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#Low Self Esteem Hero

jayktoralldaylong · 17 days

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Jon: If you need a vessel so bad why don't you just become-

Elias: Because I'm not scared of them.

Jon: ......

Elias: I don't need your body, Jon. I need your fear. 😈

Meanwhile, Elias the Gaslight King in earlier seasons: Jon you know I'd never let anything bad happen to you, I'm only trying to help. We need to save the world together, isn't that what we're trying to achieve? Oh Jon, Jon, Jon, bad things are only happening because you do not trust me. Trust me, and we can save everyone. Don't you believe me?

Then it went the exact opposite with Peter and Martin.💀😂💔

Peter: I've got the perfect plan to beat Elias. Can you do what it takes to become the hero?

Martin: I'm going to save the world?

Peter: Yes, and it will be you and you alone. Do you trust me?

Martin: I trust you.

That same season 💀

Peter: You played me! 😳😭 You've been lying to me this entire time.

Martin: You lied first 🙄 and I knew it the instant you told me I'd save the world. I can't save the world. I've never saved anything in my entire life. I'm not important enough to be the hero.

#And it fascinates me to no end. The amusing spin on the characters. With Elias and Jon you've got a Master Manipulator #and a Pessimist with no sense of self preservation. 💀#With Peter and Martin you've got someone who's not spent enough time with people to either know how manipulation works or when someone is #lying to him. 💀#And someone with low self esteem. 💀#Jon has low self esteem too #but he genuinely believes he can fix everything himself and that's where they differ.#And things only start changing for the better when Jon can fully rely on Martin #And here's the most fascinating thing of all.#Stopping the apocalypse #giving Jon the confidence to embrace his powers but not get consumed by them #that was all Martin #Fighting for Jon's life #that was Martin.#At the end of the day #Martin was the hero #and he never realised it.#tma #the magnus archives #jmart #tma jmart #jon x martin #martin blackwood #jonathan sims #If Martin is the knight in shining armour that would make Jon our princess #seems about right #it's about time we got a monster-core princess too #Jon showing up to the grand ball covered from head to toe in eyes.#elias bouchard #peter lukas

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magpigment · 10 months

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spoilers for episode 19 of jrwi riptide

i love how, while talking to the empress, gillion is constantly making sure to be in front of jay and chip in order to protect them, and chip is doing the same but subtly because he doesn’t want to tip gill off that he’s going to also try to sacrifice himself if it comes down to it to protect gill and jay because he knows gillion wouldn’t let him and i’m just

bro why are they like this 😭

#like honestly they all have so many issues #why do they all have no sense of self preservation #except like jay pretty much #the hero/martyr complex that gill has vs chips low self esteem coupled w his care for his crew like. man #dandy talks #jrwi riptide #jrwi gillion #jrwi chip #jrwi jay

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spiegelgestalt · 29 days

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After poking around some more in the YouTube Re:zero analysis sphere i once again realize that my takes on re:zero are just vastly different than what is out there.

I just heard that Emilia is mentally a child at the end of season 2 and that's why she's not capable to form a relationship with Subaru...

Is... Is that fan consensus? Did I miss something? Is that how that relationship develops in the LN/WN?

Or is that just a horrible horrible take from a salty Rem/Subaru shipper?

#Re:zero #Emilia #re:zero spoilers #Wtf is happening #And why is everyone convinced that rem/Subaru is healthy?#Yes rem had a very nice and moving speech #But her hero worship comes from her own low self esteem #And she canonically watched Subaru sleep (like Edward Cullen)#And that's nothing against that ship #I just don't like that it's often presented as vastly superior to Emilia/Subaru

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iamskadhi · 1 month

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Story of a villain - Part 1

Hello and goodnight (I'm assuming you're looking for a little reading before bedtime)

DABI STANS, it is my pleasure to release the little something I've been working on for a while.

As I mentioned before: it has male POV, a little explicit smut, drama (obviously) and I also made a conexion to the first fanfic that I posted (family and quirk of the female lead)

This is a long story , but I try to use the light novel format to make it a quick reading so a lot of things will happen this is not just some "smut" fic, this is a whole fanfiction.

This is just the first part and it has over 7000 words.

I'm not sure about the title though because he's not a villain here but we'll get there, I promise.

Also, I would like to give a name to our female lead - she has one - but I'm not sure if readers would like it. Lately, I've read a lot of "you" and "y/n" on all of the fanfics platforms and I'm insecure about naming original characters so I just changed it to "babe" or simply erased it from the sentence.

I think that's pretty much it, feel free to send me messages to correct mistakes, english isn't my first language so there must be a lot of parts that don't make sense.

PART 1

“Do you ever feel… scared of me?” I asked.

“I often feel scare of losing you forever, why?”

“Not that, I mean afraid of me, like if I would ever physically hurt you”

“Wha-why? What did I do? What happened?” she looked at me completely confused, she was making coffee while I was making French toasts for breakfast.

“You’re not getting it”

I shook my head and she came closer.

“No, I do. I’ve never been scared of you, Dabi. Don’t be weird, hon”

“Not even when we first met? I know I’m not exactly good-looking — or good at all. I know what I look like and I notice what other girls say, the way they look at me…”

“You notice other girls?” she looked straight into my soul for a second.

“You know what I mean, missy” I poked her forehead “Don’t ravel my words”

“You’re burning the French toasts”

“Shit, shit, shit” I turned the stove off.

She took a deep breath.

“Are you leaving again?” she asked.

I shook my head.

“Have you been watching doramas?”

“No” I chuckled.

“Good, I hate those things, half the problems are caused by miscommunication, so please, pleeease tell me why would you think I’ve ever felt scared of you?”

“I already told you, you didn’t listen”

“Touya” she only used my real name when she was pissed “I love you, why would you care about other people staring or whispering dumb shit about your looks?”

“I don’t know”

When I was seventeen, I met the strangest girl in Japan. I didn’t know all of the girls but I was sure, she was strange, not simply weird or chaotic, strange; and the reason she was so strange is because she liked me.

I liked her too… Well, I loved her.

The thing is I cannot stay with her, no matter how much I want to or how much she begs for it; but I would rather die than letting her go, therefore I just come and go all the time.

Surprisingly, she waits for me. I only left twice since I met her, for a few months — two, five — and in different occasions I only disappeared because I needed to make my own money and I don’t want her to be involved in anything that I do, so I leave for a couple of days, maybe a week each month.

The first time I left because I got scared, I was getting too attached to her cold hands and warm kisses, I used to sneak in her house and we’d cuddle in her bedroom, she less than a year younger but we liked each other madly and eventually we had sex. I never thought I could feel that much.

“Will you still like me after this?” she asked the first time.

“I think I like you even more,” I mumbled.

Her bright eyes widened, she gave me a breathtaking kiss.

“Can we do it again?” she asked.

She kept my brittle heart warm and we ablaze her bed together. We grew up together and went from sneaking in and out from her parent’s house to going to underground clubs and bars and it was enough, for me it was enough.

She wanted more and she deserved it, I just couldn’t do it.

“You make me feel like a fool waiting for you,” she said one night before falling asleep.

Now that we were older, I’d come to her apartment, spend the night together and we’d have breakfast before she’d go to work, a good work at her father’s company. I used to pace the apartment before leaving.

I meditated a lot about my feelings about us; I knew it wasn’t exactly scare of commitment. We knew the type of relationship we had, that was clear and I was all in it. She was pretty, affectionate, loyal and I… well, I was use to give 200% of myself in everything I do.

“Take your name back, I’ll help you,” she said one afternoon at her favorite coffee shop.

“I can’t”

Because of that, I was scared

She belonged to me; she became my home. No words needed, I thought, I think she knows. I didn’t feel like I could – no, I didn’t want to fit in her perfectly normal life.

I could go anywhere I wanted, but I’d keep running back to her and every time she’d open her door for me; caress me, kiss me and make love like if it was the last time.

“We could run away together” she used to say before falling asleep.

Every now and then, she would say: “Let’s run away, let’s get out of this country, I’ll go anywhere you go” but never insisted a lot; maybe she was afraid that if she was too clingy I’d run away on my own.

Maybe I needed her to cling onto me to stay. Who could know?

I liked watching her sleep, I would wake up in the middle of the night and I could feel time moving, I’d put my hand on her breathing chest just to make sure she was real.

“Do you remember my friend Hana?” she said randomly one morning while making coffee, “she’s a med student and she has a healing quirk, I was thinking she could help to regenerate your skin. Only if you want to, my love”

“Why?”

I didn’t think it was possible but I wouldn’t mind if it was.

“Well — I just thought, it could help you to look and feel better, even if it’s for a short time…” she was murmuring but I could hear, she had something in mind but she wasn’t gonna say.

“Okay” I agreed and she smiled, I hugged her tightly and kissed her forehead.

Every morning she would get her cup of coffee and become a kitten. Then she’d go to work and I’d stay a little longer and turn the housewife mode on. She didn’t know though.

It was fun. In my imagination it was the other way round, I liked picturing a different life while cleaning: I’d go to work at my father’s hero agency and she’d be a lovely housewife, by now we’d have our first kid, hopefully a girl, by God’s grace she’d have my sister’s temper!

She would be calm, nerdy, sweet and beautiful as her mother. Of course, this was all in my imagination.

I hated thinking about my family, but I liked the idea of us starting a family. One completely different to the family that I had, one where no one is use and discarded. However, it’s never going to happen. Not only because I stopped living by my name, but also because both her parents knew about me — and they loathed me.

At first, her mother made a scandal, she screamed and punched a maid in the face out of anger, and then her father talked to me in private, he handled it better than I expected.

“Whatever phase she’s going through I don’t give a fuck, you better never knock her up, I’ll strangle you myself if you dare”

He had balls and I respected that, at least enough — but only because I loved her.

Around seven years later, that phase wasn’t over and they were getting impatient, her mom would come to her apartment and change the door’s password (as if I needed it) on random days. The last time I was still there.

“You, get out. Now” she commanded and just as I crossed the door, she ranted: “Just because we work hard to keep this a secret doesn’t mean we’ll ever accept you, I’ll find a good suitor soon and she’ll marry him, get out of her life already!”

I sighed.

“I work just as hard to keep my manners, ma’am.” I lighted my hand with blue flames. She gasped.

“Are you threatening me?”

I just walked away. I don’t do threats.

About an hour later, I got a bunch of “sorry” messages and a phone call.

“I swear I’m gonna change the whole fucking door if it’s necessary… even better! I’m moving out and will never give her my new address so we can fully live together, you won’t have to leave the house if you don’t want to”

She started a whole speech about living together, I could imagine her walking in circles and moving her free hand all around and it made my day just listening but a life like that… it was impossible.

“You still coming home tonight, right?”

“I got a lot of things to do, babe”

“Wanna go out?”

I laughed.

“It’s Tuesday, you have work tomorrow, just eat your dinner and go to bed”

“Did you cook?” she asked happily.

“Yeah, probably”

“Did you burn it?”

“You’ll find out, send me a pic before you go to bed”

“Of course. I love you”

“Me too”

I’d never say “I love you” on the phone, it was too embarrassing, but she was fine with it.

A week later, she caught me off guard. It was her day off and her friend Hana came over.

“I don’t know how you manage to live here, it took me forever to get to this floor and I used the elevator! Oh, OH! He’s here! Good morning, Dabi!”

I suddenly remembered how talkative Hana is.

“Morning”

I met Hana when they were in high school — they were childhood friends. At first, Hana was cautious when I was around, she used to leave us alone almost immediately, I think Hana might have tried to talk her out of this, but obviously it didn’t work.

I don’t know when we started to get along.

“Good morning, sunshine!” my baby greeted her playfully.

“Good morning! You’re having breakfast, am I early? Really? You woke up late, it can’t be me. Can I have some? I ate before coming but I spend a lot of energy to come, the subway, the cab, the goddamn elevator, I’m starve!”

Hana was like a shot of espresso, and my babe is a caffeine maniac.

“I made extra, sit down please” my baby served two plates, orange juice and coffee just for Hana.

Hana’s quirk required her own energy to heal others if I’m not wrong, I realized why I didn’t have to make breakfast this morning.

“So you’re a med student,” I said casually.

“I’m resident already” Hana took a sip of orange juice.

“A what now?” I was in disbelief “Did you bribe her?”

“Not yet” she smiled.

“Oh, shut up” Hana laughed “I was just lucky my quirk is too useful and we’ve been friends for a long time. I know you both if I’m allowed to say so and also I’m curious about what you’d look like if I can fix at least those patches under your eyes”

They had a lot to catch up while Hana was eating; I kept bringing plates to the table just to make sure they had enough time to talk and create my chance to disappear.

I made my way to the door and Hana caught me.

“Where do you think you’re going, sir?”

“We ran out of orange juice”

“We have enough orange juice, go lay on the couch now,” my love commanded and I obeyed.

For a moment, I thought at least Hana would be quite while using her quirk, but she was like a radio host.

She required physical touch and her eyes analyzed me as if she could see right through my burned flesh.

“The damage is too deep, I don’t know if I can fix your tear ducts, you can close your eyes and don’t worry, it doesn’t hurt” she was narrating every single step while massaging both of my burned patches of skin under my eyes. “I’m removing your dead cells, I know it feels weird.”

I felt a little tickles but not enough to laugh.

“This isn’t exactly regenerating, you can’t bring back to life a cell once that is dead, but I can put your living cells to work and create new ones while removing death skin with this massage. This might take a while, but trust the process”

A few minutes later she washed her hands, my babe bought iced coffee and sweets, and Hana kept working hard on fixing my mess.

“You can go and watch a movie on TV, dear, you don’t have to keep feeding me, we’ll be fine,” Hana said.

“I’m starting to feel bad for giving you work on the little free time you have”

“It’s okay, I’m serious”

“Well… I… if you need anything just ask” she said before going to the bedroom.

“Talking requires energy too, you know,” I mumbled when she massaged my neck.

“It feels weird touching people like this in complete silence; you could talk if you want me to shut up”

“I have nothing to share with you, sorry”

“Well, you’ve been dating my best friend for a long time, we’re adults now and I’d like to know how serious you are about your future”

“Are you her mom?”

“I am concerned,” she admitted.

I opened my eyes, she gave me her more serious gaze and she was the type of girl that stops mid-walking just to say “hi” to all the kittens. She meant it.

“Concerned about what?”

“A lot of things! I don’t know your real name” she started a whole speech but kept working on my skin with a little more pressure as if she was prepared for this, “I know you’ve been an important part of her life since high school, you’re practically a pillar! When I first saw you I thought she was in big troubles, but you’re good to her in your own way; you don’t take anything from her and you keep her centered, you cook for her and…”

“So? Where’s the ‘but’ I’m waiting for?”

She stopped massaging my skin.

“I don’t know, I never dated anyone, but another friend just got engaged and I thought… when will I go to my best friend’s wedding?”

She sighed.

“I can’t do that”, I said.

Her eyes turned to knives figuratively, I was sure a thousand ways to kill me were running inside her mind.

“But my name is Touya”

I was surprised when she smiled.

“Good enough, I’ll take that for now” she took something out of her purse “And by the way, you’re really handsome, Touya. I bet she knew before anyone else”

Hana handed me a mirror, her fingertips had pieces of my burned skin stacked but she didn’t seem to mind at all. I was speechless when I saw my reflection; I couldn’t even see the parts where my skin used to be parted.

I touched the staples and piercings I had to keep it all together.

“I didn’t remove them because I suppose you’ll use your quirk again even though you shouldn’t”

“Thank you”

By now, she completely regenerated my face’ skin and half of my neck. She kept working in silence; she started to look tired but didn’t stop.

It took her over six hours to regenerate my skin from the neck down to my chest, she worked hard and it showed.

“I heard silence and I got worry, how’s it gooo… oh my god, Hana!”

“The devil’s in the details! I’d like to help a little more but I’m exhausted”

“You can take a nap here,” my babe pointed out the room.

“Oh no, I’m sure you’d like some alone time right now. I’ll have more coffee before leaving and can I have some toasts?”

“Everything inside my fridge is yours, you earned it”

Hana almost leaped from the living room to the kitchen, she was tired and starving but managed to keep her cool — and now I admired her, but I wouldn’t admit it out loud. My babe sat next to me and touched my face carefully.

“How does it feel?” she asked me, rubbing the back of her hand on my cheek.

“Soft. Good”, I admitted. “Can you go out and buy something for me?”

“Of course, my love, what do you need?”

After some instructions (and snacks), my babe and Hana were going out the door when she tried to give her something.

“Oh no, it’s okay, I just ate everything in your kitchen”

“This is for your silence”, she said resolute.

“Oh I see”, Hana mumbled and took it.

When she came back home, she helped me to bleach my hair. I was drying my hair with a towel in front of the mirror and barely believed my eyes, my whole face and now my white hair… it was as if nothing ever happened; except for the staples.

“My love, are you okay?” she knocked the door.

I lost the words when I opened the door and saw her big bright eyes and her pupils dilated, it felt so good as if I was reborn.

“Just for now, call me Touya,” I said taking her hand and pulling her closer to me.

“Touya… Can I kiss you now?”

“We’re so doing more than that”

We started kissing, she slipped her tongue into my mouth and I picked her up, tangled her legs around my hips, and touched my cheeks with her cold hands. It always felt nice. I took her to the bedroom; she was breathless when I put her down.

“You shouldn’t have put on any clothes,” she said while taking my jeans down.

“You should’ve take yours off before knocking the door”

I undid her blouse.

“Yeah, no more talking, okay?” she mumbled while turning around and took her pants down. Put her elbows on the bed, her back perfectly arched.

“Straight to the point?” I sighed and pulled her head up by her hair “But I want you to keep looking at my face right now”

“You’re feeling kinky, will you talk dirty?”

I licked her neck as she turned around, I gently caressed her clitoris with one finger.

“I won’t make any promises”

She ran her hands through my hair. Sparkling eyes locked in mine. Her warm breathe hit my neck.

“Fine, but don’t stop” she said.

I kissed my way down on her until I was on my knees, caressing her thighs with my hands and I looked up grinning when I licked her most sensitive spot.

When I heard her heavy breathing, I pushed her gently on the bed, I got up to see her naked body and licked my lips while caressing her vulva with my fingers; she was beautiful, wet and warm. I did my best to resist the urge to go deep inside her.

Missionary was not her favorite position but right now I felt like spoiling her a little more than usual. She tangled her legs on my hips, tempting me, and clawed her fingers on my back - up and down - impatiently while making out.

I took her wrists with one hand and put them up her head on the pillow.

“You’re being mean” she whispered with puppy eyes.

“I thought I was spoiling you,” I said while running my tongue over her nipples.

“Yes, you are, I might get accustomed”

I laughed; she was so strange. She led one of her hands down to my dick.

“Put it in”

I shook my head and she pushed my body and rolled us to be on top.

“Do it now”

“We ran out of condoms last night”

“What?!”

She suddenly turned all shy, her cheeks were blushing and she covered her breasts.

“Why didn’t you tell me when I went to buy your hair bleach?”

“I remembered just now, but you can sit on my face”

A sly grin made the timid woman disappear, she came over and I clawed my fingers on her ass while I run the tip of my tongue through her, different paces at different spots - gently where she was sensitive and rough where she wasn’t - and she wiggled her hips slowly, enjoying it.

All I could see from between her legs was her upper body bounce, heard her whispered sighs and I reached my hand down to touch myself. She was at the edge of coming done and she was gorgeous, I wanted to feel it but I had to settle with my hand.

I focused on her clitoris with the tip of my tongue and caressed her hips with my other hand, her knees were trembling, her hands reached my hair, I closed my eyes.

“Da… bi” she stuttered whispering. Her body lost control, turned weaker. “Touya”

I could see it in my mind. I introduced two fingers inside her; tickling her sensitive spot to help her more and with one last swipe of my tongue on her clitoris, she was done.

By now I had memorize every inch of her face when she had an orgasm and it always made me feel so satisfied and amazed as if it was the first time. Being able to make her feel this way was like a prize, I felt like if I was made for this and only this, the rest of the world stopped moving for that moment.

She pulled away unsteady, she kissed me sucking my tongue inside her mouth —I was sure she could taste herself and she liked it, she liked leaving me breathless; I felt like I could die and I wouldn’t mind it.

“Let me help you” she whispered as she went down on me.

After I finished, we cuddled and she fell asleep but I woke up. Just stared at the ceiling, time moved slowly, I had a bad feeling and wanted to get up and get some fresh air.

“Your heart’s racing” she whispered, “are you anxious?”

“I just need air”

We got up, put on some clothes and she opened the window, I took a deep breath.

“What’s wrong?” she asked me, concerned.

I didn’t know, shook my head in silence and she embraced me gently.

“Wanna go out for a walk? Let’s buy some groceries,” she suggested. I touched my face. “I bought some masks in case you didn’t want to go out like this”

We got ready to go for a walk; she put on a mask too.

“We’re spies now!” she exclaimed playful like a kid.

“You’re so cute” I caressed her hair.

“What? Spy ladies are sexy”

“Dummy”

“Let me be” showed me her middle finger; I took her hand and intertwined our fingers, after leaving the building we wandered around for like thirty minutes. It was getting dark.

Everything was normal, I looked around, nobody was looking at us or at least at her, I usually walk behind her to elude the attention she gets. My babe was like a daydream, I used to walk with my head down and pretend she didn’t draw the attention of other misfits like me - but that was the inescapable truth.

She suddenly pointed a convenience store.

“Let’s buy some juice or strawberry milk”

“Sure”

We walked in and I took the mask off my face. A trio of little girls wearing uniforms giggled and whispered to each other and she noticed too.

“Hey, don’t do that! You’re too gorgeous, it’s not fair”

I took her mask off and cupped her face with my hand.

“You’re the pretty face in this relationship, you know that. Go and get your strawberry milk”

“That’s for you, I want an iced coffee,” she said while walking to the aisle. “Grab some chips or instant ramen”

“Yeah”

I was looking for her favorites when the door opened again and I heard a girl’s voice that caught my attention, her words shook the back of my mind:

“Natsu, can we buy some soju? I miss it”

“If you find it we can, you know that,” he answered.

I froze standing there. It can’t be. There must be a thousand guys named Natsu in the area, it can’t be that Natsu, I thought.

I saw a glimpse of white hair moving towards the aisle I was. “Move”, I thought, “move, you piece of…”.

“Hey, Touya, they have mango flavored…” she appeared in front of me unexpectedly and I pulled her and tucked her in my arms.

I saw him and he looked at me for a moment. Natsu and that girl stood right in front of me for only a few seconds but it felt like an hour, he looked just like dad.

“My love? You okay?”

“Let’s go” I said and dragged her to the counter.

I paid and we left the store behind in a rush. I felt the anger heating inside my chest, we would not go home but I couldn’t leave her like this. Maybe that was the bad feeling I had before. We walked to the nearest park, the cold air felt nice, but I felt like shit.

I told her about Natsu.

“I noticed him too, he does look like… that man… but don’t resent him for not recognizing you – even if he saw the resemblance, he grew up thinking his big brother’s dead, he must feel really confuse right now”

I knew she was right, but it wasn’t fair.

“I know” I whispered. I was so mad about the whole situation. “But it still hurts”

The way that I froze and he stared as if his eyes were knives on my chest. My left eye burnt and I felt my cheek wet. I touched it: a single tear shed.

“Touya” she hugged me and buried my face in her shoulder.

“Hana’s quirk is amazing,” I admitted as I felt more tears falling.

“She’s the best”, she agreed.

The last time I cried I was thirteen and set everything on fire, so I pulled away from her and did my best to calm down — but my eye burnt with each tear until it finally stopped. I supposed I burned my tear ducts again.

We stayed at the park for a couple hours, on the way home she reminded me to buy a box of condoms. Usually, we would take turns in the shower, she liked hot water and I liked it cold (my burnt flesh couldn’t stand hot water), but tonight she was clingy and tried to bathe with me.

“I can do this,” she said “I can do this! Tell me I can do this”

“You can’t”

Her naked body was shaking in front of me; I couldn’t lie to her face. She jumped out of the shower the next second and waited to get a hot shower.

“I’ll be working at home these next days,” she announced.

“That’s convenient”

Hana gave me strict instructions to avoid using my quirk for at least a week: “wear SPF 1,000,000 if possible or simply stay indoor during daytime, you’re my masterpiece right now, take care of your skin please,” she said.

“You didn’t leave,” she murmured, “I thought you’d leave me alone at the park”

“It crossed my mind,” I admitted “but I think I make the same mistake every time. I guess I should start doing things right”

“What does it mean? You’ll stay?”

I noticed the excitement in her voice; bit my lip.

“I might try”

Is it enough? I thought. She was settling for less than what she deserved once more.

“I’d like that” she said.

It was too late and she had to work tomorrow morning, but that did not stop us. I supposed I could never give her peace, but she was okay with that; or at least she was good at pretending it was okay.

Spending the day watching TV while she’s working wasn’t exactly my idea of staying with her, but I felt like a dog when I sat next to her and laid my head on her shoulder so I had to do something.

She was typing fast on her laptop, I examined her concentrated face, and it was a mixture of depression with a little rage.

“So… when will you take a break?” I asked her.

“Around ten, I hope”

Barely took her gaze away from the screen. She was sitting at the kitchen island, if I cook anything it would distract her and I didn’t want that.

“You should go back to bed and sleep well,” she mumbled.

“Maybe I will”

“Yeah, do that, hon, we can go for iced coffee later”

I looked at the coffee pot, it was big enough for twelve cups and it was already empty.

“Not sure about that, but okay”

I checked on my phone: nothing new. Thought about the possibilities of getting a real job, but I would need documentation.

I cannot recall when I fell asleep, but when I woke up again she was there by my side, peacefully resting with her eyes closed.

I guess I was wrong, I thought. A cozy feeling filled the bedroom; it wasn’t unfamiliar, there was nothing new after all this time but definitely felt different for the better. I tucked her closer to my chest and unintentionally woke her up.

“I’m sorry,” I whispered, “go back to sleep”

“No, what time is it? I need to work” she mumbled and checked the clock “damn, five minutes, I’ll make coffee”

“I’ll cook something to eat”

She smiled and stroked my face tenderly.

“You should be a chef, hon”

“Right, as if I could get back all these years”

Or if I wanted that, I thought. Even if I could, that’s not what I wanted.

“I would invest all my money to open a place just for you. No one would know who you are, my love”

Her face glimmered; she really believed me when I said I’d stay. How could I ever live if I end up leaving again?

I wouldn’t, I thought, I’d have to die.

“Are you doing this for real?” I pulled her closer, “Are you planning a future with me?”

“I’ve been doing it for years, thank you for noticing” she said and kissed the tip of my nose. “Gotta work, hon, gotta work, gotta work”

She fled out of the room and I followed. When she was finally done with her schedule, we got ready to go out. I took a mask and she threw it off my hand.

“Don’t! I want to show off my boyfriend”

“Why?” I asked.

“Yesterday you took my hand and intertwined our fingers, you rarely do that. You tend to walk behind me as if you were about to mug me, but I think you gained confidence now — and I like it. Even if you burn your face again, stay by my side for the rest of my life, okay?”

“I might go back to black hair”

“I like that too. I like every single thing about you, are we clear?”

“Like water”

“Good, now let’s get drunk as fuck!”

She pulled my arm as we were leaving the apartment. In a million lives, I would never thank her enough for everything.

We went to a bar really far from where she lived, it was new to me, underground, and I saw a “no uninvited man allowed” sign as we crossed the door. I walked behind her, she went straight to the bartender and ordered a bottle of something and the bartender served many different colored shots.

“You’re kidding, you gotta work tomorrow!” I yelled so she could hear me above the music.

“You told me you’d stay! We gotta celebrate!” she shouted back and drank directly from the bottle.

“What’s that?!” I wanted to know, but I didn’t understand her, the music was too loud.

“Try this! It’s sweet!” she gave me a shot of whatever-neon-purple-beverage thing and she was right, it didn’t taste like alcohol at all “I love those, hon”

“I bet you do!”

She drank a couple of shots and I grabbed the bottle, it smelled like cheap booze, took a sip of it.

“It tastes like cheap booze,” I muttered.

“It IS booze!” she yelled and laugh, she looked dizzy already, “those are the good ones here!” she pointed at the counter and the fifteen different-colored shots she ordered were gone.

I saw her drunk a thousand times, something was wrong here. The bartender served her another shitty drink and I immediately took it away.

“What’s this?!” I yelled and smelled it, it smelled like a margarita but it didn’t look like it.

“That’s to dilute the shots! I’ve been here before, my love!”

She was acting like a teenager drinking for the first time, I didn’t like this, but the booze was fine and I’d take her home safely so I let it slide. She drag me to the dancefloor, she had a way to make everything around disappear when we were out, and so when she dances I just follow her lead.

This reminded me of one time she ordered tequila for the first time and some asshole tried to pull her away from me. She was still innocent back then, always trying on new things to avoid boredom.

She clung onto me and kissed me passionately. Her arms wrapped round my neck, her body fitting perfectly tighten to mine. Too affectionate to be in public, so I thought that was my sign.

“But we just got here!” she complained, but I wasn’t going to let her ruin her reputation publicly, not even for a minute.

It was cold outside; I gave her my jacket. We walked a little trying to get a cab.

“Touya, I’m fine,” she mumbled, “seriously, let’s go back, we barely spend thirty minutes…”

“You drank like a sailor in the first sixty seconds, how could you even measure time?”

When we finally found a taxi, I felt a little dizzy. The road turned to flashing lights; she squeezed my hand three times in the back of the taxi. The driver said something I barely remember.

I don’t know how or when we got home.

Suddenly we were making out in her bedroom, taking our clothes off. In a blink of an eye, she was riding me desperately, still half-naked, moaning out of pleasure and my shaky hands were touching her nipples.

I felt like the whole bedroom was moving.

I clawed my fingers on her hips, laid her down and lifted her legs; put her ankles on my shoulders and changed the pace, deeper and faster. She pulled my head down to kiss and bite my lips.

It felt like a dream. I don’t know when we finished or if we did it. Morning light came through the window, I opened my eyes and she wasn’t there. I picked up the clothes on the floor and made the bed — I didn’t find the condom.

She was on her laptop, wearing my shirt, a messy bun and big dark eye circles.

“Did you sleep?” I asked.

“Like three minutes,” she answered with husky voice.

She looked focused but I had to know.

“Hey, did you, by any chance, picked up the condom?”

“The what?” she looked at me, “I’m sloppy right now, sorry, what did you say?”

“The condom, I didn’t see it”

Silence. Her eyes widened, she covered her mouth.

“Me neither” she murmured but I heard.

I felt shock; she froze.

“We — We’ve been reckless before” I tried to be calm but I stuttered, “I probably pulled out before…”

“You don’t remember?!” she reproached me.

“Oh, you’re one to talk! What was in those purple shits?”

“You mean shots”

“I meant what I said”

She rubbed her face with both hands.

“My love, I really don’t have time for this, let me clear this other mess first and then we’ll handle the other mess”, she said while typing again.

“Did you take a bath or…?”

“Do I look fresh to you?!” she freaked out, typed faster and loud. I saw the coffee machine was clean so I assumed she hadn’t have her morning coffee yet.

I walked cautiously in the kitchen, made a full meal and placed the plates and coffee as near to her as I thought it was reasonable; then I took a shower.

When I saw her again she looked better, still a mess but calm.

“How’s it going?” I asked from a safe distance.

“I got this” her tone was back to normal. I waited in the living room.

When she finally closed her laptop, she looked at me and gasped for air, ran her hand through her hair. I felt genuinely scared, but I didn’t show it.

“I have to sleep,” she said and teleported, she was that tired; she rarely used her quirk. I saw her in her bedroom: she was lying on her stomach, her face buried on the pillow. I laid by her side and tried to touch her hair but she caught my hand.

“Are you mad at me?” I asked.

“I’m mad at me” she mumbled on the pillow, she rolled to her side and looked at me, “I’ve been there before; drink, dance, the usual, and then I would come home by myself; I know it’s an illegal bar but I thought it was a safe place for woman”

“Some places change when they gain a little popularity”

“And that single shot took you down too? What the fuck did they put in it? I liked them because they’re sweet”

“Maybe they had something”

She came closer and cuddled.

“Thank God you were there”

I wanted to bring back the condom topic — it itched my brain — but knowing that she has been there on her own before and this happened suddenly didn’t sit well. Maybe the other male clients were all accompanying their girlfriends but the bartender wasn’t — and he was a man, after all.

“Never go back there, ‘kay?” I said.

“Yep”

“From now on, we can celebrate like normal people,” I suggested. “We could buy cake and balloons if you want to celebrate that much”

“Really?” her eyes sparkled.

“Sure, it’ll be fun”

I wasn’t sure at all, but I tried at least for that one week to stop running with the wolves. I tried to settle down, but everynight at 2 A. M. I found myself staring at the ceiling.

I wondered how she does this everyday. On day five, I was losing my grip, I don’t know how I managed to keep my shit together; on day six, I dyed my hair black.

Seventh day arrived; she looked at me and asked:

“Will you go out today?”

“I have to make some money”

“How?” she wanted to know, but I wouldn’t tell. I never told her before, I wouldn’t tell her now. “Will you come back?”

I wanted to say “yes” but I didn’t wanna lie. Realization crossed her gaze.

“Old habits die hard,” she mumbled disappointed and picked up the plates. “Way to go, tiger”

“I’m coming back,” I said but she didn’t look at me.

“This happens all the time,” she continued and it cut deep; she was upset as if I was already gone.

“That’s not fair,” I said.

“You don’t get to tell me what’s fair, Toya!” she reproached me: “Do you wanna know what’s unfair? The fact that… you – out of all people – discard me all the time”

That really pissed me off.

“Shut up”

“I knew it was too good to be true”

“You want me to stay here? I gotta work too, I have to make my own money! I’m not gonna live out of your income as if I was your bitch, this is already your place filled with your stuff…”

“You can bring stuff too”

“That is not what I mean, damn, you’re being so stupid!”

I wasn’t thinking when I said it, but I regretted immediately; her eyes widened and she came to me as if she was gonna kick my balls, I grabbed both her arms and hugged her.

“No, I didn’t mean it”

She bit my shoulder so hard I wept a little.

“Touya, if you don’t come back…”

“I’m obsessed with you,” I interrupted her “I’ll see you later”

We parted ways outside the building, she went to work and I –after sending some messages- went to make my own money too. On my way, I saw some kids on their way to school, it freaked me out because I forgot about the lost condom and she probably forgot too.

“Did you get your period?” sent.

She was writing… and writing… and writing…

“No, Touya, I’m not on those days of the month” Read.

By now, I wasn’t sure if she was using my real name because she was pissed or because I requested it a week ago. I felt sick and fucked up. I thought about us pushing a stroller and threw up on the street.

People avoided me in a circle; some hero clown came to me and asked:

“Are you okay, boy?”

“Get off my face!”

He tried to put his hand on me but I managed to get away; I put on a mask and mixed with the crowd.

When I arrived to the headquarters, the morons I worked with were being too cautious as I expected; I covered my face but my neck was uncovered.

“Who the fuck are you?” my boss asked.

“Dabi”

“Take that stupid mask off, are you sick?” he asked and I took the mask off, “What the fuck happened to you?”

“I cashed in a favor” I lied.

“That’s not your real face, don’t lie, you look like a pretty kid” he smirked and laughed.

“Where’s the idiot you need me to handle? I gotta go”

“Sure, after that little vacation you just had, see if I care”

After a good amount of bravado, I went with other two morons to handle a few poor souls that didn’t pay in time. I told the others that when I got my payment, I would quit, so they’d have to find their own way to handle their clients.

“What do you mean you quit? No one quits here” said moron one.

“Funny, I just did” I smirked.

“You think the boss doesn’t know where you go when you disappear? We all know” said moron two.

“So what?”

“So what?!” both of them were surprised. I hated them.

“He’ll send somebody after your little girlfriend. Think!” said moron one.

I thought about it a million times before.

“No one can touch her” I said.

If we move out.

“What do you mean?” asked moron two.

If I warn her.

“None of you would be able to catch her, plus the boss won’t send anybody after her, she’s not the reason I quit”

If I protect her. She’ll be alright.

“Sure, you just got that surgery on your face and now you quit. You probably think you can straighten your life, but…” moron one started a whole monologue I wasn’t even gonna pretend I was hearing.

Her dad’s a big fish too, I thought, she’s well covered even if I’m not with her.

“Dabi, is she pregnant?” moron two asked me and caught me off guard. He burst a laugh “Holy shit, she is pregnant”

“You’re soooo fucked up” moron one joined him.

“In that case, I think you may quit. Our boss is a family man after all”

He wasn’t a family man, he had a family with his first ex-wife but their kids were all grown and he was married to a fourth wife now. They mocked me all the way back to our boss’ office.

“Let me be there when you tell him you’re quitting, I wanna see you get fuck” they laughed then, but kept quiet when I told our boss this was the last time I’d do this for a living.

The big old man looked at me, made a face and gasped for air.

“Come with me, man,” he commanded with a serious tone in his voice, he usually calls me kid; I followed him in silence. “I think I know what’s going on here and let me tell you something you need to know”

He thinks my girlfriend’s pregnant too, I thought. He wasn’t gonna get my guard off too. He brought a bottle of whiskey and two glasses.

“Marriage isn’t that great” he said and poured the whiskey. My mind went completely blank. “Woman these days! They are… insufferable! Especially if they have quirks, it makes them think they don’t need you but they want you to give them everything you have”

I had no words and he had a whole speech prepared apparently, so I just listened and drank the whiskey.

“I know I’m not your father but my eldest is almost your age,” he said in a sentimental tone, “sometimes I just see him in you”

“We’re good,” I mumbled and he poured some more whiskey.

“So tell me, when’s the date?”

I drank the whiskey as if it was water.

“I’m not getting married,” I answered.

He looked at me perplexed for a second.

“Get the fuck out of here”

I stood up and walked to the door.

“Hey Dabi, if you ever need quick-cash, just send me a message”

I just nodded.

It was dark outside; I wondered if she was still at her workplace.

“Want a coffee?” Sent.

“I’m good” Read.

She sent a picture, she was at her favorite coffee shop, near her building. I hurried to meet her there, but couldn’t find her so I called her.

“Where are you?” I asked.

“At the park”

I hurried again to find her. She was sitting alone with a bottle in her hand, she was drinking soju now — it was strawberry flavored — I took it when I sat next to her.

“You came,” she mumbled a little sad.

“I told you I would and you should be careful of whatever you eat or drink until you get your period, missy”

“Hey, my grandma sent me that”

“I don’t give a fuck”

She didn’t fight back, laid her head on my shoulder.

“Were you drinking?” she asked.

“A little”

“Darling” she whispered, “We need to leave the apartment”

I tried to look at her but she kept her head down.

“We’ll find a place”

“No, I mean right now, my mother got us evicted”

“Oh”

So that’s why she was drinking, I thought. I wondered where all of her stuff was.

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mirohtron · 2 years

Text

"I don't hate you."

The villain's monologue came to a halt as the revulsion flooded in like a broken damn. She breathed in, then breathed out, shakily, because she'd been getting a little too emotional. God. This was why she prepared her speeches in advance.

The hero looked at her with a sort of sombreness. "I know it's hard to think otherwise." The hero looked down at her restraints like it was a buffer. "But... I really don't. I wish you didn't try to beat yourself up like this."

There was a beat of silence, as the anger slowly rose.

"You wish?" The villain sharply laughed. "Oh, yes, I'll be sure to oblige, little miss sunshine. Your fucking audacity."

The hero winced and looked up at her with wide eyes. "That's not what I meant, I just—"

"I know exactly what you mean," hissed the villain. "And I don't need your pity. Anybody's pity."

The hero stared at her a little helplessly. That gaze burned into her like acid. Rancid and acrid and blissfully unaware of its effects.

"I miss you," the hero said, quietly. Soundlessly. She didn't follow it up with anything else. It hurt like a twisting knife.

They'd been something, once, before all the pain and the anger and the why can't we matter over everything else? But what they were now was what little remained of a thing bygone. It showed in the way the villain talked about herself and in these moments when no one was there to witness this side of the hero.

Really, it didn't matter. In the same way moments like this one didn't matter. The villain steeled herself and turned around.

"You won't be saying that once I'm done with you," she said.

They started.

She wouldn't ever be done with her.

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sophiehatterp · 1 year

Text

truly dislike the caleo plot. i feel like rick just really wanted to give leo someone so he wouldnt be left out, but he didnt really know who would/could stay with him so he just chose calypso cause it was "the only obvious choice". but like. he could have stayed alone. if he could have grown into loving himself and being auto sufficient (i hope thats a word) it would have been such a nicer plot for a character like him. we don't always need romantic love to be fulfilled. also rick could have introduced a new character in the toa series for him instead of calypso.

all of this just to say: caleo is toxic as fuck and i hope leo find someone better who truly loves him

#fuck caleo #fuck calypso ok #shes such a bitch #we are all bitches but she.#throughout tdp she was always being so mean to him for literally no good reason at all #he already has pretty low self esteem and i truly truly believe she is helping him keep it lower than the underworld #leo valdez #calypso #heroes of olympus #hoo #toa #pjo #percy jackson

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kim-poce · 2 years

Text

A Mean to be Good 9 - Missing

Tell me if the tag worked, please?

Hero = Indigo

Villain - Garra

Previous | Next

Masterlist

CW: low self-esteem, emeto, panic attack, fear of punishment.

=-=

Garra had left the house again, Indigo’s instincts screamed that he was up to no good; which, coming from a villain, is to be expected.

They found a way through the guilty coming from doing nothing to stop the criminal, telling themselves that they were never a proper hero anyway. So why try?

The immediate problem was Clara. It’s not his fault, I brought this upon myself. They thought again as the girl jumped over the couch they were sitting on.

“Alone again?” She asked with a mischievous smile on her face, drawing her claws already. “Don’t you have an annoying hero job to do?”

“I’m on a break,” they explained. When did their ‘get beaten up one day only’ plan become ‘surprise vacation in Garra’s place’? “You know this.”

“I know that your little team is looking for you, they have a search group and everything. Hmmm is it… how did they say?... ‘Indigo, a respected hero and loved friend, disappeared two weeks ago, we are offering a reward to anyone who has clues…’ clues on something, well, they want you back, you act all sad and lonely so I thought you were kicked out or something.” she said casually.

Indigo jumped from their seat, forcing themself quiet right away when Clara almost attacked them —she doesn’t attack if he gets quiet and doesn’t resist— “W-what? You-” deep breath “You are lying, right?” Yeah, she is lying, she lies a lot I shouldn’t believe.

“Holdup,” Clara said, reaching for her phone and handing it out after a bit.

Indigo felt their heart racing, looking at the images on the screen. Why are they looking for me? Well, they don’t.. don’t hate me, but I didn’t… I didn’t think they would truly- They swallowed hard, sweat covering their face. They will be so disappointed when they find out I’m here, find out I was just too… scared? Ashamed? to call… they don’t hate me yet but they will. I’m bad, I’m such an idiot, a traitor, a-

Clara got closer, making Indigo step back and lose their balance, falling on the carpet.

“N-not now please,” they begged, looking up at the girl standing in front of them.

They should have kept quiet, they should’ve been still and she will leave them alone, but their body had other plans; tears streamed down from their eyes, their stomach turned, the guilty, fear, anxiety, and gods-know-what-else were mixing themselves inside them.

They ran.

Indigo had barely reached the toilet when they let out all the contents of their stomach. Just then noticing their mistake; they ran.

Clara was just behind them now, and the words seemed to be broken; begging her to wait would be useless.

They flinched when her hands touched their back —not the claws yet, they were hoping she could just get done with it and leave— they steeled themself when she crouched down by their side.

“I really didn’t see this coming,” she said.

Indigo was unable to hold back another flinch, they were unable to properly breathe.

Clara frowned, “You think I’ll hurt you?”

“l-later,” Indigo managed, “p-please, I won’t tell Garra, I-”

“I won’t hurt you right now,” she said, almost offended. As if she didn’t play with their nerves the whole time in the past two weeks, “I’m not a monster. I wouldn’t hurt you while you are… panicking? I guess that’s what you are… doing?”

Indigo's head was a kaleidoscope of images of the ‘Missing person’ pamphlet, their teammates' declarations, their faces, the faces they will have once they find out the truth, and somewhere in there Clara, her “plays” and claws, and the way she wakes him up all the time and how she never allows their nerves a second of rest.

“L-leave me alone,” they said.

“You seem to need some help so-”

“From you?” They snapped, head buzzing, blood running way too fast, “You are making it worse! Oh! I see, you want to see this, right?” they gestured to the toilet and back to themselves, “You want to see just far you can take me? How hard you can humiliate me? Is that what you want? You must be pretty happy then!”

“I didn’t do this!” Clara argued, “I just show you the news, I didn’t mean to-”

“Oh, didn’t you? Truly? Weren’t you trying to mess me up? To make me like this? You have pushed me to the edge this whole time, and now you want to act as if you care?”

“I didn’t mean to do… whatever this is!” Carla snapped back, “I was just having… fun…” her voice become low as if she had just realized the meaning of her words.

“I know! I’m sure you were having the time of your life when I was fucking panicking three days ago.”

Clara frowned, “I thought you were pretending I-”

“Leave me alone!” He shouted, the shower and the tap turning on, water raising around Clara. She stepped back, eyes wide.

It was the first time Indigo saw fear in her eyes, but they didn’t have time to think about it because Garra arrived, opening the door to the sight of the hero threatening his sister.

“G-garra,” their voice was low, the water fell down drenching everything, “I-I swear I wasn’t-” they glanced at the scared teenager in front of them and at the water around her, “I wasn’t- I wouldn’t hurt-” They swallowed hard, lowering their head. “I’m sorry.”

=-=

Taglist: @rose-pinkie, @wolfeyedwitch, @neverthelass, @insaneinthepaingame, @simplygrimly, @whumpy-writings, @latenightcupsofcoffee, @grizzlie70, @extemporary-username

#whump #hero whumpee #low self-esteem #emeto #panic attack #fear of punishment #A Mean to be Good #my writing #Indigo #Garra #Carla

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howifeltabouthim · 2 years

Quote

I'm not shocked or even surprised. She should hate me. People are typically unpredictable, but one thing you can always count on is that they'll eventually hate you. Especially when you're me.

Anna Dorn, from Vagablonde

#hate #anti-hero #self loathing #low self esteem #pessimism #inevitable #relationships #quotes #lit #words #excerpts #quote #literature #unlikable #anna dorn #vagablonde

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clickerflight · 2 years

Text

Resource L10#11 - Part 2: A dumpster fire of a day - Crestlen universe

Contents: waking in a dumpster, description of injuries, left to die, freaked out whumpee, resigned whumpee, whumpee who considers himself an object, mentions of past horrible trainings

I love Lionel. As I’m sure you can tell >:)

Part 1

...................................................

The underlying throbbing of his muscles on top of the ripping pain in his arms, legs, and nose was what Lionel woke up to. He tried to take a deeper breath, but only succeeded in choking on the blood that had dripped in to rest in the back of his throat from his nose.

He rolled his head and weakly let the blood slip from the back of his throat to his mouth before he dribbled it out between his lips. After spitting weakly a couple of times, he rolled his head back over the bumpy surface he was laying on to pry his eyes open and figure out where he was.

Blue grey skies and the sharp line of a building’s eave above him met his eyes, all within a greenish metal container. He blinked a couple of times and rolled his head to the side to spit again and found that he was laying on a bunch of trash bags in a dumpster.

Feeling a little grateful towards the blood in his nose that kept him from smelling whatever he was laying in, he looked back up and then considered his next move. He was injured, badly injured, but if he ended up getting treated in a hospital, he would be reprimanded and retrained for allowing himself to get captured and tortured. He sighed and closed his eyes. Training has been awful the first time, and worse the second time. He couldn’t imagine what sort of things they would make him do the third time to get the lessons to stick.

His best plan, at this point, was to get up, get back to the hero team’s base, and then give himself treatment in the med bay. He would probably be fine. He’d just need somewhere around 100 stitches on his legs and arms, straighten out his nose, put a brace on his leg and elbow and wait for his achilles tendon to heal up, and then try and rest for a bit. He hoped the hero team wouldn’t mind too much.

Lionel closed his eyes, preparing for the pain that would be sitting up. With a small grunt, he did so very slowly. He groaned and slowly started to find decent footing. Once he did, he used the edge of the dumpster to pull himself to his feet, ignoring the way the cuts on his arms stretched and broke open again. He took a shaky breath and then hauled himself over the edge of the dumpster as quickly as he could manage, his stomach swooping and his head throbbing. He landed on the concrete and took long, slow breaths before he worked his way along the dumpster to the wall. It was still really early in the morning and the cool air felt good against his raw wounds.

He limped along the alleyway and paused at the mouth. It was early enough that no one was on the streets at the moment. He looked up at the street sign and gave a shaky sigh. He was only 4 blocks away from the hero team’s compound and the relief he felt almost knocked him dizzy again. He leaned against the wall for a couple of minutes, resting before he would have to cross the street with nothing to support himself. He finally hauled himself up and limped across the street, his tendon threatening to snap the rest of the way at each step.

He leaned against the wall of the next building, resting his aching head against the cool concrete for a moment before forcing himself up and forward. Lionel was in so much pain that he practically blacked out for the next few blocks, suddenly coming to as his hands touched the door of the base.

Lionel choked on a small sound, trying to stay his shaking hands as he reached for the keypad. He just needed to enter the code, now. Then, sneak into the med bay and get patched up and take a nap and everything would be okay. Well, okay enough.

Except life didn’t even want him to have that.

85416* - Invalid

Lionel stared at the pad, his eyes tracing the numbers. He knew he put them in right. Panic was slowly starting to settle in his stomach.

85416* - Invalid

Lionel started to hyperventilate, staring at the keypad. He only had one more try. He looked at the door, becoming more and more dizzy as the panic really set in. He knocked out a rhythm on the door, gritting his teeth against the pain that every bump sent through his wounds.

He waited for a few minutes.

“Come on,” he whispered, knocking again. And then again.

He slowly turned his attention to the keypad. Entering the code again would set off an alarm, and the hero team would be so, so angry at him for waking them up or bothering them and wasting their time.

But it was either that, or dying on this doorstep.

Lionel reached out to the keypad, noting absentmindedly that there was a weird tingling in his toes. And then he collapsed. He gasped as his elbow banged against the step. He closed his eyes against the starbursts of static shooting through his body before trying his best to kneel up and put in the code.

85416* - Invalid

Lionel’s trained ears could pick up the sound of the siren from somewhere inside the building. He collapsed farther on the doorstep, blinking out black spots in his vision as the early morning sky grew brighter. He heard the cameras above him whir around to take a closer look at him.

“Leave,” Hero’s voice hissed, causing Lionel to jump.

“Please,” Lionel whispered, managing to keep his voice somewhat steady. “I’m hurt… badly.”

“They’ve probably slipped a tracker into you,” Hero replied coldly. “Get out of here and call the Resource manager or whatever.”

Lionel clenched his left hand, the one that wasn’t missing any nails. “Please, Hero. I’m going to die.”

“Good. Do it somewhere other than our doorstep.”

The video camera had clicked off long before Lionel managed to choke out a small, “Okay.”

He got to his feet, as slowly as he could manage, and walked around the building. Where was he supposed to go now? He could get to a hospital. Retraining was bad, but he wasn’t sure if it was bad enough to want to die over it.

Before he could decide, his legs decided for him and he dropped to the ground, the pain in his achilles tendon forcing him to blink involuntary tears back. He tried to get back up, but he was shaking too much. He carefully pinched the skin on the back of his hand and watched as it slowly sank into position, rather than snapping back like it was supposed to. He had been fairly hydrated up till last night, so Lionel felt it safe to say that he had lost an enormous amount of blood.

He slowly let his body relax, the aches and stabbing pain reminding him that he was still alive. He hoped someone would come down the alley soon and get him to a hospital. He couldn’t get up by himself and he was afraid that if he tried to call for help that he would exhaust himself too much or that the heroes may finally grow tired of him and come out to kill him when they realized how close he still was to their base.

Lionel closed his eyes and let the tension flow out of his body, no longer fighting the shock that had been begging to take over since the first moment that the collar burned into his neck. He drifted, not asleep, but not awake either.

Then, he heard footsteps. He was surprised by how many he could feel in the vibration of the ground, and that he was still alive to feel and hear them. He cracked an eye open, definitely not surprised by how blurry everything looked.

“Man over here. Looks like it’s target number 1,” a man’s voice declared.

“Thanks, I’ll get him. Take care of the heroes inside. I’ve had enough of this.”

Someone was beside him, rubbing his back gently. Lionel was too tired to even flinch. He wished he could lean into the touch, though. It was the kindest touch he’d felt in ages. Actually…. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d felt a touch this nice.

“Hey, it’ll be alright. I’m sorry you had to go through this, but I’m going to get you healed, okay?”

Lionel slowly relaxed again. He doubted it was true, but it…. Felt really nice to have someone say that to him. He had always dreamed of hearing it during Resource training.

He hoped this new person wouldn’t leave while he passed out again.

……………………………

The next time he woke up, it hurt a lot less. He took a breath and shifted to feel out his injuries. He still hurt, and ached, but his wounds seemed to be wrapped up. He opened his eyes, clenching his hand in the sheets. He sat up, slowly, to make sure he didn’t pop any stitches. He was bandaged and wearing loose sweatpants, but his chest was bare to allow for the catheters and tubing. His arms, legs, and neck were swathed in bandages, and his ankle was raised slightly, pins sticking out from the back where his tendon was pinned in place to keep it steady during his quick healing.

He could tell that he’d been given some health potions too. He could taste it in the back of his throat. He looked around, taking in the room he was in. There were machines around his bed tracking his stats silently and he watched the heart monitor for a moment, entranced by the lines spiking up and down. Then, on to the rest of the room.

There was a window, the glass bubbled and fogged so no one could see inside and he couldn’t see out. It was just there to let in natural light. The lights in the room were all turned off, speaking of, but there was enough sunlight getting through that the room was easily visible and pleasantly dim in the corners. There were desks of things, many of which looked to be full of medical supplies, and other paraphernalia.

Lionel looked back at his leg and wiggled it in the straps holding it up from the bed. It didn’t hurt too much. He wondered if the healing potion was basically done with it in that case.

There was a soft knock on the door, startling Lionel. He hadn’t heard anyone approaching. He waited for a moment, but it became apparent that he either was hearing things or the person on the other side was waiting for him to give permission to open the door.

He cleared his throat softly and said, “Uh… come in?”

The door opened and a man with a huge grin on his face and features that seemed to shift and leave Lionel’s focus stepped in. Lonely tried to get a good grasp on what the man looked like, but couldn’t figure out who he was or even what his basic features were at all.

“Hey, there,” the man said, still smiling. “Lionel, right?”

Lionel recognized that voice. It was the guy who was sitting next to him when he passed out last.

“Who are you?” Lionel asked, pulling the blanket up a little and fighting the urge to cover his identifying tattoo on his collar bone. “Where am I?”

The man shrugged. “Well, I have a lot of names, as does this place, though I’m partial to the name Jay and you may have heard of the place being a home base for the Dragon Clan gang.”

Lionel hesitated, trying to process this. The gang was a quieter one, known for skulking about and not really doing anything to draw attention to itself, which only told Lionel that they were very good at what they do, whatever that was. He really didn’t know too much about them seeing as he was never assigned to try and deal with them.

“And what do you want with me?” Lionel asked cautiously, unnerved by how he couldn’t even figure out the length of this man’s hair.

Jay rubbed his hands together, like he was about to give Lionel the grandest news ever. “You’re here because I’ve decided I want you to be my new partner. You are literally perfect for what I have in mind.”

Let me know if you are interested in being tagged in future parts and future content in this same world of heroes and villains.

Part three

#whump #waking in a dumpster #crestlen #whumpee's low self esteem #left to die #whumpee treated as a resource #resigned whumpee #near death expirience #hero whumper #hero and villain whump

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somerandomdudelmao · 7 months

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When I read the last upd I remembered this post ⬇️ and that's how I see both Leo's views on each other:

The way that P!Leo sees F!Leo as this kind of hero because he's the one who kept fighting for his family over and over again in the apocalypse, because even after all those years he tried his best to save them. I notice that P!Leo almost acts like F!Leo is not literally an older version of him, but some kind of superhero, he says "I'm the one who almost started the apocalypse, i shouldn't even have asked"as if F!Leo didn't actually start it, because he sees F!Leo by his actions IN the apocalypse. Like yeah, he did cause the apocalypse, but he also fought against it every second of his life, not only for him, but for the people that mattered to him as well. He grew up, stronger than ever, that's what matters. F!Leo is not a bad person, he was just sixteen, he didn't know any better at that point, but he dealt with the consequences of it, like a hero would do.

And then p!Leo is F!Leo's reassurance that, no, he wasn't a terrible person when he was young, and, yes, he WOULD have done it differently if he knew, because he'd never ever hurt his family the way he did by causing the apocalypse, at least not on purpose. Differently from P!Leo, I guess that F!Leo actually gets the concept of P!Leo being literally the same person as him (especially after casey talks to him about it and he sees P!Leo saying "they made it about me when they took my brother") and that's why he critiques P!Leo so much at the start (*points to leo* the self-hate and low self-esteem are strong on this one) but grows kind with him so easily. P!Leo is not a bad person, he's just sixteen, he didn't know any better at that point, but once he did, he dealt with the consequences of it, like a hero would do.

They're each others proof that their mistakes do not define who they are, and that they'd have fought for their families anyway

Yes yes YES. EXACTLY.

I genuinely couldn't have said it better

#cas details #rottmnt

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theclam-beforethestorm · 1 year

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We joke about Bruce being annoyed his kids’ favourite superheroes aren’t him but honestly?? This bastard has such low self-esteem and self-worth he’s probably already resigned to the fact that his kids prefer other heroes to him—in fact, he probably not only expects it, but also sees it as a completely logical thing and isn’t even bitter about it because why should he be? It’s not like Batman’s good for anything.

#dc #dc comics #bruce wayne #batfam #batman

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comfortyart · 1 year

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Forced Retirement AU - Although Katsuki makes a near full recovery from his injuries, he's left with a heart issue that forces him to give up hero work. Izuku helps Katsuki learn to deal with his new found anxiety, frustration and low self esteem from feeling he'd failed - Izuku reminding him, much like Allmight, he gave up his dream instead to save others and that's what makes him a hero.

Katsuki is later invited to teach at UA by Toshinori, and eventually becomes the 1A teacher, finding passion where he didn't expect, and meeting kids who were inspired to become heros because of him.

#hdjsjdjr #my brain has been thinking about this so much #IM GONNA WRITE IT TOO ALRIGHT #this is so messy im sorry #also they're le married :>#art tag #bkdk #bakudeku #bakugo katsuki #izukatsu #midoriya izuku #deku mha #lord explosion murder god dynamight #mha au #retirement au #mha #boku no hero acedamia #僕のヒーローアカデミア

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