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faetima · 12 hours

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THE AVEN + HANAHAKI THING YESSS I'VE BEEN THINKING ABOUT THIS FOR SO LONG BECAUSE LIKE. I know it's always super angsty when it's the reader that gets hanahaki but rine having it. imagine pushing your s/o away because you don't think you can do a relationship rn just to get hit by the stupid idiot in love disease. damn sucks to be you man

(tbh hanahaki as fun as the angst is I love aventurine so much and usually just alter hanahaki to be like less deadly because a) I DONT WANT TO BE SAD and b) the whole guilt of "I developed hanahaki because of you now love me or I WILL die" feels strange to me)(but also yum angst and the consequences of pushing someone away) ((sorry I talk a lot teehee okay bye))

𝐝𝐞𝐚𝐫. 𝐦𝐲 𝐝𝐚𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠. .

. . too bad he wasn't your darling anymore.

// tws ; slight cursing, blood ; gn reader ; modern au, hanahaki au

a/n: finally wrote the aventurine exes hanahaki au lol ,, had no idea how to finish this but i might make a part 2 !! :3

ever since you had started dating aventurine, you felt like you were a burden to him in some way. but you were never sure if you were actually a burden to him, or if that was your mind playing tricks on you.

but last week had just solidified your beliefs.

you both had fought over something petty--you couldn't be bothered to remember what it was--and harsh words had been thrown around in the process.

words that cut deep into you, practically making you bleed out.

and after that?

aventurine had ignored you for the rest of the entire week. he hadn't even glanced in your direction. it was fine if he needed some space to think, but he didn't even tell you, he just started fucking ignoring you.

your efforts to talk to him had just been met by blank uninterested violet eyes.

everything that happened in the last week had all led up to yesterday.

you stood in front of his door, swallowing your nerves. why were you so nervous?

after everything that happened, everything you felt, everything he said, you didn't think you could handle a relationship at that point.

so, when aventurine answered the door, his blonde hair unruly and lavender eyes tired, you took a deep breath and finally said the words you had been so scared of saying.

"i want to break up."

now, you were rethinking your decision.

on one hand, it felt like a large weight had been lifted off your shoulders.

on the other hand, breaking up with him had left you in your current predicament: crouched on the cold tiled floor of your apartment, hurling up bright yellow marigolds. you coughed them up, unwillingly watching as they hit your newly polished floor. they hit the ground ungracefully, clumped together with a disgusting mixture of mucus and blood. you gagged on the flowers as the sickly sweet smell of the marigolds hit you, making you feel lightheaded and sick to your stomach.

you didn't think you would get the disease again after aventurine asked you out.

you had it once, albeit briefly. it was before you had even talked to aventurine, too scared to do so. maybe it had been your shyness, or maybe you were just scared of rejection. you weren't too sure which, but it had caused you to cough out a few lemon yellow petals.

but, as quickly as the disease had started, it had ended. aventurine talked to you and started getting close to you, and your hanahaki had eventually diminished into nothing. after that, you thought it would never start again.

but you guessed you were wrong, since the disease decided to plague you.

marigold petals--slick with mucus--fell out your mouth as you coughed your lungs out. they fell almost gracefully onto the small flower pile.

you took fast and shaky breaths, collapsing. you were too exhausted to move, the hanahaki sucking all the life out of you.

it had been a week now, and the disease had just gotten worse. at this rate, it would only take a month or two until you suffocated on the fucking marigolds.

you could talk to aventurine, but he would probably just ignore you again.

you could get the surgery, but you would rather die than forget aventurine. you still loved him.

at this point, you couldn't do anything but hope that the disease would just somehow go away.

aventurine was growing increasingly worried as the days passed.

he hadn't seen you at all after you had broken up. sure, that was normal, but his gut told him something was wrong.

horrible thoughts of what could've happened to you plagued his mind, and he couldn't take it anymore.

he grabbed his keys, his coat, and headed towards your apartment.

maybe it was an invasion of privacy, but even your friends felt as if something were terribly wrong. he'd just check on you once, and never speak to you again. you'd be okay with that, right?

aventurine had knocked about a dozen times by now, but had received no answer.

he swallowed. he still had a spare key to your apartment, but what if you didn't want him to come in? what if you were just busy? what if he was breaching your privacy?

he took a shaky inhale.

fuck it.

he stepped inside your apartment, and was hit by the extremely potent smell of marigolds.

he glanced around, and froze at what he saw.

#୨୧ -- aventurine #aventurine x reader #aventurine #hsr aventurine #hanahaki #hanahaki au #modern #modern au #angst #hanahaki disease #light angst #shy reader #how to angst #aventurine come home #pls #might make a part 2 #you can tell i've never been in a relationship before #anyways hopefully yhis was acceptable

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fluffypotatey · 1 day

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ok this is super irrelevant but

this was just a thought floating in my head bc i’m writing a Hanahaki au in a relatively modern setting and started thinking, “so what would this disease fall under if you were to study it?”

#but yeah #i also texted my valuable medical source but she’s taking forever to respond SO POLL IT IS #science side of tumblr #please find this post and help me figure out this very minor question #polls #fluffy poll #hanahaki disease #hanahaki

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sillyfbiman · 20 hours

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I've been thinking about this scene in Hannibal. The rest of the organs were removed except for the lungs, and the torso filled with flowers. I saw somebody talking about the symbolism of the actual flowers themselves. But I'd like to point out that it was the lungs that were left. It sort of reminds me of Hanahaki Disease. What was Hannibal trying to say here? 🤨

#hannibal #hannibal nbc #hannigram #hanniblogging #hanniblr #hanahaki #hanahaki disease #gay???

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sleepykoi · 2 days

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Fanart for a saiouma fic a read recently where kokichi is dying from Hanahaki disease (fictional disease where the patient coughs up flower petals)

i dont draw scenes a lot so this was a fun little practice for me! im kinda pissed i wasnt rlly able to incorporate the flowers in the sink but whatevs i like it nonetheless :)

fic link: forget-me-not

time taken: 4 hrs 22 mins

#my post #my art #danganronpa #danganronpa fanart #danganronpa au #danganronpa v3 #fanfiction #fanfic #fanart #kokichi ouma #drv3 kokichi #saiouma #oumasai #hanahaki #hanahaki disease #hanahaki au

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azuremist · 11 months

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I think that more fanfiction should be written with the aim to tackle the original meaning of hanahaki. Because when the concept of hanahaki disease was originally created, it was intended to be a metaphor for suppressing one’s feelings.

Your feelings are this beautiful garden of flora inside of your chest. When you express how you feel honestly, you allow for it to grow freely. But when you hide how you feel out of fear of rejection, and try to make it smaller and smaller, the flowers become cramped inside of you, until you choke on your own feelings. Every flower you cough up is something you’ve felt, but refused to say.

The whole “dying” thing is intended to be more symbolic especially. You’re killing off bits and pieces of yourself and how you feel, because you’re afraid to express yourself.

It’s not really supposed to be, “The one I love doesn’t love me back, and I’m dying from it.” Rather, it’s more along the lines of, “Repressing your emotions is bad for you, and it’s better and healthier to express them freely, even when it’s scary.”

Which is to say that, one, the cure for the disease should be telling the person that you are in love with how you feel. How the other person feels about the person afflicted should have nothing to do with it, as the trope is meant to be about feeling your emotions unapologetically.

And that, two, it’s not an inherently romantic trope. Obviously, it has romantic applications, but it can be written for any situation where a character is hiding how they truly feel. This can include a refusal to address a specific trauma, a desire to indulge in something that they’re ashamed of, and even really practical things, like wanting to ask one’s boss for a higher position.

Although (as an aromantic person myself) I don’t agree with this conclusion about the trope, this application would also avoid people calling it arophobic. When the thing killing the character is a refusal to be honest with themselves, rather than an unrequited love, it’s on nobody’s hands but their own to save their life.

There are a ton of ways that this interpretation of the hanahaki disease could be applied in new and interesting ways in fanfiction, and I’d love to read what things people could come up with!

#hanahaki #hanahaki disease #fanfic tropes #fanfiction #ao3 #azure does a thing

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lovedumbandbroke · 2 years

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A concept in my head that been rolling around a lot:

Hanahaki, but instead of it being triggered by unrequited love, it's triggered because all the love you have for a person turns inwards because you're too afraid to show it.

So it kills you, not because someone doesn't love you back, but because you don't let it out and all that love you have stored, that could grow into something beautiful, turns on you and turns your insides beautiful.

Love is growth, and without any place for it to grow outside, it grows in. If you confess, reciprocated or not, the disease goes away because it's no longer trapped. It gives self-destruction a new meaning.

#hanahaki disease #spilled ink #writing prompt #hanahaki au #angst with a happy ending #mostly imagining my haikyuu ships tbh #iwaoi #sakuatsu #kenhina #dazatsu

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cicadaart · 2 months

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Been drawing nonstop all week but I did it!!

[Edit: but wait, there’s more!]

Bonus without text:

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kiribacute · 8 months

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Krbk Month 2023 Day 3 - Flowers

“Here are some helpful notes on how to deal with Hanahaki!”

“You mean notes on how WEAKLINGS deal with Hanahaki.”

“…um.”

#bnha #kiribaku #bakushima #bakugou katsuki #midoriya izuku #recovery girl #kiribakumonth #hanahaki disease #myart #...he's just so tired guys #please let krbk get married soon so he can finally rest

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happilykrispypirate · 8 months

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Bloodstained Petals

Pairings: Mattheo Riddle x fem!reader

Warnings: Swearing, unrequited love, mentions of blood and throwing up, violence, death, and my shitty writing.

Summary: The Hanahaki Disease is a rare disease that causes flowers to grow in the person's lungs. The only way to stop it from killing the person, is to get the one they're in love with, to fall in love with them.

Y/n sighed as she watched as Mattheo make an advance on the girl he's been keen on for the last 2 months.

Theo sighed as he saw the look on the girl's face. He had known about her love for the dickhead since the beginning.

Y/n, you're making things harder for yourself," He finally spoke up.

"What's wrong with me?" She asked the question she's been asking him for years now.

"There's nothing wrong with you, love," Theo said, "He's just a fucking idiot."

Y/n sighed again, looking down at her food, feeling too sick to even think about eating anything.

"I'm going to bed, I'll see you tomorrow at breakfast," She said before getting up and walking out.

"I need the room tonight," Mattheo said when he came back to the table, "Where's Y/n?"

"You're a fucking idiot," Theo said also getting up to try and catch up with her, but she was already gone.

Y/n woke up in the middle of the night, coughing up her lungs. She ran to the bathroom to get her something to drink so that she'd stop coughing.

After downing a glass or two of water, her stomach churned. She quickly bent over the toilet and threw up.

Her heart sank with fear as she saw the blood and the petals. She then started coughing again, more petals.

Next thing she knew she stormed to the Gryffindor common room, ignoring the fat lady's whining about waking her up, and she ran straight to Hermione's room.

"Thank Merlin, you're awake," Y/n said.

"What's wrong?" Hermione asked worriedly as she looked at the panicked girl.

As if on cue another coughing fit started and petals landed in het hand.

"Are those?"

"Yeah."

"Oh my God," Hermione said, "You have the Hanahaki Disease."

"You say that like I'm supposed to know what it means," Y/n said as she threw the petals into the bin.

"Hanahaki Disease, is caused by unrequited love."

Y/n stayed silent. She brought this upon herself... falling in love with Mattheo.

"It's very rare. It causes a flower to grow in your lungs. The only way to stop it, is to..."

"Is to what?" Y/n asked, looking at Hermione.

"Is to get the person you're in love with, to fall in love with you. They can't just say I love you, and it'll be gone. They have to actually mean it," She said.

"I'm doomed," Y/n said as she sat down on Hermione's bed.

"Y/n," Hermione said. Her words were cut short when Y/n went into another coughing fit. She patted Y/n on the back, to help in whatever way she can.

Y/n then ran to the bathroom to throw up. Hermione ran after her to hold her hair back.

"We have to get you to Madam Pomfrey," Hermione said.

"No, I don't want anyone else to know about this," Y/n said, "Especially not Mattheo or Theo."

"Y/n if you don't do something, you're going to die," She said.

Y/n didn't answer her...

Over the next few days everyone noticed that she looked a bit sick. Professor McGonagall had sent her to her dorm after she had ran out of the classroom for the third time that lesson.

So, Y/n, just laid there in her bed and stared up at the ceiling. Her room littered with petals.

Theo had tried to come by a few times every day, but she made sure he couldn't come in.

She had Hermione put a charm on her door after Pansy walked in and saw Y/n coughing up petals. Y/n tried to lie her way out of, but Pansy knew immediately what it was. So now, the only people who can enter her dorm, was Pansy and Hermione.

As Y/n laid on her bed, she heard a soft knock on her door. She thought it was Theo, but when the spoke she knew she thought wrong.

Matheo.

"Y/n, I'm just checking in on you. Are you alright?" He was silent for a few moments, "Theo says you won't even let him in."

"Please, I need to know if you're alright," He said, "You're my best friend, I care about you."

The word 'friend' echoed in her mind for the rest of the day. She was only pulled out of her thoughts when she heard Theo yelling at Hermione.

"Why can't I fucking see her?" He yelled.

"Theo, she's not feeling well," Hermione said, "She said she doesn't want to get you sick."

"You and Pansy are in there every day!" He yelled again.

"Hermione," Y/n spoke, her voice raspy. Her throat was raw because of the coughing. She was weak due to the amount of blood she lost and the lack of oxygen.

Hermione's head poked through the door, "Let him in," Y/n said. She knew she didn't have a lot of time left, so she knew she had to tell him.

Hermione nodded, glad that she was finally telling Theo.

Hermione closed the door and lifted her wand. A few moments later, she turned towards Theo and nodded her head towards the door.

Theo didn't hesitate to storm in. He stopped dead in his tracks as he saw how sick his best friend was.

He saw the petals, and immediately knew about what she had and why she had it.

"Holy fuck, love," Theo said as he knelt down next to her.

"Hey Theo," She smiled weakly.

"Why didn't you tell me?" He asked. Tears were in her eyes; he feared for her life.

"I didn't want to worry you too much," She said.

"You still worried me, love," He said as he took her hand and kissed it.

"I'm sorry," Y/n said, her eyes starting to droop.

"Get some rest, love," Theo said, "I'll be here when you wake up."

Y/n took her hand out of his and placed it on his cheek. A tear fell from his cheek, she wiped it away with her thumb before she closed her eyes.

Theo stayed for a few minutes. He thought, how could someone do this to her.

The anger consumed him. He made sure Y/n was comfortable before he stomped off to find Mattheo.

He found Mattheo with that girl. He pulled him up by the collar and pinned him to the wall.

"You motherfucker, you did this to her. She's dying because of you're fucking selfishness," Theo spat in his face.

"What the fuck man?" Mattheo said, "Who's dying?"

Theo said nothing, he dropped Mattheo on the floor before dragging him to Y/n's dorm.

Theo opened up the door and saw Hermione standing over you. She had her wand out, she was examining you.

"Y/n?" Mattheo said. His heart sank. He saw the blood, the petals. He knew.

It was because of him?

"This is all your fault. She's been in love with you for a long time, but you didn't even bother thinking about her. You made it seem like you love her but then you go after other girls," Theo said.

"I've always loved her. I just thought she didn't love me," Mattheo said.

"It's always been you."

They both looked up and saw that Y/n was looking at them. Or, Mattheo.

Mattheo went over to her, and crouched beside her bed.

"I'm so sorry I did this to you," He said, "I love you, I really do love you."

"I love you too, Mattheo," She said, smiling weakly at him. He leaned forward and planted his lips on hers. Neither of them caring about the blood and tears.

They both pulled away when another coughing fit started. Mattheo placed his hand on her back and rubbed circles.

"Why isn't she better?" Theo asked, "Shouldn't she be cured now?"

"I'm afraid, it's too late," Hermione said as tears ran down her cheeks. Pansy stood to the side, trying not to get lost in the tears.

Both the boys' hearts sank. She looked at them both.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner," She said.

"It's alright, love," Theo said as he too crouched down next to her bed, taking her other hand.

"I'll always be with you," She said, "I love you both."

"No, don't say that, you're not dying," Mattheo said, "I finally got to tell you I love you. You're not leaving me now."

She smiled at him, tears running down her cheeks.

She let go of her last breath.

"No, no, no, no, no, no, no," Mattheo begged sobbing. He lifted her up and held her to his chest as he rocked back and forth, sobbing into her hair.

Theo sobbed as he held her hands. His best friend since childhood gone.

Hermione held Pansy as they both cried.

"Don't leave me, please, don't leave me," Mattheo's voice cracked as he begged with every sob.

He blamed himself, he was too late.

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disjointed-art · 3 months

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Happy Monday!!!!!

Catch my breath part 3: Bloom pages 22 and 23

I’m a liar you get two this week because I’m nice

Eddie is going through it! But here it is bitches!!!! He’s said the fucking words!!!!!

Tumblr posts here

Comic easy to read in each part on kofi in the galleries

This is a lucky double page post but after it’s only going to be one page each again I just felt the Eddie spread wasn’t enough you know. How’s everyone feeling? Excited to see the boys figure their shit out I hope 🥰

#fanart #fanartist #illustration #digital artist #stranger things fanart #steddie #steddie fanart #illustrator #steve harrington #eddie munson #hanahaki illness #steddie hanahaki comic #hanahaki #steddie hanahaki #hanahaki comic #steve and eddie art #steddie fan comic #fan comic #hanahaki disease

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chubs-deuce · 3 months

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non-lethal hanahaki disease that is just A Little Bit Inconvenient

In my mind this is during an overlord meeting

The idea sprang from @shiveagit's wonderful brain so I sadly can't take credit for that, I just extended the joke with a shitpost skit :'D

#hazbin hotel #alastor #charlastor #radiobelle #bc that was what we had in mind with this AU concept #mf misdiagnoses what's wrong with him for so long he spends months looking like a badly pruned cherry blossom bonsai in distress #hanahaki disease #fanart #art #my art #shitpost

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memewife · 3 months

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jay mh w 🌹 plssss

giving the coughing and hacking disease to the protagonist of the coughing and hacking series

#thank u jaim i LOUV u ..#ask #rq #pitchblackkoi #hanahaki disease #marble hornets #mh #jay merrick #mh jay #my art

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morickkk · 6 months

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Denial won't help you through this

( hanahaki au no wayyyy, VERY common au but i really like it, even if its all cliche and repetitive)

#too lazy for bgs frfr #suppose to be #hanahaki disease #au??#lmao #grian fanart #hinted #scarian #desert duo #fanart #life series #trafficshipping #morarts

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hammysando · 5 months

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"When The Carnations Bloom" Jing Yuan x GN!Reader

AN: Here's the Arbiter General~ Felt kinda rushed at the end, but I'm more or less happy with how this came out! Once again likes and reblogs are appreciated! Don't be shy to leave a comment down below as well! <3 Reader is Gender Neutral!

Wordcount: 1.9K+ words~

Prompt: Reader has Hanahaki and hides it from everyone. (Except for Bailu.)

TW: Major character death (Reader), slight descriptions of blood.

Please read at your own risk!

More below the cut~

You were in the bathroom, throwing up those damned flowers again. They came up and out of your throat quickly and painfully, as you emptied out whatever you could. Tired, you leaned against the wall and glanced down at the bloodied and saliva-covered red carnations in your sink. Crinkling your nose up in disgust, you tried to regulate your ragged breathing by taking deep breaths. It proved to be difficult, but little by little, you calmed your erratic pulse. And little by little, the urge to break out into violent coughs ceased. Moving to get back into bed, you groaned softly as a knock sounded at the door. Vowing to murder whomever showed at your door, you wearily trudged over.

“(Name)! General is slacking off again!” A boyish voice shouted from the other side, drawing a long sigh from you. Ah, it was Yanqing.

Begrudgingly, the door swung open and you scowled slightly at the thought of having to drag Jing Yuan back to the Seat of Divine Foresight. Yanqing stood there, looking just as annoyed as you did, and the two of you shared a knowing look. The general was once again skipping out on paperwork. Stepping out in whatever you were wearing currently, you didn't care for the strange looks you garnered from your neighbors.

“Again?” You grumbled this softly, trying to ignore the flowers that started to tickle the back of your throat, just from the thought of Jing Yuan. Ah, how could you have fallen for someone so frustrating, yet so handsome?

“Again. I couldn't think of anyone to get him to do his work but you.” Yanqing said this apologetically but started to lead you away to where the general slumbered. The entire way, you grumbled about how you should start charging Jing Yuan. You were acting as his very own human alarm, after all.

The arduous journey led you straight to a certain garden. And lo and behold, the snow haired man slept soundly under an arbor of wisteria and an assortment of other flowers. You fought down the flowers that clogged your throat as your eyes found his form. Letting out a strained grunt, you stalked over to Jing Yuan, and prepared to smack him upside the head. Yanqing watched on curiously. He had seen this spectacle several times, but you seemed… Tired, to him. Less eager to smack the general. Though as soon as his thoughts started to wander, a resounding smack of skin on skin drew his light topaz colored eyes to the source.

Jing Yuan rubbed the back of his head, a relaxed and even amused smile on his face as he regarded you. Meanwhile, you frowned at him disapprovingly. It looked like a lion being scolded by a very unhappy sparrow. It was comical to any passerby, if it weren't for said lion being the General of the Xianzhou Luofu.

“Jing Yuan, how many times are you going to slack off?” You scolded him, expression softening. Ah, you could never stay mad at him. Those sincere honey eyes of his made you weak to your knees. Keeping the flower petals at bay, you simply crossed your arms and looked at him expectantly.

“Well my dear (Name)... If I didn't slack off, I wouldn't get a chance to see you everyday.” His deep voice said this with velvety smoothness as he chuckled and smiled at you fondly. “You know how boring it is to do paperwork everyday. What if I want to see my favorite-”

You flicked his forehead and sighed through your nose. His words caused the roots of the flowers in your lungs to tighten and contract. It hurt to hear those words from him. You almost wished he would stop saying such things. And to stop looking at you with such softness. Every action and look from the cloud-haired man fueled the slow agony you suffered.

“Seat of Foresight. Now.” You crossed your arm tighter as he sighed heavily and stood.

“Anything for you, little sparrow.”

The weeks passed on uneventfully, and your routine stayed the same. You coughed up those dreaded carnations, rouge color matching that of your blood. Then tiredly, you would drag Jing Yuan back to his office to fulfill his duties before going about your own day. It was troublesome at times, but it was comfortable. Admittedly, you enjoyed what little time you had with the general. After you retired from the frontlines, you gradually saw Jing Yuan less and less. This was one of the few ways you could see him still, without seeming a bother.

More weeks passed, and you seemed to grow weaker and weaker as the deep red carnations started to bloom. And yet, you couldn't bring yourself to tell anyone of your predicament. Of your beautifully cruel disease, as it destroyed you quietly. The flowers came heavily now, blooming delicately in full.

One fairy night in summer, a knock on the door sounded softly. You weren't surprised. In fact, you had expected this to happen. You see, as your condition worsened, you distanced yourself. No longer, did you go to rouse the general from his slumber. No longer did you go to the Seat of Divine Foresight at the request of Jing Yuan, only to end up playing a game of starchess with him. Honestly, you had expected him to come sooner. You opened your front door, revealing the tall man. His golden eyes looked down at you, screaming their worry despite the calm smile on his face.

“Jing Yuan.” You spoke softly, acknowledging him.

“Little Sparrow.” He acknowledged you back, dipping his head toward you.

A silence ensued as you both stood there, gazing at one another. The sun had started to die in its grave in the sky, giving way to a plum sunset. And yet, nothing was said. Eventually, when the plum shades faded into inky indigo, Jing Yuan spoke. His tone was calm, with undertones of hope.

“Will you be there to scold me tomorrow?” It was a silly question that made laughter bubble up in your throat. The petals accompanied it, however. Fighting them back, you managed to crack a smile at the general.

“I'll be there.” His smile widened and his eyes melted into pools of honey, uncontrollably fond.

“Then I shall look forward to tomorrow. Until then, Little Sparrow.”

You sobbed softly to yourself that night as the stars made their nightly travel across the dark expanses of space.

Lady Bailu frowned at you deeply, anger and sorrow pooling in her eyes. Looking ready to cry, she turned away and sniffled violently. The Vidyadhara healer had just examined your condition, and her conclusion was not a favorable one. Fists clenched, she turned back to you.

“You're going to die very soon, (Name). If you don't do something. The carnations are in full bloom.. At this rate you'll suffocate on them and-.” The tears started to slide down her cheeks as she glared up at you. Your only response was a sorrowful smile.

“I'm a coward, Lady Bailu. I could never burden Jing Yuan.” You sighed.

“Then let me treat them. Let me get rid of them for you-” You cut her off, shaking your head gently.

“And lose the ability to love? To be considered alive?” Bailu could not fight against you. Instead, Bailu sobbed into your shoulder, gripping you tightly as you bent down and gently hugged her small, quivering form. You would miss her. Miss Yanqing. Aeons, you'd even miss Fu Xuan and her nagging. And Jing Yuan and his lazing about.

The following days, you spent packing your things into boxes and labeled them with names of the ones you wanted them to go to. Your precious sword collection would go to Yanqing of course. Qingque got your prized mahjong board made from the finest jade. And Jing Yuan received the first tea set you ever got. It had been a gift from the man himself. A retirement gift, as he would have put it. You knew he'd take good care of it. Saying goodbye to these things were bittersweet. But, you couldn't bring yourself to bear your soul to Jing Yuan. And you couldn't undergo Bailu’s treatment to rid yourself of these carnations in your lungs. All living things were built to love. Platonically or not. If you lost that feeling, could you even consider yourself ‘alive’, anymore? You sighed softly as you finished the last of the box. You were certain that they would be treasured and treated well. The last thing to do, was to pen the letters.

News of your death spread through the Xianzhou Luofu like wildfire. Many were in disbelief, while some mourned for you. Jing Yuan had been shocked by this, not wanting to believe it. His footsteps echoed on the pavement of your home’s walkway. No, he needed to see you. He needed to put the worries and fears in his mind to rest. You couldn't die. You were General (Name) (Last name), the Blade Singer. The one who slayed thousands of abhorrentions of abundance. There couldn't be a possibility you had died.

The air of your home was already going stale without your presence. Though it also carried the faintest wisps of your scent. Jing Yuan’s chest tightened with pain as he stared at the boxes with names. At the letters. At you, so still in your bed. Your eyes were shut peacefully as red carnations surrounded you, in full bloom. One could almost mistake you as simply sleeping. Bailu was at your side, sobbing, along with a Yanqing who clung onto your hand, head bowed as hot tears slid down his face and hit the floor with a dull thunk.

Your funeral was one lush with flowers, and held on a day as sunny as always. The summer fairy lights seemed to gather around your starskiff, adorned with different blooms, to send you off. A silent farewell. Jing Yuan watched with unsteady honey eyes. He had lost so much already. To the point where he assumed that losing would no longer hurt him. Alas, he had been wrong. Losing you, brought an indescribable hurt to him. Chest clenching painfully, Jing Yuan excused himself soon after your funeral.

Wandering aimlessly, the General found his feet taking him to the garden you had both met in when you were young. He had fallen asleep, and you were running away from your mentor. A wistful smile found its way onto Jing Yuan’s face before he slipped a letter out of his pocket. In your handwriting, his name was penned. Jing Yuan couldn't bring himself to open it before, scared that if he acknowledged your passing, you would truly disappear from this world. But now, steeped in an indigo peace, he found the courage to open the neatly sealed envelope.

It carried your scent and your presence in every line. Every brush stroke.

To you, who I loved;

This journey has been a strange blessing and curse. Though, I would rather not have had it at all. Unfortunately, it seems unrequited love has been my undoing. I'm sure Lady Bailu has filled you in on everything… And I would like to apologize for being such a coward.

I loved you, but I couldn't bring myself to say it. Perhaps it was my own fears that stopped me. I didn't want to burden you with my feelings. But I think most importantly, I didn't want to relearn the pain of losing someone I loved. We've lost so much, Yuan. I couldn't bear to lose you too. It was my own shortcoming. And it may be selfish and too late to say now, but...

I love you, Jing Yuan.

-(Name) (Last name)

Jing Yuan traced your penmanship with his fingertips. And a single hyacinth flower fluttered from his lips.

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