I’ve been playing a lot of small indie games and god I wish the rest of the game industry understood that the whole point of farming and grinding is so that in some point of the journey the player can go HAHAHA I PLANNED FOR THIS and pull off crazy crap earlier than they should be able to. Like Teenage Exocolonist letting me just walk past all the checks when I’m outside the colony and go to the boss immediately because I farmed the fuck out of my perception skill should technically be game ruining but it’s not. I planned for this so I could get the ascension ending easily while simultaneously putting the rest of my effort into figuring out as much about engineering as possible at the same time so I can pull off a full shield run. Having advantages in certain contexts should allow me to interact with it in a way that opens an entirely new path for me to take. Poisoning the campfire survivors at the very beginning of my Inscryption run lets me take a route where I focus on building up the cards I already have instead of hunting down new ones. Advantages are good!! Grinding so you’re high enough level to beat one boss only for the rest of the game to balance itself by making everything else many levels higher than you once again is unrewarding. If your player cannot face your game from multiple angles then maybe it’s not that worth exploring. If your player over relies on an ability they spent a long time working up and they’ve made the game too easy make it so that steers them into a new situation where they have to innovate on their strategy to get things going again. Just hand me a game like Inscryption where I farm the whole game with fecundity decks and then get to Kaycee’s Mod and realize I have to relearn the whole game from a completely new perspective now that I can’t rely on that anymore. If it’s just a matter of “the numbers are too high we have to turn all the other numbers up too” then do the numbers really mean anything anymore or are you just keeping me stuck in a role where I’m saying to myself “once I have the advantage I’ll be able to explore so many new things” but then never letting me have any advantage until near the end when the world has lost its charm because everything is just a damn numbers game.

ok wait i need to hear more of your thoughts on peeta owning a bakery....

This is one of those rare times where I’m pretty sure this anon isn’t someone I know personally bc I’ve subjected anyone who will listen to my rant about the Peeta Bakery Headcanon. Anyway, you’re gonna regret asking this anon bc there are fucking Layers here.

I know this is probably a controversial take based on the number of fics where I’ve seen it, but I simply do not think that Peeta would open a commercial bakery after Mockingjay!! Like on a metatextual level, I don’t think it really fits with the point of the ending of the series. It actually sort of fascinates me that it’s just such a common headcanon because the ending of Mockingjay is exceedingly vague. I think that vagueness invites us, as readers, to imagine a better world post-revolution. A world where Katniss would feel confident that her children would be safe from injustice, where she’d feel confident that her children would never know want the way she did as a child. A just world. A kinder world. Can a capitalist society ever be just? Is a capitalist society where a disabled teenager has no other means to subsist himself (or feels like there’s no other way he can be a contributing member of his community) really the post-revolution world we dream of? Is that really the best we can imagine?

(This got so insanely long I’m adding a read more lmao)

I get that showing a better world is not always the point of post-mockingjay headcanons/fics. Like there are plenty of really great post-mockingjay fics I’ve seen where, yeah, part of the fic is that society like ISN’T all that different or all that much better. I’ve seen that really well done! Hell, I’ve written them myself! It’s easy to imagine how a lot of aspects of society would not get an overhaul, a lot of the same structural inequalities would continue to exist. One headcanon that really stuck with me (I can’t remember which fic it was from) was that Peeta sells basically mail order baked goods to people on the Capitol, sending them iced cakes and pastries by train, because there are still people who were “fans” of theirs during the Games. And idk this doesn’t actually have much to do with my point lol but I liked it because it’s kind of fucked up and like! Yeah! It makes sense! If he needed money that would be a good way to make it! War often makes people rich, often for horrible reasons, and often it’s people who already have capital in the first place.

Anyway, more about the hypothetical bakery because alright. I bring up the fact that “yeah society not being all that different post-revolution and still being an unjust capitalist hellscape” could be a reason why Peeta re-opens a bakery because that’s actually never the types of fics where I see the bakery headcanon. Fics where Peeta opens a bakery are usually trying to make the exact opposite point. Like. Things are getting better, now he can open a bakery! Look at how much better the world is now, plus he’s got a bakery! Peeta is healing, that’s why he can open a bakery now! And I am so, so sorry to inform everyone who’s never had the grave misfortune of owning a family business, but there is truly nothing further from the truth lmao. Like just putting aside the immense amount of emotional baggage that Peeta has about his family, running a small business is an insane amount of work in any context and being a baker especially is physically grueling and involves early hours (and long hours) that aren’t really the best fit with the multiple ways that Peeta is disabled now. (I could go into this more because I have a lot of thoughts. But I will spare you.). I also think it’s seen throughout the books that Peeta is someone who needs time to pursue creative outlets to process his feelings and someone who values leisure and values quality time with his loved ones. And having grown up in his family’s bakery, I think he’d understand the reality that running a bakery wouldn’t leave much space of those pursuits and wouldn’t leave much space for him to have the things that keep him healthy and stable. I think he’d know that the way he is now— after two Games and the war and unspeakable torture at the hands of a dictator—isn’t compatible with the lifestyle necessary for running a commercial bakery.

And tbh with that in mind, I don’t think he’d push himself to re-open a business (one that would be a constant reminder of his dead family and his complicated relationships with them that got no closure) that would require him to sacrifice his physical and emotional well-being. Like I think he might look into the possibility, I think he might even start trying to open a bakery out of a sense of obligation/duty, maybe harboring some idea that this is who he was supposed to be, who he would've been without the Games, or that it’s this last piece of his family that can live on, or that it’s this last connection to his family so he can’t let it die too. But ultimately, I think any attempt to open a bakery wouldn’t get very far. Maybe he'd start wading into the logistical nightmare that is small business ownership and realize it's not for him (because it's probably also true that as much as him and his brothers were involved in the business, there's almost certainly parts they weren't involved with and didn't see, i.e., filing taxes). Or maybe looking into opening a bakery— how triggering it is, the stress of it— causes a downward spiral. Maybe he hates how much he's worrying everyone by unraveling. Maybe having a breakdown from the stress of just trying to open a bakery makes him realize, yeah, maybe in another life he would have ran his family’s bakery but the way he is now just doesn’t work with running a bakery, not without great sacrifices he's not willing to make. I just can’t see a bakery coming to fruition.

I know a lot of fics include Peeta deciding to reopen a bakery as a big step in his healing or include him rebuilding a bakery as part of his healing process but honestly, I think the opposite would be more true: I think Peeta either trying/failing to open a bakery or ultimately deciding not to open a bakery would be hugely healing for him. I think it would be a huge part of him accepting the way he is now as a person, his new limitations but also his strengths. I think it would be a huge part of him accepting the way his life his now and accepting that he likes his life the way it is, that he’s satisfied with his life without needing to own a bakery. I think it would be an important part of him coming to terms with the loss of his family. I think he knows he can never have things back as they were and I don’t think he would try to recreate them, especially because his family’s legacy isn’t a business. I think he’s emotionally intelligent enough and self reflective enough to realize that what mattered to him about the bakery— taking care of others by feeding them, being integrated into his community and being actively involved in it, brightening people’s days with delightful things whether that’s beautiful cakes or hearty food or delicious treats— and the things he learned from his family through the bakery, are things that he can carry on in other meaningful ways.

(Do you regret sending this ask yet, anon? Because if not, you will soon. I’m not done yet. There’s more.)

I wasn’t really sure where to put this next part in what is rapidly becoming an essay because it sort of combines the points about like “what do we imagine a post-mockingjay society to look like” with the practical difficulties of starting this bakery but here’s another thing: do people really think that the Mellarks owned the land the bakery was on?? Like, sure, the merchants are the petit bourgeois of Twelve but I still don’t imagine they really own anything. In a society where houses are assigned to people upon marriage, where property ownership and capital are so closely interconnected with citizenship (as shown by the Plinths who, by having immense capital, are able to leave their District and become citizens of the Capitol) do people really think the Mellarks would be allowed to own the land their bakery is on?? I always imagined it sort of like a tenant farming situation: the Capitol gives them the raw materials for the bakery and in return the bakery give them some absurdly high portion of their profits, or the Capitol sells them a year’s supply of raw materials at a premium on credit and at the end of the year the Mellarks have to use the money they made with those materials to pay it back, except it’s never enough to turn a profit so they always have to buy next year’s materials on credit and the cycle continues.

We (understandably) get a really skewed view of the merchant class through Katniss’s perspective so I can see why people come to the conclusion that his family owned the property and, as the last surviving member, he would’ve inherited it. I’ve seen the inheritance thing in fics a lot or a hand wavey “well Twelve was decimated to no one owns anything anymore so it can be his” or even like an almost sort of reparations type situation where he’s entitled to the land as a surviving refugee of Twelve. But I don’t know. I guess I don’t think it fits with everything else we know about Panem that the Mellarks would’ve owned that land and I think the question of whether the government would’ve let him take ownership of the land post-revolution brings up a lot of issues about the structure of society post-Mockingjay that I find more interesting to explore in other ways, especially when, from an emotional perspective, 1) I find the idea of Peeta not opening a bakery more compelling and 2) I don’t think it really fits his character arc by the end of Mockingjay to reopen a bakery, as I went on about at length above lol.

On the flip side: literally who cares!! Do whatever you want!! Headcanon whatever you want!! I get why people go for the bakery!! It’s fun, it’s wholesome, it’s a built in bakery AU that isn’t even an AU. It doesn’t matter if it’s practical or realistic!! It doesn’t need to be practical or realistic!! It’s fanfic of a dystopian YA series!! My unfortunate affliction is that I grew up in a family that owned a restaurant and that I have multiple degrees in the social sciences so I can’t see the bakery without being like “What about the overheard? What about the start up costs? Who’s spending long nights balancing the books? Is Peeta covering shifts when an employee calls in sick? Is Peeta the sole person working there until the bakery is open long enough (often a year or more) to start turning a profit? How does that sleep schedule work with his nightmares? How does that work with Katniss’s nightmares? What happens when he has an episode and suddenly needs to take the day off before he has any employees? Does the bakery just remain closed for the day? Can the profit margins withstand regular unexpected closures? Can the supplies withstand regular unexpected closures?” And if the answer is “Elliott none of those things matter he’s not doing the bakery because he needs the money but because he wants to”, then my question is why does he want to? Does he not get the same sort of satisfaction out of feeding his loved ones? Doesn’t Peeta seem like someone who would rather give away baked goods than sell them?? Doesn’t Peeta seem like someone who would prefer to make cakes for people’s special occasions upon and then when they insist on paying him for it, he only lets them “pay for the ingredients” which actually cost significantly more than he says they did??

So yeah my point is that it’s a matter of personal taste! It doesn’t fit the way I see the series but that doesn’t mean it’s like wrong, I’m not an authority on Peeta lmao.

It’s also a matter of personal taste in the sense that I find the themes that most resonate with me at the end of Mockingjay (and the end of Peeta’s arc specifically) more interesting to explore in other ways. Grief, living with loss, relearning yourself, finding hope, figuring out your place in a dramatically different world when you don’t even know who you are anymore, healing, building a new life after such complete and total destruction of your old life— those are all things I find compelling about the end of Mockingjay but for me the bakery isn’t the most compelling way to explore them.

Not to say I find the concept of the bakery totally uninteresting. I have this fic about Johanna that I’ll probably never finish where the point sort of is that, yeah, her life really isn’t all that much better after the war. It’s been years at this point and she’s still miserable and she doesn’t know how to be a person but by the end she’s trying to figure it out. And towards the end, Peeta tells her that he’s spent years sort of passively, half-heartedly trying to figure out how to inherit the land his family’s bakery was on, only to find out it was never theirs in the first place. They’d been renting it the whole time and he’d never even known as a kid. So he sort of passively, half-heartedly went on another wild goose chase to find the owner and now, finally, after years of writing to various government agencies and being sent in circles and things being barely functional, he’s managed to track down the owner. Now it’s owned by the daughter of the man who owned it when he was a kid because the original owner (who was likely up to some sketchy war crime shit) died during the war and she inherited it (the irony…). He got in contact with her and asked how much it would take for her to sell it and she told him she’s not interested in selling but in light of the situation, in light of the fact that he’d have to build a new building in order to operate a bakery, that she’d cut him a deal— she’d only require 50% of the bakery’s profits as rent instead of the 80% his family used to pay. And of course Johanna is outraged, that’s not right, the owner shouldn’t be allowed to do that, they should do something about it, they should fight back. And Peeta is like. Not interested. He was actually sort of relieved that opening wasn’t very feasible. Getting the answer was a lightbulb moment where he saw that over the years of trying to look into this, he’s built a life that he likes— one where he’s stable, where his loved ones are stable, where he’s cared for and can care for others— and he doesn’t really want to change it drastically by opening a bakery anyway. He just needed an answer, one way or another, before he could get some closure and move on. (And the point of the conversation is Johanna is having her own lightbulb moment that it’s okay to move on, it’s okay to change, it’s not a betrayal of the people and things she’s lost but that’s not my point here!!).

But anyway. That’s obviously not about running the bakery— it’s about the choice to not run one.

Anyway!! Anyway… are you satisfied anon? Is this what you wanted?

Lastly, here is my most important qualm with the bakery headcanon: must Peeta be gainfully employed? Is it not enough for him to be Katniss’s boytoy? Can’t he just paint and garden and bake and hang out with his girlfriend all day? Is that really too much to ask?

tell us about the royals au!!! (im on my knees. please.)

Ohhhhh my friend you have started me on a RANT I hope you’re ready!!!

I don’t know that I’ll ever actually write it so I’m not too worried about spoilers, and the wonderful people in my dms (which are still open btw) bouncing ideas with me are always going to come up with great ideas so I’m putting WIP in big red letters, things are subject to change! But for now, some ideas. Most of what I have will be under the cut, but if you want to know more about a specific part/have any questions please I’d love to chat :D will link to the art/posts I have so far!

(In this au I’ve been referring to Neil as Nathaniel at first and then Abram (hello names as a plot device), and everyone else right now is some version of their name)

Kevin and Nathaniel were raised at Evermore castle, Kevin to be in direct competition to Riko/see which of them might claim the throne (not thought out yet), and Nathaniel as the Moriyama’s attack dog, born and raised to take his father’s place as such. The two never met in person, but Nathaniel knows and recognizes Day because of course he does, and Day knows the name Wesninski means a very, very dangerous person. Essentially the top assassin on the continent.

But as we do, Day decides he can’t/won’t handle the treatment anymore, whatever the last straw may be, and runs off to Palmetto in a kind of desperate chase of the stories his mother used to tell him when he was little. He knew she loved that kingdom. Somehow he finds Wymack - the twin’s royal advisor - or Wymack finds him, and once Wymack realizes who this kid is and has reason to believe he’s not here on Evermore business, he puts Day’s incredible talent and training as a tactician/commander to work as his pupil.

Meanwhile Nathaniel is still at Evermore, mistreated and learning from his own failures and mistakes until he’s nearly as good as his father at the family business.

I don’t know how long Nathaniel plans it, but he either plays the part for long enough or his skill is so undeniable that when the Moriyamas have plans for the Palmetto Kingdom, they send him and one other accomplished fighter to kill the king. Nathaniel goes quietly and decides he’s not coming back if he can help it.

So instead of killing the young king, Nathaniel’s panic has him turn on his partner at the very last second, stopping them just before they can get to the king. He takes them somewhere far away and does what he does best, leaving no one to report back to the Moriyamas. From then on it’s a waiting game to see how long the family will wait before they send someone after him.

Day’s followed them, and Nathaniel turns around from the body and sees this man he hasn’t seen in years, alive and safe away from Evermore. It’s as elating as it is crushing - because Day heard his partner call him by name, and there is no way Day will ever let a Wesninski walk away alive. Not if he knows what’s good for all of them.

Except Day doesn’t kill him, even when Nathaniel asks him to. (Better Day than Riko, Nathaniel knew that even when they were all stuck at Evermore). Instead, he takes Nathaniel back to the twins/Wymack, gives him a little bread, and they sit until he can pry out an explanation. (See the comic of this first meeting here.)

Day and Nathaniel spend most of their time together because Day refuses to let Nathaniel out of his or Wymack’s sight until he proves not a threat to the royal family, which proves an issue because between Andrew’s rotation of personal guards (he never gets along with them well enough that they stay/aren’t fired) Day is Andrew’s guard, which sometimes means Nathaniel is stuck a lot closer than Day would like. But after a long, long time, Day and Wymack decide Nathaniel was serious about the whole “runaway” thing and isn’t playing spy (maybe there’s some dramatic event/Nathaniel protecting a twin that convinces them or maybe it’s just a lot of little things over time). Andrew, after a rough spat with the latest guard, is again in need of a new one. Finally Day just asks “is there ANYONE you could possibly pretend to get along with that can do the job” and Andrew knows Nathaniel is dangerous he just doesn’t know exactly how or why (but oh he is curious) so maybe he just straight up says. “Wesninski.” And Day has to go “…. Fine.”

So boom. They knew each other superficially before, but now Andrew and Nathaniel are spending most of their time together and miraculously - no arguments. No spats. Day thanks the gods there’s no physical altercations (that’s probably what got the last guard fired so quick). Nathaniel is just a mystery with shady ability to tell the truth and Andrew can’t help his curiosity. Good old fashioned andreil :D

From here the timeline becomes essentially nonexistent, I have no idea when these things happen in relation to each other but so far they’re all things I like and want to include!

1) there’s plenty of games and competitions at Palmetto, we love a good tussle, and Nathaniel usually does quite well - he’s not good at playing fair, but his underhanded methods are not technically illegal and usually he can use his preferred weapon - dagger rather than sword. He does well except for the one time an opponent accidentally says/does something that was constantly said or done to Nathaniel while “training” at Evermore, and he comes back to Andrew and the tent he watched from in the beginning of a panic attack. Andrew doesn’t know anything about Nathaniel’s past at this point, but he knows a panic attack when he sees one. In trying to talk him through it, Andrew realizes that yes Nathaniel is scared of being hurt, but he’s more afraid of hurting others. Nathaniel won’t let Andrew call him by name, he flinches every time Andrew says it. After, Andrew asks what he should call him instead, and Nathaniel finally asks to be called Abram.

2) Balls! Masquerades! Abram doesn’t have many outfits, he wears the regular issued uniform to every event. Andrew will not stand for this. Abram always wears clothes that cover him fully, which is fine, Andrew can work with that. He’s still seen Abram in a tight shirt or two. So he commissions one of the most knowledgeable people in the court (we’re thinking it might be Allison, she’s a noble but she’s great with textiles/embroidery/etc) and gets Abram a new outfit. It still covers him, its still protective material, but it looks better. (Find Abram in a corset here). Andrew handles it totally normal and rational in his head when he sees Abram actually wearing it of course.

3) Day probably assumes for a little while that Andrew and Abram have got a more or less normal guard/charge relationship, even thinking it’s slightly antagonistic considering this is Andrew we’re talking about. (This doesn’t fit the timeline, but here’s a mini comic of one of Day’s misunderstandings hehe)

4) king Aaron! He became king at 18/20/whatever age we decide this universe deems old enough because he is in fact the elder twin here. I imagine their parents have both been dead and gone for at least a few years at this point. Dan is Aaron’s guard and she and Abram hit it off great as coworkers and friends. More on the uncertainty of the twins backstory later. (Drawings of Aaron and his queen Katelyn here!)

5) the angst. The Moriyamas should have heard from the Wesninski boy months ago - something somewhere went wrong. So, naturally, they go to collect their property. If they get away with it, we can imagine how it goes. What I don’t know is if the twins, Day, and Wymack know for sure he was kidnapped or if they have a little nagging in the back of their head that wonders if he’s only run away from the castle or if he’s run back to Evermore with everything he’s learned.

When he’s recovered, Day doesn’t let Andrew too close too often for a while. If Abram forgets where is for even a second too long - waking up from a nightmare, having a flashback - it’s long enough for it to be fatal to whoever might get too close to Abram. It’s already almost proved fatal for Andrew, after Abram played normal so well that Andrew let it slip - he forgot Abram was taken back to Evermore for them to finish making him into a thoughtless weapon, and they’d nearly succeed. He wakes Abram too quickly and ends up extremely lucky Abram recognizes both his voice and the way Andrew didn’t call him ‘Nathaniel’ or ‘Wesninski’. There’s really a huge amount to possibly be covered about this point so I won’t go into detail here - but if you like hurt/comfort you know where to find me 👀

6) the biggest thing we haven’t figured out is Andrew. Either he was kidnapped at a young age and only recovered in his teens, or the elder King Minyard didn’t much care for his second son. Though I’ve always liked the idea of Mr. Minyard being a good man who died shortly before the twins’ birth and their mother just couldn’t handle the grief or knowing that the twins look like him. Anyway a lot of the twins’ issues after both of their parents are dead are the advisors or other people around them that try to take advantage of their youth and inexperience for their own gain, without realizing that both Aaron and Andrew have had to grow up much too fast, each for their own reasons. They can usually see right past the tricks. It’s why they both trust Wymack so much - he’s one of the few adults that are truly there to help them, and not make decisions for them.

Im sure there’s more I missed, but this is long enough as it is lol. People have asked about the Trojans/Jean in this au, and I’d love to include them! My brain’s instinctive response is that Jeremy is some sort of high end noble/royal of a faraway kingdom, and Jean (always last to leave the nest, im so sorry baby) somehow gets over there, but I don’t have an idea of his or anyone else’s roles yet. Renee could even still have a hand in him getting there if we really want.

So I’m still writing snippets and drawing over here lol but i promise I don’t bite if you want to talk :D

Small rant about fandom

So seeing a lot of “I miss my quiet fandom” from the Spiderman 2099 fans. Like yeah I geddit, got a lot of Gen A kids with their TikTok’s and their annoying Ciara track edits an such with a version of Miguel they don’t recognize. And also arguments about race and skintone.

think that’s bad?

Mortal Kombat fandom…. FULL of racism. Sexism. Homophobia. Transphobia. Deathwishes. Netherrealm Studios retconning the characters to hell because they handed the script to a guy who’s NEVER had any experience with video games (when it comes to ick, P Daniels got nothing on Dominic Cianciolo) Redesigns not able to decide who they wanna pander to. A lot of this crap because they were trying to stay relevant to an old crowd from the 90s as well as cater to a newer crowd, but there was a severe clash because the old crowd knew a simpler arcade game while the newer fans wanted FGC level BS. MK11 was the biggest fandom nightmare. Seriously atsv is MILD, and seems to try to go in the right direction by being rich with additional culturally specific art and design. MK did something like that but then also did some weird crap with it and not everyone was happy and I still haven’t exactly pinpointed just what that was! They literally changed up a skin because it was Confederate-inspired.

A mess! I got into the shittiest arguments. Never wanna go back to that ever again as long as a live, no matter how good or ambivalent my intentions are.

So I kinda left it alone

Anyway. Before atsv I went back to Psychonauts. Played it as a teen, then part 2 came out in my 30s. Of course they did small things that catered to new players. Some of the stuff the newer fans do are not always easy to relate to or understand (like the Miguel tiktok edits), but I really don’t mind it at all. I reached out to them in my own way by liking and reblogging their work and they checked me back in kind and some I chat with on a regular basis. What I’m tryna say here is that there’s always gonna be old fans and new fans. Depending on the way creators handle their audience can heavily effect the way their fandom gets along. NRS dropped the molten hot ball by being a hostile network that occasionally even fought with their own fans. Doublefine Studios is hella-casual and their fandom turned out that way too.

In real time I’m sorta watching where Sony is going with this fandom. They seem to be diverse-conscious yet also trying to ignore Miguel’s origin comic shamefully? Idk i think it fits him anyway, no matter what he looks like. Oof and I’ve seen the whole “why he white” rhetoric in Miguel fanart over at Pinterest and gosh I don’t know if I can spare to care anymore because you couldn’t swing a controller without running into that with MK art, when clearly a LOAD of their characters were default Caucasian-looking in the 90s. It’s a reoccurring design that has plenty of room to make changes with imo, but it’s tiresome to gatekeep.

I think if people are just a bit patient with the newer fans and not start a war, things will be fine and the Spiderman 2099 fandom will go back to being peaceful. I’m a newer fan. I don’t like the weird edits. I purchased the first two issues of the 90s comic to fully understand Miguel’s origin, the very comic with the cover that atsv used in his intro. It’s nice to collect something else other than DC Lobo. I think if you feel creeped out, pressured, or even downright angry at new fans, just ignore them. Ignore me. It’s possible to curate your own experience online. Except Twitter. Fuck that place in the A, I hate it. I’d join a hateocracy against the destruction of Twitter if I could. And if you a new fan, idk just have fun and don’t be mean to the old fans because they the reason 2099 came back around despite his story getting shelved several times.

Anyway, ramble over. I wanted to get a lot of that off my mind.

tmnt idw comics (rant) (spoiler warning for this whole post)

for the record i am a new tmnt fan. rise was the first version i saw literally just last year. i started the 2012 show (i stopped on season 2 for no particular reason but plan on continuing it soon) and then recently picked up the idw comics after seeing a lot of people say it was the best iteration of the turtles. and what do you know i fucking loved it. i started the main series about a week ago and now i’m on issue 127. i should’ve been doing college work, but it was so good i couldn’t stop reading. i became obsessed.

however all good things must come to an end because it got kinda ?? bad ?? after issue 105. absolutely loved issues 1 through 105. the down time after issue 100 was definitely needed, and i totally appreciated the turtles getting time to grieve and break down and pick themselves back up during 101-105. but then the whole mutant town arc Really started and it felt like the tone of the whole comic shifted very drastically ??? i usually love when side characters get some attention for a bit but now it kinda feels like they’re getting too much attention. specially the kids, i don’t find the weasels very likable and i think lita should get just a bit less attention. specially did not like the decision to have big lita come from the future and Say Plot Points At Them (im also completely ignoring her comment about leo and koya of all people. what ??? who made this decision). and it’s been getting gradually worse from there. i’m currently on issue 127 like i said and it just feels like the comic has some downtime and then it never picked back up. commander zom literally died on issue 126 and i didn’t feel any type of way about it except “well that was underwhelming”. shredder astral projecting to whisper in people’s ears is kinda weird. what even happened !!! how did the quality of the story-telling change so drastically !!! i wish i was better at identifying what specifically i dislike, and better at articulating it and explaining myself but yeah.

about specific characters:

- what’s up with casey. he kinda sucks now. started sucking after the breakup i feel like. i don’t need april and casey to get back together or anything but i feel like his character started getting meh after that and now we never see him and when we do he’s…. uhhh

- leo and raph’s independent emotional arcs make sense, i just wish there was more going on like there used to be before. love mikey starting a radio show, more of that please (this ties back in with me wanting more of the conflict with the outside of mutant town as well). and is it just me or is donnie not doing much of anything rn ??

- jennika: i’ve seen a lot of people complain about her but i actually quite like her. i think it makes sense that she would get a lot of focus from the story right after her mutation, and that we get to see her struggling with being a mutant and splinter’s death as well. i also don’t dislike the idea of her having an older sister dynamic with the other turtles, i just hope the narrative doesn’t overstep her place in the story. like i hope the story doesn’t start treating her like she’s on the same level as the og 4, or that she’s actually their older sister or something. maybe later on but currently it doesn’t feel like she’s known them for that long or is close enough with them for the sister thing to really work. and as for the 5th turtle thing just in general i don’t think introducing more turtles in any iteration is inherently a bad idea, i just don’t think it can work if you try to put said 5th turtle on the same level as the other four. it just feels wrong. but anyway

well that was longer than i wanted it to be. if someone actually bothered to read this post let me know what you think!! also i’m not totally caught up yet, does the story pick up again during the armageddon game arc ??? looking forward to it if so. i've been reading only the main series so far (oops, i'll get around to the other stuff i promise) but once the armageddon game arc starts i'll definitely read all of the (armageddon game-related) material chronologically

Not trying to start anything but it kinda annoys me that western based stuff in this game continues to get the short end of the stick. Gonna do a quick rant about western content in SSO, if you’re not interested please don’t read it.

Like absolutely SSO has improved leaps and bounds with representing western riding, we get so much more tack than when I started in 2017 and especially before then when there was almost never western tack (and even less apparel) released both for holidays and general. We finally got our own dedicated area in 2020. I love all of that, I really do. We got updates to some majorly western horses and they actually bothered to make the quarter horses have the working western animations.

But it’s kind of these little things that just kinda irritate me. It took more than than half the game’s lifetime to start adding more western content, not even achieving something like a 75% english to 25% western amount of tack or general content, ect in the game until around 2020. (Also arguably western is the second biggest riding discipline in the world especially if you lump racing in as an english horse sport. I’m surprised it took this long to see flat racing included more as well tbh...) People complained when we got western rep with Lisa’s update, like come on, I know it’s not as big of a deal as something like the gender rep I’ve been screaming about but also it’s just really annoying to see an equally major part of the horse community in this game just constantly put on the backburner.

Anyways, the reason I bring this up finally, and I’m not gonna do any formal complaint to SSE (I just submitted a small suggestion that they update Starshine) is because of the new horse coats update. Again, I don’t take this too seriously, it’s just grating on me as a western rider and I wanna get it out of my system. If you look at all the other new horse breeds, you can see that every coat is visibly available at their locations except the western breeds which have gotten pushed into this 4 horses option. You go to Steve’s Farm, Marley’s, New Hillcrest, ect and all of the horses are displayed. And maybe you’d think “oh but they have room to do that.” Yeah, they do. But they also either filled every spot or scooted the horses around to fit them all.

When you look at Starshine Ranch, they have room to put horses in all the stalls in and yet they only have 4 horses visibly shown and the rest are hidden in the “select more coats” when you actually check the buy menu. Now I completely forgot about the plan to implement this feature and my friends were kind enough to remind me so that’s why I’m not really that upset. But if you compare this to the other areas, it really feels like someone just half assed Starshine Ranch.

The horses aren’t laid out to take up all the spaces, both quarters and appaloosas are split between only two coats shown, we have arguably 3 updated American western breeds yet the American Paint Horses are still tucked away by the riding arena instead of in those open spaces at Starshine. Also both the appaloosa and paints when released weren’t added to Starshine, they were put in arguably less western areas. Maybe the reason is only because those areas had room but again, SSE controls how this game is made, why didn’t they design the ranch to have the room to add more coats to begin with? They could just add more of those wooden posts around the area or they could set up another area elsewhere at the ranch for more horse sales. We see this in other areas like New Hillcrest. I really don’t wanna think it’s them trying to make those breeds less western. Like yeah people use quarters, appaloosas and paints for all disciplines and I’ve certainly seen people use quarters in SSO as well with english tack for english content. But these are very obviously three American breeds that are heavily geared towards western and the only part of the game that screams American west is Starshine. I really hope they didn’t do it to try and boost sales because they think western theming doesn’t sell.

But back to the setup, if they are simplifying the horses, is it really too much to ask that they group all the western breeds together and fill out the spaces until new western breeds are added? Is it too much to ask that they actually say something in the news about “hey we’re applying that mechanic where only one or two horses are shown and the rest are hidden in the buy window.” I really don’t think it is and I wanna hope it’s not SSE’s team showing bias towards non-western content but I dunno, it just bugs me as someone who heavily focuses on this stuff and feels like we’re treated like a novelty for english riders.

Again, this is just a personal rant, don’t take it as seriously as my gender talk stuff because that is way more important but I wanted to get it off my chest. I’m curious if anyone else, especially those interested in western riding feel the same. I know western is heavily geared towards American players and this game is internationally enjoyed but I also know full well that western isn’t exclusive to America anymore. I’m pretty sure SSE’s even mentioned they have people who ride western who work for them in their office so what’s the deal with this kind of treatment for so long? I’m glad things are getting better, I’m grateful to see more tack and horses and especially Starshine Ranch get released, I just hope they can actually keep it up and not pull some lazy treatment like this in the future. Here’s hoping maybe they’re gonna release something like the mustang soon and there’s an actual reason we just don’t know yet as to why they did this only to the western horses.

Okay so there’s the thing… I play CROB still (for some reason 💀) and couple of updates ago I sent you a pretty long message about all the changes and how ugly they are and how much I hate them and how they demotivate me and I don’t really wanna play the game, but that message, sadly, was completely lost when I sent it because of the internet disconnection… so, I was really angry about it and just decided to let it be.

But OOOOOOHHHHH MYYYYYYYY GOOOOOOOOOD I CANNOT DO THIS ANYMORE‼️‼️‼️‼️ THIS FUCKING GAME JUST GETS WORSE AND WORSE, UGLIER AND UGLIER, LESS AND LESS CONVENIENT I— god I REALLY don’t want to be angry about it, but I’ve been playing this game for 2-3 years and put good amount of many into it (let’s not discuss whether it was a good idea or not, I have money to spare and CROB was one of my hobbies), but now the game is just so. Fucking. BAD.

Bro.

They changed the way to level up characters. I LEGITIMATELY don’t know how to do it anymore. You can pay GEMS to level up your characters (yes, you heard it right), they got rid of the character and pet gachas, BUT IT DIDNT MAKE IT BETTER!!!! I AM!!! SO‼️ ANGRYYYYYYY AGHHHHHH‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️

Today was a new update (it’s a Yogurca update) and I’m just…. Not only did they bring ANOTHER legendary treasure that is near impossible to get (I spent 50k+ gems that I’ve saved up + a lot of free pulls for treasure gacha and didn’t get SHIT), But also - and, tbf, I didn’t connect the dots until I went to the CROB’s YouTube channel - they’ve released a BOMBER cookie with a BOMBER jelly shapes for a middle eastern inspired world during Ramadan… need I say more?

God I’m so tired. I really liked CROB, I preferred it heavily over CRK, I was there for quite some time, but devs just get greedier and greedier, and they keep making game uglier and less convenient. I really don’t want to leave it behind, because, well, I put money into it, but outside of that, I still really like characters, I love their designs, I love the concept of the game and I REALLY love guild runs, they are fun! But at this point, I just login into the game everyday for rewards and to login into guild lottery. I just… god I feel so defeated. Why are they doing it? If the game is doing worse than they want, then just pull the fucking plug. I understand that some people are going to play and going to whale no matter what - I’ve already seen people with fully refined new legendary treasure, and that shit came out only couple of hours ago. But my GOD. I really liked this game, I felt nice while playing it, I liked the sense of accomplishment when I was getting better. Now the game is ugly, I don’t understand how to fucking LEVEL UP the characters and just….. ugh. Sorry for this rant, I just needed to talk about it somewhere 😓

Damn… Yeah IDK whats with CROB lately either. Im assuming theyre just putting more time and resources into CRK now, I know they never expected for CROB to get as consistently popular and well loved as it did and were planning for it to end well before… but like I honestly wish if they dont wanna do it anymore that they really did just shut it down rather than making things super bad until people just leave.

Which I mean theyre PROBABLY not going out of the way to make the game worse… but certainly FEELS that way. Or I guess its more they just wanna make more money off it. Since the Gacha was super generous when I was playing at least with the character/pet Gacha

And Peppercorn Cookie... great design... probably ANYWHERE ELSE at ANY OTHER TIME would have been a better time to release her... remarkably tone deaf.

It all really sucks since with Kingdom you need a higher end phone and it takes up way more space so theres probably a lot more people on the poorer side of things playing CROB which is probably why its so popular still… IDK.

Well IDK what to tell ya… I know I really loved the game and praised it for a long time and even spend money on it as well cuz I really enjoyed it… but it just stopped being worth it. If your still having fun just enjoy what you can… if you just wanna see the characters im sure you can find the stories on Youtube or something so you dont have to waste your time with it…

No worries tho. Im always ready to commiserate the loss of a good series or game...

(Unlike BNHA Im more sad about CROB than mad about it.)

okay, so, I was going to save this rant for the middle of my full Scarlet Blaze opinions post (... as one does, I guess), but I’m starting to worry that it’ll either get so long-winded it’ll take up more than its due real estate there, or that I’ll have lost too much of the immediate fervor by the time I finish the entire route. so here’s a quick rant concerning Monica and Fire Emblem fan reactions

not to bury the lede though. some people find Monica pretty annoying -- I don’t agree, but that much is perfectly fine. lately though I have been seeing a lot of comparisons to fucking Tharja and Faye, and that’s starting to make me frustratred possibly beyond the point of rationality. more under the cut!

so I haven’t seen everything that Scarlet Blaze has to offer, and for all I know something nasty is going to crop up ahead of the line and I’ll eat crow. crossing that bridge when I get to it. where I’m at right now, though, how shall I describe Monica? she has it bad for Edelgard, of course. it’s her Repetitive Character Thing, so it’ll always come up in those scenes where Linhardt is being lazy and Bernadetta is panicking and Petra is misuderstanding an idiom and Caspar is screaming -- or, as it were, ehum, revealing that he doesn’t know what sex is. it grates just as much as the other ones typically do, naturally. she’s also not a character with a wealth of dimensions or screentime outside of this, though, so there’s not terribly much else to anchor the screentime she does get. I can very, very easily see how not everyone would have the stamina for it.

Monica is not a fucking stalker, though.

is she obssessed with Edelgard? yes, for sure. but I’ve also yet to see a single scene where Monica actually violates Edelgard’s boundaries. she’s often a little much and kind of embarassing, but on occasions when she’s affirmatively told to reel it in, she does it without a complaint. and it almost never actually comes to that, anyway; she’s perfectly respectful most of the time without anyone telling her how to do it. conversely, I don’t think I’ve seen a single scene where Edelgard actually sounds at all uncomfortable with Monica’s attentions; at most, their B support almost goes there, but Edelgard is only really upset because she doesn’t want Monica unwittingly projecting affection into a decision that she made perfectly callously.

none of the above is stalking, by half. most everything Monica does in this game is just a kind of a comically exaggerated version of having a completely regular crush.

and naturally, that’s where her and Tharja differ dramatically. like, I am going to abstain from making too many definitive statments about what Tharja did or didn’t do -- it’s, thank god, been ages since last I touched Awakening -- but if nothing else, the known and obvious writer intent doesn’t lie. Tharja was conceived as a sympathetic stalker, whose repugnant behavior we’re expected to find sexually appealling. (and if her perennially solid CYL results are any indication, yeah, a bunch of us do find it sexually appealling, some freaking how).

I speak at least for me when I say that is the reason why Tharja is a garbage character -- and if she’s also one-note annoying and has one of the dumbest character designs this series has seen prior to Fates, those are secondary annoyances strictly, which would have easily blended into the sea of other Awakening characters with these exact same flaws if not for how #1 stands out as the real problem.

so like, if I’m willing to take things in good faith, I can at least sometimes let folks slide if they’re making that comparison, if I just assume that what they’re saying is “those are two characters that annoy me because they’re intensely obssessed with one other character; no statement on whether their similarities run any deeper than that”. even in that regard though, I can’t help noting that characters who are kind of obssessed with specific other characters have been a thing in this franchise since the freaking Akaneia Saga, so I can’t be too charitable to the thought that such a misleading comparison was the best one they could come up with.

(and in any case, for that matter, noting as much is a balm against the ones who are catastrophizing about how every Fire Emblem is going to be “like this” or something. like, I get, it’s hard to get over how dizzyingly stupid the whole thing was with adding a stalker to a remake -- but if this really is just about being annoyed by obssessive characters, then I regret to inform you, that’s just where we’ve been this entire goddamn time. you don’t have to like it regardless, but don’t treat it like a novel trope when it isn’t.)

now, those of you who know me well enough know that I really do not like making this kind of accusation just to win at fandom discourse (possible to achieve, normal to want, etc), but every now and then there are situations that actually call for it, so I'm just gonna let it out here in the heat of the moment and hope I won’t be embarassed whenever I’ve fully well calmed down about this. here goes -- if you can’t spot the line in the sand between an annoying lesbian and a goddamn stalker... you might need to work on your general opinion of lesbians, dontcha think?

I am playing Sakuya route in SLBP (mostly for the reward) and I wonder, where Nobunaga hatred toward ninjas comes from? This is like the 3rd game where he shows his disdain towards them. Can you explain why? Because I'm curious.

Oh no, it's that thing again.

Remind me what are the other ones. Is it Ninja Love? Nightshade? Non-otome games?

Anyway, this is a huge rant and IDK, could clog up people's dash so I will put it behind a cut.

I probably shouldn't say these about Japanese people writing about their own history and legends, but I hate this stupid "Nobunaga hates ninjas" trope, so my very grumpy answer is:

BECAUSE STUFFY CORPORATE SUITS ARE SO TERRIFIED OF CHANGE AND CAN'T BE ASSED TO TRY NEW THINGS. IF BULLSHIT TROPES STILL MAKE MONEY, THEN BY GOD THEY WILL KEEP MAKING IT UNTIL JESUS RETURNS.

And I'm giving the benefit of the doubt that they're doing this because "it's a trope that people seems to like", and not because they're just running off "I saw it in an anime/manga/novel/movie once" and never bother to Yahoo search it or open a book about it.

(I'm not all that mad anymore, but like, I will still go AAAAAAAAAAA every time it comes up)

"Nobunaga hates ninja" is a long-standing trope that's been around for decades in Japan. The oldest one I was able to find is this movie series called "Shinobi no Mono". Maybe there's something older, I don't know.

It's a historical fact that the Oda did invade Iga. However, there is so many context for it. Among many other things... one record says it's actually the people of Iga who sicced Nobunaga ON THE PROVINCE THEMSELVES.

It ended up being transformed into a "Nobunaga hates ninja" plotline because the above historical fact is being combined with the long-standing legend that "Iga is a place where ninjas live".

Also, in the 60s and 70s there’s this like... movement where people are really disgruntled at the government, and so because they can’t flat out write works about how much they hate the Japanese government of the time, they just write stuff about peasant heroes or vigilantes fighting against evil samurai lords as a way to vent their frustrations. Nobunaga being one of the easiest character to caricaturise because it’s not like the “evil stuff” they make him do is entirely wrong. The facts are just taken out of context and twisted for the sake of fiction. Evil/demonic/horrible Nobunaga as a trope in general seems to be relatively new from this era too, since Edo and Meiji works seems to present Nobunaga is an admirable heroic figure.

(well, they wrote about him doing kinda mean things, but it’s presented in a way that makes it sound like the writers think it’s “something that just happens” and not a big deal/not an entirely negative thing)

In real life there is no such thing as "sekrit ninjer village uwu", so honestly, if the above account is true, then it's possible that there's in-fighting among the people of Iga. It's what happens with the Saika people. Suzuki (Saika) Magoichi surrendered to Nobunaga and then some time later makes a request for the Oda army to come in and destroy this one guy he really hates.

If the story about the Iga folks inviting Nobunaga in themselves is actually false, I’ve not seen any other explanation for it yet, but I still think Nobunaga invading Iga is just business as usual. At the time of the Iga invasion, the surrounding provinces are already conquered, leaving Iga as this one tiny hole in the middle of what is technically "Oda territory". Maybe Nobunaga thinks this hostile province could cause problems in the surrounding regions, so he wants them gone. It's no different than, say, Nobunaga fighting a war against the Takeda and conquering them.

It's not even Nobunaga in command of the army (as far as reliable records go), so any depiction of Nobunaga personally leading his army into Iga is garbage. He sent one of his sons and a few generals to go off and fight, while he himself only comes in for inspection after everything's cleaned up.

The standard reasoning in bullshit Sengoku trope/fiction is that Nobu just doesn't trust woo woo shit, and only wants to do things the "legit" way (with soldiers and stuff). Ninja is considered woo woo because of their “secret arts”, and because they’re usually depicted as having no lords/masters but themselves, I guess he is wary of them rebelling against him or something.

Funny thing is, even if you actually buy into the ninjas thing, supposedly even the “guidebook of ninjas”, the Bansenshukai, says that the Oda has ninjas, so “Nobunaga hates ninjas” is just silly all around. Bansenshukai is this book supposedly detailing ninja clans and secret techniques and whatever, written in the 1600s, by one of the Fujibayashi descendants (IDK Sakuya’s grandkids I guess) 

K mako I know but why is yukari the worst thing to happen? I'm not upset I just don't remember/know if I've seen ya go into that

I started a post but....man this is gonna take a long time. And I need to go through P3 on both sides again. Partially cause info is inherently different on each side, and/or timing of said info. Such as, Yukari apologizes about something in her first SL rank (which is completely optional on both sides), but what she apologizes for between the Male and Female is completely different (due to when the SL can start). And I need to see if she apologized for the OTHER thing on the other side and vice versa (I think she does, but both are....optional.....so her apologies are optional).

But if I could give a run down on my issues with the char without elaborating (I’ll make a separate post about it in detail, I just don’t want to leave you hanging kfjsdaflk T0T). (I say this but spent hours typing this out...8U)

(oh boi...under the cut. Is this a rant or a therapy session? Maybe it’s Maybelline? The world may never know! Jk jk, I do try to relate some real life experiences to drive home why it annoys me. Basically “Why does this trope annoy me? Is it because I’ve been placed in that tropes situation 100 times, and each and every time it did not turn out the way the trope turns out even tho I did exactly as I was supposed to? Oh.” no I don’t go into situations with a trope in mind, hindsight is just 20/20.)

Basically her and Makoto surprisingly have similar things that irk me. 

Both are suppose to be chars we root for, but then do things that are not on the up and up, but we are suppose to be fine with it because they are the good guys and we are suppose to root for them/feel sorry for them. (and while this is relatively new for my hate on Yukari, both ironically harm a char I like. Makoto vs Anne, and her insults towards Anne and the whole Kamo incident, and Yukari vs Mitsuru and the whole.....everything...but mostly the Answer and Slap....and undermining >_> Not a complete 1:1, I find Yukari/Mitsuru dynamic to be more paralleled with Makoto/Eiko....and Mako ironically made me feel more sorry for Eiko lkdjsalfjdsa But again this is NEW for my dislike on Yukari, like the past 3-4 years......I’ve been playing Persona since 2009 so.....yeah bit of a gap. Anyway found that tidbit ironic)

(oh boi...under the cut. Is this a rant or a therapy session? Maybe it’s Maybelline? The world may never know! Jk jk, I do try to relate some real life experiences to drive home why it annoys me. Basically “Why does this trope annoy me? Is it because I’ve been placed in that tropes situation 100 times, and each and every time it did not turn out the way the trope turns out even tho I did exactly as I was supposed to? Oh.” no I don’t go into situations with a trope in mind, hindsight is 20/20.) 

An issue I’ve found with Yukari is that she can be VERY self centered and selfish. Any supposed empathy some how comes back to relating to herself. She goes behind SEES back (mainly Mitsuru and MC, aka the leaders, but we’re all in this together), and doing so knowingly is fine with jeopardizing operations (her reasonings aside, she could put us in more harms way with her digging around and it really should be hurting the teams trust than it does. “What about Mitsuru” Mitsuru isn’t a lone operator like Yukari, she has people she has to report to and even she doesn’t have all the answers.... gotta do what the Game and Yukari won’t do, consider Mitsuru’s situation more >_>). 

She continually acts out and it’s her way or the highway. She wants answers? She gets someone to hack the Kirijou group. She hates Junpei’s ghost story? She goes out of her way to prove him wrong, even if it means going to a shady part of town that gets them hurt. She hates the (albeit fake) info she gets about her dad? She goes off running and acting out. She hates the MC died? Well fuuuuuuck everyone else and how they feel. “What you guys can’t move on already? Just do it! Ugh, great now I can’t move on! I want to see him more than any of you! Screw you Aigis, why do you get Orpheus???? You’re just a sucky robot with no feelings, how dare you run away! WHat i”m not running away you guys are-” (I think I got a rough abbreviation to what happened, have to rewatch). 

“Wait Silly, you’re getting a bit unreasonable! She’s grieving.” Yeah so we should smack her. Smack some sense into her. She keeps acting out. It’s not fair to everyone else. She says and does things that hurt other’s or puts them at risk for her own goals. She could hurt their feelings on top of it! And it’s been like 10 years since her dad died. How dare she. She deserves to be smacked! >:(

“Silly, brah, why are you saying that??? What is wrong with you??? You don’t just smack people when they are grieving!”

Me: 

*cough*

Hmm huh? What was that? I couldn’t here you guys over the hypocrisy of this game. So Yukari gets to go around making an ass of herself. Gets mad when you try to console her at Yakushima (she flips on a dime like twice). “Oh but she apologizes” She (and Junpei) apologize throughout the whole damn game. After awhile, it starts to lose it’s meaning. Sometimes you can’t just “Sorry” your way out of situations. And these two tend to say some really harsh and line crossing things but it gets waved away with a sorry. It’s a bit infuriating. 

Oh, and that’s just the Journey. Let alone The Answer. Until my last playthrough like 3 years ago, I was like “I can’t be too harsh on her she is grieving.” But after replaying it I was like “Oh....you know what? That mentality is stupid. Everyone is grieving. Why does she get to act out the entire time. Why is her grief allowed to reign over everyone elses? No Mitsuru, stop defending her! Ahhhhhh I cannot buy your friendship she’s just been an ass to you the whole time and slaps you at your lowest! Slap. Her. Back! She’s gonna get us killed!” 

“But Yukari is realistic!” Yeah a realistically horrible person. 

Yes I completely hold any and every apology against her for this moment. No dramatic effect is not a good excuse. It’s just shitty. Mitsuru lost her dad like 11 days ago? Two weeks? And she’s still doing her Student Council duties? She now has to run a company? All while she literally lost her meaning of fighting. This is ignoring all the other bullshit she’s been put through. From lab experiments, to being the only user who could explore the Dark Hour for like 5ish years (give or take)? To have all the sins of her company, of all the adults, on her shoulders while she had no say. The fact she’s trying to clean up a mess that was never hers. The fact she is only a year old than Yukari but has been put through so much  than Yukari could ever dream (this is not measuring hardships, Yukari has never been put in all these same situations as Mitsuru). But Yukari thinks she can get up on a high horse and start smacking people around? What is she not grieving the right way for you Yukari? 

It’s just....so infuriating. Mitsuru has soooo much going on with her an we barely scratch the surface! Yet she has to constantly minimize herself for the sake of something/someone. She restricts herself to be prim/proper/mature for her company and to be able to take responsibility. She lets Yukari smack her around when she’s grieving. She let’s Yukari go off the rails in the Answer and sides with her, putting aside her own feelings because “Yukari needs her.” Mitsuru you need someone. 

It’s just.....Yukari always rubbed me the wrong way, same with Junpei. They are the main reason I dropped P3 the first time. Never made it to Aigis (I think I JUST made it to Fuuka/she just joined), Aigis is the reason I stuck with P3 when I gave it a 2nd chance. But the more I learn about Mitsuru (and god do I have to dig for info ;w;), the more upset I get with how she’s treated vs Yukari. (but this is only something I’ve started feeling the past...3-4 years, prior to that it was just Yukari’s conduct.....)

“But there’s no right or wrong way to grieve!” You’re right. There is no right or wrong way to grieve. But if your way of grief is lashing out at other’s, closing yourself off, and all around being harmful. It’s not other people’s fault if they don’t want to have anything to do with you. And that’s fair for them.

It’s not them abandoning you(Yukari).

It’s a gray area, on one hand “How could you just abandon them???” but on the other..... you have to take care of yourself. There’s personal boundaries and people can cross them, even ones you love. 

Again, all I’m saying is, yes you can be volatile when you grieve. You may watch your world burn. But don’t be surprised when everything around you is ash. 

I’m usually an optimist, but it’s a tough pill I have to swallow too.

So how do you confront such a complex situation? Well you could just simplify it and be like “We’re your friends, and we’ll be here for you! Yes we’ll ignore you insulting us, almost killing us and the world! Because we’re friends! :D” Yes, that is certainly an option you can do. Do I think it’s a good one? No. But it’s what we got.

And going through the Journey, knowing where Yukari will end up, and how yeah....it’s perfectly in line with her character.....It makes me dislike her more. Journey!Yukari might be tolerable by itself....MIGHT, but then you  recontextualize her reasonings in The Answer and how Answer!Yukari acts, then Journey!Yukar is just the blueprint laying the toxic foundation on what Answer!Yukari is going to be like. 

There’s also the message of (mostly in the Journey but also the Answer) of “I need to put in the effort so you can open up to others and be a good person, but I have to deal with your issues the whole way through to get to that.” Why? Why do I have to put all the work in so you can be decent? Why do I have to be the front runner of this emotional baggage? 

Can you tell I’ve dealt with these people before, and why I don’t like this trope? (I’m a bit of a people pleaser irl). Here’s the thing about this trope.....doesn’t always happen irl. If someone doesn’t like you and it’s almost a pain to hang out.....it probably means they don’t like you. You can try, I tried cause of friends of friends, but it doesn’t matter how nice you try to be....they just won’t like you. But when you see it, it’s like “oh if I just try harder!” but nope. 

I guess how I view it, it’s similar to the bastard boyfriend trope (and girlfriend), in which they are toxic and horrible but you just need to unlock that hidden sweet side! But no honey, you’re in a toxic relationship. 

Tldr; Yukari gets away with stuff because she’s grieving. Ignoring the fact that everyone else has emotions and is grieving too. But we’re suppose to give her a pass. But no, if you don’t give her a pass for her grief then you “lack reading comprehension” or some bullshit. Well maybe I understand why she’s acting that way, but I still don’t think it’s proper? What then? I should just be ok she’s being mean to Aigis cause she’s jealous? That’s bullshit. 

*gets hit with multiple flashbacks as a kid and teen where people were mean to me because they were jealous of something outside my control, despite me being nice and trying to befriend them* Oh.....yeah we’re getting to the root of my issues I see. Maybe that’s why I didn’t like her even back as a teen, I was thinking about that subconsciously. Hmmmmm......

(”Well aren’t you just perfect Silly?” No, like I said I was a people pleaser. I know I could be annoying but I was never a malicious person. If you couldn’t tell I like to hyperfixate and talk about stuff. That can annoy some people. And that’s fine. The difference between back then and now is that if I feel like we aren’t vibbing, I’m not gonna push it/force it. I’m also gonna hold my tongue for a lot of stuff because I’d rather keep a situation peaceful.....to an extent. I don’t like to rock the boat...... unless it’s Persona fandom boat, then I’m rocking it like a seesaw! kdljafl jk jk do I rock the boat here? I dunno. While there’s overlap in how things that happen to me irl influence how I view a medium..... I approach issues that arise irl vs fiction differently. I’ll get really passionate about fiction, maybe it’s because I have no control over it. I can get passionate about irl stuff in private, never online....but I usually figure out how to solve it if it’s long term.

Sorry went on a rant of trying to understand my thinking....maybe I shouldn’t leave it in there, possibly gonna regret it. But.....it does give insight on WHY I think that way, so it might be helpful in understanding my point of view? Or maybe this is just a sleep deprived rant..... *shrugs*)

Oh! Wait. One thing. I was joking about the “slap her back.” I don’t think the slaps should be there at all. But if we are gonna be all around fair, I’m still gonna question why Yukari never gets slapped. 

''The comments: https://www.reddit.com/r/Fauxmoi/comments/10g13ps/comment/j5061n0/?utm_source=reddit&utm_medium=web2x&context=3 "he certainly doesn’t seem to act that way around other women" Have they seen how he acts with fans (who are complete strangers)? The "red herring" comment sounds like it was copied and pasted from Phoenix too.'' HOLY SHIT I LAUGHED SO HARD I ALMOST PISSED MYSELF. it's so funny to see the contrast between the sane people and the insane ones. the sane ones saying grace has a long term partner and joseph is to this day very active on raya and he's dating around. and then i guess someone alerted the vanquinns and they posted these comments: "I’ve heard that they’ve been spotted together a couple times and supposedly there are pictures. I haven’t seen them for myself, so who knows. As for the NZ guy she’s rumored to be dating, I’ve heard that they’re friends and he’s more of a red herring to keep suspicion off of Joe and Grace. I have know idea if any of this is true or not, it’s just what I’ve heard. Idk about the Joe and raya app stuff either. I will say Joe and Grace do seem close with one another and if true I think they’re super cute!" "He literally has a song named after her on one of his Spotify playlists…" -- this one had the link to joe's spotify and i chose not to share it. but the best part of this is that this comment is being down voted due to the sheer stupidity of it. and everybody is calling them out for sharing the link and for thinking the song is for grace when it literally just says grace at the end and it's grace as in something pure and holy. "Well shit, now that you say something about it it is kinda sus. He kinda gives her special treatment for lack of a better term, he certainly doesn’t seem to act that way around other women. She definitely seems into it too. I’ve never heard of her dating someone else but idk I don’t really know a lot about her." these are the ones that made me laugh out loud. there are a few more because someone alerted the vanquinns to the question the op asked. op wanted to know if there's any tea on joe and grace's friendship. i'm kinda convinced op planned this with other vanquinns. it's funny how desperate they are. these comments are giving 'THE NEW LEGEND OF ZELDA WILL HAVE ALL THE ZELDAS FROM PREVIOUS GAMES, I KNOW THIS BECAUSE MY DAD WORKS AT NINTENDO, OK??' lmao 'i've never heard anything about her dating' and 'joe was on raya only once when that fan shared it on tiktok' are my top favorites. i can feel the desperation from here. oh and get this, they've been spotted together multiple times but there are no photos :/ can you believe that, not a single soul took a picture of the man that is photographed and filmed just for walking around alone, but when he's with grace there are no pictures. also find it funny no one alerted deumaxio or however that shit is spelled, find it very funny that if you search for the reports saying they've been spotted together you'll find nothing. and wait a minute, didn't the vanquinns say they had TONS of pictures of them together but wouldn't share them due to privacy?? and now they're saying there are no pictures?? oh my. i need to wrap this rant and go pee because i can't stop laughing.

Special treatment? Closeness? Then Joe is dating Jamie

You know I’ve been around for a while and in the witch community I’ve seen a lot of things and one of those things are the community’s that show up on discord. I will say this now not all of them are bad but gods do some just want you to bash your head in. Now there is this one server that really got to me and come to find out much later (thanks to my good friends) that server has now been black listed. But let me start this little rant.

Now I was in a server (I’ve been in a lot) but this one server I noticed something about the admin team especially the owner, the co-owner and their friends, they would immediately if something went wrong the owner and the co-owner would throw the other admins under the bus to save face. Must be why they could never keep any admin members for very long…

If you did something small that annoyed their friends gods help you, because you would be kicked and banned from that server in a heartbeat. And when you ask for proof of what you did wrong I hope your ready to be ignored with excuse after excuse of “oh we don’t want it to get any bigger” or “it was only within the friend group”. Like I’m sorry it was not in the friend group you all like bringing in other people.

After all the owner of the server would leave and block people after things didn’t go they way they wanted. You know how many servers and people I saw blocked and blacklisted because the owner didn’t like someone’s opinions or the truth that was given? Way too many to count.

But then again must be why that server and the ones who run it and are apart of the admin team have gotten black listed. Play petty games and win stupid prizes.

My only hope is that who ever joins that server leaves as soon as you can,get out of that server ! Your mental health will only deteriorate faster!!

Talk about eye opening because I thought I made some good friends in there but let’s just say that whole group was ready to stab you in the back especially the owner and co-owner!

Why would anyone need an assault weapon other than to kill someone? Ask the civilians in the Ukraine, or Venezuela, or any number of African countries where warlords rape and pillage… Ask the Civilians anywhere where their Government is a puppet that cannot protect them… Ask the CIVILIANS anywhere where their OWN GOVERNMENT has found the money more enticing from the Cartels and Mobs and other organized CRIMINAL DYNASTIES, than the concept of protecting those that “live” under their rules.

Yes, I sit here as an older American white male, one with a lifestyle that many of the previously mentioned would trade their existence for without hesitation. I was raised between the generations of ALL AMERICAN meaning something to many, to this generation of “tolerance for all, and hope for the best”. I have been outside of these shores, I have seen how even our supposed “allies” treat their own people. Do you think that the citizens of Afghanistan, Pakistan, or Iraq (all countries that our country has tried to help) wouldn’t prefer a fair shake from their leaders, or even police? Hell, I’ve seen racism in our country not only between white and black, or white and Asian, or white and Latino, or black and Asian, or whatever, I’ve seen it between “dark Latino and light Latino” (granted, to me that would seem more of a monetary divide, but the terms and vibe were all but the same), but I digress.

Do we have a MASS MURDER issue in the U.S.? OBVIOULSY, however, I ask you to look at mass suicide bombings, subway attacks, the death tolls nightly in Chicago, Detroit, Oakland, Baltimore, any border town, San , well, pretty much any San on the West coast… Look around the world, death is a human game played by the powers that be. Banning any weapon only means that it will be replaced by the next evolution that will be procured by those with the means and money to acquire. Is that the average citizen? No, it isn’t. Those weapons will be procured by the wealthy, governmental entities, illegal elements, and the ilk.

In an ideal world, where magical fairies and griffins might exist, all weapons might be taken away from those whom would seek to harm others, and we could all live in harmony and peace. THAT WORLD WILL NEVER EXIST! As long as there is any trace of greed, want, religion, desire, or whatnot… never.

The school shootings, the supermarket shootings, the subway shooting, the church shootings, the birthday/graduation party shooting, etc., regardless of the proposed reasons were done by mentally ill, or, at the least, mentally exhausted INDIVIDUALS, who took it upon themselves to believe what information, had been fed to them. Whole countries, or at least the political/religious parties in charge, have essentially, been shown to fall fault to the same conditioning THROUGH OUT HISTORY.

Semi ironically to all of this rant, who, reading this, knows of the name Dennis Butler? Mr. Butler, 37 year old “career criminal”, took an assault weapon to a neighborhood function after being told to slow down his car as children were playing in the area. That was his response to being told to slow down. Yes, I can recognize being told to do something by anyone is aggravating, but anyway. I’ll allow you to go ahead and do your own research if you don’t already know this story. Oh, it happened on 27May2022, like, eight days ago. Don’t bother looking on CNN, CNBC, or Fox news, multiple hits for the name, but nothing about this incident. Oh, after FIVE PAGES of searching on both Yahoo and Google, you will not find any U.S. national coverage for this name either. Fortunately, BBC and, oh, Hindustan times, have the article, along with some regional W VA news sources.

Of Jealousy and Friendship - Pt. 1

Topic number 2 won in the vote to be written next! So without further-a-do, let’s get going!...This ended up being a two part thing. Oh Well. Here’s part one. - B GN! MC Summary: MC makes a lower demon friend who may secretly be hoping for something more than friendship. The Demon Bros are not about to let this happen. Part Two: Here, Epilogue: Here It all started in magical potions. When you first arrived, the course wasn’t so bad since you took it with Beelzebub. The two of you always partnered up; the hour would consist of you jokingly scolding Beel for trying to eat ingredients and making light hearted jokes with one another whenever the teacher turned their back.  But once the second semester started, Beel was moved out of the course as it had gotten too expensive to keep him in a class where most of the subject matter was edible.  Which left you alone and bored in the classroom as the teacher went on and on about Mandrake roots and what they can be used for. You let out a heavy sigh and plopped your forehead onto the desk.  A soft snort came from beside you. You glanced over to see a demon with his feet propped up on his desk staring right back at you out of the corner of his dark green eyes. He smiled at you with a tilt of his head.  “The lectures are a total snooze fest right? I joined this class cause I thought we’d be making potions and causing stuff to explode. Not sitting here twisting our thumbs all day.” 

You bit back a laugh as you worried glanced over at the professor, who was none-the-wiser to the little conversation the two of you were sharing. You looked back over to the demon. His dark skin caused those hauntingly green eyes of his pop out at all who met his gaze, with carefully trimmed and styled black curls sitting stylishly on the top of his head.  There was a playful and mischievous energy to him that reminded you of Belphie, Asmo and Mammon.  “Unfortunately suffering through this section of class is mandatory to be allowed to mess around with the fun stuff.”  The demon groaned and threw his head back. “Urgh, that’s so unfair. What’s the worst that can happen? The potion explodes and kills us? Newsflash teach, we’re already dead.”  You couldn’t help the laugh that slipped out at that one.  “Well actually the worse that could happen, for you at least as I am a very mortal human, is that you’d suffer the consequences from one of the potions. Anything from shrinking to de-aging to charms, all kinds of things. I’ve seen the effects of a potion gone wrong a number of times during my time down here. Trust me; you don’t want to be on the receiving end.”  He looked over at you with an analytical eye as the corners of his lips tilted upwards. “So you’re the human that everyone’s talking about.” He trailed off, and glanced over at the teacher to make sure they weren’t looking before stretching out his hand towards you. “I’m Cane. You know despite being the talk of RAD, I don’t think I’ve ever heard anyone mention your name?”  You took his hand into your own and lightly shook it. “I’m MC.” 

Cane leaned back into his chair, “It’s a pleasure to finally put a name and face to that glowing reputation of yours, MC. I see your pretty good at this potions thing, and I hear that you’re a lot of fun. How about you meet me downtown for supper later and we can study and get to know each other a little better?”  Your initial instinct was to agree, but then you paused as you thought of the brothers. “I don’t know. I don’t think that Lucifer or the others would like it much if I went out on my own.”  The demon huffed and light heartedly rolled his eyes. “You won’t be alone, you’ll be with me. I may not be as powerful as them, but I’m still a pretty good fighter.” He teasingly placed a gentle punch onto your shoulder, “Besides, it’s not like they’re boss of you. Are you really going to let a bunch of snobby Lords keep you from making the best of your time in the Devildom?”  That last remark hit a nerve. If there was one thing that had spread quite quickly about you around RAD, it was that you were known for being a little reckless, prideful, and never being able to back down from a challenge, and boy did that statement have you itching to prove him wrong.  You smiled, a sharp dangerous smile, at Cane. “I’ll go. And we’re going to do so much more than just go to a lame restaurant and study. You want to have fun and take risks? We’ll have fun and take risks. Whatever you want to do...to a degree,” you added in quickly remembering that you were talking to a demon and if you didn’t implement any boundaries there was no telling what you’d get yourself into, “I’m in.”  Cane’s eyes sparkled as his smile widened. “Damn. I guess it’s true that you’re a bit of dare devil. Alright, you’re on. Meet me at Hell’s Kitchen a 4pm. We’ll study and hit the books as promised, but afterwards...Get ready for the night of your life.”  ***

The brothers were concerned. You had rushed into the House of Lamentation after school and sprinted to your room, changed out of your uniform and promptly shouted that you were “going out” before taking off before any of them could complain.  Mammon had tried to argue that someone should follow you, and while that wasn’t a terrible idea, Lucifer wanted to give you the question of the doubt. Worst case scenario, you come back home a little scratched up and learn your lesson about taking off into the dangers of the Devildom.  At least that’s what he had thought when you had initially left.  It was now bordering midnight, and you had yet to return home.  So yeah, the brothers were very concerned.  Mammon was pacing and ranting about how this all could’ve been avoided if they had only listened to him for once.  Leviathan was trying to distract himself with his game, but everyone could see the worried glances he kept throwing to the entrance and clock as the minutes ticked by.  Satan sat near where Mammon and would occasionally scold or correct him, and sometimes even throw in his own ideas on what could be done while he thumbed through a book on location spells.  Asmodeus was strangely quiet, sitting near the fire by himself with arms wrapped around his torso as he stared into the flames. He would occasionally move a hand to wipe at his face before it went right back to hugging himself.  Beelzebub had lost his appetite. He sat next to Belphie, taking comfort in his twin’s presence, while Belphegor pretended to be unbothered and asleep, even though his mind was racing with the many stupid situations you could’ve gotten yourself into.  And Lucifer...He just sat in a door near the entryway, his eyes fixed on the entrance as he silently waited.  Finally, just as the clock stroke midnight, they could hear your recognizable laugh from behind the door.  “Oh my god! That was incredible! I don’t think I’ve ever had so much fun in life!” Leviathan stiffened at the statement, his hands gripping tighter onto his game.  “What did I tell you? I promised you the night of your life, and I sure as Diavolo always make sure to deliver,” everyone froze at the sound of the teasing male voice. “Though I didn’t expect the Seven Lords’ precious human to be a complete bad ass. You were amazing out there.”  Leviathan mumbled something before getting up and leaving the room. Mammon growled lowly and looked at the others, “Anyone know who the hell that is?”  Asmo finally stood, wiping at his face as he did, and began to stride towards the door, “Why don’t we find out?”  Without waiting for a response, Asmodeus swung the door open and pulled on a bright smile as he reached out and wrapped an arm around you. “MC, darling, you didn’t tell me you were bringing over guests! Don’t tell me you’re trying to have fun without me?”  You blinked up at the Asmo before smiling softly at his tactics. “Oh, hey Asmo! I didn’t expect you to be up. Cane here was just dropping me off.”  The demon in question didn’t even so much as stiffen as Asmodeus’s dangerous stare shifted over to him. Instead Cane stood there, relaxed, with a shit-eating grin on his face. Asmodeus raised an eyebrow at him and allowed a bit of his demonic aura to exude around him. “Oh really? At this time of night? Makes a demon wonder what kind of mischief the two of you had gotten up to,” while maintaining eye contact with Cane, Asmo rested his chin against your shoulder. “You know dear, if you wanted “fun” that badly all you had to do was ask. I assure you I could’ve shown you a much better time.” He purred and softly kissed your shoulder.  You shivered, missing the way Asmo stiffened as he noticed something, and swatted at the Avatar of Lust as you moved away from him. “Down Asmo. It’s nothing like that. Cane’s in my magical potions class. We went out to study together and decided to hit a couple clubs while we were out. No biggy.”  “If it’s ‘no biggy’ then why were you out all night without giving us any kind of warning of where you were going or how long you’d be out?” Everyone whirled around as Lucifer stood in the doorway with a frown etched on his face and his arms crossed. He took a step closer to you before freezing mid-step, his nose twitching. His eyes flared red as they fell onto Cane. The lower demon tensed and curled his hands into fists, but seemed to be refusing to back down. Lucifer snarled, “What exactly was it that you said the two of you were up to tonight?”  You frowned and stepped between Lucifer and your new friend. “Hey! Stop it! He didn’t do anything, if that’s what you’re implying. And I wasn’t aware that I needed permission for every single thing that I do!” You snapped poking his chest as you moved into his space. “So excuse me for wanting to go out and enjoy myself for once!”  Whatever fear Cane had been showing, quickly slipped away at seeing you stand your ground against the mighty first born. “Yeah. What they said.”  Lucifer growled and caught your hand into his own, pulling you close and leaning in, “You’d be wise to remember that you are in the Devildom and surrounded by beings that have no where near as good intentions as you’d assume. Being so reckless and naïve down here could get you killed again, I thought you had learned that.” His tone was cold and unapologetic as he practically spat the words in your face.  You glared at Lucifer as you yanked your hand out of his grasp. There was so many things you wanted to say to him, but none of them would be right to say in front of an audience. You huffed and turned to face Cane. “I am so sorry about those two. Thanks again for tonight and bringing me home. I’ll see you tomorrow in class, okay?”  Cane gave you a side smile as he scratched the back of his neck. “It’s nothing. I had a great time hanging out with you. Hopefully we can do again...under better circumstances. Goodnight MC.” He took a step towards you and pulled you into a hug.  You smiled, wondering how Lucifer and Asmo could be stirring up such a fuss about a guy who had been nothing but kind to you, and gently hugged him back.  What you couldn’t see, was Cane making direct eye contact with the two other demons, as one of his wrists gently brushed up and down you back and he very lightly nuzzled, so lightly that you could just barely feel it, his face against your neck.  “Hey, what’s takin’ everyone so- WHAT THE ABSOLUTE FUCK?!” Mammon stormed forward and yanked you out of the demon’s embrace, already changing into his demon form. “Who the hell do you think you are scenting our human, huh?!” He lifted Cane off the ground by the collar of his shirt, causing the lower demon growl as he scratched at Mammon’s hands.  You yanked on Mammon’s jacket and arms and tried to get him to back off. “Woah! Mammon, relax! It was just a hug!”  “No it wasn’t,” Satan grumbled as he and the rest of the brothers (excluding Leviathan who was now sulking in his room) stood in the door way. “The fact that you don’t know that makes this even worst. But this isn’t a conversation we should be having out here.” Beel stared down at the demon with a fierce glare. “You should leave while you’re still able. And if you know what’s best for you, you’ll stay away from MC.”  “Wha- Beel! Cut that out!”  Cane took a step backwards, fear beginning to spill into his expression as he finally realizes just how out-powered and out-numbered he is. Still, he was stubborn pain in the ass; it was part of the reason he had been so drawn to you in the first place as he related to your reckless habits. He held Beelzebub’s glare and returned it with one of his own. “I think that MC can choose for themself who they do and do not hang out with, thanks. They already said they wanted to see me tomorrow so they will. We’re friends after all. And classmates,” his grin sharpened as he continued. “I do have to thank you, Lord Beelzebub, for that opening in magical potions by the way. Never would’ve got in if you hadn’t been kicked out.”  Before he could say anymore, he was met with a punch in the face. Belphegore lazily shook out his hand and his looked at Cane with an unbothered expression. “I believe we told you to leave. Now get. The. Fuck. Out.”  Cane scoffed and turned to you once more. “I guess I’ll see you tomorrow, Dare Devil.”  You would’ve snorted at the nickname, but you were to distracted from the brother’s behavior. “Yeah. I’ll see you tomorrow. Get home safe, Cane.” With another nod, the demon left; leaving you alone with six of the seven brothers bubbling with jealousy, anger, and concern.

Love For The Faceless

Corpse Husband x Youtuber!Reader(Female)

Warnings: Swearing

Genre: Fluff 

Summary: Y/N is a YouTube gamer who has recently gained a much larger following thanks to the streams she does with her friends. Naturally, considering her faceless and bodiless nature, people are starting to get curious about her. When she finally follows her friend Corpse’s example, a lot more than her hands is revealed.

Requested by anon, you know who you are 😉 Thank you so much for placing a request and hope this fic fulfills the expectations you have for it.

“Hey!“ I greet the lobby as I finally hop into the Discord call after quickly saying ‘hi‘ to my audience.

I’ve been a YouTuber for four years now and I’ve only recently started streaming, encouraged to do so by my best friend Rae. She’s the one who got me in multiplayer games such as Among Us and Phasmophobia which led me to meet her amazing gaming squad that consists of some of the most famous names on the platform. They are all wonderful people and I will forever be in Rae’s debt for introducing me to them. However, becoming friends with Felix, Sean and the rest of the team brought not only a more fulfilled life, but also a small boost in following. Who am I kidding, it wasn’t small. It was overwhelming, terrifying even.

My YouTube channel had a little over a million subscribers at the start of quarantine and now....now it’s closer to three million. Speaking of three million, I’m about to reach it any day now and it’s really hard to believe. I’m a gaming youtuber and I’ve never considered changing my genre despite expecting to not get any attention whatsoever, with all the big names on the platform. I was convinced not even as many as a hundred people would stumble across my videos and now here we are.

My OG subscribers are very supportive of my sudden growth and are defending me when my newer fans ask for a face reveal or whatnot. While we’re on that topic I might have to mention that not even my YouTube friends, and that includes Rae have seen my face. I’ve been faceless and bodiless for the entirety of my time on social media. Some claim I do it to grab more attention or for dramatic effect, but the reason is beyond that. I’m not shallow. Actually, shallow people are the reason I don’t show my face. I’ve never been the prettiest, but my middle school bully thought that I wasn’t lacking self confidence enough. As a result, I ended up with a not so handsome scar on my right cheek that starts from the corner of my mouth and nearly misses my eye. Yeah, it’s a long and pretty noticeable scar that has thankfully become less and less obvious as the years have progressed. Still, it’s not something I’d like to show to my viewers.

Eight ‘hi’s greet me back, each making my smile grow wider. “Sorry I’m late guys. Technical difficulties.” 

“Don’t worry.“ Rae’s voice dominates over the rest, “Corpse still isn’t here so we’re waiting for him.“

I mute myself on the Discord call and take a look at my comments. I’m most flattered by the comments about my voice. Seeing as how they don’t have much to compliment about me other than my content, they make the nicest comments about my voice, personality and humor. Those comments are the ones who warm my heart most. Even when people in my day to day life compliment my appearance I can’t find it in me to believe they are being genuine. I’d like to believe these amazing people are being one hundred percent honest when they tell me they like me for who I am and not for what I might look like.

“Sorry I’m late guys.“ A deep voice causes me to even physically jolt, switching my focus from the comments to the Among Us lobby where my eyes land on the newly materialized black avatar.

“Hi Corpse.“ Rae greets him.

“Hello mister who broke Twitter!“ Sean laughs, provoking the laughter of the rest of the players.

“Yeah, congratulations man. That’s a big deal.“ Felix chimes in.

“Thanks guys, but I think you’re forgetting we’re talking about a picture of my hand.“ Corpse chuckles timidly. I have noticed how shy he gets when someone gives him a compliment - like a snail slowly withdrawing in its shell. I find it adorable.

“That’s what makes it even better!“ I unmute my mic, sending my own congratulations.

“While we’re on that topic...“ Rae begins, waiting for the rest of us to shut our traps, suggesting she has something important to say. “Y/N, do you ever plan on doing a reveal like that? Not a face reveal. Just a body part reveal.“

I have no problem talking about the subject with friends but I get nervous when I’m supposed to discuss it with my fans. Seeing as how everyone, including myself, is streaming right now, I get a bit of a stutter in my speech. “Haven’t thought about it yet. But I guess a body part reveal is harmless.” I cringe immediately after letting the words leave my mouth, “That sounds so weird.”

Rae knows that I’m not too fond of my face, but I haven’t told her about my scar yet. I let almost all people I’ve met online think I’m using my lack of appearance for effect. For the mystery of it all. Mysteries attract people which equals attention. Attention equals views and the domino effect continues.

“Just a suggestion. No pressure.“ Rae adds quickly, knowing full well I get anxious when the subject is brought up in front of cameras. “Let’s get this game started, shall we.”

                                                          * * *

The idea dwells in my mind, sitting on the back burner even after I disconnect from the Discord call. I’m sitting in my gaming chair, which was a gift for my two million milestone, and weighing out the pros and cons of the action Rae suggested I take.

“It’s a picture of your fucking hand, dummy. How bad can it turn out?“ I say out loud, shaking my head at my indecisiveness. “You’ll be fine.”

In a blur, two pictures are already posted on my Instagram. The first one captioned ‘Took a leaf from my friend’s book. Did I do it right @ corpsehusband?’ and the second ‘Thanks, Rae. These are on you.’

Rae’s POV

As I’m watching a movie in my living room, I get a notification from Instagram, informing me that Y/N has posted for the first time in a while.

I scoff, “More like the first time in forever.”

The first thing that comes to my mind is the possibility of her reaching that three million milestone that’s been long time coming. I bring the glass of water that’s sitting on my coffee table to my lips, taking a sip as I tap the notification. The picture I see makes me hurry to put the glass back down so I don’t drop it. Y/N’s hand. Her fingers are covered with several thin rings each. And here I thought Corpse had too many rings, this girl has at least two on every finger! 

Then my eyes land on the second picture she has posted only minutes after the first and my heart drops. I struggle to get the water that’s been sitting in my moth down my esophagus while my mind is struggling with the task to comprehend the picture I’m looking at. 

Another hand is resting on top of Y/N’s. A hand also covered in rings but fewer and larger. The nails are painted black. 

I think I know who it belongs to.

Before I can even finish the thought, I’m dialing Y/N. She picks up after the second ring, sound cheery as ever as she greets me. “Hey Rae!”

“Don’t you ‘Hey Rae’ me!” I practically scream. I hate being kept in the dark about anything ever so this is just driving me mad. On top of all, she’s my best friend, for fuck’s sake. “Is that Corpse in the photo with you?!”

“Ugh....“ the cheeriness to her voice is all but gone now.

I go on with my rant, not giving her the time to reply. Not that she would reply. I bet she doesn’t know what to say. “So he knows where you live?! Or was the picture taken at his place?! He knows what you look like?! You have seen him! He has seen you in real life but me, your best friend, haven’t!!! You are breaking Covid 19 protection laws to take pictures?! Are you fucking serious, Y/N?!”

There’s a long moment of silence which frustrates me even more but I literally have run out of things to yell and the power to be angry. I mean, I still am, I just can’t express it.

“Rae, sweetheart, please calm down. You’re scary when you’re mad.“ This girl has some fucking nerve! She’s on the verge of laughing!

“Listen here you...“ 

“Rae, please stop scaring my girlfriend.“ That oh so distinguishable, oh so familiar voice interrupts me.

I am flabbergasted, for a lack of a better term.

“Now that we’ve got you quiet, I can explain.“ Y/N pics up the conversation, “Corpse and I have been dating for six, almost seven months now. We started dating around Easter after talking for quite some time. We moved in together at the end of September. All thanks to you, Rae. You’re the best.” She pauses to breathe in real quick, “There, all caught up?“

I’m in no less shock than I was before she explained. Actually, I think I might be even more confused now. It all just feels like a fever dream. “Yes...no. I don’t fucking know! I need details, Y/N!”

“Details later.“ Corpse makes his presence known once again, “We’re watching Family Guy right now. Talk to you later.“

“Love you, Rae!“ Y/N calls out before the line goes dead.

My arm goes limp, dropping my phone on the couch next to me. 

“Motherfuckers” I mumble under my breath.

Y/N’s POV

It’s been a week since Rae has stopped talking to both Corpse and me. I know she just needs some time to cool off. In the meantime, the rest of our friends were informed and, as oppose to Rae, were nothing but supportive and overjoyed. I bet Rae feels the same way though. Sean, Dave and the rest of the gang have confirmed that she’s incredibly happy for us and says she noticed a spark between me and him since day one, but she can’t help but be mad at us, and especially me, for not telling her sooner.

“Any regrets?“ I remember Corpse asking me when we hung up on her after dropping the bomb.

“Not being able to see her face when she saw the picture.“ I beam at him, feeling as content as ever.

He laughs, agreeing with me before leaning down to kiss me.

@susceptible-but-siriusexual  @simonsbluee  @save-the-sky  @hacker-ghost  @itsminniekat  @bi-andready-tocry  @imtiredaffff  @jazzkaurtheglorious  @hereforbeebo  @fandomgirl17  @chrysanthykios

FNAF Ramble - Eclipse aka Glitch Sun

Just a lil ramble, based on something FNAF on my mind for a while

Eclipse aka Glitch Sun.

Eclipse is a popular fan name for people's characterization of mixing Sun and Moon together as one as their own creation, but is also the name some go by for what is also called Glitch Sun.

Aka the results of beating the Balloon World arcade game hidden in their room in the daycare. I don't think there is any OFFICIAL actual name for it, but I'm gonna go by Eclipse for my ramble, just to keep things simple.

In the arcade game you play as Balloon Boy gathering items to stay afloat in a never ending game where you are just supposed to last as long as possible. While catching glitches will change the game entire. Where the proper game cycles through day and night, with Sun and Moon's faces on the sky, in the glitch world you see Eclipse, aka Glitch Sun, a dark face in the sky not going through day night cycle like the main game, eluding to it being a fusion of the two. And has the 'proper' ending for the arcade game, as it has a limited run rather than in Balloon World that'll just keep going until you lose.

Doesn't seem to unlock anything to beat beyond an achievement and a couple of items you find in the room with no effects on the game itself, like the Princess Games that you have to beat for a true ending.

What I like to think, and I've seen some others think too, the entity in this glitched version of Balloon World IS indeed THE Eclipse proper. But what IS Eclipse?

Considering the way Fazbear Entertainment treat their property, whether it's broken or not, I think this is an example of them decommissioning a project under development but never get around to scrap it. The company never throws anything away, it just dumps in a pile in case they might be able to recycle it to save a couple of bucks later. A lack of Balloon Boy as a character in the pizzaplex, eludes he probably got decommissioned after deciding he wasn't worth merchandizing, although still having an arcade game made for him. Which probably got dumped somewhere in the basement with all the other trash. Where is Balloon Boy himself? No idea, he was in the past theorized to not even be an animatronic to begin with, based on how his model was built. He's not as important to this rant.

What's important is... why is Sun and Moon in his trashed game and why do they have it stashed away in their room? We see other trash, like random toys and parts of broken robots. Making me think they probably put the arcade there themselves after digging it out of the trash in the basement, like the other stuff you seen strewn around.

Is it because it's the only thing they were featured in outside the daycare, besides a few items in the giftshop? I think... the glitching of the game is because Eclipse doesn't belong in it.

Just like robots and merch, even games and AI can get scrapped by the company. Maybe eclipse was an early AI experimented with, but glitched too much to make it work and got scrapped. But to save time when having to start from scratch, what lines of code DID work got picked up and later used to develop Sun and Moon.

Making Eclipse the prototype to the two of them. Reason it appears in the game arcade was because, as we seen times before, the company is very sloppy when it comes to scrapping broken things. As we see the further into the basements the player goes in the game. Eclipse found a place to hide with all its broken codes, left forgotten in an old arcade left to be scrapped. Does Sun and Moon know this? Did Moon fall over this arcade during his roaming at night? Was he able to realize Eclipse is an AI like him? His prototype? Could they communicate somehow?

Why else would they have dragged the arcade and hide it away in their room? Other than just going "Neat, we are featured in this thing." Since they also stashed their own plushie merch in their room, along with drawings from the children. Besides the other merch and random toys and items strewn about. 

They left the arcade machine powered on, after all, no idea if they play it during down time or something. Or to keep Eclipse powered. 

I know this ain't a new thought, I just wanna share it to get it off my mind, cuz FNAF always ads in a bunch of secrets for fans to stew over.

And I love find the Daycare Attendant to be my favorite and current hyperfixation of the franchise. Fun to wonder and explore about a character with such a short appearance in the larger game. 

Anyways, just MY take on Eclipse, thanks for going through my ramble.