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#I have IDEAS but idk if I will be able to finish a complete fic
myriad-of-things · 1 year
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10 yo me reading To Be a King: Lutta deserved better :(
22 yo me rereading To Be a King: Lutta deserves better *cracks fingers and opens up a blank google doc*
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l00rem · 4 months
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Imo, this is the most telling/concerning line of the explorers
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As we’ve seen, the environment of Explorers is incredibly toxic. 3/4 of the other admins have each insulted or taken shots at Amethio somehow. And it looks like this is nothing new, it’s horrible how Conia’s reaction to him being in a room alone with them is ‘oh god i hope he’s okay’. Amethio is a minor, he’s in a room full of people who seem to all be much older than him and ,in complete contrast to Liko’s situation, they all belittle him and insult him for every little mistake. It’s really upsetting how the only two people who have any sort of concern for him are his underlings- but Conia and Zir are absolutely powerless to really do anything about this. As much as they care about him, I don’t think Amethio would even be able to allow himself to be proper vulnerable around them. He’s already having to constantly prove himself, so how could he do something as unprofessional as spilling his worries to his underlings? It seems the only one he’s comfortable being open with is Ceruledge, but once again there is very little it can do to help him.
Then there’s Hamber. I’ve seen a few people give him the benefit of the doubt, especially because of episode 34 where it looks like he’s taken a shine to Amethio. But don’t let his fake concern fool you.
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All i see here is basic professionalism, like he’s reading what he has to say off a script. He doesn’t actually mean what he’s saying: we’ve seen how high the Explorers expectations are, I mean just look at how much Amethio is overexerting himself in the second op, surprise surprise Hamber is sitting back and merely watching despite his earlier comment of not straining yourself. Not to mention, the moment things start going well for Amethio, Hamber immediately undermines his agency by going with Sango and Onyx to sort things out personally. Like no wonder Amethio seems to be triggered by not being taken seriously when this is how his (employers? guardians? idk) treat him!
He’s also got soooo many red flags! The biggest being when Sango half-heartedly refuses orders, to which he responds:
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Literally physically intimidating her! And her reaction raises even more red flags, despite her happy demeanour the way she instantly complies is very telling that this isn’t the first time Hamber’s resorted to such threats… and this is the same environment a 16ish old is being raised in!
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Maybe it’s just the amount of pressure he was putting on himself, but look how stressed and low-key terrified Amethio looks when fighting Hamber!!
And even if we want to make the case that maybe Amethio is this special exception for Hamber and that he’s got a soft spot for him… he is ultimately still complicit in grooming Amethio into this shady organisation. Episode 34 even reveals that Hamber was the one who trained Amethio, which also fuels the idea that he might have been some random child they find and realised how easily they could manipulate him into becoming the perfect loyal admin. Well i personally subscribe to the Amethio is an orphan theory rather than Gibeons son, especially considering that comment about Gibeon ‘awakening’, Idk if Gibeon is even properly alive.
Btw if you’re interested in further exploration in what I’ve discussed in this post allow me to shamelessly plug my fic that finished recently. It delves into the shadiness of Explorers and how really fucked up Amethio’s situation is! https://archiveofourown.org/works/52757629
It’s kinda weird how we’ve gone from ‘haha look at team Rocket blast off again aren’t they so wacky?’ to literal child grooming. I’m all for the serious themes tho.
Tldr: Hamber deserves to be pushed down a flight of stairs, Amethio needs so much therapy.
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fernlessbastard · 15 days
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first time using this ask thing heh and i don’t rly know what to say, but, as a casual tntduo lover to another tntduo lover, i desperately kindly ask what are your favourite fics? dont rly mind if its suggestive/smut, id still like to show dem authors love and support. as a trade offer, ill leave some fic recs on my next ask hehe :]
anyways been following u for a while now (on insta) and id like to say ur art brings me immense joy and never fails to inspire me. hope u and your partner have a nice day! bubye !
i know this aint a prompt or idea or concept but u just seem like a cool person that i want to interact with :]
Hiiiiii
My guy, I am so sorry, but I hardly have any recommendations...
Why? Well, I went to my AO3 account, and like a solid 1/3 of my history was completely deleted - as in the works were deleted. Additionally, I haven't been reading much lately, so I have no newer titles, unfortunately. But here's the couple I have:
there's always this thing that we're becoming. Brilliantly written, genuinely gorgeous, in character, etc - it is smut though (top notch smut, though)
I'm pretty sure I enjoyed TntDuo Content I Don't Want To Attach My Username To too - also smut lmao
Agape - NOT smut, for once, but never finished lmao
There's also this fic I am completely not connected to ha ha it's called Losing Face and while it is unfinished I heard that the author is doing this like kinda rewrite kinda reimagining sort of thing where tldr it's the same concept just executed better ha haa👀👀👀
Another one is real life au - it's VERY heavy though. Like, I had to stop reading it at some point cause it was legitimately just hitting too hard. It is well written, and it's supposed to evoke those emotions, but just be VERY careful with it. VERY tldr is that it's about Schlatt - Q's abusive ex - becoming Wilbur's sugar daddy. It is VERY dead dove do not eat, and deals with SA and s-cidal ideation. The fic is called Sugar Lips, but I won't put the link here cause seriously, it's fucking heavy - and in a very realistic way, not the fantasy "eating someone's heart while they're alive" type of thing, but in a "this happens to real people in real life" type of way. Idk if you still want to read it dm me for the link but yeah, just please stay safe, guys
And then there's one work which I cannot find for the life of me - I don't know if it got deleted or something but if it wasn't, tntblr please help me find it It was about Wilbur coming to Quackity when his stitches break. Once the guy stitches him up, there's a whole scene when Wilbur has a breakdown and Quackity helps him through it. Then I believe it's kinda this sort of "montage" of how Wilbur and Q kinda grow closer, and (spoiler alert) it ends with some event during which Sapnap and Karl show up and there's arguing and at some point Wilbur and Sapnap start fighting (physically) and Wilbur ends up beating Sapnap to death. It was so well written, and it was one of the earliest fics i've read, and i haven't been able to find it for a long, long time now
Anyway send me asks about absolutely anything, don't worry about it being "right" or anything - all asks are welcome, be it HCs, prompts, ideas, or just some appreciation, sharing something you like, a question to me, etc :]
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yanderes-galore · 6 months
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May I request a short or headcanons (romantic/platonic) for Sombra Overwatch where she completely isolates Darling from the internet/society/anyone who can help, in an "off the grid" sort of way before revealing herself when darling has nowhere to run? (maybe she frames darling for some crime idk)
Thank you for these btw, even if this one doesn't work out I love your writing in general!!
Oooo! We really need more Yandere Sombra. Anyways, I changed the plot to be post kidnapping if that's fine? I have a banner for her but decided I want to do a GIF for this post. Also left the context of this fic ambiguous, was just trying to get an idea I had across!
Hope you like it :)
Vanished
Yandere! Sombra Short
Pairing: Romantic/Platonic
Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Obsession, Stalking, Kidnapping, Isolation, Drugging mention, Forced companionship/relationship.
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It wasn't that hard for Sombra to track down your files. After all, that's how she kept an eye on you. It's how she began to grow attached up to this point.
She had used every piece of information online to find you. However, now she has no use for it anymore. As a result the hacker backs everything up on a drive before starting her plan.
It took a long time but Sombra managed to track down every piece of information you had... and deleted it. It was like you never existed by the time the hacker was done. It's as though you vanished into thin air.
She grins while looking at one of her screens.
Yes... like you vanished. That way no one will try to look for you. How could they find someone if there's no information on them? How could they know if someone even existed without any sort of footprint?
Sombra has dreamed of this day ever since she saw you. She knew you had to be quite the interesting individual. With some bribes and hacking through trivial security systems, Sombra was able to learn everything about you.
Even better, when she was ready, she was able to put her stolen tech to good use.
This obsession of hers took time to plan. She had to find a secure building to hide away in. That's fine, she has friends who can hook her up. If not, she'll blackmail some poor fool.
Then Sombra managed to get her hands on some meds with her connections. After that she had already gathered the information she needed on your residence. It was just as simple as paying a visit.
Poor thing... you never knew what hit you. You were drugged by the invisible hacker before being dragged away. Afterwards you were hidden... like some secret experiment.
Deception and manipulation have been skills Sombra has picked up since she was young. It's made her able to get what she wants. Most of the time it's knowledge...
This time it's you.
After she got the main prize all she had to worry about was clean up. Which leads her to now, mass deleting files that she's already backed up. She's already capable of threatening and blackmailing anyone who knows about you.
With a few clicks and codes... soon the world has no clue about you.
Sombra sighs in relief once she finishes. It's perfect. You're in a secure location and no one knows where you went or if you even exist!
It didn't matter who you were. Rich or poor... famous or average... Sombra had managed to do it. With some lies about your fate and some clever tricks, Sombra managed to keep you to herself.
The hacker feels pleased with herself when she shuts things down. She then leaves the room to enter another more secure one. She can't hide the smug smile on her face.
"Hola, tesoro." Sombra purrs, strolling over to you and lifting your head with her fingers. "It's about time we properly meet."
She frowns at the fear in your eyes, it's expected but disappointing. There's a cloth gag in your mouth and you're sitting with a cuff on a bed. Soon you'll learn to roam without it.
Not like you can escape anyways.
"Welcome to your new home." Sombra continues, kissing your forehead.
"Only you and I know about it... and I plan to keep it that way."
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the-boy-meets-evil · 11 months
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tell me how it got this way | ch. 6
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pairing: jungkook x f.reader, hoseok x f.reader genre: fwb to lovers/friends to lovers, love triangle | non-idol!au, angst, smut, est. relationships rating: 18+, minors dni warnings: mentions of past issues (so brief), lots of kissing, explicit smut (seriously minors DNI), fingering (f. receiving), orgasm denial (f. receiving), unprotected vaginal sex (they've talked about it previously but don't do this), slight marking, begging, mentions of multiple orgasms, cream pie kinda, mention of oral sex (f. receiving), mention of shower sex, mention of bathroom sex, mingyu makes an appearance as the shithead roommate, i think that's it? word count: ~9.7k (idk what to say, it got away from me)
a/n: SHE IS FINALLY DONE! this is the fic that completely got away from me, ended up being much harder to finish than i imagined, and went some place completely different from the original idea. this was definitely not the ending i imagined, but sometimes you just have to go with what feels natural rather than forcing something that doesn't. i hope you enjoy it and sorry for the length.
prev. | masterlist
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With a new day also comes the realization that you don’t get another pass. Today you don’t get to just tell people you don’t want to talk about the conversation with Hoseok and actually have them respect that. It’s time for you to start figuring out what it is that you feel and process your emotions. To use Jimin’s words, you need to start acting like an adult that’s published multiple books and earned a streaming deal. Which is kind of terrifying. All you want to do is pull the covers over your head and pretend the world doesn’t exist. 
You’re seriously considering that when you roll over to your side and Jungkook isn’t there anymore. And your feelings about him being gone are complicated. The rational part of you knows that he has his own life, his own things to do, he doesn’t owe you his free time. But, it was really nice just to fall asleep cuddled up with him, no sex or talking, just comfort. It’s also a little gut-wrenching to think he might have left without a word. That’s no who you are, is it?
Then Jungkook walks back into the room, still in just his briefs, with a mug in each hand. You sit up with a smile and accept the cup when he hands it over to you. It smells amazing, which isn’t a surprise. This man is good at everything, including something as simple as making the perfect cup of coffee. Surprisingly, though, he never takes the credit. Just reminds you that it’s easy to make good coffee when you’ve got a full coffee bar in your apartment. And because Jungkook is a saint, he tells you that he’s ordered breakfast from your favorite place. 
For all the time you and him spend together, it feels like it’s been ages since you had a day like this: both free from work or other plans, a full day just to be lazy together. You don’t even have to talk about it, you know you’re both on the same page when he asks if you have anything to do and says he doesn’t either. Seems really happy to be able to spend the day with you too. 
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Okay, so maybe you did sneak an extra day of not having to talk about your feelings after all. It’s not like you were going to answer text messages when you were with Jungkook and it wasn’t like he asked about it either. Which suited you just fine. 
Today, though, you agree to go see Yoongi and Jimin. Without the special guest this time, because you really do want to figure out how you were feeling. And to do that, you really needed to take him out of the equation. As amazing as he is as a friend on top of everything else, this just isn’t fair. It’s not fair to ask for advice now. Besides, Jungkook has been at your place since two nights ago and Mingyu, his roommate, is getting whiny. Not that it’s unusual, but it does mean Jungkook should go home.
You suggest going to Yoongi and Jimin’s apartment since they’re both there, which annoys Jimin since he was excited to get out of the house. Even if it was only to come to your apartment. Your offer to bring coffee and pastries, anything he wants, which quiets him back down again. There’s also a strategy in it. Part of you isn’t entirely sure what your friends are going to say and going to their apartment gives you the chance to run, if you need to. 
You don’t, thankfully. 
Both listen intently as you relay your memories from the conversation the previous day. Jimin, as usual, interjects more than Yoongi does. He wants to know things about Hoseok’s body language, facial expressions, if he leaned in or fidgeted in his seat. And just as usual, Yoongi lets his boyfriend pepper you with questions throughout the story, only listening intently. It makes you a little nervous, though, because you know that he’s going to have something to say and you’re really not sure what it’s going to be. 
“I think this is a good thing,” Yoongi finally says, even earns an eyebrow raise from Jimin. 
“You do?” both you and Jimin ask together.
“I do,” Yoongi responds. “Even if you haven’t been talking about it, this fight with him and losing that friendship has been hanging over your head for the past 5 years.”
“He has a point,” Jimin agrees. 
“I remember when we met, it couldn’t have been much after the fight, I’d say a year max,” Yoongi starts and you nod. “I didn’t know what happened except that there was this pain completely covering you.”
“Wow, thanks Yoon,” you say, sarcasm kicking in as a defense.
“Will you just…listen?” he asks. There’s something in his tone that makes you roll your lips together and nod. “You wore the pain like armor, still do sometimes, but wouldn’t it be nice to not have to anymore? Wouldn’t it be nice to be free?”
“Yeah, I mean of course it would,” you say, letting out a sigh in the process.
“You’ve got that chance,” Yoongi says. “Jimin and I can’t tell you what you feel…” 
“Though I’m happy to offer opinions,” Jimin interjects, only to be silenced by a look from Yoongi. 
“But you have a chance to get closure, real closure, and move forward from one of the worst things you went through,” Yoongi says. “So figure out what you feel and talk to them both.”
“Both?” The surprise is clear in your voice and on your face.
“Oh honey,” Jimin says almost like he’s pitying you. “Jungkook?” 
“I’m not sure…” you start and Jimin is even quicker to cut you off. 
“I don’t wanna hear about how it’s just casual or you’re not actually in a relationship because it’s bullshit,” Jimin says. Which catches you off guard, a bit, because he doesn’t usually swear like that in your direction. 
“I know things have gotten deeper,” you concede. 
“He was worried about you the other night, when we went out,” Jimin admits and you realize you never actually asked Jungkook about the text. “He texted me…”
“When did you get his number?” Yoongi asks and Jimin smiles. 
“Aww is my Yoonie jealous?” Jimin taunts, earning nothing more than a huff in response. 
“You know she’s my best friend, right?” Yoongi grumbles under his breath. 
“Yes, my grumpy little cat, I know she’s your best friend. We exchanged numbers a while ago because I put him in touch with someone I knew about a job,” Jimin says and continues before either you or Yoongi can ask any questions about the vague answer. “Anyway, he texted me after he’d texted you a few times. Just wanted to make sure you were okay and nothing had gone wrong. I told him we were out and things were fine, but that I was sure you wouldn’t mind if he went over anyway.”
Not what you were expecting. Although you’re not sure what you really expected. The whole thing has been different than you were expecting. 
“Since he has a key and we do not,” Jimin adds and you laugh. 
“Yoongi does have a key,” you say and laugh harder when Jimin playfully smacks the older man. 
“It’s for emergencies, Jiminie,” Yoongi reasons, unbothered. 
“I’m gonna need my own key, then,” Jimin says. 
“Anyway,” Yoongi adds, trying to reign in the chaos. “Yes, both. You deserve the chance to get closure with Hoseok and move forward. But Jungkook also deserves to know where exactly you and him stand.” 
It’s a completely fair point, entirely understandable to lay it out like that. Only one problem. You really don’t have any idea about the answer. Despite admitting this, Yoongi stands firm that Jimin can’t help because you need to work it out on your own. Can’t even offer his thoughts or a little suggestion. Yoongi puts his foot firmly down. And he’s right, isn’t he? This isn’t something for them to figure out. This is your life and they’re your relationships. You can’t have someone else tell you how to feel.  
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You take the time that you haven’t given yourself to process. Time to sit alone with yourself and your thoughts, no distractions or outside opinions. It’s not as scary as you thought it would be. There’s a strange kind of comfort in it. Maybe that’s a sign you’ve grown. Not a lot, there’s no need to go crazy, but at least enough to examine where you are. 
In the past, it might’ve taken you weeks, or even months, to process your feelings. Largely because you never actually stopped to process them. Now that you’re actually giving yourself the time and space, it’s only a couple of days. Well, it’s not that you think you’ve figured it all out. You just know Yoongi was right. You need to talk to Jungkook and you need some form of closure with Hoseok. Since you haven’t seen Jungkook in a few days, you figure inviting him over will at least get you moving. 
The best thing about Jungkook, and there is a lot to pick from, is that he always goes with the flow that you set. He’s supportive and kind and caring without being overbearing. The problem with that, though, is you never really noticed when the roles changed. Never noticed how much more observant he became. Never noticed that you know him as well as yourself. Never noticed that you depend on him more than anyone. 
He listens to everything you have to say, keeps his face carefully neutral while you relay the conversation you had days ago with Yoongi and Jimin. If he feels any kind of way about you processing without including him, he doesn’t show it. His face is thoughtful, at times, but you’re not entirely sure what he thinks. There’s something for a second when you say that you had to figure out what your feelings for Hoseok are. And it’s gone just as quickly. 
“You know he’s the reason nothing has ever worked, right?” Jungkook asks and you look for some sign he’s upset or hurt.
“I’ve always said that. That him throwing our friendship aside has made it hard to trust people,” you respond automatically.
“That’s not what I meant.” His voice is soft and low. 
You want to look down and avoid his eyes, but something keeps your eyes on his. Maybe it’s that you don’t know exactly what’s going to happen now that he’s said it aloud. Maybe it’s wondering if this is the last time you’re going to see that warm smile directed at you, the one that always makes you want to smile in return. You don’t know if everything is going to change.
You do know exactly what he means, though. You’ve known since Hoseok appeared back in your life. And maybe it’s not exactly what you expected. Hoseok’s sudden reappearance meant dealing with a lot of emotions and pain that were unclear 5 years ago. Emotions that are both clearer now and still not crystal clear. But struggling internally is very different than having this person you care so much for pointing it out. It scares you. Just how much has Jungkook realized? 
“I don’t know what to say, Kookie,” you admit, finally looking down. You pull your lower lip between your teeth. 
In a second, he’s closing the gap between you and tilting your head gently up to meet his eyes. He smiles softly, the same as always. “There’s nothing to say, I get it.” 
“How long have you known?” You have no idea why this is the question you ask in your hushed tone, but it somehow seems important.
Jungkook is quiet for a moment, like he’s thinking about what to say because he’s not usually one to say much unless he has time to think it through. This is different though. He seems to want to answer. “I guess, well I think I knew there was something when we first started hanging out. I was sure at that gala you brought me to.”
“I’m so sorry,” you repeat and he’s shaking his head.
“We’ve always known what this was, you and me, and it’s always been great,” Jungkook says and you start to open your mouth. You’re not actually sure that he realizes what you want to say. “Don’t worry. You never hurt me. Just don’t fuck it up now, okay?”
“What?” 
Jungkook smiles again and shakes his head. “Tell him. Tell him for real this time, before it’s too late for you to say something, before he disappears to give us a chance.”
“To give...us? I don’t…” You’re sputtering the words out, so confused with not only what Jungkook is saying, but with your emotions as well. Your head is a mess again and you’re not really sure what you’re supposed to say. This isn’t how this was supposed to go.
“I could see it on his face, the last time I saw him, he thinks I’m good for you,” Jungkook says.
“You are,” you say. “You know me so much better than I ever realized, so much better than I think either of us planned.”
“I know I am and I know I’m also the only one you’ve let stay around for this long. It’s just time for you to take a chance at getting what you want, even if you’re scared,” Jungkook says. Part of you really wants to disagree and doesn’t. Chicken.
“Can I ask you something I have no right to ask?” you ask. Jungkook arches his eyebrow at your question, clearly intrigued, but possibly deciding if it’s a good idea. 
“Sure,” he says, curiosity winning over.
“Were you seeing anyone else? Like while we were doing...whatever this was?” you ask. The answer somehow feels important to you. So much so that you hold your breath.
“Casually dating, I think is the word,” Jungkook offers.
“You’re cute, but I think we both know we sucked at casual,” you say and Jungkook chuckles. 
“Did we?” Jungkook asks.
“I mean, yeah? Jungkook, you literally show up at my apartment with coffee or breakfast when I’m hungover. You have a key, for fuck’s sake. I’ve asked you to come to events with me. You bring me to events with you. We hang out and do things without it being sexual at all,” you say and he looks like he’s about to say something. “Which I love, to be clear. I wouldn’t change anything about how we’ve been.”
“I wouldn’t change it either,” Jungkook says and is thoughtful again for a moment. “No, though, I wasn’t.”
“You weren’t?” Somehow this surprises you, even with how bad you were at casual.
“Nah, it was just you,” he says and you nod. “How about you?”
“Please, I always was clear I wasn’t seeing anyone else,” you say. 
The conversation is just so casual, so easy. You know you should be able to think of another word to describe things with him, but you can’t. He’s such a steady presence in your life that you’re not really sure how to go forward with his advice, even though you know he’s right. It’s weird to think you might have a Jungkook-sized hole in your life soon. He’s made himself at home and you’re not really sure you’re ready to lose that safety net.
But it’s not fair to anyone. It’s not fair to Jungkook, even if he says that he’s really not looking to be in something serious with labels and expectations. In the back of your mind, you do know that the two of you have basically been in a relationship for months without calling it that. This conversation with Hoseok is just one that you need to have. You know that there were more than just friendly feelings simmering beneath everything that happened. Not everyone gets closure, but you can and you’re going to try.
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You’re nervous. Like really nervous. Like the kind of nervous where your leg is jiggling almost uncontrollably and you react every time the door opens. Okay, maybe that’s because you had entirely too much caffeine in your system. This had been the compromise though. Overly caffeinated was fine, apparently having a drink (or four, who’s counting) was a bad idea. You were internally cursing at taking Jimin’s advice on doing this sober. What did he know anyway?
(Jimin is in a happy relationship, you remind yourself, with someone you never thought would settle into something as easily as he had with Jimin. Okay, so maybe Jimin knows something, but you’d rather die before admitting that because he’s smug enough already, thank you very much.)
So yeah, the caffeine isn’t helping the nerves. Knowing Hoseok is on his way and you’re going to tell him how you used to feel is worse, though. You know there’s a part of you that has feelings for him now. You know that’s why you fell into bed with him. This seems like something he should know, or should have known. Or maybe he does know and he just hasn’t said anything. Feels bad about Jungkook. Which you do too, honestly.
No, you need to stay focused and you’re cursing yourself that the only time you can ever be early seems to be when you’re meeting Hoseok. It’s giving you too much time to think and re-think. Maybe you should just get up, text Hoseok that you’re sorry but something came up with the series and you’d have to catch him another time. (Which, you then remind yourself, is a terrible idea because one of Hoseok’s dance students is in the series so he could definitely tell Hoseok nothing came up. Ugh.)
And then he walks in, just walks through the door like there isn’t anything to worry about and nothing is going to change. Which maybe nothing will change for either of you, that thought has been on your mind constantly. Jungkook seems sure that Hoseok has feelings for you and seems sure that you have some kind of feelings for him. Maybe he’s right.
Hoseok’s smile upon seeing you sitting there is instant and genuine, that warm smile that’s always felt like it was only for his favorite people. Once upon a time, you knew you’d meant the world to him. Now? You aren’t sure. 
As soon as he had a coffee of his own, he joined you, sitting down looking suddenly apprehensive and something else you can’t place. “It’s good to see you.”
“Thanks for coming to see me,” you say, not sure exactly how to act. 
“I wasn’t sure, after that whole thing about the TV series,” Hoseok says and you sigh. 
You apologize for that, because you know it wasn’t ever a serious thought that Hoseok would do something like that. He isn’t underhanded or calculating. Sure, he hurt you all those years earlier, but getting close to you again just to help someone get a role in a TV show? No. That wasn’t Hoseok. You’re falling over yourself to make sure he understands just how sorry you are for it. In typical Hoseok fashion, he accepts it easily. 
“It was really bad timing,” Hoseok admits, “running into you out like that, us being drunk, ending up back at my place.” 
“That wasn’t exactly what I signed up for,” you say. 
“No, I know, and then with Jungkook, I know you said it wasn’t serious. But, I see how you and him are together. He’s good for you,” Hoseok says, kind of rambling in an uncharacteristic way. 
“Yeah, he has been really good for me,” you say. “I guess…this has all been confusing and I’m not really sure what the future is for him and me.” 
He’s surprised, clearly. He was sincere in saying how you and Jungkook were good together. You think you see something else too and you’re not sure what it is. When did you get so bad at reading his emotions? There was a time you knew his face better than your own.
“What happened?” Hoseok asks. “I don’t ever remember seeing you like that with anyone, even if I have missed years of your life.”
That gets a sigh out of you. “Jungkook is different. He’s kind and patient, listens even when my mouth can’t keep up with my brain, which seems to be a lot. He supports my mood swings while I’m writing. He’s really good at calming me down when I want to throw my computer out the window and quit writing.”
“Which also probably happens a lot,” Hoseok jokes and you can’t completely fight a laugh.
“I’d like to say it’s better now, but it’s not,” you concede.
“So why aren’t you sure?” Hoseok asks.
“Why did you pop back up?” you ask. “Why now?”
Hoseok lets you answer his question with a question. 
“I don’t know,” Hoseok says and thinks about it. “I knew I made a mistake, that I fucked up for what I said then. I think, eventually, she knew it too. I couldn’t get why she was so threatened by our friendship, she couldn’t get why I didn’t get it. I had all this regret and I didn’t know how to apologize.”
“I’m sorry for being a dickhead is usually a good place to start,” you offer, and Hoseok levels you with a look. “Sorry.”
“We finally broke up and I wanted to call you the minute she left. I just felt like that would feel off? Like ‘hey, we just broke up, you were right and I’m sorry’ just felt lame,” Hoseok says. 
“I want to say it wouldn’t have been, but I also don’t think I would’ve been in the right headspace to hear it,” you acknowledge.
“I figured,” Hoseok sighs. “So I waited, and then you had a book drop and some time went by. I was getting ready to reach out, when I looked at your Instagram. The last two posts were a super heartfelt post about a friend of yours that you referred to as your best friend and then a picture with some really attractive guy looking at you like you were his whole world.”
You thought you remembered the timeframe and who you’d been dating. Seokmin had been wonderful and beautiful and cared deeply for you, a feeling you weren’t able to return completely. 
“The post with Yoongi, who I had to fight to even get pictures with for the record, must’ve been hard for you to see,” you acknowledge and Hoseok looks puzzled. “The one gushing about him being my best friend?”
“Oh, sure, that was the harder of the two,” Hoseok says and for one of the first times in your life, you feel like he’s lying. 
“Still, though, if it’s when I’m thinking, I dated that guy like over a year and a half ago,” you say. “And, to be fair, it wasn’t as serious as it probably looked.”
“I just, I don’t know, I missed you. I was at my sister’s with her and her husband and I just, I missed you,” Hoseok said. 
“I saw pictures from her wedding, she looked stunning,” you say and then, almost without a thought, “and so did you. I mean, you looked really handsome.”
The tips of Hoseok’s ears flushed a bit, another something out of character for him. 
“She was so upset. She thought I’d have patched it up with you by then and you’d have been there. She nearly told me not to come unless you were there too,” Hoseok says. 
“I missed you too,” you say and sigh because you know you have to just say it. 
“I’m surprised you thought about me at all,” Hoseok says quietly. 
“Well I tried not to, it worked a lot. Not nearly as much as I’d have liked. But artists are supposed to suffer, right?” You laugh a little without any humor. “Look, I have to put my cards on the table,” Hoseok says. “All those years ago, the things I was saying. I realized later I had it backwards. I’d been in love with you since we slept together that summer. I just, I didn’t really know what to do with my emotions and you were so sure about pretending it hadn’t happened. I’m so sorry for everything that I said and for everything that it put you through. I know it doesn’t make up for it now and I can accept that. I fucked up. Plain and simple. And I’d be willing to spend however long I needed to showing you that I’m so sorry. That’s why the relationship finally ended, though, she realized I was still in love with you. It wasn’t just that I felt bad for what I said, which I still do, it was that I couldn’t help from bringing you up, especially when anyone talked about you as a writer. I was still in love with you and she felt like she couldn’t compete.”
“What?” you ask, unable to form other words.
“I’m so sorry to dump this on you now,” Hoseok says and you sigh.
“You weren’t alone and she wasn’t entirely wrong,” you say and his eyes lock on yours. “I did have feelings for you back then, super complicated feelings that I didn’t really know how to process. Or even what they were.”
“You’re talking in the past tense,” Hoseok comments and you bite your lower lip.
“I am, aren’t I?” you ask idly.
“I’m too late,” Hoseok realizes and you look away. 
“Hobi, I do have feelings for you, that drunken night wouldn’t have happened if I didn’t,” you say and chuckle. “We’re way too old to act like drunkenly falling into bed is meaningless.”
“No, I agree there,” Hoseok says. “But?”
“I think I just walked away from someone I shouldn’t have so we could have this conversation,” you say. 
“I think you did too,” Hoseok admits after a moment and you can see how hard it is on him.
“You don’t get it though,” you say and shake your head. “It was never serious with Jungkook. Never something we labeled. He let me walk away to come talk to you. He encouraged it. He doesn’t want more with me.”
“Of course he did,” Hoseok chuckles. “What was he supposed to do?”
“Ask me to stay?” you ask and Hoseok looks amused. 
“You don’t see the way he looks at you, at least the way he did at that Gala. It took me a long time to approach you because of it. I was already there when you and him walked in,” Hoseok says, which really catches you off guard. You’d assumed he was a late arrival or at least that he hadn’t seen you yet. “You were sighing and I could just imagine you talking about how much you didn’t want to be there, but his eyes just stayed on you. So fond. And then there’s the way he apparently looks at you when he shows up to the set.”
“How do you…?” you ask and then realize. “Chan, of course.”
“He didn’t know what he was doing, just mentioned a guy with tattoos that seemed crazy about you showing up pretty often,” Hoseok says. “Chan’s so obsessed with your work and so happy about the project. He was all starstruck talking about the guy that looked at you like you hung the moon while you were just drinking your coffee.”
“Yeah, well, I need my caffeine,” you say. What else are you supposed to say? Your brain wants to process it all and wants to believe it. It’s just, it goes against everything you thought you knew.
“We were too late and that’s something I have to live with. And maybe it’s for the best, we’re not 22 anymore,” he says. “But you don’t have to be too late for this.”
“I’m so sorry, but I have to go,” you say and rush out of the coffee shop. 
Even though you spend a lot of time at your apartment, you still spend some time at Jungkook’s apartment too. The downside is just that he lives with a roommate. Not a downside really, because his roommate is great, it’s just that sometimes he complains about how single he feels around you and Jungkook. Which you didn’t really understand until now. It’s like now you can see exactly how you’ve been the entire time. You’re not sure how you missed it.
And it’s Mingyu that answers the door. You forgot that he’s like 7 feet tall as you’re looking up at him in the doorway. He looks confused for a second before he’s leaning against the doorframe with his arms crossed.  
“Long time, no see,” he says casually.
“I know, is Jungkook here?” you ask and he shakes his head.
“I thought you’d be with your new boyfriend,” Mingyu says and you frown at him. Frown because he didn’t answer your question. It doesn’t even occur to you that he wouldn’t know about Hoseok unless Jungkook was talking about it.
“Please, Mingyu, is he here?” you ask again.
Mingyu sighs and steps aside so that you can come in. “He’s not, but you can wait.” 
“Do you know when he’s gonna be back?” you ask.
Mingyu opens his mouth, probably to say something sarcastic, and then stops himself. Which is weird. Weirder still, his face softens.
“I really wanna fuck with you, but I’m hoping that it’s a good thing that you’re here,” he says. “He legit just went around the corner to get coffee so he should be back really soon.”
“Thank you,” you say. And you mean it.
“Can I say something?” he asks, seems to be fighting with himself. 
“You’ve never hesitated before,” you answer. Which is true, you don’t know Mingyu that well, but Jungkook’s roommate has never been shy around you.
“You mean a lot to him,” Mingyu says. “I know he’ll never come out and say it like that and he’d probably kill me for telling you, but you do. I don’t think there’s anything he wouldn’t do for you. I’ve known him for years and he’s never been like this about anyone.”
“Yeah, I think I’m realizing that,” you say, earning a smile from Mingyu. 
“Just give him a shot,” Mingyu says.
He’s about to say something else when you both hear a key in the lock, both turn to look at the door when the handle turns, both watch to see the reaction of the man walking in. 
“Gyu, I got you a coffee too even though you’re a complete…oh!” Jungkook says, catching sight of you in his living room. “What are you doing here?” 
“Sorry, it’s just…well, I,” you start, tumbling over your words and miss Mingyu shaking his head.
“No, sorry, that came out wrong. I’m happy you’re here, I just figured you’d be with Hoseok,” Jungkook says and his face crinkles. “Don’t tell me that idiot turned you down.” 
“Thanks for the coffee,” Mingyu interrupts. “I’m gonna head out, actually.” 
“I thought we were…” Jungkook starts, adorably confused.
Mingyu only claps him on the shoulder. “Another time, trust me.”
“Can we sit?” you ask and Jungkook looks unsure but he nods. 
“I’m sorry I didn’t get coffee for you too, I didn’t realize,” Jungkook starts.
“No, it’s fine, I definitely don’t need more caffeine,” you say.
He laughs, “well that’s a first.”
You take a deep breath and try not to watch the range of emotions on Jungkook’s face because you’re scared you’ll lose your nerve. 
“I’m sorry,” you say quietly to your hands. 
“For what? Did he turn you down?” Jungkook asks. You can hear the protective side of him coming out.
You ignore the second question. “For everything that’s happened since that Gala I dragged you to. All the times you’ve had to pick up the pieces, all the times you’ve had to comfort me, all the advice you’ve had to give about another guy.”
“Oh,” Jungkook says softly. “Well, that’s okay.”
That makes you look up. “No, it’s not. You don’t deserve that. You don’t ever deserve to think that you’re anything less than amazing. I know I’ve made you feel like a second choice, like a back-up plan, you’re not.”
“Hey, life is complicated, right? I’m a big boy, I knew what I was getting into,” Jungkook assures you.  
“Still though,” you say.
“What happened with…him?” Jungkook asks. It’s the first time his careful mask has slipped and it gives you hope. Hope you’re not sure you have a right to feel. 
“He told me he did have feelings for me, both back then and now,” you say. 
Jungkook, usually so composed with you, lets some of his frustration come through his next words. “So what are you doing here?”
It’s harsher than he usually speaks to you and you know you completely deserve it. You need to actually get the words out and let him make a decision for himself for once, without putting you first. 
“I realized that it wasn’t him that I wanted,” you offer, so quietly that you’re scared he won’t hear. But he does, of course he does. 
“I don’t…” Jungkook begins.
“I think my feelings towards him have always been complicated, tied up in how he was the first real friend I’d ever had. There’s a part of me that did feel some kind of love for him and definitely some kind of physical connection to him,” you say and pause. You need to take a breath to keep going. To steady your nerves. “It wasn’t until I was sitting across from him that I realized, I’m not 22 anymore. Maybe it would’ve been right then, maybe it wouldn’t. But it isn’t right now and I don’t wanna be chasing something from years ago. Love doesn’t have to be that complicated.”
“I…no, it doesn’t have to be complicated,” he agrees. 
“So he realized he was too late and I realized it wasn’t him I should be talking to,” you say and look up into Jungkook’s soft brown eyes. You’re not even sure he’s breathing with how intently he’s watching you. And hopeful, so hopeful. “It’s you that I want, Jungkook, if I haven’t fucked this up so bad that you can’t…”
You don’t get to finish your words before his lips crash against yours. And the feeling is warm and comfortable and electric all at once. It’s right in a way nothing else has been before. He just fits together with you like it was always supposed to be this way.
“I’m so sorry, Jungkook,” you say between kisses. “I am so insanely sorry for everything I’ve put you through.”
“It’s okay,” he assures you, not wanting to break apart. 
You have to pull away though, his face between your hands. “It’s not and I want you to know that you’re my first choice. This, right here with you, is all I need.”
“I know,” he says. “And fuck, I’m so happy you’re here. I know we have a lot to figure out but can we just…can we do it tomorrow? I just want today with you.”
How can you deny him that? After everything that’s happened between the two of you, you really do feel like this is the least you can do. He’s also far more perceptive than you’ve given him credit for, so maybe it’s okay to just follow his lead this time. 
Kissing Jungkook now feels…different. Not bad, just new somehow. Which is kind of crazy because you’ve kissed him thousands of times over the months you’ve been together. There’s just something about your brain and your heart finally seeming to be on the same page that makes everything feel more. More feelings, more happiness, more excitement. You didn’t think that kissing someone could get any better. It has, though, and you’re not sure you’re going to be able to catch your breath if you keep going. 
Another amazing thing about someone who knows you as well as Jungkook is that you don’t always need words. When he stands and grabs your hand, you follow him into his bedroom without even questioning it. You watch, eyes probably full of some nauseating level of affection, as he sits on the edge of the bed and reaches out for you. There’s an equal amount of affection as you let him pull you in and settle on his lap, one knee on either side of him pressing into the mattress. 
There’s never really been a rush with Jungkook, at least not since the first few times. Yeah, there have been plenty of rushed times, but just as many slow. This is somehow different, just like the kiss. And that makes sense, doesn’t it? Because you have all the time in the world. All the time to be together and figure each other out even more. Jungkook may have the edge there. 
His hands are firm on your hips, keeping you anchored in place, stopping you from rolling your hips against his for the friction you crave. The control is  a stark contrast from the softness of his lips moving in time with yours and it’s making you a little dizzy. You really thought you knew this man inside and out, yet here he is surprising you again. 
Even more dizzying is the realization that you’re in so much deeper than you ever thought. It’s more than just caring about him, even though you do, probably more than you’ve ever really cared about a partner. It’s this inescapable feeling of being safe and on the edge at the same time. Knowing that if you fall, he’s going to catch you. It’s so glaringly obvious that you see why your friends were so insistent that you include him in the equation. 
Just when you think you might explode, Jungkook pulls apart from you and studies your face. His fingers graze along the skin at your waist, playing with the hem of your shirt. You nod and lift your hands up as he grips the hem to pull it over your head. His fingers are so light across your skin when he unclasps your bra and slides the straps away. 
Gentle. He’s so gentle. Like he’s telling you that it’s okay, that you’re exactly where you’re supposed to be. Like he’s not sure this is real. It is, though. As his lips move down your neck, you can’t help the sigh that escapes your lips. The trails his kisses down to your breast, slow and deliberate. The way his warm breath meets your skin makes you suck in a breath. 
He’s always been generous, always wanted to be exactly what you wanted, but this feels like even more than that. It feels like a side of him you should’ve known and yet didn’t quite. It feels like a last little bit of him that had been tucked away, just waiting. And that’s kind of exciting, to think that someone you thought you already knew completely can still surprise you like this. It makes all those hangups you thought you had about relationships seem insignificant.
And he’s getting a side of you that is a little different, too. There’s something about him that makes you needy, but it’s never been like this. All you want is more of him, more of everything he’s doing. You try to take advantage when he’s not anchoring you quite so steadily, roll your hips against his. While you’re rewarded with a low groan, he also puts a hand firmly back on your hip to keep you from doing it again.
“Please Jungkookie,” you whine, finally relenting. You will absolutely beg if it gets you what you want.
His eyes study you, so full of affection that you might combust. You don’t even realize he’s slid his hands under your ass until he’s standing up and you gasp. It’s just for a moment, though, so he can lay you back onto his bed. Almost immediately, you go to remove your pants and his hands are on yours, stopping you before you even get to the button. The next second, he’s pinning you down, one hand holding both of yours above your head, the other swiftly undoing your pants. If this is the way you go, a squirming mess beneath this beautiful man, it all might be worth it, honestly. 
Jungkook pulls himself back off of you so he can pull your pants down, taking your underwear along with them. Even though you’ve seen him get undressed more times than you can count, you still find yourself watching as he removes his own clothes. Eyes taking in the recently added color of his tattoos, the lines of his body, the way his muscles contract as he moves. 
He’s back almost on top of you, slightly offset so he doesn’t put too much weight on you, but it’s still a surprise to you when he starts kissing you again. You need something more, some sort of relief before you go insane. And you’re just about to beg for it when one of his fingers slides along your folds. So this is the game he’s playing, teasing you with just his fingers and making your back arch in response. You want to protest, want to tell him there’s plenty of time to go slow, but you just need now. With his lips so insistent on yours, though, that’s hard. 
Thankfully, Jungkook isn’t cruel. After running his finger along your entrance, collecting some of the wetness there, he slides a single finger inside you. It’s so slow, painfully slow, but it’s something. It’s a start to the relief that you need. Okay, maybe he is a little cruel. His finger slides in as slowly as his kisses, which are all languid motions. Any part of you that wants to fight back sinks into the mattress as he licks into your mouth. 
It’s honestly the most relaxed you’ve ever felt with someone like this. There’s a part of your brain that fights against that feeling for a second before you realize that it’s been there all along. This feeling of complete comfort and safety. You were just too caught up in the idea that it wasn’t that serious to realize Jungkook had made a home in your heart. Too caught up in your past bullshit to realize this person had carefully broken through every defense without you realizing it.
But, unfortunately, Jungkook is still kind of a shit. Through your moaning, he picks up the pace, something you immediately encourage. A chorus of nonsense mixed together with your appreciation. He had two fingers inside you and his thumb on your clit. All you feel is that you’re close, so close.
Until he stops. Just completely stills himself when you’re on the precipice. Ready to come on his fingers and body still wound tight.
“Not yet babe,” he says, eyes alight.
“I was so close,” you whine.
“I know,” he says, just confirming what a demon he is. He captures your next protest with a kiss and you tangle your hand in his hair without thinking. Anchor him to you. Take back some small, tiny bit of control.
It’s all too fast when he pulls away again and you recognize he’s looking for a condom. So you just tell him not to bother. You mostly haven’t been using one lately because you’re protected and you know both of you are clean. It’s something you’ve both talked about more than once. 
And thank fucking god he seems like he’s on the same page as you again because he doesn’t question it. Just abandons his search and presses his lips to yours again. You arch your back into him, chase his lips with your own. It should be embarrassing, the way you just need, except that it’s Jungkook and it’s not. It’s just…natural. The most natural thing in the world.
He does successfully pull away from your lips again, sparing a low, quiet chuckle for the way you immediately pout your lips at him. But then he’s lining himself up at your entrance, using just a little bit of lube along his shaft, and pressing the tip into you. Just like everything else, it’s slow. So slow as he pushes into you, buries his length inside of you and lets you adjust to him. Wants you to feel comfortable. But you’re always comfortable with him. 
The second that you try to move against him, Jungkook presses a hand to your hip, pins you down to the bed. There’s none of the usual wide-eyed wonder in his eyes when they lock onto yours, silently telling you that you need to stay in place. Be good. Somehow it makes you want to squirm even more. Instead you focus on the way the muscles in Jungkook’s arm that’s holding you down contract, focus on the furrow of his brow, focus on the lines of his chest.
You tentatively wrap your legs around him, wanting to change his angle and he moves his hand from your hip to balance himself over you. Somehow, even though this is not your preferred position, it feels…different, intimate in a way that usually scares you. You’re not scared, though. You’re only happy. Jungkook finally starts moving, too slow like everything else but at least it’s something. 
Without warning, he pulls almost all the way out and snaps back into you hard, a perfect contrast to the previous thrusts. He must anticipate your reaction, too, since he leans down to kiss you, capturing all your pleasure. So you do the only thing you can think of and drag your nails down Jungkook’s arms. Part of you hopes you’re leaving a mark so that everyone will know he’s yours. Wholly and completely. 
“Fuck,” Jungkook hisses.
“Do you like that?” you ask with all the innocence that you can muster. 
“Don’t play games with me,” is the only answer you get.
“Then please, Jungkook,” you beg and he slows, still moving but focusing on your words instead.
“Please what?” he questions.
“Please just fuck me,” you supply immediately. “We’ve got the rest of forever for slow, just fuck me. Show me that I’m yours.”
It’s what he’s been waiting for. That last little thing he needs to hear. There’s a split second where he looks at you full of that same love and affection you’re sure was on your face earlier before he switches back to pure want and lust. And fuck this is what you need. What you want. The only thing in the world for you.
Jungkook picks up his pace, thrusting hard into you as you grip yourself as tightly to him as you can. Arch into him to change the angle, tighten your thighs around his hips. Before you can move a hand to your clit, he’s there. His finger along with the speed of his thrusts has you back on the edge. Your entire body is hyper aware from the earlier orgasm denial. He knows it, too.
“Come on baby, I want you to come for me,” Jungkook urges.
“I’m so close, oh my god,” you say through a moan. “Yes, oh my god, Jungkook, yes!” 
“I wanna see you come undone,” he says, breaths getting ragged. “Fuck I’m close too.”
“Come for me then,” you whine.
“You first,” Jungkook says and thrusts even faster.
A few more thrusts and you’re cumming harder than you can remember in a while. Nothing coherent leaving your lips. Jungkook is just a few seconds behind you and you meet his thrusts through his own high. When he stills, he carefully drops himself down, half laying on you without putting his full weight on you either. Almost absentmindedly, you run your fingers up and down his arm, tracing the lines of your favorite tattoos, watching the way his body moves with each breath. 
Jungkook looks up at you and he’s the same man that you fell in love with without realizing it. Except now you can accept it for what it is. You see the love and care in his eyes when he looks at you, the same look everyone else has seen the whole time. It almost makes you shy. He leans up to plant the softest kiss of them all on your lips before he pulls out, the mix of both of your cum spilling out in the process. 
“We need to get cleaned up,” Jungkook chuckles. You can’t help but laugh along with him.
“Yeah, probably need a shower,” you agree. 
“Let me check if the coast is clear,” Jungkook says and gets out of bed to pull on some boxers. He disappears out the door and you hear him out in the living room before he’s appearing back in the doorway. He’s got a smirk when you look over at him.
“Busted?” you ask.
“Better, he says he won’t be back until after dinner at least,” Jungkook says.
“Okay, sometimes he’s not the worst,” you admit.
“So shower?” Jungkook asks hopefully.
“Jungkook, I am not fucking you in the shower, do you remember that one time we tried?” you ask and he’s all smiles.
“Can you blame me for trying?” he asks. You’re so hopelessly endeared that it’s actually a little sickening. You’re also about to answer when he hops back into bed nearly on top of you.
“Jungkook, we have to clean up,” you say through a laugh.
“I don’t care, I’m just happy,” he says.
And that’s just it, isn’t it? That one word perfectly sums up how you’re feeling, too. This, with him, is what happy feels like. The lightness in your chest is only further confirmation.
You shoot down shower sex again, suggesting that maybe you should just shower separately to avoid anything awkward. But that doesn’t stop the two of you rolling to the other side of the bed to continue kissing each other. Doesn’t stop the kisses getting deeper. Doesn’t stop Jungkook kissing down your body until he gets between your thighs. Doesn’t stop him from going down on you and making you come hard on his tongue. 
It’s probably good, you think as you’re heading off to actually shower, that Jungkook sends his roommate a text that he may not want to rush back. It should be embarrassing how quickly Mingyu says he’ll just be home in the morning. Or that he knows exactly what’s happening. All you can think about, though, is the overwhelming feelings for this man.
(Well, you try to shower and remind Jungkook that shower sex was a disaster. But with his roommate gone, that doesn’t stop him from bending you over the counter and fucking you. It also shouldn’t be hot but you love the way you can watch him in the mirror. In almost know time he’s pulling yet another orgasm out of you and you’re not even sure if you can stand in the shower.)
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There’s a loud knock on the bedroom door seconds before a louder voice carries through it. “This is your 30-second warning, I hope you’re dressed.” 
He doesn’t even give you that amount of time before he’s opening the door. And it’s fine, because you have one of Jungkook’s t-shirts on and he’s got boxers on. So you’re at least partially dressed.
“Oh, you are dressed, that’s so boring,” Mingyu whines, throws in a pout for good measure. 
“Don’t be weird,” Jungkook says. 
“Pot, meet kettle,” Mingyu starts but has to dodge the pillow Jungkook throws. 
“Out,” Jungkook says. 
“Is that any way to talk to someone who’s making breakfast?” Mingyu chides. 
“Oooh you cooked?” you ask. 
“You never get that excited when I offer to cook,” Jungkook whines.
“Out of the honeymoon phase already?” Mingyu asks and pretends to grimace.
“Babe, you don’t know how to cook and you won’t let him teach you,” you respond. 
“Yes, I am cooking, we’re celebrating,” Mingyu says.
“Celebrating what?” Jungkook asks. 
“Someone finally getting her head out of her ass and realizing how amazing my roommate is,” Mingyu says and is out the door before you can hit him with a pillow. 
“Breakfast does sound good,” Jungkook says, a little shy.
“Okay, but then can we talk afterward?” you ask.
He nods. 
Breakfast is good, but it comes with a side of The Talk from Mingyu before you even get to eat. Jungkook wanted to shower quickly before eating, and that’s fine. You’ve been alone with Mingyu before when you’ve been over at their apartment. He tries to make it a serious talk, telling you that he’ll come after you if you ever hurt Jungkook. It’s just, well it’s a little hard to take him completely seriously with his threats when he’s like the personification of a golden retriever. You do mean it, though, when you say you’re in this for real, that you care deeply about Jungkook. That you know it’s been hell for the last while and you’re so sorry it took you this long to see what was there all along.
After breakfast, some of the best waffles you’ve ever had, Mingyu leaves to go see a friend of his. And you all know it’s at least in part to give you and Jungkook time to talk. Still, you appreciate that he’s giving you the space you need to sort this all out. 
“I don’t wanna pop this little bubble, but I think we have to talk about us,” you say when you and Jungkook are settled on the couch. 
“I’m not sure how much there is to talk about?” Jungkook admits. 
“Well, for starters, I need to know if you can actually forgive me,” you say. Jungkook opens his mouth, but you’re quick to continue, “and please really think about that, Jungkook.” 
“I mean it when I say that it was mostly fine. I knew what I was getting into almost from the beginning. It was obvious you had some shit to sort through,” Jungkook says after a moment. “And I felt like you were always honest with me about everything.”
“And the times it wasn’t fine?” you prompt. 
Jungkook takes a deep breath. “Yeah, those times kinda sucked. Like when you came home drunk that night after you talked to him and you called him Hobi.” 
“I was so happy to see you, I don’t even remember calling him that,” you say.
“I knew it didn’t mean anything, I assumed it was just a slip, but it hurt my heart for a minute thinking you were just going to fall back into step with him,” Jungkook says. 
“I can see that,” you acknowledge. “What about when I told you that I was going to go talk to him about whatever the feelings were?” 
“I was, well I don’t know, I wasn’t really sure. I really wanted to be there for you because you’re such an amazing person and I do want the best for you,” he says and you find yourself studying his face. Finding more expressions there than you’re used to seeing. 
“You just wanted to be the best for me,” you finish and he nods. 
“I know I should’ve just told you how I felt and asked you to stay. But, I don’t know, there was this part of me that thought if you didn’t at least talk to him…” Jungkook trails off, unsure how to finish the sentence. “There was a part of me that thought if I asked you to stay, and you did, we’d both be wondering with him like hanging over our heads.”
“Honestly, I don’t think I had the right to ask that of you, or to even expect it,” you say. “I never really let you know where I was at.”
“You did,” Jungkook says and that surprises you. “I could always tell. I knew what I meant to you and I was…I was a little scared, even knowing how much you liked me, to just ask for it to be more.” 
“I thought you didn’t want more either,” you nearly whisper.
“I didn’t, not when we met at least. I thought being with you would just be easy and casual and what we both needed,” Jungkook says with a chuckle.
“I don’t know that I’m easy,” you grimace.
“You are, what wasn’t easy was slowly falling for you. I’m not used to being the one falling first,” Jungkook says.
“I’m so sorry, Jungkook,” you say, “I would take it all back if I could.” 
“I wouldn’t,” Jungkook disagrees. “I think we both needed to go through that to get here.” 
“And this is somewhere you want to be? Here with me?” you ask, more honest than you’ve been in awhile. 
“Yeah, I do,” he says immediately. “You said I deserved to know I was someone’s first choice and you do too.” 
“I want you to know that I do realize I was unfair to you and that’s not something I want to ever do again,” you say carefully.
Jungkook takes one of your hands in his, always so thoughtful. “We all make choices we’d change if we could, but you chose to be here. You’re acknowledging it, so I think we can take that and move forward.” 
“I wanna be clear about where we are though,” you say.
“I’m sure you want to take it slow, this is all kind of new territory for us,” Jungkook says. 
“No, that’s not it,” you say and watch his face. “I mean, we can take it at whatever pace you want, I just mean I want to be clear. This is a relationship and I’m serious about it just being you and me. I don’t want there to be any confusion in defining it.”
“I don’t think there’s any confusion,” Jungkook laughs. “But yeah, I’m on board for that. We can figure out the rest of what a serious relationship looks like as we go.”
“Together?” you ask and he smiles your favorite smile. The one where his nose crinkles and you can see his slightly-too-big front teeth and his eyes seem to sparkle. 
“Always,” he says. 
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thank you for reading and for sticking with me through this, i hope you enjoyed it <3
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rayshippouuchiha · 6 months
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Okay, so idk if you'd be able to offer some advice, but here we go, so: I'm doing Nanowrimo for my first time, and I decided not to write a novel, but to finish up some fics that I've started and have been neglecting. While I've been meeting the word limit, the problem is that I either wind up writing something else that is completely unrelated to the fic I'm trying to focus on or I run out of ideas for what to do with one of the fics, so... Yeah... any advice?
See I am of the opinion that as long as you're creating that's what matters. But I've found that rereading my own fics and taking notes helps me to focus on one thing in particular if I have to. But, again, I'm someone who tends to bounce around too so as long as I'm creating I'm calling it a win
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italoniponic · 2 years
Text
Just the Two of Salmon(us) | Sebek Zigvolt
Synopsis: You invite Sebek for a small lunch date on the weekend over this restaurant that you came to know that serves the best salmon of the region. And, with Sebek being Sebek, hilarity obviously ensues.
Sebek Zigvolt x gender neutral reader / small scenario / fluff, hc/canon lore and silly crack / reader has the most difficult love rivals / 1090 words / use of “you” pronouns
Notes: I dedicate this for all Sebek stans and simps, inspired by @estcaligo ’s awesome art about the biggest rival against sebyuu: salmon! this man is a clown m-maybe i love him??? idk It’s a bit shorter than my usual scenarios but considering that it’s a simple idea and I was writing more for fun, I couldn’t extend much. I could. Believe me. You maybe had read my latest Sebek scenario, it was loooong. But I have other fics and things I need to write before my guilt hunt me down~ hope this is good enough for at least make someone smile a bit <3
Just the Two of Salmon(us)
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You didn’t know how to react to that scene. While you were still on your first plate, Sebek was finishing cleaning the fifth grilled salmon dish he had ordered. You glanced at the restaurant owner who stared back at you, the two of you connecting your souls in only two thoughts:
“How could Sebek eat so much and would he have enough money to pay?”
Not that you were ignorant about this fact when you invited your boyfriend to lunch on the weekend. You just assumed that he wouldn’t ask for five plates at once. But, then again, you should have seen that coming. 
All you wanted was to spend time with Sebek and rescue him from whatever meal Lilia would be making — or trying to make — at that moment in Diasomnia.
Sebek has never been more grateful. Of all humans, you were the most formidable for being able to help him in these moments of despair. When all seemed lost, you would emerge in your mortal littleness to reach out to him. 
The only guilt Sebek felt was that he needed to leave Malleus in Lilia’s culinary inept hands — but even if it  would cost him to say it out loud, he trusted Silver to take care of everything. 
Anyway, Sebek’s mind was quickly distracted when he saw the large sign of the seafood restaurant you were taking him to. That fisherman’s restaurant had the best fish in the area, among other sea species. You chose the place precisely because you heard so many good things about their salmon.
Sebek felt a little embarrassed at first when you commented that you realized how obsessed he was with salmon — your words, precisely. 
It was indeed an interesting discovery.
While you were waiting for your requests, Sebek talked about how the fishing culture in the Valley of Thorns wasn’t as strong as the human's but fishes could constitute some parts of the fae cuisine, especially in surviving training.
As a complete territory, the extension of the Fairy Briar Valley was isolated by the sea, and the Flower faes’s region had more freshwater lakes and rivers with small fish.
However, Sebek’s grandfather sometimes personally went fishing for salmon in the sea and would bring it when he returned from these kinds of occasional trips.
Old Baul Zigvolt used to only bring salmon for his daughter, in a way to get a little closer to her — though he was still stubborn about not approving of her marrying a human. But when little Sebek was delighted to taste a grilled salmon dish made from the fish caught by his grandfather, he started doing it for the bright smile his grandson would give him.
Since then, both Baul and Sebek’s older siblings started taking him to salmon fishing. On the occasions when the grandfather couldn’t go, Osiris and Serket went to explore the shores of the sea and some nearby rivers with their little brother. 
So much so that salmon carpaccio became his favorite food.
“It reminds me of home,” was Sebek’s usual comment on the subject.
These words were finished by a big smile, whose white teeth shone like lightning in the dark night. It was the same smile Sebek had on his face as he wiped his lips with the napkin. More than satisfied, he was completely, genuinely happy.
You put your fork aside for a moment, sighing but smiling too. He was so adorable. 
“Why are you looking at me like that? Do I have any crumbs on my face?,” Sebek asked, passing the napkin in his mouth once again.
“No. It’s just... I'm glad to see you seem to be having fun.”
“And how could I not? Salmon is such a wonderful fish and the chef here is to be congratulated. The cooking point, the seasoning, the preparation, the presentation... I would not be ashamed to invite the Young Master to come and feast on such good food. And that’s a lot considering they’re humans and the Young Master is used to the finest cuisine in the royal palace. However! These salmon are tender, practically melt in the mouth. My taste buds feel blessed!”
“I’m happy to hear that, really,” you laughed. “Is it okay if we go now? We still have a few more things to do.”
Sebek nodded and you called the waiter to ask for the bill. To your surprise — and all the employees’ too — your boyfriend had enough money to cover his share.
But Sebek still went on to talk about how nutritious salmon was, the quality of the fish was second to none and that next time they should invite Malleus to lunch there.
“But then it wouldn’t be a date,” you tried to argue. “Like... you know, a date between the two of us.”
“I understand. But after you have revealed to me this restaurant that serves the best salmon on the island, it is my duty to ensure that the Young Master is also graced with this knowledge and... w-why are you looking at me like this now?”
You stared deadpan at Sebek. 
“Can I ask you a question and you will answer it sincerely?”
The half-fae didn’t understand at first, however, given your gaze, he agreed in the same way.
“Imagine a hypothetical scenario: near a strong river stream, someone is burning salmon on the grill while me and Malleus are drowning in the river. Who will you save first?,” you launched the challenge.
“Well, of course I save…”
Sebek stopped in mid-sentence. He held his chin for a moment, thinking about the possibilities and scenarios. As the minutes ticked by, Sebek grew increasingly desperate in his internal questioning, reassessing priorities and urgencies. His expression went into such agony that your brief impatience turned to pity.
And pity, inevitably, turned out to be amusement. You laughed softly and touched Sebek’s shoulder affectionately to relieve his stress — you could see the storm that was his thoughts.
“Nevermind. Part of me knows it would be even harder if I included your mom and Lilia in the middle of it,” you said, taking his hand and continuing on the walk back to school.
“I'm sorry I failed your test, dear. I must get stronger to make better decisions in less time!,” Sebek proclaimed, determination in his eyes.
You smiled, always charmed by his inexhaustible energy. One thing quite clear was that Sebek had only three things he valued more than anything in life: you, Malleus, and salmon.
You just gave up asking in what order.
Special notes: Sebek's heart is big enough to squish the three of them inside, that's my theory.
Edit 05/11/2024: Sebek's granpa name is officialized in canon as Baul/Baur Zigvolt. And I corrected some mispelling errors such as "Do you have crumbs in my face?" 💀 I'M SO SORRY
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bigtittiecomitte · 7 months
Text
Idea for a fanfic that’ll never happen bc I can’t write
I was thinking about a fic where it features the past, present AND future
Past:
It starts off with Nori as the main character, she was an ordinary worker drone just doing what she was commanded too until she has a sense of reality and decides to rebel by protesting against the humans. That’s when she meets Khan and they hit it off instantly, forming a relationship
Nori and Khan make the workers begin to hate the humans and soon they all rebel and have lives of their own. Khan and a few others build a little town for the workers, that includes a daycare where couples can have kids
Eventually Khan and Nori get married and have Uzi, living their lives until a few years later where Nori starts seeing visions of the future, she didn’t mind until she started activating her absolute solver
Nori kept this quiet, she started drawing pictures of her visions and begged for Khan to build a door
As Khan was doing this, Uzi was getting in trouble at school, biting people and just being herself (which people hates so much smh)
Nori and a bunch of others were sent to a lab after the humans found out, Nori and Yeva were already besties so while Yeva was freaking out about this, Nori was having the time of her life
Unfortunately Nori gained an enemy, Alice grrrr 🦭
Nori goes insane and begins destroying the lab, she helped Yeva out bc besties but left everyone there to be in despair
Afterwards one night the murder drones attack, the doors were not stable enough and people died, including Nori and Doll’s parents
Khan had to end Nori’s suffering, with a lot of guilt he goes back home, Uzi walking in and asking where Nori is, Khan giving no response
Present:
This takes place after Murder Drones, where N was able to help Uzi and stuff happened
Uzi is the main character this time. her and N begin living together after she finishes school
N works as a teacher for young drones, teaching them about dog breeds like the boss he is while Uzi helps the wdf with weapons and also makes cool prosthetics
Eventually N proposes which Uzi immediately said yes and they had a wedding Yippeeeee
Few years later, N and Uzi decide that they want kids so after surprising Khan he immediately sets them up for a baby who they name Biscuit (N’s idea)
Fun family time until N and Uzi decide they want two more kids so hey they get two more kids (I will stand for Colt and Akay until I die)
Nothing much rlly happens in the present, just N and Uzi starting their family life
Future:
This focuses on N and Uzi’s only daughter and youngest child, Akay
Akay is a lot like Nori in a way, a party girl who isn’t afraid to embarrass herself (thanks to having N as a dad)
Ever since she was born she had to cover up her tail (completely forgot to mention but I think that just so N doesn’t feel embarrassed or sadness for being the only drone with a tail, Uzi made a tail for Colt and Akay) just so she doesn’t hurt anyone with it
Akay met a drone who owns a gardening store with fake plants, Akay instantly fell in love with her and uh lesbians yahoo
Anyways in the future N and Uzi grow old (technically just Uzi but N wanted to grow old with her so he tried making himself look old)
Their kids have kids and life is good
UNTIL UZI DIES 😦😦
As Akay was going to go visit N, she sees N laying dead while holding Uzi, his body hot from overheating
N did leave a letter for his kids and gave them instructions on what to do yet
They gave a bunch of possessions to their kids and grandkids (including a book about how to make a disassembly drone tail bc why not they look cool)
Soon a funeral was held and N and Uzi were buried in one grave, no one dared to seperate them
Akay went on to make a book about her parents lives, sparing no detail
And hey thanks to N and Uzi, the doorman family is still growing strong even in idk 5000
Wasn’t that great? Too bad it’ll never be written hehehehehehehcudwpsjchsk
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Darkness Lane by Joan Hassall [ x ] - the piece that most inspired my recent woodcut-style piece.
When I found out I was drawing for @gorgeousundertow's regency AU fic, Half Agony, Half Hope, as part of the @ineffableidiotsbigbang, I started looking up Jane Austen novel illustrations for inspiration and ended up finding some really cool art and websites! I'm posting about some of the images and resources I found because I think it may be interesting to others too (and even if it isn't, I'll have gotten the infodump out of my system haha).
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Illustrations from Mansfield Park by Joan Hassall [ x ]
The link above points to a gallery on pemberley.com which has deliciously old-school DIY website HTML and a wealth of Jane Austen illustrations, as well as references for regency clothing. This was where I discovered Joan Hassall's work and decided I wanted to do a woodcut style piece (and then subsequently regretted it many times during the process of making it because I had no idea what I was doing). The detail, visual texture and dramatic lighting in her work is so cool and I just got more obsessed the more I saw.
See more Joan Hassall on tumblr via @uwmspeccoll (a very cool account!) here, here, and here.
The gallery on pemberley.com also had a bunch of Charles Edmund Brock illustrations, which I could not get enough of and so returned to the searchpage and found Molland's Circulating-Library. SO COOL! Jane Austen fans have bought illustrated editions of her novels and uploaded scans of them and oh my gosh they are all so beautiful.
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Northanger Abbey watercolour illustrations by C.E. Brock [ x ]
Side note about Henry Tilney (Catherines' love interest in NA), I also came across this old fan page for him from a mostly-broken-links-now site called THE CULT OF DA MAN and um it's great haha, check it out. (reviews of artists representations of him, more delicious HTML, and pixel art (!) of da aforementioned man)
There's also an article on Molland's about Charles and Henry Brock and their Jane Austen works that I found interesting. Charles is better known and did far more JA illustrations, but I do really enjoy Henry's tinted line pieces! (the article also dunks on some bad reproductions of them haha)
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Pride & Prejudice tinted line illustrations by H.M. Brock [ x ]
C.E. Brock also did really cool title pages and when I found out that fic banners were a thing I knew what I wanted to do! (with the help of the symmetry tool and undo haha, so much respect for traditional art)
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Title pages illustrated by C.E. Brock [ x ] and my banner - the banner design uses elements of both of the Brock images.
So, research in hand/bookmarks folder and banner completed, I decided on a scene from Chapter 10 where our beloveds are standing beside the Thames in the moonlight after walking around London for hours together and talking (CUTE). I wasn't sure what buildings to include in the background, so @gorgeousundertow gave me a few suggestions: Old Southwark Bridge, London Bridge, Southwark Cathedral, and Clink Prison. I realized after a bit of sketching that bridges would be hard to show with the straight-on view I wanted to do, so I decided on the Cathedral, partially because I had also considered drawing a scene that takes place in Salisbury Cathedral in Ch. 7.
OK BUT HOW? I struggled finding reference images for a while until I realized this was LONDON and would be very Google Earth-able. Big ups to Frank Cosgrove, whoever they are, for uploading this haha. This was also where I found out that all the suggestions were from a very small area!
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View of Borough High Street, London, 1830, by George Scharf [ x ]
The building in front of the cathedral looked too new, so I went searching for an older image and found the second image. It's a completely different angle but it was enough to get me past the 'oh no idk what do'.
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the much brighter concept vs the much darker finished product, featuring a barely-visible Southwark Cathedral
While looking for images of the Thames pre-Google Earth, I also found this website called Dictionary Of Victorian London which has a whole bunch of old images and excerpts from newspapers, etc on a variety of topics. One of the categories, Sex > 'unnatural offences', had this excerpt from The Times (1863), which reads:
Thomas Lane, a coffeehouse keeper, No.9, Love-lane, Eastcheap, city, and James Mortimer, a seaman, were charged with unlawfully meeting each other to commit an unnatural offence. ... The Magistrate committed both prisoners for trial.
Ugh. I hate that so much. Some sexy stuff happens right after the moment I'd chosen, and reading that reminded me that such things would be much more comfortable and safe in darkness (or if ppl just stopped being homophobic, but barring that). I wanted them to feel alone, like the whole world was asleep and it was just them, outside of time.
With that in mind, the iconic Thames Walk Lamp had to go bye bye, and when rendering the background I tried to minimize any light - it's just the suggestion of buildings. I also added tree cover! I tried to imitate how Joan Hassall does trees in some of her artwork, but when she rendered trees like this they were usually farther away/smaller, so my version looks more stylized with how prominent they are.
The ribbon border and book quote presentation is of course more Brock, but by making it black and having the interior image use it as a border instead of a fade-out inside it, I made it a bit of a reference to the very cool foliage edges you see in the very first Hassall image at the top.
I used the procreate brushes from this post on the Procreate Folio forums if anyone wants to try them!
Also fun fact! The font for the quote is called Chanson D'Amour <3 (I initially downloaded it when making the banner before changing the banner font to one called Dark & Black)
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That's all I have to say about the process for the piece, but here's a comic from Dictionary Of Victorian London, Thames > Sanitary condition that I thought was cute (and gross ig? but also cute):
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a Punch comic from 1850, I can't link the page due to how the website URL system works but it's from the Thames > Sanitary condition page
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amiharana · 1 year
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Hey; different anon here. I saw your post about Revali singing to Link, and that got me thinking: Revali singing in some cavernous place(maybe an unearthed Sheikah building, but those probably would be occupied by researchers 24/7 so idk) and Link finding him there, maybe catching him mid-practice. First, Revali trying to come up with a feasible reason why he hangs out in said place would be hilarious, and second, imagine him singing some old Rito song to Link once he promises he won't tell anyone 👀
Also: imagine all chamipons, Link and Zelda hanging out on one of the Divine Beasts and singing a song together (i am very weak to champions being a found family)
oh anon this is a fantastic idea and i got a little carried away with it. i am so sorry i basically half-wrote fanfic here omg i'm gonna put a read-more under the next paragraph 😭 i also really love the idea of the champions as a found family aaaa but i will not be able to cover that here because this post is already long enough HAHAHA i'll try to talk a bit on that in a separate post LOL i recall there being a modern revalink au where the champions are in a musical? and i believe it was by bibliomaniac! i'm gonna have to go reread it that fic was gassss omg
i would like to suggest the cave where the great hebra skeleton is as revali's super-secret-singing cave! maybe he stumbled upon it as a fledgling and promptly left screeching and running when he saw huge beastly skeleton, but later returned over the years and started using it as his secret singing practice cave. the acoustics in that place gotta be fire, fr.
i'm imagining this happening pre-calamity, but maybe link is checking out the huge hole in hebra peak with zelda (for science reasons >:] zelda is a Woman in STEM!). when they're done, zelda gets flown back down to rito village by another rito who accompanied them, but link decides to stay for a little while longer because hebra is one of the prettiest regions hands down idc! he ends up accidentally figuring out how to shield-surf down the peak completely unintentionally and i know his dumb ass face-planted into the snow LMAO. somehow, he ends up near the stone entrance where one of the doors have already been propped open... so keeping a hand ready to grab for his sword, link enters the cave 😳
but once he does actually enter, he hears a beautiful voice singing a melancholy song, their voice resonating and bouncing off of the cavern's walls and link is entranced. his guard drops immediately and he follows the song deeper into the cave, eyes wide and moving like he's possessed where he's greeted by not only a gigantic fucking leviathan skeleton and one of those shrines zelda's obsessed with, but revali, the champion of the rito and known asshole freak, being the owner of that incredible angelic voice? hylia above, revali of all people?!
but the longer that link listens, the further he falls under revali's musical spell, the rito standing on the platform lip of the shrine, a hand on his chest and his eyes shut as he sings. revali does have a very nice voice and it's making link want to sing with him, like he's meant to or something. but the longing in revali's voice keeps catching link off guard — why does he sound so sad? why does he sing like his heart aches to be with someone he can't have...?
by the time revali has finished his sorrowful song and opens his eyes, link stands before him at the steps of the shrine, his eyes still wide. for a moment, revali holds link's gaze catching his breath and doesn't actually register it's link at first, but then—
"how did you get in here?!" revali squawks, jumping back. his screech echoes across the cavern, but link doesn't flinch at all still staring at revali in awe.
"i could ask the same of you," link says breathlessly. "do you normally just hang out in caves? you know what, that's not important right now. your voice is... incredible."
revali shifts and preens under the praise, but it's still link, who of course has disrupted all his plans once more. "y-yes, well," revali stammers, "it's not as though as an extraordinary warrior such as myself couldn't be talented in music and art! the rito are natural singers, our vocal chords are practically perfectly formed for singing when we're born! why wouldn't i posses a voice fit for the heavens?" revali tosses his braids over his shoulder and points his beak upwards, but he keeps an eye trained on link, who still stares in awe and admiration. it's... quite nice to have link's attention like this. "and for your information, i do not just hang out in caves. i'm a creature of wind and sky! i simply required an isolated location that would provide the proper resonance i needed to... rehearse. and this was the perfect spot, until you came and ruined it!"
"what was that song you were singing?" link says softly, ignoring revali's harsh words. he takes a step closer and revali can't find it in him to move away. "it sounded so... sad."
revali stares at him incredulously, before sighing in resignation. link was a very stubborn person who was focused on achieving his goals, no matter what. it was... an admirable trait, in more appropriate situations than this. "it's an ancient song of the rito," revali responds, in a much softer tone than when he previously spoke. "it might be difficult for you to believe, but the rito are a people of intimacy and devotion. we aren't just warriors." revali looks back to meet link's piercing blue gaze. it could blend in with the ice that surrounds the cavern walls around the leviathan skeleton. "this song... is one of yearning, of being apart for far too long, whether it be time or space, and of wishing desperately to be by each other's side once more.
"it was originally in the ancient tongue of my ancestors, but of course time and its partner conquest have done their duties, attempting to usher in reinterpretations and translations digestible for general hyrulean dialects and muddling our sacred words in the process." link winces and stares apologetically. "don't bother with apologies now, what's done is done. the ancient rito language still lives, even if broken and battered. my ancestors never yielded to such conquests." revali looks away again and up at the great skeleton above their heads. "and it's still a proud and beautiful song, even if somber."
"it is beautiful," link agrees. then he fidgets, averting his eyes to play with his fingers. "a very beautiful song..." link still feels that aching need to sing with revali, and that song....
revali studies link's actions. "spit it out," he says. "you very clearly want to say something. did you change your mind and decided that my performance was pathetic and subpar?" revali's words are frigid, sharpened into icicles dipped in bitterness.
"no!" link's head shoots up, eyes wide in panic. "no, no, never. your voice is amazing, i really meant that! i just..." link fidgets again. "the song... is it... do you... do you do lessons?" revali blinks and link takes it as a no. "sorry, never mind, that was dumb, i—"
"with all due respect, champion link," revali cuts him off, "perhaps you should allow me a chance to respond." link shuts his mouth and nods. "what do you mean, 'lessons'?"
"would... would you teach me the song?" link says. he stares at revali with wide blue eyes, nervous but curious more than anything. it catches revali completely off-guard.
"you... want to learn it?" revali says. his tone is no longer icy and spitting, instead soft and genuinely surprised.
"yes," link whispers, eyes impossibly wider. "you said it's sad, but it sounds beautiful. i'm not the greatest singer in the world or anything, but i can appreciate a well-composed song when i hear it. so... i want to learn it, if you'll teach me."
when revali looks into link's eyes again, they're still nervous but now they're hopeful and determined and genuine and it leaves revali astonished. link, of all people, wanted to learn a song of his people? "perhaps," revali murmurs, "you aren't as incompetent and selfish as i thought you were. i could spare some time to teach you such a significant song of our culture..." link perks up, eyes sparkling— "but! under certain conditions!"
"i'll do anything," link agrees immediately. that surprises revali too, but he masks it as he stares at link.
"i will not have you sullying my name and image as a champion," revali says, "and so you will not speak of this to anyone. you won't tell anyone about this encounter, this place, that i'm teaching you this song, that i sing at all — this will remain strictly between you and me, understand?" and link nods right away, maintaining his intense blue-eyed gaze. "...good." revali shakes his crest feathers out reflexively. "i'm finished for this session, but if your desire to learn this song manages to survive the night, you will find me here again at dawn."
"then i'll see you tomorrow morning," link says breathlessly, beginning to grin. "thank you, revali... i'm genuinely grateful."
"rightfully so," revali preens. "you'll be learning only from the best. now let us return to the village, before the princess thinks you've abandoned your duties and disappeared into the wilderness."
when they step outside of the cavern, the sun is beginning to reach for its bed under the horizon, the sky above them glowing in soft shades of pink and orange and light sheets of snow fall gently around them. link gasps softly at the scenery — hebra truly is one of the most beautiful regions in hyrule. revali snorts at the little hylian's wonder but his chest swells with pride for his home.
as he raises his wings to gather updraft, revali realizes that link doesn't really have any other methods of returning to the village. he doesn't even know how link got here in the first place, but if he were to walk all the way back to the village from here, he might as well just leave himself for dead. the hebra mountains were beautiful, yes, but they were incredibly dangerous for anyone who wasn't prepared or familiar with the terrain. and so revali takes a breath to gather his pride and ask...
"do... do you want me to take you back to the village?" revali mumbles, averting his eyes. link turns to look back at him, his eyes wide. "simply out of necessity, of course. a flightless, featherless thing like yourself couldn't possibly make it back to the village on your own and return by dawn. it would be a death sentence!" revali's feathers begin to ruffle as he continues to talk— "the princess would have my head if i didn't ensure your safety, as i'm practically responsible for it if we're out here together."
"i'd like that," link murmurs, his gaze softening. revali looks back at him and his feathers rise. "thank you, revali."
"yes, well, i'm sure you would," revali stutters, "i'd provide the smoothest and most comfortable ride out of all the rito!" revali turns away, trying to subtly pat down his feathers, and crosses his arms. "now, get on my back, we're losing light! i don't want to fly when it gets dark. i won't be able to see a thing..."
link smiles at him and revali's chest expands and swirls, a strange feeling he can't quite recognize yet. the little hylian does as revali says and clambers onto his back, holding onto revali's shoulders. "hold on tight, my gale is quite powerful now, you know. i won't spare you any time to catch you if you fall." (a lie, not that link needs to know.) and with that, revali crouches and gather wind under his wings, before bursting upwards into the sky.
link's arms tighten around his shoulders and chest, whooping and gasping from the cold air as they rise. as they fly back to rito village, revali wonders how link will be able to make it to the cave in the morning. should he offer to take link there? would link even say yes? he doesn't know. all revali can focus on is the feeling of link's arms tight around his chest and his warm breath in his ear as they fly back to the village.
what an interesting turn of events, revali thinks, who would've thought that this is what we would become, that you would want to learn a song in the tongue of my people. that's too likeable of you, link. how shall i maintain our rivalry now?
(spoiler alert, revali; the r in rivalry stands for romance and you're about to get held against the wall during a sparring session 🥰)
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magicalbats · 7 months
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how do you get out of a bad writers block?? and what inspired u to get back into writing after ur hiatus?
Oof, I’m ngl that’s a bit of a difficult question for me to answer xmdkxkdnd for me at least, I wanted to write pretty much the entire time during my hiatus but I just couldn’t get my brain to function through the ✨ depression fog ✨ and even just opening up a word doc to force myself to write two sentences was extremely draining. My mental headspace just was not there. So what I did a lot of was read books.
I think I’ve read something like almost 60 books this year of different genres and topics - four out of five novels for the Court of Thorns and Roses series, Carrie by Stephen King, some old (really old xmxmdnd) Harlequin romance novels, a folk horror anthology, like six entries from the Anita Blake Vampire Hunter series, etc, etc - and that helped me get back into the mindset of creative thinking. I found inspiration in these works, ideas I wanted to explore, things that left me disappointed with their execution and wanting to do better, and I sort of relearned how to string a narrative together in the process. Then I started reading over some of my old WIPs. In some of them I saw real potential and was even occasionally surprised by my own writing abilities when juxtaposed against all those published novels I’ve read. I’d think to myself “oh, this actually isn’t half bad?” And that would make me want to finish that piece or rework it with things I’ve learned in the interim.
One of the very first things I wrote and completed was that Itto x reader x Gorou kinktober fic. I saw the prompt, had the inspiration and impulsively jotted everything down. When I was finished and I read it over I felt GOOD. Proud of myself for actually completing something from scratch. I thought “hey, maybe I could do another one of these” and then proceeded to write Scara’s (which I’m actually very proud of tbh cmdmxm) and from there it was really just a matter of keeping that momentum going. In particular I think writing them for myself at that point, thinking I might post them some day when I was feeling brave enough to come out of hiding and just enjoying the satisfaction of writing again in the meantime, was what really helped me find my confidence again. It kind of took some of the pressure off of having people perceive me and my work dmdmdmd and I was able to sort of let everything flow organically as a result without worrying about how terrible or messy it was. A lot of this was very spur of the moment and idk if it will actually help you anon but in my case these were the things that helped me kick my extremely uncooperative brain back into gear lol
So the TL;DR of it would probably be to read other stuff. Pay attention to what you like, what you don’t, what makes you excited, sad, horny, happy, grossed out, etc and basically expose yourself to different kinds of writing styles and topics. I’ve read some pretty terrible books over the last year and some amazing ones too, and each one taught me something, even if it was not to do a thing haha. When you revisit your own works approach it like it belongs to one of those other authors, look at it objectively and sort of remove yourself from the equation. I’d say a big part of getting over writers block is just tricking your brain out of it tbh. 🤣 Like I said idk if any of this is helpful but I believe in you, anon! I am cheering for you and I know we’ll get through this together!
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pirrusstuff · 7 months
Text
Weekend WIP Game
Tagged by @thewolvesof1998 @jesuisici33 thaaanks 🫶
Rules: List your WIPs below (if you only write one fic at a time, feel free to include future WIPs/ideas!) then answer the following questions. Then, tag as many people as you have WIPs (or more)
1. WIP List:
Dog!Eddie au
My love discovers objects
Día de muertos fic (no title yet)
Math au
This thing between us
2. Which of your WIPs is currently the longest?
I think My love discovers objects atm
3. Which WIP do you expect will end up the longest?
My love discovers objects or This thing between us idk
4. Which WIP is your favourite to write/the most enjoyable to write? Why?
My love discovers objects atm, It's just Buck and Eddie's unofficial first date, it's sweet and I love it, Dog!Eddie au, also silly and kinda funny idk, Día de muertos fic it's too sad but I'm enjoying writing it
5. Which WIP do you find the most intimidating to write? Why?
This thing between us, I always end up writing less than I plan when I spend some time on that wip
6. Which WIP do you experience the most self-doubt about. Why?
My love discovers objects and Día de muertos fic, I feel like they are good ideas and I am not developing them well also I'm almost completely convinced that when I finish them no one will give a fuck lol
7. Which of your WIPs will you seek out a beta/sensitivity reader for? Why?
My love discovers objects definitely I need to make sure it's okay okay
8. Have any of your WIPs been struck by the curse of writer's block?
Yeah, My love discovers objects, This thing between us (still struck), math au
9. Which WIP has your favourite OC? Tell us about them?
Mmmmm i think My love discovers objects (Okay I'm mentioning it a lot but I really love this one) there will be several minor OC's but I'm really enjoying writing them
10. Which WIP is the sexiest?
I don't think any of them lol, I'm bad at writing smut also don't plan to write it for now
11. Which WIP is the angstiest?
Día de muertos fic definitely, it's sad on purpose
12. Which WIP has the best characterisation (in your humble opinion)?
My love discovers objects definitely!
13. Which WIP has the best scene setting (in your humble opinion)?
Uhuhuhuh Dog!Eddie au and My love discovers objects i think
14. Which WIP have you worked the hardest on?
My love discovers objects I am very focused on making this one very good aaand Día de muertos fic, It was too early for me to start talking about losing someone but it's necessary to push myself to my limits sometimes
15. Which WIP do you have the highest expectations for? Why?
My love discovers objects, I don't have a reason but I'm quite fond of this wip
16. Do you dream about any of your WIPs?
Nope but My love discovers objects it's inspired by a dream
17. Do any of your WIPs have particular complexities that that your other fics don't?
Math au I think, i need to investigate how math competitions work in US schools
18. Which WIP is the funniest or has the most humour?
Dog!Eddie au I'm writing it to be funny
19. Do any of your WIPs contain outside POVs or a deep dive on a character other than the main ship? How are you finding that process?
Nop!
20. Tell us one thing we don't know about one or more of your WIPs
Well almost no one knows this except for @hippolotamus (also tagging you in this ;)) my math au is based on the two times I entered in national math competitions for cheating on exams (happily I was able to solve that situation (just one time) before it exploded on my face)
Tagging @callaplums @disasterbuckdiaz @princehattric @your-catfish-friend @911-on-abc @steadfastsaturnsrings @thekristen999 @elgascreamslikehell @ladydorian05 @loserdiaz (Sorry if you were double tagged!)
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creative-kny-fics · 3 months
Note
Hiii,
I was wondering if fic's are open
if you could do
Ler:kanae
Lee:sanemi
So I guess I have an idea idk if think makes sense but kinda like she's bandaging him up, and then I guess touches him somewhere we're he's sensitive and you gi off from there!
I like it! Let Kanae destroy Sanemi *insert evil laugh*. (I suck at doing scenarios like this, sorry if there are errors 😔)
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Ler: Kanae Kocho
Lee: Sanemi Shinazugawa
A new mission meant that new wounds would be gained, was there anyone who liked to show off those wounds and be proud of them? Yes. And is there someone who cares and makes sure that these injuries are not harmful to that person? It also exists and is the case of Sanemi and Kanae
'Shinazugawa, why don't you take care of yourself? You don't allow your scars to heal completely, I don't like that to happen. Please, I ask you to try to take better care of yourself, okay?', a sigh escaped from Sanemi's mouth and he nodded, leaving his katana leaning on the wall and sitting next to Kanae, who with her hand indicated him to sit next to her.
They don't usually talk much, mainly because Shinazugawa only responded briefly, that was his conversation, similar to the ones Shinobu tried to have with Giyuu. 'So... A showdown with a new lowermoon, eh?'
'Yes...'
'I understand... Okay, I finished cleaning your wounds. Now I will be able to bandage them', Sanemi nodded.
Kanae bandaged his arm and part of his wrist without fear, but her gaze fell on Sanemi's exposed abdomen, sighing sadly when she saw a very noticeable bruise. 'Don't worry about it, it's not as painful as it looks'
'That bruise is black, Shinazugawa... Why did you hide it?'
'I don't know, it didn't hurt that much I guess... But now, I did feel a little pain when I bend over... I'll be fine'
Kanae shook her head at her patient's stubbornness, taking a bandage to cover that bruise.
Sanemi felt strange, he couldn't explain it, but while Kanae was trying to calculate how much bandage she would need, her fingers, which were sliding softly and slowly, were tickling him. 'Is everything okay Shinazugawa? I feel some chills when I touch your skin...'
'Yes, I'm fine.', obviously he wasn't going to admit it, he wasn't going to let Kanae see such a vulnerable side of him.
What would she think knowing that he, a hashira, was smiling or laughing at such a light touch like that?
'It's a big bruise... Luckily I have a cream that will help you!'
'Okay.', Kanae took out the cream she was talking about from the medicine cabinet.
When she rubbed it on Sanemi's skin, she felt the chills again, but now, it was a different kind of chills... She stared at Shinazugawa and giggled a few times when he saw how he clenched his teeth and frowned, but it wasn't because of pain, it was for another reason...
'Does it hurt, Shinazugawa~?' 'N-no...!'
Sanemi tried to maintain his composure by mentally repeating the phrase "don't laugh at a touch of shit like this", but since Kanae realized that, she began to spread the cream on places where the bruise was not, also trying to fight with it. She smiled when she saw Sanemi stand at attention and tighten the fabric of his uniform with his hands.
'Know? It is funny!' 'What?'
'Well, I'm rubbing my fingers against your abdomen and unlike other patients, it tickles you hahaha!', damn, caught.
Sanemi looked away, perfect, now Kanae knew that some things that hurt others, but for some reason, make Sanemi tickle.
Almost similar to his scars, which, when someone tickled him, even if it was the scars on his arm, made him laugh!. 'Not a single word. To nobody.'
'Good! Now, I'll bandage you because that bruise looks kind of bad!', Kanae smiled.
This time it was all on purpose, Sanemi could feel Kanae poking his left side as she tried to 'ensure' that the tape that would hold the cotton didn't come off.
When she was completely sure of that, she did the same with the other side, this time, 'accidentally' sticking a finger into his navel and moving it up and down. 'Shinazugawa! Do not move! If you keep moving, I'll have to start again!'
Sanemi inhaled and stood his ground, or at least he tried to. Was Kanae playing with him? Definitely.
'Okay! Ka-Kahanae...! I kno-knohow y-you'rehehe done wihith t-thihis! L-let mehehe go...!'
'I would, but I have to make sure you don't have any more hidden bruises, as well as checking that your bones are completely healthy!'
Kanae smiled, her smile was innocent and she did as she said. Sanemi only asked that no one try to enter the room, although anyone who even approached could hear his screams and Kanae's teases.
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your-nanas-house · 2 years
Note
Ok soooo I love this account, and I have a request 👀 Originally I was thinking that post-spray Jeremiah would be good for this fic idea but now I can’t choose between him and Jerome, so I’m going to leave it up to u LMAO
Anyway, I was thinking of like what if R is good friends with bruce, but they’ve been kind of in a rough patch because R is starting to mentally be in and out (if that makes sense) and bruce is “too busy” to actually help them out so he’s just been annoyed with them without realizing that he’s being a bit of a dick. Until one day R brings up that they met someone that’s been helping them understand what they’re going through and feel more confident in themselves. Bruce figures out that the new person they met is J (Jerome/Jeremiah). He also finds out that J is just manipulating R to join his side only to get to Bruce. Bruce tries to warn R but they’re too far gone and they don’t really trust Bruce anymore.
I kind of now realize that this is more of a Bruce fic, but I do mainly want J to be in it? Bro idk I’m desperate for a J x gn!reader fic (and my attention whore touch starved ass is projecting). I ofc give u free range to change up the request in anyway! Even if u don’t take this request, ty and I hope ur having a chill day! :)
Thank you! I love this idea 😍 Sorry if it took me too long.
Not a GAME
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Pairing: Jeremiah Valeska X Gn!Reader, Bruce Wayne X Gn!Reader
Warnings: manipulation, sadness, panic attack, crying, bad friendship, Jeremiah, warning
Words: 1462
Summary: in the request
Note: Sorry for the mistakes and the English.
.......................................................................
The words that came out of Bruce's mouth would have been sharp and almost suffocating as well as painful if he had said them a few months earlier, but now they were like steam, like the flame of a lighter that was almost completely finished for Y/n.
They were still meaningful to them in a way, because Bruce still meant something deep inside them, which is why his words echoed in their heads like the first time he hurt them in one of the worst moments he could do it.
Y/n should have hated the millionaire boy but as the days went by he could no longer do so, the burning sensation inside their chests that hurt them emotionally had faded because it was due to him that they met the one who helped them the most at the worst time in their lives.
It all started with a small fight, with Y/n wanting to open up to Bruce to show him and seek help after several weeks of feeling like the world was devouring them, a negative feeling of pressure as if something was crushing them and not letting them breathe; it was a bad idea though because the only response they got from the one they thought was their best friend, the one who would understand most of all was "Geez, don't make everything always about yourself...I'm too busy to take care of this exaggerated thing that's only in your head'. In a way Y/n had expected this, Bruce had been 'too busy' during that time and had started to behave annoyed and dismissive towards them, preferring to take care of his own things instead of thinking about others.
This was what prompted Y/n to leave the manor, with a feeling of pressure in their chest and their breaths quickening, they felt their pulse quicken, drumming against their chest, if they looked down they could see how their chest moved followed by the deep breaths and choked sobs; the falling rain seemed to be there to make things worse, there was nowhere dry for Y/n to take shelter but they didn't care, in fact after they reached their limit they leaned back against the wall, feeling again that so familiar tingling sensation spread from their hands throughout their body, their breathing becoming even more erratic and that feeling of not being able to get enough oxygen returned as they slumped to the floor trying to calm themselves down but in a way not wanting to in the hope of throwing it all out and getting better later.
They felt alone and lost, a fitting moment for Jeremiah who was right nearby to approach and interact with them.
The first thing Y/n noticed was that the rain stopped falling on them probably because of an umbrella and then the shoes, it didn't take long for them to recognise the pale man's style as he continued to look down at them seeing himself in their place, remembering his own panic attacks when he was still locked in the bunker and Jerome was still alive.
He slowly knelt by down never touching the ground and keeping his piercing green eyes fixed with Y/n's y/e/c's who had not yet recovered "Now, now...does that sound like the way to behave in public, you might attract a lot of unwanted attention, huh" he lifted their face to look them in the eyes again when they shifted their gaze "deep breaths, yes?" He showed them how to do it by breathing deeply with them as he helped them up "I think you're having a panic attack, has that already happened to you yet?" he asked receiving a quick shake of the head from Y/n "let's start counting together...1,2,3,4,5,6,7".
As soon as they managed to calm down Jeremiah walked to his car asking if they wanted to get in, Y/n wasn't sure but they really needed to feel better and at that moment a shroud of apathy had fallen over them, they didn't care about anything, if anything was going to happen that night it was going to happen so they walked to the car, getting in through the door the man had opened and putting their seatbelt on before leaning their heads against the window looking out at the falling rain and the depressing environment that was Gotham CIty, they managed to close their eyes for a moment to try and calm themselves and not drop any more pathetic tears in front of one of the most wanted criminals in that city; they tried to suppress their emotions that were coming out again and they were succeeding before a gloved hand wrapped itself around theirs, causing them to shift their attention from the window to Jeremiah's porcelain face, all it took was a slight smile and a squeeze of his hand to reopen the faucet of their emotions.
It all ceased again after they entered the flat and had some time to calm down, they accepted a pajamas and stood by the fireplace with a blanket as they stared blankly into the fire, lying on the sofa with no discernible emotion on their faces, only the previous tears that were now dry on their cheeks, their eyes still a little red and puffy and their cheeks redder from the cold and crying.
Jeremiah's gaze was fixed on them the whole time as he spoke to Ecco, who later took charge of preparing hot tea for their new guest to drink.
The more time passed the more things improved, at first Y/n didn't feel any progress and it seemed so strange to open up to Jeremiah making him their personal psychologist, the advice he gave was strange at times but it worked and they went step by step.
They slowly drifted away from Bruce like a shadow to the appearance of light, all thanks to Jeremiah who drew them towards himself and his ideas to make them drift further and further away from the world and Bruce.
Jeremiah spent more and more time with them, listening to them and being there for them whenever they needed him, cheering them up and making them overcome that depression and constant anxiety almost completely by understanding them, sharing his own experiences by bringing them into a more confident and perhaps making them become a sort of weapon of battle.
Y/n felt understood and despite the complete loss of the rich boy's friendship everything improved, finding the salvation they were looking for in Jeremiah Valeska.
The months flowed by as fast as the water in a mountain stream and changed as it did, even Bruce changed during that same time realizing how he had been behaving and how the lack of Y/n beside him made him feel, leading him to do some research to find out what exactly had happened after inviting them once to apologize, to have a hot chocolate together and noticing how Y/n acted cold and almost stranger to him, hinting at something like he had met someone.
That someone was indeed the boy's own 'enemy', he had discovered his identity in a few days and could even see the manipulation underneath Jeremiah's kind and sympathetic gestures as he tried to get Y/n to go over to his side against Bruce.
It was those words that didn't hurt Y/n in the slightest, it was as if they went in one ear and out the other even as Bruce's hands grasped their shirt trying to pull them back to their senses receiving as a response from them a phrase that had come out of his own mouth long ago "The world doesn't just revolve around you, Bruce".
Bruce's dark gaze was now incredulous as he registered the words he had heard realizing their power, he shouldn't have behaved this way with them months earlier "Y/n/n...I've been a dick to you but you have to listen to me, Jeremiah is just manipulating you to get to me!" "Jeremiah was the only one who was there when I really needed someone and the only one who helped me and made things better by also making me realize what was wrong....even if I wanted to I wouldn't have anyone, I don't trust you anymore Bruce and you can blame yourself for that."
This statement and seeing them walk away caused a mischievous smile to appear on Jeremiah's face, he was now certain he had fulfilled part of his plan the only thing he didn't know was that Y/n were aware they were being manipulated from the beginning but they didn't care.
Taglist:
@gabile18 , @mrsfullbuster500 , @rex-ray , @elizamalfoyy, @eovjjj , @monkeyking-and-liuer-mate , @jeremiah-va1eska , @gothamchic16, @rabbiteggz , @dieg0brandos-wife , @rottenecstasy , @lazyexcuse , @teh-vampire-bunny , @lobotomy-lover
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mooifyourecows · 10 months
Note
hi moo! i saw a tweet about creators of online works (like fox writers, web comic artists, etc.) wanting to get feedback since it’s not very often they can go online and look for it outside of their platform so i just wanted to hop on and let you know how much i love your stuff!
you are the reason i even started reading fics! (technically it was my friend who was reading it that got me to but shh) i think i’ve actually told you the story before but it’s silly so i’ll say it again anyways! my friend was reading a lot of haikyuu stuff and i think this was before season 4 finished but like there had been a few episodes probably since you wrote about atsumu at that point but idk if you’ve read the manga so maybe i’m completely wrong about the timeline. ANYWAY, my friend had sent me a bunch of screenshots of different fics she was reading but she was telling me about this one where daichi was a bartender and him and oikawa were best friends (sound familiar?) so of course when she sent screenshots of that one i had to look for it. now at this point i had NO idea how ao3 worked and more specifically the searching (i have no idea how i managed to actually find it😭😭 i still can’t use the searching for anything but very broad stuff) but i spent HOURS typing in the same quote from that screenshot (pretty sure it was the homemade chocolate for valentine’s day scene) and narrowing down the word count to maybe like 500,000-600,000 words because she mentioned it was 500 something thousand and then with enough effort i found it!! i was so excited i read all of it in like two weeks in the middle of packing to move across the country😭😭(thinking back, definitely not the best use of my time but for the best🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️).
it’s kind of a stupid silly story, but without that amazing story i would’ve never found your work, let alone anyone else’s unless one of her silly screenshots caught my eye like that one and who knows if that would’ve happened🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️ now i get so excited just thinking about what might happen next in your other stories and i’m your #1 biggest fan❤️❤️❤️
can’t wait for the next post you make, and maybe if you update open tab in the future i’ll have to make myself a mint julep🤔🤔 i hope you’re having the best time writing and doing whatever it is that you do in your free time and that you’re taking care of yourself!!!! sending so much love your way this summer!!!
thanks for sharing babe, it really does make me happy to hear details and specifics about how people found my stories or what they like about them. i'm glad that you were able to find joy in my writing! it means a lot to me
i actually started writing Open Tab shortly after Atsumu's first appearance in the manga at that training camp with Kageyama, and had to base his personality off of those tiny itty bitty scenes we got of him, so when nationals rolled around and we got to see more of him (like that he is an identical twin, wowzas what a shock) i got to see how my interpretation of him was a little off. I wrote him more as a smooth asshole when in reality he's way more prickly and childish and goofy. In my big Open Tab edit, I'm trying to subtly alter his character to better suit that without completely changing him. in fact, i originally planned Atsumu to be this kinda... antagonist type character? but then i decided that i couldn't actually make any haikyuu characters be real bad guys and i had to make him sympathetic instead. rip
anyway, thanks for the message, it's very sweet and touching and makes me happy 😊🖤
there WILL be an update for open tab in the near future. i just want to completely edit it first. but i'll for sure make announcements when that time comes 🌈💪
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livsspecialinterests · 6 months
Text
don't really know what I'm writing or why but it's 0350am and I'm sitting in bed unable to get back to sleep having a weird slight panic
idk whether I'm feeling a bit of a writing slump because I know that the dead should stay dead still has quite a way to go and some part of me worries that by the time I've gotten at the very least to the next big plot point a lot of people may very well have lost interest in the fandom
like I know it's silly because there's probably always going to be some sort of fandom around BJTM but this little community means so much to me and has meant so much to me during a really difficult and life altering time, I mean for gods sake I started writing fics to try to figure out my own meltdowns
plus at this point I really have no other strong interests, idk maybe I'll get super into Doctor Who again with the specials and the new series starting but I've really gone hard on the One Interest
I really love the last few chapters of the dead should stay dead but it's felt a bit different writing them. maybe it's because I feel a little guilty spending whole days on chapters when I've got so much that I need to do for work (I know it sounds sad but there's exams, portfolio etc), plus I'd really like to give writing original fiction another go
there's also that gnawing fear that the fandom is going to like... vanish, which again is probably not true in its entirety but once the tour ends I can see some people falling off or finding another thing
also people leaving or drifting away from the fandom is a completely okay thing to do I'm not trying to make anyone feel bad if that's what they want to do
it's also not to say that people are obliged to engage with or comment on my fics or hell even read them, of course no one *has to* do anything in fandom it's a bunch of people just having fun
I know I should just write for my own fun and enrichment but external validation is nice, okay? plus these past few weeks the external validation and thinking 'no, I want to write this for the people who are reading the fic and want to know what happens next' have been big motivators
my main motivator used to be this absolutely unstoppable creative drive and love for the show and it's characters (which is still there, I'm unfortunately going to love this silly show until the day I die I think) but this past week I've found that I'd rather study for my work exams than spend time writing a few paragraphs
if I cool it off a little with the frequency of chapter updates it'll probably be a net good for me, I really need to buckle down and get these exams passed, I need to start actually engaging in planning my career because I think in my head I've been thinking I might get a book published one day and as a result I've been sort of half neglecting the actual really decent career I've got
but also my mental health is so much better, I've mostly healed from a lot of my late diagnosed autistic trauma, plus work is actually quite good right now?
maybe more of my writing for BJTM fics was motivated by being mentally ill than I originally thought, and maybe I don't *need* to write fics anymore but I want to and I want to still love writing fics as much as I did back when I was having that difficult time, where it was a huge personal comfort to be able to write Beej having a hard time in very specific ways and have other people comfort him
I have said to my husband that I'll probably cool it with the fics once I've finished the dead should stay dead and am going to focus my creative energy on something original to see where that goes but there's still so much to go on the dead should stay dead..
that silly little fic has become like my baby, I want to write it all, flesh out the characters before the next Big Thing happens, I want to do my ideas justice but I also want to make sure there are people still in the fandom to read it once I get to that point
again I'm super tired it's the middle of the night and I'm rambling, I don't want to imply that anyone reading this should carry on reading something they don't enjoy, and I don't even think the number of people reading the fic has even gone down, I've just woken up this morning full of dread for the fandom changing because, fandom and interests wise, BJTM is kind of all I've got right now.
I didn't really belong to a fandom for years after BBC Sherlock ended and I realised while watching the 4th series that it wasn't that good there was just a very passionate fan base and that's what I likes (I know, I know), BJTM was the first thing I got really into for ages and the first thing I got really into while figuring out what it was that I got *really into* stuff (autism)
obviously no one has to stick around in a fandom for the benefit of a silly autistic fanfic author whos terrified of change, and please, please don't think that's what I'm implying or what I want
ughh idk what I'm even writing, I should probably just reach out more to people but doing that is scary without the buffer of a fic
I should also probably invest more time in doing stuff irl but I know that no hobby gives me the joy that writing gives me, like when I'm really vibing with something there really are few better things for me than being safe at home and writing
also maybe I should try to get into some other stuff but I don't really want to but equally I know the BJTM fandom isn't going to last forever I just.... 🙃
the silly musical and the silly community that has sprung up around it and making art and writing fics for it has saved me in so many ways I'm just scaaarrreedddd (and also tired and typing this at 4am so I might be being dramatic for nothing, plus I know I struggle with assuming any fleeting emotion is going to last forever, maybe I'll feel different in a weeks time idk)
anyway I'm going to try to get a little bit more sleep because I've got to be up for work at 6 for my actual grownup job that I should probably pay more attention to
(this is also totally not some way to subtly say I'm not going to finish the dead should stay dead BTW, I love that fic and I'm proud of what it is and what I've got planned for it, so to the people who are still reading please don't worry 💜)
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