#nemotime
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post-timeskip Sanji is sent back in time to a point before Sabaody. I don't really have a whole thing for this, just Sanji having to restrain himself from yelling at his younger self to please, dear god, do NOT let Usopp get sent to Boin on his own.
He's also taking a lot of time to drag Usopp to the kitchen and give him lessons on proper nutrition and cooking. Usopp- as with everyone else- is very confused. Sanji's the cook, isn't he? That's his job, not Usopp's.
Sanji has to make up some excuse about being sick once and Usopp planning and cooking meals so badly that it has haunted him for years. Man, having a chronic liar and storyteller for a boyfriend is really rubbing off on him. Not that he's complaining at the moment.
Despite his confusion, Usopp genuinely has a good time with Sanji. Especially since he's not really cooking, more just writing stuff down in a notebook while Sanji lists off different recipes and why they're good to know off the top of his head. He doesn't understand why every recipe seems like they'd be best suited for camping out in a large, killer bug and plant-infested forest- specific, yes, but also Sanji keeps making a note about that after he lists off each recipe. Usopp is going to avoid thinking about it too deeply.
Younger Sanji, meanwhile, is pouting and denying it to anyone who points it out. His kitchen gets commandeered and it feels like his older self is mocking him. Like every time he pulls Usopp to the galley, he's saying, "Look how easily I can touch him, compliment him, make him laugh. Look how weak and cowardly you are." and younger Sanji can't stand it.
He'd grown a bit distant from Usopp since realizing his romantic feelings for him back in Water 7- and isn't that fucked up? it was only after they were in a hotel for the night, Usopp well and truly not a part of the crew anymore, that Sanji had felt an aching in his heart. The same ache that followed him now, though it's far more pleasant than it had been in that hotel.
Eventually, there's some kind of portal that appears high above Sunny and very distant high pitched screaming. Familiar high pitched screaming.
"SANJI!"
Sanji gets a big grin on his face and without thinking he uses Sky Walk to meet the quickly growing speck in the shape of a person. He holds out his arms and catches a flailing post-TS Usopp in his arms.
"Oh thank god," he said, quickly wrapping his arms around Sanji's neck. Sanji lowered them down to the deck and they were immediately surrounded.
"Holy shit, I'm buff!" younger Usopp said.
"Did Sanji-san just jump into the sky?!" Brook exclaimed, with similar sentiments echoed by Luffy and Chopper, sparkles in their eyes. "How- what- how?"
"Older Usopp's outfit is looking pretty super too!"
"You're only saying that because I'm half-naked Franky," Usopp said, unimpressed. "Don't put me on the same level as you, weirdo."
"Haha, sure thing, no need for flattery."
"It wasn't."
"Not that I'm not enjoying all this- and loving that you're here, mon cher," -younger Sanji's eye twitched- "but you have a surefire route back, right?"
"Of course!" He pointed up at the still open portal above Sunny. "Zoro's threatening the devil fruit user to keep that open until we come back. He was actually the one to find the guy in the first place."
Sanji groaned. "Mossball's never gonna let me forget it."
"It's nice that some things stay the same." younger Zoro said, smug. "I still have to bail your ass out all the time."
"Shut the fuck up!" both Sanji's yelled simultaneously.
Usopp laughed. "He gets into his share of trouble, but Zoro, you really shouldn't say anything. I mean, just wait until you lose your-"
Sanji slapped a hand over Usopp's mouth. "They're not there yet, darling."
Younger Sanji and younger Usopp's faces darkened.
Sanji could feel Usopp pout under his hand. "You don't even know what I was going to say."
Sanji rolled his eye. "I can guess."
"I could've meant his favourite haramaki. Or one of his swords. Or-"
"Dear, there's only one thing you constantly bring up that mosshead lost. I get that he's never told anyone how it happened, but you really need to let it go."
"How can a storyteller let go of a mystery like that?? You might as well ask me to cut off my tongue right now."
"Ah, but then how would you taste all the snacks I make for you?"
"You know, I survived for two years on a deadly, man eating island with nothing but-"
Younger Usopp loudly cleared his throat. Sanji and Usopp turned to him. With his flush still very visible, he said, "You can get down now."
"Aww, but Sanji's arms are comfy," Usopp whined, nuzzling Sanji's neck.
Younger Sanji stomped towards them. "Either older me lets you down, or I-"
Sanji raised a brow. "You what? You're just an arrogant brat sailing through Paradise. No matter what you do, you can't force me- either of us, to do anything."
Younger Sanji bristled and Sanji was starting to feel like taking him down another peg, make him know his own faults before they're cruelly laid out in front of him, one crewmate disappearing after another. Usopp tugged on his collar, stopping him.
"We talked about this," Usopp said.
Sanji took a deep breath. "Yeah." He turned to his younger self. "Sorry, it's- I'm angry at myself. Not you."
"But aren't we-?"
Sanji shook his head. "Don't worry about it."
And with a few more accidental slip ups and very obvious flirting, Sanji and Usopp bid their pre-timeskip crew adieu and Sanji flies them up to the portal. Usopp definitely says something along the lines of "I'm so glad you're okay, I was really worried and I don't know what I'd do without you." and then he and Sanji share a kiss mid-air before finally going through the portal.
The portal snaps shut and most of the crew ends up hanging out and talking about what the heck just happened in a "oh huh, what an interesting event" type of way. Meanwhile, younger Sanji and Usopp are staring, mouths agape and incredibly flustered, at the spot where their older selves made out with each other.
#one piece#nemotime#sanuso#usopp#sanji#time travel au#most of this is 'eventually post-ts usopp shows up' which was an accident but im nonetheless enjoying it#post-ts usopp did NOT expect the portal to appear in the air. he walked into it normally and just started falling lmao#man this time travel shit is fun#i didnt even get into the details but yeah lmao
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sanji walking around with his hair in a ponytail and his bangs tied into a small crown braid, held in place by fork and knife hairpins
he's a little embarrassed by having both his eyebrows visible at once, but is moreso loathe to mess with his hair at all, the feeling of usopp's fingers playing with his hair lingering against his scalp.
he accepts the compliments easily, gladly going on and on about how great his boyfriend is at styling hair. usopp didn't think sanji would keep his hair like that and is suffering from all the public praise and poetry directed his way.
zoro makes some comment about a loud dumbass with nice hair still being a loud dumbass, but usopp gave it a good try. sanji asks him if he's looked in the mirror lately. they, predictably, fight about it
#one piece#sanuso#sanji#usopp#nemotime#hair shit is so fun and lovely and i love writing it#also i cant not just include zoro being annoying. its always so fun
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something something Usopp's will to live no matter what vs Sanji's tendency to sacrifice himself for the sake of others at the drop of a hat
something something relationship issues something something argument something something hours post-argument Sanji slipping into the men's dorm late at night, staring longingly at Usopp's bunk, Usopp sighing and lifting the covers for him
something something
"I want to live a long life with you."
"I know."
"I want you to be happy."
"I know."
"...I'm sorry."
"..." A kiss on the cheek. "Me too."
they spend the night together, clinging to the other tightly, just like they did last time. just like they'll do next time.
#one piece#sanuso#sanji#usopp#nemotime#didnt indicate who was talking on purpose bc tbh it could do both ways#mmmm loveeee having their whole living vs sacrificing thing making problems in their relationship. its good shit. very good angst
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Usopp briefly needing a high vantage point, so Sanji launches him into the air with "Armée de L'air: Darling Shoot!"
Usopp is not pleased with the name because it doesn't sound tough enough. (Also maybe this is something they've practiced a few times on the ship. It's uniquely suited to them because Usopp is long ranged and trusts Sanji to catch him after. Also, Sanji is very used to catching, launching, and kicking Usopp, so he knows what works and what doesn't)
(this doesn't work with the others consistently because either they don't want to/fighting style doesn't fit with it, they know Sanji won't bother catching them, and/or Sanji himself does not want to launch them if he doesn't absolutely have to [Zoro; he is fine with that])
(alternatively, this works just fine with the others, but Sanji wants it to be his and Usopp's 'thing' unless absolutely necessary)
#one piece#nemotime#sanuso#usopp#sanji#Usopp bans Sanji from crawling into his hammock for a couple nights the first time Sanji says the name in battle#he pouts and sulks about it. Usopp i mean. Sanji is being sad and pathetic about his punishment too but in a different flavour#can't decide if Sanji should just keep the name and have this be a recurring cycle with them every time they use it#or if Sanji should try new names each time that are progressively more sappy and get him even more time in the dog house#both are funny so it's a hard choice hmmm#oh Usopp's suggestions aren't good either btw. they sound cool to him (and Luffy and Chopper who were his brainstorming buddies for it) but#they are very lame. in a cute way. Sanji refuses to use any of them though#he definitely kicks Usopp's shins a bit if he starts insisting on something too much#Usopp will get all dramatic and whine about it but Sanji is basically just tapping him. its barely a kick. Usopp will still say he should#get recompense in the form of sole naming rights. Sanji kicks him noticeably harder for that#hmm. i could move this from the tags to the post but. nah
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the thing that fucks me up about zosopp is that while Zoro gets more serious and jokes around less as the series goes on, Usopp is still a little jokester. He still tells stories and plays with Luffy and Chopper- he knows when to get serious, but he also knows when to have fun.
And I bet it eats him up inside, seeing the man he loves slowly lock that part of himself away for the sake of being a strong and unwavering presence for the crew. How Zoro is constantly burdened with thoughts of how to keep the crew alive- how to best train to keep his crew alive. How he doesn't leave room for much else.
He makes room for Usopp though. For their crew- their family. And Usopp vows (hopes) to force him to make room for fun, too.
#one piece#roronoa zoro#usopp#zosopp#nemotime#just. its the funny guy x serious guy ship i cant NOT think about this#especially Post-Timeskip my god Zoro needs a good bellyaching laugh#quiet moments together has Usopp quote unquote 'trying out new jokes on Zoro' which is TECHNICALLY true#but he's not testing them out he's just trying to make Zoro laugh and loosen up more#the opposite side of this is Zoro trying to slow Usopp down with naps and also get him to focus more on the now rather than the what-ifs#they're both hypocrites but they're also really sweet#man that one zosopp anon really got me on a kick the last few hours#tbh this could be platonic too; seeing one of your best buddies like that would fuck anyone up
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the difference between zosopp and sanuso (romantic OR platonic) is that Usopp is Zoro's specialest little guy and Zoro is someone Usopp hangs out with and looks up to and hides behind when things get scary, but Sanji and Usopp are best friends. They horse around, they beat each other up, they confide their worst fears trying to one up each other. Usopp hides behind Sanji sometimes, sure, but idk, Sanji's weaknesses are more obvious (bugs, fighting women, etc) so there are times when Usopp has to stand in front of Sanji too, yknow?
Like, how do I say this, all the crewmates are equal- Usopp and Zoro are equals- but with Sanji it feels like more... comradery? Zoro's a rock in a terrible storm- even rocks tend to get weathered and chipped and worn down, but they overall stay strong and steady. He has trouble being vulnerable and there are times when the burden he's placed on himself to keep the crew safe is crushing his chest. Usopp would help with that and be very understanding, but the point I'm trying to get with that is that those moments are few and far between. So I feel like Usopp, especially after Water 7, would take Zoro's lead on something like that, and keep most of his worries to himself or only talk about them sparingly unless they're really bad and/or he can't hide them.
Sanji is like a tree in a storm; he can be strong, yes, but it feels like he bends and sways with the storm, and has more obvious breaking points. He can relate more to Usopp's struggles rather than resorting to blunt honesty that might border on callous like Zoro. And while, with Zosopp, I tend to think of scenarios with Zoro being blunt like that as a good thing- because sometimes when you're spiraling, it's nice to have someone say exactly what's great about you and shoot down all your worries with straight facts that you can't argue with- I can also see this as being a bad thing. Anxiety can really twist up your brain sometimes, you know? And despite the words, the tone could still mess someone up if they're already feeling like a burden on others in some way.
With Sanuso it's a lot more understanding and thoughtful words. It's distractions and comfort food and patience- the kind reserved for Usopp- until Usopp talks about whatever's troubling him. Compared to Zosopp, it doesn't take as long for Usopp to open up, since he's done the same thing to Sanji at times and it's more familiar to him to talk and commiserate with Sanji about his worries and doubts and such. However, there are times stuff like this has absolutely no effect and Sanji will end up at a loss, no idea what to do or how to help over the course of several days with Usopp being quiet and keeping his distance, and he'll end up working himself up about it which will only serve to make Usopp feel worse and. yeah. bit of a vicious cycle with them.
So it's like. Usopp can be weak with both of them, but since I see Sanji as the type of guy who'd be more open with his worries (at least compared to Zoro), there's less of a need to 'perform' and be his best self around him. He's comfortable around Zoro, yes, but he is constantly wanting to show that he won't be a problem to him. On the other hand, while he's more open with Sanji, and Sanji with him, they tend to relate a bit too much with each other and they both have issues with causing trouble for others and being 'deserving of love' so failed attempts at consoling one hurts the other and creates an unpleasant cycle of misery and avoidance before some other crewmate (Zoro) tells them to quit being stupid and just fucking talk to each other.
#one piece#sanuso#zosopp#long post#nemotime#does this make sense or is this the ramblings of a person who's only got 3 hrs sleep#bc thats me. 3 hrs sleep. ugh#listen okay its like. zosopp has their own growing pains to get through yknow? zoro will eventually get the whole#'oh usopp isnt as open with me bc he wants to seem tough and is also kind of doing the same thing i do. thats bad for him'#and it'll be a whole thing about making a promise between the two of them to try and be more honest with their fears and seeking help#when they need it#the sanuso thing is like. i hope i didnt mean to make it seem like sanuso is 'better' or w/e bc its just a different thing#sanuso got their own problems to sort out. 1. Sanji's everything 2. boundaries on special treatment-#i'm not gonna go seriously into this but both relationships start out not the best and get better over time yknow#also i know usopp's afraid and freaking out a lot but for this post i meant his deeper fears and insecurities#not 'i've got can't-go-on-this-island disease' lmao#the tl;dr of this post is: Usopp is more closed off with Zosopp. Usopp and Sanji have similar issues that cause problems with Sanuso.#also the way i see these ships will probably change at some point. who knows#there was a post i saw recently that was like 'hey sanuso bc romance trio were already chill with each other so sanuso became chill with#each other in an 'alone together' type of way and also they have the same issues' and i thought 'wow so true bestie' and here we are#also. man. usopp taking on / copying the behaviours of his loved ones regardless of his age is just. my jam. in a positive or negative way#maybe i'll make a post about that explaining it more. maybe
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ponder for a moment, zosanuso with Zoro realizing he likes pet names
Sanji and Usopp get together first. They are very lovey dovey and sappy because Sanji is lovey dovey and sappy and Usopp loves it, gets very swept away with it, and does his best to reciprocate. This shit is practically the bane of Zoro's existence. And that's not even getting into the pet names.
Some time later, he's got the realization that oh, huh, he likes Usopp. And oh, ugh, he likes the Cook too. And he might lament his own feelings about it, but eventually he tells them and then Zoro has two boyfriends.
And then one morning, Usopp comes to breakfast looking incredibly sleepy, and casually gives a "Morning, babe" to Zoro before taking his seat.
And Zoro finds he likes that. He really really likes it. And he's definitely showing it on his face somehow because soon after Sanji is ranting and raving about Zoro being an absolute hypocrite, because how dare he complain all this time about Sanji and Usopp calling each other honey and cher and darling, when he was just as bad as them-
Usopp is more awake now and trying not to laugh, for Zoro's sake. Zoro is very red and keeps trying to interrupt Sanji, but Sanji just talks louder over him. Zoro would start a fight, but Sanji hadn't finished serving breakfast yet and his arms are full of plates so he's forced to suffer.
#one piece#zosanuso#zosansopp#sanuso#roronoa zoro#usopp#sanji#nemotime#what other pet names would zoro like beside 'babe'? no fuckin clue#oh. maybe hed like symbolic stuff. and specifically 'mossy' from sanji#symbolic stuff would be like 'my light' 'my moon' 'my unwavering horse'#that last one is a my hero joke dw about it. its funny to think of zoro being called that and then just exploding from how much he likes it#'my tether' 'my ocean' 'my courage' stuff like that. usopp and sanji tag team zoro all the time to make him blush#theyre so like. ugh. i love this ot3 usually for usopp getting tag teamed but zoro is so good for it too#give that man some love and care STAT#also tease the hell out of him. bc it is cute and also funny
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Zoro and Usopp dating naturally means that when Zoro's not available, Sanji turns his anger on Usopp. This makes perfect sense in his mind, but no one else's. (It's because Usopp always takes Zoro's side and Sanji overhears him talking about how Zoro's soooo much stronger than Sanji and Sanji hates it)
Usopp always runs screaming of course. Sanji chases him until he tires himself out or when he has to start meal prep. Thus far, Usopp has an undefeated record against Sanji in terms of running away.
Zoro likes to boast about it sometimes where Sanji can hear, which only makes things worse for Usopp. He doesn't do it often though, since usually Usopp is mad enough to kick him out of his hammock later.
#one piece#zosopp#usopp#roronoa zoro#sanji#nemotime#can be read as Sanji being jealous and wanting to get with both of them lol
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Hey, you guys know the headcanon that Jason still has an autopsy scar?
Consider a moment in a dp dc crossover where Danny was vivisected by someone and has his own Y scar and the batfam, or at least Jason, know at this point that he's a halfa.
Ignoring the angst part, I'd like to imagine Danny seeing Jason's scar for the first time and eventually working up the nerve to ask about it. Jason says it's not a pleasant reminder (that he's died before) and would rather not talk about it. This leads into Danny accidentally hinting at having the same scar on himself (from the vivisection) and Jason just tells him he doesn't need to explain, that Jason gets it and if Danny wants to talk about it/talk about the feelings regarding it, Jason will always lend an ear, no problem.
And Danny is overwhelmed because he never had anyone to talk about it with before; he didn't want to worry his friends/make them feel bad for taking so long to rescue him and Jason speaks bluntly like, all the time, so if he says he'll always lend an ear and it's no problem? Danny just straight up starts bawling.
So they have their little bonding moment and Danny promises to talk with Jason about it eventually. And he does! He absolutely does. There are vague phone calls and overall lots of talk about feelings in the moment. Jason doesn't entirely relate with Danny's feelings sometimes, but he chalks it up to them being different people, Danny being half-ghost, not actually knowing how Danny died, etc etc
(Other times Jason can relate far far too well. Sometimes he relates so much he has to ask Danny to give him time to prevent or manage a panic attack. Sometimes he has to ask for a topic change or to cut the call short, even on his best days. It's frustrating.)
One hot summer day, the batfam decide to have a pool day and they invite Danny to come hang out.
Danny shows up, realizes pool day means going to the pool in their backyard, and has a grand old time. None of the batfam mention his scar, assuming it's like Jason's, and he doesn't mention their scars either.
It's snack time, everybody's got watermelon slices curtosy of Alfred and Danny and Jason are lounging by the pool.
Everything's great.
Someone mentions how Danny is kinda like a mini-Jason because they're both slouched against their chairs and eating in massive bites and spitting their watermelon seeds into the fire pit nearby.
Jason flips them off and Danny says "thanks, it's the vivisection scar"
And everyone goes silent.
Then they're all yelling, "THE WHAT?!"
Cue the batfam realizing very quickly that despite being pretty good at communication sometimes, they definitely dropped the ball here.
-
"Kid- Danny." Jason lowered his tone, something a bit more similar to the voice he used for traumatized kids. "You were vivisected?"
Danny raised an eyebrow. "Uh, yeah. So were you." He jabbed a thumb towards Jason's chest. "That's how you got that scar."
"This is my autopsy scar."
Danny blinked. "Oh." He blinked again, harder this time. He took in a shaky breath. "So, all that stuff you said before was a lie?"
Jason baulked. "No! No, absolutely not. All of it was true, I just thought..."
"You thought it was about my death?"
Jason nodded. "Danny, if I knew, I would've told you exactly what this scar was from immediately. I promise this wasn't a bat thing."
Danny took several deep breaths. "Okay.... Okay."
-
And then uhhh, big talk with lots of feelings and Danny ends up being given a very nice hug from Jason and becomes trapped in his arms/lap for a while like a teddy bear.
As he's falling asleep, Danny mentions having gotten his scar almost six months ago and Jason goes a little feral because he knows that Danny's been dead for well over a year and goddamnit he thought the vivisection was what caused Danny to become a halfa. But now that all the emotions have been dealt with and Danny's nearly asleep, he's reminded of the person who gave Danny his scar rising to the top of his hit list. Or beat-within-an-inch-of-their-life list, if he has to play by bat rules.
When he side eyed Bruce and saw his thunderous gaze with a cracked glass of lemonade in his hand, however, Jason thought he might have more leeway than usual.
#DPxDC#dp dc crossover#danny fenton#jason todd#nemotime#this started out as an idea for a crackfic#with miscommunication and Danny scaring the batfam shitless about the vivisection thing#and now it is angst#watermelon inaccuracies#i dont know shit about watermelons or their seeds#idk if its safe to spit the seeds in a firepit so uhhh do your research kids#long post#i love how i started this post with 'ignoring the angst stuff...' *proceeds to write angst stuff*
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consider:
post-whole cake, Sanji wants to cuddle Usopp as much as physically possible and finally marry him
post-wano, he is terrified of even touching him
Usopp wouldn't understand, of course, because how could he? (Sanji didn't tell him) Sanji was a disaster waiting to happen and he didn't want to hurt Usopp. God, he never wanted that.
So on their way to Egghead, suddenly Sanji's declarations of love are more strained. He stops finding excuses to be alone with Usopp. Actively turns down Usopp's own invitations.
Usopp himself is absolutely miserable, to the point that everyone had noticed. Sanji could see it too, clear as day, but he couldn't do anything about it. He didn't want his partner to know how messed up his body had become so he had to keep his distance and avoid any situation where he might hurt him.
Zoro takes it upon himself to make good on his promise to kill him, just for a different reason this time. He says as much to Sanji after Sanji ignored his very eloquent advice of "grow a pair and use your words". The reminder of that little promise on Wano has Sanji fighting harder and sloppier than he meant to and- well, Zoro has perfect control of his blades, but he can tell when someone doesn't care about getting hurt.
Zoro refuses to fight him despite Sanji's attempts at goading him. Declares that he won't fall for his stupid shit until Sanji figured out whatever was eating him up. He doesn't exactly offer an ear to listen, but Sanji can't fucking take his stupid attitude so he drags Zoro to the galley and barks at everyone to stay out. Then-
Then he's bawling his eyes out, sniffling and hiccuping, drool and snot running past his chin. He's gross and disgusting and he's getting it all on Zoro's robe on purpose, mind you, because the mosshead sucks and how dare he make Sanji confess his deepest fears like this.
"I don't wanna reach for a hug and suddenly end up breaking his arms!" he blubbers into Zoro's shoulder, hugging Zoro tight and gripping the back of his robe. "I don't want to lose my emotions one day and hurt him because it's funny!"
And Zoro, quiet and loosely holding Sanji, will say, "You're doing fine with me aren't you?"
Sanji just kind of. Freezes. Mechanically looks up at Zoro, his face completely blank. Takes a few moments to realize he hadn't torn through the green fabric and that if he'd put too much pressure, Zoro would've pushed him away by now.
The next moment his face lights up- a disturbing thing for Zoro to be faced with- and he's running out the door calling Usopp's name even more loud and lovey dovey than usual.
#one piece#sanuso#sanji#roronoa zoro#nemotime#Zoro doesn't regret helping him but he DOES think he's an idiot#also hehe sanji angst. wanted to add some Usopp bits but ill probably just add to this another time with it#hint: Usopp thinks it's all his fault (it isnt)#and that he should accept the eventual break up and throw his ring overboard (he shouldnt. he really really shouldnt)#idk if this would be connected to that other fic i wrote or not so either theyre engaged already or Usopp was gonna propose
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thinking about Usopp watching Sanji transform into Soba Mask and then making cracks about how he should meet Sogeking, because those two seem like such a great match. Sanji very quickly agrees and starts saying some thinly veiled declarations of love and "he is the sun to Soba Mask's moon" type stuff in response before Franky yells at them to stop flirting.
Then, post-wano, Usopp finds Sanji as they're waiting for Zoro and Luffy to wake up, his Sogeking mask behind his back, and. uh.
Usopp: so about Soba Mask-
Sanji: I destroyed him
Usopp: wh-
Sanji: I destroyed him
#one piece#sanuso#sanji#usopp#nemotime#don't get me wrong i love soba mask and sogeking stuff#but this is such a funny thought to me#Sanji: oh boy im gonna get lucky later#Sanji. later: 😶#alternatively he doesnt tell usopp about the whole mutation thing because ✨irrational fears✨ and just insists on Mr. Prince instead
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completely unrelated thought to literally anything i've been doing today:
canon Sanji getting swapped with a Sanji from a genderswap AU. key point is that everyone's p much the same personality wise
there are crises going on. but mostly for canon Sanji lmao
this includes:
Luffy still likes to walk around w/ an open shirt
Franky also still likes to walk around w/ an open shirt
Usopp, guess what, also likes to walk around w/ an open shirt
granted, Usopp at least wears crop tops sometimes
Brook looks pretty much the same except for speaking mannerisms / voice pitch; startles the hell out of Sanji bc he keeps expecting it to be his Brook until a Skull Joke comes out of those chuckling teeth
The knee jerk reaction to Robin and Nami keeps crossing wires- one moment Sanji will just register a guy in his peripheral but not who he's speaking to and cuss and complain and shit. then the realization will kick in and he'll be caught up trying to apologize, but then wondering if he does need to apologize because uh, Nami and Robin are guys here right?? and they're not his Nami and Robin, but at the same time he can't just be rude to Nami and Robin-
he ends up staring into space for a while thinking in circles about it
Zoro is now of the gender he typically dotes on
"H-Hey, Moss-chan-"
"Don't call me that"
"Right. You want a smoothie?"
"I'm not gonna fuck you."
Usopp is the easiest to dote on, followed by Chopper, Franky, and Luffy. funny thing is, aside from Zoro, none of them have complained about/refused said doting. Sanji is reassuring himself that his list doesn't mean anything. he's not falling for Usopp just because of a pair of tits. that'd be ridiculous. after all his Usopp has got plenty big tits already-
he slams his head into a wall trying to forget that thought
also. he has no outlet for any frustration/anger/overwhelming feelings because he's got his code of chivalry thing. so he can't fight Zoro and he doesn't want to fight Robin or Nami. he starts smoking more to compensate, but then he either runs out or Chopper intervenes and gets him to promise to limit his use
in short. suffering.
This Nami and Robin do notice though & while Nami very much does not want to fight Sanji on account of, yknow, not wanting any broken bones or terrible injuries, Robin on the other hand-
He knew it'd help Sanji and it'd be nice to have a sparring partner to practice the more deadly things he can do on someone who can handle it, so he's kinda like "if it'll help, i don't mind sparring"
Sanji is caught between "oh fuck yes, finally someone to kick" and "I CANT HURT ROBIN-KUN"
the sparring ends up very pathetic on Sanji's side of things- think his fight with Kalifa but without him trying to bluff and looking openly stressed- Usopp listens to Sanji's woes about it later while she tinkers on inventions lmao
Usopp is also oddly clingy with Sanji, more so than his own Usopp. However, Sanji doesn't even bother thinking about it, just happy to soak up all the affection. He always has some sort of crisis thinking about his own Usopp later though.
Zoro, and I cannot stress this enough, is a woman. a buff, sweaty, mossball of a woman.
so yeah, suffering.
fem sanji, on the other hand:
having the time of her life
proud bisexual woman going "dear god, so many hot guys- wait shit, is that mosshead"
starts getting "overly friendly" with Usopp- laying his head in her lap, playing with his hair, carrying him around, calling him pet names, making him special snacks, etc.
everyone else puts it together real quick, except Usopp. who doesn't realize the answer until fem Sanji gives him a goodbye kiss on the cheek before going to prep for dinner
The answer: fem Usopp and fem Sanji are dating
fem Sanji: he's Usopp, therefore he's my partner in this flipped world, therefore I gotta treat him right while his own Sanji isn't here
Usopp wants to tell her the truth. but also. doesn't.
he is a mix of guilt and happiness every time he doesn't speak up and gets some gesture of love from her
in conclusion: one way or another, there is suffering all around <3
#one piece#sanji#usopp#genderbend au#nemotime#fem sanuso#sanuso#<- bet you thought i wouldn't be adding that tag when u started reading huh? well think again sanuso is always on the brain#in my most self indulgent heart sanji has a Realization tm from hanging with fem usopp#& when he gets back to his usopp he kisses him full on the lips no hesitation#the other self indulgent part says sanji finally gets Something through his thick skull#and starts trying not to act so different w/ folks based on gender#fem sanji doesn't learn anything though she's just along for a fun ride lmaooo#there is. possibility for angry/embarrassing 'actually i'm not dating my sanji' reveal#or a similar 'hey maybe dont change behaviour based on gender' realization but ehhh#i just want fem sanji having a blast and basically getting a vacation from her own crew. dunno why just want that for her#also. im working on my sanusoweek stuff i prommy
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consider sanuso bodyswap where Sanji is of course "admiring" Usopp's body and Usopp is trying desperately to keep himself from getting worked up so that he doesn't light himself on fire.
Luffy and Chopper are not helping. They are in fact doing the opposite of helping. They've ramped up their pranks and are doing anything possible to get Usopp angry so that he combusts, freaks out, and then dives into the ocean to put himself out. They think it's hilarious.
Nami and Brook are Also not helping, since they're conspiring with Sanji to put on a fashion show with Usopp's body. Sanji called it "not wasting a precious opportunity to get him in something other than overalls". Usopp called it mutiny and he was gonna- dive into the ocean, holy fuck Sanji why is it so easy to catch fire?!
Best part about this is that Sanji assured him, several times, that his body doesn't get hurt by catching fire. Usopp still jumps into the ocean every time.
Robin pipes up at one point, asking if Sanji was immune to just his own flames or all flames. Sanji just kind of shrugs and said it depends. Franky, having just been leisurely watching all of this gets an idea. Would his Franky Fireball hurt Sanji's body or just give him more fire to work with?
He tries to coax Usopp into agreeing to test it out and, somehow, he manages it. Albeit, Usopp is all knocking knees and chattering teeth, a very odd sight from 'Sanji'. As part of the deal though, he can only shoot a fireball the size of his hand.
Usopp meant his small hand. The one Franky used for tinkering and fine detail work. He did not, however, clarify this.
So, when a fireball the size of Franky's big hand comes out, well. Usopp runs for his goddamn life.
It takes him a few moments- and the voices of his friends sounding distant and below him- to realize he hadn't, in fact, run to the men's quarters, but rather into the fucking sky.
And oooooh, boy he is gonna kill Sanji one of these days. Why was his body's first fucking instinct when running to go up, what the actual HELL-
Usopp lit himself on fire again.
He curses out Sanji as his Sky Walk fails in the same moment and he plummets towards the deck.
#one piece#sanuso#nemotime#usopp the first time he lights himself on fire: WHAT THE FUCK WHAY THE FUCK WHAT THE HELL OH GOD OH F-#oh ndvdggdvdv okay listen. listen. omagine Zoro's been asleep this whole time. and he misses the memo that there was a bodyswap.#and he wakes up to 'Sanji' kicking him abd immediately goes into fight mode... and then is really fucking spooked#bc 'Sanji' is blubbering about Zoro going to kill him and that he couldnt die this young and Zoro's just. Still as a statue.#Literally cannot compute.#and then 'Usopp' comes up to him. threatening him and calling him names the way he was expecting from 'Sanji'#Brook: oh dear he mustve slept through all the commotion. Zoro-san! Usopp and-!#Nami covering Brook's mouth: No wait i smell a money making opportunity#shes gonna con him. idk how or with what yet but shes definitely gonna con him#hes gonna be sooo pissed when he finds out she conned him but his usual outlet for physical violence is currently indisposed so. lol. lmao.#i like making zoro suffer idk why its just funny#wait wai what if Usopp didnt trip on him what if when he plummets to the deck he lands on Zoro lmfao#also Franky's standing there like 'Why did you dodge it?!' and Usopp is right back to trying not to light himself on fire again lol#oh n Jinbei gets roped into the fashion show stuff#where he incurs 'newbie's first debt to Nami'#damn now im thinking about him slightly concerned about all this spontaneous combustion and then Robin saying something to make it worse lol#ANYWAY MORE IMPORTANTLY the real tragedy of this post is that because Usopp's constantly worried about Combusting#it never really sinks in how blatantly Sanji is checking out his body + enjoying doing that fashion show#and because of Sanji 'enjoying the view' he never notices the brief moments where Usopp quietly does the same#before being interrupted by Luffy and Chopper coming out of nowhere wanting to roast marshmallows on Usopp's leg#okay im done were done im good its bed time gnight gmorning gday to all
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