Warnings: none? Crying, being called a cry baby. Sensitive female reader
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-you were sensitive, always have been, but you never thought you were a cry baby. It wasn’t until you got together with your boyfriend that you realized just how soft you truly are
-“aww, what’s the matter pretty girl?” Your partner coo’s towards you when he walks into your shared room. Seeing your blood shot eyes, mascara smeared under your lashes, and streaks of the black ink stained against your soft skin
-“such a little cry baby, hm?” despite your lover’s teasing, he hates seeing you upset, let alone to the point that tears were shed. He’d kill anybody who upsets you, especially if they called you a cry baby. Only he’s allowed to do that.
-all you manage to mutter out is a faint ‘m sorry”, using your sleeve to wipe away the evidence of your feelings.
-“tsk, none of that baby” his words are soft, devoid of his usual taunting nature. He climbs into bed, wrapping his arms around you, pulling your small frame against his chest.
-you always felt safe around your boyfriend, allowing yourself to be completely vulnerable with him. Which, of course, causes you to let out a soft sob and a few more tears, forming a small wet spot against his shirt.
-you relax further into his chest, feeling a large hand move up and down over your back, something he took to the first time you cried in front of him. Something he does to keep you grounded. Focused. Calm.
-“come on, talk to me mama. Let me know what upset my baby.” His voice is gentle, his tone full of patience as he waits for you to catch your breath.
-he’ll never admit it, especially to you, but he loves this. Loves being able to be the one to make you feel better, allowing his own vulnerability to show, which goes against his tough nature. It only fuels his need to protect you
-he loves nothing more than having a cry baby as a girlfriend.
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SATORU, Suguru, SUKUNA, TOJI, Choso, Renji, KENPACHI, Kakuzu, Hidan, OBITO, Zetsu, Kisame, pain, orochimaru, + whoever else you see fit ^.^
Well, more like the father and daughter duo but feral duo fits better for them. Anyway, I really haven't drawn Kakuzu in like..2 years lmao so I decided to draw Kakuzu with his (only) daughter Akane! I originally was gonna add her hyena Tsunami but I couldn't figure a right pose for her, nor did I think it fit :/
Honestly despite him not being in her life much, she still loves him, but anytime they argue she pulls the "You were never there" and "you were never in my life" cards. They have a pretty good bond and such.
Akatsuki headcanons nobody asked for ^^ mostly modern ones
Kakazu has lucky socks for when he goes gambling
Sasori tans really bad. He turns bright red. To which Deidara laughs at since he tans perfectly.
Hidan’s hair is crusty from all that gel he uses. Like man doesn’t wash it was it till the weekend.
Kakuzu secretly likes drag shows.
Deidara has an hearing aid but keeps taking it out so mostly uses sign language
Konan and Itachi have cooking competitions and the rest of the Akatsuki are the judges. They both become scary so the Akatsuki are wary who to pick as the winner.
Orochimaru is non-binary they’re also into drag.
Deidara is a vegan since he likes animals so much. He definitely judges when he sees one of them eating meat especially in front of his birds.
Sasori is allergic to peanuts
Kakazu has many sugar babies but is super cheap with them. He only gives extra to Hidan <3
Hidan has a cult on Twitter but 85% of it is him on separate accounts 💀. He gets banned every month.
Obito has a prosthetic arm and eye. But sometimes he forgets to put on a patch or his eye. When starts getting weird looks then he realizes XD
Pain and konan have lots of pets mostly dogs
Deidara and konan steal each other’s clothes with zero remorse. In fact they meet up with each other with each other’s clothes on.
Konan: is that my shirt?
Deidara: those are the boots I’ve been looking for
Konan: dude
Deidara: bro
Sasori likes murder mysteries and is into taxidermy(very interesting hobbies put together)
Kisame’s food is always getting taken. Like he hides his food in the ceiling and floor boards and it still gets taken.
Kisame: alright who ate my leftovers?
Deidara with a mouthful of rice: I don’t know man
Zetsu: with a chicken wing in between his mouth: not sure
Hidan with sauce all over his mouth: uh did you check the outside fridge?
Zetsu is anti vegan because they think plants feel pain. Deidara and Zetsu constantly fight about animal rights and plants.
Konan is very much into spirituality and stuff to which Hidan thinks is creepy. When he gets on her nerves she threatens to curse him.
Kisame is an activist to animal rights mostly marine though
When Obito first met Deidara he tried sign language and accidentally said something rude with his hands and Sasori was just like: 😦 while Deidara was like: gasp
Pain and madara fight over who’s the better “father” of the Akatsuki. Madara tries to win them over by presents. Like this mf really bought Deidara,hidan, and sasori a car. It currently just sits there at madara’s place
Kisame may seem intimidating and like nothing gets to him but he hates spiders. Like jump onto the table cuz of them. Itachi is always the one to kill it.
Itachi secretly follows his brother or gets bodyguards when his brother is out the home. Sasuke has been known but hasn’t said anything yet.
Konan is a pole dancer. Deidara and Hidan go into her closet and wear her 10 inch heals. Hidan eventually broke an arm trying to walk in them.
Sasori forgets to blink so the Akatsuki have to remind him to
Sasuke hates being around the Akatsuki he tries to avoid them as much as possible.
Did I mention sasori has a very detailed obsession of murder?
Itachi got the worst asthma. Whenever he gets stressed he’s reaching for his inhaler which is all the time.
Kakazu Works 3 jobs he doesn’t even need three jobs but he’s obsessed with money so…
Kisame has a bunch of cultural tattoos from his village
Zetsu likes to hiss at people💀
Madara is that rich aunty that never gets invited yet still comes and ruins the entire function.
Itachi has too much time on his hands so sometimes he sews sweaters for Sasuke to which Sasuke always wears 💗
Sakura: Sasuke it’s 90 degrees please take that sweater off before you have a heat stroke
Sasuke: I can’t…
Naruto: why? It looks dorky anyways
-naruto later went to the hospital for a broken nose. Don’t disrespect Itachi’s sewing🙄
Obito is honestly a jello mess around rin no matter how long they’ve been dating.
Obito, deidara, Kisame, and Konan all like kpop. Like they really be out here jamming to fancy by twice!
Hidan is illiterate…I’m sorry but that man can’t read to save his life
Kakuzu eats meat raw….yeah raw. He’s too lazy to cook it all the way. Cuz money is time or however that quote goes
Konan grows a single grey hair every time she’s with Hidan. He makes her head hurt but they’re buddies when they go to bars
Itachi is brutally honest he just says it in a kind way so it doesn’t come off too hard. 😌
Deidara and Sasuke have mad beef with each other. They wore the same slipknot shirt one day at the mall…(they were both shopping for eyeliner)
Pain has tattoos of all of the Akatsuki members names since he feels he’s the dad of the group. Of course kakazu was like…I’m older than you
Kakazu doesn’t understand memes like at all.
Kakazu: I had the worst yeet today or whatever y’all young people be saying
Hidan: ?????
Sasori is a picky eater. He only eats chicken tenders and strawberries. He only eats kisame, Itachi, and konan food because the rest suck at cooking
Hidan learned sign language to curse Deidara out when he realized he was deaf.
Nobody: Hidan curses you out in sign language
Itachi wears the thickest brim glasses ever
Kisame sleeps with lots of plushies. He likes the comfort :)
Obito and pain like to gamble but they both cheat and both haven’t figured it out yet…idiots
Konan and rin go shopping when they’re boyfriends are gambling. They love talking about their idiot boyfriends over a cup of coffee or tea while spending all their money
Sasori’s room is filled with vintage dolls. Deidara has a hard time sleeping at his apartment especially since sasori likes making dolls that look like him😭 like sasori this why you get zero ho
Sasori also makes voodoo dolls with strands of his hair. He’s so weird lmao
Orochimaru has a boa constrictor… no they should not have one but they do cuz they can
Zetsu favorite movie is the human centipede
Madara hates orphans 🤣 but fr
Hidan and Deidara fight with kids. They really be getting offended on what an eight year old said
Obito likes romantic movies. Kakashi clowns him for it and that the fact he likes kpop.
Itachi has five minute teeth routine for all the sugar he eats
Hidan washes his face with dish soap 😟 while Deidara, Itachi, konan are having a thirty minute skin care routine
Zetsu has eaten their pet fish before…um yeah
Rin is girlboss Obito is male wife
Orochimaru goes to jail every month and gets bailed out every time
Sasori uses cursed images to express how he feels since he’s bad at wording them. So if he’s in a bad mood he’ll show a really weird photo that expresses anger. It doesn’t work 90% of the time.
Zetsu: so it’s a cat with milk on its face
Sasori: yeah
Zetsu: and that represents what exactly?
Sasori: …I feel depressed
Zetsu: oh now I kinda see it
Kakazu likes watching the Akatsuki fight so he brings up controversial topics just to see everyone fight as he drinks his wine. Free entertainment
No one likes orochimaru yet he still comes to every event. Which is just awkward for everyone
Obito Tries to seem more young with slang and memes yet it’s just awful
Obito: we’re going to get lit at this party? Right homies?
Deidara ripping out his hearing aid
Hidan: Dude what?
Rin getting second hand embarrassment
Konan crying with laughter
Lol these generally don’t make sense but it was fun coming up with them! I literally love the headcanon of Deidara being Deaf and Obito and sasori being super awkward cute guys..they try their best. And konan and rin being best friends is literally my favorite thing ever
Kisame is more on the rougher side when it comes to fucking you but he uses his words to let you know how good of a job you’re doing for him. Always lets you know how beautiful you are during. Fucks you like a whore, praises you like a princess.
Praise KING. Constantly tells you how good you’re being and how he loves being inside you. Rewards you with anything you want during and after pleasing him. Kisses you anytime he can and anywhere he can plant his lips onto.
Hidan may seem mean but he knows you secretly love being talked down to this way. He’s also very strict on safe words due to your sessions being so intense, and constantly checks on you. Makes sure to worship you during aftercare with kisses, massages, snacks, and cuddles.
Tendril teaser! Kakuzu will be more than happy to use his tendrils to tease you and tie you up. He tends to be a bit more on the quieter side when it comes to talking but always holds his dominant energy when doing so. Praises you while also throwing demands at you every which way.
Deidara loves positions where he can admire your body and face. His favorites being missionary and you on top. This explosive loving ninja softens for you and you alone, mixing his gentle demands with praises.
Just like his artistic partner, Sasori looks at and admires your body like the true art piece you are. Tends to taunt little by little, likes demanding you to do things which will allow him to ogle at you from a different angle.
With zetsu, it’s almost like you’re fucking two different people. You get sweet nothings and praises from white zetsu, while black Zetsu degrades you. It’s the best of the both worlds with these two. His absolute favorite pet name for you is princess, because that’s what he sees you as.
With Tobi, you either get your good boy who calls you kitten or puppy while stuttering as he feels his length fill you up. Obito on the other hand ruins you. Taunts you as he calls you his whore, easily jealous if he sees you talk too long with another member and will make sure by the night you’ll remember who you belong too.
Even though Pain is the leader of the Akatsuki, and being harsh and demanding of others, he doesn’t let that follow him into the bedroom. Doesn’t care if the other members hear you, purposely puts you in positions where you can’t muffle your cries. His voice is strict but very gentle.
Konan is primarily the top with you and loves using her strap. Uses words of encouragement and affirmations to help you relax and get into your sessions as they can be rather intense with her. The purple haired beauty loves watching as you bounce up and down on her toy, playing with your tits as they move.
At this point, headcanons are just a way for me to tell stories I don't have the time to write.
That being said, Pre-Akatsuki Kakuzu Headcanon!
Before the Hashirama mission and stealing the key to immortality and all that jazz, Kakuzu was a jonin of the Village Hidden in the Waterfall. He was married and had 4 kids(Kira, Akihiro, Tsubaki, and Yue), and was genuinely a good and caring father.
When he was originally asked to kill Hashirama, he refused, aware of how risky the mission was. In response, the village elders took his wife and 3 of his children hostage, threatening to kill them should he refuse again(Kira, who was a jonin herself, had escaped).
When he inevitably failed, the hostages were killed and Kakuzu was thrown in prison. In a violent rage, Kakuzu broke out of prison, slaughtered the elders, stole their secret immortality jutsu, and stole back the hearts of his wife and children. He decided to use the hearts of his family to become immortal, and to keep them close to him.
Shortly after, he lost all memories of his family. He occasionally saw them in dreams but was unable to recognize them.
Tsubaki was very similar to Hidan(chaotic, hated vegetables, and had a penchant for accidentally poisoning himself). Because of this, Kakuzu would occasionally accidentally call Hidan "Tsubaki," which would confuse both of them.
Kira was Fu's grandmother, though neither Fu nor Kakuzu knew they were related(not that it would have changed anything).
Hand holding, an arm around you, maybe a couple of kisses. It doesn't bother him, but he wouldn't be as extreme as Hidan.
Hidan
An arm around you, a hand up your shirt, a hand on your ass. Would honestly do you in front of everyone, if you let him. If they don't like it, they can leave.
Kakuzu
He's counting his money. Maybe hand holding, but you can wait until later for anything else.
Kisame
Would hold hands, kiss, anything that isn't too extreme and private. As long as you're okay with it.
Nagato (Pain)
An arm around you or hand holding, occasionally. He doesn't like displaying affection but also doesn't want you to think you don't like him.