#Do you think of how brainwashed I was? Does it repulse you like it repulses me?
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👁️ranting in tags you know how it is👁️
#I'm so hungover from talking to you yesterday. and now it's another 'you'#a lesser you. an easier to talk to 'you' than the 'you' I keep talking to#and you're right that it's unfair. that it's easier to be angry at your role in this than hers#but that does not mean my anger is any less justified in its degree#I thought the anger had consumed me until I saw you#God you were so embittered. so passive aggressive that it rendered you unrecognisable#And yet you're still taking the easy road. You're still with her and yet you despise me to the point of deformity#What's it like when you wake up next to her? when you kiss her? Do you think of her doing the same to me?#Do you think of how brainwashed I was? Does it repulse you like it repulses me?#I don't know how you can be so acutely aware since day one of how fucked up her actions were and STILL stay#And your explanation made no fucking sense. I don't think it even makes sense to you#I was too much of a mess to handle afterwards? Sure. You had mentioned wanting to adopt me but sure. I can understand that.#But since the person who MADE ME INTO THAT MESS was all calm and contrite -- you stayed with her?#And so you left me because you could see it was going to eat me alive and didn't want any part of it.#You wash your hands of it#But you were fine being a part of HER life since SHE was an angel.#And I the imperfect victim.#You can forgive her for what she did to me but you can't forgive my sin of reacting to it when I was a teenager#To the point where tou look at me like I disgust you#The funniest part though#Was when you criticised me for saying at the time that she was perfect and good and would never hurt me and I was so mature for my age#so there was no way she could be hurting me and I knew what I was doing#did it feel good for you to rub that in my face? that I had let that happen to me? that I let it slide for three years?#Did it feel righteous and satisfying to look down on me for thinking that way when I wasn't even out of high school?#After everything I had just run away from? Everything YOU KNOW I went through?#I'm just glad I got to see your true face#And see what I don't want to become#txt
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Heya! In which of the boys route do you think Yui was broken/hurt the most?
I always wanted to know which would be the worst scenario (route) for like.. an avarage girl irl . I know most girls would not survive there😅 but just wanted to know your opinion which of those 6 doors you would never open. Or 13 if we count all the characters.
// Since it's an otome game, it goes without saying that there will be a lot of plot armor and that the love interests can't really harm the heroine seriously throughout the route, regardless of what she does, because the plot would go nowhere like that. Most characters are jerks but not really that hard to handle, since they were known for scaring Yui rather than letting her get genuinely hurt. However there were certain Diaboys who were very scary, as it felt like they had no feelings of remorse or empathy.
Laito:
Can’t say that his HDB route is the worst thing Rejet has ever written (because it’s definitely not) but it baffled me how he was so okay with Yui breaking like that to the point where she lost all her will to live and only wanted to be set free from him. I mean, she literally tried to commit and he was just there not even intending to stop her bleeding veins despite being the one who cut them?? It’s true that in the Vampire Ending she doesn’t turn out that bad but after all, this is just because it’s fiction.
Kanato:
He was easier to understand than Laito because at least you were able to know that he had a soft spot for sweets and Teddy. Nevertheless, it was a bit too much how he kept stabbing Yui with the fork and a few chapters later, I’m pretty sure he stabbed Yui with a knife in more places as well. Still, it’s surprising how she turned out worse in his route, considering the fact that in the afterstory she kills innocent people—
Kou:
I love Kou but he was a literal demon in MB. I really hated how he made his fans bully Yui JUST FOR FUN. It wasn’t even any sort of punishment, he merely wanted to make her suffer. Another thing I couldn’t stand was how he kept putting Yui’s life in danger, only to make her prove her love. I understand wanting to test someone but it would have been way better if he actually saved Yui after seeing her do something dangerous. That way it would have proved that he cared for her yet he continued to watch her get hurt for him over and over again, without feeling any empathy. He was sorta redeemed at the end but yeah, most of his route was big yikes, especially since you wouldn’t have expected a cheerful and friendly idol like him to be such a wicked person.
Carla:
I like the Tsukinami family's desire to preserve their lineage but sorry, I must say that I find it repulsive that a 17-year-old would be forced to become pregnant out of the blue with strangers. I understand that Yui was partially to blame for Carla's anger and subsequent dungeon scene but that moment grossed me out sooo bad. She lost her will to live but Carla literally jumped on a depressed girl and was on the verge of rap€ing her, if his Endzeit didn’t kick in. He gets gradually better throughout his route but this scene left a sore taste in my mouth.
Kino:
Look, Kino is a great villain and a lot of fun, but his LE route was trash. Kino killed a child, mistreated Yui, abducted both Yui and Ayato, planned to sell Ayato to the church for execution, manipulated Yui and tortured Ayato. The pain he caused them both was immense and although I appreciated Yui calling him out, it's so sad that she was brainwashed. While it's true that Kino can be quite cute when he wants to, their romance was so rushed and forced because they didn't give us any reason why Yui would fall for him other than manipulation when Ayato, who was seen to care more about her than for himself, was right there. I wish they developed Kino’s feelings better, given that he straight up blackmailed Yui to become his, otherwise Ayato would had been killed, therefore Yui had no other choice but accept the situation. That’s why his CL route is way better.
I only mentioned 5 instead of 6 but that’s mostly because no other character came closer to them in terms of bad scenario. The rest of them felt decent in their routes for a game called Diabolik Lovers, lol.
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Lilith In The First House: Raw Powerful Daemons, The Witches Of Society.
I want to start off with a little introduction to the story of lilith in her human form.
Lilith was a woman who lived naturally, in the forest with her children and amongst animals. She stayed true to her self and her aura would captivate the men of the city, who at the time were religious and created cults around said religion. Lilith was the woman who did not move like anyone else outside of the village , so this made her magnetic. She was being who she was and men seeing her out and about not connecting with the rest of society they would eventually find ways to where they could control lilith. Lilith being who she was she wouldn't back down, so they painted her the devil. They would taunt her, bully her, abuse her, and do nasty things to her until the great 'death' happen. She became EXACTLY who they made her out to me.
The Devil. Daemon. A spirit that reckons chaos in the world.
Now lilith wasn't always like this, she just had to transform because this scares off the men and the women who cant tame her. Who cant have her. Who have a problem with who she is and try to abuse her again and again.
Her full power came from the shadows of her psyche, and it boasted in full glory once she had enough.
So now, we get to Lilith in the first house. These beings literally could walk a mile in her shoes, because the journey that awaits them is a show that they will never forget.
You are a natural problem to society, because society has been programmed and brainwashed to believe that anyone who does anything outside of the religious doctrine is a serpent of the devil and must be tamed. You are the serpent, but you know waaaay more than what people think. Lilith first housers get to play the 'devil' so to speak because they already know the truth on how this world truly works, and none of it had to do with these made up rules.
Society picks at you, because they are not you. They are 'repulsed' by you because they are repulsed by themselves. The innate desire to have freedom is suppressed in the bodies of those who look to be normal in this world and you had no desire to be that way since the day you were born. It is no wonder you came out to be the black sheep amongst family, having to deal with the tough crowds and mean words. Having to constantly figure out if youre friends truly love you, because youre too different for everyone to be around.
Different is good, but in this world they make it seem terrifying.
When you tap into yourself, you have this untamed magnetic aura that is hard to ignore. One thing that I have mentioned with strong lilith placement holders is that, a lot of your personal power comes from the womb/genital area (sacral) and a little bit in the belly (solar). It shows of a little invisible kind of like a plutonian but it is heavily felt. So no matter how you look or how you dress, people notice this in you and because your raw power is near the sacral (womb/genital) area peoples psyche automatically think (sex) because the power is in your sexual energy!
You might of had a deal of people thinking you wanted to have sex, or was being seductive. Even when you weren't, and then when you tell them thats not whats going on you then have them trying to abuse you for making them 'feel things'. It was all in their imagination and now its your fault. Kind of what they did to lilith.
At some point in time, you go through 'the great death' like lilith and become the darkness of your fears, wounds, and trauma only so you can heal them. You heal through chaos/dark magic. And you are a beckon to those who cannot see in the dark, thats who mama lilith was and is. <3
Hope this helps. Will definitely post more on this subject because I love this.
#aries#taurus#leo#gemini#moon#sun#cancer#libra#virgo#sagittarius#scorpio#capricorn#aquarius#pisces#1st house#12th house#2nd house#3rd house#4th house#5th house#6th house#7th house#8th house#9th house#10th house#11th house#astro observations#astrology#lilith#lilith first house
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Lol come on you guys, you can’t actually believe that. Even assuming they mean vocal cords, there is no procedure where that’s even physically possible. When fetuses are developed enough to have vocal cords, they’re far enough along to be wanted pregnancies, and if abortions are performed at that stage it’s because the fetus is dying or dead. Do me a favor: five seconds of Google before you reblog screamingly obvious propaganda, yeah? Got a good laugh out of me though.
The larynx and vocal cords start developing around 10-13 weeks and regardless of whenever you consider them "wanted pregnancies" doesn't make her comment any less disgusting.
She tried to walk it back and pretend she'd been talking about the umbilical cord but if you think about it for two seconds that doesn't make any sense. Why would she say she "cuts the cord first, if they're even far enough along to have a larynx"? The umbilical cord starts forming around 4 weeks and has nothing whatsoever to do with the larynx or the baby's ability to scream so she is obviously lying about what she meant. I don't know what other cord she could be referencing in regards to why the baby would be unable to scream.
Leah Torres could very well have performed late term abortions, which are not performed because the baby is dying or dead. If the baby is dead it's not an abortion, anyway. Take your own advice and do some research on this issue because you are just repeating pro-choice talking points that have been consistently debunked. Just because you don't know things doesn't mean the truth is propaganda.
And even if Torres was lying about cutting cords and doesn't actually do that, I'm surprised you don't find the sentiment she is expressing completely repulsive (not really though I guess because it's becoming more and more common for you pro-aborts to take delight in the description of how babies are murdered or laugh at people making lighthearted comments about cutting their vocal cords so they can't scream before they're violently killed). Like oh the abortionist who actually does kill babies made a comment about how she doesn't hear them scream because she "cuts the cord first" so they don't even have a chance but you don't think it's possible for that to happen so it's just a silly comment that we can all laugh about hahahahahahahaha. I know you have to have to be pretty shitty to not care about the violent murder of innocent people but holy fuck to take delight in this kind of thing just shows what an absolute morally bankrupt and downright despicable (and not to mention completely ignorant) person you have to be support this.
I'm confident you've never actually studied this issue a day in your life and you're just repeating what you've heard other pro-choicers say and headlines you've seen so you're not smart enough to fool anyone who knows even a little bit about this topic because you're the one who is actually brainwashed by propaganda. Which is why you aren't able to present a single fact in support of what you're saying.
Be better.
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Hmm.... Just saw someone say that jcs "homophobia" has nothing to do with the society or the time period he was born in and it still means he's bad and I just e-e
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Society and time period kinda does effect how one might think of other groups tho. They've been raised and brainwashed to think that way, so much so that being homophobic is the norm whilst... Unfortunately... Being gay was deemed "evil", "bizarre""morally incorrect...."
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This isn't me condoning homophobes BTW. Obviously it's bad and you are valid to feel upset by his actions. But at the same time you got to appreciate the social context here... Him being homophobic in such a setting doesn't entirely make him a bad person because that was just how he was taught to be and was the norm.
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Jc is described as a person who follows social norms. Had he been born today where homophobia is generally frowned upon, I wonder if he will be more approving of homosexuality then? >.> Being accepting of homosexuality (depending on your society of course. It's still dangerous for many gay people around the world to be out and proud) is now the soical norm. Makes me think will he be much more accepting had the social circumstances been different or if this was a modern setting?
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Furthermore, his "homophobia" wasn't aggressive or anything and could have been read as him being repulsed by PDAs too as I've seen others pointed out *shrug*
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For someone from ancient china, I'd say he was a lot more tolerant than others in the book seeing as homosexuals back then were often executed, persecuted, kicked out as we seen with mxy etc. Plus, he let wwx go in the end to be with lwj. He never brought up their relationship again or showed physical disgust depsite knowing full well what they're going to be getting up to XD. Therefore, i feel with time and better education/understanding, someone like jc can easily grow to be more tolerant. It's not like he was going around, seeking out gay people and murdering them. Idk.... Just kinda think it's another case of people reading deeply into things as other members have mentioned in this tag before.....?
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Would also like to point out that there are other characters in the book who have made homophobic comments and more frequently than jc too.... Wwx himself used a homophobic slur in the beginning before realising his own gay awakening because again that was the normal thing to doo.... Kinda interesting that antis never talk about those points but eh.... It's just a book. It doesn't need to be read that deep. We're not writing essays on it.
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Hello I love your AU!
Could you please tell us more about Elfilis and Star Dream as well?
Well, for one thing, they're a lot harder to draw. ^^; So I will gladly accept this opportunity to talk about them now and finish my sketches later~
For another thing, I will admit that they were kind of afterthoughts for GONE (this image basically tells all the story I wanted to tell). It was hard for me to even imagine a space for them to be characters...until I tried thinking of the AU as a more casual slice-of-life thing, believe it or not. ^^;
It kinda makes sense though; for multiverse-scale rulers to take something like this in stride, to be totally comfortable taking breaks to chat and get to know each other in between murder attempts. ^^ To be honest, it's almost creepier this way...for someone to ask how you've been before ripping your head off your neck...really adds to the 'inhuman' vibe of this AU in particular.
Fecto Elfilis: Probably the most sympathetic of the three, despite also being the most brutal (in a way, I feel a capacity for kindness and a capacity for cruelty are two sides of the same coin).
They kinda understand what the Master Crown is going through, since they also have a nagging 'weakness' living inside of them at all times, in the form of Elfilin. ^^ You'll see what that looks like later. ;)
Of course, they have the advantage of knowing with certainty that Elfilin is real, most likely permanent, and has feelings they can hurt (their basic dynamic is that Elfilin begs them not to do something bad, and F/E does something 10x worse just to spite him). Unfortunately, this comes with the disadvantage of having to fight with him all the time, and the constant stress and aggravation that results. ^^; Like, imagine you had a sort of sentient autoimmune disease that flared up AND psychically argued with you every time you wanted to do something fun...it's a special kind of hell, tbh, and I like to think that Elfilin knows that~.
Anyway, despite all of that, F/E is usually pretty cool and self-confident, personality-wise. They have zero respect for either of their opponents, and they get a cathartic kick out of watching the Crown have a mental breakdown and mocking it for it...even though they secretly feel the same way very often, and very deep down.
Star Dream: It thinks of itself as a benevolent god, the savior of the universe...and whether or not that idea is a half-truth or a complete delusion honestly depends on your perspective.
They ARE the only one of the three who's actually concerned with building civilizations instead of destroying them (F/E) or treating them like toys (MC). They also have the intrinsic ability to read people's dreams and grant their wishes, an ability they use to keep their colossal hivemind happy.
But is this a 'real' happiness, or a sort of 'brainwashed' happiness? Does it really free people's souls from their imperfect flesh-prisons, or does it simply remake them into a sanitized ideal...?
I think it would be interesting if it offered to mechanize the Master Crown in order to relieve its suffering (which would totally count as proving dominance)...even though it's kind of its fault that MC started losing its mind in the first place. ^^;;; The 'itch' starts when it has a small but unexpected reaction to seeing Susie's face, and becomes exponentially worse when SD admits that the form it's in is something it saw in the MC's dreams. But y'know, what better way to convince MC to have its mind digitized and have the 'weaknesses' deleted than to show it exactly what it's afraid of? ^^
In case it's not obvious, Star Dream has a very 'pleasant' and calm personality-- by now, it's learned that it's faster and easier to convert people with """"kindness""" than threats of annihilation. Of course, it doesn't like being told 'no' (you could argue that it doesn't really see any viewpoint other than its own as valid) and really doesn't like entities that can challenge it, especially "repulsive" flesh-creatures like Fecto Elfilis. ^^ If there's any potential for dark comedy in this AU, it's in the dynamic between those two~
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Written in Telegram 10/10/2023
XX
Marla. This who I most resonate with at this point on my journey. Thanks Tyler.
If I made this statement to the entirety of random people who I've let into my life since social media's INCEPTION, what would they each think?
Eye MUSE.
Independently. In assessment. About HOW I ACTUALLY WAS.
Ya know, MY MENTAL WELL BEING.
Those who actually know who Marla is, and depending on their INNERstanding of Fight Club's Higher Esoteric layers, each would have their own take away as to whether I was mentally stable at this point.
I get that. I truly do.
STILL, do not give one 🕊️ flying fuck.
How
Does
That
Make
You
FEEL
????
That eye BEE the perceived lunatic to any who encounter me Now. I'm different. Darker.
Where did The Cosmic Mama go?!?!
👽
Will she ever return? Will this foul creature, this mad Kraken Beast goes awayyyy??
I was (still am beyond the violet rage) nicer.
What a wonderful place to be withIN my own INNER PEACE & OUTER EXISTENCE.
In ease. Not dis eased.
Two 🐝 BEE *that* aligned with Go(o)d and what is RITE for me feels incredible.
No other is supposed to get MY sacred journey with Creati9n. That is Mine, dummies. Not your biz at all, ya sea? I swim places y'all won't go cause ya won't go through the warren 🐰 of collective * personal Shadow.
That happens First. It takes a big ass mirror 🪞 to show you the realITy of the LI(f)E you live.
Wake the fuck up, Alice. 🧝
I WILL continue to create chaos and havoc in the lives of others around me as I continue to unravel the collective conditioning and its clutching tendrils, through my own shadow reckoning. I had to face the stuff I didn't wanna see, and face the consequences. The Wyrk is intense.
As eye do my deeper Wyrk, I sea and counter the spell. Brainwash mysELF back to
Divine 💙 Blue 🔵 Print
And HERe I sit, watching as the system I work my ass.off.to.get.free.from....THEY continue to co-sign and comply with. CONsent to. 🙃
I can't even pretend it isn't agonizing every damn day.
Sew.
I ain't looking to get back into your filthy beast system. I'll stay feral and repulsive. Deeply aligned with Go(o)Dness and the Mother. SHE provides.
Green paper 💵 in a materialistic world can make things like having a phone to write my musings into ...easier. So exchanging some quartz I've foraged for a little cash 💰 connects me. To y'all. Otherwise. Oh. I'd be SO Go(o)d with NO phone at this point. For a while.
But even that ain't necessary. Folks barter more and more.
🕊️ I live free. Wanna be freer every day. Don't care if you don't agree with HOW.
8 years nomadic worn, has only brought forth MORE of my own inner Morrigan. She's repulsed by stupid humanity wanting to remains tuck under the spells of evil magicians. Imprisoned.
My innocent, pure hearted self seas the highest potential always. The untainted virgin.
My holy mother who LOVES AND HOLDS THEM ALL SEW FUCKING MUCH EVERY MOMENT, WYRKING ONLY FOR A WYRLD WHERE THEY WILL BE TEULY FREE....weeps. As they all wish I'd be someone easier to manage and understand again. Miss and love y'all. 👁️
My whore self tho? Nah. Fuck all y'all bitches.
I've been it, seen it, survived it. Been fucked deep in this life. I'm hardened. And soft. Both.
Eden is real. I'm IN it. Living it. It's for you too.
Get off your asses and fight for YOURS.
THAT'S WHY THE HOLY TROUBLE MAKERS ARE HERE. What did you think angelics looked like, really? FFS. You're living in a self.imposed HELL PIT!
You're the fucking change. Where is your flaming, ragey s/word of righteous indignation being directed? Warrior?
Beating up your nearest and dearest? As you feel the undertow of the world around you that you're not doing a damn thing to change?
I PUSH ...FOR YOU To find the places where Programming and indoctrination ALSO kept me bound within a domed, limited conscious awareness.
You magnetized me to YOU. To sea where you're stuck. 🪞 That's why it seems I piss you off by simply stating a damn different opinion than your collective agreement to a program.
But it ain't just me. Others like me are everywhere. We made us. Summoned the Olde Ones who now gotta bring Holy Fyr and be means. Sew many of us are HERe now. And we pissed. You. Gotta. Become. The. Hero.
It ✨ STARts at bEarth.
Wyrd. Doctrine. BeLIEf.
Filth. Designed to make us feel LESS.
We are EQUAL IN OUR DIVINITY.
I've become someone deplorable to them, you. All.
I won't go back to being less than I am now.
Until all those who are left behind and fallen through the cracks are raised and loved. We must beCome MORE Loving, not less.
This is who I'm to be now.
For MY Soul lesson plan.
I don't know yours! I'm HERe to bring down the Roman empire. Back to complete freedom for all. Nothing less is acceptable.
Pick a team? Fuck y'all.
Trump. Q. Kennedy. Musk. Love em all, or their versions, they're amazing portals to UNRAVEL PROGRAMMING and learn INCREDIBLE discernment skills. Thank you! But I don't know nor care to know any of these MF'ers. Personally.
Nah. They're illusion. Masked persona. And thinking a materialistic based name or lineage means a thing in the spirit realm is folly. Eye dew trust fEELs tho. Slimy places tell me. Or they do GNO(t). I allow for it all to be true, while beLIEving nothing to be true out any other's mouth. I do me. I trust me.
I love who I am. This is who I reMain.
I'll come into your world. I'll visit.
But plz know, due to YOUR unresolved shadow as to why YOU CONSCIOUSLY CHOOSE TO STAY IN A BEAST SYSTEM...
and the fact YOU had to ask someone to limit their words to what makes you feel comfortable....well...that's okay. 👍
I get that. You can ask.
I'll even do it, tone it down, while I'm there. Around you.
Briefly.
🔥 Til my Soul wails 🐳 from having to hold back my own contribution, not to convince, but xpress. That's all. One more equally valid, and ALSO DIVINE perspective to consider. If you feel it's *too much* for another to
...speak ...their...truth...
that's not mine, Jack. Allllll yours. I don't do that.
Everyone's perspective is sought and welcomed for equal consideration. I'm not that easily influenced by the words of others. Words and fiery discussion do not frighten me. I feast with the deplorables. And THAT IS how I know I'm okay. On my own right side, what's rite for me.
ANYONE is welcome at my table. 💞
☀️ I LOVE THAT FUCKING BIG.
Any
Mother
Fucking
One
Bring it.
We roll.
I'm Go(o)d.
I left the matrixed world with intention, and the vagabonds, criminals, and junkies...the social pariahs and outcasts, have HELD ME as I've roamed ♾️ 8 ♾️ years without one physical hOMe. Changed.
Some same broken. I say Ree bEarthed 💀
The FREE kin who I seek counsel (save a few Northern Warriors from the Tundra) and spend the majority of the time ARE THOSE FOLKS SNEER AT.
I don't tell others what they can or cannot say. Say it.
It's welcome.
If YOU tell me what I can't say, be sure I'll be saying it LOUDER and with an ever more clear and purified channel ELSEWHERE outside your presence.
I built 17 🌪️ Starr Gates in the past few weeks since I said fuck FB and Insta.
Been reclusing. Looking for a place to write. To channel. To let Wyrd flow.
Which brings me to the point of the wind 🌬️ blowing in 🌿 ☀️ 🍀 and through me HERe.
The Wyz danced with the pups earlier, delighting in AI picking the EXACT songs for his spiritual lesson of the moment.
We shared a bowl of resin, we live moment to moment. He shares his disability check with me when I move in deep channel. I'm shit for the Earth plane(t) when I fly with the Holy Ghost. SHE and eye do a delicious dance as One. ⭕
💰 is tight. But a Wyz will scratch up some celebratory Go(o)ds. We smoke MOTHER'S Medicine when we can. Tobacco to Canna to Sassafras. 🌿
♾️8♾️
year
Anniversary
Of
ShanZa
Merlin and Morgana
Zues and Hera
Hades and Persephone / Hecate
Harry and Hermione
Stevie and Lindsey
Zena and Hercules
We dew different WYRK on different planes.
I told him, apparently Elvis lives in Benton Arkansas and is a preacher. We live in OZ, on the ARK too. Neighbors with Elvis!
Also told him I played the link 🔗 of this ELVIS GUY doing said sermon, and my takeaway?
I'd listen to him, this WYZARD, the One Rite HERe IN OZ 🌪️~ that I GNO and fEEL into, speak HIS DraGon FyR s/Word 🗡️ when that RIGHTEOUSNESS OF GOD moves through him....any.fuckin.day.
Over Elvis.
Wut. 😂
Truth!! He MUves my Fyr.
The system has been no friend of his. His truth and Fyr and pure. When he stomps his 🦶 it is felt deep in the Soul. The wrongdoings.
I've loved him as MUSE and best friend for ♾️8♾️ years.
He is beyond any word. He just is. Wyzard is too miniscule a description for his medicine. Mirror. Unwavering in rite natural law. Free Will for all. 💞
10/10/2105 I sent 📤 him a random message on FB.
I was 10 months in to giving everything I owned away to live nomadically. Done with matrix.
Now, we hang about Oz.
He moves nomadically as well.
We Nest HERe n tHERe. Mama provides.
And this. I'm doing all this online creation stuff.
17 new lands I've visited.
I BEE Creatrix.
Building. More.
When I build, Go(o)d guides and I just flow.
I'm doing a thing. A Lone. 🐺 A-wa/ereWolf 🐺
Still Cosmic Mama 💞 and more. Not sorry.
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Jukebox reviews part 25! For context, see my post “A Project” under this same tag. If you want to see a full list of his EMCSA stories, they can be found here, sorted alphabetically.And if you want to see some of his drabbles, check out his blog at @jukeboxemcsa
Turn the Page
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1/4/2014 mc ff
Oh, this one is ... *chef's kiss.* It's WONDERFUL. The idea of photography capturing a moment so well... of losing yourself in a photo like that... and then when Olivia steps in it's just perfect timing. I have to wonder how long she was there, watching, picking her moment. I can't do this story justice in words, just ... go read it. Seriously. It's *good.* (Ok, ok, maybe I'm slightly biased by having some lovely photos from a play session with a partner that I treasure, but still.) 10/10 spirals
Back and Forth (Jukebox)
date uploaded date updated Tags
5/30/2015 mc mf fd
Yeah, I'm just not grooving with stories that straight up ignore someone trying to say no tonight. This is fine if you like a hypnotist pushing past attempts to say no, but I just can't with it right now. *shrug*
Diamonds Are a Girl’s Best Friend
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6/6/2015 mc mf ff fd
Whelp, now we see what a malfunctioning Girl(tm) can do. It's a good thing that the Girls(tm) have a solid QC team that handles in-the-field problems. I do hope Adele enjoys having her own Girl(tm), since it sure seems like she's destined to have one now. It's a good view into the world of the Girls(tm), and I really enjoyed it! 9/10 spirals
Fadin’ In and Fadin’ Out
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6/13/2015 mc mf md
I don't like drugs as a method of control, personally, so this one is a pretty strong miss for me - between the drugs and the very obvious non-con, it just isn't my taste. But if you like drugs as a method of control, you might like this one pretty well. The change in how she thinks because of the drug and the brainwashing is well done, as far as I care, too. 5/10 spirals
Everybody Wants To Rule the World
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6/20/2015 mc mf ff md fd cb
Oh, this one is just FUN, and silly, and wonderful. Also, the title reminds me of a quip from a Thunderbolts comic: "Rule the world? Who wants to do that much WORK?!" (or something to that effect, anyway.) Seeing the clash of personalities and styles on display here, how they never think to *coordinate,* is just... it FEELS like a comic book in the best of ways. Which I suppose is the goal, given the setting. And seeing inside Adventure Girl's head here? It's lovely. 9/10 spirals
Naturally
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6/27/2015 mc mf md
Hey, now, Aaron, that's hardly proper care of an antique magnifying glass! That aside, this is a clever story; I wish we knew *how* he came to have this power over her; is it a spell? A powerful hypnotic trigger? something else? Clearly it's attached to the word "Naturally," that much is obvious, but what's the mechanism!? Inquiring minds want to know! This is a well done story, if it leaves me asking questions, and the control flows smoothly. 8/10 spirals.
One Thing Leads to Another
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7/4/2015 mc ff
That's either extremely well targeted, or Carol gets lucky every time she tries that trick. Because it'd only take one sex-repulsed ace gal to get Carol in trouble for sexual harassment. That said, the control in this one is so smooth I got halfway through before realizing there *was* any - and that takes doing when I'm reading a story I know has mind control in it! I'm not sure I entirely *like* this story, but it's got good heat. I just ... don't enjoy how Carol steamrolls Sophie the way she does. 7/10 spirals
Back Where You Belong
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7/11/2015 mc ff
Ooooh, this is fun, the way the pressure to remember something she believes she couldn't have remembered leads to the cognitive dissonance that pushes her into trance.... very cleverly done! Babbling out mantras, mindlessly reinforcing her programming... all top notch. I don't have a ton to say about this one other than I enjoyed it, it was Very Good. 9/10 spirals
Smoke From an Old Flame
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7/18/2015 mc ff
... this one is NOT FAIR for many, MANY reasons. Like the (extended) sex scene is fine, lots of hypnosis mixed in making it fine for me, but me being me that isn't the highlight of this story. No, no, the highlight is just how we're introduced to Dawn, to her sheer presence and charisma and control. She's a force of nature to Amy, that's so clear, and ... well. Jukebox, that introduction made me think *immediately* of a redheaded lass I love so very much, so thank you for that. Even if that strong association made me do a double-take at the use of "Mistress Dawn" - my brain kept editing it to "Miss Dawn" for *reasons*. And the moment going to the parking ramp, with the "Follow."? ;lkhadsghkl;adsgfhkl;adsghkl;agdshkl;gadshkladsgfhkl;adsghkl;adsghkl; That's A MOMENT.
But this story is so good, and it feels like it could be real, in all the little ways.I hope that this is a start of them either having a solid long-distance relationship, or one of them moving to live with the other, because gosh they make such a sweet couple. And clearly they have all the chemistry in the world 10/10 spirals
The Quiet Type
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8/1/2015 mc ff
I wish we knew what Emily was saying at any point, here. I get why we don't; it is, after all, a story from a third-person limited narrative PoV, so we only get to know what Brandy knows, but like... not seeing how the control is flexed does take some of the heat away for me. But it's still a really good view inside Brandy's head as she rationalizes her behaviour to Emily's prompting. And the end result feels nicely inevitable for Brandy. 7/10 spirals
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Hey! Can you give your opinion on Sam and Raiden’s friendship and lack thereof
whoever you are i love you for this. yes i can. a lot of this is copied directly from an earlier post i made but <3
their first meeting is sam helping murder a man raiden truly respects and considers a friend. and then maiming him. including destroying one of the only organic parts he has left. all the while mocking him and then almost killing him, too.
and their second meeting doesn’t go any better. sam immediately and cheerfully starts messing with raiden’s mind, employing brutal psychological warfare to the point that raiden almost lets himself get killed because he’s too damn nice for his own good and can barely bring himself to fight back against the people trying to kill him.
this is, of course, all while sam is working for desperado, a company that is kidnapping children off the streets and turning them into brainwashed cyborg soldiers, aka some of the most horrifying things raiden’s been put through in his life at the same time. and then he has the nerve to try and take the moral high ground.
and then there’s the third meeting! in which they once again try to kill each other. the fact that sam is calling raiden a pretty boy and saying to 'show [him] a good time’ during this fight does not mean anything. he’s not flirting with him, he’s mocking him. his tendency to do that is literally one of his most blatant character traits. it’s creepy. and even if he was flirting, that’s not nearly enough to build anything off of. who looks at a guy maiming someone and then psychologically tormenting him by bringing up his worst traumas and deepest fears all while cheerfully working for an organization doing unspeakable things to children and a man trying to start another war on terror and says ‘okay but they should kiss’? who does that?
the fact that he decides to help raiden at the end also doesn’t mean anything. unless you want to look at his dlc and decide that since he decided to help armstrong that means you ship THEM.
that’s actually another of the reasons it would never work. raiden is an idealist. he has very strong beliefs about right and wrong. and sam… doesn’t. his little 'we’ve heard enough speeches about ideals’ is just something he says to disguise the fact that he doesn’t have any. he flip-flops over committing atrocities like he’s trying to decide what to have for breakfast. meanwhile raiden would have sooner let armstrong kill him than help with his plans. they’re completely incompatible. raiden might have had some respect for sam’s fighting skills, but he’d never respect him as a person. because sam goes against everything he is.
i mean even among criminals those who hurt children are considered some of the lowest of the low. for a strong idealist like raiden? sam and his pixy stix of a moral backbone would be utterly repulsive. they couldn't be friends, they couldn't be lovers, they couldn't even be rivals because that implies some sense of competition. raiden has no feelings of competitiveness towards sam, he didn't try to hunt him down, he literally only engaged with sam when sam actively got in his way. sam isn't anything special to him--just another piece of shit helping ruin childrens' lives and destabilize international relations. no more or less important than anyone else who gets in his way in his quest to stop desperado and armstrong.
so honestly, even if sam did mean any of his little comments, it wouldn't matter. it wouldn't matter, because to raiden, he's just another selfish, heartless bastard who doesn't care how many innocent people suffer as long as he gets what he wants. and to think he even tries to take the moral high ground! there's absolutely nothing worth looking at in their 'relationship' because they don't have one.
so yeah. suffice it to say, there's nothing there, and people who act like there is should make sure they stretch before they pull a muscle reaching that hard.
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I hate you. It's been how long now? Seven? Eight months? Good. This time without you has been the best I've ever had in such a long time. I truly do hate you. I know I do. I can tell. And yet for some reason, you've been on my mind so much for the past month. I want to know how you've been. I want to know what's been going on. I want to know if you're miserable or not. I so badly want to hear your life sucks and that you miss me terribly as I was the only person in your life who didn't treat you like trash. Despite the fact, you decided I was some sort of plaything for you to abuse and control however you felt. And I hate that too. I don't want to waste any more of my time and life on you. I want to forget about you. I want you to be a thing in the past for me to vaguely remember. I don't even want to remember your fucking name. Honestly, I think I need proper closure. I've been thinking about messaging you. Just so I can finally get that proper goodbye. That moment where I call you on your shit and you can't brainwash me some more into being okay with it. Cause I don't love you anymore. I don't care if you die. You have nothing to coax me into submitting to your poison. However, I won't do that. Because I still do hate you. I don't want to see your face. I don't want to unblock you. I still think it's so funny. You really did call it when we first met. That you'd push me away, no matter how much I want us to stay friends you'd manage to repel me. And you were right. You managed to repulse a person you literally had in the palm of your hand, bending over backward for you and wasting their own life just to better yours. So what the fuck does that say about you as a person?
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The Traitor Baru Cormorant review response
I just read a very thoughtful review (beware, spoilers in link) of The Traitor Baru Cormorant by Arkady Martine, the author of A Memory Called Empire (another of my favorite book (series) i’ve read recently). Though it was from back in 2015 when the book released, and I’m sure many of the points she makes in it have changed since then, I found it interesting simply because while it was a very positive review, she made some key criticisms that I thought were largely missing the point of the book, Baru’s character, and how the empire of the Masquerade operates.
The two things here were twofold - that Baru’s self awareness of her own gayness and her noticing other gay people was not adequately shown during the first part of the book before Tain Hu’s introduction, and that the Masquerade empire itself is not believable as seductive because of how visibly monstrous it is.
For the first, she does float a counterpoint that Baru is repressing her sapphic desires everywhere but inside her own head, but I actually think this counterpoint doesn’t go far enough, and explains you the reader not having as much awareness of her own sexuality before then as well. In my opinion (and I think this is well supported by both the text itself and interviews and writing by Seth Dickinson about the text on their website), Baru is so repressed as to be a partially unreliable narrator, and is hiding her sexuality from even herself (and therefore, you as the reader) due to the fear of reprisal that has been conditioned into her by Cairdine Farrier and Incrastic dogma.
The second is more complicated, and while I do agree in some regards and see where she is coming from in that the Masquerade’s methods and impacts are too repulsive to be effective at seduction, I think this is largely missing the point of how the Masquerade operates. From my reading, the Masquerade - Falcrest, never seemed to need to be seductive - just like the American empire that it is heavily based on. The methods of the U.S. and the Masquerade are never appealing to who they are colonizing - it is simply being “unstoppable” by virtue of using plague warfare and trade, backed up by military technological dominance, to create a situation where indigenous populations are forced into a system of financial dominance and reliance.
It’s a logical (and terrifying) next step to indoctrinate a younger generation into a belief system tied to state power (Incrasticism, Christianity) and incorporate and brainwash the rest of the population into that panopticon - unavoidable by ubiquity. “Seduction” is unnecessary here - people have no choice but to engage in a society that is actively harming them.
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My thoughts on Getou’s ideology
Spoiler alert
So I just finished rereading jjk and thought it would be cool to share my thoughts on the motives behind Getou’s actions which really intrigued me because it gave so much more insight into his actions—like in the cursed child arc when he called Maki a monkey, mentioned he wanted to kill all non-shamans etc. and it showed his history with Gojou, plus how that subsequently affected the Gojou we know in the present.
Ok. Can I begin with where it all (in my opinion) began to really go wrong? Not really a surprise here, but I would say it’s the mission from Tengen-sama with Amanai. Before this shitshow, we see Gojou being his usual self, bantering with his soon-to-be-genocidal BFF—and we also are introduced to what Getou’s motivations are for becoming a Jujutsu Sorcerer/shaman. To protect the weak. He has the power to do so, and therefore a responsibility to do it. An obligation, so to speak. This is all before the Amanai mission, mind you; that’s why I say the real problem sprouted after that, and although arguably the problems were already present in the first place, Getou only really became aware of them afterwards—and therein lies the issue.
So this is Getou’s ideology while he was, to put it a bit harshly, still ‘ignorant’—aware of the nastiness in the world, but not really experiencing them first-hand... yet. His original ideology, one that ended up with Gojou calling him out for being ‘righteous’. Society should protect the weak, and keep the strong in check. That’s his set of values, principles, what he thinks should be done. But the next mission? The next mission challenges that.
We see Getou watch Amanai die right in front of him. Amanai, who if you remember, he and Gojou were willing to go against Tengen-sama and hence the other Jujutsu Sorcerers in order to protect the life of—or at least before she dieded from Papa Fushigoro’s attack lmao *cries*.
Getou is kind. He cares. He cares, and that’s why it’s just so much worse.
And the real underlying cause for her death, the religious cult group. Who, might I add, are pretty much brainwashed, unreasonable, irratiONAL-
They freakin clapped and cheered and everything, guys. Like, ‘yay she’s dead we did it’. In front of the very two people that she was important (somewhat important for Gojou, maybe) to, mocking them for their failures. It disgusted and annoyed me to an extent, their blindness, and if it did for me (maybe you, too?) you can only imagine the impact it must’ve had on the strongest duo. The impact it had on Getou, seeing the non-shamans he was protecting do such a despicable (in his eyes) thing.
Yet, at that point of time, he tells Gojou there’s no meaning in killing them. An important distinction that, over time and after a slow build-up, erodes away into nothing thanks to a certain someone *hissssss*.
And so time passes. Gojou becomes stronger as he grows; naturally, the two begin to drift. Getou is left alone more and more—alone with his thoughts, his musings, his ever-growing unsureness. This unsureness stems from, as he mentions later on, the worth of the non-shamans that has become shaky to him. The sacrifices he makes, the effort he puts in—of exorcising and ingesting relentlessly, something so repulsive that he clearly doesn’t enjoy doing but does so for the sake of these non-shamans—and the sacrifices of the shamans that he sees as his friends, comrades, family. Who does he do it for? Who do they do it for? Do they do it for the same group of people that were overjoyed to see someone he cared about dead, who were the cause for that death?
These panels gave me chills. It’s so well done; you can really feel all the gradual hopelessness, loneliness, desperation, introspection, doubt... Also, a point I brought up near the beginning, Getou says he already knew about that ugliness—but perhaps this is the first time it’s really been so personal to him, and that’s why it hit all that harder, as though everything he knew was coming into question. And he told himself, don’t falter. But as you can see from the next page...
He was definitely, to put it lightly, already ‘faltering’.
“F*cking Monkeys...” Ha, what an iconic quote. Maybe I’ll use that the next time someone cuts in front of me in the queue. Jokingly, of course.
So there he was teetering between the two edges. If Gojou, Shouko, his sensei or whoever, really, had been aware, maybe he could have helped him back to the ‘right’ track. But NOOOOOOOOOOOOO here comes this (unfairly attractive) shady ass woman instead to give him that nudge. Wait, no, not nudge. She gave a freakin shove.
Thus it begins. The base for Getou’s new ideology. The words, her reasoning, the fact that she supported Getou’s half-throwaway comment about killing all non-shamans. God, she’s so manipulative. GETOU DON’T FALL FOR IT, I was screaming mentally the whole time. More specifically, a certain phrase was playing on repeat in my brain.
Begone, thot.
But I guess, in the end, it’s not about whether he fell for it or not. Once she put it out there, it could never have gone back.
She plants that idea in his head and it wiggles its way into his consciousness. It blooms into a black flower with every passing day, every passing mission, Haibara’s death, every other shaman’s death, every single thought and question about the worth of non-shamans—which, BTW, according to Tsukumo, would be all solved if he just killed them. Thing is, she’s not exactly wrong, and Getou knows that.
So remember how I talked about how Getou shut down Gojou’s question of whether to kill on the basis of there being no meaning in killing the religious group/non-shamans earlier on? Yeah. This bish has just given him one on a damn silver platter. She has given him a meaning.
And if I can add one thing, it would be that I think that Getou feels things very deeply; his experiences and thoughts affect him like ripples in the sea, slowly slowly slowly building up into a tsunami.
He acts based on a moral compass, and that moral compass is almost absolute to him. For example, his earlier ideology of the strong protecting the weak—he was willing to go through so much because of that ideology, was willing to fight and ingest something that tasted like ‘cloth used to wipe vomit’ and even risk his life without hesitation because of that set of values. And later on when that comes into question, he begins to question his ‘true’ feelings, and thinks things through very deeply. Because it’s important to him. It defines his actions. And once his ideology shifts?
He kills non-shamans without, as far as I know, even an ounce of remorse. Because, like Gojou said, Getou is ‘righteous’.
And at this point, it may seem like he’s still on the fence, but effectively what Tsukumo has done is tell Getou more about his other option and even encouraged him. Tsk. Keep in mind he has been more or less alone up till now, left without any guidance on this topic whatsoever from the people he’s close to; the only guidance has been this shady ass, special-grade Jujutsu Sorcerer, and THIS IS WHAT SHE TELLS HIM. ARGH.
AAAAAANNNNNDDDDD BOOM. We have reached the final, breaking point, where all the tiny cracks and fractures expand to explode in an epically bloody massacre.
Ngl, this whole thing made me pissed to the point where the empty soda can in my hand got crushed to a pulp. I must admit, it was really satisfying when he killed them.
But then I realised he killed the whole village, and his parents, which further cements the idea that his new moral compass—is genocide. No joke. DUN DUN DUNNNNNNNN.
Anyway, when Getou saw the two poor kids, scared and bloody and might I add shamans, so called ‘one of his kind’, locked up in a cage because of the non-shamans’ illogical, stubborn, and unreasonable assumptions? He made his decision at last.
...this whole chapter, these last few chapters even, were so well-done I reread it like a dozen times.
Alright, now that that’s over and done with, can I discuss his ideology itself? From what I’ve seen/heard/read from around, people generally call out two glaring issues—unrealistic-ness (is that a word? sorry lmao) and the generalisation of the non-shamans. Much to my surprise (and happiness, even) they addressed the former, and it seems like Getou has given it some thought. Yay.
Again, these panels are pure gold.
“That’s pretty arrogant.”
“What?”
“It’s possible for you, right? Satoru.
If it’s possible for you... can you really go around telling people that ‘it’s impossible’?”
Chills, literal chills *insert B99 meme here*. Because I was like—oh snap. I didn’t even consider that. Didn’t consider... what if it were Gojou Satoru? Because DAMN the whole thing just became a whole lot more realistic, especially after you consider Gojou and his skills later on in the future. And then from that line of logic, you remember Getou Suguru is strong as hell himself. He is the other half of the strongest duo. He is a special-grade Jujutsu Sorcerer. Someone Gojou acknowledges as powerful. He is Getou Suguru, and he makes a freakin good point.
It’s like Neil Armstrong telling someone it’s impossible for them to go to the moon or something. Maybe not the best analogy, but you get what I mean lol.
‘kays, on to the other point—he generalisation of the non-shamans/non-Jujutsu Sorcerers. This is the part where I—and probably many others?—find kinda iffy. After all, not all non-shamans are like those Getou have met. I mean, I for one do not see myself joining a rich cult any time soon, nor do I see myself locking injured kids in cages without any evidence of wrongdoing; but but but you see, Getou doesn’t really know that. Okay, maybe logically (since it's basically an hasty generalisation fallacy) he has to realise somewhere that there’s a flaw, but since these are people and people aren’t always logical (unfortunately), I try to think about it this way. Why would he understand that his logic is flawed as well as we do, when he has only really seen the ugly side of non-shamans?
Okay, I’ll try to explain what I mean. The religious group is pretty self-explanatory, but the situation with the shaman girls he saved can be expanded on. Getou went on missions to exorcises curses. He was practically bound to meet people like the villagers, who unjustly accused the kids in place of the curses and tossed them into a cage and maybe even beat them until they were bleeding, wherever he turned—in fact, it was probably enough to feed his growing cynicism. After all, it makes sense that the majority of the side of humanity who dealt with this stuff (again, with exceptions of course) was likely to have been forced into some pretty messed up states, or shown other, darker sides of themselves, that kind of thing. I don’t really know how to explain it, but I hope you get what I mean. In any case what I’m tryna say is that for Getou, he has already drawn an imaginary line between the shamans and non-shamans from the beginning. To him, they are wholly different things (’monkeys’, as he eventually put it, learning from Toji. lol)—and for those different things, he has only really experienced/seen/witnessed the underbelly or society or that unpleasant side of them. His mindset is already unlike ours; for example, it’s like if one sees a mosquito, people automatically treat it as a pest because from what we know it sucks our blood and is an annoyance.
But what if not all mosquitoes sucked blood? Yes, we know (or we think we do lololol) that yes, they all do. It’s their nature. But what if we were just in contact with all the mosquitoes that sucked blood and we didn’t really know about the mosquitoes that didn’t? And now we just exterminated them on sight because of our preconceived notions?
Maybe that’s how Getou sees the non-shamans too...?¿
On the other hand, it could also be that Getou is fully aware of what he’s doing, that he’s going to soil his hands from blood of ‘good’ non-shams (e.g. his parents). He probably also doesn’t consider himself a good person, as seen from when he talked to Haibara. But he still does it anyway. He sacrifices himself in a sense, to do the dirty work ‘for the greater good’, because that’s who he is. Furthermore, even if the ‘good’ non-shamans didn’t go around creating curses, there would be no guarantee they wouldn’t in the future, so it’s like nipping a problem from the roots before it can even happen. After all, his parents were still non-shamans, meaning that they might still create curses, and he ‘couldn’t go around making exceptions’ which I think shows how much Getou really is willing to sacrifice.
So my opinion is that that, coupled with Tsukumo’s whole reasoning on how mass genocide would benefit them (lol), is ultimately the difference in how resistant we as readers are to his current ideology of killing all non-shamans and how Getou ultimately made the decision to ‘define his true feelings’ to become akin to a genocidal maniac (still love his character tho). Like, damn, if the religious group were the only non-shamans, heck I say go for it GETou, go GET them (ba dum tss).
On a side note, a moment of silence for Gojou as he mourned his best friend that I suspect he blamed himself somewhat for not being able to ‘save’. They really were a really great duo; their dynamic was so sweet. Shouko too, acting as a middleman for them without being asked to, to give the both of them closure perhaps :’)
Woah, look at that cold gaze in the last panel.
All in all, while I may disagree with some of the stuff he does? I think I can understand it—and that’s why I love him as an antagonist character so much. And I hope you guys do too, and I managed to help you with that :D Anyway, I’m signing out now, and I can’t freakin wait to see this animated in the beautiful anime aesthetics too. Getou Suguru (Gojou and Shouko too) is a really awesome freakin character and I just had to vent all these thoughts out somewhere. thanks for reading guys !! feel free to give your opinions too and have a great day/night (^w^)
#jujutsu kaisen#jujutsukaisen#getou suguru#gojou satoru#geto suguru#gojo satoru#jujutsu kaisen gojo#jujutsu kaisen geto#shouko ieiri#shoko ieiri#riko amanai#satosugu#mewritingawholeassessayonwhygetouisawesome#the strongest duo#the feels#character study#sorta#AAAA I love the three of them and their dynamic so much haha#read jujutsu kaisen#READ IT GUYS#OR WATCH THE ANIME IT'S SO GOOD
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for my first post, i thought that i would give my opinions on harry potter charcters..... just so y’all know where i stand
harry potter himself
-amazing
-love him
-my third favorite character
-my favorite bisexual
-he literally saved the wizard of world, give him some credit people
ronald billius weasley
-how can people not like him?
-good friend
-funny
-what more could you need?
-the definition of a “token straight”
hermione “badass” granger
-does her back hurt from carrying the golden trio?
-ron and harry would be lost without her
-what a queen
-also poc hermione. thank you for listening.
draco malfoy
-i cant stand this bitch
-fanon draco is a whole other story.... but canon draco..... no thanks :)
-literally was a racist dickhead
-i am ashamed that i simped over this man when draco tok was thriving
-please forgive me, i was brainwashed by this bleached headed bimbo
fred weasley
-so the twins aren’t my favorite charcters, but that doesn’t mean i hate them
-i just never really connected with them
-they were dicks to ron, so i think that just turned me off from get-go
-his death is actually so sad considering all of the factors
george weasley
-same thing as fred
-but i head canon him as bi and in love with lee jorden
-let me have my moment
percy weasley
-i love him pls
-the percy slander is a bit much sometimes
-was he annoying? yes, sometimes
-did he make awful decisions? absolutely
-do people ever take into account what might have lead him to make those awful decisions? no
-he lived in a house where he wasn’t appreciated and was constantly being tormented by his siblings.... no wonder he wanted to get out
-is gay and in love with oliver wood
snape
-go die in a hole
-i hate him
-he literally repulses me
-was obsessed with lily an unhealthy amount
-abused children
-makes me wanna punch his face in
dumby dore
-i think i might hate this bitch even more than snape, and that’s saying something
-“for the greater good” stfu
-used the shit out of harry
-planned the potter’s death, and made sure that sirius would be put in azkaban so that harry would be forced to turn to him
-i hate him
-i hate him
-i hate him
remus lupin
-fav character
-i am him, he is me
-i would die for this man
-bi
-i cant put into words how much i love this man
sirius black
-second favorite character cause wolfstar duh
-dunno if i wanna make out with him, or be him
-again, my love for this man simply cannot be put into words
james potter
-wanna be bffs with him
-him and snape had rivalry, so don’t hit me with the bullying crap
-if anything, bullying a self absorbed racist is okay in my books
-didn’t steal lily.... she was her own person.... with her own choices..... and she CHOSE james not snape
-james “the ally” potter threw the first brick at stonewall
ginny weasley
-the movies did her so dirty
-she’s such a badass bi queen
-in love with luna, i don’t make the rules
-she’s not my favorite, just cause i don’t really relate to her, but she’s still amazing
luna lovegood
-pan
-i love her
-was my first comfort character because i too was bullied relentlessly as a child
-nothing fazes her, and it’s amazing
bellatrix lestrange
-i hate her, how do people like her
-she killed sirius, dobby, tonks, and tortured hermione and neville’s parents
-i’m glad she died

molly weasley
-she’s so over glorified
-movie molly > book molly
-favorited ginny and harry
-her and the twins were the root of so many of ron’s insecurities
narcissa malfoy
-she’s also over glorified
-idc if she cared about her son, she is literally a racist
-just because she doesn’t have the dark mark doesn’t mean that she still didn’t serve voldy
regulus black
-marry me
-is the true hero of slytherin
andromeda black
-what. an. icon.
-her and ted are so cute leave me alone
-love her
ok that’s all for now :)
#harry potter#hermione granger#ron weasley#draco malfoy#fred weasley#george weasley#percy weasley#molly weasley#remus lupin#sirius black#wolfstar#james potter#lily evans#severus snape#albus dumbledore#narcissa malfoy#regulus black#andromeda black#ginny weasley#luna lovegood#opinon#snape hate#bellatrix lestrange
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Shouldn't you guys be trying to get a plan in place for what your gonna do with remus once you find him, and how your gonna capture a literal god? Not to mention he has not only de but probly close to 30 if not more agents on his side. Instead of you know bickering, like littel kids.
“I think you’ll find I’m rather efficient at multitasking,” Logan says. “I’ve had Remy maintain an eye on the news station broadcasting. So far their hasn’t appeared to be any sign of Agent Ekans or the brainwashed agents and SHIELD enemies. When we get to the location, I will engage the enemy and have Remy draw up a foolproof defense—”
“What if Remy can’t?” Patton asks innocently.
Logan scoffs. “There would be no reason why he can’t. I created the software he uses to analyze enemies for this purpose. In fact you won’t even have to get out of the plane.”
“Why wouldn’t I leave the plane?”
“There wouldn’t be any need for your... outdated tactics.”
Patton laughs.
“I don’t see what is so entertaining.” Logan says.
“You want to rely solely on your computer,” Patton explains. “For someone so brilliant I thought you would have—”
Logan straightens his back, his eyes flashing with a challenge, “Have what?”
“The target is directly below,” The SHIELD provided pilot interrupts, reaching up to flick several switches.
Patton claps his hands together and then unbuckles his restraints. “Excellent! Then we can continue this conversation in just a moment!”
Logan’s head whips towards him, “Wait—!”
“War waits for no one,” Patton says in a light tone, offering a smile to the inventor as his hand hits the lever to drop the hanger door. And then before it’s even halfway open, he strolls towards it and flips himself through the opening into the empty air.
It feels like flying. Patton breathes in deep as the winds fight to tear him apart, the chill burning his cheeks in a way that the fire never had. He’s burned before; sometimes Patton feels like he’s still burning, but this cold is something so different he’d never confuse it for what being strapped to that table had been like. He locks his limbs together, holds his shield over his heart and dives through the air towards the battlefield below.
((Was this what the Soviet felt like? When he fell from that train?))
He flips at the last second, landing on the ground hard enough to break the cobblestone road under his feet, and holding his shield up to catch the glancing blow from the so-called god that definitely would have hit a citizen. The force of the blow knocked both of them back with a force that popped Patton’s eardrums.
“Hello!” Patton says with a smile, over his shield. “You must be Remus!”
Remus opens his mouth but before he can say anything there’s a loud screech that streaks through the air in a visible, physical wave and slams into him. Even Patton yelps as the man is knocked off his hit and goes flying into the stone wall of a nearby half crumbling building in a way that definitely should have broken all of his ribs.
“Logan!” Patton shouts, glancing up to see the flying suit of armor, with the stern helmet in place to obscure exactly what Logan’s face looks like.
“Since you wanted to be here so badly, keep your eyes on him,” Logan’s voice comes out from it and gosh if that doesn’t feel like something out of a movie. Flying Robots, Gods, Siberia.
Over the sound of screaming civilians, Patton distinctly hears some high pitched laughter— something that doesn’t sound humorous and definitely doesn’t sound happy. Remus staggers to his feet, swaying drunkenly from side to side, his horned crown slightly lopsided, and Logan lands on the ground next to Patton with his glowing palms at the ready.
“Remy, analyze,” the man says.
Remus of Vanir whistles, spinning his spear in his hand. “That eager to get in my pants? You could have just asked! X-rays take all the fun out of it!” He points the spear tip at them. “Tell me something… is your dick made of metal too?”
“Babes, his magic is off the charts. Literally.” Remy’s voice says. “I’m having trouble even locking in on him.”
Patton smiles.
“Hmmm, then we have to do this with my outdated tactics,” Patton says, loosening his grip on his shield and spinning through his throw— which gosh if that didn’t feel great. After so long, the feeling of his shield leaving his hand, the muscle memory of his throws, the thumping of his blood in veins; it’s like excitement. It’s like being alive.
Remus shifts barely an inch to dodge the shield, letting it collide with the dented wall, bounce off the ground and ricochet back to Patton’s arm.
“Impressive,” Logan says, but Patton can’t tell with this robotic tone if he’s being made fun of or not.
“My, my, my,” Remus says, “Aren’t you two eager peepers! What happened to conversation, Mr. Blueskies, Mr. Hammer? You mortals still do that, right? Get to know each other before you try to kill each other?”
Logan’s palms glow brightly, and Patton feels his heart leap into his throat.
“How do you know that name?” Patton asks, feeling like his skin is a size too small. “That name…Tell me!”
“What? Blueskies?” Remus laughs. “Oh Captain, my Captain,” He grins, canines sharp and eyes ablaze, “Make me.”
Patton steps forward, shield front and center, and says, with every inch of calm rationality he does not feel, “Stand down and surrender,” He orders, and it sounds like a threat, a promise, “Or I will.”
Remus twirls his spear in his hands, tapping the pointed part against his chin twice for emphasis. “Hmm…” He hums thoughtfully, as if he were actually taking Patton’s words seriously, as if Patton had not said them as a courtesy nothing more, as if Patton had not been through battle through bloody battle, had not fought half a war—as if he did not know men like Remus did not surrender until they were made to.
But Patton always asked. Fights might have been freeing, electrifying, but the blood staining his hands after were not, even if he always tried to pull his blows. Against Remus he would not have to, Patton doesn’t even think he could.
He can’t quite comprehend how much that terrifies him.
“Nah,” Remus decides, shooting his arm out and sending a piercing bolt of energy out of the spear’s gem with a fluid jab of his wrist. Patton plants his feet and raises his shield, but his knees buckle as the spell impacts with a bang—and suddenly he’s twenty feet back and half buried in a snowbank, blinking, “I’ve heard a lot about you, Mr. Blueskies,” He cackles, “But if you can’t even take a hit— well, I don’t think your whole ‘living legend’ schtick is gonna last much longer!”
Logan launches into the air sending another one of those shrieking blasts towards Remus, while Patton tries to remember how to breathe in. The snow is cold, a shock to his system, and arms feel a bit like pudding under his skin from the impact. He stumbles to his feet, trying to get his bearings again.
Across the square, Logan’s sonic repulsor thingy— what’s what he called it right? Patton shakes his head— tears through the cobblestone ground, as Remus dodges artfully around without being caught in a made up dance. Patton thinks he might even be singing some Asgardian drinking song, although he can’t hear the words. Then without warning, the demigod throws an empty hand up at Logan and winks.
The subsequent green blast of magic is so bright it nearly blinds Patton to watch. Logan goes careening from the sky, crashing straight through the squares fountain. Remus jumps up after him, moving like a rabid squirrel over the unearthed and broken sections of concrete and piping and gripping his scepter with two hands to bring it down on Logan’s glowing chest.
Patton winds back to throw his shield again, but Logan is faster, rolling to the side just as the bladed tip of the spear lodges into the block where his repulser had been.
“He’s using his weapon as a morning star,” Logan’s voice says through the earpiece, ringing loud and clear through Patton’s head.
“Got it,” Patton says and takes off after the target. He throws his shield as the demigod raises his spear again.
“Swing, batter, batter! SWIIIIIING!!” Remus yells, knocking it out of the way and Patton dives low for his unguarded, unstable legs. They go skidding backwards, rolling over rocks and stone and each other’s limbs and gosh that crack sounded bad, but Remus’s laughter persists.
Like he thinks this is fun. Like he isn’t bleeding, like he hasn’t destroyed half a city, like he hasn’t ruined hundreds of lives today alone. He laughing like this is the most enjoyment he’s had all week and Patton’s blood is boiling inside him, burning through his skin and threatening to spill right out.
Patton lands with his hands pinning Remus down, and his head buzzing with so many thoughts that he can’t hear any of them.
“I’m actually a top,” Remus says, twisting his knees up and launching Patton off of him.
Patton hits the ground rolling, and sliding back to his feet like he’d done a million times back in the days of his Howling Commandos, his breath condensing in the air in front of him. He looks up just in time to see a flash of green light and he stumbles back—
“Patton!” His name twists mid-syllable, mutating from a shout to a gentle call, until a familiar, lilting accent is curling warm around the letters. He looks up, and the Brit grins brightly down at him, one hand clasping his shoulder, “You alright, Mr. Blueskies? You zoned out on us for a moment there?”
Patton looks at him, really looks at him, with his old round glasses cleaned roughly on his shirt. He’s not blurry, but bright, almost blindingly so, cheekbones sunken but blue eyes clear.
Wait, no—Patton blinks, feels like he’s stumbling, freefalling backward for a moment—Patton blinks and his eyes are venom green, still creased in concern, but it’s not right, not him, not—
Patton opens his mouth to protest, to question, to demand, but the Brit’s name slips backwards from his brain and he can’t quite grasp it between his fingers anymore. He blinks again, and the back of his eyelids are green and he can feel his pulse behind them, hard and fast.
The Brit’s eyes are hazel. Soft and concerned and bleeding, dripping messily from each duct like tears and staining his cheeks an ugly scarlet. He bleeds and he bleeds and he bleeds, from his eyes and nose and ears, a mottling purple bruise creeping up the side of his neck and curling painfully around his wrists and suddenly, suddenly, he’s stepping out of range, taking away his hand and his smile and his warmth and Patton—
Patton slams into the concrete beneath him. The back of his head snaps against his helmet and his eyes are spinning and there’s green smoke glowing around him—for a moment he feels like he’s drowning, and his head has just breached the waves as his lungs heaved, but then his body seizes again, once, twice, as his comm screams in his ears—
“Captain!—”
The explosion is as loud as it is violent, shredding through the room and ripping through the wall without any warning. Patton hits the ground, feeling the rumbling of the train under him, the winds of the Siberian winter mountain over him. He can hear his team scrambling through their radios as the signal screams, working around the curses in an amount of languages that outnumber the years this war had been going on for.
“—just messed up,” a voice is saying. “You’re fighting off my creations with the power of denial? Deedee said your daddy fucked you over but I didn’t think it was that bad!”
“Patton!” the Soviet screams. Patton can’t breathe as he raises his head, as he clings to the broken railing, as he looks over and sees the Soviet just barely holding on himself. He’s outside the train car, finger wrapped around a piece of exposed metal that’s cutting through his gloves and spilling blood across his palms.
“Patton, these are just illusions,” another says far closer, almost right in his ears. Patton wants to scream. The wind is tearing through the gap in the train wall, strong enough that even his super soldier strength is barely keeping him holding on and the Soviet is staring at him with fear, with horror, with terror. His eyes are brown, brown like dark chocolate, unmistakable, unforgettable, un-illusionable. His face is half burned, half smashed, half collided with the wall and his left cheek marred by more blood than it should be possible.
“Patton, listen to me! Whatever you’re seeing it’s not—”
“Patton,” the Soviet’s lips move, and Patton can feel the infinity between his heartbeats. “Please I can’t—!”
Siberian winds are strong. Patton lunges forward, his fingers reaching, stretching, grasping and the Siberian winds drag the Soviet out into empty air, into a free fall, into the nothingness of wilderness and snow and a fall that no human, super serum or not, could survive.
Funny isn’t it? The Soviet survived the war of his homeland that ravaged the earth, survived a year in HYDRA prisoner camps that had killed more good men than the records would ever remember, survived joining the allies who never trusted him; he could have survived everything. But instead he had come in contact with Patton Hart, whose specialty has always been killing the things closest to him.
Patton is still screaming the Soviet’s name when there’s a sharp CLANG metal on stone and the train around him evaporates like fallen snow itself.
His chest is heaving, pulse rushing, and spots swimming at the edge. He throws himself to the side and heaves, spit dripping on the sidewalk. His stomach is churning with guilt and anger, running so hot he thinks his throat might burn if he actually hurls, so he presses one kevlar covered hand against his mouth to keep it down as salt burns in his eyes.
After a moment, he hears the low hum of repulsors, and the solid clank of metal against cement. He looks up, folding back onto his knees, just as Logan places the cool metal frames of his glasses on the bridge of his nose.
“Breathe in through your mouth,” Logan suggests, calmly, “And out through your nose. Slowly.”
Patton sucks a breath in as Logan’s face, helmet folded back into the armor, swims into clarity before him. His stomach settles, some, and he swallows, feeling his lips curl into a familiar shape.
“It appears there’s been a new development,” Logan informs him, once his breathing has been regulated into something resembling normal. He crouches down next to him as Patton viciously rubs his cheeks dry, more thankful than he can express at the moment. “Are you…?”
“I’m fine,” Patton says. “I’m fine.”
“You shouldn’t be,” Logan comments, removing his hands once Patton steadies, “It is expected to be disoriented after a mental attack of that severity. What I meant was—”
“REMUS!”
Logan and Patton both whip towards the sound, Logan reaching up and tapping the side of his helmet at the sight before them: the roof of a building twenty feet away and a figure standing aloft the edge, red cape billowing in the wind, and a sword with a glowing golden hilt in his hand. Logan hisses at the sight of him, but from Patton’s very professional opinion, with moonlit glow at his back, the newcomer seems like something out of a fairytale, a dream come to life.
“Thomas, if you can hear me…” Logan says distastefully into his com, “It appears Prince Roman has, at last, arrived to take responsibility for his brother.”
End of Chapter Four
Previous Ask || Rules || Ch 4 Start || Masterlist || Next Chapter
#avengers au#sanders sides#chapter four#roman!!#Remus!!#logan sanders#patton sanders#whoops Patton and those pesky flashbacks#someone get this kid some therapy pls#Logan also needs therapy but he's just better at faking it#Roman!!!! is Here!!#please love him#twila's art
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what do YOU personally think the teenagers (mcr) lyrics are about my friend ? like i keep thinking about them but im not sure im going somewhere
okay, ive answered this ask twice on mobile and each time my phone deleted it, so here I go, the FINAL version of this post
It's been a hot minute since I listened to teenagers so I decided to do a quick run-through of the lyrics, and while Gerard&Co were raised catholic the lyrics seem to REEK of protestant trauma, so that's what I'll be going off of, but I'm pretty sure the two denominations overlap here. The first verse is about kids in youth group, Christian GirlsTM especially, who are put there to pressure you into being "normal" into "cleaning you up with the lies in the book" (bible), although the pastor is the one giving the teaching THESE are the people who will get you to BELIEVE, who will get you to lie to yourself, who will get you to church camps that on some level utilize brainwashing techniques, and will DESTROY you with the idea that you're "Just one of them, and just need to change everything about yourself and fake your way through every last sermon to be just a part of the gang",
The part about sleeping with a gun and keeping an eye on you is about two things: one, about the idea that God can see all your thoughts, that THINKING about "sin" (ie; fantasizing about sex) is as bad as COMMITTING sin (which is fucked up entirely on its own because fantasy is SO FUCKING DIFFERENT FROM REALITY and that is a CRUCIAL aspect of sexual expression in order to safely engage in sex), AND the fact that these kids will pretend to be your friend, will prod you into doing things with them, into telling them things about yourself all the while making you feel like "part of the group" when really they're just blabbing either to religious leaders, or are ostracizing you and bullying you behind your back.
"The drugs never work"
This in my opinion points to the fact that this song is specifically about being QUEER in a christian culture. It is common for trans people to turn to drugs or psychedelics in an area that has little to no access to gender affirming care, or acceptance because they both change reality and disconnect one from the body that is causing their dysphoria. It can also help burn away the guilt, so to speak.
The methods of keeping you clean is about two things: one, about purity culture, no smoking, no drinking, no friends who drink, no sex, no porn, no masturbation, no impure thoughts. The second, is the way they're able to subtly manipulate you into hiding yourself, into lying to yourself, into forcing yourself to the point of death into being cishet. They're keeping you clean not just from the vices of addiction, but the vices of the flesh, the vice you can't escape because it's a part of you from the day youre born. On a darker note, this could also be referring to c*nversion th*rapy, given this second interpretation of the lyrics
"Ripping your head and aspirations to shreds," Is again about two things in my opinion: both the idea of "losing yourself to God's will" that usually leads one to losing their identity and getting depression and fucked up mental health, and the "shift" that happens at church when you reach a certain age. You know the kind, right? You're four years old, and church is FUN! You get to go to this big room and sing and dance on stage with all your friends! You get to play GAMES! You get to talk to the ~cool teenagers~ who are ~Just like you~ and ~think youre a "cool kid"~, you have ~best friends~ who will be with you like Jesus and the 12! but then, one day, something happens, something SHIFTS. maybe the Sunday school teacher leaves, maybe there's a new family at church, maybe the church changes buildings. Maybe none of that has to do with any of it, all you know is that now things are forever different. Church isn't fun anymore. The kids classes are repetitive, they're bribing you into memorizing bible verses with money, they DONT reward critical thinking or analysis, but they do call you smart, that's because they dont want SMART kids they want OBEDIANT ones. You have no choice but to stat going to REAL church. Suddenly, your best friends are not your best friends. Suddenly they're avoiding you. Suddenly they're lying to you. Suddenly you're too... well they don't know the word yet but "gay" for them...
"Teenagers scare the living shit out of me"
This is what youth group does to you, it isolates you from your entire generation because there are few people your age and a whole lot older than you, and everyone is so much DIFFERENT from you for some reason, but neither of you know why, not yet anyways. This makes you distance yourself from teenagers, because you can't SEE yourself as a teenager, because youre nothing like other teenagers.
"They could care less as long as someone will bleed,"
This is the martyr complex that permeates youth culture like the smell of wine, the problem? these kids love to make a show of themselves and their martyrdom, but they're unwilling to martyr themselves, so what do they do? They throw someone else to the wolves and take the glory. They ostracize and eliminate the unique in the name of preserving their faith. They convert and convert and god help anyone who doesn't want to convert.
"So darken your clothes and strike a violent pose"
This is about deconversion, how the moment you leave the church you never want to see another cross till the day you die, that you want to avoid christians of all costs because you don't want them To drag you back into the pit that devoured you. So you do anything and everything you can to make yourself repulsive to Christians, which actually coincides with your indulgence of mundane activities previously considered as "sin"
"Maybe they'll leave you alone but not me,"
There's a different between a cishet ex Christian and a queer ex christian, and that difference is that a cishet atheist is more likely to be left alone than a queer one, especially a queer one whose whole demeanor screams "Christians be gone," that shit is like... it summons christians faster than free winter jam tickets! They swarm to you frothing at the mouth with holy water waiting to either convert you or exorcise you into purity, depends on if you want them or not. Again, you don't even have to be OPENLY gay, they can TRACK this shit. it's like fucking... INSTINCT or something.
"The boys and girls in the clique, the awful names that they stick, you're never gonna fit in much kid,"
as alluded to above, this lyric is about how, even from a young age, BEFORE youth group, this toxic culture kind of develops. ESPECIALLY around christian girls. They don't have the vulgarity of slurs, but they can make up for it with slang like "tomboy" "nancyboy" "too boyish" "a sissy" "Weird" etc, youre NEVER going to fit in, because the moment that "shift", from fun games and songs to Real Church, occurs, you have a target on your back.
"But if youre troubled and hurt what you got under your shirt will make them pay for the things that they did,"
This is probably a gun. But that's a tad too boring for my taste. If you were raised protestant you KNOW that being an ex protestant, after the craziness of evangelicalism, you would not hesitate to burn down your old church. It could be a secret tattoo, top surgery scars, hell maybe even nipple clamps. Whatever it is, it's symbolic of revenge. I know that anytime I wore my labrys necklace to church I would always hide it under my shirt. I hid books and CDs under there too. Again, it's about revenge, it's about breaking free, gun or no gun, the point is getting out and getting back at them.
and thats pretty much my take on the song. Again, this is not about artist intent this is just what the lyrics reminded ME of personally (as you can see from the over biographical bullshit I wrote), I'm always open to contradicting interpretations though as I always have like 2+ interpretations of a song or book! I never really saw the song through the lens of youth group specifically but when I went over the lyrics again in retrospect it all seemed to really click (pun not intended) well! Thanks for the ask!
#anon#okay to rb#religious trauma#ex christian#religious trauma syndrome#ex baptist#ex protestat#apostate#MCR#mcr#my chem#my chemical romance#the black parade#welcome to the black parade#gerard way#ray toro#frank iero#Mikey way
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Shigaraki x Reader: You Don’t Need Heroes
Word Count: 1.5k
Warnings: Manipulation, sensory deprivation, bone breaking, heavy angst
(Y/N) loved heroes. I could see it in her eyes when one ran by on their way to save someone. I could see it in the way she glued herself to the screen when they came on TV to peddle their narratives. And, most repulsively, how she sparkled with joy when All Might showed his face; it didn’t matter weather it was live on the news, a years-old video archived on the internet, or in person, as she stood in a crowd of hundreds observing his latest stunt.
If it hadn’t been for her love of heroes, (Y/N) would have been perfect, she was beautiful, kind, and submissive, so I was willing to look past that shortcoming.
She knew I was a villain, though I don’t think she quite understood the extent of what I did, because if she had, I doubt she would have continued to speak with me. I often asked her why she didn’t just turn me over to the heroes she loved so much so they could finally lock me up, and she always gave the same answer:
“Everyone deserves to be saved, even you. Only evil people belong in prison.”
(Y/N) desperately wanted to be a hero since she was a child, but she was born quirkless and was never able to follow that dream. I figured that she focused so much on “saving” me as a way to live out that fantasy, and I didn’t really mind. Until I suddenly did.
I couldn’t say why, but one day, while we sat together in (Y/N)’s apartment as she rambled on about All Might’s latest triumph, something inside snapped, and I couldn’t stand it any longer. This perfect, pure girl, utterly brainwashed by our society. Heroes wouldn’t save you when you really needed it, I knew that firsthand, and her wholehearted belief in them made me feel physically sick. I didn’t have an outburst though. Instead, the beginnings of a plan formed in my head.
“(Y/N),” I said, probably cutting her off, though I hadn’t been listening. “Do you really think that All Might would save you if you were in trouble.”
“Well, All Might may not; I hear he’s a pretty busy guy.” She laughed. “But I really think that if any hero knew about it, they’d do everything they could to save me. That’s what heroes do.”
The undiluted faith she displayed in that moment would have been adorable if it weren’t so pathetic.
“I’m heading home.” I didn’t wait for an answer, and, followed by protests from (Y/N), I walked out the door.
It wasn’t difficult to get (Y/N) where I wanted her. On my way out of her apartment I pocketed an antique locket she had lying on an accent table, the only keepsake she had from her late grandmother. A few days later, I sent her a text from a different number saying that I found it at the gym she frequented. (Y/N) was gullible, she wouldn’t have been so infatuated with heroes if she weren’t, so she didn’t think to question how a stranger found her number though her necklace. It probably also helped that she was in a frenzy looking for it, and overcome with relief at the prospect that she’d be getting it back.
I told her to meet me outside a coffee shop that wouldn’t have been too out of the way, but because of my fabricated work schedule she had to come long after close.
After that, it was easy as pulling a bag over her head and restraining her arms.
“Hey! Who are y-mmph!” I gagged her over top of the bag so that she wouldn’t alert anyone on the main roads not too far away.
“Just be a good girl and I promise you’ll get your precious locket back.” I distorted my own voice, making it deeper and raspier, in a hope that she wouldn’t recognize it.
I guided her through the city, sticking to dark alleyways, and managed to keep my hold on her despite her struggling. We eventually reached an abandoned warehouse. I shoved her onto a chair and tied her in place.
I removed the gag, leaving the bag on her head, and she immediately started yelling.
“Help! Someone! Help!”
I pulled a cheap voice modifier out of my pocket and spoke into it.
“No one can hear you.”
“Who the hell are you!” She whipped her head around, trying to find the source of the voice despite being unable to see.
“I’m a villain. One that the heroes in this area know very well.”
“Th-then they’ll come to save me!” She tried to sound confident but her voice shook. “Heroes save everyone.”
This was going exactly as planned.
“Are you so sure?” I asked, pulling an audio recorder out of my pocket. “Why don’t we hear what the news has to say.”
I pressed play and the audio that Mr. Compress had recorded for me earlier began
“An hour ago, in this very spot, a woman was carried away by a well known villain. The heroes in the area have given up looking for her, claiming there are more important tasks to handle. The police claim they’re unequipped to handle someone this–”
I cut the audio.
“Looks like you aren’t so high on their priority list, huh?”
“They’ll come eventually! Heroes save everyone.” She still had some trust in the heroes. I just needed to break it.
“Hopefully that eventually comes soon,” I taunted, “because you don’t have much time left.”
“What does that mean.” Her voice was panicky.
I cleared my throat, pretending to make a phone call.
“Hello, All Might. Hope you aren’t busy right now!” I feigned waiting for a response. “You aren’t? That’s great! You see, I’ve got this girl here, she’s a massive fan of yours, by the way, and I’m gonna kill her in ten minutes. And just to make sure you get here as soon as possible I’m gonna break one of her fingers every minute.”
(Y/N)’s eyes widened in horror.
“Please!” she screamed, hoping to get though to the person she thought I was calling. “Please help me! I don’t wanna die. Please!”
I ignored her. “Oh, you won’t come? Why not? Your body’s sore? That’s not a very good reason. Well, do whatever you want I guess.”
“Please don’t hurt me.” From beneath the bag, I heard (Y/N) sniffle and start to cry. “I’ll do what ever you want.”
“I think I wanna break some fingers.”
I started counting: “1... 2... 3...” and (Y/N) repeated over and over again: “Heroes save everyone. Heroes save everyone.” But all the confidence she had previously said that phrase with was gone. It was now a mantra or a prayer as she helplessly struggled against the rope.
“60!” I exclaimed and her chanting stopped.
I didn’t want to hurt her, but if I wanted her to abandon her blind faith in heroes I had no choice. In my mind, I reminded myself that, in her eyes, this wasn’t my fault, it was the fault of a cruel villain and crueler heroes.
And she will never know the truth, I thought as I broke her left ring finger in one swift motion.
(Y/N) let out a cry of pure agony that almost hurt me to hear. Her sobs became more laboured and she started to mumble incoherently between breaths.
I decided that I’d achieved my goal, meaning that it was time to bring her pain to an end. I started throwing things, punching walls, slamming doors, creating the auditory illusion of a fight.
I removed the voice modifier from my mouth and called out, “(Y/N) is that you?”
“Tomura...” Her voice was small and uncertain.
I turned the ropes to dust and pulled the bag off of her head. Her eyes were red and puffy and her cheeks were stained with tears.
“It’s me. What happened?”
(Y/N)’s good hand clutched my arm. “The heroes didn’t come.”
“It’s okay you’re safe now.” I tried to reassure her with a smile.
“You were right. Heroes don’t save everyone.”
I reached for her left hand and examined it. “Your finger looks broken. Come on, I’ll put it in a splint.” I removed her hand from my arm and stood up. I tentatively grabbed her good hand and urged her to come with me. At the slightest tug, (Y/N) flew from her chair and wrapped her arms around me, burying her face in my chest.
“Tomura the heroes didn’t come!” She sniffed. “You were right, heroes won’t protect me. What’s gonna happen now?”
I ran my fingers through her hair in an attempt to comfort her. It worked perfectly. Her heart no longer belonged to the heroes. She was mine.
“You don’t need heroes (Y/N); all you need is me.”
#bnha#boku no hero academia#mha#my hero academia#bnha fanfiction#mha fanfiction#boku no hero academia fanfiction#my hero academia fanfiction#bnha angst#mha angst#boku no hero academia angst#my hero academia angst#shigaraki tomura#tomura shigaraki#shigaraki x reader#bnha shigaraki x reader#mha shigaraki x reader#shigaraki x reader angst#shigaraki#tenko shimura
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