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sebstanaddict · 2 years

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Always You

Chapter 20 - Wish You Were Here

Summary : A love story chronicling the love and life of Sebastian Stan and Female!Reader. Inspired by Sebastian Stan's recent love life.

In this chapter we'll find out what happens to reader and Sebastian as they manage their long distance relationship

Pairings : Sebastian Stan x Female!Reader

Chapters: 20 / 25 (added chapter count as I wrote more)

Chapter List >

Warning : angst, jealousy, anger, fluff

Word count : 7.6k

Brooklyn, New York - January 2022

I love the way you are

It's who I am, don't have to try hard

We always say, say it like it is

And the truth is that I really miss

All those crazy things you said (Things you said)

You left them running through my head (Through my head)

You're always there, you're everywhere

But right now, I wish you were here

All those crazy things we did (Things we did)

Didn't think about, it just went with it (Went with it)

You're always there, you're everywhere

But right now, I wish you were here

Damn, damn, damn

What I'd do to have you here, here, here

I wish you were here

Damn, damn, damn

What I'd do to have you near, near, near

I wish you were here

Y/n sat on her working corner in her bedroom, typing up a news piece while singing along to Avril Lavigne's Wish You Were Here. The song perfectly described how she felt about Sebastian. It had been about a week since he first called her. They had set up a schedule to have a video call session every night after dinner. They also constantly texted each other, especially in the mornings right after they woke up, wishing each other to have a good day. Sometimes they would call each other during the day when either one had some free time. Despite the many communication they did everyday, Y/n couldn't help but feel that she wished he was there with her. She missed being near him physically. She missed his hugs and kisses and his touch on her. Moreover, as her pregnancy progressed, her gastritis and nausea became stronger. Not another day went by that she had to take antacids for her gastritis and sniffed on eucalyptus essential oil to ease her nausea. Sometimes she wondered if she had the strength to go through the whole pregnancy. If he was with her she was sure he was able to make her feel better.

Her mind wander to the events of the past week. As part of his effort to make it up to Y/n for making her life miserable, in his words, Sebastian had bought her everything that he previously had bought for her but with an upgrade and more. He bought her an even larger TV, a more sophisticated karaoke system, and not one but two bookshelves along with twice the amount of books. He also bought her enough clothes to fill her wardrobe for every season of the year, which slightly worried Y/n as she wasn't sure the clothes would fit her after the baby comes. He had also bought her some more jewelry, beautiful and intricate gold and silver necklaces, bracelets and earrings. Some were adorned with so many diamonds that Y/n thought she could never wear them anywhere as she was afraid people could kidnap her and steal them from her. She was happy with the attention and all the things he had bought her. But none of them could replace just him being with her physically.

"Thank you so much for all you've bought for me, Iubirea mea.. I love them all.. but none of them can replace you.. and right now I just want to be near you.. you know." She said with a sad look on her face.

They were on their nightly video call session. She was sitting in front of her laptop, staring sadly at her lover who was sitting across the continent. Sebastian rubbed his beard covered chin as he looked at her thoughtfully.

"Tell you what, honey. I'll send you the next best thing after me. You'll love it!" He said with a twinkle in his eyes.

"What is it? What's the next best thing after you?" She asked curiously.

"You'll see.." he just winked at her.

The next day after that video call session, Y/n was sitting in the pantry having lunch when someone knocked at her door.

"Delivery!" She could hear someone shouting from behind the door.

That must be what Sebastian told her about. The next best thing after himself. She thought. She went to her front door, opened it and found a man standing there holding a large, tall but thin package. It was as tall as the delivery man.

"Ms. Y/l/n?" The man asked.

"Yes, that's me." Y/n nodded.

"You have a delivery from a Mr.Stan." the man said.

"Thank you." Y/n took the package from the man and signed the delivery slip. After the man left she went inside her apartment, bringing the large package with her and closed the door. She had a suspicion about what it was but couldn't believe he would actually send her that.

She walked toward the sofa, bringing the package with her. She stopped by the sofa and opened it. As the package was slowly revealed, a smile spread on her face, and when the package was fully opened she laughed out loud. Sebastian had sent her a life-size cardboard cut out of himself. His cardboard cut out was made from a picture of him back when he was shooting the movie Endings Beginnings, so it had his thick fluffy hair and short stubble. It was smiling and making an okay gesture with its hand. Y/n stared at it in disbelief, still laughing a little. Sebastian could be such a dork. A dork that she loved so much. She took a selfie with Sebastian's doppelganger and sent it to Sebastian along with a message.

"Iubirea mea.. I'm sorry, but you know that millionaire guy I told you about? He turned up at my door today! I must say he looks really good. I'm tempted.. 😉😁"

After she sent the message she put the cardboard cut out next to her TV and went back to her pantry to continue eating. Several minutes later she received a message from Sebastian.

"Don't you dare, sweetheart.. I know he looks good.. but not as good as me I bet." He then sent her a picture of himself, shirtless, wearing only a grey towel holding something like a remote control, and giving the camera a smouldering look. Y/n laughed out loud as she saw the picture. But was also slightly turned on. He looked so good with his six pack abs and muscular biceps. Oh how much she missed him.

"Iubirea mea.. you're making me speechless.. You look amazing! And yeah, of course you look so much better than that millionaire guy. But right now he's all I have.. so.." she sent him another message, teasing him.

Several minutes later he sent her another picture of him shirtless. This time he was holding a fitness equipment in his hands, looking even more fierce toward the camera. An old man was pictured standing next to him staring at him. Y/n laughed out loud looking at it. It was one of the things she loved most about him, his sense of humor. No one else could make her laugh so much.

"Alright. I give up.. I'm saving myself for you. I'm kissing the millionaire guy good bye." She sent him another text message along with a selfie of her kissing the cardboard cut out Sebastian to which he replied.

"As you should.."

Y/n just laughed reading his response. Leave it to Sebastian for getting jealous of his own cardboard cut out.

"So, how do you like it, sweetheart?" Sebastian asked Y/n that night during their video call session, referring to his cardboard cut out.

"I love it, Seb! I tried to bring him to work with me 'cause sometimes it gets lonely on the way to work, you know. But it's hard dragging him on the subway without attracting people's attention." she replied, making Sebastian laugh.

"Yeah, he's a spoiled brat isn't he.. won't even walk by himself." he responded.

"Yeah, I can't hug and cuddle him, unlike with you." she pouted.

"Also.. he smells nothing like you, he smells like cardboard." she continued, pinching her nose playfully.

Sebastian threw his head back and laughed heartily.

"Baby, it's so hard satisfying you.. now I have to think of other ways to make you happy." he said, teasing her as his laughter subsided.

"I'm sorry Iubirea mea.. I just miss you so much sometimes.. I'm ashamed to admit that I sometimes sleep hugging your shirt 'cause it has your scent." she said, turning red in the face.

"Aaaawww baby, that's so sweet.. Wait.. I know exactly what to get you." he said, his face lit up as an idea formed in his head.

"What is it?" she asked curiously.

"You'll see, sweetheart, you'll see.." he said, winking at her.

Several days after that last video call session, Y/n was sitting on the sofa watching TV when someone knocked on her door.

"Delivery!" a man shouted from behind the front door.

Y/n stood up, curious what else Sebastian was sending her. She opened the door and found a man standing there holding another tall and large package, but it was not thin this time. In fact, it was rather thick. He also gave her a separate package, a small rectangular one. Y/n signed the delivery slip and brought the packages inside her apartment. She put the small one on the coffee table and turned her attention to the large one. She pressed on it and it squished like a pillow. Was he sending her a pillow? She thought. Slowly she opened the package. She squealed in delight as the package was opened fully. Sebastian had sent her a life-size pillow with a picture of himself. It was a new picture of him as it had his current hairstyle, mustache and beard. She gave it a hug and felt so happy. She put the pillow on her sofa and picked up the small package. She opened it and found that Sebastian had sent her his cologne. Smiling from ear to ear she opened the bottle and sprayed the cologne a little onto pillow Sebastian. She then put the cologne aside and hugged the pillow tight. It felt almost like hugging the real Sebastian. She inhaled his scent on the pillow and sighed. He really was a very thoughtful boyfriend. She could never have asked for a better man to be with. She then took a selfie with the pillow Sebastian while hugging it tight with her other hand. She then sent it to Sebastian with the message.

"Me and Pillow!Sebastian are cuddling happily. We love you so much, Iubirea mea.. 🤗😘❤️"

Moments later Sebastian sent her a message. "Real!Sebastian is happy you both get along well. Tell him to take good care of you.. By the way, I'm jealous I don't have Pillow!Y/n to cuddle ☹️"

Y/n laughed as she read the message. She replied. "I'll send you Pillow!Y/n soon, Iubirea mea.. so we both have something to cuddle at night."

"Looking forward to it, sweetheart. Send me your perfume as well will you? 😉" he replied.

"Will do, Iubirea mea.. 😉" she replied.

From that night on Y/n went to bed feeling happy. Hugging Pillow!Sebastian made her sleep better. It eased her yearning of him somewhat. And helped ease her loneliness during the day as she brought it with her everywhere in her apartment. She put it on the sofa next to her when she was watching TV. She put it on the stool next to her when she was eating. She even put it on a chair next to her when she was working. It became like a child's favorite doll that she just couldn't be away from.

She ordered a life-size pillow of herself for Sebastian and sent him her perfume as well, as he had requested, much to Sebastian's delight. Every night during the video call session they would bring the other's pillow and put them next to them. The pillows made them feel closer to each other, and helped ease the pain of being so far away from each other.

Damn, damn, damn

What I'd do to have you here, here, here

I wish you were here (I wish you were here)

Damn, damn, damn

What I'd do to have you near, near, near

I wish you were here

Y/n continued singing along to Avril Lavigne's song as she finished typing her news piece. With a few taps on the keyboard she finally finished it. She reviewed it once then sent it to her boss. She then turned to look at Pillow!Sebastian who was sitting on a chair next to her and said.

"I'm finally done, Seb! We can relax and watch some movies now! Want to watch Notting Hill again?"

She picked the pillow and put her hand behind what was Sebastian's head and made it nod.

"Good! Let's go!" she picked Pillow!Sebastian up and brought it with her to the living room. She sat on the sofa and put the pillow next to her then turned her TV on. After setting it to play Notting Hill on a streaming service, she laid back on the sofa, picked Pillow!Sebastian, put it on her lap and hugged it. She was just halfway through the movie when her cellphone rang. Sebastian was calling her. It was only 5 pm, it wasn't their time yet to have a video call session so she wondered whether he was okay.

"Hello Iubirea mea.." she picked up the phone and greeted him.

"Hello sweetheart. How are you today?" he asked.

"I'm good, got some work done. I'm just watching Notting Hill now with Pillow!Seb." she said.

"Ah okay, I'm jealous." he responded.

"Well you shouldn't Iubirea mea.. he's definitely not going to replace you anytime soon. I still miss you so much even though I have him with me." she said.

"I miss you so much too sweetheart.." he said dejectedly.

"What is it Iubirea mea? You sound upset. Is there anything wrong?" she asked.

"No, it's just. I just got off a meeting with my team and just found out my schedule for the next month. It's completely packed. Even until night time sometimes. We're starting promotion for Pam & Tommy tomorrow with a photoshoot, then interviews the next day. And then I have to attend Fresh premiere Q&A too. Then more interviews for Fresh. And next week we're starting more promo for Pam & Tommy as the premiere date is getting closer. So.. I'm sorry, honey, I can't promise I will always be able to make our video call session." he said, sighing.

"Oh.. okay.." Y/n said, her heart plummeted. She always looked forward to their video call session. They didn't just talk and share news about their days, they sometimes read to each other, watch movies together, sing karaoke and even play online games together when they were really bored. It was always a highlight of her day having those video call sessions with him. So she was really disappointed that Sebastian wasn't able to regularly do that again with her. But he was working, she should be supportive to him.

"It's okay, Seb. You have work and you should focus on that. We can do the video calls when your schedule is more relaxed." she said.

"Thank you, sweetheart, for understanding. I love you." he said.

"I love you more.." she said.

"Not possible." he said, chuckling and making her giggle.

"Well, I hope you enjoy watching Notting Hill with Pillow!Seb. I'm sorry but I have to go. I have to do a fitting for tomorrow's photoshoot." he continued regretfully.

"Oh okay. Well, I hope you'll have a good fitting." she said, trying to mask her disappointment.

"Thank you, sweetheart. I'll talk to you later, okay?" he said.

"Okay, later Iubirea mea." she said.

"I love you." he said.

"I love you too." she said then they hung up, leaving Y/n felt more lonely than before.

For the next couple of days her communications with Sebastian were few and far in between. He was really busy that he only had time to text her, and it was never long, just short messages of asking how she was and declaration of I love yous. Y/n understood why he was like that, but it still hurt a little. In order to ease her loneliness and yearning for Sebastian she decided to clean her apartment thoroughly. It was about a month since she last cleaned it. Right after she found out about her pregnancy and had to be hospitalized she hadn't yet cleaned her apartment because she didn't want to get too tired. But she hadn't had any cramping nor spotting since she got back from the hospital, so she thought it would be okay for her to do the cleaning. It seemed her pregnancy was strong already.

Unfortunately she was wrong. A day after she finished cleaning her apartment thoroughly she experienced slight cramping and spotting again. Even though the spotting wasn't much, she was still worried. She called Emily and asked for her opinion. Emily reprimanded her for doing the cleaning and advised her to come to the hospital to get herself checked.

-----

"Y/n, what did I tell you about cutting back on physical activities?" dr. Selena asked Y/n the next day in her exam room.

"I'm sorry, doctor, but my apartment was so filthy. I haven't cleaned it since I found out I was pregnant. Someone had to and since I live alone no one else could have done it." she said matter-of-factly.

"I understand Y/n, maybe you should consider hiring someone to help take care of you. Like a housekeeper or someone like that." her doctor suggested.

"Because otherwise I may have to ask you to be hospitalized again just so you have someone to care for you." she continued.

"A housekeeper? Well, that never crossed my mind. Thank you doctor for the suggestion. Maybe I can just stay with my friend instead." she said, thinking of Shannon.

Her wage wasn't exactly high and she felt she couldn't afford to hire a housekeeper. Going back to be hospitalized wasn't an option. So she needed another option. She really didn't want to be hospitalized again.

"Well, if you can stay with a friend, that's great." dr.Selena said, smiling at her.

"Yes, doctor, I'm going to try to stay with one of my friends. I hope she's available." Y/n said.

"Well if she's not, let us know okay? It's better you stay here than out there alone." dr.Selena continued.

"Of course doctor, I'll let you know if I can't stay at my friend's" she said.

"Okay, I'll prescribe you progesterone suppositories again for a week. And please lessen your physical activities. I would also suggest you to ask your boss to give you permission to work from home for a full week." dr. Selena said.

"Okay, doctor." Y/n responded dejectedly.

"But my baby is fine, right?" she asked, worry apparent in her features.

"Yes, your baby is fine. It's growing healthy and strong." dr. Selena replied, smiling at her.

"Thank you doctor." Y/n said, sighing in relief.

Once she got out of the exam room she sat on one of the seats in the waiting area and picked up her cellphone. She dialed Shannon's number. It took awhile for her to pick up.

"Hello." Shannon greeted her.

"Hi Shannon.. how are you?" Y/n asked.

"I'm good, Y/n. How are you?" Shannon replied.

"I'm.. not so good.. where are you?" Y/n asked.

"I'm still in Atlanta. What's going on Y/n?" Shannon asked in concern.

"I just got out from an appointment with my doctor. I had light cramps and spotting. She advised me to really lessen my physical activities. I mean.. I had the spotting because I was cleaning my apartment. She suggested I hire someone to care for me, like a housekeeper. But I can't afford it. So I was wondering if you were in town I was thinking to stay with you. But since you're not.." Y/n explained.

"Oh, I'm sorry Y/n. I wish I was there to help you out." Shannon said in regret.

"That's okay. When are you coming back to New York?" Y/n asked.

"Well, not in a couple more months. I'm going to LA next week to shoot another movie." Shannon said.

"Okay. I hope you'll have fun. I guess I have to think of other options." Y/n said, sighing.

"Yeah, I'm sorry again that I can't help you Y/n." Shannon said.

"That's okay Shannon. Don't worry about it." Y/n said.

"By the way, I have some interesting news for you. I was gonna call you to tell you but you called me first, so.." Shannon said.

"What news?" Y/n asked.

"I'm going to be playing opposite Ana in this movie I'm shooting next week." Shannon said slowly.

"What?! Ana is going to be in the same movie as you?" Y/n asked, horrified at the news Shannon just told her.

"Yeah.. God, I really am NOT looking forward to that." Shannon said dejectedly.

"They were supposed to cast Annabelle Wallis for that part, but they changed it to Ana at the last minute. She could really pull off some strings." Shannon continued, dumbfounded.

"Well, her father is an investor at the agency. And it's also part of the deal in the new contract to get her jobs in the US." Y/n explained.

"Well that explains everything." Shannon said.

"Yeah. So she's gonna be in LA too, just like.. Seb.." Y/n said, realization dawned in her.

"Y/n.. please don't worry about that. I'm gonna keep an eye on her. Make sure she doesn't go near Seb." Shannon said, sensing Y/n's worry.

"Thanks Shannon. According to the contract she's not allowed to be near him. So hopefully she follows it." Y/n said, trying to make herself feel better.

"Yeah, as psychotic as she seems to be, I don't think she's gonna risk losing a job just to stalk Seb. She's gonna be too busy filming anyway, won't have time to do anything else." Shannon said.

"I hope so." Y/n said.

"Yeah, anyway I'm sorry I can't stay on the line too long. They're calling me back to the set." Shannon said.

"Oh okay. Sorry to bother you. Hope you'll have a great day shooting." Y/n said.

"Thanks Y/n.. and no you didn't bother me. You know you can call me anytime you need me." Shannon said.

"Yeah, thank you so much Shannon." Y/n said.

"No problem Y/n. Take care and talk to you later okay?" Shannon said.

"Yeah, talk to you later Shannon." Y/n said then they hung up.

Y/n took a deep breath and sighed. Well, she really didn't want to be hospitalized. She thought she would just stay home and take care of herself but she would try her hardest not to do too much physical activities. She was perfectly fine before she cleaned her apartment. She would just need to avoid doing that for awhile. Having made her decision, she stood up and went home.

-----

Spending time just at home and not going to her office made her feel more lonely. Especially since Sebastian stopped doing video calls with her. She still experienced spotting and cramping even after she took progesterone suppositories. Even though they were light spotting and cramping, she still felt worried. So she just spent her days lying down in bed except when she needed to use the restroom and eat. She browsed on the internet for information on her condition and some of the information she got were concerning for her. She really was worried she would lose the baby.

Several days after her appointment with her doctor she had sent Sebastian some text messages since morning, but it was nearly 8 pm and he had not texted her back. He even didn't send her his usual good morning message. She was starting to worry. So she decided to call him. Unfortunately he didn't pick up. Well, he must be really busy. She thought.

She opened Instagram and scrolled through her feed when she saw it. Sebastian had just posted a new picture of himself with Lily James. He was pictured in black and white on the cover of Variety magazine as part of promotion for Pam and Tommy. Her heart skipped a beat as she looked at his picture. He looked amazing! She thought. Making her miss him even more. She swiped on her screen to look at more pictures of him and her heart seemed to stop as she looked at him having a rather too close position with Lily. Sebastian and Lily were standing close together, their bodies facing each other but their faces looked at the camera. Lily had her hand on Sebastian's chest and her forehead seemed to touch Sebastian's temple. Y/n couldn't help but feel the familiar pang of jealousy in her chest. She didn't want to look more but she was curious.

For the next couple of minutes she scrolled Instagram only to find more pictures of him and even a video of the photoshoot. Her jealousy became even worst when she saw the video. In some parts it was showing how both Sebastian and Lily were looking at each other with adoring looks on their faces. There was one shot of Sebastian sitting down looking up at Lily with the most loving face she had ever seen while Lily was turning her head left and right making her hair fly elegantly over her shoulder. She recognized that look. The look that Sebastian gave her more times than she could count. The look he gave her whenever they just met. The look he gave her before every kiss, before every hug and before they made love. She didn't realize it but she suddenly felt her cheeks wet. She was crying. She put her cellphone down and sobbed. She tried to comfort herself by remembering him saying that whenever he had to fall in love with his co-star he would think of her. She sniffled. Maybe that was true. He wasn't looking at Lily on that photoshoot but he was looking at her. But then she remembered the unpleasant fact that Sebastian had kissed Lily once outside of shooting. And he never explained why he did it. She, stupidly, never asked him about it either. Could it be that Sebastian had feelings for Lily? She thought. She decided to call Sebastian again to ask him about it. She deserved to know after all. But Sebastian didn't answer. She wondered what he was doing that day that made him seem to forget about her. She decided to send him a message.

"Seb, where are you? Why haven't you responded to my texts and my calls? I saw that picture of you and Lily on your Instagram. So I know you're on your phone. Just.. call me or text me back okay. I hope you're okay."

She then put her phone down and closed her eyes. She tried to go to sleep but couldn't. About half an hour later she decided to send a message again to Sebastian. She was feeling restless. Why was he not responding?

"Seb.. Iubirea mea.. where are you?"

After 10 minutes and not receiving any reply, she sent another message.

"Seb.. just answer me please.. I need you.."

She then called him again and yet he didn't answer. Feeling frustrated she sent a rather emotional message to him.

"Sebastian Stan.. where are you? I've been waiting all day for you to contact me. Don't tell me Ana has something to do with you ignoring me again. Or is it Lily this time? If you don't contact me within the hour I'm gonna be really angry at you."

After sending the message she put her phone down and tried to sleep. It was about half an hour later that she finally got a response from Sebastian. It was in the form a text message.

"Sweetheart, I'm sorry, I've been really busy since morning with another photoshoot and interviews for Pam and Tommy. I couldn't answer your calls or texts because I was in the middle of interviews. I'm sorry, honey. What's wrong? Are you okay? Tell me what's wrong. Once I'm done with the interviews I'll call you okay?"

Y/n breathed a sigh of relief once she read his message. But she still felt annoyed and jealous of him and Lily. He was doing another photoshoot with Lily? Oh dear. She hoped it wasn't as bad as the one he just posted.

She wondered what she was going to say to him. She couldn't say she was worried about losing her baby. She was also doubtful of saying she was jealous of Lily. But the fact that he did kiss her outside of shooting was bothering her so much. The fact made her feel really angry at him. As much as she didn't want to ask him about it, she felt she needed to. But she decided not to ask about it through text message. She would just wait until he calls her. She decided to just send him a short message then she wanted to go to sleep. She felt extremely tired, mentally and physically.

"I'm fine.. I just.. kinda needed you.. but I'm okay.. glad you're okay. Sorry if I bothered you."

She waited for a full hour but she didn't get a reply back from him. Waiting for him to call her made her feel sleepy so she finally fell asleep.

The sound of her ringing cellphone slowly seeped into her consciousness. She opened her eyes slowly and turned to look at her cellphone. Sebastian was calling her. She glanced at the clock on her phone and it was 12 am already. She had fallen asleep for almost two hours waiting for him to call her. She picked up her phone and greeted him with a slightly hoarse voice.

"Hello.." she said.

"Y/n.. sweetheart..I'm sorry.. Did I wake you up?" Sebastian asked.

"Yeah.. you did." she replied, clearing her throat.

"I'm really sorry, honey. I just got back home. The interviews went a little too long. Are you okay? Tell me what's wrong." Sebastian asked.

Y/n sighed. She was not in the mood. She was asleep for God's sake. But she tried to keep her emotions in check.

"Nothing's wrong. I was just feeling a bit unwell. That's all." she finally said.

"Oh, okay. Are you feeling better now?" he asked.

"I think so.. yeah." she said.

"Well, I'm glad you feel better." he said.

"Yeah.. " she then yawned and Sebastian seemed to hear it because he then said.

"I'm just gonna let you go back to sleep. You seem tired."

"I am.. yeah.. tired of waiting for you to contact me all day." she snapped.

Sebastian was silent for a moment. Shocked at her sudden harshness toward him.

"Sweetheart, I told you I was working." he said, sounding a little annoyed.

"Yeah but you didn't even send me a good morning message." she protested.

Sebastian sighed. "I forgot. I woke up late and just went straight to the shower and went to the photoshoot. I'm sorry."

"Oh yeah. Another photoshoot with Lily isn't it? Did you give her the same look you gave on that last photoshoot for Variety? Cause that look was something." she said.

"Honey.." he sighed then continued. "That was acting.. the photoshoot director was yelling at us to look at each other lovingly. We're selling a love story. We're supposed to act like we're in love!" he said, his voice raised a little.

"Are you sure it was all acting? Cause I seem to remember you once kissed her outside of shooting. Did you.." Y/n faltered.. "Do you have feelings for her?" she continued, her voice shook as she tried to blink back tears.

Sebastian was silent, shocked at her question. He sighed. "No, I do not have feelings for Lily. I never did and I certainly don't now. You have to believe me Y/n."

"I don't know, Seb.. I'm such a mess right now. I think.. I think we should just hang up for now. I'm tired and I want to go back to sleep." she said, sniffling a little as she tried not to cry.

"Y/n.. is it that time of the month again?" he asked.

"What?! Oh that's real classy. Thinking that I'm having PMS when I just wanted to ask you a question." she fumed.

"I'm sorry but your behavior seems a little off and a little too emotional so I assumed.." he said.

"Well, you assumed wrong!" she snapped.

"Y/n.." he a took a deep breath. "I'm tired, you're tired, let's just call it a night, get some sleep. We'll talk in the morning, okay?" he continued.

She sighed then said "Okay."

"Okay. I love you." he said.

"Yeah, I love you too." she said heavily then they hung up.

That night Y/n went to bed feeling angry at Sebastian. Something she almost never felt in 20 years of knowing him. It really was different being just friends with him versus being his girlfriend. She wondered if she could maintain their relationship. Her world had been rocked to its core ever since she started seeing him. Having his child complicated the matter. Having a relationship really wasn't a walk in the park, she thought. It was all hard work. And she was just really tired of it all. She was at one of the most vulnerable time in her life when she needed him most, and yet he wasn't there. She wondered if things would still be like that even if his contract with Ana had ended. She had the suspicion it would. He was getting more famous, hence he would get even more busy. How was she supposed to cope with that? She took a deep breath and tried to shift her mind elsewhere. After awhile she finally fell asleep. Her pregnant body couldn't take it anymore.

-----

She waited for Sebastian to call him the next day, but he only sent her a good morning text message and an apology that he couldn't call her yet because he had some more press to do that morning. She was angry at him but there was nothing else she could do. So she decided to ignore his texts and see how he would respond. She wanted him to feel what it was like being ignored. She knew it was petty, but she was frustrated. Negative thoughts about him kept haunting her. Her pregnancy hormones didn't help either.

That night Sebastian texted her, asking if she was okay and asking her why she hadn't responded to his text messages. Ha! Starting to feel it aren't you, Seb. She thought. She decided to ignore it and go to sleep. The next day she found that Sebastian had tried calling her 15 times and had sent her several messages. Smiling from ear to ear she opened her messages.

"Y/n, darling, are you okay? Why haven't you returned my calls or texts? Please let know. I need to know if you're okay."

"Sweetheart.. are you still angry at me? I'm sorry🙏"

"Y/n, my sweetie pie.. I'm sorry if I made you angry but I have to tell you something.. about that kiss with Lily.. I need to explain it. Please please pick up.."

"Y/n.. you're probably asleep now aren't you? I'll call you again in the morning then. I love you so much! You're the only one for me, baby. Please believe me."

Y/n smiled wide reading his messages. Her anger at him slowly dissipated. She felt bad ignoring him, but still thought that he deserved it. Just when she was about to call him, he sent her another message with an attached video.

"Y/n my love, I'm sorry if I made you angry. I owe you an explanation about that kiss with Lily that Ana deliberately recorded. But before I do, I need you to see this video. I made this last night for you. Hopefully after you see it there will be no more doubt in your mind about my love for you. I love you Y/n from the first moment I saw you. No matter who I was with, it was always you that I love. You're perfect for me. And I hope you feel the same way about me."

Her heart swelled reading the message. Without waiting for another minute she clicked play to see the video. A song immediately came on.

I found a love for me

Oh, darling, just dive right in and follow my lead

Well, I found a girl, beautiful and sweet

Oh, I never knew you were the someone waiting for me

'Cause we were just kids when we fell in love

Not knowing what it was

I will not give you up this time

But darling, just kiss me slow

Your heart is all I own

And in your eyes, you're holding mine

Baby, I'm dancing in the dark with you between my arms

Barefoot on the grass, listening to our favourite song

When you said you looked a mess, I whispered underneath my breath

But you heard it, darling, you look perfect tonight

The song Perfect by Ed Sheeran played in the background. The video was showing a compilation of pictures of her and Sebastian. It showed pictures of them from back in college, posing and smiling at the camera among their friends. There were also candid pictures of just her. She was surprised seeing them as she didn't realize she was being photographed. There was a picture of her in class, a pen behind her ear as she looked to the front of the classroom. There was a picture of her in the book store she was working at taken from the side while she was cleaning some books with a cloth. There was a picture of her dancing in Scarlet Pub with Michael. There was a picture of her singing karaoke with Shannon. Sebastian apparently had taken many pictures of her discreetly over the past twenty years.

Well, I found a woman, stronger than anyone I know

She shares my dreams, I hope that someday I'll share her home

I found a love, to carry more than just my secrets

To carry love, to carry children of our own

The song continued to play in the background of the video as new pictures kept showing up. The last several pictures made her drop a tear. There were many pictures of her sleeping. Back at her dorm when he just broke up with Stephanie and Sebastian stayed the night at her dorm. At her apartment back when they weren't together yet. At the airplane when they were heading to Romania. At her apartment again after their first dinner date. And at The Time Hotel's penthouse.

We are still kids, but we're so in love

Fighting against all odds

I know we'll be alright this time

Darling, just hold my hand

Be my girl, I'll be your man

I see my future in your eyes

Baby, I'm dancing in the dark, with you between my arms

Barefoot on the grass, listening to our favorite song

When I saw you in that dress, looking so beautiful

I don't deserve this, darling, you look perfect tonight

The song continued to play in the background as videos of her dancing, singing karaoke, reading a book, working on her laptop and just giving the camera a smile played out. The last video was of Sebastian, taken pretty recently it seemed as he had the look like that in his photoshoot with Lily. He looked tired though with circles under his eyes and he looked anxious.

"Y/n.. You're the only one I ever love. The only one I ever wanted. I love you so much! Never ever doubt my love for you, okay? You're perfect for me. My heart is yours forever."

He then blew her a kiss and put his hand up on the camera. She could see the heart shaped pendant dangling on his wrist on the band of his watch. The video then ended and tears streamed down her face. He really had loved her that long, since they were kids, just like the song said. As she wiped happy tears down her cheeks her cellphone rang. Sebastian was on the line. She took a deep breath then picked up her cellphone.

"Hello.." she greeted him.

"Y/n.. sweetheart..thank God you picked up! I'm sorry about everything." He said sincerely.

"It's okay, Iubirea mea.. I'm sorry too.. I got a little carried away." She responded.

"I deserve it though. I should explain to you about that kiss with Lily. When I kissed her I was hallucinating, Y/n. " He said and he continued telling her the whole story.

"Oh my God, really Seb? Ana drugged you? She's soo sick!" She commented.

"Yeah.. she is. But the bottom line is sweetheart, you're all I think about. Even under drug influence I still think of you. And during the photoshoots with Lily, in my mind I was looking at you not Lily." He said sincerely, making her blush.

"I believe you, Seb." She responded, smiling from ear to ear. It was amazing how he could make her feel. She was angry when she woke up and now she just felt happiness glowing from inside her. It was like being on a rollercoaster being with him.

"Thank you sweetheart for trusting me and believing in me. I know it's hard being away from each other. But please hang in there. Just for another two months, honey. Then I'm all yours." He said.

"I love you Sebastian Stan." She said. That was all that she could say after listening and watching his love declaration for her.

"I love you Y/f/n Y/l/n.. so so much." He said.

When they finally hung up, she never felt more secure in her relationship with Sebastian. She was the 'one' for him and he was the 'one' for her. And it couldn't be more perfect as they were about to share their love with another soul. She thought as she caressed her slowly growing stomach.

"I can't wait for you to meet your dad little bean. He's gonna be ecstatic meeting you!" She said as she continued caressing her stomach with a wide smile on her face.

---

Brooklyn, New York - March 2022

Time seemed to fly for Y/n. Before she knew it, March suddenly arrived. She had spent the later part of January and early February staying at her apartment, taking things slow. Her spotting and cramping were thankfully gone. Her gastritis wasn't as bad as it once was. Her nausea was gone, and her appetite returned in full force. Having felt so much better, she returned to work but not for a full week. She spent 3 days at the office and 2 days at home. As it happened, on early March she was chasing a story and had to be on the field a lot. She ended up working at the office for a full week. By the end of the week she started to feel off. Her throat hurt and she had dry cough. Her whole body ached and she had a fever. She also couldn't smell and taste things very well. Suspicious that she had contracted Covid, she took a PCR test and her heart seemed to stop when she found out the result was positive. She immediately contacted her doctor to get herself checked. As her symptoms were mild, she was advised to isolate at home. She didn't want to tell Sebastian about it but after a video call session where he caught her coughing uncontrollably to the point of almost throwing up, she finally told him. Sebastian was extremely worried and wanted to fly to New York immediately to accompany her. But Y/n would have none of it.

"Seb, you still have several events in LA to attend to. I mean.. the Vanity Fair Oscar Party! You can't miss that! Besides, there's that con you have to attend too. I'm fine, I just need to isolate." Y/n said. Her baby bump was starting to show a little and she didn't want Sebastian to know just yet. Not until his contract was over. And she didn't want him to get Covid from her either.

"But honey, you're all alone there. Who's taking care of you?" Sebastian protested.

"I can take care of myself, thank you very much. Besides, my symptoms are mild. I just need to take a lot of rest, drink vitamins and eat a lot of fresh fruit and vegetables. I'll be better in no time." She said, trying to convince Sebastian not to come.

Sebastian sighed. "Well, okay. But anytime you feel worst just let me know, I'll drop everything and come there for you. Okay?" He said.

"Okay." She agreed.

As the days progressed unfortunately she didn't feel any better. She started to develop shortness of breath and fainting spells. The worst thing happened as she was on a video call session with Sebastian. Sebastian was telling her about his experience at the BAFTAs where the day before he just attended and became a presenter for, when Y/n suddenly blacked out and fainted on top of her laptop.

"Y/n! Wake up honey! Oh no no no.. don't do this to me. Wake up Y/n!" Sebastian yelled on the laptop screen, feeling like his world ended as he saw the love of his life laid motionless in front of him.

Taglist @sebsgirl71479

Chapter 21 >

#sebastian stan #sebastian stan fanfic #sebastian stan fanfiction #sebastian stan x female reader #sebastian stan x y/n #sebastian stan x you #sebastian stan x reader #sebastian stan fluff

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obsidiancreates · 2 years

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Imagine, if you will-

Heist, Illinois and Date lived as kids in Mark and Celines manor.

Their parents didn’t really give them a lot of love and attention, so essentially all the brothers had were each other- as a result they were really close

When Mark and Celine divorced, all three brothers were sent to different adoption institutions

With the context in mind, imagine their reunion as adults

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

In this scenario Illy is for sure oldest, Heist middle, Date youngest. IDK if they're triplets in this version, or just born close to each other. Whichever it is, that's the order of who's born first.

Probably triplets. Celine would not get pregnant more than once, probably didn't even really want to the first time but it was expected of the couple. Actor probably didn't really want kids either, honestly. He's too career-focused.

Anyway, the point is Illy is the oldest, and he's still got his issues being able to empathize, but he develops a sense of duty to look our for his younger brothers. No-one else will, not as well as he can.

Heist hates being babied, and he always tries to sneak out. Even as a little kid he makes friends with the Bad Kids, bad crowds.

Date just loves his brothers. He cries and screams when they're separated.

I think they'd all be under 10 when Celine and Actor split.

Illy still becomes an adventurer. He tried finding his brothers, but it's been so long with no results, and he just... likes finding things, and putting things back where they belong, back together with what they were taken from (he refuses to see the connection).

Heist keeps running with less-than-fantastic crowds. He does his first heist of some rich guy's house when he's 15, and it's a... good release for the frustrations he has from his childhood. So he pursues it. A lot. He uses his father's stage name as his moniker to get back at him and sully the name (No-one has seen Actor in years, but all of his sons know he's still out there somewhere. They feel it).

Date grows up the most normal. He likes theatre, but prefers watching to acting. Maybe he helps with set dressing sometimes, but that's the most he does. He tries to find his brothers, but in their time period it's nearly impossible.

But someday, just by chance, they all come together.

Illy is at a gala trying to convince a museum to let him take an artifact back to it's origins. Heist is at the same gala trying to steal the very same artifact. Date? Just attending with his date (who has... unfortunately ditched him).

Illy spots Heist first. He cuts himself off in the middle of schmoozing the museum director, eyes going wide and jaw dropping. Heist feels someone staring and turns to look, see if his cover is blown-

Well, there's no denying who that is. They all have the same fucking face, after all.

"Excuse me." Illy pushes through the crowd. Heist tries to duck away, he's busy dammit, but Illy grabs his arm. "You won't even say hi?"

"I'm doing something," Heist hisses.

"So am I. But it's been about... three decades?"

"... Hi, Illy."

That's when Date sees them. He's lingering by the refreshments, trying to find his meal voucher, sighing and turning around in defeat, when they catch his eye.

He gasps, tears spring into his eyes, and Illy and Heist are interrupted by him slamming into them with the tightest hug they've ever experienced. All eyes turn to them as Date weeps with joy.

Heist rubs Date's back, tears welling up in his eyes too. "Man, you've grown." His voice cracks. In his fuzzy, faded memories, Illinois was always tall and strong, more Adult and Protector than their father ever was. But in his memories Date was always tiny, carrying a kitten plushie and running around in those little baby shoes. And now here he is, a grown man. Still clinging to his older brothers and crying like all those years apart mean nothing.

Heist looks at his potential score, and then down at Date, and then at Illy.

Illy is stroking the back of Date's head, a soothing move he used to do for both younger brothers as kids. Maybe he can't quite feel the same way as his brothers do, but he wants them both safe and happy. And he's glad to see them again. Glad to hold them, again.

"We have a lot of catching up to do, I guess," Heist croaks.

#descendants of the trio au #Raised In The Manor AU of AU #markiplier #markiplier egos #ahwm illinois #ahwm mark #adwm mark #fanfic #my attempts at fanfic

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hulijingemperor2 · 11 months

Text

Xichen: A-Yao.

Yao: Huanhuan. *hugs* how's your hip?

Xichen: marvelous, sweetheart.

Yao: great. *snuggling*

A-Yao: A-Huan. Why do you smell like cooking oil.

Xichen: ask team dimple.

Yao: oh no.

Su she: he's lying.

Mo xuanyu: *sobs* the other essential oils were finished!

Xue yang: shhh, xuanyu. Lipsy is clearly suffering from brain fog.

Yao: team D *cracking up* you used cooking oil!! Oh my!

This is the most hilarious thing I heard today!

Xichen: *laughing* yes! I'm going to take another bath.

Mo xuanyu: yea, you can't be smelling like cooking oil next to Yao gege.

Su she: *rolls eyes*

Disturbing the emperor.

Xichen: and I wonder why I smell like that.

Su she: eww, don't use sarcasm.

That's Huangdi's specialty.

Yao: me? Use sarcasm? Haha.

Xue yang: we know that you're savage, Jiggy.

Yao: ah you got me. Now do you want a prize?

Xue yang: see!

Jiggy is savage.

Xichen: I find it's cute.

Anyways, see you soon, A-Yao. *kisses*

Yao: team D.

Trio: we're very sorry Jiggy.

Yao: it's ok. I love your mischief.

Rusong: hey A-Die. *sits and pours himself some tea* I'm feeling a bit stressed.

Yao: oh no! Why darling!

Rusong: I stayed to late, reading and organizing documents. *sighs* Dianxia work.

Yao: baby. *strokes head* you should get some proper rest ok.

Of course I appreciate everything you do, but rest is important.

Rusong: ok A-Die.

Mo xuanyu: he inherited that from you, Yao gege.

Yao: ah yes I know.

Little Dianxia. Do you want eyebags?

Rusong: of course not. I wouldn't look cute anymore.

Yao: right darling.

Rusong: *hugs* I won't pull an all nighter then. Love you A-Die.

Yao: love you too. *kisses him on his forehead* my sweet little hulijing.

*claps hands twice, calling his attendants in* someone, give Song'er a shoulder rub.

Yes Huangdi.

Rusong: A-Die, a hulijing tail rub too.

Yao to his attendants: you have heard your Wangzi.

Certainly Huangdi.

Xue yang: truly a diva.

Mo xuanyu: it's in the blood.

Su she: our cute little Dianxia.

Mo xuanyu: love him.

Xichen's cooking oil scent will disturb Dianxia.

Su she: oh no.

Xue yang: Lan lips better bathe good.

Let's go spy on him.

Mo xuanyu: YES!!

Su she: NO!

Xue yang: but we got the same man parts. What's the shame. And he saw Jiggy's on many occasions.

Mo xuanyu: xue yang!!!!! Song'er is in the room!!!!

Xue yang: *whispers* Xichen saw Jiggy's on many occasions.

Mo xuanyu: *rolls eyes*

Yao: Song'er. You must take it easy ok. Now when your uncle Zish and I are stressed, we would call our emotional support Jiang.

Rusong: wow! Lemme guess, it's uncle Jiang.

Yao: yup.

Xue yang: lol what did the divas do to Jiang cheng.

Su she: I like it.

Mo xuanyu: awww. Got to love the emperors, am I right.

Su she: yup.

Yao: we didn't do anything to him. And besides, he's our harem member.

A-Qing: *skipping in* hey team dimple! Hey little dimple (referring to Rusong)

Rusong: *smiling* Xiao Qing.

Xue yang: why are you out of your cage?!

A-Qing: what fking cage?!

Xue yang: watch your mouth!

Yao: *laughs daintily* Oh my.

A-Qing, how are you?

A-Qing: doing well emps!

Yao: excellent.

Rusong, why don't you take A-Qing to get some lanterns. Soon our lantern festival is coming up. And it's not any other, as it's our hulijing lantern festival.

Rusong: great idea!

A-Qing: of course, i would love to go!

And especially with rich gege!!

Yao: lovely.

Xue yang: don't steal from the vendors.

A-Qing: I'll steal your clothes.

Xue yang: you wouldn't dare.

Yao: A-Qing, other than lanterns, some cultural pieces would be sold.

You two should hurry before all the beautiful lanterns sell out.

Rusong: haha, sure A-Die.

A-Qing: wow. But I thought that you can just order your lanterns. Aren't you the emperor, Jiggy.

Yao: of course we can.

Yet it's more fun when we go out and buy. When Song'er was a child, we used to go into the town in disguise just to buy lanterns and knickknacks.

A-Qing: oh waw! You're a really cool emperor.

Yao: that's when you love your citizens, and see yourself on the same level as them.

Rusong: mhm.

Yao: now go have fun.

A-Qing: thank you!! *grabs Rusong's arm*

Rusong: sure we will, A-Die. *smile*

See you later.

*kisses his hand respectfully*

Yao: bye you two.

Xue yang: don't cause trouble!

A-Qing: I'm not a gremlin like you.

Xue yang: the apple doesn't fall far from the tree, A-qing!!!!

And feel free to kiss Rusong's dimple!

A-Qing: do you have somewhere to be!

Xue yang: Obviously. Do you think I won't go pester Rusong's hot dad.

Su she: oh my goodness. But it's true.

Mo xuanyu: we're very guilty of being simps.

Rusong: lol team dimple.

See you guys.

*secretly smirks at A-Yao*

Yao: *smiles back, then winks*

Yao: *opens fan* lovely.

Su she: indeed.

Mo xuanyu: they're really cute together.

Xue yang: I hope she doesn't spend out all his money

Yao: they'll be fine.

Zixuan: *enters* Yaoyao.

Mo xuanyu: xuan gege!!

Zixuan: aww hi A-yu. *hugs* how are you?!

Mo xuanyu: I'm amazing.

Zixuan: fab.

Xue yang: diva?

Yao: hii Zish. *hugs* what's up.

Zixuan: *sighs* today I feel like relaxing with you and our emotional support Jiang.

Yao: aw same!! Where is he?

Zixuan: since he's our concubine, I sent a caravan to carry him here.

*mouth twitches*

Yao: Zish, what was that?

Zixuan: a....muscle...spasm??

Yao: Zixuan, you always do that when you do something mischievous. Also I'm the grandmaster of that expression.

Zixuan: maybe a little kidnapping was involved.

Yao: *laughing* you kidnapped Jiang cheng?!!! Ahahahahahaha.

Xue yang: didn't know peacock had it in him.

Su she: omg!

Yao: Zish why. *cracking up*

Zixuan: Foxy, he would make a fuss. So I had my servants tie him up, gag him and put him in the caravan.

It's a minor thing. No one got hurt.

Yao: *trying to contain his laughter*

Zish. What to do with you.

Yao: was he hog tied?

Zixuan: of course.

Yao: you make me so proud.

Zixuan: always A-Yao.

I can be a little crazy too, you know.

Yao: yes!!

Xue yang: these two are able to take over the world and no one will notice.

And I'm here for it.

Yao: I ask team dimple to do it like that.

Zixuan: aww yes, let team dimple do it.

You're really tiny after all.

Yao: yea Zish.

Zixuan: you're so cute.

~~~

Jiang cheng: *entering with some peacock spirits* ZIXUAN!!! why did you kidnap me?!

Zixuan: because you would have refused to come!

Yao: *smile* hi, how are you sect leader Jiang?

Jiang cheng: don't use those dimples on me!

Yao: what dimples?

Zixuan: oh come on. We ordered tea for you.

Jiang cheng: *sigh*

Yao and Zixuan: *stretched out their hands*

Jiang cheng: ???

Yao: *winks*

Zixuan: *does the same*

Jiang cheng: *kisses their hands*

Yao: how delightful.

Jiang cheng: what do you emperors want.

Yao: nothing.

Jiang cheng: want to marry me off to someone else? Who is it this time? Nie mingjue or team dimple.

Team Dimple: *petrified*

Mo xuanyu: I only love Yao gege!!!

Su she: ew no.

Xue yang: nah, we're Jiggy simps. And I might sever your tongue and make tea with it.

Yao and Zixuan: *cracking up*

Yao: no! Sect leader Jiang!

We just want to spend time with you.

Zixuan: we can all chitchat and laugh with each other.

While you give us manicures.

Yao: and give us a massage. Because we're hardworking Huangdis.

Jiang cheng: fine.

Both: lovely!

Afterwards~~

Jiang cheng: *giving Zixuan and Yao manicures, while they reclined with cucumber slices on their eyes*

Attendants: *fanning them*

Zixuan: Jiang cheng, what is wrong with your husband.

Jiang cheng: *annoyed* you're my husband, Zixuan.

Zixuan: not one of your glamorous emperor husbands, Jc.

Yao: he's talking about Huaisang.

Jiang cheng: oh right. What did he do this time?

Zixuan: he didn't grind my ink properly. The ink had lumps, which was a disrespect.

Yao: a total disrespect.

Is he scheming something?

Jiang cheng: not to my knowing.

Yao: but Huaisang is good at calligraphy, drawing and painting. Of course he knows how to grind ink perfectly.

Zixuan: he did it out of spite.

How didn't Jiang cheng think of that?!

Yao: Jc! you swore to protect us!

Zixuan: *tearing up*

Attendants: *wiping his tears*

Zixuan: *sniffles* it's the cucumber juice. Emperors don't cry in public.

Attendants: yes Huangdi. It's the cucumber juice. (It's actually tears)

Yao: you broke our heart and your promise.

Jiang cheng: *sighs* oh what a life.

Xue yang: now I know where mo xuanyu got it from.

Mo xuanyu: I'm not dramatic! They're more dramatic than me!

Su she: lol. Anyways, how dare huaisang.

Yao: Jiang cheng, do something.

Zixuan: don't just sigh and let us smell what you ate for lunch.

Jiang cheng: what the hell you want me to do!!

Yao: I don't know. Make soup or something.

Jiang cheng: do I look like a chef.

Zixuan: haven't you learnt anything from A-li.

Yao: ok fine, Chengcheng tell us about A-ling.

Zixuan: that will make us happy.

Jiang cheng: well......I didn't tell him that I would break his legs today.

Yao: awwww. Good job.

Zixuan: how sweet!

Yao: you shouldn't scare A-ling like that.

Zixuan: he's still a baby.

Jiang cheng: yes he is in our eyes, but he keeps picking a fight and getting lost. Then he's running after his dog.

Yao: he's adventurous.

Zixuan: you're very lame, Jiang cheng.

Yao: yea A-ling is still young.

#the huli jing emperor #dimpledlianfang #foxyao #jin guangyao #jin zixuan #meng yao #part 2 #su she #the untamed #hulijing emperor 2

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wintergrew · 2 years

Text

Now that The Mage is finished, random potentially spoilery things off note from it and the sot au as a whole

Stan, if he became the Chosen One would have been sent away to Randy's elven allies in La Resistance before he turned a year old. The fact that he wasn't pushed his fake death and subsequent move there a good number of years. (Via intervening when Cartman put a hit on the family)

Thomas (Craig's dad) and Laura were given this option, but refused to be parted from their son. They would only send their son somewhere they could ALL go.

Thomas was essentially King Stuart's close friend and right hand man. Even if they protected Craig from the magic test, as a major noble child, he would always be under the public eye and found out if he grew up in Kupa City.

There was no conceivable way to have a Kupa noble family, especially the family of King Stuart's right hand man, logistically move to the High Elf Kingdom. (Remember, Sheila was not part of La Resistance. She allowed human residents, especially orphans with nowhere else to go, but she didn't exactly have open borders)

Laura marrying down to a serf was one thing, no one would buy Thomas becoming one. Plus it would defeat the purpose of them staying out of public eye. They had to fake Thomas's death.

Thomas assumed the identity of an unmarried Sundorham villager of a similar age who died shortly before. Craig's "grandmother" was the dead villager's grandmother. McDaniels switched all the knights that had been stationed there with young ones born in villages far from the City who wouldn't recognize him. She also basically paid off the villagers with food and supplies to go along with it.

Other than that, McDaniels was very hands off and apathetic towards her village, letting the knights and Kupa castle do what they wanted. So she's not exactly a hero.

The magic tests for one year olds are done at a random date so that no one can attempt to prepare for it and hide their kid, etc. However, Randy and McDaniels with their positions DID get a little heads up before Sundorham was going to have theirs.

Craig survived because plain and simply Randy knowing the date came early and temporarily swapped out Stan (who had already been tested in the city) and Craig. They looked pretty similar as babies and were born within a month, so Stan was tested in Craig's place. This fact was salt in the wounds for their neighbors who DID have their children taken that very day.

If you haven't realized that with the OTHER Thomas's identity revelation that his backstory was fake, he was lying about the man in Kupa City. He did just test noble children who had no danger of being taken, meaning Craig killed an innocent person.

Creating Thomas and Leslie wasn't just a quick wave of the Stick by Clyde. It's more similar to FMAB alchemy—albeit successful and doesn't create an abomination that steals your body. However, it DOES require the Stick or equivalent to power it, no other magic is strong enough.

The reason the necklace phases through Thomas and Leslie is because it is the mind of the tree god. They are both made of the Stick's magic, meaning the necklace sees right through them as fraudulent entities.

Thomas knew this. He was very careful to always make sure it was out of the way whenever he was uhhh too close to Craig. So it was a cognisant thing that he avoided direct contact with it, to which Craig never noticed.

The necklace HOLDS a lot of power but currently is of the least amount of practical use to someone holding it. The leaf when it was still a leaf was similar until the ritual that bound it to Craig. The Stick is the only one that could be used by anyone, so long as they had magic.

Cartman knew that La Resistance's prophecy said that a seemingly immortal, all-powerful tyrant of Kupa would be killed by the Chosen One. With his ego, he figured the "extremely powerful" meant him. (Which he was right and did and up occurring.)

Cartman knew from Betsy that a leader of the Dark Kingdom was supposed to kill the Chosen One and told him the short gist of what that would mean for Zaron. That was why he poisoned Clyde's sister.

Cartman didn't really know much else about either prophecy.

#the thief #the Mage

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jellifysh · 2 years

Note

It's hella big and hella late, I would understand if you decide not publish it

"Hoseok looked at your arm, your precious skin scarred, and anger brewed inside him as an urge to protect you rose. He looked at Yoongi's face seeing the same as the other man raised his hand to lightly trace over it.

They would make that asshole pay."

And with this, the name "Precious" is stuck in my brain

The way yoongi watches her, how delicately Yoongi handles her, I could already hear him calling her "Petal"

And how she bounces around in excitement whenever she's around Hosoek, bringing both of their walls down, his "Little Lamb " or "bunny"

I can imagine Jin fussing over how little she eats, how he wants to stuff her full of food until he's satisfied and how endearing it would be squish her fluffy cheeks doing so, "Sweet Cheeks" or "cupcake" sounds so so fitting

Taehyung loves watching her from distance although they've come a long way, her presence always so calming, so so perfect, I think he would love to make her flustered and won't shy away from calling her "My love", "Angel" or " My little Darling"

Jimin, well as much as he would like to ignore your existence, you did manage to crawl inside his heart, he calls you "Brat" but only if you knew that's because you stubbornly took your rightful place in his life much to his dismay

Jungkook is playful around her likes to tease her so calling her "Noona" but also stealing other people's nickname just to get on their nerves

And Namjoon, the nickname feels like a second nature varying from from "Flower", "Sunshine" to "love bug", just like the essentials to his garden she so lovingly takes care off

PS: This is by no means an attempt to impose or influence your way of writing or narrating the characters, it's just this is how I view them and love them.

there is so much good stuff to process here, hold on this gonna be a long answer

I totally see where your coming from with the precious nickname and it makes total sense, originally I was thinking Jin but yoongi definitely does see you that way too, I might make it so that they overhear each other nicknames and start sharing some of them

Hoseok calling you bunny is absolutely adorable, someone mentioned this before and I didn't see it then but now that you pointed out the bouncing, I totally see how it fits, this would be one that jungkook overhears and steals immediately

Cupcake is what I didn't even know I've been looking for this while omg how did I forget the word cupcake existed... I really don't remember if anyone brought it up but its perfect actually. I'm putting that in right alongside lovebug lol

Taehyung absolutely does love fluttering her, and I think he would extra cheesy with the nicknames but I definitely think my love and my darling are ones he would use when he is genuinely just feeling so in love with you, along with my muse

Jimin calling you brat is cute and fairly spot on with the way you guys interact especially with him having a soft spot for you after a while

In this story you're actually younger than jungkook but it would be really funny if he called you Noona just to get on your nerves, he would steal nicknames but probably settle on bunny or cupcake just cause he likes reminding you how tiny you are compared to him

Namjoon calling you flower is top tier as we've decided, him calling you those cheesy lovey dovey nicknames would definitely be to tease Jin lmao, but i think he'd really like simple ones like honey, baby, and darling, its just v classic, and Joon is a classic man I think

#thanks for the ask!#why wouldn't i publish this #gukieater

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kamosweasley · 3 years

Text

Not that damn song again (George Weasley x Reader)

Description : It's Christmas time so a cute fluffy fic about it sounds right. And I'm a simp for George (and Christmas songs), I hope you'll enjoy it as much as I enjoyed writing it.

Words count : 2.5K

Author note's : lyrics from All I want for Christmas by Mariah Carey are in italics.

Tag list : @memekingofwwiii

It's terribly cliché but you can't lie, you love Christmas. There is no better time of year, with snow, hot chocolate, big sweaters, cinnamon cookies and decorations everywhere, how not to love it ? You don't understand people who prefer summer with its sweltering heat and sunburn and all those damn mosquitoes. But unfortunately for you, your boyfriend is a man of the second category whereas you are a woman of the first category. Which makes some things a bit complicated, like you grumbling when he wants to pull you out in the July sun or like him not being able to stand the Christmas carols that you play over and over again from the first of November.

“Not that damn song again …” he mumbles, hiding his face in his hands. “Darling I love you, but if you play this song one more time ...”

“Come on Georgie, it’s Christmas time ! Listening to Christmas songs is essential to my mental health right now. It's either that or stuff myself with cinnamon cookies with the delicious icing and not fit into my favorite sweaters anymore. You really don't like it ?”, coming to give him a back hug with puppy eyes. He never resists you with those eyes, he loves to see them disappear to give way to a big smile.

“I'm sorry my love, but at the end of the fiftieth listening of your playlist I started to hate Santa Claus and the sound of the bells.”

You're both sitting on his bed, he's finishing his potion homework but he's not getting very far with you in the same room listening to the same songs for over a month. He hates it because he loves you with all his heart, but he's starting to wish he could go deaf so he can't stand those melodies which haunt him even in his sleep. He would love it as much as you do, but the more the days go by, the more he understands this will never be the case. And he doesn't want to put limits on how you enjoy this time, he knows how much it means to you.

You put your hands under his sweater to warm your hands, the contact of your cold skin on his abdo makes him startle as you let out a giggle.

“Sorry, my hands are cold and I know that your mother's sweaters keep me warm so I took advantage of it …”

“I know darling, it's absolutely not to satisfy your wandering hands.” he says as he turns his head to kiss you, “I'm going to ask my mother to knit you some mittens, since it's very warm.”

“Good idea, I'm freezing to death right now.” George begins to turn around with a grin on his face, ready to warm you up in his own way but you haven’t noticed his purpose, “I'm going to go make hot chocolate in the kitchen, do you want some too ? I can bring you a cup, I make the best hot chocolate you've ever tasted. No offense to your mom who must make really good ones too, but mine is better.”

You often take him by surprise, changing the subject or not noticing how the situation is turning out and he always found it charming. You make him think of Luna a little bit, on another level but just as clueless as her sometimes. Your boyfriend smiles at you, returning to his potion homework. “Anything to please you darling.”

“You'll see, it's fabulous! I have a secret ingredient, if you're nice I might tell you what it is.” you put on one of his sweaters that you take from his suitcase before you wink at him and leave the room. He should take advantage of the silence of your absence to finish his damn homework in a hurry but he can't concentrate. Potion is boring and he really loves it when you wear one of his sweaters, it's way too big for you and that's what makes you so adorable. And you will come to spend a few days at the Burrow, meet his parents as his girlfriend and receive your own sweater knitted by Molly. He hopes that you will continue to steal from him even if you have your own.

“Here it is ! Taste it and tell me.” you say while putting the cup in his hand. You already know what he’ll say of course, everybody loves your hot chocolate, there is no reason for your boyfriend not to do the same. He thanks you before taking a sip of the hot drink, ready for a chocolate too sweet with some spice in it. And it is, but he has to admit that it is particularly good. He nods his head before he smiles at you. “You're right, it's the best I've ever tasted.” He puts his cup on the bedside table and returns to his parchment.

“So why don't you keep drinking it ? It doesn't look like the best hot chocolate you've ever tasted.” You're sure George didn't lie to you, but you still hoped he would act on his words. When he tells you it's the best hot chocolate he's ever had in his hands, you wish he wouldn't let go of the cup until he's finished it. Maybe you have a misplaced ego but this chocolate is your personal pride and you want your boyfriend to treat it well.

He runs a hand through his hair, not even taking his eyes off his homework. “I've never been a big fan of hot chocolate or Christmas cookies and certainly not of all those bell-filled songs. I’m sorry darling but I never liked any of this.” You melt before his eyes, he is sincerely sorry he doesn't like what makes you so happy and you think it's too cute.

"I'm just not a Christmas person. It's good because we saw family and have presents but still don't get what you found in this period.” You come and join him on the bed, sitting in a suit in front of him. “It’s simple. Let it snow, Jingle Bell Rock, All I Want For Christmas, it’s all about a magical time.” In his eyes you can tell that he doesn't understand at all what you're talking about, which is amazing when you consider how much time he spent listening to all those songs. “We are wizards. Our whole life is magical, I'm not sure I understand you on that point.” You grab a roll of parchment and hold it as if it were a microphone, looking at him with a glim in your eyes.

The best thing you can do to help him understand is to show him. You’re not a good singer, at least George never complains about it, perhaps because he tries very hard to keep his mind upright since he doesn’t like your playlist. It's unlikely you'll be able to change his mind, but a little a capella karaoke should put a smile on his face.

“I don’t want a lot for Christmas, there is just one thing I need. I don’t care about the present, underneath the Christmas tree.” While keeping your fake microphone close to your mouth, you point at your boyfriend with the same expression as Mariah Carey in the clip. “I just want you for my own, more than you could ever know ! Make my wish come true, all I want for Christmas is you !”

As it is impossible to sing Mariah Carey without playing the diva, you give it your all and when you see George's smile, you do it well. It must be your acting more than the words of love that make him smile like that, it's like he's trying to restrain himself from laughing.

“'Cause I just want you here tonight, holding on to me so tight.” On all fours you come and sit between his legs, facing him. He puts his cold hands on your hips passing them under the elastic of your jogging, a smirk on his lips. You shiver from the sudden cold on your skin but don't stop singing, your face getting closer and closer to his. “What more can I do ? Baby, all I want for Christmas is you ! You, baby.”

He's right in front of you. Your noses are touching, your eyes are immersed in each other and you melt like snow in the sun at the intensity of this moment. Damn you love him.

The hunger in his eyes devours you before his lips reach yours. A passionate, fiery, kiss that will get you high. Your head empties itself of all words and thoughts, your hands naturally place themselves in his hair and behind your closed eyes you imagine his smile, his eyes shining with mischief, his hand holding yours and all those little things that make you fall for him. Over and over again.

Gasping for air, the kiss is stopped. You're almost dizzy, head spinning with butterflies messing around in the belly. Liking George Weasley drives you crazy, there's no telling, you've never felt that way about anyone else. Before him you'd never been that high, you'd never had a simple kiss that made you tremble, you'd never dreamed of spending the rest of your life with someone. George Weasley is the kind of man you should treasure, marry and have as a father to your children. For the simple reason that he will be wonderful in all these roles, with him everyday life will never be boring, he will always have the words to make you laugh or smile. He will give love like no one else to his children, an exemplary father who will take care of his children as if they were the greatest wonders in this world.

You have no doubt about it, your boyfriend will offer a wonderful life to the woman he chooses. That's why you're not going to let him go. Your lover.

You suddenly open your eyes as you feel yourself tilted to the side with George, he's still holding you against him and you land softly on the comforter and pillows. You're lying against each other and George slips one of his legs between yours so that they get tangled up. “Now we’re good darling.” He kisses your forehead and plays with a strand of your hair, it's so peaceful. “I haven't finished the song.” You feel his mouth smiling against your forehead. “Who cares ? Certainly not me, I heard what I needed to hear. I think I understand now.”

“Do you ?”

“Yes, but I still hate Christmas songs.”

You lean on your forearm to look down on him, looking pouty. “C’mon ! You’re overreacting, this song is brand new. It's only been out for a month, you can't already hate it.” He grabs you by the shoulders and applies pressure to force you to lie down, not softened by your pouty air. “You listen to it all the time and if not, you sing it. Believe me, one month is enough to get sick of it.”

After being a diva a few minutes before, you're having fun being a diva again because after all, you can't talk about Mariah like that. And you can't help but defend the honor of your favorite Christmas songs. With a burning gaze, fists on your hips and a somewhat condescending tone, you fight back. “It’s Mariah Carey so it will be a massive hit, I’m sure of it. And at least, I’m sure you will think of me every time you’ll hear this song for the rest of your life.” Smiling at you, he adopts the same facial expression and flutters his eyes saying to you in a sweet voice: “The only way I'm going to hear this song again is from you. It's a Muggle song, no one is going to know it among wizards.”

Rolling on yourself to be flat on your stomach, half on George given the proximity that the bed offers you, you give him a charming wink as you rest your chin on your hands.

“That’s what I’m saying. At the end of each year you will hear this song many, many, many times and you will think of that moment when I sang it to you in your dorm at Hogwarts. You will see the scene again as you hear me singing it from the other side of our house. Because we're going to spend our whole lives together.” Since you're already half on top of him, he has no problem placing you on top of him, kissing both your cheeks and your forehead as you go by, making you giggle. “You’re a genius. You really thought of everything.”

You mess his hair before wedging your head in his neck, breathing in his scent. You smile against his throat and you know him well enough to know that it makes him smile back. “How could I want to live without you ? You know how to make yourself indispensable Georgie, it's almost annoying.” You love it when he runs his hand through your hair, it's the most relaxing thing ever. His other hand traces back and forth in your back, making you a little sleepy. This man knows how to deal with you. “Because you thought you were the only one who thought of everything? I would never let you go.”

If you could stop time and stay like this forever, you would do it without hesitation. You're comfortable in a bed, just the two of you, your hearts are beating at the same rhythm and you're in love. Then it smells like hot chocolate and you've managed to make him smile to a Christmas song. You never want to forget this moment. “Fine by me Georgie.”

You can't resist the temptation to hum Last Christmas, but George's caresses make you fall asleep little by little. You stop before the end of the song and in a few minutes you fall asleep on him. He kisses the top of your head, finding you absolutely adorable. You always manage to fall asleep quickly when you are being tickled, which makes him very tender and amuses him a lot. He often teases you about it, it always annoys you and he finds it even cuter.

Feeling your body rise slightly to the rhythm of your breathing, he starts humming the end of Last Christmas. He takes advantage of you being asleep, so you won't be able to talk to him about it someday. Continuing to run his hand through your hair and humming Christmas music, he smiles as he looks up at the ceiling. You are with him, alone and calm, in perfect harmony and he always liked to feel the beat of your heart when you cuddle. It's that kind of perfect moment. And he wishes it would never end.

#george weasley #george weasley fic #george weasley imagine #george weasley x reader #george weasley fluff #harry potter #christmas #christmas imagine

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gloomyhearts · 3 years

Text

Always by your side || Luke Patterson

Chapter two ~ just look up the sky

people grow together through darkness. does this band will make it without their most important human being.

After years will everything keep the same?

Luke patterson x oc

January 1995

Sabrina came home from school and was on her way to the garage where her favourite human beings have rehearsal before playing at the club the next day. The chords of 'now or never' blasting all the way to the front street. Jumping from her board she ran up the driveway, stopping at the door to catch her breath.

She threw the doors opened as she stepped in.

"Welcome stranger" Luke laid his free arm around her shoulders pulling her in the middle of the room.

"I don't want to push your ego but you're guys becoming better everyday," she pushed Luke's arm away when Alex glanced at them. Sending him an apologetic look.

"Thank you Brie" Reggie sending her a warm smile.

"Just the truth Reg" mirroring his smile she walked over to the couch and sat down. "What songs are you playing tomorrow?" She lay down her hands resting on her stomach. She twisted the ring Luke gifted her last year.

"Now and never is an essential. And then we will see, how's the public, their vibes and so," Bobby explains. Sabrina wasn't a fan of the fourth member to the fact that he's trying to steal Luke the show always ripping his lyrics saying negative words about them and his said words aren't any help either.

"Now or never is a hit boys I really like it"

"You just say that because you're my sister," Alex insisted.

"That's bullshit," she retorted.

"But just try 'Welcome home,'" Sabrina suggests.

"But there's a piano part," Luke remarked.

"Don't mind me sitting down here," Sabrina points to the keyboard and sat behind it.

She began to play the beginning chords as Alex softly hit on his drum.

Feeling high always chasing the light.

Calming down when everything's loud.

Adrenaline rushing through my body,

My heart beats for moment like these.

Luke plucks his guitar farster, the drums getting louder and the boys began to scream.

In the dark

We're jamming from our hearts

No regrets

Blood rushing through my head

Welcome home

Always grateful for you

The cheers

Echoing through my head

The keyboard was facing the band giving Sabrina the chance to study their emotions. Luke's eyes always laying on her even as he's walking between the other two guitarist.

Hours to go but always thinking 'bout you

Seeing you in the crowd

Brings ache to my heart.

But this band's like homeee.

Sabrina sung quietly in background every word of the lyric when her favorite passage was to come.

Some chase the fame and lose themselves

But with you I'm being grounded

Flying high and blasting through the sky

Would never feel the same without you

Their eyes glaring at her when she was the only one singing this phrase, the boys astonished by her voice froze in tracks. Her eyes narrowed to keep on playing their instruments.

Seconds later the music started again.

Welcome home

Always grateful for you

The cheers

Echoing through my heart

Welcome home

Always grateful for you

The cheers

Echoing through my heart

The chords slowly dying as Alex hit his ride a last time.

"This was spectacular" he jumped in front of his drums.

"This is.. Will you have to join the band" his hands now resting on her upper arms, shaking Sabrina lightly.

Shaking her head she just laughed. "You know I wouldn't, Lexi" she began to thickle his abdomen as he removes his hands.

Reggie agrees to Alex nodding his head steady.

"Think about it Brina" Luke spoke smirking.

"I'll think about it" the corner of his mouth turned up. He stretched his hand in front of her as she grabbed it he squeezed it slightly.

He dragged her closer by shoving his arm to his body, he leans down to her and whispers. "You smell nice today" her cheeks turning red as turned away to cover her up. Alex observes it critical.

"I've got to go. Don't stay up too late," she calls after the group. She waves to the boys when she walked out of the door Luke hold open.

Skateboarding down the main street the sky a mild orange and yellow as the sun; already dotted with stars. Sabrina was almost in her friend's street as a jolt threw her down her board she even flew a few yards; hitting the ground with a loud thud and sliding a bit more. Her skin now cluttered with abrasions on her left side. She pressed on her upper arm trying to stop the blood

The blonde girl lay on the cold pavement surrounded by tourists and pedestrians. Eyes glaring on her staring at her wounds, some chatters whereas she couldn't understand it.

In the distance she heard sirens over her loud sobbing; a wave of relief and hope floating through her tired body.

She was lifted into the ambulance and they start to drive to the hospital.

At the arrival of the car they rushed to the emergencyroom. Shifting her into a bed before taking her to the tests.

The first nurse pushing a needled for the IV into her hand when she saw her naked hand sadness overcame her.

"The..the ring" she stutters.

"There was no ring" the paramedic explained dry and shrugged his shoulders. She lost her consciousness right after.

A steady beeping was the only noise in the room. Her body covered with wires plugged into machines for her vitals. A nurse entered as she saw Sabrina opens her eyes.

"Hello dear. Great to see you. So what's your name?" she sat down next to the bed.

"Brie" she struggles to breath.

"Slow. Take your time," the nurse soothed. Sabrina's hand slightly shakes as she tries to imply. "You wanna write?" The blonde just nodded.

Writing has always helped me.

"There you go"she handed her paper and a pen.

Sabrina Willow Mercer. It wasn't her best writing but readable.

"Got this." The nurse grabbed the paper and left.

She left her three empty papers, so she began to write with all the power she has left.

Minutes later the woman came back reassuring she reached someone at home. A single tear escape her eyes as she quietly sobs. What if this are here last breaths and no one of her family was here she'd do everything to hear their voices one last time. She remembers the rehearsal hours ago.

"Your mom said she is on her way after calling your dad and collecting your brother." Laying her hand on Sabrina's arm her thumb rubbing an unscathed spot. The girl in the bed mouthed a 'thanks'.

What felt like hours of waiting her mother and the blonde boy ran into her room.

"Baby" her mom threw her body down next to the bed grabbing her hand.

"Will" Alex stumbled towards the bed reddish eyes staring at her.

"She's going to be alright, right?" He turned to the nurse.

"That's not mine remit sir" she left.

Alex softly moving next to her in the bed. "We'll make it. We always do" he pressed a kiss on her temple pulling her into his side.

Their mother started whimpering remembering what the nurse told on the phone. She gave Brian's hand a small kiss holding it near to her heart. Alex was this situation suspicious. He sniffed her scent in; the ocean breeze.

"Lex.." Sabrina's voice broke halfway.

"Psst. Let me hold you" he pressed her tighter into his side.

The girl hold the letters over to him. "When I... when I die.." the siblings whimpered in sync.

"These are for you, mom and dad and Luke" his name gave him a flashback to Luke's reaction as Alex rushed out of the garage running towards their car and leaving without a word. Luke didn't moved since then.

"Call him" she pointed towards the door giving him a resuring smile.

Minutes past when Alex walked back in. "He's coming" he took his spot again laying his arm around her shoulder.

"You sure about this?" He raised the letters and she nodded.

The shaggy haired boy arrived as Sabrina was sleeping in Alex arms. "She's alright right?" He questioned and the blonde boy shakes his head much to his dislike.

"I talked to the doctor they gave her maximally a week" his thumb brushes the tears away. "If they find a donor.." he sobbed thinking about a life without this sunshine.

"That's not true. It can't. She's so young" Luke's body fell into the chair. The Mercer mom left an hour ago.

Luke intertwined their fingers bringing her hand up to his forehead. He felt a light pressure on his hand and looked up at Sabrina. A small smile on her lips. "Hey gorgeous" he didn't cared if Alex was still with them.

"You're going to be alright. We'll find a way Brina," Luke whispers, his voice shaking.

The next day Sabrina woke up to two boys sleeping with their heads on her bed, quiet snorts escaping their mouths.

She wanted to let them sleep they need it. Flashbacks from last night crashing onto her.

The boys refused to play tonight but she insisted that's their chance, there always managers who could sign them.

'Just let it go',

'we're not leaving you here, alone.'

'don't let this chance die because of me' she retorted. As she mentions the word 'die' the time stand still, the air around them getting cold, their eyes not daring to look at her.

"Morning Will" Alex greets, his voice just above a whisper; his hand sliding through his hair trying to smooth it.

"Hey" she tried to smile.

"How are you feeling?"

"Greatest I've ever been" she sarcastically said, rolling her eyes.

The siblings laughed the first time since the whole accident. Luke awoke to them laughing and his muscles eased a bit. Seeing them relieved, laughing, this gives him hope, hope she'll survive this.

"Morning there sweetie" Alex says towards Luke who rubbed his eyes in the process of waking up.

"Morning" he yawns and stretched his arms up.

"I'm getting breakfast any wishes?" Alex stands up and began to sneak to the door.

"Pancakes" his sister calls after him.

"We're not in a hotel" he shakes his head in disbelief. The three of them erupting in laughter.

"A coffee, please" Luke adds.

Alex was out the door so Luke took the chance to climb up into the bed. His arm resting around her shoulders. Her head resting on his shoulder and his head on hers.

"I can't do this tonight without you, Brina." his voice a shaking whisper.

"Of course you'll rock this, all of you. Do it for me P." Sabrina turned on her side and rested her head in his chest, hearing his heartbeat calmed her. His right hand plays with a strand of her wavy hair. Unfortunately one of his rings gets tangled in it.

"Ouh" exclaimed the girl reaching for his hand and slowly puts his hand in front of her face. Thank God her hair is long that this is possible.

"Keep still" Sabrina points out.

She took the ring off of his finger and entangled it from her hair. Luke watching her moves closely. She let out a small chuckle.

"Where's your ring" he grabs her hand finding the naked spot around her index.

"I've must lost it. The paramedic said he hasn't found anything" the corners of her mouth dropping down, she sighed.

"No problem. I'll find it" Alex enters the room again with their drinks in his hands and a chocolate chip muffin. He reached the bed and hand them their orders.

"Can I have a bite" she made puppy eyes which always convinced him.

"Fine" he exhales holding it in front of her. Taking a large bite she smile without teeth; making kissing sounds to thank him.

The boys left around lunch due to her following tests but Alex dropped in minutes after she was pushed out of her room bringing her journal and her pencil case. Arriving back and seeing the utensils she smiled and began to write down her thoughts, forming poems and wisdoms.

Sabrina's view laid on the clock at it hit 7pm which means their show begins right now, she wishes to be there seeing them relieved and freed, dancing over the stage having fun with each other.

"Hello guys we're sunset curve" Luke was interrupted by Reggie's 'tell your friends'

"We want to dedicate this night for a special one who couldn't be here today" his mood darken slightly.

They began to play the chorus to 'now or never' and the people radiate the same energy as the band. The crowed danced to the words the band sings.

The song came to an end and Luke exchanged glances with the other guys, nodding their heads they were ready to jam 'Welcome home'.

Mid song Luke stopped singing and stared into the void. He lost his focus, frozen without her; that's when it hits him like a train it wasn't just a silly crush, he loves her.

Tears began to build in his eyes as he tried to focus back on the music.

When the last chords were played he ran out of the bar and to the place Sabrina told him she had the accident.

Earlier the day he didn't find the ring, the probability to find it now is zero but he didn't would give up until he held it in his hand.

Luke arrived to a jumbled room, nurses running in and out same as doctors. Loud chattering and beeping of machines. He rushed into her room, Alex already sat by her side. He grabbed her other hand holding it and squeezing it constantly. Sabrina tried to sat up, her hands trying to escape their grip. They all lean in closer, heads now in the middle of the bed.

"Just look up the sky. I'm the brightest star guiding the way. Watching you. Always by your side" her hands resting on each of the cheeks from Luke and Alex. Luke takes her hand and puts the ring back on her index, she slowly proceeded the gesture and it takes all her power to sent him a heartwarming smile but it didn't reached her eyes too tired.

"I love you" Sabrina's hands falling lifeless onto the bed. The machines now with a monotonous sound and a flat line. Tears streaming down their checks. Holding her hand not able to proceed that’s she’s gone, forever

#jatp fanfic #luke patterson fic #luke x oc #jatpluke #luke patterson fanfiction #julie and the phantoms #julie and the phantoms fanfiction #jatp x oc #charlie gillespie fic #charlie gillespie fanfiction #luke patterson #julieandthephantomsimagine #jatp luke #luke patterson x oc #jatp fic #luke julie and the phantoms #luke patterson x reader

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thedevilliers · 3 years

Note

Hey, I've been reading your story for a while, and I'm enjoying it very much. Following the De Villiers has been so fun, and you've inspired me to create my own royal Simblr!

Can you maybe share some tips about what to do with your royals? I'll be posting my family within the next few weeks, and I have already planned out several engagements + events, including visits to parks/schools/hospitals, parties, and news surrounding a royal pregnancy. I've also planned out the first arc. I don't know what else to do, and I've barely started! If you have any tips related to the beginning of your Simblr that you didn't cover in your other post, I would so appreciate them. I want to get all this nailed down *before* posting, so my blog is the best that it can be.

Also, if you have any advice on how to make things as efficient as possible (especially regarding posing sims, editing/writing posts, etc.), I would love that! I want to cut down on time wasted wherever I can.

Thank you!! :-)

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 me?!!?!?! ME ??????? omg 🧍‍♀️ thank u for reading my story 🥺 and AAAAAAAAAAAA your own royal simblr !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ill answer everythin under the cut !!!!! spoilers: it got long sorry

first of all, remember we ALL started somewhere. you can look at my first like... fifteen and even MORE posts and they are BAD. oh my gawd idk why i thought they were good, but hey! i learned things from them. you will more than likely change your mind about certain things from the beginning of your blog to who knows, four months from now. don’t focus and worry a lot on ‘perfection’ and setting up ‘high standards’ from the beginning. treat it like a learning curve! this is something we all do for fun, so don’t get stressed a lot on it. you can always change and adapt things and that’s no problem!

i love lists, so im gonna list a few things of advice/tips basing myself on what you said!!!

i personally don't do engagements anymore, so i can't really help you in this regard of even more activities you could do 🧍‍♀️ what i could recommend for people to get to know your characters' personalities and private lives and grow attached to them, add in BTS posts.

continuing on my BTS’ post thing, they are a GREAT way to show more than what the public sees for your royals. because from a press and public point of view, you don't really know 'what goes on behind closed doors'. they could be all happy in public, but in privatE??!??!!?!?

as i said in my starting out guide, i did have around ~15 drafts done before i started posting. just so i could not stress about “oh my god i dont have any posts for tomorrow”. a LOT of ppl do posts and queue them as they go, and they have MANY posts done and usually they start accumulating and they are MONTHS in advance compared to what they’re currently posting. if this method works for you, you can definitely use it!

please, please please read your dialogue OUT loud. is it possible to say a 2093023902 word sentence without a singular use of punctuation? do people in this age and era really talk this way? also please if possible use correct grammar. just a little pet peeve, it can take a reader out of the immersion your story gives them.

we all have our lil dialogue habits. mine is starting sentences with “oh” and the infamous dash “—”. others use ellipses. just make sure you aren’t overdoing it. for example, doing a sentence like “oh— there you are. i was uhm— looking for you. how—how are you? its—i mean where have you uhm— been? yes—ive—ive been fine. you? i mean— your mom” ....just no 😔 it doesnt read well at ALL

you can always do lil filler posts, dont tell anyone tell you otherwise. post a little simstagram post, a little family portrait, updated portraits post, family hanging out, kids hanging out, etc.

for posing sims, i do try and remember where MOST of my poses are in the ingame list. usually creators’ correctly naming the poses helps a lot. for example i need a Mel Bennet pose; hers are usually ALL in the same spot and have the same lil aqua bg so i can easily find them. sometimes, i dl pose packs VERY specifically for a certain scene. am i gonna use them again? no. so i open the .package file in sims4studio and rename them to “00 for emi scene [rest of the og name” so when i open my game, they are around the top of the list! no more scrolling and i easily know what i need it for.

dont be scared to plan things that are happening MONTHS from now or anything in detail. some ppl dont like planning things in detail, or even dont like planning things AT ALL or things that arent happening say, in over 2 weeks because idk, they get bored. i recommend at LEAST having a list of things that HAVE to happen so you have ‘goals’ and you slowly plan out how you’re gonna get there. at LEAST theres some level of planning there. if you’re posting and PLANNING as you go, there’s gonna be holes. and it’s gonna be obvious.

editing wise, i don’t do much. my reshade does most of the work, i just add in my psd, add text and done! this is easily the fastest thing you will ever do.

if you get inspired by someone else doing, idk, a certain layout for the portraits, them adding little things to their captions, a certain edit, etc. if you want to do something similar and you ARE very much aware you were inspired by them, credit them in the caption. i beg. its free, its the nice thing to do, bc if not its rude.

if you get inspired by a certain storyline someone else did and you notice yours is gonna be similar, go ahead and send them a message to let them know and if they have any tips or feel uncomfortable with you doing this. simply put, if you don’t, you’re gonna look bad. we are all bound to do same storylines, such as assassinations, shooty shooty’s, stalkers, first loves, accidental babies, etc. but what changes is how each person approaches it. no ones gonna do it the same way as you and others. if you CONSCIOUSLY start copying else, stop it. and you could even be unconsciously be inspired by someone else too. it happens! just make sure you are able to look at the bigger picture and realize “hey, i’m doing something wrong”

same thing with dialogue. you like a line someone else said in their story? don’t just... steal it and incorporate it into yours word BY WORD

OVERALL: you can be inspired. give credit where it’s due. and don’t copy because someone else is doing ‘something others like’ and you want others to like your story. no no no !

im adding this AFTER i posted it but, be yourself. in the way you interact with others and send questions, etc. don’t try and copy someone else’s personality because they are liked and essentially absorb them. be yourself and i’m sure a lot of ppl will like you the way you are : D

for my writing dialogue etc, this goes back to my point 8. i use milanote, its free and you get 200 free thingies to use, and i plan out how every single one of my posts is gonna go. so i just have to go ingame and i already know what im gonna do. no thoughts, just taking screenshots. for example, this is how a part of my part 2, chapter 3 posts layout looks like. every square is a post that has what is happening, who is in it, what is gonna be said very vaguely, etc:

11. and the most important tip! don’t compare yourself to others. i did it at the beginning. i think we all did at one point. its not good for you at all. please always remember we all are here for share our lil stories with each other and it’s not easy get a following. you’ll get there and its gonna take time. be patient, be nice!!! and i cant wait to see your story!!!!!!!!!!

#ask #howto #dam. it loNG #Anonymous

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justanotherlifeff · 3 years

Text

Levi Ackerman × reader

Genre: Angst, Hurt/comfort, Fluff, matured themes, slowburn

Warning: There's mentions and descriptions of underage rape and suicidal themes and self harm and other triggering stuff.

No one's POV

Levi squad was on the move from the now destroyed Reiss chapel. An injured Hanji, Eren and Historia was on a wagon while Armin was driving it. Levi, (Y/N), Mikasa, Jean, Sasha and Connie were on horseback. Far from them, travelled an enormous titan, twice the size of the colossal titan. When Levi squad was stuck in the passage, Armin discovered an opening in the wall of the passage. They heard a huge crash and a blinding yellow light when Armin discovered the opening. Someone transformed into a titan. That opening led Armin and Hanji out of the chapel into the safety due to Hanji's injury while the others went to aid Eren.

It turned out that Rod Reiss transformed into an enormous titan, the one which was travelling alongside them. As they were following Rod Reiss, Erwin's search party was spotted in a distance. When (Y/N) saw Erwin's horse trotting towards them, she felt guilty for ignoring her superior and going behind her Uncle's back. "It had to be done" she reassured herself as Erwin reached them.

"I knew it was you who stole the horse. Why didn't you follow the orders? Do you know the consequences of ignoring a direct order from the commander? And, where did you get the 3DMG from?" Erwin asked (Y/N) firmly. "I know the consequences, but, it had to be done. Without my contribution, the mission would've failed as Levi Heichou was busy with Kenny. According to the survey corps rulebook, section 27, any direct orders from superiors can be ignored without punishment if the decision of the guilty is essential for a mission. I believe my action was necessary for the mission's success. As for the 3DMG, I stole it from the supply storage, Commander." (Y/N) answered with a calm but determined expression.

"Commander, (Y/N) is right. Mikasa couldn't handle all of the anti personale squad alone. There were about 40 people. We needed (Y/N)'s strength." Armin chimed in. To that, Erwin sighed and said, "You're right. (Y/N), you do know that because of your foolishness, I still have to deal with the law of section 42, that pregnant women aren't allowed to fight...". Before Erwin could finish, (Y/N) interjected and said, " Commander, you already denied my permission to join the search party. I acted on my own. I am supposed to get the punishment for that but section 27 already vouches for it. There will be some paperwork involved but no other long term problem.".

Erwin looked at (Y/N) for a while. He was proud of the woman she became. "How did you steal the 3DMG? I sent a cadet to mention the guards of the supply storage to specifically see that you're not let in." Erwin inquired. "I knew you would do that. I sent someone else to get it for me." (Y/N) answered casually. "I see. (Y/N), did you really think everything through before making this decision?" Erwin asked, clearly impressed by how far (Y/N) thought everything through. To that question, (Y/N) looked at Erwin with a slightly amused expression and answered, "Of course I thought it through. Unlike you, I don't gamble". The last sentence gave Erwin a flash of memory

9 years ago:

" (Y/N), you really should go home now. It's just a game. We already played five times.." Erwin sighed as the 10 year old girl insisted on playing another game of chess. It was one of her off days from training with him and she discovered a chess board in his office while searching for books. Thus, he ended up in this position, playing five games of chess with her. (Y/N) was a quick learner. She was way past the basics in the first game alone. Erwin didn't expect her to win against him as he was known to be one of the greatest tacticians of all time. He knew that the girl won't give up on trying till she won at least one game, so, he went easy on her this time. "Checkmate" Erwin sighed at the end of their 6th game.

He noticed (Y/N) smile and suddenly, he noticed that (Y/N) had her knight just in position to get rid of his queen. She took the queen down and told, "checkmate" to Erwin with a sly smile. The knight was now in position to get the king and Erwin had no chess piece to get rid of it. "Good one, (Y/N). Go home now. Your parents will be worried." Erwin sighed. "Uncle Erwin, you went easy on me. I want a fair game before going home." (Y/N) demanded. By now, Erwin knew that when (Y/N) got her head into something, she never gave up. "Fine. One last game. Promise?" Erwin told (Y/N). "Promise!" (Y/N) answered in an excited voice.

Surprisingly, Erwin lost that game. This time, Erwin wasn't easy on her. The one last game went on five more times, only now, it was Erwin who insisted to have one more game. At the end, he gave all his tactician abilities but failed to win against (Y/N). "Okay. How are you winning against me?" Erwin asked in the end after loosing the sixth game. "You see Uncle Erwin, you have a pattern in playing. It was hard to figure out but you tend to loose your pawns very easily. You keep the elite pieces for the end and use them to take the enemy down.

However, when you don't have the pawns to cover for the elites, you start loosing the elites to my pawns. That's how I won. Unlike you, I don't gamble. I should go home now. Dad will be mad if I'm late." (Y/N) explained with a proud face as she went for the door, leaving a dumbfounded Erwin sitting in front of the chessboard. She just predicted his moves in actual combat scenario too.

"I won't say what you did wasn't reckless but I'm proud of you." Erwin sighed. "Thanks" (Y/N) muttered with a smile. Erwin asked Levi if everyone was okay and Levi told him about Hanji. Erwin decided that the injury wasn't too serious and can be fixed easily. Levi then mentioned to Erwin that the titan is Rod Reiss and Erwin said that they didn't have any time to waste as Rod Reiss will be heading for Orvud district.

After Erwin left, Levi looked at (Y/N) and asked, "I forgot to ask you about this but, why did you memorise the Survey Corps rulebook? Cadets or second in commands aren't required to know these.". "Well, I read those before joining the trainee corps. I found a book with the Survey Corps rules in Uncle Erwin's office and I decided to read it." (Y/N) replied. "Why would anyone want to read a rulebook?" Levi asked, completely confused. (Y/N) looked back at him with a confused face and answered, "I read it because I like reading?". Levi scoffed at this and said, "And yet, you never read a biology book.".

To that, (Y/N) made a protesting face along with a slight blush creeping up her cheek as she said, "I did read biology books! It's not my fault that you're so goddamned overprotective!" "Woah... They are acting like an old married couple..." Connie whispered to Jean as Levi 'tch'd to (Y/N)'s accusation. "Connie, no one cares" Jean grumbled, clearly being jealous. There was an awkward silence between the squad before Hanji broke it by starting to talk about the founding titan.

On the way to the wall, the possibilities of getting rid of Rod Reiss was discussed, Eren tried to stop Rod Reiss with his titan powers, calling him a little old man thus earning a glare from Levi and Historia came to terms with the fact that her father will be killed. After reaching the wall, the squad went to the regiment branch in Orvud district and a cadet notified the squad about the meeting that's about to take place in the hall. "Historia, forgot to tell you, we need you to do something" Levi said approaching Historia. "Yes?" Historia asked.

"Erwin's orders. When this battle is over, since you're the true successor to the throne, become the queen." he finished. Connie and Jean tried to say that it was unfair to put Historia in such a position out of nowhere but Historia agreed to be the queen. However, she said, "But heichou, I have one condition." "Huh?" Levi questioned her as she replied, "Since my fate is my own, I want to lay it on the line." Historia was allowed her wish. As everyone went to the meeting, (Y/N) said to her, "When you're queen, make sure to give Sasha a buffet meal at your castle. I owe her one." "When you're queen, you can punch that runt in the face." Mikasa said to Historia. Historia's body tensed at that.

(Y/N) POV

Uncle Erwin revealed the plan to us. Orvud district won't be evacuated because the damage would be far greater if Rod Reiss gets to the main wall. The plan was to blow up Rod Reiss's hands as he reached the wall and then Eren was supposed to throw explosives into his mouth. That is if the cannons don't work. As everything was being assembled, Levi came towards me and said with a monotone voice, "(Y/N), I need to talk to you in private. Come with me." I followed him to an empty hallway in the regiment branch.

When we reached, he said keeping his bored face, "(Y/N), I don't want you on front lines. I've told this to you before and you didn't listen but..." but I stopped him and said with a similar bored but determined expression, "Levi, for plan B, you need the best soldiers you've got. We both know that the nape and all the other pieces needs to be cut properly to finish Rod Reiss off for good. Our aim has to be perfect...". Levi stopped me this time. With an expression that clearly showed his annoyance because of my interjection, he said, "I know that (Y/N) but this is too dangerous. I need you and the baby to be safe..." I stopped him again and said looking down on the floor, "So you want me to act like an useless housewife? That's right, you said you hate that kind of women. Is this your way of preparing to leave me? ".

I hated it when he acted like I couldn't protect myself. "(Y/N), if I were to leave you, I wouldn't devise any bullshit plot like that. And, you're nothing near the useless housewife type. If you were anything like that, I'd not be wasting my time here. You are strong but... Well, I'll be honest with you, I could've never been ready for a family if I wasn't forced into it by circumstances. Now that I am facing circumstances like that, I don't want to loose the possibility of finding some peace. Every single person I ever cared about ended up being dead and I don't want to deal with that again.." Levi tried to explain clearly getting more frustrated before I stopped him. I understood his fears but I needed to do this.

"Levi, didn't you tell me that you're with me because I have a higher chance of survival? You have to trust me on this, Levi. I promise to stay away from the explosion but I need to be there to cut off the pieces of Rod Reiss. Just, have some faith in me. I won't die on you. Our kid won't die on you too. I'll make sure of that. I promise." I told him in a soothing voice. Levi stared at me for a moment and said, "Okay. In that case, don't die. Both of you. The others will be looking for us. Let's go." before starting to leave. I followed him.

"Levi, Jean, Sasha, Connie, see that side. (Y/N), you're helping Hanji with tying the explosives up." Uncle Erwin commanded as he was talking to Historia. We were watching how the cannons were working a while back. According to Levi, it was like insects pissing on the titan and I couldn't agree more. Eren and Armin were helping me weave the net while Mikasa was stacking up the gun powder. Eren got up suddenly and looked down from the wall.

Apparently some kids down there reminded him of himself. Armin agreed to it but said that circumstances were different now. Suddenly, Eren started punching himself and Mikasa had to stop him. "Eren! It's not time yet!" Armin shouted at him. As Eren started rambling about him beating up an useless runt, I interjected and said, "Eren, stop your bullshit. No one cares about how you feel about yourself. We don't have much time before Rod Reiss is upon us. Get your job done first." "Sorry (Y/N).." Eren muttered as like everyone, he still was scared of me to some point even if I was friendly to them.

The cannons failed at the end. Plan B was put into action. We drenched ourselves in water to minimize the heat emitted from Rod Reiss. Levi asked the garrison captain to retreat as it was time for the survey corps to take action. Eren had transformed into a titan and was already in his position as well as Armin and Sasha. Uncle Erwin held his hand up with a flare gun. He commanded to commence the mission by shooting the red smoke flare. Armin and Sasha used the manoeuvre gear attached explosives to aim at Rod Reiss's hands.

The explosions made him loose balance as planned. Uncle Erwin commanded Eren to go get the explosives in Rod Reiss's mouth. He did exactly as planned and Rod Reiss blew up. "All troops! Finish it off with your ODM gear!" He commanded as we all flew from the wall and started cutting the huge chunks of flesh out. It was planned that Historia would cut the nape. Levi and I dealt with most of the chunks before landing safely on the ground. Historia did her part as well. It was over.

Levi POV

Just as I landed, I went to check on (Y/N). I felt relieved to see that she landed safe too. "Oi (Y/N), we need to report to Erwin. Come on." I told her as I walked towards her. "Yeah.. Well, can you wait for a while? I feel like I'll puke.." (Y/N) muttered, clearly looking sick. "Okay, I'll tell Erwin that you're feeling sick. You don't have to report." I told her as she muttered a "thanks" before looking at Sasha, who was nearby and ordering her to take (Y/N) to the military quarters. I went to the scout regiment branch to Erwin's office there. He already was there when I arrived.

"Where's (Y/N)? Is she okay?" Erwin asked me with a concerned expression. "She's fine. She's getting morning sickness again. I sent her back to the quarters with Sasha." I notified him in my usual monotone voice. "Ah. I see. Before you report everything, I need you to go back to the Reiss Chapel. Take some men with you. We need to find out if anyone from the anti personale squad are alive. If they are, they could be a threat. Our job now is to officially announce Historia as the queen and eliminate all threats. The military police aren't much effective as they are all corrupted, so, we will have to take matters in our hand." Erwin explained. "Okay. I'll arrange a search party" I answered before leaving the room. I needed some tea before this new bullshit.

When I was done with my tea, I went to the canteen and chose some random survey Corp soldiers because I wasn't feeling like picking specific people and went towards the Reiss Chapel. I didn't take my own squad because they already had been through enough for the past few days and they deserved a break. We dug out all the remaining members of the anti personale squad from the ruins except Kenny. All were dead.

"Oi, search the perimeter. With those injuries, he can't go far" I commanded everyone as they went to look for him. A while later, one of them came back and informed me that he found Kenny. I followed him to the place. "Kenny" I called him out in a bored voice as I stood in front of him. "Oh gee. It's you?" he answered in an equally bored voice before coughing up some blood. "Your comrades we fought, they all ended up getting crushed. Are you the only survivor?" I asked, my voice void of any emotion. I personally was void of any emotion towards that man.

"Seems that way" he answered with a hint of remorse in his voice. I was taken slightly off guard by that. When did he start feeling remorse? "Report back. I'm fine here alone." I commanded the soldier with me. "Understood" he replied before leaving. "With those burns and that blood loss, there's no helping you now." I stated monotonously. "Yeah? I wonder.." he said with sarcasm dripping in his voice when I finally noticed the syringe beside him. The same type used to turn people into titans.

"I swiped this one right out of Rod's bag. I'm guessing, using one of these'll make me a titan. I'll be a stupid titan but it should keep me alive for a little longer... If I don't do it right, I'll probably turn out all messed up like him." he sighed weakly. "There's no way you'd sit around and wait to die. Don't you have a better excuse?" I asked. "Sure, I don't want to die and I want power. But... Oh, I think I just got it. Why he did that." he mumbled.

"Huh?" I replied, completely confused. Was he just rambling because he was dying or was it something relevant? "Every last person I've seen was the same way. Whether it was booze, women, or even God. Family, the king, dreams, children, power... They couldn't keep going unless they were drunk on something. They were all slaves to something, even him." he said before coughing up some more blood. "What are you? A hero? Stop shitting me.. Even you're drunk on something. It's that girl, (Y/N) right? She's a good one, I'll give you that. I expected better than 'she had morning sickness' though. Seems like you've grown up. Just like Kuchel.." he said with a tone of sarcasm in his voice as chuckled weakly.

"How did you know about her in the first place?" I asked him. I was curious about it for a long time. "It's not very hard to get information about you. That girl, Emilia or something, she talked. Seemed like she was ready to open her legs for any Ackerman" he chuckled. I saw the light slowly leaving his eyes. "Kenny! Tell me everything you know. Why doesn't the first king want humanity to survive?" I asked him with haste. I had to get all the information I can from him before he dies. "Like I'd know. But it's the reason we Ackermans opposed him." he replied weakly. "My last name seems to be Ackerman too. You.. What were you to my mother really?" I asked him finally. I didn't know if I wanted to know the answer. He chuckled weakly at that before saying, "You idiot, I was just her brother."

That night, when I was fucking (Y/N), my mind wasn't on her. Kenny's words were clouded in my mind. He was right, she was a huge driving factor for me. Now that she's pregnant, I had to make things official at some point. The retake of wall Maria will be planned after Historia's coronation. That means, this peace won't last for long. I also knew that (Y/N) and I couldn't possibly raise a kid in the scout regiment headquarters. I didn't bother to pull out while cumming.

I lay down beside her as she snuggled next to me. We were staying at the military quarters in Orvud district. "You were distracted the whole time." she stated. "Huh?" I asked taken slightly by surprise that she noticed. "What's wrong?" she asked as she looked up at me. "It's nothing. Don't worry about it." I answered calmly. She didn't drag the matter further. Instead, she asked, "How did searching the Reiss Chapel go?". "It was alright. Kenny was still alive when we found him. Apparently he was my uncle." I answered with a monotone voice. She didn't give me any reply for that.

I liked how she never dragged any matter that I didn't want to talk about or showed any pity towards me. I heard a soft snoring a while later. She was already asleep. She did help me with my paperwork though, so, I understood why she was tired. I looked at her calm and peaceful face and made a huge decision. I had to buy an engagement ring the next day. Even if it meant that I had to give up my guarding duties during Historia's coronation.

I woke up at dawn to find a drooling (Y/N) beside me. Tch... She drooled all over me... I got up, used a handkerchief to wipe the drool off her face, closed her mouth and went to take a shower. When I was back, I found her sitting up on the bed, yawning. "How late am I?" she grunted as she rubbed her eyes. "Not too much. If you go take a shower right now, you'll be 10 minutes late" I answered as I wore the survey corps coat.

"I guess I'll skip shower then..." she started but I interjected her to say, "You're not sleeping on my bed then.". She threw a glare at me before walking into the bathroom. I went to the canteen and found my squad there. I walked up to Mikasa and said, "Oi, you're Historia's body guard today. If Erwin asks where I went to, say him that I've got some work to do and I'll join the ceremony a bit late." " Yes heichou." she answered, clearly annoyed.

I drank my tea at a separate table before it was time to go to the capital Mitras. (Y/N) just arrived in the breakfast hall as we were leaving so she just got to take a steamed potato wrapped in a paper packet before leaving with us. Mikasa and I were in Historia's carriage. (Y/N) was with the other squad members. When we reached the capital, as we were going through the market, I told Mikasa, "I'll leave now. Don't mess this up." and got off the carriage as she was saying "Yes heichou.".

I've been to this market before to get suits for myself. I walked around the place before finding the jewellery store I was looking for. I came here with Hanji before as I usually attended military charity events with her. Hanji apparently got a great deal with some earrings or whatever and grabbed me with her to pick those up just before going to the event. I entered the store and this red headed woman sat inside. She welcomed me in a bored voice, at least until she noticed who I am. "A-are you Levi Ackerman? From the scouts?" she stammered as I walked towards her.

"Yes. That's me. Anyway, do you sell rings?" I answered in a monotone voice. Tch.. Another fan girl.. "Y-yes! Of course!" she stammered again before pulling up a box of men's rings. "The one with the grey stone will match your eye..." she said dreamily but I casually told her, "I'm sorry, I was looking for engagement rings. For women.". She looked like someone punctured her balloon full of fantasies.

"Who's the lucky woman?" she asked trying to sound interested even if her voice clearly showed disapproval. "Well, it's gonna be on newspapers soon anyway." I answered calmly. I didn't want to discuss my relationship with a random woman. She pulled out a different box, filled with women's rings. I chose a simple platinum ring with a single small diamond embedded into it. I knew it would be expensive but I wanted to do something nice for (Y/N). "That would be 500 gold coins." the woman answered. I took out my purse, and gave all the coins in it to her, she used a counting machine to count the amount of gold coins there and returned the rest of the coins. She packed the ring up into a ring box and I took it and left the shop in a hurry.

(Y/N) POV

I got down from the carriage and walked towards Historia's carriage. We were inside the military police headquarters in Capital Mitras. I knew that Levi would be with Historia there however, I didn't expect him to take Mikasa with him. I saw Mikasa and Historia get down from the carriage. There was no sign of Levi. Uncle Erwin was also there, talking to Mikasa. "That's quiet irresponsible of him.. He never did anything like that before.." I overheard uncle Erwin as I approached them.

"Good that you're here (Y/N). Did Levi mention to you about any personal work that he had to go to?" Uncle Erwin asked me as I stood infront of them. "Uh, no he didn't mention anything." I answered. That must be the reason for his disappearance. What could this personal work be? "I see.. Well, I'm sure he'll be back soon." Uncle Erwin said confidently before taking Historia to meet the other commanders and the Supreme commander. Mikasa followed them as I went back to the rest of the squad. "Where's heichou?" Sasha asked me. She mostly liked me because I always gave her some of my food. She even ate half of my steamed potato this morning. "I don't know. Apparently he had some work." I muttered.

We gathered in front of the stage before the coronation started. Mikasa near the stage. Suddenly, I saw Levi walk towards her and say something to her before she walked back towards us. While Mikasa was cussing him for being late and making her do his job, I was wondering what work he went to get done. The coronation didn't take long. Erwin called Levi to talk to him about his indiscipline and the squad was in charge of being with Historia. After Historia talked to the press, we were on our way to the scout regiment branch in the capital Mitras.

"Everything happened so fast... I'll miss you guys all a lot.." Historia sighed in the carriage. Sasha started crying and talking about how Historia gave her a bread the first time they met and how she thinks Historia is a God, Connie and Jean made some awkward attempts to say that they will miss her too. Eren said that he's happy for her. Mikasa said nothing. "Oi, Historia, I have a far important duty for you than being queen." I told her amongst all the commotion. Everyone had shut their mouths after hearing the statement for obvious reasons. They probably thought I'll say something important. "Huh?" she asked, clearly confused.

"Take care of my kid when I'm out in expeditions. You could do that right?" I asked her with a straight face. "I... Of course!" she said with a surprised expression. She didn't expect me to trust her with my kid. However, knowing the type of childhood she had, I knew she would be perfect. "Oh, and don't forget about getting Sasha that buffet meal." I added. "Huhhhh?" Sasha exclaimed. "Well, you gave me that bread remember? That day when Kenny attacked us? It's just payback." I answered breaking her confusion. Yet again, Sasha started crying, and, calling me God this time while Connie muttered an "I told you that you won't regret it" to Sasha with a grin.

It took a while for Sasha to calm down. The rest of the trip was quiet. We started talking once again when we were walking in the corridor of the scout regiment branch. We could see Levi standing far from us in the same corridor. "I'll hit him today" Historia told us seriously. "Hold on, you're seriously doing it Historia?" Eren exclaimed. "Yeah I am." Historia answered trying to hide the fear in her voice. "Mikasa was just joking about it! Right, Mikasa?" Eren said with a concerned voice, clearly trying to save Historia from the possibility of getting herself killed. I was just enjoying the show just like Mikasa, who replied,

"After you smack him, tell him this.. 'I dare you to hit me back'" with a serious tone. "Try inserting some insults there too." I added to that with an equally serious tone. I really was enjoying this. "Damn you two..." Eren told us with a disapproving look before turning back to Historia and saying, "If it's not a real grudge, just forget it.". To that, Historia replied, "If I can't do this, how can I call myself queen?". Jean caught on with the amusing side of it pretty quickly and said, "Hell yeah, Historia. That's the spirit!" with an evil smile. Before we noticed it, we were already near Levi. Levi noticed us too and moved towards us.

There was a look of pure fear on Historia's face before she gave a battle cry and charged at Levi, giving him a weak punch on his biceps. Everyone except myself and Mikasa shouted out at surprise at this. Both Mikasa and I had a grin on our faces. “How’d you like that? I'm the queen! If you got a problem..." Historia's failing attempt at sounding brave was interrupted by Levi's sudden chuckle. Everyone including myself was surprised at that. Levi never smiled in front of anyone except myself. What's gotten into him? He looked at everyone and said, "Thank you... All of you." before looking at me and saying with a grin, "(Y/N), do me a favour and go to my office. There's a box with a ring on the table. Wear that and come find me at Erwin's office. We need to tell him that we are engaged.".

With that, he walked away leaving me dumbfounded. This time, everyone looked at me with surprised expressions. "Did he just propose you?" Historia asked me, clearly confused and surprised. An uncharacteristically huge smile formed on my face. "Yeah... I suppose he did..." I muttered before running off to Levi's office. "This must be the weirdest day in human history. Historia is queen, Levi heichou smiled in front of us, (Y/N) is looking like a love sick puppy..." I could hear Connie ramble in the distance.

[AUTHOR'S NOTE: I was confused about (Y/N)'s age until recently when I planned to get her pregnant. To be clear, (Y/N) is 19 years old, she will turn 20 soon and I'll write a chapter about her birthday. Levi is 30 years old, thus making an age gap of about 11 years, which is supposed to be quiet normal inside the walls because almost everything there is like medieval ages. (Y/N) joined the trainee corps at the age of 14, while wall Maria was infiltrated when she was 12. I'll write a spinoff chapter on how she spent the two years in-between.]

To be continued...

Taglist: @reality-is-often-disappointing, @kingtamakimurder

#levi smut #levi aot #shingeki no kyoujin levi #levi x reader #levi attack on titan #levi x fem!reader #levi×reader #levi ackerman #captain levi

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eryiss · 4 years

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Fraxus Week 2020: Day 5 - Friends To Lovers

Summary: After a crappy post-college first year, Laxus jumped at the opportunity to leave town for a week for a road trip with his friends. He intended it just to be a week away with his friends, but when he meets an unfamiliar stranger, the vacation turns into something much more. [Fraxus Multichapter]

This is the fifth part of my Fraxus Week admissions, hosted by @fuckyeahfraxus. This year I’ve made the prompts into a single multi-chapter fic. You can see all the chapters in the Masterpost linked below. Hope you enjoy.

You can read this on Fanfiction, Archive of our Own, and under the cut. Read the other chapters from this masterlist.

Chapter Five – Talks at The Canyon

"Okay, what is up with you two?"

Laxus looked towards Bickslow with a guilty expression. He had hoped that he'd hidden the awkwardness between Freed and himself better, but obviously he'd failed. In retrospect, Laxus probably should have been suspicious when Bickslow insisted that Freed be the one to fill the RV with gas this time, rather than doing it himself. Still, just because Bickslow knew about how awkward he was behaving, it didn't mean Laxus had to explain why.

"What d'you mean?" He asked, voice a little too timid for his liking.

"I mean you two slunk out of the motel room this morning and wouldn't even look at each other, and you've not spoken to each other all day," Bickslow listed off, and Laxus realised they really hadn't hidden their awkwardness well. "So what exactly happened?"

"It's nothing," Laxus insisted.

"Bull crap," Bickslow snapped. "Look, if you two had a fight or something you can't keep it a secret. Ever's gonna get it out of ya if I don't, so you might as well tell me now."

That was probably true, both of his friends were annoyingly talented at getting information out of someone when they needed to. But Laxus felt it was probably for the best that he kept the events of last night to himself, and accomplished that by looking straight ahead out of the front window in a childish attempt to bore Bickslow to a point where he would leave him alone. Bickslow raised both of his eyebrows in disbelief at Laxus' actions, waiting.

They both sat in silence for a few moments, and Laxus almost thought that he had won. Bickslow let out a huff of annoyance, and Laxus practically prayed that the man would leave him alone so that he wouldn't have to relive what he'd done.

"Laxus," Bickslow said in a slightly pleading voice; he too was being childish then. "We're gonna be at the canyon today. It's gonna be really awkward hiking around a big hole if you two are arguing. I can't even make big hole jokes because I'll be scared of making things worse somehow. Just tell me."

"It's…" Laxus thought for a moment. "I did something stupid."

There. That was something. Perhaps it would placate the man.

"Stupid how?"

"Just stupid," Laxus sighed, running a hand through his hair in frustration.

From the corner of his eye, Laxus could see that Bickslow was looking at him with more concern than interest now. Maybe it was best to tell him; the guy was pretty sympathetic when he wanted to be. Hell, the only reason they were on this road trip was because he wanted his friends to feel better. Maybe he could offer Laxus some advice.

"I kissed him last night," Laxus admitted with an exhale.

"Oh," Bickslow said, and he was clearly not expecting that. "And… he didn't kiss back. He pushed you off?"

"No, he kissed back," Laxus closed his eyes as he spoke.

"And that's bad because…"

"We got drunk, raided the mini-bar," Laxus confessed, and he saw Bickslow's brow furrow at the admission, but he didn't say anything. "We watched crap TV and then started talking. And he told me that his ex'd cheated on him, that's why they broke up, and that he's feeling crappy. And I was kinda buzzed, y'know, I kinda…"

"Kissed him?" Bickslow finished.

"Yeah, basically," Laxus sighed. "I mean I said some shit about how I would have treated him if I were him, and how he didn't deserve to get cheated on. Then I kissed him, and he kissed me back."

Bickslow seemed to be thinking, as his gaze went a little distant. This had always been something that Laxus had appreciated about the other man; even despite his hyper personality, he was actually quite a thoughtful person, and Laxus knew that he was thinking of the best thing to say. And any advice that he might have would probably be helpful, even if the feeling of waiting for him to say something was making Laxus feel sick.

"Right," Bickslow eventually said. "Well, kissing a guy while drunk isn't your best move, it's probably not your worst either. I mean if he kissed ya back then he's probably interested, and he's been stealing glances as much as you have. What happened after?"

"I pulled away, went back to my bed, turned my back on him and pretended I was asleep," Laxus muttered.

"Laxus," Bickslow snapped, and slapped his bicep.

"I ain't proud of it," Laxus tried to defend himself. "But it was just like, when I kissed him I got sober. Like someone poured cold water over me. And I realised that I barely know the guy, that he just got cheated on, and that the last thing he's gonna want is some random guy kissing him. and then being trapped with the same guy for days."

"You think maybe he might have had an opinion on that?" Bickslow asked incredulously.

"I panicked," Laxus groaned. "I was embarrassed. I felt like I took advantage of him or something. Shutting myself off seemed like the best thing to do."

"Well you're gonna have ta talk about it, baby," Bickslow said soothingly. "Because if you don't, you're gonna end up regretting it, and the rest of the trip is gonna be really fucking painful for us all. Especially the two of you."

"I know," Laxus sighed.

He glanced out of the window to see that Evergreen and Freed were talking outside, no doubt having a similar conversation, and Laxus deflated slightly. He would talk to the other man, because he really would regret it if he didn't. It had been quite some time since Laxus had felt like this with a man, and he knew better than to just throw the feeling away because of embarrassment, and that he shouldn't give up.

And when Freed happened to glance up, and they caught each other's eyes before both turning away, Laxus knew that he had to talk to him soon.

~~~

"It's erm," Bickslow began. "It's kinda breath-taking."

"It is," Evergreen said, and both Freed and Laxus nodded in agreement.

They had arrived at the Grand Canyon, and had been given the unhindered view of the landscape. They could see it all, and the cloudless blue sky only added to the majesty of the place. There was something oddly humbling about the view, as if it were putting everything into perspective for Laxus, and the blonde couldn't help but release that his embarrassment about the previous night was so utterly stupid that he physically cringed at himself.

He had turned his back on the man. Literally looked away from him because of his stupid decision to kiss him. He had acted like a damn kid in a crappy high school TV show. It all seemed so pathetic now, Laxus could barely handle it.

His gaze fell on Freed again.

God was he handsome.

"Well, we ain't getting any younger, so we better start walkin' if we wanna get around the place by the end of the day," Bickslow proclaimed. "Come on Freedo Justineo."

"Oh please don't start calling me that," Freed requested, and Laxus jolted at the sound of his voice.

"You and I are gonna forge ahead and leave those assholes in the dust," Bickslow grinned as he slung an arm over Freed's shoulder. "Because Ever is stupid and she decided to bring only heeled shoes to a damn canyon, and Laxus is a muscle head who doesn't have any stamina and he'll be exhausted by the time we're out of the parking lot. So off we go, into the pit."

Bickslow was marching off, essentially dragging Freed with him, before the man could make any real complaints. That left Laxus with Evergreen, who was looking at him expectantly. When he glanced down, he noticed she was wearing flat shoes.

"Those ain't heels," He commented.

"So you're not completely stupid," Evergreen said, a little harsher than Laxus liked.

"What's that tone for?" Laxus asked indignantly.

"You kissed him, didn't say anything for the rest of the night and then pretended to be asleep," She huffed, crossing her arms. "You even turned the damn lamp off. What were you thinking?"

"I was drunk," Laxus tried to explain.

"You've been drunk a lot of times around me and you've never been so stupid before," She chastised him, and Laxus had half a mind to walk off. He would have, had Evergreen not been right. "I get that you might have panicked, or that you even regretted it for some reason, but is that really the best thing you could think of doing. Just ignoring him isn't going to get rid of the problem, if anything it's going to put a massive focus on it because of how much effort you're putting into ignoring it."

"I know," Laxus groaned. "And I'm gonna talk to him about it. Gonna apologise to him."

"And say what exactly?" Evergreen asked.

Laxus hadn't actually thought of that. After speaking with Bickslow, the rest of the trip to the canyon had been spent convincing himself that he had the courage to speak to the man despite the bubble of nervous embarrassment that filled him when he so much as looked at him. He had been so focused on getting the courage to say anything to him, he had almost forgotten that what he said to him had to be meaningful and impactful.

Evergreen apparently saw the struggle Laxus was going through, and her posture changed to something less annoyed. She placed a hand on Laxus' arm in a comforting way, patting it softly. Laxus was glad she didn't seem angry at him anymore.

"What am I gonna say to him?" Laxus mused aloud.

"I don't know," Evergreen said carefully. "But I think that, before you start thinking about that, you need to be sure of what you actually want with Freed. If you wanna be friends with him, go out with him, never see him after the week ends. Because if you don't know that then talking about it isn't going to help anything."

Laxus knew that. He knew he had to know what he wanted. And he basically did know what he wanted. But he probably couldn't have that, because of one big problem.

"The guy was just cheated on-"

"I know," Evergreen interrupted. "But I'm not asking you what the gallant thing to do is. I'm asking you what you, Laxus Dreyar, want with Freed. What the ideal end to the week would be for you."

Laxus sighed to himself. "I'd wanna be with him, I guess. But I don't have a clue if he's ready or not-"

"That's his problem, Laxus," Evergreen assured him. "If he wants to start dating someone or he doesn't, that's nothing to do with you. But if he is ready, and I think that he might be, then you need to let him know you're interested. He's not broken, and he's not fragile. If anything he's pissed off, partly about being cheated on and partly because he knew exactly why you closed yourself off last night."

"You think?" Laxus asked, deflating.

"He's a smart guy, Laxus. Smartest one here," Evergreen shrugged. "Look, I'm not saying that you have to have a wedding planned out or anything, but I think it'll be good for you to think about what Freed might be for you. And now's as good a time as any to think, because as nice as this place is, walking around it is going to get very boring very quickly. So just take today, think about what you want, and think about how you're going to tell Freed about it. The rest is up to the two of you, okay?"

"Okay," Laxus nodded.

He already knew, in his gut, what he wanted from Freed. Now he just had to convince himself that it was the right thing for the both of them.

~~~

It was dark now, but they were still at the canyon. Multiple lights illuminated the landscape, and stars shimmered down on them all. Laxus looked at the RV with a small amount of trepidation, nerves bubbling in his stomach as he walked forward.

All day he'd been thinking about what Evergreen and Bickslow had spoken to him about. He'd thought about what he might want with Freed – if it could be something serious or casual, if it was just a crush he could get over or something bigger than that, if he could get past the embarrassment of the previous night and get over his pride to explain that sometimes, when it came to his emotions, he was a fucking idiot. His entire mind had been a mess of possibilities, and most of the day Laxus had felt almost sick.

And then an image stuck him, and image of a possible future. He thought about him and Freed, watching TV together in a similar way they had the night before. They were sharing a pizza, and when Freed leaned up and kissed him, Laxus had kissed back happily.

After that, more possibilities hit him. Each just as tempting as the last.

The two of them at the beach. Freed would have been reading for hours, and Laxus would have slung him over his shoulder and taken him to the water, making some joke about how he wanted the man's attention.

Or the first time it snowed in Magnolia one year. They might have gone to a Christmas market, eating the Russian food that was served and enjoying themselves.

Or a lazy breakfast together, eating in Laxus' kitchen side by side as they struggled to keep their eyes open.

It was then that Laxus had been left with no doubt, and all his questions had been answered. He didn't want something casual with Freed, he wanted a full and loving relationship. It wasn't just a crush, it was more akin to infatuation, and Laxus didn't care that he had only known the man for a short time. And he didn't give a damn about his pride because Freed was worth more than Laxus' dignity. And hopefully, if Freed knew that Laxus wasn't just an emotionally incompetent idiot, he might give him a chance to make his desires come true.

All he had to do was approach the man.

They had all decided that, after spending the day hiking, they would spend the night at the canyon's parking lot. As the night was still warm, Freed had chosen that he would read his novel outside. Well, that's what he claimed, what he actually meant was he was going to read on the rooftop of the RV. Taking a breath to steady himself, Laxus took the ladder in hand and climbed it.

"Hey," He greeted, and Freed looked towards him. "Mind if I join you?"

"By all means," Freed made a motion towards Laxus.

After stepping off the small ladder, Laxus shifted so that he was sitting beside Freed. If the man looked radiant in the sunlight, he looked positively gorgeous in the moonlight. The darker and cooler colours seemed to just accent everything that was perfect about the man. From his striking features to his slightly paler than normal skin, it all seemed to be just a little more beautiful in the moonlight. It made the conversation Laxus wanted to have both harder to start, and more important to have as soon as possible.

"Look, I just wanted to say, I'm sorry for what happened last night," Laxus began. "Not that I kissed ya. Well, kind of actually. Not that I'm sorry about kissing ya, more that I'm sorry I kissed ya in the way that I did. That's not what I'm trying to say. What I'm trying to say… what I need to say is…"

Laxus cussed himself silently. He had known what he had wanted to say, how come it was so hard to get the actual words out.

"I think what you need is a minute to gather your thoughts a little better," Freed said, a pleasant teasing tone in his voice.

"Yeah," Laxus nodded. "Sorry, I thought that I knew what I was gonna say. Turns out I don't."

Freed chuckled, placing the book down and turning so he was looking at Laxus face on, sitting cross legged with a patient expression on his face. Laxus wasn't entirely sure that he had earned such an expression, given how he had treated Freed the night before, but Evergreen had insisted that Freed understood his actions and wasn't angry at him. Well, nothing that he couldn't fix if he acted quickly at least.

"Okay, what I meant to say was, I'm sorry I kissed you in the way I did last night," Laxus began after thinking for a moment. "We were both drunk, and my judgment wasn't great. You had just been pretty emotionally vulnerable with me, and for some fucking reason I thought it was the right time to try and kiss you. And I'm sorry about that."

"You don't need to-"

"I do," Laxus cut him off, making eye contact with him. "Look, I ain't good with feelings and crap. I normally get panicked and awkward, and I apparently sometimes do stupid stuff like this. And the only reason I can get away with it is because people call me out on my bullshit. You seem like the kinda guy who can do that, so don't be kind when you don't need to."

"Asking me not to show restraint can be a dangerous thing, Laxus," Freed said with a chuckle in his tone. "But I understand that. I have a habit of closing myself off and not discussing things. Bickslow's words, not mine."

"They been givin' you the third degree today too?" Laxus asked.

"They're annoyingly good at it, aren't they?" Freed laughed, before smiling at Laxus pleasantly. "I do forgive you, Laxus. Admittedly, ignoring each other isn't what I would have wanted the end of our first kiss to be, but I can't deny I've done idiotic things when overwhelmed. And I understand it, so don't worry yourself about it."

"Thanks," Laxus nodded a little.

He looked towards the other man, and felt something of an ache in his stomach. The fact Freed could forgive him in such an understanding way made Laxus feel warm inside in a way he couldn't describe. In Laxus' past attempts at relationships, often his clumsy attempts at understanding and dealing with his emotions had left to arguments. Rightfully so, Laxus knew that in hindsight. But the fact that Freed was willing to understand that it hadn't been malicious was something of a comfort that Laxus couldn't help but crave more of.

"There's a little more," Laxus confessed. "It's erm, well, the reason I acted like I did after I kissed you is that, well, I didn't just feel like I'm taking advantage of you. It felt like I kinda, I dunno, wasted my first kiss with ya," Laxus blushed, and averted his gaze. "I don't… the kiss wasn't just a drunk impulse. It's erm… it's something I wanted to do while sober but didn't have the balls."

God, he really needed to get better at talking.

"And the fact I kissed ya at such a bad time, kinda scared me. Because if I was thinking I'm a dickhead for kissing you at that time, I thought you'd think the same and-"

Freed interrupted Laxus' ramblings by leaning over, cupping Laxus' chin with his thumb and finger, and bringing his closer. Laxus' eyes widened, and a moment later he was being kissed.

It was magical.

Laxus' memory of their drunken kiss was hazy at best, and was overshadowed by the regret and embarrassment. But in this moment, he felt engrossed by Freed. As if the two of them were the only people of importance, and he was almost overwhelmed by the sensation of Freed. The movement of Freed's lips against his chapped ones, the calloused hand on his thigh Freed was using to keep balance, the sight of the man's eyes closing softly in a fluttering motion.

At the movement, Laxus closed his own eyes and allowed himself to be dragged further into the lure of Freed's kiss. It was perfect.

When they eventually pulled apart, they both were a little breathless. They kept their faces only an inch apart, and Laxus was blushing slightly. He had kissed Freed while sober. Freed, the man who had captured Laxus' attention and seemed reluctant to let it go, had just kissed him. And it had been perfect.

"Does this mean that-" Laxus began, but Freed shushed him with a smile.

"We can discuss things after the trip is done," Freed promised. "Right now, I think we've earned the right to enjoy each other."

Freed was kissing him before he could argue. Not that he would have anyway.

#fraxus week #fraxus week 2020 #fraxus #freed justine #Laxus Dreyar #fairy tail #fanfic #writing #event #multichapter #modern au

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hottmessexpresss · 4 years

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**Trigger Warning** Those who are sensitive to topics such as: drug-use, over-dose, and language/descriptions/scenarios involving drugs and drug activity, please do not continue reading, or read at your own risk**

I remember I was in the parking lot of a 24 hour fitness in Bakersfield, Ca. I remember distinctly feeling like I was wrapped in a warm, weighted blanket. My breathing was shallow, but it felt "nice". I felt as if some large fluffy llama was sitting directly on my chest. Oddly enough, I felt at peace...and I felt very, very, sleepy. I didn't feel scared. I felt "whole" for the first time- I felt...happy.

Unknown time had lapsed and I woke up with vomit all over my shirt. I was dazed and confused, and blisfully unaware of my surroundings. I came to, and the passenger next to me was crying and repeatedly saying, "I don't want to go to jail. I don't want to go to jail."

That was my first and only opiate induced over-dose, and before Narcan has been heavily encouraged and issued. If you think that was enough to scare me, you're dead wrong.

Fast forward 6 years, give or take...and here I am sitting in the hospital watching my husband writhe in pain. He just had a total shoulder replacement surgery for a second time, at 42 years old (that is considered "young" for this type of evasive surgery.) My husband never shows he is pain, and has been dealing with this pain for over a year. Doctors never took him seriously. He didn't "look" to be in pain, and his physiological responses didn't "show" he was in pain. Often, there was frustration. Anger. Resentment. Not a soul believed him, and he had accepted he was going to have to deal with it for the remainder of his life. My husband served 21 years in the United States Military. His body is proof of what men and women can endure ensuring our freedoms are protected.

My husband has said, "If it weren't for these junkies, I wouldn't have to be jumping through hoops to be taken seriously." It didn't offend me. It didn't hurt my feelings. With the recent (but not new) opiate epidemic, my mind has been reeling with questions, thoughts, and residual pain. How* do we as a society, fix this problem? What can be done to HELP? What types of out-patient, low cost programs could make an impact in communities of these (addicts) people?

Drugs do not discriminate. When I was detained by the oh-so-lovely, Bakersfield Police Department back in 2014, I was treated as less than a person. "How long have you been doing drugs??? You're too pretty and young to be a tweaker." I was humiliated. I sat in silence, and in that moment "they" had won. I wanted to tell them....."If you only knew me.....if you only knew my story....my amazing, loving, parents...my upbringing, my home...my college education....." but to them, I was just 'another tweaker,' and another case number to report on. The stigma is there. I've seen comments on numerous facebook posts, "tweakers deserve to die." But my friends, they do not. If it weren't for the passanger in my car 6 years ago (even if it were for selfish reasons...AKA not going to jail) I would not have had my beautiful babies, and I would not have had a fighting chance to change my life in a productive and meaningful way.

Not even a full 24 hours after surgery, my husband's nerve block started to wear off. We paged his nurse for relief......and what happened? The on-call resident had a nurse bring my husband Tylenol. Tylenol. After a major surgery. I was offended, and in that moment, I felt embarrassed. There are people out here in this world in legitimate pain. Because of the sudden intensity of the current opiate epidemic, they (pain patients) were forced to taper off of their medication completely, or cut back harshly on their medication. Is this the right thing to do? Is this fair to those battling pain daily with the medical records to back it all up? This is where most addictions can start. "It's a prescription by my doctor... so it's fine." I can bet most do not abuse them, because of course, they need them. But there also people out in this world with emotional pain.

The first time I tried Oxycontin, I felt the effects relatively quickly. Battling depression since 12 years of age, I was dealing with my parents divorce and remarriages, new family dynamics, being a fat, and bullied nerd....I never took medication long enough to know if it would be helpful to me. So in that moment, naiive to what was to come, not knowing my genetic predisposition, I thought to myself, "so THIS is happiness....THIS is what "normal" feels like." And so began my endless and bottomless search for that euphoric happiness, and my self-medication began.

My husband was finally given an Oxycodone 11 HOURS later. It was horrible seeing his face knowing he was in unbearable pain. "We're giving you two doses of Oxycodone, Mr. Steele." My ears. I heard the name, and I knew it all too well. A former best-friend of mine; one whom I loved more than myself and loved more than anything else in this entire world at one point. The word itself, triggered me. Almost 6 years of being free and clear off that shit, and the word alone sent my neurotransmitters firing rapidly and excitedly. My brain started to illict a chemical and emotional response... to a fuckin' word*. I started to feel anxious. Uneasy. Worried. Angry. Jealous. To those who have never been addicted to drugs, this probably sounds absolutely CRAZY to you. How can someone be jealous of someone in legitimate pain and taking pain pills? Well, someone who had once before been EXCITED to fracture her thumb knowing she was getting pain pills (me). I knew* my husband needed them. I knew he had a legitimate reason to need them-but I felt* out of my mind. That* is addiction... That* is your brain fighting against the rational fibers of what is "normal". After addiction sets in, your brain under goes chemical changes. Your "Hedonic Set-Point" of happiness is altered and flipped the fuck upside down. You become addicted because you realize that the intense euphoria and happiness, that warm, fuzzy feeling in your stomach, the rush to your head...have all caused a peak beyond your "set point" of euphoria. You crave it, and you NEED it just to even function and feel "normal" If you don't use (drugs), your entire body shuts down and you become so sick (the flu times 500). So you continue to use and abuse anything to reach the level of "normal" (and beyond) in order to not feel like a depressed piece of shit. Rock bottom hits (whenever and however that is and may be, and some will never experience the same rock bottom) and you get clean, and your "hedonic set point" is reset and now, unrealistic. You soon realize you will never* feel that level of happiness again (sober). Social context, and psychological predispositions can trigger a response in your brain to want to achieve that chemical, unrealistic level- over and over again.

Recovering addicts face this day in and day out, and in this case, recovery** is a CHOICE. No one wakes up one day and says, "you know what? I'm going to steal from my family and act like a reckless fool and ruin my normalcy and fuck up my entire family (and my fuckin' credit score) Addicts can do bad things, but that doesn't make them bad people. They are the walking wounded. In the words of my favorite author, Charles Bukowski, "we don't even ask (for) happiness, just a little less pain." A close friend of mines addiction was so deep, she lost custody of her child and lost sight of everything she once loved. No one in their right mind* would EVER jeopardize the relationship and well being with their own flesh and blood. People who weren't addicted could never phatom this scenario, but addiction is* ugly. She passed away almost two years ago, leaving her daughter and family behind. Again, addiction can be so powerful and it trumps all things good. Addicts become selfish. Because they only care about themselves and their next fix. Unless they get the proper intervention, have kick ass insurance, and the will and reason deep down to stop, they won't. That's why in NA, they say some people's only way out of addiction, is jail, institutions, or death.

I feel embarrassed sometimes to admit any of this. Those who knew me in my active addiction phase, constantly said, "where* is Katelyn? Where* did she go? This is not* the Katelyn we know and loved..." Addicts have to first admit they are powerless over their addiction. Along with this, comes a mountain of shame, guilt, embarrassment, shame, and a total slap in the face of everything* they were covering up during their abuse. We have to essentially re-learn how to live life again. How to cope with underlying mental illness, how to cope with triggers, how to live day to day without their former best friend.

I wish deep down I wasn't this way. I wish deep down the muffled voice subtly nagging at my brain would stop. I wish i knew better. I don't feel this hardcore temptation anymore. In the beginning, everything felt "unfair" and life kept throwing punches at me and I struggled to handle them. I blamed others for my addiction and carried around SO much anger. One day, it clicked. No one forced me to do anything. Only I was to blame. I was responsible and accountable for what happened to me, and only I was responsible for changing my behavior. It was hard. Most of the time, it felt virtually impossible to stop. If any addict could take a magic pill to end the cycle and to start their lives over, I'm betting some- if not most, would. This blog isn't a debate on whether or not addiction is a choice. I could sit here and debate with anyone all day on this subject. This entry is merely pointing out a basic and yet complex struggle one can face years and years down the line during their recovery. I look back and feel accomplished. I overcame something not everyone has the privilege to escape from. Being clean, I was able to rediscover myself, reevaluate goals, mend relationships, and lead a meaningful life. I found my soul-mate and have two amazing babies. My hope for anyone struggling with addiction is to overcome. Take advantage of any and all local resources and dig deep down to find the desire to want to stop. It might take you more than one attempt to get clean. In NA, they mention over and over to never feel like relapse isn't possible and that it "won't happen" to you. Because it is possible. It can happen at any given moment, and there is always a chance of giving in to the demons you have worked so hard to manage and control. Make the concious choice to NOT give in to the monster, no matter how tempting it could be. You are loved. You are worthy.

"Just for today, my thoughts will be on my recovery, living and enjoying life without the use of drugs. Just for today, I will have faith in someone in NA who believes in me and wants to help me in my recovery. Just for today, I will have a program. I will try to follow it to the best of my ability. Just for today, I will be unafraid. My thoughts will be on my new association's- people who are not using and have found a new way of life. So as long as I follow that way, I will have nothing to fear." (Narcotics Anonymous, text)

Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA)

1-800-662-4357

NA (Narcotics Anonymous)- find NA meetings and local resources for recovery.

http://m.na.org/

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