#I feel like the only way we're getting an end to this is with those dragonets who could be dead for all we know | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

ao3commentoftheday · 22 hours

Note

How do you build confidence as a writer and start to feel okay with your own writing, as well as the stats your writing gets? I’m not a new writer, and I don’t think I’m a bad one, but I am really bad with capturing the fandom zeitgeist, and a lot of the times when I try to write characters based on how they acted in canon, I get accused of bashing them. I don’t care about rude or unflattering comments on my fics, but definitely fewer people kudos my fics when I try to write the characters how I see them instead of fanon characterization, and it sucks to know I don’t make fic recs lists or even get casually recced for anything I’ve ever written on Discord because of my writing choices. More and more often, I feel like I shouldn’t write because I know my fics will never get the praise and attention BNFs do, and then I feel guilty for not writing. But I also know that if I do, I’ll just end up with more fic readers won’t want, and let’s face it: it’s not like anyone will choose my fics when they could have a BNF’s. Is there any way for me to accept that no one will ever love my fic as much as they love fics by BNFs, and to stay motivated in spite of feeling like my writing is just permanently unwanted? Or would giving up at this point be kinder to myself if I can’t stop comparing? (I know frequent advice in these cases is to focus on building friendships and finding a community, but IME, people in fandom either aren’t interested, don’t reach out, or already have had their friends circle since the LJ days and don’t want to bother with you. Any advice on where I’d even begin?)

*hugs* Oof. That's a rough spot to be in, anon, and you're definitely not alone 💗

I think in this situation, you need to figure out what exactly it is that you're looking for. You start by asking how to get confidence as a writer, but I think you already have it. You know what stories you want to tell, and you write those stories the way you want to tell them. To me, that means that you have plenty of confidence. You have a clear vision and goal, and you write with them in mind.

Next, you mention stats but I don't think that's the issue either - except inasmuch as they can be a sign of other things. Stats on their own, however, are just numbers attached to your works. If seeing those numbers on your works and the works of others causes you distress or annoyance or another emotion you'd rather not experience, then I strongly recommend using a site skin to hide them.

The bulk of your message is about what it sounds like the issue really is: attention, praise, and yes community. You want people to get excited with about your works. You want people to talk to other people about the things that you write. You want to feel loved, or at least appreciated. You're not alone in wanting those things either.

I think the writing side of things is going well - at least from the information you've provided here. The part that isn't working for you is the posting. Putting your work up on AO3 is not only dissatisfying, it's actively discouraging you from writing more.

I'm going to make my own suggestion and then I'll leave the floor open for the blog to add in their thoughts: Have you considered role playing instead of fic writing? For the last several years, I've tucked my writing away in a discord server with my fandom bestie. We've written thousands of stories and millions of words, almost none of which have ever been posted to AO3. We don't feel the need for comments and kudos because we're both having so much fun collaborating with our blorbos and each other, writing things to make the other one happy (or sad or laugh etc), that what other people might think about it doesn't actually matter.

She also RPs in various servers with friends and strangers alike, but I haven't enjoyed that as much as just shooting replies back and forth with her. Your mileage may vary, as they say, but that might be one way to get the feedback and excitement that you're craving - whether it's in a big server with lots going on or just a little corner of 2 or 3 people.

What do the rest of you think?

#asks and answers

54 notes · View notes

autumnslance · 1 day

Text

In reference to this post I reblogged earlier, but don't want to muck up UC's activity:

#i think it's more important to see that redemption is in the eye of the beholder #not everybody (characters or real people) will accept the same type or amount of repentance for the same sins #some people might not care at all if the person who wronged them feels sorry; only if they materially repaid their crimes #others can feel the opposite #and either way that's their prerogative #you can disagree with the characters or the fans or the writers about who “deserves” OR has “achieved” redemption and that's okay #because it's ultimately a complex philosophical issue #like i agree with OP!!! but there's media literacy in accepting that not everyone will

I'm going to disagree with many of these tags, especially it being "in the eye of the beholder" and would argue it's more media literate to recognize when a character has a workable redemption arc even if one disagrees they "should" get one. It took me a long time to learn this cuz of how we're usually taught redemption = forgiveness in Western (especially very Christianized, and especially if explicitly raised Christian) culture:

It doesn't rely on anyone but the person seeking redemption.

Yeah, it's the wronged party's prerogative to never forgive, to think the perpetrator's atonement (and/or punishment) is not enough and never will be. Anyone (characters and actual people) who sympathize, and who are on their side, can agree it's not ever enough and that character/person's sins are unforgivable.

And that still doesn't matter to their redemption.

We have an example of a workable redemption arc that not all accept in Final Fantasy XIV with Fordola's situation, through the Endwalker healer role quests. She was raised a collaborator of Ala Mhigo's imperial occupiers, and thought the best way to help her people was to soldier for the empire, becoming their Butcher.

In the Stormblood patches, Raganfrid says he will never forgive her; he thanks her for the aid she gave in the throne room that day, but that's all. And even in the EW healer role quests, their interactions are complicated. He still can't forgive the collaborators, even as he works to reintegrate them into Ala Mhigan society. He recognizes many thought they had no choice. He can't, won't, forget the pain of losing his own loved ones to them. This is stated multiple times.

And others, like M'rahz, Sarisha, and M'naago also struggle, also say they won't forgive...but reluctantly agree they can understand how for the sake of their families, the collaborators felt pushed against a wall, and what lengths have they themselves gone to for their own families? M'naago even scolds Fordola: she doesn't get to give up, she has to keep working--or she dies as exactly what everyone said she was.

Fordola starts out as the one punished for her sins. Through the story, she makes her choices to change and fight and work for her people as a free woman. There are still those who despise the Butcher, and always will. Redemption comes from Fordola's actions, Fordola's choices. Who forgives her and who doesn't can't change that she has changed, and continues to do so.

And in the interest of fairness, for the opposite of Fordola, we have Laurentius. In A Realm Reborn, he collaborated with the empire, selling out his nation. He came out of his punishment wanting a new chance, so joined the Crystal Braves...and immediately fell under Ilberd's sway. While others remained loyal and stuck to their morals (and paid for it with imprisonment or even death), Laurentius went along with all of Ilberd's plans. And in the end, the player gets an opinion in the punishment he and his comrade face, but it's clear from talking to Raubahn there isn't much hope. Laurentius had his chances, but he didn't make any effort to actually change--so faced the consequences.

For Reference for the Healer Role Quests: Garland Tools Healer quest text starting with "Far From Free", and my own saved text in Gdocs (raw, not very organized compared to my later saved/updated docs).

(Nero's the war criminal who...didn't even get a slap on the wrist, he just waltzed into a leadership meeting 15 mins late with Starbucks and has been helping us save the world since. Gaius is the war criminal that went through traumas, saw his privileged preconceptions torn apart, and is starting down that road in the wake of Werlyt to clean up his mistakes and not let his children's sacrifices be in vain. None of these characters "need" punishment to decide to change; some of it simply happens as part of their stories, but they make their own choices and actions toward atonement.)

(Also redemption is usually an ongoing process, which is why "Death Equals Redemption", like how Yotusyu's situation is framed, is so dicey and often unsatisfying; are they actually changed, or they just getting out of putting in that effort to? Nothing indicated Yotsuyu actually cared to change, as sympathetic as she was in the end! But she has her redemptive moment for her fans, and the people who hate/won't forgive her also "win"--the trope is a "have your cake and eat it too" writing cop-out IMO at this point.)

#final fantasy xiv #endwalker #stormblood #role quests #redemption #character arcs #fordola rem lupis #raganfrid bleaker #laurentius daye #yotsuyu ge brutus #I also blame everyone touting Zuko from Avatar the Last Airbender as a 'good redemption arc'#when from the start he's a protagonist on the wrong side making bad choices & failing at them cuz he's not as evil as Zhao & Azula & Ozai #he's an antagonist to Team Avatar for much of it yes but he's also in a dual position as we follow his exploits as much as the Gaang #Zuko makes mistakes he has to apologize & make up for but as mixed up as that kid was he never actually hit murderous war criminal #heck his story starts cuz he was trying to protect soldiers from being needlessly sacrificed by actual warmongers #so Zuko the kids show character is Palatable & easy to forgive cuz he's always been sympathetic & Trying to do right but failing at it #but anyone 'worse' than traumatized teen navigating dangerous & toxic situations trying to do what's right w/out knowing what that is - SOL #cuz so many people have never expanded thinking about morality beyond that kids show

32 notes · View notes

judesmoonbeauty · 1 day

Text

Alfons Sylvatica Chapter 4 Semi-Summary

This is a fan translation only. Not 100% accurate. Please expect grammatical errors and translation inaccuracies. This is a SEMI-SUMMARY of each chapter. I am roughly translating this with out much research other than specific lines from certain scenes. Why? Because it's a huge task to translate a main route chapter line by line. So, this is what we're working with, and I appreciate your understanding ♥︎ Cybird owns everything. Re-blogs are appreciated, but please do not post my summaries elsewhere. Minors: Please DNI or consume this content. CW: Dub-Con. Dividers: @/natimiles

Alfons greets Kate in a back alley saying that it’s been a while since they’ve seen each other, and asks how she’s been. It’s been a few days since she’s seen him, and he has an indifferent look on his face that makes her feel disgusted. She tells him that it’s been a peaceful few days since he hasn’t been around to mess with her. He laughs and says that’s boring, but promises that tonight will be exciting. Kate raises her voice asking Alfons how he takes that as her saying she needs excitement, which causes Ellis to shush her gently, and Alfons joins in with Ellis in agreement as if he wasn’t the one instigating her. Quieting her mind and reminding herself that she is the Fairytale Keeper, she refocuses on their mission.

She, Ellis and Alfons were on a stake out about a sort of street crime. They hunker down in the alley in a single file line, with Ellis being in the front and Alfons behind her. It’s so dark, they can’t help but to as close to each other as possible in order to see the other person. The scent of various perfurmes from Alfons waft into Kate’s nostrils and make her restless, and she reminds herself to concentrate. Looking ahead the dimly lit street is filled with several people - small children emaciated men, most of them with out homes, sleeping or just walking around - and it hurts Kate to see these people suffering in the shadows while England boasts it’s age of prosperity.

She recognizes that though the country has enough wealth to share, life is not equal.

The disgust she felt when she saw the pile of black corpses from previous chapters rise within her, and a feeling of neither sadness or bitterness filled her heart. This is when she realizes that since that initial incident, she had been so preoccupied with Alfons, that she didn’t properly have time to think about it, even though her heart is lighter feeling because of it. She decides that her heart must’ve drifted towards the easier way out.

Alfons: Kate.

Kate: …!?

Alfons calls her name from behind her and she recalls their feverish night. He had called her name many times that name when she was under the suggestion of being his lover.

Alfons: Haha, that’s a cute response.

Kate: I’ve got a lot to think about…..please don’t interrupt me.

Alfons: That’s why I interrupted you. So that you would think of me.

Kate:…..?

Alfons: There are a lot of things in this world that you can’t control, even if you face them squarely.

Alfons: Don’t you think it’s ridiculous to take single one of those things seriously, and get hurt?

Kate recalls that she’s been told something similar before.

FLASHBACK TO DINING ROOM BREAKFAST SCENE

Alfons: Well, you don’t need to know about such troublesome things.

Alfons: It doesn’t matter.

Alfons: Miss Kate, are you sure? You want to hide this.

FLASH BACK TO KITCHEN SCENE

Alfons: It’s better to be occupied with what feels good and pleasurable.

Alfons: Keep up the good work and keep your mind occupied on me.

FLASH BACK ENDS

(Only when I’m down in the dumps, worrying about this and that, does he start messing around me with me.)

Kate’s thoughts stop at this like she’s stumbled over a stone.

(Huh...but, I wonder why he keeps messing with me at the same time….?)

Ellis interrupts her thoughts by calling them both with a raised voice, ignoring the dispute behind him. Kate turns her face away from Alfons and back to the street. The screen jolts as someone says, “April Fools”, and the voice is accompanied by something spilling out onto the street. Several men in black cloaks are on the street who start to attack the slum dwellers, and a bizarre chase begins. It’s almost like they are hunting, swinging their weapons at the unarmed people. Kate is frozen as she describes it as something from literal hell.

Alfons: Hmm, it’s all rather frenzied.

Alfons: This is more of a massacre than a street riot.

Kate: How can you stay so calm?

Alfons: It’s a common sight on missions.

Ellis: Al & I will take them all into custody, you stay here Kate.

Ellis soon leaves them and Kate’s body begins to shake when she thinks about being left alone, even though she knows she should be. She tries to tell herself that she won’t be able to record their sins if she can’t look at them properly.

Alfons: Ahhhh, you poor thing.

Alfons’ hand touches the nape of her neck and tells her that what she is seeing is a play, and his voice flows through her mind like an eroding stream.

Alfons: That bright red thing is bloodstain.

Alfons: Tonight, it’s me and Ellis, and we’ve come to see a play.

Alfons: You will enjoy the breathless action in this seat….until we return.

Kate was in the theater when she was stuck with a floating sensation.

(I’ve never seen such an amazing performance…..)

The bloodbath that continued to unfold before her eyes was captivating. The blood spatter, the flying pieces of flesh, and even their expressions of anguish on the verge of death - they’re all very unlike a play. Alfons approaches and says that he’s off while she’s still mesmerized by the stage, and Kate tells him to go ahead. But going where? She came to see the play with him, didn’t she? When they look each other in the eyes, he tells her to kiss him and give him a lover’s pep talk.

(That’s right……Alfons and I are lovers.)

Kate: Yes, of course.

She offers a kiss on the lips with a smile as if she were seeing her lover off.

Kate: Mmmm…..

After their lips touch each other, he removes his hand from her nape. The stage floor was so soaked with blood that it was unrecognizable. When she sees that Alfons is going onto the stage too, she thinks it’s great at first, and then she notices Ellis on stage touching the heads of the targets and binding them. That’s when she sees that just a word from Alfons could cause a flurry of people to fall down as well.

Kate: And yet…..

Kate: It’s a very, very realistic play.

Even though she knew it was all an act the shrieks of the people made her heart shrink back, with fear and anxiety, her heart was beating very fast. When a knife almost grazed Alfons, she felt a chill crawl down her spine, even though it happened on a stage.

(I like to watch plays….)

(This one time……l hope it’s over soon.)

(I’m so scared….I don’t even want to look at it.)

(…..I’ve never thought this about a play before.)

(But why did I have to go to a play with you two tonight….?)

A sudden feeling of discomfort washes over her, and she squeezes at her heart over her clothes.

Alfons: Kate.

Kate: !

The boys come back to her and Alfons asks her, “How was our play?” Ellis is surprised and then says, “Oh, I see,” and plays along and asks her the same question. She says it was amazing, but she tells them that her heart felt crushed by anxiety. She couldn’t help but hug Alfons tightly to make sure her boyfriend was safe, which surprises his dumbass for some reason. Kate feels relieved, once she feels his heart beat and as she was about to let go of Alfons, he puts his arm around her.

Alfons: I apologize for any concern this may have caused you.

Alfons: …..I’ll stay by your side tonight, until you feel safe.

Premium Story:

After the blood soaked play, Alfons escorts Kate back to her room, but on the way back she’s struck with a strange sensation. She remembers passing through a street she’s unfamiliar with and she can’t figure out why she went to see a play with Ellis and Alfons. Back in the room, she finally breaks down and then asks Alfons, if what she watched was really a play or not. As soon as she asks, a thought popped into her head about the blood not being fake like stage play blood.

Alfons: Have you awakened already?

Alfons: You have a surprisingly stronger ego than I expected.

Kate: It was real.

When she realizes that not only she peacefully watched people die, but also almost Alfons being harmed, she was so shocked that she was speechless. She recalls the uncomfortable thoughts she had as she watched the play and the things she heard. Closing her eyes and covering her ears, Alfons embraces her warmly as if scooping her out of the cold darkness.

Alfons: It’s not your fault. It’s my fault isn’t it?

Kate: But I didn’t think anything of it.

Alfons: No ordinary person could imagine such a scene unless it was fiction.

Alfons: Likewise, I thought it would be entertaining to make it fiction.

Kate: …..

Kate remembers that she thought it was like play, and that she even applauded even though someone had died right in front of her. His voice filled with pity when he spoke to her.

Alfons: You really, really want to look at reality to the point of stupidity.

Kate: Because….If I don’t look….

Alfons: Is it because of your role as fairytale keeper?

Alfons: Isn’t it crappy to get a job because you were involved in an accident?

Kate thinks about how her life hangs in the balance if she doesn’t work properly, but she asks Alfons…

Kate: That’s not all,…. If you don’t look at reality properly, you won’t realize what’s important, will you?

Alfons: Such as?

Kate: Like, why are all those terrible things happening….

Alfons: You wouldn’t know that by observing a crime scene.

Kate: Is there anyone still breathing….who can be helped….!

Alfons: Haha, you’re going to save someone in that situation? You’ll just die as collateral damage.

Kate: But…..if you or Ellis had been stabbed…..I

Kate: Thinking of that as a play……I could’ve been there to help!

Alfons: ……

Kate: Isn’t that kind of scary….?

A rush of emotion begins to blur Kate’s vision not knowing if it was because of the fear of the scene or because she was alone protected by an illusion. Alfons gently strokes her hair just as a true lover would do.

Alfons: You’re too soft and vulnerable and yet….to try to face reality instead of running away…

Alfons: ….You’re an idiot, my dear.

Alfons: When I see someone that stupid, I can’t help but want to coddle them.

He touches her nape and tells her to come play with him for the night, calling her his little sweetheart. A pleasant sensation fills her body and her thoughts are drowned out by his voice as he tells her that he’s fine, alive and well. He tells her not to look so greedy, because he isn’t going to let things end with a child’s kiss and for her to open her mouth. He pokes her lips with his fingertips as he whispers.

Alfons: Don’t be shy…

Kate: Mmmm….ahhh….

She opens her mouth and his wet tongue slips inside.

Kate: Mm…..ah…..nnn….

Alfons: I like the way you kiss.

They deeply entwine their tongues and melt into the sense of debauchery. All the while Kate feels like she’s forgotten something important, but before she knew it, they were sinking into her bed. All she could think about was her lover in front of her.

Kate: Al…fons…I- my body is hot.

Alfons: …..Body, where?

Kate: ….You know what I’m talking about, don’t ask.

Alfons: I don’t like that….

Alfons: Where do you want to be made to feel good, tell me with that pretty mouth?

Kate: Ah……

Her ribbon at the back was loosened spilling her bare skin, as she hides herself from Alfons. He asks why she’s hiding from him and to let him see. He asks again where she wants to be abused, and she says everywhere all embarrassed like. He kisses her cheek, calls her a greedy one, and then brings his mouth to her breast to suck her nipple which makes her flinch and moan. As his tongue kept teasing that part, her body lit up inside. His fingers slowly trace along the inside of her thighs, until they shift under her underwear and stroke her muddied spot several times until he slowly enters her. He pumps his finger inside her sweetly as she tightens up around him. He tells her to loosen up because he was going to make her feel good, to which he starts thrusting his fingers intensely. His finger stroke her insides making her go wild. He laughs and asks if his fingers aren’t enough for her? Embarrassed at her own naughtiness, all she can do is nod her head yes.

He laughs and asks if she’s sure since he doesn’t mind making her cum with his fingers. She’s basically begging at this point without saying anything, and so he removes his fingers from her, removes his clothes and then says to her, “Let’s get so messy, we’ll forget everything.”

He sinks more deeply into her than his fingers did, and she moans as she clings to his back as he thrusts into her. And all she can think of is drowning in his love because the arms that hold her are so gentle, and because the pitying, compassionate look in his eyes is somehow comforting to her.

[Next] [Master List]

#alfons sylvatica #ikevil alfons #ikevil translations #ikemen villains #Ikémen villains translations #IkeVil JP spoilers

39 notes · View notes

ecruvianfancontent · 23 hours

Text

How would Ford get kicked out instead of Stan?

So, a bit ago, @ckret2 posted an essay expressing frustration about the fandom portrayal of Filbrick. Filbrick is often characterized as violently and irredeemably abusive, whereas ckret2 cites some very convincing evidence that he was a well-meaning but authoritarian father - not a good dad, but not an evil person.

This discussion was prompted because ckret2 was considering an AU in which Ford never goes to college and ckret2 prefers the smallest possible change in AUs.

I wanted to link those posts because they have absolutely gotten me thinking about the subject. The following will make more sense if you've read that essay and this follow-up about Filbrick's regret over Stan's behavior. I accept the contents as canon for the purposes of this post.

(For completion's sake, the entire discussion was prompted by a Ford as a Trucker AU, but the following doesn't actually have anything to do with that.)

Let's make Ford the kind of person Filbrick would kick out of the house

Stan's eviction is the end result of many, many years of contention between Stan and Filbrick - an earnest last-ditch effort by a desperate father to get his delinquent son to shape up, and a decision he only made because he thought Stan was legitimately malicious. Most AUs in which Ford is kicked out instead of Stan will just rewrite the Science Fair scene so that Stan has more to lose than Ford. If we're talking "smallest possible change," though, I don't find that convincing. If Filbrick was an unpredictable maniac who's ready to ditch his kids at a moments notice? Yeah, fine, any small mistake by either one of them would work. But if Filbrick has been earnestly trying to be a good father, and just didn't feel like he was getting through? One mistake, even a big one, from his less troublesome son would be unlikely to prompt a disowning.

So, my question is: what "single small change" early in life would lead Stan and Ford to develop in a way that flipped Filbrick's expectations of them?

Personality traits and how they affect the relationships

Let's talk about Filbrick, Stanley, and Ford.

So, first of all: Filbrick wants is sons to be industrious, tough, honest, and hard-working. Those are the qualities that matter to him. He makes them box so that they'll be able to stand up for themselves and others. He fights with Stanley because Stanley is a thieving scam artist. He demands the kids be profitable and successful because that is a mark of success as an adult for him. If we assume that the twins were an unplanned pregnancy, then he also firmly believes in taking responsibility for your mistakes -- in owning up.

Stanley is a born liar. Like, even his playful and friendly interactions with his family involved good-natured lies. (He reminds me of one of my uncles, who was an avid prankster up until the time he went up against me, but that's a whole story that I won't get into here.) I think in order to be on Filbrick's good side, he'd have to prove that he was honest in his own way - for example, by defending people when it really mattered even at the expense of his own reputation, or by refusing to take advantage of someone who has wronged him. I don't think canon Stan would do either of those things for anyone except family, but canon Stan is also convinced that nothing he does will ever be good enough. His last, dying words were "I guess I was good for something." He never until that moment thought he was. We need to make sure that he earns some self-respect earlier in life.

Now we need to find a flaw in Ford to exacerbate to the scale Stan had in canon. This isn't really hard, honestly. Ford may have been the less troublesome kid in high school, but he is ruthlessly ambitious, and as an adult he will steal or destroy anything to get the results he wants. I think that the reason he was the less troublesome kid is because there really isn't a good way that a high schooler can be ambitious at the expense of the people around them on a scale that matters. The stakes are just too low. Maybe Ford put down his classmates to secure a win in a spelling bee or stole an answer key once or twice, but it's hard to imagine Filbrick caring about schoolkid drama. That said, if Ford did have an aspiration - a science project, for instance - that he became truly obsessed with, it's easy to imagine him stealing or breaking things to achieve it.

So, how would we make stealing and destroying things a pattern of behavior for Ford, instead of a single one-off mistake? And how would we make Stanley's good-heartedness and self-sacrificing nature something that is visible to his father and overwhelms his tendency to lie?

Oh, and one more thing:

The big fight didn't just happen because Ford lost something he wanted. The entire Tale of Two Stans is about two twins who are very close to each other when they're young drifting apart over time as their needs, ambitions, and hobbies begin to diverge.

How do we make this separation happen in a way that flips the script?

Ford as a more isolated kid

Ford has a one-track mind.

In order to make this alternate canon work, I want to isolate Stan and Ford from each other very quickly. Filbrick might not be violently abusive, but he does ignore the kids, and Ford is already isolated from his peers due to bullying and poor social skills. If Stan isn't spending all of his time with Ford, then Ford might become more and more withdrawn. I don't think he would even be unhappy! Maybe a little lonely, but he's a bright kid with varied interests, and he'd keep himself occupied. But he might get a little... unhinged.

My Ford sans Stan is a kid that gets into trouble. A lot of trouble. Way more trouble than parents should have to deal with.

He gets arrested for disassembling abandoned cars. He gets detention for melting things in the chemistry lab. He gets stitches and tetanus shots after climbing under bridges, or ends up in the burn ward because he stuck a fork in an outlet. (I knew multiple academically gifted children who did this, what is wrong with you guys.) He might make a weapon like a nail gun because he thinks it's cool, and while that wouldn't cause as many alarm bells in 1980 as in 2020, it gould get someone seriously hurt. And, moreover, no matter how many times he's yelled at or bailed out or suspended or has his privileges revoked, he just doesn't get it. He'll express genuine remorse every time, but Filbrick will stop believing him after a while because he never changes. He never changes because... well. Because he is incorrect about what's wrong.

This version of Ford is isolated from his peers and doesn't have his brother to entertain him, so he's extremely self-centered. He doesn't think about the consequences of his actions and he doesn't think about how they might affect others. Let's say he snuck into the chemistry lab after hours, did an experiment without adult supervision, and ended up catching a shelf on fire. When he is punished, he's contrite and apologetic. He earnest in his expression of grief. He feels horrible. You'll tell him what he did wrong, and he will say, "I know," and accept his punishment without complaint. But, if you were to actually ask him what he did wrong, the answer will be:

"I used the wrong solvent." Or, at best: "I wasn't careful enough."

Nothing about disrespect for property. Nothing about breaking the rules. Nothing that reflects the fact that he is a child using someone else's resources to try a dangerous experiment without permission or supervision.

I don't think the adults around him, least of all Filbrick, would notice the communication error. Filbrick isn't in the habit of asking young boys about their feelings. Even if they did notice it, I don't think they would handle it well; this is before modern mental health science, and it might actively frighten the adults around him to realize that he doesn't understand morality in the way the kids around him do.

I think that if we start with this version of Ford, it would be very, very easy for him to screw up so badly that Filbrick felt the need to kick him out.

Some ways we can reduce Stan's influence

Option One: Stan might actually be worse off.

Usually, these reverse AUs are about Stan being the golden child and Ford being the one who Filbrick has it out for. However, that doesn't necessarily have to happen in order for Ford to be the one who gets kicked out. If Stan gets caught (or framed) for a crime big enough to send him to juvie for a while, or for Filbrick to send him off to a reform school, Ford would be left alone for years - long enough for Ford to develop the habits I just described.

This AU would fit really well with the themes of canon, too. The show is about how, even though family has its ups and downs, we're better together than we are apart. If Stan is separated from Ford against his will, and the rest of the Pines live to regret it, we address that theme head-on.

In an AU where Stan goes to boarding school, juvie, or something like that, I personally think Stan would still love Ford dearly and do his best to support him. Ford would do his best to make his own way in the world after his falling out with his father, and Stan meets up with him whenever he can. They have their own lives but remain friends.

Option Two: The ever-so-beloved Sports Stan option! If Stan ends up in a successful hobby, it might keep him out of trouble enough to curb his more dishonest tendencies. If that's the case, Ford's isolation comes from Stan having more friends (teammates!), more extracurricular responsibilities, and possibly the kind of social life that keeps him busy during school hours. I figure that in this version, Stan might stand up for Ford getting bullied, and he would be listened to, because you don't fuck with the football team. That would leave Ford with neither friends nor enemies. Ford might hang out with the sports kids for a while, but it would be really awkward, since he's just Stan's brother and doesn't have much in common with these guys.

This version leaves Stan slightly less delinquent but otherwise the same as his canon counterpart. Sports keep him out of trouble, might get him a scholarship, but otherwise leave him pretty much intact.

My problem with both of these two options is that I feel like, for maximum effect, we need to isolate Ford in middle school or earlier - I think fifth grade would do it. Sports don't really get that serious until late middle school or high school, and it's hard for a ten-year-old to get in enough trouble to get sent away.

The sooner the twins begin to separate, the better for this narrative.

Option three: Boy Scouts (or something). In this version, Stanley doesn't just have a hobby he likes - he has a hobby that becomes a lifestyle. He joins a club or meets a mentor that has a profound impact on him as a person. This, I think, would be the biggest possible impact with the smallest possible change.

I'm going to use Boy Scouts as my example, even though I can't really imagine Stan joining a troop without Ford. Just know that this is a placeholder, and it could be anything: he might find a car repair shop with a kindly and avuncular war veteran mechanic, he might fall in with a volunteer group, et cetera. If we go with the boy scouts, though, here's what happens:

Stan is bored and frustrated and has too much energy as a prepubescent or barely pubescent kid. He ends up hanging out with some boy scouts, and they do things that he thinks are really cool. They're the first kids he meets who like boats as much as him, and they know all the rigging knots. Maybe one of them tells him all about how to take care of lizards, and that other kid knows how to light a fire using a flint.

He convinces his parents to let him join the troop. At first, he doesn't fit in at all. All of the other kids have been doing this since first grade, and he's bad at making friends. However, one of the troopmasters becomes a mentor to him: this man intentionally gives him attention, spends time with him, asks him about his interests, teaches him skills that he's missing, et cetera.

If you've ever been or known a young kid who didn't get enough attention and then, suddenly, met someone who made them feel included, you know what happens.

Stan would sell his soul for this guy.

Stan memorizes his handbook, he attends all the functions, he mentors the cubs, the whole shebang. I think Stan would have a blast, too. Boyscouts make up bullshit to tell the little kids constantly. They play pranks on each other and the troopmasters. They haze the new kids. The develop complex internal mythologies for their troops. They get up to all manner of ridiculous shenanigans, oftentimes with the help of knives, ropes and fire. Stan would love it.

By high school, he's working hard toward his Eagle Scout badge, and that means he isn't just attending troop functions. For those who have never been scouts, the whole program is supposed to be about leadership training. The Eagle Scout status is one you earn by doing a project of your own - usually some small but tangible improvement to your hometown, such as building some benches or making an improvement to a museum. So, in the Sports Stan version of events, Stan is busy because of regularly scheduled team sports; in the Scouts Stan version, he's spending a huge chunk of his own free time planning, fundraising for, and building his project.

But there's another thing at play here.

Boy Scouts have a strict code of honor. If Stan was a gung-ho boy scout, he would probably become exactly the kind of person Filbrick wants him to be.

And, well,

I think he'd also become judgemental as hell.

Yeah, he still loves his brother, but here Stan is living his best life and being a good citizen who contributes to society, while Ford's out there... drawing pictures of ghost he insists he saw? Reading about mermaids? Catching the chemistry lab on fire?

Like, seriously bro, you need to get a real hobby.

You know how by the end of high school, Ford was treating Stan as an immature and ignorant kid with no real aspirations who wasn't going to amount to anything in life? You know how Ford was so sickened by Stan's relative lack of ambition that he really believed that Stan would deliberately sabotage his science fair experiment just for a chance to hang out more?

Yeah.

Now imagine that reversed.

#I need to proofread this #Gravity Falls AU #Meta Analysis #Gravity falls #Stanley Pines #Filbrick Pines #Stanford Pines #Fan essay #AU discussion #Boy Scout Stanley Pines #My post

20 notes · View notes

zerodaryls · 7 months

Text

it's so funny (read: sad) that if bigoted fuckheads didn't insist i was a woman simply by virtue of my body at birth, i'd probably be chill with she/her pronouns in addition to he/they. if my mom didn't insist i was her daughter, i'd probably let her call me that, and we could still have a relationship.

i'm nonbinary and 'gendered' words are hypothetically meaningless, but because there are so many people who are more interested in telling me who i am rather than lovingly and curiously letting me express my own sense of self, those words carry trauma.

there's no reason a nonbinary person like myself can't be a son and a child and a daughter. there's no reason a nonbinary person like me can't go by he, they, and she.

'she' is not a slur. 'daughter' is not derogatory. 'beautiful' 'pretty' 'gorgeous' 'feminine' are not insults.

to the contrary, they're parts of language that express certain facets of a multi-faceted human existence, like mine.

and i have this sad, mournful feeling that if it weren't for unloving, condescending people, i'd probably be down to be called any of those things alongside my usual masculine/neutral terminology.

but i'd rather die than let anyone tell me what i have to be called.

#i try to reclaim 'feminine' words for myself in private #calling myself 'babygirl' when i need to chill out. or saying i feel pretty. or going 'she needs help' when i'm struggling lmao.#but there's still so much fucking trauma in those words from the people who've forced them on me #who've snarled in my face that GOD made me ONE THING and ONE THING ONLY and that's a WOMAN (stepdad)#who've guilted me for taking their precious perfect daughter away as if i'm fucking dead (mother)#who've mocked me and everyone like me as if we're not the experts on our own sense of self (general transphobic public)#like. i'm not a fucking man. i'm not a fucking woman. i'm nonbinary. gender is absurdity as a concept. i'm done with it.#but being called a man or a son or a guy or 'he' or WHATEVER in that vein is fine and dandy because i've never had anyone say #'that is all you can EVER be'. or worse: 'that is what GOD made you to be and you have a ROLE to fill'#(christianity pls die approximately yesterday thanku 💖)#so yeah. idk. ranting yet again about Cis Audacity.#the complete lack of empathy. the lack of curiosity even.#the condescending bullshit. the 'i understand you better than you do'. the fucking AUDACITY.#i am the expert on myself. i am the ONLY expert on myself. period. no contest. not a debate.#i understand myself better than anyone else is CAPABLE of understanding me.#i could call myself 'she' and understand that i meant it in a nonbinary way.#in fact i could even see myself letting other trans people call me feminine terms at some point in the future. when i've healed more.#but cis people? probably not. they can call me 'he' or 'they' or they can fuck off & never get to know me because they don't wanna know ME #/end rant #any terfs/bigots that try to touch this post will be swiftly blocked and quite possibly cursed. have the day you deserve <3

53 notes · View notes

7-planks-of-rosewood · 5 months

Note

I heard someone saying Princess Blaze is going to survive the war. What idiotic thinking!! Queen Blister will defeat her sisters and the great Nightwing prophecy will be fulfilled.

When was the last time this dragon won a shred of land

When you side with the seawings (reclusive) and the nightwings (reclusive) I don't think you're getting much progress

#also like #Despite whatever the hell Scarlet is doing after what happened like a week ago #Burn is still going strong #we also dont know much about what Blaze is doing within the icewing territories #she could be eating glazed pigs for all we know #while the other two fight to the death #AND GUESS WHAT #THEY WON LAND #I feel like the only way we're getting an end to this is with those dragonets who could be dead for all we know #no one has properly seen them since the arena #though there were some sightings within the mudwing territories #unreality #wings of fire #wof #wingsoffire #asks

20 notes · View notes

dmclemblems · 2 years

Text

“our fine leaders” look i love me a good dimitri and lorenz friendship and hearing him call dimitri a fine leader is a high honor from lorenz i am blessed by this

#Three Hopes #Three Hopes Spoilers #Lorenz #Dimitri #one of my big azure moon headcanons is that when the war ends dimitri appoints lorenz as being in charge of #all the old alliance lands bc dimitri can't be everywhere at once so he needs other people to take care of those places #he wants to help with change but he can only make a big difference more immediately in his own area #so the areas surrounding fhirdiad would get the best results fastest but nowhere else would see quick change #but if he has leaders in leicester and adrestia who know the place and people very well he can stay in contact with them #and make sure what he wants to do for the people and nobility will reach those areas just as quickly #so he has lorenz in charge of the former leicester territories and ferdinand in charge of the former adrestia territories #bc all three of them prioritize the wellbeing of the people over everything and i think he'd trust them the most to keep things in line #lorenz and ferdinand have very particular ideals for the nobility but they're more or less the same things dimitri feels #they all want the best for their people first and foremost and have solid goals to keep their people safe and happy #like for lorenz it's not a matter of just ''you're a commoner so we're above you''#it's that he thinks yeah they deserve respect for what they do since they do all the heavy lifting for governing #and that's the stuff that's supposed to help with laws that keeps everything civilized #but he also would stop at NOTHING to keep the people of his lands alive and healthy #to him it's his duty to ensure those things for his people and he believes it's a noble's purpose basically to provide for commoners #dimitri thinks of it in a less nobility versus commoners specific way but he wants the same things and i think #he would trust lorenz more than probably anyone else when it came to the safety of the common folk #like he would trust yuri with that but he also understands yuri can sometimes be involved in shady things #but lorenz doesn't have a shady bone in his body and any distrust he feels for anyone he's up front about #and when he's wrong abt something he'll admit it and apologize and not many of the nobility behave like that #im super sad that they didn't get supports in either game bc they would have an amazing friendship imo #and between the two of them would be able to really bring about a new era for fodlan that really made it a great place #not to say I think ferdinand would help less just that this post is more abt lorenz and dimi specifically #they're my golden leaders trio and im so heartbroken that ferdinand can't join dimi in this game bc they're all #such good leaders and rulers and i want them to be close friends who always contact each other for politics and change

20 notes · View notes

thedarklyblue · 1 year

Text

hiii i want to quit my job <3

#.txt #stressed.#i dont like lights and sound. i dont think that way. cannot tell the different lights apart and programming confuses me #also the catwalks in the theatre we used last sem were good and stable and not too high up so hanging lights was fine #like they're heavy as shit and i am: weak. scared of falling. not very tall.#so leaning out to focus them sucked #but it's fine!#except we're in the other theatre now. and the catwalks are fuckinf high and wobbly and i hate WALKING on them let alone carrying a light #and everything got hung for the current show but strike and on i really dont feel comfy up there #but whay the fuck else can i do #also i'm working one show that's moving into tech. and co-SMing two others this sem. and taking a full load of classes.#and originally i was only allowed 6 hrs/wk which was fine that's doable #but i guess bc i didn’t work january i get eleven now #but consider! i don't WANT eleven hours i want to QUIT #but she really wants to schedule me fridays and things keep complicating it ans i don't know how to say i don't want to work Fridays #and i HAVE to make sure she continues to like me bc shes the person to go to for SM shit. shes in charge and seemingly fickle #i'm already workinf mon-wed and one of those days i literally don't have time to get lunch so i'm not eating til 5 #but i really should push thru to the end of the year at least. i need an understanding of this facet of things.#shes put in the work to train me i shouldnt leave after one semester.#UGH #hate this im too tired for negotiations over a job i dont even want

3 notes · View notes

nexus-nebulae · 1 year

Text

really fucks me up how much i've been told that visibly showing symptoms of depression is inherently abusive

#cw abuse #cw suicide #cw self harm #currently we don't struggle with depression as much as we did in the past #we're at a point now where it wouldn't be a danger to us really at all #but i remember how much in high school i would refuse to tell people how i felt and what i wanted to do #because i was legitimately told repeatedly that telling someone else that you wanted to commit suicide was abusive #or that harming yourself was inherently abusive to those around you #not just in terms of things like 'if you don't do X i will harm myself' which can definitely be abuse #but just. overall. in general. for any reason.#which didn't make me want to STOP hurting myself. it did the fucking opposite #it made me isolate myself just to do that which in turn only fucked me up more #and it made me feel like i *should* get rid of myself because then that'd guarantee i wouldn't hurt people more #and even now i still feel like. crippling guilt over the fact that i ever even did those things in the first place #not to mention other headmates that don't hold body memories but still having similar exomemories also being fucked up by guilt #when literally we were not in full control of our thoughts or actions we were fucking mentally ill #our circumstances were horrible and people were hurting us simply because we expressed the fact that we were hurt in the first place #we were literally treated like telling someone 'hey i think i might harm myself can you help me to not do that' was abuse #and of course the shitty ex that i was with at the time decided to make it worse in her own fun ways too #so like everyone i asked for help just made it worse so i never ended up getting help until my mental health fully and absolutely collapsed #simply because. i was told. that my own mental illness hurt other people more than me #because their annoyance at me being sad was a higher priority than. you know. such overwhelming despair that i didnt want to live.

2 notes · View notes

opens-up-4-nobody · 2 years

Text

...

#me at abt 10 this morning: if i find one more fucking grass in gonna lose it and start stabbing the ground #12 unknown grasses to keep track of. fucking. i am not a plant person. they all look the fucking same. id i track them correctly? who tf #knows but i tried. and the ground here is so weird it doesnt quite work for what were trying to do collection wise. the mosses arent that #bi0crust-y so i might have to use the bryophite chamber on them. and we only have one of those so that will cause me a lot of agony #3.5hrs just looking at plants and dirt and calling out names while doing lunges. my legs are jelly #at least we only had to do 8hrs today and halfway thru i got to do collecting on one side by myself #its a lot more tolerable when no one else is there bc i sing to myself when im stressed tf out lmao #fuck sagebrush tho. it makes my nose run so bad. my nose and mouth r so raw feeling. when i got back my nose started bleeding in the shower #3 more fucking days until we leave and its 2 days of travel #and in theory we have 2 more locations where we're gonna sample #and one is even further away in California. and at the end of all this i get to run these samples #which nearly brought me to full on mental collapse last time. so yaaaaay #as i frequently say. ive gotta get tf outta here and find a phd #im not an ecologist. its good ill have an ecology background but like im more a mechanisms person #the other 2 locations r prob gonna happen later this year at some pt but idk #like i get y the project is important and if u told me abt it blind id b like oh thats interesting #but like in a way where id be fine never knowing. it doesnt make me feel anything. ya kno?#so ive gotta get out before i break my brain beyond repair #unrelated

3 notes · View notes

arolesbianism · 8 days

Text

I should rly get around to designing the Jackies and Olivias from my swap aus now that I have ideas for how to differentiate them for their non swapped counterparts, but at the same time the eternal dread of having to commit to either keeping or changing the gravitas uniform for the swap aus hangs over me with ever increasing pressure, so maybe I can just only draw headshots of them and commit to that til the end of time instead

#rat rambles #oni posting #but actually I probably will keep the uniforms because I like them and theyre fun to draw #plus I dont think making olivia director inherently means that the uniform would change so I can get away with it #olivia and jackie would have probably come up with that together anyways simular to the rest of gravitas branding #theyve probably had all of that decided on since their college days lol #but yeah Ive been thinking abt the swap aus more since it's fun to put olivia into a more antagonistic role #even if the levels of antagonistic varry heavily and in most of the universes jackie is also an antagonist even as the primary pov #a lot of these in universe would be mostly jackie pov rambling about some bullshit that doesnt matter while the real meat in the other logs #all imply some gnarly shit abt olivia and how shes faring as director #shes typically not as bad as her non swapped jackies but she rly pushes it in the swapped rat universe #and by that I kind of just mean she is simply just worse but she at least almost handled the divorce better than canon jackie #I say almost because she did proceed to kidnap the woman after she admittedly broke into gravitas facilities after being fired but still #generally speaking kidnapping and semi murdering your ex for science is t a cool move no matter how justified you feel #the other two olivias are a lot less openly corrupt with rabbit au olivia being mostly just more mean and raccoon au olivia just having a #smidge of a god complex that she generally never acted on to be shitty #also one of those olivias was in a toxic codependent relationship with her unstable wife and the other was also in an toxic codependent #relationship with her wife but her wife proceeded to murder her about it #the jackies are all pretty shitty tho even if in mostly different ways #we have petty incel jackie we have emotionally manipulative jackie and we have the reason raccoon au olivia has a mild god complex jackie #and then we're forced to sit and watch as each jackie reads through their shitty actions as memoryless pods acting like theyd never do that #only to remember and sit in horror at the fact that at the end of the day their actions had little concequence to the greater universe and #that the only thing they achieved in life was hurting the woman they loved most and dying in a way that ultimately meant nothing #which is another reason Ive been thinking abt these aus sm as I love narratively kicking the shit out of jackie its fun #its a sign of my deepest love <3 #Im so much nicer to main au jackie which is saying smth since one of them gets literally murdered #albeit swap rat au jackie also gets sorta murdered so raccoon au jackie rly isn't special in that regard #at least she wasnt held hostage before hand it was a spur of the moment event #anyways I need to shower before it gets too late Im trying to maintain a msidgen of a sleep schedule

0 notes

applescabs · 4 months

Text

WE'RE FINALLY DONE WITH TACTICAAAA AGHAGHHS

#took us around 56 hours. which is between what i expected. 50/60 hours.#we're just glad its over and done with (for now. we'll revisit the dlc once we finish royal)#its honestly such a shame that it ended up being the way it was.#it was like. ok the entire first area feels like a way too long tutorial.#and then the 2nd area had some fun stuff but also felt like a drag cause they kept repeating themselves over and over again #in typical p5 fashion...#the third area was easily the best because it finally had good pacing between story and battle amount #and then the last area was like the last area in s frontiers were it was clear that they just. sort of ran out of time #and just decided to recolour some shit from previous areas to throw at you #the final boss battle was kinda nice though but unfortunately we were way too overpowered #on hard mode...? without grinding ever. ok then.#anyways shoutout to brigantine blitzkrieg. the only voltage move we ever used. used it like 8 times in that final battle.#shoutout to ryuji in general btw he was almost always in our team. along w yusuke and ann. they were the dreamteam.#also fun fact. whenever lavenza would talk with spoken dialogue we would straight up cut her off #because she talks terribly slow and we hate her <3 #also i like the style of this game. sure. but i feel like it actively worked against itself whenever it would get really serious #the boss designs in this game though? fucking phenomenal like they really knocked it outta the park w those #and every p5 game shouldve used the offwhite in the menus of this one instead of the bright white. my eyes thank the designer of this game #tedpost #tedtalks #and no way in hell ppl finished this game in 25 hours. shut the hell up no you didnt.

1 note · View note

evangelifloss · 2 months

Text

Thinking about a certain scene in Dungeon Meshi that completely encapsulates the Autistic experience of making friends as an adult and how hard it is to try and navigate it without ending up getting hurt.

Like IDK about y'all, but this is a common problem ALOT of Autistic Adults face when trying to make friends with other people, because unlike children who aren't good at keeping their opinions to themselves, Adults ARE. In society, we're even encouraged to "keep the peace" "be polite" and etc, which commonly leads to awful scenarios as shown above when Laois finds out his buddy has come to resent who Laois is without actually telling him. All too often the friends that we love to hang out with, people that we're so happy to spend time with, don't feel the same way and in many cases, come to blame us for our social cues or lack thereof.

And when/if we do eventually find out how our friend feels, Dungeon Meshi hits us with another painful panel of how that usually ends up playing out.

It's hard for Adults with Autism to make friends, and even harder to maintain them because alot of the ways Neurotypicals tell other Neurotypicals that they don't like a certain behavior is by quietly disengaging. Whether that involves having one sentence answers, going quiet, or having a certain tone in their voice, all those things signal annoyance or disapproval, but for the Neurodivergents, those subtle cues are completely missed.

And yet when we inevitably discover we DID do something, it is natural to ask "well why didn't you tell me?" because in our minds, it should've been the next step in the equation. However for the Neurotypicals, that's NOT something to bring up. Its important to be SUBTLE about the issue at hand and rely on signals to tell the other person. Blame is placed on us for not noticing the "obvious" signs of disapproval rather than the idea of talking it out as such things are uncomfortable and harder to do. Alot of the time what ends up happening is resentment due to the idea that it was "obvious" and the fact one didn't notice indicates a deliberate ignorance rather than a complete unawareness. It ends up calling into question our quality as a person and our sincerity. We get called "fake" or "malicious" or even "stupid" for failing social cues rather than questioning the decision to be indirect and vague.

For a manga about exploring the dungeon, it seems that the artist would rather explore very real and prevalent dynamics in society with the adventuring premise as a backdrop. I felt VERY seen in these panels, and many others, because it happens so suddenly and dare I say it, plainly. There's no dramatic build-up or spectacle made and in essence, it just Happens.

I think that's what makes the scene hit even harder. It seemingly comes out of nowhere for Laois, like how it always comes out of nowhere for alot of people, and it's never a dramatic twist either. It's always mundane and hurtful. A sudden unforeseen bump in the road that ends up calling into question one's entire friendship with someone and consequent other friendships. It asks "what if other friends feel the same. What if the people that I really like actually hate me and I don't know it?" Or at least that's what I came away with after reading the chapter. I've been where Laois was and the only reason I'm not there now is because I lost the naivete I had and doubt everyone else's sincerity.

#dungeon meshi #delicious in dungeon #laois touden #laois dungeon meshi #ryoko kui #dungeon meshi analysis #autistic things #autism #adults with autism #autistic adult #neurodiversity #neurodivergent

4K notes · View notes

louisa-gc · 21 days

Text

how to start reading again

from someone who was a voracious reader until high school and is now getting back into it in her twenties.

start with an old favourite. even though it felt a little silly, i re-read the harry potter series one christmas and it wiped away my worry that i wasn't capable of reading anymore. they are long books, but i was still able to get completely immersed and to read just as fast as i had years and years ago.

don't be afraid of "easier" books. before high school i was reading the french existentialists, but when getting back into reading, i picked up lucinda riley and sally rooney. not my favourite authors by far, but easier to read while not being totally terrible. i needed to remind myself that only choosing classics would not make me a better or smarter person. if a book requires a slower pace of reading to be understood, it's easier to just drop it, which is exactly what i wanted to avoid at first.

go for essays and short stories. no need to explain this one: the shorter the whole, the less daunting it is. i definitely avoided all books over 350 pages at first and stuck to essay collections until i suddenly devoured donna tartt's goldfinch.

remember it's okay not to finish. i was one of those people who finished every book they started, but not anymore! if i pick up a book at the library and after a few chapters realise i'd rather not read it, i just return it. (another good reason to use your local library! no money spent on books you might end up disliking.)

analyse — or don't. some people enjoy reading more when they take notes or really stop to think about the contents. for me, at first, it was more important to build the habit of reading, and the thought of analysing what i read felt daunting. once i let go of that expectation, i realised i naturally analyse and process what i read anyway.

read when you would usually use your phone. just as i did when i was a child, i try to read when eating, in the bathroom, on public transport, right before sleeping. i even read when i walk, because that's normally a time i stare at my screen anyway. those few pages you read when you brush your teeth and wait for a friend very quickly stack up.

finish the chapter. if you have time, try to finish the part you're reading before closing the book. usually i find i actually don't want to stop reading once i get to the end of a chapter — and if i do, it feels like a good place to pick up again later.

try different languages. i was quickly approaching a reading slump towards the end of my exchange year, until i realised i had only had access to books in english and that, despite my fluency, i was tired of the language. so as soon as i got back home i started picking up books in my native tongue, which made reading feel much easier and more fun again! after some nine months, i'm starting to read in english again without it feeling like a huge task.

forget what's popular. i thought social media would be a fun way to find interesting books to read, but i quickly grew frustrated after hating every single book i picked up on some influencer's recommendation. it's certainly more time-consuming to find new books on your own, but this way i don't despise every novel i pick up.

remember it isn't about quantity. the online book community's endless posts about reading 150 books each year or 6 books in a single day easily make us feel like we're slow, bad readers, but here's the thing: it does not matter at all how many books you read or what your reading pace is. we all lead different lives, just be proud of yourself for reading at all!

stop stressing about it. we all know why reading is important, and since the pandemic reading has become an even more popular hobby than it was before (which is wonderful!). however, there's no need to force yourself to be "a reader". pick up a book every now and then and keep reading if you enjoy it, but not reading regularly doesn't make you any less of a good person. i find the pressure to become "a person who reads" or to rediscover my inner bookworm only distances me from the very act of reading.

#louisa-gc #academia #studyblr #aesthetic #book #books #reading #read #advice #help #university #study #uni #library #bibliophile #it girl #that girl #habits #booktok #booktube #bookstagram

3K notes · View notes

ridleymocki · 7 months

Text

(seeing so many bad faith interpretations of the argument, y'all are really going to make me do this, okay HERE WE GO)

.................................

What Ed says: "I think last night was a mistake. I'm not ready for... Whatever this is."

What Ed means: "I didn't want last night to happen so soon or under those circumstances. Things are changing rapidly, which makes me feel out of control and scared."

What Stede hears: "I regret sleeping with you. I don't want the sort of relationship that you're after."

.................................

What Stede says: "It was a fine fish. It was... whatever. I was just trying to make you feel good!"

What Stede means: "I only cared about the fish because you cared about it, and I care about you. I liked the fish because it made you happy. Ordinarily, I'm ambivalent about fish."

What Ed hears: "I lied to you. I didn't care about your achievement I was just placating you to get what I wanted."

.................................

What Ed says: "Here's the news: I'm leaving. I got a job on a little fishing boat and I'm leaving. I'm a fisherman now."

What Ed means: "I think I need to be away from you to figure out who I am, because I haven't been able to do that while we're together, and your lifestyle now is the life I'm trying to leave behind."

What Stede hears: "I've made a decision to leave you and have a life without you. I don't value what we have enough to work with you to find a solution, I'd prefer to end it."

.................................

What Stede says: "Oh, Ed. Seriously? You're not a fisherman."

What Stede means: "I think you're using this plan to escape and avoid your problems. It sounds like you're pretending to be someone else. It seems to me like an impulsive decision and I am concerned."

What Ed hears: "I don't support this ambition. I think you're incapable. I don't think you can be different from what you have always been."

.................................

This is the kind of analysis done in therapeutic environments. When I put what they mean, it's not just a rephrasing but a boiling down to the core issue. I could go on to the rest of the dialogue but do you see the continuing ship-in-the-night miscommunication?? It's tripartite:

failing to express one's current emotional reality with the most accurate and clear language, often because that reality is not fully understood to oneself,

misinterpreting the other's language, due to preexisting sensitivities and defensiveness about one's own understanding of the situation,

increasing frustration and sense of personal attack that results from those misinterpretations, which perpetuates and worsens the poor communication.

Importantly, this kind of pattern means you miss the best and most important kernels of communication in an exchange because you're reacting to the more inflammatory parts.

Stede: "This can be whatever we want it to be." (I am willing to make changes to our arrangement so that you're happy). Ed: "I don't even know who I am! Alright? I know I don't want to be a pirate. And you, you're blowing up, you're the toast of the town." (I think we want different things. You're just starting a journey that I've already finished).

With those two bits alone they could've sorted this out. The first is the answer to the second. But they didn't -- couldn't -- latch onto it because all their other baggage was getting in the way.

And I'm being proven correct that this is what is happening, because I have seen next to nothing on here about the above two lines, only reactionary takes of fans also focusing on the inflammatory parts because of their predispositions. You're doing an encore performance of what they're doing.

Point being, there are no bad guys in this scene, just repeated system failure!

#our flag means death #ofmd s2 spoilers #blackbonnet #ofmd #edward teach #stede bonnet #ofmd spoilers #ofmd s2 #ofmd season 2 #our flag means death s2 #ofmd meta #something something cracking up on the rocks #cocktail name? my mental state? who knows!

4K notes · View notes

dark-night-hero · 1 month

Text

"So it's true! You and her- Guizhong were a thing. Then what the hell does that make me Morax?!" "Can you just drop it of? We're in a hurry." He was tired. And their friend was in danger. "No! Knowing you'll be out there to save your other lover, tell me the truth Morax! Is it true?!" It was the same topic of argument for some time now. He had been denying it over and over again, he just cannot seem to understand why you kept insisting even after hearing him say that was not the case. And he was getting tired of it.

Guizhong was just a friend and that very same friend is now in danger if they do not arrive at rhe right time and here he is getting hold up because of your questions. And knowing you would not let him go even if he were to deny it because that was the truth. Maybe he should give in for now to avoid further more questioning and leave as fast as he can so he could come back to you in now time, knowing that he could easily resolve the misunderstanding and his lies. "You know what. It's true. Now if you just get out of the way, I need to save her." "Wha-what? Wa-wait! Morax-!"

He did not mean to be harsh than he already is. He was just mad, mad because he saw no reason why you should get jealous of a friend, a common friend of yours. Mad because he was running late and a little more than to it could possibly result the death of a dear friend. At the same time, he was mad at himself for leaving that way. But he knew he could always explain when he came back into you. The two of you could always sort it out after the battle like you two always does.

So why? So why in the world- celestia were everything was on fire. And you were in the middle of it, leaning on your weapon for support, blood running down all the way from your temple into your chin. It was not just that. You are bleeding, bleeding all over. Why. Why why why why why? Just what the hell happened in here?

"Don't come." You utter, despite the fact that you could barely stand, you painfully look forward to your lover... heh, can he still be called a lover when he already admitted that he betrayed you? "Some..." you pant. "Some beings came into the city while you were away... hahh, I manage to defend the city until all the people manage to flee but- cough! Hahh, the god manage to escape."

"No. No no no no no." It was getting hard to breathe, nevertheless you should see Morax from afar, running towards you. "Bastard- I told you not to come he-!" You stagger forward, for a moment losing consciousness, still, you embrace yourself with the thought of you hitting the ground. But you never did.

"Let go." "It was a lie. There was no one else." "Morax- I said-" "I was in a hurry, I did not mean to say those words. Guizhong was only a friend. Believe me. God- Celestia. There is no one else. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Please don't leave me." He was hugging, cradling you in his arms. His tears rolling down his cheeks, into your own but you were feeling quite numb to notice that.

"It's..." You tried to hold up a hand but you could only feel the pain and the more it drains you. In the end you could only hold on into his arm. "It's okay... you don't have to lie to make me... feel better." You tried to smile to make him feel better, so why does it look like he was about to lose his whole world? "No. No please. It's nothing like that. I was a fool, I am a fool. Please believe me there is no one else but you. (First name). Please."

You knew he was talking, you can see him talking despite how things were slowly starting to go blurr, you can hear a few words but cannot seemed to focus on it when there is a high pitched ring that makes you unable to focus on what he was saying. Also, "It's cold." You mumble, fighting everything you can to stay conscious.

"Fuck!" Morax can feel your body slowly but surely cooling down. Suddenly his heart dropped as he panicked, he was getting anxious. He felt fear for the first time in his life. "Hold on, please hold on." He tried, he tried his best to fix you with his powers but it was no avail. You have so many wounds, you have already lost a lot of blood. You were dying all ago. "Fuck." He cursed once again. "Fuck, fuck! I told you to hold on (First name)!" He was getting mad again.

Morax felt like he was going mad, he felt like he was about to get crazy. Specially when he saw you starting to close your eyes. He felt a shiver down his spine. "Don't you dare close your eyes (First name)!" Not like this, not when you seemed to sure that he never loved- love you. "Fuck!" His amber iris were glowing with that presence of a dragon. "Don't you dare fell asleep (First name). I'm begging you please-?" He felt a light squeeze on his arm.

"Its.. okay." Taking your last breath, Morax felt the heavy weight of your now dead body in his arms. Your hand falling to your side as your head rest in his chest. At that very moment a rain drop fell from the sky, Morax arms were trembling yet still manage to pull you closer to him as if trying to find a little warmth. "Hah, hahaha. HAHAHAHAHAHA."

That day, the dragon lost his mate. His one and only mate as his anguish cries were heard all throughout their land.

: bye, may klase pa ko ng alas quatro sa hapon.

: Also, why is it always zhongli who become the victim of my angst ideas. Tho I might make a same promt with ???

1K notes · View notes