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rebeltarot · 2 months

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YOUR UNIVERSE ➕ Who are you becoming now, and who are you meant to become?

"We can’t become what we need to be by remaining what we are."

[3 piles] ・ [3 decks] ・ [10 cards for each pile] ・ [letters, signs, songs]

Hello friends! It's almost International Women's Day, and I am so excited to share this reading with you. We are focusing on who you are becoming now, and who you are meant to become! Are you planning on rebranding yourself? Definitely let me know. I hope you'll enjoy this reading as much as I did doing it. See you on the other side! 🤭🤭🤭

Painting: The Rehearsal of the Ballet Onstage - Edgar Degas (1874)

Helpful Links: How to choose your pile ➕ Request a reading

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PILE 01 ➕

Disclaimer: All Tarot readings on this blog are meant for entertainment purposes only. My Pick-a-card readings are based on my knowledge of the tarot and my intuition. Tarot is a divination tool and should not be considered a replacement for medical or professional guidance. It is not intended to be used as such, and any choices made in response to my readings are your own responsibility. All interpretations are speculative, and whether you believe in it is your choice. Readings are for self-reflection purposes only; take what resonates, and leave the rest. My readings are timeless unless stated otherwise.

CONFIRMATION

Signs and confirmation that this is your pile. This can be anything from your initials, astrological placements, significant messages or signs, places, songs, etc. Please use your discernment.

E, blank, E, I, 8th House, North Node, Cancer, "be fearless, change is good"

Song: BESIDE U - MONSTA X, Pitbull

CARDS

Tarot: 10 of cups, the wheel of fortune, 7 of pentacles, king of cups

Oracle: pioneer, the spymaster, deer, Martyr, the brawler, moose

WHO ARE YOU BECOMING NOW?

Hello, Pile 01, and welcome to your reading. Currently, you are becoming someone with overflowing cups. You have much love and happiness to give and share with others. It feels like you are aligning with who you are and what brings you joy, which leads to fulfillment and a sense of belonging. I see harmony playing a huge role here. You are finding your balance and being at peace with yourself. This new version of you that you are growing into is collecting a lot of good karma. Things are moving and developing in your favor. You are in the midst of a transformative stage that leads to a lot of luck and positivity. You are going to become someone who welcomes change and strives to move with integrity. You are sharing your wealth, and you are swimming in your own passions and good fortune. It's so interesting to me because, essentially, this describes a creator, someone who is open to new experiences and open to trying and creating new things that others have not done before. It also reminds me of cycle breakers. This new version of you holds a lot of empathy and grace. You are learning and unlearning a lot right now, and I feel like you are going to be smart with the knowledge you attain. There is still a sense of distrust here, meaning that while, yes, you are growing into this person with an abundance of love to give and happiness to experience, you are not yet fully trusting that reality. Meaning that you are still in the beginning stages; it's new to you. You have figured out a lot of things, and positivity is already manifesting for you, but it feels like it has not been long enough and you have not collected enough positive evidence vs. the negative experiences. It feels fragile still. You are, however, being a lot more gentle with yourself. The person you are becoming right now wraps everything in love. Your first go-to move is to meet the situations you encounter with tenderness and compassion. You are healing right now with the power of love, and the person you are growing into can see the light and good in all things and situations. The reason is that you are finally seeing your self-worth, and you're acknowledging your grace. Beautiful.

WHO ARE YOU MEANT TO BECOME?

You are meant to be a seeker, someone who keeps searching for new ways and new opportunities. You are not meant to sit idle; instead, you are supposed to become a person who is continuously striving for new ways and solutions. A thinker and a pioneer. You are meant to dream and implement. To move past illusions, find multiple ways and solutions to problems and situations. You are meant to be a dreamer and an idealist. Someone wise and diplomatic. Holding a lot of compassion and being devoted to the good and beautiful things in life. You are meant to become a person who can balance the head and the heart. Being of service to yourself and others is your cause and purpose in life. You are meant to use your knowledge and creativity for that. You are meant to help and support those around you who are hurt by bandaging them up and guiding them towards empathy. Helping others confront themselves and their lack of compassion and grace for themselves and others. You are meant to let your head and mind reach to the stars, yet stay grounded on the earth. Listening to your inner knowing and your attained wisdom to guide others through their journey. You are meant to be a guide because you have learned a lot and know a lot.

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PILE 02 ➕

CONFIRMATION

Signs and confirmation that this is your pile. This can be anything from your initials, astrological placements, significant messages or signs, places, songs, etc. Please use your discernment.

D, I, C, T, S, Aquarius, Venus, 6th House

Song: Out of luck - Tkay Maidza, Lolo Zouaï, Amber Mark

CARDS

Tarot: 7 of wands, the emperor, 6 of wands, 6 of cups

Oracle: hawk, athlete, the heir, sea turtle, advocate, the poet

WHO ARE YOU BECOMING NOW?

Hello, Pile 02, and welcome to your reading. You are becoming a person with a lot of stamina, capable of persevering through challenges and competition. You can protect yourself; you are willing to work on yourself and do the difficult things if it means that it helps you progress and grow. You are not backing away from a challenge; instead, you are running towards what scares you. I see you becoming someone who is disciplined and who creates stability and success. You can rely on yourself, and you take charge and control over your life by putting in the action needed to move forward. Truly impressive. You are also becoming more observant; you are taking in the information you can collect, and you are opening up your vision to any signs around you, guiding you, and relaying a message to you. It's like you have gotten rid of the blinders that kept you from seeing, and now you are going through life with 20/20 vision. You can determine your priorities and focus on them by eliminating any distractions. You are being honest with yourself and working with who you are instead of against you. You are aware of your 'weaknesses'. Honestly, the work you are putting in right now is truly valuable and opens up a bright future for yourself. You are allowing yourself to succeed. The person you are becoming is not afraid anymore of success, and you are stepping out of your way, ascending to new heights. Whatever limits you might have had before, you are transcending them. You are developing your willpower and strength of spirit, which makes you honestly unstoppable. You are now seeing your unseen potential, and you are wearing that crown without any hesitation.

WHO ARE YOU MEANT TO BECOME?

You are meant to be someone who is in harmony, in alignment, and able to pivot when need be. The person you are meant to become is a winner; you are meant to experience success, win, and gain public recognition for your efforts and fame. You are meant to progress, grow, and move forward. The person you are growing into is confident in themselves; you are meant to walk with your shoulders straight and your head held high. You are destined to be someone! The fame aspect can be global or related to your industry or community, but either way, you are meant to be acknowledged. You are predestined to be an inspiration. I feel like this heavily relates to childhood dreams and innocent intentions. You are meant to be someone joyful, someone who looks back on your life with happiness. You are supposed to be someone who holds a lot of goodwill and can reach out their hand to others with positivity and appreciation. I see you being meant to be a protector. You are destined to master finding life's flow and to be in harmony with the rhythm of life to unfold your path. You are supposed to become a hard-working person who perseveres. Your mastery of yourself will protect you and lead to a lot of happiness and fulfillment. You are meant to inspire others to put compassion into action as well as be an advocate, someone who uses their public attention and recognition to channel it into growth. To advocate for important causes that allow humanity as a whole to move forward and transform. Through your connections and through your words, you are meant to lead with vulnerability and honesty. With the feather pen, a part of this pile is certainly meant to become writers or public speakers of some sort. Some might become poets or musicians, too.

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PILE 03 ➕

CONFIRMATION

Signs and confirmation that this is your pile. This can be anything from your initials, astrological placements, significant messages or signs, places, songs, etc. Please use your discernment.

A, A, O, N, Aries, Mercury, 9th House

Song: is it new years yet? - Sabrina Carpenter

CARDS

Tarot: 9 of wands, 5 of wands, Knight of wands, 3 of cups

Oracle: dragonfly, mystic, the founder, owl, don Juan, the dancer

WHO ARE YOU BECOMING NOW?

Hello, Pile 03, and welcome to your reading. You are currently becoming resilient. Nothing can stop you as you courageously persist through whatever challenges you are met with. You are mastering setting boundaries, and you are guarding yourself and your peace. I do feel like you are becoming someone who does not shy away from conflict or opposition. Instead, you are welcoming diversity and opposing opinions to strengthen your muscles. What's interesting in your pile is how magic plays a big role both in who you are becoming now and who you are meant to become. The owl and the dragonfly are both associated with that keyword. You are openly embracing transformation and change. And you are courageously letting go of the past, allowing the magic of nature that is in you to highlight your brilliance and your blessings. I also see you embracing the divine more intimately in your life; take this however it resonates for you. For some, this talks about religion; for others, it talks about spirituality; and for another portion, it relates to practices such as tarot, etc. Either way, you are growing closer to the divine and embracing your inner wisdom. I see you also building something valuable and stable. You are founding something and birthing something brand new to you that has not existed before. I see you laying sustainable and stable foundations and building yourself a community that will last. You are heavily investing in your "village.".

WHO ARE YOU MEANT TO BECOME?

Who you are meant to become is someone inspiring and energetic. Your future self is supposed to take inspired action and follow your intuition. You are meant to be impulsive and adventurous, spontaneous, and take on any challenge that presents itself to you and that you find interesting enough to face and engage in. I see you being meant to play an integral part in a community of people that you have built, creating new things together, brainstorming, and birthing something essential in union with other people. It could very well be a community of something. Either way, it's magical and relates to your inner vision and wisdom. You are meant to choose to see the truth and see through deception. You are destined to let the past go and make room for a better life, so you can experience the good life. The person you are meant to become is supposed to rise because magic and wisdom are your birthright. I also feel like you are meant to lean into your seductive qualities. You are charming and persuasive; own that. You are destined to be free and to dance to your beat. Self-expression and inner strength are really big factors in who you are meant to become. To show up authentically in a one-size-fits-all world takes a lot of courage and strength, and you are destined to do exactly that. Show your true self and follow your intuition; it will never lead you astray.

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glassartpeasants · 2 months

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Run Rabbit Run .08

Yandere!Eustass Kid x F!Reader

Warnings: Mentions of death, blood, reader having a crisis, pregnancy, angst, probably slight cringe cause i've been sleep deprived and think everything good idea then, and most likely other shit i can't think of atm

A/N: apparently my body can't decide whether to write Kid or Kidd cause i wrote Kidd half way through this after spelling it 'Kid' in the last two fic's. So please bare with my stupidity

@rebeccawinters @iggy5055 @dairygrrl @childconnoisseur @menifire1092 @nerdgeekandeverysweet-blog @tremendoushorsepatrolgoth

pt.1 pt.2 pt.3 pt.4 pt.5 pt.6 pt.7 pt.8 pt.9 pt.10

~~~

Even though you’ve been counting down the months to finally reach Sabaody, a part of you yearned for just a few more weeks with G-5. Now, with only three more days till you dock at the archipelago, the excitement is palpable. Time seemed to have a mind of its own, neither hastening nor slowing. They say time flies when you're having fun, and indeed it did. Four months dwindled to three, then two, and before you knew it, you were down to mere days.

You couldn’t wait to see everyone, to reveal the person you’ve become during the two-year separation. The anticipation to demonstrate your newfound devil fruit powers and everything Smoker and G-5 have instilled in you. To prove that you've earned the title of a Straw Hat. That even in the face of pregnancy, you stand strong, capable of protecting yourself and your friends. You’ve toiled day and night to hone your abilities and devil fruit powers, all while nurturing the life growing within you.

Tashigi helped you in buying things that’d make your life a bit easier. Pregnancy pillows, maternity clothes, vitamins to keep yourself healthy, and everything in between. She even convinced you to write a journal for every day of your pregnancy. It did help a lot more than you thought it would. You wrote what you wouldn’t tell anyone else and how you truly felt about your situation that day. Some good and some bad.

A wave of emotions would often overwhelm you when something triggered memories of your time with Kidd. The echo of people calling your name, the rumble of thunder, all reminiscent of your time spent in the shadows. While you knew you’d never be the same person you were before Kidd, you have strived to heal from all the things that have transpired.

It wasn’t working very well, though.

Looking at any reflective surface has your heart shattering when your eyes land on the visible scars on your body. Trying to picture yourself without the scars was impossible as you struggled not to imagine Kidd in the image as well. It was almost easier to pretend you were born with your scars rather than think about the one that gave them to you. Even in everyday life, he'd pop into your head when you weren’t thinking about him. Closing your eyes, you still see his amber eyes staring right back at you.

Being alone with your thoughts always makes things difficult. If it were too quiet, you’d hear his voice whispering in your ear. Feeling his fingers touching your skin when you wore short-sleeved shirts was also common. Times when you were so close to slumber, you’d start to smell his presence. The only thing that seems to calm you down now is a tune your mother used to sing to you.

It had been sealed away in your memories for years, and now you managed to remember the words and tune after having a dream about her singing it to you. You watched her rock yourself as she sang the little song before tucking you in. Her face was a blur, but you could still hear her. At least you could still remember her voice. Yet when she stopped singing, you immediately woke up.

Since then, you’ve been subconsciously humming it when working around the ship. You remember getting embarrassed when Tashigi asked you what you were singing. When you told her that it was something your mother sang to you when you were a baby, she got stars in her eyes.

“You should sing to them! I heard it’s extremely beneficial to the baby!” You couldn’t help but laugh.

“Your more invested in this pregnancy than I am, and I'm the one carrying the baby.”

“I heard it’s great for bonding and-” She stopped herself before she could finish. You knew what she was trying to say and that there was no ill will behind it.

“It’s okay. I know you meant well. Maybe if the situation were different, I’d be more excited. But I don’t want to get too close to them since I’m putting them up for adoption.”

“I’m sorry. I forgot about that. I guess I just got excited for something other than listening to men yelling and fighting.”

“No, I promise it’s okay! Things happen. You meant well, and that’s all that matters to me.”

Leaning against the railing, you look out at the setting sun. The beautiful colors you memorize as you imagine sailing off with the Straw Hats. Happy laughter as you’d hear them tell their stories of their adventures from the two years you’ve been separated. You couldn’t wait to hear Luffy’s infectious laughter or see Robin's calming smile. Only three more days until you make it to Sabaody then-...

…What then?

You’d still be pregnant, on the run, and scared that any second Kidd’s going to show up and whisk you away. Even after you put up the baby for adoption, your body would still look pregnant for a while before going back to normal. Your body would wonder where the baby had gone and when it’d come back. How were you supposed to live life normally after this? Knowing that you have a baby out there that you’ll never get to see grow up. Always worry if they're safe and scared that Kidd might find them and use them as leverage to make you come back.

But at the same time, you couldn’t take them with you. The sea is no place to raise a child, let alone a baby. They could fall overboard, get kidnapped by Marines or rival pirate groups, hell, they could get ill at sea, and you wouldn’t have the medicine to make them better!

Anyway, you looked at it, it felt like nothing was the right choice. The negatives outweighed the positives in your head. It’s possible that everything you’ve experienced has made you an internal pessimist. That, or maybe you were just thinking logically. Either or, it still sucked.

“What are you thinking about?” Tashigi’s voice pulled you from your negative thoughts as she stood beside you.

“Everything and nothing at all. Three days, and then we’ll be enemies. Feels weird knowing that.”

“Yeah. It’s gonna be weird not having you around. I’m gonna be stuck as the only girl once again.” You laugh a bit at her admission.

“If only we’d be able to call one another. But it’s too much of a risk in case any higher-ups were to find out.” Both of you sigh before turning to each other.

“Why do you have to be a pirate?”

“Why do you have to be a Marine?” The two of you laugh as you see the stars start to appear in the night sky.

“The stars are pretty, huh? Maybe we can find constellations if we look hard enough.” You can see Tashigi thinking out of the corner of your eye before her head perks up.

“What if we take pictures? Like a group picture? We’d be able to remember each other even if we can’t talk.”

“You're right! We can do it tomorrow morning! I heard it’s supposed to be sunny and clear!”

“Perfect! We can go around telling the other Marines about it, and they’ll all agree. Vice Admiral Smoker, we might have to convince or drag.”

“I think it’ll be worth the extra chores.”

~~~

As you lay in your bed once more, you look out over the multiple sleeping marines. In a few days' time, you’ll never see them again. If you do, then you’d have to fight them. Once you get back to the Straw Hats, you’ll undoubtedly have a bounty from the government. Then you’ll genuinely be ‘enemies,’ but the thought of hurting any of them made you want to cry. How could you hurt those who took you in, no matter who you were? They risked getting in trouble and put themselves in danger just for you.

Maybe if your forced to fight them, you could just run away? Usopp does it a lot, so why couldn’t you?

You move slightly to get more comfy, only to hear a ‘thud’ come from the side of your bed. Gently moving to the best of your pregnant abilities, you manage to see a particular journal that you haven’t read since the first week you met the G-5.

Heat’s journal.

Biting your lip, you mentally fight to figure out whether you should read it or not. After taking months to try and process Heat’s internal thoughts and the truth about your home, perhaps you were ready to read the rest of it.

Scooting closer to the edge of the bed, you manage to grab the book by the tips of your fingers. You bring it up just enough for your other hand to hold it. A slight pain rummages through your body as you try to bring it up. Thankfully, you manage to pull it up just enough to grab it with your other hand. Snuggling into the bed more, you use the moon as a light source to read the book.

Something happened. I don’t know what it was exactly, but whatever it was, put (Y/N) in the hospital on the island we’re currently docked at. No one but Killer and Kidd himself were allowed to see her. Doctors must have been in and out of that room when (Y/N) first entered.

I can’t see (Y/N) trying to kill herself. Not with the small determination I can still see in her eyes. It had to be something involving Kidd. If Kidd can put a hot metal branding on her, then I don’t think he’d be above doing something to land her in the hospital.

I’ve talked to Wire about his thoughts on what could have happened. He told me that while he saw nothing, he heard multiple thuds and yelling coming from beneath the deck. Immediately upon hearing that, a sour taste filled my mouth. I have to go down and see for myself the room Kidd has been keeping (Y/N) in. There has to be something down there that could tell me something.

Of course, Kidd didn’t want his crew to know he almost killed you. Typical. What did Heat say when he saw you come back from the hospital? When what was the starting time when you forgot your memories. Gently skimming through the pages, you found the entry you were looking for.

I don’t think my eyes have ever widened as much as they did when I saw Kidd and (Y/N) holding hands. There was a bright smile on (Y/N)’s face when she finally came aboard the deck. Her legs are wobbly, and it looks like she’s learning how to walk again. She had bandages covering her head. Behind her and Kid was a doctor along with Killer.

Obviously, somethings not right. (Y/N) or Kidd must have hit her head so hard that a real doctor is needed. While I know it’s a very cliche scenario, I think that she must have hit her head so hard that her memory fogged. And if that’s so, what lies had Kidd told her already? Maybe if I'm able to get the doctor alone, I can get some information.

So Heat saw you the day you returned to the Victoria Punk after the incident? You were shocked that Kidd didn’t bring you back to the ship during the night. But thankfully, he was too stupid, and it allowed Heat to see the first part of the aftermath in real-time.

You don’t remember the first week or two when you got back to the Victoria. Not the doctors or leaving the hospital. It was probably for the best, though. You don’t need any more trauma than you already have.

“What were his thoughts during those five months?” Looking back at the marines to ensure they were sleeping, you flip through the pages again.

Caught (Y/N) staring out to sea earlier before the night entirely took over. It’s been a while since I’ve talked to her, honestly. I felt like I was going insane trying to figure out how or if I should help her now. She looks so happy now, but at the same time, her happiness is based on lies and blood.

Why did this have to happen? What sins did (Y/N) do in a past life that made this her reality? One minute, she was living her life, then the next, she’s stuck in a storage room on a pirate ship. I try not to think how alone she must have felt before this incident. Always being stuck in the dark and only seeing the same people over and over again. Me talking to her can only do so much. It won’t bring back her parents or friends. Nor will it bring back her home.

It still eats me knowing that I’m the reason this woman has no one left. No friends or family. Well, there’s those Straw Hats she’s told me about.

I remember them from Sabaody. Their captain was a strange one, but it did seem like he cared for his crew. If he’s willing to risk his life by storming Impel Down and Navy headquarters just to save his brother, then I think if there is any place or pirate crew for her to be in, it’d be the Straw Hats.

Maybe if I mention Saboady, it’ll spark something and clear the fog that’s invaded her mind.

"If only you knew Heat. It was the thing that made me realize somethings not right.” For a Kidd Pirate, he truly was a fallen angel in disguise. While you’ll never forgive him for what he did to your home, he proved that almost everyone deserves a second chance.

Holy shit. I can hear my heart beating in my ears. I haven’t run as quickly and quietly as I could in forever. Not to mention the underlying threat of getting caught giving (Y/N) a devil fruit.

Finding the damn thing was entirely on accident but a pain in the ass to bring on the ship without anyone noticing. Even stealing the fruit was a feat in itself. I don’t know how that fisherman found it or what he was planning on doing with it, but in the end, it’s going to a better cause.

I managed to have (Y/N) eat it by luring her outside the dining hall earlier. When I watched her eat it all, it made a slight ease wash over me. At least now, she’d have a bit more of a fighting chance against Kidd if he did anything.

I feel bad that I couldn’t tell her everything right then and there, but I was already pushing it by being so close to everyone, especially with Killer being somewhere on deck. I didn’t want to cause a scene and have Kidd freak out or anything. The longer he’s in the dark, the safer it is for (Y/N) and myself.

Honestly, I thought Killer would have knocked some sense into Kidd when he found out about (Y/N). I was obviously very wrong.

“If anything, he was just as insane as Kidd. Fueling his crazed thoughts and obsession. I still remember that dumb conversation I heard between him and Kidd about boarding up the storage room.” It pissed you off more that if it weren’t for Killer’s mask, you probably would have put two and two together quicker. Facial expressions are everything.

I caught (Y/N) staring at the sky again. Thankfully, Killer and Wire were on the opposite side of the ship, so I was finally able to talk to (Y/N) alone. She didn’t know what I made her eat initially, which shocked me. Maybe she hadn’t done anything to trigger it yet.

We both found out pretty quickly what her devil fruit power was, though.

I was trying to tell her that everything she knew about Kidd was a lie. That her life was a lie. I wanted to be more collected and calm about it, but how do you carefully say something like that? It was hard seeing her eyes flash all her emotions, but it soon turned to pain when a harsh shock hit my hands. It felt like a burning hot pole went straight through my hands.

It hurt like a bitch, but the pain subsided when I saw her looking at her hands. When I also looked at them, I saw electricity slither across her hands. I watched her put her hands together and was speechless when a ball of pure electricity formed. She started panicking when the ball was getting too big for her to control and starting to hurt her. I told her to throw it out to sea, and when she did, I felt like I was watching the moon shrink. It was so bright and slightly calming. The farther it went, the more at ease I felt. (Y/N) had a chance. She had a chance to defend herself and run away.

And I’ll be there to make sure she’s safe.

Tears fall profusely down your face, reading the last line. How can the world be so cruel? All he wanted to do was help, and yet he lost his life.

You go to read the next page only to see it’s blank. Feeling your throat dry, you start skimming through the rest of the pages, hoping to see more writing, yet there is nothing. It felt like your heart had been ripped directly from your chest. That was the last thing Heat has ever written, and it just had to be the most heartbreaking thing to read.

Curling up as best you can, considering your belly, you hold Heat’s journal close to your chest. You try your best not to sob as you don’t want to wake up the rest of the Marines sleeping next to you. Between sniffles and the slight shaking as you try to control your breathing, you whisper to yourself in hopes that wherever Heat is, he’ll hear you.

“Thank you.”

~~~

Another island was reduced to ashes after falling victim to Eustass Kidd’s wraith. A once lush and thriving island is now in flames and crumbling as the ruthless pirate searched tirelessly for a certain someone last seen there.

“God fucking damnit! When I get my hands on whatever Marines are holding her, I’m going to kill every single one of them! They’ll wish they never got involved when I break each of their bones!” Kidd’s voice boomed across the town as his amber eyes scanned everywhere.

Where are you?! Why aren’t you here?!

“Kid.” Killer’s voice breaks through the brute's rage, making him turn his head.

“What Killer?!”

“We’ve searched everywhere, and there's no sign of her. It’s not like we can ask anyone either since everyone has evacuated before we arrived.”

Ever since the incident on Halyard Island, as soon as your location was revealed in the paper, people would evacuate their homes to try to save their families and avoid the unstable tornado of destruction that was Eustass Kidd.

Some people stayed because it’d been their home since birth, and they’d rather die than leave it defenseless. There have been rebellions to try to stop Kidd, but they were always snuffed out the moment Kidd saw them. The same could be said for any Marines that were sent to stop him. Getting sent on a mission to any island that you had been spotted at was a death wish. Sometimes, the Marines were too late, and Kidd had already destroyed the island. But when Kidd would see them, he wouldn’t let any Marines leave until he talked to each and every single one of them. And since none of them had you, none of them would leave the island alive.

Your name had become a jinx to any Marine that spoke it. Speaking your name would always have the Marine that spoke it sent out on the next mission to stop Kid from destroying yet another island just to find you. And since none of them had you, they’d never come back alive to say what they’ve experienced.

After being the ‘cause’ of death for so many Marines, some rookies have given you the nickname ‘Devil’s Darling.’ It was a joke at first, but as the death toll rose and how Kidd’s name got more infamous, more and more people adopted it. And with a nickname like that, more people have come to hate you.

While you haven’t done anything, the fact is that if it weren’t for you escaping, no one would have gotten hurt. If only you had bit the bullet, no one would have lost their lives. Many victims of Kidd’s rage blame you for it. Anger and fear take over the hearts of many, and to the civilians of the New World, you’ve become as feared and hated as the man hunting you down.

The government had become more conflicted on where to stand with you. While you were technically innocent, the people have been nagging them to put an official bounty on your head. If they did, you’d only be wanted alive. The power they could hold if they managed to capture you. You could be the key to finally catching and imprisoning Eustass Kidd.

And Kidd knew all of this.

He knew the hatred the people had started to hold for you. How they’d give you to him if they managed to recognize and grab you before you left the island. In a way, he had the whole New World in his hand. Their hatred and fear was and will be the town’s own undoing.

The only people stopping him were fucking journalists who don’t say or do a thing when they see you. They are so desperate for a story and to lead him on that they don’t care about how they’ve helped in the destruction.

“Of course, she isn’t here. Fucking hate those journalists and Marines.” Kidd kicked a smoldering piece of wood in anger. Ashes fly to the sky as it did nothing to soothe his rage.

They don’t understand that he needs you. He dreams of you every night. Dreams of you laying next to him and kissing his face. Some where you were holding his child, soothing them to sleep. Humming a small tune before noticing him and smiling. You’d say something to him, but he could never remember what it was when he woke up.

And while there were dreams, nightmares followed suit. Nightmares of you falling into the ocean and sinking to the bottom with your hand outstretched for Kidd to grab and save you. Or the times when you’d be running from Marines to him only for you to get shot as soon as he had you in your arms. The nightmares plagued him much more than he dreamt of you. He’s always had nightmares when you weren’t lying next to him. Ever since the first night you’ve slept with him in his bed, he’s never been able to sleep alone without waking up sometimes during the night. The warmth your body gave him while you slept, go thim addicted.

Those first few months you left and joined those damn Straw Hats, the same nightmare happened every night. It replayed the scene of you sailing away from him over and over again. No matter what, those months without you behind closed doors were pure hell for Kidd. You were just gone from his life after being by his side for a year and a half. He’d never get to kiss you or hold you close again.

But just as Killer tried to get Kidd over you, he saw you.

He was fighting a pacifista next to that dweeb Trafalgar Law when he turned his head, and there you were. You were running as fast as you could, and there he saw you. What you were running from, he didn’t know, but what he did know was that you were alone. No Straw Hats or Marines to take you away now. You were his for the taking once more, and this time, he’d make sure you knew it-

“Earth to Kidd!” Blinking a few times, Kidd’s pulled from his memories by Killer snapping his fingers in his face.

“I was thinking! What is it?”

“Haven’t you noticed a pattern? How each island she’s at, she gets closer and closer to the Navy Headquarters?” A pit filled Kidd’s stomach hearing Killer’s words.

“What are you saying, Killer? Spill it!”

“What if their taking her to the safety of Navy Headquarters? Or worse, Impel Down?” Kidd grits his teeth at the thought. No way in hell was he gonna let those fuckers take you.

“Any Marine ship we see, attack. Don’t care if they're not in our course. No Marine ship will get past the Victoria. Search every part of the Marine ship, and if she isn’t there, sink the ship to the bottom of the sea.”

“And the Marines on it?”

“Kill them all.”

~~~

“You wanted to see me, Vice Admiral? If it’s about the pictures we did yesterday, I have some here if you want to choose one.-”

“Sit. We need to talk.” Your heart stopped for a second, but you managed to snap back and sit on the chair in front of his desk. The way he sat in his chair behind the desk made you bite the inside of your cheek. When Tashigi told you that he wanted to see you, you were nervous. She said that while she didn’t know why he wanted to, you had no need to be scared.

Obviously, she was wrong.

“O-Oh? What about?” You can feel your palms sweat as the room seems to heat up.

“The government has finally put up a bounty for you.” Hearing those words come from Smoker's mouth made time stop as thousands of scenarios played through your head. Would he turn you in?

“But I haven’t done anything! Why do I have a bounty?!”

“You haven’t done anything. But Kidd has.”

“What does that have to do with me?”

“He’s been destroying islands, villages, and Marine ships nonstop. Anything in his path has become a victim of his rage. According to headquarters, we’ve lost a lot of good men to him. Rookies, Vice Admirals, and Admirals even have been killed. His bounty has tripled in the last six months. Wouldn’t shock me if it raises the next time the new bounty posters come up.” You were speechless. How many people have been hurt or killed because of you? So many deaths for simply living. This has to be a nightmare.

“I don’t understand. Why do I have a bounty for things he’s done? I’m not out here hurting people!” Smoker sighed before running a hand through his hair.

“They want to use you to lure Kidd so they can capture him. That and many people of the New World are treating you as much of a threat as kid himself is.”

“I’ve never hurt anyone! I hate Kidd as much as they do, so why do they hate me?...”

“Fear. Kidd’s insanity has caused fear to cover the entire New World. Seeing your name and last known location in the paper is a death wish for the island you were last seen at. I don’t know how these damn journalists keep spotting you no matter what disguise we put you in.”

“It’s like they’re actively looking for me. Why are they so determined to find me? People have been hurt, yet they don’t care!” Guilt starts to eat at you as the thought of countless people getting hurt because of your problems eats at your heart.

“First Heat…now this? Why is this happening to me? What have I done to deserve this?” You whisper to yourself as you lay your hands on your thighs before gripping your pants tightly. Tears start to whelm in your eyes as you bite your lip. The images of people's faces you’ve never seen before start to pop up in your mind as if to make you suffer more. The survivor's guilt already consumed you after Heat’s death, but now, with having so much more ‘blood’ on your hands, the pain was unbearable.

“Heat? Where have I heard that name before?”

“He was a crewmate on Kidd’s ship. He’s…no longer with us.”

“A Marine kill him? I don’t think I’ve heard of any Kidd Pirates getting sent to Impel Down.”

“No. Kidd did.” Even though you spoke between sobs, SMoker still managed to catch your words. He was stunned to hear such a thing. Killing his own crew? If he can do that without remorse, what else is he willing to do?

“He helped me escape the first time I was stuck with Kidd. He undid the chain that was connected to a collar Kidd had me wear and told me to run. When he saw that I had gotten captured again, he tried to help me again, but…”

“But?”

You ran as fast as you could around teh deck to try and find Heat and Kidd. In the dark, the whole boat felt like a maze. Each passing second was an eternity. How can you find them in time?

“Your fucking stupid to think I wouldn’t notice how you're trying to play hero! At first, I gave you the benefit of the doubt when you let her go the first time. But now, when everything’s good, you're trying to ruin it!” Kidd’s voice rang in your left ear, making you stop in your tracks.

“What are you talking about Kidd? Are you drunk or something?”

“Don’t play dumb! You know damn well what I’m talking about! Your telling (Y/N) shit she doesn’t need to remember! Telling her things that’ll ruin what I’ve worked so hard for! She’s happy, and you want her to be sad?!”

“That’s not happiness, Kidd! Her ‘happiness’ is based on lies! I know I’m not the greatest person. I have skeletons in my closet, but what you're doing is insane!” Hearing Heat bite back makes you dash towards the two voices.

Just then, a few loud thumps accompanied by a cough echoed across the deck. A bang was soon heard right after, and it only made you run faster. When you finally made it to the source, your horrified to see Kidd with his back facing you and a bloody, jagged knife in his hand. In front of him, you see Heat on the deck with his back leaning against the railing. Red starts to seep through his clothes, as you can hear his breathing become erratic. You watched him cough harshly and see droplets of blood shooting out from his mouth.

“I don’t remember asking for your input, Heat. I won’t let you ruin this for me. If only you had minded your business, then none of this would have to happen.” Heat gives Kidd a strong glare before laughing at him. His teeth covered in blood as he smiled at Kidd.

“She’ll find out. It may not be by me, but your house of cards is crumbling, Kidd. She’s gonna find out whether you like it or not.” You can hear Kidd crack his neck at Heat’s words.

“Not to mention, she and the rest of the crew are gonna wonder what’s happened to me. How are you gonna explain that?”

“I can just say you fell overboard. Since your a devil fruit user, you’ll sink to the bottom. The crew will believe it, and so will (Y/N).”

“Doubt it. She’s not stupid, Kidd. She’s gonna remember everything that’s happened. Her home, friends, family, and everything you’ve done to her, she’s gonna remember. And when she does, I’ll be laughing in hell.” You watch Kidd charge at Heat with the knife clutched tightly in his hand.

“No!” Running from your hiding spot, you jump in front of Heat. Despite the fear that coursed through you, you spread your arms out to a T so you can protect him from your knife-wielding lover. Your arrival brought silence among the three of you.

“(Y/N)...” Glancing back to Heat, you see the shock in his eyes. Your heart bleeds as Heats breath becomes more ragged with each second that passes.

“(Y/N)! What are you doing?! You need to get away from him! He’s working for the Marines! He’s a traitor!” Biting your lip between your teeth, you try not to cry as your lover lies directly in your face so casually.

A strong, familiar tingling feeling circulated through your arms and legs as you stood in front of Heat. Buzzing rings in your ears as the feeling grows stronger as you anticipate Kidd’s next move.

“Move (Y/N). I’m trying to protect you! He’s going to hurt you, it’s not safe next to him.” Looking into Kidd’s eyes, you stand yoru ground and still stand in his path. You can feel your heart race as he reaches out to you. The feeling of his fingertips from his real arm just barely touching your wrist before a loud ZAP could be heard echoing across the Victoria Punk.

“Son of a bitch!” Kid recoils his hand back and tries brushing it against his red feathered coat. The buzzing of the zap still ringing in your ears as you quickly turn your attention to Heat. You're quick to start inspecting him for more wounds but can only see one. A stab wound dangerously close to the heart but at a perfect position for it to be in the lungs. While Kidd missed the heart, he managed to puncture a lung which could be just as fatal. It also explains the coughing up of blood.

“Heat! Hang on! Everything will be okay! Just give me a second!-”

“Where did you get devil fruit powers?...” You stutter as you try to figure out a lie to say. Yet, you watch Heat give Kidd a bloody smirk. From that, it didn’t take long for Kidd to put two and two together.

“You gave her devil fruit powers?! I’m going to fucking kill you, you bastard!” Your heart almost stops completely as you see Kidd stomping towards the two of you. The way his face looked so sinister made it feel like you were living another nightmare.

Quick to jump to your feet again, you place yourself between Heat and Kidd. The buzzing continued, and you watched as electricity slithers around your arms and legs, helping you give off a threatening aura.

“Don’t you dare hurt him, Kidd!” Despite the electricity covering you, Kidd still reaches out. Just as you watch him reach for your arm, he changes direction and grabs your hair. With a harsh tug, Kidd throws you behind him. Your body hits against the hard wooden deck with a ‘thunk.’

You can feel the air being knocked out of your lungs as tears prickle your eyes. As you struggle to get over the pounding in your head and the ache in your body, you hear Heat cough harshly again. When you open your eyes to look at the two men, your eyes widen in horror as you watch Kidd hold Heat up by the throat. Lifting him to his feet, you see Heat struggle to get Kidd’s metal hand off his throat.

“Enjoy the bottom of the sea Heat! Say hi to the sea kings that’ll feast on your corpse, will ya?” Jumping to your feet despite still being dizzy, you dash towards Kidd and Heat. But just as you took three steps in, you watched as Kidd threw Heat against the railing, making him tumble over it and fall off the boat.

Running to the railing and praying that he’s simply hanging on, your hopes were crushed as soon as you heard the heartbreaking sound of water splashing. Leaning over the edge to see if you could throw him a rope, you only had time to see bubbles rising to the water's surface before Kidd grabbed you by the hair and began to drag you away.

“Kidd found out about it. My devil fruit powers wouldn’t be a thing if it weren’t for Heat. If it wasn’t for him, who knows how long I would have been stuck with Kidd and his web of lies.”

“How long has it been since his death?” While he could see that this was obviously a sensitive topic for you, perhaps if you spoke about it, it might loosen whatever burden his death has caused.

“A week had passed after his death when you guys found me. So, as long as I’ve been here plus a week.” Letting out a hum, Smoker continued to listen.

“It’s all my fault…If only I had been more careful then maybe he’d still be here. He’d still be alive instead of at the bottom of the sea.”

“I watched Kidd kill him. I saw Kidd kill the only friend I had and there was nothing I could do about it!”

‘That explains a lot. There’s a lot more layers of trauma she hasn’t told me or Tashigi about. If there's something that traumatic she’s keeping to herself, what else could be going on inside that she’s not talking about?’

“There are times when I feel like he’s haunting me. I see him sometimes in my nightmares. Or times when I’m leaning against the railing and go to look down at the sea only to see Heat standing beside me. But when I go to check if he’s really there, it’s always an empty space. I’ve caught glimpses of him staring at me through the crowd. People walk back and forth and I see him staring at me. But then somebody walks in front of him, and then he’s gone!” Smoker watches as your body shakes and tears begin pouring down your face. You grip your uniform pants even harder as you try to stabilize yourself as you begin to hyperventilate.

“Every time I see him, I don’t see the Heat I know. I see him as a corpse. No matter what he’s always just staring at me with lifeless eyes. It always looks like he’s…”

“At the bottom of the sea?”

“Yeah. Down there.” A minute os silence passes before SMoker speaks.

“You shouldn’t feel guilty for his death. From how much you’ve told me, it sounds like he knew the risks that came with trying to set you free. That he’d be putting his own life in danger to help yours. Do you think he’d want you to feel guilty for a sacrifice he was willing to make?”

“No.”

“Then don’t blame yourself for something that someone did of their own free will.”

“Yes, Vice Admiral.” While Smoker knew a single sentence wouldn’t fix all the trauma Heat’s death had obviously caused, he supposed it was better to get it off your chest. With Heat’s death, along with the people Kidd’s hurt in your name lingering in your mind, he can’t imagine the toll it’s taken on you.

~~~

Today’s the day. According to Tashigi, you guys should be at Sabaody before 3 pm. After months of training and pregnancy, along with your time with Kidd, you’ll finally be able to return to the Straw Hats.

It feels unreal. Almost as if it’s a dream. Yet, the dangers of Sabaody didn’t slip your mind. Bounty hunters, potential civilians willing to hunt you down, and the navy waiting to use you as bait. All odds were against you.

You did know the sunny was docked at tree 41, so maybe you could have G-5 bring you close but not too close to the sunny? The closer you are to it, the safer it’ll be for you. Well, you and the baby.

Not a second goes by where it’s not on your mind. Any time you move, you have to be cautious you don’t hit your tummy on anything. Eating foods became a test as foods you used to love, you now despise. Now, you're studying foods that are healthy for the baby and what’s not. Anything an over-paranoid pregnant woman does, you did. Even though you're gonna give up the baby for adoption when the time comes, you are gonna make sure the baby is healthy.

There was a nagging feeling that ate at you whenever you were alone. Sometimes, you could feel the baby kick whenever you tapped your belly purposefully or on accident. It was as if they were responding to you. If they could feel the vibrations from a simple tap, could they also hear you talk about not wanting them? Even if six months old, what if? You knew it was impossible for them to understand you, but the nagging feeling never went away.

Maybe when you reunite with the Straw Hats, that nagging feeling will fade away.

~~~

Another art thing. not really proud of it but it is what it is

#one piece x reader #eustass kid x reader #eustass captain kid x reader

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tarotwitchy · 1 year

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Root Chakra Pick-a-Card

For this PAC, I want to start my longtime project of launching a general reading that has the themes of Chakra development. And since we're talking about the Root Chakra, also called Muladhara, this reading will be talking about your confidence, security, stability, earth energy, and strength.

Choose the picture that calls to you the most.

Pile 1 ➡️ 2

Pile 3 ➡️ 4

Pile 1

Ace of Swords • 10 of Pentacles • King of Swords • 4 of Swords

This pile is very straightforward with its message. In order for you to feel secure and safe in your life, you would need to fight for what you believe in, no matter how many people seem to be against it. Yes, there is a difference between fighting for your beliefs and being outright stubborn. But this pile isn't talking about stubbornness. It's giving the impression that a lot of people seem to knock down your ideas from the get-go. People have the tendency to nip your ideas in the bud, and this tends to affect you tremendously. You can only take so much rejection and disapproval from the people you thought had your back.

But in spite of that, you are called by the Universe — especially by your Highest Self — that you should always be at your corner even when no one else seems to be there any longer. As long as you know you're not hurting anyone and you're not committing something that will put you in harm's way, you have all the right reasons to believe in yourself and in your own voice. Part of developing our Root Chakra is creativity. So, be as creative in spearheading and executing your ideas to fruition as you can. You have the Ace of Swords with the King of Swords in this reading. Wield the sword of wisdom that you've always had inside you, and everything else will follow.

•—•—•—•—•—•—•

Pile 2

7 of Pentacles • 3 of Pentacles • The Morning • 2 of Cups

For those of you who chose this pile, you may have been doing things in your life all by yourself most of the time. It could be your upbringing that conditioned you to think that you can only rely on yourself. But Pile 2, there is absolutely nothing wrong with collaborating with people! I can see a lot of people around you who have genuine intentions of helping you achieve that security you yearn for. Allowing people to help you whenever they can won't make you a weak person. On the contrary, it makes you a self-assured kind of person because it illustrates that your ego isn't so easily damaged by people lending their hand to you.

In addition, this reading is telling you that it's okay to let your guard down. Being able to connect with people is your key to success in securing your safety and stability. I know a lot of you are the type to want to strive all by yourselves. But the old adage proves wisely: "two pairs of hands are better than one." Moreover, the 2 of Cups is signifying that you may also find safety with a romantic partner. There is a high chance that being in a relationship will actually prove to be helpful for you, and that your partner will be the one to aid you through finding security in this life. It could mean that they're very protective of you, being the one to help you with financial matters, or even just being your rock and pillar when you need them to be.

•—•—•—•—•—•—•

Pile 3

9 of Cups • The Night • 3 of Cups • The Tower

With this pile, I can see that generosity is what will bring you safety, stability, and security in this lifetime. By not being so tight-fisted about your resources, you can invite a positive energy into your life; thus, encouraging a string of good fortune and good karma. As long as you're choosing the right people to give assistance and resources to, you're bound to receive some sort of reward for your generous efforts in uplifting other people who need a helping hand from you. In addition, you would have gained alliances and connections with people in their most vulnerable state. I believe that people will remember the good deeds you have done to them, and it will come to your advantage in time.

Speaking of that, when you've given help towards the right kind of people, they will never forget it. I believe that people will remember the good deeds you have done to them, and it will come to your advantage in time. In return, you can rest assured that when the moment comes that you are the one in need of help and assistance, you will have a plethora of people to ask from, and you shall become a part of the cycle of a positive give-and-take. With that, you'll actually be more secure that you think because you have people to back you up instead of bearing your burden alone.

•—•—•—•—•—•—•

Pile 4

The Hermit • 4 of Pentacles • Judgment • The Tower

Wow, out of all the piles, this one is the most blatant in its message, and the opposite of Pile 3. If you've chosen this pile, you need to be wise and frugal with your resources. You cannot be loose with your money, time, efforts, and energy if you want to be safe and secure in this lifetime. I can see how many people prowl around you, ready to take advantage of your kindness and good-hearted nature. You need to wisen up, Pile 4! Not everyone has good intentions for you, and there are people waiting to see you fall and fail so they can pick up the pieces for themselves instead of helping you.

To aid you in this matter, you need to choose your circles very prudently. You cannot afford to be in bad company as it is a waste of time, energy, and they might just take what they can from you in the name of "friendship." Do not be flashy with your wealth or earnings because people can smell that like blood in a pool full of sharks. Avoid distributing your resources to people unless you know they will absolutely pay you back. Just keep on hustling quietly, keep your head down, and make sure that you're mingling with the right crowds.

If you liked this reading, consider purchasing a personalized tarot reading from me! ✨

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[Do not repost, copy, or reword]

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goldensunset · 5 months

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mutual 1: [this post contains filtered tags]

mutual 2 (who has been gone for 24 hours): sorry about the hiatus guys i'm finally back!!!!

mutual 3: ugh i need him so bad <3 i love him more than his creator does <33333333333333

mutual 4: y'all really love to hide behind 'it's just media!' as if it doesn't have immediate and obvious effects on the people who consume it. sorry you think your obsession with bluey is more important than oh idk the lives of real people????

mutual 5: guys i just wanna say i'm so grateful for the rest of the bluey fandom. it got me through the worst years of my life and taught me a lot and i'm so glad we can all celebrate and talk about it together :)

mutual 6: [this post contains filtered content {url of detested mutual-in-law}]

mutual 7: good morning everyone! i am handing you all a small flower (*≧ω≦*)

mutual 8: i am in severe financial crisis

mutual 9: BLORBO/BLIMBUS NATION LET'S GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO THEY LOOKED AT EACH OTHER

mutual 10: [completely untagged and unfilterable spoilers for something that just came out]

mutual 11: [this post contains four different filtered tags]

mutual 12 (does not actually follow you back but like. in your heart in your dreams): anyone have any drawing requests? :-D

mutual 13: i'm going to personally throttle my pharmacist why do i have to jump through hoops to stay alive

mutual 14: [the same post reblogged 10+ times in a row]

mutual 15: is tumblr mobile doing this weird glitch for anyone else?

mutual 16: that's why squibbus makes me cry- authorus squibbithon just writes his story so beautifully and delicately and dives deep into the troubled beauty of his soul and the way he strives to overcome his trauma every day...

mutual 17: i used to jump in the river and let the current take me

#i wanna hop on this bandwagon these look fun #peach rambles #i had an experience with bluey today #(was in a room for 3 hours trying to work out some frustrating computer issues)#(someone comes into the room and starts playing bluey on youtube on the tv. loudly)#(i don't know why they were watching it. but it was the last straw for my headache lol)

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officialyourdailyinspiration · 18 days

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Trust in the Lord with All Your Heart

1 My son, do not forget my law, But let your heart keep my commands; 2 For length of days and long life And peace they will add to you. 3 Let not mercy and truth forsake you; Bind them around your neck, Write them on the tablet of your heart, 4 And so find favor and high esteem In the sight of God and man. 5 Trust in the Lord with all your heart, And lean not on your own understanding; 6 In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He shall direct your paths. 7 Do not be wise in your own eyes; Fear the Lord and depart from evil. 8 It will be health to your flesh, And strength to your bones. 9 Honor the Lord with your possessions, And with the firstfruits of all your increase; 10 So your barns will be filled with plenty, And your vats will overflow with new wine. 11 My son, do not despise the chastening of the Lord, Nor detest His correction; 12 For whom the Lord loves He corrects, Just as a father the son in whom he delights.

Blessed Is the One Who Finds Wisdom

13 Happy is the man who finds wisdom, And the man who gains understanding; 14 For her proceeds are better than the profits of silver, And her gain than fine gold. 15 She is more precious than rubies, And all the things you may desire cannot compare with her. 16 Length of days is in her right hand, In her left hand riches and honor. 17 Her ways are ways of pleasantness, And all her paths are peace. 18 She is a tree of life to those who take hold of her, And happy are all who retain her. 19 The Lord by wisdom founded the earth; By understanding He established the heavens; 20 By His knowledge the depths were broken up, And clouds drop down the dew. 21 My son, let them not depart from your eyes-- Keep sound wisdom and discretion; 22 So they will be life to your soul And grace to your neck. 23 Then you will walk safely in your way, And your foot will not stumble. 24 When you lie down, you will not be afraid; Yes, you will lie down and your sleep will be sweet. 25 Do not be afraid of sudden terror, Nor of trouble from the wicked when it comes; 26 For the Lord will be your confidence, And will keep your foot from being caught. 27 Do not withhold good from those to whom it is due, When it is in the power of your hand to do so. 28 Do not say to your neighbor, "Go, and come back, And tomorrow I will give it," When you have it with you. 29 Do not devise evil against your neighbor, For he dwells by you for safety's sake. 30 Do not strive with a man without cause, If he has done you no harm. 31 Do not envy the oppressor, And choose none of his ways; 32 For the perverse person is an abomination to the Lord, But His secret counsel is with the upright. 33 The curse of the Lord is on the house of the wicked, But He blesses the home of the just. 34 Surely He scorns the scornful, But gives grace to the humble. 35 The wise shall inherit glory, But shame shall be the legacy of fools. — Proverbs 3 | New King James Version (NKJV) The Holy Bible; New King James Version®. Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson. All rights reserved. Cross References: Genesis 7:11; Exodus 20:6; Exodus 22:29; Leviticus 19:13; Leviticus 26:14; Numbers 9:20; Deuteronomy 11:21; Job 4:6; Job 11:19; Job 21:24; Job 28:15; Psalm 37:1; Proverbs 1:9; Proverbs 2:4; Proverbs 6:14; Proverbs 8:10-11; Proverbs 8:27-28; Proverbs 9:11; Isaiah 5:27; Daniel 12:3; Joel 2:24; Micah 2:1; Matthew 11:29; Luke 2:52; John 7:17; Romans 12:16; Romans 12:18; 2 Corinthians 3:3; Philippians 4:6; Hebrews 2:1; Hebrews 12:5-6; 1 Peter 3:14; 1 Peter 5:5; Revelation 2:7; Revelation 3:19

#Lord #trust #heart #wisdom #Proverbs 3 #Book of Proverbs #Old Testament #NKJV #New King James Version Bible #Thomas Nelson

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vergess · 5 months

Note

Is “from the river to the sea” inherently an antisemetic dog whistle or can it be used in good faith in a similar vein to Free Palestine?

I’ve been hearing conflicting viewpoints

obviously if you feel uncomfortable you don’t have to answer

It's... complicated.

Personally, I don't believe most people saying "from the river to the sea" are actually calling for the immediate dismantling and re-refugeeing of Israel's entire population.

Nevertheless in absolute terms, that is EXACTLY what the slogan is demanding. See, a lot of people don't actually look at a map:

The area highlighted in red is, approximately, what "the river to the sea" refers to in its most conservative terms. Note how almost every single population center is within that range.

In practical terms, it's straight up a demand that Israel stop existing and Palestine be returned to local control.

And normally, being a fucking sensible person, you'd think, "Well, land back! Give it back!!"

Only you're assuming Israelis are colonizers.

Which IS. NOT. TRUE. Just because Israel is operating as a US colonial project doesn't make Israelis colonizers themselves.

Israelis are better thought of as refugees. People who were successfully genocided out of EVERY SURROUNDING NATION:

This map shows the expulsion or genocide of Jews from the area surrounding Israel over the last century.

Black-coloured countries have eliminated over 80% and up to 100% of their Jewish populations. That is to say, countries in black successfully committed genocide against their Jewish populations in the last century.

With any surviving refugees sent where?

To Israel.

Red represents greater than 60% population loss. In a century.

Blue represents 40+%, and yellow 20+%.

Remember: population loss over 10% is considered a strong indication of genocide, and 30% population loss is proof.

And remember that these number include the entire span of time between the holocaust and now.

IF it were possible to genuinely negotiate in good faith a peace treaty that allows Jewish refugees to Israel to stay in the Jewish Homeland that they've only barely even been sent to.

Then maybe "from the river to the sea" would not be a threat to finish off the last survivors of genocide.

But between US interventionism in the region, existing racial tensions, and the last century of genocide?

Good faith negotiations simply are not possible right now, and they won't be possible until the US and European powers make it possible by dialing back the imperialism and instead using their massive global power to support genuine negotiations of peace, that actually strive to develop a healthy, equitable society for both Jewish refugees returning to their historic homeland AND the people already living there.

Which, let's be realistic here. The EU is so busy crowing about how it's less racist than the US that they deny having even participated in these forced expulsions, claiming it was all "voluntary." And the US is literally still enslaving BIPOC in prisons.

So! That's just not going to happen!!

Which means we have to look at the phrase "from the river to the sea" not in the context of peace where it would be harmless, but in the context of, unfortunately, more wars over the last century than you could even give names to.

Where it calls for the expulsion of Jewish refugees from their homeland.

To where?

Well, most likely to death. After all, it's not like we're raring to take in ~7 million surviving Israeli Jews here in the US.

And that's the quiet part, I think. The part that people don't realize is being implied.

If Israel is gone, as the chant demands, then where do the 7 million Jewish Israelis go?

"Back home"? To the nations that killed off their entire families?

Because this isn't like land back movements in North America, where it is widely accepted that there would be no expulsions or relocations because they're inhumane.

The expulsions and forced relocations are already underway and currently ongoing.

That's the distinction that I think a lot of gentiles in the west don't grasp.

This slogan isn't "turn Israel over to Palestinian governance to achieve freedom" it's "turn Israel over to Palestinian control to complete the last century of genocides."

Like. Okay. In my ideal world, Israel as a state would never have been founded because the UK wouldn't have Done That To Palestine. But we live in this world, with this history.

To clamour for the dissolution of the Israeli state is to clamour for the slaughter and expulsion of 7 millions Jews. Bro that's half the global population.

Now, do I think "from the river to the sea" is an evil phrase and everyone who says it is genocidal?

No.

I think it's a poetic chant that works well in English and gets a decent message across to most listeners that they should support Palestinian humanity in the face of that genocide.

But I think that if I catch your ass shouting it after a ceasefire or during peace negotiations instead of during actual war crimes?

I won't be likely to trust you. Either you're well intended but uninformed, or worse, you know damned well what you're doing and its vile.

So, I don't know. I guess I would say it's not inherently antisemitic now, at this moment in time.

But give it a few months, and it will be, just like it has been before.

#Asks #Answered asks #opabinia-777 #IP main #From the River to the Sea #Palestine will be Free

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cinnamontails-ff · 17 days

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The incredible @kittenintheden tagged me for this, so I'll give it my best shot!

1) How many works do you have on AO3?

Four.

2) What’s your total AO3 word count?

224,051 - which, honestly, is insane because that means I've written (and edited) pretty much two entire novels over the course of last 12 months. The vampire elf is too powerful, guys.

3) What fandoms do you write for?

BG3

4) What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

I'm a fandom newbie, so I don't even have 5, but here are my babies:

Accountant's Guide - Pre-Canon Astarion teams up with a human accountant to frame Cazador for tax fraud. It's exactly as whacky as it sounds.

Magistrate's Advocate - The Magistrate Astarion longfic someone had to write.

Vampire Stay-at-Home Trophy Husband - Reverse Isekai EA oneshot

An Empirical Science - My contribution to the Holy Rolan Empire

5) Do you respond to comments?

Always. Obsessively so. Love responding to comments and chatting with readers.

6) What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

My fics have a good bit of angst and tension and heartbreak, but I always strive for an overall "warm" feeling in my writing, so those moments tend to get resolved at some point. No angsty endings in my portfolio (yet).

7) What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Accountant's Guide is where I gave Astarion everything I wish he could have. Zero regrets.

8) Do you get hate on fics?

Occasionally, but it's pretty rare. Not to make excuses for people hating on fics (because that is despicable; we're working for free here), but I don't think my fics are controversial enough to attract a lot of hate. They're cute. They're wholesome. They don't take themselves too seriously, so I think it's pretty difficult to hate on them.

Although someone once called Scarlett a b**** and sometimes I remember that and I become wrath.

9) Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Explicit smut is something I've really only started doing when I got into fanfiction this past year. I like incorporating it into my longfics to emphasize key moments for my characters and their development, so it's part porn, part plot.

It can get kinky, but it will always be consensual. Dubcon/noncon is a big no for me, personally.

10) Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

No crossovers, but An Empirical Science is where I have a lot of fun butchering adapting Pride & Prejudice lines. I mean, it's a Rolan fic. How could you not?

11) Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know, but I have seen coincidences of very similar concepts and ideas popping up after I've introduced them in my fics.

12) Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes, there's an ongoing Ukrainian translation for Accountant's Guide! I translate the comments every now and then and readers are really praising the language skills of the translator, so that's awesome!

13) Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No, but we chat a lot about my stories on my Discord server, so that's often a little like writing together.

14) What’s your all time favorite ship?

Shalladin (Kaladin x Shallan from Stormlight Archive). I love Brandon Sanderson with all my heart, but for this, I will never forgive him.

15) What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

I get very hyperfocused on my stories and rarely work on more than 1 project at a time, so I tend to finish what I start.

16) What are your writing strengths?

Look, my social anxiety makes me a pretty rizzless person to talk to in real life, but my writing is funny. It's charming. I am great at character voice. I keep things real. My OCs don't need to be perfect flawless beauty goddesses to woo the guy; they recite a few paragraphs and swing their fountain pen and the guy is on. the. floor.

Sometimes literally.

17) What are your writing weaknesses?

According to a rather charming public bookmark on my fic, I struggle with "pacing issues" and "questionable narrative choices". Clearly, this person knows what they're talking about, so let's accept it as fact.

18) Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I think this is generally really difficult to pull off without being confusing (check out "The Wee Free Men" by Sir Terry Pratchett for a really good example how to do it). So unless I had a very specific reason for it, I would prefer to write around it as I've done with Infernal in An Empirical Science.

19) First fandom you wrote for?

Still BG3. First and last? Who knows.

20) Favorite fic you’ve written?

Accountant's Guide. It's the story I wrote when I hit rock bottom and thought I couldn't write anymore. It's the story that made me believe again. My first story in English and by far the easiest thing I've ever written. It's the story I reread when I'm sad, when I'm happy, when I want a hug that reaches all the way into my soul. I am never happier than when people tell me this is a comfort read for them, just as it is for me.

I'm tagging @thedreamlessnights, @purdledooturt, @larvasmoon, @karinamay and @davenswitcher if they feel like sharing their answers!

#tag game #astarion fanfic #rolan fanfic #holy rolan empire #bg3 #cinnamontails

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elixrr · 7 months

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langue de chat cookie x reader…….. (payment for me giving you $5 😡 /joking manner)

two ideas :

reader visiting langue’s parents, and reader is trying to look nice but then langue’s parents ends up being casual and doesn’t mind

langue relaxing with reader after a long day at the firm

(NOTE FOR FOLLOWERS OR NEWCOMERS FROM TAGS THAT ELIXRR DOES NOT NORMALLY DO COOKIE RUN CONTENT…. THEYVE NEVER PLAYED THE GAMES….)

Personal IRL request : @plutoniclol

(ty for the $5 btw lmao it got me a good popsicle)

Langue de Chat Cookie x Reader

The moonlight resided with you and your dearest tonight, a rare sight after a while of the constant sugary rains from above. The luminescent lights crept through the windows of your shared home, shining a bright light through the darkness of tonight.

In spite of the tranquil atmosphere, you were anxious— antsy about something.

Langue de Chat Cookie had yet to arrive home at his usual time. Usually, he'd come back around 7 PM, just half an hour after you'd come home, but he arrived 3 hours later, 10 PM.

“Argh, I'm so sorry, darling! Things were much busier than usual at the firm, and all the more stressful.. Of course— nothing I can't handle, but still!”

He explained to you how he had to find evidence to prove his latest client's innocence, though every piece of information given had led straight to nothing or created loopholes in every claim and detail there was. Langue described it to be the most challenging case he's ever had... not that he's had many clients in the past, though.

“Not to mention the paperwork! Please forgive me, my dear, I won't ever be late to dinner again!”

After a long back and forth tangent about how worried you were and how busy he was, you'd both calm down and soothe yourselves on the couch, the television turned on, watching trials of the past and of recent times, commenting on everything said and done in each trial—

“Oh, but isn't that against the law? Why're they letting it slide?” Langue furrows his eyes beside you, speaking in between chews.

“It is! I mean, I hear you resite every law known to cookie in your sleep, and I've totally heard you mumble that one, too.” You laugh, watching him with a smug face as he nearly chokes on his cat tongue biscuit.

“Huh— what? I do that?!”

After a good two or three trials, you figure that the tea is ready in the kitchen and you get up from the couch to get it.

Or.

You were supposed to.

“L– Langue?” You stutter, turning around quickly to see your fiancee simply following you like a puppy from the couch and to the kitchen, standing behind you with an ever-so slight and subtle pout.

“..Just waiting for the tea, of course.”

You slowly turn your head from Langue de Chat and towards the kettle, confusingly nodding to yourself before pouring the steamy water into the teacup. You and Langue watch as the water discolors and turns dark with the teabag.

After that, you're both back on that cozy couch of yours in the living room, the fireplace to your left on the wall, the television set in front of you in the other side of the room. You smile, feeling the warm steam of the tea whirling in your face. You take a sip and glance at Langue de Chat, who's as focused as ever with watching the trials. You see his squint, his furrowed and focused brows, how he sips the tea for no more than a second to not miss a single detail in the trial.

You're proud, to say the least. Langue's always strived to be a great and famous lawyer, and you can't help but be amazed with how much he's been doing for the sake of his career.

Your smile grows, but you've been staring enough that Langue's attention flickers from the TV and to you, and his face flusters a little under your gaze.

“Oh, love. Did you need something?”

Langue repositions his glasses, adjusting the frame on his face to be sure they fit right on his face, also guaranteeing that he'll look even better for you.

“Langue.”

You say. The wavering syllable of his name is enough to silence the trial, transforming the voices of the judge and the lawyers into nothing but white noise.

The room goes silent for you two, but—

“I love you.”

You still speak, and the words themselves break Langue's composure, and you earn a grumble of embarrassment from him. As he turns away, you still see hints of his blushiness.

“..I love you too.”

Langue murmurs, turning back towards the television to listen in on the trial again. You let out a small laugh, shifting closer to Langue de Chat, and resting your head on his shoulder.

Today was a long day for the both of you,

But the nights— especially tonight�� are always worth it.

#langue de chat cookie #langue de chat x reader #cookie run #character x reader #cookie run x reader #cookie run x you #langue de chat cookie x reader #x reader #x you #fic #fanfic

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saras-devotionals · 2 months

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Hi, I need some advice from a sister-in-Christ please.

It's a boy. Yeah, I know, all bad stories start like that but hear me out. I'm pretty good mates with this boy, he's an amazing person, so kind, really thoughtful, his heart is on fire for Jesus, he's funny, just a great bloke.

I was at a worship thing with him, and I just started sobbing on the floor (good times), and he prayed for me. Anyway, while he was praying, I just "heard" this voice, and it just said "This man is your future husband".

I've prayed about it a lot since, and I always get that same response, yes, you are going to marry this man. And that's all good and well, Your will be done Lord, but like, it's not going to be happening anytime soon... because like, I'm a young teenager, he's a few years older than me, his mum is my teacher, and I just don't want to ruin our friendship. I'm sure that God has a plan, so I'm not going to rush anything, His timing is perfect, but I just would like some advice for like waiting - because I might be waiting 10 years, I might be waiting 30 years, you know?

first off I wanted to thank you for being comfortable enough to reach out to me and thank you for trying to seek advice. now, I don’t personally know you so my first suggestion would be to continually ask for advice from other women in your life who are strong in their faith and able to offer sound advice.

I did notice you mention you’re a young teenager and this guy is older, I don’t know the specifics of course but please try to be careful in situations like these, especially at that age, a few years can make a huge difference then compared to later on in life.

as for the waiting, I can completely relate to you! I have a situation of my own with a guy I like. There’s a lot that I’ve applied to my life that I can pass on to you. The first is to let him lead, don’t try to make any of the first moves yourself:

'Daughters of Jerusalem, I charge you by the gazelles and by the does of the field: Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires.' Song of Songs 2:7

This has always been a helpful scripture for me because it reiterates that it is not on my timing and, therefore, I shouldn't try to take charge of it.

Also, even with him leading, it must come from God. If his actions towards you seem in any way impure, talk to someone you trust about it and seek advice. A scripture that I always keep in mind when it comes to the guy I like is this one:

Jesus said to his disciples: "Things that cause people to stumble are bound to come, but woe to anyone through whom they come. It would be better for them to be thrown into the sea with a millstone tied around their neck than to cause one of these little ones to stumble. So watch yourselves." Luke 17:1-3a

This has such strong imagery, especially coming from Jesus! It makes me super aware of my actions and those around me and how we must always strive for the purity of not just ourselves but everyone who sees us too.

More on the waiting: I know it can be hard—so hard! I struggle a bit with it myself, and it’s good that you’re reminding yourself that God’s timing is greater than ours! What I’d suggest is taking the time to be content with yourself and with God. You have to love and seek God with all your heart first and foremost above everything else (if you want, I can tell you some more about seeking God). Something that's been told to me before that stuck is: how can we love someone who's imperfect (aka other people or partners) if we can't completely love the one who is perfect (God)!

Here's some scripture about seeking God and I would also highly recommend reading the rest of Psalm 119!

'Blessed are those whose ways are blameless, who walk according to the law of the Lord . Blessed are those who keep his statutes and seek him with all their heart—' Psalms 119:1-2

Also, strengthen your relationships with other sisters too! Don’t focus so much on spending time with the guy and I’d also advise against spending time alone with him. Remember, our purity matters, and we are also influential to other people as I mentioned earlier. Here's another scripture to help with that!

'“I have the right to do anything,” you say—but not everything is beneficial. “I have the right to do anything”—but not everything is constructive. No one should seek their own good, but the good of others. ' 1 Corinthians 10:23-24

I’d also advise against building up expectations or a fantasy of him, especially since you are set on believing he’s your future husband. This goes along with seeking God first because you don’t want to get to a point where you begin to idolize this guy and constantly think about him or a potential future relationship (you don't want to spend more time on him than your relationship with God). Live in the here and now! The future will come just as God has promised <3 (and just one last scripture to reaffirm the idolatry point):

'Therefore, my dear friends, flee from idolatry. ' 1 Corinthians 10:14

There’s so much more that I can discuss, and please feel free to reach out to me again if you need clarification on anything or wish for me to elaborate. I wish the absolute best for you, and I’ll be praying for your situation!

#bible #bible quote #bible scripture #bible verse #christian blog #christian faith #christian living #christianity #sisters in christ #jesus #faith in jesus #jesus saves #jesus loves you #love #advice #anon ask #saras devotionals

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malarkgirlypop · 5 months

Note

ZIM ZAM SISTER MALARK 🔥

26 (hehehe), 10, 13, 7 for the ask game!!

you are such a bright light in this fandom, thank you for being so ready to fight for us 💕

ZIM ZAM OH HOLY ONE!

26 - what meme do you associate with each of your mutuals?

Ok well it's not going to be as good as @panzershrike-pretz but I'll give it a go.

KINKY RON:

It's either one or the other ahaha

@panzershrike-pretz

ahahahah makes me giggle

@next-autopsy

If we burn you burn with us

@footprintsinthesxnd

Awwww you are too Jess

@ronsparky

He's just a sweet bean! (thank you to the meme queen herself for curating this for me @panzershrike-pretz)

@sweetxvanixlla

ahahahh crying crackheads am I right

@whollyjoly

hehehe

@xxluckystrike

I can hear you all the way over here Blu ahaha

@georgieluz

Sorry J hheheh

KINKY RON again

10 - an oc that you can't get enough of?

Actually I will do a different answer to my last but Peggy! From Lanterns that @panzershrike-pretz is writing, I love that fucking dog!

13 - what inspires you to create in the fandom?

Everyone, omg the things that everyone is producing is amazing and it just makes me want to strive to do better and post things that are as high quality as everyone else's work.

7- what hbowar blogs have your favorite aesthetic?

Oh so hard to choose, I love them all, they are all so unique like the person who is running them. I would have to say everyone! I can't choose!

#tag game #mutuals #band of brothers #hbo war

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drawing-way-outside-the-lines · 3 days

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OC Deep Dive Questionnaire Tag

A set of 20 questions to get to know your OC! Thank you for the tag Bool!! I'll follow in your step and do one of my wolves! And I'll retag you so you can do your other boy ;) @bool-prop. If I get another tag, I'll do another wolf.

What uncommon/common fear do they have? Sam isn't really afraid of much, though his biggest fear is losing a loved one.

Do they have any pet peeves? People not taking the advice they clearly need.

What are 3 items you can find in their bedroom? Crystals, books and plants.

What do they notice first in a person? Sam is extremely good at reading people, he notice fairly fast if they are 'good' or 'bad' people.

On a scale of 1 to 10, how high is their pain tolerance? Sam has a fairly high pain tolerance, it's not that he doesn't feel pain, but his calm nature makes him able not to react on everything he feels. I'd say he's a 7-8.

Do they go into fight or flight mode when under pressure? None of the above. He's more of a 'try to solve it calmly' type of person.

Do they come from a big family/are they a family person? He has a very big family, and are definitely a family person. He weighs family above anything else.

What animal represents them best? Wolf, shocker. He's a wolf shifter, it would simply be weird for me to say a Jaguar would represent him. But Sam does have a lot in common with wolves. 'Wolves are highly organized, methodical, and reliable individuals who prefer to follow a structured approach to tasks and decision-making. Wolf values tradition, order, and stability, and strives to maintain a sense of security in their environment. Wolves are complex, highly intelligent animals who are caring, playful, and above all devoted to family.'

What is a smell that they dislike? Any rotten meat. Sam has a very fine tuned sense of smell, and rotten meat is something that tends to get stuck in his nose and make him cringe.

Have they broken any bones? No, he has been close a couple times, but he's in general quite elegant and careful.

How would a stranger likely describe them? Too calm, to the point of irritation. Are they a night owl or a morning bird? He's an equal mix of both.

What is a flavor they hate and a flavor they love? He loves herbal flavors and hate artificially sweetened food.

Do they have any hobbies? He makes his own lotions, potions, soap, candles, bath bombs, ointments and perfume oils.

Boom, surprise birthday party! How do they react to surprises? He'd be super happy and genuinely surprised. Sam loves surprises, as long as they are of the positive kind.

Do they like to wear jewelry? Yes. Sam has pierced left eyebrow, he's had that since he was a teen. Furthermore he sometimes wear an ankle bracelet, and he always wears a leather bracelet on his left wrist, Adrian gave him.

Do they have neat or messy handwriting? Very neat, just look at the answer picture of him above, yes, that's his handwriting. What are two emotions they feel the most? Calm and relaxed.

Do they have a favorite fabric? Corduroy

What kind of accent do they have? He's accent neutral. I tag: @papermint-airplane, @doka-chan, @nectar-cellar, @rollo-rolls and @armanasims, feel free to ignore if this is not for you :)

#tag thing #Sam #Samuel Cullman-Thompson #immortal #supernatural #shapeshifter #wolf shifter #bool prop

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elicathebunny · 2 months

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Be yourself.

I see too many kids transform themselves from sweet children who barely did anything wrong in class, to those mean and stuck up ones who constantly disrupt and are rude to teachers. I recognise that some people are just like this, but i’ve literally witnessed first hand people changing completely to get into/join that group. I was also one of those people and I was quickly humbled before things progressed too far 😭.

Here are some lessons I’ve learned from surviving a British public secondary school + other gained knowledge

1) You will find your group of people as long as you keep remaining yourself, these friends will be the friends you can be authentically you around

2) Don’t change yourself to be anything your not, this will not end well and invite company that you don’t even fit into

3) Keep being yourself and you will find like minded people, once you get to yr10 your friend groups will finalise and will most likely be smaller. The less friends you have, the more easier it is to connect and be yourself with

4) Look into possibilities of hobbies and interests to understand yourself better. Join clubs/extracurricular activities (in school or out of school). Research at home things you might possibly be into, learn new things online

5) Who cares if people look at you weirdly? Honestly if your having fun being yourself and people look at you strange for doing so then that is their problem (obviously within reason because sometimes ppl are just weird fr)

6) Care about your future, focus on what you want to achieve in the years to come. Don’t dumb yourself down for anybody, listen to your teachers when they are genuinely just trying to teach, don’t be difficult and stop others in the class from learning just because you don’t want to, don’t skip class (from year 9ish to 10 onwards, those years contain important content for your GCSE’s and missing out on those will impact your grades) don’t be like the kids from my school who celebrate having 1s (a grade one is a ‘U’ or ungraded, you need a 4 to pass)…

7) Have aspirations, don’t just aspire to do the lowest of jobs for simplicity or out of laziness. Strive to work towards your goals, have dreams! Keep motivated to do well, study and always aim high

8) Don’t do what you know you wouldn’t actually do if you didn’t feel pressured or influenced.

9) Don’t change yourself or stress about boys. The wrong ones are a waste of time and extra stress. Don’t force yourself onto anyone and I mean this because there are people who honestly are too obsessed for their own good with men and do not care if they are relationships or not 😭(you can tell I am a witness of this one). Honestly pray for the right one to come to you, no matter how long it takes, I promise one will just slide into your life just like that 😣 (Speaking from experience). Just be normal around them and if they don’t like you for letting out the side you only share when comfortable then they are not the one, trust

10) Find and invest in a unique personal style. This helps define you as a person, knowing what you truly like that isn’t sculpted by social media or heavily influenced by others around you (although it is perfectly fine to like those styles too! You can merge them to make them more you). This does take time though, break out of those aesthetic boxes and just wear whatever you like. Get Pinterest and put everything in a board so it’s easier to look at.

#self improvement #dream girl #self growth #student life

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solradguy · 7 months

Note

Please at some point if you can write about how those 2 panels in beginning and what they mean to you the begin content is always so good and also really enjoy how rough the drawings where for it UGH

Yess god I love Begin so much. Honestly, it's like a 7/10 star scifi novel at best; it's a pretty standard "guy gets monsterified by evil science" plot. But Sol/Frederick means so much to me and that book did more for his characterization than almost any other piece of GG media has before or since, imo.

I picked this thing apart like a carcass so readmore because it goes on for miles. A thorough dump of my thoughts on what I have labeled as "begin pic 12" in my GG Begin scans folder. Vague suicide mention warning for when I start talking about the personal stuff near the middle.

What I love about those two panels is that it's the first time we get to see Sol after he gets turned into a Gear and it's a downtime moment. It's 6 months after Asuka betrayed him and he just finished whatever mechanical process was required to complete the first Gear cell suppressor headband. He's actually unplugging it in the second panel on the left. There's a third panel below these where he's picking up the headband and there's a strong focus on how monstrous and gross his hand is as an effect of the Gear cells, but it's not quite as interesting as the first panel here.

It's so small. This is the only time we ever see or hear a (canon) description of what Sol's personal living space looks like. They DO show him at some kind of house at the end of Strive, but it's barely fleshed out. There aren't that many details or strong hints in that scene like there are here.

I've talked about this potted plant in the window a lot, it's my favorite detail in this illustration.

It's not clear what kind of plant it is though. Maybe some kind of succulent with how stiff and solid the leaves look? Something Sol doesn't have to worry too much about taking care of—low effort in case he has to leave for a long time or forgets to water it. But like... Where did he get this plant? The building he's living in is described as a rusty shack out in the middle of nowhere, so I doubt the plant was there when he moved in. He must've picked it up somewhere and brought it back. Why?

Sol calls himself a monster multiple times throughout Begin and it's pretty clear how keenly aware he is of his rapidly vanishing humanity. He knows his time is running out and he's trying to slow it down by making the limiter headband but that's only a temporary fix. Asuka betrayed him, Aria might be dead (or worse), he can't even blend in with normal humans anymore, and the only animals that are like him are mindless war machines. Sol is completely and absolutely alone.

Except he's got that plant.

The plant doesn't have feelings, it can't judge him. If he goes mad and becomes a rampaging animal like the bear Gear at the end of Begin, the plant won't know or care. Sol got that plant from somewhere and whether he takes care of it or not, it's something else for him to think about. A single purely organic thing in his rusty, machine-littered, shack. If he can't bring himself to do anything else on a given day, if the Gear cells are screaming too loudly and he just wants to say fuck it all and rip everything apart, he's got that tiny little potted thing that only needs sunlight and water. Daisuke probably didn't even think about it that hard when he was designing this scene, but I have hahah I appreciate this little plant. There is a lot of thought put into the layout of the things on Sol's desk though, so perhaps Daisuke did have a motive putting the plant there too.

Sol's desk space is about what you'd expect. A tiny toolbox under the light, notes, wires, balled up scrapped papers, books (likely on magic and software engineering, probably something on wiring), the corkboard up above that has a map with marked out locations that are implied to be locations of places Asuka might have gone since the research lab him, Sol, and Aria worked at exploded (referenced in the epilogue). The rolled tubes on the right may be maps or computer schematics for Sol to reference for making the suppressor.

Based on the position of his hands in the other panels, that thing near his elbow must be whatever was compiling something onto the suppressor headband. I don't know what those are directly in front of him by that dark tower. They look sort of like computer chips/boards? Too low detail to know for sure.

The rest of the scene around his desk are just cabinets and drawers without much unique/outstanding detail. Nothing unique or outstanding enough to base anything off of, just set pieces.

For purely personal reasons, I love this illustration because I spend a lot of time sitting at my own cluttered, dimly lit, desk working on projects that keep me sane haha. Sol's arc through Begin is relatable too, in a way, with regards to gender and body stuff. It's easy to read a lot of the Gear things as an allegory for transitioning for people that didn't have a very smooth transition or that took a long time to accept that's what they are. I fell into that latter category for a long time. Once puberty hit, I realized that I didn't want to be like a woman, but being trans was bad? All depictions of trans people that I knew were jokes or were things like drag, and none of them were women into men. I didn't know a single depiction of a trans man until I went looking for it myself as an adult. They were all tomboys that rescinded their masculinity and became petite girls in pastels. Or they were villains that died and were made fun of.

So. I just didn't know you could do it. I thought that maybe there were just never any women that felt like men or that they were something other than a woman. There was no one to talk to about it, no resources to look up, I hated myself over it because it was a bad thing meant to be kept to yourself. I grew my hair really long to cover my chest and only wore baggy/layered clothes to smooth out my unfortunately curvy waist. On top of this, I have also been 6'5" since I was about 14. I didn't fit in with the women at school because they saw me as a man and I didn't fit in with the men because, biologically, I was a woman. Through all of this, I had to move with my mom across the country to live with a literal nazi because I knew if I didn't, she'd do something stupid (I was right in that she didn't want to because I was there). My friends wanted me to stay and live with my dad but I didn't know how to tell them that I couldn't. I didn't tell them when I was leaving and just left.

I had no friends, no one else was physically like me, there was nothing for me to relate to or find inspiration in. I don't know what kept me going, in hindsight. Everything pissed me off all of the time. All I had was my sick cat, metal playlists, and art. Man, did I have art though.

My art teacher let me skip Art 2 to go from Art 1 directly into Advanced Placement Art (AP Art) because I was graduating that year and she saw potential in me. For our AP Art final portfolios, we had to do a certain set of pieces with fixed themes (portrait, abstract, specific mediums, life study, etc) and then another set of something like 12 that were wholly original illustrations connected through a single, personal, theme. The theme for my original pieces was that monsters have no friends because they're big and scary and no one else is like them, but that they still need love because they're just trying to find their place in the world. Lol. I wish I still had the short essay I wrote about it, but it was so long ago...

I don't really know what was keeping Sol going at the end of Begin either, when he's living in that shack so far from his own home, alone. But I get it though. Sometimes something activates in the human spirit when shit's got it out bad for you that makes you want to keep going. It ended up working out for me. My mom's still alive, I have friends again and I know who I am now despite being a weird biological anomaly. It's working out pretty well for Sol now too, it seems, despite it all.

#asks #gg begin #suicide cw #long post

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