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#I try my best and just because I didn’t meet your standards doesn’t give you the right to be ableist
chanxoxyeol · 2 years
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I got a new job with people I really enjoy (yay) and they called my previous manager for a reference call because they have to and he fucking told them he wouldn’t hire me because my production levels were low and now I think I know why it’s been so fucking hard for me to get a new job hahahaha :) It just makes me so fucking mad because I told him and told HR that I am disabled and it affects my ability to work sometimes but I always tried my fucking hardest. Like it’s a good thing my new employer knows me but if I didn’t know them I would be fucked. Like I truly don’t know what I’m going to do if I need to apply for a different job. Idk i’m just really fucking frustrated.
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tabithatwo · 10 months
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It’s actually so painfully brilliant the way yellowjackets sets up their un-stereotype-able characters. I could (and might) do this for all of them, but because she’s on my mind right now—the show tells us that jackie taylor is the type of girl who has high expectations put on her and WILL be analyzed constantly (from coach, her parents, jeff, shauna (if only by way of shauna’s reflective habits and her personal narrative construction), the team (by way of being captain).
Then they show us so many instances of Jackie being good and kind. Is she perfect? NO, BECAUSE THEN SHE’D BE ANOTHER STEREOTYPE (THE PERFECT DEAD GIRL/WIFE), SILLY! She has enough edge to be believable as a teenage girl.
And what do people do with that edge? They sharpen it and sharpen it and use it to cut out every moment where Jackie is being kind or trying her hardest! Because what do we like?? Feeling confident in our stereotypical assumptions of people! And what did the show do? Give us scenes with blocking that suggests the popular girl/loner best friend stereotype and absolutely turn them on their head, because what’s not very realistic?? The popular girl who is mean to her loser best friend stereotype in media! (Is it impossible in life? NO, nothing is! But it’s not a standard set up. It’s not as common as media makes it out to be.)
What is one of Jackie’s primary fears as a character? Being held to INSANELY high standards and not meeting them! And what do the viewers commonly do to jackie? Why, they hold her to INSANELY high standards and show how she doesn’t meet them, of course!
Jackie cannot slip up, every instance where she falls short is catalogued as a gotcha moment. She was never allowed to fully develop on the screen because we often get her through the filter of shauna.
She gets deeply depressed, that depression is largely ignored in the show (lottie doesn’t pitch in much either, but her brand of being unwell is observed and understood as existing more so than Jackie’s), and then it is often ignored by viewers (“why didn’t she just come inside, she’s stubborn and dumb!” rather than “wow, look at this consistent descent into deep depression and suicidal ideation we’ve seen since episode 3, culminating in Jackie choosing to stay outside, what can we glean from that?”)
Jackie dies and she is literally consumed in totality—her memory is obscured, the hallucination form of her is filtered through Shauna’s psyche, her corpse is a doll, her flesh is digested. And a photo of her at 18 years old is posted at the 25 year reunion, looking perfect, attached to nothing of her life or who she was, used to facilitate a dance between her ex boyfriend and her best friend, who betrayed her in a way that most people would never get over, (but as we’re shown in the death dream Jackie ultimately would).
Allie literally says, “While I know she isn’t here with us, I know that this is what Jackie would have wanted.” She says that! In the show! To punctuate the absurdity of it all! The very relationship that broke Jackie’s heart, crushed her spirit, destroyed her will to live, being touted as something she would’ve wanted to hundreds of people.
And if that doesn’t strike you as a fucking horrifying tragedy, as emblematic of the reduction of women to whatever those around them need them to be, in order to fit their narrative, in order to be useful to them, then baby this show is sailing over your head.
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asirensrage · 1 year
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Catalyst - Uzui Tengen & Wives One Shot
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Title: Catalyst
Rating: M
Pairing: Reader/Makio/Hinatsuru/Suma/Tengen
Fandom: Demon Slayer
Warnings: Swearing. Sex. Polygamous relationships. F/F, M/F, mention of M/F/F/F/F. Mention of you being from the future. Un-betad.
Summary: You meet Makio first...
Notes: This fic possessed me. I don't entirely know what happened but here it is. I don't even usually like writing in 2nd person, but like I said, it possessed me. I just had the line "you meet Makio first" in my head and this is what happened. I wrote it in the space of 2-3 hours. This is my first time writing Tengen and his wives (aside from my Rengoku/OC fic which isn't posted). Reader is unnamed and undescribed but references to being female. Enjoy.
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You meet Makio first. 
It happens by accident. You end up standing next to each other as you wait for your turn to pay for the food. Her outfit catches your attention, not because it’s low cut and short, but because it reminds you of the outfits you’re used to back home…in your own time. You’ve been blending in as best you can but the outfits are so restrictive in comparison. 
“Do you mind if I ask where you got your outfit? Who designed it?” 
She turns to you in surprise. “My outfit? Why?”
“I want one.” 
The request turns into her admitting that she makes the outfits with her wives but she’s willing to ask them if they’d help make you one. Providing you pay, of course. 
“Of course,” you agree. 
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Meeting up again is easy, as well as providing the measurements and down payment you give. If you’re honest, you haven’t had a lot of luck since arriving, but your history in retail gives you a great customer service voice and the patience required not to snap at belligerent clients. It gets you a job as a server which pays decently enough that you can afford it.
The longer you talk, the more you’re amused at the woman. She’s a bit brash and unwilling to deal with stupidity, but she’s also a huge dork. It’s hilarious. 
The two of you often find yourself sitting on a hill in the area, enjoying the view. Makio likes to talk about her family. It’s nice, letting yourself pretend that everything’s okay. You’re used to the time period now, but you haven’t really let yourself make any friends, assuming you’ll get back. It’s been a year though and prior to meeting Makio, you didn’t really spend any time with anyone. 
She’s not around a lot, her work taking her away from the area often, but she promises to come back with the outfit the next time you see each other. 
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The second one you meet is Hinatsuru. 
“It’s wonderful to meet you,” Hinatsuru says with a smile. “Makio has been talking about you often. We hope you like the outfit.” She offers the bundle she’s holding. 
“Thank you,” you smile at her. It’s cute watching her blush. 
“Try it on,” Makio orders. You raise your eyebrows at her until she offers a please. “We want to make sure it fits.”
“Sure,” you say. “Mind waiting?”
“Not at all,” Hinatsuru says. 
You invite them into your home, the small apartment-style area that you rent. It takes most of your wages but the woman who acts as your landlord is nice enough and you don’t have to worry about people breaking in. Makio looks unimpressed at the space but she doesn’t say anything once Hinatsuru nudges her. You don’t care. You’ve lived in better but you’ve also lived in worse. You’ll take what you can get. 
You change quickly and the weight of the outfit is strange after so long in standard kimonos and yukatas, but it’s nice. You feel like you can move again. You come out, unashamed in the sudden change of the amount of skin you’re showing. It’s freeing. 
The women waiting for you look surprised as you grin at them.
“Well? What do you think?” The dress is a cobalt blue with a black obi around your waist. There are slits up the sides with a short skirt that ends above your knees. 
“You look great!” Makio says. “Not as good as us though,” she adds, teasingly. You roll your eyes, used to her antics. 
“It suits you,” Hinatsuru says softly, her gaze darting between the two of you. 
“Thank you!” You grin at her before moving to grab the rest of the payment that you owe them. “Here. Do you think I’d be able to order more?”
“Are you sure?” Hinatsuru asks. “It is…revealing for the average citizen. We don’t want you to get any trouble.”
“Don’t worry,” you assure, thinking of your origins. “I’m anything but average.” 
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You meet Suma next. She follows the other two, bouncing slightly before darting past them to greet you. 
“It’s you! I finally get to meet you!” 
You blink in surprise at the enthusiasm as she clasps your hands in hers. She grins widely. “Makio’s been keeping you a secret.”
“No, I haven’t!” Makio yells, reaching to drag Suma back away from you. You try not to smile as they argue, or more so, as Makio argues and Suma reacts dramatically. Hinatsuru sighs but looks at them fondly before she heads towards you. 
“We’re so glad to see you again,” she says. 
“Me too,” you agree. “I missed your company.” 
She smiles at you, gaze softening slightly before the two of you are overrun by Makio and Suma, both demanding your attention. 
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The longer you spend with these women, the more you understand how well they fit. They balance each other perfectly in a lot of ways and despite the way they like to argue, you can tell that they care about each other deeply. It’s sweet and a little heartbreaking. Not that you’re in love with any of them, but it’s a reminder of what you don’t have. You doubt that anyone here would want to marry you, especially since you don’t have relatable experiences. It’s fine. You can deal with it until you decide to shove the truth about yourself down so deep that no one will ever dig it out. 
You still spend the most time with Makio. Mainly out of habit more than anything. You think she might be your best friend but you’re not entirely sure you want to tell her that. It feels like there’s something waiting for you on the horizon and you’re not sure if it's impending doom or something great. Probably doom, knowing your luck. Maybe you’ll just wake up back home. 
“Are you okay?” Suma asks. The four of you are huddled in your small living area, snacks and tea laid out between you. 
“We should have just taken you home,” Makio grumbles. You know she’s just uncomfortable in the enclosed space but you like it. You feel safer knowing there are not a lot of areas for someone to hide in. 
“I’m fine,” you assure them. “Just a little homesick.” You catch the look they all give each other and wait, knowing there’s some question they want to ask. Can they read you as easily as you seem to be able to read them? 
“Oh,” Hinatsuru says softly. “Can you not go visit?” 
You give her a small smile. “No. There’s…there’s no way,” you pause and correct yourself. “There’s no one left.” 
Suma looks like she’s going to cry again and you wave her off. “It’s fine. I’m used to it now. Besides, it’s not like I don’t have friends, right? I have all of you now.” 
“Of course you have us!” Makio says, looking fierce in her outburst. “We’ll be your family, okay?”
You laugh slightly at the determination and that way Suma eagerly nods in agreement. “Thanks. I’d like that.” 
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Things change after that. 
You’re not sure what it was, the reveal that you have no one else in this world or the fact that they’ve decided to be your family, but things change. They’re around more often, bringing small trinkets from their travels back to you that they insist improve your living space. They also touch you more. Not that they didn’t before, but it goes beyond the casual brush of skin as you sit next to each other or a hug goodbye. Hina, as she asks you to call her, enjoys playing with your hair of all things. Makio occasionally tries to feed you, offering bites from her own food or holding up a treat for you to try. Suma no longer has any concept of personal space, enjoying lounging herself across you and pressing her cold feet into your shins. 
It’s funny because you never considered yourself touch starved before but now? Now you think if they ever stop, you’ll miss it. Your life slowly adjusts to consist mainly of serving customers and the Uzui women. 
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Makio, as every time before, is the first. This time to kiss you. 
You’re stunned as she pulls back and you can see the concern in her features that maybe she made a mistake. 
“I’m sorry,” she says. “I thought–” 
You stare at her for a moment before you grin at the expression on her face. “No,” you say, “I just…I’ve never kissed another woman before.”
“Did you not like it?” she asks. You know that if you tell her you didn’t, she’ll stop. Things will go back to the way they were. 
“It’s not that,” you admit. “You’re married.” 
She grins at you. “I know,” she agrees. “But all three of us have been talking about wanting more with you. We just weren’t sure what you want.” 
“Aren’t there four of you?”
She nods enthusiastically. “Lord Tengen knows,” she says. “He’s waiting.” 
For what? You want to ask but you don’t, because Makio moves forward again and you find yourself distracted by the feeling of her lips on yours. It’s different from the guys you’ve made out with. Not necessarily better or worse, just different. Turns out that Makio is a great kisser and you’re not as straight as you originally thought you were. Huh. Who knew?
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Once that barrier is breached, the others are not long to follow. You feel a bit guilty to be making out with each of these women knowing that there’s a husband somewhere waiting for them, but this isn’t the first polygamous relationship you’ve heard of, especially since ethical non-monogamy seemed to be everywhere in the online dating arena, so you know that communication is the most important thing in a healthy relationship. You also have no doubts, based on what you know of these women, that one of them has told their husband everything. You’re just wondering when he’s going to make himself known. 
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Speak of the devil and he’ll appear. Isn’t that the saying? 
You meet Tengen by accident. Well, probably not by accident since Makio said he was waiting and it was bound to happen, but you didn’t expect it like this. 
You were in the market on your day off, wandering from stall to stall in one of the outfits that Makio, Hina and Suma made. They had worried about you finding yourself in trouble due to the cut of it. Instead, trouble found you. The strange man propositions you on the street. You shoot him down. It’s not the first time you’ve had to do so to such a request and it likely won't be the last. No big deal. You’re used to it. 
Until he touches you. 
The man grabs you by the wrist, stopping you from moving on. Unfortunately for him, you come from an era of women’s rights, self-defence and a love of action movies. You shove your fingers into his throat before anyone else can step in. He recoils, coughing loudly, and let's go. You straighten your outfit and prepare to move on only to stop as someone appears between you and the man. 
“Now that’s a flashy response!” 
The man in front of you is huge. You’ve seen a lot of men in your life but you’re beginning to wonder if any of them ever compared to this one. His arms look like the size of your head. Your mouth drops open as you register the jewels on his headband and the swords at his back. You’ve heard every description of the man possible but you have never expected him to look like…this. 
He glances over his shoulder and you have to actually move to peek around him to see the man who assaulted you being led off by some other. Tengen turns back to look at you and you watch as his gaze overtly looks over you. There is nothing subtle about this man. At least, not when he doesn’t want to be. 
“So you’re the one monopolizing my wives.” 
“Maybe,” you admit. There’s no reason to lie. “They’re good people.”
“They are,” he agrees. “They’ve spoken highly of you.”
“Not as much as they’ve said about you, I’m sure.”
He grins at that. “May I join you?”
“Knock yourself out,” you say, nodding. He looks slightly confused before he grins as he realizes you’re saying yes. 
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Tengen is not as patient as his wives. 
Which is funny because you never considered any of them to be patient once you got to know them. Maybe Hina, but that’s only in comparison to the others. He’s also straightforward. You like that. 
“You’re not only attracted to women,” he points out once he catches you staring at him again. Honestly, you’re just amazed at how small you feel next to the man. That’s never happened before. 
“Nope,” you agree. “Though, to be fair, it might only be them. I don’t know. I’ve never considered it before.” 
He seems pleased at the compliment to his wives and doesn’t hide the way he appreciates you as well. He walks you home and before he leaves, he promises to return and kisses you hard. It’s easy to see how he’s kept the three of them if this is how he kisses. 
You don’t see them during the days that Tengen is around. You suspect that there’s more going on, but you’re willing to let it play out. Getting to know him is like adding another piece to a puzzle. It all starts to make sense and you can understand how the dynamics fit. The four of them are practically a well-oiled, well-loved, machine and while you’re not entirely sure what their purpose is for you, you’re going to enjoy it. After all, who knows if you’re really going to stay? Even if it’s been almost two years. 
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Makio is not the first this time. 
It’s Hina who proposes, even though they’re all there. You sit there, surprised at the offer. You hadn’t expected this. Even when they said they’d be your family, all those ages ago, you didn’t think they meant literally. 
“I can’t,” you admit, wincing as you watch Makio’s expression fade into blankness and Suma starts to cry. 
“Why?” she wails, reaching out to you. 
You consider it. It’s not that you don’t want to. You love them, each and every one. How could you not? At least, you’re sure that you do. You haven’t exactly tested things out completely, always stopping before it led to full-out sex because you had been unsure of their marriage, but the desire was there. 
“I don’t know if I’m here to stay,” you try to explain. “For good.” 
“What do you mean?” Tengen asks. “Where would you go?”
“Back to the future?”
They stare at you for a moment, the words processing before Tengen leans back and laughs. 
“I knew it!” He says, looking at you with a grin. “I knew you were flashier than you let on! Your score is different from everyone else's!”
“My score?” You don’t remember telling any of them how many people you’ve slept with….
He explains…and so do you. 
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Things finally start to make sense. They never really explained what they did, at least not in detail besides trying to ensure you stayed indoors at night. The truth of their occupation, and their history, is the final puzzle piece. The truth of you clears up the confusion of all the strange little things that you do that don’t really make sense…but are also the same things that drew them all in. You all agree to give it some time, to think about it. 
It takes a day before Tengen is back with advice. 
“Say yes,” he says, hand on the small of your back as he pulls you towards him. “Even if the worst should happen and you leave, shouldn’t we enjoy the time we have? Marry us.”
“Let me think about it,” you ask, kissing him softly. 
Suma is the next. 
“Please say yes,” she begs. “Please! We need you!” 
You smile in response. “Let me think about it,” you ask again before kissing her this time. She melts into it and you try not to let it sway you. 
Hina comes about a week later. 
“Please join us,” she asks, holding your hand in hers. “We miss you. Let us take care of you and you take care of us.” 
“I miss you too,” you admit. “All of you. But are you sure?”
She kisses you. “We are. Are you?”
Makio is last. Her arms are crossed as you come across her waiting for you outside your work. 
“You’re being stupid,” she says as soon as she sees you. 
“Nice to see you too.”
“Why are you doing this to us?”
“What? Making you wait?”
“Yes!” The brashness fades as she looks at you. “Don’t you want us?” 
You sigh. “Of course I do.”
“Then marry us!” 
“One more day,” you say. “Give me one more day, okay? I’ll come to you.” 
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You’ve known your answer since Tengen spoke to you. He’s right. Why should you deny yourself the chance of enjoying your life here, even if it might not be forever? Really, what is? If they want you, they can have you. 
It’s not hard to find their home despite the fact that you’ve never been there. The place is beautiful and a little out of the way. It suits them though you wonder if they’d like chimes. Wooden chimes would suit the place but it might be a bother considering Tengen’s hearing. 
The door opens before you even get to it and Suma comes running, nearly tackling you on the path. 
“You came!” 
You laugh as you hold her, miraculously steadying the both of you. It doesn’t last long as soon as Makio joins in. The three of you end up sprawled on the path and your face is covered in kisses despite the fact you still haven’t given an answer. You don’t mind. You know your answer and kiss them both back. 
“Alright,” you hear Tengen say. “Get up, you three.” Hina giggles as you all try to untangle yourselves. It takes a couple of tries before Tengen eventually steps in and lifts Suma off of you, listening to her protest. Makio stands up next and offers you her hand. 
You hold it, reaching out for Hina’s before you follow Tengen inside, trying not to laugh at Suma’s expression as she’s carried over his shoulder. 
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You say yes. Tengen looks like he knew you would and the women are ecstatic. So are you. You’ve never felt as loved or as wanted as you do at that moment, as they all celebrate the fact that you’re joining them and going to become one of their wives. Even if you disappeared in this moment, you’d remember it forever. 
Luckily, that doesn’t happen. 
What does happen is that someone opens some sake and the night ends with you on your back and someone’s face between your legs. They know you’re inexperienced but the four of them aren’t. It’s not hard to listen to their cues, let them guide you and relish in the way you can help make them break. 
You learn new ways to use your tongue, the sweet spots that make each of them clutch you tighter and beg, and you learn how many times you’re capable of orgasming. It’s way more than you ever expected and you might have blacked out at some point. You come to curled up next to Suma while Hina’s head rests on your stomach. You’re all covered in sweat and the room stinks of sex. You can hear them though. The soft praises of Tengen and the way Makio cries out. 
“You did this,” he tells her. “You completed us.” 
“Thank you,” she cries out, clutching at his arm as he thrusts up into her. “For letting me–” She’s facing the rest of you. Both of them are and you catch Tengen’s eyes as he realizes you’re awake. 
“My beautiful wives,” he says, kissing her neck. “You’re so good to me. So good to all of us. How could I resist?” 
Suma shifts closer, throwing an arm around you as she buries her face against your skin. Indeed, you think, closing your eyes and drifting back to sleep even with the sounds of them fucking. How could you resist?
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taglist: @raith-way  @chrissymunson @veetlegeuse  @chickensarentcheap @residentdormouse 
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strangemagicc · 26 days
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pairings: Eddie Munson x Vampire! Reader, Stranger Things AU
summary: Eddie doesn’t know what it is about you that has him spun, completely under your spell.
author’s note: Uh, I wrote the last 2k with one hand and did my best to edit it, so if you see mistakes (no you didn't) 🖤 i just wanted to write a little something for fun, an idea that popped into my head two weeks ago.
As always any feedback is so appreciated! Thank you for all the support so far 🖤
w/c: 7.7k
warnings: smut - oral (Eddie receiving), unprotected p in v, blood drinking, brief mentions of religion (Christianity) in relation to reader's upbringing, drinking, drugs, death, a small descriptor of reader having hair long enough to tie into a ponytail. Please let me know if I missed any!
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The year was 1740, the year of your birth.
Your second birth. 
You were an average twenty-two-year-old. Desirable by all societal standards but unwed and edging closer to that worrisome age where your family began to question if you would ever marry.
But you didn’t have any desire to be a wife, to give birth to child after child in an endless cycle of pregnancy until the day you died.
It all seemed uninteresting, the furthest thing from your deepest desire. You wanted to be far from ordinary, something so exhilarating that it scared you. Something or someone that even your imagination couldn’t dream up.
One night it seemed like all of your wildest dreams and all your worst nightmares came true at once.
It had been a cold winter night, the snow covered the ground in a thick sheet. Loud underneath your boots as you walked through the town, obscured by your hooded cloak. 
The streets were silent, dark except for the dim light of your oil lantern guiding you on your quest. It was naive in retrospect but your feet moved eagerly toward the secret spot you agreed to meet him. 
Henry Davis was, by all appearances, a gentleman. Minus the usual shrewd regard for anything or anyone considered other. He liked your independence, the way you disregarded societal expectations. 
The way your ass felt pressed against his clothed cock. 
That night was meant to be the night; clothes shed, bodies pressed together, breaths mingling. 
But you never made it there. 
In the dark of night, a shadow shifted and you wrote it off.
Your mind was just playing tricks on you. 
Then another shifted and suddenly you were surrounded, encircled mostly by men you didn’t recognize. Men whose faces were masked in cruelty, their eyes hungry. Angry. The threat of them had sent a shudder through your spine. 
And amongst them was Henry, his gruesome smile the worst of them all. Pride coming off him in waves because you’d been tricked, you’d been had, and it had been his doing.
You were too scared to be embarrassed, your eyes searching for an exit but the men were closing in. 
In an instant, you discovered that it wasn’t your body they wanted. 
It was your blood. 
Their teeth were sharper than the frigid air, cutting into you like knives. 
Stealing your life force. 
Leaving you for dead or close to it. 
You’d laid there dying, vision blurring at the edges as you gasped. Unable to catch a breath. Begging your God for the end.
You’d thought it was a figment of your imagination, that someone had returned and pressed a thick coppery liquid to your dying lips. 
And you thought it was part of dying the way your insides twisted, the way your veins felt like they’d been set ablaze. Heart hammering as it beat wildly against your chest and you clawed at your throat trying to escape what was inevitable. 
Your heart thudded once, twice, and then never again. The final breath that escaped your lips shallow and no longer necessary. 
The silent night turned loud, the sound of the bugs blaring and ringing in your ears. You could see through the darkness, your eyes darting to animals as they scurried in the trees and amongst the fields.
“Hello, my child.” 
His name was Thomas, and he was beautiful. Skin resembling porcelain and free of any blemishes. Captivating blue eyes transfixed on you, hand beckoning you towards him. And without hesitation, you took it.
From that moment he ushered you into a new life. One filled with an endless bloodlust, a seemingly endless need for power and control.
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It is 1989 and you’ve been alive for over two hundred years.
The world around you had changed but you were no different than the day you had died. 
You were the same twenty-two-year-old. Far from average, and beautiful in a way that was unnerving to strangers that encountered you. They were never able to put their finger on it, the way you made them uneasy despite not doing anything for them to feel that way.
Too dumb to realize it was their sixth sense telling them to run, warning them of the immediate danger.
You bored of the hunt long ago, the blood lust not nearly as strong as it once was.
Well…not as fun.
All the money and power hadn’t made you happy.
The joy of exacting revenge and letting Henry meet the sun only lasted a century.
Though it did make you grin when you thought of the way his ashen remains drifted in the wind. 
No one to remember him, no one to care. 
Now, you didn’t know what you wanted but you knew it couldn’t be found in the crowded streets of the concrete jungle and you went searching for something that felt like home.Whatever that meant for an orphaned vampire.
You moved from New York City and made a home out of Hawkins four months ago. 
The small town reminded you of the life you once had. The deafening silence and hushed whispers. Religious nuts with an agenda. 
But you quickly found your crowd, someone you might refer to as a friend if anyone asked. And seeing him every night made your never-ending, suffocating loneliness worthwhile. 
Less daunting. 
You pulled open the doors to The Hideout, their old wood creaking with the force of your strength. 
Eddie’s head cocked up at the familiar sound of your heeled shoes and watched as you approached, a familiar look shading his molten honey eyes.
The kind of look you were used to getting from those around you, their innocent human minds unaware that their attraction was due to the natural vampire allure that exuded from you and made them easier prey. More likely to follow you down a dark alley despite their better judgments.
He smiled at you wide, his dimples piercing the flesh on either side of his plump lips. 
Eddie Munson was a real salt of the earth man beneath the layers of anger and resentment that he hid behind but you’d found that he was easy enough to unravel. Months of nightly visits exposing his molten center and it took him just as long to crack your hardened exterior. 
“Busy night, Munson?” you asked and gave him an equally broad smirk as you glanced around and slid onto the stool before him, a small chuckle escaping your lips when you noticed Mr. Cartwright falling asleep with a beer in hand.
The bar was nearly empty except for a few regulars spread around in varying states of inebriation. Madonna played on the jukebox, a cute blonde danced offbeat to the insipid song. Her partner held onto her like a life raft. 
It was the typical crowd for a weekday. The Hideout’s only busy nights were on Fridays when bands came to play or the weekends when there were specials on the drinks.
“Nothing crazier than a Wednesday night,” he responded, his words heavy with sarcasm and a raise of his eyebrows. His strong hands already reaching for the ingredients of your usual drink.
A strawberry Negroni; a bitter drink with an eerie color resembling blood before it oxidized.
“Am I that predictable?” Your brows quirked as he pushed the glass towards you.
“Just a little, City Girl,” he teased and began to rinse the mixer he’d used to concoct your drink.
You took a swig, jaw clenching as the alcohol burned your throat. The warmth still felt as it settled into your empty stomach.
If you were honest, you enjoyed the quiet lull of the bar and the fact that you got Eddie’s undivided attention. 
At first, you were guarded; completely thrown by his dramatics and how he talked to everyone without restraint. Slowly he had chipped away at your marble exterior, teasing you and asking you questions, at least one, every time he saw you. Doing his best to get to know you better, a concept that had been foreign to you for some time. 
Where are you from?
Why’d you leave New York?
Is it as great as they say?
Why the fuck would you choose to live in Hawkins?
He knew your favorite drink, the songs you hated from the downturn of your mouth whenever they came on the radio, that black seemed to be your favorite color, and he’d noticed that you only came out when the sun had set.
“I have a question for you,” Eddie remarked.
“Don’t you always?” You grinned around your glass and took another sip.
He ducked his head, a hint of embarrassment vibrating off him—the thrum of his heart loud.
“There is one thing I still haven’t figured out,” Eddie began.
“You’ve been trying to figure me out?” You interrupted, settling your glass back onto the wooden counter. A cheeky grin pulling across your lips.
The banter between friends had become passive flirtation weeks ago when you began to crave more than just his blood.
You loved to tease him, to watch how his eyes would always go wide in surprise, or how a crooked smile would spread across his lips. 
“I’m sure everybody in this small town is,” he laughed, though his cheeks turned a brilliant red at your question.
“And what have you uncovered, Detective Munson?” You played along, voice sing-songy in your encouragement.
“Not much,” he raised his hands as if to show you he was empty-handed.
“Why is it that I never see you in town and only see you here when the sun has set? You must work some crazy long hours. You a nurse or something?”
“‘M not a nurse, blood makes me queasy,” you lied. 
Eddie’s lips pursed at your confession, mind working overtime to figure you out. 
“Then what are you? Come on, you’ve got to at least give me a hint,” he crossed his arms and raised his eyebrows at you expectantly. 
Your gaze traced his lean muscle, eyeing the way his biceps bulged beneath the plain black t-shirt he wore. The way his hair was tied into a low bun, loose strands framing the sharp lines of his face. The veins in his hands were pronounced, the blood that coursed within them a low hum. 
If your heart still beat it would’ve been racing with want.
“Now what would be the fun in that?” Your gaze met his as you raised your glass to your mouth, rubbing the cool rim of it against the swell of your lower lip.
You were teasing him despite how close he was to discovering your secret; why you could only come out at night or risked being roasted by the sun.
An intensity passed between you, a stimulating silence that filled the small bubble you shared with him.
“That’s it? No other guesses?” You asked, breaking through the tension.
He shrugged, trying to appear unaffected by the energy buzzing between you.
“Maybe a creature of the night,” he joked and wiggled his fingers at you, making a noise that resembled a caricature of a ghost and for the first time in centuries you giggled.
A light sound that made Eddie feel a pang of pride.
“And if I was?” You arched your brow at him, gazing into his big amber eyes from below your lashes. 
A little hypnotizing. Enticing him despite the looming threat.
“Are we talking furry friend or something closer to Nosferatu?”
“Well, I don’t have a tail to wag and you don’t see me outside howling at the moon tonight.” You pointed a sharp nail toward a window and to the full moon that cast a yellow glow into the darkened parking lot.
Eddie chuckled at your dramatics.
“I mean, I’ve seen Vampira. Undead chicks can be hot,” Eddie shrugged.
“Oh? You don’t mind a little biting?”
You wiggled your eyebrows, listening as the blood rushed to his cheeks, noticing how his breathing quickened at your words.
It had always been a fun little game, toying with a potential meal. Flirting until they were stuttering, unable to produce a sentence. You could still hear what your old master used to say.
Don’t play with your food.
But Eddie wasn’t food and you reminded yourself, repeating the words like a mantra.
Eddie is not food.
Eddie is not food.
“I’ve never shied from a little nibble,” Eddie interrupted your internal battle and leaned his elbows onto the counter, openly flirting despite the thrum of his heart. The nerves that seeped into his sinew.
“I should’ve known,” you pointed your finger at him, fighting the smirk that threatened to give your enjoyment away. 
Eating up his words.
“What is that supposed to mean, city slicker?” Eddie moved a half an inch closer, playing into your game; teasing you just as you were teasing him. 
Daring you to say exactly what it was you meant.
Your usual game of cat and mouse had new stakes. Leaving you to question who was the cat and who was the mouse.
“I could just picture you covered in love bites, dabbling with handcuffs.”
Your eyes drew the brunette in, bewitching him despite your lack of immortal abilities.
“Are you trying to find out?” He challenged you. 
You tiptoed near the line; the one that put you at risk.
“Are you trying to show me?” 
You finished your drink, swallowing hard before setting the glass onto the counter with a thud; fingers playing with the condensation. Eying the way Eddie’s adams apple bobbed as he swallowed hard, his carotid thrumming with exhilaration.
He was caught off guard, your conversation turning from the typical flirty banter to an open invitation. 
The hesitancy was written on his brow, etched into the lines of his forehead and you wished you had the power to read his mind. 
“What if I am?” 
“Then you should come to my house once you close up.” You whispered, leaning closer. 
Instinctively Eddie closed the space, his mouth inches from yours.
You gave him a teasing smirk, reaching over the counter for a napkin before settling back into your seat. He watched as you opened your purse and fished for the spare pen sitting at the bottom. Quickly you sprawled your address on the paper, pushing it toward him once you were done along with what you owed him for your drink.
You didn’t wait for his reaction, hopping off the barstool and walking through the doors. Back into the warm summer air.
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Hawkins smelled a lot like how the world used to before it got itself into a hurry and became a flurry of machinery; polluting the sky with waste from industrialization. 
But this air was sweet; maple leaves and wet soil. The corn fields exuded an aroma that mingled with the rest. 
And the night was loud, the chirping of the crickets amplified. Creating a song with the cicadas that lived in the trees. In the distance, you heard the sound of idling cars and whispers from a pair of lovers near the lake. It had been hundreds of years since you couldn’t hear everything around you. Couldn’t read people based on their increased heart rate, or the sound of their quickening breath.
It was in the streets of New York where you began to long for the mystery, to miss wondering what came next. Trying to guess what someone’s intentions were. It made life less predictable, less monotonous.
Cars whizzed past you as you walked the dirt path that led to your home; an abandoned Victorian mansion that townspeople believed to be haunted.
You’d encountered ghosts before but they didn’t live within your walls. The only thing spooky about the home was its murderous past; though those killings didn’t compare to the trail of bodies you’d left behind.
There was never a knock on your door or any questions raised about your renovations as you scraped and cleaned the dirty interior.
You figured the towners were too polite or scared to ask questions opting to gossip amongst themselves instead. 
But you didn’t mind the whispers. 
Finding amusement in their sideways glances, and increased heart rates when you were around. Fear of the unknown taking hold of them. 
The only challenge of the small town was its population. 
Hawkins had a mere ten thousand citizens, a far cry from the sprawling city you’d retreated from making it harder to hunt. To find food that satiated your hunger. 
You’d settled for rabbits, bobcats; really whatever you could find. But their gamey blood didn’t compare to the richness human prey had to offer. 
Every human had a special flavor based on their dietary preferences and varying lifestyles. Some had bold, deep flavors while others were light; almost tasting of fruit. A select few tasted as polluted as the air around you, toxins mingling within their life force and tainting their taste.
You couldn’t help but wonder what Eddie would taste like. Imagining his strong flavor as his blood coursed over your tongue and your incisors grew, poking into your lips at the thought.
Eddie is not food.
Eddie is not food.
Eddie is not food.
The words repeated over and over, engraining themselves into your brain. 
The door creaked as you stepped into your home, the dank smell of mildew and dust greeting you despite the hours you’d invested trying to clean the place. 
You dropped your purse onto the coat rack nestled by the front door, kicking off your heels and pulling up your hair as you walked further into the home. 
The original chandeliers gleamed above, flashing occasionally due to the old wiring. You’d decided to paint the walls a forest green; a color that stood out against the wood paneling covering half its surface and matching the tiles lining the fireplace in the foyer. 
Candles were perched on nearly every surface, wax melted below them and clinging to the candelabras that held them. 
You ran your hands along the wooden banister above the fireplace, glancing at the grandfather clock that marked the passing minutes in loud ticks.
There were several hours between now and when Eddie got off work. And you debated whether to change into something a little more comfortable. Questioning if that would be too obvious.
Did you really care if it was?
Taking the stairs two at a time you walked to your room and opened the armoire that sat against the wall closest to your bed; rifling through its contents until you found something indecent. Something that left little to the imagination. 
It was a burgundy dress hemmed in black lace that had a deep v-cut down the middle and a high slit on either side revealing the length of your legs. The curve of your ass was nearly exposed and barely covered. 
You sat at your vanity and reached for your red lipstick, swiping the vibrant color along your lips. Smiling at yourself despite the lack of reflection. 
Completely aware of just how good you looked. 
The snap of a twig caught your attention and you stilled as you listened to the approaching footsteps outside your home; recognizing the heavy tread of his shoes.
He’s early.
Eager.
You grinned to yourself and slowly made your way downstairs, anticipating the moment his hand rapt against the wood.
Giddy when it finally did.
Slowly, you opened the door. Measuring his response, enjoying the way his eyes widened and nearly bulged out of his head as he took you in.
“I could’ve sworn the Hideout was open until one,” you tapped a thoughtful finger against your chin. Pressing your lips together to fight the smile that threatened to give your satisfaction away.
“The customers understood I had more pressing plans.” Eddie pushed his hands into the pockets of his jeans, shrugging his shoulders and trying his best to conceal how antsy he was.
And you did your best not to notice.
“Do you want to come in?” You tilted your head and held the door open wide.
“Yeah,” he breathed and walked past you. Eddie smelled of bergamot and tobacco. Cozy, the way a warm fire used to make you feel. You could smell the spearmint gum hidden behind his lips, the tequila still burning on his tongue and you itched to taste him.
You watched as he glanced around your home, auburn curls free from the hair tie that restrained them before. Loose ringlets framing his face perfectly. 
“Knew I recognized the address,” he laughed, eying his surroundings.
“Haven’t been in here since it was condemned.” 
“Are you another superstitious townie?” You teased. 
“Oh come on, the Creel house is definitely haunted.”
“I’ve never seen a ghost.”
“Maybe they’re lurking, watching.” His voice dropped low, eerie as he began circling you. 
Doing his best to creep you out.
You shivered as his warm breath fanned against your exposed skin and if you were still alive your nervous system would’ve triggered goosebumps to sprout along your arms.
He stopped in his tracks as your fingers grabbed onto the fabric of his shirt and held him in place.
“I don’t scare easily, Eddie.” You walked your fingers up his chest and rested them against his sternum, eyeing him with want. 
He bent his head down towards yours, drawn in like any human would be.
But you weren’t ready to devour him just yet.
“Want some wine?”
You didn’t move, enjoying the way his warm breath felt as it fanned across your face. 
He nodded quickly and watched as you disappeared into the kitchen, his hand rubbing where yours had rested. 
Eddie walked further into the home, glancing at the pictures that lined the wall. Photos from an old world, at least a century ago. Solemn faces long gone, captured in a flash. 
He chuckled at the oddities that adorned another wall, preserved insects and wilted flowers. 
“Something amusing?” You questioned, handing a glass to him and holding onto one of your own. The red wine mixed with blood from a rat you’d just captured.
You weren’t fond of rodents but it would satisfy your thirst for now. Otherwise, you risked ripping Eddie Munson’s throat out.
“Just admiring your collection,” he pointed as he took a sip, trying to hide how the tart flavor made his face twist as it coated his tongue. 
“I have loads more in the study, those just happen to be my favorite.”
“Have you always collected bugs?”
“Bugs, trinkets, people. I go through phases.”
“People?” His lip quirked as he took another sip.
“You know, friends. More than friends. Depends on my mood.”
“What type of mood are you in tonight?”
“I haven’t decided yet,” you answered playfully, both of you knowing it was a lie and reached for his hand, guiding him toward the living room. 
His palm was warm against your own, his pulse fluttering and felt throughout your cold body.
Like a jolt of electricity trying to bring you back to life.
The living room was gilded in antiquity, the walls lined with Victorian-style wallpaper. A green that matched the painted walls. 
A record player sat against one wall next to rows of records. A collection bigger than one Eddie had seen, bigger than the stock at the shop downtown. He dropped your hand, immediately intrigued. 
You watched as his eyes skimmed the titles, an impressed chuckle escaping his lips when he recognized they were alphabetized and organized by decade. 
“You listen to a little bit of everything,” he commented.
“I do but the sixties happen to be my favorite decade.”
For the music, the drugs, the sex.
“Let me guess, you were born in the wrong decade?” He snickered and you shook your head in disagreement. Coming to stand beside him, eyes dancing over features before turning to the covers as you recalled the memory of each one.
“I was born at the exact right time, got to experience everything.” 
Eddie’s face contorted, disbelief covering his features.
“You’re only, what, twenty?” He guessed.
“Something like that,” you smiled coyly and reached beside him, pulling your favorite album from the shelf; Rubber Soul by The Beatles. 
“Out of all of them, this is my favorite. Especially Nowhere Man.”
“Why?” He questioned and took another sip of his wine, fully invested.
“When I heard it, I was at a point in my life where I had lived for so long under someone else’s thumb and by someone else’s rules. I didn’t have any other perspective except the one that was given to me. I was nobody. Stuck in this endless comfortable cycle because I was too afraid to be uncomfortable. That’s the whole idea of the song, the angst of figuring yourself out and being too afraid to step out of what you’re used to.”
Eddie stood in silence, processing your words and suddenly you felt awkward. Like you’d shared too much. Made things weird or too heavy.
“I’m sorry,” you shook your head, “I didn’t mean to, like, drop my existential crisis on you.” You grimaced and moved to place the album back on the shelf but he intercepted you.
“You don’t have to apologize, there’s a lot of songs I feel that way about,” he paused. “My mom was more of an Elvis fan but sometimes she played these guys. Had me dancing in the middle of her kitchen. My little feet on her always clean tennis shoes. Personally, I’m a bigger fan of Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band. It was a little more groovy, psychedelic, but we both know that was because of the drugs,” he chuckled. 
“Definitely because of the drugs but then again, there was nothing better than dropping acid and listening to them back then,” you laughed with him, not realizing your slip.
“Back then?” His head tilted in confusion. 
“Yeah, a few years back in New York,” you waved your hand absently, eyes blink quickly. Anxiously. Suddenly very aware that this was incredibly dumb and you were on the brink of revealing your secrets.
“I have Elvis here, what was your favorite?” You changed the subject.
He hesitated for a moment, and you could feel his eyes studying the side of your face before he responded.
“Stuck On You,” he finally answered with a hint of fondness, his eyes somewhere in the past. You reached for the album and placed it on the platter, placing the tonearm down. Watching as the needle fit into the grooves of the record. 
The familiar crackle of the record player warmed you and you looked to Eddie as the song came through the speakers. 
His head began to bob as he closed his eyes and smiled to himself. You wondered where his mind went. If he was right back in the kitchen with his mom. Little feet on hers, small hands clasped to soft palms. 
Eddie held his hand out towards you, a silent invitation. Welcoming you into part of his world, one that felt more intimate than anything you’d experienced. 
The night taking a different turn than you had expected. 
You hesitated, looking up at him with uncertainty but slowly slid your hand into his larger grasp. There was a moment of visible shock when your cold skin was pressed to his again and he jerked at the temperature. Your flesh frigid like the winter you’d died.
But he pulled you close. Your chest pressed to his, one hand nervously resting on your lower back and the other holding onto your hand. 
It wasn’t so much dancing as it was swaying but you could feel his heart beating rapidly against his ribcage and you wondered if he noticed the lack of thrum from yours. 
You closed your eyes, enjoying the press of him against you. The smell of him, the way his long hair tickled your cheek when you rested your head against his shoulder, how his breath skipped when you rubbed circles at the nape of his neck. 
Eddie pulled away from you but still kept you pressed against him, his face now inches from yours. Brown eyes darting from your gaze to the swell of your lips. 
It was a look you’d never had pointed in your direction but read of plenty; longing. 
An unfamiliar emotion clawed at your throat, one you hadn’t addressed since the days you were human; want. 
You wanted Eddie, more than just his blood or his body. In a way that scared you despite all the horrors you’d seen or experienced.
You leaned closer to him, eyes fluttering closed and hoping he’d close the space. Hoping you hadn’t read him wrong. 
His lips were soft as he kissed you once, measuring your response before he kissed you again. Eddie’s hand dropped yours to hold your face on either side, deepening the kiss. Paying special attention to the swell of your bottom lip. It made your body feel like it was buzzing with warmth, how it used to feel when you’d lay out in the sun many years ago. And you wanted to bask in it, to get lost in the feeling of kissing him. Your hands wrapped in his curls, arms twined around his neck. He moved his grasp to your waist, fingers pressing into the skin. Pinky rubbing circles against your exposed thigh and your desire clouded your judgment when you pulled at his lip, sharp incisor swiping against its flesh.
“Fuck,” he breathed and pulled away from you instinctively. Pressing his fingers to his lip and pulling it back, eyebrows raised at the site of blood. 
“Got some sharp teeth, sure you’re not a vampire?” He teased and pressed his finger to his lip again, attempting to stop the blood.
It felt like your mind went blank, every thought and every excuse evading you. Unable to come up with a convincing lie. You stared at him blankly, hand covering your mouth to conceal the fangs that had sprouted in your arousal. 
Eddie’s eyebrow raised as he looked at you, at the horrified expression that painted your features. 
“I was just kidding, City Girl,” he joked but he could tell that something was off. That something was wrong. 
He reached for you but you backed away, hand still covering your mouth.
“Did you hurt yourself too?” He asked, worried and you shook your head no. 
You knew it couldn’t go on like this, that you couldn’t hide forever and have him too. 
And maybe it was for the best that he knew now so he could run. 
He should fucking run.
Your hand dropped from your face revealing the two fangs that pushed against your mouth, their tips poking out and pressing into your bottom lip. 
Time ticked by slower, the grandfather clock’s arms louder as you waited for his reaction. 
Waited for him to run out of the house and tell everyone that the Devil was real and lived in their town. 
“A-are those real?” He approached you hesitantly, eyes focused on your incisors. 
“Yes,” you whispered, closing your eyes and allowing your shoulders to sag. Feeling defeated and exposed.
“You’re a vampire?” Eddie’s voice rose several octaves as he looked at you, eyes round like saucers. The sound of his thudding heart was loud in your ears and you could only nod in response.
“What, were you planning to have me for dinner?” His voice was incredulous, brows raised high on his forehead and lost underneath his curly bangs.
“Of course not,” your voice was sincere and you began to reach towards him but thought better of it, your hand falling to your side. 
It felt impossible to explain that although you craved him that you had no intention of succumbing to your vampirisitc instincts. 
“Then why didn’t you tell me?”
“Do you think I’ve ever openly told someone I’m a vampire? I’m not trying to get a stake through the heart or be forced out into the sun.”
Eddie hesitated, chest rising and falling in quick succession as he studied you. Uncertainty evident in his gaze.
“All that stuff is true?” He asked quieter. 
“Some movies aren’t too far off,” you shrugged. Why did that matter?
“You owe me answers,” he plopped onto the couch, eyes darting to the cushion beside him.
“Are you serious?” You asked incredulously.
“Spill, City Girl.” He pointed his hands toward the couch and you obliged. 
Happy that he wasn’t running away. That for now he was staying.
“What do you want to know?”
“Everything. I mean, how old are you? When were you turned? How were you turned? What’s real and what’s fake?” He began to ramble off questions with the same curiosity you’d grown accustomed to whenever you’d walked into the bar. And the nerves that had been clawing at your throat began to subside.
“I’m twenty-two but I’ve been twenty-two since 1740.” 
“Holy shit-”
His eyes were wide once again and you could tell he was trying to do the mental math.
“Shut up,” you pushed gently at his head but laughed at his reaction. A certain levity brought to the conversation that allowed your fangs to shrink back to normal so you were more human than ghoul.
“So that makes you?
You groaned, humans and their need to put a number to everything.
“Two-hundred forty-nine. If we’re counting.” 
“Wow-”
“I know, I’m old,” You interrupted as you looked at your nails, avoiding his reaction. As though this news was worse than hearing that you were undead.
He grabbed your hand and entwined his fingers with yours. You looked at where you connected and back up at him, warmth spreading in your chest at his dimpled smile.
“I’ve always had a thing for older chicks,” he joked and you rolled your eyes.
“But you weren’t kidding, you have seen everything.”
“Well, mostly everything. I haven’t been around as long as some of the others.”
Eddie’s eyebrows shot up at your revelation. 
“Some of the others?”
“There’s an elder who’s a few thousand years old,” you shared, slightly uncomfortable. It was against the rules of the coven to share your secrets, your history, with humans. Only the Elders could decide who was worthy.
“Is that who turned you?” 
You’d never talked about that night before, it wasn’t a conversation you had with other vampires. They didn’t focus on how they became just on what they were and it was easy to adopt that mindset, to try to push the cruel memory to the recesses of your mind. 
“No,” you shook your head. 
“My maker’s name was, is, Thomas. I don’t know his exact age but I imagine he is older than even the world that I was born into.” 
“Did you ask him to change you?”
You couldn’t help but laugh. Some of the humans who’d offered themselves as concubines or servants to the Elders had begged for the gift but you couldn’t imagine being a vampire now that you’d lived the life of one and endured the years of suffering. The endless hunger and the isolation.
“Back then, the church saw anything that wasn’t scripture as the work of the Devil. There were whispers of witches and worshippers. Talk of animals that had been butchered around the village but the idea of a vampire had never even occurred to me. That night, I was out to meet a boy but it was all a lure so they could drain me. They’d left me for dead when Thomas took pity on me. It was the worst pain I’d ever experienced.”
“I’m so sorry,” he whispered and you shook your head at him. A bloody teardrop ran down your face and you quickly wiped at it, hoping he didn’t notice.
“You have no reason to apologize, it’s practically ancient history after all,” you joked with a small laugh. Trying your best to bring a bit of mirth to the situation. 
But Eddie didn’t buy it and pulled you closer until you were flush against him in a warm embrace.
“Why’d you choose Hawkins?”
“I don’t know,” you answered honestly.
“I closed my eyes, put my finger on a map, and decided to go wherever it landed.”
“Too bad it didn’t land on a much more interesting place.”
“It’s pretty interesting so far,” you hummed, letting the insinuation settle over him without another word. 
Eddie’s pulse had quieted to a steady thud, his fear subsided and it made butterfly wings unfurl at your center. 
The dormant feeling making itself known again. 
“Would you ever drink from me?” He asked barely above a whisper while he played with your fingers.
“Of course not!” You pulled away from him, gaze serious and set on his.
And he looked hurt by your words, as though there was something wrong with him that prevented you from feeding on him.
“Why not?” 
“E-Eddie, I-” you stammered, trying to compose your thoughts. Debating how honest you should be.
“I haven’t fed on a human since I moved here. I don’t know if I could stop,” you answered frankly. 
“What have you been feeding on?”
“Squirrels, rabbits. The occasional bobcat.” 
“Do they taste the same as…you know?”
“Humans? Gods no,” you sighed. 
“Do they satisfy you?”
“I haven’t been satisfied in ages.” Your gaze danced back and forth between his. A hidden meaning to your words.
Your eyebrows arched with a bit of jest.
“You can feed on me,” he insisted. 
“Eddie-” Your fangs began to grow at the thought, your jaw clenching as you imagined the way his blood would taste.
“I trust you.”
“You barely know me,” you chuckled.
“I could list everything I know about you, City Girl.”
“Name one.”
“You so want to taste me,” he baited, his words teasing and silly. 
You were happy you couldn’t blush. Even though it didn’t seem to matter, he could read you like a book. 
He pulled your hand up to his mouth, kissing the back of your hand and up your arm as you watched with eager eyes. His lips left a trail of fire behind, felt in your marrow. You stilled as he neared your shoulder, his thick curls brushing against your bare skin.
Eddie pulled you onto his lap and you went willingly, head tilted back as his tongue swiped along your neck and his mouth formed an “o” to suck at your skin. 
No bruise formed but the sensation was heavenly, a low moan escaping your lips. 
Your hips circled on his lap.
His fingers inched under your dress, warm against the jut of your hips and he pulled you closer until your lips crashed into his.
It wasn’t slow or sweet. 
It was a feral hunger unleashed. A scraping of teeth, a pull of lips. Frenzied as your mouths meshed together.
You allowed yourself to get lost in him, the world around you falling silent until the only thing you could hear were the small groans that escaped his lips.
His hands wandered further into your dress, nails scraping along your skin eliciting your own moans. 
You pushed at the hem of his shirt. 
Up
Up
Up
You pulled away to drag it over his head until his pale skin was displayed, tracing the ink etched onto his chest with your fingers lightly.
You’d always been fascinated with them; the way mortals could create beautiful scars to display.
Eddie tilted his neck, revealing his carotid that thrummed with life. You could hear the blood rushing through him. An invitation you weren’t ready to accept.
Instead you kissed his pulse, trailing lower and moved off his lap. He watched you with hooded eyes, the way you pulled at his jeans and tugged them down his thighs. Throwing them absently, your focus still remained on him.
You dragged your nails over the thick skin that covered the lean muscle of his lap, relishing the way Eddie shivered in anticipation. 
Your hand gripped his clothed cock firmly, your center aching when you felt the girth of his dick against your hand. 
He helped you push his boxers down and you watched as it sprang free, his pretty pink tip already leaking for you. Your tongue darted out, humming as his pre-cum coated your tongue; a slightly salty taste that made you hum.
Your gazes remained linked as you ran your tongue along the vein on the underside of his shaft, your saliva dribbling down its length and coating his balls. 
His hands gripped your hair, nails scraping along your scalp as you stroked him. Tongue teasing his tip once more before your mouth slowly wrapped around his cock. Mouth widened, saliva trickling from either side due to his size, and Eddie about came at the sight of you. 
You started slow, allowing his length to push against the back of your throat before hollowing your cheeks out and sucking to his tip with a loud pop.
Teasing, testing, and taking your time to drive him a little mad. 
Eddie’s moans only encouraged you, and you relished in the way his head was thrown back, curls fanned against your couch, his grip tightened on your hair as you continued to tease.
Increasing your pace, one hand following you up and down his shaft. The other massaging his balls. 
“Fucking hell-” he groaned and you continued.
“‘M not going to last like this,” he mumbled between deep sighs, losing composure.
“I want to taste you,”
“I need to feel you,”
You both stated in unison. 
Your chest was heaving despite the lack of breath and slowly you stood, positioning yourself over his lap. Holding yourself over his cock. 
Eddie took his time, kissing along your shoulders as he pushed the straps of your dress down. Mouth moving lower and lower until they hit the tops of your breasts. 
“Can I take this off?” He asked despite your obvious need, ever the gentleman.
“Please.” 
He removed your dress and hung it over the back of your couch. 
Eyes always on you, taking you in.
“You’re perfect, sweetheart,” he remarked and ran a finger along the curve of your breast. His gaze fixed on yours. 
Your nipples were hard as you anticipated the feel of his mouth, gasping when his tongue finally ran alongside the budded flesh. 
He pulled your nipple into his mouth with a tug of his teeth, tongue flicking across your perked breast. 
Instinctively, your hands curled in his hair as your hips jutted against him. The evidence of your arousal coating his cock and making a mess of his lap. 
The need was overwhelming, the lust heightened as you reached between your bodies and lined his cock up with your dripping cunt. 
He watched as you lowered yourself onto him, his eyebrows marrying in the middle at the sensation.
The stretch was delicious, causing you to ache in the best way as you wrapped around him.
You took him slowly just as you did with your mouth. 
Inch by inch, teasingly pulling off his cock to hear his gasps of pleasure. To feel his fingers press deeper into your hips. 
Until teasing wasn’t enough and you took every inch of him, moaning loudly when he was fully seated inside of you. 
Allowing yourself a moment to adjust to his size. 
“You feel so good, Eddie,” you sighed and could feel the way his cock twitched inside you at the compliment. 
You used his shoulders as leverage and began to ride him, swirling your hips to hit the spot you most enjoyed. 
“Feed on me,” he insisted, exposing his neck to you once more. 
For a moment you hesitated, thinking of all the humans you’d had. All the ones who died unintentionally and those who perished on purpose. 
But pure want overcame any hesitancy you had and you leaned closer, swiping your tongue over his pulse before you plunged your fangs into the thick skin that lined his neck.
He groaned, hands gripping your waist harder as you began to feed.
Eddie tasted just as you imagined, the richness of his blood unlike any other you’d tasted.
The lewd noise of his cock inside your wet cunt filled your home as blood began to trickle down his chest.
You licked it up not wanting to waste a drop as Eddie gripped your ass and began rutting himself deeper inside you. 
“Oh Eddie,” you whined and reached between your bodies to rub your fingers against your sensitive bud. 
You titled your head back, losing yourself in the sensation, and he began to trail kisses up your chest and to your neck. Mouth searching for yours as your hips matched his pace. 
Each of you edging closer to coming undone. 
“So fucking perfect,” he groaned into your mouth, his pace not wavering. 
Steadily pumping every inch into you. 
“Eddie, I’m going to cum,” you moaned and he began to encourage you between kisses. Coaxing your release from you and pushed his larger fingers on top of your smaller ones that worked your clit. 
It was an ecstasy you’d never experienced before; the high of human blood combined with the weightlessness an orgasm offered you. 
Your head was buzzing and it was as if the whole world disappeared around you as the orgasm took over, coursing through you in violent waves as Eddie continued to worship you. 
You repeated his name like an old prayer you once knew; over and over with conviction. 
“Sweetheart, where do you want it?”
“Fill me,” you pleaded and Eddie bucked beneath you, his seed coating your walls as he groaned your name. 
The two of you stilled, his labored breaths warm along your chest and you looked at him with a wide smile. 
You loved how his warm body felt against your cold skin, the way his heart was beating wildly against his chest, and how perspiration made his bangs cling to his forehead. 
His cheeks blossomed a bright pink. Eyes hooded and body spent. 
So beautifully human. 
He helped you off his lap but kept you close, holding you next to him as you lay on the couch. Your legs slotted between his, long nails grazing along his chest as he pressed kisses to your forehead. 
Eddie’s breathing became heavier and you knew that he was sleeping.
You felt that familiar pang, deep in your chest where your heart once beat. 
It didn’t feel like falling in love, it felt like recognition. 
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gatorbites-imagines · 6 months
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Hey gator, can you make a fic of Homelander dating a trans reader?
(Also you’re doing amazing, I’m so proud of you, and you’re flipping cool :D)
John Gillman/Homelander x ftm reader
Headcanons
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Im gonna ignore the fact that Homelander would definitely be transphobic in canon, and write this in my canon where I make the rules.
John probably wouldn’t get it in the beginning, as he was definitely raised not being told about the LGBTQ community by vought, outside of the fact that it didn’t meet Americas standards. So, imagine his surprise when he starts having feelings for you, a man.
You weren’t even another hero, you were just a member of the marketing team who worked closer to The Seven than the rest. Maybe it was the fact that you didn’t fawn over them or fear them, or how you didn’t seem to put up with their shit when they made impossible demands.
The only one you seemed to get along with in the beginning was Black Noir and Starlight, as they were both polite in their own ways.
John couldn’t figure out what it was about you, and it would take some time before he realized you were trans, which he’s able to figure out pretty quickly with his x-ray vision. Whether you wear a binder, have top and bottom surgery, or a third thing, he can spot it, since you would look different than cis guys.
He doesn’t know what to do with that information, especially since he’s already attracted to you and has tried to woo you in his own, showboaty way. Its kinda like watching a peacock strutting around trying to attract a mate.
Homelander is very bad at it though, and is kinda obvious about it too, maybe only to you though. Hes cute in his own way though, as he reminds you of a puppy at times, a very dangerous puppy with laser eyes, so in the end you make take the step and ask him out.
John would sputter and blush, but agree to go on a date. Hes never been one for privacy, so expect a lot of questions about being trans, even very intimate ones that you wouldn’t normally ask a stranger.
I can’t say hed be a great boyfriend, but that’s not because you are trans or anything. It’s mainly because he’s just not a good person in general, and he’s very busy as the leader of The Seven and keeping up his ratings.
But if your fine with both of you having busy schedules, him breaking into your apartment at any time of the day, and him not being public about your relationship as it would ruin his ratings, then I say go for it.
I don’t think he would go out of his way to research the trans experience, as he has you to answer all his questions if he has any. John doesn’t end up caring much about gender as a whole, but he will finance any surgeries or treatment if you want any, because he loves you and shows it through pampering you any chance he gets.
If you have breasts though, he would mourn if you got top surgery, since hed want them in his mouth all the time. But just give him something else to fixate on, and he will be fine. Be it your fingers or your next chest, or something third.
If you just wear a binder, expect him to keep a very close eye on your ribcage with his x-ray vision, and expect to be scolded if you wear it for too long, or if he can see it damaging your ribs. He would probably go out of his way to rip it right off you If you have worn it too long, he will just buy you a new one anyways.
All in all, he’s supportive in his own ways, even though those ways can be… questionable at times. He never actually questions if you are a man or not, and never misgenders you, and lashes out as anyone who does, but he does lack behind in certain areas. John does his best with what he’s got though.
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jamesunderwater · 1 year
Text
Water - a wolfstar microfic
Modern Coffee Shop AU ~ cw: mentions of suicide as a joke, mild transphobia, misgendering, dysphoria ~ word count: 1,499 ~ @wolfstarmicrofic
“I swear to god I’m going to kill myself if another customer starts giving me their order when all I’ve asked is ‘How are you.’” I made the joke even though I knew he’d hate it. Remus Lupin takes thoughts of my death very seriously, doesn’t even laugh when I say, ‘But my death will be Sirius!’
But I mean, no pun intended, I was Sirius about the comment.
Because, look, sometimes working in customer service feels like choosing between lying on asphalt naked on a boiling summer day and just sort of…walking into traffic just to make your headache go away. 
That didn’t make sense, I know that, but I’ve worked two double shifts in as many days and I’m icing both of my feet and I wasn’t trying to upset my best friend by talking about my death by my own hand, but a woman who was almost certainly named Lauren had just completely ignored my frantic Be with you in a moment! as I nearly poured oat milk all over myself for the fourth time today to start telling me about the lavender latte she wanted ‘grande size’ when I don’t work at a Starbucks. 
“It’s still not funny,” he’d said, too busy slowly pouring steamed milk into a mug to look me in the eye, but I knew exactly the expression he’d have used if he could. 
“Fine, I’m going to scream, Shut the fuck up and wait one goddamn second or get the fuck out of the store! if another customer starts giving me their order when all I’ve asked is ‘How are you.’ Better?” I was whispering fast and sharp in his ear, ignoring the next Lauren in line who was trying to catch my eye. 
He did look up at this, lifting a brow at me, his stupid mouth smirking just enough that only I’d notice. “Slightly.”
As my manager, maybe he should have preferred I opt for suicide, but Remus Lupin isn’t a capitalist pig like that.
The line was to the door, which meant muttering benign threats of bodily harm (to myself or the customers) was only going to delay my inevitable suffering. I moved on to the next Lauren, and the next, and then the Laurens and their Boyfriends, who were usually named John, and then the Laurens and their moms, who usually looked perturbed to be in a coffee shop run by weirdo queers and eyed the mustache coming in on my face and my round cheeks, noted my voice that had the rasp of a 14-year-old boy and the cadence of someone raised to be a woman pandering to societal standards (no matter how hard I tried to drop the sound of a question mark at the end of my sentence, or encouraged myself to talk like the concept of the name Brad), and evidently deduced that I was something rather than someone so once again answered, “How are you?” with a flat-toned, “Medium latte with nonfat milk,” without meeting my (queer) eye. 
I opened my mouth, taking in a very large breath in preparation for my verbal assault, when I felt a body swerving in beside me. “How are you?” Remus asked her again, and Lauren’s Mom blinked at being asked another question. 
“I’m fine, thank you,” her words were clippy, but at least he’d gotten an answer to the world’s most useless question. “Medium latte with nonfat milk, please.”
He’d even gotten a please. 
I went to the bathroom.
When I returned, Remus asked casually, “Switch spots?” and didn’t mention that I’d just left him alone with an endless line on a Saturday morning when we didn't have a mid-shift so that I could sulk in the bathroom for five minutes, because again, he isn’t a capitalist pig. And also, he is kind of a saint. 
So I made oat milk cappuccinos for people that asked us to put vanilla in them–in a cappuccino–for the next two hours until my brain slid out my ears, down my arms and into the espresso drain.
And then—
“Excuse me,” someone said in a tone that sounded very much like they did not care if anyone ever excused them, “I think she made my drink wrong. I was supposed to have a large oat milk latte. This is medium, and I’m pretty sure it’s whole milk.”
She made my drink wrong, she made my drink wrong, she made my drink wrong, my shoulders were so stiff they must have touched my ears. I looked down at my black tank top and my cut off shorts and my black doc martens and wondered if I should have washed my binders last night after all because maybe it wasn’t constricting my chest enough? I hadn’t even spoken, what did I do wrong? What did I do to earn she?
Remus leaned over the register, taking the cup from the customer. “He did not make your drink wrong. I called this drink out, a medium latte for Cathy. Your drink is a large oat milk latte for…” He checked the tickets waiting on the counter. “Helen?” The customer nodded, wide-eyed. “Yeah, your drink is still third in line.”
“Oh…” Helen sputtered, actively not looking at me. “I apologize, I didn’t realize.”
“Alright, well, we need to serve the next customer, so if you could just stand…” Remus gestured toward the other side of the bar, and Helen nodded, stepping back.
Even though the next person stepped forward, Remus turned to me. He didn’t ask with words, just his soft eyebrows. 
I shrugged. “One more hour, right?”
At least, in the last hour, the lobby area was so full that many people opened the door and walked right back out. My feet ached so much I had to bounce between them for a moment of relief, my back pain was flaring up from my binder, and the clattering sounds from multiple groups’ loud chatter mixed with the music playing over the speakers created the most grating noise I’ve possibly ever heard.
When Marlene and Dorcas got there to take over for us, I almost kissed them on their beautiful lesbian mouths. 
“That bad, huh?” Marls asked as she clocked in. 
“What?” I questioned.
“You didn’t make a quippy joke when I came in, didn’t make up a song about how hard the day was, didn’t compliment my new shoes. You’re truly dead inside, so it must’ve been a rough shift.”
“Could’ve been dead on the outside, but Remus wouldn’t allow it.”
“I’ll be thanking him for that, then.”
“You ready?” He came up from behind me, touching my elbow just slightly. Somehow, even after a grueling morning with no mid-shift on an overly warm Saturday when we could have been lying out on the grass somewhere getting actual vitamin D, Remus was smiling, and his eyes meant it.
Like I said. Saint.
When we got into his car, he started it and cranked the air, but didn’t move to leave the lot. Leaning back in his seat, his shoulders facing forward, he rolled his head to look at me. “Wanna talk about it?”
I didn’t. But I did. Mostly I wanted to be around him as long as possible.
“There’s not much to say, right? Whatever. I don’t pass, it is what it is.”
He didn’t say anything.
“It’s just so fucking annoying that you pass so well,” I said, not thinking about it, and only heard how it sounded a few moments after. I winced. “Sorry, I didn’t mean it like that, just, like, that woman you took over for me with, she even said please to you, when she couldn’t be bothered with me at all. Like, she fully thought you were a cis guy! I just don’t understand what I have to do!” 
I hadn’t meant to get that worked up, but I’ll admit it now, I was nearly crying, the words clogging up my throat, each and every side glance and double take at the sound of my voice clawing its way out of the recesses of my disassociated mind. 
He reached a hand over the center console, hovering it over the hand I had resting on my water bottle, our silent way to ask, Can I touch you? I lifted my hand up to meet his in response.
“I’m sorry, Sirius. This part of transitioning just…sucks.” His fingers were warm resting directly over mine, and I think I stopped noticing the pain in my back, my feet, my mind as much. “It’ll get easier eventually, but–yeah, until then,” he pressed his hand more firmly against mine, “I’m here.”
Anyway, Prongs, I think what I’m trying to say is I might be falling in love with my coworker/boss/best friend, and, um, help?
(Also, god I want to quit my job.)
(Also also, like exactly how bad would it be if I gave myself three T shots in one sitting?)
Terrified, Tired, Still Icing My Feet, Padfoot
FIN
A/N: DO NOT take more HRT than is prescribed to you by your doctor, no matter how much you want to, trust me, I've done it and I only got chastised and fucked my system up a bit. Also, would you guys want to read more of this little fic? No idea where it'd go, but I am fond of any iteration of wolfstar, so naturally I've already fallen in love with them. (Which is a little self-absorbed of me since Sirius was....heavily based on my own experience.) That being said, I did want to say that the customers at my coffee shop are much better than this--this was really more emulating the experience of working for Starbucks. 😆 all the hugs to my trans sibs reading this <3
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🏹 New Chapter 🤍
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I feel like a new chapter is starting in my life. These are a few things I have coming in the mail, the books just arrived today. The past 2 months have been a huge learning experience for me. I realized that I haven’t decentered men from my life. Not in a #Ihateallmen kind of way but in a way where “finding a man” isn’t my top priority. Obviously I would like a relationship and to eventually get married but I realized I was still making the same mistake when it came to dating. For example I wasn’t acting like the prize I was still subconsciously behaving like a pick me.
The #1 rule I learned when dating is that if a man is confusing you, interrupting your peace or not meeting your standards, drop him. I unfortunately haven’t been listening to this when it comes to my love language. I was doing really good at first until I met this really handsome guy and everything seemed fine at first except for his texting style then the second date is where the test happened and I failed. I didn’t listen, actually I ignored it and then I got into a relationship with someone I didn’t know very well and immediately regretted it after. To make a long story short, him and I were not compatible at all not in any single way. He was just super hot & tall. It started fast and ended just as quickly. Hopefully I never hear from him again it’s been almost a week since we last spoke.
The problem with that relationship was #1 we weren’t compatible, #2 I could tell he wasn’t use to being a provider, he still did what he was supposed to but he would always make little comments, #3 we rushed into things because of the attraction, #4 I ignored every red flag, I even wrote them down but still chose to ignored them, #5 He started putting me in my masculine energy when he started to do the bare minimum or less, #6 He was messing with my mental health, #7 he never brought me flowers or gifts and last but not least, #8 His personality, friends and habits were not the vibe. You don’t even wanna know.
I almost gave up on men again when I realized that it’s my fault for not listening to myself and not vetting him. I chose to continue with him every though I knew he wasn’t the one. I now know how to move forward with dating. I am not perfect but I definitely need to work on cutting men off who confuse me or interrupt my peace. No second chances. Usually when something doesn’t work out with a person weather it’s dating or friends I’ll give up, isolate myself for months and not try to meet anyone new until I’m ready again. I learned that I shouldn’t let one person stop me from meeting other great people. There are 7 billion people on earth not everyone is the same. I’m ready to keep it pushing and move forward. The universe/god only wants what is best for me and they wouldn’t want anyone in my life who isn’t meant to be there.
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twilightknight17 · 4 months
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Yesterday on P3R, Elizabeth is the best of my friends so far, burger time!, and sadness that there was no dialogue option to ruin the police’s day.
First of all, I found one single butler outfit in Tartarus, for Junpei. Which… little weird that it wasn’t a full costume set, but okay. That’s cool. Now he can have a top hat while everyone else wears their uniforms.
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After running around to fulfill a bunch of Elizabeth’s requests, including trying all the vending machine drinks, she finally asked to go out places during the day. And… I’m surprisingly delighted.
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From an in-story perspective, it’s hilarious that spending time with Liz doesn’t just absolutely drain our poor introverted Minato, but I’m also pleased that it doesn’t take my afternoon slot, because my god, I’m reaching that point where I have so many links to juggle and they’re ALL during the day. X’D There’s no way I’m maxing everyone on the first try.
Anyway, it’s Monday, and I did great on my exams!
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Mitsuru gave me a reward for doing well, but still doesn’t want to hang out with me.
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Like, by all means, have high standards, but I just wanted to walk home together. X’’’D
But that’s fine. I’m gonna go do my first outing with Elizabeth, and then check on the student council.
Elizabeth is great to spend time with. She’s so excited to see everything. We’re spending our first outing in the mall, and even though she’s like… in the mall all the time watching the door, apparently she’s never walked around before?
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She wants to make a wish in the fountain, and she’s… a little confused, but she’s got the spirit.
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Can… Can I have some of that? Why are you charging me for compendium summoning if you have that?
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It’s a shame that she insists on only going out in the afternoon, and not at night, because we’re missing a golden opportunity.
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She keeps finding more fountains and being impressed, but then I suggested karaoke, and it’s a damn shame we didn’t get to actually witness it, because Liz cannot sing, and I was prepared to be so amused.
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Velllllllvet, oh vellllvet~
Tragically, she’s not getting her wish granted anytime soon. I can just imagine Igor’s face when she requested that.
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After Margaret and Yu manage to save humanity through dance, I guess he reconsiders.
Now it’s back to school to catch the student council meeting. Odagiri isn’t there, though, because he’s still busy looking for whoever left a single cigarette butt in the boy’s bathroom. Well, heck. Better go find him.
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...I don’t believe in “Evidence is everything in court”, my dude, but you gotta have something. Just because this kid is a delinquent doesn’t mean he’s your guy.
Apparently this is like the third kid he’s accused like this. And they’re not enjoying being accused.
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……...it was probably the wrong choice, but I let him get hit. He needs to tone it down some. Is this really my Emperor and not my Justice?
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Dude. Stop taking out your trauma on the students.
Ugh. Well, that was a bust. I guess I’ll head home.
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…….the roof? The locked roof? I haven’t been up there since the Magician attacked. Why?
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Dude you’re the one who just randomly wants to go to the roof. I don’t want to be cornered by puns!
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Oh, it’s just gardening. Okay. Actually, that’s pretty cool. And planting things doesn’t actually take any time, which is also nice.
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Look at my tomatoes. They’re great. :D
The week continues, the teachers at my school continue to be useless.
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Elizabeth wants me to win the Big Eater Challenge at WildDuck Burger, so I guess we’ll go give that a shot since no one is available for Tartarus tonight.
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I see we’re going for many small burger instead of one big burger this time. Still way too much burger, even for this bottomless pit of a human.
We pop back into Escapade and run into this dude, who is struggling with the vibes.
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And we make a new social link! Is… Is the “Gourmet King” in trouble with the mafia or something??? What is wrong with everyone in this city?
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Starting to think the Dark Hour is making everyone crazy even if they can’t see it.
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WE’VE LITERALLY ONLY HUNG OUT TWICE
Thank goodness, Akihiko is gonna take me out for beef bowls and we’re gonna have a nice normal evening of bonding.
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...welp.
Kind of weird to be such a wacky fan for… basically a high-school senior on the boxing team. He’s not a celebrity, although the girls were making such a big fuss that some passers-by thought he might be. We ended up making a run for it, because he’s not thrilled with all the attention.
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Well, now I have to call you Panda-senpai. XD
We find those girls again getting accosted by some dudes, and one of them challenges Akihiko to a fight. Which, biiiig mistake.
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I kind of wanted to see him beat the shit out of all of them, but the girls called the police when they ran off, and the gang made themselves scarce as soon as the police showed up.
Despite explaining that they were the aggressors in this situation, somehow the police still think it’s partly our fault, even though nothing actually happened.
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Do it. Give me the dialogue option.
“I’m sorry, officer, my parents and twin sister died in a horrible car crash when I was seven.”
Ruin their night. I don’t know if Akihiko has parents, either. I’m not sure. Either way, fuck them up with that bit of info.
But, no dialogue option. Officer Kurosawa stepped in to take over the situation, and let us head home. Thank goodness our weapons dealer has our back. XD
The next full moon is creeping closer, and Pharos still hasn’t come back to talk to me. He said he would. He hasn’t even technically told me his name yet.
Maybe next time.
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How do you think Zach asked Rachel for Cam's hand in marriage?
So here’s the thing. Zach didn’t just have to ask Rachel. He had to ask Joe.
You see, Joe Solomon takes his role of stepdad very seriously. Once, Cammie called him dad without thinking about it, and it was pretty much the best day of his life. And yes, he loves Zach and has taken him under his wing and he’s basically his kid.
But that doesn’t mean he gets a free pass.
There was a rather intensive test. And while Rachel rolled her eyes, she let it happen—mostly because she wanted to watch it play out.
(She did make it clear that it was ultimately Cammie’s decision and they would support her no matter what. Joe agreed, although they both knew he would try and dissuade her if Zach didn’t meet his very high standards.)
So Zach shows up, and he’s a world class spy, he’s not afraid of anything. (He’s shaking in his boots.)
He has a speech planned. “Your daughter means the world to me, I will do everything in my power to make her happy for the rest of her life” blah blah blah.
Joe was not impressed.
He took him to a course that makes those American Ninja Warrior courses look like a kindergarten playground.
There was also a written test, and a practical final eerily like the Covert Ops final but like…way harder.
(Zach passed, but he almost failed a couple times.)
Joe gives him the shovel talk, but ultimately gives him his blessing.
Rachel laughs and pulls Zach to the side, letting him know that those ridiculous courses were never really a factor in whether or not he could marry Cammie. And then she told him, with a sweet smile on her face, “If you ever hurt my daughter, I will kill you with a piece of uncooked spaghetti.”
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tti episode 8
“Last time on Total Takes Island: the teams set out on a lovely canoe trip to scenic Bony Island, where they carried their boats over two miles of treacherous jungle, featuring man-eating beavers and a few grumpy geese. O’s anxiety got the best of him, and he cost his team not one, but four players. While Ass and Courtney were busy tearing their team apart, Michael and Max were the only ones keeping theirs together. Ultimately, the Fujoshis one, and O took the walk of shame- O no! Haha. I wrote that one myself. Will the Fujoshis keep up their winning streak? Will Julia ever get over her crippling fear of geese? Find out now- on Total! Takes! Island!”
Early in the morning just outside Camp, Sha-Mod and McLovin sit on the beach, building a sand mansion together and speaking in hushed tones (though no one else is up yet).
“And, I dunno, they’re both great, but I get the vibe they don’t like each other, ya know?” McLovin says, picking up a sand dollar. 
“I can’t blame Courtney. That Ass is sha-bad news, they didn’t even apologize for crinkling my Lightning!” he exclaims, pointing to the slightly-indented photo of Lightning over his face. “They’ve been a real problem since Mal left.”
“Maybe for you,” McLovin sighs. “Since Mal’s been gone, I’ve had TWO chicks on my tail! I know I’m a catch, but geez, man!”
“Well, as long as I’m here, we can stay partnering up!” Sha-Mod announces, pointing at himself. “Avoid all the girl drama, you know?”
“Thanks, bud, I knew I could count on you,”
Sha-Mod nods as a voice blares over the intercom. “Campers! Get your white-tailed butts in gear and meet me in the mess hall for your deer-ly exciting challenge! Ahaha, I am on FIRE today!”
The intercom crackles off and McLovin and Sha-Mod give each other a perplexed expression. 
The mess hall is almost entirely silent as the campers yawn and stretch, tending to bug bites and trying to down the bitter coffee from Chef’s breakfast ensemble. 
Scruffy carries a tray back to the Anon’s table, making a point to sit away from Michael as Julia, on her left side, glares daggers in everyone else’s direction. Max comes next, making fleeting eye contact with Michael before sitting on the other side of Scruffy. 
---
MICHAEL: “I really don’t get it. Just when I thought we were starting to get along, he gives me the cold shoulder! After I saved his ass, too! Maybe Julia was right…”
---
Staci sits on the other side of Michael instead, smiling brightly and spooning the apple sauce-like substance Chef was serving. “So… has anyone kin-assigned you two yet?”
Julia raises an eyebrow. “Has anyone what?”
“Oh, you know how I’m literally Staci from Revenge of the Island? I’ve been helping everyone on the team find their inner kins, too! Well… I haven’t told them yet, but I’ve been keeping a list,” Staci grins, pulling out a thick, fuzzy pink diary and dropping it on the table. “Ok, so, Max is Scarlett from Pahkitew (ironically, hah), Scary is Scary Girl from the 2023 reboot, Scruffy is Sierra… hmmm,”
Staci takes a moment to scan the two girls over, judging their facial expressions and body language before smiling and nodding. “Gwen and Heather,”
“Excuse me?”
“It’s the standard loner and popular mean girl dynamic, duh,”
Michael rolls her eyes. “Not to rain on your parade, but doesn’t this whole kin-assigning thing feel like yet another way to be forcibly labeled based off of surface-level traits?”
“That’s such a Gwen answer,”
“Okay, I’m outta here,” Michael says, climbing over the bench. 
Chris suddenly ducks inside the hall, grinning widely. “Hope you’re all enjoying your breakfast, campers, because this challenge is gonna be a doozy! Outside, you'll find your supplies for today’s, um, adventure,”
The campers look nervous and stand, following Chris outside to where two large crates are waiting, unopened. Scruffy shakes their head. 
“Today’s challenge is a personal favorite of mine: hunting!” he beams, opening a crate and pulling out a neon pink paintball gun. “Unfortunately, due to province law, I can’t give you anything more powerful than paint without getting everyone a license, which sounds boooring!” he tosses the paintball gun to Courtney. 
“Welcome to the second ever paintball deer hunt! Now, normally, I’d assign hunters and deer for you, but I think it’d be funnier to watch you all sort it out. You have five minutes to decide who’s hunting- and who’s being hunted!”
The teams give each other anxious glances as Chris walks away. 
Courtney turns to the Fujoshis and tosses the gun in their hands to Sha-Mod. 
---
COURTNEY: “Believe it or not, I am a very non-confrontational person. My strategy from the beginning has been the fly under the radar and focus on defense rather than offense. Hunting? No can do. But I can hide!”
---
“If Sha-Mod is a hunter, I wanna be a hunter, too!” McLovin yells, waving his hand around. Courtney shrugs and tosses him a gun from the crate. 
“Oh, me, too. Those little deer outfits are terrible,” Ass nods. Courtney hesitates for a moment, gun still in their hands until Caesar butts in. 
“Um, no. I’m not getting paint on this suit. Gun me, please,” he extends his hands. 
“I was first!”
“Rock paper scissors for it?”
Both hold their palms flat in front of them and tap their fists against them three times. As Ass throws scissors, Caesar walks behind them and takes the gun and safety glasses from Courtney. 
“Hey! I thought we were playing for that!”
“What are you, five?” Caesar chuckles. “Come on, Bonbon, let’s go find somewhere quiet.”
Bonnie adjusts the deer tail and antler headband before walking off into the woods with Caesar. Ass sighs, but puts on the accessories with Courtney without another complaint. McLovin and Sha-Mod fist-bump, and then run into the woods together. 
“Obviously, I’ll be taking one of these,” Max says, picking a neon blue gun from the crate. “Let’s see… Scary?”
Scary growls at him, but accepts their paintball gun and safety gear anyway before bounding off into the woods, giggling. 
“Hm…” Max surveys the rest of the team. “S-”
“I volunteer!” Staci yells, waving their hand in the air. “My aunt’s husband’s grandfather taught me how to shoot, and my great-great-great-”
“Alright! Just take it!” Max shoves the gun into their arms. “Anyone else?”
Michael smiles, and opens her mouth. “I-”
“Kelly!” Max says, tossing them the gun before pointing ahead and walking straight past Michael. “Alright, let’s move out.”
---
MICHAEL: “...am I crazy? Am I going insane? Is that it? Did I just imagine everything?!”
---
MAX: “Michael is a liability to the team. She’s a good player, but she’s distracting me. I mean, she’s a distraction,” he pauses, crossing his arms and glaring at the camera. “I didn’t mean it like that!”
---
“Does this tail make my arse look big, baby?” Austin asks, looking around his back. 
“Yes, dear,” Kelly says, loading their gun with blue paintballs. 
“Groovy!” 
The two walk through the woods, holding hands and paying little attention to their surroundings. The morning sun shines through the foliage above as they enter a clearing. 
“Wanna help me practice?” Kelly smiles, finishing up on their gun. 
---
Austin takes a bite out of the apple Kelly handed him before putting it on his head and standing still with his back against a tree. 
Kelly holds the gun’s aim up to her left eye, closing her right and taking aim. 
“Are you sure this is safe, baby?”
“Yeah, I saw it in a movie once,” 
“Well, in that case, fire away!” Austin beams, putting his hands on his hips.
Kelly readjusts the gun once again and aims, then re-aims it, before finally pulling the trigger. 
Click. 
Nothing happens. Austin keeps smiling, still frozen in place. “I’m waiting, baby!”
Kelly pulls the trigger again- still, nothing. They frown and lower the gun. “I think this one’s jammed or something,” 
Austin slouches and the apple rolls off his head. He walks over and Kelly hands him the gun, which he inspects thoroughly by looking straight down the barrel. “I don’t see anything, baby,”
“Maybe it’s the trigger. What’re we gonna do?”
Austin thinks for a moment. “Let’s go ask someone for help. I’m sure they’ll be willing to lend a hand!”
The two hear some rustling from a few bushes nearby and turn, look at each other, and then peek out of the clearing onto the path from which the noise came. 
“I don’t know, I guess I thought we were friends,” Michael sighs, crossing her arms against her chest and leaning against a tree. Her usual parka is tucked somewhere back at camp so as to avoid getting paint on it, leaving her in a black tank top. Julia sits on a rock beside her, picking at her cuticles. 
“Yeah, well, you get what you pay for. I tried to tell you he has a stick up his butt,”
“Yeah… I guess you’re right,” 
Kelly and Austin step through the foliage, smiling. “Hey, girls!” Kelly laughs nervously. 
Julia and Michael both raise an eyebrow. 
“We were wondering if you cool cats could lend us some advice,”
Julia’s “No” and Michael’s “What’s up?” overlap, but Austin continues nonetheless.
“Our thingy is straight jammed, baby, very ungroovy,”
“Um… well, I can take a look at it,” Michael shrugs. “No guarantees I’ll know what to do, though.”
“Yeah, have fun with that. I’m gonna go to the kitchen, I’m starving,” Julia says, starting off down the trail. Michael takes the gun from Kelly, looking it over before nodding. 
“Your safety is still on,” she says, taking it out and handing the paintball gun back to Kelly before a rustling from the bushes behind them grabs their attention. All three turn- Kelly aims the now-working gun and fires a few shots into the woods, hitting nothing. 
“Save your ammo-” Michael starts before a round of paintballs hits her in the stomach. “Aw, man, what the hell!”
Sha-Mod and McLovin giggle from behind the bushes, crouching down army-style while they reload. “Hit her again!” McLovin smirks. 
“Uh, shouldn’t we sha-try for the other players, too?”
“We will, I just love seeing that dumb look on her face!”
“Can’t sha-argue with that!” 
Sha-Mod fires at Michael again, practically coating her in pink from the neck-down. “You got me, alright! Jesus!”
McLovin suddenly springs up, aiming his gun and firing at Austin, who grabs Michael’s shoulders and uses her as a shield. 
“What the hell!” she yelps. Austin smiles apologetically and then runs into the woods with Kelly, leaving Michael dripping in pink. 
---
“I’m honestly kinda surprised that the network let you on, man,” Scruffy says, taking notes as they and Frollo walk down the trail. “Usually TV syndicates don’t like having religious views expressed on teen shows.”
“It was God’s will to have me spread his word on this program,” Frollo answers plainly. Scruffy raises an eyebrow, but doesn’t say anything else as the two walk down the trail. 
---
Frollo sits in the confessional, reading his Bible in complete silence.
---
Caesar offers Bonnie a stick of gum, which they accept. The two are sitting in a sunny flower patch at the mouth of a small pond, a crystal-clear waterfall pouring fresh water from the rock formation above. 
“Who knew nature could be so tolerable?” Caesar sighs, kicking back with his hands behind his head. Bonnie nods in agreement. “If only the woods had a wifi connection, this would be paradise,”
A sudden rustling in the woods beyond catches both of their attention and Caesar jumps up, clumsily holding the gun and stepping in front of Bonnie. He peers through the tall bushes surrounding the oasis and sees Scruffy and Frollo walking the trail, then chuckles. 
“Revenge is a dish best served pink,” he takes aim just in time for Frollo to notice, turning and holding up his Bible like a shield. 
Caesar shoots, hitting the book several times as Scruffy hits the deck and army crawls behind a nearby log. The intensity of the paint pellets eventually causes Frollo to stumble backwards, falling next to his walk-buddy. 
“Hey!” Bonnie shouts. 
Caesar whips around, but it’s too late. Staci shoots Bonnie three times in the chest, leaving them covered in blue. 
“Bonbon, NO!” he shouts, extending a hand for them to catch as they dramatically fall backwards. Time seems to slow down as the two reach for each other, but Caesar slips, falling on his paintball gun and crushing it, and Bonnie simply lands on their butt, unscathed. 
“Haha! That’s for great-great-great uncle Teddy, suckers!” Staci shouts before running off into the woods. 
---
“I think I hear something, man,” Sha-Mod whispers, holding a finger to Lightning’s lips and pressing his ear against the rocky formation, as if trying to hear through it. 
He then nods. “Sounds like those two girls from the other team- or maybe one of those girls and that little guy,” 
McLovin follows his footsteps, also listening in. “Sounds like a cave. Let’s corner them!”
The two fist bump and jog around to the other side of the stone hill, stopping and leaning against the very outer corners of the mouth of a large cave. The echoes of two high-pitched voices follow, though their dialogue is too jumbled to make out. 
“On three,” Sha-Mod whispers. “One- 
-Two-
-Three!”
McLovin and Sha-Mod come running in, screaming and brandishing their weapons like machine guns, shooting everywhere except for their targets. Sha-Mod runs further, crashing into the two shadowy figures at the back of the cave and sending all three to the floor. 
“HEY!” Courtney shouts. 
Ass hisses. "Nice going, genius!"
Sha-Mod opens his eyes, his expression changed to one of pure terror. He immediately jumps back to his feet as Courtney and Ass groan, and then stand. McLovin sucks in his breath from behind the trio. 
“Uh…”
Courtney rubs their head, groaning before realizing they can’t stand up straight. They open their eyes wider and see their antlers and Ass’ antlers are intertwined. Both gasp, and then narrow their eyes at each other.
“Let go,” Ass insists. 
“I’m not holding on!”
Sha-Mod looks around nervously while McLovin starts to back away slowly as the two bicker. Eventually, Ass turns, stepping over to the boys and dragging a stubborn Courtney with them, and they grab the gun from Sha-Mod’s hands. 
McLovin and Sha-Mod run out of the cave, screaming and covered in pink paint as Courtney and Ass chase them. 
---
Julia walks along the path back to where she’d left Michael, Kelly, and Austin, seemingly bored and perfectly calm. 
She pauses as Chris’ voice blares over the intercom: “Don’t forget that removing your antlers or tail will result in an immediate elimination! Hahaha,” 
Julia rolls her eyes before hearing a rustling behind her. She turns, terrified, before Scary swings down from a tree branch, hanging upside down as they shoot her. 
“Hey! HEY!” she screams. “I’m on YOUR team! Wait- this isn't paint!” she yelps as she's pelted with pebbles, covering her in tiny bruises.
Scary giggles and disappears back into the canopy.
“FREAK!”
Michael comes trudging down the path seconds later, sulking and peeling drying paint off her skin. “What happened to you?” the two ask in unison. 
---
Chris leans back in his director’s chair, putting his hands behind his head and sighing as Chef arrives with another platter of fresh crepes. 
He takes a seat at the table seconds later, enjoying the open air and sunshine as the two enjoy their mid-challenge brunch just outside of the woods, relishing in the screams of campers and the sound of paintballs splattering. 
“This really is what I needed. No radiation, no dinosaurs, just some good old fashioned nostalgia-based torture,” Chris grins. “Oh, my- is that lemon curd I spy?”
Chef nods. “Imported,”
Chris licks his lips, but just before he can reach across the table, Sha-Mod, McLovin, Ass, and Courtney run out of the woods, the latter still chasing and shooting at the former, taking turns on the gun as their antlers are still tangled.
As they reach the top of the hill separating the craft services tent from the woods, they trip on each other and roll down the slope straight into the breakfast table. The campers groan, lying on the crushed array of berries, creams, and crepes. 
Chris’ shocked stare turns into one of pure anger in seconds. “Seriously?! That was my brunch, dudes! Do you know how long crepes take to make?!”
Chef rolls his eyes. 
“Eliminated! Disqualified! Done!” Chris pulls out his megaphone and yells into it “Anons in the area, get over here!”
Kelly and Austin, as well as Max, Staci, and Scary come strolling out of the forest, surrounding the pile of Fujoshis on the tattered mess that used to be a nice wooden table. 
Chris jabs a finger down. “Take them out, please,”
Kelly grins, aims, and fires directly at Ass, and Scary shoots Courtney somewhere around sixty times before running out of ammo. 
Chef turns to Chris. “Where’d she get the extra paintballs from?”
“Who cares? Fujos, you’re out! I’ll see you at the campfire tonight- as soon as you’re done cleaning this mess and making me a new brunch!”
The team groans in unison. 
---
“Well, that could’ve gone worse,” Max says, stirring the odd green soup Chef was serving for dinner. The Fujoshis- save for Bonnie and Caesar, who were sitting alone at their table- were off on bathroom cleaning duty, as assigned to them by a still-hangry Chris. 
“You did great, baby!” Austin smiles, wrapping an arm around Kelly’s shoulders. “I’m so proud!”
Kelly beams. Michael rolls her eyes. 
“Are we not gonna talk about the problem, here?!” Julia snaps, rotating an ice pack around the multiple bruises on her body. “I want that little emo weirdo gone!”
Everyone in the group turns to Scary in the kitchen, who’s busy throwing mysterious ingredients into the soup while Chef’s back is turned. 
“That’s something we can agree on,” Max sighs. “But it’s not the right time. Scary is unpredictable, but she’s a good player, and we need that.”
Julia scoffs. “When did you get all soft?” 
“I’M NOT- nevermind. I said no, so the answer is no,” 
“Whatever, Elmo,”
Max grumbles and crosses his arms, but doesn’t press the matter any further. Frollo rolls his eyes, and Scruffy jots something down. 
---
SCRUFFY: “There’s a lot going on on the team that I’m not being told about. It’s hard to report on facts when everyone keeps being so vague… I almost wish I got placed with the Fujoshis, at least their losing streak is something to write about!”
---
“Fujoshis, you’re here because your team sucks, you ruined my crepes, and your complete lack of coordination, aside from when you’re going after your own team members, is honestly pretty pathetic,” Chris says. “Unfortunately, only one of you will be going home tonight.”
“McLovin- you’re safe. Courtney, Bonnie, Caesar. You get to stay,”
Ass and Sha-Mod look at each other nervously. Courtney smirks a little. 
---
COURTNEY: “I’m not a vindictive person. I’m not! Let's just say I'm not a fan of the attitude demonstrated by some members on the team. But… we wouldn’t have lost today if someone had been able to see who he was shooting.”
---
Chris grins. “And the final marshmallow…
Goes…
To…
…Ass. Sha-Mod, I’m sorry man- Not!” Chris’ smile drops. “Now get out.”
Sha-Mod sighs, and even the crinkled Lightning picture looks sad. He stands and begins walking down the docks, boarding the boat of losers as McLovin follows after him. 
“I’ll win this for us, bro! We’ll have a real mansion someday! With real giant sand dollars!”
Sha-Mod waves as the boat speeds away. “I believe in youuuuuuu!”
“Wow, how touching,” Chris says in a monotone voice. “Will McLovin actually live up to his promises? Will Ass and Courtney ever make up? Find out next time- on Total! Takes! Island!”
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Text
Forged in Love
Hephaestus x Aphrodite!reader
Page break credits @firefly-graphics
Master list
Merry Christmas!
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Part 4
taglist: @streets-in-paradise @floraroselaughter
taglist open :)
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You and Athena dispersed with everyone back to the main decorated room.“Okay, what’s up?”  Athena asked you.
“What do you mean?”  You responded.
“I saw you looking at Hephaestus”  
“I looked at him like everyone did when he walked up, what is your point?”
“Oh please, I have known you too long for that.  That wasn’t a ‘I’m a gossip whore, what more drama can this guy bring?’ that was a ‘I am interested in this guy’ look”.  Your cheeks grew red.
“No it wasn’t, I don’t know him and I barely saw him, he covered himself up so even if I wanted to see him, not that I do, it wouldn’t matter anyway because he left.”  You responded defensively.
“He left the room, but not the party.”  You could tell she was trying to bait you and you wouldn’t give her the satisfaction.
“Oh, I didn’t even notice.”  You tried to sound casual even though it was the truth.
“I have met him, you know.”  She told you.  This got your attention.
“What? How have you never told me?” 
“I didn’t say anything because it wasn’t relevant and you are always telling me how much you don’t like to gossip.”  She gave you a pointed look.  You rolled your eyes because she was right.
“Okay,  but at least tell me why the rumors depict him as a gruesome figure, when I couldn’t see any.  I am no trying to gossip, just set the record straight.”  You took a sip from your glass.  She gave you a look that said, I don’t believe you for a second.
“He doesn’t meet the Olympic standard of beauty and if you want to know why, you will have to see for yourself.”
“I only would care out of professional curiosity.”  You told her.
“Sure.”  She took a sip and looked around.  “Oh, I need to say hello to Hecate, so while I do that you go find your mystery man.”
“He is not my mystery man, ‘Thena.  And even so, he isn’t here.”
“Sure he is, he is right out there on the balcony.”  You followed where she motioned and sure enough, there he was, a cloaked figure that you could barely make out.
“How did you even see him?  I barely see him and I am looking for him.”  You looked at her amazed.
“I see things many don’t.”  She responded.  And that was the truth, which made sense given she was the goddess of strategic warfare and wisdom.  “Now, I must go save Hecate from Apollo, she is much too nice to save herself.”  With that she grabbed your glass from your hands and nudged you towards the balcony.
You walked slowly, trying to think of something to say.  Usually you didn’t have to start conversations as gods tripped over themselves to win your attention but you knew he was no ordinary god. 
“Well, here goes nothing”  You thought to yourself, and stepped into the night air.
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     The figure didn't move so you cleared your throat.  He turned slightly, acknowledging your presence.
“Not one for parties?”  You asked as lightly as you could.  You cringed thinking duh, he never comes to any.  You stayed slightly behind him, and far enough way to seem like less of a threat.
“No.”  He finally responded.  The voice was deep, gruff, and sexier than you expected.
“Honestly, me either.”  You told him honestly.
He half turned, and you saw his hair peek out of his hood.  You wanted to look but did your best to not stare so you looked out at the beautiful night sky.  Nyx really outdid herself, even for a party.
He breathed a short laugh.  “I seriously doubt that.”  
“Why do you doubt it?”  You half turned to him.
“Because you are the goddess of love and beauty, isn’t your whole thing being admired?”  It was the most he had said to you yet.  But it wasn’t accusatory, merely an observation
“Maybe once upon a time, eons ago.  But there is more to me than meets the eye, and I think we should judge others based on their actions and personalities, and not based on rumors or looks.”  You now looked at him pointedly.  He faced you but you couldn’t see his face given the night and he was in a shadow so any light coming from inside did not shine on him.
“If only everyone thought that.” You weren’t sure if he meant that for you or not so you changed the subject.
“Sounds like you know who I am then.”  You continued.
“Who doesn’t? Just because I don’t know everyone in that room doesn’t mean I don’t know of them.”   He placed his hand in view on the ledge.
“I suppose that is fair.  I guess we are on the same page, then.  I only know rumors of you, and you only know the same of me.”  You took the slightest step closer.  He didn’t miss it and stiffened but didn’t move.
“I suppose.  Although my rumors are worse.”
“I don’t know, you just told me you thought I was self obsessed, selfish, and shallow.”
“I didn’t say that.”
“But you thought it.”
“True.”  You laughed and the tension eased slightly.  
“I appreciate your honesty.  It is hard to come by.”
“Lying isn’t productive or helpful.”
“I agree.”  You told him.  He sighed.
“Am I bothering you?”  A pause.
“No.”
“Then I am flattered.  Again, since what I know of you is speculation, I would think that I am one of the few who at the least, you don’t hate.”
“What makes you think I don’t hate you?”  You detected humor in his deep voice.
“Are you making jokes now?”
“I suppose I am.”
“Then I am even more flattered.  But what else would you expect from a shallow goddess?”  You said with humor.
“Thank you.”
“For what?”  You asked curiously.
“For taking a few moments without trying to discover my secrets.  By now someone would have mentioned my appearance.”  You could hear the hurt and vulnerability in his voice.
“I will be honest with you Hephaestus,”  You began softly.  “I am curious about the rumors and your cloak only adds to your mystery, but looks aren’t everything.”  He couldn’t see your face, but you hoped he heard the smile in your voice.
“Hmm, of all the gods, it is not from your lips I would have expected to hear the statement.”
“I wonder who you would expect to hear it from?”  You gently probed.
“Athena.  Or Artemis, one of the abstinent gods.”  He responded quickly.
“Athena is my closest friend.” You offered, “She is very wise, but that is unsurprising.”
“She is also kind when she wants to be.  She talks about you.”  He offered.
“Oh really?  No wonder you had the idea of me you did.”  You nervously chuckled.
“On the contrary, she had nothing but kind words for her friend.  She thinks highly of you and she is wise, so there might be something to it.”  You swore you saw a smile.
“I have to say, if I didn’t know better I would think you were smitten with her.”  You teased.  This was the wrong thing to say you quickly discovered.  He tensed and took a step further into the shadows.
“No.  She is nothing more than someone I have talked to on no more than a few occasions.  I don’t bother with those kinds of feelings.”
“I can’t help but wonder why you wouldn’t consider her a friend if you have talked on more than one occasion.  Especially since you both have decided romance is a waste of time.”  You wanted to be kind, but the way he said the comment irked you.
“Not to offend the goddess of romance, but yes, it is a waste of time.”  He said sarcastically.  He clearly could care less if he offended you.  This gave you the courage to say,
“I’ll have you know that she doesn’t think it is waste, but something unimportant to herself.  She has never once made me feel that my purpose is unimportant.  In fact, she can see the beauty in many things including love, and since she is wise maybe there is something to that opinion, as you say.”  You let out a sharp breath.
Calmly he stated, “She is wise, but in my experience loving someone never ends well.”  You had heard some of his history so you wanted to be careful.
“No, it doesn’t always end well, but does that mean it wasn’t worth it?”  You could tell he was thinking.
“In my experience, yes, it is better to not get hurt.”
“Being alone can also hurt, so is there really winning that?”  You quietly asked.
“It hurts less.”  He stated.
“I am sorry.  No one deserves to feel alone.  Even if they are alone.”
“You are not at all what I expected.”  You could tell he was looking at you and you badly wanted to see his face.
“And neither are you.  But you have an unfair advantage.”
“And what advantage is that?” He asked unbelievingly.
“You get to see my face, but I do not get to see yours.”  You tried to sound more bold than you felt.  He seemed to bristle.
“And you never will.”  He said darkly.
“Why not?”  You wouldn’t back down now.
“Not all rumors are false.”  He stated.
“Not all rumors are true.”  You countered.  He sighed and rubbed a hand over his face.
“This one is true.”
“Which one is true?”  You wanted him to be clear.
“The one where I am a hideous beast.”  He said it in such a way that made you think he had heard it many times from others and himself.  And it broke your heart.
“Do I get to decide for myself if that is true, or do I just have to believe the rumor?”  You asked softly, moving towards him slightly.  He didn’t move away and you considered that a small win.
“You really want to see?”  He asked softly.
“I do.”  You answered kindly.
“I guess it wouldn’t change anything if you were as repulsed as everyone else.”  He said so in such a vulnerable brokenness you wanted to cry for him.  You didn’t say anything, just let him continue to make his decision.  After a pause,
“Hephaestus, you have a choice here.  I won’t pressure you, but know I do want to see you, not for fuel to gossip about, but because I am genuinely curious about you now.  But you have no reason to trust me and I understand that so if you want me to walk away, I will.”  He took a deep breath and stepped close to you out of the shadows.  He slowly pulled his hood back and you saw his face for the first time and your breath hitched.  Not because he repulsed you but the opposite.  He was beautiful.  Your first glimpse of him earlier was correct.  He had a chiseled jaw, intense stare, hardened features, and his eyes seemed like they bore into your soul.  The only difference was that he had stubble on his face, like he didn’t care how he appeared, except it only added to his appeal.  Your mouth opened slightly.
“I told you.”  He muttered.  Before he could back away you took a step closer.
“No, not at all.  The opposite.  I am trying to understand why you hide your face at all.  I see no imperfections.”
“You flatter.”
“I don’t flatter, I am to be flattered, remember?”  Any humor vanished quickly given the moment.  And how close he was, yet he moved impossibly closer. He was so close you could feel his breath.  He pulled some of his hair away to show a scar above his eye.  You couldn’t help but reach up and touch it.  This caused him to close his eyes.
“This is a scar, not a grotesque imperfection.  This is not something to cause such a horrid rumor.”  You said so softly you didn’t know if you said it out loud or not.  You must have because he opened his eyes and continued his intense stare.  You weren’t sure if he knew how to do anything less intense.  He reached down to put his hand on your cheek causing your eyes to flutter, but you kept eye contact. He had a way about him that you couldn’t look away, not because it was like a train wreck, but because he commanded that respect.  You didn’t think he even knew it.
“Maybe, but you missed the most obvious part.”  You frowned, not understanding.  He backed away and you missed his warmth.  He then showed you his arm.  Or rather, where an arm would be.  In its place was a metallic arm that radiated power, and it ended at his shoulder.  You stared in awe.
“Did you make it?”  You asked.
“Yes.”
“It’s beautiful.  The craftsmanship is divine.”
“Glad you like it,”  He said, a little confused and amused.
“Someday you will have to tell me the story.”  You didn’t push for it now, knowing this had to be more than he was ready for, but thankful he complied with your probing.
“Hmm someday.”  He said distractedly, still gazing.
You slowly reached for him.
“Can you feel this?”  You questioned, lightly putting your hand on his ‘arm’.
“Yes.”  He closed his eyes.  His arm was cool, as metal would be on a cold night but it didn’t bother you.
“Fascinating.  You truly are talented to be able to create such a masterpiece.”
“You don’t have to say things you think I want to hear.”  His eyes were once again peering into your soul.
“I thought we were always being honest?”  You countered.  “I know what beauty is, remember.”
He smirked.
“I suppose you would.”  You smiled at him but shivered, as the air was getting much cooler.  You took your hand away and wrapped it around yourself, frustrated for the lack of contact with this mysterious man.
“You’re cold.”  It was a statement, and he took his cloak off and wrapped it around you.  It was warm, and smelled like fire metal, and something so manly, so lovely, so divine; so like him.  You liked it.
“Thank you.”  You said sincerely.  “You must spend a lot of time in your forges, your cloak smells of fire and metal.”  You smiled jovially.  His smile lessened.
“I am sorry, I wasn't thinking.”  He made a move to take it but you sheltered it from his grasp.
“It was not an insult, and you are not taking away my warmth.”  He chuckled,
“I am sorry my lady, I meant no harm.”
“Good, otherwise I would have to leave for such insolence”  You mocked, throwing your nose in the air.
“My apologies, please don’t leave.”  And you knew he meant it.
“Why would I, when I am sincerely enjoying getting to know you?”  You answered seriously.
He made a move to put his arm on yours but stopped.
“Why do you hesitate?” You asked.
“My presence, my touch, is not usually wanted, I am not used to such warmth.”
“Well…get used to it.” You answered by looking him straight on.  He smiled for real, and you could tell this genuinely meant something to him.
“Aphrodite, there you are!”  Zeus interrupted.  “I see you have met Hephaestus,  He doesn’t like these things but I made him promise to stay for awhile, I am glad you trapped him into staying haha!”  he clearly was enjoying the ambrosia a bit too much.
“Yes, my lord, I have kept him here longer than I am sure he wanted to stay.” You said mostly looking at Hephaestus.  He just kept looking at you, no expression to be found so you didn’t know what he was feeling.
“Well, come join the party!  Have you said hello to Ares?” He wiggled his eyebrows and laughed at what he thought was clever. Ever full of tact.
“I will, my lord, in a moment.”  
“No now, we must enjoy the evening otherwise Demeter might not like it.”  He said half bitterly.  You knew he wanted everyone to enjoy the night that he put on to snub her, and you just weren’t in the mood but meekly nodded.  He nodded satisfactorily, and walked back inside.
“I guess I have to go.”  You told Hephaestus.
“So it seems.” His voice never revealed how he felt and you wished you could read him better.
“I suppose I will see you at the next gathering?”  You asked more hopeful than you meant to betray.
“I suppose you will.”  He said.
“Until the next time then”  You said, turning to go inside.
He grabbed your hand and kissed it, causing your stomach to flip.  You didn’t trust your voice to respond to such tenderness ironically, but halfway back towards the room you thought to say,
“You lied, by the way.”
“I did?”  He questioned.
“You said this rumor was true. It is not”  You smiled and turned to go back inside.  You missed the heartfelt smile he wouldn’t be dropping any time soon.
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bonesandthebees · 5 months
Note
Then there’s what everyone else thinks is happening. Let’s start with Sam. He thinks it’s just an exercise to see how his heir think. A way to be pushed to pick an heir or an idea from Techno to help him make up his mind. Tomys comes out the best. Sam probably doesn’t notice that Phil set it up this way. Both of them are narrative foils or like parallels. Both in Stubbornness in listening to other people (Phil and Wilbur respectively). Probably also in personality. Idk I get the feeling that Sam is very fond of Tomys because the kid remind him of his younger self, aka he’s a vague idea of what the kid Sam never had could have been like.
Anyway, depending on how much Techno knows about his students (and he definitely knows about Niki) it!s set up to make the other two look bad. Tomys then looks good. Sam now feels like his decision to bring in a new potential heir has been justified and might stop pushing back against Phil as much. Similarly, now that Tomys is proven to be a decent option and a more favourable future for Wilbur, Phil can start sorta pushing that by manipulating Sam via playing into his ego and how good of a decision it was.
Niki and Quackity might think Wilbur had something to do with it since, at first, it seems like the perfect opportunity to show off their skills while Tomys makes a fool out of himself. Wilbur is there and this is literally what they talked about at the meeting and what Schlatt tried to goat him into.
But then both Quackity and Niki “mess up” (by Phil’s standards) and Tomys comes up out well. While this doesn’t incriminated Wilbur perce. It does make him look like he knew about it and didn’t warn them before hand (even though they might be away he had no option to do so. Either way, everyone always seems to assume he knows everything, which makes it interesting when he doesn’t and I can’t wait to see that play out more. Wilbur not knowing about something while his friends accuse him of doing would be very good angst.
Anyway, I wonder if Niki thinks he knew and is lying / keeping things from her again. [Across the table, Niki’s expression darkened. Wilbur didn’t notice it.] I’m eyeing this. There’s a lot of reasons for he being upset. It probably has to do with Sam smiling at Tomys which proves the kid ‘won’. It’s not necessarily directed at Wilbur, but it probably,y still has consequences for him. She does still look to him to try and see how badly she messed up. She assumes he knows.
(2/3)
-🌲
sam definitely has a soft spot for tomys. it's partly because he's the youngest and sam gives him a lot of leeway for his behavior as a result. he's also older now than he was when niki and quackity were children at the palace (not by much but yknow), and in my mind sam's the kind of guy who gets nicer and more fond of kids the older he gets. and like you pointed out, he sees some of himself in tommy, whereas he never saw much of himself in niki or quackity.
like I said in the previous ask, it wasn't necessarily designed to make quackity and niki look bad but rather just compare the three of them side by side. but then phil was able to take advantage of the answers and twist them to make tommy look like the best option out of the three of them.
while the whole situation definitely doesn't make wilbur look good, I think in this scenario both niki and quackity recognize wilbur probably would've warned them if he had the opportunity. it's not a strict test per se, and yes it looks bad but it's not a huge huge deal. and I will say, niki's darkening expression was not directed at wilbur.
I like where your head is at though!! I love seeing you analyze all the minute bits of these interactions it's so fun for me
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anewstartrekfan · 1 year
Text
Star Trek Rambles: Lenore Karidian: A Wonderful Subversion
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Lenore Karidian is one of the best women Star Trek ever wrote (I say this a someone who has only seen a season and a half of tos) I know not a high bar but legitimately. She had Captain Kirk eating out of the palm of her hand. Even when he was trying to fish from her she managed to turn it around in her favor. I truly believe she never actually gave a shit about Kirk. It was all a means to an end to protect her father. What’s my proof?
Their first little date, about 5 minutes after meeting each other, they ditch a party she was late for, (because she murdered the host), and then lead Kirk down a path, TO WHERE SHE KILLED THE LAST GUY
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If you ask me she was luring Kirk there to kill him. How, I’m not sure, but I can assume she had something planned for when they were going to kiss.
Oh but what about their flirting on the enterprise? The scene where Kirk proclaims that women remain women no matter what.
That scene is a farce in terms of the romance and revealing when it comes to Lenore’s beliefs. Kirk is giving her this tour to try and get her guard down so he can get info on her father. However Lenore notices this, calls him out for it, and turns it around on Kirk. Forcing him to answer her questions, like if he is actually human, and if the women on the enterprise are human as well.
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“Are you captain? Human?”
“Has the machine changed them? Made them, just people instead of women?”
It’s subtle but she isn’t just fake flirting here. She’s othering Kirk and his crew. Her later attempt on Kirk’s life involves overloading a phaser, which would destroy not only Kirk’s cabin but those around it. Kirk has to call for an emergency evacuation while he desperately searches for it. It’s easy to justify killing the Tarsus 9 because they weren’t human by her father’s standards anyway, but what about Kirk’s crew? She had to other them as well to justify it.
“All this, and power too. Caesar of the stars, and cleopatra to worship you.”
I spoke in a prior blog about how Kodos sees technology as something that has made humanity inhuman. That removed the struggle from life, emphasizing the so called tradition of man shaping his destiny himself without tools. Aka, fascism. Lenore does this as well, and displays a sort of devotion to tradition when she quotes Star light Star bright and talks about how old the stars are. When Kirk insists he’s human, she doesn’t agree with him. Instead she shifts the topic to the women in the crew. When Kirk gives his line about how women will always be women, Lenore again changes the subject. Likening Kirk to Caesar. Stroking his ego, but also it is fitting given she planned to murder him. She likens herself to Cleopatra, a woman who is frequently portrayed as a seductress and blames for Antony’s fall.
Another thing to remember is she got a tour of the whole ship from Kirk. Which is how she was able to track down Riley AND plant the phaser in Kirk’s cabin.
While I can’t prove she was going to kill Kirk in an earlier scene, she absolutely tried to kill him with the overloaded phaser on the enterprise. And what’s key is she attempts this before Kirk confronts her father. So at the end of the scene when she breaks things off with kirk, and is angry at him for just being a tool, I think she’s upset that she didn’t see Kirk was using her as well. She drops the pretenses and says what she actually thinks of him.
“You are like your ship. Powerful, and not human. There is no mercy in you.”
All she sees Kirk as is a threat to her father’s safety. And above all else that is what she cares about. It’s why she has the nervous breakdown at the end. Her father finds out she’s been murdering the survivors of the genocide he committed and he’s heartbroken. She can’t see that her actions doomed her father, and when she kills him only because he protected Kirk, she loses it completely. How could her father ever dare to want to protect Captain Kirk? The inhuman who was going to throw him in jail. Who dared to make her father suffer?
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Big picture is she was great. Cunning, ruthless, and a match for Kirk’s wit. She only got caught because Kirk happens to hear her confess to her father. Had Riley not tried to kill Kodos, Kirk would’ve arrested Kodos and let her go free none the wiser.
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poettheythem · 2 years
Text
Dates with an aromantic
@aro-sides-week supper Excited to be apart of this. This is an idea I’ve had in min for a while
aro sides: Roman and Logan
Summary: Virgil is trying to set up his two friends but they have something different in mind
Before the chapter starts I should mention that Virgil does not know Roman and Logan are aro. They aren’t necessarily in the closet but they don’t care enough to come out. Also Roman jokes that he’s gay a lot because he is aesthetically attracted to men and also says his sexuality is asexual and doesn’t go into more detail . Also Roman uses they/them pronouns and has a prosthetic leg(I love the Roman doesn't have legs joke too much and it’s now apart of my fics ok)
tw: food, one joke about sex(sex is never said though)
”I’m just saying he is one of the hottest men alive, Roman shouted to Virgil from the couch. Virgil walked over bring the bowl of popcorn with him He sat down next to Patton giving him a small peck on the cheek
“well if you want to date him so much be my guest” Roman laughed before shoving a handful of popcorn into their mouth
”as if. My standards are beyond his capabilities” they said through the popcorn
”chew it don’t spew it” Roman stuck their tongue out at Virgil which was pretty gross with half chewed food on it
”Come on kiddos, stop fighting,” Patton finally said, interrupting his two roommates. “we are ending this food war and starting our Disney Marathon or I will turn this car around” Virgil pouted at his boyfriend “fine but its official I’m getting this heaven a boyfriend if it kills me”
Roman leaned back against the couch “good luck Nightmare at the museum.”
”ouch not your best princey” Roman shrugged as Patton started Lion King
***** Virgil flipped down on his bed “All I’m saying Logan is one date.” he heard Logan sigh through the other end of the phone
”And what I’m saying is that I need to study. Medical school isn’t easy, you know. I’m far too busy for ‘one date’ as you put it”
”Come on, they're cool people. Worst comes to worst you meet my roommate“
”you understand you could just invite me over to your apartment, correct?”
“No. cause then Patton will make me clean my room”
”Virgil clean your room”
”You aren’t my dad. But that’s not the point. One date, this Saturday.”
“N-“
”They’ll pay for dinner”
”IM IN”
Virgil laughed and hung up the phone. Now all he needed to do was convince Roman to go. It should be easy considering they’re the biggest romantic of all time.
Actually in hindsight he should have asked Roman first. But hindsight is 20 20 and we all know 20 20 sucked.
Virgil knocked on Romans door and walked. Roman was sitting on their bed surrounded by papers and textbooks, their prosthetic leg sitting on the ground next to them to make more room for the papers.
”So. Roman you free this Saturday?” Roman looked up from their textbook
”What do you mean by free? Like movie night free or waiting in line for the newest marvel movie tickets you want to see but don’t want to wait in line for free?”
”IT WAS ONE TIME”
”IT WAS THREE HOURS AND I HAD AN AUDITION THE NEXT DAY”
”Fine. I have a date set up for you.“
Roman shrugged “meh”
”MEH! Come on, it's one date with one of my friends. He and Pat share a couple of classes. you’ll like him”
Roman let out a sigh “I guess. What time and where?”
”YES I'M GOING TO GET YOU LAID FINALLY”
”VIRGIL NO”
”Virgil yes”
”My beautiful asexual ass would like to know the time and location of this date you are setting me up for.“ Roman said shoving Virgil to the floor
”Oh shush your ass isn’t that good.“
”I’d beg to differ”
*****
Roman smoothed their red button down and checked to see if their pronoun necklace was facing the right way before pushing open the door to the restaurant. They walked up to the receptionist who luckily didn’t look to be too busy. “Hello I’m here for a reservation under Roman”
”Oh, the other member of your party just arrived a few minutes ago. I’ll show you to your table”
Roman followed her down the rows of tables ‘God they’re already here. Good first impression to show up late’
They arrived at the table and Roman saw a man in a navy blue button down and tie already seated. Roman thanked the receptionist before sitting down.
”Hello there my marvelous friend. My name is Roman they/them and might I ask who I am in the presents of?”
“Well that was unnecessarily dramatic. But my name is Logan he/him please.“
”Well hello there Logan. Have you had a chance to look over the menu yet or have you been anxiously waiting upon my arrival“
Logan let out a small snort “I just sat down before you arrived. Though there isn't much to the menu. It is an Olive Garden after all”
”breadsticks”
”Really? That’s your only response?”
“What they have good breadsticks”
*****
Once they ordered their food(and ate breadsticks) Roman settled down for a moment. They looked Logan in the eye and took a deep breath
”Hey so I know you really came on this with the intention for a date, and Virgil probably said I’d be all gung ho for it-“
”When have you ever heard Virgil say ’gung ho’ before“
”That’s besides the point. What I need to tell you is that. I’m aromantic. And asexual. So this date can’t really go much further in the direction you probably want and I’m sorry for not saying any-“
Logan slammed his hands down on the table making everyone around him jump “THANK GOD! I thought I was going to have to come out to YOU saying that I was asexual aromantic. And you are quite dramatic I was not exactly looking forward to it”
Roman looked taken aback before they started laughing. Logan looked very confused and said “What’s so funny”
”Nothing, it's just. It’s just Virgil setting up two ace/aros on a DATE!”
Logan started laughing too now “To be fair I never told him” he said between giggles
“NETHER DID I!!!” The two broke into even more laughter. Roman whipped their eyes and sat up
“Well we might as well make the best of it. I mean, what's a new friend?”
”What’s a new friend?” Logan tilted his head to the side
”What… I mean like What’s bad about a new friend. Did you seriously not know what I meant?”
”Yes I am very serious. Necktie”
Roman gave a small laugh “Yup I think we’ll be friends just fine”
******
Roman and Logan finished their dinners and Roman paid so at least Virgil was right about one thing. Roman also suggested they go for a nice walk in the park afterwards because while he is aromantic he is a romantic.(Bu-dum-Ching) Roman grabbed Logans hand and started swinging it dramatically back and forth
”What are you doing Roman”
”I’m flinging us into the sun. I’m just going to swing you back and forth before we rocket into outer space“
”As much as I’d love to go to space I think I might want a space suit with me”
”Finnnneeee. I won’t propel you to Alpha Centauri today” Roman whined still swinging theirs and Logan's arms
“Quite specific“
”Hey, you're not allowed to be the only nerd here. I like space too!”
”If you insist”
the two walked around the park and Roman did eventually let Logan have control of his arm again before Logan noticed Roman limping slightly
“Roman, are you alright? You seem to be limping”
”Huh. Oh yah my legs are just bothering me a little bit. I knew I shouldn’t have worn heels” Logan looked down at Romans high heeled red boots
”I do suppose they look a bit impractical for a walk. To be completely honest with you I was considering wearing my best skirt today though I do not love sitting at dinners in it. It’s quite annoying having to watch how you sit all the time”
”I know. Especially cause I can never sit straight” Roman winked at Logan who rolled his eyes at them.
”How about we go back to your apartment so you can take off your heels. I’ve been meaning to have Virgil show it to me anyways“
”That sounds like an incredible idea. Though I think Patton and Virgil are out on a date right now so we might not see them”
”That’s alright. Roman no you just let go!” Roman grabbed hold of Logan’s arm and started swinging it back and forth again dragging Logan to their apartment laughing.
******
Turns out Patton and Virgil had come back from their date by the time Roman and Logan made it to the apartment.
”Hey there did you two hit it off” Virgil asked smugly leaning against the door to the kitchen.
“Why yes. I have already courted the Price of Logic as mine and we shall together rule the 9 realms” Roman said as they dramatically walked to the couch
”I did not agree to this” Logan said being dragged with them as Roman had STILL not let go of his hand.
“But you did agree to come to the apartment. Where's Patton?” Roman asked turning to see Virgil
”The kitchen. He was about to make some popcorn for a movie night if you guys want some.“
”Why gladly”
”Ok princess a little over the top there”
”I too would like to participate in a movie night“ Logan chimed in.
“Yay. This shall be one of the greatest movie nights of all time.“
”Whatever you say Roman,” Virgil said, not looking up from his phone. Just then Patton walked in from the kitchen holding a large bowl of popcorn
”Logan Roman, your back! How’d it goooooo”
”How about we explain the date after the movie. Now give me the popcorn!!!” Roman laughed half diving for the popcorn in Patton's hands. Patton laughed, handing Roman the bowl. “Do you guys also want some water?”
”I would appreciate some water if you don’t mind showing me where the kitchen is” Logan said standing up
”Roman did you not show Logan around!” Patton chastised
“Hey we just got in! And also in my defense I worse heels today I don’t want to walk around anymore”
”Its fine. I’ll give you a tour while Roman takes off his heels and Virgil takes off his binder!” Patton said walking Logan to the kitchen. Virgil looked up from his phone with a pout
”But I have like an hour left!” Virgil tried to protest but Patton had already. Patton showed Logan to the kitchen and started grabbing two glasses filling them with water “Here’s the kitchen. And then that door right there leads to the bathroom if you need it. And ummmm I guess down the hall are all of our rooms which have our names on the door. I don’t really know how I expected this to take long. We live in a college apartment”
Just then Logan heard shouting from the living room.
“VIRGIL GO TAKE IT OFF!”
”FIGHT ME”
Patton sighed “every time” Logan walked into the living room with his glass of water only to stumble back letting out an oddly robotic scream.
Romand was standing on one leg holding what to Logan looked like a large metal pole over their heads while Virgil jumped over the couch to get away from them. Roman turned around and looked at Logan
”Patton give you the tour?” Logan weekly nodded “Great now. VIRGIL GO TAKE IT OFF”
”NEVER”
”VIRGIL! Come on, you need to take it off.” Patton sighed.
”Fine” Virgil jumped down from the couch before walking to his room
Roman looked over at Logan still frozen in shock in the doorway “You ok Logan” Roman lowered their leg from above their head
”What the fuck” Logan whispered
Roman looked confused for a second before looking down at the leg still in their hands “ohhhh. I don’t think I mentioned the prosthetic”
”I was more confused by the chasing Virgil around with it”
”It happens a lot. You get used to it” Patton said pushing past Logan and handing Roman a glass of water “Just be glad you haven’t walked in on them crawling on the floor in the middle of the night”
”what…” Logan trailed off
”IT WAS ONE TIME AND NOW I TURN THE LIGHTS ON” Roman shouted sitting on the edge of the couch. Virgil finally walked back in the room and the four settled down to watch a movie.
******
Logan got up to the door after the movie finished “Thank you again for having me. I had a fun time tonight“
Virgil smiled from the couch, “You two going to go on another date any time soon?”
”No” Roman and Logan said in unison
”What but you said you had a great time together! Logan came to the apartment!” Virgil shouted standing up
”Oh yeah we forgot again. We’re both aro '' Roman said with a shrug. Logan smiled and opened the door
”Good night. I hope to see you soon” before walking out
Virgil stood in silence for a few seconds before shouting “YOU DIDN'T TELL ME”
End
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inner-solstice · 6 months
Text
I don’t want to leave you …but I can’t put myself in that position again and again. It is an endless loop of pain and heartache. You’d give me up so easily just to spend one day with the person you “love” who genuinely doesn’t care about you, who leaves you constantly. You give me up for toxic people constantly so quickly, without thinking twice of the damage it causes. Is it because you think I’m always going to come back to save you ?
Were we just not at that last Airbnb, looking out at Tempe and talking about how we deserve a fresh start in our individual lives?
I can’t be around you anymore… it’s toxic to be treated like a punching bag, like a rebound, like a temporary distraction for you until she comes crawling back again - almost like clockwork or a broken record. I set boundaries that were constantly disrespected…it made me feel for you again. Your I love you’s were lies through your teeth, that’s why I couldn’t ever say it back anymore. You left me constantly for her and lied to me so much. You didn’t care for one moment how much it broke my heart each time. I tried to communicate it so many times and you never listened or respected me. It is fucking torture.
..I spent so much time trying to always stay for you, to keep my promise to never leave you, however it was made impossible to stay…it would’ve been inhumane to stay and do this to my heart and soul. I genuinely hope you can see the huge impact of the level of your disrespect has done to me…what is has done to my heart
I’ve been right this whole time…why did I allow myself to think otherwise…
You can change yourself all you want for a person that will never accept you , who wants different things, who makes you feel like shit for being yourself and your past, go ahead.
It makes me so incredibly sad for you that you feel as you have to give up yourself just to keep someone like that in your life. I pity you so so much. I’m so sad because I did the same thing with you and it absolutely destroyed me. I hate watching you do this to yourself. It’s insane how someone expects for you to change all the best parts of you to their standards for their own benefit and not care of the damage it’s doing to you. How, HOW do you not see that? It’s not love. No where near. I hope you learn one day what you have lost just to have someone like that - including yourself - especially if they have a habit of leaving all the time.
It’s profoundly toxic for you resort back to people who are on another level of wanting to use you financially and romantically, among other ways as well. I can’t believe the people you let back in. It kills all of us who care about you to see you have brought those horrible people back. It kills us even more when we try to warn you, and you shit on us for it.
What’s worse is you know it too. You know it’s just you being lonely. You know it’s just because your abandonment is flaring and that you need constant attention. You throw around the word “love” so easily. You mask what it truly is. It’s makes it so much worse that you know deep inside, and yet you reject yourself and your growth and healing just to have a sliver of what you think you’re going to get in return from these people.
What really hurts is you don’t even care if I’m gone anyways. You don’t care if any of us are gone. I can’t believe I let you meet more of my family members.
You can continue this path you are on, go ahead, but don’t you dare blame any of us for leaving. You left us with no choice.
Give the cats a goodbye kiss from me if you ever care to read this. Know I loved them so dearly, it kills me that they will think I’ve abandoned them. Tell your mom I love her. Give them my sincerest love, please.
I won’t look poorly upon you . I know how hard it is for you . I can’t change how you feel, I respect that.
You’re right though, I do deserve better. But don’t ever ever say that I didn’t try.
I tried to support you and give you space to grow. I tried for so long and so hard. Even when it killed me, I really really did.
I hope you’re happy and I wish you the best
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corruptedremnant · 6 months
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a friend of mine is a science educator. not a classroom teacher - he does the kind of programs you see in museums, fun experiments with lasers and dry ice and shit.
yesterday, a young girl asked him why he was allowed to pour liquid nitrogen all over his own arm but he didn’t want her doing it. I braced myself for some dumb “well I’m an adult so I’m allowed” non-answer, but instead he surprised me by giving some of the best science (and life) advice I think you can give a young person:
“well, it’s one of those rules designed to keep you safe. and following the rules really can help you stay safe, but they’re not perfect. sometimes, usually because they’re too simple, the rules let you do things that aren’t safe, or don’t let you do things that are safe if you know how to do them. one of the reasons I’m good at what I do as a scientist is I try to understand how things work so I can figure out my own rules for keeping myself safe. and sometimes my rules are little more complicated than what I might hear from other people, but they work better for me. like, I let myself play with liquid nitrogen, but only in really specific ways that I’ve spent time practicing. you should follow the rules you’re given at first, but if you take the time to understand how things work, maybe you can make your own, better rules.”
I loved this response. it’s a great encapsulation of two really important things I think people need to learn and re-learn all the time: on the one hand, listen to genuine authority figures; when someone knows more than you about a subject, don’t treat their expertise as “just another opinion” and act like your ignorance is just as good as their knowledge. but on the other hand, don’t obey anything or anyone blindly. recognize that rules and systems and established ideas are never perfect. question things, educate yourself, question things more.
and then, of course, a parent had to butt in and spoil this wonderful lesson by saying:
“but not the rules mom comes up with!”
everyone in the room laughed. except me. I gave her a death glare I’m pretty sure she didn’t notice.
because no. no. your rules are not above reproach if you’re a parent. the thing about the dictates of genuine authority figures - people who deserve to have power, and to have their positions respected - is that they are open to question. genuine authority figures are accountable. governments can be petitioned and protested and recalled. doctors must respect patients’ right to a second opinion. journalists have jobs terminated and credentials revoked if they fail to meet standards of integrity and diligence. scientists, to bring us back full circle, spend their entire careers trying to disprove their own hypotheses! you know who insists on being treated as infallible? megalomaniacal dictators, that’s who. oh, and parents.
I’m beyond sick and tired of this “my house my rules, this family is not a democracy, I want my child to think critically and stand up for themselves except to me ha ha” bullshit. my friend gave this kid the kind of advice that doesn’t just help people become good scientists - if enough people adopt the mentality he put forth to that girl, that’s the kind of advice that helps societies value knowledge and resist totalitarianism. and her mother shut it down because, what, she didn’t want to deal with the inconvenience of having someone question her edicts about whose job it is to wash the dishes on Mondays?
we already know you’re more likely to be a Trump supporter if you’re an authoritarian parent - and that this is a stronger predictor of your views on the current president than age, religiosity, gender, or race. I’ll say this another way in case you didn’t catch the full meaning: people who believe in the absolute, unquestionable authority of parents are more than two and a half times as likely to support Trump as people who don’t, and that’s just among Republicans. we can’t afford to treat the oppressive treatment of children or the injustice of ageist power structures in our society as a sideshow issue any longer. the mentality that parents should be treated by their children as beyond reproach and above dispute is a social cancer that has metastasized into the man currently trying to destroy the foundations of democracy in this country.
in short: parents, get the hell over yourselves before you get us all killed. and kids, learn as much as you can, and then make your own rules.
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My mother is fond of quoting something that happened once at work (she’s the director of tourism for the neighboring county).
She was on the phone with my brother, who wanted to do something (I forget what, I think he wanted to go camping with some friends and she was worried it was going to be too cold that weekend or whatever)
And finally she got off the phone and sighed and said, joking, “When I taught them to question authority I must have laid it on thick, because now they’re questioning mine.”
And it got really quiet in the office. And then her secretary pipes up with “You taught your kids to question authority???”
Like she couldn’t believe that you would.
“You didn’t teach yours to?” Says mom, equally incredulous.
“No of course not!”
And mom says that right there in that moment she realized what was wrong with a huge part of the world.
Teach your kids to question, people.
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For a short while as a child I had sanctuary from an abusive home in a lovely home with good parents. One of the things that completely shocked my taraumatized little soul was how deeply the adults respected children’s thoughts, feelings, needs and wants.
Whenever a kid thought something was unfair, the adult would ask why it felt unfair and talk to them about it. Sometimes the reason for the rule or decision was immovable, like, “this isn’t safe” or “this isn’t possible with the time we have and the responsibilities that fill it”, or “homework has to be done even if it’s boring, because it helps you practice skills you will need later on.”
In those cases, the rule wouldn’t change but the child would understand why it was a rule, and feel listened to and respected. And best of all, sometimes even if the rule didn’t change, an adult might help the child brainstorm ways to make it easier to follow the rule, or find alternatives to the thing they couldn’t have.
Sometimes, the rule or decision was for more flexible reasons, like “We can’t do this because you need supervision, and I have work to do which means I can’t supervise”, in which case a child’s suggestions, like, “What if I call a grandparent and see if they’re interested in supervising?” were encouraged and listened to.
This taught the kids, me included, so much more than we ever could have learnt by being shut down by, “I’m an adult and I said so.” The system was designed to teach us to make good decisions and to give us as much information as possible about how to do that before we went out into the world. Teaching us the reasons for certain rules helped us respect them and to understand how to make good rules for ourselves going forward.
In my original household, the central rule was “Do whatever will keep you from getting hurt by the person with the most power.” From this we learned to make choices based solely on fear of consequences, no innate ethical system, so we learned to misbehave without getting caught.
We learned that if you can force someone to do something they don’t want to, you’re allowed to, because that’s how rules are decided, the most powerful person always gets their way.
We learned that asking questions of someone with power over you is dangerous and you have to figure everything out on your own. We learned to keep secrets about how badly we were hurt. There was no oppenness, no conversation, no negotiation or questions or teaching, just fear and hatred and a lot of pain.
Which household do you think taught me the best lessons, the ones I can use to build a healthy and responsible life for myself?
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My older son (almost 8 now, god) said to me in a conversation this year, “You can say no to anyone, even grown ups,” and I almost cried with relief.
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Just to go back to tdf’s bit:
“Whenever a kid thought something was unfair, the adult would ask why it felt unfair and talk to them about it. ”
Y'know, after I ran away from home, if an adult had started a conversation like that with me, I would’ve thought it was a trap and clammed up.
I’m not sure exactly what I think needs adding here, but there’s something about abusive parents training their children to not trust the absence of power abuse.
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