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quanticq · 7 months

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Hey Q! Sorry for bothering you, but for some reason I can no longer find any of your tik tok accounts 😭 Did they get deleted or something?

Hi this is Q! I’m coming out of the woodwork to address this, since I did went radio silent out of the blue so it’s not a bother at all

The short answer is Yes, I deleted my tiktok

Yes delete not deactivate, I’m not coming back to That app or IG or Twt, I deleted my socials except here and YouTube, I honestly felt so overwhelmed with everything, I realized I’m not even posting for myself anymore there. A lots of people crossed my boundaries time and time again I felt so helpless, bitter with myself. I guess I was just overwhelmed with the attention I got; both positive and negatives ones.

Im done and I want to start over so that’s why I’m here and on YouTube, I already posted some of these on my community tab on YT but here’s what I have in mind for the future of the content I want to create: more detail under the cut, and also;

CW: very brief mention of spiraling, harm inflict oneself or others, paranoia, etc

•Long-form content: my attention span is a bit messed up from consuming and making short-form content to the point where I can’t focus in university. I want to create something meaningful. It’s not that my previous content was not meaningful, no. I had fun and no time is wasted when I have fun, it was warm… but as I mentioned earlier, I just felt this lingering bitterness the longer I stayed making those short-form content. It really felt like I was on the verge of losing it. Especially with how the bigger following I have the less people think of me as a person than just another content creator you see on the internet,

I want to create long-form content, I’m so tired of forcing myself to generate 15 second content. On tiktok it just feels like I’m just creating and not really connecting. I want to try something new, maybe create an open space for meaningful discussion in the comments. I don’t think I can stand another copy-paste tiktok comment anymore. You know what I meant if you’re frequent on that app.

•Art Content with Commentary: and don’t worry this won’t be those petty artist drama issue, but I will still cover anything serious

it could be love letters or video essays ranging from fan fictions, fandom culture, the art scene and so much more. I may even share a bit of my personal life, this will be self indulgent after all! I want to make it fun for myself and as well to those who comes across my channel. I really REALLY want to create a genuine following.

On tiktok it’s so easy to gain following but not so easy to retain them, it’s mostly because of the algorithm and the FYP feature there.

On Tiktok most content that would get featured as an artist there would be creative work has to be either; more than exceptional which is pressuring enough already to consistent posters, straight up suggestive content shown to minors (tiktok doesn’t really have a blocked keywords feature but it’s so disheartening to see these creators intentionally not using the sensitive warning since it could limit their reach significantly) oh yes we can’t forget the negativity surrounding beginner artists or “art lore”

All of this cesspool of negativity, it’s a whole can of worms but it will be one of my prominent topics that I wish to discuss in my future art commentaries. I hope you guys are looking forward to those! I might bring in a few people or so to talk about it with me

and finally;

•Streaming: I used to do a lot of streams during the weekends on the clock app and it was super fun! I want to bring that back but that would have to wait since I’m unfamiliar with some features on YouTube, and I’m aware that YT does not have a discoverable feature for stream but that’s alright, I want to start something small first.

In short; I’ll figure it out! just need some baby steps before I start streaming again.

I apologize for deleting everything out of the blue, if I’m gonna be honest it was partially planned because I’ve been thinking about deleting my tiktok, twitter and Instagram for a while now but how it happened? In my breakdown I realized that I don’t want anyone to see me spiral, especially now that I realized how young my audience are, I’m not sure how that happened but I guess posting fandom contents does attract the young ones somehow inevitably, even though my content is nowhere near as suggestive, but I do talk about serious topics from time to time… but I digress, its not fair for them to deal with me if they see me spiral publicly,

it is especially not fair to them to console me. When I was younger than 14, I’ve been in a position where I have to talk down someone who was older, maybe 4-5 years older than me, from harming themselves or anyone, it was traumatizing and unpleasant. I don’t wish for anyone to go through that, it’s very painful.

It’s been… hard for me to ground myself. Ive been seeing things through a kaleidoscope of emotions; I was trying to focus on everything but it’s just too overwhelming so eventually I cracked. But please don’t worry I’ve been doing better now, after some time away from my online persona, and of course spending time with my beloved girlfriend, I see things much more clearly now.

Thank you to anyone who read this and much so appreciate those who understand where I’m coming from

Also now that I think of it can my stuff be considered as lost media now? Amazing! But please don’t be sad the fun I had was genuine!

Thank you again to those who genuinely enjoyed my content on tiktok but it’s time for me to try my hand at something new, I will still be dwelling in my creative headspace just.. away from public for now,

if you’re looking forward for my future post, make sure to check out my YouTube! I still have a lot I need to cook hehe, this is one of the few!

More post soon, Bye bye! -Q

#vent #mental health #mentions of unhealthy habits #I’m not sure how to tag these but I’ll try my best!#social media #q myers #tiktok #burnt out #creative fatigue #sorry for the rant #rant #content creator #art community

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rederiswrites · 1 year

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Ok, I swear, this one's for the people who DON'T follow K-pop, and only know BTS as some Korean boyband that uses a lot of autotune. Just to highlight some things I'm currently enjoying the hell out of from their careers. Lemme start with some context.

So in Korea, Idol is a job above and beyond just performing onstage. You are meant to be a product. An object for adoration, specifically trained and cultivated to create the sort of parasocial relationship that sells out shows and merchandise. It is fucking rigorous. It usually involves substantial economic hardship unless and until you're one of the handful of groups that makes it big. It's also blatantly predatory, and idols are chosen when they're literally kids, at most 18 usually.

Your contract with the label frequently specifies that you're not allowed to swear, smoke, date, or generally do anything not squeaky clean anywhere you might be seen, which, since they've got cameras shoved up your ass and bolted to your bed, is everywhere. Merely touching a person of the opposite sex can set off a whole scandal and get you (or the poor unfortunate you breathed near) a huge pile of hate. They're also perfectly aware that they're "just" idols, just boybands or girl bands, to a lot of people, and not considered serious musicians, even in their own country.

Idols also have a pretty short shelf-life. Korean beauty standards are, as far as I can tell, even more youth-obsessed than in the US. The oldest female artists are like, 34. There's like, one woman over 30 for every twenty under 20. Men's careers often founder on their mandated military service, which is roughly two years (depending on branch). They've got to serve that by the time they're 30.

BTS got extensions, because they're a statistically significant percent of the entire South Korean GDP. But now the elder members have got to do their service, no way around it. Kim Seokjin (Jin) went in a couple months ago, Jung Hoseok (J-Hope) a few days ago. So the group is on hiatus, there's no helping it.

That was the background. What happens now is the fun part.

The Korean government played politics, bouncing back and forth on "should idols big enough get exemptions" for years, specifically namedropping and using BTS as a political toy. BTS themselves didn't comment on any of it, and played their cards very close to their chest and said nothing about their military service. Then they did a huge concert in Busan, Korea, where they resurrected an old rap cipher which involves chanting "Fuck you I don't care, you can't control my shit", performed it with such fire that it looked like they were legit about to start a riot, and then the next week announced that they were going on hiatus and Jin was entering the military.

Since then, let's see: nearly every member has at least posted a shirtless photo, and the three youngest members have done entire photoshoots (and in one case a music video) shirtless. Jimin released a single titled "Set Me Free"--not terribly subtle--and a photoshoot he made a point of saying he'd designed from the ground up, which is SOAKED in queer symbology. I have to emphasize that these choices are all MUCH more significant than they would be in the US. Min Yoongi put an entire album full of rage and violent imagery and painful intimacy and swearing, and smoked and shot people and performed self-harm in his music videos. J Hope released an album full of dark driving rhythms utterly unlike his previous work, and broke sales records as a solo star at Lollapalooza, even while still singing and rapping primarily in Korean.

Some of the members are quieter, clearly a bit unmoored without the thing that has shaped and dictated their entire adult lives, but they're also shrugging off the idol image with deep relief. Namjoon is philosophizing and being extremely frank about mental struggles and crying on camera. Jungkook is having regular almost uncomfortably intimate lives, where he just sings along with the music or folds his laundry or even just smiles sleepily at the camera for a while. Who the hell knows what Taehyung does. Exactly as he pleases, probably, but definitely while wearing thousands of dollars of fashion and looking like the prince of the dark sidhe.

I was looking forward to this. Not to the military service, of course. As a non-Korean, I'm well aware that it's none of my damn business, but of course I don't like it. But I was looking forward to these guys slipping the leash and having lives and careers beyond the chains of idolhood. And it's been pretty awesome so far.

#BTS #K pop

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penkraft123 · 1 year

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What have you learned using social media for your art business?

Social media is the biggest platform nowadays, almost everything you can learn from social media and grow your business. By using social media you can keep up to date with the latest trends in your topics that you are interested in. A recent study showed that 81% of business owners using social media have experienced business growth.

With every new year, social media changes the way we interact with each other, making us more connected to the people and interests we love.

But finding your place in a world full of endless conversations seems almost impossible.

Here are some tips you can learn from social media and grow your business

Promote your artwork

Always add new work to your website but don’t miss the opportunity to "show" your latest art to potential buyers via Facebook or LinkedIn posts or add them to the Pinterest section. You never know who might look at your pages for good art because most social media users are silent viewers or spectators. Many artists report that these viewers often turn out to be consumers. the more you can show the consistent record of selling artwork, the more likely you are to be represented by a gallery.

2. Let people know you

Having your website that has your bio could also be an excellent start, but you'll use social media tools to offer potential buyers more and frequent glimpses of your product. For example, nature painter Jane Freeman's daily meditation posts on the surrounding environment on Facebook reveal her love and poetic views of nature, which supports her artistic creation. Likewise, your professional Facebook and LinkedIn pages often post about your artistic endeavors, which will keep people informed about your product. And don’t forget Pinterest, it’s another way to show your followers more of your product. About 900 million people use Facebook, 161 million members use LinkedIn, and nearly 19 million people use Pinterest. Many art collectors will have a better chance to meet you through social media.

3. Upload your art to social media

This makes it more likely to be shared. You can always include a link to a higher resolution image in your post description. For all the social networks you use, please be familiar with the image sizes they are assigned. Keep them in mind when posting new work, so you can fix them yourself rather than letting the website do it. Use hashtags with your art, By properly tagging your works, you can greatly increase your chances of gaining new followers and buyers.

4. Turn off your inner Salesman

We all know what sales promotion sounds like. We are bombarded by so many advertisements every day that we naturally try to ignore anything that even sounds of sales promotion. Don't let your customer think of you as a salesperson. Publish your thoughts, sketches, or details of the work you have done to break your time to drive purchases. And you don’t need to stop selling your art. All I have to learn to treat your followers like a normal person, not like a steady stream of cash

What I learn from Instagram

Consistency is important, remember? Check out the Instagram profile of anyone with 100k+ followers. Now calculate how many posts they upload per day. I’ve found that some of the most popular people on an Instagram post anywhere from 1 to 10 times a day!

However, as an artist, this is when you should definitely take advantage of Work In Progress posts.

Rather than directly posting a finished work, it is better to create suspense. As your masterpiece slowly unfolds, let people wait a few hours between each update. Continue to attract your followers by including short process videos showing the full modification of your work.

Also, you should focus on the quality of images, use high-quality images, give your business information. Invest in technology or software to help improve your product photos. And make them stand out with their unique composition or vivid colors.

What I learn from Facebook videos

End your videos with a call to action, not only ask followers, to like and comment but also ask to share and subscribe to the videos. As you may know, Facebook now allows us to see every time our friends comment or like other people’s posts on the site, more and more people can connect to the new page only through the activities of friends.

So what as an artist you can learn.

Strongly convey your message or information through your videos.

Make a personal connection with your audience.

Efforts to inspire call-to-action without the feeling of being thrown out.

Check your Stats:

The only way to know if any of these are effective is to track your efforts. Write down your statistics and check them frequently. Be aware of the differences between the types of posts you publish, as well as any changes to the composition, topic, and overview.

Conclusion: Yes, your work is very important. But have you presented your work to enough people? Social media shows that the world's most popular artists can come from any background, artistic style, or level of difficulty. Mastering social media is totally up to you.

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dereksmcgrath · 2 years

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What the shell does it say about our current American mind-break that Ninja Turtle fans at a crowded convention are more responsible masking up against COVID than so many other people?

Picking up where I left off before, in a post at this link regarding what has changed and should change at conferences due to COVID: I don’t want to take too much solace in what I saw on social media, but a line of people masked up at the Ninja Turtles booth at San Diego Comic Con was at least an improvement.

I’ve never been to San Diego Comic Con. And despite its sheer size, that crowdedness, while not desirable, didn’t deter me from ever going there.

Before COVID, when I didn’t have to think about crowded areas, despite the sheer size of that convention, I didn’t feel intimidated at the thought of being there: I’ve dealt with massive crowds at Anime Expo, I’ve navigated through crowded subway stations in New York City, I’ve found my way through unfamiliar airports to make my connection.

But COVID, with how transmissible it is, makes me take seriously all steps we must take to reduce the spread and reduce our risk: mask up, maintain distance, wash hands, disinfect frequently touched areas, improve ventilation and filtering, vaccinate and do it frequently, and don’t do in a group what you can do from home.

With all of that, knowing what awaits me at SDCC, and knowing all the good experiences I have had at conventions, I am not so wanting that I would risk my health to attend another fan convention. If I want to see the trailers, most will leak online eventually. If I want the merch, it’s not impossible to get the same or comparable items elsewhere–especially if fan artists can afford to mail (I hope safely) their product. If I want to meet a celebrity in person, well, it’s not like there aren’t some I would like to talk to, but I’ve met a lot in person, and I can see those voice actors, comics creators, and more in numerous online presentations and talks.

All of this is to say, looking at Comic Con, I still think it is unsafe for me to go in person. And the bar is really that low, that seeing this video of people masked up for a Ninja Turtles booth is impressive, with how much resistance my fellow Americans put up out of their damn foolishness.

Hell, the Ninja Turtles don’t typically wear masks over their mouths, and yet their fans know more to mask up to reduce the spread of COVID.

(This doesn’t ignore so much more that needs to be done and isn’t done: ventilation, accessibility, mandatory vaccination for travel and other activities and locations, basic universal income, remote working opportunities, shaming the anti-Asian bigotry since COVID and long before COVID, and many other improvements and necessities I have not mentioned.)

#ninja turtles #covid #sdcc #wear a mask #long post

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petalsmooth · 3 years

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Ok.

Let’s talk Lili.

First off we only know what stars put out about themselves or other people say about them. We are not friends with these people. We are not in their homes. We don’t usually hear what they say in unguarded conversation. What we know is what is out on social media with some highly distorted soundbites from chats or DM’s with her mother that were exposed.

We were initially presented a portrait pushed by her and her family no less of a middle class family with the standard girl next door hit it big narrative. Down to earth, relatable, somewhat quirky. Strong two parent supportive household. All that was missing were the apron and pearls.

This girl came out of the gates talking about a modernized Riverdale with two girls who would be actually close and not vying for the same redhead. Feel free to add/or correct along the way of course...especially early on when not following as closely.

We got very little in the way of insight into Cole and Lili because they were trying to keep it quiet even if there were hints together. Mostly during this period what fans were fed was that she was slightly awkward socially, maybe not the most intellectual but nice and harmless. She spoke of empowering women, independence, she constantly shut down the idea of Barchie and praised Bughead. Along through the year’s she would speak to social bullying or bullying in general. She would openly talk about struggles with mental health. She’d talk and show her cystic acne and share photos not all airbrushed in ode to body positivity. She’d talk about not having an hourglass figure, and cellulite and often go out in ratty shorts and a bun sans makeup. You see she’d talk about it then follow through by showing lived the walk or calling out photoshops done of her.

Again this is “relatable girl next door quirky Lili” we told was the REAL Lili.

She would frequently talk and post about her family and dogs at home and how much she loved and missed them...though oddly not so much her older sister.

At a certain point it became undeniable Cole and Lili were together to even the hardest deniers. Of course also the Met gala eventually made official for media.

We get have her liking posts such as Miley’s about how lucky she was to have a man who checked off all the boxes. But at times there were glimpses all wasn’t kosher. People have mentioned various cons where she’d be caught flirting somewhere else, or she’d be in a bad mood giving Cole a cold shoulder. We recently saw an old video of them walking and her basically demanding he drop the fans and attend her. We have the con were Camilla is sexually harassing Cole everywhere and Lili doesn’t shut it down until Camilla tries to grind on him. It was so bad even Mads intervened. We have the interview where she is talking over him or rolling her eyes and basically being the unprofessional brat her fans claim she is not. Even though it’s ON CAMERA. Snapping at your co worker/boyfriend and rolling your eyes during a professional interview is not deniable.

Flashforward to the trip to Italy because for me there was always something off about that. That trip was obviously planned far in advance. Clearly Lili was supposed to be there. Her fans quickly blamed Cole because Lili was working. Lili didn’t have to work. It wasn’t a career changing move to do that film. It did not do well. I’m not entirely sure what was happening around that time but I have the sense Cole was disappointed/a little angry she prioritized it over him accepting very likely the offer AFTER the trip was planned.

Lili spirals during this time. Cole comes back to clean up mess. They are quiet on social media for a long time then slowly emerge again and eventually get the photo booth shots, the wedding and her mingling with NY friends for once. Turns out close to the end for them.

I don’t want to make this a Sprousehart post though although some relevance to bring part of it up. The point is Lili put her career over her relationship. It was a calculated decision. It was also the wrong decision. Her fans talk about her being this warm giving person but that was a cynical call and a pretty lousy thing to do to your boyfriend of several year’s. I’m all for supportive partners but there are time’s where you make sacrifices if you really care for someone and this was a special trip planned long in advance. She blew it off. If I’m the partner she does this too, I question why I’m putting in the effort if it doesn’t mean to them what it means to me.

TBH I think the bad choices she made there is why tried to make it up by meeting with his friends, the wedding etc...

Something than clearly happened because by January they were done. Not sure we’ll ever know but it looked like they were trying to fix things given the happiness hadn’t seen on Cole’s faces in a long time in those booth pics and then...it was done. We didn’t know at the time, but this is timeline Cole gave. There was a brief attempt at reconciliation where she babysits him at a photo shoot and posts a photo of them in bed and then shortly after...Cole calls it off.

He heads to LA, she follows him there but not without making sure to shove Casey’s face into her chest to post and rent a place close to where he is staying. She posts weepy messages about the world ending etc....and weird new photos mimicking old shoots with him so naturally people think this means whatever happened they worked through. Around same time she and hers manipulated her fans to try to cancel him earlier because she misunderstood a picture of Kaia....although flat out if he had been with Kaia he was SINGLE and it was no longer her business.

She tries to walk back the firestorm she unleashed on him by “defending” him from a lesser twitter trend after realizing misconstrued the Kaia picture, All summer she weirdly seems to be trying to avoid the topic if they are together or not despite saying once if they weren’t she’d tell people. She finally puts her foot in her mouth one two many times' and Cole confirms they broke up which she doesn’t acknowledge. Because she doesn’t want to be broken up.

As we know know it wasn’t all rainbows on the set even before all this happened as in the musical she’d launched an object at him hard enough to have the crew concerned. Lili fans keep saying Cole is abusive but the only evidence we have of abuse is her towards him. We also had her suddenly doing a 180 from past 4 year’s and excusing cheating with Archie and promoting everyone in her live recaps except Cole/Jughead.

Back to the events following Cole’s post....then we get a sudden string of interviews taking shots at Cole, doxxing him, implying he could have strayed (just to resurrect hate against him) but can’t say he actually did because she has no proof. We know this because in those chats admit it was just suspicion and paranoia and never did have any names.

We learn that Lili has been funneling news and gossip and photos to keep her mother’s hold on the fandom in check and her mother in turn has been bullying people who would stand on Cole’s side. They sought to ruin him. This is not debatable.

For year’s people had made fun and called Bree out for being an obsessive stalker unable to let a relationship go, then Lili starts doing the same. We know she has tried to copy Ari’s style, her mother made a snide comment about breast size, Lili tried to taunt Ari from on set and Ari shut her down. A girl who almost never was in the line of sight of paps suddenly is snapped everyday following break up even before the public new. That doesn’t just happen. She wanted the attention.

I’m not going to go into all of it, you all know it. Suffice to say revealing she has a bitter vindictive attitude she has submersed herself in ever since Cole made it clear no reunion. She won’t even broach the topic of Bughead/Jughead unless forced. You can spin all you like but the split screens was not an artistic choice by RD. It was spurred by need to keep them apart.

Lili last summer was doing precious little other than a post or two of Black Lives matter and then when Cole gets arrested suddenly she jumps on the me too and sets up impulsive lives. Maybe she meant well but a part of me thinks she did it to attract his attention. Notice once she got praise for it and the initial protests faded she more or less doesn’t bring it up anymore. Cole never intended to get attention, it just happened because he’s a star and got taken in to a jail cell. He never put himself on camera for notice.

Lili also co-opts the murder of a girl to flaunt she thinks she looks good naked. Completely tone deaf.

Lili very rarely is seen in fan photos, only usually when she’s getting flack for it online. She, a girl who talks about bullying, went on a midnight tirade against a guy who dares to critique or poetry setting her fans on him. Then deleted it probably because publicist in her ear.

She first said poems not about Cole, than said you could read into what you wanted to sell them. Now she doesn’t want to talk poetry or sequels because it flopped and was critically panned.

There are constant rumors about Lili on sets of productions to point they even had someone on her newer movie try to downplay. Yet we see in a video the cast barely talking and looking tense on a boat.

The girl who used to talk about body positivity now lets them airbrush abs onto her.

The girl who used to talk of therapy and mental illness now promotes OTC supplements for $ and cults.

If she mentions cellulite she uses other tik toks of people showing not her own.

She said she would never be on tik tok, yet now has her own and post old videos that aren’t funny.

Lili once tired to attack Cole by talking about losing yourself in drugs or alcohol or sex yet we’ve seen her drug paraphernalia because she advertises. Her friends post and laugh over her being drunk. She was in an off and on relationship with Wallis that doesn’t seem to be about anything but sex.

We were told Coles friends are bad influences but Taylor is out there solicitating questionable clients and making videos slamming LILI’S COWORKER as a bad actor and his brother,

The majority of Lili’s posts no longer feature Sunny or her family/Addy.

She insulted Vancouver, compared to a prison, and made it clear her creature comforts were of more importance than a pandemic. Not quite the attitude of an empath. Which she claims she is with intention to be a master which require sucking more gullible people into the cult.

She brags about being a “rich man” without understand the context. She went from artistic photos to modeling pinups to fuel her lack of self esteem.

She’s in her mid 20′s, claims she had grown and matured in the last year but there is no evidence of it. Still can’t work with her ex without buffers which still influences show direction though her fans deny.. Still lives off junk food and hangovers. Those glasses aren’t just for sun. Her timeline is mostly an ode to her vanity with pictures of herself and then her dog. She doesn’t seem to have any causes she’s deeply involved in on the side apart from her cult. She’s still stalking Cole as her impulsive makeup tutorial showed. She said she cut out of her life anyone who doesn’t service her. I highly doubt she is receiving quality therapy on the regular right now. She still does not seem to possess the ability to own her mistakes and apologize when warranted, rather deflects or erases when heat becomes too hot.

The content she puts out about herself post break up is very different than the bill of goods fans were sold before. She is a far cry from that quirky girl next door that stood FOR something more than vanity and shallow affirmation. So no, I don’t see what you see in her stans. Everything that once seemed to distinguish her from other spoilt princesses has long faded.

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getoutofmyjaneway · 3 years

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Beta Cannon: the Pre Voyager Era of Kathryn Janeway | Mosaic v The Autobiography of Kathryn Janeway

This weekend, I got a copy of the Autobiography of Kathryn Janeway from a local book store. For how frequently we speak about Mosaic in the community (despite having some flaws) I was shocked that I had not heard a lot about this book and assumed it was a bad thing. And yeah in some regards it was (see @mia-cooper’s post on the subject). I have a lot of feelings (I’ll post a proper review at a later point) but one thing that did stick out to me is the divergence from what we have considered Beta Canon, aka, the extended universe of Star Treks told through novels, short stories, video games, etc. After completing the novel, I jumped right into my old standby copy of Mosaic, which has dictated a lot of Janeway’s back story since 96. Both of these novels cover the beginnings of Janeway’s life and how she was shaped into the woman we know.

TLDR The Autobiography of Kathryn Janeway changes a lot of things for no reason. Some of these are for the good. Some for the bad. And some, for like no good reason at all, like it was fine as it was, and was accepted cannon for like 25 years, but sure fine whatever.

I will mention that, as Mosaic has been a book in my library and I have read it too many times, so of course, I do have a bias toward it. Additionally, I feel like it is fair to mention here that authors of Fanfiction have leaned on this as their bibles since 1996 as Mosaic is written by Jeri Taylor, one of the show-runners for Voyager. Because of its connection with a showrunner, Mosaic is also integrated into the canon of the show. It seems that most points that are taken from Mosaic in the Autobiography are only included because of their existence in cannon material.

Anyway, this review is going to focus on the characters that shape Kathryn and I will end with my final thoughts. This is long so to respect your dash, you are going to have to click keep reading. You’re welcome.

Obligatory Spoiler Warning for ALL of Mosaic, chapter 13 of Pathways, and chapters 1-7 of The Autobiography of Kathryn Janeway

Edward Janeway

In all media, I feel like we can safely say that Kathryn Janeway is in fact a daddy’s girl. Her relationship with her father is very important to her, so it is interesting to see how it is portrayed very differently in both novels. In Mosaic, a lot of the highlights of Janeway’s earlier years revolve around time spent with him. From giving her special attention after ‘Your Sister’ was born, to consoling her after her losing tennis match and subsequent walk home in the rain, and trips to Mars, Kathryn mentions great fondness of quality time spent. In the Autobiography of Kathryn Janeway he is more described as an absent father, one that she always wanted to see and please. When he was home, she wanted all of his attention and to impress him greatly. She wished to follow in his footsteps after gaining a love of flight and the stars with a plane ride and a telescope he gave her. He tried to prepare her by detaining the events of the current conflict with Cardassia and inviting Starfleet brass over for dinner. Overall, in her early childhood, it makes more sense for Edward to not be around often. There is not a lot of conflict between the sources, other than the details of the aforementioned tennis match and different childhood nicknames.

Edward is in a crash aboard an experimental ship on Tau Ceti Prime which leads to his death. This is where the big differences begin. In Mosaic, Kathryn and her fiancé are also on board. In Autobiography of Kathryn Janeway, Kathryn is still on the Al-Batani. The fall out of this event has a great effect on Kathryn of course in both novels. As this is a missive shaping event of Kathryn’s life, I felt it very jarring to be changed. This moment shaped Janeway and gives us good context for why she handles situations the way she does. I see this trauma and I understand her character better, for dealing with the loss of two of the most important people in her life all at once.

Gretchen Janeway

The Autobiography of Kathryn Janeway was good to Gretchen Janeway as her character is basically a blank slate. We know little about her from Mosaic as it mostly focuses on Kathryn’s relationship with her father (and other male influences in her life). It is nice to learn more things about Grechen as with Edward’s job, it is likely that Kathryn was mainly raised by her. Other than being an artist, she also wrote some of the Flotter holos and wrote a number of children’s stories about the people of Bajor during the occupation. She does a lot of humanitarian work with the refugees from Bajor during the occupation. She loves to garden and get her daughters involved. She has a close bond with Phoebe due to their overlapping interests, but you can tell that she strives to support her in what she does. Overall, I like getting know Gretchen to be someone of than Kathryn’s mother.

Phoebe Janeway

I was shocked when researching Memory Alpha for this review, Phoebe is never named in any Cannon media up to this point (Star Trek Prodigy could very well change this). We know Janeway has a sister and she is an artist, but that is it. Both novels keep her very similar personality-wise. In both stories, Kathryn is not looking forward to being a big sister. They also both mourn the loss of their father together. In Mosaic, she is not mentioned much. Kathryn tells her she is not old enough on an off planet trip and Phoebe plays pranks on her. The Autobiography of Kathryn Janeway goes much more into depth. They don’t get along when they are younger. They fight a lot. I feel this is a very realistic portrayal of real siblings, vying for attention and approval, snapping when they don’t get their way. They both excel at what they do, Kathryn in her studies and Phoebe through her art. They seem to need to one-up each other at every turn. As they grow up, they grow closer together, as many siblings do. Points added for giving Phoebe a wife, something which has been included in a lot of fanfiction. Overall, there are no big conflicting points.

Mark Johnson

Kathryn’s fiance at the time of the Voyager’s disappearance, Mark is a very different part of Kathryn’s life in both novels. In Mosaic, he is a childhood friend and went by his middle name Hobbs. Seemingly always two steps behind Kathryn, he did a lot of the same activities that she did, tennis and swimming in the underground cave systems. He did these poorly, and this makes Kathryn always look down upon him. They reconnected after her father’s death and she fell head-over-heels for him. Personally, I always felt this was a little uncharacteristic of Kathryn, to run away from her responsibilities to be with a man. It just seems very out of character and has always bothered me. The Autobiography of Kathryn Janeway takes a completely different approach. She meets Mark as a friend of Pheobe and her wife as a widower. They hit it off and they fall hard. You can see the conflict in Kathryn as she debates how to move forward with a relationship as they have different outlooks on life. She has a drive to explore but does not want to be an absent parent. She debates quitting, which I don’t think is something Janeway would have ever done. Overall she decides to accept Mark’s proposal just before taking command of Voyager. This makes the Dear John situation a lot more believable as it makes sense that he would want to move on with his life much quicker. Overall, I have to just ask, why? I know Mark doesn’t have a lot of character, but why change basically their whole relationship dynamic?

Justin Tighe

Justin is a character I actually like for selfish reasons. This explains why I was very miffed that he was nowhere to be seen in the Autobiography of Kathryn Janeway. Justin is Kathryn’s first love, they were coworkers, engaged and in love, and dies in the same accident that takes her father. As a person who always wanted Chakotay and Janeway to get together, this incident perfectly gives the reason. She is afraid to get romantically involved with a crew member because of the nature of the job. This dynamic is seen between Picard and Nella Daren in TNG very well. Kathryn has learned the hard way that she can lose a person under her command and how it feels when you are in love with that person. In early Voyager, you can see she isolates herself from the crew and it takes time for her to get comfortable. And during Night she relapses to her old ways. This is the way I have always justified Janeway’s reluctance to have a romantic relationship during their time in the Delta Quadrant. By understanding her background, I have a lot of respect for that choice. Her relationship with Justin really shaped how she handles relationships and without the impact he had on her life, it actually makes her character weaker.

Owen Paris

Owen is Kathryn’s mentor. In Mosaic, they meet as he is reviewing her junior honors thesis advisor on massive compact halo objects. From here they gained a relationship built on respect and learning. It makes sense that, as he was her personal mentor, that she would be close with his family, and why she would seek out Tom as a person to bring with her to the Badlands mission. In the Autobiography of Kathryn Janeway, she does not meet him until she is on the Al-Batani. This doesn’t only weaken her relationship with Admiral Paris, but moreover weakens her relationship with Tom. If he was her superior officer, why would she develop such a ‘big sister’ mentality to Tom if she didn’t have as many opportunities to meet him?

Tuvok

Mosaic does not go too much in depth with Tuvok and Janeway’s relationship, but its sister novel Pathways does. In Pathways, Tuvok meets Janeway when he is an ensign under her command of the USS Bonestell. The Bonestell and the Billings, two ships that Janeway served on, tend to get confused a lot. Most sources have Janeway’s first command as the Voyager, Including Voyager itself - “It doesn't seem like my first command is shaping up the way I expected,” Janeway Shattered. The Autobiography of Kathryn Janeway has her and Tuvok meet on the Al-Batani. I actually really like the dynamic between them, as they grow to respect each other over a much longer period of time. I also like that, though Janeway climbs through the ranks, it does not change their relationship dynamic as she still relies on him and asks him advice as if they were equals. I think giving them a longer time to build their relationship. Also would like to note that Janeway and Tuvok also had a friendship with the original CMO of Voyager, Dr. Fitzgerald. I always wanted to know more about the Pre-Caretaker crew and I would have loved to see this dynamic and how the grief of losing a close personal friend in the Caretaker incident would impact them both.

Also I feel obligated to shout out the Janeway and Tuvok story in Star Trek Waypoint One-Shot. I need to get around to doing a series retrospective, but this short story I have not seen anyone talk about and I love it so much. Please read Waypoint. Okay next.

Other characters

Cheb - Janeway’s boyfriend in Mosaic. He was kind of an asshole and got her into trouble. He is not in the Autobiography of Kathryn Janeway and I see no problem with this.

Boothby - “[he is the] head groundskeeper at Starfleet Academy. When I was a cadet, he used to give me fresh roses for my quarters,” Janeway Revulsion. Boothby is not in Mosaic. In the Autobiography of Kathryn Janeway, it is explained that her mother loved to garden and this was something that Boothby did as a gradian figure to make her feel at home and destress. Makes sense.

Aisha - A childhood friend of Katheryn’s. Only in the Autobiography of Kathryn Janeway. Mosaic has this weird thing about highlighting the relationships with only the men in her life, so it is nice to see her have some other female friends.

Nexa - Katheryn’s roommate at the Academy. Only in the Autobiography of Kathryn Janeway. Nexa helps broaden Kathryn’s horizons by helping to learn about Exoliguisticts, first contact, and the Betazoid culture. Again nice to see her have other female friends.

Riker - Yes they go on a date in Mosaic. He is not mentioned in the Autobiography of Kathryn Janeway. I know he is a gag character but I still liked it.

-----------------------

Final Thoughts

A lot of characters were changed between these two novels. There is a lot to like and a lot to hate. I really like what the Autobiography of Kathryn Janeway did with characters like Tuvok and Gretchen Janeway. Other characters were not so lucky (Justin, sweetie I’m so sorry that they would erase you like that, oh my god). It’s a mixed bag, but one thing I need say is... why?

We have had a good thing going here with the established canon as is. Mosaic (and Pathways) is the foundation of which the last 25 years of fanworks and the relaunch novels are based on. Why change history when it is already written?

Always, would love to hear your thoughts and thank you for reading my novel of a post. I will see you in the full review.

#star trek #star trek voyager #kathryn janeway #janeway #voyager #voyager book club #star trek novel #the autobiography of kathryn janeway

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jjaeong · 3 years

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Rest Easy My Love, I’ll Always Be Your Favorite Girl.

Series: KPOP Girl Group: 이달의 소녀 (LOONA).

Pairing: Jung Jinsol & Orbit Female Reader.

Summary: Jung Jinsol had always loved her group’s fans, every single one of their supporters that she had met were all lovable—no matter if she was their favorite member or not. But among the several new faces she’d seen in their online meet & greets, a particular girl who Jinsol had always used to frequently see in their fan sign events had made the list for the meetup. In which Y/L/N Y/N was just like any other Orbit, living her life when she earns a scolding from her bias for not meeting up as much as they used to, along with Y/N receiving an unexpected gift with her signed copy of their album.

“Is that you Guppy? Ah, I can’t believe you’re trying to hide—I can see you clearly from way over here!”

You covered your face in embarrassment as the girl’s voice boomed through the speakers of the venue, with your body leaned to the side in attempt to conceal yourself further—though you could distinctly hear several fans beside you snickering and trying to call for the member’s attention. At this point, you could only wonder about what you’ve done in your past life to deserve such an oddly close relationship with your idol—along with the fact that she had never seemed to have changed with how she treated you since your second fan sign event.

But the idol didn’t seem too concerned about her interaction with you as she sat back down on her chair, placing her mic on the table with a grin set on her lips while fixing the blanket on her lap. You could only breathe in a relieved sigh when you sat back up to watch your favorite member fiddle with her mic, how she looked completely as if she belonged in the spot light—a soft smile on her lips as she scanned the crowd carefully and gave a few poses for the cameras that were directed at her along the way. The sight had always seemed to have strike a meaningful flashback to all of the other fan sign events you’ve met her in, but one particular fond memory would hit harder than the others—and it happens whenever you’d lock eyes with Jinsoul from your chair as you waited for your turn.

It was the first fan signing event you’ve attended after deciding that you had finally wanted to meet her in person.

A huge part of you wished that you had been there from the start, but you’ve only started to become their fan around Odd Eye Circle’s Mix & Match promotions—it wasn’t that late but still, you could’ve been there for her very first fan signing event. But the regretful thoughts were quick to wash away once you’ve entered the room, finding the girl sitting there in between Kim Lip and Choerry as she donned a vest in your favorite color—looking exactly the same in real life as in her music videos. And if that wasn’t enough to knock the breath right out of your lungs—she was even more ethereal once you were sat in front of her, a cheesy grin set on her lips as she leaned on the desk to scan your face thoughtfully.

“Hello! I’ve never seen you before.”

“You’re my favorite girl.”

And just like that, as much as the memory was special moment—it was also one of the most awkward encounters you had ever had in your life, with you blurting the words out as if you’ve only meant to say it in your head for it to only come right out of your mouth. You could still feel the blood rushing to your cheeks as Jinsoul sat in front of you, blinking while Choerry and Kim Lip turned to look at the two of you with the biggest smirks plastered across their lips.

“I see.. Alright then, who exactly am I writing for?” Jinsol popped her pen cap open, looking back down on your album with a smile still playing on her lips before she noticed that you weren’t replying—making her look up at your flushed features expectantly as you debated what you’d want her to write. Through your blushing state, you told her to just write the initials of your name which made her raise a brow but then deciding to just do it anyway before drawing an emoticon with it’s tongue sticking out—finishing the signature with a bunch of hearts around your initials before she looked up to find you just staring down thoughtfully at the album in her hands.

You didn’t even catch your idol’s endearing gaze set on your shy features even as you moved onto your time with Kim Lip, who seemed to be easier for you to talk to just like Choerry—but the girl kept teasing you which made you sit through your entire meeting all flustered and charmed at how beautiful she was inside and out. The first fan signing event went along with Jinsol’s gaze from your peripheral vision whenever you refused to look her straight in the eyes, and even as they left—she turned around to give you a shy wave which sent your heart summersaulting inside of you.

And with the second fan meeting, it was indeed the last confirmation you needed before choosing the girl as your favorite artist out of anyone out there.

“No, I’ve thought of a name for you—not that I think that it’s better than your initials but..” even before she could tell you what exact it was that she named you, Jinsoul quickly scribbled her chosen name for you under your initials that were written by Heejin. A satisfied grin set on her lips as she leaned back to stare at her art which made you lean over to find the word “구피” written on the cover with a small fish drawing at the end, making you tilt your head in confusion before looking back up at the beaming idol in puzzlement. The moment you’ve left the venue and sat in front of your computer, you quickly typed the name in the search bar to find it’s meaning—only to find that it was a fish, most commonly known to be the “Rainbow Fish”.

And also, one of the very few fish that you can have in the same aquarium as a betta fish.

Actually, it was the most optimal fish to be in the same space as a betta.

That night, you leaned back on your chair as you stared at the signed album in a completely dazed state—thinking about how Jinsoul didn’t just pick a simple nickname for you.

But your favorite girl gave you a pet name.

And now there you sat in LOONA’s nth fan meeting, still feeling the same exact nervousness from your first event as you watched the chair in front of Heejin slowly become unoccupied—the fan moving to meet Hyunjin as you were motioned over by their manager to occupy the recently vacated seat.

“Y/N! You’ve dyed your hair, it really suits you—ah, it’s your favorite color. Of course it’ll fit you.” Heejin didn’t even have to ask your name as she scribbled it down on the cover, making it a bit smaller—knowing that Jinsol would always somehow write her name for you at the end.

“Don’t you ever get tired of Jinsoul-unnie? Have you ever thought of going to our fan signs for another member—like me, maybe?” Hyunjin teased which made you squirm in your seat in no time and Heejin laughing loudly next to her, hitting her best friend with both hands while Hyunjin leaned over the table to stare at you in anticipation.

“Ah! I knew it was you! Your hair looks so pretty—I bet Jinsoul would love it too! But what about that post of yours, the one where you were trying to convince people to stream Hyunjin’s ‘Around You’ MV—how’d that go?” Haseul’s eyes twinkled as she remembered what you told her in the last event—after she asked you what you’ve been doing since the meeting before, to which you just scratched the back of your neck at before replying that you suppose only time will tell.

Yeojin stood from her spot to compare heights with you—which she always had done every fan sign after she had the idea that you grew taller every fan meeting—and with Vivi reminding you to bring extra layers on the next venue because she heard that the place had a history of a malfunctioning air conditioning system. You’ve barely finished speaking to Vivi when you heard a mic being tapped from the speakers, Jinsol’s low voice checking if her mic was on before she leaned over to peek over to you while you nodded along to Vivi’s gentle words.

“Y/N! Hurry up!”

Kim Lip cackled next to the older member as you side-eyed the impatient blonde who was now impatiently fiddling with her mic, turning to look at the fan that previously sat in front of her—seated in front of Choerry while the younger OEC member giggled at the pouting blonde. Jinsol had just finished speaking to the next fan that was right before you when she started to whine like a child that wanted your attention as you sat in front of Kim Lip, leaned over as the member reached over to pat your head once you told her you’ve finished the work you’ve mentioned before that you were stressing over.

“You’ve worked hard, our Y/N~”

“Our!? Hey! She's here for me!” Jinsol taunted Kim Lip who just smiled at you as if the needy member didn’t exist, to which you could only smile apologetically to the OEC Leader at before standing up from your seat to look at a smug looking Jinsoul who was now leaned back on her chair—arms crossed and a brow raised as she attempted to look intimidating after all the whining she had done previously.

“You dyed your hair without asking me first? And here I thought I was special.” you grinned at the girl before playing along, glancing down at the colored strands of your hair before humming and looking up in thought.

“Oh? It was spontaneous, I didn’t think you’d be this much against it. I could always dye it back if it bothers you that much..” Jinsol snorted before leaning on the desk to pop her pen cap open, all while keeping direct eye contact with you as she smirked.

“No, I just asked why you didn’t tell me before you had it done—I didn’t say that I didn’t like it.” you dryly laughed at her statement which made her break from the character she had seemed to be playing, making you reach over to push the album over to her so she could get her signature done—you were only interacting with borrowed time, after all. But Jinsol, as always didn’t let it get to her—but instead, she grabbed ahold of your wrist before you had pulled it back from the table. Quickly drawing a silhouette Guppy fish on the back of your hand and positioning her hand to start signing your album until a manager behind her tells her to let go of you—which she did but not before looking up to frown at the person and mumbling things under her breathe as you laughed.

“Oh, I went to the Ocean Park with a friend the other day and I got you something.” you rummaged through your bag that had kept different kinds of gifts for each member, remembering well enough to not go over the top after Jinsoul had teased that you’ve practically attended their fan signs more than they have—that it was enough to see you continuing to be a loyal fan since your first event—but you couldn’t help but not pick the gift up, considering that it wasn’t everyday that you’d visit an Ocean Park right?

And it was also as if a higher power had willed it, out of all the sea creatures in the gift shop—there was only one stock left of what you’ve picked up as a gift for the girl.

Jinsoul’s look of disapproval at your mention of a gift turned into a soft gaze at the sight of the little plush rainbow Guppy fish dangling in your hands as you beamed at her, the idol’s heart warmed at the thought of you being outside and just taking a moment to remember her in the midst of your everyday life. She then reached over to take it from your grasp just before you pulled another plush keychain—a more familiar type of fish in Jinsoul’s eyes, making the girl look at you expectantly as you eyed the two keychains.

“I didn’t know if you’d want the Guppy, or the Betta so I just got both of them. They’re yours—”

“Keep that one,” Jinsoul quickly snatched the Guppy keychain from your hands, a shy smile on her lips as she continued to look down at the accessory in hand—completely disregarding your stunned features as you held up the Betta keychain between you two, “I like my Guppy.”

“Ah.. Great, good to hear.” you dragged, watching Jinsoul lean back to look around for a manager before she sneaked the item in her coat pocket and met your eyes again, an appreciative look set on her features.

“You’ll be here again next time, right?” the blonde had always asked the question, at this point you wondered why she continued to ask after your meeting even though you’ve never missed a single one since your second one—but as you’ve continued to tell her that you will, every single time, you’ve realized that it was just the idol’s way of telling you that no matter what happened, no matter how big they’d get or where life leads you.

She’ll always be there, as your favorite member—until the next time you’d meet.

“Of course, Jinsoul. I promise to work hard again this week if you do the same.”

“I promise.”

And so the fan meeting had ended, the girls had directed warm smiles and waves at the crowd—making a point to find you in your seat and mouth a quick goodbye just before Jinsoul smiled at you, disappearing into the exit as the staff started directing how everyone would leave the venue.

What you didn’t expect however, was that fan meeting being the final face-to-face meet & greet you’re going to experience with the girls, the anguish that had you sulking for weeks after failing to attend the last event they had due to a sudden change of schedules in your classes—your professor announced that you’ll be having a test at the time of the meet & greet—and your part time work in a local coffee shop had also needed your assistance that day. It was practically the busiest day you’ve ever had since your routine of going to LOONA’s events, the day being something that you wish had never come to but what would you have done? The coffee shop was your only way of saving up money for the seats—and you were so close to finishing your degree in Humanities, it was just one day right? What could possibly go wrong?

A sudden influx with the case of a particular disease that had caused a pandemic to happen.

That’s what happened.

It was all downhill from there, you were balancing your university life in the cyberspace from your bed room condominium—all while feeling the burden of the sales dropping at the coffee shop you were working in which might put you in the list of workers they’d lay off. The situation that had unfolded before you had your mental state plummeting in no time, it was as if you were sitting on the edge of the cliff as you’ve lived through yet another day of getting up from your bed—turning on your computer, attending classes, leaving for work.. It was all robotic, and you absolutely despised it.

A few months had passed with you just trying to adjust to the circumstances, without thinking about anything else—at your own pace, as they’d like to call it—you started communicating with your friends again, life seemed to have became a bit brighter than how it was just before the pandemic had happened.

It wasn’t the best, but you could at least bear it better than the first few months.

You were writing down notes one night and your hand had managed to knock over a mug that you’ve filled with your pens, the contents spilling on your carpet to which had you quickly reaching over to collect the pens—but not before your eyes connected with a familiar keychain dangling from the zipper of your guitar bag. Looking up to your shelf and finding the several LOONA albums that had been displayed on it—the Orbit light stick, the photocard file folder, the Jinsoul album sat in full view next to the 12:00 album you still bought even if you never listened to it or tuned in with them at all.

You were in so much pain yet you still managed to buy the merchandise for when you were ready to come back.

But the Betta keychain was enough for you to go to their website and give the online meet & greet a shot.

“Woah! Look who it is—ah Jinsoul-unnie is going to be so surprised.. How have you been Y/N? Where have you been!?” Heejin lowered her voice when she spoke your name, you sighed before telling her things didn’t go as well as you’d hope but it all paid off as you were finally back on track.

“..Really, it sucks that this had to happen but—what can we do right? As long as we’re here, we still have a chance of making up for the time we’ve spent alone instead of making great memories with everyone..” Olivia Hye gave you a reassuring smile as you nodded to her words in understanding.

“Give me your address—I’ll sneak you a slice of Heejin’s Cheesecake when she makes some again. It’s really tasty! I really couldn’t stop myself..” you laughed at Hyunjin’s sulking expression on the screen.

“Cookie Run! Cookie Run!” Gowon started chanting as you looked at her in confusion, making the girl burst out into a fit of giggles before she passed the phone to Haseul who practically shrieked at sight of you on the screen. You’ve passed through the surprised members until finally being handed onto your favorite member who was just the second to the last member you were going to interact with—to which Jinsoul didn’t seem to have seen your face the first time as she was plugging her earphone through the headphone jack until she had finished, eyes widening before breaking into a full smile but then quickly masking it with a scowl.

“Hey! You think you’re so brave to come here after I haven’t seen you in months!? What do you think you’re doing, huh Y/N!?” Jinsoul shouted through her receiver, making you pull one of your earplugs out as you winced before giving the girl a sheepish smile.

“Sorry, I know. I know it’s been a while—it’s just..” you trailed off, trying to think of a way to properly explain the situation you were in without trying to make it sound as if you’re guilt-tripping the girl for shouting at you. The now dark-haired girl didn’t take a second before she shook her head, waving it in front of her dismissively as if hinting that she was just teasing.

“I know, this pandemic is the worst.”

“Yeah but I still think I could’ve at least tried to listen to your new album—”

“Y/N, you can listen to that anytime. The girls and I will always be here once you feel like you’re comfortable again. It wouldn’t make you any less of a fan if you take time for yourself, you know?” you frowned at the idol’s words as she gave you a dorky smile and pulled the camera in a close angle to her face, making you crack a smile and the girl giggle.

“But I heard that Heejin’s arms are the hot topic in our Voice performances these days, something about when they make the tree pose while Yves is dancing I think.”

“Oh? I wonder what that’s about.”

“And Hyunjin wearing her Apple watch to our stage—”

“No, she didn’t..” you gasped as Jinsoul laughed before the idol sighed, staring at you on the screen—almost as if longingly—until her eyes lit up and she pointed a finger to her hair.

“I also got my hair dyed!”

“I wouldn’t have guessed!”

“Y/N!” Jinsoul pouted as you laughed, resting your chin on the palm of you hand as you hummed—actually letting the black shade sink in.

“Not bad..” you dryly complimented the idol, teasing her further which made her groan.

“I’m your favorite!”

“You are, and I was kidding—of course you look pretty, you always have.” you could hear Kim Lip telling Jinsoul that it was her turn which made the girl panic, looking down at your photo album and writing down quickly.

“I missed you, just come back when you feel like yourself again—alright Y/N?” Jinsoul practically started rapping, slamming her pen on the desk as she finished signing over her picture and pulling the camera closer to show you the usual Guppy she’d drawn over your name—and now next to hers this time—before directing the camera back to her pointed look.

“Don’t stress over it! Work hard but always make sure to check up on yourself—take care of yourself,” Kim Lip seemed to have grabbed ahold of her arm as the phone shook in her hold, a smile breaking on Jinsoul’s lips as she resisted the members hold and struggled to keep the phone in her hand, “I love you! I’ll always be your favorite girl! See you later, my Guppy!”

As she passed the device to Kim Lip, you and the member just burst into a fit of laughter practically half of the time you were supposed to be talking—but you couldn’t help it as Jinsoul kept leaning over to tell you that she loved you throughout the final member’s meeting. Once the meet & greet had ended, you felt the heavy weight that had set on you before the meeting vanish—the thought of the possibility that the older girl wouldn’t have treated you just as she had always did scared you so much that you started sobbing silently to yourself in your empty room, clutching the Betta keychain in hand while hugging your knees against your chest.

After the meeting, you scrambled to grab one of the few versions of the 12:00 album and before you know it—you started bawling your eyes out once Universe started playing through your speakers.

“Make it happen to you, make it happen to you.”

The days ahead seemed brighter after the online event, with you walking home a few weeks after—the album playing on repeat but you’ve also shuffled it some time to their entire discography—when you were called by the receptionist in the lobby for a package, which you could only hope was from the meet & greet a few weeks ago. So you hurried to get into your room to unpack the box and open it to find out that it was indeed the photo album from the online event—on top of another box with a striking shade of blue. The idea of it being from your idol made your hands shake as you reached over to retrieve it, finding it odd how it seemed to be light in weight but also had a hefty amount to it.

Pulling off it’s lid, you were greeted by a see-through box of what seemed to be small LEGO bricks with a manual underneath it, a tiny crocheted red bear, all on top of a brown wool plaid scarf and a baby blue sweater. You looked around the box to find anything else attached to it—and soon enough you found yourself reaching under the box to grab a blue envelope from under the container, opening it and unfolding the paper for your insides to flutter just as it used to before the fall of your mental state.

“Dear Y/N (My Guppy),

I’m sneaking these extra things in hopes that the staff won’t notice, but I thought you’d like them because while I was going through the same months as you were—these were the things that had brought me a sense of comfort, it took my mind off things and I thought that maybe it’ll work for you too!

Because Y/N had always seemed to have me on her mind in days when we don’t see each other—just as she had always been in mine! You can count on that!

Anyway, the LEGO set turns into an orange tabby cat (like in Hyunjin’s music video ㅋㅋ), the crocheted bear was made by me (you should also try crocheting, it takes some time to get used to it though), and the baby blue sweater is just one of mine. Haseul seemed to have caught up to my plan and told me to give you the wool scarf that matched her shirt? I don’t really know, she must want to match something with you too after she asked me about your keychain on my bag once.

But Y/N! You’ve been taking care of yourself lately, right? Just like I told you to? I just hope this simple gesture would brighten your day, because I am still your favorite girl right?

Ah, Y/N, I don’t know what else to say. I always want to tell you so many things but our time had always been so short, and now that I have the opportunity to write it down..

I missed you.

And I love you.

I’ll keep being the Jinsoul that Y/N looks up to dearly because I know that one day, we’ll see each other again and we can continue with our jokes and ask about how our weeks had been (maybe I should start asking our manager if I can just give you a reserved ticket every time). So you take really good care of yourself until then, alright? I’ll be waiting, Y/N, until we finally meet again.

No matter how long it’ll take, okay?

Rest easy, my love.

I’ll always be your favorite girl.

From,

Jung Jinsol (Your Betta)."

An extra GIF because I love how Jinsoul loves us and I live for Kim Lip's embarrassed reactions every time anything remotely awkward happens in front of her lmao. And yes you've read through this correctly—it's a one shot~

I've basically done so many things for the past few days, I think it's what people call overstimulating? But as that was happening, those allega—tors, yes the alligators with 10 and 2. I hate how we got those after we literally were celebrating over the Haseul pic and Orbit ring message.

(I also had another writer's block moment with The Heiress but don't worry, I can see their characters again after listening to my inspo music for that series—which got me side tracked when it got to a brighter tone song and made me write this Jinsoul one shot for practice again.)

And I thought of a cute Choerry plot~

Music really gets you in a mood.

But the color correction post is coming up after this—I just want you guys to have a feel of how I envision the scenes, it might be just a bit of light tweaking and etcetera but it really does make a difference in triggering my writing mood.

Oh and if you're wondering if I'll ever make a girlfriend type oneshot/series—even I am as well, I like the idea that you could think that in the end you'll end up together or if you've been together from the start.. The underlying meanings fascinate me so much I do not have words for it.

I'm easing into this again, alright I'm going to go now but I'll be back with more stuff.

..If I don't get pulled into finishing my Little Nightmares DLC before starting on the second one.

Also, yes that was me plugging Hyunjin's MV because I love her and I love her underrated solo.

Laters,

JJ.

>ovc: loonatheworld (171212)

https://youtu.be/eUeFUBy40ow

undefined

youtube

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finalfantasyix · 3 years

Photo

Meet The Team Working On A Final Fantasy 9 Remake You’ll Never Get To Play

Final Fantasy 9: Memoria Project is a fan homage like nothing we've ever seen before. “It is no secret that fan projects get shut down all the time,” Dan Eder tells us about Final Fantasy 9: Memoria Project, a fan-driven love letter to the classic JRPG. It isn’t aiming to be a playable remake of the epic adventure though - instead, it’s an aesthetic homage to its timeless world and characters.

It’s somewhat anomalous in the world of community creations, but Eder wants to use this distinct identity to craft something truly special, even if many obstacles stand in the way of making it a reality. But the team keeps moving forward: “Without a doubt, some of the most frequent comments we get from naysayers is ‘have fun with it while it lasts’ or ‘cease and desist incoming’”, Eder explains. “People are understandably skeptical of the longevity potential of yet another passion project. The key difference is that, unlike those projects, Memoria is essentially an elaborate piece of fan art, nothing more - it will have no actual gameplay, will never be released to the public, and is nothing more than a ‘what-if’ scenario. [It’s] no different from any other fan-made piece of artwork. We have never, and will never, make a single dollar out of this project, and are basically doing this for the personal gratification of the fans.”

The genesis of Memoria Project dates all the way back to Eder’s younger years, with dreams of a potential FF9 remake entering his imagination soon after the original game’s launch. That’s no great surprise - millions still regard Final Fantasy 9 as the series’ finest hour. “While it's true that the project really started to pick up steam a few months ago, it wouldn't be a stretch to say I've been planning it since high school,” Eder explains. “I remember scribbling ‘FF9 remake’ on my notepad during classes and writing imaginary new features and battle system mechanics, starting online petitions to remake FF9 for the PS2, sketching drawings depicting scenes from the ‘FF9 sequel’ and whatnot. I could confidently say that my life would probably have been completely different had my older brother not borrowed this game from his friend in the summer of 2000.

“As a non-native English speaker who had never played an RPG up until that point, my first playthrough was a challenging experience to say the least, and I can honestly say that I understood literally nothing of what was going on the first time I finished the game (how I even managed to beat it is a mystery in and of itself). It didn't really matter to me though, since I was absolutely enamored with the incredible cast of characters, jaw-dropping FMV sequences, mesmerizing music, thrilling gameplay, and just the overall atmosphere and charm it exuded at every step. My unconditional love for this game persisted throughout my entire childhood and adult life, and it is one of the central reasons why I chose to become a 3D character artist in the video game industry. In short, this project is my way of thanking this game for everything it has done for me over the past 21 years.”

Eder’s passion for this game can be found across several industry professionals who grew up with games like this and wanted to replicate them, or create something entirely unique to live up to their brilliance. This is very much how Memoria Project found its feet, beginning life as a trivial side activity before blossoming into something infinitely more ambitious. It still has a long way to go, but there’s little urgency to reach the finish line, so the team can take their time and just enjoy the nostalgic indulgence of it all.

“Memoria actually started unofficially as a side project when I reached out to Colin Valek [of] Sucker Punch Studios in early 2020 after I came across his fanart of an environment from FF7,” Eder says. “I had already modeled Princess Garnet, and thought it could be a fun idea to combine our talents to reimagine the opening area of Alexandria. Initially, it was progressing at a snail's pace - we were slowly chipping away at it for over a year without making a lot of progress. While Colin continued modeling the buildings, I created another character - Vivi.”

This glacial pace received a resurgence of sorts in January when the Alexandria scene was finally complete, with Eder and company finally being able to see how much potential the project had if it was opened up to a larger range of creators. “When I posted that WIP screenshot, the response from fellow FF fans was overwhelmingly positive, more than we could have imagined,” Eder remembers. “Very quickly, other people from the gaming industry started reaching out - environment artists, animators, riggers, concept artists. That's when I decided to turn this side project into a full-fledged modern reimagining of the original game, while always making sure to emphasize the fact that this is a non-playable proof-of-concept, since we never have any intention of doing anything to violate Square Enix's copyright. Four months after officially announcing the project, we've grown from a couple of FF fanboys to a huge team of over 20 industry veterans working collaboratively to honor this masterpiece, fueled by our love and adoration for the source material.”

Now, the project has over 20 developers from Sucker Punch, Ubisoft, Rare, Unbroken Studios, and more all diving into this labour of love in their spare time, with composers and voice actors also contributing their talents to help make this glimpse into the world of Final Fantasy 9 worth celebrating. But Eder is aware of being overly enthusiastic, knowing that fan projects like this often doom themselves by undertaking something that isn’t feasible with so few resources.

“One of the most common traps for these kinds of fan projects is being overly ambitious,” Eder says. “Since all of us are actively working in the video game industry, we understand the importance of milestones, short term goals, and taking things one step at a time. For now, we are focusing our efforts on the opening sequence of the game, which mainly revolves around Vivi and his exploration of Alexandria. Where we go from here is still being discussed, but one thing I can say for sure is that Vivi will not be the only main character we're planning to include.” I’m told that Memoria is aiming to look indistinguishable - at least from a graphics perspective - from something you’d see in a triple-A blockbuster, and it seems the team has the pedigree to back that claim up.

Visuals are the entire point after all, since turning this project into a playable piece of media would require far more resources to create. By narrowing its focus, Memoria is able to deliver something special while also hopefully avoiding the ire of Square Enix. “The fact that this is a non-playable project definitely makes it easier for us to tailor the experience in a way that would truly allow the audience to be fully immersed in the world without having to worry about technical limitations,” Eder tells me. “Creating actual functional gameplay is a completely different ball game, one that we never had any intention of even discussing given the copyright limitations. This gives us a lot of leeway with how we are going to portray the world of Gaia in terms of character interaction, camera movement, [and] scene transitions. We have a lot of cool plans for the near future - please look forward to it!”

As for the sad truth of fan projects like this often being wiped from existence by publishers throwing out cease and desist letters, Eder is confident that Memoria occupies a niche where this won’t happen. It’s not a commercial or even playable product - it’s a piece of fan art, albeit an endlessly elaborate one. If the tides were to change, Eder believes companies should welcome the enthusiasm for experiences like this.

“If I were to be completely honest, I think it could be a potentially brilliant decision by Square Enix to do something wildly unexpected and invest in a project like this,” Eder states. “There's a considerable amount of hype, talent, motivation, and pure, unadulterated passion behind it. It's not something I would expect, but I think it could be incredibly helpful in regaining some of the trust and reverence that this legendary company was known for during its golden years.”

(source)

#final fantasy ix #memoria project #final fantasy 9 #ffix: memoria project #article #news #interview #long post #very long post!

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defdaily · 3 years

Text

GQ Korea Magazine June 2021 issue featuring JAY B: in transition

To prove himself, JAY B is constantly changing. Because he has so much to show.

Translated by defdaily

Your greeting from the video earlier was new. You said “This is GOT7’s JAY B and H1GHR MUSIC’s JAY B.” After GOT7 parted ways with JYP Entertainment, you told fans that you were a freelancer and I guess you’ve found your spot.

Yes. It has not been announced officially yet but I’m H1GHR MUSIC’s JAY B. I told fans I was a freelancer as a joke. I like communicating with fans as if we’re friends. But I was looking for a company at that time too.

How did you make your decision?

Of course I thought about it a lot. I talked with various companies, but when considering the freedom and synergy, I felt like H1GHR MUSIC fit me well. That seemed like the best decision.

What kind of synergy and effect are you looking forward to?

I don’t think “I’m definitely hip-hop!” just because I joined a hip-hop label. I think that through the label I can show R&B, dance and pop genres too. I want to attempt different things without any boundaries.

What did you talk about with H1GHR MUSIC’s CEO Jay Park?

From my point of view, it’s a new challenge so I was a little anxious. But Jay Bum hyung’s thoughts were similar to mine and said I could do music comfortably and didn’t wish for any certain colour, because if you keep focusing on one thing, you’ll slowly be locked in it, and said it’s good to try out different things. That’s what he told me.

Will this period of time divide JAY B of the past and future?

Of course it will. If previously it was a situation where I mainly received benefits from the company, now that I have the autonomy, I feel that I should do things myself and I grew a deeper sense of responsibility in that way. I think there’s a need to be more proactive. And I plan on prudently moving forward one step at a time with an appropriate amount of nervousness. Because this is the process of starting from the beginning, I am very careful about every decision.

What factors influenced your decision the most?

Feeling/intuition. I have a feeling of whether I think I should do something or not.

It feels like you have a pretty good sense of the direction you want to move forward in.

I asked Jay Bum hyung why he recruited me and he said that skills were of course a factor but that I seemed like I would work hard consistently. It’s a given to be working hard on your own things but the most important thing is consistency. I've been doing that for a long time, and I'll continue to do what I've been doing.

Do you have any values that you’ve held on for a long time?

I’ve always thought that it’s important to never forget the things that I’ve done and have been doing. I debuted as GOT7. I cannot just suddenly say “I’m not an idol,” and I do not want to disappoint the fans. I’m very thankful. While promoting as part of GOT7, I never forgot the fact that I started as a b-boy at first and that I’m a person who likes hip-hop.

People’s expectations are high because of GOT7’s achievements. On one hand, there must be people viewing you thinking ‘let's see how well it could go.’

I am mindful of that. But it’s just GOT7 JB that was that big, JAY B as an individual isn’t that great. To be honest, sometimes I think that I’m nothing. If you ask people my age which idols they know, even if many people know about GOT7, they might not know me very well. It’s important to be acknowledged for my music but I feel like I have to get my name out there first. There is someone called GOT7’s JAY B, H1GHR MUSIC’s JAY B. I feel like this is just the beginning for me.

It sounds like you are at a point where you feel the need to prove yourself. Do you not worry that fans might not be accepting if you do what you like and want to do?

Rather than being worried, I see it as something that could happen. For example, I could use profanity or harsh expressions if I feel that they’re needed for better musical completion. I can’t help it if some fans who used to like me as an idol hear that and turn their backs. I also don’t want to give up or lose my own standards because of such reactions.

I see you're very determined to make creations of your own. I heard that you're going to release a new song soon. How is it?

The title is Switch It Up. Should I say it’s close to Hip-Hop Dance? It’s a different style from what I have been making consistently under the name Def. You could say it is a little similar to the solo songs I’ve included in GOT7 albums before. I focused on the purpose of informing the public and the music scene that “I think I will do this sort of music in the future." I’m also sending a message to fans saying that I’ll be starting to promote actively again so look forward to it.

I'm curious. Is there any image that came to mind while working on it?

A sexy image. If I use Def. to freely express my personal stories in any genre, I made a distinction that JAY B does cool and sexy music. Regardless, they are both me, but JAY B is more like a fictional character who can show various sides of me.

What do you think are your strengths as an artist?

There is no such thing. I never thought that an artist should be a certain type of way. I think an artist is one who lives the same life as others, but feels differently, and knows how to express that well. As a matter of fact, anyone can do that. Even everyday office workers, when their stress piles and piles and they scribble down their emotions then toss the paper out, I think that can be a way of art too.

I like that. In any form, what do you want to talk about the most now?

That’s what I’m contemplating a lot right now. I think I’ve been pouring out too much. When writing songs, making the melody or arranging the music isn’t that hard but I don’t know what to write about. The same goes for coming up with titles too. No matter how hard I try to come up with an idea, I can’t think of one. I just think, “ I guess it'll just come out gradually.”

Not as JAY B but as Lim Jaebeom, what have you been thinking about or trying to do?

I try to think positively.

Ah not long ago, we saw you posted on your Instagram “Let’s try to think positively.”

I had quite a lot of worries and a negative mindset. A lot of people may live with unnecessary worries but I’m a little worse. I guess it’s my nature. So I try my best to relax my heart/mind and say “it’s good,” “everything will be okay.”

In introspection, what is something that you are most satisfied with?

That’s hard. No matter how hard I think about it, I feel like there's nothing I like about myself at the moment.

Why? Did something change?

No, it’s not that. Even with one thing, one day you could like it and another day you could dislike it. It’s natural to change your mind. So when I speak, I often use the terms “always” and “at the moment.” Anyways, it’s not that I think that my current self is completely bad, but I’m not satisfied to the point where I would go “wow.”

Then, among the various images that you embody, which do you feel is the piece of clothing that fits perfectly?

I think naturally, the clothing of the name Lim Jaebeom is the most natural and comfortable. Because I’ve got a good hold of the side that is most like me, there can exist Def., JAY B of GOT7 and JAY B of H1GHR MUSIC. Oh, I could explain it like this. If Lim Jaebeom is the earth, just as there exists oceans, mountains, and cities within it, there are various sides of myself that are making up my life.

What will happen to GOT7 in the future?

We probably will not be able to promote as actively as before, but the members and I are trying our best to do anything. I often look up and watch videos of when we were promoting and I miss the GOT7 from those days. The overflowing passion and energy as well. Looking back, it was really fun. It's similar to the feeling of reminiscing about school days.

What did you gain personally from the past 7 years promoting as GOT7?

Should I say, I think I’ve gained expertise? People around me say I’ve become much more relaxed now. But I still get nervous. I was nervous even before today’s shoot. But in turn, I’ve gained ways to overcome the nerves. I guess that comes to show that I’ve become experienced

What kind of person does Lim Jaebeom want to be?

I wish I could be endlessly kind and do only good things, but in reality, that’s impossible. As you live you could unintentionally make mistakes and cause disappointment. Nevertheless, I definitely do not want to become a shrewd person, I despise being scheming and fooling people. I don’t want to be that kind of person and neither do I want to be on the receiving end. But it’s still a bit of a mystery if it’s okay to say "I'm going to be this kind of person." Because as I mentioned before, my current feelings and thoughts change frequently just as trends do.

I guess those words right there can change too.

That’s right. That's why I'm cautious about doing interviews. If I talk about something, there will be articles pouring out that say JAY B said this and JAY B said that. Although we’re doing an interview today like this, if I was asked the same question tomorrow, I could have a different response.

How should we wrap up this interview for you to sleep soundly?

This was the story of Lim Jaebeom on May 4th, 2021. I think this will be okay.

Translated by defdaily.

#def.#jaebeom #defdaily #lim jaebeom #defdaily:trans #got7 #got7 jb #interviewtrans #jay b

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joezworld · 3 years

Note

📁

Specifically, any headcanons of the Sodor Engines interacting with the internet, or the internet in general?

For some reason, I’d imagine that podcasts and the like are popular among vehicles in general.

That is a question that I've been working on for some time - because I'm workshopping my own Tornado headcanon (and boy oh boy does she use the internet a lot) - but I have some ideas for the Sodor engines as well:

Henry is probably the most "plugged in" engine on the island, weirdly enough. One of his drivers gave him an iPod back in the early 2000s, and kindly preloaded it with a bunch of torrented music.

BTW, that works because all the engines are now equipped with automatic train warning systems, and the little on-board computer has a USB port - as a nice side effect it allows music players to work with the engines in the same way as bone-conducting headphones do. The computer also acts as some kind of computer interface, which I am not going to explain how that works because Jesus Christ I don’t know how it does either.

Henry has managed to upgrade his iPod a few times since thanks to hand-me-down units from NWR staff, so he eventually got his buffers on a wifi-enabled iPod Touch and now downloads new music from the station wifi. He does listen to podcasts, but as every other engine will tell you, you could show Henry ten thousand new and exciting songs from the best artists in the world, and his top ten played songs are still going to be Genesis, Phil Collins, and Yes. Bear considers it a win that he managed to convince Henry to regularly listen to Rush after a mere twenty years of convincing.

Mavis and Daisy listen to a very interesting program called The News, because as stated elsewhere, they invest a shitload of money and need to be on top of things. Thomas and Percy wish that Daisy would use headphones or something similar to that, instead of listening to Bloomberg TV at loud volumes in the middle of the night. Toby frankly doesn’t mind, as it’s very nice to be kept up-to-date on the outside world.

In a move that surprises no-one, Bill and Ben have a podcast where they talk about whatever they think about at that moment - usually horse-racing, investing, and clay mining. As such, they have a wide audience, almost none of whom know that they’re that Bill and Ben, as their podcast is audio-only.

In an also unsurprising move, Edward and BoCo have been made very much aware that Bill and Ben have a podcast, but are still unsure as to what the hell a podcast is, despite being frequent guests on it.

Of the main line diesels, only Bear has shown any real interest in the internet, and was immediately put in charge of the Amazon Alexa when a unit was installed in the diesel shed. He also has an iPod that he got for Christmas a few years back. (The NWR has a very good personal electronics recycling program called give it to Henry, he’ll make use it.)

Bear does listen to podcasts as well as music, but his choices are so insufferably boring that even Henry refuses to listen to them. (I don’t really listen to podcasts - despite making one - so insert the most boring podcast you can think of here.)

As for other internet uses...

Gordon is very up-to-date on the newest social media trends - somehow - but only really cares when he is involved. He won’t admit it, but he’s been trying to figure out how to work a camera/selfie stick for some time so he can start up his own Instagram account. So far he has been unsuccessful, but one day he will manage it.

James has had an ongoing feud with his own Wikipedia page for about a decade now. The article sourced most of its information about his construction off of some out-of-print book about the L&Y. The book in question is accurate about James’ class, but not James himself - as he was a prototype engine. There’s no other primary sources available, so the very dedicated Wikipedia mod who created the page won’t change it - no matter how much James complains that he was there! He knows what happened!

Every now and again a TTTE fan blog/tumblr will make a post about hypothetical “ships” of the Sodor engines. Most of the time it’s shipping the core characters like Gordon and Henry, much to Gordon’s bafflement and Henry’s amusement!

Only one blog (a ttte fan tumblr by the curious name of @mean-scarlet-deceiver ) has gotten it right. Henry actually reached out to congratulate this blogger, but was unfortunately mistaken for a very dedicated roleplay account.

James is very annoyed by these blogs, as they have never once correctly guessed who he is “shipped” with! He has tried several times to be seen in public with Delta, but these events have never gone as planned - the “best” instance is when Edward rolled by at exactly the wrong moment, leading to months of speculation that JamesxEdward was the ship to look out for!

Thomas, being a generally oblivious sort of engine, was totally unaware of the online fan community around the TV show until he started getting actively harassed by vloggers and Instagrammers in the early 2010s. He’s fine with it now, but it was a deeply unusual experience for most of 2012.

Toby has developed an unexpectedly popular following on social media following his collab with Stormzy. His official twitter is huge now, with over a million followers, even if he has no idea what to do with it. He posts rarely, but usually manages to make an incredible post when he does.

No-one is sure who told Oliver what a “fan-production” is, but if you manage to get ahold of him for any period of time and ask him nicely, he will lend his voice to your TTTE fan-project, so long as it isn’t about [INSERT TERRIBLE SOCIAL/POLITICAL VIEW(S) HERE]. This means that he has 100% voiced dramatic readings of NSFW Fanfics before, which is always an absolute riot to spring on people unannounced.

There is a series of slice-of-life TTTE fanfics on Ao3 that have been written with such accuracy and innate railway knowledge that people are sure it was written by a Sodor engine, but nobody knows which one.

The Culdee Fell Railway has very active Instagram, Twitter and YouTube accounts, with all of the engines and coaches showing up regularly. It’s about the closest any of the railways on Sodor have come to what those outside the UK would call “normal locomotive social media”.

The Skarloey Railway has social media accounts too, but they don’t really feature the engines in any meaningful way, instead being used as a normal service announcements page.

The SR is a real working railway that doesn’t rely on tourism money as much as the others do, so they get a bit of a pass here.

The Arlesdale Railway has Twitter and YouTube, which didn’t usually get a lot of hits until 2020, when Ivan and Amanda Farrier started badgering the staff to make some videos just to alleviate some boredom. So far the most popular videos on the channel are a front-mounted camera video of the entire line slow-tv style, Bert explaining how steam engines work, and a video of Mike complaining about Justin Bieber for a solid half-hour.

That’s about it as far as Sodor goes, but before we’re done, I want to take a moment to talk about Tornado, because I have some fun ideas for her...

First of all, we need to establish that Tornado is very young. Her construction only started in late 90′s, and she was steamed to life in 2000, putting her firmly into the “Zoomer” category. Add in the fact that she was built by a bunch of old men who didn’t really know how to treat a new engine, and she was raised much more like a human than a locomotive - I’ll get to this much more in the proper Tornado Headcanon post, but what this means here is that when social media started being a thing in the mid-to-late 2000′s, the people at the A1 Trust decided that they needed a young person to run things like Twitter, Facebook, and Myspace... and, well, Tornado was the youngest person in the trust by a large margin.

I should state here that in the rest of the world, locomotives are on the internet at roughly the same level as humans are, so there’s plenty of equipment to connect a phone/computer/camera to an engine - being English, the A1 Trust didn’t know how common it was, but they managed to get it up and running just the same.

So Tornado has very quickly become attuned to the internet, just like any other teenager would. (yes, let’s let that settle into our minds for a moment - Tornado is barely old enough to drink in the US!) Quite naturally that means that she knows social media inside and out, and is actually quite a proficient social media manager for the trust, managing all of their social pages. More than one person who has complained about the trust on twitter has unknowingly been complaining to Tornado herself!

“On the internet, nobody knows that you’re a dog Engine”.

Tornado has her own personal social media accounts too, but most/all of the time she gets mistaken for a very dedicated role-player, as the general perception of British Locomotives is that they don’t tweet. This has resulted in some amazing reactions from podcast hosts (because, as you might expect, Tornado is very knowledgeable about steam traction in the 21st century, and tweets about it often, so train podcasts want to talk to her) when she gets invited onto video calls, turns on her webcam, and is met with screams from people who suddenly realize that her profile picture is accurate.

By far the best instance of this is when she was invited onto a video call with a railfan podcast. She was at the NRM at the time and managed to convince them to let her use their Skype setup. A wide-angle lens was needed because she was on the turntable in the Great Hall, so that podcast quickly got sidetracked when her webcam was turned on and revealed Tornado, with Mallard, Evening Star, City of Truro, and Green Arrow visible behind her. Whatever the original topic was quickly got thrown out in favor of a 2-hour Q&A with some of the most famous engines in the UK.

#ask response #the internet #ttte thomas #ttte toby #ttte bill and ben #ttte gordon #ttte daisy #ttte mavis #ttte henry #ttte bear #ttte oliver #tornado #nrm #trains using the internet #ttte #sodor #sodor shenangians #the formatting on this one is super fucked up and i can't figure out how to fix it - sorry

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kosmosguk · 4 years

Text

sasaeng yan. jungkook x reader; drabble

warnings: yandere themes, mentions of violence, obsession, sasaeng behavior, stalking

a/n: coming to the end of the school year always hits diff, so hopefully that means I can post more frequently. thanks for being patient with my infrequent posting AND for the 1.5k followers we’ve hit. I never thought this acc would grow to that point so I’m in TEARS at how much ily <3

Jungkook couldn’t stop looking at you from his spot near the front of the fansign line. In the midst of all these wannabe artists, you were a diamond in the rough. Sweet, kind, and gentle; Jungkook was more certain than anything else in his life that you were better than the rest. And you were here, real and in the flesh, and looking even more beautiful than you did on screen.

He barely glanced at your other band members as he passed them through on his way to you, fighting a wave of nausea as they touched his album and signed on the back what he saw as crude, sloppy signatures. He could practically taste the bitterness of the hours of time he would waste later trying to wipe the ink of their pens off his album. He was reserving the front of the album for your signature only, for your touch only.

It felt like forever before he reached you, but the time spent on his way to you was worth it. You were worth it. Everything he had done to prepare for this fateful encounter had been worth it.

‘‘Hi! What’s your name?” you cutely smiled at him, looking breathtakingly gorgeous in the soft pastel colors of your group’s new concept. Jungkook could feel the heat on his cheeks, reddening his skin as he forced himself to meet your pretty eyes.

‘‘Jung...,” he stammered out before clearing his throat, nervously pushing the album onto the table before you,” Jungkook. Sorry, I’m just so nervous at how pretty you are in person.”

You paused for a second, flustered at the compliment the seemingly shy fan in front of you just spoke before shaking your head and grinning widely. Despite all the time that you had spent as an idol, compliments from your fans always managed to throw you off and fluster you, especially since they were more rare due to you being one of the less popular members of your group. ‘’That’s so sweet of you. Thank you for being a fan of my group, Jungkook-ah!’’

You called his name. You said his name in such a familiar way. You knew who he was. Jungkook’s heart nearly stopped in his chest as he watched you take out a thin pink marker and uncap the marker.

‘‘Where should I sign?” you poised the pen over the album, looking at him expectantly for an answer.

Jungkook’s index finger shook and trembled as he eagerly lowered it to the very center of the album’s front cover. ‘’Here.’’

Your smile seemed to grow even bigger, like flowers blooming on a warm spring day, as you swirled your marker over the cover, leaving pretty curved letters that formed your name in the marker’s wake. When you lifted the marker off the album cover, your name had been permanently etched into the cover. Jungkook let out a shaky exhale at the sight, his ears tinging red in anticipation as he placed a small gift box in front of you.

‘‘Oh? Is this a gift for me, Jungkook-ah?” You asked him, reaching out and opening the gift in smooth, gentle movements after he had nodded quickly in response, unable to respond properly. Positioned in pristine white tissue paper was a single cellphone charm of a bunny holding a pretty pink gem in the shape of a carrot.

‘‘This is super cute; thank you so much for your generosity!” you pulled out your cellphone and clasped the cellphone charm onto your case, showing it off to him proudly. Jungkook was practically vibrating in happiness. You had accepted his gift, after all; didn’t this mean that you acknowledged and accepted him?

You poised your hand out for him to take, a common sign that it was him to move onward from his spot in front of you to the next member. Jungkook didn’t want to go. He wanted to stay in front of your forever, inhaling your subtle sweet scent and looking into your starry eyes. But if he stayed then he would be forced to move forward by security, and he couldn’t risk looking anything less than a man in front of his beloved.

He reached out and clasped your hand with his, breathing in shakily as the warmth of your hand spread a drunk-like buzz from his clammy fingertips to his brain.

He took the chance to blurt out what had been on his mind, knowing that you, his idol and his love, would never cruelly reject him.

‘‘I love you, (y/n)!” he choked out, his voice raspy. He could feel his heart thrumming his chest frantically as he waited for your response. You blinked at him in surprise before your eyes curved up in upside down crescent-moon shapes and the tips of your lips curled up happily.

‘‘I love you, too, Jungkook-ah! Please continue supporting my group and me in the future!”

Jungkook’s heart ached in his chest as he forced himself to move away from you and onto the next member. He was dizzy now with elation to the point where he could collapse. You said you loved him back, just like he knew you would. You two were fated to be together, and cruelty would be keeping the both of you separated.

---

You sagged into the seat of the van, aimlessly playing with the cellphone charm one of your fans had given you at the fan meeting several weeks ago. You lightly mused to yourself as you sat in the empty van, having come out from an individual music video shooting that took an exhausting 6 hours for your 12-second part. The director had been super picky with your group’s new comeback, retaking one after the other.

The charm really was pretty, wasn’t it? It must’ve costed a lot of money too, judging by how the gem looked pretty authentic and real. You were broken out of your thoughts when the driver door slid shut, your manager coming in to take you back to the dorm room building. You barely glanced at the driver’s seat before turning on your phone to check on your SNS account.

You let out a long drained sigh when your phone beeped slightly before the screen turned completely black, your battery completely drained by the long shoot. The phone charmed sparkled underneath the flickering lights of streetlights as the van passed them.

‘‘Manager-nim,” you called out,” Do you have some water?”

A plastic water bottle was passed to you, and you reached out for it, too tired to care about your manager’s aloof behavior as you twisted off the cap and practically chugged the entire bottle until your thirst finally wavered. You wiped the droplets of water that had trickled onto your chin with the back of your hand and fell back onto the seat with a yawn. There was some strange taste lingering on the back of your throat, but you wrote it off as the faintly plastic-y taste that usually came with bottled water.

Your eyelids were getting droopy now, and you wondered how long you had been in the van. Usually, the filming place wasn’t this far of a drive from your dorm.

‘‘Do you like the charm?” your manager spoke, in a softly sweet voice. You tried to blink your eyes open as you heard the voice. Your manager didn’t have that voice; his was usually more rougher and gravelly. You could barely fend off the wave of exhaustion as you tried to focus on your manager. Your manager’s build looked more different than usual, as he looked taller and more built.

‘‘I’m sorry,” you slurred, trying to force your vocal cords to work,” What do you mean by that?”

‘‘It was pretty hard to get that charm, you know? It has a little chip on it that tracks your location, so I always know where you are. It stresses me out when I don’t know where you are, baby, so I’m really glad you were comfortable in accepting my gift. Don’t worry, your manager is safe too; I know you’re too kind and think about the well-being of others. I just gave him a light hit on the back of his head, nothing that severe if he’s strong enough.”

‘‘Hmm?” you could barely form words now. You were too exhausted to properly think. You met your driver’s eyes--he wasn’t your manager--in the rear view mirror, your vision bleary. You, you knew those eyes. He was one of the few fans who really paid attention to you at fansigns.

‘‘Jung-?’‘ you couldn’t finish the word as your eyes, against your will, began to slide properly shut and the wave of sleep achingly gripped onto your bones.

Jungkook laughed lightly as he saw you fall asleep, succumbing to a mixture of sleep deprivation and the drug he had slipped into your water to make sure you got proper rest. You were so cute like this. He could stare at you forever, watching the way you breathed in and out in your sleep and pouted your lips slightly. He knew that when you woke up, you would understand. He had to do this. No one else deserved you but him.

He shifted his eyes back to the night road, breathing out a soft,’’ Good night, baby. I love you.’’

He knew that if you were still awake, you would look up at him with pretty wide eyes and reply to him just like you did at the fansign. You would blush cutely and say to him,’’ I love you, too, Jungkook-ah.’’

#yandere jungkook #yandere bts #yandere #bts yandere #jungkook x reader #yandere au #yandere fic #yandere scenario #yandere x reader #yandere reader insert #kpop yandere #bts #bts fic #bts x reader #bts jungkook x reader #jungkook fic

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percabethfeelsfandom · 3 years

Text

Headcanons: Percy and Annabeth as Tik Tokers Part 3

Part 1

Part 2

I never mentioned what Percy and Annabeth’s users would be. Annabethchase1207 + perSEAus

- Annabeth would have a really basic username because she made the account ironically hence why it’s just her name and birthday

- Percy definitely would make a joke out of his user so that’s my take on it

Back in Cali, Annabeth’s friends are literally about to riot because they aren’t there live to witness percabeth happening

(They’re all avid tik tok users and they’ve started a house/tik tok group called Olympus because Piper did a series where she turned all her friends into different greek gods/goddeses )

Leo makes tik toks about making little inventions/DIYs that are actually useful but his viral video/series was him making his own Iron Man suit, he also does random rants and skits that are half in English half in Spanish because he’s so exasperated at the stupidity of people (Piper turned him into Hephaestus)

Jason doesn’t post as frequently on tik tok but he’s made a handful of his sporting highlights and trick shots he’s done over the years as a prodigy sports kid. Prior to piper’s request he also has done Pov’s with her. His viral tik tok is of him with a staff and doing cool transitions with it as he spins It (imagine him spinning it normally and he’s wearing normal training clothes and then the next spin, he’s in like a suit and the lights go all low and shit and his eyes glow blue) (Piper turns him into Zeus, but she also turns him into Apollo at one point so he can match Thalia)

Thalia owns punk/goth lesbian tik tok. She’s a pioneer in the LGBTQ+ tik tok community. Going on rants shutting down men who have the audacity. She cosplays as well, and her history in archery means people are always asking her to cosplay as Katniss. She’s always changing her hair colour like every month, but right now It’s a dark blue that looks almost black. as annabeth’s best friend she is also a frequent in annabeth’s tik toks, but only to provide sarcastic commentary. You can also find her lurking on Percy’s comment section providing feedback on his skateboarding tricks (you bet that these two have been DMing back and forth) (piper turns her into Artemis) (Thalia’s girlfriend Reyna is also a frequent appearance in her tik toks, and you can see just how easily Thalia melts in front of the camera when Reyna’s there, it’s so sweet it could give you a toothache)

Last not not least miss Piper Mclean, daughter of the ever famous Tristan mclean, but manages to make a name for herself by being so amazingly talented as a stylist, makeup artist, and editor. She’s worked with so many famous youtubers and photographers. She makes her tik tok as a place for her to just shut her brain off but it becomes a super easy comfort escape where she can trial some new makeup looks, and new fashion pieces, and POVs (shoutout to @ myangels.percabeth on insta for commenting this on my instagram) while also showing people how to thrift in LA and do fun photoshoots at home, a queen of self care, and body positivity (she transforms herself into Aphrodite but makes it this huge collaboration with tons of different artists on the app so with each makeup transition it’s a different person because aphrodite can look like anyone…like it starts with piper putting on foundation she turns her head and it’s someone else putting on blush etc. and finishes off with piper again and winking at the camera in full greek goddess glam)

(piper also transforms Annabeth into Athena and Percy comments on it with 👁👄👁)

When Annabeth and Percy re-emerge from the library and make it back to the hotel she’s staying at they finally check their phones and see that they’ve gone viral (again)

They decide not to address the rumours because, it’s not the internets business’ to know (AS IT SHOULD BE)

They spend that week almost completely absent from social media because they want to have something that is just completely theirs. (But there are two posts worth noting, one on annabeth’s infrequently used instagram of someone’s (Percy’s) silhouette and the New York skyline the night before she leaves and a picture of Percy’s pinky wrapped around someones (annabeths) pinky on his stories that is deleted after an hour (but not before the entire internet finds it and it becomes the new standard of what people want in their relationship) (I can already see the tweets #goals finD mE a MaN tHAt hoLDS mY piNKY)

Eventually Annabeth has to go back to cali and percy stays in NY

They exchange their goodbyes between short kisses, promises to FaceTime each other soon and promises of building something permanent

They begin a secret (not so secret) relationship long distance

They continue duetting each other’s videos and mentioning each other offhandedly in their tik toks

Percy starts a YouTube channel and his first video is a proper vlog of his and annabeth’s adventures together

(It’s a sweet 1 month anniversary gift to her but only they know that)

Annabeth starts to post less and less on her tik tok because of school (at least that’s what she tells her followers but really she’s losing touch with her love of the internet because of how intrusive it is and also she’s trying to heal her relationship with her family so that’s taking all her energy. She leaves the Olympus house but keeps in touch with them (obviously, she grew up with them so that’s a no brainer)

Once she’s posting less, people begin to (finally) lose interest in percabeth so that they can live their life. Percy keeps posting his usual videos but he’s starting to get caught up with YouTube, and starts getting some amazing brand deals and he uses it all to help get his family a house that is their own, (“Surprising my amazing mom with her dream house”)

On Annabeth’s birthday the next year percy surprises her at cali and the rumours about them start up as she appears more in his socials and vice versa

One thing leads to another and they accidentally out their relationship when annabeth’s phone is in the background of Percy’s (“surprising my best friend in California”) video and there’s a picture of percy kissing her cheek in a coupley way as her wallpaper

They take it in stride rather than denying (because why would they) and say yeah we’ve been dating lol, we’ve been dating for a while now

And on some internet awards show they win couple of the year

Because that’s what percabeth deserves

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willowistic22 · 3 years

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Famous!newsies

Ok so here are my famous!newsies headcanons from an a modern au i thought of if newsies were celebrities/famous yknow bcs I couldn’t get this idea out of my head and idk what to do with it other than making a headcanon list nabsnzbsvsnsbz anyways hope yall validate me after not posting any original content for like…. awhile now hehe

btw it got longer than expected. And I mean r e a l l y long. So if yall wanna read this better sit down and buckle up!

Jack

He’s an artist on youtube

Like a modern day bob ross ig??

If yall know zhc on youtube just imagine that but not so rich (I don’t watch zhc btw but i do know that he does custom art on iphones and stuff and that is definitely not jack kelly)

Anyways Jack simply goes by Jack Kelly.

So jack does art challenges. Like does the weirdest requests from his fans left in his comment section and stuff

Or maybe challenging himself to make art from a specific theme or a specific media

Sometimes he vlogs too but his art videos are what his fans like the most

His merch is amazing because he designed the pattern/drawing/whatever yknow. It’s printed/sewed/whatever on the clothing and it’s good quality. It’s pretty lowkey for a youtuber’s merch bcs jack doesn’t like those merch that just smacks his logo on a hoodie

Davey

He’s a fantasy, YA, romance writer (he mixes it wisely ok?)

And goes by David Jacobs

Listen he’s a hopeless romantic and i’m pretty sure yall agree too

He wanted to stick to YA romance. The classic high school lovers yknow

But he wanted to challenge himself since he’s been writing about high school lovers since he was in high school

Thus the fantasy genre came in mind

So yeah he likes creating love in his own universe

Whether it’d be different worlds, universe, species, time periods, whatever.

He wanted to direct the movies based on his books, but he’s actually lowkey terrible at leading on his own. But he did stick to being the script writer and co-director (look idk how it works in the film industry i’m just making shit up)

Crutchie

He’s a solo jazz singer

Crutchie gives off Michael Buble and Jason Mraz vibes tho

And maybe a bit of frank sinatra? Yknow ‘cause he sings jazz

Also he riffs thank you very much :)

He goes by Crutchie Morris to everyone

He usually plays the acoustic guitar or piano on stage

Ok but he’s like really good with the piano

Makes the best jokes on stage too. Some are just sarcastic comments.

Crutchie asking through the microphone : “Oh, straight?”

A fan he’s talking to from the crowd : “Uhh… no, gay”

Crutchie : “no not you, the vodka”

Everyone at the concert : *laughs*

Crutchie, jokingly : “Oh, you’re drinking vodka! Straight? No gay”

(yes that was indeed inspired by that one video of Harry Styles and a fan in one of his concerts yall can’t stop me)

Kathrine

She’s a crime mystery writer

Think like the modern day Agatha Christie

Okok but she goes by Kathrine Plumber on her books :D

She chooses that genre bcs she’s a huge fan of Agatha Christie

Her favorite book from Agatha is Murder on the Orient Express

Oh and her books are sometime very gruesome alkjsfhakjsfb

Nobody check her browsing history, she’ll look like a murderer

Ok but I feel like she also has a youtube channel about books and stuff and sometimes like to vlog

She also has a writing tips series on her channel where she shares tips on some of the frequently asked questions about writing or her fans leave a specific question in the comment section and thought she could expand more to it in a full length video

Also she likes to vlog while she’s in a book convention

Her books are also turned into movies and she has done a great job directing it

Race

Yall would be lying to me if you don’t think this kid would end up being a twitch streamer and youtuber (like vlogging yknow. I feel like his gaming stuff would strictly be on twitch)

And ik it’s widely agreed by everyone in the fandom that he’s a dancer of some sort so yeah he’s also simultaneously a dancer

I don’t think I need to explain any further bcs it’s just so in character

He goes by Racetrack Higgins

Ok so he likes to vlog on his youtube channel

Sometimes does stupid challenges

Maybe he’d drag Albert to do a challenge which he always says no

“I’ll just be your cameraman dude, dw”

Race : *angery*

Since Al and Smalls are the skateboard peeps™ race is the rollerblade dude™ bcs I say so

He has three cats named Racecat Higgins, Spot Clawlon, and Romeow (i’ve mentioned it before and I will mention it again hehe) and his fans loves them endlessly

Albert

You don’t think this kid would also end up being a twitch streamer and youtuber like his bestie up there?? Lmao you thought wrong (again, gaming is strictly on his twitch)

He just goes by Albert DaSilva on the internet

And yes he’s also a dancer because I say so

On his Youtube channel he also vlogs

Half of his vlogs starts with him riding his skateboard

“Hey, guys! Welcome back to another vlog-” *falls off his skateboard for not paying attention to a curb*

It happens way more often than he’d like to admit let’s be real. His fans make a compilation of it and memes on reddit

Always wear a snapback

Snapbacks are an important element to him so his merch store is really boosting his snapbacks

And just for the wormsie discord server he has one with the word ranga on it after it being born from a stupid inside joke he, race, and both of their fanbases combined share (@ my wormsie fam thank me later)

Oh yeah, his youtube besties are Race and Smalls just so we’re clear here :) (I’ll get to Smalls in a bit)

So I always headcanon Albert having two big dobermans. So his fans always want to see a doggy update because Zara and Zoey are everything to them.

Doggo vlogs are fun. It’s usually Albert taking the two good girls to Central Park for playtime or teaching them new tricks

Spot

He’s a solo rock singer

Is an amazing singer like wow none of the newsies expected him to have that sort of pipes to reach high notes

And he does it amazingly with no sweat

Also his instrument is the electric guitar to go with his amazing singing ajsfhasjfhajhf

Anyways he goes by Spot Conlon still

And his songs are very lyrical. Like very.

A lot of metaphors. No one knows what most of his songs means.

So basically Taylor Swift songs if it switched genres to rock. And not even like songs from speak now or red. But like if evermore and folklore songs were to turn into rock songs with a little bit of reputation vibes sprinkled on top. And his concerts has the reputation era vibes but make it spot conlon (hey non swiftie fans reading this i’m so sorry i’m pretty sure yall don’t understand wtf i’m talking abt)

That is also the only way i know to describe his vibe i’m sorry but i don’t really listen to a lot of rock alkjhfasjk

Anyways it’s a known fact that he wears tank tops daily that it becomes his signature look. And also an inside joke among his fanbase

Now just picture the merch booth from one of his shows and there’s like endless tank top designs for his fans to pick and choose

He’s also crowned to be the King of Brooklyn bcs of obvious reasons

But the joke is he’s a pretty tough hardcore guy that’s a cat person

Sarah

She’s a badass female solo singer

Mostly does pop but the badass type of pop

Yes, she does go by Sarah Jacobs

Fans were really surprised Davey and Sarah are related

Because one is a hopeless romantic while the other is a total badass

Anyways she gives off Little mix, Ariana Grande, Taylor Swift, and Selena Gomez vibes

That is literally the only way I can describe it

She’s very lyrical, with a lot of metaphors

When she dances on stage, she d a n c e s

All while holding a mic to sing. And she hits all those high notes like it’s no ones business (a literal queen i tell you)

She and Spot are besties and has been known to have done a few collabs together

Their fans were hesitant about their collabs since their genre is pretty different from the other but they make it work and it slAPS

And among all her boppy songs with full choreography and backup singers, she always have a few songs she sings while only being accompanied by piano or guitar (Either electric or acoustic) which she plays on her own

Finch

He’s an indie pop artist with his trusted acoustic guitar by his side

Just think of music by Wallows and Lewis Capaldi were to be blended in together and Conan Gray for the cherry on top

But it has a little bit of Ed sheeran, Lorde, and Lauv vibes to it too

His concerts are simple but his songs are mostly very boppy so his fans still have fun either way

And it’s usually in small venues but there are times where he had a concert in a huge stadium

He goes by FINCH (yeah all caps btw)

Finches are a very on brand thing for him obviously

Has been known to collab with Crutchie and they actually make a very good team

Somehow was able to combined both genres to produce a few boppy songs

Ok ok but Finch and Crutchie have made a collaborative album (and maybe they went on tour????)

Specs

He’s a history fiction writer

Yes this is inspired by the fact that he’s 100% a history nerd (no one change my mind i love this headcanon aight)

And he explores a lot of different histories from different parts of the world

He actually helps a lot of students understand history even further for school through his novels

Anyways he goes by Specs because I say so

No one knows why that’s his pseudonym and Specs isn’t interested in explaining either. No one other than the newsies need to know it was born from a stupid nickname the newsies gave him :)

His research mostly comes from history books because of his genre which wouldn’t be a problem since he has loads and will voluntarily buy more if needed

Also yeah he makes a great director for the movies taken from his books

Mush

He’s a chef on youtube

Goes by Mush Meyers

So think if Gordon Ramsey and his youtube channel but make it mush

Yeah that’s it really

Ok but Mush is a jolly and friendly person

Other than just food vlogging he does cooking challenges and cooking tips too

Sometimes he does the cooking challenges with a friend (mostly henry but i’ll get to him later on in the list)

But he also vlogs his life

Which isn’t really often but he likes to sometimes

He’s that big of a foodie he has a food blog too

And also a seafood restaurant so that’s cool :D

Henry

Like Mush, he’s a chef on youtube

Goes by Henry on the internet and in general

Ajkfhajfjska I’m thinking about how ppl would address him as Chef Henry kajhfkjlashfjklasfjklsf

He mostly does the same thing like Mush actually

Food vlogging and cooking challenges (they do it together so) sometimes cooking tips

But Henry vlogs his life a lot

And instead of a food instagram he has a food blog

He has a sandwich restaurant

Yeah it is inspired by his pastrami on rye with a sour pickle line from KONY get mad about it why don’t ya (well if i’m not mistaken henry was the one that said it but idk i have horrible memory)

Blink

He’s a youtuber

Ok so I have a specific headcanon that Blink majored in psychology but didn’t end up being a psychologist

So instead he becomes a psychologist on youtube

Who often vlogs jhgasjlfhs

The guy looks like he could cut you but his sense of humor once you get him talking is just *chef’s kiss* amazing

Which is why he also has a podcast because he’s also secretly great at talking

He just thinks mental health is very important, okay?

Romeo

He’s an actor

Mostly on Broadway but has worked with Hollywood before

He’s usually a supporting character but has been known to understudy for main characters

Ok ik these bullet points are getting shorter and shorter but these are mostly bcs some of these stuff are pretty self explanatory since it’s very in character

Like are you telling me a kid named Romeo isn’t gonna be in some way very dramatic and end up turning that personality trait into his career?? Plus he’s very good at that?

Yeah you’re lying to me

Also he’s a pretty frequent vlogger on youtube

Look he’s a fun guy, what did you expect?

Just goes by Romeo on youtube

Elmer

He’s an actor

Has done his fair share in Broadway and Hollywood but started in Broadway

He can dance but thinks he’s pretty average in it yknow

Which his fans has no idea what he’s talking about because on stage he can do flips and turns like it’s no ones business yknow

But he can sing really good and takes pride in it

Elmer would play characters that is really far off from his own personality that fans couldn’t believe that Elmer played that character

He has done his fair share in main characters and supporting characters on Broadway

In Hollywood he usually does indie and rom-com movies

Buttons

He’s a fashion youtuber and basically an influencer

Let’s be real this boy is a fashion icon

He’s not really a model but more like a fashion influencer and also kind of a fashion designer

His clothing line is very *chefs kiss* amazing

He designed it all and sometimes likes to design for his friends as well

He also does fashion tips on his youtube channel

His instagram game is god tier level (along with Tommy Boy and Sniper I’ll get to them in a bit)

But yeah he also vlogs

And goes by Buttons Davenport

Jojo

He’s an actor

Mostly on Broadway but has done a few movies in Hollywood

He radiates main character energy and he does become the main character most of the time (on hollywood at least)

On Broadway he mostly enjoys being apart of the ensemble because this boy loves dancing

But he does play a few supporting characters

He has released one or two albums too because his singing is top tier

But isn’t interested in doing a lot of live concerts with his albums

Since no one has the time to say Josephino Jorgelino De La Guerra he turned it into Jojo De La Guerra (so much for ‘a special nickname only for friends and family’)

Mike and Ike

They’re a pop boy band and bcs of my lack of creativity it’s called Mike and Ike

At the start of their career :

“My name goes first because I’m older than you!” - Mike

“You’re only older than me by 13 minutes, holy shit!” - Ike

But Ike slowly accepts the fact that it’ll be like this yknow

Anyways they’re pretty great singers

They have one direction and new hope club vibes

Tho unlike one direction they can dance (i love the boys alright but i really think it’s funny that they can’t dancelkhjjlh)

They like to switch from the guitar (electric and/or acoustic) to the piano

The amount of times their name is confused by the candy is too many

But they like it like that lol

Anyways i’ve mentioned a headcanon where Mike has tattoos (not like from head to toe but it’s fairly noticeable to everyone) and Ike has piercings

So the only way their fans tell them apart is by that

But there are times where Mike has his tattoos covered or Ike took his piercings off in public alone. A fan mistakens them for the other twin but they still respond to the other name because they don’t feel like there’s a need to correct them since they’re mostly known by Mike and Ike anyways. When the fan posts it on instagram and tags the twin they thought it was the twin that was tagged would comment “wrong twin but nice pic you two”

Happens wayyyyy too many times. Their fans are officially scared to approach one of the two in public alone without their differentiating indicators on which is which

And yes it is widely known that they argue a lot when it comes to writing songs

Nothing out of the ordinary sibling squabble yknow but it’s a lot

But they do end up finding a solution to the topic of their argument and make a good team at the end of the day

Hotshot

He’s an actor

On Broadway, he’s one of those actor’s that is mostly good in just the acting and singing

He can’t dance to save his life sjdfghaf

So Jeremy Jordan yknow asj;oghajshf

No not really. He can dance a little bit

So he’s mostly the main character

But he’s widely known for his works in Hollywood

He does a lot of drama. Think stuff like Elite and Designated Survivor. Yeah those kinds of heavy drama (well idk i think those two are pretty heavy)

He wants to release his own music because he’s a pretty good singer but he can’t write songs to save his life either jgnjafjasf

And all the demo songs he was suggested by producers isn’t his cup of tea

So he’s no singer ladies and gents ://

The name Hotshot is used to name his social media platforms. He always adds a description in his bio’s that Hotshot is a nickname his friends and family use so his fans and the media refer to him with his name

I headcanon Hotshot’s real name is Tyler or some sort. No don’t ask me what’s his last name is because idk either lol

Sniper

She’s a model, beauty and fashion youtuber (I’m pretty sure those are two different things tho idk i don’t watch youtube religiously anymore), and just an influencer in general

Instagram game on p o i n t

I know most beauty youtubers go by their names but uhh… i don’t think i’ve ever thought of a first name for Sniper but I really think she really would just go by Sniper Wah on the internet (Idk she seems like an Ashley in my head but feel free to recommend headcanon names to me)

Anyways she’s very fashionable

Tommy Boy (i’ll get to him just wait aight?) and Buttons are her fashion besties

The three of them pretty much appear in each other’s Youtube video not Tommy’s tho bcs he doesn’t have one lol

Sniper’s brand are huge sun hats

I have no idea how or why but that girl has sun hats vibes I can’t explain any further I’m sorry

Doesn’t have a clothing line but does have a make up brand of her own. She calls it Sniper. Yeah that’s it akjfhjf

Smalls

She’s a twitch streamer and youtuber like race and albert

They’re a youtube trio everyone loves it

And yes she does go by Smalls

Oh and she also dances like her two stupid besties thanks for asking

Bubblegum is her brand (idk how to explain she just has the vibe)

She is skateboard chick

I’m imagining a video collab of her and Al on a skatepark doing stupid challenges

It’s her most viewed video

Tommy Boy

Ok ok he’s a model, influencer, and dancer

So think a male version of Gigi Hadid that dances

No he doesn’t have a youtube channel but frequently has made an appearance on Buttons’ and Sniper’s videos

Yes his instagram feed is also very amazing

He goes by Tommy Boy

People genuinely thinking ‘Boy’ is actually his last name and kinda think it’s strange but doesn’t complain

Tommy literally didn’t think people would think it was his last name. But they did anyways

Les

Let’s just get straight to the point : he’s a famous tiktoker

And yes, ppl are surprised at the fact that him, Davey, and Sarah are related to each other

To the people that made it through this entire list. Congratulations and thank you for your validation. Have a wonderful evening and stay hydrated

i will write at least one oneshot out of this au i promise!!

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shefanispeculator · 3 years

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I'm slightly disappointed to log onto Zoom and find Gwen Stefani in Los Angeles. I wanted to see the ranch. Stefani spent most of the pandemic in Oklahoma with her fiancé and fellow The Voice coach Blake Shelton, with whom she has recently collaborated on a string of country radio hits, alongside a kitsch Christmas song. For a ska-pop superstar, it's a pivot, but Stefani and Shelton are cute together — picture-perfect in their opposite attraction.

Country Gwen exists, her urban counterpart assures me, but on this particular MacBook she's nowhere to be seen. I'm not sure what crude regional stereotypes I was expecting (Stefani spitting sunflower seeds? Shelton line dancing in the background?) but I get Californian sunshine instead, illuminating a version of Stefani more familiar from my teenage years, when Love. Angel. Music. Baby and its follow-up The Sweet Escape spawned millions of fans, haters and imitators. She's platinum blonde, red lipsticked and wearing a black-and-white outfit that matches the decor. The checkerboard pattern can be traced back to an even earlier era, when Stefani and her No Doubt bandmates were '80s teenagers obsessed with two-tone acts like Madness and The Specials.

Cowboy boots wouldn't fit this picture, and nor would Stefani's glitzy showgirl outfits from The Voice, where she just wrapped another season as a celebrity coach. As she prepares to release her fourth solo record, and enters the fifth decade of an extraordinarily successful music career, Gwen Stefani is re-re-branding as... Gwen Stefani.

Top: Local Boogeyman, Pants: GCDS, Shoes: Valentino, Earrings, bracelets and rings: Dena Kemp (The Residency Experience), Necklaces: Gwen's own, Engagement ring: Gwen's own

"But what is that?" Stefani asks with seriousness, as we consider the possibility of some essential, inherent Gwen. "Everyone's interpretation of what I am and how I sing, I mean, that's what this era is about for me."

Said era kicked off late last year, with the music video for "Let Me Reintroduce Myself." It saw Stefani playfully revisit the wardrobes of album cycles past, from the ab-bearing tomboy tank tops of "Hollaback Girl" to the club kid blue hair mascara of '90s No Doubt. Her Harajuku Girls also make a return. The entire visual is a huge flex, not only for the sheer volume of iconic career moments recreated in dutiful detail, but the fact Stefani can still fit into the clothes originally worn during all of them. She looks eerily the same, frighteningly good, ageing in reverse at the same pace as her frequent collaborator Pharrell.

"It's really a blessing to be able to have such a long career, where there really is nothing to prove anymore."

Pop stars are expected to be young forever, in looks but also in their capacity to innovate new trends. Which makes the nostalgic music video a curious choice. Doesn't Stefani know by now that the cardinal rule of pop is to avoid repeating yourself? That even the hottest artists in the world are basically required by law to create completely new eras from scratch every six months in order to appease fans and maintain maximum TikTok-ready relevance?

Of course she does, but that doesn't mean she has to participate. Stefani isn't trying to chase down her contemporaries, despite clearly possessing the physical fitness required. "It's really a blessing to be able to have such a long career, where there really is nothing to prove anymore," she says. "It's a different energy. You know, it's really just about doing it to do it, as opposed to trying to make a statement or make a mark."

Corset: Ronald van der Kemp, Bracelets: Dena Kemp (The Residency Experience), Earrings: Lana Jewelry (The Residency Experience), Engagement ring: Gwen's own

Even the Saweetie remix of her latest single "Slow Clap" happened on a whim, after the younger artist happened to post a video of herself vibing to Stefani's 2004 single "Luxurious" on Instagram Stories. They knocked out the song and accompanying video in a day. Neither seems bothered by the Old Navy meme. "It was just this little video that we did on the fly," Stefani says. "It just happened. It just feels good to put new stuff out there."

Stefani completed a two-year Vegas greatest hits residency in 2019, which gave her a sense of perspective on her own legacy. "You make a new record because that's what is exciting for you," she says. "But people really just want to hear the records after a while that were the backdrop to their lives, a 'Don't Speak' or a 'Just a Girl' or a 'Hollaback Girl,' or whatever it was for them. So, you know, it's hard — you can only be new when you're new, and that's just the truth, and I know that."

She says she was pleasantly surprised that "Let Me Reintroduce Myself" charted at all, and that she only found out it did when Shelton walked into the kitchen to show her the iTunes numbers. "I burst out crying with joy, because it was like, 'Whoa, really?' I think I'd set myself up to be quite realistic about where I'm at."

Stefani, endlessly polite and self-deprecating in conversation, which on her end mostly consists of endearingly earnest run-on monologues, says she still has "tons" of insecurities. I get the impression she has been trying harder to give herself credit lately. She recalls recently hearing Cyndi Lauper's "Girls Just Want to Have Fun" on the car radio and finding herself in awe of the song's timeless catchiness.

Suit: Balmain, Earrings and choker: Lana Jewelry (The Residency Experience), Necklaces: Gwen's own

"But then I started thinking," she says, in a goofy Cher Horowitz tone. "Like, I have a few of those myself." She talks of this realization as a genuine breakthrough, which is a little worrying for a woman who has sold 40 million records. No shit, she has a "few of those." More of them than Lauper, actually.

More new music is coming along slowly, but I've caught Stefani on a day when the horizon looks closer than usual, and while things haven't quite fallen into place yet, she's feeling more confident that they eventually will. "I'm at the end," she declares. "The idea of going for a session and not being with my kids or the idea of taking time away from Blake doesn't fuel my fire like it did two months ago. I need to decide, wrap it up, put out the project."

Crucially, there's no rush. The album will simply arrive sometime this year, tracklist and title currently undecided.

"You're talking to me at a weird transitional time," Stefani says repeatedly throughout our conversation, which sometimes takes on the cathartic tone of therapy. But having time in the first place is a new feeling.

Bracelet and choker: Dana Kemp (The Residency Experience), Obsession necklace: Lidow Archive, Gold necklaces: Gwen's own, Clothing: Blumarine, Boots: Philipp Plein

NO DOUBT WERE A BAND for nine years before getting on the radio. Enough time for Stefani and bassist Tony Kanal to be in a long term relationship then break up and write a whole hit album about it. All of the Fleetwood Mac drama was resolved pre-fame, which enabled the group to capitalize on the surprise success of Tragic Kingdom singles like "Don't Speak" and "Just a Girl" with a world tour that lasted almost three years. Three more albums followed, and Stefani has reinforced her household name status in every decade since, launching a solo career and multiple fashion lines while never totally cutting the cord from her original musical project.

In other words, record executives have been dictating Stefani's schedule since the mid-'90s. She even sings about it on Love. Angel. Music. Baby opener "What You Waiting For," in which her biological clock ticks like a metronome. Interscope Co-Founder Jimmy Iovine, who discovered No Doubt and continued to work with Stefani on her solo output, was quick to point out that his client's prime childbearing years were also her last opportunity to cross over into pop stardom. And after her first record went number one, it only made sense to lay down some new tracks straight away.

"Whether or not I get the response that I would hope to get — because that's what I'm used to, because I'm so damn spoiled and I've tasted the blood of success — I still got to do the creative journey."

"I had the baby, the first one, and it was only like eight weeks after I had him, that Jimmy was calling me saying, you've got to go in the studio with Akon," Stefani recalls cheerfully. "Like, Akon wants to work with you. Like, no, I'm nursing my baby. But then I couldn't say no." And then? "We wrote 'Sweet Escape.'" And then? "I went on a world tour." And then? "In the month that I got home from that one hundred and whatever shows it was, I got pregnant with Zuma. So then that was that." (It wasn't. Admittedly: "Then it was like, No Doubt, let's do another record.")

Things are different now: "You can just drop singles and you don't have to put a record out. But if you want to put a record out, you can work on it slowly." But even as she talks of slowing down, speculating that she might not even go on tour after the pandemic ends, in the next sentence Stefani's back to admitting that there's more work to be done, that she wants to write a couple more songs for her new record, "just to make sure."

Earrings: Lana Jewelry (The Residency Experience) Choker: Chanel, Necklaces: Gwen's own, Gloves: Laurel DeWitt, Top: Local Boogeyman

"The creation is the thing that fuels me so much," she says. "Whether or not I get the response that I would hope to get — because that's what I'm used to, because I'm so damn spoiled and I've tasted the blood of success — I still got to do the creative journey."

Like any good lyricist, she reaches out to her listener, hoping to convey a more universal point. "It's just probably the same for you as a writer," she guesses. "You know, it's the anticipation. You're in it now. You're getting the information. This is what you live for. You're doing the interview and then you're going to write it. And that's going to be the challenge."

GWEN STEFANI WAS PUTTING out diary entry pop when Olivia Rodrigo was still in diapers and Taylor Swift was but a humble Pennsylvania Christmas tree heiress. She struggles to pen lyrics that aren't confessional ("I'm not a creative writer when it comes to like, 'Oh, let's just write a sad song about something that didn't happen to me'"), and occasionally re-traumatizes herself when performing old hits. Return of Saturn deep cut "Dark Blue" triggers "crazy, just horrible" recollections of a past relationship. Even "Don't Speak" felt emotional onstage in Vegas.

But after releasing an excruciating divorce album, This Is What the Truth Feels Like, in 2016, Stefani is back to writing happy songs only. She's getting married, after all. She won't be releasing any of her trademark breakup anthems anytime soon. "Girl," she laughs, "I think I've had my fair share."

Bow: Laurel DeWitt, Earrings: Lana Jewelry (The Residency Experience), Bracelets: Dena Kemp (The Residency Experience), Shirt: Vintage Archive, Dress: Erdem, Tights: Capezio, Shoes: Marc Jacobs (Lidow Archive)

Stefani and Shelton's relationship has puzzled some fans. Shelton, a country radio phenomenon, never endorsed Trump in the 2016 election, but he did come close. Earlier this year, he was criticized for releasing a song called "Minimum Wage," about finding small joys during periods of economic struggle, at the peak of a recession.

Is Gwen Stefani a Republican now? She's not offended by the question, or really anything I have to ask. She has been famous for so long that she expects and even embraces scrutiny. "If you're going to be a star, that's what you get," she says. "You know what I mean? You get what you get, and you don't get upset, at all."

As for her politics, it's read-between-the-lines."I can see how people would be curious, but I think it's pretty obvious who I am," she says. "I've been around forever. I started my band because we were really influenced by ska, which was a movement that happened in the late '70s, and it was really all about people coming together. The first song I ever wrote was a song called 'Different People,' which was on the Obama playlist, you know, a song about everyone being different and being the same and loving each other. The very first song I wrote."

One of very few multi-racial bands playing stadium shows for hoardes of American teenangers in the 1990s, No Doubt did very literally embody those second-wave ska principles of inclusion. Stefani even wore bindis and saris on stage as a symbol of cultural exchange with Kanal, who is Indian-American, briefly kickstarting a white girl facial jewelry trend that it's safe to say would not fly in 2021.

Rings (left): Dena Kemp (The Residency Experience)

"The Specials and The Selecter and all those groups, and what they were doing in the late '70s was this whole kind of anti-racism, we come together, Black and white ska movement," Stefani elaborates on the band's founding principles. "And we were sort of echoing that in the '80s when we did it, we were like the third generation of ska."

Ska she's always happy to discuss, but Stefani was brought up to keep her electoral preferences personal, and that rule has held for her entire career. "The whole point of voting, is you have this personal space to feel how you feel," she explains. "I use my platform to share my life story and to engage with people and to exchange whatever gift I was giving. I'm not a political science major. I am not that person. Everyone knows that. So why would I even talk about it?"

"I don't need to go on Instagram and say 'girl power.' I just need to live and be a good person and leave a trail of greatness behind me."

It never has been. Looking back, it's weird that "Just a Girl" is so integral to Gwen Stefani's brand. She's never written anything else with remotely the same message, and or publicly identified as a feminist. To Stefani, it's just a song about growing up, and "all of a sudden you realize your gender." It wasn't meant as a protest or anthem: in fact, being her breakout hit, she didn't think anyone other than her bandmates and some local fans would ever hear it.

"I don't even know if I knew what feminist at that time was," she says. "I was very sheltered growing up with my family. I wasn't political. I wasn't angry." Even now: "I don't need to go on Instagram and say 'girl power.' I just need to live and be a good person and leave a trail of greatness behind me. Stop talking about it and stop trying to bully everybody about it. Just do it. And that's how I feel like I've lived my life."

WHEN STEFANI WAS GROWING up in 1970s Anaheim, her father got a job doing market research for Yamaha, which required frequent business trips to Japan. He'd bring home Sanrio toys, as well as anecdotes about the Tokyo district of Harajuku, where teenagers were dressing like Elvis, and "taking all these American things and making them Japanese." His daughter was entranced. "He would be telling me these things my whole life, like my whole life. I had a deep fascination."

So when No Doubt played Japan in 1996, Stefani describes, "It was a pretty big deal for me." The tour was the first time she'd traveled outside of the United states, save one trip to Italy when she was 21. "I just was inspired," she recalls. "It's a world away. And at that time it was even further, because you couldn't see it on the internet. I don't think a younger generation can even imagine what it's like to not have access to the world."

From then on, Japan became one of Stefani's biggest career motivations, especially when it came to her solo albums. If she could just write more hits, she'd get to tour there again, see the street style, visit the vintage stores. "If you read the actual lyrics [in 'What You Waiting For?'], it talks about being a fan of Japan and how if I do good, I get to go back there," she says.

In the meantime, she decided she'd bring Japan to Los Angeles. "I never got to have dancers with No Doubt. I never got to change costumes. I never got to do all of those fun girl things that I always love to do. So I had this idea that I would have a posse of girls — because I never got to hang with girls — and they would be Japanese, Harajuku girls, because those are the girls that I love. Those are my homies. That's where I would be if I had my dream come true, I could go live there and I could go hang out in Harajuku."

Earrings, bracelets and rings: Dena Kemp (The Residency Experience, Gold Necklaces: Gwen's own, Top: Local Boogeyman, Pants: GCDS, Shoes: Valentino

Dancers Maya Chino ("Love"), Jennifer Kita ("Angel"), Rino Nakasone ("Music") and Mayuko Kitayama ("Baby") would go on to accompany Stefani for her next two album cycles, dancing on stage and in her videos while also making silent, but very well-dressed, awards show appearances. Kita, who'd grown up in LA, visited Japan for the first time on Stefani's tour.

In a 2006 interview with Blender magazine, comedian Margaret Cho compared the Harajuku Girls to a minstrel show. The backlash against them has been consistent ever since. Stefani, to this day, disagrees.

"If we didn't buy and sell and trade our cultures in, we wouldn't have so much beauty, you know?" she says. "We learn from each other, we share from each other, we grow from each other. And all these rules are just dividing us more and more."

Hello Kitty merch was harder to come by when she was a kid, but in other ways, life felt easier. "I think that we grew up in a time where we didn't have so many rules. We didn't have to follow a narrative that was being edited for us through social media, we just had so much more freedom."

Earrings, bracelets and rings: Dena Kemp (The Residency Experience), Necklaces: Gwen's own, Dress: GCDS, Shirt: Faith Connexion, Tights: Capezio, Shoes: Marc Jacobs (Lidow Archive)

Stefani's penchant for rule breaking has always been apparent in her music as much as her aesthetic. Genre-wise, she's a randomista. The chart success of No Doubt's bouncing ska beats felt like an accidental post-grunge-era glitch in the matrix, and it's insane to this day that one of Stefani's biggest solo hits samples "If I Were a Rich Man" from Fiddler on the Roof, by way of '90s British dancehall duo Louchie Lou & Michie One. That another, "Wind It Up," features earnest Sound of Music yodeling.

"I just make up whatever comes out," Stefani says of her songwriting process. "I don't even know where it comes from. I feel like it just comes from the source. It's not trained, and it's not perfect, it's just real."

She looks back on the Love.Angel.Music.Baby era as unusually experimental and artistically fulfilling. "It was just a really incredible time, and a very creative time. I feel like it was just a really creative project."

STEFANI VIEWS HER CAREER success as mostly a matter of luck. Pop stardom is God-given and mysterious."Because the fact I made it, it doesn't make any sense," she reflects. "It's written in the stars. You know what I'm saying? I'm not the most talented. I'm not the most pretty. I'm not the most smart. None of those things. But I made it, right?"

Clothing: Blumarine, Bracelet and choker: Dena Kemp (The Residency Experience), Obsession necklace: Lidow Archive, Gold necklaces: Gwen's Own

Every week on The Voice she watches objectively gifted musicians fail at becoming artists. "I watched people that went through that without seeing their faces, without knowing what color they are. And I chose the ones that pulled my heartstrings. And even though they were so talented, none of them have had careers. It's made me look at myself and even feel even more amazed by the fact that anyone cared or cares."

If all of this is actually so out of her control, then Stefani feels safe stepping back a little bit. "I don't have that fuel in me like I used to, because I already won," she says. And now she has other victories in mind. "Being a good human, a good mother. I want to have a good marriage. I want to be a good wife. I want to win at finding peace. I want to win at finding other hobbies that I'm good at."

But at the same time? "If I'm inspired, I'm going to try to do something with that inspiration." That's the most fun part: whatever else comes after has always been an amazing bonus.

The "Let Me Reintroduce Myself" era, whatever form it may eventually take, isn't a desperate grab at former glory. It's Stefani refusing to evolve for the sake of it. She's poking fun at the whole idea of having to compete with past personas alongside current ones, while acknowledging the fact she's grateful to still be in the game at all.

"You don't know what you're doing," she says, somehow both confident and resigned. "You're a cartoon of yourself at this point, and you don't know what people are thinking. They're wondering, what? Why are you still here? And I'm like, I don't know. They said I could be here. So I'm here!"

Photography: Jamie Nelson Styling: Nicola Formichetti Hair: Sami Knight Makeup: Michael Anthony Nails: Carolyn Orellana Wardrobe director: Marta Del Rio Production: Katrina Kudlick Digitatech: Sean MacGillivray Logo design: Luca Devinu Story: Kat Gillespie

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