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please-give-dd-bread · 7 months

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haii!! so um not sure what to post but like all i can think of right now is um the correlations between Dakara Boku wa Ongaku wo Yameta and Elma so um here! have a list of the different ways Elma (the album) references the diary, letters and the album it responds to

(if i miss some let me know please)

and dearest mobile users i will spare you so have a cut

edit: so @just-nonsense-bungaku said some stuff in the replies (thank you so much!) and all the songs after 8/27 (or the Nautilus MV) were written by Elma when her anger lost steam and she started to process her grief. explaining why Ame to, Yuu, Kokoro and Amy sound so different from the style she used (or copied off of Amy) from pre-8/27

and another edit: @teamsavingmyles said some stuff in the rbs, thank you thank you thank you!!! i've been thinking about Yuunagi's references recently cuz i've been working on translating both albums but i never really got around to it so yeah thanks!

edit: i just changed the order of stuff because i forgot well. each song would be written on different days, so for example Koe wouldn't refer to Kokoro, more like Kokoro was inspired by Koe and Yuunagi's metaphor for a hole in the heart

1. 8/31 & 車窓 (Shasou/Train Window)

...they're instrumentals :P (seriously i find no connection)

2. 藍二乗 (Ai Nijou/Deep Indigo) & 憂一乗 (Yuu Ichijou/Only Sorrow)

the concept of i to the power of 2 (and however that relates to Amy's feelings about Elma)

also the first kanji of both titles sound like "i" and "you"

edit: so Ai's chorus' motif is about how blurred the world is, because of Amy's tears, while Yuu's chorus motif is how transparent the world feels to Elma, now that Amy's gone

edit: Yuu takes the phrase "I don't need anything" from Hachigatsu, but for a completely different reason. i think in Hachigatsu, Amy says he doesn't need anything to show his life will ends soon, so like what's the point of anything. in Yuu, Elma says she doesn't need anything besides Amy. she just wants to hear him sing, just one more time (or something)

i mean other than that there isn't much, they sound so different

(like seriously. Ai is like TADA. TADAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA. WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-- and then Yuu makes suis sound like she's about to cry. dakede *sobbing*)

3. 八月、某、月明かり (Hachigatsu, Bou, Tsukiakari/August, A Certain Place, Moonlight) & 夕凪、某、花惑い (Yuunagi, Bou, Hana Madoi/Evening Calm, A Certain Place, Fireworks)

so first of all both seem to stem from one memory of watching fireworks in the summer (according to a summary of Letters and Diary i read some time ago)

edit: re-reading Diary and it was Memory 17

Yuunagi was the first song Elma wrote, which is why it sounds so similar to Hachigatsu (INTENSE electric guitar, softer at the verses, picks up at the chorus, drops again)

also unrelated note but Hachigatsu is by far the angriest song i can think of. at least by Yorushika

edit: one of the last lines of Yuunagi may be what inspired Kokoro, "In my heart, a hole opens"

Yuunagi also references Ai, in the line "this song has about ___ characters" and the phrase "drowning in flowers" is seen again in Ame to

4. 詩書とコーヒー (Shikaki to Koohii/Songwriting and Coffee) & 雨とカプチーノ (Ame to Kapuchiino/Rain and Cappucino)

...coffee

okay seriously though, both also sound somewhat similar to each other (but from here on out, Elma's developing her own style :DDD)

in both songs they do struggle to keep up with memories of each other, in Shikaki Amy states he forgets things like dreams, things like Elma's mouth and eyes and in Ame to Elma tries not to let anything, literally all of her memories of Amy fade away. (reminds me of the reason why Elma kept a diary for her trip to Sweden)

5. 7/13 & 湖の街 (Mizumi no Machi/Lakeside Town)

...they're also instrumentals

6. 躍ろうぜ (Odorouze/Let's Dance) & 神様のダンス (Kamisama no Dansu/Dance of the Gods)

um the titles have "dance" in them???

not sure really. in Odorouze, Amy pretends everything's fine when he's still struggling with his memories of Elma and depression and whatever and in Kamisama no Dansu Elma is PISSED OFF about the fact that she decided to follow Amy's footsteps considering his values. i mean i don't blame her i don't feel like being told i'd have about a year left to live and just LIVE AND GO DO STUFF and go to Sweden before realizing "dang. i screwed up. can't talk it back now--" *oofs self on some random dock*

oh also a discussion i had w/ nonsense-bungaku on Kamisama has changed my beliefs slightly; Elma is still mad at Amy (and herself) for following his path and beliefs but she's also kind of done trying to create music with "value" and "purpose", just creating music because it's fun, because the process of creating music is something one can derive joy from

edit: Kamisama does take a line, "名もない花が綺麗とか" ("Nameless flowers are beautiful") and a slightly altered version of the line "そんなのどうでもいいから" ("I couldn't care any less about that", being "どうでもいいことばっかだ" meaning the same thing) from Yoru Magai

Kamisama also references Yoru Magai in the lines "I keep my head down, like I'm scared" because in the verses of Yoru, in the fifth lines, Amy talks about keeping his head down, so he can't see how blue the sky is or so he doesn't understand everyone's feelings.

another unrelated note, Kamisama no Dansu is still freaking good. not that it wasn't good before but like there's something about it that i really like and would talk about until i fainted from loss of oxygen.

7. 六月和雨上がりの街を書く (Rokugatsu wa Ameagari no Machi wo Kaku/In June, I'll Write About the Town After the Rain) & 雨晴るる (Ame Haruru/After The Rain)

first of all, both of them are about rain (astute observation. round of applause.)

i do think it's really cool how Amy says he'd write about the rain in the town he stayed at but never stayed long enough to write about it, so Elma does it for him. also Elma's style has changed from where she was before, like say, Yuunagi or Koe

also Rokugatsu references Ai Nijou and may be what inspired the creation of Parade

edit: both Ame and Rokugatsu talk about this "ultramarine" which, at least to me, in Rokugatsu refers to the whole memories and the window and in Ame Ha it refers to tears

Ame Ha also references Gogatsu with the swaying curtains, and *potentially* references Hachigatsu in the line "my heartbeat rung out". potentially. if i'm looking too deep and they aren't related don't yell at me

8. 五月は花緑青の窓辺から (Gogatsu wa Hana Rokushou no Madobe Kara/In May, from the Emerald Green Window) & 歩く (Aruku/Walk)

again, not sure how these correlate. though i like how Aruku's chorus is a slowed down version of Gogatsu's chorus.

edit: ...how i didn't notice this i will never know. the frikking Emerald Green/tears metaphor.

Aruku also talks about feeling "asleep", where Elma (as she said in Ame Ha) plays dumb and pretends not to know Amy would die early cuz chronic illness and moveth to foreign country (though Amy did grow up there) and unhealthy mental state. this song and Koe also talk about Elma hating herself for doing so, but Elma and Nautilus think that her playing dumb was pretty endearing

both songs also have this feeling of being "trapped", where Amy feels trapped in this life, and the only way out is Emerald Green, while Elma got left behind and is now stuck looking for at least scraps of the person she loves through these streets

Aruku also potentially references Yoru Magai in the way Elma imitates Amy by keeping her head down, the same way as Kamisama

9. 夜紛い (Yoru Magai/False Night) & 心に穴が空いた (Kokoro ni Ana ga Aita/A Hole Opened Up in My Heart)

i think it's cool how Yoru's main and last line is "I want to open up a hole in you" and then Kokoro's is like "That's why a hole has opened up in my heart" like HOWWWWW HOW MUST YOU HURT ME LIKE THAT

also Kokoro's third line references the song it responds to, as well as Letters 6/26, "a false night, like twilight, painted the town"

also another unrelated note KOKORO NI ANA GA AITA IS JUST SO SAD AND PAINFUL. LIKE AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA LET ME CRY

edit: how none of you said this gets me. um the line "君だけが僕の音楽なんだよ"、エイミー ("You alone were my music", Amy) is literally from Ai Nijou (i mean i guess it was too obvious but whatever i'll put that in)

10. 5/6 & 森の教会 (Mori no Kyoukai/Church in the Forest)

more. instrumental.

11. パレード (Parade) & 声 (Koe/Voice)

both incorporate the concept of the God of Art which i think is cool

both are lyrically short

Koe references Yoru in the line "this heavy life is like a machine gun" and may have alluded to the metaphor from Yuunagi - in the line "what I want to draw/picture is the time that hollowed my heart" (and maybe a part of a line got re-used in Ame to Kapuchiino?? does the line "when I cry, it overflows” count???)

Koe also sounds like Parade, just in the key C#, not D

edit: in Letters 7/13, Amy said Parade was Koe

another edit: Parade is the song about the God of Art, right??? well i read @saikisser 's post on how FREAKING SAD PARADE IS AND LISTENING TO IT WITH CONTEXT MAKES IS EVEN SADDER and well Amy also thinks Elma is divine to him (because she's the one that sings the lyrics the God of Art managed to find in his fingers)

also another unrelated note but listen to Parade it's such a beautiful song i loveeeeeeeeeeeeeee ittttttttttttttttt

12. エルマ (Elma) & エイミー (Amy)

awwwwww the non-depressing songs!!! i love them sm

um they're messages directly to each other

both were the last songs each other wrote in the story

they both sound sweet and Kumo to Yuurei-esque, but slightly more upbeat (basically just similar to each other)

yeah i love those songs they're the only happy ones by Yorushika i can think of besides Haru Dorobou (which is just SPRING :DDD oooo flowers!!! they're pretty!!!)

anyways.

13. 4/10 & 海底、月明かり (Kaitei, Tsukiakari/Seabed, Moonlight)

another. instrumental. (dw this is the last instrumental)

aaaaaaaand the last one. the one we've been waiting for.

14. だから僕は音楽をやめた (Dakara Boku wa Ongaku wo Yameta/That's Why I Gave Up On Music) & ノーチラス (Nautilus)

so they were both featured at the end of their journeys. (Amy oofs himself on the dock, Elma finds his stuff a year later and cries before going home on a ship like a month later but in that month there's like no lore whatsoever so it's kind of an epilogue???)

Dakara Boku mainly is just. looking at whatever happened back then and how much Amy regrets whatever he did in Letters. he wishes he stayed with Elma cuz then he'd have a bit longer to live but well i guess he really isn't going to make it past the summer. also screaming. aaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA--

i will say Nautilus was also written by Amy, because at the literal end (just before he wrote Elma, i think. he doesn't write when he says goodbye in Letters and Diary obviously doesn't state when it was written because well Elma doesn't know) he was going about his day before realizing the day he runs out of ink draws nearer and nearer. and he hasn't even considered how Elma felt/would feel after he's gone so he wrote Nautilus as a way to say "it will be hard, but turn away from me and lift your head to the future" and that makes me cry even harder like NOOOO I DON'T WANT TO LEAVE YOU HERE BUT ALSO I CAN'T TAKE YOU WITH ME CUZ YOU TOOK THE BUS TO THE OTHER WORLD CYA

and that's it for the albums! =w=

*pathetic bowing*

#yorushika #ヨルシカ #that's why i gave up on music #だから僕は音楽をやめた #elma #エルマ #oh also also also! not related to yorushika but a few months ago i discovered tuyu #from yappari ame wa furunda ne #now i sometimes type daKEDO YAPPARI AME WA FURUNDA NEEEE randomly cuz i can #but about the song Compared Child #it escalates. like really bad.#like it starts off #ah compared child. compared child. you don't have to tell me. i know i won't ever be as good as her. please don't and leave me alone.#<- mildly irritated. she knows. you can stop comparing her. *some time in the song later*#AH. COMPARED CHILD. COMPARED CHILD. YES I ALREADY KNOW. I WILL *NEVER* BE AS GOOD. I KNOW NO MATTER WHAT I DO I WON'T GET REWARDED.#DON'T EVEN BOTHER TALKING TO ME. JUST LEAVE ME ALONE. I WISH I KNEW HOW MUCH I WOULD HATE YOU.#<- VERY VERY PISSED. on the verge of a breakdown (if said breakdown hasn't yet occurred)#anyways have a nice existenceeeeee

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heartfullofleeches · 11 months

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Yan Cheater + Cheater Reader

Yan Cheaters are funny lemme try-

Yan Cheater who sees their darling dearest out on the town alone. You should be with them, but they'll fix that shortly. You're the person of their dreams and after so many failed relationships they're happy to find the right one. On their way over, their entire world crumbles as you're seen hugging and chatting up some random with a closeness you've never showed them. The unfamiliar face slings an arm around your shoulder as you walk off together - laughing as if you were without guilt.

You heartless bitch. How could you? After they'd give you their heart - their everything. Fine, fuck you - they could do the same thing. After crying through the night and crying their eyes they hit up a past fling to forget all about you; aggravated that all they can think of as the look at their partner is features that remind them of you. They ignore your calls, block you on everything, and have the time of their life with whoever's available... And looks like you.

The first time you saw them with someone else you turned tail and ran, saving your tears for a better time and person. Good - run off. You know what you did. They won't chase you - no matter how red their heart bleeds after seeing you after so long. You meet again at a party a mutual friend left in the dark was throwing. You, for closure - them, looking for a new body to take home. They couldn't even hide their disgust as you stomped up to them, two lockets in hand.

"What the hell did I do to you...."

They scoff. Trying to play innocent? "You know what you did."

"No! No I don't! You ghost me for weeks and never seem to be home when I try to talk to you, but the second I see you, you have your arm around somebody else. As far I remember, we were happy together. What did I do to you to deserve this?!"

"Hm... I think it was roughly a month ago. You and that little whore you met outside that coffee shop that just opened."

"Coffee shop?... Wha-" Your eyes widen. Unable to control your anger, you slap them across the face so hard the blow rattles in their teeth. They clutch their jaw. You little-

"That was my cousin, asshole!"

You toss the necklaces to the ground, two sets of initials engraved on their fronts.

"You didn't even bother to ask me about it before you ran off. If you really loved me, you wouldn't say something instead of jumping to conclusions. I knew dating you was a mistake. You spineless coward."

Their tongue feels heavy, likely cut on their teeth from your blow - bleeding; just like the heart they thought they lost. In a way - they truly had.

"Couldn't get a refund since they were custom" You spit on the fallen jewelry as you turn your back to them. "Happy Anniversary."

They fall to their knees, crawling after you as you fall into the crowd - grabbing your ankle. "No, baby. Please, baby - I fucked up bad, I know, but I can make this up to you. Sweetheart please - I'll delete everyone in my phone right now, even my parents. You'll be the only one. You're all I need. Baby, see? I'm doing it - look. Look at me - I'm sorry. Angel? Honey? D- don't leave me... DON'T LEAVE ME."

You have to change your phone number the very next day from all the calls you receive from the burner phones they purchased that same night to speak their part. Jobs too - as they stand outside and harass customers since your boss refused to let them in by your own wishes - accusing everyone of trying to take you away from them. You return home one day to find your front door unlocked and before you can realize the danger you step inside - your ex waiting with a carbon copy of every gift you threw out and wearing everything you ever gave them.

"Darling... I'm wearing that shirt you bought me last Christmas. I honestly thought it was hideous - but...it came from you. I'm wearing that hoodie you thought you lost too. I lied because I wanted to have something that smells like you to keep. It doesn't smell much like you anymore. Only my tears. I'm sorry - I won't ever lie to you again. You're perfect. My sweet angel. Please...give me a second chance. I don't know what I'll do if you don't."

#yandere #yandere imagines #yandere x you #yandere scenarios #yandere headcanons #yandere insert #yandere x reader #yandere oc #yandere blurb #yandere concept #yandere drabble #tw yandere #yandere x darling #yandere cheater

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imbored1201 · 4 months

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hi! would you be able to do a teen reader x barca/arsenal (or like an individual) where they spend christmas alone without anyone knowing until they comeback, and when people realise they make it up to reader?

thanks! (and happy christmas and new years)

Mapi’s Huge Surprise

Warnings: Neglectful parents

Barcelona Femeni x Teen Reader

Word Count: 1,383

A/N: Merry Christmas everyone!

You looked at the time, 11:55 pm. About to be Christmas Day. You sighed, getting up from where you laid, to eat the rest of that gingerbread house that you built.

You hated and loved Christmas. You loved the lights and how joyful the people got, but you hated how alone you felt every year. Your parents had never acknowledged it, but they let you walk around the neighborhood to see the lights while they partied at some coworkers place.

Now that you were far from them, you wanted to do something big, but then you realized you didn't have any friends outside of the team, and the whole team were busy with their families.

You were completely alone again. When midnight hit, you decided to watch some classic Christmas movies.

—————

New Years was the same; you had also drank some wine, hoping Alexia wouldn't notice, but overall, you just enjoyed watching all your teammates stories to see what they were up to.

Your parents had called you, wishing you a great holiday and hoping it went well for you. You just asked them what they did, and as usual, they went to a party, not bothering to ask what you did for Christmas or New Years or if you would even visit them.

—————

When Alexia came back home, you were excited and clingy. You wanted to watch a bunch of Christmas movies with her. She found it cute and agreed; even though Christmas was a week ago, she even brought up the idea to make Christmas cookies.

It was probably the happiest Alexia had ever seen you. Apart from the mess, it was a fun day. A day you hated to see end, but at least you finally got to experience a Christmas tradition with someone that you knew cared about you.

—————

"So, what you do for Christmas?" Lucy asked as she bumped your shoulder. "Nothing," you shrugged, drinking some of your water. Lucy frowned at that.

"What do you mean nothing?" She asked, grabbing the water bottle from you. "I didn't do anything Lucy. I just stayed home and watched movies."

"You didn’t see your parents?" She pushed more. "Come on ladies!" Jona yelled at you guys. You quickly jogged to where the other girls were for sprints.

————

When training was over, as usual, you were the last one out the locker room, taking your sweet time. Alexia waited for you patiently, knowing if she rushed you, it wouldn't be a fun car ride for either of you.

You had lied to Alexia about your parents coming to Barcelona, telling her that they were getting a rental where you guys would stay and that they would leave after New Year's Eve. Alexia was going to her mama's house, so you weren’t worried about getting caught lying. You felt bad for lying, but you didn't want her worrying about you.

You noticed her expression, like she was thinking hard about something. "You okay?" You asked her, packing your bag. She nodded.

"We have to talk." "Did I do something? I swear, I've been on top of my work, so if my teachers told you something again, they're lying," she shook her head.

"I know you're doing good in school; your teachers have been praising you a lot lately." You smiled and followed her out to the car. She wanted to press you, but she also didn't want any awkwardness during the car ride, so she waited until you guys got home.

—————

Right when you got into the door, you tried to hurry to your room, knowing an awkward conversation was about to happen. Of course, it didn't work out.

"How was Christmas with your parents?" You froze. "Good." She looked at you, and you knew from that look that she knew you were lying.

"Don't lie to me," you winced at her tone. "Were you here alone?" You knew you couldn't lie yourself out of this one; you nodded at her question.

"Why didn't you tell me?" She asked, "I didn't want to be a bother." "You're never a bother Bebe. My mama loves you, you're practically another daughter to her." Alexia pulled you into a hug.

"It's okay Alexia, I'm used to being alone on holidays, we never do anything anyway," she shook her head. "Next time you're coming with me, okay?" You nodded, and she kissed your forehead and let you go to your room.

—————

All you wanted to do was sleep; you were a teenager, so of course it was your top priority. You groaned and shoved whoever was on top of you. You heard them laugh and smack your cheeks a bit.

You finally opened your eyes and saw Patri and Claudia with mischievous smiles. "What are you doing here?" You mumbled sleepily, closing your eyes once again. "Alexia sent us here to wake you; we have a surprise," Pina said excitedly.

"I'm too tired to get up," you told them, shoving Patri again. You felt her get off you; you got happy, thinking they would leave you alone, but of course, with this team, you would never get your way.

"Hey!" You yelled as Pina grabbed your legs and dragged you off your bed. A huge thud sounded through the apartment as you fell. Patri quickly grabbed your arms, and they lifted you up. You tried wiggling away, but it was no use. You gave up and let them carry you.

They set you on the floor in the middle of the living room, and there you saw all of your teammates crowded around the front door and the couch.

"Alexia they hurt me," you whined to her. "I told you guys to get her out of bed nicely for once," Alexia scolded them. "She wouldn't get up," Patri defended, and Pina nodded along.

"You didn't tell me we were going to have a team bonding night," you looked at Alexia offended that she didn't warn you. "It wasn't planned,” Mapi told you.

"We got these for you" Frido told you, and you looked around and realized they all had gifts. "For what?" "What do you mean for what? For Christmas kid" Lucy told you as she threw her gift at you.

You looked at her suspiciously, "go on, open it" She was way more excited than you. "New headphones!" You said excitedly, "Because you broke your other ones and cried about it the whole bus ride," she said.

Aitana was about to give you hers but got shoved out of the way by Mapi. "Trust me, when you see mine, you won't want the other ones." Everyone rolled their eyes at Mapi.

She grabbed you, and put her hands over your eyes, and led you outside. "Alexia!" You shouted, scared Mapi would pull some dumb prank on you. "I'm right here bebe" she reassured you, giving Mapi a look of confusion.

"What did you do Mapi?" Alexia told her, seeing what she got you, but Mapi just smirked. She finally let you see, and your jaw dropped. "Holy shit" you cursed. Alexia was also too shocked to even tell you off for your language.

A dirt bike.

"No" Alexia told Mapi sternly. "Yes" Mapi said back. "I love you!" you shouted and tackled Mapi into a hug.

"We can go to a trail this weekend; I have a buddy that will teach you; we just have to get you gear" she smirked and turned to Ingrid, who handed you a box.

Your smile got bigger when you saw there was all the gear you needed. Ingrid noticed Alexia's glare. "I tried to talk her out of it, but you know how she is when she's set on something."

"Come on Alexia. Look at that smile." Mapi points to you, all happy on your dirt bike, showing it off to Patri and Pina.

"If she gets hurt-" "she won't; trust me, in a week she'll be wanting to be competing" Alexia sighed, but let it be; there was no changing Mapi's mind, and you already seemed attached to the bike.

—————

Mapi was right though; you were only paying attention to the bike all day. Completely forgetting you had everyone else lined up to give you their gifts. It was truly a Christmas you would never forget.

#woso x reader #woso #woso fanfics #barcelona femeni x reader #barcelona femeni #mapi leon #ingrid engen #alexia putellas

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strwbrryeyes · 3 months

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𖦹°｡⋆ haikyuu boys as my breakup playlist

⟡ featuring: suna, oikawa, tsukishima, atsumu

⟡ cw: angst, idk still bad at these

⟡ an: i found my old breakup playlist from three years ago and took inspiration from that so these songs are old lol. writing this was silly because im in a loving relationship but it was like i felt all the pain of a breakup again </3

⟡ part two, part three

⟡ suna rintarou: you broke me first - tate mcrae

suna would be the one to break things off with you. when you first started dating he genuinely thought he loved you but as time went on and he became more distant, you started to feel like he was losing feelings for you so you asked him about it. in his words, "i think you were just the first girl to give me attention after my last relationship" and "im not ready for a relationship". a week later, he starts talking about all the girls that have come to him after the breakup and started talking about his hookups to you. this bothered you and hurt you deeply so you decided to cut things off with him completely and he was not a fan of this. so he tried everything to try to get you to talk to him again saying that he misses you and that he wants to get back together. you couldn't care less though, he's already broken your heart too many times for you not to notice his pattern of wanting your attention just to make you jealous or upset. in the end, it actually did end up hurting him and made him realize what he lost. he knew he fucked up but there's no going back anymore.

⟡ oikawa tooru: over breakfast - ellise

it's been a few months since oikawa left for argentina. it's been hard for the both of to be apart for so long and in completely different timezones. you could feel the connection fading but neither of you wanted to admit it because you both loved each other so much. but the longer you guys try to keep the relationship afloat, the more frequent you end up arguing over text or facetime. but you both decided that it could be something to figure out when oikawa visits for the holidays. well, the holidays come around and you finally have time to see each other and talk in person. from the moment oikawa entered your apartment, you both knew it was over. you could tell so many things have changed over the course of the last few months but instead of facing it, you just decide to spend one more night together just to have one final time to say that you tried. it was bittersweet and it hurt a lot but you didn't want the night to end. maybe you could fix this over night? in the morning everything will be better and you can set aside your differences! unfortunately, that morning, nothing had changed and you and oikawa finally came to terms with the fact that maybe you two just maybe weren't meant to be.

⟡ tsukishima kei: high definition - waterparks

when tsukishima was still part of the sendai frogs, he traveled a lot. it's not like he was off in another country like some of his old teammates and rivals, no, you lived with him. even though you two had been dating for quite some time by this point, tsukishima still had trouble expressing his love for you. he tended to push you away whenever he was stressed even though the one thing he wanted the most was your comfort and loving. he was just worried he would end up snapping at you and making you hate him. he didn't know that you'd end up upset with him regardless. you loved him so much but you don't know how long you could going on like this. i mean come on! tsukishima was always away for volleyball matches and even when he's home...it's like he's still not even there. tsukishima knew that you were starting to slip away from him so one day he sat you down and explained how he was feeling and it was finally then that you understood why he acted the way he did. you tried protesting his decision to break up with you but he kept insisting it was for the better. by the next week tsukishima had moved out leaving you alone in the once shared apartment, wishing and hoping he'd come back one day.

⟡ miya atsumu: better off - ariana grande

everyone knew that atsumu could be hot headed most of the time when it came to volleyball but what they didn't know is that it would sometimes affect your relationship with him. much like tsukishima, he would close himself off from you whenever he was mad at the world or whatever else there is that could make him upset. it was starting to get tiring for you. you felt like you had to walk on egg shells around him just so he wouldn't snap at you (wether he meant to or not- his mind would always fog up). towards the end of your relationship, you could feel yourself start to get numb in regards to your feelings towards atsumu. atsumu couldn't really tell at this point that you were losing hope for the relationship. if anything he thought everything was normal but that was only because half of the time he was too much into his own thoughts to notice any flaws between the two of you. it wasn't until he came home one day after an away game on the other side of japan and found that all of your stuff was gone along with you, that he realized nothing is what it used to be. he found a note from you that explained that you weren't happy in the relationship anymore and that you felt trapped. you also stated that you hope he figures out his issues and that you'll always be there for him if he needs but that right now you just needed space. atsumu spent that night crying and angry at himself for letting your relationship get to this point.

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danger-noodle-uwu · 10 months

Text

Trigger warning [mentions of killing/arguments/death/break-ups/cheating/etc]

Satan

Wrath is vengeful, wrath is destruction however this never bothered you or got in the way of dating Satan, The Avatar of wrath himself.

But as one could say, the true nature of a being could never remain under the covers. There was vengeance peering above the surface, and destruction awaiting at an unknown's doors, you did not knew.

Satan had great many contacts and to keep that up, he need to do few favors but not every favor was not-so-bloody. And lost in such an expectations of others did he forget an important day like today.

As always the day started as chaos, which couldn't have been helped either way and the blond had grown sick of that, unknown to the cause of chaos and decided to act upon the list he had, completely overlooking your smile, or the stunning outfit complimenting your figure or the day itself.

Upon this ignorance of his, you really wished face-palm. His demeanor was rather annoying, which only fueled you more to smack him. Really hard.

Today was well-planned, at least that's what you thought before dragging him away from his target and scolding him for leaving you on your own in a place crawling with demons.

Satan being the literal embodiment of wrath yet also your lover said "Get off me. I have things to do. And stop being so damn clingy." "Hey, it's your fault for leaving me on my special day!plus, there's sooo many things I wanna do toda–"

"Please shut up for once in your goddamn life!!" His sharp scream cut you off as his eyes bore into yours; eyes full of hatred and disgust as if you were a wretched grotesque placed before him.

Those words accompanied by his harsh glares was enough to make your heart shatter and knifes to be jabbed in your chest while eyes stung with tears that you pathetically hid by averting them as you asked "what did I do wrong..?"

Who knew that one sentence was enough to make those unshed tears flow and litter your rosy cheeks that he'd usually squish and fawn over but alas, all that comforted you was his back.

"Your whole being is the most ugliest!" Lies. Lies. He knew his tongue spat venom at you with words that could never be true because you're his world but the blinding rage doesn't allow him to say so and thus instead, his hand runs through golden locks out of pure frustration as he finally turned to face you.

There was something terrifying about him that very moment which made you mumble out a small "...I'm sorry..." before running off; the sharp pain in your heart only grew with him staring at you like that. It was all just too much. His wrath was suffocating you but to ruin your birthday without even remembering it.

You did didn't care for how bad your muscles ached as you ran further away from him. All that you wanted is to be alone and cry your heart out in hopes that this agony would subside yet part of you hoped that he cared and would come after you or stop you. Which never happened.

Satan has always been so...uncooperative and complicated towards everyone that it almost made him unreachable at times especially when it comes to Lucifer however today, it became different.

His face was scrunched and tense as Lucifer advised him to give you space before talking things out and perhaps getting you a gift as well for both an apology and your birthday; his body pacing back and forth in his room reconsidering things he's spoke until now, not even bothered to consider this as a special day while his elder patiently waited for him to calm down. They both how much you mean to Satan despite him hurting you and making you feel unwanted.

And would anyone look at the avatar of wrath while he's on his knees; practically begging to set things write and for you to accept his apology. However much like always, you don't fail at surprising him when your lips clumsily crash against his.

That he moment he knew how truly beautiful you are in every sense. From physical appearance to your dream-like soul. Every inch was perfect.

Asmodeus

'Touchy and irresponsible as always' you sighed looking over and frowning at Asmodeus who was so clearly lost in the seemingly endless attention they give him as their hands roam his body while he's biting his lip. He was enjoying this, wasn't he?

The thought of him being touched by somebody else made your stomach churn and eyes sting with hurt and envy; he was the avatar of lust, true but couldn't he not do this on your birthday at least and pay attention to you.

You could bet as to how pathetic you were looking drinking demonus with tears in your eyes and surrounded by demons who could just swallow you whole without your lover even batting an eye. Afterall, he'd rather be someone's bed warmer than your boyfriend.

"Hey...are you okay?" Honestly, you didn't know this stranger's name or anything about him but he still had some concern for your well-being; way more than your beloved however made you self-conscious as how pathetic you may have appeared and let your emotions get the best of you in front of unknown people.

"Yea..." you replied flushed from embarrassment and the crimson liquid that rested in your glass. It was really humiliating and made you feel awfully shy at the same time.

"If you say so, but don't hesitate to tell me if there's anything bothering you or if—" He leans closer to whisper in your ear before continuing "—someone's bothering you..." His voice was authoritative yet gentle much akin to a soft breeze from the human world despite being a demon.

"Oh! And I'm Ethan..." a blush ghosted over his cheeks as he realized that he hadn't even introduced himself while you told him yours as he gave you his number offering to help you just in case.

Truth be told, you were smiling to yourself glancing on the tissue that he wrote his number on and the fact that he even wrote happy to help made you grin wider. It was such a sweet gesture.

However unknownst to you, Asmo seemed to have noticed the whole interaction and was fuming with envy; so jealous that he could put Levi to shame. His face burned with heat and beads of sweat rolled down. He hated how that putrid demon had the audacity to flirt and blush at you yet his anger only stirred further when you smiled at him.

The avatar of lust stormed over to you and dragging you out of the fall, harsh grip on your wrist that would probably leave a bruise and then slammed you against the cold wall in the alleyway.

"What are you—!!" You were muffled by his lips smashing against yours; hands roaming your body as desire burned in your veins. Lips synced and danced against each other into a steamy make-out session however he pulled away.

"Why were you flirting with that guy?! You know that demons can hurt you then why my darling must you do this?!" It was irritating as to how he interrogated you but didn't even consider his own actions and the way he neglected you.

Did he even remember your birthday..?

"You say this as if YOU weren't smothering some random people in front of your girlfriend on OUR date!!" And finally, he realized what he's been doing all day. He was avoiding and ignoring you, too busy and consumed by his own...thoughts while you constantly tried to spend quality time with him.

"Baby...I'm sorry..." He coos gently holding your face and cradling you as tears cascaded your face. You looked so miserable because him and he made an internal promise to treat you better and not neglect your emotions.

"Y-you even forgot my birthday..." you sobbed into his soft hands as his eyes widened before he kissed you again. This time much gently and lovingly; full of adoration and affection but desperate for you.

You knew he meant it but forgiving is easier said than done. Even if you would accept him, it'd much later as for now, you wanted him to show is emotions; his real self that was vulnerable and loving; one that was guilty of hurting you. One that loved you beyond his own sin.

You would be lying if you said your heart wasn't melting for him as his hand intertwined with yours while the other rested around your waist and blush littered his face; all for you.

All of him softened just for you; all those emotions showered upon you because all of his love was meant for you.

Beelzebub

Gluttony is like a venom that spreads in your body; turning one into a hungry beast ready to devour his prey and another into a starved being—but for somebody who personified the sin in itself would be beyond a monster or an other horrendous creature imaginable.

Thus, can you really blame Beelzebub for ingesting the whole food supply of house of lamentation alongside of some cutlery after a seemingly intense workout as well 7 hours of helping satan shift his books in order to clean the empty space.

He was salivating at the sight of everything before as his vision molded it into something edible...delicious and well; in front of him were you, standing there awkwardly as his eyes hovered over you however not in a lustful but more like a locking the meat of your bones manner.

"B-beel, you alright..?" His intense gaze made you feel uncomfortable as you shifted in your place yet he didn't blink once as if his hunger overtook him...making him forget who you were.

You couldn't breathe, couldn't move an inch without him lunging at you with those eyes full of hunger for anything to satiate the emptiness within his stomach including you. However, Luck was on your side since it was your own birthday as Asmodeus happened to pass by the scene hoisting his phone up taking selfish before rushing towards you.

"Darling, Beel, what are you guys... doing?" By the end of his question, he knew what was coming. He is well aquaintated with Beel's endless hunger that violently shook the atmosphere in the whole house.

As you stood unblinking staring back at the avatar of gluttony trembling with fear whilst his ragged breaths were heard in the silence of the hall. The very next second he pounced at you transforming into his demon form; claws beared as if he was readily about to rip your heart out.

Yet somehow you were alive; alive and thrown over like a sack of potatoes on Asmo's shoulder as he sprinted towards his room with an echoing sound of certain rumbling in the background that made shiver in dread.

"Honey, you're alright. You're safe, okay? Phew!" He collapsed next to you on the floor next to you after ensuring the door was properly locked, clearly out of breath while still attempting to comfort your troubled form.

Despite knowing he cannot control his hunger, you couldn't help but tighten your throat or fall victim to the ache plastered within your chest. He loves you, you know it but this...hurt more than expected.

The clutches of gluttony were like shackles that bound him and drove him to try to...the thought alone makes you want throw up or is it because his twin succeeded at a similar task.

"Hey...Mc, don't cry, darling. It'll all be okay, I promise! Forget everything it's your birthday, isn't it?" The blond cradled you in his arms trying to shush away your tears meanwhile you sobbed and cried; planned everything, got up early to bake for him and even got the tickets to a movie he was excited about.

"It's so unfair! So unfair, Asmo!!" Why did this have to happen when all you did was try your best? Why are you doomed to fail at every given task? Was this all your fault?

Such thoughts consumed you wholly as your sobs turned into more cries that dragged Asmo's poor heart along with it; it hurt him so much to see someone he considered family be hurt so much. To be broken that they're reduced to a teary mess on the floor.

In the hallway, Lucifer and Satan towered upon Beelzebub who finally calmed down, happily chomping the food he was given; almost uncaring of his twin that laid kissing the ground with a large bruise forming on his forehead.

"W-where *chomp* is cupcake?" He muttered with a mouthful, thinking you must be hungry and not even remembering what he did as he was a puppet under the control of his sin.

"In Asmodues's room..." Lucifer sighed while Satan raged at the sight of the havoc wrecked upon his book—cursed ones, collector's edition, etc. They were everywhere torn into half or bites into and discarded afterwards.

"They must be sobbing since you were ever so nice to them on their birthday!" Satan mocked knowing how badly his brother fucked up while the orange head gushed the memories right into his eyes. Each moment he made a decision worse than the other.

"Oh my poor Mc, sleep well..." you didn't realize how exhausted you were from the whole event that you passed out between Asmo's arms who later tucked you within the comforting confines of your own bed.

But peace never really lasted long as you woke up, only to be greeted by a decorated room, a cake with several other snacks littered on the table and Beelzebub by your side with apologetic eyes as a melody played accompanied by the voices belonging to the remaining brothers.

"I'm sorry, cupcake...I didn't mean to scare you or hurt you, I just don't know what's wrong with me but please forgive me...I love you..." His eyes bore guilt as he was reminded of an older time, an older mistake before his hands caged yours affectionately before kissing them lovingly.

The orange headed demon never wished to be more than your protector, that gives away his life to save yours but also a lover that wants to build a family with you; one that he loves dearer than himself.

Belphegor

Does fate really hate you? If not, why must it be you who suffers with people misunderstanding you or blaming you for actions not performed by you?

"Come on, it's not that bad...just a stupid nightmare!" You hopped onto your feet before changing into your outfit for the day; one that made you feel good about yourself unlike the haunting nightmares that weren't leaving you alone.

As you left your room trying your best to force a smile out, there was a voice that felt familiar as it belonged to a certain great demon who bestowed the wishes of having the best birthday.

"Happy birthday, h-human!" He spoke loudly as if reminding the others of the day despite the whole hall being empty. The gesture in itself was funny, his hand putting your head like a puppy except for the part he himself looked like one.

"Thanks, mammon." And there it was your signature smile that could possibly make anybody melt, though how could you believe it; a rose can never see its reflection.

Reaching the dining hall, the atmosphere felt tense as if everyone was on edge, all but one person. He was missing entirely. Belphegor wasn't there. Was he still asleep?

Before you could ask, Lucifer announced "Belphegor will not be joining us today." And continued to finish his breakfast with what seemed to be a bothered expression.

"Hey beel, what happened?" You couldn't help wonder what did your boyfriend did this time to piss of the eldest and if so, why wasn't satan assisting the crime. "Belphi, h-he said some really mean things..." beelzebub was feeling guilty fill up his stomach, his appetite dying or perhaps killed by someone else.

"Okay..." you knew that the orange headed demon was hiding something, swallowing his own words however why you just couldn't decipher. His voice was strained that it made you feel very uneasy about what really conspired when you were asleep.

"Levi, can you tell me what really happened? Please!!" You pleaded with puppy eyes as soon as the remaining brothers had dispersed from the dining hall; to avoid the extra ears and overly exaggerated explanations.

"Normie, first off promise me you won't tell anybody that i told you this!" He whisper-yelled as you nodded your head vigorously. "Okay--fine, so belphi woke up in a super sour mood and since lucifer decided to call him to the dining hall himself...he said a lot of mean things..."

Leviathan felt a bitter taste in his mouth knowing his next words would most likely ruin your birthday and put you into doubt of your own relationship and partner.

"He spoke a lot of nonsense about lucifer, you know normie...And he--um, he said you weren't that great and just kinda wasted his time w-which is like total bullshit, right? Like normie, you're like Henry 3.0, totally cool and awesome!" He tried his best to soothe the wound he had to give you in order for the truth to be told.

But there it was, a sound of your own heart being crushed and sensation of wet tears dripping down your cheeks. It hurt you so much to hear that your lover spoke of you behind your back that you couldn't take it anymore and sprinted all the way back to your room; leaving Leviathan to only his worry and concern in the dining hall.

Especially on your birthday, that in itself felt like a cheap move being played on you as you felt needles pricking through your chest, and it hurt so much. It felt like the nightmares were true when they played the same scenario where he used you; he used you like a pawn.

Meanwhile, in the twins' room, Belphegor laid in bed with a weird feeling filling him; one that felt so heavy that he couldn't sleep it off. But why? He just couldn't pinpoint.

"Belphi, have spoken with Mc yet? It's their birthday...you should really go to see them..." the avatar of gluttony had his head lowered as he pouted; visibly hungry but at a lack of food.

"WHAT!" "Yea its their birthday, belphi..?" Belphegor panicked for at least 5 minutes before gathering himself and rushing to the kitchen to make something--a cake, should it be okay but what if you're craving ramen instead..? Or something salty? SHIT

He's never been so frantic and panicked; he felt like a single mother raising 6 children...wait why does that sound familiar? ANYWAYS, no time for that.

It took about 2 hours for the whole thing to be prepared; while he had tasked satan to buy your favorite snacks. In the end, he was drenched in sweat from the whole last minute preparation that he did.

On the other hand, you were passed out on your bed; tears dried up on your face and slightly puffy lips and very gracelessly flopped onto your bed.

Belphegor's heart ached at the sight of you, he knew his words have been heard by someone who didn't deserve them. Who deserved love and not such cruel things.

"Love, wake up...c'mon its your birthday..." He voice was gentle as if a one wrong word could shatter you like glass and his hands caressed your cheeks; before kissing you passionately.

You rubbed your eyes as your boyfriend kissed your forehead and pulled you off of the bed. He was smothering you with kisses somewhat lazily; letting eachone feel feather like on your skin.

"Happy birthday my star, I'm sorry for what is said earlier...I promise you that I never meant any of it...I just--lost myself to anger, I'm sorry." He's efforts were visible in both his voice and your room; the blanket Fort certainly seemed impressive and most likely he had your favorite movie paused.

"It's not okay to speak such things about you're partner belphi on any day let alone their birthday. Yet I am much kinder than you think...I forgive you." You pouted with fake anger evident in your voice; playing pretend was fun as hr fell for your words in the beginning but definitely caught up in the end.

And as the day came to a close, you both were snuggled into each other's warmth and cuddling; the harsh words and hot tears forgotten or perhaps changed into smiles of contentment.

Afterall, belphegor was your dark sky and you were his star; without one the other would feel empty and out of place. He was the one who wanted to drown into the depths with you or burn with the passion he held for you...And both remain a pleasure to him...

--------------------------------------

A/n; I had no ideas for belphi and was abt to write he slept that it off like he was in a coma xD

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ℍ𝕒𝕧𝕖 𝕒 𝕘𝕣𝕖𝕒𝕥 𝕕𝕒𝕪

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yuurei20 · 8 months

Text

Short translation from Twisted Wonderland: the second novel.

Post-Overblot Leona (the flashback monologue)

"I grew tired of thinking, so I decided to enroll at Night Raven College, though I had no interest in it. I knew I was just running away from the pain, but my heart felt lighter, nonetheless.

If something is far away enough, you cannot long for it.

The intensity of the sun, the scent of new leaves, the damp wind of the rainy season—it is so far away that it’s nothing but a blur, from here.

The restlessness dulls, and the pain slowly numbs. But, at some point, even that started to change.

A new pack was formed, and with it, new despair.

‘Help us,’ they said.

‘You’re the only one who can do it. Please. Just as expected of our Housewarden. Our king.'

As king, I cannot let the pack starve. I knew that, but I also knew that Malleus cannot be defeated head on. I had to come up with a plan to take him down and win, by any means necessary. Anything to win. To win. I want to win. No matter what, I want to win.

And if I don’t, if I give it everything I have and I still lose, what should I do?

‘Ah…just forget it.’

When I realized that the plan to remove Malleus had failed, suddenly, I understood.

That everything is pointless. That the future throne I desire does not exist.

It didn’t bother me as much as I’d thought it would.

It's a fool’s errand to strive for something that cannot be obtained.

I want to forget it all as soon as possible, and be at ease.

But the pack spoke eagerly about the future, with sparkling eyes.

That alone is terrifying.

It's not their expectations that scare me.

I’m scared of myself. Of how pathetic I would be if their words inspired me, so that I am never able to give up hope.

‘Weren’t we going to turn the world upside down together!?’ ‘You could take on Diasomnia, if you actually tried. I still remember that play you did three years ago!’

Somewhere in my heart, there's still the lingering hope that, maybe, I can still do it. It's an unbelievably optimistic, sweet thought, filled with wishful thinking.

Ruggie, Jack, and the others all talk about these foolish dreams that will never come true, but in the end, I'm just as much a fool as they are.

I'm not strong, I’m not wise, and I'm not loved. Is this who I am? I can't accept that.

That's the one thing I do not want to admit.

I'm utterly fed up with how unreasonable I am. Don't make me think that there might be a chance. Just let me believe that there is no point in having expectations.

I am tired of struggling and suffering for things I cannot attain.

I hate knowing how insignificant and boring I am.

People say I should try. What else can I do? I've already given it everything I have.

Maybe what I should be striving for is the strength to give up.

And that sounds like the most painful thing of all.

Ah, life truly is unfair."

#twstnovel2 #twisted wonderland #Leona Kingscholar #twst translations

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steddieas-shegoes · 1 year

Note

Nother Idea: Steve has a really bad migraine when he sees his parents for the first time post spring break from hell. He is still recovering from his injuries & his parsnts don't know how to help him. He is in tears begging his father or mother to get him Rob or Eds. And they have no clue who that is. The other parent finds a note by the main house phone and one by his bedroom phone with the names Robin & Eddie with their numbers. And they watch their adult son get coddled by a lesbian and a metalhead. Bsjsjcjdjd maybe they find out about the UD???

I TOOK A BREAK FROM PLANNING OUR WEDDING FOR THIS MY LOVE!!! You know how I feel about migraine Steve and you know how I feel about some good old hurt/comfort and how I feel about Steve's parents just being shitty always. It's like you wrote this request from MY BRAIN. It's a bit shorter than I could've done, but I am rushing out the door at this point and wanted to have it posted today in case I can't tonight. Hope you love it!!! - Mickala ❤️

-------------------------------------------------------

Luck was never on Steve’s side.

He hadn’t slept more than a few hours in weeks, his brain and body constantly running through checklists of things he had to do and people he needed to check on.

It was catching up with him in the form of the worst migraine he’s had in months.

And now his parents were home.

He could hear them talking downstairs, their voices carrying and making Steve wince against his pillow.

He managed to close his curtains when he got up to use the bathroom this morning, but hadn’t managed to do anything else. Including close his door.

He hadn’t really expected that to be an issue since he was alone all the time.

His parents hadn’t been home in nearly six months. They hadn’t even bothered to call when the “earthquake” hit.

He kept his eyes closed in hopes that they wouldn’t bother him, maybe they’d even close his door for him if they thought he was asleep.

Wishful thinking.

His dad’s booming voice was suddenly right next to him, echoing around his room and his head.

“It’s the middle of the damn day, Anne! He can’t sleep his life away!”

Steve let out a groan, burying his head as far into his pillows as he could to avoid some of the noise.

His father would give up eventually, probably call him something terrible, be disappointed, the usual. But he’d leave, and Steve could bask in the peace and quiet again.

“Do you hear me, Steven? Anne, he’s ignoring me!”

Steve groaned again as he heard his mother’s voice from the doorway.

“Richard, he’s clearly hungover. We should come back later.”

Steve loved that idea. If they left, he could try to sleep this migraine off.

“I’m not just leaving him! He has to act like a responsible adult someday, Anne. We don’t pay for this house for him to spend his days hungover in it.”

“Not hungover.”

Steve’s voice was muffled against the pillow, his head pounding with every movement of his lips, but he knew he had to at least try to stick up for himself.

“So you’re just a useless sack in the middle of the day on a Thursday for no reason, then?”

Steve let out a whine at the sharp pains shooting through his head.

“Eddie. Call?”

Words were hard when your head was trying to implode on itself.

“Who is Eddie? Is that the person who got you drunk? I will not be calling this Eddie person, and I expect you to be up, showered, and dressed by the time we are back from our business dinner. Do you understand?”

“Robin.”

“Isn’t that your girlfriend? Is she responsible for this?”

Steve wanted to scream that the people responsible for this were dead or Russian spies who were hopefully dead and no thanks to either of his parents, he often spent days like this.

Not as often since he practically had Robin and Eddie living with him, but enough.

“No. Eddie.”

“Eddie isn’t your girlfriend.” Anne was closer now. “Do you need medical attention? You’re not making any sense. Oh goodness, Richard, maybe he’s having a stroke.”

His side was pulsing. Eddie said his did too sometimes, a casual reminder that they’d been nearly eaten alive. The pain wasn’t nearly as bad as his head, though.

He needed to get to his phone so he could call Eddie.

Eddie knew what to do to help. He wouldn’t be scared of his parents.

Just as he started to move his head so he could try to roll out of bed, he heard his mom speak again, much lower, probably directly to his dad.

He had extremely sensitive hearing when he had migraines, though, so he could still hear what she was saying.

“This note has those names with phone numbers. Maybe we should call them?”

“It’s just a hangover. He has to man up.”

“It just seems like more than a hangover. He’s in real pain.”

“You do what you want. Coddle him if you must. I have a business dinner to get ready for.”

He heard his father leave the room, but didn’t bother moving.

His mom was suddenly talking into the phone.

“Is this Eddie? Yes, this is Anne Harrington. Steve’s mom, yes. He had your number written down by the phone. He’s asking for you and he seems to be quite hungover. It’s not? Oh. Oh. Okay. Well, could you come keep an eye on him, then? I would appreciate it. I could pay you.” Steve heard yelling on the other end and tried to smirk, but his face was in too much pain. “Okay, see you soon.”

“Steve? Eddie’s coming. He didn’t want any money or anything to sit with you, but I’ll leave some on the counter just in case.”

“Loves me.”

“What was that?”

Steve turned his head to the side so he could say it again, emphasize to his mother that people actually loved him.

“He loves me.”

He was met with silence, but he was happy about it, his head still finding new ways to hurt even after 100 migraines.

His mom left the room, but he knew Eddie was coming, so he rested.

When he woke up, Robin’s hands were in his hair. She was gently combing through it, from scalp to ends, being careful to avoid any tangles that may have been hiding.

“Robs.”

“Hey Dingus,” she whispered, knowing he couldn’t handle normal talking voices when it was this bad. “Gave Eds and I quite a scare having your mom call, you know.”

“Sorry. Couldn’t.”

“I know. It’s okay.”

“Eddie?”

“He’s downstairs giving your parents the riot act while he unloads groceries. He’s pissed.”

“At me?”

“No, never you. He’s got your extra strength pain meds that you were out of though.”

Steve had forgotten to get more last time he went to the store and he admittedly wouldn’t be this bad off if he had them ready to go when he woke up this morning.

But Eddie always took care of him and Robin always took care of him, and he was allowed to not have to do everything for himself anymore.

“It’s like you don’t even care that he’s hurt because of fucking government conspiracies!”

“What the hell are you talking about?”

Robin’s hand froze as they listened to Eddie and his dad go back and forth.

“The Russians almost killed him! Where were you? Not fucking here! The monsters almost killed him! Where were you? Probably on a business trip or whatever it is you rich fucks like to do with your time that should be spent checking in on your son.”

“Oh boy,” Robin slowly started to get up, causing Steve to whimper. “I’m gonna send him up here to cool off. Just breathe.”

So he did. He breathed in, then out, in, then out.

He did that until he felt Eddie’s hands in his hair, lips on his forehead.

“Hey, sweetheart,” he whispered against his hair. “Brought you some water and meds.”

“Yelling?”

“They deserve it. But don’t worry about that right now. Just take these pills and sleep. I got ya.”

“Got me.”

“Yeah, sweetheart, always got you.”

He could hear Robin yelling downstairs now, but he didn’t focus on it, following Eddie’s advice and sitting up just enough to swallow the pills and half a glass of water.

As he fell asleep, he heard Robin whispering to Eddie.

“He’s got us, at least.”

“Yeah, he does.”

#steddie #steve harrington #eddie munson #stranger things #robin buckley #platonic stobin #steve's parents suck #migraine steve again i know okay #but it's just so gd good #soft and protective eddie #soft and protective robin #requests

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notmorbid · 5 months

Text

garden of earthly bodies.

dialogue prompts from garden of earthly bodies by sally oliver.

do you think this is a mistake?

i think you should say you changed your mind.

do you remember what we talked about?

i have endless stores of self-pity.

i feel less awful than before.

you're allowed to lose it now and again.

i don't mean to be horrible.

you can't adopt someone's pain to dilute your own.

stop being smart with me.

you'll give me a heart attack one day.

you're pushy.

life has a way of revealing the truth to you before it occurs.

how come you haven't said anything?

i wish you'd take things more seriously.

i wish i knew when i was going to die. then i could be ready for it.

i'm relieving you of your conscience, alright?

i don't want to write about it. i don't owe that to anyone.

nobody has seen your face in half a year.

i had a strange dream in the night. you were in it.

you probably won't remember most of it.

you need to look out for yourself. nobody else will.

can you stay in my room tonight? i don't want to be alone.

there's no point in being secretive.

you can't shut everyone out. one day they won't bother.

i don't think i'm really in myself.

i miss you all the time.

are you in any pain?

i'm bored of waiting for everything.

you're almost smiling again.

think more of yourself and less of others.

don't give away your thoughts. you won't get them back.

you don't have to say anything if you don't want to.

i wanted you to love me the same way i love you.

do you believe in god?

what can you not tolerate in others?

what is the quality you least like about yourself?

i love my parents, but i've never understood them.

this is the most alone i've ever felt.

i have to find something to wear.

hospitals manage despair, not disease.

it helps if you're stoned. only, don't do that.

i don't want to leave you if you're so unhappy.

watch the road, not me.

do you visit cemeteries often?

female comradeship is its own religion.

don't pull that sad, serious look you do.

i'm running out of ways to procrastinate.

i could like anything about you.

i wonder if you'll ever hate me.

life is too long and too brief.

i was always going to come home again.

you don't look like you.

you'll get back to feeling like your old self. just let it happen.

i don't even know what it means anymore. to 'be myself'.

i know who you are. i just can't believe it.

i'm not going to make this easy.

nothing is ever as sinister as you think.

i can tell something's not right.

we'll move at your pace.

i miss who i was. i don't feel like the same person anymore.

a life can end and not be over.

you had me. what about me?

#rp meme #rp memes #sentence starters #ask memes #inbox memes #ask meme #horror meme #families

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dearmura · 9 months

Note

heyyy can i request a riki fic where yall argue and u ignore him but he tries realll hard to make it up to u?? tysmmmm

all that matters

☆ cw. she/her pronouns used to refer to reader

☆ pairings. idol! riki × fem! reader

☆ genre. established relationship, fluff, a little angst (they make up in the end dw), misunderstandings

☆ synopsis. when you refuse to talk to riki after a disagreement, he can't stand it, doing everything in his power to make it up to you

🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤

you have the reached the voicemail of nishimura riki, please leave a message after the tone *beeeeep*

rolling your eyes, you lock your phone, throwing it across your bed with a humph, curling yourself into a ball as you sulk under your blanket. as per usual, it was late at night, way to late to stay out, and riki was still not home from practice. a few texts sent to the other members suggests that practice ended hours ago, yet, riki stayed much later, like always

you appreciated his hard work, you really did. but was it so wrong to miss one's boyfriend? to want to spend time with him? it sure seemed like it to you, considering his empty promises everyday of coming home early, which he never seemed to fulfill

just as you were about to sulk further, you heard keys just outside your door, jolting you from your thoughts. though you were mad, in the end, you still missed him and couldn't resist greeting him, albeit, ready to scold him

slowly creaking the door open, riki assumed you were asleep by now considering how late it was but was instantly proven wrong when he was greeted to a fuming y/n tapping her foot, arms crossed

he knew he was screwed

"hey, angel~ why are you up so late? you didn't have to wait for me you kn-"

"don't 'angel' me, nishimura. I should be asking you that same question, now shouldn't I?" you interrupt, not giving him the chance to sweet talk his way out of this one

"y/n..." he continued, your name feeling weird as it rolls off his tongue, not being used to calling you anything other then a term of endearment

"I'm sorry, I really really am, but I have a comeback just around the corner and that's my priority right now" he tries. though, judging by your reaction, he assumes his words weren't the best articulated. you scoff

"more important than me? you didn't even bother to answer my calls. and don't even try to say you were busy, nishimura. I know practice ended hours ago" you knew you were being a little immature, but you couldn't think straight, fed up with ignorance

"baby I-" "just leave me alone. it's not like you care enough to prioritize me anyway" you spit bitterly

he tried to approach you but you just pulled away, needing a moment to yourself. in the heat of the moment, you walked away, leaving the boy dumbfounded as he watched your figure slowly reach rather and rather away from him. as you reached your room, you slammed the door, sliding down the wooden frame as tears brimmed in your eyes. you knew you were being dramatic but your mind was too clouded by emotions to even care

finally snapping out of his thoughts, riki quickly followed after you, only to be met with the door to his face. the quiet hitches of your breath from beyond the door made his heart break and mind go into overdrive, absolutely hating himself for being the reason you were in that state. as he tries to reason with you, you only pull away further, needing a moment to collect yourself, leaving him feeling what he could only describe as empty

he couldn't be upset with anyone but himself. he knew he was in the wrong for neglecting your feelings and needs in favor his work. he knew you had every reason under the sun be mad at him right now. but he couldn't deny how much he wanted you in his arms right now, showering you with kisses and being lulled to sleep by your little snores. in respect of your wishes, he painfully parts from the door, a tear slipping down his cheek as he lays on the couch. as you sulk to yourself, you don't even realize your boyfriend just in the other room crying himself to sleep, drowning in guilt and self loathing

✧

the next morning, you wake up with a pounding headache, reminding you of your tears the previous night. with a clearer mind, you reminisce of how dramatic you were being and feel a pang of guilt when you see the boy not sleeping beside you. groggily, you shuffle out of bed and into the kitchen to search for the boy, but he is no where to be seen. the thought of him heading to practice this early saddened you just as it did before

with a heavy sigh, you opened the fridge door, searching for something to eat when the front door opened. at this point, you were fed up with his audacity. the fact that he knew you were upset and didn't even try to reason with you, only continuing to make the same mistake again. not even wanting to bother with him, you storm back into your room before he could reach the kitchen

unbeknownst to you, the boy walked in, a devasting smile on his face as he held a bouquet of flowers in his arms, a DVD of your favorite movie, and your favorite snacks, waking up extra early to head to the store as soon as it opened. as he searched the house, his shoulders dropped when you were no where in sight. knocking at your door, he tries to keep a cheery mood but is slapped in the face when you don't even want to talk to him

at this point, his emotions got the best of him and he couldn't hold back his tears. sliding down the door, he drops down to his knees and sobs, utterly disgusted with himself

just beyond the door, you hear little sniffles and whines. though you were upset, he was still your boyfriend after all. worrily, you open the door and your eyes are met with a slumped riki with tear-stained eyes, disheveled hair, and a tear soaked shirt. looking up, he only sobs more

"I-I'm so *hiccup* sorry, angel. I know I'm a horrible *hiccup* boyfriend. p-please don't break up with *hiccup* me" his voice breaks as he offers you the bouquet of flowers, the DVD and snack bags scattered behind him

seeing his state only brought you to tears. wordlessly, you dropped to your knees with him and embraced him a tight hug. the warmth of his hold you missed oh so much brought you indescribable comfort

"no I'm sorry for pushing you away, my love. and I would never break up with you" you reassure him, feeling his hold tighten around you. face emerging from the crook of your neck, he manages to whisper out

"I'm sorry I was so *sniff* selfish and didn't prioritize y-" "shh shh shh, it's okay baby. I understand. you're with me now, that's all that matters" you massage his scalp, placing little pecks here and there, successfully calming him down

"now let's watch this movie" you reach for the DVD laid behind the boy, giving him a smile

"and I call dibs on the Takis" you state matter of factly, making him giggle, ruffling your hair at your cuteness

"it's all yours, princess"

fin

#enhypen #enhypen fluff #ni ki enhypen #niki fluff #niki x reader #niki x you #nishimura niki #enha x reader #enha imagines #ni ki #niki soft hours #niki #niki enhypen

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kiarastromboli · 3 months

Text

Teach me 5 (Chris Sturniolo x y/n)

Part.1 Part.2 Part.3 Part.4

Masterlist.

Warning: angst, mention of selfharm, arguing.

Summary: After a challenging party and a disagreement with her mother, Y/N finds herself alone, confronted by her darkest thoughts. She hits rock bottom, but something prevents her from taking irreversible actions.

Note: This part will address sensitive subjects such as depression and self-harm. If you're not comfortable with these topics, please do not read. I want to emphasize that my intention is not to romanticize distress or depression. If you're struggling and need help, there are people around you. My DMs are open for anyone who feels the need to talk. You are not alone. 🫶🏻

•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•

How could I be so stupid, even though my parents warned me about boys like Chris?

Liars, manipulators who can't control their desires and needs.

And I, like the naive and innocent little virgin I was, fell for it.

I fell for it, and I believed it for two years, believed it to the point of tearing my fucking heart out of my chest.

I can't believe I could be so damn foolish.

Is this what being blinded by love is like? Is this what it's supposed to mean?

Is that why they keep lecturing us teenagers that we don't know what real love is?

If he lied to me that night, then it means he lied to me every other night.

If he truly loved me as he claimed, he would never have dared to do such a thing to me.

How could he look me in the eyes and tell me all those bullshit while he was already dating another girl?

I thought he was honest and sincere; he had the same look as the first time he said 'I love you,' and now it all seemed like a fucking lie.

I knew that sleeping with him that night wasn't supposed to mean anything, and since we were supposed to remain friends, it's not the fact that he's with another girl that hurts me.

It's the fact that he lied to me, making me believe I was the only one in his heart.

I was warned about him; Julia told me to be careful, and even my father told me it was better if I went to the other end of the country to cut contact with him.

But I didn't want to believe all that because I was charmed by a few kisses and conversations that I thought were meaningful until now.

I wish it were just a lie, but that night, just before leaving Julia's party, I saw Tess and Chris kissing in the middle of the crowd, and I felt like I was going to die of heartbreak.

He was kissing her right here in front of everyone, which means he didn't even bother hiding it from me anymore.

Was it a way of getting back at me for what i did ?

Why did he make me believe he didn't hold a grudge against me? Why did he play with my fucking heart like that?

I was so ashamed that I didn't even bother explaining the situation to Julia; I went home and locked myself in my room.

Waking up this morning, I saw a ton of missed messages and calls from Julia. Shit, I didn't think to tell her I was leaving; she must have been worried...

In addition to feeling like shit because of Chris, I naturally had to wake up with a hangover.

I'm pathetic, this whole story is ridiculous.

"You came home very late last night; I thought you'd be back today," my mother said, arms crossed, upon seeing me enter the kitchen.

Great, now I'll have to face her, and judging by the expression on her face, I suspect our conversation won't be pleasant. That's just what was missing!

"I didn't feel very well last night; I preferred to come home," I told her, opening the kitchen cupboard to take a mug.

"Did you drink?" she asked, exhaling.

"Mom, I told you it was a party for my return, and-" I barely had time to finish justifying myself; she had already resumed speaking.

"I thought you had changed, that you had improved, but I see it's worse. How do you think your father will react to this, y/n?" she said, distressed.

I sighed before she could speak again. "Seriously, y/n, do you think it's an appropriate way for a young woman like you to behave? Have you thought about what people will think of us seeing you like this?"

"Damn, don't you ever get tired of bringing everything back to you?" I snapped, and she jumped at the sound of my raised voice.

"My whole fucking life, I played the role you wanted me to play, and I never complained!" I said, furious.

"You sent me to the other end of the country without even giving me a choice, forcing me to rebuild my life and leave the people I love!"

"Do you have any idea how challenging it is to be your daughter, Mom? Do you know what it's like to have this kind of education when you grow up around normal parents and teenagers?"

"Yes, I made some mistakes, and you never-" I paused, letting out a fake laugh. "Never failed to remind me!"

"But all the good things I've done, all the good grades, all the people I've helped, everything I've done to please you and help you, you've never commented on that," I said, disgusted.

"You never congratulated me; you never said you were proud of me. And no matter how much effort I put into it, I was never enough for you or Dad!"

"I hid behind this role of the perfect little girl. I hid all my pain and kept my head high, hoping that one day you would be proud. But the truth is, you'll never be because you don't love me. You love the girl I pretend to be, but you hate the girl I am!" I said before leaving the kitchen in tears to lock myself in my room again.

This day couldn't get any more horrible than it already was.

My mother tried knocking on my door, but I stayed there in my bed.

I didn't want to face her anymore; I didn't want to talk to her. It was already hard enough.

Why was my life so chaotic? Why don't I deserve happiness?

Why do things always have to get worse?

What did I do wrong to deserve this?

I didn't even know who I was and what I was supposed to be.

At that moment, I would have given anything to go back to the other end of the country, far from my parents.

But I knew that there, I would have given anything to come back to Boston, close to those I love.

I was lost and alone.

I had no one to share my pain with and no one to hug.

It turns out the only person I might have wanted to embrace was just a liar and an opportunist.

I wrapped myself in my blanket, closed the curtains, and turned off the lights.

I spent the day like that without moving a muscle.

Night came, bringing darkness with it.

Activity on the street outside my house diminished, giving way to silence.

My mother had given up and stopped knocking on my door.

My tears flowed and rested on my face until they turned cold.

I didn't know how long I had stayed like that, but I knew it was a long time.

I kept thinking about all the things I might have done wrong in my life.

I searched for the reason why everything was going so wrong.

Was it because I wasn't grateful enough to have a roof over my head?

Was it because I had been a spoiled child?

Was it because I didn't make enough effort?

Was it because I wasn't a good enough friend? Or a good enough daughter?

Was it because I am a bad person?

Am I a bad person?

Is it legitimate for me to feel this bad?

Am I not exaggerating?

After all, there are worse things in life, right?

People are dying out there, losing their loved ones, and I'm crying because a boy lied to me?

I'm crying because I'm just an unloved child?

A child who only wants to be recognized and appreciated.

What did I do wrong, damn it?

The more my thoughts chained together, the harder it became to breathe.

I had a weight in my chest, and I could feel it deep inside me.

I had cried so much that my sinuses hurt, and my eyes were swollen.

It was hard, so hard. What was I supposed to do?

How was I going to be able to continue living with this weight on my chest?

Dark and obscure thoughts took over my mind.

Thoughts that I was ashamed of, thoughts so awful that I couldn't bring myself to recount them to you.

I wanted to do something bad; I got up and grabbed the blade from my pencil sharpener on my desk.

And before I could reach my bed again, I was interrupted by my window opening.

I turned around in shock, falling face to face with Chris. Damn it, why did he always have to do that?

The blade slipped from my fingers and fell to the floor at that moment.

"Shit," I whispered, quickly bending down to retrieve it.

"What's this?" Chris asked, eyebrows furrowed, pointing at my closed hand.

"Chris, get out of my room right now," I told him sharply.

He scrutinized my face for a moment before speaking again. "Were you crying? Y/n, what's wrong? What are you hiding in your hand?" he asked, concerned.

"It's none of your fucking business. Just leave; I don't want you here!" I said, feeling anger rise again.

"Wow, I haven't done anything. Why are you talking to me like this? Seriously, I'm getting worried. What's going on?" he asked, confused, approaching me.

On reflex, I put the hand holding the blade behind my back when he reached my level, only making him more worried.

"Chris, I'm warning you; I'll call my parents if you don't leave my room now!" I panicked before he grabbed my arm.

"What are you hiding, Y/n? Open your hand!" he said, getting angrier and trying to open my hand.

"Chris, stop – let go of me, stop!" I said, succumbing and crying when he started overpowering me.

I tried to struggle, but he had much more strength than me. It didn't take him long to open my hand and find the blade.

His expression changed; he furrowed his eyebrows and looked up at me.

"What were you doing when I came into your room?" he asked, well aware of what my answer would be.

Tears started flowing again, and this time, I was filled with shame. I couldn't even bring myself to speak, so I just stood there, looking at him with teary eyes.

"Y/n," he said in a fragile voice.

"Why?" he asked, his gaze sad.

"Chris, I want you to leave," I told him amid my sobs.

"No, not until you explain why," he said, shaking his head.

I lifted my head before taking a deep breath to try and stop my tears.

"And why don't you explain your little story with Tess then!" I told him, changing the subject.

"Wait, are you serious, y/n? Don't change the subject," he said, completely confused.

"Chris, what I was about to do is none of your business anymore, not since the moment you lied to my face, making me believe I was special to you," I said, pushing him away.

"But what are you talking about, y/n? I never lied to you," he said, shaking his head.

"Then why didn't you tell me you were with her!" I raised my voice.

"What?" he said, even more confused.

"Chris, I want you to leave; I don't want to deal with this shit right now," I said, turning my back to him.

"Y/n, I'm not fucking dating her. Where did you get that idea?" he said, placing his hand on my shoulder, trying to turn me around.

"Why do you keep lying, Chris? She came to ask me to keep my distance from you, emphasizing that you two are together!" I told him, turning around and brushing his hand off my shoulder.

"Do you really believe that nonsense?" he said, furrowing his eyebrows.

"I saw you kissing her," I said, clenching my jaw and trying to hold back my tears.

He opened his mouth to speak but closed it again, taking a step back.

I sighed. "Damn it, Chris, you're such a jerk," I said, shaking my head.

"Y/n, it's not like that. It's really not what you think," he began to try and justify himself before I cut him off again.

"It's not what I think?" I said, raising my voice and eyebrows.

"Oh, so your tongue wasn't in her mouth?" I said, crossing my arms.

"Y/n, I know it can be misleading, but..." he began to try and explain before I cut him off again with a laugh.

"Misleading?! Chris, seriously?" I said, biting my lip.

"Please, let me explain, y/n," he said, grabbing my hands, but I didn't let him. I pulled back.

"I don't need you to explain, Chris; it's very fucking clear," I said, nodding my head.

"Y/n, please," he said desperately.

"Get out, Chris," I told him sharply.

He looked at me with furrowed eyebrows, not moving.

"For God's sake, just get the fuck out; I want you to leave!" I screamed, pushing him.

"I'm not going to leave you alone when you were about to hurt yourself, y/n. You can be as mad at me as you want, but I won't leave this room until I know you're safe," he said, standing his ground.

"Oh, now you're worried about me?!" I said, laughing.

"You're getting yourself worked up over nothing. I haven't done anything wrong, y/n," he said, looking me in the eyes.

"You'd rather believe some girl you don't even know over me. You won't even give me a chance to explain!" he said, waving his hands.

"Because I don't want to listen to another one of your lies, Chris. I'm too tired for that!" I told him, breaking into tears.

"But I'm not lying to you, y/n. Trust me!" he said, advancing towards me.

"I can't. I can't. I'm not strong enough for that. I don't want to take the risk of sinking even lower!" I confessed.

"Is it because of me that you were going to do that?" he said, pointing to the blade that now rested on my bedside table.

I looked at him, eyes soaked and throat tightened.

"Oh god," he whispered, running his hand over his face.

"I'm so sorry, y/n, if I made you believe I wasn't sincere, but all this is just a mistake. I'm not dating Tess," he said, taking my hands.

"I slept with her for a long time, okay, I won't lie to you. I was sleeping with her before we got together, and when you left, I turned to her right away," he began to explain, and I just listened.

"I was a jerk to her. I made her believe it could work between us to keep her under my control, even though I knew we would never be together," he said, and I could hear the disgust in his voice.

"When I got myself together, I stopped everything with her and tried to apologize, but she kept resenting me. She knew what you meant to me; that's why she didn't waste a second to come and tell you those lies," he said, and I sank down, sitting on my bed.

"Y/n, I'm not proud of what I did. She didn't deserve that, and it's not an excuse, but when you left, I was in such a bad place that I hurt anyone who came near me," he said, sitting next to me.

"I haven't lied to you once," he said, placing his hand on mine.

"I'm sorry, y/n, believe me, I really am. I didn't want you to end up like this. I should have told you that night, but I was too ashamed," he said, looking into my eyes.

"And why did you kiss her then?" I asked, wiping my tears.

"Because she threw herself at me; I was completely wasted. By the time I understood what was happening and detached her from my lips, there might have been enough time for you to see us. She probably waited until you were around to do it," he told me.

I looked at him without answering; I was hesitant. I didn't know if I should trust him or not.

"Y/n, I know it sounds far-fetched, but I swear it's true. You can ask anyone; I never dated her," he said, trying to be as convincing and reassuring as possible.

"Chris," I said, lowering my head, "I don't know if I'm supposed to believe you. I don't know if I should trust you or not."

"It's the truth, y/n, I swear. You can ask anyone. I would never do anything to hurt you," he said, squeezing my hand.

"I need time; I don't know what to think. I don't know if I should believe you or not,"

"I'll give you all the time you need," he said, nodding.

"You should rest; it's late, and you really look tired," he said, getting up.

"I'll take this with me," he said, picking up the blade from my bedside table before heading to my window.

"Chris!" I said before he left my room, and he turned around.

"Yes?" he replied.

"I don't want to be alone," I said, letting a tear fall, "Can you stay with me until I fall asleep, please?"

He took a deep breath, "Y-yeah, of course," he said, moving closer to me.

He grabbed the chair from my desk and placed it next to my bed before sitting down.

I slipped under the sheets of my bed, whispering to him, "Thank you, Chris."

"Don't thank me; it's the least I can do for you," he said with a weak smile.

Silence filled the room for a few seconds before I spoke again.

"It wasn't just because of you, you know?" I said in a weak voice.

"Do you want to talk about it?" he asked, leaning towards me.

"I had a fight with my mom," I told him, and he nodded, signaling me to continue.

"And for the first time, I told her what I really had on my mind," I continued, sitting up against my headboard.

"I said things to her that I had never had the courage to say before, and when I went back to my room, everything hit me," I said, unable to control my voice, which occasionally broke.

"I found myself alone with my thoughts, and I started to wonder why all this was happening to me," I continued, waving my hands.

"I got lost in my own head; grief took over, and I felt this horrible weight on my chest," I said, letting a tear fall and placing my hand on my chest.

"It hurt, and I didn't know what I was supposed to do. My thoughts were screaming awful things at me, and I struggled to breathe; I felt suffocated," I said, shaking my head, and more tears began to stream down my cheeks.

"And for a brief moment, I thought that by inflicting physical pain on myself, it would get rid of all these bad thoughts," I said before biting my lip.

"I just wanted it to stop; I wanted to distract my mind. I didn't want to hurt myself, but it felt like the only solution," I said, trying to wipe away my tears.

"And now, looking back, I realize how stupid and awful it was. I don't know what came over me; it was like it was stronger than me," I added, hitting my mattress with my arm.

"I just wanted it to stop; I wanted to feel better," I said, shaking my head, and he took me into his arms.

I was so carried away by my emotions that I didn't even notice he was also crying.

"It's over now, y/n; I'm here, okay?" he said, holding me tightly.

"I'll chase away all those bad thoughts of your head for you if you want," he continued to say.

"It's going to be okay, I promise you," he said, gently stroking my head.

"I can't figure out what the hell is wrong with me," I told him, crying against his chest.

"I played a role for so long that I don't even know who I'm supposed to be," I said, clinging to his shirt.

"You're allowed to be lost; we all go through that. You'll eventually figure out who you really are; you just need to give yourself time," he reassured me.

"I know who you are, and I assure you that the person you are doesn't deserve to inflict so much pain on themselves," he continued to say.

"I just wanted to please them," I said, crying.

"Your parents?" he asked, and I nodded.

"If your parents don't love you for who you are, then they're really assholes. You deserve better than that," he said. I left his arms, wiping my tears.

"You're an amazing person, y/n, and it breaks my heart to hear you say that because you shouldn't have to beg for your parents' love, and it's just not fair," he said, caressing my cheek.

"In their place, I'd give you all the love in the world; in their place, I'd constantly tell you how proud I am of you because that's what you deserve," he said, looking into my eyes, and I couldn't help but cry.

"Thank you, Chris," I said, lowering my head.

"I'm sorry that life throws so much crap at you. If I could take away all the pain from your heart, believe me, I would," he said.

"But right now, what you need is to rest," he added.

"And I won't leave your room until you fall asleep, I promise. I'm here; you're not alone. I'm watching over you," he said, yawning.

"You're tired too," I said, smiling slightly.

"Yes, but I can wait," he said, returning a smile.

"You can sleep with me if you want," I told him.

"I don't know; won't your parents freak out?" he said, furrowing his brow.

"Not if you leave before they wake up tomorrow," I said, shrugging.

"Please, let me do this at least for you; you need to rest as much as I do," I added.

"Okay, um, do you want us to sleep in the same bed?" he asked timidly.

"You can sleep on the floor if you want, but it wouldn't be the first time you and I share a bed," I said, scratching my neck.

"Yeah, but the other times we shared a bed, y/n, it wasn't for sleeping," he said, rolling his eyes and chuckling.

"Do you think we wouldn't be able to share a bed without getting intimate?" I asked, crossing my arms.

"No, that's not what I meant. I—," he said, embarrassed, before I cut him off.

"It's okay; I'm joking. Stop being silly; come here," I said, lifting the blanket to signal him to lie down next to me, which he eventually did.

Silence filled the room, and it was a bit awkward. Chris kept tossing and turning, so I eventually spoke up, "Are you going to stop fidgeting around anytime soon?" I chuckled.

"Sorry, it's just really warm," he said, chuckling as well.

"Well, you can take off your sweater," I replied.

"Yeah, but I'm not wearing anything underneath," he said, embarrassed.

"Oh," I responded, "um, it doesn't bother me; you can take it off if you're more comfortable that way," I said, trying to play it cool.

"Are you sure?" he asked, looking into my eyes.

"Yeah, and besides, it's nothing new. I've seen you like this before," I said, feeling awkward, and he couldn't help but laugh as he took off his sweater.

"Why are you laughing ?" I asked, confused.

"Nothing; I just find this situation funny," he said, stopping his laughter.

"Oh, shut up!" I said, giving him a punch on the shoulder, and we both burst into laughter.

"I never told you, but I really love your laugh, you know?" he said without thinking, making me blush.

"Ah yeah?" I responded, embarrassed, but this time not for the same reason.

"Yeah, I find it soothing," he said, smiling.

Another silence fell. We were face to face, looking at each other without touching, as if there was a vast space between us, almost like we were afraid to make contact.

"I love your eyes," I said without really knowing where I was going with it.

"Why?" he whispered.

"When I look into them, I feel like I'm the only person on Earth," I replied, letting my heart speak.

"It's because you are the only person who truly exists in my eyes," he replied shyly.

Another silence.

"I love your lips," he said.

"I love your nose," I replied.

"I love your hips," he continued, and I could feel the tension building.

"I love your arms," I responded, quickening my breath.

"I love your hands," he replied, placing his hand on mine.

"I love your back," I said, gradually moving closer to him.

"Y/n..." he whispered, his lips just a few millimeters from mine.

"Chris," I responded, my eyes fixed on his lips.

"I love you entirely," he said in an almost inaudible voice before closing the distance between our lips.

I grabbed his collar, pulling him closer without parting our lips. Our kiss deepened, our breaths mingling, and the room's temperature became unbearable.

"Y/n, we can't," he said, separating our lips, my right hand still on his cheek.

"I know," I whispered.

He laid back next to me.

"I love you entirely too," I said, turning my head toward him, tears in my eyes.

Silence, again.

"Maybe in another universe, we got to have our story," he said, staring at the ceiling.

"I wish we were in another universe," I responded, gazing at the ceiling as well.

"Do you think in the one we are, we'll never get to have our story?" I asked him, and he turned his head to look at me.

"I don't know," he said, sighing. "All I know is that in this universe, the girl I love leaves at the end of the vacation," he added.

"I wish things were different," I said.

"I know, me too," he replied.

"Can I fall asleep in your arms?" I asked, letting a tear fall.

He didn't respond, just opened his arms for me to snuggle against his chest, which I did.

"Good night, my angel," he whispered.

"Good night, my love," I replied.

I couldn't help but shed a few tears before closing my eyes and finally managing to find sleep.

Taglist: @chrisloyalgf @christopherscamopants @blahbel668 @thematthewlover @mattsturnioloarchive @carolinalikesthings @bernardsgf @whicked-hazlatwhore @hearts4chris @mattybsbitch @sara2233445

#christopher sturniolo #chris sturniolo #nick sturniolo #matt sturniolo #sturniolo #nicolas sturniolo #sturniolo fanfic #sturniolo edit #sturniolo smut #sturniolo x reader #matthew sturniolo #sturniolo triplets #teach me

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sparkles-rule-4eva · 2 months

Text

"The Darkness Within" PART 1 (Sonic X - Dark Sonic)

(Sonic's POV)

The faint sound of his friends' laughter and voices echoed in Sonic's ears even as he stood at the very edge of the Typhoon, a frown twisted across his face as he stared unseeing at the stars.

He hadn't felt such shame in a long time.

Normally, he did whatever he pleased without a care of what anyone thought. He did what he believed was right whether it was perceived that way or not.

So it was safe to say that the events of the attempted rescue of Chris and Cosmo had left him a little . . . shaken.

He couldn't believe the way he'd lost control.

Never before had he felt so intensely angry. Sure, he'd had a right to, his friends were hurt and the Metarex creep was threatening to experiment on them if he refused to let them do the same to him. Sure, he'd felt a little off since he'd discovered the hoards upon hoards of fake chaos emeralds.

And then— what?! He hadn't been able to think straight. His vision had nearly turned red with how furious he'd been. All he could feel was white-hot anger. He remembered hearing himself laugh like some kind of psychopath. He remembered tearing into the Silver and Gold Metarex that were meant to test him, he remembered slicing them to bits at lightspeed and feeling not an ounce of remorse as their armor exploded and they were killed.

And the next thing he'd known, Eggman of all people was scolding him and telling him to calm down.

It had taken him a hot minute to relax. Hearing that Shadow had rescued his friends while he'd been . . . like that, had startled him in the worst way.

Now they were all back, safe and sound. Cosmo and Chris were alright. Everyone on the other side of the ship was celebrating, believing the day was a victory.

In a way, he supposed, they were right.

But Sonic could not relax. He couldn't bring himself to join them, he couldn't even bring himself to smile as he stood alone on the opposite side of the ship, staring at nothing and thinking of everything.

His mind wouldn't shut up, and he didn't have enough space to run on the Typhoon. He was stuck.

What if it happens again?

It won't. I won't let it.

I don't know that, I had no idea this morning that it would happen today.

Now that I know, I'll make sure it never happens again.

Today was just proof that I don't have it as together as I thought I did.

They don't know. No one else here knows. No one knows but Eggman.

Would they be scared if they knew? If they SAW me like that?

Don't worry about it. Just keep going. Don't look back. I never look back.

But usually that doesn't have anything to do with something I did wrong.

Do I apologize somehow? Should I leave? Take some time to myself? How much time? They need me to help them fight the Metarex.

I can't leave, but I sure want to.

I just wish—

"Hey, Sonic! You doing okay?"

He jerked his head around to see Tails slowly approaching his perch, blue eyes wide and curious. Glimmering with just a hint of concern.

Sonic sat down in place and nodded curtly, his voice stuck in his throat. He'd been talking a lot more nowadays than he used to, trying to get better at communicating with people and making friends, but some days it was still hard.

Apparently today was one of those days.

And Tails could see right through him.

His face fell. "Something happened, didn't it?"

Sonic avoided his eyes, choosing instead to stare intensely at the floor in front of him as if it was a work of art.

Slowly, cautiously, Tails moved closer and sat a couple feet away. Sonic could still feel his little brother's eyes on him, but he refused to make eye contact. He wasn't sure he'd be able to handle it.

"Did you get hurt . . . ?" Tails sounded doubtful yet worried.

Sonic shook his head.

"Did the Metarex say something that bothered you?"

Another wordless head shake.

Tails didn't ask anything else for about a minute, choosing instead to let them both sit in thoughtful silence and allow Sonic to try and pull himself together.

I can't tell him. There's no way.

I can't tell him . . . all of it.

Sonic swallowed, lifting his chin and finally daring to meet Tails's questioning eyes. He opened his mouth, but could not bring himself to make a sound.

Tails bit his lip, then lifted his hands and signed, "I'm here."

Sonic nodded with a small, grateful smile, then, after a hesitation, signed back, "Something happened. I did something."

Tails tilted his head slightly, and even though he could've just spoken his response, he continued signing. "What did you do?"

There was no fear or aggression in his hand movements or expression. Just genuine, gentle curiosity.

Sonic closed his eyes for a moment, that awful feeling of shame washing over him all over again. "Something bad. I caused harm. I didn't mean to."

Tails smiled gently. "You didn't mean to. You didn't harm our friends, right?"

Sonic exhaled silently through his nose. "No. I hurt the bad guys." He didn't think there was a sign for "Metarex," but if there was, he didn't know it.

A flicker of confusion appeared in his little brother's eyes. "You stop the bad guys all the time."

He fidgeted uncomfortably, then signed, "It was different. Can't explain. I was wrong."

Tails paused for a long moment after those shaky signs from Sonic, looking thoughtfully at the sky.

"It's okay," he signed back eventually. "I know your heart is in the right place. Whatever you did, you wouldn't be feeling so bad if it wasn't in the right place."

Sonic blinked. He fidgeted a little more, then quickly signed, "Thank you."

The fox kit smiled and nodded. "You're welcome. I'm here for you." Then, without waiting for a response, he stood up and extended a hand out to Sonic.

Sonic initially thought Tails was going to bring him back to the group, but then remembered that his brother knew him better than that. So he accepted the little hand reaching for him and stood as well, then followed the fox kit downstairs inside the ship.

Tails brought him to his bedroom on the ship, gestured for him to wait there, then left. For a few minutes, Sonic sat alone, fingering the cool sheets and looking around the room, anything to avoid thinking too much again.

After those few minutes, Tails returned with a steaming mug of tea, which he carefully handed to Sonic. "Take your time," he signed, smiling sweetly. "This will help you sleep."

Sonic managed a small, regretful smile. "Thank you," he signed again.

Tails nodded, patted his hands in reassurance, and left the room.

Sonic paused for a long moment, then sat back on his bed and sipped his tea. He recognized the flavor as the same kind Tails himself used on bad nights, the ones with nightmares and thunderstorms.

He took a deep breath. Over the course of the next hour, he finished his tea over a good book. He listened to his friends' voices wind down outside on the deck.

And eventually, he slept.

AO3 version

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cellophaine · 8 months

Text

Sad Girl (Part II)

Read Part I

Pairing: Matt Murdock x F!Reader

Warnings: Angst, not a happy ending.

Author's Note: Sooo, I severely overestimated how much free time I would have, and as it turns out, I have had not a lot and will have none free time for the next three weeks. My irl project is quite literally consuming me on top of the packing for an across the globe trip, so I won't be able to work actively on any writing project at all 🥲 I will be back to writing and posting in late fall/early winter! (hopefully)

P/S: I might write a part 3 to make up for the angst but uhm ... please don't come for me over the ending 🫣

GIF Credit

Judging by the sound of people and traffic outside, Matt knew he had slept in. Not that it mattered since it was a Saturday, and he had nowhere to be, especially after a night of going all out on a celebration with Foggy and Karen on the occasion of winning a big case for their client. With the new bonus lined in their pockets, Foggy gave a passionate speech about the grand plan of upgrading the office; Karen daydreamed about a proper heater for the upcoming winter while Matt zoned out, occasionally chiming in with a witty remark. He didn't enjoy his win as much as he should, as a part of him wished he could see you and tell you about it instead. He knew you would be happy for him and listen to every detail, just like you did whenever he told you about his day, when he wasn't in a hurry to leave.

The talking clock announced the time and date, and as Matt shifted back to the bed, a thought struck him. It had been three months since his last illicit affair with you. Matt sighed, pressing his face into the pillow at the thought of you. He had been thinking about you more and more every day. Matt blamed it on his coming to the acceptance that what you and he shared had long dissolved into thin air, becoming something that never was before you met. But the history was still there, at least for him. It didn't get to disappear. It stayed in his head, haunting him like a shadow at the edge of his conscience, waiting for a chance to occupy his thoughts whenever he found his mind strayed, and if he had to admit it, he didn't want to let it go. Matt replayed the last night he spent with you over and over, prying for little details of what had gone wrong, only to come up with none. You were curt with him, and the rebuttal he came up with was you were tired. You even said it yourself. Matt left you alone that night after that, and he even made sure that the two of you were okay. But he guessed it wasn't enough, as you completely shut him out afterward.

From time to time, Matt would stop by your place to check on you, to see if the wind chime returned, only to be disappointed by its absence. He would perch on the rooftop of your building, listening to the sound of your soft laugh alongside your favourite show. Matt was so close, yet so far away from you. He had gotten used to the silence, but he hadn't used to not seeing you, being around you. Even though a small part of him was crestfallen that you didn't seem to miss his presence, it made him happy to see you were still doing well. Even if it was without him.

Turning on his back, with his hand stretched over the empty space beside him, Matt couldn't help but wonder why you cut all contact with him, and why he had been so bothered by the fact. He could take the hint and accept a rejection, but he couldn't understand why your silence hurt him the most of all. Something was missing; Matt could feel it so clearly when he returned to his apartment at night after your arrangement was abruptly over. His place didn't have your scent, your candles, or even the overpowering aroma of the ointment you applied on him when he needed it. He even missed the coarseness of your fine cotton sheets on his too-sensitive skin. Yet, none of these little things could even begin to compare to how often he found himself missing your presence most of all. Your steady heartbeat and the way it quickened when he touched you. Your comforting scent when he buried his nose into your neck. The way your thighs found their home around his waist when he fucked you into the mattress, your bodies moving together in a desperate attempt at getting closer and closer until you were joined in one body made of flesh and bones. It wasn't just the sex that he missed. His heart involuntarily yearned for your laugh, your presence, being around you. He remembered how your apartment smelled like the tea you drink and how it would be cold by the end of his visits. He missed the way you seemed to know what he needed by paying attention to his body language and the way he conveyed his needs without words.

Matt ran a hand over his face and sighed heavily. He needed to take a walk, to allow his mind to be uninhabited by you.

As Matt padded barefoot through the apartment, he was reminded once again of you by the soft floral fragrance in the sweater you left at his place. It was you he smelled, a warm and sheer powdery iris that he could never mistake for someone else, and a mix of his own scent, too. When he first noticed it in his closet, his heart fluttered when he realized what it was. Now, with its new place on the top of a dining chair, the faint floral was a reminder of what you were to him. He wished he could restore it to your scent and your scent only so he could hold onto you a little longer. Matt caught his stray thought and steered himself away from reminiscing. It was dangerously close to the territory he couldn't afford to enter. So he shut it out.

He really needed that walk.

The air was crisp and clear, which made everything around him stand out more. Matt took a moment to take in his surroundings. The neighbourhood felt lively amongst the aroma of coffee, steaming broth, greasy food and freshly baked pastries. The revving of a motorcycle passed by him, making his brows furrow over the loud noise and the waft of smoke it brought. He smelled more food, more body odour, but amidst all that chaos, something familiar arose. The scent reminded him of you. And once again, his thoughts strayed as if he couldn't help himself.

How could he have predicted the way things ended with you? Even if he knew beforehand, he couldn't prevent it from happening. It simply wasn't meant to be. You and him both knew what you were getting into, and it was nothing more than a casual exchange. And if his exclusion from your life was what you wanted, he would respect that. Still, Matt couldn't make sense of his desolation. It confused him, all the thoughts running through his head, all the ache wrapping around his heart like cellophane, circling around the truth buried so deep that he couldn't feel it for what it truly was. It was almost as if his heart already knew, but his mind refused to acknowledge it.

The iris scent got stronger, and Matt directed his attention toward it. His heart seemed to recognize it before his senses caught onto it, beating faster as it came closer, accompanied by the rhythm of a heartbeat he knew so well. It was unmistakenly you, your scent, your voice, as all the tangible signals drifted to him. He was aware that you hadn't seen him yet; his feet involuntarily picked up the pace, closing the distance between you. You were closer to him now, the closest in months. He listened to your voice as you chatted with your companion, unaware of him. And when you finally saw him, Matt could tell as the breath in your throat hitched. He took a deep breath, bracing himself to say hi, a soft smile on his face.

It was only seconds, yet it felt so long as your jacket brushed over his on the busy pavement; the brief contact ended before it even began. You kept walking further away from him as Matt's heart dropped in the realization that you didn't stop to acknowledge him. The familiar ache took hold of his heart and squeezed again. Matt brushed the feeling off by taking his own steps forward and away from you, only with less certainty and excitement. He was still close by when he heard it. The conversation you had with your companion.

"Hey. You okay?"

The woman's voice was full of concern.

"Uh, yeah, I'm … I'm fine."

There was a touch of hesitation in your voice.

"Are you sure? You look like you saw a ghost."

A small chuckle.

"I feel like I did."

A brief pause and a small yet determined exhale later.

"Don't worry. It's nothing."

His heart dropped even further at your words; the pain grabbed and pulled at his heartstrings violently. What you said to your friend manifested a bitter taste on his tongue, making his stomach churn. You pretending not to know him and ignoring him hurt him more than he realized. How could you? How could you act like the ink on the pages of your story had washed away so completely that the history you shared became a blank book? Why did he become nothing to you?

Matt wanted to know the unbridled truth and get the closure he was owed. He deserved that much.

–

About a week later, Matt waited for you to return home at the front of your building instead of the usual spot at your fire escape. It was late, almost time for him to go back to his apartment so he could start the patrol for the night. But that could wait.

Matt buried his hands into his pockets to shield them from the wind nipping at his skin. Leaning onto the brick pillar at the bottom of the steps, he closed his eyes, trying to calm his heart rate, reminding himself that it was just you, the woman he had known so well. But his logic persisted. Maybe he didn't know you at all. He could barely understand himself these days. Who was he to say that he knew you for who you really were?

His heart picked up its pace again once he heard the sound of your voice neared. You were laughing alongside the familiar voice from last week; the slightest slur in your words was enough for him to know that you were tipsy. The uneven clicks of your heels on the ground became steadier as you made your way toward the entrance and stopped when you approached him.

Matt stood up straight, clearing his throat softly.

"Hi."

"What are you doing here?"

You wasted no time. Your voice was cold, and your demeanour was curt.

"I need to talk to you."

Your companion's voice interrupted him.

"Who are you?"

You pulled at your friend's sleeve, and after a brief pause, she released a small gasp and a soft "Oh". She then turned to him, her voice stern, leaving no room for any other interpretation.

"My friend doesn't have anything to say to you. So you can–"

"Mindy. I got this."

"Are you sure?"

Matt listened as the conversation wrapped up, with Mindy getting into a cab and you promising to call her if you wanted to talk. You closed the door, waiting until the taxi pulled away before returning to him, still keeping your distance.

"What do you want to talk to me about?"

Matt took a small step forward.

"About what happened between us."

"There is nothing to talk about. Nothing happened."

The blankness in your voice made him feel like his skin was pricked with needles. He scoffed, bewildered with disbelief at your outright denial.

"I wouldn't call cutting off all contact, out of the blue, without an explanation, nothing."

When you didn't say anything, he continued.

"Why did you shut me out? It's like our relationship meant nothing to you."

His words seemed to get to you as you snapped back at him.

"There was nothing between us. There was no relationship."

You enunciated your words, making your intention clear.

"I cared for you the same way you cared for me. Isn't that something?"

The harsh puff of air escaped from you was scornful, and Matt knew he was getting somewhere.

"No. You don't know what you're talking about."

"Of course I do. What do you mean by that?"

You stepped closer until you were inches away from him. You were so close that Matt could feel the tension in your body, the way your fists clenched into themselves, the way your heart pounded in your chest.

"You want the truth, Matt? The truth is I didn't want to set myself up for more disappointment, so I did what I thought was best for myself."

His brows scrunched together at the meaning behind your words.

"What kind of disappointment?"

You sighed heavily.

"The kind that came from knowing I could never be more to you. I thought you cared for me, Matt."

Your voice had gone quieter, so small that he felt like it took all of your strength to physically say it. He softened at that, and his hand reached out to find your cheek.

"I did. I still do."

But before the contact happened, you took a step back, avoiding his hand.

"No. You don't care about me like the way I cared for you. I was just your side piece that you could fuck whenever you–"

Matt was so taken aback by your firm conviction that he didn't register the latter part. He didn't care about the way you seemed to shy away from him and grasped your arms, pulling you close.

"You're more than that to me! You're my friend."

His chest heaved in exertion. He didn't know what else he could do to convince you. When you spoke, it was the way your voice shook that broke him.

"That wasn't enough for me, Matt."

Your hands came up to hold onto his arms, your grasp weak, but it gave Matt some hope. You swallowed hard.

"I lov– I liked you, so much that my heart hurts whenever you didn't stop by."

His heart rattled in its cage, wanting to break free at your confession. Your voice was so small, yet your words carried so much weight.

"I thought we could be more, but you confirmed that it wasn't in the cards for you, so … I did the best thing for both of us. I didn't want to waste anymore of your and my time."

Matt loosened his hold, his head dipped as he hoped you were looking at him.

"You knew what it would be like to be with me. I would go out and I might get hurt, and I didn't want to leave you by yourself worrying about me in case something happened."

You tore yourself away from his grasp, your voice raised in what felt like exasperation.

"You don't get it! I already went through those worries when we were still sleeping together. I was always worried about you when you got injured, when you came to my place just a little later than you said you would. I would be worried sick. So don't feed me that bull shit. I knew what I was getting myself into."

Matt fell silent, and for the first time, he lost his defence. So he returned to the start of it all.

"We agreed to be casual."

"Then why did you act like my boyfriend? Cuddling me to sleep? Making sure I was okay after a shitty day at work? I thought it was you showing that you cared about me more than just a fuck-buddy."

Your anger only intensified at his attempt at calmness.

"You're worth caring for. I didn't regret anything I did for you."

You chuckled, the sound bitter to his ears.

"Right. It doesn't matter anyway. You already have someone else waiting for you at home."

Confusion clouded his thoughts.

"What are you talking about?"

You scoffed in disbelief.

"I'm talking about Karen Page."

"What about her?"

"Don't pull that shit with me. I know you're together. I could tell by the way you acted throughout the interview and the photoshoot."

"You got it wrong. We used to date, but not anymore. We're only friends. Please, you have to trust me."

He could hear you moving toward him before feeling a jab of your finger at his chest; your face was closer to his for the first time in months.

"I don't care what the two of you are anymore, okay? It looked like that from my end. Do you know what it feels like knowing that you were made the other woman? I even defended you before my friend, saying that you actually loved me. I was so fucking stupid."

Your last words were dripped in a teary tone. Matt was speechless as you sobbed; the sound made his body throb with pain as if he was dealt with a thousand cuts. He noticed the way your heart thundered in your chest, but it wasn't out of dishonesty. It was out of the hate and love you had for him, both surging at once. Your heart thumped vigorously for him; your body burned with fervour because of him. He was too stubborn to see the signs for what they were: the affection and devotion you saved for him, reflected through the little things you did for him. You didn't have to say it. Your feeling for him was tangible and real, like the feel of your finger prodding at his chest. Real like the tears on your face at the expense of his unintentional ignorance.

Your hand fell to your side. Your anger subsided; now you were depleted, and Matt hated that he was the source of your distress.

"Please, understand where I came from. I didn't want to be a home wrecker. I just couldn't do it anymore."

He nodded. The silence stretched as the two of you let the confession infuse the air between you. Matt had asked for the truth, and he got it. Yet it was so suffocating that he felt like he couldn't breathe. All of your cards were laid on the table, and it was his turn to reveal his.

You sniffled, and your voice sobered up. But Matt could still hear the shakiness in it.

"Anything else you want to tell me?"

The words were at the tip of his tongue, but he couldn't bring himself to say them. He held his cards close, afraid to confront the aftermath. After all, he had so much to lose.

You took his silence for your answer. You trained your voice to be cold again.

"Right. I hope you got what you came here for."

You brushed past him and ascended the steps, leaving Matt where he was: at the front of your door, in the cold autumn wind, alone. Like he always had been.

*Likes, reblogs, and comments are greatly appreciated!* Follow my side blog to receive notifications whenever I post! @cellophaine-archives

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doudouneverte · 9 months

Text

A new start

a/n: hey I'm alive sorry...

*not my GIF*

Pairing: Natasha Romanoff x Female!Reader; Yelena Belova x Female!Reader(platonic)

Summary: I just wanted to write something about Yelena...

Type: Fluff

Warning: mention of Red Room and nothing else (I think)

word count: 3058

-----------

It was already night when Natasha came back, but she was not alone. The redhead opened the door to find a noiseless home; you were definitely sleeping, and even if she loved when you greeted her when she came back, she was more happy to know you found time to rest.

"Come on." She said to the woman next to her, "I'll just check Y/n and we will prepare the spare bedroom." Nat walked to your shared bedroom without making any sounds to not wake you up. When the Russian had confirmation that you were asleep, she started the other part of her plan.

The next day you woke up with your wife next to you; she said she had a mission somewhere in Europe, and you just assumed she came back last night while you were sleeping. You left a kiss on her head before heading to the bathroom and then to the kitchen to make her breakfast. Dating a super spy wasn't easy, and marrying her wasn't really better, but you knew she would always come back to you. During the years, you did a lot of things to make her life easier, even if it wasn't always good, but you tried and you succeeded.

While you were making breakfast, you heard some footsteps behind you. You were expecting your favorite redhead, but you were surprised to see a blonde woman standing in front of you in one of your wife's pajamas, visibly tired and as confused as you.

"Who the hell are you?" You asked, a little surprised by how calm you sounded.

Yelena wanted to talk, but her sister came before "Good morning, detka." Natasha greeted you beside her little sister, and you just replied with a nod. "Oh yes, I almost forgot..." She took some steps toward you and pointed to the other woman in the room. "Y/n, let me introduce you to my little sister, Yelena." She turned to Yelena and pointed to you this time: "Yelena, let me introduce you to my wife for a long time now, Y/n."

"Why are you so formal?" The two of you both asked her, then exchanged a look and chuckled. You dropped the knife you were using to cut some fruit before being interrupted to properly introduce you to the blonde.

"Hi Yelena, I'm Y/n, but you can call me Y/n/n." You proposed your hand with a big smile, and she shook it.

"Uh, hi?"

"Are you hungry? I'm making breakfast; you can ask if you want anything special." You proposed.

"No, it's okay, I don't want to bother you; I'll just have toast and a cup of coffee." The youngest Russian said

"Don't worry, it's not bothering her; you can ask her anything." Natasha said before emptying her coffee cup and rushing out of the kitchen. "I need to do some paperwork for the last mission; I should be back tonight. I will buy the dinner." She announced it before disappearing.

You finished the breakfast and disposed of a plate in front of the blonde woman when the redhead came back, already dressed to leave.

Natasha quickly kissed you on the lips before giving a quick kiss on Yelena's cheek before heading to the front door. "I love you; see you tonight!" She yelled before you heard the door getting slammed.

In the kitchen, you were eating, a little unsure of how you should act with your sister-in-law. Your wife already told you about her past and about Yelena; you knew the widows didn't trust easily. -- it took you almost one year and a half after you and the older sister started dating before she started to confess a little about her past.

"So, what are you doing?" Yelena asked you to break the silence.

"What do you mean by what I am doing?" You asked completely confused.

"Are you a super soldier, a super spy, have you a super armor, or have you any super powers?" She asked, and you laughed. "What is funny?"

"Nothing; it's just that I wish I had powers, but no, I'm just like you... I mean, not really. I'm not a spy or anything." You replied.

"Well, if I had to imagine my sister dating someone, I thought it would be one of the boys band." She said and took another sip of her coffee while you laughed again.

"Sorry, it's just that you're not the only one who assumes that, but you are the only one who says that in front of me." You took a moment to regain your serious "I'm not someone special; honestly, even after three years, I don't know why your sister asked me to be her wife." You confessed.

"She's the one who proposed?"

"Yes, it was a Tuesday. I came back from my training, and she waited for me in the bathroom. She got a little hurt on a mission, and I started to help her, and out of nowhere, she proposed to me." You smiled at the memory. "She didn't even have a ring or anything; she just did it spontaneously, and I accepted it."

"Why? Excuse me, but did you know who she was before you accepted?"

"Yes, of course. We had been dating for four years before that. She told me about her... about your past."

"She talked to you about me?" Yelena asked, visibly surprised.

"Yes, almost every day, sometimes I had to shut her up." You joked. "She missed you a lot. She passed every year to close herself every time we were approaching her anniversary of her escape from the Red Room." You confessed.

"Why? The Red Room was not a place that should be mourned."

"I know, but this date reminded her of the time she left you, hoping that somehow you found a way to escape and find a better life." The blonde searched for a trace of lying in your expression, but she didn't find anything. "But I'm happy that you're here now; she talked to me a lot about you, but I always wanted to meet you. First, because I feel like I still need your approval for marrying your sister, and also because we need someone to keep an eye on Liho when we're not around."

This time it was Yelena's turn to laugh; you didn't say anything and just admired her, probably feeling alive for a long time. "I don't think I'm the best person to take care of a cat; I'm more of a dog person." She said and you nodded.

"Okay but you didn't say no, so I'll take that for a yes." You said before grabbing her plate to start washing the dishes. "Oh before I forgot, did you have any clothes except Nat's one?" You asked.

"No, we just landed here late last night." The blonde said.

"Okay. There is a spare toothbrush in the bathroom, and there are also some towels. You can take a shower and put some of your sister's clothes, I'll finish this, and we will leave." You announced.

"Where are we going?" The blonde asked.

"Buying you some clothes and a new phone." You replied.

"You don't have to."

"Be ready in forty minutes." You said firmly before starting to do the dishes, not allowing room for any debate.

Yelena wanted to protest, but she remembered what Nat said about you being almost more stubborn than her. The blonde made her way to the bathroom, where she easily found everything and some clothes folded with a note written by Nat.

Fourty minutes later, you were waiting for her in front of the main door when she came out of her bedroom dressed, and you led her into your car. On your ride, you decided to try to get to know her more than Nat told you.

"So...do you have anything in mind, a favorite type of clothes, or anything?" You asked.

"Not really; I will take anything you want." She replied.

"Uh uh, absolutely not." You protested, "It's your clothes, so you'll choose." She didn't have time to reply before you parked the car. "Let's go." You said showing a credit card.

In the shop, Yelena seemed a little shy to be here. You found it cute, but something in your mind reminded you why she acted like that.

You patted her shoulder and gave her a smile. "What do you think about trying to find a lot of clothes that would suit you and meeting at the cabin in thirty minutes?" You proposed, and she nodded shyly before she started to walk, "and don't restrain you." You added before walking in the other direction.

Thirty minutes later, as you were waiting for her with your hand full of clothes, the blonde came to meet you with fewer articles than you like you excepted. "Don't you think it's too much?" She asked while she was examining everything you picked.

"Nothing is too much. Now go try everything, and we will keep what you want." You commanded, and even if she wanted to protest, she was thinking about what her sister told her.

After a lot of time dressing and undressing herself, Yelena finally came out with some choices. You made your way to the cashier, and she was a little surprised to see all the articles. When you paid, you immediately put the bag in the car before continuing your purchase.

After buying her a new phone, you decided to take a pause in a restaurant to eat. While you were waiting for your order, the blonde in front of you cleared her throat to gain your attention.

"Hey, can I ask you something?" You nodded to let her continue "What do you—" she was interrupted when someone called you.

"Y/n/n?" You heard a familiar voice call your name, and when you looked at them, you smiled.

"Marina? What are you doing here?" You were clearly surprised to see her but also really happy.

"It's our day off, so I propose to the girls that we have lunch before our game tomorrow." The tall woman replied, and as if she summoned them, a group of girls came into the restaurant, and a few of them rushed to give you a crushing hug.

"Hey girls, I missed you." You said.

"Us too." Another woman said.

"Who is she?" Marina whispered to you.

"Oh right, girls, let me introduce you to Yelena. She's Natasha's little sister. She came from... Europe; yeah, she moved from Europe to be with her sister." You said a little unsure if it was a good answer. Yelena behind you just waved shyly at the girls when she had all their attention.

"And Yelena, this is my volleyball team; they can be annoying, but they're good peoples. At least some of them." You whispered comically loudly to Yelena, who laughed when some of your teammates started to protest.

The encounter with the girls was a rather good things, the Russian seemed less shy when it was time to go back home. At home, you took nearly an hour to install all the new things you bought in her bedroom and in the house. After that, you were a little tired and decided to take a nap while Yelena was watching TV.

Nearly an hour later, Natasha came back. The redhead was a little surprised when you didn't greet her like usual. "Hey, how was your day?" She asked her little sister when she saw her on the couch.

Yelena took a moment to think before replying, "Pretty good; we spent almost all the day doing shopping and eating." She explained, and her sister laughed.

"It's clearly a Y/n thing, but talking about her. Where is she?"

"She took a nap a little before you came back."

"Oh, did she seem tired?" The redhead asked a little worried.

"Not more than usual."

"Did she say something about her knee?"

"Mmmh...no why?"

"She tore her ACL a few months ago, and now she's in rehab, and she's not protected from injuring her knee again." Natasha said, and her sister started to look at her feet a little guilty.

"Now I feel bad for letting her carry the bags." Yelena admitted but her sister didn't say anything; she just wrapped her arms around her and pulled her close to herself.

"Don't worry, it will not kill her, but yeah, the next time you can be more attentive to that." The older sister said before leaving a kiss on her head. "Now let's watch a movie before I have to order dinner."

After that, you woke up only one hour later, and it was already time for dinner. Natasha ordered mac and cheese, and it was the first time you've seen Yelena so happy for the entire day. You washed the dishes and started to watch a movie before the two sisters joined you. They were commenting on the movie with you and sometimes arguing about a few things until the youngest fell asleep. Your wife picked her up and brought her to her bedroom before calling it a night for her and kissing you before she went to sleep.

Because of your nap, you were still awake around 2 a.m. when you heard some noise in Yelena's bedroom. If it had been more than a decade before, you would surely let it slide, but not now. You married a black widow; you knew exactly what was happening, and honestly, you were surprised it hadn't happened yesterday.

You made your way to the blonde's bedroom. You opened the door carefully before you spotted her on the bed, moving frenetically and mumbling something. If all the past years with Natasha have taught you anything, it is that you need to wake her up before something bad happens, but carefully.

So you walk calmly to her side and check that there wasn't anything that could be used as a weapon before you start to try to wake her up. But of course things didn't go well when she woke up suddenly and started to attack you. Fortunately for you, your wife forced you to train a little with her just in case something like this happened with her.

But Yelena, not being Natasha, didn't restrain herself and really try to kill you; she thought that you were a real threat. You didn't know how, but you managed to immobilize her. You pulled her against you and talked to her until she came back from her state. The redhead entered the bedroom a few seconds later with her widow's bite ready to use it on whoever wanted to arm her sister, but she threw them away when she saw you.

When she sensed her sister, Yelena calmed herself and made her way to Nat's arms. You brought her a water cup and waited until your wife assured you that everything would be alright. After that, you went to sleep, but you were a little shocked by the events.

The next morning, you woke up with the other side of the bed empty of your wife's presence. When you went to the kitchen, no one was there. You checked your phone to see a text from Natasha.

Hot Wife💖[9:32 a.m] I bring Yelena with me to the tower. I love you♥️ You[10:04 a.m] Oh okay, I'll see you later. I love you ♥️

You spent the day trying to distract yourself with Liho and the TV until the girls came back in the middle of the afternoon. When you heard the keys in the door, you rushed from your bedroom to the front door. When Natasha opened the door, you quickly jumped into her arms.

"I missed you too." She joked. You let her go when you saw Yelena behind her; the blonde seemed to feel guilty about earlier.

You didn't say anything and just opened your arms for the youngest sister, who hesitated a moment. She looked at Nat, who reassured her with a smile, and the blonde Russian accepted your hug.

"I'm sorry." Yelena said while you were running your fingers through her hair.

"It's okay; I know what it's like to have those types of nights." You assured her, and she looked at you with a little surprise.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah, I'm married to your sister, remember? Now come, Liho missed his aunt." You said bringing her in the living room. After a moment playing with your sister in-law and the cat you went to the kitchen to grabbed a water bottle when Natasha came.

"Thanks for being here for her yesterday." She said while hugging you.

"Don't worry, it's okay. I know it's not easy to live with trauma, but I'm sure one day she will be alright." You reassured her.

"I hope." The redhead said to no one in particular.

Two weeks later, you came back from a trip to the grocery store more excited than usual. "Where is Yelena?" You asked Natasha when you didn't see the blonde in the living room.

"In her bedroom, why?" You didn't reply before you called her sister. A few seconds later, the two sisters were in front of you, confused about your behavior.

"Okay, Yelena, I have a surprise for you." You said before showing her a little box "Open it."

The blonde took the box, opened it, and found a key. She looked at you more confused.

"I know I should do it earlier, but I didn't find the time. Sorry, but here it is." You took the key: "I know that somewhere in your mind you still have a lot of things to deal with, but now you can suppress one thing. This is a spare key to the house; this is officially your home too. I'm really happy to have you in my family."

The blonde took a moment to process what you said. After the mission in Ohio, she didn't think she could have a family, and when Natasha ran away and never came back, that solidified this thought. But now she had somewhere she could call her home again, with people who really cared about her.

Yelena cried and hugged you tightly. "Thank you." She whispered.

"No thanks to you. You just completed our little family." Natasha said before joining you in the hug. Today is a new start.

#Natasha Romanoff #natasha romanoff x fem!reader #natasha x reader #natasha romanoff x female reader #Yelena Belova #yelena belova x female reader #yelena belova x reader #marvel fic #marvel fanfic #yelena belova x fem reader #natasha romanoff #yelena belova x fem!reader #yelena belova x platonic!reader

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natsglorifiedsimp · 2 years

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Birthday Wish

A/n: This is an idea I got from a post on Facebook I think and well here it is.

Taglist: @diaryoflife @xxromanoffxx @lissaaaa145 @fxckmiup @simp-erformarvelwomen @mmmmokdok @sayah13 @karmasgxrl

Warning: uhm really angsty and sad and sad and really sad. Mentions of neglect of child, suicide, and death. Let me know if it should add more.

It's your mom's birthday.

What would a 7-year-old give her?

You have been taking down notes of what would your mom want. The reason why the page was full of scribble is that you don't know what she wants.

Why you don't know what she wants?

Because you guys don't even hang out. Your mother somehow loves you in a different way it seems.

She often tells you to go do something else when you ask for her time. Or leave her alone so she could focus on her work. Or just don't talk to you.

It could go months or years like she forgot she have a daughter. She somehow just remembers you there when you ask for her to give you attention which by the way just seems to irritate her.

Today though you wanted her to not be pissed at you for the gift you're gonna give her. Every birthday you give her cards or cupcakes which she either throws away or burns.

But somehow no matter how you rack your small brain no ideas would come up. So for a solution, you decide to survey the team cause somehow they know your mom more than you.

Most of them said 'give her a card'. Or just 'give her a hug and wished her happy birthday' which is all you did and still pissed her off.

Until you came across Steve. Who by the way always know what to say.

"Uncle Steve?" you whispered, peeking by his office door.

"Yes," he replied in the same manner.

"How do I know what to give mama for her birthday?" you tilted your head, still outside his office to give him some privacy like you always do with your mom.

"Come here" he ushered. You timidly made your way to him your head bowing cause you were not used to people letting you in their office.

He lifted your chin for you to look him eye to eye. "Give your mama something special" he mused. "Something she always wanted and make sure the gift comes from the heart." he mused, pointing at your chest.

You pondered, furrowing your eyebrows in deep thought. And then it clicked.

"Thank you, Uncle Steve" you exclaimed, running out of his office. The man couldn't help but chuckle.

Something your mom always wanted was what she tells you every day. How could you be so stupid?

What she always wished for was something you never thought could make her happy. No matter how she says it, even if she changes the word and its sentence. It holds the same meaning.

You hesitated for a minute but you knew this is what she wants. It's not about you, it's about making her happy and she will never be mad at you. Anything so she wouldn't be mad right?

Natasha came home after her mission. Tired and drained out. She was surprised you didn't greet her at the door. She exhaled satisfyingly. You probably learned not to bother her when she's home from a mission.

Tired and worn out she slowly made her way to her room, rubbing her eyes to hopefully pry her eyes open so she could do her nightly routine before sleeping.

Opening the door she flicked the switch on to properly see where she's going.

Her eyes which were once loopy and tired were now widened at what she saw. Her mouth was agape and an audible gasp left her lips.

You were in her room.

Hanging

Natasha didn't know what to do. It seems like her world became frozen and it was your hanging body and her that was only moving.

You were pale and lifeless. Your eyes closed and somehow you look in peace.

She never moved. Never moved a single muscle. She was only moved when she was nudged by Tony also the sleep-deprived person who's always up no matter what time of the day.

Noticing the redhead and curious at what the redhead could be so scared about that she froze. He also looked up seeing your limp body.

Tony franticly called the team and instruct Friday for medical assistance. Everyone was running around in a panic. Shouting and panic rambling can be heard all around the compound. But all of it was muffled in Natasha's ear.

The team can even get a hold of her so she guided her to the bed and leaves her alone for a while.

When everyone was out a lone tear escaped her eyes and followed by a series of tears she can't control. She sobbed and wailed. And she somehow couldn't stop it no matter how she tried.

She cried until no tears were left. She stared nowhere until she saw a colorful letter on her side table. Written on it was "HAPPY BIRTHDAY"

She knew it was yours. She shakily opened it and cried once more.

Dear Mama,

Happy Birthday, mama! I know I shouldn't make a letter cause you hate it and you'll probably burn this off. But I just wanted this to be a tradition to give you a letter every birthday and since this is my last one I had to do it. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry I always make you mad mama. I didn't mean to. I'm sorry you had to take care of me like you always say. I didn't really wanna go but you have to have what you want for your birthday right? I hope this finally makes you happy mama. And I hope this also doesn't make you mad like the last gifts I gave you.

I just don't know how to make you happy mama. And this is what you always wished for and that needs to come true. Thank you for taking care of me mama. I'm sorry you had to.

I love you mama even if you don't love me back.

Your daughter,

Y/n

She doesn't know how to feel. Everything she said to you all replayed in her brain. Every nasty thing and every neglect. All was there.

Wishing you were never born, never alive, and wishing she killed you herself. That we're just a few of them.

All of it was the other way around.

Now she wished

It was her hanging

#mcu #black widow #natasha marvel #natasha romonova #avengers #natasha romanov #natahsa romanoff #natasha x teen reader #natasha x daughter!reader #natasha romanoffs daughter #natasha romanoff x daughter!reader #natasha's child #marvel angst #natasha romanoff angst

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nicorobinmywife · 1 year

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One Piece boys dealing with an insecure partner

Summary: headcanons of how they would help you to deal with your insecurities. GN reader.

Character: Luffy, Zoro and Ace.

Luffy

your captain is so strong and determined and you've wondered if you really deserve him.

if he is going to become king of the pirates, he will need an equally strong partner to protect him.

when you saw the pirate empress boa hancock saving him, you couldn't hide your sadness.

" - hey y/n why are you so sad?" - he sits next to you.

"- I wish I could be strong like the pirate empress boa hancock so I could protect you, she's so powerful and beautiful, she deserves you more than me." - you cried, Luffy took off his hat and put it on your head, you were shocked, Nami was the only person he trusted his hat.

" - y/n, if I didn't think you were strong I wouldn't have asked you to join my crew, i know how hard you work to protect me, i'm so proud of you, now stop crying, you are prettier when you are smiling " - he wraps his arm around your body and hugs you.

Zoro

during a battle against marine soldiers, you were not at your best and were easily knocked down.

" - hahaha, what is a weak pirate like you is doing next to Roronoa Zoro, one of the strongest and most feared men in the world?", the soldier makes fun of you, but zoro cut him with his sword and saved you.

since that day you felt insecure and you started to avoid Zoro.

at first Zoro preferred to respect your space and leave you alone.

but of course he missed you and went to talk to you.

" - Did I do something that made you sad? why are you avoiding me?" - he sits beside you.

" - the problem isn't you, it's me, I'm tired of being weak, no matter how hard I train, I'll never be strong like you, you're the strongest man in the world, you don't have any flaws, I don't I understand why you waste your time with someone like me, you deserve someone better than me." - you sighed.

" - you are wrong, I do have my weaknesses, I also fight with my own demons every day, always trying to overcome myself in order to protect you, our captain and the others, I am also afraid of failing and disappointing everyone." - he puts his hand on your shoulder, you've never heard him talk that way, you've never seen zoro's vulnerable side.

" - I didn't know you felt that way Zoro." - He smiled and wiped a tear that was running down your cheek.

" - these are the moments where i look to you for strength, you taught me that being strong is not just about physical strength, you are strong in your own way y/n, don't let insecurities control you." - he hugs you, that's when you finally understood how important you are to him.

Ace

note: Ace and whitebeard didn't died in this headcanon.

whitebeard decided to throw a party to celebrate ace's successful rescue.

everyone was drinking and dancing, but ace missed you and decided to look for you.

" - hey what are you doing here alone?" - he laid his head on your lap.

" - it's nothing, you don't have to worry about me." - he knows you very well and always knew when you were lying.

"- you know you can trust me, y/n, tell me, what's bothering you?" - you broke down in tears.

"- I was so scared of losing you, you were only captured because I wasn't strong enough to protect you, if you had been executed I wouldn't have forgiven myself, I can't even look you in the eye and ask your forgiveness for being so useless." - when he heard that he quickly got up and pulled you into a hug.

" - never say something like that again, it wasn't your fault okay? being captured is a risk any pirate takes, Luffy himself told me that he couldn't rescue me without your help, I trust you with my life y/n and I'm very proud of you."

" - i love you so much Ace." - you kissed him.

after this conversation, expect a lot of compliments from him, ace will do anything to make you not feel insecure.

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vctrvn-ls · 8 months

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I love you too? |Kenny|

summary: you and Kenny get into a heated argument after which you try and take the first step to make peace

warnings: angst, language

wordcount: 1.35k

"What the fuck is this?!" You heard Kenny call out from the living room.

"What!?" You shouted back, not thinking much of it, continuing to cut the watermelon for the fruit salad you were making. A series of footsteps quickly revealed Kenny who was glued to his phone with furrowed eyebrows.

"What?" You take a piece of watermelon and put it in your mouth "What is it?" You chew.

Kenny walks up to you shoving his phone up close to your face. You squint trying to see the image in front of you. It was you from yesterdays shoot, kissing Filly on the cheek as he smiled into the camera. Your eyes widened as you looked up at Kenny "And?"

"You- Look- Ah fuck," he goes back to his phone for a second before showing it again "Look at the caption."

You saw it was Twitter. Already not a good sign. And as you predicted, your mouth fell open as you finished reading the sentence:

"Damn. That's what happens when Kenny's not on the one shoot."

You look back up at Kenny and raise an eyebrow "What the hell are you doing listening to dumbass Twitter-people?" You go back to cutting the fruits, seeing as this wasn't a thing to worry about.

"This isn't the only one. That's firstly. Secondly there's rumors now that we're broken up and thirdly what the hell are you doing going around kissing other guys when you have a boyfriend?"

You were in so much shock that you had to put down your knife and lean on the counter, processing what the fuck had just been said to you.

"Fuck. You." You simply state. "That's to begin with. Also what the fuck Kenny!? It wasn't guys it was one and it's fucking Filly, now please for Christ sake tell me you're pranking me right now because you are not going to stand here and pretend like you're bothered by this." You look at him, trying to read him and his emotions, although it was quite clear that he was in fact mad.

"Yeah well they don't know that it's just Filly. And just because it's Filly, gives you no right to get all up in his face."

"Kenny you need to take a break." You chuckle dryly turning back to the cutting board.

"No the hell I don't," he pushes your shoulder, turning you around to face him.

"It's a few comments Kenny, for fucks sake just leave it alone!"

"Oh yeah? You know what else started as 'a few comments'? Hm? Our secret relationship."

You roll your eyes "We were going to reveal it anyways right?"

"I don't care."

"Ok? What am I supposed to do?"

"Definitely don't do THAT!" He held up his phone with the photo.

You cover your face with the palms of your hands and groan, still stunned that this was actually happening "Kenny its fucking Filly! You look so dumb right now I wish you knew!"

"I KNOW I LOOK DUMB! I LOOK DUMBER NOW!" He lashed out, voice booming through the whole house "It's all anyone fucking talks about. Oh Kenny's stupid. No one likes Kenny. Why is Kenny even here? Let's make an article about how everyone in the Squad hates Kenny." He mocked the comments from the internet. "Now fucking this? I just- I'm gonna- Ah fuck." He turns around and just leaves. This guy leaves! You hear him stomp up the stairs and slam your bedroom door, leaving you speechless.

You blink a few times still digesting the very emotional information that was thrown at you and decide to take a seat in the living room. You wanted to be mad, you really did, but there was just this one thing that really caught your attention. It was how focused he was on the internet's opinion, which with the jobs both of you had was a little alarming.

After a little more thinking you came to a conclusion that insecurity was what drove this whole thing in the first place. Understandable, you didn't blame him, but it was sad because how can such a special and amazing person be insecure?

It sounded absurd!

Especially with his talent, friends and status.

You felt bad for Kenny, and you could totally relate to his lack of confidence because everyone feels unsteady from time to time and with enough love and words it could easily be beaten.

As much as you wanted to go up to him and provide the comfort he so definitely needed, you couldn't stop feeling hurt by some of his words. You sigh throwing your head back against the couch.

"Fuck." You whisper, feeling the two halves of you battling inside.

You hated fighting.

It was so stressful and unnecessary, and that's exactly why you decided that you needed to go talk to Kenny. You finished cutting all the fruits, laid some out on a bowl, got a spoon and headed upstairs to Kenny.

As you got closer to the bedroom door you felt your stomach twisting into a knot. What if he tells you to fuck off? What if he doesn't want to see you at all after this? What if you break up and then you'd have toshowuponshootsanditwoukdbesoawkward!

Your mind was overthinking the future and leaving you standing right outside the door with a bowl of fruit in your hands feeling like the last idiot on the planet. It really took all of your courage to bring your knuckles up to the door and knock. Even though there was no response, you slowly opened the door and peeped in, seeing Kenny on the bed. You sighed noticing his frowned eyebrows as he scrolled through his phone.

"Kenny," you slowly sat down on the other side of the bed, not taking your eyes off of him. He didn't even look at you.

You fought your intrusive thoughts that were saying to just throw the bowl of fruit at his face and call him a dickhead.

"Look I'm sorry, I didn't think that things would spiral into something like that."

"Of course you didn't." He mumbled.

"Oh fuck you!" You exclaimed "Maybe you wouldn't be so fucking bothered if you grew a pair!"

His expression turned from angry to shocked real quick.

"What were you born fucking yesterday? It's the internet! I've seen shit way more fucked up than tweets from tenyearolds and I'm sure you have too, so stop acting like no one loves you because everyone does. Especially me and for you to even question my loyalty is so hurtful not only to me but also to you."

Kenny was at a loss for words. On one side you just insulted him, but on the other you just said you loved him and there's wasn't anything he could say. He stared at you with wide eyes as you tried to catch your breathe from all the talking.

"Uuuhhh...." He turned off his phone and put it in his pocket, turning to you and crossing his legs "I love you too?"

There was a small pause before the two of you broke out into a series of giggles, suddenly everything was ridiculously absurd and pointless. Without words both of you agreed that this fight wasn't worth the energy.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to like- I was-" Kenny groaned in annoyance as he struggled to explain "I just felt like-"

"Insecure?" You guessed.

"Yeah...That." He scratched the back of his head feeling a little uneasy at such a strong word.

"I get it." You sigh "Peace?" You hold up the bowl of fruit with a grin.

Kenny chuckles and nods "Peace." He takes the bowl.

"And it's fair of you to get jealous of me kissing Filly."

"Jealous?" Kenny chewed with a raised eyebrow "I wasn't jealous."

"Uhuh, yeah." You smirk at him.

"Wha- Nah. I was mad," he tries to hide his smile. You roll your eyes and scooch over next to him, bringing his head down and placing your lips onto his.

"Mmm, pineapple." You noded jokingly, pretending to chew.

"Stop," he giggles nudging you.

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