’ he meant it literally.” You thought silently to yourself, okay maybe he didn’t say it exactly like that but still. . . you didn’t think he was serious. Nevertheless a good opportunity presented itself, to touch Matt Murdock and to see color.

You spent the next who-knows-how-many hours seated closely next to Matt as you reviewed and studied all the colors of the rainbow and more, your hands joined together resting on your knee the whole time.

The more ‘color study’ sessions you and Matt had, the less professional they became. They went from meeting at his office, to meeting at a diner, to a fancy restaurant, to his apartment. Matt tested you on the color of various objects in your line of sight to keep you on your toes throughout these sessions, but your answers went from “your desk is a rich shade of. . . brown.” to “the leather of your couch looks like a worn walnut.” you said with a giggle spotting Matt’s offended look as he sat next to you on his worn walnut colored couch while he handed you a glass of water.

As personal and intimate as your color study sessions got, they never got intimate enough for you. To rephrase, Matt still hadn’t kissed you. At the end of every session you were left wondering if that was supposed to help you learn color or if it was a date. Matt’s hands rested on your hips like a boyfriend, but his words taught you like a seasoned professor. With the way every squeeze of your hand made the color extra vibrant around you, you could only dream what kissing him would do to your vision.

You sat snuggled up next to Matt as his arm rested over your shoulders holding you close, describing all the different colors you could see in his apartment; having an absolute field-day with the electronic billboard outside his apartment. You hand rested on Matt’s toned chest and you could feel his heart flutter as you described all the beautiful sights around you. Until his chest and whole body tense up and he sat up for a moment, his head tilted to one side seemingly in concentration.

“Matty? Is everything alright?” you asked softly, reached one hand out to cup his face. But Matt harshly brushed your hand away and stood up abruptly, leaving you confused and scared as you made his way to his kitchen.

“You need to go home, y/n.” Matt said darkly.

“What? Matt, what's going on?” You said with a wavering voice.

“Don’t make me ask again.” He responded, his tone louder and firmer this time.

You didn’t dare speak another word as you felt tears begin to well up in your eyes, knowing your voice would break if you tried to say anything. Matt could taste the salt of your tears on his tongue but couldn’t let that stop him from shutting you out, not when he was coming. You left Matt’s apartment with a slam of his front door and quietly crying to yourself as you made your way home. Matt stayed in his kitchen sipping a beer, waiting for the inevitable.

“Still drinking that German piss I see.”

“Stick.” Matt said bitterly. “What are you doing here?”

“I’m here for the war, and we need you out there fighting with us and not in here cuddling up to your girlfriend.” Stick said with an intentional sting to his words.

“She’s not my girlfriend. . .” Matt muttered.

“Yeah but you sure wish she was. Christ kid you put Fisk away for two seconds and already think the world is safe again, getting yourself a hot piece of ass to parade around.”

“It’s not like that, and don’t speak of her in that way.”

“I won’t have to speak of her in any way once you drop her and come fight with us, they’re gonna come after you no matter what. So you might as well have a team for one, and leave her out of this so they don’t go after her as well.” Stick said informatively.

“Why would they bring her into this?” Matt asked, suddenly caring for what Stick had to say.

“Because you care about her Matt! They’re going to go after any and everyone you care about just to get to you. So you should leave her out of this and come fight with us.”

“I’ll leave her alone. . . but I’m not fighting your stupid war with you.”

“Okay, keep playing dress up in the streets and beating up ATM robbers like it makes a difference. Doesn’t matter to me.” Stick said dismissively, leaving Matt’s apartment just as quick as he came.

Matt didn’t sleep that night, calling the office at nine a.m sharp to let Karen know that you were no longer allowed on the premises and that he wouldn’t be in today. Having heard stranger requests from Matt, she agreed and let him go for the day. Matt fell asleep a few hours later to the sound of his phone ringing off the hook with your calls.

After about a week of calling Matt non-stop and trying to visit the office you were now apparently barred from, you gave up. Men could be incredibly mysterious and confusing, but this was a new level. You decided to drown your sorrows at Josie’s, because if you had nothing else at least you had the ability to get so shitfaced you forgot about the current predicament you were in.

Iris, patchouli, magnolia. It was a whirlwind of emotions that surged through Matt, a reminder of the irresistible love affair he had with you. It was that goddamn perfume again, he could smell it anywhere. Following the scent all the way to Josie’s, it was well past two in the morning after the bar had closed. Knowing that, Matt scanned the area and sensed a thumping heart on the curb of a bus stop. A bus that was no longer running this late in the night. Making sure no one else was around, Matt came to your aid. The intense scent of your perfume filling his senses as he gently brought one hand underneath your legs and the other holding your head as he carried you to the only place he could think of, his apartment.

Delicately placing you on his couch, Matt fetched a blanket for you. As he covered you up with the warm blanket his heart roared with a strong emotion he refused to acknowledge, instead opting to just place a small kiss to your forehead as he left you to rest for the night.

When you woke, your head was throbbing and pounding with regret for your actions from the night before. Opening your eyes and scanning around wherever you currently were, not immediately recognizing the apartment. But the realization that you were seeing in color hitting you first, then you realized why. This was Matt’s apartment. . . but you didn’t go home with Matt. The, oh god. The devil, the devil of Hell’s Kitchen took you here. Matt was. . .

“Matt!?” you shouted out in a panic, looking around frantically as you hugged your knees to your chest. Spotting a black a red suit hung over a chair before Matt emerged from his bedroom with gray sweatpants hanging low on his hips and a tight black tee shirt. You looked quickly between Matt and the suit rested on the chair.

“You’re. . . you’re.. Dared-” you tried to exclaim, but Matt was clasping his hand over your mouth in the blink of an eye.

“Yes.” Matt breathed you, his sightless gaze trying to meet your fearful eyes. “That's. . . that’s why I shut you out. I lead this life and I didn’t want you to get hurt by it.”

You stared at Matt for a moment, his eyes just missing the mark of yours as he removed his hand from over your mouth. “Matty. . .” you started off, reaching your hand out to his jaw; reminiscent of the last time you’d seen him. Only this time Matt didn’t push you away, but rather leaned into your touch. “I don’t care if you’re the devil of hell’s kitchen or some small-time lawyer, it doesn’t matter to me who you are or what you’ve done. I love you for you, I want to be with you and see all the beautiful colors this world has to offer every day; no matter what that looks like.” you assured him as a tear fell from your eye.

Now knowing his feelings were requited, Matt had no reason to hold back anymore. He mirrored you and brought a hand to your jaw and pulled you in for a searing kiss. His lips moved passionately against yours as if to say “I love you too, I think I always have.”.

When he pulled away and your eyes fluttered open, the world was more vibrant and colorful than ever. All because Matt Murdock gave you his touch.

—

A/N

I’ll be damned if I went without posting a fic at least every other week for the first time in months, so there I sat clocking out this fic mostly from the hours of 2am to 5am stoned out of my mind. Finishing it off right around the time I wanted to post it, before even eating or getting out of bed for the day. God tier way to spend my day off tbh. Fun fact I got the idea for this story when looking through my book ideas from 2017, and this whole idea was supposed to be a soulmate AU whole chapter story but I never got up to writing it so now that I actually did write it. . . it’s pretty long ;) anyways I hope you all enjoyed this fic and I promise I’ll proof-read it another time.

AND THANK YOU ALL SO FUCKING MUCH FOR 750 FOLLOWERS BY THE WAY!!! <3 !!! <3 !!! <3

Much Love,

—Skyler

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karoiseka · 9 months

Note

❤️ first kiss / realization (for either combo? for both? whichever takes your interest)

You get a Kar'a/Hyth! ^_^ (because I realize I've already done 2/3 First kiss fics already for the trio. lol)

Ikarus could tell she was being followed. To be fair, he wasn’t trying that hard not to be detected, and she was trained by Azem to notice that type of thing, especially outside of the city where things weren’t perfectly manicured and kept tidy. She had shed her mask at least a malm ago, and had decided to not lead her follower to her hideaway outside the city and instead, conjured a new outfit while striding through the forest. Azem–Venat–had asked her to check on one of her compatriots near the coast, and Ikarus had gladly–and quickly complied. She had realized after she had left that she had forgotten to tell her new paramour that she was leaving. This didn’t seem to be much of a problem now since he was the one following her.

As they had progressed further into the forest, and further away from the wide clear paths that led into Amaurot, she realized that she had been gaining some distance on him, so she slowed her steps to see what he would do–and maybe just how far he was willing to go. Hythlodaeus was an interesting one, having sought her out “by virtue of the color and vibrancy of her soul” he told her just the other evening. His soul sight was matched only by one other that Ikarus knew, and they hadn’t met just yet. Hythlodaeus and Ikarus though had fallen in stride with each other as if they had known each other for years instead of days, immediately getting into mischief around the city whenever they were together.

His soul sight was how he was following her she had figured out, knowing that he didn’t have the forestry knowledge to track her in any other way. This made for an interesting conundrum in her head, for she wanted to stop and surprise him and he would just stumble upon her in the path, however, if he was having to watch her via aether, he would know instantly that she had stopped and perhaps would also turn back.

So she did the only logical thing she could think of, and spun on her heel and sprinted at his location.

The strangled startled cry at this move gave her a better pinpoint, and using a bit of aether to boost her speed, she was standing in front of a very wide-eyed Hythlodaeus not a moment later.

“Hello,” her arms crossed as she watched his thoughts try to catch up with the revelation that she was suddenly in front of him, instead of out of visual range well ahead of him. Her blue eyes sparkled with amusement as she attempted to keep a straight face–and failed miserably as she finally got to look into his uncovered amethyst eyes. Belatedly she realized that they hadn’t actually removed their masks to each other, and she was surprised to see that he had removed his just as she had once well outside the city’s walls.

“By the Star, you’re beautiful!”

The words were said simultaneously–blurted out in near astonishment as they took in true appearances of each other for the first time since meeting. A blush crept up Ikarus’ face, yet, instead of turning away, Hyth stepped closer, reaching a hand up to cup her jawline. He moved slow enough she could have stopped him if she wanted, but her heart sang as he leaned in close and brushed her lips with his own. All tasks forgotten, she leaned into the embrace, a hand of her own reaching up under his braid to pull him down closer to her, even as their shared delighted laughter echoed through the trees.

#ffxiv #kar'azem #hythlodaeus #azem x hythlodaeus #ask me!#thank you!#this was fun #^_^#I will write more of these tomorrow #it has gotten much later than I thought... lol

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keanureevesisbae · 2 years

Text

Dear Evelyn - The Beginning

Sergeant Hank Voight x Evelyn Jones-Lesmono (Asian ofc)

Summary: Knowing he is on thin ice here, Voight and his team carefully question Evelyn about her husband.

Word count: 1k

Warnings: Mention of domestic abuse and violence. If this triggers you, please do not continue to read this story.

masterlist // dear evelyn masterlist //

Hank Voight knew about Evelyn Jones’s husband. Everyone knew about him. He’s Gary Jones, Superintendent of the Chicago PD. Hank therefore knew about her existent, saw her once at a party and she had introduced herself. Evelyn was beautiful and Gary was well aware of the attention she attracted. She made him likable, which he desperately needed, as he had a stick far up his ass.

However, having to look for her, because she and their five year old daughter Audrey had disappeared, was something he never thought he’d be doing.

Gary Jones, the Superintendent, had implored Intelligence to find his wife and daughter.

In all honesty, Hank never particularly liked Gary Jones. Quite the contrary even, he despised the man. Call it a gut feeling, but something was up.

But the disappearance of Evelyn Jones and her daughter Audrey, made Hank trust his gut feeling a little bit more.

Finding Evelyn and Audrey had to be hush hush, so Intelligence did their best to keep this internal. It took them two whole days before they had some clue about her whereabouts, after learning the details about her life before marriage and during marriage.

While Evelyn had been a vibrant college student, it was her father who set her up with Gary Jones. After that, the vibrancy disappeared from her eyes. Hank recognized the unhappy marriage when faced with the pictures.

The thing now was, they weren’t the only ones searching for Evelyn. As they secretly tracked Gary Jones, they discovered he too was looking for her in quite the unconventional way.

And now Hank, Antonio Dawson and Al Olinsky were standing in a hotel room, looking at Evelyn Jones, whose face said enough. Deep dark bruises on her jaw and cheekbones and marks on her arms. She probably has more, old and new, all across her body.

‘Evelyn,’ Hank said to break the silence. ‘I’m sergeant Voight.’

‘I recognize you,’ she said, her voice a little shaky.

‘You can trust us.’

‘No, no,’ she retorted. Her dark brown eyes were enlarged with fear and slightly red and swollen. ‘This might as well be my death sentence.’ Her thick hairs were put up in a messy ponytail and her clothes weren’t the designer clothing she wore in pictures. A tight black sports legging, with an oversized light blue hoodie and some black sneakers.

Audrey, who had inherited all of Evelyn’s physical traits and was basically a copy of her mother, stared up at her mother, grabbing her hand. ‘Mommy, are you okay?’ she asks. ‘Are they here to help us?’

Evelyn is still on edge, but she pulls herself back together and turns to her little girl. ‘Go color in the bathroom, okay?’

It was clear to Hank they were as thick as thieves, because without a question, Audrey made her way to the bedroom. She shyly waved at the officers, before walking in. After a quick peak inside, Hank saw they had been sleeping there. Had lived in the bathroom, as there were blankets and pillows in the tub.

‘Your husband asked us for help,’ Antonio explained, ‘however, we had reasons to believe we were just a cover story.’

She caught on quick. ‘He’s out there to kill me, isn’t he?’ She brought a shaky hand to her lips. Hank noted how she wasn’t wearing a ring anymore, while Gary thoroughly explained the two rings on her fingers. The engagement ring and their wedding ring.

Those were somewhere else.

He put his gun back in the holster and carefully made his way over to her. He approached her and once he was close enough, he gently placed a hand on her shoulder. She didn’t shiver, she didn’t scream nor shout. She let it happen.

‘Not on my watch,’ Hank told her. ‘But we can only help you if you tell us everything.’

Evelyn let out a sniffle. ‘I’m so scared.’

‘I get that, but we will not let anything happen to you nor your daughter, okay? If you tell us everything from the start, we are able to help you out.’

‘He isolated me from the rest of the world,’ she says. ‘I don’t have friends, I don’t have family left. I don’t have anyone, but I couldn’t afford to live one more moment under his roof, as Audrey saw what he did to me, heard all the nasty things he said to her.’

Before she can spill out more of the details, Antonio said: ‘Sarge, we gotta head out. Ten minutes max.’

‘Grab your stuff,’ Hank told her and she got to work instantly, making her way to the bathroom, where she started to gather the belongings. ‘Antonio, help her out.’

Antonio carefully made his way to the bathroom, making sure not to startle her. Al and Hank were quick to make sure this room appeared like it was unused. Antonio had two bags in his hands, while Evelyn had placed Audrey on her hip. She stopped in front of Hank. ‘I can really trust you?’ she asked. ‘I… I can’t go back there.’

Hank nodded. ‘I know and you don’t have to worry about that, because I’m not gonna let him get close to you or your daughter. Ever.’

It convinced her, because she nodded and followed them.

The five of them made their way out of the sleazy motel room and into the car. As they were crouched down in the backseat, Hank sat behind the wheel and drove off.

‘Mommy, are we going to be safe?’ Audrey asked her.

‘Yes baby, we’re gonna be safe. I promise,’ Evelyn whispered in a hoarse tone, but loud enough for the rest to hear. ‘I’ll always keep you safe, you know that.’

‘But who is going to keep you safe? These men?’

It stayed quiet for some time, but then she said: ‘Yes, they are.’

◛⑅·˚ ༘ ♡

Chicago PD taglist: @acdassenza // @wanniiieeee // @one-sweet-gubler // @sofiebstar //

#chicago pd #chicago pd fanfiction #hank voight #hank voight x ofc #hank voight fanfiction #hank voight x asian ofc #asian ofc #hank voight x evelyn jones-lesmono #evelyn jones-lesmono

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mur-art · 1 year

Note

For the music prompt: 10

I got the song "Gilded Lily" by Cults.

youtube

Did I stretch my interpretation of this song as an excuse to write angst about Hollywood!Cali? ...Maybe a bit.

Anyway, heavy angst ahead and TW for fun stuff like alcoholism, drugs, disordered eating, flashbacks, religious trauma, and possible implied body horror? idk. This fic goes to dark places so don't proceed if you're not cool with that.

Every city's got a graveyard

The service bought and paid for

Now I'm sleeping in the backyard

Passing out as night turns into day

Haven't I given enough, given enough?

The newspapers rave about the mysterious and alluring Cal Fremont, Hollywood's golden boy. He's got the power and charm to sway audiences. He's got a hypnotizing gaze that sells out theaters. He's in film after film– sometimes front and center, other times in the background, but he always steals the show. The years go by and his youthful beauty doesn’t fade. (It’s almost unnerving.)

His life is an endless parade of agents and studios. They say he's "perfect," but never hesitate to tell him how much more perfect he could be.

But by now, he's used to it.

You have to behave yourself, the “holy” men said. You’re supposed to set a good example. You’ve been chosen by God for a higher purpose. Give up your sinful ways and follow our rules. Work hard. Keep your head down. Don’t fight back.

The studio makes him sign a “morality” clause. Cal makes a long list of promises that he has no intention of keeping. He plays the perfect “boy next door” by day, whenever the cameras are on. It’s never enough to shut the rumors down. Cal has never been one to keep quiet and play by the rules. How can he, when the ones enforcing the rules have always been the ones who harm him the most?

It was exciting at first. People were coming from all over the world because he had something valuable: gold. But soon the excitement turned to fear. How far would they go to get what they wanted? Would they ever listen if he told them how much it hurt? Or would they forget about him the second they found something better?

“He’s our most profitable star this year,” they say. He’s bringing the studio millions of dollars. They’re working him to the bone with long days, hot lights, and toxic makeup. He’s given them all of himself, but they still demand more. How much more can he possibly give without giving up everything?

The rivers stopped flowing to the ocean. They were rerouted, dammed up for agriculture, channeled into aqueducts, their natural banks replaced with cold concrete.

Some tabloid makes a snide comment about Cal's weight. He stops eating in front of people, replacing his cravings for food with a habit of binge drinking. No one cares. They just tell him how much better he looks now. They can’t see that he’s wasting away slowly. Even if they could, they wouldn’t care as long he was making them money.

Vast fields of mustard bloom yellow every spring. It's beautiful, but it doesn't belong there. It's an invasive species, choking out the vibrance of the native flowers.

Cal dyes his hair blonde to look the part. His agents tell him that it makes him look more "all-American." Every time he walks by a mirror, he checks the roots obsessively for any signs of his natural dark hair growing back. That would ruin the illusion, as they say. He tells himself he looks better this way anyway. Maybe if he repeats it often enough, he’ll actually believe it.

The logging companies cut the redwoods. The beauty of the forests meant nothing to them; they saw the trees as profit, and nothing more. Sure, they might grow back, but will it ever be the same?

They decide that his nose is "too wide," whatever that means. They give him some pills to take, and he wakes up days later in a daze with bandages on his face. When the swelling goes down, he looks at his face in the mirror and barely recognizes himself. They say he’s even more beautiful now.

But no matter how beautiful he is, no matter how much he gives, no matter how he acts… he’ll never be good enough. They’ll always want

MORE.

But he has nothing more to give.

Cal Fremont causes one last stir in Hollywood when he disappears under mysterious circumstances. The tabloids have a field day. Some say he overdosed; others say he died by his own hand. Others swear they’ve seen him in the decades since, seemingly having never aged a day.

#wttt california #mur writes #mur drabbles #angst because we love cali angst #i swear i'll write a happy one next #i just think a lot about how what hollywood does to people is a perfect metaphor #for how humans have changed the landscape of the state itself #so i wanted to explore that a bit

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fourtyfourcatss · 6 months

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୨⎯ "for @toyafreethoughts" ⎯୧

PART 1

[a/n] so in order to make things less clotted, i’m going to be posting in two parts! this has 5 of your matchups, while the other one coming in a few days will have the rest so you dont have to wait so long! (even though you said you can wait, snack on these for a bit!)

BSD ✯ MUSHITARO OGURI !

✯ oh my god the two of you are absolutely horrific to the people around you. x times x is equivalent to x^2 and that applies to your messy chaos together. mushitaro is the silliest man out there while keeping a straight face (always). the relationship is going to be that kind where its so chaotic (mostly because of him) but like, you dont feel that its chaotic. something major would be happening and with his dramatics, you’re kind of not surprised of anything anymore lol. hes a bonafide theatre kid in his soul, jax. he’s definitely going to (fake) faint into your arms or whisper something exceedingly obvious to you aloud whilst he is on another tangent. “hold me jax!” — gets very needy sometimes and he’s not afraid to show it

✯ “youre a genius, jax!” he says as you chime in with your thoughts. he thinks your words are deeply thought provoking sometimes, and might spend a few seconds thinking of a response before responding

✯ at first he’s like, half half being able to read whether or not your words are genuine or sarcastic or whatnot. but he loves reading! he won’t give up on trying to differentiate and understanding the connotations and meanings behind your words, not until he can properly understand what you are trying to express! this creates a lot of tension at first, since he thinks you were subtly poking at him, however, as your bond deepens, he starts to truly understand you as a person. and he wants to see you for you.

✯ he thinks you are very refined in your way of thinking and your actions of consideration. he gets you with the anger — he himself does not have a good temperament when things do not go to plan, but, it is not so bad of a thing. the two of you can work on it together, thats what lovers are for, taking and learning the good parts from your lover and reflecting on oneself. at times like these, he needs to ground himself, holding your hand tightly, fingers intertwined. you’re here with me, right?

✯ he admires you often times. the littlest actions of yours build up so strongly inside his heart, the way you would share your baked goods with your friends and acquaintances, the relationship you have with your family and your culture and dancing. its wonderful, absolutely engaging to his allured mind. while i do not see his extremely active participation, i see his gaze on you. unbearably soft in contrast to his brash outbursts.

✯ he has a very thick face, and doesnt get embarrassed easily. it takes a lot, a lot more than anything you will do to make him embarrassed - especially as a lover and a friend and a person in general. why should he? you’re a kind soul inside; he always knows he can trust that.

✯ sometimes there will be moments of dramatic mood shifts — suddenly the atmosphere’s turning sweet and somber around the two of you. sweet winds from the patio combing through your hair, watching you draw.

JJK ✯ TOJI FUSHIGURO !

✯ toji is… very adamant in accepting your help. this is a very curious development and a first to occur. he’s very taken aback by your emotional maturity during harsh times and your vibrancy after breaking out the shy outer shell! it exposes him to another light of you that he becomes enamored with from the beginning, and deeper down the rabbit hole as time passes. falling out of love? not a thing around here partner. and your upright countenance, always standing for your values and your loves, and it just squeezes his heart - because he knows and he doesnt know how that feels. in the zenin clan, there’s always an oppressing hand, a choking grasp, and he couldnt fight back until later onwards - yet all the same, he would forget his ways from time to time. you are like the moon reflecting the sun’s light, the closest celestial body to earth, reining him in like waves, a constant he realizes after being with you has made him hope again. you won’t leave, he knows you will not.

✯ you always somehow brighten up his day immensely with your actions and remarks, big and small. and by immensely, i mean you pull this man out of depression with your realism, yet unending strive to look forward. seeing you pack lunches for megumi and tsumiki, your compassion for other human beings. you’re an amazing catalyst and source of motivation for him to better himself.

✯ you know how some guys want to show off to the people they like? he does this whenever he can. toji is the type of man who knows hes attractive to others, but does not particularly think he is attractive to himself. he has neutral feelings about it. but, he enjoys caging you in his presence. your energy makes him want to stay close to you, and thats what he does. he really, really likes your hugs, i dont know why i think so but i feel like he would just love hugging you as you draw or read or game. a sleepy toji on your shoulder. but he knows you feel very uncomfortable with hugs — so arm links while holding hands is enough! if you can, use him as your muse for drawing! or perhaps a model. he would feel very flattered either way. you surprise him a lot with the combination of actions and things you say, and seeing his widened eyes is a common sight! he loves your lap too.

✯ not only that, he’s definitely the type to pull you in by the belt loops for a kiss! you get surprised in the summer with your favorite soft drinks being suddenly placed on your nape, and you look back to see him, lightly smiling and handing you what little things he may get you. toji is a very frugal man, so except for anniversaries, gifts are very simple but effective! power couple fr

DR1 ✯ MONDO OWADA!

✯ absolutely NOBODY expected the two of you to get together - not even the two of you yourselves. it’s been some time since ive played DR1, so excuse me for any mayhaps!

✯ a surmountable part of mondo’s character is that he is a man of honor, someone who is blazing inside with passion that is tilted so easily off the scale, someone who can reach out to you first and get you comfortable. you balance him out devastatingly well, keeping his unique traits and outstanding qualities, and toning down his temperament. your relationship with him is so gentle, he tries so hard to be tender with you. that’s because of your own characteristics, he feels deeply and connects with your own set of values. i can tell you are a sensible person who loves the people around you, and with what you’ve said about gratitude, mondo falls for you because of that first, and then everything next. you make him feel hyped up for things, and you make him see reason when he gets too heated under the collar. you make him feel like himself. you genuinely better him with your compassion - humbling him internally and helping him overcome his weakness. the two of you are so cute when you first meet! both of you are shy in your own ways, which is outputted on different ways too.

✯ he’s amazing at all sports, and definitely shows off while hes on the field. mans probably pointing and saying “this is for jax!” to the audiences. silly man has silly wants and needs.

✯ what he loves receiving from you is your words and your thoughts. your moods of deep contemplation fascinates him greatly, and he listens to everything you have to say like the apostle of a deity. many times i see him asking you for some advice and comfort, since he trusts your judgement.

✯ you have a free biker gang completely protecting you now. absolutely safe from everything in that territory, they treat you like a prince! and he treats you like a king. he definitely likes doing the princess carry on you, and riding his bike through the city with you at his back. the latter will definitely take some time to build up to due to the trauma he has received - he doesnt want to lose another person to a traffic accident - no. but, slowly, he learns to trust himself again, and drives very safe!

✯ the two of you share airbuds to listen to whatever you want! he has an adoration to you enough that he can tolerate almost anything - play thought vocaloid songs and those k/j-pop songs! he’ll find enjoyment with you, and thus enjoyment in that too. happiness is associated with you, growth is associated with you. he thinks he can go anywhere as long as he has you near him.

GORO AKECHI ✯ P5 !

✯ bro really thought romance couldnt catch up to him, but he is dead wrong. you are here and ready to steal his cold little heart.

✯ the two of you have a little sort of one-upping rivalry at first. it was never that serious with you, but he made it serious, he took it as a challenge and then the other phantom thieves fanned it, and it escalated. cue rivals to lovers! now that im thinking about it, you have a very particular taste in men, mostly the ones who people would usually keep away from association in real life if they were here.

✯ you are a miracle worker opening him up to his vulnerabilities. he absolutely loathes you for that, and he loathes how hardworking you are or how you smile or — everything he likes about you he also hates — but he cannot escape that little part of him that absolutely loves being seen and acknowledged. your independence is something he understands well, but in your case it seems to be natural, not nurtured like him, who was forced to be independent and never having a shoulder to lean on. he hides his exterior with this shell, but he’s so gooey and soft like an amazing chocolate chip cookie on the inside.

✯ he definitely is intrigued by you. he has to remark your music taste is not bad, however he will always prefer jazz. your inclination towards instruments though? that he is most interested in. what instruments do you play? may he come over sometime to hear your playing? your dancing too - dont be surprised when you spot a tuff of light brown hair if you perform, be it for any type of events. he’s a detective! he says in order to deter saejima’s teasing, he is a curious soul, just like you. thats why, he wants to know everything, and understand everything. it’s impossible to understand everything about a human being though, and there are many traits he must dash before he can truly enter a healthy relationship with you. you have time, but it is ticking closer and closer to the days where the consequences of his actions will catch up to him. nobody can ever take back what they have already done — but he trusts in your heart, and knows you will be waiting for him. do not worry though, it will not be a long wait.

✯ he spoils you rotten (those extra checks finally comes to show it’s face) and when you start piling little pieces your things into his apartment, he starts to really roll under this thing called love. forgetting your sweater or perhaps an earring or accessory when you visit, and he gets hit with a pang of his heart whenever he smells the scent you use for your laundry or the shampoo when he gets close to you.

✯ as a thief, he’s also very good with his hands. he partakes in your hobbies with you actively, especially pottery and puppetry. someone will make some mini puppets of you and him, and he would blush when he puts the lips of the puppets together lol. he’s cute and weird in love. he’s always looking and observing and etching your movements into his eyelids, boisterous but not sharp words. like sitting in a quiet cafe together, just the two of you.

KNY ✯ ENMU!

✯ for this one i the one caught off guard. enmu? it really secured down to me what type you have when it comes to men. here’s the thing: i have no confidence writing enmu whatsoever, but i’ll try my best anyways and see how it works!

✯ enmu is a very indulgent lover. for a demon who eats humans, he sure knows how to treat his human lover well - like many other human demon romances, it starts because of his curiosity in the human race with their behaviors and emotions. i think with you, he started with the intention of having you as a lover after meeting you mistakingly while on a quiet night out.

✯ he particularly enjoys the traits you have that he does not — the idiosyncrasies between the two of you often endearing him. he is a horrible person inside and out with his tendencies and his characteristics, to not sugarcoat, but all the same, enmu can definitely appreciate what is in front of him. you. he definitely enjoys getting a rise out of you to hear the way your voice sounds, and watching some of your reluctance but still indulging attitude has him smiling! won’t you kiss him goodnight too?

✯ absolutely adores your hobbies. music, dancing, filmmaking, creative arts. whenever you do such things, he snaps out of whatever reverie he had, your grounding presence keeping him inside reality. do you sing too? he reckons you have an amazing voice that’s begging to be heard — either you yourself does not know, or think otherwise. he’s a very clingy lover, so once he takes your hands, he won’t let go until you have to >_< lots and lots of pecks everywhere. he loves dotting your face with little kisses and watching you shut your eyes. he could kill you after this project, but, he’s thinking for this, he can make an exception

✯ ah but he’s definitely taken a more keener interest on the mandela catalog and the scp foundation. sweep him away with your knowledge! no matter how far the horror deepens, he’s always had an amazing tolerance for the grotesque and the arbitrary.

#hope you enjoyed!#matchup exchange #bsd matchup #bsd #demon slayer matchup #demon slayer #kimetsu no yaiba #jjk matchups #jjk x reader #danganronpa #fuck tagging we ball

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