#is dependent on what we need to unpack in our personal history
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On one of your reblogs a couple weeks ago, you said something about friend/relationships not being transactional and that we need each other and my brain has it on a rotisserie. I often see things as that way and try to keep things even…more in me never needing them, I’ll help anyone, anytime. Do you have any experience with shifting your mindset? This question might be misplaced and in that case, it fine to disregard.
Hello nonny dear.
I understand where you're coming from. There are a lot of reasons that one can keep track of who's done what for whom and making sure it stays "even."
I don't know what your reasons are, so I can only speak to my own experiences and what helped me. I hope that it's helpful to you.
I spent a lot of time having a terrible relationship with myself. Because of this, I was constantly doing whatever I could for the people around me. No favor was too large, no trouble too big, no mountain too high, no river too... you get the idea. But I never, ever asked for anything for myself. The idea of needing someone was abhorrent to me because in my mind I didn't deserve needing anyone's time, respect, or love.
One thing that helped me was to shift my perspective and consider how it would feel if it was a friend of mine who felt this way.
You say that you will help anyone, anytime, and it's no trouble to you. So, if you were someone else and saw yourself in need of help, it wouldn't be any trouble to assist, would it? If a friend of yours was hurting and you later found out that they didn't ask you for help, wouldn't you feel sad that you couldn't be there?
Once I started thinking of it not in terms of asking for myself, but giving my friends a chance to be the kind of friend to me they wanted to be, it got easier.
It also helps to realize that if you think that you're not worthy of being friends with someone, or needing them, then you're actually also placing an unfair judgment on them. You're saying what they should and shouldn't spend their time on, who they should and shouldn't hang out with. You're judging their choice in people. But you love these people, right? So why would you put that judgment on them? Let your friends decide for themselves who is worth their energy. And if they think that's you, then that's on them to decide. Not you to push away.
Don't take that choice from them.
Last year, I lost two friends whom I loved very deeply, shattering my trust in people. I'm still very much in the grieving process.
I say this not for sympathy, but to emphasize to you how much I understand the deep, deep pain that loved ones can bring to us. I do not stand before you as someone who loves or trusts easily (frankly I don't know that I'll ever trust again, but that's what my therapist is for).
Rather, I stand before you as someone who understands that as much as she wants to shut herself off from all others, she can't.
It is terrifying to need people. To need love and companionship. To need assistance. Especially the last few decades we have been taught (in the United States at least, not sure where you're from) independence above all else. To do it all, all on our own. Historically, that is not how we operate. Living alone and cooking all our own meals and doing all our own chores and working full-time is not how it's been for the majority of civilization.
You can't do it all. You just can't.
And needing people means that you might get hurt. It means your trust will be betrayed. It means you're going to screw up the courage to ask for something you need, be it a ride to the airport or respect, and you're going to be denied.
But put simply, you have no choice.
You are going to need to cry to someone, to laugh with someone. You are going to need someone to drive you to the damn airport. Because if you refuse those things, you will be miserable. This is in little ways, like paying out the nose for a taxi or cooking your own meal when you're sick, or in bigger, less tangible ways like depression born from deep, deep loneliness.
And you'll find what happens when you stop keeping score is that a weight is lifted off your shoulders. Because the secret is that it always ends up even. It really does. Because you're going to go through times in your life when you are in the shit and you need all the help you can get. And then you're going to be on top of the world and your friend will be the one in the shit needing all hands on deck to help them. You can't keep it even. You just can't. But if you let go of that, you'll find that really, over time... you're all needing each other equally. Because that's what humans are. That's what community is.
The fact is we're social creatures, nonny. We are made to love.
Look at the oldest signs of civilization. It's not grand palaces. It's not war spears. It's not inventions. It's art. It's people buried with love, and with mended bones, because they broke them and their loved ones made a splint and carried them from place to place and fed them. It's baskets for holding food and gardening supplies and cooking utensils because we learned to cook for each other, to feed each other.
Civilization is community.
A lack of trust, or a lack of self-worth, did not change my need for people. Refusing to eat doesn't mean your body stops needing food. So why starve yourself? And why act as though all food is poisoned or eating enough to satisfy yourself is gluttony?
You wouldn't poison the food. You wouldn't call your friends gluttons. So don't do that to yourself.
Your friends want to help you. The world often tries to prove me wrong but I swear by every speck of boiled blood in my body and every fleck of ash in my black shriveled heart, I know people are inherently good. They want to help. They want to love. They want to take care of you.
Let them. Nonny, please let them.
Remember:
keeping score will only exhaust you
that it's impossible to keep things 100% even, but that all things are fair in the end (in a healthy relationship) because we all have our ups and downs
that if you would help anyone, anytime, then you can't deny others the opportunity to do the same
not to deny your friends their agency and choice by refusing to even ask for things.
Remember that just because you refuse to eat doesn't mean you aren't hungry.
I hope this helped. It will take time to adjust. I recommend writing down some of these reminders and putting them up around your home like on the bathroom mirror and on the fridge. Change their position or put up different phrases every so often so they don't become invisible. The more you say these things, the more you'll believe them, and the easier it'll be to act on them.
I wish you all the best.
#mads answers things#a lot of times I get asks that frankly are more an ask for a therapist#not because it's invasive or anything#but because in order to provide a helpful answer#I would need to know a lot more very personal information#a lot of what will help us in changing our mindsets#is dependent on what we need to unpack in our personal history#and what traumas we need to heal from#so I urge nonny and everyone else to also look into therapy#because a therapist can help you with those particular personal hang-ups#on which I am not qualified to give advice (nor should I as a stranger on the internet)#but as someone who is currently deeply struggling not to regress on years of hard work#because of her recent trauma and grief#I felt I could offer some helpful perspectives#and I hope that I could be of assistance
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DEAR DOVE (explodes u in a mircowave) i was reading a nonfiction collection of articles on psychiatry and i was wondering if u liked reading nonfiction urself!
personally i love writing nonfiction the most because its easy to write about the world and argue about things but fiction requires a lot more of u thinking and having to unpack stuff! in fact as a child i rlly enjoyed reading encyclopedias, although i rarely absorbed it proper.
anyways enough of me,, do u have a favourite non fiction topic of interest or whatever!
DEAR LAB (explodes into a massive pile of glitter and confetti, subsequently setting the countertop on fire)
I do read non-fiction! I generally take more to other types of writing, but I did also grow up perusing encyclopedias, magazines, history books, textbooks, etcetera. so I regard it fondly in one way or another. I sometimes enjoy deep-diving for obscure academic papers when I'm in a brunt and want information on a specific subject, though it usually takes more time to digest due to higher-level technical language that I'm not familiar with as a high-schooler. I still find that it's worth it.
it's almost like a game when I hunt for things sometimes because it's interesting to see how obscure of a topic I can find: I start at something relatively basic and end up at papers specific enough that I'm not even sure how they exist (but I'm grateful). A recent example of this is a paper I found called "Exploring post-irony through narratives of love and suffering in VRChat" and, well, it's exactly what the titles says it is. I've yet to finish reading it, but I went crazy the moment I even saw that somebody would write such a deep article on a Steam VR game where people with 3D anime girl avatars go to scream at each other.
I occasionally dabble in reading self-help, but I interact with academic non-fiction the most.
I'm not sure if I can say I have a particular topic of interest, though in recent times I've been occasionally reading papers on cultural norms, traditions, historical evolutions and differences, and I have taken a liking to it. I also started (and need to continue) reading up on philosophy, death, mourning and other similar concepts (and especially how we as humans have interacted with death across time and space). It's not even just non-fiction, one of the recent books I picked up is a poetry collection about death from a local writer. This is something I made myself do due to two projects I have that both follow death as relevant themes: I wanted to make sure I can cover it in a way that goes beyond the surface level. I don't know if I can call this a Favourite Topic Of Interest, though, because it's actually quite an upsetting and suffocating thing to read about, at least for me, but I know I have to do it. Maybe this is exposure therapy of some sort.
And I like journalism! Before my English exam I actually forced myself to read a lot of British journalists just to pick up new language and get more used to Their Way of writing, since we study British English and therefore have to utilise it during exams (yuck). But it was fun, and I appreciate how certain journalists and researchers have a very fascinating way with words that almost feels narrative.
Regarding actually writing it, it's fun in its own way. I used to do it back when I was doing debate and had to write notes, reports, speeches and case files. It required me to read anything from entry-level articles on Google to more advanced papers and official government documents depending on the motion. It was fun compiling and sourcing all of that information! And it was fun gaining new knowledge. Nowadays a chunk of my classmates rely on me to guide them in writing non-fiction for our classes because they deem me to be good at it and think I have a solid vocabulary, so maybe it paid off a bit.
But ultimately, I'll always lean towards creative forms of writing. I can't sustain writing non-fiction for too long without feeling like my brain is shriveling up into a raisin.
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Nature Interpretation Through History
Blog 6: Unpack this quote:
There is no peculiar merit in ancient things, but there is merit in integrity, and integrity entails the keeping together of the parts of any whole, and if these parts are scattered throughout time, then the maintenance of integrity entails a knowledge, a memory, of ancient things... To think, feel or act as though the past is done with, is equivalent to believing that a railway station through which our train has just passed, only existed for as long as our train was in it. (Edward Hyams, Chapter 7, The Gifts of Interpretation)
When I first read this quote, I immediately connected the first sentence, “There is no peculiar merit in ancient things”to the quote from Courselink that states, “History makes spaces meaningful.” I believe this part of the quote is explaining that the objects we tend to interpret do not hold much value without the story surrounding it. It is the story rather than the object that puts meaning behind the item. In my eyes it is an interpreter’s task to help keep the history alive by sharing it with visitors. A rock is just a rock. It is the story which makes it meaningful. What it represents is meaningful. Us humans decide what is meaningful.
It is often the interpreter who is tasked with passing on the story surrounding historical places and artifacts. “Historical interpretation grounded in individual histories facilitates connection between lived experiences and archival records or artefacts (Modern Cartography Series, 2019).” Therefore, we are the ones play a key role in what messages passed on to future generations. The quote also mentions that “there is merit in integrity, and integrity entails the keeping together of the parts of any whole, and if these parts are scattered throughout time, then the maintenance of integrity entails a knowledge, a memory, of ancient things.” This explains that merit is dependent on how these historical objects are interpreted. There needs to be a certain level of integrity to ensure the continuation of the proper story and messages. I always think of playing the game broken telephone as a child. Have you ever played broken telephone? It’s a game where one person thinks of a phrase and whispers it to the next player’s ear (only one time). The listener then tried to repeat the phrase into the next person, and this continues until the phrase reaches the final person. The final person then repeats the phrase out loud and when they do so, it is often very different then the starting phrase. The breakdown in communication seemed to occur so fast and so easily. This game illustrates how easily stories can change over time should interpreters not take the correct steps to pass on the message. This relates to the need for the involvement of people with lived experiences. To allow them to share their perspective and experiences is to breakdown the bias (however unintentional it may be) which often comes with interpretation. To involve people with lived experiences is to involve direct sources that are much more effective. Unfortunately, these humans with lived experiences only have their lifetime to pass on their stories. This can prove to be difficult as to pass on their stories, they require a second party that is capable of listening without bias as well as relaying the exact story.
The second half of the quote is just as important as the first. This half allows for readers to visualize the concept which is being explained in the first half. It also elaborates and adds onto the lesson by explaining that without storytelling and interpretation, history will fade as time carries on. It will be just a moment in time. This can be detrimental as our history and stories help us understand others on a deeper level. History can allow for an increase in understanding of why things are the way they are.
After this analysis, I believe the message of the quote is that without storytelling, cultural practices, history, and languages can be lost into time. It is so important that we learn from the past as well as our history so that mistakes do not repeat themselves.
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Interpretation Through a Historical Lens
There is no peculiar merit in ancient things, but there is merit in integrity, and integrity entails the keeping together of the parts of any whole, and if these parts are scattered throughout time, then the maintenance of integrity entails a knowledge, a memory, of ancient things. …. To think, feel or act as though the past is done with, is equivalent to believing that a railway station through which our train has just passed, only existed for as long as our train was in it.
- Edward Hyams, Chapter 7, The Gifts of Interpretation
This quote is an example of interpretive writing. Edward Hyams relates to the life of the reader and gives insight into the importance of history, thus motivating the reader to care about the topic.
This quote can be interpreted differently depending on the view of the individual reading it. I will unpack this quote through a historical lens. The overall meaning of this quote is that history should not be ignored. People that “think, feel or act” as though the past is over and see history as irrelevant must understand the value of viewing the complete picture of our past (Edward Hyams, Chapter 7, The Gifts of Interpretation). Considering history encourages a better understanding of the challenges that are present today (Beck et al., 2018). Interpreters play a key role in the education of these individuals. Often interpreters tell engaging stories to open the audience's eyes to how history relates to their lives (Beck et al., 2018). The result of such programs is citizens with new perspectives about themselves and their community (Beck et al., 2018). These programs inspire individuals to take action on current issues in the world and also be inspired to live up to the success and innovation of the past (Beck et al., 2018).
The following quote discusses how history can shape these new perspectives:
“We need the past for our sense of who we are. We need the past for a sense of our civic responsibility, how all these benefits and freedoms came to us, and what it is our duty to protect.”
- David McCullough (Beck et al., 2018)
A difficulty in historical interpretation is accuracy and authenticity. Recently I went to an interpretive presentation at the Eldon House in London, Ontario. This house is the oldest in London as it was built in 1834 and still stands. The Eldon House was home to generations of mostly related families. During this interpretive presentation, I learned in detail what living in London was like during this time and compared that to how I live today. The interpreter went through each room and discussed the room's significance, what activities were done there, how the residents lived and talked about specific artifacts in the rooms. As the textbook discussed, historical interpretive programs can't be 100% accurate and authentic. However, the key to being as authentic as possible is to admit when certain aspects of the presentation are not entirely accurate (Beck et al., 2018). The interpreter in this program did exactly that. The interpreter had no problem discussing the changes that had to be made to the house so it was accessible to the public and often discussed some aspects of the house that they could not keep entirely authentic. After going through the rooms, I understood how different people's lives were back in the late 1800s. For example, although I knew how common slavery was at the time, after seeing the house and learning from the interpreter, I had a new understanding of the topic.
With this first-hand experience of historical interpretation, I saw many interpretive methods being used, all proven effective. After leaving the Eldon House, I had a new personal understanding and perspective of the past.
From this experience and this week's content, I have learned that with the help of interpreters, the history a place holds can be shared with the public allowing them to learn and gain new perspectives to build a better future.
References
Beck, L., Cable, T. T., Knudson, D. M. (2018). Interpreting cultural and natural heritage for a better world. Sagamore Venture.
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Hey, question. I briefly thought about this, but would it be rude if you were to rewrite a fic but change the pronouns in it?(With proper credit ofc)
Just, there are so many good fics I've started reading that i actually started to enjoy, only to get hit with feminine pronouns/pet names out of nowhere and it's honestly frustrating(ESPECIALLY in exo/terato fics)
So yeah, i just want to make fics more enjoyable for me/gender neutral(?) People
Short answer: Honestly? My take, not anyone else's, is check with the original writer if they are okay with that. Some may be fine with it, others may not. I think doing it without permission/consent is rude, even if you provide proper credit. If you have permission/consent from the original creator, it's fine.
Ultimately, the only person who can cater to your specific experience is you. Just because a writing doesn't not suit you that does not mean there wasn't a reason it was written that way in the first place.
Long unpacked answer:
1 - Not everyone wants their work reproduced elsewhere by someone else (I don't, for example), and that should be respected, both from a 'show respect to the writer's wishes' perspective but also a legal one with copyright.
Fanfiction or writing a story inspired by something else is one thing, but you are talking about directly taking and reproducing someone else's writing. That's already thorny, even if you have a good reason and provide credit to the original, in the same way that for example, I don't know, reposting someone else's gif with the words translated into a different language is thorny.
There are good reasons for doing it, but in that scenario you wouldn't have put the considerable effort into making the gif, but would still likely be benefiting from the notes/feedback instead of the original creator. Credit helps because people who are inclined to do so can find the original, but not everyone is going to bother to click that link, so it doesn't completely negate the issue.
2 - You don't necessarily know the thought process behind the characters, which may impact on if the writer says yes or no if you ask their permission, an influences the story.
For example, this tumblr of mine doesn't focus on in-depth character creation, because ultimately they are quick snippets that I post on the internet that are designed for people to get into the story as swiftly as possible for a splash of short term gratification. This means that the gender/pronouns could usually swing either way from gender neutral if it ever needed to, because I don't usually put enough specific detail into the characters in the first place. Nothing I therefore write on tumblr (or even Patreon to a certain extent) is me doing character creation/story writing in the way I do it for my novels, AKA from the start and with a detailed plan, leading to...
The point is that when someone is doing full on character creation, often gender is part of the character or the story. The way we present ourselves does shape our experiences and the stories that we tell. People treat men and women differently in both our contemporary world and in a lot of fictional universes, and outside the story the background of representation the character's identity brings to the story can shift how the reader engages with what is happening. Your ask exemplifies that, because you react differently to feminine presenting characters.
Changing the pronouns/gender does therefore reasonably change the character, and their experiences, in a work with more specific/detailed characters. Mean Girls with a male set of plastics? Different story. The commentary behind the characters crumble if they're not women because it is dealing with something very specifically feminine. Women also have a specific history with monstrosity, which impacts engagement with this particular topic. Which leads to...depending on the story, sometimes a character is a specific gender for a reason. This may be a personal reason to the writer because they are writing based on their experiences/desires, or it may be part of the structural set up/themes that the story is trying to tackle.
This ultimately means that pronouns cannot necessarily be changed in a vacuum, without impacting other parts of the story or character construction. I know the genderbend rule is famous on the internet, so I'm not saying its impossible, but there are elements to consider when adapting anything and changing the pronoun is a form of adapting the original. Which is why I would say that you need to get the original writer's permission, and why I would consider it rude to go and change someone's story without their consent.
I appreciate that you have a good reason for wanting to change the pronouns, but ultimately it is not your story so it does come down to the author's permission.
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So I know I have an awful and annoying tendency in all facets of my life to over-complicate things, overthink things, and generally try to reinvent the wheel no matter how unwarranted it may be. Of course this spills over into my attempts at translation.
I’m often finding myself stuck in the “well, this is what has generally been accepted by everyone now, so trying to change it is going to be pushing a stone uphill forever.” And then in the same breath “but this doesn’t at all capture what’s being said. and also someone on the internet is wrong!” Which is, of course, a futile venture. It also, once I give myself a moment to think things through instead of just impulsively word-vomiting everywhere, probably makes come across like I just want to be a contrary asshole. (And then I get so embarrassed I want to fling myself into the sun)
In this day and age, I think we’re all discovering how subjective ever single little word choice can be and how quickly it can make people want to tear everything you say apart. (We judge ourselves by our intentions, others by their actions, yada, yada, yada...)
And here I am perpetuating the cycle ^_^; Because! There are some words and phrases that I have some Feelings and Opinions about.
Like the term “Burial Mounds.” It’s written as 乱葬岗 (luàn zàng gǎng) can more technically be defined as just a mass grave. Or even unmarked grave. It definitely implies mass casualties, as opposed to just a single body in an unknown grave. BUT here’s where some history comes into play. Yílíng is a real place with real history attached to it. The Battle of Yílíng took place early in China’s Three Kingdoms period and certainly quite a lot of people died there. But here’s an interesting bit. 岗 by itself means a mound or hillock. So, to better explain this sort of burial, here’s a photo as an example from Wikipedia of the grave for Emperor Jing of Han (188 BC – 9 March 141 BC)
So, for graves like this, calling it a burial mound in English is not wrong. It’s clearly what it is. So I know it doesn’t need to be changed. BUT, in my opinion we also have a cooler word for it in English. A barrow. (Any LoTR fans out there? Or Malazan fans?) So! In regards to MDZS, I’ve taken to calling this awesome location the Yílíng Barrows. Or just The Barrows.
Now let’s get into some other things! Like naming conventions vs titles vs generally adopted phrases. I’m going to use this bit about WWX’s parents as an example:
Wèi Wúxiàn was the son of Wèi Chǎngzé, a House servant for the Jiāng Sect of Yúnmèng, and the wandering Taoist Cángsè-sànrén.
I’ve already made a post about House servant (家仆) and how myrmidon can GTFO. But allow me to walk you through how I came to describe WWX’s mother. Now, first I would like to say I have never loved the phrase “rogue cultivator” because “rogue” in English tends to have negative connotations. Like “going rogue” or “rogue element” are not considered particularly positive phrases to say about someone. While, in truth, it’s more meant to convey that a cultivator is just unaffiliated. Now, depending on the character, others may have Opinions about that, but it’s more of a neutral word. But here’s where I really want to nitpick. What’s usually defined as a “rogue cultivator” is 散修. The first character more literally means “loose/scattered” aka just not tied down or bound to any particular sect. Unaffiliated. The second character is the word used for cultivator.
However, 散修 is not the exact phrase used for Cángsè. She is written as 云游道人藏色散人. Lots to unpack here! 云游 (yúnyóu) literally means “drifting/wandering cloud” and is a term used to describe a wanderer. Moreover, it’s generally used specifically to describe a wandering Taoist priest or Buddhist monk. 道人 (dàoren) is just a term used to describe a Taoist priest. Like 道长 (dàozháng). 藏色 is just her name. Then we get to 散人. Recognize that first character? Yup! It’s the same first character that’s seen in the above “rogue cultivator.” So it’s not a name at all. It’s a title! It basically means that she is a person without any affiliation. Since it’s really more a form of address than a Title the way something like Hánguāng-Jūn is, I’m electing to make it lower case. It is also possible, as we learn her master Bàoshān-sànrén finds her apprentices by taking in orphans and abandoned children, that Cángsè never knew her own surname and truly has no connection to anything.
Bàoshān-sànrén herself is more a myth than a person to most of the world. Her entire name is more an explanation than a name. I don’t have any specific posts on hand, but there have been plenty that have pointed out that Bàoshān (抱山) means to embrace the mountain. And it’s again more how people described what she did than what her name may have been. Because no one actually knows!
But one master, however, chose to withdraw into seclusion and went into the mountains. That was the Taoist Bàoshān. As to which mountain she embraced, there was no one who knew for certain.
Yup, same characters are used to describe who she was and what she did. Basically saying she was the Taoist that gave herself fully to the mountain and to being a hermit.
Thanks for sticking with this post!
I know thematically I was a kinda all over the place. And I don’t expect any of my translation preferences and changes to catch on! But I just get so excited and like over-explaining my thought process and I need to let it out somewhere.
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humaniterations (dot) net/2014/10/13/an-anarchist-perspective-on-the-red-lotus/ this article from oct 2014 is very dense — truly, a lot to unpack here, but I feel like you would find this piece interesting. I would love it if you shared your thoughts on the points that stood out to you, whether you agree or disagree. you obv don’t have to respond to it tho, but I’m sending it as an ask jic you feel like penning (and sharing) a magnificent essay, as is your wont 💕
article
i know this took me forever 2 answer SORRY but i just checked off all the things on my to do list for the first time in days today so. Essay incoming ladies!
ok im SO glad u sent me this bc it’s so so good. it’s a genuinely thoughtful criticism of the politics in legend of korra (altho i think its sometimes a little mean to korra unnecessarily like there’s no reason to call her a “petulant brat” or say that she throws tantrums but i do understand their point about her being an immature and reactionary hero, which i’ll get back to) and i think the author has a good balance between acknowledging like Yeah the lok writers were american liberals and wrote their show accordingly and Also writing a thorough analysis of lok’s politics that felt relevant and interesting without throwing their hands up and saying this is all useless liberal bullshit (which i will admit that i tend to do).
this article essentially argues that the red lotus antagonists of s3 were right. And that’s not an uncommon opinion i think but this gives it serious weight. Like, everything that zaheer’s gang did was, in context, fully understandable. of course the red lotus would be invested in making sure that the physically and spiritually and politically most powerful person in the world ISNT raised by world leaders and a secret society of elites that’s completely unaccountable to the people! of course the red lotus wants to bring down tyrannical governments and allow communities to form and self govern organically! and the writers dismiss all of that out of hand by 1. consistently framing the red lotus as insane and murderous (korra never actually gives zaheer’s ideas a chance or truly considers integrating them into her own approach) 2. representing the death of the earth queen as not just something that’s not necessarily popular (what was with mako’s bootlicker grandma, i’d love to know) but as something that causes unbelievable violence and chaos in ba sing se (which, like, a lot of history and research will tell you that people in disasters tend towards prosocial behaviors). so the way the story frames each of these characters and ideologies is fascinating because like. if you wanted to write season 3 of legend of korra with zaheer as the protagonist and korra as the antagonist, you wouldn’t actually have to change the sequence of events at all, really. these writers in particular and liberal writers in general LOVE writing morally-gray-but-ultimately-sympathetic characters (like, almost EVERY SINGLE fire nation character in the first series, who were full on violent colonizers but all to a degree were rehabilitated in the eyes of the viewer) but instead of framing the red lotus as good people who are devoted to justice and freedom and sometimes behave cruelly to get where theyre trying to go, they frame them as psychopaths and murderers who have good intentions don’t really understand how to make the world a better place.
and the interesting thing about all this, about the fact that the red lotus acted in most cases exactly as it should have in context and the only reason its relegated to villain status is bc the show is written by liberals, is that the red lotus actually points out really glaring sociopolitical issues in universe! like, watching the show, u think well why the fuck HASN’T korra done anything about the earth queen oppressing her subjects? why DOESN’T korra do anything about the worse than useless republic president? why the hell are so many people living in poverty while our mains live cushy well fed lives? how come earth kingdom land only seems to belong to various monarchs and settler colonists, instead of the people who are actually indigenous to it? the show does not want to answer these questions, because american liberal capitalism literally survives on the reality of oppressive governments and worse than useless presidents and people living in poverty while the middle/upper class eats and indigenous land being stolen. if the show were to answer these questions honestly, the answer would be that the status quo in real life (and the one on the show that mirrors real life) Has To Change.
So they avoid answering these questions honestly in order for the thesis statement to be that the status quo is good. and the only way for the show to escape answering these questions is for them to individualize all these broad social problems down into Good people and Bad people. so while we have obvious bad ones like the earth queen we also have all these capitalists and monarchs and politicians who are actually very nice and lovely people who would never hurt anyone! which is just such an absurd take and it’s liberal propaganda at its best. holding a position of incredible political/economic power in an unjust society is inherently unethical and maintaining that position of power requires violence against the people you have power over. which is literally social justice 101. but there’s literally no normal, average, not-politically-powerful person on the show. so when leftist anarchism is presented and says that destroying systems that enforce extreme power differentials is the only way to bring peace and freedom to all, the show has already set us up to think, hey, fuck you, top cop lin beifong and ford motor ceo asami sato are good people and good people like them exist! and all we have to do to move forward and progress as a society is to make sure we have enough good individuals in enough powerful positions (like zuko as the fire lord ending the war, or wu as the earth king ending the monarchy)! which is of course complete fiction. liberal reform doesn’t work. but by pretending that it could work by saying that the SYSTEM isnt rotten it’s just that the people running it suck and we just need to replace those people, it automatically delegitimizes any radical movements that actually seek to change things.
and that’s the most interesting thing about this article to me is that it posits that the avatar...might actually be a negative presence in the world. the avatar is the exact same thing: it’s a position of immense political and physical power bestowed completely randomly, and depending on the moral character and various actions of who fills that position at any given time, millions of people will or won’t suffer. like kyoshi, who created the fascist dai li, like roku, who refused to remove a genocidal dictator from power, like aang, who facilitated the establishment of a settler colonial state on earth kingdom land. like korra! she’s an incredibly immature avatar and a generally reactionary lead. i’ve talked about this at length before but she never actually gets in touch with the needs of the people. she’s constantly running in elite circles, exposed only to the needs and squabbles of the upper class! how the hell is she supposed to understand the complexities of oppression and privilege when she was raised by a chess club with inordinate amounts of power and associates almost exclusively with politicians and billionaires?? from day 1 we see that she tends to see things in very black and white ways which is FINE if you’re a privileged 17 yr old girl seeing the world for the first time but NOT FINE if you’re the single most powerful person in the world! Yeah, korra thinks the world is probably mostly fine and just needs a little whipping into shape every couple years, because all she has ever known is a mostly fine world! in s1 when mako mentions that he as a homeless impoverished teenager worked for a gang (which is. Not weird. Impoverished people of every background are ALWAYS more likely to resort to socially unacceptable ways of making money) korra is like “you guys are criminals?????!!!!!” she was raised in perfect luxury by a conservative institution and just never developed beyond that. So sure, if the red lotus raised her anarchist, probably a lot would’ve been different/better, but....they didn’t. and korra ended up being a reactionary and conservative avatar who protected monarchs and colonialist politicians. The avatar as a position is completely subject to the whims of whoever is currently the avatar. and not only does that suck for everyone who is not the avatar, not only is it totally unfair to whatever kid who grows up knowing the fate of the world is squarely on their shoulders, but it as a concept is a highly individualist product of the authors’ own western liberal ideas of progress! the idea that one good leader can fix the world (or should even try) based on their own inherent superiority to everyone else is unbelievably flawed and ignores the fact that all real progress is brought about as a result of COMMUNITY work, as a result of normal people working for themselves and their neighbors!
the broader analysis of bending was really interesting to me too, but im honestly not sure i Totally agree with it. the article pretty much accepts the show’s assertion that bending is a privilege (and frankly backs it up much better than the original show did, but whatever), and i don’t think that’s NECESSARILY untrue since it is, like, a physical advantage (the author compares it to, for example, the fact that some people are born athletically gifted and others are born with extreme physical limitations), but i DO think that it discounts the in universe racialization of bending. in any sequel to atla that made sense, bending as a race making fact would have been explored ALONGSIDE the physical advantages it bestows on people. colonialism and its aftermath is generally ignored in this article which is its major weakness i think, especially in conjunction with bending. you can bring up the ideas the author did about individual vs community oriented progress in the avatar universe while safely ignoring the colonialism, but you can’t not bring up race and colonialism when you discuss bending. especially once you get to thinking about how water/earth/airbenders were imprisoned and killed specifically because bending was a physical advantage, and that physical advantage was something that would have given colonized populations a means of resistance and that the fire nation wanted to keep to itself.
i think that’s the best lens thru which to analyze bending tbh! like in the avatar universe bending is a tool that different ethnic groups tend to use in different ways. at its best, bending actually doesn’t represent social power differences (despite representing a physical power difference) because it’s used to represent/maintain community solidarity. like, take the water tribe. katara being the last waterbender, in some way, makes her the last of a part of swt CULTURE. the implication is that when there were a lot of waterbenders in the south, they dedicated their talents to building community and helping their neighbors, because this was something incredibly culturally important and important to the water tribe as a community. the swt as a COLLECTIVE values bending for what it can do for the entire tribe, which counts for basically every other talent a person can have (strength, creativity, etc). the fire nation, by contrast, distorts the community value of bending by racializing it: anyone who bends an element that isn’t fire is inherently NOT fire nation (and therefore inherently inferior) and, because of the physical power that bending confers, anyone who bends an element that isn’t fire is a threat to fire nation hegemony. and in THAT framework of bending, it’s something that intrinsically assigns worth and reifies race in a way that’s conveniently beneficial to the oppressor.
it IS worth talking about how using Element as a way to categorize people reifies nations, borders, and race in a way that is VERY characteristic of white american liberals. i tried to be conscious of that (and the way that elements/bending can act in DIFFERENT ways, depending on cultural context) but i think it’s pretty clear that the writers did intend for element to unequivocally signify nation (and, by extension, race), which is part of why they screwed up mixed families so bad in lok. when they’ve locked themselves into this idea that element=nation=race, they end up with sets of siblings like mako and bolin or kya tenzin and bumi, who all “take” after only one parent based on the element that they bend. which is just completely stupid but very indicative of how the writers actually INTENDED element/bending to be a race making process. and its both fucked up and interesting that the writers display the same framework of race analysis that the canonical antagonists of atla do.
anyway that’s a few thoughts! thank u again for sending the article i really loved it and i had a lot of fun writing this <3
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More to keep you distracted! What's your opinion on the idea that Azula needs to hit rock bottom before she can recover?
Haha, went to sleep before I got this one. But thanks for indulging me ^^
There’s lot to unpack here, so this will be long.
So. It sort of depends on what is meant by “rock bottom.” If people mean she needs to suffer more, experience more punishment or trauma or mental illness, then...I think that is a dangerous notion to be telling anyone, especially those with a trauma history or mental illness. I don’t think suffering is a requirement for growth or change, nor do I think suffering somehow inherently begets growth. There are plenty of people for whom suffering and trauma only made them bitter, angry, and deeply unhappy. I think, more than anything, it is love, support, and hope that promotes change- not suffering.
I’m going to briefly use the example of my brother, who was diagnosed with bipolar disorder last year. His depression made him angry. He became a very nasty, toxic person when he was deeply depressed. He was suffering, but it didn’t make him better. It didn’t make him a nicer person and it certainly didn’t make him open to changing himself- in fact, in his lowest states, he was least open to getting help and he was at his absolute meanest because of it. He became stubborn and rigidly convinced that nothing could help him, that things would never get better, and he verbally attacked anyone who tried. I was on the receiving end of this a lot, I felt like a punching bag more than a sister some days. But he was finally diagnosed after years and years of me and my parents begging him to see a psychiatrist, who put him on a proper medication. That was when he began to improve. He has begun changing and healing because he got help, because he got the kind of medical support he needed, not from suffering through debilitating depressive episodes. I have my brother back now, I can talk to him without getting my head bitten off, he is in a much better place and finally seems hopeful for his future, and our relationship is much better than it was a year ago.
Now, there is such a thing as post-traumatic growth, because some people do find meaning in suffering and use that to facilitate their own growth and development. But in order to utilize post-traumatic growth, someone has to already be quite resilient, and these are people that typically come from healthy backgrounds who have secure attachments. Spirituality is also associated with post-traumatic growth. And that’s fine, I am hardly about to tell someone “no actually, please don’t find anything positive in a terrible thing that happened to you.” That would be pretty shitty of me. But post-traumatic growth is probably not the norm and under no circumstances should we be shaming people whose trauma does not lead them to positive change, and nor should we act like trauma and suffering are necessary for it. That’s just not the reality.
There are some things I do think are required for Azula to heal and grow, however. One of them is remorse, and maybe this is what people mean by “rock bottom.” Maybe they mean she needs to hit a certain point in terms of her world view deconstructing in order to experience true remorse. And though I wouldn’t word it that way, I wouldn’t call it “rock bottom”- I do think Azula needs to understand why the war was wrong and harmful and I do think she needs to unlearn the toxic doctrines of the Fire Nation (and her family) in order to fully heal. I don’t think this is the first step in her recovery process, but I do think it’s an important one. And it may be a difficult process, but feeling remorse for one’s actions does not have to mean consistently beating oneself up or wallowing in shame and guilt for eternity (I think sometimes people assume that’s the case...). There’s a healthy version of this in which Azula can realize the ways in which she was used by her father as a tool of war, acknowledge her role in it and her role in other peoples’ suffering, and work to make amends while also improving herself as a person and healing from her own trauma. Not necessarily in that order.
There’s a lot she needs to unpack personally too, and for her to finally, consciously acknowledge that Ozai never loved her is likely to be incredibly painful, but I think that’s an important part of the process too. That’s an illusion that a lot of abused kids cling to- that the abuser was right, that the abuser loves them, that it’s all okay, that they deserve the abuse- because they need to try to preserve that sense of attachment to their caregiver. It’s a protective process. (You see this in Zuko too, for a time). But when the illusion breaks, and it usually does (side note- don’t force this process, you risk re-traumatizing the individual), it can be devastating. It’s a huge blow to the defenses that the victim has constructed. For a child, this is especially horrible. A parent is supposed to love and protect you, and when you realize they don’t...I mean...it’s an awful pain.
There’s a child I worked with when I did a year-long training in a foster care agency that I sometimes hold in mind when I think of Azula. It’s not a direct comparison, and certainly Azula isn’t a real person and this child is, so bear that in mind, but there are some similarities. I cannot give details on this, but I can say this: he was much younger, but still very aggressive and could be violent, and he had so many emotional and behavioral problems. He also had an extensive history of abuse and abandonment. It was hard to read his file. Yet when I worked with him- and all I was doing was the psych eval, not even therapy- this child became so attached to me because I showed him empathy and support. And he said something to me I’ll never forget, which I won’t quote directly, but it was along the lines of wishing his parents cared for him like I did.
And I’d met with him twice.
So I would hope that if and when Azula has this same revelation, that her father does not and did not love her, she has some support in her life to help her through that. Perhaps that is what is meant by “rock bottom.” In which case...maybe, yes, it is necessary for her to go through this painful process in order to heal.
But if by “rock bottom” people mean punishing her more, throwing her in prison, making her suffer some kind of retribution, that she should have to sink further into depression or mental illness before she is allowed to heal...no. I don’t think that’s necessary at all. People in the ATLA world would want to see justice for the war, and I understand that, but inflicting punishment on a fourteen-year-old in the hope that it makes her a better person is not justice.
#abuse cw#this is a bit of a minefield of discussion topics haha so I'm trying to pull in as much of my expertise as possible for a tumblr post...#healing from abuse is a long and complicated journey#it's also an individual one#so every person who has been abused will have a different process by which they heal#atla#eshusplayground
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New girl (Twilight au Witch x Edward)
WARNING: this will be crap but I like writing so let me know what you think and Thank you!
I hope you enjoy it!
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Walking into the damp forest was relaxing to me, I hugged my hoodie closer to me as a gust of wind blew past me, sending chills down my spine.
“A little chilly isn't it?” I remarked to myself as I continued to walk in the forest from my house. I listened to the birds sing as I stepped over roots and hopped over a little stream before I stepped onto the gravel. Glancing around I was confused to see that I was in front of someone's house, it was a couple of stories high with glass and wood covering the sides, in front of the house were a couple of fancy cars. Oops, I went farther than I intended, I pondered to myself as I turned around and walked back home, humming along the way.
Once I stepped through the door I could hear my dad doing something in the kitchen, so I crept closer to the doorway and peeked in to see him placing a black pan of something on the counter with smoke coming off it. “Not go as planned?” I asked, wandering over to inspect the damage. Did it look like some kind of meatloaf? My dad laughed as he turned to open a window to let the smoke out.
“No, it didn't. How about I order some pizza?” He grabbed his phone and started looking up pizza places near us. Got to love my dad when there is nothing to make pizza will always be the answer, not that I would complain of course. “Sure! Pepperoni please.” I picked up the pan with an oven mitten and dumped it in the trash. “And I won't ask what this dish was ok?” I joked, putting it in the sink for later. He just laughed and started calling around.
I walked past him to go to my room upstairs to unpack more of my things, listening to music as I do. Once I was unpacked I glanced around my new room and then grabbed my sketchbook I had thrown on my bed while I unpacked and went to the window seat I had in my room. It was one of the reasons my dad chose this house, that and how deep into the forest it was. We liked our privacy. Flipping to a new page I started to draw the view outside my window. Drawing always seemed to calm me down or relax me. Soon I finished that drawing and then started to draw the house I walked to.
Just as I was finishing it my dad hollered up the stairs that the pizza was here. “Yay!” I giggled, hopping up from the window seat. I go to the kitchen to see my dad setting the plates on the tables for us. “Thanks, Dad,” I said, munching down on a slice before putting it on my plate with another slice.
He just laughed at me and got a couple himself. “Walk anywhere fun?” The house I saw popped in my head but then I shook my head, going back to eating my pizza. “No.” His eyebrows went up but then he dropped the subject. “Ok, then are you excited about starting school tomorrow?” That made me smile. “Yeah, actually but it seems that a girl named Isabella Swan is starting school tomorrow as well. I heard some of the people talking about her at the gas station. She’s the sheriff's daughter.” I said, as I ate the last of my pizza and went for another.
We ate with jokes about the move and after I washed the dishes, I went back up to my room and played some music as I doodled on a page. Wasn’t long before I headed to bed and woke up to my alarm blazing from my phone. After shutting it off and getting ready for the day I came downstairs to grab something to eat before heading to school. I wasn’t surprised to see my dad already making breakfast before his day starts. “Hey, kiddo.” He said as I came into the kitchen to see him putting some scrambled eggs on two plates.
“Hey, I can at least make some easy eggs.” He joked putting one of the plates on one side as I got the juice and poured us some. As I put them down we sat and ate. When we finished the plates went in the sink and I grabbed my keys and hugged my dad before driving to school.
I played some music as I drove, as soon as I got to the school a group of people was around a brown-haired girl who looked a little uncomfortable with the attention. That must be Isabell Swan. I hopped out of my car and easily walked around them as they fussed over her. Getting my schedule and directions to my classes was easy enough. I was a little late to my first class but that was because I got a little turnaround.
Once I knew I was at the right door, I knocked and opened it to see an older man at the front of the class that turned to me with a smile. “You must be the new student Luna ?” I nodded and walked over to him as the class went silent and stared at me as I handed the teacher my schedule. “Well, welcome, I am Mr. Varner and welcome to Calculus. I hope you’re good at math.” He joked then turned to survey the class. “You can take the seat next to Edward.” He waved at a boy in the very back with an empty seat.
“Ok.”
Ignoring the stares and some glares that I was confused about I sat down and nodded to the ‘Edward’ I was sitting by and looked straight as the teacher continued the lesson. When the teacher was asking people to answer the big math equation he had on the board, I figured out the answer and wrote it down as the guy next to me answered it correctly.
The class went on like that, and each time Edward would answer some of the girls would turn and stare at him. I wonder why they keep staring? Can’t they tell that it is annoying him? Taking a moment to look at him I could see why people would stare at him. He is very handsome and some might think beautiful but even the beautiful don’t want to be stared at for long.
Just as I was thinking that he turned his head to look at me and I ducked my head and turned away. That was dumb of me, I shouldn’t have stared! Focusing more on the lesson, I wrote down each answer, and when the bell rang I handed that to the teacher. He just laughed and then handed me the math book. “I’m so sorry about that.” I waved it off. “No, it’s fine Mr. Varner. But how would I get to.” I paused to look at the schedule again. “History.”
As I was asking him, he looked behind me and smiled. “Why don’t you have Edward show you the way,” he suggested, and Edward upon hearing must have stopped and stared at me. Feeling his eyes dig holes into my skull cause I didn’t turn around made me feel like I wasn’t worth his time. “No, it’s fine I’ll find it somehow.” I lightly giggled, taking my schedule back and walking around Edward as he stood aside from the door. Wouldn’t want him to hate me.
After a few trials and errors, I found my history class. This teacher was a nice lady with glasses, after giving her my schedule back she asked me to sit next to a girl named Alice. I liked her spiky hair. She smiled and I couldn’t help but smile back, not looking her in the eyes. I took my seat and listened to the lesson while writing down notes. Halfway through the lesson the teacher Mrs. Wilcox stopped and turned to me. “If you need help catching up I’m sure anyone would love to help you.” It was funny seeing Alice’s hand shoot up. “I can help her if she has any questions.” Her cheerfulness is nice, she seems like a great person to know. “Well ok then, if you have any questions just ask Alice then.” She said as she went back to her lesson.
“Alice,” Alice said, putting her hand out to me with a smile. “Luna,” I whispered, shaking her cold hand. The instant my hand touched hers my mind went blank as her life went through my mind. I let go of her hand and nodded to her before looking upfront and sifting through her memories. She can see the future? Neat. I smiled to myself as I was glad to not be the only one who is not normal.
When the bell rang I got up to go to my next class when I felt a hand grab my shoulder. I jumped back a bit at that, jerking to look at who it was before dropping my gaze at who it was. “Oh, sorry I thought you might need help finding your next class.” Alice smiled. She is nice. “Sure, my next class is art.” “This way!” she said, walking in one direction, Hurrying after her I kept up as she kind of danced the way, it was interesting to see someone dance walk.
Reaching my class I turned and thanked Alice before heading in. “No problem.” Watching her dance away was funny. And she is so tiny. For some reason, that class went by fast which I was sad about cause I liked Art. As soon as the class was over I asked Mrs. Bloom where my next class was English with Mrs. William. When that class was over I asked the teacher for directions to the lunchroom and after she told me I went and got some lunch and sat at an empty table next to another in the corner.
Just as I sat down and pulled out my sketchbook to draw as I ate, I saw Isabella at a table. She seems to like it here. Going back to a drawing of the lunchroom I heard a girly giggle. I saw it was just Alice with a guy who looked like he was in pain. I wonder if something happened. Seeing others come through the door I watched as a beautiful blonde and a big guy came and sat down at the table I was next to.
Alice waved at me which made me duck my head as the others turned to me. I never ate that fast in my life. Throwing my garbage away I went back to my seat and was finishing the drawing of the lunchroom when someone came over to me. “Hello.”
“Hi,” I said, without looking up. “No need to be rude.” the person scoffed and walked off. “I wasn’t,” I whispered, a little hurt. Motion to my side caught my eye, and after glancing over to the table with the beautiful people, I looked away as I saw Edward seeming to glare at me. I thought back to think if I offended him somehow and I couldn’t think of any.
Maybe I’m just destined to be hated for no reason. Getting back to my drawing I finished it and put my sketchbook in my bag as I grabbed my schedule again. “Late again.” Alice’s voice made me glance over to see a medium-built guy sitting down breathing hard, clutching his tray. “Shush Alice It’s not my fault the teacher is a devil to me.” He defended himself, as he began to eat as his life depended on it. His dark brown hair swayed as he chatted with Alice.
Looking away from their table I looked at the schedule to see I had Digital Media next. But where would that be? I could ask Alice but Edward seems like he doesn’t want me near them, judging by the glare he hasn’t dropped when he looks my way. I gave up as I picked up my backpack and started for the door.
I wasn’t watching where I was going, cause the next thing I know I bumped into the back of someone. “Sorry!” I hurriedly exclaimed, quickly walking away and out the door. I walked aimlessly around until I finally found the class. I entered right as the bell rang and got a seat at the very back. The seats next to me were empty until someone got up and sat next to me. “Hi, I’m Asher.” A voice said to my right. Peeking over I saw it was the guy that was sitting with the beautiful people. “Hi.” I nodded, seeing the teacher come in and hand out the tablets that we plug into the computers.
It wasn’t long before we’re drawing something in photoshop. As I was drawing I felt a hole digging into the side of my head. “Did I do something?” I whispered to them since the teacher was walking around. “Oh, no I was just wondering if you were going to tell me your name. You did bump into me at lunch.” He chuckled, turning back to the computer. My face started to burn as I ducked my head to hide my face. Stupid! Of course, he would want to know your name. So he can call you out on it.
“Luna. And I’m sorry for bumping into you I didn’t mean to.” He simply shook his head. “Luna then, it’s fine. I was going to tell you it was fine but you were gone before I could. My sister did tell me to be nice to you though.” I stopped drawing to peek at him again. “Your sister?” “Yeah. Alice?” I felt my eyes go wide. She is his sister?! “Alice is your sister? But you don’t-” “Look alike?” He laughed softly. “Well, that is because we are adopted. All of us are.” Ah, that’s cool! “So everyone on that table is adopted?”
I went back to drawing on the computer as he was silent for a moment, probably thinking of if I am worth his time. “We are but some of them are together.” “Together?” I questioned as I added the finishing touches and got ready to send it to the teacher’s email. Just as I did he leaned over to see what I drew. “Wow, that is good!” “Thanks.” Leaning back so I don’t accidentally touch him and see his mind. No one wants their mind invaded.
He soon realized that he was too close and backed up sheepishly. “Sorry.” I just shook my head. “You were talking about them together?” It was a little funny seeing him go from sheepish to beaming. “Right. Well, Alice, I’m sure you met Jasper the curly blonde one.” I thought back to the one who looked like they were in pain. “And Rosalie the beauty is with Emmet the huge guy.” “They do look like a cute couple,” I commented, with a little smile.
“Right! They make a lot of people jealous. It's quite funny to see.” He laughed a little too loud cause the teacher came over. “Need help, Asher? Luna?” I shook my head, pointing to my screen that showed that I sent my work to him already. “No Sir I was just chatting with Luna, since we are both done I just have to send you my work.” I stared as his tone went from happy to monotone. It was weird.
Mr. Turner simply nodded his head and went back to walking around the room, helping people. I glanced at the clock to see it was almost time for the class to end. Pulling my bag into my lap I waited. “Why don’t you look at people?” I heard Asher ask, he had turned to me. I felt my body freeze. Think of something! “I ah I have this fear of looking people in the eyes.”
He looked like he didn’t believe me but then shrugged. “Alright, that would explain it I guess.” Before he could ask more questions the bell rang and I jumped out of my seat. “Yeah. Bye!” I answered, walking out the room before he could catch me.
Marching through the halls I tried to get to my last class while not hitting anyone. I almost collided with the blonde beauty Rosalie around the corner. Barely missing her I apologized and went to my last class Social Studies. Once I got to the class I headed straight for the back seats in the corner. Glad that no one sat next to me. That joy went down a little when I saw Asher enter the classroom but he didn’t seem to see me as he sat at the front.
The teacher Ms. Simms welcomed me in the back to which I just waved and sunk into myself again. “And if you need any help I’m sure someone is willing to help.” She smiled as she walked to her desk and sat down. I didn’t need to look to feel someone staring at me cause it was answered when someone sat in the chair next to me. “You are fast you know that?” Asher jokes, getting his homework out to do as I already was finishing the English assignment I got. “Sorry,” I mumbled as I put the finished paper in my bag and brought out my sketchbook.
“No, It’s ok I’m a little nosy, sorry about that.” Shaking my head I hid a smile. “You’re fine anyone would want to know about the new people they meet right?” His face beamed. “Yeah. But it’s nice to have someone to talk to. Some of my friends only wanted to be my friend cause they wanted to get closer to my siblings. And cause you’re new and you don’t seem to want to get close to them I thought it might be nice if we could be friends if you’re ok with that.” He is cute. I'll give him that. My lips turned up as I held my hand out to him.
“A friend would be nice.”
“Great!”
I kept my little smile on my face as his memories came flooding into my head. “And it would be nice to have a guide around the school. I can’t count how many times I’ve lost my way.” I tried to joke which worked by his laugh.
Chatting with him came easier after that. We spent the whole class period talking while he worked on his homework. The bell rang as we were putting our stuff away and we walked out still chatting, it wasn’t until we got to the parking lot that we had to separate.
“Hey is it ok if I talk to you when you get to school tomorrow?” He asked as he was turning to go to his family, not parked far from us. “Sure.” He then turned back and grinned. “And sorry about my family I know they are weird with how happy Alice is and how Edward looks like he...Never mind.” I nodded, taking a step closer and patting his shoulder, and whispered. “It’s ok don’t worry about it I know it takes a bit for vampires to get used to being human again but it’s nice to see them being happy that way.”
I didn’t need to look up to see his face drain of all color as the muscle under my hand went stiff. “What did you say?” “Well, they are. And I have to go bye see you tomorrow.” I said as I headed to my car, now feeling multiple eyes digging into me. I started my car as there was a knock on my window. I jumped startled to see Asher panting at my window. “Catch your breath.” My hand went to roll down the window and he took a few deep breaths before looking at me as if he was going to plead.
Right as he went to speak my phone went off. Picking it up I saw that my dad messaged me not to forget the cheese at the store before sending over the whole list. Dad why? I turned back to Asher seeing Edward and Emmett coming over and that did nothing to help my heart. “Sorry Asher I have to go I’ll talk to you tomorrow bye.” Putting my car in gear I drove off as he stood there with his brothers.
Calming down my heart wasn’t easy but I did it. I know they were probably going to just ask me not to tell anyone. Not like I would but still, seeing two people walking over with mean expressions is not something I would wish on anyone.
I found the store pretty easily. And was getting what was on my grocery list when I saw a beautiful lady reaching for the top shelf for a sauce. “Would you like me to get that for you?” I asked, not wanting to be rude. She turned and her golden eyes smiled at me. “Yes if it’s alright.” I shook my head, trying not to hug her as I reached up and grabbed the sauce she was reaching for. I gave it to her and she thanked me and we went our separate ways, only to meet up in the parking lot.
She was standing outside her car looking defeated. “Did something happen?” I approached her, seeing some keys in the car with her holding a different pair of keys. “I left my car keys in the car. And I only have my house keys.” She explained as she continued to look defeated. “Do you have someone to come pick you up or someone to come pick up the car cause if so I can give you a ride home?” I offered, seeing that made her look at me.
“I wouldn’t mind but are you sure?” At that, I gave a small smile not looking her in the eyes. “Yeah, I don’t mind if that’s ok with you miss…” “Esme.” I smiled at her this time. “Then Esme I wouldn’t mind driving you my car is this way.” I pointed as she was texting someone, before looking at me. “Ok then, one of my boys will come to get my car since he has the keys as well.” We walked over to my car and filled it up with our groceries. Getting in the driver’s seat I followed her directions to her house and to my surprise her house was the same one I walked to.
“Beautiful house,” I commented as I helped her take her groceries in before heading back to my car. “Would you like to stay for a bit?” Esme asked, and I don’t think I could say no to her, she had a motherly aura around her. “Sure just let me take my groceries to my house. It’s surprisingly close to yours.” She grinned. “Oh, you must be our new neighbors.” I nodded getting in my driver’s seat.
After putting the groceries away I put on my hoodie and walked over to her home and knocked, she greeted me and waved me in. Her home was stunning and spacious, it even had a piano! I sat down in one of the high chairs as we talked about the weather and our hobbies. It was nice talking to Esme, I shook her hand and felt sad for what she had to go through but she is happy so I can’t be too sad. It was refreshing to talk to her. I even got a snack from her.
It’s nice to see the vampires are happy with living among humans. As I was taking a sip of the tea, she made me, I felt a prog in my mind which usually lets me know when someone is trying to read my mind or that something is coming closer. “I’m sorry to ask this randomly but what is your last name Esme?” She paused her snack-making and smiled at me. “It’s Cullen. Dr. Cullen is my husband and we have this home with our kids. They go to forks high, you might know their names.” She started to count on her fingers. “Alice, Jasper, Rosalie, Emmett, Edward, and Asher.”
Just as she said Asher’s name a car engine cut off outside. “That must be them.” I took another sip from my cup as the Cullen clan came into view. The instant Edward saw me he started to glare. But when Alice saw me she skipped over to me and hugged me. “Hi, Luna.” “Hello, Alice.” They all seemed shocked by this but me and Alice. “I see you met.” Edward continued to glare as Asher just looked at me with pleading eyes. “Yeah, we met.” He then turned to Esme. “She knows.” “Of course I know,” I said as Esme’s face turned sad.
Alice let go of me and just stood next to me, when Jasper went to walk over to her she shook her head at him, looping her arm through mine. “You do give off the vibe of not being human you know,” I commented, shrugging as I turned back to grab my cup only to see Edward in front of me. I kept my head down as he stared me down. I finished my cup and hopped off to put it in the sink when he finally spoke.
“If you tell anyone.”
“You will kill me?” I tilted my head at that thought. “Well, then go ahead.” He was taken aback at that. “No?” glancing to see him back up a little I walked around the counter and put my cup in the sink. After I rinsed it out, I quickly washed it and put it on the dish rack.
I turned to see them all still standing there, and only Asher breathed. Seeing Alice still smiling at me made it seem funny. They were all ready to kill me but it seems she didn't. “Esme?” Walking over to her seemed a little nervous but then gave me a sad smile. “Is it alright if I come over tomorrow? I would like to try that tuna snack you were telling me about. If that’s ok if not I won’t.”
I waited for Esme to answer as a bouncy bunny came over to me and hugged me again. Does she have no fear? I wrapped an arm around her little shoulders. “You’re calming.” Her cheerful voice seemed to bring everyone back to the present. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Asher sitting down on one of the high chairs, watching us all.
“I would like it if you came back,” Esme said, walking over to us and placing her hand on my shoulder. “Ok,” I smiled at her before taking my arm from Alice and headed out the door. I didn’t make it a few steps on the gravel when someone grabbed my arm.
Turning back I saw Asher with Edward and Emmett behind him. “Hmm?” I tilted my head but kept my eyes closed. “Where are you going?” The grip on my arm was warm so I knew it was Asher who was holding my arm. “Home,” I said, simply taking my arm out of his grip. “Then can I walk you home seeing how it is getting dark?” He is sweet. I ruffled his hair and shook my head. “I’m ok, see you tomorrow.”
Without another word I smiled and walked back to my house past some trees. Stepping inside I was greeted with the smell of smoke. I held in a laugh as I went into the kitchen. “What happened this time?” I asked, opened the windows as he put the smoking pot on the counter. “It was soup since it looked chilly outside.” He defended himself. “Would you like to try again and let me help?” I laughed as he nodded in defeat.
I found a different pot and started helping him make the soup while cleaning the other one out. Even taking the trash out, I came back in and we ate, joking about it.
After we got done eating he insisted on doing the dishes so I went to my room and looked over my homework to make sure it was right and when I was satisfied I pulled out my sketchbook and started to draw before it got late and I went to bed.
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Any feedback is welcomed ! and yes I know it was bad but I'm trying.
#twilight#Edward Cullen#Witch x Edward#Shypandawrites#Twilight AU#Edward cullen x reader#New girl#Twilight imagine#Witch
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VLD S8E7: Day Forty-Seven
Season 8 Episode 7: Day Forty-Seven
Transcript by @dragonofyang
Summary: Kinkade and Rizavi film a vlog that follows a relatively normal day on the IGF-Atlas with its humorous moments and the stress of battle.
[Google Doc]
Kinkade: Hello. This is Lieutenant Ryan Kinkade, MFE pilot. The time is 0600 hours. It’s day forty-seven. And this is a glimpse at day-to-day life aboard the IGF-Atlas.
[Cut to Kinkade brushing his teeth as the camera floats over his shoulder.]
Kinkade: Last night, I unpacked my video gear and decided to document the crew. I know it seems strange, but before Earth was attacked, I didn’t go anywhere without my camera.
[Cut to Kinkade running on a treadmill.]
Kinkade: Back home, people asked me why I liked recording things. They also asked me why I didn’t talk that much. To both of those things, I’d always say… [grunts]
[Cut to Kinkade doing pull-ups.]
Kinkade: Twenty-eight, twenty-nine, thirty.
Romelle: You’re recording? Why?
Griffin: Kinkade has always been, uh… an individual who’s most comfortable observing and reflecting on life. Being a fighter pilot was actually his backup plan.
[Cut to Kinkade wearing a blindfold as he works on his blaster rifle.]
Kinkade: It’s true. I learned how to shoot with a camera before I learned how to shoot with a rifle. I guess filming is just a small piece of the larger puzzle that makes up the picture of who I am. Hm.
[Cut to Kinkade turning the camera on once more and walking to a fighter jet.]
Rizavi: So you’re really shooting another documentary? Please tell me this is going to be more exciting than that project you did for Mr. Pollard’s biology class about yeast.
Kinkade: That was actually about the process of fermentation. Yeast converts carbohydrates into carbon diox--
Rizavi: Boring! Okay, look, if this little documentary is how history will remember us, I’m gonna help you spruce it up! How many cameras do you have? What’s your visual effects budget? Do you have any smoke bombs?
[Cut to Keith and Pidge facing the camera as it focuses on Pidge directly.]
Kinkade: Okay. We’re set.
Rizavi: So, uh, catch us up on what’s going on.
Pidge: Right. Well, the Atlas is headed to the Grei-Aye system where we’ve identified the remains of a disabled robeast.
Rizavi: Oh! Those things are pretty dangerous, right?
Pidge: Do I need to explain that the robeast was one of the ones used in Honerva’s intergalactic ritual?
Rizavi: No, it’s fine.
Pidge: Okay. Um, so, once the Atlas arrives in orbit around the planet, the other Paladins and I will head down to the surface to secure the robeast and hopefully find its Altean pilot.
Rizavi: Ugh, okay. Keith! Why don’t you tell us about the dangers of this mission?
Keith: Well, every mission has some inherent dangers. For this one, we have to be especially diligent about the robeast. Even if it’s not fully functional, it can still pose an extreme threat. Combine that with the hostile Altean that’s probably still in the vicinity, and you’ve potentially got threats on multiple fronts.
Hunk: Hey, guys. What’s up? You making a movie? Cool. Can I be in it? Now, wait, if this is an action movie… is it? I don’t wanna be in it.
Rizavi: Hunk, we’re trying to do an interview here.
Hunk: Oh, sorry. Yeah, my bad. I just came by to see if you wanted to try this new recipe I’ve been experimenting with. This is just the first pass. The final version of it will be coming soon. No, Bae Bae! Not for you! I’m sorry I yelled at you. I’ll make you some doggy treats later.
Kinkade: What’s the recipe? Can we watch you work?
Hunk: Well, yeah! Yeah, this’ll be great! I’ve secretly always wanted my own cooking show.
Rizavi: What? No! Keith was just telling us about the mission and all the dangers! We’re not losing that to document cooking.
Kinkade: But, I like cooking.
Rizavi: It’s like you’re trying to make this boring.
Hunk: Whoa, first of all, cooking is not boring, okay? And it can bring people together. Some of the best times of my life were spent breaking bread with loved ones.
Keith: So, is this interview over?
Rizavi: No! Great, now the talent’s getting restless!
Iverson: Everyone, report to your battle stations immediately! I repeat… battle stations immediately! This is not a drill!
Rizavi: The camera!
Kinkade: Leave it! We need to go!
Rizavi: But this is gold!
Kinkade: Come o--
Iverson: MFE pilots, report to hangars alpha-bravo! Scrambling fighters in five! Paladins, stand by for launch.
[Scene change as Bae Bae finds the fallen camera and carries it around.]
Shiro: Where did it come from? Veronica, get me eyes on it!
Coran: That thing just appeared out of nowhere!
Shiro: Iverson, fire when ready!
Iverson: Target acquired! We’ve got lock! Wait. No… we lost it! Target has gone dark!
Veronica: Electromagnetic radiation from that planet is overloading our radars.
Shiro: Voltron, do you have a visual? I repeat, Voltron, do you have a visual?
Keith: Not yet. We’re going in now! Stand by! We can’t see a thing in here!
Griffin: Copy that. We have zero visibility as well. We need a visual.
Curtis: Roger. Trying another avenue. Scanning for biometrics. Visual acquired!
Coran: Incoming!
Iverson: Recharging all starboard cannons!
Curtis: Sensors are offline!
Iverson: What is that thing?
Coran: It’s massive!
Shiro: Iverson, open fire!
Coran: Direct hit! It’s coming back around for another shot!
Shiro: Veronica, prep shields!
[Scene change as the camera falls down a vent into Sam and Slav’s workstation.]
Sam: Whatever hit us just knocked loose the gravity generator! Grab the flaxum assembly!
Slav: I can’t do that! It’s red!
Sam: Is this one of your crazy probability, reality things?
[Scene change to a hallway as soldiers float through to their stations.]
Shiro: All crew, report to stations and prepare for Atlas transformation--
Atlas Crewmember: Go, go, go!
Shiro: --in T-minus thirty seconds!
[Scene change as Bae Bae finds the camera again and carries it.]
Colleen: Bae Bae, what are you doing out here? And what’s this in your mouth? A camera? Come on, girl.
Shiro: All crew, prepare for Atlas transformation sequence in five… four… three… two… one!
[Scene change as the camera dies, then powers on again facing Kinkade once more.]
Kinkade: Camera’s fully charged. We’re good to go. The time is now 0900 hours. We just experienced a minor mishap aboard the IGF-Atlas, but we’re back on track. In the future, we’ll hopefully be avoiding creature-occupied gas planets.
[Cut to Kinkade floating through a hallway.]
Kinkade: Hey, Seok Jin, where you headed?
Seok Jin: I’m transporting these samples back to Earth. Commander Holt thinks it can help with the recovery efforts there.
Kinkade: Well, they couldn’t have picked a better man for the job. Take care, man. Hey, Seok Jin… we’ll miss you, buddy.
[Scene change to the camera looking into the mess hall, where Vrepit Sal is cleaning tables and then rotates to face the hallway.]
Rizavi: There you are! Tell me this thing was recording during the attack! That was so intense! Oh, this documentary’s gonna be awesome!
[Cut to Kolivan sitting in a small office facing the camera.]
Kolivan: I believe our heading readout en route was 92254739.275. Wait, no. It was 9.265. Yes. That was our heading per our readout just prior to our deployment.
Rizavi: [mock snoring]
Kolivan: Our teams vary in size. Often we use the three-person unit, but it’s not unusual to have a four- or a five- or perhaps even a six-person unit. Seven seems rare, but... it could happen.
Rizavi: Okay, I like everything you’re telling me, but let’s just try it a little less like you’re reporting the facts to your commanding officer and a little more like you’re telling your friend an exciting story in the gym. You understand?
Kolivan: Yes, understood.
Rizavi: Okay, good. Why don’t you tell us about your last mission?
Kolivan: Our last mission took place on planet K-V Exus. The Blades divided into three four-person teams and we escorted approximately twelve rescue crafts to the surface. I believe our heading readout was 359.222--
Rizavi: Thank! Thank you! Okay, I think we got it!
Kolivan: But I wasn’t done.
Rizavi: Yeah, you nailed it. Yeah. We need to get someone more exciting in here.
[Cut to Coran leaning into the camera as it slowly attempts to focus on him.]
Coran: Then the Atlas started firing with everything it had! And don’t forget the white hole is swirling right next to us the entire time! Oh, no, it’s about to close! Meanwhile, not one, but two, yes, two, robeasts are attacking! Shiro’s shouting out orders. “Coran, get closer! Iverson, open fire!” Beams of quintessence energy are converging from all over the galaxy! Ah! You know, you could just imagine it.
[Scene change to Rizavi turning the camera on in Slav and Sam’s workspace.]
Sam: Welcome to the engine room. What you see here is just a tiny part of what keeps the ship functioning.
Rizavi: Slav, you’ve created some incredible technology. What do you think of the Atlas?
Slav: I can respect any engineering that extrapolates for transmutation, but I wish the writing was in Altean.
Sam: He’s mentioned that a few times.
Rizavi: So what are you doing now?
Slav: Right now we’re about to adjust the gravity generator, which was fractionally increased during our last battle.
Sam: Yes, our gravity generator is actually a fluid system, ever-changing depending on the specific needs of the location, so it requires recalibrating from time to time. Okay, adjust gravity generator back down to .12.
Slav: Copy. Adjusting now.
Sam: What did you press?
Slav: I don’t know! Which one is the two again? I can’t read these weird symbols you call numbers! Hey, big guy, toss me over! Oh, no. Directly on a crack!
Kinkade: Weird.
[Cut to the camera focusing on some juniberry shoots in a pot.]
Colleen: Beautiful, isn’t it? It’s an Altean juniberry. The first one to bloom in nearly ten thousand years. I managed to get it to grow by resequencing the genetic code of a similar plant. I wanna give it to Allura. These are our fertilizers. We have fish emulsion, worm castings, Kaltenecker manure. Just so much great recycled poop! And this is our lighting station. I like to say our lighting array is literally out of this world! You know, because we’re, you know, on a space ship.
Rizavi: Can I take a shot at this?
[Cut to the camera panning across the crops in the grow room.]
Rizavi: Welcome to extreme space harvesting! Where we have plants and crops and super fertilizers all under one roof! Meet Colleen Holt, the botanical genius behind it all.
[Cut to Colleen sitting in a chair in the grow room.]
Colleen: I guess I just liked plants all my life. I’ve done a lot of research, but I know I have much to learn. I guess… I like… the challenge. I’m sorry, where am I supposed to be looking?
Rizavi: Without Colleen, all life aboard the ship could perish. One bad crop, the introduction of one foreign pest, and it’s all over.
Colleen: I just like plants.
Hunk: Oh, sorry. Am I interrupting something again? I just--I just came in to see if Colleen had a very specific type of yeast.
Kinkade: Yeast? What for?
Rizavi: Oh, no.
Hunk: It’s that recipe I’ve been working on. I think I got the topping down, but I’m still trying to figure out the sweet bread.
Colleen: Well, I have so many strains of yeast, it’ll make your head spin. I got AB972, S288C. I even have O unilateralis. Don’t mess with that one.
Kinkade: Are you getting this?
Rizavi: Unfortunately, yes.
[Camera cuts to Kinkade and Rizavi floating through a hallway.]
Rizavi: The time is 1200 hours. We just got word that we are in the Grei-Aye star system. The Paladins will be heading down to the surface of the planet any second now.
[Cut to the camera facing Allura, Lance, and Keith in the hangar for Black Lion.]
Rizavi: Lance, how are you feeling about the mission you’re about to go on?
Lance: Oh, hey. I’m feeling good, I guess. Maybe a little tense. Maybe a lot tense. I don’t know. Why’d you have to ask me that question?
Allura: I think what Lance is trying to say is he’ll be fine. We all will.
Keith: Let’s move out.
[Camera cuts to Kinkade and Rizavi standing a ways away from Blue Lion as it launches.]
Rizavi: Right now, we’re headed to the situation room where we’ll be monitoring the Paladins in real-time.
Kinkade: By the way, you know we’re not gonna be able to bring our camera into that meeting, right?
Rizavi: Says who?
[Scene change to the situation room where Veronica, Coran, Sam, and Shiro are all facing a screen showing a no-signal symbol.]
Sam: Come in, Pidge. Are you reading us?
Pidge: Okay, we’ve just touched down on the surface.
Keith: We’re at the crash site now.
Pidge: That’s the robeast. It looks disabled, just like our intel reported. The Altean should be nearby.
Shiro: Paladins, brace for incoming!
Hunk: I didn’t know it could do that!
Keith: Take cover!
Shiro: Paladins, report! We’ve lost visual. Bridge, lock onto that ship now!
Curtis: Yes, Captain. Adjusting to long-range parameters. Locked on!
Shiro: Light it up!
Curtis: Direct hit!
Lance: Nice shot, Atlas!
Hunk: Yeah, thanks for the cover!
Shiro: Bridge, stay on alert.
[Cut to the Altean viewscreen of Pidge’s point of view through her helmet.]
Allura: Stand by, Atlas. We’re approaching the ship.
Hunk: Guys, there doesn’t seem to be a pilot inside.
Keith: Hey, guys. Over here.
Pidge: Keith’s found something. Let’s go! Give me a second. Just reconfiguring to this barrier’s isometric frequency. There! That should do it.
Keith: Atlas, our target is acquired.
Overlapping voices: Yippee! Alright! Yeah!
Shiro: Great job, everyone!
[Cut to Kinkade and Rizavi floating through another hallway.]
Rizavi: We just got word that the Paladins have returned from their mission. Maybe we can catch a glimpse of this new Altean.
Kinkade: This’ll be the sixth Altean pilot we’ve recovered from the powered-down robeasts left behind after Honerva escaped Oriande. Allura keeps trying, but she hasn’t been able to get any information from them as of yet.
[Camera cuts to Rizavi standing outside a room marked “Authorized Personnel Only”.]
Rizavi: Commander Shirogane said you two were needed on the bridge. We’ll cover your station.
Woman: Yes, Lieutenant.
Rizavi: There! Oh, man, I think we missed the beginning.
Romelle: Tavo, please. You and I grew up alongside one another. You must trust me. We’re here to help.
Tavo: We were told you are a traitor, and I can see now that it is true.
Allura: I’m done talking with him. I’m done with all of them.
Kinkade: Uh, what are you doing?
Rizavi: Sh! I got an idea.
Lance: Anything?
Allura: No. He was just like the others. A true believer in Honerva, and there’s nothing I can say that would make him think otherwise.
Lance: I’m sorry.
Allura: No, I am. These Alteans are the key to unlocking Honerva’s plan. They’re my people, but they won’t speak with me. You have no idea what it’s like to find out after ten thousand years that you’re not the last of your kind… only to be rejected by them.
Lance: I don’t. But I wish every day there were something I could do to change it all for you. You’ve suffered more than anyone should in a thousand lifetimes. But still you persist. Through the pain, you inspire. It’s one of the reasons I fell in love with you.
Kinkade: No, that’s private.
Rizavi: Kinkade, what are you doing? That was our love angle!
[Camera cuts out, then focuses in on Romelle’s face.]
Kinkade: Please don’t touch that.
Romelle: Oh, sorry.
Rizavi: So, Romelle, you know these Alteans from your time on the colony?
Romelle: Yes, I lived alongside them for many decaphoebs. They are good people.
Kinkade: What do you think would make them join forces with Honerva?
Romelle: I don’t know. But you must understand, my people were hunted nearly to extinction. They’re afraid. And this Honerva… she’s turned that fear to aggression. If there was just some way to get through to them.
[Cut to the mess hall.]
Griffin: I’ve never seen anything like it. All those tentacles… so nasty.
[Cut to the kitchen where Hunk is stirring something purple in a pan.]
Hunk: Oh, hey. You’re just in time. I was just about to add the yeast Colleen gave me. No, Bae Bae! Bad dog!
[Cut to Kinkade and Rizavi sitting at a table with Allura.]
Kinkade: First off, thanks for doing this, Allura.
Allura: You’re welcome.
Rizavi: Maybe we can start with the Alteans we have aboard.
Allura: What about them? They’re on the wrong side of this war and they refuse to speak with me. There’s nothing else to say.
Rizavi: So, you’re frustrated?
Allura: Yes, I am. Oriande was destroyed, Lotor is back, and we aren’t any closer to tracking down Honerva. She’s out there, right now, planning something, preparing, and growing stronger. And we’re here flying around in circles, searching for Fraunhofer lines that don’t appear and scanning for wormhole signatures that don’t exist!
Rizavi: Do you think we’ll ever find Honerva?
Allura: No. I think she’ll find us.
[Camera cuts back to Hunk in the kitchen, this time wearing oven mitts.]
Hunk: Okay, it’s been a long day, but I’m finally done.
Kinkade: What is it?
Hunk: It’s an authentic Altean dessert! I’m gonna give it to the Alteans. Coran helped me with the recipe, but I think his memory was, like, a little bit fuzzy, so, you know, I did some improvising. No big whoop.
Kinkade: You did this for them? Why?
Hunk: Well, I don’t know. Because food has a way of reminding people of moments in time. That’s why I made a dessert. Usually, when you eat dessert, you’re pretty happy, right? Who knows? Maybe this’ll help those Alteans remember some moment that made them smile. Something before all this madness. That could go a long way in building a relationship. Well, that’s just what I think.
[Cut to the Alteans in a holding cell as the camera zooms out and pans to face Hunk.]
Hunk: Please, eat. Look, it’s good! Mm, really!
Tavo: You made this? It reminds me of home.
Hunk: Well, I had a little help from someone born and raised on Altea. A-and I know you don’t wanna talk with them, but Allura and Coran know more about your homeland than anyone alive. They were on Altea until its final day. They both would’ve stayed and died to protect it if Alfor hadn’t sent them away. That’s how much they loved it.
Tavo: I heard Altea was one of the most beautiful places in the universe. Did your Alteans ever tell you about the zyo crystal springs outside of the capital? The stories say those cliffs were more beautiful than all of the stars combined.
Hunk: They never told me about them. But I’m sure they’d love to tell you themselves.
[Scene change to Kinkade sitting in casual clothes facing the camera.]
Kinkade: This is Lieutenant Ryan Kinkade, MFE pilot. The time is 2300 hours. Day forty-seven aboard the IGF-Atlas is officially done.
End.
#vld#voltron#transcript#hunk#pidge#tavo#allura#lance#keith#shiro#curtis#sam holt#slav#romelle#colleen holt#james griffin#ryan kinkade#nadia rizavi#coran#iverson
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Hi there! So I've been meaning to ask this for a while after realizing it, but don't O!Ciel's, Doll's, Alois', and Lizzy's color schemes kind of reveal their past and future a tad bit? I've know Alois outfits are bold yet kind of gothic colors like violet emerald green black and brown which all in the world of art are color forms of different emotions depending how you work with them, green being envy or disgusted but he hides it with royal purple, black means wounded which are his shorts & tie
Dear Blackbutlerfandomnerddomain,
While colour symbolism is popular, I personally don’t think the colours in Kuroshitsuji’s costumes are supposed to deliver any meaning other than aesthetic value. Especially with O!Ciel and Lizzie we can say with some certainty colour symbolism is not within the intention, because they change clothes in every single illustration, and every time they wear different colours. Yes, these characters do have tones they tend to wear, but that’s how real people dress themselves too. Somebody who likes calm colours is slightly less likely to have a rainbow assortment of neon, for example.
This is simply the way I understand Yana’s style, there’s not really ONE correct answer here. So feel free to read as much into the colours as it pleases you. But as I personally see it, Yana’s style of using symbolism tends to rely on objects rather than colours. Allow me to briefly analyse two artworks to illustrate what I mean and how I came to my understanding.
Case One
One of the most famous artworks is the front illustration of the second illustration book. Many colours including green, red, blue, white, gold are all present here.
One could make arguments for the black and white of the Earl’s attire being symbolism, but this meaning is quickly overshadowed by the ravens emerging from the Escher patterns. Red is the most eye-catching colour in this illustration. One might say O!Ciel’s gloves being red means to symbolise his hands being blood-dyed, or his shoes red because he walks a bloody path... but then how do we explain the inside of the drape or Sebastian’s waistcoat?
The setting is a place that appears to be a type of greenhouse; a place built to maximise the function of sunlight. And yet, while the illustration seems to suggest it is daytime, the sun is failing miserably in face of the heavy clouds. Rather than painting the sky ominous red or just dark, Yana uses the unsuccessful sun to set a mood or convey symbolism. “Is the white light against the dark clouds not also a type of colour symbolism?” Yes, it may be, but then one should also ask the question: "why choose a greenhouse then, and not any other setting that could have conveyed the light/dark contrast?”
Case two
Another famous piece is this 2014 artwork. The overall tone is gloomy and is mostly lacking in colours. Though held back in terms of colour, there is a lot to be unpacked here!
The first thing that catches the eye is indeed the overwhelmingly sombre palate of this illustration. Black can symbolise many things, but when 70% of the illustration is black, one could say this illustration is either incompetent in conveying symbolism in it being over-saturated with “meaning”, or that the black is merely here to set a tone.
Instead, we can see white lilies in O!Ciel’s hair as well as one stem carried by Sebas. Rather than colour symbolism, Japan has a long history of flower-symbolism (花言葉・Hanakotoba), and Yana herself is big fan of this style. When Western culture was introduced to Japan, black and white lilies were accepted as symbols for death.
The composition of the artwork leads the eye from the bottom left corner to the top right. This guides our vision to the empty plate at the top of the table, where a bright white saucer lies with a conspicuous bit of red sauce.
Red might symbolise blood here, and it is befitting. But more importantly we also need to consider this choice from an artist’s point of view. How many different colours of edible sauces are there? There’s chocolate sauce and other dark sauces, but that would just blend in with the rest of the illustration. Yellowy sauce is certainly a thing, but that’d be overpowered by the golden details. So red is the only bright colour that would make the empty saucer pop out. The Empty saucer has a fork placed diagonally on top, meaning that somebody had consumed food and is now finished. Rather than the colour of red, I think it is the now-empty saucer that is supposed to symbolise Sebastian’s goal of consuming his master.
Next to the saucer is the skeleton of a bird; presumably a crow judging from the size. Skeletons universally symbolise death, but it has nothing to do with the colour.
In Japanese native culture the topic of ‘death’ is big taboo. In older Japanese buildings for example, the 4th floor would often be skipped because ‘4′ (四・shi) is a homophone of death (死・shi).
In the past when Buddhism was introduced, the Japanese embraced this religion with open arms because finally there was something else that would deal with ‘death’ while native culture could stay in its comfort-zone. It was a bit like: “we do we... Hey, Buddhism, can you take care of that thing we’re too afraid of for us? Thanks dude!” Since the introduction of Buddhism, images of skeletons came to not just mean ‘death’, but more specifically ‘impermanence’ (無常・mujou). Impermanence is one of the core teachings in Buddhism, reminding humanity that everything will eventually come to an end, be it good or bad. With Buddhism introduced, skeletons were no longer only associated with pure fear, but instead gained an additional meaning of acceptance of change and the cycle of nature.
The origins of the meaning of skeletons have blurred through the years, many Japanese people probably don’t even know why things evoke certain meanings in them (just like in other cultures, I presume). But fact remains that though still macabre, in Japan a skeleton is now assumed to symbolise the naturalness of death.
That the skeleton of the bird is preserved in a glass dome is interesting. Glass domes’ function is primarily display. Out of all things, Yana chose to specifically display the symbol of impermanence and death, meaning that within this artwork that skeleton is the key object of display. In human subjectivity death is finite and fearsome. To a demon like Sebastian however (from whose perspective we view this artwork as he’s the only one awake here), he probably views death more akin to the way Buddhism views it; as just impermanence. I am NOT saying that Sebastian subscribes to a Buddhist philosophy, but I am saying that he must view death a lot more neutrally than most humans do.
Most Japanese people are not raised consciously religiously, but everyone is always influenced to some extent, Yana included. And therefore it is no surprise that Yana might have been inspired by the neutral view towards death (for at least Sebastian), even if she might not know where this inspiration comes from.
The casualness of ‘death’ in this illustration is further indicated by the coffin that is set up as a dining table. There is no respect, no ceremony, objects are scattered on top and around. The message is rather straightforward so I shall waste no more time explaining the obvious here. But I do wish to point out how this gives further evidence for how the meanings of this illustration should be considered from Sebas’ perspective, just like the crow’s skeleton as explained above. What is finite to us, is just a fact of nature to Sebas.
Conclusion
Yana has created many illustrations. Not all include symbolism, but the more elaborate pieces are usually packed with them. Of course I have only analysed two illustrations, and I would not blame anyone for calling this post insufficient evidence. But... I could just go on and on forever, and I need to draw a line somewhere, right? What I can say with confidence however, is that if you were to grab any artwork by Yana and see it for yourself, rather than colour, item symbolism is stronger.
Also, the way Yana uses colour is just not very symbolism heavy; she has a much stronger tendency to use colours purely aesthetically. Take any of the inside covers of this series, and one would quickly find out there really is no pattern to be found here.
In a nutshell, Yana’s colouring style is mostly aesthetic and used to set a tone for her illustrations. What carries the symbolism instead is in the objects.
Again, this is merely how I personally read Yana’s illustrations and an elaboration of how I came to this reading. There is not one correct answer to read illustrations, because art is subjective in its core. So if the colours do mean more to you than they do to me, please do enjoy doing so by all means ^^
#Kuroshitsuji#Black Butler#Art#Illustration#art analysis#analysis#I did study art for a bit and it shaped the way I look at art#but the core lesson of art analysis class is that art is always subjective#ALWAYS#symbolism
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Bruises and Forgotten Lunches // Joshua Bassett
IN WHICH: Tim Federle, creator of High School Musical: The Musical: The Series, forgets his lunch and has his niece bring it to him. On leave/vacation from work she meets the cast at lunch and departs after. Only someone doesn’t want to not see her again.
Characters: Reader x Joshua Bassett, niece!reader x uncle!Tim Federle, Olivia Rodrigo, Larry Saperstein, and Matt Cornett
Words: 1.8k
Warnings: Possible swearing, talk about violence, injuries, kidnapping (is lightly mentioned due to reader’s job), and fluff
A/N: To fit this the minimum age to be an agent is not 23 but instead 20. Just a simple one shot that is not fully edited.
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Masterlist
Being an FBI Agent had you going on cases throughout the United States while you were working out of the field office in Salt Lake City. A recent case you spent with you team ended with you with a concussion and mandatory time off, which sucked since you were the youngest on the team. Supervisor in Chief Charlie had been adamant you not work in the field until you were medically approved to go back.
That led you to drop off your uncle’s lunch at his workplace, which was a place that was tough for you to be near. You wouldn’t have agreed to drop off the forgotten food if you had been informed that Tim’s new job had him on a set at a high school.
“Uncle Tim.” You sighed, finally finding the man sitting in a chair holding a script and pen in his hand. His green eyes meeting the ones that had followed his every move as a kid.
“Hey, Kid!” Tim grinned raising to grab you in his arms, “Your mom texted me about your free time. Are you okay?”
“I got punched in the head by a suspect.” You spoke, “fell onto the cement and woke in a hospital.”
Tim’s face fell at your words, “I had no clue it was that serious. I’m sorry I was working when that happened.”
“It’s okay.” You soothed the older man. Your parents had you when they were in their early twenties completely unplanned but wholly loved by both sides.
Uncle Tim was born after your mother by a few years and in his grade twelve year when his sister brought her long-term boyfriend home. That night involved a lot of screaming and crying when the Federle found out their college student daughter was pregnant. While your parents went through with the pregnancy, obviously, Tim often offered to babysit for free when they had to work. You had a special bond with Tim to this day, he’s like a big brother and a second dad at the same time.
“Do you want to hang around? There’s a snack table to grab food from and have lunch with me.” Tim offered barely glancing at the school, but he didn’t know why schools made you uncomfortable now.
“I’m not sure. You guys look super busy.” You started but failed when Tim shook his head at your words. He motioned to follow him to a set up of long tables under umbrellas in the warm weather, a group of people sat there.
“Guys, this is my niece Y/N. Bean this is the main cast of the show.” Tim spoke, getting the actors to wave and smile, “She was an awesome niece to drop my lunch off.”
Tim yanked you into his arms to lightly rub his knuckles on your head ever so careful with the head injury you received.
“What happened that you got a bruise on your temple?” A tan guy with vivid blue eyes questioned leaning forward in his chair. His plate had a piece of pizza left, but he focused entirely on you.
“Work hazard.”
“Do you box?” A male with bright ginger hair questioned next leading to the others at the table to listen carefully.
Tim snagged a seat to unpack his lunch while listening to you, “I haven’t heard the story either fully.”
“I can’t legally tell you!” You joked to your uncle, “You’ve been saying that since I graduated! I should better introduce myself than he did. I’m Special Agent Y/N Y/L/N with the FBI, this lovely token was given to me by an unsub in a recent investigation.”
“FBI-“
“Guys we should really introduce ourselves.” One of the younger girls spoke with a wry smile, “I’m Olivia, and these nosy nuisances are Josh, Larry, Matt, and Sofia.”
Each of the smiled in response before wanting to finish the rest of the story but were interrupted when Tim pushed half his sandwich over; the same routine since before you could remember.
“I’ve been with the FBI for about a year now and just off my probationary period. Before that, I worked as a cop for a year after graduating high school early.” You gave a vague back history and a few details, “I’ve been fortunate to not have been shot before, other than taking it to the vest which hurts a lot. This is the worst I’ve had with a concussion for someone I was pursuing. I’m on medical leave for a few days.”
“Thank you for doing what you do for us to be safe.” Josh spoke up first mesmerising you with the infectious smile that pulled up slightly more on one side. His brown eyes connecting with yours in a while that floored the group.
“I’ve wanted to serve in terms of justice since I was a kid first as a lawyer, but then my grade five year had a professional day, and a kid’s FBI parent talked to us. That was the reason I decided to join the Academy.” You supplied smiling at the boy, “I’m the youngest on my team.”
“Bean graduated high school at sixteen and went straight into University in that same fall. By nineteen, she was training to be a cop and then raised to successfully join a career that terrifies everyone in the family.”
“Why play an FBI Agent when I could be one in real life?” You playfully winked at your uncle gaining only a chuckle in response, “Well you guys are probably about to start, and I really have to get going. I may be on medical leave, but I have paperwork to do.”
That being said, you left the group to their own devices to call a cab, you weren’t allowed to drive with the concussion. You were surprised when someone called you name and went to tap your shoulder; their hand was yanked and pulled until he was kneeling with his arm held against his back.
“Okay, yup really shouldn’t have tapped an agent’s shoulder.” He coughed relaxing when he’s arm was released from the uncomfortable position, “I’m sorry about that.”
“What can I do for you, Josh?” You questioned the actor with one raised eyebrow that pulled the fading bruise.
“I was wondering if I could have your number?” Josh bashfully questioned struggling to keep eye contact when his cheeks were turning a light pink. You had a feeling he didn’t do this often.
“Just so happens I’m not your assigned FBI agent.” You joked chuckling when his eyes widened, “I’m kidding. We don’t do surveillance on a person for no reason.”
“Oh.” Josh sighed, nodding his head as he tentatively held out his phone for you, “Good to know.”
You chuckled putting your name in for him and sending a swift message to you, so you had his number too. The boy beamed when you got into the cab and practically swayed in the language of love when he closed your door.
Over One Year Later
It was a tough case involving a teenage girl kidnapped with details that made you feel sick with the people that sadly populated the world. You were glad to be home after the week in Montana in your little apartment. Your shoulders were slouched as you shut and locked the door.
“Hey.”
You simply smiled and walked straight into his open arms that you severely needed after the long week. Josh and you had been dating over a little over a year, you officially started dating a month after meeting and constant talking.
“Hi.” You mumbled into his shoulder, leaning back to sniff the air, “Did you make food?”
“Yeah, I tried this new recipe your Mom sent, and I did a good job.” Josh spoke, leaning cheek on your head, “I’m sorry you had a tough week.”
“There was a young girl.” Your voice broke, “We saved her, but Josh, she’s gonna need support after what happened.”
Josh hugged you closer swaying at he did so and the way you loved.
As an FBI Agent, you worked out of the Utah field office in Salt Lake City and served Utah. Along with Utah, you served Idaho, Yellowstone National Park and the recent state you were in Montana. Josh filmed High School Musical: The Musical: The Series for most of the year and lived the other part in California. To save money and with your long hour jobs, he moved in for the filming months.
“Just think in a few weeks we’ll be in Oceanside with our family.” Josh mumbled in your ear, bringing a bright smile to your face.
Your love story was more fast-paced than what was typically expected, but with almost two years together, you both knew. Six months ago, Josh proposed with a heartfelt speech and plan which got your acceptance. Planning a wedding while working full time and with his filming schedule was hard, but you did it.
“I can’t wait to be your wife.” You mumbled leaning back to kiss him.
You never anticipated being married at twenty-two and Josh as twenty-one. Still, it was happening, and you were so excited.
“We still need to talk about if you are going to request a transfer to LA.” Josh spoke, leading you through the apartment to the bedroom. He waited as you placed your gun in your lockbox and changed out of your work clothes into a pair of sweaters and a shirt.
“It depends on where it would work for you.” You spoke smiling as he clasped your hand in his, immediately his thumb ran across your engagement ring. It was a habit he picked up, and you simply adored it.
“Filming for High School Musical is four months out of the year and then promo varying on the amount.” Josh thought it over you both grabbed the dishes to set at the moderately sized table, “Would you be happy?”
“I’m happy wherever you are.” You cheesed at the blushing guy across from you as you both served the meal he made, “We can keep the apartment for when you are here filming too.”
“Good idea.” Josh spoke, “Look at us, adulting.”
“About as adult as you can get when we had a Disney dance party last week.” You joked leaning over the table to share one last kiss before you tabled the talk of the wedding and life beyond to just be with each other at the moment.
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#joshua bassett x reader#ricky bowen x reader#joshua bassett imagines#ricky bowen imagines#hsmtmts imagines#hsmtmts#high school musical: the musical: the series#caitsyandashproductions#fluff#fbi agent
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Trees (2021)
A talk abut growth, hope, and paying attention to history
Revised and expanded for the Washington Ethical Society by Lyn Cox
February 7, 2021
In this place halfway between the beginning of winter and the beginning of spring, we draw on imagination and memory, caution and optimism, hope for the future and learning from the past. Many of these things are contained in stories.
I don’t know if the story happened exactly this way, but I believe it’s true. A sage, a wise person, was walking along the road and saw someone planting a carob tree. The sage asks, "How long will it take for this tree to bear fruit?" "Seventy years," replies the gardener. The sage then asks: "Are you so healthy a person that you expect to live that length of time and eat its fruit?" The gardener answers: "I found a fruitful world, because my ancestors planted it for me. Likewise I am planting for my children." I will tell you where this story is from because I want to give credit, but I also want to notice that this story has a universality to it, a truth that the beginnings of things we set in motion can have an impact long past the horizons of our own lives. This story is from the Talmud, a collection of rabbinic conversations on ethics and customs. (Talmud Ta'anit 23a)
We drink from wells we did not dig and eat from trees we did not plant (Deut. 6:11). Our physical, intellectual, and religious lives depend on those who have gone before. Following their example will lead us to plant literal and figurative trees for the world of the future.
I believe caring for ourselves AND others will help us sustain a shared life of meaning and compassion for a long time.
My first semester studying for my M.Div. degree in California, I worked at one college in the south bay area, and went to school in the east bay area. I enjoyed the fragrance of eucalyptus trees around both campuses. The dry leaves rustled in the breeze, leaves rubbing together like the wings of singing crickets. Some people were distracted by the sound and allergic to the smell, but I liked them. The eucalyptus trees were tall and graceful. One might imagine that they had always been there. There’s a story about those trees. I don’t know if it happened exactly this way.
The American West in the late 1800’s was heavily influenced by dreams of getting rich quick. Non-native eucalyptus trees were brought from Australia because they grew quickly. It was imagined that the lumber and oil would become quickly replaceable commodities for those who farmed them. They were promoted as ornamental trees for rich landowners new to the area and not used to treeless landscapes. Eucalyptus trees were all over California by the 1900’s, and were tested for use as railroad ties. They didn’t work out. Eucalyptus from Australian virgin forests, seasoned and treated properly, behaves differently than eucalyptus grown from seeds in California, hastily treated, and set down in the Nevada sand. Some of the railroad ties were so cracked they couldn’t hold spikes. Some decayed within four years.
The trees themselves grew like weeds. They did what non-native species are famous for doing: thriving in the new environment, edging out diverse native plants that provide food and habitat, with consequences for the entire food chain. An attempt at a quick profit turned out to have unintended consequences. Recently, there has been more discussion in that region about restoring native trees, but it’s complicated. To say that it will take time to mitigate the damage of an invasive species is an understatement. Then again, compare that to the 2,000-year growth of some living redwood trees. May we learn patience and commitment from slow-growing trees.
We strive to be among those people who have the hope and imagination it takes to envision a world of justice and compassion, a world of liberation and self-determination, a world of peace where people sit calmly in the shade of slow-growing trees. In our neck of the woods, we might imagine a world where every person lives in safety and abundance, with access to the shade of a Witch Hazel, Hackberry, or Redbud tree; the three logically native trees our Earth Ethics Action Team recently arranged to have planted on the WES property. In folk music and wisdom tales, slow-growing trees symbolize enough time for a generation to grow without being uprooted by hunger or violence.
The California eucalyptus story reminds us that some of the environmental mistakes we humans have made were decisions made by a few but using the resources and the risk pool of many. Another time, we can unpack the harm that white American westward expansion had on indigenous land rights and communities, and on the horrors of labor exploitation involved in the transcontinental railroad, and on the energy and resources that were available for white colonization but not reparations for formerly enslaved people after the Civil War. Understanding the wrong choices that have been made in the past may help us turn toward making better choices as a society going forward. We can play an active role in the governments, corporations, and organizations to which we belong and who act on our behalf. Let us embody these relationships for repair and renewal.
Contrast the rushed, climate-disrupting story of the eucalyptus trees with the story of George Washington Carver. I had to catch up on some of his story this week, when my kids noticed discrepancies between what was said about Dr. Carver in the elementary school reader on our bookshelf and what they had read elsewhere. Some of us learned in school that the most important contribution Dr. Carver made as a scientist was discovering and promoting new uses for peanuts, but this version of his story is grossly oversimplified and obscures the way his research and activism supported Black self-determination as well as environmental repair.
After he graduated from the Iowa State Agricultural College in 1896, Dr. Carver accepted a position at the Tuskegee Institute in Alabama. Riding on the train to his new home, he noticed immediately that growing nothing but cotton was causing soil erosion and depletion. He had scientific solutions to that. What took longer was figuring out how to empower Black farmers -- especially those who were being exploited as sharecroppers -- to feed their families, improve their chances for subsequent years, and still make enough money to try to get out of debt. Smithsonian Magazine quotes biographer Mark Hersey about the way Dr. Carver understood the problem:
“What Carver comes to see,” Hersey says, was that “altering [black sharecroppers’] interactions with the natural world could undermine the very pillars of Jim Crow.” Hersey argues that black Southerners viewed their lives under Jim Crow through an environmental lens. “If we want to understand their day to day lives, it’s not separate drinking fountains, it’s ‘How do I make a living on this soil, under these circumstances, where I’m not protected’“ by the institutions that are supposed to protect its citizens? Carver encouraged farmers to look to the land for what they needed, rather than going into debt buying fertilizer (and paint, and soap, and other necessities—and food). Instead of buying the fertilizer that “scientific agriculture” told them to buy, farmers should compost. In lieu of buying paint, they should make it themselves from clay and soybeans.
So ends the excerpt. Dr. Carver understood way before what we think of as the modern environmental justice movement that liberation and conservation are entwined projects. The decisions we make for our families, for our communities, and for the planet all go together, and they all benefit from remembering interdependence and the long years of generations to come. Honoring the very beginnings of things, continuing to work on hopes that are barely tangible, believing in the distant future, allows us to live into Beloved Community. White Supremacy depends on the hurry-up-and-profit mindset that brought cracked eucalyptus logs to the Nevada desert. Beloved Community invites us to consider what may come from a seed.
Strong trees grow slowly. Strong communities learn and grow and make connections to other communities little by little over decades. Healing takes time. Repair takes time. And for all of these, we can’t always tell that it is happening. In most cases, we don’t see the seed unfolding under the soil. Our senses are not adjusted to notice the growth of trees right in front of us. Sometimes resilience is about knowing in your heart that change is possible, even when the evidence is not yet obvious.
The nearly imperceptible beginnings of change are also a theme in the earth-honoring holiday of Imbolc. The Celtic calendar where this holiday comes from is rooted in the seasons of light and dark of the northern hemisphere and the agricultural cycles of western Europe. At approximately the same time of year in the British Isles and here in the mid-Atlantic, the middle of winter means that we can start to perceive the time of sunrise and sunset edging toward spring, just a little more daylight each day.
February into March is the time of year when lambs start to be born, vulnerable and full of promise for the coming spring. It’s still cold outside! One theory for where the word Imbolc comes from is that it’s related to the word for sheep milk. The lambs need a lot of help to stay warm and to survive. Yet their arrival shows the persistence of life. Sometimes resilience is about remembering that life is possible.
This is also the time of year when people who grow vegetables in climates like ours make a plan for the next six months, gathering seeds, starting a few indoors, and figuring out how to make the most of the soil and sun that will be available later. Making plans at this in-between time of year takes courage.
For earth-honoring folks in Celtic traditions, the goddess Bridget (and, in her later form, St. Bridget of Kildare) is associated with this early February holiday. In the legends, Bridget protects access to clean, healing water. She is also a figure of light and flame. When you put fire and water together, you can make entirely new things out of what you had before. You can forge iron, cook food, sculpt clay and fire it into ceramics. Maybe this transformative potential is why Bridget is also associated with childbirth, poetry, healing, song, and art.
There is one thing that newborn lambs, vegetable seeds, soup ingredients, raw iron, and future poetry all have in common: They don’t look at the beginning the way they are going to look at the end. You have to have some hope and imagination to believe in the transformation that is coming. You have to keep doing what you are doing, when the evidence for success has not yet appeared. We need to hold on through the long term, through step-by-step processes, through the discomfort of growth and change. And so another thing we learn at Bridget’s holiday is the need for commitment.
If we’re paying attention to a legendary figure of generosity, art, and transformation, it’s a good idea to listen to the voices of poets who figured out how to sustain themselves and their families and communities through difficult times. During Black History Month, we are reminded of many examples of poets and artists who showed and inspired perseverance as they provided hope and imagination about a better world that was not yet fully manifest.
Back in October, on Vote Love Day, we heard about the story of Frances Ellen Watkins Harper. She was born in Maryland in 1825 to free parents, was educated at her uncle’s school, and had published a book of poetry by the age of twenty. She became a full-time lecturer and writer, and she was an activist for abolition and for economic self-determination in the Black community. One verse of her 1895 poem, “Songs for the People,” [more on that poem here] reads:
Our world, so worn and weary,
Needs music, pure and strong,
To hush the jangle and discords
Of sorrow, pain, and wrong.
Harper was well aware of the injustice, economic inequality, and violence that still plagued the cities and towns where she toured. She didn’t fail to address any part of that system in her other writing. Yet she still saw a place for music and art. For Harper, poetry was not a distraction from building the Beloved Community, but one of the technologies that can help bring it into being. Out of intangible words and ideas are woven a network of visions that lift up possibilities for liberation.
Good things grow from beginnings that are not yet obvious. The forces that will become spring are already at work under the snow in the middle of winter.
On the Jewish calendar, we’ve recently passed the holiday of Tu B’Shevat, the new year of trees. This is a minor holiday. It’s been around for hundreds of years, yet more people seem to be noticing it as we learn to connect spirituality with care for the earth. Sometimes people in Jewish homes and communities gather to eat different kinds of fruit and nuts, to give thanks for ways of growing, and recommit to stewardship of the planet. In regions where it makes sense, Tu B’Shevat is a time to plant trees.
Clearly, looking out the window today, it is not the right time to plant a tree where we live. Nevertheless, in our gratitude for trees, we are reminded of the growth and the fruition of work that exist because of what has come before. The forces that create and uphold life and our ancestors who cooperated with them knew that growth and resilience don’t always look that way from the outside. They knew that growth can start with something tough or plain. They knew the importance of allowing time and of giving thanks.
We drink from wells we did not dig and eat from trees we did not plant. As a community, part of our task is to muster the hope and imagination it takes to consider growth and resilience over time. We think long-term. We honor beginnings of change, even when they are hidden or barely perceptible. Let us be mindful of the impact of our choices, now and in the generations to come.
May it be so.
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so you wanna revolution (but everyone’s being so mean)
this post is a response to a lot of little flare ups that have happened in the past few weeks, but most particularly this post, and responses like these. my usual approach whenever someone has an opinion in front of me in this septic tank of opinions is to just ignore them to death, but this line of rhetoric has been flying around a lot lately, and isn’t going away anytime soon. i don’t think banging my head against this particular pinata will finally break it wide open to reveal the sweet sweet candy of complete and total anti-racism, but as an ally in this fight i’d still rather it be MY head instead of, say, someone with even less time and mental energy to spare, and more cranial trauma.
you all want a civil, even-handed explanation for why you need to put aside your opinions and hurt feelings and just learn? why these activists aren’t giving you the patience and understanding you feel you deserve? then let’s unpack this shit.
for the sake of argument i’m gonna take it as a given that the allies who protest that they’d be better at helping/more people would help if everyone were nicer to them ARE coming from a place of sympathy and desire to help. i’m not here to question anyone’s motives: i’m sure you’re also heartbroken about senseless black death and have been shaking your metaphorical fist at the injustice. but i want to dig a little deeper to figure out why your sympathies manifest so frequently and comfortably in critiques of how people talk to you/other theoretical allies rather than actions or conversations that actually dismantle the systems you’re supposed to be against, and to do that, i’ve laid out a few things that motivate comments like the above.
1) Don’t I have a right to feel hurt when someone is mean to me?
this is already a very commonly discussed point. yes! you do. but get a god damn sense of perspective about it, people are dying. it is perfectly normal–particularly if you’re coming from a position of privilege–to feel shocked or hurt when someone brusquely corrects you for doing/saying something you thought was on the level. no one is asking you to get rid of these feelings (at least, not all at once); what we ARE asking is that you not make the whole thing about your hurt feelings, rather than trying to learn from the critique. derailing productive discussions about what you’re all ostensibly here to do (ie., antiracist activism) so you can bicker over Robert’s Rules does not a good ally make. when you do that, you are implicitly declaring that there is nothing in the world so important that it can’t be postponed in favor of how YOU feel. your feelings cannot be more important than black lives. if the implication is that you won’t help if people are mean to you, you are essentially trying to hold the movement hostage for the sake of your own feelings.
2) We’re all working together. Shouldn’t I get equal say in how we do things?
short answer: no. long answer: if you’ve just jumped onboard the antiracism train, it might help to think of it as a skill that you need to practice and develop like any other. activism requires training and work, and the people who have been doing it for longer generally tend to be better at it. you should try listening to them and thinking about what they say instead of going with your gut response, because your gut response at the moment of criticism is most likely guided by emotional defensiveness. this doesn’t mean that you don’t get ANY say; saying something wrong and being corrected is an essential and constructive part of the process, but Jesus CHRIST learn to read the room. if you’re with people who have been immersed in this work for years, try LEARNING from them instead of criticizing the way they say things. if you all can appreciate asshole artists, critics, and comedians in other aspects of culture, you can definitely learn from activists who don’t have the patience to hold your hand every time you make a mistake.
3) You catch more flies with honey–that’s just how the world works.
sure, okay–i want you to take a moment to recognize the incredible gall and presumption to come freshly into a history and movement that has existed in some form for more than FOUR HUNDRED YEARS and speak to it as if it has no experience with “how the world works.” what you are just now realizing might be an actionable issue is a lived reality every day for black people. the fact that you immediately feel comfortable telling them how to secure their liberation and aren’t comfortable when they correct you is the height of white privilege. this is how knowledge and politics get colonized: colonizers come in under the guise of “helping,” adopt a position that they say is more “rational” or “worldly” compared to that of the colonized, and try to take it over for the colonized’s “own good.” if you are in fact trying to help marginalized people improve their situations, DO NO PRESUME to know how to address their problems better than they do. and if someone calls you out on it, learn to be better.
4) Shouldn’t we be on the side of reasonable discussions? People don’t learn from being namecalled a white supremacist, even when they get over themselves.
you know what? you’re right. education is a hugely important part of activism, and even beyond that, the cohesion and efficacy of activist movements do depend on its members treating each other with a certain generosity. black people have shown us a remarkable level of generosity by letting us–those who have been complicit in their oppression for centuries–into their movement, teaching us how to be most constructive and forgiving us when we make mistakes. so practice being generous to THEM instead of demanding more from them. recognize that it takes an immense amount labor to offer well-thought-out critiques to your shitty actions, and even more to have a long conversation with you. realize that attempting to communicate to you why you should care about their lives and livelihood is a deeply painful and traumatic experience. have some of the fucking empathy that you’re demanding from them! think about how terrible you’re feeling about all the 2020 tumult, and then think about how everything that’s happened this year has been orders of magnitude worse for the black community, and how terrible they must be feeling as a result. think about the fact that these moments of high activism DO NOT LAST FOREVER, so many activists are rightly prioritizing direct action and do not have time to guide you through your emerging wokeness. of course learning about why what you did was wrong is important, but the right way to do that is not to pester black people to educate you. the resources are out there. other, more experienced allies are out there. if you’re behind in a class, the solution isn’t to demand that the rest of the class stop to help you–the responsibility is on YOU to do the extra work to catch up.
5) But aren’t I being generous already? I’m offering to help these people even though I’ve never done anything wrong to them.
short answer: go fuck yourself! long answer: yeah, let’s go back to the “name calling” thing again. i fail to recognize why it’s so difficult–particularly for predominantly queer and/or feminist spaces–to recognize complicity and privilege in THIS arena compared to all others. we don’t say “not all white people” for the same reason we don’t say “not all men” or “not all straights” or “not all cis”–because white supremacy is baked into every aspect of our lives. it is inescapable. white supremacy cannot be restricted by the things other, cartoonishly racist people do. it is blood that is on ALL our hands, and we benefit from it daily. it IS uncomfortable to realize when you’re not the oppressed but an oppressor in a situation, but the way to resolve that is to sit in that discomfort, and learn to be better.
so the next time someone sharply corrects you, or tells you to check your privilege, and you’re upset about it, remind yourself that it is NOT ABOUT YOU. you are literally here because it’s unfair that so many things ARE about you. watch this video to remind yourself of what’s at stake! (it’s also in gif form!) revisit these slides about what you’re experiencing! (they were made by a high schooler, so you can really put yourself in that education mindset.) sit and process that feeling and learn why you were wrong without getting publicly defensive or asking a black person to coach you through it. donate to some MutualAid funds, legal defense funds, and personal fundraisers. badger some elected representatives about defunding the police. and realize that you’re still alive. you lived. you learned how to do better, and it didn’t kill you, and there’s still so much to do.
and if that still isn’t sitting well with you, you can also try eating an entire dick.
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❆ SEATTLE (ep1): arrival feat. diary pages!
HERE WE ARE! Finally starting my 1st post of my February 2019 Seattle-Vancouver trip!
For those who were wondering how I remember things. .. I actually keep a diary for every trip. The format of the diary is different from trip-to-trip depending on the length.
For example, for my short trips, I have ~5x7inch notebooks, & I spend time late in the night to write..... lol & then for my Korea trips, I actually don’t have a “notebook” but rather, I have a folder that contains my itinerary, & I modify as needed as I go through the trip :D eventually, the days kinda blur together but these help me remember what I did each day & it works hand-in-hand with my photos! A lot of ppl record digitally (ie: via phone) but I prefer writing. Every wrinkle, tear, or stain on the page is part of the trip :P
For the 1st time in history, I’m sharing some pages from my diary haha
I like sticking to black pen. The coloured ‘pens’ are Mildliners by the Zebra brand that my friend Clara got me years ago. I rarely use them but I brought them along on my trip.
My diary contains mostly writing but I have some illustrations as well bcos I like drawing. They’re very simplistic! I’d say about 85% writing + 15% drawings.
I also have stickers. Some are flat & later added when I return home), some are stickers I buy during my trip that I find nice/appropriate. .. I also have some washi tape that I use as borders as well.
In any case, let us begin!
Leaving for a trip is always sooooo exciting.
But little did I know. .. I was actually wanting to come back half way thru the trip.. .
Oh yeah! Did I mention this wasn’t a solo-trip?
I went for this 9 day trip with a former university classmate (I’ll refer to her as DL) since she had the same vacation slot as me.
A part of the Edmonton Int’l that I haven’t been to before- this was the US flights wing.
Our flight to Seattle was at 1335h (& yes, there was a delay); so this was like our light lunch since we both ate before heading to the airport.
When we looked at the different flight options, it was the cheapest (/worked out best) when we did 3 one-way flights for our 2-destination trip. Edmonton to Seattle, Seattle to Vancouver, & then Vancouver back to Edmonton.
1st time on Alaska Airlines~ DL & I weren’t seated together bcos we booked our flights separately.
(Edmonton in February 2019)
Took this shot when the aircraft was really tilted; it was weird. But the shot came out looking kinda cool!
After 1.5hrs: 1st glimpse of Seattle.
We didn’t have any checked in luggage so from getting off aircraft to going thru immigrations to finding the car-pool service parking lot area, it all went smoothly, & we united with our driver rather quickly.
We used a service called Lyft; DL had friends who used it & said it was good. It’s like Uber basically & she installed the app & everything before our trip so we were all set once we landed.
Leaving the SEA-TAC airport via the highways. Do you see the Space Needle? Our hotel was located just a few blocks away from it (<15min walk).
We witnessed rush hr traffic >.<
Our driver was an African lady named Africa. She was nice! She said she doesn’t have a lot of Canadian passengers bcos most are from British Columbia so they all drive down to Seattle due to convenience.
Made it to the downtown core. The driver told us the trip was shorter than usual... Some days, it takes like 3x our duration :O It took approx. 35mins & you know what I liked most about the ride? On the highway & merging into the downtown area, there was a “Special” lane where it’s for buses & 2-persons car pool :O it’s a weird concept but hey! It worked out for us. So normal vehicles & car pool vehicles carrying more than 2 passengers, they have to use ‘normal’ lanes. Buses & car pool vehicles with only 2 passengers can use the ‘special’ lane & travel at a higher speed limit!
Downtown street view 1
Downtown street view 2
Downtown street view 3
Passing by Amazon Spheres.
Almost there!
That’s “our” Walgreens. Our hotel was across the Walgreens.
I don’t actually have a front view of our hotel o_O but anyway, it’s called Hyatt Place Seattle.
Lobby 1
Lobby 2
We were in Room520: a standard room with 2 queen beds. For 4 nights, we paid $810 (CAD), so that’s essentially $100/night per person.
Room shot 1
Room shot 2
Room shot 3 (this last photo was taken from a L-shape couch, which I unfortunately don’t have a photo of but you can see it in the next video!)
That concludes the 1st arrival post. We did some unpacking, & then off we went for dinner & art museum!
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Reaction Redux (I know it doesn’t make sense but it sounds cool)
Alright, here is my initial reaction to Putting Others First: Selfishness vs Selflessness Redux.
It’s finally here, I’ve watched it a total of two times and currently have it on in the background as I type this, and I have a lot of feelings. All of which would be too much for one post, so after I do this I’ll be making a few separate posts addressing certain points I’d like to expand on further.
So what I’m going to do is have the video playing as I write this out, that way I don’t miss out anything I wanted to discuss. Basically it’s not gonna be a full on analysis, just a lot of random ramblings with what I hope are some insightful gems sprinkled throughout. Consider these my notes for all my future serious analysis posts.
Good? Great. Let’s go.
(Also spoilers under the cut)
So, how did I feel as I watched the video for the first time? Well considering I got the notification for the video while I was still at work, I couldn’t get as excited as I wanted to be about it because I didn’t get off until 8pm and had to deal with one too many dunderheads so I was pretty grumpy once I got off.
However, as soon as I got home and retreated to the safety of my isolation fortress (aka my bedroom) I was finally able to get excited as I got on my laptop and pulled up the video and let me just say I was a mess the entire time.
I missed my boys!!! I knew they wouldn’t all be present, but I still missed my boys!!! And I loved seeing them again!!!
First things first, that song at the beginning! I think it’s called Review Redux (correct me if I’m wrong) it’s such a freaking bop and I wish it was longer because I could listen to it all day. I loved the artwork and little details that went into their characters, and how each of the circles represented who was singing/talking by their colors. Fun stuff and a great way to recap everything! As well as foreshadow things to come within the episode…
“If our goals aligned with his what would that say?” Roman you’re in for a rude awakening bud…
Also, the little moment near the beginning where Patton is about to shut Thomas’ negative thinking down, but stops himself and allows Thomas to explain why he feels that way. Showing that he’s learned to ease up just a little since he learned to do so in Dealing With Intrusive Thoughts. Good for you Patton.
Speaking of Patton, oh he is so confused. I understand where he’s coming from, and honestly everything he said are things I have been taught growing up, and this is something I’ll address in another post because I have a lot of things to say about it. But just know that I adore the development Patton has been going through and watching him grow and mature.
Oh yes, I must mention I was pleasantly surprised to see Logan. I didn’t think he’d show up in this episode, or at the very least have a brief appearance, but I love how he took part and by far the funniest part in this episode (to me) is when he had so much to say in one little post that it popped up and hit Patton in the nose. It was one of the few moments where I laughed out loud and I rewound it a few times on my first viewing.
Plus Thomas being more concerned about the blinds than Patton. My type of humor. And Roman actually gets to use his sword for once, good for him!
(Funny enough as I typed this the video got to that part at the exact same time so I got a nice little laugh again)
Which brings up my next point: Logan getting yoinked after Patton skips his dialogue. No one talks about how he does his little impression of that philosopher, am I the only one who found that utterly adorable?
Let Logan geek out over philosophers please. He clearly loves it so much.
Then we get to Roman believing he’s the one responsible for everything, wanting to give up the driver’s seat to Patton. And just… This exchange of dialogue:
Thomas: “Roman, I only mean well when I say…”
Thomas: “That that is the stupidest thing you have ever said.”
Roman: “Oh Thomas, you’re just blowing smoke.”
I don’t know why I enjoy this so much but I do. Give me more of this. I crave it now.
And I just need to make a whole post about Patton in this video, there is so much to unpack with him alone.
Looking back and noticing that Thomas only starts listening to Logan after he’s been replaced by Deceit kinda hurts.
Speaking of which, can we appreciate how much better Deceit has gotten at impersonating Logan? Looks like he took Roman’s advice and focused on the little things. Good for him.
Alright, one of my absolute favorite parts from this episode and where things really start to shine: Patton freaks out and turns into a giant frog because he’s so desperate to have an answer for them he flips and honestly, sounds a little crazy. Which, I don’t know why but I find it both menacing and hilarious at the same time?
Also the fact he turns into a frog because he was talking about Frogger earlier, nice touch! (And Lilypadton that’s so cute)
Then we get probably the single greatest character entrance in the history of character entrances. We find out that Deceit finally reveals himself and steps in to stand up to Patton and get him to see how his actions have been having a negative effect on Thomas.
The way his voice changes from Logan’s to his own, his music kicking in, “The Lord of the Lies” oh my gosh it’s all just perfect! Also Roman’s “Reptilian Rapscallion! Reptilian Rapscallion! We’ve got a code yellow!”
And if I may:
Roman: “What have you done with Logan?!”
Deceit: “Nothing at all and I resent the question.”
WHAT DID YOU DO TO HIM YOU SNEK?!
(in all honest probably nothing but what if)
Important to note here that Roman instantly begins defending Patton from Deceit as soon as he accuses him of misleading Thomas. This goes to show just how much Roman views him as a villain. Or in other words: Patton, good. Deceit, bad. A viewpoint he continues to hold onto until the end of the episode, which also deserves it’s entire post because we all know how much turbulence that caused within the fandom.
And to the observant eye, you’ll notice that the cane (or staff) Deceit uses is the same one that dragged Logan off screen.
Frog puns. That is all.
I just, I love Deceit’s dialogue throughout this scene. It’s stuff I need to hear and tell myself on a regular basis. And I’d honestly rewatch this part (along with the rest of what Deceit and Logan say later on in the video) because it’s all something I need to also teach myself. But this ain’t meant to be a personal post so I’ll just move on.
Deceit’s walk towards the camera. I don’t know why. It’s so smooth. He’s amazing. I love him. Snek…
I have problems don’t @ me.
Also no one is mentioning the reference to that one “Turn based rpg” short that Thomas made with his friends and I find that sad because it’s a neat and fitting reference given the theme of this video. Also earlier on when the trolley problem is first brought up all the people on the bottom track are Thomas’ friends. Another neat little detail, though sadly, their digital selves perished.
PETER SINGER
Logan doesn’t seem to like Deceit much, not outright hate him or anything, but it’s more like he just tolerates him but doesn’t seek to get on good terms with him. Which is a shame because as both parts of SVS have proven, these two have the capacity to work together. Which is why I hope Logan gets a debate episode with him as well because out of all the Sides, these two have interacted the least and that needs to be remedied (especially when they’re my two favorites)
Deceit is trying to make Roman understand, but he’s so caught up in this black and white thinking that he disregards everything Deceit says! Why? Because the last time he tried to hear Deceit out he was reprimanded. (In other words, I relate to Roman so much in this that it hits a little too close to home and I’m definitely making a separate post about this.
Deceit: *confused* Trees?
And I’m so glad I found out I’m not the only dunce who thought Deceit’s name was going to be written on his hand…
But seriously this whole moment, with the buildup, Deceit’s reluctance to share his name, the music, I’d put it up there with Virgil’s “I was one of them” for best Sanders Sides scenes.
Also, Deceit’s name is Janus! I was a little iffy about it at first, but since I didn’t ever really have a prediction for his name, I wasn’t disappointed and the name is growing on me.
And then, the moment of trust is immediately ruined by Roman laughing. Dude, come on. (again though, post for another time because I understand where Roman is coming from here)
In all seriousness though I just love the last bits of this episode. The emotion, the angst, it doesn’t hold back and I appreciate the team taking things a step further than normal. Usually, moments like this are followed up by a joke to play it off, but they don’t do that after Roman sinks out. They stay in the moment until it’s had time to sink in. I wish the episode had ended a little more somberly, but I think this is a good step in the right direction. Showing that there won’t always be a 100% happy conclusion to things. Sometimes you need to take time in between to figure things out.
This line: “Do you think there’s a limit to how many times someone can say sorry before you have to admit that they’re just bad for you?” This line is so important to me within the context of the episode and outside of it. I won’t get too personal but I will say that I was raised to believe that if a person wronged me in any way, that if they said sorry, I had to forgive them. Even if they did the same thing over and over and over again. As long as they apologize, you have to forgive them and move on. And that has messed me up in so many different ways, especially when those people are family.
Janus sums it up best with “It depends” because yes, some people make the same mistakes again and again. But there’s a difference between someone trying to change and accidentally falling back on old habits, and someone taking advantage of your “forgiveness” that they continue to do those hurtful things because they know they can get away with it and not have to change.
Also, while it’s totally fine for people to dislike Patton, I can’t understand how anyone could watch this episode and claim that he’s still the same as he was at the beginning of SVS Part One because he has changed. He has finally realized just how much he’s been hurting Thomas, and even Roman. He sinks out at the end to apologize to him, he recognizes his faults, and he’s seeking to make amends. He wants to do the right thing here, and keep in mind that recently a lot of his views (which are also Thomas’ views) have been flipped on their heads and they both need to rethink some things. It’s part of growing up and becoming your own person.
I need to make a whole post about the more personal things that I got from the last three episodes (excluding Asides) because there’s just so many important things these episodes teach and I feel the need to address them.
Also everyone sleeping on the fact that Leslie Odom Jr. just casually makes an appearance and attempts to start a pilot episode for his own series “Odom Sides” which I wish him luck on. He just wants to be in the room where it happens.
Everything Patton did was for Thomas, so he wouldn’t be left in the dark again. He promised to keep fighting but ultimately, ended up fighting himself. Am I deep yet?
“Those imperfections don’t make you any less worthy of love” can you tell how much this episode means to me yet?
Janus’ “I’ll take care of him.” Ack, he just cares so much… My gosh… Where did this character come from and what did he do with the slimy boi? (I mean that in two different ways)
Oh, there he is. That’s my boi.
“There are smarter ways to get people to do what you want anyway.”
“There are much less barbaric, much more fun, forms of sabotage.”
Parallels? Maybe? What the heck I love Janus whether he’s encouraging Thomas to look after his mental health or plot his schemes in the shadows. Do I trust Janus? Oh heck no, of course not. There is something suspicious going on here and I both love it and hate it. More on that in a different post though.
“You’re not stuck with an evil snake boi. You’re just stuck with a snek boi.”
Yes Thomas, continue to overthink every little issue until it results in a mental breakdown. Hm, sounds like what someone with anxiety does… I suppose that’s why this series exists.
Okay call me a bad person but I almost always space out during Thomas’ messages to the viewers at the end of the videos. I don’t know why but I cannot focus on them to save my life and usually end up skipping past them to get to the end card. I dunno, maybe because it takes me out of the moment? Especially during episodes where they don't’ address the audience at all and then suddenly “Oh yeah! This is a Youtube series lol” it just feels out of place in more story driven episodes like this one.
Okay am I the only one that’s kinda creeped out by Lee and Mary Lee? I dunno they just seem, off. Like if they were characters in a horror movie they’d be that overly nice couple that turn out to be the killers. Those are the vibes they give me. Maybe it’s because I have zero people skills due to being homeschooled all my life and the only social interaction I get is with coworkers so I dunno. They still creep me out. They creep me out more than Remus. And he legit freaked me out for a bit before he stole my heart. (I suppose this means I need to make a separate post about these two because I do have some opinions about whether or not it was a good idea to actually include them at the end. When I said I had too many thoughts about this episode I meant it)
And if the end card is any indication, I’m going to assume that the Sides are invisible to everyone except Thomas. Unless they’re just “observing” and not even Thomas can see them at this point, given he shows no indication of seeing or hearing them there. Maybe they get to choose when they’re visible? Or Thomas does? I dunno, the rules of this universe have never been clearly stated and are inconsistent.
I didn’t expect Patton to be the first to accept Janus, and I’m kinda glad I was proven wrong. It does seem fitting with Patton’s growth and I liked their little moment at the end.
And that wraps up my commentary. I hope you found something in this mess of, things. I plan to go more in depth with my separate posts which I’m going to have fun writing, so be on the lookout for those!
Also at the time of writing this I now have 63 followers?! Thank y’all so much! I never thought this blog would get this far and I’m so glad it did because I’m having a lot of fun with it and hope to bring out more content regularly! Again, thank you!!
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