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faetima · 1 day

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𝐛𝐮𝐛𝐛𝐥𝐞 𝐠𝐮𝐦. .

. . these seven years would be pretty dumb.

// tws ; slight cursing, blood ; gn reader ; modern au, hanahaki au

a/n: bubble gum by clairo :3

all you could think about was him.

your classmate with light and airy strands of porcelain white hair, akin to the color of an elegant swan’s feathers, all tied together daintily with a single thin vermilion red ribbon.

your classmate with those piercing honey speckled eyes which could see right through you, as if you were translucent.

your classmate who was always dozing off, whatever the reason may be.

your classmate who always managed to appear ethereal somehow, even after just sleeping.

your classmate, jing yuan.

you doubted he ever noticed you. he was always either dozing off quietly or caught up in chatting with fu xuan.

oh, you realized he was doing the latter right now.

fu xuan — more commonly known around the school as diviner fu — gazed up at jing yuan with her amber eyes, a serious shimmer in them. her lilac pink hair was divided into two neatly made ponytails, secured by four golden ji hairpins. they glinted in the bright, blaring fluorescence of the lights in the classroom.

jing yuan leaned down and she murmured something in his ear.

he returned to his usual standing position, now also wearing the same serious expression fu xuan was.

jing yuan glanced around the room, ochre eyes flitting.

you stared at him, curious.

his eyes landed on you, narrowing.

surprised, you panicked.

oh god. looking down would make it obvious i was staring at him. i could keep looking at his direction and pretend that i was looking at soemthing else? but what if he thinks i was looking at him? what the fuck do i do? oh, wait, he looked away.

never mind, he’s coming towards me.

oh fuck he’s coming towards me.

oh fuck. ohfuck. ohfuckohfuckohfuckohfuck-

"hey," jing yuan said, voice deep and a bit rough. he smiled slightly at you, immediately sending off a flurry of butterflies in your stomach.

"oh. uhm, hi," you greeted, your voice light and airy, nervousness bubbling up. you had been a shy person all your life, and your crush randomly coming up and talking with you did not help in easing your nervousness.

jing yuan glanced back at fu xuan, who shook her head furiously at him, signaling something to jing yuan you were unaware of. he rolled his eyes, but decided to comply with her.

"sorry for, uhm, bothering you. i was just wondering if you had the notes we were supposed to copy down today? i kind of fell asleep, and fu xuan doesn’t have them, so i was wondering if you did," he mumbled, an excuse for why he came over to you.

"oh, uh, yeah, i have them," you said, rummaging in your backpack to find your notes. pulling them out, you handed them over to jing yuan.

"thanks," he smiled, "i’ll return them to you tomorrow if that’s okay?"

you nodded.

he nodded.

then he walked away.

you probably should’ve tried talking to him a bit more. maybe make small talk. oh, god, but what if he started thinking you were interested in him if you did that? that you were trying too hard?

yeah , you convinced yourself, mustering up an excuse for your own cowardice. maybe it was better you hadn’t.

--

you had gotten back home from school. setting your backpack aside, you immediately made a beeline for your room.

as soon as you shut and locked the door, you began hacking up fuchsia and créme colored bleeding hearts was how you spent most of your time now.

every night after dinner, or the few bites of food you ate that you thought as dinner now, you'd go to bed with your dove-white sheets pulled up to your neck and with burgundy blood and toxic red bleeding hearts pooled around you.

every morning, you’d wake up wondering if today would be the day he'd finally notice you, if he'd finally know you existed. of course, you knew it was just wishful thinking, but you still craved for him to notice you, to talk to you for more than ten seconds.

and thinking about him lead to wheezing up even more bleeding hearts. all stained vermillion with blood and slick with mucus.

it was the the same cycle over and over again. rinse and repeat.

how you yearned for it to end. but you knew the cycle — and your hanahaki — could only end in one way at this point — death.

you had discovered that you had hanahaki a little too late. now you couldn’t do the surgery without the abnormally big chance of dying.

if you were to die either way, what was the point of doing the surgery then?

--

your hanahaki had gotten worse over the last few weeks.

now you coughed up whole bleeding hearts, coated and stained so much in your blood to the point where the original color of the flowers was unrecognizable.

now you wheezed the damned flowers whenever you fucking laid your damn eyes on him . now you avoided looking up from your seat even more than you used to.

now you hacked up the fucking flowers to the point where you would fucking blackout.

now you wanted to die. wanted to be put out of your damn misery.

--

you wished you could talk to him, but every time you began to walk up to him, you overthought everything and backed out like the coward you were.

it was like you were trapped in some sort of time loop from a horror movie — only instead of running away from something terrifying, this was more of a endless cycle of you wanting to talk to him but never doing so, one that you didn't quite know how to escape.

maybe, just maybe you should try and talk to him.

..

maybe tomorrow.

#jing yuan x reader #♡ -- jing yuan #jing yuan #jing yuan x you #hanahaki #hanahaki au #modern #modern au #angst #hanahaki disease #light angst #high school #shy reader #tw slight blood #how to angst #honkai star rail #hsr #honkai #what to tag pls

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faetima · 1 day

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WHATTTT 🙀🙀🙀 TJANK OYU GUYS SM OMGOMGGOMM

#celebrating blushing kicking my feet giggling smiling dancing grinning singing jumping up and down rn #˚◞♡ ⃗ responses !!#YIPPEEE #IDK IF 1K IS CONSIDERED CELEBRATION WORTHY OR WHTVR BUT THNAK YOU GUYS SM OMGGG

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faetima · 1 day

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here's the post if anyone's curious <3: dear. my darling

#aventurine x reader #aventurine #hsr aventurine #aventurine come home #PLEASE I'M AT 80 PITY

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faetima · 1 day

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THE AVEN + HANAHAKI THING YESSS I'VE BEEN THINKING ABOUT THIS FOR SO LONG BECAUSE LIKE. I know it's always super angsty when it's the reader that gets hanahaki but rine having it. imagine pushing your s/o away because you don't think you can do a relationship rn just to get hit by the stupid idiot in love disease. damn sucks to be you man

(tbh hanahaki as fun as the angst is I love aventurine so much and usually just alter hanahaki to be like less deadly because a) I DONT WANT TO BE SAD and b) the whole guilt of "I developed hanahaki because of you now love me or I WILL die" feels strange to me)(but also yum angst and the consequences of pushing someone away) ((sorry I talk a lot teehee okay bye))

𝐝𝐞𝐚𝐫. 𝐦𝐲 𝐝𝐚𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠. .

. . too bad he wasn't your darling anymore.

// tws ; slight cursing, blood ; gn reader ; modern au, hanahaki au

a/n: finally wrote the aventurine exes hanahaki au lol ,, had no idea how to finish this but i might make a part 2 !! :3

ever since you had started dating aventurine, you felt like you were a burden to him in some way. but you were never sure if you were actually a burden to him, or if that was your mind playing tricks on you.

but last week had just solidified your beliefs.

you both had fought over something petty--you couldn't be bothered to remember what it was--and harsh words had been thrown around in the process.

words that cut deep into you, practically making you bleed out.

and after that?

aventurine had ignored you for the rest of the entire week. he hadn't even glanced in your direction. it was fine if he needed some space to think, but he didn't even tell you, he just started fucking ignoring you.

your efforts to talk to him had just been met by blank uninterested violet eyes.

everything that happened in the last week had all led up to yesterday.

you stood in front of his door, swallowing your nerves. why were you so nervous?

after everything that happened, everything you felt, everything he said, you didn't think you could handle a relationship at that point.

so, when aventurine answered the door, his blonde hair unruly and lavender eyes tired, you took a deep breath and finally said the words you had been so scared of saying.

"i want to break up."

--

now, you were rethinking your decision.

on one hand, it felt like a large weight had been lifted off your shoulders.

on the other hand, breaking up with him had left you in your current predicament: crouched on the cold tiled floor of your apartment, hurling up bright yellow marigolds. you coughed them up, unwillingly watching as they hit your newly polished floor. they hit the ground ungracefully, clumped together with a disgusting mixture of mucus and blood. you gagged on the flowers as the sickly sweet smell of the marigolds hit you, making you feel lightheaded and sick to your stomach.

you didn't think you would get the disease again after aventurine asked you out.

you had it once, albeit briefly. it was before you had even talked to aventurine, too scared to do so. maybe it had been your shyness, or maybe you were just scared of rejection. you weren't too sure which, but it had caused you to cough out a few lemon yellow petals.

but, as quickly as the disease had started, it had ended. aventurine talked to you and started getting close to you, and your hanahaki had eventually diminished into nothing. after that, you thought it would never start again.

but you guessed you were wrong, since the disease decided to plague you.

marigold petals--slick with mucus--fell out your mouth as you coughed your lungs out. they fell almost gracefully onto the small flower pile.

you took fast and shaky breaths, collapsing. you were too exhausted to move, the hanahaki sucking all the life out of you.

--

it had been a week now, and the disease had just gotten worse. at this rate, it would only take a month or two until you suffocated on the fucking marigolds.

you could talk to aventurine, but he would probably just ignore you again.

you could get the surgery, but you would rather die than forget aventurine. you still loved him.

at this point, you couldn't do anything but hope that the disease would just somehow go away.

--

aventurine was growing increasingly worried as the days passed.

he hadn't seen you at all after you had broken up. sure, that was normal, but his gut told him something was wrong.

horrible thoughts of what could've happened to you plagued his mind, and he couldn't take it anymore.

he grabbed his keys, his coat, and headed towards your apartment.

maybe it was an invasion of privacy, but even your friends felt as if something were terribly wrong. he'd just check on you once, and never speak to you again. you'd be okay with that, right?

--

aventurine had knocked about a dozen times by now, but had received no answer.

he swallowed. he still had a spare key to your apartment, but what if you didn't want him to come in? what if you were just busy? what if he was breaching your privacy?

he took a shaky inhale.

fuck it.

--

he stepped inside your apartment, and was hit by the extremely potent smell of marigolds.

he glanced around, and froze at what he saw.

#୨୧ -- aventurine #aventurine x reader #aventurine #hsr aventurine #hanahaki #hanahaki au #modern #modern au #angst #hanahaki disease #light angst #shy reader #how to angst #aventurine come home #pls #might make a part 2 #you can tell i've never been in a relationship before #anyways hopefully yhis was acceptable

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faetima · 4 days

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𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐭𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞 . .

. . he's just had a little taste of infatuation. or is it obsession?

// tws ; stalking, taking photos w/o knowledge of other person ; gn reader ; yandere au

a/n: i swear i'll start writing the aventurine exes hanahaki au after i post this

click!

a soft flash of white light, akin to the color of the small wings that adorned him, appeared before sunday as the camera went off. it encased you in a photo, forever embedding your beauty into a polaroid.

you were so pretty.

too pretty.

even a photo couldn’t capture your full beauty — you were just too beautiful.

too pretty.

too heavenly.

too ethereal.

all sunday wanted was you. all he needed was you. he just loved you so, so much — a little too much, if you were to ask robin or aventurine or anyone other than him about it.

sunday was meant to be yours. you had ripped his heart out, claiming it as your own (well, not that he minded too much. you could have him as well for all he cared!).

you couldn’t just leave him like this after you had yanked and twisted and pulled his heart out of his body, leaving him only to bleed out.

sunday felt as if he would die without you.

you were oxygen, the only thing breathing life into him.

an oasis in a desert, which he would die without.

sunday wanted you. no, wait — scratch that. he needed you.

he.

needed.

you.

well, that would have to wait. for now he would have to settle with having only a minimal amount of photos and polaroids of you.

well, if "few" meant having walls and walls and walls of his mansion covered and plastered with only photographs of you.

he just needed you so bad. so, so bad.

if only you noticed him. if only you were bewitched with his heavenly and ethereal appearance like he was with yours. if only his words, strung together carefully and ever-so-delicately so he could tie you up defenseless, worked on you. if only his cunning yellow eyes — just like the chesire cat's — enchanted you, leaving you in a trance, as your eyes did to him.

every time you were around him, his heart raced, as if it would leap out of his chest at any moment. but, unfortunately, he couldn’t say the same about you, which was a tragedy indeed.

his need for you was more than desire or a craving. it was as a human needed water. if they didn’t have it for a prolonged amount of time, they would perish.

as would he if he didn’t have you.

though, it would only be but a matter of time before he had you tied up with his strings of words too, just like he had done to everyone else. even if it meant following you everywhere you went, unbeknownst to you. perhaps one would call it stalking, but it wasn’t his fault he had such an unhealthy obsession with you.

you would be his, akin to how he was yours.

you will be his.

another click.

another photo.

another step closer to having you.

#*ੈ✩ -- sunday #sunday hsr #sunday x reader #sunday #hsr sunday #yandere #yandere au #yandere sunday #yandere hsr #hsr #honkai star rail #tw stalking #phototaking #gn reader #sunday x you

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faetima · 5 days

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YOUR WORKS ARE SO GOOD HOLYYY ♥️♥️

OMFG HWAT THANK YOU SMM 💞💞

#˚◞♡ ⃗ responses !!

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faetima · 5 days

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guys pls send me requests 😢😢

#hanahaki #hanahaki au #hanahaki disease #jing yuan x reader #sunday x reader #sunday hsr #hsr sunday #sunday #scaramouche x reader #scaramouche #genshin scara #genshin impact #genshin #yandere #aventurine x reader #aventurine #hsr aventurine

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faetima · 5 days

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Hi! For the 1k event could I request hcs of Wanderer or Alhaitham (either works!) with a shy but extroverted s/o? Like they love talking and socializing, but their shyness prevents them from doing so. Hurt/comfort, fluff, or angst would be fine :>

Love your writing btw!!

extroverted introverts

synopsis - when their s/o who loves socialising has a shyer personality

includes - alhaitham, wanderer

warnings - gn!reader, reader is shy but loves talking, fluff, slight angst, wc - 713

a/n: <3 thank you! why not both?

alhaitham ★↷

↪alhaitham isn't exactly a people person, he has those headphones on him for a reason now. he can happily go about his day not socialising with anyone outsiders of who he needs to speak to and even then he likes to keep it brief and gotten over with.

↪so when he first saw how shy you could be he kind of just assumed you weren't that fond of talking to people and that was all. it wouldn't take him long until he could see how you always looked like you had something to say when you were with people but never did.

↪he wanted to chalk it up to your shyness but when he saw you with familiar faces, himself included, you seemed to talk forever and it was like you would never be shy. it took him a short while to figure out you did like talking to people but you had a shyer side which made it very difficult for you.

↪now, if you were anyone else he'd see it as a tough luck situation but fortunately he cared for you. he wouldn't really waste any time in asking you about it and would quickly add that he'd be willing to try and help you. a small part of you wanted to tease him for becoming so willing to talk to people for your sake.

↪whenever you'd accompany alhaitham anywhere and he happened to be ambushed by someone he'd starrt helping you get incorporated into the conversation by always prompting you subtly - he actually liked doing this because he didn't have to talk to the other person but at the same time you could happily talk to them.

↪he would never pry into why you would become so shy sometimes as he knew it wasn't really his business but he'd still help you. sometimes he'd catch you becoming a bit more extroverted and see you talking to new people and a part of him would feel happy for you.

↪he did actively enjoy bringing you into conversations subtly as you always enjoyed talking with others and he didn't, so it'd normally take the attention off of him which meant he didn't have to talk to anyone unnecessarily.

wanderer ★↷

↪wanderer is quite a mixed bag when it comes to socialising with others. a part of him can be very outgoing and he likes to talk without a filter, uncaring to those around him especially when he's annoyed - much to nahida's dismay. another part of him can be quite quiet when it comes to socialising, preferring to silently judge while others talked.

↪didn't mind that you seemed to be shy and rather hesitant about talking with others. you'd probably have to tell him directly about how you loved to talk with others but you simply couldn't get over your shyness because he wouldn't really pick up on it precisely.

↪like maybe he'd notice how you always looked like you wanted to say something but didn't but he wouldn't really put two and two together. he'd also be slightly unsure of how to help because it's not like you can force somebody to just get better at talking to people.

↪he'd probably start noticing how much you actually did like socialising when he saw how quickly you could change from being shy to outgoing - specifically when talking to people you're quite familiar with. then he'd start noticing how much more outgoing and sociable you are, even with him.

↪he might be a little useless to begin with but maybe he'd start developing a more subtle approach where when he's talking to somebody he'd ask for your input and ease you into the conversation - it makes him very proud when he sees how comfortable you get when you get used to talking to someone and start enjoying the conversation.

↪or maybe if you didn't mind he'd start pushing you into taking the lead when you're both out and about. small things that would help you overcome your shyness and be able to have that confidence to be able to happily talk to anyone.

↪maybe he'd even let you talk his ear off late at night because he enjoys listening to how passionate you can be when talking-

akutasoda's 1k event

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faetima · 5 days

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I NEED A PART TWO TO SAFETY SCISSORS STATTTT. WHAT ABOUT SCARAS POV??? IS HE DENSE??? I need the reader to DIE and scara finds out and hes zcrushed and RAGH ANGST RAGHHHGHGGRR

𝐜𝐡𝐞𝐦𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐢𝐥𝐬 . . .

. . he just keeps losing everything again and again and again.

// tws ; slight cursing,, ; gn reader ; modern & high school au, hanahaki au

a/n: THANK YOU SM FOR HTIS IDEA OMG ILY

link to safety scissors !!

in his dreams, everyone else was irrelevant.

it was only him and you, you and him.

but now, with you gone, he could only wish his dreams were reality.

if only he wasn’t so fucking dense, if only he saw the way your eyes followed him whenever he was in class or in the halls or in the park or anywhere.

he wished he saw the adoration in your eyes before they were dull, showing the everlasting sign of death.

he wished he saw how your eyes lit up whenever he entered the room before they were blurred and bleary with the cloud of death.

he wished he saw how your eyes followed him like contrails before they were staring blankly at the ceiling of your house.

why did he have to be like this?

if he had just told you his feelings maybe you wouldn’t be dead.

maybe he wouldn’t have lost you.

but maybe life was a losing game for him. he didn’t even have the chance to win—he just lost everything again and again and again until there was nothing left for him.

he lost his mom, his childhood friends, everything.

even you.

—

he remembered that in middle school he had been assigned a project with you.

the moment he heard your name with his, he felt the unusual sensation of butterflies fluttering in his stomach.

at the moment, he had just wished you would disappear so that these fucking feelings would go away.

he regretted thinking that so, so much.

karma just kept eating him up and spitting him back out.

—

you and him had both been working on the project, and one thing had led to another and he had suddenly wound up with your left earbud in his ear.

scaramouche wanted you to hate him, wanted you gone.

so he scrunched up his nose in disgust, trying to act indifferent to you and your feelings.

“you listen to this fucking stuff?” he spat, hoping you couldn’t see through his guise.

you had just stayed silent, switching the song.

scaramouche could almost hear the silent cracking of your heart.

—

acting indifferent wouldn’t help anything.

scaramouche should’ve known from all the mistakes he’d done in the past that indifference would go against him, it would never help him.

but he had still acted uncaring anyways.

you were dead now, and all because he decided to act apathetic in order to hide his own feelings for you.

—

he had a memory that, once, in class, you were both seated together. in what seemed to be a haze of nervousness, your leg bounced up and down as you took shaky breaths, anxious and flustered by the fact he was sitting next to you.

scaramouche didn’t know what to do.

maybe if he acted bitter and shit you would stop liking him and these stupid fucking feelings would go away, right? it had always worked in the past, so it wouldn’t fail him now.

but it did. it faltered and failed him and now he regretted it all.

“can you stop that?” his sharp voice cut through the deafening silence of the classroom like a butter knife. you had glanced up, your eyes meeting his. scaramouche’s hands were clenched into fists, cold and clammy from anxiety.

wait, why the fuck was he nervous?

he took a shaky breath in, hoping this angry guise was working. he tried to scowl at you, watching as your eyes filled with the lightest layer of tears, making your eyes look like glass.

“sorry,” he silently watched as you apologized, immediately dropping your gaze down to the desk. scaramouche felt a soft pang of regret, but decided to ignore it.

“whatever,” he spat out, rolling his eyes. his neck and face were burning and his ears had the lightest tint of pink to them. scaramouche prayed that you didn’t notice how flustered he got.

—

maybe if he had confessed, you wouldn’t be gone now.

but no, he just had to keep losing everything again and again and again and again.

he broke into a coughing fit, bringing a hand up to cover his mouth.

and, as scaramouche lowered his hand, a singular purple petal fluttered onto his palm.

#✦ -- scaramouche #scaramouche x you #scaramouche x reader #scara x reader #scaramouche #light angst #angst #how to write angst #modern au #hanahaki #hanahaki au #hanahaki disease #high school #shy reader #scaramouche x shy reader #part 2 #modern #high school au #gn reader

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faetima · 7 days

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𝐰𝐡𝐲 . .

. . here you were, dove white bedsheets pooled around you, as fat, crystalline tears rolled down your face, an ugly reminder of what you had become.

or, a small fanfic based on boynextdoor’s album: why..

// tws ; none!! :3 ; gn reader ; modern au

a/n: stan boynextdoor guys

𝟭. 𝗖𝗥𝗬𝗜𝗡𝗚

between umbrellas on a rainy strеet

your words broke thrоugh even thе ѕound of rаin, goodbye

i јust shut mу mоuth

i pretend not to hear agaіn

sobs wracked your body.

it’s okay. you’re okay , you thought to yourself, rocking your body back and forth, face buried in your knees.

the lies kept increasing.

lies towards yourself, towards him, towards anyone and everything.

you were fine , you told yourself.

as if.

here you were, dove white bedsheets pooled around you, as fat, crystalline tears rolled down your face, an ugly reminder of what you had become.

of what you had become ever since he left you.

a crying mess.

even the way he had broken up with you reflected the situation — rain pouring down, thumping over your roof as he stood there, umbrella in hand. his jet-black bangs were plastered to his face, wet, as if he had left without an umbrella originally.

your eyes had a joyful gleam as you beamed at him, crinkles at the corners of your eyes a mirror of your happiness.

until he shattered it, alongside your heart, of course.

it was like he had been cradling your fragile, glass heart, taking care of it, protecting it, until he decided to throw it full-force at the ground.

“i have to tell you something,” he had said, cold eyes analyzing you, examining your very being.

thinking nothing of it, you had asked what. he dropped your glass heart as he spoke his next words.

“i want to break up.”

and, so, you were here, crying like a baby.

a fucking baby.

you had thrown away the jacket you had worn when you had asked him out, trying to look your very best.

you wanted to look like an adult, mature and collected, coming to terms with any ups and downs life had to offer.

but, as it turned out, you were still a kid inside. ever so sensitive — fragile and delicate, able to break apart at any moment.

this was so, so much more cruel than any mean words he could speak to you. saying he loved you, whispering sweet nothings, and then dropping the bomb on you? saying he never loved you?

saying everything was meaningless to him?

you had gone to a cafe a few days prior, and what you saw made your heart crack all over again.

he was there, sitting alongside his friends.

worst thing?

he was smiling.

he was fucking smiling.

after what he did to you, he had the audacity to laugh, to smile?

it hurt so, so much, watching him smile, watching him laugh, knowing it would never be you making him do so ever again.

it made you hurt.

it made you sick.

and, so, you laid on your bed, crying like a baby.

crying like a baby.

i’m crying for you, baby.

𝟮. 𝗕𝗨𝗧 𝗦𝗢𝗠𝗘𝗧𝗜𝗠𝗘𝗦

but you —

heard your mascara's running from crying everyday

kicking yourself now

i never felt better

he had said he didn’t like you swearing.

that you were too delicate, too innocent to.

even when you were angry, you couldn’t fucking swear, wanting to keep the love of your life, the bane of your existence, happy.

you had widened your shoulders when he needed to lean on them.

it only caused trouble for you now when you went upon the crowded metro, bodies pressed up against you.

you wanted to swear.

swear at him.

yourself.

everyone.

every-fucking-thing.

you swore dan heng wouldn’t ever regret it.

you were the fool.

the goddamn fool.

it would’ve been better if he had just said he didn’t love you.

why did he lead you on, saying he loved you if he was just going to break your heart, leaving it hollow?

now you wanted to rip up all the polaroids of him you had kept.

his appearance in the photos was the same — soft, ethereal.

beautiful.

the appearance of someone you had once loved.

of someone you still loved.

it was nothing like the cold and hard exterior he had worn when he broke up with you.

sometimes you just wanted him to get lost, wishing him heartbreak and bad wishes, wishing for him to suffer as you did.

but sometimes, you missed him.

—

you were used and useless now.

now, you wanted to change all your mannerisms — the way you did your makeup, the way you laughed, even the way you walked.

it all reminded you of dan heng.

and that memory stemmed on and on, and lead to another night of you crying in your room, mascara tainting your face, smudging it an inky black.

—

sure, he wasn’t the mean one.

your friends said that he was being reasonable, that he was so mature about the situation, not even putting any blame on you! you were crying for no reason at all, he could’ve ended things on a much, much worse note.

yeah, sure.

yes, you were the mean one! you were the one mad at him, sad over him, because of absolutely nothing! it wasn’t like he was the one who broke up with you!

ugh.

give me a break.

—

late at night, you were curled up in your bed, the excruciatingly bright screen of your phone illuminating your tired eyes and dried up tears.

your finger hovered over the button to delete his number.

you couldn’t even do a task as simple as that.

you were such a fool. you still loved him, even though he had already broken up with you?

pathetic.

—

yeah, this was better.

swearing to get it all out, to get all the red, hot anger off your chest, off yourself.

previously pinpointed on yourself, now you found a new target to direct it all to, to shift the blame to.

dan fucking heng.

previously, you had been sobbing in your room after he had broken up with you, sobs wracking your body as if you were a mere petal in a storm, drifting all alone.

the sorrow had eventually melted, leaving an omnipresent hatred in its wake.

but, if you despised him so much, why did you immediately soften up upon looking at photos you took of him?

he still looked so sweet in the photos, jet black bangs dusting his face, the tiniest smile on his face as he held up a peace sign.

maybe you should just rip up all the photos.

yeah.

—

life wasn’t too bad as of late.

you had been hanging out with new friends, and that took your mind off everything.

maybe you had finally moved on?

yet, you still felt a tinge of hatred towards dan heng, even though he hadn’t done anything wrong as you had come to realize.

you had heard he’d been kicking himself over the break up, crying everyday. you should’ve felt bad.

yet you felt the smallest twinge of happiness upon hearing this.

you could’ve — would’ve — died for him, yet it took him til now to realize what he had missed.

to realize what he had done?

why’d it take him til now? why was he so selfish?

he could’ve just not loved you from the beginning.

huh, maybe you hadn’t moved on yet.

sometimes, you still missed him.

𝟯. 𝗔𝗕𝗖𝗗𝗟𝗢𝗩𝗘

a-b-c-d-e-f-g, right?

it’s still awkwаrd, will i gеt used to it?

give me back my a-b-с-d-l-o-v-e,

or draw a nеw lоve

an easy word you could memorize — love.

soft and delicate love, strong as titanium, yet fragile as glass.

but, well, you didn’t know love anymore.

the love you had known had changed.

it had broken into a million tiny bits, leaving behind shards of shattered glass, cutting you and making you bleed scarlet the moment you tried to pick up the broken pieces.

now you practically had to learn the meaning of love all over again.

everything had changed, now it was all inverted. bright, almost blindingly so, yellow shades of happiness and warmth had become depressing, melancholic blues.

dainty pink had becoming a forever burning inferno of red.

dan heng had been the moons and stars, your whole universe.

and, just like that, he had disappeared.

stormy black clouds had covered the glittering skies, leaving only darkness in their wake.

he had told you he had loved you.

you wanted that same love back.

or, perhaps, now you could draw a new love.

—

it was so, so awkward now.

you could barley get any words out around him.

he, who was spring and summer.

he, who left, leaving a cold and barren winter with you.

now who would alight your freezing heart ablaze?

—

it was still so, so awkward.

would you ever get used to it?

well, perhaps you would, you supposed.

if you could draw a brand new love for yourself, rewrite the meaning of it from scratch, you could get used to this too, no?

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faetima · 9 days

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your fics are so insane and sad, i am not okay. ☹️

OH MU GOD?? MY FIRST ANON??? OMG HII

THANK YOU FOR READING MY FICS :DD I HAVE NO CLUE HOW TO WRITE ANGST OR SAD FICS SO I’M GLAD THEY’RE SAD LMAOO

^^^ me after your message (real)

#˚◞♡ ⃗ responses !!#my first anon omg #YAY #celebrating blushing kicking my feet giggling smiling dancing grinning singing jumping up and down rn

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faetima · 9 days

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guysysyys help pls my post isn't showing up in the tags at all what do i do

#pls help #cries #pls pls pls

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faetima · 9 days

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𝐬𝐚𝐟𝐞𝐭𝐲 𝐬𝐜𝐢𝐬𝐬𝐨𝐫𝐬. .

. . you’re cursed with hanahaki and shyness, while scaramouche is fated to forever hide his feelings behind a mask of indifference.

// tws ; blood ! ; gn reader ; modern & high school au, hanahaki au

a/n: i love safety scissors by tiffi

there were many things you didn’t know about scaramouche. his family life, his favorite type of flowers, what his favorite kind of dessert was.

what his personal feelings about you were.

but, one thing you did know about him was that he liked cherry cola.

much, much more than the regular kind.

that was too bad though, since you hated cherry cola.

but you couldn’t fault him, your tastes just didn’t match up.

—

there were many things you didn’t know about scaramouche. his favorite sport, if his love language was physical touch like yours, if he didn’t like shy people.

if he was romantically interested in someone.

but, one thing you did know about him was that he wasn’t rightfully yours.

and that he would never be.

—

your life was slipping away like delicate grains of sands falling through your hands.

you gagged, pale pink and pristine white candytufts slipping out of your mouth and flopping onto the floor, the ungraceful motion contradicting to how elegant the flowers actually looked.

the flowers were dotted with dull, red spots of blood, standing out on the otherwise light colored blossoms.

you clenched your hands into tight fists, suddenly feeling how cold and clammy they had gotten.

you hunched down, heaving and coughing up more of the damned flowers. they were clumped together and were glistening from being coated in mucus and blood.

the cabbage-like scent of the candytufts combined with the metallic, iron scent of blood was starting to make you dizzy, your stomach turning. you gagged on nothing, queasy from the miasma.

maybe you had no chance with scaramouche.

—

you sat in class, shoulders slumped forward and lips turning downwards just the slightest bit. you rubbed one of your eyes, tired.

you let out a shaky sigh, not noticing your right leg bouncing up and down unconsciously.

“can you stop that?” a sharp voice cut through the silent haze that had been set over the classroom. you glanced up, finding indigo eyes narrowed in annoyance. scaramouche’s hands were clenched into fists and his jaw was clenched. he scowled at you, pretty face contorting into one filled with exasperation.

”sorry,” you mumbled, immediately dropping your gaze down to the desk, swallowing hard. nervousness crept up your spine, and you took in a shaky breath.

”whatever,” he muttered, rolling his eyes. his ears had the lightest tint of pink to them, of which you didn’t notice, too caught up in your own embarrassment.

—

you had bought new clothes because you thought you were going to see him that day.

you had cut your hair in your bedroom with safety scissors.

it was so embarrassing. especially because that was the only way he would even notice you, taking the fact that you were too scared to talk to him because of being so goddamn shy.

—

there was some distant memory you had of scaramouche and you back in seventh grade.

you had both been working on a project, and somehow you had wound up sharing your earbuds with him.

his nose had scrunched up in what had seemed to be disgust.

”you listen to this fucking stuff?” he asked you, staring at you with a scrutinizing gaze, a hint of curiosity in it which you hadn’t noticed.

you had stayed silent, not exactly sure what to say.

it wasn’t his fault that your music tastes hadn’t quite aligned.

—

you had texted your friends.

they had said not to do it.

but you, being stupid, didn’t want to listen to them.

so you had cut your hair on impulse, all because you wanted to look nice for scaramouche.

now your hair looked so, so damn stupid.

and the worst part?

you had cut it with safety scissors.

you should’ve listened to your friends.

—

coughs wracked your feeble body, draining all the energy it had left with the motions.

candytufts fell out of your mouth, piling up on the ground.

sharp pains in your lungs came in intervals, making you wish death would just come and take you already.

but no, it just had to be cruel. it was taunting you, making you feel like you were going to die, make you wish that you were going to die, only to never actually take you.

instead it put you through this suffering.

you felt like you were coughing your lungs out, wanting to rip your throat out from the pain.

you sobbed, wishing to just die, wishing for the world to just end your pain and suffering.

but, alas, death would never come for you.

all because scaramouche hid his feelings for you under a mask of indifference, hidden from anyone’s knowledge.

#scaramouche x reader #✦ -- scaramouche #scara x reader #scaramouche x you #scaramouche #hanahaki au #hanahaki #hanahaki disease #high school au #high school #light angst #angst #not really #tw slight blood #flower symbolism #a little :3

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faetima · 10 days

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𝐚𝐦𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐢𝐚 . .

. . judging by how many times you fell for him, you probably had amnesia.

// tws ; blood !! slight swearing ; gn reader ; modern & high school au, hanahaki au

a/n: amnesia by boynextdoor is so good i love it sm i want to inject it into my veins

he was so ethereal, whether he was happy, sad, or pissed as fuck.

even as his face curled up into an ugly scowl or fell in despair or suddenly brightened with a subtle and soft smile, you couldn’t but find him absolutely gorgeous.

maybe that was why you were laying here on the ground now, pitifully hacking up pungent and bitter blue hydrangeas.

it was almost funny how the color of them were almost the same as sunday’s hair, just a little more blue than it.

it was also almost amusing how accurately they symbolized his response if you were to tell him your feelings; rejection.

your feelings were concealed within the hydrangeas too — regret and despair.

you sobbed as you heaved up the stupid blue flowers. they flopped onto the once clean floor ungracefully, leaving a trail of blood and mucus, of heartbreak and hopelessness.

maybe it would’ve been better if you had never laid your eyes on sunday in the first place.

—

as you saw sunday in school the next day, you felt yourself toppling head over heels for him all over again.

at this point you might as well have amnesia with how many times you’ve felt yourself falling in love with him again.

every time you saw his stupidly perfect face, his pretty wings, his fluffy grey-blue hair, you dug your grave deeper than it already was.

why did sunday have to be so fucking perfect, so fucking pretty, and so, so sweet?

—

it was dumb falling for someone you had barley talked to.

maybe if you pushed your shyness and anxiety aside you could’ve talked to him.

maybe you could’ve been acquaintances.

friends.

maybe even lovers.

but, alas, that was never going to happen.

you hated yourself so much — why couldn’t you just fucking talk to him? what the hell was wrong with you?

you sobbed, coughing out more of those wretched blue hydrangeas.

—

you were going to get the surgery.

it was useless dying over someone who didn’t even know you.

you could live without knowing him.

now you would get amnesia for real.

—

you woke up blearily, blinded by the extremely bright fluorescent lights of the hospital.

you did it.

you finally got the surgery.

you couldn’t remember what you got it done for, though.

—

after recovering, your parents saw fit for you to go back to school again.

you sat in your english class, waiting for your peers to fill up the empty room.

you watched people file in, chatter filling the room, bouncing off the walls.

and then you saw a face.

an extremely pretty face, paired with almost piercing yellow eyes and hair that reminded you of blue hydrangeas.

suddenly you started coughing. you brought your elbow to your mouth, muffling your coughs.

pulling away your face, a single blue petal drifted down to the ground, a little bit in front of you.

and then it was crushed by none other than sunday.

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faetima · 10 days

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guys pls send requests i have legit no writing ideas

#pls help #sunday #sunday hsr #hsr sunday #scaramouche #genshin impact #choose #pslsppspslslplps #send requests #PLEASE

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faetima · 11 days

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hii :3 for ur 1k event, can I request a fic or hcs of sunday w a shy s/o which likes physical affection a LOT? fine w fluff or hurt/comfort!! love ur writing <3

feather light touches

synopsis - what happens when someone who loves physical affection meets someone who doesn't?

includes - sunday

warnings - gn!reader, slightly angsty, comfort, fluff, wc - 897

a/n: hii :3 thank you!!!

sunday was a public figure. head of the oak family and at the will of the watchmaker, anybody who had even heard of penacony probably had heard of him. while he did manage most of the affairs of penaconians in his office, he was a well known face - mainly due to him making sure he could accompany his sister to her performances and personally greeting very important guests.

to maintain such a high profile position, sunday had no room to be shy nor anxious when it came to anything. he needed the ability to communicate with and sway anyone to his whims and so he needed to show no signs of weakness. perhaps it was maybe helped by the fact that he did have quite the desperation for control and so to achieve that, he needed everybody to see him as the confident and formidable person he was.

as a result, alot of his relationships were strictly business - in a way every business relation he built up was built up to his benefit, to keep him in control and eventually elevate his status. he needed to be in control to succeed and so he never took up opportunities that made him feel like his control would diminish and leave him scrambling for his power. by extention, sunday wasn't exactly the kind to enjoy physical affection, if anything he despised it. of course there were exceptions to a degree, namely his sister and you.

you were like a complete polar opposite to sunday. he was confident and an influential figure that liked keeping people at arms length, even those he was close too. you were a shy and reserved person who craved nothing more than to be close to those you held dearly. physical affection was very dear to you but unfortunately the shyness was an obstacle that prevented most forms of physical affection - unlike sunday who would take any opportunity to stay away from any kind of physical contact.

sunday didn't mind how shy you were, it didn't really matter to him as he enjoyed your company nonetheless. he didn't mind doing things for you and so if your shyness did prevent you from talking to people he'd gladly step in. your shyness was actually a great comfort to him at the end of a day filled with business dealings, just to spend his evening with you indulging in smalltalk and relaxing without the pressure of being the head of the oak family.

it wouldn't take sunday long to notice how hesitant you could get in private, you always looked like you wanted something but you never said anything and so he didn't know what to do. if something was bothering you, you probably would have told him know no? truth be told, your issue wasn't so much your shyness when it came to physical affection but more with how unsure you were with sunday's willingness to just that.

you knew for a matter of fact that physical touch and affection wasn't exactly sunday's deal, so you're shyness was overcome with worries that he wouldn't understand your love for physical affection. you started fearing that this would be the reason you couldn't stay with sunday, that this would be the breaking point of your relationship. what made it worse was that you never brought it up. you were way to shy about it to bring it up and so you say on the issue.

that was until sunday started picking up more ideas to what was causing your hesitation around him. he noticed how a simple act of hand holding made your face light up even if you didn't mention anything, so unconsciously he started doing that more. sunday realised you were very fond of physical affection and maybe you were just hesitant that he wouldn't appreciate it.

it was true that he was uncomfortable with most kinds of physical affection but maybe he could try and make an exception for you - he really couldn't bare seeing you so pained because you couldn't ask him. simple acts like hand holding, that still made you light up, were bearable with him to start as long as he still wore his gloves but you didn't seem to mind. maybe just maybe he could atart building up his tolerance just for you.

or maybe he couldn't deny you when he realised you built up all your courage just to ask him for a hug. sunday fully understood now, he knew for sure that you lived physical affection but you were simply too shy to ask for such. albeit he probably didn't help you by seeming so off put by physical affection but he just had to prove to you that you were indeed an exception - so long as you still let him get used to more physical contact.

it all seemed worth it in the end to him. seeing your face light up when he offered a hug, a small kiss, or even hand holding made his day, what really made it worth it for him was seeing you becime more comfortable with asking for the physical affection you lived oh so much. it may be foreign and slightly uncomfortable to him but he'd be willing to build up that aspect if it meant helping you in the process.

akutasoda's 1k event

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faetima · 11 days

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𝐥𝐮𝐜𝐤𝐲 𝐠𝐢𝐫𝐥 𝐬𝐲𝐧𝐝𝐫𝐨𝐦𝐞 . .

. . maybe you weren't as lucky as you thought you were?

// tws ; blood !! slight swearing ; gn reader ; modern & high school au, hanahaki au

a/n: decided to write about aventurine despite the poll i'm sorry 😞 anyways lucky girl syndrome by illit is SO GOOD

you had always considered yourself lucky; whether that pertained to getting great deals, having great luck in board games, or just guessing test answers correctly. you had almost never had bad luck, and all your friends and family knew.

you were referred to as their own personal four-leaf clover, bringing good luck wherever you went.

so why did your luck suddenly falter and fail you? why did your good luck suddenly turn bad?

those were the thoughts that plagued your mind as you, hunched over a trash can, hurled up bitter pink peonies.

how could a flower that symbolized such good fortune and prosperity sprout from such a horrible condition?

coughs wracked your feeble body as more of the bubblegum colored flowers flopped into the trash can, clumped together with mucus and scarlet blood.

you gasped for air, finally able to breathe for the most part. small petals elegantly floated down and sat on top of the mucus coated flowers, sprinkled with the slightest hint of blood.

shakily you backed away, arms wrapped around your knees, of which were brought up to your head.

you buried your face in your arms, sobbing.

why did this have to happen to you? so many people in the world, yet you had to be the one spewing up damned peonies just because of a stupid unrequited love.

you wished you had never been put in the same class as aventurine, that you had never heard his laugh, never seen his stupidly pretty purple eyes or his blonde hair, never heard his voice, never laid your fucking eyes on him.

you were too scared to get the surgery--what if it failed? if your luck was failing you now, what if it backfired when you were getting the surgery too?

if you were going to die either way, you wanted to at least remembered the person while you did.

--

you changed your mind--that idea was fucking stupid.

you should've gotten the surgery when you could've, but now it was too little too late.

why did you even want to remember him? he didn't even know your damn name. he didn't even know you existed.

if only you weren't so scared to talk to him (or anyone else for that manner).

maybe if you weren't such a coward you could've been besides him right now or walking with him or watching as he gambled his luck away or talking with him or--

another cough tore you away from your thoughts. you heaved out yet another mucus covered peony. it flopped onto the ground ungracefully, staining your newly polished floors an ugly red from the blood on it.

the sickly sweet smell floral smell of peonies filled the room, making you nauseous and dizzy.

you definitely weren't as lucky as you thought you were.

--

weak coughs wracked your fragile body.

it was hard to breathe.

you felt as if the room was spinning around you, barley able to form a single thought as your oxygen was being cut off.

you laid there on your bed, suffocating slowly on rosy pink peonies.

maybe two lucky people just aren't meant to be together.

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