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northlt · 1 month

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Too Sweet

Regulus Black is not an early bird.

That much is evident from the dark eyebags, the exhaustion that slumps his frame and the cup of coffee always glued to his hand.

He remembers being a child, developing the habit of staying up late. The hours of the night, when everyone else was asleep, their soft snores the only noise in the house was the the only time he truly felt alive. Something more than a moving corpse.

There was no one to nag at him after midnight, no one tiring him with small talk, no one he had to put up a facade for. It was just him. No Sirius, no mother, no father.

He used the time to breathe, as idiotic as it sounds. He just breathed and breathed and tried not to think about everything happening in his life. He wrote in his journal as well, stupid poems he swore would never be seen by anyone but him. He did everything he wished he could do that day but didn't because he had too many eyes on him.

Those days are well behind him now, he doesn't live in constant fear of his parents, no longer in the grips of that awful house. And still, some habits stay with him.

It's later than 10 in the morning when he says a word. James doesn't mind. Sometimes Regulus doesn't say anything the whole day, but James is happy enough to carry the weight of socializing for both of them.

He is blissfully free of the hold of trauma unlike Regulus and his brother. Regulus hopes he always stays that way, far from anything that could ever change him or cause him harm.

Because god forbid something something or someone so much as touched James Potter. Regulus would have to go to war.

In any case, James doesn't mind Regulus sleeping late. He's more of an early bird. A quidditch habit he never quite let go of. In the mornings they often wave silently to each other, James having just woken up and Regulus heading to bed.

"Baby" Regulus muses to himself as he plays with James' hair. He could never fathom how James slept so well. Honestly, an earthquake wouldn't be able to wake the man up.

"Try to sleep early, darling" James always says. "Go to bed before the sun's already rising"

But the sunrise is Regulus' favorite part of the night. He wants to show James the peacefulness of the night once. He wants to give James the experience, lost in a haze, smelling like a bonfire when he wakes up.

But until then, he just kisses James' hair, "You're too sweet for me"

They're different. Very different. Regulus knows. He has known since Hogwarts.

Regulus takes his whiskey neat, enjoying the way it burns. James usually orders a fruity drink with half the alcohol amount and teases Regulus for being a lightweight when they've had the same number of drinks.

Regulus takes his coffee black, no sugar, no milk. It helps him, even if it makes the beating of his heart a little too fast and loud, and makes his fingers shake because of overconsumption.

James takes his coffee with an ungodly amount of sweetener that makes Regulus gag everytime he sees his boyfriend preparing the drink. James always complains more coffee makes him sleepy, which never made much sense to Regulus. Neither did the fact that more sugar usually helped James balance out his frantic energy.

Regulus goes to bed well after three, mostly when the sun is already painting the sky lighter. He enjoys the burn of his eyes, the hurt in his temples from reading too much, he enjoys the hurt, something to remind him of home.

James goes to bed earlier than a child with a strict mother and a bed time. He wakes just as early, before the sky lightens up. He likes the cool wind on his cheeks as he goes for a run, always trying to convince Regulus to join him. He's convinced Regulus will give in one day. (He won't)

James is too sweet for Regulus, too sweet for him to believe he deserves it.

James is as bright as the morning. He burns so bright he consumes every part of Regulus' mind. There's no hope trying to outrun his magnetic field. Regulus would know, he's tried it.

Even on his bad days, he could outshine Apollo.

He's soft as the rain, soothing after a hot day, a constant weather in their country.

And he's pretty. Regulus would be a fool to forget that.

It all makes Regulus feel inferior sometimes. He just wishes he could wait until the day he no longer felt that way. Like James deserves better than him. Like one day James will get up and decide he doesn't love Regulus any more.

They're all ugly thoughts, Regulus knows that. And James has his fair share of ugly habit and thoughts. He's not perfect by any means.

Still, sometimes Regulus thinks James is too sweet for him.

"You treat your mouth as if it's Heaven's gate" Regulus scrawls in his journal one night, watching the steady rise and fall of James' chest.

#marauders #regulus black #marauders era #james potter #hogwarts #sirius black #dead gay wizards #jegulus #the marauders #starchaser #hozier #unheard #too sweet

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polyklok · 1 year

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When they’re down bad

Dethklok and their massive, throbbing crush. You can interpret this as and xReader, xOC, or even towards each other idk I don’t make the rules.

Nathan Explosion

Unlike the other members, Nathan has had experience with actual girlfriends (rather than just flings) before, and so can identify the difference between attraction and actual romantic interest pretty quickly.

But he’s still a total idiot about it. He basically hasn’t developed his flirting style since high school; he hasn’t needed to. He’s famous! So, he just sorta forces himself into their attention all the time. He purposely bumps into them, asks to borrow random things, always stands or sits next to them. He just wants to constantly be around them.

He tries to start conversations too but, my god, he’s so awkward! They’ll be sitting in silence together and he just shouts “MAN, THIS WEATHER IS CRAZY.” While it’s been perfectly sunny for three days straight. BTW, he’s always yelling around his crush. It’s partly because he’s nervous, partly because he’s trying to assert his “dominance” (he doesn’t have any)

He tries to drop not-so-subtle hints about his feelings. Like, there will be a couple in public, clearly on a very romantic, cheesy date and he’ll be like “THAT LOOKS FUN, WE SHOULD DO THAT SOMETIME” to his crush. Or if there’s a kissing scene in a movie, he squeezes their hand or something. Just, out of the blue.

In general, he’s pretty obvious and is sort of a disaster, but it’s cute and oddly charming. 7/10 because I suddenly decided I’m ranking them

Pickles The Drummer

If Nathan was a disaster, he’s the end of the world

He desperately tries to play himself up in front of his crush, specifically trying to seem more classy and sophisticated, which are two things Pickles is not. He’s the kind of guy to try to be suave and lean up against a wall and then immediately eat shit, falling to the floor.

He likes to talk around his crush but never to his crush, ya’know? Like, if they are in a room, he’ll speak all loudly to a group about how cool he is and all the things he’s done. But in a one-on-one convo, he’s literally shaking and sweating and nodding along like his brain isn’t in full panic mode (it is). Because he physically can stand how gorgeous his crush is and how obsessed he is with them.

He’ll probably try to drink more than usual to calm his nerves, but it really makes it worse. Cause now he’s a bumbling idiot who’s only talking about how ‘damn pretty’ they are and threatening to get into a fight with the bartender.

Eventually, he does calm down. And he gets to be his natural, funny and relaxed self around them. His heart still flutters, but the anxiety doesn’t consume him like it used to and he has a real conversation with his crush and it feels like he’s falling in love all over again.

Like in most situations, Pickles is kinda a wreck. But he needs time and the right amount of booze to be a pretty great guy, 6/10

Skwisgaar Skwigelf

Sound the fucking alarms because this Swedish whore has himself a crush. Seriously though, the realization hits him like a fucking truck. He’s just like, wow this person is hot and I like spending time with them and they have a great personality and they’re funny and they make me feel nice and HOLY FUCK

He gets so pissed. Like, genuine anger at himself and them and everyone else in the world because something is wrong. He can’t bring himself to take it out on them, so he just always scoffs and ignores them for weeks on end. But the whole time, they’re in his head. He feels all warm and fuzzy in more places than just his dick for once.

Eventually, he stops being just a baby and gives them a weird, half-assed apology his ego is still fragile, ok?! And starts flirting. Hard. Constantly praising their body and making unsubtle sexual innuendos, it’s the only thing he really knows how to do in this situation. God forbid they giggle or flirt back, because his face is gonna turn completely red and he’ll need to excuse himself for a 10-minute freak out.

Skwisgaar just feels so many strong emotions, and these new, affectionate ones are just kicking his ass. There’s a good chance that he gives up because he just can’t handle it. But, he might just persist and slowly open up and let them in.

He’s pretty much a noob for these sorts of things. He’s a sex god, not a Prince Charming. 3/10

Toki Wartooth

Toki is actually more passive when it comes to romantic feelings than you would expect; he can accept potential love interests as friends very easily. But once someone has embedded themselves in his brain as more than just a groupie or a good friend, my man is COMPLETELY ride or die

Doesn’t make any effort to hide it either. He gets all giggly around them, biting his lip, twirling his hair, kicking his feet. He’s seriously smitten and everyone can tell, including the crush. He won’t deny it either, “Of course I’s likes them! Who wouldn’ts?”

His wooing methods are completely cheesy as well. Like, leaving a large, lovey-dovey gift basket on their doorstep or writing awful poetry for them completely in Norwegian. In fact, he’s pretty much always getting them little gifts and they’re all genuine, even the stereotypical ones.

He also gets very, very touchy. Greeting them with hugs and holding hands and even little surprise kisses. He knows that they’re not technically dating, but he still sees them as his one and only, so he already begins cementing himself as their partner.

Although, if they don’t show any interest back, he’ll stop after a week or so simply because he gets bored easily. I’m not gonna sit her and act like he doesn’t have the patience of a four-year-old.

Man goes all in with his flirting but it fizzes out very quickly. 7/10

William Murderface

I was wrong about Pickles; THIS is the ultimate disaster. Poor guy really can’t take it, he’s so flustered and anxious and a bit furious at the whole situation. William is so fueled by hatred and hostility that he can’t fathom the fact that he genuinely likes someone and craves their love. For him, it feels like he’s gonna die without them and yet he refuses to go within a foot of them.

Most of the time, he just stares at them with his angry look on his face. If they ask what’s wrong, he just mumbles and walks away. But really, he gets so excited that they talked to him, even though he immediately fucked it up.

Maybe with some time, he can find a slightly better way to deal with his intense feelings. He mostly just needs to learn to relax and have some confidence, but those are both things he has never been good at. But, if he does manage do to so and have a conversation with them…it’s still pretty bad. He’ll stutter and stumble, walking on eggshells because he knows that he has a tendency to say stupid shit.

Even if the relationship doesn’t ever go anywhere, there’s a very good chance he’ll be this nervous around them for months, possibly years. If his crush manages to get the message and starts encouraging his ‘advances’, it’ll still be a while until he’s anything less than a wreck.

Someone please help Murderface, he’s dying out here. 2/10

Btw I wrote this last night and am posting it without much proofreading so sorry if it’s awful

#dethklok #metalocalypse #polyklok is real #william murderface #dethklok headcanon #metalocaypse headcanon #nathan explosion #toki wartooth #pickles the drummer #skwisgaar skwigelf #dethklok x reader #metalocalypse x reader

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total-drama-brainrot · 2 months

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TD World Tour AU, where Noah is Chris’s Assistant from the start of World Tour, instead of a contestant ... Alejandro tries to charm Noah, like Alejandro had charmed Chef, but Noah is immune to his charms... What if Assistant Noah still told Owen that Alejandro is like 'an eel dipped in grease' and Alejandro CAN'T get rid of Assistant Noah for saying that?... Would they have a weird frenemy relationship for the rest of the show?... With Alejandro sometimes teasingly flirting with Noah, like he does with Heather? 😘

In my take on an Assistant Noah AU, Noah would be entirely immune to Alejandro's charm, not because he's switched on to The Archvillain's true colours (which, he is, but I digress) but because Assistant Noah is The Saltiest Bitch.

Imagine with me, for a moment, that you've landed yourself a pretty sweet gig; you're the personal assistant of an A-list celebrity who's only real job at the moment is hosting and directing one (1) reality TV show. The pay is really good and the job itself comes with a tonne of benefits, plus it's the perfect position for you to develop networks within the business (Noah canonically mentions "working his way up this 'biz", implying he has a desire to continue in the field of showbusiness).

Now imagine with me that said celebrity is Chris McLean, renown sadist and all-around disaster of a man. This guy absolutely pawns off the majority of his work onto you, meaning it falls onto your shoulders to; corral the on-set interns into some semblance of competency, make sure that each challenge is properly set up and ready to go, make sure Chris himself is set up and ready to go, and put up with regular coffee run requests. That's a lot of work for one 16~17 year old, even if you are a certified genius.

You're overworked, sleep-deprived and two seconds away from snapping at the nearest intern at any given moment.

And then, during the filming of the latest season, the guy you hand picked to star in the non-existent "Total Drama Dirtbags" (mostly because he was better looking than his brother, who also applied) tries to charm and flirt his way into you giving him advantages in the competition- or at the very least, trick you into divulging information on their next challenge. It's as if he thinks you're somehow not aware of the fact that he's a total scumbag, despite knowing you work on the show and therefore have seen both his acts of sabotage and the confessions in which he plots them.

Suffice to say, you're kind of insulted. I mean, really? Flirting? You don't even have time for something as trivial as a relationship, or even a fling! There's challenges to set up, international negotiations to suffer through, and unpaid interns to boss around- your schedule's booked!

And yet he keeps flirting with you, even after you've snubbed him multiple times. At this point you're pretty sure it's become a point of wounded pride for him, instead of the game tactic it started as; after all, his charms have worked on pretty much everyone on the cast, what makes you so different?

Eventually, as the herd thins, you decide to warn your best friend (who's somehow miraculously remained in the competition, despite his 'team leader's' obvious dislike of him) about Alejandro's less-than-noble intentions. Owen misconstrues your selfless act of solidarity as a sign of jealousy, or god forbid 'denial of your feelings', towards Alejandro. Which, what? No, that's not it at all! The one time you try to be a good friend and this is how you're repaid?

Alejandro overhears this, unfortunately, and seems to take the fact that you're not fooled by his obviously fake mask as some sort of personal affront. Of course, as the person who's essentially running the show, there's not much he can do to you besides carry on being the nuisance he is- which is exactly what he does, but more.

Suddenly, his flirting from before seems like nothing, because now he's really trying to get under your skin with that same plastic charm; it's like he took the dial to his natural flirtatiousness and turned it to eleven. It's annoying. And worse, it's getting in the way of your work flow.

You'd love to stage his elimination, but you know the public outcry from his untimely departure from the show would outweigh the relief of being rid of him, so you resolve to do as you have been; ignoring Alejandro until he gets bored. (That's easier said than done- he's really good at getting under your skin, like the thorns on a rose bush.)

To make matters Even Worse, your elusive appearances on the show- as Chris' personal assistant it would be impossible to avoid the cameras entirely, but you'd bribed the editing team to cut as much of your unwitting footage from the final edit as they could- paired with your 'entertaining dynamic' with Alejandro has the viewers clambering for more, so now you're obligated to act as a de facto co-host alongside your boss.

So now you're stuck having to at least acknowledge Alejandro, if only to give the editors something to work with. Great.

At least, that's what my take on an Assistant Noah AU would entail.🤷‍♀️

#imagine if you will-💥#yes i wrote this in second person. i'm trying something new. something more immersive.#the sudden influx of noah-centric AUs on this blog continues to astound me #you guys really love throwing ideas at me pertaining to one (1) cynical nerd #not that i'm complaining 🤭#this could be interpreted as alenoah but i'm gonna throw a curveball here and say--#it's one-sided alenoah on alejandro's part and noah is either--#heavily aspec (projecting) or crushing on owen (nowen supremacy) because there's already so much alenoah in my AUs #(...or alenowen perhaps?)#total drama #td noah #td alejandro #td owen #silly ideas #others' ideas #assistant noah #replies

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oneatlatime · 4 months

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The Tales of Ba Sing Se PART 2

The Tale of Zuko

Maybe I should make a Zuko's Stupid Faces post.

Zuko and Iroh's whole dynamic in one frame.

This girl is cute. Total girl next door type. She does have fairly horrible taste in men, but she's also very cute.

I just want to take a minute to point out a VERY important distinction. Zuko is not going out on a date. Zuko is not taking a girl out on a date. A girl is taking Zuko out on a date. She's got that arm in a death grip. Not only is that a clever reversal of the usual hetero dynamic, but I'm convinced it's the only way Zuko would ever get any action, so it's also in character.

I know Zuko's social skills are non-existent, but apart from the blow up at the waiter he is actually trying. He's failing, but I have to give him points for trying.

The way this girl's voice actress says "You juggled" made my ears very happy. And the beleaguered "yes. I juggled." is equally good.

Zuko! Tell her you did sword stuff! That's something you can actually do!

It gives me hope that someone so steeped in the most toxic parts of the Fire Nation, for so long, can STILL be so bad at lying, but it would certainly be a handy skill right about now.

I take it back. This girl does have good taste in men. Zuko's such a softie when it counts. He still sucks at being normal, but he just risked his identity because the girl he didn't even plan to go out with was a little bit sad.

This girl is the best.

Ha! He kissed her back! He Did! I saw that!

I take back what I took back. Zuko's evil again. He made my new favourite girl droop.

I love that Iroh's waiting up for him while making it look like he isn't waiting up for him. How many times on their ship, when Zuko was out Blue Spiriting, do you think Iroh found a reason to be randomly sat on the deck at 3 am?

Character development baby! Can you really call yourself loyal to the fire nation if you admit to having a good time on a date with an Earth Kingdom girl?

The Tale of Momo

Pretty.

That was a FILTHY bait and switch. For one shining moment, I had Appa back.

They should take that to June.

Not Appa.

Also not Appa.

I did not have 'Momo gets gaslit' on my Avatar Bingo card. Nor did I have 'interspecies animal friendship angst.'

Are these cat things the raccoons of the Avatar universe? Or the squirrels? Urban scroungers?

I love the idea that this guy just grabs the closest squirrel, sticks a hat on it, and expects it to dance. He got lucky with Momo.

I thought they were taking the animals to the pound, but this is very much a butcher. Which means that in Ba Sing Se, they eat varmint. Stay away from the hot dog carts.

That's very effective Simglish.

Thank god for thumbs.

Aw they're friends! This has Aristocats vibes, when O'Malley and the girl cat are getting together near the end.

And one final Fuck You, because god forbid Momo's tale ends on a happy note.

I'm guessing that's an Appa print, but couldn't it also be a platypus bear?

Something about the cats standing vigil over Momo's grief gets to me.

Final thoughts

I'll go through each of these stories individually, but first some general comments.

Last episode was kind of intense, and definitely ended on a downer (not that this one didn't), so it was a good call to at least start this episode off on something a bit gentler.

I was really impressed with the soundtrack throughout. Apart from the Tale of Momo where it's the animal noises that are front and centre, the music is doing a lot of work in every story, the strings especially. The strings are doing emotional work, plot stuff, and even humour. Seriously, next time you rewatch this episode, pay attention to the strings. These shorts are actually very light on dialogue (apart from Sokka's), but they don't feel that way because the music is doing the talking.

I'm assuming that this all took place over three days at least, since Iroh, Zuko, and Momo's tales seem to end on different evenings. So I don't think calling this episode 'day in the life' is accurate. My bad. It also occurs to me that this kind of episode format would be a great way of showing time has passed. If they had had an episode like this in the Northern Water Tribe - after Katara beat the crap out of Poophead but before the Fire Nation attacked - I would have liked the pacing of the whole finale arc better.

On to the stories!

The Tale of Toph and Katara

It might be because I didn't understand what this episode was doing yet, but this one didn't do much for me. It was good to see Toph have a moment of self-doubt, but I never would have assumed, based on her previous behaviour, that her appearance was her proverbial weak spot. Katara did a really good job at building her back up, and she was delightfully (and appropriately) understated for once. When she's reassuring Aang of something (especially in Season 1) Katara tends to got from 0 to 60 very quickly, so it was nice to see her be reassuring in a quiet, non-steamrolling way. Is this Katara character development? Apart from the fact that Toph quite literally got her eyeballs sanded, nothing much in this episode stuck out to me. Except those bitchy voices. Those were like knives in my brain.

The Tale of Iroh

So many questions! Is Lu Ten buried in Ba Sing Se? How is that grave not defaced yet? How did Iroh get a copy of his son's picture? They lost everything at the North Pole, right? Did he ask the people who got him their passports for a picture of his son too? Does Zuko know/remember that it's his cousin's birthday? If so, why isn't he there offering Iroh the world's most awkward hug? Given the fact that Iroh spent the whole day helping people, including a very misguided youth, and given that Iroh says something along the lines of "if only I could have helped you [his son]" does this imply that Lu Ten was going through a crisis at the time of his death? Was he misguided like the wannabe mugger? Is Zuko not the first Fire Nation Prince that Iroh has had to guide through an identity/existential crisis? Is Zuko going to be the first time Iroh succeeds at guiding a Fire Nation prince through an identity/existential crisis? Does Iroh live in perpetual fear of failing Zuko the way he seems to believe he failed his son? Am I reading too much into this?

To be quite honest, this story would have hit me harder if I had remembered going into it that Iroh had a son. Lu Ten takes being a textual ghost to a whole new level. Also the 'In honor of Mako' text confused me. And worried me a little.

The Tale of Aang

I liked this one! Aang can't help Appa at the moment, but he can help all the Appa stand ins who aren't fortunate enough to have an Aang to help them. Aang is a nice little boy! Of course he'd free a bunch of animals without thinking about the consequences and the epic pile of platypus bear dung he's just landed the zookeeper in with the Dai Li. I liked the animal designs. I liked the earthbending. I liked the Siamese cat representation. I loved cabbage man. I think that, if Appa could have known, he would have approved. I also think that I'm once again reading too much into this. it was nominally a fun fluff piece elaborating on a established emotional conflict (Appa missing), which gave it just enough weight to be slightly more than a fluff piece.

The Tale of Sokka

I am entirely serious when I say that 'poetry bouncer' is my favourite joke so far in the WHOLE show. I love absurdity played entirely earnestly. It's fridge funny too. The longer I contemplate the implications, the funnier it gets. What past event required a poetry bouncer be introduced? He's not there to protect the students or the teacher; he's here to reinforce the structure of the Haiku by force. Was he hired by the concept of Haiku? Is Haiku taken so seriously in Ba Sing Se that he's needed to break up cat fights between students? There is a rich well of haiku-related hijinks just hinted at by his presence, and I want to know more.

Sokka is so often his own worst enemy that it makes sense that he's taken out by his own hubris. That fortune teller lady was absolutely a crook, but she did one hell of an accurate cold read on Sokka.

The Tale of Zuko

Credits tell me that the girl's name is Jin. I would like to congratulate the creators of Avatar for managing to illustrate romantic interest so palpably without resorting to heart eyes and steam whistle noises. Nothing wrong with those; I'm just impressed by how much of Jin's interest in Zuko you can feel. Also, she'd better be more than a single episode character, because I need more of this sweetheart. She's a real contender for displacing Toph as my favourite girl in the cast.

To be fair to Zuko, he did make Jin droop (UNFORGIVABLE), but it was also the right call. He can't date her honestly. It IS complicated. And I don't think any Earth Kingdom girl (worth dating) would knowingly go out with Fire Nation royalty. Jin wanted Lee the Tea Boy. Try as he might, Zuko can't stop being Zuko. I would argue that he shouldn't stop being Zuko. His flashback mom told him not to forget who he was, so I'd also argue that the narrative doesn't want Zuko to stop being Zuko either. I guess it's a case of right girl, wrong time. It looks like she's cool with him being a firebender, but firebending and being the Fire Lord's son are not the same magnitude of hurdle to dating. Maybe when the war's over they can hook up again.

The Tale of Momo

I think this qualifies as cruelty to the audience. I got the impression that this story was crafted borderline maliciously, to make the viewers suffer angst dump after angst dump.

I liked seeing things from Momo's perspective. I loved the animal noises, which really got across a shocking amount of emotion. Those, combined with body language, were as effective as any spoken script. These cartoon people really know how to use their medium.

It absolutely kills me that Momo is missing Appa, and since he doesn't understand human speech, he can't even be comforted by knowing that his humans are actively looking for him. If you've ever seen one of your pets missing another of your pets in real life, you know there's nothing worse than the helplessness that comes with not being able to explain or magically summon their friend back from the kennel, or the vet, or the dead. All you can do is give them hugs. I'm glad that Momo got a street cat support group at the end of the episode, but the animal grief at the beginning was hard to get through. It's sweet to have confirmation that Momo sees Appa as family, but surely they could have showed that to us in a way that doesn't make me need to hug the stuffing out of my own pets?

Final Final Thoughts for real this time

This episode wrings you out a little. Fully a third of the stories are about Appa, despite him not being there. At least half are about missing someone who isn't there. At least half are bittersweet.

I liked this episode format. I hope they use it again next season. Only Toph and Katara's tale felt too short to me. The rest did such a good job at drawing me in, that when I went back to check timestamps I was surprised by how short these stories are.

I'm going to go eat too much chocolate.

#atla #avatar: the last airbender #avatar the last airbender #the tales of ba sing se

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sleeplesssmoll · 4 months

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Can you imagine everyone in the suitcase getting together to prepare the Foundation Kids’ first Christmas 🥹🥹🥹

The gift exchanging and the cuteness would be the most wholesome thing! Little Santa hats for all! Honestly this became a long list of HCs and not all of them are related to Christmas. It'll be Crew member and Vertin interactions because it'd be a lot to do it both ways for every single character. My ears are open for anyone who wants to share their HCs!

Regulus (actually Apple) gives a Vertin a set of high quality paint brushes. She also gives her also a weird rotund plushy with this face

• _ •

This is the real one Regulus picked but she and Apple work as a pair. She says it's face reminded her of Vertin. Vertin will keep this new friend among her growing collection of oddities from her crew members. She keeps everything they give her, even if it's just a pretty marble.

Joshua gives her a DIY woodworking book and then brings up his bookshelf being broken (hidden agenda!) At first the others are like "wth?" but Vertin seems to love it. You know the little game pieces we see throughout the game to represent the characters? Vertin makes something similar with her new skill and they use them when developing strategies. Jessica and Sonetto like to help her paint them. Druvis gives her tips (since she's a wandmaker she has more experience). Also, Vertin does fix his shelf eventually and made a few adjustments so it won't break again.

I see Vertin as the type who can figure out those God awful assembly instructions with 70 different letters and numbers labeling everything. For tech stuff, Regulus and Joshua have them covered. They try not to ask X if they can help it because despite being a genuis he always adds an unnecessary feature. No I don't need my camera have a "brew coffee" function!

None of the "fix-it" people above can put together a proper meal though.

Madam Z is invited but couldn't make it (Constantine at it again). She sends Vertin a very elegant coat with a water proof enchantment to keep her both warm and dry. She she noticed Vertin's grown a bit taller and she'll most likely need a new coat.

Tooth Fairy also couldn't make it (helping Madam Z so she can get leave the office sooner and they can celebrate with wine). She sends Vertin a jar of candies and a finely crafted pocket knife. Why a pocket knife? No one knows for sure. Despite no one getting it at first, whenever they have a package they can't open, a freshly picked fruit from the garden, etc. they ask Vertin if she has her knife. Of course she does. She's Suitcase Dad lol. Tooth Fairy was predicting the future.

Sotheby will give her candies that are actually healing potions! It's one of her newest creations! They're more convenient than carrying potion bottles. There are a few...side effects but nothing too major. Vertin is extremely grateful for this and carries a few in her pocket at all times in case someone gets hurt. This usually ends up being herself (in combat) or Sotheby tripping and scraping her knees, palm, etc. She'll hesitate to take the candy herself (because what if someone else needs it later?), even when she's barely standing but heaven forbid one of her people gets a boo-boo or a bruise. It's frustrating as it is endearing.

Sonetto gives her a tin of her favorite brand of tea and a thermal blanket. Vertin's the type of person with a cooler body temperature. In winter, her hands are freezing! This worries Pupnetto even though the Foundation trains them to endure cold temperatures. However, most of the other members end up snuggling in the heated blanket, including Sonetto herself (she is slowly unlearning the Foundation's way of suffering pointlessly) but she will share it with Vertin when she does. Vertin doesn’t mind. Honestly, Sonetto is hot blooded (the opposite of her) so having her nearby makes it warmer anyway.

And Sonetto's always at her side. She doesn't worry about the cold.

Druvis gives Vertin a wand with her arcanum built into it. It's shaped like a pistol, similar to Schneider's but it's nonlethal. The "bullets" are infused with the slime from Druvis's thorns and can hinder enemy movements (inflict petrify status). This way she can "protect" Vertin even if they're apart. With more eyes on the Suitcase than ever, she believes Vertin needs to take extra precautions. Vertin takes very good care of the gun (though she's never had to use it in real combat yet) and when they do co-op missions with other departments it garners a lot of attention from the soldiers.

Druvis is not accepting requests at this time.

Blonney gives her an ugly Christmas sweater but her gag gift backfires when Vertin looks cute. Stupid yes, but cute. Also the fabric is very soft and Vertin seems very cozy inside.

Later, Blonney gives her the real gift. She was too shy to give it to her in front of the others but there's a hand written card thanking her everything she's done for her and Jessica. There's money in the card of course. Jen also gives her a little short story she wrote. Not a horror one, but a sweet one about a curious kitten going on misadventures and making friends. Vertin can immediately tell its based on the shenanigans she gets into with her crew members. Blonney doesn't stick around long (blushing too hard) but Vertin is moved by this. The crew members are represented by their Udimos!

Jessica gives Vertin a doll (think chibi) she made that looks like the Timekeeper and it has removable accessories. For Christmas, the chibi Vertin is wearing a Santa suit. Sometimes the doll goes missing from her shelf if she's gone for more than a day (work relates reasons). 98% of the time it's with Sonetto who crumbles like a guilty puppy if Vertin asks about its whereabouts. The separation anxiety is real. Vertin recognizes this and eventually says it looks happier in Sonetto's room. She asks Sonetto to please take good care of her (the doll). Vertin also makes more effort to "call" home or send a message with arcanum tech after this event.

She's not used to having people wait for her at home, but one day in the near future she will be.

#reverse 1999 #ask #HC galore #tis the season #i need someone to stop me #what do people say these days #sedate me?#do that

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dilfhos · 7 months

Text

sooo this is gonna be a messy rant on the observations ive made between different writer communities, blog interactions and overall “status”. just silly little things I’ve noticed in my 4+ years being on tumblr btwn 2 diff blogs. and this is about no one specific, a very generalized post so if you find urself offended i honestly dont know what to tell you?? :o do better ig. & if you relate, i feel for you. TLDR @/end.

i dont like interacting/ building connections with people but not for the reasons ppl think. im not stuck up or pretentious or weird or anything. just another anime-enjoyer who loves to write in her free time. nobody special by a longshot!! i enjoy writing, always have since before i was a teen. (wasn’t always ff tho!).

but over the years ive just noticed fandom writing has its gritty sides that no one talks about often and its no mystery why so many prolific/ popular writers deactivated, me included. i had some shitty experiences and have seen friends go bc of it.

firstly, I’ve noticed, once you start interacting and building friendships with people, it’s easier to see the bigger perspective of where ppl stand and the blatant hierarchy of friendships and groups. same applies to that outside. like its literally just me n’ my bsf then my acquaintances bc mfs be weirddd omg its like cults or something. like thats why initially I didn’t interact w/anyone starting on my new blog. that n’ fear of drama following from my last blog ugh. ‘Cept the few i’ve met on my old blog (like my wifey)

not to mention i have bad anxiety. and sometimes im cue-deaf. i dont always pick up what people put down and vice versa and it makes me conscious in a lot of my interactions. so a part of me doesn’t want to interact at all to avoid all awkwardness and possible miscommunications. that’s not to say i don’t notice subtle changes in interactions after one situation / conversation or so forth, that in myself or witnessed between other ppl. (im perceptive, just not that good conversationalist lol. like i really have to try.)

but then…if you don’t interact with people on here, your chances of building an audience or a reader base is slim to none. the likelihood of developing relationships is zip. because you’re already perceived and pegged as just another tumblr writer. pause. to clarify, a writer who doesn’t want any recognition or interactions from mutuals or new friends. or just a lonely writer? a introverted, lonely writer. which leads to little to none interactions (anons, reblogs, moots —exposure.)

so then its like you’re kinda placed btwn a rock n a hard place. and there’s absolutely no problem with that! in fact this is the best part—meeting friends and like-minded people! people that make being online all the more worth it right? thirsting over fictional characters and sharing in each other’s works!

but you have to be in specific circles it seems. but then you can’t imply that you want to be in those circles bc then you’re desperate.

but well, then you cant purposefully want to be independent or be on your own or else you’re a hater, hypocrite or stuck up. not to mention, no one will reblog your stuff lol. no one will interact fr, and you’re friendless essentially. and god forbid if you disagree on something as if opinions don’t exist btw! then you’re being ganged up on. (like omg grow up!)

but then if you reach out you’re seen as trying to wedge in or kiss ass? you interact and follow and you’re ignored or left hanging? (bc im gonna touch your hand when i say this—it never gave fan, your majesty of horny nerds) and this is about ALL the writing communities and fandoms—spicy content, black content and dark content. ALL.

yet no one wants to talk about the pregnant elephant in the room—bias. and favoritism. also people seem to have a hard time being direct with how they’re feeling toward/about someone ( in a good or bad way) which in turn leads to a lot of miscommunication and subliminal attacks. (not to mention hate anons? one of my moots just had her inbox flooded w/them recently, ew.)

you can lead a horse to water AND you can write a 500-word essay on the observations made on tumblr writers as a whole. (a long ass post on the truth on behalf of those feeling this too)

also, slapping a HEY LOOK AT ME! IM A WRITER WHO WANTS INTERACTION AND FRIENDS! on a blog is frankly embarrassing. it shouldn’t even take all that seeing how easy it is for others wanting the same thing.

or doing less to achieve the same result.

not to mention, yall shit on ppl who essentially feel this way altogether bc you peg them as sb who doesn’t “try” or just jealous when their own works are phenomenally written themselves. ive seen it. and ive lived it. never gave jealousy baby.

at the end of the day, we’re all writers— either longterm or hobbyists. (personally, im longterm) self-indulgent or not! and its absolutely amazing when people are being fair in how they spread love and feedback to their writers.

Secondly, its not news that people have to want to reblog your fics so that their followers can reblog, so they can reblog, and their followers can reblog and so forth. but ppl honestly dont care atp bc once they’ve already read it, they owe you nothing. and apparently asking for reblogs is crass and bold. (imma do it anyway) but putting your very all into a story just to turn and see a half-thought out hc soaring 3k in 2hrs and 5k in a day — you have to stfu, open your ass and take it. keep it cute!

you’re getting fucked after all!!

because if you complain—you’re just jealous and lazy and uncreative!! and i hate that to seem like a writer worth a damn, you have to change up your writing style every two weeks to fit in with trending waves.

“no more poetic long fics, nobody’s into that! short, snappy slutty shots are all the rage!” “ppl are only into these specific tropes but you can’t exceed 2k words!” “only add trending characters to these hcs! ppl love them only!” “don’t write too much about a specific character or else ill unfollow you!” its exhausting.

i am well within my right as a literary artist to desire more feedback and interaction on anything i put out. period. and you are too! 🫵

God, im tired of that stupid, ‘you have to enjoy your writing for yourself and not worry about notes’ line. i do love my writing! don’t get me wrong there’s nobody id rather write like if not myself fr. not to mention the inspiration i draw from famous literary authors. however, i would love feedback and the same energy that i see with others in my same caliber.

and when i see others that didn’t even try fr—its a slap in the face to put it bluntly.

i can want silly little comments and notes about something i cherish and put out for that reason and yall aren’t gonna make me feel bad about it. sorry! like yall really be making people feel shitty for wanting the same type of interactions you get! especially when its harmless, bye asf. nb want to recipe to ur peach cobbler b!

the only one giving push back are those appointed popular /top blogs n’ cliques tho. now personally, i honestly dgaf if you have 20 followers or 25k, writing is writing and if its good you should want to support it regardless of following count/interaction right?

unfortunately, and quite unsurprisingly its not the case for the rest of this hellhole lol. there’s always gonna be some “big blog” in any part of tumblr or any social media for that matter.

but when the sole purpose being on a site like tumblr to write is mainly exposure, then it just makes it ten times worse especially if it seems that these blogs are steady at the top of every. single. tag. and listen, i know how initially stupid that sounds but when you’ve picked up on patterns for as long as i have, well iykyk.

so imma be real bc no one else will, half of the posts that yall see with 25k notes have alr been done. just different characters, different words, different dialogue. And 8/10 its been done by sb who only received 100 notes. Thats the evil part. whats more is that it lacks the creativity the one post with 100-300 notes is filled with completely.

POP QUIZ! what post would readers be more inclined to read? — one that says 10k (ohhh that must be popular!) or the one with only 150 (oh i guess nb really liked that one) that no one is even willing to reblog for MORE. and BOOM. now yall wonder why so many great writers LEAVE, its a fucking joke.

so unfortunately its no longer only about or only on readers anymore. its about who you know and who you know is willing to support your fr. who is willing to REBLOG your fics for their friends and followers, so that their friends and followers can reblog. to fit in you actually have to get in these days and it makes it all less enjoyable. makes it a chore and if you aren’t ‘doing it right’ ultimately it makes you feel shitty about your writing. (Please don’t, you are doing amazing. its the platform.)

it makes people not want to jump into writing. it pushes away those who actually want to join writing communities and meet people without feeling like they have to jump thru hoops to thrive or worse—live in other ppls shadows. and then it deters those from speaking up in fear of being shut down by bigger groups. ive seen it happen time and time again.

lastly, and this is the juiciest part! you absolutely cannot say anything about any of this bc you’re complaining and a fisher just looking for attention and not someone who just want things to be fair all over. play the game, right? ( wrong. and if this is your logic, you suck! )

its no longer about making flashy banners and pretty themes. its no longer about how many clever directory links you add or how many games you initiate on your blog or whether or not you’ve reblogged your fic three times already. its about your “friends”, other mutuals, and blogs willing to support you too. not just the audience. audience gonna do what they want regardless. reblog, don’t reblog, whatever. “at least ive read it right?” but everyone knows this. duh! but it’s obvious who doesn’t care as long as they’re on top of that tag! its admirable in a way but it sucks for those wanting to break out and build some kind of readerbase and/or make friends.

TLDR; people need to stop being bias and be fair and open lol. stop picking favorites and share the love all around. you see another person writing your favorite character or trope, give them a fucking chance and reblog, regardless if they’re in your ‘circle’ / radar or not. regardless if you know them or not. hell, let them put you on to a new fandom. bc writing is writing and making new moots and finding new fics seem to be what everyone loves to showcase until its time to actually do it. no wonder people get discouraged to make friends and write, yall treat it like some kind of secret society when its supposed to be fun💀 not a competition. (yall need to dead this clique-y shit. )

#writers #writers of tumblr #WATCH EVERYONE SKIP OVER THIS DHDHDJDN #OH OH OH #and im black #LMAO THATS THE PUNCHLINE #so #all of this isnt only happening in a general writing fandom #but the little corner for my black people??#and in the corners of other minorities #IT HAPPENS HERE TOO DHGSGJG #nb is safe🙅🏾‍♀️#i thought we were escaping exclusivity?#and assumptions made about other people??#trust when i say this is NOT about anyone specific #just silly little observations #and pieces of my experiences #so any complaints #SHOVE IT SHOVE IT SHOVE IT!#will delete if this starts a revolt #or not bc i love chaos in the name of truth #i hope yall can feel the sarcasm this is kinda longer than i intended but i wanted to be as thorough as possible in my point #been working on this for a min #im not tagging as discourse bc this isn’t what this is #and if you treat is as such imma just assume you’re exactly who im talking about and keep it pushing🤷🏾‍♀️#just be better is all im saying #BYE I JUST CAUGHT SO MANY MISTAKES #the shame #i was caught up #but yall get it

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beanghostprincess · 5 months

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well since you asked so nicely, what are all your straw hats sexuality (and gender identity?) headcanons :D

ps you dont have to explain them all if it's too much for you ^^

I love you so much for this mwah mwah /p I love when people send me asks like this <33

: ̗̀➛ [Luffy] Sexuality: Aspec. I'm very, very specific with this so I would have to write a whole paragraph to explain it well, but I'll try to do it in fewer words. I used to headcanon Luffy as asexual but the demi-sexual headcanon is growing on me. Only sexual with Zoro, though. Like- I ship Luffy with more people but imo he only feels sexually attracted to Zoro. Something something 'the bond between a captain and his first mate'. Romantic attraction: I can see him being demi-romantic (once again only romantic with Zoro. Or Sanji, even) but I personally see their relationship very Aroaspec QPR. Aromantic and Demi-sexual with a very deep bond with his first mate and his cook. Gender: Transmasc. Demi-boy. He/They. I think he, like, resonates more with being a boy but still doesn't fit the binary enough to be one. And transmasc because. Well. Have you seen him?

: ̗̀➛ [Zoro] Sexuality: Homosexual. Gay. The gayest man you've ever seen. I think he's demi-sexual too in the sense that only Luffy or Sanji would make him go insane and aroused, but he would sleep with other men just because. Like fr, just because he can. Idk. Homosexual behavior everywhere. He's so fucking gay. If there was a gay contest between OP characters he would probably win or end up in a tie with Nami, Law, and Kid. Romantic attraction: Demi-romantic. This dude is obsessed with his captain only. First mate things. I seriously believe that being a first mate makes you inherently unable to fall in love with somebody else. Well, perhaps Sanji too, but I'm not that much of a Zosan so I don't think about how they would work. And still, he'd be Demiro anyway. Gender: Transmasc guy because, once again, have you seen him? Dude even has a scar on his chest. Man tits. Love him. He/Him.

: ̗̀➛ [Nami] Sexuality: Graysexual Lesbian. Some might argue with me on this because she has a different girlfriend every arc, but I honestly think that she only feels genuine sexual attraction sometimes and it's not often. Playfully flirting doesn't equal genuine sexual attraction. Romantic attraction: Grayromantic Lesbian. Because, once again, people might not agree with me, but I think she doesn't have crushes often and she falls into more of a romantic gray area. Never with men, though. God forbid. Never with men. That much is clear, I hope. Gender: Demi-girl. She/They. My babygirl. My girlboss. Like I said with Luffy, I think she embraces being a girl but still doesn't fall into that term exactly and doesn't mind They/Them or more androgynous looks/terms at all. In fact, she loves them.

: ̗̀➛ [Usopp] Sexuality: Bisexual. I love him. He be pulling blonde bitches everywhere and by blonde bitches I mean Kaya and Sanji. Something that always makes me and my BFF laugh is the fact that he's canonically very normal about women's bodies, unlike Brook or Sanji or even Franky. Like, he's pretty decent and respectful and he's, well, a normal human being. I appreciate the bare minimum when half of the characters are perverts sometimes. Romantic attraction: Birromantic. Pretty much the same thing I just said. Simple guy. So true, king. Although I like the Demi-romantic headcanon and I think he doesn't really get love at first sight and would be bothered by Sanji's view on this. I think Usopp is somebody who needs intimacy to develop a romantic crush on someone. So, yeah, I also like the demi-romantic thing but this could be just me trying to make everyone Arospec for no reason other than projecting. Gender: Non-binary. He/They but prefers They/Them, he just doesn't expect people to use those pronouns, and it isn't that big of a deal. Also transmasc. I'm obsessed with that, honestly. However, I think he wouldn't use the term Non-binary? I think he'd just use Unlabeled, perhaps.

: ̗̀➛ [Sanji] Sexuality: Bisexual with a high preference for girls. For obvious reasons. Romantic attraction: Birromantic too. He's a hopeless romantic. Believes in love at first sight and everything. Gender: Transfem. Genderfluid. Any pronouns. I love you, Sanji. You're real to me. And I'm not explaining my reasons for these headcanons because watching the show is enough for you to understand this, but between his trauma and Momoiro Island... Like... I know what you are, girly pop. The closet is glass and the egg is hatching and you need to come out. Oda, please, let her ou-

: ̗̀➛ [Chopper] This one's just, like, Chopper. Chopper is Chopper. I don't think about this much. He canonically likes female reindeer. I have nothing else to say. Gender? Little guy. Sexuality? Honestly, if somebody gives him a reindeer boyfriend I support that. So bisexual and birromantic, I guess. I don't know how it works for him. I don't think he cares. It's not that he's too young because he's canonically a teenager already, I just don't think they've encountered enough reindeer for me to form an opinion on this. Why the hell am I writing so much to say something so fucking stupid. I'm sorry. Let's move on.

: ̗̀➛ [Vivi] Sexuality: Demi-sexual Lesbian. I don't think she's ever thought about sex as something she wants or feels attracted to. At least not until Nami shows up. Romantic attraction: Lesbiab. Lebanese. Dyke. Bollera in Spanish. Girl kisser. Woman liker. Homosexual. No men allowed between her legs and her heart. Friend of Ellen, as Annie Edison would say. Gender: I think she's a cis girl. She/Her. Would literally punch violently anyone who misgendered somebody from the crew. My princess. My girlfriend, actually. Her pronouns are loveof/mylife.

: ̗̀➛ [Robin] Sexuality: Bisexual but also probably Graysexual because I don't think she feels attraction often and doesn't really get aroused if it doesn't come with other emotions. Preference for big, and gentle men. By big, gentle men I mean Franky and Jinbe. And by gentle I mean Brook. The four of them together, btw. Romantic attraction: Birromantic. I think she's just, like, vibing. Learning to love. She has so much trauma she deserves to be in a tender relationship and she just happens to be with four men but she knows how to appreciate a woman. Gender: Transfem. She/Her. You know those older trans women who give the most comforting, calm, mature energy in the world? That's Nico Robin. Gonna keep it SFW but she tops Franky 100%. And also helped Sanji with her transition. I love this. Please adopt me, Robin. She's perfect.

: ̗̀➛ [Franky] Sexuality: Bisexual. If a man doesn't know how to appreciate another man's beauty, then he isn't manly enough. Women are perfect. Men are perfect. He's wonderful. I love him. Romantic attraction: Birromantic. I swear to fucking god he has something going on with Jinbe and Brook and Robin. I am so not normal about them- Gender: Cis man but he'd probably consider being a cyborg a third, secret gender, so I'm gonna let him have that too. He/Him.

: ̗̀➛ [Brook] Sexuality: Bisexual classy grandpa. The fact that he's a gentle grandpa has a lot to do with his sexuality (no it doesn't). He might be a pervert around women but at least he supports consent, so, he's better than Sanji here. Romantic attraction: Grayromantic because I feel he doesn't get real crushes easily. Especially since his boyfriend (his former captain) died. The trauma he probably has around romance now, damn. Gender: Hear me out he's the most Unlabeled thing ever. He/They. He's just bones and most people don't even know how to tell the difference between sexes when it comes to bones. Robin is actually the only one who knows his AGAB and she doesn't care anyway, so. Gender norms are bullshit and he's just the Soul King.

: ̗̀➛ [Jinbe] Sexuality: Graysexual and Bi. He's somewhere there in the Ace spectrum. I just don't know where. I think he's, like, not that interested in bodies and sex? He would only have sex with somebody he loves and it wouldn't even be for the arousal and the attraction. Romantic attraction: Demi-romantic, which is not the same as gray. Because I think he'd need, like, to spend time with Robin/Franky/Brook to form a deep bond and then he'd slowly and gently start falling for them individually. I swear I am so normal. Please, they should adopt me. I want the four of them to be my parents. Gender: Cis man. He/Him. Biggest trans supporter in the whole fucking world.

The Going Merry is actually called the Going Liberal and the Thousand Sunny is technically the Theysand Sunny and with the help of their ships the straw hats are trying to find the Woke Piece.

#one piece always saying trans rights #okay you might notice that i'm projecting on most of them but i like aroaspec characters #one piece #strawhat pirates #monkey d. luffy #roronoa zoro #nami #usopp #black leg sanji #tony tony chopper #nefertari vivi #nico robin #franky #brook #jinbe #not gonna tag the ships but yeah it's zolusan/sanuso/namivivi/and whatever the adults of this ship have going on

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triflesandparsnips · 7 months

Text

I've spent a couple days now trying to find the right words for this, and I still don't know if it's quite right, but-- well, fuck it. I need to tell it in three parts, because I'm not sure it breaks down more easily than that, so let's start with:

Stede knew.

...that is to say: The more I think about it, and in light of what we're seeing so far in season 2 (though hey, the new episode drops tonight, who knows, who knows, but--)

--but the more I think about it, the more sure I am that Stede has always known that he's attracted to men-- and he definitely knew, all along, that he was attracted to Ed in particular.

It's been a popular (and very entertaining) theory that maybe he didn't know. There was certainly a lot of static on the line whenever the topic came up in season 1. He seemed to need help identifying "love"; he didn't respond to Ed's flirting or half-attempted moonlight kiss; he didn't, in fact, try anything that wasn't obscured behind ten thousand layers of plausible deniability to the degree that it was reasonable to interpret him as naive or innocent or completely unaware of his own queerness.

But I think... I think that's what it was. Obfuscation. Hiding behind the relative safety of a presumed ignorance.

Because it all comes back, over and traumatically-over, to that queer need for the language of safety.

Listen: Stede Bonnet grew up keenly aware that being the kind of person he was-- being soft, being gay, being different, being queer-- was reason enough for the world to beat the shit out of him even when he was just a socially unacceptable level of queer (picking flowers as a boy, staying unmarried as a man). In Stede's time period, being any more obviously queer than that, and being subsequently found out, could lead to literal death.

So Stede would have been aware that that sort of attraction wasn't safe-- or, at least, that acting on it wasn't safe in any but the most plausibly deniable of ways... unless, and until, he could be absolutely sure.

And that's the thing, that right there, that's the next part of this:

Stede knew, but that doesn't mean he trusted himself-- or Ed.

It's like this:

When you're somebody who's been punished before (socially and physically) for just the appearance of queerness-- god forbid the acceptance or celebration of it-- then you're going to develop a whole lot of ways to protect yourself from anyone getting proof that you're as queer as they suspect.

So if you're caught looking-- no, no, you were just thinking about a book you wanted to read, silly Stede Bonnet, head in the clouds--

--and if your hand is caught lingering too long-- no, no, that can't be right, because you don't touch anyone at all, see? Oh that Stede Bonnet, awkward as anything, barely knows where his tea cup is--

--and no, absolutely not, you can't be fooled into believing a friend might be something more, no matter how flirtatious his body, no matter how much he seems to cherish your regard-- because either he's lying to you (and you learned that one well enough as a child, didn't you), or... or worse, that's just how some men feel friendship, and you're the one making it strange, making it queer, and he wouldn't be like that anymore if you just stopped bothering him quite so much, toddle on back to your wife, Stede Bonnet, and it'll all be fine again...

The tragedy of the first season might really be, out of all that happened, that a man could kiss Stede Bonnet on the mouth and say he made him happy and ask that they plan a life together--

And Stede still doubted that Ed really meant it.

Stede knew, and he doubted Ed... but he was on the road to trusting himself.

I think Stede went to sea to come out.

I think becoming a pirate was a deliberate queering of his previous life, the first step in him trying to actually allow himself an intentional queer identity in a world where the rules, boundaries, and kinds relationships that were expected and acceptable were broad enough for him to finally exist.

And he was right! Because, like-- jfc, of all the reasons the crew wanted to mutiny, it wasn't because Stede was kinda swish. Of all the reasons Spanish Jackie was going to de-nose him, it wasn't because he was swanning around camp af. Calico Jack did some damage, sure, but he dropped it once his overall aim was achieved-- making it less about social punishment and more another way to needle Stede into responding. Hell, even Izzy's initial interactions with him (regardless of what extra ammo he brought to bear later, which tbh may need separate examination entirely once we get more of season 2) were bound up in Stede interfering in his business and somehow succeeding rather than anything having to do with Stede's queerness.

And when you consider it from that angle... my god, the man was a one-man pride parade and his love of Edward Teach was the float at the front.

He used coded language with Ed in the first five minutes he was conscious enough to fuckin do so ("Do you fancy a fine fabric?" --christ, watch Stede's eyes before he asks that question, the way he clocks Ed turning away to test the cashmere, and when Ed gives a safe response that's when Stede shares more, just watch him)--

He took Ed's silk, touched Ed's chest, complimented his looks-- and even if you trust Stede's memory of it over Ed's, where there was no half-gasp, no aborted kiss-- Stede did all that, and Ed didn't punish him for it. My god, when they went their separate ways, Stede turned back to look-- and so did Ed--

He draped his lace cuffs over Ed's bare wrists as they stood together at tea. He let himself believe Ed was committing to a life together when they agreed to co-captaincy. When he thought Ed had left permanently with Calico Jack he was explicit with Lucius about what it meant ("I think it's over")--

Look: Stede has, in comparison and in opposition to his previous life, been a reckless bolt of rainbow glory almost the entire time we've see him in season 1. It just doesn't look like it from the outside because... he's really good at the language of safety.

So all this to say:

It makes sense, Stede having no concern for telling everybody in the entire pirate world apparently about his love for Ed.

It makes sense for Stede to say "I should have told him how I feel"-- because he knew, even then, he was just afraid he was wrong.

And so it would make sense, to me, if Stede, back in proximity with Ed and with definitive proof that Ed felt the same way as Stede (or had, at least, at one point), proceeds to get absolutely weird with how much gooey queer LOVE he throws at Ed from the moment they're both coherent enough to form words.

BECAUSE:

Stede couldn't trust the straight world to be safe? Well now he's dead there, time to be queer af

AND

Stede couldn't trust that Ed wanted him the same way? Well babe just went around making the world burn and then promptly died trying because he got his heart broken by Stede, so Stede is going to be 100% insufferable about showing this very special boy just how much he is absolutely adored.

And I cannot wait to see what bullshit he comes up now that he finally feels safe.

#is this coherent?#no clue #I'm working on MINUS hours of sleep #cw homophobia #queer love #queer identity #Stede Bonnet has been a dark (weird) horse all along #hey can someone else make the connection to what #our flag means death #really means in light of my thoughts above #our flag means death s2 spoilers #our flag means death season 2 rampant speculation

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conspirartist · 2 months

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Though I should share some of my silly lil headcanons for Twisted since y'all seemed to like the Genshin ones. Today's victim is Crewel, because I have too many thoughts about that man.

As always don't take any of them too seriously, I do those for fun and that means most of the time I just straight up fabricate stuff with little to no regard for canon.

First headcanon comes from a bit of a misunderstanding from my part and lots of my other headcanons come from it. Point is, for the longest time I though Crewel's pointer/cigarette holder thingie was a walking cane. I only realized that wasn't the case when my gf pointed out that I always draw him with a cane despite the fact he doesn't have one in canon.

So yeah headcanon (that I thought was canon for way too long) number one:

- Crewel always has a cane with him, people chalk it up to being a fashion statement (which it is in part), but he does need it for medical reasons.

Expanding on the cane headcanon:

* There are days he doesn't really need it, but he always has it with him in case of having a flare up (he wounded his leg a few years after graduating from NRC, although it healed all right he still experiences pain from time to time)

* He has several different canes so he can coordinate them with his outfits including a few that were enchanted to change color or to let out sparks whenever they touch the floor

* He uses magic to change the grip of the more fashion like canes so they're more comfortable

* Pratical classes almost always mean he'll have to use his cane, since he'll have to stand and walk around class a lot (least he wants to risk someone inhaling fumes they shouldn't or Seven forbid, blowing up a cauldron).

I'll expand on the topic of his leg injury latter on, but for now some headcanons for his classes/teacher career.

- Although he has quite the reputation for his strictness and temper, Crewel is a student favorite

- He has a soft spot for his puppies, even if he's not open about it; the kind of teacher that will ask you to stay after class to check you're ok

- He's very perceptive about his students and he will try to accommodate for them if he notices they're having a hard time

- He will nag his students into taking better care of themselves

* Coming to class looking disvelished? He'll click his tongue and straighten your tie and ask if you had to rush to class

* Looking too drowsy or sleepy? He will tell you to wash your face and will ask you if you're getting enough sleep

* Feeling faint because of low blood pressure? Your assignment will come back with a small note telling you to remember to eat

- I also think he notices students' efforts a lot, be it related to classes or just in general

* You managed to get your marks up after studying even if it's not by a lot? You get a little message congratulating your hard work

* That one quiet student who always comes to class wearing a beaten up hoodie tried something with their hair? They'll get a quiet compliment when handing in their homework

- His first years teaching were particularly tough

* His personal life was in shambles, Trein kinda of coerced him into applying for a teaching position

* He was on his early twenties, barely out of college, the third years were almost his age - he had to fight for their respect (which is why he developed his more 'aggressive' teaching approach)

* It was also around the time he got his leg injury so he was still navigating getting used to his new limitations

* He had a student who upturned their cauldron over themselves during one of his first pratical classes, he had to rush the kid to the infirmary; he was nearly inconsolable once he made to the teachers' lounge

- Crewel takes lab safety very seriously and will put the fear of God on whoever don't follow safety guidelines (basically everyone's lab wear cards, I can heat this man snapping at them 24/7)

- He buts heads with Crowley a lot, over both curriculum and how to deal with the students, it doesn't bear many fruits and generally ends with he doing stuff himself while Crowley remains blissfully unaware (or pretends to anyway) of his own incompetence

* One of such instances was to take love potions out of the pratical curriculum, because he wasn't about to teach the students how to do what are exencially roofies. Since Crowley kept arguing that he couldn't change the silabus. He ended up teaching how to identify love potions; the symptoms they cause; their main antidotes; the current legislation around them and the ethics involved on the production and use of such potion

Now onto some more general stuff and backstory:

- He was afraid of dogs as a child but got over it with time (and a lil exposition, his childhood friend had a very sweet pup)

- He went to NRC the same year his childhood friend Nico (my twisted version of Anita) both were sorted into Pomefiore

- He doesn't have much of a relationship with his parents but he's very close to a maternal aunt

- He has a tendency to depressive episodes but currently (canon time) his symptoms are on remission

- During High School Crewel did very well in Alchemy, but he was also a very skilled summoner (he had a special affinity to hellhounds, known for being temperamental but extremely loyal)

- It was also during his school years that Crewel met Rose (my twisted version of Roger). At first the pair didn't get along, Crewel feeling like she was stealing his best friend from him, but with time the trio grew very close

- Rose taught him how to play the piano, she used to play a little jingle in it to tease Crewel every chance she got (think of a parody of the Cruella song)

- When Nico and Rose got together Crewel was a little afraid of being left out, but it turned out none of them intended to leave him behind, he was the best man at their wedding. They talked about the future as a weird family of three, unconventional but so very happy

- Rose and Nico got into a car accident, a few months after they got married. They both died in the crash. Crewel was devastated by their loss, suddenly he found himself so very alone

- Rose and Nico had familiars of their own, hellhounds, who always seemed to take a liking to their summoner friend. Moved by grief and a wish to hold onto whatever was left of his friends Crewel tried to summon the beasts, to reach someone who knew the pair as closely as him

* That's how he got his leg injury

- Around that time Trein came across Crewel, a little too thin for comfort and way too quiet. Unwilling to let the brilliant young man who was once his pupil dig himself even deeper he contacted Crowley and all but strong armed the young alchemist to NRC

- Crewel has three dogs (all dalmatian of course) a couple, Prometeus and Pandora, and their pup, Panacea. What people don't know is that the trio are actually summons, Prometeus and Pandora were Rose's and Nico's familiars, they forged a new contract with Crewel after a while.

- He has a foster license, although he never had to use it, he keeps an eye on the students he suspects don't have a good home life.

- He gets a lot of notes and trinkets from his pups, I mean students, on fathers day. And he absolutely melts at them, in private, he gushes to the other teachers, he keeps everything in a box in his room, he just loves his students so much

- People called him dad in class so many times he lost count, he doesn't make a big deal out of it but it warms his heart

- He loves when he gets news from graduated students

- My point is he is a proud father and no one will ever convince me otherwise

#ari's random ramblings #twisted wonderland #twst wonderland #twst headcanons #divus crewel #twst crewel #crewel backstory #crewel headcanons #why i gave him trauma?#well i love the angst #being my favorite is never good folks #i be putting the ficcional peeps on situations #thats a long one

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duochromium · 4 months

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me and my buddy W.D. Gaster were discussing headcanons about how different 2hus act when drunk and i found it amusing so here’s the highlights

- reimu is very much an alcoholic but in denial. marisa is aware and is currently planning an intervention with kasen.

- cirno and her gang collectively have zero alcohol tolerance. cirno barely even acts different when drunk anyways she’s already a klutz and has no filter

- byakuren has only gotten drunk once in her life and she regrets it every single day of her life

- seija acts extremely formal and polite when drunk. like a businesswoman at a meeting type formal. no slurred speech or anything

- ran does not allow chen to touch alcohol. there’s no law against young youkai drinking and it wouldn’t effect her brain development or anything, ran just forbids it because she’s kind of a helicopter parent

- yukari refuses to drink any alcohol that isn’t extremely fancy red wine. after enough drinks she starts hitting ran

- aunn has never gotten drunk because she doesn’t see the appeal. there’s no moral code as a komainu not to get drunk or anything she just thinks alcohol is nowhere near as cool as religious freedom

- you know how kyouko is so loud that she has to actively try not to hurt people’s ears? yeah i’m sure it’s not fun being around kyouko when she has much less of a filter

- sanae refuses to get drunk. suwako and kanako gave her the usual “alcohol bad” lectures and stories that you give to your children and it stuck with sanae for life. no reimu i don’t want to drunk with you it will give me permanent brain damage

- sagume has sworn off alcohol because she knows if she were to get drunk she’d probably blow up an entire continent or something by accident

- utsuho is a genuine threat to the wellbeing of gensokyo when drunk. last time she was given unsupervised access to alcohol it caused an entire incident. satori has banned all alcohol in the mansion except for a liquor stash that she hides from the other three

- we have no idea what would happen to koishi if drunk. she’s already fucked up enough

- yuyuko, due to how much of a fatass she is, is nigh immune to alcohol

- eiki has never been drunk but komachi is drunk on the job over half the time. eiki gave up on trying to lecture her about it decades ago. “at least she’s doing work at all”

- remilia doesn’t really drink but she does have a glass of red wine within her proximity at all times just so she looks more elegant

- sakuya refuses to drink for fear of it disturbing her work flow but in the astronomically rare event of her actually getting a break she immediately begins drinking more than even an oni could handle

- patchouli stopped drinking a decade ago after she invented magic drug spells which she has since formed an unhealthy relationship with. marisa tried it once and called it “phony bullshit” citing that “it just doesn’t cut it like the real damn thing”

- if drunk words are sober thoughts then i really don’t want to think about what yuuka would be like drunk. the words she must usually keep to herself are probably enough to bring gods to their knees

i encourage you to reblog with your own additions

#touhou #touhou project #headcanon

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ofthehands · 3 months

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The Moments

A short pre-Lefton/ getting together fic, reflecting on the radically different moments each of them realized they might feel something special for each other. ~4000 words, Warnings for religious guilt/ some internalized homophobia, and violent thoughts. All and all pretty fluffy for this pair lol.

Lefty had been making excuses for a long time.

Excuses for family who needled him about a girlfriend, who saw potential for romance in all of his friendships with girls, no matter how flimsy. Excuses for the girls his friends tried to set him up with, a thousand little reasons why, while they were all very nice and very pretty, he didn’t really want to go steady. Excuses for the rare girl unlucky enough to pursue an interest in him, a purity promise or long lost love far away- all lies which spattered him with guilt he couldn’t rid himself of for days. Excuses for himself, assurances that the Lord would one day set in his path a woman who he would actually have a spark with, a girl who could make him feel the way he was supposed to.

And, most concerningly of all, a thousand little excuses to brush up against other men. Or, more accurately, one in particular. Which might be worse.

Drayton was his neighbor. His smoking buddy. His childhood friend. And now, that they were older, he was the unfortunate object of the affection Lefty tried to rationalize away. Things were mostly normal, between them. Lefty was confident there was no way Drayton knew, at least. He did his best to make sure of that. Lefty was wracked with shame every time he realized he had stared a little too openly or hugged a little too long, or leaned against him a little too fondly, and he did his best to avoid anything close to it. The closest they ever got regularly was when the tips of their cigarettes touched as they lit them together. It was a fine, normal thing for friends to do, but it flustered Lefty nonetheless. Their lips were only two cigarettes apart, and it was one of the few times Lefty regularly saw him smile. It wasn’t often he got to see it, but Drayton had such a handsome smile. Just thinking about it made his chest tight.

God, Lefty really needed a cigarette.

Not for that reason.

He just hadn’t had one in a while.

So, he headed to the gas station, hoping to catch Drayton on a break. He could smoke alone, of course. He just didn’t want to. It was fine, and normal, to want to spend a little time with a friend. There was nothing strange, or unseemly, or, God forbid, suspicious about that. He just hoped no one was there, that the station wasn’t busy, so he wouldn’t have to stand around in the lobby and wait. That might seem a bit strange.

He got lucky. No one was at the little gas station, and Drayton was able to slip away from the counter for a second for a smoke break. Lefty was grinning, maybe too much. Maybe he should stop. But he didn’t. He was excited. More than he should be, more than just a cigarette justified.

But that was fine.

Lefty was confident one day the Lord would put in his path that special girl who would catch his attention and steer him back in the right direction.

Then all this wouldn’t matter.

He had known he was lacking in some way since he was young. His brothers talked about girls first- about liking girls and the lengths they went to pursue dates. Lefty was confused, and his mother just chuckled when he asked her about the whole mess, telling him one day he would understand. But, as time marched on, Lefty felt like he lagged behind. When the boys around him started developing that interest too, he just didn’t. He wanted to. Because his brothers married young, and he expected he would too. His parents expected he would too. His pastor expected he would too. But Lefty, try as he might, never felt anything about girls. He knew when they were pretty. And plenty of them were. But he could never figure out how exactly that was meant to involve him. The adults around him tried to set him up on little chaperoned dates, and pestered him about the girls he hung around, trying to see if maybe one of them caught his eye. But none of them ever did. He asked his father, once, what it was like to have feelings for a girl. How he would know if it happened to him. And while he was nobody’s poet, the old man described it as best as he could.

“When you first start out it’s like… It’s like bein’ a moth in the woods at night, and seeing someone light a match. It’s a glint. It draws your eye. And you’re a little bit scared, and a little bit curious, and a hell of a lot excited. Then, as it goes on, that match becomes a fire. And the fire makes you warm, and becomes harder and harder to look away from. You want it, regardless of whether or not you probably should have it… And then, as all moths do, the want becomes too much. So you fly on into those flames and let it burn you up. And when you get burnt up, and you’re happy, and you stay happy, that’s how you know you’re in love.”

Lefty didn’t know what to do with that. Wasn’t sure he had ever even seen the match. But he kept looking, dutifully, hoping he would end up being a late bloomer, like everyone around him said.

Until then, he let himself enjoy what he had.

When he met Drayton he was just the neighbor boy. He hadn’t felt anything for him either, right away. They became friends, sort of. Mostly just because no one else was around. And, like dandelions through the sidewalk, their friendship grew in spite of the carefully maintained distance between them. And it endured, into their teenage years. Which was when the problem started.

Lefty felt a spark. The spark. The tiny but enduring flash of a match in the dark, the slightest tinge of warmth in his cheeks whenever they were together.

And then it got worse. Those moments, brushing against one another or laughing together or, God forbid, smoking together, became harder and harder to ignore. And they made Lefty feel warm and jittery and excited and so, so scared. Because it wasn’t right. And he knew it wasn’t right. It was supposed to be a girl. It had to be a girl. He couldn’t be like that. His friends, and his family, and most importantly the Lord wouldn’t accept that. Wouldn’t accept him. So Lefty did his best to avoid it.

To make excuses.

But, in spite of his excuses, and the many good reasons he had not to, he kept coming. Kept sharing laughter and warmth and cigarettes, trying desperately to ignore it.

Lefty and Drayton went to their usual spot, behind the gas station. Sat down together on the stoop. Drayton had smiled when he saw him, and Lefty felt warm. A small pack of customers had come in right as they were heading out, and Drayton had grabbed his hand, pulling him through and ignoring his boss. That meant more than it should have. Was nicer than it should have been. Lefty was still thinking about it. He shouldn’t still be thinking about it. Even if Drayton would never know, the Lord would. Lefty tried to clear it from his mind, focused on not thinking anything. He passed Drayton a cigarette and their fingers brushed and he dutifully thought nothing about it. They pressed the tips of their cigarettes together as Lefty fumbled with his lighter, trying to light them with a shaky hand, trying to keep his mind clear. Drayton chuckled and Lefty could feel himself blush and hoped he was sunburnt enough it wasn’t noticeable. He got it done. He lit the cigarettes, and they both took in a long drag, and he heard Drayton sigh, one of the few times he sounded like he was actually relaxed, one of the few moments in which he was at ease.

And Lefty wondered, as all moths do, what it would be like to burn.

Drayton found Lefty to be one of the most charming, kind, and handsome men he had ever known. Which actually just made Drayton want to kill him with a hammer. That was the simplest solution in his mind. The easiest thing to wrap his head around. Drayton was used to violence, very used to it. It was easy. Or at least easier than feeling. Sure, Drayton wasn’t good at killing, not like most of his family. That was why he had applied for the job at the gas station when he realized his family had eaten the guy who worked there before him. But he was pretty confident he could kill Lefty. Because he had to. Because the alternative was worse.

Drayton, since he was old enough to understand there were outsiders, had understood that he needed to avoid outsiders. He would have to talk with them, sometimes, to get things the family couldn’t make themselves, but he should never, ever get closer with them than that. Momma warned him from the time he was little about girls and women- told him and told him that they were nothing but trouble, and that he should avoid them and their tricks at all costs. Drayton did that beautifully. He never once had any of the girl trouble the other men in the family spoke of. However, unfortunately, Momma never warned him that boys could be tricky too.

Which was where this mess started. Drayton was a young boy, trying to do his chores and help take care of the property, doing as much as he could at that age, when he met him. That overly curious, all too friendly neighbor boy. Drayton tried his best to hold him at an arm’s length, to keep the little bastard out and away. But Lefty writhed his way into Drayton’s life like a worm digging through concrete. He had no idea how Lefty managed it- but he had. And by the time Drayton realized how attached he had gotten to the outsider, it was way too late.

It was a trap. Drayton knew it had to be some kind of trap. Outsiders could be useful, sure, but letting them too close was always a threat to the family, and Drayton was an absolute fool to have let that get as far as he did.

But even though he knew it, he couldn’t drag himself out of it. He liked Lefty. Genuinely. Which was a big problem. And it kept getting worse.

As they got older, Drayton got fonder of him. In a new way. In that kind of way. Which, for the first time in his life, raised the question in Drayton’s mind of whether or not what he wanted was wrong. By outsider’s moral standards, yes, it was. But he didn’t know what his family would think. He wanted to believe they wouldn’t mind it. They ate people, for fuck’s sake. He couldn’t see why they would draw the line at same sex attraction of all things. But he didn’t know that. And the chance they wouldn’t like it, that this was something they would find disgusting, rattled him. He didn’t give a rat’s ass about what society, or religious folks, or the law thought of what he was. But his family was everything. He would ask- if he could. But there was no one in his family he trusted enough to pose that question to without it coming back to haunt him in some way. He had a better chance to get the approval of his family than most. More than Lefty did by a hell of a lot. But, even then, if they didn’t mind all that, there was still the problem of the way that Lefty was.

An outsider. And a particularly soft one at that. Other outsiders had joined the family before, through marriages legal and not, but that was different. That was always between a man and a woman- and a man and a woman who could have children at that. That seemed to be the reason it was alright, in Grandpa’s eyes- it was natural for the family to grow, and in order for that to happen they would have to mingle with outsiders a little. But Drayton and Lefty couldn’t exactly expand the family any, unless they stole a baby or something. And, again, was the issue of Lefty’s particular softness.

Lefty believed in a whole lot of nonsense about the value of a life. He got upset when some random asshole in his church congregation got cancer, and when the old woman who used to run the library in Newt died, and even when a stray dog that used to lope around the gas station got hit by a truck. He had stopped, and pulled over, and took time out of his day to burry the dog, instead of using its body for something useful, talking about how crazy the world had gotten, and how cruel it was that whoever hit it didn’t even bother taking it off the road. If he couldn’t handle the death of a dog, Drayton had no idea how he would cope with not only witnessing the loss of human life, but taking part in the killing.

So they couldn’t be together. It just wouldn’t work out. But somehow, as per usual, Lefty hadn’t gotten the memo. He kept pestering Drayton, spending time with him and gazing at him with those big blue eyes and sharing cigarettes with him like the money didn’t matter, or like he was worth it or something. Even worse was the ritual of lighting the damn things, when he’d lean in close and nearly burn his hand because he was too busy looking at Drayton’s lips to pay attention to his damn lighter. It was endearing, and sweet, and way too much, and Drayton couldn’t stand to just leave him alone.

So Drayton pretty much had to kill him. Before this got too out of hand, before he got so wound up in it all that he couldn’t.

So he actually set out to do it. He heard from Grandpa that Lefty had gotten a job at the slaughterhouse, which was certainly a shock to hear. But it was also convenient. He knew the way, and the long hours they worked, and he knew he would be able to meet up with Lefty there near sundown. Then he would hit him with a hammer till he died, and be done with it. It couldn’t be that hard. Drayton hyped himself up for it the whole walk over there, hammer in the deep pocket of his too big slack pants. Just one wack. Or two. And a lot of blood. And the wiggling. And that would be that. Problem solved.

He got there around sundown, as expected. He had walked to the slaughterhouse before, when he worked there. So he also knew the layout, and had an idea of where Lefty would come out. A couple of workers milled out slowly, soaked in sweat and sprinkled with blood, trying to rub their wrists or their backs, and sometimes their noses. Drayton almost laughed, he was far beyond used to the smell. He walked around the parking lot for a minute, waiting, trying not to look suspicious enough to get remembered, when he saw him.

Lefty looked nothing short of haunted. He writhed out of the top half of his bloodstained overalls, and tied the arms around his waist, too far away in his own head to notice Drayton yet. The blood splatter on his clothes and skin made Drayton figure he must have been put in Grandpa’s pull crew, he was the only one who hit ‘em so hard and fast he sprayed the men around him like that. It suited him. By God, it suited him well. Lefty stepped into the parking lot in an uncertain way, stumbling on his feet. He wasn’t the only one who felt weak in the knees. Drayton could feel his heart slamming into his ribs. He went to Lefty’s side a little too fast, a little too enthusiastic.

“Enright!” he said. Lefty jumped as he noticed Drayton, who put his hand on his shoulder softly, turning him.

“Oh- Drayton- what’s- what brought you all the way out here?”

“I-” The hammer weighed heavy in his pocket, “I jus’- I jus’ wanted to see you.”

“You… You walked all this way just to see me?” Lefty asked softly. Fuck, that is suspicious.

“Well, yeah. I jus’... I missed you, I guess. Got used to you comin’ by to bother me. Figured this time I’d do the botherin’.” Lefty’s eyes lit up, and he smiled gently, and Drayton started to really, really worry he wouldn’t be able to do it. All his excitement had dissipated, and now he just felt fear around the task at hand. “You uh- you walkin’ home?”

“Oh- Y-yeah, I was just about to head back.”

“Let’s go together. I- I mean, ‘cause we’re neighbors and all.”

“I’d like that,” Lefty said.

They walked together, as the sun set, and Drayton became less and less sure of his plan with every step. He liked Lefty a lot. He had never liked anyone but family before- he didn’t have any other attachments to outsiders. Was one so bad?

It didn’t help that each time Drayton looked at him, he was looking back at him, nakedly fond for a second before flinching away shyly, outlined by the dark red sunset, and flecked tastefully with blood. Drayton didn’t know what to do with those thoughts, didn’t know how to place all that he felt for the man next to him into his world, into his life. So he just started to bounce up and down nervously, hoping Lefty didn’t notice or didn’t mind.

They came to a hill, up above their houses, a logical place to part.

But instead of going his way, like he probably should have, Lefty sat down on an old fallen tree, and just looked out over the land.

Instead of going his way, like he probably should have, Drayton joined him. It was comfortable, and quiet, there on the log. Overlooking everything. Drayton worried for a second Lefty might be able to see something he shouldn’t, looking at the Sawyer property from way up there. But it was far enough away that everybody over there just looked like ants.

It would be a fine place for a murder. No one would hear it, no one would see it. Drayton could just do it and that would be that. Lefty was too shy to meet his eye. He could have the hammer out and be bashing skull fragments into his brain before he’d so much as look up.

But when Drayton looked at Lefty, he could feel his will slipping. He cared about him. He cared about him too much. There was a bizarre softness to him, a softness Drayton was unfamiliar with. And while he thought he looked handsome speckled with blood, the blood from a head wound was different. Lefty looked over at him, their eyes catching, and for once Lefty didn’t avert his gaze. Drayton had been staring a little himself.

“Drayton?” Lefty asked softly. Drayton looked at his lips, and saw just a tinge of blood. Without thinking, he wiped it off with his thumb. In Drayton’s mind it was a perfectly average gesture. But, when he did it, it felt a lot more intimate. They stayed close. Too close.

“I- I’m sorry-”

“It’s okay,” Lefty said too quickly. They got stuck, at that point. There was nothing they could say, nothing they could do that felt right. Drayton should leave. He should up and leave and do his best to forget all about Lefty. But he couldn’t do it. He couldn’t make himself do it. He wanted to kiss him. He wanted to throw caution to the wind and kiss his friend. But he couldn’t do that either. He couldn’t deal with that- with all those feelings head on- to acknowledge them in such a way. He didn’t even want that- not really- he couldn’t- he had to think of his family- he was the only Sawyer of his generation, he would have to find a wife, he couldn’t be fooling around with another boy. And besides- Lefty wouldn’t accept it. He couldn’t want it. He was devout- a religious man. There was no way Lefty could have an interest in something Drayton couldn’t even wrap his head around wanting.

Or at least Drayton thought so until Lefty pressed their lips together.

It was a chaste, quick, slightly awkward first kiss between teenagers, and the only thing Drayton would ever change about it was how scared Lefty looked when he pulled away. Drayton tried to say something but-

“I’m- I’m so sorry- I don’t know what came over me- that was- that was-”

“Did you- was that… Do you…” Drayton didn’t know how the hell to ask what he wanted to know- didn’t know how to tell Lefty it was alright, that he wanted it too, when he could barely admit that to himself. “Do you… Do you want to do it again?” Lefty stopped apologizing, then, at least.

“Do I…” Lefty looked almost dazed.

“You can,” Drayton said. Then he regretted it, and got ready to back track, to pretend he hadn’t meant what he said- to figure out any way to get out of the mess he had just gotten himself into. But he had no such luck. He couldn’t get out any of those excuses before Lefty kissed him again. It was chaste and only a heartbeat longer, but it confirmed a lot of things for Drayton he didn’t want to be true.

“Drayton-”

“We- we shouldn’t do this,” Drayton said. “We- we can’t be doin’ this-”

“No- we- we shouldn’t,” Lefty agreed. He looked down, towards their homes, with an expression akin to guilt. Drayton didn’t know how the hell to get across everything he was thinking. He had no way of verbalizing that he enjoyed it, that he wanted to do it again, that they could never do it again, that his family wouldn’t mind and that his family would hate them, that they should meet every day and that they should never think of one another again, no idea of how to beg for forgiveness and ask him to do it again. They shouldn’t. They really, really shouldn’t. And yet-

“When… When’s your next shift?”

“Wh-what?”

“When’s your next shift at the slaughterhouse?”

“Well- uh t-tomorrow.”

“If… If I met you, and we walked home together tomorrow, would that be alright?” Drayton asked. There was a moment of silence. Then Lefty started to smile.

“Yeah. I… I would like that… I mean- if it’s not out of the way-”

“No- no. Of course not. We’re neighbors.”

They parted ways after that. Heading back to their houses with an awkward series of goodbyes and see you laters, both a little too happy to see each other again. Drayton went home with a fuzzy head, a warm chest, and a hammer heavy in his pocket.

He probably should beat Lefty to death with the hammer. It would be the simplest thing to do. But, as he thought more and more about seeing him again the next day, Drayton started to accept that he might not mind making his life a little more complicated if it meant spending time with his friend.

#lefton #drayton sawyer #lefty enright #trying to get some of my little works in progress done #so have this one so it cant take up anymore space in my brain #ive been doing some research/ picked up some supplementary stuff for some character analysis stuff I want to write #And i noticed an overwhelming theme of repression with Drayton- which I found pretty interesting #Id like to add that to more of my fics that feature Drayton as an important character #so heres the first run of that

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goodgomens · 9 months

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I get that the ending of GO2 hurts worse than sticking your unmentionables in a blender, but those of you saying it doesn't make sense or is OOC, or god forbid, PROPOSING AZIRAPHALE WAS MIND CONTROLLED, do not seem to understand how good characterization works.

Firstly, if Aziraphale was drugged/mind controlled into accepting the offer in the finale, that makes everything he said and did afterwards meaningless. Neil Gaiman is a very successful writer. I really believe he would not, under any sane circumstances, undo such a pivotal moment for a character with "LOL JK he was drugged 😂," because good writers don't write in a fundamental character flaw only to nuke it later with a twist that destroys all of their previous characterization. Aziraphale's crippling dependence on/devotion to heaven as a "force for good" has been there (practically screaming at the audience) since S1, and WAS NEVER RESOLVED, despite him being barred from heaven throughout S2. The only thing that he realized in S1 was that GABRIEL and the ARCHANGELS were flawed, and that they were orchestrating Armageddon without divine input. The S2 finale very clearly shows that Aziraphale did not pin that on the system of heaven and hell itself, as Crowley has.

I am going to attempt to explain why I believe that.

This season had a lot less emphasis on "Crowley's got a good side, Aziraphale's a bit of a bastard," than S1. In fact, there was almost none of that going on here, at least not explicitly. Instead, it focused on showing that Crowley and Aziraphale 1) both fundamentally didn't align with their head offices' MOs pre-armageddon and 2) that this was because they were both too good/kind to assimilate fully. Go watch the arc with Job again. Crowley can't bring himself to kill goats, let alone kids, and neither can Aziraphale, despite the fact that he knows it's good in theory because God and heaven want it. And yet, he doesn't go along with killing Job's kids because he knows it's wrong, and goes so far as to lie to his superiors (again) and, in his mind, damn himself for the sake of those kids. In the end though, Crowley helps him come to the conclusion that he is "an angel who goes along with heaven as far as he can," just as Crowley is "a demon who goes along with hell as far as he can," which apparently lets Aziraphale cope with the dissonance between his morals and heaven's orders.

So, if they have functionally the same mindset on paper, why don't they agree on what to do in the finale?

I think a lot of it is because they're both good, but that goodness is received very differently in their different roles and circumstances. Crowley is a demon who is crafty and mischievous, but ultimately, harm in the name of mischief is all that he's ever willing and able to do. He can't stoop to killing livestock, much less people. In S1 his goodness is set up to support his and Aziraphale's unique and ironic dynamic, with the plausible excuse that humans can do evil more creatively than he can, so he doesn't have to be genuinely evil. However, this season shows us another, much more relevant aspect of this goodness: it's just who he is. He was good in heaven, absorbed in making the universe beautiful and ensuring it would grow and develop nicely as it aged, and aside from questioning heaven's plans, he seemed like a model angel. Even when he is explicitly ordered to kill by hell, he doesn't kill people. In contrast, we see Hastur literally eat like 20 telemarketers for no other reason than because he felt like it in S1.

The reason Crowley sees through heaven is because he has been fully rejected by it, and he thus has experience not fitting in as both an angel and a demon. He was thrown out of heaven, the supposed embodiment of goodness as an organization, for asking to preserve the beauty and life of the universe: not just for asking questions, but for asking to do something objectively GOOD. Once he's kicked out of the "good" place for trying to do good and prevent needless destruction, then it's easy for him to realize that heaven is not actually a force for good, it just says it is. He falls for asking questions as an angel, and refusing to go along with doing true evil, which he continues to do in hell. After he spends a lot of time in hell, which is transparently evil, he finds out that they frequently AGREE with heaven on issues like Armageddon and torturing Job, and sees firsthand that the system itself, and the idea of heaven and hell, is rigged and contrived. If heaven and hell were opposites and were each truly good and evil, then they could never agree with each other on anything by design, yet they both want to end the world more than seemingly anything else. He has seen angels act just as violently and vindictively as demons (at levels of malice he, a demon, has never and would never sink to himself) so he also knows that, of course, the whole "angels good, demons bad" thing is bullshit, especially because he himself is GOOD, as Aziraphale and other characters reminded him all the time in S2.

However, Aziraphale attributes the systemic issues in heaven to individual angels, rather than the structure of heaven and hell themselves, because he still believes in the system and is privileged within it compared to Crowley. He sees evils endorsed by heaven as exceptions to the rule rather than signs of a core, systemic problem with heaven itself, and he sees the evils and contradictions of hell as the natural order of things because hell is supposed to be bad. He sees Crowley as an exception to the rule of "demons bad" and sees the archangels as exceptions to the rule of "angels good," rather than realizing that these rules aren't really true to begin with. Unlike Crowley, he has never been explicitly victimized or punished by heaven as an institution, only really bullied and belittled by other angels. He attributes the problems in heaven to said angels being in power, rather than heaven itself, both because he is too afraid to question heaven and potentially face the same consequences as Crowley has, and because he doesn't have the same perspective or insight Crowley does as a demon. Aziraphale probably believes that he has remained an angel by doing good and being good like he assumes heaven wants, rather than recognizing the real reason: he hasn't tried to undermine or question the system of heaven itself, and constantly makes excuses for it. The finale of S1 seemingly assured him that the archangels, who he no longer trusted/believed in at that point, had taken armageddon into their own hands. This made it safe for him to conclude armageddon wasn't a problem with heaven as an institution, it was a problem with the archangels. He thinks heaven isn't fundamentally corrupt, and that it was just a few bad apples responsible for trying to end the world, especially because he didn't have any administrative power then. Heaven does presumably reward good humans in the afterlife, and his job assignments mostly consist of doing good on Earth in general, at least on paper, so in his mind, of course heaven is good. I also think Aziraphale believes that his own goodness isn't just innate to who he is, but is a result/requirement of him being an angel. His perception of himself aligns with his perception of heaven in large part, so he isn't motivated to question either of those things.

However, heaven clearly exists not to spread goodness, but to pursue its own interests, primarily the end of the world and ultimate power after their ideal victory over hell. Both heaven and hell want to start the apocalypse in hopes of gaining a monopoly over the universe after finally beating the other. Notice that the Mettatron talks about his big plans for the second coming with Aziraphale right after he accepts the job, rather than plans for spreading goodness as Aziraphale had assumed would be his job: now that he's in a position of power, heaven has dropped its mask because he is complicit as an authority figure, and they could easily unseat him if he becomes a problem, just like they did to Gabriel. Heaven's goodness is a facade, a means to an end, and ultimately, a PR strategy that serves to brainwash the angels/employees who aren't responsible for calling the shots so that they don't question the power structure. Under this paradigm, if angels question heaven, and heaven is the ultimate good, it must mean that the angel's question comes from some flaw in them rather than a legitimate problem with heaven, which is why none of the angels seem willing to do it.

Aziraphale was lured into believing he was being asked back into the system to finally do the kind of good he wanted to by what he thought was a legitimate sign of kindness within heaven, an apparently purely altruistic gift (the cup of coffee) from the Metatron. He viewed it as a sign that there was still good in heaven after all. Significantly, Aziraphale, unlike Crowley, did not see the videos in Heaven and does not have the full context for Gabriel's amnesia, and is missing some of that crucial evidence of heaven's goal to hasten the apocalypse. The reason there was such an emphasis on the coffee is not that it was drugged or miracled to force him to accept, but because it was a very overt manipulation tactic that builds on the core themes of the show. It was the Metatron pretending to do something out of goodness, just as heaven has done for all this time, even though its actual goal is to destroy the world. The coffee was a deliberate bait and switch by the Metatron, and it is a very potent symbol: a false promise of altruism made to lure good people into working for an evil/corrupt system. I think that Aziraphale, in the credits, is (aside from reeling from his fallout with Crowley) trying his best to rationalize his decision to try to change heaven from the inside, and chalking the Metatron's behavior up as one more bad apple/angel.

We'll see if he finally realizes that the system itself is unfixable in S3.

TLDR: the characterization that led to the finale has been there the whole time. It might be surprising or upsetting, but it is very much not out of character or unprecedented.

#good omens #good omens spoilers #good omens season 2 #good omens s2 #good omens season two #good omens s2 spoilers #good omens s2 ep 6 #part analysis part rant #ineffable partners #ineffable husbands #coffee theory #my post #mine #good omens meta #anticaptialist themes my beloved #ineffable bureaucracy #go s2 spoilers #go s2

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xjulixred45x · 8 months

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This request is a bit detailed but if it's okay can I please ask for a scenario with a yandere Gojo with a kianna reader

Where he finds out that like her sister Yui her blood can make others stronger and she's pissed off about it because she already had to deal with blood sucking vampires and now she has to deal

with Wizards and Sorcerers and that want her blood so they can make themselves stronger

And so in a fit of rage she

becomes a sorcerer to defend herself and uses a sledgehammer with cursed energy to kill cursed spirits that want her blood or sorcerers and Wizards

because in her eyes she's not going to give some random stranger her blood and if they want it they would have to take it from her when she's dead

And Gojo is impressed that she's able to kill a sorcerer and he understands her reasons so

He protects her from sorcerers and wizards and cursed spirits that want her blood or curses and he is aware that she can fight by herself but what if a sorcerer manages to kill her or she gets kidnapped and

So he takes her under his wing as his daughter

And makes it very clear to any sorcerer that he works with that if they lay a finger on her or try to take her blood that he will kill them without hesitation

And I'm sorry if this is a bit too much

Not at all! Actually i already have some kind of serie(? Of Yui Komori in Jujustu Kaisen(Even Gojo is a posible love Interest Lol, Here is) so, if You don't mind i Will use ir for reference.

PLATONIC!YANDERE!Gojo Satoru x Komori! Reader(+background Yandere Gojo x Yui Komori)

Gojo Satoru:Brute End

Warnings: YANDERE, UNHEALTY MINDSET, OBSESIVE BEHAVIOR, menor intimidation, OOC Satoru Gojo.

ok, this will be a bit different, it won't be Headcanons, but detailed writings/scripts, I hope it works.

Let's assume that this is a possible branch of the "Satoru x Yui Route", that is, not only do we have a Yandere Romantic Gojo on Yui, but eventually it will also turn on Kiana as well.

Gojo is not a yandere who turns like this out of the blue or right away, although I would say that he developed the typical tendencies of one more or less at the same time both romantically (Yui) and platonically (Kiana).

For some context, Gojo was the one who saved both Kiana and Yui from the vampires. We already know Gojo and his philosophy that protecting the weak "is exhausting" and for this reason he would be very interested in the sisters from the beginning. In Yui for her mental strength and sweet personality, while with Kianna he was impressed by her great willingness to protect herself (and Yui) even becoming a Sorcerer in record time.

They are two types of taste that complement each other. at first.

To Gojo, Kianna is like a wild cat in a "cute way." He thinks he can easily erase her trust issues like he does with his students, overestimating himself what a surprise. when he realizes NO IT'S NOT THAT EASY, he gets confused, he looks good with kids (and he is in a way, he's as immature as one--) but he realizes pretty quickly what's going on and that he has to do something different if he wants to reach Kianna's heart.

he can (and will) use his position as a teacher to encourage Kianna to spend more time together and teach her powerful techniques (even inviting Yui to watch to show off a bit, two for one!), though at the same time he's like a slight intimidation, since although Gojo would NEVER use those techniques against Kianna or Yui, he definitely shows more than he should. it's scary.

As you said, it's pretty explicit that Gojo is willing to kill not only people who are willing to try to hurt Yui (or god forbid, kidnap her again) but also applies to possible threats to Kianna. I feel that with her the levels of overprotection skyrocket due to a purely cultural issue. with Yui he is much more possessive like a romantic Yandere and with Kianna he is much more overprotective like a platonic Yandere.

is surprisingly paranoid (I haven't seen the second season so sorry if I'm wrong), we could say that the whole situation reminds him a bit of what happened with Riko and, by extension, Geto, the idea that Yui and Kianna, the The new two most important people in his life, whether they are torn from him like that, whether by the big shots or by curses, it doesn't matter, IT EATS HIM FROM THE INSIDE OUT.

does a decent to mediocre job of hiding these thoughts, Yui tries to get him to talk to her thinking "venting it out might help me deal with it in a healthy way" though it only ends up generating a higher level of Satoru's obsession over her.

while Kianna has mixed feelings, on the one hand she is somewhat afraid of Satoru, afraid that he will hurt her as Seiji has done in the past, but on the other hand she is doing something that she never thought she would do, showing herself vulnerable (something like that). , ends up in a certain way empathizing with him and even accepting his company more. again only increasing the level of obsession over her.

it all ends with Kianna officially being a member of the Gojo family, even if she doesn't quite know how they got to this point, she can't even go on as many missions as before (or even GO OUT as much as before). although at least they don't have to worry about the people who were chasing them before, they're already gone, she doesn't know how, but they're gone, and everyone knows better than to question "the strongest". Yui seems happy tho, finally having the "peacefull life" she always dream of.

Even if it's the way she want it.

Satoru is more than pleased with this turn of events, no Sorcerer dares even look at Yui or Kianna the wrong way, Yui is his wife, Kianna is his daughter, he has everything. Absolutely everything at hand, under control, safe and sound.

What more he could ask?

#headcanons #fem reader #jjk #jjk fanfic #tw yandere #tw manipulation #jujustu kaisen #jujustsu kaisen au #jujustu kaisen gojo #gojo satoru #yui x gojo #yandere platonic #yandere #yandere gojo #yuigod #not my oc #oc

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majaurukalo · 4 months

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Let’s talk about looks.

I have rheumatoid arthritis and because of that I have this kind of eternal baby face/moon face usually associated with juvenile arthritis. Plus, I am very short.

I am also 29 years old and don’t show it. People are always eager to remind me when I tell them my age. They assume I am in my early 20s or even a teenager.

Now, someone might think that I am complaining about something nonsense because who in their right mind would complain about looking younger? Our society has internalised that being young or looking young is something good and positive, whereas looking old or - God forbid! - looking older than your actual age is horrible and should be avoided. I don’t have to say how that’s wrong but we’ll leave it to another post.

Tell me what you want but I hate it when people point out to me that I look younger than my age. Not because I think that being a teen or in early 20s is bad or anything, but because my younger appearance is related to my illness and not to genetics or the way nature shaped me. And I am always reminded of that and how people perceive me because of that.

Also, there’s always a difference between how people treat a grown up and a teen/very young person. I always fear that people won’t take me serious, that they will condescend me, think that I am naive and inexperienced because they think “I’m too young”. Not that it is correct to do that even to actual teens and young people, but it’s what some people do. Heck, I also worry that they’d ask me for my ID when I buy alcohol.

Make-up serves me to try to look a bit older.

Now, I know I still belong to the young side, but I am also a full grown adult (I surpassed the 25 threshold, the age when your brain finishes developing), I am a mature and responsible person who had some life experience and is not totally clueless.

So what I wanted to express is: can we please stop making comments about people’s looks? I don’t care if you think that looking young is a compliment. For some it might be, but still, don’t do that because you never know someone else’s story. I don’t care about looking young, I don’t smile when you tell me so.

There are plenty of stuff you can compliment me on. For example, I think I have a dope sense of style.

Thanks.

#cripple punk #cpunk #cripple #disability #crip revolution #crip punk #disability justice #disability pride #disability rights #chronic illness #rheumatoid arthritis #juvenile arthritis #appearance #looking young #compliments that are not compliments

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morgana-ren · 6 months

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utterly lack critical thinking or comprehension and couldn't understand nuance or perspective if you gave them baby's first homework assignment on it

This. This so hard. And its always us that are wrong for blocking them or even god forbid trying to explain. I'm 34, my blog is full of dark content and it's so creepy and worrying to having kids following! I end up going through a blog check every week

I want to say thank you to everyone who has messaged me and pointed out the minors in my follows when I might've missed them. Some of them try to hide, others are unabashed, but all of them get blocked.

The ones that see this and snidely think I have missed them, the damage is on your head. I'm sorry, but that's the reality of it. If you lie to me, or hide yourself, there is quite literally nothing I can do. My responsibility over your life ends there.

Thing is, I remember being that age. I remember being a child and trying to worm my way into adult spaces. All my life, I had been told I was so mature for my age, and that I was an 'old soul.' I was "different" from other children; I could handle it. I understood 'more than they did.' I was smart and clever and everyone around me made a point to impress that on me, and I believed it.

I thought I could handle it, and I didn't learn for many years until after the damage had already been done.

Children are headstrong and stubborn, but they are also foolish and unlearned and have no experience. They haven't been alive long enough to realize this yet, though, and it isn't their fault. That is something that comes with age. They do not understand the depths of damage that they can cause to themselves or others. They do not understand that most people who tell you how 'smart you are' or how you're 'mature' for your age are usually out to manipulate you. They do not know how to engage in these spaces in a safe manner because it simply isn't possible.

They do not understand, and they do not care to. Children are selfish. It's not meant as an insult. Really. It's just part of growing up. It's why they invite themselves into adult spaces despite being told they are not wanted. Their viewpoints are correct and true and they are right and you're just a boomer. You don't get it.

They are still developing. Still learning. Still growing. They literally do not understand because they have no way to. They think that they can handle it because they have no reason to believe that they cannot. They do not have the life experience or wisdom that comes with that experience.

They do not know how to engage these fandoms, which is why you will find them arguing their viewpoints when no one has asked or starting fights over different characters or plotlines they don't like. They don't have the experience to be able to understand nuance or storytelling and a great many other things. It's usually children that are spearheading the 'fiction equals reality' movement because they are, and forgive me for saying this, but too foolish to fully grasp what they are saying and the long reaching implications and consequences of it. They are children in mind and body, no matter how desperately they don't want to be.

They demand to be accepted into adult spaces, and then demand to be protected by the adults in those fandoms who do not want them there (which, in my experience, is a relatively new phenomenon) despite the fact that it is not possible because the source fucking material was not made with you in mind. They engage in smut writing and violence and other themes that their brains cannot fully comprehend beyond an initial understanding of what the content is. They do not understand that they are causing damage with their presence. They are causing damage to themselves and others and the community at large.

They don't care. They have no reason to.

They don't care if they are putting you in danger. They do not care if they are putting themselves in danger. They do not care.

At the end of the day, there is only so much that we can do. We can try and explain it. We can tell them. We can try to appeal to the little bit of empathy they have developed. We can explain things as nicely as possible and hope that they see reason in our words. We can give them our personal experiences and our hardships and plead with them not to tread the same path. But most of the time, they will not listen. They believe they are different and special, and they won't learn for many, many years that they are not.

They cannot grasp this concept, so needless to say, it is entirely pointless to try and explain to them why they might be a bit too naive to engage with certain fiction. Why their ideas on characters and stories might be a bit underdeveloped and ridiculous. They get angry and lash out. They demand respect but do not give it. They demand protection and yet put everyone at risk.

It's not their fault, in a way. They don't understand. They can't. It's why we do what we can to keep them out.

I am genuinely sorry that their parents and the world around them has failed them. I am sorry that they are freely allowed to attempt to engage in things they do not have the ability to understand yet. I am. It's not their fault. They don't understand. How could they?

They can be angry at us all they'd like. They can lash out and throw tantrums, because it's all they know how to do. They can say how wrong we are and that we're old and the other arsenal of insults they like to throw out. They can set out to prove us wrong while ultimately proving our point.

I'm not trying to be an ass, here. I'm really not.

That being said, it's not fair to us either. Like you said, we end up in catfights with kids and we're the bad guys for engaging, we're the bad guys for blocking, we're the bad guys and get dogpiled even though what in the hells would you have us do? We cannot ignore them, clearly. But in their eyes, they're right and we're wrong and that's that. They don't understand. They can't.

We can put warnings and DNIs, we can actively block children that meander into our spaces thoughtlessly, we can try to protect ourselves. Being the bad guy to a thirteen-year-old is a small price to pay for trying to keep them safe, even as they hate it.

But again, there is only so much we can do.

I feel horrible for the creators that are experiencing the deaths of their creations because of this. Influxes of children in their space that make them feel like bad people for simply creating because there is nothing they can do. It's miserable and frustrating and ultimately, you have no choice but to either kill your own creation or be called a horrible person for persisting even though you have no control over who engages. To be called a bad person for engaging in fiction because children don't understand it or the reasons one might do so. I feel horrible for children who are ruining their future psyche and mental state because they don't understand. It's a horrible situation all around.

We do what we can. And we'll keep doing what we can. We will protect them even as they hate it. But there is literally only so much you can do. What do you want an adult creator to do when someone else posts their content on tiktok and attracts hordes of teenagers who are naive? What do you want them to do when children ignore the warnings on AO3? What do you want them to do when children follow them and they lie about their age?

It sucks. It's a genuinely miserable situation all around. All we can hope for is that children, in their own little way, will grow up and stay out of spaces not meant for them. It won't happen, most of the time. But we can dream.

#morgana whinings #I feel you I really do #I fully expect hordes of angry children in my inbox #and just know when you do #you will be IP blocked

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