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pierregazly · 3 months

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always the prize, always the winner ꨄ logan sargeant smau

logan sargeant x pop star!reader

in which logan is actually pretty okay with being known as the biggest pop star in the world's arm candy. who would complain about that, really?

yourusername

liked by logansargeant, lilymhe, oscarpiastri, and 4,539,209 others

yourusername back doing what i do best!! (watching this handsome man get asked solely about me in interviews and then singing songs about it) (ps i love you) (pps yes that is a song)

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logansargeant why are you so obsessed with me?

logansargeant im not complaining btw cause like... never stop?

logansargeant but also pps cant wait to hear it 🤍

yourusername just for this attitude you're the LAST to hear it now (handsome)

username still never gonna understand how LOGAN SARGEANT bagged ms ma'am but okay! 🤭

username a couple mutually obsessed with each other? (gag) (obsessed)

oscarpiastri i get asked questions about you too?

yourusername yes and your one word answers are SO riveting.

username why is no one talking about the SONG??? PS I LOVE YOU???? im going to throw up

username it's going to be the most disgustingly loving obsessive song ever and it's all about this american MAN

username never seen a man luckier than logan sargeant

logansargeant has posted a story

tagged logansargeant

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yourusername nothing makes me happier than running into you in the most random of places. always there when i need you most 🫶🏻

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logansargeant i would meet you in the middle of a croc swamp if i had to

logansargeant not a snake pit though, you're on your own for that one kid

yourusername you're on your own kid... what a song title 🤭

alex_albon we have a race next week??? in australia??? why are you in america

logansargeant 🤫

username god these two make me sick!!! (affectionate)

username if they ever break up... imagine the album ugh. i need it

username maybe let's not wish a breakup on anyone??? especially these two?? wtf

lilymhe begging u to release the songs even if they're about logan

yourusername they're actually about you?? 🫶🏻

tagged logansargeant and yourusername

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ynupdates during an interview before the melbourne gp this weekend, logan gushed about finally getting to see yn after a few weeks apart, and when asked if she'd be attending any of the upcoming gp's all he did was smile and say 'she could be here right now, but i'm not going to be the one to expose her?' - so, if anyone is at the melbourne gp be sure to keep your eyes out!

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username oh he SO flew to san fran so she wouldn't have to fly to australia alone.. king energy??

username i know he always says he's the winner but that man would walk through hell for her so idk

username omg omg im gonna be at the gp this weekend!!! i'll keep an extra eye on everything and anything william's

username imagine going to a FORMULA 1 RACE and running into THEE pop star yn

username logan it's your weekend to get some points!!! impress your gf, be the prize and the winner for once!! (at least get points)

yourusername has posted a story

liked by logansargeant, username, username, and others

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logansargeant not you posting my garage but not even coming to see me??? hell is a place on earth and it's where i am right now

yourusername literally my words every time im away from you??? go win points love u my handsome lil eagle man <333

logansargeant gross <3

liked by yourusername, alex_albon, oscarpiastri, and others

logansargeant LFGGGGG!! first points of the year, and a 5th place finish at the melbourne gp!! let's go up from here!! honoured to have had my best friend here, always gonna be a winner when you're involved angel 💗

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yourusername literally wreck my plans, THAT'S my man

yourusername so fricken proud of you handsome!!! knew calling you my lil eagle man would win you some points

yourusername love you so much pls

logansargeant love you more pretty <3

williamsracing that's OUR shared comfort american man. it's all up from here!

username LFGGGG

username RAH RAH WTF IS A KM 🦅

username 🦅🦅🦅

tagged logansargeant

liked by logansargeant, lilymhe, oscarpiastri, and 12,320,433 others

yourusername in honour of my boyfriend, my new album 'lover' will be out 24.03.14 - an ode to the man who has shown me how you can be a prize and a winner all in one. logan, i love you more than anything. always.

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logansargeant and to think i always said it was a joke when i asked you to write an album for me.

logansargeant i love you to the moon and back, i know i've heard every song but i can't wait to hear it again. you're the best ever

yourusername god. i'm so lucky to be known as yours lo 💗

oscarpiastri if anyone asks me about this. one word answers only. riveting.

yourusername riveting?

oscarpiastri riveting.

username I KNEW IT

username THERE WAS WAY TOO MANY REFS TO NEW SONGS

username god this is gonna make me feel so single. i literally can't wait.

ynnation love songs for the ages, we know it. an icon, and congrats to logan for getting his first points of the year!!

username this is SO for all the logan haters, ain't none of y'all ever gonna make our girl feel the way he does!!!

authors notes

this was so self-indulgent bc i haven't written in forever but im going through a logan phase. i hope you all love it 💗 i also lost my tag list so pls enjoy regardless ily

#logan sargeant #logan sargeant x reader #logan sargeant imagine #f1 x reader #f1 smau #f1 imagine #logan sargeant smau #smau #f1 #william's racing #my smau #logan sargeant fluff #f1 fluff

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hungerofhadarr · 3 months

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Sometimes I cannot tell if you guys want villains who do not want to be redeemed or not bc we get gortash and everyone trips over themselves to make this version of him that is absolved from his actions and he’ s changed … Anyways another day another time Wyll gets put to the back burner with crumbs of content yet everyone huddles around like “ OMG THANK YOU LARIAN … oh yeah sorry about Wyll : ((( “

You guys get you are a part of the problem right . You are letting Larian know they can get away with being racist as long as they feed fandom and whatever . Instead of actual quality of life updates and patching in content that would Actually help the game run better and feel finished , they just bloat the game and let companions go untouched with minimal content while playing into whatever the loudest voices in fandom demand the most .

The studio account should not be interacting with fandom so often . This blur between creators and fans is bad ! This leads to fans blindly defending and protecting a Game Studio that they have no connection to because haha larian mad a funny reply . And this also causes a feeling of ownership that should not be there ! You do not own a piece of bg3 and you should not be dictating it ! This is different from criticism btw . Just so we are Clear . Larian deserves and needs criticism .

It is super telling that they voices they are choosing to listen to are not voices that actually care about the game at its story . If they were , we would not have Zero Story for the Son of the Duke of Baldur’ s Gate and yet we have so much for a character that isn’ t actually tied into any major story beat ! We have no more for the character directly tied to Gortash with a prototype of the Steel Watch in her chest , but we can take a side character a few people wanted to bang and speed to have him included ad a full companion ! Instead of Dark Urge getting more content with Orin , Savrok and anyone else that had a tie to Bhaal , they get their relationship with a guy unrelated to all that be made to be read more and more explicitly romantic when that is just ruining the character !

Wyll should have a proper sex scene . He should have a romanced greeting that changes after the proposal . He should have more personal story content . He should have scenes of him in Baldur’ s Gate . The Emperor reveal as Balduran should not have been the main focus of HIS FINAL STORY QUEST . He should have hug and kiss options in the epilogue . People should comment on the engagement ! He should have all of this !! AND MORE FRANKLY .

But because everyone is so quick to forgive Larian , they’ ll never feel pressured to add any of this . They’ ll never feel like they’ ll loose players if they don’ t . Because you guys don’ t actually care . No , I am not saying thank you to larian for not giving me anything I have been asking for and sending feedback on for months . I am not thanking larian for choosing to bend over backwards to random big name fandom people who are racist and just want to fuck the pale guys again and again .

Larian Studio is not your fucking friend, stop acting like they are .

#bg3 #baldurs gate 3 #bg3 critical #larian studios #larian critical #wyll ravengard #astarion #astarion acunin #enver gortash #bg3 gortash #patch 6 #read it and weep idgaf

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goldsbitch · 5 months

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That one Christmas flight

summary: Y/N and Lando Norris are seated next to each other on a long flight. Innocent little Christmas tradition that Y/N does every year brings them just a little too close.

warnings: fluff, one-shot (whops a lie!), meet cute

Christmas. Y/N felt like an alien walking among people. It was impossible to avoid it. It was present in songs, in decoration, in fashion, online and on the news. Everywhere.

It's not like she was a grinch or anything. Nor was it because of some tragic incident causing trauma. Just pure fatigue from all the logistics and travel connected, which most kids of divorced parents faced every year.

Flying from Japan back to England, from her mother to her father, was a chore that seemed unavoidable. Her mother was kind enough to splurge on first class ticket for her, which her fancy Tokio job allowed. Ever since fours years ago, she continued a tradition that was introduced to her by a fellow Christmas traveller - the most stylish sassy French woman, who often spend the holidays on a plane. She would get herself and who ever was sitting next to her a glass of champagne and chat them up. Y/N has never laughed so much in her life like she did when she met this woman - so she took the tradition as her own.

Lando's plan wasn't to be on a flight from Japan to London on the 24th of December. He had so little time with his family and friends that this secret work trip to the Honda factory was really pushing him into staying with McLaren for the following years and not switching to a different team. This whole situation was like fuel for his current headache.

Y/N second guessed her tradition when a super gorgeous looking boy, who seemed to want anything but to be bothered, was sat next to her. She was used to having older people sitting next to her. Anyway, tradition is a tradition, so she eventually got up to order the classic. She nearly turned back at the thought that this guy was giving off some serious "I'm a dick" vibes, he had barely acknowledged her since she sat down. Luckily, she ignored this feeling.

When a glass of champagne appeared before Lando, he was sure it was a mistake.

"Well, to Christmas," his neighbor toasted. While he thought that she was a rather good looking girl, he was in no mood for a fangirl.

"I'm very sorry, um...I'll be happy to take a photo with you or something, but I am not in the best mood for a interaction with a fan."

She gave him a baffled look.

He continued. "Look, I'll be more than happy to sign anything. Or a photo, just as long you keep between un on which flight you saw me."

Y/N put her glass down, this was a first one.

"First of all, sorry for invading your private time. I have this stupid tradition of having a glass with whomever I'm destined to spend this Christmas flight. Guess I was mistaken. Second of all, I have no fucking idea who you are. So, calm down." She downed half of her glass. Of course this stupid year would include an asshole like this. Oh well.

Lando was confused for a moment and immediately after that he felt like an idiot.

"Apologies," he slowly replied, somewhat baffled. "I thought you were a fan and I'm just not in the mood for that." Y/N rolled her eyes and downed the rest of her champagne. "I'm Lando, by the way."

"Is that a stage name?"

"No, " he laghed. "I think it was a random decision of my mom."

"Interesting. Y/N," she introduced herself, without looking at him.

There was a weird tension in the air. Lando was determined to break it. Y/N was currently casually offended.

"Let me get you another one so that we can have a toast."

"Great, getting drunk is also an option. Hate flying sober," she joked.

Another glass was brought by a smiling flight attendant.

"So, how does this work?" Lando asked. Y/N was a person easily annoyed, however as quickly this came it also ended.

"Fine. There are rules, btw."

"Of course there are."

"Ehm, ehm, " she cleared her throat. "So, this tradition was started by Madame Tatanova and from now on, if you find yourself on a plane on 24th or 25th of December, you need to toast with your fellow neighbor passenger and answer the following: why and for how long-"

"I will have to write this down, I have a memory of a dead chicken."

"-I'm not finished! And then you follow up by your biggest regret and one thing nobody knows. The purpose of this is to gain or pass on wisdom and use the opportunity you'd normally miss by blasting up your headphones." She's done this for four times now, still the introduction was missing the "Madame Tatanova magic". Maybe one day.

"Ok..." Lando was not following yet, but he was keen on doing so. She raised her glasses, as did he.

"Cheers, to Christmas flights."

"Cheers, " he replied and they both sipped their champagne. "Wait, I have a question - what would you do if I did not speak English? Or if I was deaf?"

Lando was being his cheeky self and Y/N was not having it. She answered the question with a look.

"Got it! Anyway...what was the question?"

"Why."

"Why? Why is the sky dark or....?"

"Why are you on this plane."

"I'm trying to get to London from Tokio."

"I swear to god, I will ask to be seated somewhere else, Orlando."

"Lando, actually."

"If you say so..."

"Huuh, I'm going back from a work trip. And since you claim not to know me, I can probably tell you more than I should. Um, imagine I am in a band, right? I'm singing for a band and every few years they change their lead singer, one of the two actually, and I'm a the lead singer who might go to a different band now. But it's not clear yet and super secret actually. So, please keep it to yourself." Lando felt like someone who has just discovered speech and this was the first time he was using it. "Does that make any sort of sense?"

"Sort of I think. So you're cheating on your band?"

"Uhh, I'd say checking out options."

"Remind me never to date guys like you," she joked and immediately regretted that. Y/N was not good at flirting and did not want to appear creepy.

Lando passed on this comment, still not sure if he could trust this girl. "So, what about you? Why?"

"The curse of the divorced parents. One lives in London, the other one in Japan and I'm a package they pass each year," she said rather bitterly.

"Sorry to hear that."

"Yeah. I get to see mom twice a year and it's all always so planned and predictable. I would kill for spontaneity."

"Take me with you next time, I'm sure she'll be surprised." "Yes, she is a big fan of British guys, that's why she divorced one!"

"Great, happy to follow that route!"

Y/N started to relax a bit. This could be good, actually. "Ok, so now. For long are you staying in London, Lando?"

"Only few weeks. Then our music season starts. "

"Yeah, the one with all the singing, of course."

"Yeeah."

Y/N laughed a bit. He was suprisingly easy to talk to.

"So, how long?"

"A week. Then I'm off to Bologna."

"Uuuh, fancy that!"

"Yeah, I'm studying history there."

"Bologna is the one with the old university?" he asked, pretending he has never heard of that.

"No, not really, they just opened. Last year we did not have chairs, because the shipment got delayed," she replied with a dry tone.

"One does always study better while standing. I believe it was Socrates, who said it."

"Oh, yes. They teach you this at the singing music school?"

"Exactly. We were never allowed to sit."

They continued to chat all the way through the airplane dinner, getting few more glasses of champagne during that. Their laughter was interrupted by a flight attendant, who acted on a complaint from a fellow passenger. They both fell asleep watching a movie. Y/N woke up few times in the night and observed the boy next to her. Knowing this was the best Christmas plane encounter she ever had. Lando woke up as well, feeling strangely happy about the fact she was resting her head on his shoulder.

"Wait." Lando stopped her at the entrance to customs hall and pulled them both behind a column, so that they could not be seem by bystanders.

"Yes?" she turned to him.

"This might be weird, but can I kiss you?" Y/N looked at the boy in a hoodie standing in front of her, cheeky guy suddenly appearing nervous. He was absolutely gorgeous. She hated the fact he was random guy on a plane to London and not to Bologna.

"Yes. Must be midnight somewhere. So it could be like a New Years thing."

"Yeah. Just an airport thing." With that he kissed her. Just two young people having a little moment of silence. His kiss was a light slow brush on the lips. He cupped her cheek and her hand brushed through his curly hair. First kiss usually does not take long. For a person passing by, this would appear like kiss these two shared a thousand times before.

When they eventually parted, it all seemed a bit surreal.

"We never got to the second part of your Christmas interview," Lando commented.

"Well. Let's say that the one thing nobody knows is that I just kissed a random guy from the plane. And that my biggest regret is that we will never see each other again." For the first time, she was this bluntly honest with somebody who had just kissed her for the first time. It felt intoxicating.

Lando smiled. "See, I knew we had something in common."

Lando was usually not so open with his crushes, if he could even put her in that category.

"Don't worry. I won't search for you online or anything. I want to keep the mystery of Lando alive."

He kissed her once more, before they parted.

Their hearts felt a little more heavier than usual on midnight that New Years Eve. Both standing surrounded by their favorite people, yet with the one they would wish to kiss being impossibly far away.

part 2

_________________________

@superlegend216

#lando norris #lando norris x reader #lando norris x you #lando norris fanfic #ln4 imagine #formula 1 #formula one x reader #f1 fanfic #f1 imagine #lando norris angst #meet cute #fluff #lando norris fluff #formula 1 fluff #formula 1 fanfic #oneshot fanfiction #ln4 x reader #That one Christmas flight

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rougecreator1 · 2 months

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NorthShore Nowheres // part 1

|| Poly!plastics x fem!reader (bit of Cady x fem!reader) (btw I myself am poly)

|| Warnings: loosely follows the movie musical, with reader being Aaron (slight dialogue changes to fit Y/N), light swearing

|| Summary: you're the leader of the NorthShore Nowheres biker gang/clique. The plastics take an interest in you, but so has Cady...

Requested by Anon!

Requests open!

~~~

The sound of your motorcycle filled the parking lot as you zipped through and parked in your usual spot, taking your helmet off and twisting your head slightly in a way that fixed your hair. For the plastics, who had been watching you from the side steps of the school, time seemed to play in slow motion. Watching as you flick your hair and get off your bike. Your walk radiating pure confidence. The girls shared a look with one another.

"We're all in agreement?" Regina asked her girlfriends, who nodded and looked back at you. Watching as you walked past them, heading up the steps and giving the school's polycue a wink.

~~~

You sat in AP Calculus. Not listening to a word Ms Norbury was saying as she stood at the front, hands on her hips and looking out at the rows of students. You simply folded a paper airplane and tossed it at some random kid next to you, making another stifle a laugh as you smirked. The student swatted the paper plane away.

"Y/N L/N." Ms Norbury gave you that signature warning look, which made you roll your eyes and she continued on with her lecture," Chapter one! Limits and their properties. What the heck are limits, you say? If I write out the equation..."

You started zoning out, hand on your chin and elbow on your desk as you stared at the board blankly.

"The limit equals 3." A voice from behind you spoke up, pulling you from your day dreams.

"That's right." Ms Norbury said, sounding surprised. " Let's try another one. Find the value for K for which the following limit exists."

"K equals -3." The girl says again.

"Damn, girl!" Some mathlete kid piped up.

You looked behind at the girl and smirked," Wow. Are you trying to make the rest of us look like dumbasses?"

"No- I'm- I'm not- trying to it's just sort of happening..." She replied, stuttering as she stared at you. Adorable. You laughed.

"Oh? Is that how it is? Okay. Well..." You leaned a little closer," challenge accepted."

You turned around, looking down at your paper with a sigh. The new girl on your mind. Reaching into your bag, you pulled out your pen then gently trailed your hand through your hair as you began working on your paper. Why did you sign up for AP Cal? This class was going to kill you.

Behind you, you heard something fall to the ground and looked to see Cady's pen. You bent down and picked it up, handing it to her with a smile before looking at the board again. You could have sworn you heard music coming from somewhere...

~~~

After school, you were outside with some of your biker gang. Just chatting and hanging out as you fidgeted with your phone. You happened to notice Cady watching you and gave her a small wave. Then turned your attention towards your gang again; when Cady almost got hit by the bus, your eyes widening slightly. You debated going to check on her. But she said that she was okay. Which made you sigh with relief from where you stood a bit away.

~~~

The following day, you and your gang sat at your usual lunchtable. Rough housing with each other, laughing and spreading gossip as you usually do. You glanced over at the plastics table, watching as Regina got up and walked away.

Karen and Gretchen were talking with Cady. "So, have you seen any guys you think are cute yet?" Karen asked.

"Oh, um- not a guy- but well actually there's this girl in my Calculus class." Cady responded.

"Ohhh, a senior! Who is it?" Gretchen replied.

"Ah, Y/N L/N." Cady replied, Karen and Gretchen shared a panicked look.

"You can't like Y/N L/N!" Gretchen said quickly.

"No, no bad, danger." The danger Karen said was loud enough to get your attention, you glanced at them in confusion then rolled your eyes and focused on your group again. Getting shoved by one of your friends who you playfully shoved back and smirked at.

"We're after her so you can't have her." Gretchen states, looking over at you and your gang's table," Crushes are off limits for friends that's just like the rules of feminism."

One of your friends in your gang wrapped an arm around you and started filming a TikTok. Instinctively you winked at the camera then laughed slightly and looked at your friend, who's name was Julia. But no one called her that, pretty much everyone referred to her as Jules. "Jules, girlie. What weird trend are you hoping on now?" You asked with your usual charming smile. Two things you had a reputation for. Being a bad girl. And then your charm, even if you weren't overly popular people still loved you. You just weren't Apex Predator worthy. Possibly like whatever was a few chains down from that, though.

"That one silent review trend. Featuring you." Jules pointed at you and you couldn't help but laugh.

"Definitely tag me in that." She nodded and you gave her shoulder a gentle pat.

~~~

At the end of the day, you and your gang hanged out at your usual bench. With you sprawled out across it and Jules laying across you. You guys were close friends, though there were rumours you were a thing. One of your friends made a joke and you laughed, though it was cut short as the plastics walked over. Regina with her arms folded, Gretchen and Karen following behind.

Regina's intimidation was enough to scare Jules off you (and the rest of your gang). They excused themselves as you sat up, watching the three in confusion. Once again you swore you heard music... with faint jungle sounds?

"Something I can do for you?" You folded your arms, a little annoyed Regina scared off your friends.

"You. Us." Regina gestures to herself, Gretchen and Karen," Date to the movies Friday night. Wear something nice." She looks you up and down, you glance at your baggy jeans and leather jacket before looking at Regina again.

"Is this you inviting me into your polycue?" If you're being honest, you have wanted them for a while. You just didn't want to risk making a fool of yourself. Regina's gaze tells you everything you need to know, so you nod." Alright. Friday night."

Regina smiles and walks over, kissing your cheek before looking towards Cady who had been watching. She beckons Cady over and then walks away from you. Gretchen and Karen linking arms as they giggle, Gretchen sending you a wink. Your face flushes and you look away, making a mental note to be extra careful. The last thing you wanted to do was piss off all three.

~~~

Feedback is welcomed! Probably going to make this a 3 part story (maybe longer depending), each part being about a half an hour chunk of the movie with extra bits added in between. Just so this doesn't become overly long, yk?

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sturn3 · 23 days

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i lowkey really got out of hand, girl... i'm sorry, i can re-do it if you'd like!!! (btw im not really sorry, im kinda proud of the smut i wrote) tw: not proofread cause im kinda lazy rn

matt's girlfriend was the sweetest angel anyone had ever met. always putting everyone's needs before her own. never wanting to disappoint anyone and she just had a very motherly nature, needing to take care of everyone around her.

so, that translated that she was a pathological people pleaser. taking up extra shifts at her work, always saying yes to her boss even though she didn't want to do something he suggested, giving her coworkers rides home, baking them the cookies she once brought to work and everyone continuesly asked for, giving rides to her coworkers and so much more.

her natural instinct of saying yes to everything to please everyone left her exhausted all the time. so, when she did have free time all she'd do is nap, that would be the case, of course, if no one of her friends called her to hang out or have her do some kind of chore. matt had finally had enough of missing his girlfriend so much and never having any time with her. and that's when he decided to intervene.

firstly, he decided to mix up her white laundry with a piece of red clothing, painting all of her formal clothes and cute lingerie, pink. you moved on and said, "That's fine, sweetie. everyone makes mistakes." matt had to work harder to pull out the beast he knew you were hiding.

secondly, he started messing up all of your orders. putting onion and peppers in every order, two vegetables you hated passionately.you did show a little more aggression towards that, but you picked the disgusting veggies off and made no deal about it.

thirdly, matt thought this was his best shot at getting out the worst version of you. you were currently enjoying a party at full swing, everyone was having fun and drinking. you were with your girlfriends a few feet away from where you had last left matt. what you had failed to realize yet was that matt had some added companion from the last time you looked over to him. a girl glued to his side. at that moment ,you didn't think you'd ever been angrier. matt tried to hide his smirk as he saw you stalking over to him with crossed arms over your chest. when you got there, you tapped the girl aggressively on her shoulder, causing her to turn around and give you a look as if you were the one interrupting something. she suddenly spoke, "what do you want?" she said as her big brown eyes bored over your figure,"for you to stop talking to my boyfriend." you said as you pushed her out of the way and grabbed matt by his hand.

you had to managed to get away from the crowded house party and inside his parked car."can you tell me why the fuck that bitch was on you like that? you fucking bored of me or something?" you said as you slapped down his neck, matt couldn't help but smile wickedly. "maybe." he replied testing you even more, he knew he was playing with fire. "maybe, huh?? i'll fucking show you how boring i am, matt. get in the back and strip." he knew not to piss you off more so that's what he did. finally, you climed to the backseat right after he had obeyed and done everything you had asked him to.

"so, you think you're funny, matt, yeah? you think i'm such a people pleasure who would let you fuck some random dumb whore?" oh my god, did he love seeing this side of you. he made a mental note to piss you more often. he was getting a bit too excited while you were sat on top of his lap and quite literally could feel his dick stood up against your thigh. "no, no that's not what i was trying to do. i love you, baby." you laughed bitterly at that, grabbing him by his face and pulling his lips close enough to yours, touching but never kissing, "well, i think you deserve a lesson, baby." you said mocking him. so you got to work. you were currently on your knees on the floor of his car, leaving kisses on the length of his dick and occasional "kitten" licks on his tip. taking your sweet time teasing him and making it more painful each moment you passed without doing anything further. the growns you'd hear of him, making your core drip to the carpet of his car, due to your lack of underwear. whenever he'd to push your head so you could take him further into your mouth, you'd shake your head and shot him a disapproving look and he'd quickly let go. after a while of teasing him, you decided to fully take him in your mouth. he almost came when your warm mouth came into contact with his dick. your movements slow and steady. keeping him guessing your next movement. he knew not to try you, either. but when you felt his dick twitch in your mouth, you decided it was time to let go. you had brought him to such point of overstimulation and overwhelm that he could feel tears spill from his eyes. sat perched up on his lap with your legs spread, your skirt so shirt, giving him a view of your pantie-less pussy, he wanted to cry. so, when you finally leaned in to kiss him, he sighed in relief. your lips moving so hungrily against each other, his kiss so bruising. you could feel his hands grab the bottom of your tight crop top and pull it off your head. hands immediately going to grab at your breasts, meanwhile kissing and sucking your collarbones. then, he went down to suck your nipples, paying equal attention to both of them, his hands dropping to play with you clit. your pornographic moans filling the silence of his car. when you pulled his hands away to replace them with his dick he was gone for. he came almost immediately, as expected. but that didn't stop you. you weren't gonna stop if you didn't get to cum. so you eagerly moved on his dick trying to reach your high. your breasts jumping up and down on his face, a sight he wishes he could see every waking second of his life. that fueled him to thrust up inside you, not being able to resist but play with your tits once more. kissing and sucking. "you're so perfect, baby. no one could compare to you, my love." he said as he pulled from your tits and looking up at you with a lust filled gaze. both of you came to a high eventually. completely spent from your actions. "you love this side of me, don't you?" you accused matt, he couldn't help but let out the biggest smile "mhm yeah really turns me on how crazy you can get.", "oh, is that so?" "yes, i love my sweet kind girlfriend but baby you need to let out more the insane girl only i get to see."

#matt sturniolo #matt sturniolo x you #matt sturniolo x reader #chris sturniolo #christopher sturniolo #sturniolo triplets #nick sturniolo #nicolas sturniolo #chris sturniolo x reader

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originalartblog · 9 months

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hi! i got into bsd and i was meaning to ask, since you seem an authority on the matter, could you recommend me some more bsd blogs to follow?

ps. love your art so much, you capture the characters personalities so well!

oh... that's a lot of pressure... I'm aware that I have weight on this side of the fandom (feels wild btw) but authority is too big a word

I mainly interact with art and the occasional analysis and joke posts, so most of the blogs I can recommend are that, plus I am very Chuuya/Dazai/skk biased

First, browse and follow the bsd fanart tag to get just that. Not everyone uses it (I encourage them to!!), but if like me you are so very done with the negativity fest that have become the main tags since the anime started airing again, that's a great place to find fun things!

Second, I am sending you on a discovery journey. I encourage you to look through people's blogs and tags for some great finds. Here are some blogs in random order for you to start with, because there is no way I can remember all the blogs I love:

@caelanglang (art), @luneariann (art), @sensitiveheartless (art + writing), @arikitoka (art), @itotypes (writing + art), @iwritenarrativesandstuff (analysis + writing + art), @frenchonionsoop (art), @petitesmafia (funny), @yomeiu (art), @esmiara (art), @weeniehutart (art), @videogamelover99 (analysis + art), @carrotkicks (art), @damianito (art), @smolskk (art), @kokoasci (art), @chupidopi (art), @mochimochips (art), @creantzy (art), @justplaggin (news and official stuff),

have some reblog blogs that will probably catch some of the cool people I can't remember right now AND give you some forgotten older stuff if you scroll far enough: @demonprodigy-kingofsheep, @im-always-a-slut-for-soukoku, @for-chuuya, @awkwardbsd, a bunch of the people above too, and a shameless self-plug @originalaccountname where it's mostly reblogs and the occasional analysis post.

EDITED: popopretty makes monthly chapter recaps and other kinds of translations (you might recognize them from twitter, or not), @reneray has Fifteen manga adaptation translations, and @nineofscans has monthly chapter translations and some bonuses!

I could never remember everyone and if your tastes diverge from mine there are also a bunch of really cool people who "specialize" in different characters and dynamics you will stumble upon out there.

you are all allowed to shamelessly plug yourselves or your faves in the replies/reblogs btw

#happy browsing!! i hope you find some cool people and fandom stuff to your tastes!!#and hello all of you! i hope you're having a good weekend :)#ask answered #not art #about the main tags issue:#nothing makes me more angry than bad faith criticism #especially in animation. if i see one more ''lazy animation'' accusation i am going to eat someone's kneecaps.#also i don't have time for all that complaining. i like to have fun you see.

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iwritenarrativesandstuff · 10 months

Text

Trimax Thoughts Vol. 2 Pt. 2

Or, Wolfwood is a terrible liar and that's actually way more compelling than if he was good at it.

Wolfwood is quickly becoming one of my favourites in this series. I love a character with a good internal conflict who challenges the protagonist, and he's such a delightfully odd little critter of a man which makes him doubly enjoyable to me. He also causes me emotional damage, which kind of sealed the deal.

So, let's review what we know about his situation so far: He is, allegedly, a traveling priest, but his other job, the one he makes most of his money with, is some kind of dirty business (given the company of the Gung Ho Guns, it is likely as an assassin or a hired gun). Legato hired (?) him along with the rest of the GHG, and we know the fate of anyone who fails or tries to run. He knows this too - he can't leave. He's trapped. There was a two-year time-skip between Fifth Moon and his return in which he was searching for Vash, allegedly about the mass disappearances. We don't know fully what his current situation is, but given the GHG's continued orders, the recognition by Rai-Dei, and the way he knows way too much about Knives, it seems likely he is still stuck working for him - from here, it's still unclear what exactly his orders are, but it seems likely he is set up to betray or antagonize Vash later on.

This seems like it should be the set up for a character who has to lie constantly. Setting up smiles and earning the trust of their target. Their conflict about their mission vs their budding attachment being a deeply internalized struggle that slowly bubbles up to the surface as time goes on.

Wolfwood (kind of?) tries to do this, to be fair. But. He is so bad at it.

(Fair warning: this got LONG. I am sorry in advance.)

He is not a good liar. He doesn't even come up with a proper reason to explain his knowledge of Knives. He does not make any active effort to win Vash's trust. His internal conflict bleeds out of him to the surface almost right away and is glaringly obvious. He's just. So bad at not seeming suspicious. Here's the prime examples:

In his first appearance, he responds to Vash questioning how he makes money as a priest by practically admitting he has some kind of side job with a troubled and more serious expression than he's worn in the entire chapter (his eye is pale instead of dark here - take note of this btw this is important!). He doesn't even know Vash. Vash is some random stranger he just met on a bus. Why are you telling him this.

He reveals his giant cross is actually a giant gun with no lead up or warning whatsoever in front of a very startled Vash. He never explains why he is carrying around a giant cross-gun.

He says he's been looking for Vash for two years but the reason he gives is the mass disappearances, which only started six months ago.

He reveals that he knows way too much about Knives to not be associated with him in some way. Vash is obviously suspicious and asks about it, to which Wolfwood replies that he has a grudge against Knives and that he'd explain it later. ...he proceeds to never explain it.

Wolfwood gets annoyed when Vash says he's meeting with someone but it's a secret, to which Vash points out Wolfwood is hiding things too. Wolfwood just says "..." and. Does not deny this.

Wolfwood once again reveals he knows way too much about Knives. Vash is obviously suspicious by now and questions him again to which Wolfwood deflects in the most obvious way by changing the topic entirely and saying "Oh look a sandworm wow that's a big one!" Which. Does not fool Vash at all? That wouldn't fool anyone? You just made yourself more suspicious???????

Wolfwood and Rai-Dei clearly recognize each other. Vash is left looking between them in confusion while Wolfwood, once again, does not try to explain away anything - which would be a good thing to do, considering Rai-Dei is one of the Gung Ho Guns and he would probably want to... not imply any connection to them?

In short. What are you doing. What are you doing???

It's so funny to me because this is 100% an "I know/I know you know" kind of situation, and they could be playing mind games about this or leaning on that but instead they're just both blatantly ignoring the giant sandworm in the room. But it makes sense for these characters and is way more interesting in this case - after all, the core conflict so far revolves around second chances, and changing your life, and not killing so that people have a life to change. If Vash was unaware of the potential threat of Wolfwood, we could chalk a lot of his amicability with him up to ignorance, but we can't, because he isn't ignorant at all. This in turn makes Vash utterly confounding to Wolfwood, which makes his internal conflict not as much about the situation surrounding Vash, but about Vash himself, and what that may say about Wolfwood's own character.

Also, I personally think it's really fun to see how silly they are together in spite of all of this looming over them. Disagreeing on something so major as life and death coupled with Wolfwood's obvious suspiciousness - they really probably... shouldn't get along?

It's not a completely unfounded dynamic though. They met once, before Wolfwood knew that he was going to be made an enemy to Vash, and they clicked. Very easily. It was a brief meeting but it was impactful enough that Vash immediately recognizes him two years later.

And Wolfwood's eyes are dark when speaking with him.

Ok! Now I get to delve into the entire reason I wanted to make this post in the first place - it ties in firmly with Wolfwood being not great at lying or hiding his intentions.

Tristamp Vash voice: "You can see it in his eyes."

No. Seriously. The manga does some really interesting things with shading to draw attention to specific parts of a panel, such as shadowing entire faces to display rage or indicate "something to be afraid of", shading things in gray to emphasize them in the scene... and in Wolfwood's case, making his dark eyes look pale to indicate his emotional state, in what I have now taken to calling the "Wolfwood pale eyes of distress". I use distress to specifically encapsulate emotions like fear, desperation, feeling trapped, and internal conflict - strong, negative emotions that become more overwhelming the less control he has over a potentially threatening situation. Here's some examples:

So, yeah, his eyes are extremely expressive. Not only is he not a great liar, but his eyes pretty much always complement what he's feeling or saying - they give him away. Small wonder he's typically wearing sunglasses when interacting with people. Wolfwood appears to be somewhat aware of his eyes being giveaways... but I think he may have misinterpreted what exactly they reveal. He seems to think they reveal his darkness; the "devil" he's had to become. I can think of no other explanation for why his eyes are firmly shut in the nightmare sequence as soon as the kids run up to him.

^ This caused me immense pain btw. Not only is he keeping his eyes shut in front of the kids, he keeps that smile fixed on his face - the panel on the side is clearly internal. So he's... doubly hiding himself. He doesn't want to scare them, or for him to see the "monster" he's become so he smiles and acts like everything's fine even though he's pained. Hm. Sounds like... someone else we know...

However, what Vash sees is not some devil.

The ending of the Rai-Dei fight is when the budding conflict between Vash and Wolfwood reaches a breaking point. Interestingly, Wolfwood starts this fight without his glasses, but puts them on somewhere between Rai-Dei mentioning the Gung Ho Guns know where Vash's home is and Wolfwood deciding to interfere - which really means aiming to kill Rai-Dei. It's interesting he should take the time to put them back on like that. It doesn't really matter though, because we see his eyes anyways as he shoots Rai-Dei dead.

Ah yes. The eyes of a man completely unaffected and not at all bothered by the act of killing. Note the paleness again. They're like that all the way through this scene. The glasses do manage to cover his eyes in the next bit where he proceeds to shoot Rai-Dei again three more times. Hard to read his expression here but I'm assuming he went somewhat blank. He mentions later that he shoots twice in the head, twice in the heart - this was probably a "finishing of the job"; he's on autopilot - and so he doesn't actually react at first when Vash punches the glasses right off his face.

My actual reaction when I read this: OH???????

The glasses are off now. His cover is gone. And Wolfwood goes "to hell with it" and all but reveals that he's probably going to be a future threat to Vash.

Wolfwood takes the gun he just used to kill Rai-Dei, presses it into Vash's hand, aims it at his own head and tells Vash to shoot. Now, disregarding the fact that this is such a normal thing to do (sarcasm...), the intention here is pretty obvious. Wolfwood genuinely thinks that someone has to die for others to live, and because Vash won't kill, he believes he is the one who has to do so. If Vash would face threats with lethal intent, if he would dirty his own hands, then Wolfwood would trade his life - but they both know Vash won't shoot. However, I'm not sure if Wolfwood consciously realizes what he all but admitted here - pointing the gun at his own head, "so you won't hesitate to take out the next man who gets in your way"... they've both been dancing around the issue of Wolfwood's suspiciousness but here he might as well have said "I'm a threat. You know I'm probably a threat. Why don't you defend yourself? How can you be this naïve?" And all the while he's making full eye contact - probably expecting to have revealed that darkness within him. But Vash does not see Wolfwood as a devil. He sees him as playing the role of one. Vash is upset with Wolfwood here, but he's also upset for Wolfwood. Vash sees right through him to his inner conflict and pain, the same way Wolfwood saw through Vash to his pain.

Backtracking a bit.

Remember how I commented close to the beginning of this that Wolfwood's eyes are dark when he speaks with Vash again after two years? The way the conflict builds between them is really interesting too, because it doesn't really start as an argument (or at least, that's not how I took it).

I think I saw someone on here commenting on how funny it is that Wolfwood is expositing Plants to Vash, which is for the reader's benefit probably, but is still an interesting way to segue into the moral conflict that will characterize them in future.

Explaining the Plant and resulting conflict in straightforward terms. "We've had this talk already." Stating what he sees as simple truths of the world bluntly but not unkindly. Rapping on the door and wanting to finish the earlier conversation, and suddenly I realized "wait. wait."

He's. It's almost like he's trying to teach him. Like one would explain things to a child who doesn't yet understand the world's harsh realities. Which is so funny for so many reasons.

For one, Vash... plays along? Just because, I guess? Look at that intense look of concentration while Wolfwood educates him about what Plants do. He is being very attentive and listening really hard. Also, the next part too is just...

Vash, sniffling: "Why do things like this have to happen?" :'(

Hjdhfdjhb??? (Like he definitely is genuinely upset but it's not like he doesn't understand... the little pout after too...)

For another, I'm so fascinated that Wolfwood initially decides that Vash must just not understand the ways of the world because like. He's seen his scars before. He can see Vash's scars in this very scene. You can't chalk that up to naivete... but if it isn't that, then Wolfwood can't understand it, so he leans into this interpretation, despite having to know that it's wrong.

For as much as this sounds kind of condescending of him, I don't think he really intends it that way - he may think the pacifism is naïve, but he doesn't actually see Vash as a child. It may be somewhat automatic for him to approach it this way, because I'm assuming Wolfwood's positive interactions are mainly with children, and again, I don't think he's trying to start an argument here. He wants answers out of Vash, because Vash confuses him, and, after Fifth Moon, scares him too.

When he finds Vash again two years later, his eyes are dark, not pale. He's not scared of Vash in that scene, not the same way he was when he witnessed the Fifth Moon event. He greets him on fairly friendly terms and seems decently comfortable around him - enough to laugh at him, scold him, and share/fight over food. But there is still that moment of trepidation, where Wolfwood carefully brings up Fifth Moon and is clearly trying to gauge Vash's reaction. This is the random guy he met on a bus two years ago who seemed human enough. This is also the same guy he witnessed blow a crater into a moon, revealing himself to be something much more powerful and inhuman than he could understand. I believe a lot of this early questioning - the poking and prodding at Vash's morals, the watching to see what he'll do, is Wolfwood's attempt to reconcile these very conflicting views.

Unfortunately, instead of his questions and challenges clarifying things, they only muddy the waters further for him. Vash's actions, that kind of selfless-looking pacifism, is completely unexplainable by his current worldview - worse, the continued survival of Vash's pacifism directly conflicts with it. As Wolfwood's inner conflict is uncomfortably forced to the forefront of his mind where he spent his whole life repressing it, Vash becomes more unsettling to him, and the moral conflict, which started as an attempt to understand and question becomes confrontational. Vash's no-killing philosophy should not be possible to maintain, and Wolfwood responds by becoming more reactive and terrified.

When thinking later, he straight up says he's never seen someone put other's lives above their own. He nearly died as a child and the only thing that saved him was raw survival instinct. He's had to fend for himself. No one came to help. No wonder he doesn't have much hope. He thinks that to be human is to eventually succumb to the harshness of the world and to join that never ending cycle of violence (no matter how much he hates it) - notably though, he's not like Knives, who believes that humans are born bad. Rather, he seems to believe that people become corrupted, are forced to become "devils", over time and due to the inhospitable world they have to struggle to survive in. If he really believed humans were inherently bad, he wouldn't try to hide his eyes and bloodied hands from the kids (innocent!). It's why he can recognize Rai-Dei and the rest of the GHG as human, even when it's claimed they have given up their humanity. To Wolfwood, that in itself is just a part of being human.

Funnily enough, it is Vash's kindness surviving against all odds that cements him as something inhuman in Wolfwood's mind. And not only does seeing Vash as something not-human bring back some of the terror he felt during the Fifth Moon Incident, but it also puts Wolfwood in a very uncomfortable position of having the necessity of his darker actions be called into question. Vash is now threatening. And Wolfwood starts to respond to that threat in the way that is most natural for him.

There's some extra complications here too though - Wolfwood definitely cares about Vash too, at least to some extent. Their first meeting had none of this baggage, and Wolfwood expresses some worry about Vash's smiles not being genuine. They fall into a pretty natural, easy dynamic after one meeting and a two-year gap. He also shows a level of protectiveness really early on - that was the purpose of my funny little counter I did on a previous thoughts post, but let's look at this particular instance right here:

Return of pale eyes Wolfwood, who is genuinely concerned and pissed off. At first I assumed that Wolfwood was running to go after the still-present threat of Keele but the next time we see them, Vash is getting patched up and Wolfwood is standing in the room with him - the part where Wolfwood is running there is him trying to get medical help. This is not even bringing up the part after where he pulls out the tobasco sauce. (As an addition, it's also the last time he calls him "Vash" instead of "needle-noggin" - endearing nickname, or an attempt to distance himself? Who knows. Not Wolfwood, I'm sure.)

I do wonder if Wolfwood focused on some of the commonalities between them at first to attempt to bridge the gap between his conflicting images of Vash - I am not sure whether he's... well... self-aware enough to recognize that he also hides pain behind a smile and a pair of glasses, but they both sure are in uncomfortable positions of being wielded as weapons by Knives. The panel where Wolfwood tells Vash Knives is on the move again while he is superimposed directly below the spike jutting out of Knives' chest drives me insane. The threat of death looming over him like that. He’s trapped. Then there's the witnessing of the Fifth Moon incident, in which Vash's arm was quite literally hijacked and control taken away from him. Now, I understand this is mostly my assumption here but I don't think it's entirely unfounded - Wolfwood's expression when he watches this is a bit more detailed than the rest of the GHG, who mostly look shocked or scared - he looks that way too but there's also a furrowing of the brow that complicates the expression. Vash is screaming. Wolfwood's previous lamenting of the cycle of violence he's trapped in happens on the heels of realizing he'll be working against Vash. And when he finds him again, he's certainly wary, but not accusatory. I do think, terrified as he was by the implications of what Vash and Knives are and that sheer level of power, he does understand that Vash was being used and not in control of himself. I expect this is probably why he took the "grudge against Knives" angle - he recognizes Vash's anger and says "me too" - drawing a line of commonality between them.

But as the gap widens and Vash demonstrates clear differences that are unexplainable or otherwise threatening to Wolfwood, he becomes more discomforted and antagonistic as a result.

It all boils over after the Rai-Dei fight. At first, Wolfwood doesn't interfere in the fight because a) he knows Vash is competent, and b) he's a jerk sometimes and clearly thought him having a gunfight against a swordsman was funny. But that changes when it's revealed the GHG have located and are going to target Vash's home. The sunglasses get slipped back on. That's the point at which Wolfwood starts to go for his gun. Vash has turned deadly serious, and has told Rai-Dei to get out of his way, and Wolfwood probably assumed that this would be the exception to the rule - that's what he keeps saying, after all, that people will kill to defend those they love.

Instead, Vash tells Wolfwood to stay out of it, knowing he is intending to shoot Rai-Dei, and I do think that's the moment the conflict went from disagreement to actual anger.

What Wolfwood is not seeing is that Vash doesn't kill to defend the memory of someone he loved. That's not information Wolfwood is privy to, so while they are both protective people, the way they go about protecting is entirely different, and it's been there since the beginning.

This is a really cute scene, first of all. He's good with those kids. He crouches down to their level, splits the coins up evenly between them. It's kind of like saying "we're in this together"... and it's notably very different from what Vash does - that distance he maintains, and the way he probably would've given everything. Wolfwood keeps some for himself. As he puts it, for the sake of the orphanage kids, he has to stay alive, and that means prioritizing some lives above others, something that Vash refuses to do. But I think Wolfwood misunderstands that Vash sacrifices so much not because he "isn't human and therefore can", but because doggedly pursuing Rem's ideals and protecting humanity from Knives is just about the only thing keeping him going. Wolfwood doesn’t understand that Vash needs to believe that kindness exists in people’s hearts because he cannot understand how one could go on living otherwise.

Neither of them really have lives of their own, nor do they value themselves much. But they both continue to survive out of dedication to the paths they’ve chosen. Wolfwood kills to save the living - specifically, the kids and now Vash (it also assures he has a reason to keep fighting for his own survival - he can’t protect them if he’s dead). Vash refuses to kill to preserve the memory of someone who has died, Rem (again, this assures his survival, at least to a certain point - he can’t stop Knives if he’s dead). There’s something really interesting in that contrast, that leads them both to a “better me than them” mentality - Wolfwood the role of the weapon and Vash the role of the shield. But either way, this is, I think, why it’s hard for them to understand where the other is coming from at times, even though they see each other’s pain so clearly. These are worldviews they stick to stubbornly, born out of trauma; their respective ways of processing their continued survival from all that has happened to them.

Wolfwood is afraid to die, but he also has no hope for himself. While deeply conflicted by his actions, he has to believe there is necessity to them. So when Vash is confronting him, telling him he’s been crying out against the role he’s taken on this entire time, it shakes him, because he’s pushed all that down for so long, and it’s true. And I think he wants to believe that Vash’s sentiment is possible, but to him it just seems like false hope, even if he doesn’t want to be hurting people either. But if Vash is right, then that is even more distressing. It means that maybe he didn’t have to become a “devil”. That justifying the use of lethal force by necessity was never a justification at all. He goes from sinner with a cause to just a sinner. In that sense, him taking his own gun and putting it in Vash’s hand, aiming it at his own head and telling him to shoot if he really thinks he’s wrong… it reads as a punishment.

Not a bit of this would’ve been as effective if we were left to wonder about the characters’ intentions. Wolfwood being a bad liar, or really, not bothering to lie much, is interesting character wise and focuses the conflict on his and Vash’s internal persons and motives, rather than the external situation. I find it works much better to highlight Trigun’s themes that have cropped up so far.

Ok. I’m going to stop here because this is very long. Holy shit sorry. I just really like his character a lot and I’m excited to see where this conflict goes. They both raise some really good points that are difficult to reconcile.

I hope this actually made sense lol. We’ll see if it holds up when I get further into the manga.

#yes this is the post that i deleted by pressing ctrl z like a moron. do you understand my pain.#oh well i actually think it turned out better this time around so. maybe it's fine actually.#it’s still horrifically long. It just. Kept going…#trigun #trigunbookclub #trigun meta #trimax #nicholas d. wolfwood #storyrambles #<- ugh I need to stop.

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matan4il · 6 months

Note

Thank you for spreading information and sources! I have seen so much misinformation or straight up propaganda that it seems hard sometimes to determine what is and isn’t true.

Just yesterday, in my high school library, a few people were quite loudly talking about the white phosphorous claim, and were calling Israel a “genocidal settler state”.

I tried to refute them, and the argument got pretty loud, and was attracting others. I wasn’t worried about it getting violent, and I thought that they were obviously just fed misinformation. After all, we’re high schoolers, surely they wouldn’t just choose to hate an ethnic group… right?

And then I clearly heard one of the kids watching say “Fucking kike”.

I honestly didn’t really know what to do, I didn’t know what it meant, but it was clear that it was some kind of derogatory slur.

All this to mean, I am not Jewish, I do not even “look” Jewish, and I was called a slur for simply speaking up against antisemitism. I can’t imagine how hard it must be for you and all other Jews and Israelis right now.

Please stay safe, and know that at least some of us support you!

Am Yisrael Chai!

Hi lovely! *hugs* Thank you so much for standing up for Jewish people. Especially when it is difficult and scary. I hope you're okay! And thank you again, SO MUCH, for doing what's right. I am REALLY proud of you, and I hope you're also proud of yourself, because you deserve to be! *sends even more hugs and love*

Since you mentioned the white phosphorus lie, I'm gonna add a vid regarding that for you at the end.

You're right, they have been fed misinformation, and repetitive, false slogans, that invoke righteous rage, and sound righteous when people repeat them, but which have little to do with reality. These young people are literally being indoctrinated to see Israel as the greatest of evils, even while the Iranian and Syrian regimes are butchering their own people, as just random examples of much greater evils that are currently happening in the world, and have been for a long while. Just to get a perspective, here's a graph of the bloodiest conflicts ever:

Notice that it starts at 3 million fatalities. The Israeli-Arab conflict, with all of the buzz around it, isn't even on here. Why? Because the number of fatalities altogether, counting Israelis, pre-state Jews, Palestinians and non-Palestinian Arabs, is just a little under 120,000 people. Another example of the disproportion between how many people died in this conflict, and how much attention it gets (making it seem as being far worse than it is) can be seen in this map:

So as I hope you can see, you're looking at the ratio between the number of fatalities and the internet pages dedicated to them.

I find the most interesting bit on the map being the victims at Mariupol. I've seen this website rage that white people get more attention than POC. Well, you can see that the attention to Gazans is way more than what the people of Mariupol got.

So what makes the Israeli-Arab conflict get so much more attention that it deserves, based on its severity (as measured by the number of people killed)? There's actually NOTHING unique about it, except... that it involves the one Jewish state. Attack Israel, and you get to attack Jews. Attack Israel, and you get to attack the biggest Jewish community in the world. Attack Israel, and you get to attack and de-legitimize the country meant to serve as the Jewish safe haven. And if the high schoolers you were confronting got a diet of antisemitism at home, or from their friends, or they were simply sold this "social justice" narrative, that really stems from antisemitism, then yeah, they're going to be spreading antisemitism themselves.

And as I promised, the vid about the white phosphorus lie (it's a lie that I've heard every time Israel has been fighting Hamas, BTW. It's a lie every single time):

Hope you're taking care of yourself! And thank you again! xoxox

(for all of my updates and ask replies regarding Israel, click here)

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juneberrie · 2 years

Text

you always have been

thinking thoughts. *ೃ༄ this is very self indulgent im not sorry <3 btw the formatting is terrible 😭 also this is 1.5k words im so proud of myself its literally the longest fic i've ever written

pairing: jj maybank x fem!reader

fandom: outerbanks

warnings: swearing, mentions of being drunk, reader kind of pushes jj away, insecure!reader, stressed out!reader, mentions of jj's trash dad, fear of abandonment, sort of a smau? science hw (yes thats a warning science hw sucks), love confession, hurt/comfort <3

jj's instagram is a mess. it alternates between pictures of random objects, pictures of himself, and pictures of our friends.

lately, all of his pictures have been pictures of him and the pogues at keggers and on the boat. without me.

the most recent one is a blurry shot of him and kie at the boneyard. his hair is dripping wet and kie is holding up a red solo cup, beer sloshing over the side. the caption reads, "my brst girl 😋 ilysn kier.carrera" its so misspelled its obvious hes drunk, even without looking at the picture.

—————

↳ comments

-> jb.wifirouter ong your so drunk. ↳ heywpope its "youre" not "your" 💀 and you're durnk too ↳ sarahcamer0n lmaooo durnk

-> kier.carrera lol ilyt jj 💀 ↳ kier.carrera wsit wring emoji ❤️

—————

i groan and shut my phone off. kie knows i like jj. she's heard me rant about him since eighth grade. its fine, though. i need to focus on school. i get up and silence my phone, putting it into a drawer at my desk before going back to the papers sprawled on my bed.

science isn't my best subject, but i need this extra credit to bring my grade up. and, no pressure at all, this stupid extra credit is due by monday, at its literally sunday night. at least its pretty easy. all i have to do is write an essay about newton's laws and how they function in the "real" world. i sigh and open my textbook to the page on the first law, inertia.

as im scribbling down the beginnings of the paragraph about f=ma, my pencil breaks. well, how fucking dandy. i get up and head to my desk to grab a sharpener, and i pass the mirror next to my door.

i cringe away, then force myself to look back. the girl staring back at me is... not kie. not sarah. she's wearing a big oversized t-shirt she stole from jj and some shorts. her nail polish is chipped and her hair is practically crying for escape from the worn scrunchie.

i tear my gaze away and grab the sharpener. the clock on my desk reads 11:11 pm. i remember something kie said about making wishes at 11:11, so i think, why not give it a try? i squeeze my eyes shut and hope my wish gets to whatever magical star angel being is listening.

after i finish my essay, its 12:23 am. i grab my phone from the drawer and see a flurry of texts and instagram notifications assaulting my lock screen.

i ignore the texts — six from kie and eight from jj — and click open instagram.

my homepage is filled with pictures of the pogues at the kegger they're at. i can't help the pettiness that surges up inside me and i click on jj's most recent story, a video of him, kie, pope, john b, and sarah screaming the lyrics to bohemian rhapsody around a campfire.

—————

you replied to their story

yourinstagram looks like you're having fun :)

—————

i feel slightly terrible, but whatever. every single kegger they've been to this past week, i haven't been invited.

a text notification comes down onto my screen. it's from kie. the preview reads "im soo sorru"

what the hell? i immediately click on the text and i almost start crying.

—————

kie kie ml ♡

bro so dnt be mad but like i accidentally told jj that u liked him

im sorry

answer me please idont want yu to be mad

i dd;t mean to i swaer

y/n?? are you mad??

y/n pleeaas answre

im soo sorru

bro wtf.

ik im sorry but we were playing truuth or dsre and plpe asked if i had acrush on anybody and i sadi no i didn't but ik you did and the n jj asked who and im sorry :)

:(*** SORRY

whatever. go enjoy your kegger.

—————

what the everloving fuck. i specifically told her not to tell anyone, especially jj, and she goes and tells everyone and their mother. i've gotten a flurry of texts from pope, john b, sarah, and other pogues i suppose are at the kegger, all asking me if it's true i like jj. and, speak of the devil, jj himself has been texting me nonstop for the past thirty minutes.

—————

golden retriever lookin' mf 😋

haha kie jus told me the funnist shut

wait is she for real

wait n/n yuo like me

like fr fr?

brp answer me pls

y/nnnnnn

are you asleepo r somethinh 💀

y/n if you dpn't answer rn rn im going ovet to yiur house

—————

shit. jj can't come over right now. i look like a mess, and now im fucking crying. my gaze drifts back over to the mirror; my eyes are red and puffy and tears are streaming down my face and dripping down onto my (jj's) shirt.

—————

golden retriever lookin' mf 😋

jj please dont come over just stay at the kegger and have fun

nooo y/n im already on my wsy so its fine

—————

shit shit shit.

i throw my phone across the room and scream into my bedsheets. the pogues already didn't like me anymore; they had been going out and having fun without for weeks now, and now kie tells jj i like him? my life is fucking falling apart.

a knock at my window wakes me up from whatever sad haze i was trapped in for the last twenty minutes. jj's peering in and he smiles when he meets my gaze. i shake my head and turn away from him.

no bother letting him in, he'll probably just tell me that he doesn't like me back and to never talk to him again.

another knock, persistent, sounds from the window. i sigh and turn back.

i open the window but leave the screen up, so jj can hear me but he can't get in. "go away, j."

"nooo. wait, why are you cryiinggg?" he asks, the booze slurring his words.

"nothing. no reason. go away, please, jj," i say, my voice cracking.

his face softens and he seems to sober up a bit. "n/n, please tell me what's wrong. i hate seeing you sad," he whispers. fuck. i can't, i can't with the fucking blue eyes and the soft looks and the whispers. i open the rest of the window, and jj climbs in.

i crawl under the covers of my bed and face away from jj. i feel the bed dip next to me and he lays a warm hand on my back. its so casual, so domestic, that i want to laugh.

"sunshine, what's wrong? is this about what kie said?" he asks, gently rubbing my back.

the dam breaks. tears start flowing out of my eyes and i started shaking.

"it is about what kie said. i like you, jj, i really like you. no, i- i love you! i love you so much. i've loved you since i first saw you in mrs. williams' science class in eight grade and you laughed when she said that iron was discovered by the hittites. and i know you'll never love me back because— well— look at me! im not like kie, im not like sarah. i'm just... me! and i've been trying to pretend like you guys going to keggers everyday without me isn't a big deal because, hey, i'm swamped with school, even though its fucking intercession. and i knew if i told you, you'd hate me and you'd never talk to me again," i sob into my pillow.

jj is silent for a few seconds, still rubbing my back.

"i love you too, sunshine. i've loved you for the entirety of the time i've known you. and, you're right. you're not kie or sarah, but you're you. that's what i love about you. you are unapologetically yourself. and i'm sorry for not inviting you to the keggers. i just, i knew you were swamped and i know you don't really like parties 'nd drinking and shit. and i just want you to know that im so proud of you, honey, and— jesus, y/n. you're the only one for me. you always have been. you're the person who's been there whenever luke did something shitty to me, you've helped me with my homework, and gosh, dare i say it, you've helped me be a better person."

he chuckles. i feel him press a kiss to the back of my neck and gently bring me towards him so i'm basically in his lap. he wraps his arms around me and lays his head in the crook of my neck. we stay together in a comfortable silence for a few moments.

i sniffle. "i'm sorry, j."

"you're not the one who should be apologizing, sunshine. i love you, so much. i'm sorry if i made you feel like i'd never talk to you again or like you weren't enough; you are enough. you always have been."

#jj maybank #jj maybank x reader #jj maybank angst #jj maybank fluff #obx #obx x reader #outerbanks #outerbanks x reader #jj obx #jj obx fic #outerbanks fanfiction #jj maybank hurt/comfort #hurt/comfort #fluff #angst #[🧸] dear diary

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sunshinebingo · 5 months

Text

The Things Autumn Did To Me

Merry Christmas @thelov3lybookworm!!! 🎁 It has been so nice to meet you through @acotargiftexchange and I had a great time secretly interacting with you. I had a lot of fun experimenting with your gift too (you and I have a lot in common btw 😌). I really hope that you will enjoy the slight mess that is this fic 🤭

***

Synopsis: Two months into their convenient marriage and Gwyneth and Azriel still have very strong feelings for each other. Is it really the hate that they claim it to be, or something else? Not even they can tell.

However, another chance at tackling the failed mission that has led them to where they are will make the two spies face something that they have both been afraid of. After all, the line separating hate from desire can be very thin.

Word Count: 3.5k

Warning: None for this chapter

Find the Masterlist here

Read Chapter 1 on Ao3 or below the cut

“Wife,” he sneered.

“Husband,” she sneered back.

Azriel walked to end of the table and sat down, carefully adjusting his wings behind him.

“Glad to see that you are still alive,” he said, pulling the plate that his wife had already filled for him closer.

“Glad to know that I am still the funny one,” Gwyn replied without looking up from her own plate.

Morning greeting, checked. Daily verification that his partner was still breathing, checked. What was left to do before breakfast? Ah right... Check the food for poison. His shadows made a sweep around the table, ensuring that nothing would lead to him dropping sick or dead.

When he finally raised his cup of tea to his lips after their quick inspection, his eyes landed on a pair of teal ones across the table. Azriel internally shuddered at Gwyn’s piercing gaze and at how her lips turned into a feline smirk.

“It will happen when you least expect it,” she said, then dug a knife into her pancakes.

Azriel snorted. As if she could sneak past his trusty shadows. They might have an odd affection for her – unlike their master – but they were still loyal to him. Many believed that, being a Shadowsinger, Azriel had full control over his shadows. He refrained from letting others know that they also tended to have a mind of their own. Like the little wisp which was currently ignoring him and was slowly making its way between the bowl of fruit and the teapot to reach her.

Gwyn’s eyes followed the movement of the shadow until it reached her hand and started swirling around her fingers, especially the one adorned with a silver band – a perfect match to the one on his own ring finger – that glinted against her pale, freckled skin. Her smile softened for the shadow in a way it never did for him.

While she watched the shadow, Azriel watched her. The rich copper hair that was put up in a very messy bun atop her head with random strands that escaped and which fell around her face, her pointed ears where she wore several simple studs, her nose and cheeks across which lay a scattering of freckles, as if someone had tossed them with a careless hand, her plump lips, her eyes. Those bright eyes that had unsettled him from the very first time he had looked into them. A depthless teal ocean that often seemed like they could see straight through him. Gwyn was a creature of cruel beauty and Azriel hated her more for it.

When she looked up from the shadow playing with her hand, Azriel lowered his eyes to his food before she could see the thoughts that he always tried his hardest to hide in her presence.

“Is there something on my face?” she asked.

“Yes,” he replied, stirring his tea despite having added nothing to it.

“Well,” she went on, unable to stay quiet for long, as always. “What is it?”

“You look...” the shadows whispered an assortment of words though none that he was willing to use. Instead, he responded with, “...like you slept in a tree.”

Gwyn let out a snicker. “That would certainly be better than trying to sleep while listening to your pacing all night.”

It took him a few seconds to understand and none more to feel stupid about it. The endless pacing had nothing to do with the work he did at this hour and everything to do with him trying to focus while also attempting to block out the sound of her thumping heart and that of her mumblings while she slept. His office was right above her bedroom on the third level and he had selfishly never stopped to think that she might hear him walking around on the wooden floor when he could hear her too. He had tried to work in other rooms instead but the pestering of his shadows and their insistence to be close to her was even more annoying. At least in his office they shut up and contended themselves with spreading on the floor while listening to her.

It was the first time in the whole two months since they had been living together that she was mentioning it. Surprising of her since she often found something to complain about him. He did the same but, unlike hers, his complaints about her were at least justified.

“Some Spymaster you are,” she mumbled around a mouthful, “Not even able to walk without raising the dead.”

Azriel looked up at her and smirked. “I do it on purpose to piss you off.”

Gwyn swallowed her food. Her face remained impassive when she spoke again. “You do that well enough by just existing.”

He did not respond. He only held her gaze, risking getting lost in her ocean eyes, until footsteps were heard entering the dining room and someone cleared their throat.

“A letter arrived from the Prince of Autumn,” Roslin, their maid and one of the very few persons aware of the truth behind their union, announced and handed an envelope to Gwyn. Roslin had been Gwyn’s trusted maid when she lived in the Forest House. She was also a spy and had helped Gwyn with maintaining her second identity in the Autumn Court by covering up her secret activities. She offered Roslin her thanks with a usual friendly smile before the maid left the dining room.

“What is it?” Azriel asked, eyes narrowed on the folded paper that Gwyn took out of the envelope.

“Hopefully something that will get me as far away from you as possible.”

Her comment suddenly made him want to spend his entire day being as close to her as he could. Not because he liked her company whatsoever. Their shared mission already ensured that they spent a ridiculous amount of time together. Including sharing a house and attempting to look like an oh so happy couple in public.

“I’m afraid, dear wife, that no one can get rid of me so easily. Least of all you.”

Azriel had learned a great deal since they sealed their marriage two months ago. He obviously learned a lot about Gwyn. And, surprisingly, a lot about himself too, especially his patience and tolerance of her.

Gwyn placed the empty envelope on the table, picked up a little spoon and brandished it at Azriel as though it was a dagger. “I could kill you with this,” she narrowed her eyes at him.

“I’m trembling,” he deadpanned. The shadows snickered around him.

He had always taken pride in his infinite patience. That was one of the qualities that made him the best at his job. But somehow, the female sitting across from him, reading her letter as if she wasn’t the bane of his existence, had found ways to challenge almost all of his skills, including his ability to remain calm under any circumstance, and also his ability to charm any female and male alike. That last skill would not be of much use anymore anyway since, to the rest of the world, all of it was now supposed to be reserved for Gwyn only. His wife. The one who made him lose his godsdamned mind in every possible way.

It was not as though he had ever seduced anyone in hope of anything more but a few hours of pleasure. His family thought that he refused to commit to a serious relationship, much less marriage, because his job was too dangerous to rope a potential partner in such things. Being the Spymaster and non-official torturer of his court made Azriel do things that most would cower to do and put him in dangers few were willing to face.

The reality was that Azriel did not want anyone to feel shackled to him. Although he had witnessed many successful relationships in his life, including the couples in his found family, his childhood had left more scars on him than those on his burned hands. He had witnessed what a monster his sire had been to his mother. For so long Azriel had feared that his resemblance to the cruel male might be more than physical. He feared that the beast he became when he tortured for the protection of his court might scare away a partner, or even worse, hurt them. So, instead of taking the risk, he preferred to block out the possibility of finding out altogether.

His several centuries as a spy might have made him an expert in the art of seduction, but he was empty handed when it came to true romantic feelings. Azriel doubted anyone with a bit of common sense would willingly stay with him if they knew how little he knew about love. Save for his family, the one with which he was related in every way except for blood, he had never let anyone close enough to his heart to feel such things. That was why he had been more than a little nervous when Rhysand and Eris had suggested this marriage, despite being aware that it was one of convenience. Imposed was a better word than suggested. Though even if Rhysand was his High Lord, Azriel could have still been opposed to his brother’s orders. But he did see the necessity of the situation, especially for Gwyn.

Since she was herself a spy, he knew that Gwyn had also seen her fair share of danger and blood. He knew what she also had to do to protect her court. Being from the Autumn Court and secretly acting with Eris against her High Lord for the greater good of Prythian, Azriel knew that her position had been more precarious than his. For Gwyn, this marriage was not just to keep plotting against Beron to put Eris on the throne. It was also to save her life. If the High Lord of Autumn found out that the lady who had lived in his home her whole life was a spy trying to bring him down, death would prove to be a small mercy for her.

For most, it might seem like their paths had crossed at one of the High Lord and Ladies’ meeting in Autumn, which also involved important members of all the seven courts and had fallen so deeply in love that they had been married in the same week.

The truth was that they had met several times before that to exchange information about what Beron was up to behind closed doors. Gwyn was the one who Eris trusted to pass on information about his father’s secret plans. She had been like a beam in the night on their first meeting in a wood bordering her court. She had looked like she had been crafted by the capable hands of the Mother herself.

Gwyn had also looked like she was not happy at all with the new secret alliance between the Night Court and the Autumn Prince. Azriel had not been either. Even now, he was still suspicious of Eris’ true intentions when it came to this alliance. Azriel despised the arrogant Prince. He despised Autumn Court and anything that had to do with it. He had never wanted to work alongside one of them, but fate had apparently decided otherwise.

“I bet you would read that thing faster if it was smut,” he complained when she remained silent while her eyes kept going back and forth on the letter.

Gwyn looked up at him with another scowl. “Shut up and quit distracting me.”

With a flicker of her hand, she summoned a small golden flame that she then ran across the ivory page. She read the hidden message that Eris had left there for her before burning the entire letter along with the envelope.

“It’s an invitation from Eris,” she finally explained. “Autumn Solstice is being held at the Forest House in a week.”

Azriel cursed. As a former member, it was natural for the redhead to be invited to celebrate with the rest of her home court. But looking at Gwyn, he saw what she was not saying. This event would be their second, possibly last chance to get a hand on Beron’s plans and avoid a possible war, or at least prepare for an eventual one. Something else also shone in his wife’s eyes. A determination that this time, they would not fail. They should not. This marriage had been a last resort to hide Gwyn’s secret identity. It had been the only plan that Eris could come up with to get his cousin out of reach of his father before this one could start questioning her presence so close to his private quarters and start to suspect her.

“Well, my broody bat.”

Azriel rolled his eyes. Gwyn picked a bunch of grapes from the bowl and observed one carefully before popping it into her mouth. “I hope you’re ready to have some fun.”

“We’re going there on a mission Berdara. Not to party.”

Gwyn shrugged. “Who says one has to exclude the other.”

The two of them had different approaches to spying. Azriel preferred to keep to the dark. His shadows allowed him to remain unseen and unheard even in plain sight. He had always been the quiet kind of person, picking up clues by silently observing while his shadows searched for what was out of his reach. Gwyn, on the other, was the complete opposite. While she could also hide in plain sight, her talent was that of deception. She could have been a shape shifter with how easily she could adapt to and blend into any situation.

“How do you propose we do that?” he asked.

She pushed her empty plate aside and propped her elbows on the table.

“Well your shadows could signal us when the time is right.” She lifted the hand where a shadow was once again twirling in between her fingers and down her wrist.

“We’ll then pretend to sneak away to do what we were doing last time.”

Azriel’s fork stopped midway to his mouth. His shadows circled him excitedly, chanting their glee at Gwyn’s plan.

On the evening that had led to their current situation, Gwyn and Azriel were on a common mission to infiltrate Beron’s quarters to try and retrieve some incriminating documents about the High Lord of Autumn. These would have been the perfect proof to put Beron on trial for his actions against peace in Prythian. Unfortunately, a few wrong moves had led to them being caught where no one should have been. The only thing that had saved them then had been to act as if they had been a second away from having sex.

Azriel still remembered every single detail of it, from the very first second that Gwyn had grabbed his shirt and had pulled him down against her. He remembered how it had felt to have her in his arms, how her lips had moved fervently against his as if her life depended on it, which it did. If he closed his eyes, he could recall how her hands had felt as she had glided them across his chest, his arms, on his neck and the way she had tugged at the roots of his hair. How urgent those same hands had been when she had pull him closer by hooking a finger at the seam of his pants. The sounds she had made when his tongue had tangled with hers had been louder than the approaching footsteps of the guards. Perhaps it was in that exact moment, where his mission had shifted from those documents to her, that his shadows had started to become obsessed with her. More so than they had been since they started meeting for a few brief minutes to exchange information.

Everyone knew that Autumn Court faeries had fire in their veins. But only then had Azriel learned what the rumours were truly about. If a kiss that was devoid of feelings and which was only meant to fool the guards was like that, then Azriel did not even want to think about what a real kiss from her would be like. He refused to imagine it. The fake one had burned a big enough hole in him. Glancing at the Autumn female across the table, Azriel cursed her for having ruined every kiss he ever had before and certainly all others that he could have had if he was not bound to her.

“Or,” he proposed to prevent himself from spiralling deeper into their backstory and what it was doing to him. “We can just pretend to leave.”

Gwyn looked at him like he had said the stupidest thing ever. The last time he followed her lead had resulted in them getting married. What would happen this time? Would Eris find a random child that they would be forced to raise together to keep up their disguise? Azriel’s thoughts quieted when a shadow rushed from where it was hovering beside his left wing to remind him of what had prompted her to kiss him and he reluctantly agreed to the reasoning behind it.

He went on explaining the paths that they could take around the Forest House to avoid running into anyone if they followed his plan and how his shadows would help in the process.

“Well?”

He waited for her opinion when he finished.

“Huh? Sorry, I wasn’t listening.”

Azriel closed his eyes and sighed. Fucking Autumn courts and their fucking hard heads. Fucking wife and her fucking stubbornness.

“You come up with something then, smart-ass.”

She started to open her mouth but Azriel cut her off. “Something that does not involve fucking in Beron’s quarters.”

Gwyn huffed. Her cheeks started to turn pink, probably from the fire coursing through her and which seemed to run hotter at every outburst. “I wasn’t about to say that, you dimwit.”

Azriel gave her another roll of his eyes before returning to his food. Gwyn said nothing more. Yet by looking at her face, the emotions that he was still learning to read there, Azriel could see the gears of her mind working. She remained like this for the whole time that he finished his breakfast.

When he was done, he rose from his chair and walked to her. He grabbed her chin between his thumb and index and lifted her head until she looked at him.

“We have a week to come up with a solid plan. There’s no need to fry up your head over this right away.”

He suspected that she was worried about going back while there were still talks about her. Leaving the Forest House was not so simply done without a proper reason after all, especially for someone who had been raised there. Several rumours had already rose about the lady who had so hastily left her home to settle in the Night Court with the infamous Shadowsinger. His reputation in Rhys’ inner circle alone had fuelled the suspicions of more than one person, including Beron.

Azriel dragged his thumb along the seam of her lips, right where a trace of the syrup from her pancakes was still glistening.

“You’ll need that brain of yours to come up with more creative insults for me. The ones you currently have are terrible,” he added.

Gwyn brought a hand to the one that held her face. She slowly wrapped her long fingers around his wrist without looking away from his face. More pink spread across her cheeks and made her freckles stood out. Azriel badly wanted to know what she was truly hiding behind those eyes in this moment.

“Can you please do something for me, my dear husband?” her voice came out like a soft breeze singing in the night. Azriel had the reflex to stop his wings from twitching.

“What is it?”

He convinced himself that his breathlessness had nothing to do with that voice which was sweeter than the sticky syrup on his finger. Her hand tightened around his wrist.

“Throw yourself off a cliff,” she gritted out and forcefully yanked his hand away. Gone was the sweet, melodic voice. Her chair made a loud screeching sound as she pushed it back and stood.

Azriel held in a chuckle when she raised her chin and stomped off of the living room. “See you later, my annoying husband.”

He followed her as he made his way to his room. “Sure, my petulant wife.”

They went up the stairs and reached the door to her room first. Gwyn paused with a hand on the handle. “Don’t miss me too much, my haughty husband.” She opened the door and walked inside.

Azriel stood at the threshold of her bedroom with his arms crossed and a smirk on his lips. “You wish, my Autumn witch.”

Gwyn’s returning smile was as wicked as a witch’s. “I know you will.” And she slammed the door in his face.

To Be Continued...

#acotar gift exchange #acotar secret santa 2023 #gwynriel #marriage of convenience #haters to ... stay tuned to find out #some spying #some banter #some angst #some smut and fluff #azriel shadowsinger #gwyneth berdara #gwyn x azriel #azriel x gwyn #gwynriel fic

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1eoness · 11 months

Note

Could you make a Dom!Leon x trans ftm reader NSFW fic with some fluff thrown into there?

୨˚̣̣̣͙୧ author rambling; HI i am eating pineapple rn and i never forgot this request. just to clarify and for some context, i dont have experience of writing !reader anything out of sub afab so im sorry if this is super inaccurate or inapplicable or unsatisfying and im open to criticism on this :( :) idk im so sorry aghdfhdsfhdj i really need to work on this. oh and i read some ftm smut for this so ty to those writers :> pls criticize anything off (with reason ofc). [btw i feel like this is super bad im sorry im not feeling creative rn i have writers block :((( ]

anyway 'DOM!LEON KENNEDY X TRANS FTM READER NSFW WITH SOME FLUFF THROWN IN THERE' COMING UP. i'm sorry this took so long for such short content too :(

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

cw: fluffy dom!leon kennedy, trans ftm!reader (w/ bottom surgery) [i can always redo this if you don't like me mentioning top/bottom surgery]. praise, oral (reader receiving)

synopsis : re4r leon and he loves u and ur worried little face and he's gonna kiss it better (and fuck it better, maybe).

‿︵‿︵୨˚̣̣̣͙୧ -♡- ୨˚̣̣̣͙୧‿︵‿︵

leon loves you. he knows you're constantly worried over him being troubled over his trauma but he wants you to know, between every crevice of his clouded thoughts, that he loves you and it's the surest thing he knows. it's hard to admit but even when he loses himself, it will always, and forever be clear to him that you have his heart and there's a reason why.

you were about to get under the covers to go to sleep (after a day that felt longer than it should be.). though, you lowered your headphones to the lower end of the volume once you saw leon through the bedroom doorway.

"baby, i wanna tell you something." leon said, his quiet and soft voice only going a decibel higher as he crawls to you on your bed. he hated seeing you about to sleep with such a worried look on your handsome face.

you thought he didn't notice? even if you're his neutral-faced boy, he knows when the air around you feels more somber than usual. "do you ever feel.."

"like a plastic bag?" you quipped quickly. (i'm sorry if you don't get it)

"no, damn it." leon's mutter-reply followed with a quiet chuckle that you echoed. he likes that about you, your incessant annoying humor (but you'll never beat him in that). he sighs, and tries again. "you know, like... you're kind of.. stressed over someone else's troubles?"

to be honest, he doesn't really know how to go about it. he doesn't want you to think you're burdening him—though, you could never ever make him feel like that. leon nears you, hovering above you and adoring your face wherever his mind runs. for some reason, before you guys go to sleep he just does this. he also likes talking to you before you both go to sleep ♡.

you hum, just a little bit sleepy. "what do you meann?" you ask quaintly, and leon's heart melts at the tone of your slightly languid voice. you sounded so cute. a rather random yet soft laugh escapes before he dips down to give you a small kiss on your cheek.

"...y/n, i'll just be straight—i don't want you going to bed looking so.. upset." leon mutters softly, rubbing over the skin of your cheekbone with his thumb. maybe he shouldn't have gone into detail how heavy his mission felt. because when he was done talking, you gave him some short comfort and impulsively stood up and said that you needed to wash the dishes (and the dishwasher was literally running when you said that).

at first he thought he did something wrong and upset you, and the guilt immediately seeped in. naturally, he didn't want it to go undiscussed, that would murder him! so he went to find you ASAP. but when he went to check on you in that dim kitchen, he saw you with your back turned and trying to silence your tears. apparently, you felt so bad for him it was enough to hurt you, too. you were just too sweet—leon also felt bad. he gave you some space for a bit, though he's sorry because he really wants to be there for you and he can't afford to leave you by yourself sometimes :(

you looked a little to the side from his forward words. you didn't really know what to say in response, you were just.. tired, and also worried. leon understands this, picking up on it and showing it by giving you a reassuring, subtle smile. he wants to see you smiling, too, and he knows just how to do it. it's his favorite thing about his little boy ♡.

"..come, baby." he coos quietly as he began to take a hold on either sides of your face, knowing you don't need discussion right now. maybe loving is enough. and loving you is a way of reassuring himself, you just need to accept that :( so you be good for him and let him give you the praise you deserve (and so much more).

he kisses you on the forehead first. he loves cradling your handsome little face, placing safe pecks all over it. especially on that spot a little adjacent from under your eyes. leon hums when his lips reach your jaw, peppering it with innocent love. but will it really only go that far? "because you're the most perfect boy ever." he reasons hushedly, his left hand holding the side of your neck and caressing it gently.

oh, it's going to be one of those nights where he kisses you all over and doesn't leave you alone.. but you know better than to complain.

"y're so clingy..." you decided to joke, though you both knew you loved it. while you giggled at his antics, you can feel him smiling into the skin of your neck. he's so ready to spoil you rotten.. and you had no idea:( ♡

he moves his broad hands under your shirt, handling your being with tutelage. the fuss of the sheets make hush noise as he moves downwards, worshipping your body along the way by placing kisses over your clothed stomach. "...so?" he laughs softly against the skin of your lower inner thigh, the fluttery feeling of his lips planting a kiss on it making you shudder. he sees you, and how you turn so bashful all of a sudden.

"..tickles?" leon mumbles amusedly.

"yeah-" you mutter in response before he abruptly did it again on your stomach this time, which made you giggle. you were just too precious to him!

he holds your thighs in his hands for a minute, resting his head against your left thigh. you see the muscles on his arm flex subtly while he does so, your stomach tumbling at witnessing his strength at such a mild moment. for a minute he just gazes at you fondly, a hinting coyness hiding beneath his expression.

you were making it so tough for him. he just wants to kiss you all over . hell, he might even want to merge corporealities with you.

he doesn't speak, his eyes trailing down to your pelvic area while unnoticeably smirking to himself. you were so cute to him, so what else can he do but lift your thighs over his broad shoulders?

but he looks up at you, immediately. his fingertips are teasing at the hem of your bottom clothing, insinuating what he wants to do for you as he lightly taps at your skin. "baby, may i?" he asks with a sudden comforting tone. he'll never make you do something you don't wanna do. but like said, if you accepted, there's no promise that he's going soft on you.. but that's because he just wants you to be all nice and happy! a very innocent motive ♡

"mhm.." you hummed lowly, willingly giving him your greenlight. and has leon said he loves you?

"thank you, love.." he mutters shortly in reply before pulling your pajama bottoms just a little down. down enough for him to free your pretty shaft. he sees you blushing, covering the bottom half of your face with your sleepy hands.

and this man.. was so hard to predict!

the soft hunk of a man wants to wrap his right arm around your abdomen, pull your hips up to his face. "leon!-" you gasp abruptly with that same low voice.

"shhh, baby." leon mumbled while his left hand snaked around to cage your right thigh firmly to his shoulder. his knees dip on the comforters, pulling his boy's lower body up like he was challenged to lift a feather.

you quickly brought your hands up to take your headphones off, but leon suddenly spoke when you pried the muffs off your ears.

"keep them on." he cuts your actions off. the subtle demand of his tone says you're going to keep them on. he, somehow, reaches to turn the volume up on your headphones. you were puzzled, not knowing what he was aiming to do with such-

"a-aah!-" you yelped in utter surprise. a dribble of spit threads from his pretty lips and down onto your length..

he's hunched over as he takes your tip, then more in his mouth. he glances at your dumbfounded eyes, and you swear you could see him smirking to himself. but before you could think further, he was suddenly suckling onto your cock so firmly you started to squirm.

but that's why leon's holding you so tightly, so you can take it the way he needs you to~

you felt restricted. leon wants to steal your senses, inject pleasure in your veins like he were trying to fucking save you. he's beginning to get so hard that it makes him whine against your shaft, and he's so hard that you're making it difficult for him to think rationally.

"l-leonn! slow down!~" you cried without sense, which only urged his fingers pressing into your skin as he held you in place. he takes an inch further, his mouth working eagerly, making sure you can understand his carnal urge of making you cum with his mouth. "uh-uhh!-.... nghhh-hh..."

"mhmm..mmmm..." he hummed roughly, following with a soft growl as he slurped you up stupid. you kept moving. why were you moving so much? you were so sleepy just a minute ago.. oh, well; leon thinks. but is this man really oblivious to the fact that he can make you feel so, so good?

of course he wasn't. your erotic whines got louder and louder by the minute as your headphones disabled you from being conscious of your tone at all. your voice fell muffled upon your ears but leon was devouring it, using your moans and sobs as a motive to eat you up until you're heart-eyed. you couldn't even make sense of the music anymore as leon's mouth clouded your empty mind.

i'm gonna drown you in pleasure, baby.. leon thinks to himself while he's busy adoring you and the way your cock twitches onto his tongue :(

you were flailing slightly while leon went down on you, seeing you and your eyes struggling to keep open. he trails his left hand up and down your thigh, the sensation feeling a little ticklish. your chest rose and fell warmly, trying to reach out to stop him with a weak hand but he wouldn't let you and he feels (mildly) sorry. but it doesn't make him halt— he looks at you with sweet eyes that say 'please cum for me~'

you whined weakly at this, voice going raspy as you full on started to cry. you felt so vulnerable and so good at the same time and you trusted leon so much. you could feel it, could feel him about to siphon your orgasm out of you. just the way he wanted it..

the faucet began to spill and you were crying, the tears trickling down your cheeks messily and around your headphones, too. leon looked at you with mostly with affection, but also with a bit of sympathy. you must've had such a hard time, huh? he's so happy he can make you feel better..

"u-uhh, f-fuck, leon!! n-nno- nggh..a-ahh!-" you didn't even know what you were blabbering or retorting for anymore, but your hips twitched in his grip as you began to tremble within the fuzzy feeling of your orgasm. you were being such a pretty boy for him like this, all sensitive and crying after one minor blowjob. how were you going to handle the rest of the night like this?

it was hard to ignore his boner at this point. "mm..mhh, fuck- such a good boy f'me, huh?" he groans while he sucks on you at a slower pace, trying not to overwhelm you too hard (but still overwhelming you :( he's sorry, he swears.). "god, you're so cute.. but you have him so horny and frustrated now, what did you just do to this boy? he isn't frustrated at you.. but..

he isn't letting go of your thighs any time soon.

#BY THE WAY GUYS THANK YOU SOOOO MUCH FOR 1000 NOTES ON MY PROFESSOR LEON THING THATS INSANE IM SO HAPPY U GUYS ENJOY IT #this was so uncreative......... guh #leon kennedy smut #leon kennedy x ftm!reader #leon kennedy x ftm reader #im not sure if i revised this so im sorry #now THIS is vague as fuck.

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