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ryanguzmansource · 11 days

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Full Audio Transcript (5.21.24)

Hey guys, welcome to I've Never Said This Before with me, Tommy Didario.

If you are not watching 9-1-1 on ABC, you are seriously missing out. The show is so phenomenal that it has been renewed for an eighth season and, my guest today—well, he is phenomenal as well. In fact, he is on my show because of you. I saw all of the tweets, the DMs, the emails—all of it so, like a genie in a bottle, your wish has been granted.

The talented actor Ryan Guzman stars in the smash hit firefighter drama series 9-1-1 and audiences fell in love with his character, Eddie, the moment he debuted in Episode 1 of Season 2. Man, he has become a staple on the show and fans have been rooting for Eddie throughout the years, and Ryan plays each moment of Eddie's journey with such care and vulnerability and truth.

We have a lot to cover today and I have a feeling you're going to really enjoy this fun but also personal and deep conversation. We do dive into some very serious mental health conversations, so after the interview, I will be providing resources for anyone struggling with their own mental health. This is one of the most powerful interviews I have ever done, and I really thank Ryan for opening up in the ways that he did today because I know that he is going to help so many people out there feel less alone.

So, let's see if we can get Ryan to say something he has never said before.

[INTRO MUSIC]

Ryan, my friend, how are you doing today?

I'm good, brother. How are you?

I'm good. I know you have been working your butt off. You were just saying you were filming all night. Are you exhausted or are you on adrenaline right now?

A little mixture of both. I got a little coffee pumped through my system. But yeah, I think I worked six out of seven days this last week. We've been doing around 14, 15 hour days. And I just got off last night around 1.30 in the morning. So got home around 2.30. But we're here. We're here.

Well, you were putting in the work. Congratulations to you on all of the success with this show. It's of course now on ABC. People are loving it. The numbers are going insane. And you've always been a fan favorite from day one. When you had that first scene of you putting that shirt on in slow motion and your body was glistening and Whatta Man was playing, people just fell in love with your character. But that's not just why they love your character. I mean, over the seasons, people have found you so relatable and and really, really are truly invested in the role that you play. Why do you think that is?

I like to say that, I mean, I try to play as grounded as I can, but I think the story itself is just the way Tim Minear writes the character. And I think he's always had a special connection with this kind of character. So, just indebted to how he writes and the connectivity between Eddie and his son. I mean, it's just like it pulls at the heartstrings, you know, and that's always been a fan favorite as well. So, you know, I'm living in gratitude for everything that's been written for that character and I try to do as much justice as I can.

Well, you're nearing the end of Season 7 and past seasons for you have been a bit heavier, a bit more intense. You've really gone through quite a lot of things that we'll touch on a bit later, which I know is also part of the reason why so many people relate to you. Are you enjoying this journey this season?

Yeah, you know what? I haven't really been able to kind of flex my humorous side and just kind of lightheartedness, kind of a vibe about Eddie, and I love that aspect of him. So while everybody else is kind of going through chaos, while Cap is going through chaos, Eddie is kind of, you know, trying to keep everybody together while, you know, Chimney and Hen be going at it during the tsunami and The Poseidon Adventure, Eddie is just, you know, being there for everybody as much as he can. So not to say that he's always going to be happy because Tim always has this thing about saying, you know, if I just let you guys be happy, then there'd be no story. You got to have some kind of drama. Nobody wants to show up just for people smiling all the time. But yeah, we've got some things in store for the rest of the season. And from what we've already shot, I've been super pleased about, you know, this new way of life for Eddie.

Like I said, the things you've gone through are intense throughout the years. Do you have any fear stepping into this role or any anxiety before you had to film some of those more intense scenes? Because it's a lot.

Yeah, you know what? Prior to 9-1-1, I might have had some fears about the depth of a lot of the things that we shot. I honestly didn't really call myself an actor until like maybe three and a half years ago.

No.

Yeah. I thought I was just fooling everybody, trying to get jobs and land the movies that I was getting. And then I think somewhere around the third season, a co-star of mine kind of, like, metaphorically slapped me in the face and said, you know, let's really get into this, man. You got some really good opportunity here. So that's when I started calling myself an actor. But to be honest, the depth of Eddie in the past three, four seasons has been amazing as just a class. It's been class for me. It's been an opportunity to flex these emotions that I don't get to flex in my day-to-day life and to access certain things and see how far can I push Eddie, how, you know, in the scene where Eddie is just losing his stuff and he's breaking everything in his house. Obviously, I've never done it in my house, but how do I get there? How can I allow the audience to feel what I'm feeling? And that task itself becomes a challenge. And I really [like] that type of challenge. So again, living in gratitude for all the little things that Eddie presents that, you know, I haven't really been presenting my own life.

So with that being said, is there a storyline that's particularly special to you for any given reason?

I kind of lean automatically towards the military/PTSD just because I have a cousin who served six tours and, you know, he shared with me—and I actually, oddly enough, during the episode of Eddie Begins, I brought him on as a military tech and he helped out everybody in the production. His name is Randy Hudson. I, you know, I love that guy to death—but, yeah, he's shared with me a lot of his issues that he's gone through and a lot of the obstacles he's gone through in his day to day life and what it's like to be a military vet coming back and kind of assimilating back into civilian lifestyle. So that storyline always kind of held a special place in my heart just because it was very close connected with me and my own family. And I always hope that, you know, I did it justice enough for everybody that has that story ingrained in them.

I think you definitely did. I saw a lot of comments when I announced you as my guest saying that that was a very meaningful part of your journey on this show. I'm so curious, you know, quite often in television it moves so fast, there's always rewrites or so much going on. Was there ever a story that you wanted to come to fruition that never did?

I hated the fact that we killed off Shannon so quick. I know she wasn't a very likable character for so many different reasons, but I always loved working with Devin. So I would love to explore a little bit more with that. But yeah, there's always beauty and chaos a little bit. So I would have loved the relationship, mother, father, parenting style aspect of Eddie's life to be a more explored, but unfortunately that can't happen anymore.

There's always so many things going on. I'm sure it's hard to fit them into each episode, and I'm sure things do have to get cut because major things keep happening episode after episode, one of them being recently, of course, Buck realized he's Bi and that's a storyline everyone's going crazy over. Did you see that coming? Were you like, I think one day this is going to happen for him?

Well, I mean, it's always kind of been in the ether. Everybody, you know, all the fans, you know, have their speculations about Eddie and Buck and, you know, for the longest time, I think Oliver and I again had lightheartedness to it. We always kind of like saw it as like, oh, at least they're so interested in our characters. Thank God they're interested in our characters. They're not ignoring us, and I don't know if either of us had a pinpoint, you know, idea on which character or if any character would actually lead in that way.

But again, all credit to Tim Minear. He's the one that knows the way. So he chose Buck's character to explore that route. And now seeing it happen in front of our eyes, it makes so much sense. And it just the way him, Buck and Tommy are getting together and the way they're exploring their own individuality and personality. It's beautiful to watch. I was very excited to see, you know, that episode specifically, just for the fact that it was such a moment between, you know, a friend and another friend who had held this huge secret. And how do you come out to your friend?

I had a friend, you know—because I know I've had this actually in my own personal life. I've said this in prior interviews—I had a friend who was deadly scared of coming out to me. And I realized that that moment itself wasn't so much the journey for me, you know, it was this hard journey for himself. And all I had to do was catch. I just had to be there for him, and I was like, that moment itself is so beautiful. I can't wait to do that scene. I can't wait to, you know, show the world like this is how you be there for your brother.

Wow, how cool that you could pull from your real life experience and make that scene even more special, which is why I think it came off so incredibly powerful. It really was so cool to see. And the reception has been absolutely incredible in terms of people feeling like, you know, they're seen through that character and it's on prime-time TV. And you don't see a ton of that, which is still kind of crazy. But, you know, and of course, there were some negative comments, which blows my mind. I mean, I'm sure that blew your mind, too, to see that because who cares, right?

Honestly, I've got this now filter for negative comments. They just kind of seep right through and I don't even hold on to anything. So all I've seen is really, really good comments.

And one of the best parts is actually I've gone to work and Oliver himself has been like telling me these stories of people saying, man, I did not have the strength to come out until way later on in my life. So I'm like, oh man, could you imagine 20, 30 years of holding on to this repressed thing and then it just eating away at you and not being able to say anything, even to the closest people and then seeing something on television to inspire you. That kind of thing is just like, whoa, okay, we're doing something much greater, much bigger than us.

He's not the only one inspiring its characters like you because you're showing, you know, what an ally means, and I think that's really cool to see this like macho, cool guy that's just like, cool, like who cares? And that's also equally as powerful and as important. Before we put a pin on this, you know, part of the conversation, you mentioned you never know what the writers are going to do, and I think there were talks at one point of possibly Eddie being the one to come out in some sort of way. Do you laugh and have fun with all of the fandom's obsession with you as Eddie and Buck getting together? Like, is that something you guys always are seeing and hearing? And I know everyone brings it up to you and it's something that's always looming. Like, how do you react to that? Does it ever get tiring for you?

Again, if the fans are interested, we're doing our job. So I love the love. And I mean, unfortunately, I'm not the one that writes it. So it's all up to Tim. But me and Oliver have a really good time with the fact that, you know, people are so invested into these storylines. And in fact, they're so invested, they're creating their own storylines. They're sending us clips and edits and videos. And, you know, every now and then, Oliver will show me something, I'll show Oliver something. Like, did we actually do this in a scene? Because they cut it so well together.

Yeah.

So, yeah, I think at the end of the day, you know, we just love the love. We're here to entertain and tell the truth. If it's true to the character, then yeah.”

[COMMERCIAL BREAK]

You can't predict the future. Nobody can on this show. But if the opportunity one day happened to come your way where they were like, this storyline might be explored between Buck and Eddie, would you be open to that storyline in the future? I see you smiling. I see Oliver had the same reaction, a big ass grin on his face when I asked this.

Yeah, you know, like I said, it's got to live in the truth and I think right now we live in a moment—or me, I live moment to moment—so I love the fact that the biggest plot point between these two characters is one happens to be Bi, one happens to be Hetero, and they have this vulnerability towards each other. And that is the truth to me is it's the fact that you have such a safe space and it doesn't matter your sexuality, that you have a safe space to talk to this individual and he can fully accept you. If we can stay with that, then whatever happens, happens.

But I don't necessarily want to push the fact that because you're vulnerable, you have to be one way or the other in your sexuality. Then I would hate to have a lot of other men who are struggling mentally and not sure about, oh, do I even open up? Because will that make me something that I'm not? I would hate to push that narrative. So if we live in the truth, whatever happens, happens. And again, I'm here for it all.

Whatever happens, happens. That's a nice way to put it. And I agree with you. I think there's power in both. I think there's power in showing a strong friendship that you don't always get to see. And then there's power if something eventually does happen. So whatever happens, happens. I like that, man. What can we expect for the rest of the season with your characters? Anything you can tease? The finale is coming up. We have a couple more weeks. What can we expect?

What can we expect? Well, we can expect that Eddie's smiles might turn to frowns.

Oh no.

Or at least confusion, maybe. We'll start to see, you know, has he gotten past certain traumas? Or is he just kind of pushed them to the side and acting like they're not there?

You know, I have to say a lot of people are still holding on to hope that we're going to get that karaoke scene.

I mean, yeah, we had such a good time playing that karaoke scene, and it was kind of a let down a little bit to know that it wasn't going to be in there. But now, again, looking at the episode itself, as fun as it would be, the main story was Chimney. And the way Kenneth Choi played Chimney, and that episode specifically—I mean, I think he got, you know, performance of the week for that—it would have been a disservice to add, you know, a three-minute scene of us laughing and having a great time and being drunks and karaoke and take away from that performance. So I'm glad that Tim made that decision, and I don't know if he has any plans on showing that later on or whatnot or having some extended clip version, but I can tell you this much, everybody from the cast to the crew to the background had a wild and crazy time doing that scene.

And I think what I just heard you say is you might accidentally drop it on your Instagram very soon.

I might get fired if I do that.

All right. Well, we'll see. I'll talk to ABC PR. No problem. What do you want to see for season eight? Like, are you thinking about the future? Is there like, OK, if I can have my way, I absolutely want to explore blank.

To be honest, there's so much going at us so rapid, so fast paced at this moment. The scripts are getting handed in like quick as can be. So we have a moment's notice to kind of know what we're doing and where we're going with our character. From what I know, from what I've shot thus far, I think next season will literally be a refresh button to Eddie. And starting over in so many different ways, so many new ways in which Eddie has never explored and we've never seen Eddie explore. He'll be on his own in a lot of areas.

Speaking of that, I have to bring up season five, the mental health breakdown, man. That was intense. And a lot of people felt very connected to that. How was it stepping into that scene for you and that storyline? Because it's pretty powerful.

Thank you. Man, that was cathartic, to be honest. It was I've gone through my own mental health issues as far as like, you know, my own depression and anxiety, and, you know, I was raised in an age where men aren't vulnerable and aren't allowed to show feelings. So that kind of repression is like a ticking time bomb, you know, especially for a person in Eddie's life, or his lifestyle. So to kind of relinquish this boundary of who Ryan is and step into Eddie and just kind of just full-on dive deep into these this well of emotion, it was, it was almost like therapy. It was crazy because, you know, from the second they started to say rolling, it's like my—I started to, you know, start bawling and crying, and when Buck comes in and, you know, he's trying to check in on me and the whole room is just all scattered around and I'm losing it—it's just like there was no semblance of Ryan anymore. It was just all Eddie and he was just lost, and that's what it is.

It's like if I were to look at my son, you know, five year old son, that's kind of what we revert back to is just this child that is just so scared and not having any sense of direction and—or hope that anybody will ever love him or ever see him. And it's just these like, you know, existential fears that come out within those tears, and that was my goal to portray that whole scene and then the scene following it. So to get there was just let go, just let go.

Well, the work you did was clearly honest and raw and vulnerable. You can't fake the work that you did in that. And it was really a powerful man for many people to kind of go through that with you and for people who have had their own experiences. And you're right, like, I'm from an old school Italian family. And, you know, you grow up thinking men don't go through that and men don't show those emotions. So to have that on prime-time TV is huge.

Yeah, I hope that helped out a lot of people. I hope that people were actually able to see that and at least, you know, go to their best guy friend, and, you know, I think that's what really needs to happen. As far as men, we need to lean on each other. You know, women have their own issues and they have their certain way of connecting with each other, but there's a special connection that you can have with your brother. And I give so much credit to quite a few of my personal brothers—including my actual brother—for allowing me to run to them in my moments of need, in my moments of feeling lost. And them, you know, being men themselves, not having to say one thing to me.

Or they can just, you know, if they see me in a moment of, you know, deep into a problem, they have the ability to say, well, here's a solution. And since I'm, you know, of like mind, I can be like, okay, you know what? Thank you for giving me some kind of direction. So yeah, I implore all men out there to kind of at least have one or two in your corner, you know, because we can't get anywhere without community.

Absolutely. What have you most learned about yourself through playing this character for so many years? You know, you joined in season two. It's been a lot of years now under your belt. Have you thought about that? Have you learned anything through playing, Eddie?

I've learned a lot through Eddie. I've learned patience. He's a—you know, he has a sense of patience that I didn't have in the beginning even prior to being a father, you know, and then kids itself, they teach you how to be patient. So, yeah, I've learned how to be there as a father. Kind of oddly enough, it was just living as one onscreen prior to actually being one in real life, it gave me, say, practice. I get to practice on television what I get to implore with my own children. And, you know, even if it's the worst thing for Eddie, you know, and I see him doing something horrible, at least I come back home, like, well, that can't happen. I can't do that with my kids. So, yeah, and in so many ways, it's helped me grow as a man, let alone a father.

That's pretty awesome when you can take things away from your job like that and become a better person. I love that so much. Can you believe you've been on the show for so long now? Do you ever think like, damn, that's not normal. That's the rarity in the business. So is that a cool feeling for you?

Yeah, I literally just had that moment yesterday. We were filming a scene, all of us, the whole cast, and I'm sitting outside—I can't tell you the location, that's going to blow something—I'm sitting outside one of the sets and I just had that moment to myself. I'm like, oh my God, I'm actually here. How did I get so lucky to be on not only just a television show, the number one television show out there, where we're in our seventh season and we're creating numbers that people don't even get in their first season? So again, if there's a moment to tap into, let's get into that gratitude again and just be super thankful that I was lucky enough to land this.

[COMMERCIAL BREAK]

That is so cool, and that's why I have no doubt you'll continue having so much success in your career and in your personal life because you keep bringing up gratitude, and it's very evident that's something you lead your life with. And in fact, I saw a recent Instagram post where you give a beautiful tribute to Twitch, and you credit him with being able to form connection with people in your life now and to different things and places, and I thought that was such a beautiful way to show people that you're working on yourself and you're a work in progress and that he helps you kind of open your eyes. So that was a really cool moment for you to also reveal.

Thank you, yeah. Yeah, I believe so much of the world right now is showcasing a polished version of themselves. And to be honest, I did it myself for so long that I've become tired of it, and I would much rather get to the raw—the raw, the unfiltered, the, you know, the mess ups, the, you know—I've stuck my foot in my mouth too many times. I've done, you know, stupid things in my life, and I never want to present myself as a person that does everything great because there's so many things I suck at.

So I think there's an opportunity within that rawness to invite others to become raw themselves, and for us to see that, you know, we're not competing with each other, we're competing with ourself and our own image of ourself and friends like, you know, a brother like, like Twitch, you know, and—not understanding what he was going through and that lack of connectivity that I always, you know, felt but never acted on, which again, I felt imposter syndrome for so long of calling him my brother. It really struck a chord in me and now I can't go backwards. Now I'm propelled forward to be like, is this conversation authentic between us or are we just kind of saying what we have to say just so we can pass on to the next person and create whatever that is? And I'm not here for that. I would much rather have that depth and I'd much rather have that rawness.

Beautifully said and a perfect segue into what I want to finish this conversation with, which is based off the title of the show: I've Never Said This Before. So I'm wondering, is there anything that comes to mind that you want to share today that you've never shared before?

Uh. Huh. Yeah, you know what? I've been thinking about this for so long and there's so many things, you know, that come to mind. One specifically, and I've been hesitant to actually say any of this for so long because, you know, it's been years upon years.

About six and a half, seven years ago—and I've really never said this out loud, especially onto a public platform—I had my own mental health crisis and I tried at one point in time to take my own life. And luckily, it didn't work. Luckily, I got a second chance by the grace of God. And from that moment forward, I've taken each step as an opportunity to erase what got me there and build on what allowed me to live forward. So I would say that that moment itself, in addition to what happened to my brother Twitch, are probably the two biggest fundamental moments of my entire life and have allowed me to have a deeper sense of mercy and empathy towards every individual.

So I would implore that all men renounce this fact of, you know, you're a tough man, you have to hold all this in, but lean on your brother, really lean on your brother. And if your brothers aren't being there in the way they need to be, find some new ones. Because that's another thing, if you don't have the people that are conducive to a healthy lifestyle and you're keeping on to them because of loyalty, let them go. There's plenty of other people. There's people that have been through your situation before that are willing and more than willing, you know, to help. So yeah, that was a big one.

Man, first of all, thank you for sharing something so personal and close to your heart with me today. I feel honored that you did open up and share that. And I'm truly—God, this could be another half hour conversation, so I'll keep it short—but I'm truly grateful that you are spreading that message today for anybody listening because, you know, mental health is a crisis and I think people sometimes look at you, they look at me, they think everything's perfect. We are, you know, in this public space and what can be wrong?

And when you humanize real shit like that, it makes people feel less alone. And you got through it, you realize that wasn't the right way to go about it and your life forever changed for the better, and I'm truly grateful that you put that message out today because you have no idea how many people you're going to be helping with that. And I truly know that that's something that's not easy to get off your chest. And for that, I thank you and I know so many people will be thanking you, and I hope you feel kind of like a little bit of a weight lifted that you share that hopefully.

Yeah, it's kind of hard to understand what I'm feeling at the moment. But I hope in what you said is true. And I hope that, again, I would love to do more for mental health, especially for men, I mean, just in general, to be honest. But yes, I hope that there is a new wave out there that's kind of taking over that we can actually have some cohesiveness and connection, a true understanding of what connection is. Let's revisit that. So this issue isn't a common issue anymore. If we can take that down, then let's do it. I'm here for it.

Beautifully said, and thank you again for sharing that. I could talk to you for hours, especially leaving with that. I think you're such a cool person. And you watch people, I get to talk to people all the time. But this to me was a real conversation, and that's what I value. That's why I have a show called I've Never Said This Before, and I want to talk about the projects that the fans love, but also leave room to talk about things that matter. I don't think there's enough of that. So I truly thank you for hanging out, for coming on, for talking about the fun of 911, which we all love, and it's killing it in every way, but also sharing a little piece of you. I hope you enjoyed the conversation as much as I have.

Thanks for having me, my man. Yeah, I had a great time.

Thank you, and remind everyone where, how, when, all the things about your show.

Yes, please watch Thursdays at 8 on ABC.

All right, and stay tuned for the karaoke scene that you just promised you will be dropping.

Yeah, maybe when I'm fired again.

All right, man, until we meet again, take care.

All right, brother.

#ryan guzman #may 2024 #i've never said this before #transcribed #5.21.24

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greeneyed-thestral · 2 months

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I MET MICHAEL SHEEN. 16/03/24, National Theatre

So, if you've read my post about booking tickets to see Michael, you know all about my what-ifs. But the day was finally here.

I arrived at the National Theatre, followed all the Nye signs and here's the Olivier Theatre. I made my sister buy me the show's programme, hoping I would be able to get it signed.

I find my seat, I'm not in the centre but the stage still feels very close and you can see everything (amphitheatres are always the best).

Lights out. The audience is in religious silence. Can't believe I'm actually here, this is happening.

[skip this part in smaller font, if you want to avoid spoilers] In the words of Staged, he really loses himself in his roles. First of all, it's great to hear him speak in a Welsh accent.

But then we also see him turning back into a child, and you can totally believe he's young and innocent again. His stutter feels so real, his struggle and sadness too. The entire ensamble is great during the classroom scene, where they all help Nye against their bullying teacher (using those big canes to make him look scary really works). Hearing young Nye confessing that at times he thinks he 'shouldn't exist' because of who he is was a gut punch; Michael's delivery of that whole part is incredible, in that moment he really becomes a little boy that allows himself to feel vulnerable and says something dark to a friend. The way he jumps while saying "I can visualise and enunciate!" made me wanna jump too, he was ready to give up and then he found the solution through books, it's the joy and relief you feel when you realise that there is another way and your life is not over.

Now, I've watched musicals all my life and let me tell you that man is meant to be in one. He opened his mouth and all I could see was someone that had been waiting a long time for the occasion to show his talent, truly showstopping. He was so free and happy and confident, singing and dancing spectacularly. I couldn't stop smiling and giggling, we all clapped.

It's clear he means every word he says, and when he points and shouts his political arguments at the audience, those who feel called out must be shaking; I thought 'This is how people in Ancient Greece must have felt everytime they went to the theatre'. His Nye is inspiring, passionate, someone you'd want to follow, he stands up for what he believes in and lets nothing get in his way.

We get to watch him flirt, on all fours, waggling his 'tail'; everytime we think we've seen all he's capable of, he does something like this and surprises us.

But most of all, we see him being scared, first of having to do something, and then of not being able to do enough for all of us. At one point everyone has requests for Nye and I was expecting him to shout "Heal yourselves!" like Jesus in JCS, it totally conveyed what it must have been like to be in his role at the time, overwhelmed with daunting responsibilities.

In general, I appreciated the fact that it wasn't a linear biography, they chose life moments that have universal situations everyone can relate too, like they do in bio-musicals. I loved the staging. The colour palette is so recognisable; the curtains and the beds are used in many different ways so everything is explored at its full potential.

He is on stage basically all the time for more than two hours (sometimes twice a day, can you imagine?). Also barefoot and in his pajamas from start to finish, he looks like a teddy bear you just want to hug and protect.

He bows, looks at Nye's achievements, then leaves the stage.

Standing ovation, applause. I go back to the theatre lobby, I was supposed to wait for my sister, but she's late. Meanwhile, a fan asks me how to get to the Stage Door. I start too fear that I'm going to miss my chance if I keep waiting inside, so I decide to go on my own. After no more than 5 minutes, he's outside with us. Forget Nye, I am living my fever dream. He has just finished his second show of the day and yet he's smiling and listening to each and every one, signing and taking pictures. I know many have said this, but he really is an angel.

My sister arrives, and as soon as I'm sure she has the camera ready, I make my way to him. The two girls next to me who were speaking to him needed a pen and I lent them my sharpie, so I got my chance to look generous in front of him.

And suddently it was my turn. This is as much as my scrambled mind allows me to remember: I tell him I'm Francesca and I'm from Italy, he asks me how long I am going to stay, I confess that I had arrived that morning and just to see him, that I would be leaving already the following morning. I can't even focus while he's signing my programme, I just want to find the right words. I manage to say how I enjoyed seeing his passion, all these different sides of him and how watching him sing and dance has been the highlight of my evening. We take a picture together, I feel his hand on my shoulder and I realise my arm is around the waist of this person I love. I had to thank him again, telling him that he only deserves good things and that we are so lucky to have him. He wishes me a safe trip home, and I melt. I leave and I can't stop trembling. On my way back to the hotel I hold on tight to my signed programme and the sharpie that was in his hands just moments earlier. Only later I will realise that he's also written 'Ciao!', 'love' and 'X', without me asking for it or anything! Seeing him act live was a big gift already, but what followed outside was beyond my dreams. I can't look at the photos without blushing, the way he looks at me in the video and then also strokes my arm for a moment, I mean pinch me now.

The more I think about it, the more I can't believe it happened.

I want to thank everyone that under my first post pushed me and encouraged me to see the pros of doing this, I share this beautiful moment of my life with all of you. <3

#michael sheen #nye #national theatre #london #btw I was also wearing one of david's headbands

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hazshit-hotel-hater · 3 months

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WARNINGS IN DESCRIPTION AND BELOW

youtube

WARNINGS: Epilepsy, Vertigo, Eyestrain, Abuse, Addiction, Breakdowns

Here is the description placed here for your convenience.

I wanted to try and do what “Poison” attempted to do in a better manner. For example with the billboard I wanted to show that for a passerby it just seems like “Oh, it’s Angel Dust promotion” but for Angel himself it comes off as an unpleasant reminder. Maybe not of things directly related to that photoshoot but maybe things that happened earlier in the day or after the photos were taken. I also wanted to try and encapsulate that feeling of “Am I just making this up? Did I really hate it that much?” that I struggle with when I think back on my own experiences. When you live in hell for like 70+ years I’d imagine that sort of thinking hits you really hard sometimes. I know if I was in an environment like that I’d probably end up wrongly gaslighting myself into thinking it’s normal. It’s an incredibly hard thing to place without making it seem like glorification so I truly hope I got the discomfort across properly.

I also wanted to show the uncomfortable feeling of having a breakdown while being incredibly dizzy which is why the echo-ish effect is in a lot of these scenes, especially for when Angel is drunk and angrily slamming his fist on the ground. Being on the floor is a very vulnerable position to a lot of people, myself included. With the blurry and double-vision I wanted to mimic a fleeting sobriety as things really start to kick in. Along with Angel pounding on the floor, I wanted it to look like the opposite of the lyrics accompanying it. “I don’t want to leave this moment ever” being paralleled with Angel slamming his fist was meant to give a feeling of wanting to break away from a situation. In actuality, I wanted a few of these lyrics to seem more like an inner voice rather than actual fact. Little to none of the lyrics with “I want __” and “you” are 100% genuine, and for the ones that “technically” are, like “I just wanna be whatever you want me to be.” are meant to be taken as “I will do what you tell me to because I don’t want you to hurt/yell at me.”

For posing I also tried my best to make sure it was obvious that I wasn’t showing things as graphically as the “Poison” video. There are still frames of Angel in violent situations which can be uncomfortable, but the extent of it is Angel being grabbed or yelled at. I am very aware things like this are incredibly sensitive topics and my coping process/experience will not translate the same for everyone, but I truly hope that I have portrayed these feelings in a tasteful manner.

As for the colour palette and style, I chose black because its both easy to work with and also captures the feeling of being alone in your mind well; and I chose neon pink because it is Angel Dust’s typical colour, but when there’s enough bright colours like that it can become disorienting, which is what I was looking for. I wanted this video to be as dizzying and brain-messy as possible while still being able to tell enough of whats going on for the viewer to understand.

I also thought I was clever for the XXX on the alcohol since its for explicit ratings as well as alcohol.

If you have any questions, thoughts, or criticisms, please don’t be afraid to mention them.

#hazbin hotel #angel dust #hazbin angel #hazbin angel dust #hazbin hotel rewrite #hazbin critical #hazbin hotel criticism #hazbin hotel critical #hazbin spoilers #hazbin hotel review #hazbin art #angel hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel issues #hazbin hotel critique #Youtube #hazbin hotel spoilers

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leggerefiore · 3 months

Note

whenever you find yourself with some time would you be willing to do nsfw cyrus hcs? and/or steven stone? i have it bad for twenty-something men with blue-gray hair and you write cyrus so well <3

cw: 18+ content, AFAB reader, gen sexual hcs,

characters: Cyrus, Steven Stone

Minors DNI

🌌Cyrus🛰

☄️ The Galactic Boss struggles to comprehend sex for the most part. Does he feel arousal? Yes, naturally. Does the urge strike him to go find his partner and have a round occur to him? He would prefer to just have a quick jerk off session and get back to whatever he had been doing before the need had arisen. Yet, it was not easy when you were around. Suddenly, your own needs came into the fray. Cyrus truly struggles to overcome this at times, afraid that he will underperform for you or simply worries too much in general. Being naked is such a vulnerable state, he truly prefers not to be, but you clearly enjoy his body.

☄️ Cyrus admittedly hesitates to initiate or reciprocate due to the feelings of it all. Sex can be purely physical, but not with someone he cares about. Your arms and legs can wrap around him when he is on top, or your hands press against his chest when you ride him. The touch… it all feels too intimate for him. He truly feels like he does not deserve it, but dares not say a word when your pleasured sounds echo around the room. Eventually, he loses himself in the throes of passion and lets the physicality take over his worries for feelings.

☄️ His usual locations for sex are almost entirely at home, but he does have moments where you end up pinned against his desk being rutted in by a frustrated Galactic Boss. There are few places he really feels comfortable having sex. The idea of anyone seeing him, and you for that matter, in such a vulnerable and compromising position truly distresses him. Though, at home, he does not do it anywhere too odd. Never in the kitchen, too worried about germs. The couch and bed are his favourite spots. You popped on some lingerie to tease him while visiting him at his office, you may find yourself pressed against the starry skies of his office wall depending on how wound up he is.

☄️ Cyrus has no idea what he is doing when it comes to giving head. Honestly, he is horrible and will not do it. He also struggles to receive it, as he completely has his mind go to the fact you have been eating things. You will have to brush your teeth for him to even begin to agree. Though, he might agree depending on his mood. Usually, it will be a no. Basically, no head for and from Cyrus.

☄️ Cyrus is a switch, but not in the traditional sense. He vehemently refuses anything related to anal (his paranoia about germs rising up again), so no pegging him. He also is not exactly a sub while being ridden. There is always some distant sort of control understood by you both. His hands will hold your hips as you bounce up and down on his cock. Your moans sting his ears while he lightly bites at your collarbone. Nails digging into his back barely register with the sheer amount of pleasure. Though, he also certainly tops. The feeling of his desk pressed into your stomach as he ruts into you from behind is not uncommon at all. Any knocks on his door go ignored as the roughness of his thrusts grow, and he hits deep inside you.

☄️ The blue-haired man does not really have any specific kinks. Well, not any that he would care to name and acknowledge. Certainly, he shows a certain leaning towards being praised by you, however. It is very subtly and something that can be overly exploited. But, your words about how good he is making you feel or how wonderful he is make him suddenly need to work harder to please you – to meet your standards. He definitely leads to being dominant as well, but not anything domineering. Cyrus just prefers to have more of a sense of control.

☄️ The Galactic Boss honestly has low libido. He never thought much about it until it came to meeting his partner in the middle with the sex. If you have more than him, you likely will end up having to do much of the work since he just struggles to catch up to your needs. He does want to fulfil them usually, but he has moments where he offers a vibrating dildo he made for you and dips. Cyrus is difficult to arouse, too. The best way might be to use a few praises smartly on him and some well-timed affection. Suddenly, he is more agreeable and interested. A hand comes to rest on the inside of your thigh when he finally surrenders himself.

☄️ Dirty talk from his is honestly rare. He does not like to talk much during sex, since he tries not to force himself to think too much about everything that he wants to fret over. Sporadically, though, he does. His arms locked around you while you ride him in his lap, he pleads barely above a whisper, “Beloved… More.” You are much too eager to meet his simple quest. Or better, when he has you under him pressed against something and completely bottomed out inside you, he suddenly mumbles out, “Your body is so close to my idea of perfection… No other being could ever make me feel as you do.” He then picks up his pace, desperate to hear more of your lovely sounds.

☄️ His sexual “no 's” are pretty simple. He hates the idea of public sex, and he is not into any kind of impact play or choking. He just… cannot. That is not an appropriate way to treat a loved one, even if they consented. As stated, he does not feel comfortable with anal. Asking that of him will result in a firm no and plain refusal. Daddy kinks are also out. Does he look like your father – actually, don't answer that. He is only twenty-seven and calling him that is honestly repulsive to him. Not opposed to being called master, though. It might make him think of his subordinates, though. Otherwise, he is pretty good with most things.

☄️ His aftercare sucks. He lays there dead to the world, post nut and then gets up to take a long shower. You may join him, but it will absolutely not be anything sexual and be entirely focused on just washing off all the fluids from sex. Cuddling does not really usually happen, but there are a few times he makes an exception. There are few words spoken, too. Give him time to recover, he struggles with strong emotional states. He does care; he is just overwhelmed.

💍Steven Stone💎

🪨 He is pretty casual when it comes to sex, actually. Is he super experienced? Well, not overly so, but he is also not a virgin. As a champion and an heir to a company, Steven was not above having one-night stands and flings. He definitely had stopped after getting with you, though. He does feel a bit embarrassed to tell you about some of his past experiences.

🪨 Steven enjoys numerous things about sex. Being close to his lover, the overwhelming nature of it, how it acts as a bonding activity. He could go on and on about it. His positions are almost certainly quite plain. The chair position, cowgirl, missionary – He prefers facing each other. Watching how you react to him thrusting into you is part of the fun, and his expressions when you grind down on him certainly are absolutely worth seeing, too. His hands do always seem to be on you as well.

🪨 His locations for sex are pretty normal for the most part. When he is home, it is nice to have intimacy with you. The sounds of the waves lapping on the shoes of Mossdeep certainly add a lovely ambience. Hotel rooms are also quite common due to his frequent travelling. There is something thrilling about getting together in some of the more luxury places that he stays. When he was Champion, he also was not above having you visit him in his chambers for a round when it was horribly slow or in his office. Of course, the most debatable places are in caves. A few times of him fucking you above some stones and gems that he found absolutely beautiful were definitely not the best choice, but he was strangely infatuated with the idea.

🪨 Steven is pretty good at head and loves to do it. There is no sight more enchanting than Hoenn's pretty boy champion between your thighs. His light hair is surprisingly soft as it tickles your skin. The flat of his tongue presses right up against your clit just right to make your toes curl. His steely eyes stare up at you as he enjoys your reactions. The steel-type trainer does enjoy receiving, but not as much as giving. His hand rests on your head as your tongue swirls around his cock head Then, a lovely groan leaves him when you bring your lips to take his dick into your mouth. He is pretty easy to please, honestly.

🪨 Steven is also a switch, but he does not really skew any which way in dominating or being submissive. He likes to work with his lover on whatever they want for that particular session. The blue-haired man has been laid out on the floor of the champion's room while you rode him. You bouncing up and down on his dick left him completely wordless. His groans echoed off the wall to a point that he was worried Drake might pop in to check on him. Then, there are times he has had you pressed against the wall of a cave. Steven rutted into you as your walls tightened around him. His rings dug into your hips when he held on to you tighter. So, the trainer definitely works with whatever his partner wants.

🪨 Kink wise, Steven is also pretty vanilla. He certainly is willing to try a thing to please his partner, but he himself barely has any requests. The few he does have are weird. He loves to gift you jewellery with stones that he adores even more. Wearing them during sex triggers some odd ferocity in them as he watches them dance on your body. It probably is a unusual marking kink, but it seems to be more focused on the stones more than anything.

🪨 Steven's libido is pretty average. Not too high, not too low. He can easily meet whatever his lover's level is, whether they need more or less than him. After all, he does enjoy sex in general. Though, an issue might arise with how busy his schedule gets occasionally. He would try to make up for it whenever he could, though. It is really easy to get him going. You could boldly walk in front of him nude but with a few of those aforementioned accessories on, or you could just run a hand down his arm and mess with his rings with a few choice words. As long as he is not busy, he is down for a quickie.

🪨 Steven does not do the best dirty talk, but he may very well try. Nothing degrading, that is not something he likes, but he tries to focus on praise and compliments. “Mmm – yes, please more, it's so good,” he babbled out while your hand gripped his cock just perfectly. His eyes rolled back as he gripped his hand tightly. Or when you had him pressed against those fancy hotel sheets and his hands desperately held your hips, “My gem – you feel so good! You're more wonderful than the strength of a Carbink...” He always somehow manages in a random rock comparison, too.

🪨 His sexual “no 's” are pretty simple. He does not really like any kind of impact play or choking, so that is out, nor does he like a daddy kink or really any authority kink for him. Might be into playing along with his partner a bit, but not letting it completely overtake things. He does not truly want public sex (excluding caves). Degradation is out. He is pretty simple.

🪨 For aftercare, Steven does quite well. After you both come back down, he offers a bath to you and likely will join you to help scrub up together. He also loves a nice cuddle session afterwards and may even order take out if it worked up an appetite. He literally will probably do whatever you want to do to unwind. So, just ask away.

#pokemon x reader #cyrus x reader #steven x reader #steven stone x reader #pokemon steven x reader #pokemon cyrus x reader #pokemon/reader #steven stone/reader #steven/reader #cyrus/reader

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agreysexualromantic · 7 months

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I've talked before about how much Lois soaks up the love and safety of the Kents, but I think we also need to talk about what Clark sees and learns from his entire relationship with Lois.

Outside of his family, Clark's relationships have consistently been struggles of boundaries and safety.

There's Lex: Clark sees so much good in him, they share so much and he wants so much to be able to trust him, but Lex simply cannot stop his fixation on Clark's "secret". As a result, it's a constant battle of boundaries and lies, leaving Clark with no true sense of safety there.

There's Chloe: Now, I adore Chloe, especially as the series progresses, but at the start her young, enthusiastic journalistic curiosity often resulted in massive violations of Clark's privacy. She finds out about his abilities not because he tells her, but through yet another huge violation of privacy by another person. She does a great job of working to change and becoming a safe place for Clark to be open, but once again he has a trusted relationship with constant pushes for him to be *more* vulnerable, to share *more* of himself, and people skirting around his boundaries for their own sake. Rough stuff.

Then we have Pete: the first person Clark *willingly* shares his full background with, only to have his abilities weaponized against him over and over again. Literally, Pete pulls out green and red kryptonite and uses it on Clark ALL THE DAMN TIME. He gets mad at Clark for NOT sharing his secret earlier, and then goes on to blame him when Pete's life is made more complicated and dangerous by the knowledge. No safety there, no real ability to just relax and be himself because Clark never really knows when Pete might once again throw his secret back in his face.

And then there's Lana: I want to be clear here, *I do not hate Lana*. I actually think very highly of her, especially when she's not dating Clark. And I mean that in both directions, neither Clark nor Lana feel truly safe or at ease with each other in their relationship. I'm just going to focus on Lana for a second here as it relates to my point about Clark and love. Lana wants Clark to be fully open and honest with her. But The Secret becomes The Thing that she just can't see around. Despite how well she knows Clark, she perpetually uses The Secret to assign the worst motives to his actions, and to assume that he has done terrible things despite having no evidence that The Secret has anything to do with the character of Clark that she already knows. (Again, I recognize Clark's nonsense in this relationship too, I'm just focusing on this one side for the moment). Clark never really feels safe with her as a result, because her fixation on KNOWING his secret becomes more important than knowing or understanding him, and again, boundaries are crossed and miscommunication abounds.

Enter Lois Lane. She is a lot of things, but one thing that Lois is for Clark from very early on is *safe*.

We see her repeatedly respect people's boundaries and choices. For all of her curiosity and her drive for truth and answers, she draws a very firm line around the personal lives of others. She waits to be invited rather than demanding vulnerability from Clark. Sure, she offers lots of advice that Clark didn't ask for, but she never tries to pry him open. She takes him as he is, with the belief that people should be allowed to share what they feel safe sharing.

That is mind blowing for Clark. Outside of his family, he's never experienced love like that, platonic or otherwise. There have always been strings, always been eyes looking closer than he wanted, always been people holding his privacy over his head like a weapon. We see Clark, time and again, truly *relax* with Lois in a way he can't with just about anyone else. Lois is safe, truly, in a world where Clark is consistently surrounded with emotional danger.

I saw a post recently that related Clark's secret to someone coming out (even though that's likely not what the writers were going for intentionally). It's so true. Clark always deserved the chance to share all of himself when and how HE wanted to, and over and over again that chance was taken from him or used against him. I think that's why I personally feel so strongly about all of the people in his life being SO insistent that Clark is deceitful, overly guarded, that he HAS to share his secret OR ELSE (or else they will dig it up anyway, or else they will leave him, or else he will tell them and they will use the knowledge against him, or else, or else....)

There's no or else with Lois. She's happy to accept Clark as Clark, and he needed that so much.

As always, Lois Lane is my hero.

#really Lana is great #she's just at her best when she's not centering her life around someone else #team Lana going off and living her best life #clark can be a dingus too #trust me i see it #the dude needs therapy #really everyone in Smallville needs therapy #traumaville #lois lane #smallville #clois #clark and lois #lois and clark #erica durance #tom welling #text post #agreys ramblings

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irregularcollapse · 5 months

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(dvd commentary ask) please discuss the EIAT first lamen lovemaking scene and your thought process behind it 💖

Helloooo hi thanks for this question! And oof what an intense one. Chapter XI, in which Laurent is proven wrong—such a pivotal moment for not just the romance storyline, but for Laurent's character journey, and for Damen's as well.

A warning that this will include discussion of PTSD related to CSA, and discussion of CSA in general.

Up until this point, Laurent has been grappling quite fiercely with his attraction to Damen. Because Damen has proven himself to be so consistently trustworthy and reliable, so caring and respectful of Laurent's boundaries, Laurent begins to indulge in fantasies but really struggles to see them through. In the previous chapter, he reflects that his fantasies "come in soft-focus with selective lighting and clever framing. They come as flashes of skin, the idea of joining together rather than the blunt illustration of it." His mind is self-censoring, because "what [Laurent] imagines sex to be like, and what it is actually like, are very different things." In other words, he refuses to truly visualise sex with Damen because he knows it will be a trigger. He does not want to associate Damen with his previous abusive sexual experiences: not only would it be too painful, he respects and likes (loves?) Damen too much to do that to him. This censoring comes through in his narration quite often when he thinks about Damen, to the extent that he internally seems more coy than may seem fitting to his dirty mouth—like, for example, when he is looking at Damen wet from the rain and cuts himself off: "you're wet. You're dripping. I can see your nipples. I can see the shape of your—"

It isn't, however, only about being triggered. Something reported by many CSA survivors (and survivors of other forms of sexual abuse or assault) is an acute sense of shame around their own desires and even healthy expressions of sexuality. Often this is rooted in the feeling that they are responsible for their own abuse, and that they invited it and deserved it in some way. We are shown this very clearly even in the trilogy through, for example, Laurent's "contrary" behaviour when he first has sex with Damen in Prince's Gambit: his "bizarre, nervy tension," the way that the idea of sex with Damen "very clearly had Laurent out of his mind, as desire competed with some sort of convoluted mental objection." In Laurent's eyes, Damen sees "something unexpectedly young and vulnerable." Throughout that scene, Laurent struggles to withhold any outward display of desire, to tamp down on reactions and sounds and other expressions, because for him in his trauma, there is shame in wanting this (obviously compounded by Damen's identity, but that is a different discussion to be had).

It is also a shame that Laurent is never allowed to forget. He has been manipulated into believing that the abuse was invited ("I probably should have turned him away, but who can resist when a boy with a face like that asks you to stay with him?" the Regent says in Kings Rising), and that notion persists in everything he hears said about himself by members of the court, his own men, and even complete strangers. He laughs with Damen about it in Kings Rising, when Damen tells him that he's attractive and he replies, "Most people tell me that right away," but everything in the way he conducts himself—his covered, concealing way of dressing; his vulgar speech; his constant emotional masking—is constructed to deflect and repel. Yet despite all his efforts, his looks are the first thing people comment on; he can't stop people from talking about how they would fuck him; he cannot silence the innuendo and rumours that follow him around. In Arles it is intentionally encouraged by the Regent, to perpetuate his abusive control of Laurent and mire him deeper in that shame.

So, to bring this back to EIAT: this version of Laurent is starting from a different place than book Laurent. He has already, to use his words, "dealt with" his Uncle. He also has no immediate hatred for Damen, and does not need to overcome Damen having killed Auguste and therefore, to Laurent's traumatised mind, being directly responsible for him being abused. As such, he is able to trust Damen much more quickly, and is able to open himself up to the idea of wanting Damen as well. But, as anyone carrying trauma will tell you, wanting something and being able to do it are very different things.

Laurent's shame progresses through the scene in a number of ways. The first is that he is uncharacteristically unable to talk (also seen in the books, when during sex scenes he becomes stilted and especially short in his speech, even stuttering), because Laurent uses sexual language to disgust, insult and repel, not to attract. As he says, "he lacks the vocabulary" to express genuine desire, and so throughout the scene tries to turn desire back onto Damen: "And you don't want more?" then "Don't toy with me," then "You may do as you wish." When he does express a desire, it is simple ("Kiss me.") or resorts to more vulgar phrasing ("I want you to fuck me").

Also common amongst CSA survivors is the shame around trauma preventing them from having a 'normal' or enjoyable sex life. There is a lot held in this, including the real fear of being triggered at any point during sex no matter how much desire is there. There is also the fear that they will never be able to satisfy their partners as a result; in Kings Rising, "Laurent swayed, like he’d been dealt a blow" when Damen draws attention to his sexual inexperience, unknowingly hitting much too close to the memory of abuse, and so he lashes out harshly in return. In EIAT, the fear comes up a few times in Laurent's narration: he muses that "It would give neither of them anything" and "would be a cruel cosmic joke" if he did have sex with Damen, when Nikandros orders him to reject Damen's advances; he believes his wedding night with Damen will be the last time, as he will have "little more appeal than that of a dead fish in bed"; he calls himself a "corpse" with "no warmth" when trying to talk to Damen about sex. He is also incredibly aware of the gaps in his experience, when he reacts or moves in an artless or ungainly way, and his narration is quite self-depracating as a result: he says he "doesn't know what to do with his hands," calls himself a "terrified maiden," makes "unintended" admissions, and tastes "acid" at Damen's joy. It is only the realisation that Damen doesn't care if he isn't polished and competent and perfect, that Damen wants him in any way he is, that helps him break from this thought pattern and ask for more.

The other aspect of shame which Laurent experiences has a duality: the idea of cleanliness vs. being unclean, and slut shaming. Again, these are common triggers or thought patterns amongst CSA survivors, and manifest for Laurent in the books as well—his fastidious personal cleaning after sex, his reluctance to show desire or enjoyment or "lose control," his conflict particularly over giving Damen a blow job and the confusion he experiences at being aroused by it. In EIAT, it comes with particular harshness; Laurent is confronted with the truth that he is hurtling towards unprotected sex, and is triggered into a spiral of slut-shaming thoughts centred around the idea of inviting even unsafe, 'unclean' sex because he is so desperate. However, because of the safe space that Damen has created for him, and because of the trust between them, Laurent is able to logic his way out of the spiral. This can be a helpful tactic for many trauma victims, and it works for Laurent because he holds logic and self-control in such high esteem as valued qualities.

That moment, though, is also a crucial one for Damen. It requires him to trust as well—to trust that Laurent will eventually explain what needs to be explained, to trust that Laurent is being truthful when he says that he's ready, to trust that Laurent is also being honest about his reactions and responses. Just as in the books, Damen has a sense that something is affecting Laurent, but his trust in Laurent means that he doesn't actually need to know what it is (hey, look, I actually wrote about that in this answer!). Providing safety and pleasure for Laurent don't rely on knowing the reason; all that matters is the here and now. And he does that, and more, in abundance. This is also what makes it such an important for Damen, arc-wise, because his own traumas are so rooted in feelings of inadequacy and not being enough—of not being able to live up to everything that has been set for him, everything that is expected of him.

It is a vulnerable moment for both of them, a culmination of the trust they have managed to build and an expression of this deep connection that they feel. It is also, for them both, an incredibly healing moment: they are both wanted, and needed, so completely in it. Being from Laurent's POV, the full implications for Damen are a bit more interpretive, but hopefully that is evident as well. When he admits, "I feel like you have tethered me," that's what it is—he has been so uncertain of himself, as a man and a leader, and Laurent gives him the space to feel grounded once more. Laurent gives him somewhere to ground himself.

I feel like I could write a whole other essay on Damen here. I have to cut it there lmao this has already gone on way too long. I don't know if anyone will have made it this far! If you did, thank you! I hope you found it interesting.

Thanks so much for sending this ask <3 This scene and Laurent's journey mean so much to me, and it is very important to me that his story is done justice. I can only hope I've given him and people who connect with his character a fraction of what they deserve.

(Pssst if anyone else wants a DVD commentary on a bit of my writing, send me a passage!)

#asks #my writing #even in another time fic #captive prince fic #captive prince

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probablyhuntersmom · 1 year

Text

Since my brain won't shut up about Hunter and also opposite colours on the colour wheel..

Allow me to ramble a bit about three pairs of complementary colours, used as lighting in Hunter's character arc to reflect the significance of what's going on and to reflect his internal state:

Orange and blue: I noticed that orange - a really warm colour - is when he is the safest and happiest. Blue seems to imply great danger, since it's also Belos's monster glow colour. Orange is alluded to at the end of Hunting Palismen but starts to come into the picture for him in Clouds On The Horizon, and is contrasted with the medium blue in Eclipse Lake, vivid blue in Labyrinth Runners and dark blue in King's Tide:

The most vivid orange shade was when Luz told him "You're family now", versus the vivid bright blue right after he got possessed and had the absolute worst night in his life:

The Noceda house basement where he and Gus stayed was mostly orange. The Halloween Festival scene showed both colours, showing the transition from safety to danger:

Red and green: Flapjack was a vivid red colour, and the artificial magic used by Hunter and Belos was the same shade. Belos's goop colour is a sickly dark green shade. Something tells me that red points to Belos's portrayal of strength on the outside and his agenda as Emperor, since the most striking red lighting we see in the show is related to the Day of Unity. (Whereas blue might point to his chaotic internal state that unravels especially in King's Tide and the final act of Thanks to Them).

It's interesting that Hunter has red lighting behind him, holding Flapjack in staff form as support, during the first time he stands up to Belos:

Hunter witnesses Belos's 'death' in the frame with the most striking red, contrasted with his dread that Belos was in fact alive in the following episode:

But what stood out to me when he was so caring towards Willow in the most recent For the Future, was that the lighting was also dark green:

Maybe I'm reading too much into it but it's a really interesting colour choice for an overlap between Willow (whose theme colour is obviously green) at her lowest point and Hunter being in such a painful vulnerable place himself, to be able to connect with her from the emotional place of releasing some of his own immense traumatic grief.

Compare this point in his development where he has beautiful moments of vulnerability, to way back in Hollow Mind when we are faced with the big reveal and he's surrounded by red artificial magic as his world truly started to fall apart:

Finally there's the combination I have saved for last, yellow and purple, comparing Hunting Palismen and For the Future:

If you notice, a prominent portion of Hunting Palismen had yellow backgrounds and lighting (the location being Latissa), and clearly he was the character who stood out the most in that episode, being unmasked and all that.

Whereas For the Future showed a good deal of purple in the Boiling Isles - including what I think is a muted purple in the photo classroom of Hexside - since it is Luz's theme colour and was building up towards Luz gaining her staff and Stringbean hatching.

It's also interesting that 1) in Hunting Palismen, Luz had the major struggle of not pairing up with any palisman but goes through the challenge of rescuing the palismen that are taken by Hunter, and she ends up getting to know him. But 2) in For The Future, Hunter suffers from major grief after losing his palisman, and faces the challenge of accepting the loss while Luz gains her palisman:

In For the Future, there is this short scene where the lighting harks back to Flapjack fading away:

Some scenes with very low saturation of colour, but very light or very dark value, also marked significant turning points in his arc:

For obvious reasons, the lighting is neutral and not striking in more light-hearted scenes (though the first half of Labyrinth Runners is a bit of an exception here), such as the flyer derby scene in Any Sport In A Storm, or the thrift store scene in Thanks to Them.

How I wish I could've sat in the pre-production and production team meetings where these lighting-related decisions were made. Let's see what will happen in Watching and Dreaming!

#toh hunter #the owl house #toh analysis #hunting palismen #eclipse lake #hollow mind #labyrinth runners #clouds on the horizon #king's tide #thanks to them #for the future #loz writes a meta

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loadinghellsing · 9 months

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How do you think Alucard and Anderson would confess their feelings to each other?

How do you think Anderson deals with coming to terms with his feelings towards Alucard?

When it comes to Alucard and Anderson's dynamic, majority of their feelings are understood without ever being spoken or directly acknowledged. So for them to confess, truly confess, I don't see it coming naturally to either of them. Alucard needs a shove, and Anderson needs a bit of coaxing.

(WARNING: LONG POST - goes into depth beneath cut)

---

While Alucard shamelessly flirts with and praises Anderson at every opportunity. His admiration, awe, amusement, and thrill all evident. Because Anderson is a willing, capable opponent who shares beliefs parallel to Vlad's own. He's eager, passionate, and raw with his humanity. And he's capable of taking a hit and outliving those who are doomed by time alone. Alucard can endlessly adore him in specific and concept.

However, for Alucard to admit he loves Anderson. That he cares for him, both mentally and physically. Is an entirely different matter. To confess that he'd prioritize Anderson's needs over his own, is the type of commitment that distinguishes love (platonic or romantic), from obsession. It's an intimate and vulnerable feeling. So even if he acts on these emotions, the only way I see Alucard confessing to the hold Anderson has on his heart is when the honesty of that care is challenged.

It's confessed as a pained, furious scream. Not directed at Anderson, but at himself. Reflective of what it implies about his humanity, both past and present. It's confessing not only how important Anderson is to him, and the entirety of what that means. But it'd be a visceral moment where every word would burn his throat. Because it confesses how what remains of his humanity longs for Anderson, yet it's humanity he gave up. So it hardly matters, not when it all ends the same.

---

Contrast of Alucard, is Anderson. He's a naturally caring person, and to a degree, he's honest about his feelings. Including those for Alucard. In the heat of combat, they're easily set aside. But provided a moment of calm, of comfort and safety; he wouldn't deny that truth. Confessed feelings with all the fondness, protectiveness, honesty, pity, and love he has. Perhaps tired and defeated by the weight of those words, but they'd be genuine in their entirety.

However, extracting a compliment-based confession from Anderson would be a near impossible feat. It's not a matter of him 'denying his feelings'. But the challenge of acknowledging those feelings in relation to Alucard being a vampiric monstrosity. And admitting that he finds such a creature beautiful, a cosmic event functioning as a living force. A stunning, yet damning storm. It's a thought infinitely harder for Anderson to admit.

Any praise would be admitting his sins to the greatest sinner he knows. Perhaps over time, he'd make a quip or two. But it would remain a rare indulgence. He'd never be fully comfortable with it, but it's not entirely denied. Because it's a form of damnation he'd indulge in with Alucard. Since the idea of being condemned together isn't entirely unappealing.

---

In the end, it's Anderson struggling with damnation, and Alucard struggling with salvation. It's hard to tell who's leading who. If ones falling or the others rising. Majority of their relationship is deciding it doesn't truly matter. They lie somewhere in the between, where it is neither night nor day.

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entomolog-t · 3 months

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GtWAC Day 13 : 3 Different Genres

Clawing my way to catch up (We late late, but we WILL finish) 😭

Today's Prompt is Fic Recommendations in 3 different genres💕

First up is an INCREDIBLE work of Adventure Fantasy : Wick's End

@eightyuh Does an a phenomenal job taking a wild and unexpected concepted and pulling it together into a poignant metaphor. While Wick's End is full of hilarious moments, the comedy never seems to overtake the weight that the story carries. While we can laugh at Glen's expense, there is something deeply relatable and vulnerable about him as a character, making it so easy to feel for him and sympathize with his predicament.

Frankly all of the main cast has incredible premises that are both so out there, yet when shown in the context of their world they feel at home. It's something about the combination of the characters being real enough that you're able to both laugh at them, but also take their issues seriously- A dog struggling to understand human society is a fun and hilarious concept, but theres the weight of his realness?? The wanting of acceptance when others can't see him for what he is??? Like the skill to pace a story where the reader can bounce from laughing to feeling swept off their feet by the reality of their situation??

Each chapter has left me hooked and foaming at mouth for the next release- just ??? JGSFJKDGFKJ

I COULD GO ON FOR DAYS???

NEXT UP IS THIS ABSOLUTE GEM OF A OF A SCIFI HORROR SHORT- ANOTHER GTWAC CREATION TO BOOT!!! I read this a few nights back and was on the edge of my seat!! I absolute love the voice of the main character. @creatorofuniverses writes Casper in a way that genuinely makes them feel like a person I would know. They really do feel like you're everyday person got shoved into the widest job, and I am HERE for it. Without spoiling too much- I LOVED the creature descriptions, both aesthetics but also the mannerisms??? My gosh it just left me feeling so on edge??? Just such a great concept executed in a truly fun yet tense way! I would love to see more of Casper if you ever decide to use the premise as more than a short 😭💕

Finally we have the category of Dark Romance, with none other than @bittykimmy13 / @kendsleyauthor and their amazing fic The Clandestine Queen. Now this made for a wonderful read!! The premise is both so unique and also so uneasy??? There's a palpable tension throughout that just scratches something deep in my brain. Fantastic dialogue, wild premise, and a wonderfully competent female lead?? What more could a gal want? The interactions between Lorelei and the much more cold Andres are truly Dark Romance Magic (especially in the follow up piece) 😭 This just ticks every box for me and I cannot recommend this highly enough. The style of writing is captivating, the characters are intriguing, and the premise wonderfully unique!! The delivery from @kendsleyauthor as always never disappoints!!💕

#THIS FICS GIVE ME LIFE #SDJKWJFEHL #LOVE THESE SO MUCH #READ THEM #I COMMAND IT #g/t #giant/tiny #g/t community #g/t prompts #g/t writing #GtWac

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stackslip · 1 year

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the thing is i don't think fujimoto ever really likes to "make fun of" his characters or of particular classes of human beings. oh he likes to tease his characters and poke fun at them and make them suffer in a schadenfreude way, and he'll make the occasional one-page character whose sole purpose IS humorous (like that one dude in the international assassin arc who tries hard to introduce himself to the cast before being murdered by quanxi five panels later, or that one guy who's like CHAINSAW MAN DOESNT EXIST AND IS A USAMERICAN PSYOP). but like........ idk how to explain this but fujimoto is deeply, truly empathetic towards his characters and the very human aspects they represent. yes poor kobeni suffers (no grievous harm, mostly slapstick absurdist situations), but she's also a direct mirror to denji and it's her own decision to leave her abusive family whose demands had pushed her into shitty jobs that sparks the emotional climax of park 1. asa is pathetic and fujimoto pokes fun at her but she's also writen in a way that's so heartwrenchingly vulnerable and human, to the point it's hard to NOT relate to her suffering and struggle to forge connections. denji can be whacky and empty-brained, but the abuse and loneliness he suffer are portrayed with incredible intimacy and care. harumi rn is still mostly a joke but there's already hints at his vulnerabilities and how he uses chainsaw man to try to get others to like him at all.

idk! people call him a sadist who likes to make his characters suffer for nothing but i fully disagree. even in fire punch, by far the bleakest of his works, fujimoto's compassion for his characters and for their flaws shines through. fucking togata is a sadistic son of a bitch and a bit of a memelord until he gets humanized through--his transness, of all things. that moment togata is screaming at agni and talking about his gender dysphoria is one of the most raw but also most compassionate moments in the manga, and it's for a guy who until then enjoyed using human heads as footballs and purposefully dehumanized people through his camera and his "art"!

#eli talks

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oshiawaseni · 2 years

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The atypical shounen MC and his tsundere deuteragonist boyfriend

Izuku’s mental is cooked and one of my favourite gags in doujinshi is when someone, usually Kacchan, references his emotional instability. I’ll laugh and think “true sis” because I feel a kinship in that doujinka seeing it in him too. And then Izuku can also be a trigger happy cry baby and that’s not “normal” for shounen MCs. I adore Horikoshi for designing and fitting him outside the box of certified normal™ standards. Because that box is a trap. It’s a stereotypical, overused and tiring pitfall of shounen protags past. It does make you wonder, though… if Horikoshi isn’t afraid of making his MC completely susceptible to his emotions, what else isn’t he afraid of..?

Izuku presents as a high in “typically feminine” energies, incredibly giving, considerate, loving, sensitive, yet somehow still ambiguous teenager (none of us know for sure what he truly thinks or feels most of the time, as he is prone to keeping his innermost feelings tightly locked inside his chest, where they can’t be judged or rejected) and to round his personality off, his role was cast to a seiyuu who has a higher vocal register and the same beautiful soul, but Izuku can sometimes be emotionally volatile. I can’t think of any major shounens that have written their MC in this way. I think that is why we sometimes see people call bnha mid. Because just like the mha fandom dudebros who stan Izuku when he was at his worst because he was more of a Chad for them, I think these people simply don’t understand Izuku and his sensitivity to emotions he feels with his whole self, so they can’t relate to him well.

But that’s what makes him so unique and loveable to the rest of us - just as he represents quirklessness in the series, he is also a king of neurodiversity. His head’s got a screw or two loose, right? His thinking has always been out of whack and we know this to be true because the person who knows him best says it too and he doesn’t even know the other half of it.

Kacchan sees the boy who’s pushing himself too hard to prove his worth but from our perspective, Izuku also has breakdowns, ptsd, memory lapses and is losing his shit at the slightest slight to Kacchan. All of this is in contrast to Kacchan who used to be just as screwed up with his own lifelong misunderstandings and foul temperament, but has been slowly getting his act together, and while doing so, metaphorically grabbing Izuku by the hands, gently taking him along with him, to that same path of self-care that Kacchan also longs for him. So that they can live healthier lives together. Apologetically so, because Kacchan feels a lot of Izuku’s messed up thinking/behaviour is somewhat his fault. That simply by being in each other’s lives, their problems and feelings had become so tangled and twisted for years. So Kacchan has been desperately trying to unravel and blow away the garbage of it all and go back to how it should have been, had he taken that small, unassuming and kind hand 12, 13 years ago.

Their struggle and battle with feelings for each other is what makes the main bnha relationship so interesting and endearing. They say there’s a fine line between love and hate and they have both loved each other a lot and hated each other in between, but through it all, through every moment, in every interaction they have together, it is so clear to me and to all of us here rooting for them that they need and complete each other.

They are both for each other: the Ying to the other’s Yang, the quiet and understanding kindness to the fragile vulnerability, the heart on the other’s sleeve, the anchor of reason to the unreasonable and the personal hero who always saves them, again and again, without hesitation. Two complete opposites that eventually lost to their unshakeable magnetism, overcoming their messed up history together and subsequently revealing feelings that yield the angsty fine print of them both screaming out into the void:

“PLEASE DON’T LEAVE MY SIDE!”

This kizuna-bound pair have gone through so much pain and misunderstanding, only to realise the life-or-death need and crazy, obsessive, passionate love for their “most closest” other half, and damn it, if they were never meant to become canon after all this slowburn buildup, I’m going to throw down with Kohei🥊😤… 😂

#bakudeku #phew #manifesting canon romance #@horikoshi #you aren’t allowed to jebait me kohei #op #bnha meta #bkdk brainrot #aka #kana isn’t managing her mental illness and expectations #Deku loves kacchan #Kacchan loves deku #izuku midoriya #Katsuki Bakugou #long post #🙈#🥱 goodnight #must read meta

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neerons · 3 days

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Hi! I'd like to know your opinion on one of my expectations for Kazuomi's next season. I have a question for you too ☺️

**Spoilers alert : I talk a little about Kei and Yuzu's past stories**

In the near future, Kazuomi will definitely reveal his true self to the MC, but I also want her to have some deductions about the truth he's hiding (his past and his real feelings). The MC has a really good intuition, and she likes to investigate. So I don't want her to only wait for him to share his feelings and do nothing. I want her to show Kazuomi and let him know that he can actually talk to her and be vulnerable around her. Because she will always be by his side and love him no matter what. Kazuomi has always been here when the MC was feeling down and lost. This time, it's Kazuomi who needs help, even though he thinks otherwise.

I want to see more sweet moments between these two lovers. More importantly, I don't want Kazuomi to still feel lonely and to not feel understood. It means the world to him that the MC respects his boundaries and understands him like no one else did. Therefore, I hope the MC won't be too passive in the next stories and that she will try to find the truth by herself, to help and truly understand Kazuomi. You know, similar to Kei and Yuzu's stories. I'm aware that Kazuomi has a different writer, but I want his story to be as well-written as Kei and Yuzu's stories. In fact, Kazuomi is a complex character who needs good development.

When it comes to the past, he is, among the 3S, the one who keeps chasing his past. **Spoilers : We know that Kei unconsciously erased his past in order to protect himself from his trauma. For Yuzu, he chose to abandon his little brother in order to have a better future, and he doesn't regret his choice. However, he feels guilty as he still cares for his brother.**

On the other hand, Kazuomi claims to not care about the past and says that the present is more important to him. We now know it's not the case. He wants to forget his past and so, he tries to be someone who lives in the present, but it's only a mask. Like I said in a previous comment, his past still haunts him today and he can't deny it. (I don't know if you read Jujutsu Kaisen, but Kazuomi's issue with his past kind of reminds me of Gojo Satoru's story)

Furthermore, if we analyse Kazuomi's character, we can see that most of the things he does are related to his past. For example, his dream to open a resort, the meaning of Christmas for him, his love for games and gambling (in addition to the anticipation and the mental thrill of not knowing the outcome because of all the different possibilities), his love for sweets and desserts, his feeling of loneliness and his struggle to really trust others (sometimes he can be emotionally detached), etc. That's why his upcoming stories must be well-written because Kazuomi is the character who needs to confront his past the most. I know you'll post a detailed analysis of the characters from MK, so I can't wait to read it!

Of course, all of the things I've written will happen depending on the plot for his upcoming season. Someone of Kazuomi's past life will most likely appear too (similar to Kei and Yuzu's stories). Who do you think it could be, and why?

I'm sorry I wrote a lot haha. Thanks for reading until the end! ❤️

Heya 🥰

Kazuomi's Cryptic Past

As of now, we can only interpret how things will go since we don't know what happened to him other than his family basically betrayed him. He lost everything. He felt lonely and not loved. He became homeless. He hates his father more than anyone, too, it seems.

I totally agree that Kazuomi needs to rely on others, especially MC, about his past. We should be able to see that soon once his next season is released.

Maybe the MC will have her own deductions from his past and play an active role in discovering it for herself, or maybe she'll actually decide to keep those deductions to herself and let Kazuomi reveal it to her, out of consideration and love for him.

When it comes to Kazuomi, he knows that MC is there for him. He's already aware of that, deep down. As you said, he also appreciates that she doesn't push him for answers and revelations about his past.

In his mind, he already sees her as the woman of his life. The only one who could understand him that well, and not press him for answers. She's irreplaceable to him.

But Kazuomi is also someone who has been betrayed before. Especially by his father, and by women, especially his "mother". The story with his "mother" was vague but it seemed to have had a huge impact on him, and I don't know exactly what she did, but it's clear he was incredibly hurt by this woman. In the end, he didn't feel truly loved by her.

So it makes sense that he might not completely feel ready to be weak in front of someone again, even if it's the love of his life. He doesn't want to be weak in front of her and have her pity him, even if she's not like that.

Due to that, I assume, he often tests MC along his seasons to see how much of him she is willing to accept, and she always accepts him and loves him more, which in turn makes him love her even more, and it shows us how far their love can go (it's infinite, I'm telling you 🥰)

So this next step is, I think, going to be Kazuomi finally revealing his past in his next big MS and see how MC will react to the "real Kazuomi" and if she's still going to love him.

It's possible that the real Kazuomi is, at least according to him, pathetic, naive and weak. Or maybe it's a side of him more cruel than what he has shown her before.

Deep down, I think he's scared of what she'll think of him, and he hopes she'll accept him despite his many flaws. But he's also convinced "forever" doesn't exist, and that even their relationship might be a fleeting one.

He is currently in a philosophical conflict. He wants her by his side, wants her to know everything, but at what cost? Will she eventually leave once she knows? Will Kazuomi risk losing his life in a new gamble, and he'll have to say farewell to her?

I expect the MC to once again show him she loves him just as he is, because he is him, the man she loves, which will probably surprise and touch Kazuomi's heart way more than anyone ever could. And he'll realize and have the confirmation that he doesn't need anything but her.

MC's Personality & Love for Kazuomi

As for her, she is aware that he doesn't want to talk about his past, and she saw it when he became surprisingly silent when he was affected by memories of his past in the R&C event.

Despite her agent side, curiosity and love for investigation, we often overlook that the MC is a woman respectful enough to not poke her nose where she feels it doesn't belong.

She loves Kazuomi so much and is worried about him, rightfully so, but she doesn't want to cross a boundary without permission or consideration. She'd love for him to tell her about it someday, but she's waiting for him to be ready.

Him opening up on his own to her without her asking wouldn't be such a bad thing to me to be honest. I sure hope she plays a role in his story, and she will as always, but I think Kazuomi revealing his past to her would be a great depiction of his trust and love towards her.

Trust me, I love MC being badass and doing her job amazingly well and going beyond expectations. And if she does have a mission or a situation where she has to uncover his past in full detail, I hope it'll be done well too in a beautifully written story again.

The problem is: if she decides to uncover his past herself, how will he take it?

He treats his past like a highly confidential mission. It's possible that, if she gets involved into it too deeply in the end, they'll have to become foes again. And then Kazuomi will ultimately realize he wants her to know and won't stop her from knowing.

Or, if his past becomes dangerous for her, he'll feel guilty because she's now in danger because of him. We can't really know how things will turn out since we have no clues about what even happened to him before.

Possible outcomes in the next season?

I actually can see his next season going two different ways (at least):

She discovers the truth about his past through a mission (and the client could even be the antagonist). She'll have to put her feelings aside and fulfill her mission while having mixed feelings about discovering something he wanted to hide to the world and especially to her. Kazuomi might become distant as he decides to face his past alone and puts himself in danger against the antagonist, which will fuel the MC to save him

Another situation would be him opening up to her once the drama of his past (lui pète à la gueule 🤣) happens and he has to face his past forcefully because the antagonist either shamelessly reveals his past publicly, or in front of MC, or he'd just put Kazu and MC in a situation where they have to talk about it. And then, MC, and maybe even Yuzu, Kei, and others? would decide to help him out against said antagonist

No matter how it goes, I'm sure it'll be well written. I have never been disappointed honestly. I always see the reasoning behind the characters' actions which is probably why I'm never mad or sad about developments?

At least in MK, I've never been bothered by how a season has been written (except the case about the way the Boss' last season was treated, which is more of an exception, since Voltage discontinued him abruptly and left him with plot holes and left me with my HEART BROKEN GAHH)

Kazuomi's manufactured personality

It's funny that you mention Jujutsu Kaisen and especially Gojo Satoru when you talk about Kazuomi, because JJK became one of my favorite animes and mangas, and Gojo has a special place in my heart. I have started reading the manga so nobody spoils me!!

I can see the similarity between Gojo and Kazu. Their bubbly, quirky and charismatic personality hides the scars they try to run away from. It's also a distraction for them (and it helps them distract others from their vulnerability, too)

It makes them overcome their sadness, loneliness and anger as well since putting on a different mask enables you to put distance between your present self and your past self.

Like you said, It's clear that Kazuomi chases his past. He's the one character from MK who's really secretive about what happened to him, even more than Kei who runs away from a past full of trauma, more than Yuzu who fights against his emotions, and more than the Boss who is KNOWN for not being straightforward and having his emotions be "inactive", if that makes sense.

And I'm so curious and also scared to know what he's really like. Because I love the way he is now personality-wise, but I hope I'll love him even more once his mask falls for good. I also hope he'll still be his witty and fun self, but I'm sure his story will be amazing.

Who's the antagonist?

When it comes to who they'll be up against next time, considering the revelations from the Revenge & Challenge event, the only people I assume could make an appearance are Kazuomi's father, or maybe his "mother".

I don't know if they'd be the potential antagonists. It's possible that they were more victims to Kazuomi's father's dangerous relationships and got screwed. But Kazuomi resents his father a lot. I can't know how bad his father is, but he's not the purest person on Earth. It could be him.

In the Japanese app, we're also getting another event about the guys' pasts currently, so it's not unlikely that his parents will be making an appearance if they're still alive.

If it's not the parents, it's likely someone who knows about his parents, and past (and is linked to it) that we don't know about yet. Like Nate from Kei's Eden's Love story, who is an antagonist we couldn't have predicted. It could be one of the guys his father had secret meetings with. They were bad, and probably belonged to a sort of mafia (I forgot and I'm too lazy to check again I'll admit)

Conclusion (...am I writing an essay again? 🤣)

No matter how the season happens, the important thing, to me, is that Kazuomi finally learns to believe in "forever" and stabilizes himself with MC in the end. I hope he'll be able to live freely with her and that he can move on after all these years of suffering.

We should all forget our expectations for his route and just enjoy the ride when the time comes, though. In my humble opinion, we shouldn't wish for too many things, because that'd just make us closer to the end of his route, and it makes room for disappointment if something doesn't happen the way we wanted it to.

We have one of the best titles Voltage has made, and one of the best LIs, the elite among the elites, so let's appreciate the hard work behind it and see what the next season has to offer again. Personally, I know I'll love it 💖

(And thank you for your enthusiasm about the characters' analyses! They'll be separated into different posts for each character, and Yuzu will be the first to be out when the time comes I think. But I'm re reading every MS to do a good job, as well as reading Ikémen Prince and making art most of the time, so it's taking time haha)

Thank you for the ask!

#ask #kazuomi shido #masquerade kiss #voltage inc #love 365 #otome game #voltage #love 365 find your story #mk #otome games #voltage otome #kei soejima #yuzuru shiba #masquerade kiss boss #seiichi setoyanagi #gojo satoru #jjk #jujutsu kaisen

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yuikomorii · 2 years

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// Either my internet or this app failed me because I saved a draft from an Anon but it disappeared so I'm going to respond it in this manner. The Anon was basically saying that Yui in Ayato's MB route had no development because "she lost all self-respect”, and while I have nothing against people expressing their opinions, having the right to an opinion does not make it correct. Yes, she became desperate for his love, but she realized something crucial in the last chapter that completely changed everything.

Ayato's MB route was surely not the best in the whole franchise, but it showed Yui learning from her mistakes, which made me very proud of her. Normally, heroines are portrayed as too good for anyone, always righteous and admirable, but Yui felt really realistic here because of her imperfections.

When I first went through the route, I couldn't help but feel bad for Yui, however that was because I put myself in her shoes, yet in Ecstasy 10, I realized that it wasn't Ayato who made the biggest mistakes, but Yui.

Let's start with the Dark chapters: in Dark 2, Yui confesses her love to Ayato after drinking a truth serum, implying that she fell for him a long time ago. She says things like, "You're so cute! I want to give you headpats! Your kisses and bites feel amazing... I want more!", which sounds kinda superficial, so it's no surprise Ayato concluded she only used him for looks and pleasure. To summarize, Yui had this idealized image of Ayato in her head, and when you idealize someone, you create a pretend fantasy about who they are, and then you value the fantasy more than the reality, which Yui did. She placed the "perfect" Ayato on a pedestal and completely overlooked his flaws, so when he revealed his flaws, she became depressed and was like:”No, this can’t be… this isn’t the usual Ayato-kun!”.

Now, Ayato was also in the wrong and his extreme trust issues bothered me more than the fact that he kept calling her "prey." That was quite sad at first, but after learning the true motives behind it, it became somewhat reasonable? Humans, after all, are mere prey in the eyes of vampires, as they require their blood to survive, but it's not just that. Ayato has a very low self-esteem, and it is confirmed in MB that he believes no one will ever love him back, which is why he doesn't want to make anyone special. He had to obey Cordelia's orders his entire life in order to make her proud, and he was never allowed to be his true self and do what makes him happy. The fact that Yui only loved his ideal image but screamed/cried when he was struggling with the awakening as Adam process only reinforced his belief that Yui was... nothing special, just like any other girl: someone who only wants pleasure and likes him as long as he doesn't show his bad sides. Of course, Yui isn't that type of girl, but he couldn't have known that at the time.

Returning to Ecstasy 10, it's one of my favorite DL chapters in general because Yui's growth is *chef's kiss*. She realizes Ayato's flaws after being caught by him and having him open up to her; he can be mean, dishonest, and very bad at conveying feelings, but these are the aspects of him that make Ayato... Ayato.

Yui: I was too focused on myself that I failed to realize. All I wanted was to be loved as myself, but… I guess I didn't look at Ayato-kun properly either.

This was the only route where Yui was truly selfish, because she was mostly concerned with her own feelings rather than attempting to understand Ayato's, but to be honest, this makes her even more relatable and human-like. Let's face it: everyone sometimes cares more about their own well-being than others, even if we have good intentions and do it without noticing. The fact that Yui realized her mistake and began paying attention to the real Ayato screams development to me. She even fell more in love with him after he revealed his vulnerable side. This was one of the most genuine moments in DL history because they both had the same goal: to be loved as themselves, and they both achieved it. Yes, their actions were bad, but at least they learned something important.

People seem to forget that Yui is only 17 years old with no previous dating experience. They expect Yui to be the one who teaches the Diaboys about love, despite the fact that she has no idea what love is either. Ayato's MB route actually made her go through this as a teenager, because it taught her how to love and what loving someone means.

In addition, Ayato doesn’t only care about her blood, as the Anon said; even in the official book, after talking about the appearance of the Mukami brothers, it is mentioned this: 「ただのエサとしてではなく、彼女の心を欲するアヤト」 which means “Ayato desires her heart, not just as prey”, and later on it is written how he is unable to speak frankly and tries to hide his sad feelings behind his rough words. He had been crushing on her for almost the entire route, and it wasn't the blood that mattered to him, but Yui as a person.

#diabolik lovers #yui komori #ayato sakamaki #ayato x yui #ayayui #dialovers #admin

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invested-in-your-future · 2 months

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Honestly the way Ruby was reluctant to form new connections at Beacon, wanted to appear normal, but then went out of her way to prove to Weiss her worth, before she was assigned as the leader, makes me assume that she's sort of a people pleaser. Ruby appears way more like a people pleaser than Yang.

Ruby is complicated because her decisions and behavior stem from her desire to walk in her mother's steps.

I'd imagine she would be perfectly fine with not interacting with people -, the attire choice, beyond allusions to her mother, always felt to me like her way to separate from the world around her.

Where I think it gets complicated is that while she doesn't really want or need people to give her validation, at the same time, others deconstructing her motivations or poking holes in her ideals is her ultimate weakness. It's why Roman's big monologue on that airship serves as a crucial moment that tears her down as a person.

(and it's why the V3 finale is built in such a way that tears down her motivations and destroys her while contrasting it with narrative framing her as a leader in that Arena stand-off segment, not to mention being part of some secret ancient legacy - Ruby is given validation but it's not what she needs nor what she wants)

Meanwhile, Weiss's very existence challenges her very being - Ruby's first impression of her is that of a rich social butterfly who flourishes in crowds, always ending up the center of attention - someone smart, someone who is a powerful fighter and someone who knows what they want from their life.

Her introduction and Weiss's early interactions with Ruby all scream at her - "This is what a Huntress should be, this is what a competent person looks like and you are not like her."

This clashes with Ruby's own self-doubt - her need to "belong" in Beacon due to how it ties into her life's purpose - her need to BE a hero/Huntress like her mother.

She doesn't really want to be liked or useful, but she wants to be a Huntress.

She doesn't want to be praised nor to get that positive feedback, but she can't stand any negative feedback.

She wants to deny her, she reacts to react Weiss in a specific way.

But more importantly, Ruby wants to prove Weiss wrong, and she wants to prove herself wrong.

At the same time, I think Ruby subconsciously gravitates towards people who are hurt (whether dealing with grief or trauma) but have to put on cheerful masks to survive - it's not a coincidence that Ruby's first "real" friends are Weiss (abuse survivor and someone who struggles with identity issues) and Penny (existential crisis due to exploration of developing consciousness) and that the huntress she idolizes is Pyrrha (someone who struggles with being put on pedestal and who had to keep up appearances all her life to the point that it would drive others away and she would struggle with genuine interactions).

At some level Ruby recognizes those struggling with the same issues as her and relates to them - Ruby and Weiss's relationship only truly takes a step forward when Weiss lets her guard down around her in that V1 dorm scene, which means that in the end what progresses their relationship is less Ruby proving herself and more of both actually being vulnerable around each other and thus kindred.

In fact, I'd say the show specifically tells that "proving yourself" is a bit toxic of an idea - it's understanding and connections that matter in the end.

Like, it's the most obvious with Jaune, who doesn't prove to be stronger but, rather proves to be a better person than Cardin by actually willing to risk his life for someone who actively blackmails and bullies him.

There is a certain overlap between Yang and Ruby, though because, in a certain way, Yang's coping mechanism and how she behaves is emulating Ruby, but both are doing it for entirely different motives.

Yang hides a softer, vulnerable side behind a hard-headed, angry exterior, while Ruby hides all her anger and emotional turmoil behind a cheerful, more reserved facade.

Yang rushes headfirst and takes the hits, while Ruby, even at her closest combat range still keeps her enemies at a distance, not to mention having a semblance designed around avoiding hits.

Yang's choice of attire is extravagant and draws attention to her, while Ruby's is designed to blend in and hide.

Yang copes by getting into fights to let off steam, while Ruby bottles it all inside till she can't.

Ruby gravitates towards a person hiding her loneliness behind a facade, while Yang gravitates toward someone who feels aimless just like her.

At the end of V3, Yang copes with trauma by shutting down and distancing herself, while Ruby copes with anger outbursts, essentially reversing their positions.

Yang and Ruby both parallel AND contrast each other.

Yang derives her self-worth from how "useful" she can be to others because she doesn't know what she wants in life and because she has mostly just gone with the flow after giving up whatever childhood dreams she might have had.

Ruby on the other hand knows what she wants from life but it is outright impossible - being viewed as a hero wouldn't make her one nor let her save people, for example. It's exactly why most of the first volumes are just her delaying(or running from) that realization of just how silly and impossible "And then everybody lived happily ever after" is in that world. It's something she had refused to face since Summer disappeared, after all.

#rwby #ruby rose #weiss schnee #penny polendina #rwby meta stuff mine #rwby stuff mine #rwby asks #Yang Xiao Long #blake belladonna

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indndwnshead · 8 months

Text

Soulful Strangers: Part III - ...friends

Pairing: Min Yoongi x (f) Reader

Genre/tags: Actors AU, Somewhat Canon Compliant, Stranger to Friends to Lovers, Slow(ish) Burn

Series summary:

It wasn't during your first encounter, nor the second or third. You've lost count of how many times your paths crossed before you truly got to know him. He was a rare soul, hiding his kindness and true emotions, revealing them only through his actions

In this (maybe low-key soulmate AU) story, follow Actress!Reader and Idol!Min Yoongi as their chance encounters gradually blossom into a deep and lasting connection. This is a slowish-burn journey from strangers to friends to lovers, as they bond over shared passions and kindness.

Warning: this chapter: - is basically me worshipping Yoongi's music - contains assumptions about the social service agent system. I took the liberty of assuming this chapter scenario is possible - all concert-related are purely based on what I've seen online, apologise if there are details I missed!

A/N: Tell me what you think, please! I'm devastated that I can't watch the D-Day show since I joined this bandwagon far too late :( Let's be friends and stan Yoongi together on twitter @itsdndwn 💜💜

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Masterlist. Previous Chapter. Next Chapter.