#I used these lyrics cause I assumed they would use these but who knows
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What's my Problem? That's Easy, You.
Pairing: Haechan x reader
Description: There’s no one on this planet that you hate more than your roommate’s best friend, Haechan, and he hates you back just the same. Though, sharing a best friend meant you had to see him all the time. When giving into one impulse desire ends with the two of you making out, it quickly develops into a friends (or enemies) with benefits relationship that the two of you agree to keep quiet about. Surely nothing could go wrong, right?
Content warnings: swearing, insults, talk about sex, Haechan in skinny jeans, Haechan’s girlfriend (later ex) is really mean to him, lots of eye rolling and head shaking, sexual harassment from reader’s professor, death (not a main character but it affects Haechan), lots of making out…taking off shirts…etc, Haechan is hot and arrogant but kind of a loser when it comes to y/n (eventually), mention of a choking kink, corpse lyrics, they have sex but it’s closed-door/SFW, Haechan makes one really poor decision, angst with a happy ending. Please let me know if I’ve missed anything.
Word count: 21,108 :)
A/n: Happy Haechan day! This has been in the works for entirely too long, but I’m excited to finally release a longer fic rather than one shots. This was only written because I had to do something after seeing Haechan in the ISTJ dance practice video cause he’s never left my mind since. Shout out to @fullsunstrawberry for listening to me talk about this fic instead of me actually writing it. Hey bestie, *waves* it’s finally finished :) Please enjoy, or don’t…I can’t tell you what to do. As always, feedback would be GREATLY appreciated :)
You open the door to your apartment-style dorm room, and when you see a figure on the couch, you assume it’s your best friend and roommate, Jessica. The two of you met in a class last year and you were over the moon at the idea of rooming with her for the rest of university rather than the roommates you currently had at the time. However, instead of laying eyes on your best friend, it’s a guy you’ve never seen before, casually sprawled out on your couch. You jump in surprise and furrow your eyebrows as you address his presence. “Wha- who are you?!”
He moves his gaze from the TV up to where you were, still at the door. “Haechan…Jessica’s best friend? I’m sure she’s talked about me. Who are you?” He replies in a condescending tone, looking completely unenthused to be talking with you and, within seconds, you were beginning to feel much the same. You shake your head, annoyed.
“No, I’m the one who lives here so I’m asking the questions. What are you doing here? How did you get in?” You ask, though now just wondering how long it would be until he left.
He looks at you as though you were stupid, like talking to you was a waste of his time. Regardless, he gives you somewhat of an answer. “Are you dense? I’m hanging out with Jessica today. She let me in before she went back to go get ready.”
You freeze, anger coursing through your veins at the audacity of this guy. “I’m not dense. God, I hate people like you.” You spit back. Haechan raises his brows tauntingly.
“‘People like me’ as in?”
“Arrogant dickheads whose brain power is just used to keep track of how many beds they’ve been in.” You finish, rolling your eyes before moving to set down your backpack and grab what you actually came back to your dorm for - your purse. You miss the devilish smirk that Haechan bears on his face, but you don’t miss the cocky laugh that escapes his figure before he speaks up again as you cross the room.
“Strange, I don’t remember bringing up my sex life before this. It must be on your mind then, huh?” He replies seriously, getting you to pause again. You ball your hands into fists, taking a few steps so that you were back in each other’s line of sight before arguing with him some more.
“This is exactly what I’m talking about. You think everyone is thinking about sex with you. I hate to break it to you, but you’re not that attractive.” You say, more than glad when your last statement came out firm and serious…you typically weren’t good at lying.
Haechan lets out another laugh, stretching his arms up and bringing his hands together at the back of his head. “Yeah?” He questions lazily. “You’re not that hot yourself, sunshine.”
The nickname has your blood boiling. “Never call me that again. Besides, it doesn’t even make sense. You say I’m not hot and then call me sunshine. You know the sun is 15 million degrees Celsius, right?” You remark, but instead of making Haechan feel stupid, you seemingly gave him more ammunition.
“Oh,” he says as though he just figured out the answer to life. “So, you’re a nerd. I get it.” He adds, a stupid grin on his face.
You furrow your brows. “What?”
“You don’t get out much do you? Just spend all your time memorizing pointless facts and praying someone along the way finally has to find that attractive since you know you won’t pull a guy with your looks?”
You freeze, in a deadlocked stare with Haechan, both of your gazes filled with resentment. It wasn’t a pointless fact - you were an astronomy and physics double major, but saying that wouldn’t provide him with anything but more reason to call you a nerd, and the last thing you felt like doing was addressing the part about your looks. Instead, you shake your head, then motion to the purse you were now carrying rather than your backpack. “I’m going out right now, thank you very much. God. Tell Jessica to let me know whenever you’re going to be over. I’ll make sure to never be home for it. I don’t know how she can tolerate someone like you.” You spit out, turning to open the front door again.
“Right back at you.” Haechan replies, not letting up on his glare until the door’s completely closed again, then turning lazily back to the TV just as Jessica walks out from the bathroom.
“Were you on the phone? Who were you just talking to like that?” She questions, eyebrows raised, more than curious at the identity of who riled up Haechan like that.
Haechan shakes his head. “No, I wasn’t on the phone. Your roommate came in…and then left again.”
Jessica’s face drops from curiosity to disbelief. “You were arguing with y/n like that?!”
Haechan shrugs. “If that’s the name of your irritating roommate, then yeah.” Jessica rolls her eyes, doing the mental calculations of how long this semester was going to feel with her two best friends hating each other.
When you get back from bar and trivia night with your friends a few hours later, your living room couch is back to just being occupied by Jessica. You smile at her as you walk in and lock the door behind you, but her face when you turn back around is more grave than you think you’ve ever seen.
“We’re gonna have to talk about you and Hyuck.” She says seriously, causing your eyebrows to furrow.
“Who the hell is Hyuck?” You laugh, and Jess just rolls her eyes playfully, nodding her head to motion for you to sit down next to her on the couch.
She looks you in the eyes intently. “Haechan.” She says, and your playful demeanor drops in an instant. “His real name is Donghyuck- but that’s besides the point. Look, he’s been my best friend for more than half of my life. He’s had an extra key to wherever I’m living every year of college so far…”
“No.” You answer firmly, and Jessica sighs.
“Y/n, he’s not a bad guy-” She starts, but you shake your head.
“I don’t care if he’s bad, I care that he’s the most aggravating person I’ve ever met. I don’t want him to have a key to this place.”
Jessica raises her eyebrows. “Not even if it doubles as a safety mechanism having someone other than the two of us be able to get in here should we need help?”
Technically, that could come in handy, but you don’t care. “No.” You reply, trying your best to be dismissive of the topic, but it’s apparently really important to Jessica.
“Y/n…” She says softly, and you roll your eyes with a huff of breath.
“Fine, but he’s not allowed to just come over whenever he’s bored. You two need to have set plans for him to use his extra key.”
“Deal!” She says as she lights up, and you try to imagine yourself in her position - you’d probably want to keep the tradition of giving your best friend an extra key, too…though your other best friend wouldn’t be as annoying as Haechan. Regardless, you liked seeing Jessica happy, and if this was what it took, then so be it.
A week later, you and Jessica found yourselves sitting on the couch watching Bones, a typical after-homework routine. It became disgustingly less typical when your attention was turned to the sound of a key unlocking the door to your dorm. You hide your groan but nothing stops your eye roll as soon as you see Haechan. His gaze passes right over you as he greets Jessica, apparently his goal today was just to pretend you didn’t exist. You couldn’t be too peeved - the last thing you wanted to do was talk to him. However, you could be mad because you don’t remember Jessica saying anything about having plans with him today, and you watch as your one guideline for him having an extra key slips down the drain.
Jessica doesn’t think anything of it, of course she wouldn’t, he’s one of her best friends. “Hey Hyuck, we’re watching Bones if you want to join.” She says neutrally. Somewhere along the line, Haechan must have figured out you weren’t just a demon in one of his nightmares, because you had the pleasure of being the subject of his reply.
“Not if she’s still going to be here, too.” He says sternly, causing you to scoff.
“I was here first, you dick.”
At your side, Jessica sighs, seeming to know exactly where this was going as Haechan’s eyes light with fire. “Okay idiot, and I was her friend first.” He spits back, making you clench your jaw…and a fist. A multitude of insults could be thrown your way and you would’ve brushed it off, but ‘idiot?’ That gets under your skin every time. Though, because you were Jessica’s best friend, she knew that, and immediately jumped to calm you down.
“Okay…” She says, gently grabbing you by the shoulders and settling you back down into the couch. “Y/n, you are not an idiot, I promise. And Hyuck…” she continues, moving her flat gaze over to him. “You’re not a dick - though you make it very hard to defend you sometimes.” As Jessica finished, her gaze flicked back and forth between you and Haechan. The two of you shot your gaze off towards completely different walls of the dorm, refusing to look at the other even in the slightest. Jessica waited five seconds for either of you to say anything, but when that didn’t happen, she spoke up again.
“You guys are insufferable.” She begins with a sigh. “You know it’s my birthday this weekend. I was looking forward to being able to spend it with my best friends…all of them.” Her words are soft and you know she’s serious. Your shoulders drop.
“Where are you going with this?” You ask, immediately shutting your eyes in preparation for the answer you knew you wouldn’t want to face.
“Is it even in the realm of possibility for the two of you to get along for just one night? One dinner?” Jessica asks hopefully. You and Haechan finally whip your heads around to face Jessica, a matching look of terror on both of your faces.
“No.”
“Absolutely not.” You respond at the same time.
Jessica rolls her eyes, and you hate it because it meant your responses actually put her in a sour mood…and all you ever wanted as her best friend was for her to be happy. The horrible news is that she knew this, and used it to her advantage against the both of you. “If I put you on opposite sides of the table, could you at least be civil? For me.” She adds, the cherry on top of her already disheartened tone.
You and Haechan take one small glance at each other, enough to reach the same conclusion before you both respond. “Fine.” A smirk reaches Jessica’s face and you shake your head, getting up from the couch to instead find solace in your bedroom, letting Haechan take your spot without another word.
In what you thought was too little time, it was already the evening of Jessica’s birthday dinner. The dress code was fancier than you were used to, but all you had time for was one sigh at yourself in the mirror before Jessica was rushing you out the door. The two of you getting in the car must have been the trigger for her to start going over the game plan again, because the first thing she said as she pulled out of the parking lot of your dorm was, “there’s going to be thirteen of us there tonight. You and Haechan won’t be anywhere near each other, but even so, please just try and not hate him an overwhelming amount tonight.”
You drop your head to face your lap with a laugh. “Don’t worry. You know me, you know the last thing on my mind is ruining your birthday. I’ll be good.”
Her light laugh and nod in response let you know she believed you, and as she pulled to a stop light she looked your way for a moment. “You look gorgeous, by the way.”
You roll your eyes but it doesn’t stop the smile from spreading across your face. “Look who’s talking.” You say seriously. Your best friend was always gorgeous, but times like these it was hard to do anything but stare. Jessica shakes her head.
“Well, you know. ‘Dress to impress’ and all that.” She replies, and you whip your head towards her, your words coming out as though you were frightened.
“Who are you trying to impress? Please don’t tell me it’s Haechan. Oh my God. No. I can stand the two of you being friends but you cannot date him or I might die.”
At this, Jessica rolls her eyes, taking time to laugh rather than save you from your worst nightmare. “Y/n, how many times have I talked to you about guys in a romantic sense? Has any of it ever been about Haechan? No.” She answers for you. “It’s always been about…” This time she drags off and leaves you to fill in the blanks yourself. You finally get over the horror that could have faced you and your mind clears, causing you to light up.
“Mark! Wait, Mark is coming?!” You ask excitedly, making her laugh some more.
“Yes, Mark is coming. We are really good friends, after all. I’m just thinking if he sees me all dressed up, he’ll finally realize he has to ask me on a date sooner than later or someone else will. I’m getting tired of waiting for his dorky ass.” She replies, and you raise your eyebrows - you know she would wait forever for Mark, not that she necessarily should, but she would.
The two of you arrive at the restaurant to find out you were the first ones there for the party and start on checking in for the reservation. Then, as you both turn around from the host stand, you’re greeted with Mark and Haechan walking in together. You’re sure Mark looked great, but you would be lying if you said you even took one look at him. Instead, all of your attention was on Haechan, his white button-up tightly hugging his body, the look complete with rolled-up sleeves. You did your best not to stare, but it wouldn’t have mattered anyways, he wasn’t paying any attention to you. Instead, he was now entirely engrossed in conversation with Mark and Jessica. You don’t even know if he knew you were here, and in that moment you realized tonight was going to prove a lot harder than you originally thought, because you hated Haechan an overwhelming amount.
Thankfully, the rest of the party arrived soon after and you were all quickly seated, Jessica in the middle with you and Haechan at complete opposite ends as promised. Instead, you got to sit and talk with Winter and Jisung. Overall, you really couldn’t complain. Winter was one of the first friends you made on campus. On the other hand, you and Jisung had been partnered for a project one semester that saw the two of you sharing way too many 2:00 am coffees as you tried to squeeze the semester project into the span of two weeks - your friendship with Jisung feels more so like the result of trauma bonding, but you wouldn’t have traded it for the world.
That being said, dinner went pretty smoothly. After eating your main course, you excused yourself to use the bathroom, but you didn’t even make it ten steps before you realized you were being trailed. As you step into the hallway where the doors to the restrooms were, you turn around to face Haechan. “Really? You couldn’t wait until I was back at the table?” You ask plainly. Haechan furrows his brows.
“I didn’t plan this. I didn’t even realize you had gotten up from the table. I wasn’t paying any attention to you.” He remarks, and you roll your eyes.
“Right, all you ever do is pretend I don’t exist. How could I forget?” You say sarcastically.
Haechan scoffs, shaking his head. “Well, all you do is hate me for existing, so I feel like it’s a pretty even balance. Besides, every time I acknowledge your existence, it ends up like this.”
You pause for a moment, glaring at Haechan. Was it truly easier to pretend you didn’t exist rather than deal with the fact that you do. “I hate you.” You finally say. Haechan feigns surprise, moving a hand over his heart as if he’s just been shot. Though, his face neutralizes in an instant.
“I hate you, too. Can we get on with why we’re actually here now?” He asks, nodding his head towards the men’s room as he looks towards you with disinterest. You clench your jaw, not bothering to give him a verbal response as you walk into the ladies room, where you finally let yourself breathe again.
The rest of the dinner party went by quickly, and suddenly it was just you and Jessica back in her car. “Well, that went really well!” She said, beaming. You could hardly match the enthusiasm, though.
“Yeah…”
She chanced a look over at you, eyebrows furrowed. “Did it not go really well?”
“It was fine.” You reply softly, shaking your head. You didn’t want to ruin the night now after appearing to have successfully made it through dinner.
“You two weren’t even around each other.” She says, her underlying tone letting you know how confused she was.
“We ran into each other by the bathrooms.” You say, shrugging in your seat.
Jessica grimaces. “Didn’t go well, I’m guessing.”
You let out a heavy, defeated sigh. “I don’t understand what his problem is.”
“He doesn’t have a problem.” Jessica replies with a light laugh, and you shoot your gaze over to her in question.
“Really? So, he’s just always a dick?” You ask, trying your best to keep your tone light while also letting her know that, if that’s normal Haechan, you were harshly judging her choice of friends.
Jessica smiles, a small laugh coming out that’s more so just an exhale. “No…but maybe the issue is just the fact that you hate him. Maybe if you were a little nicer to him, he would calm down, too.” She says, doing her best to be convincing, but you just shake your head.
“I don’t want to be nice to him. Not ever.” You say firmly, and surprising you, Jessica just shrugs lightly.
“Well, I tried.”
You frown, looking over at her in the driver’s seat. “Sorry…it was a really fun birthday party, though.” You say, hoping she knew that Haechan didn’t ruin your day and praying that in turn, you didn’t ruin hers.
There seemed to be no reason to worry, though, because at the mention of the actual dinner party, Jessica lit back up. “Oh, you don’t need to tell me. I had a blast, and you and Haechan took care of all your fighting off-screen. Doesn’t bother me any.” She replies with a laugh, getting you to lighten up, too. Creating cause for excitement in itself, conversation for the rest of the drive back had nothing to do with Haechan. Instead, you learned that Mark did, in fact, figure out that his window of opportunity was closing and now he and Jessica have an official date tomorrow. In other words, the two of you squealed the rest of the way home.
It was close to a week later when you next saw Haechan again. It took Mark and Jessica one date to realize that they wanted to make things official, so you ended up seeing Mark around much more often than Haechan for a little bit. Though on Friday, the familiar turn of the key in the door was heard while you and Jessica were watching Bones in the living room, and you knew your mortal enemy was making his comeback after six days.
Jessica paused the TV and you immediately got up from the couch, bringing your empty bowl of ramen to the kitchen so you could start on cleaning it. Then, Haechan finally made his way through the front door. You don’t bother looking up to greet his presence, he never did for you anyways. However, in an instant, Jessica was off the couch and grabbed Haechan by the wrist, stopping him from sitting down.
“You look like you’ve been crying.” She says as Haechan turns to look at her.
He shakes his head solemnly. “No, I’m fine. They just wanted me to try a new brand of contacts since my other ones got discontinued, but these irritate my eyes. I just haven’t had the chance to go back and switch brands again, and I’m not really in the mood to pay for more contacts and waste all the money I just spent on these.”
“Take them out.” She replies instantly, and Haechan lets out something of a forced laugh.
“Well that’s the thing, these are weekly contacts, and I don’t have a case or solution with me to store them…and I don’t want to buy all that just for me to possibly switch back to daily contacts again soon.”
Jessica lets his wrist drop, seemingly understanding. From the kitchen, you shake your head, not remembering when you became so invested in the first place. In an instant, you finish with your bowl and head to your room without a word.
You lasted in your bedroom doing homework for about an hour, which, everything considered, you thought was pretty good, but then you couldn’t stand the constant noise anymore from the other side of your bedroom wall. You threw all of your things into your backpack, getting up and storming out of the room.
“Agh! I hate his guts! I’m going to the library.” You proclaim loudly as you step back out towards the living room.
On the couch, Haechan looks over at Jessica. “She talks about me a lot, doesn’t she? I didn’t even do anything this time.” He says with a laugh, but you just glare at him.
“Grow up, not everything is about you.” You spit out before heading towards the door.
Jessica waits for you to be completely gone before she ever answers Haechan. “Ha, she’s actually talking about our neighbor on the right. Their bedrooms share a wall and he has an unrivaled sex drive. I think she was traumatized the first time she heard…it. Though now, it’s just extra noise and it irritates the hell out of her when she’s trying to study.” Haechan’s jaw drops in surprise, the corners of his mouth wavering as he tries not to laugh. Jessica shakes her head, a smile coming onto her face. “It’s a little bit funny.” She says, getting Haechan to finally break into a smile too before continuing their conversation from before you left. Though, with it being a Friday, it wasn’t too much longer before they themselves were out of the house, though their destination was the bar instead of the library.
The next few nights came and went, until suddenly it was Tuesday again, when Haechan and Jess typically grabbed dinner together. You were doing homework at the coffee table, figuring a change in scenery would help you focus - that and the fact that your neighbor on the right was having another fun night. Jessica was still getting ready in her room when Haechan walked in through the front door. From the couch, you move your gaze towards him, figuring out he’s been holding out on you when it comes to his clothes. Today, he showed up in a black t-shirt, totally normal and fine, though said shirt was tucked into blue skinny jeans, not totally normal nor fine.
“You’re staring.” Haechan says, bringing you back to real life. You shake your head, finally meeting his disinterested eyes.
“You don’t need to wear skinny jeans ever again.” You say flatly, and Haechan just scoffs before letting a smirk cross his face.
“My girlfriend wouldn’t take kindly to you telling me what to do.” He replies, and the news of a girlfriend only shocks you for a second before you snap back.
“Girlfriend? Wow, maybe you’ll get less annoying now that you’ve found someone willing to suck your dick.” You say, your face lighting up, although your tone conveyed how little hope you actually had in that happening.
Haechan narrows his eyes at you, his smirk turning evil. “Oh, I have a long, distinguished list of willing volunteers. Have you found anyone willing to suck yours yet?”
“Very funny.” You reply monotonously. Haechan just rolls his eyes, about hitting his limit of words spoken to you for the day.
“Where’s Jess?” He asks, his typical disinterest when it comes to you now back in his tone. You shake your head before nodding it in the direction of her room, not wanting to bother with actually talking to him anymore, either.
The next week, a casual Thursday night that you and Jessica thought you had to yourselves was disrupted with a soft knock on the door, and Jessica moved from the couch to open it, promptly stepping back to let Haechan inside, and you hate the fact that his loophole to not using his front door key unless he actually had plans with Jessica was just to knock instead. He walks in normally, but Jessica grabs his forearm with raised eyebrows. “Why aren’t you wearing your glasses?” She asks, considering the conversation from a little over a week ago.
You watch from the couch as Haechan visibly gulps, dropping his head to try and cover up his saddened expression. “...she doesn’t like when I wear them.” He states, and immediately you and Jessica both know he’s talking about his girlfriend. Despite never meeting her, you hated her guts. Ever since she got with Haechan, all she’s done is be toxic. You know so, because Haechan ends up at your dorm basically every night seeking comfort from Jessica after his girlfriend spends their dates degrading him the entire time.
You immediately pop up from the couch and storm to your room, slamming the door behind you, though that was more so accidental. How Haechan’s girlfriend treated him was none of your business, and not worth you getting worked up over, but his constant need to decompress in Jessica’s presence meant you had to see him a lot more than you would have ever liked, and that’s where you started having problems. If his girlfriend was actually nice and cared about him, you probably would have never had to see him again because he’d be spending so much time with her…it was your luck that the opposite happened.
Almost two weeks passed of seeing Haechan every single day, and you started just strictly staying in your room any time past 5:00 to try and avoid seeing him completely. Though, when the next Tuesday rolled around, you were the one to open the door in response to the firm knocks. You knew Haechan and Jess were going out to grab dinner tonight, it was a weekly thing, so you didn’t understand why he couldn’t just use his key. In an odd turn of events, the first thing Haechan says as he steps through the door frame is ‘thank you.’ You stand there in shock, and he takes it as a sign that he needed to elaborate. “Sorry, I didn’t come from my house so I don’t have my extra key to this place.” He explains, but now you’re hardly listening to his words. Instead, taking the proximity provided by neither of you leaving the doorway to study his face with a frown.
“Are you wearing makeup?” You question with furrowed brows. Surprising you, Haechan ducked his head, and his voice was weaker than you’ve ever heard as he responded.
“She said I have too many flaws on my skin right now and it was embarrassing her.” Your eyes widen. His girlfriend. His girlfriend, the reason he’s stopped wearing glasses and apparently the reason he has foundation and concealer covering his face right now. Your jaw clenches involuntarily. This is where you draw the line.
“Fuck that.” You spit out, grabbing Haechan’s wrist and dragging him to the bathroom with you.
He glances towards your physical contact before looking back up at you with scrunched eyebrows. “Y/n, what are you doing?” He asks as you place tons of different items on the counter.
“Taking off your makeup.” You reply sternly, and his eyes go wide.
“No, you can’t. Please.” He begs, and your heart chips a little. Your hand freezes above the water tap, sighing deeply in place of turning on the sink.
“Did you want to put it on or did she make you?” You ask softly, and Haechan’s face drops once again.
“She made me...” He replies in defeat, and you immediately turn the water on, much to his dismay. “You can’t take it off! I’m seeing her again tonight for something at her sorority!” His plea falls on deaf ears as you let the water warm up and start rubbing cleanser onto his face. You finally finish with your typical skin care routine for him, taking a step away to hang the washcloth to dry and start on putting your products away.
“If you want to wear makeup, that’s fine. But don’t ever come over here in makeup she’s made you put on again, or I’ll give you a reason to need concealer.” You say offhandedly as you finish and walk out of the bathroom with Haechan in toe.
“Did you just threaten to punch me?” He asks, a scoff accompanying it.
“Of course I did. I despise you. You’re an annoying prick, but I don’t need you feeling bad about yourself for any reason other than that…especially for something like this.”
Haechan stares at you bewildered, trying to figure out if your words just meant what he thinks they did. “Y/n-”
“Have fun getting dinner with Jessica.” You cut him off, not giving his curiosity the satisfaction of an explanation. “Don’t worry about your girlfriend after…she won’t even notice. I gotta go do homework. Jess should be ready in a minute or so.” Then you were behind your closed bedroom door, fists clenched at your sides as you let anger run through your body. It wasn’t long before you heard Jessica come out of her room and start up a conversation with Haechan, and that was when you finally let yourself relax a little.
Haechan was the one to start intentionally avoiding you after that. You figure you probably crossed a line that enemies don’t, but you don’t regret it. You and Haechan weren’t friends anyways, so it’s not like him now avoiding you really changed anything - it just made your own efforts to avoid him even easier.
So, about a month passed of you and Haechan avoiding each other, and when that wasn’t an option, sending each other nasty glares and rude remarks. You tried not to start anything, seeing as his girlfriend was doing enough damage to his mental health in the first place, but you still couldn’t back down and let him win if he started anything. Nevertheless, it was your birthday today and you were determined to make it as great as it could be, starting with not having Haechan anywhere near your thoughts. Instead, you were more focused on the three classes you had today, almost all of your brain power going towards making up scenarios for how your conversation with your last professor would go.
As always, Dr. Choi never let your class out early, and you’re thankful you didn’t have a class following this or you would never get the time to ask him questions after. From your seat in the middle of the lecture hall, you made your way down to where his desk was set up, completely going against traffic as the rest of the students rushed towards the exits. As your footsteps grew closer to him, he looked up from his desk, a smile flashing across his face.
“Ah, y/n. You look…” He starts, and you freeze as you withstand his eyeing you up and down. You should’ve known better than to imagine a case where this conversation went any differently. Dr. Choi habitually let his gaze linger on you too long, even if you were in a big t-shirt and jeans, but now here you were dressed up for your birthday. “Are you here to ask for extra credit?” He continues, and you slightly cringe in disgust. You were too used to it to have a bigger reaction, and you knew that if you didn’t play it cool, he would be uncooperative anyways.
Instead, you just shake your head lightly as if nothing was out of the ordinary. “No, I was wondering if you could open up the exam again so I can see which questions I got wrong.” You reply seriously. You got a 96 on the exam in question, and you’re sure no one who gets a 96 on a quantum mechanics exam ever takes the time to care about those 4 lost points…but it almost bothered you more than if you failed. You weren’t unprepared - all that a 96 shows is that there’s something you genuinely did not know, and not being able to look at the answers after grades were posted wasn’t helping you figure out what that was.
Dr. Choi’s reply is fast, monotone…deliberate. “Depends on if you open up your legs.”
“Dr.-” You start flatly, but he’s quick to cut you off as his eyes light with fire.
“Into roleplay, are you?” He asks with a smirk, and if you were any less used to his behavior, you would have thrown up. Instead, you roll your eyes.
“No, Dr. Choi. You have a doctorate, so I’m being respectful. Is there any use in getting you to let me see the exam again?” You ask, staring him dead in the eye. His face loses its passion as he turns stoic, though maybe you could sense his disappointment in your dismissal.
“I told you my requirements.” He says somberly, and you just nod your head.
“Great. Thank you for your time.” You reply. Your walk out of class is natural in manner, but immediately once you get outside, your shoulders fall as you drop your head into your hands. You stand like that for only a moment to regain your composure, and then start up on your walk to your dorm. You had to get over it quickly and act like nothing was wrong. You still haven’t told Jessica about this professor. He was one of the heads of the physics department, so you’ve had to deal with him all the way up to now, and you’d have to deal with him after this course. You didn’t want Jessica to get all angry if there wasn’t anything you could do about it. So instead, you place a light smile back on your face and let yourself relax, knowing the rest of your birthday consists solely of time with your best friend - no vile professors, and no Haechan.
Another week goes by without a hitch, and so on Friday, you had spent most of the evening on the couch watching Bones. You had no homework and Jessica was out on a date with Mark for the night, not planning to get back until after 11:00. So, you figured you would occupy the living room rather than be huddled inside your bedroom hiding from Haechan if he had no reason to come over anyways. Though, it was only a little after 6:00 when the door to your dorm began to open, and you instinctively roll your eyes, knowing the only person it could be. “Jessica isn’t here, and frankly I’m gonna have to talk to her about you having an extra key-” You start as he opens the door, but then you finally see the state he’s in and worry begins to overtake your annoyance. “Haechan?!” You question, his tear-stained face a completely new sight to you.
His gaze has yet to be picked up off the floor, as he stands in complete defeat, his body shaking with sobs. “I’m sorry. I didn’t know if she would be here or not, and I couldn’t take the time to text and ask.”
You’re immediately up off the couch, though you’re still frozen in your spot a few feet away from him. “You’re scaring me. What’s wrong?” You ask, trying to make your voice sound calmer than you felt in an attempt to get at least some control of the situation.
Haechan shakes his head. “No, you’re right. I shouldn’t have barged in. I shouldn’t be here.” He states, turning around to walk right back out of the door. He’s stopped though, by your firm tone.
“Lee Donghyuck, what is wrong?” This time, your question comes out more as a demand, and it’s enough to make Haechan freeze in his spot, dropping his hand that was reaching for the door knob.
“My dad got in a car accident. He didn’t even make it through the ambulance ride.” He says, his words cut up by his cries. Your world stops, and you just stare at him. You were already really bad at comforting people, and this was the last thing you were expecting to hear, not to mention the last person you expected to be confiding in you.
“Hyuck…” You begin, but all you can do is fumble for words you know won’t come. Haechan gives you the pleasure of cutting you off.
“I didn’t know where else to go.” He replies, now fully crying again as he brings his hands up to cover his face. His sobs only silence for a second as he registers your touch. He brings his hands down to actually get visual confirmation that you were hugging him. You were standing in your living room and hugging your worst enemy, but you couldn’t just do nothing anymore. Your face pressed into his chest, you mumble out the best response you can muster.
“Here is just fine. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, and I’m sorry Jessica isn’t home to be the one to comfort you. I’m sorry it’s me, instead. I know you probably have other friends but…I’m watching Bones if you want to join. We can watch, like, an entire season if you want, and I’ll order your favorite food. If you want. I just- don’t really want you alone right now, and I’m scared that if I kick you out, you won’t ever find your way back out of your bedroom.”
At your words, Haechan seems to settle a bit more into the hug, using one sleeve of his hoodie to dry up his tears before replying. “Bones sounds good. What season are you on?”
You pick your head back out of his chest, staring up at him with a weak smile, hoping it conveyed just how grateful you were that he accepted your offer. “Just started season four. Come on.”
You let go from the hug and motion for Haechan to find a place on the couch while you headed for the kitchen. While Haechan had been over more than you would have ever liked, your constant avoidance of him meant you had no clue what he actually liked. Instead, you stared at the open pantry with a frown before deciding to just grab all of your favorite snacks to share in hopes that he, too, enjoyed at least one of them.
You place them all down on the coffee table in front of the couch, but suddenly you feel too awkward to say anything. So, you just make hesitant eye contact with Haechan for a second or two before he breaks away to actually look at everything you brought over. Though, because you’re still staring, you manage to catch the faint “thank you” that left his lips as he reached for a bag of chips. Despite yourself, the corners of your mouth perk up in a soft smile as you finally move to sit down next to him on the couch…a few feet away, but next to him.
It would have been completely quiet had the show not been on. Apparently you and Haechan were still really bad at being even acquaintances. Though, with the introduction of a new character, you quickly found your in.
“God, she’s had like, two minutes of screen time and I already hate Agent Perotta.” You say with a slight laugh, trying not to let it show how nervous you were to talk to him. Instead of glaring at you or pretending your input was the last thing he needed, though, he nodded a bit, smiling.
“Thank God you said it, because I hate her, too, but as a man I feel like saying it out of the blue would be distasteful.” He replies, and before you could stop it, you let out a heavy exhale of laughter. Immediately, your hand reaches up to cover your face, but Haechan had already whipped his head towards you. “Did you just find me funny?” He questions, the smile on his face growing.
You quickly shake your head, though your face wears a matching smile. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. This conversation is about Agent Perotta.” You say, looking back at the TV.
Haechan flashes his eyebrows up for a moment before redirecting his attention back to the show as well. “Yeah, I hate that bitch.” He says flatly, getting you to nod.
“I think this is the first thing we’ve ever agreed on.” You say, letting the shock factor show in your voice.
Haechan shakes his head, smiling in disbelief. “Should’ve known it was going to be about hating someone. Pretty sure you hate everyone except Jessica. I mean, what are we at now?” He teases, beginning to count them off on his fingers. “Me, Agent Perotta, your neighbor on the right, your professor who makes sexual comments about you…”
Immediately you jump up from the couch, staring at him with the widest of eyes. “WHAT?! How do you know about that?”
You watch as Haechan just shakes his head quickly, as if his previous statement would erase like an etch-a-sketch. “Oh, sorry. He’s on my list of people I hate. Mixed them up.” He replies like it’s nothing, and you don’t know how he’s being so nonchalant about this.
“Hyuck, we don’t share that class, how do you know about that professor? I haven’t even told Jessica.” You ask again, the panic beginning to seep through your words some more. You didn’t know how he knew, you didn’t know if he was going to tell Jessica, you didn’t know if it would change the way he viewed you, you didn’t know why Haechan’s view of you mattered because it was already shit anyways…all of it made you anxious.
Haechan hangs his head back, staring up at you from where he still sat lazily on the couch. “Please don’t worry about it. Forget I said anything.” He responds, his orders strict but his voice calm. You just shake your head once more.
“Hyuck-” You start, but this time he rolls his eyes, finally getting fed up with the conversation.
“I just wanna watch Bones! Can we make this day about me again? Hello, I’m sad and in need of a light-hearted distraction in the form of crime-solving.” He says, his volume already much louder than it just previously was. Typically, his whining would just make you want to punch him, but he was right, at least a little bit. He was the one with the bigger stressor, and while it wasn’t a competition in the first place, you did want this to be a comforting time for him, not one where you grilled him over his knowledge of your personal life.
“Agh, you’re so difficult!” You shout back, though placing yourself down on the couch again anyways.
Haechan flashes a quick smile in response. “Great! You hate me, we hate Agent Perotta, we’re back on track. Press play.” He says, moving his arms out towards the TV in a showy fashion that you hated. Though, with Agent Perotta back on screen, it did bring up another truth.
“...I hate you less than I hate her.” You say quietly, but with your focus back on Bones, you miss Haechan’s smartass smirk falling into something softer in response. Then, Bones is the only sound to fill the dorm again.
A few hours and entirely too much takeout later, the front door opens again as Jessica walks through.
“Hey y/n, I’m home-” She starts, locking the door, but then she finally turns around to the living room and her jaw drops. “Hyuck?!”
“Hey!” You reply as though nothing were amiss. Jessica looks back and forth between you and Haechan more times than you could count, her eyebrows furrowed.
“You two are hanging out??” She questions, and Haechan just shrugs.
“I had a bad day. Needed some comfort.” He replies neutrally, but Jessica’s eyes just grow wider.
“So you decided to hang out with y/n? Who you typically can’t stand to be in a room with for more than 0.5 seconds.”
You shake your head with a small laugh. “Jessica, he came over to see if you were here.” You say, stating the obvious. It doesn’t help Jessica’s shock.
“But when he saw it was just you, he stayed?” She asks, and you’re pretty sure you saw the mania start to set in behind her eyes.
“We’ve been watching Bones.” Haechan says with a smile.
Jessica shakes her head in disbelief. “And neither of you find this strange?”
“We hate Agent Perotta.” You reply with a smirk, and suddenly a wave of clarity washes over Jessica.
“Ah, common ground. Makes more sense.” She says calmly as she starts making her way to the couch as well. “Well, mind if I join-” She starts, but then Haechan’s phone begins to ring and he’s up off the couch in an instant.
“My mom is calling. I have to go.” He says, and the sadness and worry that you had managed to kill over the past few hours reappears in his voice in no time.
“Hyuck?” Jessica questions, but he just shakes his head in dismissal.
“I have to go.” He restates, and then makes his way to the door. You watch from the couch as he starts to leave, probably to go drive to meet his mom - this late at night…driving. Panic erupts in your system.
“Haechan,” you cry out, scrambling off the couch. He whips his body back around to face you rather than the door. Without thinking, you wrap Haechan in a hug, speaking softly into his shoulder. “Be safe, okay?”
Haechan lets out a small sigh, knowing exactly where your mind was at. Gently, he places his arms around you, as well. “I hate you less than I hate her, too.” He says softly in place of replying to your last statement. You freeze in his arms and he’s the first to let go, his phone beginning to ring again and reminding the both of you he had somewhere to be. He’s quickly out the front door, leaving you to just turn back around towards Jessica on the couch.
“What was that?” She asks, completely confused again. You just shake your head.
“It’s really not for me to tell you. Haechan just…got really bad news today. But you’re his actual best friend, he’ll tell you as soon as he can, I’m sure. Then you can take over my role and do a much better job at comforting him or so help me God.” You reply, a small laugh accompanying the end of your sentence before you continue. “I’m gonna go get ready for bed, if you don’t mind. I hope your date with Mark went really well.” Jessica just nods from the couch, a little dumbfounded by your behavior if you had to guess, but you couldn’t bring yourself to explain any further.
Within the following week, Haechan had told Jessica about his dad. However, he also told her another piece of news, which Jessica immediately relayed to you once she got back from hanging out with him.
“Hey, just thought I would let you know that Haechan and his girlfriend broke up.” She says after entering your dorm. You look up at her from the kitchen table, eyes wide.
“What?!” You question with more emotion than you could have imagined, but with the situation with his dad, was this really when she had to break it off and hurt him further. Jessica doesn’t answer your question, probably because it was incredibly vague. Instead, she moves on to her actual point of telling you.
“So, he might be over even more often than before.” She says carefully, trying to gauge how pissed you were gonna be at that piece of news. You just shake your head.
“Did he say why they broke up?” You don’t know why you asked, you didn’t care, but Jessica didn’t seem to think any of it was out of the ordinary.
“No, but he’s pretty torn up about it, which sucks because we both know how horrible she was to him.” Right, regardless of what horrible timing this was because of his already sad state, his girlfriend, or ex, probably wasn’t helping anyways while they were together. You figure Haechan dodged a bullet with the relationship ending sooner rather than later. You nod in response, speaking through a sigh as the past memories and stories about his ex replayed in your mind.
“Yeah…”
Jessica seems to be doing the same, but she shakes out of it quicker than you. “I think I’m gonna take him out to the bars next weekend or something. I don’t have a lot of free time right now, but I figure he could use a night out.” She says neutrally, and you nod, letting her know you probably couldn’t come up with a better idea.
“Yeah.”
Then two weeks later, you were telling Jessica to be safe as she left for the bars with Haechan. She extended the invite, but you figured Haechan probably had enough of you trying to support and comfort him, so you just told her that you’d stay home and to call if they needed a ride back. At one in the morning, that call came, but it was from Haechan rather than Jessica, and as you pick up, you forget the entire reason they went out tonight, your mind running on autopilot once you see his name light up your phone screen.
“What do you want?” You ask, your disgust at his call hardly hidden in your voice. You immediately feel bad though when he responds and his tone is much gentler than the one you used for him.
“Hey, Jess was the one who apparently needed to unwind tonight, so I let her do all the drinking at the bar…too much, apparently. I was gonna drive her back to your place but she was concerned about ruining whatever image she thinks you have of her in your head, so instead of her getting sick at your place, I let her get sick at mine. She just got in the shower, but I gotta be honest, now that I’m home, I’m pretty exhausted. Do you think you could come grab her?” He asks, and for a moment, you smile softly. You could tell Jessica had been stressed the past few weeks, truly probably needing the night out more than Haechan, and it was comforting knowing that he didn’t drink so that he could look out for her at the bar and back home.
You nod your head before realizing he couldn’t see it, and then you speak up, much softer than before. “Yeah, I’ll be there soon. Send me your address.” You say, then hanging up and grabbing your things to head his way.
Haechan opens the door in response to your knocking, the familiar bored expression back on his face. “You got here quicker than I thought you would…Jessica is still in the shower.” He states, as though your early presence was a huge inconvenience. You don’t pay attention to his tone, though. Your mind focuses on his clothes as you unintentionally scan his body up and down.
“Skinny jeans, huh?” You question with a straight face, meeting his eyes again as he smirks down at you.
“Well, I knew there was a high probability I’d see you tonight so I thought it would be fun to torment you-” You don’t know what came over you, but surely it wasn’t your fault. You told him not to wear skinny jeans ever again, and he did so just to spite you. Somehow, it all made him really hot, and you find yourself cutting off his words as you press your lips to his. You pull away quickly, shock covering both your faces as you simply stare at each other, eyes wide and breath heavy as you process what you just did.
You swallow hard, trying to remedy your suddenly dry throat. Your courage to look him in the eyes diminishes within milliseconds, and you drop your face towards the floor, which seemed to irritate Haechan to no end because as soon as your gaze met the floor, he walked the one step back over to you, grabbing your jaw to the point where it almost hurt and forcing you to look his way again. Then he kissed you harshly, and you fell right in line.
There was no romance in the kiss. Instead, something like lust had your tongues fighting for dominance with each other as your hands tried to memorize every part of Haechan’s body. The two of you moved with intensity, stumbling around the room because you couldn’t possibly stay still with the amount of passion embedded in this kiss. The first time you remember breaking away wasn’t so you could take a breath. You were fine never needing oxygen again. Instead you broke away to pull his shirt up over his head, discarding it to the side without much care. You immediately press your lips back onto his, but he’s quick to pull back this time, looking at you with a shake of his head as his eyes move back and forth between your two bodies.
“No fair!” He complains, causing you to roll your eyes before removing your own shirt to reveal your black lace bra because the universe was apparently on your side when you got dressed today. You watch his adam’s apple bob up and down as he takes you in, a heavy sigh escaping his lips. “No fair…” He whispers before rushing to close the distance between you two again, but this time, his lips don’t land on yours. Instead, they find your chest as his hands squeeze at your waist. You throw your head back in response, giving Haechan the ability to leave a trail of kisses from your chest up your neck, stopping in the middle to nip at somewhere near your collarbone before his continued exploration, and you thank God that Jessica has the shower running to cover up the moan it produced from you. He kisses up your neck and jaw before eventually finding his way to your lips again, and you waste no time getting your tongue back in his mouth. Before you know it, he’s picking you up, just to throw you right back down on the couch. Your eyes open in surprise, but then the sight of him on top of you has you unable to function. For some godforsaken reason, he’s able to read you completely, chuckling as he looks at your breathless expression.
The sound of his laugh gets you to break out of it, and you rush to connect your lips with his again. Your hands trace up and down his bare back, your nails sending goosebumps to his entire body as they claw at certain spots. Your hands get caught in his belt loops, causing a smile to cover your face and impeding your ability to kiss him, but you couldn’t help finding humor in the fact that his skinny jeans caused all of this. You shake your head, pulling away from the kiss for a moment and making Haechan pout before he moves to suck on your neck again.
“God, you have such a slutty waist for no reason.” You spit out in feigned anger, hands resuming their roaming over his figure. Haechan pops up so his eyes could meet yours. A playful smirk on his face covering up the split second glance you got of him looking ready to devour you.
“You love my slutty waist.” He responds confidently, and while you would love to prove him wrong, you can’t bring yourself to. So, you open and close your mouth, fighting for words that would never come out, and for a moment, Haechan looks down at you with something resembling fondness written over his features, though you were positive you were making that up. He shakes his head softly with a smile before leaning back down to kiss you, and once his lips were on yours, his entire demeanor was coated with a certain roughness and desire again that had you weak.
The only thing that pulled the two of you out of your bubble was the sound of the shower turning off, and suddenly your background noise was gone, making everything feel more real. Haechan broke out of the kiss with wide eyes, rushing to get off from on top of you as he grabbed your shirts from the floor, throwing yours over to you as he fumbled to put his own shirt back on.
“Don’t you dare tell anyone about this.” He says sternly, running a hand through his hair to get it back to somewhat normal. You rush to put your shirt back on, bounding off the couch before Jessica could walk out of the bathroom.
“I wasn’t planning on it.” You reply in kind, refusing to acknowledge the pit in your stomach that formed as Haechan gave an uninterested eyebrow flash and went to busy himself in the kitchen, preparing to act normal for whenever Jessica eventually walked out so you could take her home.
It was only three days later when you saw Haechan again. More excited than usual for their Tuesday dinner, Jessica opened the door before Haechan could even use his key. “Hey!” She greets with a smile which he reflects right back.
“Hey!” He replies, actually stepping into your living room.
Jessica immediately starts talking about how she’s not even close to being ready yet but was swamped with homework and couldn’t wait for the forced study break that came with dinner, even though she had to go make herself look presentable first. Haechan nodded along, but you’re not sure he was listening at all, because even though Jessica was right in front of him, his gaze kept wandering over to you on the couch before he could noticeably snap his focus back to Jessica. You tried to stay natural, that way if Jessica actually followed his gaze over to you, she wouldn’t immediately suspect something. Though, when Jessica did finally go back to start getting ready for dinner, you jumped off the couch and dragged Haechan by the collar towards the corner of the room furthest away from hers.
“You have to stop being so weird around me. Jessica is gonna know something happened.” You say sternly, though you kept your voice at a near whisper just in case you weren’t as far away from Jessica as you thought. Your eyebrows furrowed as you looked over Haechan. He had never been this uncool before.
Haechan shakes his head, keeping his volume low though his words were more frantic than yours. “I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you.” You take a small step back in surprise, finally letting go of your grip on his shirt. That was probably the last thing you were expecting him to say, but you would be lying if you said it didn’t make your heart jump up in your throat.
“So…” You start, begging for clarification on what that meant.
Haechan moves his head down so that he’s able to make better eye contact with you, so that you could see the seriousness in his gaze. “So can we maybe see each other when Jessica isn’t getting ready in the next room?”
You swallow hard at the question. “That sounds like a lot of sneaking around.”
“It’s worth it for you.” He replies instantaneously, making you freeze again. He was saying a very right thing under what felt like the wrong context, and despite yourself, you try to remedy that.
“But- does it have to be all sneaky? I mean, couldn’t we just-” Though, that’s as far as he lets you get before he cuts you off, shaking his head with a small laugh.
“Y/n, be real. We don’t like each other. This isn’t something emotional, it’s physical. Yeah?” Right, this was your mortal enemy you were talking to. You guys didn’t like each other. An actual relationship would be the worst idea in the world, but that doesn’t take away from the fact that he looks like a dream in skinny jeans…and you’d take what you could get.
“Yeah- uh, yeah. Let’s do it.” You reply, and Haechan flashes you a killer smirk before breaking away and settling himself on the couch to wait for Jessica to get done. You don’t join him, already feeling dizzy from the conversation. Instead, you just find refuge in your bedroom until they leave, but that night didn’t end without a text from Haechan, already making plans.
You and Haechan quickly fell into routine. The first time you went over to his house under the guise of you going to study at the library, you hardly said two words to each other. Instead, Haechan opened his door to your presence and immediately pulled you inside by your arm, pushing you towards the general direction of the couch so he could get on top of you.
The next time you came over, he opened the door to see your bright smile. “Hey, Hyuck-!” You could hardly get your words out before he pulled you inside and pinned you against the now closed door. Through heavy pants in between harsh kisses, he speaks.
“I love it when you call me that.”
You involuntarily smile a bit as you do your best to look at him with raised eyebrows. “Your name?” You ask sarcastically as he sucks on your neck.
He pops his head back up so he can look you in the eyes as he replied. “My name that the people who I care about call me.” You freeze, chills running through your entire body at his words, and in that moment, you knew you were fucked, because this was not just physical to you. Haechan was naturally flirty - a sweet talker. That wasn’t hard to deduce from his looks alone. He was hot and he knew it, which also meant he knew how to get whatever girl he wanted for the time being, but the idea of being a ‘time being’ girl of his began to make cracks in your heart. That night, you left with a spare key to his house and instructions of coming over whenever you wanted, for physical purposes, of course.
As soon as Jessica said she was going back home for the weekend, you immediately texted Haechan to let him know, and not even five minutes after Jess closed the door to your place, you opened it back up again to Haechan’s presence. “Hey, y/n.” He says with a smile you can’t help but reflect back to him.
“Hi, Hyuckie.” You reply bashfully. You watch as his eyes widen a bit, his smile now reaching the rest of his facial features. Without spending much time thinking about it, he leans in and gives you a quick peck on the lips before instantly retreating back and facing the floor. You laugh as you step back and actually allow him inside, figuring that kiss was probably too domestic for him to handle.
Since the two of you hadn’t commenced this whole operation at your place before, Haechan waited for you to take the lead on deciding where he could have you. You watch his idle presence, laughing a bit, much to his confusion, before shaking your head. “Come here.” You say, nodding your head, and he’s quick to follow.
“Um, y/n?” He says as you turn into the room. “This is your bathroom.”
“I know.” You say, bending down to grab something in one of your cabinets. Haechan just stares at you bewildered, even more so when you pull out a lens case and contact solution. You smile at his expression. “Go on then. I know you still haven’t switched contacts and I know you brought your glasses with you.”
“What?” He asks with wide eyes. You shake your head fondly, placing a gentle hand on his cheek.
“Your contacts irritate your eyes. You look cute in glasses. Please take out your stupid contacts and put your glasses on.” You watch as he dismisses your words, shaking his head as his eyes glaze with fear rather than confusion. You bite on the inside of your cheek, beyond pissed that his ex turned him into this. “Hyuck, you’re the hottest person alive. I don’t care about whatever your ex-girlfriend said. I understand if you get self-conscious and want to wear your contacts out in public, but you don’t have to with me. All I want is for you to be comfortable, and I know you’re not in your contacts.” You watch as he nods his head slowly, and you leave the bathroom with a soft smile as he gets close to the mirror to start taking his contacts out.
You sit on the couch as you wait for him to come out of the bathroom, scrolling idly on your phone. You pop your head up to meet him when you hear his footsteps cause the floor to creak. He looks small, his arms crossed, gaze aimed at the floor, and his glasses on. You smile warmly. “My pretty boy, come here.” You say, standing up with open arms, but Haechan freezes.
“What?”
You don’t know what he’s confused about until you trace back over your words, eyes going wide as you try and remedy the situation. “I- I didn’t mean to be so possessive, calling you mine and everything. I know you’re not…mine. I mean, this is purely physical. I wasn’t trying to be like- you know. It just slipped out. I’m sorry. Please come objectify me and make things normal again.”
“Y/n, you know you’re not just a body to me, right?” He asks softly, a skeptical eyebrow raised. You raise your head to look at him through narrow eyes.
“I’m not?”
He rolls his eyes, shaking his head. “No, of course not. I didn’t mean to make you feel like that.”
“But then- but this is just physical…you don’t- I mean we don’t like each other so I don’t know how-” Your stumbling words are cut off with a kiss that you melt right into. Haechan pulls back finally with a tired expression on his face.
“You seriously talk too much. Yeah, we don’t like each other, but that doesn’t mean I act as if you’re just some body for me to use. You’re y/n, which means you’re my favorite person to hate. And you hate me back, which is great because you always look so hot when you’re pissed at me, it gets right under my skin in all the best ways. And I get the pleasure of knowing what you taste like? Do you know how big a flex that is? I mean, come on. You’re the hottest nerd around, and instead of the other nerds who probably have the biggest crush on you being the ones to kiss you like this, I’m the one who gets to know you use dragon fruit chapstick.”
You’re able to let out a soft laugh. “You know it’s dragon fruit?” You ask in response, and Haechan raises his eyebrows, a smirk covering his lips.
“We kiss a lot.” He replies. You toss his words around visibly in your head.
“I don’t know. I don’t think we do it enough.” You say back, and Haechan just licks his lips.
“You don’t know how badly I want to make you eat your words.” He says through his teeth, and you just throw a taunting grin his way.
“Then why don’t you?” You ask, and Haechan audibly laughs before grabbing you by the waist and crashing his lips onto yours.
You break after who knows how long when your stomach starts feeling like it’s caving in on itself. Haechan wastes no time in moving his lips from your own to your neck, guessing you probably just needed to break for air. You roll your eyes with a smile. “Hyuck.” You say monotonously, making him pop his head back up to your joyless demeanor.
“Did I do something wrong? I’m sorry. I just-”
“Hyuckie,” you laugh, and he seems to calm down a bit. “I haven’t had anything to eat yet today. I’m starving. I can’t physically kiss your pretty face anymore.”
Haechan shrugs. “Okay, let’s order a pizza.”
You look at him, bewildered. “What- I thought- you’re not just gonna…I thought you were gonna go.”
“And why would I do that?” He questions, making you scrunch your brows down.
“Because then it would be like us hanging out while we eat. Not…this.”
Haechan laughs again. “I know. Let’s order a pizza. We’ve watched Bones on your couch before. You’re crazy if you think I’m gonna leave you so soon.”
The shyest smile crosses your face as you reach for the phone to call the pizza place. You stare down at the number entered on the keypad - all you had to do was press the call button. Instead, you turn your gaze back over to Haechan, holding your phone out towards him. “Can you do it?” You ask shyly, and Haechan’s brows furrow.
“What?” He asks with ample confusion. You drop your head in response.
“I get really nervous when I need to order something over the phone.” You reply, your words hardly audible under your embarrassment. Haechan shakes his head, but the biggest smile comes across his face.
“You’re so fucking adorable. Give me the phone, you go get the TV ready.” He says, and you snap your gaze back up to him, a small grateful smile of your own painted across your lips as you move towards the TV. “Just a large pepperoni pizza, yeah?” Haechan continues, and you turn back to him with a nod.
“Yeah.”
You immediately turn Bones on the TV for the two of you to watch while you eat, and you’re pleasantly surprised to find a normal activity such as this didn’t feel awkward at all with him anymore. Haechan finished eating before you did, and he frowned at the space between the two of you on the couch for only a second before sliding over and wrapping an arm around your shoulder. You will your face not to blush at something as stupid as this, and you don’t even know if it worked. Regardless, there was still twenty minutes left on the episode when you finished eating, too. So, you made yourself more comfortable against his body.
Haechan started rubbing his thumb up and down your side where it had laid, incredibly too domestic for your liking. You try and shake it off pretty successfully, until his thumb moved ever so slightly to caress your covered breast. You sigh, turning to face him with a raised eyebrow. “You’re an idiot.” You say monotonously.
He doesn’t look away from the TV, but he grins widely. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” He replies. Though, his attempt to feign innocence is completely ruined when he straight up grabs your boob.
“Okay, that’s it.” You huff, switching from your position laying at his side to instead straddling him on top of your couch. Haechan looks at you as though he has no clue what you’re doing there, though his hands immediately latch onto your thighs, pulling you as close as possible to him.
“You had enough to eat yet?” He asks with a smirk.
You give a minimal shake of your head. “I don’t know, you look pretty tasty.” You hardly get through your words before your ability to speak is taken from you. Haechan kissed you with a passion that couldn’t be rivaled, as his hands left your thighs to grab your waist, trying his best to pull you even closer to him. You knew you messed up when you started moving your lower body against his, making him break away from the kiss immediately.
“Fuck, y/n!” He says loudly, but his grip on your waist only encourages you to speed up. As he tore his lips from yours, you moved to suck on his neck, another thing you shouldn’t have done. “No, no, no! That’s my job. Need your pretty neck.” He huffs, doing his best to remove your shirt. You let him, and then Haechan has a field day with your neck and chest as you still grind against him. Somewhere along the way, you managed to rip him from his shirt as well, your fingers lightly tracing his abs and making him go crazy. He eventually started dipping his fingers beneath the waistline of your pants. “Y/n, tell me to stop.” He breathes.
“Do I have to?” You reply in between kisses.
“Yes, y/n. I- You don’t know how badly I need you.”
“Show me, then.”
Haechan pulls back from your lips, staring at you intently. “Y/n, I refuse to let this be something you regret.”
You laugh a little, shaking your head in dismissal. “I won’t. I promise.”
Haechan looks at you as though he’s holding back his own laugh. “That sounded so certain. I would hate to be the guy that has you sure this won’t be as bad.” He replies, and you suddenly understand his interpretation of your words, causing you to duck your head, moving your attention to your hands that were currently fiddling with Haechan’s fingers.
“Oh, no. Hyuck, I’ve never…” Your words taper off, and Haechan looks at you with wide eyes.
“Oh my god, y/n. I can’t be your first. I mean, that’s a big deal, you know? You deserve-”
“Hyuck, there’s no one I trust more than you for this.” You say, cutting him off and getting him to render still. He licks his lips in contemplation, sighing heavily before he looks back up at you.
“You might end up bleeding - that’s okay. I don’t want you to worry about that or feel embarrassed at all because of it. I’ll clean you up after. If at any point you get uncomfortable, you tell me right away. I do not care what point that is, you tell me and it stops immediately, no questions asked. I will do my best to not hurt you, but you gotta tell me what feels good, okay? I’m gonna need you to be vocal and I mean it literally. I wanna make this about you, yeah? Tell me what you want and what feels good. And if you’re not 100% sure, I need you to be honest about it right now because-”
“Hyuckie.” You say gently, cutting him off. “I’m sure. You don’t have to worry.”
“Yes, I do!” He rebuttals. You just roll your eyes playfully, leaning in to give him a quick kiss before making eye contact again.
“It’s okay. Look, all you have to do is wrap your pretty fingers around my neck and we’ll be good to go.” You say plainly. Haechan looks at you in disbelief.
“A choking kink? You’re kidding me.” He says, adding on a dismissive chuckle. Though, you just raise your eyebrows at him expectantly, letting him know you were serious, and he turns slightly shy.
You watch as he sucks on his lips, eyes darting down from your own as he fights back a smile. “Like, is this good?” He asks, wrapping one of his hands around your neck lightly. His face contorts as you audibly laugh.
“Absolutely not. Come on, choke me like you hate me, Hyuck.”
His eyes go wide as he pulls his hand from your neck. “You know, I don’t know if I want to take you to the bedroom anymore. You scare me.” He remarks playfully, but you send a pout his way and he instantly folds, picking you up from under your thighs and making his way to your bedroom. The two of you spend an ample amount of time just making out, exploring each other’s bodies. Then, with another check of assurance from Haechan and a rip of a condom packet with his teeth, he gave you a glimpse of heaven.
Afterwards, Haechan got straight to work on his promise of helping you clean up. “Alright, beautiful, do you wanna shower?” He asks, but you don’t answer his question.
“Don’t call me that.” You say instead, watching as he furrows his brows. You sigh, dodging his eye contact. “Too domestic…” You add on, and you can hear him sigh.
“Okay, I’m sorry. I won’t call you that, but really, do you want to shower?” He asks again, and you nod. He immediately scoops you up, carrying you bridal style to the bathroom.
“I can walk you know?” You say playfully before he sets you down on the bathroom floor.
“Yeah? Guess I need to go harder next time.” He replies with a smirk, but your playfulness falls into genuine happiness.
“I’m glad there’s still a ‘next time’ after all this.”
Haechan drops his shoulders, taking the opportunity provided by the fact that you were staring at the floor to look at you with a softness in his eyes. “There’s always a ‘next time’ with us.” He says, placing a gentle kiss on your forehead before moving to start up the shower for you. Standing frozen, by the time you realize you had to tell him that forehead kisses were also too domestic for you to handle, he was already out of the bathroom.
When you walk back into your room wrapped in a towel, you’re shocked to see your bed stripped to just the mattress. You move your gaze to Haechan, a questioning look on your face. “Your sheets are in the washer right now. Do you have another set I can throw on your bed? If not, you can sleepover at mine. I’d just want to make sure we get your bedding in the dryer before we leave to go back to mine.”
You’re quite honestly dumbfounded, and a smile takes over your face as you shake your head. “No, I don’t have another set. You didn’t have to do all this.” You say softly, but Haechan snaps his head back to you in an instant.
“Yes, I said I would. And this isn’t about me. How are you feeling?”
“Good.” You answer truthfully.
“Can I get you anything?” He continues, and you shake your head.
“No.” You reply. There was a beat of silence, and you lick your lips. “Actually…” You drag off, staring up at him to make sure he actually didn’t care about you making requests. “Could you just- can you just hold me for a second?” You ask weakly, and Haechan’s eyes widen.
“Yeah…yeah! Come here.” He says gently, and you take the few small steps right into his waiting arms. You don’t hug him back, your arms instead at your chest, holding up the towel that was still covering your body. Though, if Haechan minded, he didn’t let it show. His arms wrapped around you tightly, his embrace comforting. Then, without being able to really explain why, you began to cry in his arms. Haechan didn’t seem shocked. Instead, he just ran one hand gently up and down your back, though not letting up on his tight hold of you.
“I’m sorry.” You say hoarsely. “I don’t know why I’m crying.”
Haechan kisses the top of your head. “You don’t have to apologize. It’s okay. You’ve had an exhausting day. I’d rather you cry in my arms than alone.”
You dig your head out of his chest, using one hand to wipe away the remaining tears on your face. “You can’t be this nice to me.” You say seriously, and Haechan sighs.
“Okay, no more being nice to each other…after tonight.” He says, and you find yourself nodding your head in response, getting him to relax again. “Do you still want me to hold you, or do you want to get dressed and head to mine?” He asks, truly not caring either way.
You pull yourself out of his arms in response, facing the floor. “I’ll uh- get ready.”
The drive over to his place is quiet, with you staring out the window the entire time. Though, as soon as you walk through his front door, you find your words again. “I don’t regret it.” You say seriously. “And I won’t regret it when I wake up tomorrow. Or any time after that. I know I’m acting weird, but it’s not because of that. I promise.”
Haechan looks your way with a fond smile. “You aren’t acting weird, y/n. I put you through a lot today. I get it. Just come crawl into bed with me. I’ll hold you some more.” You don’t hesitate to give into his offer, though, you add it to the list of things that probably shouldn’t happen again if you don’t want to fall in love with Haechan.
You ended up spending the entire next day with Haechan, under the reasoning that this would be the most time you guys would be able to spend together without Jessica getting suspicious. The two of you were walking back into your dorm Saturday night so that you could put your bed back together and hang out some more, figuring Haechan could just spend the night here and leave in the morning before Jessica gets back. That plan is instantly ruined when you open up the front door and see Jessica moving around in the kitchen. As quickly as you could, you shove Haechan back into the dorm hallway with one hand and slam the door behind you, praying he got the hint that Jessica was here and you didn’t just suddenly turn into a bitch.
At the sound of the door slamming, Jessica shoots her gaze your way with a smile. “Hey, y/n!”
You force your legs to start walking, moving towards the living room as if everything was normal. “Hey, Jess. I thought you weren’t supposed to be back until tomorrow afternoon.” You say, wondering why the hell she was already here. She waves an uninterested hand in the air.
“That was the plan, but I have so much homework and my parents had a brunch planned with some of their friends so there was really no reason for me to stay another night.”
“Ah.” You reply, trying to just sneak away to your room without any more complications. You had nearly gotten away with it, but before you can step through the open door into your room, Jessica speaks up again, making you turn back to her.
“Oh, yeah. Where are your bed sheets?” She asks, curious, and you wince.
“Uh, they’re in the dryer. I washed them.” You say neutrally, but Jessica raises an eyebrow.
“You? Washed your sheets? You never wash your sheets.” She says with a laugh.
“Yeah well, you know. Just seemed like they needed washed.” You reply, trying your best to sound normal.
“And uh- would that have anything to do with the hickies on your neck?” She asks, and you freeze on the spot, eyes wide as you make contact with her knowing expression, praying to God she didn’t know the all of it.
“Uh- yeah you know. I might’ve hooked up with someone while you were gone.” You say, fumbling through your words. You watch as Jessica lights up.
“Who?!”
Your throat turns dry, and you start fiddling with the rings on your fingers as you find someone to pin this on. “Johnny! You know, the kid from Chicago who takes the least amount of credit hours a semester as possible so he can spend as many years at college parties as possible? Him.” You look back up to meet Jessica’s bewildered face.
“Wow.” She replies, seeming to be incredibly amazed by your ability to pull Johnny, and you can’t even begin to imagine what she would look like if you told her you actually pulled her best friend, instead.
“Yeah, so- I’m just gonna go grab my sheets from the dryer and go to bed. I’ve had quite the weekend and we still have all of Sunday to get through.” As soon as you finish talking, you dart to where the washer and dryer were before rushing back to your bedroom and closing the door, immediately grabbing your phone to text Haechan.
Jessica is back early! I’m sorry for slamming the door in your face, but I didn’t know what else to do.
His response comes a few minutes later, finally letting you relax again. Don’t worry, I figured that was the case. I’m already back at my place…
Though you were glad he wasn’t still outside your dorm, because he definitely couldn’t come in now, your heart struggled with the idea of him already back at his house…without you. I wish we could’ve had our extra night together. I miss you, Hyuckie.
You watch as his text bubble appears and disappears. You bite on your bottom lip, opting to start putting your bed back together to keep your mind from running. After putting one corner of your fitted sheet back on, your phone dings and you instantly move to grab it and read his message. I thought we weren’t supposed to be nice to each other.
A small smile spreads across your face. He was making fun of you. You were the one who set those boundaries in the first place. You glance from your phone to your bed and immediately know how to respond. Don’t worry. I only wish you were here so you could help me make my bed like you said you would.
There’s my y/n. You read his text over and over again. Surely he just meant it in regard to your typical personality with him, the y/n he knew. Though, the more you looked at his text, the more you knew you didn’t want him to mean it in that way, you wanted him to call you his. That’s when you knew there was no way you could respond to that message. So, you continue the task of making your bed so you could go to sleep, trying to ignore how empty it felt without him.
Two days later, you walked back in from class to see Jessica and Haechan hanging out in your living room. Your breath hitches at the sight of him, and you quickly turn around and act like you were still fiddling with the door so you could take a moment to fix a neutral expression on your face…and prepare yourself to scowl at him once you turn back around.
“Hey, Jess. I’m home-” You start, moving to walk towards the living room. “-oh great. You’re here.” You continue with a roll of the eyes as your gaze lands on Haechan.
His deadpan stare looks you up and down as his nose scrunches in disgust. “Yeah, cause I was told you weren’t.”
You flash your eyebrows at him, unamused. “Well, don’t worry. I won’t be bothering you.” You state as you start on your walk to your room. Haechan calls out after you.
“You already are, sweetheart.” He says condescendingly.
“Yeah, fuck you.” You reply back, closing the door to your bedroom and giving yourself the ability to actually breathe again.
On the couch, Jessica rubs her forehead. “You know, I thought things were actually gonna get better between the two of you after you watched Bones that one day.” She says with a small, but defeated, laugh. Haechan clears his throat awkwardly.
“Sorry to kill your spirits, but y/n and I are not meant to be friends.” He replies in kind before quickly getting the two of them back to their conversation topic from before you walked in.
You were getting through some homework when there was a knock at your door. Assuming it was Jessica, you throw the door open, though shock courses through you when you see Haechan, instead. He leans in to give you a soft kiss before standing straight up again, as if that type of thing was normal between the two of you. “Jessica is in the bathroom.” He says softly, and you look at him with a raised eyebrow.
“That’s great, but I don’t think that gives us enough time to fuck.” You respond with a laugh, though Haechan’s brows furrow.
“What? I didn’t come here for that. I came to tell you I’m sorry for being mean to you when you came in.”
Surprise runs over your face, but it soon drops into a gentle smile. “Don’t worry about it, Hyuck. We’re supposed to hate each other.”
He rolls his eyes. “I know, but it didn’t feel good this time.” He responds, riddled with defeat, and you can’t help yourself from getting up on your tiptoes to lightly kiss him again.
You pull back quickly, facing the ground. “Hyuckie-” That’s when the sound of the bathroom door opening fills the air, and you immediately jump to lean uninterestedly against your doorframe, arms crossed in front of your body as your face falls flat. “Homework! So, can you stop annoying me just because Jessica is gone for one second and you can’t annoy her?”
As predicted, Jessica quickly finds her way over to the two of you, eventually coming to stand at Haechan’s side. “Can’t believe I come out of the bathroom to find you talking with y/n.” She says with genuine surprise. You make concerned eye contact with her.
“Talking? More like tormenting…” You say in response.
Jessica turns to look at Haechan, nudging him slightly. “Hyuck, I would be careful about pissing her off, now. She’s got some big men on her side that can come beat you up. I mean, she hooked up with Johnny Suh.”
Your face becomes painted with shock. “Jessica!” You yell, causing her to put her hands up in defense.
“Look, it just came out.”
Haechan makes eye contact with you, a shit-eating grin on his face. “Hooked up with Johnny?! Really?” He responds, playing his part of not believing you pulled him exceptionally well.
You flash your eyebrows at him, doing your best to try and act all powerful now because you apparently hooked up with Johnny. “Yep! It was one hell of a first time.” You reply, and a soft smile is quick to adorn your face as you continue. “Not to mention he took…really good care of me after. You could learn something from him about how to treat women.” You add on, looking back up at him with a smirk. Almost all of Haechan’s body language could lead anyone to believe he hated you, didn’t give a damn about who you slept with, could hardly bother himself with this conversation at all, but his eyes were filled with fondness as he looked back at you. You inhale sharply, thankful when Haechan starts talking again to remind you of the environment you were in.
“Yeah? I’ll be sure to ask for lessons on how to tolerate you first.” He responds with a smirk of his own. Jessica finally gets fed up, rolling her eyes and grabbing Haechan by the arm to drag him away from you before you could argue any more. You almost instantly throw your homework back in your backpack, walking to the door to leave as you turn around to face them again.
“I’m gonna head to the library since I obviously can’t get any work done here. I’ll be back later tonight.” You say with a smile aimed in Jessica’s direction. She threw a thumbs up your way along with a ‘be safe,’ and then you were out the door.
You had just gotten to the library when your phone lit up with a text from Haechan.
I’ll pick you up from the library after Jess and I eat dinner.
You can’t help the laugh that escapes you, though really, you’re beyond glad he could see how much you wanted him tonight. I’d be pissed if you didn’t :)
His response is instantaneous. Yeah, yeah. Go do your homework before I fuck you dumb <3
Around an hour and a half later, you get a call from Haechan and you immediately stuff your laptop back into your bag before picking up the phone. “Hey, where are you sitting? I’ll come pick you up-” He starts, but you cut him off in an instant.
“Absolutely not. We cannot be seen in public together.”
“Y/n, this isn’t some big scandal.” He replies lightly, but you shake your head, regardless of the fact that he couldn’t see it.
“You’re wrong. Everyone knows we hate each other and everyone knows Jessica is our mutual. If they see us together, it’s getting back to Jessica in an instant. Tell me where you’re parked and I’ll come to you.” A small laugh accompanies your words, even more so when Haechan pouts on the other end and you can imagine it vividly.
“Fine, but you’re never allowed to complain that chivalry is dead when you’re the one causing it.” You roll your eyes, stepping out of the library and immediately seeing his car anyways. You hang up on the phone and open his passenger door to slide into your seat. “Finish all your homework like a good girl?” He asks with a smirk and you send a glare his way.
“Shut up. I finished all but one assignment. I got a little distracted.” You drag off, and Haechan lights up.
“Oh my god, did you touch yourself in the library bathrooms?”
“No!” You reply adamantly before sinking back into the passenger seat a little. “But I would’ve if I had to wait any longer. Dinner took a long time, Hyuckie.” You add with a frown, and Haechan just shakes his head in the driver’s seat.
“God, it is taking everything in me to not throw you in the backseat and have you right here right now.”
You roll your eyes, more than aware that you couldn’t have car sex in front of the library. Instead, you place a hand on his cheek and kiss him deeply. He didn’t complain, figuring making out with you in his front seat was enough to hold him over since he couldn’t fuck you in the back seat. You let an entire song play through the radio as you indulged in Haechan’s taste, finally pulling back with a heavy breath before you could forget your morals. “Um…Please drive now so we can go home and you can undress me. I need you.”
Haechan tries to hide his smile as he shifts into drive and places his hands back on the wheel. “Yeah, yeah. Next stop…home.”
You stumble your way inside his front door, passionate kisses getting in the way of actually walking. The second you get inside, Haechan is sliding your shirt over your head. He keeps his kisses as consistent as possible until everything actually registers in his mind and he pulls back to look you up and down, absentmindedly licking his lips. “Y/n, goddamn.”
You look down at your chest just to laugh and fix your gaze back on him. “Oh yeah, I forgot to tell you. I did some shopping.” You say offhandedly, as though your new lingerie set wasn’t killing Haechan. He finally brings himself to look back at your face, not bothering to hide how pissed he was.
“On the couch, now.” He orders, and you just roll your eyes playfully, grabbing him by the neck of his shirt to bring him along with you. In no time flat, he’s completely on top of you, kissing what seemed to be every inch of your body. Though, the second his lips land on your neck, you remember the new boundaries you had to set.
“Hey, you can’t leave marks on my neck anymore.”
“Oh, but Johnny can, huh?” He teases as he props himself up to make eye contact with you.
You roll your eyes. “He was the first guy that came to mind.”
Haechan shakes his head. “I’ll make sure you can never think about another guy again.” He says with conviction, and for a moment, you forget how to breathe.
“God, you’re so hot.” You say through an exhale, and Haechan just laughs before moving to suck and nip at your neck again. “Hyuck, that didn’t mean you could still bruise me, baby.”
He hums against your skin, finding a way to respond without putting too much space between your two bodies. “Can’t help it. You look so pretty, all marked up as mine.” He mumbles. You sigh, running a hand gently through his hair as he works on your chest instead.
“Hyuckie, I’m not yours.” You say softly, trying to make sure the defeat you felt while admitting that didn’t show. Haechan freezes immediately, and when he finally finds his ability to move, it’s just to press a lingering kiss on your lips.
“Just for tonight. Be mine just for tonight.” He says, though it comes out more so as a question. You let out another small sigh, shaking your head before moving to connect your lips to his again.
“Jessica knows I don’t do any homework past 10:00.” You tell him as you break apart. Haechan takes a moment to glance at his watch, reading the time before nodding his head softly.
“I’ll get you back by then. Don’t worry.” From then until 9:45, Haechan spent all of his time making sure you were his that night.
It was about two months into whatever it was that you and Haechan had gotten yourselves into. You were currently sitting in the living room. You knew Haechan was fully aware that Jessica wasn’t home, so now you were just waiting for him to burst through the front door at any moment. When he finally does, he walks to put his keys and wallet down on the counter before making his way over to where you were sitting and placing a soft kiss on your lips. “Hey,” he says smoothly, causing blush to cover your face. You still weren’t used to the days where he would be more gentle with you, not that you were complaining, but it was unfamiliar nonetheless. You smile back at him, about to respond when he finally moves his gaze to assess what you’ve been up to. “Are you playing Mariokart?” He asks, and you laugh from slight embarrassment.
“Yeah. Had to kill time while waiting for you somehow.” You say as you hit the home button to exit out, but then you notice the smallest traces of sadness cross his face, causing you to smirk. “Did you want to play?” You ask, and Haechan shoots his gaze back over to you, looking more like a boy than ever.
“Of course I want to play!” He replies, and suddenly your laughter isn’t from embarrassment anymore. You move to grab another remote for him so the two of you could play together. You spent the next two hours playing Mariokart with him, trying to perfect all the circuits so you could collect all the best trophies, and though today’s physical touch went no further than celebratory kisses, playful shoves, and your head on his shoulder, you wouldn’t have traded it for the world. Though, it brought about a fundamental truth - you were not having passionate sex with your enemy. No, you found that you liked being around Haechan.
The two of you had finished a quick dinner before the realization hit that Jessica would be coming back home from her night class soon. With a shared glance, you and Haechan both knew he should probably head back to his place. You reluctantly walked him to your front door, hand reaching for the knob to open it when Haechan’s hand grabbed hold of your own. You look up at him, confused, but he just stared down at you with a grin before leaning in to kiss you. “We can do this more often, too.” He says softly as he pulls back. You raise your brows in question.
“Kiss?” You reply, trying to figure out what he was referring to.
Haechan laughs, shaking his head and making his hair fall messily around his eyes. “No- well, yes, I always want to kiss you, but I’m talking about just hanging out. You know, playing Mariokart and all that…if you want! We don’t have to, I can just come over and immediately undress you and I wouldn’t mind that either-”
“Hyuck,” you say with a laugh, cutting him off. “We’ll hang out more, don’t worry. Besides, we still have the 200 cc circuits to beat.”
You watch as he smiles brightly back down at you before leaning back in, this time to kiss every inch of your face and turn you into a giggling mess. “I’ll see you soon.” He says smoothly, and then he’s finally out the door and leaving you blushing profusely because you think Haechan just admitted to enjoying being around you, too.
A couple of Fridays later, Haechan lets himself into your dorm as casually as ever when he comes over to actually hang out with Jessica. At the sound of the door closing, Jessica walks out from her room to greet Haechan, who already had his attention occupied by the new addition to your kitchen table. “Flowers? I didn’t know you could keep things alive.” He jokes as he turns around to face Jessica. She just rolls her eyes with a laugh.
“They’re not mine. Y/n bought them, and for your information, I can actually keep flowers alive way better than she can, thank you very much.” She replies, and Haechan turns back to study the bouquet again, trying to memorize them before Jessica could catch onto his actions.
“Should’ve known y/n bought them - these aren’t the prettiest flowers by a long shot.” He says with a scoff.
Jessica shakes her head. “You should be glad she isn’t home right now to hear you say that. The bluebells in there are her favorite flower in the world.” At this, Haechan shoots his gaze back towards Jessica.
“Really?” He asks, furrowing his eyebrows after the fact to try and cover up the genuine curiosity that painted his question. Jessica seems not to notice as she just nods her head, but that’s when you finally come in through the front door, and they both turn their attention towards you.
You didn’t know Haechan was going to be at your place right now, but you probably should’ve guessed with it being a Friday - if Mark and Jessica weren’t going on a solo date, their friend group typically hung out and bar hopped all together. Regardless of the fact that Jessica was there, you couldn’t bring yourself to put on a look of disgust once you saw Haechan. Instead, you were radiating off a sort of empty feeling - you weren’t really sad, just hollow, not concerned enough to fake-hate Haechan. You don’t say a single word in greeting as you just go to your room and start getting things ready for a shower.
Haechan turns back to Jessica with raised eyebrows. “Where did she just come from?” He asks, wondering what the hell had you looking like that.
“Ummmm, today’s Friday, right?” Jessica asks, then looking at the time. “She just got back from quantum mechanics.” She answers, and that seems to calm her worries - she would look dead every time she had to sit through quantum mechanics, too. On the other hand, Haechan’s hands balled into fists. He knew that class was with your dick of a professor, and he could only guess as to what disgusting things he threw your way this time that had you feeling so dirty you had to shower right away.
Haechan wanted to barge into your room, wrap you in the biggest hug, and let you cry in the comfort of his arms, but he couldn’t - not with Jessica here. With every muscle in his body tensed up, he thought about the consequences of his actions should he go wrap you in a hug anyways, but that wouldn’t be fair to you. You were a part of whatever relationship the two of you had going on, and you both agreed that relationship stayed hidden. He couldn’t ruin that now without your consent.
Instead, he just looked back at Jessica flatly, flashing his eyebrows in recognition of the answer, and then quickly moved along. “Do you wanna head out to meet up with the guys?” He asks in return, and if there was any desperation in Haechan’s voice conveying how much he needed to get out of your dorm before he cracked, Jessica didn’t pick up on it. She nodded, grabbing her things, knocking on your door to let you know they were heading out, and then following Haechan out of the dorm.
Before you knew it, six months had passed since Haechan lost his dad, and you decided to surprise him with his favorite meal. It wasn’t like the two of you weren’t planning dinners/hangouts/hookups basically every day anyways, but you still wanted this one to be more lowkey, more intimate in an emotional, rather than physical, way, and a surprise dinner would do just that. You picked up his favorite takeout for the both of you before driving over to his place, pulling out your spare key to his house with excitement overtaking you as you walked in.
“Hey, Hyuckie. I’m here with din- Oh god.” Your face, along with the bag of food in your hands, instantly drops as you turn back from the closed door to his living area, only to notice him on top of another girl…his ex. Tears immediately sting at the back of your eyes, and you’re using everything in you to not let them fall down your face.
Haechan pops up as soon as you had started speaking, his eyes wide as he turns to look at you over his shoulder, and his body still straddled over his ex. “Y/n!” He yells out in shock.
His ex moves to prop herself up on her elbows, giving her a clear view of your frozen state at the door. Then, she rolls her eyes with a laugh. “Oh, I forgot she was the one getting my sloppy seconds.”
Your brows furrow. In any case, this could have been two friends grabbing dinner together. There was no way for her to so confidently say you were hooking up with her ex without him saying so. You face Haechan with betrayal covering your entire being. “So much for not kissing and telling, huh Haechan?” You spit out before walking back out of his place and slamming the door.
When you were finally outside, that’s when you gave yourself the chance to bawl your eyes out. You knew you wouldn’t be able to drive home safely without letting yourself cry beforehand. What sucked is that it gave Haechan time to fling the front door open. “Y/n-” He starts, grabbing your wrist to stop you from walking. You do your best to face away from him entirely, yanking your wrist out of his hand and cutting him off.
“Don’t touch me, Haechan!” You choke out, and he lets go immediately, regardless of the desperation on his face.
“Look I-”
You stop him again, his voice alone sending more tears down your face. You finally turn to him, slowing your words down so your voice doesn't crack, or at least, you tried to. “How long has it been going on?”
Haechan’s face and shoulders drop in unison. “This is the first time she’s been back over since the break up.” He replies softly.
You shake your head, none of it making sense and all of it hurting you. “Why…?” You had more of a question prepared, but that was all you could get out. You watch as Haechan sighs.
“I ran into her at a darty today. She approached me and started conversation. I tried not to involve myself in it, but she laughed and told me I was stupid for not wanting to talk to her because she said no one else will ever love me. And when I went to refute, I accidentally mentioned you. And she- she laughed again, telling me that I was dumb for thinking you would ever care for me, cause you hate me. And I couldn’t think of anything to say in response. And so then we ended up here.” The more he spoke, the more enraged you became. You shake your head in disgust.
“Fuck you!”
Haechan’s eyes widened. “What-”
You make sure to maintain eye contact with him as you begin to speak, though your words were broken up by your intense sobs. “You couldn’t think of anything to say against her point?! Who was the one washing off the makeup she made you put on? Who was the one telling you that the last thing you needed to do was cover up your stupid pretty face in the first place? Who was the one with a contact lens case in their bathroom so you could take them out and wear your glasses while you were over because you’re more comfortable in them? Who was the one you came to for comfort when you lost your dad-?”
“I went over to find Jessica!” He yells, cutting you off, but you don’t take any of it.
“But you stayed when you saw it was just me! Haechan-”
“Can you stop fucking calling me that?!” He pleads, tears now running slowly down his own cheeks.
All you can do is shake your head again sadly. “I don’t understand how you could go through all of that with her and then go back to it. Do you know how idiotic I feel?! Sneaking around and lying to Jessica because I’m hooking up with her best friend, who everyone thinks I hate, by the way, behind her back. Being so euphoric from your touch that I want to tell the world but I can’t because you told me I couldn’t tell anyone, and I wasn’t gonna break that promise because I wanted to be able to keep seeing you- would do anything to keep seeing you. Thinking that maybe there was the smallest chance any of this was real to you, too. To be so upset over something I have no right to be upset about because you were never mine.”
“Y/n-” He says as gently as he could given both your states. You lose the courage to look him in the eye, instead dropping your gaze to the floor as you respond.
“I feel like an idiot, Haechan.” With that, you turn to get back in your car and go home, and Haechan doesn’t stop you.
You continued to cry the entire drive back home, but you managed to stop the debilitating sobs, and instead soft, insistent tears just rolled down your face. You unlock the door to your house, your voice cracking as you announce your presence.
“I’m home.”
“Y/n-” Jessica starts excitedly, but then she sees your state and instantly panics. “-are you okay?! What happened?!” She continues, running up to where you stand defeated at the entryway.
“Is everything okay?” A male voice adds, and you sigh as your cries get more intense again.
“Mark is here. Of course Mark is here. Cause you guys are together and happy.” You say in a snarky response, and out of your peripheral, you see a frowning Mark take two steps back from the hug you and Jessica were encased in.
“Y/n, what is going on?” Jessica asks, more confused than ever because you’ve never been anything but happy for her and Mark. You shake your head rapidly in response.
“Nothing. You would hate me.”
Though your face was buried in her chest, you can sense her rolling her eyes. “I can assure you, I wouldn’t.” She states plainly, and though you knew she definitely would once she actually knew what was up, you took her words for what they were worth and your explanation tumbled out of your mouth.
“I’ve been hooking up with Haechan behind your back.”
Jessica immediately pulls away from the hug, making concerned eye contact with you instead. “WHAT?!”
Mark glances between the two of you, feeling incredibly like he was intruding, even more so because Haechan was his friend, too. “I’m uh- gonna go grab food!” He interjects before dashing out of the door behind you. With him gone, you continue with your explanation.
“For months, Jess. And we agreed not to tell anyone because it was just a friends with benefits thing, or enemies with benefits I guess. But it was more to me. It was real. I love him, Jessica.” The words just tumbled out of your mouth, but they were true, you knew so the second you said it. You loved Haechan.
Jessica looks at you with a frown. “So why the tears?” She asks gently, and you immediately drop your gaze to the floor, embarrassed, ashamed.
“I went over and unlocked his door with my spare key because we were gonna have dinner together.” You say slowly, your words finally coming out more even.
“Yeah?” Jessica probes when you had seemed to stop talking completely. You swallow hard, squeezing your eyes shut to avoid more tears from falling, but then you just spit it out.
“He was with his ex. On top of her. On the couch that knows my imprint.”
Jessica’s eyes widened impossibly. “Y/n-”
“Why the fuck would he do that, Jessica?” You practically shout, your rage finally mixing in with your sorrow.
Jessica just shakes her head, sucking on her bottom lip. “I don’t know.” She replies softly, and then she just holds you in silence until your tears finally stop and you move to lock yourself in your bedroom.
Two days later, when there’s a knock on your door, you assume Jessica is there to try and get you to eat something again. You slump over to open your bedroom door, already preparing how to tell Jessica you still couldn’t imagine stomaching food yet, when instead, it’s Haechan’s worried gaze meeting yours. Your eyes widen, stinging with tears already, but you can’t bring yourself to close the door just yet - maybe it was the fact that he was in his glasses, goddamned skinny jeans, and a bouquet of flowers in his hand. “Y/n, it was the worst mistake of my life.” He says sincerely, and you drop your gaze to the floor.
“What? Getting together with me or her?” You ask with venom.
His response is instantaneous. “With her. Obviously!”
“You sure? You sure she doesn’t love you more than I do?” You spit back angrily, daring to look him in the eyes once again just to glare at him.
The sadness in his face neutralizes in an instant, and he stares back at you with wide eyes. “You- do you- do you love me?” He asks hesitantly in response, and the tears you’d been holding back fell freely now.
“I’m not fucking putting myself through this.” You respond defeatedly, and you immediately close the door in his face, running to bundle up in bed in a mess of tears.
When you finally step out of your room again to grab a water bottle, you’re met with the bouquet Haechan had in his hands now laying on the counter. You walk up to it, reading the sticky note now attached.
This was the only bouquet they had with bluebells…I know they’re your favorite. Coincidentally, one of their meanings is forgiveness (according to the flower shop guy, at least). There’s nothing I want more than your forgiveness. Y/n, I messed up so bad, I know, I’m sorry. I never should have done that. I don’t know why I did that, not when you’re everything I’ve ever wanted. I’m sorry I never made you mine when I really had the chance. I was terrified you didn’t feel for me the way I do for you, but now I know how stupid that was. You’re the only one to ever care for me the way you do, and if you decide that what I did was too terrible, just know you’ll forever be my standard…my beautiful, incomparable standard.
When Jessica walked in through the front door after grabbing lunch with Mark, she found you still standing there in the kitchen, looking down on the now tear-stained note as your body still shook with sobs.
She walked over to the counter, silently sliding the note away from where it laid in front of you to read it herself. From your right, you hear her sigh and she’s quick to put down the note and wrap you in a hug instead. You stay crying in her arms for what you felt had to be too long, but she never said a word about it if it was.
Your days quickly started to blur, all of them feeling the same as you would drag yourself to class and then back home, with no extra plans to ever keep you occupied or active. You were currently on the couch, sweats adorning your figure, Bones on the TV, and a pint of ice cream in your hands. You had given up on trying - no longer caring about nice outfits or makeup, hardly eating anything of actual substance. As long as you had enough energy to sit through class, you considered it a win. It was after dinner time when Jessica got back from one of her dates with Mark, closing the front door to turn around and see you as her face falls.
“Hey…how are you?” She asks lightly, walking over to where you sat in the living room.
You don’t move your gaze away from the TV, or more so, the ice cream you were eating. “Fine. Why?” You reply monotonously, and Jessica looks at you defeatedly.
“Because sweetheart, it’s been two months and you’re still devouring pints of icecream at a time on our couch.”
“I don’t like life without him.” You spit out in reply, though your voice is weak, and the more you thought about how true the statement was, the closer you got to tears.
Jessica reaches over to brush some of your hair back from where it covered your face, making sure the two of you could make eye contact. “I know. He feels the same way, you know?”
“You’re just saying that.” You snap back instantly, but Jessica shakes her head.
“No, I’m not. I wouldn’t do that to you. Every time I go over to his place, he looks almost exactly like you do. He keeps beating himself up, saying he should’ve stuck to his plan for your birthday, that everything would’ve worked out perfectly if he knew you at least tolerated him before he indulged in your physical attractiveness.”
This finally gets your attention, and your face fills with confusion, feeling something other than sadness for the first time in two months. “Wh- what do you mean his plan for my birthday?”
Jessica seems surprised at the question. “Oh, I thought he would’ve told you. He was gonna pick you up from class and walk you back here so he could wish you a happy birthday.”
In an instant, all of the color drains from your face again. “Why didn’t he?”
“I don’t know. He never told me.” Jessica answers seriously, now cementing the idea you had in your mind of what happened, everything clicking into place.
You finally speak again after what felt like forever of silence, your brain going 100 miles an hour. “...Do you know where he is now?” You ask seriously, and Jessica doesn’t hide her shock at your change in behavior.
“No, but I can find out. You okay?” She asks, and you just shake your head.
“No. No, not at all.” You reply, and you’re already up off the couch, rushing to put the pint of ice cream away and change into nicer clothes as Jessica texts Haechan, who just so happened to be at home…because his daily routine practically reflected yours over the past two months.
You knock harshly on his door, pacing back and forth as you wait for him to answer, nerves coursing through your entire being. After what felt like a lifetime, the door cracks open, and all of your movements pause. At first, it’s hardly open enough to see him at all, and you gulp back your awkwardness. “What do you-” He starts quietly, but he quickly recognizes you from the tiny view he allowed himself, and suddenly the door is swung wide open. “Y/n?”
You stare up at him, heart melting at the sight. He was in a big hoodie and wearing his glasses, making the corners of your mouth perk up in a smile. Though, the smile quickly drops as you take in the rest of his features. Jessica was right, he looked as bad as you. To be fair, he was still the most attractive man alive, but he had dark circles around his eyes, and he looked as though he hadn’t seen the sun in weeks.
You lick your lips, which were now noticeably dry, building the courage to speak as you did so. “You were gonna pick me up from class on my birthday?”
His eyes go wide as he moves his gaze away from you for the first time since he opened the door. “I-”
“Hyuck.” You cut him off, staring up at him intently and getting him to crack with a huff of breath.
“Yeah…yeah I was. Jessica said it was your birthday. And we still weren’t friends then, but I would’ve felt bad not at least wishing you a happy birthday. So I texted Jessica to see where you were and decided I would just walk you back from class. And I-” He breaks off with a faint laugh as he recalls the memory. “I put on a pair of skinny jeans beforehand because I figured even if you hated me, you found me at least a little more tolerable in skinny jeans. Then I went to go pick you up. When you didn’t come out with the rest of your class, I went inside the lecture hall to see what was up or if I just missed you somehow. That’s when I saw you talking to your professor. That’s when I heard his comments. You weren’t even in anything close to scandalous anyways. You just dressed up for your birthday. You were pretty. That was it, so I figured it wasn’t a one-off thing. How you handled it made me think it wasn’t the first time for it to happen, either. You could barely see your wince. The same couldn’t be said for me, though. I was mad, fuming. I got out of there as soon as I could so that I’d be out of sight by the time you got out. If you saw me and started a conversation, I wouldn’t be able to stop myself from bringing it up. God, I was so angry, and I figured that wasn’t what you wanted on your birthday.” He faced the ground while he spoke, but you studied his figure the entire time, your eyes finding their home as they landed on Haechan again after all this time. You hardly let him finish his last word before you speak up.
“Tell me you want to kiss me.” You say, and Haechan finally whips his head back up to face you, eyes wide in surprise. “Tell me you want to kiss me and have it mean something outside of these walls.”
“What?!” He responds, visibly thrown off. You don’t have the patience for it.
“Hyuck!” You say, and Haechan seems to come back to the moment, nodding his head rapidly.
“I do! I want to kiss you. Always.”
The biggest of smiles overtakes your face as you press up on your tiptoes to finally lock your lips with his again. One of his hands immediately flew to your waist, while the other placed itself lightly on the side of your face, holding you as though one harsh movement would cause this moment to break, this dream to end. When you pull back for air, Haechan wastes no time. “Y/n, please be my girlfriend. Please be mine. Please let me tell the entire world that you’re mine.” He says, his intonation practically making it a beg.
You nod your head before digging it into his chest in a tight hug. “I’m yours.”
#Haechan#NCT Dream#NCT 127#Haechan fic#Haechan x reader#NCT Dream x reader#NCT 127 x reader#nct x reader#Haechan fanfic#Haechan angst#Haechan fluff#NCT#NCT Dream fic#NCT 127 fic#Lee Donghyuck
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Just wanted to share this with a few song lyrics;
“Keep on whispering in my ear. Tell me all the things that I want to hear cause it’s true. (That’s what I like) That’s what I like about you, (that’s what I like!)
#buddie#eddie diaz#evan buckley#husbands#buck x eddie#I am sorry but come on#I used these lyrics cause I assumed they would use these but who knows#also who knows maybe they did the whole song like Oliver said either way we don’t know#and I hope Tim releases the scene if not for the fans then for Oliver and Ryan who worked so hard and were so proud of it#anyway#911 abc#also come on these lyrics: you keep me warm at night????#what I like about you#you hold me tight!!!!#I can’t 3x01 hug party flashback#no seriously#though I hope we one day can see it#and also pls someone do a gif set with these lyrics thank you#Oliver stark#ryan guzman#the romantics
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CHAPTER ONE | nothing good starts in a getaway car.
'it's nice to have a friend' fic masterlist + playlist | previous chapter
PAIRING: jamie tartt x fem!reader
WORD COUNT: 3.9k
SUMMARY: after attending the last richmond match of the season and being stranded in nelson road, reader has to hitch a ride with an old friend, jamie tartt.
WARNINGS: language
A/N: welcome to chapter one! the title of this makes it seem a little more dramatic than it actually is, but i just thought the lyric fit haha. hope you all enjoy!
“Oh my God, I really can’t believe it. AFC Richmond might actually make it back into the fucking Premier League!” Liv exclaimed, and you playfully rolled your eyes while putting on your shoes. “And I can’t believe my awesome boyfriend got us tickets to the finals!”
“What better way to spend the eve of our anniversary, yeah?” Freddie pulled his girlfriend into a side hug before helping her put on her jacket.
You hold back from smirking at the couple. If only your best friend knew what was about to go down, you'd probably go deaf from all the additional squealing. Even now, she was way too excited about the game to even notice how shaky her boyfriend was acting and the small bump on the left side of his jacket.
You never really liked watching football anymore, let alone going to games, but after Freddie told you a month ago about his plan, you just had to be there for his proposal. Well, possible proposal. The whole thing hinged on Richmond being promoted, so he needed at least a draw to get down on one knee. Of course, if the team lost, the two of you had already planned a backup proposal for their dinner tomorrow — which was the whole reason Freddie asked for your help in the first place.
You were so excited for the two of them, but it wasn’t enough to stop the pit in your stomach from forming. While you hadn’t been following football as much as you used to, you knew at least that Jamie was back at Richmond. You’d sometimes see your co-workers watching their games and praising the guy for being such a great player. They never asked you about your own thoughts cause they just assumed you didn’t know anything about the game, given you never talked about it. And that was good enough for you. But this was for Liv, and you’d do anything for that girl.
As you exit onto the sidewalk, Liv leans in to whisper, “Sorry about the shirt, by the way. It was the only one available at the stand. Apparently, there’s a surplus of Tartt shirts in stock.”
You had been friends with Liv since university when you became dormmates, so she knew about your former friendship with the player. Who else would know better than the girl who comforted you as you wept that night in your second year? But that was years ago, and you’ve been doing your best to put that in the past.
“It’s fine,” you laugh it off as you interlock your arm with hers. “It’s just a shirt, anyway. And not to mention, pretty low likelihood of him seeing me specifically in the crowd.” At least, that’s what you kept telling yourself. You weren’t exactly sure where in the stands your seats were, but even if you were right near the dugout, wearing this shirt meant you’d just blend in with the sea of red and blue. Plus, it was sunny out, so it was socially acceptable for you to wear shades to the game, too.
The three of you load into Frankie's car, with you in the back seat. During the ride, you started to tune out whatever the couple was talking about and mainly focused on trying to stop your legs from bouncing. You try and admire the surroundings, but you've lived in London for so long that the touristy effect has worn off. If anything, looking around Manchester would excite you more.
It was a short ride to Nelson Road, but there was still a hefty amount of walking given that cars weren't allowed past a certain point. You'd tried your best to get there as early as possible, but there was already a swarm of fans heading to the stadium.
You'd already claimed your tickets a few days ago, so you only had to push your way through the crowd once to get to your seats. Frankie managed to get tickets for the ones right behind the net, so you had a pretty good view of the game. If only that was all you were worrying about.
As you settle down in your seats, you try and shake it off. This isn't about Jamie; it hasn't been for years. You're here for Liv and Frankie, and that's all it was.
Though, after that terrible first half, you were wondering if the results would be too disappointing for the couple to even enjoy.
"What the actual fuck is going on with them?" You question as the teams return to their locker rooms.
Neither Liv nor Frankie gives you an answer, but the latter leans into you and whispers, "You double-checked the reservation for tomorrow, right?"
You sigh and nod your head. No matter the outcome, Liv was going to have a great proposal story, but wouldn't it be nice to tell everyone you got engaged at the same place and time as Richmond's promotion?
When the game starts again, you join the rest of the fans at the edge of their seat. Despite your efforts to distance yourself from the sport, — and in turn, Jamie — you couldn't deny the rush you got from watching it, especially in the stands. So when Sam Obisanya manages to score a goal, you're up with the rest of the crowd celebrating.
"Christ, I didn't realize you such were a big fan of Richmond," Frankie jokes, but you're quick to deny it.
"I'm not!" You cool down your tone when you see him widen his eyes and explain, "My formative years were spent in Manchester, so I know enough about football. Haven't been to a match in so long though," All of that was true, but you hold back from telling Frankie about your history with a certain player.
He seems satisfied with that answer and you go back to watching the match, your hands curling on the railing.
"Tartt is there. Is this the moment for Richmond?" You hear one of the sports commentators say and that gets all three of you out of the chair.
"Come on, Jamie." You whisper under your breath, and for a moment you forget everything that's happened between the two of you. He's just a football player and you're just a fan watching.
So when an opposing player tackles him, you're quick to shout, "Referee!" with the other people in your section.
"And it's a penalty!" You turn to Frankie and Liv as the crowd starts cheering, before turning your focus back to the teams getting ready. His cockiness wasn't always a good look, but it's kept him winning his entire career.
Jamie walks up to the net and you get the urge to keep your head low and avoid eye contact. But he hands the ball over to Dani Rojas, and so you look back up to watch the deciding goal, joining hands with Liv. You watch Dani mumble something under his breath before he kicks the ball right into the net.
"Richmond have done it!" You and Liv hug in celebration, but after a moment, you quickly separate. Your best friend keeps her eyes on you, but you watch as Frankie gets into position.
"You're gonna have another thing to celebrate." You say and before Liv can even give you a confused look, you turn her around to face her boyfriend, who is down on one knee.
Some of the other fans in your section started watching the proposal, with varying expressions. Some of your fellow hopeless romantics had a fond look on their faces, while the people who just wanted to watch a football game couldn't wait for it to be over so they could get back to celebrate in peace.
You knew Liv well, so it was no surprise when she started jumping up and down again, shouting "Yes!" repeatedly. You smile and let the couple have their moment before your best friend turns to you. "I can't believe you managed to hide this from me."
"I told you I was a good liar." You joke, then pull the two of them into a group hug. Now, today had two celebrations.
As the team headed back to their locker room and the crowd started to disperse, the three of you start heading back down Nelson Road to the car. You were lagging behind the couple and crowds of people around you made it harder and harder to keep up.
It's their special day anyway, you think, and once you manage to catch up to them, you say, "I'll find another way home! You guys enjoy yourselves,"
"You sure?" Frankie asks and you nod enthusiastically. The couple start walking to the car and you look around to find a shop to wait out the crowd in.
Luckily, there was a nice bakery on the other side of the road with a good number of people. You order a chocolate muffin and a caramel macchiato before settling down in one of the seats near the window. You decide to start booking a taxi now because judging by the crowd, it was going to take a few tries.
As expected, you managed to find a driver after twenty minutes. Most of the crowd had already left, so it would've been easy for you to find the car. Then, the driver canceled.
You went through that routine two more times till this point, where you were waiting outside for the fourth and final driver you booked. You were starting to regret letting Liv and Frankie go off on their own and promise that if they cancel again, you're walking.
When you hear someone call out your name, you sigh in relief till you realize that the map showed the taxi wasn't anywhere near Nelson Road yet. You turn to see Jamie Tartt peeking his head out of his car window. The look on his face is a mix of surprise and confusion.
Well, shit.
"Is that you?" His Mancunian accent catches you off guard after years of not visiting your childhood town.
"Hi, Jamie." Words you didn't expect to say ever again. You're not sure what else to say, especially since it's your first time seeing him since you were 19.
After a few more quiet moments, Jamie looks around the empty walkway before he asks, "You waiting for someone?"
"Yeah, I just," You glance back down at your phone to find the driver canceling on you once again. "Nope, the driver canceled for the fourth fucking time," you swear and instead of a sympathetic look from the footballer, he just laughs.
Your expression morphs from disappointment to judgment, while Jamie remarks, "Christ, is your rating that bad?"
You roll your eyes. "Fuck off, will you?" You may have said it harsher than you intended. Well, that's on him for joking around like nothing ever happened. Not just that, but you were clearly not in the mood for it, especially from him.
You watch the footballer's expression falter but he quickly bounces back. "Deserved that." In more ways than one, you think to yourself. "But I didn't mean it like that. I probably have a shittier rating than you do after the times I've vomited in a taxi."
That makes you crack a smile, though you hide it from Jamie. He didn't need any more reason to think it was fine to joke around like you were seventeen again.
"Well, it was nice seeing you again, Jamie." You move to turn around and start walking home when he calls out to you again.
"D'you wanna ride? You always hated exercise, even walking." Jamie offers.
"Bold of you to assume I haven't changed in half a decade." You try and keep a straight face when turning to him, but you think about it. You squint at the accuracy and sigh. "Even if you're right. Thanks,"
You head to the passenger side and get in the car, and when you do, you encode your address in the GPS. As you lean towards the console, you can't stop yourself from tensing up. This is the closest you've been to Jamie in years. After, you tuck your hands under your thighs — a nervous habit of yours since childhood — as the car starts heading off Nelson Road.
The footballer notices this action but decided not to say anything. The fact he was even able to get you to accept his offer was a miracle in and of itself. He didn't want to make you more uncomfortable than you already were. He was just glad to see you again, after everything.
Maybe he did come off a little strong earlier, and your response to his joke was warranted, but seeing you in a Richmond jersey — specifically his — brought him back to his teenage years, filled with happy memories with you. He almost completely forgot about how things actually ended between the two of you.
And when a Taylor Swift song starts playing in the car, you start to feel Jamie's eyes on you.
Nervous about his reason for staring and possibly crashing, you decide to ask, "What? Is there something on my face?" Your tone wasn't playful, but it wasn't hostile either. An apathetic sweet spot, you might call it, even if it's far from what you're actually feeling.
"No," Jamie answers quickly. "It's just... Taylor Swift," he nods towards the console. "You used to love her back then. Wouldn't let me get near the controls when a song of hers was playing, so you could sing along."
"Yeah," You start getting flashes of fond memories involving driving around town when you were bored on weekends, specifically, the time when Jamie officially got his license.
"Are we breaking the law?" You ask hesitantly, as you buckle your seatbelt. "You sure we're not gonna crash?"
"Hey! You're acting as if this is the first time I'm driving you." He protests and you shake your head.
"You picked me up from a failed date. We just drove home and even then, you almost drove off the road, didn't you?" You recount the memory.
Jamie scoffs. "In my defense, you asked me if I thought you were hot. Any guy would've lost control too!"
"Excuse me, I was very vulnerable that time because of stupid Tim. And, all I asked was if you thought I was attractive." You're practically gripping the seatbelt with your left hand, your knuckles turning white.
"Same thing," Your best friend rolls his eyes, but seeing as your nerves haven't subsided, he raises his right hand and promises, "I solemnly swear that I will not crash the car. If I do, (Y/N) will be permitted a lifetime of 'I told you so's,’ so help me God."
You try and act annoyed but you soon let out a chuckle. "Just drive the car, Jamie." As he backs out of the driveway, you turn on the radio, and just your luck, it's Taylor Swift's newest song.
"Christ," you hear Jamie mutter under his breath. Despite how he reacted, Jamie loved listening to you sing. Even if you only ever did it in front of him and your respective families. It always gets you into a good mood, even if you said it made you look goofy. He was just happy to see you like that.
You laugh at Jamie's supposed annoyance. "If you want me to calm down, you have to let me do this." You say, before breaking into song, matching the lyrics word for word.
You stop yourself from smiling at the memory when your chest starts to ache at the reminder of how things used to be. You quickly change the topic, pushing that flashback to the back of your mind. "I forgot to say, congrats on the promotion. It was a really good game, especially as a spectator."
"Yeah, thanks. The team really stepped up today," Jamie says, sounding like he's answering one of those after-match interview questions. It wasn't like before, when after every game, he'd recount every feeling and thought he had to you, mentioning even the smallest details like how blades of grass managed to get into his sock and he had to power through the inconvenience for the second half of the match.
"Thought you'd still be off celebrating with them. I mean, don't football teams usually go out for drinks after wins, especially promotions?" You point out, before turning to face Jamie for the first time. You realize how much he'd grown up since the last time you'd seen him.
He changed his hair, you note. Well, it was closer to what it was before he joined the league. You always cringed when you saw his spiked-up hair from last season and even more so when you would see pictures of his fully slicked-down hair when he went back to Manchester City. It was the same kind of hair he had when the two of you were eight because his mom was always too scared that the loose strands would get in his eyes and he'd get into an accident.
This suited him, but you think a middle part would be better. You get the urge to reach out and move his hair around just to see how it would look, but Jamie's response snaps you back to reality.
"Yeah, we do. We're meeting up at a pub later tonight, but everyone wanted to head home first." He explains, and you turn back to the road. Out of the corner of his eye, Jamie sees you nod at his answer.
There are a few moments of quiet silence before he finally asks. "Did you come to the game," to see me play? he almost adds before backtracking. "alone?"
You're slightly taken aback by the question, but when you remember how Jamie found you, — alone in the walkway, staring at your phone, — then it doesn't seem like such an obnoxious assumption.
"No, I went with my best friend and her boyfriend." Ten year old you would be heartbroken to hear you refer to someone else as your best friend, but that was the reality now. You explain your presence at the game, "He was planning to propose to her after the match, as long as you guys got promoted. So thanks for that."
"Oh, that was them?" He turns to face you as he stops at a red light, before expounding. "Dani and Sam saw it happen and mentioned it on the way back to the locker room. They were 'aww'ing the whole time."
"It was pretty cute," you add, smiling and remembering the feeling of witnessing it. "But honestly, I didn't really think it through 'cause then I would've had to third wheel them for dinner. Which isn't the first time, but newly engaged people can be so fucking horny."
You're not sure why you added that, but it causes Jamie to chuckle. "Guess you dodged a bullet there, yeah?"
"Yeah," you laugh as well until you remember you're supposed to be mad at Jamie. Your smile disappears quickly and you swallow the feeling.
Jamie watches your expression change, but he continues to drive until he finally has enough of it. This might be the last time he gets the chance to do it and he has been on a self-improvement kick these past few months. Might as well try and fix one of his oldest relationships. And if not fixed, at least improve it enough to let yourself laugh around him.
The car arrives in front of your building, but before you can leave, Jamie says your name. Softly, softer than his voice has been this whole ride, and you already know what's going to follow this.
"I just wanted to say I'm sorry for," Jamie pauses and swallows the lump in his throat. "That night. It was a real prick move, especially after I gho—"
"Jamie, can we not?" You interrupt him before you even comprehend the words coming out of your mouth. Jamie backs up slightly, taken aback by your statement, but he shuts his mouth.
You sigh and close your eyes for a second. You didn't realize how much harder it would be to actually confront him about it, despite your harshness towards him earlier for acting so chummy with you. Maybe Jamie was on to something, pretending as if nothing had changed. That you guys were just old friends who were catching up after ending on good terms.
And you thought you were ready. You've spent multiple nights imagining how it would be to hear him apologize, to talk about what an arse he was back then, and how he never meant to hurt you. You imagined slamming the door in his face, shutting him out, and hurting him in every way that he hurt you. But as you’re faced with it at this exact moment, the thought of going through all of that makes your chest heavy. Almost heavier than it was that night in the pub.
"Look, I'm sorry if I'm been weird this whole time." You start, shaking your head. "But you don't have to explain anything. Honestly. These past few years, I've just been trying to forget that night." And you. "Because if I did, then it wouldn't ruin all the memories we made as kids. So, let's just not talk about it, yeah?"
Jamie still seems to be processing your words, but you continue on and propose, "We can pretend the last time we saw each other was when I left for uni."
Dr. Sharon told Jamie that avoiding conflict will never actually solve it and he's tried to internalize that. That's part of the reason why he wanted to apologize. But at this point, if you didn't want to talk about it, he wasn't going to make you.
"Sure," he finally says and you feel your muscles relax. "If that's what you want."
Was it what you wanted? It was the easy way out, but easy wasn't always the best way. Then again, Jamie always brought out your less logical side, even after all this time. Maybe knowing that he was sorry was enough. And after the whole drive, you were starting to believe those articles that said Jamie Tartt was no longer the prick he was before.
"Okay then," you say. "Thanks for the ride. And uh, good night, Jamie." You smile at the footballer, a genuine one to try and convince him — and yourself — that all was well in the world again.
And maybe it was. At least, for now.
"Wait," You sense Jamie reaching out to you, but you turn before he can actually grasp at your shirt. "Could I have your new number?"
You hadn't actually changed your number since you were 15, but things seemed to be going well, so you decide not to mention it and type it into his phone.
"Thanks," Jamie flashes you a smile and your heart swells, just like it did when you two were kids. Maybe it was going to be okay.
"I guess, call me when you're missing an old friend," are your parting words with the footballer. You miss his reaction when you slide out of the car and walk into the building resisting the urge to look back at him.
A/N: yay, first chapter! just a warning, things are definitely not going to be resolved this easily. this denial thing is actually gonna make it so much worse later on but! right now, things are looking up for reader and jamie. also, you'll find out about that night in future chapters hehe. :) i hope you guys liked it and stay tuned for chapter two!
TAGLIST: @moonflowersandsparkles @faith-alons26 @rexorangecouny @aiyaiy @thegirlthatwantedtowrite @giggling-sewer-ginger @katdahlali @higherthanheroes @guccilongboard @alipap3 @rockchickrebel @ellietartt @shineforever19 @scaramou @rae4725 @oxxolovemelikeyoudooxxo (couldn't tag you for some reason?)
#jamie tartt#jamie tartt x reader#jamie tartt reader#ted lasso#jamie tartt fanfiction#jamie tartt imagine#jamie tartt fic#ted lasso fanfic#jamie tartt fanfic#jamie tartt fluff#jamie tartt angst#jamie tartt x f!reader#jamie tartt x female reader#it's nice to have a friend series
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You Found Me
Request: Hey can I get Han or Bang Chan for soulmate AU? Thanks
Prompt:
14) Soulmate AU
Whenever your soulmate sings, you can hear their voice singing in your head.
Pairing: Stray Kids Han x Reader
Genre: Fluff
.
"All the problems and lot of things," you sang quietly to yourself. Plopping another t-shirt onto the clean laundry pile, you picked up a pair of socks. "Make me fool nal geopjaengiro mandeureotji."
"Dude," your roommate, Sam coughed, looking up from her own laundry. "Did you just switch languages mid-sentence?"
Blinking up at her, you paused for a moment, trying to block the lyrics scrolling through your mind. "Uh yeah, I think so."
"You think so?" she asked, quirking a brow.
Shaking your head in an attempt to clear the brain fog, you dropped the remaining laundry you were holding. "I'm pretty sure they're Korean?"
"The words? The singer?"
"The soulmate," you nodded.
It had been nearly a month since you had first heard the voice. Normally when a young adult reported that they were hearing voices that weren't their own, it was cause for concern. In this instance, it had been seen as completely normal.
You had finally synced with your soulmate. And man, he was intent on singing.
"Is it always in Korean?" Sam asked.
"Not always," you hummed. "Sometimes it's in English. Occasionally it's babbling nonsense."
Your roommate could only lift her brows in response.
"Don't get me wrong!" you gasped. "It's a great voice. Just a lot of...eh...weird self-expression."
"Have you been trying to figure out who it is?"
"I've been keeping a journal," you nodded. "Songs I've heard and when I hear them."
"Excellent," she whispered, rubbing her hands together. "Get me the journal and my phone. Your girl got some googling to do."
.
"I can buy myself flowers," Han sang, pulling his bag over his shoulder. "Write my name in the saaaand."
"Didn't know what a big Miley fan you were, Hannie," Chan laughed, packing his own bag as the two of them were leaving the studio.
"My soulmate is," Han sighed. "And they've apparently really been going through it."
"Any idea who the lucky guy or gal is?"
"Well, it's not any of you," Han muttered. "So at least there's that."
"I know, Lee Know didn't talk for a week when he found out," Chan grinned.
Han rolled his eyes before laughing. "He sang loudly AT me for days. He just couldn't believe it."
"You guys are soulmates," Chan shrugged. "I guess it's just in a different way."
"Apparently," Han grumbled. "But I don't even know where to start. I've thought about buying a corkboard and red string."
"Conspiracies and detective work aside," Chan sighed. "I think it may be up to them to find you."
"But what if I'm being too discreet!" Han gasped.
"Not a word I would associate with you, mate."
"What makes you think I'm so easily found?" Han grumbled as they finally started to leave the building. "I'm mysterious!"
"Also not a word I would use, but we've literally been on tour for months."
"So maybe we're forced to sing a certain set of songs in a certain order every couple of days! That doesn't mean anything!" Han said, throwing his arms in the air.
"Do you even listen to yourself when you speak?" Chan laughed.
"How do I ever expect them to find me?" Han whined, completely disregarding his older member.
"Something tells me they will," Chan nodded. "And you'll likely be shocked and act like this conversation never happened."
..
"I've got him!" Sam gasped. "Well...kind of."
"What do you mean kind of?" you moaned, flopping on the couch beside them.
"Technically I've got eight options, but it's looking a lot better than almost 8 billion."
"How in the world did you narrow it down to eight options?" you muttered.
"Well," she began. "I took the list of songs you had been writing down, and I assume you noticed, there's a pattern."
"The same twenty or so songs showing up every day for like three months, yeah," you said, shaking your head. "They're going through something."
"Or they're performing concerts."
"I'm sorry, what?" you asked, lifting your brows.
"Stray Kids. Homie is a member of Stray Kids," Sam smiled matter-of-factly.
Of course, you knew who Stray Kids were. At this point they were 80% of the music that was floating around in your head. You had just assumed your soulmate was a superfan and had inadvertently made you one as well.
You narrowed your eyes, incapable of believing them. "How do you know it's not just a really dedicated person who's been following them to each tour date?"
"Across three continents?" your roommate lifted her brows. "Multiple cities that are hours and hours away from each other?"
"I meaaan," you hummed. "Wealthy people do exist in this world."
"Yeah," Sam nodded. "But the much more logical thought is-"
"That my soulmate is a Korean idol?" you coughed. "Do you realize how ridiculous you sound?"
"Well," she grinned again, tapping at their phone excitedly. "I guess there's only one way to find out."
...
Han leaned over the table, attempting to make eye contact with Chan for what had to have been the tenth time. Finally growing impatient with the older member, he started to smack the table.
All seven of his other members instantly turned in his direction, various expressions of curiosity and irritation on their faces.
"They're here," he nearly shrieked.
"Well, that sounded ominous," Felix muttered, turning back to the album he was signing.
"Who's where?" Chan asked, shaking his head. He looked apologetically up at the fan waiting to speak with him.
"My soulmate," Han whispered in a total non-whisper.
Chan furrowed his brows. "How do you know?"
"Every single song they've played during the signing," Han continued. "I've heard it."
"Uhhh..."Chan trailed, his face totally blank. "Yeah, we all have."
"No!" Han gasped, frustrated. "I mean, I've heard it with my own ears, but I've heard it without my ears too."
"Han, look-"
"I hear their voice," Han finally finished. "My own brain and then their voice. It's all very complicated."
Chan smirked. "Didn't I say they would find you?"
"I don't know how," Han muttered.
Rolling his eyes, Chan turned back to face the fan waiting for him.
....
You took a deep breath as you stepped onto the stage. You would be ushered into a seat directly across from every Stray Kids member momentarily, and this thought alone made you feel queasy.
When Sam had prepared a full trip to Korea with tickets for a fan sign event, you had hoped to go in with a better plan than what you two had agreed on. Awkwardly singing in front of every member was the only way she felt like you could narrow down the candidates. After five different heated discussions about it, you finally conceded to her points. Now was the time to suck it up and do the damn thing.
Taking a step forward, a staff member directed you to your first member, Bang Chan. You tried to keep your fluttering heart under control as you took your seat. It was difficult not to daydream about each boy when you had no idea which one would be yours. Smiling shyly at him, you prepared yourself for what you figured would be an inevitable let down.
"Hi, I'm Y/N," you smiled. "Nice to meet you."
"Nice to meet you too!" Chan grinned easily. He began to sign your album before looking up again.
You felt your heart skip a beat as his eyes met yours, but there was nothing beyond that. No spark, no lights, no birds singing Ave Maria.
Swallowing loudly, you launched into what still sounded like a terrible plan.
"Why do I keep getting attracted...jaseok gachi kkeullyeoga," you sang. "I cannot explain this reaction."
"Case 143?" Chan grinned, flipping to the page you had marked in your album. "Stuck in your head today?"
"Yes," you said breathlessly. "Has it been stuck in yours?"
Furrowing his brows, Chan shook his head. "I've actually had a new song we've been working on in my head most of the morning."
"Right," you said, gracefully accepting defeat. "You guys are working on a new album, right?"
"You didn't hear it from me," he smiled.
Nodding politely through the rest of the conversation, you tried to enjoy it as much as you could. You now knew that Chan wasn't your soulmate and that was okay. He was still a wonderful person that was more than worth talking to.
Up next was Felix. Settling into your seat, you could feel your heart begin to soften all over again. Felix was gorgeous and the instant wink he gave you was enough to halt your breathing. This had to be the worst otome game ever.
"I'm Y/N," you nodded. "It's nice to meet you."
"And you!" Felix hummed, busy signing your album. "How are you today?"
"I'm doing very well, thank you," you answered, already prepared to rip off the band aid. "I've had one of your songs stuck in my head all morning."
"Oh yeah? Which one?"
"Why do I keep getting attracted...jaseok gachi kkeullyeoga," you sang a little more confidently. "I cannot explain this reaction."
Felix looked up. His expression was amused but held no sign of recognition. You took a deep sigh before nodding to yourself. At this point, it was almost a relief to get this part over with.
"One, four, three," a voice to the left of Felix sounded both in front of you and independently in your head. "I love you."
Looking over with wide eyes, you made instant eye contact with the singer. Han. You felt like the wind had been knocked out of you and judging by his expression, he had felt the same.
"Oh, come on," Felix joked. "You'll have them in front of you in a minute. Don't steal my time with Y/N."
Han, obviously not listening, stood for a moment before sitting back down again. His eyes remained on yours as he reached across the table and took your hands. Slowly pulling you toward the empty seat in front of him, you thought you would burst into tears. The stupid plan had really worked.
"Yah!" Felix gasped, directing a glare at Han. Out of your periphery, you could see Chan smack his arm and shake his head. The leader had easily picked up on what was happening.
"You found me," Han said slowly, lifting his hand to touch your cheek, but halted his fingers from actually making contact. His handsome face was full of a wonder that set your head spinning. He acted like you were a mirage in front of him, something that was too good to be true.
"It took me awhile to figure out where to look," you admitted. It was suddenly difficult to catch your breath. Glancing to Han's still extended hand, you chose to lift your own and lace your fingers together.
Han looked to your entwined hands as if it was a new and exciting discovery. What a novel idea, to hold hands so easily with someone you're meant to be with forever. "Because I'm so mysterious right? And discreet?"
You grinned, feeling a warmth flood your face. "I wouldn't say that, no."
Han grinned as well, completely entranced. "I've heard your voice for weeks, but it sounds so amazing in person."
"Sorry," you said with a wince. "I know I'm not the best singer."
"Neither am I," he laughed.
"Yeah right!"
"Seriously! I would take hearing your voice over mine any day."
"Well," you said quietly. "Now I guess you're stuck hearing it."
"Not stuck," he said, shaking his head vehemently. "Stuck means I don't want to be here. But right now? There is no place I would rather be."
#han jisung#stray kids#skz#han#han x reader#han fanfic#han fluff#han soulmate au#jisung x reader#jisung fanfic#jisung fluff#jisung soulmate au#skz han#skz jisung#stray kids x reader#stray kids fanfic#stray kids fluff#stray kids soulmate au#skz fanfic
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Based on the lyrics that have been translated from the duet, I will do a mini analysis of where Stolitz are at in this episode and what it says about their relationship as a whole. The title of this song I assume is called When I see him tonight and it says a lot about where Stolas and Blitz are regarding their feelings.
Stolas loves Blitz dearly. He is singing about when he is with Blitz, he can hide the pain of his fucked up life behind a careless smiling front because he thinks that's what Blitz would want. He doesn't want to hear about his divorce. He isn't here to listen to him bare his soul but he just wants him to be with him through all the good and the bad. Stolas is coming to terms with the fact he loves Blitz but he knows he has to let him go. He feels like he is hurting Blitz by keeping him a prisoner in this arrangement and doesn't want to make it seem like he's a burden. He wants to give him the choice whether to stay or go but he knows if he does that, he'll lose him forever. He'll be alone without any love in his life and he thinks he'll die because of it just like Blitz did after the altercation at Ozzie's. He can't decide whether what he's doing is right or wrong but he wants to believe that he can still have this. That he can still have a sweet relationship with Blitz but he knows eventually it'll only fall apart because the only way Blitz can truly be set free is by giving him the crystal. Stolas thinks this is what's best. He wants to give him the decision to let go rather than set boundaries between them.
As for Blitz, he is the most naive out of the pair. He isn't really good with words and opening up about his feelings as he can't really say if their relationship is going strong. He wants to believe they are doing okay together but a part of him knows it's a complicated arrangement and can't bring himself to talk about the pain he may inflict on Stolas. So instead he buries it all away for sex because he thinks that's the only thing he wants. The only thing that will get his attention. To look his way, so to speak. He wants to believe that everything is going fine and he seems excited to see him again. He is singing about all the nasty things he's going to do to his owl prince during sex because he is intent on impressing Stolas because he thinks that by avoiding the subject of their feelings, they can be happy and not have to get themselves hurt. Blitz thinks this is not only the best for Stolas, but also himself because he likes where he stands in this relationship. He doesn't want to let go of this relationship and by indulging the bird in sex, he'll still have him.
The way they are singing also tells us a lot about their stance of their relationship. Blitz is rapping throughout the duet as he isn't really good with words. He gets himself hyped for this date by thinking of all the ways he'll fuck him as that's where he is at the most happiest. As for Stolas, he sings with a dramatic broadway grandure because this is the biggest decision of his life. He is about to let Blitz, the love of his life go and he can't decide whether he is doing what is best for them or himself. He loves Blitzø. That's why it pains him to make this decision. The song starts with him singing happily in the bath about how he's so excited to see him. Getting himself prepared clean and proper but when the thought of Blitz coming over settles in, he is scared shitless about screwing up with what they have as he is scared of leaving their relationship in tatters, hence the mess of his living room and the fridge. Blitz remains optimistic as he gets himself ready for a night of sex and pleasure because he knows that's what Stolas likes and where he is most good at when showing people he loves them/what he likes. He causes a stir, he shouts out from the rooftops that he is in love with Stolas. He announces it to the world because he wants to share his happiness with everyone who cares to hear it. He feels happy with Stolas and he wants nothing to ever change.
So here's my analysis of the Full Moon duet and Stolitz heading into the new episodes as a whole. Do I believe they will fall apart? Probably. Will they reconcile? Most definitely. But if I missed anything, feel free to add more.
Link to original post - https://www.tumblr.com/visemes/748954138058113024/stolitz-duet-lyrics?source=share
#helluva boss#stolitz#blitzo#stolas#blitzo helluva boss#stolas helluva boss#stolitz duet#character analysis#full moon#i ramble a lot but this ship has a lot of angst#i am not ready for the new episodes to drop
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You Matter To Me
Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Female Reader
Summary: This is based on the song “You Matter To Me” from Waitress the Musical. It’s not a replica of what happens in the play, but the words in the song. Song lyrics are in italics.
Warnings: Slight Angst, Sad Lonely Reader, Fluff
A/N: I’ve wanted to rewrite this fic for awhile. The story is the same, but I didn’t like how I did it the first time. I hope you all enjoy it even more than before. Please know that my stories were no beta’d or edited, so I apologize for any grammar mistakes or misspellings. Also please note again I am rewriting most if not all of my masterlist, so if you read my stories, be prepared cause most of them are going to be fixed if they haven’t already lol.
I can find the whole meaning of life in those sad eyes
They see things you never quite say, but I hear
Come out of hiding, I’m right here beside you
and I’ll stay there as long as you let me
You’re in your living room of your small one bedroom apartment, slow dancing with him. He holds you close and sings softly into your ear as you release a sigh of contentment. You never in a million years thought that you could ever find the happiness you’re currently engulfed in. People assume that being the only child of the rich and famous (your dads name), your life is set and happiness is a given. You know for a fact that it's not true, as you purposely ran away from the "rich kid" life the moment you were able to.
Your parents always treated more like a burden then their child. You were practically raised by nannies because they didn't want to give up the partying lifestyle. They never once celebrated the day you were born, always going out with friends on trips or something instead. When they were home, you were never allowed to make any noise or be a normal kid because they considered that a disturbance.
As you got older, you started to resent your life. Any "friends" you made didn't really care about you at all. They wanted to be seen with the daughter of the famous Y/F/N, the richest man in the country. They knew if the paparazzi saw them with you, they would be on Page Six and be set. You never wanted to be the center of attention. It never interested you, but you also didn't want to be used. You found yourself feeling very lonely all the time, even in a crowded room.
Eventually, when you were old enough, you ran away from that life. You wanted as much separation as possible. Your parents wouldn't care anyway, so you didn't move far. You found yourself in the middle of Brooklyn working as a waitress as a small diner. It didn't pay much, but it helped you afford your tiny shoebox apartment that you loved and food. You felt like you were finally free and happy. You started going out more, and even made some real friends who liked you for your personality, rather your wealth, since you no longer had any.
Once night you were out with some friends and were sitting at a bar. Nursing your cranberry vodka, you kept thinking how much your life has improved, and how much happier you were without your parents money. You suddenly saw someone sit next to you and you looked over with a smile. You would lie if you said he wasn't the most handsome man you have ever seen. He had short brown hair, the bluest eyes imaginable, and a strong jawline partially hidden under some scruff. When he looked at you and smiled, your heart immediately fluttered.
Because you matter to me
Simple and plain and not much to ask from somebody
You matter to me, I promise you do, you matter too
I promise you do, you’ll see
You matter to me
You found yourself falling into easy conversation with the handsome man, whose name was Bucky. You learned he was a mechanic who lived in the same neighborhood as you, and that he grew up in Brooklyn to middle class parents and knew the value of hard work. It was refreshing to say the least. Listening to how his parents supported him and his siblings with their aspirations and dreams, no matter what they were. You were jealous, because your parents couldn't give a damn about you. Hell they never even tried to find you when you left. Bucky tried to ask about your life, but you weren't ready to hash that out, so you just quickly changed the subject. He smiled and decided to go with it.
You and Bucky start to hangout more often and you find yourself falling... hard. He would take you on little dates around Brooklyn, and you both would stay out late just talking about things. You wanted to tell him about your past, but you were scared it would scare him away. When he wanted to treat you to a fancy restaurant in Manhattan that you know your parents frequent, you immediately decline. You felt it was time to finally tell him the truth about yourself. Bucky sat with you, holding your hand as you told him all about your upbringing and your thoughts and feelings about your parents. You were in awe when you were done he pulled you to him and kissed you.
"I can't imagine how hard that much have been for you," he said with no sarcasm.
You then and there that he actually cared about you and your feelings. He didn't think you were some spoiled brat that didn't get enough attention. He knew money was not important to you, and that all you've ever longed for was to be loved. He wanted to be the one to show you the love you've always deserved, and hopefully you can let him in. And maybe love him just as much in return.
It’s addictive the minute you let yourself think
The things that I say, just might matter to someone,
All of this time I’ve been keeping my mind on the running away
For the first time I think I’d consider the stay.
At first you were worried when Bucky asked you to move in with him. Yes, you had been dating for over a year, and yes you cared for him with ever fiber of your being, but you still had hesitations when he said it back. You kept telling yourself he really loved you and to let him in, but it was harder to do than you realized. Bucky was always patient and understanding. He allowed you to take your time and really think about it with no pressure. But you wanted to let him in so bad. He's been so good to you, so you finally agree to move in.
It took some time for you to get used to Bucky constantly wanting to take care of you. You've always taken care of yourself, so to have him wanting to do that was surprising. He constantly tells you how much you mean to him, but you still find it hard to believe sometimes. He buys you flowers every week, takes you on small romantic trips, and cooks you dinners. Your walls slowly start crumbling little by little as you let him in, because you know you are as much in love with him, as he seems to be with you. Every day when you come home from work, he asks about your day, and generally cares. He pays attention to every word you say, he laughs at jokes you make, gets irritated when hearing about stupid customers, or holds you as you cry after a hard frustrating day. He's there every time you need him, and even when you don’t.
You are there for him just as much, knowing that a true relationship means you both have to give the same amount. As time goes on, your walls around your heart are gone, and you've completely given your heart to Bucky. He and his family have welcomed you with open arms, and you never felt as loved and accepted as you do with him. When he dropped to one knee to ask you to be his wife, you didn't hesitate for a second before saying yes, because there was no other answer.
Because you matter to me
Simple and plain and not much to ask from somebody
You matter to me, I promise you do, you matter too
I promise you do, you’ll see
You matter to me
You look up at your fiancee and smile before giving him a soft kiss. You then look at the small diamond on your finger with so much happiness. Bucky apologized it wasn't bigger, but you told him, and you meant it, that you wouldn't want anything more than what he has given you. Your life is perfect as long as you have him, and are in his arms. Bucky was everything you didn’t know you needed in your life.
For the first time, you feel loved and cherished. You feel like you finally matter to someone. Not just someone, Bucky Barnes, the man you love and are going to spend the rest of your life with.
--
Bucky is so fucking amazing in this story. I love him so much! Feedback is appreciated! Also if you wish to be apart of my new taglist, please let me know.
Permanent Taglist: @rebekahdawkins @marajade1974 @missvelvetsstuff @phillygirl77 @pattiemac1 @winterslove1917 @vampire7595
#bucky#Bucky Barnes#james bucky barnes#james buchanan barnes#Bucky angst#bucky and reader#bucky x reader#bucky x you#bucky x y/n#bucky barnes x reader#bucky barnes au#bucky barnes fanfiction#bucky barnes angst#bucky fluff#bucky barnes fluff#slight angst#fluff#you matter to me
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youtube
Suicide
If when she tries to run away / And he calls her back, she comes / If there's a next time, he's okay / Cause she's under both his thumbs
She'll limp along to his side / Singing a song of ruin, I'd / Bet he says nothin' doin' / I'd, I'd call it suicide
This is likely one of the first songs Paul ever wrote. It predates Rock 'n Roll washing up onto the Mersey shores and the tingles that started going up and down Paul's spine. Not yet acquainted with his "confidante", Paul's earliest compositions were done instead on his home piano.
This particular tune seems to have come about around Paul's fourteenth birthday, in mid-1956. It is not known how this song sounded at its genesis: did it already have the lyrics, or was it like the contemporaneous "When I'm Sixty-Four", for which he originally had only the tune?
We hear "Suicide" for the first time in the Get Back sessions, with complete lyrics and John joining in right from the first verse. From Paul's comments on the song, it does seem like he had the lyrics in mind from the get-go:
That was a song I’d had forever, since I was about 16. I had my Dad’s old piano at home, that I used to tinker about on when there was no-one in the house. And my feelings were, then, that if you were ever going to be a songwriter, the height of it all was Sinatra. That would be the greatest stuff that you could do, really a little bit before rock ‘n’ roll, so you were thinking of standards and things. So around that time I wrote “When I’m 64” and this other thing. I thought it would be a bit of a Rat Pack, smoochy, with words like “When she tries to, run away, uh-huh…” Boom! And stabs from the band, you know.
— Paul McCartney, in the McCartney - Archive Collection (2011) liner notes.
I'm curious about the timing because, in usual McCartney fashion, we have quite dark lyrics being camouflaged by a jaunty little tune (à la "Maxwell Silver Hammer", "Another Day", etc.) And they are made even darker if they were written by a fourteen-year-old boy.
When I first heard of this song, I assumed, based on the title, that it'd been written after Mary's death. So I was quite surprised when I saw its origin dated to potentially even earlier than that (although I don't really know what information these estimations are based on).
Regardless of the exact date of origin, this song had been on my mind since I heard it brought up in @anotherkindofmindpod's Fine Tuning: Ep 2 Shoulder to Shoulder. Together with Ep 4 Shells & Barriers and the wonderful analyses that emerged from it, I've been wondering about what influenced teenage Paul to write a song about a woman trying (and failing) to escape an abusive marriage. From @bidisasterhawkeye's contribution to the aforementioned post:
For those unaware, Paul's mother had a quite tragic background. The second of four children, her younger sister Agnes died at age two (cause unknown) when Mary was around eight years old. When Mary was ten, her mother died giving birth to another baby girl (who also died). At that point, Mary's older brother left their home in Liverpool to join the army and Mary's father took Mary and her toddler brother, Bill, back to his home country of Ireland.
In Ireland, they apparently lived in extreme poverty as Mary's father tried and failed to become a farmer. Ten year old Mary was apparently not enrolled in school there because she was given the role of homemaker and mother to her baby brother. When Mary was around 13, her father went to Liverpool and acquired a second wife with children of her own, and this new stepmother was apparently "cruel" enough that Mary ran away at age 14 (as did Bill later).
I might have seen it mentioned somewhere around here recently (please let me know if you know where!), but it's curious that Paul wrote about women running away in "Suicide" and "She's Leaving Home", when his own teenage mother went through the same. The latter song seems to apply better to Mary's situation at fourteen. Whose story is Paul telling in "Suicide"?
Maybe it's not that deep, and "Suicide" is indeed only a joke song. Paul certainly seems to want us to believe that:
It was a real early song of mine, and I used to do it as a joke, really. […] So I never did anything with it but around the time of McCartney, I was just goofing around on piano and at the end of one of the takes there was a little bit of tape left, so I just did it and didn’t think to use it because it was Rat Pack, tongue in cheek. But I used that little fragment at the end of one of the tracks, ‘Glasses’.
Haha, good ol' Paul, goofing around with a meaningless little tune called "Suicide" right around the same time stuff like this was happening:
I was going through a bad time, what I suspect was almost a nervous breakdown. I remember lying awake at night shaking, which has not happened to me since. One night I'd been asleep and awoke and I couldn't lift my head off the pillow. My head was down in the pillow, I thought, Jesus, if I don't do this I'll suffocate. I remember hardly having the energy to pull myself up, but with a great struggle I pulled my head up and lay on my back and thought, That was a bit near! I just couldn't do anything. I had so much in me that I couldn't express and it was just very nervy times, very very difficult.
— Paul McCartney, in Barry Miles' Many Years From Now (1997).
I'll leave further ruminations on the emotional implications of "Suicide" to your discretion. Or we can take a page out of Lewisohn's book and simply conclude:
But though the words wanted work (and didn’t get it), ["Suicide"] was a charming little tune, a dance-band piece with a dash of modernity, light, engaging and original … quite exceptional for a first attempt by a boy on the cusp of 14.
#Suicide#Paul McCartney#The Beatles#Mother Mary McCartney#jim mccartney#when you were young and your heart was an open book#every day I don't want to get up get out of my bed#1956#1969#1970#meta#my stuff
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Headcanon per sscoded number (1 to 100):
Sasuke uses his sharingan to learn regular chores (e.g. back massage).
Sakura looks at the ring that Sasuke gave her whenever she misses him.
Sasuke likes to be bathed by Sakura.
Sasuke falls asleep instantly when he's with Sakura.
Sasuke doesn't want to die in a battle because it will make Sakura sad again.
Sakura once told Sasuke that he can touch him anywhere and anytime and he takes it literally.
Sasuke visits Itachi's grave whenever he has free time and updates him about his own family.
Sakura initiated their first kiss absentmindedly.
Sakura still admires Sasuke's face that she stares at it when they sleep.
Sasuke loves slurping Sakura's tits.
Sasuke will always talk about Sakura and Sarada's strengths.
Sasuke loves hugs and cuddles.
Sarada studies Sasuke's hobbies so they can spend time together doing them.
If Sasuke likes something, Sakura will still wear it even if it causes her discomfort.
Sasuke believes that Sarada would love kawaii tomato more instead of kawaii peanut.
Sakura makes bitter chocolates for Sasuke for Valentines Day because he dislikes sweets.
Sasuke pretends to be sick when he wants attention and Sakura is well aware that he's faking it but will still give in.
Sasuke, as a touch-deprived person, likes being touched by Sakura very much.
Sasuke doesn't say I love you to his girls directly but has a way of letting them know via letters.
Sakura was not good at cooking at first but promised herself to be better for Sasuke and their future family.
They practice taijutsu together, which always ends up in a steamy fight.
Sasuke tried many times to create a ring for Sakura but failed, so he was surprised when he made a perfect one on the spot.
Sasuke loves tongue kissing.
Sakura always gives the best part of food to Sasuke (including her favorites).
Sasuke will never sing or dance unless it's for his wife or daughter.
Sasuke marks a dimension if it's beautiful enough for his family to have a vacation.
Sakura buys books for Sasuke and puts notes or reminders in random pages.
Sasuke makes sentimental gifts from his travels for Sakura.
Sakura asked Sai to create a photo album for Sasuke's younger years because he didn't have many photos.
Sakura loves making Sasuke moan.
Sakura sends song lyrics (oftentimes her favorite at the moment) to Sasuke when he's traveling alone.
Sakura hates it when she gets sick but loves it at the same time because Sasuke takes care of her.
Sasuke asked Aoda to take care of Sakura (and their daughter eventually).
Sakura's infinite tsukuyomi dream is to be with Sasuke and have their own family while Sasuke's dream is to have his family back (technically they're both living their dream).
Sakura will do something for Sasuke even if she hates it (e.g. bringing a bag).
Sarada asks Sasuke to buy her things from his travels and he complies all the time.
When there's an event that Sakura or Sarada wants to attend, Sasuke makes it a point to go home for it.
Sasuke has low tolerance to alcohol but even Sakura can't tend to him when he's wasted because in his head, his wife (unaware that Sakura is the one taking care of him) will get jealous.
Sasuke personally thanks anyone who has helped Sarada (regardless if it's small or big favor).
Sasuke loves to tease his wife by sending cropped pictures.
Sasuke and Sakura like to have evening tea outside their house and talk about random stuff.
Sakura's birthday present to Sasuke is coitus, so a year after that, they have Sarada.
Sarada loves giving sentimental and well thought-out gifts to Sasuke.
Like a normal couple, Sakura would ask Sasuke silly questions and he would respond to her with sillier answers just to make her happy.
For the first time after a long time, someone takes care of Sasuke from his clothes to paperwork, which he's truly grateful for.
Sakura didn't want to assume that they're together officially because they had no label but to Sasuke they're already a couple when they traveled together.
The ninja ranking is a running joke in the Uchiha household because they have a jonin, chunin, and genin in the family.
Sakura was worried that their baby will take after her (i.e. no kekkei genkai) but Sasuke assured her that it's fine if ever that happens.
Sasuke doesn't like it when guys (like patients) give Sakura random gifts, so he destroys them and replaces them with the same kind that has a huge Uchiha crest.
When Sakura and Sarada go shopping, they find themselves buying more things for Sasuke.
Sakura had odd cravings during her pregnancy and Sasuke made/bought them regardless of the time.
Sakura makes the best bento (i.e. complete meal with all his faves) for Sasuke's travels.
Sasuke and Sakura's favorite sleeping positions are anything intimate or any position that touches the other person's body.
Sasuke and Sakura have tried many sex positions and enjoy learning new ones.
Sasuke didn't ask Sakura to come with him for his atonement journey for the 2nd time because he automatically assumed she's coming with him.
Sasuke likes doing husband and dad duties when he's home.
It was unclear to Sasuke what he was trying to achieve in his atonement journey at first until he realized that he needed to forgive himself. ||| Sasuke hates it when people downplays Sakura's abilities. [Yes there are two sscoded no 57 because I'm dumb]
Sasuke missed the fun when he was a kid because all he did was train, so Sakura and Sarada try their best to heal his inner child.
Sasuke sneaks food into Sakura's office when he feels she doesn't eat on time.
Sarada gets pranked by her parents every once in a while.
Sasuke is very clingy when he's alone with Sakura.
Sakura always compliments Sasuke and praises him to other people regardless if he's around or not.
Sasuke rarely compliments anyone but he's very generous with his commendations when it comes to Sakura.
Sakura wanted to be put under genjutsu (like what Itachi did to Izumi) when they get older but realized it's unfair for Sasuke to be left alone.
Even if he's a bit inhibited because of his left arm, Sasuke likes to build training equipment for Sarada.
Sasuke enjoys any form of bonding (e.g. listening to their stories, watching them sleep, etc) with his girls.
Sakura tries to be a wife and a mom as soon as she leaves the hospital but Sasuke assures her that it's okay to deal with whatever's bothering her (i.e. unfinished work) even if she's home.
Sasuke always finds his clothes full of pink hair (even the inner part because he invites Sakura into his cloak when she's cold).
When Sasuke and Sakura traveled together, he started getting hardons often when she got too close.
Sasuke was bothered that his wife's back hurt from carrying their baby all night and that Sarada cried like she was hurting, so he learned how to cradle her with one arm.
Sarada didn't know that every girl in the village liked her dad when he was young, so she's surprised whenever she sees women bother/flirt with him.
In his atonement journey, Sasuke realized that he has regrets when he left the village when Sakura tried to prevent him from going.
Sakura and Sarada do everyday things (e.g. peeling shrimp, cutting his steak, etc) that are difficult for Sasuke to do.
Sarada has seen her parents do the cliché sweet TV/drama moments of couples many times.
Sakura makes Sasuke use facial and body cream for his protection and wellness and Sasuke follows even if he hates sticky things.
No matter how many times Sarada has pranked Sasuke about the lipstick stain on his mouth, she still gets him and he would always try to wipe it away.
When Sasuke got back from his journey, he visited and stayed with Sakura for the night and nobody in the village knew.
Sasuke would do anything (like eating his most hated food, natto) to impress Sakura's parents.
Sarada thought that it's only her dad that had fangirls when he was young until she found out that Naruto, Rock Lee, and others had a crush on her mom too.
Sarada was with Sasuke when she had her first menstrual period and they both panicked.
Enemies don't take Sarada seriously because she's cute and looks nerdy until she uses the abilities she inherited from her parents.
Sakura plans trips for their family whenever her husband is available but Sasuke knows that she is very tired from work, so sometimes they just stay at home and cuddle.
Sasuke and Sakura have been caught doing the deed many times and Sasuke just erases the memory of whoever saw them.
Sakura would send random lyrics to Sasuke via a hawk whenever she misses him.
Sasuke wants to help with the grocery but he always ends up buying too many or too little of something.
Sasuke as a dad is very proud of Sarada's achievements but he keeps it to himself and celebrates silently.
Sasuke and Sakura found a way to communicate using codes.
Whenever people praise Sarada's skills, Sakura is quick to say it's because of her Uchiha blood but Sasuke thinks it's because she takes after Sakura.
Sasuke and Sarada bond over books.
Sasuke makes the simplest passwords which makes Sarada frustrated, only to find out her mom is the same.
Sakura rarely gets jealous but sometimes she does and when Sasuke feels it, he assures her that there's nothing to be jealous about.
Sarada couldn't imagine Sasuke being chatty with anyone including Sakura until she heard them talk about random things for hours.
Sasuke is awful at surprises because it's so obvious when he's taking notes about his girls' likes and wishes.
When Sasuke says, "you forgot something," Sakura assumes it's a kiss but usually it's something else.
Sasuke has seen Sakura's memory when he was away (i.e. her fight against Sasori, healing Kankuro, etc) using his sharingan and became prouder of her.
Sasuke wants to make it up to Sarada, so whenever she wants to spend time with him, he makes sure to cancel whatever previous plan he has.
Sasuke had separation anxiety when he had to leave his family and the only thing that kept him going is the letters he got from Sakura.
When Sasuke has a mission in a new location, he checks it out for any medical advancement to share info with his wife.
Sasuke will do any of Sarada's requests including the cringiest things (like singing).
Sasuke proposed many times and erased almost all of them from Sakura's memory because he wanted it to be perfect.
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Anonymous: Howdy~may I request the RE8 ladies with a reader who can play the acoustic guitar and sings a bit, but their shy about it and gets really flustered and embarrassed when they are found out :)) thank you ╰(*´︶`*)╯♡
I love it! Playing guitar for your girl? Brings back a lot of fond memories for me. Let’s get into it!
Alcina:
The song she catches you playing: All of Me - Django Reinhardt (Check out Django’s solo at 0:42 seconds! Perfection!!!)
Alcina used to be a Jazz singer. She knows a lot of the standards because she needed to learn them and take requests.
She is delighted to hear All of Me as she strolls through the hallways of the castle one day.
She assumed that someone was playing a recording, so she walks into the parlor to investigate.
What she did not expect to see was you playing the song and improvising on guitar! She is stunned.
She waits for you to finish and then softly claps.
You startle and turn around. You blush at seeing Alcina.
“You’ve been holding out on me, draga.” She grins and walks over to where you are. You are so bashful and hide your face on Alcina’s leg.
“How about a duet sometime, Y/N.” She chuckles as she rubs your back.
You groan and bury your face more in total embarrassment.
Donna:
The song she catches you playing: Donna - Ritchie Valens (Yes, the perfect theme song for Donna T^T Actually, I’ve been thinking about how to incorporate this particular song into one of my works for a little bit of time, so this is a good excuse! Angie by the Stones would be funny too XD)
Donna loves music. When she hears singing upstairs, she goes to investigate the lovely sound.
Donna gets to the top of the stairs and realizes it’s you who’s singing and playing guitar. She is blushing like mad as she goes closer and listens.
When she catches a particular line, she literally almost swoons from the sound of your voice.
“‘Cause I love my girl. Donna, where can you be? Where can you be?” You sing.
Donna is so giddy as you finish, but she feels like that was a special moment she wasn’t supposed to hear. She decides to leave it be for now.
Later at dinner, she calmly tells you how much she enjoyed your singing. “You have such a beautiful voice, cara mia. Maybe you’ll let me sit in on your concert next time.” She says.
You almost choke on your food knowing that Donna heard you.
Miranda:
The song she catches you playing: Wish you Were Here - Pink Floyd (This song is so tragic. Syd Barett, the former frontman for Pink Floyd, was suffering from a mental breakdown and drug addiction. Roger Waters wrote this song about how he had to quit the band. I just feel like Miranda could relate to the song and the haunting lyrics.)
Miranda has never heard you sing or play music. She is quite surprised and impressed by your talent when she hears you one day.
The poignant lyrics of the song bring her to tears as she listens just behind you. She thinks of Eva as you pour your heart into your singing.
“Running over the same old ground. What have we found? The same old fears, wish you were here.” You sing. If you’ve ever lost somebody close, this song hits different.
As you finish, Miranda clears her throat and you jump.
She is teary-eyed as she walks over and places a soft kiss on your lips. “That was beautiful, Y/N.” She praises.
Your cheeks turn bright red. You feel incredibly bashful now that you know she heard you.
Bela:
The song she catches you playing: More than Words - Extreme (Basically, a required song when talking acoustic guitar. It’s perfect for Bela.)
Bela loves to listen to music and she plays piano.
Bela finds the ability to create music very attractive in a partner.
When she catches you playing guitar in her room by yourself, she hides herself so she can listen uninterrupted.
“Hold me close, don’t ever let me go. More than words is all I ever needed you to show. Then you wouldn’t have to say that you love me 'cause I’d already know.”
The lyrics make Bela’s heart flutter. She wonders if you’re thinking about her as you sing this.
As you finish, Bela can’t help herself. “Lovely, Y/N.” She compliments.
You jump and look at Bela. “Uh, you heard that?” You say with wide eyes. You hope you didn’t make a complete fool of yourself.
“I did. It was perfect, Y/N.” She says and walks over to give you a kiss on the lips.
Cassandra:
The song she catches you playing: Everlong - Foo Fighters (Acoustic version. Rip Taylor Hawkins.)
Cass likes louder genres of music, but not full out metal or other similar styles.
You suggested that she try to listen to the Foo Fighters. They’re now one of her favorite bands.
Thinking about simpler times, you decide to jam out to Everlong.
Cass comes into her bedroom to see you really getting into the song. She recognizes it instantly and smiles. She’s so happy you’ve shared your tastes in music with her. It makes her feel an even deeper bond with you.
As the song comes to an end, Cass goes over and hugs you from behind.
“You are quite talented, darling.” She laughs and kisses the top of your head.
Your face is so red and you laugh nervously.
Daniela:
The song she catches you playing: All My Loving - The Beatles (She’s from the 1950’s. I’m convinced that she would have been a huge fan of the Beatles by the time they hit it big in 1964. She probably would have cried like those hysterical women at concerts if she got to see them perform live.)
Dani loves to listen to romantic songs. Big surprise, right?
She catches you playing guitar in one of the more secluded areas of the castle one day.
She just about melts. You play guitar and sing? It’s so attractive and alluring to her.
“All my loving I will send to you. All my loving, darling I’ll be true.” You sing.
Dani can’t help but call out. “I’ll be true too, baby!”
You startle at Dani’s sudden, and loud as hell, outburst.
She comes over to place many kisses on your face and drags you back to her room so you can play the song again from the beginning.
Now, she expects you to sing to her every day. You don’t mind, though.
Masterlist
#re8#re8 village#alcina dimitrescu#lady dimitrescu#alcina dimitrescu x reader#alcina dimitrescu x y/n#lady dimitrescu x reader#lady dimitrescu x y/n#cassandra dimitrescu#re8 shitpost#y/n is stupid#re8 incorrect quotes#bela dimitrescu#daniela dimitrescu#mother miranda#mother miranda x reader#donna beneviento x reader#bela dimitrescu x reader#cassandra dimitrescu x reader#daniela dimitrescu x reader
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good morning. hibe released a note saying that BTS renewed their contract, and even made a donation to the Unicef fund, however, when reading the note I realized that there is no extension date for the current contract, considering that the current one runs until 2025, and the note says exactly the same date. On the other hand, there are rumors that BTS has separated, there is a probable unrequited feeling of a member, who is supposedly part of the other ship, for JM, which has caused discomfort and dissatisfaction among the members and making this continuity impossible. I don't have concrete facts, but I analyzed some facts, including the visible discomfort of the hug between JM and Tae, at the launch of the latter's MV. This became clear, putting together the facts and JM's song that talks about breach of trust among other evidence, I would like to know your opinion on this. grateful
Hello @nut2019. I will give you my 2 cents on what you asked me.
Let's start with the contracts.
They have been renewed. Period.
There would not have announced it if this was not in the bag. RM would not have posted about it if it wasn't a done deal.
Well, the members that haven't enlisted yet have signed them, meaning RM, Suga, Tae, JM and JK.
Jin and Hobi can't sign at the moment given they are in the army, but again, this announcement wouldn't have been released if it was not a given they will sign as soon as they are released.
The current contracts are until end of 2024. These new contracts will come into effect starting 2025.
We are not given the deets about their content nor length, other than it was approved by the company board (which means there were terms there that needed special approval - this could be monetary but also have to do with freedoms given to them, like total creative independence and no company veto powers over their music or content - not me saying I know what is in the contracts, just mentioning several options that may need special approval).
Like I said, there is an extension start date - 2025. No end date. I am assuming they aren't releasing more info a. because there are still 2 members that need to sign, and b. just like their previous contracts, their contents will not be divulged.
Just answered an ask about rumours.
No rumours here.
I will just say one thing about the whole disbandment.
Bull.
As in bullshit.
How these rumours start and who spreads them (well, solos and antis)... but why don't you listen to the members? Why choose to listen to these utters of nonsense when you have every single one of them saying they can't wait to get back together? That the plan is to get back in 2025. That they want to be together on stage together. Each and every one of them. With all the success of their solo paths, they still want and even need that connection and each other's presence together on stage. And now you even have RM posting about it as well, like the announcement wasn't enough.
Listen to them, not to some unsubstantiated rumours started by people that have agendas that have nothing to do with the 7 members best interests.
As for your hints about Tae, man is in a relationship. Not with JK. Not with JM. Ooh, her name does start with a J though.
Anyway, the drama people are looking for, being bored and all with no actual BTS content as of late, yeah, it's not happening.
And Face off, btw, not about Tae. Read the lyrics. Not a break up. Not about JK. Not about Tae. These men, they do have other friend circles outside of BTS. Friend/s that might have used and hurt JM, you know. Fame comes at a price. And growing up you at times discover that not everyone that calls himself your friend is there for you and not their own selfish reasons (latching on to fame and money is a thing you know). Sadly, JM most likely learnt that the hard way.
As for that hug at Music bank. Won't deny it felt awkward. But there are many other possible explanations as to why, and definitely not to do with any kind of non existent romantic triangle.
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i absolutely agree with the idea that muu’s status from queen bee in school to bullying victim was because of her being gay. ive seen alot of people talk about how muu went from rich popular girl to the target of harassment but nobodys given like an actual reason why they thinks such an extreme shift happened? high schoolers can backstab their friends and whatnot but usually theres not such an extreme 180 shift from ‘most popular girl’ to target of bullying and harassment without SOME kind of explanation, and ive not seen any explanations of theories for how rei wouldve been able to convince muu’s friends to turn on her when rei clearly wasnt someone they cared for the opinion of. i really cant look at that shift unless it was some kind of extreme thing such as muu being outed as a lesbian to her school, and her friends turning on her out of homophobic disgust which would in their mind justify the absolute shift in their behavior to her. its maybe a stretch since its not really hinted at in the MVs or voice dramas but the idea of muu’s crush on rei being outed and serving as the primary event that shifted muu’s social status is, to me, the most logical and explanation thematically relevant conclusion
i dont think muu being gay was the "main" cause of muu being bullied- theres a lot of stuff that implies that rei flipped the hourglass on her because she got tired of muu's "queen game".
the "bees" here are feeding muu larvae- assumably the same type of bug that muu is, due to the green "honey" that spills out of her chrysalis when she hatches. shes eating her young! insects resort to "filial cannibalism" like this when theres a shortage of food, bees specifically do it when theres not enough food to feed the young either- so they just end up selecting an "older" brood to survive and use the younger ones as a food source in order for more bees to survive. the best idea i can absorb from this is that muu's "bees" feed her "larvae" (underclassmen? people to bully in general?) so she can "survive"- aka inflict hurt onto others so she doesnt have to deal with her own hurt. hurt people hurt people or whatever.
this girl gets shattered for failing to feed muu "larvae"- the lyrics here are "if you want to betray from jealousy, you know whats going to happen ON YOU". keep that in mind. anyways. we know that muu views relationships as entirely transactional, once someone stops "benefiting" her she stops caring (see her timeline interactions with the other prisoners). once someone stops feeding her "larvae", they no longer have a use to her.
whats interesting about that "shattering" though- is that this means the bees are fake. they arent really her friends. rather this means she didnt view them as "friends" or THEY didnt view HER as a friend. could be either. both even. "fake friends". i feel she definitely THOUGHT they were "friends" though, from this photo in after pain.
she dances on the shattered pieces of her "friends", and her other "friends" join her as well.
there was one friend she couldnt "shatter", though. that's rei.
when rei walks in on her dancing, the lyrics from earlier when she shattered the other girl repeats- "if you want to betray from jealousy, you know whats going to happen ON YOU", and both her gaze and her friends gazes turn onto rei. rei became a victim of muu's bullying.
this is rei's chalkboard! this is rei getting bullied. we can tell because its likely rei's desk that has the flowers on them- muu's desk is beside the one with the flowers on it (based on the angle of the sunlight at least), so this isn't muu's chalkboard.
this is when rei "flips the hourglass". she gets tired of muu's bullying, of her "queen game", and exposes muu for her cycle- eating the "young" and "shattering" anyone who cant "feed" her, what she walked in on. theres a message on rei's chalkboard here that might corroborate to that, fuuta kajiyama style.
she brought muu's "queen game" to light, and muu's "friends" turned on her for that, likely because they thought muu would just "shatter" them as well.
(translations provided here)
muu begins to drown in the same "honey" of the "larvae" that she was fed and metamorphosed from- she's now experiencing the same pain that she kept inflicting onto others.
so i really dont think that muu being gay was what rei flipped the hourglass on her for- atleast not as a sole thing. nor was it the "main" cause of muu's bullying. i think it just happened to be something that came to light as well and then WORSENED the bullying towards muu. as a little treat though i like to imagine the scene of muu hitting/pouring water over rei's head happened because rei rejected her confession of feelings. that headcanon does rly get obliterated by this interrogation question though. unfortunately.
also as a disclaimer i want to put proof that muu does very much regret/feel bad for what she's done- despite her "I Dont Care Im Queen Bee" attitude
she KNOWS shes done something bad.
she knows it was wrong. we just kind of. messed that up. by giving her an innocent verdict. plus muu's like. a 16 year old girl man. this is just sort of what happens in high school to a lot of people. besides the um. murder.
anyways. hope that helps give you more theories for what happened to muu, anon! but thats all just a theory. A GAME THEO-[GUNSHOT]
#one day i will also be able to coherently put into words what i think happened around muu's murder#milgram#muu kusunoki#milgram theory#milgram analysis#kusunoki muu#muu we're gonna get you out of high school girl i promise#asks
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Enjoying the show
Hobie x reader
Sfw hobie
Hobie invites himself in through the window he keeps telling you to stop leaving open and catches you singing and dancing in the sweatshirt he left at your place last time he visited. Don't forget he was "just a friend"
Use of song lyrics
I have no knowledge of British slang or accents the most we'll get from me (for now) is the use of luv. I'm sorry Σ(＞Д＜)
Hobie slipped through your open window tsking as he closed it behind him before making sure to lock it. He'd kept telling you to stop leaving it open just beacuse you lived toward the top of the apartment building there were still people, like him you'd remind him and he'd shake his head with a smirk mumbling thats different, that would be crazy enough to come through.
He called out for you listening for any response as he walked around the corner toward your room. You didn't answer but the sound of music keyed him in to your location. Humming he strolled toward your room door, he had intended to call out to you again as not to startle you but paused at the scene in front of him.
You were dressed in his sweatshirt and a pair of sleep shorts using a pencil as a microphone while you sang and danced in front of your bed. Your back was to him as he continued to look around you'd placed the mini spider-punk plush and punkified squishmello he'd gotten you a while back in the middle of your bed, your audience he assumed. Snickering softly he went to make himself known before the next song but his words were lost as you pointed the pencil at the plushies with a wide smile.
"This next song is dedicated to Hobie fucking Brown the punk bitch who currently has my heart in knots and butterflies in my stomach. This sweatshirts his ya know...i hid it last time he was round" You announced loud and proud to the plushies laughing softly as 'knock you down' played through the speaker.
'That's why i couldn't find it the little sneak.' Hobie smiled before curiosity won him over, and he leaned against the doorway, waiting for the show.
"Uh-huh, not again. Oh, this ain't supposed to happen to me..." You started talking into the "mic" before you started bouncing simlar to what he'd taught you to do at his concerts. You laughed bouncing and head bobbing through kanye's verse. The action didn't match the song, but who cared this was your show!
You stopped, rocking now as you put your hand out to point and perform like you were in some boy band. Hobie couldn't get the smile off his face as he watched.
"I never thought I'd be in love like this...When I look at you my mind goes on a trip" Your hand shook in front of you before coming to rest over your heart. Walking back and forth on your "stage" as you preformed.
"Then you came in and knocked me on my face" you pointed to the punked plushy before dramatically raising a hand to your head.
"Feels like I'm in a race but I already won first place." You pulled on the sweatshirt showing off the prize you'd won.
"I never thought I'd fall for you as hard as I did." You paused all movement, singing this line seriously before getting hype again.
"You got me thinking 'bout our life, our house and kids" your hand was palm up and out stretched as you moved it from left to right to imply the apartment for 'our house'and then pointed to the plushies at kids. Hobie's heart stalled before it was suddenly racing. Here you were singing a love song for him, about him...he was screwed.
"Every morning I look at you and smile." Your hand was back to rest over your heart.
"Cause boy you came around, and you knocked me down, knocked me down"
You fell foward laughing as you let the chorus go a bit before getting up, out of breath from singing and moving so much you turned around to grab your water almost jumping out of your skin when you saw hobie behind you.
"Hobie what the fuck?! How long have you been standing there, shit?" You questioned quickly, hand over your racing heart as you looked at him. He'd just about scared you shitless and you'd momentarily forgotten about your little show.
You walked over to your phone, pausing the song when you'd gotten no response from him but a smile that made your heart race for other reasons. "Hobie?"
He stalked forward, long legs putting him in front of you faster than you were prepared for. You looked up at him, cranning more than normal due to his proximity. His hands came to rest on your hips before he lifted you, spinning and falling back onto your bed, which creaked at the sudden movement, your poor "audience" crushed. He laughed loudly as you sqeauled, grabbing at him the moment he'd fallen back.
"HOBIE WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON" you yelled looking up at him from his chest. You could feel your heart beating rapidly, anymore scares and you weren't sure you'd make it. Your hands still gripped the front of his shirt tightly having been the only thing you could grip before he flung himself back. You paused feeling how hard his heart was racing under your hand. You looked from your hand to him and he smirked.
"Thought I'd come around and knock you down. Like ya said." He smirked as he quoted the last bit of the verse you'd sang.
"Oh my g..." You mumbled. Paling finally remembering your lil concert. You attempted to get up quickly but hobie stopped you hands locked around your waist. You looked back at his hands trying to push up again before turning back to face him. You couldn't look him in the eyes anymore, your face was hot from embarrassment. His fingers toyed with the end of his sweatshirt you were wearing occasionally rubbing a thumb across your back.
"How long were your standing there?" You sighed giving up on escaping. Hobie chuckled watching you give up so easily.
"Long enough to know I didn't just misplace my jumper last time I was 'round. Ya little thief" He chuckled tugging on the end of the sweatshirt. He watched as your mind raced before realization hit you. He tighted his relaxed grip on your waist as you began to struggle again. He had no intentions of letting you go but he let you try for now.
"Hobart brown, let me go! Let go of me right now! so I can curl up in my blanket and die! Oh my gosh, that means you were there from the start, and you didn't say anything, you ass!" You pushed on his chest, feet kicking as you tried to escape his grip. Your chest and stomach squeezed with embarrassment as your thoughts raced. Hobie didn't budge, and you were all but ready to fight him if he didn't let you up soon. (not really, but honestly, what else could you come up with in a situation like this).
Your words and performance played on the loop in your mind as you struggled. Not helping your case at all. You wanted to curl up under your blanket and stay there after you got rid of hobie and any trace of him so you'd never have to relive this moment.
"Hobie...Please..." You whined, finally giving up and burying your face into his chest with a huff. His chest rumbled beneath you as he chuckled.
"Sorry luv, no can do. Just found out I'm the punk bitch,ouch by the way, that's got butterflies in ya stomach" He pokes your side making you flinch. "And watched an amazing show about it too."
You groaned into his chest, willing whoever's up there to strike you down now.
Hobie looked down at you, grinning at the sight of your reddened cheeks and ears. He decided it was probably time to put you out of your misery.
"Look at me ,doll" His voice was soft but teasing. He held you down with one arm prepared in case you tried to get away while using his other to help him sit up. He rested his back against the wall pulling you up so you were forced to put your knees on either side of him practically sitting in his lap.
"No" you huffed, turning your head away from him. Your mind was still racing the embarrassment still fresh.
"Get out that pretty lil head of yours and look at me, doll. please?" He tried again this time lifting one arm to grab your jaw in a firm but gentle grip, turning your head towards him. You closed your eyes with a huff refusing to look at him and he chuckled.
Hobie thought for a moment before he placed a kiss to your forehead. You gasped eyes opening as he pulled back, his eyes were already on you.
"I've fallen for you too, luv. Hard might I add. No need to be embarrassed about it" his voice sounded confident but you knew better he was putting on a front, the emotional context to his words a bit much for him. His eyes searched yours as you took a deep breath.
"Doesn't change the fact that I'm still mad at you...so I'll need another sweatshirt and we'll be even...this one stopped smelling like you awhile ago" you grinned making your demands as you watched his gaze relax.
You laughed as hobie smiled. "Whatever you say, doll but first let me make up for the scare,yeah?" The hand on your jaw moved to cup your cheek as he leaned foward to kiss you. Your eyes closed as you let out a pleased sigh against his lips. Yeah, okay, you gave up a bit too easy, but who could blame you when hobie's hands were on you, eyes promising more than just the sweet kiss he'd given you.
#hobie brown#hobie brown x reader#atsv hobie#hobie x you#hobie x gn!reader#rainbow's bookshelf#spiderpunk x reader#spiderpunk x y/n
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Perhaps maybe a little something with Aemond inspired by the song Sucker by the Jonas Brothers?
Can be smut or not
👉👈😳 maybe possibly if that's okay
Side-eyeing you hard for your terrible taste in music lol I could not bring myself to listen to The Jonas Brothers, so Googled the lyrics and chose this:
"Don't complicate it
'Cause I know you and you know everything about me
I can't remember
All of the nights I don't remember
When you're 'round me."
Warnings: Angst, mutual pining.
Word count: ~900
“A toast!” Aegon shouts for what feels like the hundredth time that evening, draining the contents of his wine goblet in a single swallow.
She follows suit, wincing as the ruby liquid burns her throat. Her head is starting to swim from the effects of the alcohol, she is not used to drinking quite so much in such a short space of time.
Surprisingly, Aemond is keeping pace with the pair of them. He normally refrains from imbibing altogether. He is keeping his composure so well that she cannot tell if he feels as thoroughly soused as she does.
“To your final night of freedom!” Aegon jeers at Aemond, slopping wine across the dining table as he moves to refill both their goblets.
Her face falls as she remembers the exact reason why they’re sitting drinking together in the first place. Aemond is getting married tomorrow.
She had been a ward of House Targaryen since she was eight years old. Not possessing the interests that were typical of a highborn lady, she had gravitated towards Aegon and Aemond. She had enjoyed watching them spar. She even learned to wield a sword herself under their instruction, when Ser Criston Cole wasn’t around to fret that it was too dangerous an undertaking for a lady.
Aemond had shared his books with her, and she’d accompanied him on his many visits to the dragonpit as he’d admired the beasts that dwelled there, longing for one of his own. She had always taken Aemond’s side throughout Aegon, Jace and Luke’s relentless teasing. She’d shared in Aemond’s devastation when he’d lost his eye at Luke’s hand.
He was her best friend. She had never considered it anything more than that as the years had passed, until Alicent and Otto had broken the news that Aemond was to be betrothed to a Baratheon girl.
She had felt her heart shatter, all the air leaving her lungs. She was going to lose him when she was only just realising she was in love with him.
She had buried her feelings, gritted her teeth and learned to bear it as the pretty dark haired girl had visited the Red Keep over the course of the year-long courtship.
Things between her and Aemond had remained unchanged and for that she was grateful. She had assumed that now he was to be married he would pull away from her, but he continued to spend every spare moment with her. It was bittersweet torture.
Now it is the eve of the wedding and Aegon is determined to send his younger brother off in style, or at least ensure he exchanges his vows on the morrow with a sore head.
She places a hand over her wine goblet as Aegon attempts to refill it. “I have had enough, I think.” She says. “I need some air.”
She draws in a steadying breath as the cool night breeze hits her flushed skin as she steps out into the gardens. Leaning against a wall, she looks up at the stars, gathering her thoughts. I just need to get through tomorrow…and then what? Learn to live a lifetime without the person who has your heart and is completely unaware of it.
“Are you alright?”
Aemond’s voice startles her and her eyes flit down to look at him. There is a slight sway in how he is standing and a small smile tugs at her lips as she realises he is every bit as drunk as she is.
“Too much wine.” She half lies, ignoring the way her heart flutters as he draws near.
“Mmm.” He reaches up a hand to brush a stray lock of hair behind her ear. “I wish it was you.”
The way his voice slurs slightly does nothing to dilute the shock of his words, or the gooseflesh that prickles her skin at the feel of his touch.
“W-what?” She stammers, eyes wide and pulse racing.
Aemond closes his eye, his nostrils flaring as he takes in a deep breath, before placing the flat of his palm on the wall beside her head and looking down at her.
“You.” He utters. “I should be marrying you.”
Her heart feels as though it has leapt into her throat. She cannot get enough air into her lungs as she stares up at him, wide eyed. “You are in your cups, Aemond, you do not mean that.”
He shakes his head, bringing the hand that is pressed against the wall behind her down to caress her cheek. “I do. The wine has simply given me the courage to say out loud what I have always felt. Tell me you don’t feel the same way.”
Her eyes flutter shut at the feeling of his warm palm against her cheek. “I can’t.” She whispers, opening her eyes to gaze at him sadly. “But it does not matter. You are marrying someone else tomorrow.”
“We still have tonight.” Aemond offers, leaning close to her, his lips mere inches from her own. “I would rather have a single night with you than a lifetime of not knowing how it feels to be loved by you.”
She says nothing as Aemond closes the gap between them, kissing her hungrily. She melts into the embrace, returning his passion with equal fervour. This time when she tastes wine it is upon his mouth and she does not wince. Nothing has ever tasted so delicious.
#aemond targaryen#house of the dragon#aemond stannies#aemond one eye#pro aemond targaryen#prince aemond targaryen#aemond#aemond targaryen x reader#aemond targaryen angst#hotd aemond targaryen#hotd#hotd angst#aemond targaryen fanfic#aemond targaryen fanfiction#aemond targaryen fan fiction#hotd fanfic#hotd fanfiction#hotd fan fiction
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I’d give up forever
Hawks x reader
Warnings: cussing, slight angst, SPOILERS, the length alone should be warning in itself😭 timeline also may be a little fucked oh well. Sarcasm
Summary: Keigo is definitely not falling in love with you
Inspired by these lyrics in Iris:
I’d give up forever to touch you
You’re the closest to heaven that I’ll ever be and I don’t wanna go home right now
I don’t want the world to see me
Cause I don’t think that’d they’d understand
I just want you to know who I am
—
It’s cold.
Freezing even.
But hawks didn’t care. He’s to tired to care. This life can become a tiresome one when you feel like you have nothing to live for other then gathering information for hero’s.
He was so tired.
Flying around for hours on end, keeping his senses alert for any sort of danger then in the late hours of the night he’d stalk away to the darkest corners to meet with the league to continue to try and prove his loyalty to them.
It was all to much. He just needed the world to stop, to slow down for one minute. One god forsaken minute. But it wouldn’t. At least not yet.
People below him would shout up at him in glee all day, children chased him till there legs grew tired, paparazzi was always on his ass and for once he just needed to be away from society.
Which is exactly what he was doing now. His shift ended hours ago and for once he didn’t have to meet up with the league so he took the time to scout out a building with a nice view away from the city and soon enough he found it.
It was an apartment building on the outskirts of town, hardly noticeable. He landed on the roof of the building, it wasn’t the tallest but he just wanted something that would allow him to breathe.
He sat on the edge of the building and pulled his coat tighter around his face while the chilled air blew past him.
The passerby’s never would assume the number two hero would be all the way out here so none of them cared to look up at the building, they just continued about there night.
He was happy for one moment just a singular moment till he heard a door on the roof slam open and a loud “hey!” Hawks let out an anguished sigh, letting his head drop down. “You’re not gonna jump are you?”
That caught him off guard. He looked back at the person, at you, then looked down the building at what would not be a deadly drop at all. “No?” He replied
You sighed in relief. “Good you would’ve made my job a hell of a lot harder.” You said as you made your way to him, letting the door you slammed open shut softly behind you.
“You’re not paparazzi are you?”
You looked over at him in utter offense, “do I look like paparazzi?”
Now that he took a better look at you, you definitely didn’t look like paparazzi. You were in pajamas with fuzzy slippers on and your hair was pinned up. “I guess not.”
Minutes of silence passed where the hero was hoping you would leave but you stayed glued to your spot a few feet away from him. “You took away my think on a building top time.” He finally muttered, glancing at you.
You shrugged, “not my fault you decided my apartment was the building of your choosing. I pay to live here this is technically my building top. Whats your excuse?”
“Just wanted a moment to breathe.” You finally looked towards him and saw the distant look in his eyes when he glanced away from you.
“Being number two is hard isn’t it?” He nodded slightly. “Well you can use my roof top anytime you need. All the civilians out here are old folks so they won’t bother you. Cant say the same for me.”
Finally you started heading back inside. “You’re leaving?” His words came out faster then he could realize. You turned back to him with a grin.
“Well I know you’re not suicidal anynore so yeah. You did give me a heart attack though.” You pointed back towards him “not every day you see someone legs dangling from your window.”
Hawks quickly looked down again to see if you were right and sure enough your kitchen window was right where his feet were. He turned back to you, “I’m s-“ but was met with the soft click of the door closing shut.
Needless to say he pulled his feet away from your window.
~~
It wouldn’t be until weeks later that hawks would return to your apartment building. The League, more specifically Dabi, had been on his every movement and he was exhausted of options on where to hide out to find peace.
Is what he’d like to say about why he found himself ontop your building again. But in truth he found himself there again after weeks of thinking about you, something about you peaked his interest and finally he came back.
It was dark when he came back and he could see your were already on the roof looking out at the city. “You’re not gonna jump are you?” He asked, watching you jump and turn to him quickly.
You tsked and rolled your eyes at him when you saw the faint smirk on his face. “Of course not.”
“Oh good.” He said while he landed softly next to just a few feet away and suddenly he had a sense of De ja vu. “You made my job a whole lot easier.”
He smiled slightly when you breathed out a little laugh at him starting the conversation the same way you had all those weeks ago. You were silent for a moment before you let a grin slip, “you ruined my think on a building time.” You finally said
He laughed, “terribly sorry, want me to leave?” At this you pretended to ponder on the thought before shaking your head softly.
“I suppose it’s okay.” You glanced at him smiling gently. One thing you couldn’t deny, the man was incredibly handsome. “What brings the number two pro back here anyways?”
You.
Is what he wants to say but stops himself before he does. “To escape work.” He sneaks a glance at you while you weren’t paying attention. “And the fangirls.”
“Oh but why they must be so fun!” You exaggerate, turning to him with the most lovesick look you could put on.
He smiles and gives into your jokes. “Don’t tell me your my number one fangirl and you followed me all day just to catch me here?”
You gasped, “oh my I thought I hid it better.” You frowned and pouted your lip. He wouldn’t admit how cute he thought the action was. Before he could think about it more you started dying laughing and you smacked him on the arm. “As if hawks. If anything I’m your biggest hater you make my job so difficult.”
He raised an eyebrow at you suddenly realizing he never asked what you do. “And what is your job exactly?”
“I work at a hero agency.” You replied simply but he felt like his heart stopped for a second.
‘Don’t tell me you work at my agency?’ He pleaded with himself. That would make him look like such a dick for not recognizing you.
You, seeming to understand his look, quickly shook your head. “Not your agency! Endeavors!” You got out and he visibly relaxed. “I work in an office with like 20 other people who keep up his appearance as best as we can. So bad articles, rumors. All of them. They get sent to us and we twist it however we need to to keep up his image. So imagine what I’d have to write that night if you jumped ‘endeavors best friend dead’”
Hawks turned to you quickly, “I’m his best friend?!”
“You wish.” You replied quickly and he frowned. “I think if he could he would’ve killed you by now, you cause him a lot of trouble.”
“We’ve only talked a few times!” He defended which was true, they had only spoken a few times after the rating and had a few small conversations before them.
“So imagine how much trouble you are from only a few conversations!” You laughed, bumping his shoulder and his frown melted into a small smile. “Anyways tell me about yourself.”
Immediately his guard went up, something you noticed. “What’s there to know? You already know everything?” You eyed him. He had a carefree smirk on his face so you decided to play.
“Like what, that you hold the record for youngest top pro hero?”
His smirk only grew, “you looked me up?”
“It’s common knowledge.” You rolled your eyes but couldn’t help the small pink that dusted your cheeks. He went to open his mouth with probably another smart remark when he quickly turned away from you with a hand held up to his head phones. You had eyed them earlier but didn’t know what he actually used them for, it looked like it was a communication device.
Finally, he turned back to you with an easy grin. “Sorry, gotta head out duty calls.” He started flying up, “let’s continue this another time,” for the second time that night hawks was mortified he didn’t ask your name.
You laughed at his expression. “Y/n. And we will.” You smiled, watching him fly away.
~
The following days Hawks would find himself at your building more often then not. Sometimes you’d be there and sometimes you wouldn’t. One of the nights he finally caught you he was waiting on the edge of your balcony and scared you shitless.
You had explained to him then that with Endeavor reaching number 1 the bad articles had become ten times worse with criticism and spiteful rumors. It was the same night you finally invited him into your apartment.
The two of you talked for hours on end while you ate and drank wine. He only had one glass so he was still sober enough to hear you spill every detail about your life to him and he gave you as little information about him as he could.
He could tell it bothered you a little that he wouldn’t open up but you didn’t pry and for that he was appreciative. Finally after you had drank through enough wine your eyes became droopy and you fell asleep on his shoulder.
He would definitely leave out the part where it made his heart skip a beat.
The next day when he went to Endeavors office building he searched for you but had no idea where to even start and he was trying to be discreet about it.
He did ask the number 1 himself a few days prior but of course he had never even heard your name before and why would he in such a huge company like his. “Ah you should pay more attention to your employees.” Hawks had scolded him at the time and was only met with a grunt in annoyance while Endeavor continued to try and avoid him.
“Excuse me?” He stopped at the reception desk. The poor girl looked absolutely stunned. “I’m sorry to ask but do you know a Y/n that works here?”
Her mouth fell apart slightly while she nodded her head and turned to point towards a set of doors, “that’s where all the lower offices are she should be in there.” She finally got out.
“Thank you!” He gave her his charming smile and went to walk that direction when Endeavor stopped him.
“What business do you have with my offices?” He had asked, pulling him away towards the elevator.
Hawks allowed himself to be dragged by the bigger man, smiling and waving at the receptionist. “I have a friend who works here I wanted to say hi.”
Endeavor groaned. “Don’t tell me I have a fangirl of yours working for me?” Hawks shook his head sternly at that.
“Definitely not. She’s my biggest hater.” Finally being let go, hawks watched as another girl appeared at the front desk and her gaze snapped to Hawks immediately before she quickly ran through the doors he was trying to go through.
~
“I heard you were looking for me today.” You asked that night when you found Hawks on the roof again. He turned to you with a smile.
“Was it those two girls?” You nodded and stood next to him. He was sitting on the ledge, one leg dangling over and the other bent so he could rest his chin on it. His wings were tucked nicely behind him so he could see you. “They seemed like gossipers.”
“They arent-“ he gave you a look. “Okay they absolutely are but they’re actually my friends so they wanted to interrogate me as to why the number 2 was looking for me.”
He hummed, “cant a friend just say hi?” He noticed you deflate a little at his sentence but the next second you grinned and nodded.
“I guess they can.”
You both sat in silence for a moment before he decided to speak again. “I’m s-“
“Your h-“
You both stared at each other when you spoke at the same time. You broke into laughter and told him to go ahead but he was to busy watching the way you smiled so easily to remember what he was even going to say. “No you go I forgot.”
After a few more seconds you gathered yourself and turned to him, “your headphones. What do you use them for?” You asked pointing at your ears. “Are they like a communication device?”
“Wouldn’t you like to know.” He joked and you nodded, “guess you’d just have to wear them to find out.”
Now when saying this he didn’t exactly expect you to immediately go to grab them from his head but he also didn’t know that you’d been wondering about them since that night.
He watched you with wide eyes as you leaned closer to him and gently plucked them from his head. He could feel the warmth from your hands on his cheeks and he couldn’t help the soft sigh that escaped him at how close you were to him, he could see the shades of color in your eyes from where you were.
To him it felt like you were there in front of him forever but then seconds later you leaned back again and put them on your head, instantly the world became muffled and you shot him a confused glance but he was still to stunned to move.
When you took them off you had a frown on your face, “I don’t get it I don’t hear anything are these just to keep your ears warm?” You questioned when you noticed the red jewels that adorned his ears. “You have ear piercings?!”
And again you got closer to him to inspect them, this time much closer then before. He could smell your perfume perfectly now and the way his heart was doing somersaults scared him.
“Whoa they’re pretty.” You mused brushing your hand over the bottom of his jaw to move his head a get a better look, he shivered at the touch and it was then you finally understood the situation you put him in. Immediately you backed away, face red and arm extended holding his headphone. “Im so sorry! I didn’t mean to-I’m sorry!” You stammered before running off
Hawks was to much in shock to even run after you all he could do was watch the door close softly behind you and your light in your apartment shut off immediately as you got there.
He traced his finger along the ghost of where your hand was on his jaw for once feeling somewhat at peace.
~
The next days following he had not seen you, it was as if you made it a mission to never be where he would be which at the moment he couldn’t seem to find the time to question.
He was so busy with meetings with Endeavor and late night meetings with Dabi to even go to your building which he was sure you were still avoiding the roof.
The few times he did stop by, your blinds were shut tight and there was no sign of you coming out and he couldn’t bring himself to ask about you again at work.
His shit week turned for the worse when he and Endeavor were attacked by the Nomu. Of course he was ready but he was not ready for the level of strength this one had.
The nomu had done severe damage to the building and to the number one himself. By the end hawks was also worse for wear with some of his feathers missing. But compared to Endeavor he was fine.
Hawks went to the store later that night to find a gift, maybe you’d talk to him again if he brought you a peace offering?
He was glancing at the shelves when he suddenly stopped and grinned at what he was seeing. Immediately he paid and went to your apartment.
He held the gift in his hand while he knocked with the other before shoving it back in his pocket to nervously pick at the second gift he had secure in his pocket.
It took a moment but finally you opened the door a crack, “hawks?” You asked, scanning over his bruised up form.
“I come with a present.” He brought up his gift, a small Hawks plushie held up to his face while he gave you the best puppy dog eyes he could muster and you’d admit he was pretty good at it.
You chuckled softly before opening the door for him and taking the gift as he walked passed you. You smiled softly at it and set it down on an end table. “Are you okay?” He turned to you with a raised eyebrow. “I watch the news.”
He hummed, “you didn’t go to work today?” You shook your head and he took in your appearance you were dressed in pajamas. “Are you okay?” He came back over to you putting a hand to your head and your face burned hot at the contact.
“Yes, yes!” You shooed his hand away. “Just was feeling a little under the weather I’m fine.”
He still watched you with concern but dropped it. He went to turn away when your own hands slid to his jaw and he froze, “you have a ton of cuts and bruises.” You muttered softly “was everyone okay?”
His eyes softened at the worry in yours and he grabbed onto your hand that was holding his face. “There was some casualties but nothing to bad.” You nodded before you pulled away from him and took a few steps back.
He sighed, it felt like you were putting distance between the both of you and he couldn’t entirely blame you. You didn’t want to get hurt and Hawks was someone that would someday hurt you even if he never meant to. He knew it the moment you deflated when he refused to tell you anything about himself but he didn’t know how to tell you he was literally not able to.
Before the sadness could continue to fester in the space between you he pulled out the second gift, a small box.
“Here,” he hands it to you and watched as you opened it carefully to pull out one of his smaller feather around a chain. “Don’t take this to mean anything got it?”
You held a hand up to your mouth and for a moment he thought he hurt your feelings but then you opened your mouth. “Doesn’t mean anything?! Oh my god when’s the wedding?” You batted at the nonexistent tears.
“Ha ha you’re hilarious.” He said but he was still happy to hear your sarcasm again. “Just wear it from now on okay?”
“Wait..” you we’re putting it on when you stopped abruptly. “Is this some kind of claim thing? Are you trying to warn the other birds to back off?”
He rolled his eyes at you and walked closer to you. “I’m actually gonna kill you.” He muttered, pulling your hair out of the way for you to put it on easier.
He could hear your breathe hitch but chose to ignore it. He also chose to ignore the way his spine tingled when you layed the feather flat against your chest.
He took several steps back and admired it while you did the same. He wouldn’t admit this to you now but ever since the battle with the Nomu he’s had the overwhelming urge to make sure you were safe at any time and what better way to do that then to give you a feather.
~
The next day you were walking with your friend through the building when your receptionist friend stopped you. “Is that a hawks feather necklace? I didn’t know they sold those?” She had asked pointing to the chain around your neck. Your friend next to you looked over at it too.
“More importantly I didn’t know you were such a hawks fan.” She laughed and you waved her off with a grin.
“No I’m his biggest hater.” They both laughed when the receptionist sobered up.
She clasped her hands under her chin, looking at you with a twinkle in her eyes. “But seriously, do you know what Hawks can do with his feathers?”
You shook your head slowly, “fly? Be an idiot?”
“He can fly yes, the other thing is questionable-“
“No he’s definitely an idiot.” You cut in
“But his feathers do more then that.” She continued, ignoring you. “He can use them as weapons, a means of transportation, he can also detect sounds and vibrations.” She smirked and you froze.
You stared at her with wide eyes, hawks can do what?
You felt like your heart skipped a beat. It made you wonder if he could feel that sort of thing. “What?” You asked after a moment of looking at the pair of girls as the same realization started to strike in both of them.
“So in other words,” your friend chimed in finally “he’d be able to sense someone was in danger? So if his feather was always with someone he could make sure they were safe?”
The one to bring up this whole thing nodded her head excitedly then they both turned to you with the creepiest smiles you’d ever seen.
Before they could continue the discussion the man himself walked into the building with Endeavor. He found your eyes immediately and you felt yourself hold your breathe when you realized for once he wasn’t wearing his glasses. Hawks smiled to himself while he waited for the elevator, pretending he was listening to the pro next to him
You didn’t break the eye contact and instead subconsciously reached to faintly touch the feather around your neck and you could’ve sworn you saw his shudder. Before you could ponder on it your eyes zeroed in on his headphones and suddenly those things were making a lot more sense.
“His quirk,” you finally spoke up, keeping your eyes trained on the man. “Can he understand conversations?”
“I mean yeah I think to an extent. Why-?” They both turned to the direction you were looking and caught hawks just before the elevator doors closed. What they didn’t see was the quick wink he sent your way before entering. “No fucking way! I knew there was something going on between you two the day he came looking for you!”
“There’s nothing going on between us! We are just friends!” They both didn’t seem convinced.
“Yeah and I’m Endeavors favorite employee.” You rolled your eyes at them and tried to hide the fact you were blushing.
“Are we gonna get lunch or not?” You grabbed onto your friends arm and started dragging her out of the building while the other one started shouting at you to bring her something back.
~
You both returned about an hour later with food in hand and laughing about something that had happened earlier that day between some coworkers when Hawks and Endeavor walked out the front door.
They were both wearing grave looks on there faces it kinda made you nervous. Endeavor had said something to him before splitting off and going down the sidewalk to their left while Hawks walked straight towards you.
“Hawks?” You called to him but he looked straight ahead. “Hawks!” You said again and he finally sparred you a glance with a small forced smile before continuing on his way.
You stopped and watched him walk away. Your friend tugged on your arm gently to get your attention, “y/n come on he might just be busy if they just got out of that meeting.” You nodded slightly hoping that’s all that was and followed her inside but your mood had dimmed drastically.
It wouldn’t be until after the agency closed that you would get any sort of information out of him. You were packing up for the night as was everyone else. Both your friends had already left so it was just you.
As you approached the front doors you saw familiar feathers peaking around the wall just outside. “Hawks?” He turned to you with another smile but it was still forced. “Don’t tell me you have another meeting?” You checked your phone for the time.
“No, I wanted to walk you home.” You looked up at him and this time his smile seemed to brighten just a little. “I needed to talk to you about something.”
You nodded your head softly, “okay.”
Despite wanting to talk you were the one to try and make a conversation the entire way back to your apartment and even then he seemed to be out of it but you didn’t comment on it.
Eventually you gave up and just sat in silence with him all the way back to your apartment. You honestly didn’t think he noticed that you were silent and if he did he didn’t say a thing to acknowledge it.
All the way to you opening your door and letting him in no words were spoken still. You set down your purse and went to get water while he glanced around, noticing his plushie was missing from the table stand.
He looked around as discreetly as he could before he saw your bedroom door open and caught a glimpse of it sitting right in the middle of all your made up pillows. He looked back at you to see you still drinking water almost like you were trying to avoid his silence which he supposed he understood.
Quietly, he made his way onto your balcony and took in a deep breathe. You joined him only a few minutes later and he could feel you looking at him expectingly. “Things are gonna get bad from here on.” He finally said still withought looking at you.
“What-?”
“You work for the number one y/n I’m sure you can see things starting to go down hill.” At this you stayed silent and he sighed. “I’m sorry. It’s just-“
He turned to look at you and immediately regretted it when he saw the worried look in your eyes, the one look he was trying to avoid. “I’m not even supposed to be telling you this.” He whispered more to himself before he rolled his shoulder and stood up straighter. “I’m gonna be gone for a little while. I won’t be able to have contact with you.”
His heart broke a little at the way your eyes turned from worry to despair. “Why?” You asked quietly. He wasn’t wrong you did see a lot of things going wrong recently since the Nomu attack but you didn’t think Hawks would be the one to input himself. “Is this why you ignored me earlier?”
He nodded once. “I promised Endeavor-“ he paused “no I promised a lot of people I wouldn’t tell you. But I just couldn’t drop off the radar without telling you. I couldn’t have you hating me for real.”
“I could never hate you.” You choked, blinking up at the sky to keep your eyes dry and he frowned at the sight. He never wanted to be the reason you cried but he knew he was right about hurting you one day. “I guess you can’t tell me why huh?”
You still couldn’t look him in the eyes, especially without his glasses. His eyes pierced straight through all the walls you were currently trying to build up.
His frown was set firmly on his face so much so he wasn’t sure it’d ever go away. But he didn’t want you to see it, he didn’t want you to see the distress coursing through him so he did the only thing he could think of at the moment.
His hand reached out to you, moving to slide through strands of your hair so he could cup the back of your head and pull you into his chest. His other arm wrapped securely around your waist while his wings curled in on you, wrapping you in the warmest hug you had ever had.
“Will you be safe?” He ignored the way he could feel a few of your tears soaking into his shirt and hummed. When he didn’t answer you looked up at him as best you could. “I’m serious Hawks promise me you’ll come back alive.”
He couldn’t promise that, you knew he couldn’t and you could see it in the way his eyes closed. Instead of giving you the answer you wanted he leaned forward and placed a soft kiss on your head. “Promise me you won’t hate me if I do.”
“I promise!” You said immediately but his sadness only seemed to deepen by it and you weren’t sure why you had a bad feeling. “Why would I hate you?”
He only pulled you tighter against him and leaned his head down so you wouldn’t see a few of his own tears slip down his cheeks.
True to his word, the next day Hawks seemed to drop off the face of the earth and all the other pros started gathering daily.
~
Hawks missed you.
More then he’d like to admit.
It had been weeks since he last had seen you and it was then he started to realize how much you meant to him.
You were always in the back of his mind while he was infiltrating the villains. You were what kept him grounded while he was among huge crowds of villains gathering around for Shigaraki himself.
He collected the information, passed it onto the hero’s and took whatever orders were given to him but all the while he couldn’t get the feeling of you wrapped in his arms out of his head.
If he survived this he hoped you would forgive him and let him do it again.
Especially now that he killed a man, a man he had actually come to like. A man he so desperately wanted to save. But at the same time he was dodging Dabis flames.
God all he wanted was to survive. Before you he would’ve been okay dying here. He wouldn’t have been happy about it but he would be at peace but now you were there and you, you were starting to become everything to him.
“Pay attention hero.” Dabi scolded while he kicked him to the ground, readying his hand for another blast of flame. “I’ll tell Y/N to say hi when I’m done.”
Hawks eyes widened in horror. How did Dabi know who you were? He never had time to think about it before flames burned through his feathers. It was the second reveal of the night from Dabi, the first being Hawks own name.
“So desperate to juggle your double lives you never even noticed someone tailing you one of those nights you went to her!” Dabi laughed like a maniac and Hawks couldn’t get away from the flames. His entire back severely burned. “She won’t like you much longer anyways.”
The next thing he knew Hawks own student Tokoyami had rescued him and brought him to a medic tent to get treated. Everything after that had turned dark and he could only hope the hero’s would win and that he would wake up again.
~
It wouldn’t be until about a month later that Hawks was able to even see you again. He waited till he was out of the hospital and fully recovered and even after that, after all the bandages came off and he was cleared to go back to work he put it off.
He was terrified of facing you again when he knew there was a chance you wouldn’t forgive him. After everything hed just been through he wasn’t sure he could take you hating him for real.
Although his wings were slowly but surely healing and coming back, Dabi had done some irreparable damage to the nerves that ran through his back and feathers. So even when he felt that small tingle down his spine whenever you touched his feather he couldn’t be sure it was actually you.
He hoped it was.
More now then ever he hoped it was you. All day today he had felt a tingle up his spine which ended up with him at your front door after he could no longer ignore it.
For 10 straight minutes he debated knocking. He had held his hand up ready to knock then sighed and started pacing the hall. When some of your neighbors started giving him weird looks he finally knocked and the door opened immediately to his surprise.
“I was beginning to wonder if you would ever knock.” You said, hand on your hip as you stared him down
“We’re you just watching me the entire time?!”
“Obviously you idiot.” You smacked him on the chest.
He grabbed at the spot you hit him shocked you even hit him. “How did you know I was even here?” At that you raised an eyebrow as if to ask ‘are you serious’
“Well I practically have my own security team watching me like clock work Hawks.” He winced at the way you said his name. “Ever since the fight with the villains can you believe it?”
“I’m shocked.” If your weren’t so mad at him you may have laughed at him but your face was set in a hard glare.
“Right?! So just guess how shocked I was when one morning I open my door to be greeted by on of your sidekicks.” At the words your sidekicks you smacked him twice again on the chest not caring if it hurt him. “Imagine my surprise then after when he tells me you’re in the hospital but I can’t see you for my own safety and then! Ohoho and then how you were the one who sent them to watch over me.”
“Y/n..” he could tell you were very angry and at this point he’d take all the hits you sent his way.
“Months hawks! Not even one text or call after the fight to say ‘hey don’t worry I’m alive’ nothing!” You walked into your apartment now leaving the door open and he took that as a queue to come in and close the door for more privacy. “Months.” You whispered out, voice cracking.
“I’m sorry.” He finally said but your back was turned to him and you refused to turn around.
“They told me everything you know?” You said over your shoulder. “Your sidekicks. So I knew. I knew you stopped by my apartment every week since the battle yet you never checked in.”
He was sure if his wings were at full health they’d be drooping. “I have no excuse I’m sorry.” You sighed lightly before going out onto your balcony in silence. He followed you after a few moments.
You both stood in silence for what felt like forever when your voice broke through the tension. “I watched the news. I’m sorry.” He felt his heart drop. “I know you lost a lot of good hero’s, good friends. They all risked there lives for us.”
“And we still lost.” He said while he looked out to the sky above him. You stayed silent. There was nothing you could say to comfort him and you both knew it. He could feel your stare piecering into his head and at that moment he wished he never came over just to avoid what you were going to ask next.
“Dabi,” Hawks closed his eyes. “I saw his video too. Is it true?”
“If you saw that you saw Jeanist at the press conference I didn’t-“ he stopped when he felt your gentle hand on his face, coaxing him to look at you.
“Not that.” He felt his heart plummet straight to the ground. “About that villain. Was it true?” He took a second to breathe before nodding his head shamefully.
He expected you to pull away from him in disgust but you stayed put. “Dabi really is Endeavors son?” Another soft nod.
“I’m sorry.”
“Why are you apologizing?” You seemed genuinely curious. “If this is your way of trying to ask for forgiveness there’s nothing to forgive.”
There it was. He started to pull away and you could feel him slipping so you grabbed onto his face with both hands. “Damn it Hawks! I forgive you! If that’s what you need to hear!” You cried desperately trying to keep him from pulling away. “Not just for something you were ordered to do but for everything. Everything you’ve ever regretted in your life I forgive you okay? So please don’t turn away from me.”
Finally the tears he had kept to himself for so long flooded to his eyes and he wrapped himself around you. You returned the hug, careful not to touch his wings that were barely growing back. “I never wanted to keep all this from you.” He whispered and you hugged him tighter.
“I understand why you had to now. You held so much responsibility for so long for once let someone else bare the burden with you.” He was amazed by you. How could you just walk into his life as if you had always been there? As if you were always meant to be there?
“He knew who you were. Dabi.” Was all he needed to say for you to pull away to look at him. “It’s why I had someone watching over you. I couldn’t be there and I couldn’t let Dabi near you. If he had hurt you-“
“Hey.” You said softly, “he didn’t hurt me. I know where he got the information. An old coworker, he was a wannabe villain. He gave Dabi all the information he needed. Your sidekicks found him and arrested him. It’s how I found out.”
“I’m sorry-“ he was wiping his tears away when he noticed the chain around your neck. “You kept it on?”
You looked down at it confused as to why he would think you took it off. “Of course I did. I told you I would.” Your fingers went to it and he felt that familiar tingle shoot up his spine.
“It was you. The whole time I kept feeling something but I didn’t know if I would ever be able to feel it again after dabi..” he didn’t need to finish you knew what he meant.
“How bad is it?” He pulled away from you completely to shed his coat and turn his back to you. He lifted his shirt just high enough for you to see the scars that littered his back. “Oh my god.”
He dropped his shirt back down and turned to you again. “Shot some nerves so I don’t think it’ll ever be the same.” You saw the sad look in his eyes so before he could go to deep into thought you let your fingers run through his hair.
“Your hair is shorter.” You mused almost mesmerized now that you could take a good look at him. Then your fingers went to trace along the edges of the new scar on his face. “How is it possible for you to look ten times hotter then the last time I saw you?”
He breathed out a laugh and let his hands go to your waist as if they were always meant to be there. “Not something I expected my biggest hater to say.”
“I could never hate you.” You said immediately, looking him dead in the eyes so he could see how serious you were. “Ever.”
“I-“ he paused trying to find the right words to say. If his interaction with Dabi taught him anything it’s that he no longer wanted to hide himself from you. He wanted you to know him, everything about him even the darkest parts. For now he just wanted to start with his name. Something the hero commission told him never to reveal. But now they were gone. “I just want you to know who I am.”
“What?” Your gaze immediately turned confused. “Hawks-“
“No!” He said quickly tightening his grip on you. He could see the surprise in your eyes and he sighed in frustration. “My name. I want to tell you my real name.”
He no longer wanted Dabi to be the only other one to know. He no longer wanted both himself and the villain to taint his name. “My name is Takami Keigo.” No longer would it be tainted because now you knew it and you could speak it and he would never want to stop hearing it if it came from your own lips.
He glanced at you. Your mouth was open in shock, your hands had dropped down to rest on the arms that still had you by the waist. His nerves were practically radiating off of him. “Y/n?”
“You’re such an idiot.” You whispered with a smile on your lips while you slowly brought your hands up to cup his cheeks again. “You’re such an idiot Keigo.”
His eyes widened and his world slowed down for a second until it came to a screeching halt when the next second you were pulling his head down to yours. Your lips pressing onto his sent shockwaves down his back, a feeling he didn’t know if he’d feel again and now here he was wrapping his arms tightly around your waist while he returned the kiss.
The peace and quiet he had been searching desperately for he had finally found it.
He found it in you.
~~
The end <3
#bnha#bnha hawks#keigo takami#hawks x reader#keigo takami imagine#bnha x reader#bnha imagines#my hero acedamia#mha x reader#mha imagines
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crush culture
masterlist & descrip. pg-13. 13+. fem!reader. swearing. toxic, manipulative, near abusive ex mention. use of 'y/n'. lyrics are out of order. crush denial. 1.5k words. in reponse to @ghostworrjed 's ask bc i accidentally wrote it wrong & posted it lmao.
a/n. STOP IT ILY. first fic for this event is a conan gray song n im living for it | the last paragraph was rushed bc the song was starting to give me a headache
crush culture by conan gray | this is apart of my 500 follower event!
”i'm done! okay, i'm done! are you fucking happy now?!” you'd screamed, reaching for your keys off the dresser. your boyfriend stared up at you from the couch, a dark look in his eye that made your hands tremble in just the slightest. behind you, you'd already started to turn the door handle and pull it, opening the door, still facing him. ”yeah, i am. you know why?” you didn't want to say anything, you wanted to leave. but as if his words were a drug, you responded, ”why?” breathless, your eyes giving way to your fear. the man sat far from you smiled, the same smile that always told you things weren't going to end well. ”because you'll come back. because we love each other.” despite how he meant it sound, you could still feel the venom spat from his mouth. you could feel it tingle against your skin, you could feel it in the air as you slammed the door shut, anger and sadness fighting to stay behind your eyes, you could feel it on the hoodie you were wearing that was actually his.
you'd gone to stay with your cousin that night. she doubled as one of your best friends and stayed up with you the entire night. she wasn't amazing at providing comfort, but she let your cry it out on her couch, she let you sleep in her guest bedroom, she took the next morning off work to stay with you. she also convinced you, along with the ill intent behind your boyfriend's words, not to go back to him.
”y/n, my dearest cousin and best friend in the entire world, can i offer you a piece of advice?” she'd asked, pulling english muffins from the toaster onto her plate. for the first time since you'd sat down to eat, you looked up from your plate. ”yeah, go ahead.”
”why don't you try.. not dating, just for a few months?” you knew to take everything your cousin said with a grain of salt, but maybe she was onto something. every time you'd gotten out of a major relationship, there was a cycle that you never strayed from, and that was; breakup, then have a rebound, then go on two dates with different people, and then dive into another long-term relationship. ”uh, yeah, i'll give it a try.” it came out more sarcastic than you meant it, but by the smile you got from her, you assumed she could tell.
by the time you'd left her house that day and were on your way back to your own place, you'd decided to take the time off from dating.
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yes, it had been a few months since your breakup with your ex. yes, your ex was still texting you, every other goddamned day.
after news of your breakup had travelled throughout your friend group and your cousin's friend group, it was a mutual friend – one neither of you had heard from in a long time – who reached out. sapnap. and recently, you'd been spending more time than you would've liked to admit with him. it slowly went from one coffee out to cheer you up a few weeks after the breakup, which mind you, took a couple of cancellations to get set up, to you texting him whenever you wanted to go out and get away from everything. the next month you were telling him what your ex would say in the texts he'd send you.
in your mind, there were no sirens, no flags raised at how much time you'd spent talking to sapnap. even when he started coming over to your place or you started going over to his place, you didn't think anything of it, because at least you had him to distract you.
i'm not falling for you, 'cause this baby is love-proof.
yes, you'd been spending a lot of time with your friend sapnap. yes, he'd started to become apart of your daily routine to talk to. yes, your cousin had raised concerns over your weekly dinner together. no, you didn't feel anything for him. you didn't feel much of anything for anyone. but when you were with him, much like when you were with your cousin or your other friends, you were smiling and laughing. you were happy.
”do you want me to order something in tonight?” sapnap asked from your couch, head hung over the back to look at you in your kitchen. lifting your head up from your fridge for the fifth time in the hour with a sigh, your head turns to him. ”yeah. can we do ubereats this time? the last time i doordashed, they forgot my sauce.” you pushed the door shut lazily, taking steps back toward the living room as he pulled his head back over the edge and opened the ubereats app on his phone. ”whatever you want.” he offhandedly smiled at you and you've could've sworn your heart stopped for a split second.
oh. shit.
the whole rest of that day you went on as if you weren't on high alert. you couldn't have a crush, not yet, because your six months weren't quite up yet. by the time it was time for him to go, you were internally panicking. just don't see him for a week, that'll fix it, that's what you told yourself.
and initially, it did work. you told sapnap you were sick, and your cousin brought your groceries over that week and all was well in the world. and when you did hang out with him next? there was no heart stopping of any kind, and so you resumed your hanging out with him how you had been for months.
.⋆｡⋆˚｡⋆｡˚｡⋆.⋆｡⋆˚｡⋆｡˚｡⋆. ︶꒦꒷♡꒷꒦︶ .⋆｡⋆˚｡⋆｡˚｡⋆.⋆｡⋆˚｡⋆｡˚｡⋆.
”what do you think of this?” you'd asked him over facetime, stepping back from the camera to show off the new hoodie and jeans you'd bought that you thought paired really well together. ”i like it, but i think it would look better on my floor.” your heart stopped, but not in the same way as before. this time it was from how outrageous this sounded to you.
”excuse me?” you asked, picking up the phone to bring it up really close to your face. ”you heard me.” he replied simply. nonchalantly.
oh no, don't look in their eyes, 'cause that's how they get you, kiss you then forget you
your cousin stared at you, wide-eyed, jaw slack at your story. ”listen, y/n–” you cut her off. ”i know what you're gonna say, and no, i don't have a crush on him. he's just messing with me, obviously. anyways, i can't wait to be done with these months of being crush-free.”
after giving you a minute to catch your breath, your cousin speaks again. ”so what i was gonna ask, y/n is, are you fighting it? you know, having a crush?” she asked, pulling her mug of tea back up to her lips. she took a long sip in while you mulled over her words. ”no, i don't think so.” your words were flat out simple, but the way your fingertips tapped into your palm gave away your lie. ”uh huh, sure. let me know how this whole thing with sap goes.” she responds, taking another sip from her mug.
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ok, maybe your cousin was right. maybe you were fighting having a crush. maybe you were fighting having a crush on sapnap.
crush culture makes me wanna spill my guts out, spill my guts out, spill my guts out
every time you went out on drives later into the night, every time you called him at midnight and he picked up, every time he texted you about something interesting that'd happened to him throughout his day, every time he flirted with you, you felt heart your stop. you also felt it flip and spin and your stomach twirl and flutter as if butterflies were locked inside.
still, you didn't do anything about it, because you couldn't. you made a promise to yourself, and you wanted to see it through.
what you didn't know, was that sapnap was feeling very similarly. he'd started flirting with you moments before he realises he had a crush on you. but he couldn't do anything about it, because you told him a week later about your deal with yourself, and he knew how badly you wanted to get through it. so, of course, he wanted that for you too.
in the mean time, he flirted but would stop himself short of anything truly meaningful and he would avoid going for the hugs he oh so badly wanted, and he would take advantage of every minute he had with you. oh, what a shame it was to feel so much, and repress it for your sake and for the sake of the person you felt so much for.
.⋆｡⋆˚｡⋆｡˚｡⋆.⋆｡⋆˚｡⋆｡˚｡⋆. ︶꒦꒷♡꒷꒦︶ .⋆｡⋆˚｡⋆｡˚｡⋆.⋆｡⋆˚｡⋆｡˚｡⋆.
to say he was happy when you'd called him at 12:01am one night to tell him that you were officially through your six months was an understatement. to say he was ecstatic when you told him how you felt about him moments afterwards was an understatement.
pray4saint© do not copy, translate or repost my work without my express permission.
#⪩⪨ / saint's 500 f celly !#: the setlist#s.sap#dteam#sapnap#sapnap x reader#sapnap fluff#fem!reader#🐈⬛ !!#saint's inbox !!#dteam fluff#mcyt#mcyt x reader#mcyt x reader fluff#mcyt fluff#crush culture
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My tears ricochet/ hoax / happiness parallels
My lovely moot @lyricstoojesus has asked me about My tears ricochet so I've dug out my pandemic notes on folklore and evermore and had some thoughts. I agree that it's a good contender for a lyrical analysis as it's entirely set in the wake/funeral imagery, but I'm afraid I have nothing to tell you that would offer a different interpretation than it being about SB, because that's what I also think. However, I have a few lyrical analysis points as to why that is, as you said you're not convinced. I will have to draw parallels to hoax and happiness to show what I mean.
First is the line 'if I'm on fire, you'll be made of ashes, too' from the first verse. This fire and ashes metaphor appears again in hoax where she says 'I am ash from your fire'. This person that burned her appears in multiple songs and in MTR and happiness it's very clear that this is someone she was once very close to, almost like a family member, and therefore burning her down is hurting them just as much ('you'll be made of ashes too'/ 'You had to kill me but it killed you just the same'). Even the title itself, the very concept of tears that ricochet is, that the sadness is backfiring at the person that's causing it. I think in the long pond session Taylor said something like 'The person that can hurt you the most is the one that was once your most trusted person, because they know what buttons to press'. Similarly, I interpret the line 'You wear the same jewels that I gave you as you bury me' to mean 'You used confidential information that I gave you when I trusted you, against me'. That sounds very much like a parental figure to me and that points me to SB.
I have to admit that I probably come to that conclusion first through hoax, because that has so relatively few words in every line that they are really packed with meaning and once I'd worked my way through that the fire and ashes line then translates into MTR. So, in hoax all these four line verses are very minimal, but I think they are perfectly crafted to say exactly what/who each one is about.
The first one is 'My only one...' so that's about a romantic partner (her one and only). The song starts and ends with that, but in between I'm fairly certain she talks about something else. And I think she confirmed that in the conversation with Aaron saying that you can talk about multiple situations in one song, one being a business relationship, and one being a romantic relationship. Not surprisingly, this is a reoccurring theme in folklore and evermore, considering this is Taylor in lockdown in March of 2020 writing this, 9 months after the masters heist, working through all the feelings associated with what happened in the summer of 2019. And without too much guess work, I think we can assume some of that was business-related and some of it was the effect that it had on her relationship. (Not to forget that following the masters heist, Taylor started dressing in all black in the middle of her pastel and rainbows Lover era, to express her grief. So, not surprising that she chose a wake/funeral image for the song about that very situation). But back to hoax, the lines that I think point to SB are:
My best laid plan -the planned coming out
Your sleight of hand - masters being sold to the worst possible person without consulting her
My barren land - I was left with nothing, masters gone and plans foiled
I am ash from your fire - I trusted you once and you used that to hurt me
In summary: You knew about my carefully laid out plans and you took the ground from under my feet when you sold my life's work to my biggest bully and left me in the closet. You knew how much that would hurt me because I trusted you and you did it anyway. Bringing it back to MTR, in that light the line 'Cause when I'd fight, you used to tell me I was brave' really sounds like she's recalling times when he'd tell her she was brave for putting up with closeting for the sake of the success. And I really get older/parental figure vibes from this line, because isn't that what people of seniority often say to younger people when they are confronted with hardship that they don't want to tackle? 'Can't really do anything for you, but you are so brave...!'
Another lyrical aspect that I want to mention about MTR are the really strong parallels to happiness. Thematically, both are songs about a broken/past relationship, but MTR is the immediate aftermath, the grief of the moment, and happiness is the moving on, finding happiness and beauty in things that have ended. But the lyrics are really strong mirror images of each other, both highlighting that, despite the pain and betrayal, there was a lot to love and lose in this relationship, and some memories will always be cherished:
we line up, weepin' in a sunlit room -> In our history, across our great divide, there is a glorious sunrise
Showed you all of my hiding spots -> I can go anywhere I want, Anywhere I want, just not home
you're the hero flying around, saving face -> I can't make it go away by making you a villain
And you can aim for my heart, go for blood -> Past the blood and bruise
You know I didn't want to have to haunt you -> Haunted by the look in my eyes
My tears ricochet -> now my eyes leak acid rain on the pillow where you used to lay your head
Crossing out the good years -> seven years in heaven
I could go on, but I think you get the idea. These two are really similar and very much express the struggle of 'how do you move on from losing someone you were once so close to/looked up to'. Goes without saying at this point, that all three of these songs could easily also be read as breakup songs. But given the timing I would attribute them to SB, definitely a loss she'd have to work through in 2020.
That's all my notes on MTR, might come back to other folkmore songs, now that I've found my old notes. Let me know if it gave you any new insights ;)
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