#Such an invasive thing to ask someone.
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If your institutionally mandated "diversity survey" doesn't include a 'prefer not to say' option for every single question, congratulations, I now know better than to believe that your institution is safe for minority students.
#original post#text post#stupid ass mandatory online survey asked me for my birth sex#as if that's relevant to anything at all#no “prefer not to say” options#like great.#My birth sex is personal information. I do not want to disclose that. But now I'm forced to pick the sex I was assigned at birth#thereby giving others the opportunity to categorize me into a binary gender based on what genitals I had at birth#before they've even spoken to me no less#and their website says “this information will be kept private and will only be made available to some members of faculty”#as if that makes it okay.#No.#The only person who needs to know what sex I was given as a baby is me.#Such an invasive thing to ask someone.#Point is nobody should be forced to out themselves as queer disabled an ethnic minority etc. etc.#And any institution which doesn't respect that isn't an institution that I want anything to do with.#vent in tags#vent post#frustrated#social justice#enbyphobia mention#implied transphobia#transphobia mention
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man i know no one cares but i honestly don't know why they blocked me and it's been bugging me and i miss their blog :( and we weren't like close mutuals but we weren't like distant either. we'd send occasional messages or asks or some other interaction :(
#part of me wants to ask somehow but if they really did block me on purpose and it wasn't an accident then that'd be really creepy/rude/#/prove their point in blocking me#but i don't get it and it's making me sad and worry that i've done something wrong :((#i liked their loki stuff and miss their moodboards and the tag game things and the linkin park posts and i don't know what i did wrong :(#i mean maybe it was an accident and they don't even know they did it and are wondering the same thing about me! but i highly doubt that.#they probably blocked me on purpose.#and it's not like they unfollowed me but BLOCKED me.#ppl usually only block ppl if a) they hate them b) dont like the content#we both liked the same content; og loki. and at one point they were the top “fan” of my posts in the activity tab rankings#and i can't think of a single time we had anything contentious between us#and i don't typically post “controversial” takes#like the only “”“controversial”“” thing i can think of ive reblogged is pro-palestine stuff#are they really anti-palestine?? i just. i don't understand#and if i were to ask somehow how would i even do that?#make another account and send an anon?#ask someone else to ask them?#asking at all seems rude and invasive anyways#:((#:(((#i don't get it i don't get what i did :(((#unityrain.txt#vent in tags#rant in tags
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Impaler's Catacombs: Examination
This is something that I started before the DLC announcement that seems to indicate some particular importance for the Impaler's Catacombs. Basically, I wanted to do a thorough examination of any catacomb using my usual observation methods and this location happened to be the one chosen. So, I make no comment on implications for any particular character known as an Impaler and instead just focus on a visual walkthrough of the location.
Between the site of grace and the Martyr Effigy room with the door to the end chamber there is a short staircase with 2 cat-head imps hanging off the sides of the pit. A grave violet on the first landing. The pit appears to disappear into darkness, but thowing in a glowstone reveals that it's fairly shallow.
Along the corridor to the first chamber past the Martyr Effigy room there are unlit candles, cobwebs, pieces of wooden coffins and skeletons. There are 3 cat imps waiting in the chamber. The chamber contains 3 wooden coffins and 2 stone coffins, one of them filled with skeletons and a Grave Glovewort. Bars with the appearance of wrought-iron have been erected in front of the empty wall niches, which are themselves not proportioned to hold coffins of the size in the chamber. Similar metal bars are found in Murkwater Catacombs and in the torture cells at Castle Morne. There are fancy brass candlestands in the 4 corners which hold 9 candles each, but none of them are lit. Standing in the direction that the Glovewort is pointing leads to the way forwards and also points out the lit candles above the one wood coffin with no lid on it.
Instead of proceeding forwards, first investigate the chamber to the northwest. There is another cat imp waiting in ambush and more niches with bars in front. There are 4 wooden chairs in the room. Looking in the direction of the Grave Glovewort [2], it's pointing towards the only pottery in the whole of this catacomb.
The path forward leads to an empty room, with a faint speck of purple in the distance to the left, but too high to reach. This is the only room so far where there are not bars in front of the wall niches. Stepping into the room triggers the floor to raise up into the spikes. The platform for the floor trap is made of heavy wood floor beams and a central stone column. From the vantage point of the Grave Violet, there are about 10 skeletons impaled in the spikes. It is otherwise a dead end.
Dropping down, there is an underground water filled cistern, where it appears that water is constantly flowing in from some source judging by the downwards slope into the chamber under the floor trap. There's a Ghost Glovewort marking the way forwards towards some Putrid Corpses. However since it's pointing west I first investigate that corner. There are some flat bottomed drain channels that keep the water in this room at a constant level and drain off the excess. This is typical at all 4 corners of this room. There is also a 3rd Grave Violet at the north corner of the chamber.
Now for the Putrid Corpse Chambers of the cistern. Attempt to take notes on positioning became quite difficult among the seemingly endless hoard, which starts with just 3 Putrid Corpses shambling about. Looking in from the entrance (pictured in the post header), the Prattling Pate "Please Help" is found on a corpse on the left beneath a candle on the wall, which was facing east when it fell forwards. The arc of the Grave Glovewort [2] points generally southeast towards the pipe set into the southeast wall. There are downwards pointing bars in the arches of these chambers which aren't quite close enough to graze the head while walking but feel oppressively close to discourage jumping. There is no danger of them descending like the spike trap, from the way that they are set fixed into the stone.
In a dead end alcove to the southwest there is a Corpse looking north with 3 Root Resin within eyesight of a Grave Glovewort [1] (on the right side of the column straight ahead). I did not get a good sense of which direction this one is pointing. 4 Putrid Corpses emerge out of the ground upon reaching this alcove.
The wood ladder to climb out is on the northwest wall. Just before ladder there is a Grave Glovewort [1] pointing east, again towards a drain pipe in the wall. Which seems to support the general thought that water is being directed into these chambers from outside. The vertical streaking on the walls are generally typical of calcium deposits that leach through the walls of buried chambers made of concrete as the groundwater seeps through (I guess in this case, originating from mortar or limestone bricks).
In the end stretch. The chamber is unlit except for a single golden flamed candle held by the statue at the lever and a single white flame candle in one of the niches behind bars. There are 3 wooden coffins in the room. Around the corner is the way out and one more cat imp. A Grave Glovewort [2] seems to have been pointing in the imp's direction.
Looking back, the exit from the one way trip through the deeper chamber was just above the entrance all along. Descending to the boss chamber is a relatively plain entrance.
The boss of this Catacomb is the Erdtree Burial Watchdog 3-headed variant with sword and wearing red cape. There are also 4 ordinary cat-headed imps with forked hatchets. Somewhat uncommon for the sword-carrying Erdtree Burial Watchdog, this one does not have a lit flame on its tail, and the room also appears to be somewhat darker than usual while the boss fight is in progress. The reward for slaying the boss is the Demi-Human Ashes, which summons 5 Demi-Humans. Like in many other catacomb locations, the right side column nearest to the entrance is entwined with vines and skeletons.
However, there is one more observation to keep a look out for after clearing the room. There are two root resins positioned at the back of the chamber. The one on the east has a direct sightline to the rebirth monument and the branch is pointing towards an open wooden casket along the west wall of the room. The one on the west has the rebirth monument blocked by a column and is pointing at a closed wooden casket on the east wall of the room.
The catacomb is located on the east side of the Weeping Peninsula, with a cloud-covered view of the Cathedral of Dragon Communion and Redmane Castle out the front door. The Dragonbarrow Minor Erdtree is hidden behind a large tombstone. Between the door and the site of grace is a substantial amount of greenery growing on the walls.
An examination of the area around the Catacomb could be another post entirely, but I'll end with a few observations. On the pathway leading to the catacombs there are 3 dragonflies of the type that has a striped abdomen resembling a bee. There are 6 eagles perched on and around the Rosus statue on the hill above that looks generally eastward and points the way to the catacombs.
#elden ring#environmental storytelling#I hate swamp zombies so much#this place was memorable because I helped someone fend off an invasion in the pit of constantly respawning zombies#it was pure chaos#the sad thing about the “please help” pate is that it indicates that this is the place where the idea of asking for assistance died out#that's my impression anyways of what it means when any given item is abandoned in the Lands Between
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twitch chats are so exhausting
#discourse#(i guess?)#idk but the amount of times ive seen super invasive questions in a chat#and then the chatter asks it again bc the streamer ignored them#like no stop that what the fuck#or like today!! scott literally had to call someone out to tell them to stop doing some bit about owen's hoodies!#or like the amount of times ive seen people say shit that should have been like. a tumblr post or a message in a discord server with friends#dont say fandom or shippy shit in a streamers chat thats just weird#like its one thing if streamers point out or acknowledge the fandom things (like the sexyman poll) but dont bring it up to them!!#if they wanna poke around in our fandom spaces then fine but dont fucking bring the fandom space to the twitch chat#and also. shifting away from fandom talk but still talking about stream chats#STREAM SNIPING IS SO FUCKING ANNOYING#stop chat hopping jesus christ#anyway both the 'bringing up fandom related things' chatters and stream hopping chatters ruin streams for everyone#not just the streamer#but the viewers too#bc its annoying and honestly uncomfortable#sage speaks
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I mean yeah dude no kidding she’s better when she eats, because that’s how humans work
Dude is in DENIAL and I am just so tired of it. I’m looking forward to talking to grandpa when he calls me so that I can get an update, because… sigh. I just want broad strokes. I mean yes a shitty update is an update but is it really better than no update? Idk.
Our energetic friend happened to call last night and since her mom also died of cancer and also had a brain tumor, it was especially meaningful to have her tell me for the umpteenth time that whatever decision I made re: seeing her is the right one. If someone who adored and cared for her mom in her final days says that… I mean, I KNOW it’s true, but coming from her I believe it.
Idk man. I want my mom to be at peace. I want her to die. She wouldn’t want to be like this.
#I bet she’s going to die while I’m in Nashville#I should text grandpa and see if she’s drinking anything because I think that’ll be a big clue#idk why death is scary#especially in situations like this#like. maybe I have a skewed view on it because I’ve been suicidal multiple times#but regardless of what your brand of spirituality believes happens it has to be better than this#death is an ending. it’s sad for the still-alive people! that’s reasonable!#but for a person who’s not going to get better and has no hope of going back to a fraction of their past self?#for someone who doesn’t respond and sleeps a lot and is already shutting down?#nah. death means you don’t have to struggle anymore#you don’t have to be changed by your partner and be embarrassed that your kids know you’re incontinent#you don’t have people talking down to you#you don’t have everything you talk about questioned or get asked questions like boy do you remember living up in Washington#you don’t have to have uncomfortable topics hidden from you or be talked about while you’re still in the room#you don’t have to have invasive questions asked about you#death—honestly—sounds like a relief after all this#and knowing how FIERCELY and OBNOXIOUSLY independent she was#and how she HATED asking for help#that alone… she would fucking hate this. she DID hate this when she was still able to do things on her own#but now? please just let her die.#like idk man this isn’t a family who believes that any of US are going to hell#everyone who’s religious believes everyone is going to heaven#and those of us who aren’t just want her to be able to have this end#like sorry mom I don’t know if you can be buried in the cemetery with your mom and the baby who died#but if you can’t be then I’ll have you cremated and figure out how to get your ashes spread up there#it’s the next best thing.#I hope you’re not hanging on just for me mom.
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Two things people tend to take extremely personally despite it having nothing to do with them are hearing that someone doesn't want to have kids and that someone is no contact with a family member
#they act like you're personally insulting them somehow it's bizarre and uncomfortable#i wouldn't be bothered by it except this happens to me nearly every time i tell someone over 30 these things#very tired of being berated or interrogated whenever i mention these things offhand or when someone asks me about them#it has nothing to do with you... go mind your own business#esp with the kids one they always think it's an invitation to start asking super invasive questions
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On one of your reblogs a couple weeks ago, you said something about friend/relationships not being transactional and that we need each other and my brain has it on a rotisserie. I often see things as that way and try to keep things even…more in me never needing them, I’ll help anyone, anytime. Do you have any experience with shifting your mindset? This question might be misplaced and in that case, it fine to disregard.
Hello nonny dear.
I understand where you're coming from. There are a lot of reasons that one can keep track of who's done what for whom and making sure it stays "even."
I don't know what your reasons are, so I can only speak to my own experiences and what helped me. I hope that it's helpful to you.
I spent a lot of time having a terrible relationship with myself. Because of this, I was constantly doing whatever I could for the people around me. No favor was too large, no trouble too big, no mountain too high, no river too... you get the idea. But I never, ever asked for anything for myself. The idea of needing someone was abhorrent to me because in my mind I didn't deserve needing anyone's time, respect, or love.
One thing that helped me was to shift my perspective and consider how it would feel if it was a friend of mine who felt this way.
You say that you will help anyone, anytime, and it's no trouble to you. So, if you were someone else and saw yourself in need of help, it wouldn't be any trouble to assist, would it? If a friend of yours was hurting and you later found out that they didn't ask you for help, wouldn't you feel sad that you couldn't be there?
Once I started thinking of it not in terms of asking for myself, but giving my friends a chance to be the kind of friend to me they wanted to be, it got easier.
It also helps to realize that if you think that you're not worthy of being friends with someone, or needing them, then you're actually also placing an unfair judgment on them. You're saying what they should and shouldn't spend their time on, who they should and shouldn't hang out with. You're judging their choice in people. But you love these people, right? So why would you put that judgment on them? Let your friends decide for themselves who is worth their energy. And if they think that's you, then that's on them to decide. Not you to push away.
Don't take that choice from them.
Last year, I lost two friends whom I loved very deeply, shattering my trust in people. I'm still very much in the grieving process.
I say this not for sympathy, but to emphasize to you how much I understand the deep, deep pain that loved ones can bring to us. I do not stand before you as someone who loves or trusts easily (frankly I don't know that I'll ever trust again, but that's what my therapist is for).
Rather, I stand before you as someone who understands that as much as she wants to shut herself off from all others, she can't.
It is terrifying to need people. To need love and companionship. To need assistance. Especially the last few decades we have been taught (in the United States at least, not sure where you're from) independence above all else. To do it all, all on our own. Historically, that is not how we operate. Living alone and cooking all our own meals and doing all our own chores and working full-time is not how it's been for the majority of civilization.
You can't do it all. You just can't.
And needing people means that you might get hurt. It means your trust will be betrayed. It means you're going to screw up the courage to ask for something you need, be it a ride to the airport or respect, and you're going to be denied.
But put simply, you have no choice.
You are going to need to cry to someone, to laugh with someone. You are going to need someone to drive you to the damn airport. Because if you refuse those things, you will be miserable. This is in little ways, like paying out the nose for a taxi or cooking your own meal when you're sick, or in bigger, less tangible ways like depression born from deep, deep loneliness.
And you'll find what happens when you stop keeping score is that a weight is lifted off your shoulders. Because the secret is that it always ends up even. It really does. Because you're going to go through times in your life when you are in the shit and you need all the help you can get. And then you're going to be on top of the world and your friend will be the one in the shit needing all hands on deck to help them. You can't keep it even. You just can't. But if you let go of that, you'll find that really, over time... you're all needing each other equally. Because that's what humans are. That's what community is.
The fact is we're social creatures, nonny. We are made to love.
Look at the oldest signs of civilization. It's not grand palaces. It's not war spears. It's not inventions. It's art. It's people buried with love, and with mended bones, because they broke them and their loved ones made a splint and carried them from place to place and fed them. It's baskets for holding food and gardening supplies and cooking utensils because we learned to cook for each other, to feed each other.
Civilization is community.
A lack of trust, or a lack of self-worth, did not change my need for people. Refusing to eat doesn't mean your body stops needing food. So why starve yourself? And why act as though all food is poisoned or eating enough to satisfy yourself is gluttony?
You wouldn't poison the food. You wouldn't call your friends gluttons. So don't do that to yourself.
Your friends want to help you. The world often tries to prove me wrong but I swear by every speck of boiled blood in my body and every fleck of ash in my black shriveled heart, I know people are inherently good. They want to help. They want to love. They want to take care of you.
Let them. Nonny, please let them.
Remember:
keeping score will only exhaust you
that it's impossible to keep things 100% even, but that all things are fair in the end (in a healthy relationship) because we all have our ups and downs
that if you would help anyone, anytime, then you can't deny others the opportunity to do the same
not to deny your friends their agency and choice by refusing to even ask for things.
Remember that just because you refuse to eat doesn't mean you aren't hungry.
I hope this helped. It will take time to adjust. I recommend writing down some of these reminders and putting them up around your home like on the bathroom mirror and on the fridge. Change their position or put up different phrases every so often so they don't become invisible. The more you say these things, the more you'll believe them, and the easier it'll be to act on them.
I wish you all the best.
#mads answers things#a lot of times I get asks that frankly are more an ask for a therapist#not because it's invasive or anything#but because in order to provide a helpful answer#I would need to know a lot more very personal information#a lot of what will help us in changing our mindsets#is dependent on what we need to unpack in our personal history#and what traumas we need to heal from#so I urge nonny and everyone else to also look into therapy#because a therapist can help you with those particular personal hang-ups#on which I am not qualified to give advice (nor should I as a stranger on the internet)#but as someone who is currently deeply struggling not to regress on years of hard work#because of her recent trauma and grief#I felt I could offer some helpful perspectives#and I hope that I could be of assistance
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You have a key to a haunted house. Do you enter?
Well now this depends on how much time I'm given and whether or not I'm alone. Because if I'm with someone else, I'm much more likely to enter. But also it's not off the table for me to enter if I'm alone.
The other part is just like...if you give me time odds are I'll get curious enough to go inside. I generally try not to disturb things and to always be where I'm supposed to be, so the real fear of a haunted house wouldn't be what's inside (at least not at first) but instead getting in trouble for doing/being somewhere I shouldn't.
But leave me outside a haunted house with a key for long enough...I'll eventually get comfortable and curious enough to open the door. I'd probably take it in steps, though. Test the waters and see if anyone stops me. Just peek inside the door, then just walk through the first room (not touching anything) and then leave. But then I'd go back and go further. And then go further until I'd gone through the whole house. Or gotten so spooked I left and locked it
So the answer to this question isn't a definite yes, but it's also not a definite no. It's a Quil hates being intrusive but loves being curious.
#quil's queries#nonsie#ask game#the other question is whether or not I know the house is haunted. because that would probably impact things#because I always feel out of place existing in unfamiliar spaces#like if i'm in someone's house and they straight up offer me something (water. a snack. anything) I'll be like oh no I can't too invasive#when they literally offer it#so I'd feel like I was being intrusive if I entered the haunted house like dude it's not /my/ house. i gotta be polite
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.
#yknow#every day now i find myself struggling with what (not) to say and whether to speak at all#cause ppl irl and online are SO hypervigilant and (near-)activistic??#like#I keep quiet. i get shit for not saying anything#I say something. it's 'insensitive' or 'wrong' or 'mean' or 'rude' and basically i should first learn before i speak#but i'm even afraid to ask about things these days#because apparently even asking a question can be offensive#but thats only for SPECIFIC people but others you can ask#also mind your language at all times cause if the nuance on a syllable is off#they will hate you with a passion forever#and id love to learn and know more about people#but how can i do that when they're 'not explaining themselves to ms' and it's even rude of me to ask??? how will i know how stuff works???#how will i know how a specific thing or person or whatever works and how can i then better understand it or them??#am i ALLOWED to understand them??? Mostly it's really rude if i ask someone about it bc it's invasive#and yknow boundaries#and hey listen fair enough boundaries are boundaries for sure#but 'I'm not telling you SHIT about any of it you motherfucker. go die' isn't really helping if all i asked was#how some ND thing works in their life or like. what it entails#i'll prob even be flamed for these tags#but honestly i'm kinda done asking. tell me sth ic you think i should know but i don't know if i'll ask someone again
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Never forget, if someone asks you an invasive question, you can always reply by asking them "do you think that's a normal thing to ask people?"
Do it in a super casual and cheery tone, like you were asking about their favourite food.
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i shouldntve taken a medical-related class
#getting flashbacks from yesterday#nereida was with me so you know it was bad lmao#hospitals. ♡ theyre invasive as fuck.#the things id do to tell every doctor thats asked why im mute its none of your concern#unfortunately someone usually answers for me before i can get out a 'that's not why im seeing you today and would appreciate if we could#stay on topic?'
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I've probably told this story on here before but there was a girl I was friends with in college who was dropping some pretty major "egg" hints/vibes in the couple months before she came out as trans that I 100% picked up on. But I was careful never to directly ask her about it or imply I thought she might be trans because I'd bought into the idea that it's incredibly invasive to ask someone about that kind of thing and she just needed space to figure it out for herself.
After she came out we were having a conversation and she told me that she wished I had just point blank asked her if she was trans, that she was kind of fishing for that response when she would describe her experiences that sounded exactly like gender dysphoria without explicitly naming them as such. She'd been too scared/uncertain to call herself trans yet, she wanted another trans person to recognize her so she could feel validated enough to recognize herself as trans.
Since then I've had little patience for people who act like egg jokes (or sincere questioning of suspected eggs), especially from trans people, are offensive or violating people's right to self determination somehow. Even if it's not accurate, it's not offensive to be compared to a trans person. And if it is accurate, it could be exactly what that person needs to hear to give themselves permission to be trans.
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sometimes someone asks for a snail id and you have to make a meme about it
#Emu tries to post#aquatic snails#and then there’s the ones who only have really bad photos#or who insist it’s not a ramshorn because it’s brown and different shaped#that one had an adult orange ramshorn and thought all ramshorns looked like that#and then found a brown leopard juvenile and thought it was a different species#and the one who asked a different group for id help#and got told it was a bladder snail?????????? Idk what the hell happened there#it was a beige trumpet snail absolutely nothing like a bladder in shape or colour#after some discussion we figured it was probably that really tiny invasive trumpet#forget the name but it’s abbreviated similar to MT#since it was too small to be an mt and had the wrong shape even if it was#because mt have a different shape when they’re that small#and then there’s the one who had dwarf ramshorns and thought they must be babies#I’m not trying to make fun I did enjoy helping all these people#but it’s kinda funny when you’ve got a lot of experience with one thing and someone really doesn’t know much#and makes what seem to me the wildest assumptions#a very basic thing to know about ‘pest’ snails#aka all the species that are really good at hitchhiking and quickly breeding#are that they will start breeding while still very small and won’t get that big#the biggest pest snails I have are mt (Malaysian trumpet) and pond snails
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hc that no one on the JL (or any of the teams) will let bats do the heavy lifting, ever
Like one day they need to carry an unconscious Flash after a battle and someone else (who has a broken arm) is like “who is well enough that they can carry him” and Batman, ceo of ignoring his injuries™️, is like “I got this” but his mouth starts leaking blood while he’s carrying flash. Superman (who was holding up a building) x-rays him & is like “YOU HAVE THREE BROKEN RIBS AND INTERNAL BLEEDING. WHY ARE YOU CARRYING FLASH?” “…I am well enough to carry flash”
anyway this applies to all bats. Someone asks if someone else can volunteer to help them lift something and, no matter what, Kon puts his hand over Tim’s mouth bc of the broken leg incident™️. Tim will never even be allowed a chance to make a case or attempt to answer the call.
Someone asks if Robin can help to carry something and Jon immediately replies “no he can’t. I’ll do it tho.” bc Damian once tried to conduct cleanup (lifting pieces of broken buildings and concrete) post alien-invasion with a stab wound (it was multiple stab wounds but only Jon figured that out)
Someone asks nightwing if he can carry stuff to the car and all of a sudden you have eight people shouting “NO” bc he once offered to carry someone’s old 60 pound box TV to storage while he had a gunshot wound. They only learned about the gunshot wound after he fainted & the tv fell on top of him.
Jason leaves before anyone can ask him to help with anything
Edit:
Steph and Cass fight over who carries the thing for the other person, but usually neither of them volunteer. They're gone the second the battle is over. Babs never has to carry shit even if it's a loaf of bread because she goes "wow, really? have the wheelchair bound girl carry shit for you, sure" so the person stammers and she gets away with it every single time.
Duke is allowed to carry things. (Other teams have yet to find out about his injuries.) In fact, they compliment him on being responsible enough to not over-exert himself. He smiles back. (He's trying not to laugh.)
#just to clarify bc i saw some tags ab it:#duke gets away w it BC OF his accelerated healing#sophia rants#batfam#dc#batfamily#batman#jason todd#damian wayne#robin#dick grayson#young justice#timothy drake#batbrothers#batman and robin#nightwing#teen titans#justice league#batbros#superman#red hood#kon el#jonathan kent#robin x superboy#Superboy x robin#tim drake#tim drake wayne#red robin#implied#timkon
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But the other images I had was like a mass refugee camp. So basically at that point in time, two months ago, about 20,000 people had sought refuge both in the hospital and outside the hospital. And these weren’t tents. They’re still not tents. They’re makeshift shelters with bed sheets or plastic bag sheets. The ones outside sleep on the floor. They’re lucky [if] they get a carpet or a mat. There was one bathroom at the time for about 200 people that they have to share. And inside, the hallways of the hospital were also made into shelters. There was hardly any room to walk, and there’s children running around everywhere. It’s important to remember all these people were not homeless. They all had homes that were destroyed. They’re all displaced people that took shelter in the hospital.
So that’s the kind of mass chaos that I encountered initially, and then I was told that every time there’s a bomb, give it about 15 minutes and the mass casualties come. That was the other thing that at the time shocked me: What we’d been seeing livestreamed on Instagram, on social media or whatever, I actually saw myself and it was worse than I can imagine. I saw scenes that were horrific that I’d never witnessed before and I never want to see again. You have a mother walking in holding her 8, 9-year-old, skinny — because they’re all starving — boy who’s dead, he’s cold and dead and [the mother is] screaming, asking for someone to check his pulse and everybody’s busy in the mass chaos. So that was kind of my initial welcoming scene when I entered Khan Younis the first time.
{...}
What I saw — I’m an eye surgeon, an eye plastic surgeon, and so I saw the classic, what I penned “the Gaza shrapnel face,” because in an explosive scenario, you don’t know what’s coming. When there’s an explosion, you don’t go like this [cover your face], you kind of actually, in fact, open your eyes. And so shrapnel’s everywhere. It’s a well-known fact that the Israeli forces are experimenting [with] weapons in Gaza to boost their weapon manufacturing industry. Because if a weapon is battle-tested, it’s more valuable, isn’t it? It’s got a higher value. So basically they’re using these weapons, these missiles that purposely, intently create these large shrapnel fragments that go everywhere. And they cause amputations that are unusual.
Most amputations occur at the weak points, the elbow or the knee, and so they’re better tolerated. But these [shrapnel fragments] are causing mid-thigh, mid-arm amputations that are more difficult, more challenging, and also the rehabilitation afterward is also more challenging. Also these shrapnels [are] unlike a bullet wound. A bullet wound goes in and out; there’s an entry and exit point. Shrapnel stays there. So you gotta take it out. So the injuries I saw were — I mean, I saw people with their eyes blown apart. And when I was there, and this is my experience, I treated all children when I was there the first time. It was kids that [were aged] 2, 6, 9, 10, 13, 15, and 16, and 17 were the ones that I treated. And their eyes unfortunately had to be removed. They had shrapnel in their eye sockets that I had to remove and, of course, remove the eye. There’s many patients, many children who had shrapnel in both their eyes. And you can only do so much because right now, because of the aid blockade and because of the destruction of most of Gaza, there’s no equipment available to take shrapnel that’s in the eye out. And so we just leave them alone and they eventually go blind.
{...}
I was on the ground, I toured the refugee camps, I went around Rafah, I saw, and if there’s an Israeli invasion, I can’t emphasize enough how catastrophic it’s going to be. It’ll be mass killing, mass destruction, because all these figures come in, 50 dead, 100 wounded. But what people don’t realize is, being wounded is a death sentence. Being wounded in this environment with no health care system, completely collapsed, is a death sentence. And the wounded often will lose everybody, like all family members, so they have no supports, especially children, have nobody left to take care of them, not even aunts and uncles. It will be catastrophic. I don’t know what to say to the world to stop an impending invasion. You’ve got to rein this prime minister of Israel in. You got to do something to stop this stupid invasion that he still wants to do, because it’ll be catastrophic.
{...}
I had one young man, about 25 years old, he lost one eye that I took out myself. He spent about five, six, or seven years, basically spent thousands and thousands of dollars in IVF treatment because he got married young and they wanted to have a child and they couldn’t have one. So he spent years on IVF treatment and finally had a baby that was 3 months old. And there was a missile attack by Israel at his home. He lost his entire family, including his baby and his wife and his parents and family. He’s by himself, single guy. I took his one eye out, and he has nobody in this world. He just kind of walks around the tent structures, just kind of walking around with no home and trying to sleep wherever he can.
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the thing about when zionists ask you if "israel has a right to defend itself" is it's no different from someone asking "did you stop beating your wife yet" or the schoolyard bully asking "does your mom know you're gay". to answer yes OR no is to accept a false premise. asking if israel has the right to self defense is like asking if it has the right to time travel or the right to breed unicorns. in all three cases you're being asked about something that doesn't exist
if i break into your house and say it's mine now, and beat you up and lock you in a closet, do i have the right to "defend myself" against you fighting back? the answer is that nothing i do constitutes self-defense by definition. israel is the attacker, it is the invader, it is on the offensive, and anything it does to the palestinian people is part of that offensive. invaders always try to cry self-defense against the resistance to the invasion, but the only party in this situation whose actions can possibly be self-defense is palestine
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