#AND ANOTHER THING I DIDNT TYPE BC IT WAS TOO DAMN LONG
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screen shot to add thoughts bc its a good post and im trauma rambling
not adding to this post bc my thoughts are so off topic to it but damn i started reading this and thinking abt how long i stayed w my ex through all of these behaviors, including her attempting to kill me at least once and started feeling guilty for leaving her (even tho she and another partner kicked me out) and then as i was reading realized tht actually the two of them were the one to forcibly isolate me from all my support structures and then kick me out of the house i had made new ones in and forbid me from seeing the other trans women in the polycule so we had to break up even tho neither of us wanted to. and how when we were together she stopped talking to me more and more as i gained weight and started crying constantly and generally had complete psychotic break bc of her abuse and she wouldnt touch me for fear of killing me and was tired of the fact she broke her toy and how she scolded me coldly for 'making'her take care of my self harm medical issue when i kept twlling her i could do the first aid myself and she didnt have to. or how she would talk about sex w her other partners and brag abt it but would barely even hug me. or tell me i was Too Much and we needed to take a small step back bc she didnt have the capacity to care for/abt me like tht and then invited over a new fuck buddy immediately afterwards. or the time before things got Ridiculously Bad, i came over in drag king makeup for an event we were all going to and she looked at me in my beard makeup and reacted the same way the people on the bus had until i cried it all off. like me and other survivors of her cult have talked abt her internalized transmisogyny in reference to her treatment of the other trans women around her and even in ref to her response to my drag makeup but it never occurred to me as a tme person tht maybe her internalized transmisogyny led her to enacting the same type of transmisogynistic disposability culture against me. (not tht she was transmisogynistic against me tht would be an absurd twisting of material conditions just how her own experiences w disposability may have effected how she disposed of me once i was worthless to her) and idk i still miss her
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opinion on blended movie . i have seen this movie way too many times against my will
because of this ask i started watching it for the first time so you're getting a fresh review 👍 im just going to add to this as i watch.
⚠️ LONG POST (sorry)
first 5 min its eh not too bad, honestly i watched one of the worst adam sandler movies ever last night so everything seems fine its like eating cheap canned soup after only eating rotten food for a day. i like drew barrymore generally so im some what optimistic for her character.
i spoke too soon, it is not improving. this plot is extremely predictable i can tell its enemies to lovers very fanfic troupe whatever everything doesn't have to be groundbreaking cinema but it feels lazy. it has quite a few good actors so thats a plus?
my least favorite bit so far is the 12 (?) year old boy with a crush on the babysitter. i know thats normal it happens but the whole way of addressing it is unfunny jerking off humor yk. also not a continuing thing but i thought the period jokes were strange bc they're just inaccurate, its strange to me that two actresses were backing up that tampon size correlates to pussy size and that when your older you stretch out, its literally that frank iero meme the what pussy size are you- i didnt know people actually believed that lol. also another thing thats very typical for these type of movies were the lesbian jokes about the main character and her friend, it felt like it was going on too long. the joke seems like a one off comment adams character would make not a 3 minute convo yk. i personally didnt find it offensive but it was just long and unfunny, to be fair last night i watched the most stereotype of a movie besides zohan so far.
ooo terry cruz hes in this one as well. i like him too so again i hope his character turns out ok. nothing really to say about them going to africa, very predictable and you immediately find out what happened no suspense. the boy jokes about his daughters are a bit strange, short hair on women is not uncommon in south africa? in 2015 which i assume is around when the movie takes place it wasnt a wild concept, a ton of south african women have short hair and every other hair length. i dont get it. anyways.
ok some american guy made the joke too. i think all these people are stupid, bella thorne just dresses casual and has short hair.
can you tell i forgot everyones names, this is not very memorable.
ew ew i hate the teen boy sorry. hes so eugh. putting on a fake accent and finding his mom hot, bro get help. atleast the people around him are calling him out on it but. 😐
NOOO THEY'RE GOING TO GIVE HER A "GIRL" MAKEOVER DAMN IT WHY. she likes it more thats fine but i hate when this always happens in movies I wish for once they'd do an opposite makeover where they go from feminine to masculine. she really just said "the boys at school think im a lesbian but not the hot kind". why does this movie have so many lesbian and "she looks like a man" jokes.
i cant believe im only halfway done. im really wondering the conflict of this movie, or does nothing happen?
her makeover is fine im glad she likes it but i still dont appreciate the casual clothes short hair slander smh. and why is adam sandlers character so mad like shes 15 bro let her figure herself out.
i feel like drew is doing a lot of motherly stuff and really getting close with the girls but adam did like one thing with one son so far.
the scenes with not a lot of talking and them just doing stuff isn't too bad, it kinda feels like a vacation ad ha.
ok hes doing a bit more now. the oldest boy is still so annoying sorry. its almost over right.
drew barrymore looks so pretty in that dress, and terry cruz has a nice singing voice. wow i think we aren't getting conflict. huh. where are they going to pull out an argument for this. wish i was stargazing rn.
ok i hit it i think, the conflict is just that he isn't ready to move past his dead wife? why cant they just wait. oh hi shaq.
ew wait no i hit the conflict, so her ex husband is insecure and lying. cool. sad adam leaving the house music. im cringing at her ex flirting with her blegh. can they just figure this out already he lied adam likes you get together the end.
slay adam and his kids showed up for the ball game. are they going to get past the misunderstanding yet. this part of the movie isn't too bad it could be the joy of only 7 minutes left.
why did the kids just call each others parents hot. ok.
yipee its the end thank you terry.
...
well its not the worst movie ive seen, but its not one i would rewatch either, it feels very early 2000s so im suprised it was made so recently. i would say overall its a 5/10 on the sandler scale, nowhere near as bad as zohan or ridiculous 6 but not as good as say bedtime story*.
*i wouldn't give that one a perfect rating or even an 8 but it falls on the better side of the scale rather than the negative
ok im done writing i wonder if this will be read to the end. hi if you are still reading 👋
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i lost like 5 lbs and i like it .. i think i can stay this weight for the summer and i can wear certain clothes without constantly looking down and feeling like i look fat. like today, i could tell that i felt more comfortable than i usually am in my outfit, like it felt great and i didn’t feel that insecure. sometimes im always making sure my shirt covers a certain amount of my stomach bc i’ll soon feel like im bloated. i love wearing high waisted shorts/skirts/pants; theyre like one of the best things to exist lol. i wasn’t trying to lose weight on purpose, it just sorta happened under certain circumstances. i also know that my body kind of loses weight easily, like if i eat any less than my normal at the moment, i will automatically see a difference. sometimes i just dont like my body proportions. like, my upper arms feel fat and i dont like that crease at the armpits. im always on and off about my calves bothering me. i do like my hips a lot; i like feeling my hip bone. i like my waist bc it curves in. im pretty neutral about my ass lol i think the size of it fits my body and im not really into having such a huge butt. i used to like hate my boobs so much. i just didnt like them. i didnt like how small they looked compared to other girls i would see. i felt like no guy would want a girl like me with small boobs. i pretty much fell for societys standards or the male gaze with what the “perfect” female body is and id look at my chest and it would feel so flat. foreal in high school i wanted a boob job in the future like your girl just wanted boobies. i still get insecure about them but defff not to the extent that i used to. i used to care so much and now ive gotten more comfortable, but i do sometimes think like damn why cant any gained fat just all go to my tits lol. when i had my after hs “glow up” and felt prettier, there were more guys liking me during college and i put myself more out there and that honestly helped. im just rambling now. anyways, my bf loves my boobs and whenever he’s admiring them and expressing how much he likes them it just makes me happy and my past self needed to hear that sooner. going deeper into it, i feel like this is the root of me being attracted to girls. like i would see a girl with my ideal body type and boobs just bigger than mine and i wanted that bc i felt like that was part of being pretty. ive been admiring girls for so long but i didnt even realize the extent of it and what it meant since i focused on boy crushes in school. i had a lot of female celebrities that i liked; i just thought they were perfect and i wanted to be them. omg on that note, im very glad that i no longer have thoughts where i wish i was white. i cant believe i even thought of what i wanted to look like. i hated my eyes, my nose, my side profile. i’ve gained more acceptance to my facial features (still not a fan of my side profile tho lol). ive embraced being asian and i dont feel any internal racism anymore. also, middle school/hs can really ruin your confidence and i feel like its inevitable for everyone. anyways, another thing i like are my collar bones and that whole part of my body. very minuscule, but i like my wrists. i would wrap my fingers around them and try each finger to figure out their size and go up my arm until my fingers couldnt touch. during college is when i noticed my body changing more. i was losing more fat and some to me felt like baby fat. so i noticed my wrists getting smaller and looking more dainty and flat, like how i wanted. even my fingers shrunk. towards the second half of college, i would put on rings id wear a lot and they became loose more often and like now, they completely slide on my finger. in hs i thought my fingers looked so chubby and my ring size felt too big. anyways, ill finish and stop rambling now but its kind of eye opening typing all of this out. ive also been writing my thoughts wayyy more often on here. years back i never posted a text post and i barely posted my own pics too, so ive been using my “blog” to write and post more original stuff // 7.22.22
#journal#mypost#ohmygod theres actually a character limit on here i never knew that lol#i already finished what i wanted to say but i accidentally typed#tmi
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though i do want to give credit bc i think my opinion of thas/min is shifting more and more - where i really, really, am starting to buy into the idea of them more, but im still extremely unhappy with what the show has given to us and its honestly just making me MORE frustrated.
bc like: before this ep, i was warm to the idea of it but i wasnt a thas/min girlie. i think the premise is sound, and i dont always buy into doc/companion type ships so easily. but that was it! it was like a passing, oh i like it, oh i think its cute, but i dont have ANY investment and truly i still... dont, not fully, but i am, as i said, frustrated.
bc we finally got to see them together, properly! and isnt that fucking funny? isnt that fucking hilarious it took them this long? yaz felt like an actual god damn companion, for the first time! in an otherwise unremarkable episode, that also dropped the ball... like maybe im crazy. maybe im gassing it up too much- and i know i am, but god.... its like.
its like i was saying before. in s11, yaz was constantly relegated to just a fucking set piece or someone to chuck a line at. she didnt get to do anything. in s12 and flux, either:
the exact same thing would happen. yaz would be in a scene with the doctor, and the other companions, but the doctor would be the one doing the whole scene by herself
yaz would be separated from the doctor entirely. in fairness, in these scenes they'd have her play the doctor's role- but still, we did not get to see her actual chemistry proper with the doctor
sometimes we'd have scenes where, again, they'd halt the entire momentum of the episode and put yaz & the doctor (or sometimes - actually, usually - another person) into a standalone scene, removed from the actual contents of the episode, and have them "talk"...... though a lot of the time the dialogue and scripts for those conversations were. uh. odd at best
and its like. its bare fucking minimum shit we got, shit that you would not even think to applaud in any other era: bc in this ep, we got the doctor and yaz, organically actually in a scene together that was part of the episode, as actual characters alive in a story, actually moving it forward and having back and forth in the scenes. like to be clear- i think their moments alone were nice, and the dialogue (see, bullet point 3) was improved over the very stunted, mechanic stuff they usually get saddled with BUT im not talking abt that when i say i liked tha/smin in this ep! im talking abt them on that ship together- abt them actually talking to the sea devils, abt them both being pushy abt their personalities coming out and them playing off of each other and its like... GOD ! YEAH. RIGHT. THIS IS HOW A FUCKING. STORY IS SUPPOSED TO BLOODY WORK, YOU KNOW!? THIS IS HOW CHARACTERS ARE... SUPPOSED TO INTERACT.
not in weird disjointed little moments, where they cant handle story & characters at once so they relegate them to either moving the plot mechanically forward or dealing with character development separately. theyre like actual fucking ppl existing with a narrative. crazy. holy shit. and thats the thing! bc we REALLY HAVENT GOTTEN THAT BARE BASICS.... it is NOW when i realise oh. oh you know what. i actually like it when yaz and the doctor talk to each other! i actually like it when they have extended scenes together! they have a nice chemistry! fucking shame its their penultimate ep, after.... oh my god how many years has it been. oh my god.
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Failure to Communicate
This was a joint collab fic that @gukslut and I worked on, commissioned by @cypherft-v as part of our fundraising for Black Lives Matter. Thank you for contributing! Banner & moodboard by me :)
{Pairing} Park Jimin/ Reader
{Genre} Enemies to Lovers/ College AU/ comedy/ smut
{Rating} Mature - Explicit
{Word Count} 21K
{Warnings} oral, kissing, fingering, protected sex, biting, marking, other filthy shit
{Summary} You've always had a crush on Park Jimin, but the truth is that you're just one of many. He just so happens to be the TA for one of your classes, and you're determined to make your feelings known. Whether or not he takes you seriously remains to be seen.
{Prompt} Could either of you write an enemies to lover story about jimin and y/n set in college where he was her TA and got her kicked out of her major bc he didnt give her the grade she needed and was generally unhelpful?
Posted on tumblr on August 17, 2020 by stutterfly and cross-posted to Ao3. I do not allow reposting, translations, or edits, to any platform, including YouTube.
Ten more minutes. You can barely see the clock from your seat against the wall. The lecture hall isn't crowded by any means; to the contrary, this Tuesday/Thursday psych class is usually pretty empty. You could have just as easily sat in the middle, but it doesn't afford you the same view. Well, it does. But not the one you prefer. It's just that positioned front and center, your staring would look more obvious. At least that's what you're telling yourself. If you stare from the corner it's less conspicuous, which is important because you do a lot of staring in this class. Park Jimin is the TA.
The man in question sits off to the side at a table of his own, typing away on his laptop. This reminds you that you haven’t been doing much other than quietly ogling from a distance. The only notes you're taking are lackluster doodles of his appearance and the occasional squiggle of your pen at the quiet sighs he lets out when he stretches his back after sitting hunched over his laptop for too long.
Jimin is absolutely breathtaking — even in an ugly plaid three-piece suit and perfectly round spectacles that would look horrid on any normal person. You're definitely not the only one who has noticed. His beautiful features and fantastic bone structure forge a man who is borderline ethereal. With soft eyes, big pouty lips, a flawless complexion, and a flirtatious demeanor he has enraptured many over the years. He's popular... like, really popular.
You begrudgingly count yourself among those love-smitten numbers. You know it’s hopeless and illogical. He could have any person he so desired at any point in time. Why would he ever choose someone like you? If you’d been paying any sort of attention to the subject matter of this class you might know that things like feelings and life’s rhetorical questions often don’t make sense.
But you’re shit at psychology. You’re more of a blunt poet at heart, and that heart is often hidden behind twisted brambles of anxiety and sharp thorns of insecurity.
You are but a speck of dirt upon his round glasses. It’s been a hopeless, silent crush for some time, but now that he’s assisting the professor in this core requirement for your academic studies, he has to acknowledge your presence. You’re a speck he has to look at before swiping you out of sight with a wave of his hand.
He's the object of just about everyone's affections, and rightfully so. He's not just gorgeous, he's charismatic, charming, and such a smooth talker. The word on campus says those pretty lips of his can do a lot of other really wonderful things too. You've been watching him chew on them for the past five minutes straight, wondering how many times his deliciously pink tongue can sweep over them before he makes them chapped.
Maybe they're chapped already. Maybe you should offer him your chapstick? Or maybe you should never talk to him at all, because you don't stand a chance. Park Jimin would chew you up and leave you bleeding out with a broken heart, and you know it. That doesn't stop you from imagining all the ways he could take you in his mouth first. You could watch those pretty lips all day long, but you’ll settle for an hour on Tuesdays and Thursdays.
Looking up as if he's been paying attention all along, Jimin attempts to figure out where the professor is in the lesson. It’s obvious that he wasn't listening at all and was instead answering messages. It would be nice if he could say they were messages for class, but that's not true and Jimin is a lot of things, but he isn't a liar. He's been talking to Chungha, his current flavor of the week.
He turns toward the students as the professor dismisses the class and there you are, eager and awestruck. It takes every ounce of self control Jimin has not to roll his eyes. Another fan, he presumes. You can't handle him, but he can tell by the embarrassed way you tear your eyes from him to look anywhere else that it hasn't stopped you from thinking about it.
Trying to seem nonchalant now is a lost cause. Jimin has no shame and although you busied yourself by packing up your neglected textbooks and darting your gaze to various points in the room for a straight minute, Jimin is still staring at you when you look back at him. He smirks when your eyes meet. It's not a flirty kind of smirk, you sadly note. It's condescending in your eyes, which further solidifies your theory: Jimin is too much for you no matter how badly you want a taste of him.
"Did you take notes?" he asks, nodding toward your backpack where you've just tucked your computer and sketched up notebook.
"I- uhh..." You panic.
"You know that was all about the exam next week. You're gonna need those notes if you want to have any hope of passing it," he tells you, shoving his own computer into his bag.
"I was just.. um, I was--" you attempt to explain.
"Busy staring at me?" He smiles and you know he knows exactly what he’s doing. He’s teasing oh gyou.
You balk at the blatant accusation and force a half-laugh, half-scoff from your throat. “No.”
"Yes," he corrects with a light and mellifluous laugh. "Is there pen on my face or were you hoping you could be?"
"What?" you choke, eyes watering at the idea.
Jimin shakes his head, laughing softly to himself as he remembers his surroundings. With a small clear of his throat and the subtle adjusting of his tie, he provides a suggestion for you. “Get them from Taehyung.”
"Get what?" you ask, drawing a blank on what this conversation was even about. It's the first time you've ever actually talked to him outside of your dreams and it’s proving to be a lot harder than you thought it would be.
"The notes, Y/N. Get the notes from Taehyung, you know, the ones that you didn't take today because you were daydreaming about my mouth," he tells you, heading for the door.
Taehyung, who is the only other person left in the room wiggles his fingers at you in a wave. When you turn back, Jimin is gone.
"Need the notes?" Taehyung asks, voice free of judgement.
"Please," you sigh, relieved that he'd waited.
He spins his laptop toward you, where an email is already open with the notes attachment added. "Drop your address in there," he says standing up.
"Thank you so much," you say, frantically typing your student email into the space.
"Hey, y/n?" Taehyung asks, the bristles of curiosity or concern painting his tone with a soft comfort.
"Yeah?"
"Jimin is a fool," he tells you.
"What?"
"If you were looking at me like that, I'd at least ask for your number." Tae offers a combination of large hopeful eyes and a giant goofy grin as he holds his phone out for you.
Giggling, you take it from his hand and add your number to his contacts list. He purses his lips to hide his excitement as he takes his phone back. He slides it into his pocket before hastily packing the rest of his things into his leather messenger bag.
"Thanks, Taehyung," you say, waving on your way out the door.
"Wait!" he shouts after you, half of the contents of his bag threatening to spill onto the floor as he scrambles away from the table. He adjusts his belongings and clears his throat, instantly adopting a smooth persona. "Where are you going? I'll walk you."
"My car?"
"Wanna come eat with me?" he wonders. He's confident, but it's not the same kind of arrogant confidence that Jimin oozes. He's softer. He feels more real, more attainable. He obviously knows he's a catch and he’s definitely expressed the same about you. What could be the harm in letting an attractive man stroke your ego a little bit? If you’re being honest with yourself, you can use the boost after such a pathetic display towards your crush.
"Oh, uh... yeah. I guess so," you agree, letting him lead the way out the door.
"Cool." Tae takes his glasses off and hooks them in his shirt. Pulling a snapback from his bag, he pushes his hair back and puts it on before he swings his messenger bag over his shoulder. Damn. Why did that raise his hotness like ten whole levels?
"You like hamburgers?"
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Taehyung slips into the seat next to you on Thursday, brushing against you very deliberately as he passes.
"Hello, sugar," he says, licking his lips as he spares a fleeting glance down at your chest.
"Hey, Tae," you greet him while your eyes are still locked on Jimin.
"Still on Jimin, huh?" he asks. He doesn't sound particularly disappointed, or surprised for that matter. He's just stating a fact. You're relieved he's not offended. Letting him eat you out in his backseat after dinner was probably not your best decision, although it seems like it meant about as much to him as it did to you.
"I don't know," you say with a shrug.
"It's okay. I can't blame you. I could put in a good word for you if you want. We're close," he informs you, sitting back and spreading his legs wide under the desk.
Sighing, you rest your cheek in your palm. "I've got a plan," you confess.
"Oh yeah?" he chuckles. He playfully knocks his knee against yours as if to signal for you to spill. "Do tell."
"I think I need a little extra help with this material," you tell Taehyung.
"Good luck, Y/n. I hope he can squeeze you into his busy schedule, but hey, if he can't, I'm totally down to squeeze into yours anytime."
Looking at Tae out of the corner of your eye, you smile at the grin he wears and start to laugh at the way he wiggles his eyebrows at you.
"I'll keep that in mind," you joke.
"Please do."
The minutes drag on as you wait for this class to end. Doing your best to seem a little less obsessive this time, you make a point to take notes and look at the teacher more than the TA. Jimin still catches you staring at least three times. It's embarrassing, but not enough to stop you from approaching him as the room empties out.
"Hi, y/n," Jimin sings, giving you a knowing smile.
"Hi." You tuck your hair behind your ear, and smile back.
"Do you need something?" he wonders, purposefully combing his fingers through his silver hair.
Damn, do you ever.
"I was wondering if you had time to help me. I'm struggling with this material and I could really use some one-on-one guidance." Leaning over his desk you make sure he has a good view right down your shirt, not that his eyes wander from yours. While he shows restraint in his gaze you swear he briefly drags his bottom lip through his teeth before he catches himself.
"One-on-one, huh?" He sticks his tongue in his cheek, looking amused. "I bet Taehyung would give you some one-on-one guidance."
You're sure that's true, but it's not Taehyung you're after. Taehyung isn’t the TA. Taehyung isn’t getting paid to help teach a course. Of course you want to say that and in your head you rehearse the words but you can’t seem to find a way to phrase them eloquently enough. Why do you always get stupid brain around him? Your plan is quickly falling apart.
Jimin waits for your response with his eyebrows raised. You know he's two seconds away from leaving you gaping at him and walking out the door, so you do something incredibly rash and stupid.
"I like you," you blurt out.
Jimin smiles. He knows that, obviously. He also knows damn well that you're perfectly capable of looking back at your notes by yourself. You're definitely smart and dedicated enough to study on your own. He can't help teasing you anyway.
"Everyone likes me," he casually informs you as he plants his palms on the desk and leans on them.
He peeks over the edge of his glasses as he looks up at you, like some kind of otherworldly sexy librarian. If deities ever needed a librarian, Jimin wouldn’t even need a resume. His charm and seduction are so strong that you almost miss his rejection. Almost. You're stunned into silence when it hits you. Just as you're about to tuck and run, he smiles again.
"But,” he pauses to click his tongue thoughtfully, “I think I have some time on Saturday. I'll give you my number.” He rips a corner of paper out of his notebook. "Is it okay if I come to your place? Do you have a dorm or…”
"Oh. My apartment’s fine!" you flounder, trying to remember how to speak coherent sentences. Jimin. In your room. How many dreams have you had about this moment? "I mean, yeah, sure. You'll come to mine, yeah."
Jimin giggles and it sounds like pealing bells. You're lost in the beautiful sound of it until you realize that he's laughing at you. "You okay with that? We could meet somewhere else instead."
"I wouldn't mind you in my room," you sigh. Open mouth; insert foot.
He raises an eyebrow, giving you a chance to backtrack, but you're both well aware you meant every word of that.
"Okay, y/n. See you Saturday then. Call me."
"I’ll call you," you repeat, resisting the urge to slap your palm over your face. You sound like an idiot. Stupid brain strikes again.
Jimin barely notices, all too used to girls falling over themselves to get his attention. You’re no different to him, just another pretty face in a sea of women entranced by the way he walks, talks, and breathes. It’s not his fault he’s so damn pretty. He does note that you’re brave, however. Not many people come on to him so brazenly, and that’s something worth rewarding. Besides, he feels a sort of obligation to help you out. He is getting paid to help out the professor, after all.
He winks at you as he leaves, taking your breath and your sanity with him. You have Park Jimin’s phone number. Park Jimin is going to be in your apartment in two days. Maybe you didn’t bomb that as hard as you thought.
A slow clap beckons you to look back for the source and you find Taehyung looking back at you with his boxy grin. When he’s sure he’s got your attention he raises his two thumbs up in approval.
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Jimin is not surprised when Chungha disappears into the clusterfuck of bodies as soon as they step into the party. They may have come here together, but their fling is on its last leg and they both know it. She wants him off her couch, doesn't appreciate the feeling of tied-down-ness that comes with your friend with benefits staying over all the time. She's ready to move on, that means he has to as well.
Jimin isn't even sure whose house this is, but he’s happy to tag along for free booze and maybe a new face to go home with. Luckily, his friends are never far, and he finds them easily. Getting absolutely hammered in the backyard makes them hard to miss. Jungkook is the only one looking particularly bored as a very drunk Taehyung hangs all over him talking about the sweetest thing he ever tasted.
"Why so glum?" Jimin asks, nudging Jungkook's shoulder with his own.
"I'm the designated driver tonight," Jungkook sighs, pushing Taehyung off of him.
Taehyung slumps to the ground, immediately entranced by the stars above him. Jungkook kicks at him gently.
"Where's your girlfriend? I haven't seen you without your tongue down her throat all week," Jungkook wonders, looking behind Jimin for the woman in question.
"Girlfriend," Jimin repeats with a snort. "Hilarious. That's not a thing. She's probably looking for her next kill."
Jungkook regards Jimin thoughtfully, his eyebrows scrunching toward each other. "If you take over DD you can have the futon."
Jungkook loves his futon. It's one of his most prized possessions. He keeps it very clean and being allowed to get anywhere near it is a privilege. Jimin is pretty sure he goes over it with a lint roller as part of his nighttime routine. It's also incredibly comfortable.
Jimin releases a breath in a tortured groan as he thinks over his options. He could get black out drunk and wake up god knows where with a terrible hangover, or he could hang out and watch his friends get black out drunk and then wake up on a futon that feels more like a cloud than a mattress, a little slice of heaven in Jungkook and Taehyung's little apartment.
"Okay," Jimin relents. "Give me the keys. I’ll stick to water for the rest of the night."
"Ah, I love you man," Jungkook praises, tossing his keys in Jimin's general direction before grabbing the newly opened can of beer out of Taehyung's hand below him. Taehyung, still staring up at the sky with a glazed smile, doesn't react. It takes Jungkook all of five seconds to pour the contents of the can straight down his throat. He follows this by smashing the can in a bicep curl with a giggle and a bashful smile.
"Do it again," an unfamiliar girly voice pleads from across the table. She tosses him another can and he repeats the action, turning away when he's finished so that he doesn't have to see her reaction. Jimin knows what's going to happen once his friend gets a few more beers in him. Jungkook is going to go apeshit. There will be no trace of this shy hunk of muscle who blushes and coils away from pretty girls. He'll be chest thumping shirtless and picking up everyone who gets close enough to touch. Half of them will probably end up thrown in the pool, if history is anything to go by, and he'll most likely have the hottest girl at the party slobbering all over him in the backseat when Jimin drives him home tonight.
Jimin's suspicions prove true an hour later when Jungkook throws Tae in the pool. Jimin runs to the edge of it in a panic. Tae was very drunk so he needs to make sure he's not just sinking like a stone. That was his first mistake, although he'd make it again to keep Taehyung safe. His second mistake was wearing these ridiculously tight ass jeans.
Any other pair and he might have been able to pry his cell phone from his pocket the second he felt JK's hands on his back. Had he worn any other pair of pants he might have been able to throw it to safety in the grass before he hit the surface of the pool. As it stands, his skin tight jeans are soaked through, Tae is slightly more sober than he was when Jimin arrived and is swimming just fine, and Jimin's phone is totally destroyed.
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You should be sleeping. It's three in the morning. You should definitely not be awake right now. Lifting your phone up for the three hundredth time tonight, you're not surprised to have no new notifications. That text you sent to Jimin hours ago has gone unanswered.
You typed and erased it at least ten times, agonized over what to say, and how to say it. By the time you pressed send, the message was nothing like how it began and you noticed a second too late that you didn't even tell him who you were. Adding a second text saying 'it's y/n btw' seemed so desperate. You've been waiting for him to ask who you are for so long that you've convinced yourself he already knows and he's avoiding you on purpose. Who else would have said "i'm excited to see you tomorrow" in a text about meeting up to study? He knows it's you. He has to. The alternative possibility that he plans to see other people tomorrow too is too bothersome to accept. You really need to let this go and try to sleep.
Keys in the door stop you from dragging yourself off the couch. Your roommate will see you and accuse you of trying to run away from him to avoid something. He’s right, of course. You’ve attempted to flee from your problems in the past, against his advice. Now you know better than to try. It's much better to face things with Yoongi head on. At the very least, maybe he's got something helpful to say.
"Why're you up? You look sad." His words slur just the tiniest bit and he leans against the wall for stability as he takes off his shoes just inside the door. You see right through his attempts at nonchalance. He's tipsy.
"A boy I like isn't texting me back," you admit with a scowl. "You didn't drive, did you?"
"No, friend dropped me off. Is it Taehyung?" Yoongi asks, not pausing for an answer. "I wouldn't worry too much. He talked about you a lot tonight. He was really drunk though. You should go to bed. He'll probably text you in the morning."
You don't bother to correct Yoongi. Admitting you're harboring a huge fucking crush on the campus it-boy is the most foolish thing you could possibly do. It's embarrassing and naive and Yoongi would pity you for falling for someone so far out of your league. Maybe you should just date Taehyung and forget about Jimin. He sure seems to have forgotten about you.
When the morning comes and your only notifications are an email from Target and a text from your mom, you muster up every bit of courage you could possibly find in your body and call him. You’d rather know if he’s deliberately ignoring you now than agonize over other possibilities all day.
It doesn't even ring. His phone goes straight to voicemail. You try again, and a third time. Voicemail, voicemail. Could it be you rushed putting his number in and did it incorrectly? You dig through your backpack for the slip of paper he gave you to double check, and sure enough, it’s his number. He's ignoring you. He turned off his phone to solidify that fact in your brain.
Last night, laying awake waiting for his name to light up your phone, you felt pretty damn bad. In the daylight, with rest and a clear head, you're absolutely crushed. He was supposed to come over. You had plans. It was stupid of you to think you could earn space in his mind or time in his schedule. He played you, and it hurts.
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Studying on your own proves more difficult than you imagined. With only Tae's notes to go by, you feel like you're quizzing yourself on things you already know. Turning to the textbook doesn't give you the specialized knowledge you need for the exam. You could never hope to memorize enough of it that you'd retain something pertinent.
On top of that, your heart hurts. You were so close to spending time together you could practically smell the subtle scent of his cologne. He pulled the rug right out from under you so fast, your ass is sore from falling on it so hard.
Sunday and Monday pass miserably in their slowness as you continue to nurse your tender rejected heart. You spend two days mulling over how you're going to face Jimin on Tuesday, let alone how you’re going to pass this exam when you're so disgustingly focused on figuring out why he stood you up and ignored you all weekend.
Tuesday comes too soon and you find yourself lingering outside the lecture hall for way longer than any sane person should.
That's what bothers you the most about this whole thing with Jimin. He's stolen your sense. How on earth did you let a stupid crush, on a boy you hardly know, get between you and your grades? You tell yourself no more as you suck in a deep breath and steel yourself to march right through the door. You're not going to let Park Jimin and his cruelty stand between you and your credits.
With your resolve solid and your head held high, you push yourself forward. You don't even spare a glance in his general direction as you pass, although it would be a lie to say you didn't clock him in your peripheral. Tae sits down next to you a moment later and you thank your lucky stars you have a friend here to make you look busy.
"Ready to make this exam your bitch?" he asks, making finger guns at you and clicking his tongue.
"That remains to be seen," you say, turning toward him in your seat so that Jimin is behind you. "I couldn't get anything done this weekend," you confess. "I thought I was more prepared than I am so it really just depends on what's on the exam."
"Aw fuck, you could have called me," he says, passing you his note cards. "We could have studied together."
"Oh, Tae," you sigh, pushing his hand back and refusing his offer of notes. "You should use this time for yourself. It wouldn't be fair of me to take it from you."
"We've got ten minutes." He points to the clock at the front of the lecture hall. "Quiz me. It will help us both."
Ten minutes fly by as you do your absolute best to retain any of the information in Taehyung's carefully written cards. You take one last glance at it before someone slips it from your hand and replaces it with a test. You know it's Jimin.
Only when you look up and level him with a glare does it seem to register on his face that you're angry. Realization dawns on him as you snatch the test and lean over it on your desk.
"Y/n, I'm so sorry," he quietly whispers, but he's moving on already. The exam is about to begin. He doesn't have time to explain himself right now. He knows what it looks like. He led you on and stood you up without so much as a text message. He should have asked Tae to tell you what happened, but the truth is that he forgot about you entirely and he knows that is the cruelest thing he could possibly confess.
Nearly an hour later you set your pencil down and run your fingers through your hair. Did any of those answers make sense? Your only possible saving grace is bullshitting your way through the open responses. Maybe you’ll earn some partial credit at the very least.
You swallow the petty words threatening to spill from your tongue as you gather your things and approach Jimin’s desk with your test in hand. You’d be lying if you said you didn’t notice the anxious glances he threw your way. You swore every time you looked up he was looking at you, so you’d squint like you were checking the time, like you had somewhere more important to be than taking an exam for a core requirement course.
As you slap the packet of your evident failure down on his desk, you don your best apathetic expression. You look down at him and allow a sliver of eye contact, just enough to send the message that you don’t care anymore. You try to look bored. He doesn’t deserve to see how he’s hurt you or angered you. He’s nothing to you. You’re nothing to him, but you’re not beneath him. He’s beneath you. You don’t just look at him; you look through him.
He blinks a few times and a chill runs down his spine. He opens his mouth to speak, but the words won’t form.
“Don’t bother. I don’t care,” you whisper with a roll of your eyes.
You make sure to straighten your shoulders and keep your chin up as you turn on your heel and leave. You bombed that exam and you know it, thanks to your stupid feelings, but at the very least you achieved the victory of shaking Park Jimin to his core. So why do you feel like you’re about to sob in the bathroom down the hall?
Oh. Because you are. You spend at least five minutes composing yourself and washing your face before your phone buzzes with a much needed distraction.
[NEW MESSAGE] Tae: hungry?
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Jimin’s leg bounces uncontrollably under his desk while he waits for the remaining students to finish their exams so he can go after you. He wracks his brain for ways to clear the nervous tension dwelling within but it’s no use. Confrontation makes him so uncomfortable. Still, he can’t have you thinking he’s a total douche. He should text you. Fuck, he should call you. And he would, if he had a working phone. The second the last student drops their exam on his desk he’s going to find you and apologize.
He knows his reputation precedes him. He knows exactly what this looks like. You probably think he blew you off to get some or just led you on entirely, but he really did mean to meet up with you. He needs to clear the air. Maybe he’s a little loose with his morals at times, but he’s never an asshole on purpose. He prides himself on being a beacon of positivity and an example on how to make people feel good even if it’s only to make them feel good. He barely knows you, but it bothers him to think that you’re out there thinking he’s a heartless jerk and that he hurt your feelings on purpose.
It’s a big campus and Jimin spends the better half of an hour searching it before he finds you in the cafeteria with Taehyung. You look awfully close, and he almost feels bad interrupting you, but he owes you an explanation. It’s a mystery to him why on earth you would seek out his company when Taehyung seems all too willing to be what you need.
Taehyung notices him before you do. He shakes his head at Jimin disapprovingly. “Cold, man. So cold.”
Jimin nods, hanging his head. He’s well aware. You haven’t turned around yet and don’t intend to. If Jimin can ignore you then you can ignore him too. Besides, if you turn to face him, he might notice your watery, puffy eyes. How incredibly foolish that would be to admit that you’ve been crying about being stood up by someone you’ve barely even spoken to.
“Y/n?” Jimin’s soft voice calls to you, melodic and soothing as ever. “Can I have a minute?”
Taehyung looks between the two of you while he moves a french fry into his mouth at a snail’s pace and slowly chews as if this is free entertainment.
“No,” you answer.
“I’m sorry about Saturday,” he tells you, progressing despite your refusal to listen. He plants his hands on the table beside you and leans in to try to steal a glance at your profile, but you turn your head away.
“Jungkook pushed me in the pool right after this asshole,” he says, pointing at Taehyung. “My phone was in my pocket. It’s ruined.”
“Hey,” Taehyung interrupts, his mouth open in protest and full of half-chewed fries. “Don’t pin this on me. You could have asked any one of us to let her know what happened. You never even mentioned it. Why don’t you just admit that you forgot?” Taehyung suggests, jamming another french fry into his little paper cup of ketchup before cramming it into his mouth.
Jimin fumes for a moment, glaring at Tae before he pulls out the chair next to you and spins it around. He straddles it and rests his chin on the backrest. “Y/n, I’m sorry. I forgot. I swear I never would have done something like that to you on purpose. My phone getting ruined messed up a lot of things, but if you give me another chance, I’d love to prove that I’m not the horrible person you think I am.”
Silence. You glance over at Taehyung, willing him to speak up and either back Jimin up or get you out of this. You’re ready to forgive Jimin already and leave with him right now and it’s not lost on you how bad that looks. It’s so easy for Jimin to have you wrapped around his fingers. You wish he was ugly. You wish you never signed up for this stupid class. You wish you could feel for Tae the way you feel for Jimin so that you could just leave with him instead. You’re about ready to anyway when he finally opens his mouth again.
“I think you should take her out to eat. Eating out is the perfect way to apologize, don’t you think?” Tae’s grin is so wide it makes his eyes crinkle.
You huff out a humorless laugh. If that’s what you wanted you’d stick with the original plan and be in the backseat of Taehyung’s car again in the next twenty minutes. Against your better judgement, you turn to look at Jimin, puffy eyes and runny nose no longer hidden. He’s a little taken back by your expression. He smiles at you softly and reaches out to brush his knuckles against your cheek. You practically melt into his touch.
“Mmm, I would like something sweet.” Jimin licks his lips. “How about ice cream?”
“When?” you ask, embarrassed by the way your voice cracks and by how easily you’re giving in.
“Now?”
“Well, look at the time,” Tae says, standing with his tray and messenger bag. “I’ve got to go wash my hair but you two have fun on your date. Use protection!” he calls behind him on his way toward the exit.
You’d be irritated by his blunt suggestion if his statement didn’t swirl a storm of butterflies deep in your gut. You’re so distracted by them that you don’t realize that you’re still gaping at Jimin in disbelief.
“So?” Jimin wonders, holding out his hand.
“I don’t forgive you,” you insist while taking it into yours. Although it’s probably a lie, he doesn’t call you on it. He simply smiles and gives your hand a tiny comforting squeeze.
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“My car is on the other side of campus,” you tell him once you’ve stepped outside. “Where are you parked?”
“Oh, um,” he stalls. “I thought it might be nice to walk, give us more time to talk. Is that okay?”
“Isn’t it kind of far?” you ask, assuming he's taking you to that chain ice cream shoppe a few miles off campus.
"No, this place is close. It's a secret. Not many people know about it," he says with a wink.
"You say that to everyone don't you?" You narrow your eyes at him, moving out of reach when he tries to put his arm around you.
"No," he laughs. "I've been here with other people, though. I was here with Jin last week." He smiles, leading the way toward a small alley between buildings.
You follow him easily, questioning again why you have so little self preservation when it comes to him. At the other end of the alley you can see what looks like a park. Green trees line the sidewalk up ahead, creating a canopy against the brilliant sun. The walk to this mysterious ice cream place is shaded and chilly. Jimin slips his jacket off and slings it over your shoulders when he notices you rubbing at your arms.
"Almost there," he promises. In the distance, framed by two towering oaks, is a tiny little ice cream place. It looks like a mirage, something out of a board game or a fairy tale. The closer you get, the more real it becomes. The siding is faded, the roof looks like it's in dire need of repairs, and the hand-painted sign reading The Cheery Cherry has seen better days. It's clean though, sparkling in all the places that matter.
There is a stout old man behind the window with a shining silver ice cream scoop ready and waiting in his hand. Jimin greets him by name and asks for a simple vanilla cone. You're tempted to judge him, he doesn't strike you as the vanilla type, but there must be a reason. Maybe this is the best vanilla ice cream on earth. You order the same just in case, taking your first taste as Jimin pulls a few bills from his wallet and hands them over with a shaky hand.
To your dismay the ice cream is not extraordinary; it's just plain vanilla. You could probably get the same exact type from any grocery store. You should have gone with something else. You should have at least gotten the cheery cherry cone. That might have been a flavor worth tasting. Why was he so bent on coming here for such a bland ice cream?
You suppose you should be thankful for the gesture but you still feel uneasy, like he’s playing you somehow. It almost feels like he’s doing it out of obligation rather than desire. Is he doing the bare minimum because he doesn’t feel like you’re worth more than this? Your company must be the equivalent to a plain vanilla cone. Mediocre. Unremarkable. Ordinary.
Forgettable.
Jimin turns back to you with his ice cream in one hand and change filling the other. "Is it good?"
"It's vanilla." You shrug.
"Do you want something different?" he asks, counting the money in his hand.
"No, I like vanilla."
"Figures," he teases.
"What's that supposed to mean?" you snap back at him.
"Nothing, sweetheart. I just think you're soft, sweet. Vanilla suits you."
"I am not vanilla. I do all kinds of freaky shit," you argue, realizing too late that you've over shared in your annoyance.
Jimin looks you over with a smirk, bringing his ice cream to his lips and dragging his tongue around the edge of the cone where it's dripping. "Noted," he says.
"I didn't mean-- I wasn't -- UGH," you huff, embarrassed that he's still making a fool of you from the doghouse. You need to change the subject fast. "What'syourmajor?" You rush the question past your lips and he laughs at your flustered state, waiting for you to slow down and ask him in words he can understand.
"Your major?" you repeat, slower this time.
"Oh, uh. Urban studies."
"Interesting."
"You don't know what that means, huh?" He nudges you with his elbow, falling in stride beside you. Unfortunately, you had just brought your ice cream up to your mouth and his nudging caused you to smear it across your cheek.
You look at him angrily. First he stood you up, forgot about you, then he had the nerve to show up to class today looking like a fucking angel, takes you for ice cream to make it up to you, and now he's teasing you and making you look every bit the fool you feel like you are. Tears well in your eyes when he laughs at the mess he caused.
"I'm sorry," he says through his giggling. He reaches out to gently wipe your cheek with his thumb which he promptly pops in his mouth and sucks clean after. "What's wrong?"
You swipe at your eyes, ridding them of the tears that were about to spill out as your shame bubbles over. "You make me feel stupid," you confess. "You're wasting my time."
Shoving his jacket back at him, you take off in the direction you came, throwing your stupid vanilla cone in the closest trash can and kicking yourself for not leaving with Taehyung instead. Jimin winces at the action, looking like you’ve discarded a precious keepsake rather than a plain, boring vanilla cone.
"Y/n, wait!" he calls, catching up to you with ease. He takes you by the wrist and spins you back to face him. "I don't think you're stupid at all. I’m sorry I’m so bad at this.” He sighs, softening his hold on you. “I didn’t know what to think about you when you approached me at first, you know? Girls throw themselves at me all the time.”
You grimace at his words and roll your eyes, snatching your wrist back with a scowl. Of course he thinks you were throwing yourself at him, but you’re sure that you weren’t. You were just being direct about your feelings. Do you really come across as such a desperate person? Maybe you should ask Yoongi for his opinion later.
“But I definitely didn’t mean to stand you up and I don’t mean to make you feel stupid at all. I think you're pretty smart, you’re cute and you’re actually bolder than I initially thought. I'd love to get to know you better. I know I'm not doing so great so far, but I can be better. Please, sit with me?" he asks, walking to a nearby park bench.
Reluctantly, you follow, although you make a point to drag your feet the whole way there. When you sit down beside him, he loops an arm around your waist and draws you closer, offering his ice cream up to you once your legs brush against his. You reach for it but he pulls it away.
"Hey," he jokes. "Just lick it. I didn't make you throw yours away."
You shake your head and lean forward to drag your tongue over what's left of his vanilla cone.
"Forgive me?" he asks. His toothy smile catches the sunlight and it genuinely hurts your eyes to keep looking.
"Okay. One more chance," you agree. "So, urban studies?"
He relaxes back against the bench, taking another lick before he offers the cone to you again. "Yeah, it's like community development and stuff. What about you, princess? What are you studying?"
You flush at the nickname, heat rising in your face and other places you'd rather not acknowledge. You're oblivious to the fact that you're having a similar effect on Jimin. The way you're licking his ice cream is making his pants feel a little tight.
"Teaching," you tell him, picking at the peeling paint on the bench.
"Little kids?"
"Yeah." You take another lick of his ice cream while he holds it, looking up halfway through.
Jimin's expression is unreadable, stunned almost. He shifts a little, crosses his legs, clears his throat.
"Kids are fun. I have a younger brother," he tells you.
"A lot younger?"
"No," he laughs. "But he's a total baby so it's basically the same.”
“Oh, does he get that from you?” you tease with a giggle.
His mouth drops open in surprise. “Hey,” he pouts. “That’s not nice.”
“I never said I was nice,” you tell him, taking another slow lick of his ice cream.
“Clearly,” he scoffs with a roll of his eyes. He drags his lip through his teeth to try to hide the smile curling at the corners of his mouth.
You manage to cram so much conversation into the next twenty minutes on this park bench, learning more about the mysterious campus celebrity than you ever thought you’d know. You hope his interest wasn't feigned, because it felt so fucking good to have his attention, to have him really listen to you and ask you about your life and your family and your hopes for the future. If you're not mistaken, you might think this was real progress.
Jimin watches you walk back toward campus with a soft smile and an unfamiliar feeling brewing inside him. You've surprised him. You're not the naive infatuated little girl he took you for. If he had a phone he'd be texting you already. He'd call you tonight, and maybe tomorrow. It's alarming to him how badly he wants another ten minutes with you. He hates that you declined his offer to walk you to your next class, but damn does he ever appreciate the view.
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Thursday comes quickly. After your initial ice cream date, Jimin has found himself curiously seeking your attention rather than the other way around. With his phone out of commission he was hanging around the cafeteria all day yesterday in hopes of catching you. While it’s clear you don’t trust him and you haven’t forgiven him, you seem to have softened up a bit. You spent your meals together and allowed him to walk you to your classes, all while exchanging playful jabs at each other. You might forgive him for bailing if yesterday stood alone. Today is a whole different story.
Now Jimin is staring down a stack of graded exams the professor has dropped on the table at the front of the room. Students haven’t begun to trickle in yet so when the professor takes the opportunity to excuse himself, Jimin wastes no time in flipping through the pile to get a sense of the overall success of the class. When he gets to a test marked in thick red marker with an ‘F’ his stomach drops. He knows it’s yours before he even reads the name. He was hoping maybe you’d been lying about not paying attention.
He shuffles the exam back into place and straightens the pile just as the earliest student walks in. Jimin offers her a wan smile and a tiny bow of his head as a greeting. Although his stomach is still sinking and churning, he’s already thinking about ways he might be able to make it up to you.
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Jimin finds you in the cafeteria with Taehyung again, where he has you distracted from your misery by folding and unfolding a cootie catcher in front of your face like you're in third grade and not your third year of college.
"Pick a color now, y/n," Tae urges, opening and closing the folded paper four times after you've indicated the triangle marked 'pink.' "Hmm," he ponders. "It says you need to relax."
"What is this, a fortune cookie? I thought these things were like truth or dare, or like... who I was gonna marry," you complain, flicking the craft from his hands.
Jimin picks the paper up off the floor and hands it back to Taehyung. "Do me," he says.
After a moment of pointing and folding, Tae announces, "It says you need to apologize. Again."
Jimin looks at you while Tae packs up his stuff. After dropping a kiss on the top of your head he leaves for his next class. The action makes Jimin furrow his brows and frown. A feeling too uncomfortably close to jealousy blooms in his chest. Why did that bother him so much? He's not ready to acknowledge the answer to that. Instead, he contradicts it by reminding himself that Tae is one of his closest friends and it's cool that the two of you are getting close too.
"Princess?" Jimin's song-like voice drifts to your ears once Tae has disappeared. You've pressed your face into your folded arms on the table and it's taking everything you have not to start crying about your failed exam again. "I'm so sorry," he whispers, laying his hand against the small of your back and beginning to rub soft circles there. "I'm sorry I didn't help you."
"I wish you were ugly," you mumble into your arms.
"What?" he laughs, leaning his face down next to yours.
You lift your head to meet his eyes. "If you were ugly this never would have happened," you insist, sitting up and shaking his hand off your back with a twist of your spine. "Just be ugly! FUCK."
Jimin smiles before screwing his face up into the most unrecognizable grimace he can manage. He holds it until you start to smile then switches to another terrible expression, with his chin tucked into his neck so that it morphs into several chins and crosses his eyes for extra emphasis on its ridiculousness. When you start to laugh he sticks out his tongue to make it worse.
Once you’re clutching your stomach and doubled over with pealing laughter, he gives you the beautiful smile you're so used to again. "Let's do something fun together," he offers. "And then after that, we'll get studying and make this right. Please let me make it up to you."
"Okay," you agree, leaning into his open arms. It only took a couple days of spending time together to remove the awkwardness you felt when he touched you. He's even held your hand a few times while you walked together after your other classes. Now, his embrace feels welcome and comforting. You still can’t tell if he’s just trying to be nice or if he actually likes doing it but you don’t mind at all.
"There's a party on Saturday, will you come with me?"
"Where?" you ask, as if you have any hope of refusing him at all. You'd go anywhere with him and you know it but you want to try to play it cool. Your tone seems more tepid than you anticipate but he doesn’t seem to call you out on it.
"Jin's," he tells you, reaching for your hand and lacing your fingers together.
He rubs his thumb against the back of your hand while he waits for you to pretend to decide. You relish in the motion. The tingle of butterflies erupt in your belly again like a cannon aimed at your heart, ready to sink it in an instant. Instead of falling, your heart seems to fly up to your brain and a light giggle escapes your lips.
"Okay. I'll come," you say in a euphoric brain fog, looking down at your joined hands. It's scary how good it feels to have his attention like this, but you hope it doesn’t stop.
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"Why are you home?" Yoongi asks, finding you on the couch when he emerges from his bedroom. His late afternoon nap went longer than expected, leaving you believing he was out for the night. You settled in with Netflix and snacks of your own. He flops down next to you, causing you to swing your feet off the couch before they get squashed beneath his butt. He yawns and lets his head dip forward as he pulls out his phone and begins flipping through it.
"It's Friday night,” he reminds you, his tone scratchy. It makes you giggle.
"I didn't wanna go out alone and I thought you were gone. You're gonna be up all night now, you know."
"I would have stayed asleep but I've got a friend in need," he mumbles, rubbing the remainder of sleep from his eyes.
"Aww, you're so good to me." You beam, snuggling up to him and wrapping him up in a tight hug.
"Not you," he huffs with a disgusted grimace. “Ugh, that’s enough touching.”
You immediately pull back and scoff. “Wow. You’re lucky I know you know you love me.”
He rolls his eyes. "That’s debatable.”
“Yeah, okay,” you mock him in a tone of disbelief. You pop a chip into your mouth. “So why are you really up— if not to support your wonderful, beautiful, perfectly sculpted local couch potato?”
He smiles and steals the next chip from your hand before you can shove it into your mouth. “If you're good with it, my friend is gonna crash on our couch for a few days. His parents cut him off and he’s got nowhere to go. He’s almost got enough saved up to get his own place, but he could use some help in the meantime. Figured we’re doing alright and we have a couch. You cool with that?"
"Sure," you agree, trusting Yoongi's judgment. He's not gonna let some crazy person stay on your couch. "When?"
"I was just waiting for your approval but I hadn’t gotten a chance to talk to you before I passed out. I'll go pick him up now, if that's good with you," he says slipping his feet into a pair of sandals and looking for his keys.
"What, he doesn't have a car?"
"Sold it to pay for his books this semester. He's got nothing. He's keeping all his clothes in another friend's closet. It's kinda sad."
"That's rough," you agree, blowing out a heavy exhale and turning your attention back to the TV.
"I'll be back in a few. Maybe take it to your room so he can have the couch?" Yoongi suggests.
"Sure, sure," you say, already sucked back into your show and forgetting entirely about Yoongi and his friend for now.
『•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••✎•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••』
When Yoongi returns an hour later, you haven't moved. In fact, you’ve crashed… hard. Yoongi and his mystery guest enter to a chorus of your snores and the Friends theme song.
“Hey, get up,” Yoongi urges, nudging your shoulder lightly.
When you peel your eyes open to look at him, you’re utterly mystified to see the object of your affections a few feet behind him, standing awkwardly in your kitchen with a duffle slung over his shoulder.
Rubbing the sleep from your eyes, you blink a few times to clear your vision. You want to be sure it's him before you open your mouth. He's there, in black sweats with a grey hoodie pulled up over his white baseball cap. “Jimin?”
“Oh good you know him," Yoongi says with relief coating his tone. "I’m gonna get him some blankets. Think you can take your Netflix marathon to your room?”
"Yeah, I can do that," you mumble, gathering up your mess and disappearing into your room without another word.
『•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••✎•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••』
Alone in your room, you conjure up a hundred reasons in your anxious mind that could explain why Jimin thought he had to keep this huge secret from you. He’s got nothing? Maybe he was afraid you'd tell people. Suddenly, it makes so much sense why he's always walking everywhere.
You think back to Tuesday at the Cheery Cherry. His usually steady hands were so shaky handing over those bills he pulled from his wallet. You think of how tightly he clutched his change and even counted it out afterward. If you hadn’t been so preoccupied with your own thoughts of inadequacy, you might have been able to put it together on your own. Your stomach drops when you recall the insulting way you threw your vanilla cone in the trash. The scene replays over and over again until you’re crying into your pillow.
Guilt keeps you awake until well past midnight as you turn these unsavory ideas over and over in your head, looking at them from every possible angle and over analyzing every detail of the time you've spent together thus far. Your eyes are now wide and dry, fixed on a black spot on your ceiling that you're hoping is just a speck and not a spider. The quilt in your hands is frayed, giving your nervous hands something to pick at while you let the silence drive you mad.
The soft knock on your door at half past one is a relief. Yoongi does his best cooking at odd hours, usually bringing you a plate if you're awake. It's a surprise to find Jimin outside your door instead. He awkwardly shifts from foot to foot until he finds your eyes in the dim glow of your table lamp.
"Did I wake you?" he whispers, head leaning against your door frame.
You shake your head, looking down at your skimpy sleep shorts and the university hoodie you pulled on to open the door. “I was up.”
“Can we talk?”
“Of course,” you answer, stepping aside so he can come in. Your eyes scan the room nervously, checking for underwear on the floor and counting the half empty glasses of water on your nightstand. If you knew Jimin was going to be in your bedroom tonight, you would have cleaned up. At least you didn’t leave your vibrator out in the open. You don’t think you’d recover from the embarrassment of that.
Jimin follows you to your bed, perching on the edge once you’ve settled back against your pillows.
“I feel like I owe you an explanation.”
“You don’t,” you respond immediately. “I’m happy you’re here.”
“Then why did you run away?” he asks, pulling at his hoodie strings.
“I wanted to give you space. I didn’t want to make you uncomfortable. You didn’t tell me what you were going through and I didn’t want to…” you trail off, unsure how to articulate just why you ran away.
“You didn’t want to embarrass me? Hurt my pride?” he asks, sarcasm evident.
“I’m sorry,” you tell him. “You don’t owe me an explanation. We aren’t that close.”
“That’s the problem,” he whispers. “I want to explain. I want to be that close to you.” He leans towards you, resting on his hands. He looks confident despite his current situation and it worries you a little. How can he be so sure of himself when he’s crashing on your couch and apologizing to you again for the fourth time in less than a week?
The Jimin you’ve gotten to know recently seems to disappear, leaving on the smooth talking playboy in his wake. He seems too calculated to be genuine. The words he whispers don’t seem like words meant for you. He is him, after all, and money or not he’s still the greatest catch on campus. And you, much to your dismay, are still just you. Unassuming, uninteresting, unexciting you. You’re the plain vanilla cone he’d never ask for if he had the means to get the banana split.
“Why?” you skeptically ask, pulling your knees up to your chest.
Jimin bites his bottom lip, worrying it between his teeth while he thinks. “You’re special,” he says. “You’re cute and funny and I like spending time with you. You make me feel like I can be myself with you.”
“But you don’t trust me?” you ask, obviously referring to the elephant in the room. He didn’t tell you he was essentially homeless. How much of himself can he truly be if he was keeping that from you?
“I didn’t want to scare you away, and most girls I… see, don’t get close enough to find out,” he confesses. “I can’t afford to take anyone out right now. I haven’t been able to for a while. But I’m so close to getting enough for an apartment. That’s why I took the TA job; at the end of the semester I should be ready.”
“Jimin,” you start, unsure what to say. You’re still thinking about that goddamned three dollar ice cream cone you threw away.
“You don’t have to say anything,” he tells you, standing up. “I just wanted to be real with you, and thank you for agreeing to let me have the couch for a few days. I’ll let you sleep.”
“Wait!”
As you scramble over yourself to reach out, you find yourself on your knees awkwardly clutching your hand towards your chest. You’re still worried about seeming desperate but you can’t let that stop you now. Jimin turns toward you, but you’re unsure of what you wanted to say. You only know that you want to be closer to him too, that you’re not ready for him to go, that if he leaves now you’ll lie awake for the rest of the night reliving this short conversation.
“Stay,” you plead, nervously twirling the string of your hoodie around your fingers as you sit back against the pillows. “Talk to me?”
“Aren’t you tired?” he wonders.
You hold out your hand and he crosses the room to take it, standing next to your bed. You pat the space next to you and tug him toward it. “Wide awake.”
Your yawn says otherwise.
Jimin smiles, climbing over you to lay by your side on top of your blankets. He looks at you expectantly once he’s settled but it’s too much pressure for you to lead the conversation. You only know that you want to keep hearing his soothing voice. You have no idea what you wanted to say.
“You look cute,” he says, breaking the silence and touching your nose with the tip of his finger. “Sleepy and soft.”
“You look sexy,” you complain, waving his hand away. “I kinda wanna punch you for it.”
He throws his head back in laughter. “So feisty.”
“I can be boring instead,” you jokingly offer, rolling on your side to face him.
He does his best to keep his eyes trained on your face, despite the fact that all he wants to do is let them wander down. “I just want you to be you.”
That sounds fake. Again, you battle against the idea that this is all a farce, some sneaky way to get into your pants once and leave you wanting for the rest of your life. He hasn’t bared himself to you enough for you to trust him, so you pry.
“Why’d your parents cut you off, Jimin?” you ask.
He looks at you for a second, stunned at your boldness. That’s definitely not where he thought this conversation was going. He takes a moment to prepare his response and sighs.
“They have this restaurant. It’s a small place right off the coast: Jeongsik. My great grandparents started it from nothing and now my parents manage it. They want me to take over since I’m the eldest, but I want to move to the city and have my own life. I don’t want to work in their restaurant forever and my brother loves it and is perfectly capable. They love me. I know they’re just trying to teach me a lesson,” he tells you. He sounds unsure of that last bit. It probably has a lot to do with the fact that he’s got nowhere to live and he’s penny pinching for meals and they’re shunning him.
“And what is that lesson, Jimin?” you ask, trying to dig deeper before he slips back into playboy mode.
“That being a part of Jeongsik is my only option if I want to be successful. That I can’t make it without them.”
“Can you?” The question is quiet and unassuming. You only want to know how bad it really is.
He takes a deep breath and taps his fingers anxiously against the fabric of the pillow. “I can. It won’t be the same, it won’t be easy, but I can.”
After giving Jimin a moment to say more, which he doesn’t take, you push him further. With your heart on the line and this miracle of an opportunity with him in your room, you're determined to learn as much as you can. You need to get under his skin. You need to know him, so you can know if you should run.
"What's your plan then?" you question, shifting closer so you're face to face against the pillows.
Jimin smirks at your line of questioning. It seems to break him from his thoughts. “Well,” he begins. “The Village has some one bedrooms opening up at the end of the semester, and by then I’ll be ready to make a deposit and lease one. After that I’ve got one semester left until I graduate. Then I’ll move to the city and live my life how I want.”
“Won’t you miss your family?”
“They still talk to me. They’re just not paying for school. Or my car. Or my food.” His heavy sigh at the end contradicts the lightness with which he revealed all of this to you.
“I’m sorry, Jimin.” You reach for his hand, familiarity in the way it fits with yours.
“It’s okay. I have good friends, and I have…” he trails off, catching himself and looking away with an awkward huff of a laugh.
“What?” you wonder, heart fluttering at the possibility that he was about to say ‘you.’ “What else do you have?”
Jimin looks up at you, rising up on his elbow. His eyes search your face for any hint of rejection. When he finds only hope, his hand moves to cup your cheek. It’s warm, adorned with rings that contrast the temperature of his skin.
“You,” he breathes, moving closer. You watch his gaze dart down to your lips before your own eyelids flutter closed. “I was going to say you,” he confesses before he closes the space between you and lays a soft kiss against your waiting lips.
He pulls away way too fast, leaving you to panic in the aftermath. You thought you had feelings for him before, but now that he’s let you in, now that he has shown you his heart, there is nothing more to deny. You’ve fallen, hard. The realization makes you feel trapped, like a frantic dying bird in a cage. But your captor is kind and beautiful and the flavor he left on your lips is the most divine thing you’ve ever tasted.
“Then say it,” you prompt him, urging him to accept the affection you’ve been so desperate to give him.
He kisses you again in lieu of words, longer, deeper, until his tongue is dragging over yours. You fist the material of his hoodie in your hands, pulling him towards you while you turn on your back. He’s hesitant to get on top of you, afraid he might be taking it too far, but you’re insistent. You pull and he caves willingly, slotting a leg between yours and letting his hand drift from your cheek to the back of your neck.
“I like you,” he pants when he breaks away. It feels like your heart flies up out of your chest and does a lap around the room, flapping its hummingbird wings like the wild thing it is before it crashes back into its place.
“Don’t say things you don’t mean,” you plead. “You don’t have to pretend just because you’re here now. I’m a big girl. We can just have tonight.”
You say the words but you know if he leaves tomorrow, you’ll cry all day and probably the day after that too. The truth is, you can talk all you want about how you can do this no strings attached, but you know you can’t. Your strings are so attached to him at this point you might as well be metaphorical shibari.
“I mean it,” he whispers, full, wet lips brushing the side of your neck.
You freeze. You were expecting him to drop the charade and just fuck you or something, but in this moment he exudes tenderness and consideration.
“And because I like you, I think I should go back to the couch before we do something we aren’t ready to do.”
“Stay,” you plead. “We don’t have to do anything, just lay with me.”
He slowly nods and reaches over you to turn off the lamp, planting a soft kiss on your cheek as he settles back into place. You wiggle your form down into the covers and he smoothes the hair from your face before tracing his fingers down your arm. You lean in close enough to smell the subtle clean scent of his cologne. Is it cologne? You doubt it knowing what you know now, unless he’s borrowing it from someone else. You still find yourself enjoying it nonetheless. It’s comforting. Sleep begins to claim you just as he slips his fingers into yours and gives you a tiny squeeze.
“Goodnight y/n.”
You think you respond but you’re in that purgatory state between sleeping and being awake, so you can’t be sure. At least you’re eighty percent sure you gave him a squeeze in return.
That’s how Yoongi finds you in the morning: you tucked neatly into your comforter and Jimin laying on top of it beside you, your hands clasped together in the middle.
“UM!” Yoongi shouts from the doorway, loud enough to wake you both.
Startled, you sit up in bed and look around for the source of the shout. “Fuck! Yoon. You didn’t need to scream.”
“I hope you’re not expecting me to keep this from Taehyung,” Yoongi chides, looking from you to Jimin and back. “That would be quite the moral conundrum.”
“For fuck’s sake. It was never Tae. I am not seeing Tae. We are JUST FRIENDS!” You yell the last two words and chuck your pillow at him for emphasis.
“Okay cool, then Jimin can explain to him whatever this is to him. Jimin, he wants you to call him. My phone’s on the table. I’m taking a shower.”
Yoongi disappears from the doorway and an uncomfortable silence settles over the room. In the light of day, you feel nervous and uncertain. Jimin does nothing to ease your anxiety. He just lays there quietly, unsure what to say.
“Do you want breakfast?” You try to smile and sound as chipper as possible.
He sits up finally and turns his back to you. “I should go see Taehyung.”
He moves toward the door and you feel your chest tighten. “Jimin?”
He turns to you from the hallway, and taking in your confused expression, offers you a smile. “We’re good, princess. I’ll be back tonight, then me and you: party time.” He winks before moving out of sight.
Alone once again, you start to question things. Everything. Are you imagining things or did Jimin seem cold when he left? He kissed you last night, didn’t he? Was everything you talked about too much? Does he regret kissing you? Does he regret staying the night with you without getting anything out of it? You can feel your thoughts spiraling out of control, but you can’t stop yourself from putting up the walls you so desperately wanted to keep down forever last night. It obviously didn’t mean anything to him, despite his claim that he likes you. He probably just meant that he’d like to fool around with you. Like he does with everyone else. You can’t let one night beside him make you think you’re special to him, no matter how badly you want to be.
Knowing you won’t make it through the day without driving yourself completely mad with questions and doubts, you dig your old phone and charger out of a drawer and go after Jimin. He’s leaning over the kitchen counter staring down at Yoongi’s phone when you steal his attention.
“Please take this,” you plead, thrusting the phone and charger towards him.
He looks from the device to you and blinks a few times in surprise. “What?”
“It’s a little old, but if your sim card didn’t get damaged I’m sure it will work in this. I kept putting off bringing it to be recycled.” You laugh nervously as you try to place it in his hand. “But now I’m glad I didn’t. Take it.”
“I can’t accept this, princess. It’s too much,” Jimin says, staring down at the object in your hands.
“Take it for me. If I have to go another day without being able to send you memes I’ll die.”
“Memes?” he repeats, sounding baffled.
“Memes, nudes, the weather forecast. Who cares? I wanna text you. Please take it.”
He licks his lips and smirks at your joke. Was it a joke? It’s hard to tell. He accepts it anyway. “Thank you. I’ll call you later?”
“You’d better,” you tease, offering the grandest smile you can manage before retreating with a slow saunter back to your room.
There’s that view again. He could watch your ass sway in those teeny shorts all day. It takes every last ounce of self control he possesses to pick up Yoongi’s phone and dial Tae rather than sprint back into your room and pin you to the bed. It doesn’t stop him from daydreaming about it though, even as his friend answers.
『•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••✎•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••』
“What are we doing?” Jimin stands in the sprawling living room of Taehyung and Jungkook’s shared apartment. Both are from wealthy families that are all too ready to give their sons everything that matches the silver spoons in their mouths. They’ve been blessed with a bachelor pad that looks more like a college movie set than anything normal one would find around campus.
“Pick up a controller,” Tae tells Jimin, completely absorbed in the race on their oversized flat screen TV.
Jungkook hasn’t even acknowledged Jimin’s presence yet. Focused doesn’t even begin to describe the way his eyes bore into the television. He doesn’t break from his trance until he wins. Only then does he sit back with a smug grin, dropping the controller in his lap and just barely resisting the urge to gloat.
Taehyung drops his controller too, turning to give Jungkook a congratulatory fist bump. “Take his place,” he says to Jimin.
Jungkook has already vacated his place on the hallowed futon and moved to the row of cup noodles sitting on the counter. The first cup is half empty before Jimin even sits down.
“I suck at these games, Tae,” Jimin grumbles.
“That’s okay. You don’t have to be good. It’s a ploy to get you relaxed enough to talk about y/n.” Taehyung smiles, knowing Jimin can’t refuse now that he’s cornered.
“What about her?” He feigns nonchalance, as if he didn’t just spend last night catching feelings along with your lips between his own.
Taehyung scoffs, half bewildered, half disgusted. “Come on, Jimin. She’s amazing. You like her.”
“I barely know her,” Jimin replies. It’s a lie he can taste like copper on his tongue. He knows your favorite food, where you grew up, what you study, and he’s already programmed your birthday into his borrowed phone so he won’t forget.
Taehyung clicks his tongue and rolls his eyes. “Okay then. If you don’t give a fuck, I’m gonna shoot my shot. She’s funny, and nice, and her pussy is so bomb it makes me wanna get married, so if you’re not gonna do something about that then I will.”
Jungkook cackles from the kitchen. “Did you fuck Jimin’s girl?”
“She’s not my girl,” Jimin grumbles, staring daggers at Jungkook, just as Taehyung says that he did not.
Jungkook takes his armload of cup noodles into his bedroom.
“I know you like her,” Tae prods. “She’s not some materialistic bitch who’s gonna leave you if you can’t afford lavish dates every other day. She’s a good, genuine person. She just wants your time and your attention. Maybe your heart. She doesn’t care about the other stuff.”
“Yeah? So I can bring her back to this futon after I buy her dinner from the dollar menu?” Jimin’s nose starts to tingle, months worth of frustrations finally reaching a breaking point. “I can’t get in a relationship right now and you know she’s not a fuckbuddy kind of girl.
“Right, because I didn’t eat her out in my car for fun last week.” He’d date you in a heartbeat if you wanted him. But he knows it’s Jimin you want and he’s more than happy to push the two of you together to see you both happy. He values friendship above all things.
“If that’s all you want from her, fine. But I think you and I both know it’s not and she’s too good for you to string along. If you’re just gonna break her heart, do it now before she falls any harder for you.”
“Why, so you can swoop in and be the good guy again? So you can get her off in your backseat?” The words are venom dripping from his mouth.
“Bro.”
Jimin softens. Tae is his dearest friend. He knows he only has his best interests at heart.
“I’m sorry.” He pauses and sighs. “We talked about Jeongsik last night. She knows my parents cut me off.”
Taehyung grimaces. “How’d that go?”
“Now she knows I’m not good enough but it didn’t seem to deter her at all.”
“‘Cause you are good enough and now she can see your true worth as a person, which is a thousand times better than the fake worth of money.”
Jimin seems to consider this for a moment but then expresses the concern gnawing at his insides. “What if she really is just another person who wants to idolize me? I’m really into her, but I need it to be more than that.”
“Jimin—”
“What if she’s after the meaningless title of being Park Jimin’s girl... like every other girl that has pursued me lately?” The words make him cringe. He’s humble and kind, not one to throw bouquets at himself, but those thoughts are intrusive and hard to ignore.
“Tch. Do you know her at all? Do you really think that matters to her?”
“No,” Jimin sighs. “But what if?”
“She admires you. You like her. Stop making it so complicated and let go of those ifs. You’ll never know if you don’t try and I want to see you try because you deserve to be happy,” Tae insists, starting a new game. “Now pick up that controller. I wanna kick your ass.”
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You’ve spent the better part of your Saturday afternoon picking out your outfit for tonight. Yoongi only teased you twice before helping you select something a little bit more slutty than you’d normally pull out for a date. You’re going to a party after all, not some Sunday brunch with your friends.
When it’s almost time for you to meet up with Jimin you find yourself growing increasingly nervous. You run your hand over your thigh and down your calf, testing for any stubble you might have missed in your meticulous hour-long shaving session. On your way back up you tug on your skirt, eyeing it as though your gaze can simply increase its length. When was the last time you wore this dress?
You adjust and fuss over the way your tits fit inside the garment and puff air out of your cheeks. Yoongi squints at you from across the room. Your door is wide open after all.
“Stop worrying so much.” He sighs and clicks his tongue, crossing the room until he can see you in perfect clarity. “You look great.”
“I feel stupid. I should change. Jimin’s gonna think I’m weird if I wear this.” You try to turn and run back to your closet.
Yoongi plants his hands on your shoulders and spins you back to face the full-length mirror hanging over your door. “Look at yourself. Jimin’s gonna think you’re the hottest one at the party. Look at that makeup game.” He gestures to your face. “Wooo! So strong! Wow!”
Your lips twitch into a smile. Yoongi can be so sweet when he’s not busy pretending like he isn’t the softest man on earth.
“What if he doesn’t actually want me?” you ask, strings of doubt still plucking at your insecurity.
“He does,” he says with all the comfort you need in this moment. “I can tell with these kinds of things, you know.”
“That your like, weird sage sense you’re always telling me about? Reading the horoscopes doesn’t make you a fortune teller.”
He laughs. “Don’t be jealous of my power. Have I been wrong before?”
He hasn’t been, at least not with the advice he’s given you.
You exhale a huge breath and cock your head to inspect your appearance one more time. “What if you’re wrong?”
He hums a soft sound before planting a soft kiss to the top of your head. “Then he’s an idiot.”
A knock saves him from the overbearing hug you’re about to give him. He practically sprints towards the door. “That must be him! Pull your skirt up a little, would you? You’re not a nun and it’s gonna ride up anyway.” He pauses with his hand on the deadbolt and drops his tone to a rather loud, strained whisper. “Wait. What underwear are you wearing?”
Your eyes widen and your brows furrow as you angrily march over to your strappy heels and begin to put them on. “Why does it matter?” you whisper back.
“Are they the beige ones?”
“No!” Your hushed tone threatens to break into a shriek. “You know those are my period panties.”
“Please tell me they’re not the green ones.”
“Yoongi!” You get frustrated and lift your skirt just enough to show off a bit of the black lace adorning your buttcheeks as you lift your foot onto the nearby stool to finish setting the strap in place. “Satisfied?”
He breathes a sigh of relief and nods. “Good. Those are good.”
He opens the door faster than you can register the action. Jimin catches the flash of lace and more skin than he’s meant to see as you swing your leg down off the stool and adjust your dress. Heat flushes your face as you meet Jimin’s gaze. His eyes are wide and he licks his lips before nervously clearing his throat. He nonchalantly drops his hands and holds them together in front of his pelvis.
“You-You look good,” he stammers, completely stunned by your appearance.
“Thanks,” you reply with a shy smile. Park Jimin gets flustered? Who’d have thought?
He thought you were beautiful before but he’s never seen you like this. You’re completely decked out and drop dead gorgeous. He’s almost worried he’ll feel inadequate standing next to you tonight but it doesn’t stop him from wanting you by his side, hanging on his arm. He wants everyone to know that he’s there with you.
The pair of you stand there looking at one another and Yoongi slowly turns from Jimin to you, then back to Jimin.
“Have everything?” Yoongi prods, trying to get you to move so he can get on with his evening of relaxation and lazing about.
That seems to break you from your stupor and you nod and walk forward to hook your arm around Jimin’s. Before you get too far Yoongi calls to you and tests your reflexes by tossing your keys. You’ll need those if Yoongi is dead to the world asleep by the time you get home, which is quite possible. You’re not the most dextrous person but Jimin catches them and smiles at you. When you try to take them from his fingertip he moves his hand away and you swipe at the air. He offers to keep them in his pocket and you gratefully oblige. You pull your phone from its confines against your breast and check on the status of your uber with one hand while slipping your other into Jimin’s.
『•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••✎•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••』
Jin’s party is already in full swing by the time you arrive. It looks like something out of a movie. There are glowsticks, red solo cups, a buffet table of snacks, and loud music by the large inground pool. People inside and outside of this big ass frat house are grinding up on each other, dancing, and spilling their drinks on one another. It’s a little overwhelming honestly. You’ve never been much of a party person and this is a monster-sized one.
Jimin takes your hand in his and gives you a reassuring smile. “You want a drink, princess?”
“Yeah.” You grin and breathe a sigh of relief, feeling your insides melt at the sound of his voice. You know whatever happens tonight you’ll be okay with him by your side.
Jimin keeps you close all night, drinking and dancing and stealing the occasional quick kiss. It's pretty clear to everyone who's paying attention that there's something going on between you. You came with Jimin, you're there with Jimin, you're leaving with Jimin. Either Jungkook wasn't paying attention, or he just plain doesn't care. The moment Jimin leaves you alone to run to the bathroom, Jungkook steps up behind you in the chair you’re sitting on.
"Hey, y/n!" He smiles, all teeth and sleepy eyes. You can smell the whiskey on his breath when you turn to face him. "You look so pretty tonight."
"Thanks, Kook." You know he's one of Jimin and Tae’s closest friends. If you just hang with him until Jimin gets back, you'll be able to avoid the advances of all the weird guys here you aren't familiar with. "I like your boots," you tell him, looking down.
He follows your gaze to his feet. "Me too, I hope no one barfs on them tonight," he laughs, lifting his face back up to yours. The words are slightly slurred but you’re still able to decipher them.
His eyes definitely linger on your cleavage on their way back up. By the looks of it, he's on the short list of people who might end up barfing on those shoes. He holds his liquor well, but if you had to guess you'd say he's had more than he should have at this point in the night.
"So, I was talking to Taehyung recently," he starts with a mischievous glint in his eyes. The rest of his sentence seems to get lost in translation on the way to his mouth.
"And?" You smile at him and realize he’s probably too drunk to have anything of worth to say but you wait anyway.
"He told me something." Jungkook smiles so big his nose crinkles and he giggles like it’s the biggest secret in the universe.
You puzzle for a moment over what could have him so giddy before remembering that Taehyung is intimately familiar with your o-face. You'd gotten so close with him over the last two weeks that the details of your first time hanging out had completely slipped your mind. Jungkook is definitely about to say something crass.
"What did he tell you?" you ask, fearing you already know the answer.
Jungkook leans in closer so he can whisper in your ear. An amused giggle spills from his lips like he can’t contain the punchline to a joke only he knows. Somehow he gets his tone under control and finally speaks. "He told me your pussy tastes like heaven and what a coincidence," he pauses, "I haven't had dessert."
Jimin finds his way back to you just as you've moved to elbow Jungkook off your chair. Unfortunately, the alcohol in your system has your brain a little fuzzy and you misjudge the distance and location. You end up elbowing Jungkook right in the dick. Hard.
A circle clears around you as Jungkook doubles over in pain. Jimin steps up next to you, looking down at his friend and trying to piece together what might have led to you inflicting bodily harm.
Jungkook goes from bending over, to squatting, to laying on his side on the floor. He rolls onto his back still clutching the jewels despite the audience of people who have stopped to observe.
“I’m gonna throw up,” he squeaks out.
“Watch the boots,” you remind him as Jimin leans down to help him up and leads him towards something he can barf in. Through the crowd of people, you can see him just barely make it to a trash can in the kitchen. Gross.
Jimin gives Jungkook a pat on the back as he retches and reaches over him to grab a handful of jello shots off the counter. He returns with the rainbow of little cups clutched in each hand. The crowd seems to go back to their business of dancing and talking amongst one another, the random altercation just a fleeting moment in the night.
"What'd he do?" Jimin asks, holding his hand out to you so that you can make your selection.
"He came on to me." You shrug, picking a blue cup and popping the lid off.
"That's it? You elbowed him in the balls for hitting on you?" Jimin raises his eyebrows in shock and laughs.
"Well, it was kind of an accident. But," you pause to bring the plastic shot glass up to your lips, "he insinuated that he wanted to go down on me." You dip your tongue into the Jello and swirl it around the perimeter of its plastic casing.
Jimin watches you gather all the Jello up onto your tongue with rapt attention. He's growing so hard watching your tongue work like that. It’s driving him insane. He wants to feel it on him instead. He’s also now acutely aware of how badly he wants to swirl his tongue around your cunt, just like that.
"That makes two of us," he confesses with an enamored sigh. His hands are still full of Jello shots but that doesn’t stop him from holding your face between them.
He fiercely smashes his mouth to yours and you cave to the welcome intrusion of his tongue. It presses against yours, curling around it as he sucks the blue raspberry flavor from your mouth. You drop the empty cup to the floor and reach for his belt instead, pulling him against you until you can feel him pressed up against your stomach, hard and needy. He grinds his pelvis against you to be sure you can feel him.
“You feel that baby?” he asks, his tone low and sultry.
You grind back with a muffled hum. Before you can talk yourself out of it, you’re practically dry-humping each other next to the crowd of other sweaty, writhing couples. While Jimin likes how this feels, he’d like to regain the use of his hands. Jello shots be damned.
He pulls away for a second and looks around, depositing all but one of the unopened cups into the hands of the next person that walks by before he squeezes the chosen red one out on his tongue. He leans back in and presses his mouth to yours again. You can still taste artificial strawberry on his tongue. You're not even sure he swallowed before you started trying to lick his tonsils but you don't care. You want him now. You need him.
His thoughts are much the same as his free hand wanders down your back, dipping lower for just a second to feel the curve of your ass and squeeze. When you gasp he takes a step back and looks at you through hazy lust-drunk eyes. His lips are red from the gelatinous treat. You’d love to try and suck the color right out of them.
"Princess," he pants, his hands grabbing at your hips.
"Jimin," you breathe back, pulling him closer again. "Come home with me." It's not really an invitation. He'd be coming back with you anyway since he's currently living on your couch, but this has a different meaning and you both know it. It’s a plea for him to take you to bed.
You make out on the front lawn while you wait for the uber. You make out in the back of the uber on your way home. You make out on the way up the stairs and you leave a heart shaped love bite on his neck while he uses your keys to open the door. You make out pressed against the kitchen counter, and in the hallway.
Yoongi watches the pair of you act like he’s invisible as you stumble your way around the apartment. He has a spoonful of Fruit Loops half-lifted to his gaping mouth and finally takes his bite when you’ve made it to your room. Thank god you closed the door.
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Jimin isn't as shy this time about laying his weight over you once you’ve dropped down onto your bed. You’re warm and he seeks the heat of your body as your hands explore the taught muscles of his chest. They dance around his belt, slipping up over the curve of his perfectly round ass so you can squeeze and pull him against you, inviting him to grind his solid cock into you. Your movements get slower and more focused when you unbutton his shirt. He tugs it off his shoulders and throws it to the floor before helping you pull that tiny excuse of a dress over your head.
You're thanking your lucky stars you had the foresight to put on a matching set, despite how foolishly hopeful it felt at the time. The way Jimin is drinking you in wrapped in nothing but a little bit of black lace is making your head spin, or maybe that's the alcohol.
He sits back on his heels beside you, trailing his fingertips from your throat to the valley between your breasts. He skims over your belly button then side sweeps over your hip and down your thigh, leaving goosebumps in the wake of his touch.
"Wanna take those heels off, princess?" he asks, scooting toward them on his knees.
"I can do it," you insist, planning on making a show of dropping what's left of your modesty. You aren't counting on the way the room turns when you stand up too fast. Luckily, Jimin's reflexes are quick and his hands on your hips steady you before you can actually fall. Standing up is also doing something terrible to your stomach. It rolls and clenches and your anxiety skyrockets.
Parties aren't really your thing, and while Jimin might be drunk he is damn good at controlling it. On the contrary, it's becoming increasingly apparent that you are completely hammered.
"You okay?" Jimin asks, concern dripping from his tone. He stands up and turns you both so you can sit on the edge of your bed.
"I think... I'm drunk," you confess, unable to explain why you suddenly feel like crying.
"I think you're right, baby," he agrees, squatting down to unbuckle the ankle straps on your heels. "Let's get you some water."
Your stomach flips again and time slows as you feel the contents of the evening rise in the back of your throat. Panicking, you look to Jimin with wide eyes and a hand flying up to your mouth. He spins around looking for anything to catch what's surely coming and upends your little trash can. Candy wrappers and old class notes fall to the floor. He thrusts the can under your face just as a rainbow of Jello shots and reappears.
"I'm so sorry," you cry between heaves, tears streaking your make-up down your face.
"Shhh," Jimin soothes, gathering your hair away from your face. When he's sure you've finished, he disappears from the bedroom with the offending trash can and you're left with your horrible, alcohol twisted thoughts.
He's going to think you're pathetic and disgusting. Why on earth did you think you could drink that much?
Jimin returns with a glass of water before you can get much further into your self-deprecation.
"You're never gonna fuck me now," you blabber, your filter lost. Your thoughts are a jumble of sadness and muddled lust.
Jimin laughs. "Well, I'm definitely not gonna fuck you like this. I didn't realize you were this drunk," he softly says. It's a caring statement, not even a little bit condescending.
You should be grateful that he wants you sober for sex, but it only makes you cry harder because you really just want him so badly and you're absolutely certain you've ruined your chances beyond repair. So, you do the only thing that makes sense right now and cry harder.
Jimin wraps his arms around you and leans close to your ear. "I want to, you know. I want to lay you down and touch you all over." He presses a soft kiss to the side of your neck. "I want to taste you, feel you. I want to be inside you so badly, but not like this."
"Please," you whine.
"Sober up first, okay?" he coaxes. "Can I help you get some pajamas? Brush your teeth?"
"Okay," you sniffle.
Jimin smooths his hand up your back, tracing the black lace band of your bra with the tip of his finger. “Do you want to take this off?”
You nod, reaching behind you to unfasten the clasp while Jimin reaches down to the floor for the button down shirt he discarded. He averts his eyes while you shed your bra, then holds his shirt open for you. You slip into it but don’t bother to button it up before walking to your door. He helps you get to the bathroom but you insist on doing it yourself so you can clean up and assess just how fucked up you really look right now.
When you close the door behind you, he makes sure to quietly apologize to Yoongi, who is still scrubbing the trash bin Jimin brought out earlier. Yoongi reaches into the cabinet for the bottle of Advil and gestures to a glass of water already on the counter.
Jimin waits for you to open the door and when you finally do he's relieved that you haven't fallen asleep. You've washed the makeup from your tear-streaked face and brushed your teeth. You've even pulled your hair back so it's no longer in the way. You look at him through a hazy apologetic lens as he offers you Advil and water. The last thing you want to do is ingest anything but if it will help you in the morning, you'll try it for his sake.
The journey from the bathroom back into your room is a blur. All you can think about is crawling back into bed and sleeping this awful feeling away. You struggle with the covers for a moment until Jimin helps you slide underneath them.
"I'm sorry. Don't hate me," you plead in a weak voice.
"Why are you sorry? I don't hate you," he assures you, sitting on the edge of the bed.
He's shirtless. He could have been naked pounding your pussy stupid if you didn't overdo it on the drinks. You hate yourself a little bit for botching this chance, but if he could just put his arms around you again maybe you’d feel okay, like you didn’t blow it.
"Will you hold me?" you ask.
“Of course,” he replies softly.
The light in the room disappears and the mattress sinks behind you. His arms wrap themselves around your waist and his fingers twine with yours.
“I’ve got you,” he whispers when you squeeze his hand.
The heat of his breath brushes against your neck but you don’t close your eyes. You’re too dizzy. Instead you focus on the soothing rhythm of his breathing until the weight of your eyelids wins out against the nausea and sleep finally claims you.
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Your ringtone wakes you late, when the sun in your room is far too bright to be any time before ten. The sound is grating and irritating and you pull your pillow over your head to block it out. Jimin reaches for the phone, you can feel his weight shift and the heat of his skin when he hovers over you.
"Hello?" His voice is gruff and coarse with sleep.
Peeking out from beneath the pillow, you look over to him. His eyes are still closed and your phone is laying on his bare chest, speaker on and screen lit up.
"Gimme your bae," Jungkook's voice calls through the phone.
"She's sleeping," Jimin tells him. Looking in your direction, he meets your eyes and smiles.
You vaguely remember him making you drink more water last night, giving you Advil, and tucking you in. It's a very pleasant surprise to find that you aren’t horribly hungover.
"Wake her up," Jungkook whines. "Bro. She hit me so hard."
Jimin laughs. "You deserved it."
"I know," Jungkook agrees. "That's why I'm calling. Can I talk to her please?"
"You're on speaker."
"Hi, y/n. I got your number from Tae."
"Hi Kook," you croak.
"I'm sorry I was a douche last night. I get stupid when I drink whiskey."
"I accept your apology. Don’t do it again. How's your dick?" you ask, scooting closer to Jimin and laying your cheek on his chest. He wraps his arm around you and kisses the top of your head. The gesture makes you feel warm all over. He likes you.
"It hurts but I'll live. Sorry. For real. Do you guys wanna go eat later?" he asks you both.
Jimin answers this time. "Maybe. We have stuff to do first. I'll text you." He hangs up before Jungkook can say more.
“What stuff are we doing, hmm?” you question with a giggle, trying to play coy.
“Depends how you’re feeling, princess,” Jimin replies, leaning over you again to deposit your phone on your nightstand. He lingers above you, prompting the cautious exploration of your fingers on his chest.
Suddenly, you are acutely aware of the awful taste in your mouth. In fact, you feel gross all over. Not exactly the way you want to experience sex with Jimin for the first time.
“I’m sorry about last night,” you tell him, wiggling out from under his body. “You must think I am the worst, most unattractive human.”
“No,” Jimin says with a giggle. “I think you’re sexy and sweet. I really like you y/n.”
“Nobody likes me.” You scoff at him in disbelief.
“It’s rude to call people nobodies, don’t you think? Especially when they’ve just confessed their feelings,” Jimin teases, sitting up beside you.
“Well, let me at least brush my teeth,” you tell him, holding his shirt closed around you while you rise from the bed. You step around the clean trash can that’s been placed at the side of your bed thanks to Yoongi, noting that there is also a neat row of condoms on your nightstand and a note that reads ‘be done by 5 i wanna watch Dragonball Z after work.’
You laugh and quickly take care of your morning bathroom routine in record time so you can make use of Yoongi’s gift.
When you come back to your room, Jimin is watching you. His lips are drawn down in a pout, his eyes are half closed, and his chest, still bare, rises and falls heavily with each breath he takes as he rakes his eyes over your bare legs and up. His shirt hangs open on your body, leaving a strip of skin visible from your throat to your panties. He licks his lips when your fingers drag a slow line up that strip.
Parting the soft fabric further, you let it fall from your shoulders and pool around your feet. Jimin sits up for a better view and you wait for embarrassment to strike. It never happens. Instead, his gaze emboldens you. He looks wrecked already and he hasn't even touched you yet.
“So beautiful,” he whispers.
His assurance pulls you forward, one foot in front of the other until you’re close enough to touch and his hands are on your hips as you climb over him. He leans back under you as you push forward, connecting your lips with a force that borders on overeager. You can feel him smile against your lips and self-consciously, you will yourself to calm down. You have all day, there’s no need to rush.
When your kisses become soft and patient Jimin decides to take the initiative. He has to have you. He wants to be inside you. He sits up and sinks his hands into the flesh of your ass and begins to pull you down so he can grind up against your clothed cunt. When you moan his eyes roll back for a second and he buries his face into your neck to muffle the sound of his own. His tongue works in circles against you, giving you a taste of what’s to come before sucking a spot that has you burying your hand in his hair and grinding yourself down on him with need. He licks a hot stripe to your ear so he can whisper in it. In an instant he’s flipping you around on your back and grinding his pelvis against yours, allowing the dark desire to consume him.
“You like that, princess? You like feeling my cock on that sweet pussy of yours?”
“Yeah,” you whine, circling your legs around his hips. You can’t manage much more than that breathy reply, he is intoxicating and already you are drunk on his fumes.
“I hear it’s the sweetest. Made me so fucking jealous to hear Tae talk about you like that. You’ll let me have a taste, won’t you? Let me show you how good I can make you feel?”
“God did Tae just go around telling everyone?” you pause when the friction rubs against your clit just right. “Oh fuck,” you moan, imaging the pillowy soft press of his lips on your more intimate areas.
He chuckles in response. “No,” he assures you. “Just Jungkook and me. Don’t worry,” he says, persuading you with a careful roll of his hips that has his shaft parting your folds despite the layers of clothing between you. “He won’t talk about it anymore, and you’ll forget all about it by the time we’re done here. I’m gonna eat your sweet little cunt until mine are the only lips you remember.”
“Please,” you whimper, drawing him into a needy kiss.
His fingers dip into the band of your panties and he teases and tugs at them until you’re squirming and begging him to take them off. His lips trail wet kisses down to your breasts and he pauses to take your nipple into his mouth as he carefully works your last remaining piece of clothing down your legs.
Nudging your legs apart again, he settles between them, ghosting the pads of his fingers up the inside of your thigh as he drags your nipple gently with his teeth. He switches to repeat the action on the other side and cautiously slips a finger between your folds, parting them and testing your wetness. Much to his delight, he already finds you soaked.
“Jimin,” you breathe out. “Please.”
“Be patient for me, princess. I promise I’ll make it worth your while.” He sits back on his knees between your thighs and uses his thumbs to smear your arousal over your lips. He groans something deep and tortured when he spreads them open.
“Y/n, holy fuck,” he whispers. “You’re perfect. So perfect.”
Heat rises to your cheeks at his praise. It feels like some kind of worship the way he looks down at your cunt, watching his fingers disappear inside you. His satisfied hum is like a hymn to the divine way your hot, slick walls squeeze him, a prayer to the mere idea of having that wet heat wrapped around his needy cock.
“Tae didn’t tell me you were so tight,” Jimin admits, looking up at you under his eyelashes.
“He only used his mouth,” you tell him, throwing your arm over your eyes. “I’ll never forget his lips if you keep talking about him.”
That seems to spark a fire in Jimin. His eyes grow dark and wild. He wants to ruin you. He presses his lips to the inside of your thigh and begins sucking marks into the soft flesh while his fingers continue to pump inside of you. He slowly works his way down, making sure the red spots he leaves behind are sufficient enough to last for days. He makes sure you’ll have the reminder of his face between your legs every time you look down.
“Jimin don’t tease,” you beg, bucking your hips up to seek the warmth of his breath.
“I’m not teasing,” he chides. “I am savoring.” He curls his fingers and presses his thumb to your clit, making your legs jolt. “Trust the process.”
“Jimin--,” you start again, but you’re cut off by the first touch of his lips. It’s barely there, just the ghost of a kiss on your mound. It’s immediately followed by the flat of his tongue, pressing down as he moves it lower, slipping his fingers out as he descends. His tongue parts your folds instead, circling your dripping hole and then dipping inside it.
“Mmmmm,” he hums. “Fuck, you’re sweet.” He spreads you with his thumbs again and goes back for more, lapping at your wet cunt, swirling around your clit, sucking your folds into his lips. But it’s not just the action, it’s the drive behind it. He’s insatiable, moaning at the taste, bucking his hips into the mattress when you whine for him.
Your fingers tangle through his silver hair, twisting and pulling as he devotes himself to your undoing. He moves with you when you grind up against his jaw, stealing a glance up at your face. Jimin feels his cock twitch at the sight of you; breasts heaving, mouth hanging open, eyes squeezed shut. He’s leaking so much precum he can feel it soaking through his boxer-briefs. He’s almost afraid he’s going to lose it and cum in his pants.
“You gonna cum for me, princess?” he asks, lifting his face to push his fingers back inside. He pumps them hard, curling and searching for that elusive spot while he presses soft kisses to your clit. He alternates between flicking his tongue and rubbing against it with his lips, pausing every few seconds to whisper encouragements with warm breath puffed over your swollen bud.
“Come on, baby. Do it for me. Cum for me, princess. Let me taste it.”
“Please Jimin. Pleeeeease. I need you to suck it. Suck it harder,” you beg. “Right there. There! Don’t stop! Please! I’m so close.”
Jimin keeps steady for you despite your trembling thighs. He pounds your g-spot while he sucks as hard as you can take. Your mind goes totally blank, consumed by an orgasm so powerful you can see fireworks bursting behind your eyelids. Heat spreads from your core down your legs, up your spine.
“I’m cu— cumming— Jimiiiiin!” you cry, legs trapping his head like a vice. Your fingers leave his hair in favor of squeezing at your breasts as you ride out your orgasm. You buck your hips when he doesn’t let up after you’ve come down from your high.
“Take your pants off,” you pant, shoving at his head.
He finally pops off with a grin, his chin and lips covered in your slick.
“What if I’m not finished down here?” he teases, dipping his head back down to lick a stripe up your slit. Your whole body jumps when he touches your clit with the tip of his tongue. “Oh?” he feigns shock. “Sensitive?” he smugly asks, going back for one more taste.
“I wanna suck your cock,” you tell him, lazily pulling your legs up and turning your body away from him. You keep your eyes on him as you turn just enough to hang your head off the edge of the bed.
“Are you for real right now?” he asks, standing slowly. The tent in his pants is obscene.
“Please, Jimin. Just a little bit?”
“You’re gonna fucking kill me,” he sighs, tugging the zipper down on his jeans and letting them and his underwear fall to his ankles. He kicks them off and steps in front of you, smiling down at your upside down face, a little dumbfounded to have you wanting and willing to have him like this.
Your mouth waters at the sight of the swollen mauve tip standing at attention. He’s rock hard and so thick you’re not sure you can take him in your mouth, or your cunt for that matter. You’re glad he warmed you up with his fingers because you’re already clenching tight at the thought of that thick cock splitting you in two.
He reaches for the row of condoms as you take him in your hand and give him a few pumps. Just as he rips off one of the packets, you guide him towards the entrance of your mouth. You swirl your tongue against the tip and he drops everything, focusing on the way you tease him instead.
He inhales sharply. “Fuck. Who’s the tease now?”
You run your tongue along his shaft and smile when you get to the tip, giving it a quick kiss. “I’m savoring. What happened to trusting the process?”
He drags his lip through his teeth and clenches his jaw as you put his patience to the test but lucky for him you’re kind. He doesn’t have to wait long. You close your lips around him a moment later, reaching around his hips to guide him deeper, controlling the depth of his thrusts until he learns your limits and leans over you. With his hands on your breasts he rolls his hips. He can feel the tip of his cock bumping the back of your throat. He moans when you gag around him.
“That’s it, princess. Suck it. Just like that,” he praises.
Jimin is careful with his pace, and tender with his touch when he twists your nipples. He thinks he’s in control. He thinks he can take this just fine, despite the fact that your mouth feels fucking incredible. It’s when he watches you part your thighs and slip your hand between them to finger yourself while he fucks your mouth that he realizes he’s got none of the control he was so certain of. His balls tighten and he pulls out quickly and squeezes them, pinching at the tip of his cock and leaving you gasping for the breath you couldn’t catch with him in your mouth.
“Fuck, fuck, fuck. I need a second,” he huffs, eyes closed, standing perfectly still. He breathes slowly and deeply. If you could peek into his brain you’re sure you’d see any number of boring things trying to distract him from the image of you fucking yourself with your fingers while you sucked his cock. It’s futile. He’s certain he’ll see it in his dreams.
“Did I do something wrong?” you wonder, shuffling around so that you’re laying back on your pillows.
Jimin ignores your question. He knows you’re well aware he almost came in your mouth. “I need to be inside you like, now,” he says, picking up the condom again.
You watch him tear it open and roll it on with his one knee pressed into the mattress and his other foot on the floor.
"Come on then," you coax, opening your legs for him to crawl between.
He pushes two fingers inside you on his way up, dragging them out slowly and smearing your wetness around your pussy before he lines his cock up and sinks in to the hilt in one smooth press.
You gasp as he fills you, feeling the stretch of his girth, and he hushes your whimpering and brushes his nose against yours. "I'm sorry baby," he soothes. "I'll go slow." He seals the promise with a kiss before hiking your legs up high around his waist and wrapping his arms around you.
He lies still like this, waiting for the green light while he kisses you breathless. He moves to your neck when you break away to inhale, sucking more little bruises in the skin there. "Tell me when."
"Move," you moan. "Move. Fuck me."
Jimin pulls out slowly, leaving just the tip inside. He pushes back in just as slow, repeating the action several times until it looks like you're about to cry.
You need it so badly. It feels cruel to have him rocking so gently inside you when all you want is to be ruined by him. "Harder," you plead.
"Are you sure?"
"Don't make me beg," you whine.
"What if I want you to beg?" he jokes, dropping his hips against you. It's almost hard enough to satisfy you.
"Then I'll beg."
Jimin groans, dropping his head to your shoulder as he sets a brutal pace. He pounds into you, forcing the air from your lungs with his powerful thrusts, rolling his hips like his life depends on it. "You're so fucking good for me, princess. So tight. Feels so fucking good."
"Go faster," you tell him, grabbing a handful of his ass.
Shifting higher on his knees, he picks up the pace. Sweat beads on his forehead and over his lip. It beads in the dip of his cupid's bow and you lick it away before raking his bottom lip through your teeth.
“You feel my fat cock baby?" he asks. You moan in response pulling your legs higher so he can fuck you even deeper. "You like the way I fill you, don't you? Want me to fuck you full of my cum? Take it," he grunts. "You take it so fucking well. You gonna cum for me again, baby?”
“Yes, yes, yes,” you chant, rocking your hips to meet his thrusts.
Jimin pulls out when you start to clench, not quite edging you but stealing the pleasure you were high on nonetheless. You whine at the loss of him, walls fluttering wildly around nothing.
"Can we try something?" he asks, lifting your legs and putting them to the side.
"What did you have in mind?" you wonder. You reach for his cock but he's already moving, nudging at your hips until you turn.
"Up on your knees for me, princess," he instructs. He kneels behind you once you're in position and smooths his hand up your spine, guiding you gently down onto your elbows. “Is this okay?”
“It’s good,” you assure him, wiggling your hips a little to get him moving again.
He teases your slit with the tip of his cock, dragging it through your folds and rubbing it against your clit. Finally, he pushes back inside you, coaxing a fresh wave of arousal with the stretch of his girth. It’s deeper like this and impossibly you feel even more full than you did before.
“Oh, Jimin,” you sigh, dropping your face into your folded arms. “Jimin.”
“Good?” He folds himself over you, pressing his chest to your back and sliding his hands from your hips to your breasts.
You thrust yourself back into him as you answer. “Perfect. You?”
It takes him by surprise but he follows your lead. He drives himself into your cunt while massaging your breasts and kissing your back. “Fuck, y/n…” he moans, letting his teeth drag over your shoulder before he bites down.
You hiss at the sting and he soothes it with his tongue and puckered lips.
“You’re so fucking gorgeous taking my cock like this. Feel how deep I am. You’re squeezing me so tight, baby.”
“Jimin? Jimin, I need—,” you gasp out between thrusts.
“What, princess? What do you need?” he questions, releasing a breast to play with your clit instead. “Want me to pull your hair? Want me to fill you with my cum?”
“I wanna ride you.”
“Oh, fuck.” Jimin pulls back immediately.
He lays down beside you and grabs at your waist, guiding you over his cock and holding on tight as you drop your weight and take him completely. Swiveling your hips, you set a pace slow and steady. Jimin’s thumbs rubs soft circles into your skin as you move.
“Go faster,” he urges, unable to keep his hips from rising to meet yours.
You shake your head ‘no’ and continue with your slow rolling pace.
“Please, y/n. Ride it like you wanna cum with me.”
Smirking devilishly, you slow down even more and lean over him with your hands on either side of his head.
He looks down, watching your breasts sway and the way his cock disappears over and over.
“Fuck, y/n. PLEASE,” he whines, roughly grabbing your hips and pounding up into you.
Your startled laugh quickly turns into desperate cries of his name. His cock hits your g-spot directly. It feels so good you don’t even think you need him to touch your clit to make you cum. But he does. He pinches your bud between his fingers while he slams into you, growling and moaning and begging you to cum with him.
“I’m close,” he grunts, licking his fingers and rubbing furiously at your clit.
“Me too,” you whine. “I’m gonna—”
You don’t have time to finish the thought as he takes you over the edge with him. He slams his head back against the pillows as he pumps his hips and cums to the wild pulsing of your orgasm. Your cunt milks every last drop from him and you cry his name, clutching his wrists and letting your head fall back so you can wail your pleasure at the ceiling.
Jimin gasps, picking up his head to look down at how your pussy spreads open around him. Your slick cum coats the condom and his mouth waters, remembering the sweet tang of your taste. You’ve barely stopped grinding on him when he sits up to push you down on your back.
Pulling out, he kneels beside the bed and pulls you to the edge by your legs so he can gently lick you clean. He exhales a hot and heavy breath, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand before standing up to peel the loaded condom off his softening cock.
“That was… wow,” you pant, staring up at the ceiling for a moment as you try to regain your breath.
He’s already back at your side, wrapping an arm around you and pulling you towards his chest.
“Yeah,” he agrees while softly combing his fingers through your hair. He’s tired.
You smile against his sweaty chest and plant a soft salty kiss against him. Through the corner of your eye you see the row of untouched condoms on your nightstand. “We’ve got a lot left. Wanna go again?”
He hums a deep throaty sound and laughs when your hand falls to his limp cock. “I want to, but I need a bit to recharge. I can make you cum again while we wait. Do you want that, baby?”
“I always want that. But you don’t have to.”
The groan in his throat sounds croaky as he leans in to kiss your forehead. “I want to.”
He reaches down to wedge his fingers between your thighs and your whole body jumps at the sensitive sensation. How dare your body betray you in this moment?
“Seems like you might need time to recharge too,” he teases while nuzzling against the top of your head and squeezing you in a warm embrace against him. “I’m okay with just laying here and holding you.”
“Yeah?” You smile and cross your leg over his to get more comfortable. “Mmm. You can always help me study for the next test while you’re here.”
Laughter bubbles from his throat. “Are you trying to seduce me for answers to the exam? You know I don’t grade them, right.”
You roll your eyes and scoff, barely containing your giggles as you look up at him. “I don’t think I need to seduce anyone for answers. My head feels a little clearer now.”
“Oh? Why’s that?” he prods while playfully ghosting his fingers down your side.
“Because I know I can be distracted outside of class now instead. I mean, if you wanna keep doing this,” you explain while nervously drumming your fingertips on his chest. “I know I’m not anything special, but—”
Jimin lifts your chin and pulls you into a deep kiss. “You are,” he whispers when he pulls away.
You lick your lips and blink a few times. “I was gonna say you make me feel like I am the most special vanilla ice cream cone on the planet.”
His shy, warm smile fills your stomach with butterflies even as he makes his joke. “Want me to lick you up?”
“And so much more.”
It’s a weighted confession. You sit up to look at him so he knows this. He purses his lips and casts his away. He was avoiding this conversation.
“I don’t know how much more I can give you. I want to be what you deserve, but things are so hard right now. I don’t know that I can be someone who’s good enough for you. You deserve to be showered in gifts and taken on dates. You deserve to be given flowers every day. I don’t even have a car to take you somewhere for a vacation. I’m not sure I can be what you want.”
“Just be yourself,” you state plainly, cupping your hand around his jaw. “That’s what I want. So far I like the person I see. I like you, the real you.”
“I like you too,” he blurts, eyes snapping back to meet yours. “But I can’t afford—”
You press a finger to his lips. “I don’t need expensive dates or fancy gifts. I don’t need you to take care of me— well, last night was the exception and you didn’t need money for that. I just want you to be with me. Talk with me. Spend time with me. Maybe have lots of sex? I don’t know, we can figure out the rest later.” You laugh, embarrassed by your own boldness.
“You see everything that I am and you still want me.” He shakes his head in disbelief. “You’re amazing. Now I know for sure you’re too good for me. But,” he pauses and slips his hands into yours, “I want to keep seeing you. I like talking to you and the more time I spend with you, the more certain I feel about the choices I’ve made. No one’s ever made me feel so free. I want to hold onto that feeling. I want to hold onto you.”
You tell yourself not to cry as you straddle his waist and hover above his lips. “I’m yours then. Are you mine?”
He catches your lips between his and buries his hands in your hair. “I’m yours.”
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CW // dehumanizing whumpee, whumpee being refered to as a pet (bc i don't have a name for him yet pls gimmie suggestions) general whumping, mentions of suicide, low self esteem thoughts, conditioned whumpee, whumper refered to as Master, vampire whumper, victim blaming from whumper
Kieran was growing increasingly impatient. The meeting had dragged on longer than he’d expected and now the schedule he was trying to develop for the Pet was going to take even longer to set up. His annoyance grew further as his stomach hissed at him. He gripped tighter at the wheel, with everything going on in the company and with his new pet he’d forgotten to eat. How long had it been? Two? Three? Maybe four at the most. Either way, his poor decisions were finally catching up with him. He was ready to pounce on anything that had blood pumping through its veins. Sweat began forming on his forehead as he panted softly. His fangs began popping in and out uncontrollably as he continued staring at the road. He had at least another 45 minutes before he could finally eat again.
•──────────────────•°•❀•°•──────────────────•
Pet stumbled into the living room. Gripping the sofa for any sort of leverage. His hands dipped into the plush couch. He sank to his knees gripping the couch. He whimpered softly, his other hand snaking around his stomach. He figured it was a punishment for the scene he'd caused in the store. He'd do just about anything to fix it if his Master would give him a chance. But the routine that Master had didnt allow for that. He came home and would go into the room he wasn't allowed in. He tried other ways to be helpful and prove he deserved food, he kept the house clean, didn't speak unless spoken to and didn't make eye contact like he was trained. Most of these tasks were pretty easy since Master didn’t eat and neither did Pet and that Master was really only in one room or just not home most of the time.
Pet rose to his feet staggering toward the door. Vision blurring instantly. He remembered this type of hunger. It's happened many times before. He couldn’t stand up too fast or walk for too long. But it was ok because it seemed like Master preferred him on the floor. He eased back onto the floor.
•──────────────────•°•❀•°•──────────────────•
Kieran knuckles were white as he finally made it to the main road of his home. He had one thing on his mind. He finally pulled into his driveway. Nearly forgetting to park the car. He slammed the door shut speeding toward his destination. He clumsily unlocked the door, Pet who was out of his line of sight behind the door getting slammed backwards onto the floor sending the poor thing scrambling backwards. He’d be sure to apologize later but right now the important thing was feeding. Pet’s scent was suffocating; he could feel himself choking on it. He rushed toward the refrigerator, he couldn’t be near Pet, not like this. The second his hand made contact with the handle of the refrigerator his shoulders lost all the tension that had built up during the day, but just as soon as it was gone it came back tenfold. Empty. It didn't make sense. He was sure he’d had one bag of blood left. He searched desperately for any sign or trace of it inside. Thinking over what he’d done the week before and how he kept putting off his shopping for work. His eyes landed on a small note.
“we need to talk maybe we could drink over dinner?- Caroline” His knuckles went white again as he slammed the door shut violently not caring that it nearly tipped the refrigerator over. He needed to change his locks, no one's ex should still be entering their home months after a break up. He was fucked. His breathing picked up, he could feel his fangs throbbing. Then that damn scent invaded his nostrils again. It was warm, enticing, practically calling out to him. Pulling him in just begging for him to sink his teeth into it. But he couldn't, that's not what he’d bought the damn thing for. But that’s what a pet was made for. Made to serve whatever Master was put in front of it. Pets were born for this. Pets were weaker,smaller; Pets were human, infinite blood bags and this one, this one belonged to Kieran.
•──────────────────•°•❀•°•──────────────────•
Pet meekly made his way into the kitchen. He would have just gone straight to bed but he knew he’d regret not asking water tonight. Master seemed more tense than usual and he didn't know if he was going to be used as some sort of stress reliever.
Pet fumbled to the kitchen, the loud noise making him nearly change his mind. Masters footsteps came toward him swiftly, he kept his eyes down. Trying to remember everything he’d been taught.
Don't speak.
Keep your head down
Don't fight back
Master is always right
“Master…” his voice felt out of place in the usual silence that had been happening between the two. And finally., after three days of waiting Master gave his first orders.
“Go to your room, lock the door, and no matter what I say do not open the door. Do you understand me?”
Master’s voice was stern yet so soft. Pet wanted nothing more than to be praised by this voice. A voice so firm it felt...safe.
“Yes Sir.” Pet mumbled before leaving, padding up the stairs locking the door to the room Master had given him. It was different from what he’d been used to. This bed wasn’t a towel on the floor, it was huge. This Master was so different from his previous ones it was hard to get a read on what kind he was going to be.
There was no going back or second chances. Getting sent back meant getting drained dry. Pet had seen it happen before to others. The only one he remembered was the one who’d lent him food when he was being starved as a punishment. Pet wished he could have repaid her before she was drained. She’d been sent back multiple times and that's when the three-strikes rule started. She wasn’t obedient most of the time. She talked about wanting freedom a lot, he felt like she kept getting sent back on purpose just so that hopefully the trainers would let her go. Unfortunately that's when everyone found out what being what being let go really meant.
Pet was snatched from his thoughts by a sudden banging on his door.
“Open. The. Door.”
It was Master. Was it some sort of test? He’d just been given a direct order not to open the door. So Pet sat still on the bed, he felt ill; it wasn’t just from his lack of nutrition. He felt as if he was disobeying an order. But it had to be a test otherwise Maser wouldn’t have made him come up here in the first place. But the pounding on the door continued. Getting more violent as the seconds went on. Pets brows furrowed in confusion
“I said, open the door!”
Master was practically growling He hopped down from the bed rushing for the door he reached for the door but quickly pulled back his shaking hand. He needed to follow his original order. This was definitely a test, it had to be. It went eerily quiet. Pet backed away from the door turning away. After this test was over he hoped Master would give him food and water and maybe even give him the gentle touches he’d received on his first night and maybe just to hear Master say he was proud of him. Pet was snapped from his fantasy as thuds began repeatedly against the door again.
Pet watched in horror from the floor as the door cracked. Wood splitting as the door was bashed in. The door was opened so hard it fell off the hinges. Master was seething, his rage was suffocating. Pet wanted to drop to the floor and just beg for forgiveness for whatever he’d done wrong but it was clear whatever was about to happen no mercy would be shown. A deep growl echoed through the room before Pet was snatched from his place on the floor being manhandled out of the room. Pet yelped, pleading for mercy as he struggled blindly against Master.
He didn’t understand how he'd upset Master this much, he’d followed the order hadn’t he? He didn’t have much time to think about it before he was promptly thrown down the stairs. White hot pain flashed across his body as he tumbled down. Each stair engnighting a searing pain through his body. Pet collided with the floor with such force he thought he cracked it. A piercing scream ripped through the air, Pet hadn’t even realized it was his own scream until Master’s hands came around his throat quieting his cries.
“M’sorry!” Pet choked, tears spilling down his cheeks as he gripped onto Master's wrists trying to no avail to get free of the hold Master had on him.
His arms flailed wildly as he tried with everything he had left in him. Master seemed entirely unaffected by the struggle, simply collecting both of Pet’s wrists in one hand before slamming them onto the floor with the rest of Pets' crumpled body.
“I don’t know- I don’t know what I did! I’m sorry! I’m sorry, please I can b-be better...I can do better!” Pet begged, wheezing from the pain spreading through his lungs making his breathing feel like he was being stabbed over and over.
Master’s hand came crashing down on Pet’s face, pinning his face down to the floor. He didn’t even have a moment to react to the first flash of pain before another came shooting through his entire body. Whatever wail Pet would have made was caught in his throat. His eyes rolling into his head from this newfound pain.
He’d been bitten many times before, the last time he’d been fed from wasn’t that long ago. So why did this time hurt so much more? It was overwhelming, he felt like he was drowning. Pet made eye contact as Master lifted his head from Pet’s neck, blood still seeping from the bite. His eyes glowing a drunken crimson.
“You’re as sweet as you smell," Master snarled, wiping Pet’s blood from his bottom lip.
Pet tried to apologize again but the words came out garbled as sobs continued to rob him of air. Master started to go for another bite, Pet was trained to sit and take this. Pet wasn’t supposed to cry about this. Pet was supposed to be good for whatever his master needed from him. No matter how many beatings and feedings he got there was still something in him. His old master said it was called human instinct but he called it defiance. Pet’s were supposed to lose that in training. But yet somehow after everything that had happened to him he still had it, Pet still wanted to listen to the fading little voice in the back of his head that told him to fight or scream or run at any opportunity that was open.
“Fight back”
Pet didn’t even realize what he’d done until his hand collided with Master’s face. He didn’t know if it was from the fall or the blood loss all he knew was that he was finally feeling something other than pain
This was a new emotion, this was terror. He’d hit someone, not just anyone but his Master. Pet could feel whatever was left in his stomach slowly trying to crawl out of his throat. Master’s crimson eyes were the last thing he could clearly make out before Master’s grip became tight enough to cause a deafening pop from Pet’s wrist. Next came what seemed like an endless barrage of fists pounding into him. This time Pet knew it was him when a shriek echoed through the room.
Master’s boot came into contact with his chest and Pet gripped it with all he had left, sobbing desperately for any sort of mercy. It didn’t take much for Master to get his foot back and leave Pet winded against the floor. His lungs burning with each shallow breath he managed to take in. The only thing his body was meant to do was to take the pain. He’d learned that over the years and he had the scars to prove it. But even after everything he still couldn’t take it. His vision quickly clouded with black dots. Pet could make out a large silhouette in front of him. A hand slamming his face back into the floor.
“Don’t fight it, just close your eyes; I don’t need you to be awake to get what I want.”
Pet obeyed without a second thought, he was so tired of fighting, he just wanted to be good. No matter how hard he tried, he always managed to ruin it, and now he was going to die alone with a Master who probably hated him just as much as he hated himself.
☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ:✧*⋆.*:･ﾟ✧.: ⋆*･ﾟ: .⋆ ☾
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@tavecincertum
#whump#whump writing#whump fic#whump blog#whump community#pet whump#whump tropes#caretaker turned whumper#whumpee#vampire whumper#captivity whump#this was a lot longer than i thought it would be#why am i so mean to my whumpee#pls help me name him
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Keeping Up With Seijoh Ep. 3
a/n: uwuwuwuwu this is an au since yanno,,,, they didnt really make it to nationals :(
for more seijoh content, check this masterlist out!
GUESS WHOS BACK! BACK AGAIN!
anon:
may i request a scenario where seijoh made it to nationals and atsumu flirts with reader🥺
CAN WE BLS STOP THIS SANGWOO/ATSUMU TYPA BEAT BC I HONESTLY DONT VIBE W IT AND IT LOWKEY SCARES ME A LITTLE :o
OMLOMLOML YALL MADE IT TO NATIONALS
to be honest, it was,,, unexpected
you were sitting there, on the bench and gripping it in anticipation as seijoh and shiratorizawa were once again at a match point thanks to kyotani’s angry spike
going past 31, they were now 31-30 with seijoh in the lead
you could tell ushijima was getting antsy despite him covering it up and encouraging his team with a one-liner
your own team was buzzing with both nervousness and hope and iwaizumi was clenching and unclenching his fists in anticipation for the last toss
when the ball went up, oikawa’s eyes flashed, arms moving to set and the red-haired spiky guy was now watching which spiker he was going to give it to
however
he tossed it to no one
instead, oikawa’s hand flicked and he dumped the ball
it was like in slow motion and as shiratorizawa’s players scrambled to the floor,
it was too late
the ball bounced on yellow polished floor before rolling away, completely unaware of what just happened and the lives it just changed
your mouth hung open, eyes trailing after the rubber ball like every single people in the gym
then it finally hit you
‘YOOOOOOOOSSSSHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!’
a scream from iwaizumi lit the candle of happiness and you didnt even care, running out to the court to jump on your captain, tears flowing down his face and his arms squeezing you tightly against his chest
‘AKLDFJJSHKFEOIOWIHFSKESIFOEWIHE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!’
it was all a jumbled noise from everyone, your team, your coaches, the fans in the stand, and even from that orange boy and his team
the boys were hugging each other and crying and sobbing but oikawa’s hold remained on you, your own tears mixing with his sweat and coating his neck
‘you did it, oikawa-san. you did it’
you whimpered and he laughed and you felt him nodding
‘we’re going to tokyo. nationals!’
he choked out
‘OIKAWA!’
the entire gym rumbled and you basked in the joy that the entire team radiated before having to stand with the coaches so they could shake hands with shiratorizawa for a good game
the locker room was loud, even much louder than the gym, with kindaichi’s loud sobbing and mattsuhana’s loud celebratory singing and iwaizumi’s joking shouts and eventually joining in
iwaizumi held his arms out for you and you giggled, crashing straight into him
you wiped his sweat filled face and he sat down on the bench, with you standing between his legs and his large hands gripping your waist
‘it’s not a dream, right?’
he whispered, eyes closed at the gentle feeling of you caressing his face
‘no, iwa-san. nationals is ours’
you soothed and he let out another loud laugh before pulling you close and burying his face in your stomach, probably crying again but this time, out of joy
for years theyve tried
and now, they succeeded
well,,, nationals should be a good thing, right?
hmm,,, maybe the honor of going
but the other players??
oh god
it was obvious when miyagi’s representative entered through those doors and eyes immediately went to their manager
it wasnt like you were the only female manager but you were an unfamiliar team so you have never been seen before
uwu youre so pretty like bow down to the goddess
oikawa’s hold on your hand was tight and his eyes flitted to everyone who looked at them, as if signalling them to back off and you were his
‘wahh, oikawa-san! kageyama told me that the best of the best are in here! he told me to look for fukurodani and nekoma!’
seijoh’s eye twitched at the mention of your new-found friend who you’ve been texting back and forth and him secretly teaching you everything about volleyball since your own team has been too busy preparing for nationals
they watched you try and stand in your tippy toes to find the apparent red and black jerseys and the black, white and gold jerseys
hmm,,,, it seems everyone had the same colors
‘ne, y/n-chan, you trust our team, don’t you? if anything, we’re part of the best of the best! you got the best setter right here!’
oikawa grinned but you nodded distractedly
‘come on, we got to go unpack and train’
iwaizumi nudged so you had to stop looking and you followed your captain, who still held your hand
but this is a typical fanfiction ladies and gents
as you were walking towards the locker room, there was a team that wore maroon colored jackets and were walking towards you
again, this is seijoh’s very first nationals so nobody really knew of them
they were more familiar of the white and purple jackets of shiratorizawa rather than the mint green and white of seijoh
however, oikawa seemed to know them
‘ah’
he whispered out, making you look up at him but his sights were straight towards them, a hard and cold look
‘ara? fresh blood?’
you cringed at the weird analogy and the guy with the black tips, who you infered to be the captain, elbowed him
‘excuse us’
he nodded in greeting and you noticed the guy with the bleach hair and you did a double-take, blinking rapidly
‘oh sangwoo?’
KSLDFJKDLFJSLDK KILL ME ALREADY
watari coughed, knowing exactly what you meant and it seems nobody else did except for the sangwoo look-a-like
and he raised an eyebrow in interest
‘hm? you called?’
another guy with gray hair, who looked exactly like him, rolled his eyes and he pulled him forward to walk after their captain
but he didnt let off yet
as he passed you by, he leaned close, breath fanning your ear
‘but its miya atsumu, baby girl’
ON GOD I WANT TO COMMIT WITH HOW GROSS HE IS LIKE BLS
kyo, who was behind you, growled at him and pulled you behind himself
‘she has name, fcker’
atsumu faked a surprise and backed away with his hands up
‘alrighty, then. didnt know you had a bodyguard, girlie. but maybe,, later on, we could get to know each other. alone’
YALL THIS IS GOING TO GET BETTER LATER I PROMISE HES NOT A WEIRDO PERVERT AS HE SOUNDS
osamu was annoyed and dragged him away, leaving you with your team, who were also extremely pissed off, especially oikawa
‘heh, the best setter in the country and yet he acts like a horny dog’
oikawa seethed, a pointy smile etched on his face
‘eh? best setter?’
you wondered but not given an answer because your captain would be damned if that atsumu decided to show up again
the locker room was actually the same back home
but kindaichi was sobbing again
‘t-this room! the best of the best! i cant-too much-’
you were busy hugging him and wiping his tears to notice the third years huddling over by the corner
oikawa was sitting on the bench while iwaizumi was changing into his practice jersey and the other two were flanked beside the captain
‘of course theyve got their eye on her now’
oikawa mumbled, fingers laced together and touching his lips
‘what can you expect? y/n-chan is an extremely pretty girl’
mattsun shrugged
‘but ugh, if i see that cheese face again,, i will fight’
iwa threatened, angrily slipping his arms through the holes
‘he reeked nasty! gross!’
makki agreed
‘so we’re agreeing to keep her in our sights right?’
they agreed to oikawa’s question and were going to stick by that word
but,,,,
what can you expect from star-struck players?
maybe its because theyve worked for so long to reach this point that the fact that they’re even standing in the tokyo stadium felt like a dream
‘guys, i need to go and fill the bottles really quick’
they mumbled distracted agreements so you sighed and lugged the crate of bottles
thank god there was a fountain nearby and as you were capping the last one, a familiar voice rang from behind you
‘oh? baby girl?’
you flinched at the weird nickname and thought that if you stayed quiet, hed leave
‘chibi? hey?’
he asked and made his way to your side, you closing your eyes and looking off to the side
atsumu thought you were interesting, not like every girl who would spread their legs at him and press up to him
the fact that you even AVOIDED looking at him was so foreign to him and your dismissive attitude made him so drawn to you
‘look, im sorry if i made ya uncomfortable earlier’
he,,, apologized?
but you didnt know who he was so you didnt know how out of character it was for him to even say ‘sorry’
'miya-san, hello’
you mumbled, eyes now opened but still focused on the bottle you gripped
he cracked a smile and was he,,,, nervous?
usually, hed say something dumb or sarcastic to cut the tension, but it was like he was even,,, careful,,, with what he wanted to say next
‘how-um-you like it ‘ere?’
if osamu was to see him now, he’d think his brother was kidnapped by those aliens oikawa swore up and down were real and was replaced by some opposite dimension version of atsumu
you gulped, mustering up a small smile before turning to look at him
‘miya-san, dont take offense to this, but just know i have a very loud voice and i can lift 80 pounds. and im the first one to ever beat iwa-san in an arm-wrestling match’
you puffed your cheeks in intimidation with your eyebrows furrowed but accidentally looking more cute rather than scary
were you,,, threatening him?
atsumu paused for a second to assess the situation and really understand the underlying meaning of your words
then he laughed
a real hearty laugh that made him go for a whole minute
‘-ahahaha!! whew, chibi-chan, ya’r a rare one’
wait i dont know how to type you’re with an accent !!!!!
he let out a few more chuckles then wiped a tear that fell
you just stood there 🧍♀️
‘you think its funny, miya-san? yahaba-kun and i also have a supernatural telepathy phenomenon-’
‘chibi-chan, i swear i wont hurt ya’
he promised but you backed your face away, an eyebrow raised
‘thats what they all say. if anything, youre scaring me more so i’ll-’
‘wait’
he held out a hand out but he quickly curled it, pulling it back to his chest
‘i,,,, listen i know how basic this may sound but,,,, youre the first to ever be like this to me’
you rolled your eyes
‘you think i havent heard that before? i have oikawa-san in my team, for god’s sake! ‘youre one of a kind’ ‘youre not like other girls’ yadda yadda’ try harder, miya-san’
you tilted your head with a crooked smile
were you,,, playing hard to get?!
atsumu’s eyes shined, wanting to finally do the chasing rather than being chased
‘well, first off, chibi-chan, i need to know your name’
he leaned forward with his hands buried deep inside his maroon jacket pocket
‘my name? what good will that do? you already call me something else dont you? a name is meant to help people call each other and youve been calling me ‘chibi’ so what’s the point of giving you my birth name?’
even with a straight face, atsumu right away knew of your teasing as your eyes were shining brightly and had a hint of amusement in them
oh my god hes in love with you
he was in disbelief of your attitude towards him so he nodded slowly and laughed again
‘what can i do to earn that name then, chibi-chan?’
ehehehe kuroo,,,,, im in danger
you crossed your arms and pouted, leaning forward
‘ehh? why do you want it so bad? do you call others ‘chibi’ too?’
your expression of suspicion was so adorable that he couldnt stop himself from lunging forward and squeezing your cheeks between his fingers
‘so cute. youre my only chibi, chibi-chan’
you hummed, swiftly wiping his touch away from you
‘doubt it. ive only met you today and you’re already acting like this. what makes you think i think youre genuinely interested in me, miya-san?’
‘fate?’
this time, you chuckled, head leaning down
and as you looked back up, your heart stopped
by the distance, there was a familiar-looking haired boy with golden eyes and an also familiar black hair and steel blue eyes
oh dear
your emotions went sour but you saw the black and white-haired male laugh and the steel eyed male shake his head in disapproval but had the hint of the smallest smile
they,, were now happy
‘fate, you say’
you mumbled distractedly
‘fate instilled magnets in us so i just cant help but be drawn to ya’
atsumu grinned but you averted your eyes to look at him, a soft and genuinely happy look
‘would those magnets be strong enough to draw us together, even if we were in another life? if we were fated, would we meet again?’
you looked up at him, your eyes still glistening but this time, with the slightest bit of hope
atsumu sent you a confused glance but he still shrugged
‘i guess so, if i’m so drawn to you right now. maybe in our past life we were,,, together?’
he tested out, expecting you to roll your eyes and walk away but you laughed
‘well, i just witnessed it happening so maybe its possible?’
you wondered out loud
atsumu blinked again, getting more and more interested in you
‘chibi-chan?’
he asked you and you jumped slightly to look at him with a smile
‘say, miya-san, what if i told you that i remember my past life? and what would you say if i told you that you were in it?’
you grinned but atsumu scrunched his face together before smiling
‘hmm, i dont know what youre sayin but it proves my point!’
he exclaimed but you cocked an eyebrow, a sad smile resting on your lips
‘now what would you say if i told you that you were my nurse?’
a/n: omg i actually hate how this turned out like bls blast me on this
a/n pt 2: during my break, i actually re-read ‘in another life’ and i wrote this up after i finished it again and can i just say? I WILL NEVER SHUT UP ABOUT THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!! CREDITS TO LITTLELUXRAY ON AO3
a/n pt 3: hewwo im back again and since no one replied with a link, i can,,, guess??,,, that the book is gone??? or taken down?? but anyways, i just really wanted to post something and tbh, stuff like this cant be helped but i really do hope that it’s gone and if its not, dkasjdfkslf again send me the link
#haikyuu!!#haikyuu#haikyuu imagines#haikyuu!! imagines#haikyuu x reader#haikyuu!! x reader#haikyuu headcanons#haikyuu!! headcanons#aoba johsai#aoba johsai x reader#aoba josai x reader#aoba josai#seijoh#aoba johsai imagines#aoba josai imagines#seijoh imagines#seijoh manager#haikyuu manager#haikyuu!! manager#aoba johsai manager#aoba josai manager#seijoh x reader#aoba johsai headcanons#aoba josai headcanons#seijoh headcanons#haikyuu fluff#haikyuu!! fluff#aoba johsai fluff#aoba josai fluff#seijoh fluff
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♤| dragon ball shapeshifter au
storyline rundown
part two
tw: profanity !! a bit of gore and such
the story begins on kakarot's farm! he lives with his parents, bardock and gine, and his brother raditz.
kakarot takes his produce to the market to sell, talking to krillin who is a police officer watching over in case of robbery or stolen goods, with his wife 18 and his daughter marron.
he hangs out there and sells all his produce, making a whopping amount of money to give back to his mother to go towards their farm. so thats what he does.
later that night, raditz barged in through the door, huffing loudly and covered in purple blood. it had a reddish tint. gine and bardock jump to their feet, bardock still in his training gi and gine in her white shirt and some sweatpants. "raditz!? what happened?" bardock exclaimed, gine following up with "why are you covered in... purple blood!?" this caused kakarot to come out of his room in a rush, "h-h-holy s-shit! i didnt kill anyone i swear mom, mom, dad please, i wouldn't do that!" raditz panicked. "s-something tried to attack me! i didnt know what to do so i attacked back!!" he tries to wipe the blood off, it being on his face.
whatever happened, scared raditz enough to make him shake in fear and what seems to be regret despite it being to protect himself.
kakarot however, still was unsure what happened. his father said he would explain in the morning, the situation was too dire for kakarot to get involved - especially with the police.
in town, vegeta covered his bloodied chest, panting as he hid deep in an alleyway. "goddammit," he huffs, slicking his hair back to keep the human bangs out of his face. hes got a huge gash across his chest, thanks to that damned raditz he happened to work with. luckily, he was morphed into some other alien lifeform and not his original shift state. he slowly morphed into a bird, a finch, and flew off to him apartment. he always kept his window cracked just in case this were to happen. just his luck, we wont be able to eat and to heal he needs that energy for food or else hell be out asleep for awhile.
he decides calling off work, so thats what he does. what he doesnt expect is a man with a thick ass fucking tail and slicked back purple hair and red eyes to be reading a book, lounging like a king on his bed. "f... frieza!?" vegeta says, startled.
"ah hello my creation! lovely seeing you here, dont you think?" he throws the book off to the side, getting up and striding over to the bloodied vegeta. "aw looks like you got a paper cut." he jabs a finger into vegetas cut across his chest. vegeta groans in pain, a tentacle whipping around to hit frieza away into a safer distance, but the icejin blocks smoothly with his muscled tail.
from here:
wow!! you found out vegeta is a "creation" of friezas, but what exactly does that mean?
raditz gets taken in for questioning. he gets blamed for a murder that happened on the otherside of town, the law system being dumb sentenced him to 25 years in prision for a murder he didnt do
kakarot is confused, bardock telling him there arent any alien threats and it was a misunderstanding on the jury and judge's parts bc raditz was getting mugged and a murder far away happened at roughly the same time, and they were desperate to throw someone into jail.
this is a lie, to some extent. kakarot believes it, living happily thinking there are no threats
vegeta attacked raditz, needing food. shapeshifters need to eat hearts and lungs of animals as food
raditz is the one who cut him across the chest (thatd why he has a scar on his chest in the ref sheet)
kakarot has to bring crops and milk into a market farther into town sometime in the next week, it being an event ran by capsule corp, a company that produces a lot of housing and vehicles and being in business for 40 years being the anniversary that day.
vegeta is a mechanical manager, wearing fancy clothing that day since its technically a high spot in the ranks for capsule corp.
vegeta likes milk, surprisingly. it helps a lot when recovering damage, especially his species. this is when he meets kakarot
kakarot is running his stand with the crates of crops and glass jars of milk set out on display with their price, krillin with him
vegeta is annoyed he has to speak up to get the seller's attention so he grunts with an "ahem"
kakarot jumps, apologizing and asking what he wants to buy. vegeta gets his milk and some vegetables for someone he knows
"hey, whats with the fancy suit?"
"you dont know who i am?"
"no. should i?"
"i-? im vegeta! im manager of the mechanics in capsule corp!"
"oh. is the job hard?"
they conversate, as kakarot sells his produce happily listening as he was able to get the short man with a temper to talk about his job.
vegeta himself was caught off guard by this action but happily talks
this ends in kakarot running behing the stand's curtain and grabbing his business card so vegeta can have a discount on milk next time he decides to buy
vegeta takes the card walking off
the card has kakarots name and number on the back, a message saying "text me personally if you want extra, i dont mind taking some. you seem cool!"
vegeta is a bit ticked, but pockets the card
over time, vegeta and kakarot talk over text a bit, kakarot delivering him milk like an old time milk delivery boy
turns out he actually used to be one as a kid
turns out hes been into marial arts as well, a long time interest of vegetas
they bond over this, kakarot find himself growing a crush on vegeta
one time kakarot stops buy with a delivery unannounced, not knowing he typed the text but didnt send it. he knocks on vegetas apartment door, but no answer.
he checks to see if its unlocked, and it is so he lets himself in, just wanting to put the delivery on the counter and head out.
he doesnt expect to turn around and see a vegeta with a towel wrapped around his waist, tentacles coming out of his back, green eyes, and sharp ears, teeth, and claws. "K-KAKAROT!? WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?" he yells, surprised. he doesn't have bangs either
"why do you have tentacles?? why do you look different? why do you have that scar?"
vegeta is caught off guard, not sure if he should push kakarot out or tell him the truth. one way or another he knows the truth will spread, so he carefully debates his options
he tells kakarot the truth, hes a shapeshifter and hes insanely dangerous
kakarot is surprised dangerous aliens exist
he tells vegeta this, and deep down vegeta is mad kakarot is sheltered
little do they know as they conversate and bond, growing closer to each other kakarot finds out vegeta made a vow not to ever get in a relationship no matter how much he envied them, especially a human relationship, a certain someone is watching them and listening in, theyre keeping tabs on vegetas and kakarots feelings
trust issues amirite?
later that night, kakarot says his goodbye heading home, heart pounding. wow!!!! vegeta is... great. very great. kinda cute too, i mean what!?? no!!
kakarot rants to himself aloud in his room, window open to keep himself cool, about vegeta as he debates his feelings. he doesnt care if this seems out of character in his friends terms, all they see from him anyway is a dense fightcrazed guy with a dysfunctional relationship with an ex and his son. he realized vegeta doesnt see him like that, but, what DOES vegeta see him as?
he calls it a night
he wakes up to a "thwap, thwap, thwap" against his wooden floor
he sits up, looking around and seeing a short figure sitting at his desk.
"whos there?"
"ah, youre awake monkey! i have valuable information for you, about your lovely vegeta." the voice is squeaky
"and, who is telling me this?" kakarots interest is piqued, not seeing the mysterious figure as a threat, as of now at least
"oh-hohoho! im dr. cold! but please, call me frieza. doctor cold is my father's name."
"and what do you have to tell me about vegeta?"
"mmm, are you sure you want to know?" he gets up, beginning to pace
"theres a catch isnt there" kakarot realizes, serious
"oh! maybe you arent so dense afterall. yes, there iss monkey. its simple, deliever some of your left over crop to my facility tomorrow, i already left the address on a paper over on that... pitiful little desk of yours." frieza pauses. "vegeta will kill you if you arent careful. hes hungry, and he wants that heart. but... i think the poor creation wants it in more than one way. kill him before he kills you."
frieza hands kakarot a box cutter
"thats the only thing that will kill him. if you dont do it i expect that delivery tomorrow by midnight. if you dont show, and theres no news of him being dead, youll be a brilliant collection to my creations, monkey!" the man laughs in joy, clasping his hands together as his red eyes pierce through kakarot
kakarot reluctantly agrees, unsure how this will play out
PART TWO WILL BE MADE SOON!!!
anyway heres the part 1 of the rundown.
#shs goku#shs frieza#shs#shs vegeta#shs dbz au#dbz au#kakavege#frieza being a damn brat lol#dragon ball#I REALLY HOPE YALL FIND THIS INTERESTING#theres a lot that went into it#txt post#long post
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jotaro kujo song analysis: “eight” by sleeping at last
i could not figure out what the fuck to title this for a long time. please forgive me ik it’s awkward but it’s the best i got
anyway the song “eight” by sleeping at last made me mentally ill so let’s get into why <3
here’s a link to the song: https://youtu.be/obi4KCh6eHQ
here’s a link to the lyrics i referenced: https://genius.com/Sleeping-at-last-eight-lyrics
be warned there are part 3, part 4, part 5, and part 6 spoilers in this
with that let’s begin.
“I remember the minute;/it was like a switch was flipped --/i was just a kid who grew up strong enough/to pick this armor up,/and suddenly it fit”
Lengthy first line to start this on i know but cutting it up didn’t make sense so please forgive me…
Alright let’s get to the meat of this hm?
This line is about when jotaro first manifested star platinum. “I remember the minute, it was like a switch was flipped” fits perfectly with how suddenly and obviously star platinum became known to its user, as jotaro first manifests it when he’s in the middle of a fight, a fight star platinum ends very quickly and brutally.
The “i was just a kid who grew up strong enough to pick this armor up” is about jotaro having the willpower to control a stand such as star platinum and not get ill over it. He “grew up strong enough to pick this armor up”, this armor being star platinum (which, yes, star platinum is armor more than a weapon because its strength is used to protect. This is stated explicitly in the jin hashimoto song “star platinum” which was written specifically with jotaro/star platinum in mind, as the title suggests). It also shows how young jotaro was re the “kid” description; he was only 17, the youngest jojo up to that point.
the “and suddenly it fit” also mixes with how suddenly star platinum manifested, particularly how jotaro gained passable control over it very quickly
“God, that was so long ago, long ago, long ago…/I was little, I was weak, I was perfectly naive,/and I grew up too quick.”
Another long line im sorry it just doesnt make sense to cut it up 😭
Anyway this is part 6 jotaro reflecting on his past self, PARTICULARLY part 3 jotaro, which explains the “god, that was so long ago, long ago, long ago…” segment
“I was little, i was weak, i was perfectly naive” is kinda gold coming from part 6 jotaro cause end of part 3 jotaro is canonically when he’s at his strongest but i dont think part 6 jotaro is talking about star platinum in this line. He’s talking about jotaro being tactless and rude and pushing away his loved aways in a disillusioned attempt to keep them safe. By part 6, jotaro has to have known his coping mechanism of self-imposed isolation wasnt fair to his loved ones/himself and it clearly didnt WORK as evidenced by jolyne’s situation, so he’s cursing his younger self for it here. Hence, the calling of part 3 jotaro “little, weak, perfectly naive.” part 3 jotaro starts making the bed that part 6 jotaro ends up having to lay in and he hates him for it.
The “and I grew up too quick” part is jotaro acknowledging his trauma. Even before part 3 started jotaro clearly had issues and they just kept building and building and building from part 3 and on. Combined with his self-imposed isolation, jotaro had to grow up quick to survive, and this line is part 6 jotaro reflecting on that
“Now you won’t see all that i have to lose,/all i’ve lost in the fight to protect it.”
Remember the self-imposed isolation i mentioned in the last line? This line is about why jotaro does that. He hates being vulnerable. He hates relying on others. We only see him comfortable trusting others to take care of things ONCE the entire series, during the steely dan arc, when he believes in kakyoin’s abilities to keep joseph safe and get the lovers out of him safely. ONCE out of the four parts he’s featured in, out of the three he’s prominent in. jotaro does this, as i previously mentioned, out of a disillusioned attempt to keep those he loves safe, hence the “now you won’t see all that i have to lose” line. This behavior is solidified in jotaro at the end of stardust crusaders, when the two final times he tried to trust that others would handle it resulted in the deaths of over of half those he cared the most about (he may have gotten joseph back, but don’t forget that joseph did actually die). Thus, this decisive night ties into the “all i’ve lost in the fight to protect it” line. He’s lost loved ones but he won’t lose them again, not in the same way at least. Ironically, the self-imposed isolation only puts his loved ones and himself in danger, but i can get into that later.
“I won’t let you in, i swore never again --/i can’t afford, no, i refuse to be rejected”
This line kinda ties back with what i was mentioning in the last line, but it hones it a bit more on jotaro’s complete denial of being vulnerable rather than how he acts to ensure he isnt such. “I wont let you in, i swore never again” is a direct tie-in for how jotaro feels after stardust crusaders; he is never going to get as close to anyone or anything the way he was close to the crusaders ever again. Nothing is ever going to matter to him the same way and he is going to make sure of that, as the “swore never again” implies, because he is certain, at least at first, that this will keep others safe. The “i can’t afford, no, i refuse to be rejected” part goes into how selfish and arrogant jotaro’s mentality is. Don’t get me wrong, jotaro’s self-imposed isolation can be seen as selfless, especially because the main driving force behind it is to keep others safe -- but it’s not the only force driving it. Like i said, jotaro doesn’t want to be vulnerable, and to be sure he doesnt feel that way, he needs to ensure he won’t be hurt. Can’t be sad when people die if you were never close to them, right? So as much as it is to protect others, he also is protecting himself by closing off from others. It’s also arrogant of jotaro to assume he is the deciding factor of who lives and dies, that he gets to choose/manipulate the cycle of life and death by deciding on if he opens up to others. Jotaro had this mentality of being a “deciding factor” shoved into his head during the journey to egypt, and that kinda warps his worldview as a result; everything must be his fault. Things go bad surely because he let them somehow. And it’s not jotaro’s fault he’s ill in the head like this but it is still arrogant, and the “i can’t afford, no, i refuse to be rejected” line attests to this.
“I want to break these bones until theyre better/i want to break them right and feel alive”
Oh jotaro you have the shittiest fuckign coping mechanisms
Alright.
“I want to break these bones until theyre better” ties into jotaro throwing himself into dangerous situations alone. He’s just so so damn convinced he can handle everything himself -- bc again, he is led to believe he is the deciding factor of life and death -- he just has to try. If things go wrong, it’s bc he didn’t try hard enough, hence the “break these bones until theyre better”; jotaro will hurt himself and will be convinced he deserved it until he “learns” how to be perfect like he’s “supposed” to be. But being perfect isnt something you can learn, you mentally ill motherfucker jotaro. anyway
“I want to break them right and feel alive” ties into the fact jotaro would rather break his body over and over and over rather than tell his loved ones he cares. The only right way to be hurt to him is taking a hit that was meant for those he loves. Jotaro is very much a man of action rather than a man of word, and this line is about his rather unique way of acting (that is, getting beat the fuck up over and over)
Basically jotaro can’t tell the people he loves that he, well, loves them, unless he is literally dying.
Examples of what i mean: jotaro preferred going on a perilous, 50-day journey to just telling holly he loved her; jotaro preferred getting beat over the head with a rock in the lovers arc rather than risk hurting joseph; jotaro preferred to literally get blown up by sheer heart attack rather than tell koichi to his face he is a good kid; jotaro stepped knowingly into a trap for jolyne and had to literally believe he was in fact saying his last words before he uttered “i’ve always cherished you.”
“You were wrong, you were wrong, you were wrong --/my healing needed more than time”
Oh my GODDDddDDDdcdd im sobbing as i type jotaro your head is so so damn ill
Okay so i see him spitting this line towards joseph. Let me explain
Joseph would no doubt pick up on jotaro’s ptsd and he’ll do his best to console jotaro over the deaths of their friends. But see joseph is ALSO an ill in the head idiot whose idea of therapy is electroshock and who calls ptsd “shell shock”. So all he can offer to jotaro is “youll feel better in time” because that was kinda true for him; he managed to move on in time. What joseph fails to realize is what made him feel better was not time, but the support of those remaining in his life (lisa lisa, suziq, erina, smokey). But jotaro listens and tries to give it time but the thing with jotaro is he just gets worse and worse as time wears on because he deliberately cut himself off from anyone who could console him (as well as got continually traumatized throughout his life), so time never helped but actually made things worse. Thus jotaro spitting “you were wrong, you were wrong, you were wrong, my healing needed more than time”. In terms of timeline, probably happens right after part 5 jotaro stares longingly at the crusaders picture
“When i see fragile things, helpless things, broken things/i see the familiar”
Im sorry every new line i start to analyze i begin crying so im just letting you all know incase the coherency takes a dip (as if this was coherent in the first place lmfao)
Anyway so this line in relation to Jotaro is about how he projects HARD on the new generation. We see this w his interactions w josuke and koichi, the “fragile things” (there is no way he didnt see koichi as a filler for kakyoin im sorry. Also he just wants josuke safe with his friends like how he wished he was safe with his own friends as a teenager), how he was wary of giorno, “the helpless things” (jotaro is scared he’ll be similar to his dad, just like jotaro is similar enough to dio to share the same stand power…), and his interactions w jolyne, “the broken things” (angry teen in a prison? Come now).
“I was little, i was weak, i was perfect too/now i’m a broken mirror”
Throwback to the second line. Once again part 6 jotaro is reflecting but the difference here is that part 3 was when jotaro was last unashamedly happy, but more than that, part 3 jotaro was on his way to healing before everything went to shit. like i mentioned earlier, jotaro only relies on someone else completely once, and that happens in part 3. Jotaro is finally able to trust in someone else’s capabilities, which is what he needed to do before he could allow anyone to help him with the weight of the world on his shoulders. Hence, why part 6 jotaro would describe him as “perfect”; because he would’ve been perfect enough if he could just trust in others like that again
But as the line suggests, that went wrong. Jotaro is now a “broken mirror,” which alludes to the fact that while he projects onto the kids, the kids (the ones that know him at least) project onto him as well, especially jolyne, because in part 6 she finally figures out her dad’s thought processes, as she is experiencing those patterns of thinking too. Jotaro is a role model for them in the sense of “see him? Do the opposite of what he did” KJ;DNJ;DN;SN
“But i can’t let you see all that i have to lose/all that i’ve lost in the fight to protect it”
Same meaning as before mostly but the repetition is important me thinks because it mimics jotaro like frantically trying to remind himself why he must be distant when all he wanted to do was go home to jolyne and be her father
“I can’t let you in --/ i swore never again,/ i can’t afford to let myself be blindsided”
This means roughly the same thing as the previous line that’s similar to this, but the “i can’t afford to let myself be blindsided” is less about jotaro’s selfishness/arrogance and more about how he believes enemies will use his loved ones against him and how goddamn, it would work, it would work so well because jotaro loves so, so damn much
It’s a shame distancing himself didn’t work the way he wanted it to and ended up making his loved ones even more vulnerable than they would have been otherwise
“I’m standing guard,/i’m falling apart/and all i want to do is to trust you”
(Begins screaming and doesn’t stop) okay so this line is about jotaro and jolyne during the beginning of stone ocean
“Im standing guard” alludes to the fact that jotaro is still desperately trying to appear distant and uninterested even as he attempts to break his fucking daughter out of prison
“I’m falling apart” ties into jotaro failing miserably at remaining cold towards jolyne, how he eventually caves in and tells her he loves her in addition to taking a literal bullet for her, using time stop to ensure he can make it to her to do so. and also this line ties into how he is literally physically shot and how his memories and stand are taken from him
“And all i want to do is to trust you” is directed towards jolyne of course. God his whole “i’ve always cherished you” ties in with this line; like i mentioned earlier, jotaro by part 6 knows his self-imposed isolation is useless, but old habits die hard and also he was in very deep by the time he accepted there was no reason to go in the first place at all. So he doesn’t know how to change, he doesn’t know how to trust jolyne, it’d been 20ish years since he last trusted someone completely, but god he wants to. He wants to trust her. It’s all he wants to do hence this line
“Show me how to lay my sword down/for long enough to let you through”
So continuing from the last line, jotaro just wants to let jolyne in. he wants to learn how to do that.
I think this line is actually directed towards his younger self; 17 year old jotaro managed to let in a person once, after all (more than one person in fact, but all the crusaders). This would also make more sense w my interpretation of how part 6 jotaro calls part 3 jotaro “perfect” in this regard
Essentially it’s jotaro thumbing through his memories to figure out how his past self gathered the security to trust in someone else wholeheartedly...which makes the fact that pucci steals his memories particularly fucked up in this context
“Here i am, pry me open/what do you want to know?”
Another line directed toward jolyne.
“Here i am, pry me open” refers to how after jotaro tells jolyne he cherishes her, all cards are on the table. He’s shown vulnerability, might as well go full throttle. So, he’s willing to talk to jolyne for the first time ever, especially because she’s a stand user now
“What do you want to know?” ties into jotaro being willing to open up, but also the fact that jolyne doesnt really know her dad ):
“I’m just a kid who grew up scared enough/to hold the door shut/and bury my innocence”
Hhnghg begins wailing this line is again about post-egypt jotaro. A lot of jotaro’s like...emotional maturation (and even some physical) occurred during the trip to egypt and immediately afterward. he’s in pain and desperately trying to rationalize a way he can be in control of never letting something like what happened in egypt happen again, hence the “im just a kid who grew up scared enough”
“To hold the door shut” refers to how jotaro cut off other people, even the people who used to know him very well, like joseph and polnareff and holly
“And bury my innocence” i mentioned this in another line but this bit also refers to how jotaro had to grow up quickly to survive, considering his self-imposed isolation and his life path of chasing down dio’s remnants
“But here’s a map, here’s a shovel/here’s my Achilles’ heel”
This line is SUPPOSED to be directed toward jolyne but inadvertently it is also directed toward pucci. When jotaro says fuck it and gives up on his pretense of disinterest in jolyne, finally letting her know he loves her, he’s finally building the frame of a bridge to jolyne; he’s ready to do what he’s wanted to for so long, no matter how vulnerable it makes him, and that is to be jolyne’s father. However, pucci takes note of this; he knows to aim for jolyne in the final battle because of jotaro’s earlier actions when he tries breaking jolyne out of prison. It really is a shame how the narrative keeps fucking enforcing jotaro’s shitty self-imposed isolation
“I’m all in, palms out, i’m at your mercy now and i’m ready to begin/i am strong, i am strong, i am strong enough to let you in”
Hmm i imagine this line being when jotaro meets back up with jolyne after he gets his memory disk back. The first thing he does is hug her and cradle her close to him, showing off to the world, right in front of pucci, how much his daughter means to him. But jotaro, at least for the moment, is not scared to be vulnerable anymore. Ever since he decided to give up his cold facade, he was ready to let jolyne in, and he finally has the chance to do that at least a little right before the final battle, which is what this line is about
“I’ll shake the ground with all my might/i will pull my whole heart up to the surface”
Final battle in stone ocean,,,
What the “i’ll shake the ground will all my might” line refers to is jotaro’s willingness to use star platinum the world during the battle. He’s ready to go all in to save the world, and most importantly, save jolyne, even if he has to use the source of his greatest trauma to do it. Jotaro’s a key player and he knows it, has known it for a long time, and this time he’s going to use that for his happy ending.
And well, as i mentioned in the last line, jotaro’s done with the self-isolation and throws himself into the role of jolyne’s father, at least as much as he has the right to throw himself into. This is mostly what the “i will pull my whole heart up to the surface” line refers to
“For the innocent, for the vulnerable/i’ll show up to the frontlines with a purpose”
More stone ocean final battle. The “innocent and vulnerable” jotaro is showing up for are jolyne, namely, but also hermes and emporio, and beyond that, the world. Jotaro understands how serious this is and he’s always been a force meant for protection, so he is here to do just that, which is what the “i’ll show up to the frontlines with a purpose” line refers to. Jotaro doesnt believe he’s a good person -- and he might not be, in the grand scheme of things -- but he does fight for what he believes is right, he always has, he mentions this way back in stardust crusaders during his fight with kakyoin. He’s never going to let injustice stand, especially not when he knows he’s such a key player
“And i’ll give all i have, i’ll give my blood, give my sweat --/an ocean of tears will spill for what is broken”
This line actually applies to all the “final battles” jotaro has been involved in; part 3, part 4, and part 6. Jotaro, as i mentioned in the last line, has a strong sense of justice and is a force that first and foremost tries to protect, which the “i’ll give all i have, i’’l give my blood, give my sweat” part of this line refers to. Jotaro gives his all, has given his all, to rid the world of dio’s influence, he ruined his entire fucking life to do so, and this line gives credence to that.
“An ocean of tears will spill for what is broken” refers to jotaro mourning all the what-ifs in his life, which are all tied with how the outcomes of these final battles go. If part 3 didnt end the way it did, jotaro would know how to trust still, he wouldve been happy even, maybe he wouldnt have had to sacrifice the rest of his life to dio; if part 4 didn’t end the way it did, maybe jotaro couldve gone home to his daughter, maybe he couldve been a bit of a better dad (this is because kids were involved in part 4 even if they didn’t try to because stand users attract stand users, and jotaro couldnt risk doing that to his daughter, so he ends up never coming home); and now for part 6, jotaro hopes that if it ends just a little better than the previous two, jotaro could at least died a satisfying death of sacrificing himself for jolyne, or maybe even got a chance to try mending his relationship with jolyne if they both survive
“I’m shattered porcelain, glued back together again”
So this line speaks to both physical and emotional states
Jotaro was physically “shattered porcelain” when he lost his stand and memory and also was shot, and he was “glued back together again” when he got medical attention and jolyne got back his disks
Jotaro was emotionally “shattered porcelain” due to the fact he couldnt trust anyone completely since he was 17 goddamn years old but he’s “glued back together again” in the sense he’s ready to finally, finally try and be vulnerable in order to save his relationship with jolyne
“Invincible like i’ve never been”
This line hurts so fucking much because i believe jotaro was optimistic, all things considered, at the beginning of the final fight in stone ocean. After all, he knows he’s an important figure in all this, he has his stand disk and memories back, he and jolyne and the others have a plan, and he has a future he wants to fight for in addition to the world’s continued functioning
So he feels “invincible” like he’s never felt before because not even during the part 3 final battle with dio did he have the hope for the future he has now.
But then. Then pucci brings out the knives. And the man who could control time never had enough in the end. He dies and cant even save jolyne with his death. The world ends. He failed. I think this is perfectly represented with how suddenly the song ends. It just perfectly encapsulates the tragedy that is jotaro kujo and i cant stop fucking thinking about it
thanks for reading all this if you did. jotaro kujo makes me feel mentally ill
#cass cries#cass creates#jjba#jojo#jojo's bizarre adventure#jojos bizarre adventure#jojo no kimyou na bouken#jojo no kimyō na bōken#jotaro kujo#kujo jotaro#jotaro#meta#song analysis#jojo meta#jjba meta#jotaro kujo meta#long post#stone ocean#stardust crusaders#diamond is unbreakable
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hii heEeey! <3 i'm the anon who's in love with u and ur sexy brain <33 i'm gonna panic jsksks i have a lot of things i wanna tell you and talk about that if i were to put it in one ask, it's gonna be so so long UgH😭 for now, imma store them in a folder inside my mind and try my best to not forget them bUT ANYWAY. i love the new theme!! 😻😻 and that racist bitchass is so stupid, what a waste of time and space they are!!! 😤 it was soul satisfying how you roasted them though😌 ialsomayhavefallendeeperinlovewithyouseeingyougooffonsomeonelikethatmadememalfunctionthatwasveryattractiveofyouplskissme HHHHHHHHh
okaY so i don't really believe in astrology that much, i just see it as for fun but i kinda do but don't (guess my sun lmao) and my knowledge on it is very limited and basic so reading your analysis got me giddy cause i feel like i'm learning more from you and about you ehEhEHe. now i'm curious >< i wanna know what you think of me jsksjsjs. i'm a libra sun, sagittarius moon, pisces rising, mercury in libra too, venus in virgo, and mars in capricorn. i know nothing about birth charts but tbh when i saw mine i was like uhhh :////// LMAO NAKSSKS
oh my gooood, i also have to ask you, do you know cusp signs??? part of the reason why i don't believe in astrology that much is bcs of my birth date, that sometimes it's under libra or virgo (i remember u said ur least fav air sign is libra and u don't like virgos damn i'm not winning ur heart huh😭😭😭) like for example, i'm looking at a daily horoscope and i try to find mine, and it has dates too, sometimes it'll say until sept blah blah to sept 22 for virgos so then that means i'm a libra??? since sept 23 is the start of libra is what they're saying, but other times it'll say it's until 23 for virgos so i'm not a libra but a virgo????? it's just so confusing that i feel like i don't belong JWKSKSJW but from what google said it's what they call a cusp sign, when uhh it's in the process of transitioning from one sign to another or something something i really dunno like where the hell do i even put myself in *sobs*. this time though my birth chart result said libra so lemme just roll with it ig :"))
lastly, look at this haechan vid and suffer with me ;-; https://twitter.com/odetolhc/status/1467137355953819648?t=eNf-X0ikjGz0njFmoiS6hw&s=19
omg omg omg okay here we go fjgsdkl hi my love :D (just so you're aware, i officially give you permission to send me as many asks as YOU need to get everything out that you want to say!! you're literally such a cutie and i find your excitement v endearing fdsgkjd)
thank you my love :D i'm glad you like the theme !!!!!! and also . yeah they're pathetic. it's unfortunate that people are like that but it's more unfortunate that they're allowed to interact with people ://
but DJFGSDLK THANK YOU IM HAPPY YOU LIKED IT OMG tbh it always surprises me when i like. Do Things Like That, like. go off on people like i did, and then other people like. encourage it 😭😭😭 it's a little bit maddening to my libra rising AND just the general personality trait i have of . not rly acknowledging hate or doing things like that like. i was p much a "good vibes only" type of person for a whiiiile bc i didnt wanna get like . painted as Mean or whatever but now i'm like. fuck it. and ....ppl.......enjoy it........ which means i could have been doing this all along 😭 so all the times i chose "peace" I COULD HAVE BEEN GOING FOR THE JUGULAR !!!! DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH JOY THAT WOULD BRING ME !!! *heavy sigh* anyway . yeah dfjgshdklj but i'm very happy you don't think i'm like . a bad person or anything ig !!! makes me very relieved :D
and omg my love i wish i'd . been able to answer your chart reading earlier bc i think i had more energy earlier fjdgshdjk but i will try my best regardless!!!!
NO MORE ASTROLOGY ASKS!!!
okay i'm gonna try and keep it as. concise yet informative as possible bc now im in a small time crunch w a deadline for today fgjsfdlk but here i GO
libra sun - you could either be very "mediator" / "peace maker" in behavior or could go the absolute opposite direction and play "manipulative puppet master." virtually nothing else in your chart suggests the latter, nor does anything about your demeanor, so don't worry. you might, as the peace maker, be more likely to compromise your own comfort for the sake of "keeping the peace" -- do not do that. do not do that. you deserve better than to be uncomfortable in situations because people keep disrespecting you!!! that also, quite honestly, might play a role in why you find it so attractive when i go off on people–your sun sign is the opposite of my sun sign and we are pretty contrasting in vibes fdkjgslf so it might in a way inspire you because you may think i have the voice, candor, ability/power, and freedom to stand up for myself in ways you might like to?
pisces rising - i mentioned this in another reply to an anon's chart, but you might have the habit of idealizing yourself to an extent? hiding parts of yourself you don't believe fit the image you're attempting to portray to others around you and pisces risings can be described by some people as kind of daydreamy, like a person whose head is always in the clouds !!!
libra sun AND pisces rising - these are both placements/signs that aren't always the best at speaking up for themselves, so the fact that these two work so closely in your chart might suggest that you at times might feel like a pushover in some regards and more passive where maybe you might not actually want to be.
libra mercury - mercury is the planet that kinda rules communication and libra mercuries can really go a number of ways, i think. i think more evolved libra mercuries (evolution in the sense that i am using it means the actual process of you growing up as an individual and developing and coming more into your own/finding your voice) can be excellent communicators; diplomatic and respectful, patient, well-spoken, and in a sense can be pretty good, like, flatterers ig? yeah fjgsdjlk your libra mercury could also make you an excellent communicator who doesn't exactly use your abilities for good; you might be very good at manipulation and deceptive language and behavior; be mindful of this if it concerns you!! however, i would say that unevolved libra mercuries might have a really hard time finding their voice because of their tendency to hold back slightly and compromise on expressing themselves for the "peace keeping" aspect of the situation. do not do that!!!! speak your piece!!!!!!!!
libra mercury AND libra sun - i saw a tiktok like yesterday that made such excellent sense when i actually thought about it, and it said that people whose mercury and sun placements are in the same sign (like you!!) tend to be very good at expressing themselves!! which to me makes perfect sense bc like . in keeping w the example ive used a while today, your libra sun, your core/essence/energy, is speaking one language. when it comes to expressing yourself, your libra sun is passing that to your mercury sign so it can handle the communication part; because your mercury is also in libra, this means there won't be any need to "translate" in a sense because your libra mercury speaks the exact same language as your libra sun! (fun fact: i also have my sun and mercury in the same sign dfkjsghl i am an aries sun and mercury which . might explain to some extent why being Assertive and Sticking Up For Myself feels so cathartic when i do it dfsgjfsfldj)
sagittarius moon - i mentioned this in i think another reblog, but again, sag moons are the least "fiery" of the fire signs to me!! quite honestly, they're more of an airy fire sign to me i think in that they're very free spirits and really value independence and the space to explore and have adventures and try new things!! your sag moon might make you a little surprised at times and it might have a little more fire to it than your libra sun/mercury and pisces rising might expect, but it's probably, in a way, protecting you from some sort of stressor you might not be fully cognizant of. i feel like specific triggers that might upset you most are when people are being unfair (a lot of libras have like . diplomatic, fair energy; my libra rising def plays a factor in how i handle conflict in a similar way), specifically some form of biased, if you feel as though someone just Keeps Starting Problems and therefore making your internal role of "peace maker" kick into overdrive, and from your sag moon, you might react very strongly to feeling controlled or trapped in some sense.
capricorn mars - i don't know much of Anything about capricorns but words that do come to mind are Methodical, Logical, and Driven. you might really attempt to rationalize and justify your anger and truly make sure that if you're gonna raise a fuss, it's something worth raising a fuss about !!!
capricorn mars AND libra sun/mercury - these signs could actually be pretty harmonious, i think!! libra is fair and wants to know the whole story, with an unbiased opinion, and capricorn wants to do just that; gather every bit of evidence, analyze it carefully, and then read a bitch dfgkjsdlk you might be the type of person who finds yourself compiling "receipts" against people and situations and maybe even keeping them very organized in a way that makes sense to you. think about it, in a sense, like your libra sun is the big CEO of the company that is you. your libra mercury is kind of your libra sun's right hand man in that your mercury sends out all the official emails and statements/handles the correspondence. think of your capricorn mars as, like, maybe HR...if that makes sense. when there are issues that you feel need to be handled, your capricorn mars HR department is gonna be in charge of getting all the facts and analyzing the situation and bringing said info to your libra sun, who looks over the evidence, makes a final judgment, then gives your libra mercury the go ahead to send out an official statement!! you have the potential to be a very well oiled machine when these three signs come into play with each other!!!
virgo venus - gonna be 100% real with you, my love; i do not know very much about virgo venuses but i will do my best!!!! if i'm not mistaken, virgo in venus isn't actually a super harmonious placement? venus is about peace and love and things like that, whereas virgo is typically more...logical? i would say? it's a far more grounded sign than venus would usually like to have in her orbit djsfgkld think of it kind of as venus being the happy child who just wants to daydream and have good vibes, but virgo is like . the parent who never entertains what they believe to be venus's "nonsense" and would be the type of parent to ruin venus's daydreaming and dream world; for example: the type of parent who would tell their child santa isnt real just to "be realistic" even though their child might be devastated 😭😭😭 virgos do seem as if they could be attracted to intelligence in a sense; wittiness, cleverness, etc. (this...also might play a factor in why you find it attractive when i tell people off dfjkgskdk) and might want to be in a partnership with people they believe they can stand to learn something from!! virgos may be very critical when developing affections–they might be more prone to getting "the ick" from people or just having what others may consider Very High Standards–but once they're in love, they're usually there to stay !!! virgos are very loyal lovers and can be very protective of their lover and might really like to be in a partnership where, again, they can learn from one another, but also protect each other. virgo in venus might really benefit from a more patient lover because they might initially have a hard time expressing/coming to terms with their feelings!! (me: i don't know much about this!! also me: says A Lot)
libra sun AND virgo venus - you might be kind of a serial crusher in that people catch your eye frequently, but because of your virgo venus, you might find a reason to stop liking them quickly jfgfsljgdh think, again, of virgo as a parent in a sense? and libra is the child in the grocery store asking their parent if they can get X treat and every time they ask, virgo says no quite snappily and might leave libra feeling a little stuck and frustrated, as they don't feel as if the situation is fair. this could manifest in, like, you criticizing yourself for repeatedly losing interest in people and wondering to yourself why you're "difficult to please" but i don't think there are any inherent issues with having high standards for yourself!! you might just want to make sure the standards you have are reasonable expectations for people to meet, otherwise you might not have very happy relationships!!
OKAY ummmm about cusps; i don't know !!! i think that personally i would be more inclined to go with whichever placement resonates best, which is most likely going to be your actual calculated sun sign! cusps are kinda wishy washy so i don't rly know much about them :((( i'm sorry abt that, my love!!! (also don't worry; you do not give me virgo (derogatory) vibes at all dfhglksjdf and i DO LIKE LIBRAS!!! they're just not my favorite air sign but i like . have actual reasons to like libras!!! i only placed aquarius higher on the list because....quite frankly, i am not sure why but i repeatedly find myself drawn to aquariuses, and they also seem to be drawn to me dfghjslk)
aaaand last but certainly not least: haechan is going to make me scream at the top of my lungs. he's so . he's so PRECISE like he's SO talented oHHhHhhhH my god he's so in control of himself that is insane to me im gonna scream oh my god i'm gonna cry and have a meltdown perhaps!!!!!!!
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I recently just found your art (im loving and drowning in all of it)
Wanted to ask have you ever thought about the seal in which demise was kept in durring SS. I been replaying it and kind of thinking about, well, if Hylia created the seal, she made that sealscape/spiritprison(?) a very peaceful environment. Calming clear skys reflected in still waters. This only changes once the battle w Demise starts (makes me think the space is just very reflective/responsive of prisoners mind/emotions)
Anyhow! If Hylia was the one to make the seal what do you think she had in mind, how she was feeling ? W ur ship art of them in mind, I kinda get mercy vibes despite what she'd eventually have to do to him, but not wanting to put him through anymore pain? A sad goodbye moment. A sort of final resting place, maybe this space was an origin point of their first encounter w one another and its a recreationof it? Id love to see your ideas/character feels interpretations. Also sorry if this was asked or talked about previously im v new here ;v;
that is a very interesting thought, and not far actually from my plan for “destiny”, im really glad people seem to enjoy my art, even when its shippy or not fanart at all :D
tho i am not sure how to answer this since, well, its a bit difficult, even knowing how everything in the story will go, i cant decide really. is it an intentionally “nice” place for a prison ? is in reality much more of a torture having to be there all alone ? was he even conscious in it ? was his very being scattered into a thousand pieces within it ? was he even able to feel any pain ? or was he in constant pain trying to recollect himself ? how does one know what happens to someone that gets sealed ? it always seems like whenever someone is sealed, they come back more ful of anger and hatred ? in what kind of hell does one get send when they get sealed away ?
it might seem silly thinking so much about a game and its lore but i cant help it, i always wonder what must have happened to make the villains a villain ? people arent born evil ... and i just cant accept the answer of someone just “being” evil without an explanation ??
well im writing a story about that. in some part at least, i know its taking me a long time but this fancomic has taken me a lot of thought and work already even if you haven seen much of it yet, i will both explore the relationship between hylia demise and others, but a big part will be demises origin, i really hope you guys are going to like it sinceim very invested into everything SO i am not sure how much you know so ill talk a bit about the end of “destiny”, so SPOILERS FOR DESTINY AHEAD:
i had made a post about demises origin/backstory a while back, crudely summarized bc i just typed it out to remember it properly, im not sure if you have seen it but it shouldnt be too far back somewhere on my blog if you want to take a look, tho things will still change, its base will stay the same, im leaving out pretty the whole story, so maybe, i hope, you will still be interested in reading it once i get it all drawn out, or maybe not, im not the one to decide that ..
ANYWAY at the end of it, hylia will be ordered one last time to finally do her duty and seal demise away, she will try to talk to her gods that there is another way to solve everything, but they will not listen. hylia then refuses to do as she was ordered, even tho demise had warned her not to do that and that she instead should just go and kill him; if hes dead he at least wont have to get to know whatever happens to someone that gets sealed, hed much prefer never finding out; but she is too determined to give up the thought of another possibillity and thus the gods have to take things into their own hands and take control over her, forcing her to watch as her body acts on their will and not hers anymore.
there will be a brief moment where demise gets to free her of them, since in that last fight hes much less fighting for his own survival, which he knows is impossible, but for hylia not to die from being in the gods control for too long. besides, he very much wants to fight the gods themselves, but he wants to do that with only him involved and them, and not someone else; thus he regains his previous, pure form from back when he was just like her, only for a short moment tho and in the end he will be sealed away by the gods acting through hylia. while she dies after the deed is done, hes sealed away yes, but although shattered, not quite dead yet, and his hatred towards the gods will burn much stronger now than it ever had before, not just because of what they did to him and his world but to her now as well.
WELL THEN that was alot and probably not even a glimpse as interesting as i hope it will be in the finished comic, with all the context in all regards.
i apologize for the length of this, and this possibly unwated and uninteresting spoiler part about this damn story that i cant get out of my head anymore. (also for .. the typos .. im writing this at 1am and it took me like an hour bc i just didnt know how to write it out)
sorry, i just care alot about this.... too much probablyヾ(*′○`)ﾟ.+:｡ﾟ☆
#ganondoodles answers#i cant get my thoughts in order today sorry#i probably said alot of things that are pretty weird as a response#forgive me ;__;
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I would like to know when you started drawing and where your passion for fanart started 😊
Oh FUCK dude i did not see this i’m so fucking sorry this is so late 😭 damn you, tumblr, for not fucking notifying me!! Anyway buckle up this is gonna be much longer than you asked for <3
Honestly ive kinda been drawing all my life! I hope that doesnt sound dumb cuz obviously almost everyone drew pictures when they were kids, but i know that it’s been a consistent hobby for me since i was little. By the time i was in 3rd grade I was hoarding notebooks to draw in. Cuz that’s something fun about me: i had a real huge habit of drawing in things that werent sketchbooks. Through middle school and beyond I did buy/receive sketchbooks, but I started out with various kinds of notebooks. One I had from like 2nd grade was like a hardcover, stationary-type notebook that I drew cats in lol, and I have 2 velvet lisa frank notebooks from 3rd grade. In high school and college I had a really bad habit of drawing in the margins on my notes and on handouts the teacher/professor would give. Those classes where the prof just prints out all the notes beforehand and gives them to you to follow along? Oh man, I spent so many classes barely listening while I drew on them! I also used to draw on my physics homework and tests and sometimes I even got extra credit for them (thank you jeff :D). I actually have a folder of various drawings I’ve kept from that 8yr time period and a lot of them are on classwork 😂
Obviously, I’ve been doing a lot of digital art lately, which I’m sure is what u were more curious about rather than the shit about drawing on my homework. I got a surface pro as a graduation gift in 2016 bc prior to that i had a wacom tablet and a janky ass laptop, so the gift was kinda a 2-in-1: i can do schoolwork AND art easily! i like digital art a lot and honestly im still learning new things abt it every time i draw. I use Leonardo currently (i’ll skip that story) but I started out doing digital art on sketchfu WITHOUT the wacom tablet in maaaaybe 2012??? 2011??? does anyone on this site remember sketchfu? Honestly couldnt even tell u how i found that site hahah the internet was just full of wonders back in the day. RIP sketchfu. Once i got the tablet tho some time later i used sketchfu still (i think) but also gimp and krita i believe.
Oh i suppose I should mention that i took art all four years of highschool and also minored in it in college! So it’s something i did academically as well as for fun. I keep thinking about going to art school for realsies but idk. I’m already $$$ in debt from my first degree i dont feel like adding to that 😅😓
Ok now for the second part of your question: I’ve also pretty much always done fan art! Ive never really been one for OC’s, EXCEPT for the self-insert superhero double life “comics” i wrote about a poodle named Sassy when i was in third grade. And then the knock off “comics” i wrote at a later time which honestly it was weird that i did a knock off of my own thing rather than just adding them to the original or making it a spin off with at least one of the og characters. Cuz it wasnt a spin off!! But anyway there wasnt really much to any of these characters; i just needed vessels to get my weird ideas out.
So anyway yeah most of what ive ever drawn has been fan art or self portraits, because its just easier for me to take characters that already exist and bend them to my will (artistically). Well excluding art assignments in school i guess because i would usually have to draw something specific and therefore not something self indulgent. But yeah ive drawn for lots of fandoms like the earliest i remember is warrior cats. Then theres things like pokemon and warriors and random other books i read thru middle school (i used to read a LOT but now im practically illiterate); spn, sherlock, and marvel through high school; and then marvel and bttf thru the end of hs and beyond. Idk i also have always loved looking at other peoples fan art and so im like “shit i wanna do that too!”. Tho i will say marvel was my biggest fandom and the one i had the longest interest in, so that was probably where the passion REALLY came from cuz I was drawing marvel stuff for such a long time (tho not posting shdjsk u have to trust me), but ive been doing fan art forever :)
(Of course, a lot of the fan art i was making prior to recently was drawn in lined notebooks or on homework sheets or what have you, and I wasn’t posting really any of it, but i was still making it and a good chunk of it still exists. Oh i should also mention most of it was with pencils or ballpoint pens like i wasnt doing anything too fancy. There was some digital art in the highschool-college time frame but it also really wasnt…much. Honestly i barely posted any of it here but I know some of it’s on deviantart)
I cant pinpoint the exact time I started getting more “serious” about my art in general, but i know the first pandemic lockdown gave me more free time and i was less stressed about schoolwork so i just kinda had a good outlet. (Tho i will say that prior, I had been in a life drawing club for a short while, and i had also been working on a personal sketchbook project that had me pretty ~inspired~ to do art. Also i watched twin peaks around this time and it inspired a lot of Feelings and i was making funky collages and other art pieced that were sometimes related to that. Some of those are on deviantart)
Honestly I think the Big thing with my digital art was coincidentally getting back into BTTF the summer of the 35th anniversary bc the fandom here was THRIVING and i was like “oh shit wait i want to contribute!” But as i kept drawing i kept wanting to improve and that leads us to right now where im constantly trying new things (whether subtle or obvious) and challenging myself to do full body drawings with different poses, and doing screencap redraws and what have you for various reasons (backgrounds, proportions, pose, etc)
So yeah :) Basically I’ve been doing fan art forever (I didnt even get into all the mediums ive tried but that’s another conversation bc this is already so long and convoluted) and it’s kinda coincidental that ive suddenly really gotten back into it and have improved dramatically in such a short time. Thank you so much @rovermcfly for the ask and again im really sorry you had to wait so long for a response! Stupid tumblr
#rovermcfly#signed sealed delivered#THANK U SM I HOPE U ENJOY KY RAMBLING :)#id love to ramble more if theres anything else u’d like to hear about my art journey :) bc i know this is all over the place lmfao#i will say some periods of life were a bit more inspired than others and thats bc i like will not draw if im too stressed#bc likely if im too stressed im too tired. see: a few weeks ago when that job was draining my life force
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toffee!
hehe glad i could make you laugh, oooh that sounds awesome! yeah id love to be tagged it sounds great :)
YES the differences are so fucking weird. like, they do know they're the same age right? i feel like its just an exagguration of how much the persons role in the group matters, like we see chan being held up as such a mature, old leader while jungkook who is literally the same age, is still babied etc. like enha hyung line is basically the same age (if a bit younger) as chenle and jisung but somehow the rules are different?? as you point out, still legal but still bizarre. hehe yeah, i mean where else are we going to rant? quora lol. mmm, hopefully more people can just write less smut abt people who are barely adults
ah, no prob it didnt take long. yeah i think thats right (i keep forgetting you know my url lol) mmhmm :( i think if that happened irl there would be some major trauma going on. knock wood it never happens to you or me lol (/hj)
hehe same! oooh glad Redemption For Cheese was realised! yess we cant rllycomplain that theyve written/produced too much good music lol. yeah, ive dragged him into being a stay so *dusts hands off* mission accomplished. mmm yeah, they tend to have a certain vibe but tbh it couldve worked if they were any other group but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ ahh ur one step ahead of me on the stages of listening to ssick i think, still not convinced but thats okay! hehe, it had to be said. yesss the itch in the back of my brain is very satisfied by sorry i love you, felixs vocals deserve to be appreciated! (side note i feel like hes trying to sing more like his speaking voice, sorta husky, but tbh i wouldnt be mad if he sang like in glow, his sweet honey vocals made my life lol. but i think ive heard him say he doesnt like singing like that cos it makes his normal voice less husky, so what can you do)
> YES SOMEONE SAID IT. seungmin rap KING, he sped thru that rap like it was nothing, he deserves more rap lines. i do like how they gave minho some melodic rap lines this comeback, my guy deserved to show off those skills that made him not be eliminated (flashbacks to stay collectively wanting to murder jyp) and we already know changbin can sing, my man murdered masked singer. hyunjin can obviously sing as can jisung and felix, and i want to hear chan rap more! i feel like he started as part of 3racha (as a rap unit not producing) and then just became a vocalist (which im fine with, but it could be nice to hear him flex his rapping skills) and was partially replaced by hyunjin. anywayyy
back to album talk. lmaooo sad music to twerk to PERFECTLY describes silent cry. yes secret secret is and will always be, a masterpiece. hehe glad i could make you laugh :) i just felt like they have similar vibes. putting off skz stuff bc of not having time to cry IS the kpop stan life summarised. oh my beloved track, red lights. ahh thats okay, we can have different opinions, but by god the lyrics are *chefs kiss*. *banging on table* TWISTED AU TWISTED AU TWISTED AU. yess id love to see ur take on it! sdfghjkl it would have been glorious
no no! not stupid, just able to predict my brainwaves. ooooh thats so cool! makes me want to go there (wherever there is lol) yeah the waves are pretty good here, but none of my familys a surfer, so we dont rlly enjoy the full potential lol. YES moving on to gone away, it is indeed a heartwrenching track, but the vocals and the bloody key change? makes me want to brave being sad just to listen to it. mmm yeah, good point :( i feel like ive just gotten used to overthinking so much so that it doesnt matter what mood im in, ill do it anyway, so might as well just do what i feel like doing anyway.
yeah i think ur right! it is quite comforting knowing that all the tracks will get the love they deserve. i feel like also people assume kpop is just one genre which is utter bs. there are so many different vibes and feels and songs, i couldnt get into kpop (of which i thought only the bright cheerful present day bts stuff existed smh) until i heard gods menu so... idk where i was going with this but yeah. :)
YES FUCK YG, theyre literally on the brink of being kicked out of the big three and they are holding their salvation hostage without letting them do ANYTHING. idek what thought process goes thru their minds but arghhh its so infuriating. yess lisa's cb will be awesome but ot4 is the gold standard here.
hehe, glad u could get to this point. no no! u dont sound like a cult member at all lol yeah, i loooove some of their songs but the whole 23 members thing is getting to me. thats prob a common problem with nctzens but what can i say? im a simple girl with a limit to how many korean boys i can give my money to. atm im just trying to get into ateez and finish memorising enhypen's faces. also kard is kinda sucking me into their fandom atm, as well as eric name lol. ah what can you do? ooh thats good!
hehe i love it too! its exactly like online penpals, that was rlly well put. aww ty! hmm im okay, recovering from a bad case of rsv so thats fun. im doing okay mentally, starting therapy soon (after having to convince my mother that its not just smth i can brush off). physically i wont go into, basically i should be doing stretches to help but they dont completely fix it so my lazy ass doesnt do them, plus i got told recently im going to be stuck with this condition for the rest of my life so thats fun! ah, before you type smth dw abt me ill be fine. the weather atm is cloudy but warm, its been raining on and off today which is good for the garden. uhh i just finished reading sunburnt veils and im in the middle of prom theory which is rlly good. ummm ive got a concert tonight? that i may or may not be able to sing in (bc of the whole rsv thingo) and uhhhh idk. my dog is cute? im drinking tea rn? ive got a school dance coming up?
wbu? hows ur day going, how are you? whats the weather like on ur end? done anything interesting lately? found smth that makes you rlly happy? just any random thing youve been dying to tell someone?
no no! dont apologise, i love these exchanges. i think im happy to continue them for a long time :) on the other hand, if you get tired of them, feel free to just not answer at any time. goodness gracious this was a long ask haha hope it isnt too annoying
<3 w.a. 🐺
sorry it took me a bit to reply, i was fixing my theme ;n;
yeah, i figured it was because of the roles too. my friends and i still get taken aback when 3rd gen idols are the same age as 4th gen ones. in my head it doesn't add up sometimes. PLS THE RANT AT QUORA SKJDK tbh tho it's just going to be normalized as the years pass? esp that the boys are growing older and the amount of explicit fics will just increase. i might have to start blocking tags.
i had to look up the previous ask to remember what we were talking about xd i hope the events in champagne problems never happens to anyone. realistically, it probably happens a lot. damn i really won't wish that pain on anyone.
dragging your brother into being a stay i whEEZED JFKSA additional noeasy music enthusiast o.o and ALL I CAN SAY WITH YOU GUSHING ABT FELIX IS AHA WHIPPEEEED OML can't blame you tho, i also want to hear felix sing more in other shades (if that makes sense HAHA) i really hope they'll do the role exchange in the next comeback :( or like in the near future bc i know they can do it :( the day i hear seungmin rapping it i will respectfully pass away. minho was given more lines this comeback thank fUCK i could rmb my irl being vocal abt her frustration. i don't get why minho barely has center time/lines in title tracks??? like the line distribution in the past eras just made me ???? if seventeen can balance lines with 13 members why cant a group of 8 do the same? moving on. i haven't watched the stray kids show simply bc i don't want to cry HAJS but i've seen clips. imagine if skz debuted without minho and felix?!?!? i rmb another irl catching bias feels towards changbin bc of the masked singer only to find out that the man's a rapper. i love how skz's vocals were highlighted this comeback :c there were a lot of mellow tracks! i find it cute when chan sings/raps bc it gets kinda obvious that he's a foreigner? the accent (im not even sure if it's the accent) it just shows. "putting off skz stuff bc of not having time to cry IS the kpop stan life summarised." CORRECT.
abt the twisted au o.O i'll inquire my irl if she wants to write it or not. if she doesn't want to, i'll do it. i miss writing twisted aus <3___<3 and i also miss going to the beach with my friends :' ) but it's starting to get cold here and i don't think i'll be able to enjoy the beach as much as i would if i went beaching in the summer. so maybe next summer? gone away really has an sm-ballad vibe. the thing about skz being a self-producing group, their songs don't sound like typical jype songs? and i just appreciate that bc in all honesty im not a fan of jyp groups at all. PLS the overthinking. i wish i could mute overthinking.
anyone who assumes kpop is just one genre obv hasn't listened to a single track. if kpop was just one genre why do i like some tracks more than the others??? oh you've only recently become a kpop stan? tbh im not a fan of the bright songs of bts either. i liked their older ones *chefs kiss* really matched high school vibes. yg has good artists and they're just wasting the talent ~.~ that strategy they have will get tiring eventually. people will stop waiting on blackpink and move on to newer more active groups ://
HAHAHAH yeah the 23 members is pretty overwhelming! it was the reason i didn't bother stanning before quarantine started. i don't regret stanning tho, met my ult bias in that group <3___<3 i don't really purchase albums unless i like the tracks xd ohhh getting into ateez just in time for the comeback! let me know what you think about them! i was fond of them at some point but grew out of it. good luck with memorizing enhypen! it took me a while to distinguish to people there XD i haven't checked out kard yet but chan plays their songs during lives and they're sexc hype music me likey *u*
i had to look up rsv im sorry. i'm glad you're recovering! please rest more and don't stress yourself out. bro i wish i could go to therapy too bc i have weird issues i can't justify and i need a professional to tell me what's the reason behind it. stuck with what condition btw? what happened? i'm sorry in case i just forgot. yesterday was a bit rainy for me too :(( it's not the type of rainy that makes me anxious so B) oh concert! good luck and i hope you'll be able to sing but i also don't think it's best for you rn :c what's your dog's breed? and yes i just finished drinking tea too. AAAAA i miss school dances :(( the last one i was supposed to have was cancelled bc of covid.
i was less productive today and i'm teetering between being mentally stable and becoming a hermit again. i'm anxious with a lot of things atm so like : D not the best state. today it was a bit sunny but not hot hot which was nice. i changed my theme today bc i couldn't wait for sept. 1st. and no i haven't found anything that makes me happy HAHAHA shit like that's hard to identify. don't have anything to say too, i'm just thinking about why i'm procrastinating too much atm T_T and i'm listening to this rap song atm and one of the rappers sounded like han.
it isn't annoying! i enjoy the long exchanges but i do admit it takes me awhile to type down a reply. so if i get more busy, it'll prolly take a bit longer for me to reply.
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hi cam, it’s adhd anon. i have kind of a weird question.
for context - after monday’s appointment, my dad tentatively re-gave his consent for the vyvanse. i’m prescribed 40mg, but since i hadnt taken it in two weeks, i took 30mg on tuesday and 30mg this morning (wednesday).
so, i was feeling really horrible this morning before i took the meds (to the extent that i had a meltdown in front of my dad, and he said that i was so unstable that “hospitalization is a real possibility” lmao). i took the vyvanse 30mg at 9:40am (i had been awake since 4:30am for context). around 10am, i calmed down from all the crying, and until around 4pm, i felt pretty great. like i had an unusually positive mindset and was very happy.
and so, i’m really terrified that that was the “euphoria” thing. like the type of thing that makes people abuse vyvanse for recreation.
the internet didnt have a ton of info, but it did say that euphoria highs usually occur at higher doses (and my 30mg dose is medium-low). plus, i’m pretty sure that this ~sudden happiness~ thing has never happened to me before, even when i was taking 40mg - and it wouldn’t just Happen out of the blue, right?
it’s possible that the stimulation from the vyvanse just made me less tired (i didn’t get a lot of sleep last night), and being less exhausted made me feel better - but would that still be considered a prohibited use of the medicine, since it’s supposed to treat my adhd and not my sleep deprivation?
it’s also possible that i just felt good because i released a lot of pent up emotions from crying. it’s happened before that i’ll feel pretty great after crying - but i don’t think a post-cry happiness has ever lasted more than an hour or so.
i think the vyvanse wore off sometime around 3pm (because my ability to initiate tasks and focus on stuff gradually Disappeared around then), and the happiness gradually subsided around 4pm.
and that’s another issue - i took the vyvanse at 9:40am, and it kicked in sometime around 10:30am, and then it lasted not even 5 hours before wearing off around 3pm. and that’s crazy, bc it’s supposed to last 10 to 12 hours. plus, i ate two meals and a snack between 9:30am and 3pm, and eating is supposed to slow my body’s digestion of the vyvanse, making the dose last longer. (it’s hard to tell how long the vyvanse usually lasts since i only started taking it in may, when school was ending, but i do know that during the school year, i felt like it wore off super quickly too.)
i’m wondering if i’m experiencing an emotional crash from the vyvanse right now, or if i’m just returning to my emotional state from this morning. bc i’m like crying and feeling super anxious as i type this out now, lmao.
idk. this is all just so stressful. it’s like - damned if i do take it (bc i might be experiencing an addictive euphoria, and i’m considered high risk for addiction), and damned if i don’t take it (bc i barely fucking function even when i do take it). i’m just so so terrified of getting addicted, but i also don’t want to banned from taking it and lost something that does help my adhd, especially if it turns out that i’m just being paranoid and it’s not actually euphoria.
and i don’t know how i’m supposed to tell anyone this? bc my dad has already threatened to hospitalize me, and i’m scared of my mom’s reaction, and i don’t have an appointment with the psychiatrist until july 9th bc he’s super busy. also, remember how i said that monday’s appointment was supposed to be about ssris? well my dad spent the whole appointment in a screaming match with the psychiatrist, so we never got around to it, so the july 9th appointment HAS to be about ssris, not vyvanse.
and i feel so guilty for wasting my summer? like, this is my last summer before i’m an adult and have to work a full time job. this is my one opportunity to have free time and enjoy life and fucking get better. but i’m wasting it sitting around being sad and anxious and possibly experiencing an addictive vyvanse euphoria. what the fuck.
sorry this kind of got darker than i expected. i hope you’re doing well cam
stop feeling guilty about how you're spending your summer- that's a second dart and second darts don't help anything!
just try to relax a bit. getting meds adjusted can be a very long process. it does sound like the vyvanse helps you (don't worry about the euphoria that's just the dopamine. since you have ahdh you need help with dopamine.) so just keep working with it. i can't help with your dad but it sounds like he just needs to calm down.
take your meds as prescribed and keep reporting back to your doctor how it's going. and july 9th is only a few days away! it's all gonna be ok ❤️
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!!TW!!
-Sexual Harassment
-Overstimulation
Ships:
-Javid
-Jack and Katherine (Platonic)
Davey POV:
Wh- what?
I almost drop my phone from shock.
I take a second and clutch my phone to my chest, squealing like a schoolgirl. I lie on my back and kick my legs in the air excitedly. JACK KELLY ASKED ME OUT.
Wait.
What should I say? Have I left him on read for too long? Does he think I don't like him?? I take a deep breath and respond as carefully as possible...
I'd love to, Jackie :)
Jack :): OHTHANKGOD
Jack :): sry, i just thought you didnt like foods
Then why'd you ask me out??
Jack :): i just sorta went on atopierloy
Jack :): *artoupliot
Jack :): *AUYPOLIT DAMMIT
Jack :): FUCK
Autopilot?
Jack :): yes. Autoplit
Jack :): dammit
Haha! Anyways, what day/time?
Jack :): duz sat. at around 2pm gud?
Sure! Can't wait.
Jack POV:
Holyshitholyshitholyshit.
I'm goin' on a date wit' Davey!
I start stimming super hard. It takes me a bit to calm down and my cheeks hurt from smiling so hard.
I scroll to Kath's contact.
Kath
Kath
Kath
Kath
Kath
Kath >:3: jesus christ, jack wtf do you want, it's like, 2am.
I asked Davey out
Kath >:3: WHAT?? I THOUGHT YOU SAID HE PROLLY DOESNT LIKE DUDES???
I THOUGHT SO TO???
Kath >:3: 1. You're fucking illiterate I swear
Kath >:3: 2. How did it go??
1. Rude (but trew)
2. HE SAID YES
Kath >:3: omg that's awesomeeee!!
Kath >:3: what r u gonna wear?
Idrk
Kath >:3: I'm coming over rn.
What??
Ur joking right?
Kath
KATHERINE??
I hear a knock on my apartment door. I open it to find, you guessed it, Kath.
"Jesus, you get here quick, dontcha?"
"You underestimate my speed walking strength."
"Fair enough" I chortle.
"So," says, dropping a giant, heavy scrapbook on my bed with a thump. "What're you doing for the date?" she flips through pages, very determined.
Kath is a fashion major and is planning to minor in journalism. She's quite talented at both.
"We're gonna get froyo and then watch some kinda cheesy romcom I guess?"
Katherine, I shit you not, flips through 20 pages in 2 seconds and comes to a collage of outfits she was looking for.
"So," she turns the book towards me and starts pointing things out, "what would be best for this type of date is a simple, comfortable outfit, preferably a cooler one, with a jacket just in case." She starts rambling on and on about certain things I don't understand. I'll just let the genius do all the work.
Suddenly, I realize something, "Kath," she looks up, "I don't have ANY of these clothes. What am I gonna do?"
She smiles evilly, "Jack Francis Kelly, are you ready to go on a shopping spree?"
*Timeskip bc jfc I'm so tired*
Kath POV:
"Come on out"
Jack walks out, clearly embarrassed, but looking amazing!
"Wowww." I drawl, "If I wasn't a lesbian, I'd tap that."
"Seriously Kath?" he gives me a look.
I smile mischievously, "Anyway, I definitely think this is THE outfit."
What Jack is wearing:
📷
📷
"Thank GOD!" he sighs, we've been lookin' through thrift stores for HOURS now."
"Thank god for Goodwill, right?" I chuckle a bit.
"Yep!" Jack says.
We pay for our things and walk out of the store, Jack trails behind me a bit, looking at his phone.
"Shit!" he suddenly exclaims, "I forgot my wallet in the dressing room!" he runs back inside.
Suddenly, someone whistles and says, "Damn, you look good! Why dontcha smile for us, sweetheart? I bet you'll look so much better." Terrified, I walk back only to bump into another man.
"Aw, leave her alone, Morris, you clearly don't know how to treat a woman." he grabs my arm, "How's about we get away, princess?"
"Hey, Oscar, she was mine foist!"
I try and yank my arm away but to no avail.
"Please, guys, I'm not interested."
"Why?" Morris's face turns sour, "We'se not good enough for you?"
"No, it's just that I'm not into men."
"Well..." Morris says with an evil glint in his eye, "I bet I can change that."
He lunges towards me and grabs me away from Oscar.
"Woah, Morris, I don't think we should go this far, after all, she says she's not into guys and we should respect tha-"
"Shaddup, Oscar you bonehead!" Morris shouts.
I start getting overstimulated because of my sensory issues and start to shut down. I try to cover my ears, but Morris still has a hold on me, restricting my movement. I squeeze my eyes tightly, trying to distract myself from all the noise.
Oscar seems to notice this, "Morris! Somethin's wrong, I'm serious!"
"Yeah right!" Morris says sarcastically.
I open my eyes a little to see Oscar rushing towards Morris, just about ready to punch him, when-
"HEY! GET AWAY FROM HER!"
Jack.
Thank god.
I feel myself being pulled away from Morris and into a pair of strong arms. I also feel headphones slip over my ears, and things are a lot quieter. For that second, I just breathe in a familiar scent and try to calm down.
I feel Jack let go of me, and I open my eyes just in time to see him punch Morris right in the nose.
Ooh, that's gotta hurt.
He goes to attack Oscar as well, but I grab ahold of his shoulder.
"Jack, wait..." I say soft, but stern, "he didn't do much. He saw what he was doing wrong and tried to help me."
Jack's face is still red with anger, but he nods and grabs my hand, walking back to the car.
By the time we get back to his apartment, I've calmed down enough to not need my headphones anymore.
Jack makes us some Mac n Cheese as I flip through Netflix movies to watch.
"How does Les Mis sound?" I shout to him.
"Great!" he shouts back.
(A/N):
Yes, ik, this chapter isn't exactly Javid, but I thought it might be an interesting chapter, and a way to introduce my Autistic! Katherine hc, as well as SA awareness. Be safe out there!
Love,
Phoenix "Race" Conlon
1043 words
#newsies#fanfiction#javid#coffee shop au#javid fanfic#katherine pulitzer#jack kelly#davey jacobs#college au#fluff#angst#autistic#adhd#nd#neurodivergent
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More than what it seems.
Finally a sunnew fic yeay. I already keep this prompts from so long though and i finally made it into a fic. Yes a platonic sunnew♡ i love how they are being denial for each other. I just love their dynamics! Still amateur but enjoy! Rip grammar btw sorry ahsjshsjshs
Friends. Chanhee and sunwoo are like a pair of shoes. They both go anywhere together. Eats together. Plays together. Shops together. Just anything.
They were friends since middle school even their personality is a whole reversal.
Sunwoo is like the extroverted type of person. He enjoys socializing. He had many friends and back then when he was in school he joins many clubs and he had been chosen as the school president. He was liked by everyone in the school bcs of his chill and kind personality. Meanwhile chanhee is a nerd. He likes to study a lot. He had few close friends. It was all his best frieds. He is like the introverted type. But when he had someone who's close to him, he talks a lot. Chanhee will tell his story from a to z to anyone who he feels close with. And he's the clingy type of person.
As the world commands, sunwoo met chanhee. they clicked for each other. Being friends since middle school until now, the sophomore year of college. Even for now, they lived together because their parents said they should save money and its better for them to live together. They grew from the same hometown and went to the same college for now. But different majors.
They acknowledged themselves as bestfriends since babies they said. They fought a lot but they adored each other a lot. It's how their friends describing it. It's like tom and jerry. Their reversal personality got them together. But as time passing by, they both get closer and closer. They never realized, it was never a bestfriends thing to do at this rate.
They got so close since high school. But it's because of their each other's friends introduced them together. So, younghoon is friends with sunwoo and changmin is friends with chanhee. But then changmin and younghoon is in a relationship so chanhee gets to know sunwoo because they will hang out a lot together. But ofcourse chanhee and sunwoo didnt date. They fought instead. They never put a feeling to each other. It's what they said for now. But who knows. They're like pair of shoes. Anything can happen. At first they just love to hang out a lot as 4 after school ends. But ofcourse younghoon and changmin will date separately after that, so sunwoo will hang out with chanhee a lot. As time passing by, they both gets closer. Sharing stories a lot. Calls each other a lot. Doing homeworks together. And crash at each other's house a lot. They play together and have fun together. In high school, these moments of their so called bestfriends things happened one by one.
Someday in their high school days. They went home together because apparantly their homes were in the same neighborhood. They took a bus to home.
"Sunwooya, dont you feel hungry?"
"Ehm little bit, are you hungry? Should we eat?" said sunwoo who sat beside chanhee in the back seat of the bus.
"ehmmm but im sleepy" chanhee said while leans his head to sunwoo's shoulder
"you can sleep for a while, and i will wake you up later"
Sunwoo carresed chanhee's hair and few seconds later,chanhee drown into dreamland.
They ate together in tteokbokki stalls near their houses. And chanhee was so hungry. So he ate messily.
"I know you're so damn hungry but look at your face fool"
Sunwoo took a tissue then held chanhee's chin and wiped his corner of the mouth from tteokbokki's sauce.
Chanhee just smiled with mouth full of tteokbokki he said
"Tfhankfyu sfunwoo"
"Eat first talk later" sunwoo answered
Then they went home walking. Sunwoo's house was like 2 blocks from chanhee's so sunwoo dropped chanhee first at his house. They walked side by side. As the clingy type chanhee was, he put his arm into sunwoo's arm while they walk together. He leaned his head in his arm while walking.
"Im so full right now. Im lazy to walk"
"Its your problem princess. How can you eat 2 portions. Cant believe the tiny body of yours can swallow it" sunwoo slowed his steps following chanhee as chanhee clings into him.
"Right. I didnt believe my stomach either. I guess i have good metabolism" chanhee said proudly
"Yeah whatever you said princess"
They arrived at chanhee's house after few minutes walking.
"See you tomorrow princess i'll pick you up like always dont be late!"
"Yeah, you can go in and wake me up if i dont wake up though haha my mom never wakes me up"
"Eishh your alarms are not functionable enough i think."
"You're my alarm though, you always goes to my room in the morning and wakes me up. My mom never does that bcs she said i must responsible enough but yeah it's hard to wake up in the morning haha pls wake me up okay dont leave meee for school pleaseee"
"Alright alright princess i'll brag into your house and wake you up" as sunwoo carressed chanhee's hair again roughly
"Eishhh my hair got messy!!"
"HAHA thats you deserved! Bye princess i'll go home right now"
"Okay bye"
They always like that. Sunwoo who cares for chanhee. And chanhee who clings into sunwoo.
The freshman year of college got them together again. They lived in the same flat. There were two bedrooms though. But in one room. They never knew they gets closer like a way bit closer for a bestfriends.
Chanhee is scared of the lightnings. When he still lives with his family, every heavy rain came, he will always brags into his sister's room and sleeps there. But it's just until his sister turned into a big girl, she never allows him enter the room.
Chanhee got scared and he cant go to sleep when it's raining. So back then in high school years, when heavy rain happened, chanhee called sunwoo.
Chanhee never thought he would answer though. Then sunwoo answered asking what happen. Chanhee just said he cant stand the thunder. So they would call on the phone until chanhee felt sleepy again. And sunwoo didnt mind. So they did this for couple of times every heavy rains happened.
The same goes for now, but in different situation. They lived together now and chanhee didnt need to call sunwoo.
That night in the first week of freshman year, rain was pouring hard. Chanhee woke up.
"Ugh why is it raining.. eish tomorrow i will get a morning class though"
"Should i go to sunwoo's..."
"But he's tired i cant disturb him.."
"What should i do..."
Chanhee said as he frowned and didnt know what to do.
The sound of the hard lightning is echoed through chanhee's room and he puts his blanket covering whole his body. Then he closed his ears too tightly feeling scared.
Chanhee didnt realize as he hides in his blanket, someone steps in his room and opens his blanket softly. Chanhee who's feeling scared as hell surprised at the person in front of him
"Yah why didnt you wake me up princess?"
"Im scared to disturb you, you seem tired from today's activity so i just-"
"No im okay. You can wake me up anytime fool if the rains pouring hard."
Then the thunder came again, chanhee went to close his ears again with his hands.
"Look at you. Chanhee-ya"
Chanhee didnt hear it and still closed his ears.
Sunwoo takes chanhee's hand from his ears and said
"I can cuddle you if you're okay with that"
"really?"
"Of course" sunwoo nods softly
"Then come here"
Sunwoo gets into the bed with chanhee who feelings scared, he puts his left arm to chanhee's head and pulls chanhee closer. Sunwoo's right hand just carressing chanhee's hair softly as chanhee hugs sunwoo tighter.
"There there..... until when can you not be afraid the lightning princess?"
"I dont know..."
"But for now as long as you with me, im okay" chanhee mumbled softly in sunwoo's chest
sunwoo just smiled and let chanhee sleeps in his arms safe and sound.
Their relationship slowly became as platonic as ever. Not only when the thunder appears, they eventually cuddled almost everyday. It was because chanhee always feels lonely in his room alone and he just went to sunwoo's room and snuggles into him.
In their free time, they always got azy and chill around in the bed..watched dramas or just sleeps all day long. And chanhee always came to sunwoo first and snuggled into him rightaway.
In a one fine day, on saturday night, they didnt go anywhere just chillin around in their flat eating popcorns while watching movies. They were both in chanhee's room. Chanhee who leaned his head to sunwoo's shoulder while sunwoo ate the popcorns and they both covered in blanket.
They often cuddled around like that in a free time. It seems they were comfortable and enjoying it.
"Oh please chanhee dont play horror movies"
"But i havent watched this."
"No you cant. You know i cant watch orror movies right pls dont"
"Its okay you have me anyway. Just cling into me"
They ended watching horror movie and as chanhee said, sunwoo was scared as hell and keep screaming. Chanhee laughed and told sunwoo for countless times that he must shut up. Sunwoo clings into chanhee for his dear life.
Chanhee just laughed looking to his best friend like this, he enjoyed this so much. Sunwoo ended hugs chanhee from the side and leans his head to chanhee's chest as he hides from watching the movie. Chanhee who just laughed and smiled all the time, circled his hand to sunwoo's shoulder and goes to his hair to carress it.
"Sunwoo ya, you seem tough and cool but look you're literally a coward for this kind of movie"
"It's scary though!!" said sunwoo who clings into chanhee harder
"Alright alright we move to another movie then" chanhee smiled while hugging the scared sunwoo into his arms tighter
Little did chanhee knew, he seems to start realizing about what this weird feeling that appeared in his heart.
-fin
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