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6blackfilin9 · 3 years

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I love your Anko fanart! Tell me, what are your views/headcannons on Anko X Kazuku?

hThank you so much for the ask, finally I can answer it

here is my big thank you for the waitng

In a nutshell, the shipp was created by accident while me and my buddy were working on our first Naruto AU in 2019, where Kakuzu and Deidara survived their shitty plotholes end eventually ended up in Konoha

Yeah

so, the shipp’s birth date is july the 1, 2019

anything like classy, aristocracy kind of tension-filled passionate gothic romance with playful, psychological games & hurt/comfort vibes with slight scent of rivalry is KakuAnko

Basically, they are: a very, very old man with absolutely horrendous background who’s trying to finally have his mother*cking 10 or 30 years of peace, and a rather young lady with a rocky youth who’s being good & noble yet has very strong antihero tendencies

You know, I think they do have potential, since, in fact, they seem to be very similar, at the core

They are both very pragmatic realists, the people of logic and reason, yet if Kakuzu’s irritability doesn’t affect him a tiny bit due to his ideal self-control, Anko’s can lead her to quite bad places, sometimes. They put their interests in the first place, and even though she tries to attach them to Konoha’s, she still has ‘personal’ things (I’ll write ‘bout it lower*). Their mindsets are so complicatedly organized that, at some point & way, it prevents them from having many close people, and makes them very hard to see through and predict

Both of them are very flexible & adaptive, independent individuals with similar outlooks on plenty of things and high intellectual level. They clearly can find plenty of traits that they would highly respect and adore in each other

Here I will speak mostly for “why and how” kind of things, bc both of them are terribly tricky to accurately figure out. But there will be some headcanons too

So, there are still some odds about them, due to the strong difference in their occupation, like, in plenty of cases they are really tricky to be brought together, because:

- Of the job

In original, Anko is a Konoha’s special jounin, and she is very dedicated to serving the country. Independently of whether she likes her job or not (depends on the plot), she orienteers at the people, at society’s gain from her work. So, accordingly, in any other AU her job is somehow connected to civil service, whether it’s something police-like, connected to science, or something like CCG in Tokyo Ghoul

Kakuzu, on the other hand, is a hitman and a persona non grata in literally all the five big countries, Konoha too (which makes it barely possible to bring them together in the original universe without hard complications or heavy drama. But still possible). He orienteers on his own gain alone, but, depending on the job, it can include others’ gain, too.

This detail makes him a saint once he holds supervising position in some company or any high position in the government (the better the working conditions of the staff now- the more money in the prospective), and the sheer nightmare once he has it on the opposite side of the law. Him as a mob boss is a complete different topic for discussion, but to get the point, in this case, the trouble isn’t him increasing the level of criminality (its rather vice-versa), but taking hold of too much control in the high and underground structures. Even as an ordinary hitman he’s rather tricky, since everything depends on the case

In most of the stories, they come to some sort of compromise, and how hard it is to reach it depends on how shitty his job is and how attached they are to each other at the moment

Like, in the above mentioned Shippuden AU and Harry Potter AU (which I also wrote with my buddy) everything went like clockwork, because there they are both more or less on this side of the law, in Tokyo Ghoul AU (which I also wrote with my buddy) it is a bit more complicated, with her being in-law and him being very much outlaw, in the Avatar AU (which I also figured out with my buddy, but we never happened to write it) it is also pretty smooth, with both of them being outlaws and then jumping out to the glory after all the shit is done, but in another Shippuden AU of mine, this all would be just a motherfucking bloody disaster

- Kakuzu is actually a hard nut to get attached to anyone

He lived too long to be truly afraid of anything, though. Its mostly because he doesn’t really need to get attached to or become close with someone to satisfy his need for communication. The man can get along with anyone once he wishes to, he can have countless acquaintances and plenty of buddies, but he doesn’t have many comrades and barely can call anyone a friend. Because he is used to lose everything and everyone he ever had or happened to have, because of his inhumanly lengthened lifespan.

It requires time for him to get used to the person, and then, eventually, in some cases, spend plenty of it to get attached

Plus, for him, due to his profession, each close connection is a really great responsibility for him. In most cases, he’d think twice of weather he is ready to take it or not

Though it of course has the personal factor, too

In Anko’s case, she has a grand privilege by being a very intelligent and keen woman, not just in cognitive plane, but in emotional, too. High emotional intellect is actually a rare trait, so she automatically stands out of the crowd for him. Even though it won’t guarantee his alliance, it will grant her his high respect and some sort of sympathy

- Kakuzu is, technically, an asshole

He does have his moral compass, which includes a great amount of common social morality, but he also has that “I am working” state

Even though Kakusu has a set of professional principles, and he still acts accordingly to what he thinks is right, one and the very same situation can be solved diametrically different once the context changes from working to casual and vice versa

This, and him being very independent and quite antisocial, makes the degree of assholeness depend on various factors

This can lead to major conflicts of interests, and if they are possible to have any compromise or not is strongly attached to the circumstances. After all, both are very, very prideful and dignified people

- In other words, the only major issue for them would be morality questions. It’s possible to make the case acceptable for Anko, since both of them ain’t truly squeaky clean, along with Kakuzu being willing enough to watch his borders

- She is provident and doesn’t really need a lot of money on a daily basis, which is much of a joy to him lol

- *they both seek for the stable ground, first of all

Taking in consideration the life conditions Kakuzu had in his youth (despite war state, he still stably had family, friends, grand respect from everyone, home, warmth and food) and how terribly he was torn out of his secured social environment, I believe what he seeks through all his bounty hunt and other money-connected manipulations is stability. Sustainability he had back then. The only way to have it in the conditions of our existent world order is to have money (and a very good mind and luck)

Anko has indeed much more altruistic motives, yet it’s still not that simple. It seems to be, on the first sight, yet considering the “Orochimaru related cases” and her very wayward behavior toward them, it’s clear she keeps her own motives and needs in mind oh so well. The service she has is very well payed, it allows her to do what she likes or believes is right, and to have the living conditions she finds comfortable. And only here, relying on the made sustainable basis, she does what she does

- Thus, they both illustrate the principle “first help yourself, next help the other” just right

- She knows she can keep an eye on him, yet it’s clear for her that her influence isn’t borderless, as well as telling him off some stuff is kind of a not wise thing to do. So in the majority of cases, she never interferes

- This is not common, yet he can actually change some plans if the situation is serious and the compromise can’t be found. He is that kind of person who works on a further prospective, and in this context, this would be the relationship with his loved one

- While Kakuzu is quite conflicted and has very reserved controversial persona, Anko is both controversial, conflicted, and sort of two-faced, on top of that

She is a very sincere, cheerful and humbly honest human being, yet she has some darker natural traits of her character that became rather strong with age and traumatic experience. Cunningness, guile, ways-depend-on-the-case and a bit of ruthlessness, that is. Moreover, she has some unsolved personal issues, which makes her even more twisted.

Like, remember the time when she confronted Orochimaru during the exam? And Kabuto, on the war? Getting rid of them is indeed beneficial for Konoha, but it’s clear that for her it is personal vendetta in the first place. She wouldn’t have tried to do this alone, otherwise, because these two are rather dangerous ones, to say the least.

She uses greater good to cover her real motives (even though it is not truly complete bullshit), and seems to have a terrible habit to keep silence about really important things, which makes her quite prone to lying, in some cases

And sometimes it very badly pisses Kakuzu off, since it makes her prone to doing useless but dangerous shit too

Yet this not any kind of separate hidden side, it is integrated into her personality, and coexists with her bright one. That’s where her violent humour comes from, for example.

But Kakuzu, on the other side, is completely monolith individual, yet sometimes his mindset can create contradictions when it comes to something important to him. but it's another topic

And seeing these layered constructions, and motives, they can pretty finely predict each other’s behavior. Not super-neatly, but they for sure see the basis. This is what helps Kakuzu to prevent Anko from doing some stupid shit, sometimes

- Anko has a role of an indicator for the people who don’t understand and see the changes in Kakuzu’s mood sometimes, since she usually reacts quite openly. Yet, when she has the same unreadable mask of cold, or one of guile, it’s a nightmare for them

- They prefer the non-verbal way to show their feelings, even though Anko is obviously the more chatty one

- They don’t say things such as “I love you”, or other sensual stuff like that really often, believing it to be some sort of cherished words that shall not be spelled mindlessly

- Anko isn’t majorly into PDA, but she fancies it much more than Kakuzu does. She has her whole moments of studying something with her hands, whether it’s a hand, scar or face. He’s more into passive display of affection, like wrapping an arm over her waist or leaning to her or something of this kind; they can allow themselves to (not sexually) kiss in public though

- She knows he doesn’t like to walk hand in hand due to considering it a youthful thing, so there are times when she intentionally walks holding on to his sleeve; generally they walk separately in order not to bother each other, but sometimes they walk arm in arm (like an old Victorian couple lol)

- Being older and wiser, Kakuzu eventually upholds some kind of mentoring position, yet he never considers himself any kind of a teacher or master to Anko, believing her to have a good head of her own. He is just insightful enough to break something through to her or give a word of advise

- This, combined with his highly powerful demeanor, also makes him have the leading position in their relationship

- Anko respects him much enough to fortify this, entrusting with plenty of life questions (like organizing the family budget), even though they make the majority of decisions together. Mostly because he is truly wise and highly experienced individual.

- This makes him one of the very few people Anko would actually listen to and take their opinion in consideration

- So basically they have equal relationship with some tendency to patriarchal order

- And it is, really, mostly economically-based disbalance, with him earning much more than she does

- Yet they never have any financial-based issues, since both of them keep in mind and respect the contributions of each

- There is major power play here, too. He has the absolute might, she has seduction. Anko loves how he makes her want to submit to him, let him have all the power, so she likes provoking him. And she knows he adores it, loves the subtle control she has over him

- They don’t have conflicts in their everyday life. Each knows how to avoid pissing one another off

- He cherishes her playful demeanor, her intellect. Combined with her cunningness, it allows her to rival him, in social sphere. The way she constructs her phrases, the way she speaks, mimics, moves, how bewitchingly it suits her feminine snaky features makes his blood boil and heart melt

- Both of them, actually, have rather specific kind of dry, dark humour. Kakuzu’s is very cynical, satirical, quite often menacing and subtly demeaning; Anko’s is very sarcastic and quite dirty, even gruesome and rather violent

- Sometimes they “fight” verbally as a form of a play. In some circumstances they may sound pretty vile, so some unobservant people mistake this for display of hate

- In general, Anko is the one to heat things up with her playful demeanor, which can include provocation and rivalry, and Kakuzu is the one to keep this energy in borders, accumulating it up to much more intense states

- They both put the comfort in the first place when it comes to household. Everything must be cozy, useful, silent and super clean

- Yet they are both very unpretentious and modest, really

- She absolutely adores when he is showing his serious, severe side, or powerful demeanor. She finds it incredibly suitable for him. She also likes how his real age is sliding out in this or that way. Like, even though he has rather young face (that of 37-40 y.o.), his eyes give away that he’ve seen oh so much more than it seems; the grumpy noises and grunts he makes, the lazy attitude in movements and the way how rapidly he finds a comfy pose once he has a chance to take a seat

- They are both rather patriotic, yet while in the most stories Anko’s feelings mostly lay towards the country she lives in, Kakuzu’s more often lay towards some places, so called small motherland.

- Kakuzu actually could be a source of deep, strong admiration and delight for her, despite all of his bullshit. The unbreakable will he has, mighty burning heart, all the wisdom, talents and mind. Being sent to fight god damn Hashirama, clearly a genius of his times, financial & management genius at the least. And, still, after all the hard times he’ve been through, he maintained the very strong sense of dignity and nobility, even though slightly twisted due to the profession and abnormal lifespan

- And the very same things can serve as the source for her chagrin: with all those traits, he could have been so much more rather than a criminal. With all the gifts he’ve got, he could have been of great use to society. He’s much easier about this, since his prospective is much wider and embraces decades (and in some universes even centuries) instead of months & years, and he knows that he’d be switching sides throughout his life, being on this and that side of the law, yet he still is a bit uncomfortable once it’s brought up

- They are deeply into science, which makes them atheists. He’s into medicine and human biology, she’s into chemistry and reptilian biology; both of them are nuts for physics, history and psychology

- They solve complicated physical and mathematical problems together time to time. She is the first one to have tea-breaks due to losing her temper over it, he tries to figure things out right until you can sense the smoke coming off his head

- Actually, they do have a stumbling stone aside from job & morality complications. And this is Anko’s attitude towards Orochimaru

What she does is basically ruins her life very-very slowly, maintaining the issues she has and planning to make him pay for all he’s done

Kakuzu knows exactly what is really going on with this attitude and why, but he can’t really do anything about it. Like, he knows he can’t make her change her mind or put something into her head

All he can do is really nothing but try to explain how those things are working, and even this option is basically a landmine field for him. At some level she does understand that he could probably be right, yet she just refuses to go back on her mind. And this is actually really dangerous, so at some moments they can fight quite badly about it

- He’s scared shitless to lose her, though; especially like that, even though he knows clearly that he will, anyway, sooner or later

- he knows that losing loved ones ends up with sheer disaster for him, yet he isn’t afraid to pay such a high price for those six, five or four decades of being with her. Because these decades are that of a paradise ones for him. Wife and family, as well as stable job, incomes and life conditions, are some sort of physical definitions of sustainability he craves. Especially family, yet it’s far ahead to plan

- The fact that he will have to bury her one day makes her rather depressed, as well as the knowledge that the only thing she can really do about it is to try to bring him as much happiness and comfort as possible before she dies

thank you, i'd say more, but it's too much already

#my art #naruto #naruto shipuden #akatsuki #naruto akatsuki #akatsuki kakuzu #kakuzu #naruto anko #mitarashi anko #kakuanko #they are very entertaining disaster

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youwontlikethisblog · 3 years

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The After Math Of Their First Time.

Now in the after math we have an even more confused Armando. While Betty has had yet another dream of hers become a reality.

As I mentioned in my previous post regarding this night(Forgive Me Post) when Armando goes to drop off Betty he brings up the fact that it wasn't Betty's first time(he wasn't her first) he asks her: Beatriz , who were you with before[me]? when she stays silent and worries her mouth Armando's demeanor changes.

"There was another man in your life, right?" She stopped making eye contact with him before he asked this question and nods while swallowing hard, briefly makes eye contact and tells him:

"Yes Sir. There was someone. I had a relationship before[you]."

"Nicolas Mora?" Armando says not missing a beat nor a second. His lips sit in a tight line while he examines Betty.

"No." She says in a low voice, swallows hard and shakes her head. Since her behavior and mannerisms all go in hand with what she's saying; Armando who is a man who is good at manipulating people based on body language(not as good as Mario though) believes her. He stops staring at her, turns to look in front of him and looks to take a breath of relief. "It was somebody else but I don't like talking about that." He turns to stare at her.

"No, I don't want to make you uncomfortable either." He seems more relaxed here than he did seconds ago "Let's not talk about it anymore."

I briefly touched on the subject in the last post that Armando was jealous in this scene, however, what type of jealousy? I would like to expand on this here.

(If you haven't yet; read post Nicolas Mora Is Better Than You before you continue reading this post.)

Jealousy is a bunch of feelings summed into one: Insecurity, inadequacy, resentment, hopelessness, and/or disgust.

While Armando does feel possessive of Betty as an object, harbors feelings of animosity against Nicolas he also is jealous of not only Betty(and her "relationship" w Nic) but Nicolas. He is extremely jealous of him and not only because he is a threat in an economic level or even a romantic level but because he is a threat in all aspects.

To really understand this lets ignore what I said in the previous post about how Armando isn't the one that is actively in Betty's personal life and how he only gets glimpse of it or how Don Hermes approves of Nicolas.

Lets completely ignore that Nicolas is in Terra Moda, Betty is the owner of Eco Moda and working for Armando.

Let's pretend that Betty and Armando met one day and they established a friendship of sorts. Maybe they shopped at the same grocery store, maybe Armando and her interacted when she worked at the banks(bc she never got fired) and from there formed a friendship of sorts.

Though things were always impersonal, Betty had a small crush on Armando who went to the bank on a regular biases where they talked about money blah blah blah and Armando slowly started to wonder about Betty and her personal life and one day Armando finds out Betty has a boyfriend.

He finds out when he goes to the bank by overhearing Betty talking with a work friend about it(in this scenario we'll also be forgetting that he is extremely obsessed with perfection) and he asks her about it once their meeting is over and she tells him she doesn't have one but he ponders about this on his own and becomes paranoid about his feelings and investigates who Nicolas is by asking said work friend of Betty's about Nicolas.

He finds out Nicolas is a man desired my many women, who is relatively economically comfortable, is extremely smart and that Betty's dad, who hates everyone, approves of him and that they see each other mostly every single day and that he's always around and that she's stupidly in love with him and that Nicolas, even though he's a good looking man and who has women fawning and crazy about him is also interested in Betty so he isn't a superficial man and cares about the substance of people which means Betty is really exquisite, but that they aren't actually dating because he hasn't made a move on Betty(I combined what Mario, Bertha, and Mariana said).

What Armando knows of his feelings is that he looks forward to seeing Betty when he goes to the bank because she's always so kind and accommodating to him and communicative as well and that she's always personally helping him so they are constantly communicating and he looks forward to it. He knows that Betty is a smart woman and that she also has really wonderful qualities that he likes and because she's also so unconditional with him he thought maybe Betty liked him, that it made sense she'd be like that towards him and that it made him feel special but now he finds out that somebody else has Betty's heart.

So he decides to ask her out and they embark into this affair of sorts(We're also ignoring the sinister plan). However while he is still curious and wondering about how Betty's personal life is and how her inner world is, Betty hasn't welcomed him into it yet. Better yet Betty keeps him at arms length and though he has been somewhat honest and invited her into his personal life he still stands on the outside meanwhile Nicolas remains on the inside and he isn't leaving any time soon.

Armando begins to resent that Betty isn't letting him in while he has let her in, he begins to resent Nicolas for taking Betty away from him one way or another. He feels that he isn't as important or as special as he thought he was and this makes him insecure as a person. He begins to feel inadequate, for the first time in his life, in the romantic front.

So this night after Betty and him have finally taken their relationship to the next step he angrily asks her if Nicolas was her first.

Why do I bring this make believe up?

We're so clouded by the past actions and who Armando is in the core of it all and his complexities that I'm neglecting this important fact. Armando doesn't just view Nicolas as competition, he feels inadequate next to Nicolas and as he told Betty, he imagined and thought he'd be her first(it most likely is also that he thought no man would have slept with Betty up until he did).

It's why he repeatedly told Mario that he couldn't do that to her. He wasn't talking about not being able to physically make himself have sex with her because she's "ugly". He was talking about the morality of it. That he couldn't take something so valuable from Betty with deception, that he couldn't be the man that she gave her first experience to when he didn't love her because he knew how it would impact her, how it would hurt her when he ended the relationship and he couldn't bring himself to do that to her(however like I already pointed out, while Betty was being vulnerable Armando began to fall in love and that's what made him want to sleep with her).

So when they finally do sleep together Armando is disappointed that he isn't her first time and when he asks her about it and she confirms it, he now fears that Nicolas was her first time. He fears that Betty gave herself, her first experience to him because it means that Nicolas managed to figure his feelings out before him, that Nicolas was better than him both morally and as a man.

He wants to be part of Betty's personal life. He desires to be in her inner circle. We see this when he hears Don Hermes express himself about Nicolas. When he knows that Nicolas has dinner with her family, that he spends time inside her house. He knows what Don Hermes thinks of him[Armando] because he heard him say he'd fight him the night he hid behind their couch(Brutas! La Policía! post). It isn't just that Nicolas could be better than him now, it's Nicolas could be the one to possess something so intimate of Betty's now.

So when Betty explains that Nicolas wasn't her first time all of a sudden the resentment leaves him and he agrees to not talk about it. However Betty's behavior leaves him a lot more curious. Now this confession of Betty's leaves him picado. I imagine that he probably ponders about her first time wonders why she was so off by it, why she doesn't like talking about it. He wonders about the relationship she had before him and who that man was and how it ended. He probably wonders if Nicolas knows about it and again how Nicolas manages to hold something he desperately wants: her trust.

He respects her desire to not want to speak about it and they say goodnight.

I already talked about the argument Marcela and Armando have when he gets to the apartment in the last post but since that post was so rushed and I was like twelve hours in writing that post I just half-baked it so I'll try to briefly, but in-depth, break it down.

As Armando enters his apartment, like a guilt-free man, he plays with his dog(I'mma call this lost soldier GBNF (Gone But Not Forgotten)) and pets him, we hear Betty's monologue.

I've touched on this in previous post, specifically the Tonight A Dream Of Mine Has Come True, the way that scene and this scene are presented is to show us that what we hear Betty saying is what Armando is thinking, I explained it in detail in that post so if you haven't read it, I recommend you do :)

While Betty says "He told me that he loved me but he also proved it to me with actions." we see Armando pondering over this as he stops interacting with GBNF probably telling himself 'I told her I loved her and this time seggs was different, I was different... could I love her? Nah it's probably not that.' except that instead of being able to go into his room to mediate on the night and its events he finds Marcela on his bed.

[I talked about the parallels in my rant post and the Forgive Me post]

While Marcela is mad and Armando is pretending to care that she is and trying to defend himself he behaves towards her very differently here. The day Betty tried a new look Armando told Mario that the only thing that keeps him with Marcela, at least the only good thing about their relationship, was the seggs and that he was satisfied with it, it's why he always gave into her manipulation because even if he wasn't in the mood, even if he told her no, even when he did so out of guilt and responsibility he still got off and at least that was worth it(that's like actually really sad. He needs a therapist for another reason now, bb get you some support and help). As we know this time he plain out rejects her and doesn't allow for her to manipulate him and when she tries to he turns her down.

Marcela throws it in his face that she had been calling him but he hadn't answered the phone since they last spoke and Armando goes on to angrily explain that next time they won't agree to speak until the next day and that he'll constantly call her and report himself so she can control him like a little kid, that every five minutes he can remind her who he is and he looks so pissed and done, like emotionally just frustrated with this argument.

Yes we know Marcela has a reason to not trust him but she feeds the cycle of her own as well. It would be so easy for her to remove herself from the situation/relationship but the problem here isn't that Armando cheats and gaslights her, the problem here is that Marcela doesn't want to let go of him. She feels entitled to him and because of this entitlement she completes the circle of hell. Again I'm not saying that Armando is innocent, he's not, he's a cheating scumbag, but she knew this before they got engaged, like she knew what she was getting herself into and she still wanted in and when they got engaged she felt entitled to all of him(I talk about this in like mostly every post, for once I'd like to write something good about her lol).

Marcela then stops arguing, you can tell she feels guilty for it and reaches out to him, placing her hands on his shoulders but he moves and pulls her hands from him and steps away from her and lays on his bed while Marcela gets on her knees, beside his bed and explains that she was only worried about him, that she thought something bad had happened to him.

Unlike with Betty, who asked him if he felt ill because of the drinks, who had her arms around him(though sometimes he looked like he wanted to take them off of him) when she asked him this and he said he was fine or maybe the drinks were affecting him, Betty told him she'd make him feel better, he asked her how, she said with her kisses and bam consenting make-out town.

The parallel of this is Marcela expressing "worry" about Armando, who tells her he's fine.

"I just want to go to the bathroom wash up, get in my pijamas, and go to bed."

"No, I can't wait that long." She says and starts to kiss him and undress him but he tells her:

"Marcela, Please." he pleas.

"It doesn't matter , you're fine as you are, please." She begs him in a I guess seductive way?

However Armando has barely touched her, when she neared him he kept his hands up in the air, only has one hand on her back as if trying to pull her from him. He then stares at her, with a cold stare of rejection(I think he's thinking to himself 'did she not hear me? I said no. I said no!') and Marcela reacts offended.

"What's your problem? Do you not want to be with me? Do you want me to leave?" She asks with an angry tone and arms folded in front of her. Armando now stares at her with fear.

Which is different from when Betty asked him if he wanted to no longer be with her and go to Marcela's apartment. When she asked him if he was feeling bad, and if he wanted to drop her off home. Armando explained to her it wasn't that but it was just getting late, however at the club he not only accepted her advances but he also encouraged them(Forgive Me Post). Not only that when Armando rejected her advance inside the hotel room, Betty respected his no.

"I'm tired." He says after trying to find an excuse. His tone of voice shows fear as he talks as if he were out of breath and though he has told her this excuse before, he hadn't given her this stare of determination. He wasn't even going to give her wiggle room and when she notices this she stands up and tells him that that had never stopped him before(yeah cause you manipulated him and pushed his boundaries).

Armando doesn't allow her questioning of his manhood to keep him from staying faithful to Betty. Instead, unlike before when he just basically gave up and let Marcela convince him otherwise, he tells her that tonight it would be an impediment for him but this whole time he looks fearful and nervous.

Now the next day Betty arrived to Eco Moda with contentment and excited to see Armando(dude Wilson is always so sweet to Betty(lets ignore the first couple of ep)).

Betty saw Marcela and Armando arriving together, which we know what that implies to Betty.

So once inside of Eco Moda, after Armando told her they needed to talk, as Betty is going towards their office she sees the personification of her guilty conscious in the shape of Marcela.

What Marcela is saying to her is what Betty is telling herself, while she also tries to justify what they did. When Marcela says that last night when he was done with her she went and made love to her[Marcela] and that it could be that he is playing Betty or her but maybe them both but that she[Marcela] is the one that Armando is going to end up with.

This speaks on Betty's fears.

When she enters their office Armando is waiting for her. He starts off explaining that he knew he had told her that he'd go to his apartment and spent the night by himself but Betty interrupts him by saying: "Nonono Sir. I told you I respect that relationship, I get it." (She sure do have a funny way of showing "respect" for that relationship.

Armando then goes on to clarify that nothing happened, basically that he was truthfully only with her and that he stayed faithful to her.

But Betty tells him that he doesn't need to explain things. Armando then begs her to allow him to explain things to her. Why does he beg her?

In a past post I explained how to Armando it was so important to be able to trust Betty and to know that she didn't lie to him(Betty, My Betty! Part 2.5 post.) but ever since the night that he fought Roman and Co. things have begun to change. Armando has become a bit more attentive and in tune with Betty's needs, desires, and feelings and after last night, it is more evident here that he needs her to know that he was impecable, that he didn't lie to her or hurt her. He needed her to know that he was truthfully only with her and that he wouldn't touch Marcela or another woman after being with her because she was special to him and their first time meant a lot to him as well. He needs her trust him and believe in him.

So he begins to explain things to her, being honest and albeit dramatic(he always is when he's retelling events).

Now for the last scene of this post lets make a deep dive to Mario and Armando's conversation/ Aura Maria and Betty's conversation.

I won't really breakdown the dialogue here, instead I'll breakdown the tone and behavior from Armando and Mario.

After Mario begs him to tell him about the night Armando calls him a vieja chismosa (A woman who likes gossip) and they go off to the meeting room.

A reluctant Armando tells him he did sleep with Betty. He is stiff the entire time as he talks to Mario, showing that he is uncomfortable sharing this with him and that he doesn't, on a very different level, want to share the intimacy he shared with Betty, but he'll only share a bit of it to get him off his back and to also be able to process what happened and how he feels about it.

As Mario says that he can imagine the concentration and imagination that Armando had to have had to be able to sleep with Betty, Armando, sitting still holding his hands(showing he is trying to comfort himself or is angry, looking at the context clues the serious expression, his tone of voice and how he seems to be refraining himself it is anger what he is feeling.) grits his teeth and clenches his jaw.

He isn't only uncomfortable talking to Mario about this but he is angry at him for what he is saying and insinuating. He tries to end the conversation when Mario jokes, telling him that he answered his question, however Mario asks him how it affected him and Armando tries to explain why it affected him to begin with.

In short words Armando tells him that Betty isn't just another woman he slept(one of his models or occasional friend) with but that she is an important woman to him and because of that reason last night was important to him.

"I made love with a woman who is in love, who is truthfully in love." He says this with a tender tone, something that holds importance to him, that makes him happy, that sweetens his life. In other words something that makes him soft but also the realization of Betty's love for him and how true it is. "This doesn't welcome any jokes." He says and angrily tells Mario "So don't expect for me to act like nothing happened. Of course it affects me, my skin isn't made of iron." In another post(Tonight A Dream Of Mine Has Come True and La Arrogancia De La Niña) I explained how Armando doesn't feel comfortable when the subject revolves around Betty as a person so when Mario makes jokes and Armando tries to defend why he feels the way he does and explain himself, as well as try to understand how he feels he stops being so reluctant in the conversation but as soon as Mario starts making jokes again he stops, gets angry and shuts off.

"Okay, one second, you're telling me that you're feeling something for Betty?" Armando looks at him with furrowed eyebrows and concerned eyes and he swallows hard. One could simply assume that he is confused or even simply worried but it goes more than that. This is the exact same expression he had when Marcela was reading that poem(Don't Yell At Her! Don't You Yell At Her! post) he is anguished to tell this to Mario, to be that vulnerable with him but also, that he is worried that he has feelings for her and the implications of said feelings.

Lets rewind a few steps and look at the journey of Armando's feelings so far.

1: He begins to take notice of Betty as a loyal employee

2: He begins to blur the lines of impersonal to personal.

3: He starts to change towards the way he treats her as her boss because he cares about how Betty feels working for him(Which he didn't care about that with the rest).

4: he makes her his confidant in all aspects of his life.

5: he entrust her with his entire livelihood(trust her like no other)

6: he begins to get curious about her personal life.

7: he is forced to face the reality of why he is so "special" to her. AKA the revelation that Betty "has" a boyfriend.

8: He drunkenly confesses his feelings to Betty.

9: he soberly confesses his feelings to Betty.

10: he lives under denial of said feelings but his subconscious is stronger than he is.

11: each night he spends with Betty his emotional attraction grows until it becomes physical attraction(Which he denies).

12: He has had to learn to notice and place Betty's needs, desires, and feelings before his own and enjoys doing so.

13: he is forced to once again face his feelings of attraction towards Betty the night before.

So again, Armando does what he does best, deny.

Due to his obsession with perfection, need to control everything, and his own personal conversations that he has within himself(Why couldn't we get those? I gotta be connecting the dots here a lot) this new revelation is a hard one to swallow. Armando has never been in love and he always thought he'd fall in love with a woman that looks like Marcela, Adriana Arboleda, etc. However now it is possible that he's in love, for the first time ever or at least beginning to fall in love, with Betty, the "ugly" assistant he has, who he knows his best friend would crucify if he found out about his true feelings so Armando, pained by this, denies it and it does pain him to deny these feelings from himself which is why we get this reaction.

To throw Mario off his scent he tells him he feels remorse, and that's it(Have y'all seen that John Mulaney special where he says that when he was a kid this police officer told him to throw his wallet across the street to make robbers run the other direction to throw them off his scent so he could escape? Basically same here).

Next Aura Maria and Betty start to talk. Betty expresses her happiness and how she would have never imagined that it would be like that(she really sticking to her five star review on yelp).

In the room over Armando is telling Mario the retelling of the events the previous night. He tells him that he wasn't capable of physically having sex with Betty when she came out of the bathroom and that of course, she picked up on it and told him she understood, that she knew no man could desire her.

So did Armando sleep with Betty out of pity? Out of compassion?

When we look at the context of previous scenes the short answer is no.

The long answer is this so sit tight. That night Armando did something he'd never done before, be intimate with a woman. Betty was extremely vulnerable with him this night. She gave more of herself to him than in the physical sense. She let him in, she welcomed him into her inner dilema and fears. She moved him, deeply moved him. She gave him something he desired more than sex. She gave him her intimacy.

When he is retelling what happened, especially when it gets to the physicality, he looks up, as if reliving the moment visually in his memory. His expression is of peace and joy. He is not disgusted with the mental image he has, in fact he is pleased with it.

Mario is staring at him the entire time with eyebrows raised, wide eyes and a slight frown. Since Armando isn't staring at him(he's savoring his memory) he doesn't notice this but as soon as he stares at him Mario stops and convers his mouth. He then congratulates him and tells him that so far things sounded like they went well and he asks for more.

In the post Tonight A Dream Of Mine Has Come True I explained the comfort Mario has at asking these sorts of questions implying that both Mario and Armando don't hold back in being explicit when they talk about their conquests and one night stands so here he expects nothing less. He expects for Armando to tell him everything about Betty and what they did. He expects a word for word replay of the night but like the times before when it comes to subjects such as these, Armando shuts it down(finally a gentleman).

Mario pesters, asking who he used as a mental image, who he imagined instead of Betty.

"No inspiration used. Last night I made love to Beatriz Pinzon Solano." Armando says starting at Mario, who looks away from him, closes his eyes and convers his mouth. Armando looks down at his hand , which he's been fidgeting with, with a frown on his lips.

Armando is lying to Mario, not about who he slept with the previous night, but about his feelings and it upsets him that he can't talk this through or talk to his best friend about his feelings because he knows that Mario will just make fun of him for it. This is where we begin to see this change in Armando take shape, while before it was blurry and almost unnoticeable now it is becoming focused and recognizable.

Armando does want to talk about his feelings and he does want to understand them to some degree. Almost like there's this yearning and screaming inside of him to understand what he feels for Betty, especially after the confession he made to Betty and not only how he felt about the whole experience but because he knows, he freaking knows he treated Betty differently than any other woman before her and the fact that he didn't even desire nor want to be touched by Marcela as well disturbes him but he has no safe space or place to be able to talk about said feelings so the best thing he can do is run away from them but unlike before, this upsets him.

It's like denying himself from something he needs.

When Mario once more tries to pry any details of Betty's body Armando gets upset and tells him he doesn't understand how he managed to do that, that it was just something that came out of nowhere. Mario then asks if what is disturbing him is that fact or what it could be he feels something, but Armando tells him that he just feels guilty for it all and his conscious is killing him.

While yes this is true, he doesn't like deceiving Betty, deep down he is actually aware now that he does care for Betty and that he was both emotionally and physically satisfied with Betty. Armando is actually welcoming the understanding of his feelings while before he lived in denial of them and avoiding them, now he wants to understand them but he knows he can't do that with his best friend so he once more, like before, shuts down and gets mad at Mario.

While Betty tells Aura Maria that her boyfriend told her he loved her for the first time, Aura Maria tells her that saying it and proving it are two different things but an overjoyed Betty tells her that he not only told her he loved her but that showed it to her because he was really special and she had never imagined it would have been like that.

Both The Pervert and Aura ask the same question "Tell me how was it?"

Mario throws out synonymous for the words "hot seggs" he is wanting to know what woman was under those clothes that made him feel the way he did, Mario is strictly physical and that's it and while Armando to some point was the same, he knew that Armando also desired a stable and good relationship and to fall in love, as Armando himself told him that.

So Armando tells him she was none of that and that seggs with her was none of that.

"So then?"

"It was like..." He stops to think, looking for the right word when he finds it he smiles, again as if remembering it fondly, "sweet."

"What?" Mario murmurs. "Sweet?" he says in a disbelief tone and low voice. "A-Armando look me in the eyes." Armando does so. "It was really sweet?"

Armando pulls away from the wall he had been leaning and shifts to face him, leaning against said wall again, and after taking a deep breath begins to explain.

"Calderon, that woman is in love with me. What? did you expect for it to not be? It had to be sweet, so yes, sweet." He says explaining. His eyes brows are middle raised, slightly squinting his eyes but his features are soft, he leans against the wall while with one hand he moves in the air to explain things with the other he has it in his pocket. This indicates, roughly, an anxious attitude as well as not wanting to talk more about the subject and that he's upset to continue talking about it.

"I get that she's in love with you but were you really sweet to her too?" Armando, who turned away from him is once more leaning hard against the blinds of the window, arms folded in front of him and eyebrows middle lowers, indicating frustration.

"He was really sweet, Aura Maria. I didn't expect him to be like that. That's why I'm saying that I think he really does love me." She smiles. Aura Maria celebrates with her.

"Okayokay. So it was really sweet for the both of you." Mario raises his arms up in a "I'm innocent." manor.

"Mhm"

"Armando, you're worrying me." He places his hands inside his pockets. Armando is staring elsewhere, worrying his bottom lip with eyebrows middle lowered(almost close together) since he looks somewhat zoned out we can assume that he is in deep thought. "What happened. Talk to me." Armando turns to look at him and defeated lets out a sigh, closes his eyes and goes to sit down and starts to talk.

"I don't know, I have to clear myself. I'm going to try and be as clear as possible with you. Lets see, I-no-best said lets separate two things. One thing is that is ugly, right?(he confused about it now? I'm just joking)." Mario agrees. "And another thing would be that I hate Betty, I don't hate Betty." This time his eyebrows are pulled closer together with really squinted eyes. He is really evaluating his feelings here and making the effort to understand them. "All the contrary, I have an immense endearment for her. She is a very important woman in my life."

(ENGLISH GET A WORD EQUIVALENT TO QUIERO/QUIERE!)

"You cherish her?"(it's the best word I could find to translate this, English is so tragic tbh.)

"Of course." Armando admits, he has a look of relief washed away with panic and now he begins to deny, freaked out by his own emotions he tries to justify his feelings for something they're not. "Of course I cherish her. I cherish her-" he places a finger on his philtrum: anxiousness and hesitant to speak. "like you cherish Sara, your secretary. Yes like my dad cherish Susana his secretary. I-I think that one in life...cherishes a lot of people and the relationship that Betty and I have established is a relationship of..." He starts to fidget with his fingers worrying his bottom lip and staring off at something on the table. "of friends." he stares at Mario and with his hand, open, explains to him. "We're friends and we cherish each other a lot. Man, I start to think and Betty is a person who has always been unconditional with me, who has always been there when I've needed her. She's a person who has saved my life, who risks her life for me every day she's a person( I don't want to use the word love but English you suck so I gotta) I love a lot(he means platonically)" Mario stares at him with raised eyebrows, wide eyes and a frown. "Tell me, why wouldn't I feel that for her? Why shouldn't I feel endearment for her?"

"No, no of course. Why not?" Mario reacts slow. He is trying to "Respect" Armando's feelings even though he wants to make fun of him for it but he knows if he does that Armando will stop talking about how he feels, therefore, stop giving him intel. "Why not? It's just this is the first time I hear you say you love her."

"Because I wasn't aware of this until now!" Armando says frustrated. "Until now that I'm faci...facing Betty." He slightly furrows his brows and stares elsewhere with a shocked expression of revelation. He takes in a deep breath and places a finger in front of his lips, thinking this through. "Calderon, cherishing Betty isn't a crime, bro." Notice his tone of voice as he confesses this final part is full of emotion. This fear that he had been carrying within himself for days, weeks or even months, that he cared about Betty deeply cares but was afraid to admit this to himself much less out loud until now, he finally admits it, he finally says it out loud because he is in a desperate need to understand how he feels about her and he accepts it. He accepts that this is how he feels and that it isn't wrong for him to feel like this because she deserves it.

Armando then goes on to say that what they are doing to her is a crime. To do that to his partner in crime, who loves him and dreams of him twenty four seven and that is what is killing him.

"It should be killing you if you did it with repulsiveness but no, you did so, sweetly. Sweetie pie." he sings at the end. Armando now looks at him in disbelief and anger.

"Then how would I have done it? She's in love, how was I going to do it then?"

Mario is now out of his element, unlike in previous scenes, this time Mario is not in control of Armando so he reacts irrationally.

"Yes but you've slept with Marcela who is in love with you and so far from what I understand the hook-ups aren't so sweet." he smiles, thinking he's found footing in the situation and a way to gain control of it.

"Ah don't talk to me about Marcela now." He stands up, annoyed. "Lets not talk about that woman. Let's change topic, yeah? Last night." He slaps the chair. "When I got to my apartment she was waiting for me." He says so annoyed, again.

"No?" Mario asks "surprised".

Skip the scene with Marcela and Patsy Pats; Betty and Aura Maria are still talking in her office.

Aura Maria is telling her that now that they've slept together that she can't stop doing it and blah blah blah I'm only mentioning it because it's funny when Armando walks into the conversation and now it's him he gets a taste of jealousy like Betty did that morning when she saw Armando and Marcela getting out of his car.

The fact Armando believes this is really about Nicolas is funny but also believable. For one, as I pointed out, Armando feels insecure when it comes to Betty and Nicolas, especially now after they've sinned, fornicated if you will, no wait adulatory because he's "committed" to Marcela. Two because he knows that Nicolas spends time with Betty at her house so when Aura Maria tells her to take advantage of the moments her parents aren't looking or when he goes to the bathroom to sneak in there with him and y'know, sha-bang.

Armando rubs his hand with his thumb, indicating anxiety, however he tries to keep his composure and if y'all haven't notice Armando now isn't speaking so harshly to Betty. He is keeping the same tone he has with her whenever he is being vulnerable. As Armando leaves Betty's office after telling her that he needed some paper work, he shuts the door hard, expressing his anger as well.

Once Aura leaves and Betty goes into Armando's office, Armando throws his jealousy fit, but unlike before when he'd yell at her and question her dedication, her loyalty, her love, this time he tells her that she can do what she wants, that Nicolas belonged to her personal and intimate life(again, showing resentment for that), when Betty tries to explain what happened Armando tries to cut her off, eventually she does though. This is similar to earlier that morning.

We then see the power dynamic here, once more Armando is the one that holds the cards and Betty is supposed to do what he says, which isn't a partnership.

[THE LETTER! WHAT WAS IN THE STUPID LETTER BETTY!]

I think those the next scenes[next few episodes] are pretty self-explanatory. Armando completely forgets about the picture he has of AA in his pocket and he makes out with Betty and Betty accepts to not break up while Armando that once the big meeting is over that he'll break up with Marcela and they'll become official, now he has to learn to accept the idea that he has to learn to accept as an idea(So confusing, I know lol) of a potential future where he is open about his relationship with Betty.

The next post I'll write is one I'm really looking forward to; AA shows up to Eco Moda and my all time favorite scene that brings and ties together this theory that Armando has thought about, for a long time, about his feelings for Betty and what it means to him, AKA the night of the museum.

'Til then :)

#armando ysblf #analysis of ysblf #don armando #armando mendoza #beatriz pinzon solano #betty ysblf #betty pinzón solano #yo soy betty la fea #beatriz pinzón solano #betty la fea #betty #marcela ysblf #marcela valencia #morch #mario calderón #mario calderon #nicolas mora

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annavysoul · 3 years

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I can confirm, they introduced themselves as 3 readers and they made a post how Bee is leaving and starting their own channel. They even made a post to support it and linked the blog, that's how I knew of the Bee drama. But yknow whatever. But they shouldn't demonize those poor future apouses lmao, it's not gonna be them, or any of us.

Warning very long, I got carried away my bad lol

But the drama on tumblr is kinda mild conpared to Youtube "readers". At least the readers here on tumblr try to hide the fact, that they're describing themselves very well but yoooooooo.... Youtube readers are a different breed. Most of them are super young (12-13, but there are a handful of readers old enough to fucking know better) and just straight up describe themselves with no shame. I even found some who put pics of themselves lmao. Me and my friends like to go through readings and bet, who is describing themselves as a spouse. There is one reader who has over 30+ vids on Mrs. J, and most readings are like over 20 mins long. How much is there to know about a person, that doesn't exist yet??? But most YT readers are obssessed with the fact, that Mrs. J is from India, what a coincidence that the reader is also from India lmao. I'm not saying BTS wouldn't ever date someone from that country, I'm saying it's impossible to get a specific country, age, height, religion etc from tarot cards. The pics on the cards might give you clues and the cards can say that the person is different from you, but they go into way too much detail. And it's funny because they're always soooo specific for Jungkook and V, but for the other ones....crickets🦗 On one hand it's so sad bc you have these little girls, putting out their private info, looks and secrets for the whole world to see (these vids have thousands of views) and they don't really grasp the consequences of their actions bc yknow, their just children. The internet never forgets. But on the other hand, you have these grown women who, like I said, should know better than these little girls. Not only do they get so defensive if you don't 100% allign with what they said, they are borderline so obsessed of the idea of being a spouse. Like tf??? Bts aren't Gods. They're very attractive celebs, who's purpose is to entertain people with their contents and music (hence the word idol & entertainer), while they do feed into that perfect bf material scheme, it's up to the fan to not actually develop real romantic feelings (a celeb crush and being a stan is something very different). Most are actually fans for very superficial reasons, they just find them attractive, not the music. And if you take the glitz and glamour of fame and money away, Bts are regular human beings, with flaws and issues. Like. The. Rest. Of. Us. They only show you the best side of them, because it's part of the whole idol package. We truly do not know these people, no matter how sincere or authentic they appear on camera. Like so so many were suprised that they wanted to disband a few years ago, bc they couldn't handle the pressure. These readers always believe if they meet/marry them, their life is going to be better and they feel alive again or smth. Most of these readers actually need therapy, I don't mean that in a condescending way. They imagine that their spouse, a celeb they've never met, will be their sole reason for their happiness and only then they are able to fix their issues and unhappiness. That reeks of co-dependency. And even if they'd become couple and be public, then what? A really big big chunk of Armys are actually in love with Bts, no matter if they even know tarot or not (Armys usually claim that only 2% of the fandom are delulus but that's definetly not true🥴). You'd get send d*eath threats, be harrassed, get doxxed, be hated for all eternity, even if you'd decided to break up. Look what happend with Jk and the tattoo artist he only hugged. She lost her job bc Armys were reporting her, some were trashing her workplace, she got threats, her friends got harassed and doxxed and she lost a friend (Jk). Not only that, but people would legit stalk you and try to hurt you, if you were a romatic partner of Bts. Then you also have the tarot side, who'd try to curse youa nd paint you as the evil demon, who is toxic to member xyz. And I don't think you'd want to spend your entire life locked in your house. And I personally could never deal with like millions of haters, no matter how hot my partner is.

Yoooo! i search again in yt and watch a couple of videos... these are kids for go sake🥺🥺 where are their parents and why they let them public private infoooo?!? internet and children isnt the best combination...

and yess, theres also grown up women and thats really creepy, u can understand that children might do that cause they are young, BUT WHEN U ARE OLD ENOUGH, U SHOULD ACT BETTER!! and i insist, they just trying to prove to themselves and to the world that they are worth it to be with a celebrity, like yeah of course u are worthy, like any of us, but this is not the way u know? its weird, i dont think its sane at all, they just are using the cards to feel better, and thats bs. and if it is just a cope mecanism, plz work on yourself, get help, life its better when u are in a healthy place

also its interesting about mrs being from india and most of all the videos i watch where from indian armys, tarot doesnt work like that, yeah u can feel the energy that its different, perhaps different culture and think that maybe it could be a foreing, but the cards will never tell you something that specific, less if u dont even know in person the people you are reading for

we dont know them at all, and people put them in a such high pedestal just for being famous and hot, so i really have trouble to think that some tarot readers can pick their real energy, im a very intuitive person, but i need to be in the presence of the person to feel their real energy, so to be so specific in a reading they need to energise the cards with the energy of the person, they need to at least shuffle the cards and connect with the reader, sooo thats why i only see these reads as enterteiment, and its bad for the community to claim that we can see ALL of about them.

i'll never forgive the people who threaten the tattoo artist, poor girl, and thats why the guys cant have healthiest relationship, let them have a LIFE

#bts tarot #bts astrology #bts future spouse #mrs jeon #its so sad to think that they are wasting their youth and cant have friends cause some fans would harrass the people they love #like im only one year young than jk and jeez #they work so hard just to have people harass them bc they claim to be their future spouses?#mom plz pick me up #at this ratio all of us will marry bts #call me mrs bts now 🥴#no plz dont

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djemsostylist · 3 years

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Every once in a while a show sort of creeps up on you, you know? You don't really expect much of it, and then it sort of quietly wows you. Ada Masalı is that show.

At its surface, AM is about a city girl who falls for a small town boy, and all the clichés that entails, and that is the core of the story. I think that's part of why it's so good--bc this story had a premise and it's kept that premise solid. City girl moves to small town and falls in love with a local and everyone learns lessons along the way.

But AM takes the tropes and clichés and does them well. I've written before about how they take the basics and give them just enough "oomph" to make them special. I'll quote myself here, if I may:

Haziran and Poyraz both seem to fit into pretty typical roles: gruff, silent man and bubbly, talkative woman. But they’ve given each character enough nuance to move them out of the typical mold. Yes, Haziran is bubbly and talkative and a little overly loud, but she has a reason for it–silence in her childhood meant anger and fighting with her mother, and she learned how to fill the silence with talking. She is also very competent at her job, genuinely kind, smart, and driven. Poyraz is the “strong, silent” type, but he manages to subvert the “asshole” which far too often comes with the role. Like Haziran, he has some difficulties in his past, but he also seems well adjusted, smart, genuinely kind, focused, and again, competent. He and Haziran are true equals in this show, which is rare in romcom couples, particularly Turkish ones. They both are in similar financial situations, they both seem to have similar philosophies and outlooks, and, perhaps most importantly, they are both head over heels for each other and they both know it, even if they are unable to say it out loud just yet.

At the time when I wrote the above piece, I believe we were just before episode 6 or 7, so the secret hadn't been revealed yet, and at the time I speculated that it was likely to drop before their relationship started, and I was correct. This show continues to take the obvious and turn it on its head.

Poyraz and Haziran are one of the few dizi couples, and certainly the only romcom couple, I've seen where they have entered into a relationship that isn't built on a fragile house of cards held together by mutual attraction. This couple is completely and totally all in, and it makes sense. They've had conversation upon conversation about their parents, their past, their fears, their insecurities, their concerns. They've seen each other vulnerable and hurting and scared and been there for each other at their lowest. They have complete and total trust in each other, in their love for each other, in their relationship.

There is attraction yes, certainly, god is there ever, but there is also a deep affection. They like each other, which may seem a silly thing to fixate on, but so many times with couples I ask myself "okay, but do they even like each other though?" and in this case, they genuinely do. Poyraz loves her rambling and her overreactions and the way she hops from one idea to the other but somehow always manages to make it work. He loves that she works hard and never pawns off the hard jobs and he loves how genuinely kind and caring she is. He memorizes everything because he liked her before he loved her, and that's huge. And same for her. She loves his kindness and his empathy, his ability to fix broken electronics and his stubbornness when it comes to getting his way. She loves his honesty and his pride and the way he can't ever really say no to her. I think she also really loves that he doesn't let his past affect who he is. There's a connection between them that started with a spark but grew into something actually real.

The best bit, though, is that this is the first romcom couple I've seen (there may be more) that enter the relationship on completely equal terms, no secrets, and no uncertainties. All their secrets from each other were cleared up long before they ever said I love you. They are both in a similar place life wise--financially they are both probably around equal in terms of overall assets, they both have equal romantic histories (probably a series of short term relationships but nothing big or long lasting), they both value hard work and honesty and kindness, they are both mature adults who have been "out" of their parents house so to speak (yes, both still live with their respective parents, but neither play the typical "kid" role--they both are honestly more in the caretaker role), they are both college educated with business acumen. They both have had difficulties in their past, but neither allow those issues to hurt others--they both possess enough self-awareness to know how their issues effect them personally and they both work to ensure their issues don't become someone else's burden. Poyraz helping her with her fear of water or Haziran talking him through his mother are not them burdening each other, or using their issues as a reason to avoid a relationship--on the contrary, they build their bond by supporting each other through their pain. And, and this one is perhaps most important, they both love each other equally, and they both knew it before it was ever said outloud. That Poyraz could say "I love you" and Haziran could say it right back, no hesitation, speaks volumes to where they are both individually and as a couple.

Perhaps what's been the most refreshing is them communicating, constantly. When these two fight, they share their issues, their anger, their irritation, and then they work through it. The way they talk through their issues, every time, is honestly stunning for how completely refreshing it is. When they get mad at each other, they don't act like everything is fine while actively treating the other like crap--they explain the reasons behind their anger/irritation, they listen, they talk. The scene this episode of their banter after their fight on the first date was incredibly refreshing--bc it wasn't actually fighting. Haz was upset bc Poyraz ruined their first date--which he acknowledges, apologizes for, and then makes up to her, and she accepts. Their playful flirting in the kitchen the next day is just that--fun and playful and both of them are in on it. It's not Haz treating him like shit under the guise of "comedy", it's not him purposely being an obnoxious pain in the ass. It's them being cute and flirty and light after their fight the night before, which they already solved with a text conversation.

What I love most about their relationship is that I buy it. Completely. These are two people who aren't going to run when things get tough, who aren't going to play coy about their feelings, who aren't going to fight just to fight. We've seen them be honest and straightforward in their feelings, good, bad or otherwise. We've seen them fight for each other and their relationship. We've seen them encounter problems (whether in their relationship or in life) and work through them, together. And perhaps the greatest part of their relationship is that they allow each other to be exactly who they are. They are both allowed to feel the things they feel, and the other lets them. They are given a safe space to be themselves, and to know that they will always have the support and love of the other person, no matter what.

I said I thought this show was about love, at it's core, and all the ways love manifests, and I still think that's true. But I think this show is also about happiness--and about the idea that we can't always know exactly what is going to make us happy. True happiness can't always be predicted--what you think might make you happy isn't always what actually does, and sometimes that's a hard thing to accept. All of the characters on this show have a view of the world and what will bring them joy, and one by one I think we are seeing that change. Sometimes what makes you happy is the thing you didn't expect.

This show is hardly perfect. It's a dizi, and it has it's flaws. And without knowing how long it's set to run, the chances of it losing focus is not an impossibility. But this show continues to delight and surprise--from introducing new characters like Batu who are far more than they appear, to continuing to keep us guessing with old ones, I think AM has the chance to be a romcom people remember as being special. I'm hoping right now for between 20-25 episodes, which would allow us to explore their island and it's story in the detail I think it deserves, without leaving too much room for nonsense to creep in.

I think I'll leave this here for now--sometimes a show is more than it seems, and sometimes a show is exactly what it seems. AM is both and neither, and I'd be willing to argue that it's the summer's best. The focus in the diziworld seems to be entirely on the summer's other two romcoms, but AM stays quietly getting better by the week. I look forward to what these writers have in store for us in the weeks to come!

#ada masalı #ayça ayşin turan #alp navruz #djem watches dizis #seriously if you aren't watching this show pls do #its a feel good happy show #thats well written and fun #an honestly seems to be on an upward trajectory #in terms of getting better and better

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softestsaddestbitch · 3 years

Text

December TC Challenge

stole this from @elder-edda (sorry for creeping! just, given the usual demographic of the tc community I was excited to find another 20-smthg)

1) what color is your tc’s hair?

He has just, simple brown hair but he’s starting to go grey which, no lie, is 100% doing it for me.

2) is your tc married?

Yes? He doesn’t wear a ring and I believe she kept her last name which makes me think it’s more of a civil partnership since they’ve been together since the early 2000s at least. But he also will refer to her as “my wife” and was telling me once that they waited until “after they got married” before moving in together.

3) if yes, do you care? would you do something with them regardless of their marriage?

I know these questions are general but I do take offense at the idea of being a homewrecker/other woman. I’ve met his wife, she’s really nice.

4) what’s your worst memory with your tc?

I put my foot in my mouth SO OFTEN. Good lord. Especially my last semester at that school? He was acting weird and I had just realized after fucking ... four years?? that I romantically liked him. So I kept bringing up my weird age fixation and other bs bc I have adhd and am possibly autistic?? and can’t read a room to save my life.

5) what’s your best memory with your tc?

One year we had a really bad snowstorm, so bad in fact that I had my first-ever snow day. The college that I used to go to has four campuses across as many cities, and C has to drive in twice a week to my (old) town from his. Now, morning classes had been canceled but afternoon classes had been given the go-ahead. C, who does not check his emails until he arrives at campus, evidently did not get this message until he was already in town and therefore didn’t have a morning class, but did have an afternoon class. On this day I had a late morning class that had been reinstated, but my prof didn’t get that memo so I also was on campus but didn’t have a class. So I went to visit his office, which I had been doing throughout the semester (I didn’t have a class with him at the time) and we just ... hung out for like 2 hours. It was so nice and one of the anecdotes he told me still haunts me lol.

sidenote: at the time, I hadn’t yet realized that I liked him, but I still went out of my way to visit him. Damn I was a dumbass.

6) does anyone in your school know how you feel?

ish? I told a classmate but in a “haha joking” kinda way. And a friend who went to that school knows. No one at my current school knows.

7) does your tc know how you feel?

I think he might? might have a lil inkling which would explain why he started acting so weird my last semester. Or at the very least was told/realized how bad it could look that he was getting so chummy w/ a student.

8) do you think there’s any chance your tc reciprocates your feelings?

He and his wife have been together for around 20 years now. No. No, I don’t think so. Maybe in an alternate universe.

9) are you getting your tc a christmas present? if so, what is it?

I have in the past! Specifically like, a tin of cookies lol. I’ve also given him an actual present when I left. I do intend to send him a Christmas card every year but not this year because ... you know ... the apocalypse.

10) have you ever flirted with your tc?

Flirtation inherently has intent. So, no. How he interpreted our interactions I don’t know.

11) how long have you had a crush on them? what began it all?

SO! TIMELINE!

I was at my old school from September 2014-April 2019, I had C for the first time in September 2015. Like I mentioned above, I did not realize I had a crush on him until literally the middle of my final exam of my class with him December 2018, so I’ve only consciously had a crush for about two years now. However, as I also mentioned, I went out of my way to stop by his office, even when I didn’t have a class with him. And my relationship with/feelings towards him are complicated so I’m not going to say I did so solely because I like him, but I would put it maybe closer to somewhere in 2017. You don’t plan your schedule around someone you don’t feel strong feelings for.

12) do you believe you’ll get over them shortly after you stop taking their class/have the chance to spend time with them?

As of today, it has been been exactly a year and a half since I last him in person. In the time since, I have cried over missing him, routinely gone back to keep up with his current research projects, and made his picture a part of my home screen. I almost exclusively listen to the playlist I made for him - so much so my Spotify Wrapped is pretty much that playlist with a few extras.

13) what kind of grades do you get in their class?

Haaaaaa pre-supension I was failing his classes. My first semester back I got .... a mid/high 70? and I finished my last class with him with an A+ and the essay I had written for his class had the highest grade between the two classes so..

14) does your tc ever do any tiny, little things that you adore?

When he puts a hand in his pocket and leans against the wall. When he tucks his hair behind his ear because he keeps falling in his face (he has long hair, a little past his shoulders). When he can’t stop himself from googling something even if its in the middle of class. How you can ask him anything at any time. The way he would chuckle at my jokes. How his handwriting hasn’t improved in decades. How easily he brushes off toxic masculinity. His candidness and willingness to share little anecdotes. The way he used to always smile whenever he saw me. That he goes home everyday to have lunch with his wife.

15) are you their favorite student?

I was! And it was obvious to other students that we had a friendly, casual relationship too. For a time, if his other students had questions about him they would ask me, and I usually had the answer. I didn’t matter in the long run, but I was.

16) do you two share any tastes? movies, books, music, etc.

He’s a legal historian, I’m a baby legal/political historian. We also like the same historical cooking youtube channel.

17) is your teacher religious?

I doubt he would say he’s religious, but I feel like we have a similar relationship to religion which is to say no formal association, but had profound effects on our childhoods and subsequently, presumably, how we view things as adults.

18) do you masturbate to them?

Yes.

19) do you communicate with them outside of school?

I sent him a meme once. And asked about the socialist uprising scandal he was apart of. I also almost emailed him while at a museum exhibition with my history friend. These are all through email.

20) do you have any tc songs or songs you relate to your tc? what are they?

SO my number one song this year was “You are the Reason” by Calum Scott because, you guessed it, of him. But also:

I Lost a Friend - Finneas When You’re Ready - Shawn Mendes You Are in Love - Taylor Swift Break My Heart Right - James

& given the season, especially w/ what transpired last year, Last Christmas by Wham!

21) what’s your favorite thing your tc has said/memory you have with them?

One time he kinda trailed off in the middle of lecture after stating that he thought of xyz a particular way which contrasted one of the popular schools of thought, and the way he plainly said, “well, yeah, which I guess ... is I’m arguing it” almost like he was semi-surprised with himself has always stuck with me.

But also, in addition the memory I shared earlier, we spent an hour and a half talking about grad school and what to expect and how to get there.

22) do you plan to continue a relationship with them after you leave school?

I trid, I really did. But he doesn’t “socialize with students part or present” so I can’t exactly see him. But I did get some academic-related from him at the beginning of the year.

23) how will you deal during the summer? will you see him/her?

He’s a hermit who used my last vacation before I moved to go on all the vacations he had to postpone because he was working on his last book. And this past summer ... Covid. This question is obviously directed at high school students, but in general, he lives in the back of head always, and when I’m in my hometown for the summer my heart aches because theres a none-zero chance I’ll see him, but I know I won’t.

24) does your tc support gay rights?

Yes. He’s never been put in a position that I know of where he had to outright condemn homophobia, but in one of his classes, he actively made the choice to make the very first reading of the semester about how women in ancient times had more agency than assumed, and also how the woman in the case study was a lesbian.

25) what class do you have with them? And what period? Do you have them every day?

History classes. I won’t get into specifics because it’s kind of an eclectic mix and I’m paranoid someone from the area could come across this. But I had him twice a week every semester that I had him. Again this kind of question is more so applicable to high school students, not so much university students.

26) have you ever drifted out during a lecture thinking about them and missed information?

No. In his classes he is too enthralling, and I’m a good student otherwise.

27) have you stalked them online? what did you find out?

In theory. He’s a fifty-year-old history professor whose reaction to a description of the big lipped/tiny face filter on snapchat was “that sounds disgusting.” The man doesn’t have social media, and if he does those privacy settings are on so students can’t find him he thinks he’s very professional. I do visit his mini-bio section on the college website fairly often tho.

28) have you ever run into them outside of schools? what happened?

I did once. He introduced me to his wife, who said “oh you’re E! C has talked about you” and it apparently he had done so positively, and blew my mind because this was back when I was failing classes and also, as a person, I don’t believe that people think about me when I’m not there. They gave me a restaurant recommendation and afterwards his wife surprised me a they were leaving the restaurant because ... we had listened to them, and they also went there for lunch that day.

29) has your tc ever spoken of teacher-student relationships? what did they say?

It had recently come out that it had been found out that another professor had been in a relationship with a student and he’s the one that brought it up before class one day (with all of us not just me). He didn’t say anything for or against it, just that it was generally discouraged, but that most schools did have policies in place to handle the situation.

30) do you regret telling anyone about your tc? if you’ve kept it a secret, why have you done so?

Absolutely not. I can’t tell my best friends because they’d do nothing but give me shit for it and it would call every time I mention him into question. But the friends that I have told ... its been so freeing, and like a weight has been lifted from my heart. One friend in particular I unloaded on her all my emotional shit pertaining to him this past summer and she was so understanding it legit since then I’ve been less distraught when thinking about him. It still hurts, but it feels less like I’m suffocating now.

#personal #professor crush #professor crush community #teacher crush #monthly challenge #december

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lunarrwolf · 4 years

Text

black butterflies [colby brock]

fandom: sam and colby/traphouse

pairing: colby x self

word count: 2,209

part(s): one two three

summary: after a prank gone wrong, colby and his friends meet another youtuber during her meet and greet in hopes it will cheer her up

A/N: this is a self-insert because it’s a fic that was started for my own personal pleasure. it was supposed to be shared last year on my fan account after a poll was done but never was bc i ended up not feeling ready to do so. i figured since i‘m ready to share it now, it would be best to do it here since it’s pretty detailed

THREE

By the time the pair reached their hotel on the west coast, the sky was significantly brighter than back home. While she loved the city that she frequently visited, she had to admit when the airplane reached its destination that Boston did not compare to the view that graced her. Palm trees, beaches and sunny skies greeted the two friends as they descended toward the runway of LAX that afternoon. Even the drive to the west coast Marriott location was a sight for sore eyes as the scenery blurred by with dozens of people walking the sidewalks and hundreds of restaurants and stores lining the street. Aiden won the competition of who could connect their music to the car’s stereo the fastest, playing indie music the whole ride. When they actually checked into the building, the walk and elevator ride consisted of a playful argument about who was going to get which bed. That was figured out quickly as Kirsy set her stuff on the floor of the shared room before throwing herself on the one next to the window.

After settling and calming themselves down, the close friends talked about what they could do first. However, she wasn’t feeling up to exploring right away. They’d only landed the night before and were now three hours behind their usual time. Jet lag wasn’t really at play since the difference didn’t mean much to someone who rarely slept anyway, but exhaustion was another thing entirely. The whole early morning was spent laying underneath the sheets

“You can’t lay here all day.”

“I beg to differ.” She rolled on her stomach from facing the ceiling, coming eye to eye with the rising musician. His hands were placed on his waist as he stared you down, to which she paid no mind because that was just how their relationship worked. “I just want to lay here in a room with an air conditioner and fantasize about people who don’t know I exist.”

Knowing exactly who she meant, Aiden raised an eyebrow, shifting his weight on one leg as he raised an eyebrow at her. “Please - that’s a cliche story that isn’t going to get you out of today’s plans.” The older of the two placed himself against the bed across from her, taking his hat off of his head to chuck it at the girl’s face. She let out a whine, sending him a glare that would send a fraction of shivers going on anyone else’s spine. The bemusement on the young man’s face was clear as day; they were in a busy city with long beaches and awe-striking sights and all she wanted to do was mope around on her phone.

He was going to have none of it.

It didn’t matter that one of their companions quit on them and the channel - this trip was about moving on, starting new chapters and showing everyone that she wasn’t as devastated as she made herself look on camera the other day. While he hadn’t known her as long, they were almost inseparable, and watching her delve into the nerves of walking around without the redhead was something he never thought he’d see. His friend needed someone to slap her out of this misery and drag her back into the world she lived in now; one of adventure and expanding the lack of social horizons. “Get your ass up, we’re going out.”

“What-” She glanced over at him, exasperation in her tone. “We landed in the state twelve hours ago. What exactly do you want to do at this hour?”

“It’s what I don’t want to do, and that’s be stuck in here until we have the meet and greet. Which is in a few hours,” he reminded her. He crossed the small room to fish the room key out of the side of his bag, glancing back to find her sitting up with a neutral expression on her face. He side swept her copy of the card onto the bed he gained in the race to the shared room, “Your body knows nothing about being put to rest for more than five hours. I’m sure it doesn’t register that you’ve changed time zones, so you have enough energy to be proactive.”

Kirsy stared at her friend blankly, shoving her hands in the pocket of her hoodie. She peeked down at the white and green piece of plastic sitting on the comforter, tempting her to join in on exploring the city. Which is what she should be doing, anyway.

For years, her mind had been plagued in the best way possible with dreams and manifestations of how her life would be if she was ever able to afford residency in California. The sandy beaches, clear skies, endless list of activities and shops, and modern beauty of such a popular location always drew her in. The plan was to save up and find a place with Casey, so ensuing on a trip that her eccentric friend insisted on doubling as an apartment search was tough for her. She got over situations very quickly - the events that unfolded about one week before were already shoved in the back of her mind as unnecessary but moral filled fog. People were harder to be rid of in the recesses. If someone was dear to her, she could live on as if they weren’t, though it wouldn’t be the case on the inside. Going out and enjoying herself didn’t sit right with the part of her that was stuck with the friendship that had a questionable ending.

The young adult kept an eye on the twenty-two year old as she seemed to be contemplating what she was going to do. He was going to drag her out to the elevator and out the doors either way. Still, it would be much more enjoyable of a break from reality if she was one hundred willing to partake in the adventure.

“How long are we staying again?” She looked up, meeting his gaze.

“I think four days. Unless we find a place, then we agreed to stay longer to sort everything out.”

“Okay.” With a defeated sigh she picked up the key and turned around to grab the small backpack she was able to carry on the flight over. Making her way to where Aiden patiently stood, she placed a small hand on his shoulder. “Let’s go find you a boyfriend, then.”

He shook his head, letting out an exasperated sigh that only received a grin in response before they opened the door.

“I’m pretty sure this counts as stalking.” The brunette looked over the shorter figure, giving him a look that the slightly older male dismissed with a gesture of surrender. “All I’m saying is that checking her story is a step above what a normal person would do.”

“You’re not normal.” He retorted, his previously blonde friend agreeing with no problem.

“I would hope not,” Sam exclaimed, putting his hands in the pockets of his denim jacket as he smiled at his exasperated friend, “it’s kind of my whole brand.”

Colby couldn’t come up with a clever comeback. Since seeing that the vlogger and streamer had landed, he’d been dragging his friends around the local spots of Downtown Los Angeles. The anxiety that riddled him was as much of a positive aspect as it could have been - it matched the feeling their subscribers and community members would react at their own chances of meeting the group of four boys and the girlfriends of three of them. He knew how much he was acting out of character, and yet he didn’t care. Both parties had been admiring the other for months at a time without notice. Well, he noticed hers because everything she had came from the makings of a fan account she created for him and his friends. The lack of responses and her comments and work being drowned out by the millions of other fans gave her the impression that he never saw her past being another face, even after her own social media standing took off.

Taking the past three years into consideration benefited both ends of this infatuation. After proving successful in her journey when able to attend a convention the year before, she hoped having the platform would bring more attention to her rising brand so she could get the chance to embarrass herself in person.

It was the opposite for Colby.

All he’d wanted since realizing he was starting to experience the way a lot of fans felt towards any member of the housemates was a chance to meet her face to face. Maybe the way she affected him was because her own emotions manifested onto him whenever he skimmed a caption on one of her editing account’s uploads or read some of the posts she would put up on social media about him. Surely that was the explanation for all of this.

Everyone knew he was tired of trying to find the person he was meant to be with in girls from the Bay Area. No one he’d ever been attracted to or tried to start a relationship with in his years of living here had shown potential. Los Angeles was a palace for people who did a lot of stunts and acted a certain way to get where they wanted to go in life, and that included who they would get involved with. It became too hard too quickly for him to figure out the intentions of the few he tried to get to know romantically, and so he gave up on dating in this part of the country. Part of him did anticipate that if it wasn’t going to be someone he would see on the internet or the feed of any social media accounts, it would be someone from the family they’d all built over time. It would be a girl that’s watched their videos and been with them for a while and knew the guys well enough just by observing and enjoying the content they were given. It was nerve racking to think that the person he should really be with was a fan, as they would all categorize themselves as. So since he started being the one to keep an eye out for announcements and new content when it came to Kirsy, it wasn’t that he didn’t want to believe it - he just couldn’t.

How would this girl who proclaimed herself a fangirl half the time - a girl who photoshopped images, created videos and made storylines for everyone to read - possibly be the one who took his heart and made it beat such a way? It just didn’t make sense.

Yet here he was, blindly following her updates along with any other local subscriber of hers to see if she would be going anywhere he could bump into her, his friends following along because they knew what was going on and wanted to be there for support. Having known him since they were in their early teenage years, Sam had every inch of how his best friend reacted to liking someone planted in his brain. He mapped out the stages in his head when Colby started talking about the ‘new YouTuber that looked familiar and he could have sworn she went to their tour or passed by them at an event’. When those stages started to ring true, he filled in their other roommates who started to notice the constant mention of her name as well. They’ve all been there for him, hoping that he would just admit he fell for someone he’d never personally met or spoken to before.

One of the taller members of the foursome looked between the more sane companions, wanting to help their friend keep the confidence they all knew he had. “We should invite her and her friend to the Love For Hire party this weekend. She’s going to be here around then, right?”

Colby brought his attention to Jake, his curiosity peaking at the mention of their new boyband. They all met their girlfriends at parties, didn’t they? At least - that’s the way it was perceived in his head when the moments began to blur together. It seemed the connections for all of them were made when they all met the nights of, and that’s what he wanted. Perhaps the fact that the trio of couples all met for the first time at one of the Traphouse’s parties made him much more superstitious than he wanted or expected to be. Going to a small event meant for local fans of another content creator and using it to meet her himself right before they all invited her to their house for a party? How much of an ideal was that?

The more he thought about it as they walked down the sidewalks beside the beach, the more ridiculous he sounded. So what if this wasn’t an ideal situation? If whatever it was he felt was genuinely reciprocated, then he would approach it head on and take the risk of wooing someone from his creator community. If not, then he would have to learn to deal with that.

Although, something told him that all of this overwhelming emotion would be worth it.

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sweetandsavageautistic · 4 years

Text

Who’s ready to lose more braincells thanks to Twitter? (CW: Pedophilia mention)

"I'm Alive Because of YOU!"

The Innocence of an adult with autism and his BFF Lost & Found EMMY ;)

Love You, Love You My Boo Bear

Mommyand (aka) #SMAARTMom

Meet My son Dustin & My Inspiration for Creating the Autism Welcomed Decal Symbol

Oh, decedents of men she loved/trusted... what a great idea!

To me, there's just something about what the innocence of a child would bring to that kind of a role. Or even a high functioning teen or adult with autism...

#WritingCommunity

Lauren, as a mother of an angel with disabilities, I would like articles about parents and adults with #Autism who share success stories. What makes a positive outcome?

Son went out with his grandad today amazing how are kids adults with #autism behave like angels for there grandparents lol.

As the parent of an adult child with autism I always tell young parents to never underestimate their child Our children CAN They are true angels sent to us by God

I worked as a parapro for three years and have seen people on every part of the spectrum- the way he spoke and carried himself should NOT influence anyone’s decision on their theory of his guilt or innocence. His demeanor is very typical of someone with high-functioning autism.

One thing I know about people with Aspergers is, they dont lie, they are often shy at 1st, but once they know you, they arent the type you ask "does my butt look big in this" coz they'll tell you outright that if does with such innocence & charm.

The innocence of people with autism is truly incomparable, it's their raw emotion that's sets them apart from the rest of the world.

@realDonaldTrump

hope you can meet Ganesh. #helpganeshmeettrump

Brother godbless ur boy.His curiosity is apparent and his calmness is heartwarming to see he realizes this isn’t going to hurt us.Autism holds a special place in my heart for my niece is also Autistic and any child,I see an innocence about them that makes me smile.Good job dad

You’re not alone , we autism moms are in this together and know exactly the heartbreak you are feeling

give it time and a lot of therapy Jenny, things will get better !! Just remember that his innocence is soo pure that he’s an angel here on earth for you

Not just autism but any diagnosis/disability. My saying is "do not look at my child w/ different eyes when u see him do something that's considered out of d norm" & also "don't break away his spirit because he can still see the Innocence in life better than you" -Margarita Rubio

Same here brother. My youngest son is autistic and I cant imagine how anyone..especially a "father" could do something like this My son has random seizures and everyone of them rips my heart out Autistic children have more heart & love than anyone on earth Innocence of autism

The ABC series "Love on the Spectrum" was / is a beautiful uplifting and inspiring work. The wonderful openness, hopefulness and general innocence of the autistic folk is a lesson for everyone. Love for everyone has challenges. I hope people don't use autism to express contempt

I love being around people with Autism. They radiate pure energy and innocence.

My son has autism and he is just beautiful in his innocence, thank you very much!!! He does not have black coal for a heart and not beholden to Satan

When Quamaine helped me with the snow shoveling. He was happy to help. I adore him and his innocence. I hope he knows that. #adultwithautism #autism #adultoconaitismo #autismo #quamaine #autismaunt #snow

Mothers of children with autism know their kids intimately because they cannot leave them with anyone. They protect their kids fiercely, because they are vulnerable due to their innocence

Sarah's effective portrayal of an autistic role clearly depicted the charm, candidness, innocence and frolicsome attitude of people with autism.

Autism. A neurological condition where purity and innocence collide to form an abstract masterpiece.

THE REAL CHAMPIONS IN THIS WORLD ARE CHILDREN LIKE KAYLENE. WITH AUTISM SPECIAL NEEDS & CHILDREN FIGHTING CANCER SO MUCH MORE LOOK AT HER SMILE SO INNOCENT

The people with autism can understand a lot of things very clearly. Autistic children tend not trust adult humans becoz for them they are constantly in movement which doesn’t allow things to sync with them. BTW they are fantastic human beings with a child like pure heart.

People with autism are the most perfect human beings on the planet to me bc they don’t bother a soul or hurt anybody an is purely innocent 💯‼️❤️

I have a soft spot for people with Autism. We aren’t worthy of their creativity, intelligence and innocence

I love being around people with Autism. They radiate pure energy and innocence.

Thank you

God bless you too!

I believe people with autism are special gifts and their purity cannt be denied]

I’ve been the happiest in my life being around people with autism. If you don’t have a friend, brother, or neighbor like them you truly haven’t experience the purity in life.

People with down syndrome, autism, etc, arent capable of hate, malice, greed, intolerance, etc. They exhibit all the things that those of us "normal" people try to be but cant. They're not equipped to be evil. They can only show purity.

I dont know, that's my take on it.

By living with people with autism, we are be able to regain the purity

True, but at the same time these aren't necessarily different things: pedophilia, anti-pedophilia & dumb-girl-philia can stem from one & the same mental trait, i.e. the idealization of childlike Innocence; which in turn is arguably a form of autism: other people can't have minds.

#Undateables #TheUndateables I adore this show. The pure honesty love and kindness of these beautiful souls blows me away

. Their innocence and hopeful view of this world is something that could teach many. Appreciate what you have

#autism #specialneeds #learningdisability

Which film? I love the innocence of kids. Every day my kids say it as it is and their attitude keeps me so grounded. We could all learn a lot from autism x

This sickens me 2 the core.Trump started this he is to blame. We are one let us not forget this. We need 2 learn again from our young who see no difference. My son with autism never sees any difference. Such innocence. The world will not change him .He listens to me I accept all

My son who has been diagnosed with #autism loves painting.He is lifting my spirits with his joy 4 his work he has done.Some he started this week & finished. R #Hamilton #Ticat #Football colors. Love the innocence its so grounding 4 me. Blessings 4 all you are doing

Pope john paul the second said children with autism were closer to god than any other. They have a innocence about them. We should take notice and learn from there how love and live

And now, some tweets from people who think Greta Thunberg is being exploited just because she's so passionate about stopping climate change:

If This Little Girl GRETA really has AUTISM How Terrible Easy For Adults To Manipulat Her IT IS A PARENTS JOB TO PROTECT THE INNOCENCE OF OUR CHILDREN IM SO ASHAMED AND SO SHOULD THE CLIMATE CHANGE COMMUNITY GOD FORGIVE HER PARENTS. THEY KNOW NOT WHAT THE DO

Democrats like John Kerry are using an innocent little girl with autism to feign innocence while the Democrats just voted to spend 738 billion dollars on environmental destruction. How ridiculous.

That's a good argument? Because it's what SHE *wants* to do? She is a child who does not yet fully grasp the perils of public life or climatology. She's also a child diagnosed on the autism spectrum. She deserves privacy and protection of her innocence. It will end poorly.

I've started to suspect she was selected for this job because of her autism. She can play innocence whenever someone publicly calls her out for the childish nonsense that comes out of her.

Greta is a 16-yr-old kid with autism who is being used by her parents & the crazy adults around her as a political pawn. She's not a savior. She's a kid who is having her innocence and anonymity stripped from her by a**holes pushing their stupid climate change crap.

I think she is being used. The fact that she has an Autism Spectrum Condition should be respected. She is very articulate and very focused partly because she is Greta and partly because she is autistic, but she also has the innocence of a teenager and someone with an ASD.

#climate change is real karen #autism innocence bullshit #autism #autistic #actuallyautistic #actually autistic #sweet and savage autistic

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startofamoment · 5 years

Text

to all the WIPs i’ve loved before

rules: post your favorite parts of 3-5 fics that have been sitting abandoned in your drafts for ages. (for extra shame, throw in when you last worked on each thing.) tag 5 other writers to reflect on their life choices.

a pen pals au of sorts in which jake and amy share a desk and communicate via post-it notes (last edited: december 2017)

Amy is going to murder her deskmate.

The literal trash heap that greeted her last Monday was one thing, the sticky orange soda stain from last month was another thing, but this – this blatant disregard of property and boundaries and the sanctity of office supplies – is the Last Straw.

Spread out across her entire desk is a good fourth of the Post-it notes from the brand new assorted set she got from her brother Tony. They’re all arranged to look like various Star Wars icons, and a few of them are filled in with marker for apparent color correction. It’s horrifying.

Grumbling, she begins taking apart Post-It Yoda, keeping the salvageable pieces in a stack and throwing out the rest. When she’s cleared her entire table, she grabs her favorite pen and a fresh sheet then writes:

Hi, Please refrain from wasting my Post-its in the future. Thank you. - Det. Amy Santiago

She stares at it for a moment and decides, since this is probably the only passive aggressive note she’s going to write her deskmate, she might as well add:

PS: I would appreciate it if you would leave our desk clean at the end of your weekend shifts.

After checking it over once more, she places it in the center of her desk, ready to be read the following Saturday.

a dianetti cake shop au in which rosa owns and runs a store called arlo’s (last edited: june 2017)

Gina takes a moment to look over some of the cakes on display before clearing her throat and leaning over the counter. “’Scuse me, can you help me get a custom cake order started?”

“Sure.” The baker wipes her hands on a dish towel before grabbing a small notebook and pen from one of her pockets. “What’s the occasion?”

“Some old geezer’s leaving our precinct to enjoy retired life, or something like that.”

“Retirement party? Cool. Tell me about this guy.”

“Oh, sweetie, I don’t know or care about him. I’m just here cause my boss told me to order a cake.”

A smirk forms on the baker’s lips. “Ha. Do you wanna just do a standard cake order then? I usually do the custom cakes for more personalized, special events.”

“That’s probably smart. Which one of your standard cakes say: ‘Congrats on being old and rich enough to never work another day in your life, but sorry you’re almost dead’?”

She snickers. “I don’t know about that first part, but how ‘bout an angel food cake as a ‘hope you go to heaven when you die’ sort of thing?”

Gina grins and fishes through her purse for her wallet. “Oh, you should know my expectations on this cake are out of this world high. I’m only here because Yelp told me you’re the Beyonce of baking.” (Actually, she’s here because at least three reviews claimed the baker-slash-owner was “terrifying” and “gorgeous.” – They were right, on both accounts.)

a sequel to i could listen to you all day // the “after ever after” story in which jake and amy navigate their first year together as soulmates (last edited: march 2017)

Jake’s phone buzzed on his desk, breaking him out of his happy daydream. He picked it up and opened a new message from Gina.

“god, quit making heart eyes at the new girl!! your conscience would be v disappointed, kiddo.”

Gina, who had been watching him like a hawk from her desk, expected him to get all flustered and to text or yell back something overly defensive. She raised a single eyebrow when his face instead broke into a goofy grin and he straight up giggled.

Across from him, Amy looked up from her case files. “What’s so funny?”

He shook his head and mumbled something about memes and the internet.

She rolled her eyes, but the corners of her lips curled up into a smile. After he redirected his attention to his computer screen, her expression morphed into the same openly adoring look he had on his face the entire morning.

And then it all clicked.

If Gina had stopped to think about it, she would have recognized the new disappointment she felt in both herself (for taking this long to put two and two together) and her childhood best friend (for not keeping her in the loop). As she had not stopped to process anything, she instead yelled across the bullpen: “OH MY GOD. JAKE AND AMY ARE SOULMATES!”

All work stopped, and everyone fell silent. For a good minute, all that could be heard was the faint snoring from Captain McGintley’s office.

“Gina,” Rosa half-snarled, half-whispered. “You can’t just say that.”

“Oops, my b. Y’all know I have no conscience now so…” She giggled, winked at the leather-clad detective, and went back to her game of Kwazy Cupcakes.

Jake let out an awkward laugh. “Well, uh, that was -”

Out of nowhere, Charles appeared right in front of their desks. “Is it true, Jakey? Was Amy the voice in your head all this time?”

“I -” He glanced at Amy for help.

She bit her lip and shrugged.

This wasn’t at all how he envisioned making the announcement, but there was no use denying it. Still looking straight at her, his face softened into a smile. “Yeah… We’re soulmates.”

Charles squealed loudly. “You said the S word! Does that mean it’s official?” He gasped. “Have you said ‘I love you’? Have you met each other’s parents? When’s the wedding? What are you naming your first child?”

pretty much a crack fic inspired by the media’s post-olympics obsession with tessa and scott // my spin on a vm au bc i still refuse to write jake and amy as ice dancers (last edited: may 2018)

Like many of the other bizarre situations he’s found himself in, this all started with Gina. Over the last year or so, she’d been posting random photos and videos of all of them at the precinct. (“I’m devoting my energy to my new project, Ginazon,” she’d declared to the entire bullpen. “It’s a one-stop online portal for my legions of followers. I’m just giving the people what they want!”) Given that this was Gina of all people, Jake wasn’t at all surprised to find out that each post garnered hundreds of likes, but he’d never bothered to venture into the comments section. He’d never known about the apparent niche following that had formed, the group of fans – for lack of a better word – waiting with bated breath for him and Amy to get together.

Charles had only spurred them on, what with all the various Easter eggs on his culinary blog. (“This place has everything,” he’d written once. “My co-workers Jake and Amy even gave it their stamp of approval after they’d shared a quick lunch there before a long stakeout. Make sure to ask for the winter salsa; it’s wonderful!”) He’d sworn that none of it was intentional and that he would never do anything to sell them out, but everything he’d written had still been catalogued and analyzed by the pseudo-experts of the fandom. At this point, Jake’s main regret is not reading Charles’ weekly email blasts.

Their downfall – or rise to viral glory – came when someone from the so-called G-Hive happened to be in just the right place at just the right time, catching their (second) completely-platonic, spur-of-the-moment, done-in-the-name-of-justice kiss on camera. By the next morning, “Undercover Cops Lock Lips Before Locking Up Wanted Criminal” had been viewed on YouTube over a million times.

With everything about the entire situation already being so weird, they’d decided to just ignore their newfound fame in the same way they’d pretended the kisses never happened. (“We’re a great team. We work great together. Nothing should mess that up,” he’d said, repeating nearly his exact words from the night before.)

Evidently, there was no escaping this though. A formal press conference was set up, which wasn’t too out of the ordinary for cases that caught the general public’s attention, except they’d ended up having to say more about their dating lives than the investigation or arrest. He can still feel his heart lurching in his chest at the first relationship-related question, still hear Amy loudly stammering out some vague answer about being “very professional.”

a smutty soulmate au in which jake and amy unknowingly share dreams every now and then (last edited: november 2017)

At this moment in time, Amy Santiago is undeniably, incomparably, drop dead gorgeous.

More specifically: she’s in the hot red dress Kylie convinced her to buy on their last post-trivia night celebratory shopping spree; she’s wearing a matching killer shade of lipstick picked out by her fashion-forward, shockingly sexual 13-year-old niece; and she’s got her hair swept into that one elegant yet fun side ponytail that caught her eye in a magazine a few weeks back.

Normally, she’d be proud of herself for managing to pull off such a look, except–

It’s been a good several hours since she tossed her dress into the hamper, wiped the makeup off her face, and tugged the elastic tie from her hair. She’d buried her head into her pillow and wheeze-cried herself to sleep shortly after changing into her pajamas, so overwhelmed with shame and disappointment over the night’s party-gone-wrong.

The thick haze shrouding her current surroundings tells her she’s in another one of her soulmate’s dreams, which helps a tiny bit in explaining her current appearance but really opens up more questions than answers.

tagging: @santiagoswagger @three-drink-amy @do-me-decimalsystem @arnie-santiago @sergeant-santiago

for the record, this was inspired by @disruptedvice and @elsaclack’s responses [x,x] to the writing meme!! i thought it was super clever of them to feature little snippets from various works and felt this would be a good way to give unfinished/abandoned fics some love!

#writing meme #wip meme #tag game #b99 au #i'm honestly shookt at the last edit dates on these #why am i like this #ngl i just wanted an excuse to post some of these bc i'm fairly certain they won't ever be finished RIP #if anyone else wants to do this pls feel free!!!#my stuff

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worstfruit · 5 years

Text

BEASTMASTER

playing with names. zh'ang, bastardization of the romanization OF a translation meaning warsong, but i was just trying to find something that could sound gith so that doesnt really matter! he never goes by this tho, as his subordinates just call him master, sir, or boss. i think he would be very private about his life before joining a company (one i havent plotted out yet, though i like the idea of whatever mercenary crew he’s apart of following the idea of using assigned nicknames or titles in place of true names, even amongst the non-magic users, just for their safety or rather the integrity of the company so that their private information can’t easily be used against them).

yiz'shi, same bastard deal, this time im thinking beastmaster could be something he gained before joining a company and he just translated it to common. im not sure if the gith would have a need of surnames. i assume they’d be like uh ‘conan the brave’ or whatever, a sort of similar idea i’ve establish for my goblins where their surnames are based on trade and can changed based off merit, and their first names are given after a personality begins to appear. i think gith may be given names, then a ‘the brave’ or ‘unholy’ may follow depending on how they choose to live their life.

zizshangi --> yizshangi --> some sort of mix between warsong/beastmaster. perhaps his true name is obscured and not even his minions know it!

im thinking he will be a shadow monk who uses his telepathy to rise in the ranks! i dont like multiclassing but i also really want to incorporate aspects of a whisper bard into this character or at least one of his underlings. i think after coming out of slavery under some mindflayers, he joins the company that frees him and starts using his monk training from the astral plane to...not convert, but to translate into the way of shadows. he would recruit the help of those who others overlook, such as kenku, kobolds, gnolls, and goblins. he’s very quiet, very observant, wears a mask often and even when he doesn’t he pretty much as a complete poker face. He chooses his words carefully but does relax around those he knows/trusts, and has a sort of dry sense of humor. Despite his psionic abiliities he’s sort of like, an idiot socially and can’t actually read people all that well. he relies on his extrasensory input and Maud (explained below) to navigate relations mostly. I’m not too sure what he looks like yet! I do want him to have the sort of vaguely asianic features a lot of githzerai have however, and i have a monk outfit in mind based off some Absolver outfits. He’s worked his way up in company rank enough to become a sort of espionage expert within the troops! This has earned the ire of some other company members, but for the most part i think this mercenary group would be pretty civil and view each other as respected associates and comrades.

His main crew consists of two kenu, two goblins, and a tabaxi. He’s known the tabaxi longest-- im thinking she was also an underling in the company who helped him get back on his feet when they picked him up. She was a teen looking to hone her skills as a rogue and he helped her learn the art of stepping lightly and always keeping an ear to the ground. Looking at tabaxi names I’m thinking she probably has some dumbass one like ‘quick of paw’ but they just started calling her Maraud, which turned into Maud LOL. She’s all black and has short, sleek, shiny fur, brownish/maroon irises, pointed ears and big paws with her claws usually unsheathed. She’s become a mastermind rogue who trains two (also totally black, yellow eyed) kenku twins as a thief and scout under Beastmaster’s tutelage. She’s very streetsmart and has a gravelly sort of raspy voice from years of working as a slave (able to rise as a slavemaster who was tasked with yelling orders to the other slaves and cracking the whip). She’s a bit matronly, very wry and slinky and coy, and very good with people. Typical scorpio but with a flair of aires determination and single mindedness. She’s very driven, but has the life experience to keep herself grounded and logical. She’s beastmaster’s most trusted associate and essentially the brains behind his crew, at least second to him. She’s the boss when he’s not around, but while strict, she has a HUGE softspot for her sort of adopted siblings. She gets along well enough with the rest of the company.

The two kenkus are fraternal twins, a bit younger than Maud, named Lasher (girl) and Bowstring. Lasher is the thief and Bow is the scout. They were orphaned and picked up by the company shortly before absorbing the refugees from the Mindflayer slaveship so they never really had birthnames afa the company was concerned. They speak through sign language, body language and gesture, facial expressions, and a sort of quick-hand morse code they’ve developed from both thieves cant as well as the company cant. They can’t easily speak to people outside the company, and even within the ranks they have trouble communicating without parroting, which they don’t seem to like doing unless it’s to mock someone. Their inability to speak, however, lends to their spy nature as people often underestimate their intelligence and perception. Though they can’t fly, they’re quick when racing across building tops and through tree canopy and prefer high vantage points to preform their work. Beastmaster is a very silent person who gets along well with these two, using his telepathy and patience to forge a mentor relationship with them and cultivate their infiltration and investigative skills. Lasher loves to read anything she can get her feather little fingers on, and often steals what she can’t buy. She’s not too girly but does enjoy fantasizing about the high life noble ladies lead and likes to collect trinkets she thinks represent this such as bows, perfume bottles, bits of mirror and buttons. Bowstring likes to help his sister with her plights but is much more grounded and serious. he’s dry and sardonic and takes himself a little too seriously. even for a mute, he’s very silent and a little shy and prefers to hide behind Maud or beastmaster or even Lasher. He get’s his name for his skills as a ranger, whereas lasher gets hers from her talons and tendency to use them when people get too close to her or her brother. she gets along better with the rest of the company however, and likes to be seen as cute even if she feels she’s being condescended on. she and her brother work spectacularly together, along with beastmaster and maud, and don’t mind being separated for missions or otherwise.

The two goblin (identical!) twins’ names are Fritz and Racket and they are, respectively, a storm sorcerer and a storm barbarian! obviously they’re not as subtle as the rest of the gang despite being gobs, in fact they get their nicknames from their quirks of being loud, aggressive, and favoring a sort of berserker approach to confrontation. Fritz is the caster, Racket is the muscle, and both feed off each’s other whole uh, storm bullshit. they both worship an elemental goblin deity but very very casually, it’s more of hero worship, and beastmaster sorta thinks they might have a touch of wild magic and a fixation on LOUD and FLASHY shit hence the storm kick. they’re very loyal, very brave, and only a little stupid. they both have tempers and don’t like comments about their height. very easy to bait into confrontation especially if they’re together. they’re not the kinda twins who walk together in unison and finish each other’s sentences (like the kenku twins, who similarly work off each other’s energies for their work), but they are usually together and look almost exactly alike. Fritz is a bit slimmer and taller, a bit pointier and a bit more spastic and shrill. He’s weaker than his brother but is smarter. He also has a worse temper and despite not being a melee fighter, will not hesitate to tackle anyone and just use his claws and teeth. Racket is a bit calmer but dumber, more gullible, and a lot stronger. He’s only a tad quieter than his brother but is also more physically aggressive and tends to stomp and throw shit around, hence his name. he usually follow’s frtiz’s lead if beastmaster isn’t around, but the both defer to Maud for instruction. They’re technically younger than the kenku twins if you account for the fact that goblins age quicker than kenku, they’re only slightly older! they’re more immature, however, and usually need more corralling than anyone else. unlike lasher and bow, fritz and racket dont like being seperated, but usually dont have to be since they don’t do much espionage. if they are dispatched for such tasks, it’s usually a matter of blending into busy, or sketchy environments rather than being silent and shadowy. they’re useful for intimidation, distraction, firepower, and muscle.

the last notable character i’ve cooked up is a kobold, the youngest (but again due to kobold age, its not like hes a baby technically) named Rak! he’s not very skilled in anything but he considers himself an inventor and makes really pathetic little stick contraptions that use like. shitty venoumous bugs and stink bombs LOL. i dont even know what class he’d be. no magic skills, too dumb and loud for espionage. he’s sort of a little mascot for the company and everyone treats him like a pet, but beastmaster took pity on him and lets him tag along with them. fritz and racket think hes funny and usually just throw him in a bag or like, if they have to fight, put him in a pocket till theyre done. he doesn’t get in the way too much and every now and again is a bit useful to get into super small places or to do errands like deliveries or shopping or cleaning. he got his name bc he makes a sorta RAK sound a lot when scared or startled or hurt or excited or mad. like a mouse goes EEK but he’s a stupid lizard guy so he goes RAK!

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lovelyyyoongi · 6 years

Text

“what are best friends for?”

pairing: Reader / Jungkook ft. Jimin

genre: high school!au; best friend!au; fluff / *cough* angst *cough*

length: 10.2k words

warnings: language

summary: What begins as harmless matchmaking, ends up in a jumbled mess of emotions for both you and your best friend, Jungkook.

a/n: AHHHHH THIS TOOK SOOOOO LONG ASJLSDS I THINK ABOUT A MONTH OR SO BUT I FINISHED IT FINALLY!! AND ITS LONG OOPS :))))) I hope you liked it bc i really enjoyed writing it! Give it some love pls!! [edited!!!]

“Kook, I’m just asking,” You said in a singsong voice, trailing after your best friend in the school hallway. Jungkook responded with a turn of his head and a huff, causing you to smirk. “So I’m right? You’re crushing on Soomin?”

“Keep your voice down, woman!” He shushed you and grabbed your wrist, taking you to a more secluded part of the hall.

“Why? You’re Jeon Jungkook. Doesn’t the entire female population have a crush on you?” You pointed out, crossing your arms over your chest.

“Not everyone,” Jungkook murmured while looking around for any sign of the girl you were currently talking about.

“Of course,” you scoffed to yourself with a shake of your head as a soft smile appeared on your face. Jungkook snapped his gaze back to you and raised an eyebrow as if urging you to continue. “You chase after the ones who don’t like you.”

“Well, I’m certainly not going to go for girls who just throw themselves at me. They have to have some dignity.”

You rolled your eyes at the boy before you. Jeon Jungkook: the boy at your school who just so happened to win the heart of every single girl in your grade. Hell, he probably won the heart of every girl in your entire school. And he just so happened to be your best friend since you were born.

Whenever people said his name, it was like he was famous; all the girls swooned at the sight of him while all the guys frowned in envy at the sound of his name. And you...laughed at all of them.

You never understood how someone could have so much of a fanbase from strangers. Is this what being a celebrity felt like? You often thought to yourself when he was approached by random girls you’d never seen before.

You could bet that none of Jungkook’s admirers knew a damn thing about him besides the fact that he was the captain of nearly every team at school and had a 4.0 gpa. Besides that, they probably didn’t know his favorite color.

But you? No, you knew everything there was to know about Jungkook. You grew up right next to each other...literally. It didn’t help that your mothers were best friends AND you were neighbors so, yes, you did have bath photos. Talk about cringey. You knew everything about him from favorite food to what he’d do on a Saturday evening.

You knew this boy like the back of your hand and unexpectedly from your view, no one seemed to be envious of it. Mainly because you were only his best friend; nothing more.

“Hey, I get it. But Soomin? Why her?” You tapped your chin in wonder. You and Jungkook only had a few classes with the girl so you wondered how she caught his interest.

“I’ve talked to her a few times between classes and she’s really nice and isn’t weird around me...she doesn’t, you know, treat me how everyone else does.”

“Ah, I see,” You nodded in understanding and an idea popped into your head. “Maybe I can help with that?”

Jungkook stared at the mischievous grin on your face for a few seconds before shaking his head profusely. “No, no, no. No way!”

“What? Come on, I won’t spill any of your darkest secrets like how you put pepper in the football tea–”

“Y/N!” He scolded you, looking around again. “Now I don’t trust you even more.”

“Trust me, Kook. Within a month, I’ll get this girl to like you,” You sang, turning around to go. Jungkook reached for your hand in horror but you already skipped away from him. Turning back to face him, you continued to walk backward as other students in the hallway avoided bumping into you. “As long as you don’t forget my birthday when you date her, got it?”

Sending a grin in your direction, Jungkook laughed, “Like you’d ever let me forget!”

“Just making sure!” You shrugged before turning back around and continued walking in the direction of your first class.

“Aish, she’s going to be the death of me,” He muttered to himself with a roll of his eyes before slumping his shoulders and trailing after you.

“Hi Soomin!” You plopped yourself into the seat in front of Soomin’s in your math class. From across the room, where you usually sat, you felt Jungkook’s stares and inaudible pleas to stop but you disregarded them. Thank goodness your first period with Soomin was math because the teacher never arrived on time.

“Oh, uh, hi Y/N,” she tucked a strand of hair behind her ear.

“You know my name?”

“Doesn’t everyone?” She asked, raising an eyebrow. Did everyone know your name? If they did, you assumed it was only because of the fact that you were Jungkook’s best friend. Frowning at the thought, you wondered, was that your reputation at this school? Just being Jungkook’s wacky best friend?

“I’m sorry if that came out wrong! You’re just well known to the student body, I meant. You’re at the top of most of our classes and you do have a bit of a gaudy attitude,” She elaborated. Gaudy?

“Oh, I see. Well, I just came over to get to know you a bit. You see, I’m––” You gazed at Jungkook who was waving his hands wildly for you to stop, “––running for Student Body President! Yeah, that’s what I’m doing...” You pursed your lips together in a pressed smile and averted your gaze at your blatant lie.

“You are? Well, I wish you luck with that. Why did you have to talk to me though?” She asked, confusion evident in her voice.

“I, uh, want to get to know the students more! On a more personal level, you know? I want to know your true thoughts and opinions about the school and what needs to be changed. Are clubs still a vital part of the school community? Is the technology up to date? Is...” You trailed off from your surprisingly passionate speech and looked back at her with a sheepish smile. “Heh heh, your input would be nice, is all I’m saying.”

“I’m flattered that someone’s coming to me because...well, no one really cares about my opinion besides my friends,” she smiled.

“I care now,” you grinned. “If it doesn’t clash with your schedule, are you free eighth period?”

Checking her schedule, she nodded. “I am. Meet me in the library?”

“Great! See you there!” You walked back to your seat and smiled to yourself in victory. The teacher just walked into class and you had already set your plan into motion.

“I am going to murder you in your sleep,” Jungkook greeted you with a glare.

“Love you too, bubs,” You replied, slipping into the seat behind his.

Turning in his seat to face you, he licked his lips in anticipation. “Just tell me what she said.”

“She didn’t say anything yet. What, you think I’m just going to meet her and ask about you? How complicated do you think girls are?” You raised an eyebrow.

“So what did you talk about all this time?” He furrowed his brows. “I heard you mention something about the school and technology?”

“Oh...” You looked away, bashfully. “I may or may not have told her I’m running for Student Body President.”

Jungkook let out a loud laugh causing the teacher to send him a scowl before returning to the lesson. “Student Body President? Now that’s funny,” Jungkook whispered.

“Hey! I could be a good representative of our school!”

“I agree with you there, but the fact that you’d want to be? Where’s the lazy Y/N I know and love?”

“I’m not being serious, idiot. I just needed something to say to get close to her.”

“Ahh, I see now,” He nodded before turning back and focusing on the lesson.

“Ahh, I see now,” you mimicked with an eye roll causing him to kick his leg behind him to hit your desk.

“You know, one of these days, you’re going to thank me for meddling with your love life,” you nudged the inside of Jungkook’s elbow while you were on the lunch line.

Jungkook turned away from the lunch lady to send you a flat look. “Did you hear what you just said? Meddle?” He turned back to the lunch counter and asked the lunch lady for a sandwich.

“I’m just saying! What if this is the girl?” You trailed after him, grabbing your lunch off the counter along the way.

“The girl?”

“Don’t play dumb with me, Kook,” You scowled even though he couldn’t see you since his back was facing you.

“We’re in high school, Y/N. I don’t know if this is the girl I’ll end up with. I don’t even know how I feel about her yet. I’m just interested, that’s all.”

“Puh–lease. I’ve never heard of my best friend being interested in someone and it not being serious,” You rolled your eyes.

“You know what?” He quickly spun around to turn to you and you had to step back from him so his lunch didn’t end up all over you. “Fine. Be the matchmaker you desire to be, Y/N! But if you mess this up for me, I’m going to kill you.”

You smiled sweetly at him, “Of course.”

After you had settled down at a table, your usual table, he spoke again, “What’s your plan?”

“My plan? To befriend her and then convince her my best friend is a really great guy she should be interested in him...that’s going to be hard.”

“Hey!”

“I’m kidding! If you won the hearts of everyone else, I don’t think she’d be too much of a challenge.”

“Let’s hope not.”

“Hey, Y/N!” Soomin approached your table in the library. Jungkook stiffened in the seat beside yours.

“Hey Soomin! You don’t mind if Kook sticks around while we talk?” You smiled warmly at the girl, ignoring the daggers sent by Jungkook’s eyes.

Shrugging with a smile, she replied “No, I don’t mind.”

Jungkook sheepishly smiled at her, “I–If you don’t want me here, I–I could go–”

“No, no! It’s fine, really!”

“Okay,” Jungkook breathed out and turned his attention back to his homework.

You and Soomin chatted the entire period while you subtly nudged Jungkook to engage in the conversation. When he finally did, he didn’t do too poorly. He made Soomin laugh and there was no uncomfortable silence which you were grateful for.

“You know,” Jungkook nudged you on your walk home from school. “I think your plan may just work.”

Raising an eyebrow at his remark, your lips curled into a smile. “So you admit it?”

“Hm, I guess so. Thank you, Y/N, for doing this,” Jungkook spoke softly as his hands were buried deeply into his sweatshirt pockets.

“Of course, bubs. What are best friends for?”

A week into first speaking to Soomin, you two began getting closer. You began inviting one another to each other’s houses and you were actually glad to have a new friend; especially one who wasn’t obsessed with your best friend.

“Hm, for someone who just wanted some opinions, we are getting awfully close,” Soomin raised an amused eyebrow. She had come over to ‘do homework and talk about what changes she’d like done to the school.’

Chuckling nervously, you said, “Well, I already got some commentary from other students. But along with your input, you’re really cool and it’d be nice to have another friend.” You two were currently lounging on your bed, books in front of you and pencils in your hands.

“Another friend? Isn’t everyone your friend already?”

“Please,” You rolled your eyes with a sigh, “they’re only friends with me because I’m best friends with Kook.”

“Jungkook, right?”

Your eyes lit up at the mention of his name and you looked at her in curiosity. “Yeah! You know him well?”

“Actually, no. I’ve spoken to him a few times, including that time in the library last week, but that’s all. Why?”

“Oh, just wondering. If anyone else mentions Jungkook, they go off on a tangent about how popular or attractive he is,” You rolled your eyes.

“And how’s that?” She asked, tilting her head to the side.

“Quite annoying.”

“I can imagine. So, you aren’t close with anyone else?”

“I mean, not really. Kook––he’s always been there for me you know? Since we were kids, he’d be my bodyguard and I his. I never felt the need to have other friends because he’s all I needed. Besides, when people did want to be my friend, they ended up ditching me or using me to hang out with him.”

“I’m so sorry. You know, not gonna lie, you’re pretty great! Why aren’t you as popular? You two could make a great power couple,” She rolled onto her back so she was looking at the ceiling in wonder.

You choked on a cough. “W–what? Power couple? Sure, we’re best friends but power couple? That’s ridiculous––”

“You do act like a couple already minus the romantic aspects. I didn’t know you two weren’t dating until last week at the library,” Soomin confessed, nonchalantly.

“Really? Does anyone else think that?”

Sitting up and staring at your curious gaze, she peered at you. “Plenty of people do...”

“What? Since when? No one comes up to me to find out whether Kook and I are dating.”

“Don’t you get it? Like you said, girls practically throw themselves at him to get a reaction. Face it, you’re their biggest competition,” She shrugged. How did she know so much about it?

“I’m really not...Kook and I, we’re only best friends! That’s all we’ll ever be!”

Soomin raised a curious brow, “You really don’t see it?”

“See what?”

“The envy in other girls’ eyes? They would kill to be in your shoes. Being Jungkook’s best friend? That’s a ticket to get him to notice you,” She shrugged. “Besides, my friends have been there. All I used to hear were my friends plans to get Jungkook to notice them but after a while, they gave up.”

“Your friends? You never liked him?” You pressed, leaning your cheek on your palm while you traced designs on your bed comforter.

“Me? Oh no. I mean, I thought he was attractive––not that he isn’t anymore! He totally is but––what was I saying?”

Your lips curled at her rambles, “How you didn’t like him.”

“Right! Yeah, it was hard when all your friends gushed about him. It seemed like I couldn’t bother. Other girls were drooling over him so I never felt the urge. You understand, right? I could imagine you do.”

“I do,” you slowly nodded. All your life you were surrounded by girls gossiping about your best friend and how great he was, but you? You saw Jungkook as you dorky best friend; you couldn’t imagine him in the eyes of all the others.

“It’s getting late. I should head home. Thanks for inviting me, Y/N,” Soomin smiled politely and sat up from your bed. Gathering her books into her backpack she chuckled, “Next time we should get work done, yeah?”

Nodded with pursed lips, you let out air from your nose. Soomin left shortly after that, leaving you alone to your thoughts.

“Something good better have happened yesterday...You didn’t come over,” Jungkook pouted disapprovingly when he approached your locker the next day.

“I told you Soomin was coming over,” you raised an eyebrow and sent him a knowing look. Sighing in exasperation, he leaned against the locker beside yours.

“And?”

“Hey, I can’t tell you! It’s girl talk,” You closed your locker and crossed your arms over your chest.

“Since when do you care about girl talk? You tell me everything,” Jungkook deadpanned.

“Since I’ve made a friend who was a girl. That means I have to stick to girl code,” You turned away from him to walk toward your next class.

Trailing behind you, he persisted, “Can you at least tell me if I have a chance?”

Turning to give your best friend a sweet smile, you patted his cheek lovingly. “I think you do.” Cheeks reddening at your words, he turned his head to roll his eyes.

“So that’s a no.”

“Hey, it takes time! I’m not a five star matchmaker overnight, you know?” You wagged a finger at him.

“Would you keep your voice down please?” Jungkook looked around just in case any body heard you.

“Alright alright,” You turned back around to continue to class.

Weeks flew by and your plan had finally worked to the point where Jungkook was actually conversing with the girl. She sat with you at lunch and, at first, it was awkward due to the fact that Jungkook mainly spent the period staring at his lunch, only listening in on Soomin and your conversations. However, after a while of giving him confidence and persuading him, he finally began to engage in conversations more frequently to the point where they’d forgotten all about you.

Normally you’d glare at your best friend for his rudeness but you saw how happy he was; the way his eyes twinkled with infatuation with the girl across the table with him. You were happy for your best friend. Like you should’ve been...right?

“Jungkook asked me out today,” Soomin mumbled under her breath while you two were searching through the bookcases in the library for some information on your latest history assignment.

“He what!?” You nearly shrieked, causing the nearby librarian to shush you with a scowl. Looking away in embarrassment, you turned back to Soomin and whispered, “He what?”

“I know,” she laughed to herself as if the whole thing was bizarre, “He just came up to me and asked me out.”

“And?” You pressed, leaning in as if this was the most valuable information you’d ever gotten.

“I said yes.” You jumped up in glee. Before you could reply she tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, “...under one condition.”

“And what’s that?” You furrowed your eyebrows in confusion.

“That you’d come with your own date?” She winced, waiting for your outburst. You blinked as the words processed in your mind.

Widening your eyes in horror, you spoke in a hushed tone, “Soomin! Why on earth would you say that? Sending his best friend on a double date with him?”

“I know! I’m sorry, really! It just, sort of, slipped out! It’s just...you know we’ve gotten close but I still don’t know Jungkook as well as I’d like to but if you were there, maybe you can make sure the date goes well?”

Sighing at her begging demeanor, you nodded. “Of course, I’ll go...but I don’t have a date,” You stated, flatly.

“I might’ve found one for you. He’s really sweet, believe me. I’ve known him for a while and he really likes you,” She reassured with a smile.

Pondering over the thought, deeply, you watched as Soomin gnawed at her lip, waiting for your answer.

“...Is he cute?”

Sighing in relief at your question, she linked arms with yours, “I think so.”

“I already promised her! I can’t back out now!” You frowned as you watched Jungkook scurry around his room looking for something to wear.

“Fake sick or something! Your going to make things awkward, Y/N!” He looked up from rummaging through his dresser to shoot you a deadpanned look.

“No I won’t. Remember, I have my own date so it’s not like I’ll be focused on you. I’ll be talking to him––”

“Woah woah. You have a date? With who? Is he in our grade? Why didn’t you tell me earlier? I need to approve him!” Jungkook was now in front of you, searching your eyes for the answers to his nosy questions.

“Kook!” You playfully smacked his shoulder, “Don’t get all protective on me now! We have a date in an hour and you should be getting ready,” You pointed to the imaginary watch on your wrist.

Looking down at your own nice clothes, Jungkook sighed, “I thought girls were supposed to take a while to get ready. How come you’re not like them?”

Rolling your eyes at his stereotypical statement, you protested, “I’m not like most girls, Kook.”

“Yeah, you sure aren’t,” He paused before shaking his head to himself, “You look great by the way.”

Beaming at his compliment, you looked down at your own outfit. “Thank you. Now...let’s get you looking as dashing as ever.”

Looking down at his torso, your nose went up a the top he was wearing. “Nuh–uh. Too casual.”

Sighing, he asked, “What should I wear then?”

Walking over to his closet, you went through the button up shirts and took one out. “You could never go wrong with white,” You waved the hanger into his face.

Taking the thin shirt off the hanger, he shrugged off the horrid looking sweater he was just wearing. Turning your head, you looked through his collection of ties.

Turning back around, you held up three ties to his chest as he buttoned the last few buttons of his shirt. Eyeing your look of concentration, a smile broke out on his face.

“You’re really serious about this, aren’t you?”

“Well, she’s your potential first official girlfriend––” you declared, throwing one of the ties which didn’t fit over you shoulder before making eye contact with Jungkook, “––so yes. Which one do you like?” You held up the two ties in each hand.

Jungkook pointed to the one in your right hand and in response, you scrunched your nose up in distaste. Wrapping the other tie around his neck, you heard him laugh aloud.

“You excited?” You asked, your focus on the tie around his neck. Your hands maneuvered the tie into a knot.

“Of course. I’ve been waiting for this for a while...you?” You looked up at his raised eyebrows and something within you fluttered but you decided to ignore it.

“Mhm,” you hummed in agreement, averting your gaze back to the tie. You adjusted the tie around his neck and beamed at your craftsmanship. Nodding your head in approval you patted his chest. His dress shirt fitted him nicely, accentuating his biceps and chest. You mentally rolled your eyes, imagining the looks he’d get from other girls.

“There. Handsome as always.” You looked up from his chest and you swore you saw something flicker in his eyes. Neither of you moved an inch, just staring at one another. Your phone began to ring and you cleared your throat, awkwardly.

Stepping away from Jungkook, you took the phone off of his nightstand.

“Hello?”

“Where are you? I’m knocking on your front door but no one’s answering!”

“Soomin! I’m next door, I’ll be right out.”

“Oh, okay. I’m sorry. I’m just a bit...nervous, that’s all.”

Smiling softly, although she couldn’t see you, you reassured, ”I understand. I’ll be out in two minutes.”

You hung up the phone and grabbed your purse from Jungkook’s doorknob. “Your date is at my house so if you don’t mind...”

Jungkook nodded and gave you a short wave. Rushing down the steps, your hand slid down the railing as you were carful not to trip and fall.

“Soomin,” You greeted, brightly, exiting jungkook’s home to see her in front of your home’s door.

“Hey! This is your date,” Soomin gestured to the smiling boy beside her.

“Yeah, Jimin, right?” You stepped into your front yard and offered a hand. Jimin shook your hand with a nod.

“You look stunning!”

“Why thank you! You look very nice, too,” you grinned at the boy’s sweet words.

“Is Jungkook ready?”

Hearing his name caused your heart rate to increase. “Hm?”

“Jungkook. Is he ready?” Soomin repeated, furrowing her brows.

“Oh, well he’s––”

“Hey Soomin. Ready for tonight?” A voice cut you off causing the three of you to turn your attention to next door. There in all his glory, you mentally rolled your eyes, was the ever so confident Jeon Jungkook. It didn’t even look like the man was freaking out about a date just minutes before.

Staring in awe at your best friend, your focus broke when Jimin linked arms with yours. Shaking out of your daze, you pretended to wipe a fake tear off your cheek. “I can’t believe it. My boy’s all grown up.”

Jungkook rolled his eyes at you and linked arms with Soomin. “My car is parked right there,” He waved his car in the direction of his car parked just across the street.

The restaurant was neither too casual nor too fancy. It made a great place for dates, especially for young couples. The walls were painted a nude orange while paintings of landscapes were hung around the dimly lit room.

After you settled at a table, Jimin being quite a gentleman by pulling out your seat and pushing it in for you, the four of your took a look at the menu. Jungkook sat across from you and watched as his forehead began to glisten as if he was about to start sweating bullets. Kicking your leg under the table to hit his, you shot him a look of reassurance.

“You’ll be fine,” you mouthed to which he responded with a slow nod and breath of relief.

“Everything looks so good,” Soomin voiced as her eyes flickered down the menu in front of her. You hummed in agreement, placing your eyes back on the menu.

“So Y/N,” Jimin caught your attention and you turned to him in question.

“Hm?”

“You’re pretty involved in school, huh?” Shyly, you tucked a strand of hair behind you. From across the table, Jungkook raised a confused brow. You never did that.

“I wouldn’t say that.”

“Come on. Sports teams? Student council? And you’re one of our top students? You’re a big deal,” Jimin gushed, widening his eyes.

Widening your own eyes, a blush crept up your neck. No one really acknowledged that about you. You just thought people only cared about the fact that you were friends with Jungkook, the school’s own golden boy.

“I am?”

“You’re our school’s golden girl. People don’t tell you that all the time?” Jimin furrowed his brows together. No, you thought to yourself. They didn’t. When people spoke to you, no one mentioned you’re own being. It was always Jungkook this, Jungkook that.

Before you could answer, a throat was cleared and you both snapped your attention to Jungkook. “Of course she does. From me.”

Tilting your head in acknowledgement, you agreed. Jungkook did mention your outgoing nature quite a lot. You turned it into a competition; seeing who was the most involved in your school.

“Right. And she should.” You heard the challenge in Jimin’s voice and you looked at Soomin who was oblivious to the whole thing, still looking down at her menu.

“I tell her, too!” Soomin piped, grinning. “I was surprised when she came to me for input for changes requested by students for the school.”

“Wow! Asking others for advice regarding the school? You’re quite a character, Y/N. Remind me why you’re still single? You’re a catch,” Jimin grinned, cheekily.

Biting your lip, hiding the grin threatening to spread across your face, you looked away. From across the table, Jungkook rolled his eyes and scoffed to himself.

“You’re involved, too, aren’t you, Jungkook?” Soomin rested her chin on her hand as her elbow leaned against the table.

“Hm? Oh yeah,” Jungkook stated, his eyes still trained on you. Narrowing your eyes at his vague answer, you kicked him from under the table.

“He’s the captain of nearly every team and the president of plenty of clubs,” you pointed out, hopefully impressing Soomin in some way.

“That’s impressive,” Soomin pouted in approval and nodded.

You looked at Jimin and watched him nod in agreement.

“I mean, it’s nothing compared to Y/N, right?” Jungkook shrugged. Squinting your eyes, you wondered what he was doing. Was he being humble? Jungkook was never humble.

“Give yourself more credit!” Soomin lightly shoved him causing a small laugh to escape Jungkook’s mouth.

“Hey,” Jimin whispered, breaking you out of your gaze.

“Hm?” You turned to him with a smile. He squinted at you, as if analyzing you, before shaking his head to himself and releasing a small chuckle.

“What kind of music do you listen to?”

The double date ended and you all left the restaurant, laughs escaping each of your lips. “That was fun!” Soomin giggled, climbing into Jungkook’s car.

“It was,” Jimin agreed, sneaking a glance at you. “Maybe next time it could be just us.”

Raising your eyebrows at his sly excuse for a date, you looked up as if pondering his proposition. “Hm, maybe.”

Chuckling at your ambiguous response, he looked back ahead at the road.

“What about you, Jungkook? Next time, just us?” Soomin asked, looking up from her phone.

Jungkook looked through the mirror and watched as you gave a pleased smile and short nod. “If you’d like to,” He replied, putting his eyes back on the road.

Soomin nodded her head with a smile before turning in her seat to face you. She widened her eyes and opened her mouth widly. You mirrored her facial expression, not able to contain your excitement for her and your best friend.

After Jimin and Soomin were dropped off at their houses, it was just you and Jungkook in the car. You managed to take Soomin’s seat in the passenger side after Jungkook dropped the two of them off.

“It was a success!” You yelled in glee. Jungkook looked to you and his lips curled up in a smile.

“I think you’re happier than I am. Did you like Jimin? You looked like you liked him.”

“He was nice,” you quieted down from your previous thrilled behavior.

“Woah. What was that? You instantly took it down ten notches. What happened? Did he say something to you?” He turned his full attention to you when he reached a stoplight.

“No, no!” You denied, quickly. “He was great! I just...I don’t know. He seemed too good to be true, you know?” Jungkook bit his lip and looked back down at the steering wheel as if thinking about your claim. Shaking your head to yourself, a laugh escaped your lips. “It’s okay if you don’t. You looked like you were having a great time with Soomin.”

“Y/N, I didn’t get to answer––”

“You didn’t have to, Kook. I know that look,” you sent a knowing look. It was the look of pure concentration. He wanted to relate and say he understood but you knew he didn’t.

Sighing to himself, he knew he wouldn’t get past your stubborn nature. The rest of the car ride was silent and you were grateful for it. You had silence for your own thoughts to think what were the new nerves settled at the pit of your stomach that had just come about when the date ended.

“See you at school tomorrow. Special day tomorrow,” you waved goodbye from your own front door as he fumbled with the keys to his.

Waving goodbye, he furrowed his eyebrows in confusion before gaving you his usual boyish grin. You entered the house and closed the door with a sigh.

“Hey Y/N!” Jimin was the first to greet you the next day at school. Jungkook didn’t walk with you that morning because he texted you earlier that he was picking up Soomin and taking her to school.

You realized he wasn’t in any of your classes, but nonetheless, you liked him and you looked forward to see him around at school.

“Hey Jimin,” you greeted the smiling boy.

“I realized we didn’t exchange numbers last night,” Jimin pulled his phone out of his pocket and sent you a lopsided grin.

“Oh! Yeah, here.” You took the phone from his hand and entered your phone number.

“Thanks,” he took the phone back before scratching the back of his neck. “Did you have a good time last night?”

Nodding your head, you grinned, “I did! Did you?”

“I did.” He began to lean forward and backward by the heels of his feet. “So...will there be a next time?”

“Next time for what?” Another voice answered for you, Jungkook appeared beside you and threw his arm around you shoulder.

“Uh, Kook? You mind?” You shrugged his arm off you. Furrowing his eyebrows at your cold reply, Jungkook put his hands up in surrender.

Turning back to Jimin with a smile, you nodded. “Sure. Just text me anytime.” And with that, you began to walk away from Jungkook, Jimin and Soomin, who was trailing behind Jungkook.

“Woah woah. Hey Y/N,” Jungkook sped up to walk beside you.

“Hey,” you greeted, raising your eyebrows as if waiting for something.

“Just hey? Aren’t you going to ask me about the car ride this morning?”

You shoulders slumped in defeat before standing up straight again.

“What do you mean? It looks like you’re doing well on your own,” you raised an eyebrow.

“Okay, pause. Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine.” Lie. “Why?”

“You’re acting...off,” Jungkook crossed his arms and stopped you in your path.

“I’m okay, really.”

“No, Y/N, you’re not. I know you.”

“I’m fine, Kook! Just let me be, okay? Go back to Soomin. Wouldn’t want her to think you’re ditching her, right?”

You walked around Jungkook and continued your path to homeroom, leaving Jungkook to watch as you walked away.

“Are you and Jungkook okay?” Soomin asked in the library during a free period. Looking up from your notebook, you furrowed your eyebrows.

“Yeah, why?”

“He thinks you’re mad at him. Are you?”

Rolling your eyes, you shook your head. “No, I’m not mad at him.”

“Then...?”

“It’s nothing,” you dismissed her with a wave of your hand and she didn’t question you further.

Were you being petty? It was just an honest mistake, the angel on your shoulder reassured you.

Psh, mistake? How could he make a mistake he never made since you were born? The devil on your shoulder retorted.

Rolling your eyes at your thoughts, you shook your head to yourself and grabbed the book you were currently writing in and left the library.

Walking through the empty hallway, you wondered what thoughts were swirling through Jungkook’s mind. Where’s Soomin? Would she like the shirt I’m wearing? Does she think my hair looks like a coconut like Y/N does?

Reaching your locker, you opened it up and a smile broke out on your face. Sunflowers? In the back of your mind, you knew Jungkook wasn’t an idiot and you were relieved when you were proven right.

Happy Birthday, Y/N! Hope you have the greatest day of your life! ~J

Tilting your head to the side in wonder, you pouted. Since when does Jungkook sign as ‘J’?

“Do you like them?” A voice from behind you broke you out of your thoughts, causing your heart to fall in your chest. You slowly turned to face the smiling boy.

“Oh, Jimin!”

“Sorry, did I scare you!?” Jimin raised his hands and widened his eyes.

“No, no! I just didn’t expect you!” You sighed, a weak smile on your face. Staring down at the flowers in your hand, you felt even worse than minutes before. They weren’t from Jungkook.

“I had a free period right now and rushed to the nearest florist. Sorry if it’s a little late,” Jimin rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly. You took a look at the boy before you.

“Late? Jimin, this is exactly what I needed right now. Thank you so much,” You extended your arms out and pulled Jimin in for a tight hug, the bouquet of sunflowers still in your right hand. “But wait,” you pulled away.

Raising his eyebrows in question, he hummed, “Hm?”

“How did you know today was my birthday?”

“You mentioned it last night. I have a good memory, I guess. I wish I could’ve given them to you earlier when I was talking to you,” he pouted, looking down shyly.

“Don’t worry about it, Jimin! I love them, they’re so beautiful!”

“I’m glad you like them. What do you have next period?”

Looking up to remember, you sighed, “Calculus.”

“Mind if I walk you to class?” Jimin offered with a smile. Nodding your head and genuinely smiling back, you linked arms with his.

Was Y/N mad at me? Did I do something wrong on the date to upset her? Was Jimin bothering her? All these questions were whirling through Jungkook’s head as he was in class and he just couldn’t focus on anything but the thought of you.

His knee bounced up at down beneath his desk as he gnawed nervously at his lip.

The bell rang and he raced out of his classroom to find you. He pushed past people as his eyes flickered around the hallway of students to find any sign of you.

Where the hell were you?

“Jungkook, hey!” Soomin suddenly stopped him in his tracks, a bright smile on his face.

“Hey, have you seen Y/N?” He avoided eye contact with Soomin as he glanced around nearby lockers.

“No...I haven’t. She left the library halfway into her free period to go to her locker or something,” Soomin shrugged and stared at him in curiosity. “She told me she’s not mad.”

“Well, she’s Y/N. I know Y/N, and if she says she’s not mad at me, she’s definitely mad at me.”

“For what? Did you have some sort of argument yesterday?”

“No! At least...I don’t think so,” Jungkook licked his chapped lips in worry. What had he done?

He tried to reply the events of the night prior. You came over, helped his get dressed. Had an intense staring contest before Soomin called, left, went on the date, had fun with Jimin, and became shy and quiet when he was mentioned in the car.

Was it about Jimin?

“I might have something but I need to find Y/N.”

“So it later, Jungkook. We still have class,” Soomin raised an eyebrow. Nodding at her reasonable thinking, he agreed.

After eighth period, Jungkook looked around the school parking lot, where you usually met up with Jungkook for your walks home, but you weren’t there.

Taking his phone out of his pocket, he fumbled with his fingers on the screen to call you.

“Hello?”

“Y/N?”

“...Yeah?”

“Where are you!?”

“Uh...I went out for ice cream with Jimin.” Jungkook heard a few giggles from the other line. “Jimin, don’t you dare pay for me!” “Y/NNNN, it’s my treat!”

Furrowing his eyebrows in anger and clenching his fists, jealously rushed through his veins. Y/N went to ice cream without me? And didn’t even let me know?

“Oh.”

“Sorry, Kook. Talk later?” You sounded like you were trying to get out of the conversation and Jungkook didn’t understand why.

“Sure. See you later.”

“You’re really annoying, you know that?” You stared at the bubbly boy seated across from you in the ice cream parlor.

“Yeah right,” Jimin waved you off with his hand. “What was the call about?”

“Oh,” you bit your bottom lip. “Jungkook wanted to know where I was.”

Scrunching his eyebrows together, Jimin asked, “Why?”

“We usually walk home together but I didn’t tell him I was going out.”

“Oh. What did he get you? I bet it was a million times better than those sunflowers I got you,” Jimin eyed the bouquet in the seat beside yours.”

What should you say? That Jungkook hadn’t gotten you anything, making him seem like worst best friend in the world? Brush it off and give a vague answer? Lie?

“Is it too personal? I’m sorry!”

Sighing in relief at Jimin’s over-worrying nature, you smiled. “It’s okay.”

“You know,” Jimin stirred the straw in his milkshake slowly. “I’m surprised to accepted my offer to come. I thought you and Jungkook would’ve hung out together for the rest of the day.” Me too, you thought to yourself.

You shrugged. “I don’t spend every minute with him.”

“From what I see, you do,” Jimin stated bluntly.

“Really?”

“Yeah. You guys are, like, attached at the hip. Like I said yesterday, I’m surprised you’re single but I’m even more surprised you two aren’t dating.”

You were getting tired of these comments. Everyone you seem to meet is talking about the two of you being together. You missed when they only talked about Jungkook, leaving you out of the equation. It was less attention for you.

“You wouldn’t be the first.”

Unlocking your front door, you stepped inside the comfort of your home after your ice cream date–was it even a date?–with Jimin. Walking up to your room you dropped your backpack onto the floor beside your desk. Hearing giggles from out the window, you turned your head and your heart shattered for the nth time that day.

Next door, through the window, Jungkook’s window, you watched Jungkook as he sat at his desk and Soomin very close next to him doing homework.

Frowning at the sight, you grabbed the string of your blinds and yanked them down, loud enough for them to hear from next door.

Turning away from the covered window, you sat on your bed and took out the books required for your homework.

Hours passed and you began to grow tired. A yawn escaped your mouth and you took a look at your phone. 11:55 p.m.

That was it, you thought. Jungkook had forgotten your birthday. Granted, you hadn’t bugged him about it since a few weeks prior but he should have remembered. Right?

Even Soomin remembered your birthday a few hours before and sent a text, promising to give you your gift tomorrow.

“Psst.” You heard a whisper from outside.

“Y/N!” The voice whisper-shouted.

“Y/N,” The voice then sang in an impatient tone.

Getting up from your bed, you headed toward the window and raised the blinds.

“What do you want?” You asked, coldly, to the innocently smiling boy on the grass beside your house, looking up at you.

“Woah, chill, Y/N. Since you’re not talking to me, I’m deciding to do what the guys do in the movies.”

“No. No, you are not, Kook,” you warned.

He strode toward the tall tree who’s branches conveniently reached your window and lifted his leg up to climb it.

“Kook, you’re going to fall and break your neck. What the hell are you doing?” You whisper-shouted so no one in the neighborhood could hear you.

“I told you. I need to talk to you,” he grunted as he struggled to climb the tree.

“You’re going to die,” you stated flatly.

“Thank you for the great words of encouragement, really appreciate it.” Even when struggling while climbing a tree, his voice was evidently laced with sarcasm.

“Seriously, this is just unnecessary.”

“I’m trying to prove a point, Y/N.”

“The front door is literally unlocked. Just go through that.”

“That’s not effective enough!”

“Oh my god.”

“If it worked for Troy Bolton, it’ll work for me.”

By the time you stopped bickering, Jungkook reached your window. “See? Effective, right? Like in the movies?”

“More like stupid. Get in here before you fall.” You grabbed his arm and pulled him into your room.

“Phew, that was a bit of a workout,” Jungkook breathed heavily while his hands were placed on his hips.

“What do you want, Kook?” You sighed, crossing your arms in impatience.

“Why are you mad at me Y/N? Did I say something or do something?”

“No.”

“Then what?”

“It’s what you didn’t say.”

“Wh–What does that even mean?”

“Figure it out.” You turned around so your back was facing him and began to gather your books in your backpack.

“Y/N, please!” Jungkook grabbed your wrist and spun you back around. “You’re never like this! I think I know what this is about.”

I highly doubt it.

“Jimin.”

Coughing in surprise, you repeated his accusation, “Jimin? Why on earth would Jimin be the reason I’m mad at you?”

“That’s what I wanna know! You say you’re my best friend yet ignored me the entire day and treated me like crap!”

You heart sank at his words. He was right. It was just a dumb birthday. You’d have many more to come and had you not been such a bitch, he’d probably been there for those.

“We haven’t been hanging out as much either, too, though. I get it. Since you and Soomin are practically dating, you forgot––”

“Wait, is this about Soomin? You’re jealous of Soomin?” Jungkook frowned.

“What? No, I’m not.”

“Yes, you are Y/N. How could you be jealous of Soomin? You’re the one who set us up!”

“I’m not jealous!”

“Yeah right. What other reasonable explanation is there?”

Fuming at his question, you clenched your fists. You had a just tried to tell him but look where it got you.

But why couldn’t you tell him again now? Was it pride? Or was is it that if Jungkook forgot something as simple as your birthday, how long would it be until he forgot about you altogether?

“You know what, Y/N? I refrained from arguing because you’re upset with me but honestly, I’m more upset with you. You’re my best friend! Aren’t you supposed to tell me everything and let me know when something’s wrong? Stop acting like a jealous girlfriend and tell me what the hell I did!”

Jealous girlfriend?

“You really think of me as a jealous girlfriend?” Your voice was low and nearly cracking. Were these Jungkook’s true thoughts about you? Just a girl who wanted him all to herself just like the others?

Jungkook looked up and his expression softened when he took in your features.

“Y/N––”

“Out.”

“What?”

You pointed to the door. “Get out. If that’s all you thought of me, why keep me around?”

Jungkook sighed to himself before turning to leave. On the way, he turned back to look at you and his eyes caught something on your nightstand. A cupcake with a candle on it. Your mother had brought it up to you after she had come back from work.

No, Jungkook thought to himself. No, no, no. It wasn’t today.

“Oh shit, Y/N.”

“Just leave.”

Back at home, Jungkook was mentally beating himself up. Of course that was it.

You were never jealous or angry at other girls.

How could he forget your birthday? You’ve only been telling him about your ideas for plans for weeks.

And now he made you even angrier by making such cruel accusations.

Jungkook stared at his phone screen, multiple missed calls and messages from Soomin which he ignored. A few weeks ago, he would’ve responded to those in a heartbeat. But now? His only thoughts were on you and he didn’t know what to do with them.

You were supposed to be the most important girl in his life. He’d promised to himself even when he got a girlfriend, his best friend would always be his top priority.

How did he manage to forget about you as soon as the opportunity to get a girlfriend came up?

And now, why couldn’t you leave his mind?

You didn’t bother to wait of for Jungkook the next morning. After what had happened last night, you didn’t want to see him. Sure, you might’ve been exaggerating when he forgot your birthday but after blaming you for being mad at him? That was a new low for Jungkook.

“Y/N, you alright?” Jimin asked when he saw your frown. Smiling weakly at the boy, you nodded.

“I’m all good––”

“Y/N!”

Sighing to yourself, you sent Jimin an apologetic smile. “Sorry, I gotta go,” you said before walking in the direction opposite of the voice who called you.

“Stop running away from me! Please!”

You turned around in your tracks and saw Jungkook pushing past people to get to you, his hair disheveled as if he’d been pulling at it and wearing mismatched clothes as if he threw them on in only a few seconds. Raising your eyebrows in surprise, you crossed your arms.

“Jungkook! I’ve been looking for you for ages.” Jungkook stared in horror at Soomin who had just walked in front of him.

“I uh––”

“Don’t worry this will be quick...” Jungkook looked up back at you as you kept your arms crossed across your chest, a look of impatience spread across your face. Looking back down at Soomin, he tilted his head in question as he tapped his foot, waiting to run toward you.

“Uh huh?”

“Well, I was wondering...” Jungkook looked back up at you only to find you were gone.

“Hold on––” Jungkook cut her off and looked around again for any sign of you bt you were gone.

“Jeon Jungkook. What the hell is going on with you!?”

Soomin’s harsh remark made Jungkook snap his gaze toward her. “Y/N...she’s mad at me,” Jungkook weakly pointed in the direction of where you just were.

“Not to sound like a bitch because she’s your best friend, but can you, like, forget her for a second? I’m asking you something important to me.”

“What?”

Before Soomin could repeat her question, she noticed Jungkook’s gaze. He was looking at her but he wasn’t focused. Jungkook was no longer looking at her the same way he used to.

Sighing to herself, she shook her head and released a humorless chuckle. “You know what? Forget it. Go get your girl.”

Coughing, Jungkook furrowed his brows and tilted his head. “My girl?”

“Y/N. Go get her. I can see it now. I don’t know why I didn’t notice it before but I do now.”

“What? Notice what?”

“The way you look at Y/N? Hell, even when you’re not looking at her, you’re looking for her. I see the way you watch her, Jungkook. You can defend yourself however you’d like but I can see it. You look at her with desire, longing, whatever you want to call it.”

“I–What?”

“Just admit it, Jungkook. You have feelings for your best friend.”

Widening his eyes at Soomin’s claim, he shook his head profusely.

“N–No, no way. She’s my best friend. Always has been.’

“So you want to tell me she hasn’t been driving you nuts these past few days? She hasn’t been on your mind every second of the day and you can’t stop it?” Soomin then patted Jungkook’s shoulder, reassuringly. “Face it, dude. You like Y/N.”

“Oh my god.”

“Yeah, I know it’s hard to admit but you have to eventually. Y/N’s a great girl and I love her but she’s got another pining for her, too.”

Jungkook snapped his attention back to Soomin. “Jimin.” Jungkook knew he didn’t like Jimin for a reason. Turns out it was because he was jealous. He was the one who was jealous, not the other way around.

“What am I going to do?”

“Um, tell her?”

“I can’t! She’s pissed at me!”

Soomin frowned, “What did you do?”

“I might’ve forgotten her birthday,” Jungkook scrathed the back of his neck and flinched at the look of anger spread across Soomin’s face.

“You what!?”

“It slipped my mind!”

“How are we going to fix this?”

“Wait, we?”

“Well, yeah. I like Y/N and the only person I see her with is you so I want to keep it that way.”

“Thank you, Soomin!”

“What was that earlier?” Jimin asked as you both walked down the hallway.

“Hm?”

“Walking away from Jungkook when he called you? Are you two alright? Tell me, Y/N,” Jimin asked, concern evident in his voice.

“Jungkook forgot my birthday yesterday and then when he tried to ask me why I was mad at him–which technically I wan’t mad, just disappointed–he ended saying some things I never thought he’d say.”

“I’m sorry for asking.”

“It whatever. He’s too consumed with Soomin to care, I guess.”

“Y/N, you and I both know that isn’t true.”

“What do you mean?”

“Jungkook cares about you so much,” Jimin assured.

“How do you know?”

“Did you see how defensive he got on our date? Thinking about it now, I think he was jealous.”

“Jungkook jealous? Sorry, that isn’t possible.”

“I saw it in his eyes. He watched you and scoffed when I said something that flattered you. He was definitely jealous.”

“But why?”

“Maybe he likes you.”

Shaking your head, you disagreed, “No way. He likes Soomin. That’s why I’ve been setting them up for weeks.”

“Maybe he thought he liked Soomin. Has he been trying to reach out to you? Well, obviously this morning, but besides that.”

“Yeah...he climbed a tree last night to get into my room.”

“You mean he pulled a Troy Bolton?” Jimin furrowed his eyebrows and you groaned.

“Yes he did.”

‘Yeah, he definitely likes you. Even if he doesn’t realize it himself.”

“Oh,” you mumbled, staring down at your feet.

“And judging by your reaction, I have a feeling you like him, too?”

“He’s my best friend! That’s all I thought he’d be! But he started hanging out more with Soomin and less with me and yeah, I missed him but when he forgot my birthday? That really hurt. It made think that maybe soon, he’ll just forget about me and stop hanging around me because I wasn’t ‘the only girl who didn’t throw themselves at him.”

“But?” Jimin raised his eyebrows, waiting for you to continue.

“But then I realized I wanted to be the only one. I thought it would’ve been great for him to get a girlfriend but after realizing where I’d be, I don’t believe that anymore. I know it’s selfish but he’s my Jungkook, you know?”

Jimin smiled softly and nodded. “I get it.”

“Listen, I’m really sorry. I’m sorry if it seems like I led you on––”

“No, no! It’s alright. Sure, I’m bummed we didn’t work out but as long as your happy...I am.”

You beamed at your new friend and pulled him into a bear hug. “What did I do to get you?”

“You didn’t have to do anything. Thank Soomin for that.”

The mention of her name made a frown appear on your face. You liked Soomin, you knew that. But now that you felt she was replacing you in Jungkook’s life, you couldn’t help but feel envious.

“What am I going to do?”

“I don’t know but you have to think of something quickly because turn around.”

Furrowing your eyes at Jimin’s order, you slowly turned around and a look of horror found its way on your face.

“Hi,” Jungkook murmured, curtly before looking down at his feet.

“Hi,” you released a short breath you didn’t realize you were holding in.

Taking in Jungkook’s appearance, your heart sank further down your chest. Not only was his hair a mess as you’d noticed earlier, but his eyes. He looked like he barely got any sleep and the inner caretaker in you wanted nothing more than to lecture him about the importance of rest.

“I uh,” Jungkook trailed off before averting his gaze to Jimin. Biting his bottom lip, he crossed his arms defensively.

Putting his hands up, Jimin widened his eyes. “I–i’m just gonna,” Jimin pointed behind him and walked backwards with a sheepish smile. Turning your head to shoot him a look of worry, he reassured you with a soft smile and two thumbs up. He turned around and continued down the nearly empty hallway.

Jungkook sighed to himself and took a step closer to you. “Y/N.”

“Huh?” You squeaked, wondering if Jungkook had heard what you said just minutes before.

“I have something to tell you...”

As if suddenly remembering why you were angry in the first place, you crossed your arms over you chest and scoffed.

“I know I haven’t been the greatest best friend lately and I really want to apologize,” Jungkook averted his gaze from yours for a split second before turning back to you to offer a weak smile.

“Uh-huh,” you squinted your eyes and pouted.

“Listen I uh, I’m really sorry I forgot your birthday yesterday. Believe me, I was hyping it up, too! But then you kept shoving Soomin in front of me and we became friends and it just...slipped my mind.”

“Oh, so I’m the reason you forgot?” You scoffed, looking away.

“N–No! I didn’t mean it like that, I swear! It’s just, since you were matchmaking us together, I spent more time with her.”

“So now you’re blaming Soomin? Jungkook, you’re not making this any better for yourself.”

“No! Y/N, please understand! You don’t know how bad I feel. You’ve been on my mind since yesterday and now I know why.”

Scrunching your eyebrows, you watched as he twitched and began to kick at the ground, nervously. “Why?”

“Because I’m in love with you.”

Choking on your own breath, you blinked rapidly. Looking around, bewildered, you made sure everything appeared to be normal. Did you hear Jungkook correctly?

“W–what?” You turned your head and strained your ears to hear him clearly.

“I’m in love with you.” This time the words rolled off Jungkook’s tongue so smoothly and you felt his confidence rising. “You may be my best friend, Y/N, but after not being with you for an entire day, I realized how dependent I was on you. You’re the one who makes me smile and you care for me in ways no one else has.”

“I...” you trailed off, more words unable to escape your mouth.

“Besides, our last moments alone together? They’ve changed, don’t you think? From helping me with my tie to being alone in your room yesterday...is it only me or is there something there?”

Looking back on the moments Jungkook reminded you about, you felt your heart swell. You did stare at Jungkook oddly when fixing his tie. And the tension between you two the night before was definitely nothing like the environment you were used to.

You swallowed a lump in your throat, “well...”

“Well?”

“The truth is...I thought if I set you up with someone, those deeply hidden feelings I have for you would completely dissipate once I saw you happy with another girl.”

“Wait, really? Setting me up with Soomin was for you?”

“Only partially. I knew you liked her and you know me, always meddling with your life,” you sheepishly chuckled at the end of your statement, “but, uh, yeah...Your happiness was my main priority.”

“Y/N!” Jungkook whined, taking another step closer to you. “Why couldn’t you just tell me? You didn’t have to hide–”

“Actually, I did. I’m your best friend, Kook. That’s all people ever saw me as and if that ever changed, who knew what people would think of me.”

“You’re not just my best friend, Y/N. I just told you I love you and I don’t mean it platonically.”

Peering at him, you realized he was right in front of you and you suddenly felt small compared to his larger and broader build.

“You really do?” You squeaked, your cheeks as red as tomatoes.

“I do.”

“B–But...I’m supposed to be mad at you right now!” You stomped your foot childishly and pouted. How did he manage to change your mood so quickly?

Smiling boyishly, Jungkook took ahold of one of your hands. “I’ll take you out dinner every day of the week and pay. You can get whatever the hell you want but please, forgive me?”

The mention of food caused your stomach to grumble. You looked down at your stomach for a split second before smiling sheepishly.

“Okay, Kook. I forgive you,” you declared, watching the grin appear on Jungkook’s face. “But,” you held up your fee hand’s index finger, threateningly, “if you forget my birthday again, I’ll never talk to you again.”

“I won’t forget. I promise,” Jungkook grinned, swinging the hand you were holding forward so you were even closer to him.

“Uh–” Jungkook cut you off by pressing his lips to yours. You queezed your eyes shut, hoping this whole thing wasn’t a dream and you’d wake up once you pulled away.

“Is that Jungkook and Y/N?”

“They’re kissing!”

“I called it. Knew it since we were ten.”

You couldn’t help but smile against Jungkook’s lips at the comment’s you heard from around you. You thought if anything were to happen between you and Jungkook, judgement would be the reaction from others but now? You didn’t even care. All that mattered was that you were in Jungkook’s arms and the feelings you desperately tried to bury fully arose and you embraced them.

“We did it,” Jimin pulled one side of his lips up in a smile.

“We did,” Soomin nodded in agreement beside Jimin, both of them watching the entire thing.

“If it weren’t for us tangling into their lives, would they be together now?” Jimin wondered aloud, turning toward Soomin.

She scoffed, “I doubt it.”

“Hm, well, that wasn’t planned. Weren’t we supposed to be matchmade with them?”

“Yes, we were.”

“I’m kind of glad we weren’t.”

“Me too.”

6K notes · View notes

chrsticns-blog · 5 years

Text

uh ... alright ( claps ). ya’ll already know, it’s ya boi seo and i’m introducing another chara bc i clearly don’t have self control, and drunk!seo got the upper hand in this situation. ian’s my little broken baby, but tries his hardest to look put together on the outside, and i’m pretty excited to introduce you guys ! most of ya’ll already know me as being highkey Stressed all the time, so we’ll see how long i hold on to this chara before i end up in a downward spiral. buckle on your seat belts, ghouls, cause this is long as hell !

oh seo-yeun was a twenty year old drama actress when she encountered the charming and wealthy bae joon-young, the son and sole heir to seoul-based bae enterprises. they met at a club in seoul by chance, when she accidentally spilled her drink on him while they were standing side-by-side at the bar. it was pretty much love at first sight for the pair, and when they were spotted out on their first date, their relationship was soon the talk of the town.

seo-yeun was sadly seen as some kind of gold-digger by the media and insane people surrounding joon-young, but he knew that she wasn’t with him for his fortune. seo-yeun found success with her career when she landed the role as the female lead in an insanely popular drama ( of course, people said this only happened because of joon-young, but in reality sis could act her ass off ).

bae enterprises, joon-young’s family’s company, is a conglomerate of businesses that primarily work in the business of communications and ecological manufacturing ( don’t ask what that means because i have no idea ).

seo-yeun and joon-young married just three months following seo-yeun’s twenty-fourth birthday, and unbeknownst to the newly married couple, she was three weeks pregnant with their only baby boy they would later named christian.

christian was the light of his parents’ lives. seo-yeun had always dreamed of becoming a mom, and even with the scrutiny surrounding the couple ( still, because adults are actual Children ) it was clear that their relationship wasn’t going to end any time soon.

joon-young noticed how unhappy his wife was whenever she saw her face plastered on some magazine with a negative headline, so when christian was two, joon-young decided to move the family to new york. the family moved into an expansive apartment that has beautiful central park views. despite his rigorous work load, joon-young always had time for his son, and preferred to work from home, which often meant christian crashing a lot of meetings.

christian was an excellent student while growing up, and ( since the cello is one of my favorite instruments ), he was also classically trained on the instrument since the age of four. he participated in various competitions and talent shows throughout his adolescence, and he had aspirations of someday playing with the new york philharmonic. granted, joon-young’s parents would have preferred that their grandson take over he family business, but joon-young and seo-yeun wanted christian to carve his own path.

when it came to attending college, christian ended up attending juilliard after he performed dvorak’s cello concerto in b minor. while attending juilliard, christian was, of course, amongst other incredible instrumentalists, but he always had a way of standing out thanks to his flamboyance and his ability to memorize pieces shortly after hearing a piece. christian is one of the few musicians to possess perfect pitch.

christian, who prefers to be called ian, eventually graduated from juilliard when he was twenty-two and soon found himself auditioning for the new york philharmonic. he performed camille saint-saens’ the swan; there were only two spaces open and about fifty people auditioning, and after a few weeks of the audition process -- christian became a member.

of course, his parents had been ridiculously proud of their son as he was only twenty-two and had accomplished his lifelong goal, so christian gave himself a well deserved break and went out with a couple of friends for a night of celebrations. the night of celebrations ultimately tarnished christian’s plans in the matter of a few hours.

ASSAULT TW while joon-young and seo-yeun moved to new york in order to get away from scrutiny in korea, that didn’t mean that it was left entirely. as christian grew older, he soon found himself constantly being harassed by paparazzi and often the subject of unwanted attention - he knew that his family had immense wealth, but he also tried to be as normal as possible. christian has never been the type of brag about the money that his family had, and while he was able to have some of the best music teachers growing up, he didn’t expect for anything regarding his career to be handed to him on a silver platter.

unbeknownst to christian, fate caught up with him at the club almost similarly to the way that his parents met. a man named mark palmer ( how basic is this name ) was also someone who auditioned for the ny philharmonic. mark didn’t advance to the final live auditions, and for whatever reason, he blamed it on chrisian ( and not the fact that he fucked up like five times ), so be that as it may, the two ended up crossing paths again on this very night.

mark became very intoxicated while he was out with his own friends, and he spent the night badmouthing christian, so of course he and his friends were looking for a fight. christian was unaware that when he stepped out of the club to make a quick phone call that his career would be cut before it could truly begin.

mark and his friends followed ian out of the club and ended up getting corned -- when mark asked christian if he remembered who he was and christian didn’t know him, that only infuriated him more and the group took it upon themselves to assault ian. it was then that mark found an old piece of wood and ended up breaking christian’s hand.

christian’s hand had been completely shattered, and even after eight weeks following surgery to heal it, his hand never returned to normal. he went through physical therapy, but he couldn’t play his cello the way that he previously had, so he unfortunately had to let his position with the philharmonic go thus ending his career as a cellist. ian fell into a depression as it could take months or even years for him to be able to play the cello to the fullest again, so he gave up on his dreams.

he became something of a recluse, and since he was still living with his parents at the time, ian rarely went out unless he absolutely needed to. even now, three years following the events of what happened, ian is still the kind of guy who prefers to stay to himself and his hand still has yet to heal back to its full potential. he still goes to physical therapy, and instead of just sitting at home, he does spend most of his time teaching children how to play the cello at a nearby rec center ( idek if those are a thing in manhattan, but he does it ).

ian’s overall appearance can be compared to THIS and THIS; he’s not flashy by any means when it comes to his wardrobe. the most expensive thing he owns as far as his wardrobe goes is the vintage rolex his dad gave him for his eighteenth birthday and he only wears it on very rare occasions. ian gets a perm so his hair is curly, and he recently dyed it back to black. he has some tattoos, and the most significant one that he has is the little tattoo of the bow on his right outer ankle, but his most noticeable tattoo is the sleeve tattoo on left arm that he’s been working on for the last two years.

as far as his personality goes, ian’s the kind of guy who’ll take but so much before he bursts. he’s easy to get along with and he likes to have casual conversation with people. the only thing he hates is whenever he’s asked about his hand, as he still has some scarring on it. if someone does ask about it, he usually gives a pretty vague explanation but he doesn’t like it when people continue push about it. that’s a sure fire way to get on his bad side.

alright, so ( claps ). i told ya’ll this was gonna be long -- i had a lot say about my son and ya’ll better appreciate it ! i’m still working on his connections page, but i do have some ready for you guys if you’re interested in them ! as always, i’m perfectly fine with brainstorming or going based purely on chemistry, whichever you’re most comfortable with !

#wealthyhq:intro #i ... i told ya'll this was long fkjsdaf

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mahouxshoujoxme · 5 years

Note

all of them

Tsubaki lore, ya say?

(also I’m using you as her eternal bondmate, even though you aren’t back in the game yet )

Putting it under a read more bc its SO MUCH

abalone: what kind of situations compromise my muse emotionallyTsubaki is generally a bit of a bubbly, optimistic airhead, so not much will dramatically effect her emotionally unless it involves her friends or loved ones being hurt or put in danger.

aegerine: my muse’s opinion of the supernaturalShe pretends to be too “logical” to believe in spirits to cover the fact that she is 100% scared of ghosts

agate: how my muse calms downSince it takes so much to upset her, she rarely needs an outside distraction to calm herself down, but when she needs an escape from the world she will lose herself in her studies, or endlessly pester her bondmate for cuddles~

blue lace agate: my muse’s favorite form of communication (verbal, letters, texting, etc.)Tsubaki always prefers face to face communication above all else, but loves the romance and personality in hand written letters.

fire agate: if my muse is brave or cowardly I certainly wouldn’t call her a coward, but some of her “bravery” could at times be better described as naive optimism.

moss agate: if my muse has a high or low opinion of themselfTsubaki is certainly not one to brag of her own talents, but she knows she is a woman with high worth

amazonite: what kind of situations call for my muse to be dishonestShe would never lie, no matter the circumstance

amethyst: what my muse would most like to be able to shape-shift intosomething small and elegant, like a butterfly

ammolite: how lucky or unlucky my muse isShe’s annoyingly lucky

angel aura quartz: my muse’s opinion of LGBT+ issuesShe just thinks everyone deserves to live happy lives, however they wish to live them.

apache tears: a sadness headcanonNot much makes her terribly sad, but Tsubaki is a big crybaby. Both happy and sad crying happen frequently.

apatite: a headcanon about my muse’s intuitionBecause of her personality, many people assume Tsubaki is not the brightest upon first meeting her. But being a scholar and talented craftswoman, she has wonderful intuition. Whether she tends to follow that intuition, or ignore it for something more exciting is another story entirely, however.

aquamarine: where my muse feels most calm/relaxedin either her study or her workshop, surrounded by books and gadgets

biotite: the biggest problems my muse is currently dealing withWell her comrades being incapacitated and this strange voice are certainly not things she enjoys.

bloodstone: how my muse sees themself as part of the world at largeEveryone has a place, no matter how large or small. And Tsubaki is happy to have her place as a craftswoman helping her fellow adventurers on their quests.

calcite: my muse’s social tendencies (introverted vs extroverted, parties vs one-on-one conversations, etc.)Tsubaki is very outgoing and tends to try to spark conversation with everyone she meets. She wants to hear every tale every adventurer has to tell, and is always eager to swap tips and techniques with fellow craftsmen. However she tends to get a bit over excited and can be a bit much for the average stranger on the street.

carnelian: an art-related headcanonAs a practiced and proud craftswoman, Tsubaki can create masterpieces of jewelry, weaponry, armor, along with many types of decorative trinkets and statues. She can cook you any meal you could dream of, and leave your mouth watering for more, as well as brew you the purest, strongest potions an adventurer could need.

As far as the realm of visual arts such as painting and drawing, you would think she had never picked up a pencil in her life. That, however, does not stop her from trying.

celestite: how my muse deals with anxietyBy losing herself in her studies or her craft

chalcopyrite: how my muse deals with ending relationshipsHaving mostly dedicated herself to her studies and her work, Tsubaki had never taken the time to form deep romantic bonds with others, and therefore does not have much experience with ending a deeper relationship. She had plenty of friends and acquaintances from her travels, but had not developed an emotional bond of the sort until she met one certain unseasoned miqo'te gladiator, whom she bonded with through her mentor-ship and their journey together.

charoite: who my muse looks up toshe looks up to everyone, she’s pretty short (ba dum tss)

chrysocolla: a money-making headcanonBeing a master of her crafts, Tsubaki could easily bring in as much gil as she could need. She would rather, however, spend her time creating tools and gear to help out her fellow adventurers and will accept no coin for most of her work.

copper: how I think my muse will end up when they’re olderAs a scholar who wishes to learn all of the secrets of her great world, Tsubaki does not see herself ending her life as an adventurer any time in the near future. Traveling together with her love until the end is the only life she can see for herself.

coral: how my muse views the natural worldTsubaki loves the natural world, and is very thankful for all the materials and tools Eorzea can naturally provide for her. She is always very respectful of the enviornment around her, and only takes exactly what is necessary for her work.

diamond: a sex headcanonTsubaki views physical intimacy as a deep bond, only to be shared with the one most important to her. She prefers long, slow love making to quicker, rougher experiences.

dolomite: a sleep headcanonThough her bondmate could curl up on the bed asleep all day, Tsubaki would refuse sleep entirely if she could. Araragi often has to carry a sleeping Tsubaki to bed from her study deep into the night.

emerald: how my muse tells someone they love them without wordsTsubaki tends to show her love through her craft, leaving small treats and trinkets about for her love to find and take with him on his journeys.

fluorite: what my muse’s room looks likeHer room is full, every surface buried under piles of books and research materials or crafting tools. Though the room is crowded, everything seems to have its own place, and moving anything will earn you a stern talking to about her “system” and how you can’t throw her area out of balance.

fossil: what my muse’s dream job isTraveling all through Eorzea to learn all the world has to offer, doing odd jobs and creating tools and goods for those she meets to pay her way.

galena: what it’s like to be in a relationship with my museTsubaki loves deeply and intensely, taking every chance she can to dote upon her beloved. She isn’t shy to show off her relationship in public and showers her love in special, one of a kind, hand-made items to help him on his quests.

garnet: what my muse’s perfect partner would beAs it would take time away from her studies, Tsubaki was never much interested in romantic relationships, until she met certain miqo'te gladiator. Goofy and a bit unseasoned of an adventurer, she took it upon herself to mentor him through his journey. Along the way she found herself falling deeply in love with him, his happy demeanor a perfect match with hers.

gold: my muse’s financial situationNever wanting for anything because of the value of her craft, she never saw a point to accruing finances in the form of excess coin.

hematite: how squeamish my muse isGenerally her want to learn and her curiosity overtake any squeamish tendencies

iddenite: how much of an “inner child” my muse hasbasically, she baby

iolite: my muse’s drinking habitsTsubaki does not prefer alcohol, but would not necessarily turn a drink down. She is, however, a major lightweight.

jade: if my muse would ever cheat on a partnerabsolutely not.

jasper: what my muse would be like as a parentAs she wants to spend her life traveling, Tsubaki never had a want for Children. If she were to ever have them though, she would love them just as deeply and intensely as she does her bondmate, making sure they were always cared for and never wanting for anything.

kyanite: an anger headcanonNothing can make Tsubaki truly mad beyond her loved ones being hurt. However if you are the one to cause her loved ones pain, you will face her endless rage.

lapis lazuli: where ‘home’ is to my museAs a traveling adventurer, she does not have a true place to call home. She does, however always make it a point to return to the restaurant and guild hall her free company calls their headquarters.

lodestone: what kind of people gravitate towards my museBecause of her outspoken and bubbly demeanor, Tsubaki tends to draw people in of all types.

malachite: what my muse as a child thought they would be when they grew upGrowing up on the Steppe, Tsubaki always dreamed of leaving to see what the would outside had to offer.

mica: what my muse views as their worst personality traitTsubaki is always worried she is not strong enough to protect the ones she loves, always studying as hard as she can to further strengthen her healing magics

moonstone: my muse’s opinions on outer spaceIf she can study something about it, she is interested in it

mother of pearl: if my muse tends to lift people up or bring them downAlways an optimist, trying to bring the best of those around her, she will always try to lift up those around her

nebula stone: how good my muse’s memory isTsubaki has a near photographic memory, which helps in her studies greatly.

obsidian: which of the seven deadly sins my muse would behonestly my bab is so pure i dont have an answer to this

opal: how creative my muse isTsubaki is overflowing with creative energy, spending every free moment not devoted to her studies tinkering with some new creation.

pearl: a mental health headcanonTsubaki knows that keeping good mental health is essential to maintaining her studies, and thus makes sure to take plenty of time to ensure she is always treats her mental health well.

petalite: what my muse would do if they found a wallet on the streetTsubaki would absolutely search endlessly until she found the owner.

pyrite: a physical health headcanonIn order to continue her travels, Tsubaki keeps herself in top shape.

quartz: how my muse thinks other people see themTsubaki never much cared what others think of her, but she thinks in general people view her in a positive light.

rhodonite: if my muse prefers elegance or convenienceKnowing that long travels sometimes require more convenience than elegance, but also being a craftswoman who has an appreciative eye for elegance, Tsubaki tries to use her own skills and knowledge to create new gear that combine the two as best as possible.

rubellite: if my muse has any 'triggers’ that inspire painful memoriesNot really, Tsubaki is probably the only character I’ve ever written that doesn’t have a tragic uwu backstory

ruby: a happiness headcanonHappiness for Tsubaki lies in being surrounded by those she loves, and being free to roam and journey as she pleases

sapphire: if everyone my muse knew was hanging off a cliff and they could only choose three to save, the rest certainly dying, who they would chooseShe would absolutely never chose anyone’s life over another’s. Tsubaki would fight endlessly to find a way to save everyone, even if she would lose her own life in the process

serpentine: how my muse would seduce anotherTsubaki has never been one for romance or physical relationships, she she is very inexperienced. Intimate encounters with her bondmate tend to be very clumsy and innocent.

silver: if my muse prefers masculinity or femininityTsubaki is extremely feminine.

tsavorite: if my muse believes in destiny or fateTsubaki believes that everyone has the power to create their own future. Giving in to ideas like being stuck to one future or destiny is just someone giving up or not having the strength to fight for what they truly want, and she will do everything in her power to empower those around her to chase the futures they each truly want.

ulexite: how empathetic/sympathetic/compassionate my muse isENTIRELY. If anyone around Tsubaki is hurting or having troubles, she will absolutely take that pain onto herself and do anything in her power, endlessly to help them. Oftentimes to her own disadvantage.

unakite: what my muse’s ideal pet would beanything fluffy that will let her snuggle it and would have no problems being on the road for long periods of time.

verdite: my muse’s ethnicity/family historyTsubaki is a Raen Au Ra, though she could never stand for the secluded life of those she descended from

zebra stone: what gets my muse excitedliterally everything

zoisite: does my muse believe everything’s going to work out for them in the end or not?As long as she draws breath, she has an opportunity so solve any problem she faces.

#it took me SO LONG TO TYPE ALL THIS OUT #but it was fun to think about all this ; u ;#ffxiv #cactuar server #senjyogaharara #ask

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