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pandoraslxna · 8 months

Note

ohh my!! \(°o°:)/ I loved "sharing is caring"! , I was wondering if u could do more spider smut, please!!(no rush tho! <3)

The Na‘vi way

adult Spider x female recom reader

Words: 2.7k

Summary: To walk, eat, talk and even think like a Na‘vi, that was one thing. But to dress like one? That was a whole new level of commitment just to get this job done.

Warnings: explicit smut, just a small size difference, oral (f receiving), masturbating, fingering, praise kink, teasing, sexual tension, semi-public, hair pulling, tail pulling, Spider is a smug little bastard

Notes: I just realized that I completely forgot about Spiders mask so let’s just pretend he can breathe just fine without it… 🤦🏻‍♀️ Anyways, as you can see I‘m still not that confident in my ability to write for Spider and it somehow feels like he’s not as characteristically accurate as Id like him to be, but I still hope you guys will enjoy this! Let me know what you think pls I’d love to improve my spidey writing skills lmao 🥴

"This is ridiculous…", you mumbled as you peered down on yourself.

To walk, eat, talk and even think like a Na‘vi, that was one thing. To be fair, it was an easier said than done task for your squad. But to dress like one? This was a whole new level of commitment just to get this job done!

Spider thought it was amusing, watching the recoms get used to wearing loincloths and such, all in order to put themselves into their enemies position. That was, until it was your turn to get dressed. Or, well, get undressed.

Spider couldn’t help but stare at you for a good while, now wearing a loincloth and also a skimpy woven top that barely covered more than a few inches of skin. You were seemingly having a hard time getting comfortable with your new clothes, as you were trying your absolute most to hide yourself with your arms crossed over your chest.

He was used to seeing omatikaya women in less coverings than that, but still. There was just something about you showing that much amount of bare skin that had him feeling a little dizzy.

Snapping out of his thoughts before you could even realize that he was ogling at you, Spider cleared his throat, "It’s not ridiculous. Now you actually look like true Na‘vi."

"Lookin' good, buttercup", comes from beside you both, with a snickering laugh that made your cheeks light up bright red. "Fuck off, Wainfleet", you grumbled, "Let’s just get this over with…"

The idea was, to spend an entire day learning how to hunt, with nothing more than a bow and arrows, while also being dressed like a bunch of wannabe Na‘vi. Truth be told, Spider didn’t know if that would actually help them dealing with Jake, but it wasn’t like he was ever planning on actually helping them and betray his (more or less) adoptive family. After all, he was nothing more than a prisoner of war and maybe that was his payback for the way they had treated him so far. Couldn’t hurt to make a little fun out of a group of recoms that had no idea what they were even doing out here, right?

For someone who wasn’t even used to handling guns and such, you did pretty well with a bow.

As far as Quaritch had introduced his squad to him, Spider knew that you were some sort of combat medic, usually just jumping around to treat injuries and make sure nobody dies under your watch. You worked with the military, but you weren’t a soldier. You were also around an head or two smaller than the other woman, Zdinarsk or whatever her name was, which was a nice change, because for once Spider didn’t need to crane his neck entirely to talk to someone. You were pretty much eye level with him, in more than just one way. Compared to the others, you were friendly and kind, and at least you tried to be thoughtful of the environment out here.

When the eclipse neared, the recoms began to set up a small camp in the forest to rest for the night, finally done with todays 'lessons'. There was a river gurgling by and when the Colonel gave permission, you separated from the others to get washed up and redress.

"Oh, no. No. That’s not happening", Spider shakes his head at Lyle who was currently about to set up a small campfire. "What now, pinky?", the recom barks at him, haltering all movements to look at the human with painted on stripes.

"No fire in the forest, bro. That’s an unspoken rule. You’re gonna get us killed if—", Spider tried to warn him, but was cut off short, by the sound of someone calling his name in the distance. Turning to it’s direction and then back to Weinfleet, he points a warning finger at him and says, "no fire", before he’s off to whom had called him.

A little further away, down at the river, he finds you. Your brows are furrowed in what seems to be concentration and frustration at the same time. As he steps closer, he spots the source of your distress.

"Spider, oh thank god. Could you help me with this, please", you grumble, your hands busy fumbling with the tangled cords of your loincloth. "I can’t get this shit off…" The blonde can’t help but laugh when you groan in frustration.

"You have to untie it like this. No, no like—", he tries to verbally guide you, but you seemingly make things worse with the way you impatiently pull at each tiny knot, the strings now tangled between your legs and over your hips. It’s a mess.

"Here, let me help you", Spider then sighs and lowers himself onto one knee before you.

Normally, the woven cords that hold the cloth covering your crotch in place are supposed to be wrapped around your tail. Thanks to whatever you did, or tried to do here, they were now wrapped and tangled around one of your thighs.

"Open your legs a little", he tells you and you do as your told, making room so he could untangle you from this mess. One of his hands is firm on your thigh and you try to ignore the warmth of his palm and the way he unintentionally squeezes the soft of you flesh, while his other hand flips your loincloth up. "Hold this", Spider doesn’t wait for you to respond, already shoving the piece of fabric into your hands to hold it up and out of the way.

He’s entirely too close like this, you think.

You could feel his breath fan over your skin, his thumb on the inside of your thigh, while his other hand reached back and forth between your legs, slowly untangling you.

You had to admit, it’s been a while since the last time someone came this close to you, which made the whole situation so much… worse. Adverting your gaze from the man crouching in front of you, you tried to think of anything else than his hands so incredibly close to your private parts and the way it made you feel so on edge, that you had to concentrate on your breathing.

Meanwhile, Spider attempted to find something to focus on other than the textured rope holding the two halves of your loincloth together. It rode low. Pinching the flesh over your hipbones, like it was squeezing, teasing. There was also his hand, both of them entirely too close to your—

Glancing up, he found your eyebrows scrunched together as if you were concentrating very hard. You looked up at the sky and your chest raised and fell in deep breaths, seemingly trying to calm yourself.

You couldn’t have been more obvious if you tried.

With a hand still firm on your thigh, Spider gently squeezes the soft flesh to test the waters. A smug grin spreads on his face when you don’t immediately tell him to stop, your eyes still glued to anywhere but him. He knows it’s risky, knows it’s probably not the best idea, but he can’t help himself. His hand moves a little higher, until his thumb is barely an inch away from the thin cloth covering your sex. He traces the outline of your cunt, just a teasing touch that, if your senses weren’t on high alert already, you wouldn’t even have noticed.

A small gasp escapes you, when he adds a little more pressure on his thumb, but you still don’t tell him to stop. You only shift your stance slightly, your hands still holding the front of your loincloth in a tight grip. A task for which you were grateful for, otherwise you wouldn’t even know what to do with your hands.

Spider gently brushes his digit over the thin covering between your legs, feeling the delicate outline of your clit, until a small wet patch formed right there. A mouth watering sight. He watches intensely, how you let your head fall back, how you squeeze your eyes shut and a deep blush spreads on your blue cheeks that made them look a little purplish. He had to admit, you were adorable like this.

Dutiful to his task, he then pulls his hand away in order to untie the final string, and your loincloth slowly falls off of you.

"There, all done", the blonde says softly, smiling up at you. A beat passes in silence, with just the two of you looking at each other, and Spiders hands still firm on your thigh. Your lips are parted slightly, as if you were trying to say something, but your voice was nowhere to be found. His thumb rubs gentle circles over the soft blue skin of your inner thigh, and you exhale a shaky breath. The blush on your cheeks deepens, when his gaze falls to the glistening folds of your cunt, right in front of his face, and then back up at you.

"Can I?", he asks, to which you nod and whisper a breathless, "please."

It’s all he needs to hear to return his hand between your thighs, index finger swiping through your folds to locate your clit. His fingertip circles the tiny nub gently, while he pays close attention to the buckle of your knees when he touches it just right. Arousal begins to heat up your blood as he slides his digits from your clit to your entrance. Your breath hitches.

"You’re so wet", Spider murmurs, grinning, "Did you enjoy walking around like that today?"

"Shut up…", you whisper, although it sounds more like a whimper to him. With a chuckle, he continues his teasing touches, running a hand up and down your thigh while the other smears your slick back and forth.

His fingertips are featherlight as they tease the little nub of pleasure, drawing circles around it before he slides them back and dips them into you– just an inch, and your legs tremble. There’s a sound coming from deep within your chest as he repeats the same motion again, and it almost sounds like—

"Are you purring?", Spider snickers, "Fuck, that’s so cute." Before you can talk back however, his face inches closer and then his tongue darts out to give a kitten lick to your clit. Instantly, your hands fist into his locks to anchor yourself. A breathless moan slips past your lips once he flattens his tongue against you, groaning at the taste.

"Spider, the– the others…", you swallow thickly, trying to collect your rapid breathing, "they’re going to hear!"

"Hmh", he hums in agreement, glancing up to give you a teasing wink. "Guess you‘ll have to be more quiet then."

His mouth his back on you in a heartbeat, lips closing around your clit and then he sucks and your eyes flutter close in bliss. You have to bite down on your bottom lip, hard, in order to stay quiet, but it only gets worse when he finally inserts a finger into you.

"Oh, holy shit", you moan, quickly clasping a hand over your mouth.

Then, he wriggles a second finger in beside the first one, and starts to ease them out together, then back in, a slow, slick push. You squirm, high pitched moans falling from your lips, muffled against your palm, and then a choked and breathless noise as Spider settles into a slow rhythm, pushing in deep and curving to brush something inside you that has you clenching greedily around the digits.

Meanwhile his tongue continues to lap at your clit, rolling it over every inch of the wet, warm muscle before closing his lips around it again. He sucks, kisses and slurps and it’s so obscene, you can barely look.

It feels so good every time he curves his fingers into you, hooking and pressing at that special spot, that you don’t even realize how hard you had been pulling on his hair. But Spider doesn’t seem to mind. If anything, he’s groaning into you like he enjoys this more than you do.

Your mind felt fuzzy, clouded with the squelching sounds he expertly worked out of your pussy until you were gasping and panting for air.

"S-Spider I‘m– wait, I‘m close, I’m gonna come", you half whisper, half whine, tugging his hair to make him stop for a second to look up at you.

His pupils are almost completely blown as his gaze meets yours, the bottom half of his face glistening in your slick and that smug little bastard has the nerve to smirk like a cat that got the cream.

"And?", he raises a brow, almost making a show out of licking his lips clean.

"You didn’t, I mean… you still haven’t–"

"That’s why you’re making me stop?", he chuckles like he can’t believe it, but then his eyes flash like an idea pops up in his mind.

The hand that had been resting on your thigh moves, slides down your leg before it finds the waistband of his own loincloth. With half lidded eyes you watch him pull his cock out, hard and leaking pre-cum in rich droplets that ooze from the slit of his tip, and you catch yourself swallowing at the sight.

Spiders hand closes tight around his shaft, giving himself a slow tug that makes him moan softly, and then his mouth is back on you. He’s stroking himself now, to the rhythm of his fingers that are pumping in and out of you. The low groans coming from him vibrates against your clit and you throw your head back at the pleasurable feeling.

He’s incredibly skilled with his mouth, you realize, aiming just right with the pointy tip of his tongue as he swipes over your clit in fast, tight circles. With the way he simultaneously scissors you open, it’s no surprise how quickly he can get you close again.

"F-Fuck, oh fucking hell", you moan in a whisper, "So good, feels so good! Oh– my god!"

Spiders cock throbs in his fist at the sound of your praise and he strokes himself faster, harder, teasing the slit with his thumb, imagining it’s your tongue instead. His eyes are shut and his brows are knit together in concentration as he makes out with your clit, feeling it twitch on his tongue and your walls spams around his digits.

He’s full on groaning, grinding his face between your thighs as he feels his own orgasm approach, he just needs a little more, just—

"C’mon, pretty. Come for me", he muffles almost desperately against you, fingers curling against your sweet spot at just the right angle and then you tug on his hair to get his lips back to your clit and that’s all it takes. With a hand clasped tight over your mouth to muffle your screams of pleasure, coming undone on his tongue, clamping down on his fingers and sending him clean over the edge with you.

Hips raising and pushing up into his fist, Spider comes with a choked off groan, sucking on your clit so hard it felt like you were going to collapse if he didn’t let up anytime soon.

"O-Okay, okay, fuck– Spider, s-stop", you half giggle, half moan, before he finally withdraws from between your thighs with a last kiss that makes your hips buck into it.

"Holy shit, where did you learn that?", you laugh breathlessly, genuinely impressed, as you watch him rearrange his loincloth and straighten back up.

But Spider just shrugs sheepishly and grins, "Well… it’s hard being the only one of the very few humans in the village. I had to find some way to impress, you know?"

"Hmh, I see", you giggle, nodding along. There’s a moment of comfortable silence that follows, and as you bend down to pick up your clothes. But then a warm hand settles on your hips.

A smiles tugs on your lips.

"I could show you what else I’ve learned", Spider murmurs, tilting his head to meet your eyes over your shoulder. You glance back at him, watching as he steps closer until his crotch makes contact with the curve of your ass. "Could show you the real Na’vi way." He smirks, then adds, "If you want."

His fingertips trace the arch of your spine until he reaches the base of your tail, where he closes his hand around it and tugs, firm but gentle. But it’s enough to send a full on body shiver through you, and your eyes widen in surprise as you feel a familiar tingle between your thighs.

Well. That’s new.

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shwoo · 4 months

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Okay here's my headcanons of which Bugsnax characters actually know the Journalist's name. I'm also headcanoning that Lizbert mentioned their name when she told the others she wanted to invite them, and that they tend not to give their name unless prompted. They're a journalist, is that not enough?! (They may also have some personal identity issues)

REMEMBERED THEIR NAME

Lizbert: Knows their name and maybe also their address.

Beffica: Knew their name because she's read all their articles. Pretended not to know at first as part of her facade of detachment, which is why she said "You're that journalist!" when first meeting them.

Clumby: Presumably knows them as something more specific than "obsessed monster hunter who made me have to work late."

Chandlo: Remembered because he is definitely the kind of friendly and outgoing person who can remember anyone's name after hearing it once.

Wiggle: Makes a point of remembering journalist's names. Tends to unconsciously assume that any media person is there mostly for her, so she wants to make a good impression.

Snorpy: Remembered in order to look into them and figure out if they were the heroic truth-seeker kind of journalist or the villainous sensationalist kind. Liked what he found, but still suspected they were a Grumpinati impersonator when first meeting them.

Floofty: Remembers their name, but refuses to use it out of spite.

DID NOT REMEMBER THEIR NAME

Gramble: Forgot their name, and either asked them when they met, or asked Wiggle.

Triffany: Terrible with names, apologised and asked them for it when they met.

Cromdo: Told himself he'd remember their name in case they did show up and he had the chance to sell them something, then totally forgot. Asked them what it was when they met, and immediately did the "[diminutive], can I call you [diminutive]?" thing. The Journalist said "Sure," because they didn't really care.

Eggabell: Didn't pay much attention to what Lizbert said about them, since she didn't think they'd take the invitation. Despite having quite a bit of interaction with them and worrying about their health, didn't realise she didn't know what to call them until halfway through her "I just need Filbo and... Filbo's... buddy." line.

Shelda: Tried to remember their name so she could address them by it before they introduced themself, and impress them with her mystical knowledge, but got distracted by everything else that was happening and forgot. Got away with it for a while because of her tendency to refer to people with descriptions when overacting, but exposed herself when she said "Floofty, did you ask the journalist to throw acid at you?" The Journalist made fun of her for keeping up the charade for so long, so she reminded them that Floofty had asked them to throw acid at them, and they'd done it.

Wambus: Took a little while to realise that he couldn't get away with just calling them Stranger forever, and then was too stubborn to admit defeat and ask. The Journalist specifically suggested he use their name after his "I been calling you stranger, but you been around a while" chat, but he still refused to ask what it was, or admit that he didn't already know. Eventually heard Triffany refer to them by name, but she had to do it a few times before he decided that he knew it now.

Filbo: Forget immediately after being told, and also forgot to ask when they met. Didn't realise they probably had a name until after they'd interviewed him, and didn't want to ask out of awkwardness. Hoped they or one of the others would mention it, but coincidentally, nobody ever did, at least in an unambiguous way. Eventually asked them while they were heading back to the mainland, but continues to call them Buddy anyway.

Jamfoot: Clumby told him their name when she let him know that they were also going to Snaktooth Island, and he forgot their entire existence immediately. Was confused when Clumby mentioned them by name after they returned alive, even after she clarified that they were her ex-employee who went to Snaktooth Island.

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hopefuloverfury · 4 months

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hello! ^_^ can i ask for the bachelors/ettes love languages both giving and receiving thank you! <3

(Gary Chapman, the man who came up with this theory, is a Not Great™ person, and his theory is filled with justification for misogyny and other general weirdness. The podcast If Books Could Kill did a fantastic episode on it in April of 2023, you can find it on Spotify or Apple Podcasts under The 5 Love Languages.)

I had a lot of fun with this! I will admit I kinda ditched the OG categories, but I did stick with the theme and overall you can probably figure out where everyone would land anyway. But MORE IMPORTANTLY, thank you for your request, anon. I appreciate you and I hope you enjoy this! Also this is really fucking long!! Almost 5k words!!! Holy fuck!!!!

🍀 Everyone say thank you to my best friend and editor in chief @lendelleaves for helping me with this. (I love you! <3) 🍀

Sam is a very tactile person, and I’ve said this before, but like a giant puppy who does not know he is giant, Sam likes sprawling himself all over you, no matter where you are. If you’re lounging anywhere together, his head is in your lap and his thumb is rubbing back and forth over your thigh. There have been many times when he nearly knocked out on top of you on the couches at the saloon, but his favorite place to sprawl all over you is at home.

He often traps you on the couch, and it’ll take a lot of bargaining and bribing to get him up—make no mistake though, he knows when not to push it. Sam is so observant when it comes to family, and he learns to read you quickly. He knows when you’re lying, or when you might be pretending to be okay, and is quickly able to discern whether you need support, or some space.

When you don’t need space, Sam talks. And talks. And talks. He’ll fill up a silence like nobody’s business, or drag you out to exist in the world when you’re feeling like abandoning everything. When things are really bad though, Sam takes the reins and runs things for you. In the early stages of your relationship, he wasn’t very confident helping around the household, but he’s stepped up, and he’s gotten quite good at it.

Growing up with Jodi as a mother allowed him the space to dick around and act like a slob, and he’s a little ashamed of the way he took advantage of her. You try to remind him he was a teenage boy for a lot of that time, but he’s determined not to continue that cycle, and so his favorite part is cleaning—yes, you heard me right. He loves cleaning, because it makes him feel responsible, and it also lightens your load. When the dishes are cleared after meals, or when he’s taken care to sweep and steam the floors, he adores the feeling of productivity and accomplishment afterward. While he doesn’t expect any praise or compensation for it, he does cherish the moment when you realize you have time to relax (in a clean home, no less). He doesn’t ever want to sense the same regret from you that he did from his mother.

Sebastian struggles with verbal shows of affection, and tends to express his love with actions rather than words, but he’s kind of subtle about it. It took you a while to figure out what he was trying to say when he did these kinds of things. Sebastian is the type to cut up a plate of fruit for you after a long day working on the farm, and hand it to you wordlessly. He’ll help you unlace your work boots, rub any aches or cramps out of your feet, and make you a cup of tea—anything that could help you unwind.

He loves taking you on dates! He’s taken you quite a few places on his bike, and while he’s not a huge fan of overcrowded places, he can handle them a little more easily with you by his side. You’ve gone bowling, to the arcade, mini-golfing (which he was surprised to find he absolutely sucked at), and to a few theme parks as well. He feels braver with you around, and his confidence has definitely improved since you met. He’s not concerned with the people that stare at you while you’re in public, because he knows without a shred of doubt that you’re not interested. Especially when you buy a funnel cake to share and wipe chocolate from the corner of his lips, or win him cheap plushies at a festival. He’s got a little collection of those going, by the way (and he’s named them all after fantasy characters, obviously).

When you’re not around, Sebastian likes to play some of the voicemails you’ve left him. He never clears them from his inbox, just so he has something to remind him of you when he’s lonely, and it may or may not have resulted in his inbox being completely full more than a few times. In a similar vein, his favorite messages from you are videos and voice notes, and whether you’re telling him about your day, showing off a successful harvest, or just popping in to say hello, he replays every message at least four times before melting into a puddle.

Sebastian worried you might think it’s creepy, but he has a folder on his computer just dedicated to you, full of photos, videos, and voice recordings. He also has a candid photo of you in his wallet and refuses to talk about it, but one time you showed up at his place and found him sitting on his bed staring at it. You still don’t know how long he was like that for, and he adamantly refutes your claims of seeing him doing it at all. The walls of Seb’s office are covered top to bottom in pictures of you, and you’re pretty sure that all of his devices have you as the homescreen. It’s terribly endearing.

Alex likes spending time with you. Whether it be brushing your teeth together, doing the laundry, or loading up the shipping bin with your products and produce for the day, he’s calm as long as you’re nearby. He likes the physical reminders of your presence as well—stained coffee mugs sitting in the sink after you leave to work in the fields, the residual smell of you clinging to his clothing after you steal it, your personal items scattered around the living room, and anything else you leave in your wake. He wants to spend time with you constantly, but when that isn’t realistic, he walks into the bedroom and flops onto your side of the bed, just to shove his face into your pillow and inhale the smell of you.

When you are together, he’s always holding you. Whether it’s excitedly swinging you around in a circle in the entryway after you get back from work, gluing himself to your back while you waddle around the kitchen making dinner, or even walking through town together, he’s got to have his arms around you in some way. Granted, he’s not huge on PDA, unless someone stares at you too long and he wants to make a point, but he loves hugs, and especially playing with your hands! Rubbing his thumbs over the backs of your hands, threading and rethreading your fingers together, swinging your hands back and forth while walking through town, and making sure to remind you about the existence of hand cream when it’s the thick of winter.

Granny Evelyn was always very pointedly teaching him how to take care of his personal hygiene, so you can trust that he learned from the best of the best. When he is messing with your hands, you often find him admiring your calluses. He loves how strong your hands are; he says it’s a testament to your hard work and dedication.

His life is so much better with you in it, and he’s finally comfortable just existing. Of course he still cares about gridball, but the guilt he felt about never going pro has dissipated, and he’s perfectly content in his life with you. He does wish he could’ve properly introduced you to his mom, but when you smile down at him in the morning, he likes to think the sunlight kissing the top of your head through the window is his mother’s way of showing her approval.

Elliott has a wonderful way with words, but if you want my professional opinion, this man gets tongue tied whenever you’re too forward with him. The more blunt you are, the more red in the face he gets. He’s always up in the clouds, and having someone like you there to ground him so solidly in reality switches his entire perception of love and attraction. It’s such a strong juxtaposition, against what he thought he liked, that many tropes within the romance genre have actually started to irritate him—love at first sight is probably the worst offender—and it affects the way he writes his own characters as well.

Make no mistake, he’s still very much head-over-heels for you, but he doesn’t idolize you the way he did when you first met. There’s something so overwhelmingly human about you, to him, and he loves every part of it.

So, he compliments you constantly—but almost always about something mundane or silly. The way your eyes look all droopy and clouded with sleep in the mornings, the way toothpaste surrounds your mouth while you’re brushing your teeth, or when you occasionally get your jacket pocket caught on a door handle and get jerked back with the force of hurricane level winds—and once, when you were struggling to put on your boots before a full day of work, and you tripped and toppled over in the entryway. You made the silliest sound as you went down, and even though he was quick to help you up and check you over for any potential bumps or bruises, he was laughing fondly to himself for the rest of the day.

Even the way you look rumpled and filthy after a long trip in the mines makes him soft, and he always makes sure to tell you how wonderful you are. With your influence, he’s allowed himself to abandon his forced persona of perfection, and he’s never felt so authentic and comfortable in himself. He’s free to just be, and he’s eternally grateful to you, because you’ve shown him what love is supposed to be.

Shane always checks on the animals with you in the mornings, and he likes the physical labor that comes with repairing things or clearing debris from the farm on the first day of a new season. He’ll happily repair a fence or pathing, and he’s becoming more of a DIY expert himself the longer he lives on the farm with you. Shane is aware of how overworked you were when it was just you running the farm, and taking half of the shit off your plate makes him feel productive and useful—it gives him a little more purpose. He feels guilty about some of the habits he’s still holding on to, sometimes, but waking up next to you every day reminds him just how much makes life worth living.

He gets a little down when there’s nothing to do on the farm, so if you want him to have a little more pep in his step, you know to ask him to do the usual chores while you dive down into the mines for the day. You do this the most often in winter, when the crops in the greenhouse aren’t ready for harvesting. He’s grateful for the work, and the knowledge that you trust him to take care of things while you’re fighting monsters makes him feel fulfilled.

After a long day in the fields and with the animals, he likes lounging around before bed with you. His cheeks get so pink when you rub his back and give him massages, and when you shove a hand under his shirt while cuddling to rub his belly. He enjoys talking to you about anything and everything, and there have been a few late mornings because the two of you stayed up past midnight talking.

He’s gotten pretty good at cooking, too! With all the extra time and a lot more of a sense of purpose in his life, he’s allowed himself to build interest in things he didn’t used to have the energy or time for, and that includes cooking. Make no mistake, he’s still comfortable with popping a frozen dinner in the microwave when neither of you have the time or energy to make a meal from scratch, but he’s become quite the chef! He tries to cook dinner for the two of you at least a few times a week, and he melts a little inside when you do the food dance after trying any of his recipes. He’ll smile so wide, and the tips of his ears will turn peachy-pink if you dare compliment his cooking, so you make sure to do it as often as possible.

Harvey is always feeding you and making sure you’re dressed appropriately for the weather. He will absolutely run out the door after you in his robe and slippers if you forget a scarf, and a portion of your backpack space is reserved for the lunchboxes he makes you in the mornings. When you come back from the mines, regardless of how well it went or not, you have to let him give you a mini-checkup. He will not be able to sleep soundly if you don’t let him look you over, and he will nag you the entire time. He’s never mean about it, and he doesn’t treat you like a child, but it typically lasts fifteen to twenty minutes, and he might get weepy if he finds out you’ve been hurt.

He’s just afraid for your safety, and he doesn’t want his life to go back to the dull and lonely repetitiveness it was before. Despite all of that, though, he’s calmed down quite a bit. He still has anxiety, but he’s no longer choked by it, and he’s relieved to have someone in his corner who can help ground him when his brain gets a little too ramped up.

He’s still totally socially awkward, though. He loves to hold your hand, but can’t do much more than that in public, because all of his blood rushes to his face and it makes him dizzy. He loves taking walks on the beach with you, and is the type to draw a heart in the sand with a stick and put your initials in it, but he’ll immediately scribble it out if you make a big deal out of it.

In private, Harvey is a huge fan of parallel play activities; if you’re at the dining table reading a book, he’s probably going over medical papers or reading about fighter planes beside you. He doesn’t usually speak during these quiet moments, but occasionally he’ll reach over to grab your free hand and pull it up to his lips for a quick kiss. If you whine about needing your hand back, he purposely tickles your hand with his mustache and won’t let you pull away until he gets a real, full smile out of you. Since being with you, his life has become more rich and lively, and he gets more excited about things that would’ve gotten nothing more than a mild smile out of him in the past. You really have changed his whole life.

Maru pays really close attention to anything you express the slightest interest in. If you mention a particular candy that you’ve become obsessed with, she buys a full box the next day. If you mention liking a particular recipe, she’ll make it as often as possible until you get sick of it, and then she’ll move onto the next interest. The few times you took her to the city to visit your family, she made sure to take note of anything you looked at twice in any shop so she could buy it for you later. She’s surprised you with plenty of gifts this way, but there have also been a few times where she made the thing herself, and was very proud to say that her version was both better and worked smoother.

Your farm has become a lot more automated, due to the sheer amount of tech and machines she’s built. She wants to make the harvesting process as smooth and as light in labor as possible, so that you have more time for yourself and your interests. She watched her mother’s physical state deteriorate over the years due to how often she’s lugging giant logs around, and doesn’t want the same thing to happen to you, so she’s constantly looking for new ways to lighten your load.

She loves info dumping about her newest inventions or discoveries, and her favorite shared activity is stargazing. You commissioned Robin for a rooftop deck shortly after moving in together, and there have been many nights spent up there, with you pointing out different stars to Maru and allowing her to go on and on about nebulae, star systems, and giant interstellar clouds. She loves answering all of your questions, and never belittles you for not knowing something, or for asking an “obvious” question. It helps her brush up on her own knowledge as well!

Beyond that, she likes roping you into shitty movie marathons. She’ll pop a few bags of popcorn and get out several bowls of snacks, and maybe if you’re feeling frisky she may just bust out a bottle of wine to enjoy between the two of you. She doesn’t think the movies are fantastic, but that’s the point! Her favorite parts are when she looks over at you after a particularly ridiculous scene, and she gets to watch you go through the five stages of grief in as many seconds. You’ve created a fair amount of inside jokes through this little ritual of yours, and it always makes her laugh, no matter how ridiculous the references are.

Penny takes immense care of the farmhouse, and loves decorating and redecorating your spaces. She’s always looking for the coziest pillows, or the prettiest wallpaper, and she includes you in every step of the process. If there’s anything you don’t jive with, or something you want to get done on the house but can never get to with all the other work you’re constantly doing, have no fear, because Penny will either find a contractor (Robin) to complete the project, or she’ll pick up a hammer and do it herself.

She likes being a homemaker, and she’s good at it, and seeing you enjoy or react positively to any renovations and additions will make her whole month. You especially enjoy the home library she’s curated, because it’s by far the coziest room in the house, and because that’s where she loves to read to you—it’s something of a nightly routine for you both. After you’re finished getting ready for bed, she’ll sit on the thrifted chaise she restored, wait for you to get comfortable against her shoulder, and she’ll read until you’re sleepy enough to go to bed. (Sometimes you do pass out in there though.)

Your library is full of annotated books she’s given you, though she uses sticky notes to avoid writing directly on the pages, she will write an inscription inside the front cover with a short address to you about why she thought you’d like it. It’s pretty sweet, especially when she gives you romance books and explains with bright red cheeks that the main love interest reminded her of you. That’s always a cute moment, even though you’re a little shit sometimes and will quote the love interest in private moments, just to fluster her.

Penny secretly likes it, though—especially when you try to woo her. Whether it be with roses, dates, gifts, or flowery words, she loves every bit of it. Even though you’re together and she isn’t going anywhere, you don’t abandon those habits later on, and it reassures her. She initially figured the effort would be too much for someone as busy as you, but you always make time and plan romantic things for her, and she’s happy to know that her romance novels aren’t wholly fictional. You’re living proof of that.

Abigail has softened up quite a bit during her relationship with you. Don’t get me wrong, she’s still pretty passionate and bullheaded, but overall, she’s much calmer. She’s comfortable being herself and doesn’t feel the need to get defensive about who she is or what her interests are anymore, and it’s opened up a lot of avenues of self expression for her. She tries new things all the time, and she’s never shy about sharing her experiences or the results of them, because she knows you’re not going to judge her for it.

But because she feels so secure with you, she’s much more comfortable showing affection without fear of rejection or humiliation. That said, she stares at you a lot. Before you may have gotten a pillow launched at your face for bringing it up, but now she’s perfectly okay with being caught. She actually uses it to her advantage most of the time, and will take the opportunity to compliment you, like, “What, I can’t stare at the love of my life?”

She loves flustering you. It’s mostly genuine, but she does do it just to be a little shit sometimes. When you play video games together (especially ones where you’re competing), she’ll grab your face and pull you into a kiss just to get ahead. It works 90% of the time, even when you know what she’s trying to do. She thinks it’s really cute, and loves seeing you get all worked up when she messes with you like that, but sometimes she does get lost in it and will abandon the game entirely.

On a more serious note, Abigail never lets you go down into the mines without her. She hates having to hear from Harvey, and she’d rather be there with you to prevent any accidents or injuries. It’s easier to get through the shafts with a second pair of eyes and another sword handy, so you’re alright with it—and another upside is that you’re never short on ore and coal anymore. When you get out of the mines afterward, she always suggests a dip in the spa. It helps you both relax and recuperate after a lengthy trip, and she gets to see you in a swimsuit. She may like the second part more, but hey, can you blame her? She thinks you’re hot, let her stare a bit more.

Haley is extremely tactile with her affection—she was pretty embarrassed about it at first, and tried to keep it at bay initially, but it caused some problems early on and that talk was not fun, so she doesn’t repress it anymore. If she wants to kiss you, she’ll ask for it, and the same can be said for any other physical affection. She wants you as close as possible a lot of the time, and when you do meet her need for touch, she all but turns into a cat.

She’ll push her face as far into your chest as it’ll go, latch herself onto your torso with all her strength, and if she’s feeling particularly goofy, she’ll jump into your arms like a koala. It’s very silly (and incredibly endearing), and she always giggles uncontrollably when you drop everything you’re doing to support her weight. She always warns you beforehand, and she does know when it isn’t safe or appropriate, so rest assured nothing goes wrong when she does decide to launch herself at you. Her favorite part about those moments is when you finally get a good grip on her. Again, she’s a tactile lover first and foremost, so your touch is going to make her happy no matter what.

Besides touch, she likes how little you care about her appearance—make no mistake, she does appreciate when you take notice of all the effort she puts into her appearance—but she loves it when you wake her up in the mornings with a kiss, uncaring of her morning breath and eye crust. Like, sure, she grew up attractive and wealthy, and that meant she was popular, but it also meant she was highly criticized for everything she did. She could never have a blemish, a single hair out of place, or an embarrassing moment, and if she did, she’d be verbally torn to shreds. Always the topic of gossip, she learned to close herself off and pretend, pretend, pretend; but with you, she doesn’t need to.

She doesn’t feel the need to go to sleep with a full-face of makeup on, the way she did when she spent the night at her previous boyfriends’ places, and she’s perfectly content lounging around the house with a bare face and a tangled bun piled on top of her head. She can make all the hideous faces she needs to when applying her makeup and not agonize over whether you’ll still love her afterward. You’ve allowed her the space to let loose and let herself be imperfect, and it’s comfortable. She’s happier than she’s ever been, and a lot of it is thanks to you.

Leah is an artist, and it permeates her entire life—including the ways she loves you. She wants to make art out of you in a million ways, especially tactile ones, like braiding your hair or helping you dress yourself. She frequently stops you at the door before you head out for work, and she’ll fix your shirt collar or put your hat on for you, and adjust your hair until it lays perfectly.

She has paintings of you scattered around the house, but they aren’t always portraits. If you look hard enough, you can find hints of her love for you in all the art she creates; a canvas covered in your favorite flowers, a picture painted only with your favorite color, or subtle snapshots of your life together. She does have a portrait of you above her work desk, though, and it is by far her favorite piece. (She has rejected multiple offers for it, and she always will.)

She loves working on her art projects while you watch, and it’s become something of an inconsistent routine for the both of you. It started after dinner one night, when she was cracking down on a deadline for a commission, but you still wanted to keep her company. Not wanting to leave you hanging, she grabbed two glasses of wine, and you sat comfortably on her studio couch while she painted the piece for her client. She never demands silence from you in these moments, but when you are quiet, it’s easier for her to fall into the cozy atmosphere. Her work often feels less stressful with you watching, because if she gets overwhelmed or irritated with stubborn mediums, she can just flop next to you and take her mind off of the problem.

When you’re not home and she has no immediate commissions, she paints tiny hidden meadows on your furniture: on the bottom leg of your dining table, the inside door of a dish cabinet, the underside of your desk, the top of your front door, and even around the farm as well. She’s always so excited when you find another mini-meadow, and it’s like a special treasure hunt for the two of you. She’s gotten pretty good at hiding them, and she’s quite sneaky about it—except for the one time she fell into the pig pen trying to paint on the rafters in the barn—but that’s neither here nor there. (Don’t let her find the picture on your phone!)

Emily is like a crow. You’ve developed a mini collection of random trinkets, rocks, sea glass, shells, and feathers over the course of your relationship, all found and gifted to you by Emily. She sees a pretty shiny thing and immediately thinks of you. Sometimes she follows you around during your daily errands, just to keep you company. She absolutely steps in to lighten your load when you need it (or rather, when you let her), but usually she’s fine just listening to you talk, and vice versa.

She also likes taking care of you. Emily makes her own homemade soap and body oils, and if you’re ever worn out after a particularly long day, she’ll set up a mini-spa for you, and pamper you for however long it takes to wring out any lingering aches and pains. She’ll bust out dried flower petals and draw a bath for you, making sure to light candles and turn on a diffuser filled with calming oils to help you relax while you bathe. She doesn't want you to lift a single finger, and she may go so far as to dress and feed you after a bath; she likes to use warming oils and massage your entire body before bed. It’s both very vulnerable and incredibly relaxing—but that is her goal, after all—and she always finishes off her pampering with a healthy dose of kisses pressed all over your face.

While not everyone has as strong a connection to the spiritual side of the world, Emily does—and she likes sharing that with the people she cares about. Regardless of whether or not someone believes in the same things she does, she likes to look over your birth chart and horoscopes together, and sometimes she’ll do a tarot card reading for you, just for fun. She’s aware that people think she’s weird for being into these things, but you’ve never shut her down or made fun of her for her interests, and she’s both grateful and overwhelmed by how it makes her feel. No one else has taken such care to understand her, and she feels safe enough to be her most authentic self when you’re around each other.

It’s also why she likes to dance with you! Whether it be a little dance-off in the kitchen while you’re preparing dinner together, or a slow dance in the living room, or even acting like nutcases at the saloon after a few too many drinks, she’ll have fun as long as it’s with you. She always has fun when it’s with you.

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nailgunstigmata · 4 months

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i couldnt fall asleep and spent the last few hours watching tiktoks of people pretending to be wolves so i probably cant articulate this well rn but i think theres something deeply sad about how much of not just fandom but life in general is done with ironic detachment nowadays. a kind of plausible deniability of feeling anything at all. and i catch myself doing this too!! its just a lot easier to not be vulnerable and earnest online. baring ur soul in front of anyone is terrifying because ur always giving them the opportunity to hurt u when u do it

like even with this post a part of my brain is going ok its not that deep omg but like. maybe it is that deep. maybe the things we do and say and the way we navigate the world matters even in an online space about a sitcom. maybe everything can have meaning and we should be careful of what we are saying and listen to other people and try to be nice to each other because theres already plenty of cruelty in the world

and again i have the internet socialised part of my brain screaming at me that this is cringe and nobody cares but again thats stupid. like thats stupid. nobody is being held at gunpoint to read my dumb rambles and if people mock my words thats their personal failure and not mine. u just have to kinda not listen and be earnest anyways and be comforted by the fact that this mindset of self denial isnt healthy for anyone. u cant be detached and happy those two things are mutually exclusive and irony is a thing that can genuinely poison you. like im speaking from experience i literally have the same kind of brainrot and i think that most people have it, especially gen z since we grew up on the internet and started curating the way people perceive us online way too soon. like yeah theres a point where u only know the self that exists to be perceived and that sucks i think.

mocking others vulnerability is fun and safe but it cant make you happy. the only thing that can is being genuine and open and vulnerable. its scary but its the only way. what im trying to say is that the live laugh love girlies were kinda onto something (minus the christian fundamentalism) and we are gradually spiraling into a world in which nothing is real and everything is a commodity and the only way to save ur soul is to be genuine and earnest with people u love and with the world in general. lets cling to our humanity as capitalism alienates us and keeps us trapped in a perpetual cycle of dissatisfaction so we can consume and be consumed forever and ever while giving just enough to keep the engine pumping. im not saying that actively trying to be earnest is the antidote for capitalism but i do think it helps salvage our humanity. and i do think its the only way to be happy

#like yeah idk ill always be a person that feels things deeply and gets emotional about dumb things #and ive learned to grow a hard shell over my feelings that im still trying to whittle down #and even now its like. why am i saying over dumb things? why am i doing that to myself #theres no such thing as being emotional over a dumb thing because being emotional is never stupid. its good and important #this isnt sunny fandom specific just something ive noticed online #idk. and even in person. tho its worse online ofc because #further detachment via screen etc #i should sleep

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jaays-moon · 2 months

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ghostbusters👻☎

heeseung x reader (afab) genre: friends to lovers, conducting a seance, spooOooky, friends having fun!! synopsis: what is better than a sleepover after the dreadful exams? a game of calling ghosts at a sleepover! where y/n and her friends play the game of seance with candles. word count: 2.6K 🖤🖤 DISCLAIMER‼️ i do not intend make fun of the practice or anyone who believes in such things. this story is purely for entertainment. continue reading....༉‧₊˚🕯️🖤❀༉‧₊˚.

"dude we are still having the sleepover right?" hearing heeseung's voice over the phone was just the moral boost i needed to protect myself from the eventual bed rot.

"yeah... we do, don't we..." however, nothing could stop me from the self-loathing that ensued after our exam results were published.

"y/n are you still sad about your grades? dude... you literally topped the class. so what jay beat you to rank 1, you know that nerdball is always trying to one up you."

ha...was it that evident in my voice "no, haha no its... ugh you know what, yeah i am upset. LIKE HE LITERALLY TOLD ME HE DIDN'T DO WELL IN PHYSICS, BUT THAT HOE??? this is why i hate toppers."

"oh? is it so?"

JAY??? what- omg did hee just put me on a three way call??

"HEE?" what is this guy doing. gosh way to go. he sure does know how to put me on the spot!

"no bestie it is I. the topper. you know you should actually let me know how crude your true intent is. and here i thought you were a friend."

"oh well good cause i can't be friends with LIARS! i wasn't the one who pretended to not know about the exam and then proceed to get an A! that is actually being an asshole. also that you never told me about getting tutored by jake."

"wait what you were getting tutored by jake? is this how you steal peoples friends jay?"

"WHAT? NO I DIDN'T? THAT LIL SHIT HAS BEEN TELLING EVERYONE THAT? JAKE-"

*the line cuts and the doorbell rings*

who could that be?

"hee?" "yes? who else? its time for the sleepover girl?"

"its 7 o' clock in the evening heeseung, who comes this early anyways-" i mean how does it even matter to scold him cause either ways, he barges into the house.

"well technically i do live here. its like my second home. do you need to take permission to enter your own house love?" of course. the only reason why i am friends with hee. he is unapologetically himself. it puts me at ease to have a person who thinks of me so dearly. or thinks of my home so dearly...

"ok fyi i also sent the invite in the gc"

"oh i know, jay is on the way with jake, maybe after he beats him up tho."

i chuckle at the thought of those two bickering. obviously jake hadn't told me anything about tutoring. it was just fun to watch them bicker after all! "and for you, i also invited leah over." a wicked grin decorates my face as i watch hee's jaw drop and eyes go wide in horror.

"Y/N??? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO what? why? how could you do this to me? YOU ARE VERY AWARE OF HOW CLINGY SHE IS WITH ME. she is like obsessed with me or something! please no y/n. i am so sorry!! Y/N"

"hee be nice! she is my friend! and everyone has tiny crushes. she just likes you a bit. as the good friend that i am, i am just helping her out! she also has something planned for the night. she was recommending some game? i don't know."

*bell rings*

"i guess that must be the two actual friends of mine. the ones who TRULY care for me!" i chuckle as i approach the door.

however nobody stands as i open the door. i look outside to check my surroundings but it is as quiet as a night full of mysteries could be. the sudden noise of thunder fills the ambience as it starts pouring heavily. i shriek as i run back into the house, locking the door. "hee...?" i look over the kitchen counter, the sofa, and knock on the bathroom doors he doesn't respond. "ugh where did this kid go? hee, hees- AHHHHHH!

something black just covers my eyes from the back as a scream for my life. "geez, if you didn't know how to defend yourself, you sure can make a serial killer go deaf. you know you should audition for those roles of screamers in the slasher thrillers."

"HEESEUNG! NOT FUNNY. I WAS SO SCARED!" "aww pookie was scared" "ew-" but his warm hug makes up for it. as the cold from the rain starts creeping into the room, heeseung offers me his jacket.

"what about you?" "don't worry. you will be warm and smell nice in it." he adds on with a wink. this guy. my laughs cover how blown out my pupils look. it isn't fair. how he gets to have this effect on me. i mean we are friends but moments like these, make me question otherwise. why can't i reciprocate the flirtations? why am i defeated dumb by this gorgeous guy?

"ok leah justed texted me. jay is picking her up" "you text leah?" "sometimes, when i think my charm is wearing off." "you are such an asshole! i am going to tell her." "no you won't." "and why is that?" "cause you care about me. cause, you like me." a grin of victory. i wave my hand to dismiss the words thrown out in air. is it that simple for him?

☆ ★ ✮ ★ ☆

our boisterous laugh fills my apartment. if it weren't for these people i genuinely wouldn't make it through college. but as we talk, as we laugh, heeseung keeps falling all over me.

"HEESEUNG WHY DO YOU HAVE A SERIOUS CASE OF IJBOLITIS YOU WILL SQUISH Y/N." jay's boisterous accusation fills the room when jake ends up becoming a water fountain spitting out the cola he was drinking. "omg y'all!! now i need to get tissues" shaking my head isn't enough for the amount of chaos these people cause.

was i saying something about them saving me throughout college? never mind that, it is in direct proportion to the headache they give me. stealing glance from hee i move towards the kitchen "y/n could you also get...um..five! yes five candles!" "candles? for what leah?" "remember?! i told you we have to play a game. i mean we are done watching a movie. it is raining outside. IT IS 3 AM! this is the perfect time to have a seance!" "ah what now?"

"a seance jake. wouldn't have expected you to know however." "please do explain jAy. wHat is a sEanCe"

"well you see in ancient times-"

"it is a ghost calling game!"

"it is NOT a game leahhh." wow... i have never seen jay pout?

"wellllllll none of us are mediums."

"what would you know baby i could be a medium?"

"BABY??" "BABY?" "you both-"

"what y/n? as if you aren't hiding something?! *giggling* you and hee... aren't you also dating? you may not tell your dear friend-"

"what? no no you have it wrong leah. y/n and i. i would never date her. we can never date. we are friends. right y/n? y/n-"

i rush to the kitchen as soon as possible. i have nothing to do with that conversation. i should have known. it was just heeseung being heeseung. he is just nice to everyone. it shouldn't mean anything that the way he looks at me is any different. it was just my perception. it was my fault i thought that heeseung could love me any more than a friend. it should have been me who answered that. of course. like he said we could never date. why would he date me. why would i date him. why am i hurt-

"y/n? why did you leave like that?"

as i feel my throat burning at the familiar sound. my eyes are about to spill the truth. "didn't leah ask to get the candles though? why are you worried." as i shove past him in my annoyance which almost turned into guilt. reaching up to open the cabinet heeseung comes closer, hovering over me to reach the matchbox. "y/n" oh i know that timbre of his voice. the low, soothing tone, prying to know if i am hurt. i am not. definitely. "what?" "i am supposed to ask you that. i know you have something on your mind. i mean i know you were trying to set me up with your friend-" oh. he wasn't even thinking about me. good lord. this is pathetic. i am pathetic. "no i wasn't worried about that. matter of fact i wasn't worried at all. first you three way call jay to "prank" me. and now you think i am unlovable. pick a side lee heeseung. do you even care or not."

"woah. government name... if i didn't know you better, i would say you are mad right now." "that is the point heeseung. you don't. know. me." "baby-" "DO NOT CALL ME THAT!" as i push him back to the kitchen island i feel his round eyes on me filled with concern and guilt. i am unable to pull him back before he bumps into the glass as it shatters to the floor.

"ayo? what happened-" jake's concerned voice broke both of us from the intense glare we shared.

"DID THE GLASS JUST BREAK? LEAH BABY! ISN'T THIS A BAD OMEN. WE SHOULDN'T BE DOING THIS!" "jay.... baby relax it didn't fall on it's own."

"ew, get a room." leah rolls her eyes as she speaks "i guess heeseung bumped into it. right?" "yeah. that is exactly what happened."

☆ ★ ✮ ★ ☆

"so that is basically it. we hold each other's hands and ask if any spirit is out there who wants to contact us. and i know how hard it is for us to remain silent, calm and composed we HAVE to. the candles will flicker and we can then start asking questions! only ask yes or no questions. also, no questions about death, money or future! ok y/n babe light the candles in the center please!!"

as leah instructs all of us we get into position. i immediately scurried next to leah's side and held her hand as we all sat down. i could sense heeseung's intense stare on me but for the sake of my sanity, i choose to ignore him like all my problems in life. didn't know he would someday fall on that list. am i being dramatic? maybe. i am just a girl! 🫧𓇼𓏲*ੈ✩‧₊˚🎀

"wow that is cool and everything but, sorry y/n i don't want to hold sweaty ass palms?" "excuse ME-" "i said what i said!" jake dashes of to sit next to jay who was happily seated next to his gf. this jake had one job. heeseung awkwardly shifts to sit next to me. my hands go cold with the tight feeling in the pit of my stomach. i try to be extremely nonchalant about it. but in the shuffle i almost skid on the stupid floor which makes him snort. i look up to squint at him but it elicits only a response of a smirk from him. oh.

"oh also if the candle assigned to each of us flickers then it is a yes and if all the candles remain still. well, a no." "aw babeee you are learning so well!" "the best is teaching me" as jay shoots a wink at his partner we all physically groan with jake audibly gagging. well this is going to be fun...

☆ ★ ✮ ★ ☆

as the rounds went by the questions became stupider. you would think that all of us had a collective braincell count of negative 5.

"am I the smartest in this group"

" *cough* nO *cough* "

"shut up jake!"

"whaaaat it wasn't me :("

this is what i missed the most, laughing, having fun with your friends. i also long back started to feel at ease with hee's warm hands melting into mine. i had gone overboard with my feelings and it wasn't fair to hee or me... i just had made assumptions. i wished to clear the air. as my other friends continued to bicker i turned towards hee.

"hee...i am sorry for pushing you earlier. i just... it did sting when you said you would NEVER date me. i mean i am not that bad of a person am i" i laugh trying to cover the underlying connotations of my ask. " *chuckles* im sorry y/n. it was actually on me that i assumed you would be averse to dating ME. i mean who would want to date their friends, right?" his response caught me off guard so did his tone. he ended the question with some unsaid hope. i tried to decipher what he meant while trying to study his eyes. his eyes were locked into mine the similar way. trying to uncover the surface and delve deeper.

"i guess there are two other love birds here!" leah's voice broke us from a trance like state. " ahha leah. so its my turn? ok i would like to ask whether i will be rich- "HEE DO YOU WANT TO DIE LEAH JUST SAID NO QUESTIONS ABOUT MONEY!!!" " well...if it means it will be in your arms-"

"ohh my godddddd"

"i think i just barfed in my mouth-"

"YOU are actually the perpetrator of such CRIME!"

"EXCUSE ME-"

no amount of eye rolls can save the redness that creeps into my face. this guy- but this time i try to play along. "well why are you trying to be like romeo-juliet, when we can be hee-y/n alive and happy." i add on a wink feeling extra feisty.

the silence which fills the room could be cut through with a knife. i was about to back track when hee's jaw dropped like never before and a howling laughter ensued.

"oh heeseung she DEVOURED YOU SO BAD!!"

"damn y/n should flirt more often!!"

hee was just as dumbfounded as i was at my response.

"oh yeah? are you sure y/n. don't make promises you can't keep." his voice dropped to a soothing volume. his head tilted with the slightest smolder in his eyes. not to overpowering. just enough to hypnotize, mesmerize. as he turned towards the the candle circle his voice become bold and clear.

"dear spirit just y/n like me?" is he for real!!?? did he just ask that in front of... at that moment it felt as all the air in the room had left. a chill ran through my spine. i could see my friends start to feel uneasy as it seemed something, or someBODY else had joined our little gathering. i could see leah's face drop as she held my hand's tighter than usual. even jake and jay feel completely silent with the ambience in the air which dropped the temperature.

" ok... um so heeseung your candle isn't flickering-"

"but baby look... y/n's candle is flickering."

it felt like time had stopped. the room felt eerily filled with various other auras. feeling intensified. the tension was rising. as if as an instinct i held onto hee's hand tighter than before. from my periphery i noticed him glance towards me. he reciprocated.

"ok that is enough, thank you spirit for joining us." leah broke the tension as she blew out the candles and all of us sighed. as if everyone was holding their breathe expecting the worse.

all of us looked at each other. "ok... well the spirit didn't have to expose me like that..." everyone started giggling. this experience was something else.

"so you do like me?"

"well we all knew that before you two idiots knew."

"for once I agree with jake. you both are so blind, imagine, a LITERAL SPIRIT had to come and expose y'all."

"wellll THIS WAS FUN. and, i beg you y/n. NEVER second guess MY intuition. mwah mwah. you both are soooo adorbs!!"

and all i and hee could do in laugh and fall in for each other all over again.

omg this was long af😭😭 i had so many doubts and second thoughts with this buttttt, i hope you like it‼️‼️ please do show support and love by reblogging🖤and sending in asks in the mailbox💌thank you ‧₊˚🖇️✩ ₊˚🎧⊹♡

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ystrike1 · 1 year

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Divorcing My Tyrant Husband - By Josara (8/10)

I'm aware that this webtoon has a bad reputation, but I'm giving it a high rating anyway. I love the slow burn. The creeping horror of being trapped. The struggle and the hate too, even if all of those things have a comedic tone. This story does get pretty dark, and then the author throws in a yandere. Then, they make the guy you hate obsessive too. Darn. Guess I have to see what happens next.

Sadly, we all hate the love interest. He sucks super hard in the beginning, and it takes FOREVER for him to get...ok. don't crucify me. The guy is not a nice guy, but he's not boring. The worst thing a romance novel protagonist can be is boring.

He's not. Alexandros Castilla is NOT a boring sexy Emperor character. He is a ruler who only cares about keeping his nation prosperous. His wife, Robellia, loves him but he only married her to ally with her father. He takes in a concubine, who is the legendary holy White Lotus. He eventually replaces Robellia with that concubine. Even though Aisha is lazy compared to Robellia her image is better so he chooses her.

Wait. Sorry I forgot some stuff. Aisha is lying about being the White Lotus. Alexandros is aware of this. HE is the White Lotus. He lets Aisha lie and pretend to be that holy figure, because her bullshit makes politics easier for him. Being the White Lotus involves alot of pomp and circumstance. If he's the White Lotus he has to deal with constant bargaining. If his WIFE is the White Lotus he can just say he's possessive and hide her, and avoid the annoying church in the process.

Are you starting to understand what kind of guy this is?

Don't start thinking he's cool. He kills Robellia to do this. He locks her in a room. She doesn't receive any care and she basically dies of depression after being abandoned. This is after taking on alot of duties and bringing glory to the Imperial House, by the way. She wasn't a bad wife. She just wasn't the most convenient choice.

Brutal.

We're in a romance novel by the way. One of the really toxic ones where cheating on your wife is always a good thing. New Robellia knows she will be killed, so she says fuck it. She demands a divorce day one, and she starts causing havoc. She bullies Aisha, and fuck it she enjoys it. Aisha is a bitch who does no work, and her whole cute persona is a lie. Robellia treats her like mud to force the Emperor to divorce her. Like...he didn't have to kill her off. He could have just accepted the mild inconvenience that is divorcing her. Robellia refuses to stand down. She even calls the Emperor out for his fake flirting. She says everything he says is fake, and she also slaps him.

It's very silly but fun at first.

Aisha is a problem for many, many reasons. She's annoying and good at manipulating people. She also seems to think she's the main character. She is also a reincarnated Korean woman. She doesn't understand why the Emperor doesn't love her yet. She can also see that his sweet words are entirely fake.

Here's...the twist.

The romance novel was never romantic. Sure, it was sold as a romance but in the actual story is just a lie. Lies on lies. Aisha thinks she will be loved above all else, but the Emperor is just using her, the same way he used Robellia. She goes completely crazy because she can't accept that but yeah...nice plot twist. Too bad the lead of your romance novel was only "performing romance" this whole time.

Nobody actually acts like that lol and obviously a cheater can never be a romantic.

It's kinda sorta a good lesson.

Anyway.

Robellia thinks he's shit and she wants out.

Aisha will never give up, because she wants her ideal romance and unlimited power at the same time.

Alexandros starts to observe Robellia, and it becomes stalking. I didn't notice for a couple chapters, because in the beginning it's just spying. Soon he realizes that a competent Empress is better than a puppet. Robellia also has a secret sweet side, that she never shows him. It makes him want to earn her trust back...but he is not good at romance. His super fake stuff is hollow as wood, and apparently the way he shows affection is stalking...and expensive gifts. Robellia throws away his gifts, and eventually they duke it out politically. Which just...makes him acknowledge her skill even more...uh oh...

This is the yandere. His name is Caleb and he's a young slave. He has a lame leg. Robellia buys him with a bunch of other slaves. She is desperately trying to look bad. That's the whole reason why she buys the slaves, but then she gives them jobs in the castle. Which gives her more power, and also Caleb has magic.

Caleb was supposed to have a crush on Aisha, but Robellia finds him when he's a kid. That completely ruins Aisha's chances of winning. Robellia is happy about that, and she decides to make Caleb her knight. He honestly tells her about his magic, and she does need his support.

Alexandros is actually powerful. Robellia is trapped in the castle unless he lets her go.

Caleb swears to be her slave forever. He kisses her foot. Robellia knows he was a dark character in the books, but she thinks that future will change. She intends to give him a better life. She tells him to stop the foot kissing and make some friends. Caleb immediately lies and says he doesn't want to go to magic school. He says he's been bullied too much, and he's scared of kids his age.

A total lie.

He just wants to be with Robellia all the time.

Fortunately for Robellia Caleb is already a killing machine, who was using his weak-disabled-slave boy act to stay unnoticed. He's very useful, but he hides that from her to get closer to her.

Alexandros immediately becomes jealous of Caleb, even though he's a literal child. He wants to be with Robellia all the time, like a Knight. He sends even more spies and from that point on Robellia is wrapped in obsession. Her every move is watched. Caleb is a classic yandere, but I think Alexandros has appeal...for some people. Alexandros isn't an emotionally repressed sad boy. He's a smart and ruthless person who doesn't compromise. His obsession with Robellia disturbs even him, and he has already admitted that he will drag her back if she leaves.

Is he charming?

No, but the layers of lies are great.

#yandere #male yandere #yandere male #yandere boy #recommendations #recs #rec #recommended #webtoon #Divorcing My Tyrant Husband

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twst-drabbles · 3 months

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Bit nsfw but which yan twst boys would let me grope them? Just degrade them even more by treating them like an object I can touch any time I want.

Honestly, one could convince any number of them to let the you grope them if you're persistent and manipulative enough. Though, obviously some are more enthusiastic than others.

Such as Malleus and Rook, with Rook being that over-enthusiastic type while Malleus is more... coy? Pretending that he's doing you a favor while you grope him all over? You get the vibe. Adding to the coy vibes is Ruggie as well. He's a little shit that pretends you're the pervert when in reality, it's him. Nobody is stopping him from spitting out his shirt.

Anyways Rook. He's... yeah he's so enthusiastic about being groped that he does not care for who hears him. You can manhandle him all you want and he'll take it with gusto. You could ruin him and he would just pop back up no problem.

You can add Jade and Floyd in the enthusiastic category as well, though you should probably expect them to put up a fight. Not because they don't want to be groped but because they want that added bit of fun. You know, made to feel small and all that. Floyd does start talking dirty, though it's pretty much slurred by this point. And most of the dirty talking is aimed at himself. And Jade completely loses all of his composure. Gets a little fanatic and if you show any signs of pulling away, his mood full on swings a different direction and goes quiet in what seems like anger. And then he'll pop right back to his usual eerily polite self.

Selfish selfish eels.

Epel is also in there, though he's more demanding about it. Like, he will grab your hands to have you grope him if he's impatient enough. It's funny because he sees this as a manly move. It's not.

Sebek is... he's a little more resistant at first. In his infatuation, he wants to follow what should be the proper way of wooing someone, like the old fashioned fellow he is. Even if he goes about it in a real creepy way. And when that's pointed out, he'll be slammed with guilt. This guilt makes for a fine tool to use against him and grope him. It's inappropriate! He should not be letting this happen! But isn't this what he wanted all along?

You know the kind.

Azul is part of the same boat as Sebek. He wants to follow a set of rules, a formula that he can easily control in case things go south. Basically trying to tackle the matters of the heart in his usual business man way, with a little added spoilage because if doesn't give just a bit more, then he can't expect things to go his way. Groping him without warning will lead to him hissing for you to stop, but he doesn't take your hands off. He flushing, he's blushing, and he continues to take your hands.

Riddle would be fun as well, if only with how easy it is to get him to shut up. Gets caught up in his own bodily reactions way too easily. He will struggle though, because it's heavily overstimulating, but with enough insistence, he will turn away and just let it be. He's scared, angry, and enjoying this all at the same time. His teary eyes and frowning mouth will be so fun to see.

#admin #yandere

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androgynousblackbox · 2 months

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Welcome to Hazbin Vale. 6 [Appleradio, Radioapple]

[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N2qk6VZokx0 Song on the background] "Greetings, everyone, good morning to all of you. Apologies for the late broadcast, there was a sudden issue I had to take care of that couldn't wait. Now thankfully it's all sorted out now so there is no need to talk more about it.

In fact, the less we talk about it all the better. If we can just pretend that never happened at all that would be just peachy. I am a profesional after all. A profesional who would never mix up personal affairs into his job.

Absolutely not. You all can trust on that.

But why dwell on nonsense when we can start the day at last? I hope our selection of music while you were waiting on your dear radio host was at the very least tolerable for all of our listeners. I didn't choose any of it so I can only hope. If they are any like the music that is on the background right now, then probably you all didn't had such a bad time.

Good. I am glad for that.

And the issue that is totally sorted out and that I totally didn't mix with my job can find her zippy cup on the left. Right there where I put it. Follow the direction of my hand, dear. That is right. Excelent.

Mmm. Let's start with the first order of business. I am sure that a good number of you already know, but for those who don't, today we are welcoming in our beautiful community a new resident.

Remember how we talked about the death of the old man Jenking? That poor man whose mental capabilities were already on their way out and made him say all kinds of crazy ideas at the pub? Well, apparently he wasn't just a noise maker.

He was also a grandpa. Which does explains the boxes full of baby stuff in the attic now that I think about it. Not that I ever saw them, by the way.

Anyway, because of that he had his own grandson that now has decided to come reside on the old house. I even had the pleasure of running into him during my morning stroll while he was bringing up some stuff inside.

I would have stayed there and talk some more to rely you more information, but as we established before, I had other things to take care of. I did managed to tell him to tune in with the rest of us, so hopefully he is listening right now.

Are you listening? Are you really listening?

Don't open that folder.

My friends, please give your warmest welcome to our new neighbor, Anthony.

I am sure he will be a valuable member of this community and won't cause any sort of problem for anyone. Hopefully he will remember our safety guide to keep himself safe.

Don't feed the raccoons, unless you have to, then denying them food will only make things worst. Remember to close your garbage can because nobody has to care about your business and, above all else, have fun! We love fun around these parts!

I hope you find that our beautiful town Hazbin Vale just about as beautiful and wonderful as we all do. There is a good reason why is that here where you can find your best friends…

What is that?

Oh, a phone is ringing.

Our own phone in fact!

I had no idea that we had a phone here or it was still working! Nobody has ever used it before. What a delightful surprise. Well, I guess since this listener took the time to give us a call, we should respond accordingly.

What button was it…

Oh, right, that one.

Hello and good morning, dear listener. You are on the air right now. What can your favorite radio host do for you on this lovely day?"

"Hi, sweetie. How are you and Charlie doing over there? I wanted to call you over, but you don't have your own cellphone so this was the best second option. Hope that is okay.

That is a lot of static right now. Hello, can you hear me?"

"We are both fine. I hear you perfectly well. Everything is fine and oh… yes, that is your dad. Do you want to…? Sure, why not. Just give me a second.

Alright, here we go. Dear listeners, for the first time in a long time we have a guest coming in the air with us today. Everyone be nice and pay attention to our very own small resident Charlie Morningstar. Say hi, Charlie."

"Hi, daddy!"

"Hi, duckling. How is my little princess doing?"

"I am good! I made a drawing of you and Alie like duckies!"

"You did? Aww, I bet it's the cutest thing I have ever seen. Make sure to show it to me when I go to pick you up. I am glad you are having a good time, baby.

Alastor, I just wanted to thank you so much for taking care of her so suddenly. It's my fault, I forgot that I had this reunion with the investors today and I didn't call the babysitter the night before so I really didn't have a lot of options. You really saved my life there."

"It's fine, unexpected things happen all the time. We have a lot of space here and Charlie is a good kid so she won't cause any trouble. Right, dear?"

"Nope! Alie wanted me to tell you that he gave me cookies and limonade! I liked the ones with strawberry yam inside."

"Off air, dear. You were supposed to say that off air."

"That is wonderful, duckling. I will try to wrap this up as fast as I can. What do you both want for lunch today? Alastor, you are coming of course."

"If you insist."

"Can I have burgers, daddy?"

"My baby girl can have anything she wants. Alastor, burgers are okay with you too?"

"Sure, sounds good to me."

"Then burgers for everyone it is. With some fries on the side?"

"Yes, fries!"

"Ha ha, I knew it. Alright, I will get them as soon I can. Right now I see that the bunch of old geezer coming back to the office so I should be going too.

I-I mean, the respectable members of the board! Who I totally respect and don't look a day older than 20!"

"Nice save, darling."

"Oh shush you. I will see you both later. Love you lots, Charlie, be nice with Alastor! Alastor… you should really do something about that static. I am sure that is not coming from my side. Yes, I am coming! Talk to you soon! Bye!"

"Bye, daddy!

The noise is gone now, Alie."

"Well, would you look at that. The issue was solved by itself and that means we don't have to talk about it ever again. How convenient.

You are rubbing your eyes a lot, dear. Do you have some kind of infection or are you sleepy?

That was a big yawn you let out just now."

"MMmmno sleepy."

"Well, you can be not sleepy on the couch over there if you want. Grab my coat if you get cold. I won't take too long here. I just need to take care of a couple of things and then we can get you home."

"Okay…"

"Good girl. Down you go.

That was our guest star of today, dear listeners, our very own Charlie Morningstar. Isn't she a doll?

But anyway, I know we are all eager to get back on track so…

Another call?

Well, this day is just full of surprises, isn't it? Wonder who that could be. Greetings, dear listener, you are in the air right now."

"Hey. So. What was that about being a professional that doesn't mix personal affairs with his job?"

"Oops! Clumsy me!

I accidentally pressed the button to end that call. But don't worry, officer Husker. I am sure that while you were wasting your time making that call only a handful of criminals got away. I am so glad to know that our tax money is being put to such good use.

You are still on time to catch them though, if you start moving fast. It could be a good exercise after eating all those donuts. If we are ever so lucky you might be able to find a manhole to fall into from the streets and get lost in for all of eternity. Wouldn't that be so grand?

If I do ever need advice on how to be a waste of air, I will be sure to call you.

Don't push your luck, old pal.

Ah.

Are we done with the unexpected interruptions now? Are people going to stop requiring my attention? Mmm, mister telephone? Some people can be so rude and then they just advantage of your good manners, dear lsiteners. You give them a hand and they take a shoulder. Must the suffering of yours truly never end?

I think we are good now to finally return to our schedule.

As I was trying to say before a much less wanted interruption, the cemetery as of today is also off limits for everyone.

Try to avoid it as much as possible and, like always, don't pay any mind to any sounds, no matter how loud or frequent comes from there. There is nothing to worry about at all. If you find yourself on the same street, change your ways. You will thank me later.

Your dead will be taken care of anyway. Just leave them where they are and walk away. As fast as you can.

The workers are working to get rid of some pests just to feed a few mouths that have been hungry for far too long.

The moon is smiling upside down for all of us. Let's be in our best behavior tonight and not turn it into a frown. The night doesn't want to claim anyone else, it won't need to, so let's try to come back to home early and have heavy, uninterrupted dreams.

Goodness me, is that really all the time we have left? Where did all those minutes go? I was planning to add a little something there, a bit of a friendly words for our new resident, but I guess it will have to be for tomorrow. For now, I can tell you this, Anthony.

Don't let your curiosity get the better of you. No matter how tempting. No matter how much you want to.

It could be the last thing that you do.

Now, for the weather…"

#appleradio #radioapple #duckiedeer #hazbin alastor #hazbin lucifer #hazbin hotel au #lucifer x alastor #alastor x lucifer #my fanfic

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ms-cartoon · 9 months

Text

So sorry for the wait! I wanted to take a break from Helluva Boss for a little while because I needed to focus on other things. I feel like I’m a little late for it, but I don’t care all that much. As much as I like to have fun criticizing Helluva Boss, I don’t want my blog to be completely centered around the topic. I mainly signed into this site for my art, despite the lack of attention it gets. So you probably won’t be seeing so much post about the show as much as you used to. It’ll probably only be a once in a while kind of thing. But anyway . . . .

For once, we actually have an episode where the plot is focused on IMP doing their JOBS since the Cherub episode! Bet y'all this won't last long.

Of course, this is another “Let’s shit on Moxxie” episode and it sucked a**. Moxxie was surprisingly annoying this whole episode. I feel like the writers just straight up ruined his character for me. It’s bad enough that his story arc is really repetitive where he’s a scrawny loser that nobody likes to him toughening up at the last minute, but with this episode being the same damn thing only with him being a big crybaby about it and so desperate for attention???? And from some petty teenagers too, like--

Plus, Blitzo stays an asshole to nearly everyone around him like always. And the fact that we’re supposed to sympathize with him this whole time because he’s in his feelings and is all boohoo because his sister don’t like him is even more ridiculous and irritating.

On the plus side, Millie actually has some character development to her, but not even that is satisfying. Actually, I think the writers may have just failed with that one and I’ll explain why later.

So most of this episode is mainly centered around Moxxie and Millie who had to complete a mission for a client while Blitzo is taking care of whatever he has his concerns about, being his sister, Barbie. So, he leaves Moxxie in charge and the two arrive at this summer camp where the client was killed. To disguise themselves, they dress up as the opposite of their genders and they pretend to be brother and sister.

One of the issues I had with this episode is that, like always, there are up to three plots mixed in one pot. We have Blitzo trying to search for his sister, M&M completing their mission without Blitzo, and Moxxie all up in his feelings about his insecurities yet again. Like bro- why can't we just save one of these for ANOTHER EPISODE. Honestly, it’s not like we need a Moxxie episode anyway. We already have enough of that, and lets be real, no lessons are learned. Like this could've been a two-part episode where in the first part Blitzo is looking for his sister and we get a flashback on their childhood and why their relationship is the way it is, and the second part would be focused on Moxxie and Millie on their mission while Blitzo is handling what he's handling. Even then, Moxxie's insecurities could still be a side plot to that second part. But we can't have NONE of that, because the writers just have to rush everything!!

-- So Blitzo is trying to visit Barbie at the rehab center. . . . through a window??? Like, why can’t you check in at the front door? As soon as he sneaks in, he’s caught by one of the workers there who tases him and tells him to go away.

So when Blitzo asks about Barbie before leaving, she tells him,

"She's got a job now. A life."

A "job" that consists of illegal drug dealing? Unless this woman doesn't know what Barbie is really involved in, she shouldn't be vouching for her as if she got her life together. And it's also pretty ironic because this is a REHAB Barbie came from. Either the rehab didn't do a good job of helping Barbie or Barbie is so irresponsible and inconsistent, she just left and is using drugs again. Considering the results of her life now, I'm going for the latter.

-- Also, if Blitzo hasn’t seen Barbie in months, why does he decide now that he wants to visit her?? Why hasn’t he been contacting her until now.

-- So Blitzo shows up at the office while M&M are taking care of a client. Moxxie tries to talk to him about it, but Blitzo keeps brushing him off telling him, “Now’s not the time Moxxie!”

Dude! Just get the stupid mission out the way and you could look for your sister then! You got PLENTY of time right after! I don’t care how frustrated you are, you’re their BOSS! What’s the point in you trusting Moxxie to get anything done if you just end up talking shit to him in the end just to be a jerk??

-- Moxxie: Don't worry sir. We'll find your killer, and give him what's coming to him . . . And/Or her . . . .Or they . . . .

Just say "them". That should've been the first pronoun that comes to mind when you're describing someone you don't know the gender to. I might just be overthinking it, but if this dragged-on line might've been Viv's way of showing everyone that she and the writers are acknowledging the LGBT community, then . . . No shit, ma'am. We get it, more than enough of your characters have a sexuality that is anything but straight. We can't even count!

-- So M&M makes it to the human world in gender switched disguises and this is where Moxxie starts to become a nuisance from now to the rest of this show. They're hiding in the bushes, and they spot an obvious suspect of the murder. Millie correctly assumes he was involved, but Moxxie keeps brushes off her assumptions saying,

"That's all circumstantial at best."

My guy . . . . He has a whole bag of CASH and DRUGZ the client mentioned, he's holding a DRILL he most likely used to sink the boat to drown the client, and he's sneaking in a shed with a cautioned look on his face!! HE’S OBVIOUSLY THE MURDERER!! You're so hellbent on wanting to take charge and here you are already f**king it up!!!

So now Moxxie is wasting his time associating himself with these stupid adolescents to investigate even though the murderer was RIGHT IN FRONT OF HIM!!! Like, he literally ignores him for the rest of the day, not even suspecting him in the slightest!! Aren't you supposed to be the smart one here???

-- Moxxie tries and fails immediately at this whole roleplaying shtick, lol! Nah cuz first off, how you just gonna barge in on somebody's conversation?? Much less approach these girls as if you know them?? You obviously didn't think things through. Also, seeing Moxxie act like a teenage girl is like watching SpongeBob in a dress with a southern accent.

Freakin' Bugs Bunny can pull off a better female disguise and he can act like ONE HELL OF A WOMAN. He'll make you question your sexuality without even trying.

What I'm trying to say is Moxxie is trying too hard with this roleplay and it's making me cringe.

-- Moxxie with try-hard valley girl accent: “I’m Moxxine and I’m the prettiEst gurl in my school! And all the bois want meee!”

“My favorite coloouur is hot-pink because normal pink is SOOOOoooo basic!”

“I gAt my first periAd last year... and it was sOOo heveey.”

“YEEou wAnnA be FrieeeENDs???”

Moxxine. . . . Do us all a favor and SHUT. UP.

-- Female Camper to Moxxie: “The f**k is wrong with your legs??”

One of the rarest of times in Helluva Boss where a human is actually questioning one of these characters’ very obvious demon features. But it doesn’t matter cuz they continue to act stupid for the sake of the plot throughout the rest of the episode.

-- Y’all see how these girls jump from making fun of Moxxie’s red skin to swooning over Millie and saying this-

“Look at how beautifully tan he is!”

Bish, both of them practically have the same skin!! TF!!!??

Also, I know Millie’s supposed to be a dude right now and the kids are supposed to fall for it and believe that she is a dude, but-

I don’t even understand the point of these gender-swapped disguises aside from them only to add comedy to the plot or something or to make it convenient for everyone.

Okay, let's just say this little shot of Millie turning around right here doesn't help. THIS does NOT convince me that Millie is a boy. Especially with them long AF eyelashes. If anything, she looks more like a tomboy with a pretty face.

-- I’m not gonna jump back and forth to Blitzo and his situation cuz I just don’t care and his little side plot seems unnecessary in this episode (or maybe just the other way around. This episode could’ve been about Blitzo and his sister). But the gist of it is that he’s asking around for Barbie’s whereabouts and he immediately gets violent if anyone even slightly questions him. And there’s even the part where he comes across a succubus (or incubus since he’s male) that has an asmodean crystal and he gets violent with him too, putting him at gunpoint to force him to open the portal to the human world.

First off, I get that he’s desperate to look for Barbie, but is it really necessary for him to hurt people and force questions out of ‘em?? Are we really supposed to be siding with Blitzo here???

Second off, why does Blitzo even bother trying to force a succubus to open a portal with the crystal?? HE ALREADY HAS STOLAS’S GRIMOIRE! He could just go back to the office and use it there! Plus, it’s WAY too much of a coincidence that the portal would immediately take Blitzo where Barbie is, not to mention them being in the same summer camp that Moxxie and Millie are in. It makes more sense for the portal to stop somewhere randomly and Blitzo would have to continue looking for Barbie like he’s been doing.

-- So everybody is just okay with Millie practically killing these children? Like I get its just for comedy, but . . . . they’re still adolescents. These staff members should be fired.

-- Millie is feeling so happy and joy-joy over these kids liking her that she sings a song about it, which bored the hell outta me, so I skipped it. Why is she feeling suddenly ecstatic over this sudden fame?? As if she’s NEVER been acknowledged for her strength and skills before when she already gets enough of that from her husband, Blitzo, and her family. And even then, she wasn’t even that excited over those acknowledgements. Why is it so different with a bunch of random human beings you’re never gonna see again. I don’t even think Millie should be happy over this anyway. It’s not like these kids even like her genuinely. All there is her (or in their eyes, his) pretty face.

-- Why is there suddenly so much merch of Millie?? It hasn’t even been a day yet!!!

-- Moxxie is sitting in the sidelines feeling jealous she’s suddenly gaining all this attention. He even tries to sing a song as Millie suggested that goes along the lines of

“Hey! Pay attention to me! I’m better and prettier than all of you and you should like me! Pay attention to me! ME ME ME ME ME ME--”

Which is so out of character for him, btw. Like- WTF am I watching right now??? It’s just beyond embarrassing! You forget this is CHILDREN you’re singing too! Also, not to disrespect Richard Steven Horvitz. He’s a good voice actor and he played some awesome characters I like, but he is NO singer and he’s not even that good. I mean, he can stay on note, but that’s it. I don’t know what fans are going gaga about. Of course, this stupid song doesn’t work, and everyone continues to put their attention on Millie, so Moxxie walks off and cries like a bitch baby. . . . . No, I’m serious! He’s hiding in a tool shed and balling like a little petty teenager screaming, “Go away! Leave me alone. I wanna go home.”

Like bro- Did you just forget why you and your wife are even here in the first place?? Why are you even feelin all bad about a bunch of kids not liking you?? There not even that likable enough to be gaining attention from. And Millie trying to coax him and get him out of his temper tantrum is honestly stupid and embarrassing cuz first off, she shouldn’t have to and second off, she’s basically giving him the same advice she’s been giving him since the harvest moon festival when she shouldn’t have to. You see what I mean when I say this is another Moxxie episode with the same damn plot??

Viv and the crew are really screwing with Moxxie’s character here, from him being an untalented loser to him crying because he’s an untalented loser and suddenly getting jealous of his own wife (who’s suddenly talented at EVERYTHING for some reason). Like its kinda hard for me to even look at him.

Millie tells him once again to just do what he’s good at and continue to investigate by playing to his strengths, in which he keeps failing at the rest of the week, getting eaten by bears and sharks, hit with by a volleyball, shot with bow and arrows, y’know just constant Moxxie torture porn as if we’ve haven’t had enough of that already.

-- Excited for a concert she’s suddenly getting involved in (okay I thought this was a summer camp. Why is there a concert involved??) Millie shows up and tells Moxxie about it, not even realizing he’s not feeling the best of moods right now. Alright. . . . I know Millie’s having fun here, but she cannot be that unaware that her husband is having a hard time.

Now this where we finally get to see Moxxie and Millie having a serious argument for a change. And it’s pretty interesting to see. I was actually hoping to see the day where we see M&M fighting for once to show they're not always a perfect couple, and now here we are. Still, how the show goes about their argument doesn’t exactly work . . . . for either of them really.

On Moxxie’s end, he’s upset and jealous that Millie is practically a celebrity to these kids and suddenly goes off on her for it. And he had the absolute AUDACITY to say this-

“We have a JOB to do, Millie! Meanwhile, you’re dancing for views!”

Um, EXCUSE YOU SIR- What do you mean, “We have a JOB to do”? You’re the one that wanted to waste your time associating yourself with these kids and investigate THEM instead of the actual murder who was right there under your nose!! You weren’t even worried about the mission this whole damn time! You were so stuck on wanting to get so much attention from these campers, you completely ignored it!

On one hand, you’re like, “HiiEEE! I’m Moxxine!! Everyone pay attention to me!” Not focused on your job AT ALL!

On the other hand, once you see Millie getting so much love, you’re like, “Millie!! We got a job to do! Stop paying attention to these people and focus on the mission!!”

Bro, this has NOTHING to do with Millie not being focused! You’re just jealous she’s getting the attention that you want. Like seriously- This is unrealistically so out of character for Moxxie! Why is he being such a hypocritical dick here???

On Millie’s end? She pretty much has every right to be upset with Moxxie because he was being unreasonably mad at her. But what she says here was completely out of nowhere!!

Millie: "For once, I feel like I . . . like I'm important!"

Frikin WHAT Millie!!??

What do you mean?? Since WHEN have you ever felt unimportant to anything?? Literally, WHEN was there a time when you felt inferior or second-best to ANYONE!! This entire show, you've been shown already to be much more stronger and talented than your freakin husband!! With looks, your fighting skills, and precisely everything else you've shown off this entire episode!! The only one who should be feeling unimportant, who HAS been feeling unimportant is MOXXIE!! From Blitzo whose been treating him like crap, to Loona whose also treating him like crap, to Millie's parents and everyone else in her family who don't even like him, to Striker showing off and trying to be better than him, his own damn FATHER, his ex-boyfriend, a ton of kids at a stupid camp-- Freakin EVERYONE is always shitting on Moxxie while Millie is getting the most acknowledgment. Are we sure Moxxie is the only one being selfish here??

Also, I can get that Viv, Adam, and the writers FINALLY gave Millie a certain character and development to her here, but it still doesn't work and they failed! Know why? Cuz once again, where did this sudden inferiority come from??!! Since when has Millie felt she was unimportant to anyone or unworthy of praise? She already gets enough love and praise from her parents. Blitzo always acknowledged her and is hardly mean to her at all. And of course she get's enough support from her husband who loves her more than anything and he always notices her. So honestly, she shouldn't be feeling unimportant to anything.

Y’know, Millie’s side of the argument here would’ve made sense had there already been an episode just about HER! It would’ve made sense if we we’re shown that Millie had once felt unimportant and that she was no one to be proud of. Then we would’ve understood her side of the argument. But instead, the writers suddenly just drops some angst onto Millie out of nowhere with no kind of depth or build-up. We don’t even know why Millie is feeling the way she never felt before because it was never acknowledged.

And what’s worse is that this is another MOXXIE episode where we’re meant to pay more attention to Moxxie and his little insecurities for the FIFTH DAMN TIME! Where Millie’s feelings and development are only used as a tool for Moxxie to make up his development. Similar to Octavia or Stella who are used as underdeveloped tools for us to sympathize with Stolas and make him out to be a good person when he’s actually pretty selfish and terrible.

Lemme just jump to the next topic before I get off track here.

-- Moxxie finally continues with the mission like he should’ve done already, and he bumps into Blitzo. Realizing Moxxie is still getting the mission complete after a week, Blitzo replies with-

“THIS is why I don’t trust you with dick, Moxx.”

Bro stfu! The first time Moxxie brought it up to you in the office, you told him to get out and handle it on his own. You probably should’ve expected something like this. Also, how did you not realize Moxxie and Millie have been gone for a week??? You couldn’t have been that hellbent on finding your sister the entire time you couldn’t notice anything!!

-- Moxxie (about Barbie): Do you know her?”

Blitzo: Do I know her- That’s my SISTER, f*ckface!”

Ay man! Dial it back with the name-calling!! How was Moxxie supposed to know that’s your sister, especially with the human disguise?

-- OH!! So Barbie can have a human disguise while being an imp, but with Blitzo, Moxxie, and Millie, Viv or any of the artist working on this show won’t take the time of day to come up with their human disguise!!?

Not that her human disguise is all that great anyway. Like, why are her arms and hands still the same, but with different skin.

-- As expected, Barbie turns out to be a bitch and unlikable. Like if you just take away her human form, you’d see a gender swapped version of Blitzo, and I’m not just saying that cuz they’re twins. It’s honestly disappointing, cuz I was actually looking foward to seeing her and was at least hoping there would be something good about her only for me to see her shaking her stuff to this minor. I mean- what the hell?? And NO Viv! It doesn’t matter if this boy is 18. Barbie is Blitzo’s age (around 30) with a huge age gap and it’s freaking wrong!! She even acknowledged that he was way younger than her when she confessed to manipulating him. She’s literally grooming this kid!!

-- How many times is Moxxie gonna fall in and out of being a great fighter!? He’ll be weakling at one point, to being strong the next, right back to being a weakling the next episode, being strong the next, and repeat. CAN HE FIGHT OR NOT??

-- I don’t like how we’re jumping back n forth to Millie wowing these campers. Can’t we just focus on the fight? How is she doing all these tricks while playing music at the same time? That’s tiring as hell! Since WHEN was she a musician!! And did this bitch just swallow a whole literal SWORD!!!!

-- Okay, I’ll give it to ya . . . I laughed at that one.

-- Blitzo: Barbie wait! Let me help you. . . . . you’re clean now.”

No, no she isn’t.

-- As stated above, Blitzo wants to reconcile with Barbie, begging her to let him help her and even suggested they eat somewhere, but she immediately turns him down, telling him she never wants to see him again and to never look for her. But WHY though!!? What happened between these two? What did Blitzo do that was so bad, she ended up hating him?? How’re y’all gonna keep introducing characters that have bad blood with another and NEVER explore it the rest of the episode?? You see what I mean when I say this episode could’ve been about Blitzo and Barbie and what went on with the two??? But instead what we get is Barbie just being on screen for less than 4 minutes!!

-- HOLY MOLY SHIT, VIV AND ADAM!!! What the hell is it with y’all and these incest jokes!!!

Yeah, I know they’re not actually brother and sister, but to everybody else they are! If they were just gonna end up getting it on in the end, why didn't they just pretend they were boyfriend and girlfriend or something?? And y’all really couldn’t wait until you were in private where nobody is around.

How y’all like Millerd now?

-- Blitzo: “Gotta be honest Moxxie . . . . not to bad for your first solo mission.”

Moxxie: *Gasp* Really sir?

Blitzo: “Nah. . . . You’re a f*cking disgrace.”

Says the guy whose sister can’t even stand him!!?

And why is Moxxie sittin there and on the verge of tears? Usually if Blitzo is talking shit to him, he would talk back. If not that, he would glare and growl at him. And Millie! Why is it that every time your husband is getting shat on, you just sit there??!! Actually stand up for him instead of just sitting and glaring.

-- These animators really can’t keep up with where to draw Millie’s beauty mark. It’s underneath her corner of her eye in one shot to it being on her cheek in the next. Sometimes, it right beside her lip.

So yeah, this was just plain DUMB! To Moxxie’s character turning into shit, to Millie’s character development making no sense, to Blitzo’s being an unsympathetic jerk, to Barbie being a groomer and a jerk.

*Sigh* I need a nap.

#helluva rant #helluva boss blitzo #Helluva Boss #criticism #Critical #helluva boss criticism #helluva boss critical #helluva boss critique #moxxie #unhappy campers

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dukeoftears · 7 months

Note

IVE NEVER CONSIDERED PAPYKAARD BEFORE THAT SOUNDS SO CUTE... actually now im curious what are some of your thoughts on rouxls ships/what his relationship experience is like

OhohoHOHO you have come to the right place!! I love rouxls ships here I will list every one I like and why I like it :3

Kingkaard: This can be two things, either King is a doofus dumbass who is annoyed at himself for falling in love with his servant while Rouxls is a self righteous dumbass and it's goofy shenanigans, or... you have the darker, more toxic variant that isn't cute or romantic (and SHOULD NOT BE ROMANTICISED PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF FUCK). I like both a lot, I usually go with the second because it gives my Rouxls a nice backstory (and also gives me an excuse to project my own past traumas) (I mainly do it to project) but with the sheer number of proshitters who romanticise it... :/ goddamn I hate when people romanticise ab*se. There is nothing cute about it. I remember I found a Kingkaard fic with that dynamic that represented what I went though so well that I had to take a break from my phone for a while. And the comments? Full of proshitters who found it "deliciously painful and want king to break him blah blah" :/ goddamn that made me take a second break

Getting off my high horse now, this post isn't where I rant abt proshippers or traumadump

Queenkaard: I LOVE THIS ONE SOO MUCH HEHE it's technically m/f in canon but I like hcing Queen as a genderfuck sapphillean and Rouxls as gay so it's achillean in my thoughts anyways X) Queen would take every opportunity to fluster Rouxls and would be genuinely touched with the gifts he gives her as a sign of his affection

oh yeah side note: Rouxls' love languages would definitely be gift giving and verbal affection :3

METTAKAARD: Two trans gay men who KNOW they're beautiful in love??????? I cannot explain how much I ADORE Mettakaard it is my FAVORITE SHIP OF ALL TIME... on one hand they are both so goddamn flirtatious with each other but then on the other you have them comforting each other as they show their flaws to nobody but each other.... oughfhfhf <3

Papykaard: TWO GOOFY PUZZLE BOYOS WHO COOK TOGETHER I feel like this is great in both the qpr and the romantic way, Papyrus would definitely decide to tutor Rouxls with puzzles and from there, Pap falls first but Rouxls falls harder <3 Papyrus would listen to Rouxls rant for ages and the same vice versa and they would cook together, and Rouxls feels so safe around Papyrus because Papyrus doesn't care about rank, or status, or how clumsy and dumb he is, Papyrus loves him for who he is and he doesn't have to pretend to be something he isn't anymore... Honorary mention to Swap Papykaard where you have swap papyrus and rouxls, I started this in a rp with my friend who writes swap papyrus and we actually found it has a really cute dynamic <3 Rouxls would definitely look after Paps when he doesn't feel the will to get out of bed, and swap pap would always listen to his infodumps and it's just CUTE

PAPYMETTAKAARD I love polycules and here you have PAPYKAARD AND METTAKAARD AND PAPYTON AT THE SAME TIME?!?!!! Sign me up!!

Swatchkaard: "I hate you" "I loveth thee too <3"

Those are the main rouxls ships I like, but a few honorary mentions: Seamkaard can be cute with the right dynamic, I like them as qprs especially :) Jevkaard / Nosuit can be silly and fun too, I don't actively ship it but I do enjoy the ship

#Rouxls Kaard #Kingkaard #queenkaard #mettakaard #papykaard #augh #i love them #Anyways proshippers dni #I'll do a full rant on proshippers someday maybe

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snek-eyes · 6 months

Note

Hello! What do you mean that Crowley is cold in the flashback with Job? Like, in a mean way? I always found he acts a little cool and demonic to keep up the charade knowing him acting demonic and uncaring will better veil the fact that he didn't kill the goats and doesn't intend to harm the kids since we know he'll be in big trouble if anyone finds out. And he knows everything will be fine, and that the kids won't get hurt and that the animals are safe as well so I figure that's a big factor in him seeming so cool/lacking compassion in the scene with Sitis. It reminded me a little of the scene in S1 where he turns the paintball guns into real ones and acts all cool and careless about it until begrudgingly admitting that nobody gets shot 🤔

Oh! And I forgot to add: the cool, rather uncaring demeanour Crowley has with Sitis is the same he first has with Aziraphale when he "kills" the goats and when he tells him he longs to destroy Job's blameless children. Until he realizes Aziraphale isn't on Heaven's side with this. Anyways, sorry for the ramble and I love reading your meta!

(re: this post)

Hi there! Never any need to apologize for rambling to me, discussions like this are fun, and you are drawing some very good points. And it gives me an excuse to put more thought into this!

To clarify, by "cold" I'm not saying Crowley's being mean, but he's definitely not being nice. Crowley is a "kind but not nice" big picture kinda guy, and he's got a lot of plates to be juggling here.

This is the one real time we see Crowley "at work." Like you said, acting as a demon. But not the bwahaha type of demon Aziraphale keeps bringing up with his 'avaunt!' and 'I bring a warning!' over-the-top angel shtick.

Crowley's got a wall up, by necessity. He comes across sort of... aloof and impatient, verging on condescending at points. He's steering this interaction by his plan and can't be stopped by how these people are suffering in the meantime.

And yet he's doing all he is with Job's family because he cares. Crowley thinks it's not fair that Job's being put through this, that God still has Sitis's faith even now. How much of that is the specific situation in front of him, and how much is him projecting his own trauma isn't exactly clear and I think kind of irrelevant. They're both at play. Crowley I'm sure would love to pretend he doesn't care about either.

But these humans are simultaneously A) in his way and B) not at fault. Crowley is a big picture guy: He does his best work on a large scale, he's fond of humans in general but they're often too much for him one on one. He'll support sacrificing one life to save the whole world (And yet, he won't personally pull the trigger) (But he will get frustrated when Aziraphale won't either)

Basically, Crowley can be frustrated by individuals enough to not be comforting while they're upset, to turn them into newts, etc. while also able to see on the broader scale that being annoying to him personally isn't reason enough to deserve truly awful things. Also there's some element of not wanting to let himself get attached because if he cares he will care.

That's a fascinating character trait, especially when you contrast him with Aziraphale who also has a big heart, but often gets distracted by that big picture of how things Should be.

I have more to say about your second message, because I actually think there's an important difference in his attitude with Sitis & Job vs how he's confronting Aziraphale there. But I've been turning this part over for long enough, so I'll release it into the wild.

#vee replies #Anon and on and on #good omens meta #v watches good omens #job flashback #a companion to owls

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razorblade180 · 4 months

Text

Thief’s Gambit

After a routine patrol of Vacou, Carmine sits on a rooftop, quietly on a rooftop. Normally she’d be ready to return home, but tonight she was given an anonymous request to wait at the Kingdom’s central location. Not one to ignore suspicious events, Carmine didn’t dare ignore the request. She’d get her answers soon enough. After all, there was someone already approaching behind her.

???: Such a goodie two shoes. It’s really impressive.

Carmine:What do you want, Mona?

Mona:Abrasive as ever. I thought you would’ve been a little surprised to learn I sent the request. After all, I really can’t stand you.

Carmine:Which is why I’m not surprised. *turns around* So what? Is this where you pull your daggers out and “settle the score?” I have to warn you I am incredibly tired and won’t hesitate to arrest-

Mona:Blah blah blah! Let me speak god damnit! You long winded types are so annoying. I’m here to ask you for a once in a lifetime favor. And before you say anything, no, it has nothing to do with a dumb relic sword.

Carmine:Wasn’t thinking about it until you said something. Not like I have access to it anyway. Cut to the chase already.

Mona:Later on tonight, I will be meeting with Aero and officially be resigning from his little gang. Do not tell him I’ve met with you. Soon I shall-

Carmine:No.

Mona:What? I haven’t even told you my favor in full yet!

Carmine:My opinion of you is rock bottom. Even so, you’re no idiot and do think of other’s feelings. It’s the leash Aero has on you that stops me from arresting you repeatedly and you know that. So…leaving the gang only means one thing. You’re planning on doing something completely out of line. You don’t want them associated and you don’t care about going to jail.

Mona:Heh, wow. There really is brain behind those annoying scarlet eyes. Too bad it only works for justice and is only half right. I don’t plan on rotting in a cell. If- When I pull this off, it’ll mean you’ll never see me again.

The air between them fell silent, Carmine’s curiosity piqued. Though she wasn’t sure that was good, given how Mona casually walked closer with her hands behind her head and stopped the the building’s ledge to look at the kingdom.

Mona:May favor is simple. I am going to do something horrible, and I need you to look the other way.

Carmine:I think you forgot how I spend my days making sure horrible things don’t happen. Plus I’d never make a promise with something that vague.

Mona:Ugh, I can see why you don’t have friends. Listen, I’m not telling you to not do your job. As a matter of fact, do all you can to save the innocent, but only that. Don’t come after me. Keep your pretty little eyes on the situation at hand and be the good little girl people think you are. Although we both know despite my “goodie little two shoes” remark, you’re more than willing to raise a little hell for the sake of humanity. It’s the only fun thing about you.

Carmine:You’re doing a really bad job of asking for favors.

Mona:Come now. Don’t pretend you don’t love the idea of never dealing with me again. You hate me as much as I hate you.

Carmine:I couldn’t care less about you honestly. You’re a broken person who’s no good for the people around her. Not that it’s your fault for being so…you. In fact if there’s anything we can agree on it’s how your mother should be put through hell and back.

Mona:Heh, fair enough. You saying we might’ve actually enjoyed each other’s company?

Carmine:Hell if know. As it stands, you’re like an ill dog in the Pound. Nobody can afford to take you in and nobody will be surprised when you suddenly aren’t around anymore.

Mona:Won’t stop a certain someone for being sad though. Perhaps I haven’t been phrasing this correctly. Don’t count this a favor to me. Consider it as doing Aero one. Like you said, nobody can afford to take me in and I personally never planned on turning my life around. Shouldn’t you be doing everything possible to cut me out of his life as quickly as possible?

Carmine:….

Mona:Look, I can’t promise you completely safety of civilians, but this kingdom has no shortage of heroes and huntsmen. All I can tell you is this, be near the slums at eight at night. Not s minute before, understand? I’m sure between you, your mother, father, and Aero’s parents, no innocent people will die. After all, I’m not trying to hurt innocent people.

Carmine:But you are trying to hurt someone?

Mona:Duh. It’s not like you don’t do the same to further your agenda. Let me fulfill mine and the rest is history.

Carmine:…I refuse to promise I will turn a blind eye. However, I won’t tell Aero. And maybe…I’ll drag my feet a little.

Mona:Hahaha! Works for me I guess. You really are stubborn, but not unreasonable. You have an annoying way of knowing the best course, even when it isn’t popular. I guess that’s the one thing I admire about you.

Mona took off the scarf that symbolized her affiliation to the gang. Honestly she was never the biggest fan of it considering it was inspired by the very girl who stood before her. It’s only fitting it should return to her.

Carmine stared with unblinking eyes at Mona’s gesture. Strange. The notorious bandit held a twinge of pain in her eyes. Maybe…no, Carmine didn’t allow herself to even fantasize about a different outcome between them. In the end, some things are simply beyond anyone’s control. Carmine took the thin, blue silk scarf into her custody; at the very least she could treat this request seriously no matter her final decision when it comes to pass. Carmine tore the scarf in half from the middle and wrapped a portion around Mona’s arm.

Mona:What are you doing?

Carmine:For better or for worse, you were once apart of something bigger. I see no reason for you to leave empty handed. I’ll find a use for the other half eventually.

Mona:Whatever you say. Welp, see ya never, probably. At least not in this scorching dump. Remember, this talk never happened. Oh, one final thing, a token of wisdom from your elder. You might want to consider working on your people skills.

Carmine:…..

And just like that, the notorious gem of the slums fell back into the city lights. Carmine couldn’t even see the woman anymore. She’d be lying if she said she felt unbothered. No good comes from a person as chaotic as Mona getting serious. All Carmine was certain of was despite her own gifts, this was the last time she’d see that messy blue hair in Vacou ever again.

#rwby #rwby au #rwbabies #mona paulo furem #carmine arc rose #rwby rosebud

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declanscunt · 11 months

Note

do you have any headcanons about kenstewy post-finale?

BOY DO I‼️‼️‼️ THANK U FOR ASKING STRAP IN

okay. in alignment with the shows values and characterization (as in, if we continued observing these characters post gojo sale), i think stewy would fully ignore kendall until he called. he might text him a couple times to make sure he was alive or whatever but he’s gonna be partying and living his best life. also, to stewy this is the best outcome ever. he gets his money (i don’t know enough about business to know if he stays on as a shareholder but either way i think he doesn’t lose anything from this. except for a few years of his life thanks to roy shenanigans) and KENDALL GETS OUT. which is what he asked him to do way back in season 1. stewys so happy and content post-finale literally cat that got the cream. AND he didn’t alienate kendall bc he still voted with him. anyways, kendall’s gonna ghost (schrödinger’s suicide) and go off the rails! for sure!! because this is not something he can come back from, there’s no more pretend demons to fight—logan’s dead and the company’s out of family hands forever there isn’t anything he can do. but colin is not letting another roy die on his watch no way so unfortunately for kendall he’s gonna live. and eventually he will find his way back to stewy and stewy will offer him sex drugs whatever to fill his time and the logan shaped hole inside of him. the end.

alternatively. NOT in alignment with jesse armstrongs vision. kendall goes to stewys place immediately after the events of the finale and becomes his best boyfriend whose new purpose is to make stewy feel good forever and ever and ever. they go on vacation and make pancakes and waffles and kissssssss. kendall and stewy sitting in a tree. k i s s i n g.

my personal headcanons include: they get caught out by paparazzi who have lots of fun speculating about them until they literally just start making out alll over the place which ppl r into for a very short period of time before they get annoyed. and then mostly nobody cares anymore except a subsection of insane gay people who wanna see old men yaoi as they should. i think kendall starts up a flop rap career which stewy wholeheartedly supports and indulges, and then he starts a record label and signs a billion flop acts but somehow lucks out with one really talented musician who manages to boost kendall’s reputation even though his job at the label is literally Do Not Do Anything Or Say Anything Or Touch Anything just let the professionals work Please. eventually a producer convinces him to record and release L to the OG which blows up. kendall records an album that’s mostly covers with some originals (that are actually kind of good) and goes on tour. the tour flops because he runs out of steam halfway through and becomes manic again but we can’t have it all. stewy is there the whole time enabling him of course.

also i wanna believe kendall would patch things up with his kids and they all hang out with him and stewy. my pipe dream headcanon is that sophie and iverson somehow become radicalized and vow to give away all their generational wealth and become nepo baby activists or whatever. all the roy children turn out to be gay. etc. this got away from me it was meant to be kenstewy whoops

#kenstewy #succession #succession spoilers #asks #anon

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broflovski-brah · 10 months

Text

south park high school headcanons

TW for drinking and smoking (i have t watched the post pandemic special, so i don’t quite consider if canon..? I dunno though please don’t come for me-)

Eric Cartman:

Doesn’t give a shit about school tbh

I mean he’s probably a solid C/D student

Probably sits next to the teacher, lmao

He’s a pretentious little bitch, we know this, and he probably just harasses kids all the time

Like if there’s a presentation or something he’s probably pretending to be asleep or something

(especially if it’s Kyle)

Probably makes fun of everyone for their class choices

”Oh of course Kahl is taking economics. Those damn Jews” or “Kenny, why are you taking home economics if we all know you’re poor as hell and don’t have any food in your trailer to make this shit anyway?”

Was probably that one annoying kid who laughed during sex ed

Flips the teachers off when they aren’t looking

Is probably an angel to all the teachers but to the students, he’s a massive dick

Probably tried making Kyle fail his classes by hacking into the website

They only knew it was him because for comments/observations tab he put some ‘stupid Jew’ spiel

He’s dumb as shit sometimes

Bullies freshmen

Probably started Freshie Friday

Hes the kind of person to spray Axe Body Speay everywhere and has probably made multiple people sick because of it

Failing Gym

Mainly because he never makes up classes and refused to swim in ‘contaminated water’ (probably aimed at the girls or Kenny)

Doesnt date through high school

because nobody wanted to date a neonazi manipulative asshole

Probably didn’t do any clubs

He probably joined the Gay Straight Alliance (run probably by Big Gay Al) and ripped on everyone there

Got bored and never went back after he ran out of jokes

Honestly he’s probably to lazy to do any clubs after school

He doesn’t like staying in school after he’s already

Probably has gotten suspended a few times

(likely for putting a cherry bomb in Kyle’s locker)

Im kinda lost on Cartman lmao

Stan Marsh

Honestly? He probably drank a lot in high school

Kyle often had to take care of him and scold him for drinking

Stan’s probably a B/C student

Probably studies better in a group than alone

Thanks the stars that Shelley is a senior and will leave him alone

(though I do think she somewhat mellowed down, though she still threatens to beat the fuck out of him sometimes)

And Sharon probably helps him when she isn’t busy

But he feels awkward going to her for help

Randy is awful to study with

”So if I have x amounts of condoms and y amounts of-“ “Fuck this Im calling Kyle”

Kyle is his study buddy when he can’t turn to anyone else

which is pretty often

He pays pretty good attention in class

Probably still dating Wendy tbh

Stan definitely wears like zip up hoodies and ripped jeans and such

Probably bleached the lower half of his hair

it didn’t look good

His hair’s greasy af i’m calling it

Its fluffy when he washes it but that’s a rarity

Uses 3 in 1

wears gloves everywhere

lowkey germaphobe

Probably joined some sort of after school activity

Probably some sort of helping the community club

Tbh he failed chemistry multiple times

Hes trying though

Graduates with probably a solid 3.2 GPA

(idk how colorado does it i’m just going based off of where i live)

Probably goes to college and then drops out after two years

Works a few jobs because he wants to get out of the house

Overall good student, 7/10

Kyle Broflovski

That rare breed between nerd and jock

Hes probably one of those athletic kids getting awards and stuff all the time

Def on the swim team during the fall/spring and the basketball team during the winter

Also does a bunch of those community clubs (things that you would join to get into NHS)

His parents are probably super strict about grades

Theyre all about ‘keeping a good example for Ike’

So he usually beats himself up if he gets a grade below a 95

Speaking of, he’s probably top of his class ngl

Very smart

Studies better alone and probably isn’t the greatest at helping others study, but he’s trying

Honestly probably gets a little less insecure(?) about his hair and doesn’t wear his hat as much

Still barely takes it off but he’ll leave it off during sporting events

I know that thing smells like ass/hj

Probably wears a lot of flannels and t-shirts

Has reading glasses (they’re thick rimmed and brown)

Either that or he wears contact lenses but glasses are more convenient for him

Doesnt like wearing them because they remind him of his cousin Kyle Schwartz

Probably in all honors/AP/college courses

Gets academic awards a lot

He probably did band for one year to fulfill one of his miscellaneous credits (he played clarinet)

He’s probably one of the sweeter kids though, sports help him work through his anger issues

Still snaps at Cartman a lot though

Sometimes doesn’t take good care of himself between sports and studying

So Stan whips him into line

Probably had one partner through high school, doesn’t really play around much

Either that or he doesn’t date at all, he’s just too busy

If he were to date it’s be in junior/senior year, maybe sophomore year if it was the right person and they weren’t needy or too demanding of his time

Probably graduated with an advanced diploma

Goes to some ivy league school

Solid 4.0/4.1 GPA

Majors in math and minors in science

Kenny McCormick

Ngl he doesn’t give a shit

Probably failing some of his classes, has a few B’s, some D’s, he’s really scattered when it comes to grades

Probably skips class sometimes when he doesn’t feel like going

Still wears that same parka

He’s still taking home economics/hj

Probably sneaks into the girls changing room as Princess Kenny 🤭

That one kid who has a crush on all his female teachers

”Guys my average is a 69”

Hes the glue to keep all the boys together but tbh I feel like they drift apart and go their own directions during high school

They probably have like-game days on Saturdays though

He wants to keep the group together though because they’re probably more family than his own family (minus Karen)

Still dies a lot

Probably tries to die so he can get out of doing tests and such

Is the reason they don’t allow costumes at Halloween (he was def a playboy bunny)

Probably takes a lot of non honors/no college courses

The latter even less so because his family can’t afford it

Graduates with a barely passing GPA and goes to community college

Probably ended up dropping out tho

But he still makes sure to keep in touch with all the boys (minus cartman but he keeps in touch with Butters)

Butters Stotch

(speaking of-)

Honestly? Solid B student

Is probably still the most naive of the group, though he does stick up for himself now

Doesn’t like being called Butters much but Leopald is worse

So he either goes by Butters or Leo

Probably has a knack for history??

Honestly doesn’t do all honors courses, proabbly does honors history and maybeeee honors English

Sucks at math

His parents ground him a lot because of this

So he ends up with a tutor

He goes to the girls’ sleepovers as Margerine sometimes

Grew out of his Hello Kitty obsession :(

(…tbh he was probably into Pusheen at some point-)

Anyway

Probably has a solid 3.5 GPA or something

Doesn’t graduate at the top of his class but he isn’t the dumbest person in the room

Probably is involved in the theater department

Honestly very artsy??

Probably takes a lot of art classes because he loves it so much

Majors in it!!

Probably minors in history too :)

Hes pretty nice to everyone in his classes and maybe even dates in high school..?

His parents don’t like it though

And he can’t go out much because he gets grounded a lot still

Overall pretty good!!

Tolkien Black

Probably still dating Nicole

Salutatorian

Probably competes with Kyle a lot because of academics

Hes in the band

Plays trumpet

Of course Cartman says shit about this all the time, I’m calling it

Him and Kyle do butt heads a lot but honestly I feel like they’d end up being pretty good friends

Still cringed at his old TikToks

Hes probably in most AP/honors classes

Probably majors in music in college?

Or maybe he minors in it

Most likely the latter

He’a your go to study person

He’s pretty nice about it too, he doesn’t shame you for getting the answers wrong

He’s that one kid who has house parties a lot when his parents aren’t home

Mainly because Cartman kept calling him a pussy and saying he had no balls

Doesn’t have alcohol though

Him and Nicole were probably voted cutest couple

Them or Tweek and Craig

He hangs out with Clyde a lot and helps him with his courses

Hes probably class president tbh

Or maybe vice president

His parents donate tons of money to the school

Hes pretty level headed and calm during tests and quizzes

He’s really focused and motivated in school

Overall solid 3.9 GPA

Probably only behind Kyle by very little

And he’s okay with it

He probably goes to some hardcore Ivy League school like Harvard or Yale or some shit

Probably uses music as a side hustle in college to help pay for his classes

He was hellbent on paying for colllege alone, or mostly alone. He didn’t want people thinking he was only at said college because he was rich.

Pretty good overall, 10/10

Clyde Donovan

Clyde…is Clyde

Hes a dumbass

A lovable dumbass big a dumbass nonetheless

Scored so low on his SAT the first time he took it

Cries to Tolkien all the time because of his grades but when Tolkien tries to help him he gets distracted and leaves

He’s that one hella sporty kid though

Definitely captain of the soccer team

Probably in the Gay Straight Alliance for ‘shits and giggles’ but then finds out he’s pan, lmao

I feel like him and Bebe are really tight

They go shoe shopping together

Cries when he loses Kahoot

Uses Chat GDP to talk to girls 🫢

Honestly is probably like-weirdly good at math but nothing else

Calls Kyle and Tolkien his algebros whenever they’re grouped together

(i kinda hdc that he’s in honors math too with kyle and tolkien)

That honors math course saved his GPA

honestly it’s probably a 3.0 or a 3.1

Hes not completely dumb though

He gets a lot of sports awards and stuff

Kinda headcanon Clyde to have dyslexia?

So maybe that makes things a little more difficult for him

Studies better in groups

Gets easily distracted tho

He’s a horrible test taker

Cries whenever he can’t figure out the answer

Overall, he’s kinda mid

He probably goes to college tho

He stays in college for two years before he graduates

He was probably their star football player, so they were probably sad to see him go

But academically, he’s not great

Craig Tucker

Science geek

Mainly Earth Science but any science is basically a second language to him

He’s honestly probably good at English too?? like he’s a really good writer

Hes probably in honors English and Science

He combusts when it comes to geometry and map work

He’s bad with dates

Like he can hardly remember his anniversary with Tweek or his own birthday half the time

He’s pretty good at helping people study if it’s one on one

He’ll bully some people harder than others when it comes to helping them though

Goes after Clyde a lot of the time whenever he comes over for extra help

”Of you would leave I would be sooooo happy.”

He’s nice with Tweek though

Helps him not to panic during tests and such, probably gives him a lot of fidget toys too

(most of which are space themed)

Speaking of, I do kinda headcanon Craig with some kind of neurodivergent condition like autism or something

I kinda feel like space would be his special interest

He mellowed out a lot after middle school, but he still flips everyone off

Thats usually the extent though

His locker is an absolute mess, I already know it

The teachers for the most part like him

He pays attention and such

Probably wears reading glasses, they’re thin though and he doesn’t wear them a lot

Eric third wheels him and Tweek’s study dates a lot too

He studies online using things like Quizlet and stuff

Loves reading

He’s probably snuck out of class a few times, but doesn’t do it often

Solid 3.7/3.8 GPA

Probably in the top 20% in his class

Goes to a pretty good college, probably on the west coast like in California or something

He’s pretty good in school

Tweek Tweak

Horrible test taker

Probably has to go to a different room, which just stresses him out more

Tbh Eric probably got him to get high once or twice

It did calm him down but it also freaked Craig the fuck out

Especially because this was during lunch

Tweek was fine, he was just extraordinarily sick and Craig was not happy

The teachers don’t really like Tweek

They think he’s a distraction and a ‘bad influence’ for other kids because of his freak outs

He hogs the coffee machine at school istg

I kinda headcanon Tweek to have acid reflux too?? So his stomach ends up gurgling in class and making weird sounds and the teachers get mad-

And this freaks him out even more because he thinks he’s dying

”Why is it doing that?! Why?! Did someone poison the coffee?! Did the underpants gnomes come back?! GAH!”

He’s hella good in gym class

Tweek on the track team??? anyone???

It helps him burn through some of his anxiety

He probably has a 504 too after his parents kept getting calls about his anxiety

Goes to the school counselor a lot

He probably brings fidget toys to class a lot and often has to give Craig his phone so he doesn’t end up getting hooked in on something some celebrity said and then start freaking out

He’s probably really good at English

Reading helps him forget about his anxiety for a bit

He always has to double/triple check to make sure he hasn’t missed anything

He uses his agenda religiously

Its probably stained with coffee and smells like a mixture of coffee and honey and sweat

His hands sweat and shake a lot during tests

He’s probably barely passing math, Craig helps him through science

He’s alright in social studies

His lowest grade is probably a 75

Craig and Tolkien help him out a lot too

I feel like he studies better one on one though

Too many people in one group makes him feel easily overwhelmed

He probably graduates with a 3.4 GPA or so

Goes to college in New England, he thinks city life will calm him down

Spoiler, it doesn’t

He probably drops out after a year or two before applying somewhere on the West coast to be closer to Craig and some of his other friends

English major and art minor??

I feel like he’s really good at art too

Art helps him vent in a healthy manner

Good student, not great, but good

Wendy Testaburger

Honestly? She’s actually low key smart

She was probably third in her class

She’s very good in math and english

She probably takes all the super hard classes too to ‘challenge herself’

She probably invites all the girls (maybe Princess Kenny and Margerine/hj) over for study date sleepovers

They never end up studying

But it does make for a pretty good time

Shes a really good test taker, but she probably ends up being too hard on herself too

Stan probably (reluctantly) asks her for help a lot of the time too

Social studies is the thing she excels in the most

Especially women’s history

She’s probably in a lot of clubs too, like the community service clubs

Shes secretary of her class, methinks

(I think Tolkien would be president, Kyle would be VP, she would be secretary and Bebe would be treasurer)

Cartman ran but they found out he rigged the votes

She’s all for being just and fair, so this pissed her off to no end

She needs glasses, her eyesight worsened after middle school

So freshman year she got glasses

I can see her doing girls wrestling

Shes probably a somewhat sporty kid, not like Kyle sporty but sporty nonetheless

She’s kind of a geek too lol

I feel like her and Kyle and Bebe are actually pretty good friends

They play chess together lol

Shes actually really sweet to like, new kids and such-probably shows them around

She gets some muscle after wrestling for so long

She also probably does track and field

I can see her being really good in long jumping

She kinda sucks at science though

She takes French

She graduates with a 3.85/3.95 GPA

Probably leaning towards the latter number

She probably goes to the west coast as well, probably somewhere in Nevada or California as well

She does pretty well, she goes to a really good school and probably majors in History and minors in English

I can see her being an English:History teacher

Probably for younger kids though

She stays on Twitch with Bebe and Heidi for hours istg

Shes so sweet, i love wendy tbh

Bebe Stevens

I know her mom is like the dumb blonde stereotype, but I feel like Bebe would be somewhat smart

She’s probably not top of her class but that’s not to say she’s not smart

She honestly is probably in the top 10% of her class

Her and Wendy and Kyle probably do study sessions together

She’s really competitive, so she kinda gets mad if Wendy gets a better score than her lol

Shes really artsy

Took AP art

Shes probably in AP Social Studies and honors English as well

Shes fine with reading, she doesn’t like it, but she’ll do it

Shes really good at math tho

Shes not so good at science, similarly to Wendy

So usually Kyle takes the lead on science during study sessions

She’s that one kid to be like ‘tall the substitute teacher is so hot!’ unironically

Shes hella hood at sewing

She’s probably gonna end up going into fashion tbh

She’s oddly good with money

Treasurer of her class

She probably helps organize prom and homecoming and stuff

Doesn’t date, she crushes around though, but she never actually asked anyone out

She’s really intense ngl, she probably taught Wendy how to fight

She’s on the cheer team

She isn’t a prick though, she’s probably one of the most bubbly cheerleaders out there tbh

Shes also in art club

Maybe does theater too?

She’s in band and choir, she actually has a really lovely voice

She can play flute really well too

Shes pretty smart, solid 3.7/3.8 GPA

Graduates and goes to a New England school, like in New York or Connecticut

She majors in Fashion Design and minors in Art

Heidi Turner

She’s not the brightest

Not to say she isn’t smart, she just isn’t very academically inclined

She probably takes a lot of the mythology classes and such

Shes really into star signs and crystals

Her and Craig started a ‘Space Club’ and actually got a few members to join

She kicked Eric out tho

She’s hella hood at Math and English

The rest is history

Sges probably grown a lot since the whole ‘Cartwoman’ incident

And she��s a lot kinder to people now

She’s weird, but a good kind of weird

She gives away crystals as a gift a lot to new freshman

Shes in the choir!!

She actually has a really amazing voice, she’s been doing choir for years

Shes that one senior that all the freshman flock to because she’s the kindest

She stands up for them where they’re being bullied too, tells them to be wary of Cartman

Shes hella short (4’11’’)

So she often gets picked on like ‘aw, someone went into the wrong building!’ or something stupid like that

She’s so sweet though, she’s that one friend who offers to help you with your homework and then just gives you all the answers

She graduates with maybe a 3.6 GPA or so

She probably stays local tbh, for college

Either that or she would go down to New York or smth

Probably gets into a decent school and majors in music

Wait no, she majors in psychology and minors in music

She becomes an art and music therapist, she loves helping people out

i love heidi 🤭

reblog >>>>> liking

#south park #headcanons #south park headcanons #eric cartman #stan marsh #kyle broflovski #kenny mccormick #butters stotch #clyde donovan #craig tucker #tweek tweak #tolkien black #wendy testaburger #bebe stevens #heidi turner #headcanon #south park school headcanons

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fern-writes-whump · 9 months

Note

Fernnn I’m back with more promptsss

“Caretaker no! It’s not worth it-“ *gets tazered*

“She’s not looking to good, hero. Better make a choice fast. Her… or the world?”

(Used as bait trope. Caretaker/hero x whumpee villain whumper) all of our favorite things. HAPPY WRITING

YES this is great thank youu ✨✨✨ I ended up slightly off script here but I hope you like it <3

warning for violence and captivity, please tell me if I should tag more stuff ! ft generic Hero, Villain & Supervillain bc I still haven't made super ocs lol

---

Villain was starting to lose what little sliver of optimism had rubbed off on her from Hero. She was kneeling at the top of a skyscraper, in a fucking shock collar, and with a gun pointed at her head. Not to mention the concussion Supervillain's men had most likely caused her on their way there. All to say: she wasn't looking good and she sure as shit didn't feel it.

"Did you really think I wouldn't find out about this rat, Hero?"

Ah, that too. She wasn't stupid, of course double-crossing Supervillain couldn't last and it was a miracle she managed it as long as she did. But it wasn't like her line of work allowed her to put in a two weeks now, did it? She wanted out, and Hero said he could help her if she helped him first. And what a great deal that was.

"You don't have to do this- let her go!" Sweet, brave, dumb Hero. She never understood why they always bothered with that, trying to reason with a man that was holding the whole city hostage.

Supervillain predictably replied by simply cackling, looking at Hero like he was a toy that was starting to get dangerously boring. "I can't do that. Forgiveness really isn't my style…" He drawled out twirling the collar's remote in his left hand. "What kind of message would it send if I spared a traitor?" His voice was dripping with venom now, his whole act depended on him seeming cold and uninterested but she knew her betrayal had stung him deep.

"What do you want?" Hero asked through gritted teeth, way too meek compared to his usually boisterous persona. He was only looking at her, just like she was only looking at him. He was tired. Nobody could tell but her but the fight had dragged on for hours and no kind of superpowers could save him from exhaustion.

"Oh! That's the fun part, Hero." Supervillain's tone was amused, mocking, alarmingly cheerful. "I already have what I want." He cocked his head to the side looking at Villain and repositioning his gun to the side of her head, making sure Hero had a good view. "The only question is if you'll make things more complicated for yourself"

"Now Hero, there's two ways this can go." The silence stretched for seconds that felt like hours. Villain tried to ease her breathing, she couldn't think of a single way this would end well for her. "Option number one. You drop your weapon and let me carry on with my plans. I'll let her go and turn a blind eye as long as you stay away from my… endeavors. Who cares about a few thousand civilians anyway?"

Hero was growing restless, just on the verge of doing something stupid and impulsive. He stayed perfectly still, glaring daggers at Supervillain and forcing himself to hear the rest of his threats before throwing himself at him.

Supervillain grinned at Hero's display of self-control, he could see the way his muscles were tensing and it amused him to no end knowing he was scared enough to think instead of acting for once. "Option number two." He carried on, taking his sweet time. "You try and save the day as you usually do, follow your moral compass and all that crap. But…" He pretended to stop and think, looking almost genuinely puzzled. "…Hero, are you really sure you're fast enough to stop me before I blow her brains out?"

She swallowed. She looked at Hero, but he wasn't looking at her anymore, he was looking somewhere just over her head. The gun. There was no point in wiping her tears in the state that she already was in, not that she could have with her hands bound behind her back. "Do it."

Hero's face went from panicked to confused and terrified within seconds. She didn't give him time to react before she was shouting at him. "Run!" She was calmer than she ever thought she'd be in a situation like that. She had to come to terms with the idea of getting hurt or even killed years ago but nobody could really predict how they'd react knowing they were seconds away from leaving this world. "You can still make it in time to stop it!"

"You know I'm not worth it, Hero! You can't let-" Her words were cut short by a surge of pain coursing through her whole body. She crumpled to the ground, shaking and seizing, her vision abandoning her immediately from the pain. Hero was screaming her name but she couldn't hear him over the ringing in her ears. While she was catching her breath, Supervillain turned his attention back to Hero.

"Choose!" He screamed, cocking the gun.

Two gunshots rang out almost simultaneously. The first thing she registered was how loud it was, then she saw Supervillain fall to the ground beside her.

Within seconds Hero was by her side, cursing and apologizing all at once, he was holding her, pulling her against his chest. Her vision was still blurry and she felt so lightheaded. At some point, he must have untied her because she was looking at her hand on Hero's cheek. She wiped a tear off of his face and distantly wondered why she had left a red stain behind instead.

#hehe #i had another version of it but it wasn't working i'm always so sad when i need to cut stuff #whump #whumpee #whump prompt #whump scenario #whump trope #caretaker #whumper #whump writing #whump fic #hero and villain #hero x villain #fern whumps #ask

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