#THE TUMBLR POST MAY BE LATE BUT NEVER THE AO3 UPDATE
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Trying to Tread Water: Chapter Thirty
The Elizabeth/Darcy Marriage of Convenience fic no one asked for
Chapter Thirty: Elizabeth's first ball in town - and the first official dance she is attending as Mrs Darcy - has arrived. As have the Darcy family's collection of jewellery, which Mr Darcy sent for. Of course, despite that their marriage was made to secure her safety, his love for Elizabeth means he wants none but her to wear them. They stay close to each other during the ball, and he cannot keep his eyes off her. Especially when they dance.
Read on Ao3 here
First reviews of Chapter Thirty: "Honestly when I get the email this story has updated I get very excited and it’s a proper treat! I made a coffee and sat down to read it as soon as possible." "Loved this update! Oh man the vibes during that dance were just perfect." "I'm literally so unreasonably happy that they had a nice night out😭😭 grinning in public like a lunatic rn..." "I really loved the ball in its entirety, honestly. The descriptions of the room and atmosphere, and especially the last dance, all speaks to your writing prowess. 12/10, would recommend." "This story is my absolute favorite notification and I seriously enjoy reading it so much! The characters, the world building, just so incredibly well done!"
Story updates on Ao3 fortnightly, with Chapter Thirty-One coming out on the 17th May.
Story tags: Elizabeth/Darcy, Marriage of Convenience, Unrequited Love, Not Really Unrequited Love, Slow Burn, Pining, Pining Despite Being Married, Mr Darcy thinks his worst enemy is Wickham but maybe it's himself.
#'oh but Tara' you might say#'why are you only posting this on tumblr the day before the next chapter comes out'#IT IS BECAUSE THIS IS THE FIRST TIME SINCE THEN#I'VE BEEN ABLE TO CONVINCE THE TODDLERS TO HAVE THEIR NAP AND I HAVEN'T HAD OTHER DUTIES TO DO#i queue most things on my blog but not this because i like to put in some comments#which i always feel so thankful for and also i'm someone who is swayed to read things because friends tell me good things about it#and taking a few quotes from the comments is the closest i can get to that#and so here we are#posting to tumblr late#at the whims of two two-year olds and my share of the housework#and the former have not been generous to my writing this week#ten days without being able to write a word#BUT HERE I AM#RISING FROM THE ASHES OF SLEEP DEPRIVATION#SO YOU STILL GET YOUR FORTNIGHTLY LIZZY AND DARCY PINING#THE TUMBLR POST MAY BE LATE BUT NEVER THE AO3 UPDATE#pride and prejudice#jane austen#elizabeth bennet#fitzwilliam darcy#elizabeth x darcy#darcy x elizabeth#mr darcy#writing#ao3 writer#fanfic#fanfiction#fanfic writing#archive of our own#ao3
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The Maiden and the Drowning Boy | Aegon x OC | Chapter Four
Rating: Explicit
Ships: Aegon II Targaryen x Abrogail Strong (Lyonel Strong's Daughter), Jacaerys Velaryon x Helaena Targaryen
Summary: As the kingdom teeters on the edge of chaos, Alicent Hightower swaps the pieces on the board: Aegon will marry Abrogail Strong, Larys’ younger sister and heir to Harrenhal. Caught in the web of intrigue and political machinations, the pair must figure out where their loyalties lie, and what they mean to one another.
Tropes: Childhood Sweethearts/Friends to Lovers, Generational Trauma and Cycles of Abuse, It's All About the Character Development, Unreliable Narrators, Multi-POV, Canon Divergent, Bisexual Aegon II Targaryen, Book/Show Mash Up, Fix-It Of Sorts, Stopping the Cycle of Abuse before it gets us all killed, Team Neutral, fairy tale vibes meets victorian medievalism meets grrm
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Chapter One | Chapter Two | Chapter Three
Chapter Four - SOLACE IN BEING HEARD
Helaena and her acts of rebellion
Myrella Penrose’s shriek had Helaena shutting her eyes and taking a long breath before going to gather up the thick slithering Essosi centipede that had crawled over the lady’s shoe.
“There you are,” she crooned softly, and put the little eyeless thing back into the enclosure it had escaped from the night before. “Thank you for not kicking it across the room, Lady Penrose. I would have been most upset if that happened,” Helaena said, half-distracted. “Lady Abrogail accidentally squashed one of my creatures yesterday, and as you can see,” she drifted off and gazed at the reddened, pinched face of Myrella over her shoulder, “She is not here.”
That wasn’t the actual reason Abrogail was nowhere to be found, but Helaena liked to let the threat hang there, just to be unpredictable. The young princess waved a hand. “You may leave.”
Her mother’s lady did not even protest, hurrying from the room. The heavy door shut harder than expected and the loud bang of it sent her flinching. Her hands flew up, curling into fists, as if unsure whether to clap to her ears against more loud sounds, or to fight the sound itself.
As if that were even possible.
The quiet of her bedroom surrounded Helaena. The curtains with embroidered dragonflies fluttered in the morning breeze and sparkled in the sunlight. Her fingers reached to stroke at the curtains as she stood, watching the city spread out before her, tiny and huge all at once.
In the distance, Vhagar’s lowing echoed across the city and a slight smile broke across the princess’ face. Her brother’s dragon was far too big to be confined to the Dragon Pit, and in the window's arch, Helaena watched the bulk of her roam lazily above the bay. It never ceased to amaze her how big she looked even so far and so high as Helaena was in the tower.
Aemond would sneak past Ser Lorrent before dawn and visit Vhagar at the cliffs after recovering from losing his eye. He would greet the dawn on dragonback, and he would smile so brightly when she and Aegon would join him. The three of them could finally fly together, to share in the joy of freedom from the keep. Freedom from the expectation. Freedom.
Three heads of a dragon.
Visenya. Aegon. Rhaenys.
Not that she’d ever tell Aegon to his face that he was the Rhaenys of them.
The smile on her face faltered, and she looked down at the fabric she clasped in her hands. Aemond had always been so serious. It was the one thing about him that hadn’t changed since claiming Vhagar. So serious. So focused. A narrow-eyed stare of a dragon in his violet eyes had now morphed into the curl of the lip and a baring of his teeth. Intensity was a part of Aemond, but lately it felt as if he’d been sharpened upon the whetstone instead of his sword.
Helaena found herself growing nervous to reach for him sometimes, as if simply resting her hands upon him would shred them and she’d come away bloody. She worried she wouldn’t be able to stop the flow, and she would find herself crumpled in a pool of her own blood that he didn’t mean to shed. Her pair of Dornish scorpions came to mind. Like many creatures, they needed to be handled with care, and as gentle as she might be, there would be an inevitable sting, for it was in their nature. Aemond had been gentler once, even when the anger inside of him always simmered. Now he was morphing into something that would hurt her without care, and she didn’t know if she wanted to treat him as a blade, or like one of her scorpions.
“We’ll be married soon,” Aemond had sworn the day before, in his all knowing way. The way he got when he was most certain; the knowing way when he’d pace across her chamber, ranting about how “if only Mother would see that he could be the new cupbearer and attend council meetings with her.” “If only Grandfather would understand that he had ideas to implement. Didn’t any of them understand?”
As she always did, Helaena hummed noncommittally and let Aemond stroke her hair. She did not mind it, for there was something soothing in the way Aemond stroked her hair. But that soothing feeling was ebbing, and she didn’t like it. It was a confusing feeling. She enjoyed how his eye strayed down along the front of her gowns more often these days, and how he blushed so prettily when she caught him looking. Helaena enjoyed that sort of unwavering attention; it made her feel warm and fluttery. She had the same feeling when Warren Fossoway welcomed her in the training yard with his shiny black hair and jade-like green eyes..
Of course, Aemond had noticed, and had challenged him in the training ring. Helaena did like to see the boys fight for her attention that way. Warren had even been doing well against Aemond’s intensity until her brother kicked the squire’s knee out, forcing him to yield. Poor Warren.
She hoped that the kiss she’d snuck Warren later had made him feel better about the loss.
Her gaze drifted towards her shelf of delicate cases where her specimens lived. Pinned to the shelf was the sketch Abby had made the week prior. Careful charcoal lines against the parchment of the butterflies that had flocked to the fat, blue flowers of the rhododendron bush in the garden. She cherished many of those sketches, keeping them tucked away with her own more informational drawings she’d done herself. Helaena was fond of the differences in how they captured beauty. Abby with the abstract and scenery and motion, Helaena with the inner workings and pieces and parts that came together.
Helaena frowned as the bells chimed throughout the city, signaling the top of the hour, and looked at the door. Abby still hadn’t arrived and her concern was growing. No matter. She would simply look for her. Drifting away from the window, Helaena assessed the green silk gown that had been laid out on the bed. It was a simple thing with no fiddly buttons that she could see. Carefully, she slipped it over her head. Some of her dresses were growing tighter around her chest, and the last one she’d put on herself, the seams split in her impatience. Mother spoke of ordering new gowns the evening before, which meant lots of trying on the old ones to see what they would pass along to Abby, or adjusted to fit her now. It had been easier when they were younger, but Helaena’s hips had grown a little wider, her breasts heavier, and thus the gowns needed more work to hand down to Abby.
Helaena was taller now, and Maester said that neither girl would grow much more now that they had flowered. That, at least, gave Helaena the sense of pride that she had ‘won’ in that.
Her fingers tugged at the loose braid, curls and frizz coming out of it like the frills along Dreamfyre’s neck. Now that her dragon was settled with her clutch, Helaena's restlessness over the previous week had eased. She felt more in the present than pulled elsewhere, as it always was when these things happened; it was as if a haze went over everything, and Helaena felt wrapped in cotton wool, her senses focused on the smell of brimstone and the low glow of the dark nests inside the dragon pit. Of the need to protect, of the need to be in herself, but not herself. Helaena could only describe it as if she leant Dreamfyre her strength during these times. Like she could lend her senses to her soulmate to ensure she felt safe when giving birth.
She’d never spoken a word of it to Aegon in their years together, for Sunfyre did not lay eggs or roost with any other dragon in such a way, and Vhagar didn’t seem to lay eggs either. Helaena supposed she could ask Aemond about it, for he had read far more about dragons than she, but Helaena didn’t. There were some things that could not be learned from books. There were things one instinctively knew and Helaena knew, somewhere, that her dragon’s strength was her own, and her own was her dragon’s.
Mayhaps they could go to the pit and she could visit with Dreamfyre while Abby looked at the kitlings in the nursery beneath the watchful eye of Keeper Arryx and Keeper Vera, who did not mind answering the questions they all had about the baby dragons.
After all, cradle eggs were only meant for the heirs. Their bonds had to be claimed, as all things worth having were.
Another tug on the green silk and Helaena shook her head and decided there was no need to do her hair. It didn’t matter, as there wasn’t really anyone around worth impressing or putting on a show and if, for whatever reason, there was, well then she could deal with it then.
There was a lull in the bustle of Maegor’s Holdfast in the morning. The servants had stoked fires and brought trays of food already, and had taken away linens and things to come back later. Without Lady Penrose trailing after her, Helaena skipped down the hallway, landing on only the decorative tiles and not the bleak gray flagstones for luck. The right side of the corridor opened up to the square courtyard below where servants and ladies passed by, a marble cistern in the middle to catch the water that spilled through the center of the roof a story above.
Helaena peered over the stone railing, her eyes searching for the familiar shock of red hair, but none caught her eye.
Her sister had still not appeared.
Abby was never absent. Worry twisted in her gut as she resumed her trek towards the entry hall on both feet, now with her skirts clutched in her hands. One of the few people Helaena allowed to be close, she could hardly count the times when she wasn’t there, and most of that had been relegated to visits to Harrenhal on those rare occasions to see her family. They’d learned to walk together, had played every day, and since Abby had become her lady, they’d shared a bed, staying up late into the night whispering about the dreams she had, or the gossip they overheard from the ladies. Helaena had grown used to her smiling, cheerful face waking her up, helping her, being there, laughing over their morning meal.
Helaena paused as she came to the end of the hallway towards the intersection. To the left, the corridor opened to the great expanse of the entry hall. To the right were Mother's rooms and the family solar, and further past there, her father’s apartments. Another staircase before her led up to the next floor, where Aemond and Aegon’s apartments were in one of the seven towers. The window of Aegon’s room always drew a queer sense of vertigo from her, which was strange, as she did not mind heights and his room had some of the best views in the Holdfast. Aegon had teased her for her fear, Aemond biting at him for it. Abby only cast a disapproving look as she settled on the window edge while they bickered. Helaena was quite content to sit on the cushions pulled from Aegon’s bed on the floor at her feet.
Abby laughed and said, "This is the closest I can get to flying on my own." She explained that the towers in Harrenhal could be dangerous and that she had never been permitted to enter them alone. Bats the size of a grown man were said to live in the ruins left behind by the Conqueror and Balerion, she’d said, which had only sparked Helaena’s interest rather than any sense of fear.
She bit her lip. Abby had been acting oddly since returning from Grandfather’s office - distracted and distant and withdrawn. It was so unlike Abby that it had distressed her, which distressed Aemond. He’d reacted harshly when Abby had snapped. Helaena hadn’t minded, but she’d been surprised; unable to remember ever hearing her sister have such a harsh tone - and Abrogail was her sister. She was just as close to her as she was to her own brothers.
Aemond had minded her tone. Aemond always minded if he felt she was disrespected, and she’d berated him - a rare thing - for his manner, for he didn't see how distressed Abby had been.
Mayhaps Abby was in the apartments she had with her brother? It would be unusual, but were she in the Holdfast, surely she would have been in her room that morning. Another sigh. Aegon wouldn’t even be awake by now, would he? Had he absconded with Abby at the crack of dawn to go riding? Not that he ever seemed to rise before mid-morning at the earliest, but her elder brother could be unpredictable and he’d been in a mood the prior evening before dragging poor Aemond out into Flea Bottom. Sometimes when Aegon was in a mood, he’d hoard Abby to himself and they’d go riding for hours, although that had stopped since they had dragged him home from the terrible fight in a tavern a few moons ago. Not even Aemond knew what had happened.
The family solar was down the opposite hall where she was, and Helaena fidgeted, skirting against the wall as a troop of maids passed with bobbed curtsies that barely slowed their walk. She was aware, although no one dared say anything, that her hair was still sleep mussed and unkempt. While Helaena herself was not concerned with it, she realized with an uneasy feeling that someone might mention something to Mother about it. In general, Helaena's mother was kind about what she called quirks, but Helaena noticed an unmistakable sense of relief in her mother's eyes when she was well put together without dirt beneath her nails or a creature ready to show off.
Mother worried about so much. So tightly wound that Helaena felt guilty at contributing to the myriad of things she fretted about. Yet she could not deny the sense of control it gave her to leave her rooms like this, or to go in the gardens without worrying about her dresses.
She could have done her hair before leaving, Helaena supposed, but Abby was so much better at making sure she looked presentable, and did not shriek (loudly) when her creatures escaped. Helaena lifted a hand to her sleep mussed braid, half undone with her tossing and turning during the night, and frowned. Her green dress looked alright, and Helaena tugged a bit at her shoulders, shimmying a bit to try straightening it herself. It was there she found little buttons - why did she have buttons on her shoulders? - that she couldn’t do up herself.
“There you are!” came a relieved, breathless call from behind her.
Helaena turned to look at the staircase leading down to the Holdfast’s entrance. Morning light spilled through the open doors, illuminating the carvings of Daenys the Dreamer and her family arriving at Dragonstone in bright relief. Abrogail was flushed and panting as she mounted the last few steps, her blue skirts gathered in her hands and her strawberry curls falling from a hastily made braid.
“Good morning!” Helaena chirped. “I was worried you’d vanished into the wall, or Mother had taken you. You didn’t come back last night, nor were you at dinner.” She watched Abby’s cheeks flush deeper and Helaena reached out to tug on one of the strawberry curls clouding around the shorter girl’s shoulders. “Lady Penrose found my centipede and nearly kicked it across the room, so then I came to find you. Have you eaten?” Her stomach growled in emphasis and she patted it gratefully for its timing.
Abrogail blinked and went to address the bothersome buttons. “She left you before she finished helping you this morning?” she asked with an intent frown. “Just because she doesn’t like your collection doesn’t mean that she should be remiss in her duties. I’m sorry for not coming back last night. I had dinner with my brother and fell asleep. I thought he sent a message to your mother.” Her voice was apologetic and soft, without fumbling over herself to make an excuse. Things were mercifully simple between her and Abrogail, and Helaena was desperately grateful for it when the subtle meanings of others often went over her head.
The redhead brushed a kiss on her cheek and her cool fingers began fiddling with Helaena’s messy braid, ignoring her own uncharacteristically messy attire. Helaena was used to it. Mother said it was Abby’s duty as her lady to tend to her needs and help her look her best, but she’d always been gentle and fussing for as long as Helaena could remember. One of the few she didn’t mind touching her, and on the days she didn’t like it, Abby was careful to mind her.
“Are you feeling better today?” Helaena asked, not unkindly, but not one to avoid or mince words. It was something that mother and their Septa scolded her often about. “You were so upset yesterday, and you don’t look like yourself.” She watched her friend’s eyes widen and Helaena found relief in assessing things correctly. It felt good to know she’d picked up on things properly. “I don’t mind, of course, but that’s the same dress you wore yesterday, and your hair isn’t even done. That’s not like you at all.”
“I…” Abby stuttered and her fingers paused in undoing Helaena’s braid. The princess frowned when the other stepped back. “I don’t know if I’m supposed to say anything, your Grace,” she continued in a hurried voice, her formality standing out amidst the easy intimacy between them.
Helaena’s frown returned, suspicion drawing her brows together. “I’m not mad at you about yesterday, or about the wooly bear. Aemond was being stupid about it, and I told him off for his harshness, so why didn’t you come back?” She worked to keep her voice steady because Abby was there and safe, but now her concern from before was morphing into a wriggling sort of sensation in her chest like her centipede lived there between her ribs. Helaena tugged at the cuff of her sleeve, rubbing her fingers over the bump of her wrist bone.
She was not prone to a temper the way Aemond or mother was, or to biting melancholy like Aegon. Instead, Helaena was one to withdraw, which served her better than the biting tendencies she still held. Abby fell into her courtesies, which Helaena assumed was because she was not one of them, even with a certain amount of blood shared and foundations forged. Polite smiles, proper address, the proper little girl that Helaena had no genuine care about. Helaena thought it was adorable, but not when Abrogail started using it on her.
“A lot happened, and I just needed time and then I had a talk with Larys and…” Abrogail’s voice didn’t waver, but she was avoiding eye contact, which was what Helaena did more often than not. Frustration grew amidst the hurt she was feeling.
“And?” Helaena’s voice turned high. She didn’t like this new Abrogail, who was keeping things from her. They never had secrets. “But you don’t even like your brother. Why were you speaking with him? Is this about your sister again? I told you she can’t take you back to Lannisport now that you’re Mother’s ward and my lady.” The words were a flurry, and she ended them on a small sound, pressing her lips together and looking over her shoulder, down the hall to the entrance of the solar where she could hear her mother’s voice echoing, although the words weren’t clear.
Cold hands clasped hers, and Helaena’s attention was back on Abrogail, who had both of her hands grabbed. Her fingers twitched in the hold, and she felt her wrist ache. “It’s alright,” Abby murmured, rubbing her thumbs into the soft center of Helaena’s palms. Her shoulders still ached with tension, but it was easier to take a deep breath. The other girl looked up and met her gaze. “Your mother and grandfather, with Larys’ blessing, are betrothing Aegon and I,” she continued in the same hushed voice. “We’ll be married come my nameday, and then we’ll be off to Harrenhal - to rule in my brother’s stead.”
Helaena pulled her hands from Abrogail’s grasp, clasping them tightly against her waist, and took a step back. “You lied to me.”
“What?” Abby asked, but Helaena was shaking her head.
“You lied to me when I asked you if everything was alright. You lied to me by saying it was nothing, when it was something!” Tears gathered hot in Helaena’s eyes. Everything felt like too much, suddenly. “I tell you about Aemond, about the kisses we steal, and you couldn’t even tell me that you were betrothed to my brother?” Helaena could hear Abrogail’s voice, no doubt trying to apologize, but the sick feeling of being lied to, of betrayal, boiled the blood in her ears, blocking the younger girl’s words. “You yelled at me instead of telling me, and now on top of that, you’re leaving me! And I’ll be left here alone with stupid Lady Penrose, who will no doubt kill my specimens while you and Aegon are busy making babies together!”
The younger girl was still from where she’d stepped back, eyes wide and face flushed. Helaena wanted to shake her, to have her say something to make sense of it all, like how mother sometimes shook Aegon, though Helaena hated it.
“Helaena,” came mother’s voice, as if she knew what Helaena was thinking, but the princess realized that her voice had carried more than she realized. She turned slowly to see her approach. Every inch the beautiful queen, in a dress of deep blue with an ornate golden pattern embroidered along her bodice that made Helaena think of hummingbirds. Her auburn hair was free about her shoulders, which meant that mother had begun the day in a relaxed manner. But the white around her tight mouth, the volume of her voice, meant that was no longer the case.
Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Abby curtsy, but Helaena rocked on her heels, twisting her fingers together as she sniffled. She could rarely look at Mother directly and it was more difficult right now. Her mother’s sigh was long and heavy, but her voice was not loud, which was a relief. “What on earth is going on out here? Hm?”
It was not like Aemond’s soft hum, but not as frightening as her angry hum.
“Abby told me she and Aegon are getting married,” Helaena finally answered, looking at the carved frieze above her mother’s head. Then, “I made her tell me, do not be angry with her if she wasn’t meant to say.”
“The Princess was upset, Your Grace, and I did not wish to be dishonest with her,” came Abby’s soft agreement.
In the morning light, with them both in blue and with their red hair, Helaena thought they looked quite similar. Abby’s hair was a brighter fiery red to Mother’s auburn, but their rounded faces and the curves of their mouths were near identical. Mother must look like grandmother then, Helaena thought, for Abby’s mother was Mother’s cousin.
Mother looked between the two of them, hands on her hips. Helaena kept rocking back and forth on her heels until Mother sighed once more. “Come, the both of you. Break your fasts and we’ll discuss how things shall move forward.”
Soft morning light filled the solar through the ornate, colored, and clear glass of the bay window overlooking the grounds of the Keep. Abrogail’s large black and gray cat, Theraxis, was stretched out in all his great length in a patch of orange light. His yellow eyes blinked as he turned towards them, paws flexing and belly on display to be petted. Over the years, Theraxis had become the rat catcher, siring dozens of litters of kittens. He was found everywhere from the library, lurking in the stacks to attack Aemond’s legs, or even beneath her father’s great Valyrian table, listening to the king with all the patience of a content cat.
Abrogail skirted around her and went straight to the great cat, hoisting him up into her arms and bringing him over. Helaena’s arms opened to receive the purring beast, and she smiled tearfully when he bumped his face against hers, rubbing his whiskered cheek against her own. Helaena did not look to Abby, and instead kept her attention on Theraxis’ warm, soft purring body to let her anxieties seep from her.
“Will you take him away with you too?” Helaena asked, and her mother made a disapproving sound from her chair at the table. “But, Mother-”
Mother did not tell her to release the cat and behave herself as a princess should. For that, Helaena was grateful. Sometimes, Mother was anxious about her behavior, but didn’t scold her the way their Septa did. Mother's voice interjected sharply, but she didn't scold Helaena. She didn't tell her to release the cat and behave like a princess should, for which Helaena was grateful.
Helaena fell silent and pressed her face into the soft cat fur while Theraxis purred and lay across her arms like some damsel to be adored. The clinking of cutlery echoed in the solar as everyone buttered their bread and filled their goblets. Releasing the cat to the ground, Helaena sunk into the chair to her mother’s left at the circular table. She met neither of the other’s gazes and instead focused on ripping the piece of ham she’d snagged from the platter of meats and cheeses. Where was Aemond? If he had gone to her room and not found her, then he would have come to the solar. If Aemond was there, it would be better. She would not feel so unmoored and confused and upset.
“Helaena does not wish for us to be parted,” Abby said, breaking the silence with her soft lilt. “Neither do I… But Harrenhal is not so far away on dragonback, so we could visit, surely?”
Helaena lifted her gaze to watch the other girl beneath her lashes, the way the sunlight through the colored glass threw a scatter of blues and greens and purples along where Abby sat. A carapace, Heleana mouthed to herself. A pretty carapace to protect their little not-a-dragon who cannot breathe fire or fly like the rest of the clutch.
But they weren’t a clutch anymore, were they? They were no longer children, not when they bled and kissed, not when Aegon would do what he’s always done when they were children: wrap Abrogail up in his claws and drag her away. It had been so hard to drag her away from her brother - to claim the attention as Mother’s drifted to Daeron, to Rhaenyra and her children, and the way Mother grew sadder and angrier. Abby, who, like Aemond, corrected the Septa when Helaena could not bear the room or the feel of the dress on her skin. Abby, who listened raptly in the middle of the night once they had their own rooms, and she could no longer curl up in Aemond’s bed in the nursery. Aemond would always listen to her dreams at night, but Abby had become that person as well. The one who kept the other maids from giving her scratchy dresses or touching and fussing too much. The one who taught her how to braid, and dutifully sat at her side as she collected her pets and her specimens, taking careful notes so that when Aemond joined her, the scientific endeavor remained uninterrupted.
Helaena looked at her fingers tearing at the bits of meat on her plate. In her mind, one hand was firmly locked in Aemond’s grip. A hand that had once led her through the halls when she was found sleepwalking. The hand that she did not mind being touched by when she did not fear the sting. Her other hand gripped Abby’s; sisters giggling and reaching for one another to not fall off the bed or into the pond, holding onto each other as they ran to hide from the boys during one of their games.
While Aemond held her with both hands, Abrogail held her with one, Aegon gripping her other hand increasingly stronger with each passing year, claws and teeth and every muscle inside him straining for the soft words and the laughter. With every slap from their mother, every casually harsh comment from their grandfather, every moment that Father ignored them, or worse, called Aegon Baelon, Aegon pulled harder and harder…
Helaena did not want to let go, even as her grip was slipping. She despised change, and she despised how Lady Penrose’s lip curled at the assortment of boxes and containers she was still allowed to have, or how she huffed frustrated breaths when Helaena tried to express her discomfort and displeasure. She was a princess of the realm, and she knew that Lady Penrose must mind her, but she still struggled with it.
Aemond helped. Aemond reminded her she was a dragonrider - that Dreamfyre was even older than Melys, and that all was hers to command. He sometimes forgot his own words, Helaena thought, when he sought to command her, but she could not figure out what to do about that.
It was far easier, and far more reassuring, when Abrogail handled Lady Penrose. And when Septa Lyserra clucked her tongue and told Helaena that a lady does not whimper or shake so when they don’t want to do something, her chosen sister, who could be as quiet as a mouse, always spoke up for her to calm the tension, readily taking the switch across her palms, for the princess could not be struck.
Mother looked between the pair of them: Helaena sullen and only half looking at them now, and Abrogail, whose large blue eyes kept flitting back and forth while she clutched the roll in her hands. “I think that’s certainly something allowed, once you and Aegon have settled after the wedding,” Mother said carefully over her food. Gently indulgent, but treated neither of them as anything but young ladies. “Not too often, of course. You’ll be setting up your own household and making progress with your household and the townsfolk who rely on you. Helaena will also have her responsibilities here.”
A heavy sensation grew in the pit of Helaena’s stomach at the idea of what responsibilities her mother spoke of. She shoved some pieces of ham into her mouth to keep from speaking her concerns, for sometimes when Mother grew agitated, she was not so lenient.
“But no one is leaving today, nor next week. The wedding will not happen until your nameday, Abrogail, which means you both will still have plenty of time together, and,” Mother fixed her large brown eyes upon Helaena, a hopeful smile creasing her cheeks, “Abrogail will ensure that your new ladies will take proper care of you, and understand your needs the way she does.” Rarely did Mother smile, and to have it happen now was a relief and Helaena couldn’t help but smile back, raising her eyes to look at her mother properly.
“No one can understand the way Abby does,” Helaena blurted out, and while Mother’s smile did not so much as falter, she tilted her head in that way she had when she wanted to reach out to hug her. “So Abby and Aegon should just stay here.”
“Well, perhaps Abrogail has a lady who might also work,” Mother suggested mildly.
Abrogail made a soft sound. “I don’t have any ladies, your Grace.”
“You don’t?” Helaena asked, bewildered, at the same moment that Mother set her cup down with a rather unladylike clatter into the saucer, and asked, “Whatever do you mean, Abrogail?”
Bits of bread tore beneath her fingers while Abby bit her lip, and then immediately released it. “I just have the maid assist me before I tend to Helaena.” The bits of bread fell onto the plate like falling leaves, and from beneath Abby’s elbow, a great, furry paw tried to reach up and capture some of them. An indignant mreow punctuated the end of Abby’s sentence, and the girl shooed him away. “It works out better, since Helaena prefers our solitude, and I don’t need to ensure that they have duties and are occupied.”
“Not even Lord Beesbury’s granddaughters?” Mother asked with a thoughtful frown, followed by a sigh. Abby shook her head with a “No, your Grace,” and stopped picking so aggressively at her bread. Mother muttered something beneath her breath. “Very well. I’ve already written to Lord Baratheon about sending two of his daughters to see who might serve as your new lady. In this case, one shall be with you, Helaena, and the other will join Abrogail. Many of the houses will bring their eligible girls to the tournament, so you both can pick attendants from them.” Mother nodded to herself, thumbing through some papers that sat on a smaller table beside her chair. “I shall look, and perhaps also write to my uncle in Oldtown…”
Mother continued to murmur beneath her breath. Helaena caught words like nieces and sisters. She knew Mother had many siblings, that they’d served as ladies when she was small, but they’d all gone and gotten married. Some had lingered, like Lady Fossoway, who was now Mother’s Mistress of Keys. Her son was Ser Westerling’s squire, dear Warren with his jade eyes and wounded pride.
There was a commotion at the doorway, and Helaena turned as her mother cried out, “Aemond!”
Ser Criston stood with a hand on both Aemond’s and Aegon’s shoulders and Helaena gasped, hearing Abby let out a soft squeak behind her. Bruises in shades of red, purple, and blue colored Aemond's face. His left eye and cheek were swollen, and Ser Criston stood with a hand on his shoulder.
“I’m fine,” Aemond reassured as Mother rushed to him and carefully cupped his unharmed cheek. Helaena pushed half out of her chair and gripped the back of it as she watched her brothers. Aegon had a scrape along his right cheek, and glancing at his hands revealed the bruised knuckles. His pink gaze lingered on the floor, anywhere but towards anyone else.
Ser Criston fixed his gaze on Mother, and Helaena had often thought that his expression resembled that of a disappointed and frustrated father. She could hear a tone in his voice that came up frequently when he talked about Aegon, which didn't always seem fair.
However, she saw the way grandfather treated Mother, and realized it wasn’t so different. The harsh words, the anger and the fear - grandfather full of anger and cunning, Mother full of so much fear it only left her in bouts of her own type of flame to wound and sear and protect herself.
“The Gold Cloaks were called in to break up a brawl in a brothel early this morning,” Ser Criston said, his hands clasped on both of their shoulders and gave them a slight shake. “Lord Commander Westerling and I will be speaking with Ser Arryk about his negligence, your Grace.”
Alicent glared at Aegon, and in the face of her anger, her elder brother was already flinching back against Ser Criston’s plated chest as if it would save him, or he could sink into the space between the breastplate and Ser Criston’s body beneath, like the way her specimens scurried beneath her sleeves. Helaena braced herself for the echoing sound of a slap, but miraculously, Mother did not touch him, her hands resting on Aemond’s upper arms.
“What did you do to him?” she snapped, and each word caused Aegon to stiffen more.
Helaena glanced over her shoulder to where Abby sat still in her seat, mouth pinched tight and white around the edges like Mother’s, but she couldn’t tell what the other was upset about.
“It was me,” Aemond said, voice even; quiet. “I said something cruel that I shouldn’t have.”
Aegon’s exhale was loud in the quiet after Aemond’s statement, his gaze flicking over to Aemond, who remained fixated on Mother. What cruel thing would Aemond have said that had pushed Aegon so, Helaena wondered, knowing that she would hear the details once they were alone.
Mother looked between the boys, chewing on the inside of her cheek as she assessed them both. “Please refrain from settling your grievances with fists like the small folk. In a brothel, no less,” she hissed and yet, her voice carried. Helaena looked over at Abrogail, whose cheeks had flushed beneath her freckles, and she wondered if Abrogail was upset that Aegon had gone to a brothel right after they were told of their betrothal. But Aegon had been furious enough to attack Aemond. The boys often got into trouble with each other, but the princess couldn't remember them ever throwing punches.
Another moment, and then Mother was pulling the boys into the room, and over her shoulder to Ser Criston, she said: “Come, eat, there’s plenty.” It was not unusual that Ser Criston - for they needed to address their mother’s sworn shield properly, especially after the time that Daeron had called him father once, when he was still very little and their Sire-Father had turned his attention to things Helaena supposed were more important - join them in breaking their fast.
With interest, Helaena watched Aemond perch on the chair between her and Abrogail, while Ser Criston sat between Mother and Abrogail. Normally, Aemond would sit between her and Mother instead, not that she minded, but she saw Aegon hesitate before taking the last seat.
Aemond was reaching for the pieces of shredded ham off her plate, and the ruined roll from Abrogail’s as if nothing were amiss, and Helaena watched Aegon’s sullen expression deepen while he tugged the tray closer to pull meat and bread to his plate. Aemond leaned over and said something quiet to Abrogail, the other girl perking up in her soft response to him.
“It’s so nice that we can all break our fast together, isn’t it?” Helaena asked the table brightly, because it was nice, even if everyone was cross. Abrogail’s red curls bounced as she nodded enthusiastically, her own gaze fixated on her plate.
“Yes, it rather is,” Aemond agreed, pressing a kiss to her cheek that made her belly flutter and Mother’s eyes narrow even more with her unspoken displeasure at Aemond’s act. Helaena’s smile grew at the sight of it and she reached for a fresh slice of bread. Little acts of rebellion were always her favorite to get through the monotony of the day.
[chapter five]
#house of the dragon#asoiaf#house of the dragon fanfic#hotd fanfic#hotd fic#aegon ii targaryen#aegon ii targaryen x oc#aegon ii targaryen fic#helaena targaryen#aegon targaryen fic#aegon x abby#fic: the maiden and the drowning boy
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like any unloved thing part three : weed and early nights
ao3 / part one / part two
Masterlist : @avocado-writing @little-sunflower-bug @evangelineflowers @humbug5 @yume904 @chloeforde @sarcastic-sourwolf
Hi ! I am so sorry for the late update, college has been kicking my ass :( but here we go !! I hope you’ll like this chapter ^^ please if you could reblog or comment it would mean the world ! I think Tumblr ate this post :(
Fawn steps inside the restaurant, relieved at the way the chill of the outside is suddenly cut short by the door closing behind her. She sighs, enjoying the warmth seeping into her skin. Her fingers feel frozen, even despite the mittens she put on before going out.
A waiter greets her courteously. She tells him she’s joining a friend, and gives him the name for the reservation.
It’s a fancy restaurant, but not too fancy. The kind normal people will go to when they want to treat themselves without spending all their savings on the meal, where, typically, Fawn doesn’t feel underdressed with her simple attire. It was too cold outside for her to be able to put anything on than blue jeans and a white turtleneck. Her long black coat does fancy it up a bit, though.
The waiter leads her to her table. Her friend/colleague Violet is already seated. She smiles widely when she sees Fawn stop in front of her, rising to kiss her on the cheek.
“Hi”, Fawn says, softly, detaching herself from her embrace. She pulls off her grey beanie, and then her coat, draping them on her chair, and sits down in front of Violet.
“How are you, baby ?” Violet asks, sipping on a glass of red wine. She looks sheepish, then. “Sorry, I hope you don’t mind, I ordered wine without you.” She raises a hand to catch the waiter’s attention.
“Oh, I’ll take the same thing, please”, Fawn tells him.
“It’s been a long time since we went out for a meal”, Violet continues. “Or drinks. Or shopping. Or anything, really. You’re always busy. Found some new friends ?”
Fawn’s traitorous thoughts take her almost immediately to Tangerine, but she shakes her head to disperse them. The truth is, Fawn’s days simply alternates between working at the café, clients, and going home to curl up under the comforter to scroll on her phone. Nothing very exciting or scandalous as Violet may think.
“Just the winter, you know ?” She offers to her. “Gets me a bit down. I’m hibernating.”
Violet snorts.
“You know, the cold isn’t a reason to isolate yourself ? Aren’t people supposed to stick together, share warmth ?”
Fawn smiles, twirling her glass and taking a sip. “Maybe.”
They order their meals, make small talk, talking of everything and anything. It’s only when their plates are deposited in front of them that Violet finally addresses the reason why they’re both here.
“So, who hired you ?” She asks.
“Kenneth Hall”, Fawn replies, dipping a piece of carrot in the sauce. “He’s hired me before. Only escort jobs, though. What about you ?”
Two days earlier, Fawn had received a call from her handler, telling her one of her clients had booked her for a night. A gala, apparently, for Christmas’ Eve. She had been told Violet too had been hired, by another man, for the same event.
“William something”, Violet tells her, while she twirls pasta around her fork. “Never worked with him, and I asked around, and I don’t think the other girls know him.”
Fawn frowns. “Is it for an escort job too ?”
“Yeah, I only take those these days.” She smiles, then, leaning towards her as if she’s about to spill a terrible secret. “I found myself a boyfriend.”
Fawn arches her eyebrows, surprised.
“Oh, wow. I mean, congratulations. It must be serious, if you’re only doing escort jobs.”
“Yeah, he’s very sweet, you know”, Violet continues. There’s some sort of dreamy expression on her face, like she’s reminiscing herself of him. “But what about you ? How long has it been since your ex-girlfriend ?”
Fawn washes the bitterness in her throat with a mouthful of wine. The ex-girlfriend was… well. It didn’t last, did it.
“Four years”, she murmurs. “And no, I’m not dating anybody right now.”
Violet makes a disappointed moue, pressing her chin against the palm of her hand as she looks at Fawn with some kind of puppy eyes expression.
“Why not ?”
She shrugs, trying to act like she isn’t bothered. She is, though. She doesn’t like to talk about things like relationships and such. She’s crossed those off her list long ago.
“Too much of a hassle”, she replies, twirling her glass.
It really is. She knows of other girls who do it and manage to find the perfect balance between their work and the relationship, but Fawn has never been able to. It’s difficult, too, because it mostly goes against any expectation people have of a conventional relationship. Most people expect her to drop this job, others will try to “save” her, whatever that means. There are also cases of jealousy, and well. It just seems like a lost battle.
Violet eyes her critically.
“It’s not good for you to completely, you know”, she says, waving a hand in front of her, “close yourself.”
“I’m not”, Fawn protests, but it sounds a bit empty, even to her own ears. She shakes her head. “Look, you don’t need to worry about me. I am perfectly fine.”
Violet doesn’t look exactly convinced, but she doesn’t press the issue.
“I’m glad you’ll be at this gala too”, she says, changing the subject. “That way, we can look after each other.”
Fawn smiles at her, feeling oddly touched by her words. Violet is right, though. In their line of work, it is important to have someone to rely onto, someone who knows where you are, in case something happens.
“Me too. Though, to be honest, my client is more like a huge sort of… rich teddy bear. With sweaty palms. But he’s harmless.”
Violet snorts, looking disgusted at the mention of sweaty palms.
“Also, it’s good I won’t be alone to bear those pompous rich assholes”, she adds, and Fawn heartfully agrees with her.
A gala means good alcohol, and good food. It also means making awkward small talk with snobbish people, shaking hands with creepy old men and being scrutinized for every little mistake.
The rest of the afternoon is spent in a blur. Violet insists they go shopping for the night in question, even if the gala is three weeks away. Apparently, her client sent her money to buy herself a dress, and Violet insists the money is enough to buy Fawn’s one too.
So Fawn lets herself be guided into expensive clothing shops, where the sellers busy themselves with finding the right fabric and the right color. She chooses after a short while a long dress in a dark brown. However, Violet isn’t so quick to make her decision, and she seems to have an infinite amount of energy, trying on shoes and dress after dress. Fawn eventually has to admit defeat and just collapses in one of the comfy leather chairs inside the shop, watching as her friend tries on yet another piece of clothing.
Eventually she finally settles on a long, deep purple dress. Fawn can’t help but smile. It fits her. Besides, Violet has always aimed for clothes that match her names.
When Fawn finally gets home in the evening, she is exhausted. Her back feels sore from having to stand up for so long, her feet hurt and she can feel the beginning of a migraine creeping in on her.
She’s relaxing in a warm bath, planning on maybe smoking some weed and calling it an early night, when her phone rings.
She frowns, leaning outside and reaching out blindly until her fingers finally close around the device where she had dropped it on a pile of her clothes. She fails to swipe the screen a few times, her thumb too slippery, before she finally manages to accept the call.
“Yes ?”
“Your client Tangerine asks if you’re available for the night”, her handler tells her.
Tangerine.
Shit, this is really the worse moment.
She’s never refused, though, but right now, her limbs still sore and her head feeling like it’s wrapped in cotton, she really doesn’t feel like leaving the warmth of her apartment.
“I’m sorry, tell him I can’t tonight”, she says. “Tell him I’m available tomorrow, but tonight is going to be difficult.”
She hangs up after that, dropping the phone back on the pile of clothes and trying to relax again in her bath. She lets herself sink deeper into the water, until it covers her shoulders and only her head is out. She closes her eyes, breathes in deeply.
She’s surprised, then, when her phone rings again. She thinks she is imagining it, at first, but then it rings a second time. She sits up in the tub, swiping her phone back up.
She frowns. She doesn’t recognize the number.
She accepts the call, bringing the phone up against her ear.
“Hello ?”
“Hey”.
Fawn recognizes his voice instantly. She wrenches her phone away from her ear, incredulous, checking the number again. When it’s clear that she’s not having some kind of fever dream, she brings the phone back against her ear.
“How the fuck did you get my phone number ?” She demands, heart beating loudly against her chest. She grips the edge of the tub in her panic. What the fuck, what the fuck.
“Are you alright ?” Tangerine asks, ignoring her question. Anger starts to settle in, replacing the surprise and fear quickly.
“Al- Why wouldn’t I be alright ?”
He suddenly sounds less sure of himself.
“You… You didn’t fuckin’ take my offer for tonight”, he says. “You’ve never said no before, so…”
“Yeah, because I’m exhausted, not because I’m… Dead, or whatever”, she retorts, pinching the bridge of her nose.
“Oh”, he simply lets out. “And it’s not because of, y’know, last time ?”
Meaning the time when he got drunk out of his mind and begged her not to leave. She does him the curtesy of not spelling it aloud.
“No”, she reassures him, even if she is a bit pissed off about him using her phone number, whatever way he managed to obtain it. “I’m just tired, alright ?”
“Right”, Tangerine says. He stays silent for a moment. “Look, I’m only here for the night, and I’d really like to see you, love.” Fawn opens her mouth to protest, but he cuts in before she can speak. “I’ll pay you as much as last time.”
She sighs, but she can already feel her resolve fading.
“I’m exhausted, Tangerine”, she argues. It doesn’t sound very convincing, even to her own ears.
“You won’t have to do anything”, he insists. “I’ll still pay you, alright ?”
“I was planning on smoking weed and falling asleep.”
“Well, you can do that at the hotel, can’t you ?”
Fawn guessed she could.
“ And you’re gonna pay me to do that ?”
He snorts. “Yeah, I’ll fuckin’ pay you do that.”
“Alright, it’s your money, I guess.”
“I’ll be at the hotel in, say, one hour, if you head there before me, you can just order room service or anything you’d like”, he tells her. “Or I can pick you up, if you want.”
“I’m not giving you my home address, Tangerine.”
He chuckles, amused. “Fair enough. I’ll see you in an hour, then.”
He hangs up, and Fawn is left sitting in the now cold water of her bath, holding a phone in her hand. Well. So much for trying to deny him for once. Boundaries, and whatnot.
Half an hour later she’s standing in front of the hotel. This time she didn’t even bother at all with the way she dressed, opting for the warmest and comfiest clothes she could get her hands on. The sweater she’s chosen is big, the sleeves completely swallowing her hands, and the hem of it falling down mid-thighs. She wonders, amused, what people would think if they saw her next to Tangerine, who she’s never seen leave the hotel in less than tailored, expensive suits.
He isn’t in the room when she goes up, just like he told her, so she makes the most of his offer, and orders herself a chocolate dessert from the room service. She takes the plate with her in the bed, and relishes in the soft mattress while eating.
She really loves chocolate.
She decides that she might as well start smoking now. She takes the spliff that she had packed into her bag before leaving her apartment earlier, and lights it. She sucks the smoke in, holding it for a moment in her lungs, before slowly exhaling, watching tendrils twirl in the air as she does so. Fuck, that feels good.
She relaxes back against the cushions, the taste of weed and chocolate heavy on her tongue. After a while, she feels like all tension just left her body, like her limbs have turned into jelly or something.
She realizes that she would have never done this with any of her other clients. It’s too late now to start second-guessing herself or panicking, though. She trusts him. Maybe she shouldn’t.
She hears the sound of the door opening, and Tangerine steps inside the bedroom a few seconds later. He’s still wearing one of his suits, but she can see that there are wrinkles here and there, and his hair has started reversing back to its natural curls.
“Started without me, did you ?” He asked, loosening the tie around his throat.
“Didn’t realize you intended for me to share”, she replies. Her tongue feels cottony in her mouth. She closes her eyes.
Tangerine collapses down on the bed next to her with a sigh, face down against the mattress. She snorts. He’s always been somewhat dramatic. She curls a hand inside his hair, lightly scratching against his skull. Tension seems to bleed out of his body from this mere touch.
“Rough day at work ?” She asks. She doesn’t even know what he does for a living.
“Yeah, more like a fuckin’ week”, Tangerine says, groaning and he rolls onto his back.
Fawn extends the hand holding the spliff towards him, waving it a bit in front of his face. She feels pleasantly warm.
“Want some ?” She asks.
“Why, yes, thank you so much”, he replies, sarcastic, but he does raise a hand to take the spliff from her. Their fingers brush against each other, maybe a bit longer than normal, but Fawn is too high to try looking into it more deeply.
He puffs it, and then immediately dissolves into coughs. Fawn grins.
“Jesus”, Tangerine says, voice choked up as he struggles to catch his breath. “That shit is strong, how the fuck can you smoke it ?”
“Aww, not used to smoking weed, are you ? Can’t handle it ?”
“No, I don’t, actually”, Tangerine retorts, passing her the spliff back, wiping at his eyes. “So, what, you won’t accept drunk clients, but you’ll smoke weed with them ?”
“I don’t smoke weed with all my clients.”
He looks up at her then, blue eyes seemingly searching her face for something. She takes a drag from the joint, holding his gaze. He arches an eyebrow.
“What, am I a fucking special case or something ?”
“Maybe you are”, Fawn answers, without really thinking about it.
He doesn’t answer for a while, like he’s deep in his thoughts. She continues to gently caress his hair. The curls feel so soft and his skin so warm underneath her fingers. Maybe she ought to feel overheated, in her chunky sweater, but she just feels pleasantly drowsy, lightheaded from the weed, but content.
He raises a hand eventually to ask for the spliff.
“Pucker up”, she tells him. He frowns, but does as she asked. He looks a bit ridiculous like this, and she can’t help the large grin that breaks out of her face. Jesus, she hadn’t realized weed made her act this silly.
She pops the spliff between his lips. He almost splutters in his surprise, but manages to puff it without actually hacking off his lungs.
“Good job”, she says, unable to resist, and patting his head lightly.
He glares at her in answer (it’s not exactly convincing) and blows the smoke into her face. She laughs a bit, taking the spliff back.
“Wait, are you really going to take the last fucking…” Tangerine tries to protest, rising a bit on his elbows.
Fawn arches an eyebrow, taking the last drag, but holds the smoke in her lungs. She scoots a bit closer to him, and taps a finger at his bottom lip. He seems a bit clueless, confused. Still, he opens his mouth all the same.
She doesn’t really know what suddenly comes over her, but she leans in, and blows the smoke inside his mouth. He sucks in sharp breath, staring at her with lidded eyes. She leans a bit closer. She doesn’t know who closes the few final inches separating them.
But then, they’re kissing.
His mouth is hot against hers, his lips soft and wet. He tastes like weed and coffee. She parts her lips, licking lightly at his bottom lip, and then she feels his tongue against hers.
Fuck, it’s been a while since she’s been kissed like this. Just kissed, just for the sake of it.
It might be the best kiss she’s gotten in months. Maybe years.
She cups his cheek, tilting her head for a better angle, and he hums against her, tongue sliding in deeper, rolling against her own. Fuck.
Her other hand, that had already been in his hair, pulls a bit at his curls.
Suddenly, he wrenches himself away from her, standing hastily from the bed. There is… some sort of panic in his eyes, his curls completely messed up on his head, his lips swollen.
“Fuck”, he says, pushing his hair out of his eyes, raking a hand through them. His chest is heaving. Fawn is completely lost. What is happening ? “Fuck”, he repeats, louder.
He doesn’t even look at her, storming out of the room. She hears the entrance door slam closed a few seconds later.
She stays rooted where she is, still sitting on the bed. Alone.
She feels like she just brutally fell of her high. The warmth that had been infused in the room mere minutes earlier seems to have completely disappeared. She shivers, wrapping her arms around herself. She doesn’t dare move.
What the fuck ?
She… Doesn’t understand.
They were kissing. Alright, she had kissed him first, yes, but he had kissed her back. He could have simply said no, if he didn’t want to. She wouldn’t have felt offended.
Fuck, the bastard just… Fucking left. She feels gutted, for some reason. Like someone just tore open her chest and left a gaping hole behind, not bothering to close it back. The loneliness creeps in, all at once. She is surrounded by it, sitting alone in a huge hotel room.
He couldn’t just… Leave. He was going to come back, right ?
He hadn’t even paid her.
Fawn swallows around the lump in her throat. Fuck. She’s not going to cry. Not for a man. Not for a fucking client, of all things. She’s long past that.
Okay, so maybe she had thought Tangerine was a bit different than the rest. But he is still a client.
She blinks furiously against the tears threatening to spill out. She feels cold. Humiliated.
Fuck, this really is humiliating.
Her mind keeps jumping to all sorts of possible explanation, each one worse than the other.
A small part of her keeps foolishly hoping that he’s going to come back. He’s going to come back. He just… has too. She had stayed, when he had asked her. Even though he had been drunk. She had stayed because he had asked.
She waits three hours, until she finally decides to go home. Confusion and sadness have long morphed into anger, and a deep feeling of emptiness.
She curls up in her own bed, back in her small apartment. She feels completely pathetic. For allowing this happen. For allowing herself to hope for a fucking client to be at least decent. For allowing him to put her in this situation. She shouldn’t have accepted his offer.
She just wasted a night of sleep, and she didn’t even get paid for it. And now, here she is, alone back in her apartment. Just… Alone.
#tangerine#lemon and tangerine#tangerine bullet train#tangerine fic#tangerine x reader#tangerine x oc#bullet train#bullet train 2022#bullet train fic#bullet train fanfic#bullet train tangerine
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Hello, I hope I'm not being weird here.
I just wanted to pop in and say I'm a huuuge fan and longtime tumblr follower, and have been reading your work for ages now. I just never got the courage to engage when you and the other handful of Bleach fans are talking on my dash hahahaha.
Your interpretations of their Renji and Rukia are basically canon to me -- I don't think anyone else has done as much work to capture their voices and dynamic as well as you have. The 2 of them have had me in a chokehold since I was waiting for Bleach updates every Thursday on Onemanga at the tender age of 11 (16 years ago!!), and they still have me in a chokehold now -- I credit that to your excellent writing and analysis. In a smallish fandom (and a smaller-still ship), it's so comforting to know that there're still people who're still here and still care enough to engage with the material.
I love how you write the vice-captain posse also, their workplace (and off-duty) shenanigans give me joy, especially now that I'm no longer 11 and, like, get it.
I'm delighted that Damage History is up after seeing your updates on Tumblr, and am saving it as a treat for after my finals. I'll leave a comment on AO3 when I read it - HKShadowWorks if you wanna know who I am!
😭😭😭💕💕💕
Thank you so much, this was such a sweet note!
Also, please know that I am just a normal, boring person and no one ever needs to be nervous to talk to me. I am actually an incredibly shy and anxious person in real life, all of this ::gestures at blog:: is just a bit that I do, where I try to be kind and talk about the manga that I love and share my work even when it's not perfect and gush over other people's fan creations so they will want to make more.
Even for a quiet ship within a (currently) quiet fandom, I feel like it's gotten even quieter lately. Maybe it just feels like that because a lot of people on here I really like have gotten Overcome with Life Stuff, or moved on to other things. It may just be legit quieter since the anime is on break for now. Sometimes I think about giving up on all this, except that a) lol i am not going to stop, what else am I going to do? and b) if I stop making incredibly niche posts about the decor in the captains' offices, that's one less person out there making niche posts about the decor in the captains' offices. My point is, thanks for writing in! It is nice to hear there are people out there enjoying my work.
I hope you enjoy the fanfic! A story is only half a story until someone has read it, and I'm really enjoying hearing people's reactions to it. Good luck with your finals and thank you again for all the nice compliments, they have been very good for my heart!
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my official reasonings/ramblings for why each song on my steddie playlist was added because the brainrot is real (this list is constantly being updated!)
i tried to keep this as close to the actual time frame as possible, but any song can be a steddie song since eddie is actually alive and well ofc 🥰
any song with just the reasoning being “Steve” or “Eddie” means it’s a song on that’d i think would be on their playlist/they’d listen to and may or may not think about the other while they do
Eddie My Love - The Chordettes duh. but also this is the song Steve puts on the jukebox in response to the scenario below with ‘Hey Lover’ (here’s a drabble I wrote for this and ‘Hey Lover’)
I Was Made For Lovin' You - KISS Eddie’s Steve song; part of my #steddieweek2023 fic
Mary On A Cross - Ghost Literally all the first steddie edits I saw on tiktok were to this song
Hey Lover - The Daughters of Eve I have an scenario in my head of Eddie putting this song on a jukebox in a small diner, saying “hey that sounds like you Stevie” at the line “You don’t have to be a king” and blushing like crazy when Steve smirks and asks “You trying to tell me something, Munson?” (here’s a drabble I wrote for this and ‘Eddie My Love’’)
Sex on Fire - Kings of Leon this tiktok by luna.weasley11 that says it sounds like Eddie singing
Never Ever Getting Rid of Me - Waitress Soundtrack POV, Eddie singing this to Steve because Eddie didn’t die and Steve and Robin work at a diner now, fight me.
Teenage Dirtbag - Wheatus Eddie singing about Steve; Steve comes to Eddie at prom (Steve is chaperoning or is Robin’s date idk) and invites him to an Iron Maiden concert. basically this post by erlij on twitter (the twt post was what i saw first, but they also posted it here on tumblr (@erlie))
Pour Some Sugar On Me - Def Leppard Eddie
You Shook Me All Night Long - AC/DC Eddie
Head Over Heels - Tears for Fears Steve’s Eddie song; part of my #steddieweek2023 fic
Angeleyes - ABBA AU where King Steve and Eddie meet earlier and maybe fool around and this is Eddie after King Steve drops him (don’t worry they still get together later after Steve isn’t a complete ASS.).
Cry Little Sister - Gerard McMann Kas!Eddie vibes also Lost Boys?? Hello?? - also this vid from @verk0my of steve meeting vamp eddie the first time
Lay All Your Love On Me - ABBA Steve
Everybody Wants To Rule The World - Tears For Fears Steve’s “Heat of the Moment”/groundhog day song from “The Lathe” by @palmviolet on AO3
1985 - Bo Burnham duh
Master of Puppets - Metallica DUH
Running Up That Hill (A Deal With God) - Kate Bush duh, but also this Kas!Eddie x Steve fanvid by @softoreos on youtube
Psycho Killer - Talking Heads was in the show, but I added it to this playlist because of this tiktok by roguealien (@rogue-alien here on tumblr)
Take on Me - a-ha Steve
Somebody To Love - Queen duh, but also: don’t watch this Ella Enchanted AU vid by roguealien on tiktok and then DON’T think about this song/scene in the movie but steddie
Take My Breath Away - Berlin duh
Bad Habit - Steve Lacy Steve to Eddie when he finds out Eddie had a crush on him and was too late to do anything about it either due to canon or because Eddie’s in a coma from his injuries
Voulez-Vous - ABBA added because I read this fic by @bmodiwrites where Eddie walks in on Dustin and Steve singing and dancing to this while cooking and it sends Eddie into a mixtape-making spiral
Eddie Baby - Felix Hagen & the Family AU where the fruity four go see Corroded Coffin play at some gay bar in Indianapolis’ open mic night and after Corroded Coffin plays, Steve, Robin, and Nancy surprise Eddie by being the next act to go up on stage; Steve singing as a confession to Eddie, Robin and Nancy as his backup/band! I finally wrote this!! tumblr | AO3
You Spin Me Round (Like a Record) - Dead Or Alive Steve’s “Oh shit I have a crush on Eddie Munson” song
Kiss the Go-Goat - Ghost seen this used in steddie edits
Tainted Love - Soft Cell Eddie with his big ol’ pining crush on Steve
I Ran (So Far Away) - Flock of Seagulls Eddie coded: “Outside of D&D, I am no hero. I see danger and I just turn heel and run. Or at least that's what I've learned about myself this week.”. also, “..with auburn hair and tawny eyes” is obv. about Steve
Play With Me - Extreme Eddie
Hungry Eyes - Eric Carmen Steve
This Charming Man - The Smiths Steve coded
Heart Of Glass (Live) - Miley Cyrus the song fits the era, but this is the version I like better tbh
Spillways - Ghost idk, i like it and I think Eddie’d like Ghost in the future
Don’t You Want Me - The Human League classic 80s song
Super Freak - Rick James classic 80s song (also I love the Hillywood ST parody vid)
Crazy Little Thing Called Love - Queen DUH
As the World Falls Down - David Bowie, Labyrinth HELLO?? JARETH!EDDIE AND SARAH!STEVE?? “I will be there for you as the world falls down”??? editing this one to add THIS BEAUTIFUL ART BY @vesperalhemlock
The Power Of Love - Huey Lewis & The News perfect for S3 steddie!
Can’t Fight This Feeling - REO Speedwagon classic 80s song, plus a fic of the same name by @steddieasitgoes where Steve finds a mix tape Eddie Made about him and this song is on the tape twice because Eddie is that down bad for him
I’m Still Standing - Elton John fits both of them, Steve after having gone through all the upside-down bullshit, Eddie still standing tall after everything he’s been through
Le Hace Falta Un Beso - EL Chapo De Sinaloa this tiktok/meme by littlecorvo also i’m in LOVE with hispanic!Eddie
Watching Over Me - Radio Company i used this song for the title to my destiel!steddie fic bc it's a super destiel coded song by jackles himself!!
The King Has Lost His Crown - ABBA STEVE’S SONG FR ARE YOU KIDDING ME?? ABBA?? The title?? “The world is upside-down”?? In the words of my friend Eli (@transizzyhands): “I can’t believe abba invented Steve harrington”; now part of my #steddieweek2023 fic
Rainbow in the Dark - Dio Eddie
Last Christmas - Wham! idk, i’ve seen edits of them to this song and also i love this song lmao
Hopelessly Devoted To You - Olivia Newton-John Sandy!Steve x Danny!Eddie
SOS - ABBA Steve pining after Eddie even though he’s gone
Acolyte - Slaughter Beach, Dog “Eddie, I want you to marry me, we’ll wait a few years, I don’t mean to frighten you, I just wanna be clear.” (this specific vid by tubesock_ (@tubesock86 here on tumblr) made me add this to the playlist!)
Your Love - The Outfield Steve
More Than a Feeling - Boston classic
Is This Love - Whitesnake there was a specific video by chloeeerenee on tiktok that made me add this song to the playlist but it has since been deleted 😔; also part of my #steddieweek2023 fic
Love Bites - Judas Priest Kas/Vampire!Eddie x Steve vibes, this art by @eddiemunsonrulesmylife, ALSO THE ART FROM THIS ALBUM IS A POSTER IN EDDIE’S TRAILER FROM THE ST SET
Every Breath You Take - The Police this is giving either ghost!eddie still watching over steve OR steve pining after eddie from afar as far back as S2
Kickstart My Heart - Motley Crue i originally thought Eddie would’ve liked this song, but now i’m thinking that steve is the one that ends up liking it and is like ‘oh, you like this right? this is metal?’ and Eddie has to be all 😬😬😬 ‘yeah stevie, i love this song’
Good Old-Fashioned Lover Boy - Queen THEM!! classic 80s song, also this vid by roguealien
Honey, Honey - ABBA Steve
Camel by Camel - Mix Vocal - Sandy Marton this video by @/marcluvr on tiktok
Rock You LIke A Hurricane - Scorpions Eddie
Beautiful Boy (Darling Boy) - John Lennon them ❤️ also this edit vid with the album by lordnessly
You Really Got Me - Van Halen Eddie
Starman - David Bowie from a Instagram story by @szczurherbacany; when they posted the first pic on this insta post, had this song on it!! basically, steve's moles/freckles are constellations
Take A Chance On Me - ABBA Eddie wanting Steve to take a chance on him
Turbo Lover - Judas Priest this art by @eddiemunsonrulesmylife
Owner of a Lonely Heart - Yes Steve
Freaks - Surf Curse Eddie coded
Going to Georgia - The Mountain Goats the song for the songfic title “the most remarkable thing about you standing in the doorway is that it’s you” and its sequel “frozen with joy right where i stand” by @greatunironic ; AKA steddie fic royalty
The Promise - When In Rome this tiktok from nextjen
(I Just) Died In Your Arms - Cutting Crew Kinda literal lmao sorry
Sweet Leaf - Black Sabbath In my fave steddie fic “The Shire is NOT on Fire” by @kissesforcas, Steve tells Eddie that this song reminds him of his love (Eddie); it makes sense when you read it!.
For Whom The Bell Tolls - Metallica Eddie’d love this song but also this vid specifically from @toktopus-art
Ballroom Blitz - Sweet idk why but this is giving me fruity four vibes OR will be the song that will be playing during S5’s big fight™ and we find out eddie’s still alive and the big fight™ is the party vs. kas!eddie and vecna
Shout - Tears For Fears Steve
Somebody’s Watching Me - Rockwell this vid by roguealien
Dancing In the Dark - Bruce Springsteen Steve coded in general also this art by @mankanar
You’re The One That I Want - John Travolta, Olivia Newton-John Sandy!Steve x Danny!Eddie in general, specifically this vid and this vid from toktopus-art
Lovesong - The Cure duh
This Year - The Mountain Goats this vid by roguealien
I Will Follow Him - Peggy March this vid by roguealien
Be My Baby - The Ronettes part 4 to my mixtape fic!
Take Me Home Tonight - Eddie Money duh! but also i added this to my #steddieweek2023 fic!
Enjoy the Silence - Depeche Mode this vid by vimenage is what made me add this song to the playlist!
I’m Still Here (Jim’s Theme) - Treasure Planet soundtrack Eddie coded; seriously makes me emotional thinking about Eddie singing this like wtf
Rewrite The Stars - The Greatest Showman soundtrack in my head this is a AU where Steve is the rich boy that falls for acrobat Eddie; Steve joins the show just as staff to get away from his Dad/family, travel with the show and to learn more about the absolutely enchanting trapeze artist (like Ewan McGregor does in Big Fish but his love is in the show he’s working for). Steve wants to go all in in their relationship and Eddie is wary because he doesn’t trust rich boy Steve (at first) and also he is more cautious of how their relationship would be perceived to anyone outside the showgrounds/performers/their friends and pushes him away because of it.
I Won’t Say I’m in Love - Hercules Soundtrack DUH!!! A classic song for any ship; Eddie is Meg and Steve is Hercules obv. w/ corroded coffin and/or robin and dustin are the muses being like, “we all know you’re down bad for the big hunky jock you can’t fool us eddie.”; bonus! i wrote this!
Misunderstanding - Ninja Sex Party classic angst song (this version cause I personally prefer it over the original)
Radio Ga Ga - Queen I feel like they’d both love this song
Agora Te Puedes Marchar - Luis Miguel this edit from moonysmunson
Time After Time - Cyndi Lauper Steve after Eddie died 🙃
I Want to Know What Love Is - Foreigner Steve when he’s going through is sexuality crisis/figuring out his crush on Eddie
Careless Whisper - Wham! 😏
Crazy For You - Madonna Steve
Heaven - Bryan Adams future steddie!!!! 😭😭😭
St. Elmo’s Fire (Man in Motion) - John Parr Steve coded, thinking he’s the only one who can save everyone and once it’s all over, just being on top of the world being with Eddie and getting the fuck away from his fuckass dad
Broken Wings - Mr. Mister
I Can’t Help Myself (Sugar Pie, Honey Bunch) - Four Tops Eddie has a soft spot for sappy oldies
All I Ask Of You - Phantom of the Opera soundtrack added this for the steddie fic i wrote where Eddie was a theater kid in school and steve fell for him when he saw Eddie play the Phantom
Necesito Decirte - Conjunto Primavera my hubby found this song after looking for it for a while and the lyrics fit a lost depressed steve after eddie is gone
Tragos Amargos - Ramon Ayala sad sappy songs for eddie music hc, but this time it’s hispanic!eddie(, my love)
Quién Como Tú - Ana Gabriel this vid by corvus_chronicles on tiktok (@corvuschronicles here on tumblr) with hispanic eddie jamming to this while cleaning 🥰
If I Could Turn Back Time - Cher timeloop fics 🫠🙃
Alone - Heart this vid by @becomingfoxes that made me realize i hadn’t put this on my playlist yet????
Bigger Than The Whole Sky -Taylor Swift this edit by mira (@/hellfiresteddie on twitter) FUCKING HELL ARE YOU KIDDING ME WITH THIS BULLSHIT??? ALSO @strawberryspence and @undreaming-fanfiction's fic of the same name
Welcome to the Black Parade - My Chemical Romance this video 🙃🙃
Teenager in Love - Dion & The Belmonts they really do just be two teenagers in love?? also see prev. explanations about Eddie having a soft spot for sappy oldies because of Wayne
Love is a Battlefield - Pat Benatar Steve
Boys Don’t Cry - The Cure Steve
Wouldn’t It Be Nice - The Beach Boys It really would be nice if they could just be in love and happy, wouldn’t it?? sorrynotsorry about making this happy sounding song sad
The End of the World - Skeeter Davis Steve being in his feels after Eddie’s gone (Believe it or not, I don’t really like angst, I promise! idk what’s up with me lmao)
Can’t Help Falling In Love - Elvis Presley they really can’t lol
Holding Out for a Hero - Bonnie Tyler Steve deserves a bashing in some UD monsters heads montage to this song; now also included in part 5 of my mixtape fic!
Lady Stardust - David Bowie this tweet about how this song is Flight Risk steddie coded
Something About You - Level 42 Steve
Into the Groove - Madonna Steve
How Will I Know - Whitney Houston Steve
Always Something There to Remind Me - Naked Eyes after eddie dies, steve seeing things everywhere that remind him of eddie
Like a Prayer - Madonna “I’m down on my knees, i wanna take you there”?? 👀
The Man Who Sold the World - David Bowie it’s giving witness protection eddie, maybe WP eddie that even the party thought died but then find him again??
Heartbeat - Wham! this vid by rachelismommytbh on tiktok that inspired my #steddieweek2023 fic!
My Boyfriend’s Back - The Angels this vid 🤗 by @ranebowstitches on tiktok
Out of Touch - Daryl Hall and John Oates Steve worried he might not have the time to get to know the guy that may or may not have made him realize things about himself after the world didn't end. now also part of my #steddieweek2023 fic
Soldier, Poet, King - The Oh Hellos this video from @sam-loves-seb that made me bawl uncontrollably!
Your Kind of Lover - Freddie Mercury this tiktok from @miserablekingsteve ; and now in my #steddieweek2023 fic
Underground - Cody Fry this video by @maatdraws
Object of My Desire - Starpoint this vid that pointed out this is canon Steve music; it plays in the car in s4 e1!
Self Control - Laura Branigan
True - Spandau Ballet
Stephen - Ke$ha you can't tell me that eddie wouldn't sing steve's name to him in this exact tone whenever he sees him after hearing this (either modern au or ELND and they are together through the 2010s etc.)
People Are People - Depeche Mode steve internally being like 'damn why does eddie hate me sm?' i.e. before getting together, after vecna, eddie is still wary of "King Steve"
Forever - KISS this HC post from @undreaming-fanfiction about steve and eddie's first dance to this song at their wedding; now also my #steddieweek2023 fic
The Trooper - Iron Maiden eddie would BODY this guitar!! also this is from the same album that eddie grabs from robin and says "THIS. IS. MUSIC."
Runnin' with the Devil - Van Halen I can see Eddie blasting this through town just to see how offended people get, leaning into the rumors and all that; now also because of my #steddieweek2023 fic
Kiss On My List - Daryl Hall & John Oates Steve; also in my #steddieweek2023 fic
Faithfully - Journey in my head, this one goes like this: at the end of one of his shows, rockstar!eddie says "okay guys, we're about done here, and there's just one more song i want to play for you. it's a little outside of our normal type of thing, but there's a very special someone out there in the crowd who just loves these guys... so, to stevie, thank you for sticking by me through the absolute hell that touring can be, thank you for always being there for me in general really.." he chuckles into the mic, "anyway, this one's for you sunshine." he goes to leave the mic but comes back to mumble out a "also, please don't sue us, journey." and plays this for his steve ❤
Girls Just Wanna Have Fun - Cyndi Lauper tbh i’m getting girls day/sleepover at steve’s (robin, nancy, erica, el, max) and he gets pulled into a dance party/sing-off to this song, and afterwards, while they are giving him a makeover, tells the rest of them about his crush on eddie (robin already knows obv)
I Want It All - Queen
Everybody Needs - Danny Elfman this video from @/havisham.hfc on tiktok
Easy Lover - Philip Bailey, Phil Collins
Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go - Wham! Steve (duh), but also tbh i saw this edit of my original blorbos and i immediately thought but what if also steddie??
Hold The Line - TOTO “love isn’t always on time”?? it’s giving canon ending to s4 and steve realizing his feelings too late 🙃 also, now in my #steddieweek2023 fic
American Pie - Don McLean this vid by @strawberryspence
Stand by Me - Ben E. King i saw a top 10 songs of the 60s and for some reason this one made my brain go brrrrrrrsteddiebrrrrr
La vie en rose - Louis Armstrong from @ohliooh’s playlist for their fic One Need Not Be A House 🙃
Livin’ on a Prayer - Bon Jovi this post by @sparrowtapes, duh of course steve has a crush on eddie cause he also has a crush on bon jovi
Uptown Girl - Billy Joel steve is the uptown girl he (eddie) is singin' about obv
There Is a Light That Never Goes Out - The Smiths steve just wanting to get out of his house and away from his lonely thoughts, even before steddie, just being out doing nothing with eddie starts to mean everything to him
Dreams - Van Halen steddie talking about getting their dreams of getting out of hawkins, even before steddie happens
At Last - Etta James my #steddieweek2023 fic
Remains of the Day - Danny Elfman this original corpse groom au by @undreaming-fanfiction that inspired this continuation i did covering the remains of the day scene!!
For the Dancing and the Dreaming - How To Train Your Dragon 2 soundtrack this video by @/stevie.boy_19 on tiktok that WRECKED me 🥰 also included it in my fic here
You Give Love A Bad Name - Bon Jovi this video by @/mione.ae on tiktok 🥵🥵
A Guy That I’d Kinda Be Into - Be More Chill soundtrack this video by @toktopus-art
I’ve Got You Under My Skin - Michael Bublé the song from ‘The Proposal’ and the title for @strawberryspence ‘s fic of the same name. the most bestest, most important most au fic ever
Hysteria - Def Leppard this tiktok from @/doodle_soup72
Burnin' for You - Blue Oyster Cult
Lovers In A Dangerous Time - Bruce Cockburn suggested by this lovely anon, these lyrics are super steddie coded
In My Head - Joe Sarafini & Andrew Barth Feldman this video by @/usu_mimi on tiktok (i’ve been assuming this is @usumimi here on tumblr!)
Poison - Alice Cooper Eddie being mad at being down bad for Steve, everything about him being dangerous for Eddie to have feelings for. like, s1 era
Everywhere - Fleetwood Mac Steve AND Eddie (surprisingly/not surprisingly; it's Wayne's fault he likes Stevie Nicks, okay?)
Shadows of the Night - Pat Benetar Steve
Foolish Heart - Steve Perry Steve
Renegade - Styx i've had this one associated with spn/the winchesters in my brain for so long but this post by @roykentt made me see that it's also eddie's song fr fr fr
Never Ending Song - Conan Gray this video from naysa on tiktok that made it so now all i can think of is eddie when i hear this lmao
Would That I - Hozier this video from @tubesock86
Indiana Wants Me - Eddie Taylor this video and art from @rogue-alien
Love Me Like There’s No Tomorrow - Freddie Mercury their last night together bc they decided they just don’t work anymore, or eddie is being hauled off into witness protection and won’t be allowed to see steve anymore, hell, even a “you’re getting married tomorrow morning and this is our last night together” vibe. and then i cried.
Dance the Night Away - Freddie Mercury
Work Song - Hozier i got a brainworm about this song and wrote this thing
When I See You Smile - Bad English
If You Love Me (Really Love Me) - Brenda Lee
Back to the Old House - The Smiths this video by @/eliminatolives on tiktok
Little Lies - Fleetwood Mac from this tiktok that i could 100% see being a years later meet cute between the boys (eddie is dancing in the middle of the aisle lmao)
Cheri Cheri Lady - Modern Talking
Talking In Your Sleep - The Romantics steve
Freak of the Week - Freak Kitchen idk i just love this song and i could totally see this beinga song/video Corroded Coffin would do. can you imagine the animated versions of the boys in this video?? iconic
Here I Go Again - Whitesnake
The Boys Of Summer - Don Henley classic song, theme song for summer fling fics in my head (also the title song for this fic by steveharringtoned)
Give Him A Great Big Kiss - The Shangri-Las this little thing by @thefatedthoughtofyou
I Think We're Alone Now - Tommy James & The Shondells
Dial Drunk - Noah Kahan king steve song fr, i hc the person he's calling is his mom and she doesn't answer or tells Hop to just leave him there to teach him a lesson or smth (completely ignoring the fact that he's a high schooler getting drunk on the regular). i have more thoughts about an au where steve writes this song and eddie is a more established star who adds his vocals to it as a re-release but that's for another time.
Run Away to Mars - TALK for this thing i wrote of eddie being the one to sing this about steve
Sherry - Frankie Valli & The Four Seasons tbh i just like this song, but also i can see either finding out the other does too and starting to sing along to it but replacing 'sherry' with 'eddie' or 'stevie' lmao
Holy Diver - Dio duh
Seek & Destroy - Metallica kas!eddie comeback theme song. he and his army of demobats are hunting down the hawkins gang, montage of them all fighting, ending when eddie finds steve backed into a corner with only his bat >:)
As Long As It's Not About Love - Dio from this post by @novakiart
To Be Young Again - Holy Wire this sounds like steddie finding each other again after being something back in the day and now they are wistful about what could have been and also what was
#steddie#mine#steddie playlist#spotify#spoofy#steve harrington#eddie munson#st#stranger things#st hc#stranger things hc#stranger things playlist#ref#Spotify
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Pinned post/My info:
Last updated May 29, 2024
TL;DR: Marr, he/she/they, neurodivergent, Total Drama (Alenoah, Priyemma, etc), fanfiction, sideblog @priyemma
Im goofin!
Hello! My name is Marr! I use He/She/They, whatever. I’m Omni, Bigender, and Aspec. I’m cool with any gendered terms, and I pretty much use them interchangeably myself. Gal, guy, neither, whatever!
I have ADHD and anxiety (both diagnosed) along with other things, but those are the ones I’ll probably talk about on here the most. I’m mixed White and Latina (plus Native) but fairly white passing. I speak English and want to learn Spanish, but I’m definitely not fluent. American, and a lot more “country” than I realize lol (I’m a midwestern gal)
Right now im really into Total Drama. It’s one of my longest lasting hyperfixations so far! I also post about a few other things, like House M.D and Dungeon Meshi. (More likely reblogging those things though)
Specifically in Total Drama I mostly post about Alenoah and Priyemma. Recently been talking about the newest Reboot season (and my complaints with it). I talk the most about World Tour and TDI 2023 because it’s been a while since I’ve watched all the seasons and those are the ones I remember the best. I plan to rewatch them all… someday. I haven’t even finished watching reboot s2 because it’s painful!
I love shipping! I can’t even list them all because there’s so many tbh. I am very much a multi shipper and I constantly am finding new things to ship! I try to not engage in ship hate ever, but sometimes I slip up lol. I post some less-than-positive content about Nemma on occasion or Juliayne… everything that could be considered ship hate is tagged as such and never tagged with the ship that is being slandered.
I can’t really draw, so if I ever post my beginner drawings please be nice lol 😭 I’m still developing a style and learning. I have many, many WIPs that I might share here and there. I do really want to be able to draw confidently and make art for the things I love!
I’ve started writing fanfiction again lately! It’s a struggle for a lot of reasons. Props to everyone who writes fics because it’s hard. It takes me hella long too… I have a lot I’m writing but few published lol. My user is Marrfixated on AO3, feel free to leave comments or kudos!
I’ve written four Alenoah oneshots so far. Most recently posted Contra Entendre, so go read that! I have 3 other oneshots that are somewhat written and I’ll post someday, but I’ve shifted my focus to planning some longer fics. I currently have an Alenoah AU and a Priyemma post-canon fic in the works! The latter is my main focus as I plan out the entire thing… kind of obsessed with it.
I also have tiktok @Marrfixated. I post on tumblr more than TikTok because it’s easier, but I started off there. I mainly repost (reblog) things on TikTok. I don’t really use anything else yet (except ao3). I also have a Priyemma centric sideblog on here (@priyemma), where I’ll usually reblog content from and vice versa.
You’re on thin ice if you engage in ship discourse, constantly hate on ship I like (it makes me sad 💔), or are a dsmp fan/an enjoyer of any of Vivziepop’s works (I don’t like you).
Proshippers DNI. Zionists DNI. TERFs DNI. Vivziepop defenders DNI. Dream supporters DNI. Dsmp supporters also DNI. Do some damn research. Also general DNI… I can’t list everything that makes someone a terrible person.
I might post suggestive things here sometimes, but rarely and usually jokingly. Anything like that would be tagged accordingly, and let me know if there’s something for me to add. I don’t plan to EVER post nsfw or suggestive content related to td, it makes me uncomfortable as most of the characters are minors. I do curse a lot, and reclaim the f slur on occasion. Please don’t engage in ship discourse on my account for no reason! That’s no fun.
I usually take like 3 years to answer asks or dms or whatnot for various reasons… but I swear I don’t mean any offense! I just um forget sometimes 😇 Or I post it to drafts instead… or I get nervous 😶 and sometimes idk if you just sent it or want me to actually respond so I just guess? Ummm yeah. Also they go missing a lot. Probably have to figure that out. Oops! But basically… I’m not a passive aggressive person, and I mean no ill will if I don’t answer anything
I reblog a lot, so I tag all my non-reblogs as #original post. Lazy posts are usually tagged with #shitpost. Random posts are usually tagged as #nonfandom post. My td fics are tagged as #my fanfiction, but it’s probably easier just to find them on ao3
That’s it!
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Authors On THG Writing Hiatus Masterlist (12)
Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 4 / Part 5 / Part 6 / Part 7 / Part 8 / Part 9 / Part 10 / Part 11 /
***Active (on this blog) is defined as a blog/writer who has updated within the past year. Inactive (on this blog) is defined as a blog/writer that has not been updated at all in the past year+. On THG Writing Hiatus (on this blog) is a blog/writer who has updated within the past year but has not posted a fanfic in the fandom in the past year BUT they may return to writing in the future. Lists will be updated as needed based on activity. ***
Created: December 27th, 2023
Last Checked:---
jennycakes-ao3, tumblr, ff.net
Popular Fic: Tomorrow Will Be Kinder- It's been four years since the Mockingjay took down the Capitol, and both Gale Hawthorne and Madge Undersee have been working with the new government to make a better future. Unfortunately, they're both in District 2. The two of them have been doing a great job at avoiding each other and minding their own business, but a chance string of events brings them together again and again. It isn't until Madge starts feeling strange after one late night with Gale do they accidentally become permanent people in one another's lives. How will the two of them balance their careers and their increasingly complicated personal lives?
Joshs_left_earlobe :: ao3, ff.net, tumblr
Popular Fic: The Lion's Tooth-Summary: Overwhelmed by memories of the past, Peeta withdraws from life at home. Katniss thinks she's found a way to revive their relationship, but does it come with a price?
keeptheearthbelow :: ao3, tumblr
Popular Fic: I've Hungered for Your Touch a Long, Lonely Time-Katniss and Peeta find their way to each other — no matter how many decades it takes.
LolaBleu :: ao3, ff.net, tumblr
Popular Fic: Picture at an Exhibition-Katniss had run out her house in terror - eyes wild, hair wild, thin, wane, waxen, feral -, and Peeta had thought of Annie Cresta; beautiful, mad, Annie as they stared at each other. He tried to block out the crashing coming from inside, tried to block out the helpless feeling in the pit of his stomach. It wasn't until later, after he spent the day turning his house into the home it never was in the year he spent in it between games, that Greasy Sae had knocked on his door and he realized how bad things had been for Katniss in his absence.
melchimaus :: ao3, tumblr
Popular Fic: Present-Katniss spends the day without Peeta... kind of.
misshoneywell :: ao3, ff.net, tumblr
Popular Fic: No Unicorns-Two years, three months and four days: that's how long it's been since Katniss Everdeen has had sex. Someone wants to help her change that.
MockingJayFlyingFree :: ao3, ffnet, tumblr, prompts in panem
Popular Fic: The Miner's Wife-In an alternate universe in which Prim was never reaped, Katniss married Gale at the age of 18, as a good Seam girl should. 12 years later, she has two children with him. Peeta Mellark, the lone victor of the 74th Hunger Games, is a failed mentor and a prostitute in the Capitol. When he is home in District 12, he is self-destructive and on his way to becoming an alcoholic. What happens when their paths cross for the first time since that fateful incident with the bread?
Pikelet184 :: ao3, ffnet, tumblr
Popular Fic: Daily Favors-Katniss buys her best friend and roommate, Peeta, a Favor Coupon Booklet for his birthday. She thinks he’ll get a kick out of it as she’s always been lazy when it comes to chores - but when he opens it, his reaction isn’t exactly what she expected. Will miscommunication, assumptions and misunderstanding lead to the end of their friendship - or will it lead to something more?
quothme :: ao3, ff.net
Popular Fic: The Victor-There’s a legend in District 12, passed down through the years, that tells of a lost soul, a miner who turned left when his brethren turned right. They call him the Blind Man. No longer alive, but unable to die. Dark AU.
SoThere :: ao3, ff.net, tumblr
Popular Fic: A Softer Place to Land-After giving Katniss some surprising news, Prim disappears from her sister's life. While trying to move on, Katniss receives a phone call that will challenge everything she knows about life and love.
#masterlist#everlark fanfiction#thg fanfiction#everlark#thg#writing-hiatus authors#writing-hiatus#writing-hiatus authors masterlist
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decided to celebrate some one-shots and fics under 20k, because they’re special and important and i love them, and they can sometimes get lost in the sea of updates, since most of them only get to show up on ao3 once. also i hope all the links and tags work or i will cry
newer fics:
★ speak of the devil (and he doth appear) by @breedxblemickey
Ian glances at the clock as he passes, the neon red numbers displaying the late hour, and murmurs a prayer under his breath.
3.31am
He will be here soon.
★ twenty strangers by @crossmydna
Ian may be a realist in most things, but at heart, he’s a hopeless romantic.
That’s probably why he agrees to kiss a stranger on camera.
★ something to hold on to by @xgoldendays
Ian Gallagher thought he wasn’t prepared for prison but who he really wasn’t ready for was his brand new cell mate, Mickey Milkovich.
or alternatively, Ian and Mickey meet in prison and cuteness and flirting ensues.
★ cricut crisis by @whatthebodygraspsnot
Mickey is actively getting his shit together, and that's how he finds himself at a spring farmer's market for the first time. It's how he finds himself at a stall with gay pride stuff. It's how he finds himself talking to probably the most handsome guy on the planet. What could possibly go wrong.
★ looked like a teenage runaway by sadwhales
Ian is seventeen when he moves to the South Side. Lip tells him to stay away from the wrong people, but no one remembers to warn him not to fall in love with the neighborhood thug.
★ something good by @unbridgeabledistances
Mickey tried to nod his head, but he was mostly just focused on the warmth of Ian’s fingers pressing into his shoulder. How was he supposed to survive a whole hour of this, of these hands all over his body? Mickey hadn’t been touched beyond a quick hug from Mandy in years— and being touched like this, all over? Maybe never. And yet, this guy— this profoundly, unfairly, hot as fuck guy, was going to put his hands in Mickey’s back, on Mickey’s thighs, and move them around?
He didn’t need this shit today.
**
or, mickey gets a massage
★ pierced skin and tattooed hearts by @mmmichyyy
The moment Ian sees the man with striking blue eyes and multiple piercings, he knows he's absolutely done for.
★ patrick by BitterTongue
gallavich au where ian and mickey meet later in life except mickey thinks ian has a boyfriend bc ian always talks about how ‘patrick and i went on a walk today’ or ‘patrick and i went over to my brothers house for dinner’ or ‘patrick and i both love peanut butter!’ and then ian asks mickey out on a date and mickey is all ‘oh did you and patrick break up?’ and ian is all confused and says ‘patrick is my dog’
★ at attention by @squidyyy23
Cleaning out Ian’s childhood bedroom, Mickey learns about a fantasy he’s been hiding and surprises his Army brat of a husband.
★ fiction in the archives (ficlet collection) by @gardenerian
ficlets and 5+1 prompts originally posted to tumblr
older fics under the cut:
★ the caregiver by Violet_Jones
Mickey cares for his roommate, Ian, in his time of need.
★ what we build could be anything by mayyouwalk
High School AU. Mickey's pretty sure he never signed up to be friends with a Gallagher, but trust Mandy to not give a shit about him or his senior year.
★ out with the old, in with you by BeckyHarvey29
Ian and Mickey are roommates who decide to spend New Year's Eve alone together.
★ two of your earth minutes by the_rat_wins
Mickey figures he has two options: check them both into the hospital, since they're suffering from some sort of shared delusion, or believe the guy when he says he's an alien.
The thing is—Mickey believes him.
(Inspired by the immortal line "I like fucking carrot-tops. Like, with the freckles and the pale skin? Fucking . . . alien-looking?")
★ fake it till you make it by missmichellebelle
“Remember that one time you asked me to do that thing for you, and I never asked any questions, and you didn’t explain a fucking thing, but I did it anyway? Do you remember what you said? That you owed me? Big time? I'm calling in that favor.”
In which Ian did a stupid thing and Mickey is there to bail him out. What are best friends for, right?
★ through the dawn series by spock
★ wide-eyed walker: Ian meets him at a bar. It becomes a thing, but they never do get around to exchanging names.
★ do not wander: "So, how'd you two meet again?"
★ Sweet Talk by the_rat_wins
Ian doesn't like candy hearts. They're chalky and gross and Mickey Milkovich keeps throwing them at his head. (Pre-canon high-school Valentine's Day fluff)
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Happy New Year, my fellow ghostsoap friends! (ﾉ^ヮ^)ﾉ*:・ﾟ✧
Since I have been on a crazy COD hyperfixation lately and writing like a TON, I decided to make a Masterpost with all the links to all the Ghost x Soap fics I've written so far so they're all in one convenient place for your reading pleasure! I will keep the list updated as well, bc I definitely plan on writing lots more with all the amazing prompts I've been getting from you guys 🫶
Let's fuckin GOOOOO!!
Flashbang - Ghost and Soap stumble upon one of the Las Almas Cartel's drug labs trying to escape from the Shadows. They get much more than they bargained for when a vial of a new powerful drug on the market breaks open at their feet. It's going to be one long fucking night.
Rating: E
Tags: sex pollen, mildly dubious consent, blow jobs, size kink, anal fingering, anal sex, choking, bottom Ghost, multiple orgasms, overstimulation, rimming, first time bottoming, frottage, praise kink, spooning, fluff, shameless smut, PWP, top switching
Links: AO3 /// Tumblr post
Word count: 7.4k
Status: Complete - epilogue may be added soon
Forgetting How to Breathe - Soap goes and gets himself captured and Ghost will do anything to get him back.
Rating: M
Tags: Whump, Fluff, Kissing, Blood, One Shot, Hurt/Comfort
Links: AO3 /// Tumblr post
Word count: 1.8k
Status: Complete
Struck Speechless - Soap sees Ghost shirtless for the first time and goes absolutely feral for his knockers. That's it, that's the tweet.
Rating: M
Tags: Body Worship, Nipple Licking, Utter crack, One Shot, Prompt fill
Links: AO3 /// Tumblr post
Word count: 1.6k
Status: Complete
I Knew Him - Soap was never the same after he lost Ghost all those years ago. He still has nightmares about it. But when he learns Makarov is back after taking Ghost from him, he'll do anything to exact his revenge. Until he discovers Ghost was never really gone. (Winter Soldier/Cap AU)
Rating: T and up
Tags: Winter Soldier AU, Angst, Established Relationship, Lost Love, Nightmares, Brainwashing, One Shot, Prompt fill
Links: AO3 /// Tumblr post
Word count: 8.8k
Status: Complete
Careful, Johnny - Soap and Ghost have to hide in a small utility closet to escape their pursuers. Things get a little heated in the cramped space. Not that Soap is complaining.
Rating: E
Tags: Frottage, Smut, Tight Spaces, Top Ghost, PWP, One Shot, Prompt fill
Links: AO3 /// Tumblr post
Word count: 1.4k
Status: Complete
Never Have I Ever - After a long night of celebration, Soap overhears Ghost say something he wasn't supposed to.
Rating: T and up
Tags: Alcohol, Drinking Games, Never Have I Ever, Unrequited Love, Mutual Pining, Prompt Fill, Drunken Confessions, POV First Person, Kissing, Making Out, Neck Kissing, French Kissing
Links: AO3 /// Tumblr post
Word count: 2.2K
Status: Complete
Wreckage - Ghost has been captured while out on a solo mission and Soap goes on a rampage to bring him home. But will Ghost ever truly believe he deserves to be saved?
Rating: E
Tags: kidnapping, torture, fluff and angst, hurt/comfort, blood and injury, guns, whump, bathing/washing, spooning, nightmares, kissing, hand jobs
Links: AO3 // Tumblr post
Word count: 5.9k
Status: Complete
Falling Hard - Ghost and Soap have to infiltrate a posh masquerade party, posing as a romantically involved couple to gather important intel. But the charade just might push their feelings for each other a little too far.
Rating: E
Tags: Fake/Pretend Relationship, Kissing, Fluff and Angst, Mutual Pining, Requited Love, Public Hand Jobs, Frottage, Semi-Public Sex
Links: AO3 // Tumblr post
Word count: 5.2k
Status: Complete
My ask box is always open if you want to drop me a prompt for these two handsome boys! I have a few already in the pipeline, but I’ve been so obsessed with this pairing that I’ve been writing a lot more than I have in a while, so keep those ideas coming!
Cheers to an awesome New Year full of Ghostsoap! Happy reading!
#ghostsoap#ghost x soap#soapghost#ghoap#cod#mw2#fanfiction#simon ghost riley#johnny soap mactavish#writing#prompt request#masterpost
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Loki Fanfiction - Master List
Stumbled upon my Tumblr and not sure where to start? All of my work is listed below with a short summary.
Please note although most of my work contains explicit sexual content, it is consensual between the characters and they are of legal age. Posts of this nature are clearly marked 18+ Please do not engage if it's not your thing / you are under age.
Longer Work
Insubordination - 18+ Explicit Content (Loki x Female, Currently Chapter 11) Wattpad / AO3 only.
This was the first Loki fic I wrote and is currently on hiatus while I re-work it. It will be updated, it's just quite a bit to get through!
The Palace Baths - 18+ Explicit Content (Prince Loki x Female Servant, Ongoing)
Originally a One Shot. I couldn't help but continue this one. Prince Loki has never paid a female servant any mind, or so she thought. He unexpectedly extends an invitation to one of his exclusive gatherings late at night, hosted in the Palace Baths.
The Palace Baths, Part 1
The Palace Baths, Part 2
The Palace Baths, Part 3
The Palace Baths, Part 4
One Shots - 18+ Explicit Content (Loki x Reader)
These are all posted as collections on Wattpad & AO3 if you prefer to read on those platforms.
Happy Birthday, Mr President (President Loki x Female)
During a televised Birthday performance, President Loki teases his pet, leaving her squirming during the Birthday meal that follows.
A Prayer Answered (Loki x Female)
Hard day at work? Unable to settle, the readers mind drifts to thoughts of Loki, only to find the God himself stood at the foot of her bad after hearing her call.
Occupied (Loki x Female Rival - Request)
Tired of the crowds of swooning maidens Prince Thor attracts to the training grounds, a female warrior finds somewhere a little quieter to train. Only she's not left in peace for long when Prince Loki disturbs her.
The King of Jotunheim (Jotunn Loki x Female)
The King of Jotunheim, Part 2 (Jotunn Loki x Female)
Loki never left Jotunheim. Following the death of his father, he inherits the throne and quickly improves the realm for its inhabitants. Alfheim has been carefully watching from afar and arranges a visit to form a treaty. Rader has been selected to protect the dignitaries during their trip, only they have other plans for her…
Nervous? (Lady Loki x Female)
Set on Asgard, the reader spots a mysterious, enchanting woman walking through the halls of the palace. Lady Loki is quick to spot the reader's gawping and follows them into the library.
Saviour (Female Warrior x Prince Loki)
When a serpentine beast wages an attack on Asgard, the warriors are quick to defend the realm with Prince Thor and Prince Loki by their side. Only things don't go to plan.
Breakfast (Female Chef at Avengers Tower x Loki)
Tony Stark has hosted yet another grand party at the Avenger's Tower. Reader refuses her invitation, instead offering to cover the breakfast shift so her colleagues can have a good time.
Undeniable (Female x Loki)
Set before Thor arrives in Thor: Ragnarok, the realm comes to terms with the death of Prince Loki. Loki's plan of appearing as Odin is going perfectly well… until an old acquaintance uncovers his secret.
Shorter Works
Protective / Comforting Loki (Loki x Anxious Reader) - 643 Words Loki comforts reader following a panic attack. Based on my own personal experience with anxiety.
What If… Loki Episode 1 (Loki x Sigyn) - 566 Words Just a shorter piece about how that would have happened if Sigyn had been waiting for Loki in the Gobi Desert.
Bite-Sized Smut - 18+ Explicit Content
#1 - Loki is questioned on his abilities in the bedroom and takes the opportunity to prove his talent to his sceptical volunteer. (Loki x Female, 190 Words)
Requests
I am open to requests, whether it's a line prompt or something more specific. I love hearing what you would like to read, so please let me know!
Just a few things to note:
Please do not request non-con, I am not comfortable writing this.
I always have multiple stories that I'm working on, so there may be a delay in my answer while I complete any current work.
All requests are appreciated, and I carefully contemplate each one, thinking up a plot that would work. Please do not be offended if I do not complete your request, I find it impossible to do my best work if it's not something I 100% connect with.
Dividers from @firefly-graphics post which can be found here.
#loki masterlist#masterlist#master list#loki fanfiction#loki fanfic#loki fandom#loki laufeyson#loki odinson#mcu loki#fanfiction#ao3 fanfic#loki smut#loki x reader#loki series
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Gloomysoup Updates:
i've come to the realization that i posted exactly One (1) thing ab kinktober a few weeks ago and then never said anything ab it again.. oops. ima be honest i kinda forgot..
i will finish organizing and have something resembling a masterlist for the month up here in the next few days. it may change as the month progresses, depending on what my work schedule looks like, but i will hopefully be able to stay on track and actually post real content 🫡
i'm also hoping to start getting some one shots up that i've been working on, but those will likely go up starting in november, cross-posted on both tumblr and ao3. i have a few half-finished things i've been playing around with and getting feedback from friends on.
ALSO per my chaptered fic ideas:
typically i wait until i have the whole thing almost finished before i do much else with it, however i'm anxious to get things posted sooner rather than later. i know i've gained quite a few followers thru my little peeks at bts of several wips. i've been posted snippets on and off for a while now without actually giving any real content... and honestly i feel really bad ab it. i appreciate the traction i've gotten on this app and i really do want to give everyone what they came here for, despite how i may feel ab putting things out there right now.
i have a few wips that are making decent progress. i have a handle of first chapters almost completed. i MAY start posting them here in the near future, mainly with fics i already have fully plotted out. the others are still being worked out plot wise and i don't trust myself to stick w original ideas enough to post them anytime soon, but i may be able to get first chapters of secrets, stepdads, and daycare out once i'm satisfied with where they wrap up.
all this being said, my work schedule lately has been super fucked up. everything is a big mess and there's little consistency in anything. by the time i get home, i'm completely drained and usually go straight to bed just to get up and do it all again the next morning. we're severely understaffed and the owners are expecting those of us on day shift to pick up evening shift's slack every single time (as if we're not already there all day doing our jobs AND theirs, they expect us to do it on days we're supposed to be off). it also doesn't help that i'm still living w my parents in a sort of toxic environment and desperately trying to get out.
thankfully, things should be getting smoothed out soon. i'm hoping to make more progress on writing and getting things posted as soon as possible. i promise i'm trying. if you've stuck around this long, thank you. i truly appreciate all of you.
that's all for now. keep your eyes out for more updates and master lists to come :)
- gloomysoup
#gloomysoup#gloomysoup writing#gloomysoup writes#gloomysoup ao3#stranger things#steddie#steve harrington#eddie munson#steve x eddie#omegaverse steddie#alpha eddie munson#omega steve harrington#steddie fic#stranger things fic#steddie fanfiction#steddie au#steddie fics#steddie dads#stranger things fanfiction
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Falling Asleep At The Wheel - A Severitus Fanfiction
“At least if his professor killed him he’d never have to worry about seeing Dudley again. The thought sounded much too appealing…”
Chapter 7 is up!
Hopefully this post uploads!
I have tried posting on Tumblr for chapters 5 and 6 but it was a long process involving updating my tumblr and getting all my drafted posts deleted.
HOWEVER I have uploaded my chapters on time and we have made some progress.
I am at 1,900+ views on Ao3 and for that I just am in awe. It’s been a little less than a month and I’m so happy with all the support I’ve received.
I am gonna be a little busy next weekend so next update may be late but I’m going to try my hardest to have it up by 09/17/23
As always, leave comments/questions below and have a great week y’all
-Fairy
#child abuse#dumbledore bashing#emotional abuse#father/son#harry potter#harry potter fanfiction#ron weasley bashing#severus snape#severitus#professor snape#professor dumbledore#minerva mcgonagall#poppy pomfrey
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Introduction
It has come to my attention that a lot of people make introduction posts on their blogs, so I've decided to create one!
My Content:
I'm an artist and a writer. I post whenever I make Toontown related art and I also post my Clash headcanons to my blog.
Can I leave a request?
For headcanons: yes! It's free game. I can't guarantee I can give you an answer, but you can ask me to leave pretty much any HCs as long as it's family friendly.
For art: no. I don't take requests for art; however, I do take commissions. Please click this link for more information, but prices start at $20 and may go as high as $95+ depending on what you want. I also only draw family friendly content.
What's this Playground Swap AU?
This is an AU I created where the 16 managers added in 1.3 are assigned to work in different playgrounds. Some of them even change job titles! If you'd like to read more about it, you can do so here. Please note it will have VERY slow updates but I'm not abandoning it!
What's this ask blog about?
This is just a silly blog for me to roleplay as my OCs on Tumblr and answer questions. If you wanna learn more, you can do that here.
Do you post anything not Toontown related?
Yes, but very rarely. I almost exclusively post things that are somehow related to Toontown. Typically it will be Toontown: Corporate Clash specifically, but sometimes it may be Toontown Rewritten.
Do you write anything besides headcanons?
Yes! I just don't post them on Tumblr- I post my stories to AO3 instead. You can find the link to my AO3 here.
About Me:
My name is Felix, and I use she/they/it pronouns. I'm a moderator for Toontown: Corporate Clash.
My Discord is the_felixverse.
Should I contact you on Tumblr or Discord?
If you need to reach me, my preferred method of communication is Discord. However, if you have to use Tumblr, I don't mind!
What can I contact you about?
You can literally send me a screenshot of you T-posing in Toontown for all I care. However, if you have a TTCC or TTRD moderation related concern, please seek help through the proper channels and not via my DMs.
What fandoms are you in?
Toontown {Rewritten and Corporate Clash more specifically}
Subnautica and Subnautica: Below Zero
I'm technically in more fandoms, but those are the only ones I'm currently active in. A few of my other notable interests include Bloons Tower Defense 6, House M.D., Danganronpa, Pokémon, and Five Nights at Freddy's 1-4.
How old are you?
I'm an adult.
Who's your favorite Cog?
This might be surprising to those of you who know my in-game club that I made is literally called Mouthpiece Admirers, but Cathal is my favorite. I still do stand by my club, though.
Can we meet up in-game on Clash or TTR?
Sure! Just DM me what game, when, and where you'd like to meet and I'll tell you if I can do that or not. Please list all times in that server's timezone {PST for TTR and EST for Clash} to avoid as much confusion as possible. As a general reference, I'm almost always free on weekends for gaming and tend to have restricted availability on weekdays.
How long have you been playing Toontown?
I played TTO when I was a kid, but I never had a membership because I grew up in extreme poverty. I started playing TTR in about 2018, and someone made me give Clash a try in 2020 but even after starting Barnacle Boatyard it didn't really catch on so I uninstalled it. I got bored of TTR in late 2022 and gave Clash another try, and I really liked it afterwards.
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thanks for the tag! @dream-a-little-dreaam
1. What is your AO3 account?
libra_lizard (the little dash to underscore switch for pizazz)
2. How many words did you write total in 2022?
107,220 posted ; a stark difference from the 0 last year.
3. How many fics did you publish in 2022? How many multichapters vs oneshots?
Published: 7 Multichapters: 3 Oneshots: 4
4. What was your longest fic? Your shortest fic?
Longest: Jaded Skies (45K words and counting)
Shortest: i know it well (3,1800) I’m really so proud of how short this one is bcs my mind always wants to drag things out for to at least 7k
5. What was your most popular fic? Your least popular fic?
Most popular: i owe you a black eye and 2 kisses (5k hits)
Least popular: A Beginner's Guide to Fixing a Heart You Didn't Break (568 hits) Also haven’t abandoned this fics but have to edit the two chapters I already have written first.
6. What fic didn’t perform as well as you thought it would?
Hmm, maybe I’m just a self-doubter bcs all of my fics perform better than I think they will 😂 Always posting new fics with the idea that this may be some highly specific plot that only I like so I’m always pleasantly surprised.
Guess if I have to choose I’d say A Beginner's Guide to Fixing a Heart You Didn't Break for the low hit count but she’s just a baby so I believe in her.
7. What fic performed way better than you thought it would?
Lol just choosing my least/most popular for these I guess bcs I would say i owe you a black eye and 2 kisses
It’s been MANY years since I was in high school, so I was hesitant that it would flow naturally but the response was great. Honestly got overwhelmed by the reception from chapter 1 and had to crush so many insecurities to write chapter 2.
8. What was your favorite fic you wrote from 2022?
Definitely Let’s Try This Again Maybe it’s because it’s a gift but it’s the only fic of mine I can read back and enjoy.
9. What was your favorite fic that somebody else wrote in 2022?
Nooooooo not just one. I’ll do seven for the number of fics I wrote but there are so many more.
five star sweetheart by @melo-baby Not only is this like the pinnacle of creativity and romance but it spoke to a special little place in my heart.
Prairie Doll by @sunshinebunnie Was late to this one but was such a fan of all their other works that I knew I’d love it…now i’m just obsessed.
scenes on a couch;or, the best orange juice in southern california by @actnatural-ly In a shock to no one. Will forever be amazed at the way is held my heart for all 1,451 words.
to bring you home by @stannisfactions I talk about it enough but this really is such a fantastic work. The Fezhotel is a national landmark and I’m chaining myself to the doors if it’s ever in threat of being torn down.
God’s lonely man by @fiera-di-scarborough Could really pick like three different ones from Giorgia bcs I’m never done with a fic of hers without at least 3 favorite lines that made my heart stop, but what Lexi makes for Fez in this fic is just 🥺
Taste by @myfemininedivine Devoured it all in one night because I couldn’t stop reading. This one…this one leaves me breathless and the angst hits so good.
Hollywood and Vine by @fantasydee The characterization in this one is just off the charts insanely good.
It’s also the fic i also credit with getting me writing fanfic because I made a tumblr to follow for updates then started following others then was like fuck it let me write this weird kidnapping fic that I’ve mapped out in my head and have been praying for someone else to write
10. Tag your friends to do this year-end fic review as well!
@fiera-di-scarborough @macadeliks @sunshinebunnie
HUGE thanks to all Fexi writers for bringing me out of dark spots many many times in 2022. You are all so kind and special and hope to highlight many more works with more fic collages in 2023!
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Planning #26 - Uhm 3: The End of Uhms
Here we are.
Sorry about the extreme delay. While I understand not many people are following me on tumblr and most people interested in my stories simply follow/subscribed to my stories on FFnet and AO3, I think that a more elaborate post describing what's going on right now should serve as a nice point of reference if you happen to see or check this blog at some point.
I have the usual attempt at explaining myself below the ‘keep reading’ line - but before that I'd like to show some actual plans first.
Priorities have shifted only a little bit for my WIPs. My plan is to resume posting new chapters with this order from higher priority to lowest:
The Butterfly Bane (SVTFOE)
Time Woes with a Pinch of Frogs (Amphibia + AHIT)
Pacifica over Yonder (GF + WOY) - hiatus
The Powerpuff Legacy (PPG OG) - hiatus
While only 'The Butterfly Bane' will likely receive new updates with some semblance of consistency in timing, resuming updates is something I would like to do for all of the stories above, including those on hiatus, and as soon as possible.
I may also churn out a one-shot or two. I have multiple ideas in the oven on that front and I don't want to mention them too much since some may never see the light of day. For now, just keep in mind that the stories I mentioned in previous posts -- the crossover 'Role Models', as well as the next story in the Tales of the Queens of Mewni series, 'By Your Side' -- are still planned to be posted at some point.
Now, about the lack of updates for more than a year from me, you can check below for more info if you care about that.
Long story short, a lot has changed in my life lately in the last 13 months and I lost all traces of writing bunnies or even just willingness to sit down in front of a word processor as a result - indeed, it’s been a year or so since my last update to any of my stories, and a few of my stories or series haven’t gotten updates for much longer than that. The little I managed to write didn’t satisfy me, either, which led me to thrash two one-shots while I was writing them (for new fandoms) and some content for my WIP multi-chapter fics.
Now, I am not saying that this situation has improved: it's still very hard to find the time to sit down and write, and to keep my focus while I do it, due to my current IRL occupation and other problems. However, I will still say (stubbornly if you will) that there's no way I'm leaving my stories unfinished, no matter what. All of them (and I’m counting the SvtFoE one-shot series in it too, despite its nature as a collection of partially self-contained works) will be finished, sooner or later, even if it takes one little step every odd month to do so. And, even in this new situation, I would like to keep writing fanfiction for quite a while.
So, with all that said: for the time being I just hope that I’ll recover most of the writing juice back. With it, I'll try to resume updating my unfinished works and posting new ones over time, and if that proves too hard, then I'll try to keep writing little bit by little, bit by bit, to keep my projects moving forward one small step at a time. It likely will take a while, but I'll try not to stop!
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Final Recap!
Welcome, everyone, to the final recap of Ninbingo Round Two! It’s been awesome having you all this year, and I hope you’ve all had a good time :D
There may or may not be another ninbingo next year; I’m planning on maybe hosting a different event in the first half and so I might be event-ed out :D However, if you enjoyed (or not! all feedback is good feedback!) would you consider dropping your thoughts either in the askbox or this form? It would really be appreciated.
Our bingo achievers for this round were @21st-century-ninja @ace-of-spaces @emisnt2; you can view all their works (and everyone else’s) here! Super epic congrats to everyone, but them specifically for their dedication!
Lastly, if there’s any late straggler submissions over the weekend, then just tag me in them and I’ll update this post :D Thank you again, everybody, and have a great rest of the year!
Art (low res, click the link to go to the original post):
Change and fate by @sebilini
cw: blood
“DAD!”
Lloyd, the Green Ninja.
Lloyd, the one chosen by Fate.
Lloyd, the one who has to see his beloved father undergo a painful, tragic transformation.
His father is being possessed by the Overlord.
His father is in pain, in agony, he is screaming in anguish.
And Lloyd, the Green Ninja, is destined to defeat this father of his.
It hurts. His stomach feels sick, he wants to run to his dad and hug him, tell him it’s okay, that he’s there for him. But he can’t.
It’s Lloyd destiny to defeat his dad. Perhaps it means killing him.
Tears are streaming both of their faces.
Ghost and regret by @/sebilini
cw: death
In a dark cave Morro, the master of wind, has died. He looks down on his dead body and feels nauseating, burning, choking regret. He could have had family. He could have been loved. His regret turns into anger and hatred. He will have revenge on those who caused this.
Rough-housing by @kaiyc-arts
so basically Kai and Lloyd consistently fight over snickerdoodles (its a sibling thing)
Small and never by @ninjago4life
Fic:
_IN_A_O_ by @ninjago-happens-here. tumblr || ao3 || prompt: games
Ninjago
Singapore
Awfully similar names, wouldn't you agree?
This is a slice of life fic set in a less American Ninjago, where walmarts and targets are instead fair price and cold storage.
"don't age just yet" "I'm not!" by @master-of-fluff. tumblr || ao3 || prompts: secret and smile
The ninja throw Lloyd a surprise birthday ft. Waffles, a scavenger hunt, and siblings being siblings
got a crown on my head by @21st-century-ninja. tumblr || ao3 || prompt: hugs
The ritual was to bring back the evil part of his father, the oni part, and so Harumi drew on the darkness that lay latent in his bloodline and dragged it into the open.
Lloyd grips the edge of the bathroom counter, trying to calm his heartbeat. The ritual is over. They stopped the ritual in time, and Harumi’s being carted off to prison, and the ritual is over so why haven’t the horns gone away?
or:
Lloyd looks like a monster. At one point, Cole did too.
Reference Letters by @/21st-century-ninja. tumblr || ao3 || prompts: reveal and confrontation
Kai thinks about what Lloyd said at the beginning of their conversation. How many people have pretended to be this kid’s friend, only to stab him in the back? He doesn’t have anyone.
And, well, Kai happens to have a friend group dedicated to hating Garmadon anyway, so there’s only one natural conclusion to be drawn here.
Lloyd needs to join the Secret Ninja team.
or:
tasked by Green to find new recruits for the team, Kai finds his eye drawn back over and over again to one particular person. Now if only Green would get over whatever issue he has with Lloyd Garmadon joining.
The Act of Giving by @unknownuncut. tumblr || ao3 || prompt: hugs
Jay really needs to think before he acts.
The Candlestick and the Electric Bat by @frozensoapbubble. tumblr || ao3 || prompt: laughter
Kai and Jay are fooling around with their newly discovered elemental powers: a pre-season 1 ficlet.
What It Means To Come Home by @/unknownuncut. tumblr || ao3 || prompt: bonds
Just like Alice, Zane falls down the rabbit hole.
@weekend-whip @k1ngtok1 @crappy-coffee @morro-owo @grollow @master-of-cosmos @the9thghost @roantheboat @art-i-sticks @viioletpixels @miserable-flamango @ninjas-that-go @the9thghost @thepenguisalive7 @marsipain @destinymanticor @redefine-your-identity @obsessedbee @legonerd @pangolinsandnewts17 @apprentice-s @vampireautism @the-inky-isles @highfiveu-withaknife @peachyninjago @applecranberryjuice @abunnsburrow @mitzle @ice-emperor-zane @strangermask @curious-corvius @kumamoo-hq @demigod-of-the-agni @kaiyc-arts @noisyrex
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