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#Irish Steve rogers
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A day late for st paddy’s day. Steve rogers best boi <3
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buckybarnesisjewish · 8 months
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The Winifred Barnes-Sarah Rogers immigrant mother solidarity of just picking the last name of a random U.S. president to be the Anglicized middle name of their respective sons Ya’akov and Stiofán.
YES!!! I have long cherished the headcanon of bucky being named after the president bc his parents thought it was a good "american name" and i love the idea of sarah doing that as well. imagine Winifred and Sarah meeting for the first time at Ellis Island with their babies in their arms...
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hainethehero · 5 months
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Bucky shouldn'tve been in there. Steve's room.
But the idiot had been avoiding him for three months now. And so he thought he'd pay a visit. Unfortunately, Steve was off doing God knows what so, he thought he'd laze around by the time, wait for his pal. It had been about an hour, when he'd heard something clatter from inside Steve's bedroom.
He quickly put down the coffee he'd helped himself to and gingerly approached the location of the sound. Steve's room smelt of sweet vanilla and peppermint. It looked cosy, soft white walls, a king sized bed with baby blue quilts and even softer looking pillows. The walk-in closet door was slightly ajar, with the sleeve of a plaid shirt poking out and a pair of running shoes just on the threshold.
Must've been in a rush this morning, Bucky thinks with a fond huff.
He walks over to the side of the bed closest to the window where the curtains are billowing like sails in the wind. Steve must've really been in a rush to leave his window open. He reaches out to shut the window when something shimmering on the floor catches his eye.
It's a small book. Leather-bound and tan with gold script embossed on the front. Bucky's mind provides a memory of Sarah Rogers walking with it everywhere she went. Of tiny Steve reading from it while he waited at the hospital for his mother after her evening shifts. If memory served him correctly- and these days it occasionally did- they'd buried the prayer book with Sarah when she died. Steve had told him to.
He must've really searched for this one then, Bucky realizes wistfully. His chest twinges at the thought of Steve waking up from the ice, lost and confused and trying his best to find anything and anyone to reconnect with his past again. Then he frowns. If Steve was so desperate to reconnect with his past, he wouldn't be avoiding Bucky right now. It's a bitter thought that seems too harsh in the soft and peaceful aura of Steve's room, so he quickly picks up the book. He eyes the open Bible on Steve's nightstand, a blue-beaded rosary with a celtic cross resting atop crisp pages.
Steve had never been as religious as his mother, but perhaps the future had changed his mind. Bucky knows it had changed him. Maybe Steve thought that going back to his Irish catholic roots again would somehow bring some closure. The thought doesn't comfort Bucky nearly as much as it should, because he knows Steve's been avoiding him, the one person who could probably share in his despair and loneliness and grant him some closure.
He sighs, moving to rest the prayer book back on the nightstand when he notices a word just barely concealed beneath the raised cover of the small prayer book.
Bucky. It says Bucky.
He frowns, reaching for the book again, every voice in his head screaming at him to leave it alone. That this was Steve's private stuff and he shouldn't be prying like some crazy obsessed person. But a part of him- the part that sort of resented Steve for avoiding him like the plague- won out. He opened the book.
Bucky's Prayer, it said, written in Steve's semi-neat scrawl.
The next line is a subheading that reads, "Prayer for Forgiveness."
It goes, "Jesus, forgive my sins. Forgive the sins that I can remember, and also the sins I have forgotten. Forgive the wrong actions I have committed, and the right actions I have omitted. Forgive the times I have been weak in the face of temptation, and those when I have been stubborn in the face of correction. Forgive the times I have been proud of my own achievements, and those when I have failed to boast of your works. Forgive the harsh judgements I have made of others, and the leniency I have shown to myself. Forgive the lies I have told to others, and the truths I have avoided. Forgive me the pain I have caused others, and the indulgence I have shown to myself. Jesus have pity on me, and make me whole."
Bucky knows it from the many times he'd go to church with Steve. Prayers for forgiveness were particularly popular during war-times as many women, children and men who weren't able to join in the war effort were encouraged to pray for their soldiers on the front lines. Steve used to tell him how he knew his mother would go to confessional, to pray for her husband and her ailing son. She often asked for forgiveness. As if it was her fault the way things had turned out.
He reads a line from the prayer again, one that Steve had underlined in blue ink, an anger building within his chest.
"Forgive me for the pain I have caused others, and the indulgence I have shown to myself."
Did Steve feel that way? And why the hell was it called Bucky's Prayer?
He turns the page and sees another subheading, "Intercession." He knew that as the part where the preacher would ask the congregation to say specific prayers for certain things and people they'd wished to pray for, or intercede. The next few lines make him sick.
"For Bucky,
I pray that his mind is healed in totality,
I pray he feels whole again,
I pray he feels loved again,
I pray he never feels alone again,
I pray he never has nightmares again,
And I pray he forgives me for my transgressions, for the pain I've caused him, though I don't deserve it. Amen."
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okay so a little bit of obscure speculation - my ex boyfriend is from Cork and was a BIG fan of captain america bc of the whole Irish thing. turns out in some versions of canon, Steve was born ON THE BOAT between Ireland and the US, which technically makes him an Irish citizen because being born in international waters makes you a citizen of the country your parents are from apparently???? anyway imagine how complicated that would make things if Steve was technically an Irish citizen but acting as captain america in the US army
Imagine Steve having to try and take a US citizenship test in order to get officially naturalised?? like imagine the poor examiner who has to try and make Captain America prove he's American enough?? (they'd probably have an aneurysm) 
Or imagine the uproar if someone accused him of not upholding American values and he's just like 'yeah no shit sherlock I uphold Irish-American values" or if he was like 'hey can I get dual citizenship that sounds like it'd be neat' imagine the US gov shitting its pants after trying to threaten him if he acts up and he's just like 'fine if you need me I'll be drinking guinness in the other country I could be a supersoldier for.' 
Seriously so much of the twinkly-eyed witty lil shit Steve in fanfic I'm just like... that's so Irish of him.
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pedropascll · 1 year
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Bilingual Steve Rogers raised by an Irish mother in Brooklyn would of course use his second language with people around him.
He'd say, "póg mo Éireannach-Meiriceánach thóin," with a kind smile.
Bucky, who'd heard that beautiful phrase before, would just shrug at whoever it was directed at, "it's a compliment, I swear."
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chekhovs-slinky · 2 years
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guys you don’t get it Steve speaks Irish he does we just haven’t seen it yet because everyone forgot to tell him Irish people aren’t oppressed anymore bro trust me please—
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creativealmonds · 9 months
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Steve Rogers: What Was and What Is
Warnings for mention of rape. It’s mentioned and used as an example. I’m not saying the person was right; he was wrong, and nobody deserves that and never will deserve that. 
Modern Steve Rogers and Steve Rogers 1930s addition meet. 
It could be a dream, or it could be time travel bullshit. Endgame or pre-civil war shenanigans
Steve, 6’2, 240 lb, strong and healthy as an ox and horse, respected and admired; meets Steve, 5’4, 95 lb, a disabled, sickly scrap of a kid with too big a mouth and not enough sense to step down.
The way I see it, in the first movie, Steve wanted to be somebody more than himself. Somebody that people would listen to. Bucky tells him, “You’ve got nothin to prove.” But in Steve’s eyes, he wants to be respected without having to kick and fight for it. People see him and see a weak man; to those people, the weak are not respected. 
Post serum Steve has that respect, but it’s respect for Captain America. The personality and persona of the first Avengers movies, “Language!”, of that white, American man, not from anywhere specific to America, just America, that stands up for American beliefs. The people like Coulson want him to sign stuff and speak on behalf of their causes, not because they want Steve Rogers’ opinion but because they want Captain America’s backing. 
Steve gets the respect he wanted, along with hero worship, awe, and someone who is not a person but a title, a set of ideals. 
In Greek mythology, Zeus sleeps with moral women, with and without their consent, and Hera punishes the women and their children for this. On a moral, human level, Hera would be a victim-blaming shrew, and Zeus would be a serial rapist. 
But the Greeks weren’t interested in what these people would be as people. Zeus and Hera are mouthpieces that the authors are using to get a story across. The gods in ancient Greek myth weren’t good; they weren’t ideals to strive for; they were a reflection of the world they lived in. 
The Ancient Greeks didn’t treat women well, and Zeus reflected that. Hera was the goddess of marriage. Anyone breaking their marriage vows would have desiccated her domain. 
Captain America is like Zeus and Hera in the way his image has been used for years to oust certain ideas and beliefs. He’s respected, and people listen when he speaks. 
There’s a purity to Steve in the first movie; he’s an idealist who believes in the good of others. By the time he goes back in time and steals the tesseract from himself, he’s tired and worn out. Slowly, we see him change from an idealist to an idealist that knows that ideals can’t change things on their own. 
He knows he has power. In civil war, all he has to do is ask people to join him, and they do. Some of that is Captain America mystique, but once the rose-tinted venire comes off, people see the same Steve Rogers from 1930s Brooklyn.
I wonder sometimes what he thinks about. “Would they listen to me if I didn’t look like this? If the serum had kept me the same size, but I still got the strength?”
Because he was disabled. He wasn’t given the time of day. Some fans speculate that he was premature, and his mother might have been told to let him die. That he was too much trouble, that he would have too many health issues, that he would cost too much money, and that he wasn't worth keeping alive. Some fans speculate that he is an Irish Catholic, the son of immigrants. In that time, being an Irish immigrant was bad enough; add Catholic on to it, and he’s fighting an uphill battle starting at the bottom of a creek. A poor kid, disabled, and part of a marginalized group would crave respect—to be looked in the eye and not seen as some bug under someone else’s shoe. That type of thing isn’t easily forgotten. 
I can see pre-Steve seeing his future self, what he could be, and asking questions. How did this happen, when did it happen, and what changes? The man he wanted to be is standing in front of him.
Post Steve is seeing who he once was. A kid that doesn’t know what the world can throw at him—the world war, fighting best friend, dying, getting thrown in the future, several alien invasions, super hero shenanigans—is green, naive, and hopeful, and he sees how far he’s come. He’s still Steve “I can do this all day” Rogers but that shine has come off the world. He knew it was there before; he lived in America during the Great Depression and World War II and didn’t take shit from bullies. He knows that the world is cruel. And that sometimes you can’t stop people from being hurt, that you can’t fix things, and that no matter how hard you fight, you can lose everything. 
I want to see how future Steve would see his past self and how past Steve would see his future self. The wonder and not quite belief that this person is you. The nostalgia and reflection of what made you who you once were. 
If a fanfic got written about this or something in this ballpark, I would read it immediately.
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pooslie · 1 year
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Happy St. Patrick’s Day! ☘️
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mslaevateinn · 1 year
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Nuige, Tír na nÓg - A MRBB Creation
Title: Nuige, Tír na nÓg - A creation for the @marvelreversebigbang Artist: @alwaysabrighterdarkness Author: @mslaevateinn
Rating: T (No Archive warnings) Word Count: 3707
Pairing: briefly: Steve Rogers & Natasha Romanov, Steve Rogers & Sam Wilson, Steve Rogers & Bucky Barnes Characters: Steve Rogers
Tags: Not Endgame compliant, Canon divergence, Post second Thanos battle, Stones mission, Steve pov, hurt no comfort, fantasy elements, mythology elements, Irish Steve 
Summary:  Steve ran. He ran as fast as he could, as far as the night allowed. He didn’t know if he had been followed or if he would ever be, but he could not take any risks. He had a mission to complete, and failure was not an option. Who knew what could happen if these bandits captured, or killed him? If he failed? 
Only one stone out of place could have severe repercussions. Strange had insisted on that. 
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gay-jewish-bucky · 10 months
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Public Service Announcement to Marvel Fans
Sarah Rogers is from Ireland, she is Irish. Her son, Steve Rogers, is Irish-American. In addition to speaking English, they'd likely natively speak Irish. They would not natively speak Gaelic.
While both Irish and Gaelic are in the Goidelic family of Celtic languages, they are two entirely different languages, spoken in two separate countries, both of which have their own separate histories and cultures.
Irish (also known as 'Gailege' in the Irish language, or less commonly and very confusingly 'Irish Gaelic' due to very poor anglicization*) is the language of Ireland and spoken by the Irish people.
Additionally, any translation resources you utilize for 'Gaelic' as a language will not give you the Irish language, because in English the word 'Gaelic', when referring to one specific language, refers only to the language of Scottland.
'Irish' is the conventional English term for the Irish language.
*Calling Irish 'Irish Gaelic' is very insulting to Irish speakers who fight to keep the language alive, as that name comes out of centuries of English ignorance and subjugation of all aspects of Irish identity and culture.
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lavenderpanic · 8 months
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My great-grandfather was born in Brooklyn in the 20s and I feel like this fandom needs to read an excerpt from his memoir:
"On Sunday, after doing half a day’s work, I’d go home, wash, and change my clothes and with a couple of my friends, we’d go to Coney Island. The West End or Seabeach line took us from Canal St., Manhattan, to Surf Ave., Coney Island. I’d try not to spend the entire dollar there. I always saved at least one nickel for the train and one nickel for my mother. I never failed to bring Mom a bag of colored popcorn. She loved it and I never disappointed her."
IS THIS NOT SO STEVE CODED 😭😭😭😭😭😭
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intelligentbees · 2 months
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Kiss Me, I'm Irish
Steve wasn't sure what made him say it, to be honest. Under most circumstances, he'd seriously like to believe he was better than this.
It was probably a mixture of things. The fact that it had taken him several days and multiple financial bribes by Natasha just to get him to wear the damn thing, for starters. Also the fact that she'd absolutely assured him it would get him out of the 6 month no-sexual-contact slump he'd been in for the last... well.
You can take an educated guess as to how long it'd been.
Anyway. He'd been wearing the ridiculous 'kiss me I'm Irish' shirt for 10 hours of the 24 that made up St. Patrick's Day, and yet still no-one had approached him during that time. Steve was beginning to think that maybe there was just something seriously wrong with his personality.
He'd gone out shopping with the shirt on. He'd had a drink with Bucky wearing this shirt - and yet it was Bucky, somehow, who had managed to get the number off a talkative woman who'd sat alongside them while they'd been sinking their traditional St. Paddy's Day Guinnesses. Not Steve. Bucky hadn't even showered that day, let alone worn something that was begging strangers to throw themselves at him.
Honestly, it wouldn't have bothered him under most circumstances. Steve Rogers was not the kind of man to to get pissy about being overlooked - Lord knows he'd been dealing with it for most of his life before the serum. It was just the fact that Natasha had been so sure it was going to work. She'd gone and gotten him all hopeful for nothing.
He was a humble man - but seriously, he was at a real risk of developing some sort of complex from this, and there was already enough of that in the Avengers already, thank you very much.
It was this, ultimately, that caused his sour mood during the team dinner. And this which also caused him to say what he said.
Bruce had been passing him the garlic bread, as any polite person would do at a dinner setting. He'd noticed Steve was uncharacteristically quiet that night, and Steve hadn't wanted to say that the garlic bread was the wrong brand to what he normally loved, he hadn't wanted to say that there'd been a gnawing, desperate want in him for the last 8-odd months of living in the Avengers Tower, brought about by the constant sight of sharp brown eyes and fast hands and a razor sharp, quick-witted tongue.
So when Bruce had asked him what was wrong, Steve had instead gone for the one thing that seemed easiest:
"I've been wearing this stupid shirt all Goddamn day and no-one has kissed me yet."
It was childish. Uncharacteristic. Steve could see immediately that Bruce regretted even asking - because honestly, how the hell did you even respond to a comment so infantile? And Steve knew that - he knew it as soon as he said it, because he shook his head, cursed his stupid instinctive honesty, and opened his mouth to begin to try and pass it off as a joke. A silly, ironic comment, brought about by too much Asgardian-infused alcohol and mixed with a healthy amount of sexual frustration.
Unfortunately, someone rather important had heard his commentary.
"You've not been kissed all day?" Said Tony from across the room, where he'd just walked through the door. He was wearing a suit, the same way he always did - far too busy to be engaging in St. Patrick's Day nonsense. But his eyes were firmly on Steve, taking in the ridiculous shirt with a small eyebrow raise and an indistinguishable look on his face.
Steve could do nothing but shake his head dejectedly, rolling his eyes and then standing up to go grab some water. Thor's mead had done a bit of a number on him - he was man enough to admit that.
"It's probably for the best," he said. (Sulkily.)
"What the fuck are you talking about?"
The sheer bluntness of Tony's words threw Steve for a loop, if only for a moment. When he glanced behind him, Tony was looking at him downright incredulously.
"Steve," he declared, "if someone like you wears a shirt like that and does not get to at least second base, then it's technically classed as a crime against humanity. I hope you know that."
Steve just shrugged defeatedly. "Go take your case to the International Court of Human Rights then," he muttered, pulling a sip of water from his glass.
There was a moment of quiet. Steve knew he was probably imagining it, but he thought he heard Tony splutter a little bit.
And then, of course - in the way that Tony often did - he had to go and change the course of history forever.
There was a dull thunk as Tony dropped his suitcase at the door. Then the sound of very confident, very determined footsteps. At this point, Steve was still facing the faucet, but once he heard those same footsteps rapidly begin to approach him, he thought it prudent to turn and face them. Call it the soldier in him.
He was met with a faceful of Tony Stark, stalking up to him as if there was some sort of fundamental problem that needed fixing. A glitch in his software that he quite simply could not live with without rectifying.
In a way, it was very Tony.
There was a singular moment where Tony looked at Steve's stupid shirt and paused. Where he considered the implications, just for a moment. But Tony was Tony, and to him, the future was always simply another problem to be solved later,
"I'm sorry," Tony said bluntly, and he sounded slightly raw-edged, like he'd been speaking in meetings for too long or pretending to be someone else just a little too authentically, "but I can't let that injustice go on any longer."
And then, without a moment of hesitation or doubt, Tony curled his fingers around Steve's neck, pulled him in, and kissed him.
Steve had a small, infinitesimal moment of panic where he thought of what was going on - what he was doing with his teammate, with the man he went to war with every other day - but that voice was quickly silenced by the pure, sheer relief that came with kissing Tony Stark. The utter euphoria of feeling his world suddenly slotting into place. This was a puzzle piece that Steve had not even realised was missing until he'd plucked it from under the rug.
Tony kissed like it was the last thing on Earth he'd ever do. His confident fingers wound their way into the short hairs on the back of Steve's head, pushing him further into the confines of Tony's mouth, the dangerous allure of his tongue, Christ, Tony could sure as shit make a kiss work in his favour. His three-piece suit was soft, well-made, but his skin was better. The scratch of his beard was something Steve had fantasised about for months and yet never known until that very second - his eyelashes batted up against Steve's brow bone, his lips were soft and tasted like the coconut moisturiser he always wore.
Steve could only make a small noise of shock, joy, lust, love, in the back of his throat - and then, of course, he was kissing back. His hands moved of their own volition - smoothing down Tony's defined biceps, curling across the small of the other man's back. It took him a huge amount of self-restraint from palming his hand across the taut material that covered Tony's ass.
If this came back to haunt him, Steve could just say the shirt had compelled him. It wasn't his fault. It was, however, the best kiss of Steve's life.
Tony's mouth was masterful - his teeth bit down teasingly against Steve's bottom lip, uncaring of the audience they were keeping in the dining room, unbothered by his own admission of enjoyment, pulled from his mouth in a low, seductive moan. His hands wandered shamelessly. They stroked Steve's shoulders, his jaw, before travelling south, skirting his hips and then settling authoritatively on Steve's ass. Were it any other circumstance, Steve would probably have thought Tony was hypnotised. Or possessed.
But... you know. The shirt.
Eventually, and after a hefty amount of abuse from everyone else at the dinner table, Tony forced himself off Steve's mouth. Admittedly, even he seemed dazed - even if only for a moment before composing himself.
Hands sliding off Steve's body, they quickly adjusted Tony's own suit. He cleared his throat.
"There you go," he declared hoarsely. "Fixed it."
Somewhere to their left, there was a snort of amusement. It was probably Clint. Asshole.
Steve gaped at Tony. "Thanks," he managed to force out. His voice was far, far more strangled than he'd intended it to be.
Tony looked at him for a moment, blinking slowly. He was so unbelievably attractive, and he'd just kissed Steve like that, and for a moment, Steve wondered whether he could just pick Tony up and carry him away to whichever bedroom was closest. He wondered if Tony would let him. Steve had never thought that would be the case, but God... that kiss...
"Anyway," Tony said, just a touch too loud to be casual, "I have to go do... Um. Work. Probably." He nodded, glancing once more at Steve. "Happy Saint Patrick's Day," he said softly.
And then, without another word, he walked off in the direction he'd come.
Steve stared.
Clint, Bruce, Natasha and Thor all groaned.
"Well, I'm sure that's not complicated anything," Clint said mutinously.
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chaossmagic · 2 months
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this is your st patrick's reminder that steve rogers is the son of irish immigrants and that that experience fundamentally shaped his political beliefs, social values and outlook on the world :) :) :) :)
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amarriageoftrueminds · 11 months
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"he wouldn't judge a person pre-emptively just by their Nationality" True! I probably truncated that thought a bit too much; I've always assumed Steve, based on how he grew up, would have reason to be wary of monied people like Howard. Not assumed right off the bat that he's an asshole, but be (consciously or unconsciously) giving Howard less leeway until he proves himself.
And if that was true (which I admit, is a headcanon) then with Peggy it would just be adding some of the nationality conflict along with wealth.
I don't think Steve is biased in the "let prejudice affect how he treats people" way, but everyone grows up with biases, and I like the idea of Steve being aware of that, and deliberately treating people the same even as he's internally wary or cynical or judgmental or whatever. Like, actions are the important part, both theirs and his.
And in that version of Steve, yeah it'd be how you described, "Steve would wait and see before he decides that- yeah, her class privilege and nationality have corrupted her, specifically."
Yeah given the significance of Steve being Irish + a NYer at a time when there was a lot of prejudice among Irish NYers he'd be especially on the watch for unconscious biases, slipping in and tainting his worldview. He'd make a concerted, self-disciplined effort to eradicate any of that kind of thing in himself. (Doubly so if you hc Bucky as Jewish!)
As an Irishman he'd probably be coming at Peggy with an attitude of 'let's see if this [member of group that are usually bastards] is a bastard' rather than thinking 'I assume they're fine' lol. Like he's definitely not shocked when they turn out to be horrible, is he? 🤨
The monied-people angle is interesting...
Cuz you can definitely see Steve's not interested or impressed by Howard, at the Expo, (warming up to him later), and in A1 he's got a pissy face on 'im at the very mention of Tony.
So could that shared disapproval be based on their shared wealth, or their shared sleaziness in regards to women? or both? 🤔
In Peggy's case, she was attacking a subordinate for questioning her authority (so, behaving in an authoritarian way) while being called Queen Victoria(!) within seconds of being introduced.
So that shouldn't bode well for the view of her held by a properly Irish and in-character Steve.
IMO, Steve smiling at that suckerpunch was waay OOC just so they could cram in a comphet spin even when it's antithetical to his values.
Because Peggy was telling Hodge to brace himself ready to be punched, before he made a sexist remark...
Meaning she's actually attacking him for (as it happens, correctly) questioning her authority, not -- or not just -- because he was sexist.
And Steve is supposed to believe that a) questioning authority is good, actually (but especially if he's Irish and the 'authority' in question is the Crown!), b) suckerpunching someone (just like bullies do to him!) is a Lil Bitch move, and c) that the punishment is supposed to come after the crime.
Plus, that whole Hodge thing was such a transparent 'men are scum and punching them is feminism!1' strawman for StrongFemaleCharacter Woman to knock over, it just makes me cringe.
Like Peggy is acting like the bully in the alleyway did to Steve ('how dare you, an inferior, question me?' BAM!) But it's fine because she's female? Not on Steve Rogers' watch!
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birdieart · 2 years
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some sarah rogers thoughts
(tw: eugenics, ableism)
mcu sarah would have given birth alone, likely very young (in her late teens), newly widowed, and in a foreign country. if she had a hospital birth, she would have only had the midwives, since joseph was gone by then
steve was probably very sickly early on (colic, cradle cap, eczema, fever, etc) and that would have worried her, especially if he was a small baby (very likely)
when it became clear steve was chronically ill (probably around 6-7, if the asthma, heart problems, vision and hearing issues, possible allergies, scoliosis, and anemia showed by then), sarah would have probably been taken aside and told she should give steve up to a sanitorium (a common practice with disabled children), where he would eventually be quietly euthanised, as was common in those hellholes
obviously, she didn't do that, and instead decided to work TWO JOBS during the DEPRESSION to make sure they had a roof over their heads, food on the table, and medicine and doctors visits for steve, not to mention things like books, schooling, art materials, etc she would have saved up to buy for him to make him happy, and later herself, since steve remembers his art making her smile, which is why he kept at it when he was a kid
she probably worried about him being bullied, and didn't realise her own stubbornness and fighting spirit had been passed onto him until she came to pick a 9 year old steve up from school after he got into a fist fight with a much older boy and steve told her he got into a fight because the boy was being mean to a girl and no one else was telling him to back off
(she couldn't decide if she was proud or exasperated. a bit of both. she bought steve a soda on the way home after deciding she was mostly proud of her baby being so brave)
when steve dragged bucky into the rogers apartment by the sleeve for the first time, sarah was convinced bucky was an angel sent to watch over her boy. he was so sweet, polite, and such a sensitive, kind child, with an adorable smile and a head of dark curls.
bucky ended up being less of an angel, but still someone who loved steve enough to try to protect him, even if he cried when he got hit and wasn't quite the fighter steve was. but they were good for each other. the barnes and rogers families ended up being very close, sarah and winnifred trading the boys off for sleepovers every other weekend
sarah, watching steve reach his teenage years, scrappy and hot headed, opinionated, and stubborn as all hell, realising that his life is always going to be hard because people will always look at him like he's not enough despite how fiercely he burns with his love for his family and his need to protect people like him when no one else will
steve was 14 when he got surgery for his scoliosis, and sarah waited in the hospital hallway for hours, not knowing if this new form of treatment would work or if it would kill steve in the end. refusing to leave his bedside when he came out of surgery and reading his old favourite books to him, telling bucky to stay quiet when he visited and steve was asleep.
she missed joseph, a lot. they'd come to america together, so young and unsure, but she knew he's be proud of his little scrapper - steve looked a lot like him, had the same angular features and crooked nose. as steve got older, she realised just how much he looked like joe, and sometimes it made her tear up because in some angles, it was like looking at a ghost. but when he smiled, it was all him, a little crooked, but still handsome and a little devilish.
at 17, once all the hormones had calmed down, steve stopped taking the bait for every fight and sarah had to patch up less bloodied knuckles, less cut lips, less sprained joints. but that fight was still there, simmering under the surface. steve was quiet, but had a few friends - bucky and arnie, both good kids, both of them boys she could trust with him.
(sometimes, she saw how bucky looked at steve when he didn't realise anyone was looking - the utter love and devotion in those big, sad eyes made sarahs heart clench, knowing it wouldn't be easy if it was what she suspected it was. but bucky loved steve and she was grateful for that, because that meant someone else in this world was just as affected by steve in their life as she was, even if in a different way)
when sarah got sick, she knew she wouldn't shake it. she had lived long enough to see steve graduate from high school and get into auburndale art school, following bucky who went a year earlier for their music program, and she was proud of her boy, and regretted nothing except that she wouldn't be there for the other things she imagined for him - starting a career, enjoying his adult life with his friends, maybe getting married and having a family of his own, if he wanted that (part of her thought he didn't - he wasn't the most social, and he kept to his own people, the people he chose. he was sort of like a cat in that regard, even as a teenager)
sarah rogers died, maybe not knowing the specifics of what steve would become, but knowing in her bones that he was going to great things.
she would be so, so proud of him if she saw what he became - a soldier like his father, a fighter like her, and something altogether his own, against all odds
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steve sometimes feels like his body is not his own.
like sometimes he looks down at his hands and thinks 'that's not right, they should be smaller ' with such absolutely certainty that it hurts like an ache when he realizes that his hands will never be that small again. he still buys the wrong size shirts more often than not, even after getting defrosted.
and it's not like he misses his old body — not dying every 3 weeks from an illness is so amazing. who knew breathing could feel so good? — but for all intents and purposes, it was still his body. the body he grew up with. with it's skin that bruised too easily and his wrists that looked like they would break if someone touched them a little too hard. it was that body that fought off rheumatic fever, that got through hundreds of asthma attacks, that held itself up through fights with half of brooklyn. it was his old body that got it's Last Rites 4 times. it was his old body he learned how to walk and run and live in. that made it to 21 despite all the doctors telling ma he'd be lucky to make it to 12. 
it was with his old hands he patched up becca and ruth. it was his old arms that sweet baby ‘liza loved being held in, much to the amusement of aunt winnie. it was with his old arms that he gestured wildly with when talking politics with uncle george. it was his old body that still held the impressions of ma hugging him.
it was his knobby knees and weak lungs that ran after bucky through brooklyn. it was his old body he learned how to love and hate. learned how to lift up even when the eugenicists slipped flyers under their door. it was with his old knuckles he learned how to make a punch count. it was with his old voice that he learned how to speak up, learned to make his voice heard.
these days people hear him without speaking. these days he doesn’t have to punch anyone, he can just loom and glare. they’ll run off easy enough. everything comes easy to this body. this body’s never had to work a day in it’s life. never felt the deliriousness of having a fever so high, you start seeing your da again. never felt the desperation of needing to breathe — never felt the relief, the joy, the elation, the rush of making it through another life-threatening illness.
god, all of this is so fucking stupid. who complains about not having to worry about making through the winter? who fucking complains when their body gets “fixed”? 
(steve carefully tries not to think about the word ‘fixed’. like there was something about him that needed to be remade. he is their personal frankenstein’s monster. taken apart and sewn back together, again and again and again, whenever the war effort needs more fuel. how long has it been since he was just stevie? just bucky’s babydoll? just ma’s stíofán? he’s so tired. he is captain america.)
but there’s no going back now. there’s no injection to undo the serum. he’s just gonna have to live with the fact that his shoulders will always feel too broad. there is nothing to change the fact that he had to relearn how to use a pencil again. that he’ll never tuck neatly under bucky’s chin again. that his stomach will never concave again. that his feet are three sizes up from what they used to be. he just gonna have to live with the sensation of his body being Wrong, Wrong, Wrong. 
(he feels a lot like that boy zia rosa in the downstairs apartment used to read to him about. the one they made a picture on — pinocchio. “look ma, bucky! i’m a real boy now!” except, he was real before wasn’t he? he was someone before serum. he’s a Someone now. he’ll never be himself again.)
when his plane crashes into the ice, steve knows that this is the end. that nobody will remember steven grant rogers. nobody will know bucky’s stevie — all 94 pounds of righteousness and trouble. nobody will remember ma’s stíofán — compassionate and sweet, forever trying to do the right thing. nobody will know about becca’s second big brother, ruth’s knight in shining armor, ‘liza’s favorite sleeping spot. when his plane crashes, that 5′4′’, 100-pounds-soaking-wet, kid from the slums of brooklyn will be forgotten. what a shame he thinks that kid was better than 10 captain america’s put together. 
(he sobs quietly in a darkened corner of the smithsonian when he realized he’ll never be steven grant rogers again. 70 years later and his body is still Wrong, Wrong, Wrong.) 
it would've been nice he thinks to be small without the illnesses. steve doesn’t look in mirrors anymore. 
(the day he realized he couldn't tuck himself into the crook of bucky's neck like he used to without contorting his body, he has to excuse himself into woods. he spends the next 30 minutes, hidden behind the widest tree he can find (his shoulders still stuck out slightly), trying desperately to ignore the ache in his chest. trying his best to ignore the absolute sense of certainty that he’s in the wrong body. 
bucky finds him out there 20 minutes later, staring blankly into the distance. carefully, bucky leads him back to their tent, lays him down gently, and goes about making him Better. bucky always made things better. but then bucky’s gone, brain splattered across the swiss alps and steve is horrifyingly numb. what was the point of a brand new body, of being made into a Real Boy, if he couldn’t save the only person who saw him? if he couldn’t save the one he loved (loves.)?
it had always been him and bucky and if bucky’s not here, well- then steve’s not gonna be here either. 3 days later, his plane’s crashing into the artic and his eyes are slipping shut and it’s bliss. for a moment, at least.)
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