the study of motion.
welt / reader (1.3k) sfw. GN reader. implied age gap (reader is vaguely implied to be younger than welt)
Welt has a hard time capturing your likeness in his sketchbook.
It’s how your hands move, he thinks.
They’re precise, but not delicate. When you grab things, you hold them. You don’t do anything in half measures, and certainly not that. When you flex your fingers, rolling your knuckles, ready for the next strike of a fragmentum blade, he knows it won’t move you. Unyielding.
But they’re gentle, too. How you hold a coffee cup; two fingers hooked through the handle, your little finger curled under the base. Or cradled in both hands, palms folded around it as steam rises to warm your face.
It’s hard to capture them, your hands. Too many lines, too messy. He wastes pages on them, dissatisfied with the outcomes. He was making them too classically pretty; neatly formed nails, perfect lines and perfect shapes. Scratch that; it doesn’t suit you, not at all.
You’re not perfect, and neither are your hands, and that, that, is what he wants to catch. Your little fingers are shorter than they should be; stumpy, you call them, wiggling them in your gloves, where the standard-sized material sags around them. The faded scar on your middle finger that always comes with a different story.
Oh this? I punched some idiot once. This one? I think it was a can opener. Ah, this little thing? Not big deal, it happened a long time ago.
Scars are tricky things; proof that something left its mark in you. Someday maybe you’ll wind back around to the truth. He can wait. He can take his time.
Ah, that’s how your palm folded, two lines bending toward the center. A lifeline? A heartline? He wasn’t overly familiar with that form of divination. A fantasy— in another life. Maybe in this one it was real, another prescient matrix to chart fate. He didn’t need precognition to know your hands were destined for something great, something wonderful; he knew just from watching you in motion that your trajectory will arc higher than the stars.
He realizes he’s getting lost in details; it’s the shapes that matter. The movement. How the ball of your thumb rolls as you tuck it under. It’s been a long time since he was in the studio, and it’s easy to forget when all he has time for these days are studies. It’s not about capturing the perfect single frame; your hands— like you— are never at rest, so there’s no way to capture them in stillness. Animation is the study of motion, after all.
Like when you hook them under his arm, and drag him whole-body toward the magazine stand. Or when you rest your palm to his shoulder, looking out over the Luofu’s projected skyscape. Or when you tap two fingers on his sketchbook, head on your other hand, smiling. Ever gonna show me what you’re always so focused on in there?
Someday, he says, tucking it away. When I’ve got it right.
Don’t make me wait forever! you laugh.
Sometimes, he can barely wait through now. His studies devolve when you’re on a mission elsewhere. Of course. There’s no model to work from, after all. No one to puzzle over their tablet, fingers flicking past pages. No one to lean against the parlor table, hands hooked around the edge.
Well. That isn’t quite precisely true. There are several someones, but they aren’t you.
But it doesn’t stop him from drawing from memory, all the same. Holding a pencil. Steepled in thought. Balled up in anger, frustration in the firm line of your wrist. Careful, petting something soft.
Fingers intertwined with another hand, one he knows far better, one he can study whenever he likes. He wonders if you’d tuck your little finger under the edge of his palm, like you do with your coffee cup, curled close.
Scratch that, scratch all of it. He’s not ready to think about that. Or, no— he is, unfortunately, thinking, but he shouldn’t be. You’re too bright, still burning. He’s going to gutter long before you fade. And you think of him as a friend, a mentor, maybe, if he’s lucky. Someone trusted, familiar, safe. You’ve got other hands to hold, more suitable, less worn, less creased, with no ugly bump from years spent holding a drafting pen too tight.
Better to keep things ideal. Distant. Lines on paper. Sketches on the page.
“Welt, can I ask you something?”
You’ve been loitering in the parlor car with him between missions. You’ve been restless all day, unable to settle on something, picking at loose threads on your coat and removing them with your trademark precision. He has a handful of rapid studies of it, the way your index finger and thumb form an oval, but he’s had some trouble with conveying the tension as you tug the thread free.
“Certainly,” he says, paging through his tablet absently, sketchbook set aside for the moment.
���What’s the bump on your middle finger? Is that a scar?”
“Ah. Something like that. It happens over years of work with traditional pens. Writer’s callus, though artists get them, too. A bit unsightly— ”
Before he can stop you, you’re leaning across the table, taking his hands in yours. Firm and direct. Sturdy. Warm.
“Not at all,” you disagree, thumb smoothing over his palm, running over those unfathomable lines. “It’s like with a good tool. You work with it every day, and eventually you wear it down and leave a mark. I think you’ve used your hands well, Welt.”
“Thank you,” he says, and tries to pretend it doesn’t go straight through him. He knows that now’s his moment to pull back, his moment to let go, before he makes you stand still for a beat too long, but he’s dreamed of this for so long, surely a single moment can’t be too much— ? But no. Bodies in motion should stay in motion. He loosens his grip, so you can move away.
“Heh. Sorry for being so forward,” you say, before he can fill the silence. “I’ll let you get back to what you were doing, then…”
But you don’t move away. Instead, you stay there, as you are, hands in his hands, long after he let go.
Oh.
“… actually,” he says, thumbs rubbing over the backs of your hands, feeling the fine bones just beneath the surface. Sturdy. Gentle. “Perhaps you might stay.”
Your grip goes tighter, and you side around the table, closer to him— close enough to feel your breath, close enough to smell your shampoo, close enough that he can hear it when you breathe it out.
“Finally. It only took forever for you to notice.”
“Sorry,” he mumbles. It’s not enough, but you’re so close, so real, so present, hand in hand, he can’t quite form the words he’d like to use. It seems untethered from reality, some kind of fiction. But no; he would know your hands anywhere, and they are firmly in his, exactly where you seem to want them to be.
“Well,” you say, still there, still real. “I’m glad I finally caught your attention.”
“You’ve always had it,” he says, softly. “I just… didn’t think you were looking back.”
You pull back, only slightly, giving him a half-lidded look. “Really? All these months? And you never once noticed how much I was hanging around bothering you? Watching you draw?”
“It seems I was looking in the wrong direction.”
“Yeah? And what had you so transfixed, Mr. Yang?” you say, playful, gentle, an invitation, as your fingers slide between his.
“Perhaps,” he says, as your bodies press close, as he lowers his mouth to yours, as you pull him gently into your orbit, “I should show you my sketchbook, sometime.”
141 notes
·
View notes
the difference between zosopp and sanuso (romantic OR platonic) is that Usopp is Zoro's specialest little guy and Zoro is someone Usopp hangs out with and looks up to and hides behind when things get scary, but Sanji and Usopp are best friends. They horse around, they beat each other up, they confide their worst fears trying to one up each other. Usopp hides behind Sanji sometimes, sure, but idk, Sanji's weaknesses are more obvious (bugs, fighting women, etc) so there are times when Usopp has to stand in front of Sanji too, yknow?
Like, how do I say this, all the crewmates are equal- Usopp and Zoro are equals- but with Sanji it feels like more... comradery? Zoro's a rock in a terrible storm- even rocks tend to get weathered and chipped and worn down, but they overall stay strong and steady. He has trouble being vulnerable and there are times when the burden he's placed on himself to keep the crew safe is crushing his chest. Usopp would help with that and be very understanding, but the point I'm trying to get with that is that those moments are few and far between. So I feel like Usopp, especially after Water 7, would take Zoro's lead on something like that, and keep most of his worries to himself or only talk about them sparingly unless they're really bad and/or he can't hide them.
Sanji is like a tree in a storm; he can be strong, yes, but it feels like he bends and sways with the storm, and has more obvious breaking points. He can relate more to Usopp's struggles rather than resorting to blunt honesty that might border on callous like Zoro. And while, with Zosopp, I tend to think of scenarios with Zoro being blunt like that as a good thing- because sometimes when you're spiraling, it's nice to have someone say exactly what's great about you and shoot down all your worries with straight facts that you can't argue with- I can also see this as being a bad thing. Anxiety can really twist up your brain sometimes, you know? And despite the words, the tone could still mess someone up if they're already feeling like a burden on others in some way.
With Sanuso it's a lot more understanding and thoughtful words. It's distractions and comfort food and patience- the kind reserved for Usopp- until Usopp talks about whatever's troubling him. Compared to Zosopp, it doesn't take as long for Usopp to open up, since he's done the same thing to Sanji at times and it's more familiar to him to talk and commiserate with Sanji about his worries and doubts and such. However, there are times stuff like this has absolutely no effect and Sanji will end up at a loss, no idea what to do or how to help over the course of several days with Usopp being quiet and keeping his distance, and he'll end up working himself up about it which will only serve to make Usopp feel worse and. yeah. bit of a vicious cycle with them.
So it's like. Usopp can be weak with both of them, but since I see Sanji as the type of guy who'd be more open with his worries (at least compared to Zoro), there's less of a need to 'perform' and be his best self around him. He's comfortable around Zoro, yes, but he is constantly wanting to show that he won't be a problem to him. On the other hand, while he's more open with Sanji, and Sanji with him, they tend to relate a bit too much with each other and they both have issues with causing trouble for others and being 'deserving of love' so failed attempts at consoling one hurts the other and creates an unpleasant cycle of misery and avoidance before some other crewmate (Zoro) tells them to quit being stupid and just fucking talk to each other.
82 notes
·
View notes
Last night my wife and I attended her highschool athletic association hall of fame banquet where she was being inducted as an honoree. A very big deal as she had a very serious career as a high school athlete which continued through college and after up even until today (she is actually out playing flag football this morning!) I am so proud of her and I know how much this means to her so I'm happy she is getting recognition.
But I am trying to process my own emotions surrounding this event and sporting culture in general, as a person who used to be athletic and active and now is disabled due to chronic physical and mental illness. It's a tough spot to be in but it's made much harder by the fact that our culture elevates sporting and being active and outdoorsy activities while either ignoring people with disabilities or outright blaming them for their mobility issues. My wife has always been very supportive of me but I don't think she always gets why I feel so vulnerable and out of place in "sports culture" events and groups. I think she thinks I can just come along for fun but it's wrapped up in so much garbage for me that even just spectating is really difficult.
Last night was tough enough because I don't particularly enjoy fancy affairs where you schmooze with strangers and especially was not looking forward to being likely the only queer people there but the sports thing just made things extra hard. That's all everyone talked about. And I get that it's so important! I remember those days too. It's just hard because I feel it was taken away from me. It makes me feel jealous, resentful, frustrated, and bored and all of those are ugly feelings and I don't like it.
I have met some of my wife's sportier friends in the past and they will shake my hand and look at me and my body and say things like "wow you should play hockey/football/basketball/handball." Should I play sports? Should I move my body for fun? Should I wake up every day and use my body in the way it was designed and not be crippled by pain? One time someone said to me "if I had your size I would dominate on the rugby pitch." If you had MY SIZE???? Let me tell you that as a person about 20 years into recovering from bulimia this is absolutely not the kind of shit I want to hear.
Last night someone saw my cane and asked (jokingly, I think?) if it was a sports injury. Nope, I'm disabled. Oh. Another person asked if I had attended this highschool, I said that no I had attended another highschool in the area; they asked if I did sports there, I said I did synchronized swimming until college. "Oh why didn't you continue?" Well jesus not that it's any of your business but that's when I became disabled, actually.
I have not figured out a way to gracefully navigate these situations while still respecting my own boundaries and privacy. They shouldn't be asking these questions but it wasn't too out of place considering the situation either. I just wish I knew what to say. It's hard because I'm still processing how I feel about my body and my limitations and I don't even really like talking about it with my doctors or my therapist, all of whom are awesome, or my friends, who are also awesome, so why would I want to talk about it with this random person? And I'm so mad that all of this got ripped open last night and I felt so vulnerable and upset and it's still getting to me today.
30 notes
·
View notes