#BOB means the world to me but it's such a slow burn of nothing it's not intresting I didn't bother writing most of it | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

sparklypinkflightsuit · 1 month

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Blessed Be: Chapter 1

Pairing: Detective!Bob Floyd x Reader

WitchAU

Summary: You get to know Bob better, and your mother drops a bombshell.

Warnings: Witchcraft, Magic, Swearing, Sexual Themes, Smut, Alcohol, Angst, Fluff, Slow Burn, I think that’s it?

-Prologue Here-

————————————

You were flitting around your kitchen when you felt it again, the hairs on the back of your neck standing straight. The goosebumps followed not long after, and you stopped what you were doing to look out into the dark garden. It was no use, the night was black and the new moon did little to illuminate anything. You snapped your fingers and the lanterns in the large garden flickered on.

Nothing.

“Moooom!” You called upstairs. Sally, your mother, thundered down the stairs, her reading glasses slipping down her nose.

“What Bree?” She hissed. You had clearly interrupted her spells, again.

“I have that weird feeling again, and I can’t figure out why.” You pouted.

Your mom sighed, and closed the distance to the kitchen, pulling her cardigan tighter around her.

“Ok do you think it was definitely that man-“

“Bob.”

“Do you think it was definitely Bob that made you feel that way?” She asked, arms crossed but her gaze tough but loving.

You nodded, “Yeah, I mean I think so. I’ve never felt anything like that before, so… it must have been.” You shrugged.

“Well maybe it happens when he thinks about you, the aunts said that certain witches have the ability to sense when they’re on someone’s mind.”

“Ok but then why hasn’t it happened before? I’d like to think he’s not the very first person ever that’s at least had a fleeting thought of me.” You smirked.

Just then a broom in the corner of the kitchen fell with a loud clatter on the stone floor.

You and your mom both looked at each other with wide eyes.

“Company.” You said in unison, and made your way to the front door.

It was only you and your mom now, your two sisters had moved away, Aunt Gillian had decided to travel the world, and the aunts had retired to a beautiful cottage in the French countryside. Your father, Gary, had sadly died not long after in a boating accident, and your mother blamed the curse that befell all men who loved an Owens woman.

You supposed that you should start your own life, being an adult woman and all, but when your sisters left and your father died, your mom needed you, and truth be told you needed her just as much. You took over the shop for her so that she could focus on her spells, something she stopped altogether when her world fell apart.

You reached the front door and you both stood on the porch and waited.

Waited for whoever was about to drive up to the big white house on the cliff.

You waited for so long that the soup on the stove bubbled over and hissed against the open flames, and you were about to chalk the broom falling over to a gust of wind, and go back to your cooking, when suddenly two headlights pulled up the drive and the car parked in front of the garden gate.

You held your breath for whoever was going to step out of the car, however you already knew it was him. You could feel it.

————————————

Bob had given up on sleep long before he grabbed his keys and climbed into his car. He didn’t know where he was going but the pull was too strong to ignore and he decided following it was his only option.

He drove through the darkness slowly, the quiet streets dotted with cosy houses, illuminated by late night tv watchers or new lovers talking at dimly lit kitchen tables into the early hours of the morning.

Bob knew it was nearly midnight, but he didn’t know what else to do. The only way to describe the feeling was that it was similar to an intense hunger, one that he couldn’t ignore, only it wasn’t hunger he was feeling. He was starved for something he couldn’t understand.

Before he knew it, Bob was pulling up to a big white house on a steep cliff side, glowing from the inside with soft yellow light, beckoning him, comforting and warm. He felt like he was in a trance when he parked the car, no longer in control of his actions.

He climbed out of the vehicle and stared at the giant house, not noticing the two women staring at him from it.

“Bob?” One of them suddenly called, it was you.

Bob snapped out of his trance and his eyes found you.

“Bree?” He asked, confused. “You… you live here?” He stuttered.

You nodded, a silence filling the garden between you as you both stood wondering what he was doing here. “Wanna come in for dinner?” You asked kindly, sensing his confusion was likely more than yours.

“Uh… it’s- it’s Midnight though?” He chuckled nervously.

“Ah! You’re right, I better get the midnight margaritas started.” Your mother clapped, running back inside.

Bobs eyes were as wide as saucers, his mind going a mile a minute. He wasn’t sure why he was here, or what had drawn him to you. He didn’t understand why you seemed so calm about everything and why you were inviting a total stranger in for dinner and drinks at midnight.

What confused Bob more than anything is that his feet began to move before his mind caught up, before he had even agreed to come in. He wondered if the internal force had suddenly overpowered him, or if he really just wanted to see you that badly that his body made the decision for him, but he wasn’t fighting it anymore.

———————————

You closed the door behind Bob as he smiled at you and took in the inside of the house.

“Your house is beautiful.” He mumbled, his large hand running through his hair in an attempt to neaten the unruly strands as he looked around the warmly lit interior.

“Thanks. It’s my moms. Let me introduce you properly.” You beckoned for him to follow you into the kitchen.

“Mom, this is Bob. Bob, this is my mom, Sally.” You smiled.

Bobs eyes went wide as he realised the woman beside you was your mother. She had barely aged a day since you were born and looked more like a slightly older sister. He realised he was being impolite and gave your mom a smile, sticking out his hand to shake hers.

“Nice to meet you ma’am.” He said.

Your mom chuckled and pulled him in for a hug. “Please, call me Sal.” She said, then released him and turned back to where she was stirring the soup.

Your face went a bright shade of crimson and you wanted to remind your mom that you’d only met Bob once, and not to get too comfortable, but something inside you stopped the thought in its tracks when Bob turned to look at you again. His soft blue eyes burned heat into your skin and again, he felt so familiar you were suddenly overwhelmed with comfort.

“Shall we go sit on the porch while we wait?” You offered gently. Bob nodded and followed you out to the back, the sound of the waves below and crickets chirping made for a calming ambiance alongside the still lit lanterns.

You beckoned for Bob to sit on the swinging chair and you took to a rocking chair next to it, close enough to see the freckles that dotted his tanned cheeks but still far enough to be deemed respectable for a stranger.

“So what brings you here Bob? Need more candles?” You joked, a soft smile adorning your lips. You wrapped your cardigan slightly tighter around you as a cool breeze wafted across the porch.

“I… this is embarrassing but, I don’t actually know why I’m here. The last few days… my heads been all over the place, you know? I just up and left my job, my home, and just drove. I ended up here somehow and something told me to walk into your store yesterday. Then tonight, I couldn’t sleep and I got in my car, and…” He chuckled nervously as he rubbed his stubbled jaw, fully aware of how crazy he must have sounded to you in that moment.

You smiled, “That’s not embarrassing. Sounds like you just have a restless mind and curiosity for things.” You shrugged, sitting back in the rocking chair. You downplayed what you really thought was happening, you weren’t about to scare the handsome man away with your spiritual ramblings. Surely a sane man such as himself wouldn’t actually believe in fate, magic and spells.

Bob smiled back at you, then shook his head lightly. “Thing is, both times I’ve ended up in front of you. Think that’s just a coincidence?”

You bit your cheek and thought for a moment on how best to word what you were thinking, “Ok, so you’re just a stalker then?” You joked, eliciting a loud chuckle from Bob, his eyes sparkling at your unexpected humour.

“In all honesty Bob, I think there are certain pulls and pushes in this universe that we can’t really explain. Who are we to question them?” You said earnestly.

Bob nodded, you had just summed it up perfectly, the feeling he’d felt his entire life. “Yeah, you’re right.”

Before Bob could say anything else, your mom popped her head out the door and handed you each a margarita. You both thanked her and she disappeared back inside to finish dinner.

“So midnight margaritas huh?” Bob laughed. “Is it a special occasion?”

You laughed back, “No, we just do this sometimes. It’s sort of a family tradition.”

Bob nodded and you spoke for a while about your family and his. You learnt he was a detective like your dad, and that he enjoyed the beach, gardening and actually wore glasses most of the time, if he couldn’t be bothered to put in his contacts.

He listened to you speak about your love for animals and botany, and that the store was a family business.

After a while your mom called you both in to eat, and the three of you chatted while you did so.

At about 3am you walked Bob to his car.

“Thank you again for tonight, it was… different, but I really really enjoyed myself.” He smiled that crooked smile, his eyes burning into yours.

“Thank you for coming. It was nice to have company for once.” You smiled, your arms wrapped around yourself to keep the cool spring breeze from freezing your skin.

“Drive safe, Bob.” You said, but it was more of a spell to ensure he really was safe. You turned to walk back to the house.

“Bree, what are you doing tomorrow?” Bob asked suddenly, a tinge on nerves in his deep voice.

You turned to face him.

“Not much, why?” You queried.

“I was wondering if you’d like to go to lunch, with me? I still don’t know the area much, would be nice to have a tour guide.” He chuckled.

You grinned at the night sky as you contemplated his offer, but it didn’t take you long.

You nodded as you looked back down at him, “Sure. Pick me up at 11.”

Bob tried to stifle his smile by biting his lip, and opened his car door. “See you then.”

You watched as he drove off, leaving nothing but dust and excitement in the air.

You walked back into the house and found your mom reading at the kitchen table.

“Hey.” You said with a grin as you sat down.

“You didn’t tell me he was a looker.” She grinned down at her book.

“Yeah, he is handsome as hell. He’s a detective like daddy was.” You smiled, your chin resting longingly in your palm as you rested your elbow on the table.

Your moms eyes lifted from her book suddenly and she shot you a look.

“What?” You asked, straightening defensively in your seat.

“You don’t remember?” She asked.

“Remember what, mom?” You mirrored her expression with your own look of confusion.

“Honey, when you were little you summoned a true love spell, just like I did when I was little.”

Your eyes suddenly lit up as you remembered.

“Amas Veritas.” You both said in unison.

“Oh no.” You breathed.

“You wrote down that your true love would be a detective just like your daddy was.” She confirmed, putting her book down and taking off her glasses.

Suddenly the memory came back to you, and you clasped your hand over your mouth in realisation.

“And that he would wear glasses, love the sea, and someone who would enjoy gardening with me.” You whispered almost to yourself.

Although you didn’t write your spell so that it would be impossible to find your one true love, like your mom thought she had done when she was young, you hadn’t expected your spell to actually have worked. You had written down the features and requirements of your dream guy at the time, a cute, shy, nerdy kid. Over the years your idea of the perfect man had moulded and changed, but at the back of your mind you had always preferred the shy bespectacled man you’d dreamt of as a kid.

“I guess that would explain why he’s in town.” She sighed.

“No, I can’t do this. Not with the curse, mom.” You suddenly wanted to cry when you realised what this had meant.

The curse on the Owens women was still very much alive. Your mother had thought she’d broken the curse when she met your dad, but sadly he still befell the same fate as all men who love a woman in your family. The moment the ticking of the deathwatch beetle sounds, their fate is inevitably sealed.

“So what do you think you’re going to do? Just live your life not knowing what great love you could have had?” She asked, sadness in her eyes and a disapproving frown on her lips.

“If that means I don’t cause the death of some poor unsuspecting man, then yes, mom. Especially Bob, he’s far too kind to be subject to something as horrible as that. Plus, we don’t even know for sure he’s the one.” You lied, you knew without a shadow of a doubt that Bob Floyd was the man you’d dreamt of your entire life, the man you’d inadvertently linked to you for all of eternity. You knew him without knowing him, the familiar face of a stranger.

“Fine, suit yourself honey, but I was like you once. I told myself after my first husband died that I would never again subject myself or anyone else to something like that. But then your dad came along, and believe me when I say there’s no hiding from it. You will know when he’s the one, because you won’t be able to stop it.” She warned softly, flicking through the pages of her book.

You excused yourself and said goodnight to your mother, before ascending the stairs to your bedroom. You sat on your windowsill and stared down at the winding road below that led to the little town, some lights still aglow, and wondered if one of them was Bobs room, and if he was still as wide awake as you were. You had decided that after your lunch date tomorrow, you would say goodbye and make it clear that you could no longer see him. You were sure he’d be fine with this, as he was probably just a lonely tourist after a little friendship.

Little did you know that Bob Floyd was not planning on leaving any time soon, at least not without you by his side.

————————————

- Chapter 2 Here -

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rip-quizilla · 11 months

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Impossible to Hate You ~ Part 2

Pairing: Eddie Munson x fem!Reader

Summary: You realize that getting along with Eddie Munson is as effortless as breathing. Eddie sets a hard rule for himself for your burgeoning friendship.

Word Count: 5.5k

Tags for Entire Fic (from AO3): Friends to Lovers, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Inspired by When Harry Met Sally (1989), Slow Burn, Romantic Fluff, Good Friend Robin Buckley, Unresolved Romantic Tension, Eddie Munson Lives, Alternate Universe - No Upside Down (Stranger Things), Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, no one dies, Reader-Insert

Part 1

Part 2

Spring, 1983

Monday morning was somehow normal, yet different at the same time.

You’d always known Eddie’s locker was near yours. You’d seen him in the hallways, usually one of the last stragglers ambling through the corridors as if he weren’t about to be late to class- but to you, he’d just as well have been in a different world. You’d never noticed how he always double-checked that his locker was closed by hitting it with the side of his closed fist before he locked it. Never noticed that he didn’t actually carry around a backpack most of the time, he just grabbed whatever ratty old textbook or fraying spiral notebook he needed from his locker and carried it to class in one hand. Now… it amazed you that you had ever been capable of overlooking Eddie Munson. The edges of every other person in the halls of Hawkins High seemed to fuzz and fade, leaving Eddie sharp and vivid, the lone focus of his own vignette. He was leaning up against the door to his locker and bobbing his head to the beat of whatever song played on his Walkman. His curls wisped forward, backward, softly brushing his shoulders and creating a shadowy curtain over his distracted eyes that glazed over while classmates passed him by-

“Are you staring at Eddie Munson?”

Robin’s voice cut you free of the trance you’d accidentally entered, and you blinked a few times while readjusting to reality. “Why would I be staring at Eddie Munson? That’s random.”

Robin raised an eyebrow, glancing between you and the object of your not-so-subtle staring. “I agree, it is random.” She dropped her voice to a conspiratorial whisper, blocking Eddie from your sight and looking at you with eyes that very clearly said ‘Spill’. “So why the random staring? Did he do something? You know, besides the normal Eddie stuff like yelling in the cafeteria and being a menace in general-”

You laughed and shook your head, reaching into your own locker to grab what you needed for your first class of the day. “I wouldn’t use the term menace… I mean he’s actually not a bad guy. You know he gave me a ride home after I finished up in the theater department on Friday? And I didn’t even ask him, he just thought it wouldn’t be safe for me to walk home in the dark-” You shut your locker door to reveal Robin Buckley’s face, just painted with shock.

“You mean to tell me that you rode home in Eddie Munson’s car,” Her voice strained to maintain a whisper’s volume, and you prayed a silent ‘thank you’ that he was wearing headphones right now. “-and I’m just now finding out about it three days later?” Robin’s hands grasped your shoulders and shook. “I need details now, what were you guys even doing in the same room together at school on a Friday night?”

Your eyes flitted back to Eddie over Robin’s shoulder, checking to make sure that he was still too engrossed in whatever he was listening to to overhear the two of you talking about him. “Cool it, Buckley, he is literally right there.” You whispered the warning sharply through clenched teeth. “It’s nothing to write home about , honestly,” you shoved your things into your backpack, shrugging as if to emphasize how not a big deal this all was. “I was finishing up some sets for the play and he was running his dragon club thing, then when I mentioned I was walking home he offered me a ride.” Standing up straight, you shouldered your bag with a curt exhale. “That’s all that happened, I’m just saying he was nice enough to give me a ride home, so he must be a nice guy.”

“Yeah, or…” Robin’s mouth turned up in a knowing smirk, “...he was making a move-” The sentence was cut short by your no. 2 pencil pressing up against her lips. “I’m gonna stop you right there, Buckley.” You interrupted, rolling your eyes at how quickly your friend was trying to play matchmaker. “He was being a friend. We are friends now, that is all.” You stressed the last syllable, praying that she got the message.

Judging by her facial expression, she still wasn’t convinced. You yanked your pencil away from her mouth just in time to save it from her teeth as she jokingly tried to bite it. You laughed, casually checking for Eddie one more time and releasing a breath you didn’t realize you’d been holding when you saw the space he’d been occupying now empty.

Robin snaked her arm through yours, walking elbow to elbow with you towards your homeroom. “Maybe you’re right,” she conceded, voice lifting in an airy sort of way. “All I know is that the last time a guy offered me a ride, he was talking to my boobs.”

“Maybe he wanted to be friends with your boobs, then.” you shrugged.

Robin scoffed, nodding in agreement. “Oh I think that’s exactly what he wanted.” She made a show of shaking as an exaggerated shiver ran through her. “Ugh. Ew.”

Eddie exited the boys’ restroom just in time to hear your laughter ringing through the halls. It caught him off guard, his headphones in hand and hovering around his head as he poised to place them back over his ears, but then he heard your laugh.

When his eyes found you, the sight melted the edges of his stone-cold heart a little bit- you were arm in arm with that tall girl from band- Buckley, he’s pretty sure- your head thrown back, eyes scrunched closed, nose wrinkling, smiling wide as your laugh bounced musically among the sound of lockers slamming shut and footsteps shuffling to classrooms. Time slowed, his heartbeat skipped- he had made you laugh a couple times, but never like that. And he wanted to. He had no fucking clue why, but he wanted to hear that laugh every day. He wanted to be the one to elicit that much joy from you, to make your nose scrunch like that, to make you smile so big that he could see every tooth.

Recognizing this as a completely random and unnecessary train of thought, Eddie placed his headphones back on his ears as he made a mental note to learn where you sat during lunch.

Not because he wanted to sit with you or anything… he just wanted to know.

***

Nothing else changed until Wednesday.

You were sitting in your normal lunch spot- nestled in the soft green grass, leaning back against the trunk of the black cherry tree behind the school. You pulled your knees up to your chest and reveled in the way the springtime sunlight filtered through bright green leaves and tiny white flowers. In a word- it was heaven. And It was yours alone.

Until the soft scent of freshly blooming flowers began to mingle with the scent of cigarettes and Irish Spring- a smell you were now beginning to instantly recognize as Eddie.

“To what do I owe the pleasure?” You asked airily, taking a bite of your sandwich as Eddie leaned against the trunk of your tree, arm dangling nonchalantly. He smirked down at you as he surveyed what used to be your private lunch spot.

“I was wondering why I never see you in the cafeteria.” Eddie supplied, glancing up at the abundance of white flower petals that dotted the branches of the tree above your heads. It wasn’t a big tree, but big enough to provide shade with a trunk wide enough that you rested against it comfortably. “Cozy little spot you’ve got here.”

You smiled to yourself, answering through your bite of cucumber sandwich. “Yeah… I love it out here. The only downside is how easy it is to lose track of time- I actually didn’t wear a watch until I started spending lunches so far from the bell.” Eddie snorted, plopping down next to you on the surprisingly comfortable patch of grass.

“I am amazed that you’ve been able to get through seventeen years of your life without ever wearing a watch.” he laughed before- to your horror- beginning to poke through your lunchbox. You swatted his hand away like you would an unwanted pest, but not before he was able to swipe the other half of your sandwich. Without pausing for even a moment, he bit into the soft wonderbread and before you could protest, he took a couple of chews then promptly screwed up his face and spat the wad of chewed-up sandwich at the ground.

“The fuck kind of sandwich is this?” Eddie practically screeched, inspecting the insides of your cucumber sandwich with the utmost scrutiny. He peeled the sandwich apart, grimacing and holding the food gingerly between his thumb and forefinger.

While you were certainly frustrated that he was currently mangling half of your lunch, you couldn’t stop the laugh that bubbled out through your words. “It’s a cucumber sandwich, it’s just cucumbers and this mix of cream cheese with a bunch of herbs and stuff.” Eddie’s grimace only grew into an expression of pure disgust with each word you said. “What,” you laughed harder. “You don’t like cucumbers?”

Dropping the remnants of your now deconstructed sandwich back into your lunchbox, Eddie shook his head and wiped his hands on his ripped black jeans. “What I like are normal American sandwiches. What do you have against a classic ham and cheese?”

You smirked, taking a bite from an apple you’d brought to accompany your sandwich. “I’m a vegetarian.”

A second ago, Eddie had been disgusted. Now, he looked appalled. “I’m sorry to break this to you, but I don’t think this friendship is gonna work out.”

There was a smile tucked into the outer corners of his big brown eyes, and you knew there wasn’t any real finality to his words.

You played along anyway. “Damn, another friend lost because of cucumbers.”

Eddie’s shoulders shook in a silent chuckle, smiling wide and leaning in closer. “Okay, well now I need to know what happened to the last one.”

“Choked on a cucumber.” you said without thinking, “It was tragic really, a devastating loss.”

Eddie’s eyes widened just the slightest bit, his lips curling upward slowly.. After a second, you realized the blatant sexual innuendo that one could easily derive from your joke, and once the realization set in you also found it difficult to hold your laughter back.

“I appreciate your restraint in not making a joke about that.” you bit out.

Eddie shrugged, throwing you a toothy grin. “It would’ve been too easy.”

You gazed up at the sunlight filtering in through the flower-studded branches and sighed, lips curling up to match the slyness of his grin. “You know what wouldn’t be easy?”

“Deep-throating a cucumber?”

Your grin grew, brightening your eyes and crinkling their corners. “Exactly.”

Eddie snorted, you cackled. The sounds were abrasive on their own, one guttural while the other sounded like the sort of laugh you only let out in front of family or friends who’ve known you long enough to refrain from judging you for how loud the laugh was. However, when combined, your mixed laughter sounded complete- like yours had been missing his and his had been missing yours, and neither had ever sounded right without the other.

Laughter subsided. Eyes met, flower-filtered rays of sun creating distorted bits of light across both of your faces. A bit of that light hit Eddie’s left iris at just the right angle, transforming brown into the sweetest honey.

Your breath stuttered, only slightly.

Eddie swiped the apple from your hand, taking a bite from the opposite side that you had bitten into only once. He relaxed into the tree’s bark, as if this were something you two did every day at lunch. Smiling, laughing, sharing food. You weren’t opposed to getting used to it.

“So,” Eddie said around the crunch of crisp fruit, “you hang out with Buckley, right?”

“Since we were kids.” you replied, a fond expression fluttering over your face. “You remember, she was there that Halloween where you attacked my bedroom window.”

Eddie’s hand rose to rake the hair back from his face, open-mouthed grin huffing out another laugh. “Oh man, that was so long ago,” he sighed, shaking his head. “That was Buckley? The bony-looking girl with the pigtails? OW!”

You gave him a jab with your elbow. “Rude! She was not bony!”

“Okay, fine, gangly-”

“She was an eleven-year-old!” You laughed despite yourself, shifting slightly to angle your face closer to his. “Everyone looks gangly at eleven.”

“You’ve got a point, you were pretty gangly.”

You sat up straight, eyeing him in disbelief. “There is no way you remember what I looked like when I was eleven. We didn’t even know each other back then.”

Eddie flopped over onto his stomach, balancing his weight on his elbows. “You always wore the same pair of red mary janes.” Eddie inspected the apple in his hand, twisting it in the light and admiring the way the sun shone on the waxy red peel.

“We didn’t exactly hang out, y’know… but I remember liking your shoes.” A smile tugged at the corner of his lips as he smoothed his thumb over the red fruit. “They were this exact shade of red.” His eyes flicked up to yours, smirking at your expression which must have looked completely caught off-guard, because well… you were.

“I, uh… I almost forgot about those shoes.” you nearly whispered. “I loved them so much, I think I really did wear them to shreds. I remember being heartbroken when my mom made me throw them out, but the sole was literally peeling away from the rest of the shoe, they needed to go.”

You chuckled, shaking your head at Eddie’s astoundingly good memory. “How on earth do you remember those shoes?”

Eddie rolled over, one hand resting beneath his curls, the other still holding the apple aloft, letting it glint in the sun. “I told you, I liked them. Red’s my favorite color, you know.”

You pulled your knees closer to your chest, relaxing against the tree trunk with a comfortable exhale. “Did you ever have something like that? A piece of clothing or pair of shoes you loved so much, you wanted to wear it every single day, never cared if it was dirty or not?”

Eddie thought for a minute, then answered decisively, “This jacket, probably.” You inspected his jacket further, the black leather slightly faded but definitely in good condition. He obviously took care of it, the zippers on the cuffs shone silver in the sunlight, and while the material was beginning to crinkle at the elbows, the wear did nothing to diminish the quality of the piece.

“It’s nice.” you said softly. “Come to think of it, I don’t think I’ve seen you without it since we started high school.”

Eddie smiled fondly, “My uncle Wayne gave it to me for Christmas one year. I must have been, I don’t know, fifteen? The thing was huge on me at first, but I’d say I grew into it nicely.” Stretching his arms up to the sky, he surveyed the dark leather until the face of his watch caused his eyes to bulge. “Shit, we gotta go, lunch ended five minutes ago.”

Frantically, you checked your watch too, cringing when you saw that he was right. Hurriedly, you shut the metal clasps on your tin lunchbox and a few seconds later, you were both on your feet and rushing toward the lunchroom doors.

“Hey, um-” Eddie said, “If you ever wanna sit inside, don’t, ah… don’t hesitate to-” you turned to look at him, a half-smile playing at your mouth at the sight of this brash boy suddenly stumbling over his words.

“You saying I can sit with you?” You supplied. Eddie smiled, his face unable to hide his relief that you’d read his mind.

“Well, when you ask so nicely, it would be a crime to deny such a request.” Eddie waggled his eyebrows to match his wolfish grin. You laughed, shoving him softly. You rolled your eyes when he opened the door for you, gesturing overdramatically for you to enter and bowing low as if you were an empress and he your humble servant.

“And I guess if you ever crave the peace and quiet of my lunch spot,” you drawled, “I wouldn’t be too inconvenienced by the company.”

Dark eyebrows drawn together by a crinkle and a sarcastically serious expression, Eddie clasped his hands behind his back while he nodded his head. “Oh and I would hate to inconvenience you.”

“I know you would.” you nodded, matching his energy effortlessly. Both of your serious expressions cracked to make way for soft laughter simultaneously. You both arrived at your lockers quickly, your steps rushed out of fear for being late to class. The two of you opened your respective lockers, and the sounds of metal opening and closing rang through the nearly empty hallways.

The moment you were sure yours was locked, Eddie called out “Hey!”, to which you glanced over your shoulder at him just in time for him to toss something in your direction, which you miraculously caught with ease. You looked down at your hand to see your apple, once bitten on each side. You quirked an eyebrow at your peculiar lunch partner.

“You can finish it, I ate more than you did out there.” you said, but Eddie was already walking away, hand in the air waving you off.

“Keep it, vegetarian, can’t have you going anemic on me.”

You laughed softly, shaking your head. “See you, Eddie.” He spun around, walking backwards with his hands in his pockets and eyes on the ground after flicking up to yours for barely a second. “See ya.” he muttered, and that smile that caused his full lips to quirk up to one side was starting to become familiar in a way that made your chest feel full.

Once you were out of each other’s sight, you turned the apple over in your hand, studying the bites on each side. You could see from the marks left by his teeth that Eddie had an overbite. That he must really like apples, because the bite was sizable, the opposite of tentative. You could see that the light shone a little brighter around the bite where the juice from the apple must have seeped out onto his tongue when he bit into the fruit. You felt a strange sense of warmth thinking about the flavor of this thing held in your hand still lingering in his mouth.

Taking one last look at your twin bites, you lifted the apple to your lips, adding a third bite between his and yours. The sweet juice from the apple flooded your taste buds, and you felt something within you hum contentedly as you raced to beat the bell.

***

The cafeteria on Thursday was buzzing with the noise and energy of a hundred antsy Hawkins teens. Eddie plopped his ass down at his usual seat at his usual table, reaching into his pocket eagerly to grab the two Slim Jims he’d swiped from the pantry before rushing out his trailer door that morning. He remembered to bring a lunch sometimes, but most often defaulted to eating whatever slop the lunch ladies had to offer… if it was edible. Today, he had taken one look at the styrofoam cup filled with what was supposed to be chicken pot pie (it looked more like jizz mixed with peas and carrots, complete with a square of pie crust floating on top) and knew he would just have to deal with a growling stomach until he got home from school.

He was just about to peel open the first stick of jerky when divine providence dropped a gift down on the table in front of him. He paused, surveying the shining tin lunchbox sitting on his table- black with a bright red handle, the logo for Star Wars spelled out across the front accompanied by the image of a TIE Fighter firing at an X-Wing.

Eddie’s friends were already seated with their lunches at the table, and he followed their confused expressions to see you crossing behind him to take the empty seat by his side. The entire table remained silent.

You proceeded to open your own lunch- a simple green and blue thermos that held what looked to be a mixture of beans and rice. You opened up the collapsible spoon that attached to the lid and looked about ready to dig in when you took notice of the deadly silence, as well as every pair of eyes trained on you.

You glanced at the flabbergasted teens, then raised an eyebrow at Eddie. “Didn’t tell your friends that you invited me to sit with you?”

Eddie’s eyes were wide still, but his open mouth turned up at the corners as he placed his hands on the Star Wars lunchbox, turning it this way and that under his appraising gaze. “Ignore them” He held the lunchbox up beside his face, puppy dog eyes shining in full force. “Is this for little old me?”

You rolled your eyes. “Well yesterday, you pillaged my lunch because you’re obviously a starved dumpster raccoon,” you heard a snort a few seats down from you, though you didn’t look to see which Hellfire member approved of your sense of humor. “-so I made you your own. You can thank me by keeping your hands off my red beans and rice.”

“I didn’t know we’d have a guest joining us today.”

The voice came from the head of the table where Rick had just taken his seat. As the oldest member of the friend group, Rick had inherited the coveted spot at the head of the table. While Eddie loved Rick like a brother, he couldn’t lie and say that he wasn’t just itching for the greasy-looking drug dealer to finally walk the stage in a couple months and bequeath that seat to Eddie. The rest of the guys already looked up to him- Hellfire was his, since Rick had never wanted any part in it, so from the moment he’d assumed the mantle of Dungeon Master last year, Hellfire had unofficially belonged to Eddie. Now, Rick was the only senior in their little group, so come next year- Eddie would be king of the table. It was small, and in the grand scheme of things it didn’t matter- but Eddie ached for that seat nonetheless.

You eyed Rick curiously, chewing on a bite of your rice and beans. “Eddie extended an invitation yesterday.” You raised an eyebrow, leaning forward slightly toward the senior. “Was I supposed to fill out an application or something…?” Your tone was light, joking. Rick’s eyes took you in, and it irked Eddie a bit that Rick seemed to think he had some sort of final say about whether or not you were allowed at the table- this was just as much Eddie’s table as it was his, right? What did he care if someone new joined your group for lunch every once in a while?

Rick hmphed and relaxed into his chair, apparently deeming you worthy of keeping your seat. When he made no moves to answer your quip about filling out an application, you made a face and proceeded to continue eating your lunch. You leaned closer to Eddie, whispering to him out of Rick’s earshot “He always like this?”

Eddie smiled, toying with the shiny clasps on the Star Wars lunchbox. “Eh, he has his moments. But I am far more interested in what treasures lurk inside this box…” His thumbs flicked open both clasps, then looked suspiciously at you through his overgrown curly bangs. “This isn’t a mimic, is it?”

You snorted. “What?”

“Like, is this thing going to try and eat me when I open it?”

Judging by the chuckles from a couple other tablemates, there was some sort of joke you weren’t getting. You smiled wryly and shook your head. “No,” you laughed, “hopefully it’ll be the other way around, unless you have some kind of aversion to homemade chocolate chip cookies.”

Eddie’s eyes widened before practically ripping the lid of the lunchbox off its hinges. You laughed at the excited little gasp that escaped him when he saw the ziploc bags holding a ham and cheese sandwich, two cookies, apple slices, and a little juice box. Turning those doe eyes to you, Eddie held up the sandwich like it was a precious commodity.

“The vegetarian made me a ham and cheese sandwich,” he smiled. “Have I converted you to the dark side?”

You rolled your eyes. “I can handle touching it, I just don’t want to eat it.”

Oh. Oh that did not come out right.

Eddie’s lips pressed together, cheeks ballooning with a laugh that fought to breach the surface. You, however, couldn’t hold back a snort. You braced your elbow on the table, forehead resting in your hand as you shook your head in disbelief. “God, that one was bad.” Your shoulders shook, laughing at yourself along with Eddie, whose laughter had burst forth after you’d given him permission with your own self-deprecating humor.

Lunch flowed smoothly from there- the rest of the table fell into an easy rhythm of conversation, and you didn’t mind the jokes that went over your head, the way these boys discussed movies you hadn’t seen and asked Eddie questions about his plans for their upcoming Dungeons & Dragons session tomorrow. Before you knew it, you found yourself feeling comfortable at the Hellfire table. Eddie tore his way through the lunch you’d made him, even going as far as to moan dramatically when he bit into one of the cookies. He’d rolled his eyes back and thrown his entire weight in your direction, going limp against you as he chewed reverently on the sweet confection.

“Holy fuckin’ shit,” he’d groaned, a couple of crumbs falling onto his lapels. “Bury me in these cookies, I’ll die happy and regret nothing.” You’d laughed, struggling to shove him away while he made a show of dying dramatically only to resurrect, take another bite, then die again.

People didn’t usually pay attention to the “freak” table during lunch, but if anyone did happen to glance your way that day, they would hear laughter tinkling like raindrops on a tin roof; see the seeds of a friendship beginning to bud in the most unlikely of places.

A few minutes before lunch ended, you proclaimed that you had a question about last night’s homework and needed to leave a few minutes early for class. Eddie thanked you for the lunch, adding in a more serious tone that you really didn’t need to make him lunch and that he owed you for the cookies, to which you replied that he could thank you by giving you a ride home after Hellfire tomorrow.

“I was already planning on it.” he’d replied with a grin.

When you’d taken your leave of the table, Rick spoke up for the first time since your exchange at the beginning of lunch. “So is your girlfriend sitting with us going to be a regular thing now?” Other conversations at the table ceased, everyone’s curiosity piqued by Rick’s mention of the elephant in the room. Eddie Munson, bringing a girl to sit with his friends at lunch? This was uncharted territory.

Eddie bristled. “Who said she was my girlfriend?” he narrowed his eyes at Rick, shoving his hands in the pockets of his leather jacket.

Rick leaned in, raising an eyebrow as his voice took up a teasing tone. “Oh you’re just buddies, huh?” Eddie nodded. Rick shook his head. “Nu-uh, nope. Not possible.”

Eddie scoffed, struggling to mask his irritation. He liked Rick- most of the time- but he wished his friend would just drop the subject. “Alright man, I’ll play along. Why?”

Rick smiled smugly, relaxing back into his chair and placing both hands leisurely behind his head. “Girls and guys can’t be friends because the sex part always gets in the way.”

Jeff, a brace-faced sophomore sitting across from Eddie, muttered “They were being pretty friendly with each other-” The venomous look Eddie shot at him shut Jeff up before he could say any more.

Eddie turned back to Rick, his trademark smirk painting itself across his face as he matched Rick’s arrogant air. “What, Rick, are you so deprived that you don’t know how to be friends with a girl without trying to get in her pants?” A chorus of oooooo’s fluttered throughout the table, and Eddie felt a surge of pride when a flicker of annoyance flared behind Rick’s eyes. All it did was amp Eddie up even more.

“Unlike some men, I’m able to hold a civilized conversation with a woman without turning into a neanderthal and drooling like a dog.” Eddie crossed one leg over the other, shrugging his shoulders as he crossed his arms over his chest. “It’s not just a man’s world anymore, gentlemen, I’m just keeping with the times.”

Rick shook his head, shoving his hands into the pockets of his faded denim jeans. “Whatever you say, man. But don’t tell me if she asked, you wouldn’t be all over that.”

Keeping his cool, Eddie shook his head and retained his cool composure. “Please,” he scoffed, “like anyone could handle all of this.” Eddie gestured to the entirety of his person, adding a hair flip for good measure. Even Rick couldn’t hold back his laughter at that.

“Yeah, you’re full of shit, Munson.” Rick chuckled. Eddie placed his elbows on the table, chin resting on his fists as he fluttered his eyelashes at Rick, who laughed even harder and gave Eddie a shove. The rest of the table also descended into laughter, and all was well now that the tension between the two oldest Hellfire members had subsided.

However, as Eddie exited the cafeteria with the rest of his friends, he couldn’t stop thinking about what Rick had said.

Girls and guys can’t be friends because the sex part always gets in the way.

Was that true? It was such an archaic way of thinking in Eddie’s opinion, and he had no doubt that men and women were, in theory, perfectly capable of having sexless, platonic relationships with each other.

But could he? With you?

Eddie could admit that when he’d been a kid, he had felt those familiar pre-pubescent butterflies when you’d shoved him to the ground on Halloween all those years ago. But the confusing feelings of a thirteen-year-old boy and the effortless way the two of you had begun to fit together like puzzle pieces whenever you spent time together- they were completely unrelated.

Besides, Eddie remembered the conversation you’d had last week in his van. How you’d said if someone like him were to start seriously dating somebody at school, everyone would talk about it. A friendship might make the wrong people take notice of you, and if that happened Eddie would handle it… somehow. He didn’t want to see you go through the bullying he’d had to endure his whole life. He wouldn’t wish that on anyone, much less someone he cared about.

It hit Eddie then… the strange fact that he did, indeed, care about you.

As a friend.

As long as things stayed that way, you could come and go from his little group as you pleased. You were free to be his friend when you felt like it, but could extricate yourself from him when it mattered. When it was dangerous to be a freak. You were safe that way; if by some crazy stroke of fate you decided you wanted more- decided to attach yourself to him publicly and seriously… Eddie couldn’t protect you from all the possible ramifications of a proclamation like that.

The decision had been made. As Eddie strode down the halls on his way to class, he concluded that he would be your friend. That you would be his, as long as that was what you wanted. And the sex part would never get in the way, because it would never even be an option. Even if he ever wanted that… he would never act on it. And there was no way you would ever want that either, so it would never be an issue.

That was that.

***

That night, you baked more chocolate chip cookies. You doubled the recipe to ensure that there were not only enough for every member of Hellfire to have at least two each during the session tomorrow, but also enough for Eddie to take the rest home.

And for some reason, you couldn’t wipe away the stupid little smile that kept slapping itself onto your face whenever you imagined Eddie biting into one of those cookies tomorrow, eyes rolling back in his head as he groaned about how good they tasted. Your cheeks warmed when you wondered if he would once again jokingly go limp against your shoulder, pressing into you with the full weight of his body.

If he did, you weren’t sure you’d want to push him away this time.

Part 3

#eddie munson fanfic #eddie munson x reader #eddie stranger things #stranger things fic #eddie munson #friends to enemies to lovers #when harry met sally #eddie x reader #enemies to lovers #friends to lovers

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thedepthsoffandomminds · 7 months

Text

The subtleties of the Force - part four

A/n: this part is a little shorter than normal.

You are from this world, but at a convetion you stumble into the world between worlds, eventually falling into the Star Wars galaxy. Slow burn Anakinxreader content due to reader trying to keep the timeline straight.This is a long one, as I had put all chapters below so strap in. Begins at the start of AOTCFem reader, I hope you enjoy.

Click here for part one

Obi-Wan opens his eyes, looking around himself at the cell, he is strapped to a table, his arms pulled out to the sides. Across the room he sees, you, Anakin and Ahsoka in the same positions.

"Anakin? Can you hear me?" He tries to call out without alerting any guards. Anakin lifts his head, blood stained his clothes and face.

"Obi-Wan?"

"What is happening? Anakin, your arm?" Obi-Wan's eyes were locked on to his Padawan's arm, ending just below the elbow.

"Dooku." Anakin breathed out. Exhaustion wreaking havoc through his body.

Ahsoka moves and groans against her restraints.

"Snips?" Anakin asked.

"I'm alright, master." She Huff's out the words. "We came to save you." She winced.

"Good job, snips." Anakin tried to laugh.

With your eyes still closed you listen to them, your mind danced with memories that don't feel like your own. No it's not a memory, it's what may yet come to pass.

"Anakin," you breathe out his name, "no matter what happens to us, you must choose to stop the Emperor." It hurts but you force out the words.

"Y/n, what are you? Are you…did he hurt-"Anakin couldn't finish his sentences.

"I'm alright, we're alright." You think the words and Anakin understands your meaning.

"Thank the gods." Obi-Wan sighed.

"Listen to me, Palpatine has control of Padme's mind. None of this was her fault. If she has not yet she will give up the Jedi's location." You try to keep your thoughts strong and neutral. "R2 was on the ship, we managed to get a message out to them before…before we were taken." You squirm against the table you had been strapped to feeling the sabre at your back. "You all have to stay strong." You say finally.

"You're right y/n, if we wish to be any help we cannot continue to succumb to this game." Obi-Wan agreed, "We have already weakened his side. Ventriss has been dealt with. We just need-"

A door sliding open behind you all made you each still and close your eyes. Heavy boots walked in. Ahsoka is unstrapped by the Bounty Hunter, his face still covered. He drags her toward Obi-Wan.

"Your involvement in all this caused my father's death, so I'm taking something from you." His words seathed and Obi-Wan knew who he was.

"Bob's, I'm sorry about your father but is shooting me not good enough?" He raised his head to look at him.

"I'd kill you all if they'd let me, but apparently the Emperor wants him and wants what's in her mind." Bob's laughs, "you're just a bit of fun!" Turning quickly he drags Ahsoka beside him, her strength rendered useless by the suppressor cuffs on her wrists. Her eyes look back at Obi one last time before she is dragged away. You feel the pain in Anakin's mind as a tear falls from his face and splashes the floor. The man you had fallen in love with was breaking in front you. You were supposed to stop it, it had been your reason for being there, for being in this world. Though you could no longer recall the world you came from, this world had become your home and you could do nothing to save it. You couldn't even speak.

"Is it true?" Anakin finally spoke, keeping his lowered. "Is it true what they said about the two of you?"

Your heart clenches at the words.

"I don't understand what you're asking, Anakin." Obi-Wan narrowed his eyes.

"Before I came here, someone came to me, they said you two have been, that they saw it in your minds."

"Anakin, no." Obi-Wan tried to argue.

"Is the, baby is it yours?" He finally raises his blue eyes to meet Obi-Wan's.

"Of course not! Y/n and I have only ever been friends. We have spoken about this!" Obi calls out.

"Anakin, there is no one else, only you. Obi is like a brother to me."

If he was honest those words did sting the older Jedi's pride, just a little, though he hid it well.

"I don't, I don't know what to think any more."

He is crying again and you struggle against your restraints hoping to get to him.

Imperial soldiers marched into the room surrounding the three of you. Count Dooku's foreboding body stepped into the doorway casting a long shadow across the room. Stepping you can feel the concrete he has for the two men radiating off him. Dooku walks over to Obi-Wan.

"What a disappointment you would be to my Padawan. The death of Qui-gon was a great loss to this galaxy. If only you'd done better." His deep voice cut through Obi-Wan like a blade. "Take him to the pits." He ordered. You watched as another of your friends was dragged away.

"Anakin, what do we do?" You scream into his mind. Anakin watches, fear filling every inch of flesh on him. Dooku spins to face Anakin pushing him hard against the table with the force.

"You, you are nothing. The faith the Emperor has in you is misplaced. You are not a chosen one, are you? If you were, you'd be able to stop this." His hand flew out in your direction and pain ripped through you. Though you try to scream, only a strangled echo emits from your throat.

"No, y/n, stop it!" Anakin's anger begins to rise. "leave her alone! I'll kill you!" He shouts, finally using his full powers to fight against his restraints. The metal crumples below the weight of the force and falls to the ground. Dooku backs up but does not cease the barrage of pain on your body. Anakin pushes himself off his knees and lunges forward to tackle the Count. Both fall back and you see them grapple for a moment before Anakin spins backward with a lightsaber in his hand. He ignites, the red painting his skin. He lifts the weapon ready to strike Dooku down when he hears you. Not ij his mind but your voice.

"Stop. Please don't kill him." You cry. Running to you, Anakin uses the sabre to cut your bonds and you fall against him. He struggles to hold you up with his missing limb.

"We can't leave him alive." He growls.

"Ani, no. Killing him begins your journey to the darkside. Please don't." You beg him through your mind. Anakin blinks several times, thoughts rushing through his mind and he lowers the sabre. The two of you turn to walk away when you feel a change. Swinging back and pushing Anakin aside, you dodge the Count's attack. Your body reacts before your mind understands what is happening and you have the older man on his knees, your hands wrapped around his neck. Drawing in a breath you resign yourself to this and use all the force you could muster to twist his neck, separating his spinal cord. The Count drops to the floor. Taking a few steps away from him you too drop, falling on your knees.

"Y/n? What did you do?" Anakin asks, his voice breaking.

"Anakin." Your throat has loosened enough for you to speak small words, but your heart has fallen into the pits of your stomach.

"Come on, we need to get moving. Make contact with the Jedi and find Obi-Wan." Anakin had clipped the sabre to his belt so he could hold his hand out to you. You don't want to take it, you want to where you are wolow in the self putty you were feeling.

"Y/n please?"

****************

It was in the ship whilst standing alone in the bathroom that you looked at yourself in the mirror. A small flutter in the pit of your stomach made you consider yourself. Closing your eyes you focus on your body looking through your blood and you see it, new life growing inside you, but wait that isn't just one, two new lives have begun to grow inside you.

"I'm pregnant." You think to yourself. Your body shakes with a new fear, the need to save Anakin and Obi-Wan greater than ever. There is a knock at the door and you quietly step over to it.

"Y/n, we are coming up on the third blockade." Ahsoka's voice calls through the door. You press the button to slide the door open and beckon her in before closing it once more. Unsure how to really tell her you search around yourself.

"What is it? Has something happened?" Ahsoka asks, panic filling her eyes. You shake your head and shrug. Taking her hand you do the only thing you can think of and place it on your stomach. The realisation hits her instantly.

"You're..? Oh, what does this mean? The timeline, it's back on track now that means everything will be okay." The hope she feels echoes in her voice. You shake your head.

"I don't know about that, but I have a bad feeling about this. Like I've done the opposite of what I was sent here for." You think at her.

"It will be okay, y/n we'll find them and bring them home. We did loads of missions just like this during the war." She smiles at you. Every part of you desperately wanted to believe her.

The ship shaking around you took you both out of your conversation and running to the cockpit.

"What's happening?" Ahsoka asked. Padme looked round from the pilot's seat.

"They are not accepting my credentials. I'm afraid they're coming in hot." The senator stood from her chair. "Don't worry, the troopers have been dealt with."

"Dealt with?" Ahsoka lowered her hand to her sabres.

"Please Padawan Tano, there is no need for violence." As Padme spoke a larger imperial ship docked onto the Naboo royal starship, rocking each of you slightly. You had a moment to look back at the Senator seeing her place a mask over her face before your mind fell to the noxious gas pumping in around you.

—

The Emperor's hand hovered over your head, his control over the force probing into your mind. Searching for any information you could give him.

"Hmmm yeeesss, remember it all. Show me everything."

For hours you had fought against him. Pushing against every wall he tried to break. Tears had long passed and dried on your cheeks. Your mind wriggled against the feel of his fingers worming through blurred memories until he stumbled on one. You're standing against the wall, dressed in a simple black dress, watching as your mother's coffin is lowered into the ground.

Pushing against him again the memory ripples away. Flashes of a life so far removed from this one flashed in front of both of you.

"No!" You burst the word through your mind. Closing every door, rebuilding each wall and pushing against Palpatine. Unsure of how you do it you are inside his mind. You see him as a child on Naboo, the young Sheev hiding away to watch his politician father. You feel his adoration for the Sith artefacts appearing in front of. The thrill of meeting Hego Damask and realising he was more than a businessman, more than a man at all. Yellow eyes welcomed Palpatine to the world of the Sith. You watch as Palpatine kills his own father and becomes Sidious as Sidious becomes senator, chancellor and Emperor. You see him slice through Plagueis. He takes on an apprentice, trains the Zabrak in the ways of the dark side whilst running his political career. You couldn't lie, the way he loved his double life was impressive, even to you. It wouldn't be long until Count Dooku arrived in his life and soon so did Anakin. You see him planning his course, his manipulations of the child known as the chosen one. Finally you see yourself looking back at him.

Sidious calls out in anger and reals away from you.

"How? How did you do that?" He yells at you.

You breathe heavily, exhaustion ready to take over your body.

"Enough of this. Bring me Skywalker!" He growled out men clad in red suits. How did this happen? Anakin and you had escaped your restraints, killed Dooku and were making your way to Ahsoka. You couldn't understand how everything had gone so wrong. It had been so many hours since that moment.

A broken Anakin is dragged into the room, no restraints held him as he falls limp on the ground. You try to call out to him through your mind, but he doesn't move. The Emperor laughs as he passes by you.

He waves his hand and lifts the Jedi into the air, with his other hand he releases your restraints allowing your body to flip down to the floor.

"You see here, Anakin Skywalker, I give you a choice. Join me and be my apprentice or I'll kill her." You hear his words and know what is about to happen. Pushing yourself from the ground you pull the lightsaber from behind you. The Emperor raises his hands and blue lightning bursts from his fingers. You feel the heat of it as you ignite the purple sabre, the lightning bounces off and hits the Emperor. A similar scene fancies in your memory. You chance a glance at Anakin who is no longer in the air but crumpled on the floor like he is in pain.

Of course he is in pain, he was shot and had his arm cut off, but this was a different pain. Like his mind was trapped inside the pain. Palpatine growls as the lightning courses through his own body, tensing his muscles so he is unable to stop. Slowly the power twists his flesh and he no longer looks like himself. A burst of strength goes through him and he manages to shoot a wave of force at you sending you flying backwards.

Much to your surprise you feel as a knife, a normal everyday knife slips through your skin just below your shoulder. Enough to splatter blood across the floor without touching anything major. You slump and land beside Anakin, who finally looks up.

"Y/n?" You don't hear his words as you slip unconscious.

Anakin pulls you closer to him, feeling your blood saturate his hand.

“There is but one way to save them, what is left of your family. You must choose, Skywalker.” The Emperor approached him, a hood covering his now deformed face. Defeated and broken, Anakin looks up at the man he had once thought would be a friend. A man who had enslaved a galaxy of people and taken the person who had given him hope above all others. Killed the man who had trained him and held the life of his Padawan in his hands.

“What must I do?” He asked through tears.

“Become my apprentice and destroy the Jedi order.”

“I can’t.”

“You must, or our dear Ahsoka here will die. Will you gamble her life as you did your master’s and the woman you love?”

You realise the Emperor is making him see things that are not there."

“You’re a monster.” He growls.

“No, I am an Emperor.” Palpatine cackles. “Make your choice.”

"Bow to me and kill all the traitorous Jedi."

Anakin breathes out slowly, those words, there was a warning about those words. He opened his mouth to talk, stopping when he felt it, felt you. A voice in his mind, quiet but there.

"Anakin, please. You must stay in the light. Stay with me. Anakin, I love you." His hand clutches at your body, holding as well as he can with one arm.

"I will never join you." He spits through gritted teeth.

"Then you will die with the rest of them." The Emperor laughed, throwing his head back as he did.

Anakin isn't sure what happens, there is a rush of activity, several Jedi dart around him and he briefly sees lightsabers dancing a duel. Then a ship is taking off from the platform outside. Two hands drop down to his shoulders and Obi-Wan's eyes appear in front of him.

"Give her to me, Anakin. You cannot carry her." He lets his Master pull you from his arms. Stronger arms clutch him from behind and help him to stand. Mace helps Anakin to a starship, Ahsoka behind them pushing Padme, still in her hypnotic state.

"Where is Y/n?" Anakin asks weakly when he is placed on a bed.

"She is close by. Rest Skywalker." He felt the gentle hand of Jocasta Nu stroked his hairline.

After situating you with the healers in the ship Obi-Wan drops into a chair in the main living quarters. His clothes are torn, he is missing his belt and top layer of Jedi robes. Blood stained his chest where the blaster shit had penetrated his skin. His lungs were beginning to ache with the efforts of the day.

"Well you have done, master Kenobi, rest you may now." Yoda took a seat beside him.

"How many did we lose?" He asks, sleepily.

"Too many. Waiting for us they were, once more into hiding we must all go." The grand master replied.

"Who is left?" Obi-Wan asked, not really wanting to know. Mace sat down across the room.

"Shaak-ti and Plo were killed. Kit, Eaoth Koth, Kellern Beq, Junda, Taron, and a few others are still with us. Not enough of us to fight again. We are returning to Anch-To. The younglings there need us." He announced the names and plan as if it was obvious. Obi-Wan nodded, finally dropping his head back against the chair and closing his eyes.

"We've lost." A single tear escapes his eye.

"We haven't lost, master." Ahsoka stepped up, "it's time we focus our efforts on training the new generations. Stay hidden until we are ready."

***************

Six months after losing his arm Anakin had a cybernetic one attached and held his son in his arms. He stroked back your hair as the healers helped to bring your daughter into the world. You aren't sure why but you're compelled to call them Luke and Leia. Some strange memory that clouded your thoughts. Anakin could not have been more proud of you in that moment, he would even tell people that no person in the galaxy was as strong as you.

Obi-Wan beamed with joy to see the babies, and cradled Leia against him.

"You'll be the best uncle." You say smiling up at him.

"It would be my pleasure." He laughed.

Obi-Wan didn't stay for long but helped Anakin to settle the twins into their baskets before leaving you both.

Anakin rested back on the bed beside you. His flesh hand stroking your face. ."it feels wrong to be so happy when we have all lost so much." He admits with a sigh.

"I know, there may still be a bigger fight left for us, but for now we can rest and just be a family." You say bringing his lips to yours.

"What happened at Padme's trial?" You ask.

Anakin puffed out his chest.

"It wasn't great, it took for members of the new council to break the conditioning in her mind. She is herself once more but still confined." He sighed.

"Well at least she can't hurt anyone now." You say as a yawn takes you over.

"Rest my love, I'll be right here." He pulls you into his side and you settle, his warmth comforting your aching body. You relished the feeling of him against you.

"Oh, I forgot. The mandalorians will be arriving tomorrow. We're going to set them up on the east side of the planet." He spoke quietly against your hair.

"That's good."

—

Four years later you stand by your hut watching your two children running around and laughing, Anakin chases them happily. He has recently shed the robes of the Jedi for a more comfortable linen shirt that shows parts of his chest. His sandy hair had grown longer still and curled up at the ends. Your son Luke's was beginning to grow just the same. It filled your heart with Joy to see Anakin so happy. Across from your home, Obi-Wan stepped from his own. A sleeping baby in his arms and his wife, Satine trailing behind him. When the Mandalorians had settled alongside the Jedi they had reunited and rekindled their love for each other.

There was little you remembered of your life before falling through the world between worlds. You no longer cared for it, this world had become your home. This was all that mattered to you. The threat of the Emperor grew closer with each passing year, but for now you ignored it and lived happily with your family.

—

R2's frantic beeping woke you from your sleep.

"What is it? Where is Anakin?" You ask the astromech. He whistles and wobbles his body before leading you out of the house to the temple.

"What do you mean? We've had no contact from the galaxy for years." You hear Mace state.

"Senator Organa made contact last night. He has sent a message." A droid said.

You see the flicker of a hologram and the old senator sparked into life.

"This is a message for Obi-Wan Kenobi or anyone left of the Jedi order. The Emperor has grown too powerful, you fought alongside us during the clone wars. We beg you to help us again. You're our only hope." The holographic flickers away.

"That is not much information." Mace sighs.

"There is this." Your son Luke speaks and you decide to walk into the room. He clips a data stick into the holodec and a diagnostic appears.

"They are plans for the Emperor's new ship. It's called a death star and it can destroy planets in seconds." Luke explained.

"There is a weak spot, just here," Anakin pointed to a spot on the hologram, "if we hit it, we can destroy it. We have the fighterships. We can take clone troopers and mandalorians with us."

"Very well, Skywalkers and Kenobi shall go, take as many as you see fit." Mace announced, "y/n you will go with a garrison, find the rebel base and extract everyone there."

"Yes Master Windu."

Anakin frowns at you before marching to the flight deck.

"Anakin?" You call after him.

"I don't want you to go." He said turning to you so quickly you stumble into his chest.

"Anakin, I cannot simply sit here and wait for you to come back."

He brushes your hair back from your face, wrapping his other arm around your waist.

"I know, we've been so happy, I hate that we are being thrown back into this." He beds and kisses your lips.

"If we do not go, our children will. They have strong wills and cannot be kept in one place. If we do this there may be a chance of stopping the Emperor for good." You remind him.

"I know, sometimes I forget they are almost adults. What about the little ones?" He asks, keeping you close to him. You think about it for a moment .

"Shin and Ahro will stay with the other Padawan's, little Shmi will stay with her aunt."

"I don't like leaving her, she is so young." Anakin admits.

"She is strong like her father." You bop his nose with the end of your finger. Having five children had not been the plan but a happy deviation nonetheless. Three boys and two girls were the lights of their father's eyes. He adored them with every part of his being.

"Okay you two, can you keep that mushy stuff to yourselves." You hear your eldest daughter giggle behind you. "We've got a job to do."

You and Anakin laugh.

"I'll see you on the way back in." He presses another kiss to your lips and you pull away from him. A quick hug to the twins followed by good lucks and see you soons before you climb aboard your own ship. Much larger than the fighters and ready to carry hundreds of rebels.

—--

You felt the loss of Alderan as the Laser shot through it, killing more people than you'd like to count. It shook the force and your mind.

"No time to lose, Senator Organa, are your troops ready?" You ask through the Comms. He agrees and you begin your descent to the rebel base on Yavin 4. There is a fight but the droids were old and slow so it took no time for your large ships to wipe them out.

As you guided people onto your ship from the ground you hear your husband over the the commlink in your ear.

"You guys ready? We're just about to blast this joint!" He laughed. You had to admit that this was Anakin's calling. He had always been one of the best fighter pilots in the clone wars, rivalled only now by his children.

"Almost there. Keep em busy." You laugh.the voice of a wookie catches your attention.

"Chewie!" You call out. It had been a long time since you had seen him last, years ago on Kashyyyk with Yoda. As you ran up to him the wookie threw his arms around you and pulled you into a tight hug.

"I missed you too buddy. What's going on?"

He makes a series of growls and moans in his own language and you roll your eyes.

"The Millenium falcon?" You breath out, looking at the grand ship.

"You're Solo, you made the kessel run in-"

"Under 12 parsecs!" The man called back to you. "Listen lady, it's great that you know who I am but no way am I getting on your ship when I have one of my own."

"Of course not. What's wrong with her?"

Your question takes him back a little.

"Nothings wrong, she just needs fueling." Han Solo crosses his arms over his chest.

"I have fuel tanks, spare ones. Let's get you flying." You say, an excitement for seeing the ship bubbling inside you though you can work out why. It was silly to waste time on this but how could you pass up on the chance to see the Falcon flying.

"The death star is blown! Y/n time to get going!" Anakin's voice came over the Comms and you knew something was wrong.

"Ani? Are you okay? The kids?"

"Fine we're all fine let's just get home."

******************

A new war began. The Jedi could not stay hidden any longer and into the new world of the Empire you all went. With your youngest children still safely hidden you head the army alongside your husband and Obi-Wan. Luke was now the head of the rebel flight unit and Leia had found herself as a general working alongside Senator Organa. Still even with everything going your way it didn't feel right. There was a voice niggling at the back of your head telling you something else needed to be done. Your husband must have been feeling something similar as he jumped awake, his chest rising and falling heavily.

"What is it?" You ask, rubbing his back.

"I don't know. I keep having dreams. I don't understand them." He turns to you. "They feel like memories, but not my own. It's like I'm watching things happen to me on a security feed."

"Wait." You sit fully up facing him, "you don't think you're having my memories do you?"

Anakin sighed, "I don't know."

"Should we talk to Obi-Wan?" You ask.

"Tomorrow. I want to spend more time with you, before I have to leave again." He pushes back your hair, cups your jaw in his hand and brings your lips to his. The kiss is soft and slow, like he is memorising the feel of you. He tries to ignore the communicator that beeps incessantly on the cabinet beside your bed.

"Anakin, sweetheart, we really should answer that." You say between kisses. With a word Anakin flings the communicator into the rubbish bin, which makes you giggle. He moves his mouth to your neck and your fingers grip his shoulders.

Bink bink bink

The doors bleeped, indicating someone was behind them. Anakin growled into your neck. With a soft smile you push him back.

"Duty calls my dear husband."

He drops his head down again, catching one last whiff of your scent.

"Duty calls." He huffed and stood up. Commander Cody stands outside the door.

"General Skywalker, we've had a communication from Leia, they are on Both. It has been some time since they had any contact with your son. General Solo has been sent out to find him." By the time he finished speaking you had walked up behind Anakin, panic setting in.

"Thank you Cody." He turned to you, putting his hands on your shoulders. "I'm going after him. Stay here, you're needed here."

You nod.

"Go get our boy." You say.

Anakin is gone before you have a chance to worry and you head to the command centre of your starship. The fleet you commanded was heading for Bespin, the floating cloud city planet. Intelligence had come in that a sith apprentice was there.

"Have we had any updates?" You ask the people in the room. One man in Beska armour stood. To allow you to sit.

"We have little, Madam Skywalker. But Cody and I believe we have a plan. There are several places along the underside where my team can gain entrance. We shall send you, Cody and three others of your choice into the belly."

You nod.

"Thank you Djin," you pick the troopers you want to go with you, it's an easy choice and no one was surprised. Hunter, Echo and crossfire stood behind you as you boarded the stolen Imperial shuttle. The rewired droids in the pilot seats got you easily through the landing guards.

"You ready?" Hunter asked you.

"You know, no matter how many times we do these things I've never got used to it." You admit to the four men. They laughed and shuffled about in their imperial suits. As you step out of the ship onto the landing platform you see a flamboyant man walking towards you. A cape draped over his arms, blew in the breeze.

"Welcome, welcome to Bespin. Please come in from the wind. My name is Lando Calrissian and this is my little slice of the galaxy." He assured you all inside.

"Thank you." You reply in the poshest voice you could muster. Lando leant down to you.

"I am sorry." He whispers before showing you to a door. "Please, please go in and relax a little." His eyes shift awkwardly between you all. Your heart feels like it might break though your rib cage at any moment as you press the button for the door to slide open. A man clad in a black uniform and mask sits at the long white table.

"Welcome, Madam Skywalker." You know that voice. Behind you all more men in black appeared.

"Inquisitors." Hunter Huff's out.

"Who are you?" You ask.

"You would not recognise me now, Madam Skywalker, it has been many years." He lifts his rounded mask. You could not deny the blue eyes that stared back at you.

"Dume? How? We thought you'd been-"

"Killed? No, just left for dead. The Emperor found me. He found us all."

"Alright enough with the reunions. Time to go!" One of the other Inquisitors growled, grabbing your shoulder and pulling you back to her.

"I don't think so, sunshine." Hunter pulled his gun from his belt.

Chaos broke out, the Mandalorians appeared alongside droids and everyone was fighting. You drew your lightsaber and fought as best you could, managing to put down the ninth sister. As you ran down a hall behind Cody you felt the heat of the blast shooting by your face and finding a home in Cody's back. He called out and lunged forward.

"Cody?" You drop beside him trying to pull him up.

"Y/n?" Anakin's voice comes over the communicator in your ear. "Y/n what's happening? I can't get your ship!"

"Ani! It was a trap, there are too many of them."

"Get yourself out!" Anakin's panicked voice shouted to you.

You clutch at Cody's clothes dragging him along with you, blaster shots just missing you until one hits you. Falling to the ground the last thing you hear is your husband.

"I have Luke, he's safe."

Part five - final part

Let me know if you want to be on the tag list.

@leavemeoutofitkay

#anakin x reader #anakin fanfic #anakin and padme #the skywalker saga #the skywalker family #star wars anakin #star wars #obi wan kenobi #obi wan x reader #padme amidala #mace windu #master yoda

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panicatthenightcourt · 1 year

Text

Break It- Part Three

Pairing: Elucien

Summary: Elain and Lucien find a way to express their frustrations with each other.

Warnings: SMUT, p in v, vaginal fingering, oral f receiving and, as always, Elain and Lucien are still mean.

a/n: did i edit this? absolutely not. if you see any typos...no you don’t. i will go back and edit when it’s not almost midnight here and i wanna go to bed.

Part One | Part Two | Part Three [Read on AO3]

His lips felt like a brand. The pressure was hot and heavy. Searing into her and she was burning. Everything around her fell away, all she knew was Lucien. The sweet smell of the roses faded into the heady, spiced scent of him. She knew of nothing in the world except where she was joined to him at the lips.

With a rough jerk of his head, Lucien pulled away abruptly. “I-I’m sorry, Lady,” he was shaking his head. “I didn’t- I should go.”

Lucien began to turn to leave and Elain felt a shot of irritation hit her. She swore it was of its own accord when her arm reached for him and tangled in the locks at the nape of his neck. She pulled. Hard. Lucien’s head tilted back, neck exposed to her.

She took in the golden expanse. She longed to mark it with her mouth. Elain snapped her gaze to his eyes and found them ablaze once more. Again, Elain moved her gaze. To his pants. She found the evidence of his arousal straining against them. Instinctively, Elain’s grip on his hair tightened further at the sight.

A sharp hiss left Lucien’s lips. The heat pooling in Elain’s core and the satisfaction she felt from the sound had her confidence boosting. Boosting enough to bring Lucien’s face roughly to hers.

A hair’s breadth separated their mouths. “Lucien,” Elain began. Their lips brushed on the word. “I believe you owe me an apology.”

She watched his throat bob when he swallowed. Elain was going to melt into a puddle on the floor. The male in front of her, at her mercy, was so beautiful she could hardly bear it. His chest was rising and falling rapidly, it was then that Elain realized hers was as well.

Elain locked her eyes on Lucien’s and began slowly pushing his head down. Down he went, their eyes never straying. He fell to his knees and only then did Elain stop pushing, but didn’t release her hold.

She pressed his head towards her core.

Lucien had been unusually silent, but he broke his silence then. With a whimper.

She released his head and Lucien pounced. “You have no idea how long I’ve wanted to do this,” he panted. His hands were scrambling to lift her skirts. “I have brought myself to release over the thought of tasting you, Elain.”

This time, it was Elain who whimpered.

Lucien managed to lift her skirts enough to dip his head underneath. His rough palms came in contact with her ankles. They trailed up her legs, a shiver ran down her spine. His hands gripped her thighs, he squeezed and Elain released a shaky breath. It wouldn’t be long until Lucien found how wet she was.

It was obscenely erotic. Lucien’s head beneath her skirts, standing in the middle of her flower gardens. She could feel his hot breath where it fell off his lips and onto her. The hands on her thighs traveled up to the band of her panties.

Lucien kept his movements agonizingly slow, reaching for her leg and placing it over his shoulder. Slowly, Lucien pushed her panties to the side until she was bare to him. Elain released a shaky breath.

He hummed, “You’re soaked.”

Elain could hear the smirk in his tone. She canted her hips forward and barely contained a gasp when his lips brushed the sensitive flesh. “Do something about it then.”

“With pleasure.”

A moan tore from Elain when Lucien licked a stipe up the center of her. There was something about not being able to see him that heightened Elain’s pleasure. She was utterly at his mercy.

There was nothing gentle about it, either. Lucien was devouring her as if one wrong move would have him waking from a dream. His grunts and sighs were making Elain burn.

Lucien’s lips attached to her clit and sucked. Elain’s knees buckled and his grip tightened on her when he felt it. She was so lost to pleasure that Elain let out a loud gasp when she felt his finger prodding at her entrance. A soft chuckle came from Lucien and the vibration almost had her coming undone.

“Tell me, Elain,” he murmured. He pushed his finger in. “Have you ever thought about my fingers inside you like this?” He pumped in and out. Elain was going to explode. “Does it feel like you imagined?”

She had enough of her wits about her to not give him the satisfaction. “You flatter yourself, Lucien.” She meant it as a snap, but her words were panting and breathless.

He hummed. “Wrong answer.”

Before she even knew what happened, Lucien was up from under her skirts. His eyes were blown wide, the bottom half of his face glistening from her pussy. Once glance and Elain knew his cock must have been aroused to the point of pain. Yet he looked at her, bowed and said, “Good day to you, Lady Elain.”

“I-” What the fuck was happening? As Elain watched Lucien walk away, dazed and ripped from the brink of an orgasm, a blinding rage filled her. How dare he?

Elain made her way to him with purposeful steps. When she reached him, she gripped him on the collar and turned him to face her. His wide eyes made it clear that Elain had surprised him.

“Now, Lucien,” she started. Elain found that he was putty in her hands when she made to shove him to the ground and he went willingly. “I have been very patient.”

She was watching his chest rise up and down, his russet and gold gaze jumping all over Elain’s form. It seemed he was stunned into silence, his mouth parted slightly. Gods, this male was absolutely breathtaking.

Elain climbed onto his lap, straddling him. She laid a hand on his chest and pressed him to lay on the grass. Leaning down so their mouths almost touched, Elain whispered, “But I found that I may have reached my limit.”

Lucien released a harsh breath. His gaze was now flicking between her lips and her brown eyes. “And what are you going to do about it?”

She smirked. Smirked. Elain had no idea what had gotten into her. This experience with Lucien was transforming her completely.

No, not transforming. Freeing. Freeing her completely.

“I will be taking what I want.”

Elain placed her hands at the top of his waistcoat and ripped.

Lucien’s buttons went flying, but it was not enough. Elain was frantic. She pawed at his billowy white shirt until she pulled it off of him. The golden expanse of his chest greeted her and Elain sighed at the sight.

Immediately, her hands were on him, exploring the smooth skin. Soon, her mouth joined. She leaned down and captured his nipple between her lips.

His hips bucked and he let out a strangled, “Elain.”

She hummed, licking and sucking all over his chest. Elain began to roll her hips over his. Lucien’s impressive length was utter bliss rubbing over her clit. She was panting now, as was he. Elain started scrambling with her skirts so only her lace underwear and Lucien’s pants were separating them.

It was not lost on her that Lucien was keeping his hands desperately gripping onto the grass. He was letting her have her way with him. And, fuck, did that make Elain wild with lust.

She reached down and toyed with the waist of his pants, slowing the movement of her hips to languid rolls. She slipped a finger past the band and grazed the soft skin there, the dusting of hair. Elain’s hand dipped lower.

“Elain,” Lucien panted. “Please.”

She wasn’t one to refuse him.

Elain lifted off of him enough to push his pants down as far as she could. When she lowered back onto him, all thoughts left her. There was only her and Lucien and that infuriating scrap of lace keeping them apart.

She reached down once more and moved the piece of lace to the side. Elain released a heavy sigh at the feel of Lucien’s naked cock against her folds. The little noises from Lucien were absolutely melodic. Soft whimpers, low grunts, heavy groans.

Elain was making a mess of him, coating him in her wetness. She lifted her gaze to study his face and the breath left her lungs at the sight. His gorgeous red hair splayed against the grass of her garden. His eyes screwed shut in pleasure. The flush of his cheeks. His lips open, letting out a constant litany of noises.

She couldn’t bear it. Elain was coming out of her skin.

“Lucien,” she called. It came out breathless. “I’m still waiting for my apology.” She gave a rough buck of her hips. The whimper that came from him threatened to destroy her. “Are you sorry about my vases?” Another rough grind. “My roses?”

“No, Elain,” he answered. It was jumbled and almost slurred, but she understood the dissent all the same. “I can’t say that I am.”

And that smirk appeared on her face once more. “Wrong answer.”

Elain lifted her hips and sunk onto Lucien’s cock. Gargled, choked noises came from both of them at the sensation of being joined. Elain felt so full, the stretch of him was making her see stars.

The pace she set was hard and fast. As promised, she was taking exactly what she wanted. The sounds of her moans, his grunts and their skin slapping against each other filled the rose-scented air. It only fuelled Elain’s fire.

“Elain,” Lucien choked out. She moved to look into his eyes. “Let me touch you. Please.”

She hummed. She kept her pace, the heat in her stomach building and pulling taut. She was so close already. “Are you ready to apologize?”

He growled out, “No.”

She leaned forward and tore his arms from where they were ripping the grass out of the ground. Elain placed them over his head and kept them there. Lucien threw his head back and Elain moaned at the new angle. With every move, her clit pressed perfectly against him.

“Careful, Lucien,” she whispered against his mouth. “You’re at my mercy now.”

It seemed Lucien was regaining his fire when he responded with a thrust of his hips. Elain yelped and fell forward, her chest flush with his. The movement of his hips was slow. Pushing into her with ease, as if he had all the time in the world. She was going to die.

Elain was in danger of becoming a mewling mess.

“I will not apologize.” Lucien’s hips began to snap. “I won’t apologize, Lady Elain, because if a few broken vases and some torn roses would get me here then I would do it all again in an instant.”

Elain gasped at his words and at the frantic speed of his hips. The pressure in abdomen was so taut, she knew she would succumb to her pleasure very soon.

She had no idea when the tides had turned.

His hands came up to her back and began hastily undoing the laces of her corset. Ripping at them as if they had personally offended him. Lucien was shoving at it, desperate to relieve her of the offending garment. Her breasts spilled from the top and she almost screamed when Lucien pulled her back enough to clamp his mouth over her peaked nipple.

Elain felt as though she were not in her own body. Her mind was blissed out from the feeling of him. His intoxicating scent, his cock hitting that spot inside her that made her wild, the pressure against her clit, his hot mouth on her tits.

Lucien’s thrust started losing rhythm, they became a primal chase for their releases.

“Elain,” he grunted. “Come for me, Elain. Come all over my cock.”

When his teeth grazed her nipple, Elain came with a scream. She clamped tight around him, her walls pulsing from her orgasm. Lucien released her breast with a pop and buried his head into her neck.

Elain slipped her hands into his hair and used it to pull his head back. She stared into his eyes so intensely when she said, “Never ask me to break the bond.” She tugged on his hair. “Never.”

He came with a gruntled sigh. His hot come filled her and she shivered from the sensation. She collapsed on him, his strong arms coming to wrap around her and pull her to him tightly. Elain began carding her hands gently through his locks.

Elain suddenly let out a giggle.

“What’s so funny?” Lucien questioned.

“You certainly made sure my gardens were well appreciated.”

That had pulled a startled chuckles from Lucien.

Elain pulled back slightly to look at him. “I meant what I said. Don’t ask me to break the bond because I won’t. I want to try. Will you try with me?”

His eyes softened. “I could never say no to you.”

Elain furrowed her brow. “And why is that?”

Lucien smirked. “For one, I’m still inside you and the feel of you is making me delirious.” Elain sighed when he rocked his hips to illustrate his point. “And second, I swear I will die of heartbreak if I spend one more second denying myself of you.”

Elain smiled softly and tucked a strand of hair behind his ear. “Take me with you on your next endeavor.”

“I would love nothing more, Lady Elain.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

if anyone wants to be added to a tag list for any future elucien fics or any other ship pls let me know! you can indicate in which ship you’d like to be tagged for, or if you’d like to be tagged for anything acotar i write. i write mainly for gwynriel, nessian, elucien and sometimes azris.

#elain archeron #lucien vanserra #lucien x elain #elucien #elain x lucien #acotar #acotar fanfiction #acotar smut #acotar fandom #acotar writing #a court of thorns and roses

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in-silks-and-flesh-and-leather · 2 years

Text

The Bear and the Maiden Fair - part 8

Summary: To reestablish himself in society and align with Count Pierre, your father gives your hand in marriage to Jacques Le Gris, his favorite squire. You, knowing his reputation as a newly established rich squire with little breeding and womanizing ways, are vehemently opposed to the idea.

She kicked and wailed, the maid so fair,

But he licked the honey from her hair.

Her hair! Her hair!

He licked the honey from her hair!

~Series Masterpost~

Chapter summary: Some heavy-ish angst, some more pissing contests from our two obstinate sweethearts, and a long ride to Ye Olde Bone Town with some broken wheels along the way

“I beg your pardon?” you frowned, mind refusing to acknowledge what Jacques said. To your horror, you did remember that night, very well. A day that was so full of apprehension as to what he would do was not quickly forgotten. Especially when it went against all your expectations. But it was so long ago and surely he wasn’t serious.

Looking at his pleased face, it seemed more and more like he had been.

“Well, I said I wouldn’t… until you begged me,” he reiterated in the bluntest, most embarrassing way. Beg. Your own husband. To do the thing he was made for. Shock, confusion, rage, all mingled. You almost laughed.

“You know me better than that by now. I am not begging for what’s rightfully mine,” you intoned and saw with some satisfaction his jaw clench, eyes sparking with some dark light. He was dying for this even more than you. Jacques knew well enough what he was missing and he was missing it dearly. With the night only getting shorter, you sighed, doing what you could to douse the anger he seemed to love provoking in you. “There’s no need for this, whatever you think you’re doing. It’s your dream come true,” you said confidently, leaning in with your eyes closed to kiss him some more, but you felt him twist and move his face out of the way.

“No, no; I’ve worked hard to become more to you than a tyrant husband. You’ve made me into a man who keeps his word. My honor hinges on it,” he delighted in pointing out and watched with a placid, self-satisfied look as you sprung up the way Carrouges did not too long ago, and marched out.

There was a commotion long into the night, with servants packing and moving everything necessary for the trip, sending the last of the supplies and some perishables to Lisieux over night, to be ready in the morning. Your lids were already heavy, held up by sheer will power and obstinacy, when Jacques came into the bedchamber, his steps slow and heavy. He didn’t bother saying anything, only shed his heavy clothes until he was naked and climbed into the steaming bath prepared for him. The hot water felt good on his aching muscles and bones and he hoped to sleep uninterrupted for a few hours before he had to set off. The bath would help, he thought, closing his eyes and letting out a long, heavy breath, the water drawing out his tension. He did not know with certainty when he would next have the luxury of an uninterrupted hot bath, so he intended to relish it.

You glared from the bed, arms folded over your chest, but there was no real heat to your anger anymore. You considered, with an odd sort of wistfulness, what a change had occurred with you two over this year. It no longer caused any fright or embarrassment to see him walk around with next to nothing on, nor to see his whole body as he climbed in and out of bed and his baths. It was all familiar by now; the ripple of his muscles, the breadth of his shoulders, even the bob of his heavy manhood in a thatch of dark hair that you once looked away from, with burning cheeks and various other emotions. It was all just your husband now, the man you knew better and more intimately than any other person in the world, most probably. A strong feeling of connection, of yearning that came and went from time to time gripped you again and you got up, not sure what you were meaning to do.

Jacques didn’t open his eyes or stir as he felt you walk over, nor even as he felt you grip the side of the tub and climb in. He only opened his eyes to sit up straighter in the water and wrap his hands around your waist as you clambered in and landed on his lap, making sure you didn’t slip. He smiled when your shift filled with air and billowed, half submerged, and you put your two demanding hands on his shoulders.

You looked at him, for a long, indulgent moment, committing to memory that it was on this night, in this bathtub, in the face of the danger facing you all, that you became husband and wife. He could feel the difference in every other interaction you had shared previously and the one now, and he gave a smile, tired, but warm, arms coiling around you. He shifted closer and you smirked as he kissed you, hugging you firmly around the waist. As the kiss went on and deepened, your shift was getting in the way, both in allowing you to move and his hands to roam. You grabbed at it hastily and pulled it up, water splashing as you did. It was soaked, heavy and clinging to your skin, so Jacques helped, yanking it effortlessly past the point where you got stuck and you watched him toss it out. It landed with a wet plop and you shuddered where the fabric got you wet. Jacques spun you until you were facing away and pulled your back to his chest, head resting in the crook of his neck. With his large hands, he splashed warm water over you to get you adjusted and crossed his arms over your chest, locking you as close to him as you could get. You relaxed against his slippery skin and let him hold you for a while.

“Are you afraid?” he asked in an understanding tone.

Tears you were not expecting immediately gathered in your eyes and you couldn’t fight the hitch in your breathing even if you wanted to. “I’m terrified,” you admitted with no pretense, “but god, I don’t want to talk about that now.”

“Alright,” he said, conciliatory. This was not the time to push you and he just held firmer where his grip over your chest had slackened.

“How can you be so calm?” you asked after a pause, almost accusing.

“I’m ready for whatever happens,” you felt him shrug as he spoke, maddeningly casual.

“I’m not!” you protested. The peace that was emanating from him was impossible to take when you were feeling you could fall to pieces with one false move.

He put one hand to your cheek and stroked it gently. “I am going off to do the right thing. I know what I’m going to do is right and I will do whatever my heart tells me. When you are doing what you should be doing, you are not afraid,” he explained in his most tender voice and kissed your temple.

You sobbed then and covered your face. If you could do anything, anything at all to make sure he stayed, in that moment you would have. “Well, there,” you choked, trying to catch your breath, “it was always going to end in tears with us, wasn’t it?”

Jacques sighed, hating to see his wife so upset. God forgive him, but he had never had a wife before that he cared about and it was an awful sensation to feel powerless to soothe her. “I don’t want you to cry, it’s the last thing I want. I just don’t want you to be afraid. You’re not really living if you’re fearful. And,” he added as you took deep breaths to steady yourself, “I don’t believe anything is ending for us now.”

You turned your head to face him and there was no lie in his expression. Just that look, beautiful and terrible, that made you forget all common sense. You moved closer and he understood, leaning down to take your lips in a comforting kiss, long and slow, until you calmed down. He cradled your head with his arm and put his other hand over your neck, stroking his thumb and soothing over it.

Distress was replaced with something just as urgent and you reached out of the water, around his neck to grab the back of it, licking over his lips to deepen the kiss and he responded, chest rising and falling heavily against your back. You twisted and coiled together to enjoy it as long as you could, the frantic, delicious, filthy, unrestrained dance of lips and tongue and teeth. With a gasp, you finally broke off and sucked air into your burning lungs, while Jacques went on kissing along your jaw, nipping at your neck, latching onto spots that made you writhe and moan. He couldn’t hold himself back any longer and he let his hands do what they were vibrating to do.

One hand cupped your cheek and ushered you back towards his lips and he sucked on your lips languidly, easing you in, tongue licking lazily into your mouth to tease you. He ran his free hand gently down your chest, the tips of your fingers tickling as they ran over your heart, where it dropped and thudded painfully against your chest, body roaring for him. Slowly, he cupped one breast and let you adjust to the feeling of his hands on you, letting it sit in warm palm as he started to knead it, torturously slowly. His fingers teased again, tracing circles from largest to smallest, where he finally rolled the stiff peak between his wet fingers. You couldn’t move; it was excruciating to feel the bolts of heat his touch sent through you, but you knew you would kill him if he stopped.

You were distantly aware of how he set off your nerves with his deft lips and fingers, as it made you twitch and moan like a marionette, but it felt too good to be self-conscious. His massive body suddenly shifted under you as he hooked your leg over his and spread you wide under the water. Your eyes finally shot open then, heart racing, trying to leap out through your throat. It felt so intimate and compromising to be in this position. It was such a thrill. You were grateful for the water hiding some you from sight and to be facing away from him when his hand slipped silently under the water.

He glided over your belly to your hips, pressing in-between them, making you squeeze and undulate. You felt yourself pulsing and aching, learning the movement you’d be doing with him, again and again. The thought of rocking back and forth with him between your legs was enough to make you bite your lips and moan. Jacques grabbed your thigh, kneading, then caressing, from firm pressure to gentle touch, and both felt so good. Finally, he skirted over your mound of Venus and you dug your nails into his flesh where you were holding on. Again, he circled and teased before he reached the most sensitive spots, waves rippling around you as you writhed for him. He seemed to know when the pressure rising deep inside you threatened to spill over the edge; slowing down and stroking lazily around; pressing experimentally where the flesh yielded, pushing first the tip of a finger into the slick heat, then a knuckle, then another. It was easy enough at first, until your felt your inner walls clench tightly around a finger, two starting to cause unmistakable pain. He would pull out gently, soothing and rubbing some more before bringing you to the same edge again, only to bring you down at the last possible moment. You wanted it to last, but you wanted to have that raw, pulsing release as well.

Jacques swallowed hard, for all the wrong reasons. With a cold dread, he found himself rather unresponsive. All the sweet noises you were giving him, the feel of your tight walls squeezing around him, your body on his and still, nothing. Not nothing, precisely, but certainly not enough of anything. In a panic, confusion battling embarrassment, he pressed on the swollen bud, rolling it on his fingers, moving and rocking with you as you let go and ticked a beat into his hand, hoping to get himself going with some friction. He filled his ears the melody of your ragged breathing, summoning the face of every notable conquest, every filthy string of obscenities he heard panted into his ear as he slammed into any which wet hole, anything at all that then sent him into ecstasy, and nothing helped. Your high came and went, breathing steadied as you lay limply against him and he wanted to punch himself in the face for his uncooperative body.

Gradually, you felt yourself return to your body, head still light and toes still curling. Marguerite was a generous, well meaning friend and she had explained all that would transpire, down to the worst of it, as her cheeks flushed and burned. She spoke tearfully at times as she reminisced about her own experiences, but she wanted her friend to know what she had not and be prepared for the aspect of marriage that had to be endured, so she went on. Her advice was invaluable, but nowhere did it make mention of anything like what Jacques just did. Still mildly apprehensive after feeling the stinging stretch of his fingers, you were nonetheless looking forward to more now.

Jacques was unusually quiet – you had expected some smirking comments and gloating, you even welcomed them if you were being perfectly honest, but he did not let out a sound. You turned and readjusted, feeling the water getting colder, to sit on his lap and face him. He squirmed away awkwardly and pushed you slightly away, further down his thighs. You tried to seek his eyes out, but they were skittish, running away from yours and barely resting on you at all. For a moment, your stomach twisted nervously, thinking you did something that he didn’t like or that he was disappointed somehow.

“Jacques,” you said like a question, voice low and unsure.

Oh, god, you didn’t even know. He would have to explain, he would have to say it.

With an annoyed grunt, he threw his head back and then looked into your eyes. His mouth opened, he froze, and it snapped shut again.

“I…” he started again and faltered, head shaking. “I’m not-I don’t…seem. Fuck.” He was waving a hand over the water, somewhere above his groin and glanced down reflexively, stuck as to how to explain himself. You stopped and lowered your eyes suspiciously over the offending body of water. You couldn’t be quite sure about exactly what he was trying to say, but you got the uncomfortable feeling that you understood the unfortunate predicament you were currently in.

“Is it--,” your hand moved to your chest to indicate yourself, but Jacques caught it and shook his head resolutely.

“No! Good God, no, absolutely not!” he protested and you tried to take some comfort from that.

When he didn’t speak again, you asked, somewhat demandingly, “Then what?”

He gave an exasperated little laugh, shrugging his shoulders helplessly. For the duration of a blink, it looked like he might cry. “Who can say? This is a death by a thousand cuts, I’m afraid.”

You frowned, trying to comprehend what he could mean. “What are you…?” finally you asked and he didn’t want to contradict himself when he had just said it wasn’t your fault.

“It’s no one thing,” he started, evasive again. “It’s the combined effect of all of a whole year of… avoiding you, hiding anything of this sort from you, pushing it down… assuming it would never come to be,” he made excuses for himself and you remained unconvinced. All you’d known of Jacques was his legendary lust and all you knew from Marguerite was that husbands were supposed to have endless appetites. And now this.

Jacques’ pride was mortally wounded when you didn’t leap to comfort him in this darkest of hours. Any wench in a tavern would do at least that much. A wife should at least have the good graces to lie! “Just hours ago, I was convinced our marriage would be annulled!” he exclaimed, desperate to find an excuse and got agitated all over again at everything that led him up to this and his current unacceptable and reprehensible state.

You chewed on your lip, wondering what to do now. You had to admit you were a little deflated by this news, though not as much as Jacques seemed to be. To your horror, the smallest, most stifled laugh at your own thought huffed out of your nose and Jacques glared venomously. “Are you laughing at me?” he gawked, neck going red.

“No, no! I…” you tried to deny, but the laugh bubbled up again and you bowed your head to hide your face. Jacques made some disgruntled noise and you could feel the irritation steaming off of him.

Mercifully, you managed to regain control of yourself and when you looked up again, you found Jacques despondent, head hanging back over the edge of the tub like a dead bird, with an expression of agony on his face. “This is the worst night of my life, I think,” he pondered out loud. He also wondered if he choked his own half erect cock, would it get any harder or would he simply kill it dead?

Taking a page out of his teasing book, you made a quizzical expression and ran a hand down his broad chest. “I don’t know about that, things can always get worse. But they can get better too. The fornication at Exmes need not halt. For instance, I can take a lover if you wish—”

Jacques was snapped out of his comatose state and grabbed your wrist as fast as a snake bites. There it was; a glimpse of the beast you knew lurked inside him. It seemed that the approach of incensing him worked as well when you did it to him as when he did it to you.

“Maybe Matthieu,” you offered and felt your grin broaden when his grip tightened.

He jerked you forward, a sinister growl sounding in his throat and wrapped an arm around your waist to pull you closer again. You slid up to his chest, hips colliding with his and you felt your center drag over his half hard cock. Even diminished, it still felt impressive, if a clench deep in your gut was anything to go by.

“Careful now,” he threatened, so close his nose almost touched yours. “We both know I’ve had about enough of your smart mouth.”

A crooked grin pulled the side of your mouth. “You hardly had any of it. And maybe you prefer it that way,” you asserted and glanced down at the water.

He slid his hands roughly behind you, squeezing both buttocks until the pain seared through you, making you shut your eyes and yelp. He scratched his nails across the soft flesh and sat you down harder.

“You want to know what I prefer?” he squeezed the words through gritted teeth and rocked you back and forth, spearing between your folds, and watching with triumph as your face glazed over in bliss.

“For once, I actually do,” you said, breath getting faster again. His chest was rising and falling hard too, hot blood surging through him again. He willed himself to perform, grimacing and writhing under you, but to no avail. With an annoyed whimper, he felt you slow down too and released your hips, and fell against the tub from the exertion.

He was trying so hard to live up to what he was supposed to be; the realization almost broke your heart. You reached out to sweep the damp hair off his face and he shirked away, like a mistreated animal. “No, please, don’t, not that.”

“Not what?”

“Pity.”

You moved his hands away – his resistance was very feeble – and took his face in both hands. “It’s not pity, you beast, it’s an apology,” you smiled and he gave you a doubtful look. “When I was not willing to be had, you made no protest. It’s only fair I do the same for you,” you said honestly. The magnitude of his gesture and his restraint all this time had only become more impressive to you over time and you had a lot to thank him for. If nothing else, then the fact that you would not be forced to remember your wedding night as one filled with humiliation, disgust and discomfort, the way so many women did.

He looked at you then with his real face, the one without any mask; neither the Lord Le Gris nor your lord husband nor Zeus and Eros incarnate. He was only Jacques, his innermost self that he hardly ever revealed. “I’m sorry for this, I don’t know what’s happening to me,” he said meekly, touching your face, thumb stroking over your lower lip. “You must believe me when I tell you I’ve never loved anyone like you, never wanted someone so much.”

You laughed, eyes filling with tears, this time happy ones. “Of course I do. Who else would put up with me if not someone who loves me to insanity?”

He laughed too, despite himself. The smile faded soon, but it was still somewhere in there. You hoped it would make his heart lighter. “I realized early on that there was true quality to your character,” you told him, suddenly reminded that he ought to know and this might be your last chance to say it. “So I was forced to redouble my efforts to spurn you,” you joked, though only halfway since you did do exactly that. “But I’ve known. For a long time. I’ve…known you. For a long time,” your voice trailed off into silence. Maybe you would muster the courage to say the real word before the night was up.

Every emotion was impressed on Jacques’ face as he gazed back, unraveled and mesmerized, and he breathed in to speak, not sure what he would even say, but you ran your fingers over his lips and pushed closer. “If I could ask for anything in a husband, I wouldn’t ask for any quality you don’t posses. I’m proud and I am grateful to be your wife. And I don’t think anything bad of you,” you said and watched as his chin twisted and wobbled, eyes getting red. Before he could get any more emotional, you leaned in and brushed your lips against his. He let you slowly close the distance between you, kissing one corner of his mouth, then the other, tasting the salt of one silent tear that rolled down his cheek. You wrapped your arms around his neck, pressing your chest against his, and kissed him slowly, gently. There was none of that heat from before. It was a kiss to comfort him, to give him the reassurance he needed. You felt him slacken in your arms, letting go of the tension that filled him. Gradually, he pulled away, leaving kisses on your chin, cheek, on your ear, tender declarations and sweet nothings spilling from his lips, as he stamped them on your neck, shoulders, chest, growing frenzied little by little.

You tangled your hands in his hair and pulled him up to look at you again. With a meaningful gaze, you said, “Jacques. Please.”

His mouth dropped open and he started to shake his head apologetically, “No, no, don’t do that! Don’t say that, that was a stupid joke – I say all sorts of things I shouldn’t—“

“No,” you interrupted, “well, yes, you do,” you both laughed and you went on, “Jacques, I want to say this. How much I do want this to happen. We both need it. It feels good to say I want to be yours and to, please, take me,” you grinned when his expression changed, intent and dangerous, a tantalizing shadow falling over it. “It doesn’t matter to me when it happens, as long as you know how I feel. And as long as I’ve said it to you myself.”

He didn’t say anything, nothing more was needed. He just kissed you again, pushing your mouth open and finding your tongue with his, bruising your lips and chin with the intensity of it. Soon, his moans vibrated into your mouth and you felt him move under you again. When you emerged for air, you could finally giggle and feel around with your body against his lap. “Well… it doesn’t seem like we’ll have to wait for too long,” you laughed and looked between him and the water under you. He grinned and gripped you tightly around the waist, getting up and taking you out with him. You giggled some more through the shivers in the air, cool compared to the tepid water.

Jacques laid you down on the bed and wrapped your legs around his hips with no preamble. He somehow seemed even larger when you were sprawled under him, his breath looming over you, tossing your body around with ease. Your gut froze and twisted, over and over into tighter coils. Fear or desire, it was hard to tell apart; how closely they could intermingle. Jacques was pleased to find you slick already and pushed his tip through your folds, getting you used to the feeling of him, hard and hot, and preparing you for more. At last, he entered the spot where the flesh yielded and stopped when the head was in, feeing your first apprehensive clench, the body reacting to this new foreign feeling of penetration. “This will inevitably hurt, at least a little,” he warned, wishing it didn’t have to be like that. You nodded, having been cautioned by your friend, and advised on what helps. Jacques took your nodding to mean you were ready for more and first he reached under your hips, angling your pelvis up more, so he could sheath himself with the least discomfort to you. He pushed in bit by bit, stopping when you winced or whimpered, giving you time to stretch around him and release the grip of your fluttering walls around him, as good as it felt to him. You whined as he pushed past the point giving him resistance, and the rest of the way was easier to take, as you marveled how deep he was reaching and the sensation of having him there. He, in turn, was fascinated reading all those emotions expressed on your face.

When he finally bottomed out and stopped, you let out a breath and he kissed your face, swelling inside over how good you were for him. He hunched over you as you wrapped your arms around his neck and bent closer, head nestled in the crook of your neck. You sighed into his hair, hands raking down his back, “Oh, Jacques…”

He licked his lips and propped himself up to looked at you. “Do you know how long it’s been since a woman moaned my name for me?”

You laughed and felt, with a tiny stab of pain, how your inner muscles squeezed around him as you did. “Since before our wedding night, I would hope,” you gave his side an admonishing pinch and he twisted, grinning.

Jacques finally moved, pulling out only a little, before pushing back in, gently at first, then further and further out, more and more rhythmically until you were pulled into the verve with him, rocking and anticipating his motions correctly. He was reassured to feel you paw at his back, or at the sheets, gushing around him when he did something you particularly liked.

When you wanted more kisses, you’d yank on his hair and he hissed with pleasure, liking that his wife was happy to take what she wanted from him with such imperious ownership.

The stretch of him filling you out was painful, he was so big that it felt like you shouldn’t be able to wrap around him at all, but there was something good about it too, divine really. But every time you felt it flash through you, the pain came following. When he couldn’t stave it off any longer, Jacques helped you with his deft hand again and you squeezed your eyes shut so hard stars danced and sparkled in that darkness, ears ringing as you reached your high again. You felt your mouth going - babbling, crying and moaning things with no awareness of what they were expect that you were calling Jacques’ name in between other exclamations.

It was an unforgettable feeling, spasming around him seated inside you, and then his enormous body making yours quake under him as he pushed in several more times and finally came too, his seed spilling over and over again somewhere deep inside you. You stared at the ceiling and marveled at all the sensations coursing though you as Jacques held himself up, trying not collapse on you. He finally let go when you tugged him closer and gave him permission to do so, the warm weight of him making you dizzy.

After what might have been moments or hours, you felt Jacques vibrate as he snickered at something. The sound was as light as air and you felt he was in the best, most unburdened mood you’d ever seen him in. Pride at being the cause of such giddiness was immediate and intoxicating. “What exactly is so funny?” you asked, smiling as broadly as he was.

“Oh, nothing, I was just thinking… I learned a lot tonight. Turns out that among her many talents, my wife is also a snake charmer.”

“You should consider yourself very fortunate, then.”

“I do. Of all the things people unfairly envy me for, my marriage is the one thing I can’t blame them for. Not a man alive deserves to feel what I feel now.”

“Oh, shut up! Do you want to waste the night talking or—”

There was no more conversation for the rest of the night, nor sleeping neither. You lay on his chest for a while before popping your head up to find him gazing adoringly at the crown of your head. You both smiled from ear to ear and wrapped around each other again, kissing until you had to gasp for air. When he was sure you had time to come down from that first encounter, Jacques finally relented and made love to you again. He almost stopped when you were obviously sore and achy from him still, but you would not be so easily deterred. Everything went about the same as the previous time, with Jacques realizing the discomfort would not let you experience the heights of your ecstasy and taking care of you with his hand, which took much longer this third time. By the end, he was more satisfied than he had been in a long time and you had accepted that this was about as far as you could go this night. Exhilarating thought it all was, you were feeling the effects and aches his powerful body had produced. It was starting to get light outside when your exhausted bodied finally lose out to sleep, and waking within a short hour or two felt like punishment. Still, when you left the chamber, both of you were smiling so wide your cheeks hurt.

#jacques le gris x reader #Jacques le gris x you

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wandaluvstacos · 4 months

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THE ONLY SECONDS THAT MATTER

CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX IS UP!

Genre: Contemporary Romance Rating: 18+

Includes: Extensive horse nerdery + cowboys, mxm romance (1 trans + 1 cis), some discussion child abuse, some instances of trans/homophobia (it is rural Oklahoma, y'all), depression, occasional sex scene (but it’s a slow burn for sure)

Victor Ortiz-Bennett had some reservations about moving to Oklahoma, but his late aunt willed him a 70-acre horse farm, and he decides to fulfill his dream of running and operating his own training facility. Victor’s been around the reining horse show circuit for a while, and he’s ready to settle down, travel less, and spend more time with the horses he loves and away from the people he can do without. That is, until he picks up a horse at an auction with a bucking problem he can’t fix, and he has to take her to the one guy who can ride anything– Johnny Stearns, a retired professional rodeo rider.

Johnny Stearns is loud, chatty, eccentric, and fears nothing, exactly Victor’s opposite. However, Victor finds himself sinking into an odd friendship with this new foul-mouthed cowboy without a filter, diving deeper into the mess that is Johnny’s life until there’s no way to extract himself from it. Johnny may talk a tough game, but there’s more to him than he’ll let most people see. Victor knows getting in too deep will mean a rough ride, but if there’s anything Johnny’s taught him, it’s how to stay in the saddle.

Excerpt:

“I got to thinkin’ about what you said back at my house,” Johnny continued. “How you decided to be yourself even if it fucked you over in other ways. If Ennis had just run off with Jack, maybe it woulda turned out differently. Or maybe they both woulda been killed.” Johnny’s knee was jiggling. “Ain’t no way to know. That’s the risk you take.”

“Ah yes, Johnny Stearns, infamously averse to risk-taking.”

Johnny chuckled, shaking his head. “Honestly, I’d rather ride a thousand of the meanest buckin’ stock before dealin’ with this coming out business. I guess that makes you braver than me, huh?”

“Bravery isn’t something you’re born with. It’s a skill like anything else. I was terrified when I started my transition, and some of that terror was justified. But it did get easier, even though the world didn’t change. The first step is the hardest. After that, you learn to deal.”

Johnny nodded, throat bobbing as he stared hard at the empty stalls across from them. Sitting this close, Victor could see the few spots Johnny had missed shaving. Hunger began bubbling up in his gut like a pot about to boil. Maybe he should have let the moment sit, but he couldn’t resist. He reached out and squeezed Johnny’s shoulder in what he hoped was a comforting gesture. When he saw Johnny��s expression harden, he started to pull away, figuring Johnny was about to tell him off. Instead, Johnny clutched him behind the neck and drew him into a dry, bruising kiss that shocked Victor enough to freeze him for a moment. It took a bit of a dodging maneuver to end the contact, and when Johnny tried to follow him, Victor grabbed a fistful of his shirt to keep him at an arm’s length.

“My terms,” Victor forced out, already breathless.

“These got-damn terms,” Johnny grumbled. “I’ll agree to whatever you want if I get to fuck you.”

Victor frowned. “What the hell does that mean?”

“I means—shit. Vic. Can we just fuck? I’m tired of talkin’.” Johnny leaned in again, but Victor strengthened his grip on Johnny’s shirt.

“Say it,” Victor said firmly.

“Say what?” Johnny let out another snorty breath before his eyes truly met Victor’s and he realized how serious Victor was. “Fine. Alright. You want me to say it, I’ll say it. Do you wanna… I mean… is it okay if we… shit.” Johnny sighed and slumped. “You know I ain’t good at talkin’…”

“Bullshit. You never shut up.”

“I’ll be your boyfriend,” Johnny blurted out, face now so pink he looked like he might be suffocating. “There. I said it. Happy?"

#The Only seconds that matter #update #excerpt #my writing #original fiction #patreon

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ashes-writing · 2 years

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sweet emotion pt five | stranger things ; e.munson

tag list babes || req rules + fandoms/characters || got a ? - reqs open, headcanons + filth or fluff alphabet only || masterlist

CHAPTERS ;

one two three four can all be found by clicking.

AUTHORS NOTES;

SO.. I believe I promised a conclusion to movie night at Eddie's trailer between Henderson!Reader and Eddie. All apologies to those who sought this out thinking it'd be a slow burn because oops, rip, it's not. I have some more I wanna do with this, as I said, this is more slice of life using the ST cast than it is anything else.

Huuuge thanks and so many goddamn hugs to everyone who puts up with, encourages my assorted fuckery and the biggest hugs to the ones who take the time to read it and have been leaving me comments / reblogging with the tags - i loooove it oh my god you guys tags give me life / likes and reblogs because honestly, beyond me thankful that the idea is out and not trapped to pester me, this truly motivates me and means the world to me, like.. Emotions. Fucking emotions. I love you guys.

SUMMARY;

-- spying little brothers, cuddling with horror movies for background noise. le sigh.

aka, you are Dustin's sister and you're tutoring Eddie Munson. Which leads to befriending Eddie Munson but where will it go from there?

PAIRING;

Eddie Munson x Henderson!Fem reader with no real physical descriptors beyond being female / having female parts.

WARNINGS;

Dustin is a damn spy. Touching. Maaaybe other things? Sweet and cute fluff, seriously this shit will rot your teeth.

TAGLIST;

The only people on my taglist for Stranger Things currently are listed below. If you’d like to be and you aren’t, please go add yourself via the link at the very top of the post.

@ALLELITESMUT

@AURUMBELIS

@ARIES-ARCADE

@COLE22ANN

@HCLOANGCLS

@HEYAITSKLAUDIA

@ICEQUEEN1371

@KRYS-ORION

@LETSBEDRAGONSTOGETHER

@MUSICHEALSSCARS

@SCOOBIESSNACKS

@SUITS-AND-SMIRKS

OTHER STUFF;

Nothing that happened in S4 happens here. There is no death, there is no Vecna, there is no upside down.

“You’re shitting me.” you grumble at the screen before rolling over in annoyance, melting yourself against Eddie. His fingers drag through your hair and he gazes down at you intently. “Hm?” he finally asks. You laugh softly, keeping your voice down because everyone is just starting to drift off to sleep, the horror movie marathon is mostly just background noise at this point. You’re doing it again, dragging your fingers over his chest and he barely stops a quiet groan.

“They expect me to believe that was real? There wasn’t enough blood for me to buy it. Head injuries are bloody and messy as hell.” you mumble, laughing quietly. Eddie snickers and distractedly, he’s dragging his fingers up and down your back. “Depends on the person though, sweetheart.” and he freezes when the pet name slips out, half of him wanting the floor of his living room to open and swallow him and the other half thinking that maybe the guys and your brother are right. Maybe it’s time he did something about this before it drives him insane.

You can feel your skin heat up all over but you don’t dare comment. And parts of you are telling yourself that when he called you sweetheart, it was probably more friendly than anything. You yawn sleepily and before you can stop yourself, you’re wiggling yourself so that you’re even closer to him, slipping a leg over his hip. Eddie’s breath hangs in his throat and any coherent thought he’d been having up to that point flees his brain.

Except for one.

He can’t keep on like this. Somebody has to do something. And you’re nothing if not skittish as hell. So he realizes that it’ll have to be him. He decides to start small and work up to going for it and he does this by resting a hand against your thigh. You gulp and in the dim glow of the television set, he can see it when it happens, his eyes fixating on the subtle bob and then on your lips because you’re staring intently at his mouth now and licking your own again.

He leans his face into yours, and mumbles quietly, “Stop me if…” before trailing off, staring up at you for a second or two as he waits on confirmation that it’s okay and you want him to kiss you. You whimper. “I.. I want you to. It’s okay.” you mumble in this soft little whisper that goes straight to his cock somehow the second he hears it. He grins bright and he rolls onto his back, pulling you so that you’re mostly laid on top of him, taking your face in his hands. Pulling your mouth against his as his lips lock around your bottom lip, tugging and sucking until you whine quietly and you’re clumsily rubbed against him and melted over him but somehow, it’s still just not close enough. Your mouth falls open easily when his tongue drags the shape of your lips and sends a shiver racing down your spine. Your hands catch in thick brown hair, tugging carefully and this brings the smallest growl raising up out of him as he rocks into you from below and chuckles. “That uh..” he’s got a teasing gleam in his eye and your entire body heats up as you giggle and nod. But you definitely make a mental note of it. For the future.

If this isn’t just a spur of the moment kiss. You’re dying to ask him if it means anything but you’re smart enough to keep your mouth shut. His tongue runs over yours and you suck his tongue, his fingers dig into your body where he has his hands rested and you whine before you can stop the sound from escaping. He grins, laughing into the kiss. “So reactive.” he mutters, fingers twisting in the ends of your hair as he deepens the kiss and you swear you’ve both forgotten to breathe at least twice now and are almost seeing stars but you desperately do not want to break the kiss.

When the kiss breaks, you’re both wide-eyed and staring at each other. Eddie lets out a quiet and low whistle. “Whoa.” he mumbles, chuckling to himself and you can feel your face flame up. “I know.” you respond in a dreamy voice as you drag your finger over his bottom lip before you can stop yourself only to remember that even though he just kissed you like that, it doesn’t mean you can just touch him whenever you want. He catches hold of your finger and nips at it playfully as he laughs quietly. “ ‘S okay. I don’t mind. Trust me. I definitely do not mind at all.” and he laughs at himself as soon as he realizes he’s rambling, going quiet.

The question, it is bursting to come out. And the air is so thick your breath catches. Eddie’s arms wrap around you to lock you in place on top of him as he stares up at you. “That wasn’t just a kiss..Right?” he asks and there’s just this slightest hint of worry in his tone. You definitely want to reassure him so you answer without hesitation, “Not to me.” and it feels like the weight of the world has just been lifted. Eddie removes an arm from your body so that he can caress your face with one hand, a relieved smile as he answers, “Thank fuck. I.. Was kinda wonderin.”

And before you can stop yourself, the truth is pouring out of you and you’re rambling, by the end of it, you’ve hidden your face in his chest because you can’t look at him and keep getting it all out. He waits until you’ve gone quiet and he grips your jaw, making you look at him. “Hey, hey..” he mumbles, moving you both so that you’re on your back and he’s leaned over you and staring down, “I was a goner when I watched you run down the hallway at school covered in paint. ‘S okay, baby.”

All you want is to be closer. You pull him down into you and he chuckles, his hands all over you under the cover of the shared sleeping bag. “You’re hot when you’re all flustered and squirming though.” he teases gently, pressing a kiss to the bridge of your nose. But he goes quiet, he gets a soft but serious look on his face and he takes a deep breath. "Want y’ to be my girl.”

You’re grinning and even in the dimly lit room, it’s just brighter to him. He grins too, laughing. “You are, right?” he asks quietly, giving you little pecks on your cheeks and laughing when you pretend to scowl at him. “Mhm. I am.. All yours, Eddie.” you mumble softly, raising a hand to caress his face and pull him back down into you for another deep kiss.

Across the room, Dustin laughs. “Finally?”

“Go to sleep, dustball.” you whisper back, you and Eddie sharing a laugh.

“I told you he liked you too, midget.” Dustin answers, taunting you. Making you stammer a little as Eddie fixes his gaze on you and you shrug.

#eddie munson #eddie munson imagine #eddie munson fanfiction #eddie munson fanfic #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x fem!reader #eddie munson x reader imagine #eddie munson x fem!reader imagine

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dumbbitchdoestwitch · 1 year

Text

Cum for the monster, stay for the plot

I read monster fucker books - they're fun, they're interesting and usually, they're pretty hot. & It seems like a perfect first Tumblr post. Now I made it through Opal Reyne's A Soul to Keep and A Soul to Heal in under a week. I didn't mean to - I planned on reading them over a month or two to give myself a break from all the steam but I didn't do that. I stayed up late, reading it like a rabid horny little monster fucker, and then wandered through my day job a zombie hungry for more monster cock. All that to say - forgive me if I get bits and bobs from the 2 mixed up. Anyhow - spoilers & monster cock ahead so proceed with caution~

I tried writing this before and it got way too fucking long, so I'm going to try to keep it short. We'll start with the first book - A Soul to Keep. The first chunk of the book is massively background-heavy, but I actually like that. I love some plot & direction with my monster fucking but it is A Lot™️. If you like a book to get down and dirty fast, this one's not for you. This one is a heck of a slow burn and the first taste of the naughty you get is hot, magic baths. It takes much longer to get to our monster friend digging his claws into our female lead and magically rearranging her guts so that enormous monster cock actually fits.

Background-wise, the bare bones are that it's a strange, alternate reality where demons arrived on Earth through a portal sometime around the industrial revolution. The demons prevented humanity from progressing as it should have, so we have a weird mix of modern language in an almost hunter-gatherer time. Also important to note, the portal the demons came through is at the heart of the Veil, a pit in the woods that gives demons a place to lurk away from the sun. On to our characters...

So we have Reia whose family was murdered by demons & then the town labeled Reia a bad omen & ostracized her from her fellow townspeople (but like not really 'cause throwing her out of the town would let the demons eat her and get stronger so there's a lot of "we're afraid of you, don't dare look at us, but we're also gonna torment you a bit"). Anyway, having a young woman who you hate actually works out perfectly for this town because, as it turns out, once every 10 years a creature the humans call a Duskwalker comes to one of 3 villages and bestows a protective blessing in exchange for a "pure bride" (not like that tho).

Our Duskwalker goes by Orpheus and he's like 7ft tall with a wolf skull for a face, nothing but glow sticks behind it, and has exposed bones where his skin and fur haven't grown over them. As Orpheus brings Reia to his cabin in the Veil, a few things become apparent:

1) we're going to have to deal with a bit of secondhand embarrassment

2) Orpheus is a lonely pervert

Those two things can go either way depending on how you like your monsters. I didn't think I'd be able to get through the secondhand embarrassment, but Orpheus is such a giant cinnamon roll that I barely noticed it. It also really helps that anytime I had a concern about how stuff works, it got addressed a few lines down. It's just really well thought out like that.

As for the sex scenes, they felt kind of confusing at times because we're learning anatomy while we're going at it. Other than that though, the sheer passion and desire running rampant is delicious. So if you like well-built worlds with squishy cinnamon roll monsters (who really look like monsters and stay that way) with absolutely enormous cocks, I'd highly recommend A Soul to Keep.

Maybe some day I'll post the long as hell version of this with every little thought but today is not that day 💜

#opal reyne #a soul to keep #monster fucker review

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littlefreya · 3 years

Text

Vanilla Milkshake

Summer: Henry and a long time friend hangout at their usual spot when things turn chaotic because of an innocent misunderstanding...

Prompted by:

Oooh Freyaaaa I just *need* some scene featuring Henry and ofc drinking milkshake.

Pairing: Henry Cavill x Unamed OFC (no description of ethnicity or body type).

Word count: 1.7K

Warnings: RPF, major fluff, friends to lovers, sexual innuendo, mild seduction, sex talk, an unwanted boner, Henry being a boomer, Henry having a meltdown.

*No permission is given for reposting my work, copying it, ideas or parts it and claiming it as your own.*

A/N: So, first thing first, thanks @agniavateira for quickly beta’ing my work! And of course thanks @the-soot-sprite for bouncing ideas with me and being an emotional support. Decided to go with friends for lovers because I live for that stuff. Also, I am aware that “Milkshake” can be interpreted in several ways but for the sake of the story I went with that particular reference. Divider by the lovely @firefly-graphics

Please comment and reblog if you enjoyed. 🖤

Title: Vanilla Milkshake

“I swear, this diner looks like Barbie had an orgasm all over the place.” A whimsical grin sliced between Henry’s marble cheeks. Eyeing the pastel-esque surroundings, he huffed scornfully and adjusted the cap over his nest of unruly curls.

“Remind me again why we always meet here, young lady?”

Staring at the beastly man who barely managed to squeeze into the plastic-pink faux leather booth, she couldn’t help but chuckle. Henry carried himself with something that was both eloquent yet unmistakably feral, reminding her of a burly forest creature. Sturdy tree trunks stood for limbs, torso, and shoulders—the widths of icy mountains and a blanket of thick fur coated the entirety of his body, deeming him a dangerous bear.

No wonder he preferred himself clean-shaven. The sharpened edge of a razor kept him a cut away from becoming ‘Henry the Barbarian’.

Seeing him surrounded by pastel and sparkly fairy dust brought far more joy than she could ever imagine. The utter look of contempt gleamed on the surface of his shifty eyes.

Oh, by God, how much he hated glitter!

“And what would you know about Barbie’s orgasms?” she teased with a crooked eyebrow and a comical suspicious glare.

Readjusting his cap over the messy mane of chocolate curls, Henry offered a terrible wink and shrugged, “a gentleman never tells.”

Her fingers rapped on her thigh while she contemplated whether to allow this naughty joke slide, but then the urge to provoke him was far too great. After briefly chewing on the inside of her cheek, she broke into a wicked grin.

“Is that… like a role play you have with the missus? She’s Barbie, and you’re G.I.Joe? Because I kinda don’t want to hear about it, but then I kinda do.”

Henry’s smile gradually faded along with the playful glee in his eyes, his melancholic gaze dropping to the sparkly table. He slumped into a heavy sigh, “If by missus, you mean ‘Miss Hand’, then no… not really.”

Dumbfounded, she frowned at Henry with confusion when then it struck her; a sense of incredible embarrassment drained the blood from her head to her gut.

“Oh…”

“Yep.” Henry blurted and grabbed the menu, pretending to be incredibly interested in the kids’ meal options.

Just in time to rescue them from a prolonged awkward silence, the waitress arrived with their order, serving Henry a hot cup of double espresso while she received a tall glass of a luscious vanilla milkshake.

“Enjoy your drinks, guys!” the waitress smiled sweetly and kept her eyes glued to Henry as she walked away. But the gloss of the waitress’ flirtatious excitement was lost on him; drenched with greed, Henry’s blue sapphires were fixated on the generous scoops of ice cream and the dark chocolate swirls that decorated his companion’s dessert.

“Henry, my eyes are up here!” she provoked and grabbed the straw between two fingers while throwing an amused glance at his simple cup of coffee. Henry followed her gaze and scoffed before raising the cup to his mouth and blowing to cool his drink.

The way his lips pursed together and his finger stroked the ceramic surface did not escape her observation. A sudden tingle swam down the length of her spine once it resonated in her mind that kind, charming, and beastly Henry was now single. Here they were, long time buddies, but now sitting together felt less comfortable than before. Her limbs felt like pins and needles while staring directly at his eyes was as risky as staring at the sun.

“Cheers,” Henry mumbled and took a sip from his cup.

Almost jolting in her seat, she stiffened and then grabbed her straw.

“Cheers.”

Giggles came from the other side of the diner. Among the retro gumball machines and rounded plastic bar stools, the waitress and a colleague leaned against the counter and stared at Henry, who turned his head for a brief moment and tipped his head.

Their giggles turned even louder.

She frowned.

“So, have you been single for a while?” she heard herself asking with a rather urgent tone. Right away, a look of contrition crept on her face as she regretted her verbal onslaught and lack of sensitivity.

Henry directed his gaze back to her and watched as she slowly sipped from the milkshake and then suckled the cream off her mouth.

Absentmindedly, he licked his lips. “Since May. How about you, weren’t you with…?”

“No, ended, dodged a bullet.” she spat and pumped the straw up and down the thick beverage. “My milkshake brings all the boys… except it doesn't.” she sighed.

Henry frowned and shook his head with confusion. “What? You never told me you make your own milkshake. How come I never had some?”

Her face abruptly froze, her eyes rounded with surprise before she snorted so loudly the waitresses stopped their whispering.

“Umm… Hen?” she called out, trying to hold herself from bursting into chuckles as her friend accidentally asked for a very sexual favour, “you honestly don’t know what ‘milkshake’ is slang for...?”

“Uh…”

“Omg, you’re such a boomer.”

“No, I was born in ‘83! I’m a millennial. But please, indulge me.” he begged and crossed his arms together.

Clearing her throat loudly, she did her best to fight the wicked grin that stretched on her already painful cheeks and wrapped her fist around the straw. “So you know... how… certain male bodily fluids are sometimes white and creamy...? And when you perform a certain motion it’s like you’re shaking it…?”

Henry blinked and became silent. An unbidden rush of blood pooled at his groin as he watched her thumb graze over the tip of the straw and her fist pumping it into the smooth liquid in a slow, gentle motion. Wickedness glazed her eyes, but he tried to dismiss it as nothing but their usual playful banter; yet his adam’s apple bobbed up and down while his shoulder tensed at the oddly arousing sight of her performing a sinful act on a milkshake.

There was an unmistakable stir in his cock and for once, he was thankful for narrow spaces as it hid his predicament.

Leaning forward, she opened her mouth and swirled her tongue around the straw. She went deliberately slow, making him watch while she playfully licked and suckled the tip until finally wrapping her lips around it and taking a generous sip.

Henry gawked utterly smitten, unaware that his jaw was nearly at the floor.

And to make things worse, she moaned—not too loud—but definitely enough to make his shaft harden more.

She wasn’t sure what stirred this whimsical boost of confidence, only that seeing the large, handsome man pale at her provocations made her feel like the most powerful woman on earth. She also gathered she’d regret it forever and a day once they’ll part ways, but it was too late for that now.

Gingerly she pulled back, though not before allowing a single drop of cream to trickle down the corner of her lips.

“Oops,” she smirked casually, wiping the cream with her fingertip and sucking it clean.

“Please stop…”

It was then when she noticed that Henry’s playful mien was all but gone. Far from amused, he glowered with a clenched jaw. “If you’re going to keep doing that, I’ll have to leave,” he stated matter-of-factly.

A rush of panic made her freeze in her spot, the same needles that pricked her skin were now setting jolts of electric bursts. “I’m so sorry, I crossed the line,” she said and covered her mouth with shame, “did I offend you? Do you want me to leave?”

“What? No, no, not at all.” Henry’s voice softened right away, and he reached a hand in the air, as if trying to stop her from leaving. The last thing he wanted now is for her to think he is angry with her. If anything, he wished they could spend more time together, not because of his obvious arousal, but because for the first time in a long while, he was having fun.

Still, she looked at him so utterly distraught.

“Then…?”

Henry scanned the diner as if trying to make sure no one was staring or taking any photo and then shifted in his seat uncomfortably. His eyes altered between his spread thighs and her several times, trying to signal toward his… trouble.

“Oh...” she gaped.

An odd sense of pride began to permeate her chest, battling over the burning embarrassment that flamed up her neck and cheeks. At this point, she wasn’t sure what she was supposed to feel, only that it was definitely the most awkward hangout they had to date.

Problem was, she never knew when to shut up.

“Is little Henry hungry?”

Hearing those words, his brows dropped to an irritated sulk. “There is nothing little about it.”

“Ha! Prove it!”

It was as if the entire diner and perhaps the world fell into silence. Had the clatter of the dishes being washed in the back kitchen not rung their ears, she would have thought she grew suddenly deaf.

“I didn’t mean it… sorry, I’ll stop,” she mumbled slowly and pressed her fingers to her mouth while shaking her head at her stupid behaviour. That was it, this was to be the last afternoon she would ever hang out with Henry and right now, she couldn’t even bring herself to look at him.

Henry chewed onto the inside of his cheeks, trying to stop the words that came faster than his thoughts.

“You didn’t?... Because I’ll definitely be up for proving...”

She blinked at his words and tilted her head, hoping that he won’t notice the wild tremors that shook her limbs, “What was that?”

“I... yes? No?...I… fuck!”

Henry lowered his head and slapped his palms across his face, rubbing back and forth with an utter meltdown while mumbling, “Forgive me,” a couple of times. He couldn’t care less of what the waitresses or whoever was watching would think of him; all he cared about was to make her feel comfortable around him again and maybe… even make her like him?

“Henry?”

Soft and warm her voice called to him, slowly pulling him from his anguish like a sailor being rescued from a sunken ship. His blue sapphires shone, an ocean of confusion and anxiety still pooling within while he peered back at her face that was now smiling at him a mixture of comfort and exhilaration.

“Would you like some of my milkshake?”

#henry cavill #henry cavill rpf #henry cavill x reader #henry cavill x ofc #henry cavill fanfiction

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muffindaddystyles · 3 years

Note

22! angst to fluff pls love ur works <333

THANK YOU SM EVERYONE FOR REQUESTING HOPE YA'LL LIKE IT LOVE YAA !!!!!!

Harry hates one thing, most. That’s silence. Still, Y/N gave him a silent treatment knowing how much it drives him insane. It pinches him in throat in the most sickening way and makes him vicious about their fights more.

She has her reason too. Anyone would have a right to be mad if their boyfriend will be seen going to bars with models and cherry on top it turns out be his ex.

In his defence it was a PR stunt to keep the quietude about his dating life since Y/N and Harry’s relationship is private for Y/N's sake.

“You could’ve atleast told me, tha' you were going with her?” Was all she said. Confusion and insecurities and the images of her glued all over him mocked her in the most brutal way before she was distancing herself away from him.

He did anything in his will to bring her back to him, apologised and tried to shower her in kisses, making her brekkie and staying at home but she kept on pushing him away.

The problem wasn’t him. It was her. She blamed herself. He’s been nothing but so gentle with her and she’s towing him away like a used tissue.

Harry knew Y/N anxiety was always at bay and he didn’t want to worsen it by going public but it was biting him in arse as questions upon questions were thrown at him for past three years.

It's Saturday morning and she appears from the guest room after ages, the sight for sore eyes.

Harry’s eyes that were staring the tiled wall of kitchen flitters towards her and his gaze turns soft when he sees her drowned into one of his lilac sweater (she missed him so much and felt awfully hollow and cold sleeping in the bed that doesn’t smell like him at all; so she did what could comfort her best).

She looks so small and frail as if the demons of the lone bedroom swallowed her whole.

Heavy eyebags digging away the glimmer in her eyes, her cheekbones prominent and the pinkness of her eyes visible telling how much she’s been crying.

He turns expressionless on purpose when she meets his gaze and isn’t what she wanted? Some space to figure her thoughts out – but that polite gesture turned into a silent treatment from Harry’s side this time.

She knows that he’s more of a meanie in this game than her because he’s the one that never let things bottle up, his eyes gives away everything but right now they’re just murk of anger.

“Can we talk?” Her voice dim from crying for days and Harry elevates his shoulders carelessly, wrinkles on his forehead and his frown deep as he shrugs, “Dunno. Realized t’pick y'puppet back, your eminence?” His taunt hits her right in chest and she blinks the moisture in her eyes away looking down at her fingers fumbling with the frays of the hem.

He’s cloaked with sadness and dejection from her misbehaviour.

He’s the most petty when she’s the reason of his agony.

“I hate how much I care about, you.” He spats. Knuckles turning white from his grip around the marble counter and Y/N listens —— because good, she should now she’s out of her own bubble.

“How much I’ve told y'that no-one ‘n damn nothin’ could come between us —-" His tone dripping with malevolence and bitterness it tears Y/N up.

“Don’t make promises you can’t keep, Harry!!” She almost shouts. Shaky fingers contemplating to rip at her hair and her tears now shines at her cheeks, Harry elicits a flak taunting chuckle.

“See you’ve never trusted our love. Can y'fo’ once get outta y’head?” His own eyes glossy and his cheeks flushing rosy from the impact.

“You don’t want to bear what comes with lovin' me, don’t want me to cover up tha’ fo' you and you couldn’t spend a single day without doubting us,” He licks the salt away from his lips and his heart pauses a slow beat when Y/N's lips wobbles -- incoherent blabbers slipping past her swollen lips.

“What d'ya want then!?” The loud snap of his abrasive voice hitches her breath and she sobs out sorrowfully, “I just want you.” He sighs in defeat. Not really pondering over the severity and nuance of his words before speaking.

“Falling in love with you was the stupidest thing I’ve ever done in my life.” That was the last blow for Y/N. She gasps out a cry. Pupils bursting wide and her insides falls sick as the itching goosebumps pin-prickles at her skin.

Everything gets struck for a moment. Harry’s expression matches her as he realizes what damage he has caused and to confirm it a blaring thunder roars through the sky.

Y/N gulps the achy feeling in her throat and just nods silently retreating back through the steps that led her to him and he’s rushing behind her in fret only to get the door to be slammed on his face.

He curses himself. Hitting his forehead into the door frame, that was the lowest and most cheapest fucking insult you could’ve managed to throw her way you dick.

“Y/N. I’m —-...fuck.” He knows that a sorry will be too humiliating for the hurt he has caused her.

While, Y/N sits on the floor at the most corner of the room with her knees bunched up to her chest. His hurtful words rings in her skull and she stuffs her face into her elbow sobbing into it watching the bear Harry won for her in a carnival with doleful blurry vision.

Through his whole life the only decision he regrets is loving me – out of every stupid thing he thinks our love is the most stupidest, what if it's the end? How I'll live without him? It’s impossible.

Forgetting hurts the more than grieving and she’d never be able to do that.

Her toes numbs to tingles and she feels herself drowning somewhere into pitch darkness, her heart lurching ruefully at each knock Harry taps on the door and her stomach burns with acidy sting lungs knotting tight making her gasp for oxygen.

Her panic attack crawling up her body in beasty blood curling gashes and she attempts to shout a plead for Harry but white dots appears at the back of her eyelids tripping her into mountain of floor pillows.

It knocks the vase out and it shatters beside her head, “Y/N! Baby!” Harry pounds at the door and when doesn’t hear a response from her side he’s kicking it open harshly.

The lock unhinges as he rushes inside worrisome and his world shatters when he sees his lovie struggling for a breather, her petite body trembling and shaking with each gasp that bolts her throat more and she nearly begs for him to do something.

He’s falling beside her on the floor and embracing her pliant figure in his gentle hold, “’S okay. ‘S okay.” He croaks out wiping his own tears with the sleeve of his hoodie.

He rubs her tummy in soothing circles then trails his clammy palm up her chest and maintains an eye contact with her panicked ones. Her breath shudders when she tries to calm it back and her nails digs into his skin in doing so.

“Doing s'good f'me darling, yeah —-..yeah.” He bobs his head vigorously and assuring-ly stroking his thumb against her soaky cheek tenderly in pacifying motions.

Her breath lulls slowly back into a pattern and she jerks a little while inhaling a nourishing puff, “Take a breath honey, yes princess just like that.” He whispers speckling a tiny kiss to her forehead.

He pushes her up with a firm hand on her hip and into his lap murmuring sweet dottings into her ear, “Squeeze me hand if you could hear me baby.” He just wants to be reassured she’s doing okay –- his face crooked against her pulse point into her throat and she does so giving a weak squish to his fingers.

“Jeez.” He bumps her chin up with his head and touches their temples together – eskimo kissing her nose and her eyelids flutter when he pecks her mouth ever so lightly.

His insides are shaking anxiously from fright and he again hugs her warmly to feel her.

“’M sorry. So sorry lovie' didn’t –-.. didn’t mean to hurt ya, swear moppet was just upset tha’ y’were being so far from me. I love you so much precious ....." He presses his wet lips to the side of her head and buries his nose in her hair -- arms tightening around her waist.

".... and I don’t think lovin' you is stupid. Thinks tha’ ‘s the only best thing I’ve ever done in me life ... could never love anyone like that.” He mumbles cradling her sweaty face into his palms and patches soft kisses all over her face.

She hiccups a whimper. Nose quivering and lip wobbling — letting him kiss her pout and fists the flimsy fabric of his hoodie in her teensy hands compared to him, “’M sorry too. Sorry f'acting childish and not talking to you about it. I’m just scared I’m getting too obsessed with the idea of us and it’ll ruin us pathetically.”

“Wait. Wait woah baby ...” He grabs her gently with shoulders and pulls her back from him, “’S tha’ why you were trying to live off all by yourself?” He asks politely a bit glum she was enduring all of that herself.

When she tries to hide her face out of timidness he hooks his thumb under her chin and highers it up, “Y/N.”

“Thinks you love me so intensely?” She sniffs nodding in agreement and he smiles sweetly.

“Then fuckin' do it silly. Why d'ya think I wouldn’t want that lovlin? I want to be so loved by my sweet baby.” He almost falls back when she slings her arms around the nape of his neck and brings him down for a cuddle.

“I love you so much my Angel.” He murmurs with his face squished into her neck and fills his lungs with her warm vanillay scent.

She rubs her cheek up and down his chest like an affectionate starved puppy then stops where his heart lays under the trap of bones and kisses it three times.

Her love language. When she isn’t able to utter something she’s always appreciating him with loving actions and at the moment she did the same to exchange the sentiment.

Three kisses to heart means, “I love you so much it aches me.” He immediately catches it and pecks her nose.

"I know bub, I know."

#HARRY STYLES ANGST #harry styles angst.#harry styles angsty imagines #harry styles angsty blurb #harry styles imagine #harry styles #harry styles blurb #harry styles smut #harry smut #harry styles fanfiction #harry angst #fluff #harry styles one shots #cute harry #harry styles dirty one shot #harry styles fanfic

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yunoysl · 3 years

Text

Punch | jjh

Summary: When you asked Jaehyun to teach you how to give a blowjob, you didn’t expect for it to turn into friends with benefits.

Pairing: underground fighter + badboy!jaehyun x fem!reader

Word count: 2.1k

Warnings: blowjob, cunnilingus, unprotected sex, breeding, fingering, lots of smut, slight praising

Hope you like it! feedback is greatly appreciated!

You’re normally not one for parties, but you’re actually really glad that your best friend Mark dragged you to it. You’ve been having a really good time. You were expecting to be miserable throughout the whole thing, so you’re glad that it’s the opposite.

“What did I tell you?”

“Okay, so it’s not as bad as I thought it would be”

“Hey peoples” Jaehyun, who you and Mark have known for two years now, showed up with a drink in his hand, which he gave to you.

“Hey Jae” Mark asked him before leaving you two alone. “I’m gonna go find Haechan, make sure he’s not passed out somewhere on the floor”

You and Jaehyun were both left alone, catching up with each other before you decided to ask him the burning question you’ve been wanting to ask him for a while now.

“Can you teach me how to give a blowjob”

“Come again?”

You sighed, “you heard me the first time”

“Uhh... where did this come from?”

“Well being here, I realized that I don’t know anything about that kind of stuff”

“Umm.... okay. Let’s go somewhere private when we can do this” you followed him to an empty bedroom before shutting the door behind you.

“First thing you have to do is get on your knees”

“Yeah I figured that was the first step” you got on your knees, the floor being very uncomfortable.

“Take me in your mouth, yeah like that, lick me from the base to the tip” you did as he said, still slightly confused on what to do but starting to get the hang of it. His tip was already dripping with precum, the clear coating evident on the pink tip. You decided to be smugly bold and lick it off, which was clearly the right move since his body jumped in shock.

“Look at you, getting the hang of it. Take me in your mouth again” you were eager to have him in your mouth, almost gagging as you tried to take all of him in. “Calm down, I’m not going anywhere. Go slow. Bob your head up and down” you tried again to take as much of him as you could, this time being more successful. His hand tangled in your hair as you started gagging around him. His hips jolted as your tongue swirled around him.

He moaned out as he slightly pulled on your hair, “Aren’t you a quick learner, you’re doing great, so fucking great.” His head was thrown back as your mouth worked wonders, learning quickly how to suck him well. His cock twitched, telling you that he was close.

“You don’t have to swallow if you don’t want to” you gave one more suck before he came in your mouth. His cock twitched as the thick liquid filled your mouth. The taste wasn’t the worst thing in the world, but you didn’t mind it.

When you came back up you wiped your mouth with the back of your hand, Jaehyun panting and out of breath.

“You did really well” you stood up from your knees, slightly in pain from the cold hard floor.

“Thanks, I had a good teacher” you didn’t fail to see his ears get red from the compliment. You both left and decided to head back to the party, deciding not to talk about what just happened when you were both bombarded with questions on where you were and why you were gone for a while.

You didn’t expect this one favor to lead to something bigger.

“I’m assuming you’re Jaehyun’s little friend”

That’s all you’ve been asked since you arrived. At first it warmed your heart that Jaehyun had talked about you, but now you’re just curious over how much he exactly talked about you in order for so many people to ask you that.

You’ve never been to one of Jaehyun’s matches, only ever heard about how it goes and what it’s like.

You were finally able to spot Jaehyun, he was shirtless only wear shorts. You can’t lie that what he was wearing did things to you.

“You’re here” the way his dimples popped out when he smiled melted your heart. “I didn’t think you would come”

“I can’t miss out on seeing the one and only Jaehyun at one of his matches”

“Thanks, means a lot coming from you” you don’t get to respond as he’s being called for his turn.

You don’t know anything about fighting, but it’s very obvious that he’s amazing at what he does. Jaehyun obviously won. It didn’t take long for him to knock out the other guy. Jaehyun offering to take you to a local diner to celebrate. You didn’t deny his request, you really like Jaehyuns company, he always knows exactly what to say to make you laugh.

Jaehyun decided to come over while you were in the middle of studying. You allowed him to stay as long as he didn’t disturb you while you were busy. He was doing really good at first, but after a hour he got bored and decided to start playing with you.

“Jaehyun, please...”

“Please what?”

“Either stop teasing me or just fuck me already”

“Eager little one, aren’t you?” He rubbed your clit over your sweats. “No more studying, you’re gonna focus on me now”

He pushed two fingers into you, knuckles deep as your head leaned back in your desk chair. His long and slender fingers reaching places into you that had you moaning out into the quiet room.

“Oh my god” he speeds his fingers up, curling them towards your sweet spot.

“I’m the only one who can make you feel this way” he rubs your clit with his thumb, his fingers reaching heavenly places inside you. You clenched around him, it being obvious to Jaehyun that you were close.

“Are you coming? Come on my fingers” that was all that you needed to finish on his fingers. He yanked his fingers from your heat once you were done, leaving you empty and kinda wanting more. But you’ll never tell him that.

“Now will you let me do my work?”

“Hmm.... fine. Do your work like the good girl you are, I have to go pick up lunch for Jaemin and I anyways” he brings your mouth to his to leave a kiss before collecting his stuff to leave.

“Can I eat you out?”

You didn’t expect that to be the first thing Jaehyun greeted you with when you arrived at his match.

“Hello to you too, my day was great thanks for asking” he rolled his eyes playfully before driving his attention back to you.

“Answer my question, can I eat your pussy?”

You looked around terrified as there were people going in and out around you. “Jaehyun, can you lower your voice”

“Please, baby? I’ll be quick I promise” he grabbed your hand to rub circles on it, and you can’t lie that that gesture made your heart quicken.

“Oka-“ you weren’t even able able to finish before he was dragging you to the bathroom. He quickly locked the door before placing you on the sink. He quickly removed your jeans and underwear before diving his mouth into you, eager to have a taste of you before his match.

“You’re already wet” Jaehyun cooed. His tongue was quick to lick your folds, making you moan loud at the pleasure. He was licking and sucking your dripping center, your vision starting to get blurry. His skilled tongue swirling and lapped at your juices. He ate you out like a starved man as his mouth sucked on your clit, his tongue running along your sensitive folds.

“J-Jaehyun.... please” he abused your clit while he dragged his tongue up your lips and delivered fast licks, your legs threatening to close around his head from the pleasure.

“You’re so sweet, like a dessert” he mumbled into your core while still licking your folds and clit. He made long firm licks all over your clit, making your legs be on the verge of shaking. Your sweet juices collected on his tongue, making him moan out as he didn’t leave out a single drop.

Your finally came undone, his tounge pressing a firm lick over your dripping folds and clit. His mouth and chin was glistening in your essence when he finally pulled away after cleaning you up.

“That should be able to put me through this match”

You smacked his shoulder, “I hate you” you’re kind of embarrassed that you let Jaehyun drag you to the bathroom to eat your pussy solely because he was craving the taste before his match.

You’re at another party, this time you came willingly without Mark having to beg for you to come.

“Oh wow you actually came. Round of applause everyone.” Mark said as soon as you stepped into the kitchen where he was filling up his red solo cup.

“Shut up Mark”

“Oh she actually came” Jaemin asks as soon as he steps in the kitchen, in complete shock to see you there.

“I know right. And I didn’t have to beg this time”

“I don’t see why you always want me to come to these things, you have Jaemin to keep your company”

“Yeah, for like the first 10 minutes, then he leaves to shove his throat down a girls throat”

“It’s not my fault I’m attractive, I mean look at me.”

“You’re both annoying” You don’t get to hear their responses as Jaehyun shows up out of nowhere only to drag you away, pulling you up the stairs to an empty bedroom.

“Hello to you too”

“I’ve been needing you” he looks into your eyes, trying to see if you’re uncomfortable and don’t want to do this. When he finds nothing he’s quick to undress himself before working on you.

You’re glad you decided to wear a shirt skirt instead of pants like you originally planned.

He moves himself on the bed before pulling you on top of him, attaching his mouth to yours before rubbing his tip up and down entrance. “Such a pretty cunt”

He slowly eased you down on his cock. You moaned at the feeling of him filling you up. Once you’re adjusted, he doesn’t waste time pounding into you, his hips rutting against you. A loud cry that mimicked something of his name fell from your lips, making Jaehyun grab your hips to control you. Throwing your head back, Jaehyun’s cock found your soft spot. His hips snapped against yours as his pace quickened, pounding into you at an unbelievable pace. You felt so full, his cock hitting all the right places. Jaehyun can’t get enough of your moans, they’re music to his ears as he drags his cock against your walls.

“Can you come for me?” You both finally finish at the same time, his cum filling you up to the brim. His cum leaks out when he pulls out, the sight making him moan out. You both clean up before heading back down, deciding to go to his place to finish what you were doing without anyone else around.

You’ve had this friends with benefits thing with Jaehyun for a little over two months now, and at first it was going really well for you, but after a while the more Jaehyun stayed over after you were both done, the more he told you sweet words while he was inside you, the more you wanted to be something more to him.

“I’m in too deep, Mark” you’re currently on FaceTime with Mark, ranting to him about how you’ve caught feelings.

“I told you friends with benefits doesn’t work out” you sigh loudly, frustrated on why you decided to agree to this in the first place. “I’m sorry I can’t help you out”

“It’s okay, I’ll figure this out myself”

“Okay, I’m here to help if you need it”

“I know, bye Mark” you quickly hang up, torn on how to feel. The only reason you agreed to this is because you didn’t expect to catch any feelings. But every time Jaehyun was sweet to you, showering you with love and affection, it made you fall even more. You want to be more, but you also don’t want to ruin everything you’ve both had for two years. All that, just down the drain because you caught feelings.

You don’t really blame yourself for falling for Jaehyun, anyone would be lucky to be with him. He sings amazing, the amount of times you’ve praised his singing voice whenever you’re both in the car. He has the sweetest smile, the cutest flushed cheeks with precious dimples.

You don’t know what to do, and you’re not sure how to confront him about this.

#jaehyun scenarios #jaehyun au #jaehyun imagines #nct smut #nct 127 smut #jaehyun x reader #jaehyun smut

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taestefully-in-luv · 3 years

Text

The Island | KTH (Twelve)

Summary: You’re just two strangers waking up in a room on a lonely island where a company in the business of love has placed you. They believe that thanks to their in depth research you two are destined soulmates. What happens when your ‘soulmate’ and you want nothing to do with each other but falling in love is the only way to leave?

Pairing: Taehyung x Female reader

Genre: strangers to lovers, very slight enemies to lovers, soulmates au, roommate au, slow burn, fluff, smut, angst, slight crack, and drama.

Word Count: 7.1k

Warnings: swearing, alcohol consumption, angst.

Notes: I know it’s short but here is chapter 12. It’s mostly just sad so please don’t hate me! Enjoy the chapter:) Let me know if you want to be added to the taglist, or send an ask if just want to chat about the stories!:)

Taglist: @ggukkieland @707sblog @peacedreamer14 @dopedreamfireparty @taebae19 @typicalgenzworld @mooniyooni @helenazbmrskai @justinetingball @jpeachytaev @marplest @calling-dips-on-j-hope @lecavivien @fancycollectormoon @mawwnsterr @siredsong @happyhrsme

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The cold chill you feel is either from the apartments running AC or your rattling nerves…it’s incredibly hard to tell which. You may feel like your insides are turning against you but your exterior is oddly calm. Being back in the quiet, chilly apartment with Taehyung feels like you are trapped in another dimension, where you are viewing yourself outside of your own body.

You both sit here in silence. The quiet is loud though, it booms and echoes and has you covering your ears for a moment. You aren’t sure what Taehyung is thinking but it must be a lot. He hasn’t even parted his lips as if words might escape him…no, it is more as if his mouth has been sewn shut. You aren’t much better though, you admit. But you realize the one who has to have courage here is you.

“Taehyung.” You finally say his name, the soft, calm tone of your voice is enough to make him flinch in guilt. “Tell me everything.” You request quietly. “Tell me why Hana is so attached. What keeps Hana from giving up? I want the truth.”

Taehyung raises his head to look at you, you see the way his Adam’s apple bobs as he gulps down his ever growing guilt. You just want the truth, the story, the explanation but he is struggling to find words. He feels the back of his eyes beginning to burn, he feels his chest tightening and his palms growing with pools of sweat. He hates this. He hates the truth, he hates the story and he hates the explanation. But he knows you deserve it. And he himself deserves to say it so he can face it and let it go…if it is that easy.

Taehyung wipes his hands on his jeans, repeating the action as he hopes they dry soon but they don’t. Not when he is this nervous, this anxious, this panicked. He loves you, he loves you, he loves you. He keeps saying these words over and over in his mind. He loves you.

“I told her I loved her.” He finally says, the words tumbling out of his mouth. He doesn’t look at you, his eyes falling to his hands.

Your brows immediately pinch together, your confusion growing and growing. You aren’t really sure that you heard him correctly. You aren’t really sure you want to have heard him correctly.

Taehyung slams his eyes shut as he grits his teeth together.

“But it isn’t like that, I promise you.”

You blink repeatedly, your eyes trying to find his but he avoids your gaze. You quickly shake your head and swallow your spit.

“You what?” you finally mumble.

Taehyung lifts his head higher and finally looks at you properly. His eyes are wet with tears, his lip trembling but he stops it by biting down on it.

“Fuck.” He closes his eyes again, a few tears slipping past the closed lids. “You don’t understand…” he tries to say. “It isn’t like that. I just…fuck, I really…”

“No excuses. Just an explanation.” You gulp. “Tell me exactly what happened.” You feel your chest closing in on you as you speak but you try to remain calm. “Everything.”

Taehyung is mad. He’s hurt. He’s betrayed. Your silence continues to destroy him. But is ‘mad’ even a good enough word to describe this rage that is building so fiercely inside him? Every day that passes he continues to spiral into a deep, deep pit. He feels helpless as soon as he opens his eyes, starting a new day. He feels small and vulnerable in those first few seconds after waking up. He doesn’t want to wake up anymore.

It’s gotten that bad, hasn’t it? That the thought of existing in this life makes him feel weak and useless. He can’t do this anymore. Who is he? Who was he? You know, before you. His body grows weaker every day, his mind withering away into dust. He doesn’t remember. The island feels like a dream now, and he just wants to sleep.

It’s been months of silence. It’s been hell. An eternal hell. What did he do? Why is this happening to him? Why is he going through this? Don’t you miss him? Don’t you love him? Taehyung is slowly breaking down more and more as the days pass, his insecurities overflowing and his loneliness consuming him. This place he is in…is dark.

His friends are worried of course and they try to spend as much time with him as possible. They are constantly trying to make him smile, make him laugh, make him breathe a little easier but this cloud over Taehyung’s head is dark. It flashes bright bolts of lightning, it carries the strongest winds and ice cold rain. Every day their hearts break more and more but they do not give up.

The night time air is warm tonight, maybe even slightly humid. Taehyung is already drunk, his intoxicated mind and body showing up late to the bar to meet his friends. He is in a strange mood today. A mood where he hates you. Despises you. And seeing Hana trying her hardest to woo him makes him feel like an ounce of insecurity is vanishing from his body.

But he didn’t expect this. He didn’t expect to be busting through his front door…kissing her, groping her, swallowing her moans. He isn’t here. Not really. Physically he is touching her, kissing her, making her feel good. But really, he is elsewhere. His mind full of you. You. You. You. Taehyung groans in frustration, in anger. But your face doesn’t leave his mind. His brain torturing him with images of you. He sees flashes of your face expressing emotion after emotion.

He loves you so much it is physically destroying him. He feels like his bones are shattering, like his skin is fucking burning, like his heart is being squeezed so harshly. And it is in your hands. You are responsible. But he isn’t entirely sure how he found himself in this position—inside her. Inside Hana. Inside someone who isn’t you.

Her moans fill his ears, the sound like nails on a chalkboard, like a screeching so unbearable it is overwhelming him in the worst way. His mind finds you again and again. He loves you. He hates you. He loves you. He hates you. He hates himself. He hates himself so fucking much. Why wasn’t he good enough then? Why isn’t he good enough even now? He hates you. He has to hate you. Your face haunts him.

He thrusts in and out of Hana, his weak body barely holding up as he fucks her. Your face, your beautiful face haunting him like a dedicated ghost of his past. He squeezes his eyes shut but your face continues to linger behind his closed lids. He hates you. He hates you. He hates you but FUCK. He fucking loves you. He loves you so much. He hurts so badly. He can’t function properly. So much hate. So much love. He sees you. He sees your face. And it is enough to push him over the edge, coming inside his condom. He wants to hate you. He has to hate you. But—

“I love you.” He cries out, his head falling onto Hana’s shoulder. He breathes out roughly, tears pricking his glossy eyes. But then he freezes. Even his breathing has stopped all at once. He realizes his mistake when he feels Hana freeze too.

“You what? You love—”

“Wait, wait, wait.” Taehyung lifts himself from her shoulder, “Wait.” He repeats over, his mouth going dry. He didn’t mean to say that…especially not to her. His mind was just overflowing and overwhelmed with you…he didn’t mean to let those words slip from his lips.

“Taehyung—”

“Fuck.” He rolls off her body, “I can’t fucking do this right now.” He stands from the bed, drags on some shorts and takes a bottle of soju from his nightstand. “Fuck.” He says, giving one last glance to Hana before rushing off to the bathroom.

Hana is confused but is quick to jump to her feet and try to follow him but he’s faster than her as he slams the bathroom door shut and locks it. She rattles the knob, begging to be let in. She pounds her small fists on the wooden door, she begs for an explanation. Could he really feel the same as her? She’s panicking. She wants to believe that but before than anything she just senses that something is wrong. Really wrong.

Taehyung begins spiraling further and further. The dark pit pulling him in intensely. What the hell did he do? What is he doing? He’s a coward. He locked himself away, hiding from reality. Which is what? Even he doesn’t know. He brings the bottle of soju to his lips and starts chugging it back, his eyes on himself in the mirror. He’s pathetic. His drunken vision making everything around him blurry…he’s becoming so dizzy, so sick.

After a while, Hana has given up and retreated back to the bedroom and assumingly fell asleep in his bed. Around an hour or so has passed. He feels his world collapsing around him. He feels how everything around him is cracking and breaking apart. But the most cracked, broken thing is him. He looks at himself in the mirror and stares into his empty eyes, these same eyes that used to gaze at you. These same eyes that saw your smile, laugh, cry. These same eyes that undressed you. These same eyes that saw you coming undone over and over. These same eyes.

Taehyung stares at himself, hating what he sees. You’re doing this to him. He went from being miserably depressed to angry. He’s beginning to blame you for everything with rage. But as much as he wants to hate you—he does want to—he just can’t. He can’t gather that type of energy in your direction. He just can’t.

So many different thoughts have gone through Taehyung’s head. Is he hard to love? That’s the main question that came out of all of this. You spent every day with him for 8 months and you weren’t even sure of your feelings. Shouldn’t a person know by then? He’s trying to be understanding…he is trying so fucking hard to understand but how can he? When he is balls deep in love with you and he doesn’t have to question it at all.

He is spiraling, he is being sucked into a darkness that he can’t crawl out of. He looks at himself in the mirror again, his eyes narrowing at his own reflection—disgusted with what he sees. He grips the empty bottle of soju as he feels his eyes wet with tears. He grips on to the bottle harder and harder, tears now leaving his big brown eyes. He growls out, groaning in frustration as he lifts the bottle up and throws it at his mirror. Glass shattering everywhere.

Startled, Hana jumps from the bed and rushes to the loud sound. She pounds on the door again until Taehyung finds himself unlocking it. She opens the door and sees Taehyung just standing lifeless, continuing to eye himself in the broken mirror. He likes what he sees much better. The cracked glass making for a better reflection, a more accurate representation of what he truly sees when he views himself.

“What the fuck?!” Hana yells out, rushing to Taehyungs side. “Are you okay???”

Taehyung walks closer to the mirror and lightly slides his hand down the cracked mirror, his fingers careful not to get cut.

“No.” he answers honestly and quietly. “I’m not.”

Hana is breathing roughly, her worries and anxieties only multiplying. What’s going on? Is this your doing? Are you to blame? The girl from the island?

Taehyung clears his throat as he finishes telling you his truth, his story, his explanation. His big, brown eyes look at you with tears, with sadness so deep it makes you nauseas. His eyes search yours, his hand reaching out to touch you but you are quick to pull back.

You are stunned silent. You truly do not know what to say. Your mind tries to focus on the fact that Hana thinks Taehyung told her he loves her but you keep thinking of everything else that was said, the broken mirror…the broken Taehyung. What did you do to him? What have you done to him mentally? Emotionally? Suddenly, Jungkook’s hesitance towards you makes even more sense. You understand his concerns but also Hana’s concerns. She called you a bitch and she is right.

It also makes sense why Taehyung feels so guilty, so responsible. He really fucked up. His guilt ridden state proves it. He’s guilty. Just like you. How is any of this healthy? You try to take a few deep breaths but you struggle. You aren’t sure where a steady breath is but you search for it regardless. You take your time trying to just fucking breathe. Taehyung becomes antsy just sitting here. He sighs out over and over, his eyes darting all around the room.

“Please y/n. Say something. Something, anything. Just anything at this point. Yell at me, hit me, but at least react! Please y/n.” he starts getting choked up on his words, his deep voice cracking in desperation. “Please say something.”

You just shake your head.

“y/n.” he begins to beg harder now, “Please baby, please.” He’s quick to jumble all of his words, he starts to re-explain himself now. Starting the story over from the beginning. His voice grows louder and louder as he cries out, he begins to break down. His tears falling from his swollen eyes, his breaths are sharp and his words are starting to lose their sense.

You just watch him with sad, tired eyes. Finally you open your mouth to speak just to whisper, “What did I do to you?” you let a moment linger before you stand from the couch and walk to his bedroom. The pitter patter of your footsteps drowned out by the sound of his tears. You walk inside the room and softly close the bedroom door…Taehyung manages to hear the click of the lock. While all you manage to hear is the sound of his cries.

~~~~~

You’re in a state of shock, maybe. You are in state so far away from your physical self that you have come to accept you aren’t one with your body right now. You’ve been locked in Taehyung’s room for like, two days now. You haven’t heard anything from outside…you wonder if Taehyung is even here. You don’t expect him to be.

Your phone starts buzzing and you shakily reach out for it when you see Ellie’s name on the screen.

“Hello?” Your voice is quiet, shaken, defeated.

“Want to explain your texts to me?” Ellie says on the other line, “Why the hell are you sending me paragraphs talking about how you are a horrible person?”

“Because I am.” You say, your guilt bubbling over all over again. “I am the worst.”

“I find that hard to believe…but why?”

“Not talking to him…ruined him El.” You start to sniffle…”I ruined him. He acts like he’s okay now but how much of this is fake? How much of this is he just covering up with a forced smile?”

“Hey, hey.” Ellie sighs out, “You knew things weren’t going to be easy going into this—”

“Yeah but when is enough, enough?” you cut her off, “This isn’t healthy. For either of us.”

“y/n. Wait.” You can imagine Ellie closing her eyes in frustration as she listens to you. “Don’t tell me you are giving up already?”

“It isn’t giving up…it’s just..”

“You love him, right? He loves you, right?”

“Is love enough?” you ask quietly. “There’s so much hurt…there’s so much that is unresolved.”

“Then work it out! Talk about it! Fucking communicate!” Elli blurts out, “Jesus y/n. This man is the love of your life and you’re not even willing to work on it? This wasn’t going to be easy. You knew that from the beginning. This was going to be hard. This was going to take work. For fucks sake, you two were traumatized. You two were put into a complicated situation and you somehow still found your way back to each other.” You nibble on your lips as you listen to your sister. “I’m sorry to be tough on you but god, someone has to set you straight! You can’t give up on this.”

“O-Okay…” you sigh out, “I’ll try.” Then you feel your phone buzz on your ear…you pull the phone back to take a look at the notification, only to see a text from Jimin.

“I love you y/n. I just want you to think things through properly. You know?”

“I love you too. Yeah, I get it.” You say. “I’m going to try to get some sleep…I’ll call you later?”

“Keep me up to date.” Ellie says before saying her goodbyes and hanging up.

You breathe out, trying to calm yourself after the conversation you two just had. Is Ellie right? It’s just…you knew Taehyung had a hard time but you didn’t know it was that bad. You get distracted from your thoughts when your phone buzzes again.

Jimin 8:04pm

Can you come over?

Jimin 8:10pm

Please.

Your chest once again starts closing in on you as you read his texts. You rise from Taehyung’s bed and slip on a t shirt and some shorts, you smooth down your hair and walk to the bedroom door. You place your ear on the wood and wait for any sound of life…but there is none. You slowly creep open the door and poke your head out. He’s not here.

y/n 8:14pm

He’s not there is he?

Jimin 8:24pm

No.

You sigh in relief. You step out into the living room, find your shoes and text Jimin that you are on your way. Lucky, his place is walking distance.

As soon as the chilly air hits you, you feel that same chill you felt in the apartment a couple days ago. Is it the weather or your nerves? Your mind has been in a state of uneasiness since Taehyung told you about the night with Hana…but you also feel lost, you feel empty. You haven’t even been able to cry. You’ve just been so disoriented. Like your soul has been misplaced.

The streets of Seoul are quiet tonight…maybe in honor of your feelings. You walk slowly, taking your time to get to Jimin’s. Too afraid of what he might say. Your mind begins over thinking, your mind goes into over drive. You finally stand outside his place and take a deep, deep breath.

You hesitate at first, but finally your fist is knocking on his door. You wait a few moments before the door is being opened and a Jimin with tired eyes greets you.

“You’re here.” He says softly. “Come inside.” He stands to the side to let you in.

His place smells of lavender. It’s subtle and soothing and you find yourself inhaling the scent, the aroma calming you.

“How are you?” You hear from behind you, his voice careful but sweet.

You turn around to face him, your eyes finding his and you see how they are full of sympathy, full of pity and your face immediately scrunches up into a look of pure devastation.

“I know.” He whispers. “Come here.” He opens his arms, ready for you to walk into them. You hesitate…not entirely too sure if you will find automatic comfort in Jimin but somehow you feel your feet walking forward. Your head bumps into his chest, your shoulders begin shaking in his grasp. You can’t control it. The pain you feel.

“It’s okay, I am here for you.” He whispers softly, his hand finding your back and rubbing it soothingly. “You can cry.” And you do. You open your mouth against his shirt and a whine of sadness escapes you. Your shut eyes streaming with fallen tears, your cheeks getting soaked. He sighs out as he holds you, his hand still patting your back as he tells you it’s okay.

“Jimin.” You sob against him, “I don’t know what to do. Everything’s so fucked up.” You cry harder and harder as he tells you he knows. His smooth voice is all the comfort you need…but his arms is the true source of comfort right now. You cry like this for a while, time zooming past you as you let go of all of your emotions. Jimin finds himself getting teary eyed at your break down.

“y/n…” Jimin finally says something after a while of you just quietly sniffling into his chest, “You doing okay?”

You slowly begin to pull away from him, your face puffy with swollen eyes and snot running down your nose. You subtlety nod your head and he gives you a small, soft smile.

“He ended things with Hana, you know? They won’t be in contact anymore.” He tells you, but he sees how you don’t even react.

“Isn’t that good?” he asks, “You won’t have to worry about her.”

Taehyung and Hana stand outside the bar, she is sniffling and swaying from side to side. Although she is still drunk, this entire situation is beginning to sober her up. She cannot even look Taehyung in the eye though, she’s too nervous.

“Hana.” Taehyung finally says her name. She hates the way the word leaves his mouth…like he tasted it and threw it away.

“I-I-I-…” Hana’s lips begins to quiver as she finally finds his cold eyes, “I’m so sorry.” She gets out, “I’m so sorry.” She steps forward but he steps back. “I don’t know what came over me. I regret it, Taehyung. I didn’t want to harm her in any way…I just… I was so overwhelmed with my feelings…”

“Hana…” he closes his eyes, then opens them to look at her properly.

Hana is a sweet girl. She always has been. But trying to throw a drink at you? That’s crossing a line but is it his fault?

“I’m not that type of person! I really, really don’t know what came over me Taehyung. I’m not like that…” she struggles to breathe, her words tumbling out of her mouth.

“I know.” He tells her. “I know.” His face hardens and he continues to stare at her with his old, distant eyes.

“Please don’t contact me anymore—”

Hana looks at him in disbelief, her face twisting into one of ever growing confusion.

“How could you ask that of me?” she spits out, “I’ve been so, so worried about you.”

Taehyung’s cheeks begin to grow red, his becomes embarrassed remembering that night…with the mirror. Why did she have to see that? See that side of him?

“I’ve been so worried.” She repeats and he bites his lips in guilt.

“Hana…I am so sorry.” He breathes out, closing his eyes again. “I’m so, so sorry.” He opens his eyes, they are full of regret. “I’m sorry you had to be there that night. I’m sorry I led you on that night…I’m sorry you witnessed an ugly side of me. And I am sorry I said “I love you.” But those words…” he pulls his brows together, guilt consuming him once more. “…Were not meant for you.”

“Whether you feel the same way as me or not doesn’t change the fact that I am worried. I still care about you.” She begins to grow angry, “You were miserable because of her!”

“I’m sorry but…you don’t actually know her. So you opinion on her hardly matters.”

“But what she did to you…”

“It was wrong.” He admits, his eyes glossing over. “It hurt me. But she had her own reasons, her own demons, her own fight with herself.” He tells Hana. “But again, I am so sorry. I didn’t mean to involve you like this. It wasn’t fair. But I am okay. I am okay now. y/n and I are working things out. She makes me happier than any sadness I went through.”

“You….you’re happier now?” she mumbles, wiping at her face. “You’re really okay now?”

“Yes.” He tries to smile. “I promise.”

“I’m going to choose to believe you…but please…be happy, Taehyung.”

“I will. But for the sake of my relationship…it’s best if we cut ties.” He tells her softly, “I appreciate your concerns…and you. But I really—”

“I get it.” Hana cuts him off. “I get it.” She nods her head, disappointment written all over her face. “Goodluck, Taehyung.”

You listen carefully to Jimin about how things went between Taehyung and Hana, you nod your head as he speaks and hum occasionally. But Jungkook’s words are lingering in your mind.

“Hana is the least of your worries.”

And he is right. Hana only opened the door and opened your eyes to the real problem : You.

“For fucks sake, woman.” Taehyung runs a hand down his face. “I am literally falling in love with you!”

Your eyes quickly dart across the room, you try to find something to focus on—anything but Taehyung.

“Look at me.” He demands of you. “Now.” And then you are feeling his fingers at your jaw as he softly guides you to face him. “I am going to make sure this works no matter what. And that will take a lot of fucking communication. So talk.”

“I…” your eyes finally find his, they’re like a pool of chocolate and you find yourself wanting to take a dip. “I don’t know if I am ready.” You breathe out, the admission making you feel small.

Taehyung gulps, his hands coming together to rest in his lap.

“Ready for what?” he asks, the nervousness evident in his voice.

“You.”

Taehyung’s hands are sweaty as he holds onto himself, bracing himself if you are to continue but you don’t. You stay silent as you search his eyes.

“Tae?”

Taehyung blinks at you, clearing his throat.

“I…” he begins, “I understand.”

“I do like you Taehyung.” You clarify before he can overthink. “I just—”

“I said I understand.” He reminds you softly. “And trust me, I know you like me, I would be blind to think you didn’t. I don’t play games y/n. I don’t want you to either. Be real with me, be honest.” He releases a shaky breath. “You’re still going through a lot, you probably don’t have closure…you probably have a lot to work out when you get back home.” He says quickly, “Love is the last thing on your mind—”

“That’s not true!” you cut in. “God, Taehyung you make me…you make me want to forget everything. You make me want to stay on this island with you for forever.”

Taehyung blinks at you again before he offers you a small smile.

“But that’s not real life y/n.” he looks down at his hands, “I want to experience real life with you.” He finds your eyes again, “And you aren’t ready for that.”

“I want to be.” Your eyes begin to wet with tears. “I really, really want to be.”

“I know baby.”

“Slow.” You scoot closer to him, “I still want to be in this. Just slow.” You say, not believing yourself. Your trauma isn’t your only problem here. It’s this whole damn company.

“You still want me?” Taehyung whispers softly and you begin to feel yourself melt into liquid, your body puddling on the couch.

“Tae…” you lean into his space, pecking his lips lightly. “Yes, of course.” You lean back and smile. “You mean so much to me…” you look down at his tense hands. You want to comfort him now. “You are such a light in my life.” You fingers cover his hands and your squeeze lightly. “I feel so strongly for you.” You admit. Hating yourself for being so drawn to him.

“Yeah?” he releases some of the tension in his body through a long, shaky breath.

“Yeah.”

“Then we have to communicate. I know it’s hard. But y/n, I am quite literally desperate to make this work.” He sighs, “I will do whatever it takes. And I just want to know if you will do the same.” His dark eyes pierce into yours and you find yourself being even more drawn to him, leaning closer and closer like he has you under some sort of spell.

“Yes, Taehyung. But…”

“She quit her job out of nowhere! Came back home? This isn’t damn suspicious to you honey?” Your moms voice is loud enough for you to hear from the living room.

“She said she has her reasons sweetheart. Let’s just trust her, be there for her.”

“Do you think this has anything to do with that boyfriend she had? You think they broke up?” you mother pries further, making your father roll his eyes.

“You think our daughter would move to another town just because of a break up?” he groans and you bite your bottom lip as you eavesdrop.

You hear your mother scoff, “Wouldn’t be that surprised. She’s known for running away when shit hits that fan.” She reminds your dad and you feel your eyes gloss over and the slight burn of your throat.

“Sweetheart…” you father warns, “Let’s just be there for her for now, she will come to us eventually.”

But will you? Even your father isn’t sure.

You feel the tightness in your chest only intensify as you recall your memories. Taehyung watches you with careful eyes as he thinks of your life and the things you’ve been through. He grabs you by the wrist and pulls you into his chest, your head getting buried into his shoulder and he starts to soothingly rub your back.

“You can cry if you need to.” His voice is soft, softer than you have ever heard it. This only pushes you to listen to him…you cry. You cry just as hard as you did in the elevator that first day. He rubs circles into your back and whispers sweet words into your hair. You hate this. You feel pathetic. But somehow you feel yourself getting freed with every tear that drops and soaks into his t shirt. You finally…finally after all this time, for the first time, feel someone’s support. You feel someone understand you, believe you.

“Taehyung…” you cry into his shirt harder as that realization hits you. “Taehyung…”

He slams his eyes shut and inhales you. The scent of your shampoo filling his senses and he goes dizzy.

“I’m here baby. I’m here.”

But he won’t always be here, you think. Once he goes home why wouldn’t he just continue to live his normal life? Why wouldn’t Hana wait for him? He’s amazing. He’s absolutely the best thing that has happened to you in the last year. Why wouldn’t someone wait for him?

This only makes you cry harder. He pulls you into his lap and continues to stroke your back. He is terrified. He won’t say that out loud, but he is. He is falling for you harder and harder with every moment he spends with you, good or bad. He just wants to protect you, to be there for you, to make you safe and happy.

“y/n?” he leans back to get a look at your crying face, but you only shove your face deeper onto his shoulder, refusing to be seen right now.

“Will you look at me?” he softly pleads. “Please.”

You hesitate for a moment but finally lift your head, showing him your swollen eyes and puffy lips.

“Still think you are falling in love with me?” you joke pathetically and Taehyung smiles sadly.

“I think I already am.”

You get pulled out of your memories with Jimin gently shaking your shoulder, he looks at you as your eyes fill with tears.

Taehyung gulps, his hands coming together to rest in his lap.

“Ready for what?” he asks, the nervousness evident in his voice.

“You.”

Taehyung’s hands are sweaty as he holds onto himself, bracing himself if you are to continue but you don’t. You stay silent as you search his eyes.

“Tae?”

Taehyung blinks at you, clearing his throat.

“I…” he begins, “I understand.”

“I do like you Taehyung.” You clarify before he can overthink. “I just—”

You can’t help it…the tears are uncontrollable. You are stuck in your memories. You are stuck with words of the past…that have such relevance to right now.

“I…” You hiccup, Jimin holding on to your hands. “I’m not ready for this.” You finally admit.

“Wait, wait, wait.” Jimin panics, “You’re not thinking of—”

“You’ve been a good friend, Jimin.”

“y/n, wait—”

Jimin’s wide eyes are pleading as his stares at you, his words practically falls out of his mouth as he begs you to rethink this.

But you can’t. You won’t. Your mind is made up.

~~~~~

“We should probably talk about it, right? What this all means, I mean.” His questions causes a shift in the atmosphere. The air becoming a little thicker.

You only nod and turn on your feet to head back into the bedroom. He quickly follows behind you, both of you stopping at the foot of the bed.

“Let’s talk then.” You bite your lip, swaying side to side.

He needs to be honest. He is clearly so confused about all this. Fucking puzzled. He means, what if just what if this company was real? And this company was…right? Are you really a match made in heaven? No, that can’t be. That would be fucking ridiculous. He’s being ridiculous for even considering it. But you two obviously need to talk. Have a fucking chit chat.

You plop down on the edge of the bed and he follows your lead, finding a spot right next to you. Your knee shakes up and down quickly while you play with the hem of your shirt. You’re obviously nervous as fuck, which he can’t really blame you. He watches you for a few moments before hesitantly placing a hand over your shaking knee, trying to stop the anxious movement and hoping to God he is not crossing any serious lines, he’s just really getting annoyed by your shaking knee and needs that shit to stop. You turn your head to face him and he is met with a look of frustration. He turns his head to face straight ahead and with a heavy sigh he says, “I feel that way too.” Because it’s true, you both must feel the same. It’s not like you want to be stuck here with him either. Right?

You finally let out a long breath, “How long?” you whisper. “How long will we be stuck here?” you begin to sniffle as your eyes become wet. Shit. He brings his hands to his lap and interlocks his fingers together.

“I…I don’t know.” He answers honestly. “But what are your thoughts? On what we read…” he clears his throat, clarifying as if it wasn’t already obvious.

You suck in a sharp breath, “I don’t know what to believe.” You admit. “But we are…” you gesture between you two, “This is—This is not happening.”

Taehyung rolls his eyes as if that was the most obvious statement in the world. He. Could. Not. Agree. More.

You continue, “Someone deciding for me? On this part of my life? That doesn’t sit right with me. No fucking thank you.”

“Yeah, me either.”

“I mean,” you turn to face him, “You seem decent and all, when you’re not being an ass, but this is all insane. Just insane.” You wear an annoyed expression, shaking your head in disbelief. He breathes out of his nose in attempt to laugh.

“Yeah, you’re telling me.”

“But…” you pause, choosing your next words carefully…you have to be careful with this next part. “But if it’s real? What are we—” and yup, just as expected, you are cut off with just a look. He furrows his brows together and pushes his head back in surprise.

“This can’t be forced y/n.” he states firmly. You raise your hands up in surrender.

“Oh my god, Taehyung. I know that! I fucking know, jeez. But we have to talk about all the possibilities.” You say firmly, “We’re stuck here for who knows how long and you read the same thing as me, right?” you push on, “3 months? 6 months? A fucking year?” you drag a heavy hand down your tired face. “And don’t even get me started on these damn ��Requests’ and whatever they are!” You are clearly very frustrated…Taehyung looks at you with the same pity you’re sure he feels for himself.

“Okay, okay.” For the first time Taehyung speaks to you much more softly. “Listen, they can’t keep us here forever? We are going to prove we are that 1%. We just got to stay out of one another’s way and just wait it out until they return us home.” Then his frown deepens, “But wait, what about the ‘Requests’?” he asks, concern lacing his voice.

You strum your fingers on your thigh, staring down at your lap, in deep thought.

“I know this is weird but…” Taehyung starts.

“I know, we have to talk about it.” You finally look up at him and your entire face has gone pink.

“If the ‘Requests’ are, I don’t know, “pure” enough, we could just like do them?” you look at him with doe eyes, “Or like, if the penalty isn’t that bad…. I don’t know.” You ramble on.

The thing is, neither of you know what to expect from these ‘Requests’ and their penalties. It’s one huge mystery. And neither you nor Taehyung are a fan of mysteries. Taehyung watches as you begin shaking your knee in total panic again when he clears his throat.

“Hey…I think we can worry about that when or if the time comes, okay?”

“When or if…” you repeat slowly. “Okay.”

He stands from his place at the bed and begins walking towards the bedroom door.

“As long as we stay out of each other’s way, we should be good.”

“Stay out of each other’s way…” you nibble on your lips, “Like, we don’t talk or anything?”

“Precisely. You do your thing, I’ll do mine.”

“But—”

“That’s just the way it’s got to be.”

“Fine.” You speak bitterly, “Fine by me.”

Stuck on a beautiful island in a beautiful house with a beau—with a man. What could possibly go wrong? Vacation from hell, here we go.

You sit on Taehyung’s living room sofa, the apartment eerily quiet until you chuckle bitterly at your memories. The place may be silent save the running AC but your mind is loud. The sound of the front door unlocking and opening doesn’t even make you flinch. You have been waiting in anticipation, expecting him to eventually show up.

Taehyung walks in, not saying a word. He quietly sets his keys down on the table near the front and begins dragging his feet towards his living room. He stops in front of his couch, breathes out a long, tired breath as he finally takes a spot on the couch, sitting away from you.

He sits down, sighs out and fold his hands in front of him.

You aren’t entirely sure how much time has passed, how much silence has lingered between you two. Neither of you saying anything yet saying everything. You both know. You sit here, your head bowed down as you continue to think. Your loud mind becoming even louder…like a booming sound effect echoes annoyingly, causing you to get a headache.

There are three things you know: One, You love Taehyung. Two, you aren’t ready for Taehyung. And three, he isn’t ready for you. You finally lift your head, your glossy eyes searching the room before they find him. His eyes find yours and you both share a look of despair. You both feel the pain of this.

Taehyung scoots closer to you, his hands scrambling to find yours. You accept his hands easily. He leans in closer and closer until his soft lips find yours. The kiss is slow, soft, and torturous. He pulls away from you, his fingers cupping your jaw before his arms wrap around your shoulders, pulling you in and holding you close.

“I fly out in the morning.” You tell him, your voice is soft and calm. You feel him nod in understanding, his fingers tangling in your hair as he massages your scalp.

“Will we…” he clears his throat, trying to make sure his voice doesn’t crack. “Will we still talk?” he asks as his chest tightens.

“This isn’t….the end, is it?” he gulps back the burning in his throat.

“I don’t know.” You decide to respond honestly. And you really, truly do not know. You realize this is much bigger than what the island did to you. This is much bigger then Hana’s presence in Taehyung’s life. This is much bigger than Ben. This is to the core…about you two. And how you are each the most imperfect human beings who just…can’t. Not now at least. Not when you have so much to heal from, so much to go through. There is so much growing to be done…as individuals.

“Let’s not have any expectations.” You say quietly. “That could hurt us more in the end.”

Taehyung closes his eyes as he breathes you in, like it’s for the last time. And it really might be.

“I understand.” He chokes out softly, “I understand.”

He kisses the top of your head, his lips staying on your hair for several seconds, causing you to close your eyes and release a long breath.

He holds you close this night. He inhales you over and over. He memorizes every millimeter of your face as he gazes at you. He doesn’t want to let go of your hand at the airport, he doesn’t want to say goodbye. But he knows he has to let go.

You fly back home and you aren’t sure how it happened…but…

One entire year passes you both by.

#bts #bts smut #bts fluff #bts angst #bts fanfic #kim taehyung #taehyung x reader #taehyung smut #taehyung fluff #taehyung angst #the island chapter 12

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binniesthighs · 3 years

Text

❆on a winter’s day | reader x hyunjin |❆

Pairing: self insert, female reader x hwang hyunjin

Genre: the fluffiest smut

Tags: confident!reader, shy!hyunjin, extrovert!reader, introvert!hyunjin, virgin!hyunjin, dancer!reader, dancer!hyunjin minho and jisung side characters, minsung if you turn your head upside down, slow burn, that sweet sweet build up, first time, meet cute, college au, sexual tension, mentions of food, praising, oral (m&f recieving), marking, fingering (f recieving), protected sex, aftercare, hyunjin is the softest boi in this one

Word count: 4.3k

Requested: By a lovely anon! You can read the original ask/post right before this one!

“and five, six, seven, eight!”

The cool of the hardwood flooring beneath your tired heels squeaked from the movement of twenty dancers throwing their bodies to the left. Each and every one of you were reflected in the mirror in front of you: bodies twisting like the curl of a ribbon and arms outstretched. You winced as your knee hit the ground and you hurled your body into a type of somersault. As soon as you were back on your feet, you bent your spine backwards reaching out as far behind you as you could. For a couple moments, the whole world was turned upside down.

It was then when you saw him. His silver hair was tied up, and his brow glistened with sweat. There was nothing else in his eyes other than pure focus.

It was breathtaking.

one, two, you counted in your head.

Next came the hardest part.

Everyone leapt in sync, creating a resonating thud once you all landed.

Thank God that you landed it that time. To your right, your friend Minho scoffed slightly, likely teasing you for finally jumping at the same time as everyone else.

three, four

The group crashed down to the floor again, this time you had to use all your strength to roll, then pull yourself up without help from your hands. You had been practicing it for weeks.

You could feel Minho’s eyes boring into you while you attempted.

You were able to do it, but it wasn’t nearly as fluid as him. How had you never noticed how amazingly his body flowed?

“and five, six!” Your instructor clapped. The music faded as you all sunk down to the floor again, trying to make it appear as if you were dissipating into it. “Very good job everyone!” She beamed and applauded you all who finally let your heaving breaths be heard. “Excellent improvement from you all!”

You couldn’t even stand up from the floor you were so exhausted. The aggressive florescent lights burned your eyes and you considered taking a nap right there.

“You did it!” A foot kicked you. Looming over you were your two friends Minho and Jisung shoving towels onto each other’s faces. “Were you counting like I told you to do?” Minho expectantly leaned in.

“yes,” You answered a little annoyed, not as much at him, but at yourself. You could have done even better.

“We told you that you could do it. It’s just the mental block man.” Jisung offered you a hand up.

Once you were vertical again, a little wave of dizziness hit you.

“Wanna go out to celebrate?”

Your usual friend group circled around you with their bags in hand.

“Finally got it this time, L/n?” They patted you on the back. Besides hip-hop being your specialty in a contemporary class, you still seemed to get along with everyone easily. On the first day of class when you literally announced that you didn’t want to be there, everyone warmed up to you pretty quickly. You didn’t want to lie and pretend that you were all about throwing your body around like that. Of course you thought contemporary was beautiful, just not your thing. Graduation requirements said otherwise.

“Do you need me to carry you outta here?” Jisung joked at your dazed expression. Truthfully, your head was still spinning a little.

“Only very certain people get to carry me Han Jisung, and unfortunately you are not one of them.” You quipped back, and a few of your friends snarked chuckles at him.

He put his hands up in defeat. “I was just offering.”

Across the room, your eyes found him again. He had put his bag a bit of ways away from everyone else’s. He guzzled down his water, bobbing his sharp Adam’s apple. He then tore his hair tie out and ruffled his hair around which was damp at the roots. Everything that he did was so effortless.

“Hey,” you nudged Minho, “You know who he is?”

“Him? That’s Hwang Hyunjin. I dunno much about him, he’s pretty quiet, I haven’t heard much about him within the school either. Amazing dancer though. Have you seen him?”

“Yeah...”

Hyunjin pulled a black pullover past his head.

“You coming with us?” Minho snapped you back.

“No-uh, I think that I’m gonna stay a little while.”

“Suit yourself, I know that it’s gonna be delicious.” He teased and turned to throw his arm around Jisung while the group walked out.

The silvery-haired boy zipped up his bag as if he was near leaving. Your throat became unexplainably tight. Your legs started moving towards him before you could tell them to.

“You popped up behind him. “Hyunjin, right?”

He whipped around startled, with his gorgeous brown eyes widening. “...yes?”

“I wanted to tell you that I saw you dancing today and you’re really good. It looks like its so easy for you. I wish that I could be like that.”

“Oh...thank you.” He gave you a kind smile.

shit, he was so cute.

“Soooo, what’s your secret?” You attempted to keep him there for just a moment longer.

“My secret?” His eyes became puzzled.

“Yeah, like, to how you’ve gotten so good?”

“I just...practice.”

“Huh...”

The door to the practice room clicked one last time and the two of you were alone.

“I noticed that all of your moves flow really nicely to the next, you’re not stiff at all, it’s like your body never stops evolving with the motions.”

“thank you...” Hyunjin hushed shyly and twiddled with his hair.

“Maybe you could teach me? Teach me how to make my technique better? I’m just so robotic sometimes.”

“...sure.” He hesitantly said with a growing tiny grin. “Like right now?”

“Oh! I mean it doesn’t have to be right now right now, just like when you have some time I was thinking.”

“I have a little time right now.” He began taking off his coat which he had just put on.

“Oh really?” You felt your cheeks get a little warm. You certainly weren’t expecting him to say yes so quickly.

“Do-do you have time?” He worriedly asked.

“--Yeah!”

“Okay...let’s get started then.”

✦✧✦✧

The music from Hyunjin’s phone echoed over the speakers and you attempted the twirls again. You were able to execute the timing, but each one felt more inelastic than the last. God, your whole body was aching to stop, but it couldn’t get enough of the feeling of him watching you and observing your every movement.

“What should I change about it this time?” You struggled to take in breaths.

Hyunjin looked you up and down, with that same focus from before. With someone as picturesque as him, he looked a little stern when he examined you, which scared you a little, but excited you at the same time.

“You need to take the strain out of your hips, they’re geting in the way you need to let you whole body fall into it. Focus on your legs. Like this:”

He spun in front of you with his leg pointed out. With the twist of his body his silver hair swept along with him.

“You know what I mean?” He gently asked.

“--yes, I think so.”

“Your hips are your anchor, but don’t let them stop you.” Hyunjin stepped up closer to you, hesitantly going to grab your waist with his hands. It was then when you realized how big and powerful they were. His sudden gesture made your heart beat even faster than it already was.

“Pivot like...this.” He turned you a little to the left.

“Oh.”

He lead your hips into the pivot a couple more times to show you. His hands were so warm.

He quickly removed his hands, embarrassed, like he had been doing something he should not have been. He walked away from you and you took notice of his shoulder blades curving under the thin fabric of his sleeveless shirt.

“Do you wanna stop now? I think I’ve done as much as I can for today.”

He nodded and removed his phone from the sound system.

✦✧✦✧

Outside of the arts building, snow had picked back up again after flurrying the whole night long. Everything around had been covered in a beautiful blanket of white.

“Well, I’m headed off this way.” You head nodded to your bus station a couple blocks down. “Thank you for helping me by the way.”

“For sure! I...liked helping you out.”

“Really?”

Hyunjin immediately made a startled little face upon realizing what he had said and you laughed a little at him.

He pulled his chunky scarf up higher to his chin. “Actually...I um, live down that way too.”

“Do you take the 12 bus too?”

He nodded. Little snowflakes had begun to get caught in his hair like a little halo.

“Well then let’s get going! We don’t wanna miss the last bus!”

✦✧✦✧

It was rush hour, so naturally the two of you had to stand on the bus of packed people. The air inside was chilly and it smelled of old dusty coats that had just recently been taken out for the fist snow. You thought it was a little funny how every five seconds or so someone would sniffle in there.

“I’ve seen you in class too.” Hyunjin finally said something after a while of you two being pushed pretty close next to eachother. “Dancing and other stuff, everyone really seems to like you, you’re really good at making people laugh.”

“Oh. Thanks.” You didn’t quite know how to respond to him. “I don’t really have a problem putting myself out there much, I’ve always really believed in just being me, you know? And not letting others determine who I am around them. That or maybe I just like the sound of my own voice.”

He giggled a little then pulled the string nearby the window.

stop requested. The robot bus voice said.

“You’re not stalking me or anything are you?” You rose an eyebrow at him, which scared him more that you had expected.

“No..? What do you mean?”

“This is my stop too.”

Your boots crunched into the snow of the side walk and you thanked the bus driver. Hyunjin got off after you with his hands in his pockets. The two of you stood there in the snow for a moment, something weirdly unsaid lingering between the two of you. Something felt unfinished but you couldn’t quite figure out what it was. He genuinely was so sweet, you sneakily wanted to be around him for just a little longer.

Hyunjin stammered, but confidently got out, “Do you want to get something to eat? Right now?”

It was if he had read your mind. You were glad that he had asked, and a little surprised too. He waited attentively for you to answer, still looking a little nervous; even looking like that he was terribly adorable.

“I’d love to.” You smiled back at him causing him to sigh in relief.

“Is there anywhere that you like?” He led the both of you on.

You pondered for a moment, then remembered. You cringed out the words, “Actually...I really shouldn’t be spending money right now; I need to get a lot better at saving...”

You almost slapped yourself in the face after saying such a thing and seeing how crestfallen he had become. It was true, but technically he didn’t need to know that.

“Or! I mean, we could go to my place and I could I dunno, whip something up? I should have something...”

“Are you sure? I mean, I don’t want to be eating away your food.”

“No really! It’s fine, come on, I’m just down this block.”

✦✧✦✧

It was only seconds before you opened the door to your apartment that you remembered how embarrassingly messy it was. You and your two roommates were the best of friends, but horribly matched when it came to being cleanly. The three of you just chalked it up to you all being “creative minds.” You all went to arts school after all.

“Just...don’t look--sorry, it’s really messy in there, I wasn’t really expecting to bring anyone over.”

“I don’t care.” Hyunjin politely said and watched you unlock the door.

“We just call it creative madness.”

When you walked in even you tried hard to not look at the mess and got straight to work rummaging around your cabinets.

“Does spaghetti with sauce sound good?”

He nodded and neatly arranged his coat, shoes and bag at the door.

He wandered over to the large windows of your living area. “You have a really nice view.”

“Ah thanks,” You clicked on the stove. “Makes the price of the rent worth it,” you lowered your voice “fuckin’ swindlers.”

Your eyes wandered to the island in your kitchen full of all kinds of crap: baking supplies, art supplies, old mail, textbooks, mismatched pairs of gloves.

“It would probably be best if we ate in my room,” You let up. “You can barely sit here.”

Hyunjin nodded and turned to keep watching the snow peacefully. While you cooked, he didn’t say much but you couldn’t keep his eyes off of him, nearly burning yourself on the saucepan. He changed the room by just merely exisiting in it. You truly couldn’t imagine how you had never noticed him before.

✦✧✦✧

“Thank you for cooking for me, that was really good.”

You waved his compliment off with the swipe of your hand. “It’s really nothing, you should see my roommate, she’s a culinary science major. Wait! Let me go get something real quick.”

You smiled at your little surprise and shuffled back to the kitchen, putting the two little raspberry and chocolate cupcakes on plates with equally little forks.

“Ta-da! These are to die for. I wish I could take the credit; these are just one of the benefits of having a roommate that’s constantly experimenting.”

Hyunjin took in a careful bite and his eyes widened into moons.

“I know right!? She’s a genius.”

Silence filled the air between you as you ate more. You couldn’t help but feel so completely and utterly cozy in the moment. The sun had nearly set and you had set your heater up in your room along with some Christmas music to softly play in the background. The only regret that you had was the candle you had lit which was just a little too sweet. You started to wonder after you two had finished, what would happen next? Would he leave? Greedily, a feeling seeped into you like before, you still didn’t want him to leave.

“That was amazing.” He placed his plate down.

“You know what?” Your brash confidence pushing through once more. “Your hair, the silver, it’s just so pretty. I can’t stop looking at it.”

He instantly became flustered. “Oh...thank you, I’ve been thinking about dying it like this for a really long time now and I finally did it. It sounds kinda dumb, but I didn’t wanna do anything that would draw attention to myself.”

“...can I touch it?”

Hyunjin looked a little shocked, but eagerly nodded.

You started by thumbing through some of the longer strands towards his shoulders: it was just as soft as you imagined. You then started from the top running your hand all the way down, admiring the way that it looked like it shimmered a little. You had gotten so caught up in him that you didn’t notice that he had closed his eyes.

“pretty.” You cooed.

“Y/n?” He suddenly asked.

“Hmm?”

“Is it weird to say that I feel like really comfortable around you? Is that weird?”

“No, not at all.” You continued running your hands through the silver strands, somehow you had leaned in a lot closer to him than you had been before.

He looked at you with his doe-like brown eyes. You could have sworn that they were glistening. Your eyes fell a little lower to his lips, they looked wonderfully kissable and plump. From that moment your brain furiously wondered what they tasted like. His eyes fell a little too.

He leaned in first, catching you completely off guard. He kissed you so carefully and gently, his mouth parted just slightly; it was heavenly. You could still taste the chocolate and the raspberry on his lips. He sighed a little into your mouth like he was relaxing himself. In many ways, the way in which he kissed you made you feel like he cared for nothing else in the world, just you. Your cupped his face in your hands, tracing your thumbs against his jawline.

That was it. You were absolutely crazy for him.

You broke for a moment and he turned into a huge, rosy, smiling mess. The two of you giddily giggled at how happy you were over what had just happened. You shuffled your own plate off the bed to silently invite him to lay down which he did obediently. Now he seemed less hesitant, but more excited.

You swung your legs around both sides of him and kissed him more on his smiling lips. At this point, you had convinced yourself that nothing in this world was sweet as him. His hands found their way to your back, where he ran his fingers down, making you shiver delightfully at the touch. His hands finally found your waist which he grabbed onto firmly. He pulled you down into him so your bodies were flush and you could feel all of his warmth. Once you were this close, he started kissing you back more wantonly, gasping a little in between.

“You’re so beautiful Hyunjinnie.” You snuck in between kisses. “I can’t get enough of you.”

He let an airy laugh fall into your lips then brought one of his hands to tangle in you hair. All at once, your hands yearned to explore the soft of his skin everywhere. Outside your window the snow still silently fell and the golden sunset faded into the skyline’s horizon.

You knew how excited you had become, where together your hips grinded together. Your head spun thinking about having someone as beautiful as him give your body attention.

Hyunjin broke, holding your eyes seriously. “I-I want to make you feel good. Can I do that?”

“Of course, I would love that.” You melted.

“--But...I think you’ll have to tell me how...I haven’t done this before, sorry..”

The fact that he had shared this with you made him even more adorable.

“Don’t apologize, I can show you everything.” You whispered into his ear with a prideful grin. “But first, can I first help you?”

He gulped, “Yes.”

“I want to show you that you’re worth the attention, you’re worth all of it.”

You helped him pull off his sweater, and then his sleeveless shirt revealing his toned and pale chest, just waiting for your lips. You didn’t want to move too fast however, or risk scaring him.

“Just relax okay?”

You planted kisses everywhere you could: on his collarbones, his stomach and on his ribs, right over his heart. Even from the simplest of touches from you he seemed to unravel.

“You’re breathtaking.” You said onto his skin.

You couldn’t stop yourself from sucking a little harder than you planned, drawing little purple marks against his milky-white skin. He looked like pure art.

“Can I go down a little further?”

“Mmhmm.” He got out, with eyes closed shut trying to control himself.

You slipped his joggers down, revealing his quivering member, which was enticingly long even hidden by his briefs. He had already stained them a little with pre cum.

“oh my god.” you whispered, enamored. You couldn’t wait a single second further.

He timidly watched as you completely striped him, then tore off our own shirt and pants to make it a little more even.

“Tell me stop if you want me to, okay?”

He pleaded with desperate eyes, “Don’t stop.”

First you teased him just a little by running your tongue flat up and down and around his length, wetting your tongue with one hand and slowly pumping. You moved on to then twist around the head which had grown painfully hard. His breaths wavered and he let out little moans in desperation. You took him in at last, bobbing your head steadily.

“ mmm, that feels so good.” Hyunjin moaned out breathlessly.

You kept on, but not for too much longer, you didn’t want him finishing quite yet. He looked a little dejected when you stopped, but you swooped up to kiss him more. You took up his left hand and kissed him all the way up to his wrist and into his palm. His fingertips brushed over your lips, as gentle as one would with a flower petal.

“You want to touch me now?”

“--Yes.”

You unclipped your bra for him and laid back. For this he didn’t need any instruction. He immediately took your breast in his hand, squeezing and and ghosting his fingertips over your nipples; you reveled under his touch. He lowered to suck lightly on the bud, pulling at it lightly with his lips. His teeth grazed you slightly but you didn’t care, you fucking loved it.

“That feels amazing.” You whispered as you watched him. He was sure to give both of your nipples attention.

“I want you.” You said with hot breath. “I want your tongue.”

He looked a little bewildered, but determined after what you had said. He slid down your body, giving you kisses the whole way down like you had done to him.

He nibbled a bit on your thighs. “Tell me how you like it.”

By the second his confidence grew more and more and it was addicting.

You started by rubbing yourself a little so he knew where to start. “In circles, you can go fast or slow, I like both, and you can suck on it too if you’d like.

He lowered, and you swung one of you legs over his shoulder which he palmed into. He started painfully slow, kitten licking carefully; he didn’t know it, but he was teasing the hell out of you. Nevertheless, you whole body began to shake a little with each lick.

“Flatten your tongue out...like that, you can go a little faster, yes...just like that.”

He had closed his eyes and settled into a rhythm, and you dug your heels into the bed. It was astonishing how quickly he got the hang of it. You whimpered out while he continued.

“fuck, Hyunjin--”

He sped up a little, your first orgasm was close by.

“Your fingers, like this.” You held up your pointer and middle together to show him. “Fuck me like that.

He did as he was told, sliding them in with ease over how wet you had become. His fingers were long and slender; addictive. He pumped in and out while your pussy made ungodly sounds. You felt so close you were lightheaded.

“Curl your fingers up, like this.” You showed him again. He continued going fast, taking a hint from your quickened breaths.

You came with white heat, clawing at the comforter on the bed. You only gave yourself a few more moments before pulling him up towards you. “I want you inside me.”

You scrambled with the drawer of your nightstand to rip a condom off from the strand that you kept, tearing it open for him. He was a little flustered, but put it on quickly; he was dripping even more for you. Your lips connected as you laid down, and he aligned himself on top of you. It was then when you saw how pink his chest had flushed. You opened your folds for him, and he started to guide himself in. He filled you up perfectly, and he groaned out once the two of you were connected.

“it’s so tight.” He shivered.

Your fingers latched on to the skin of his hips as you guided him lightly up and down. He buried his face into your shoulder as little euphoric moans slipped past his lips. After a moment, he was able to find his pace, grazing you deep inside. You let him take control as he thrust into you, leaving your arms to wrap around his broad back. You pulled his face over to kiss him, the both of you loosing yourself in the other.

“You make me feel, so, so good, baby,” You hushed into his ear.

He panted, “I-I’m gonna cum soon.”

It took all your strength to flip him off of you, and to land in his lap. He groaned with his hands getting lost journeying all around your body--anywhere he could touch. You took over, riding him and rolling your hips fast with both of your palms flat on his chest riddled with hickies. Like this, you thought that he looked practically angelic. Both of you chased your orgasms together, erupting at nearly the same time, and you ravished in him throbbing inside.

You laughed a little together in sheer bliss and he flinched a little when you slid off of him.

“Did that all feel good for you? Are you okay?” You pecked his nose.

“Yes. It felt like nothing else.”

You stood up, adjusting your frazzled hair and putting on a fresh set of comfy clothes. “Stay right there okay?”

You went to grab him a towel and clean himself off with, handing him his clothes one by one as he dressed. You brought the plates back to the kitchen coming back with a large glass of ice cool water, then offered it to him. He guzzled it letting a little drop fall down his neck.

“Can I get you anything else?”

“No, I’m okay.”

“Do you wanna...stay a little longer?”

“Right now?”

“Right now.”

You blew the candle out and dimmed the lights, adjusting a blanket for the two of you to crawl under. Hyunijn followed you under, sweeping you deep into his arms.

Just a little bit longer. You thought to yourself. Stay with me.

698 notes · View notes

angellesword · 3 years

Text

YOUR EYES TELL | JJK (13)

Summary: You live in a world where people see in black and white. The solution to finally see the colors? It’s simple. You need to meet your soulmate and look at him in the eyes, but what if the person bound to you is already contented with the monochromatic world? What if…Jeongguk, your soulmate, is already in love with someone else?

Alternatively:

“A future without you is a world without color.”

Genre: soulmate au, e2l, slow burn, angst, fluff, roommate au

Pairing: Artist!Jungkook x Lawyer!Reader

Word Count: 3.8k

Warnings: discussion of injuries which i know nothing about, effects of drunk driving.

SERIES: CHAPTER 12 | CHAPTER 14

Jeon Jeongguk missed you.

He missed you so much he felt like he was going crazy.

He didn't realize that a big part of you was occupying his whole being to the point that when the two of you separated ways, he felt like everything he had meant nothing if you weren't in his life.

He had been dreaming of buying his own apartment ever since he was young, but now that he finally had a house that he could call his own, Jeongguk came to know that this wasn't what he wanted.

What he desired was not a house—he wanted a home and home was wherever you were.

The walls surrounding him weren't going to protect him. It actually hurt him. The deafening silence kept on bouncing that he felt like he was gonna lose his sense of hearing.

Jeongguk decided he hated silence.

He wanted his house to be filled with your laughter.

"Seriously, Guk. Why am I here?"

Jeongguk couldn't speak as Red continued to glare at him.

Ji-eun and her father couldn't visit today because Namjoon had work to do. This left Jeongguk with no choice but to invite his ex-girlfriend in his abode. He hated being alone since it reminded him of how fucked up he was.

He needed a distraction.

"So now you're giving me the silent treatment?" Red rolled her eyes. This was one of her ex lover's habits that she hated. Jeongguk was so bad when it came to communicating.

"You need to tell me the truth if this is about her." Red sighed and Jeongguk froze. The former hadn't mentioned your name, yet Jeongguk was already affected. He knew Red was referring to you.

"I like her a lot and as much as I enjoy doing you a favor, I can't do this forever."

"Msorry..." Jeongguk avoided Red's eyes as he bit his lower lip. His heart hurt a lot.

"No." She shook her head as if her ex's apology was pure bullshit. This was truly unacceptable. "This isn't just about you, Jeongguk. Did you know that the whole office is either questioning my sexuality or thinking I'm a kiss-ass?"

"What?" The confused boy flicked his gaze at Red.

She snorted and then rolled her eyes once more.

"People think I'm in love with your soulmate because I basically cook her three meals a day. I also remind her to drink water, take her vitamins, leave her sweet notes, and change the flowers in her vase just because you are too much of a pussy to do it on your own!"

Jeongguk averted Red's glare again. She was right. He was a fucking coward—too scared to do all these good things on his own.

He was the one who left you, but he felt like you didn't want to do anything with him anymore. Jeongguk had accepted his sad fate, but it didn't mean he would stop taking care of you.

The truth was he was the one who cooked the food you eat every day. He was the one writing you sweet notes, he was the one bombarding Red text messages to kindly remind you to do the simple things you usually forgot because of your busy schedule.

Jeongguk was doing all of this without your knowledge.

How could he tell you when he knew he was unnecessarily mean to you?

"I mean it's about right. I told you I'm gonna stay here for a few months. It's over now. I don't want to be your tenant anymore."

What he said to you six months ago was deeply engraved in his head. This lie was what kept him awake at night.

Jeongguk was lying. Yes. It was true that he didn't want to be your tenant, but it didn't mean that he didn't want to live with you anymore.

But he was so confused—so fucked up in the head that the only solution was to push you away.

He stood by his belief. You did not understand anything and you did not love him.

But Jeongguk was sure of one thing—or at least he thought so.

"I-I," his adam's apple bobbed up and down. He was nervous. "I think I like her..."

The girl's scoff indicated that she didn't like what he just said.

"You think?" She crossed her arms, making Jeongguk flinch. Her reaction reminded him of the time he met Red at Seokjin's birthday party.

"Why did you follow me, Jeongguk?" Red looked like she had seen a ghost, but she still folded her arms over her chest to intimidate Jeongguk.

It was easy to frighten him. All she had to do was to raise her brow and cross her arms.

"Wow," your soulmate gritted his teeth. "You haven't seen me in so long and this is how you greet me?"

Jeongguk wasn't expecting to see Red at this party. He was here because he wanted to be your date. The thought of you bringing Hoseok to this party made him so angry.

"How do you expect me to react, Guk? I don't want you here!" She was panicking. Jeongguk called her a bitch the last time they had seen each other.

Right now, Red couldn't help but think that Jeongguk would cause ruckus again.

This couldn't happen. Not right now. Not when people were watching Seokjin, and definitely not when you were here.

Red went to the veranda to get some air. She couldn't face you, couldn't face Jeongguk, and couldn’t face Seokjin. The latter had no idea that Jeongguk was the ex she was talking about. They hadn't had the chance to talk about your soulmate because Seokjin was too caught up with the divorce trial.

"So that's it, huh?" Jeongguk clenched his fist. "You'll just decide you don't want me anymore just because you found your soulmate!?"

"Yes!" Red did not even hesitate. Tears were streaming down her cheeks. She was so scared. All she could think about was the fact that Jeongguk could destroy this evening.

"I found my soulmate and I'm okay now. You should be happy too, JK. You have met the person destined for you."

Jeongguk looked away. How could he be happy? He found you, but he liked Red.

Red knew what was running inside his mind, so she shook her head and looked at Jeongguk straight in the eyes.

"Do not hurt her, Jeon. She's a one of a kind girl. You can't find another person as sweet and smart as her."

'But you're sweet and smart too!' Jeongguk wanted to argue.

"She saved my life. I owe her everything I have. I wouldn't even be able to meet my soulmate if it wasn't for her." She sobbed.

"So don't. Please. Don't hurt her."

Jeongguk blinked back to reality upon realizing that he broke Red's request.

He hurt you. Bad.

"You have to be one hundred percent sure about what you feel for her, Jeongguk. She deserves better than this."

He remained quiet, still pondering on what he felt.

Six months passed, but he felt like it wasn't enough to ease his doubts.

"No." He blurted out. "I-I like her,"

Red's expression softened, but she wasn't convinced yet. Jeongguk was stammering as if he wasn't certain.

"Are you really sure? I know I'm always pressuring you, but I want you to be real." She said carefully.

Jeongguk's heart was hammering. It felt like it wanted to be free from the cold cage he built.

"I don't know!" He looked like he was in a lot of pain. Tears were actually threatening to fall down his cheeks.

Jeongguk hated feelings. Why were they so complicated?

"Okay, Gukkie. Calm down."

Gukkie. You called him this. Jeongguk had another realization. That nickname was only cute when it came out of your pretty mouth.

He wanted to kiss you.

"I think you're just guilty and confused right now," Red started.

He could only listen.

"Guilty because you are being held back by the amount of time we spent together. You drilled it in your head that I am the one for you. You ignored the fact that soulmates exist and now that you're experiencing how the soulmate bond works, you became confused."

Red could feel that Jeongguk was skeptical of his own feelings. He was probably thinking that it was impossible for him to fall in love with you with just a few months.

But you see, that was how the soulmate bond worked. It made the impossible possible.

"I know it's hard to suddenly believe into something especially when all your life, you ignored and denied the existence of it."

Jeongguk only pursed his lips into a thin line.

Red continued.

"You feel guilty for trying to unlearn what you believe is a myth, but it's okay, Jeongguk. It's okay to let me go. You aren't cheating. Your feelings simply changed. Don't let our memories together ruin what your heart truly wants."

Confusion was eating him alive again.

"H-How do you know all of this?" He asked softly, making Red chuckle.

"Why do you think it took me so long to tell you that I found my soulmate, huh?"

Jeongguk shook his head. He honestly had no idea.

"It’s because I also went through this, Guk. It took me months to finally admit the truth to you since I was so guilty. We have been together for almost a decade and I feel like it would be such a waste to just let you go, but the heart wants what it wants. It's so much easier to just let things go."

Jeongguk grimaced. He regretted being an ass to Red when they broke up. If he only knew that it was this hard to be in denial...

"But don't get me wrong, okay? Letting go doesn't mean that you have to completely erase your memories with people. I still treasure the moments we spent together and I love you, Jeongguk—not in a romantic way, but I will always love you."

He was his first love, his first friend. Jeongguk had always been there for her. She knew he truly loved her.

As Red talked about their memories together, Jeongguk then started to reminisce the moments he had with you.

It was weird.

Weird that your memories together were not even half as many as the moments he spent with Red, yet all that's on his mind was you.

This was what terrified Jeongguk. You barely spent time together, but what he felt for you was strong—too strong that it defeated his ten years with Red.

"I don't know what to do," Jeongguk choked out a sob. It's annoying because Red was laughing.

"You poor bunny. I wish I could tell you how I did it, but you have to figure this on your own." This was the last thing she said before leaving Jeongguk alone.

Alone with his treacherous thoughts.

He kept playing the conversation he had with Red, making him realize that his own thoughts was the one making this hard for him.

Red was wrong.

Jeongguk wasn't confused.

He knew exactly what he felt for you.

He was just too much of a coward to admit it.

He never learned.

The six months he spent away from you should have served as a lesson by now, but no. Here he was, still ignoring the ache in his chest.

Jeongguk regretted leaving you months ago. He had to admit that it wasn't instant though.

That's the thing about regret. It came into a beautiful form—a disguise telling him that this was what he wanted even though he knew deep down that it was not.

He hated himself because of this. There were many warning signs from other people. He had heard so many times that regret was a two-faced bitch. It felt good at first, making him feel like he was floating because he was finally free.

But then it would come back to haunt him—to drown him with what ifs and I should have—to suffocate him until he couldn't breathe anymore.

Jeongguk hated himself because of this. Why couldn't he be like others? He envied those people who could express their feelings in the right way. Those people who knew how to dodge regret.

He wasn't like them. He got overwhelmed too quickly—causing him to panic and do stupid things.

But really. What was his way of expressing himself? How could he ease the doubts in his head?

What kind of outlet would serve as his way to be able to express the heaviness in his chest?

Jeongguk could only think about one thing.

He went to his art room. There was too much space in this house, but his loneliness still couldn't fit.

Everything in this room was sad. The easel looked sad, the palette looked sad, his blank canvas looked sad.

It was sad that he couldn't find the will to paint anymore.

What was the use of seeing colors when he couldn't do what he loved? What was the used of seeing colors when he couldn't see the color in your eyes?

Jeongguk's lips trembled as he gripped the brush in his hand.

He really couldn't do it.

Maybe he should look at his previous works to get inspiration?

Yeah. That's probably the best thing to do...

Jeongguk brought out the box full of the things you had bought for him.

It had been half a year since he touched these materials. He couldn't bring himself to even look at this before. It reminded him so much of you.

Jeongguk let out a shaky breath.

The box was overloading with art. The months he spent with you caused him to produce these lovely sketches.

He smiled while looking at the pile of sticky notes on the floor. These were the ones he drew when he was overwhelmed with colors.

Sketching was much simpler. It calmed his raging emotions.

Jeongguk started to absentmindedly piece together the pictures in the sticky notes drawn by him.

"Holy shit," his eyes suddenly dilated upon realizing that these tiny sketches made up a larger picture of your eyes when they were put together—similar to a puzzle.

Jeongguk's blood was rushing. It was as if he was slapped by reality.

The larger picture was your eyes, the small ones that were drawn in each sticky notes were every tiny detail about you: your mouth, your neck, your fingers, and everything in between.

This was it.

This was his way of expressing feelings.

His lips lie, but his artworks tell.

Jeongguk understood now what Red was implying. She was right. No one could help him, not even the love you claimed you felt for him.

This was all on Jeongguk. He realized that he had to admit it himself that he loved you, that he wanted to be with you, and that he believed in soulmates because he wanted to and not because other people force him to do so.

Realization was the complete opposite of regret. The latter was slow, the former was instant. It would hit you when you least expected it.

Jeongguk was certain.

His doubts were cleared because he knew you could see colors now.

You should be able to see with flashing colors and light, so why weren't you?

"J-Jimin?" You whispered, uncertain, unstable, and unhappy.

You were surrounded by negative prefix that was making him feel sick.

When Jeongguk found out that he loved you, he imagined begging for forgiveness at your feet— telling you how much of an idiot he was and that he was willing to take whatever you could give—no, scratch that. You didn't have to give anything at all.

It was his time to show you how much you meant to him.

This was why Jeongguk texted you, asking you to meet him. When you didn't answer, he was forced to call you.

Unfamiliar voice welcomed him to bring the terrible news.

The person on the other line told him that you were in a hospital. Your car crashed because you were driving under the influence of alcohol.

Jeongguk didn't know what to do after knowing this information. He was out of his mind. It was a miracle that he was able to reach the hospital in one piece.

He remembered running like crazy, he was crossing the street even though cars were approaching. He ignored the profanities leaving their mouths.

He just didn't care about anything. He just needed to get to you.

He couldn't get to you—at least not now. The doctors were still treating you. Luckily they told Jeongguk everything. He didn't even need to show his I.D to prove that the two of were related. He only needed to tell them that he was your soulmate.

It's funny how he refused to believe in the idea of soulmate before, but right now, he was using it to beg other people to believe that you were destined to be together.

Jeongguk waited in vain, staring into the space and praying to God he didn't believe in.

Desperation always led people into doing things they never thought they'd ever do.

"You're Jimin, right?" You continued to ask, still unsure.

Jeongguk didn't know how to answer. You were acting strange. Couldn't you tell that it was him who was in front of you now? Was this one of effects of the accident?

"I'm sorry I keep asking," you bit the inside of your cheeks as tears filled your eyes.

Jeongguk was quick to wipe your tears away. His touch was gentle, but you still winced.

Everything about you hurt.

"I can't see you. I-I can't see anything. It's all black..."

Jeongguk's heart sank, his blood running cold.

What did you just say?

"I'm so scared, Jimin-ah. This is different from the colorless world." Your tears were flowing non-stop, similar to the painful sound that kept on hammering your soulmate's chest.

"I feel like I'm going crazy. There's nothing here, it's just darkness sucking me in."

You were quivering in agitation. You felt helpless. It was as though everyone was fully geared up and you're here, naked—just waiting to be taken advantage of.

Being blind made you more vulnerable. You just wished this wasn't forever. The doctors said that there were two probable reasons why you couldn't see.

The first one was because of the accident. They already treated your injuries, but they said you still needed an eye surgery. Apparently, you hit your head when your car crashed. They said you didn't need to worry since this was the most common type of treatment for people experiencing temporary blindness.

Temporary.

You hoped this was temporary. Your heart couldn't take it if the reason why you were blind was because of your tragic fate.

The doctors told you that your blindness might be because of the existence of soulmate. It had come to your learning that the medical world was now considering this myth as a reality.

If this was the case, you were really damned.

"I'm sorry..." Jeongguk blurted out. He couldn't stop crying after knowing what happened to you.

This was not how it was supposed to go. Why was the universe being so cruel to him? Was he wrong? Was breaking from the phase of denial not enough? Was he really your soulmate? But why...why did you turn blind after he finally accepted the love he felt for you? Was it not enough?

Was Jeongguk not enough? Did he hurt you to the point that nothing, not even his love, could bring you back to light?

"I'm sorry, baby. I'm so sorry!" Jeongguk wailed, he was aching to touch you, but he was scared to cause you pain.

He caused you pain.

He would always cause you pain.

This was evident when you felt a sharp pang in your chest upon recognizing his voice.

He wasn't Jimin.

You did not pour your heart to Park Jimin.

You told everything to the wrong person.

You made yourself vulnerable in front of Jeon Jeongguk. Again.

"J-Jeongguk?" Your voice was loaded with disappointment and sadness.

He sobbed even harder.

"I-It's me," his voice cracked. "I'm here."

It's me. I'm here. If you were the person you were before, you would probably be rejoicing now.

Jeon Jeongguk was here. You didn't know if he was here because of you or not. In the end, it didn't matter since: "I'm glad," you said." I'm glad you're here."

You did not sound like you were glad. Not at all. Jeongguk couldn't be mistaken. Your voice was too monotonous to be considered happy. Your expression was impassive it made you look like you had no life.

But you were glad. You're sure of this because at least you didn't have to beg Jimin or any other people to ask Jeongguk to come see you.

He was here so you could already tell him what you had been meaning to.

"I'm sorry, Jeongguk," this was what you meant.

He did not understand.

Why were you saying sorry when he should be the one begging you to take him back?

"I'm sorry I made you feel uncomfortable so many times. I didn't mean to—"

"Don't say that," he cut you off, but you continued.

This time you were smiling.

"Allow me to," you gulped. "Allow me to so that I could understand why."

What were you saying now?

"I have to apologize and you have to tell me what I did wrong, Jeongguk. You have to tell me what I did to make you hate me this much."

You were crying. The pain was unbearable. It was making you think of the worst case scenario. It was making you imagine things that weren't true. It was making you feel like his hatred towards you was the reason why you couldn't see.

You were blaming him.

You had the right to.

He hurt you so much.

"What did I do to deserve this?" You had been a good person. You weren't hurting anyone consciously. You had been giving everything you had, so why? Why was your soul still bleeding?

"I let you go, Jeongguk. I am letting you go. Can't you do the same? Can't you really let go of the hatred in your heart and just let me live?"

Jeongguk couldn't speak. You were feeding your head with lies.

Jeon Jeongguk did not hate you because Jeon Jeongguk loved you.

He loved you with all of his heart.

"Let me go, Jeongguk."

With his body.

"I don't want to be your soulmate anymore."

And soul.

You did not want to love Jeon Jeongguk.

You loved him. Once. But not this time.

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whump-tr0pes · 3 years

Text

Honor Bound 6 - 9

This is a series. Start here. Continued from here.

This is a sequel to Honor Bound, Honor Bound 2, Honor Bound 3, Honor Bound 4, Honor Bound 5, and the prequel Vera.

AO3

Content warning: post-rescue, referenced starvation, scars, referenced attempted murder, noncon body mod, referenced nonsexual noncon nudity, PTSD, referenced noncon (that didn’t happen), self-blame, flashbacks, hallucinations, unsure of reality

For those of you who pointed out I forgot about Zelda in the last chapter with Vera... thank you!!

There was a sense of warmth to the light in the bathroom. Gavin could almost feel it on his skin like the brush of a breath, like the sun on his face. It was nothing like the cold light in the basement. Nothing. Even as his head felt both too heavy and too light at the same time, even as his stomach adjusted to the feeling of being full, he felt the light pressing into his eyes and felt real.

He felt safe.

He could still taste what he’d eaten for dinner, savory and sweet and sour, peanut sauce and chicken and noodles swirling together in what may have been the best thing he’d ever tasted. He’d only been able to finish half before he’d sat back, feeling almost too full to move. But Gray said that might happen. Gray said it might take some time for his stomach to get used to eating enough.

He met his own eyes in the mirror. There were dark circles marking the skin beneath them, and the shadow of a bruise on his left cheek where Schiester had struck him as he dragged him to the gallows. His lip was split at the corner of his mouth. He pressed his tongue to the spot and winced at the burst of pain and the coppery taste. The scars on his face were carved deep, now, puckering the skin around them on the bridge of his nose, across his left cheek, and from the corner of his left eye to the hairline at his temple. The lines were reddish, almost purple, like they had been when they were fresh. It had taken three surgeries with the best surgeons in his parents’ region to make the skin lay flat, before. His face would look like this forever now. He was marked like this forever.

His gaze dropped to his neck, to the ring of worn, weeping skin where the collar had rested. There were spots where the skin had been rubbed raw from the constant pressure, from Schiester dragging him into place and holding him down while he hurt him. Gavin bit down hard on his lip as he tried to look away from the marks there. As he did, his fingers brushed the scars on his right forearm.

Stormbeck.

He shivered.

“You ready?” Vera croaked behind him. He jumped.

“Y-yeah,” he murmured, turning to look at her. She was staring off to the side, her eyes unfocused – as if she couldn’t make herself look right at him. His throat tightened, and he raised one hand to run through his hair. It still smelled like the family’s shampoo. He let the scent wash over him, calming the rapid thrum of his heart. “Yeah, Vera.”

“Good,” she rasped. She stepped forward and plugged the sink, then grabbed the electric trimmer from the counter. “Um. Are you good to, um…” She blinked, and her throat bobbed. “You good if…”

“I can bend over the sink,” Gavin said softly. “That’s… th-that’s fine.”

Vera raised her eyes to his for the first time since…

She’s not a monster. She’s not going to hurt me.

“O-okay,” she whispered, nodding jerkily. “Good.”

“Vera,” Gavin murmured, and reached out to take her wrist. Her gaze flicked down to the scars on his forearm. She shivered and looked away. “I’m not… Whatever it is you’re thinking right now, I… I didn’t have to… He never…” Gavin blew out a shaking breath.

Schiester never bent me over anything. Even though I—

Gavin winced at the thought that followed: even though I deserved it.

But he did. Every moment of what happened was recompense, come too late to save any of the twenty-three lives he’d ended before he ever met Isaac.

Vera chewed the inside of her cheek and nodded again. “M’kay,” she murmured, her gaze faraway. “Good.”

She reached for a spacer and slid it onto the blade. Her hands were shaking. Gavin closed his eyes and leaned over the sink, bracing his elbows on the counter. He shivered at the cold ceramic against his forearms. Bent over like this, the collar of his shirt brushed against his face, and he caught Isaac’s scent with his next breath. The trimmer switched on.

“You still sure you’re okay with this?” Vera said, her voice oddly distant. “I mean…”

“Yeah,” Gavin murmured against the counter. “I don’t… I don’t want to look like… him.”

There was a long silence. The only sound in the bathroom was the sound of the trimmer, and the sound of Gavin’s breaths against the counter. Then, a cool hand settled on the back of his neck, and the spacer touched down a moment later.

Gavin jerked. There was an electric razor against the back of his head, his hands were tied behind him, he was naked and on his knees on the linoleum washroom in Schiester’s basement. One of Schiester’s men was holding the razor to his head – “he used to cut hair, in his previous life,” Schiester would say, “back before your family destroyed everything good about the world” – and every now and then Alvarado would look at the picture Schiester was holding up for reference, a picture that Schiester would force Gavin to look at while whispering in his ear, “that’s your father, that’s the man who destroyed my life, that’s the man you are, and you’re going to die when I’m finished with you, you’re going to die, you’re going to die, Stormbeck—”

“Gavin?”

Vera’s voice.

Gavin sobbed weakly, trembling, his knees pressing against the tiles of the bathroom. His wrists burned like they were tied. He shuddered and wrapped his arms around himself, blinking tears out of his eyes. Vera’s gentle hands settled on either side of his face and eased his head up so she could look at him.

“Gavin,” she said again. “Gavin Uriah. You’re okay.”

Gavin’s heart pounded against his ribs and his lungs burned with every inhale. He reached out and grabbed at her wrists. She released him but his grip tightened, and she hesitantly cupped his face again. Gavin’s gaze darted around the small bathroom as he gasped.

“V-Vera…”

“Do you need me to get Isaac?” she said evenly.

Yes.

No.

Gavin wet his lips and forced himself to take a breath. “N-no,” he wheezed. “I don’t…” He swallowed hard. His neck felt so strange without the collar. “I d-don’t want him… seeing this. Please, Vera, don’t… I c-can’t hurt him, he… he hurts when, um, wh-when I hurt.”

Vera sat back on her heels and brushed Gavin’s tears away with her thumbs. “Yeah,” she croaked. “He does.”

“I…” Gavin dragged in another slow breath. The room wobbled around him and his eyes darted around the bathroom. No hose in the corner. No cold white light above him. No rope on his wrists, no knife at his throat, no men holding him down, no collar on his neck, no icy blue gaze on him.

Safe, like Isaac said. Safe.

Gavin cleared his throat. “Um…” He gripped the counter and dragged himself to his feet. His legs were shaking so hard he could barely stand. Vera staggered to her feet beside him. “M-makes me think of, um… of… him… cutting my hair, and…”

“Shit,” Vera breathed. “I mean, I can… I can try and do it with scissors, I’m shit at it, I mean… you’ve seen Sam’s hair when we’re on the run…” She huffed out a laugh. It sounded forced.

Gavin shook his head. “N-no,” he murmured. “I… I mean, that’s going to… feel similar, too. And I can’t…” He shook his head. “I can’t just… n-not have a haircut ever again, I…” He raised his gaze and met Vera’s eyes. “Please,” he whispered. She blurred with his tears. “Please. I don’t want to l-look like him.”

Vera’s mouth twisted. “Yeah,” she said heavily. “I don’t particularly want you to look like him, either.”

It felt so unreal, the half-hearted laugh that bubbled in Gavin’s chest. Everything felt real, and unreal, a dream and a memory and a thing that was actually happening, all at once. Shaking, he pushed out a breath and bent over the sink once again.

“Just talk to me,” he murmured. “Just… just t-talk to me. I want to hear you.”

“Yeah,” Vera said gently. “Can do, Uriah.”

Heat bloomed in Gavin’s chest at the name. The trimmer switched on again. He drew in a deep breath through his nose.

“I’m gonna talk about my puppy, because I’m fucking obsessed with her,” Vera said. Gavin could hear the smile in her voice. This time, when the spacer touched the back of his head, he latched onto her voice, let it pull him out of the memories that threatened to suck him in. He kept his eyes open, staring into the sink. The white porcelain reflected the warm light above him. His fingers gripped the counter like he would go tumbling off a cliff if he let go.

“So her name is Zelda,” Vera said, her voice sounding a little stronger. She drew the trimmer up the back of Gavin’s head. He shivered with the sound, the sensation. He clenched his jaw and forced himself to hold still.

“Y-yeah?” he croaked. His fingers ached from clutching the counter.

“Yeah,” she said. “She’s a German shepherd. I got her from someone east of the farmhouse in this place called Eden. This lady breeds shepherds as like… her job.” Another pass of the trimmer across the back of his head. “She breeds them specifically to avoid their hip problems, and for temperament. I told her I wanted a chill dog, but I’ll probably still train her to guard the place.”

“That sounds nice,” Gavin said. His throat still felt raw from screaming, even after—

He wasn’t entirely sure how long it had been since he’d been dragged from the basement.

If I’m not still there—

NO.

“Yeah,” Vera said with a chuckle. “She’s at home right now. I figured dinner might be a little much for you, and I didn’t want to add to that with a crazy puppy.”

“Dinner was good,” Gavin said weakly. “It was… it was good to see everyone.”

“Everyone was glad to see you, too,” Vera murmured. “I mean…”

“Edrissa doesn’t have to be happy to see me,” Gavin said. The trimmer paused in its path across the top of his head. Locks of his dark brown hair lay in the sink. “She doesn’t.”

Vera drew in a deep breath and let it out. The trimmer moved slowly across his hairline. He lifted his head to give Vera easier access. As he did, he felt the cold press of her teeth against his neck, the white-hot agony as she tore through his throat, the pulse of blood on his skin as he fed on his flesh. He shuddered and whined softly.

“I’m… I’m sorry she couldn’t make it tonight,” Vera said. “She—”

“It’s… not that,” Gavin gasped. He squeezed his eyes shut and shook his head. “Ahh…” Sharp teeth flashed at him in the dark and his eyes flew open.

“Hey,” Vera said, placing a hand on his shoulder and gently pushing him up. “We can—”

“I just want to finish this,” Gavin rasped. He stayed bent over the sink. His breath riffled the short, single bits of hair on the porcelain. “Please, Vera.”

Please.

Everything he was feeling, felt like memories. They didn’t feel like hallucinations. There were no cold blue eyes watching him.

This was real. It had to be real, or else…

There was a long pause. Then, the gentle touch of the trimmer against his temple again. “Alright,” Vera murmured. “I’m almost done anyway.” She drew the trimmer across his forehead, down the other temple, around his ear. Back and forth across his head, sending showers of tiny bits of hair into the sink. Gavin scratched at an itch behind his ear. Vera did one more pass with the trimmer and then shut it off. Gavin looked into the sink, breathing slowly.

“Gavin?” Vera murmured. “You… you still with me?”

“Yeah,” Gavin murmured. “I’m… I’m here.” He half-stood, until Vera placed a hand on his shoulder again.

“Hang on,” she murmured. She gathered the clumps of Gavin’s hair from the sink and pitched them in the trash can. “Just a second. You don’t want bits of hair all over you, believe me.”

“I know,” Gavin mumbled. He remembered all too well the incessant itching after the first haircut, how Schiester had laughed – and how Schiester had decided that from now on he’d have Gavin’s hair cut in the room where he was washed, naked and freezing and ready for the hose when he was done. Gavin shivered as Vera turned on the tap and guided him closer to the sink until his head was level with the stream of water.

“Just real quick,” Vera murmured. “Just to get all the hair off.” She poured a handful of water over the back of Gavin’s head and gently scrubbed. “Yeah, there was still quite a bit left.”

Gavin forced himself to stop gripping the counter. He reached up, too, and scrubbed his head under the tap. He flinched when a stream of water rolled from his forehead and down his nose.

“I think that’s probably good,” Vera said, and shut the tap off. She gently eased him up. “Here…” As he stood upright, she wrapped his head in a towel and scrubbed at his short, wet hair. She pulled the towel away and dropped it to the floor.

Gavin felt a wrenching sensation in his chest as he looked at himself in the mirror. He looked so… young. He looked years younger than when he’d been taken, even with the bags under his eyes, with the sallow tone of his skin. He reached up and ran his fingers through the short, soft hair. His gaze wandered over himself and he took a deep breath.

“I… d-don’t look like him anymore,” he murmured. His eyes smarted.

“Nope,” Vera said, popping, the p. She shivered and rubbed his shoulder. “No. You don’t.” Her lips quirked a bitter smile. “Now I can look at you. Thank god for that.”

Gavin nodded absentmindedly as he ran his hand through his hair, short enough to almost be fuzz. The scar on his forearm caught his eye and he dropped his arm. He shifted his eyes down and swallowed hard.

“Ready to go join the others?” Vera said gently. “I know they’ll want to see the new haircut, too.” This time, when she smiled, it was easier, brighter. Her shoulders weren’t so tense and pulled up to her ears. Her hands weren’t shaking as much.

Gavin chewed his lip and sank down, sitting on the edge of the bathtub. “Not, um…” He cleared his throat. His skin ached for Isaac’s touch, and the thought of seeing Gray and Sam made his eyes brim with tears, but… he just needed a moment.

He needed to look at himself and see someone who wasn’t his father. He raised his gaze to the mirror again. He could only see his face; the rest of his body was cut off by the bottom of the mirror. His throat tightened.

“Okay,” Vera murmured. “Well… okay.” She turned towards the doorway, then paused, turning back. “You… you want the door open, or closed?”

“Open is fine,” Gavin murmured, his hand drifting up to feel the divots of the scars on his face. The scars Schiester had torn open again – after Isaac put them there, more than a year ago now.

Vera nodded once. “Okay. Come join us when you’re ready. We’re all…” Her eyes swam with tears. She pressed her hand to her chest as she swallowed hard once, twice. “We’re all really happy to see you.” Her voice was ragged.

Gavin wrapped his arms around his chest and nodded. “Th-thanks, Vera.”

Vera chewed her lip, then turned to go. She went around the corner to the living room at the front of the house, where Gavin could hear quiet conversation, the occasional burst of tight, tense laughter.

Gavin slumped forward and pressed his face into his hands. His eyes burned with tears that would not fall. He scratched at the needle marks on the inside of his elbow, his other hand pressing into his eyes, smearing his tears across his face. It felt real.

It all felt real.

Gavin drew in a deep breath and raised his head. Standing in the doorway to the bathroom was a figure – something that looked just like Edrissa.

Slowly, he sat up straight, understanding crashing bright and powerful through his blood. Her clear, ice-blue eyes bored into him, her mouth twisted in hate. Her pale blond hair was pulled back away from her ghostly-white face. His gaze flicked to the knife held tight in her hand.

He couldn’t catch the sob before it made its way out of his chest. The tears finally fell, streaming down his cheeks like blood.

I knew it. I knew it.

Gavin reached up to pull at his hair, clenching his teeth so hard his jaw hurt. The short strands slipped through his fingers. Dread slid into his heart, dull and slippery. Right on its heels was despair. He leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees, never taking his eyes off the specter in the doorway that peered at him with cold blue eyes.

“H-hey, Schiester,” he croaked. “You… you really had me going on this one.” This time, he couldn’t muffle his sob as the specter stepped fully into the bathroom and closed the door behind it.

Continued here

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#honor bound 6 #whump #recovery #starvation #scars tw #noncon body mod tw #past torture #noncon nudity tw #PTSD tw #noncon mention tw #self-blame tw #flashbacks tw #hallucinations #Gavin Uriah lives #Zelda the puppy #unreality tw #Edrissa: Problematic Sadist Extraordinaire

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