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#So maybe it could have been a different name????????
nouearth · 2 days
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— “The Boy Next Door.”
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pairing. alan ritchson x male reader headcanon.
summary. with his profile brewing in hollywood, projects are consistently lining up for alan, and the last thing he needs is a new roommate getting in the way of his stress. unless, reader finds himself becoming alan's personal stress-ball?
content warning. camboy!au, camboy!reader, top!alan, bottom!reader, food!play (cucumber as dildo), muscle worship, size difference, spitting, oral (r!giving on dildo), dirty talk, verbal, masturbation, alan and reader are roommates.
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moving in.
roommate!alan who surprises you with his massive stature when he greets you on move-in day.
it was jaw-dropping. well, almost so. you were luckily aware enough to catch the slack of your jaw from relaxing any further. any second longer, and you would've been hypnotized into submission by the man's brawn physicality; massive chest, bulging arms, and thick fingers—traits you would find yourself drooling about.
"hey, uh... (m/n), right? is that how you say your last name?" "spot on! and... alan. man, your name already sounds like a celebrity, i'm jealous." "haha, hopefully the casting directors feel the same way."
roommate!alan who helps you with your luggages without a single request from your end.
aside from being eye-candy, alan utilized his muscles for the greater good and brought your belongings from the trunk of your car, to the front of your door in a matter of minutes. even when you pleaded him not to, he went on ahead while urging you to take a rest after the long drive across the city.
you complained, though half-heartedly because your ass was sore from driving all day. his massive arms were a distraction as the veins surged through every muscle of fiber like lightning.
"you really didn't need to do all of that—" "hey, you're saving me from shelling out an extra thousand by being my roommate. plus, you seem... normal? that's the least i could do." "normal? pft, i don't know about that. but i will say, your kind gestures have put you on my 'no-kill' list." "let's backpedal a bit. is it too late to kick you out?"
roommate!alan who has already taken a liking towards you in the few hours you two have spent together to unpack.
saying that people 'stared' at alan would be underplaying what they've actually done. it was a daily occurrence to catch people gawking at his stature. whether it was with astonishment, intimidation, lust, or hostility, all eyes were on him, collective eyes and gasps piecing together how a man could look the way he does. some whispered 'steroids', others envied his dedication.
as uncomfortable as it could be at times, he liked the attention knowing he'd be the subject of one's conversation to another friend.
with you, it was no different. he'd caught you several times staring at his arms from across the room. or maybe it was his shoulders? how they perfectly filled his shirt out from seam to seam? either way, you were enchanted, especially when he'd nonchalantly flex his muscles every now and then in hopes he'd catch your eye.
and he could say the same about himself when he'd catch you bent over, ass raised high while you dug inside of your boxes to unpack the remaining decor you had brought with you.
until that moment, he never noticed how much smaller you were compared to his, the top of your head barely meeting his chin if he was to line you up. how much of a desire had awakened to have you in his arms, just to see how you perfectly fit into his body.
getting to know each other.
roommate!alan who has already learned of your habits, likes and dislikes, and hobbies within a few weeks of you moving in.
it was the small stuff that you found yourself gushing over. you two almost always had dinner together on the couch. condiments on the side for you, ketchup over his fries for him.
whether it was homemade or takeout, the best memories being made between the two of you were simply eating in front of the tv and watching alan's roles despite his reluctance.
you would cheer whenever he appeared on the screen, the camera somehow making him seem smaller than he appeared to be in real life. it was impressive, and once again, you found yourself drawn to the sheer size of muscles beside you.
throbbing, even at the simplest touch, as he gave your shoulders squeeze amidst passing by you to collect your plate.
"have to head to bed early. got an audition in the morning." "awesome! was this the one you were telling me about earlier?" "yep. i worked with the director once, so fingers crossed?"
roommate!alan who can read your body language early on, and senses that you're hiding something from him.
it was that one question that either turned you into stone, or a babbling buffoon as you would try to avoid the subject.
your occupation.
he didn't know much other than the fact that you worked from home, which was why your bedroom was so intricately set up like a tech start-up.
four different types of cameras, a gaming chair, several monitors for one pc; it was intricate and honestly, alan didn't really understand it.
"so, you don't have to say yes or no, but..." "hm..?" "are you a youtuber? like, one of those tech guys who reviews new phones and stuff?" "something like that, i guess?" "is it mentally draining?" "more so... physically?"
roommate!alan who asks about your day after coming home from a shoot.
you looked exhausted, drained, wrecked—images of you that he never thought would rile him up. yet, as you groggily came out of your room with flushed skin, and a thirst that needed to be quenched, alan was equally parched just watching you recover your breath in between gulps of water.
cluttered state of mind.
roommate!alan who merely offers you a look of annoyance when you greet him after he arrives home.
you've recognized that look by now, and all you could simply provide was his dinner plate, and a sympathetic pat on the back.
"listen, i know a friend and he has a mutual that can help you—" "not in the mood right now, (m/n)." "just trying to help, alan."
roommate!alan who ends the night early, leaving you on the couch with his plate left untouched.
it was awkward, to simply put it. the show you put on happened to be the one he was auditioning for, and then ultimately flunked because he forgot his script. from the corner of your eye, you could see his jaw tightening, straining, fork scraping against the ceramic plate as he pushed the fried rice in a corner, and then eastward, because that corner was empty.
though, is it wrong to say that you found it hot? if only there was a less forward and awkward way of saying, 'hey, i'd love to take your mind off of things right now. let me suck you off.'
secret unlocked.
stressed!alan who spends half-an-hour in the shower contemplating whether this career was worth it.
countless of potential roles never making it pass the call-back stage; he was growing exhausted from it. driving from city to city, filling his car with gas that would amount to nothing in the end. he could only stretch his royalties out for so much longer, and—
no, he wasn't a quitter. the last time he felt like this, the next audition was a success. if predictions are right, he'd consider this madness a sign of luck, at least for the meantime.
stressed!alan who needs something to take out his frustration on.
maybe he should head to the gym? no, he already showered. and it was already getting too late for his liking to drive back and forth at this time, even if he wasn't tired.
at the corner of his eye, his laptop glinted with a sparkle.
some good porn would fix him.
stressed!alan who has one hand down his sweats, and the other calmly scrolling through his favorite cam site.
his lips grew chapped, licking them from time to time as he watched the page load without the decency to sugar-coat its offerings. his sight was immediately assaulted with moving thumbnails of women, and men under the spell of their own lust. some squirmed from the uncontrollable feeling of being filled, while others preferred talking to their patrons, touching themselves to the pixelated smut sent through the chat.
stressed!alan who has you on his mind despite the options to choose from, and he squeezes his large balls in his hand.
the cursor maneuvered respectfully around one performer’s breasts and another’s erection in its journey to the filter list. the drop-down menu pulled open and alan checked off the men within his age range. 
with a quick load, the website refreshed with a new assortment of performers, and his cock began to sprout at the moving thumbnails. his hand immediately began to feed his growing bulge with gentle squeezes and rubs as he scrolled what seemed to be endless cycle of camboys.
the sudden warmth of his clothes stuck uncomfortably to his skin. alan removed each article within seconds, yet the flush of his skin remained, ached as it yearned for the physical touch of the seductive men beckoning him.
stressed!alan who felt the world had stopped. the heat frozen in his cheeks, his hands equally mirroring as he hovered over a familiar face. strained, orbs dilated and wandering, and holy shit—so fucking inviting.
it was you.
stressed!alan who watches your stream for a few minutes to decipher if it was truly you before shamelessly stroking his cock after he confirms that it was.
sweat dribbled over your neck and body in diverging streams. your legs were raised on their own accord, thick thighs shaking from the muscles working overdrive to keep you still and perfectly centered before your webcam.
stressed!alan who couldn't believe what he was seeing. it all made sense now, why you were so reluctant to tell what you truly did.
you were a fucking whore. a whore for the internet for everyone to goon to, to cum to. he can imagine it now, how much pleasure you'd given these men as he watched you fuck yourself with a cucumber.
and he was one of them. alan's large cock was manhandled by his hand, stroking sloppily with an ample amount of lube squeezed over the flesh of throbbing muscle.
all those memories of you looking so wrecked came fluttering in. you looked wrecked because you were fucking wrecked.
by a fucking cucumber.
and alan has never been so envious of a vegetable despite eating them on a daily.
you were plunging your tight hole with a long cucumber, slickly lubed from the condom over the girth of the green plant. with every push of your wrist, your legs caved into the pressure to set themselves down, but every time the crown of the plant pressed into your prostate, you were reminded of the viewers who had been donating, their pop-up messages urging you to keep them up 'like a good boy.'
stressed!alan who jerks himself off to the rhythm of your wrist.
every time you sank the thick cucumber inside of you, alan paced himself to match your tempo, plunging himself into his closed fist, mimicking your refusing hole by opening his fingers one-by-one, until he had fully breached through.
stressed!alan who mutters to himself, who mutters words that you couldn't hear because you were busy pleasuring yourself for hundreds of men watching you.
"fuck yeah, take that dick..." "too big for you?" "fuck, we'll make it fit."
stressed!alan who imagines himself fucking into you.
he knew his cock was big. he'd been told countless of times, by men and women, and lots of time, they would quit a few minutes in because it was just too much.
but you, he was certain that you were able to take him. because—fuck—alan was bigger than that cucumber you were fucking yourself open with. it needed a glorious amount of lube, like what you had displayed before him, dripping heavily from your abused cavity, but luckily, you had experience in handling big sizes, right?
you'd take him, like the 'good boy' the users were spamming in the chatbox. you'd take him with your eyes forced shut from him stretching you out. from alan's impatience and reluctance to wait for you to adjust to him, because he's fucking furious at you.
why didn't you tell him sooner? why were you hiding this from him? how could you be so selfish and leave him blue-balled whenever you'd come out in those shorts of yours? teasing him with the smallest glimpse of your inner thighs?
if he could ever lay his hands on you, he'd show no mercy. fucking your ass doggy-style till your cheeks clapped. plunging you with his cock as you spread your legs open for him. locking your throat with his arm while he's under you, your back pressed to his chest, rendering you trapped within his embrace. you'd take his cock in every position, in every state, whether you'd like it or not, because you were a good, fucking, boy.
stressed!alan who spits on his cock because you began simultaneously filling your mouth up with a dildo.
spit. god, there was so much spit coming out of your mouth. you loved pushing yourself to the limit, alan could see it. the light leaving your eyes whenever you pushed the dildo a little too far to the back of your throat. that could be his cock, if you let him.
he imagined how warm your mouth would be. how perfectly shaped it's made for his thick, meaty cock. he had the perfect curve to make it a struggle to swallow him down, but like he noticed, you loved a challenge, didn't you?
alan's cock was plump, and beaten red in his hand. noises similar to the sound of you sucking off the dildo were made with his hand, his spit and lube sloshing together in a lewd symphony that could be heard from your room if you'd learn to shut up.
"choke on it, gag on that fucking dick..." "fuck yeah, spit on it." "good fucking boy."
stressed!alan who's nearing his climax from watching you tease the camera with your hole.
you repeated countless of profanities after every plunge of the cucumber flushing deep inside of you. you made sure to buy the girthiest one; they loved seeing your asshole gape at the end of the stream. twisting your wrist, you could feel the subtle ridges of the cucumber, violating your guts with its nature, and it was all-so glorious. the size, the texture, the viewers, the sound of donations coming in, the ‘thank you’ messages after for making them come; you were a true star within this community and it evidently showed when you finally hit your donation goal for the night.
alan fucked his fist, nearly coming to the sight of your gaping hole when you yanked the cucumber out of you like a sword-wielding knight ready to slay a dragon.
it was beautiful, watching you desperately hold onto the physical being of the cucumber, but all there was to it in the end was the memory of its girth. your hole was perfectly molded it, clenching and pursing, blowing fluttering kisses to the camera, to alan.
and if it was up to him, he'd ram his cock into you by now, not letting a second to spare in fucking you until your muscles felt like jelly, because fuck, you were so enticing like this. head lolled back, mouth open with your tongue hanging out as if you had a dripping cock to catch its cum above you.
the sound of donations kept chiming in, and alan knew he wasn't alone in this enchantment.
one more hit to your prostate, and you came undone in seconds. thick spurts of cum shot at your chest from your current position, then at your face when you raised your hips a little higher and pumped your cock with a ravishing fist. the sound of donations rang like a police siren. if you were being profiled for a crime, it was because you couldn’t hold in your cum any longer like one user had begged for you to.
stressed!alan who perfectly aligns his orgasm with yours and blows multiple loads on the screen on his laptop. his moans came out in hushed stutters, countering your choked whimpers that would then break out into begs for cum.
"fuck, fuck, fuck. i need your cum, i need it. give me all of it, fuck. all over my body. in my ass. on my face. i need that load."
his cum came out in thick, pulsating ropes, flying forward to land on the image of you resuming to fuck yourself to your audience's collective orgasm. this time, at a closer view, as you centered the camera to fill the stream with a screenful of ass and a gaping hole. it was your fans' favorite part of the stream, the chat exploding in several fire emojis and astonishment as you showed your pretty insides blooming for thick, endless spunk.
it was hypnotizing, almost as if you were really there before him.
with one hand, alan brought his laptop in between his legs, and smeared his own cum over the blooming resolution of his screen. feigning a breeding, he slides his cock over his cum, over his laptop screen, while you moaned in the background, begging lewdly for cum, to be filled, to be bred, to be dripping, to be fucked, and alan doesn't know what came over him, but another load automatically came out of him like some kind of spell.
"h-holy shit..." "fuck, yeah... give me that load, all your load... are my fans breeding me right now?"
alan painted you until you were practically hidden beneath the layers of his orgasm. translucent white blurred the screen, but he could still make out your silhouette. sitting now, exhausted, wrecked, evidently too tired to be bothered to clean up the mess you made on your body.
and just like that, his head felt lighter. all of his worries had left with every dump of load over your pixelated hole, and yours as well, as you leaned back to catch your breath with your eyes closed. his breathing matched the pace of yours, together, collectively, and all he could do was shortly laugh at the situation before him.
roommate!alan who greets you in the morning with a strange smirk as you made yourself breakfast.
"i can see why your job is physically draining now." "hm?" you yawned. "what are you talking—"
roommate!alan who pulls out a cucumber from the fridge, and cuts it into thin slices for his morning smoothie.
"i-i can explain—" "you can make it up to me tonight."
he popped a slice into his mouth after.
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nouearth. please do not repost, plagiarize, or translate my works. and if you like this story, please reblog and leave a like!
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not-neverland06 · 3 days
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How About a Nuke?
Part VIII / Part IX
(Completed) Series Masterlist
Cooper Howard x fem!reader, The ghoul x fem!reader A/N: PLEASE READ, we have reached the end of their journey and I am so sad/happy/excited about it. I don’t even know how to feel honestly. I just want to thank everyone who has commented, messaged or reblogged this story. Your kind words and funny little depressed memes have been really uplifting for me. I was actually considering just giving up on this blog when I posted the first chapter. I haven’t had much inspiration lately or interaction I feel like, and you all have helped reignite that spark within me. Summary: There’s something keeping you tied to Cooper Howard, an invisible string wrapped around you both. You’ve fought against it as long as you could but he’s not gonna let you fight for much longer.
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It’s been a month and the bounty on her head gets bigger everyday. Normally the compound hires privately, they don’t like going through the agencies. He figures with Sylvie dead they’re struggling to find a new leader and they’re falling apart. Or they’re just desperate for her head on a stick. 
He sees her face everywhere, crudely drawn images of her varying in their accuracy. In some she has a hat like his on, in others her nose is the wrong shape, or her eyes are all wrong. No one seems to have a good grasp on who she is. Out of curiosity and a strange need to know she’s still alive, he’s asked around. 
There are different rumors as to where she’s hiding out. Some think she’s taken to hiding out in the caves near Filly. Anyone with half a brain knows that the area’s overrun by irradiated bears and other mutated freaks. 
There are those that say they’ve seen her wandering through the sands. Following that lead had led him nowhere. He doesn’t know where she is and it’s driving him insane. She’s like a constant itch in the back of his mind that he just can’t scratch. Days and nights are spent thinking about her and he hates it. 
He’s not sure what he’d do when he does find her. Whether he’d shoot her to repay the favor or just tie her up to keep her from leaving again. He’s conflicted on how he feels about her. He’s bothered that he feels anything towards her at all. And he knows that when she shot him, she was shooting to kill. 
She had no way of knowing that he would heal from that bullet. She’d watched him bleed out on the ground and left him for dead. He was impressed, as much as he wanted to be mad, he was almost proud in a way. 
Throughout their tumultuous lives and times together she’d always had to be guided by him. He’d shown her the ways of whatever world they were living in. She’d relied on him and he enjoyed it. The time had to come when eventually she wouldn’t need him anymore. 
It’s outside of Filly that he finds the most accurate poster of her so far. She looks like she did in their first movie together. A proper outlaw, wanted all across the Wastelands for her crimes against a bunch of sick fucks. If he could kill Sylvie again, he would. He’d kill all of them. 
Not that he’s condemning them because of what the compound’s doing. He’s dabbled in organ trade before, eaten people, he’s done a lot of fucked up shit. But he draws the line at trying to hurt her. He’s the only one who should be allowed to fuck with her.
He takes the poster down and whistles softly at the price under her name. It’s enough to keep him happy for a longtime. If he never wanted to take on another bounty he wouldn’t have to. Course, he was never in this for the money. A man’s gotta have something to entertain himself with at the end of the world. 
He wonders if she’s even still alive. Maybe a Deathclaw got her a day after she left him behind. He could have walked past her corpse and never even known it. He folds the poster up and slips it in his bag. He doesn’t know why he bothers keeping it. Possibly because it’s the closest thing to her that he’s got, but he doesn’t feel like lingering on that thought for long. 
He tugs his hat lower on his head and heads through the tunnel leading to Filly. He’s caused a lot of issues here over the years. Usually he kills most of the people who could identify him as an instigator, but he doesn’t feel like pushing his luck today. He needs more supplies and he knows Ma June won’t sell to him if he causes a fight beforehand. 
It’s louder than normal today, more people rushing around. They’re all congregating around something in the center of the marketplace. He turns to the left, heading up the stairs to try and get a better look at what’s got everyone so excited. 
“They found her!” A boy shouts, fidgeting in his spot next to him. He glances at him from under his hat and the boy pales before scurrying away from him. His lips turn up in a cruel grin and he finally gets a good look at what’s happening. 
She’s kneeling in the middle of the marketplace, two Knights on either side of her. He’s more surprised by the fact that she actually has picked up a hat in her time away from him. 
She seems to be playing into the outlaw routine more than he thought she would. 
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You’re embarrassed, honestly, that you let these two idiots capture you. Them and their useless little squires. 
You’ve found odd jobs through the Brotherhood when they need assistance looking for relics of the old world. Though, you’re really not sure how much use a toaster oven can be to them, but they pay good money for it. 
Once your bounty was posted and they figured out who you were, though, that stopped being useful. You can’t even hunt bounties because the agencies would just grab you and turn you over to the compound.
They clearly didn’t give a shit about women, you don’t get why they’re making this whole Sylvie situation such a big deal. 
You had to bribe Ma June by buying some of her junk, but eventually she’d helped you find some work in Filly. The people here are stupid enough that they don’t recognize you when they see you. Most of them are high or drunk so the only thing you have to worry about is wandering hands and not stepping in the middle of their brawls. 
From the patrons of the bar you hear stories about yourself. How you slaughtered the entire compound, even the children, which is so far from the truth you can’t help but scoff. Or how you apparently slept with a ghoul and you're carrying his mutant baby. 
You don’t even know where they got that one from. 
They also seem to think you wander through the sands, shooting anyone who gets in your way. It’s a comfort that no one seems to have caught onto you yet. But it’s also disheartening to know that all that’s left of civilization is a bunch of psychopathic idiots. 
What happened to natural selection?
You know your stint in Filly is up when two Knights walk in, their squires struggling to carry their bags behind them. You pull your hat further over your head and duck behind the bar. You try to keep your back to them and let the old man, Marley, who runs the bar deal with them. 
His shaky voice is cautious as he greets them, “What are Knights doing so far out here?”
One of their distorted voices rings out through the, now quiet, bar. “We got bored. Wanted to shoot some shit.”
You roll your eyes and focus on cleaning the cup in front of you. You spit into it, not enough water to properly clean it, and scrub at it with a stained towel. Marley hums, clearly displeased with the answer. You can hear his tottering steps approaching you and wince, praying he’s not going to do what you think he is. 
He tugs on your shirt with a shaky hand and you slump forward in defeat. “Deal with these jackasses,” he mutters, taking drinks over to a different table. 
You pour the only alcohol the bar has into two cups and keep your head down as you approach. “Heard that a woman took over for Knight Damien.”
One of them scoffs and shakes his armored head, “What the fuck is this world coming to?” You don’t know how they’re planning on drinking their liquor with the helmets on but you’re not going to ask stupid questions. You drop the cups in front of them, but your hand slips and one of them tips over into a Knight’s lap. 
“I’ve got it, sire.” Their squire lunges forward and begins vigorously scrubbing their armor. Your face curls up in distaste and you’re about to walk away when a metal hand grips your wrist. 
“Holy shit, it’s her!” Oh, you’re so screwed. 
They’ve got a fucking leash on you, it’s humiliating. The scarred and dirt-covered faces of the citizens of Filly surround you. They’re all leering, shouting at you and begging the Knight’s to share in the bounty. But the Knight’s aren’t listening, they’re just congratulating each other. 
“What do you think they’ll give us?”
One of them shoves their squire and he goes toppling into his large bag, feet flailing in the air. “Hopefully better fucking squires. I’m getting sick of this one’s stupid face.” 
The squire kneels down and shouts in a shaking voice, “I’m sorry if I’ve disappointed you, sire!” God, you really hate these people. You wished they would just shoot you. Having to sit here and listen to them talk was making your brain go numb. 
The Knight’s distorted laugh rings out through his helmet. The other one glances over at you, “What do you think she did? I’ve never seen the compound this pissed off.”
“I dunno. Hey!” You know he’s talking to you, that they want an answer, you really don’t care to give them one. “What’d you do?” They stare at you for a moment and then he sighs when you don’t respond. He shoves his squire towards you and the kid goes stumbling over his feet. “Make her talk.”
He nods rapidly, head bobbing up and down. “Of course, sire.” Your hands twitch to your side and you give him a wicked grin as he approaches. 
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He’s debating going down there and trying to help her when the first shot goes off. He doesn’t even see it happen, he just watches as one of the squires drops to the ground. 
Those who don’t want to get caught in the crossfire are quick to move away from the area, hiding in their shops or shoving past him to get through the tunnel. He heads down the stairs, taking his time and trying to figure out where the shot came from. 
The second squire moves towards her and his head flies back, a hole between his eyes and his brains splattering across the ground. One Knight shoves the other one and points at their dead squire’s, “Did you not take her fucking gun?”
He’s been in those suits. He remembers how it felt, the power you get from being in them. How they make you feel like a big man. He also remembers how fucking slow they could be. She’s on her feet and running for cover before they can even start to grab her. 
She dives behind a stall and tugs a knife out of her boot, sawing at the ropes around her wrists. He can’t reach her before the fighting starts. Someone in the remaining crowd shouts, “Grab her! Get the bounty!” And all hell breaks loose. 
Someone runs at him and he shoots them before they can grab him. Shots start going off, the Knight’s mowing down anyone who tries to swoop in on their bounty. Everyone else is shooting blindly, just trying to get rid of the competition so they can claim her bounty as their own. 
He ducks under the hail fire and slides next to her as she’s reloading her gun. She glances over at him and frowns, “Didn’t I kill you?”
He hears a shout and watches as some half-feral woman charges at them. She shoots her dead and turns back to him. He gives her a wry smile, “You want to do this now, sweetheart?”
She peers over her cover and surveys the chaos going on around them. She sighs and glances back at him, “Why aren’t you dead?” 
He tugs one of his specially made bullets out of his bag and loads it into his gun. He lifts himself to his knees and aims at the weak spot on the Knight’s chest plate. They both watch as blood explodes out of the neck of the power armor, the Knight’s friend cussing as he watches him die. 
“Next time,” she turns to look at him, “aim for the head,” he instructs. She glares at him before making her way to Ma June’s shop. He follows, not willing to let her out of his sight again, and she ducks behind the barrels of supplies in front of the shop. 
“Clearly,” she winces as the Knight’s gun starts firing off again, “I’m not making it out of here on my own.” They dive to the side as bullets rip through the barrels they’re leaning against. They’re not gonna have cover for much longer.
He grins at her, “Sounds like you’re asking me for a favor, darling.”
The sounds of screams and bodies dropping is nearly deafening. A few feet away a bullet catches a man in the throat and he drops to the ground. They watch as he chokes on his blood and tries to claw his way to safety. Steps rapidly approach them and she turns to shoot a different man, his body dropping an inch away from them. 
He turns back to her and his lips turn down, “After you tried to kill me? You want my help,” he laughs at her and she glares. 
Before she can speak a voice rings out above them, “I got her!” He shoots at the woman on the upper level above them, half of her leg gets blown off and she tumbles over the railing, narrowly missing the pair. 
He turns back to her, “You’re asking a lot, darling.”
“You’ve fucking shot me, twice. I’m not asking you for anything.” Her lips turn down in a sneer and she looks at him like the very sight of him disgusts her. “I don't need your help. I don't need you.” She glances back over her shoulder, surveying the gore and the bullets flying around them. She checks her gun and he sees just how little ammo she has left. “I’ll handle this myself.” She snaps the chamber of her gun closed and moves to get up. He grabs her wrist and yanks her back down, ignoring the angry expression on her face. 
“Look, you might not want my help, but you need it, sweetheart. Just stay here.” 
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You watch as Cooper runs off, his guns firing before he’s even fully standing. You only wait a second before you’re running into Ma June’s and out her back door. She shouts at you as you barrel through her shop, knocking over her displays and shelves, but you can’t waste any time getting the hell out of dodge. 
You’re surprised Cooper was stupid enough to think you would actually wait for him. The Knight’s had called for an air evac out of Filly and if you stay there any longer you’ll be back in the compound before you can blink. 
You’ve spent a month evading them, you’re not about to let yourself get caught because of Cooper. 
You can’t believe he’s not dead. It’s not like you’ve been losing sleep over killing him, but it’s been hard to cope with the fact that you killed the man that was once the love of your life. Seeing him again, though, you wished you had shot him in his smug face. 
You’d forgotten, in the time apart, just how condescending he could be. He seemed to think you needed him to survive. You didn’t. 
At best, he provided the comfort of company. Poorly. 
Despite how much he undervalued you, you were perfectly capable of taking care of yourself. You didn’t need him to save you. You would have figured your way out of there on your own, eventually. You’ve handled yourself a month in the Wastelands without him. You learned how to carve an existence for yourself out here and you did it without help. 
You race into the woods beyond Filly, putting as much distance between you and the sounds of fighting as quickly as you can. The trees around you begin to shake, the ground vibrating and a swirl of dirt and leaves rises into the air and whips you in the face. 
You look up and begin pushing yourself faster. One of the Brotherhood’s Vertibird’s is circling Filly. “This is not a hostile landing! Please remain calm!” You blame your distraction on the announcement. 
You would have heard him coming up behind you if you hadn’t been listening to whatever the Brotherhood was saying. Rope loops around your arms and you’re yanked backwards. Your head thumps painfully hard against the forest floor, rocks scraping you as you’re dragged across the ground. 
Cooper’s face appears over yours, a cruel smile on his lips. “Now, this seems awfully familiar.” He walks around you, boots straddling your waist and grabs you by the front of your shirt, yanking you back to your feet. “I thought I told you to stay put, sweetheart.”
You frown at him, shoving your leg up between his. He groans, doubling over while you shimmy out of the loose rope. “Honestly, after all the shit that’s happened you think I’m gonna listen to anything you say?” You step back from him, brushing the dirt off your clothes as best you can. 
You sigh in frustration when you realize that when the Knight’s had grabbed you, you’d lost your supplies. Cooper looks up at you and scoffs, “Missing something?” You eye his bag on the ground and start to go for it. He pulls the hammer of his gun back and you glance towards him. You’d forgotten what a quick draw he could be.
He’s fully recovered now, eyes narrowed in on you and gun pointed right at your chest. “See, a bullet to the chest might not kill me, but I reckon it’ll do a hell of a lot of damage to you. Why don’t you back up for me, sweetheart?”
You let go of his bag and slowly back away from him. He keeps his gun trained on you and stoops down, throwing his bag back over his shoulder. Your eyes dart to the hat on his head and your lips curl up when you spot the hole you’d put in it. 
Two hundred years and he’s kept that hat nearly pristine, you take no small amount of pride in being the one to ruin it. 
“The Brotherhood will be swarming these woods in a few minutes. They’re not gonna be too happy about one of their Knight’s being dead. Come with me, I can help you out.”
You scoff, “Like I’ll ever trust you again. You’ve shot me, sold me, and left me for dead, Cooper.”
He huffs, eyes narrowing and lips curled in a sardonic grin. You can tell he’s getting pissed off. “The choice is yours,” he tucks his gun back in his holster and turns on his heels. You watch in surprise as he stalks away from you. You had fully expected him to put up more of a fight, it almost hurts that he left so easily again. 
Then you hear the sounds of orders being shouted behind you. Metal creaking and stomping through the underbrush and you realize he hadn’t left but forced you between a rock and a hard place. You could follow him or let yourself get captured by the Brotherhood. 
“Fuck,” you mutter under your breath. You risk a glance over your shoulder and spot a rapidly approaching party of squires. You run in the direction Cooper went and find him leaning casually against a tree, a satisfied look on his face when he spots you. “Don’t say a word,” you warn, shoving past him. 
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He glances at her from across the fire and finds himself feeling almost at ease for the first time in a month. It’s been a while since he’s looked up to actually find her staring back at him. She might look like she wants to kill him, but she’s here. 
“You have to admit, we make a pretty good team, darling.”
She gives him an unimpressed look, “Yeah, Cooper, we’re so great at murdering people.” She looks over to the dead bodies of the raiders they’d stolen this camp from and shakes her head. “I forgot how much death you surround yourself with.”
“I surround myself with? Might I remind you, you fired the first shot, sweetheart.” Granted, he had shoved her out of her hiding spot and given her no choice about it. 
Her head shoots up and she glares at him, “You made me!” She opens her mouth and he grins. He enjoys provoking her like this. Even if the last time he had she’d shot him because of it, but it’s fun to rile her up. She always gets so pissed off, it entertains him to no end. 
To his disappointment, she closes her mouth and shakes her head, choosing not to engage with him. He sighs and rips off a piece of jerky. “When did you turn into such a wet fucking blanket?”
Her eyes flare with anger, despite that, he can hear how hurt she really is. “Maybe when you sold me!”
He tilts his head and runs his tongue over his teeth, “You ever gonna let that go? I told you it was a mistake. How was I supposed to know they were gonna breed you like a prize pig?”
She scoffs, the noise high pitched and shocked. She shakes her head and stares at him with wide eyes, “You are unbelievable.” He shrugs and takes a swig from the flask he’d stolen off one of the raiders. He’s not sure how they make their alcohol, or if they trade for it, but it’s fucking disgusting. He frowns at the flask and drains the rest of it before tossing it into the woods behind him. 
She sighs and runs a hand over her face, her voice tired as she asks, “What’s the plan here, Cooper?” 
He picks at his teeth and shakes his head, “With what?”
She leans against the log behind her and gestures at herself. “With me. What, are you going to wait for me to pass out so you can tie me up and send me back to the compound? I’ve seen the price on my head. I know how valuable I am to everyone in the Wastelands.”
He doesn’t know why what she’s saying bothers him so much but it does. “You really think I’d send you back there?”
Her face is devoid of anything as she responds, “Why wouldn’t you?”
It’s the bluntness with which she asks that, that bugs him. Like there’s no other possibility but him betraying her. Taking advantage of her while she was vulnerable and weak and then handing her over to the people who want her dead. He wouldn’t do that to her. 
He didn’t go through all this fucking trouble to find her just to lose her again. He wants to tell her as much but she’s on her feet and grabbing her bag before he can. “Look, I appreciate the help today, but I’m not interested in starting this partnership back up again. I think it’s better if we just part ways.”
He whips his gun out before he can think about what he’s doing. She freezes, still bent over and eyes his gun warily. “I’m afraid that’s not an option, darling.” He can’t let her leave again. And maybe this isn’t the best way to go about it, but he doesn’t know how else to stop her. 
“You gonna shoot me, Cooper?” She whispers, her own hand twitching for the revolver at her side. He stands up and grabs her wrists, ignoring the way she struggles against him. He binds her hands with his rope and he sits back down, 
“I’m not gonna turn you in and I’m not gonna shoot you. But you’re not getting out of here that easy, sweetheart.”
Her eyes narrow in on his, her fists clenched tightly in anger. “I killed two men with my hands bound today. What’s stopping me from killing you?”
He shrugs, “Nothing. There’s nothing stopping you, just like there’s nothing stopping me. But I’m not killing you, am I? See,” he leans forward, “I’ve fought too hard and spent too much time looking after you to just let you go now. We’re in this together, whether you want it or not.”
Her lips split in a sneer and she throws herself down on the log. “You’re all the fucking same. You treat me like a goddamn dog that needs to be beat into submission. I’m not some misbehaving pet, Cooper!” Her eyes well up and her voice breaks, “You don’t get to just leash me and expect me to be okay with it.”
“I’m under no illusions that you’re happy here, sweetheart.” He runs a hand down his face and she shakes her head in disbelief. 
“Then just let me go,” she’s bordering on begging now and his chest squeezes the longer she stares at him with those pleading eyes of hers. It’s not something he’s familiar with, this feeling, this longing for her to just shut the fuck up and stop making this so damn difficult for him. 
“I can’t,” he mutters, wanting her to just drop it. 
“Why not?” She snaps, dropping any pretenses of trying to get him to sympathize with her.
He surges forward and grabs her by the jaw. Her eyes widen in shock and he smashes their lips together, teeth clashing painfully. There’s nothing gentle or sweet about this kiss. Her teeth are ripping into his scarred lips until the taste of copper is spreading on his tongue. He groans, digging his fingers into her cheeks until her lips part. 
His tongue probes against hers, the taste of his blood spreading into her mouth as well. She whimpers, the noise stirring something in him he’d forgotten about. There’s an old desire bubbling in him that’s making him blind to the rest of the world. He wants her, more than he ever wants to admit. 
He’s wanted her for a long time before this and they both know it. How hard he’s fought against it, against moments like these. He didn’t think he was still capable of this feeling, this desire for her. But it’s consuming. She’s ruining him, running him in circles until he thinks he’s going insane. 
But it’s not the same gentle passion it once was. It’s as twisted as he’s become. The desire to possess, consume, covet until she’s his and only his to do with what he wants. His teeth dig into her, letting her blood overcome the taste of his own. He groans, his free hand grabbing her waist and yanking her closer. 
She tastes so much sweeter than he does, he wants to rip a chunk of her off and eat her whole. He’s so distracted he doesn't even notice her pulling out her gun until he’s shooting back from her. He lands roughly on the forest floor and groans, hands clutched over the bleeding hole in his gut. Pain radiates through his abdomen and he rolls onto his side.
He looks up at her in shock. She’s spitting their blood onto the ground, her bound hands wiping at her lips. “Asshole,” she mutters. She tucks her gun back in her holster and looks over at him. 
His eyes are wide in disbelief as he struggles to sit back up. The movement causes another wave of pain and he hisses through gritted teeth, “You shot me!”
She rolls her eyes and gives him a blank look, “You’ll live.” He limps back to his own seat and lifts his shirt, watching as the hole closes over slowly and the blood stops leaking. She watches as he heals and sighs, “Unfortunately.” He tugs it back down and sighs at the state of his shirt. 
“My shirt won’t.” He digs a finger into the hole and tugs on it, watching as it rips wider. Two hundred years he’s kept these clothes, she ruins them in a month. Un-fucking-believable. 
“Sew it,” she gripes, still wiping at her mouth. “I can’t believe you just fucking kissed me,” she frowns and spits again, bits of crimson lingering on her lips. 
He sighs and leans back against the tree. “Felt right in the moment.” It did, he wants to do it again. They’re even now, they’ve both shot each other twice. No reason for her to shoot again. 
He wants to feel the way she shivers against him and moans into his mouth. She can be pissed all she wants but she kissed back, she can’t deny that. He’s sure if she wasn’t tied up she’d be a bit more receptive to him. Or maybe she just needs time to cool off after the whole compound incident, a month seems like a reasonable amount of time. Then again, women are so damn unreasonable. 
She tugs a knife out of her boot and positions it between her knees. She places it between her wrists and saws at the rope until it falls free. She slides the knife back in her boot and tosses the ruined rope at him. 
He catches it with a sigh and glances up at her. “Why didn’t you do that earlier?”
Her eyes are alight with a challenge, “I wanted to see if you would let me go yourself.” Well, clearly, he had failed her little test. “I wanted to see if there was even a possibility I could ever trust you again.”
He gives her an unimpressed look, slightly pissed off about his shirt. He never should have taught her how to shoot. If he’d known it would come back to bite him in the ass he wouldn’t have. “And?”
She gives him a disbelieving look and shakes her head. “And instead of letting me go, you kissed me.“ She throws her hands up in astonishment and glares at him. “Why the hell would you think that was a good idea?”
He smirks and revels in the way she shivers at the sight. “Well, darling, I’ve always been better with actions not words.”
“Yeah,” her voice is a challenge, eyes hard and jaw clenched tightly in frustration. He loves the sight of her all riled up. He loves it even more knowing he’s the one getting her like this. “What were you trying to tell me with that little display?”
He doesn’t answer her question, not wanting to just yet. “You liked it, didn’t you?” Her mouth snaps shut and she looks away from him. He laughs, leaning back and giving her a smug look. “You can be pissed off at me as much as you want, sweetheart,” the nickname rolls off his tongue like a taunt and she sneers at him. “But you want me just the same as you used to.”
“Do you like hurting me? Is that why you keep me around? You’ve been alone for two hundred years, Cooper. And for the majority of them you’ve harbored this hatred for me because you thought I had abandoned you just like everyone else.” 
Her words strike a place deep inside him that has him on edge. She knows what she’s doing. He’s forgotten, in his time with her, that in the same way he can get under her skin, she can do it too. She knows him just as well, she’s just always been the better half of their duo. She never feels the need to stoop to the level he does. But she’s doing it now and it feels like a kick in the teeth. 
“And I’m the only one that’s actually stuck by you.” She laughs, but there’s an underlying pain to it. She looks away from him and wipes at her cheeks and his fists clench within his gloves. “Is this your revenge? You think by torturing me you get back at everyone whose ever fucked you over. I’m sick of it, Cooper. I’m not gonna let you use me anymore.”
“I feel for you,” he forces the words out. He doesn’t want to tell her this. He shouldn’t have to tell her this. She should just stick with him, it’s what they’d always done, it’s how it always should be. Them, together. But she’s fighting against that, against him, so much that he doesn’t have a choice. 
She’s backed him into a corner he doesn’t know how to get out of. “In a way I haven’t in a very long time. I can’t let you go. Don’t you get that, sweetheart? We’re in this together.”
She shakes her head and he sighs. “No,” she looks at him and just shakes her head again. “No, you don’t love me, Cooper, or you don’t want me at least. I’m not the same girl I was, that’s what you’re after. That idea in your head, of us together, that’s who I was. You were right, the Wastelands changes you. I can’t be her for you and I don’t want to be.”
He chuckles and she shrinks away from the sound in suspicion. “Newsflash, darling, I’m not the same man. I loved you a long time ago, sweetheart, but I’m not capable of that anymore. Not for the girl you were, anyway.”
She nodded, her arms wrapped around herself. She looked like she accepted the answer, but he could see beyond that, could see that she thought he was rejecting her. It hurt, she could hate him as much as she wanted, but that still hurt her. “Good,” she muttered, “she’s gone.”
“Well, good.” She shrank further into herself and he grinned.  “You. You as you are now. That’s what I want. I don’t give a shit about who we were, the only person I’ve wanted since I’ve been out here has been you. You’re the only person I’ve met who can actually keep up with me. I don’t give a shit if anyone in this godforsaken Wasteland lives or dies, but I give a shit about you. You’re also the only one who can knock me on my ass.”
Her eyes darted to the hole in his shirt and a small grin came over her lips. “Haven’t been shot a lot, have you, cowboy?”
“No,” he chuckles again and grins at her, “I haven’t. Though, I am still pretty pissed about the hole in my hat.”
Her tone loses a bit of her playfulness and she glares at him, “You more than earned that.”
He acquiesces and holds up his hands in surrender, “Maybe.” She scoffs at that and rolls her eyes. “But I think we’re even now.”
“Barely,” she mutters, rubbing at the bruises on her wrists. She glances up at him and sighs, a surrender in her eyes. “But, it’s close enough now.”
He stands up and she eyes him warily as he throws himself down on the log next to her. He holds out a hand, “What do you say, darling, partners?”
She sighs and stares at his hand for a long time. He doesn’t mind, he leaves it there, hovering between them. He knows she’ll take it. “Deny it as much as you want but this is how it’s meant to be. You can keep fighting it or save us both some time.”
She reaches forward and tentatively wraps a hand around his, she uses it to yank him forward, their faces separated by an inch. “Shoot me again,” she whispers, “and I won’t miss the next time I knock you on your ass.”
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“Oh shit,” you jump at the kickback on the rifle and nearly drop it to the ground. Cooper laughs and reaches around you, taking it from you. 
“Maybe I should have started you off with something with a little less kick to it.” He props the rifle against the tree and glances over to the cans you’d been shooting at. Well, you’d gotten one out of five at least. 
In all fairness this was the first time you’d ever handled a gun, you’re sure you’re doing fine for a beginner. He sucks on his teeth and looks at your targets. The serious look on his face cracks and he’s clearly trying to fight off laughing. 
You shove at his shoulder, smiling, “Shut up. I’ve never used one of these things before.”
He picks the rifle back up and starts laughing now, “You mean a gun?” 
You throw your arms in the air in defeat and slump into the patio chairs he’s dragged to the back of the cabin. “This is pointless, anyway.” He cocks the rifle and lifts it up to aim properly. In quick succession he knocks the remaining four cans off the fence. You roll your eyes at him, “Show off.”
He smiles and takes a seat next to you. You remain silent for a while, gazing across the yard and to the towering mountains across from his cabin. You appreciate him inviting you here. When you’d told him how overwhelmed you’d been feeling with all the new publicity you hadn’t expected him to drag you all the way out to his mountain home. 
You wouldn’t have accepted if you’d known it was just going to be you and him. You’d thought he was bringing his wife and kid, too. Spending a long weekend playing house with Cooper wasn’t going to do anything in getting rid of your crush. It was just getting worse the longer you were around him.
Waking up everyday and having him be the first person to greet you was going to send you into an early grave. You swear your heart’s never beat this fast around anyone else. He seems to be the only man who's ever had you feeling this head over heels. 
“I think it’s important you learn.”
You glance over at him, surprised at how serious he sounds. He’s still staring out at the mountains, but his gaze is distant. His mind is some place else. “Why?” You ask, voice quiet, afraid to spoil the moment.
He finally blinks, gaze darting down to his hands and the rifle still in them. “It’s easy for people to dismiss the war nowadays. They weren’t there, they didn’t watch as hundreds of good men and women died for them.” You frown, sometimes it’s easy to forget that he’d been fighting on the frontlines. He’s so good at being a socialite, you feel guilty that even you sometimes forget he was a soldier before he was Cooper Howard. 
His voice is heavy, the tension thick around the both of you. “They seem to think the war is over. I know it’s not, it’s just going to get worse. People can bury their heads in the sand as long as they want, but when the fighting is at their front door, what are they going to do?”
You reach out, hand covering his own. He finally looks up at you and you smile. “I appreciate it, Cooper.”
His eyes quickly look at your hand before looking back at you. “For what?”
You shrug, moving closer to him and lacing your fingers with his. You shouldn’t indulge yourself like this, but you can’t help it. He seems so sad and you only want to make him feel better. You just want to take care of him, the way he takes care of you. 
“For always looking out for me. You’re always there, I appreciate it. I appreciate you.”
The sad cast over his face finally breaks and he smiles at you. His hand squeezes yours once, then again and he looks back out at the mountains without saying anything else. You don’t think he needs to, that either of you needs to. Sometimes you understand each other better without words. 
You’ll always be there for one another.
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You eye him warily and he holds the jerky out further. “Aren’t you a little curious?” He taunts, waving the jerky around in front of your face. You know he thinks you won’t take it. That he’s just screwing with you. He’s been doing this ever since you agreed to tag along with him. Teasing you at every given opportunity. 
You snatch it from his hands and rip a piece of it off. It kind of tastes like beef, if not a little sweeter. There’s also that metallic radiated tang to it. You chew it slowly, savoring the slightly caught off guard look on his face. You swallow it down, forcing your face to stay straight and not give away how disgusted you feel right now. 
He chuckles, leaning back and looking at you with something that seems like appreciation. “I hope you know that was ass jerky.”
You gag now, glaring at him and tossing the rest of the jerky at his smug face. “You’re such a dick.” You take a swig from your canteen and swirl the water around your mouth. It gets rid of the taste well enough but you’re never going to get over the fact that you swallowed a part of someone’s ass. 
He suddenly gets serious, swatting at your arm and motioning to the front of the store. You crouch beside him, watching as a raider walks out of the front doors. You don’t get why they chose an old movie store for their hideout, but Cooper had it on good authority that they had a decent cache of supplies inside. 
The last time you’d followed him into one of these things, you’d nearly died, and then he’d sold you. You’re still not fully trusting of him. The only reason you’re with him now is because you need extra security from bounty hunters after getting booted out of Filly. 
If he wasn’t such a good shot, you would have never given him a second glance. Despite how much he insists the compound was an honest mistake, you find the trust slow to come. You’ll let him take the lead on this one, you’re not confident in him having your back if things take a turn. 
He moves forward and you hang back, keeping watch while he slits the guard’s throat. He lowers the body quietly to the ground and you creep behind him, following him through the doors of the store. 
This group is smaller than the last one you dealt with. Only five of them with no extra guards outside. Cooper ducks behind a dust covered shelf before they can spot either of you. You go to the other side of the store, moving slowly along the edge until you have a good shot. 
You take out one man and Cooper manages to hit two more before they start firing off their own guns. You dart back behind the shelf, willing to let Cooper handle the last two. But one of them dives behind the shelf and grabs at you. 
Another shot goes off and his friend’s body hits the ground while he rounds the corner with you. He’s got an arm wrapped around your throat and the barrel of his gun pushing so hard into your skull you can feel an indent forming. 
It wouldn’t be hard to shoot this guy, you still have your gun in your hand. Cooper seems to realize that, too, from the questioning look he gives you. You drop your gun to the floor, you want to see what he’ll do. 
Maybe you’re stupid, gambling with your life like this. But you don’t feel any fear, not from the guy holding you hostage at least. You just keep your eyes locked on Cooper’s. They’re so familiar to you, yet so distant. Like a stranger you’ve known all your life. 
He slowly rises from the floor, hands raised in the air in surrender. “Alright, let’s just see if we can’t talk this out like gentlemen.”
The guy holding you jerks you roughly, gun banging painfully against your temple. You wince but remain quiet. “Stay back or I’ll blow her goddamn brains out!”
Cooper’s eyes dart from your face to the guy. He huffs, frowning and pursing his lips like he’s trying to think of a way to talk himself out of this. He could leave, he’s got enough time to make it through the door before he fires at him. 
Or he could help you. 
It’s the only reason you let yourself get caught. If he wants your trust he’s going to have to prove it. Cooper looks at you and a grin splits across his face. It’s like he’s read your mind, from the knowing look on his face you think he might’ve. 
Then again, you never really needed words to talk to each other. 
With a speed that never fails to catch you off guard his hand darts under his jacket and he draws his gun. He’s shooting the man before you even get a chance to brace yourself. Your body gets dragged back slightly by the dead weight but Cooper moves forward and wraps a hand around your shirt, tugging you into him. 
Your hands shoot out, bracing yourself against his chest. He peers at you from under his hat and grins, “You didn’t really think I was gonna let you go that easy did you, darling?” Your eyes dart down to his lips, you feel like you can still taste him. 
The timing of his kiss might not have been appropriate, but he certainly hadn’t made it forgettable. Nothing about him was forgettable. As much as you wished he could be. You hated yourself for still letting yourself fall into his trap. 
Hollywood might have once labeled you as the most seductive actress of your generation, but Cooper had you beat. He kept you coming back even when you knew you shouldn’t. He had you wrapped around him and all you wanted to do was squeeze until he let you go. 
You push off of him, ignoring how much you want to pull him closer. You move towards their pile of supplies, “Let’s see what we’ve got.”
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There are a few different posters set up in the old movie store that intrigue him. But the one that’s caught his attention the most is set up directly behind her. Her back is to it, so she hasn’t gotten a chance to see it yet, but it’s all he can focus on. 
The Outlaw and The Sheriff
Their first movie together. 
He looks at her and huffs out a laugh, she glances up at him for a moment before she begins rifling through her bag again. She looks like she walked right off the fucking poster, hat and all. She’s the spitting image of herself, but she seems so different. 
Maybe it’s the eyes. The light there has changed, dimmed slightly from how it used to be. She used to seem so naive to the world, like a little lamb that just needed some guidance. Now, he wonders just how much of the world she’d seen before he found her. If maybe she had never been as innocent to it’s cruelties as he’d once assumed. 
She stepped into this new role of hers just as quickly as he had. You didn’t just change that quickly without knowing already just how awful people could be. 
“Sweetheart,” she looks up and he points behind her. She turns around and looks up to the poster.
She scoffs, moving to stand beside him, “I always hated how I looked in that.”
He glances over at her and shakes his head, “Probably shouldn’t show you a mirror anytime soon, then.” Her hands reach up to fiddle with the brim of her hat and she smiles, a real smile for once. 
“No, I suppose not.” Her hands trace over her lips, he glances back at the poster. At that old signature of hers. She always had to have those red lips. “It’s so different,” she whispers and he knows she didn’t mean for him to hear. Her eyes glisten and he frowns. 
He shouldn’t have shown her. It’s not like he enjoyed seeing those fucking Vault-Boy posters, he sure as hell hated seeing clips of himself. Why would she enjoy seeing who she used to be? Who they used to be?
Things used to be so simple. He loved her, she loved him. Now he’d fucked up so much he wasn’t sure she could ever look at him the way she used to. He didn’t want who she was before, he couldn’t handle that. This new her, well, he didn’t give her near enough credit. 
But he wouldn’t hate seeing someone look at him like that again. Endless adoration and unflinching loyalty. He knew he would follow her anywhere, he’d realized that a while ago. He didn’t have anything in the Wastelands, nothing but hate and spite to keep him going all this time.
Now, he had her. He just needed her to realize that she had him just the same. She had him wrapped around her and he hated it and loved it at the same time. Hated her and loved her for it all the same. 
He tugs his glove off before he reaches for her. He cups her cheek, thumb tracing over her lips before she turns towards him. His eyes meet hers and he smiles slightly at the familiarity and mystery to them. So much of her he recognizes and then there are these new parts he’s yet to discover. 
He wants to discover all of her. Learn everything he can about her all over again, feed his desire to consume her entirely. 
She pulls him in this time, her lips chapped and cracked. Her arms wind around his neck, yanking him closer and he tugs at her. She tastes as sweet as he remembers and it only makes him crave more. More of her, more of anything she’ll let him have. 
She pulls back from him, pressing her hand against his chest, slowly backing him against the wall. He lets her ease him to the floor and she throws a leg over his lap. She settles herself above him, both her hands tightly grasping his neck, crushing their bodies together, eyes gazing intently into his own. He doesn’t know what she’s looking for in him but she seems to find it when she leans in once more. 
She isn’t giving him a chance at control, she’s got a leash on him, pulling back anytime he tries to lead. He relents, following her as she slowly explores him. 
He’s not sure how long this peace between them will last before one of them inevitably fucks up. But they’re stuck together now. It doesn’t matter what happens, he’s not letting her get away from him again. 
She’s his, always has been, always will be. It’s been that way since before the fallout. He’s led her, guided her.
He had loved her as a different man. History always seems to repeat itself with them. As twisted as the world is, as twisted as they’ve become, they always seem to drift back together. No matter how much the both of them fight against it. 
He’s giving in now, giving into her. 
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end. — I do not own the characters or the game/show Fallout, but this writing is my own all rights reserved © not-neverland06 2024. do not copy, repost, translate & recommend elsewhere.
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tetsuskei · 3 days
Text
⟣ tartaglia
notes: based off the fact that i am indeed a sleepy drunk, and also inspired by diluc’s lore with firewater, also childe lore. he can smell when something is done cooking?
warnings: self indulgent, childe is referred to by his birth name, russian pet names, suggestive themes, fluff
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it’s always a beautiful sight to see your boyfriend, ajax, when he cooks in the kitchen.
second to the battlefield, this place is his domain. the sound of soft music plays in the background, and he’s completely in his element. the ginger moves his hips to the rhythm, swaying ever so gracefully while mumbling the lyrics to the current song under his breath. he’s always been a great dancer, so you’re not surprised. it makes you wonder if there’s anything he’s not good at.
you always adore seeing him in atmospheres such as this one, especially with how much he loves to cook. his lips are pursed in concentration, a cute crinkle to his nose on display from the small frown on his face. all of his movements are skilled and dexterous. his knife abilities—albeit ignoring the fact that he’s a harbinger—are precise and quick, almost like everything he’s doing is a second thought.
it may be the alcohol you had talking, or the everlasting love you have for him—or maybe both that gets you feeling extremely soft. the urge to kiss away the expression on his face is high, but you hold back on distracting him and starting something else entirely.
and speaking of distractions, your handsome boyfriend is sporting a v-neck crew shirt and some sweatpants. much different from his sharp work attire. and although loose, the material of his clothes are still somewhat form fitting. his back muscles had been flexing every so often in a way that makes it hard to peel your eyes away. you silently curse his lean muscular self for looking so soft and domestic. just really, how shameless—
“hey! you’re supposed to be helping, not slacking off!” ajax scolds, pointing a wooden spoon at you in a chastising way. but the playful lit to his tone suggests otherwise as he cocks his head, smiling. “mila, what are you daydreaming about from over there?”
you giggle, “sorry, i’m just admiring the view.”
he hums, his smile growing. “and is the view to your liking?”
“it’s likely.” you answering padding over to him.
“i hope so. i don’t look this good for nothing.”
once in his radius, he pulls you into his side, swaying you both as he stirs the food. he quietly tells you it’s his mother’s recipe and his favorite thing to make.
“may i try some?” you ask.
wordlessly, your boyfriend holds out a spoonful for you, and you happily eat off of the utensil. the juices and flavors evade your mouth, beating the rich aroma you’ve succumbed to long ago.
you close your eyes in bliss, blinking them open happily. “wow! it’s delicious, ‘jax!”
“it’s not done yet.” he explains, humbly. “almost, but not quite.”
“okay, perfectionist.” you laugh, going back for more. “still good enough to me.”
he pushes your hand back. “you’ll spoil your appetite.” he warns, frowning.
“i promise i don’t want a lot. just a smidge more. please?” you look up at him with the biggest doe eyes you can muster, and he falters, trying to look away and focus back on what he’s doing.
as uncharacteristic as it may seem, ajax does not put up very much of a fight. not that he could ever say no to you anyways.
he sighs, “alright…fine.”
while you sit and eat (after clearly giving up on helping), your boyfriend starts to ramble about some theater performance he wants to take you to in fontaine.
“so what do you think?”
you hum quietly in response, your cheek on your hand. “mmh that sounds nice…”
ajax glances over at you, concerned. you had grown awfully quiet.
“are you alright?” he asks, inspecting the rest of you for any strange signs. “we don’t have to go if you don’t want to.”
“i want to, yes!” your thoughts are jumbled. “and m’fine. why?” you add to reassure him, “just tired.”
‘tired? you were fine just fifteen minutes ago. so full of energy, actually’ he thinks, watching the way your eyes are suddenly drooping.
“well don’t worry, i’m almost done.” ajax assures.
“hey. did you put this in the food?” you hold up the open bottle of white wine, and some of the contents spill out. however, your boyfriend is quick to grab it once seeing how you’re swaying.
suddenly it all clicks in his brain. “ahh, i might’ve put in too much.” he chuckles, now noting the smell of the food a little bit different than usual. stronger and sharper like the wine. “that explains things. plus the firewater we had from earlier.” he recalls you taking an impressive amount of shots, trying to out beat him.
“didn’t you once say something about sharing firewater with someone in the cold makes them trustworthy? i’ve done half the battle!” you say with pride, albeit wobbling a little. “let’s go sit outside later! we’ll see who freezes first!”
ajax stares at you in awe before laughing—loudly.
“milaya, you always surprise me with just how cute you can be.” he pinches your cheeks before moving his hand to your lower back, steering you towards the couch. “now come on, sit down. you’re going to fall over at this rate.”
“‘kay.” you mumble, letting him guide you. you don’t really feel yourself moving until the plush cushion under you meets your bottom.
“i’m just going to clean up and i’ll be right back. i promise.” he reassures, squeezing your hand before releasing it.
you jump back up eagerly, “i’ll help!”
“no, you’ll stay here.” he pushes you back down gently before standing up himself. there’s a stern look on his face as he says, “you’ve had too much to drink. that’s my fault.”
a small huff leaves your mouth and you pout. your eyes start to water. “then…at least sit with me!”
“the kitchen has to be cleaned up, lisichka.” he reminds gently.
your eyes grow wetter. “the kitchen is more important than me?”
he gives you a look. “nothing could ever be more important than you. you know that.”
“then…you’ll stay. it is your fault after all.”
he laughs, scratching the back of his head, “alright then. but only for a little bit.”
the minute he sits down, you promptly slide yourself onto his lap, wordlessly making yourself comfortable.
“oh? what’s this?” his heart swells. you’re usually too shy to initiate something like this, often leading him to pulling you onto him.
there’s a confused look on your face. “you said to sit down and stay here, so i’m doing that.” you blink slowly, head tilting. “did i sit wrong?”
“no, of course not.” he answers, kissing your forehead. thankfully you’re too out of it to tease him, or he’d never hear the end of it.
he shifts you so your legs straddle his lap. your face is buried in his neck, breathing in the smell of his aftershave and the pinewood scent of him. one hand reaches up towards his soft locks and mindlessly plays with it.
ajax feels his entire being burning with exhilaration. while he knows how to handle his alcohol way better than you do, he is not immune to your touches. he could get intoxicated and drunk on any little thing you do.
a satisfied exhale leaves the man and he closes his eyes for moment, his nose nuzzling your cheek. the feeling of your warm palms sliding across his face pull him out of the moment before your eyes meet.
you hum, staring at him closely. “have your eyes always looked like this?” you ask.
he blinks. “like what? and why?”
“they’re so blue. i’ve never seen eyes like yours before.”
“no, they haven’t.” he answers honestly. he tries to avert his attention away from you, but your hands grab his face again.
“they’re so pretty…like the ocean…” you breathe, now poking at his freckles. “you’re so pretty…”
the man is pretty sure he’s blushing right now when you speak, rambling and comparing him like the sea. of the comforting warmth and unpredictability of the weather, all comparable to his nature—which you love.
you must be trying to kill him, because what he doesn’t expect next is for you to kiss him on the nose, and then his cheeks.
by the time he’s chasing your lips with his own, you’re pulling back, giggling quietly.
“hey, you can’t just tease like that—“ you slump against him, and he freezes, eyes widening.
“milaya?”
“…”
pulling your face back from his chest, he notes that you’ve passed out.
ajax tugs you tight in his hold, tucking your face in the crook of his neck. the smell of your hair makes his heart grow even bigger and fonder.
“by the tsaritsa, my cute girlfriend can’t hold her alcohol well,” he laughs to himself, absently tracing shapes into your lower back, “i’m sure glad this happened at home, or god knows what would happen out in public.”
he doesn’t really know if he’d be more worried about your own safety, or the things he’d do if someone dared to take advantage of you.
either way, his endless vow to protect you couldn’t be broken anyway anyhow. not even in death. he’d be loyal to you for a thousand life times.
bonus:
waking up groggily, you rub your eyes, shield them from from the unavoidable brightness of the sun.
while warm light hits your face, it only makes you feel hot and cold all at the same time. a feeling that should be welcoming only suffocates you instead as an ache converges the nerve points in your head.
“rise and shine sleeping beauty.”
you turn limply, eyes widening at the sight of ajax standing in the doorway.
“i was really hoping on you waking up soon.” he says pushing the door open further. he holds a tray of food in his hands. padding over to you he nods to the water and ibuprofen on the bedside table. “once you eat some, you should really take that.”
maybe its the sleep in your eyes or the fact that you’re not fully awake yet, but you tear up. “you’re always taking care of me.”
“yep, that is my job.” he places the food down, leaning over to kiss away any stray tears.
“thank you.”
he clicks his tongue. “what did i tell you about thanking me for things like this?”
you roll your eyes. such a stubborn man.
you quietly tell him that your brain is foggy, and while you partially don’t want to know, wish that he recall what last happened when you were awake.
“you should’ve seen how cute you were while drunk. i don’t think i could ever forget it.” he laughs once he’s done recapping.
blood rushes to your cheeks, your face aflame. “i’m not going to be able to live this down, am i?”
ajax laughs again, “don’t think so! although, being passed out for pretty much the whole day is alarming, so i don’t think we will be letting you near any alcohol anytime soon.”
your shoulders droop, “i guess that’s fair…”
“don’t be so sad! here, let me feed you!” he moves behind you, sitting down on the bed so his legs are on either side of you. his chest presses into your backside as he reaches for the food.
“‘jax i can feed myself just fine.” you say, going for the spoon, but his reflexes are faster.
“please?” he looks down at you, hoping his ocean hues favor him.
you sigh. “fine.”
the two of you sit in comfortable silence as he feeds you, and you being hungrier than you realize, finish everything quickly.
“i almost forgot! you owe me something.” he says coyly.
you frown, “huh?”
“after all that teasing yesterday…you left me high and dry…” he sniffs.
you blink, and suddenly it’s clear what he’s insinuating. “a kiss?”
“so you remember?” he asks.
you shrug, “just barely…”
“well, know that you’re aware—“ he scoots towards you, knees bumping your own before he’s pulling you towards him.
a yelp leaves you. “b-but i just ate food! and…and i need to brush my teeth!” you protest, but he’s still hovering close over you.
“so?”
there’s no use, because the minute you open your mouth to reply, ajax swoops down, kissing you wordlessly and hungrily. his tongue brief swipes over yours before he soon pulls back.
there’s a mild grimace on his face, “yeah, go brush your teeth.”
you shove him back on the bed, making him holler with laughter, “i told you!”
“it was still worth it, mila!” he shouts after you.
“fuck you.” you spit.
“with pleasure.” he smiles.
notes: my mom added too much white wine to food she made, so she’s the running inspiration for this. shout out to her!
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ay-chuu · 1 day
Text
We Could Be The Same
gn!reader. The lyrics are from 'we could be the same' from MaNga. 4th wall break and devoted love. A little of angst. This is also for my pretty star girl, @senpaiofotome
-☆-
Your tears were piercing his heart. Nobody could break his heart this much. Or nobody could unite his heart so much.
"I can love you more than they hate" he whispered to you as his hands come to your face for cleaning your tears. When his hand came to your cheeks, you gently pressed it to your face and smiled sadly as your lips kissed his palm.
"I know... I can see it in your eyes. It doesn't come as a surprise."
While placing his other hand on your other cheek, he slowly pressed his forehead to yours and whispered, this time in a harsher voice. "Doesn't matter who they will blame. I dont care anyone. Just call me, just want me as much you do want do. And i know that we can be together if try enough. "
He shouldn't have done it or say it, he knows... that he shouldn't have drawn you into this universal madness. But instead of seeing you sad in a world where you live with strange people you don't want, he could pull you into a dimensional response with him.
Maybe you would run away from everywhere. But together. Maybe it would just take a lifetime. Maybe it would only take a few years. Maybe it would only take a few months or weeks. Damn... maybe this promise would only last a night.
But a day where you are together. And maybe you two could dance like a star. Not matter how different you two are.
He looked at the sky, he closed his eyes before opening them to you to see them filled with determination.
"For all this time I've been loving you, don't even know your full name..." He kissed your forehead silently. "For just one night, we could be the same no matter what they say..."
~♡: JASON TODD, Damian wayne, Dick grayson (DC; Batboys) KUNIKUZUSHI, NEUVILETTE, Childe, Diluc, ALHAITHAM (Genshin Impact) CHUUYA, SIGMA, DAZAI!!, Tetchou (Bsd) Simeon, SOLOMON (Obey me) MALLEUS MALLEUS MALLEUS! OML. , Silver, Leona (Twst) Shoto, hawks (Bnha) ZAYNE, Rafayel, Xavier (LnD) +your fav characters...
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clusterbuck · 3 days
Note
How about number 20 for Buck/Eddie, because clumsily flirting seems very much in their wheelhouse?
ohhh boy is it ever
every guitar-string scar on your hand
different first meeting | bar singer buck | 1.4k, T | ao3 | send me a blossoming romance prompt 🌸
Eddie stares down at the text on his phone screen.
Christopher is in good hands, I promise. Don’t you dare try to come home before 9pm. I know you don’t think so, but you need a break. 
He’s regretting letting his coworkers into his life right about now. He doesn’t know how to tell Hen that nothing about a night sitting alone in a bar sounds relaxing to him, but her heart is in the right place. The least he can do is make an effort.
The bar he’d picked is on the quieter side, some ways off the beaten path. Not the kind of place tourists go to for the glitz and glamour of Los Angeles, but it’s nice enough. He can sit here for a few hours, nurse a couple of beers until it’s late enough that Hen will let him back into his own house.
It’ll be fine.
Except—
Just then, a man walks out of some back room carrying a guitar and a microphone stand, and Eddie sighs. 
Live music doesn’t exactly fit the quiet night he’d hoped for. 
Can I get an exemption if there’s a guy about to start playing guitar in the bar? he texts.
Hen sends back an eye-rolling emoji. Music is a good thing. Give him a chance. You might even enjoy it.
Yeah, and pigs might fly, Eddie thinks, but doesn’t text back. Hen is doing a nice thing, he reminds himself. She’s doing a nice thing for him, and the fact that she doesn’t know him very well doesn’t take away from that. 
He hasn’t been at the 118 for very long, but from his first shift he could tell they’re family, the kind of team that takes care of their own. Still, they never pried, just waited for him to open up to them on their own terms, and Eddie was surprised when he realised how much he wanted to. It’s been a while since he’s had real friends.
He’s grateful for all of them, but especially Hen—and not just because Hen has a wife, and every time Eddie’s met Karen he’s remembered that one of the things he promised himself when he left Texas was that he’d let himself be his full self.
He hasn’t come out to Hen or anything, partially because he doesn’t know what he would say, exactly. I’ve never so much as kissed another man but I was fifteen when Brokeback Mountain came out and it woke something in me that never settled down since and I kind of want to know where it leads seems a little too wordy. 
But sometimes, Hen looks at him and Eddie thinks maybe she knows anyway. Or suspects, at least.
The man with the guitar strums a chord. Eddie expects the bar patrons to quiet down and listen, but the man’s would-be audience barely even bats an eye. Something flickers across the man’s face, but it’s gone before Eddie can figure out what it is, replaced by a smile almost as bright as it is empty.
“Good evening, folks,” the man says into the microphone, smiling that polished smile. “My name is Buck, and I’m going to be with you for the next couple of hours. Let’s have some fun!” 
No one in the audience reacts.
Buck launches into a cover of a song Eddie doesn’t recognise. He can tell that Buck is good, though—he has a nice voice, and his fingers are sure as they find the chords against the neck of the guitar.
Eddie has a brief vision of Buck’s nimble fingers pressing into his skin, and blinks against the heat rising on the back of his neck. Only now that this first observation has crept in, Eddie notices more: the slight curl of Buck’s hair at his temples, like he’d tried to tame it and failed. The birthmark framing his left eye, and the tattoos running along his arms. The black t-shirt he’s wearing, and the way his biceps threaten to burst out of the sleeves when he strums the guitar.
The blush creeps up his neck and across his cheeks, and Eddie looks away, taking a deep breath.
When he turns back, Buck is looking right at him. He grins, and Eddie’s never met this man before but he knows that this smile is the real deal. 
The song ends. Most of the audience barely reacts, but Eddie applauds, and gets a wink in return. His face, he’s pretty sure, must be bright red by now, and he takes his phone out just to have somewhere else to look.
Before he can think better of it, Eddie opens his text thread with Hen. Well, at least he’s hot, so there’s that. He turns his phone facedown as soon as he’s hit send, not quite believing he just did that, but picks it up again immediately when it vibrates.
Hen has sent an entire row of eyeball emojis, followed by Damn, Eddie, get it.
The phone vibrates in his hand, and she adds, If you want to get it, that is. I’ve got Christopher as long as you need. 
Eddie can’t help the grin that slips out, and glances up at Buck again. He’s moved on to something Eddie vaguely recognises, and he lights up when he notices Eddie looking. 
I might want to… move in the direction of it, he tells Hen. Then he adds, Besides, no one else here is paying attention to him. I feel bad.
Mhmm, Hen texts back. I’m sure you do. 
One chorus later, his phone vibrates again. Have fun, be safe, make good choices.
Eddie rolls his eyes and puts his phone back in his pocket, but he can’t help the giddy feeling rising like a bubble in his chest. 
Buck plays on. The audience continues to mostly ignore him, and as the night goes on, the crows begins to disperse. But Eddie stays rooted to his seat. Buck stops pretending to play for anyone but him, and slowly, he grows used to the weight of Buck’s eyes on him. By the time Buck plays his final chord, Eddie is more than certain he wants to replace it with his hands.
But Buck is packing up, and Eddie finds himself suddenly nervous. Maybe Buck was only looking at him because he was the only person in the audience who seemed to give a damn.
Or maybe Buck was looking at him, but he’s looking for something other than a thirty-something gay man with no real experience of what it means to be gay. Maybe Buck just wants someone to take into the back alley for fifteen minutes of fun. Eddie doesn’t know if he knows how to do that.
Then Buck glances over at him, and his smile is warm, inviting, almost shy. Eddie gathers every speck of courage he’s ever had and gets to his feet.
“Hi,” he says, when he reaches Buck. “You were really good.” He swallows. “Do you, um, do this often?” Then he blinks, and flushes so hot his face must most closely resemble a tomato. “I mean—I didn’t mean that like a line. Like hey, handsome, come here often? Or—I mean—it’s not not a line—I just didn’t mean to—”
Now, Eddie thinks, would be a great time for the ground to open up and swallow him whole.
Buck cocks his head, a grin tugging at the corners of his mouth. “What, so you don’t think I’m handsome?”
“No!” Eddie yelps, then his eyes go wide. “I mean—‘no’ as in—I do think—” he groans, runs a hand through his hair. “Christ, I’m fucking this up.”
Buck takes a small step closer, almost like he’s testing to see if Eddie will flinch back. He doesn’t.
“I think you’re doing just fine,” Buck says. “You even have an advantage over me.” 
“Yeah?” Eddie asks. “What’s that?” 
“You know my name, but I don’t know yours. Can’t exactly keep calling you Hot Stranger, can I?” 
Eddie’s breath catches in his throat, and it takes a couple of seconds for him to be able to splutter out his name.
Buck grins, delighted. “Well, Eddie,” he says. “Want to get out of here?” 
Half-hearted fears try to rear their heads—worries that Buck might expect more than Eddie is prepared to give—but they die down almost as soon as they pop up. They just met tonight, but there’s something about Buck that makes Eddie feel like he can trust him. Makes him feel safe. 
So he takes a breath and lets himself relax, lets his face split into a smile. “Yeah, Buck,” he says. “I’d love to.” 
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vax-merstappen · 2 days
Text
undefeated pt. 1 (mv1)
more victories than defeats
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summary: it’s the hungarian grand prix and max has won every race this season. when you get pole, can you finally defeat the undefeated?
series masterlist
You walk through the paddock, cameras flashing, people shouting your name. You pull your red cap lower over your eyes, trying to get through the crowd and into the safety of the Ferrari hospitality.
As Ferrari’s clear number one driver, it was no surprise that people wanted to get your picture or signature. Even just a quick sound bite would get a reporter views. And normally you’d try to stop for as many of your fans as possible, knowing that taking a few seconds out of your day would mean the world to them. But today was different. Today you were on a mission.
The Hungarian Grand Prix normally wasn’t a huge highlight on the calendar for you or the team, but today it felt different. With the new upgrades on the car and a stellar qualifying that got you onto pole position, you had a chance.
That chance was to beat Max Verstappen, the current reigning world champion. Last season he had dominated, winning all but three races, his teammate Checo Pérez taking the ones he failed to win. And this season, he had claimed all of the victories of the first twelve races. He was on track to win every race this season, setting a Formula 1 record and doing something nobody else had ever been able to do.
But not if you had any say in the situation. As his main rival on track you would do anything to stop his reign. The bad blood between you and Max ran deep, having started racing in Formula 1 the same year as him. With both of you going into your 10th season in the sport, it was clear to most people that he was the better driver and you hated that.
Maybe today would be different.
You walked into the Ferrari garage, quickly making your way over to your race engineer, Renée, and pulled her aside.
“So what’s the game plan for today? Besides keeping Max behind me and defending like crazy.”
She smiled at you. “We’re running a one stop strategy. You’re going to have to push like crazy at the start and try to get a lead. You know how aggressive he is…”
I scoff. “Aggressive is an understatement. He’s a damn maniac.”
Renée chuckled. “Yeah. Well you’ve got pole so you’ll have a slight advantage over him in second. And you’ve got your teammate Charles behind you in third, so you should have the support there. He’s been made aware that his job is to keep the rest of the grid off of you and Max. Even our odds against him.”
You nod. “Glad to know. We’ve got to win this one today. He can’t win them all.”
“He won’t. We’ve got pole, a good strategy, car upgrades, and your determination to win this one. Today will be our day.”
“Let’s hope it is,” you say, giving one last acknowledgment to Renée before walking to your driver’s room to start your pre-race ritual.
You put on your headphones and started playing your favorite hype song, practicing a few stretches that you always did before a race. As you continued to follow your routine, slowly all the noise faded away and you were left with one feeling. Determination that Max would not win.
---
As you walked out to stand for the Hungarian national anthem, you found yourself lined up directly next to the world champion himself. The tension nearly crackled in the air between you as you made eye contact with Max, his gaze more like a glare. You didn’t dare speak to him as the performer was singing and the grid kids stood before you, but you could already tell he was focused. Though he seemed nonchalant, you knew it secretly bothered him that you were on pole.
As soon as the performance ended and the drivers began to disperse, you whispered under your breath as you walked by him. “Enjoy watching my rear wing.”
You walked away before you could see if he responded.
Standing by your car, you prepared yourself to race. You needed to start strong and capitalize on your pole position. You risked a glance back at the Red Bull behind you, watching Max put on his helmet and ready himself to get in the car. You could have sworn he was looking back at you, almost as a predator looks at prey.
You climb into your car, pulling your own helmet over your head, readying for the formation lap. You give a thumbs up to the crew, watching them step away from the car and take the covers off the tires.
As you pull away from the start line, you move side to side across the track, trying to warm your tires to get better grip for the start. You knew Max would be on you instantly, trying to pass you as you went into the first corner. You went through the corners of the track on the formation lap, readying yourself for the race.
As you pulled into pole position, you watched the red lights begin to light up
1
2
3
4
5
Lights out and away we go.
You sped up as fast down the main straight, trying to get your car first on the inside line. You could see Max beside you, trying desperately for the same thing. As you went wheel to wheel, you nudged your car ahead of his, managing to secure the racing line for the time being.
But in your mirrors was Max Verstappen in a Red Bull, arguably one of the scariest sights in Formula 1. And as you made your way around the first few laps, you just couldn't find a way to shake him. He kept behind you, only just outside of getting DRS to pass you.
You kept speeding through the corners of the Hungaroring, sensing it was only a matter of time before he passed you. The pressure was on, the Red Bull and Ferrari rivalry at its greatest.
One pit stop each and a safety car later, you found yourself driving slowly behind the car. And in your mirrors, you could now clearly see the man himself, right on your rear wing. Any lead you had built was gone, taken away with the safety car. The lion was in striking distance and you knew it.
As the safety car moved to resume the race, you pressed the pedal full on, needing to shake the dutchman behind you. With only 10 laps left of 70, you needed to hold on.
But as good of a driver you were, Max was better. The best driver on the grid, undefeated in the first 12 races of the season. And he wouldn't let a Ferrari beat him.
You entered the main straight and you knew Max was close enough for DRS. You watched he caught up to you, going wheel to wheel as you sped through the track.
It would have been easier to accept if there'd been a fight, some sort of defense available, a challenging overtake for Max.
But he just breezed past you, as if you weren't even there. Not a threat. Not a problem. Not anything he'd ever worried about.
Even after a strenuous and hard fought race to gain a lead, Max Verstappen once again would win. His thirteenth consecutive race. Another damn record.
You finished the last nine laps of the race, still pushing but not nearly as hard. You felt defeated. Nothing you or the car was capable of would be enough. Not against him, a living legend of a driver.
As you crossed the finish line in second, you congratulated the team on their efforts on the radio, but your heart wasn't in it. Most drivers would be happy with a podium, if not elated. But not you. Not when you would be forced to spray him oncemore with champagne. Not when he would take home another trophy, which would just be another hunk of metal to him.
You climbed out of the car besides him, noticing Oscar Piastri pulling into the 3rd place spot. You could at least be a little happy for the Australian, having earned another podium in just his second season. You walked up to Oscar and congratulated him, making a point to do so before turning to Max.
"Congrats on the win," you said, your voice monotone.
"Thanks," Max replied simply. "You had a good drive there at the start."
"Not good enough," you retorted, trying and failing to hide your disdain at both him and your own failure.
"Still a podium though," Max shrugged.
"You know damn well you'd be pissed in P2."
Max looked you in the eye. "I think you should be grateful I let you lead the race for so long. My car is clearly faster than yours."
You rolled your eyes. "I don't want to do this here. Not with all the cameras."
Max had the audacity to smirk. "Suit yourself. But I did earn the win, don't deny me that."
You hated it when he was right.
You stalked away from Max on track and headed over to your team, clapping a few of the engineers and team members on the back for their performance. Sure, you were mad. But they still got you a podium position. And you wanted to delay the cooldown room as long as you could.
But you couldn't delay it that long, and god did some water sound refreshing. So you went into that room, looking at Max seated in the center chair, Oscar on his right in the 3rd place chair. You grabbed a water bottle and slumped down in the remaining seat next to Max, not saying a word.
"Could have taken that corner better," Max said, commenting on a clip of your car briefly sliding out of track limits. "Maybe that's why you lost some time to me right before the safety car."
"Thanks for the observation," you said sarcastically.
The tension in the room was palpable. You almost felt bad for Oscar Piastri, having to deal with the two of you.
"If there hadn't been that safety car, I would have had a tougher race. But I still think I could have caught you... your tires seemed to be degrading faster than mine. At least that's what the team said. Also with a few of those small mistakes like going wide on the turns..."
He kept going on, in his typical way, what the internet had dubbed Maxplaining. They were right. It was like he didn't understand that you knew your mistakes and how he had driven faster.
But anyways, you were spared as the three of you were called for the podium. Oscar went out first, followed by you.
You heard the cheers of your team and fans and you tried your hardest to be happy and excited about your podium. But when the cheers for you were eclipsed by those for Max, you couldn't pretend anymore.
You stood only begrudgingly beside him on the podium as the Dutch national anthem played for the 13th time in a row. And when he popped the champagne, even he didn't seem excited, like winning had become habitual for him and that this was an obligation, not a reward.
This was a man with more victories than defeats in the past few seasons.
A man who's wins were routine.
A man you loathed with your whole being.
You chose to spray your champagne over your own head rather than his. An act of protest and anger.
And when you left the podium, you left with stronger feelings. The taste for victory lingered on your tongue. And the desire for revenge burned stronger in your heart.
Part 2 coming!
taglist: @jehun
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captain-mj · 2 days
Text
Bad dog
Been a while since I did something with muzzles and had an idea
Ghost had come back from a very successful mission, the captured creature had been locked away and catalogued. Another win for him and the fucking scientists.
He lit a cigarette and watched the... things in their rooms and cells. The scientists assured them that none were human, but he wasn't sure he completely believed them. Some were very good at mimicking people.
His personal favorite was A21987028. Or Soap. Scientists liked spouting off that long string of numbers, but Ghost preferred the nickname given. It was like how the dog like creature in cell 483 was named "Riley" because of the collar it had on when it was found. And while yes, she was a little maneater, Ghost still snuck her biscuits and things to eat and she liked him better.
Soap was interesting. Brimming with intelligence, perfectly mimicking a Scottish man, and friendly.
Ghost went to his room and sat with him, likely he usually did. He sat across from him and Soap perked up. The brown leather across his face was the only grim reminder of what he was. Otherwise, he looked normal. Even his clothes were nice, of the latest fashion.
"Hello, Simon." Soap said with a smile, teeth flashing under the brown leather. Same one Riley wore. Same one everything in this building wore but the guards. "Come to chat?"
Ghost shifted, legs spreading to fill out the chair. He looked at Soap. "Another mission. Caught a thing that looks like a mix between a raccoon and a sparrow. Its wings are too small to fly."
"How did you catch it?"
Ghost had speared it like a fish and held it down, blade causing yellow blood to gush out until it had the good sense to stop fighting. He had thrown it in the cage and heard the useless wing snap.
"Used one of those loops on the poles. It hooked around it's neck and i dropped it in the cage. No harm, no foul."
Soap nodded and walked over. There were strict rules on most of the creatures, but Soap was different. Intelligent enough to know that fighting back was futile. Friendly enough to be able to play nice. In the fifteen years there, he had never once caused an incident.
The muzzle stayed, so did the chains around his ankles, but his hands were freed. His room decorated. Books were given to him. A tv. He had plenty of enmities.
Ghost still felt guilty. If he could, he'd let Soap leave. But Soap was not truly Soap. He was A21987028. A thing that had appeared out of the sky and ate flesh.
For now though, it wasn't feeding time. Ghost could be here, with him. In this space.
Soap leaned down and brushed the muzzle against Ghost's mask. Like an animal.
"Simon. Do they listen to our conversations?"
"Don't necessarily listen, but they do record them. If there was ever a need, they'd review them. But you won't do that. You're a good boy." Ghost meant it as a joke. A fucked up version of one, but a joke.
Soap looked at him, that brilliant blue was wrong. It happened occasionally. Soap wouldn't look like Soap. He'd look like someone or something else. Usually they were so subtle, Ghost would be unsure if they really even happened.
"Shame. Sometimes, I want to tell you things. Tell you secrets. But I can't. Things listen."
Ghost had no doubts in his mind that Soap didn't mean the microphones.
"I apologize, Soap. Lights out soon, I'm on night duty."
"Will you come say hi to me as you pass?" That wasn't what Soap really wanted. He wanted Ghost to sneak him food.
“Maybe.” Ghost smiled at him.
Soap brightened considerably. “I’ll wait for you.” He smiled and went around the room, a sway to it.
Ghost left, as always, wondering what Soap would feel like if they could touch without his gloves between them. He’d show Soap the sun. The moon.
Instead, he had to have a picture of them on the wall.
Ghost thought of the dozens of documentaries over space and human history and war. Soap requested to have a documentary over bombs, but they denied him immediately.
He'd do wonders in the human world. But it wasn't human. It was hard to remember that at times.
Ghost made sure before he went back by Soap that he had a candy bar to slip into his cell. A candy bar that was grabbed by a hand with too many fingers.
"Simon?"
"Yes, Soap?"
Soap looked at him, eyes glowing enough so Ghost would surely see him. "I appreciate the time we spend we spend together."
Ghost smiled at him and he could tell, despite the mask, that Soap could see. He pulled away and kept walking through the yard. Creatures tried to get his attention. All hoping that he'll be the one to slip up and let them free.
The night ended like all nights ended. With him turning into his own bed in a different barracks. With Simon laying down and remembering that he's doing good for the world.
He couldn't have been asleep long when the alarms went off. He assumed it was Protocol L at first, a common break they had was that particular one. But then he heard the numbers that followed and realized more than just one had escaped. He grabbed his gun and checked his gear, happy he hadn't taken much of it off, and got out the door.
Ghost put the majority of the creatures back in their cages, safe and sound. Most were intimidated by him, despite being able to grow much bigger than him.
Then his gun came face to face with Soap.
The muzzle was still securely on, but the chains had been broken. "Simon. Don't make me hurt you."
"Think you have the nerve?"
"Come with me. We can go somewhere else. Somewhere just the two of us." Soap grabbed his hand and moved closer. "I promise, I'm really not like the others. I don't want to hurt you.""
Ghost put his gun under Soap's chin. They had about five minutes to leave. "How can I trust it? How do I know you weren't playing the long con?"
"You know me. You love me. i love you. Let's go." Soap squeezed his hand tight. "Please. I want to see the world. See everything."
Ghost squeezed his hand back and made a decision.
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devildomwriter · 3 days
Text
“…It was long ago, back before this place was even called the House of Lamentation. This house was built on the outskirts of a village in the human world. At the time, a married couple and their seven children lived here, along with one servant. At first glance, they appeared to be a happy, well-off family that enjoyed living out in the country. However, one day everything changed… The oldest son came running into the village constable’s office looking very pale. Then he delivered a horrifying piece of news: “Our servant…he murdered everyone in my family and then took his own life!” So, the constable’s men went back to the house with him. Once inside, they were greeted by a ghastly sight. Every person in the family had been murdered, each in a different way and different location. And the servant, well...he was found in his room, hanging from a rope around his neck. The constable concluded that, for whatever reason, the servant must have plotted to kiss his masters and then take his own life… …and since the perpetrator was now dead, they decided that the case was closed. However, sometime later, several facts came to light that gave rise to new doubts. First, the only person who wasn’t killed—the oldest son—had been on extremely bad terms with his siblings. And he has purchased a gun just like the one used in the murders shortly before they occurred. Also, the postman witnessed the servant and the oldest son arguing prior to the killings… …which led people to think that maybe the oldest son was the true killer. Perhaps the servant had tried to stop him, but ended up being killed as well in the process… …and then, the oldest son strung him up by his neck to make it look like he committed suicide. …In the end, the truth never came to light. For several years afterwards, the oldest son lived in the house by himself, until he eventually died of old age. Even after he dies, unsettling rumors about the house continued to swirl. It was supposed to be vacant, and yet people claimed to have seen several figures moving about inside at night. They said they could hear the voices of people arguing and screaming… So, at some point, the house was given a name. “The House of Lamentation,” they called it…”
— Lucifer giving the story of the House of Lamentation (Chapter 12-8)
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turtletaubwrites · 2 days
Text
Numbers Game ~ Part 19
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Pairings: Cross Guild x Fem!Reader x Shanks
Numbers Game Masterlist
Word Count: 3885
Ao3 Link
Summary: You reveal your secret.
Author's Note: Thank you soo much for all of the support and encouragement, especially with the last chapter! I hope you enjoy this one! 😭💜🙏🏼 (BIG DRAMA & EMOTIONS WARNING)
Alternate POV Symbols:
🌲 ~ Flashbacks from Reader's Past | 🐊 ~ Crocodile | 🗡 ~ Mihawk | 🤡 ~ Buggy | 🔴 ~ Shanks | (These symbols will bracket sections to denote the POV shift)
!!! SPOILER WARNING !!! Fic contains spoilers for the end of the Wano arc
Rating/Warnings: Author May Choose to Exclude some Warnings to Avoid Spoilers for Certain Chapters, Explicit Sexual Content, 18+ ONLY, MDNI, AFAB!Reader, She/Her Pronouns for Reader, Reader-Insert, Use of Y/N, Dark Content, Blood & Violence, Swearing, Alcohol, Cigars, Smut, Fluff, Angst, Drama, Jealousy, Manipulation, Humiliation, Pet Names, Power Imbalance, Cross Guild boys are VILLAINS, Possessive Behavior, Teasing, Threats, Size Difference, Daddy Kink, Vaginal Fingering, PIV Sex, Hair-Pulling, Inappropriate Use of Akuma no Mi | Devil Fruit Powers, Shameless Shameless Smut, Other Additional Tags to Be Added
| masterlist | about me | rules | ao3 |
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“Can I have a drink?”
Four powerful pirates blinked at you. 
It was strange to be on this side of the coffee table. Buggy sat in your spot on the couch between the other leaders of the Guild, while Shanks had pulled up a chair beside Crocodile.
Your green, velvet chair felt like an examination table. Like you were under a microscope, about to get chopped into tiny pieces to be studied. 
Buggy had clung to you all morning, barely going a moment without touching you during breakfast. You were grateful he hadn’t tried to feed you any fruit. That thought sent your eyes flicking toward the red haired pirate, more bile climbing up your throat. Buggy’s floating hand rested on yours while they all stared, but you couldn’t get yourself to hold onto it. 
“What would you like to–”
“I’ll get it,” you jumped up, cutting Mihawk off, and leaving Buggy’s hand to float alone when you pushed it away to stand. The little bar felt like miles away, and you grabbed the first thing you could see. Crocodile’s stinky scotch in its pretty crystal bottle. You poured a heaping glass, vaguely hearing a reaction from the couch before you chugged the burning liquor.
“What the fuck, baby?”
“Y/N, stop!”
“Don’t— rabbit!”
The three of them surrounded you, snagging the bottle and empty glass from your hands too late while you coughed from that toxic, liquid fire. Crocodile got to you first, kneeling out from the sand at your feet to grab your flushed face, wiping away the stinging tears that you knew wouldn’t be the last. 
“Sweetheart, why–”
“Sweetheart,” you choked out, the sound a mix between a laugh and a sob. “Gods, I’m sorry, I– fuck.” 
The looks on their faces made you want to scream. You rubbed your eyes with the meat of your palms, trying to be less fucking pathetic. 
“Drink, love,” Mihawk soothed, holding a glass of water to your lips. 
“We’re right here, star,” Buggy whispered as he pressed a light kiss to your shoulder. “I’ve got you.”
“It’s okay,” Crocodile promised, leaning his forehead against yours. “You’re our Numbers Girl, no matter what. Alright?”
Your body slumped, nodding as you let them guide you back under that microscope. Shanks was staring at you, but nothing meant anything anymore, so you didn’t bother to study his face. 
They let you sit there. Time was empty. It could have been minutes or years before you finally mustered up the energy to ruin everything.
“I’m fucking stupid,” you announced with a sharp laugh, feeling insane. 
Maybe I am. Maybe he did put me away. 
“Don’t talk like tha–”
“What do you mean, sweet girl?”
“You.” 
Growling at your scarred lover, confessions, and a suicidal accusation flowed through your body, spilling out through your eyes and lips. 
“You were going to kill us if I wasn’t useful. I could have been free, but I… I called those people for you.”
Crocodile’s face was as cold and unmoving as stone, a cliff you could leap off of. 
If only you could have stopped. No one said a word, but the energy was already rolling through you, destroying everything, your throat still raw from that fucking scotch. 
“I was an idiot. I was fucking kidding myself thinking I could wait, thinking I could have a few more days.” Your manic laughter turned to pain, a sob hitting your last words. 
Glancing up at the couch, you saw your three men clenching their jaws. Crocodile’s arm was wrapped around Buggy, that large hand digging into Mihawk’s shoulder, while Mihawk had grabbed Buggy’s floating hand, gripping it in his own lap before it could fly to you. 
“There’s no way I could hide it. Someone at the party will say it…”
“Say what,” Buggy rasped after a long moment. 
Your eyes poured over your men one more time before it was over. 
“My name.”
Everyone paused, and you remembered Shanks was there. His face was a mask, unreadable, and you were grateful for another reason to ignore it. 
“Are you saying that your name is a lie,” Crocodile asked in a dangerous purr. 
“No. None of you ever asked what my last name was,” you pointed out, then laughed as you looked between them. “I guess pirates don’t really care about last names.”
The laughter died in your throat, tears streaming now in your moment of defeat. 
“What’s your name,” Mihawk asked, his voice more gentle than you’d ever heard. 
It’s over. 
“Y/N Sylvad.”
“Like the wood company?”
You clamped your hands over your mouth, the shock of laughter that burst through you at Buggy’s confused face, his cute question, almost had you believing it would be alright. 
But the other men in the room shifted. Crocodile pulled his arm away from the other two to rest his elbows on his knees, leaning toward you while he answered his clown.
“Not a company. A fucking empire. Sylvad’s Lumber and Shipping. Is that what you’re telling us right now?”
“Yes,” you breathed, already watching their eyes change. Already watching them forget who you were. 
“Keep going,” he ordered, his words cold, ice building up around you. 
“It’s not mine,” you begged them to believe you. “Dad died and…”
You couldn’t. You didn’t know where to start, or if it even mattered now. 
“Arbo Sylvad was your dad,” Shanks murmured, sitting up a little straighter while he studied you. 
“You’re Sylvad’s heiress.”
“No, I'm not,” you snapped at Mihawk, not caring when his golden eyes flared at you. “Uncle Cedrick got everything. Dad always said it would go to… I was fifteen when he…”
Crocodile’s silver eyes were like molten metal, and you choked on your grief as you watched him stand. He walked to that giant desk of his, and when he returned to drop your thick notebook in your lap, you flinched, bracing for pain. 
“Unreliable,” he growled, tapping the notebook with his hook as he brought his eyes down to yours, his frightening face so close. 
“Everything I said was true,” you pleaded, mind blanking out with fear while Mihawk came to touch Crocodile’s shoulder. He didn’t budge, and though your mouth went dry, you forced yourself to explain. “Those people are unreliable! They'd talk to people that could cause problems for the Guild. People with connections to the Marine’s.”
“Like your Uncle?”
“What do you mean, boss,” Buggy tried to redirect, his hand on the hook that was digging into the back of the chair, his body leaning against the larger man’s shoulder. “They just sell trees and stuff, right?”
“Every single Marine ship on the fucking water right now was built with Sylvad wood,” Crocodile fumed, Mihawk’s hand stroking along his arm as you shrank beneath those silver eyes. “Hells, almost every ship that sails out of Water 7 is built with that lumber.”
“I don’t get it,” Shanks complained from his chair, though you couldn’t see him past the angry man in front of you. “If you’re the heiress of Sylvad’s, why were you working? You were an accountant or something, right?”
“Investment banker,” Buggy bragged, and you almost smiled that he remembered. “My girl’s a fancy financial advisor.”
“Let’s give our girl some breathing room, Crocodile. We don’t know everything yet.”
You only heard Mihawk’s whispered words because Crocodile was a hair's breadth away. He brought his thumb to rub along one of your cheeks, and the back of his hook to smooth along the other. 
“Tell daddy everything, alright, sweetheart?”
Your eyes fluttered shut until he pressed into your cheeks, slow tears falling from your eyes when you nodded for him. 
“Yes, daddy.”
The warm kiss he pressed to your temple made you want to disappear. Nothing. Nothing ever again. 
You were barely there as the words fell from your lips. Eyes unfocused, hanging loosely around the little table by Mihawk’s seat. You smiled to yourself when you realized it looked strange without a glass of wine on it. 
“Dad died on a business trip. Freak storm. Left everything to Uncle Cedrick. Kat and I got our trust funds for school. Mom got nothing.”
“I think we’ll need more than that, little rabbit,” Mihawk cautioned as he glanced over at Crocodile's stern face. 
“Can I have a drink fir–”
“No,” said the three men on the couch. 
Holding your head in your hands for a bit, you tried to figure out how to say the least amount of painful words to get them to leave you alone. 
“Uncle took us in. He was such a caring person, taking in his brother’s poor daughters, his lonely wife,” you spat, venom dripping from your lips. “I didn’t want to belong to him. My trust fund paid for the best education out there, but all my friends stopped… When they knew I had nothing to give them, they treated me like shit. I kept doing what I'm good at, and I got the fuck out. Went to go live that stupid, boring life.” 
Growling with the frustration of spilling this pathetic, entitled trash, you stood to pace behind your chair, waving your notebook around as if you could make it burst into flames with your will alone. 
“I am fucking amazing at my job, but most of these people just looove the thought of the poor little heiress helping them get richer. Most of them can’t wait to put me in their little collection. Add me to their fucking shelf. Just gotta ask Uncle how much his little niece– FUCK!”
The notebook went flying, skidding across the floor while you shoved the heavy chair over, yelling, raging, kicking that stupid green chair until your shoes fell off, your toes fucking hurt, until your clown stopped you.
“Baby, please,” he soothed, his upper body floating to keep your struggling form from reaching anything on the ground to hit. “It’s okay, star, I’m right here. Fuck those assholes, right? Who needs ‘em!”
Part of you felt guilty for not laughing at his sweet attempt, but the rest of you needed to fight or flee. 
Flee from these powerful men that were already using you to make money. 
“Put me down!”
Buggy’s whispered, “star,” hurt like hell. You held yourself still when he set you down gently, back in your spot as you faced the couch again, although your chair was kicked off to the side. 
“Wanna know how high to set the ransom,” you challenged, your clenched fists shaking at your sides. You couldn’t think clearly enough to read their darkened eyes, even Buggy’s as he took his place between them. “Just so you know, Uncle doesn’t like me that much. He’d probably be happier if you killed me. Or you could buy me, that’d make him extra hap–”
Sand. 
Sand flooded the space around you. It lifted you off the ground, and your breath caught as the coffee table got thrown to the side. You met those silver eyes just before you were in his arms, your legs stretched across the laps of the other men on the couch. 
“What…” you wondered, mind in a daze.
“You thought I’d sell my sweet girl,” Crocodile hummed, kissing the top off your head.
“You told me you would,” you reminded, your body and mind feeling distant, separate from whatever this strange world had become. “How much am I worth? Just keep being valuable, useful? You were already gonna sell me or kill me before you knew what a goldmine I was.”
The icy anger that laced your words made every hand on you go still. Crocodile froze as he started to rock you, and your body couldn’t choose between guilt at hurting them, or anger and fear at what they would do. 
“I think I’m drunk,” you whispered, wanting them to let you go, and wishing that they never would.
“No shit,” Buggy laughed, “I’m surprised you’re alive after that.”
His hands started massaging your legs on his lap, rubbing up and down nervously while you closed your eyes.
“Can I go lie down?”
“I’ll take you, star.”
Crocodile and Mihawk’s hands dragged along your skin as Buggy lifted you into the air, but neither stopped him from taking you. Neither stopped him from floating you away.
Neither called you pretty names as you left the room. 
~~~🤡🤡🤡~~~
“I’ve got you,” Buggy promised. 
Getting her onto that giant bed felt like a race. Something was right behind him. Something would stop him.
Something would take her away again. 
Finally there, he wrapped his arms around her, leaning against the headboard while her scotch scented breath warmed his chest. 
“Your breath stinks, baby.”
Maybe it was a laugh, but that choked sound made his chest tight, like a huge hand was crushing his ribcage. 
I can’t do anything. Fucking useless. Can’t help her.
“Buggy…”
“Shh, I’m right here, star,” he promised. The sound of his name on those quivering lips sent fire, rage, and guilt straight through him. “I’m not going anywhere.”
He could never leave her. He could never leave her with them after this. Even if they…
Buggy kissed her temple, trying to be soothing while he waited for them to crash through the door.
Waited for them to take her from him.
~~~🤡🤡🤡~~~
~~~
~~~🐊🗡️🐊🗡️~~~
Not a sound.
Not a sound filled the air as the men in the lounge sat with the news that their little lover was the heiress of Sylvad’s.
Not a sound from the two men on the couch as her accusations weighed on them, as though she hadn’t left their laps with those angry, frightened tears in her eyes. 
“That sure is something,” Shanks whistled softly. He stood to pick up Y/N’s chair, sitting across from them. “What are you gonna do with—“
“Find somewhere else to be,” Crocodile fumed, his body vibrating with the need to hurt something.
Shanks nodded, giving a crooked smile, before leaving them alone. Mihawk stared after his old friend, images of comfort he couldn’t provide burning behind his eyes.
He’s going to take them both. 
Serves us right.
Crocodile’s angry huff pulled Mihawk out of those thoughts, watching the man stomp toward the bar. The coffee table his sand had moved laid in his path, until it splintered and scattered from the touch of his vicious foot in that lovely shoe. 
The swordsman floated after him, still in a daze while the larger man imitated their girl, chugging a glass of scotch. 
Mihawk stared, but didn’t speak, didn’t touch.
Crocodile set the glass down before he shattered another one. 
“She lied—“
“Can you blame her,” Mihawk laughed coldly while the other man paced. Silver eyes shot like daggers, but Mihawk couldn’t seem to care about anything at the moment. “She told the truth, just not all—“
“She didn’t trust me.”
He sat again, staring at the floor after those stupid words had left him.
“I don’t…” Mihawk started, pushing himself to move, pushing himself to try. He sat down, and touched a hand to Crocodile’s shoulder, leaving it there after his scarred lover flinched. “We haven’t given her much reason to, have we?”
Not a sound after that. 
~~~🐊🗡️🐊🗡️~~~
~~~
~~~🌲🌲🌲~~~
“Y/N! You can’t just leave,” Kat reasoned, pulling the clothes out of your hands before you could stuff them into your suitcase. “What about mom? What about the company?”
“Mom made her choices,” you growled, pulling the clothes back from your sister’s shaky hands. “And I don’t care about the fucking company. It’s not mine.”
“Not if—“ 
“It’s not mine. I’m sick of this fucking life. I’m getting out.”
“... What about me?”
That stopped you. But only for a moment. 
“I’m sure he’d let you come if—“
“Are you fucking kidding me right now,” she shouted, pushing you toward your messy suitcases. “He’s a pirate! If he doesn’t hurt you before, what do you think he’ll do when he finds out who you are?”
“I don’t care,” you fumed as you stared your little sister down. “I'm bored of this stupid life.”
Kat’s mouth hung open, the hurt and pain in her eyes making you want to take it all back, to beg for forgiveness.
But you couldn’t. You couldn’t waste this chance to be free. 
“You really have a death wish, you know that? That clown is going to get you killed,” Kat breathed, her voice growing colder as she turned to leave. She didn’t look back when she said her goodbye, just waved her hand over her shoulder. “I’ll look out for the ransom note.”
~~~🌲🌲🌲~~~
Sleep?
Sleep.
Burning sleep, and stormy seas.
Dad’s voice calling for you. 
You could never find him before the ship went under, before all that Sylvad wood splintered beneath the raging waves.
~~~🤡🔴🤡🔴~~~
“Buzz off, idiot,” Buggy ordered in a harsh whisper, Shanks’ smiling face peeking through the cracked door. Buggy had left his body on the bed to hold Y/N as she whimpered, nightmares ruining her scotch and stress induced nap. 
His head floated by the door, frowning at his old friend. 
“It’ll just be a second, Bugs, I swear.”
Shanks’ smile stretched even wider when Buggy agreed, floating his head out into the corridor.
“This better be good, asshat.”
Shanks felt it. This was it. He could have them both. 
He needed them both. 
“Let’s take her with us, Bugs.” 
Buggy’s look of shock was exaggerated by those red lips of his, and Shanks had to hold himself back from kissing them.
“But she… but it’s dangerous…”
Buggy wasn’t sure he’d actually heard those words, or if he’d fallen asleep, dreaming beside his star. Too many emotions rushed through him, but all he could think about was her. 
“Would you rather leave her here with them,” Shanks rasped, his eyes doing that heavy thing they do, although there wasn’t much of Buggy’s body to drag them down. “We can protect her. You and me, Bugs.”
The clown had to fight his body to stay still as he held her in the other room. The need to move, to fidget, to pace, made him dizzy. 
“What if she doesn’t wanna go,” Buggy wondered. Images of Y/N smiling, laughing, screaming, flew through his mind, each one making him doubt that he could ever make her as happy as she’d seemed once things had started to settle here. 
“I already asked her. I know she’ll say yes. She wants you to be happy, Bugs. Just like I do,” Shanks confessed, brushing a bit of blue hair out of Buggy’s face. He rubbed his thumb across those red, parted lips. 
So close to everything. 
“When did—“
“Buggy?”
Shanks watched his clown fly away from him, hopeful that it’d be the last time. 
Buggy flew away from his old friend, every confusing thought going blank besides the need to comfort that soft, scared voice. 
“Right here, got you, baby.”
~~~🤡🔴🤡🔴~~~
“Buggy,” you whimpered as new tears fell. 
“Shh, you’re okay. Everything’s okay.”
Painted lips covered your face, kissing your tears away until you shivered, his soothing hum blocking out everything else. 
His touch kept it all at bay. 
Every split second of memory was grief, so you curled against him, running your hand along his side. Your body writhed, whining for him as he stroked your hair and back, then pulled away.
“Hey, star, it’s o—“
“Please, touch me, Buggy,” you begged as you reached for him. “I need you so much, I need you…” 
Pathetic grief poured back in at the memory of what you’d witnessed last night, but you couldn’t fight your need for him. 
“Please, touch me.”
“Just tell me if it’s alright, okay, star," he breathed after pausing to study your face, tracing his fingers along your cheeks.
“Please,” you gasped, his lips on your neck were saving your life. Saving you from your mind. 
A touch against Mihawk’s tender bite mark brought the world back, but then Buggy was tearing you both out of your clothes, kissing down your arms, your chest, your stomach. Kissing every inch of your skin until you were crying with need instead of pain. 
Begging, begging for more. 
“Don’t worry, I’m here. I’ll take care of you, star.”
“Bug—“
Breathy, desperate moans left your throat as his fingers plunged deep inside you, and he swallowed the rest of your sounds in a wild kiss. His tongue was eating, tasting, and you almost laughed into his mouth at the memory of scotch, until his free hand found your clit. 
The fingers inside you were perfect, knowing exactly what you needed. Finding that spot, giving you steady touches that built in pressure and speed until you were clenching around his fingers, body shaking with pleasure and gratitude. 
“So beautiful,” Buggy praised, his voice full of a quiet awe as he smiled down at you. “You okay, baby?”
“Fuck me, Buggy,” you pleaded as your weak arms failed to pull him closer. “I need you inside me. Need to feel you.”
His eyes were wide, concerned, but he smiled when he kissed you. 
Smiled when he gave you everything you needed. 
~~~🤡🤡🤡~~~
How?
How can she be real?
How can she want me this much?
Want me after everything…
Buggy pushed those thoughts aside as he smoothed his ungloved hands down her body. 
Hands that he felt safe letting her touch. Just like his bare face that he could let her see. 
He let out his own soft, needy noise as he watched her writhe and squirm, begging for him to touch her.
“Fuck,” he hissed, just the touch of her perfect, dripping pussy against his sensitive tip was too much. Too much as he lined himself up.
“Look at me, Buggy,” Y/N cried out, her watery eyes swallowing him whole, just as he sank his cock deeper and deeper. He couldn’t hold in his moans at the pure fucking bliss that she held inside her, that she let him feel. 
“Look at me, please.”
Buggy kept his eyes on hers, her request setting off alarm bells in his mind that he had to shut down, throw out. 
She wants to look at me like this. She wants to see my face. There’s only one per—
“Buggy! I’m close, please,” she panicked, reaching up into his hair, pulling gently as her breathing went ragged. “Need to feel you, want you so bad.”
“I want you too, star, I’m right— oh gods, baby. Fuck, you feel soo good…”
Y/N screamed his name.
His name. 
Over and over while he shoved his cock as far as he could go, claiming that sweet, warm pleasure she let him take. 
Y/N pulled him in, her body made to take his come, made to milk him, to drain him, to let him fuck it back into her while she babbled, while her eyes crossed, while that cute little tongue hung out of her perfect lips.
All for him. 
Still sunk deep inside her, Buggy soothed and calmed her frantic noises, kissing her temple.
“I love you so much. My shining star.”
What a feeling to say those words. What a feeling to mean them. To have someone to say them to. 
“I love you, Buggy. I love you so much.”
What a feeling.
~~~🤡🤡🤡~~~
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Likes, comments, and reblogs bring me much ✨dopamine✨ thank you!!
a/n: I've been so nervous to add anything new to this world. I hope you don't mind some back story. And some Buggy time 😭😭😭
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Tag List: @shewrites02 | @caniseethefourthsword | @hey-august | @chaoticqueen33 | @destinationmars | @novakitten0901 | @h0n3y-l3m0n05 | @dorky-birdie | @szired | @pinejayy | @laws-wife-things | @jadeddangel | @gingernut1314 | @urlocaltwink | @blue-rae18 | @bontensbabygirl | @bbnbhm | @0-sparkling-lace-0 | @ihearthazuki | @mikisspeak
Part 20
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Operation Olive Branch has compiled a working spreadsheet of ways to help families fleeing from the genocide in Palestine. If you enjoyed this fic, and are able, please click the link to find a list of GoFundMe's, as well as other ways to help.
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| masterlist | about me | rules | ao3 |
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don't overthink when you could be loving me - sebastian aho
summary: Your inadvertent friendship with some of the Canes players was not something you advertized in your day-to-day life. But an evening of Friday night drinks changes that when you find yourself trapped in the same bar with your co-workers and one love-struck Sebastian Aho who’s determined to make it known that you’re spoken for… well, tentatively that is. 
word count: 6.2k
author's note: one month in the making and i'm not even convinced that this is of any quality. but if i don't put it out now, i never will. i'm going to do another proofread but don't worry, if there are going to be any edits, it'll just be fixing up typos / grammar.
tag list: @kashee-h
You won’t lie. You weren’t always the biggest believer in keeping your personal life and work life separate. 
Despite the numerous warnings about how “your colleagues are not your friends”, you couldn’t help but merge the two words into a synonymous figure. By this point in your life, you could probably ballpark that half of your closest friends were acquired from the various roles you were appointed. You’ve always felt like you’ve lucked out in that department. 
The moment when your luck seemed to wear out was at your very first grad role. 
With a newly minted finance degree in one hand and just about $50,000 in the other, the bar wasn’t set particularly high in terms of quality for a grad role. So when you received the congratulatory phone call from human resources, you didn’t care about the questionably low pay or how weirdly vague your interviewers were about overtime practices, you were just happy to finally have something substantial splashed across your resume. 
Your first month wasn’t anything to write home about. As expected, everyone was cordial, you were given grunt work, and you would routinely eat tune rice and veg for lunch - something that was weirdly unique to the corporate world. 
Where the comfort flipped was the night that the firm hosted its annual Thank You Dinner. What was announced as a company event hosted by the executives to say thank you to its employees for their efforts was actually disguised as a night of debauchery at the expense of the firm’s bottom line - but you didn’t know that yet. 
So when a passing comment about the Canes turns into a full-blown conversation piece at your table, your wine-induced lips couldn’t help but let something slip. 
It’s not like you ran around advertising the fact that you were family friends with Seth Jarvis growing up. But hockey culture was thriving in Raleigh and moments where a mention of the Canes wasn’t thrown into the mix rarely occurred. 
More often than not, you were happy to pass on any unused tickets that Seth had reserved in your name every year. Of course, generally, nobody questions where the tickets came from the first time around - free tickets are free tickets. But by the fourth round? Who would still believe that you just accidentally purchased lower-bowl seats not knowing you already had plans? 
You would eventually let up that maybe you were better acquainted with the Canes than on just a last-name and number basis. And the reactions that followed usually panned out the same way. You’d receive looks that crossed between amazement and disbelief, followed by thirty minutes of inquisitioning, and then the excitement of the news would eventually fade before moving on to something salacious that had happened earlier that week. 
But the news of your affiliation that night was volatile. 
Suddenly, your tickets weren’t viewed as a generous offering but rather as a right. People in different departments whom you had never met started taking you out for lunches with a casual mention of how they hadn’t ever been to a live game; your boss expected you to give them up for the sake of appeasing potential clients; girls would invite you out with the hopes of them showing up to wherever you were. 
You handed in your resignation six months later. 
So when you signed your letter of offer for your new role, you made a silent promise to yourself to keep that portion of your life separate. So, you distanced yourself. 
Seth had noticed. He had known that you would occasionally give up your tickets when you knew you weren’t able to make a game. But as more and more weeks had passed, he had maybe seen your seats filled twice: once by a few of your closest girlfriends and the other was when your parents had come to town for a long weekend. 
Outings with him and the team became infrequent as you declined to attend any sort of public event that would bear the risk of you being caught out by your new colleagues. And when you were eventually questioned why, you simply excused that your new job had you locked down. 
The second person to notice your increasing absence was Sebastian. 
Since Seth’s rookie days, you had been, on more than several occasions, his plus one to team events. And over the years, you had gotten to know some of the younger members who were able to keep up with Seth’s redbull-fueled energy. That included Sebastian. 
The first time you had actually properly spoken to him was at a Canes charity gala. Seth and KK had been swept into a conversation by a few board members, leaving you to quietly people-watch from your assigned seat. 
****
“Refill?” 
You turned to find Sebastian with an arm extended out; a glass of champagne delicately sat between his fingers. You returned a grateful smile as he sat down in Seth’s seat. 
“You manage to avoid the noise fest?” you lightly poked, looking over at Seth where Andrei and Jack were now caught. 
He let out a laugh and shook his head while looking down, “I’ve definitely done my fair share of the sucking up.”
“You didn’t feel like joining your boyfriend?” 
You choked on your drink as soon as the assumption left his mouth. You couldn’t help but begin laughing as you coughed up a response, “Oh my god, no. Seth and I grew up together back home. Our parents were close friends.” 
His cheeks flushed red at the revelation. 
“Oh, I’m sorry. I just assumed because you’ve come to a few of these things with him before and you’re at our games a lot,” he tried to reason as he rubbed the back of his neck to ease the embarrassment. 
You shook your head with the same amused donned across your face, “he’s really never mentioned that we grew together as kids?”
“I’m sure he’s mentioned it but it’s hard to catch everything he says. He talks… a lot.” 
You couldn’t help but giggle at the blunt statement. 
You had found it easy to talk to Sebastian. The conversation flowed seamlessly, from the standard questioning of each other’s jobs to the shared ache of missing home. Before you knew it, Seth had returned with a sheepish look on his face; apologetic for his disappearance but not missing the flash of disappointment across his teammate’s face when you said goodnight. 
After that, the trajectory of your relationship with Sebastian had shifted into something more. Sure, you both became closer as friends, growing comfortable in the presence of one another. But as time went on you couldn’t help but feel like the line between you two would occasionally go hazy; blurring completely on a night out following a hard-fought win. 
****
Every summer that comes around reminds you of how incomprehensible the energy can be in Raleigh. 
The city came alive as holidayers passed through, the nights drew out longer, and the cool drinks were more than welcome from people who were looking to escape the heat. Which is how you found yourself sitting at a beer hall three blocks from your office in downtown Raleigh.  
Unsurprisingly, the bar was packed on a Friday evening and you could only expect it to ramp up even more when your eyes fell on the sight of a band setting up stage for the night. 
“Here, grab these first and I’ll bring over the rest.”
Maddy slides over 3 glasses to you and pulls out her card to start a tab for the table. You met Maddy on your first day when you were doing the round with HR. They had introduced her as your “office buddy”, to which Maddy later rolled her eyes at and reassured you that she wouldn’t be as micro-managing as they had made it out to be. 
She took you to lunch and gave you her version of the onboarding special which basically involved giving you the run down of who you didn’t want to piss off if you ever wanted to be promoted. 
It wasn’t long before you both became each other’s go-to person at work when things went to shit and sometimes the occasional debrief session at Thursday wines where she updated you about how her dating life was tracking. 
You pull together the glasses and place them into a firm grasp between your hands before turning around to make a beeline for the table with Maddy trailing behind you. There are a few familiar faces from your team and some that you don’t think you’ve ever met before but you know that Maddy is a big fan of getting into the good graces of other departments. 
Your phone screen lights up before you can even take a sip from the glass causing you to divert your attention. 
Last weekend before we’re due back for pre-season training. Come out with us tonight? - Jarvy 
You feel a pang of guilt with the sudden reminder that Seth just unintentionally gave you. 
Your MIA-ness had begun a month before the playoffs started. Granted you still followed every game from the comfort of your home, but your continued in-person absence did not go unnoticed. Even more so after the 4-0 Conference Finals loss to the Panthers, where Sebastian wanted nothing more than to feel the comfort of your presence to ease the heartbreak. 
Instead, he had to settle for an “I’m sorry.” text. 
And in your defence, you had tried to see him when they returned home but the timing was never quite right as Sebastian took off for Finland a few weeks later as a last-minute guest for his cousin’s wedding. 
You were able to catch Seth a handful of times before he also took flight: Winnipeg for home, Chicago for Lollapalooza, and Cabo with KK and Svech from the look of his Instagram stories. 
He waved away your apologies and said he understood that you were flat out with work and that he hoped you weren’t working yourself too hard. All you could do was return a meek smile and be thankful that he didn’t press about it further. 
Your fingers hovered over the keyboard, trying to rack your brain for an excuse that wouldn’t leave any room for further persuasion. 
Sorry :( feeling too run down from the week. Next time though! 
You take one more look at your phone as Seth sends you the ‘Boo, You Whore!’ gif from Mean Girls, causing you to crack a small smile. 
“Better offer somewhere else?” 
Your head snaps up and meets the eyes of one of the unfamiliar faces sitting across you. 
“I don’t think we’ve met before. I’m Charlie, I just joined the legal counsel,” he offers with a smile. And it’s a pretty damn good smile too.
You’re quickly swept up into a conversation with Charlie. You learn that he recently relocated from Boston, he has a labrador named Ollie, and that he’s heard of a fantastic restaurant down the road that he’s been “dying” to check out with someone. That last part is followed with a mischievous glint in his eyes.  
He’s not bad-looking, you’ll give him that much. Maybe a year ago he would have been your type. But lately, you’ve seemed to turn away from the sharp jawlines and blue eyes, and instead look for softer and warmer features with maybe a small scar carved into the bottom of their lip...
Wait, what? 
You shake the thought out of your head and instead focus back on Charlie’s current story: some embarrassing run-in with your boss, on his first day. 
You’re shaking from laughter at this point, “No way! Did she say anything to you later on?” 
Charlie grins as he places his head in his hands, “Yeah, it was such a shame job. When I got my first official meeting with her, it was-” 
You watch him trail off as his eyes dart to look at you. No, not at you. Behind you? 
“Well, well, well. Feeling better, eh?” 
You recognize that shit-eating tone anywhere. 
“Oh Jesus Christ,” you mutter under your breath. You turn around and find Seth smirking down at you like he’s found a deer in the headlights. 
“Must have been a pretty quick recovery considering you were sick only two hours ago,” he derides, sliding into the empty spot next to you. You’ve only just realized that your whole table is now empty besides you and Charlie. A quick whip around tells you that they’ve all moved to the nearby pool tables. 
“Seth,” you say calmly, “what are you doing here?” 
“I told you. Last weekend before practice starts.” 
“Yeah, but you don’t even like it here. I’ve literally heard you call it the worst bar in the world,” you argue back.
Seth’s about to open his mouth for some quick retaliation but Charlie beats him to it. 
“You’re Seth Jarvis,” he says. The look he gives is nothing short of bewilderment as he puts together that Seth Jarvis knows you. 
“Hey man, how you doing? Always nice to meet a fan,” Seth nods with an outstretched hand to Charlie. 
Charlie slowly shakes his hand, still reeling in from the newfound piece of information he’s just learned. “Oh, well I’m from Boston so not exactly a fan of you.” 
Seriously? Who even says something like that? 
You refuse to meet Seth’s side eye in an attempt to dodge the embarrassment you feel from Charlie’s unwarranted dig. He’s unsure how to respond to the hostility but the moment of awkwardness is cleared by a second voice appearing. 
“Jarvy, Burnsie found a table outside - let’s go...”
Your head snaps towards the voice and you find Sebastian looking right back. He’s taken aback and stumbles on his words for a second but recomposes himself just as quickly. 
“Hey, where have you b-,” he begins to step forward but falters as his eyes properly assess the scene before him. You and Charlie. Together. Alone. 
“Oh. Are you in the middle of something?” he hesitates, flickering between you and Charlie; unsure of what to make of the situation. 
Your eyes widen slightly before clearing your throat, “Oh, um no. This is Charlie. He recently moved to our office from Boston.” 
God, you feel so small right now. Here you were, seeing Sebastian for the first time in months and you can’t even muster up the courage to properly say hello. 
“Well, we’re gonna go back to our table. Find us at some point, yeah?” 
Seth gives Charlie a final cautious look before he pats Sebastian on the back, guiding them both to a table on the veranda. 
The rest of your group comes flooding back to the table having witnessed the sight unfold from afar. If Charlie keeps his mouth shut, surely you can play it off as a lucky fan interaction?
“Holy shit! Do you know who they were? Tell me you do because I will seriously freak if you tell me you don’t know,” Maddy furiously whispers with wide eyes. 
“I don’t know, Maddy. Seemed like she’s more than well-acquainted by the look on Aho’s face,” Charlie said dryly, bringing a bottle to his lips with a raised eyebrow. 
You’re a bit taken aback by his insinuation. 
“Um, Seth and I grew up together back home,” you slowly let out, “it was just a coincidence that we both ended up in Raleigh.” 
“Wait, so you’re telling me that you’re friends with Seth Jarvis? Are you kidding me? You’ve only heard me talk about the Canes like a thousand times,” she gapes at you with an incredulous look. 
Here we go. 
The rest of your group wasn’t privy to your admission, being too caught up with the sight of the team being mere yards away from them. 
“Look, I don’t know. I just don’t like using his name like that. It makes me feel gross.” you sigh, rubbing your arms. 
“I’d just rather we drop it. Please?” 
You shoot her a look to which Maddy softens; understanding that the topic has hit a bit of a sore spot for you. 
“Okay yeah, of course. You don’t owe anyone an explanation.” 
The mass intrigue of the boys’ presence soon dies off as people slowly realize that they’re about as interesting to watch drinking as the next table is. Conversations resume back to normal and you try your best to feign interest but the knowledge that he’s the closest that you guys have been in months won’t leave you alone. 
So twenty more minutes pass by and you’re ready to throw in the towel. You’ve decided that you’ll deal with the situation another day - preferably when you can string together a proper sentence. After a quick goodbye and the promise of a home-safe text to Maddy, you gather your things and start making headway for the exit. 
The weakness in you can’t help but take one final look at Sebastian before you step out for the night but he’s beaten you to it. His eyes are already fixed on you with the same look you had become all too familiar with. 
****
Saturday night. Seth’s Birthday. Shut-out win over Vegas. No game scheduled until Wednesday. 
Individually, they’re considered lawfully good events. Combined? It’s as if someone was testing to see if Carolina even knew the definition of chaos. And when have they ever backed down from a challenge? 
You let out a huff of air as you fall back into the booth. You had finally managed to escape Seth and Jesperi from the dance floor. If there was ever a case to be made about the negative long-term effects of Redbull, those two were it. 
“Oh my god, how were you even out there for that long?” 
Martin’s girlfriend, Nykki, opens up her arm and lets you lean in. Her leather jacket is a cool contrast to your warm and flushed body. 
“Don’t let them take me again,” you whine as the ache in your feet comes flooding in. She giggles and affectionately pats your head. 
Your eyes skim over the crowd, taking count of where everyone was. Brady, Kuzy and Martin by the bar. Andrei, Jack and Pyotr occupied with a group of girls. Seth and Jesperi still unabashedly dancing but now sporting a pair of shades that you had a sneaky suspicion they found on the floor. As if your eyes knew before your brain, they’re scanning the room again to find what’s missing. 
“He stepped away to the bathroom.” 
Your eyes tear away from the crowd and you sit yourself up, pulling the closest drink to your lips to avoid the direction Nykki is heading.
“He was watching you all night, you know? Didn’t listen to a damn thing I said,” she nudges with a knowing smirk. You didn’t think it was possible for your face to heat up anymore. Your continued silence doesn’t deter Nykki though as she decides that she will get you to admit something that you’re not even sure you’re ready to admit to yourself. 
“Why are you both dancing around this? It’s obvious that he likes you. And maybe you won’t ever admit it to me but I can tell that you like him,” Nykki softens, acutely aware that Sebastian could return to the booth at any moment. 
“Do you…” you hesitate, swirling the remnants of your drink in the glass. “Do you ever feel like you’re too exposed sometimes?” 
She furrows her brows, “What do you mean?” 
“There’s this thing that happens, and maybe it’s not often but it happens, where people expect things just because of who you know.
And if it’s true for just simply being friends with Seth, will it be worse if you’re involved with them?” 
“A hockey player definitely wasn’t my first choice,” she says after a moment. “And maybe I wish I knew what it would have meant to be with him.” 
“But,” she quickly recovers, watching your expression fall, “I wouldn’t change anything. It’s not about the world that he can offer me like everyone thinks it is. It’s how he always shows up for me, even when he’s 3000 miles away. It’s those private moments that are enough to make me forget the world is watching us.”
You catch the glowing adoration that’s etched into her face when she gazes across the room, watching her boyfriend laughing with Brady. You’re so wrapped up in ruminating over Nykki’s words that you almost don’t feel the way the cushion sinks next to you. 
“Are you done with that?” 
Sebastian’s voice grounds you back to reality. “Oh, I am but I’ll get another soon.” 
Before you can stop him, he slides back out of the booth again and flags down a bartender. And Nykki doesn’t take a beat to do the same, “I think I’ll join the others,” sending you a small wink. 
Sebastian slides back in setting down three glasses, two for you and one for him. “I thought you’d want some water too. Jarvy didn’t look like he was going to let you leave at any point,” he offers with a smile. 
You let out a laugh and shake your head, “The trick is to run the second he turns his back. Trust me, works every time.” 
“Did you have fun tonight?”
“Me? What about you? 3 assists and a goal? Surely that’s what we’re really celebrating tonight,” you whistle as you twirl the straw between your fingers. 
You don’t miss the way he almost immediately shies up, turning away with the crack of a smile threatening to take over.
“I couldn’t have done it without the guys, they make all of it happen,” he notions. 
You roll your eyes immediately, “I forget how well media-trained you guys are sometimes.” 
“You should be able to enjoy your successes. It’s not about the other guys not being talented, it’s about being able to reflect on how far you’ve come. All of this is the culmination of your dedication, Sebastian. It’s important to remember that.” 
The silence he returns suddenly fills you with regret. Did you say too much? Was it even your place to say anything at all? You need to backpeddle. 
“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have -” you sigh, pushing away your drink. 
“No,” he quickly cuts, “I guess I’ve just never thought about it like that. But it does feel good to hear it.” 
“I like having you at our games” he smiles. “You know you’re part of my warm-up routine?” 
“I am?” 
“Yeah, I play this little game where I try to spell people’s names as fast as I can with the puck. I tried yours once and we won, so I did it the next night and we won again. Now I do it every game to put a little luck into the ice.”
Fuck. His confession renders you speechless. If there were any more doubts about your feelings for Sebastian, they were well and truly effaced now. And suddenly you gain a partial understanding of what Nykki meant. For every game, whether you’re there or not, Sebastian carves a part of you into it. 
You swallow, giving yourself a moment to recollect. “I didn’t think that I was such a game changer,” you softly let out.
You’re not exactly sure when or how it happened but you notice the proximity between you two has significantly lessened. And the arm he has strewn behind you on the top cap suddenly feels misplaced - like they would feel more at home around you. 
And for a brief moment - between the silence you’re both too afraid to break - his eyes break away from yours and flick towards your lips.
He inches closer, “You are… everything.” 
Your breath hitches. Before you can even stop yourself, your hand rests against his neck, gently pulling him in and Sebastian is more than willing to follow. This is it. 
“Guys! KK said his friend can get us into this new club!” 
Your eyes close shut and your hand drops down Sebastian. An agitated sigh leaves him as he reluctantly pulls back. You both look at each other, still caught in the moment that’s now fleed at the sound of Seth’s voice. 
Seth shakes Sebastian, forcing him to break away from your gaze. 
“Did you hear me? KK’s calling us an Uber,” Seth bounces. Not a beat later, Nykki appears and attempts to forcefully pull him away. But it’s Seth. And of course, rightfully so, he wants two of his best friends to come with. 
You quickly down the rest of your drink and step out of the booth, not wanting to bask in the awkwardness any longer. As you step outside, the chill of the wind grounds you back into reality, and you instinctively wrap your hands around your arms. In the peripheral of your vision, you see Nykki rush towards you. 
“I’m so sorry. I tried to grab onto him but he just moved so quickly.” 
You return a small smile, “It’s fine. Really.” 
You link arms with her and she guides you to the Uber that Martin is standing by with the door open. As Nykki climbs in, you turn your head and find Sebastian watching. 
He almost looks hopeful that you’ll follow him. That you’ll both leave the mess of the group behind and find solitude someplace else.
But you don’t. 
Instead, you give a small shake of your head and follow Nykki, with Martin firmly closing the door behind you. 
****
In the years you’ve watched Seth play in Raleigh, you’ve never once seen a game from the suite before. 
But the Monday morning after your run-in with the group, you find yourself opening a calendar invite from your boss to the first home game of the season with a few key clients. So now, you’re perched by the glass, watching the spotlights dancing around the ice and the crowds of people getting settled in for the night. 
“You know we’re meant to be chatting up the clients, right?” 
Of course, Charlie managed to be invited too. 
“I still haven’t been able to swing by that new restaurant I was telling you about. Could be fun to check it out afterwards,” he says, looking out towards the rink. 
“Thanks, Charlie but I think I’m just going to head home the game’s done,” you respond dryly.
He cocks his head with a raised brow, “You know they organized a meet and greet after the game right? The whole reason why we’re here is because the CEO’s son is a huge fan.” 
You don’t love the way your body freezes up at the newly shared information. You appreciated that your friendship with the team hadn’t made it past Maddy and Charlie’s lips, but you weren’t confident that would stay the same after tonight. And that’s the only thing that runs through your mind through all three periods. You can barely converse with the clients as you’re half-distracted by the get-away plan that you’re attempting to draw out in your mind, and it leaves your boss shooting you looks of “get your shit together”. 
The horn sounds off as soon as the clock hits zero. It’s evident that you’re not getting out of this and the only prayer you have left is that the players who join you are the younger rookies who have little to no idea who you are. But you know the chances of that are slim to none. 
You try to push away the anxiousness by listening to a conversation between your boss, Charlie, and the client. 
“All I’m saying is that the reason Boston didn’t make it past the first round was because of how shit some of the calls were against them,” Charlie rambles, oblivious to the unimpressed faces. 
The door of the suite swings open and you find Jordan, Brady, and Sebastian filing in. They’ve all clearly come straight from the showers, still dripping droplets of water from their hair onto the floor. They make their way around the room and shake everyone’s hands, thanking them for their support. Brady is the first to spot you as he gives you a surprised look followed by a welcoming smile. But he reads the panic in your eyes and - being classically perceptive - nods in understanding. 
It doesn’t take another second to pass for Sebastian to register your appearance and amongst the earlier crowding, you’re only now able to fully take in the way he’s dressed. His compression shirt sculpts against him, with the soft lines of his muscles pressing against the fabric. Shorts barely hanging loose against his thighs. A backwards cap sported to tie it all off. It’s enough to make you want to break your silent promise. 
Your eyes can’t help but fixate on him the entire time they circulate with everyone in the room. And while Sebastian tries his damn hardest to remain polite and focus on the conversation at hand, he can’t help but flicker his eyes towards you, making sure you won’t disappear on him again. 
“Thank you so much for your time. We won’t keep you guys any longer, but best of luck with the season ahead. Bring one home for us, hey?” your boss beams. Everyone else has headed home, leaving just you and Charlie waiting for your boss to let you go. 
“Goodnight guys. I’ll see you Monday.” 
And with that, it’s just the five of you left in the suite with a few people on the Hurricanes team off to the side. 
“Well, we better get going if we want to make it to that restaurant,” Charlie says turning towards you. 
Sebastian tenses at this and you see the way Jordan and Brady shoot each other a look. 
“I said I’m going home, Charlie.” You’re shutting this down. 
“I’ll give you a lift then,” he presses. 
Before you can open your mouth to counteract, Sebastian interjects, “You’re not far off from my place, I’ll take you.” 
“Yes, please!”
You’d be embarrassed with how quick you are to jump at his offer if it weren’t for the fact that you so desperately wanted to avoid being confined in a car with Charlie. 
“Thanks bro, but we’ve got it from here.” 
“Actually, I don’t think you do, bro.” 
Charlie looks between you two. Growing annoyed at the situation, he grabs his coat and retreats out of the suit. “Whatever. See you Monday.” 
A sigh leaves your lips and you don’t realize how taut your body is until it eases under the feeling of Sebastian's hand on your shoulder. 
“You guys all good if we take off?” Brady asks, expectedly. Sebastian nods and you all bid goodnight. 
“I just have to grab my things but if you’re tired I can just come back for them tomorrow,” he offers, as Brady and Jordan make their way out. 
You shake your head, “I can hold on, you’re doing me the favour.” 
It doesn’t take long to get back to the locker room, and you can’t help but think about how good he looks when he emerges with his hockey bag hung over one shoulder and a garment bag thrown over the other. 
As you lean against the passenger door, waiting for him to throw his things into the boot, you can’t help but start to grow nervous at the realisation that Sebastian may want to talk about that night. But your nervousness is cut short by Sebastian moving in front of you with a small disc in his hand. 
A puck. 
He looks down at it, fiddling with it between his hands, “It’s from the warm-up. I thought you might like it.”
It’s the puck.  
Your mouth falls open slightly, as you gingerly take it, as if you’re afraid it’ll break if you handle it too hard. 
“I can’t believe you still do that,” you breathe, turning it over, feeling the ridges where the ice has chipped the edges. 
“Of course I do. It changes the game.” 
Your eyes dart up at his choice of words - he remembers. 
“Why did you stop seeing us?” he puts forward. 
You sigh and lean back against the car, turning your head away. 
“Was it because of that night at Jarvy’s birthday? Did you not want to…” he trails off. Even he’s not sure what that night was meant to be. 
“This world that you’re in Sebastian, I just don’t know if it’s for me.”
“I know that we’re away a lot but I-” 
“It’s not that,” you quickly cut off. He returns a confused look and you know, as his eyes search you for an answer, that you owe him this explanation. 
“Before you came back to the table, I was talking to Nykki about how difficult it can get to be involved with a hockey player.” 
“But you’re already involved with us? You were friends with Seth already” he presses.  
“And look where it got me last time. I was forced to leave a job after six months because all anyone cared about was being closer to the Canes than me,” you lamented. 
“I just don’t want to spend the rest of my life feeling like I’m second to the person I’m with; I want to feel equal to them. I want to know who is genuinely trying to be my friend. I want to exist outside of my relationship. I don’t want to have to hide in public because I’m scared to run into people from work.” 
You close your eyes, feeling exhausted by the flood of words leaving your mouth, and you half-expect Sebastian to get into his car and drive off. 
“I didn’t know.” 
You nod in understanding. How could you expect him to know? 
“I would never put you in a position where you wouldn’t feel safe,” he says softly.
“But if that’s what you really want, we can move on from everything. But I need you to know how I feel first.” His hand wraps around the side of your jaw and pulls your gaze towards him. 
“I wanted to know you the moment Seth pointed you out our game for the first time. And then we spoke at the charity gala and I only wanted to know you even more. And then you were around us more, and I got to know you beyond just being Seth’s friend. And what I know I know is that you’re smarter than you let on but you’re still kind. You’ve remained so grounded that you see me as more than just this job. You make me think more deeply than I ever have with anyone else and I don’t want to go back to a life before I had that.” 
You don’t know whether to cry or charge forward. Because after the endless rounds of almosts and what-ifs, you’ve finally caught each other. And the confessions that pour from his mouth left you knowing one thing for certain: you had both waited long enough.
And for the second time, you bring his neck down and finally close the gap between the two of you. Sebastian presses you against the car with his hand wrapping up to rest on the back of your neck, his lips deepening against yours. You never doubted it but his arms feel secure around you, afraid to let go and let the moment be over. 
But you pull away just long enough to let out a murmur, “Take me home, Sebastian” 
****
Six gruelling months pass by and you find yourself at a potential playoff-clinching game with your colleagues. 
Granted your relationship with Sebastian was still very much under wraps, but you had learned to navigate your feelings of discomfort towards the publicity of his job. Sebastian had accommodated your cautiousness. Careful to never spend too long in your section during a pre-game warm up. Made sure to drive around the quiet side of the arena to pick you up afterwards. He had never pushed you to do more than you needed to. 
But even though he’d never tell you, you know he’s quietly envious of the way the guys can openly skate with their partner at family skates. Or how they can sit and openly touch at company events. He had afforded you comfort at the expense of his wants. You wanted him to have more than this. And more importantly, you wanted to show him that you wanted more. 
So when the buzzer sounds off and the Canes skate away with another return to the Stanely Cup Playoffs, you can’t help but let go of the discontentment you have about being found out. So before you even know it, you find yourself moving towards the ice where Sebastian is wrapping up his post-game interview, ignoring the calls of Maddy asking where you’re going. 
And when you reach the board that separates you and your boyfriend, he doesn’t hesitate to skate over, collecting a puck from the equipment manager on the way. 
“Always nice to meet a fan,” he winks, offering his pre-game puck. 
You grin, pulling him forward by his jersey, “I appreciate it but I’ve gotta tell you that I’ve got a boyfriend.” 
His eyes melt at the sound of your public announcement and he catches your lips against his, “I love you so damn much.”
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dira333 · 17 hours
Text
Hurting together - Aizawa x Reader
mentions of Chronic pain, requested by @alienaiver I hope this is in any way what you've imagined.
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“Nervous?” Shouta asks after a full 120 seconds of your leg bouncing without stopping.
“Huh?! Oh, oh, I’m sorry!” You scramble to a halt, arm resting on your leg to keep it in place. “I didn’t even notice I was doing it.”
“Doesn’t mean you have to stop now. But if you wanna talk about it, I heard that helps.”
“Oh, uh, I don’t wanna … I don’t wanna annoy anyone,” you mutter, eyes flickering from left to right.
“Do you wanna hear my story then?” He asks, not because it’s something he likes sharing, but you’re cute and what’s the alternative? Staring at the wall until he gets called in.
“Oh, if you… if you don’t mind?”
He huffs out a breath. “Well, apparently it’s not healthy to break a bone every single week.”
“Oh!” Your eyes grow huge. “Every single week? Wait, is it the same bone.”
“No,” he snorts softly, “At least then I’d have a better story. I’m a pro Hero, I just happen to get into fights.”
“And what’s your Hero Name? Fragile Bone?”
It takes him a second to recognize the joke, snorting loudly when he does. You’re snappy, now that the anxiety fades.
“No, it’s uh… Eraser Head.” He waits a second for you to recognize him, the star-struckness to hit. But it doesn’t. Instead, you cock your head to the side and eye him thoroughly. 
“Interesting,” you say, “I remember an Interview you were forced to give a few years back. Uh, I think there was a streaker at the Sports Festival?”
He laughs. “Good Memory. Yeah, that was one of our students. He didn’t have his Quirk under Control back then.”
“And you’ve got a broken bone now? Or is this just a check-up?”
“Bloodwork.”
“Yikes,” you pull a face, “me too. It’s the worst.”
“It is,” he agrees, dares to ask before he can lose his courage again. “Want me to hold your hand through the process?”
And it’s smooth, smoother than he’s ever been able to - maybe the absence of his friends does benefit his ability to flirt - and he might even get his hopes up for a second there - until your face falls.
“That’s really tempting, you know, but I… uh… my hands are hurting. That’s why I’m here, you know, to figure out why they’re hurting like this. So hand-holding is kinda a no-go.”
“Oh, I understand,” the dejection must be audible in his voice because you reach out for him, though you don’t take hold.
“But if you want,” you offer, voice a little breathless, “you could… uh… put your hand on my shoulder? It might look weird, but-”
“I’ve seen weirder things,” he offers and your smile lights up the room.
-
“Oh, I didn’t know you were coming in together,” Doc Oc greets him and for a moment he is paralyzed, frozen between two different emotions. Surprise, because Doc OC’s obviously familiar with you and he’s got the worst memory when it comes to names. Embarrassment, because it’s usually not the best thing if a Doctor remembers you by name, let alone this one.
“Ah,” you smile, “We met in the waiting room. Bloodwork, you now. It’s easier if it’s done together.”
“That I can agree with. Now, who wants to go first?”
-x-
“Now, I believe you owe me something,” Recovery Girl announces one afternoon, a big smile cutting into her wrinkly face. “What’s her name?”
“Huh?” Shouta had been busy reading through this week's assignment, deciphering the texts. Denki’s Handwriting almost requires a PHD in decoding.
“Doc Oc and I have been friends for quite some time. One would call us even… very close… if you know what I mean. He said you brought in lovely company.”
“Oh, uh, yeah, I guess…” He can’t help but blush at her tone. Too much information.
“Well, are you going to ask her out? You cannot count this as your first date, surely? A fancy Dinner is a must.”
“A fancy Dinner is a must for whom?” Hizashi’s leaning around the door and Shouta groans. Of all people to overhear this.
“Shouta’s girlfriend.”
“Shouta has a girlfriend? Shouta, my man, why didn’t you tell me? Don’t you love me anymore? Your best friend?”
He crawls further into his sleeping bag, closing his eyes. Those assignments can wait, if he can fall in to a coma first, he-
-x-
“So?” Rumi leans against your Desk. “Did he call you?”
“Not yet,” you’re chewing on your lower lip, “But he’s probably busy.”
“Busy my ass,” she snorts angrily. “You’re a catch. If he doesn’t get a groove on you’re gone. He should know that.”
You level your friend - and boss - with a glare. “I’ve been single for a year.”
“Which he doesn’t know,” she sings. “But on another note, have you’ve gotten the results from your bloodwork? You know we only need that so we can get started on your hands-free Desktop.”
“Why do you sound more excited about this than I am?”
“Because you’re afraid of change and I am not. Just think, your hands will finally get to rest!”
“Yay,” you wave them around half-heartedly when your phone pings.
Rumi’s already grabbing it from your desk, always faster than you. “Oh, it’s your guy.” She hands it back. “Not looking.”
“Thank you for respecting my privacy,” you joke and open the short text only to gasp.
“He’s asking me out.”
“Great, so he’s not an idiot. Confirm.”
“No, no, he’s asking me out for a date tonight. You know how bad my legs have been today, I can’t show up with a cane.
“Why not?”
“Because,” you drag out, “the last time I did that there was no second date.”
“And you think he’s that shallow?”
“I just don’t want to jinx it.”
“Fine,” she huffs, crossing her arms. “Tell him you can’t tonight because you’re working late. Ask him if he’s able to reschedule for tomorrow or Friday.”
You hesitate, but do as you’re told.
“And now,” she grabs your bag as soon as you put your phone down, “you get your cute ass home and rest. I want you as fit as you can be tomorrow so you can enjoy that date.”
“But work-”
“Work is like my ex - it will always wait for you.”
-x-
“Fuck,” Shouta groans, head on his arms. The pain is strong today.
“You… uh… you good?” He hears a familiar voice from the door. Shit, he forgot about training with Hitoshi.
“Fantastic,” he grinds through his teeth though he does not dare to lift his head. Lunch was decent, but he doesn’t want to taste it again.
“Do you need Recovery Girl?”
“No, I’m going to be fine. Can you get me my painkillers from my bag? I would, but moving-”
“Sure, sure.” He can hear rustling and then a pill is dropped into his outstretched palm.
Slowly, carefully, he drags his arm back to pop it into his mouth, swallows it dry. He’s got loads of practice.
“Give me twenty minutes and I’ll be right as rain.”
“Uh, if you say so.”
-
He’s got a black eye.
He’s got a black eye and a date in about thirty minutes and the painkillers are making him particularly loopy today.
Hitoshi wouldn’t have been able to hit him in the face if his reaction time hadn’t been so slow. He’s lucky no bone is broken.
Something tells him that it we better to reschedule, but wouldn’t that make him look disinterested when he’s not?
-
“Mew.” 
Shouta turns to the sound, surprised to see a black cat looking up at him. There’s a hedge there, and he bends down to pet the animal. 
“You’re loud, huh?” He comments on the purring, taking a seat on the ground when his knees turn a little wobbly. He really is getting older. 
The cat disappears into the hedge and he holds out a hand, making little sounds to lure her back out.
Just as he can spot the green eyes blinking back at him, a banknote is dropped into his hand.
“Here,” a voice says, “It’s cold out.”
Shouta freezes, only to look up into your face.
“Uh,” he makes, suddenly envious of Kaminari when he cooks his brain. 
“I didn’t mean-” you say just as he exclaims loudly: “There’s a cat.”
“Where?” You ask, peering into the hedge. “I love cats.”
-x-
“This was nice,” you tell him after Dinner, the episode with the Cat now something you can laugh about. “Would you like to do it again sometimes?”
“Yes,” he nods slowly, “I’m sorry if I was a little loopy today. I took… uh, I forgot to take a nap.”
“Ah,” you smile, “You’re getting old too? If I don’t get my usual lunch nap I’m not so nice to be around.”
Shouta laughs. “Somehow I find that hard to believe. You’re very nice to be around.”
“You think so?” You ask, heart skipping a beat when he nods.
“How are your hands?” He looks down at them, “Can I hold them? Or do they still hurt?”
“If you don’t squeeze them I should be fine,” you say, praying that it’s the truth.
It is a little uncomfortable, if you were to tell the truth, but he’s gentle and your heart blooms at the implications.
If only you could put this moment in a jar, keep it for all the days where it’s hard to get up.
 -
“So?” Rumi leans over your desk, grinning wide. “Gimme the scoop.”
“We went out, it was amazing, I don’t know when I’m going to see him again.”
“That’s not the scoop, that’s a short summary. I want every detail. Also, what does it mean you don’t know when you-”
The ringtone of your phone cuts her off. You take a peak only to gasp.
“It’s him. He’s calling.”
“Well, pick up. I’ll come back as soon as you’re finished. And I want all the details.”
-
It’s hard to find time for another date.
Shouta works two fulltime jobs and you’re overwhelmed with just one.
But he calls or texts every day, sending you pics of cats whenever he’s out on patrol.
It’s nice, but it could be nicer.
When he asks what you’re doing and you’re in bed, pain holding you down, you cannot tell him the truth. Because he doesn’t know the truth. And telling him over the phone seems insensitive.
Sometimes he sounds pretty loopy when he calls and you wonder if he’s getting enough sleep. But when you ask him about it he evades the question so masterfully, that you only remember it hours after the call.
“I think I have to come clean,” you tell Rumi one day during lunch, your hands in thick compression gloves to combat the pain. “This season is hitting me hard and I cannot postpone our next date again just because I cannot go anywhere without a cane.”
“I’m sure it’s going to go well. From what you’ve told me about him he seems very nice.”
“Yeah,” you sigh,”so nice I don’t want to lose him.”
-x-
Of all the moments for a migraine to hit, this has to be the worst. 
Okay, maybe the second worst, because he’s not currently fighting someone.
But he’s been pressing his temple against the fridge doors of this Konbini for half an hour now, clearly unsettling the other shoppers, and his painkillers are far, far away in his car’s glove compartment.
Every time he thinks he’s got it now, turning away from the coldness has his lunch rise up in his throat.
“Shouta?” A familiar voice asks and the ice seeps into his veins. It’s you.
“No, I’m not Shouta. You must mistake me for someone else.”
“You’re wearing a nametag. Backward, but you’re wearing it.”
He sighs. “Can you just pretend you’re not seeing me?”
“I could, but why?”
“This is embarrassing.”
“I mistook you for a homeless man, I think we’ve already reached top embarrassment.”
“I’m having a Migraine.”
“See,” he can hear the encouragement in your voice, knows exactly how your mouth curls at the words even if he cannot see it. “That’s very low on the embarrassment list. Do you need a painkiller?”
“Yeah, but they’re in my car.”
“What are you using.”
“I doubt you have that. You can only get it via prescription.”
Shouta names it, hears you chuckle.
“Oh, you bet I got that. One pill is enough, right?”
“Right.” He can hear rustling before a pill is pressed into his hands. He swallows it dry. 
“It will take me a minute to come to my senses.”
“No worry at all. I can stay here with you.”
“You don’t have to.”
“Oh, but I want to. By the way… the Bloodwork… was that about your Migraine?”
“Yeah,” he swallows around the lump in his throat. “And other stuff.”
“Mhm.” Some more rustling.
“How did you get those pills by the way? You don’t work in a pharmacy, right?”
“Oh, no, I don’t deal drugs if that’s what you’re asking.” You laugh, but it tapes off awkwardly. “I… I suffer from chronic pain.”
“I’m sorry.”
You laugh again, but you don’t sound amused. “Yeah, me too.”
Silence settles between them. Slowly, the pain in his head eases into something manageable and he peels himself away from the cool glass to look at you.
You’re staring at the ground, a cane in your hands. 
“I’m going to be pretty loopy for the rest of the day,” he tells you, lump in his throat, “But do you wanna grab a coffee after this?”
The surprise in your eyes tells you what he’d already assumed. You’re not used to people accepting your condition as something that just is. 
“Might ask you some questions as soon as my head works properly again,” he adds like a threat, “but for now I’d just like to look at you. You’re really pretty.”
“You’re really loopy,” you giggle.
“Mhm, it’s going to get even worse, sugardrop.” His hand finds your elbow, careful to avoid your hands and you knock your head lightly against his shoulder.
You’re probably a weird-looking couple to the outside world, but he’s never cared much about that anyway.
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caribbean1989 · 3 days
Text
Stage Fright - a Baby Lasagna fanfiction
Who: Marko Purisic / Baby Lasagna Request: maybe smt where you work for esc and marko has a panic attack before going on the stage and your there for him calming him down and stuff. just angsty with lots of comfort. Requested by: anonymous. Word count: 2010 Warnings: contains descriptions of panic attack / anxiety / stage fright. Lots of angst, but also some comfort 😇
A/N: I usually write footballer imagines and fandom whump, so writing something like this is quite new to me. Hope you'll like it, let me know what you think of it 😇 If you want me to write more like this, you can always make a request through my Asks 😉
This story can also be found on my AO3 account, here.
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At your job working backstage at concerts and events, you were one of the people making sure everything went smoothly backstage, and that the performers had all they needed. This month you would be working at the Eurovision Song Contest. 
Today was the biggest day of all: the final.  You felt confident. Everything had been rehearsed endlessly, the semi-finals had already gone well, and you had built up a good relationship with most of the performers and their entourages. 
It was a nice group of artists this year, but one still was your personal favourite: Baby Lasagna. At first you were drawn to the Croatian candidate because of the rather unusual name, but you quickly learned he went by Marko off-stage, and was somewhat different from the other participants. He was a flamboyant personality on-stage, which proved to be the complete opposite of how his personality was off-stage. 
You didn’t need long to see Marko was actually rather shy, could be very insecure, and was humble and polite. There was a cheeky side to him as well once you got to know him better. You liked that about him, and, without actively trying to, you already formed a rather close friendship with him in only this short time of working together. 
That was why you immediately knew something was wrong when you found Marko sitting alone on the day of the final, huddled away from everything and everyone.  He sat amongst crates of sound equipment, on the floor, in a dark corner of the backstage maze, hugging his knees. His hands were clamped so tightly around his legs that his fingers had turned white, and he trembled like a leaf in the wind.  Marko had chosen a spot far from the foot traffic from and to the stage, hidden even from his own entourage, and it was a small miracle that you stumbled upon him like you had. 
"Marko?" You lowered yourself onto your haunches in front of him, but mindful to keep enough distance between yourselves so not to frighten him or make him feel more uncomfortable.
He looked disheveled, only vaguely aware of his surroundings, and surely not in control of his emotions.  In this moment he was not the extroverted Baby Lasagna, he was introverted Marko. The eccentric costume he wore on stage was replaced by regular jeans and a black hoodie. The make-up wasn’t applied yet, which might be a good thing, because you saw the tears on his face. The haunted look in his eyes scared you, worrying you even more about his well-being. 
Suddenly your mind went to a line from the song he was performing with here this week. 
My anxiety attacks.
Whilst Rim Tim Tagi Dim had people dancing all over the world, you couldn’t help but notice its darker meaning, too. And it clicked into place for you now. That line about anxiety wasn’t just a line. It actually held truth for Marko, and the proof of that was right in front of your eyes with him having a serious panic attack. 
"Marko?" You repeated softly.  His gaze flickered to you, but he didn’t acknowledge your presence in any other way.  "I need you to talk to me," you nudged carefully.  Marko swallowed hard. He made every effort to get himself to speak, but couldn’t. The words he meant to say got involuntarily silenced on their way to his mouth, and, finally, he just sadly shook his head. Fresh tears fell as he rested his forehead on his knees, shrinking even more into himself. 
Your heart broke for him. It was hard to believe you only met him a week and a half ago, with how much you already cared for him. 
Marko shivered in his hoodie. His breaths became even more rapid and shallow, accompanied by the occasional wheeze or whimper. He was losing more and more control over himself with every heartbeat of his racing pulse. Where first maybe only his hands had shook, there now wasn’t a muscle in his body that wasn’t shaking. He raised his head and looked up at you again, this time really seeing you. 
Marko’s lower lip trembled, and it took effort, but finally he got some words out. "Help me…" "I’m trying," you answered helplessly. You wanted nothing more than to help him, take him out of this panic attack, but you really had no idea where to begin. "Do you need me to bring someone from your team over?" "No!" Marko nearly jumped a foot into the air at the mere idea of that. "They don’t need to see me like this. I’m a mess, I…" "Calm down, calm down," you tried to ease. "We can do this. You and I, we can get you through this."
Having suffered from panic attacks yourself, you suddenly remembered what your sister used to do for you to get you to calm down. "Marko." You got his attention. "I want to try something to help you calm down. Are you okay with me touching you?" He still was in the height of his panic attack, with fear wild in his eyes, but he still nodded his head. He wasn’t sure what you had in mind, but he trusted you.
You scooted closer to him, fully sitting down on the floor by his side. Marko trembled heavier than ever and he was truly hyperventilating now. Tears sparkled in his eyes, but he gave in to you. He wanted for you to offer comfort and take him out of this anxiety. 
"Close your eyes," you said softly.  Marko hesitated for just a second, but slowly closed his eyes. He didn’t know you for that long, yet you felt secure and safe to him. "Whenever you’re no longer comfortable with anything I’m doing, you need to tell me," you insisted, "and I’ll stop immediately." Marko gave you a strained nod, but he surrendered to you. 
You moved slowly, making sure not to make any unexpected movements which would cause Marko any more fright.  You placed one of your hands flat on his chest. Only now you realised how heavy this panic attack actually was for him. His chest heaved and trembled under your hand, and now that you were closer to him, you heard the whimpers that were hidden in the wheezes of his breathing.  With your other hand you picked up his wrist, gently pressing two fingers against the pulse point. As you had expected, his heart was racing. 
"I need you to focus on my hand on your chest." You kept your voice as calm and serene as possible. Marko dipped his head once, eyes still firmly pressed shut.  "Whenever I press into your chest, I need you to breathe in through your nose, and try and press my hand away with your chest," you instructed, "when I release the pressure, you exhale slowly through your mouth." Marko wanted to speak, show you he had understood, but he found his words once again stolen from him by the panic attack. Instead, he dipped his head once again, but it was all the confirmation you needed. 
You slowly and gently pressed the palm of your hand a little firmer into his chest.  Marko took a shaky breath. He did his best to get his lungs to fill properly and get his chest to give counter-pressure against your hand, but couldn’t quite manage.  "It’s alright," you eased him, "take your time. Just focus on the rhythm of the pressure of my hand and try to breathe with that." You felt how Marko was really trying to, but also how he wasn’t succeeding yet. His inhales were broken by shudders, and his exhales disrupted by sudden and involuntary gulps.  "That’s it," you encouraged anyway, "easy does it."
Your hand never left his chest as you gently applied pressure and released it, with Marko doing his utmost best to get his breathing to fall in sync with it. You spoke soft encouragements, yet the silent moments in between were filled with Marko’s quiet whimpers.  It didn’t matter to you how long it would take, you would help Marko through this. 
---
Eventually, you sat with Marko like that for well over 30 minutes. There was no reason to rush anything. Soundchecks for the grand finale of tonight wouldn’t be starting for another few hours, so you gave him all the time he needed to pull himself out of this panic attack.
Marko’s pulse had returned to a regular, calm rhythm, as had his breathing. His trembling had subsided, but he sat beside you looking worn out from everything he had just gone through. 
You gently let your hand fall away from Marko’s chest for the first time again. You kept a close eye on him, but he was able to keep his breaths calm by himself now. "Open your eyes," you said softly. Marko slowly did so. Even though the area where you sat was dimly lit, he still squinted at the light. He ran slightly trembling fingers through his silvery hair, before he finally looked up at you sitting next to him. 
"I’m sorry about that." Marko sounded tired. "No need to apologise." You shook your head. "May I ask what happened?" "This happened." Marko chuckled wryly, motioning his hands to the area around you. "I’ve never performed at an event of this magnitude before. And… well, my stage fright took the better of me, I guess. It does that sometimes."
The airiness with which he spoke of his stage fright was pitiful, almost like it was the most common thing in the world for him. "But it doesn’t often get this bad, I reckon," you said sympathetically.  "No." Marko sighed heavily, running his fingers through his hair once more. "It doesn’t usually lead to a full-blown panic attack, and certainly not like this one, but, apparently, big stages lead to big anxiety." A dark chuckle followed. "That’s not even remotely funny," you scoffed. Marko gave a one-shouldered shrug. "I’m used to it by now."
He shifted his body, grunting softly as he stretched his cramped legs out in front of him. He leaned his head back against one of the crates behind him and glanced up at the ceiling for a moment. 
"But what you did really helped me." He spoke after a few seconds of silence. "I’m not quite sure I would have gotten through this one on my own, so I’m really grateful." You shrugged. "I’ve got a bit of experience with panic attacks as well, I’m afraid. So I know how bad they can get."
Marko’s gaze slowly shifted back to you. "Yourself or helping someone deal with it?" "Myself, unfortunately." You sat back into a more comfortable position, too. "Some events in life leave more scars than you can imagine," you added darkly.  "I’m sorry." Marko shortly rested a hand on your arm in support.  "What I just did with you, my sister used to do that for me whenever my anxiety flared up," you explained, "it always helped me through it, so…" You let your voice trail off.  "Well, tell her it’s a good technique." Marko winked lazily. "And I’m glad you’re the one who found me just now. Thank you." The sincere thankfulness was in his voice and in every fibre of his being. 
The two of you talked for a while longer, before Marko slowly hoisted himself back onto his feet. He looked steady again, ready to go, and a glimpse of the extroverted Baby Lasagna shone through the cracks again. 
"Will you be alright?" You stood back up, too.  "Yes." Marko nodded confidently. "I know it sounds strange, especially after what you’ve seen just now, but it feels like I needed to get this out of my system in order to be ready for tonight." You chuckled, glad to see the sparkle of joy back in his eyes, instead of the sparkle of tears and panic. "Come see me if anything threatens to overwhelm you again." Marko nodded gratefully. "I sure will."
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floofyroro · 2 days
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With my ✨golden birthday✨ approaching, I think I’ll finally post part 1 of my Crosshair/fem!reader fic this week. 👀
I’m itching for feedback so I think this will be good motivation to polish and edit this week so that it’s ready to be uploaded by Sunday evening, CST.
Here’s a sneakpeek in the meantime.
Consider it a small taste of what’s to come. 🤫
The Herbalist
Summary: A year after rescuing Omega from Tantiss, Crosshair is still adjusting to life on Pabu. You're the island herbalist who has just returned from a year-long pilgrimage on Naboo. As you familiarize yourself with the island newcomers, you grow close with Omega, who becomes your little helper in the gardens. Somehow, you continue crossing paths with her intimidating brother and you find that you're drawn to his elusiveness. (Slight AU because Tech is alive.)
His name is called amidst the clamor of the crowd and Crosshair squints as he scans his surroundings, only to find Omega waving from a corner stall. The humidity clings to Crosshair as he parts through a throng of people and he’s lost track of how many times he has cursed the climate. The familiar training blacks he’s worn for most his life were recently confiscated by Omega, in the name of ‘relaxation.’ 
You need a fresh start. I think most things hold memories, whether good and bad, she had argued.
After that, their unconventional squad were given the island’s finest garments made of kelpcotton and linenfiber, courtesy of Shep. The boys knew it was all Omega’s doing as it has her fingerprints all over it. Crosshair shoves thoughts of his beloved training blacks aside when he’s met with Omega’s eager energy as she stands next to another stall.
She’s practically beaming as she holds a jar up to him. It’s seemingly filled with an organic mixture of sorts, the contents rolling to one side due to Omega’s tilted grasp on it. She then pops the lid open and a waft of earthy aroma hits Crosshair’s senses immediately. 
“Do you recognize it?”
Before Crosshair can even respond to Omega’s prompt, his brother interjects.
“Our evening tea!” Tech leans in closer to sniff. “We made our last brew just last night. Excellent thinking, we’re in need of a restock.” He winks at her then, and Omega nods in resolve, snapping the lid shut. 
She then motions behind the stall, bringing attention to you. 
That overpowering aroma of tea hits Crosshair's senses once more. You emit an air of quiet confidence as you stand surrounded by what he surmises is your livelihood; hanging foliage, dry and fresh alike strung together, creating a cascading effect around your stall. Vitality is the word that resounds in his mind, perhaps due to the nature of the items you’re offering to sell. 
And maybe due to the healthy glow of your skin.
Omega tugs at his sleeve, drawing his attention from you. 
“You’ve been sleeping better at night, right?” 
He pauses to consider. It’s been evident that the past two weeks have garnered the most restorative rest Crosshair is able to experience. Nightmares still plague him most nights, but considering his sleep over the past three years, the difference is night and day. He ignored Wrecker’s comment the other evening that he no longer resembles a human skeleton and that his skin has lost that dull, transparent sheen to it. 
One could also blame that on the relentless sun, Crosshair had countered. 
Or on the meditation! Omega had chirruped.
So, Crosshair waits for Omega to continue because surely she has some sort of agenda to share. 
“Well, that’s thanks to the herbalist,” Omega finally says, pointing to you. “She’s been showing me how to take care of the island’s garden plots and greenhouses.” 
A connection is made then; when Omega wants a break from training, whether that be piloting with Tech or hand-to-hand with Hunter, she’ll disappear from the household until it’s time to commune for dinner. She almost always returns with tousled hair and a thin layer of dirt coating her skin. Your name is mentioned in passing during their evening meals but Crosshair has never thought twice about you. Now he’s putting face to name and realizing that she’s been assisting you all along.
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nanaminokanojo · 2 days
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ACCIDENTALLY IN LOVE | part 18
-meet cute? a cheesy musical number? forget it! love makes itself known to you through a minor car accident, a broken arm, and a treacherously charming temporary chauffeur
CHARACTERS: sukuna x you/reader | jjk characters
GENRE: full-length smau + prose | bad boy x good girl | college au | a lot of firsts | aged-up characters | strangers to lovers | smut | fluff | angst | ooc depictions - soft sukuna ftw
TW/CW: strong/mature language | adult content so mdni on some parts | mentions of alcohol and/or smoking | mentions of injury, promiscuity and bullying | pet names because they're cute with 2D men | toxic behavior | will add more if something arises
MASTERLIST | CHAPTER INDEX
<<prev part 18 next>>
A/N: This contains prose and panels in between. Same for Part 19. This part is just too long to put on screenshots.
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If looks could kill, Haibara Yu will be on the kitchen floor in a pool of his own blood with the way Sukuna was looking at him like he was going to pop a vein on his forehead. It was almost comical since he was holding onto a bottle of strawberry milk and looked like he was about to squeeze it broken with how tight his fists were.
“Man, she seems different from the stories is all I'm saying.”
Sukuna eyed him enquiringly, a menacing hint to it as he breathed out slowly. As far as he was concerned, he never heard any bad rumor about you. “What stories?” He noted the defensive note in his tone, his protective side coming out.
“You heard me.” Yu lifted his shoulders slightly to express uncertainty. “She gets invited to all the parties but she declines all of them and everyone thinks she’s a two-faced snob. And I also heard someone claiming that she said she doesn't mix with commoners.”
It explained why Sukuna has never seen you in any of the parties he has been in. He only knew you from school, and if he did see you at any party, he wouldn’t have passed up the opportunity to approach you at least once. He knew himself, and he appreciated beauty. But maybe that was for the better because then, you probably wouldn’t have liked to be in the same breathing space as him with the way he acts in those gatherings.
His facial muscles suddenly rearranged into a scowl, causing the other male to back away. “Who said that?” he hissed. He couldn’t accept what he was hearing. At the same time, he doesn’t understand where the irritation was coming from. He just can’t take it hearing the slander being thrown at you. You didn’t deserve it at all.
“Do those people even realize how busy she is?”
“Dude, I just heard that.”
“I know, but she’s the real deal. Don’t go listening to what those pricks at school are saying. She’s the kindest person I’ve ever known. She’s so nice to me. Me!”
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“Figures,” Yu said slowly, smirking.
“Go talk to her. Get to know her. You’ll get the proof you want,” Sukuna challenged but Yu shook his head. “If she’s being nice to evil little Ryomen, then that’s proof enough.”
"You wanna die?"
"Man, I believe you! Geez!"
Sukuna still shot Yu a dirty look as he walked back to the living room, unable to wrap his head around the fact that there were actually people who disliked you. It made him sick.
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TAG LIST: @catobsessedlady @kyo-kyo1 @junehasnotbeenfound @lavender-hvze @guacam011y @eyered @hellomeow12 @its-princessmara @light-yagami-l @domainofmarie @mythoscalliope @noble-17 @pheonix-eclipses @weebbuscuit @sukunasbudussy @lu-c1na @vinnieswife @the-haitani-baton @iaminyourfloors @needtoloveoutloud @r-ryuko09 @somestardeww @swirlingcurses @stayyyyyyyyyyyy21 @bronze-metal @iluv-ace
© ORIGINAL WORK BY nanaminokanojo. CHARACTERS ARE INSPIRED BY GEGE AKUTAMI’S “JUJUTSU KAISEN”. [20240520]
PHOTOS/IMAGES/GIF/FANART/ANY MEDIA CREDITS GO TO THE RESPECTIVE OWNERS.
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Note
Hey darling! Can I request the Damon Salvatore x Fem!Reader? So maybe where the reader is the reincarnation or rebirth of Damon's old love, and Damon meets the reader's reincarnation like Elena in season 3, episode 22?
I love this idea so much!!
I spent hours writing this last night only for it not to save, so here is another attempt.
Plot: Damon thought his first love was dead and buried, so imagine his surprise when someone turns up in Beacon Hills wearing her exact face
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Katherine Peirce loved her boys - more importantly she loved how she had them wrapped around her little finger. Which meant of course, she could get whatever she wanted.
The three of them were sat outside in the gardens, enjoying the sunshine in the summer weather. Kathrine, Damon and Stefan all laughing amongst themselves like old friends.
"Your friend is coming today is she not?" Stefan asked.
Kathrine nodded, looking towards the road as if expecting a carriage to pull up at any minute.
"We're grateful you could offer us both shelter," she replied simply.
"Well if she's anything like you, how could we refuse?" Damon asked, a grin forming on his face.
Kathrine smiled up at him "She's exactly like me,"
This was a lie. Although Kathrine would never admit it, she often mimicked her friend's personality to get people to like her. Y/N was softer than Kathrine was, her heart not frozen from the years of pain they had both endured.
"What did you say her name was again?" Stefan asked.
"Y/N," Kathrine responded, "And it looks like she's here,"
A black carriage was pulling up, and a footman appeared to open the door. Kathrine was quick to race towards her friend, whilst the brothers hung back to watch the scene play out.
They watched as Y/N stepped out of the carriage, adorned in a soft green dress. She embraced her friend, a wide smile on her face as she chatted excitedly. Katherine drew her to where the Salvatore brothers stood, and Y/N shrunk slightly, stepping behind Katherine ever so slightly.
"Salvatore's, this is Y/N L/N, you'll forgive her if she's a little shy," Katherine smiled down at her friend.
Damon was the first to respond, taking her hand and pulling it up to his lips. "Damon Salvatore," he said, pressing a quick kiss to her hand.
Y/N curtseyed in response "A pleasure to meet you Mr Salvatore,"
Stefan was next, offering her a small bow "Stefan Salvatore, we hope you enjoy your stay here,"
Y/N smiled, looking between the two bothers "Thank you for having me, Kathrine tells me you have been most generous hosts,"
Kathrine clicked her tongue "Forgive me Salvatore's, but I believe I will be showing her around her new home,"
The brothers gave a small wave towards the girl in green, who gave a shy smile in response.
"What do you think?" Stefan asked his brother. Damon eyed the retreating figures of the two girls with curiosity.
"Well Kathrine says she's like her, but I don't think I've ever met someone so different,"
Neither Stefan nor Damon saw much of Y/N from that moment on, she would never be teasing them the way Katherine did, nor would she seek them out. They'd catch glimpses of her reading, or writing beneath one of the trees in the garden occasionally, but neither of them even thought of saying something.
They were too captivated by Katherine.
But then came the day of the Founder's ball. Damon was in a foul mood, since Katherine had decided to attend the ball with Stefan, and found himself wandering he halls of his own home, unable to escape the nagging feeling in his chest.
So he went to where he always went too when his thoughts became too much; the library.
It was a large place, with books lining the walls like leaves on the trees. But it was cosy also, with three large chairs huddled round the grand fireplace.
To his surprise however, there was already somebody there.
"Miss Y/N," he remarked, a surprised frown on his face "I thought you'd be at the party,"
It was true, as she was adorned in a beautiful purple dress, that looked to be one of Katherine's. Her hair was done in an elegant updo, but still she sat on the chair, a heavy book in her lap.
She blinked up at him, her fingers fiddling with the pages.
"I've never been one for crowds, that was always more of Katherine's thing," she said softly.
Katherine. The name felt bitter on Damon's tongue. He wondered though, if Y/N was like Katherine in other ways, in ways that had to be kept a secret from the rest of the family.
"Mind if I join you?" Damon asked, and Y/N shook her head.
"Not at all,"
There was a brief silence between them as Damon stared at the girl. She paid him little attention, her eyes darting across the pages of the book as if feasting off the words it gave her.
"You like to read," he observed, and Y/N jumped, forgetting he was there.
"I like to write," she corrected "But reading is the next best thing if I have nothing to write in,"
There was another silence, and Damon debated saying something else, but she didn't seem like the type to want to talk much, and he felt he should be careful where he tread. But to his surprise it was her who started the next conversation.
"What brings you out of the party?" Y/N asked, closing her book and setting it to the side.
Damon sighed, he couldn't tell her the real reason, for Katherine was her friend and he was not. But similarly he couldn't think of a lie, something about her made him feel guilty for even thinking about lying to her.
Y/N grimaced slightly, taking pity on the fallen expression of the man. "I see she chose your heart to break," she said softly.
"What?" Damon asked, taken by surprise.
Y/N sighed "You think you're the first two men that Katherine has set against each other? I love her dearly, but she does like her games,"
Damon shrugged "The price I pay for falling for the act in the first place,"
"If I may," Y/N said cautiously "If you want to win her affection's you needn't show it to her so much. Katherine likes to chase,"
Damon's eyes flickered slightly 2What are you suggesting?" he asked.
"Take someone else to the next founders ball," Y/N suggested, picking up another book from the table. "You're a handsome man Mr Salvatore I'm sure you'll have little trouble finding somebody who takes an interest,"
Damon sat back a little, before glancing at the time. The founders ball still had a couple of hours before it was over.
"Why wait?" he asked, a mischievous smile on his face. "I could get a date right now,"
"That's the spirit," Y/N said, not looking up from her book.
"So Y/N, would you do me the honour of attending the founders ball with me?"
Y/N's mouth dropped open as she looked up at Damon, who was now standing with his arm outstretched towards ger.
"I - I can't!" she said with wide eyes "I'm terrible with crowds, and I don't know anybody, and god forbid they try and talk with me-"
Damon cocked his head slightly as she spoke, sensing the panic in her voice.
"I'll stay with you, and if anyone speaks to us, I will be the one to answer, if that is what you wish. So what do you say - one dance?"
Y/N hesitated, before slowing accepting his hand and letting him pull her up. "Don't make me regret this Mr Salvatore," she warned.
He laughed, guiding her hand to he crook of his arm. "Please call me Damon,"
Y/N sighed, trying desperately to swallow the nerves about walking into a room full of people she didn't know.
In the hall, Katherine and Stefan were dancing gracefully, successfully ignoring the stares of the room.
"I do hope your brother isn't too offended by my choice of Salvatore," Katherine mused, earning a chuckle from Stefan.
"I do believe he'll get over it - or he already has,"
"What?" asked Katherine, but Stefan just nodded towards the other side of the room, where Damon had just entered, Y/N on his arm.
Katherine's eyes narrowed as Damon shot a smirk her way, before leaning down to whisper in Y/N's ear.
"Just follow my lead, you'll be fine,"
Y/N tried not to shiver as his breath hit her ear, and allowed herself to be led across the dancefloor.
"I never thought you'd be the dancing type," she admitted, looking up into his blue eyes.
"And why is that?" Damon asked a slight smirk playing on his face.
"I don't know," Y/N bit her lip slightly to stop herself from smiling "You seemed much too arrogant to bore yourself with something as frivolous as a party,"
Damon's eyebrows raised as he realised her teasing tone "I never thought you'd be so cheeky, I thought that was something that belonged to Katherine,"
Y/N shook her head slightly, a laugh falling from her lips "Katherine was always so serious, even when we were children. I suppose you Salvatore's have shown her a thing or two,"
Children, they knew each other when they were children, so Y/N must at least know what Katherine was, if she wasn't one herself.
"She's staring at us," Damon commented, realising that Katherine had stopped dancing with his brother, and was shooting curious looks to the other pair.
"Told you," Y/N shrugged, her voice lowering to a whisper "Nobody Knows Katherine like I do - perhaps now would be a good time to talk to her?"
Damon hesitated, he knew that part of him wanted to but the other part -
"We're having far too much fun dancing, don't you think?"
And it was true, Damon did enjoy Y/N's company. With her shyness beginning to ease, he enjoyed the small jests she'd make at him, and thoughts of Katherine began fading away.
The pair danced, and chatted until the early hours of the morning when the founders ball finally came to an end, and the last of the guests were leaving.
Y/N let out a yawn, and Damon caught her as she stumbled slightly.
"I think it's time I retire," she said sleepily "It's been a pleasure dancing with you Mr Salv - Damon,"
Damon brought her hand up to his lips, pressing a firm kiss on the back of it. "The pleasure was all mine, goodnight Y/N,"
He watched as she left, a slight smile playing on his lips.
"Careful, she'll fall in love with you," came a sly voice to the right of him. He didn't need to look to know it was Katherine. "her heart is far too soft to survive a Salvatore brother,"
"You were wrong before, she is nothing like you," Damon commented "Enjoy my brother,"
And with that he walked off, feeling triumphant that he had been able resist the urge to fall right back into Katherine's arms, but he couldn't shake the Y/N from his mind either.
The next morning, Damon found himself outside the door of Y/N's bedroom, his hand ready to knock when she opened to door herself.
She jumped slightly "Oh - Damon?" she asked her eyes wide.
His lips parted in shock slightly, the encounter catching him off guard and all the rehearsed words in his head disappearing.
"Are you alright, you look like you've seen a ghost?" she asked, frowning slightly.
Damon cleared his throat, presenting a small brown parcel with his other hand.
"A thankyou gift, for coming with me to the dance last night," he said.
Y/N blinked slightly, gingerly taking the package from his hands, and carefully untying the string.
"You didn't have to -" she began, before trailing off as she revealed the leather bound notebook he had bought for her.
"You mentioned you loved writing, I figured this would help you out a bit," he said slightly nervously "Do you like it?"
Y/N looked up at him, her eyes wide and shining with unshed tears. "Thankyou so much Damon, this - it means the world," she said sincerely, clutching the book to her chest as if it may run away.
Damon's worried expression broke into a grin. Another difference between Y/N and Katherine, Y/N was sincere, was genuine.
He didn't even see Katherine glaring at the two from behind the pillar.
Katherine watched with resentment over the next couple of weeks, watching as Damon started pining after Y/N instead of her. Of course, anyone else she would have gotten rid of immediately, but Y/N was her friend, and she didn't have many of those.
Even Stefan noticed her change in behaviour towards the other girl, but decided it was not in his best interest to question it.
But Damon was oblivious, too wrapped up in wanting the attention of the shy girl he had met, yet seemingly unable to show his affections towards her.
Y/N carried on with her life, desperately trying to ignore the flutters in her stomach whenever the older brother entered the room, concealing her blushing cheeks with her hair whenever he spoke. Nobody noticed, besides Katherine, as the girl often hid herself behind her hair when people spoke to her, but not quite in the same way.
"I see you fell in love with him too," Katherine commented, walking in unannounced to her friends bedroom.
Y/N sighed nervously, she knew that Katherine got whatever she wanted, and mostly she allowed it which is why the pair were such good friends.
Katherine stepped closer. "What do you think he'll think of you when you tell him what you are?" she asked, eyebrows raised.
Y/N shook her head "I don't need to tell him," she said hoarsely, "I'm not like you Katherine,"
Katherine chuckled "You may not be a vampire, but you can't go around pretending to be human,"
Y/N glared at her friend through the reflection of the mirror, but didn't say anything to protest and Katherine smiled.
"I'm just saving you the pain of losing him," she said, before turning on her heal and waltzing out the door, no doubt to find the Salvatore brother herself.
Y/N sighed, her had laying on the book that Damon had gotten her, piled on top of all the other books she had written in over the years. Even if she didn't like it, Katherine was correct. Though her curse wasn't quite as visible as the older girl's, it was a curse nevertheless, and all curses had consequences.
"What did she mean?"
Y/N froze, the sound of the man's voice like ice in her heart. She spun round and came face to face with Damon, who was standing in front of the door he had just closed.
He took a step closer, his eyes searching her stricken and panicked face. Another way she was different to Katherine, she wore her heard and emotions on her sleeve, there was no having to interpret or guess with her, she was an open book whether she liked it or not.
"You don't have to be scared, I didn't tell Katherine's secret and I won't tell yours," he reassured her, stepping closer to take her hand.
"I'm not a vampire," Y/N said defiantly.
Damon shook his head "You don't have to lie to me," he promised, his blue eyes searching her nervous ones.
"I'm not!" she stressed, before breaking away from Damon's grasp and sitting on the bed "It's more complicated than that,"
Damon sank to his knees before her, looking up at her with wide and trusting eyes "Then let me help you,"
"I'm cursed," Y/N said quietly after a beat. "They call it the Phoenix curse. Every time I die, I get reborn from my ashes as my old body burns, forgetting everything from my previous life."
Damon frowned "But if you forget everything, how do you know you've died before?"
Y/N smiled slightly, raising her hand to brush the hair from his eyes. "I didn't at first. But I am always reborn at the age of sixteen, and people tend to notice when you're almost an adult and have no memories to show it. Katherine found me, and she had this made for me,"
Y/N drew out a necklace that was tucked away in her bodice. It was golden, and dainty, with a red gemstone in the middle of it.
"It allows me to keep the memories even after I have been reborn,"
Damon let out a breath he didn't even know he was holding.
"Well that's certainly a raw deal on your behalf, at least Vampires get the added speed and strength,"
Y/N laughed, shaking her head slightly as she stood up.
"The books in your father's library say that I have wings, and that I can fly, but that remains a mystery to me, and I am immune to compulsion" she said with a smile.
Damon hesitated, a question on the tip of his tongue but unsure whether or not to ask it.
"Well it seems to me, that as long as I don't let anyone kill you, there doesn't seem to be much of a curse," he commented with a quick smile.
Y/N raised her eyebrows "Surely it is Katherine you would want to be around, speaking of which, how are you and her?" she asked
Damon shrugged "I found someone else that seemed far more appealing,"
Y/N turned to face him, her breath catching in her throat slightly as she realised just how close they actually were.
"Who?" she asked, unable to hide her blushing cheeks with her hair this time.
"You,"
Y/N's eyes widened, her brows drawing up slightly as she looked at him. Her lips parted as if wanting to say something, but no words came out, her heart pounding against her chest, the tightness of her corset making it difficult to breathe.
"Damon - Katherine," was all she could let out, but he shook his head.
"I don't want her, not since I met you. I no longer want to be chasing after a game, but I would chase after you for the rest of my life if that is what it took. I would tell a hundred jokes just to hear you laugh, and run a thousand miles to catch up to you,"
Y/N let him grab her hands in his own, but tugged away slightly "Damon you don't understand, Katherine wants you. And Katherine always gets what she wants,"
But Damon didn't relent "But I don't want Katherine, I want you," he said, the desperation leaking into his voice "But if you truly do not want me, then that is fine, but I need to hear you say it. I need to hear your say you do not want me if I am to go,"
Y/N shook her head, her gaze downwards "I can not lie to you Damon," she said quietly "I can not say I do not want you, when you are all I want,"
Damon breathed a sigh of relief, a slight laugh falling from his lips as he embraced her in a tight hug, pulling away only to cup her face in his hands, his blue eyes memorising every detail of it as if would disappear if he looked away.
"Meet me outside, near the village. You go out of the left gate at the gardens then follow the road until you meet the village square, I'll meet you there - I've got a surprise for you," he said, the smile never leaving his face.
"I will try, but I'm terrible with directions," Y/N teased "You may have to find me if I get lost."
Damon kissed her cheek, tucking her stray hair behind her ear "I will always find you," he promised.
Behind the door, Katherine watched the two lovers, a dark expression on her face. As much as she adored her, Y/N would have to go.
So as Damon waited at the village square, and the minutes ticked by, it occurred to him only too late that something terrible had happened to his new love.
That Y/N had disappeared without a trace.
2009
Y/N sighed with a heavy heart, as she lugged her suitcase behind her. She was grateful to have a suitcase, many of the children she was with in the foster home before had their stuff in plastic bin bags as they moved from house to house.
But Y/N had been adopted.
She found it odd that somebody wanted to adopt her, especially since she was three weeks away from turning eighteen, but it meant she no longer had to fend for herself once she aged out of the system, so she had to be grateful.
Rudy Hopkins
Y/N hadn't even met him, yet here he was willing to adopt the strange girl without a second thought.
That's if Y/N could find the damn house.
Mystic falls was a mystery to her, especially since she had never been there before - or so she thought.
"Y/N?" came a voice.
She spun round, and came face to face with a man she could only describe as beautiful. His eyes were wide, and blue, looking at her with a mixture of shock and disbelief.
"Er, I'm sorry do I know you?" she asked with a frown, stepping backwards nervously as the man stepped closer to her.
He froze, his eyes glinting downwards to her neck, where not one bit of jewellery rested.
"Sorry, I thought you were someone I knew - Damon Salvatore," he introduced himself, but his blue eyes were still piercing her own, scanning her as if she were an odd puzzle piece he couldn't quite place.
"Y/N L/N," she responded, a slight frown evident on her face "Are you alright, you look like you've seen a ghost,"
Damon hesitated, her words echoing in his head, the same words she had spoken to him all those years before, yet she truly had no recollection of him.
He nodded "Sorry for bothering you," he said quickly, turning to walk away.
"Wait!" she called out, grabbing her suitcase "You don't know where Rudy Hopkins lives do you? He's my adoptive parent, but he didn't show up to the meeting point, he just text that I'll meet him at home,"
Damon's eyes widened, Rudy Hopkins was the father of Bonnie Bennet, there was no way this was a coincidence.
"Follow the road back down until you - " he paused, looking at her confused and slightly panicked expression, and he felt his heart tug slightly as he remembered her all those years ago wearing exactly the same face as she was now.
"I'll take you," he reassured "Something tells me that you're not very good with directions,"
Y/N breathed a sigh of relief "You aren't going to turn out to be some serial killer are you?"
Damon snorted "Bit late to ask that isn't it? But no, I can promise I am not a serial killer,"
Y/N smiled up at him as he walked next to her, and he found himself having to concentrate on not looking at her. She was exactly the same as she was all those years before, but with no memory of him whatsoever.
He was almost sorry as he left her on her doorstep, wanting to spend every moment with her, to see if it really was her, or just some cruel trick the world was trying to play on him.
She turned to thank him, but he was was already gone.
Damon had darted back to the Salvatore household, his head and heart both reeling from the encounter.
He burst into the living room, where both Stefan and Elena was sat cozied up in-front of the fire,
"Stefan," he said urgently, causing the two others to look up sharply. Stefan frowned at his brothers expression, Damon had many emotions, anger, hatred you name them, but never vulnrable.
Not until now.
"Stefan she's here - Y/N's here,"
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roomwithanopenfire · 3 days
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Six Sentence Sunday
Happy Sunday everyone!! Thanks for the tags @blackberrysummerblog and @artsyunderstudy!!
This week I’ve done the big three: writing, editing, and ignoring my wips, with perhaps a bit more of the last one than I’d like. Most of my writing this week has been for an exchange fic for a different fandom, which I finally finished the rough draft of. Cue the celebration. However, even if I wanted to share anything from that, I can’t, it must remain hush-hush, but I am getting pretty excited to share it (and way more excited about receiving my own exchange fic back, this whole thing is very fun).
I’ve written less than 300 words on my COBB this week, and none of them are good, but I have gotten some editing done of Proof of Life. I can’t share any more snippets of the next chapter though because I’ve shared too much already. So instead, I figured I’d do a bit of a process post this time around, because I always love reading those. Check that out under the cut! (and i'm sorry this is long, i still have not learned brevity)
So my editing process isn’t too crazy, and is brought to you almost entirely by google docs comments. I also use the word ‘editing’ very loosely to encompass rewriting, revising, and proofreading. Sometimes editing means completely rewriting a scene/section, sometimes it just means switching around a couple of words or cleaning up a sentence. 
Mostly, I try not to take everything so seriously, because I know that I could edit something forever and ever and never post it if I let myself get too carried away. So I try to keep everything pretty chill. So here’s my steps I go through for each chapter that I edit. 
Step One: Reread the whole chapter. While I do this, I’ll leave comments on big picture things. “Maybe move this scene into the next chapter” or “The dialogue in this scene feels stilted” but I don’t add a lot of comments at this point. Once I’m done with this I’ll copy over any comments I had on the first draft or the beta reader copy over into the ‘draft two’ document. 
Step Two: COMMENTS. Again, my fics are brought to you by google doc comments. I like to go through from the bottom up, reading scene by scene and leaving comments on pretty much every single sentence. 
A lot of the time (read: most of the time) these are really vague like:
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And sometimes these are more detailed like:
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And occasionally these are compliments
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Step Three: Once the whole chapter is filled with comments, I go through scene by scene (in whatever order speaks to me), and rewrite, edit, or fix sections. This part I find really fun, because I’m taking parts that aren’t good yet and I’m making them better. I love fixing things and getting rid of all the comments. It typically ends up being a lot of  rewriting, but I always finish a scene feeling better about it then when I started.
For example, here’s the draft one vs. draft two version of a snippet from the first chapter of Proof of Life. This is one of the scenes I pretty much rewrote. Others look a lot more similar to their original versions.
Original:
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Edited:
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Step Four: Then before I post a chapter, I’ll read through the whole thing and sometimes find smaller bits to fix. Then I’ll run it through a grammar checker and ignore half of their suggestions in the name of ✨style ✨.
Overall, I feel like I have a pretty basic editing strategy and I’m really pleased with it. Even though sometimes I feel like more robust edits would make everything way better, it’s a good mix of fixing things but not spending too much time on it. I remember I spent like a month on editing the very first fic I posted at that was only 6k words. If I kept doing that for everything, I'd never post anything at all. With fanfiction, I know that y'all will be nice to me even though it's never perfect <333
Tags and Hellos!! (I'm unsure if we still need the spaces, but i've been burned too many times lol)
@you-remind-me-of-the-babe @m1ndwinder @facewithoutheart @run-for-chamo-miles @raenestee
@onepintobean @prettygoododds @noblecorgi @hushed-chorus @angelsfalling16
@thewholelemon @monbons @shrekgogurt @brendughh @hertragedyconnoisseur
@beastmonstertitan @valeffelees @horsesarenotdeer @drowninginships @supercutedinosaurs
@fiend-for-culture @rimeswithpurple @cutestkilla @alexalexinii @ileadacharmedlife
@arthurkko @rbkzz @skeedelvee @bookish-bogwitch @brilla-brilla-estrellita
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