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sweetiecutie · 7 months

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🖤Fuck or die🖤

Paring: slasher! König x fem! Reader

Warnings: NSFW, mdni, dead dove do not eat, non-con so rape, cuckolding, unwilling cheating, oral, facefuck, dick piercing bc I know y’all like it, unprotected sex, blood, murder, gore in the end. This is only fiction, don’t take any of this too seriously! If you feel triggered by any of these tags - just scroll past!

Word count: 4k, holy fucking shit

A/n: not me writing this in one day, jesus fucking christ😮‍💨 It’s first time I wrote something so violent, but I think I did pretty good! Originally planned to post it on halloween night but I’m too eager to share!! Also, I tried my best to fix all mistakes by proofreading it 4 times, I really did, but I’m pretty sure that I left out some still

It’s been very uneasy in a small town where you lived - series of blatant murders shook up all inhabitants with their brutality. Cruelly butchered corpses gave a hint of culprit’s strength, so cops guessed it was a man. And the most terrifying thing about this whole situation was that this maniac was still on loose - he never left any evidences, not a damn thing - nothing that could give a clue of who he was. The only trace he’s ever left wasn’t an accident or his mistake, but a well-planned thing - after appearing nameless in numerous news reports and articles he finally decided to introduce himself, writing KÖNIG with his victim’s blood on white flooring, said victim’s two bloody teeth serving as umlaut.

And his motives behind picking out victims were just as unclear - there was nothing in common between all these people: he didn’t have any preferences in victim’s sex or age, their profession nor appearance - as long as they lived in one family house, to avoid anyone hearing their screams, you figured. It seemed that he simply loved killing, who that was - didn’t matter.

You can’t say how exactly it all happened. It was another evening that you were spending at your boyfriend’s place - Paul’s parents were out of town for a few days for anniversary of their wedding, leaving a huge house for their only son. You felt uneasy - there weren’t any new murders in over a month, people were scared that maniac will go “haunting” very soon, which meant that no one was safe.

Paul only cooed at you soothingly when you shared your worries with him, promising to “protect you from all weirdos out there”, placing a comforting kiss on your forehead. So to distract yourselves you decided to throw a movie night - stacking up with snacks and beer, Netflix window opened on a large tv-screen, ready to serve its purpose as you made last preparations.

Cuddled up on the comfy couch, your boyfriend’s comforting warmth slowly seeped into your tense muscles, you watched some corny comedy, groaning in tandem at poorly-made jokes. When suddenly a sound of shattered glass jolted you both up, staring tensely at each other.

- I’ll go check it, - Paul said, getting up and heading to the living room from where the noise came. Everything was quiet for a few long minutes, your fingers fiddled with loose string on the corner of fluffy blanket as you heard some crashing and your boyfriend’s angry shouting:

- Y/n, get out of here!

Then everything was as if in a blur; tall figure clad in all black stepped into the living room, white scream mask contrasting starkly, huge knife covered in thin layer of blood was shining in blue tv-light. Your heart dropped to your stomach as you stared at the man in front of you - sticky feeling of fear seemed to fill every muscle in your body with heavy lead, making it impossibly hard to move even an inch. And then something in your head snapped, you threw yourself off the couch and towards the door opposite from killer, but he was way quicker - huge hands gripped you by your shoulders, rising you off your feet easily and dragging you back towards living room, your struggling and screaming did nothing to help.

You were now kneeling in front of this psycho, hands tied up tightly with coarse rope that dug painfully into your soft skin, surely leaving deep indents and dark bruises. Your boyfriend was laying on his side a few meters afar - bound by his wrists and ankles with same rope, crimson blood oozed out of deep stabbing wound in his stomach, nose obviously broken and bleeding - all these a result of his grapple with intruder, which obviously didn’t end in Paul’s favour.

- Please, - you weeped, tears and snot covered all of your face, whole body trembled with fear and adrenaline. - Please, I’ll do anything you want, just don’t kill me, - you managed to choke out, silent cries tore through your chest, their intensity made it hard for you to breathe - you were hysterical.

- Oh, I know you will, sweetheart, - mechanical voice said in mock sympathy. One huge glowed hand came up to cup your chin, causing you to jolt violently upon feeling the contact; murderer tilted your head upwards, your insides churning upon laying your eyes on white plastic of his mask.

His thumb rubbed soft circles on your wet cheek - it was almost ridiculous how gently he touched you. This made you sob even more, but you didn’t dare to turn away, too scared to anger him.

- That would be a shame to kill such a pretty little thing, after all, - maniac said, glove-clad pad of his thumb swiped over your trembling bottom lip, soft cotton absorbing the mixture of your tears and saliva glazing it. - I may have an idea. Wanna hear it?

Silence set in for a few long gut-wrenching seconds which was interrupted only by your quiet sobbing and sounds of your boyfriend struggling against tight ropes. Quiet squeal tore through your chest as huge hand squeezed your cheeks harshly, yanking your face upward, forcing you to look up at König. Your bleary from tears eyes fixed upon two black holes in his mask, where man’s eyes supposedly were.

- I said “wanna hear it”? - slasher gritted out, his tone harsh as he put heavy emphasis on every syllable he uttered, making you shrink even further into yourself. You nodded your head hastily, not wanting to try out your luck any more.

- Y-yes, - you stammered, your voice giving out making your response sound more like a kitten’s squealing rather than human speech. König stared at you for a few long silent seconds, your knees beginning to tremble from both fear and painful exposure to hard flooring, which soon irradiated onto the whole of your body.

- I’ve been watching you guys, you know? For a few weeks now, - he said nonchalantly, his grip on your face loosened, long fingers tracing intricate shapes on your cheeks and temples, tucking a few strands of hair behind your ears, getting it out of your eyes. A wave of hysterical cries threatened to tear through your throat upon hearing his words, but you tried to suppress them as much as you physically could, staying still before him.

- Yes, - his voice sounded delicate - as if one of those passionate lovers who proclaimed their tender feelings. - Seen you guys do stuff… kiss, cuddle, fuck. A pathetic view, to be honest, - as he said so, his fingers came to tangle in your messy hair, massaging your scalp with soft movements. You felt sick. This man with a dagger bigger than your forearm clasped tightly in one hand, was caressing you so tenderly with another one - his unpredictable behaviour was making your guts churn.

He turned toward your boyfriend who was still thrashing harshly, struggling with all his might against secure confines of tight rope. Your gaze shifted towards your lover as well - the sight made your heart ache - his blood - some already caked and some fresh and shiny - covered the whole bottom of Paul’s face, a makeshift gag out of piece of some fabric was tied skilfully around his head - by the looks of it not to be untied by itself. His eyes met murderer’s, you could make out his muffled promises of killing the bastard, threats to not touch you and to get the fuck out of here. Murderer didn’t look impressed at all, staring silently at your man lying at his feet.

- Look at this pathetic scumbag - I tied your hands loosely, hoped for a bit of a fight, - harsh noise came from the speaker behind the mask, which you figured to be a sigh. König then turned back towards you, his head tilting to the side slightly, you could practically feel his intense gaze prickling on your skin. - Why are you even wasting your time on this piece of shit? He can’t even fuck you right, and you expected this piece of shit to actually protect you from danger? Provide for you?

Hot tears rushed down your cheeks at his words, as you stayed silent, not knowing what to say. König sighed again, rolling his shoulders to rid himself of the tension in sore muscles, his neck popping loudly, making you jolt at the sound.

- Now, my plan is - how about I show you what a real man is like? Set the bar high for you, hm? - he said, a cool glimmer of blood-stained blade caught your eye as König twirled his knife skilfully in between thick fingers barely twenty centimetres away from your face. He noticed your attention shifting from him to his little tool, softly nudging your chin up to look back at him. - Oh, don’t worry darling. If you’re being a good girl that thing won’t touch you, deal?

You nodded your head frantically, swallowing a thick lump in your throat. - Anything, - you choked out, voice hoarse and barely audible but it was enough for him to hear.

- I like the eagerness, - murderer chuckled, straightening his back from semi-crouching position to stand to his full height. His hand left your face with a small pinch on your tear-stained cheek, tossing his knife from one hand to another as if he was juggling; finally gripping the handle tight König pointed the tip of sharp blade towards your boyfriend: - I want you to watch. You dare closing your eyes and she’s dead.

Your eyes widened in panic, staring fearfully at Paul, mouthing silent “please” at him. Maniac shifted his attention back to you; he put his knife into its holster which was attached to his thigh with tight leather straps, you noted that he didn’t secure the handle, making it easier to pull the knife out in one move if needed.

You watched as if in slow motion how his hands came to the waistband of his black jeans, undoing the button and tugging zipper down, pulling front pants pieces apart. Your gaze darted up towards his mask-covered face, confusion mixed with terror written on your face - your insides dropped as you finally realised what he actually meant.

- What? Doll, I promised to show you what a real man is like, - one big hand came to rest on the crown of your head, not pushing nor pulling, just staying there securely. - Now I warn you, you dare using your teeth - I’ll pluck every single one of them before gutting you like a fucking pig, you get it?

Your breath stopped upon hearing his words, shoulders started shaking as strong bout of adrenaline rushed through your veins, making your poor heart pound crazily, threatening to break your ribs from the inside. You nodded your head vigorously, all of a sudden extremely aware of the tight rope binding your wrists together, how your fingers prickled from constricted blood flow, how much your shoulders ached from being pulled back for so long.

- Good girl. Now, go on, - König said, lightly pushing your head towards his clothed crotch. You had to crane your head up painfully because of the height difference between you two in order to even reach König’s private parts. You gazed up at him, unsure of what exactly he wanted you to do, but he just stared down at you silently, not offering any instructions nor comments.

You darted your tongue out, licking a noticeable bulge showing through his boxers, soaking black fabric in your spit. You did it again, and again, fear and adrenaline subduing feelings of humiliation and shame, you could hear your boyfriend’s muffled “get your fucking hands off her”, but König didn’t seem to pay slightest attention to the other male. You tilted your head to the side, pressing your opened mouth to the thick shaft that was trapped between man’s v-line and his tight underwear, sucking on it softly. That made slasher heave a deep sigh, hand on your head tangled deeper in your hair, holding you firmly in place, indicating for you to keep going.

- Now pull my boxers down, - psycho ordered a few seconds later; his voice, though contorted by voice changer, now sounded deeper. You looked frightfully up at him, your hands still bound tightly behind your back.

- But… how? - you asked, a spark of hope igniting in your chest as thought of him untying your hands popped up in your head. But it was extinguished just as quickly as it appeared with his next words:

- Well, think about it, - he shrugged his broad shoulders ever so slightly, your mind racing at the speed of light as you tried to figure out the problem.

You opened your mouth, moving as slowly as you could to indicate that you didn’t mean to do anything reckless - baring your teeth and gently hooking the elastic of his boxers, your canines grazing slightly against warm skin of murderer’s lower stomach. Once you secured your hold on elastic you pulled down on it, managing to slide it down slightly. König’s hard cock sprung right out, standing tall and thick against his clothed stomach - tip was concealed by brownish foreskin, and your eyes widened at the sheer size of him. Your attention was caught by two symmetrical rows of shiny silver balls running along mighty shaft, glistening coldly is white light of living room’s chandelier.

- Now, doll, that’s what a real good cock looks like, - man said, his free hand came to wrap around thick shaft, pumping it a few times to reveal pink head, a shiny bead of precum sitting in the middle of it. - Open wide, princess. And mind your teeth.

You let your mouth fall open, sticking your tongue out; his cock was standing too high for you to reach it in your kneeling position so König had to guide his length down to your lips, your mouth managing to only take his tip and a little bit more inside.

With your mouth full of other man’s cock your eyes wandered in the direction of your boyfriend; thrashing around seemed to finally exhaust him, crimson blood oozed out of the wound in his stomach. His chest was heaving in tandem with his wheezing breath, angry tears streamed down his temples as he stared with fierce anger at your abuser, the sight made your throat clench, causing you to gag on killer’s hefty length.

- Aw, poor girl is not used to a decent cock, huh? Tell me, did the even reach down to your throat? Lemme guess - he was cumming a few minutes after shoving his pathetic ten centimetres in this precious mouth, wasn’t he? - König chuckled darkly, suddenly pushing down onto your head, forcing you to take half his length down your tight throat, keeping you in place as you choked around his thickness, metal balls were rubbing painfully against the softness of your tongue, irritating sensitive buds of it.

Murderer’s free hand joined the one resting on your nape, gathering your hair in a makeshift ponytail, fixating your head in one position. Tears of pain and humiliation rushed down your reddened cheeks as man fucked his massive cock into your tight throat; his pace was erratic, without certain rhythm, making it hard for you to synchronise your breathing with his irregular thrusts. Your lungs burned with lack of air, dainty kneecaps ached from standing for so long on hard flooring, surely bruising your tender skin.

He let go of you only when you actually started to choke, your whole face reddening with exertion; thick strings of spit mixed with precum connected your swollen lips to glistening pink tip, fat tears rolled down your cheeks, dripping down your chin onto the floor below. A choked cry tore through your chest as massive hands manhandled you around, forcing your head down so that your wet cheek was pressed against cold hardwood facing your boyfriend, your back arched and ass up high in the air. König kneeled down behind you, backs of your thighs were touching coarse denim sitting snugly around his legs, cold metal rivets of his holster contrasting brutally with warmth of your skin. Broad palms kneaded on soft pudge of your ass, delivering a strong smack to the swell of your buttcheek, impact softened slightly by the fabric of your shorts and his glove.

Your boyfriend started thrashing as hard as ever, grunting and screaming as much as he could as König pulled your shorts along with your underwear down to your knees, huge hands resting on the bottom part of your ass, thumbs spreading your pussy open. Silent tears ran down from your eyes, gathering in a small puddle on the floor; you heard maniac tut behind your back, a pad of thumb swiped up and down your slit, making you jolt from sudden contact.

- What a shame, - he heaved a deep sigh, straightening his shoulders and looking up at your boyfriend. - She’s wet, dude.

A few small sobs left you upon his words. Paul tried talking back, but a horrible bubbling sound came out of his throat - gag in his mouth was completely red with absorbed blood, some of it oozed down the corners of his mouth, adding to the bloody mess on his face. You sobbed at the sight, squeezing your eyes shut to avoid looking at horrible picture.

- Turns out our little slut likes it rough, yeah? - König mocked, leaning over your frail form, one meaty forearm rested next to your head, huge chest pressed tightly against your back, overstimulating your thus on age senses. Terrifying mask was barely a few centimetres afar from your face as man whispered right next to your ear: - Did he ever fuck you rough?

His heavy gaze was fixed expectantly upon you, huge hand that still rested on your ass squeezed your flesh painfully, causing you to cringe. - No, - you mouthed, but that was more than enough for him. Slasher hummed in acknowledgment, straightening back into his kneeling position.

- Don’t worry love, I’ll give this pretty pussy what she needs, - psycho said, fisting his leaking cock a few times before aligning swollen tip against your tight entrance. With slow but persistent push of his hips König forced one third of his length inside your poor cunt, fresh dose of hot tears rushed from your eyes, pain of penetration adding to the ache all over your body.

With a sharp snap of his massive hips man forced as much of his cock as it’d go into you. Loud yelp tore through your throat, scratching it painfully; stretch of his girthy cock was too much for your pussy to take, ladder of piercings adding to unpleasant feeling. Tender walls fought against his thick length, such sudden stretch caused your muscles to reflexively constrict around him more, drawing a throaty groan to tumbling out of killer’s broad chest.

- There there, dearie. Poor pussy so used to pathetic cocks, can’t even take me whole, - König said in fake compassion, you felt his length throb within you, twitching a few times. Strong hands held you in place tightly, preventing you from moving your hips even for a millimetre.

Murderer generously allowed you a minute or so for your poor cunny to accommodate to his size before beginning to move his hips in shallow but quick thrusts. Soon enough König was full on fucking into you on rapid pace, your whole body jolting forward with intensity of his mighty thrusts, strong arms yanking you back in place every so often.

One of his deadly hands slithered around your ridiculously smaller form, index and middle fingers danced across your spread around his dick folds, causing your stomach to tense at sudden contact. Free hand yanked you up by the rope binding your wrists, urging you to raise your torso; your shoulder blades were pressed tightly against his heaving chest, warmth emitted off him like a fucking radiator.

Clothed fingertips rubbed tight relentless circles on your clit, causing thick pleasure to rush up and down your spine and your back arch uncontrollably. Your teeth clenched to suppress all the small sounds threatening to spill out of your lips; you felt König’s massive form shift behind you, cold plastic of horrendous mask pressed against the side of your face - he was whispering right into your ear, soft voice real and unchanged:

- I’m gonna slit your fucking throat if you’re not using it, - that caused a shiver to rush down your spine, arising goosebumps in its wake. You moaned out, doing as the murderer wanted, letting all the small sighs and moans flow freely from your lips, your voice lower than usual from all the crying and throatfucking.

Your breathing became shallow; your head just wasn’t working anymore - emotional shock along with physical abuse drained you out of all strength - you were a mere rug doll in psycho’s tight grip, and he could do whatever he pleased with you, you were too exhausted to fight back anyway.

Consciousness started to slip out of your grasp, vision blurred out with tears, dark spots appearing in the corners; König’s throbbing dick pounded your poor pussy mercilessly, thick cockhead nudged against all the sweet spots inside of you, his piercings stimulating you even further as if in spite of all your attempts to resist pleasure psycho was forcing onto you. A tight coil curled in the pit of your stomach, threatening to explode with every harsh snap of mighty hips against your reddened ass. Soaked with your slick fabric of König’s gloves felt overbearing against your clit, his fingers never once stopping to rub your sensitive nub.

A few moments later something deep within you snapped, like a rubber band stretched to its limit - suddenly the world around you turned white, ringing noise filled your ears as you had the most painful orgasm of your life being wrung out of you; your body quivered and thrashed in serial killer’s strong grip, unintelligible sounds and words poured out of your lips, barely louder than a whisper. And then everything became quiet. Soft velvet of darkness enveloped your bruised and exhausted body; you were drowning in warm waves of sleep, not finding it in yourself to try and fight them off. You gave in happily, trusting yourself in welcoming hands of darkness and quiet, afar from horrible reality, afar from fear and danger.

It felt as if your head was splitting in two - horrible ache settled somewhere deep inside of your brain, pain irradiated from within to the outsides of both hemispheres, causing you to groan in agony quietly in. Your whole body hurt, eyelids felt swollen and heavy even as they were closed; and then suddenly your eyes snapped open.

You were lying on cold hardwood flooring in your boyfriend’s living room, shorts and underwear still pulled down to your knees, but your hands now free from rope. You pulled your bottoms back up, hot tears pooling in your eyes as you let out a choked sob. You felt wretched, disgusting, dirty.

- Paul? - you called out to your boyfriend, the sound of your own voice startling you - hoarse and scratchy, total opposite from your usual octave.

As you turned around your breath got caught up in your chest, bitter ball of bile got stuck in your throat - you felt like you were about to throw up.

Here lay Paul - pale and lifeless, dull eyes staring blankly into nothingness, gag still fixed tightly around his head, now brown with dried out blood. Some of his insides spilled out of the gaping cut across his stomach, lying on the floor in a small heap right next to him, huge puddle of blood spread out on the floor, getting into all small cracks and gapes in wooden flooring.

And on the wall behind, in strange brownish color that looked all too similar to the caked blood on your boyfriend’s face, in sprawling handwriting were words:

SEE YOU SOON ♡

Slasher! König Masterlist

Another a/n: I’m planning on making it a series - let me know what you guys think<3 Likes, reblogs and comments are highly appreciated! Give writes some love - we live off feedback<3

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romantichomicide95 · 9 months

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⠲megumi fushiguro-couples curse.

anon request: “Imagine having to fake date Megumi on a mission because a curse only like attacks couples.” notes: gumi and reader are awkward and shy. just two cuties. mutual pining.

God would your heart shut up? You felt like it was pounding outside your chest, riddled with anxiety. You and Megumi were walking along, headed to face the mysterious curse that, for some reason, only attacks couples. Of course you and Megumi weren’t a couple, despite how much your heart aches for it, so it had forced you to fake date each other for the day.

Megumi walks beside you, his gaze fixed on the path ahead. Your hands were intertwined, you couldn’t tell if the clammy feeling was coming from you or from him. Every so often you couldn’t stop yourself from stealing glances at him, noticing his stark features, how handsome he looks even with his ever stoic gaze.

As per your research into the curse, it is clear that it only strikes when couples engage in intimate acts, particularly kissing. With this knowledge in mind, you’re both determined to fool the curse and complete your mission. But with that determinations comes a sense on unease and fear, with your ever growing feelings for Megumi the thought of kissing him is both exciting and nerve wrecking.

The late afternoon sun shines bright, and as you walk along the park you start to feel more comfortable and at ease with the way Megumi’s hand fits in yours. You look up at him and you can’t help yourself imagining a scenario in which this could be real. You and Megumi together, hand in hand on a real date. Not a mission.

As the sun begins to set, it’s vibrant colors casting a glow over the park, you and Megumi find yourselves in a secluded spot, away from the eyes of passerby’s and you put up a veil around a particularly romantic looking gazebo. As you step inside, the tension between you is palpable, both of you aware of the impending kiss that will trigger the curse.

“Okay. Should we-uh- ya know? Try and trigger the curse to show itself?” You ask, your voice trembling slightly as you pose the question.

Megumi's eyes avoid yours, a pink hue rising to his cheeks. He is trying his best to remain composed, but you can sense nervousness in him. “Uh-Y-yeah I guess we should. It’s what we’re here for right?”

“Ready?” he asks nervously, and you nod your head with a small smile. Slowly, he leans in, his eyes closed, and his lips gently meet yours. The kiss is brief and hesitant, but his lips tastes so sweet, you almost forget where you are. Shadows swirl around you, twisting and contorting, and it brings you back to reality. The curse takes form, a grotesque creature, and you pull away.

Together, you and Megumi ignite your cursed energy, weapons at the ready. You both fight with all your might. And as the battle rages on, you catch glimpses of Megumi, whose usual calm and collected demeanor seems to have been mixed with a slight sense of embarrassment.

Finally, with one last strike, you defeat the curse. The shadows disperse, leaving you both breathless. “Well, that was easier than I thought.” You say with a chuckle.

Megumi’s silent as he looks at you, taking a step closer. To your surprise he pulls you back in, his lips meeting yours once more. This time, there's no curse, no mission. Just the two of you. The kiss lingers for a moment before he’s grabbing you by the waist, pulling you in closer. Your body melts as the kiss goes on, the taste of his sweet lips is the only thing that matters as the world around you fades away.

When you finally break apart, Megumi's cheeks have turned a deeper shade of pink. His eyes meet yours, shyness sparkling behind them as he takes a step back, trying to regain his composure.

"Wow," you manage to breathe out, your voice barely above a whisper. "That was... unexpected."

"Uh- yeah… sorry," Megumi apologizes, looking down at the ground and awkwardly scratching the back of his neck. “I-I uh- I got caught up in the moment. Just, I kinda always wanted to do that.”

You reach out to gently touch his arm, a gesture of reassurance. "You don’t have to be sorry, Megumi," you say softly. "I-uhm. I always wanted to do that too." You say shyly.

Silence settles between you, the weight of unspoken words and feelings hanging in the air. Megumi's gaze meets yours, his voice steady as he speaks once more. "I've been wanting to do that for a really long time actually," he confesses. "I…well I like you Y/N. Like, more than just friends.”

A surge of warmth fills you as your heart starts to race. "I…I like you to Megumi…a lot," you admit, a small smile spreading across your face. "I've been trying to hide it from you, but being fake dating today was nice and I don’t think I can hide it anymore ."

Megumi's expression softens. "I'm glad," he says, his voice filled with relief. "maybe uh, maybe we can stop pretending than?”

You nod, excitement bubbling within you. "I'd really really like that, Megumi.” you say, a big smile gracing your lips.

Megumi takes a step closer, his hand reaching out for yours. “Can I…Can I kiss you again?” he asks.

You nod closing the gap between you , eagerly pressing your lips against his. The kiss is no longer hesitant or brief, but filled with desire. Time seems to stand still as you melt into each other's embrace, savoring every moment.

When you finally pull away, breathless and flushed, Megumi rests his forehead against yours, a content smile on his face. "I can't believe we wasted so much time pretending," he murmurs.

You giggle softly, your fingers gently tugging at his porcupine locks. "Well, better late than never, right?" you reply, unable to suppress a giggle.

He nods, his arms wrapping around you in a tight embrace. "Definitely," Megumi says tucking a strand of hair behind your ear, before shyly adding, “you uh…you look really pretty by the way.”

You can’t help but smile even wider. “Thank you.” You say, leaning into his embrace and as the sun sets in the background, you can’t help but feel excited about this newfound path you and Megumi will journey on together.

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normal-with-adhd-is-a-joke · 1 year

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one shocking thing that people with ADHD do that makes us the most annoying bitches in disability awareness and acceptance circles

I encourage both ADHD and non-ADHD people to read this, I'm hoping awareness on both sides can lead to reducing some of the hostility I've seen towards people with ADHD in disability circles. And yes, my fellow ADHDers, part of fixing this problem is us doing the work to avoid using communication techniques that can be triggering to people who have experienced ableism.

I want to talk about something I call reciprocal storytelling. Basically, telling a story that is in some way connected to a story someone else just told. Non-ADHD people do it too, but I've noticed people with ADHD do it a lot more than other people. If you ever listen to two people with ADHD have a conversation, it's pretty much a nonstop string of loosely related stories.

So why is this problematic when communicating with other disabled people? Unfortunately, ableist people often weaponize reciprocal storytelling to belittle the experiences of disabled people. I think the easiest way to have people understand this is with an example.

We're going to create a character called Laurie. Laurie has chronic, debilitating knee pain. Laurie just met a woman, Sandra, who injured her knee while running a few years ago. Sandra's injury was painful and interfered with her life quite a bit, but it's healed now. Their conversation goes something like this. Laurie: I can't walk with you up those stairs. Do you want to take the elevator with me so we can keep talking? Sandra: Sure. You know, I had my knee injured once while running. Took me a few months to get back into the swing of things. Something that really helped me was exercising it. Laurie: I'm sorry that happened, knee injuries are the worst, especially if you enjoy being active. Unfortunately working out hasn't helped. The thing that's worked the best has been not pushing myself too hard. Sandra: I thought that too, but I worked through the pain and it eventually went away. You just have to not give up. Laurie: haha, yeah I guess. Well, this is my floor, got to go.

Sandra was ableist in this conversation. She asserted that she could treat Laurie's pain despite knowing nothing about it and having no medical experience. When Laurie said that she had either already tried Sandra's method or thought it would be dangerous, Sandra less-than-subtly hinted that Laurie wasn't trying hard enough to get better. In this conversation, reciprocal storytelling became a tool to make Laurie feel guilty for being disabled. Now, let's look at a scenario of a person with ADHD talking to another disabled person:

Paul has ADHD. He's in a meeting for the disability club at his college. Right now, Ron, a manual wheelchair user, is talking about an experience he had on campus. Ron: I went to Professor Smith's class today and when I got there, there was a chair halfway blocking the door. I asked him to move it so I could get into the classroom and he told me to move it myself. Obviously, that's going to be really difficult for me to do since I have to use my hands to propel. I asked again for it to be moved and he called me lazy. Paul: Oh, Professor Smith was ableist to me last semester! I have an accommodation to sit in the front of the class. When I got there one day there were no front-row seats available. When I went to him he told me seats were first come first serve and that I should have the self control to pay attention to him and not the people in front of me.

To a person with ADHD, this conversation may seem harmless and non-ableist. It's just one person sharing a story related to another person's story. In fact, Paul might have even been trying to add credibility to Ron's story and encourage him to report it. However, this is not how Ron, a person who has likely experienced ableism, would probably interpret this conversation. To him, this might come across as Paul trying to make this experience about him and take attention away from what he had experienced. Or, it might come across as saying that having trouble paying attention in class because of a professor's actions is the same as being physically barred from entering a class because of a professor's actions. Either way, Ron is likely to leave the conversation feeling that Paul values talking about his own disability over listening to the experiences of others. Eventually, if this happens too often, Ron and other members of the group may begin to resent Paul for his perceived self-centeredness.

So how do we fix this? One, on the part of people with ADHD, practice active listening, try to make sure others are done speaking before you begin, and avoid jumping into talking about yourself without giving any feedback to what you just heard. For people without ADHD, communicating how you feel and why is key. The ADHD people in your life might not know they're hurting you if you don't tell them. Even if the ADHD person initially responds with hurt or offense, this doesn't mean the conversation failed. A lot of people with ADHD also have rejection-sensitive dysphoria and may need time to calm down and think about what you said before they can apply it.

#cpunk #cripplepunk #cripple punk #actually adhd #actually disabled #actually neurodivergent #tagging this in both neurodivergent and physdisabled circles to hopefully get it out to more people #sorry this got long btw turns out I have a lot to say about this #long post

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lover-of-mine · 2 months

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Thank you for your answer it really cleared up the whole coordinator thing as someone that doesn't know how shows work it got very confusing and also thanks for indulging my asks :)

Also I've seen a couple of people saying the kitchen scene might be more in episode 5 where they will resolve their conflict there and like it make sense but dragging a buddie tension for two episodes doesn't seem really on brand with the show. Like unless it's the catastrophes episodes or the lawsuit (even then it was resolved very fast) they don't drag on tensions like this especially if we only have 10 episodes and buck and eddie aren't the only ones in the show. Also, I doubt Eddie would hold a grudge against buck cause of an accident happening on the basketball court even if some words are thrown out (it ain't worse than that groceries scene). What do you think?

But I'm biased cause I won't be able to watch episode 5 until Sunday, so my heart would be tortured for two days and not able to get my fill on tumblr to help me cope, lol

Honestly, I think the loft scene is the last scene of 7x04, since we know Buck and Eddie are working together on 7x05 and the scene kinda feels like an end of episode scene? It could be that they are awkward and then Eddie shows up at the end of 7x05 to clear the air, but I'm guessing it is from 7x04. I'm guessing the progression might be hangar, station, basketball, Buck spiraling with Maddie, loft, unless the basketball is toward the end there, then maybe it would be more stuff happening in the middle, you end the episode with Buck spiraling on that other scene in the loft that he has the different outfit, then you start 7x05 with those other stills of the gym, that Buck is in his civilian clothes, they "clear the air", Eddie notices Buck is being weird and shows up at the end of the episode to fix things. I think it would all depend on how bad was the basketball thing, considering that still where Chim seems to be mad at Buck and there's an abandoned shoe that looks like the one Eddie is wearing and the way Eddie has the bandage in his hand on the still from the gym, they could drag it out a little bit but less in a sense of Eddie is holding it against Buck and more in a Buck is hiding from Eddie sense. I would like to see it be dragged out a little bit tbh, you have Buck spiraling on 7x04 and you have Eddie "spiraling" on 7x05? Especially since Marisol seems to be on 7x05 and there could be problems going on there too, we could get some interesting movements on the story if they dragged it out a little bit more. Even more with the way Oliver and Ryan keep saying that the friendship will persevere, I feel like making the conflict last 10 minutes in episode could be underwhelming? I mean, we know Buck and Eddie are best friends, but they also suck at talking about shit that matters, and Eddie might not understand what's going on for a while, or Buck might start avoiding Eddie because he's scared Eddie is gonna tell him to go away and he doesn't want to get left. There's a lot to explore in a possible conflict triggered by obvious jealousy and Buck's abandonment issues, and I think it would be fun if they did explore it, because it could be a way to get Buck and Eddie on a path where they start talking, and they really need to start talking lol.

#but i dont know #maybe the reason the loft still were not released with the 7x04 still is because the scene is not from 7x04 #that will always be a possibility #we'll have to wait a bit there i guess lol #911 #911 spoilers #911 speculation #i really need a tag for asks #macky-ag

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hanmi-xo · 7 months

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Chapter 3: “Curiosity of Ambiguity”

| Between Us | Chapter List |

Previous | Next ------------------

| L I H U A |

It’s been a few days since the I went to the museum with the others, but that painting was hard for me to forget. I didn’t take any photos of my old artworks before selling them off, and I wish I did.

I laid in my bed and stared at my ceiling. My dog slept peacefully next to me. His soft snores were ambience.

My thoughts were interrupted by a notification. It was someone who I didn’t think would reach out to me.

I didn’t bother messaging him back.

I saw him at the reunion, but I didn’t speak to him. He made multiple attempts trying to speak about the matter, and when he did, his best friend Jeonghan was right behind him.

Jeonghan was Astrid’s ex who pretended to be something he wasn’t. Behind that pretty face and sweet words, he was a massive manipulator and was two faced. He was the devil that caused chaos wherever he went. He always seemed to find joy in putting others down.

He was the cause of Joshua breaking up with me.

And he antagonized Seungcheol about Astrid at the reunion.

I guess seeing his ex-best friend with his ex-girlfriend triggered him. Maybe it was jealousy? Or possessiveness? Maybe both?

I’m not sure.

I just remember Astrid crying and Seungcheol being held back by her. He was fuming, ready to fight. And before things could escalate, Astrid and I told them that it would be best to just go.

It was clear Jeonghan wouldn’t stop, and Joshua was there to witness it all, and he hardly did anything about it.

Joshua always let his friend cause problems. It was like he was blinded by their friendship to know what was right and wrong.

The reunion was just horrible.

I even went to the balcony to avoid it all. I had to take a breather. Seeing those two was like seeing a ghost.

Now he’s here again.

Reaching out to me to fix what happened years before. But I didn’t want to deal with him right now.

I didn’t need him ruining my mood. Today’s an important occasion.

I won’t let him ruin it.

---

| M I N G H A O |

I rubbed my eyes and glared at Dokyeom’s message. What the hell is he on?

It’s my day off and now I have to pick up Lihua from the cemetery?

What kind of request is this?

I rolled over to my back and I began to look for the chat Dokyeom put me in with his sister. That was the only way I’d be able to contact her.

I was still drowsy and it took awhile for me to find her name.

The last time I personally messaged a woman that wasn’t my mother was like 3 years ago. Was I supposed to be polite to Lihua? Greeting her or whatever?

Nah.

She’s Dokyeom’s sister.

Knowing Dokyeom, he’ll be upset if I leave her. I don’t need him nagging me later if he finds out she went home by herself.

I sighed.

She texts just like Dokyeom… why do they always use that dumb face?

I dragged myself off my bed. I have to go get my keys and pick up that girl.

Cemetery…

Now that I think about it, why would she be at the cemetery?

I pulled down my sunglasses and looked out of my passenger window. There she stood patiently in front of the cemetery entrance with a dog by her side.

The sun was shining brightly during this nice weather, and it was easy to spot her in the sunlight.

Lihua looked at me with confusion once I pulled up towards her. She had a picnic basket in her hands and she seemed to be dressed decently.

She wore a white lettuce trim dress along with her usual white sneakers. Her hair was tied up in a ponytail with some of her bangs falling out to frame her face. A camera was hung around her neck from its sling. She had a small leather backpack on, and next to her was a black Shiba Inu that she held with a red leash. It wagged its tail at me with excitement.

She looked like she went on private trip. But why at the cemetery? She seemed too well dressed for the occasion.

She looked at me with a perplexed look until I pointed at the door to come inside. There’s no way I’m going to open the front door for her. She has hands. She can do it herself.

I watched her pick up the dog with one of her hands while she struggled opening the door. Her hands were full, and her dog was getting excited. He wouldn’t sit still in her arms.

I sighed. I don’t have all day.

I got out of my car and came to her side. Lihua stared at me while I opened the door for her. Her dog moved around in her arms and looked at me too. It barked and I ignored it.

I motioned her to enter my vehicle.

“Get in,” I tell her, slightly annoyed.

She bowed her head a bit at me and situated herself within my car.

“Thank you,” she whispered to me.

“Yeah, sure. Whatever.” I shut the door.

I got back in my driver seat and left the premises. She was quiet while her dog moved around in her lap. It was trying to stick its head out of the window.

“Senko,” she whispers to her dog. “No. This isn’t Dokyeom’s car.”

She tried to calm her pet who seemed very energetic. It was hard to ignore the dog’s panting with the follow of soft barks. I can hear Lihua hushing the dog and in return it would whimper and bark louder.

I reached a stop light and stared at the two. The dog wasn’t going to calm down.

I began to pull the window down further down so the dog would shut up.

I watched Lihua look at me with wide eyes before looking back at her dog who quickly stuck out its head.

It looked at me with its tongue sticking out as if it was thanking me.

Lihua looked at me as well before saying, “Thank you.”

She was overly polite and it felt weird. I appreciate her manners and all that, but I’m not used to it. I felt myself stiffen.

“What’s the dog’s name.” I decide to ask since it kept looking at me like I was some fascinating thing.

She tilted her head at me as if she was surprised by my question. She began to pet her dog.

“Senko,” she says. “His name is Senko.”

I saw a subtle smile plaster on her apathetic face. She had a soft spot for her dog. It was easy to see.

Senko looked at her with his tongue out before looking back outside the window. His paws would go up and down with excitement. He was super energetic.

He reminded me of a certain someone…

“I’m sorry,” Lihua suddenly says towards me. She continued to pet her dog while she spoke.

I raised a brow at her. Why was she apologizing?

“I usually ride the bus or get driven around by others. I didn’t think my brother would bother you,” she explained.

The light turned green and I pressed the gas. My eyes remained on the road but some of my attention was on her. I didn’t like how she sounded like she was telling me some sob story.

“It’s whatever,” I tell her. “Besides, your brother didn’t know who to bother anyways. I’m assuming he was going to pick you up or something but he had an urgent meeting with his agent.”

I heard her hum beside me.

“Yeah,” she said. Her voice was almost low as a whisper. “He wanted to take me out and eat since he’ll be leaving town next month.”

I heard her sigh beside me.

“He’s always been kind to me,” her voice was light with affection but a hint of guilt.

I’m not sure what was going on with her, and I wasn’t sure if I was supposed to ask. But I was curious about something…

“Why didn’t Dokyeom go to the cemetery with you?” I say aloud. “That doesn’t seem like him to just leave a girl, much less family, alone.”

There was a moment of silence between us, and I took the chance to glance at her before looking back at the road. She seemed to be thinking of something- almost the state of daydreaming.

“Yeah,” she says. “He doesn’t normally do that. But today was a special occasion.

Special occasion?

“And that is?” I dare ask.

“My mother’s birthday.”

I hit the breaks on my car upon reaching another red light. I felt my car jerk upon my sudden action.

Did I hear that right?

I turned to look at her. My brows were narrowed. She seemed taken back from my anger that was about to come out.

“Why didn’t Dokyeom go?” I ask her. “Does he not care about his mom!?”

My voice came out rather loud and rude, but it bothered me that Dokyeom wasn’t around to celebrate his mother’s birthday. When did she even die? It’s only been over a week since the high school reunion when he mentioned his mom.

Senko stared at me for yelling, and began to bark at me.

Lihua quickly hushed her protective pup and calmed him down before looking at me.

“That’s because that’s not his mom,” Lihua tells me. Her voice was careful yet light.

My eyes widened from her words.

What was that supposed to mean? Are they not siblings?

“Wait.” I said. I was trying to put this all together. “Are Dokyeom and you even siblings?”

There’s no way I just drove some random chick around with her overly excited dog. I refuse to believe that.

Is that why they don’t look alike? Dokyeom and her?

I should have known from the start. They act nothing alike nor do they carry any similar features.

Lihua seemed startled from my question about her and Dokyeom, but then her eyes twinkled and her lips curled up. It was like I said something she was waiting to hear.

“His mom adopted me in middle school,” she says while petting Senko. “My mom’s best friend is his mom, and when you put two and two together…”

Her voice trailed off. She couldn’t speak more about the topic. She didn’t sob or even shed a tear.

But she just smiled while she sat there with a pitiful look.

I hate seeing girls cry. It always makes me feel like I’m obligated to do something. And if I do something, I can be considered a creep and they take it as flirting, but if I don’t do anything then I’m an asshole.

I rather be considered an asshole than for a girl to think I’d like her.

I heard Lihua sigh.

She turned her head to look at me, and her calm nature remained. Not even teary eyes was shown. Although she seemed down, she gave me a soft smile. It looked endearing but not too affectionate. It was like she was telling me that she’s okay even if she wasn’t.

“But yeah,” she suddenly says. She was trying to lift the mood. “Dokyeom and I are adoptive siblings… He didn’t come with me because he believed the occasion should be between actually family members. He’s always been courteous over my mom. It’s nice to have a brother like him. Sometimes I wish he was my real brother…”

Her brown orbs wondered away from me. Her attention went to her dog that yawned before laying down in her lap. She petted him while he tried to sleep.

It was odd knowing that I held a conversation with this girl. She seemed calm and level headed yet endearing.

I didn’t like how nice she seemed. I’m not used to it.

“The light’s green,” she tells me.

I looked back at the road in front of me and saw the go signal. I quickly pressed the gas again. Hopefully she didn’t think I was staring at her.

I was just analyzing her. That’s all.

“Minghao,” I heard her call for me.

I didn’t like how she said my name. It sounded too kind.

“What,” I respond with my eyes on the road.

“You’re not so bad,” she says.

I scoffed.

I knew where this was going to go. She’s going to compliment me then try to hit on me and then play that innocent girl act. I’ve experience before, too many times.

“Listen-“

“Thank you for dealing with my brother and his antics.”

She cut me off before I could express my dislike towards her. The compliment took me off guard. She seemed more glad to know her brother had a friend like me, then complimenting me over all.

It was odd.

I mean, he is her brother. So it would make sense for her to care about Dokyeom…

“It’s whatever…” my voice trailed off. I didn’t know how to respond to her.

After that, she remained quiet for the rest of the ride. There was silence between us, but it wasn’t awkward nor stiffening.

It was surprisingly peaceful.

When I reached her house, I noticed how her eyes were stuck on her phone. There were notifications alerting her and she ended up muting her device.

I could even hear her sigh. She seemed bothered by something.

I didn’t want to ask her about her personal business since I’m not that interested in her life, but she was getting spammed like crazy and it was hard to ignore the alerts.

Was she alright?

Lihua looked up towards her house before meeting my eyes. The sunlight reflected off her leaving a glow that seemed a bit unreal.

“Thank you,” she tells me. Her voice was soft yet clear.

Her smile was gentle yet careful. It bothered me how she looked like that. Much more on how she seemed almost like an angel.

I quickly looked away from her.

I must be seeing things.

I heard her shuffle around with her basket and bag before I decided to turn back around to look at her. I watched as she began to get out of the car while she carried her sleeping pup and picnic basket. She struggled at first, and I was ready to get out and help her, but she stopped me.

“I got it,” she tells me. Her voice remained light as before.

I hesitantly stayed in my seat and watched as she got out of the vehicle swiftly before shutting the door. She looked at me through the passenger window and bowed politely.

Her hair bounced gently as she walked. The breeze made some of her strands fly up and down and she had to move some out of her face so she can find her keys.

I watched her wave at me before entering her home.

She was gone.

I stared at the seat next to me, where Lihua once was. Her faint scent lingered in the air. It smelled like sweet whisky with its sense of earthy and sweet essence.

I narrowed my brows and pulled down the window to let her trace leave my car. I don’t need her scent filling my lungs.

After I pulled the window down to air out her trace, I got a notification. It was from Lihua.

I didn’t respond. Or rather, I didn’t know what to say.

I left her messages on read.

And somehow I couldn’t help but be bothered by her text. I don’t know why, but I did.

I guess a part of me doesn’t believe she’s that terrible to be around, but I also didn’t want to think about having a request like this happen again.

She’s Dokyeom’s sister. I should have an ill views of her, but I also shouldn’t be seeing her like this…

She was gently and ambiguous. Calm yet careful.

She was… odd.

Maybe it’s because she isn’t overly talkative, nor obnoxious, but it also bothers me how she seems too nice of a girl to exist.

The memory of what happened earlier this week came to mind. Dokyeom said something about her losing her touch in art. I don’t fully remember what he said, but I do recall the way she looked at that one flower painting that came in a day before their visit.

She had a good eye with noticing the only nameless painting within the gallery.

Not to mention, the only one I actually really liked.

She’s strange, but more so reserved. I can’t help but be engrossed by her. Maybe it’s because she’s Dokyeom’s sister.

Her existence is still new to me, and knowing my friend had someone in his life without my notice was strange. Maybe I should pay attention more when Dokyeom talks about a girl…

I scoffed.

“What the hell am I doing?” I mutter to myself, waking to reality.

I started up my car and left the premises like I was supposed to do moments ago. I can still smell her faint scent in my car. I was ready to press the buttons to open the window, but I couldn’t find myself to push the buttons.

Her scent filled me like her ambiguity. She was a mystery that I found myself stuck upon.

She’s Dokyeom’s sister. That’s all she’ll ever be to me.

---

| L I H U A |

Senko slept next to me on my bed. I hugged him while I tried to ignored Joshua’s messages.

He acted as if we could be close again, but it’s been over 4 years. If anything, it made me feel uncomfortable.

I told the girls about his sudden contact, and they too had mixed feeling about him.

I put my phone on my shelving that was connected to my bed frame. I didn’t want to think about him anymore.

I’ll deal with him later when the girls come back.

I sat up and began to look through my bag for my journal. I often wrote in it as a way to remember the events that happen in my life. I usually brought it with me so I can tell my mom how my life was going.

But it wasn’t where I left it.

I quickly dumped everything out onto my bed. But it still hasn’t appeared.

I widened my eye as fear came across me. Did drop it at the cemetery? No, because I remember putting it in my bag. Then I got into Minghao’s car…

“Oh no,” I say aloud before grabbing my phone.

I ran down out of my room and down the stairs to see if he would still be in the driveway, but he wasn’t there.

I felt anxiety crawl up my spine, and my gut twisted in fear of its whereabouts. I had to contact Minghao.

Even if he may not like the idea of me bothering him, I still need my journal.

I bit my lip in fear of what he might say to me. He’s Dokyeom’s friend though. If he’s nice enough to pick me up and drop me off, then maybe he’s nice enough to check if my journal’s in his car?

I quickly opened my phone and messaged him.

I hope he’ll read the message and respond to me. I don’t know what I’ll do if I lose it. I wrote all my thoughts and feelings in there.

I can’t let anyone read it.

---

| M I N G H A O |

I stared at her message with her journal in my hand. To think someone who seemed so careful can be so clumsy?

I kept rereading our messages while I took a sip of water. I made my way out of my kitchen before dropping my body onto my couch. I slouched into the seat while I continued to text her.

“I don’t want you to waste gas.”

Pft.

I know she’s being sincere, but can she be any nicer?

She is probably one of the few people to even consider my own time and money. It's hard for me to believe this girl is even real. Way too nice.

The next time I work? Is she serious?

I looked at my calendar that hung on the kitchen pillar before messaging her.

She's far more expressive through text than in person. I found that to be amusing.

I tossed my phone onto the coffee table before lifting up the journal she so cared about. It looked beat up with its torn edges and stitched cover.

I felt it fall out of my fingers upon tearing from its strings and it fell to the floor with a thud.

"Shit," I say aloud.

I felt my gut twist. I didn't intend to rip it. I was only moving it around with my hand. Lihua is going to be upset.

I grabbed everything off the ground and tried to fix the damage that I've done. There were some photos that fell out along with a few pages, and while I tried to organize everything, I noticed a paper that was different from the others.

It was stained, and its material seemed old.

What surprised me more was what was written. Those were Chinese character strokes.

Why did Lihua have that?

SM Post:

Joshua has posted…

• • •

Previous | Next

#seventeen ff #seventeen fanfic #svt minghao #minghao x oc #svt x oc #seventeen x oc #seventeen minghao #xu minghao #seventeen smau #svt smau #minghao ff

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phantomram-b00 · 8 months

Text

Hey so remember the Shunk post? Welp. Guess what, I’m feeling angsty, and why not. I’m going to expand it in a form of a fanfic (well one-shot ish. So here it is! Keep in mind. I’m open to criticism ^^). For those who haven’t read it and would want to read this instead, this is something inspired by Amphibia season final for season 2. So spoilers for both Amphibia and Good omens season 2 in that order. Don’t say I didn’t warn ya. So hope you enjoy! And I put a song at the bottom to match the energy 🤭.

For Everything…

Tag: Angst, Whump?, Ineffable Husband, Hurt Aziraphale, Hurt Crowley, Muriel is their unofficial official adopted child, Post S2, Metatron, I present you angst for your souls, Open ending, Amphibia inspired, This author was feeling silly, violence.

Trigger warning: blood, mild violence, and strong language.

Rating: This is going to PG-13 territory.

Heaven. The one place all mortals raved about since the dawn of time, Even Belinda Carlisle can tell you that “Heaven is a place on earth”. Oh what a beloved place; in their rose-colored view. Right now, what was once beloved place is decorated by blood and hellfire blazing the place that can rival the severity of the bookshop fire. Yet, the fight still commences while Crowley and Aziraphale hide behind the pillars to get to the elevators without going into the crossfire. Meanwhile Muriel tries to sneak their way the best way possible without provoking any opponent. They stop hiding as seeing no one’s on sight yet the elevator was still closed. It most likely been miracle blocked so no one deserts.

“Crap.” Crowley spoke finally gritting his teeth. “Where is Muriel, I specifically told them to report using these walkie-talkies bull crap.”

Aziraphale open his mouth wanting to make a joke. But knowing where they stand, he bite his tongue.

“Crowley, I’m sure they’re alright.” Aziraphale spoke with a reassuring smile.

“You know. This could’ve been avoided if…” Crowley shook his head. “N-nevermind Ange-Aziraphale.”

He frowned.

“No. Say what you going to say.” Azirpahale said looking at him. “Please.”

Crowley looking away refusing to look at the hazel blue eye. He took a deep breath.

“You’re timing is fucking horrible. But fine, you want me to finish my damn sentence? Alright, this could’ve been avoided if you haven’t left Supreme Archangel Aziraphale.” Crowley hissed, even with the glasses on Aziraphale still feel the daggers shooting at him. “But no, because you decided to just say fuck all those six thousand years and choose this place.”

“Crowley I…”

“No! I’m not done!” Aziraphale quickly silence himself. “You made that choice so easily, like it never matter to you at all. You decided to just throw it all away. You…oh! You rather forgive me than… ahh! Aziraphale do you realize just how fucked up that is?”

“I…Crowley. A-all I wanted was to make this a better place. I-I didn’t want this to happen anymore than you do! I..I just wanted to fix things.”

“Oh Aziraphale, nothing last forever.” he coldly remarked. “And you can’t fix what was already damaged so many time.”

Aziraphale’s eyes became glossy, he’s choking back the tears.

“Crowley…”

“Look. I could say I’ve always admired your need to wanting to fix things. But Aziraphale, when will you learn that your selfless will get you hurt?” Crowley said wiping tears that is steaming down his face. “Azirpahale..I…just wished you’d open your eyes.”

Aziraphale wanted to speak but he wiped his tears as well. He look up at Crowley again.

“Crowley. I wish all of this never happened.. I wish I never hurt you in this way. I wish they’d left us alone. But most of all, I wish I never forgave you.” Azirpahale said emphasizing on forgave. “I just wanted to try.. but at the same time, I never wanted to leave you.”

“Azira-“

“Look, I know full well that I owe you between an apology dance and or an alcoholic breakfast or whatever it is as soon as we touch earth or stop this apocalyptic war going on. Crowley, I never would’ve came here if Metatron said you can come along too. Yet I still went, and you can never forgive me for that. I know it isn’t an easy street at all; and frankly you have all obligation to be mad at me for the stunt I’ve pulled. Oh Crowley, my worse offense it never considered you and-“ he failed holding back his tears. “I never meant to say I forgive you. I wanted to say I l-“

Without a thought, Crowley pulled Aziraphale in a hug abandoning his glasses as they both tearfully cried. He hugged back hesitantly.

“I just don’t want you to get hurt an-“

“Crowley!” Muriel said using that walkie-talkie which cause the pair to immediately separate. Crowley cleared his throat and pulled out his walkie-talkie while aziraphale waits patiently.

“Muriel I told you my code name is Anthony.” He spoke rolling his eyes.

“Sorry! I got excited. I just wanted to say that I finally find that pesky Miracle blocker. Sneaky bastards am I right?” Muriel spoke.

“Language-“ Azirpahale chimed in which against Crowley’s attempt couldn’t help but chuckled. He missed this.

“Oh ‘ello Azirpahale! But yeah I should be coming up!” Muriel said. “Just d-“

An angel came and tackled Crowley to the ground causing the walkie-talkie to drop and break. Aziraphale try to get the angel off of him but the angel punches him square in the face causing aziraphale to hold his bloodied nose.

“Traitors! You two will reap what you have sow for trying to stop the ineffable!” The angel sneered as they raise their sword at Crowley to try to pierce his heart but he was able to grip their arm to restraint them.

“Oh right, so sorry we actually care about the bloody world and aren’t as bloody war hungry like you lot!” Crowley mocked as Azirpahale wrapped his arms around the angel’s neck to get them off giving Crowley time to get back up. Crowley notice that the angel dropped their sword so actively pick it up and piece it through the angels chest.

“You…bastards-“ the angel weakly spoke as Aziraphale let them go. dropping to the ground as blood spill from their chest.

“Crap, they’re coming this way, Crowley, give me the sword I’ll try-“

“No. Aziraphale, I’m not having you defend yourself alone. Not this time.”

“We seriously need to work on our communication skills. Now I know what Muriel was talking about mentioning it, I was going to say give the sword to me so I can defend you. I’m not gonna stay another minute of this place.”

“Oh. Right. That can work too Azirpahale.” Crowley said promptly giving the sword to Azirpahale. “Wait a minute, why can’t I have the sword then?”

“Because I know you can handle it. You always do Crowley.” Azirpahale said with a smile.

“..Thanks Aziraphale.” He said trying hard to not show he was smiling but of course failed.

Soon they heard footsteps which prompt them to start running towards the elevator; when the angel came they tackled them and did their effort to prevent them but with each swing from the sword and Crowley’s powers it made their getaway more smoothly.

Ding!

They look and see the elevator and there comes Muriel waving. But look at the scene as they open their eyes and actively tries to press open to keep it open as Crowley and Aziraphale ran towards it like it was the light at the end of a dark tunnel.

An angel almost tried to grab Crowley but Aziraphale swung his sword as the angel did as well causing their sword to clash together.

“Crowley go! I’ll be right there!”

Crowley hesitated but went towards the elevator. He takes the turn to press the open button as Muriel stand back.

“Wait but we can’t abandon him!?” Muriel yelled shaking.

“We’re not kiddo! Aziraphale!” Crowley yelled towards Muriel and then to Aziraphale as he still is in a battle.

Muriel look intensely seeing Aziraphale fight off the angel, admittedly, the angel did get a good scratch at Aziraphale on his arms and face but Aziraphale swiftly prevail over the angel with their reflex and jabs from the sword. Crowley’s cheek grew redder than his own hair seeing this battle, he’ve seen him fight before but he can’t help but feel admiration toward the fact Aziraphale can in his own word, “be a badass”. He shake his head as Aziraphale finally finished with the final bow to the angel.

“Aziraphale! Would you hurry up?!” Crowley yelled as Muriel hold his arm frighten. But is gripping onto the hope.

“I’m co-“

Shunk!

Muriel shrieks holding their mouth. Crowley eyes widen as he was struck with profound horror. Aziraphale cough up blood for a moment as he slowly look down to see a familiar sword piercing through his chest. He notice the flames anywhere. No…

Even as his vision became to blur he look at the corner of his eyes. His eyes was stunned when seeing Metatron holding the handling of what was once Aziraphale’s sword.

“Now look you’ve made me do.” Metatron said showing no ounce of regret.

Aziraphale look back, he can feel he was going numb, his eyes was blurry so he can’t see the crying Muriel and Crowley’s yellow serpent eyes shedding tears.

“C-Crowley..” he choked up with the strength’s mustering up. “I’m sorry…for everything.”

Aziraphale’s arm shakes as he raise it up, Crowley recognizing what he was doing.

“Angel n-no don’t you dare! Don’t pull this shit now!” Crowley cried out. What kill him more was aziraphale smiling, for what? To reassure thing was still okay? Why the blood hell must he smile?

Aziraphale mouthed something before-

Snap!

Just as he dropped to the floor, the elevator was forcibly closing despite Crowley trying desperate to open them back up yelling his name. Atlas the elevator closed and the button for the ground floor glowed causing the elevator to go down.

“No. No. No.” was all Muriel can voiced trying to press the H button repeatedly but to no avail. “Crowley I’m..”

Muriel look as they were ready to apologize, but they were at a lost of word looking at Crowley. they’ve never saw Crowley smoking this badly before.

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mildlycursedhistoricalobject · 2 months

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Can I talk about how people talk about attachment styles? Because like, whether or not people should be using attachment theory, they are, and some of the stuff they’re saying is so shit.

Like my therapist from a few years ago went over attachment theory, and I would fall into the avoidant category. Which I know makes me a difficult person to date, and I’m very aware of my triggers (I have ptsd) and I make sure I communicate with my partners when I’m feeling disconnected and I try to handle that as best I can.

However, all I keep seeing when attatchment theory is brought up is people saying not to date an avoidant under any circumstances and that it’s “not worth it” and they’re awful people and their trauma isn’t an excuse to be “abusive.” And like, yeah, I totally understand why people would have those reactions (and I’m not condoning emotional manipulation or abuse) especially if they’ve been hurt before. I mean, I freely admit that I can be difficult to be in a relationship with, and if someone doesn’t want to be in a relationship with me because of it, I respect that too.

But saying that “avoidants” shouldn’t be allowed to date, or aren’t worth love is just so fucked up. I’m aware that I need to work on myself and my relationships harder than most people, and that ensuring I can be intimate comes from me first, but I’m still a person.

Idk, so many articles are about “how to cope when your partner is avoidant” and I understand why, and I’m sorry if you’ve been hurt by someone like me. But half the time I’m trying to find a resource that’ll help me stop beung avoidant and all I really find is people telling me I shouldn’t date until I’m “fixed.” Sentiments like these are not helpful by any means, and it really just reinforces the belief that I should be better off alone even though I crave closeness, which is kinda the whole deal with an avoidant attatchment style as it is.

It just feels like people are understanding about mental health issues until it becomes something they don’t understand. Or until it becomes something that’s socially unacceptable. People seem to understand the need to ask for reassurance, but the need to ask for space? Apparently that’s too far.

I’m not really sure what I’m trying to say here, but my main point is, when we’re looking at theories or therapy speak, I really think there needs to be more of an awareness that real people actually do struggle with these things. “X attatchment style” isn’t something we should be throwing around like an accusation and it shouldn’t be a death sentence for dating. I see this kind of thing a lot with personality disorders too and it fucking sucks, it really does.

Mental illness shouldn’t be supported only when it’s something “acceptable” though I hesitate to use that term because pretty much any symptom of any mental illness is treated in the same way. I’m just tired I guess, and I think we need to be more careful than we are when talking about these issues.

#attatchment theory #avoidant attachment #mental illness #actually ptsd #tw: mental illness #tw: abuse #therapy speak #relationships #small rant #what do you think?

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ksmasterlist · 2 years

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Soulmates Pt 2.

Summary:

When Bradley Bradshaw finds himself single and transferring from the base in Virginia to the base in San Diego California he expects it to be a pretty boring trip, and given he’s chosen to fly as if he were a civilian he plans to drink his way through the whole thing so maybe just maybe he can fast track fixing his broken heart. But what he doesn’t expect is to meet the girl of his dreams.

Addilyn finds herself in a much better place than she’d been the year previous. And despite her promise to herself that she wasn’t going to jump into a new relationship or move too fast as she’d had the tendency to do, decides to turn on the charm with the cute yet sad man at the airport bar.

With both feeling a comfort they hadn’t experienced with anyone else before things could get interesting.

Notes:

Hello all, so this is my first Top Gun fic so I hope whoever's reading this enjoys! Would love to hear your thoughts! This work of fiction is fairly indulgent.

I do not give permission for them or my work to be published or copied to any other source.

Warnings featured throughout the story: 18+ minors DNI. Smut. Fluff, angst, all around cuteness, lots of flirting/pining. Age difference Addilyn (Phoenix’s younger sister) is in her mid-20s and Bradley is in his 30s. Pregnancy, emotional triggers. Language. Mentions of infertility.

If you would like to join the tag list just let me know :)

Rooster was lying on the bench with Fanboy, his finger curled around the bench press bar; he had hoped to avoid this conversation. He wasn’t even really sure he knew what was going on. The idea of keeping everything as much between himself and Addilyn until he figured out what was going on, sounded best. He knew the topic couldn’t be avoided, at least not by his friends.

“So are you gonna tell us what happened? Or are we supposed to be taking guesses here?” Fanboy asked as he stood looking down at Rooster while he benched pressed.

“What'd you wanna know?”

“Well, for starters why did you and Cassie break up?” Fanboy asked as he watched.

“We weren’t compatible. I mean I want to get married and start a family, I want kids, and she didn’t. I had become complacent in the relationship thinking maybe it would all work out.” He said as he pushed the bar up one final time before placing it back in the holders.

“And what about that new girl? The one we took home from the airport? You two seemed close for having only just met.”

Bradley felt the smile on his face as he sat on the bench. It was crazy how Addilyn was mentioned and his heart sped up a little.

“There isn’t much to tell. I mean we met at the airport and since both of us were heading to California we just traveled together.”

Fanboy raised an eyebrow at Rooster shaking his head.

Rooster didn’t care though. He wasn’t sure how Addilyn was feeling about things. He didn’t even know if something was happening between them. Either way, he wanted to keep it between them. The second people aside from him and Addilyn knew about what was going on everything would change. He knew that no matter what they did people would always have their opinions. And frankly, he wanted to make sure he was on the same page as her before anyone else. Everyone else and their opinions be damned.

“Nothing happened-” Bradley shook his head and stood up. “-We talked at the airport. And then I asked you guys to take her home because I wanted to make sure she got home safe.”

“Why’d you stay at her house then man? What the hell was that about?”

“I may have told her I’d be staying in a hotel all weekend because my place wasn’t ready, and she offered to let me stay with her so I didn’t have to.”

Fanboy sighed as he took his place on the bench.

Bradley hoped that he’d played everything off okay. Though he had felt his neck getting a little warm and he was sure his cheeks were turning red too. Whatever was going on, Addilyn was making him feel things.

It is obvious that he felt something for Addilyn. It was strong, what he was feeling about her, especially given he’d only really known her for twenty-four hours. He knew that he really liked the way she called him lover boy.

Was it wrong that in the last twenty-four hours he’d felt more alive than since he was nineteen?

Feeling Addilyn’s hand against his own, feeling her fingers intertwined with his honestly had set his heart on fire. Smelling her sweet vanilla and coconut shampoo while she slept snuggled against him, the best a person could, on an airplane, had made him feel alive. Hearing her ask him in the most adorable sleepy voice ever if he’d stay over. Not because she wanted anything from him, simply because she wanted to take care of him had made him feel seen and loved.

Waking up that morning to the sound of the shower and her sweet voice pouring out of her bathroom as she sang some Taylor Swift song unaware that he was awake made him smile. Eventually, when he pulled himself out of her bed, walking into her kitchen and seeing her leaned against her counter with a coffee mug in her hand had honestly made it nearly impossible for him not to just wrap his arms around her and show her how he felt.

But he’d refrained as he didn’t want to overstep. He didn’t want to push himself on her or move faster than she was willing. He didn’t want to assume things. Just because she cuddled with him on a plane, or asked him to stay over so he wouldn’t have to stay in a hotel, didn’t mean she wanted anything from him.

Honestly, Bradley Bradshaw was confused, conflicted if you will. He knew he was feeling a lot of things about Addilyn. A lot of things he didn’t know he could feel about someone as quickly as he had. Honestly that both scared and excited him at the same time.

–

Addilyn rolled her eyes at her friends as she walked out of the fitting room. She felt ridiculous in the most recent dress that her best friend Della has insisted they try on. “I’m not wearing this in your wedding. It’s atrocious.”

Della leaned back on the couch and pursed her lips as she looked Addy over trying to decide what she thought.

“Presley, are you almost ready? I need to see both dresses. And I don’t think it’s that bad Addy.”

Presley walked out of her fitting room seconds later doing a cute turn so she could show off for Della.

“Della, it has puffy sleeves. You actually like this?” Addy said as she also did a spin in the dress per the request of Della.

Della groaned and ran her hands over her face. “No. Addy, I hate that dress. I kind of like Presley’s though…”

“You realize you’re getting married in two and half months right? We’re cutting it pretty close to the wire already. You know, most people have this part figured out by now.” Presley said resting her hands on her hips.

“I know, I’m just so indecisive. I swear Chris should’ve been the one who picked everything out. What do you guys think?”

Addilyn sighed. “I wouldn’t trust Chris on this matter. Presley, do you remember the prom incident? And I liked the one we tried before I left to see my sister. But please for my sanity pick a dress so we can cross this off our list.”

“Ooh. I liked that one too. And I think they still have them in the color you wanted. And yea no Della Christ would be a horrible person to pick anything out. He’d insisted on tagging along while we went dress shopping and he’d actually told Addy that she should wear a puke green colored dress because it complimented her skin tone. Apparently, I would look best in something that was a color I’ve never seen and never want to see again.” Presley added needing this to be over as well. Though if Della didn’t do something, there was bound to be a meltdown somewhere.

Della never understood how they’d been friends with Chris, her fiancé, for so long. But she was glad because without their weird friendship that has lasted them well past high school, she never would’ve even met Chris. Finally, she stood up from the couch and went to find someone to help them. Officially deciding that if everyone liked the dresses from before, and it came in the color she wanted then she was just going to suck it up and go with that.

While they waited for her to return Presley stepped back into the fitting room to get out of the dress. And Addy dozed off into her own thoughts.

Addilyn leaned against the wall thinking about Bradley. She liked the dynamic they had. She felt comfortable enough around him to let loose and feel confident in herself. Whatever thing they had started was moving at a comfortable pace for her at the moment. Nothing had happened aside from harmless flirting and she didn’t feel he was the type of guy to push past boundaries. All she needed was some to set boundaries, clarify that she didn’t want to be a rebound. If he was hoping for that then he’d have to look elsewhere.

It wasn’t like hearing him call her baby girl turned her on or anything. And she didn’t care how nice and warm his skin felt against her when she’d woken up, or how he’d looked so peaceful with his eyes closed and his pink lips parted ever so slightly the only sound coming from him was the soft snore that morning.

She also couldn’t help but find the fact that he was so caring towards her; he’d let her fall asleep on him on a plane, he’d carried her bags and reached back to grab her hand so she wouldn’t get lost in the sea of people once they exited the plane. The way he’d refused to let her get an uber home then all but forced her to get on his back so he could carry her to his friend’s car because he knew she was so tired she could barely keep her eyes open let alone walk, or even tell someone where she lived. Then he’d carried her to her bed, helped her take her shoes off, and just let her fall asleep.

Honestly, he’d taken better care of her in the short period she’d known him than all her previous relationships, and she knew she found all those things attractive. Shit, Bradley had been a better boyfriend to her in the last twenty-four hours than her ex-boyfriend Jason ever was, and Bradley wasn’t even her boyfriend. Thinking about it, she wanted him to be.

“Earth to Addy!”

Addilyn blinked as she came to reality realizing that she’d gotten quite lost in her thoughts. “Sorry, what?”

“I need you to try on this dress one more time. I wanna see you both in it.”

Addy felt the blush creeping up on her face and she sheepishly smiled at Della, as she took the dress to try it on one last time. Thankfully, that was in fact the last dress they tried on.

“I’m gonna head home guys. It’s been a long day and I’m still worn out from my flight home. But I’ll see you and Chris on Monday?” She asked, pointing to Della with a smile.

Della nodded with a frown. She had wanted to have a girls’ night. But being as her friend was tired she’d let it slide this time, since she was probably jetlagged. “Yep, Monday, and we’re meeting at the Kazansky’s house right?”

“Yep, I’m supposed to be going over there Sunday to help Sara set everything up. So I’ll see you on Monday.” Addy called over her shoulder as she climbed into her car to head home.

–

Bradley hadn’t expected to arrive back to Addilyn’s house before her, but he was thankful to have at least some time to himself to process his thoughts. He let himself into her house with the spare key she’d told him about and he made his way to her bathroom where he planned to take another shower, after he’d left the Hard Deck he’d hit up the gym, he couldn’t let himself get out of shape and he wouldn’t have wanted to lie in his own bed with how sweaty he was, let alone someone else's.

In her bathroom, awake enough to actually pay attention to things this time, he noticed her laundry hamper in the corner. Normally it wouldn’t be a big deal, people kept dirty laundry in the bathroom all the time, but hanging over the edge as if she’d thrown them and they hadn’t made it all the way into the hamper were her lacy light pink panties and matching bra, and the thought of her wearing them crossed his mind. He couldn’t help but think about what she’d left her house in that morning and what she might’ve had on underneath. Bradley was thankful to be in his gym shorts; and not a tighter pair of jeans at the moment.

The ringing from his phone brought Bradley back to reality from his dirty thoughts. He debated not picking it up, taking care of himself then hopping in the shower. He saw it was Addilyn, it was as if his member were taking over and all he wanted was to hear her voice which would make him harder.

“Bradley?” He heard her answer as he pulled his phone up to his ear, he’d answered but had said nothing yet.

Holy shit did her voice saying his name make his current situation worse. “Yea?” He’d swallowed back the groan he wanted to let out. Despite his current state he didn’t want to come on too strong. He had a gut feeling that Addilyn wasn’t looking to be a rebound. Not that he planned to use her like that. Though it might’ve looked like he was if she could see him now.

“Have you eaten yet? I’m on my way home now. I’m way too tired to make anything so I was going to pick up some takeout and wanted to know if you wanted anything?”

“That sounds amazing. And I’m not too picky so whatever you wanna get me is fine.”

“Okay well lover boy I’ll see you in a bit then.”

“Sounds good.” He barely got out before the call ended, he couldn’t hold himself together much longer after she called him lover boy. He didn’t think she knew what she was doing to him. It was still happening though.

He could finally pull himself into the shower and handle business feeling a million times better when he stepped out.

He’d slipped on some sweatpants then headed out of the bathroom towards her room not wanting to leave a mess in her bathroom, but he hadn’t known she’d made it home yet and walked right into the room to an unintentional show.

He’d walked in right as she was slipping her bra off and shimmying out of her shorts. Her back was to him so she hadn’t even noticed him in the doorway. He hadn’t meant to walk in on her changing or get the perfect view of her from behind. Her shimmying out of her shorts to reveal her cheeky lace underwear, this was an image that wasn’t leaving his mind soon.

“You know it’s rude to stare.”

Her voice pulled his mind from his dirty thoughts again and he noticed she’d moved to her closet, with no more clothes on than her underwear, but from where she was standing he couldn’t see anything. He locked eyes with her hoping not to give away that he’d gotten hard at seeing her basically naked, as she pulled a large gray shirt from her closet and slipped it over her head giving him a whole split second front view.

“Sorry, I uh I-”

Addy laughed as walked over and rested her hand on his chest, patting it twice.

“It’s okay, you didn’t know I was here. Anyway, there’s food in the kitchen when you get hungry.”

And just like that she walked away. Leaving Bradley with his second hard-on in the last hour.

—

“I know you’re probably busy right now but I really need your help Nat.”

She heard her sister sigh through the phone, and honestly she could picture her sister walking into her apartment right now taking her tight bun down and running her fingers through it frustratedly because Addy had gotten herself into some kind of mess.

“Is this about that guy you met at the airport?”

“Maybe.”

“Well, did something happen?”

Addy ran her fingers through her hair out of frustration. “No, not exactly, um, I definitely want something to happen, at least my body wants something to happen-” She sighed into the phone, her fingers rubbing her forehead.

“-because holy shit Nat this guy is hot. There’s like this primal part of me that just wants him right now consequences be damned. Then there's a totally rational part of me that knows that's insane because I just met him. And he just got out of a relationship so having sex, maybe even the best sex of my life, would likely only lead down a path of destruction. I haven’t had sex since before the hysterectomy. Though I haven’t really felt the desire even to have sex with anyone either. Which I’m sure is a factor here. So I am very torn.”

Natasha loved her sister, and currently she felt for her. She knew the last handful of years had been hard for Addy. First being the death of their father, then being diagnosed with Endometriosis. Then finding out a hysterectomy would be the best option meaning she wouldn’t be able to get pregnant. Then Jason dumped her because he didn’t want to be with someone who couldn’t give him a child that was ‘his’ flesh and blood. Natasha knew everything had just piled up in her sister’s life, and she knew the fact that Addy was even thinking about having sex with someone was a tremendous deal given before the hysterectomy she couldn’t have sex without it being uncomfortable and sometimes painful. But despite feeling happy that her sister, while conflicted, sounded the happiest she had since before their mom had died, Natasha didn’t want to see her sister jump into something without thinking and end up hurt.

“I don’t think you should sleep with him yet at least. I mean I’m so happy for you because you just sound happy. But I will also want what’s best for you, and I think that’s making sure you’re comfortable. I mean after everything that you’ve been through both with your diagnosis and Jason, take care of yourself. So just be honest with him. Maybe try to take things slow and see what happens.”

Addilyn sighed into the phone, she knew Natasha was right. As attracted to Bradley as she was, Addy knew she had to set some boundaries. And taking things slow was the best option.

—

Boundaries.

Addilyn had learned from her ex, the hard way, that boundaries were important. And given how uncomfortable sex used to make her both physically and emotionally she knew her sister was right. She needed to be honest with Bradley.

It’s a tough conversation to have, and Addy couldn’t remember ever being this nervous about setting them. Though her nerves could be boiled down to actually telling someone her story and the things she’d had to endure. It was one thing for her to talk to her sister about things. Or even Della and Presley. Telling a boy you liked all about how you were diagnosed with Endometriosis, you couldn’t have kids due to a hysterectomy, that was tough.

“What did you want to talk about?” Rooster asked, leaning back into his seat.

The more time Addilyn spent with him the more breathtakingly handsome she realized he was. Sometimes she couldn’t help but glance at his lips. She often felt his eyes were looking directly into her soul when he looked at her. She still wasn’t sure what he used to make himself smell so amazing, but Addilyn was pretty sure she could get high off how amazing he smelt.

“I feel like we should set some boundaries in um whatever this is.” She said motioning between the two of them before she reached for her own egg roll.

He sighed as he leaned forward and ran his hands over his face. He felt he should’ve seen this coming.

He’d never sat down and set boundaries with Cassie, honestly, they didn’t really talk a lot. The more he thought back to the relationship, he realized he and Cassie never should’ve gotten together.

They had broken up for a lot of different reasons, mostly they weren’t compatible, but they also didn’t want the same things out of life, things that Bradley felt people should talk about so they didn’t end up with the wrong person.

“I can’t say I disagree. Part of the reason Cassie and I broke up was because we didn’t talk about things. It wasn’t until we’d been together for a while that I came to my senses and realized that we didn’t want the same things. Getting married wasn’t really going to change anything about our relationship. She didn’t want kids, or to be a mother. And well, I want a family of my own. I can’t just stop wanting a family, but I also would not try to force that on her because she would’ve just ended up resenting me and probably the baby too. Starting a family that way wasn’t the way I wanted to go.”

Addilyn leaned forward and rested her chin in her palm as she listened to him talk. She knew her usual happier demeanor had changed, and her smile had faltered. It was due to how badly she could tell Bradley wanted a family. He’d ended his relationship after four years with her because she didn’t want the same things as him.

She would not let his words of a family of my own stop her from sharing what she needed to with him, it made her heart ache just a little at the thought that Bradley had similar thoughts to her ex boyfriend.

She tucked her hair behind her ear and did her best to smile at him. “Hopefully this doesn’t totally change how you see me.-”

Bradley raised an eyebrow curious to what she was going to tell him.

“-I also want a family I can call my own, but um I can’t get pregnant. That was part of the reason Jason and I broke up. That and having sex was very uncomfortable. There was very little I could do in the bedroom that wasn’t painful. I found out that I have Endometriosis a few years ago after going to a lot of different doctors because I was bleeding a lot more than I should. And it was uncomfortable to have sex. And the last doctor I went to determined that my best option was to do a total hysterectomy which took away my ability to get pregnant. Which left me with the option of adoption. I mean I could still have a baby with my DNA if I were to use a surrogate but I’m not sure it’s worth it. And well Jason didn’t like that. It wasn’t good enough to adopt a child. The child wouldn’t really be his child, it would be someone else’s that he’s raising. He wanted a child of his own flesh and blood. So we broke up because I couldn’t give that to him anymore.”

Bradley felt his cheeks heat, and honestly he was upset. Adoption was a beautiful thing, Bradley had never thought about adopting, but that wasn’t because of being against it as much as it was that he’d never really taken into consideration that he might end up with a woman who’s only option was adopting

Before he could register what was happening his hand had found its way across the table to rest on top of hers. “It doesn’t change the way I see you at all.” He whispered. “If anything, it makes me like you more.” He smiled at her.

Addilyn leaned back into her chair, her fingers playing with Bradley’s as she innocently smiled back at him. “Listen, Bradley. It’s clear that we both want similar things from life. Which is great for a relationship. However, you just got out of a four-year relationship. We haven’t known each other long at all. And I just want to make sure that we both know what we’re getting ourselves into. That means being open and honest with each other.”

He finally laced his fingers through hers and tugged her arm gently to pull her forward, then he took her chin in his hand to hold her face still as he leaned in as close as he could to rest his forehead against hers.

“I like you Addilyn, it may even be more than like. I’m not sure I know my exact feelings because whatever it is, is new to me. I’ve never felt this before. Not with Cassie, not with any of my past girlfriends even. So if you tell me that you just want to be friends, I’ll just be your friend until you’re ready for something more. But if you want to be more than friends, I’ll go along with that as well.”

Bradley pulled his forehead away just a tad before he tilted her chin up just a little so he could see her pretty face. He desperately craved to kiss her, crash his lips onto hers and show her somehow that he wanted to be with her, and that, that was the proper choice.

He knew he had to let her figure it out on her own, and he understood where she was coming from. Neither of those things however kept him from craving to hear her tell him she felt the same way he was feeling and kiss him.

“The balls in your court now baby girl.” He whispered letting his thumb graze over her cheek to wipe away the tears that had silently fallen.

Addy’s breath hitched slightly at the feel of his hand against her cheek.

“I want to take things slow.” She whispered hoping her heart didn’t beat out of her chest. “Not because I don’t feel something for you. I do. But well I haven’t been with anyone since the hysterectomy and I need to make sure I feel totally comfortable so that you also feel comfortable. And I’m not there yet. I also don’t want to be a rebound. Especially if we do plan to have sex in the future because sleeping with someone after everything I’ve been through isn’t a simple decision for me.”

“Slow it is then.”

Addilyn had never felt more seen in her entire life.

Hope you all enjoyed! <3

@eddiemunscns

@shrimping-for-all

@fangirlofallthings22

@luckyladycreator2

@mizzzpink

#bradley bradshaw fanfiction #bradley bradshaw x oc #top gun fanfiction #top gun maverick #top gun maverick story #soulmates #bradley rooster bradshaw #bradley rooster bradshaw x addilyn marie trace

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