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getyourdirtyhandsoffme · 3 months

Note

Hi :) If you don't mind, could you do a SKZ Han fic about Han finding out male reader is transgender (ftm). Ofc I understand if you can't, but I really appreciate it!

‎ AUTHOR: I'm so happy, this is my first request and of course I don't mind making transgender stories, as I am a TransMan myself, I would love to do this! Thank you for requesting and I hope this story is in your expectations along with joy!

"MISUNDERSTANDING."

GENDER: FTM READER

SCENARIO: Idol Han + College Student Reader

GENRE(S): Comedy, fluff, A bit angst, Hurt/Comfort, Happy Ending

DYSPHORIA WARNING(S): Dead name mentioned a few times, dysphoria, feminine words/terms, and Mention the word "Pretty girl"

OTHER WARNING(S): Misunderstanding, mentions of 'Cheating' (in a more misunderstanding), Reader going throughout a breakdown and anxiety along with Jisung, mentions of crying, argument. Mentions of the words like "Cut" but not in $ucidal way. Scissors. Shouting and swearing.

Please like, comment or/and reblog! Thank you!

(I didn't really proof read or ask grammarly to fix my grammar so we just have to hope for the best!)

You hate it.

You hate the way you look.

You stared at yourself in the mirror, grabbing a fist of your long hair, you hated how it made you look too feminine.

You wanted to cut it but you fear how he would react to it.

You let go of your hair as you just tied into a bun, making it at least look like you have short hair.

You didn't want to keep it a secret to him, you loved him. He always made you laugh and always supported your careers. You even know he supported the community however, you knew he was straight.

So, you stay hidden as a 'woman' for 9 months just for him.

You were scared to lose him.

You were so lost in thought you almost didn't hear the name calling and knocking from the bathroom door.

"(Dead name)! Are you alright? You are taking so long, the popcorn is about to get cold."

(Dead name). You don't go by that name anymore, you never wanted to have that name in the first place.

Your eyes stared at the bathroom door, sighing as you walked to the door, unlocking it. You were face to face with your boyfriend, Jisung.

"Hey, baby." You responded kinda dry, trying your best to smile at him.

He looked at you, up and down, worried.

"Are you alright?"

All you can do is nod as you walk to the living room, sitting yourself down on the couch—ignoring the stares from your boyfriend.

Lost in thought, ignoring the feeling of your boyfriend next to you.

Ignoring the movie playing, it's all static to you.

Ignoring the popcorn that was placed next to you.

You ignored everything but your own thoughts.

You hated it.

These days, you have been secretly buying more men's products, hiding them underneath the clothes in your cabinet.

You brought cologne, men's clothing, boxers, shoes, everything that could help you to become what you always wanted to be.

It felt horrible keeping this a secret, hiding it from him but you were scared.

So scared.

You even secretly brought a binder as well but only wear it when you are going out by yourself or your friends who knew about you are a TransMan.

All of this fear is going on, you didn't notice how your relationship with Jisung was slacking off.

Almost like you became quite distant with him.

Lack of trust, more of fear and dysphoria.

Of course, you two still hang out from time to time, well, when he is free. Even trying to text and call more since he is a kpop idol but it felt less and dry.

Jisung was scared as well, but in the fear of losing you.

He didn't know what he did wrong as he tries his best to think of what mistakes he has made.

He kept on overthinking to the point it triggered his anxiety a few times, he had fears of you cheating on him.

He didn't want to think that but those thoughts kept on filling his brain that you were with someone else this whole time. Maybe someone better than him.

He couldn't shake this feeling off as he quickly left the studio and walked to the apartment.

Every step he takes, he fears he might see you lay next to a different man or anybody. Fears of you kissing that person along with talking bad about him behind his back.

He almost felt himself starting to cry as he walked to the apartment.

When he makes it, he walks upstairs to the second floor, going to the room number of his lover while grabbing the keys that you gave him when you both thought about sharing apartments together in their 4 months dating together.

He stands in front of the door, debating if he should barge in or knock to let them know that he is here.

His hands were shaking yet he chose to just barge in.

He quickly unlocks the front door of their shared apartment, quickly shutting behind him as he looks around.

Nothing seems suspicious besides a few photos of you and him together gone from the walls.

He frowned from that as he thinks more of the relationship between the two of you. It was either breaking up or cheating.

He shakes his head as he walks to your, or their bedroom.

He opens it to find a messy room.

A few frames that used to be framed in the living room walls, empty along with the photos of both of you together piled on top of each other on the floor.

He even noticed a few pieces of clothing that almost looked like it came out of the men's section along with shoes.

He walks around some more, looking around for any more suspicion until he finally faces the cabinets that he didn't open yet.

He opens the cabinets and looks carefully, grabbing out clothes like boxers, cologne that wasn't clearly his and a few more men's clothing. Maybe even more.

He grips the boxers.

He wanted to cry so hard but all he could think was you.

You are cheating...(?)

You walked inside the apartment, locking the door behind you.

You just got home from the library, studying for an upcoming exam happening next week.

You sighed, all you wanted to do was take a quick shower and sleep, which is exactly what you were about to do.

You change your shoes into your slippers as you speed walk to your bedroom until you stop.

You noticed your bedroom door slightly open.

You stood there, contemplating if you should run out and grab a weapon or gaslight yourself by thinking that you somehow forgot to close your door fully.

You thought the best idea was to grab a weapon, so as you turned around to do so, you heard crying.

Jisung?

You quickly opened the door, face to face with Jisung gripping your boxers, shaking.

You were shocked, feeling yourself shaken with fear.

"Wh-what are you doing here, Jiji?"

You questioned him as you slowly walked up to him, about to give him a hug until he pushed you away softly.

"Don't touch me. I knew it all along..."

What? He knew?

"What? What do you mean?" You eyes wide as you step away from him, almost like you wanted to run away from this situation.

"The photo frames, how distant you were, and now these." Jisung throws the boxers to the ground and then points at your cabinet. "I should've known! Fuck you! Why?" He shouted at you, glaring at you.

"You went through my stuff!?" You shouted back, feeling more taken back.

"Of course I did! I was worried! You felt so distant that I had a feeling you were hiding something from me and I was correct, you were hiding that something!"

You started to cry, you didn't want him to find out. Not like this.

"Please, Jisung, let's talk about this. I didn't know you were going to react like that..."

"What? You didn't know I was going to react like this? Everyone would react like this in this situation! What happened to us? What did I do wrong?" He shouts as he paces back and forward while continuing on with his words.

"I treated you kindly, I gave you love and this is what you do? You were supposed to be my girlfriend, (Dead name)! What the fuck is wrong with you!"

You shook your head as you continued on crying, even Jisung tears kept falling but his anger was rising higher from you weeping.

"Jisung, please! I can still be your girlfriend, I'm sorry! It will be over soon I promise, just give me time..."

"Soon? Soon. Are you serious? How the hell are you supposed to be my fuckin girlfriend when you can't get over that person, you damn cheater!"

Just by that, you stopped crying as you quickly looked at him, confused.

"Huh?" That's all you can say as you wipe your tears from your face.

"Don't 'Huh' me, you're literally cheating on me with someone else!"

So, this is all a misunderstanding.

You thought he knew he was trans but he actually thought you were cheating. Now you have to come out to him either way to make him stop thinking that you are cheating on him when you are actually not.

"No, I'm not. You got it all wrong..."

"Huh? But what about this!" He points to the boxers.

"Those are..." You bite your lip as you try to calm your anxiety down. You didn't want to lose him over a misunderstanding. You didn't really think you were going to be in this situation in the first place.

"Those..are mine."

Jisung stops placing around as he stares at you, his eyes bloodshot red from crying hard.

"Huh?"

"Jisung, this is not how I wanted you to find out but I didn't think you thought it THAT way. I would never cheat on you. You are literally the best boyfriend I ever have..."

You step closer to him, your eyes getting filled with more tears.

"But, you are correct about me hiding something from you and being distant. I was being a bit selfish and selfless as well. I was scared so I wanted to protect myself by distancing myself from you but even protecting our relationship from pretending to be something I'm not..."

Jisung stays quiet as he continues listening.

"I'm not...I'm not your girlfriend anymore."

"So, you are breaking up with me?"

You shook your head quickly.

"NO! Maybe I shouldn't worded it like that. I mean as in..." You sighed as you grip your arms.

"I'm not a girl, Jisung. I'm transman. I've actually been for a while until I met you. You thought I was a pretty girl and wanted to date me so I pretended to be a girl just for you. You treated me with so much care that I ignored my dysphoria, I ignored everything for you but I can't. It hurts so much to be something that I'm not..."

Jisung stood there now in shock, as he started to feel bad along with the times he called you feminine terms.

"How come you never told me this earlier...?"

You shrugged, looking down while chuckling a bit.

"I mean, how am I supposed to react to a cute guy going up to me and all of sudden calling me pretty and asking me out on a date?" You joked a bit but Jisung didn't really find it funny as he continues on feeling bad.

"You were afraid I wouldn't accept you for who you are?"

You nodded.

"Do you not trust me when I say that I love you no matter what every time I see you?"

Those words broke you. Of course you trusted him but at the same time you weren't sure.

"But, aren't you straight?"

"Not anymore..." Jisung grabs your hands. "Do I have to say it again so my own boyfriend can trust me more? I love you no matter what. I love you so much. I really do wish you told me this way earlier, all these times I hurt you and triggered your dysphoria..."

You smiled as you looked up at him who was smiling back at you.

"Boyfriend...?" You slowly said, feeling yourself smiling even wider.

"Yes, my cute boyfriend! I'm so sorry! I can't believe we almost broke up—well I almost broke up with you! Please don't do that again, my anxiety was rising too high!"

You nodded as he gave you a bunch of kisses onto your face.

"Please trust me, I love you too much to leave you."

"Of course, I'm sorry for not telling you this way earlier. I'll become more and more trustful with you and not keep anymore secrets, I'm so sorry! I love you so much!"

You both smile, holding into each other's embrace.

"Oh yeah, Jiji, since you are here. Help me clean."

Jisung groans jokingly but nods anyways as you both clean your mess.

A few months later...

"So, are you sure you want a hair cut?"

You nodded several times.

"Yes, I promise you I won't regret it like the last time." You laughed as you looked at yourself in the mirror.

"Yeah, because last time when you asked for short hair, the hair stylist accidentally, somehow, gave you a pixie cut. There isn't anything wrong with any pixie cuts but really?" Jisung commented as he wraps the towel in front of your upper body.

"Well, that's why we are doing it in our bathroom. Free and you can do my hair correctly."

"I'm an idol not a hair salonist—you might just go bald at this point."

You rolled your eyes, laughing.

"If you do make me bald, I won't hesitate to sue you."

"Yeah yeah, let me give you a nice short hair cut. You want a fade too?" He questions, grabbing a pair of scissors and a ruler (?).

"Do you even know how to do a fade...?"

"You want to find out?"

"Hell no, just give me this hair cut, good sir." You showed a picture to him.

"Of course, my prince! Anything for you! I'll make you look fabulous with this hairstyle~"

"I hope..." You side eyes him.

"Just trust me."

You rolled your eyes but nodded anyways.

You felt happy.

You didn't ignore anything around you.

You felt loved for the way you are.

"Fuck, I think I messed up, (Preferred Name)!"

"WHAT?!"

I hope this was perfect enough for you, I tried to make it more uhh whatever I was thinking about! Hope you enjoy!

Ngl, it felt like I didn't know wtf I was typing even though I planned it out a bit.

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sssuuri · 8 months

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Thank you so much for your PR insight!! I’m completely clueless and naive, so looking behind the scenes of PR does help me a lot to cope with all of this🫶🏼. I’m curious about the following, maybe you don’t mind answering what your thoughts are: what was the trigger to go “all in“ right now? I mean the pressure must have been gigantic ever since April, but he managed to get away with the bare minimum for a long long time… I’m 🤷🏻‍♀️🤔. Was it the Vogue article, was it the Dune 2 delay, something else? Thank you 😊

Hi dear Nonny!

Sorry for my late answer. We can't know the true reason, we can only suggest theories. In my opinion, there are two interested parties in this deal: the studio and the family. The studio thinks KJ will bring her followers to movie theaters and they'll have higher revenues (big studios are cynical and actors are only money making machines for them). The family, who loves hype and attention, that flatters them, was expecting to get it. The start of pr campaign was "private casual low-key", but too many people were suspicious and doubtful. So, seeing such feedback, the campaign changed the scenario into "here are all the proofs". As much as it makes me sad, I'm afraid it won't end soon. But I don't think it will last too long either. At some point the public will start to get used and to get bored. They already played a pregnancy scenario, they may play something more to heat the rumours. But it works up to a certain time. So, I secretly hope the fame greedy family will lose interest in this campaign when the public does. But of course, that's only my thoughts and only time will show.

Thank you for your ask 🙌🙌

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avissapiens · 3 years

Text

Avis' Subject Symposium

A Crash Course in Trance Pt 1: Files.

(Art by Acro @sodalite96/https://twitter.com/sodalite96 Used with their permission. Go check them out!)

So often new subjects come to me and they don’t know the first thing about trance. None of its mechanics or methods, and so it can be very daunting for them; to step into such a wide abyss without knowing what to expect and what is expected of you. Many of them, even experienced subjects, expect that 100% of the work is and should be done by the Hypnotist. In truth both parties, the hypnotist and the subject, must be willing and able. But while it’s more readily apparent what must be done in order for a tist to be successful in their endeavors, many subjects/potential subjects can have a hard time understanding what it takes to get the most out of their trance, both from pre-recorded files, and from live sessions with a hypnotist. So, I’m here to give you what is in my opinion, the essential Crash Course to Trance, starting first with trancing to files.

Location

Find yourself somewhere nice, darkened and quiet, where you know you won’t be disturbed. This is already a hard task for a lot of subjects, living with other people always increases the chance that one might barge in on you, eyes glazed over, drooling all over yourself. Or that someone’s reckless pounding from above might shake the abyss so thoroughly that it takes you out of trance. But here is the thing I will stress. While physical quiet is a good idea as it allows you to focus on the words and suggestions streaming into your head. What matters so much more is internal peace and quiet. A location where you can feel at ease and safe and secure in yourself. A locked bedroom surrounded by mountains of pillows. Your favorite plush armchair that threatens to swallow you almost as well as the Abyss of Trance. The peaceful morning route on the train whose path you know so well that you can be lulled into trance just by the rumbling vibrations of the tracks beneath your seat. Wherever you can be comfortable.

The ideal location for trance I'm sure does exist in some government facility or therapists office somewhere, where you can be dropped into an isolation tank and be brainwashed clean. But most of us will never encounter that. So what matters then is the ideal mindset for trance, which is one of peace, safety, trust and assurance.

Equipment

This is one of the reasons so many love using files. Because its barrier to entry is so low. All you really need is something to play the file on and a place to listen. This is in contrast to working directly with a tist where you need, at the very least, A good internet connection, maybe a camera, Another person who you trust and who might be wildly inconsistent. Or working in person which probably will require a whole location and time-table to get set up. No, Files are relatively simple and they are no better or worse than live sessions for certain purposes. However, like all simple things, they can be elevated by improving its ingredients. A box cake from the store and a home-made chiffon are functionally the same, but their difference comes in the ingredients and technique.

So for trance I recommend spoiling yourself a little, at the very least buy yourself some decent quality over-ear headphones. Many file-makers (myself included) add frequencies and binaural beats underneath the main track. These serve the purpose of training your own brain’s waveforms to a certain frequency, thus more easily taking you into trance. But they can only be detected and properly registered with some good headphones. Additionally, The encapsulation of headphones provides a more immersive experience, isolating you and transporting you through the trance experience like you are in your own little world. Trust me. $600 studio headphones aren’t needed, But a good quality wired $40 headset goes a long way and is multi-purpose. A decent quality chair or mattress also will serve you well, not just in trance but in life.

Focus

Trance is a very tricky state that, like all things, requires practice and patience to master. Staying in trance is like a tightrope walk, teetering gently between the realm of consciousness and awareness, and the oblivion of total subconscious and sleep. It is the liminal space between the two, that subconscious space that makes trance and hypnosis possible. It is the state where your mind is most open to total suggestion and where magical things can happen. So how does one walk the line between these two modes of being? The answer is focus. Or rather Half-focus. Focusing without focusing. With descriptions like that it can sound like some kind of Zen riddle, but that is often what it feels like sometimes. Now this is not a laser focus like you would expect in a classroom setting, no one is being tested here. It's a more gentle and subtle focus. Like focusing on the world around you. Focusing on the wind on your face, the rise and fall of your lungs; On the way your body just goes loose and slumps over. The trick is to go in and to follow along, to listen and pay attention and try to comply with the suggestions given at first. Suspend your disbelief and engage with it unironically and without pretense. If you notice yourself drifting, don’t try to force it back to focus. Simply let it explore where it wants and to carry on organically. Nothing in trance needs to be forced. Simply focused on and allowed to happen.

Many subs oscillate in trance, their minds ebbing and flowing like a Sine wave; wavering in and out of trance, one minute aware, the next minute completely blank and asleep, and then for a brief moment in bliss. But it averages out to trance at the end of it. One must also not fear dropping out of trance. Focusing too much on that eventuality makes it a self fulfilling prophecy. Just Focus-not-focus-half-focus and enjoy yourself.

Apprehension

So many subjects look at files and their mind begins to spin with endless questions and anxieties. Worries about “losing themselves” or “changing too much” or “doing things they don’t want to do.” It’s a valid set of concerns for a new subject, uninitiated in the true mechanics of trance and only knowing of hypnosis what is shown in the media. Evil villains and monsters brainwashing our heroes to do horribly enticing and arousing things. So ingrained is this idea that it even crossed over into the allure of hypnosis files. And while I won’t say it's impossible for that to happen, I have 3 comments on it to ease your mind. First, with Files, one of the best things about it is that the subject gets to control practically every single aspect of the experience. When you do it, how many times you listen, and whether you listen at all to begin with. While all files should be clearly labelled with Content and trigger warnings and given an explicit summary of what they are and what they do, we know that is not the case. The amount of “Mystery files” I've seen on various forums irks me to no end. But it appeals to some people. However, for those who are not particularly fond of surprises you have the absolute power to review the file before you trance to it. You can give it a fully aware walk through, or just jump through segments to look for anything that doesn’t suit your taste.

Once you’ve done that however you might still be conflicted about some content. Not openly averse to it, but unsure. Dumbing down and IQ reduction are probably number one on this list. People are so terrified of somehow losing everything when they learn to stop overthinking things. For these concerns my second point suggests Introspection. Ask yourself “Why do I/Don’t I want this?” “Is it really as bad as my anxiety is making it out to be?” Because if you like something a lot, and really want it, then why should you deny yourself it out of fear? Even aside from dumbing, many desires are tinged with this air of guilt or fear. Terrified to acknowledge or grab hold of what we truly want and own up to it. In my estimation Hypnosis can be one of the best ways of dabbling with those desires because in trance there is no shame or judgement. Finally, my 3rd point says you don’t have to worry. If you really don’t like a suggestion you can always leave it behind. Your mind has built in fail-safes to reject suggestions you haven’t agreed to. A file cannot make you do something unless you want it, at least subconsciously. The old cliche goes “All Hypnosis is Self-Hypnosis” and what that fundamentally means is that as a subject you are the one who decides what happens. You consent and go along with things and allow them to happen to you. It is your desire, your focus, your arousal and your own subconscious that allows hypnosis to work. Subjects have more power than they know. I really hope it assists some people in vibing better with trance and files. I’ll be putting out another version for Live hypnotists later this month.

Thanks again to Acro for letting me use their Art, definitely go and support them on twitter. And If you want to support the creation of more hypnotic experiences that might help you practice that balance of focus then you can do so by subscribing to my Patreon, or to my Youtube channel. And if you want to interact more closely with me and my supportive community you can join my Discord server.

#Hypnosis #trance #gay hypnosis #brainwashing #caption #hypnotized #hypnokink

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let-them-read-fics · 3 years

Text

Blackpink Reaction To Their S/O Struggling W/ Drug Addiction

Warnings / Misc. -- ⚠️ Sensitive Topic ⚠️, Hurt/Comfort, Fluff

A/N: Hey everyone! This request covers a sensitive topic that I haven't been personally exposed to, but I hope that I do it justice. I did my best to handle it with care and be as realistic as possible. Let me know what you think!

PS -- I didn't specifically name any substances or describe them in too much detail; I wanted to leave you room to picture whatever you had in mind, especially if you happen to be struggling irl.

👩 Also, I wrote this as Fem!Reader because nothing was specified. I hope that's alright, anon! Thank you for your patience :)

♡ Happy Reading ♡

🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤

Jisoo

Discovered it after a few weeks of dating

She's amazing at reading people, so she had sensed that you were struggling with something; she just didn't know what.

She wanted to wait for you to tell her about whatever it was, but one fateful day she witnessed something that explained it all.

It wasn't meant to happen; she wasn't meant to see you like this. But, as fate would have it, Jisoo stumbled across something she never saw coming.

Her footsteps grow louder as she walks her way through the house, peeking her head into various rooms in search of you. The two of you invited some of your mutual friends over, and they've all been curious as to where you slipped away to earlier.

"Baby, are you in here? Everyone's wonder--"

The sound of the latch clicking out of place makes your heart drop and sets you into motion. Before you have enough time to fully react, though, Jisoo opens the bathroom door to find you sitting on the ground, attempting to shove a foreign substance into a plastic baggy.

Your hands make quick work of moving it out of view and sitting up on your knees, but she picks up on what's going on. Her eyes land on the material as you shift it behind your body, looking up at her with wide eyes.

"Jisoo--" Tears are already beginning to work their way into your eyes, slightly blurring your vision. Too many people have walked out on you after witnessing this, and the thought that she might go too is overwhelming.

She keeps her tone level as she steps into the room and quietly shuts the door behind herself. "Y/N, please explain yourself."

"I-I'm sorry Jisoo, I should've told you sooner." You shakily say, bringing a hand up to swipe away the few tears that've already leaked out. It's not usually like you to get so emotional so quickly, but seeing the pained look on her face is reason enough.

"Come here," she utters, plopping down next to you and pulling you up against her body as she leans back on the side of the tub. Her fingers rub soothing circles on your back while you rest your head on her shoulder, lightly dampening the material of her shirt with your tears. "I'm not mad at you for this, but I need you to tell me about it. I want to help you, my love. I can't watch you hurt yourself like this."

"Okay. Just promise you won't go," you softly say, the syllables of your words breaking here and there from the raw emotion you feel.

"I'm not going anywhere, Y/N." She presses a light kiss to your temple for reassurance, and her heart breaks when she feels your hands grip at her clothes out of habit. How many times have people told you that and still left you in your time of need? She cradles you in her arms, realizing just how fragile you are in your current state, and tells you to take your time.

With a steadying breath, you begin to explain your struggles.

Road To Recovery

Constant check-ins

"Hey honey, we're at the studio now. Are you taking care of yourself for me?"

Helps you deal with the symptoms of withdrawal when they hit

Focuses on distraction and redirection as ways to help you cope

If you're at a party and feel tempted after seeing someone use, she leads you away to distract you from the urge

Helps you find safe alternatives

Celebrates the little victories

"Yes, Y/N, 4 and a half weeks clean is plenty reason to celebrate. Now mark it on the calendar and get over here so I can put this hat on you."

Playdates at your local dog café to keep your mind occupied (and bringing Dalgomie so he can make new friends, of course)

Takes you indoor skydiving. She wanted to find a way to give you an adrenaline rush while still being able to participate with you, so that was a happy medium. She battled her fear of heights to do that with you.

Not letting you lose hope if you relapse

"You're not a burden, and I'm not letting you give up on yourself. Not after all the progress you've made. I believe in you."

Accompanying you to rehab and recovery meetings, if you want her to

Bringing you your favorite snacks and candies when she picks you up

"I got you a little something," she smiles, leaning over the center console of the car to kiss your cheek. "You deserve a treat, baby."

Whenever you decide to tell everyone about your struggles and recovery journey, she's right next to you for support

Spends all the time she can with you

Early on, she would get really worried when you missed her calls or took a while to respond, but eventually she got over her fears to some degree

Still checks up on you when she's away for work

"Sorry for missing your call, Chu. Dalgom tried to kill me when I was giving him a bath and I couldn't get to the phone in time."

Overall, just a very proud girlfriend who sticks by you no matter what

After You've Recovered

Annual "recovery party" to commemorate your sobriety

Sometimes you invite the girls and your other friends, and sometimes you prefer to just spend the day at home with Jisoo

"Look at how far you've come, my love. I'm so proud of you."

♡♡♡♡♡

Jennie

She would be the only one who figured it out on her own. She picked up on the signs fairly quickly and always subtly helped steer you away from any potentially tempting situations

If you two watched a movie that happened to have a triggering scene in it, she always noticed how you'd look away and subconsciously tense up a bit

"Hey, babe. This movie's kinda boring; why don't we watch that new Netflix documentary instead?"

If the two of you were invited to parties that were likely to have a bunch of alcohol and drugs, sometimes she'd try to suggest staying in or doing something else instead

You eventually caught on to her diversion attempts, and sat down with her to have a talk.

"How long have you known?" You ask, pulling your legs up towards your chest as you sit back against the headboard of your California King.

"A few weeks," she starts, running a brush through her hair until it's untangled. Her damp locks stick to her shoulders as she approaches you, some strips slightly drier than others. "Were you ever gonna tell me?" She inquires softly, facing you as she sits down beside you on the bed.

"Of course, Jen. I'm sorry that I didn't tell you sooner, I just… I was on my own with it before you. I didn't have anyone to turn to because everyone left once they found out." Your confession makes her chest ache -- it's a physical, honest pain that she feels as she imagines you battling such an unforgiving foe with no one in your corner. She places a warm hand on your thigh to comfort you, knowing just how much her touch helps when you're upset. "Hey, it's okay. There's no point in worrying about that now. I know it's hard to open up, babe, so thank you for doing this. I'm here to listen, alright?"

"Thank you, Jennie. I don't know what I'd do without you."

"You'll never have to know, either, because I'm staying right here."

"I love you," you whisper, leaning forward to press a kiss to her lips.

"I love you, too," she sighs against you, preparing herself for the emotional night you're about to have. For now, she takes a moment to just pull you into her arms and rest her forehead against yours, finding comfort in your steady heartbeat.

"We'll start whenever you're ready."

Road To Recovery

Makes various arrangements to ensure that the media won't know of your struggles

Keeps things on lock, especially if you decide to remain private on the matter and not tell the world

If you make a public statement about it, she still does everything she can to keep you protected from the negativity. She knows first hand how tough it can be to deal with, so she never lets you face it alone

You both help each other work through things

"You're my rock, Y/N/N."

"And you're my world, Jen."

Takes care of you during bouts of withdrawal

Sings to you to calm you down and help you relax

Takes you to theme parks and rides all the big coasters with you so you can get a similar high that you did from the drugs. She gets to be clingy with you and spend the day having fun, so she doesn't mind it, and you enjoy it just the same.

Suggests fun activities for you to do together

"We should visit that pottery place tomorrow! I've heard a lot of good things about it."

You stick close together when you're in public, especially when paparazzi are near

Your presence helps with her anxiety, and you hold her close and tell jokes to keep her attention off of it

Random surprise celebrations waiting for you when you get home

"Hey Jen, I'm home." You announce, shrugging your coat off before hanging it up on the metal rack next to the front door.

"In here," she calls from the kitchen, effectively pulling you in with that sweet voice of hers. When you reach the doorway and peek in, a dumbstruck smile slowly parts your lips as you see the set up she constructed.

"Happy 3 Weeks" a multicolored banner reads, displaying the phrase above your dining room table where Jennie sits. "Surprise, honey," she says softly, glancing down at the cake she made for you as she scoots it closer. You approach the table and examine it, practically feeling your heart grow 10 sizes from the love you hold for your girlfriend.

"Is this why you left practice early?"

"Mhm," she nods, kissing your cheek before she reaches into a small gift bag next to her chair. "I'm so proud of you," she grins, sliding a thin, glittery headband into your hair. It has two springs attached to the top that bounce in every direction possible, surely making you look like a dork.

"God, I love you."

"You'd better keep that same energy after trying the cake. I think I might've added too much baking soda…"

You shake your head and pull her in, pressing kiss after kiss to her lips until she's grinning just as hard as you.

Going on adventures with Kuma and Kai

Especially to dog parks and other national parks

Helps you fill things out for rehab and doesn't let you get too stressed about it

Helps you regain confidence in yourself if you relapse

"This isn't the end, Y/N. You're strong, I know you can beat this."

Is right next to you through it all

After You've Recovered

Go on an annual vacation to get away from everything and celebrate your sobriety. You take the opportunity to escape the media and reconnect with each other

"Where to this year, Y/N? Bora Bora, maybe?"

Intimate celebration between the two of you on vacation, and then the girls throw you a party when you come back

♡♡♡♡♡

Rosé

You were really good at hiding your secret from people -- especially those that you care about most. You're always afraid that once they find out, they'll pack up and leave.

Rosé was one of the first to actually stay

She had been fairly oblivious to your struggles since you masked that side of yourself well, but one day the two of you attended a little get-together at your old friend's house, and your dirty laundry was aired.

"Bro, come on, let's play Truth or Dare!" One of your old friends says, perking up at the fact that he remembered the game even existed. He's already a little tipsy, but so are some of the others.

"I don't know, dude," you hesitantly start, missing the way that Rosé curiously raises a brow beside you.

"Come on, we'll keep it tame." Another person adds from the couch opposite you, their voice low. You recognize her as Cho, a sort of frenemy from your high school years. Something doesn't sit right for you with the hint of mischief that shines in her eyes, but your friends' pleas eventually push the feeling away and you relent.

"Fine, but if Austin gets dared to do some dumb shit like last time I'm dropping out."

"Like what?"

"Like what?" You ask back, disbelief evident in your voice. "Are you forgetting the fact that I had to bail you out after you got arrested for streaking down the neighborhood?"

"Okay, fair point," Austin holds his hands up in surrender. "Just a few rounds."

As everyone's once boisterous laughter finally dies down into quiet chuckles, you turn to Rosé for a quick kiss. She reciprocates and holds you there for a few more seconds, loving the way your lips feel against her own. As you brush your nose against hers and garner a sweet giggle from her, Cho interrupts the moment with a phrase that makes your blood run cold.

"So, Rosé, has Y/N told you about the time she got arrested for drug possession? Word on the street is that she still can't shake her old habit..."

Rosie feels the way you tense up at the question and pull away from her, cringing at the exposure you just received. The room goes silent, enabling a pen to be heard if it were dropped.

"Hey," Austin goes to defend you, about to yell at her for bringing up such a difficult topic.

"It's fine, Austin," you say, sticking your hand out in front of him to keep him from approaching her. The last thing you want right now is a screaming match about your struggles.

Rosie finally speaks up after what feels like an eternity, turning to Cho to say, "No, but that's none of your business. And I strongly advise that you don't speak on her name like that again." She cuts her eyes at the other girl, sending an icy glare at her to show that she's serious before giving her attention to you again.

When a few tense moments pass with no one really saying anything, Jackson, the host, speaks up. "I think you need to go, Cho."

"Ah, what a shame. The fun was just starting," she mockingly pouts, stopping next to you on her way out the door. Rosé strokes the back of your hand to soothe you, tracing mindless patterns with her thumb until your shoulders relax and you look into her eyes. With Cho now gone, your friends decide to go out into the backyard and give the two of you some time to clear things up.

"So, I guess we should talk." You start, pulling your legs up onto the couch to sit criss-cross. She studies the way that you begin to nervously fidget and drop eye contact, and the sight breaks her heart.

"Your past is your past, Y/N, and I won't ever judge you for it. I wish she wouldn't have brought it up like that -- I really wish she didn't," she says, emphasizing the word to remind you of how upset she is with Cho, "But I can tell that you're still struggling. I want to help you get better, and I'll be here with you every step of the way, babe. You mean the world to me." She smiles sadly, trying not to think of how much it would hurt to lose you.

"Okay," you breathe out, accepting the honest help that she's extending to you. You've been burned and lied to in the past, but you trust Rosé to stay true to her word and assist you on the hard journey laid out before you. "Let's start from the beginning," you say, preparing yourself to retell your struggles from the moment they began all those years ago.

Road To Recovery

Takes care of you when withdrawal hits hard

Isn't afraid to take the day off if it's bad enough and she needs to

"Hey, Teddy. Tell everyone that I'll be staying home today, okay? I've already let the girls know, too."

Reassurance to the max

"You're doing amazing."

Is your shoulder to cry on when times get tough

On a weekend trip, the two of you snuck away to the beach to go cliff diving. It was a thrilling experience, and you'll always remember that day with her

Helps you find healthier alternatives to your addiction that can make the transition easier until you fully recover

"Baby, look at this." She says, repositioning her laptop so that you can see what she's looking at. The two of you are sitting on the bed, and her legs are stretched out over yours. "These herbs are safe to smoke and they can help with a lot of your troubles. These over here," she says, pointing to a section of the screen, "help with stress and anxiety. They make it easier to relax." You nod, logging the information in your brain as you run a hand over her smooth skin to keep yourself calm. It's a habit that both of you love. "Thank you, Rosie. Nobody's ever done anything like this for me." You say, keeping your head down as you remember all the people that have left you behind in your time of need.

"You'd do the same for me, and I'm happy to be here for you." She declares, holding one of your hands within both of her own. She cradles it delicately, just like she does your heart. "I'll do whatever it takes to make you feel my love. I'm not going anywhere, babe." She leans in, connecting your lips in a sweet kiss.

Keeps your spirits up if you relapse

"You're not a failure, Y/N/N. This is just a setback, and we're going to get through it together."

One of her friends told her about a fun art class that's supposed to help people in recovery let go of some of their resentment and negative feelings, so she brought it up and you agreed to go

It was structured in two parts:

Part 1: Everyone went out to an old car lot that had various old vehicles, electronics, and other things to smash up. Once you let loose and relieved some of your tension, you collected scraps of the things you destroyed.

Part 2: With the scraps you brought back, you were told to create any type of artwork you wanted -- whatever felt right. Collage, graffiti, scrapbook, etc. At the end of the class, you were informed of the driving message behind it: Though the negative feelings and aversions you dealt with in the past may have left you feeling broken, you never really were -- you've always had the power to piece yourself back together and continue on.

After You've Recovered

Taking a month off work every year to travel and experience new things together. Usually consists of going to another city (or even country) and exploring their art museums and other artistics outlets

The new experiences help remind you off all the reasons you want to stay sober, and they help her have new material for her songs

Lots of pictures and drawings to remember all of your adventures

Collect trinkets to hang up / display, especially around the holidays

The girls have a special celebration waiting for you when you return

♡♡♡♡♡

Lisa

She could tell something was wrong when your behavior started to change over the course of a couple weeks

She suspected other things, but after finding a substance in your bag while on a vacation trip, she was blind sided by the reality of the situation

"Hey Lis, have you seen my swimsuit?" You casually ask, strolling into your hotel bedroom in search of the item. "I thought I left it--"

Your words catch harshly in your throat, nearly making you choke from how quickly you cut yourself off. She's sitting on the edge of the bed with the baggy in her hands, and tears brim in her eyes.

"Fuck," you wince, closing your eyes as you put your face in your hands. "You weren't supposed to find out like this."

"Why didn't you tell me?" She asks, staring straight ahead, though her eyes don't focus on anything in particular. Knowing you hurt her is bad enough, but seeing her like this makes the pain even more evident.

"I was going to, I promise. But I've been trying to wean myself off of it," you begin to explain, slowly walking across the room until you're in front of her. You squat down and put your hands on her thighs, staying quiet until she meets your gaze. "I've tried to quit cold turkey in the past but it didn't go down well. I figured I could handle this on my own and not get you involved."

"Baby, I want to be involved. You've been different lately, and having you shut me out didn't help ease my fears. I want to be a part of this, okay? You can turn to me when you feel alone," she says through the occasional tears that roll down her cheeks, "It's my job to help you and keep you safe. So let me," she crouches down next to you as she says the last part, wrapping her arms around you when she notices your lip tremble. "I'm not gonna let this get between us," she says against your shoulder, reminding you of how strong her love for you is.

"I'm sorry I waited so long," your words are muffled against her shirt, but she can hear how the emotion in them changes your voice slightly.

"We have to start somewhere, and this is just as good a time as any. I'm right here, Y/N/N."

Road To Recovery

Sweet texts and reminders throughout the day

"Hey baby, have you eaten today? The girls and I miss you like crazy."

"Don't forget about your check-up tomorrow. I already told my manager that I'll be taking the day off, so I'm all yours 😉"

"*image attachment* Question: Do you think Lego would look cute in this or do you think Lego would look cute in this? Because he WOULD."

Stargazing trips to talk about how far you've come

Making treats for the cats together if you have a bad day

Sometimes your withdrawal leaves you with weird cravings, but she never hesitates to race to the store at any hour and snatch up your favorite treats

Learning how to cook together to keep you occupied and give you a hobby (plus she's always wanted to get better at it)

“If you fling that at me, I swear to God I'll--”

"Oops!"

"LISA!"

Day trips to random parks and open locations to have little photoshoots when she has free days

Once took you bungee jumping for the experience and adrenaline rush

Bringing you into the studio if you're having a hard time and don't want to be alone

Always listens to you and shows how much she cares

Opts out of events if she suspects that drugs will be there to tempt you (considering you're always her plus one)

You still send her to enjoy herself at the events without you sometimes, though it does take a lot to convince her to leave you at home

"Okay, okay! But we're binging that new show when I get back."

Makes you laugh often and cheers you up when you need it most

She's your sunshine

After You've Recovered

Considering that you're her muse and she's the artist that she is, she hatched a plan early on to document your journey to recovery

"One more, babe. Just like that." She instructs, holding the camera up to her eye one final time. "Perfect."

"Alright, close your eyes and turn around." She commands while returning to the coffee table that sits in the middle of your living room. Her hands make quick work of putting the finishing touches on her gift for you while you patiently sway and hum to whatever song is stuck in your head at the moment.

"Annnnnd done!" She shouts, approaching you with a wide smile tugging at her lips as she holds the book out in front of herself. "It's a photo album. I started it the day you told me you wanted to try and get better," she says, smiling softly as she slowly walks you through the beginning pages of the book. "I thought it would be nice to see how far you've come," her eyes remain glued to the pictures she took as she continues flipping, and she fails to realize that you're staring at her now.

"I'm so in love with you. I can't thank you enough, Lis. This is beautiful." You shake your head in quiet disbelief, genuinely surprised that someone would work so hard on something for you. It shouldn't be a surprise with her though, considering how much she loves you, but it still baffles you sometimes.

"This gift only shows a fraction of my love for you, but I'm happy you like it. This is nothing, baby; there's so much more where this came from. Thank you for letting me in." She captures your lips in a meaningful kiss, and finds it hard to pull away. You seem to be her drug of choice, but neither of you care to end that sweet addiction.

Annual trips to photoshoots and fashion shows

Being her favorite model (seriously, she could look at you for hours on end)

Always feeling so loved and cherished, no matter what the two of you are doing

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cherryyharryy · 3 years

Note

another request since you love angsty full of mutual desire writing (I think correct me if I'm wrong) maybe something inspired in Want You So Bad by the Vaccines! Take it anywhere you'd like to, enemies to lovers, friends to lovers, strangers who had their reservations about each other to lovers...

This is tattoo artist harry. I hope you like it, and thank you for requesting!

I listened to the song 97842 times and my brain kept going to this place.

WC: 2k

Trigger Warning: Food

*******

The sky glows orange, like unripe tomatoes as evening creeps over the Hollywood hills. Summer is dry and bitter, crawling deep into August, slipping around each customer that strolls into the shop until the door has to be propped open; cicadas and traffic mixing as well as oil and water.

Harry finishes cleaning up his station with little thought. On autopilot, he’s soon settling down on his stool and frowning at a smudge of ink that made it to his wrist. He twists his hand to examine the stain, smeared across the bone and trailing down the prominent vein like peach juice after he’s squeezed the fruit a little too hard.

“Do you have an appointment?” Mitch’s voice is low, fitting in with the lazy atmosphere most Tuesday evenings bring as he handles the newest customer. Harry pays little mind to the conversation until Mitch asks for the name.

“Y/n.”

His heart stutters out of rhythm and his ears sizzle. Timidly, he peaks over his shoulder to see if it’s true, whipping back around so fast it knocks the breath out of him, tongue stinging from sour drops of sorbic acid.

His brain pops like onions left to burn in the pan; sure that the tissue throbbing within his skull is fading into gray as his life starts packing up to move out to something greater than his body. He busies himself with his station, hunched over as he fumbles with nothing in particular.

I’m full, he tells himself, not another bite.

“Harry?”

He spins around, swallowing against his dry tongue. “Y/n.”

She shuffles in place, nodding to the chair. “Mitch said you’re available?”

“Y—yeah.” He adjusts the back of the chair, motioning for her to sit. “Wasn’t sure if you’d want me. To work on you, I mean.” He nods towards the other artists. “Shannon’s open. If you’re more comfortable with her.”

She slips her bag off her shoulder and hands it to him, stepping up to settle in the chair. “I think we can handle this. Don’t you?”

“F’course.” He sucks in a breath, rewiring his nerves to handle being so close to her. He grabs his sketchbook and flips to a fresh page. “Um, so what did you want to get?”

She looks over at him, narrowing her gaze. “You don’t have to be so formal with me.”

“No, right, you’re right.” He rolls his shoulders, loosening up some of the tension. His neck cracks like breaking peanut shells over a flame. She’s in a dress he remembers from parties. And her perfume’s expensive as hell; took him nearly two months to save up for it. She looks soft and real, devourable, like sunburnt cherries in July. Her eyes mean business as always, like she’s the only person capable of truly looking at themselves. But then he remembers how good she is at that. “How’ve you been?”

“Okay. What about you?”

“M’alright. Same old.” He shrugs.

“Still working hard I see.”

Harry purses his lips, silencing his initial rebuttal for a tamed response. “I’m good at what I do.”

“You never gave me one. Three years and you never worked on me.” Her voice is nostalgic, regretful, like she’s secretly pleading with him to turn back time.

“I didn’t. We were busy.”

“One of us more than the other.”

“Yes,” he bites, “I spent more time here than at home. I was getting this studio up and running. Sacrifices had to be made.”

“Is that what I am? A sacrifice?”

His heart somersaults and abandons his emotions, too cowardly to be present any longer. She’s only been sitting down for three minutes, three minutes and he’s losing his mind.

“What do you want me to say?” He pleads.

She blinks, relaxing her face and unloading her gun. She didn’t come here to grill him.

“Sorry. I uh, I’d like a butterfly.”

Harry nods, turning to his notebook again.

“Just like yours.”

He freezes, unable to move, pen cap still teetering between his teeth without a drop of ink yet to hit the blank page. “What?”

“I always liked it.” She shrugs like it’s so simple. Like she didn’t have three years to ask him to mark her up with more than bite marks and tangerine lipstick stains. Like all the times he playfully scribbled on her with a ballpoint pen never happened. She shrugs like everything’s okay. Like she’s still wearing the ring.

Harry flicks his eyes down, but she catches him.

“Do you want it back?”

He furrows his brow, looking away from her bare fingers. “Were you thinking of keeping it?”

She’s suddenly self conscious; he can taste it long before all her tell-tale signs proceed in order. He can feel it. First comes the wringing of her hands, then sitting on them to calm herself. But that’ll be too much, and she’ll have to do something with them, so she releases one from under her thigh to tuck her hair behind her ear.

“I don’t know...I mean, once I return it to you, that part of our lives is completely over. For good.”

Harry swallows, scooting closer to the chair so anyone else in the room doesn’t hear too much of their conversation. He could rest his chin on her leg if that was allowed. “I think things ended two months ago, love. A piece of jewelry doesn’t sign the papers. Does it?”

She barely shakes her head, her body wanting to reject the answer she has to give.

“I had my reasons, Harry.”

“And you explained them all to me very well.” He closes the notebook and pushes off his stool. She doesn’t look over at his station as he prepares everything, jumping when his voice hits her ear again. “Where do you want it?”

“Don’t you have to like, draw it first? Like a stencil or something?”

“You’re not getting my butterfly.” His foot hits a pedal and the chair begins to slowly rise. He scrapes his teeth against each other, holding eye contact as she ascends until her face is level with his. “I picked something out for you, years ago, in case you ever wanted to get one.”

“You did?”

“I did.”

She smells latex. The sound of his gloves snaps against his wrists, and then there’s a familiar hand that’s not so familiar anymore slipping around her elbow, encouraging her to turn so her back is facing him, and all she can see are the people strolling outside the shop as the sky darkens like dirty water.

“What is it?”

Harry hums, gathering her hair and tying it up himself. “S’nothing bad, don’t worry. Wouldn’t do that to you.”

He shuffles around and after a slew of noise he’s shoving a torn piece of paper onto her lap. She has to catch it before it slips off her legs. Once it’s oriented and he’s out of her peripheral, she soaks up the pen drawn sketch like it’s her last meal.

A finely drawn lemon nestled within two leaves. It’s bare, the markings frail but solid. It looks like a watercolor, like an ancient memory that scorches your heart over an open flame. She hovers her thumb above the image; it’ll burn her if she gets too close.

“Like it?”

Her voice sticks in her throat, thick like syrup and dry like old paprika, it tries crawling up her pharynx, but when she parts her lips there’s nothing to expose her thoughts. She nods and turns the paper over.

“Drew it up after our first date.” Harry trails his finger across the top of her spine and she shivers. “Told me all about your restaurant.”

“I remember.”

The lemons. Those damn lemons. Harry had traced up and down Melrose Avenue until he found the restaurant she was proudly hired as executive chef. Sending his compliments after the lemon leek roasted Cornish hen he’d had for dinner. Date number two was scheduled after hours when she invited him to her kitchen and doused him in red wine and figs.

“They were everywhere.” He pauses the stroll his fingers had on her neck, letting his hand slip off to fall limp by his side.

Splashes of their life together erupt behind his eyes like splattered vodka sauce.

All the lemons. Everywhere. Stinging his tongue in every meal she cooked and prickling his salivary glands before he even ate. Lemons faded onto the curtains they hung up in the tiny apartment they got and lemons on the wallpaper he surprised her with. Lemons in her speech, like she squeezed their domestic California citrus over each syllable, acidic yet delicate.

“They were our thing,” she muses, turning to catch him out of the corner of her eye. “It was your idea.”

“Yeah. Yeah it was.”

The noise is back, followed by something damp to her neck and the heavy scent of alcohol wafting around to her nose. The tearing of plastic and tapping and clicks fill the space behind her.

The next few minutes are cold and quiet, longer than real minutes that aren’t incinerated by memories. When the sound of the tattoo gun interrupts, she flinches. It’s ominous and metallic tasting, and she licks her lips because there’s blood in her mouth and she realizes for once that sound isn’t a flavor.

“Ready?”

“Is this going to hurt?”

The gun shuts off. He moves to face her and his eyes are tired. “It’s a tattoo.”

“I’ve never had one before.”

“I miss you.”

They stare at each other, boiling water leaking from a pot, sizzling on the stove as it spills onto the blue flame. Their faces burn and pupils widen, lashes fluttering against scorched skin.

“I’ll take you back,” he adds.

“You’ll take me?”

“We’ll take each other. That’s what you do...when you...y’know.”

“What? When you what?”

“You named your restaurant after my idea. You encouraged me to open this shop. You loved me. You were gonna marry me.”

“And you loved me.” Her voice is stern but fragile. “You loved me so much, you thought I’d never leave. I hardly saw you for an entire year.”

“I was opening this place up.”

“Do you even go home? Now, do you go home, Harry?”

Home is not covered in lemons, so no, he doesn’t.

“Yes. Do you ever talk about anything other than yourself? Does everyone you meet know that you worked your way up to owner? Do you tell them how you cook for celebrities? Do they know I came up with the name?”

“Below the belt, Harry.”

“Maybe I was wrapped up in my stuff, but at least I wasn’t wrapped up in myself.”

“Are you fucking serious? Do you actually think there’s a difference?”

“Yes! Yes there is a difference, because I don’t need this place. My entire identity isn’t buried in all aspects that are tattooing.”

“I am passionate. I’ve wanted to own my—”

“To own my own restaurant since I was a little girl.” Harry shifts his weight and swallows; bitterness, ascorbic acid, the dinner bell is ringing and he’s running late. “Might as well tell that little girl that owning that damn restaurant is all she’ll ever care about.”

“I cared about you!”

“Did you?”

“Fuck! I named the damn place after your idea!”

Their chests heave and swell, silence falling between them. Harry’s shoulders fall forward again, and he catches his breath. With just a couple steps he stands right in front of her, slipping his glove covered hand into hers.

“I just need to know, if you miss me.”

“Harry—”

“I get it. Were done. But if you do, even a tiny bit…”

“Harry.”

“Please, I’m starving, baby.”

She sighs, stalling, nerves exploding, popping like oil against her bones and veins and scaring her from the inside out. “I—”

“Harry,” Mitch yells from the counter, “Your next appointment.”

Harry blinks, wiping the rest of the smeared ink off his wrist. It takes him a second to focus and let reality settle back down around him like flaming cognac.

His next client is a new one, wanting something small and simple, Harry’s specialty.

“Thanks for taking me so late,” the man sits in the chair and rolls his sleeve up. “I really like all your work on Instagram. Especially the lemons.”

Harry hums, drifting his gaze out the opened door to the people strolling by.

“I want mine like that.” The man nods towards the entrance. “Like the ones on the sign out front.”

“My ex-fiancé picked that out.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Yep. It was our thing.”

#please let me know what you think!#requests #anon request #harry styles blurb #harrystyles writing #harry styles writing #cherryyharryy writing #request

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millenialfanfictionaddiction · 3 years

Text

Golden Nights: Part 12

Warnings: Sexual assault, forced touching, catcalling, unwanted kissing, unwanted touching, victim blaming themselves, swearing, abuse

⚠️THIS FIC IS 18+⚠️

Word count: 2117

A/N: this was a hard chapter both read and wrote. This chapter and the two following are rough and maybe triggering. I can tell my writing wasn't as great this chapter. I'm kinda attached to reader so it hurt me a little 🥺

Also I changed the cover title 😅 not sure if I like it or not yet but I like that you can tell it's a Bakugo fic!

You and Bakugou continued to see each other several times over your days off. You'd go to his office or he'd come to pick you up at your house. Your dates always ending in heated makeout sessions. They didn't go further as you both seemed to stop before it was able to go any further.

You were OK with this. As much as you wanted this man to split you in half, you knew you were both going slow. You had discussed your previous relationships with each other. Bakugou assuring you he was ok with your profession. He understood dancing was your passion and that you wanted to open your own studio. As much as he wanted to just buy you the studio space, he knew how hard you had worked and how much you had saved. He knew that you wanted to do this on your own and he supported you fully. Up to this point, you had been fully independent and so had he. You both knew independence was important in a relationship and that a solid support system was the end goal. You told him you were less than $5,000 away from opening your studio and that you knew once you put the payment down, that you would have to start all over again. You'd need to keep working at the club for a while until you got clients and employees established. He wanted to give you everything.

He knew you loved dancing and he wanted to support you. He could more than afford for you to quite your job at the club and dedicate your time fully to your dance studio however he knew how important this was to you. He stored the idea in the back of his mind for a rainy day.

Saturday approached quickly and you prepared to return to the club. Bakugo told you he was going to be working late with Kirishima at the office. They were hot on the trail of the quirk dealers and were tying up some lose ends before they decided how to proceed. He told you he'd stop by to pick you up at 2am because he didn't want you to walk home. You insisted that you would be fine but he wasn't having it.

You were thankful that he cared so much about your well being. You packed your bag for the night and continued getting ready. You put on your signature lashes and gloss look, adding a few faux freckles to complete the ensemble. You grabbed a white lace bralette, matching panty and 5 inch white heels. You added your angel wings and halo headband to the mix. Happy with your selection, you packed up and headed to the club. Bakugou couldn't take you as he was stuck at work so he asked Taya and Reirei if they could escort you. You really didn't need someone to walk with you but you didn't argue with him.

You were ready by 8pm when you heard a knock. "Lets get going loser" Reirei said as Taya giggled. You laughed as you bid Nibblet a good night and locked your door. The three of you walked to the club, smiling as you saw the line of people outside. You smile as Gigi lets you in. You head backstage to prepare for your set. B still hadn't recovered from strep and was not able to come in. The poor girl had been in the hospital due to the sickness and was out of work for the next two weeks. You sighed knowing you had to perform alone. You adjusted your wings and halo. You strapped your heels on as you checked yourself in the mirror. You add a little gloss and Taya and Reirei return from their set. "There are some big spenders tonight Y/N" Taya says showing you her stack of cash. Your eyes widen with delight. You were so close! A few more successful nights and you'd be there! You smiled thinking about opening your studio, Katsuki by your side as you cut the ribbon. It was so close.

You heard the DJ announcement start as you make your way to the stage. You take a few deep breaths as you wait for your introduction. You heard "...Daisy Fox" and you head to the stage. The crowd was packed. Much more than a normal Saturday night. You figured there must be a bachelor party or something happening. You smile as you start to dance. The crowd cheers and starts to clap.

It's overwhelming. Never has a crowd been this loud before. You try to focus on your dancing in the midst of catcalls and sexist remarks. You feel like you're up there forever as the song slowly ends. You put on a fake smile as you bow to your audience. You move to exit the stage when you hear it.

"Hey baby girl, miss me" you look and see a man with a hat and coat on.

"I'm sorry do I know you" you say keeping your distance as you continue to make your way to the back stage.

The man grabs your arm and pulls you towards him. You try to scream but you can't. You froze.

"You should remember me babygirl. We were so rudely interrupted by that no good Dynamight last time" he smirks "I just wanted to talk with you."

You struggle against his grip. It hurts your arm. "Let me go please. We can talk just let me go" you start to feel tears well up in your eyes.

Where is GiGi?? You can't control the sobs as they sneak from you mouth. The man leans in close to your face whispering "don't be afraid babygirl, I promise I won't hurt you too much" he smiles into your neck as he kisses it.

You freeze. You feel disgusting. He touched you and not only that, he did it without your permission. How did he get back in the club? You assume he must have snuck in with Gigi was distracted by the fight earlier at the door.

"Listen babygirl, let's say you and me get out of here. I can take you to my place and we can-" he trails off into your neck.

You're full on bawling this point. You struggle to get away his he pulls you closer gripping your arm tighter and snaking his nasty hand to your ass. He smacks your ass as you try to scream. Nothing comes out.

This is a nightmare.

This has to be a fucking dream.

Wake up Y/N you idiot!

You stare blankly at the wall as he continues to lightly kiss your neck. His hand sneaks to the front of your panties and you shift away. No this isn't happening.

Come on mouth, scream! Scream God dammit.

You keep crying. You just want it to end. You feel sick to your stomach. Your mind drifts to Katsuki. His smile and laugh. His gorgeous face. Maybe if you picture him this nightmare won't be so horrible? Who are you kidding, you are being assaulted by a man you don't even know.

Like knowing him would make any difference!

Jesus fucking Christ this isn't happening. His hand sneaks below your panty line as you cry louded. "Shush baby girl, I won't hurt y-"

"Y/N-" Taya looks at you with her eyes wide.

The man let's you fall to the floor as he runs down the hall. You scream and cry uncontrollably. Taya screams for Reirei and Gigi. She rushes to your side as you grab to her like your life depends on it. Your can't stop crying. You feel so disgusting. This man violated you and in the worst way. He touched you when you didn't want him to. He forced himself on you. Taya grabs pulls you into her chest "GIGI! REIREI!"

Reirei runs out of the dressing room holding a shirt over her chest. "What happened?" She shouts as you continue to cry uncontrollably.

"Call the police right now, call an ambulance!" Taya shouts as Reirei runs to the dressing room throwing her shirt on reaching for her phone. Gigi and Mai come running to the back after hearing you screaming. Taya tells Gigi what happened and Gigi sees red. He takes off running in the direction Taya saw the man going. You clench to Taya like your drowning.

You can't let go.

You can't speak.

You feel so violated so scared.

Taya tries to adjust you but you don't move. "Mai get Tony! Tell him to call Dynamight" Taya screams as you scream and sob harder into her body. This had to be a nightmare.

🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

Bakugo and Kirishima were at the office working on the quirk drug file. They had narrowed it down to a few suspects known in the area for being associated with quirk drugs. They were working on formulating a plan of attack.

"I think it would be best if we catch them in the act, you know, get them so the case is a done deal" Kirishima says and Katsuki looks over the file.

It's 12:30am and he's done. He mentally checked out a while ago. He mind drifting to you. He'd hoped your night was going well. You had texted him a few times earlier, sending him a pic of your outfit for the evening.

You looked fucking spectacular. A fucking angel on earth. The perfect way he would describe you. God he loved you. He wanted to tell you so fucking bad. He wanted you to know you were it for him. He wanted you to be his.

The ringing of the office phone took him out of his thoughts. "Ah let the machine get it, it's probably the police asking for assistance. They can hit up another agency" Kirishima says as Bakugo nods.

"Thank you for calling the Dynamight/Red Riot agency. We are unable to take your call, please leave your message and return phone number after the BEEP *Beep*" a voice begins to speak. It's panicked as Kirishima and Bakugo look at each other

"Dynamight, this is Mai from Club Golden, please pick up! It's about Y/N..."

Katsuki runs to the phone and picks it up "Hello yes Mai, what's wrong? Is Y/N ok?" He shouts and he hears the women start crying "no she's not something happen-"

"We are coming right now" Katsuki yells as he slams the phone down. Kirishima and Katsuki rush to the stairs jumping flights at a time not wasting time with the elevator. Katsuki jumps in his car and Kirishima yells at him"you go ahead I'll follow" Katsuki nods as he peels out of his parking spot.

Oh God please Y/N be ok

His grip on his steering wheel is turning his knuckles white. He doesn't think he's breathed since he left the office. He reaches 90 on the streets as he parks his car. He can see flashing lights in front of the club as he begins to run. Kirishima pulls behind him and gets out, running after Katsuki.

"WHERE THE FUCK IS SHE? WHERE IS Y/N?" He shouts.

The club has been evacuated. Only the police and a few paramedics remain. "Dynamight, Red Riot, please come with me" Tony shouts as he waves the heros over to him. Katsuki runs to him as they begin to walk.

"I dont know how this happened, nobody has entrance except the staff-" he trails off. Katsuki doesn't even hear him. He is looking for you. The door swings open and his heart shatters.

There you are on the floor curled up as Taya holds you. You are crying uncontrollably and shaking. He doesn't even stop, he runs by everyone quickly rushing to your side.

"Y/N..." Katsuki's breath hitches as you look up at him.

You cry harder latching onto his neck as he hold you. Taya looks sick as she relaxes against the wall.

You scream and cry "I'm so sorry Katsuki. Please I'm so sorry! He came out of nowhere and grabbed me. I tried to fight him off but he kept pushing me!"

He pulls you in closer as you cry harder.

"It's ok baby. Shoo it's ok I'm here now and I'm not leaving you" he looks to Taya as she slowly gets up. Kirishima helps her up and leads her to the dressing room with a police officer. You cling to Katsuki as you cry and he holds you.

"It's ok baby. Please it's ok. Whatever happened was not your fault baby" he pleads as you cling to him. He feels like you molded to him. He's struggling to breath. His emotions are all over the place. What happened?

#bakugo katuski #bakugou smut #bakugou x reader #katsuki bakugo x reader #mha bakugou #my hero acadamy #my hero academy fanfiction #anime #pro hero bakugou #goldennights #pro hero dynamight #my hero academia #bakugo #bakugou katsuki

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cherry-ber · 4 years

Text

“You notice how wine makes people wanna feel, like sexy?”

Pairing: idol! Mark Lee x female reader

Plot: Lonesome creeps into everyone's mind, even those who seem to have it all.

Genre: fluff mostly, angst.

Warnings: mentions of alcohol, extremely painful for me to write this since I feel lonely idk if that triggers you too.

A.N: inspired by the first draft of too drunk to fuck and my bff's dependence of wine to exist 😳 this took me 10 hours to write but it might still be pretty shit. And yeah Clueless some how

After a long, long week of continuous recordings, dance practices, re-recordings and photo sessions, all he wanted to do, was sleep for twenty hours straight. He knew that he was a very lucky man, he was really living the dream. Not everyone was able to do what they loved, with people they genuinely liked, and still get payed for it, but he was. He had always been grateful, he knew the real value of things in real life, and sometimes he felt like he didn't even deserve it.

An insane amount of people knew his name, knew him, and constantly made sure that he knew how appreciated he was, but he couldn’t understand it at all. Sure, he proved himself over and over again how great he could be, and he was proud too, but why did people really loved him? Sometimes it's easy to lose yourself, but lately he was struggling even more, he felt lost and unworthy, he felt guilty, even, because he shouldn't feel this way.

Mark was home alone, after his friends went out to have dinner and drinks. He excused himself out of the reunion saying that he would call his parents and then heading straight to the bed. He wasn't lying at all, he did have a small call with his family, and then went to his room, expecting that he'd fall asleep soon and forget about what he was feeling, he was done with that for today.

He played a movie in his computer, knowing that whatever it was, he wasn't paying attention anyway. He hated to admit it, but he felt like he was missing something, rather, someone. He felt ridiculous, knowing how much people loved him, how many friends he had, but he couldn’t help it, he would be lying if he didn't say he could use a little company. Mark was busy most of the time, which, although tiring, was an escape from his loneliness, it was moments like this where he'd have enough time to sink in this small puddle of angsty feelings, that just grew until it was as big as an ocean. He couldn't explain why he felt so bad, he had enough friends to count on, and even when he considered he was only in need of a physical affect, it turned out to not be the answer, even when he masturbated, when he was finished, those feelings were still there. As the movie went on without him noticing, he turned his head to the side, and imagined someone next to him, wearing his clothes and stealing his blanket. He giggles, imagining cuddling someone to sleep, their heat making him feel home. He finally closes his tired eyes with a smile, hoping his dreams will be sweet and last long.

He wakes up in a bad mood, and doesn't really want to talk to anyone, his older friends notice, and decide to let him be, they know that if something is really wrong, he'll come to them eventually. After a quick shower, he decided he needed some privacy, some time alone, despite being scared of being stuck with himself, and went out on his own, ignoring the texts on the group chat, where everyone wondered where he was going. He had breakfast in a small Cafe, went to a movie matinee, an art gallery, a theater play, and then to a mall to buy himself expensive clothes. He had an okay day, and he grew a little bit of joy, finding himself alone and still almost enjoying his time, but mostly, ignoring his mind when he saw a couple, and wished he could have that too. He enters a restaurant, intending to order something take out for his friends, as an apology for being moody and worrying them. He waits stand up next to the door, with a cup of coffee they offered him, until he suddenly turns around after hearing his order being ready, and ceashes with someone as he does. He spilled his drink over his and their clothes. He starts apologizing, but all he gets as a response is a soft, sweet giggle. He looks to the stranger's face, and is met with a fond smile.

“It's okay, go get your food, I can fix myself”

He's caught off guard, and all he can do is shake his head yes and do as he is told, coming back to them, apologizing again.

“I'm such an idiot, I'm so sorry” he's totally embarrassed, and he feels a blush running through his face.

“It's alright, it wasn't your fault”

The stranger walks inside to take a table, and he rushes out, walking back home. That giggle makes its way to his mind a couple times as he arrives.

After eating, he goes to bed, feeling somehow full with himself, but he doesn't know if it was after forcing himself to like him, or if he was so desperate for someone that a small interaction like that would get him sleepless thinking this person would be his person.

On that same week, he founds himself running into that same stranger everywhere. When he goes get coffee with his friends, when they go to buy groceries, when he heads to the studio, and he wonders if he should be worrying, but decides not to.

Surprisingly, he founds her again, when he is entering a new coffee shop, and she walks her way out. He opens the door for her, and is met with her fond smile again, that grows larger as she recalls his face. She mumbles a sweet 'thank you' and keeps walking. Some courage grows inside Mark, and blurts out whatever his brain was fast enough to say.

“Thanks for not spilling that coffee back” the young lady finds the sentence, although awkward, funny, and turns back to him to reply.

“Maybe I should pay for your coffee, though, you were enjoying it until I crashed into you” Her melodic voice is enough to put Mark in a trance, and loses control of what he's doing, disconnecting from his awkward self.

“Actually it was my fault” he giggles remembering how sweet she was, even after Mark probably just ruined her day “Did you get a horrible stain?”

She walks closer to him, small steps that make his heart beat faster.

“It wasn't horrible, I wouldn't say that, it was just, slightly bad”

“I don't want to be a weirdo, are you busy right now? I could use some chatting, and I really owe your laundry money”

She was never an outgoing person, but she was flattered by his proposal. She was meeting someone, but she figured it wouldn't be important enough to not cancel.

“I would love that, but you owe me nothing” she giggles and walks beside him into an empty table.

“I'm Mark, by the way”

“I know that” she laughs it off, attempting for things not to be awkward “My name is Y/N”

It was only after several months, that Mark found himself, again, over thinking about how lonely he was, and how desperate he was for it to end. Whenever he had the chance, he'd spend time with his new friend, and for some weeks, thats was enough, until he realized that, all she wanted from him, was a friendship. His friends noticed, too, how after a while, that wasn't enough for him, but he was terrified he'd lose her, but they'd often try to help him out in whatever way other men would think was best, teasing her when she was at the dorms, insinuating how cute of a couple they'd be, and shamelessly asking if by any chance, she'd have feelings for him, never really giving away Mark's crush on her, not explicitly at least.

One afternoon, when they were all watching a movie together, when suddenly, Johnny and Taeyong convinced everyone to go out and have dinner, even after Mark suggested they just called the restaurant, because he was too tired to go out.

“Oh” Taeyong said, grabbing his keys and putting on a hat “then you can stay here with Y/N and order something and we can take our time”

The girl was a little disappointed, she loved spending time with the other guys two, but she agreed, knowing that Mark wouldn't want be convinced to leave the couch.

She sees then leave, and turns around to look at her friend, somehow aware of what his friends were trying to do; leave them alone, after last night they discussed Mark should just accept the reject, and confess. The boy asked, pleaded and begged them not to leave them alone, after he opened up about his feelings, but of course, his friends thought they'd know better.

“Can you order pizza while I take a shower?” his attention called back to where he was, as the sweet woman walked into the living room, with a bottle of wine and two cups. Mark chocked in his spit, when the thought of her showering, and how much he'd love to enter the scene, crossed his mind.

“Yeah, sure” he watched her walking away “Do you want some clothes?”

“Well, if I could steal one of your hodies tonight, I wouldn't mind”

He does as he's asked, calling a pizzeria and taking off his hoodie, hoping that she'd appreciate the smell of his cologne, that he wears only when she's coming around.

When she comes out, wearing her jeans and tank top, he throws the sweater at her, she puts it on and sits in the couch next to him, ready to start eating, reaching out for the bottle to serve them a cup after the first bite.

“I don't want to drink that” he'd never been a fan of alcohol, he knew he could use a boost, but he was still afraid of it.

“Huh? Why is that?”

“I don't drink wine” She recalled how he'd often drink with Johnny and her, whenever Johnny wanted to open a bottle, which happened quite often, but decided not to insist, although she did pour a cup for herself.

Mark, and any other men, really, always wondered what could she be thinking about, she was wild, energetic, but calmed and peaceful, she was always kind, but wouldn't hesitate to start a fight if to defend herself or someone else, she was never scared, but she was sensitive and fragile. He couldn't help the sigh that left his body, remembering why he had feelings for her in the first place. He knew how much she'd hate to be in a relationship, they had already discussed it, after some girl confessed to Mark, and she mentioned how relationships to her were useless, since she got all the love she wanted from her friends, and that way, she made sure that all the love she gave was reciprocal. When he told his manager about his feelings, expecting him to give him helpful advice, he just told him to forget about her. “women like her are too complicated, it's not worth it”. He wondered then, how many other guys would think the same, and refused to be one of those.

They were both full, and cuddling in the couch, she was sipping her second cup, when Mark suddenly poured a cup for himself too, and drank it in one large sip. He felt a rush through his body, his face flustered, and a numb sensation in his limbs. He was trying to keep himself still, but the sudden alcohol in his body made him bubbly and the woman next to him realized. The cheesy romcom that was playing on the back made him giggle in every other scene, and with every minute that went by, he felt looser and looser. He served another cup and drank it just as fast as the first one. Soon, he found himself leaning towards the body that sat next to him. Y/N pat her thigh, inviting Mark to rest his head there, which he did, while fidgeting with his fingers.

“You notice how wine makes people wanna feel, like sexy” he lets out in a serious tone.

Giggly, his friend shakes her head no, and places her cup in the table in front of them. “Do you feel like sexy?”

He sits himself back, eyes wide open, same serious expression in his face.

“I guess so?” he laughs at how dumb he must sound “I feel... Jiggly”

Her sweet, loud laugh fills the room, and Mark is proud of himself for making her so happy.

“Love, you should go to sleep already” he feels his face hotter and hotter, and can only imagine how red he must be “you were already tired, I'll clean up and meet you in your room-”

Mark bursts out of his bubble and speaks

“Don't do that” he says softly, as if he was genuinely hurt by her words “Please, don't do that”

Worried, Y/N walks closer to him, “Do what?”

He looks down to his feet, feeling tears forming in his eyeballs, product of his low alcohol tolerance, and his overall emotional state. “Dont call me love. You don't love me”

She reaches for his hands, attempting to make him look straight at her eyes “Of course I love you Mark”

“Not the way I want you to”

She had never been good with other people's feelings, especially romantic feelings, she had a hard time catching indirects.

“In which way is that?” hesitant, Mark stares at her for a couple seconds, before staring at her lips, too numb to do better, he grabes her chin and pulls her closer to him, a sweet, slow kiss surprising her as much as himself. When he pulls away and expects a response of any kind, all she can do is try to look at him.

“Oh, Mark” she finally manages to say “is this the way you feel?” he nods, still nervous but hopeful that she'll feel the same “You're drunk, go to sleep” she turns around as she cleans as quick as she can, as mark makes his way to his room, or to the first room he sees open.

Before the other men living in the dorms arrive and ask questions that she doesn't want to answer, she leaves, leaving a post it note in the fridge for Mark”

“Drink water and have a painkiller,

I had to go home. Thanks for the wine

-Y/N”

Too many weeks after, Mark calls her phone one more time before he enters the dorms, wondering if he had really done the worst thing in the world, for her to ghost him like that. He let a tired sigh out, grateful that he was home alone again. He goes to his room, ready to sleep for as long as he can, but when he opens the door, the lights are on, and in his bed sits what could be only described as an angel, beautiful as always, smiling and kind Y/N, with a cup of wine in her delicate hands, and another one on his nightstand, that she offers him as he's taking off his shoes and sweater.

With pain and regret in her eyes, as he's taking the first sip, she attempts to break the silence. “You ever notice how wine makes people feel sexy?”

179 notes · View notes

webcontentmanagement · 3 years

Text

The “BTS Biot” Trend

How uneducated people in the Philippines use the phrase "BTS BIOT" to hurl homophobic epithets against the group.

he Jose Rizal Memorial University (JRMSU) in Zamboanga del Norte has announced that it is investigating students who were involved in the viral “BTS Biot (gay)” photoshoot that received criticism from the internet.

The issue arose from the posting of a group of boys and the posting of a poster including a caption called "BTS BIOT," which turned into a trend on Twitter and Facebook.Several internet users have chastised the school for allowing children to "spread hatred and prejudice against different nations."One Twitter user said, "The #BTSBiot is a prejudiced and homophobic act against BTS."Another person posted on Facebook, "It's one thing to mock and make fun of BTS, and it's another another to insinuate that being homosexual is an insult." On Thursday, June 3, JRMSU emphasized that it had not issued any orders for students to "make personal declarations or remarks in their images."

“The pictures of two senior high school students holding a whiteboard with disparaging remarks about a boyband circulating in the internet was done upon the personal request of the said students with a photo studio of their own choosing without the knowledge and official sanction of University authorities,” the school said on its official Facebook page.

BTS (Bangtan Boys) is the most renowned male K-pop idol founded in 2010 and has since made its debut with Jin, Suga, J-Hope, V and Jungkook. The problem apparently started with a gay, bisexual and feminine cebuano phrase from the Philippines, "BIOT." Usually, a male feels insulted by the name of a female. The BTS BIOT problem is even reaching South Korea and all BTS supporters are angered by the male group's experience of insult and criticism.

As ‘BTS Bayot' or ‘BTS Biot' trends in the Philippines, BTS supporters, popularly known as ARMYs, expressed their dissatisfaction. In the Filipino language, the term is now being used as a trendy catch-all disparaging term for male homosexuals, male-to-female transgenders, or transexuals. As "Pride Month" approaches, Filipino netizens have normalized the term's use on social media and in everyday conversations, highlighting the narrow definition of what it means to be "masculine."

LGBTQ+'s support in Korean music has increased over the years. Many K-Pop idols have spoken for fans on LGBTQ+ problems, and BTS is the most influential person to promote and soothe the community.

The term "gay" is still used as a disparaging epithet in many parts of society. When determining whether or not homophobia occurs, the aim, effect, and context in which words are used are all critical. Unfortunately, homophobic language is still prevalent in the twenty-first century's second decade.

The trend has even reached South Korea, where fans have shared their opinions:

"First and foremost, I am not upset because I am a fan of BTS. As a Korean, I'm triggered. BTS is regarded as one of Korea's greatest achievements. And talking about it makes me a little enraged.What if I make a snide remark about Manny Pacquiao? I'm not claiming he's the worst boxer alive; I'm just stating that talking nonsense about Manny Pacquaio, one of the Philippines' greatest pride and achievements, would make you angry and upset.Exactly the same thing. You don't have the right to spout nonsense about anything just because you don't like it. Be respectful, and strive to improve. And what exactly is the problem with being gay? "You homophobic f*ck."

Another Korean citizen also commented that “Maybe Filipinos made this phrase as a joke, but this joke is very insensitive. Or maybe because they are jealous. But the fact is that the Filipinos are hurting us Koreans and also the LGBT community.

Furthermore, it is common knowledge that most K-pop idols are unconcerned about gender stereotypes. Many stated that society's expectations on men made it difficult for them to be themselves.

“The labels of what being masculine is is an outdated concept," as RM explained. "It is not our intention to break it down. But if we are making a positive impact, we are very thankful." He added, "We live in an age where we shouldn't have those labels or have those restrictions."

RM, pushed young people to speak up for themselves at a speech to the United Nations General Assembly in 2018. He said, "I want to hear your voice." "I'd like to know about your belief. Just speak for yourself, regardless of your origins, skin color, or gender identity. Find out what your name is and what your voice is." His speech garnered a lot of attention, especially among LGBTQ+ people.

The Filipino Armys defend and protect against Filipino homophobic about BTS BIOT on social media.

One of the world's hotgest boy bands is Bangtan Boys or better known as BTS. Seven million people – Suga, Jin, J-Hope, RM, JungKoke, V, and Jimin, in particular online – cannot be obtained enough by millions. Since BTS used the voice to influence and promote equal rights, the conservative society of South Korea has evolved. Lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT+) supportive stars are also supported.

They have given the community encouragement and comfort. The term 'gay' remains a derogatory term in some countries. This homophobic rhetoric is still common and is already the second decade of the 21st century. BTS BIOT (gay), which recently surpassed the trending topic on Twitter, expressed delight at the students' viral photoshoot after the BTS fans, also known as ARMYs. Some Philippines still have a mistaken and negative use of the word gay. The subject was celebrated in the Pride Month with thousands of commitments. A netizen called the school "for permitting their students to promote hate and harm against others.

The Filipino armys is sensitive to the Filipinos who are homophobic to their Korean idol group. Their rights are upheld in every Filipino armys. Some armies create BTS biot and blogs with video creation. The Filipino armys become patients and excuse themselves for the activities of the homophobic Filipinos.

A birth of small-minded clout chasers.

Since the release of the new McDonald’s and BTS collaboration, the fans (ARMY) of the globally known K-Pop boyband have been going crazy about the limited event hosted by the fast-food chain. The fans of the boyband are known for their extreme fangirling, not only girls now, but a lot of guys are also getting really interested as well. The fanbase is also known to be one of the biggest fan groups to ever exist.

When there are fans, of course, there are also those that despise or hate on the boyband. Most of the haters started hating because of how the fans are always excessively losing their minds on whatever the boyband do in their career; may it be on social media, on song releases, and on brand collaborations. Some haters started hating plainly because they have nothing better to do with their time.

Furthermore, the boyband, have been rumored to be gay as well. Hence, the uprising of a trending phrase “BTS BIOT” which directly means “BTS GAY.” The word ‘biot’ or properly spelled as ‘bayot’ is a vernacular term for the word ‘gay’ so with the ongoing trending of the phrase, we can only assume that it was the Bisaya people who spearheaded this trend.

A lot of people that are hating on the fanbase and the boyband are also even purchasing the BTS Meal just to post a photo of the packaging being thrown in garbage bins or even balling up the paper bags for the meal. A lot of them do this to piss off the fans or plainly just chasing clout on the internet.

However, may it be true or not, regardless of what their gender is; they should still be respected for what they do and for their contributions to the music industry.

Take from an Army

"Why do you like KPOP?"

"Why do you like BTS?"

"Isn't it a waste of time and money?"

"Why are you so interested in them? What benefits do you get from them?"

These are just some of the questions that people do usually ask whenever they meet a kpop fan. People usually tend to insult or look down on people who are an avid KPOP fan. Some people would think that K-Pop fans are weird and probably insane for doing so. As a KPOP fan, these statements don’t matter to me. Honestly, I don't mind it at all. I've always understood that people really do have different personalities and preferences in the things that they do like. But an issue that was brought up recently really caught my attention. I am an Army, I am an avid fan of BTS, and with the issue on "BTS BIOT" came up, I was deeply disturbed. For me, it was really insulting, and it pains me to see that a lot of Filipino people are really doing it for fun. I have so many questions going through my mind. Why do they hate BTS? Is it because these guys wear makeup and fancy clothes? Is it because these guys show love, care and intimacy towards each other and their fans? Are those people behind the issue really do hate them? or they were just using it for clout? I am indeed bothered and disappointed at the same time. As an army, I am really upset knowing that the issue came from my home country. It is really sad because these people do not know how BTS helped their fans. The peace, love and comfort that the armys get from them is what they don't understand. BTS helped their fans emotionally and mentally, these guys taught us how to love ourselves. These guys even support, educate and raise awareness on LGBTQ+ issues. It is really sad that these guys only aim to make people, their fans happy and loved, yet they are being mocked and insulted. If only people could show empathy, compassion and understanding, we could have a better world for sure where people could live in peace and just do anything that could make them happy. It is just a matter of respecting each other's choices and preferences. Please put in mind that if there is anything that you don’t like from other people's choices, and if you can't support them, at least respect them.

#music #kpop #stopthehate #army #bts #WebContentManagement #AcademicBlog #Blog

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hanadulsettt · 6 years

Text

Magic Shop

Genre: Angst

Word count: 0.9k

Notes: Ddosun is the name of Jimin’s old dog.

My head sways slightly back and forth…

Wait no - I’m still. This is all in my head. I’m not even moving anymore. My bare toes clench the laminate floor, grasping it after another sloppy pirouette.

I shut my eyes, squeezing all my muscles towards the bridge of my nose. Trying to regain my balance. The only real sounds I hear are my shallow pants echoing off of the mirrored walls. I try to push Ddosun’s voice deeper into the back of my mind.

I know you’re not real, Ddosun.

I won’t say cliche things like ‘have strength’

I’ll just listen Jimin, I’ll listen

I feel his fur against my calves. Just as soft as freshly fallen snow, but equally as unreal. It's August. I look down to see nothing but my blood rushed feet. My eyes flicker in rhythm with the broken light in the corner of the dance studio. I feel the purple pain and agony and my knees hit the ground. From my ears which the sickening indigo ache runs to, I hear boldy consistent footsteps approach.

“Holy shit”

Taehyung...?

“Damn you Jimin.” He grits his teeth.

Today, his voice is like a river encouraged by an impulsive tsunami. Unlike his usual tone, which is as smooth as plummeting beads of rainwater. His syllables could be spring droplets, but which of mother nature's marbles have the power to move boulders? My thoughts begin to consume each other much like these beads that dive into the waves of tsunamis. They evaporate and become the sky, flying through this deep space of my mind, tumbling over each other. Tag, you’re it!

Ah, hello, memories.

Eating only cup noodles with Taehyung through our rough pre debut. Ddosun’s fur soaking up my bitter tears of failure... You were all I had. But do I still have you?

The thoughts are gone by the time my tsunami ruins the ancient city. The calm in between the many August typhoons arrives. My mind runs silent as I hear a familiar voice.

“Yeah. He's in the hospital for starving again.”

Excitedly welcoming the new words, my eyes crack open to his talking only to realize he's outside of the room. An attempt to move my arm only results in a sharp prick from the IV tube cutting through my muscles. An electric current igniting my body into a rapid dance of pain. I prefer softer dances, thank you. The bright sun from the window blinds me. Ddosun. The aftertaste of iron blood glisses across my mouth. Ddosun. The blinding rays spiral through my eyes and weave past my various thoughts... until they meet Ddosun’s voice again… we’ve made it to him again.

I told you you’d overcome it

You didn’t

But I believe in your galaxy

How will the stars in your milky way I see embroider your sky?

What does that even mean, Ddosun. You’re not even human. You’re not even on this earth anymore. What are you doing in my thoughts… to my thoughts… I remember when you were alive. You had so much love to give, and I had a purpose back then.

My eyes are still hazy but I see the brass door knob turn. A familiar face meets my eyes. I refocus on the pang of bitter on my tastebuds to avoid the yellow emotion that is growing from my stomach up.

“Tae...”

He doesn’t wear his boxy smile today. Nor are there galaxies in his eyes....

“Your body can't take any more of this shit. We worry about you so much, damn it.”

Taehyung sits on the corner of my the hospital bed. Rubbing his eyes with his soft hands. I brush my face with my palms as an attempt to rid my face of this feeling that continuously crawls up my abdomen no matter how many times I fight it to stay at bay. Thoughts, thoughts… Ddosun.

Remember 4 o'clock. That song is about you. Taehyung wrote about your friendship. You’re the moon, the blue shade, you see?

… the moon?

Following into the deep night

The sound of you singing

Brings the red morning

A step, and another step

The dawn passes

And when that moon falls asleep

The blue shade that stayed with me disappears

“You look like a fat pig that can’t stop eating”

Days when you hate that you’re you

Days when you want to disappear

Let's make a door in your heart… and when you open that door and go inside, this place will be waiting for you

Magic Shop

I want to love myself. How can I love myself who needs to eat less.The self that can't lose any fucking weight without passing out? Even me, can't love myself.

“Magic shop… maybe I'm almost there, at least I'm discharged, Ddosun…” I hum to myself.

I push the glass door, leaving a hand print with curves similar to rivers on it. Walking out of the volumeless air conditioned breeze behind me, welcoming the thick August heat. My phone sits quietly in my palm, hand wrapping around it. But just by staring at it I hear the screams of the comments. My hand quivers as I swipe my thumb up and tap in the password.

Twitter.

“Fat pig”

“He needs to go on a diet already, the other members are so much more handsome”

My breath hitches and my nose pricks. The feeling of getting chlorine pool water up your nose, that's the feeling of the trigger pulling tears down your face. The door Ddosun told me about… where is it…

#JiminYouArePerfect

I'm learning how to love myself.

I'll find my magic shop.

#bts #jimin #taehyung #magicshop #4oclock #btsangst #btswritings #btsfanfic #btsff #angst #kpop scenarios #kpop #kpop angst #bangtan #bts taehyung #bts jimin #park jimin #kim taehyung #songfic

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