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#Obey me beelzebub
slutifer · 3 days
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Solomon: mc isn’t feeling well, so how ‘bout i take over their cooking duty tonight?
Lucifer: is that a fuckin’ threat
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l-mint-l · 3 days
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h-y-dontatme · 2 days
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Completed pieces, as promised.
Two down, two to go.
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treasureofmammon · 3 days
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💙💛🧡 A crush on the seven 💚🩷❤️💜
👥️Characters: Lucifer x gn!reader, Mammon x gn!reader, Leviathan x gn!reader, Satan x gn!reader, Asmodeus x gn!reader, Beelzebub x gn!reader, Belphegor x gn!reader, Solomon.
⚠️Warnings: Multiple crushes, polygamous. Funny stuff.
📝 Note: Incorrect quote. Dialogue made by me.
✨️💖💛✨️💖💛✨️💖💛✨️💖💛✨️💖💛✨️💖💛✨️
Solomon: So, MC... who out of these seven do you have a crush on?
MC: Mammon...
Mamms: Ha! Hell yeah!
MC: ... and Lucifer...
Luci: What?
Mamms: WHAT?!
MC: ... and Levi...
Levi: Wh-What?!
Mamms: WHAT?!!
MC: ... and Satan...
Satan: ... I don't know how to feel about this.
Mamms: Hold up!! HOLD UP!!
MC: ... and Beel...
Beel: I have a crush on you, too, MC.
Belphie: I'm glad for you, Beel.
Mamms: STOP! Ya're not gonna name all of my brothers, are ya?! MC?!
MC: ... and Belphie...
Belphie: I have a crush on you as well, MC.
Beel: I'm glad they have a crush on you too, Belphie.
Mamms: STOOOOP!! STOP! STOP!! Ya're killin' me.
MC: ... and obviously, Asmo.
Mamms: I'm dead, ya just killed me.
Asmo: OH! MC! I have a huge crush on you, too! Although... I totally get you, MC. How could you choose?
MC: Exactly.
...
Solomon: Doesn't anyone else think it's weird Asmo said that about his brothers?
✨️💖💛✨️💖💛✨️💖💛✨️💖💛✨️💖💛✨️💖💛✨️
[Notes: The character(s) depicted here belong to the mobile game "Obey me: shall we date" and are owned by Solmare Corporation. The text here was made by me: Treasure of Mammon, meaning these are fan-made. | GN!Reader | English is not my first language, so there might be orthographic and syntax errors. I urge you all to interact kindly with this post].
📌 Masterlist
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inhuman-obey-me · 3 days
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4000 Follower Masterlist
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Here are all of the prompts we answered for the 4000 Follower Event!
Thank you to everyone who sent one in and for all your patience as we took a bit longer to get the last few done! Apologies if we didn't get to your request -- we appreciate you all!
You can also read all of them on AO3 here.
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Asmodeus + MC - "I saw a little thing I didn't like you tried to hide."
Asmodeus - "You look better when you’re running away."
Asmodeus - "If you really want to go, I’ll come with you."
Barbatos + MC - "I feel a sickness for a home I've never been."
Barbatos + MC - "I saw a little thing I didn’t like you tried to hide."
Beelzebub + MC - "Can't fight these cravings in the night."
Beelzebub + MC - "Let the knife leave its mark."
Belphegor + MC - "Don’t you worry about your bad dreams, ‘cause I’m not in them."
Belphegor + MC - "I’m the creature that haunts your mind."
Diavolo + MC - "I saw a little thing I didn’t like you tried to hide."
Diavolo + MC - "What good is this 'great power' of mine? Absolutely everything slips through my fingers."
Leviathan - "I feel a sickness for a home I've never been."
Leviathan + MC - "If you really want to go, I’ll come with you."
Lucifer - "Let the knife leave its mark."
Lucifer - "I can't seem to forget the halo that I used to see."
Lucifer + MC - "I feel a sickness for a home I've never been."
Lucifer - "I’m the creature that haunts your mind."
Mammon + MC - "Don’t you worry about your bad dreams, ‘cause I’m not in them."
Satan + MC - "Won't you show me your weakness?"
Simeon + MC - "Embrace the shadow following behind."
Solomon - "I've never found a way to be honest."
Solomon + MC - "What good is this 'great power' of mine? Absolutely everything slips through my fingers."
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sheeprad · 2 days
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[Beelzebub while Mc is on earth]
Satan: Hey, Beel
Beel: Mc used to call me that…
Satan:
Satan: Because that’s your fucking name.
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ghyulia · 17 hours
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𝗢𝗯𝗲𝘆 𝗠𝗲 𝗕𝗿𝗼𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗿𝘀! 𝗪𝗵𝗲𝗻 𝗧𝗵𝗲𝘆 𝗙𝗶𝗻𝗱 𝗢𝘂𝘁 𝗧𝗵𝗲𝘆’𝗿𝗲 𝗬𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗧𝘆𝗽𝗲 𝗽𝟮!
p1 | p2
‹𝟹 ft. Satan & Beelzebub
sorry for any grammar mistakes!!
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𝗦𝗮𝘁𝗮𝗻
𐙚 . He's pretty surprised. Satan knows that he's pretty attractive, but he doesn't have the best of qualities. He genuinely thinks you would fare better with someone who isn't as.. short-fused as him. He appreciates your feelings, of course! He's so madly in love with you
𐙚. Satan resolves not to mention it or make an appearance at the moment as quietly makes his way back to his room. He doesn't think you noticed him.
𐙚. Little did he know, you managed to catch a glimpse of a blonde head swiftly disappearing from behind the door. You knew he heard you and chose not to say anything or make himself known. This threw you for a loop. Did he like you? Did he try to flee the scene in hopes that you wouldn't notice him because he didn't feel that way about you?! All of these thoughts were weighing you down.
𐙚. After a few hours, you finally decided to man up and pay him a visit. It wasn't unusual for you to visit him at this time, since you both usually liked to read while occasionally talking about events that transpired through the day.
𐙚. You knock twice. "Satan?"
"Oh, (Name)." "Come in."
You warily open the door, all your confidence from a few minutes ago dissipating. It's now or never, anyway. You swallow your fear.
"How was your day?" You say. "It was pretty normal. Remember that book from the human world that piqued my interest? It finally came in. I was pretty excited to read it, but I thought it might be better to wait for you. I got a little impatient and read the first few pages, though...I hope that's fine." "Hey, (Name), you seem really tense. Is everything all right?" Satan points out.
"Huh? ..Oh yeah. I'm good..I'm super excited to read the book, too!" You force out. He really is acting like he didn't hear what you said. You were starting to get frustrated, and Satan could notice it too.
"Seriously, (Name). What's up with you?" Satan inquires, confusion written all over his face. His beautiful face. That stupid face!! That face to the body of a stupid demon who's acting like he didn't stupidly hear your confession of love (it wasn't even really a confession..)! That tipped you over the edge.
"What's up with me is that I said you were my type! You were there! You were there....and now you're pretending not to have heard me! That obviously means you don't like me, or at least not enough to mention it! It makes me feel so stupid, Satan. So, so unbelievably stupid. And I know it's not your fault, but sometimes I feel like what we do is pretty intimate, you know?! I mean when we read in your room I'm basically on top of you. A guy who doesn't like me should at least have the decency to stop me from making a fool out of myself. He should push me off him! I really like you, but you obviously don't reciprocate, so you should at least say somet-"
Your ramble is abruptly halted with a short, sweet peck on your cheek. You tilt your head a little to face the Cynical Fourth born, whose ears are fully crimson.
"Y-You.."
"(Name), I'm sorry. I didn't... really know how to bring it up. I told myself that I would later, after we got comfortable. Of course I'm into you. Who wouldn't be? You're amazing, funny, and kind, and you never fail to bring a smile to my face. I'm always quick to anger, as you know..but around you, I always find myself striving to be a better person. You keep me in check. I'm not just into you... I know for a fact that.. ᵗʰᵃᵗ ⁱ..ˡᵒᵛᵉ ʸᵒᵘ." He barely mumbles out the last part. Your smile grows wider and wider, before you all but pounce on the demon.
"I guess that would make us the perfect pair because I feel the exact way about you, 'Tan!"
Satan's smile is the widest you've ever seen. He doesn't know what the future has in store for him, but he knows that as long as you are by his side, there will be nothing he can't overcome.
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𝗕𝗲𝗲𝗹𝘇𝗲𝗯𝘂𝗯
𖦹 He doesn't understand. He's your ideal type of what? He doesn't get it, so he just ignores the statement for a while and continues doing his daily activities.
𖦹 A few hours later, the thought of what you said resurfaces, and while filming his new DevilTube workout video with Asmodeus, Beel decides to ask what it means to be someone's "Ideal type." Once Asmo explains what it means and he finally understands and fully processes what you meant by the statement, he goes fully red. He's so embarrassed he didn't get that earlier. But at the same time, he's ecstatic. You're his type too!
𖦹 Poor guy can't even focus on his workout video. He wraps it up as quickly as possible, leaving Asmo with the editing, and makes a beeline for your room. He stops halfway.
𖦹 He's sweating like a pig...It would probably be best to freshen up before confronting you about what you said. He makes a mad dash to the shower, freshens up quickly, and then hastily makes his way to your room.
"(Name)? You in there?"
"Yeah! Come in, the door is unlocked." Your voice was muffled. "Sorry, I'm looking for a potions book Solomon lent to me. What's up? Asmo was texting the group chat about how you abandoned your "Deviltuber Duties"..or something," You giggled, still not facing him.
"Earlier..You said I was your ideal type. I didn't know what it meant, so I ignored it, but I know what it means now.." Beel confesses.
You freeze. "You heard that?!" You quickly turn around. You felt like all the blood you had in your human body was rushing straight to your face. Your eyes meet his, and you finally realize that the 6'4 demon's face is also decorated in a deep shade of red. You guys are practically matching at this point!
"(Name)... You should probably know that you're my type too. You've always accepted me and my brothers. You still treated Belphie with kindness even after the rough start you two had. I admired that about you. I'm okay with sharing my food if it's you. I've always thought you were amazing ever since the day you stood up for me and Luke. You didn't waver in front of Lucifer, who can be really scary at times...and it made me feel so warm. My feelings only grew from there."
You tear up a little. "Beel, you're so amazing. I don't know what I did to deserve someone like you."
"I think it's the other way around, (Name)." Beel leaves a chaste kiss on your lips and engulfs you in a warm hug.
The Gluttonous seventh-born knows he'll continue to treasure you forever. Beelzebub had never paid any mind to the sun at first because it never shined in the Devildom, but you changed that. You exuded light and radiance from the moment he met you. You were the sun. His sun. He's just so happy that he gets to be the one closest to your heart. You smile and indulge in his embrace, the potions book long forgotten.
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a/n: ahhh it's done!! sorry for the wait omg :(( I'm thinking of what to write ab next but I hope ygs enjoyed this one! oh if anyone has any ideas on what I shld write abt next pleaseee lmk haha :)
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stellariah · 1 day
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comforting you when you have a bad day — headcanons
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⊹ word count: 100 words (ish)/character ⊹ content: sfw, reader/MC is referred to as you/your, fluffy comfort. ⊹ warnings: none. ⊹ a/n: I hope you enjoy these very self-indulgent headcanons. Sorry - no Mephisto, Raph, or Thirteen. I don't feel I know them enough to write them well!
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LUCIFER He'll do whatever he can to make the rest of your day easier. If anyone knows how upsetting it is to have more things piling up on your to-do list when you're already having a rough day, it's Lucifer – so all of those little things that pop up, he'll take care of before you even notice. Solomon set the kitchen on fire? Dealt with before you even got a whiff of smoke. Leviathan summoned Lotan in the bathroom again? If anything, you noticed the bathtub was absolutely spotless when you went to wash up at the end of the day. It's almost unsettling how smoothly the rest of the day goes. And just before you go to sleep, your D.D.D. pings.
Luci: Goodnight, my love. Get some rest so tomorrow can get off to a better start.
MAMMON
He knows something is up immediately. You could be the most stoic person in the universe, but Mammon would feel the change in your mood. He's not the best at talking through feelings, so he does what he does best: he'll stay close. Expect lots of little loving touches, if you're into it – resting his hand on the small of your back when you're walking, tangling your fingers with his when you're sitting together, a random back hug, a little peck on your cheek. He'll be blushing for the rest of the day. And if you're not into it, he'll just physically stay close to you. He'll also be extra protective - so help anyone that sours your mood further.
LEVIATHAN
Leviathan will distract you. He'll invite you to his room as soon as he's able to for an anime night or a gaming session or a manga reading party. He won't let you out of his sight (if he can!). He's very sensitive to shifts in your mood and behaviour, so he'll be sneaking little glances at you constantly so he can get a read on how you're feeling. If what you're doing together doesn't seem to help you feel better, he'll shift to something else. And if all of his usual tactics fail, he'll just ask you what would help. Levi isn't straightforward often, but when you're hurting, he'll work through his anxiety so he can do whatever helps you most.
SATAN
He'll be your shoulder to cry on, your listening ear, and your personal counselor, if you want and need all three. Satan knows how relieving it can be to just let it out, so if you need some comfort while you cry or scream or throw things around, he's your guy. He's also the best listener of the brothers, so if you're someone who needs to talk it out, he's there for that, too. And if you want some advice on whatever if troubling you, expect him to give you some very rational, carefully thought-out ideas on what to do. Like Levi, Satan would just ask you what you need and be that for you to the best of his ability.
ASMODEUS
Asmodeus has an emergency care kit prepared for you for days like this. Whatever you're usually up for along the lines of “self-care”, he'll have them pre-packed in a cute little box for you. Face masks, bath bombs, some good books or journals, your favourite songs or movies, a mani/pedi set – whatever you need to unwind, he's got it. If you want him around to relax together, he's got two fluffy bathrobes and sets of cosy pajamas ready to go. If you'd rather relax on your own, he'll drop off your care package at your door with a loving note tucked under the ribbon on the lid. It breaks his heart to see you sad and he hopes this little gesture of love helps you feel better.
BEELZEBUB
Like Lucifer, Beel just wants to make your day easier, but he'll be more upfront about it. He wants to make it obvious that he cares about you. With your permission, he'll carry your books and bag between classes or on the way home for you. He'll offer to take on your chores for the day. He'll run those pesky errands for you. He'll even help you with your homework if that would be helpful! Of course, you can also expect lots of snacks offered to you and meals brought to you. Would he peel an orange for you? Without a doubt. Beelzebub doesn't want your health taking a hit because of a really tough day, so he'll offer to help you take care of yourself.
BELPHEGOR
Belphegor knows that sometimes the best way to feel better after an exceptionally tough day is to have a really good sleep. He'll set up the most luxurious, plush nap nook you've ever seen just for you (and maybe him, too, if you're okay with having a nap together). All his favourite pillows and blankets and plushies are carefully arranged for maximum comfort. If you want, he'll cuddle you until you fall asleep, softly stroking your back to help you along. And if sleep continues to evade you, he'll make you a soothing tea or read you a book or even give you a gentle massage to encourage your body to rest.
DIAVOLO
You have had a huge impact on the Seven Lords, and on the Devildom as a whole, so it both hurts and concerns Diavolo to see you feeling low. Though he has an exceptionally busy schedule, Diavolo would make time so you can spend time together. While you're together, Dia will do whatever he can to make you smile or laugh, using his bright, jovial personality to its fullest. You can also expect a ton of reassurance and praise – he'll offer you little affirmations about how amazing you are and how much you mean to all of them (to him, especially).
BARBATOS
Barbatos is an expert in care by nature of his work, so he is the most equipped to care for you on your toughest days. He'll have whatever you need in less than the time it takes to exhale. He'll be extra attentive to you around routines, like getting ready for school or work or winding down for the day. Need help tidying your hair before you leave? Barbatos is an expert in hair care, step into his home salon. Don't have the energy to make a lunch? No worries, he's already packed one for you and dinner will be waiting for you when you get home. He may be the best masseuse in the universe, too, so if you're up for it, he'll give you a full body massage before you go to sleep.
SIMEON
Out of everyone, Simeon will be the most distressed by you having a hard day, but (other than maybe Satan) he'll be the most calm when trying to help you feel better. His presence is naturally soothing, so just having him around is enough to lift your mood a little. He'll stay close for as long as you want. Simeon is an ask, don't assume kind of person – he doesn't want to do things he thinks you'll find helpful and overstep. Instead, he waits for you to directly ask for help and watches you closely for non-verbal indicators of things he can do that he knows you'll appreciate.
SOLOMON
Solomon has a hard time sorting out his own emotions and recognizes he may not be the best to help you sort out yours, but he wants to help somehow. So, he drops little gifts for you. That pastry you were eyeing the other day at the bakery is waiting for you on your desk with a cute doodle on a sticky note beside it. A paper airplane lands on your desk and it unfolds into a sweet love note (bonus laugh when you watch Sol getting scolded by your professor). The newest book from your favourite Human World author is wrapped up (badly) and tucked under your pillow. He just wants you to know he's always thinking of you.
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©stellariah 2024 | do not copy, repost, translate, or feed my work to AI
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devildomwriter · 17 hours
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May I have the 100 facts about ___ character lists in a masterlist? I really want to read the ones other then i have already read but I can't find them all. Love your blog
Absolutely! Here’s what I have so far
Lucifer
Mammon
Leviathan (TBA)
Satan
Asmodeus (TBA)
Beelzebub
Belphegor (TBA)
Solomon
Simeon
Raphael
Luke (TBA)
Michael (50)
Thirteen (TBA)
Mephistopheles (TBA)
Barbatos
Diavolo
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robin-birb · 3 days
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Rabbit hole
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Evil 😈🐰
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slutifer · 3 days
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touch tank
𝗆𝖺𝗆𝗆𝗈𝗇 𝗑 𝖿𝖾𝗆 𝗆𝖼
𝗐𝖺𝗋𝗇𝗂𝗇𝗀𝗌: 𝗌𝗆𝗎𝗍 (𝖬𝖣𝖭𝖨) 𝗈𝗋𝖺𝗅 (𝖿𝖾𝗆 𝗋𝖾𝖼𝖾𝗂𝗏𝗂𝗇𝗀), 𝗉𝗋𝖺𝗂𝗌𝖾, 𝖺𝖿𝖺𝖻 𝗀𝖾𝗇𝗂𝗍𝖺𝗅𝗂𝖺 wc: 1068 𝗇𝗈𝗍𝖾: 𝖾𝗏𝖾𝗋𝗒 𝗍𝗂𝗆𝖾 𝗂 𝗁𝖾𝖺𝗋 𝗍𝗁𝗂𝗌 𝗌𝗈𝗇𝗀 (𝗍𝗈𝗎𝖼𝗁 𝗍𝖺𝗇𝗄 𝖻𝗒 𝗊𝗎𝗂𝗇𝗇𝗂𝖾), 𝗂 𝗍𝗁𝗂𝗇𝗄 𝗈𝖿 𝗆𝖺𝗆𝗆𝗈𝗇 😰 𝗂 𝗃𝗎𝗌𝗍 𝗁𝖺𝖽 𝗍𝗈 𝗐𝗋𝗂𝗍𝖾 𝗂𝗍,, 𝗍𝗁𝖺𝗇𝗄 𝗒𝗈𝗎 𝖿𝗈𝗋 𝗋𝖾𝖺𝖽𝗂𝗇𝗀, 𝖾𝗇𝗃𝗈𝗒!! ♡
·ï¡÷¡ï··ï¡÷¡ï· ·ï¡÷¡ï··ï¡÷¡ï· ·ï¡÷¡ï··ï¡÷¡ï··ï¡÷¡ï··ï¡÷¡ï· ·ï¡÷¡ï··ï¡÷¡ï· ·ï¡÷¡ï··ï¡÷¡ï· ·ï¡÷¡ï··ï¡÷¡ï·
‘cause he’s so pretty when he goes down on me gold-skinned eager baby, blue shirt out the laundry he tells me he’s gentle when he wants to be so i think he wants to be gentle with me
mammon's eyes glistened as he slowly scanned your face. his thumb traced your lower lip, cupping your chin with a touch so delicate, it was as though you were the most precious gem.
he finally had you alone, quite a rare occasion in the house of lamentation, and he was relishing in it. his greed burned aglow in his chest, the flame being stoked by your warmth radiating through the small distance between your body and his.
you giggled softly at the love struck look on his face and teased his thumb with a swipe of your tongue, his cheeks instantly heating up at the action.
"d-don't tease me, mc." his flustered voice was soft but it seeped through the still air in his room, raising goosebumps on your arms.
you pushed his thumb past your lips, smiling around it and wrapped your fingers around his wrist, holding him in place. he inhaled a sharp breath at your obvious beckoning, pushing his thumb lightly against the press of your tongue.
his tongue peeked out through his lips, dampening them quickly before he removed his thumb from your mouth. you pouted dramatically at the loss of his digit only for mammon to gently push your body down. he hovered above you with his hands pressed against his bed on either side of your head. you took the opportunity to make room for him to slot himself between your legs and he groaned in response, almost instantly laying into your body.
his face found its place in the crook of your neck where he left lingering, open mouth kisses and soft bites.
"so beautiful," he mumbled against your neck.
your hands wrapped around him, pulling his body even closer. he responded most eagerly and pushed his body further into yours, grinding himself against your heat.
"and all for m-me, fuck-" he moaned breathily.
his mouth found yours in a firm kiss, his tongue pushing past your lips. the urgency of his mouth juxtaposed the feather-like caress of his hands traveling from your cheeks, to your neck, and down to your chest. mammon's fingers grazed over your clothed nipple, sending a shiver down your spine. he swallowed your moans as he teased your sensitive nub, responding with his own whimpers when you pressed your own pelvis onto his hardness.
"need to taste ya, treasure." he mumbled against your lips. you moaned in response, your hands tugged lightly on his feathery white hair.
"words, darlin', i need to hear ya." he urged, his fingers trailing down to the elastic of your shorts.
"yes, yes. please, mammon." you bit down on his lip softly.
"good girl," he smirked, pecking your swollen lips once more before he sat up, pulling your shorts and underwear off in one swift movement.
he wasted no time as he positioned his head between your legs, nearly salivating at the sight before him.
"so wet for me already," his breath fanned over your sensitive core and your pussy clenched around nothing, your hands gripping the sheets. he began kissing your inner thighs, slowly inching his way to your wetness.
"ah, m-mammon?" you stutter out, your body shuddering, responding to his lips dragging against your inner thigh.
"yeah, baby?" mammon peeks up at you, eyes glazed over, pupils blown out. he tilts his head, lightly leaning it against your thigh.
"you're so pretty." your voice barely above a whisper, his blush deepened.
"you drive me crazy," a small smile graced his exquisite features. he placed his hands on either side of your thighs pushing your legs further apart, dipping his head down and placing an open mouth kiss to your clit. your body arched off of the bed, hips rising slightly with a rippling pleasure.
your hands shot up, burying themselves in his hair once again. he chuckled lightly before gently sucking on the bundle of nerves. you could no longer control the sounds that escaped your throat as he ran a finger through your folds before pushing two of them into your dripping core. your eyes flutter shut, teeth gritting as he curved his fingers, hitting the sweetest spot.
he began fucking you with his fingers as he focused on lapping up your wetness greedily.
"eyes open. look at me, baby.” he pushed his fingers in roughly, forcing your eyes to snap open. whimpering, you perched yourself up on your elbows and looked down at the beautiful man between your thighs. his hair had become disheveled, strands hanging over his forehead as his frenzied eyes connected with yours.
the sight of mammon between your legs - fingers fucking into you, his mouth expertly working your pussy - was overwhelming, pressure began to build in your lower stomach.
"m-mammonnn," you moaned, unable to think straight, "baby, i'm s-so clo-ose!" you nearly squealed, fingers tightening their grip on his hair, pulling his soaked face closer.
he sped up his movements, the pressure continued to build in your body, your pussy clenching harder around his fingers.
mammon could've cum right then - your voice, your body, your everything. his eyes never left yours, taking in the sight of your fucked out face, tits bouncing as he pressed his fingers into you. you were his human, all his.
you took my breath away so now i can’t suck in my stomach around you anymore
“cum for me, baby.” he moaned against your wetness. the vibrations of his voice pulsed through you and almost as though a switch flipped inside of you, you screamed out, throwing your head back as you reached your orgasm. sparks went off all over your body, stars blurring your vision. your body tightened around mammon's fingers as you rode out your release, heart pounding against your ribcage.
he placed a delicate kiss on your thigh, removing his fingers. you sucked in a light breath through your teeth at the sudden emptiness, watching as mammon sucked his fingers into his mouth.
"all mine." he smirked, leaning down and pressing his lips to yours. you moaned at the taste of yourself on him, sitting up and pushing him onto his back. mammon's eyes were wide, his mouth slightly agape.
"my turn." you smiled devilishly, straddling his hips.
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Kalim: A hollow tummy makes for hollow thoughts, you see. Kalim: Why don't you join us for a banquet? Beelzebub: Really? Jamil, internally: FUCK!
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Y'all gone hate it here.
Diavolo and the boys have been turned human while in the human realm, cause unknown, and they just so happen to be in Florida with a southern MC who has to babysit while Barbatos and Lucifer search for a way to reverse it:
The boys holding a fruit they found: These look delicious!
They go to take a bite, but MC interrupts them: BOYS! Where did y'all get those?!
Startled, they nearly drop the fruits, turning to see an irritated MC.
Diavolo: What's wrong?
MC: Now, dadgummit, have y'all eaten them yet?
Mammon, confused: No...
MC: Throw them away right now.
Beel: But it smells really good...
MC: That is from a manchineel tree.
Belphie: And?
MC: That fruit is called a manzanilla de la muerte.
Levi: You speak spanish?
MC: I went to public school. I didn't have a choice.
Belphie: But what the hell does it mean?
MC: Uhh, "little apple of death." Boys, y'all are human for the moment, so the entire tree will kill you. It's the most dangerous tree on the planet.
Asmo: What?
MC: The fruit is toxic, the sap is toxic, the bark is toxic.
Satan: and their native to Florida?
MC, exasperated, hoping Barb and Luci will return soon: Yes. The sap is so poisonous that the smallest contact can cause horrible blisters. It can cause you to go blind, so can the smoke if you choose to burn the bark. You can't even stand under the dang tree while it rains in case the raindrops collect any sap on the way down.
Mammon: Well, why can't you just eradicate them?
MC: Oh, honey, their endangered! We protect 'em.
Levi: What? You protect a killer tree?
MC: Well, they fight beach erosion.
Satan: So what happens when there's a thunderstorm and you're beside this tree?
MC: You stand out in the storm I guess.
Diavolo: That doesn't sound safe at all.
MC: Oh, it ain't cause your close to lightning alley too.
Asmo: Excuse me? Lightning Alley?
MC: Mhmm. We see the highest frequency of cloud to ground lighting strikes more than any other area in the continent of the United states.
Satan: So you're telling us we have to choose between the reverse tree of life and electrocution?
MC: Oh, welcome to Florida, baby. I believe I told y'all before the Devildom is a vacation from this fine state. Y'all gone hate it here.
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luvcryo · 2 days
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Obey Me! Cooking HC's
Obey Me! Brothers x Chef!Gn!Reader
Not proofread!! So probably a couple grammar mistakes
A/n: i think this is my first actual post for obey me?? Anyways I'm turning 17 FINALLY I feel like I've been 16 for like 4 years.
Lucifer
-Once he finds out how good you are he puts in charge of meals
-He is NOT good at cooking, but he doesn't want to admit it
-Sometimes he watches you cook in the kitchen under the guise of making sure the brother's (who always ask to help just cause they wanna spend time with you) don't burn the house down
Mammon
-Praises you at every chance he gets
-Brags for you a lot
-You'll be eating at some restaurant, and he'll be like, "we all know you would make this dish way better than these guys"
-Very loud about it too
-Asks you the difference between a liquid and dry measuring cup
Leviathan
-Like Lucifer, also kind of a lurker in the kitchen
-Unlike Lucifer, though, he eventually does ask you to teach him to cook
-Honestly though he's not that bad of a cook
-He listens pretty well, so he's actually a good assistant in the kitchen
Satan
-One of the best cooks out of the brothers
-Also the first one to offer to help you in the kitchen
-All of the brother's copied his idea, and then he got mad at them because of how often they'd mess up
-(Mammon was upset he wasn't the "first" to do something with you for once)
Asmodeus
-Cooking streams!!
-He convinced you to do a stream with him where you teach him to cook something
-Tries to get you to start your own channel
-Cannot follow a recipe.
-Starts throwing random ingredients in that he thinks might be good without you noticing
Beelzebub
-Hes the best cook out of the brothers
-Its not really something he prides himself on
-You assumed that he was a good cook
-But then he offered to help you one day, and you were like
-Omg?? Why didn't you tell me you were this good before??
-He still prefers your cooking though
Belphegor
-Learned a little bit of cooking from Beel but he's honestly a very average baker
-Like he can make a mean sandwich and has a couple favorite recipes that he's mastered
-But ask him to make a basic chili??
-He has no idea
-Decent at following instructions just don't give him any task that includes manual labor or he'll quit immediately
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4belphie · 2 days
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the real reason beel fell from heaven
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