WAX POETIC

Send ‘wax poetic’ for Gale to work some poetry; his muse is you: still accepting.

Gale doesn't delight in being anything less than dependable. No, he has to be wicked. Or rather, at least a storm. However, when his bones do ache and when his sinew burns, when the crawling of his flesh tears foul with blight, it's a relief, he confesses, to know he can stumble. The ground will not meet him; he'll plunge no abyss.

He hisses with injury, Dronia once more guiding him along. Rain spills from the skies, thunder chittering with bitterness in the chill of the night, but he, unalone, will little complain.

No, ever is she stalwart. And always is she true. And Gale, waist rent, thinks you've struck me more than once like our northernmost star might, the cradle of your side I would find unfailing. Carefully, his friend finds cover within a spring-sprawled thicket, and gingerly, she lowers the dear wizard to the flowers beneath. See? She is something, a pillar with whom he'd always place his trust. She peels at his robes, hands careful as they study his geysering, rubied wound, and with you, there's no shadow I can't endure. No shadowy midnights. No spiteful gods.

Dronia fashions him, touch too kind. If I'm to trust nothing else, it would be you. Behind the grey skies, Polaris glimmers.

You can't die. Please don't die!

AO3 Link - Bungo Stray Dogs Selfship / Yumeship Masterlist

Fandom: Bungo Stray Dogs

Characters: Osamu Dazai, Annette 'Ann' Droste-Hühlshoff (OC)

Pairing: Annzai (Ann/Dazai)

Words: 1,713

Content Warnings ahead!

Hurt (& Comfort)

Death (mention)

Angst

If you have a hard time handling these topics or they just make you uncomfortable, I advise you to not proceed!

When returning home it was almost like any other day. Ann had returned from their shift at Café Uzumaki. And of course they had spotted Dazai there, as it was almost a daily tradition at this point. Insert a few exchanges as well as glares from their end as he was just smirking at them and being ever so amused and it was the regular day. Nothing had seemed really off at the time and they had no reason to suspect otherwise. It was honestly a relief when he left, them being able to concentrate yet again. His attitude can be a little distracting if they were completely honest, given he does not necessarily stop glancing at them at every opportunity. They could always notice him staring their way and it was slightly irritating. Not in a flustered way, no! Maybe… Ugh, honestly it was always so confusing… 

In any case, soon work came to an end and of course they left as quickly as possible. Even if it meant seeing Dazai again, they had gotten used to it, being in the same living space and all. Plus they didn’t mind all too much if it was not during work. Even if he could be rather irritating at points. And besides, they could also always look forward to seeing Ole again! He was there too after all and needed the necessary care! And the quicker that was done, the quicker they could get to their actual job – Writing! And they had been excited to get started as soon as possible, especially since it has been a little while! However, their mind would steer into a different direction once entering the small apartment. 

They had opened the door, about to yell the usual “I’m home!” out loud, expected to be greeted by their little kitty who would always tap over and jump eagerly. Yet none of that would happen. Even before they even had opened the door they heard the desperate meows of Ole right then and there. This made them shut the door open in one go and scream: “What happened!?” instead yet they didn’t have to look for long. The moment they were met with a sight they would have never imagined. They let out a sudden gasp as their eyes went wide. They were silent, not saying anything at first. Now one would not jump to the conclusion Ann went in an instant yet honestly… They were, given how Ole was meowing from the top of his lungs. He had even turned his head right to his owner, looking at them with somewhat teary eyes. He was clearly distraught, or at least worried as he kept poking somewhere… Against Dazai’s body.

The guy was laying there, flat with his face on the ground. He didn’t move, not even an inch, nor did they hear a noise from him. It was so unusual to see him like this and thus they couldn’t help it, dashing over from one moment to the next, right next to the body. It had just gotten over them with no reason. They should have known better and yet… At this moment, they just couldn’t think rationally, at all. “Dazai!? Ey, Dazai!” They were screaming, somewhat terrified as they stared down at him before moving their hands on his back, shaking him. “That’s not funny you know! It’s not funny at all! Speak up already! Hey!”

They continued shaking him, over and over, yet he did not move on his own. With each push they became more and more terrified and their stomach started to turn. The thought of it… To not hear his voice any longer. Never seeing his smile, his grin nor his smirk. Never feeling his touch from time to time, even if it was a mere poke… The thought of losing this was something which was unbearable to them. Sure, they admit that they did complain about this behavior a lot but… It made things lively. It made things interesting. It made things fun. Yeah, fun. Live was a little more fun with him around. If he had not been there, who knows where they would be. They felt alive and technically… He may as well be the only company they would have. Outside of Ole of course but he is a different case altogether. Dazai though…

Honestly, had they taken him for granted? They hated to say it but… Maybe. Maybe they had gotten too used to him during those two years. And just now they were afraid… They were fearing something. The thought made them shiver and they noticed how slowly everything was building up yet again. The memories of everyone being taken away from them… Was this their life? One after the other, disappearing from one moment to the next with no chance of returning into their life, ever? Was this how everything was going to be? First their father, then their mother and now… Now…

“H… Hey… You can’t be serious…” Ann suddenly sobbed. Honestly, they did not know what had overcome them just now. It hurt, this all hurt. Their chest was in so much pain, as if something had just shattered. They could hardly breathe. Their tears were just flowing down and they could barely control themself at this point. They just wanted to scream and yet it was only enough to let out a shouting whisper. “S… Stop it… Dazai… Please… Stop… Y… You can’t die… Please! I… I’m scared! W… Without you… I— Guh… You can’t! Don’t die! I’m begging you! Don’t…” 

Ann had closed their own eyes by then, just mumbling along as they had been overcome with all sorts of emotions. They wanted to clutch onto something, someone even, yet couldn’t. Well, the only one they could was out of reach. They didn’t see anything and were too absorbed to notice anything going on around them. They were just begging at this point, begging like crazy… ‘Don’t die! Please! I will do anything! Just… Don’t leave me alone! I don’t want everyone who I love—’

“Heh… There, there. You can stop crying now.” A soft tone made them suddenly open up their eyes in one go, though they could not see much. Their view had been a little blurry, staring at something… Yet they couldn’t see what exactly. Yet they went silent the moment they felt a hand on their head, their tears freezing and their mouth closing. “I’m fine. You can stop worrying now.” 

The voice was soothing, so much so that their breath started to come back. Something calmed them down about it, assured them even and made their tears dry. Finally they moved their head up and thus their gaze met his. It had them caught off guard, a sudden gasp escaping their lips. It was him. He had sat up and was now looking at them, ruffling their head a little while smiling. But it was not the equivalent to a shiteating grin, no. It was calm, reassuring, and soft. He was not playing around, not this time. He really wanted to comfort them, it seemed, and they took note of it. It was weird for Ann to see Dazai like this and yet… It calmed them down, more than it probably should have. 

It was only thanks to that where they acted out of a sudden reflex. Honestly they felt like smacking his face with the open palm of their hand. They wanted to yell at him, scream how much of an idiot and a jerk he is for pulling such a cruel joke on them. It hurt. This all hurt. They were upset, furious even. And yet… They didn’t have the energy to do it. Because despite all of this, despite the pain they had endured for this short moment… They were rather relieved if anything. He was still there, breathing. If he had tried a stupid method it most likely failed. He was alive and well, right in front of them. And they didn’t want to ask for more. Thus they dared not to say a word, only stare. 

Their arms were so close to reach out and yet they held it in a little longer. Their hands were shaking, or rather their body was… Because what would happen if they embraced him right then and there? Would it contradict everything they have ever said into his face? Or would it not change anything between them? It was tempting yet Ann was scared… Too scared. What if this was a little too close? What if this was showing something they can’t show him under any circumstance!? What if they grow closer, because of one embrace which happened in the moment!? It was a silly thought, perhaps even stupid. But the fear of getting too close made them resist in the end. Though they were at the brink of changing their mind… So close to just giving into this moment…

However, there was no chance to pursue this change of mind. Because before they knew it they spotted Ole jumping up, hissing and meowing in an unusual angry tone. Next thing Ann saw the cat pounced right on Dazai and pawed him non stop, over and over while letting out the angriest meows they have heard from his tiny mouth thus far. “Wha– Ow ow ow! Ok ok! Stop stop! I’m sorry! That hurts! I said you can stop! Hey!” They also heard from Dazai’s mouth, how he was begging for mercy at this very moment… Defeated by a cat.

The sight was something else. enough to make Ann sigh on the spot. The thoughts just now were almost forgotten and they only witnessed Dazai getting beaten up by a cat… Well, not beaten up but defeated. He even struggled to get this angry kitty off him. And needless to say, they weren’t surprised in the slightest, only watching. “Dummyzai…” They mumbled, first gazing away for a moment before their eyes wandered back to the sight, watching the cat and the man fight it out. It was… Relieving in its own right. Yeah, this is how things should be and that was the only reason they smiled, even if for a short moment. “You’ll be fine, won’t you?”

Hey Fay! Happy blogiversary again!

1, 5, 8, 12 & 34 For the ask game if you don't mind!!

Hi Lucy! Thank you again <3

1. Do you daydream a lot before you write, or go for it as soon as the ideas strike?

When I'm writing from a prompt, it usually depends. Some combinations are interesting enough that I'm ready to just write them and see where they go.

For other fics/oneshots, I spend a lot of time daydreaming about where I want it to go. Then, sometimes an idea hits and I just have to write it. So that's a roundabout way of saying it's a mix!

5. How many wips do you have?  What fandoms/pairings are they for?

Just did a quick count, and I have 17 documents sitting in my WIPs folder. Most are just a few paragraphs laying out what I want to write for when I have the time/am in the mood to work on them.

They're mostly all Saeyoung x reader, a couple that I want to write for him and a future OC (hehe), one for GE Saeran and one for Suit. I'm not sure how many will make it out of WIPs but we will see!

8. Post an out-of-context spoiler from a wip.

I was hoping someone would ask this!

She just needed a minute away from the beeping, the clipped tones of nurses, from the smell.  It was doing nothing to soothe her nerves. Luckily, on her way in a few days ago, she spotted a door marked [VISITORS’ BALCONY]. She had been meaning to use it

12. Do you outline your fics?  If yes, how detailed are your outlines?  How far do you stray from them?

I usually start with some sort of a rough outline. I write the scene that I want to be the main point of the fic in some detail, then write a really rough draft of the scenes leading up to and following it.

Very often I end up doing something completely different to my initial, or completely changing the set up of the scene, but the outline is always helpful to steer me in the right direction.

34. How much of your personal life/experience do you include in your fics?

That being said, the reader in my fics often shares some traits with me. It's easier (and more interesting in my opinion) to have the reader still be a person with a loosely-defined personality of their own. I definitely use some of my experience to shape the way they react to different situations.

I also write Saeyoung to reflect some of my life experiences and thoughts. He is a character I heavily relate to and especially in regards to his identity and attachment to people I like to add some of my own experience in.

Also, I've definitely drawn inspiration for some of the interactions I write from real experience from previous relationships.

Congrats on 100! If I’m not too late to request, I’d love #2 with Lukanette, please.

2. “I think I’m in love with you and it scares the hell out of me.” 

Thank you so much for the prompt, angie! I hope you like it :3 

Accidents Happen

Read on Ao3

It was an accident.

Ladybug was taking back Luka’s Miraculous, and her earrings were beeping frantically. He hurried to get his bracelet off and back in the box, but he fumbled it and they both landed at his feet. As he crouched to pick them back up, her transformation dropped and he saw her flats—Marinette’s flats—before he was able to slam his eyes shut.

She swore under her breath and he felt her crouch beside him to slip something out from under his fingers.

“Did you see anything?” she asked, her tone all business. He heard her pack his Miraculous away and the box snapped shut. All he could do was nod. How had he never noticed that Ladybug’s voice matched Marinette’s? There was more authority, more confidence, sure, but it was unmistakably her. He felt her fingers brush his hair away from his eyes, but he kept them dutifully closed.

“We’ll talk later, Luka.” Her tone had softened, and before he could say anything, he felt the soft brush of her lips against his cheek. His eyes flew open, but she was already gone.

He saw Marinette several times over the next two weeks, but she was always with her group of friends, or with Kitty Section, or she’d catch his eye and go pale before changing direction and marching away from him.

He didn’t mind waiting. She said she’d talk to him, and he knew she would when she was ready. But it still stung to think that she was purposefully creating reasons not to talk to him. To avoid him, even. In an effort to distract himself, he worked out his frustration as he biked around town delivering pizzas.

He stood to get more leverage on his bike and pedaled hard, not particularly caring where he was going, just so long as he was moving. No one else knew. She hadn’t had to talk to anyone else about this, yet. Who knew what she was feeling or working through right now. Although he wished she would work it out with him instead of alone. Why did she always take everything on herself? Didn’t she know he was there for her and he only wanted to help and—

He braked hard to avoid biking directly into traffic, but he’d been going too fast and his balance was off. He was flung over the handlebars onto the sidewalk. His palms and forearms scraped against the pavement as he caught himself. His helmet hit with a crack and bounced before he skidded to a stop.

He hissed as he rolled over and sat up. Good thing he’d been wearing pads and a helmet, but it still didn’t prevent him from feeling like a bug splattered across a windshield. He looked back at his bike. Pizza was scattered everywhere. His bike was upside down. The front wheel was still spinning at an odd angle and his basket was crumpled. Thankfully he’d left his guitar in his locker at work today. That was another good thing, at least. He groaned and lay back against the sidewalk. This day could not get worse.

“Luka?”

Correction. This day could get worse. Because Marinette was standing in the door of her parents' bakery and had just seen him eat pavement.

“Oh my God, Luka!” She rushed over to him, and her hands were a flurry around him, a thousand little touches that went like electric shocks straight to his heart. Her fingers on his forehead, his arms, his cheeks, and the whole time a worried frown plastered on her face.

“I’m okay.” He smiled and tried to stand to prove it, but he hissed as soon as he put weight on his right foot.

“No, you’re not.” She slipped her arm under his to support him and steered him towards the bakery.

“Marinette, I have to finish my shift and—” She silenced him with a look.

“Your boss will have to understand.” There was that tone again. Ladybug. He was too stunned to argue anymore. Instead, he let her lead him inside and set him down in a chair inside the bakery. She unhooked his helmet and laid it aside, pushed a phone into his hands, and ordered him to call his work before she flitted upstairs.

By the time he’d called, explained, and hung up, she was back with a first aid kit. She started tending to him quietly, quieter than he’d ever known Marinette to be, and she was just starting to scare him when she paused in wrapping his ankle and looked up at him.

“I’m sorry I’ve been avoiding you.”

His breath caught in his throat. He started to say something, but she held up a finger to ask him to wait. He nodded and closed his mouth again.

“I was trying to find the right time and the right words, but I guess the right time found me, didn’t it?” She smiled and placed his newly bandaged foot back on the floor. “I know…” she bit her lip and looked away. “I know that you know.” She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. “But there’s something else. Something I need to talk to you about, especially now that you know, and it’s important.”

He nodded to show her he was listening. She glanced around the empty bakery before she sighed.

“I’ve been avoiding you because…” she was twisting her fingers around each other and a blush was creeping up her cheeks and he wanted nothing more than to reach out and hold her hand.

“Because I think I’m in love with you?” Her words left her in a rush. He wasn’t even sure he’d heard right. “And it scares the hell out of me, Luka, because, well, because I have responsibilities and now you know what those are and I wanted to tell you for so long, but what if—I mean, it’s dangerous for me to be attached to anyone. Especially someone who also holds a Miraculous, and especially especially someone who knows who I am but…”

Her eyes traveled back to his. “But I can’t help it,” she admitted softly, “I can’t stop thinking about you. Even when I was trying not to talk to you, I was wishing I could talk to you. And every time I see you, my heart just pounds out of my chest and I didn’t know how to tell you, so I avoided you. And I’m sorry. And now you’re hurt and I’m telling you and I didn’t want it to be like this, but I couldn’t wait anymore. So there it is.”

He let her words settle into the silence between them. He’d heard her, of course, but the actual words were taking their sweet time to sink in.

She tucked a stray strand of hair behind her ear and she was starting to frown. “Luka? Will you please say something? You’re kinda staring at me.”

Was he staring? Was he even awake? No possible way this was real life. Although when he tried to move his right ankle, it certainly stung like real pain. He winced as he shifted forwards to take her hands in his.

“Marinette?”

She gulped and nodded.

“I think I might have hit my head when I fell.” He chuckled and squeezed her hands. “Can we back up just a little bit? Back to the ‘you think you’re in love with me’ part?”  

She fidgeted and he let her pull away from him so she could pack away her kit and keep her eyes down. She’d talk when she was ready. He was patient; he could wait. He focused on his breathing while he gave her space to think. Finally, she stopped moving and looked back up at him.

“I don’t want anything bad to happen to you, Luka.”

He smiled and scooted out of his chair to lower himself to the floor next to her. He pushed the kit aside and tipped her chin towards him so he could look in her eyes.

“It would be worth it.” He stroked her cheek gently and her blush sprang up under his touch. “I would crash my bike every day if it meant you would tell me you loved me again.”

“You did hit your head,” she muttered, but she was smiling and her cheeks were getting redder by the second. “And besides, that’s not exactly what I’m worried about.”

“I know.” He pushed her hair aside and tucked it behind her ear again, exposing her plain black earrings. Even though he knew, even though he’d seen, he still couldn’t quite wrap his mind around it. Marinette was already amazing and brave and kind and now she was also the heroine of Paris. He let out a soft laugh. “You are the most extraordinary girl, Marinette. And to be honest, you scare the hell outta me, too.”

“I do?”

He nodded. “Absolutely.”

“You don’t seem scared.”

He held out his hand and gestured for her to give him hers. She laid her hand in his with wide eyes and he watched her expression as he brought her hand up to his chest to lay over his racing heart. He swore it picked up a beat or two when she splayed her fingers across his shirt.

“I’m terrified,” he admitted softly. He had to pause to take a deep breath because he was starting to get light-headed. This day had started as one of his worst, and her admission had turned everything on its head. Including him, apparently. He chuckled softly. She never failed to surprise him, that was for sure. “I have what’s probably a sprained ankle,” he continued,  “maybe some road rash, I’ll be covered in bruises tomorrow, and my bike is wrecked.”

She started to frown and pull away, but he pressed his hand against hers to hold her there.

“And I’m still the luckiest person alive right now.”

Her eyes snapped back to his. He paused again to let her process before he wrapped his hand around hers to hold it. “I’m in love with this amazing girl—” he smiled when her breath hitched— “and she just told me she might feel the same way. If you asked me, I could get up and tap dance right now.” She giggled and his smile grew. He loved that sound. He loved her. “Marinette…”

He tucked his finger under her chin again to angle her lips up. Slowly, tentatively, he leaned forward to rest his forehead against hers and closed his eyes. “I can take the bike wrecks,” he whispered, “and anything else if it means I can be with you.”

He waited, eyes closed and heart open, for her to consider. After a few moments of excruciating silence, her breath fanned across his lips and then she was pressing into him hungrily. Her hands tangled in his hair and he wrapped his arms around her to pull her closer, ignoring the small sting as his raw forearm scraped against her jacket.

A not-so-subtle throat clear at the door broke them apart. Luka opened his eyes and found Marinette’s mom crossing her arms and surveying the two of them sprawled across the bakery floor. Luka’s face flamed, and he waved sheepishly. Marinette untangled herself and helped him up, and they both blushed when she slipped her arm under his again. He might’ve leaned into her a little more than he needed to, and he couldn’t seem to stop smiling.

“Luka was hurt,” Marinette rushed to explain. “His bike and his foot and I—”

“I saw his bike outside.” Her mom was starting to smile and she gestured to Luka to sit back down. Marinette helped him into his chair. “Your dad will be home soon and if you don’t want a full 12-course sweetheart banquet, I suggest we keep the rest between us.” She winked and went behind the counter, leaving Luka and Marinette relatively alone again. She caught his eye and they both let out an embarrassed chuckle.

“We can always say it was an accident,” he said, smirking.

She shoved his shoulder playfully before she sat next to him, definitely closer than necessary. His arm fell easily around her shoulders.

They were quiet for a moment while they both let their conversation and the resulting kiss sink in. He started humming absent-mindedly while he rubbed small circles on her shoulder with his thumb. If she wanted to talk about it, she would. He was patient. He could wait. Heart racing, barely breathing, fearfully hoping—he could wait for her.

"Luka?" she asked hesitantly.

He smiled as he looked back at her, snuggled into his side like she belonged there. "Hmm?"

She reached out to worry at the zipper of his hoodie. "Is it really that simple?"

He sighed and gave her shoulders a small squeeze before he moved her hand over his chest and laid it over his galloping heart again. He tapped out his rhythm on the back of her hand until it finally slowed. She dug her fingers into the fabric of his shirt and leaned into him.

He laid his head back against the wall and smiled as he sighed again, this time in deep relief.

"It can be."

the first of many ii - seijoh third years

the first ‘i love you’ is a moment documented in every relationship. it’s special, an open and honest revelation of your feelings for each other.

warnings - the occasional swear word

word count - 1.7k

PART 1 | PART 2

you had just finished working in the library and decided to head over to the gym, knowing that your boyfriend was likely to still be there. ever since their most recent loss against shiratorizawa (and more importantly ushijima), he had been pushing himself harder and harder

you slipped in quietly, taking a seat where you were far enough from the court to avoid any stray balls ricocheting your way

for a while, you just sat and watched, occasionally checking the time

it was clear to you that he was overworking himself. sweat was rolling down his face and he was favouring his left leg

you watched him serve again, brow furrowed in concern

it was clear to you that he was struggling. you could see through the cracks in his facade, the pain that hovered just beneath the surface

it broke you. you couldn’t just sit there as the man you loved destroyed himself

the man you loved...

holy shit. you were in love with oikawa tooru

getting to your feet, you made your way over to him, making the conscious choice to stand in front of where he was serving the ball from

you reached out, grasping his wrist that held the volleyball

“tooru, i think it’s time to go home.”

he avoided making eye contact, instead choosing to move you to the side. he ignored you, going to serve the ball again

“jesus christ, tooru. why are you ignoring me?”

he spun around to face you, the usual affection missing from his gaze as he regarded you

“just go home. i don’t need you watching over me. if you’re that worried, you don’t have to watch.”

“are you fucking kidding me?” your voice came out harsh, the words scathing. “are you really telling me to leave? even if i do, i won’t be able to stop thinking about you, to stop caring. i love you, tooru. why can’t you love yourself enough to stop this obsessive behaviour?”

“what did you just say?” his words were soft, his whole demeanour changing as his eyes widened. he stared at you. the volleyball fell from his grip

you flushed. “it’s not important. let’s go home. i’ll help you pack up.”

you began to move away but he leaped forward, grabbing you by the wrist, biting back a wince as he put too much weight on his right leg

his hands reached up to hold your face tenderly. “please, y/n-chan.”

you avoided his gaze, eyes studying the floor. “i love you.”

he pulled you into a hug, crushing you against his chest. “god. i love you too. i’m so sorry... let’s go. i think practice is over for today.”

honestly, he was probably very casual about it (if he stressed about his feelings, there was no way he would have had the courage to confess to you)

you were over at his house for the weekend as his parents were away

when you woke up, he was still asleep so you had decided to go down to the kitchen to make breakfast for the both of you

after rummaging around in the cupboards, you had finally located everything you needed and got to work

by the time iwaizumi shuffled down the stairs, the table was set and you had just finished making the both of you a cup of coffee. he wandered over, wrapping his arms around your waist and kissing your neck

“morning haji.”

he hummed in response, his head resting against your shoulder for a moment longer before he pulled away

you turned to face him, handing him his coffee, which he took. “thanks y/n.”

you took his hand in yours, pulling him towards the table, where you had set up breakfast

the whole thing was oddly domestic. he could picture waking up to you everyday, cooking with you, just being with you... the thought of it made him feel warm and fuzzy on the inside

you turned to him, a wide grin on your face as you pulled his chair out for him. you inclined your head and winked. “your seat, sir.”

it was then that it hit him. he was in love with you. the words tumbled out before he could stop them

“i love you.”

you blinked up at him slowly, the chair forgotten

“i love you too, hajime.”

“really?” he questioned, closing the gap between you and taking your hands in his. his eyes scoured your face, finding the answer in the way you gazed up at him

“yes.” you leaned up, brushing your lips against his gently. once. twice. just as you were about to pull away, he leaned forward, capturing your lips once again and deepening the kiss

“good. because i love you and i don’t plan on letting you go anytime soon.”

you were out on a date with your boyfriend. it had been a while since you had hung out somewhere away from school, and you both needed it

“i feel like we’re in one of those romantic comedies you’re obsessed with, issei,” you teased, squeezing his hand which held yours across the table. he rolled his eyes at you before looking back at the dessert menu

you already knew what you were ordering. you’d come to this restaurant with your family before and were dying to be able to taste that cake again. it was like a little slice of heaven. you felt your mouth watering at the thought

matsukawa knew all too well the direction your mind had wandered. not only had he had to put up with you constantly talking about it for a good two weeks after you had first tasted it, he had picked this specific place because he knew how much you loved it

as you waited for the dessert to arrive, you just talked, trading jokes back and forth. it was easy, as comfortable as always. you really were everything he had ever wanted in a s/o

finally, the dessert arrived and you tucked in eagerly

“you know what i really love, issei?” you asked, spearing another piece of cake with your fork. he had an inkling of what you were going to say but decided to entertain it

“no. do tell.”

“cake” you declared, waving the piece you had just picked up with your fork. “especially this one.”

“want to know what i love?” he asked

“if you say cheese-filled hamburger steak...” you pointed your fork at him threateningly. he laughed, shaking his head. you nodded, again using the fork to shovel cake into your mouth

“i love you.”

you spluttered, almost choking on the cake you were trying to eat. “christ! you can’t do that to a woman while she’s eating. i almost had a heart attack.”

“what? i can’t tell the woman i love how i feel?”

“not when she’s eating!”

“duly noted for next time.”

BONUS:

“i love you too,” you said, tilting your head to look up at him as you walked home. he gave your hand an affection squeeze. “i know i didn’t say it back to you then. but i do love you. like a lot.”

“i know.”

he pressed a kiss to the side of your head as you continued to walk.

it had been a rough day today. you had struggled to understand what you were being taught in class, opting to skip lunch in favour of working in the library in attempt to wrap your head around the content

when the final bell rang, you found yourself back at the library and this is where hanamaki found you two hours later

you were so immersed in your work, you didn’t acknowledge his approach, furiously scribbling out your fourth wrong attempt in a row. you mumbled angrily to yourself, “for fucks sake.”

as you started on your fifth attempt at the same maths question, he began to pack up all the books you weren’t using, placing them in your bag before he turned his attention to you

the holding your pencil was shaking slightly, likely due to a combination of frustration and mental exhaustion. his hand moved to cover yours, gently wresting the pen from your grip

you blinked at him, his face slowly coming into focus. he was worried about you, that much was obvious

“come on. you’re coming back home with me. my parents won’t mind, and i’ll call your mum and ask her if you can stay over.”

you nodded, reaching over to close the textbook and your workbook, shoving them back into your bag as hanamaki called your mum. you were vaguely aware of him explaining why to your mum, finally hanging up after he’d promised to take good care of you

“come on. your mum said it’s okay.”

you took his offered hand, walking beside him as you made your way to his house. the conversation was lighthearted, steering clear of what had occurred earlier. he figured you would tell him when you were ready

and tell him you did. he could cheer you up with ease and had the ability to make you view the issue in a different light

once you were sat on his bed, you just broke down into tears, stumbling over your words. “its just been such a shitty day. nothing makes sense anymore. i just keep hitting a brick wall and there’s nothing i can do about it. clearly i’m too stupid to understand. i’ll never get into uni at this rate. how can you stand to be with such a failure takahiro?”

he knelt down on the floor in front of you, his hands reaching up to cup your face. “don’t say that. why wouldn’t i want to be with you? you’re amazing, supportive and passionate, not to mention a great kisser. i love you.”

you let out a sob, hands clutching at his shirt as he wrapped his arms around you. you head rested against his shoulder. “i love you too.”

he pulled away, brushing a kiss against your tear-stained cheeks

“now, let’s get out of our uniform and change into something more comfortable. dinner will be ready soon and then we’ll come back here and watch a film. sound good?”

you nodded, already beginning to look through his wardrobe for your favourite t-shirt of his to wear

One Dirty Cop and One Bad Girl

TMNT X Fem Reader

Very NSWF! Loved your snippet you made for me @lotus-and-the-terrapins, it was so dirty but I loved every second of it. I wrote this one for a return for you and your sexy leader! Hope you love it! I am surprised I wrote this much in one go! <3 <3 <3 Hearing the sound of the punch in machine beep at the end of an exhausting, bone aching shift, you couldn’t help but let out a heavy sigh, you were relieved of your duties from your shift and you were finally able to go home. As you exited out through the doors, a warm gust of wind blew against your messy ponytail, causing a few stray strands of hair to follow in its direction. The air itself was sticky and humid, and being in scrubs didn’t help much as they clung on to your skin. You were just wanting to go home, take a nice long hot shower and curl up on the couch with a glass of wine. Thick heavy clouds hung over the city covering almost half of the buildings that surrounded the block. It looked like it would storm again tonight, you trudged your bag over your shoulder and walked towards the parking lot in the back of the building to reach your vehicle. Once inside you plopped down into the seat with an exasperated moan, your body thanking you finally giving it a much-needed break. If only he were here right now. He could make the pain of the day just melt away with just a simple loving and strong embrace. You missed him. It has been a few weeks since you both last were able to see each other and the desire of you two being together, joining bodies was becoming unbearable now. But after two years of a relationship blossoming into something beautiful, filled with love, excitement, trust, and discovery each moment spent with him was like being in a whole new world where you two could just forget about everything that was around, no stress, no work, no patrol, and no one else….it could just be you two and you two only where the love can flourish. But since being a hero of the city is no easy task and can be time consuming with your schedules, these last few weeks have been hell without being with him. And the same could be said for him, even though you both sent texts when you had a chance it just wasn’t enough for you both…but tonight he had something in mind to make up for lost time. You knew his schedule tonight and he would be on patrol late. He was recently offered a position with the NYPD, and of course to be able to still be leader of his brothers and be an officer of the law, it made him feel like he could do so much more now since he was an honored for saving the city from the alien invasion that happened a few years ago. Seeing the way, he smiled at you when he was given his key, you felt so happy for him, he always deserved this after all the incredible things he has done. In a world where no one would understand him simply because of his species and abilities, it seemed he was dealt with a bad hand and cursed forever of the thought of being alone. But all that thought and negativity seemed to have faded away when he met you on that fateful night saving you from a mugging. You were left astounded by the way he moved and how well toned his whole body was, you almost thought it was just some dream that you hoped you would of never woke up from. As the relationship went along, he lead you into a world that you had never experienced before with any other male you had ever been with and treated you like you were the only woman that was left on this blue planet. But the best thing that you could of done for him was to bring down his insecurity of himself and given him the one thing he always had wanted, to someone to call his own and treasure for an eternity, regardless of being a giant mutant that could easily make a fatal move with one slash from his glistening katana. Just the thought of him entering your mind, you already felt the heat beginning to burn in your core and were just about to take care of it, till you shook your mind clear hearing another car starting up in front of you as a colleague was backing up her car leaving for the night. Another sigh left your lip as you turned your car to start before backing out of the spot before driving off into the smoggy night. The bright white lights of the lampposts reflected off the windshield, casting beams on to you etching along your curves as you went down the usual route to get home. But to your surprise there was a detour sign in the middle of the road, the arrow pointing right to force you to take the longer route home. “Just my fucking luck…” You grumbled to yourself turning your car in the direction the arrow pointed to. Now it would be longer before you could be home to get pampered, the wetness of your folds was starting to soak your scrubs as your mind tried to focus on the road ahead that was vacant and losing light from the lack of lampposts, with only the light of the moon and your headlights lighting your way. After a few miles of driving a pair of headlights appeared in your rear mirror as it turned from an alleyway. You didn’t think too much of it, people parked in the alleys sometimes especially like the big trucks that deliver to the café across the street from your apartment. The beams from the lights were blinding as you had to squint your eyes to avoid crashing, this guy couldn’t have been a delivery truck, not with lights that bright. But after another moment, you groaned in annoyance and hitting the steering wheel with your fist, seeing the now flashing blue and red lights behind you. “Shit! Shit! I should of known it was cops, damn it!”, You turned on your blinker slowing down your vehicle to a stop on the stretch of road with the car following you for the last few miles stop behind you. First an exhausting day, not being able to see your lover for weeks, and now being pulled over by the cops, what more shit could happen? This wasn’t your night at all. As you sat there waiting patiently for the officer to appear your mind began to wonder on what the hell did you get pulled over for, your tags were not expired, your lights were working and you were definitely sure that you were going the speed limit. You turned off your car as you waited impatiently with a groan, you just wanted to go home, you were horny as fuck and you just wanted to take the ticket and get home as fast as you could. You kept your eyes glued on the rearview mirror wondering what was taking so long, but as the car door opened, your pupils widen at the three fingered hand that gripped at the top of the door. A hulking figure stepped out and adjusted something around his head, turning into your direction you saw the familiar dark blue mask tails fly in the wind behind him. The lights from his car shadowing his muscular body to show every delicious and bulging curve. It was him? He pulled her over? For what? Then her mind went back to the detour sign that she had come to earlier. This was a trap!You smirked to yourself, he had this planned the whole time and even though it was out in public, that just added to the excitement. You let your ponytail become loose trying to make yourself look presentable and took some lip gloss from your purse before giving it a few dabs and spraying yourself with the perfume that he couldn’t resist. You looked beautiful in the mirror even after working twelve hours, you looked perfect to him. As your hands gripped the steering wheel firmly as he approached, you were going to test his abilities as a cop, bringing a challenge that he knew he couldn’t resist. Rolling down the window, you were met with your master. You bitten your lower lip slightly, showing your upper pearly whites. The musk from his cologne that you had gotten him filled your nostrils with him leaning down on his well-toned tattooed forearm. He cocked his head to the side giving you a sly smirk. The heat from your cheeks burned and the feeling of butterflies were forming in your belly seeing him in his cop uniform, even with his hulking size, they somehow managed to make a fit for him and damn did he look downright sexy. He was a true figure of masculinity. He reached from his side to pull out a long black flashlight, with the click from his thumb it beamed on your beautiful figure. He churred softly, you get more beautiful every time he sees you and tonight, he was rather famished. “Mam, do you have any idea why I pulled you over?“Not a clue officer, I mean after all I didn’t break any laws” You blushed softly hugging yourself around your waist As you did such that, your breasts were being pushed together by your forearms with a grin forming on your face. He let a deep churr rumble from his chest as he reached in and took a hold of your left breast in his hand kneading it with his nimble fingers. As a blissful moan left your lips, your arms released gripping yourself letting them fall weak to your side as he continued to roll it slowly in counter clock wise position. His warm thumb rubbed over your clothed nipple as it began to grow and perk painfully under your bra. Your head rolled in a semi circle as his hand released the breast with a deep hard squeeze, before trailing up your collarbone to your shoulder giving it a gentle stroke. How you missed his touch, its enticing each time he did but this time it was ten times more wanting than ever as his gentle fingers came to your chin pushing your head up to meet his sparkling blue eyes. “Why don’t you show me your license and registrations first before I tell you why first, now”, He said in a demanding tone Giggling at the intimacy that this so called role playing was going, you felt a rush down in your core, and your panties became very soaked. He was playing a good game and this so far was the best rush she had ever felt with him. “Yes…sir”, She quietly spoke licking her upper lip before giving the tips of his fingers gentle kissesNow that he felt her soft luscious lips again, he was just about ready to pounce on her, but he had to hold back every urge to not take her right now as the growing pain in his bulge starting to tent in his pants. How he missed her, the feeling of her underneath him as he took the power and control he has to remind her who she belonged to. Soon as she unbuckled her seatbelt she got up on her knees on the edge of the seat to reach in her glove compartment. Now he had a full view of her smooth ass in his face. “Now where did I put that information?”, She giggled, she was playing dumb but boy did he love it. It sent the blood rushing faster throughout him and reaching his dick making it even harder. Even in her scrubs, her ass was beautiful and looked delicious. As she swayed her hips giving him a full on show, he let his hand run up and down her thigh, sending goosebumps to rise up on her skin before letting his hand immediately gripped the one cheek, digging his fingers into the mouthwatering flesh, earning a gasp from her as he slapped it hard sending her to jerk forward. “Having trouble finding it mam?” His voice filled with intimidation His hand rubbed over where he swatted her as she backed herself into his hand rolling into his touch. Your eyes shut to the intimacy moaning with a smile forming on your lips, but your breath was caught in your throat when you felt his finger travel lower, feeling your clothed wet core and a soft whimper left your lips. He let a shaky breath come from his lungs, damn you were soaking wet already, he felt it all over his fingers as it soaked through your scrubs. He brought it up to his mouth and licked it cleaned and couldn’t help but shudder, he could taste you were desperate, but it wouldn’t be long till he would drive you wild. Once he finished cleaning off his fingers, you were able to reach what you needed to give your information as you held it in your hands, trying to hide your quickened breath. “Here it is, officer” She blushed pink in her creamy skin You tried to remain your composure but after that little act he did, you were already a hot mess, you were about ready to cum all over his hand, but as it left you without giving the satisfaction that you craved you couldn’t help but whine in disappointment. But that was just a foreplay for you had no idea what you would be in for when he would show you how badly he missed and wanted you for what was to come. Leonardo took the info but not before leaning in smashing his lips to hers gripping her chin. Her lips connected with his immediately as they began an intimate dance, but as she tried to reach with her hand to bring the kiss in deeper his other hand gripped her wrist stopping the advancements, before allowing his lips to pull away from hers with a pop. “I am about to drive you wild, you wait here, and don’t move, I got to run your record” His voice pierced her like an arrow before giving her forehead a kiss before leaving her in a desperate state, damn how could he be leaving her like this? Everything he did he always left her wanting more, he was the god of sex and intimacy. You tried to regain your composure leaning back in your seat, your heart was already pounding hard and your core was beginning to twitch and throb painfully, desperate for Leo’s cock to slide inside to take her like he has so many times before. When it came to sex, it was always something to be excited about with Leo, he always had something new to try on her and when it came to how intimate it could get, you might as well have been on the set of fifty shades of grey. You didn’t even hear the sound of his skillful footsteps returning to your door as you heard it opened up. “Mam, I ran your record and I need you to step out of the car for me”, He demanded the hunger in his eyes was now showing more than ever You looked up at him and his chest was puffed out, damn that uniform made him look hundred times sexy as he leaned against the door, holding out his hand for you. You smirked and actually defying his order, you just stood up and crossed your arms over your already aching chest, your breasts were swollen and almost ready to burst of their confines of your bra. “Just what is it that I did wrong? You got nothing on me” Your tone showing defiance and teasing But before you could do anything else he spun you around so fast by gripping on to your wrist, slamming you against your car rear door. He hushed you softly as you tried to push back but his grip was solid on you. “I would watch your tone for who you are talking to you, my starling, you know better to respect an officer of the law” He whispered in your ear sucking softly on your ear lobeHis warm strong hands began to roam over your body slowly feeling every little curve that you possessed. You were starting to feel weak in the knees as you could feel his bulge against your ass struggling to stay standing up. “Do you have any weapons or items that might hurt me on you? Yes or no?” He softly spoke, his words dripping like venom You moaned uncontrollably as his hands slid underneath your scrubs and began to crawl up and down along the skin of your belly before reaching up sneaking under bra and grasping both breasts tightly. A quiet scream escaped from you as he began to knead your breasts carefully as his hungry lips attacked the side of your neck, his teeth digging into the flesh. A mark that would make any male know she was taken and already claimed by him. “Yes or no?”, He demanded once again “N-no but I might have something that might bring you delight” She whispered gripping on to his wrists that were still torturing her breasts, hearing her response sparked a curious smile to come to his face as he looked at her breathlessly. “Lower…”, She softly whispered and as she tried to catch her breath one hand left from her breast traveling down lower till it reached the waist band of her pants. Sliding past the material, he struck gold feeling her soaking wet core letting his fingers stroke it delicately. Her head threw back against his shoulder gasping as his hand left her other breast to hold her against him on her waist as his thumb began to rub and tickle at the little pearl he felt already peeking out. You moaned loudly letting out cries of pleasure as a finger slid up inside your cunt and began to pump in and out of you in a quick pace. Your hips rolled against his movement trying to keep up as your ass slapped against his waist. “Oh and just what is this?” “Leo god damn it! Fuck! Yes!” She cried as he spread her legs wider with his feet to reach deeper up inside. His lips pressed against the back of her neck “What is this? I won’t ask again my starling” He started to pump faster and faster, before she could feel the tightness of her cunt becoming painful before she looked over her shoulder to look at him with a pleasured look “You know good and well what it is” She smirked biting her lower lip. That was it. He pulled his hand out from inside her pants as he took both of her wrists, bringing them tightly around her back as he started to push her from her running car to his own patrol car. He opened the back seat of his own vehicle before turning her around and pushing her inside till she felt the feeling of rich leather against her back. He crawled like a stalking predator towards his prey taking your arms and pinning them above your head. “You mam, have been a very bad girl” He stared deep into your eyes his hot breathe fogging in the very close space that had given you little air to breathe He reached from the back of his pants pocket pulling out a pair of handcuffs, taking her wrists he clipped the braces to the one wrist before wrapping it around the handle of the other side of the car door before clipping the other, restraining her in place. “You are under arrest” He pulled on her restraints to make sure she wouldn’t be able to escape from his pleasure “On what charge?”, You tugged hard at the cuffs but there was no turning back now, he was hungry and your cunt was going to be sore for quite awhile “I didn’t do anything” “For breaking the newest law in my book” He started to unbutton his shirt in front of you to reveal his sexy plated chest a mischievous smile looking down at your giggling form, sitting down on your hips, you could feel his bulge pulsing against your sex and you started to rub your hips up against eager to feel his cock already after being so long apart. He took out a small knife from his belt and let the blade come unfold before he took it to your scrubs, take the blade he made the first cut at the top till it went lower and lower making a perfect clean cut avoiding contact with you skin as he pushed it open revealing your bra, and with another small quick cut the bra was no longer useable as your breasts bounced out into the warm humid air. His hands grazed over them both before giving each nipple a flick. Flipping the blade closed and putting it back into his belt, he started to slide down your pants and panties in one go before throwing them on the floor. “According to this law, it’s illegal for someone just as yourself to be this needy and beautiful at the same time” He lifted up your hips till your ass was resting on his thighs and that’s when he slowly started to lower his head and started to hungrily eat at your cunt, pushing his head deeper while spreading your thighs wider. He allowed his mouth to finally engulf your entire core, churring loudly finally getting a taste of you that he so wanted from the moment he laid eyes on you. Your hips went airborne thrusting high up at the sudden contact screaming in delight, but his capable hands snaked under your thighs pulling you closer and slamming them down on his forearms, giving him complete control over you. His thick tongue licked up, down and in circles of your pink petals as your ankles hooked together around the back of his neck beckoning him to come closer. Your body began to tremble under the waves of pleasure he sent throughout your body and your fingers very tightly gripping at the cuffs that kept you bound at the door. “Can’t you just let me off with a warning?”, You whimpered feeling his lips and tongue torture your pearl relentlessly, as your belly began to bloat up building up bigger for an orgasm He didn’t answer, he was so focused on his task that your breathing and begging was drowned out in his ears. The pupils in his eyes widen as he let his tongue slid past your petals sliding deeper into the walls of your cunt. His capable tongue being able to touch every nerve sending you over the edge, massaging the walls of your pussy. Your eyes began to roll in the back of your head as he moved his one hand from your thigh to right above your core pressing down on your lower belly with his thick thumb pushing it for an orgasm. You whimpered feeling his pace quicken as his tongue circled all around inside you before coiling back out to come back to your petals and suck on your clit, like as if it were a piece of a candy. Everything was spinning now and you were starting to see stars, the fact that you were naked in the back of a patrol car with your sexy terrapin giving you oral while on the job, it sounded so dirty and so wrong, but you didn’t give a fuck about that and I am sure that he didn’t neither. Even for being a gentleman that he was, even a good boy can turn bad every once in a while. As he pressed down further into your belly your grip on the cuffs tightened to where you could hardly feel the blood rushing through your fingers anymore sending a huge wave of pleasure to rush down from your spine to your cunt as you finally released flooding his mouth and chest. “Nahhhh! Leonardo! Fuck! Oh my god! Yes!” Yelling at the top of your lungs as your ass collapsed on his thighs. Your breath was ragged, your hair was a mess and sweat covered every inch of your body. But it was from over yet. As he let your legs rest down beside him, you looked at him as your body still continued to twitch and his nimble fingers began to make work from the confines of his pants as they slid down his hips till his cock was high in the air, the veins on the side pulsing profusely. Your mouth watered as he used the back of his hand to clean his face from your juices and gave a churr of approval. “I am afraid I can’t do that mam, for its my duty as an officer of the law and you my starling need to face your punishment for your actions, you have the right to remain, no you better not be silent, anything you do or say is going to make me fuck you harder” He grabbed his cock and rubbed it teasingly at your folds, soaking the head up in your wetness and your cunt throbbed uncontrollably begging to let it take him already. But he was making sure to get himself ready, to make this moment one of the best he could ever give you. Slowly he pushed himself inside of you and you moaned happily at the delicious stretch as he slid deeper inside of you, he held your hip for balance till he started to go at a slow pace. Your cunt closed in around his cock tightly as the plushiness of your walls started to milk him. Once he got a good pace going he crawled up further till he held both of your cheeks and smashed his lips into yours. You moaned happily hooking your legs once more this time around his waist bringing him deeper to where he would get the g-spot that would for sure give you the best orgasm. As your lips danced seductively, connecting and reconnecting over and over again, your tongue managed to escape and lick his lower lip beckoning his tongue to come inside for a visit. He chuckled darkly as he pressed his tongue passed your lips he tangles his up with your pressing it down, even for a small appendage it took control very easily just like he does. His arms snaked around your back and the other around your head pulling you into a loving embrace and bringing the kiss deeper into passion and love. Even for being a beast, he could be so gentle at times, he was a gentle giant but with a frisky side. His cock kept rubbing against your walls as his pace started to move faster. Deep in his belly he felt a urge to cum all over her, but wanted to make sure that he got all of it inside of her. His cool plastron cooled down your hot sweaty body as he laid himself carefully down on your delicate form as his thrusts continued to get harder as he pulled out before slamming back in, you begged and begged that he could just thrust himself enough to hit that spot. Your cunt began to turn red from the intensity as you felt yourself cry out again in pleasure feeling your insides about ready to explode and the knot of orgasm beginning to tighten. “Leonardo! Please! Please!” You looked deep into his eyes breathing ragged as the sound of skin on skin continuing to slap hard leaving red marks “Don’t resist an officer, cum for me beautiful, cum for me hard!” His breathing also hard from the amount of effort he was putting himself into and he crawled up higher on to your upper body where your breasts were squished underneath his plated chest, he slammed himself repeatedly keeping your lips locked into a passionate kiss. The amount of noise you two were making was enough to drown out every sound in the city. Your skin began to vibrate and jiggle struggling to stay up with his pace screaming out throwing your head back against the leather of the seat feeling yourself reach nirvana, till Leo growled out loudly, letting his animal instincts be shown to their fullest, before finally releasing, finally letting his cum fill you up as you gasped at the hot feeling of it sinking deep into your cunt. He rested his head in the crook of your shoulder starting to slow down his thrusts, as you both started to come down from your high thrill of ecstasy. He took the chain off your restraints tugging at it effortlessly breaking the chain allowing your shoulders to relax as they clung tiredly around his sweaty shoulders. Soon as your eyes opened all that greeted you were fuzzy images till you were able to refocus your vision to find Leo rubbing his face against the valley of your breasts before looking up at you with a tired and lustful smile. Damn he made this night so worth it, even if it was doing out in public not even waiting for you two to get home to do in privacy, you thought you two should do this outside more often now. He made you feel so loved and alive right now, you almost forgot about the hellish weeks of being apart. Soon his thrusts came to a stop as he pulled out carefully, as some of the cum dripped out from you. He sat up bringing you up in his arms rubbing the soreness of your shoulders. You both embraced each other lovingly, this night could of shook the earth it was that powerful because of the love that both shared for each other, you stared at each other not blinking once not even caring if anyone saw you two in this state you were that much in the moment to notice. “I should misbehave more often…” You softly whispered stroking his cheek before letting your fingers trace his jawline“Don’t try me” He chuckled darkly giving your ass a spank making you flinch in surprise “Now hurry on home, I still have to get you booked” “Well I will be sure to give you my best mugshot” You bit your lip teasingly as he churred deeply where you could feel it vibrating against your beating heart and a deep intense stare be given to you. Instead of attacking, he gave you a deep passionate kiss before handing you his shirt and letting you get your pants on so you could drive home. “See you at home, captain”, You slapped his ass as you scurried away before he could catch you with a giggle. I guess you didn’t learn lesson on obeying the law, but no matter you were not going to get away with it that easily, not with your man in blue on the job. 

these nights (8)

word count: 5.7k

warnings: questionable medical information (lol), jihyun and her massive brothers

summary: jeno’s injuries aren’t conclusive and jihyun is impatient 

Johnny is never the one to stray from a schedule, especially if it is one he has made for himself to stay sane. Hospital stay or not, he opened his eyes promptly at seven am, yawning and blinking at the bleary cloud before trying to soothe the crick in his neck from sleeping on the small hospital couch. He glanced over to Jeno, whose chest rose and fell steadily, sending a smile to Johnny’s face before he sat up.

“At least one of us slept well, huh Jen?”

Jeno gave a deep breath in response. Johnny dug into his bag for his toothbrush, walking over to the sink to hastily brush his teeth while looking over at his emails. Thankfully, it seemed that the world managed to stay afloat while he was asleep. He noticed there was an absence of missed calls, which always made him relieved. That is until he looked at his text messages, noticing his teenaged son’s messages from three in the morning.

From: Hyunwoo

We’re out of milk again.

Oh. Forgot you’re not coming home. Again.

Johnny rolled his eyes. He knew that his son had no concern for the lack of milk in the fridge, not to mention he didn’t even think they had a shortage of milk. Hyunwoo these days seemed to thrive off making his father irate, the pettier the reason the better. Johnny sighed and spit in the sink, rinsing his mouth out with water while thinking of an equally snarky response. He decided not to do so, reminding himself that he was the parent in the situation, regardless of how annoyed he was. Instead, he opted to call his son, knowing full well that he should be getting ready for school at this hour. Hyunwoo answered with a grunt, causing Johnny to bite his tongue.

“Hyunwoo.”

“I said, what?”

Johnny took a deep breath, pinching the bridge of his nose, “did you manage without the milk? I’m sorry, I must’ve forgot.”

“The nanny made something else.”

“Okay,” Johnny cleared his throat. “Please help her get the rest of the kids ready—“

“I know what I have to do.”

“I was just making sure.”

Hyunwoo hung up the phone abruptly, causing the older man to stare at his phone in disbelief before he scoffed. “This fucking kid—“

Johnny was in the process of redialing his son before a knock came from the door. He narrowed his eyes, telepathically telling his son that he had just barely escaped his fury before he told the person to come in, revealing a nurse with an apologetic smile.

“I’m glad you’re awake. I’d feel bad if I woke you up with my knock.” She smiled sheepishly, “I’m just here to check on Jeno’s vitals and I’ll be on my way.”

Johnny nodded, smiling in return as he watched the nurse look at the monitors and check Jeno’s bandages.

“How is he?”

“I think he’s healing up faster than we thought,” she smiled. “I overheard the doctor say that the swelling in his brain decreased a lot since he’s been admitted. She thinks it suspicious though. His brain injury doesn’t seem consistent with other head injuries in car accidents.”

Johnny furrowed his eyebrows, “what do you mean?”

The nurse realized she over-spoke then, bowing her head, “sorry. I’m just saying what the doctor told us.”

“No, it’s fine,” Johnny reassured. “I won’t say anything.”

“I’m sure you can ask the doctor more in depth later on,” she explained. “I’ve seen a lot too, but she’d probably explain it better.”

“When will she be around?”

The nurse looked at her watch, “her shift starts at seven thirty. It shouldn’t be too long now.”  

Johnny nodded, thanking her quietly before the nurse bowed and left. Johnny chewed on his fingernails, sitting down on the infamous armchair as he watched Jeno breathe. He contemplated whether or not he should call Jaehyun, surely he was awake by now, but he didn’t want to stress him anymore than he should, especially if his best source is a chatty nurse.

Instead, he opted for staring at his phone, wondering if he should call back Hyunwoo despite the conversation gone stale. If Johnny called him back it would just be petty. He’d let it go, for now, at least. He waited patiently for the doctor arrive, playing a random game his younger son put on his phone before there was another knock, revealing the doctor who bowed at her entrance.

“Good morning. Are you Jaemin?”

Johnny shook his head, “no. He won’t be here until later. I’m his brother in law, Youngho.”

“Of course. It’s good to meet you, Mr. Youngho.” The doctor quickly introduced herself before she continued to look over Jeno. “Do you have any questions for me? Or in general?

“I mean, my main one is how long until Jeno is able to wake up again.”

“Ah, that,” the doctor smiled, putting down her iPad before sitting down on a plastic chair. “It’s interesting that Jeno is recuperating faster than we thought. We were initially concerned about head trauma when he first came in and we saw the CT Scan. We did see a lot of brain swelling initially, but when we see brain swelling in the brain, just a moment--“

The doctor stood up, logging on to the nearby computer quickly before clicking on a few different windows. “I’m sorry, it would just be easier to explain with some imagery.”

She turned the monitor to show Johnny Jeno’s x-ray, furrowing his eyebrows as he tried to understand.

“The last thing I want to do is overwhelm you, Mr. Youngho. I guess, a question I should ask is are you aware of Jeno’s condition before the car accident?”

Johnny shook his head, “no. Not really.”

The doctor nodded, pressing her lips in a tight line, “simply put, with car accident brain trauma, we would usually find injury or trauma here, in the frontal lobe. This usually happens because, when a driver makes impact, it’s with the steering wheel or even the windshield at times. Sometimes, we see a bit of injury in the parietal lobe, in circumstances in which the driver has been ejected or the car has been turned over.”

“However, in Jeno’s case,” Johnny watched the doctor grimace, tilting her head back and forth in a way that indicated she was thinking carefully of her next words, “we see that Jeno has most, if not all, of his injury in the very back of the brain, closer to the occipital lobe here and the very beginnings of the cerebellum, here.”

“The reason I ask of Jeno’s condition before the car accident is to ask if it anything happened prior towards the car accident.”

The doctor grimaced, “these injuries are more consisted with inflicted injuries. It would be my logical assumption that Jeno got in the car afterwards to get away. The lower parts of the brain have to do with sense of direction and vision, and the injuries obtained on the rest of his body lead me to believe that these were done before.”

Johnny’s eyes switched from the doctor to Jeno, still not being able to fully grasp the information. “Which injuries, would you say, were inflicted from the car accident?”

“Without further examination, I could say that his bruised lung is most consistent a car accident. Jeno’s seatbelt holding him back from the crash could cause the lungs to hit against the ribs, causing a moderately bruised lung.”

“The broken femur? The arm?”

The doctor pressed her lips together before she shook her head, “Jeno’s impact with the car was on the left. Both his left leg and arm are fine, there was no impact with from the right side.”

Johnny fell back against the chair, his head swimming in confusion as the doctor gauged his reaction. He scratched at his hair, rubbing his face before standing up, “thank you.”

“Any more questions from me?”  

“You actually never answered my question, really,” Johnny said gently. “How much longer until Jeno wakes up?”

“We’re going to do a few more scans of his brain swelling before we determine that this afternoon. If we see that the swelling has reduced to a safer level, we might consider relieving Jeno of sleeping medication and allowing him to wake up naturally. That alone, should be by the end of the week depending on him and how long he wants to take. But, if the swelling is still a bit of ways to decrease, we might take him off sleeping medication at the end up the week, and he’ll wake up sometime early next week.”

Johnny nodded, “okay. Thank you, Doctor.”

“Of course. If you have any questions, feel free to contact the nurse.”

“Thank you.”

There was no way he wasn’t going to keep this information from Jaehyun. He sighed heavily, patting Jeno’s good arm before calling Jaehyun. “Hey, it’s me.”

Jaehyun

Jaehyun heard his phone vibrate next to him, groaning at what he assumed to be his alarm before he noticed Johnny’s name on the screen, yawning before he answered, “Hello?”

“Hey, it’s me.”

“What’s up, hyung?” He greeted quietly, gently shuffling out of bed so not to wake up Jihyun as he walked to the bathroom.

“I just finished talking to Jeno’s doctor.”

“Yeah? Is everything okay?”

“He’s fine, he’s recovering pretty quick. Jeno’s never been the one to like being asleep anyway.”

Jaehyun smiled, “that’s good.”

“Yeah, but, there’s something that the doctor said that…is kind of worrying.”

“What’s that?”

“The doctor said that the bruised lung is the only injury from the car accident.”

Jaehyun furrowed his eyebrows together, “how? What do you mean?”

“Jeno’s arm and leg are broken the opposite way he was hit and flipped. Not to mention, Jeno’s brain injury is at the back of the head, not the front, not at the top.”

“Meaning?”

Johnny sighed, “meaning—the doctor thinks Jeno was hit before the car accident. The blows to his head probably caused the it, assuming that what the doctor said was true.”

Jaehyun tossed his head back, groaning quietly to himself with his eyes closed, “okay.”

“Okay?”

“We’ll talk more about it later when you come over,” Jaehyun scratched the back of his head. “There’s nothing much we can do until Jeno wakes up and he gives us his story. Did she tell you when he would wake up?”

“If the swelling goes down enough, we’re looking at sometime at the end of the week.”

Jaehyun nodded, “that’s fine. I just want to make sure Jeno heals. Is there anything else she told you?”

“No, Boss.”

“Good, at least he’s waking up soon. If there’s nothing else, I’m hanging up.”

“Alright, I’ll see you later.”

Jaehyun pressed his lips in a tight line, hanging the phone up before padding barefoot back to bed, placing his phone back on the nightstand before snuggling back into his bed sheets. Jihyun scooted towards him, her head resting on his chest as she rubbed his side.

“Everything okay?”

Jaehyun answered her question with a kiss to the crown of her head, “everything is okay.”

“Who called?”

“Johnny hyung.”

Jihyun only replied with another hum, going back to sleep before Jaehyun followed suit. They didn’t wake up until Jihyun’s alarm went off, Jaehyun waking up confused at the idea that he must’ve turned off his alarm in his sleep until he saw Jihyun awake on the end of the bed, watching the news and watching Jaehyun wake up with a smile.

“Good morning.”

“Good morning,” he mumbled, pushing the blanket off of his body before sitting up. “Did you turn off my alarm?”

“I did, I wanted to make sure you got some sleep.”

“Thank you,” he smiled, making grabbing hands as Jihyun silently followed to his hold.

“What did Johnny oppa call for?”

“Just a Jeno update.”

“Is he okay?”

“He’s doing better than we thought. He might wake up this weekend.”

“That’s good news!”

Jaehyun hummed, rubbing her shoulders as they continued to watch the news. Jihyun seemed to be fidgety this morning, shifting in Jaehyun’s arms before he finally looked down at her in confusion.

“You okay?”

Jihyun nodded with a smile, “yep!”

“You sure?”

“I was just wondering…” she started, “were you serious about getting married today or was that just pillow talk?”

Jaehyun laughed, “do you want to?”

“Duh,” she grinned, resting her head on her arm. “Do you want me to call?”

Jaehyun took a moment to study her face, snorting before he pulled at her nose, “you already did, didn’t you?”

Jihyun pouted, “what if you tried to back out?”

“Back out from what Jihyun? Marrying you?”

“Cold feet is a real thing,” she trailed off, scrunching her nose at Jaehyun laughs before he pressed a kiss to her cheek.

“I’m not going to back out from marrying you, Jihyun. You’re insane.”

“Promise?”

“Yes. Now when are we supposed to be there?”

Jihyun looked down at her hands, “in an hour?”

“An hour?!”

The couple barely made it to their nine o’clock appointment, Jaehyun picking the nicest shirt he had and semi-matching pants before he pushed Jihyun out the door. The housekeeper was just beginning to enter as they left, telling her that they would be back later on in the afternoon before they got in the car and sped off towards the registrar’s office.

They signed and received their marriage license first, listening to explanations that their license would be void if they didn’t have the ceremony in thirty days. Jihyun explained that they were having their ceremony today, to which they were redirected towards a smaller room, barely decorated with a few flowers as they stood in front of the marriage official.

Although grey, somewhat bleak and definitely bureaucratic, there was a hidden element of romanticism as Jaehyun’s heart soared of the idea of him finally marrying the girl he had been in love with the vast majority of his life.

Kim Jihyun, the girl who used to call him snot nosed pig when they were kids. The same Kim Jihyun who always came over when he was sick, despite her father’s orders to stay home. He looked to her neck to see the same diamond tear drop necklace he had bought her all those years ago for White Day, the same day he confessed and the same day they shared their first kiss, unromantically in front of Jisung.

Jaehyun smiled to himself, noticing that Jihyun was smiling at him. The last twelve years, they had never lost an ounce of love for each other. Not even for the year they had broken up for reasons that Jaehyun couldn’t even remember anymore. He loved all of her, he loved the pimple she tried to cover up this morning. He loved the freckle on the inner corner of her eye, he loved her eyes and how they look at Jaehyun, the same look she gave him whenever she told him she loved him, or that she was proud of him. Pure, unadulterated, love.

I love you, he mouthed, watching Jihyun’s mouth turn for a bright smile as she mouthed back.

I love you more.

“Does Jung Jaehyun take Kim Jihyun as his wife?”

“I do.”

“Does Kim Jihyun take Jung Jaehyun as her husband?”

“I do.”

“Then by the power invested in me, by the city of Seoul, I formally pronounce husband and wife.”

They shared a loving kiss after they exchanged their rings. Jaehyun noticed he quite liked the weight on his ring finger. With no witnesses except the officials, the two left the courtroom hand in hand, swinging their hands together as they made it back into the car. They sat there for a moment, words failing to describe the emotion they felt before Jihyun sat on her knees, pulling Jaehyun in for a deeper kiss, one that he eagerly returned as he looped his fingers in her hair.

They pulled away breathlessly, smiling at each other before sharing short pecks.

“I love you,” she said before she kissed him again. “I don’t think I’ve ever loved you this much in my life.”

Jaehyun snorted, “that’s reassuring.”

Jihyun smiled, throwing her leg over the control deck before scooting on Jaehyun’s lap. Jaehyun looked around the parking lot, feeling somewhat relieved that it was empty so early in the morning.

“We’re married.”

“We’re married,” Jaehyun smiled, reconnecting their lips before Jihyun pulled away.

“You’re stuck with me. Forever, Yoonoh.”

“I know, that’s the point.” Jaehyun grinned, “it’s against the law to divorce me.”

“It’s against the law to divorce me!” Jihyun huffed, kissing his neck before pulling away with a pout, “please don’t divorce me.”

Jaehyun laughed, holding her close and squeezing her tightly, “I’m not planning on it. I didn’t divorce you in our past life and I’m not divorcing you in this one.”

“Again, with the past life,” Jihyun rolled her eyes. “How do you know we got married in a past life? Hm?”

“Because instead of my heart racing, my heart was calm.”

Jihyun narrowed her eyes, “maybe that was your brain telling you to leave me.”

Jaehyun groaned, grabbing her face and squishing her cheeks together, “I’m trying to be romantic!”

Jihyun smiled, kissing his wrists before eagerly bouncing, “let’s go do married couple things.”

“What do you have in mind?”

“Let’s go grocery shopping!”

“Grocery—? Baby, we grocery shop every week, what difference does it make now?”

“The difference, my husband, is that we can go buy our groceries and I can show off my ring to the cashier that always flirts with you. And then, I’ll ask baby, can I have your card? and you’ll hand me the heaviest card in your wallet and—“

Jaehyun shook his head, “how about we don’t do that?”

Jihyun frowned, “why not?”

“You don’t have to prove anything to anyone, Jihyun.”

Jihyun blinked, “where’s the fun in that?”

“How about we go to your parent’s house?” Jaehyun started, “your dad is waiting for you anyway, and we can tell them that we got married so we can get a free lunch?”

“Are you mooching off my parents?”

“Which answer will make you say yes?”

Jihyun laughed, kissing Jaehyun’s nose before she climbed back in the passenger seat. “Fine, let’s go see my parents and get a free lunch.”

“That’s my girl,” Jaehyun smiled, turning the car on as he began the drive towards Jihyun’s home.

Jihyun’s childhood home was a warm English Tudor styled home where she spent a relatively normal life and childhood save for her father’s profession. Her mother was a writer for a lifestyle magazine, writing about cooking meals for her beautiful, wealthy family while her husband ran off to kill who knows what for whatever reason. Regardless, Jihyun lived a lavish and spoiled lifestyle being the only daughter after four brothers, four brothers that tormented Jaehyun endlessly every time he came over.

Even now, as Jaehyun pulled into the driveway, he remembered Jihyun’s third oldest brother shoving his head into a pile of mud, leading Jihyun to scream, cry, and knock her brother unconscious with the nearest baseball bat. Needless to say, it was a fun story to tell on holidays—more so now that her brother thinks it’s funny to play buddy-buddy with Jaehyun now that’s somewhat successful.

Jaehyun shuddered at the thought, immediately remembering that most, if not all, of her brothers were home.

“What?”

“Huh?” Jaehyun asked, being pulled out of his reverie after he parked the car. He was still sitting in his seat, making no effort to get out of the car.

“You kind of shook there for a second,” Jihyun smiled. “You nervous?”

“No,” he scoffed, opening the door. “Why?”

Jihyun waited until Jaehyun opened the door for her, taking his hand as she grinned up at him. “Only because we got married and we’re about to tell my dad and my brothers.”

“I’m almost thirty, what is your brother going to do? Stick me in mud again?”

“Are you ever going to let that go?”

“Are you ever going to let go of the cashier flirting with me?”

Jihyun narrowed her eyes, pulling him closer as they walked inside the door. Upon entering, Jaehyun could already hear the booming laughs that came from the sitting room.  Jaehyun made sure to hide his grimace when Jihyun’s mother (now, Mother-in-Law, he supposed) walked in the room. Jihyun hugged her mother and watched as the other woman cooed at her stomach before putting her attention to Jaehyun, hugging him tightly and patting his back.

“Your brothers are in the living room, Jihyun, let’s go say hi.” She smiled, pulling the couple towards the sitting room. Jaehyun sighed, giving a soft smile before putting his hand on the small of Jihyun’s back.

“All of them?”

“They all came! Isn’t that great?”

Of course, all four brothers were sat on the couch, looking up at Jihyun and Jaehyun with a smile. Jiho, Jihyun’s oldest brother, was the first to stand up and embrace the two, not before mocking Jihyun and how she really looked like an old lady. Jihyun would respond to her brother’s jest with an elbow to the stomach, mentioning that he was no spring chicken considering he had four of his own, two of which would be entering college sometime this year.

Jihoon, the second, stood up next. Out of all the brothers, Jaehyun seemed to rely and talk to Jihoon the most. Despite being the second oldest, he was, perhaps, the most mature and the quietest of his brothers. Jaehyun remembered that he was always studying whenever he saw him, but when he wasn’t, he would humor Jihyun and Jaehyun with whatever imaginary game they wanted to play. Jihoon was also the first to get his license, often being the one to sneak Jihyun to Jaehyun’s house whenever she was in trouble. If Jihyun were to have a second father, it would be Jihoon. He greeted Jaehyun with a genuine side arm hug, patting his back and asking him if everything was going well. He had heard about Jeno since he worked at the same hospital where he was at, but Jaehyun only dismissed it, reassuring him that he was fine.

Next was Jihwan, Jaehyun’s least favorite brother. Just as he expected, Jihwan poked fun at Jihyun’s stomach, worse than her older brother before Jihyun lifted her arm, threatening a punch before he flinched. He even patted Jaehyun’s stomach, mocking him and telling the rest of his family that there was no way Jaehyun could fit a baby with his tiny stomach and rock-hard abs. His words, not Jaehyun’s. Jaehyun was embarrassed at Jihyun’s brother fondling him, especially in front her father, so he gently pushed him to the side to greet the last and youngest brother.

Fresh out of his military service and probably closest to his age, Jihu. Jaehyun doesn’t remember much about Jihu, probably because he was always in and out of punishments. They talked once or twice a year, but they rarely had anything in common except that they went to the same high school, that’s it. Even now, the greeting was awkward, Jaehyun gave him a smile that her brother returned. They shook hands cordially, before Jihu noticed the ring on his hand, smiling widely.

“Congrats,” he said quietly.

Jaehyun returned the smile, “thanks.”

Suddenly, he felt a pair of arms wrap against his waist, flinching at Jihyun’s mother squeezing him tightly, “I’m so glad, you came, Jaehyun. My favorite son, Jaehyunie.”

He laughed awkwardly as Jiho rolled his eyes, pulling his mother off of the embarrassed man before pushing her towards the dining room, “Mom, didn’t you say you made lunch? Why don’t you show me?”

“Show you for what reason? You’re too old for me to show you anything anymore— “

Jinho stood up from his spot on the couch after the brothers left the living room to follow their mother towards the kitchen at the promise of food. He kissed Jihyun’s forehead and asked her how she was feeling, concerned that she left so early last night to bed when Jihyun would usually sit and talk to him for hours.

“I really was on my feet for hours, Daddy,” she pouted, looking up at her father with wide eyes. “All I wanted to do was go to bed.”

“Not to make more grandchildren, I hope.”

Jaehyun choked.

“Don’t be mean to Jaehyun, Daddy, he was tired too. He went straight to bed after I put on his anti-aging face mask.”

Jiho rested a heavy hand on Jaehyun’s shoulder, “good boy.”

Jaehyun gave a sheepish smile, thanking every God responsible for Jihoon pulling him out of his father’s grasp. “Jaehyun, Mom wants you to get the second plate after Jihyun.”

“Thank you, hyung,” he whispered.

Jihoon smiled, patting his back and leading him towards the kitchen. He helped wherever he could, but it didn’t help that Jihyun’s mother was pushing him out of the way, reassuring him that he could sit down with everyone else at the table. Truth was, he wasn’t ready to sit down yet, especially if he realized his seat next to Jihyun was also the seat next to Jihwan. He could gag, in all honesty.

Unfortunately, he sat down next to his brother-in-law, smiling awkwardly everytime he opened his mouth.

They chatted and ate for what seemed like hours, Jihyun having ate the most what with her husband, her father, her mother, and Jihoon placing bites of food onto her plate. She didn’t end up eating most of it, scooting her leftovers back to Jaehyun’s plate, in which Jihwan would sneak bites as Jaehyun pretended not to notice.

“Anyway,” Jihyun started, “we kind of have some news.”

“What’s next? You’re already pregnant and engaged.” Jiho mocked, earning a roll of the eyes from Jihyun.

“Applause! Jaehyun and Jihyun adopted a dog!” Jihwan snickered, clapping by himself.

“Did you buy another house?” Her mother prompted.

“No—“

“Twins?”

“No! This isn’t a guessing game!”

“Spit it out, Jihyun,” Jihoo said with a mouth full of food.

Jaehyun felt his hand taken out from under the table, revealing their rings as Jihyun beamed in happiness. “We got married!”

Fury erupted from the table, everyone except Jihu had something to say.

“Jihyun, we were supposed to plan the wedding how could you go and—“

“—what took so long, Jaehyun—?”

“You went dressed like that?”

“Mommy, we’re still going to have a wedding we just got married first—!”

“I’d say congrats, Jaehyun but it’s my sister and I still feel kind of iffy about you—“

Jinho cleared his throat, silence rippling through the table as he wiped his mouth of food. The rest of the table was waiting for his reaction, the reaction of his youngest child, his only daughter, going off to get married in front of two marriage officials that were less than enthusiastic about marrying another couple. Jinho made eye contact with Jaehyun, holding his gaze as Jaehyun quickly recited every Hail Mary he remembered from Catholic school as well as contacting a few more deities should Jinho decided to stab him with the salad fork.

“Daddy, Jaehyun and I have been wanting to get married for years but every year something came up,” Jihyun explained. “The last time we wanted to get married Uncle Jungmo died, and then after that Jieun unnie died, and then after that—“

Jinho took her hand, squeezing reassuringly, “did you have fun?”

Jihyun smiled, nodding her head as she held her father’s hand to her cheek, “it was beautiful, Daddy. Jaehyun loves me and he takes care of me.”

“This is so fucking disgusting,” Jiho said under his breath, earning a slap to his shoulder from his mother.

“Daddy, I’m the best because I’m pretty and I’m a girl,” Jihwan mocked in a high pitch voice, rolling his eyes before picking at his food.  

“Daddy, Jihwan oppa is only mad because all of his girlfriend’s cheat on him,” Jihyun said with a kiss to his palm. “Jaehyun and I have been together longer than Jihwan oppa’s mortgage account. Please don’t be mad.”

“Dad, she’s already pregnant, what’s the harm in having a court wedding.” Jihoon snorted, “she’s also not seventeen anymore. She’s twenty eight and she’s in charge of her own life. Her deciding to marry Jaehyun out of the blue on a Wednesday morning would not be the worst thing she’s done.”

Jinho huffed, “why is everyone assuming I’m angry? Jihoon is right, Jihyun isn’t a little girl anymore and she’s been with Jaehyun long enough to decide what kind of wedding she wants. Not to mention, Dear, she mentioned she’s still having a wedding. She legally wants to be recognized as Jaehyun’s spouse and I think it’s smart. They should’ve done it a long time ago.”

“I have no qualms with your marriage, Jihyunie. I just would’ve wanted to be there to see it,” Jinho said sadly, a small smile still on his lips.

“Next time! During the big party!” Jihyun beamed, squeezing her father’s hand before putting it down.

“I’m dizzy,” Jihyun’s mother moaned. “Tea? Anyone, tea?”

“I would like some—“

“Then come get some, Jihwan I’m not your servant.”

Among the bustle of plates being picked up and everyone picking up their plates, Jaehyun was pulled aside by Jihyun’s father, walking to the empty sitting room. It seemed that Jinho took the marriage fairly well, so that at least was off his shoulders, but not even God himself could guess what was going to come out of his father-in-law’s voice next.

“I hope that didn’t scare you off.”

Jaehyun smiled, shaking his head, “it takes a little more than that these days, sir.”

Jinho shared his laugh, “I’m sure it does.”

“Are you happy, son?”

Jaehyun nodded, not a shake to his voice, not a tremble in his fingers, “I am.”

Jinho snorted, “if someone would’ve told me that Jungmo’s tiny kid would marry my Jihyun, I’d kill them for disrespecting me and my friend.”

Jaehyun grimaced, “sir--“

“I’m glad it’s you, Yoonoh,” he said quickly. “You take care of my Jihyun, and I’m sure you will when I’m gone.”

“In many, many years.”

“Exactly,” Jinho smiled, but Jaehyun couldn’t help but to detect sadness in his voice. “Take care of my Jihyun, Yoonoh. She was the love of my life way before she was ever yours.”

Jaehyun bowed, “I will, sir. Thank you for accepting me, I can’t imagine it’s easy.”

“I’ve done many jobs for your father, Jaehyun. But this is the hardest one I’ve ever done for him. It can’t be helped,” he sighed. “Soon Hyerim will come, and you’ll understand.”

Jinho smiled to himself, “one day, you’ll be an old man like me, sitting in your chair in front of some shaky kid who wants to marry your Hyerim, only for him to grow some balls the day he finally does.”

Jaehyun laughed, scratching the back of his head, “can’t wait.”

They’re quiet for a while, listening to the conversations and yells that are coming from the dining room where Jaehyun could hear Jihyun argue about which tea she should drink with her brothers. Jaehyun smiled, but his smile was put on a pause when his phone rang in his pocket.

“Excuse me,” he said suddenly, leaving once Jinho dismissed him with a wave. Jaehyun walked towards the hallway, taking the phone in his hands and answering quickly. “Johnny hyung?”

“WRONG! It’s me Uncle Jaehyun, it’s Taewoo!”

“Hi, Taewoo,” Jaehyun smiled. “Where’s your dad?”

“He’s right here—hey!”

“I am so sorry,” Johnny said suddenly, sounding breathless on the other line.

“Visits?”

“All four of them,” Johnny huffed. “I know I’m supposed to come over to your house, but my nanny quit. Literally just now.”

“You can bring them over, hyung, it’s fine. I have the gaming room upstairs,”

“Dad can you ask Uncle Jaehyun about the gaming room?” Either Taewoo or Taesoo asked.

“Uncle Jaehyun isn’t going to let you play if you keep jumping around like that, Taesoo—“

“I’m Taewoo that’s Taesoo.”

“Nice try, kiddo, but I know my kids,” Johnny snipped. “Dinner? Maybe?”

Jaehyun laughed, “of course.”

“You’re the best, I’ve got to go—Taesoo, are you fucking crazy let go of your sister’s hair!”

Johnny hung up just as Goeun was about to scream, leaving Jaehyun alone in the hallway. He feels arms wrap around from behind, smiling at the gentle hold as he pulled Jihyun closer to him, turning around as she snuggled into his chest.

“Who was that?”

“Johnny hyung,” he said. “We might actually have to go to the supermarket, you got lucky.”

“Why is that?”

“Hyung’s nanny quit, and they haven’t had dinner. Are you okay to cook, or do you want take out?”

Jihyun scrunched her nose, “I’ve had take-out three days in a row, if I have it one more time I might puke.”

“Cook?”

“Cooking for his kids is easy,” Jihyun nodded. “Do you want to go now?”

“It all depends on you, baby. It’s whatever you want.”

“Jiho and Jihu oppa are starting to compare their times in the military and I kind of don’t care to listen.”

“Lead the way, baby.”

Goodbyes were lengthy, as he expected. Even with the holidays coming up it wasn’t certain that they would all see each other the same. It was a miracle that Jihoon got a break from the hospital with his schedule and it was a coincidence that Jihu was discharged a week ago. With hugs and kisses divided for each, including Jaehyun, they left the Kim household, Jihyun swinging their joined hands as they walked towards the car.

“Happy?” Jaehyun asked, smiling at Jihyun’s kiss.

“Happiest,” she sighed. “I got to see my brothers, remembered how annoying they were. I got married, my family loves my husband, and now I’m going to show off my ring to the cashier.”

“Behave.”

“Nope.” Jihyun grinned, hopping in the passenger seat before Jaehyun closed the door.

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Stains on the Memory [B. Hargrove x you]

Request: @awildkaitlynhasappeared

Inspiration: Disintegration by The Cure

Word Count: 2421 Warnings: profanity and angst.

Written Date: 8/6-24/2019 Posted Date: 8/24/2019

The new Lego set includes too many pieces to count and a manual too difficult for the four-year-old to read. The pictured King’s Castle on the box brings wonder, but not enough for the stubborn boy to stick to the instructions or ask for help. Either way, blocks lock on together by able hands and his imagination runs far too wild to be tamed by boring words and numbers.

It wasn’t playful excitement that had him push past his dad and run past you, with your hands on your hips as your eyes flew from him to Billy, but rather a desperate eagerness to escape what is now taking place on the other side of his bedroom door.

“You forgot Jason in your car for two hours!”

Your muffled words pierce through Jason’s crayola-scribbled bedroom door. That tone in your voice is always reserved just for his father; it’s never been directed at your son even when he’s worn your patience thin by throwing a tantrum when Looney Tunes hadn’t been on TV while your feet were sore from wearing pumps at work all day.

Jason knows that this is only the beginning of an endless night.

The wires in his brain steer him to focus on the Legos he had been begging his parents to buy ever since he’d first seen the commercial on television. He’d asked and asked and asked but the answer was always a prolonged no.

There were far too many excuses his parents would give him that it was tough for his little head to wrap around the truth. The pieces proved hazardous for a child his age, you’d tell him. They weren’t sold in the stores in their town, Billy’d tell him. They were sold out last time you checked and were waiting for a restock, but, in reality, the price had driven you away. Billy simply just hadn’t seen any around―not that he was actually looking.

“Don’t tell me he was safe! You ditched our son to have drinks with fucking Perry!”

But, what had been the truth? After being strapped in with a seat belt with no form of entertainment except for watching strangers stroll by the sidewalk in front of the bar every now and then, Billy had returned to the car with a quick stride and a nervous twitch to his eyebrow. No apology. No explanation to the boy who was promised his father wouldn’t be gone long. Nothing that made any bit of sense except the drive to Target, and finding out that Legoland sets hadn’t been in some faraway land like Jason had been growing to believe and that his father had no problem pulling out a wad of bills from his pocket to pay for it. So why did his parents lie?

The knight figure has quickly become the favored piece as Jason mounts it on a horse, charging it against another figure he decided was the enemy in this private battle. A whoosh pushes past thin lips as the impact between plastic erupts, the enemy crashing against the carpet a few feet away.

Brain waves continue to buzz through his trickling veins in a vain attempt, like palms pumping against a dwindling chest, to keep his spirit from retreating into a cocoon. It seems to be working as the proud digits on his bedside table flick through the evening even though his heart isn’t fully invested in the activity.

“I didn’t mean to―”

“And yet you decided to get behind the wheel with our four year old son while who knows how drunk you were―”

“I wasn’t fuckin’ drunk…now will you keep your fucking voice down?”

Jason doesn’t know that his toy collection is decent at best. He has yet to start Kindergarten, so he doesn’t know many children his age to compare. The only children he knows belong to Billy’s co-workers down at the mechanic shop and yours from the restaurant you waitress at, but even then, most of the kids are too old to want to play with him whenever they visit.

If only he was old enough to read all the clear signs right in front of him. His parents are living paycheck to paycheck, and they just don’t have the heart to tamper his blissful ignorance with such a heavy burden.

“No, because it’s always the same thing with you! Is that what was normal when you were growing up? Butter up the kid with gifts bought with rent money every time your dad screwed up?!”

Small fingers loosen around the knight in matte armor and it’s white horse, falling out of Jason’s clutch. His sleeveless forearms rise past the Hulk logo printed across his chest as his palms cup his ears.

Your rambling is long and far too scrambled for Jason, yet certain words are stressed enough to slither down the hallway, slip through the cracks of the bedroom, and nail your sole pride and joy. Even when he doesn’t fully understand why these words hurt him.

The mention of possible family members who never call nor visit is part of the void that breathes between his fragile shoulders. He only had pictures tucked away under his parents’ bed in some weathered album. The faces had names he often forgot, and some even had titles of relation, but that’s about the extent of the knowledge you indulged him in. It hurt you too much to go any further and explain why your and Billy’s little family lived states away from everyone, but you handle it better than Billy who only ever changes the subject with a flick of his eyes whenever your boy asks about the redheaded women who’re pictured with an older man with a mustache who oddly resembles his father.

The photograph had been hidden in the last page of the photo album in which Jason had discovered on his own after flipping through the empty pages. The expressions of the three mysterious figure are anything but happy, yet the women do not send shivers crawling up his spine like the stern-looking man does. Jason knows he doesn’t like him, whoever he may be.

“Why don’t you just come out with it and say what you really mean?”

Behind the door, with ears taped closed by stiff fingers and eyes sewn shut by quaking muscles, Jason isn’t aware that Billy’s slammed a palm against the kitchen counter, nostrils flared and protruding vein on the side of his jugular, nor that you’ve merely dismissed a flushed Billy with nothing more but the shake of your head and an apologetic frown etched on your weary face.

Jason opens his eyes and drops his fingers, kneading the fibers of the carpet for a moment, when his bedroom door opens and your bare feet slip through the crack.

Standing before him with the doorknob pressed against the lumbar of your spine as your hands rest on the bronze, you don’t look a day over twenty-two, perhaps you even look a little younger. But, not to your son’s untrained gaze. To him, you and Billy look like just any other boring adult who has presumably completed high school, gotten their degree, and are now living their best course.

Instead, you and Billy are thousands of miles away from those who were meant to support and love you unconditionally, family and even friends alike. You both packed up whatever you could fit in the Camaro on a school night, cashed out whatever savings were available, and set out on a journey to Billy’s hometown.

Your knees sink onto the floor beside your little boy and you look at the mess of scattered miniature blocks. When you pick up a stray Lego and attach it to the clump in front of Jason, he speaks up, “Are you taking the toy back?”

“No,” you shake you head, “It’s yours, baby.”

You envelop him in your arms and kiss his curly crown. “This is the one you’ve wanted?” you ask even though you already know by the amount of begging he squeezed out of his lungs the past month.

“Mmhmm,” Jason nods against your sternum.

He pulls away after another second or so, peering up at you through curls that fall over his forehead. “Are you still mad at dad?”

A little bit, you think. Frustrated, definitely. It’s no longer about the money, especially not after walking in on Jason playing with the guilt-tripped gift. Picking up a few extra shifts is worth it if it means you can pull a few more grins out of Jason. But, no, the frustration comes from watching Billy constantly stomp on egg shells when it comes to being a father.

By no means are you a supermom―you’re still learning how to parent every single day―but at least you aren’t forgetting about your precious baby in the backseat of a car just to abandon responsibilities for a few hours. No, you’ve been holding it together since the minute you sat in the passenger seat and Billy shifted the gear back in Hawkins. It just seems that no matter how much you and Jason mean to Billy, it’s in his nature to rebel in some form―even when he knows the guilt is only a step away.

The acts that keep him from conforming into a father he’d wished he had as an adolescent could be something as mundane as bringing home a carton of low-fat milk when you had specifically said two-percent twice before. Billy just couldn’t get it right, and you didn’t know if it was somehow on purpose or not.

Before you could respond to Jason’s question, Billy enters. Ruby no longer rushes up his neck nor speckles across his cheeks in angry splotches.

Billy’s thick eyelashes flutter towards you and Jason, and he knows that you have every right to feel as you do, to yell at him as you did, and walk away before the argument could escalate to places he doesn’t want to imagine. And, he knows that you had just been a hairbreadth away from speaking it into existence, that Billy had inherited some of the qualities that made him hate his own father in the first place. He doesn’t think he could ever handle that.

He kneels down near the two of you, tucks a loose strand behind your ear, and ruffles Jason’s fluffly head of hair. “Hey buddy, you wanna continue reading the Hulk?”

Billy’s never been a fan of comic books, but Jason enjoyed the noises, the voices, and sometimes the acting that Billy did when he read to him. Max had given her older step-brother a few of her old copies before he left as a gift to her future niece or nephew she’d probably never get to know. She’s just another faceless shadow that will haunt every dark corner Jason comes across.

Your boy shakes his head and reaches out for the blocks he had formed to resemble what he thinks is a fort. “I just want to play.”

Jason goes to pick up the knight with the horse as Billy’s fingers caresses your knuckles before holding your hand in his own. Your gaze meets Billy’s, and somewhere in the blue of his pupils he’s apologizing without further dragging Jason into the mess. You nod and give him a small smile, hoping that Billy can see that you’re sorry too.

The King’s Castle box lays on the carpet a few feet away. Billy reaches for it and pulls out the instructions. “You want mommy and me to help you?”

“Yeah!” It’s the best idea Jason’s heard all day.

You glance back at Jason’s clock. It’s almost seven and you haven’t prepared anything since you’ve gotten a call by Gwen who told you she’d seen Jason in the car by himself in front of Stokey’s, Billy’s and his co-workers’ place to meet. By the time you’d gotten there, Billy and Jason had already left. “What about dinner?”

“I’ll call Domino’s in a bit,” Billy says as he reads some of the instructions.

You pinch Jason’s cheek then begin to gather the stray pieces that surround his bent knees. “You wanna help me get all the pieces together, hmm?”

Soon, all the blocks except for the yellow figures lie in a pile between the three of you as Billy begins describing the pieces needed to begin building the foundation of the kingdom.

You both know that there will be more bumps down the road, even Jason knows these moments don’t last forever. In the following years, Jason will realize the truth, in which imperfections haven’t expanded as he’s aged but that they’ve been sprinkled all over his home all along, waiting to finally be uncovered one by one.

Jason’s grin grows when Billy makes the horse gallop, letting out a horrendous neigh in the process and prompting you to jokingly throw a Lego or two at his head.

Happiness envelops the three, but that cannot be said for tomorrow or even next week without spilling a lie. Something will happen to drag everyone down, and it’ll be up to them to build everything up again. But this, this memory is engraved and will forever stay the same among stains that cannot be scrubbed off.

A/N: Boy, I really lagged on this one, but I’d say I’m pretty happy with the outcome. Leave some love.

Turned Pt2

Decided to do a little second part to this randomness, first part can be found here: https://98prilla.tumblr.com/post/190297629504/turned  but this is able to be read stand alone. This is the events mostly from Logan’s perspective, cause I saw a post saying not enough fics let him have feelings sooooo I decided to change that. 

         “It makes sense, run down, edge of town, plenty of places to hide, Roman, are you even listening? Logan asked, turning to look at his companion, stopping his stream of analytics for a moment.

         “We lost Virg and Pat.” Was the quick reply, and it had Logan whipping around, gaze searching the street as if they would pop out from a bush and yell surprise.

         “Why would they deviate from the group? Virgil especially, he’s always on guard.” Logan replied, a scrap of purple catching his eye. He walked towards it, feeling Roman behind him, tense and ready to spring. Logan crouched, looking at the ground. A patch, matching those that Virgil sewed onto his hoodie, probably hadn’t been stitched on tight enough and had fallen loose.

         “I don’t know. But it looks like we at least know what direction they went. Good eye, teach.” Logan stood, patch tucked in his pocket, acknowledging the praise with a small nod.

         “Let’s hope they left more of a trail. Anything off main leads into smaller side streets and alleys. Nothing straightforward. They could have gone any direction.” He felt his pulse pick up a pace at that thought. He was sure they were fine, Patton had probably spotted a stray cat and wanted to pet it, forgetting they were on a mission and in potentially dangerous territory. And Virgil had followed to make sure he didn’t get into trouble. They were fine. They had to be.

         Roman took the lead as they followed Logan’s tactic of taking only left turns. Most of the off shoots were short or dead ends, and at this point they were doing their best to conserve energy and not full on sprint as they methodically looked down each dim pathway. It had only been minutes, but the tension radiating between Roman and Logan was tight enough it would trip anyone who walked between them, the worry sharp and grating against Logan’s chest.

Then they heard it. A sharp, furious shout. They locked eyes for a single moment, before turning as one and sprinting towards the noise, heedless of any danger. That had been Virgil, and it was close.

Another minute had them pounding into a narrow alley, Logan’s vision tunneling as he saw the two figures on the ground, ears ringing and breath caught in his throat.

Patton was slumped against a brick wall, eyes closed. Virgil was holding onto his shirt, but even from behind, Logan could tell one arm was badly twisted, one leg bending in a way it was impossible for any human limb to bend. His shirt was shredded, red streaks crisscrossing his back. They were late, they were too late. It had been a trap, he should have noticed their absence sooner, should have kept a closer eye on them, should have had a better strategy for finding them, should have done something.

He was the strategist. He was the mathematician, the planner. So why, in all of his calculations, was this never a possibility he’d considered?

“Lo!” The shout cut through his haze, and suddenly everything snapped into focus. He could breathe again, he could hear normally, it was like time started moving once more. He adjusted his glasses shakily and looked to Roman.

“They’re not dead, Lo. Patton got bit. He’s turning. And Virgil’s… well, beat to hell is putting it kindly.”

“I’m not deaf, y’know.” Was the reply from Virgil, but it lacked his usually playful scorn, falling flat against the wheeze each of his breaths came with, the shaking of his hands.

“Right. Of… of course. We need to get them home. Someone needs to be monitoring Patton, in case…” He didn’t finish that thought, didn’t allow it. Because Patton would survive the turn. He was kind and strong and brave, and he could survive the extreme flu like illness that raged through a human when their body was changing. “And I need my medical supplies to treat Virgil’s injuries.”

“No. Not until Pat… I’m not important. I’m not leaving him.” Virgil protested, fire in his voice. Logan knew he must be half delusional from the pain of his broken limbs alone, it was amazing he hadn’t passed out yet himself, and arguing with him was not going to help the situation any.

“ok. We will take care of Patton first. But Virgil? You are important. You are just as important to me as Patton is. And I will not lose either of you today. That is an unacceptable outcome. So, I need you to listen to me and do what I say. Do you understand me?” Logan asked, voice low but intense, putting every drop of fear and worry and terror into it, a minute fraction of that soothed as Virgil nodded once.

“yeah… yeah of course, Lo. I…” Virgil’s breath stuttered as a wash of agony flashed through his chest, and instantly Roman was there, supporting him.

“He’s going into shock. If you take him, I can take Patton. He’s the lighter of the two.” Roman nodded, scooping Virgil up in his arms. He knew it was bad as Virgil didn’t say a single sarcastic, snarky comment, just kept his eyes glued to Patton, face going white from the movement of Roman’s steps, biting the inside of his cheek to keep from crying out.

They put Virgil in the van first, laying across the backseat, head resting against the window. They were as careful as they could be, but any movement made Virgil’s face blanche, his vision flare white. But he still pulled Patton close as the placed him in next, ignoring the pulsing pain from his broken arm as he held him tight, murmuring soothingly to him, stroking his hair, feeling his temperature burning hot, his skin clammy and his breathing shallow. He could feel the small tremors wracking Patton’s body, the fever already eating away at him, and all his own pain was forgotten as he kissed Patton’s soft curls, keeping up his steady, low chatter, ignoring his own exhaustion as the car pulled away.  

Roman was driving, doing his best to go as fast as he could without causing the car to bounce around on the road. Logan had pulled the spare blanket they kept in the car in case of emergency out, wrapping it around the two of them. He didn’t take his eyes off them the whole car ride, making sure Virgil stayed conscious, it was possible he had a concussion and if he fell asleep now, he might not wake up.

Just that thought was enough to make his heart start pounding, his mind lose focus and start to spiral, until he felt a hand on his arm, and looked up to see Roman steering one handed, eyes still firmly on the road.

“They’re gonna be ok. We will make sure that they’re ok.” His voice was low and firm, and usually Logan would scold him about taking a hand off the wheel, usually he would rattle off statistics countering Roman’s words, usually he would clear his throat with a huff of embarrassment before moving onto a different topic.

He found he didn’t have the energy for those options right now, simply giving Roman a grateful, if slightly doubtful, look, unable to formulate words to put his fears into context, because he wasn’t even sure himself what they were besides a profound sense of loss and emptiness and an ache that didn’t end that he could already feel building in his chest, the realization that he would rather claw out his own heart than watch Patton die shooting through him like lightning as they pulled into the drive of their house.

Virgil was just barely conscious, enough that he refused to let go of Patton, but not enough to recognize the irrationality of that action, and it made getting the two of them into the house quite a struggle.

When they finally managed, they settled Patton in his bed, wrapping him in all the blankets in the house they could find to try and break his fever, even the one they gave to Virgil. He was too cold, Logan knew, a side effect of shock still hitting him, but every time he tried to get close, tried to get Virgil to let him look at his injuries, Virgil refused, getting almost angry at the suggestion.

Virgil was sitting on the bed beside Patton, wiping his brow with a damp cloth, ceaselessly talking to him, stroking his hair, squeezing his hand, reminding him he wasn’t alone, despite him being likely unable to hear the words, it brought Logan comfort. If Patton had his loved ones right there, perhaps he would wake up quicker. Perhaps he would hold on harder. Perhaps he wouldn’t-

He cut that thought off with a sharp inhale, turning and stalking out of the bedroom without a word. It hurt him to stand there and watch and be helpless, hurt him that Virgil wouldn’t let him look at his own severe wounds, knowing the longer they went the higher risk of infection, of the bones setting the wrong way, of Virgil himself not recovering. It hurt to look at Patton’s too pale face, cheeks flushed and hair sticky with sweat, it hurt to see the shallow rise and fall of his chest, it hurt to see him, usually so loud and funny and there, so still and not.

But it hurt not being there too, he realized, as he began to pace the living room, hands clasped tight behind his back, head down as he stared at the endlessly repeating carpet, wearing a rut in it. It hurt to not know what was going on in there, even though it was no doubt no different than it had been moments ago, it hurt to think that Patton might wake up and he might not be there, it hurt to think that Virgil could begin showing signs of an illness and he wouldn’t be there to catch it, it hurt to know that nothing changed when he left the room.

His mind wouldn’t stop whirling, wouldn’t stop shouting the statistics and information he’d so carefully memorized about human to vampire transitions, wouldn’t stop telling him what he didn’t want to know, that the survival rate was low in a situation like this, where the turner had been unwilling. That there was nothing they could do but wait for the process to complete. That right now the venom was working it’s way through Patton’s system, altering every single one of his cells, changing and twisting the DNA inside into something other than human, that the process was unimaginably painful, that the body then saw the changed cells as a disease and fought against them, and if the body won out then the victim would die.

He froze. Die. He had been so carefully avoiding that word. Refusing to acknowledge it, because if he didn’t acknowledge it, then it wasn’t real, it wasn’t a possibility, it didn’t factor into this equation.

Patton could die. The world tunneled around him, his breathing too loud in his ears, his heart beating so fast and so loud he was surprised it didn’t tear open his ribcage to escape its confines.

Patton, smiling in the kitchen, making some terrible pun as he pulled cookies out of the oven, making Roman groan and Virgil snicker.

Patton, surprising Virgil with a birthday party, somehow figuring out when it was even though Virgil had never mentioned it, not even Logan had known it was his birthday.

Patton, eyes wide with rapt attention, arms resting on the table, chin resting on his hands, leaned forward, listening and absorbing every word as Logan lectured about the stars, space, his own private hobby being astronomy. And after, Patton asked questions, he’d actually listened, in a way nobody else ever seemed to.

Patton, sweet and kind and soft and always, always seeing the best in the world around him, in the people around him, even when they were ready to give up on themselves.

Patton, dressed in his favorite cardigan, cat hoodie tied around his shoulders, eyes closed, arms crossed on his chest, lying inside a coffin, not breathing, not moving, nothing but an empty shell of what had once been a person.

He slowly became aware of someone talking. The voice was far away, too distant to understand, but he thought he recognized it. It was someone he knew, someone important. Dimly, he registered a rhythm being tapped out against his arm, one he was familiar with, one he’d taught Virgil. Slowly, in fits and starts, he began to copy it, began to try and soothe the hurricane that was his mind, tried to focus on nothing but the steady beat against his skin, the voice drawing ever closer.

“That’s good, Lo. Keep it up. You’re doing good.”

“Well.” He croaked out, and the rhythm paused.

“What?” Roman’s confused voice, then finally his vision came back into focus, and he could see Roman crouched before him on the ground, when had he fallen to the ground, and he focused on his familiar form as he continued to breath.

“It’s I’m doing well, not I’m doing good.” Roman rolled his eyes, but sank back on his knees anyway, not taking his attention away from Logan. Logan realized his face was wet, and he almost wonderingly wiped away the tears. When was the last time he’d cried? He didn’t know. But they were still coming, and he couldn’t stop them, and he almost didn’t want to. “and I’m not doing either of those things, it seems.” He finished, with a choked half laugh, half sob.

“Patton is… and Virgil won’t let me near him and I can’t fix any of it! I’m supposed to be… I’m supposed to know… and I don’t. I can’t. I’m…” Roman was caught off guard. Logan was the most put together, steady person he’d ever known. He’d never seen him this off balance, this emotional, this afraid. In the face of near certain death, he could spout of probabilities and in a split second calculate what course of action would get them out alive.

“Teach-“

“I know! That’s the problem, I can’t… I can’t be optimistic because I’ve memorized the facts, I’ve memorized the likelihoods, I know the outcome, but it can’t… it has to be different, it has to be different, because it’s Patton, not some number, not a… a percent or a textbook, it’s Patton.” He fell silent, a choked sob working it’s way out of his throat and then Roman was holding him, hugging him, something Logan would usually shy away from, contact he usually only tolerated, but now it felt like a lifeline, and he clung to Roman as if the world would vanish if he let go.

“You need to rest up, teach. You’re exhausted.” Roman murmured, and Logan shook his head.

“I’ll be fine. I need to be up, in case something deeper is wrong with Virgil, in case something starts to go… go wrong, with Patton.” He replied. Roman pulled back, concern in his eyes.

“Do you know how long it’s been? You’ve been awake for nearly 48 hours. You’re not gonna be any help if you’re sleep deprived, and you know it.” Logan sighed, wiping his face and readjusting his glasses. Roman was right. He hadn’t realized it had been that long, time was passing oddly for him, what felt like a single minute turned out to be hours, and sometimes an hour was merely a second. Sometimes he blinked and nearly thirty minutes had passed, he knew it was a sign of sleep deprivation, of shock he himself was suffering from, and he could feel the strong urge to close his eyes growing.

“A few hours. Just a few hours. Wake me if anything, absolutely anything, happens, no matter how trivial. And how come you don’t need sleep?” He answered, grudgingly.

“Because I’ve been taking short, well placed naps, not pacing myself to exhaustion. Now get some sleep. If you need anything, you know where to find me.” Logan nodded, numb, the tears having eked the last sense of feeling he could muster out of him, and he pulled himself onto the couch, asleep barely a moment after his head hit the cushions, not realizing that Roman hadn’t agreed to his terms.

           Logan jolted awake out of a dead sleep, eyes wild and heart pounding, the tail end of a nightmare vanishing before he could recall what it had even been about. He looked at the clock with a furious glare, realizing what time it was. Nearly noon. He’d slept nearly 12 hours.

         He lurched up, off the couch, padding quietly down the hall to Patton’s room, forcing himself not to hesitate before he entered the doorway, terrified of what he’d find, what would be there.

         Virgil was still awake, sitting on the bed in the same position, Logan didn’t think he’d moved once. He walked over, tentatively reaching a hand out, placing it against Patton’s forehead. Instantly, his knees buckled with relief and he fell to the floor, lightness exploding through his chest, bursting inside him like fireworks, laughter bubbling up from somewhere inside him he’d very nearly lost. Virgil’s eyes widened, and Logan pulled himself together enough to formulate words.

         “The fever broke. The fever broke, Virg. That means he turned. He survived. He’s going… god, he’s going to be ok.” Virgil slumped back against the bedpost, running his hand through his hair with a long, shaky sigh, a smile breaking across his face.

         “Roman went to get food. Figured we all needed to eat, but none of us would make anything. He’ll be back soon, knew I’d watch him.” Virgil said, voice hoarse, almost gone. Logan nodded, turning a critical eye to Virgil.

         “As soon as he’s back I’m getting you taken care of. No complaints, no arguing, we are going to the living room, treating your wounds, and you are getting some sleep. Patton is going to be ok. If you leave, he won’t disappear.” Logan said, a bit softer on the last sentence, seeing his own fears echoed in Virgil’s face. Slowly, Virgil nodded, deflating slightly.

         “Ok. Sounds, sounds good, Lo.”

I’m Not As Think As You Drunk I Am || Noah & Winn

TIMING: Sunday, May 3rd, 2020, After Midnight LOCATION: Bottomless Booty & Noah’s Townhouse PARTIES: @noah-kalani & @packsbeforesnacks SUMMARY: Two bros, chillin’ in a king bed. (Because of Winn’s dick, see?) WARNINGS: Nudity and tomfoolery.

“It’s just,” Winn started, slurring his words very definitely slightly (he hoped), “I feel for the kids, y’know? They tried so, so, so hard and to get beaten in the last game in overtime? It’s just… unfair.” He’d long since stopped eatin’ the seafood spread out in front of him and Noah. The younger man sat across from him, picking off some truly delicious shrimp. Bottomless Booty was a little kitschy, but Winn kinda liked it. Not a spot he would’ve chosen for a date (not… that this was a date), but the food was very good. And the booze was doin’ the job. “But shit, buddy, I feel like I’m suckin’ up all the air in the room. This is supposed to be about you!” He held up his mixed drink to Noah. (They’d toasted already, but… why not.)

Taking a swig of his third (no fourth?) beer, Noah sat back in his booth, studying all of the slightly sad, and slightly drunk Winn in front of him. He wasn’t quite sure how this celebration “date” had devolved into this. Okay actually, no, that was a lie. He knew exactly how they had gotten there, with three margaritas and fifty dollars worth of crab and shrimp, but honestly? He didn’t really mind it. It had been a long time since Noah had let loose and gotten drunk with a friend. “I know the feeling and it definitely sucks buddy. But at the end of the day a game is a game. Someone has to win and someone has to lose,” he replied with a small shake of his head. “Well, you are paying for this lot.” He motioned to the carnage in front of them, “So, the least I can do is listen to your troubles.” He winked at the other dude, before picking up a stray piece of shrimp and swallowing whole.

Winn felt himself flush at the wink, still holding up his glass to Noah. Stop that, Winner. “Well,” he mumbled, suddenly self-conscious. “Thank you, Noah.” He smiled, soft and loose. “So, don’t think I’ve ever asked ya, but… Why be a vet? I mean,” he dropped his voice low, “you’re, like, part dog, so I get it, but…” He winked back, partly in belated response to Noah’s wink and partly because he was funny, dang it. Winn lowered his glass, finally. It, unfortunately (?), did things to Winn to see Noah take down that shrimp whole, but he pushed it down. What was with him and men and food? Best not to examine it. “Fuck, am I glad we Ubered, bro, I’d be a smear on the highway if I tried to drive now. Not that…” He paused, considering Noah. “I mean, I’m not drunk. Not. Definitely not.”

If this was a normal day, Noah would have noticed the way Winn suddenly flushed red at his wink. But alas it was not a normal day, and flirty Noah was already too drunk to listen to the voice in his head telling him he was steering this ship into uncharted waters. “No problem bro,” Noah replied before picking up his beer and raising it yet again to the other’s very drunk toast, clinking his glass against the others, fingertips accidentally making contact with Winn’s. Oops. Placing his glass down before him, lest he injure everyone around him, Noah figured shoving more food into his mouth would be the next best course of action. “My dad was a vet actually,” he started around a chew, before remembering his manners. “So, I always grew up with animals, even before becoming,” he leaned in, “part dog.” Grinning from ear to ear, he straightened, fingers searching for a napkin as Winn confessed to ‘not being drunk’ “Yeah, and if you’re stone cold sober, then I’m Queen Elizabeth,” he joked, tossing the used napkin playfully at the other man.

Winn, damn him, had a half-thought to hold Noah’s hand as their fingers brushed. Just a little hand-holding between bros. But he restrained himself. Barely. (His hand did, shamefully, chase Noah’s glass. But that was totally fine. Totally.) “Ah,” Winn said, intelligently. “Makes sense to go into the family business.” He had just enough memory, just enough tact, to know not to pursue Noah’s family any farther, at this point. Not while they were drunk. (Not that he was drunk.) “What’s your favorite aminal?” Wait, aminal? “Animal,” he corrected, sheepishly. Noah’s napkin hit Winn’s chest, bouncing down into his lap. Lap. Shit, he had to piss. How had he not noticed? He should bring that up soon. He started to scoot out of the booth, before realizing he’d asked a question of his friend. “Piss?” he said helpfully, listening attentively to Noah.

“It’s cliche I know, but my favorite animal has always been a wolf.” Noah grinned, ignoring Winn’s slight stutter of his words. “Oh Me? No.” Noah shook his head assuming that’s what Winn meant when he mentioned piss. “But I can get the check while you’re doing it?” he asked, trying to be helpful, because, yeah, neither of them probably needed to stay and sink further into a drunken stupor, especially as Winn kinda paused at the end of the booth eyes slightly glazed. Oh boy. Winn was really really drunk wasn’t he? “Come here, big boy,” Noah said motioning for the other man to stand up and come closer to him, plan already in motion. See, Noah was gonna be a responsible drunk. He was gonna get everything paid, and both of them in an Uber, and everything was gonna be a-okay. But first. Money. “Need wallet to pay so we can go,” he grunted, reaching for the obvious bulge in Winn’s ass pocket before realizing. This was Winn. He was grabbing Winn’s ass. A man he had not established these “bro I touch your ass because you touch mine all the time” protocols with. Shit. Noah. What the actual fuck.

Wallet? What was… where was his wallet? Noah had mentioned something about the check. Right. They definitely had to pay. And Winn had to piss. Hmm. Winn stood at Noah’s call, almost trancelike, and walked towards Noah. He tilted his head a bit at “big boy,” even as drunk as he wasn’t, Winn scoffed a little bit. It wasn’t, like… Noah wasn’t small. He could take Winn. Had. Jacked up on Full Moon juice and bein’ pissed that Winn had given him the ol’ sniff. Which, if Winn wasn’t careful, was definitely going to happen again. He knew he wasn’t steady, and as Noah groped at his ass, Winn felt himself sling forward a little into Noah’s personal space. Did he always have to smell good? Fucking hell. But… Why was Noah grabbing his ass? It felt nice, but, like… Noah was, like, strai— Wallet. That wasn’t where his wallet was. That was his phone. Winn grunted low and close to Noah’s ear, and mumbled, “Front.” Thinking that maybe Noah wouldn’t catch the drift, Winn took his hand and placed it on the front of his pants, where his wallet bulged out… He hoped? He really, really hoped. His head leaned into Noah’s shoulder for a moment, as he snickered. He was a mess. They were a mess. This was a good night.

And now it was Noah’s turn to blush, the events unfolding before him like some sort of weird, sexy horror movie. Okay, well, maybe not a horror movie, per se. But it was definitely not Noah’s usual light-hearted, comedic, “Oh, I'm definitely not touching my super hot wolf friend’s dick right now, and having a panic attack because maybe I kinda like it?” genre, that was for sure. Moving his hand from Winn’s crotch, Noah grabbed the wallet, easing it gently out of the other man’s pocket and ignoring the weight on his shoulder. Because, yeah, leave it to drunk as a skunk Winn to make him have a bisexual crisis in the middle of a pirate-themed restaurant and then have the nerve to lean in for CUDDLES. Who did this motherfucker think he was? “Okay, go piss now,” Noah said gruffly, turning the other man around as fast as he could before they scared all the children. “I can handle this,” he said, waving the wallet in Winn’s direction. Hopefully, the other man was just sober enough to do that on his own, because Noah definitely needed a few seconds.

The bathroom, when Winn eventually found it, was somehow also pirate-themed. He was pretty sure he saw a “wipe your booty” sign, which, were he way more sober than he was right now, would be… mildly funny. Since he was drunk, it was hilarious. But. No laughing. Pissing. Right. When he wandered out of the bathroom a couple’a minutes later, Winn noticed Noah sitting at the booth, right where Winn had left him. Man, he had a pretty friend, huh? He should definitely tell him that. Definitely. He slid into the booth next to Noah, pushing the other man into the dividing wall between the booths and the tables in the main area. “Hey,” Winn said, dopey smile on his face, head leaned into Noah’s shoulder. They were super close. Winn loved bein’ close with his bros. Felt good, man. “You’re super hot, bro. You know that? Suuuuuper,” he dropped his voice low, feelin’ like maybe Noah could use some teasin’. Winn hadn’t teased him at all today! “Hot,” he finished, yawning. Noah’s shoulder was super comfy. He could get used to this… Then, because, well, in for a penny, in for a pound, he added, “Baby…” His voice was low, sleepy, a little mumbly. “I’d kiss you so nice.” And then, well. Then, Winn was asleep.

Once the hormones of the moment dissipated and Noah Kalani was able to get a breath of fresh air, he put the rest of his “I am a drunk yet responsible adult” plan into action, starting with motioning the waiter over for the check, and ending with ordering an Uber for the both of them. When Winn beelined for him, Noah should have known what was going to happen next, the older man sliding in and leaning on his shoulder. It had been a long time since anyone had been this, well, physical? No wait, that wasn't the right word. Cuddly? Caring? Gentle? Supportive? to him in a long time, and it was safe to say it was, well, kinda nice. Especially coming from someone who he knew actually meant every word. Even the ones that sent a full body flush down his spine. “Winn?” Noah asked, trying not to blanch too hard, thoughts still spinning of Winn and Kissing, and of Winn wanting to Kiss him. And… how would it even be to kiss a man? But the answer he was looking for never came, because of course Winn Woods would choose now to pass the fuck out. Goddamnit. Shaking all of the thoughts out of his head (because one crisis at a time, Kalani) Noah elbowed the other into submission, somehow getting them out of the restaurant and into their awaiting Uber.

Winn may have been drunk (and, alright, yes, he could admit, now, that he was drunk), but he was still a pretty light sleeper. Noah’s body pressed up against his, trying to guide them out of the restaurant, jostled him enough that he woke up and, bare minimum, held himself up as Noah guided him. He’d have to thank the man later. Had he mentioned kissing? Winn hoped he hadn’t said that aloud; he just wanted to mess with Noah, not freak the other guy out. The world went woozy again, as Noah put him into the Uber and, safety be damned, Winn refused to put on a seatbelt. Not when there was a Noah. He was a wolf, he’d be fiiiiine. The Uber was surprisingly roomy, enough for Winn to slink down in his seat, to tip over to the side, and to have his head land in Noah’s lap. Oops. “I’m sorry,” he said to… Noah? The driver? It was unclear. “We tip well. Five stars. Just lemme nap, pleeease.” Okay, so. To the driver, then. Here, in the darkness of the car, in the quiet, Winn felt… safe. Lo— Ha, no. He reached his hand back, under (?) his body, to grab at one of Noah’s (extremely nice) hands, guiding it to his hair. “It’s still your lap, buddy, just…” He laughed at the joke he was about to make. “Pretend I’m a dog. Pet me, Kalani.” He winked. His eyes were definitely closed, but, like, it was an emotional wink. Noah would feel it. Before passing out again, Winn felt a gentle, tentative hand in his hair. Oh.

While wrestling a whole almost 200 pounds of Winn into the car was relatively easy in the grand scheme of things, getting a seatbelt on him proved even more difficult. “Winn. Stop moving,” Noah said through gritted teeth, before simply giving up and letting the other just fall into his lap. And any other time he’d have just bro-elbowed him back into place, but for now the younger boy let it slide, too tired to care. His drunk mind focused on getting them both home safely. And preferably with the least amount of moving. But of course Winn had other ideas, grabbing Noah’s hand and spouting useless babble Noah’s drunk ears barely registered. “Your buddy okay back there?” the Uber driver asked tentatively, as if only to gauge the possibility of cleanup—or worse, shenanigans—the thought of which made Noah look down at Winn and roll his eyes. Leave it to Winn to make everything awkward again, and then stick him with the cleanup duty. But, for some odd reason, looking down at the man in his lap, he couldn't find it in his heart to be mad at the big lug. In fact, he felt oddly protective, the wolf in him comforted by the fact Winn was close and warm and nice. Was this what it was like? Having a pack? Noah didn’t know, but what he did know is that the brute in his lap wanted to be petted, and he guessed he would oblige. “He’s fine… He’s just drunk,” Noah responded quietly, brushing a stray piece of hair out of Winn’s eyes. Because yeah. Winn was just drunk. Noah was just drunk. None of this meant anything because they were both just drunk.

To Winn’s credit, he was a calm and quiet lapdog. He drifted in and out of sleep, only occasionally shifting his head to nudge deeper into the warmth that was Noah, feeling just… nice. Was he snoring, just a little, or was that a drunken thought? Noah’s hand, petting Winn just as the older man had asked-begged, soothed him, the wolf enjoying it as much as (if not more than) his human self did. The car eventually stopped outside of Noah’s house and the door cracked open, letting the cool spring air in and rustling Winn fully awake. He was… slightly more sober? Decently-slightly. He could make it to a door without any help, definitely. Instead, what Winn said as he half-rolled out of the car was, “Help me?”, stretching his arms and legs out and into Noah’s waiting grip, half-falling on the man. “I could go home, I’m fine,” he said, leaning against the younger man for support. “But I don’t want to...” Wait, had he said that aloud? Eh, fuck it. It was true. “Thankyouuu!” he called back into the car as Noah shut the door.

Feeling the car come to a stop, Noah jerked out of his drunken stupor, fingers intertwined in Winn’s hair, hazy eyes looking out for his aunt’s townhouse. Okay yeah, they were here, cool. Now to get both of them out of the car. Untangling himself from the other man, Noah reached over and pushed Winn’s door open for him, a grin erupting on his face as Winn practically fell out of it on his own accord. Yup, that about summed the night up. Exiting the car himself, Noah walked around to heed Winn’s pleas, pulling the dude upright again almost effortlessly. Winn was lucky he chose to get drunk with a dude who could haul him over his head and benchpress him. “I will not let your drunken ass go home by yourself, maaaate,” he grunted out as he hauled Winn up the steps to his front door, hand digging in his pockets for his keys. “Bros need tuh look out for bros,”he said, if only to fill the silence as he fumbled with the lock. Damn depth perception. Finally, the door swung open, revealing, by the hall light on, one of his large ass water bottles left on the entryway table with a note that said: “Drink me, bitch.” Aunt Leah, man, the Real MVP.  Taking a large swig himself, Noah carefully held out the bottle for Winn, chuckling as he grasped at it like he’d never had water in his entire life. “Thirsty, huh?” Noah snorted before he hauled them further into the house. Usually, he’d dump his friends on the couch, brownie points accomplished, but today? Nah, today he headed up the stairs. Winn had had a weekend it seemed; he deserved a bed.

The next thing Winn remembered was water being tipped into his mouth. He grasped at it, nearly (but not!) dropping it, suddenly aware of how thirsty he was. One chug, and it was gone. “More,” he gasped out, before realizing that was maybe not a good idea. “Wait, no. Not more. Yes more, but not more in me, more near me.” Winn had never been inside Noah’s house — well, not more than the entryway, guiding Noah’s snoring body to a couch, but he knew he was being led up stairs. He wasn’t as sleepy, which was… good, probably. And he felt, like, a little guilty, which meant that he was definitely sobering up. Wolf problems. “Sorry,” he mumbled, but then, louder: “Sorry, really. I’m… sorry.” Oh fuck, was he getting emotional? “This was supposed to be about you, babe, I mean. Buddy. I mean. Fuck.” They landed at the top of the stairs, and Winn suddenly felt a strong urge to hug the other man. So, he did. “Wanna hang with you sober, get to know you, I really… like you, Noah,” he said, smiling against Noah’s neck. “But we gotta stop meetin’ like this.” He let go of Noah for a second, looking into the other man’s eyes. The moonlight cut through a nearby window, and Winn re-realized, for what had to be the millionth time tonight, how beautiful the other man was. Winn leaned in, he could just… No. He chickened out, not willing to take the rejection, not willing to make Noah hate him, no matter how much he wanted to. Instead, he planted a kiss to Noah’s cheek, hugging him again, tightly. “Thank you,” he said, quietly. What for, he wasn’t sure.

Standing at the top of the stairs Noah just looked over at Winn, drunken mind not really comprehending what was going on right now. Winn was sorry? Why was he sorry? “Why are you sorry?” Noah voiced aloud as Winn started hugging him. And then he said the sentence that Noah was most familiar with, something that he had been told by countless women… and now one really drunk bro. I really like you. Oh. OH. Winn liked him. Oh my god. Winn liked him. That's why he was sorry, because he liked him. “Wait, what?” Noah breathed out, slightly confused. Why would Winn of all people like him? I mean, don't get him wrong, Noah knew he had a lot to offer (he was smoking hot and had his life relatively together), but at the same time… his brain trailed off looking at the man in front of him. This was Winn Woods, okay? Like, all hard edges and smooth talking. He was one of the boys, Noah’s boys, and while Noah had no problem with Winn being gay… Man, was he too drunk for this. But then Winn was kissing him, or rather Winn was kissing his cheek, and Noah's brain actually short-circuited right then and there, the feeling of stubble on his face for the first time almost too much. “Winn.” Noah placed a hand on the other’s chest gently before realizing how Winn might take that. A clear stop. A hard no. Rejection. Noah had been on the receiving end of this hand enough times to know what it could be construed as. “Wait, no. This is. I’m not pushing away. Just. I need to…” He trailed off, not really knowing how to vocalize what he needed in the moment, but hoping Winn would understand.

On the plus side, Winn figured Noah didn’t hate him. And, wasn’t… rejectin’ him? What was there to really reject, though? Winn was physically affectionate, he’d kissed bros on the cheek before! And Noah was straight, so, like, he didn’t think Noah would reciprocate the, like, lust for Noah that Winn had. He knew what this was, and he was alright with it! But sometimes, your bro just looks… extremely good. And you kiss him on the cheek, and it’s a pleasant tingle in your lips because your bro’s skin is, like, so warm. Ugh. He was too drunk for this. And not drunk enough. He barely processed what Noah was saying, figuring that he needed no more cheek kisses. Awright. Winn could do that! Easily. He followed Noah to the other man’s room, taking a token stop in the restroom (good, he’d probably need that before dawn!), and sat at the edge of the other man’s bed. Was there a tension in the air? Naw, Winn was probably imaginin’ it. “Sooooo,” he drawled. His voice was still slurring, a bit, but he figured he sounded… better? “Couch? Floor? I can do either, just need, I’unno a blanket or somethin’. Pillow, we’re… not animals.” He winked at the other man, unsure if Noah could even see it in the dim light coming in through the window. “Or, hey!” Winn said, an amazing idea coming to his head. “This bed’s big enough for the two of us. We can, like, squeeze together, it’ll be dope. I’m super warm, bud, I’m a great bed-buddy.” He smiled. Amazing idea. Yes. Winn patted the spot on the bed next to him, rolling over and making room for Noah and pulling off his shirt. (Didn’t want to get too warm.)

Watching Winn back away without a care in the world, Noah breathed a small sigh of relief. He could live another day without having to do some major introspection on his own life and why he kinda wasn’t like all the way put off by Winn’s kiss. Excellent. Leading the other down the hall, Noah pointed to the door on the right of his own and motioned that that was the bathroom, lest Winn need it or anything before opening the door to his own room. He was lucky he chose to clean up his space before going out on his date, (no, wait, that was not a DATE) bed nicely made and no dirty clothes in sight. Placing the small ratted wolf stuffed animal that sat in the middle of the bed on his desk for safekeeping, Noah just rolled his eyes at the other. He was going to let Winn take the bed anyway, but he guessed he could also be in it too. Hopefully… maybe… “Fine. We can share the bed, it is a king-size after all.” He shrugged, trying not to make too much of everything lest he have another heart attack. Cuz you know they were just two bros, sharing a bed after a cheek kiss. Five feet apart cuz they weren’t gay. Or at least Noah wasn’t. Gay, that is. Turning around, Noah pushed it all out of his mind, preferring to think of Winn as one of his footballer friends as he went to rummage around for sleep clothes. Yes, Marco and everyone had slept in his bed before. In a very non-gay way. So, why did this feel any different? “Also, here.” Noah threw a pair of basketball shorts at Winn before stripping out of his jeans and into his own pair. “These will be better than those.” He motioned as he turned around just in time to watch Winn pull off his shirt in a way that should not have made Noah raise an eyebrow but also. Damn Winn. Like, Noah was a jock, and he’d been around plenty of muscled men, but still just. Damn. And also were those… nipple piercings?

Winn ran a sleepy hand down his chest, scratching at the light dusting of hair on his stomach, as he watched Noah strip out of his jeans. Damn. Bro had legs… and, well. Winn wasn’t going to be a creep, ‘course not, but that was a nice ass. Noah was starin’ at his chest and, like, Winn was a good-looking guy, but why would a straight dude be givin’ him the once-over? He ran his hand back up his chest, realizing as he glanced a hand across his piercings. “Oh, right. You didn’t know about the bars! Forgot you were the only one not on campus that day.” He flicked one of them, ‘cause why not, and winked. Winn caught some basketball shorts to the face for his ogling. Was he supposed to… change into them? Awright, sure. Jeans weren’t comfy, ‘specially not when cuddlin’. Winn stood from where he’d rolled on Noah’s bed, and shucked his jeans. Winn had forgotten something important, something he failed to realize as he walked around the bed. “Oh, bro,” he said, stark-ass naked, to Noah, trying to get the other man’s attention. He looked distracted. Weird. “D’you have, like, mouthwash? Or, uh, an extra toothbrush? Booze breath plus dog breath plus mornin’ breath would be… bad, for our friendship.” He laughed, and glanced down, immediately realizing that the emperor had, uh, no clothes. “Shoot.” Winn quickly jumped back onto the bed, grabbing the basketball shorts he’d forgotten, slipping them on, and, well, giving Noah an eyeful, most likely. “Oops,” he mumbled. “It’s, like… bro. Wolves, you know? We get real… comfortable with nudity, and, like, I don’t like wearin’ underwear all the time, ‘specially with jeans, and, um…” Winn knew he was blushing and brought a sheepish hand up to his hair, running it through. “Well,” he started, laughing, “you already, uh, felt it, right? Seein’ it must not be… worse? I am… going to go look for some mouthwash and take a leak and, uh, like, whichever side of the bed you want. BRB.” Well. Embarrassment sure was one way to sober up.

“Why? Did you put out a PSA that you were getting them pierced or something?” Noah replied, rolling his eyes as Winn fondled his nipples in his general direction, the sudden amazement now lost on him after that. Noah picked up his shucked off jeans and t-shirt, folding them neatly and placing them on his desk chair, not paying much attention to Winn. “Yeah, I’ve got mouthwash in the bathroom, and if you want a toothbrush just let me…” He trailed off, eyes finally catching hold of the real elephant in the room. Because surprise, there was now a dick. Winn’s dick, to be exact. Literally, Noah turned around for two seconds and all of a sudden he was transported into Magic Mike. Except with way more tangible DICK. And it wasn’t that he had never seen dick before, oh no no no. He’d seen plenty of dick before. Nice dicks, too. But there was something about Winn's dick that just. Noah could feel his full body flush crimson against his will. Goddamn. He was too drunk for this. But as soon as the dick was there, it was gone, Winn realizing what a predicament he must be putting Noah in and grabbing the shorts (but not before giving Noah a moonful). Hoping that that was the last of it (because, really, how much worse could it get past accidentally seeing your new friend’s unsolicited dick), Noah flopped face first onto the bed, mind just done for the day. “I'm not uncomfortable with nudity,” he groaned out into his pillow, begging Winn for the love of God to stop talking before he made it even weirder. “I just need you to take it all of this down a notch, pal.” Lifting his head slightly, Noah hoped Winn heard his plea before he scampered into the bathroom.

Winn was, just barely, sober enough now to feel, like, a little bit bad. This, probably, wasn’t as bad as the sniffin’ incident, but… well, it wasn’t great. At least, this time, Winn was drunk. He knew he was a lot when drunk, and Noah hadn’t ever had to deal with that before. So. No more drunk Winn for Noah, not for a while. Winn had to prove that he could be, like, a good friend and a fun person to hang around that could literally keep his dick in his pants. He’d just forgotten. Really! (God, he hoped Noah believed him.) Winn swished the mouthwash around, spit, and thought about his life and his choices. Noah hadn’t kicked him out of bed, yet, so… That was a win. Cuddlin’ was still on. This night was still good, he still felt good, but it was a pleasant buzz, not an all-consuming torrent of booze and emotion. He was the epitome of control. Noah had left the light on for him, but was snugly in the bed, toned back to Winn. Winn wouldn’t have taken Noah for a little spoon, most straight guys were weird about that, but Winn was happy for the contact. He turned the light off, toeing off his socks (and, really, how had they stayed on?) and flinging them in the direction of his shirt and jeans. Winn slid into bed and under Noah’s sheets and wrapped an arm around the younger man’s torso, breathing soft onto the skin on Noah’s neck. “Hey,” he whispered, not knowing whether or not Noah had passed out already (he hadn’t reacted when Winn had come back). “Just wanted to say that I had a good time tonight. Thanks for takin’ care of me, and lettin’ me stay over. I appreciate it.” He pulled the other man closer, settling in for the long haul. He yawned. “Good night, bro. See you in the mornin’.” The last thing Winn remembered was the warmth of Noah’s body next to him, the other man’s presence easing both Winn and the wolf into a peaceful and, for once, uninterrupted sleep.

Using the five seconds he had in his bed alone, Noah rolled over slightly, eyes finding the wall. It was safe to say this night was not exactly the one he had planned, you know with the whole surprise kiss, and then the surprise dick. But honestly, as far as drunken nights went this one was really not that bad. Because yeah, what’s a dick among friends. Yeah. Friends. Frowning slightly at that word (for reasons only his subconscious knew), Noah sighed, snuggling his way into the sheets. His tired body was already starting to drift off against his will, but not before he registered Winn sliding in. And normally, Noah would have gently elbowed the other man to his own side, setting clear boundaries. But man. He’d already seen the guy’s dick, and ass. And he was just. He was so touch-starved at the moment that he couldn’t help but melt into the arm around his waist, part of him grateful that he had a bro like Winn to hold him. Even if just for a little bit. “It’s all no problem,” Noah mumbled out, rubbing his cheek against his pillow slightly as he settled. “Night Winn.” And with that, Noah drifted off into his own unconscious, sweet, sweet sleep finally calling his name.

My Brother’s Best Friend (Chris Evans x Reader)

Masterlist | Requests

Summary: Back home in Boston after your final year at Columbia University, you expect an easygoing and relaxed summer. But those plans go right out the window when your childhood crush, Chris, comes back home after filming a big movie, you see it as a chance to maybe have the summer fling you’d always hoped for. But the fact that he’s your older brother’s best friend may complicate that just a bit.

Warnings: swearing, drinking, fluff!!!, & some angst bc im feeling angsty

...

You tap your index finger against the steering wheel to the beat of the song playing off your phone. You can’t help but feel a sense of contentment as you drive down the street you grew up on. Your music cuts out just before the chorus and your ringer goes off over your car’s speakers. You jump at the sound, letting out a soft gasp before you move to turn down the obnoxiously loud ringtone. You glance over at the screen for a moment. ‘Danny’. You tap the “Answer” button and rest your hands back on the steering wheel.

“What’s up?” “Hey, Y/N. You almost here?” your brother calls from his end. “Just pulling up. Why?” you ask as you turn into your parents’ driveway. There are a suspicious number of cars parked on the road in front of your parents’ house. “Oh, thank God. Mom's been buggin’ me about whether you were close or not. Dinner’s soon,” Danny says. You can hear your mother’s annoyed gasp from the other line. “Love you, mom,” he calls, hushing his voice to a whisper. “She’s gonna kill me.” “You’re damn right she is.” You slow to a halt right behind... Mr. Evans’ car. What the fuck? “You guys havin’ a party or something? A lot of, uh, cars on the street, Danny,” you ask, somewhat annoyed. You really just wanted to bring your bags in, say hi to everyone, eat dinner, and go the fuck to sleep immediately. You groan, shutting your car off and pulling your keys out of the ignition. You unplug and cradle your phone between your ear and your shoulder as you pack your things into your purse. You’ll get your other bags later. “Fuuuuuuck, the cars,” he groans. His voice hushes down into a whisper as he continues, “Yes. It was supposed to be a surprise.” You can hear him smack a hand over his forehead.

You can hear the sounds of laughter and chit-chat, as well as music from the backyard as you climb out of the car. You shut the door with a sharp snap and as if on cue, the voices and music die down almost immediately. “I’ll do my best to act surprised, don’t worry,” you snicker, not bothering to wait for a response before you hang up and make your way up to the front door. Of course, only the outer glass door is shut. The red front door is wide open, so you let yourself right in. You play the role of the unknowing surprise party victim and call out to your family members. “Mom? Dad? Danny? Red?” You even throw your dog’s name into the mix for maximum effect. “Y/N?” a voice that, though familiar, you know definitely doesn’t belong to any of your family members calls. You tilt your head to the left slightly, dropping your purse on the table in the front hall, and make your way towards the source. You head right through the doorway leading into the kitchen and see none other than Chris standing there, a beer in his hand. You can feel your heart rate increase almost immediately. That flimsy red shirt’s doing its absolute best to hold itself together under the strain of his muscles. The collar is frayed slightly, probably from being washed over and over. The little nicks in the fabric allow the thin chain round his neck to show. Did he somehow get even more ripped since the last time you’d seen him? He has the sleeves rolled up to just below his elbows. He gives you an excited smile when he has visual confirmation that it is, in fact, you.

“Oh my God, Y/N! Hey!” he exclaims, setting his drink down and moving around the island counter to give you a hug. You take a few steps forward as well, wrapping your arms around his neck as his slide around your waist. “It’s been too long,” you hum, beginning to pull away from the hug. Chris lets his hands linger on your hips for a few seconds before he takes a step back to grab his beer. “I know, I haven’t seen you since, what, two Christmases ago? How have you been, miss college graduate?” he asks, beaming with pride. “Really great. I’m glad to be home for a bit,” you reply.

Chris nods along. “It is nice being home,” he agrees thoughtfully, taking a sip of his beer. “So what’s the plan after your time off? You gonna be producing my next big movie?” He smirks at you, a brow cocked. “We’ll see,” you sigh. “I actually scored an internship at some obscure film company in the city.” “Are you serious? That’s awesome,” he comments excitedly. “It’s alright, nothing too amazing yet but we’ll get there,” you sigh. Chris shrugs, taking another swig of his beer. “We all start somewhere. Who knows? Soon, maybe you’ll be head of Columbia Pictures or something.” “You flatter me, Christopher,” you say, letting out a soft laugh as you make your way past Chris and over to the fridge for your own ice-cold beer. You crack it open with the bottle opener on the counter. “But I think you think too much of me.” Chris is already turned to face you, his elbow propped against the marble countertop. “It’s not flattery, it’s the truth,” he replies sweetly. “You were always writing those insanely good scripts for your school plays... Writing scenes just for Scott and me to perform, for no reason other than so you could feel for the fluidity of the story. You’re talented, Y/N, whether you think so or not.” You raise your brows at Chris, a delicate smile crossing your lips. “Thank you,” you say softly. He only nods. “Don’t thank me, I’m just giving you a reality check, Y/N,” he teases. You roll your eyes, but before you can open your mouth to speak, the sound of the sliding door being thrown open distracts you.

You glance over as your brother storms right in, without closing the door behind him, and he stops dead in his tracks, turning his head to glare directly at you. “Y/N, serious question for you: do you know how old half of the people here are? Because they’ve been crouched real low behind the bushes for, like, quite a bit, just waitin’ to surprise you!” Danny exclaims, glaring down at you. He turns to fire at Chris, who can’t help but let out a short snort at your brother’s over-the-top attitude. “And you! You’re nothing but a little enabler! Get your ass outside!” Danny hikes his thumb towards the back door and Chris, a massively goofy grin plastered on his face, suppresses a laugh as he waves you off and heads towards the door. “Sorry...” You can’t help the lingering grin on your face, though you truly are a tad sorry. “Don’t say sorry to me, say sorry to our arthritic grandfather,” he bites back, squinting at you as he ushers you around the island and out through the sliding door right after Chris. He keeps walking through the crowd of people and back over by where Dodger had chosen to lounge, in the shade under the oak tree with the swing tied to it.

A mess of family members, family friends, and your own hometown friends all leap out from behind the bushes, trees, and fence and scream collectively, “SURPRISE!” with a few stray “WELCOME HOME”‘s. You don’t even have to feign your look of surprise; you’re honestly shocked this many people missed you enough to come to your homecoming party. You let out a scream, laughing into your hands as you recover from your glee. “Oh my God!” you cry out. You glance back at your brother, who has an eyebrow cocked at you. You throw your arms around him happily, turning to wave to everyone as they shout hello’s and ‘we missed you’s. Your parents enter your line of vision with arms open for a hug and, of course, you hug them back. You snuggle between your mother and father in a sea of ‘I missed you’s and ‘I’m so glad you’re home’s. You finally pull away from them and, a soft grin on your face, begin to speak. “God, okay, I will talk to you guys later. I gotta talk to some of the guests,” you say softly. “Thank you... for doing this. It’s nice.” “Of course, of course. Go be a good host,” your mother teases pushing you out towards the party. Everyone had already gone back to their own personal conversations. Well, all except your childhood best friend, Talia. She’s standing there, audibly squealing and therefore effectively alerting you of her presence mere moments before her arms shoot around your shoulders. She’s got you trapped in one of her world-famous hugs. “Y/N!” she exclaims happily. You giggle, returning the gesture. “I missed you so much, Talia,” you exclaim. “I have a lot of juicy college-grade party shit to talk to you about.” “Shit, I... Shit... Can’t wait to....” she trails off. You cock an eyebrow at her, obviously perplexed by her out-of-character behavior. Talia has her eyes darting past you, though. She can’t stop glancing over your shoulder. “Did... did something happen with you and Chris recently?” she asks suspiciously. You eye your best friend with an equal amount of skepticism. “Uh, nothing I’m not aware of. Why?” “On your six... But don’t look too quickly. Make it look nonchalant!” she orders, rather loudly. You roll your eyes, peeking over your shoulder to see Chris eyeing you. His eyes are fixated on you in a way you’d never seen from him before- especially not directed at you. He gives you a soft, flirtatious smirk and, like the cherry on fucking top, winks. You give him a small smile before whirling your head back around to glare at Talia, brows furrowed. “What about him?” you ask. Talia slaps a hand over her forehead. “He’s been watching you this whole time, Danny had to come in to collect you because you were so enthralled in whatever conversation you two were having, he more-than-triple-checked the time of this party just to be sure he’d be here when you got here. He just fucking winked at you, Y/N, and he--” She’s counting each reason on her fingers as she goes. You hold a hand up, cutting her off before she can continue. “Talia, I know Chris more than anyone. He’s one of my best friends and I promise that he’s just a big flirt. He likes to flirt.” “I’m just saying, you two have always had such amazing chemistry that I’d be surprised if I didn’t get a Save the Date for your wedding in the next two years,” she snickers, taking a sip of whatever concoction she’d stirred up in her solo cup. “I still have that sketchbook where we drew up our own personal wedding plans. I could dust it off and hand it to Chris; he’d get the hint.”

You open your mouth to speak, but immediately bite your tongue as your brother’s arm slings around your shoulder. He leans against you, forcing you to lean a bit more to the right to keep straight. “We gossipin’?” he teases. Your roll your eyes, pushing his arm off of you. “Mind your business, Daniel,” Talia interjects. Danny feigns a look of pain, a hand to his chest.  “But I’m sooo nosey... Please share?” You give Talia a pleading look and she takes the reigns, understanding fully. “She’s just pissed that her parents invited the Robinsons,” she snickers. You have to hand it to her, it’s believable.

Back in elementary school, you unashamedly beat up the eldest Robinson boy when he wouldn’t stop teasing you about your braces (yes, you had braces). He deserved it, yes, but you had broken the poor guy’s nose.

You nod along with Talia’s story, eyes darting over towards Chris once again. Danny eyes you suspiciously, fully aware of where your eyes are, but doesn’t comment on it. “Okaaaaaay,” he murmurs. “Well, I’m sure Eli Robinson isn’t planning on bullying you anymore, so buck up and talk to the rest of our guests!” “You never know. He might notice some teensy, tiny flaw, somehow, and start throwing hands,” Talia snickers. Danny rolls his eyes. He lets his arm drop from around your shoulders and calls Chris over. You glance over your shoulder as he gets up from the blue lawn chair slowly and starts heading over. Dodger pads up behind his master as he nears you. You whip your head back around to give Talia a pleading look, but she’s got her expectant eyes on Chris as he nears. ”Yes! Yes! Yes!” she squeals. “We haven’t gotten a chance to catch up with him yet!” No. No. No. No. No.

“Yeah?” Chris’s soft voice asks as he plants himself on your left. Your so-called best friend grins up at him like a fool as Danny, turning to Chris, begins to speak. “Can you babysit? Y/N’s afraid she’ll fistfight Eli if not properly supervised.” “Uh,” the blond glances down at you, a brow cocked as he takes a swig of his beer. “Yeah, I mean, any excuse to hang out with Y/N.” You shudder. Danny cocks an eyebrow. “This was supposed to be a punishment. I’m supposed to be killing two birds with one stone.” “What did I do?” Chris demands, raising his voice with a laugh. Talia still has that idiotic grin plastered on her face. It tells you that she remembers Chris and Danny’s banter just as vividly as you. “You’re sittin’ over there, obviously hung up on some mystery chick, and you won’t even tell me anything about her. You’ve been dropping vague comments about her for the past week and it’s getting annoying! Even Dodge’s pissed! Right?” You feel your heart drop as Danny glances down at Dodger and receives a sharp bark in response. “He said no,” Chris replies, obviously tense.  “Well, Dodger is a compulsive liar. I don’t know why I looked to him in the first place,” Danny retorts. Chris rolls his eyes, easing back into a comfortable posture as your brother continues on. “If you’re not gonna tell me anything about the girl, drop any hints about Age of Ultron, or do sports with me, what’s the point of being bro’s with a famous guy?” he sneers teasingly, his voice dropping into his frat boy impression when he says ‘bro’.

They joked like this all the time, especially since Chris got launched into stardom. Really, they loved each other. They were best friends. Danny was one of the many people outside of his family that Chris felt kept him grounded. And, well, Danny joked that Chris was just another guy to slowly schmooze into buying him a car, ‘like those YouTuber kids do’.

“God, where would you be if I hadn’t made it big?” “Playing Captain America, probably,” “That right?” Chris quips. You sigh. “Yeah. And probably gettin’ the girl, unlike you.”

Chris shakes his head. “No, trust me, you wouldn’t want her.” Danny narrows his eyes at Chris, an uncomfortable silence hovering over the four of you. Dodger whines impatiently before he nuzzles up to your leg. You reach down to pat him gently before he prances off, probably to attend a more... jovial conversation.

“D-Danny’s just being an asshole, Chris,” you stammer, trying to smooth over how uncomfortable this encounter had become. Talia sees this and speaks up, “... And this asshole is gonna drive me to get more alcohol since I’m sorta drunk and he is not.” Before Danny can come up with any defense, Talia grabs him by the forearm and yanks him towards the side gate. You glance up at Chris. “Sorry,” you say softly. “You’re his baby sister. I get it. Remember how much I used to mess with Scotty back in the day?” He shrugs. You let out a soft laugh. “I don’t remember anything as vividly as I remember when you convinced him to pee his pants on the front lawn,” you tease. Chris groans audibly. “It was so mean,” he says, trying to remain serious despite his laughter.

He points down to your half-empty beer. “Want another?” he asks. You chug down the remainder of your drink and reply with a short, soft-spoken ‘yes’. He grins. “Attagirl.” You follow him through the crowd, weaving between conversation circles, and up onto the patio, both of you dropping your empty bottles into the recycling bin as you make your way over to the oversized cooler. Chris kneels down and peels it open. You follow suit and the two of you gaze into the ‘Adults-Only’ red cooler expectantly. “Pick your poison,” he says softly, reaching for another beer. You shake your head. “Nothing’s jumping out at me,” you sigh, shaking your head. Chris lets the cooler close with a soft thud. “Well, now we have some thinkin’ to do. What would you want to drink for your last meal?” You lean back slightly, taken aback by how quickly he’d turned the conversation into a hypothetical in which you were on death row. “Uhm,” you ponder this for a moment before responding. “Somethin’ much stronger than a measly 8% beer.” You run your fingertips along the circular curvature of the bottom of his beer bottle. You don’t mean for the gesture to be so... obscene, somehow, but it is. Chris’s cheeks flush red. He stumbles over his words for a moment. “Wh-W-Wh... What do you have in mind?” he asks, swallowing hard. You cock an eyebrow. The man who can’t be moved is running full-speed into whatever he thinks you have planned. “Whiskey,” you reply, taking a step back. You make your way past him, shoulders brushing as you head through the sliding door and into the kitchen. Chris follows, like a lost puppy.

You sashay around the island counter and find yourself a glass. “Want some?” you ask, glancing over at Chris as he closes the sliding door behind him. He nods, setting his beer down on the counter absentmindedly. You reach up for a second identical glass and make your way over to the small alcohol tray and peruse for the exact whiskey you're looking for. You pour Chris’s first and hand it to him before pouring your own. “Thank you,” he says softly, holding his glass up. You give him a lopsided smile as you clink your glass with his and you both down your drinks. You pour another for each of you. The combination of your first beer and a glass of whiskey sends a familiar warmth through your veins. You let out a shaky breath. “Can I ask you something without it coming off strange?” he asks softly. You gaze up at him as you lean forward on your elbows over the island counter. He stands still on the opposite side, between two of the barstools. “Maybe. Ask away.” “Do you have a boyfriend down in New York?” he asks. You feel your body tense up, but you don’t let your being caught off-guard show through. “No, I don’t,” you purr, doing your best to keep a poker face. “Is this... mystery gal anything serious?” Chris watches you for a long time, throwing back his second drink. “She could be,” he replies, swallowing rather hard. You shake your head. “Crying shame,” you reply, straightening out and finishing off your drink. You can hear the soft sounds of the Teskey Brothers playing even from inside the house. “Why’s that?” You ignore his question, moving right ahead with yours. “Do I know her?” “Who?” “The girl,” you reply suspiciously. Chris shakes his head. “If I won’t tell Danny, what makes you think that I’d tell you?” “Because I love my bother, but he’s an idiot and you know it.” Chris lets out a hearty laugh. “Yeah, I guess you’re right. Yeah, you know her,” he says softly. You shake your head, smiling despite your heart aching. “Oh my God, just tell me already,” you practically beg. Chris sighs, setting down his glass with resignation. “She... I don’t think I should...” he says softly. “I don’t know if I’m ready for everyone to know about it yet. I’m not sure it’ll happen.” You gaze up at Chris with resignation. You know you’re not gonna get an answer out of him, so you yield. “I bet. Well, I’m gonna head back out, okay? I really don’t want a babysitter all day,” you reply sharply, not really listening when Chris retorts with some silly comment.

...

The homecoming party goes on for a few more hours before people start saying their goodbyes. You try not to make it obvious, but you are overjoyed that you get to sleep in your old bed again. You see Talia chatting with Danny in the hallway by the bathroom and you, without another word, shut the door behind Mrs. Robinson and make your way upstairs. You drag your feet somewhat as you make your way down the familiar hallway and finally stop in front of your old bedroom door. It’s cracked open slightly and your bedside lamp is on, to your surprise, so you push the door open a little further to see Chris gazing down into one of your photo albums. “You lost?” you singsong. Chris jumps about ten feet into the air, spinning around to face you. “S-Sorry, Y/N, I just... I remembered you had these. I should’ve asked, I know, but--” You hold a hand up to cut him off as you move to sit on your bed. “You’re acting so jumpy, Chris...” you comment. He sighs, shutting the dark blue photo album and pushing it back into its spot on the shelf. “I guess I am,” he agrees, sitting on the bed beside you. He’s silent for some time after that, gazing at his shoes as though they were the most interesting things in the world. You nudge his shoulder with yours to get his attention. He glances up at you and gives you a soft smile. “What’s up? C’mon, talk to me,” you say. “What do you mean?” “Don’t play stupid. I’ve known you my whole life.”

He nods. “Yeah...” “So tell me what’s been on your mind,” you say, laying a head on his shoulder. “I’m a really good listener, I promise.” Chris gives you a look, his breath hitching in his throat for a moment. “This girl, I’ve known her forever. Hell, I’ve liked her like this for a few years now. I’m just afraid it’ll--” “Ruin it if she doesn’t feel the same,” you sigh. Chris nods as his fingers lace in yours. It surprises you, but you don’t comment on it. You don’t want to spoil the moment. “Exactly...” he breathes. You watch his chest rise and fall rhythmically. Your heart rate rises steadily. “She probably does,” you say simply. Chris glances down at you. “What do you mean?” “There’s no reason she wouldn’t like you, Chris. You’re a sweet, funny, talented mama’s boy who believes in equality. Also, you’ve got a great ass and you play Captain America. If Tumblr loves you, then chances are she will, too,” you say thoughtfully, doing your best not to stumble over your words. Chris doesn’t say anything for a long time. He turns to face you a little more, one leg folded on the bed and the other over the edge of the bed. “Y/N,” he says softly. You mirror his position, your knee pressed against his. “Yes?” “Can I do something stupid right now?” he asks. He’s nervous. You’d never seen him this way before. “Maybe,” you reply, a sly grin on your face. Chris leans forward, eyes fluttering shut. You close yours as well, leaning in for a moment you’d only admitted to Talia about dreaming of. Your lips inches from one another’s, he pauses. ”You’re okay with this?” he asks. You nod. “I’m gonna need you to use your words, little lady.” ”Yes,” you reply firmly. Chris’s hand is on your cheek in an instant, steadying himself as he presses a kiss to your lips. Your arms shoot around his neck, his scruff scaping gently at your soft skin as you kiss him back, your entire body heating up. You feel Chris’s heart pounding against his skin as you press your chest flush against his. Just when his hands slide down to your waist, you begin to feel his innate dominance take over. He pushes you down onto your back, onto the bed. His hands slowly make their way up from your hips to your hair, which he tugs rather aggressively. But you’re no sooner pried apart by the sound of Danny’s voice echoing down the hall, Talia’s giggling along. Chris sits up straight, hands folded on his lap. You reel back into reality and leap forward for the photo album. You flip it open to a random page as you sit back down beside Chris, feigning a laugh. Chris understands and relaxes, pointing to a picture and asking some dumb question. Talia and Danny make their way over to your bedroom and stand in the doorway like proud parents. “Wouldja look at ‘em?” she hums. “Seems like just yesterday he was spraying her with a hose while she was wearing a white t-shirt.” “That was her to him, Daniel,” Talia snickers. “God, you’re the worst,” you glower, narrowing your eyes at Dennis the Menace as an all-powerful duo. “We can hear you,” Chris comments. “No dip, doofus,” Talia giggles. “Get out of my room, Danny!” you exclaim, getting to your feet. “I’m not in your room, Y/N!” Danny shouts back in a mocking tone, pointing down at the floor around your doorframe. “This is your room.” “Mooooom!” you roar, stomping your foot. “Daniel!” your mother calls from somewhere in the house. “I’m not in her room!?” “Danny, listen to your mother!” Mr. (Y/L/N) shouts from his bedroom, just down the hall. “Alright! Alright! I yield!” Danny cries, taking another step back. “Talia and I were just wondering if you guys wanted to go out back and start a bonfire. There are a lot of people from high school who couldn’t make it to dinner that wanted to see you today.”

You glance over at Chris and he shrugs. “You gonna stay?” “Yeah, sure. I’ll get Scott and Carly to come back,” he says, pulling his phone from his back pocket. You glance up at your brother, slamming the photo album shut. “Sure,” you reply. Danny nods and heads out down the hall, already sending out a mass text. But Talia doesn’t move. “Holy fucking shit,” she says softly. You cock an eyebrow at her before following her line of sight to Chris’s... ahem... prominent erection. Chris glances up, confused at first, but soon a realization washes over him. He yanks the photo album from you and presses it over his crotch sheepishly. “Please don’t tell Danny,” he begs.

Black Ice

or read on Ao3

Ice chips smash against the glass if the windshield. It's snowing, almost hailing it’s coming down so hard, and it making it really hard to see. Red Hoods driving, gloved hands holding onto the steering wheel so tightly his fingers ache. The tires look traction for a moment, skidding on a pitch of black ice before the vehicle re-centers.

Jason hisses through his teeth, this was not how he had thought his night would go and he was starting to regret ever stepping into the field. Bruce had told him not too, practically attempted to ground the man when he had tried to leave. (Batman has taken an awful beating not three patrols ago and was still on medical leave, huddled away in bed and under Alfred’s watchful eyes, and was not a fan of those patrolling without him capable of helping.) 

“Someone’s gotta fight your war, Bruce.” Jason had snapped. Bruce’s brow had lowered more in response, his eyes narrowing as he held his ground.

“Not tonight, not in the storm.” He had growled.

Jason shook his head, “crime doesn’t give two shits about having snow days.” He had left without another word.

Of course that entire conversation had been before he knew the brat was going to stow-away. The little demon had been in house arrest anyway, probably hadn’t eaten his vegetables or something, and wasn’t supposed to be on the field, especially without supervision. 

Still, Damian had appeared at Jason’s side halfway through patrol, scowl in place and hands already curled into fists. He hadn’t even had the decency to give Jason an option, just sauntered past him and climbed into the passenger's side of the Bat-mobile. 

So now was Red Hood not only zipping through the city unsteadily on a sheet of ice but he was carrying precious cargo. 

Just fan-fucking-tastic.

He had a weird relationship with the kid, a distant one. They didn’t really talk much, just a couple times during patrol or when Jason would come by the manor for a hot meal from Alfred. The brat was always off putting and frankly a little skittish from what Jason had seen. At home he kept his space, never really talking to anyone unless he was instructed or first talked to. Tell tale signs of past abuse, at least in Jason’s experience. 

On patrol though, Damian was a different person. He was strong willed and had a drive that Jason admired, even if it was a little suicidal, and he was good. He knew nearly as many different fighting styles as Bruce and he had his technique nearly perfected. 

He was inconsistent though.

Some nights the kid would let completely loose, fists and blood flying angrily, without a shit for anyone’s opinion on the matter but definitely with purpose. Other nights though, he almost pulled his punches, a dangerous thing when taking on opponents three times your size. Damian would be looking over his shoulder these nights, as if he was trying to gauge the reaction of whichever other hero he was with.

Jason’s didn’t say anything about these nights, about the skittishness or the subtle flinches, but he wondered if anyone else had noticed it and, if they had, if they had paid it any mind. Dick or Bruce needed to give the matter proper attention, It wasn’t Jason’s job. 

And neither was babysitting.

“Would you stop messing with the controls!” Jason snapped for the thousandth time. The kid was starting to irritate him, really irritate him. He was snappier than usual and couldn’t keep his sticky fingers off of the damn controls.

Damian shot him a glare, eyes so heated they looked like they had come straight off of Bruce himself, and flicked another switch on the console. Something near the rear of the Bat-mobile chinked before Jason felt the accelerator kick up a notch. 

“What the fuck did you just do?” He hissed.

Damian glared again, “getting us back faster, Todd,” he snarled. The kid reached his arm out again then, going for another button on the dash. Jason moved quickly, hand flying out to catch the offending arm before the stray bird could do any more damage. The weather was picking up, ice and snow beating down, and the roads were becoming slicker. They needed to get home soon, yes, but each in one piece.

It was because of this that he hadn’t seen the shininess of the road ahead of them, that he hadn’t had the proper time to break or at least slow the car down enough to take proper control. The tires hit a slippery patch of black ice, the rubber squealing and the vehicle moving harshly to the left on its own accord.

Jason hurried to right the Bat-mobile’s direction but even with his best attempt he didn’t have enough time. They were on the long stretch of road between the heart of the city and the manor, each side of which was lined thickly with trees. The road itself was narrow, barely big enough for two cars and the Bat-mobile had a width larger than just one. 

The front of the car had smashed into a cluster of trees in seconds. 

The hood of the vehicle crunched inwards, as it was designed to do in order to prevent major injury, and the airbags exploded to life. Glass shattered into millions of miniscule fragments and debris rained down on both of them. Something popped behind them before the engine sputtered out. Smoke from the car and dust from the canvas airbags flooded the air around them. 

“Fuck!” Jason coughed, sharp and loudly before reaching for the door which rested uneven on its hinges. His ear rang.

By some miracle, even with all of the damage, he was able to pull himself out of the car with minimal injury. His shoulder felt dislocated and his face hurt from the impact of the airbag but all in all, he was stepping away from a major car wreck with nothing more than a serious case of whiplash. 

He waved a hand in front of his face to try and clear the air and shook his head to rid himself of the ringing in his ears. What the fuck had even happened anyway-

Oh shit, Damian.

“Kid?” Jason called, hurrying to the passengers door of the vehicle, he had to go around the back since the front was flush against the foliage.

His first cause of worry was the car door that had settled five feet from the vehicle itself, hinges torn straight from the metal and bent as if Superman had done the damage himself. The second was that despite this fact, Jason still couldn’t see into the passengers side.

The door frame had collapsed downward and the mix of the that, the airbag, and stray fragments blocked his view of Robin entirely.

The lack of response was Jason’s third cause for worry. 

“Kid?” He asked again, concern becoming evident in his voice. Perhaps Damian was just playing tricks on him, the kid was probably fine, sitting in his little cocoon and completely unharmed. It wasn’t unusual for the little demon to play ruthless tricks like that.

Still, Jason hurried in his approach, his large boots kicking the quickly building snow aside. He hurried to the side of the door, working on a way to extract the kid from the entanglement of car parts. 

He could smell blood, and operated with carefully measured movements.

He choked on a gasp when he finally caught sight of the brat. He was awake, if barely, eyes opened in small, glossy slits. His uniform was a canvas of dark and light red, the mixture of blood on the fabric. 

Jason got to work quickly. 

Damian’s boot had caught somewhere in the foot-well and prying it out had not exactly been a pain free experience.

Something had also gone wrong with Damian’s airbag, a fragment of the dashboard had caught on it, and the long, sharp piece of plastic had impaled itself into Damian’s shoulder. Something else, probably debris, had swiped a large gash across the kids lower torso.

The mix of injuries had the kid nearly unconscious.

He left the plastic where it was, knowing to wait until there was proper medical available before removing such a large object, it wouldn't do either of them any good for the kid to lose more blood. He then carried the kid away from the hissing -and still smoking- vehicle (incase a gas leak caused something to ignite) as quickly and gently as he could Jason lowered them both carefully to the ground. 

Jason considered his options, they were still a good mile or two from the manor and even if that was a walkable distance, Damian was in no condition to be jostled. Instead, he reached for Damian’s ear and extracted his com, since calling for help seemed like the best option and Jason’s own com had been knocked out from the impact of the crash.

“This is Red Hood, Robin and I were in a crash about a mile and a half north of the cave. The kid is critically injured,” he said once the device was firmly in his ear. 

He heard nothing but static from the other end.

Perhaps the com has been damaged in the crash, or maybe there was no one manning the lines tonight, since no one was supposed to be patrolling in this weather in the first place. That included little birds, Jason thought somewhat bitterly.

“W-wouldn’t have h-happened if-“ Damian suddenly said, pausing to cough wetly, “i-if I was d-driving,” Damian choked, a hint of tease to his tone. Jason glared down as him, pressing more firmly on the kids stomach wound, trying to stem the sluggish bleeding. He couldn’t help but send a glance down to the kids mangled foot. 

“Quit talking,” Jason snapped. “And keep your blood inside of you!” He said, hoping more and more desperately that help was close. The snow around them was quickly turning red with Damian’s blood and, at least compared to Jason, the kid was the size of an infant, he didn’t have blood to spare.

“Got to- got to stay ‘wake s’m how,” Damian slurred, still bent on arguing even with holes littering him and a chunk of plastic protruding from his shoulder. 

Despite the situation, Jason chuckled, “right kid, yeah.” 

Damian was silent after that though, quiet except for his labored breathing, masked eyes flickering around the area. Jason continued to apply pressure, switching between stemming the bleeding and using materials from Damian’s utility belt to field dress his wounds. It wasn’t until they were both drenched and shivering tha someone spoke. 

“Th-thank you.” Damian stuttered, wincing slightly. 

Jason’s fingers paused for a moment. “For what, kid?”

Damian gave a wet cough, “a-assisting me even th-though I caused the w-wreck.” 

Despite himself, Jason found himself saying: “don’t sweat it, the weather caused the wreck, kiddo. Not you.” 

“M’not a child.” 

“That’s the Damian I know and love. Glad to know that your head’s okay,” Jason said. Instead of soothing the kid though, Damian stiffened before peering up at his older brother. 

“W-what?” He stuttered. 

“I’m glad your head’s okay?” Jason asked.

“Buh-before,” Damian rasped.

Jason thought about what he had said, he had just been trying to joke, add some comedic relief to the situation. It was a common expression too, that's the Damian I know and- oh. “Wait kid, you didn’t- you know I love you right?” He asked. Because, yeah, the bats weren’t the most affectionate type but they weren’t monsters. At least everyone had been told they were loved at least once. Was it a possibility that Damian hadn’t been told that by anyone other than Dick? 

Damian didn’t answer. 

“Dames, we all love you,” Jason was quick to say. “Even if we’re all emotionally constipated. Dickies not the only one that cares for you, kiddo,” He promised, silently cursing himself. He had known that he should have stepped in sooner, that he should have said something to Bruce about treating Damian like an actual kid every once in a while, about inviting him into a room and telling him -as straightforward as possible- that he loved him, because even for all his stubbornness, it was obvious that Bruce loved Damian. He would have to talk to the man when they got back- which would, hopefully, be soon.

“I,” Damian spluttered, “I- thank you, Todd.” He said, at a loss for words. Still, a thank you from the great “blood son” was as close to an admission of love as one could get from the boy. Jason allowed himself a small smile in response, couldn’t let the kid make him too mushy-gushy after all, can’t have Dick out of a job. Besides, the revving of an engine and the squealing of wheels prevented him from replying with any actual words. 

They both looked down the road, in the direction of the manor. Large black snow tires carried an older Bat-mobile model towards them, barreling through the two feet of snow with ease. Sitting in the front seat, fully uniformed and looking every ounce of Wayne, was none other than Cassandra. 

Jason looked down with a full grin this time and patted Damian’s uninjured shoulder. “You’re gonna be just fine, kid.” 

Monsoon

Here you go @thelucariosfish!

_________

In the tall, tan grass of the dry savanna laid a seemingly sunbathing Cheetah, camouflaged almost completely thanks to the fur that covered most of his body. The darker spots and even the messy chestnut hair the big cat had didn't hinder his ability to remain camouflaged at all. In fact, these aided him to fit into the earth tones of the dry savanna. While the sun felt good soaking into the demi human's skin, he had his eyes focused on the small group of gazelles grazing in the dry grass nearby. They seemed to have arrived earlier than expected for the rainy season. Jay could hardly wait himself. It's been hard finding a water hole to keep hydrated under the intense heat of the sun, especially with the lions and stronger animals than he hogging it all for themselves. Jay watched as a gazelle strayed from the group, his tail flicking eagerly as he wanted for the right time to strike.

Given that he was on his own and finding territory was hard, worse to find a watering hole, he decided to do the most foolish thing any cheetah, demi-human or not could do… He decided to try and talk to a lion. Bigger, fiercer, angrier cats than he. Even a female could take him down easily if they somehow got their paws on him. But what choice did he have when his adoptive parents had passed from old age? The old hyenas had taught him as much as they could about life as a cheetah through their experiences with them. He wasn't used to being in the norm anyway. He had to do what he can to survive. Of course he steered clear of the baser lions and headed for a small group of demi-human lions. In fact, it was so small of a group that was only two persons. A lion and a lioness. That didn't mean that the sole lion with a dark mane, borderline red didn't pounce on him immediately, snarling at him as he held him down with his large paws.

The gazelle strayed farther from the herd and closer to him. He licked his lips as he tightened his crouch, ready to pounce. The gazelle wandered even farther from the herd and even closer to the waiting predator. Finally, Jay saw his opening and shot out, startling the gazelle into a run as the others rushed away for safety. Jay was on its tail, keeping up no problem as he worked on getting closer. He kept up with each sudden turn to try and throw him off, paws beating roughly against the dry plains as he kept going. He was starting to get tired through, felt it in his muscles with each fast step of his paws. The gazelle started to gain distance. Jay smirked as he chased it still. He may be getting tired but that gazelle wasn't about to get away. He darted left before the gazelle could, keep it right in the right path. They were approaching even more tall grass.

Suddenly, the lion and lioness jumped out of the grass roaring at the gazelle and startling it, leaving it to skid as it tried to change direction. That was all the opening Jay needed. He pounced at the gazelle from behind, sinking his claws into its hide and biting into its back. Before the gazelle could think about trying to escape, it had the thick fangs of the lion in its neck, the lioness helping Jay hold it down. Suddenly, the lion jerks back, snapping the gazelle's neck and securing their meal. Both Jay and the lioness held onto the gazelle as the life left it then only relaxed a bit once it was still.

"For a second there, I thought you were losing your game." Kai says then licked the blood away from his thick fangs.

"So you think." Jay huffed as he pulled back, licking the claws.

"We don't have time to chat. The hyenas will be here any second now." Nya says with annoying, the lioness sniffling along the animal's back then picking a spot to sink her fangs into.

Both lion and cheetah shared a look before joining her, enjoying their catch. By the time the hyenas do arrive, they've eaten almost everything already, leaving nothing back but scraps and an occasional bite of meat. They walked away from the more primitive versions of the hyenas, letting them fight over their leftovers as they headed towards their shared den about a mile back. It was a shallow cave located in the side of a small, rocky hill and was their shared home for the past three months. Jay recalled fondly when he came here, directly to their home to discuss. 

_

The angry lion with burning brown eyes looked down at the cheetah with a snarl, thick fangs on display as his paws pressed heavily into the cheetah's shoulders. Everything in Jay screamed to run but to run was certain death in the near future. So he pushed past instincts and spoke.

'H-hey! No need for the hostility! I'm friendly! I promise!' Jay says and the lion squinted down at him, his growls only quietening slightly.

'What do you want?' The lioness' voice was low, clipped and cold as she walked over on her hind legs, her fur slightly darker than the average lion, almost matching the reddish brown of the lion's mane.

'Uh. Could you uh, let up a bit first?' Jay asked the lion nervously and his snarl was a clear no.

'Talk or you'll become lunch.' The lioness says impatiently and Jay winced once the lion's grip on his shoulders tightened.

'Ok! Ok!' Jay was quick to surrender then swallowed. 'I want to join your pride.' He managed to say as seriously as he could.

Both lions paused, sharing a look to see if they heard the same thing- the large lion over him made his first humane sound: he laughed. Loud and hard. Jay tried not to let himself get angry but the parts of his spotted face not covered by fur was getting red with his irritation.

'Are you done?' Jay asked drily after a while and the lioness started to laugh too, realising that he was serious.

This only rubbed Jay even more raw. Was he really that laughable as a cheetah for them to completely turn his offer down like this? He had always been different from the few baser and demi cheetahs he's come across before but he hadn't thought the difference would be so much for these two to all out laugh at his face… If that's the case then… He can kiss the promise he made to his adoptive parents about staying alive goodbye.

'You can't be serious.' The lion finally spoke around a laugh and Jay glared stubbornly at the larger male.

'So what if I am?' He asked, tilting his chin up stubbornly.

'Oh he really is serious.' The lioness says with light amusement in her voice.

'Last time I checked, you were a cheetah.' The lion pointed out.

'Yeah? So what of it?' Jay asked and the lion blinked at him then leveled him with an unimpressed look.

'What do you even mean. You're a cheetah. We're lions. Only lions can join prides and you aren't one. Either way, we're fine on our own.' The lion says and Jay frowned.

'But isn't hunting with just two of you harder? I could help! I'm super fast!' Jay prepositioned and the lions shared a look again.

'And what makes you think you have what it takes to hunt with us? If you need to seek unhelpful or protection or whatever, what good are you to us? You'll only drag us down. And even so, we don't need anyone else in our pride and that's that.' The lion says then let up the cheetah. 'Now scram before I change my mind.' The lion says with an aggravated growl.

Jay got to all fours, thinking quickly. He can't let this opportunity pass him. He has to convince them somehow.

'I'll prove I can be useful-'

'Look. We know the only reason you're here is because you want something from us. Not that you want to join us.' The lioness says, crossing her arms as she flicked her tail back and forth. 'What is it? Territory? Prey? Water? Pro- oh.' She stopped once she spotted the visible tense in Jay's body language once she mentioned water.

'So it's water, huh? Of course.' The lioness chuckled. 'This deep into the dry season, a waterhole with water still is a blessing for any creature.' She says then huffed.

'I'm surprised you didn't just bypass us completely and drank your fill. What? Want to settle down? Too bad. We aren't too keen on sharing out territory.' The lion went from amused to threatening.

Jay's situation was going south quickly. He had to think, and fast. He looked around quickly then looked back at them both then paused, looking at their fur.

'But you do need help hunting.' Jay insisted, regaining his courage, keeping his grin off his face when they looked struck. 'Just let me try for a while. I'm not intrusive! You won't see me around at all outside of helping you guys hunt and defending the territory. I promise!' He pleaded and both lion and lioness paused, sharing a look.

The lion gave him a long, hard look before stepping aside and have a hushed conversation with the lioness. Jay took the chance to rub at his shoulders carefully with his paws that were roughened from the harsh ground of the savanna. He was nervous. Their answer could mean life or death for him… He tensed once they turned back to him then swallowed on their approach. The lion lifted his paw and Jay flinched- but then blinked once the lion extended a paw for him to take.

'We'll see what use you have to us. But if we decide to send you away, you better leave without a fight.' The lion says aggressively.

Jay couldn't help but beam, taking the large paw and allowed him to help him to his hind legs.

'Alright! I will!' The cheetah says excitedly, flicking his tail back and forth.

'Your trial starts now.' The lioness says, gesturing to the outside and Jay nodded, already full of energy and food.

He could get them a gazelle or a zebra no problem!

'Oh. And by the way, I'm Kai.' The lion says and Jay blinked up at his cocky fanged grin, finding himself taking in his whiskered face, his intelligent eyes, his-

'And I'm Nya.' The lioness says, crossing her strong arms over her chest.

Jay looked between both powerful lion demi-humans then grinned.

'I'm Jay!'

_

That was where their partnership began. It wasn't easy for Jay. They worked him to the bone but he wasn't willing to give up. It took almost a month before he was allowed to eat with them and even more before he could share their den. They've gotten really close over the entire time period however. They groomed each other and worked together as their own strange pride. They've got a lot of strange looks from other demi-humans while the baser versions of their kind chalked it up to odd demi-human behaviour. But they worked. They fit. They become family. And Jay? Well… He long felt right at home.

All three cats looked up once thunder sounded, seeing dark clouds forming overhead.

"Well well. The monsoon is here. Finally." Jay says as they walked together, a smirk on his face.

"Monsoon?..." Kai asked confused, tilting his head to the side.

"It's a human term. It's a fancier way of saying the rainy season." Jay explained.

"You sure do know a lot about the human language." Nya says, glancing across at him as they continued their way home.

It was almost suspicious but Jay had explained that his adoptive parents were hyenas that had been helped by humans before. The human language was taught to all demi-humans by their parents and their parents before them. While what they knew may be a bit outdated, it allowed demi-humans to communicate more effectively and to understand more clearly the intentions of humans. Even though they understood and spoke the human language, it was a well kept secret from the humans that they did know it. It was an advantage no demi-human was willing to let go. All the humans knew was that they could learn it if necessary. They tend to do that with more domesticated demi-humans after all.

"I only know so much. I don't like humans very much though. It's hard to tell their intentions. They twist their words and most of them hunt us." Jay says with a frown.

"Yeah…" Both Kai and Nya says quietly, leaving Jay to frown.

Did he accidentally say something bad? Before he could even think to ask, a drip of water fell on his nose. He looked up then pressed his ears flat against his head once the drop turned to drizzle.

"Oh no!" Kai yelled then took off running.

"Huh? Hey wait!" Jay yelled, running after him, keeping up with the larger lion with ease.

They made it to the cave in the nick of time, rain pouring down seconds later as thunder rolled.

"You're really particular about water, aren't you?" Jay says, amused and Kai blinked at him mid lick of his paw. "Meaning, you don't like being covered in water." He clarified.

"Water isn't my thing. It's Nya's." Kai says as he turned around and looked out of the shallow cave.

Jay looked out too then blinked to see Nya standing there on her hind legs, taking in the rain, letting it wash over her, a smile on her face. She looked really happy… Kai laid down on his stomach then began licking his rough tongue against his paw. Jay joined him, laying beside the larger lion and licking at his mane. Sure, that meant he was guaranteed to get a hairball later but he knew how much Kai was proud of his mane. He wanted to help as much as he could. Anyway, it was a really unique and attractive mane… All spiky and standing up rather than down. Things were quiet for a while, even after Jay had finished helping Kai groom himself. They watched as Nya flopped over on her back, not caring that she was getting muddy, laughing to herself as she enjoyed the heavy downpour. Jay found himself smiling.

She really did look happy.

"Hey Jay…" The cheetah looked across at the lion as he watched his sister still.

Jay had thought for a while that they were a more intimate pair and received the yelling of a lifetime.

"Yeah, what's up?" Jay asked, tail flicking back and forth curiously.

"... Now that the rains are back… You'll stay here with us still… Right?... You won't… Abandon us too… Right?" Kai asked him softly, a look of pain crossing his face.

"Too?" Jay whispered to himself, wondering who had left them before.

The cheetah's breath caught however, remembering that the only reason he came to them was for their watering hole. Did they think after all this time he spent with them, knowing them, becoming one of them, apart of their family that… That he would up and leave that behind? No way.

"Of course not. It could rain forever and I'd stay right here with you guys. You guys are family, you know?" Jay says with a fond smile, looking out as Nya squirmed around on her back, paws up in the air.

Kai looked across at Jay, at his eyes that flashed with the lightning. They were as beautiful as they were deadly. A smile tugged at Kai's lips. Family huh. Jay blinked, his eyes widening as his cheeks reddened when Kai's tail caught his flickering one, coiling around it. He looked at Kai with those wide eyes and the lion only gave him a soft smirk before shifting closer, pressing his body right up against the cheetah. Kai nuzzled the smaller cat then licked at his cheek before settling, leaving Jay to lay there tensely, his cheeks red and his heart beating a mile a minute. What was this… He… Jay relaxed himself as he smiled softly, his heart warming as he rested against the warm mass of Kai. He was always so warm, like the sun…

Jay took a moment to wonder if the reason he was never this close with him was because he was afraid he'd leave. He didn't think too much into it, choosing to nuzzle against the warm fur of his mane instead, a purr leaving him as he closed his eyes. Kai smiled then closed his eyes too, taking in the sound of rain and the feeling of Jay next to him. Somewhere along the line, the odd cheetah got under his defences, under his skin and made himself home. From his odd jokes, to his energy filled nature, to his gorgeous features and more. But he was so hesitant to get as close as he had wanted to. Not when the dry season was coming to an end. Not when the sole reason for Jay coming into their lives would leave. But now… Knowing he wouldn't leave them… Leave him… He burrows his nose into the curly brown hair of the cheetah, taking in his scent with a content purr of his own.

This monsoon felt like a little taste of heaven.

______________

(Not the fic I had in mind to post but a fic nonetheless! I really need to get back into the one-shot scene but bet your bottom dollar I ain't done with this fic. A new series? Very likely. Highly doubt it'll have regular updates right now but in a month or so. Thanks for reading!)

Family (2)

Fandom: My Hero Academia

Pairing: Erasermic (Eraserhead/Present Mic)

Summary:

Family

ˈfamɪli,ˈfam(ə)li/

noun

1. a group consisting of two parents and their children living together as a unit.

2. all the descendants of a common ancestor.

Or maybe sometimes it’s just the people that love you most.

Chapter: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4

Word Count: 2,804

Warnings: This chapter contains spoilers for the BNHA manga, and mentions of hospitalisation/hospitals.

AO3 link

Chapter 2 - Home

“God Shouta, you got her that? It’s awful! No wonder the nurses refused to let her wear it!” Hizashi recoiled away from the offensive item of clothing, dropping it back into the drawer as though he’d been viciously bitten by some kind of animal. Shouta could only roll his eyes at the horrified expression on his partner’s face, before his own gaze shifted to the matching set he’d bought Eri merely a few days ago. He leaned back in the hospital chair, a small huff leaving his lips.

He’d thought the matching leggings, skirt, and long sleeved shirt looked okay when he bought them. He’d hovered awkwardly in the kids’ clothing aisle for several minutes, clearly completely out of his depth, before eventually deciding to purchase the items after some internal debate. Fashion wasn’t his forté, and he didn’t particularly want it to be either. But he’d deemed the clothing acceptable for Eri- especially because of its cat design and bright colours. Children liked colourful things, didn’t they? The dark-haired man cleared his throat, squinting over at Hizashi.

“I thought she’d like them. She likes cats.” Shouta’s grumbled words indicated indignation, but as his eyes flickered back to the garments he’d chosen a small feeling of insecurity bubbled in his stomach. He ignored Hizashi’s loud exclamation that Eri was fond of cats simply because Shouta liked them, and his eyebrows furrowed slightly. These sort of clothes were considered cute, weren’t they? Eri wasn’t a fussy child after all, it’s not like she would complain about them.

After a second he grunted, sending a stale glare in Hizashi’s direction.

“They’re just clothes. Who cares what they look like anyway; as long as she has some it’s fine.”

“Do you honestly want her to end up having a fashion sense like yours?” Hizashi scoffed, though there was a playful lilt to his voice that conveyed he was only teasing. He reached over to lightly poke Shouta, who simply leaned out of his grasp, sending him a dry look.

“There’s nothing wrong with what I wear,” he retorted. “I’m an underground hero; my hero suit is logical.” He took another sip of his lukewarm carry-out coffee, letting out a small sigh as Hizashi continued as though no one had spoken.

“-Besides, she’s a little girl! She needs cute clothes! I doubt she’s ever had some before. Oh, I have to take her shopping-!”

“No,” Shouta interrupted. “You’d end up buying the entire store.”

“But Shouta-!”

“No, Hizashi,” was the frank reply his protest received. Shouta paid no heed to the whining and pouting of his boyfriend as he got to his feet again, disposing of his now-empty coffee cup and turning to give the other man a bored glance.

“Come on. Eri and Mirio will be back from speaking to Nedzu soon. We need to have everything packed up by then.”

Surely enough, it took little time for Mirio to arrive with Eri in tow. The small girl’s face visibly brightened when she spotted the two men, and Hizashi was quick to ungracefully drop the bag he was holding and rush over to her, emitting a sound that Shouta could only describe as a squeal.

“Eri-chan!” Hizashi fawned, stooping down to her tiny height with a blinding grin. “How’s my favourite little listener doing?”

“Mm...!” Eri gave a nod, offering a smaller smile in return. “I’m doing good Mic-san...! Lemillion-san and I were talking to Principal Nedzu...!”

“Did you have a good talk with him?”

Eri nodded again, and Shouta’s eyes flickered over to Mirio. He mimicked Eri’s nod, and Shouta took it as a vow that he’d recount the conversation to him later. Hizashi patted Eri’s head affectionately, and as he ruffled her hair his grin somewhat softened.

“I bet you’re excited to come live at UA, huh Eri-chan?”

“Yeah!” Despite her words, her shoulders seemed to slump slightly, and the small smile adorning her lips slackened. Hizashi’s expression sobered, his eyebrows furrowing slightly for a mere second. Shouta almost spoke, but then his partner’s voice graced the room again, softer than he’d ever heard it before.

“You don’t have to be nervous, Eri-chan. I know this must be scary for you, but UA is full of good people and heroes who will protect you. And the three of us are here with you, okay? You’re safe now.”

Eri blinked, once, twice, three times- then another gentle pat to the head from Mirio seemed to nurse her back into reality. Hizashi had already drawn himself to his feet again by the time her gaze focused on him, and he extended a palm towards her in offering. Then the smile seeped back into Eri’s features; more timid than before, but no less bright.

“...Okay, Mic-san.” Her tiny hand curled around Hizashi’s fingers, and his habitual grin quirked his lips once more.

“Alright! We should get going so we can show you your new home!”

“Yeah! You’re gonna love it at UA, Eri-chan!” Mirio scooped the girl’s other hand into his with a smile that caused Eri’s own to widen, and she nodded almost firmly. Shouta cleared his throat then, shifting his gaze between Eri and Hizashi before his eyes rested meaningfully on the latter.

“We should get going,” he said simply. “Eri-chan’s room should be ready for her by now.”

“You’ll be staying super close to us Eri-chan! You know where the teachers’ lounge is, right? That big room where all the teachers go?” Hizashi continued when Eri gave a tentative nod, a certain softness still adorning his facial features. “You’ll stay there during the day- that way you’ll always have someone with you! Everyone’s really excited for you to be there!”

Shouta’s small grunt was his only addition to his partner’s spiel of words. It was true that the teaching staff were happy to have Eri stay with them- or at least they claimed to be. Perhaps it would be refreshing to have such a small child around to entertain, since all of them were so used to dealing with much older adolescents. Despite that, he was sure that none of them would have been able to turn away a little girl in need, or question Nedzu’s judgment for that matter.

After eventually ushering the small group away from the teary-eyed nurses that decided to accost them as they’d headed over to sign Eri out, Shouta managed to steer them to the taxi waiting outside the hospital. As they slipped into the car, Shouta was suddenly glad of his decision to direct Hizashi towards the front seat beside the driver, as he almost immediately started chattering to the man. Shouta almost rolled his eyes, his lips twitching up in a fond sort of way. With Hizashi busy distracting himself, he had the opportunity to finally allow the tension to meld away from his shoulders and maybe doze for a few moments; however he found his eyes straying towards Eri, who was nestled in the middle seat between him and Mirio. The boy seemed to be telling her a story, and given the enraptured expression on Eri’s face, it was clear she was enjoying it.

Shouta’s mind briefly pandered to the idea of buying a few storybooks to keep in the teachers’ lounge, in case someone had some spare time to read to her. He found shopping dull, but for Eri he didn’t mind enduring a short period of boredom. It was the least he could do for her, after all. He wasn’t entirely sure how literate she was either, so having simple tales to practise reading with her would be beyond helpful. He was soon drawn out of his thoughts by a tentative tap on his arm, and he blinked as he turned his head towards the small girl beside him, regarding Eri with what he hoped was a inviting look.

“We’re here Aizawa-san,” she informed him quietly, and Shouta didn’t miss the way her expression fluttered with nerves. He merely hummed lowly in reply and reached over to unbuckle Eri’s seatbelt, then undoing his own as Mirio helped her to climb out of the car. Shouta offered a brief mumble of thanks to the driver and followed suit, eying Hizashi as he rambled for a few more seconds before loudly bidding his goodbyes and ducking out of the car too.

Then, his attention fell to Eri.

It was Shouta that took her hand hand this time when he reached her side, not missing the way she immediately latched onto him, and his expression remained neutral as he followed Eri’s anxious gaze towards the gargantuan building of UA High School. He felt her grip his hand a little tighter and he spared a glance down at her again, his features softening ever so slightly.

“Hey, Eri-chan.” He waited until she turned her head towards him before continuing, “After you see your room, we can go and get some food with Lunch-Rush. You haven’t eaten yet, right?”

Eri shook her head, and he was glad to notice that her hold on him relaxed a bit. She’d seemed to get along well with the cook hero the last time she’d visited UA, so he assumed she’d be relieved to see a familiar face. He began to walk, patiently pausing for a second while she began to follow. Mirio appeared at her other side, falling into step with them and scooping up Eri’s free hand with a hum and a smile so bright Shouta found it vaguely reminiscent of that of All Might. Hizashi appeared at his other side, and Shouta could practically hear his smile. Before he could elbow him, though, a familiar voice cut him off.

“Ah, you’re all here!” Nedzu’s cheerfulness almost made Shouta uneasy; no number of pleasantries could erase the keen look in the principal’s eye as he surveyed the small group. “I trust you had a safe journey?”

“Yes sir!” Shouta merely nodded along with Mirio’s enthusiastic reply, Eri mimicking him and Hizashi letting out his own chirp of “You bet!”

Nedzu pressed his paws together, watching the four of them with a smile and a look that Shouta couldn’t quite interpret.

“Wonderful! I am sorry I could not accompany you all back to UA myself; I just had a few last minute preparations to make for Eri-chan’s arrival.” His eyes focused on the little girl, and briefly Shouta felt her clench his hand. “I assure you you’re going to be very well cared for here, Eri-chan. Everyone’s very excited to see you again.”

Eri politely nodded again in reply, but then, like a small flower, wilted away from him to hide herself behind Shouta’s leg. Nedzu could only smile at the man’s almost confused expression, but Shouta’s mouth quickly straightened out into a faint scowl as Hizashi slung his arm around his boyfriend’s shoulders.

“We should probably get going now, huh, Nedzu-san?” Hizashi only received a hum in reply, and together the five of them began to amble through the corridors of UA High School.

Eri was a bit more familiar with her surroundings this time around, which served to quell her nerves a bit. However, she couldn’t help but keep her hands tightly linked to Mirio and Shouta’s as Nedzu leisurely guided them through the halls, occasionally pointing out the various rooms and explaining their function. Eventually they came to a halt, and Eri seemed to falter for a moment.

“Ah, here we are!”

Shouta glanced down at the small girl, and, after a moment’s pause, gave her hand a careful squeeze.

“It’s alright Eri-chan, don’t be nervous. You’ve met all the teachers before right?” Shouta was thankful for Mirio’s soothing words, as he felt Eri’s tight hold on him slacken somewhat, her pale locks dripping over her shoulder when she nodded slowly in response. Shouta was quietly pleased to notice that the small clip he’d used to carefully pin back her hair that morning was still present, and he felt slightly smug considering Hizashi had been mocking him over his clothing choice for Eri a mere hour ago.

“Welcome to your new home, Eri-chan.”

“Oh wow, I’ve never been in here before!” Shouta would have rolled his eyes at Mirio’s declaration if not for his attention being entirely invested in Eri’s reaction. She seemed apprehensive at first, but her eyes were wide with a timid sense of curiosity as they surveyed the large room. Eventually her gaze rested on a assortment of colourful books stacked on one of the desks.

“Ah yes, I purchased some books for you in case you like to read, Eri-chan.” The small girl almost looked ashamed then, her eyes averting away from him.

“Oh, I...I don’t...I don’t know how to read, Nedzu-san...I’m sorry...!”

“There’s no need to apologise, my dear. Would you like to learn?”

Eri slowly lifted her head, a tentative motion, as though she was afraid to have heard him.

“Learn to read...?” she blinked, and at Nedzu’s nod of affirmation a shy smile broke across her face. She too nodded; “I’d really like to, Nedzu-san...!”

“Well then, I’m sure we can arrange for someone to teach you.”

“Yes please...!” Finally she turned her attention towards the stack of books. She seemed to freeze for a moment, before she carefully scooped up the book at the top of the pile.

“It has a cat on it, Aizawa-san! See?” She pivoted and held the cover up towards him, her small body bobbing up and down as she rocked on the balls of her feet. Shouta hummed in response, trying to disguise his surprise at her enthusiasm.

“Yes it does, Eri-chan.” Carefully he retrieved the book from her and spared a glance down at her. “If you want I could read this to you some time.”

A small flush dusted Eri’s cheeks and she hurriedly nodded, before she caught herself.

“Yes please, Aizawa-san...!” She quickly glanced away from him to look at the other books in the pile, seeming almost embarrassed; though her discomfort seemed to ebb away when Nedzu cleared his throat and addressed her, and she abruptly turned to face him instead.

“Ah, Eri-chan, I’ve arranged a room for you within the teacher’s quarters.” Nedzu smiled, first to Eri, who gave a quick, thankful nod, then he looked up to Shouta, seemingly in anticipation. The small twinkle in Nedzu’s eyes made the man’s stomach coil in something akin to nervousness.

“I entrust Eri-chan with you, Eraserhead, if you’ll accept her as your ward.” Shouta could only blink slowly in response, his mind turning blank for a moment. Him, look after Eri? He couldn’t say it was an unexpected request that he assume the role of Eri’s carer, since he’d admittedly bonded with her more than she had with any of the other staff members. He was the logical choice, out of all the faculty at UA. Quickly he staved off his shock enough to muster a small nod, expression draining back to its usual neutral state.

“I’ll do my best.” he mumbled, bowing his head briefly. Hizashi hurriedly leapt in to the conversation, and Shouta could practically feel the excitement emanating from his body.

“He’ll definitely look after her, Nedzu-san! Don’t worry- I’ll make sure he doesn’t buy her any more hideous clothes!” Despite Hizashi’s words, Shouta allowed them to meld into the background as he once again found his focus to be solely on Eri as she conversed animatedly with Mirio. Clearly he had experience dealing with children- he was a teacher after all- so it was irrational for him to worry over being able to properly provide for Eri. But a part of him knew that this would be different than being in charge of his class, than merely chaperoning a school trip or looking after the well-being of his students.

This time, he wasn’t just a teacher, or a hero. He was a guardian- someone that Eri could trust and rely on to care for her.

“Isn’t this exciting Shouta?” He barely noticed Hizashi shaking him, nor Nedzu walking away, too lost in his own thoughts to even register his partner’s loud rambling. “We can take her out shopping to get stuff for her room tomorrow! I wonder what colour she’ll want to paint it? We should get her some toys too! I wonder what she likes-“

“Cats,” Shouta eventually interjected. Hizashi halted in his tracks, turning to look at him, completely dumbfounded.

“What?”

Shouta couldn’t stop the tiny smile that quirked his lips, merely looking past his boyfriend to glance at Eri again, absentmindedly slipping his hands into his pockets. His mind flickered back to her happiness when she’d spotted the cat book, the way she’d beamed and bounced with excitement, and finally his words rolled out as though it was the simplest thing in the world:

“She likes...cats.”

Character Study || Larry Murphy

We are going to put Larry Murphy from Dear Evan Hansen under a microscope and analyze his every move. A lot of these points are simply how I perceived him. You could interpret them very differently. It’s up to you. This is just my thoughts. We’re also looking at things through Larry’s POV and how he would see things, not how other characters would see them, because they all see things differently. (heads up: i did not reread this and wrote it in one sitting so apologies in advance for awful horrible mistakes that are probably there)

Let’s begin!

The first time we meet Larry is during the breakfast scene: 

Cynthia: “Are you going to get involved here or are you too busy on your email, Larry?”

Larry: “You have to go to school Connor.”

Cynthia: “That’s all your gonna say?”

Larry: “What do you want me to say? He doesn’t listen. Look at him. He’s not listening. He’s probably high.”

It’s early in the morning. Larry is preparing for work. He’s the main provider of money in the family. Work is probably very important to him especially as we almost always see him in a suit or tie. Their family is able to live a very comfortable life because of him and his job. 

The last thing he wants to do is settle family drama first thing in the morning. This isn’t a new occurrence. Connor has clearly been an issue for a long time. He’s probably heard this same argument a million times. He’s over it. He’s tired. He has other things on his mind.

If I were going to write Larry, I would say he’s a workaholic or, at least, favors work over his family issues. 

Larry:  The interstate’s already jammed.

He’s already forgotten about breakfast issues. He’s thinking about the immediate future. He knows he’s got to get to work and now he’s going to be stuck in traffic. This morning is already wiped form his mind. 

He kisses Cynthia on the cheek before he leaves. 

You could look at this as something out of love for his wife, possibly silently thanking her for breakfast and saying goodbye.

Or you could see it as something he does out of habit. Maybe he’s been kissing her goodbye every morning so it’s just part of his routine. You could take that as him being very strict on structure and routine in his life. 

The next time we see Larry is in the principle office after Connor died: 

Larry takes control of the conversation. 

Clearly Cynthia is a mess. She’s having trouble getting out any words. Larry takes over for her. 

He becomes head of the household. His wife is in pain. He steps up so she doesn’t have to speak while she tries to collect herself.

This is different then how he reacts in other parts of the story. Cynthia does more of the talking whenever her family or Evan is around. Larry stays quiet and let’s her lead the conversation. 

To me, I see that small action as his love for his wife. He doesn’t want to force her to speak while she’s grieving. If I relate this to my life, I know my mom is good at picking up when I have really bad anxiety and will help steer the conversation to herself and away from me. Larry could be doing something similar until she’s ready. 

“We never heard your name before. Connor never-”

He stops talking then. He was going to say something alone the lines of Connor never mentioned you. 

Despite having never heard of Evan before, they still believe that Connor wrote the note. Larry just accepts that Connor would be hiding things, friends included, from him. They don’t have an open communication. He doesn’t know much about his children’s live. 

“We didn’t think Connor had any friends.”

He sees his son as a loner. Larry seems like the kind of person would of had a lot of friends in high school. Possibly a jock. 

Technically, he’s right. Connor didn’t have any friends as far as the audience knows. 

That means he had to fairly observant enough to notice that his son never went out or brought anyone home. 

“His last words.”

Larry to looks to Cynthia when Evan questions what he means by last words. Cynthia shakes her head and starts crying. Larry once again takes over the conversation for her. 

He fidgets a bit on his seat, leaning back then forwards again, his hands are clasped together. He keeps not finishing the sentences that he starts then rethinking and saying something else. He’s uncomfortable. He doesn’t want to be there. He doesn’t want to be talking about his (what believes to be) dead son’s suicide note but Cynthia can’t so he has to. 

“Honey, now is not the time.”

After Evan says that Connor didn’t write the letter, Cynthia starts to panic. She gets out of her chair. She closes in towards Evan. Her voice is rising and she’s crying. She’s starting to breakdown. She’s clearly scaring Evan as he gets up and cowers away from her. 

Larry stands up and takes a direct step between his wife and Evan. He physically puts his body between her and this kid they just met. He holds his arm out around her so she can’t get any closer to Evan and gently pulls her back. 

1 - His father instincts are probably kicking in. He’s protecting Evan from someone who’s scaring him. 2 - He’s trying to protect his wife from the pain. Evan is causing her pain. He’s not agreeing with what they want. She wants to hear that he was Connor’s friend so that her son wouldn’t seem so alone. She wants Evan to be that person and when he tries to deny it, she panics. 

Larry puts himself between the two of them. He keeps his back to Evan the rest of that scene. He’s facing his wife. He tries to reach out a for her hands but she pushes him away so he steps back. 

This whole principle office scene was Larry trying to protect and care for his grieving wife. 

Evan eats dinner with the family aka For Forever scene: 

Larry: “Would anyone else like more chicken?”

Cynthia: “I think you’re the only with an appetite, Larry.”

Larry: “The Harris’ brought it over.”

He’s trying to be a good host to their guest and his family. He’s willing to go bring them more food if they want it. It’s a polite thing to ask. 

He stands up as if to take his plate the kitchen but after Cynthia scolds him, he sits back down. He’s a little defensive saying that someone else brought over the food. 

Like attempting to be a good host, he’s also probably trying to be polite to the Harris family who brought them the food. He’d want to eat it as a show of thanks. 

Cynthia: “He knew you read his emails.”

Larry: “Somebody had to be the bag guy.”

I mentioned this point in Connor’s post but Larry was forced to play the role of the “bad guy”. 

Cynthia shows lots of signs of being apologetic and enabling of Connor’s behavior. She doesn’t want to see Connor for how he acted but how she knew he could be. He’s her first born. She probably feels a very strong connection to him. Chances are, she let a lot of things slide and push over when it came to Connor. She never says anything bad about him. She makes excuses and downplays his anger. He was her little baby boy and she probably turned a blind eye to a lot of the things he was going through. 

That meant that Larry had to double up. He had to play the part of the strict authoritarian of the household. 

In Child Psychology, they often teach of four types of patenting styles. The authoritarian parenting, authoritative parent, permissive parenting, and uninvolved parenting.

Larry is the authoritarian. They set the rules and expect their kids to follow them without exception. They don’t often allow their kids to get involved with problem solving obstacles. They have little regard for their child’s opinion. It’s their rules or else. There is no negotiating and they expect their child to be obedient. As punishment for breaking rules, they often focus on making the child suffer for their mistakes instead of talking it out.

Cynthia is a permissive parent. They only step in when there is a serious problem. If they set any rules, they are often not followed through, or there aren’t any consequences for breaking them. They forgive and forget easily. They put no effort into discouraging poor choices or behaviors. 

Alright so what does that mean? Well children are heavily affected by the way their parents raise them.

Children who grow up with an authoritarian parents can go in two ways. They can follow the rules all the time. They might not ever stray far from the rules for fear of being punished. They become quiet and reserved and keep to themselves. Often they develop self-esteem or self worth problems. (Zoey anyone?) Or they can became hostile and aggressive. They become good liars. They grow up learning to lie in order to avoid punishment. They hate people who hold high roles of authority. They display disruptive, aggressive, defiant, or anti-social conduct behaviors. (gee I wonder which Murphy child that sounds like...)

Children who grow up with a permissive parent may have less emotional understanding. They may make poor decisions. May be more prone to delinquency and substance use. Because they do not learn to deal with their emotions effectively, particularly in situations where they do not get what they want, they struggle when faced with difficult situations. May display low achievement in many areas. 

Now combine those two parenting styles and ta-da! You’ve got a hot mess called the Murphy siblings!

Conclusion to this: Parenting is hard and neither Larry or Cynthia are getting it right. 

Zoe: “Connor was a bad person.”

Larry: “Zoe, please.”

Zoe: “Don’t pretend like you don’t agree with me.”

This is a fun one. It makes me wonder if Zoe and Larry had some sort of chance at a decent relationship. 

Typically, when Zoe talks to her mom, she’s rolling her eyes or yelling. It seems like there’s not much of a structured relationship there. 

But she’s a little different with Larry. When she says “don’t pretend like you don’t agree with me” I wonder if that’s something they’ve talked about before. 

I’d like to think that maybe Zoe has vented or confided in Larry about how awful Connor was to her. I can get into this more when I do Zoe but it’s still an interesting point. 

The “don’t pretend” part really leads me to believe that they shared similar thoughts on how fed up they were with Connor before. 

If I look at this family, I see Cynthia/Connor on one side and Larry/Zoe on the opposing side. I feel like Connor drove a deep grove between everyone. 

The picnic, toy airplane bit. 

This is a sweet, typical story about a normal happy family. Two parents taking their children to a picnic at an apple orchard. Sitting on a nice sunny day and eating lunch. Taking out a new toy and watching them fly it around. 

Larry decided to get his hands in there and play with the kids. He accidentally crashes the plane. They probably all laughed about it and I’m sure he promised to buy them a new one. 

It’s normal. He was a good father when they were children. Sometimes it’s easier to connect to a child. They’re innocent, forgiving, and loving. They haven’t had a chance to let the world hurt them yet. As they become teens, things change. Teens are harsh. They’re hormonal and emotional and confusing. It’s important to note that we have no idea the kind of home that Larry came from. Since cycles often repeat themselves, I’m going to assume that Larry’s dad was probably the same. He might not know how to properly express his emotions (I’m so gonna get into that later). Maybe he watched his kids grow up and he was like wtf how do I take care of these humans now that they’re not tiny and can talk back. 

Evan gives the Murphy’s his fabricated emails: 

Larry is drinking. 

Cynthia is shown to be sitting on the couch while Evan talks. Larry is standing behind it. He paces around during this scene but stays mostly quiet. He had a drink in his hand. I’m guessing whisky. He seems like an Old Fashioned kind of guy. 

I just went back and watched this scene. I always assumed it took place at the end of the day because the stage is so dark I just got night vibes. But then I released that Zoe is just coming home from school and they haven’t eaten dinner yet. I don’t know if she stayed late or if it’s right after school ended. So the timing is a little off for me. It would be one thing if it was late at night and Larry was drinking, but now I’m thinking it’s mid afternoon, so that changes things a bit. It seems more important like the writers purposely wrote him as clearly having a drink in his hand as Zoe is getting home. I don’t want to ignore that placement and timing. He’s drinking before dinner. People usually have a drink after.

We don’t know if this is an everyday occurrence or something new. Does he drink every night after work? Has he always done that? Did it start when Connor starting acting out? Or did it start after his the death of his son? Does he drink a lot? Does he get drunk? Or is it one glass? We don’t know but it’s something to think about. 

In similar fashion to Connor getting high, Larry drinking at the end of/mid day the day could be his way to wind down, to cope, to take the edge off of everything. 

It’s important because it shows he’s struggling. He doesn’t say that he’s struggling with the loss. You just have to look for the clues that point to such. He conveys it through actions. Not words. 

Cynthia: “We would love to see more emails. We would love to see everything. Wouldn’t we?”

Larry: “...Mhm.”

Larry does not want to see more emails. He does not want to see these ones. He does not want to have his dead son being thrown back in his face. 

“Why don’t I show you out?” 

Cynthia tries to invite Evan to stay for dinner. Zoe is clearly not thrilled with that idea. There’s an awkward pause and she shares a look with her dad. After he gets the look, he steps up’s and ushers Evan out of the room. 

He can pick up on his daughter’s emotions. It was her first day back at school. It was hard. She doesn’t want Evan there. He’s not part of the family. She doesn’t want to try an entertain someone who’s invading her home after a tragedy. Larry gets that and moves him away from Zoe. 

He cares about Zoe. He cares about Cynthia. And he cared about Connor. No one can tell me otherwise. They’re his family. He loves them.

Larry: “I’m going to bed.”

Cynthia: “Sit with me.”

Larry: [shakes his head no]

Cynthia: “You cant stand to be in this room for five minutes.”

Larry: “I’m exhausted.”

Cynthia: “You know at some point your going to have to start dealing with this.”

Larry: “Not tonight. Please. I’ll keep the light on for you.”

This shit is big, my dudes. 

LARRY IS HURTING. His wife is sitting in their dead son’s bedroom reading the supposed words of when Connor was happy. 

That was not the Connor he knew. Evan’s words are forcing him to reevaluated everything he thought he knew about Connor (like Zoe too). It makes him feel like an even worse father than he’s already feeling. 

He is dead in this scene. He is so tired. His body language, his facial expression, the tone of his voice. It’s all showing an extremely exhausted man. Larry is just done. He can’t handle any more in one day. He needs to sleep. 

Cynthia knows that he’s not dealing with this. He’s not allowing himself to grieve. He’s trying to stay strong and keep it together for his family. She knows him better than anyone else. She can see that he’s in denial. There are many stages of grief. He’s stuck in the denial stage. 

After she tells him that, he responds with a “not tonight.” Which is classic denial. Then adds a very sad, helpless “please” after. He’s begging her to let him sleep. To let him forget for a few hours. 

She pushing him to stay in Connor’s bedroom. Do you know how hard it is for a parent to step foot in a child’s bedroom after a tragedy? It’s nearly impossible for some people. Larry doesn’t want to be there. 

As he leaves, he still says that he will leave a light on for his wife. Because he loves her. He cares about her. That’s what you do when you love people. You put blankets over them when they fall asleep, or you surprise them with their favorite starbucks drink when they weren’t expecting it, or you turn up the heat when you wake up because you know they get cold in the morning, or you keep a damn light on even if you’re trying to sleep so that they don’t have to stumble around in the dark!

The lines Larry sings in Requiem: 

I gave you the world, you threw it away

Literally and metaphorically. He brought Connor into this world (well...Cynthia did but he helped!) and he gave Connor everything that he could have wanted. 

Connor threw it all away. He didn’t care about the things Larry could have offered him. He metaphorically threw all that way. And he committed suicide. He literally threw away his life. 

And it’s important to note that he says “I” not “We”

Larry is selfish. He’s self absorbed. He’s probably high up the chain of people at his work. He’d be used to people respecting him. 

Connor pushed against that and Larry doesn’t take it well. 

Leaving these broken pieces behind you

Connor left them all broken. Cynthia is a mess. Zoe is forced to deal with the scars he left on her. Larry is left to try and pick up the pieces. 

Everything wasted, nothing to say

I see this part as Larry leaving the denial phase and entering the anger stage of grief. 

Remember: It is okay to be angry at someone after they take their own life. 

Larry is angry. Connor hurt everyone. He put his family through hell. The people he loves are hurting because of Connor’s choices.

So I can sing no requiem

Requiem is an act of honoring the dead and putting them to rest. 

Larry can’t honor his son right now. He’s too angry. He doesn’t want to put him to rest when there is still so much pain to deal with. 

Why should I have a heavy heart? 

Once again, this is the anger speaking. Why should he be sad? Why should he mourn? Connor took his own life. It was his fault. He did this. He destroyed this family. Not Larry. 

Obviously that’s not true. Many people were at fault here. Especially Larry. But the last thing a mourning father wants to do is put all the blame on himself. That guilt could destroy him. 

I will sing no requiem

Right now, he needs to be angry to cope. Let him be angry for now. It’ll pass in time.

The Connor Project: 

“I didn’t realize Connor meant this much to people.”

So may ways to view this line! 

It could mean that Larry didn’t think very much of Connor and, in turn, believed no on else did.

It could mean that Larry is confused again because this does not seem like the Connor he knew, and he’s trying to wrap his mind around this, despite going against what his gut is saying.

It could mean that he’s shocked and maybe a little proud that Connor was actually making an impact on people’s lives.

However you chose to view it, it’s a cool line. 

Larry is quiet. 

Once again, Cynthia does all the talking for the family. 

Larry keep quiet except to say that one line about Connor.

He spends the rest of the scene reading over the pamphlet Evan gives him. 

Larry sticks close to Zoe. 

Zoe and Larry are both quiet. They stick near each other in this scene. She’s sitting and Larry walks around her and behind her but never very far from where she is.

Neither of them look very thrilled about the idea. They’re confused. This was not the Connor that they knew.

When the scene fades out. Evan, Alana, and Jared are all up front in the spotlight. Cynthia is behind them to the left. She excited and she leaves the opposite side of the stage from her family. Zoe and Larry are still to the right by the table. The lights fade on them first and they get cast into darkness. They’re the first one’s to disappear off stage. 

You Will Be Found:

Larry starts to understand. 

When Cynthia and Larry enter the stage, their backs are towards the audience. They’re looking around in awe of everything being shown on the screens. Neither of them expected this big of an impact. 

He follows her around the stage. Until she turns and walks to the back of the stage with everyone else. Everyone has their back to the audience and Larry is left standing at the front of the stage. Alone. For a few seconds, he’s the only one facing the crowd. He’s apart from the group. He’s facing a different direction from them. He’s looking at everything. 

This is him releasing how big this shit is. It’s him releasing everything he couldn’t give Connor. It’s him understanding how he messed up, how he should have tried harder, or done better. Larry is finally allowing himself to see things in a different light. He’s finally starting to understand Connor. 

Larry sees the light. 

Then everyone gathers together. They walk in circles around Evan. Cynthia goes up to Evan and hugs him as everyone else parts from them. Larry looks over and sees them. He takes a forward towards them but they walk off together. 

Then he’s once again left in middle of the stage by himself. Except this time two spot lights suddenly shine directly on him. 

The lyrics during this part are “Out of the shadows. The morning is breaking. All is new. All is new.” 

Larry leans over as if he was hit with grief. (I can’t tell if he’s crying or not because it’s a bootleg and the lighting washes out his facial features here but his body language looks like he is??) 

Larry literally sees the light. 

You are not alone. You are not alone. 

Right after that happens. Cynthia runs across the stage and hugs him. He holds her really tight as the “you are not alone” lyrics are being sung. 

This is a really sad Zoe part but I’ll save it for her study. 

But basically, Larry is focusing a lot on his wife here and his dead son and low key forgetting about their other child. 

Him and Cynthia walk off together in an embrace. 

Larry is finally allowing himself to grieve the death of Connor. 

Garage Scene before Break in a Glove:

Larry is a baseball fan.

He has signed baseball memorabilia that are worth good money. 

He has a “man’s man”

If you look at his garage set up, it’s full of the stereotypical men shit. He’s got a work bench with a bunch of tools and baseball stuff. 

Zoe: “You can tell him he’s being boring and he won’t get upset.”

That’s such a kid thing to say about a parent. It also gives another look into Zoe and Larry’s relationship. It’s a cute interaction. It’s playful. I’m sure he’s tried to talk to Zoe about baseball stuff before and I’m sure she brushed him off in a similar manor. 

“Heh...women.”

Again, a very manly kind of thing to say to another dude. Heh, woman, ammiright? Grr we bros. We tough. Testosterone woo. 

“Feel how stiff the leather is? Never been used.” 

In response to Evan picking up the glove. It was supposed to Connor’s glove. 

He says “never been used” quietly as an after thought and then brushes it off by saying that Evan probably has his own glove at home. 

He also says, “This one’s just gonna sit here. Collecting dust.” Ha cause Connor is dead and he’s never going to use it and I’m not crying what. 

Break In A Glove aka the most we’ll ever learn about Larry:

I bought this glove a thousand years ago, For some birthday or some Christmas that has come and gone

He can’t remember the exact date he bought the glove for. But he knows he bought it for Connor. In Connor’s study, I interpreted this whole part having a much different meaning to him. 

To Larry, he knows what he knows. 

To Larry, this is a great gift. 

He likes baseball. He probably dreamed of having a son he could play catch with. 

So he buy Connor a glove because that’s the sort of present he would have liked as a kid.

For a minute just imagine Larry going out shopping. He’s in a store by himself. He comes across this glove. And his first thought is Connor. He thinks, wow hey. I’m going to do something really nice. I’m going to buy this for my son. I love baseball so I’m sure he will too. I just have to teach him how to love the things I love. It’ll be a great bonding moment for us. I’ll be a good dad. He’ll be so happy.

I thought we might play catch or... I don't know

He wanted to be involved in Connor’s life. 

He just didn’t know how. 

This is him trying. This is his effort. 

But he left it in the bag, with the tag still on

Obviously Connor didn’t care about baseball. 

To Connor, this was an awful gift. It showed that his dad didn’t understand him. It was insulting. 

To Larry, he can’t quite get why Connor wouldn’t like it. 

His son is quiet and withdrawn, has grown out his hair, paints his nails, wears dark clothes...Larry doesn’t understand any of that. He doesn’t get it. He can’t change his own ways to accommodate his son’s personality. So he tries to force his loves onto Connor who only pushes away. 

Still, Larry never used the glove after that. He left it there for all those years in case Connor ever changed his mind. He kept it. Just in case. 

“Your dad never taught you how to break in a baseball glove?”

He starts to realize that Evan’s father was lacking. He’s shocked that his dad never taught him something that, he believes, every father should teach their son. 

Larry is very old fashioned in this way. 

But he see’s that Evan was lacking a father figure. Larry was lacking a son figure. Some kid is showing interest in something Larry loves and he jumps on that opportunity. 

They try create a father/son bond that they both craved but never got. 

He is so excited to share his baseball knowledge with Evan. 

He has wanted this moment forever and he’s finally getting it. 

Just not with his own son. 

And though this method isn’t easy, Every second that you spend is gonna pay off, it will pay off in the end.

Aaaannndd now we’re no longer talking about baseball gloves. We’re talking about parenting and his relationship with Connor.

It just takes a little patience. It takes a little time. A little perseverance and a little uphill climb. 

Larry really believed that Connor would get better. He probably didn’t even realize how bad he was until they found him. 

You might not think it’s worth it. You might being to doubt but you can’t take any shortcuts. You gotta stick it out. 

He would occasionally doubt his parenting techniques. He would get nervous for Connor. He would get scared. But he knows one way and only one way and he refused to stray off from that path. 

And it’s the hard way but it’s the right wat. The right way...to break in a glove.

He really believed his parenting method was the right way. He believed he was doing the right thing. He believed Connor would come out the other side a better man. 

Even when everyone around you thinks you’re crazy. Even when evertone around you let’s things go. 

Cynthia was the push over parent. She let things go. She thought he was crazy for being so hard on Connor. They didn’t agree on their parenting techniques and because of that Connor fell through the cracks while they were trying to figure their shit out. 

Or you’re just trying to do best...for a kid who’s lost control.

This line is so sad. His voice breaks. He looks away from Evan. He busies himself by looking at a rag in his hands. He’s trying not to cry.

Like I said before, never tell me that Larry didn’t love Connor. 

He might not have a been a good father. He might have contributed to a lot of Connor’s illness. But that does not mean that he didn’t love him. 

In Larry’s eyes, he tried to his best for what he thought his son needed. He was wrong. But he tried. And now Connor is dead and he will never get over that. 

You do the hard thing...cause that’s the right thing...Yeah, that’s the right thing...

He’s not as confident as he was before at the start of the song.

He doubts himself. He walks away from Evan. He refused to look at him. 

He’s trying to convince himself that his ways were right but he knows that they weren’t.

If they were, then Connor would be alive, and he’s not. 

Larry knows he fucked up. 

Your dad must feel pretty lucky to have a son like you. 

Larry just wanted that a son who would listen and enjoy what he did and spend time with him. 

He never came to terms with the fact that wasn’t who Connor was. 

“Shaving cream. Rubber bands. Mattress. Repeat.”

Evan just confided something personal to him about his own father. 

Instead of talking about it, he replies with this. 

It’s not him brushing off what Evan said. It’s his advice and his support. 

You got to go through the hard things. You’ve got to stick it out. And it will be worth it at the end. 

Shit goes South real fast:

Larry is protective. 

The Murphy’s start getting threats from people online. Some of things said in the midst of the chaos are “their house is at the end of the cul de sac” and “the gate to the back is completely unlocked”. His families lives are potentially in danger. He’s on high alert. He’s tense and worried. He keeps looking around at everything. He’s breathing heavy. He’s trying to protect his family. 

Zoe’s phone rings. Larry tells her not to answer it. She does anyway. It’s another person saying something awful to her. She hangs up. Larry is immediately asking who it was, what’s their number, what they wanted, and if they threatened her. He’s angry. Someone is harassing his daughter. He’s pissed.

Larry cares about the image of his family. 

Cynthia is about to call the police. Larry responds with “wait and see if it all blows over.” 

Larry doesn’t want negative attention brought on his family. 

He didn’t want to be seen as the father with a mentally ill son. And he didn’t want to be seen as the house with cop cars out front. 

He cares about image and status. 

“All he needed was another thousand dollar yoga retreat.” and “He just wants attention.” 

Cynthia begged for therapy, or rehab, or anything that would help Connor. 

They spent big money on trying to get Connor better. 

And every time Connor would probably come back not changed at all. 

To Larry, that was a waste of money. Nothing about Connor changed. Therefore, it was stupid and pointless in his eyes. 

He refers to rehab as a “yoga retreat” and suicide as “wanting attention” 

Larry know nothing about mental illness. He’s old fashioned. Back when he was a kid, those things weren’t talked about. He doesn’t understand them.

He’s like a grumpy old man sitting in a rocking chair and lecturing about “how when I was a kid we had to walk up hill to school both ways!” 

He’s incredibly stubborn and it’s one of his biggest faults from my perspective. 

Zoe: “You wanted to punish him. You treated him like a criminal.” 

This goes back to Larry being an authoritarian parent. They punish their kids really harshly. 

Larry’s family is turning against him. They’re blaming him. He starts getting defensive. 

“I tried to help him. I did everything I knew how. If that’s not good enough then I don’t know what to tell you.”

He tired, dude. He tried but he went about it all wrong. He loved Connor. He cared about Connor. He just didn’t do things the right way and he’s paying for it. 

He feels guilt. He feels pain. He’s not an evil robot. 

Some men are kinda dumb especially when it comes to human emotions. In the time Larry was raised, things were different. Men were supposed to be tough. They weren’t supposed to cry. They were supposed to be strong and financially support their family. They weren’t supposed to show emotions. So that’s what he did. 

I’m not saying that’s right but it’s the best way to describe him. 

Sometimes you have to give people a little slack. My dad was the same way. I resented him for it for years until I grew up and realized that he was just trying his best with what he knew. He’s not perfect. Larry’s not perfect. That doesn’t mean you can’t try to look past their imperfections and see them as humans.

Larry fucked up but I think he’s learning from it. 

The look of betrayal he give Evan

After Words Fail, Cynthia and Zoe run off. They’re heartbroken. 

Larry walks up slowly to Eva slowly like he’s trying to intimidate him, gives him a look of disgust and betrayal, then walks off. 

Evan hurt his family. He hurt Larry. Larry started to love him like a son. He’s hurt but he more furious that his family is hurt. 

It’s like they lost Connor a second time. 

Other random bits I forgot to add in:

Larry likes Star Trek (?)

“Sulu is a character on Star Trek, I believe.” - Larry Murphy 

He shows love through touch. 

He reaches out to touch Zoe’s shoulder a few times. 

He reaches out to put a hand on Cynthia when she starts talking about giving Connor’s college money to Evan. 

It’s his little way of showing support. 

Cynthia and Larry fight a lot. 

It makes sense. When you look at their different parenting styles, they’re complete opposites. That would lead me to believe that they are opposites on many other things as well. They’re bound to bump heads and get into fights when they don’t agree. 

Also because he’s so stubborn. He wouldn’t be one to admit that he was wrong. He doesn’t like being wrong. 

He didn’t cry at Connor’s funeral. 

This is a big point that I saved for last. I wanted everything else to be said about Larry before I touched on this one. 

People bring this one up a lot when talking about how awful he is but I think that’s completely unfair. 

Larry can’t cry. He’s keeping his shit together for his family. He’s trying to be the strong one. He’s trying to be the rock. 

He’s repressing all his emotions. 

It’s something I know very well. I’m a queen at repressing emotions to get by. I’ve never cried at a funeral. No matter how much I adored and loved a person, I didn’t cry there. I cried later. On my own time. 

Larry cried over his son’s death. But from everything we know about him, it would have been something he did in private. He wouldn’t want people to see him. He wouldn’t want to cause a scene. 

Emotions are weird. People are weird. Life is weird. Just because someone isn’t grieving in the exact way you are, doesn’t mean that they aren’t hurting too. Someone could be going through hell on the inside but on the outside look hard as a rock. Don’t take everything you see at first glance to be true. 

End point: Larry Murphy loves his family and he was trying his best. Give him some slack. Don’t excuse his wrong doings, hold him accountable for the things he’s need to fix, but don’t write him off as an unloving father. Michael Park does a beautiful job of portraying that. 

Thank you. Have a nice day.