#3. with that being said i think this is actually his 'that's passive aggression' moment
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I wanna see emo Kai being a pervy loser!!
— emo kai being your pervy loser bestfriend to boyfriend!
warnings <3: !smut, kai corrupting reader, !dark and toxic kai, !reader is sweet but a bit of a loser as well, takes place in college, !coquette reader, ddlg themes, !plot twist, kai is a bit of a stalker in this, mentions of other txt members, reader is a crybaby, mentions of smut, actual smut, free use!
a/n <3: i have a feeling ill do better writing these type of fics :3
kai was infatuated with you; from the moment his then only friend yeonjun introduced you to him, and he fears it’s only worsen more and more over time. “so kai this is y/n, and y/n this is kai” yeonjun introduced you both to eachother, “maybe now you can stop clinging onto me” yeonjun half joked hitting kai’s shoulder passive aggressively making the younger wince grabbing his now assaulted shoulder before walking away. you’d immediately frown getting closer to kai before lightly reaching out to massaging his shoulder, “he’s such a dick, im sorry kai” you’d place a light kiss on his forming bruise making kai’s eyes widen in shock as he rapidly bow his head down to you to show his gratitude
“so i was thinking for the project i could go over your house? i’d let you come over mine but my parents said no boys allowed” you’d ask kai with a small frown and kai not being able to say no to you, he’d nod his head rapidly making you smile with a excited clap before you paid attention to your assignment again causing kai to shakes his head, but then panic runs through his head thinking about how you would react once you stepped foot in his room
kai was shocked when you started gasping and oohing over his manga collection, “you like chobits too?” you’d ask carefully pulling the manga out of his shelf with a shy smile, kai still hasn’t warmed up to speaking to you much so he nods. “i always thought i was the only one who liked this type of anime at our school” you’d giggle “hey whenever we can should watch the anime together” you’d suggest and kai sighed in relief at how you seemed to like his bedroom
what he liked most about you was your kindness, your ability to see only the good in people and not being judgmental at all; “so yeonjunnie said i need to stop hanging out with you” you’d pout as you leaped into kai’s bed starling him a bit. “what? what do you mean?” he would ask his heart racing at that comment “yeonjun said you’re weird and off putting and a total loser but i think he’s just full of it! don’t worry i defended you and told him that i’d rather be your friend than his” you’d nod your head making the black haired boy smile down at you
“what are you listening to?” you come up from behind scaring the shit of kai, “holy shit y/n don’t scare me like that!” he would roll his eyes making you giggle an apology. “im listening to yeah boy and doll face by pierce the veil” and you laugh at this, “yeonjun was right you really are an emo loser” making kai roll his eyes once again before he begins to tackle you with aggressive tiggles
valentine’s day rolled around and you were sad to say the least since kai was now where to be seen that day. everyone knew you were pretty but not exactly dateable material yet it sucked being reminded that during special days like these, that was until you were surprised with a stuffed bunny in your locker. you frown your eyebrows gently cradling it into your arms tilting your head at the pink love letter attached to its limps. you being curious you open it kinda shocked but you couldn’t deny it made you blush once you’ve read it. the letter containing dirty things like how you were being watched, how in love this mysterious stalker was with you, how you failed to notice your lacy undergarments including your stockings go missing along with your lip gloss and pink ribbon bows. how pretty you looked asleep during your after school naps in nothing but a crop top and a mini skirt. but what made you turn red the most was the explicit details about wanting to take your virginity. you couldn’t lie you were a bit scared now at how this stalker knew about you still being a virgin but still excited that somebody took an interest to you even if it was a total creep.
you couldn’t deny it to yourself anymore, you were beginning to fall for your bestfriend kai. as the love letters only became more perverted and more frequent you’d begin to imagine it was kai behind all of this. you began to sleep with the thought in your head making it appear in your dreams, you became so obsessed with the idea of kai being your stalker it became the reason why you touched yourself, with needy shameful rubs as you struggled to make yourself orgasm since you really didn’t know how to but you still tried nonetheless. but after all of that trying, you still would cry yourself to sleep because of how guilty you felt to be wishing your bestfriend who has been nothing but sweet to you to be the perv sending you those letters what’s wrong with me?
you began to ignore kai making him secretly angry with you but you didn’t notice, you were too distracted with imagining him to be your stalker and then feeling ashamed of it. you thought of that idea so much you didn’t even connect the puzzle that kai really was your stalker when you opened a very angry letter on the same day kai was angry with you, the letter containing a lot of curse words along with the very violent things your stalker wanted to do to you if you didn’t stop ignoring him making you very confused.
it wasn’t until the later that night you realized the stuffed bunny you were gifted had a camera in its left eye making you flush in embarrassment as you gently tucked it under your pink bed sheets in attempt of the person who you had hoped it was kai to be able to see you sleep better
you eventually got tired of ignoring kai and you missed him so you finally answered his hundreds of text messages and phone calls apologizing and making up some excuse for your behavior sighing in worry as kai immediately forgave you also inviting you over his room for a night of anime binging and video gaming to make up for lost time
you’d tremble at kai shifting behind you placing his hands on top of yours while you carefully held onto his extra ps5 controller in attempt of showing you how to play texas chainsaw massacre; “you also have to stay still to avoid being caught by the family y/n i know it’s a lot to remember but the more you play with me the more you’ll get used to it” kai laughs sheepishly at your pout but you nod nonetheless.
later that night, you begin to drift away to sleep failing to notice your bestfriend kai sitting up behind you violently stroking his shaft with your missing lacy panties trying his best to keep quiet but it was kinda hard to when you were this close to him. eventually you woke up but kai failed to notice seeing how he was clearly busy so you decided to take matters into your own hands and gently turn around racing him latching your tiny (he thought it was tiny) fist around his cock before bringing your lips down on it making him gasp as he opens his eyes to look down at you but he’s so far gone in pleasure he doesn’t say anything. you sigh happily drinking him in your mouth as you begin to rub your pussy through your pajama shorts you couldn’t believe your dream of letting kai use your mouth as he pleases was finally coming true
you’d blush pink as you awake in kai’s arms from last night, seeing him peacefully watch you rest before remembering what happened and immediately feeling guilty for just sucking him off like that without saying anything. “kai? im really sorry for just forcing myself on you like that it was very cruel and you’re my best friend and i shouldn’t have done that it was my first time doing something so sexual and i’m really sorry i don’t know what came over me!” you’d ramble letting tears fall down your face as you hug your bestfriend apologizing over and over again. kai’s eyes soften at your apology before he lightly cradles you into his lap holding you as he whispers, “it’s okay y/n, i know you’re just a little girl and can’t help getting all needy and wanting to use your mouth with me” and you freeze, how does he know that you like that pet name?
you and kai never really spoke about what happened that sleepover, but you do use it as a way to get yourself off. the letters from your stalker getting sweet again but you’re starting to get more grumpy with how the stalker refused to reveal himself. you let out a sigh in frustration and lay down in bed reaching down between your legs rubbing your clit for the nth time that week and begin suckling on your fingers, needly whimpering at the memory of kai telling you how pretty you looked with your mouth full of cock. you let out a weak cry and a kick of your feet at how you failed to cum though before a wicked idea pops in your head as you reach over your stuffed bunny dragging it in between your thighs as you relentlessly rub against it surprising kai as he begins to watch you and he could have swore he came untouched when he heard you whine his name
“could i have some of your ice cream?” kai spoke up as you sat behind him rewatching chobits with him and you nod feeding him some. “thanks” he’d smile “you know i love you right?” he adds on nonchalantly as he turns his attention back to the tv making your blood run cold
you guys never spoke of kai’s confession, but still remained close friends frustrating you. why hasn’t he asked me to be my boyfriend already? you’d huff your cheeks out laying down in bed drifting away to sleep then kai takes his cue and steps into your room from your window smiling down at your now sleeping state. the boy held his breathe itching closer to you lifting up your bedsheets turning you gently to your back as your eyes flutter open as you immediately felt your pussy get wet again
“kai?” you spoke up seeing kai quickly undress you both but you didn’t show any sign of denying him “shh you have no idea how long i’ve been wanting to fuck you” kai shushes you as you freeze. “you’ve been wanting to fuck me?” you’d smile a little blushing at the thought of being wanted. with a nod he speaks again, “ever since you sucked me off like that i haven’t been able to control myself i hope you’re not scared”
you’d gasp softly at the sight of your pussy being stretched around kai’s cock gently grabbing his forearm feeling him rut deeper and deeper into your gummy walls making your breath hitch. “be gentle” you’d hiccup “im.. im a virgin..” “i know”
“what? how did you know that?” your doe eyes weakly open again “you’re not really that dumb are you?” kai laughs menacingly at your wide eyes “come on baby really? you do know that i’m the one sending you all those letters right?” “the love letters?” you’d squeak. kai laughs again, moving to an angle to hit a specific spot in your stomach. “you think i write those letters to you out of love?”
you began to tear up feeling your pussy torn apart in two, “kai” you let out a dry sob “it hurts no more” you’d whine feeling overstimulated at how much you cummed that night “just one more baby yeah? just one more” kai hushed you and you whimpered feeling a knot in your stomach
“do you wanna be my girlfriend?” kai murmured half asleep and you nod. “you’re my boyfriend now right?” you’d speak up making kai laugh at you now waking up. “yes of course” he kisses you lightly making you squeal in delight
a/n: sorry if this isn’t the best 💔
#angelina’s garden ♡!#coquette#emo boyfriend#emo x coquette#txt x reader#txt#txt x y/n#txt smut#txt oneshots#txt reactions#txt headcanons#txt imagines#txt kai#yandere#yandere txt#yandere kai
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In defense of Andrew Graves: Facing Yourself
Alt title: Andrew Graves: The Will to Plow Her
I think my analysis of Andrew is one of the best essays I've written so far. But since then, I think I've expanded my understanding of his character in a way that urges me to add on to my prior essay. What I intend on doing is further fleshing out my reading of Burial, and going deeper in detail on why I think Decay ends up panning out the way it does. This essay will end up sharing a lot of text with my prior one, but will add enough scattered throughout that I think it merits a complete reread instead of just scrolling down and seeing what's new.
I've focused a lot on Ashley in my past writings. She's my favorite character in the story (and depending on how episode 3 pans out, maybe ever) and I'm pretty mortified by how some parts of the fandom have reacted towards her, so I pretty much made it my life's mission to push back against that. From highlighting the ways Andrew mistreats her, to coming up with justifications for her behavior that aren't just being a manipulative bitch, I really wanted to prove that a more favorable picture of her could be painted than most were willing to.
But in doing so, I've left Andrew in the dust.
In highlighting his flaws and the ways he mistreats Ashley, I think I've implied a level of intentionality to his actions that I don't believe he has. When I say that Ashley did nothing wrong, it's in direct response to the idea that she holds the most responsibility and agency in how their dynamic plays out, when in reality, I believe she has very little. Most of her actions in-story are in reaction to a variety of stimuli that come directly from Andrew, that he has control over and are aware of how Ashley feels about. His refusal to use clear and direct language to deny her most toxic tendencies causes her more and more stress as time goes on, and instead of giving her clear answers he opts to be catty, passive-aggressive, or, at his worst, threatening. Never direct and never clear, except when establishing boundaries over his name after the choking scene. Andrew fails to help Ashley be better in some frankly depressing ways throughout the whole story, especially in their childhoods, so we never get to see where she'd fall short if given a better influence.
...
Kind of. More on that later!
In mentioning his thing about preferring to be called Andrew instead of Andy, I also implicitly mention one of the places where Ashley falls short in their dynamic and could stand to do better: recognition.
This scene says a lot. It's the most heartbreaking scene in the game, if you ask me, and probably the single most profound and well-written moment in the entire story. I could write a whole 2000 word essay on it alone, but I've already said most of what I have to say about it through what I've said in other essays, so I'll spare you all that. Instead, I'll use it to highlight something:
"I had fun."
Their dysfunction is fun to her. She's so used to abuse and alienation that even the most awful, stressful (as far as we know) route of the game is still fun to her. And that's not a sign of her being a secret evil sociopath or whatever; that's actually not abnormal behavior to develop for a lifelong victim of abuse. Those highs and lows, those strong emotional highs and lows are -addicting-. They're -fun.- Part of why abuse victims get into so many abusive relationships is because it's easy to pick up on those patterns of thought and take advantage of them, and the cycle of abuse is often furthered when a victim of abuse tries to draw out mutually abusive behaviors in someone with no interest in having that kind of dynamic.
This is where I'm willing to acknowledge Ashley's manipulative tendencies. Not just as a matter of controlling Andrew for its own sake, purely out of jealousy or possessiveness, but as a matter of trying to further the only dynamic she's ever known in her life. Better the devil you know, right?
That push and pull- that emotional rollercoaster- is all many of us know. And it's all Ashley knows. This dynamic is something she's so used to that she reacts incredibly harshly to any attempt to change it, because she doesn't know that things can be better. Because of this, she refuses to engage with who Andrew really is, and tells herself- and him- that she *hates* Andrew:
This scene is almost as heartbreaking as the above one in a lot of ways.
Andrew putting his foot down about the Andy/Andrew name dichotomy wasn't arbitrary and it wasn't just about his comfort. It was about Andrew giving a clear indication about what needs to happen for their relationship to improve. He's recognizing the cycle between them and wants to put a stop to it, because he's confident that things between them CAN get better and evolve into something healthier. Ashley, not understanding that their dynamic can get better, because their "fun" little push and pull of abuse is all she knows, rejects that. She rejects the unknown, and says- in Andrew's mind at least- that she'll never accept that new dynamic, nor will she accept who he really is.
Ouch. No wonder he looks so sad in that screenshot.
They have a conflict of understanding here, and I think it's fair to pin most of the responsibility on Ashley. Andrew was clear in what he wanted, and Ashley just... Didn't. She didn't see the importance of it ("...whatever that means in practice") and didn't really ask. This gap in communication, perfectly displayed in this scene, is likely what causes the Decay ending. He wants things to be better, and wants to treat Ashley better, and whether or not he understands the ways in which she communicates with him is in part what determines what he sees her as.
But there's a lot of evidence that he always wanted things to be better, that he always wanted to treat her better. But external factors have made it very, very difficult, and I think there are two key points in which he started to shed the importance of those external factors and seek that better relationship, both of which happening in the apartment: The killing of the warden and the 302 lady. In the first case, he was forced to do it to protect Ashley in a way he hadn't done before, or depending on how you look at it, since the death of Nina. But the intentionality was the key point here. After this point, he calls Ashley Leyley, which may or may not seem important at this point, but it's something I'll draw attention to later, so keep that in mind.
Next is the killing of the 302 lady, which is the much, much bigger point. We don't learn much about it until later on- as at first he just gives an excuse about the nail gun that doesn't line up with what we see on the map- but during the dream, it's revealed it was a calculated, intentional killing that he did to make sure there was no evidence left behind, and because Ashley (supposedly) would've wanted him to do it anyway. I say supposedly because Ashley herself doesn't seem to ever want Andrew to kill for her past Nina's death, because he only ever kills for her to defend one or both of them. If you want more evidence that violence for violence's sake isn't something she wants, look at this part in the final dream:
A knife isn't what opens the door, despite it being placed on the ground in that very map. While it seems obvious that the knife (violence) would be the key to solving the puzzle, it's put there explicitly to show you that it isn't. It's not what she wants; what she wants is a flower.
So, why is this important? Why am I centering Ashley- again- when this essay is supposed to be about Andrew?
It's because these two killings are when Andrew's self-delusion over who he really is starts to break down. It's still there, mind, as he still relies upon Ashley as an excuse to justify it, but, as well as what I've said before, the name ultimatum is an implicit confession that the normalcy he finds comfort in is starting to lose its grasp on him. There's a lot that's been said about Andy being something close to a "moral impulse" for Andrew, given his child self's reaction to Nina's death being the only thing he does that approximates a normal moral response to his and Ashley's actions, but if you do think that- which I think is a reasonable thing to think even if I don't necessarily agree- there's something you must also keep in mind:
-He- is the one who doesn't want to be called that anymore. -He- is the one who wants to let that moral impulse go, and Ashley is the one making it difficult.
That reading is assuming that Andy is a moral impulse, which I think is... either wrong or too simplistic. Every time I see that reading, it's from someone who's trying to paint him too sympathetically and absolve him of most moral responsibility. I also find it infantilizing to equate morality with childhood in such a way? But that's another tangent that I didn't sign up to talk about. What I do think, however, is that it's a useful framing device to display his own relationship with morality; the allegory to his child self doesn't have to be there for the general pattern to exist.
When Ashley starts to grill Andrew over the killing of the 302 lady, he gets mad. Very mad. Ashley sees it as pointless, as him covering his own ass, but he genuinely did it for her sake, because he thought that's what she wanted, and that it'd make her happy. But what makes her happy isn't violence- or any similarly extreme action for that matter- it's attention and validation. Something he's always reluctant to give her, despite the fact that he always chose her over the alternatives. But despite making that choice, it's always empty and meaningless, because in Ashley's mind, he never did it for her sake.
And hoo boy, does he not like it being framed like this.
He is perfectly willing to do whatever it takes to keep them happy and safe... but only for her sake. It has to be for her sake. He still needs that traditional role, and he still needs to have a narrative in which he's the good guy- a protector. Because it can't be for his sake. It can't be because that's what he wants. He has to uphold that romantic (in the literary tradition sense) ideal. His darkly romantic idealistic streak colors many of his actions and beliefs. This is most plainly visible in his quip about a double suicide being romantic, but it's also visible within the symbolism present within his dream, such as how he can only pave his own path in blood unless Ashley lights the way. It's visible within his appreciation for poetry, and it's visible with how the cultist within the dream speaks in Shakespearean English.
But the transient nature of this ideal is also revealed within this dream, because there's never a cohesive, guided path, even with Ashley there to light it up. Contrary to Ashley's dream, where you literally have maps showing you where to go, Andrew's dream has many more dead ends and no map to guide him. The symbolic role he acts out gives him no clarity, and there's no overarching narrative; merely a bunch of disconnected symbols.
This is contrasted with Ashley's dream, which has narratives so clear that the story literally gives the dream an episode title.
In a sense, he wants to view himself as an actor acting out a role in a story. He wants his life to be poetic, to represent something greater, and to have a cohesive narrative. This is why he's so disconnected from his true desires: He's more concerned with acting as a representative of an ideal than a person with agency. But every time the mask drops, every time he stops acting, his true self becomes visible. He naturally settles into being comfortable around Ashley, in treating her with warmth and kindness, and their banter becomes much less toxic. As intent as he is on acting out his role, it does nothing for him, and as his dream sequence shows, it doesn't even form a cohesive narrative, because he can't act one out. It's too contrary to who he really is, and what he really wants. But that idealization doesn't just apply to himself, it also applies to Ashley. Specifically, who Ashley is, vs who he wants her to be.
In his unique dream sequence, he sees two versions of Ashley; the child version of her- Leyley- and the adult version of her- Ashley. And the differences in the ways he interacts with the two of them are stunning. Leyley is an obstinate, annoying child. She's the one he NEEDS to take care of, and he hates that. He hates Leyley for what she did for his childhood. He hates that he needs to provide for her. He has the option of trying to kill her, even, over something as small as a candle!
But in the room with all the murders, the gilded cage, he sees Ashley as an adult. This version of Ashley is stuck in a closet that he himself has to open- and to choose to see. Their interactions are calm and friendly. She teases him a bit, sure, but she's still helpful, and they have fun together. He doesn't need her, and she doesn't need him. He needed Leyley- needed the candle- but here, there are other limbs strewn about for him to take. And, crucially, he doesn't even have the option to kill this Ashley for one of the limbs.
And during the choking scene, he lets her go the moment she acknowledges that he doesn't need her anymore. This is the first time we know of that he seems comfortable enough to set a clear boundary, which is acknowledging that their prior dynamic is dead and that they're now Andrew and Ashley, not Andy and Leyley. It's a bit late to express a clear boundary -after- literally acting like he was going to kill someone, but it's the first time we know of that he sets a clear standard for what, in his mind, would improve his relationship with Ashley.
After all, what he wants is to want her, not need her. He wants Ashley for Ashley's sake. Not for what she can provide him. He doesn't even need her for sleep, he just wants her. But Ashley has trouble acknowledging this, because he's never before shown that WANT. Only a NEED. She keeps trying to find ways to make him need her, because she's never seen what his desire for her is really like. She's only ever seen him desiring someone else, someone other than her.
She's only ever seen him as Andy, because she's never truly seen Andrew, only the violence he can inflict on others. But Andrew can see both:
He can see Leyley, the needy, bratty child who always needs his attention, that he needs to provide for. The one he hates and wants to get rid of. The one he kills for to protect.
And he can see Ashley, the one who engages in friendly and cute banter with him. Who comforts and shows him physical affection. The one he loves. The one he kills for to make happy.
He just can't choose which one he wants to see. Every outside influence- from his parents, to Julia, to Nina- makes him see her as Leyley. Ashley herself makes him see her as Leyley too, whenever she brings up all the things he did for her, and calls him Andy, his child self, instead of Andrew, his current self. And as long as he sees that child, he feels like one too, and can never give Ashley anything that comes from the heart.
But he really, really wants to see Ashley as an adult. He wants to take pride in her, how much she's grown, and how driven and competent she really is.
But god damn, does that bitch ever make it hard, because there IS no real difference between Ashley and Leyley. She's grown and changed over time, taking more adult (and stereotypically feminine) responsibility upon herself, but the fact that her temperament and personality hasn't changed much obfuscates that growth. When you talk to Ashley in the closet during the dream after getting the limb, Andrew asks Ashley to come out of the closet, but she refuses to come out because he won't invite Leyley over to play, which is a pretty strong metaphor for how he interfaces with different aspects of Ashley's personality and refuses to accept others. But the reality is that he needs to accept both, or rather, see her whole self as Ashley, rather than just the parts he likes.
In the end, it's him who has to make the choice how to see her. Ashley can only see what she's been shown, but Andrew can choose.
And in the basement scene, he makes that choice.
If Ashley refuses to leave him alone with their parents, that's it. In one of the most critical and important moments of his life, she couldn't give him the space needed to make up his own mind. She couldn't treat him as an adult. She couldn't see him as Andrew. If she does give him that choice, she chooses to acknowledge that Andrew is an adult who can be trusted to make his own decisions, even though she (perhaps foolishly) believes that this choice lines up with her own interests. And frankly it does either way, but in accepting their mom's offer, her chooses to see her as Leyley once and for all. He chooses not to reciprocate what Ashley showed him. He does it because he needs to, not because he wants to. Because it's his duty, not his desire.
This is what results in the Decay ending. Through his inability to see Ashley as an adult, he surrenders his agency and views all of his actions as an extension of his responsibilities, his role, which he no longer wishes to uphold. He dissociates fully from who he really is, acting in accordance with that disconnected, barely-cohesive narrative that exists only within his mind. The game starts to resemble the heartwrenching tragedy that many seem to take for granted that it is, as their dynamic fully doubles down on its painful toxicity. And, in an example of a poetic book end, Ashley's dream shows a double suicide, closing the book on their tragic tale.
It's tragic. It's heartwrenching. It's poetic. It's beautiful.
...Except it's not. Not at all.
It's actually fucking stupid, pointless, and brutal, and Burial shows us that. When we view their spiral as beautiful, we project the same darkly romantic ideal that Andrew possesses onto the story.
But the actual reality is horrifying.
Ashley spends most of Decay terrified of Andrew, the one person she found comfort in. He acts cold, distant, and aggressive towards her, showing pointless cruelty instead of any warmth. All she wants is comfort; all she wants is to not die. She doesn't want to engage in this death spiral at all, and, in her dream sequence, shows none of the same willingness to die alongside Andrew that Andrew does with her. The moment we stop focusing on the end of the Decay dream sequence, which has very striking imagery, and if you choose not to shoot, one of the most beautiful scenes in the game, we can see it for what it really is:
A scared animal running away from a predator.
The moment you see Decay through Ashley's eyes, and not the perspective of some romantic ideal, Decay becomes terrifying, tense, and painful. There is no catharsis to be had in this tragedy. It's easily avoidable as long as Andrew chooses to engage with reality, and not the empty promises of his mother and incoherent narrative of his ideal.
Finding beauty and meaning in tragedy is how we cope with the harshness of reality. But there is no coherent narrative to the tragedies we experience, just like there's no coherent narrative to the ideal Andrew wishes to uphold. It's something we create- that he creates- but it's not something that actually exists.
And when Andrew casts aside his desire for that ideal, and the responsibilities it shackles him to, it grants him clarity that he never had before. He sees the world for how it really is, and acknowledges that nobody- the least of which their mother- is as different from Ashley as they pretend to be.
They're no better than her, and he's tired of people pretending that they are. People are all the same, no matter what ideals they try to uphold and represent. They still sacrifice others in the name of advancing themselves, still punch down whenever they can, and still lay blame on those beneath them rather than try to take control of their lives. They just use those ideals to justify themselves, but Ashley, and now Andrew, reject even the need for that justification.
This is why I believe the story is nihilistic. Not in that it asserts the inherent meaninglessness of life, but in that it grapples with the ideals we uphold and how they obfuscate the reality of the world we live in. The story, intentionally or not, highlights how ideals are often but a pretense we use to justify what we were likely going to do regardless, and how holding to them too strongly can lead to our ruin- and how monstrous they make us look to those who do not share them.
Consequently, this is how I view the part of the fanbase who thinks Decay is a good ending.
(the characters themselves represent existentialism rather than nihilism but i couldn't really fit that analysis in here without it feeling forced so i might cover that another time)
From that point on, their relationship becomes a lot more friendly, lighthearted, and playful. They ironically start acting more like children, but to quote CS Lewis:
"Critics who treat adult as a term of approval, instead of as a merely descriptive term, cannot be adult themselves. To be concerned about being grown up, to admire the grown up because it is grown up, to blush at the suspicion of being childish; these things are the marks of childhood and adolescence."
He's not ashamed of being playful with Ashley, or showing affection towards her. He's grown up. He finally sees her, and himself, as an adult- although he still doesn't show that in full until much later on (more or that later). But in Decay, he still sees her as a child, and to an extent, probably himself. Let's compare the ways in which he reacts to being called Andy. In Decay, he lashes out at Ashley and gets angry, even threatening her. But in Questionable Burial, he calmly says that Andy is dead and doesn't need Ashley's comfort, but still tries to reassure her that she's still needed. He's not ashamed of or hostile towards their prior dynamic, because he's grown past it. He still acknowledges Ashley's need to feel needed, but here, he recognizes its importance to her, whereas he was hostile towards it before.
It's a display of respect towards her feelings.
This interaction doesn't happen in the Sane ending, however. He doesn't play games with her and is just a lot less fun to be around all together. Why is that? Because he still hasn't yet shaken viewing Ashley as Leyley there. He still views her as a burden, as someone who needs taking care of. He's calmly accepted that, too, mind you, but he lacks respect for her because she's still a child, in his mind. But in Questionable?
The vision did more than just make him extremely embarrassed and lay his deepest desires bare. It forced him to recognize Ashley as an adult. When choosing between "Never" and "Never say never," if Never is chosen, the burden of thought is lifted off of him. But if Ashley chooses "Never say never!", he has to reckon with the fact that Ashley is an adult, someone who can consent to those kinds of things. Someone who MIGHT. Someone who has agency, and can make her own decisions. And more importantly… someone who can trust him to make his own.
Whether he desires sex or not is secondary; he's always had those feelings and has always been ashamed of them. But now that the part of him where that shame came from is dead and buried, there's no childish impulse to grow up. There's no attachment to the hate and bitterness he had before. Look at what he worries about when he picks up that she's uncertain or confused about who he is now:
It's her feelings.
He wants to be fun to be around. He wants to make Ashley happy. He loves her, and not as a romantic interest or even as a sibling. He loves her independent of all that baggage.
He loves her as a person.
Their relationship runs contrary to societal ideals in some pretty huge ways. So contrary, in fact, that it's hard for some to accept it as anything good, that it can ever be best for the people involved. It's incestuous. It involves them killing and eating their parents. It involves them distancing themselves so much from society that it's hard to believe they'll ever fit in it again. It's chaotic, it's messy, it's codependent, and maybe even toxic. And yet, here they are. They're coexisting. They're happy. They're healing. They're navigating the world in the only way they can: together.
Meanwhile, in Decay, Andrew refuses to allow himself to get closer to Ashley. He surrenders all agency to her, buys into his own narrative, drinks his own Kool-Aid, and may or may not condemn one or both of them to death in the process. Like it or not, the only path where Andrew takes ownership of his life is the one where he's closest to his sister. It's the one where he decides where they will go next, the one where he decides his own feelings matter, and acts in accordance with what he wants instead of how he thinks he should act.
His agency, his freedom, and his growth don't happen in spite of his codependency; they're happen because of it. They can't grow alone. They can't heal alone.
In reading the story, one must interrogate how important those societal ideals are in the face of the realities of what makes people happy. Are those ideals worth upholding in spite of this? Can we really allow people to fall through the cracks in the name of social norms? Can we blame people for taking rash actions when the social contract has failed them?
Or are we so blinded by those ideals that we can't see that people can be happy while blatantly disregarding them?
All I know is that in Burial, Andrew, having cast aside normalcy, now appears to be truly happy for the first time in his life.
Who are we to take that from him?
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Only Friends: Fight Night
Another excellent episode, this time with everyone at each other’s throats. So much happened, so let’s break down the big fights and shifting allegiances.
Round 1: Sand vs Top
Phew, Sand really hates Top. I am dying for the backstory on the ex Top stole from him. I loved how this scene showcased Top’s two faces: the boyfriend mask he wears with Mew, and this nastiness that comes out with others. I think both faces are real to an extent, but it cannot be denied that he is lying and hiding parts of himself from Mew. I don’t think Mew would be happy to hear the way Top talks about him, flaunting him as a conquest he won. Sand’s disdain for Top and the way he operates could not be more clear, and his smug attitude in this scene gave Sand the push he needed to do something with the ammunition he has.
Winner: Sand, but Top doesn’t know it yet.
Round 2: Ray vs Boston
Ray walked into this scene with the upperhand, and we saw a moment of real fear on Boston’s face when he realized Ray knew about him fucking Top. But he recovered quickly and turned it around on Ray easily, hitting on his insecurities about Mew and accusing him of only wanting Mew to know so he could break up his relationship and try to get with him again. He called him disgusting (Boston’s favorite insult), and clearly, that was a direct hit, because Ray teared up and disassembled immediately.
Winner: Boston. Don’t fuck with a fucker, Ray.
Round 3: Cheum vs Boston and Ray
Cheum got her passive aggressive on in this scene and made a bunch of passive aggressive digs at her “friends.” I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: everyone in this friend group is an asshole (run for your life, April!) and none of them seem to actually like each other much. After encouraging Boston to bring Nick and promising to be on her best behavior, she called him a “heartless slut” in front of the guy she claims she wants him to date, and then started picking on Ray for being single and condescended to him about finding someone, teeing up Boston to add insult to injury. Classic mean girl behavior.
Winner: Cheum, but not for long.
Round 4: Ray vs Everyone
As soon as Ray started chugging his liquor after his friends were mean to him, I knew we were in for some chaos, and he did not disappoint. Shots fired at every one of them, except for his most beloved Mew. Unfortunately, his drunk and high ass couldn’t get it together to coherently explain what he was ranting about in front of the crowd, but in the end it didn’t matter because he had already delivered the important information to Mew in the bathroom. Boston deserved it and I didn’t even feel bad for Cheum, she brought that shit on herself. Insulting Sand and offering him money for sex in front of everyone, though? Fucking ouch.
Winner: Ray, but in his typical fashion, he also lost.
Round 5: Sand vs Ray
Sand is the cause of this whole mess, but he seems distressed to see Ray in this state. I don’t know what he thought would happen when he gave Ray this ammunition, knowing how he feels about Mew and how little self-control he has, so I was rolling my eyes a little at his insistence that Ray stop thinking about Mew. You sewed this chaos, sir! Don’t light the match and then make a shocked Pikachu face when you start a fire! After having already hurt him in front of everyone in the bar, Ray rejected Sand and his help brutally, calling him a whore and throwing him to the ground, and then got in his car to wreak havoc on the road. Ray is focused on Mew and simply does not care about Sand’s feelings, and Sand can’t seem to stop trying to protect Ray from his own self-destruction no matter how many times he’s rejected.
Winner: No one, this is all around fucked.
Round 6: Mew vs Top
Mew, my boy, I didn’t know you had it in you! Throughout that scene I was shaking my head, wondering how he could have possibly missed the implication of what Ray was saying and whether he just won’t believe anything Ray says, and then as the sex scene started and he was more bold and confident than usual, I was like what is going o—oh shit! Mew, that was brilliant. I loved seeing him catch Top off guard like that, and given that he already knew before he went home with him, he was clearly giving Top one last chance to come clean and stop lying. Top failed the test, Mew is righteously pissed and genuinely hurt, and for once, Top is out of his depth with no idea how to fix his mistake.
Winner: Mew.
And Mew isn’t done, because next week we finally get to see him set some things on fire and kick Boston into the pool. Friends, I can hardly wait.
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I dont know if this reading is okay. But can you do: How Enha (hyung line) would defend or react to a friend/ girlfriend /someone important to them being provoked in an arguement. *Their friend being passive*
I don't know if this makes sense. I hope you understand what I just said😅 And if this is too sensitive, kindly disregard. Thankyou💞
hii thank you for sending in this ask!!! we both think it’s very interesting <3
six of pentacles, four of wands, the sun
heeseung: Heeseung is the type to stand with his loved one, even if he knows that they are wrong. The type to look calm from the outside but rage inside. This is on purpose actually! He is the kind of person to provoke the person who provokes his loved one in an even more extreme manner, sometimes crossing some lines with it too. But he never specifically looses his cool, never gets worked up exactly so the person feels even more rage and anger. It’s all about control and making the person loose their mind. He would do his best to stand up for his loved one in the best way possible. Though he would still be extremely supportive towards his loved one, if they stand up for themselves he would take their side, adding to their points as a mean of support. Hyping them up even! He doesn’t even have to be asked to do all this, he would just because he can and want to. Though, he only does this in situations he knows he can “win”. In more serious times he is scared to be confrontational and would rather aim for a resolution that’s good for everyone. He seems to have a flight response in serious situations and a fight in none serious ones due to not being sure how to properly deal with conflicts in the moment they are happening. After the situation calms down he would know how to resolve issues though.
knight of swords, ten of swords, page of swords
jay: Jay is the type of person to be protective over the people he loves, wether it’s a platonic feeling or not. He doesn’t like to see his loved one go through hardships, so would feel annoyed as soon as his loved one is provoked. He is the type to be confrontational and stand up for whoever he loves, though he doesn’t want to embarrass whoever he is defending so he would try to keep his emotions under control even though he usually struggles with it. Though, his mood would still show. The way he reacts to this usually depends on how serious the situation is, but regardless he would stand up for the person he loves. Usually be more serious than they are since he feels things really deep. He wouldn’t necessarily provoke the person back unless he thinks it’s the right thing to do. Usually, he would do what he thinks is the most effective in the way, so his actions would depend on context and his loved ones boundaries. So he could do anything from (verbal) fights, to inconveniencing the provoking person to rationally taking them apart so the person feels bad about themselves. He might take such things to heart, alternating his view on the provoking person permanently. Although, he isn’t likely to take things too far unless he is emotionally triggering but it’s unlikely to happen as he prefers to keep rational. Overall he wouldn’t focus on “winning” but making the person regret the decision to mistreat his loved one.
queen of wands, six of pentacles, king of cups
jake: For Jake, it depends on the situation itself. For the most part, as long as the provoking isn’t malicious or harmful he would do his best to ease the situation in a way it pleases both sides involved to avoid unnecessary drama. He would try to understand and hear both sides out, validate the feelings of both yet make sure no one steps out of line and people apologise if necessary. However, if the person provokes with malicious intentions that’s a different story. He might become passive aggressive and he will only care about defending his loved one. Once he gets mad at the person provoked he would refuse to back up from protecting them, he might even lose his cool. It’s not that he has a clear goal or ambition in mind towards the other person such as winning or making them feel bad but rather that his loved one knows he won’t allow anyone to disrespect them in front of him. So, overall maybe avoiding such a situation happening in the future again. If he gets enough mad he might even raise his voice and not hear out the person that provoked his loved one. Rather, he would make sure to directly tell them what they did and every negative opinion he might have. Though, that’s only if the situation is really serious.
page of pentacles, the queen of swords, king of swords
sunghoon: Sunghoon isn’t the type to get into arguments even if his loved one gets provoked, however he will still defend his loved one, stand up for them and even if it means getting into disagreements. In fact, out of the hyung line he is the most confrontational one, but unless the person is extremely disrespectful he wouldn’t argue because he knows how to take charge of the situation. Instead of blindly hating on and accusing the provoking person he would destroy their mood and confidence in the actions they do with pure honesty. The type of person that knows they are correct and stands by their beliefs with a confident manner but still owns up to their mistakes. So, if he was to disagree with someone the feeling of ‘ah, maybe I am/x is really in the wrong’ would sink in deep, and his words would make the atmosphere feel heavier. (Even if it’s unintentional) It’s not that he doesn’t get mad, he does, and it’s obvious by his expression, behavior, attitude and mannerism but rather he would be able to keep under control to the best of his abilities, which would allow him to call the person out for acting irrationally. He isn’t afraid to use harsh words or question them either, his goal is to get the person to admit that they are in the wrong and he can do it very well. In fact, he is so calm and respectful yet confrontational during it that it might intimidate people because they know that once he gets _really_ mad he might not act this respectful. Usually he might end up hurting the person’s feelings in order to protect his loved one’s feelings, making them ashamed even. It’s not on purpose either, he is just very straightforward and honest all while being stubborn and refusing to back down. Even if his loved one says it’s okay to not he would still stand up for them, because to him it’s not an option but a duty. If you love someone you have to stand up for them so they know you do and that they matter to you. He believes this goes both for platonic and romantic relationships. He might tone it down a little if his loved one is uncomfortable but he wouldn’t necessarily stop until the person that has been provoking them backs down, apologises or feels bad with themselves. Whatever that shows that they know they are in the wrong.
disc.: sorry for making sunghoon’s longer than the others’! his energy came through really strongly and it’s most possible because he would talk way more than he usually does in a situation like this! 🫶🏻
– Candy
#kpop#kpop reading#tarot#tarot reading#kpop tarot#kpop related#enhypen#sunghoon#park sunghoon#jay#park jongseong#heeseung#lee heeseung#jake#sim jaeyun#enha#enhypen jay#enhypen fluff#enhypen hyung line#enhypen smut#park sunghoon fluff#jay fluff#jake fluff#heesung fluff#kpop game#paid tarot readings#free tarot#free tarot reading#kpop tarot reading#paid kpop tarot
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Dating Gaz
✎: expect more gaz content from me bbs!!💕😘
♡Summary: Headcanons of dating Kyle “Gaz” Garrick.
✧༺<3༻∞
Bf!Gaz kills the spiders around the house for you... evilly. He’d catch them, squash it in a tissue, and just as he’s about to toss it in the bin, he’d playfully chase you around with it before actually throwing it away, leaving you locked away in your bathroom, over exaggeratively heaving with your knees to your chest.
Bf!Gaz loves teasing you, it’s just another one of those things you need to get used to. You accidentally made a big spill in the kitchen, resulting in Gaz teasing you before helping you clean it up. In the midst of his laughter, you retorted with a playful “Shut up,” as your face flushed.
“Make me,” he replied, still as smug and cocky as ever.
And in that moment you remembered something very important - he’s ticklish.
“Okay,” you casually responded, steadily approaching him with an uncontainable grin. You made your move, tickled the life out of him and giggled at the sight of him suffering and practically dying - all from being tickled. He was clutching his stomach - the most tickle-sensitive area - whilst irrepressibly wheezing. You loved and grasped onto any opportunity to make or hear him laugh, it was all so pure and natural; melodic and fulfilling. You found yourself beaming at his chuckling.
Bf!Gaz doesn’t want his princess to lift a single muscle, he wants you to leave the harder jobs to him.
Today, you decided to be independent in building your desk from IKEA. You denied his volunteering each and every time to prove your ‘mechanical skills’:
“Y’sure you don’t need help?” Gaz asked, leaning on the doorway.
You didn’t answer for a moment as you were hyper-focusing on the manual with writing a few fonts too small, and you’re also sure the instructions are written in a foreign language.
“Yeah, I got it,” you replied, slightly unsure. Your confidence in the task at hand would deteriorate each time you denied his help. You were so used to him doing everything for you, you couldn’t help but feel bad and at least try give it a shot. He did make it seem effortless, after all.
“More power to you, princess.” He said, disappearing into the living room and leaving you to it.
He knew he would return a few seconds later just to watch this fabricated construction site like this was the most amusing thing. Random screw drivers were scattered across the floor, the manual was torn to pieces out of frustration, and you were defeatedly tugged at your hair before groaning. He passive aggressively cleared his throat, announcing his availability.
“I think can do it… I think,” you said, thinking you were getting somewhere by screwing some random, small metal thingy into a hole that it didn’t even fit before huffing exasperatedly.
“And how’s that going for ya?”
Bf!Gaz shows you off, if you love it or hate it - you’re his girl and the entire world’s going to know if he’s by your side. Either telling his boys about you, boldly wrapping his hand around your waist or taking an uncountable amount of pictures of you. He loved you, he was going to make sure everyone knew that. You were admittedly a bit nervous at being showered in his constant attention and affection, but you eventually grew used to it.
Bf!Gaz is the ‘human dumpster’ of the relationship. Either if you’re dining out or having dinner, the moment you utter a “Babe, ‘m too full to finish my food,” he grabs your plate and laps it up for you.
“Are you sure you’re going to finish all that?” Gaz asked, watching you walk into the living room with a platter full of nachos and guacamole for movie night.
“Duhh,” you replied, earning an unsure look from Gaz in return. And as predicted, you were full after popping only a few of them in your mouth. You already had dinner before this uncontrollable nacho craving. You don’t know what made you act on it but it surely was a dumb decision and Gaz saw this coming from a mile away.
He laughed before finishing them for you as you engulfed yourselves into some Netflix show you guys decided to put on.
There was also this one time where you unknowingly got some BBQ sauce on your inner thigh as you were eating. You were confused when you saw him crouching down before you and licking it off, making you laugh when you finally realised what he was doing and playfully nudging him off.
“What?” he chuckled, wiping the side of his face as some of the sauce somehow landed there, “can’t waste it, can I?”
(Bonus canon: We all know that ‘bad slice’ of bread that’s constantly avoided like the plague - the weirdly shaped final slice. He’d eat that one for you as he watched them linger whenever new packs of bread where bought. It always confuses him as to why you did this as they all tasted the same, anyways).
Bf!Gaz is used to you being all flirty with him, but he still falls for it merely every time. You catch him by surprise with how creative you can get with it at times:
“Is that seat taken?” you asked, walking up to him. He was in the living room, watching some rowdy football match. He only looked up at you confused and shrugged his shoulders, “…what seat?” Little did he know his confused expression was soon going to chance to a shocked and amused one.
You sat on his lap and wrapped an arm around his neck, studying his facial expression to see if he caught onto your little joke. It took him a little while - but he got it soon enough.
Bf!Gaz playfully humps you or slaps your ass whenever you bend over to pick anything up. And so one day, you returned the favour; doing the exact same thing to him when he bent over to pick something up. Don’t get me wrong - he was caught a little off guard by you full on humping him at first. But dry humping each other anytime either of you guys bent over was now your inside joke!! (How wholesome <3)
Bf!Gaz is used to being told what to do, mostly because decision making is a bit irrational. Like tell this man what to do and he’d listen for you, either with a “yes ma’am” or a jokey salute. And he better be expecting a “I’m not mad, just disappointed” from you whenever he does something really dumb.
Bf!Gaz uses your boobs like they’re plush pillows. Not always in a completely sexual way, it’s just his go to when you guys cuddle. Either gently laying on them or kneading them whilst you stroke his hair - he always simply put it as, “you can’t get this quality with regular pillows.” You could be laying on the couch and he’s suddenly on top of you and using them as pillows.
Bf!Gaz loves going out with you. The days where you spent all day exploring your city always start off with you guys doing something simple, like dining out. It expectedly transitions into visiting some place you’ve both been meaning to go, to having a picnic, to watching the sunset then stargazing.
Bf!Gaz makes you breakfast in bed. It’s always so delicious (and nutritious - can’t forget the nutrients). It’s an amazing way to start your morning, the bread’s toasted and buttered to perfection and he knows how to whip up a yummy smoothie. He’s a total health enthusiast so expect him to sneak some fruits in there, too. He makes those açai bowls alongside his breakfast if he has the time to. Give this man a random mix of fruits and he’d have a delicious smoothie ready for you both in no time. You’re so happy you have your own personal five star nutritionist and chef to bring you a healthy, amazing breakfast.
Bf!Gaz was your professional and personal coach when it came to the gym. He’d either get your water bottles, recommend techniques, help with your form and do anything to help you. Especially with him being in the military, he’s a great help.
Bf!Gaz does the most only to get a minute of your attention. You’d act as if you couldn’t hear him just to have his absolute lover boy of a man practically begging for you. He’d lift you upon your kitchen’s countertop and make you look at him before you both erupt into giggles and share yet another wholesome moment together.
Bf!Gaz’s body is littered in bite marks because of your unique love language; biting. Your drawn to the feeling of sinking your teeth onto his forearm out of pure boredom and just saying there like a clingy vampire.
“You having fun there?” he asked, surprisingly not moving his arm to interrupt your little ‘Dracula’ session. You only bit him harder in response to his rhetorical question.
“Ow.”
Bf!Gaz is a massive dog person, probably the biggest dog person you’ll ever meet. He knows every dog breed off by heart, blindfolded (and probably by only feeling their fur). His outgoing, extroverted personality doesn’t falter when he approaches people in dog parks to ask to pet their dogs. You guys are even considering adopting one and adding a cute, furry addition to the family.
Bf!Gaz left some of his shirts around while he was on leave, so you used them as your pillowcase whenever you missed him - which was practically all the time. He always smelt so good, and you get flashbacks to the fun, intimate and joyous memories you shared all from smelling a peace of fabric; it’s a win-win. You don’t know whatever body wash or cologne he was using but there’s something that’s so uniquely him that’s engulfed in his shirts. You having a better time sleeping when he’s the last thing on your mind before you sleep, and the first thing on your mind when you wake up.
*-.Masterlist.-*
Soap Version
König Version
Ghost Version
Price Version
#gaz#kyle garrick#gaz cod#gaz mw2#gaz x reader#kyle gaz garrick#x reader#x f!reader#f!reader#x yn#yn#fluff#cod#cod x reader#cod headcanons#headcanons#headcanon#headcanons gaz#cod fic#cod fanfic#cod men#cod x y/n#cod mw2#call of duty#idk why i’m derealisinh so much holy crap literally nothing feels real anymore and i have this irrepressible urge to escape reality and idk#idk why i feel like this holy moly. I BLAME MY FARTHERRRR 😘 if ur reading this no u didn’t#ugh it’s no big deal anywho i feel like i’m overreacting ☠️☠️ok bye enjoy ur day#erm
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Everything Has Changed - Chapter 6
Previous Chapter
Chapter Song Inspiration: "I Can See You" - Taylor Swift
Chapter Warnings: none
Spotify Playlist: Here
Author Notes: Thank you all so much for reading, reblogging, liking, and commenting on this fic (and the first one)! If you are interested in supporting me in other ways, I have a Ko-Fi link. ya girl has been behind on bills for two months and i've got a dog to feed, and every little bit helps <3
Chapter 6: Baby, If You Only Knew
Fallon shouldn’t be laughing. Firstly, laughing was incredibly painful. This was the primary reason that Fallon was desperately trying to hold in her laughter as the situation unfolded in front of her. Second, it was Astarion who was the misfortunate one who they were laughing at, and he would definitely be bothered by the fact that she laughed with Gale and Arabella. Then again, it wasn’t every day that her boyfriend was accidentally turned into a cat by her ex-boyfriend’s wild magic, so perhaps this was one of those rare moments where, despite her lover’s displeasure, laughing through the pain was acceptable.
She didn’t need to be able to understand the meows coming from the fluffy white cat at her feet to know Astarion was furious. “Gods, to have a Potion of Animal Speaking on me right now,” Fallon giggled, wiping tears from her eyes. She looked between Gale and Arabella. “Do either of you have one?”
“I do, actually.” Arabella offered, quickly standing up and rushing to her tent to grab the potion.
“You know he’s never going to forgive you for this.” Fallon warned Gale, and the sorcerer chuckled.
“I’d expect nothing less,” He shook his head. “Is it bad that I’m not sorry?”
Fallon snorted, which earned them both a devastating glare and a hiss from the cat. “Maybe a little.”
Arabella returned with the potion and handed the bottle to Fallon, who quickly uncapped it and swallowed down the potion in two gulps.
A tingling sensation worked its way through her body and within moments, the angry meows coming out of the cat’s mouth were in Common.
“Not sorry, I’ll show that bastard what not sorry looks like.” Astarion ranted as he paced and his tail lashed rapidly back and forth.
“Are you okay, Astarion?” Fallon asked, trying to suppress her giggles once again now that she could speak with him.
“Don’t bother holding back your laughter now, darling, it didn’t stop you before,” He huffed. “If by ‘okay’ you mean 'not at risk of being burned to a crisp by the sun', then yes, it appears I’m fine! But if you’re concern is regarding the fact that Gale turned me into a bloody fucking house cat, then no, I am ABSOLUTELY NOT FINE!”
The last time Astarion shrieked at her like this, it was when Fallon accidentally locked him in the Githyanki creche after she and Shadowheart convinced him to steal The Blood of Lathander, and the building exploded with Astarion still inside. The effect was lessened, however, by his current fluffy situation.“Well at least we know you’re not a vampiric cat.” She offered, trying to find the silver lining of this situation.
“Tell him to change me back this instant, or I will shred his pillow.” Astarion demanded, ignoring her optimism.
Fallon looked at Gale. “Do you think you can turn him back?”
Gale shook his head. “I’m not even sure how he got turned in the first place, so, no. I don’t think I can.”
“Perfect, just bloody perfect.” Astarion growled, and Fallon offered him a sympathetic look.
“Any ideas, Arabella?” Gale inquired of the teenager, a slight blush creeping back into his cheeks at the embarrassment of having to ask someone more than half his age for advice about magic.
She shrugged. “I could try, but transformational magic that complex isn’t something I’ve done much of, so I could end up just making it worse.”
“Yes, let’s not leave my fate to the teenager, thank you.” Astarion hopped up onto the log and perched next to Fallon.
“He said no,” Fallon summarized, leaving Astarion’s passive aggressive insult out. Instinctively she reached over and began scratching behind Astarion’s ears, like she would with any other animal. “Is it any comfort to know that you’re an extremely handsome cat?” It was a hilariously awkward situation, but maybe if she could appeal to Astarion’s vanity he would calm down enough so he wouldn’t hurt Gale once he was human again.
Astarion huffed again. “I know what you’re doing, and no, it is not,” He pressed his furry head into Fallon’s palm and purred. “Though that feels nice.”
Fallon continued scratching behind Astarion’s ears, and kissed the top of his head. “So none of us have any idea how long this is going to last?”
Arabella and Gale shook their heads, and Fallon sighed. “Well, at least we weren’t planning on traveling today anyway.”
“Gale, would you like me to show you some more basic spells while we wait for Astarion to turn back? That way, you’ll at least be able to defend yourself when he tries to murder you.” Arabella offered.
Gale glared at the teenager. “Yes, that would be most appreciated, thank you.” He replied dryly before turning his attention to Astarion. “Astarion, I do hope you know that I didn’t turn you into a cat on purpose, and that you will consider this fact before maiming me or my belongings.”
“I’ll maim whoever the fuck I want, I got turned into a bloody cat.” Astarion hissed, and Gale flinched.
“He said he’ll think about it.” Fallon grinned, giggling again at the sight of a grown man being afraid of a cat.
“Don’t lie to him.” Astarion ordered her as Gale walked away with Arabella.
“You’re not really going to hurt him, are you?” Fallon asked, scooping Astarion up into her arms and carrying him back to their tent so she could lay down. She might as well spend their rest day curled up with a book, and a cat in her lap. “It kind of feels like bullying a toddler, with the way he can barely control his magic right now.”
“Gods, will you ever stop trying to make me a better person?” Astarion whined.
“Probably not.”
“Fine, on my honor, I will not harm the baby sorcerer.” Astarion rolled his eyes. Fallon didn’t know cats could do that. “Can I at least be a thorn in his side until I turn back?”
“You don't need my permission, love, but why would you do that when you could stay here and have a cuddle with me?” Fallon set Astarion down on the ground once they were inside the tent, and sat down next to him. She scratched behind his ears again, and the cat purred.
“Mmm tempting as that is, I think I’d rather be a nuisance to the man who turned me into a cat since you won’t let me kill him.” He licked her hand affectionately, and then trotted back out of the tent, leaving Fallon alone. She shook her head and picked up her book.
Over the next hour, every so often Fallon heard the sounds of something being knocked to the ground, followed by the sound of Arabella giggling and Gale snapping Astarion’s name. With each sound of an object clattering to the ground, the volume of Gale’s voice increased, as did his frustration. She knew that Gale didn’t have many personal items with him, so it was very likely that Astarion had taken it upon himself to repeatedly knock the same object over, much like a normal cat would. She would never say this to his face, but Fallon was of the opinion that Astarion made an excellent cat. He certainly had the right attitude.
Fallon did not put her book down until she heard the telltale “wooshing” sound of transformational magic, followed shortly by a surprised shout from Gale and the sound of Astarion’s voice.
“Don’t you run from me, Gale!” Astarion shouted, and Fallon moved so quickly she barely had time to register the pain that shot through her body as she exited her tent to bear witness to whatever was happening outside. Arabella was standing between the grown men with a large force field surrounding her body, causing Gale and Astarion to run in circles around her as they tried to get to each other. A wide grin bloomed on Fallon’s face and she just stood there, watching, not bothering to intervene. Gale’s gaze fell to Fallon and lingered there a moment too long, grinning at her. That was when Astarion struck, tackling Gale to the ground.
They tumbled in the dirt, wrestling each other like two schoolboys. Fallon looked at Arabella, and the tiefling shook her head. Whatever the goal was, neither Gale or Astarion seemed to have any intention of actually causing the other serious physical harm, so Fallon was inclined to just let them burn each other out. Fallon walked over to Arabella. “How was spell training?” She asked.
“It actually went pretty well– Gale is a fast learner. Of course, we didn’t get through many of them, thanks to Catstarion causing chaos.” Arabella giggled, her eyes still on the men in the dirt. “I don’t remember the two of them being this…combative the last time I saw you all.”
Fallon laughed once. “You’ve missed a lot.”
“I mean, I had a feeling since you’re sharing a tent with Astarion now, and not Gale.” Fallon had forgotten that the last time Arabella shared a camp with them all, Fallon had been in a relationship with Gale.
“Fair enough,” She conceded. Fallon turned her head to look at Arabella. “Did you see Gale blush earlier when you asked if they kissed?” Fallon needed to be certain she hadn’t been the only one to notice. She’d heard the way Gale flirted with Astarion the night the vampire called him Fallon’s new stray dog, reminding him that Astarion loved Scratch, too, but Fallon had assumed that was just to shake Astarion’s confidence and confuse him.
“Oh, he totally blushed.” Arabella confirmed. “Do you think they have? Kissed?”
Fallon went quiet for a moment and turned her attention back to Gale and Astarion wrestling. As Astarion’s partner, the thought of him kissing someone else, especially her ex-boyfriend, should bother her. Only…it didn’t. When she pictured Astarion and Gale kissing, it wasn’t an unwelcome sight. Her mind drifted and the picture in her mind shifted. Fallon pictured herself between Astarion and Gale, their hands roaming over her body as they kissed each other, and she could feel her body heating at the thought. After perhaps a second of hesitation too long, Fallon shook her head to rid herself of the fantasy and to deny Arabella’s question. “Definitely not. Astarion can barely stand to be around the same campfire as Gale. It would never happen.”
Gale and Astarion had finally slowed, as Gale had finally tapped out and apologized to Astarion for turning him into a cat. As they lay on the ground next to each other panting, another image flashed through Fallon’s mind: the two of them laying next to each other, panting because they’d just satisfied her so thoroughly she couldn’t remember her own name. Fallon’s heartbeat picked up as treacherous arousal bloomed inside of her. No, she wouldn’t mind any of those things at all.
Well, she thought to herself. That’s going to be a problem.
Chapter List
#bg3#baldur's gate 3#gale dekarios#gale of waterdeep#gale#astarion#bg3 fanfic#female tav#gale x tav#astarion x tav#astarion x gale x tav#bloodweave#baldur's gate 3 fanfiction#baldur's gate 3 fanfic#bg3 fan fiction#bg3 fanfiction#bg3 fic#baldur's gate 3 fan fic#baldur's gate 3 fan fiction
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—𝗠𝗖𝗟 𝗕𝗢𝗬𝗦 𝗕𝗘𝗜𝗡𝗚 𝗝𝗘𝗔𝗟𝗢𝗨𝗦 (𝗛𝗘𝗔𝗗𝗖𝗔𝗡𝗢𝗡𝗦)
—pairing; ot5 x f!reader
—summary; just hc about the mcl HL boys being jealous
warnings; none for this!
a/n; hello!! this is my first post and i hope you guys like it! english isnt my first language so be kind <3 love you all
—𝗖𝗔𝗦𝗧𝗜𝗘𝗟; 51% (jealousy rating)
oh boyy
castiel is quite impulsive and we all know it
but also, he is pretty confident
in my opinion, cass tends to get jealous when seeing you with specific people
like nath, for example
his first reaction will probably be to make a passive-aggressive comment, but soon he will end up arguing with whoever you are with
this also ends up leading you both into several fights, so sometimes, he try to relax a bit with that.
anyways, you have to prepared for public jealousy scenes
he know he's wrong, but, he cant think clearly in the moment
this also doesnt happen regularly, he bursts out when he cant keep taking it
but, cass isnt even THAT jealous, he's just too intense at the moment of letting it all go
and dont get me wrong, he trusts you
so so much
and thats why he know you would never hurt him
—𝗡𝗔𝗧𝗛𝗔𝗡𝗜𝗘𝗟; 34% (jealousy rating)
i think nath wouldnt be that jealous, because, lets be real
hes pretty mature
EXCEPT, when its about someone he deeply dislikes
maybe castiel, or a friend of yours that is just to touchy
but it isnt like, strong jealousy, just that feeling of wanting you to spend your time w him instead of w that other guy
he prefers to talk about it, and let you know how it makes him feel
THIS IS WHAT WE ALL WANT
COMMUNICATION
he thinks its just so important in your relathionship
he loves you with all his being
and ofc he doesnt want to lose you
but he also wants this relationship to last
thats why he always tries to act mature
so dont expect him to be extremely jealous
—𝗟𝗬𝗦𝗔𝗡𝗗𝗘𝗥; 999% (jealousy rating)
SO
lys is REALLY jealous
BUT
he usually doesnt show it
when he sees you too affectionate with other guy, he feels that weird nauseous feeling in the pit of his stomach, and that blood boiling sensation
tbh he just want to grab you and kiss you in front of the person just so they know youre taken
but he doesnt
actually, he show up there and sneaks "innocently" his arm around your waist
with his aggresive stare, and the coments he makes he just expect the other boy to leave
but if he stays there, he might give you sweet peck on the lips from time to time
that guy better be leaving alreadh or things could get harder
in conclusion: lys is passive-agressive when jealous
—𝗔𝗥𝗠𝗜𝗡; 4% (jealousy rating)
after AL, i cant picture jealous armin
his base in a relathionship is
TRUST
he sooo rarely gets jealous
and if he does he just hides it
also he just trusts you so much that he doesnt want to make you feel uncomfy
he thinks you dont like the toxic men
those who want to show up as manly and make a jealousy scene out of everything
he knows you would never hurt him that way
thats why he never feels the need of telling you to stop spending so much time with others
anyway, ofc he feels jealous
he just doesnt tell you
but he feels it
probably, on their all-nights talks with alexy, he ends up telling him about that
maybe about that friend you keep mentioning
or that other guy that helped you w that stuff he didnt know how
but you wont know that
because probably armin has threatened alexy to not tell you a word he said
he just really doesnt want you to think is intense or anything
pls hug this man
—𝗞𝗘𝗡𝗧𝗜𝗡; 85% (jealousy rating)
so, kentin isnt so jealous
hes more insecure
he used to follow everywhere since he met you
and you never really noticed him
it took soo long for you to finally correspond his feeling
so, sometimes he just feels like you someday will leave him because hes not as good as the other guy
so, when he sees you talking with aother boy, he just want you to hold him and reassure him
he follow you around like a lost puppy
also tries to back hug you while youre talking with this other person just so they get the hint
if they dont (or pretend not to) he would be SO UPSET is heartbreaking
maybe he would silently ask you get away from him
you would find him just SO adorable that you would just do it
ken wants you to tell him that he is the only one for you and that the other boy doesnt mean anything
def expect a lot of kisses, hand holding, any kind of pda
he just wants to feel loved by you
PLS LOVE THIS MAN
#mcl#mcl boys#mcl headcanons#mcl armin#mcl castiel#mcl high school life#mcl nathaniel#mcl lysander#my candy love#mcl kentin#mcl candy#sucrette#reactions#mcl alternate life
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Thinking about this scene:
I see so much of myself in TK at this moment it's not even funny.
TK sitting here, stewing in his thoughts, doom scrolling through some sort of social media. He doesn't outwardly look like anything's wrong, he could just be tired, or anything else so Carlos doesn't immediately pick up on it.
It's obvious that their conversation is one that they've had many times because Carlos doesn't immediately pick up on any of TK's answers being off until TK says "maybe this marriage is a bad idea."
And it makes Carlos stop. He looks up, takes a moment to process what TK said.
Side note to say Carlos looks highly adorable in this picture.
Carlos is standing there, looking at numerous menus trying to decide what to get and when he says "Surprise me", he's definitely not expecting TK to talk about their pending marriage. And we see Carlos pause, take a moment, mumble "okay, that surprised me" and process what TK said.
I love how Carlos doesn't get upset. He recognizes that TK doesn't truly mean what he's just said, that there's some underlying reason why TK has thrown out that maybe they shouldn't get married. Carlos knows how much TK wants to marry him. He knows how much TK loves him.
And, honestly, I think this shows a moment of growth for Carlos. Because the Carlos who was passive aggressive and petty in the season 3 dinner episode, I think would have jumped to the wrong conclusion without much thought. Like:
This Carlos, the Carlos who said "I'm just trying to figure out my place", would have internalized what TK said, wouldn't have tried to talk about it, and would have considered it the other shoe dropping and TK realizing that Carlos isn't actually the one for him.
Instead, though, he sets the menus down and goes over to TK to talk about the comment that he made.
And that just shows so much of their growth as a couple. When Carlos comes over to ask TK what's wrong, TK doesn't run. He doesn't shrug it off. He talks.
Carlos sits down with him and they talk, they actually talk. It's such a beautiful scene. One that needed to happen and I'm just so glad that we got to see it. I'm glad that we got to see them talk it out. It just shows so much growth in who they are. It shows how they talk together when they need to have serious conversations. It shows a vulnerable side of Carlos that we truly not have seen much of. We see more into TK's brain.
And we see them supporting each other. It's just, it's a really beautiful scene and I think that it's so very much well done.
Ronen and Rafael are incredible actors and we're very blessed to know them.
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STEVE ROGERS x FEM!READER,
( silver assassin, part 1/? )
Summary: Y/n and her siblings where hydra assassins from the age of five, and she’s been trying to erase its stain on her humanity for the last five years after her liberation at the age of nineteen. Steve Rogers is making that task very difficult.
Warning: Angst, Violence, Mentions of abuse. I think that’s all?? Let me know if I missed anything.
Note: Hello! This is adapted from wattpad to a y/n, and I think I edited all the mentions of the oc but if there’s a random name in there please let me know so I can edit it! Also format might be weird I posted this on my phone <3 enjoy! (Gif not mine)
Y/N’s MIND WAS A LOUD PLACE. She was a hostage to her own thoughts, and from its taunting there was no escape. Yet she'd become quite the master at numbing herself to it's effect— she always had to keep herself busy. When she was busy there was more thoughts to drown the others out. That's why her free time away from the avengers complex was spent throwing herself into random jobs— which also helped to ease her guilt surrounding her current living predicament. She didn't like other people paying for her existence. Not when she was the cause of so much suffering.
Her body weaves through the tables of an outdoor cafe, Midtown Manhattan alive with the morning rush hour traffic. "Lucy, hey," Her mouth stretched into a smile when she reached the table of a regular, the woman's leafy-green eyes focused on something behind her, "More coffee?"
Lucy blinked, seeming to come back to reality, before a grin fell onto her lips, "Do you even have to ask?"
Y/n scoffed slightly before re-filling the baby-blue mug resting atop the cafe table. Lucy's attention seemed to be stolen again, gaze fixated on the same spot she'd been starting at a-few moments ago. "What are you looking— oh." Y/n sees him as soon as she turns her head to look, Steve Rogers' body crammed into a tiny patio chair a-few tables away. There was tattered sketchbook in front of him, charcoal pencil in hand, and — oh god, and an empty coffee mug. One which she would have to offer a re-fill for.
"Can you believe it?" Lucy excitedly whispered, and y/n plastered a fake smile onto her fallen expression.
"What are the odds, right?" No, really. What are the odds that out of all the cafes in Manhattan he'd find his way to this one. "Speaking of which," She weakly rattled the half-empty french press, "Better go do my job."
Reluctantly she ventured towards his table, convincing herself that it was best to get this interaction out of the way with.
"Captain," She greeted, her stomach twisting with the unpleasant feeling that comes when you know you're presence won't exactly be celebrated, "Refill?"
Steve's eyes tore away from his sketch book, clouding over with confusion when they landed on her. Though she was well aware of his opinion on her— he never outright displayed his dislike. He was captain America after all, but sometimes the passive aggression was worse than being forwards. He gave her a tight lipped expression and nodded his head, "Please."
Y/n began to pour more coffee into his cup, suddenly regretting her decision of approaching him as the silence ensued and his gaze acted like needles to the skin.
"You work here?" He asked finally, and it was more of a hidden question that sought explanation for why she worked here rather what he actually asked— it was already obvious through her apron and the fact that she wouldn't be pouring him drinks otherwise.
"Yes," She replied, "Keeps me busy."
He nodded, but his gaze still seemed to be attempting to figure her out. He always looked at her like that— like she was hiding something. Y/n bit her lip at the awkwardness, the guilty feeling she seemed to get whenever someone was trying to dig too deep into her past making an appearance.
"Okay," She spoke when he said nothing else, "Well, have a nice day."
His smile was tight lipped, "You too."
Then she was turning away, attempting to push aside the unpleasant feeling that gripped at her. Y/n managed to make her way through a-few more customers, taking orders and exchanging small talk about recent news. Only half an hour passed before her phone began to ring, Tony Stark's name flashing on the lock-screen. Her gaze flickered upwards as she brought it to her ear, trying to see if Steve was still at his table, but all that was there was a pushed back chair as if he'd left in a haste.
"Tony?"
"Y/n, hey. Rhodey wants us in." His voice responded.
She tucked the phone between the crook of her neck, begging to untie her apron, "What's going on?"
"Team meeting apparently," His reply didn't offer much information, "See you soon." Then the line went dead, and after informing her boss of her 'family emergency' she was hailing a cab towards stark towers.
━━Y/n unconsciously tugged at the lanyard around her neck before exiting the elevator of Stark Towers, allowing a moment to briefly survey her surroundings. The hallway was encased by windows— gifting her the seemingly infinite view of New York City, and allowing an almost blinding amount of light to engulf everything. Y/n hadn't always been able to process her surroundings like this. Once the world was just a series of locations in which her targets inhabited, not to be admired or appreciated, but instead analysed and abused to suit her missions objective.
Life was like running on autopilot back then. Now it had some semblance of self awareness that paved way for what could be recognised as living for a reasoning that was intended to be normal for everyone else. Or, at least, close to it.
Her heels collide with the floor as she makes her way towards the meeting room. Tony hadn't told her what this was about, he'd simply stated get your ass over here, y/n , on the phone and left her to wonder what could possibly be the reasoning behind it. Things has been relatively quite when it came to being called in on a mission for team avenger, and the longer than usual period of being dormant from action had began to make her feel anxious. Truthfully, she was glad for another reason to be busy.
The office was already occupied by most of the team when she opened the door— Tony, Nat, Clint, Bruce, Sam and— apparently Steve had managed to get here before her too. They where still waiting on Rhodey and Thor, though sometimes the inconvenience of not being on the same planet kept the latter from attending meetings.
"Oh," Tony's voice was laced in its usual sarcasm, "Nice of you to join us."
Y/n merely rolled her eyes, "Tony, if you call me and I'm twenty minutes away, it's probably going to take me twenty minutes to get here."
"Sounds like a excuse."
"Yeah, well, you can complain when you figure out how to invent teleportation. Until then be at peace with the time it takes me to get here in a car."
Tony gasped, "You know I'm insecure about my inability to invent teleportation."
Y/n scoffed, taking her seat towards the back of the table and next to Nat who offered her a smirk in greeting. She merely had a chance to tuck her chair in when the door opened again, and Rhodey entered with solemn expression that immediately drained any trace of humour from the room.
"Hey," He greeted half heartedly, tiredness seeming to ghost his features. The man picked up the projector remote, switching it on, "An hour ago we got sent security footage of Hydra operatives, and the government wants us in on this."
A paused black and white image displayed on the wall, seeming to depict a rainy alleyway of some city. He gave her a strange, hesitant, look before pressing the remote.
Y/n inhaled sharply as the grainy footage started to play— there was two figures on the screen, wearing black fighting gear and hoods, one slightly shorter than the other, a female and a male. She knew that uniform, and she was also pretty sure she knew the figures that wore them. Her fingers curled around the arm of her chair, not a single inhale of breath entering her lungs as she watched, and in one jolty movement of the footage, there was a brief moment where their faces could be seen.
Rhodey hit pause, but there was no need for it— Y/n already knew who they where from the instance they turned towards the camera. God. They had grown up. She hadn't seen them since they where merely nine years old, but there was nothing left of their child-like features anymore. Granted, they would only be fifteen now, but there was something about hydra that ensured no one remained in the light of innocence for too long.
"Y/n," It was Tony speaking this time, bringing her out of the thoughts she didn't know she'd been trapped in, "Is it them?"
She swallowed, willing her panicked heart beat back to normal, "Yes," She managed, "It's the twins."
"The twins?" Steve interjected, his brows knitted together as he watched her skeptically. Vienna's time at Hydra wasn't a tale she openly shared all the details to, and while Rhodey and Nat where pretty well informed, it was only Sam and Tony who knew the full story.
She steeled herself, attempting to recount her history as if it had no effect on her, "My siblings and I where all apart of the same program— the twins where the youngest, Valencia and Ivan, then me, Violetta, and my oldest brother, Elio. Violetta and I where freed when shield infiltrated the base six years ago, but hydra managed to escape with the rest. There's been traces of them here and there linked to assassinations over the years, but that's the first security footage of the twins we've recovered thus far."
The first time I've seen them in years. She felt like her heart was burning. Like this feeling could suffocate her— threads of relief and dread all coming together in a mess of chaos she'd never be able to sort.
"Where is this?" She nodded at the screen, though her eyes didn't fully land on it this time. Something in her couldn't look anymore, scared of what she'd see if she began to overanalyse it. Overanalyse them.
"Poltava, Ukraine," Rhodey answered, "This footage was two hours ago, there was shield agents based out there on a classified mission we don't have access to yet. All of them where killed."
She knew it would be something along those lines, but that didn't make it any less of a punch to the stomach. They where only children. Children she wasn't able to protect. "Okay," Her voice was small, "What's our move?"
"There's an abandoned hydra base about fifty miles outside of Poltava, no activity there since it was raided in the late sixties, but we have reason to believe it's being used again. It's possible they could be reporting back to it." He explained, a tense look on his features, "We'll fly out on the jet to check it."
A wave of nausea hit her. Y/n wasn't expecting this today— she wasn't ready for this today, but the past six years had been filled with her hoping that some sign of their location would present itself. Her grip on the arm rest tightened, but she gave a nod of approval nevertheless. Rhodey began to talk about strategy, giving a little context on the history of the hydra base, and assigning each of them a role. It was only when another voice interjected that her attention was fully captured again. "Is this a good idea?" Steve questioned, gaze briefly on her before he turned back to Rhodey, "Her coming on a mission that's so personal?"
"Steve—"
"There is no debate here." Y/n said sharply, cutting Sam off. While she'd never dared to send a glare of ice his way before, she was openly giving him one now, "I'm going."
"I'm not trying to undermine you, y/n. If you're distracted then you could make mistakes, and we can't afford that."
"I'm not sitting this one out, Rogers. They're my family."
"That's exactly my point—"
"She's right, Steve," Rhodey cut him off, "If the twins are there, seeing a familiar face could be the leverage we need to get them to back down."
"I just think that we should be careful about this."
Careful. Steve was always careful when it came to y/n. Careful when assigning her tasks. Careful when letting her in on certain information. Careful when trusting her.
Y/n a scoffed, "I'm going to suit up, I'll meet you on the tarmac." She shoved her chair back, sending another look of annoyance to Rogers as he let out a sigh, and exited the meeting room with little hesitation.
━━She tugged up the zipper of her boot, jaw clenching in aggravation. Steve Rogers distrust wasn't anything new— he always doubted her, hesitated when it came to her involvement in missions, and for the most part she didn't let it bother her. After all, she had been Hydra's little puppet for fifteen years, it wasn't like the caution surrounding her wasn't warranted. So why was she so bothered by it this time? Y/n secured the knives in her thigh holster, perhaps giving it too harsh of a tug when adjusting the strap.
"You know you're suppose to leave room for the blood flow."
She let out a sharp gaps, "Jesus, Sam. Dose that suit come with soundlessness."
"No, I think that would have something to do with the angry, little, distracted crease going on between your eyebrows." He gave her a grin, to which she responded with a halfhearted middle finger before giving a dramatic sign and placing herself into a sitting position on the edge of the jet. Sam followed, pushing his red goggles onto his forehead— a move which she was glad for because there was no way in hell she could take him seriously with them on.
She racked a hand though her hair, rubbed her palms against her eyes, before she finally looked at him, "I just want to get them back, Sam."
"I know you do," He said softly, "We all know you do. Steve knows you do."
Y/n swallowed, jaw clenching. She tore her gaze away from him, not willing to display how... she didn't know what it was in her eyes that she wanted to hide, she just knew there was something. "He's just looking out for everyone's safety, y/n, it's not his intention to belittle you."
"It's every mission, Sam," She shook her head, "Every single mission, six years, I have to worry about every little choice I make on the field because one mistake and he'll run with it."
Sam was quite for a moment, "Steve respects you more than you think."
"That's bull, Sam." She scoffed, "If Rogers respected me he wouldn't look for every opportunity to chastise me."
He opened his mouth to say something, but the sound of the doors opening interrupted him. Nat, Tony and Steve entered the tarmac, each of them suited up and talking amongst themselves. She exchanged a look with the man beside her, but as soon as she felt the group grow closer, she got to her feet and made her way towards her seat in the jet.
Link to wattpad version:
#steve rogers x reader#steve rogers imagines#steve x reader#marvel imagine#marvel#tony stark#iron man#angst with a happy ending#angst#fluff#marvel mcu#peter parker#bucky barnes#steve rogers#the winter soldier
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I love this idea of james and faith in the middle of an intense argument and the reader is just like, dad dwayne how do I deal with this shit.
I'm imagining their poly line and it's making me laugh thinking of like, reader falling asleep and James and faith are passive aggressively covering them up with the blanket like 'I think she looks hot' 'WELL she told me shes cold!'
Or like 'here babe, try this cake I made'
'No try my one its better'
*intense glaring*
Marko and paul are watching it with popcorn and Dwayne is just sitting with his daughter (who's probably laughing let's be real) like ah, yes, like father like daughter
Faith and James interactions if they were in a poly line
This would be a bit further on in the future obviously because the two haven’t met yet but you’ve inspired me
James x reader x faith
“Babe I got your coffee” James yelled as he entered the cave, long since caring about his manners with your fathers
You were sat at the table with faith close by as you did her hair into the style she always adored.
“Actually I already got her some” faith said innocently enough to you, but subtly rude to James “perks of living here”
“It’s fine, I need the caffeine tonight” you said as you poured both cups of coffee into a mug before returning to faiths hair.
“Not been sleeping good?” James asked before looking at faith with a smirk “must be hard when you have something clinging to you all night”
“I don’t cling, I cuddle” faith answers back, offended at his choice of words
“No it’s not that I enjoy faith being in the bed with me” you say and faith beams “I’ve just been getting these really bad headaches lately”
“Oh me too” James said before giving a pointed look at faith “mine comes along whenever I hear this god awful high pitched noise”
“Don’t take the lords name in vain” faith demands as she throws a pillow at him which he quickly dodges
“There it is again” James exclaimed dramatically and you rolled your eyes
“So what’s the plan for tonight?” You ask as you gently finishing faiths hair off with a bow which James scoffs at, thinking it’s childish.
“Well I thought I could take you on a bike ride and we could go swimming in the lake like old times” James says as he leans down to peck your lips and sits in the seat that faith left for 3 seconds to look at herself in the mirror
“It’s the middle of September” faith snaps “are you trying to freeze her?”
There’s a moment of tension in which you can make out the giggles of Paul and marko on the couch before faith continued
“I thought we could go to the diner and have something to eat then catch a movie?” Faith says as she walks in front of you, you put your hand on her cheek and she gives your hand a kiss
“Don’t you do that all the time?” James asked rudely and you shot him a playful glare
Faith ignores him as she settles in your lap and then pokes her tongue out at him, how mature.
“We’ll figure it out later” James waves off the conversation “it would just be a waste for nobody to see you in that outfit.
You shoot him a wink and he leans across the table, and across faith to give you a kiss.
“We could always watch a movie” you suggest with a grin at the affection you’re receiving
“That sounds good” faith says as she goes to kiss you but leans back at last second as if she forgot something
Faith reaches into her pocket and grabs a napkin before gently wiping off any trace of James from your lips. She then leans in to give you a deep kiss
“That’s uncalled for” James snarls at faith
Faith then gets up from your lap and gets in James face and the usual arguments commenced.
You got up and went to where Dwayne was sat and sat down next to him as you could still hear the bickering.
“You’ll get used to it” Dwayne said as he pays you knee lovingly.
“My bets on faith” marko said excitedly “she reminds me of a young me when it comes to fights.
“Shut up dad” you groaned out as you closed your eyes in an attempt to block out the mocking.
^ real footage of what happened the one time you all slept in the bed together and they woke up without you there
#slashers x reader#lost boys x child reader#lost boys x reader#poly lost boys x reader#platonic lost boys x reader#yandere lost boys x reader#dad lost boys#yandere lost boys#oc x reader#yandere oc x reader
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do you think carlos is going to tell cecil about the whole "10 years in the desert otherworld" thing any time soon? part of me thinks that the whole what it is plotline is leading up to a big moment for carlos's character, but since the whole time dilation/10 years thing has only been acknowledged in the books (I think) idk if it makes sense to put it in the show
He actually mentioned it in a recent episode 210! (Ten Years Later) - he announced it to the entire town, on air, that he was actually away for 10 years, while for night vale, it was just 1.
the only person who didn't hear it, because he was in the bathroom checking on his cats kittens, was our favorite idiot, cecil palmer. he even says he'll listen back to what Carlos said (which gave me A LOT OF HOPE for the next episode to be one where cecil is passive aggressive or something towards Carlos but.. nothing) but nothing has come of it as of yet
SO I would be really really really really really really happy if that little tidbit of information decided to be shared with Cecil by several different people (my top 3 being Abby, Kevin or lubelle) and id be even more ecstatic if it was woven into the current arc in some way. I think it's only a matter of time before lubelle and her teams discover the old oak door, and the desert other world. it'd be amazing if the thing that trapped Carlos ends up trapping them. or something like that
I also firmly believe that we are going to see some character development in this arc for Carlos - I think its well over due and it wouldn't make a lick of sense for them to not progress his narrative/character in any kind of way. all roads are leading back to him no matter how you look at it
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Jack O' Frost - episode 5
first half of this episode: i am so pissed at Fumiya that I have to keep taking breaks. I'm having a hard time wanting Ritsu to end up with him, his keeping basic facts about Ritsu's life from Ritsu feels like such a massive betrayal of trust that I can't see any way back from it. Certainly if someone did that to me I could not have them be part of my life anymore. In stories I'm often willing to tolerate behavior from characters I wouldn't in my own life, but I think because, as @bengiyo said, Ritsu has already told him (and us!) he hates it when people lie and hide things from him, I can't really imagine a happy ending with them together, no matter how much Fumiya apologizes. I find myself rooting for Ritsu to dump his ass and have a triumphant self-empowered ending, a la The First Wives Club. Or possibily end up back with his ex-boyfriend, but I didn't really feel a spark there, and only ship them out of desperation to keep Ritsu out of Fumiya's hands.
Jack o' Frost saw Old Fashion Cupcake and went: bet. Sure our hand-held long take is only 3 minutes, but we've got nudity and extended making out. Sorry Jo'F, OFC did it better, but that's like trying to beat Simone Biles on floor. It served a very different purpose in the film (memory instead of climatic revelation) and it still was an excellent scene.
The whole birthday flashback did remind me about what Ritsu sees in Fumiya. He's charmingly sweet, and it's understandable that he misses his boyfriend and want him around more, even though he should just COMMUNICATE instead of dropping awkward hints.
And the moment leading up to kiss was really hot. Both actors are very good in the series, and really conveyed the shift from comfortably relaxed to I need you NOW. That tongue lick... the way Fumiya was devouring Ritsu with his eyes... oh my lord 🥵
ok, fun times are over, for them and for us. Fumiya, stop passive-aggressively slamming dishes.
i thought this was another 3 minute long take, but it turns out there was a cut in the middle (perhaps it was supposed to be, but didn't quite work out?) Even so, impressive work from the actors and camera operator. The rising tension in the scene had me on the edge of my seat. I also feel like they choose exactly the right amount of this fight to reveal at the very beginning of the series, just enough for us to get a vague impression of a breakup without actually understanding it yet. It made this 5th episode reveal all the more powerful.
I'm sorry Fumiya, but I'm firmly on Ritsu's side in this one. I'm not saying that Ritsu is perfect; I can understand how his forgetfulness and absorption in his work can be frustrating. And probably if I had only seen this one moment in their relationship I would be more tolerant, but now this is just more evidence of Fumiya's refusal/inability to communicate. He has all these unstated expectations that he's not telling Ritsu, then all of a sudden blows up about them.
Speaking about communication, Fumiya better be telling Ritsu all this and not just remember it in his own damn head.
Ok, phew, apparently he did.
This show is really grappling with how fucked up Fumiya's decision is, which I appreciate. And Ritsu sees things the same way I do, thank god. I really do love him.
I do think the series is quite good. I think I'm not really reacting to it as a BL, actually, which may be why its' been hard for me to figure out what I think of it. There is a wide range of what a BL can be, but this feels a little outside that box. Although it's about their relationship, it really feels like the center of the story is about Fumiya's journey to (hopefully) grow up, and be ready to be in a relationship. It's about learning how to be in a relationship, not about finding love, even though there's an illusion of it being a story about falling in love, since for Ritsu it feels like that. But that's only an illusion, a fantasy world, for both us and for Fumiyo.
It's just really hard for me to see him as capable of being a good partner if he so easily tries to erase Ritsu's agency in their relationship. Like, I sympathize with him being scared, and jumping at a chance for a do-over, but they fact that he actually went through with the lie tells me that he's not really seeing Ritsu as a person, just a paper doll to manipulate into living out his fantasies of domestic bliss.
I wonder how they're going to resolve this in 24 minutes next week. I'm not holding my breath for them giving an ending that satisfies me, although I think I'll consider this a good show regardless. But I will be very impressed if they manage to pull it off. I think for me there will need to be a time skip, and clear evidence of Fumiya really reckoning with how fucked up his mindset was. And Ritsu needs to be the one to approach him again.
Alternatively, I think I would be happy with an ending where they don't get back together, although this show has enough of a romance feel that I don't expect that's the direction it's heading in.
#jack o’ frost#jack o' frost#apparently my computer and my phone use different characters for the apostrophe so now i have two tags for this show#🙄 as if there weren't already enough variations on the title#jack o’ frost ep 5#kind of like liveblogging#gillianthecat reacts to bl#this is a fumiya hate blog now#i mean i do love him dearly. but this is still a place of fumiya hate
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analysing the fuck out of byler rn (this took like 3 hours and also was done on google docs sorry for the random ass punctuation and grammar inconsistencies)
first we are gonna touch on the Byer’s phone line always being used so Mike only gets to call Will sometimes. But from what Dustin said, Mike was complaining about it constantly. We also know that Mike and El spoke through letters and the radio because of the government listening in on phone calls (and El is supposed to be dead). So Mike and Will’s primary way to communicate is via phone calls, but Mike was unable to reach Will most of the time.
Let’s just hammer in this very important piece of the puzzle: Will believes Mike is deeply in love with El.
Will thinks Mike is not calling and ignoring him because he’s more focused on El. He believes Mike just doesn’t care about their friendship anymore. However, because of this, Will also didn’t try calling Mike. This creates distance and tension between the two, but they also are completely unaware of the actual issue at hand...
...thats a mega miscommunication moment. Now it’s also Mike who thinks Will is ignoring him. The difference is, Will doesnt have a significant other to be focused on. Mike just thinks Will is ignoring him or pushing him away (Will mentions “el” (he’s talking about his own actions but under the guise of El) pushing mike away in the van scene. But i’ll talk about this in the van scene part). This makes Mike act passive aggressive. Not only does he ignore Will at Rink o Mania, he picks a fight with him too
When Will says “Oh no” when El is with Angela, Mike immediately stands up beside him. He has no idea that angela is picking on el. The reason he stands up SO QUICKLY is because hes alone with Will and Will said something. Look at mikes face after will says ‘oh no’. Like……… ??????
The rink o mania fight (going to tie this to the van scene)
“You should have told me she was having trouble”
“I didnt know she was lying to you.”
Being a douche and ruining an entire day out apparently entails “rolling your eyes, moping and barely talking”. Not the fact his gf just got publicly harassed and is now unable to be found. Mike is focused on Will, the guy he was “ignoring” all day. He had his attention on Will the entire time instead of El. HE NOTICED HIM ROLL HIS EYES???? BRUH
“Shes being lying to you all day” “i feel like a total third wheel”
“What about us?” Will does not mean this romantically. He thinks Mike is in love with El. He has absolutely zero idea that Mike likes him back.
Mike, however, takes this romantically. We can see it in his face, the soft expression even though they were just fighting.
“We’re friends! We’re friends.”
“We used to be best friends”
Which is true. These two were inseparable
“Maybe you should have reached out more, i dont know. Why is this on me? Why am i the bad guy?” this line hurts because he isn’t the bad guy. He’s having his own issues and he also thought Will was ignoring him out of spite
Now, the first bit tells Will that Mike wanted Will to reach out more, but Will still isnt aware that Mike was trying to call him. A lot.
OKAY mike and el fight now
Mike made her eggos. He sits on her bed (parallels with that byler scene in dear billy).
“So, um, are we just gonna not talk about it?” he says this kinda rudely tbh
Mike doesnt understand why El is lying to him
El says shes different and does not belong
Also this whole fight scene??? Hes so insincere. He doesnt know how to comfort her. He also cant take the blame or admit that he doesnt love her. “I care for you.” Hes not trying to be malicious, hes just stupid
“You dont love me anymore?”
“Who said that I didnt?” YOU DID MICHAEL
“You never say it”
“I say it” NO THE FUCK YOU DONT BRO???
“You’re being ridiculous” no shes not
“You’re the most incredible person in the world” He cant say that she’s a woman. I dont think he ever has
“You cant let these mouthbreathers ruin you, ruin us” im guessing hes talking about the bullies, but… um, they didnt cause any of this. How is that related to being able to tell your gf that you love her. Bruh??? Explain??
“You’re a superhero” she hates that. And he says it again in the monologue. She doesn’t like being called that
Ok on to dear billy
“If you keep staring at that, it’s not going to change”
Mike CRUMPLES the letter and throws it IN THE TRASH. Yeah so…..they arent coming back from that fight. Im pretty sure at this point on, mike fully believes that him and el are over and the next time he sees her, they are going to break up. This is important, as it explains some of mike’s actions and words later on
Will sits next to him. Mike has a gay panic
“Me and el had a bad fight. This one felt adult. Felt more real. Like its a fight you cant come back from (a break up). Maybe i should have said something. Maybe if i had said that thing (i love you), she would want me there with her”
“We’re going to find her, and whatever you didnt say, you can say it to her then”
Mike is still having a gay moment. Bro is mesmerized. Now here comes the flirty part
“Shes going to be ok. Shes not in hawkins, thats what we should be worried about”
“You dont trust owens?”
“That was you guys who saved me. You guys.” AND MIKE LOOKS SO SMUGGGG ARE YOU KIDDING ME!!@?@#!@!&#@ even will’s reaction is sus. They are gay
“Look like its going to be up to us again” hes not looking at will here. I also think hes flirting here too. He looks back once will replies,
“It always is, isnt it?” and then michael has that big ass grin after a little chuckle. Homosexual
In will’s eyes, this is him fixing mike and el’s relationship. He doesnt know the real reason why they were fighting. To him, the words “i love you” are just “something mike didnt say to her during the fight”. Perhaps he just thinks its an apology that mike needs to say
But he didnt fix their relationship, because the issue is much bigger than some random thing Mike didnt say. Because its not a random thing. Hes not in love with her. Will thinks Mike is in love with her, and Mike still thinks him and el are probably going to breakup
NEXT BYLER SCENE!!!!
may i mention and yes ive already said this on tumblr but mike thinks his relationship with el is pretty much over. and then he goes and starts flirting with will… gay!
Mike enters. He closes the door behind him this time. Probably because he starts FLIRTING RIGHT OFF THE BAT
He checks out will and licks his lips like ok
“Thanks, by the way. (“for what?”) For knocking some sense into me, i mean, i was being a total self pitying idiot”
Self-pity: ‘When you feel sorry for yourself, or overly sad about the difficulties you face’. His self-pitying was being ignored by Will and acting like it was the end of the world
“I didnt say it” SLY SMIRK
“You didnt have to” FLIRTING!!!!! WILL BLUSHES AND TURNS AWAY
Then mike is like ‘ok stop flirting go back to what u originally wanted to say’ and he shakes his head and talks in a different tone…
“About the last two days..” the airport scene, ignoring will at rink o mania and fighting with him, and then mike staring at the letter in the last byler scene.
“You dont have to say anything. I was being a total jerk to El, i deserved it”
“No, no, you didnt deserve anything.” mike is saying will didnt deserve to be ignored and yelled at by mike. Mike knows hes in the wrong, but he couldnt admit he was in the wrong when he was fighting with el? okay!
Now Mike has Will’s attention,
“It’s hawkins. It’s not the same without you. And I feel like maybe I was worrying too much about El and.. i dont know, maybe i feel like i lost you or something. Does that make sense?”
In the script, it tells us that it makes total sense to will. He feels the exact same way that Mike does. Mike feels the exact same way that Will does, and we know that Will loves Mike. do u see where im getting at
“I have no idea whats going to happen next” hes either talking about his relationship with El or the actual events occurring (the upside down, reaching el, etc)
Mike and Will lock eyes
Mike is trying to fix what had been damaged since they were separated a year ago. He wants them to work as a team, and be best friends again, since they had been accidently avoiding one another
Ah… episode 5. The on top of the car scene where they are literally talking about confessing to each other. No, they arent actually just talking about argyle and the agent dude not saying the number. Mike is talking about the fight with el again, saying he should have explained himself, and then maybe El would have taken him with her and things would be different, but he didn’t know what to say.
He did know what to say. “I love you”. But he didnt, because he doesnt love her
Then Will starts talking about confessing feelings, “Sometimes I think its just scary to open up like that, to say how you really feel. Especially to the people you care about the most.”
The camera is on Mike now. His expression is soft and hes watching Will intently
“What if they dont like the truth?” Mike looks down and nods. Ah, the truth. And whats the truth? That Mike doesn’t love El. Hes too scared to tell her the truth. Maybe hes too scared to admit the truth to himself, too
Their moment is seized by argyle speaking
Every moment from here to ep 8 isnt any deep or intimate conversations so ill ignore them
AND NOW
THE VAN SCENE. Which is exactly why i rewatched every other scene so i could link them to whats being said. Here goes
Will brings up El and going to Vegas with her to use her powers to win money. He’s also saying it excitedly, which is mentioned in the script. This is when hes being lit with sunlight like a disco ball, and when Mike is looking at him like hes the most beautiful boy hes ever seen
Then Will mentions playing D&D and Nintendo for the rest of their lives. A direct callback to their fight in s3 that hasnt been brought up SINCE it happened. Makes sense for them to finally mention it
But thats why Mike’s mood changes. The motive behind the vibe change is the fight being brought up. Will thinks it's because he was being childish and made it awkward, and he also thinks it's because of El (which is why he starts talking about her again, but more on that in a bit).
Will believes Mike loves El. Mike and Will’s fight was because of Mike spending too much time with El and ignoring Will and the rest of the party (because Mike was trying to get rid of his gay thoughts). Mike is the one who brings up playing games together for the rest of their lives. And then Will, always having loved Mike, says “Yeah. I guess I did.” ouch
Will isnt going to think Mike is upset because of the garage fight. But of course Mike is upset about it, because Mike is gay too. Mike regrets the fight. he regretted it WHEN the fight happened!!
So will brings up el again because he must be upset about el, right?
“We’re gonna make it, mike. Shes going to be okay”
[nervously] “Yeah, i know. I know she is.” He wasn’t worrying about El being in trouble, which is what will thinks the issue is
[contemplatively] “but what if after all this is over, she doesn’t need me anymore?”
We’ve been over this before.
Will is always trying to fix his and El’s relationship. Why would they break up if they are both in love? In jonathan’s bedroom, he tried fixing their relationship: “Whatever you didnt say then, you can say after we save her.” but its not that easy, because Mike literally cannot say “i love you”, and he definitely can’t say it in a genuine way, either
So yes. They have been over this before, and will can’t seem to understand why Mike needs to keep talking about it because ‘isnt it just something you want to say to her?’
Mike’s rant is pretty just him saying that him and el are going to breakup because they didn’t meet because of ‘fate’ or ‘destiny’ and theres no greater reason for them to stay together or be in love. No higher power has told them to be in love. Hes just some nerd that got lucky that superman came to his aid when he lost Will.
his rant, at its core, is mike trying to convince will that him and el arent working out, and that mike might not love her anymore, or maybe never did. he wants will to agree with him, but he doesn't, because will thinks mike loves el. hes not going to try and sabotage their relationship because he respects them both
also mike is sus af for regarding himself as lois lane (a woman) and his GIRLFRIEND as superman (A MAN)
Will doesn’t get what Mike is saying. He doesn’t understand what the issue is because he wouldn't think Mike doesn't love El. i mean, mike hasn't actually shown any disinterest in El to other characters. we only know hes queer because we see private moments between el and mike and how not in love he acts and how IN LOVE he acts with will. mike is TRYING to admit he doesn't love el but will misunderstands completely
Mike sees Will’s reaction and immediately apologises
Then we have “You’re scared of losing her.” i think we should all know by now that its MIKE who was talking about losing will in the dear billy scene. And ive always thought that in this part, when will said that, mike wasn’t thinking of el. He was thinking of will. The way they are looking at each other here… why would they both react like that when will is talking about mike’s girlfriend? Perhaps its because MIKE ISNT THINKING ABOUT EL
They lock eyes. A BEAT; then: Mike nods
he’s scared of losing Will. but he goes along with what will is saying, because hes too scared to actually continue with the confession he was originally going to make. He wasnt expecting will to say that, was he? He must have had more to say, but then will changed the subject
When Will lies about the painting, not only is it the first time he ever lies to mike, but it creates that miscommunication again. They dont understand what the other is saying
(Will tries to get what Mike is saying) and (Now its Mike who doesn’t get it)
These ones are the killers. We know exactly what Will is talking about during his confession. He’s confessing his feelings under the guise of El. Mike doesn’t get that Will is talking about himself!
But if Will didnt get what mike was trying to say then mike wasn't actually "scared of losing her", bringing me back to my point about his rant: He was trying to admit he didn’t love El and he was under the impression that he was going to inevitably break up with her. They aren’t meant for each other, they aren’t fate or destiny.
Mike doesn’t get it, though. He really does believe Will is talking about El’s feelings. I mean, that is what will was trying to do, anyway; fix mike and el’s relationship. but mike is in love with will, and mike feels the exact same way that will does (Mike also feels different, hes been ostracized and bullied, he’s scared of losing will), so it makes sense that Will's speech gives Mike the desire to try and salvage his relationship with El. Mike doesnt fully comprehend his falling out of love with El, obviously. His attempt to fix everything with a shitty monologue backfires when it fails miserably. His monologue wasnt genuine because he doesnt love her. Will gave Mike his feelings, not El’s. and mike and will are soulmates , so yes, hes going to think that the relationship advice is going to solve everything, and will even brought up points mike didnt think about! and now hes like damn ok will doesn't like me and maybe i could make it work with el
ok now im just ranting sorry
ive also forgot to touch on something i mentioned before so ill add it now. in the coded confession, will says "if she was mean to you, or she seemed like she was pushing you away-". im sure its obvious but el HASNT been pushing mike away. mike may have picked up on this and thought 'wait, something is off' because he kinda did have that expression?? but alas his thoughts were Stolen so idk. but mike felt like will was pushing him away, did he not? they both felt like the other was pushing away and creating distance. that's why mike regarded himself as a "self-pitying idiot" because he was feeling sorry for himself because will was ignoring him. so yes, its possible mike picked up on this, because el wasn't pushing mike away, but mike thought will was pushing him away. not sure if that means anything but i wanted to bring it up
anyway. here are my final points
Will fully believes Mike loves El
Mike thinks he's just some nerd that got lucky that superman came to his aid when he lost Will
Mike is scared of losing Will
They both feel the exact same way toward each other
Mike didn’t get that Will wasn’t talking about El during his coded confession
Will didn’t get that Mike wasn’t talking about losing El during his weird, coded rant
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13- Ground rules
Completed, 27 chapters, “She’s an angel” Rodrick Heffley x black fem reader
After Rodrick pitched the idea of being friends with benefits, you took a week to really think about it. Which, in all honesty, you didn't need. You knew your answer, but didn't want to tell him yet. Not wanting to seem too eager. You laugh at the thought, it was funny considering the way you acted the last time the two of you were alone.
But besides that, you still knew you and Rodrick couldn't just jump right into sleeping with each other. Especially considering the fact that neither of you had actually slept with anyone. You'd read enough books and seen enough movies and tv shows to know that there were rules to being friends with benefits.
No sleeping with other people
2. No romance
3. Don't let the benefits ruin the friendship
The first and third rule were easy to follow, but the second one was definitely going to be a weak point for you. It's not like you wanted to date Rodrick or wanted him to be over the top with the romance. But no intimacy and strictly sex seemed miserable. Plus, it wasn't like a little intimacy would lead to anything.
“Last week was really fun.” You told Rodrick, sitting across from him at his family's dinner table.
He opens his mouth to speak, but stops himself. He leans close to you and narrows his eyes.
“Like Last week.” He said finger, quoting the two words. “Or last week.” Dropping the quotes.
“Both?”
You pause, unsure of your answer. Copying his movements, you lean closer to him.
“But actually, I wanted to talk about what you said last week.” Your fingers quoted the last two words to tell him what you were referring to.
He nods his head slowly in acknowledgment. Not fully remembering what he said, but knowing it definitely wasn't the kind of thing he'd say to anyone who wasn't you. On that note, the two of you headed upstairs to have a private discussion. You carrying your homework while Rodrick carried both of your bags. Mostly because he wasn't doing his homework.
“Where are you guys going?” Susan asked, standing at the bottom of the stairs.
“Upstairs.” You tell her casually.
“Rodrick, I thought we were doing our homework downstairs.” She speaks directly to him in a tone you could tell was passive-aggressive.
“We were.” His tone matches hers. “But y/n wants to go upstairs, so we're going upstairs.” He spoke hostile.
You stood against the railing silently. Trying to not get caught in what you were sure was going to become an argument. Normally you would have just agreed with Susan and stay downstairs, but Rodrick wasn't that obedient. In fact, he was the complete opposite. Out of the corner of your eye you saw Frank, you weren't sure when he had entered the conversation, but hopefully he was here to defuse the situation before it became a situation.
“Well y/n what do you want to do upstairs ?” Susan ask, turning her attention to you, voice softer than when speaking to Rodrick.
You froze for a moment, but finally forced out a word.
“M-movie.”
Behind you, Rodrick laughs, but not at your stammering or nervousness.
“Great.” Frank claps and smiles, overly cheerful. “You can just watch the movie downstairs.”
He looks back and forth between Susan and Rodrick, the fake smile fading as he realizes he hadn't changed anything.
“Okay.” You say, quickly grabbing Rodrick's hand and dragging him into the living room. His parents giving each other cautious looks as you walked away.
In the living room, you tried to act calm while Rodrick searched through actual movies. Asking you every two to three movies if you were interested in watching it. Too focused on the conversation that just unfolded in front of you. You just nod and give him the simple answer, “It's up to you.”.
*Why wouldn't she want me upstairs?* You thought to yourself.
To be completely honest, you couldn't think of anything Susan or Frank knew that would make you seem untrustworthy. You were completely out of the loop on something that was definitely about you.
“Why doesn't your mom want us to go upstairs?” You whispered to Rodrick.
“It's that she doesn't want us upstairs, but she just doesn't trust us alone upstairs.” He clarified.
“WHY NOT.” You spoke louder, but still kept whispering.
“Calm down y/n, it's not like we did anything bad.” He assured you. “Just don't worry about it, but what did you want to talk about upstairs anyway?”
“Nothing, I just wanted to talk about us being, ya know.”
“Us?” He questioned, “Us being what?”
“Us being what you said last week.”
He gives you a blank stare as he tries to recall. Rolling your eyes, you pulled out your phone and sent him a text, not wanting to say it aloud.
𝙵𝚠𝚋 -𝚢/𝚗
The blank stares instantly turned confused.
𝚠𝚝𝚏 𝚒𝚜 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 -𝚛
𝙵𝚛𝚒𝚎𝚗𝚍𝚜 𝚠𝚒𝚝𝚑 𝚋𝚎𝚗𝚎𝚏𝚒𝚝𝚜, 𝚋𝚊𝚜𝚒𝚌𝚊𝚕𝚕𝚢 𝚠𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚠𝚎'𝚛𝚎 𝚊𝚕𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚢 𝚍𝚘𝚒𝚗𝚐 -𝚢/𝚗
“Ohhh.” Rodrick said beside you before texting it to you.
𝙾𝚑𝚑𝚑 -𝚛
“When do we start?” Rodrick asked with an eager smirk taken over his face.
“We can't just start.”
“Why not?” He asked genuinely.
“Because we need like rules to follow, so we don't ruin what we already have.” You told him honestly.
“Trust me, y/n us sleeping together won't ruin anything.” He reassures you. “Honestly, I think it'll make us better friends.”
“Really.” You said, skeptical by how casual Rodrick was about the idea.
“Yea, it'll like build a better bond between us. Not like any of your other friends have seen you naked.” He whispered in your ear using a sensible voice in an attempt to persuade you.
Highly aware that Susan and Frank may have been watching you push Rodrick away. He laughs at your reaction and returns to searching for a movie.
“So what's the rules?”
You stay silent, unsure if Rodrick was being serious. But after a moment with no smart remark or mischievous little smirk, you spoke and told him the rules.
“That's it.” He says plainly.
“Well yea basically.”
“Alright, so when do we start?”
“Now I guess.”
Next chapter ;)
All chapters :)
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Carrion Comfort
Episode thoughts dropping 2 days late because I was too busy having Emotions™️ and rewatching the episode? More likely than you'd think 💖🤣
I've said this before, and I'll say it again, I am really, really loving the episode cases, and the vibes that come along with them. This episode especially was so creepy! Everyone say thank you, Jensen Ackles 🥂
The car scene.
The way Beau was looking at Jenny before asking her if she's okay says so much 🥺 He's so worried 😭 I can't wait for him to realize he's fallen for her 💕
Right after the walkthrough of the crime scene.
I love how Beau's clearly been working to help make the whole department run smoothly, make everyone feel useful and appreciated, he's such a good boss ✊🏻
Precinct scene.
Cassie Dewell, aka, the only Cass I know 😊 And she wouldn't leave her friends for dead because they didn't return her feelings 💛
I want to see Beau's 10 year old photo for the department website (and I want someone to acknowledge that it doesn't look 10 years older, because he looks the same) 💖
Cassie watching Beau and Jenny flirt and bicker like a married couple, like 👀😏 She ships it 💫 Love a supportive best friend, who just wants her two friends to have happiness and love in their lives 🥺
"Is that a werewolf? That's a first for me." Bestie- 🥺💖 Jensen bringing Dean with him everywhere he goes, and I'm on the floor in my feels, sobbing 😌💟
Ugh, Carla.
Carla divorced Beau which means that he's not obligated to tell her anything or practice his "communication skills" with her 🙄 The entitlement is real. Truly canNOT stand this woman, she's so mean and passive aggressive and dismissive towards Beau, as well as condescending and rude towards Jenny 😒 She really came in and insulted both my favourite people in the span of one and a half minute, oh, and yeah, remember when she broke Beau's whole heart? And continues to make him feel small and sad? Yeah, to say I don't like her is an understatement.
Jenny defending Beau against Carla was such a nice moment, and just another reason she's the best, and why her and Beau are the perfect match. She actually cares about him, respects and understands him. Next time Carla is being rude and mean, I hope she doesn't care about being polite and wipes the floor with Carla. Would also love to see her about to punch her, and then Beau holds her back, because he can't have his undersheriff getting charged and we get another unintentionally intimate moment, before he cheekily thanks her for defending his honour 💅🏻💖
Here's to hoping something dramatic happens before Emily comes to stay with Beau, to prevent it, I can't stomach even the thought of putting up with her insulting and dismissing Beau for a whole episode 😣😒 And him spending the whole episode looking heartbroken and sad and on the verge of tears 😭
Big Sky, Season 2, Episode 18, Catch a Few Fish
Jenny: and lemme guess, you're still in love with her
Beau: 😐😶
Big Sky, Deadly Trails, Season 3, Episode 4, Carrion Comfort
Jenny: you're still in love with her
Beau: No, I'm not. No. Stop it.
And I, for one, believe him. Especially since I'm still trying to understand what he saw in her in the first place. She's so mean!
Also, Jenny once again trying to gauge Beau's feelings for someone else by teasing him? Just for fun, no reason whatsoever? Just out of curiosity? 👀 Mm-mm, she wants to know if her heart will be safe with him if she lets herself fully fall (because deep down she's already fallen, all that's left to do is admit it) 😌
Glamping Shenanigans.
Full offense, but I'd much rather watch more about Luke and Paige and their past (criminal?) activities, than Emily whining and sticking her nose where it doesn't belong every episode. Paige and Luke aren't likable at all, but they ARE interesting. Emily is annoying AND boring. And she keeps getting exponentially more obnoxious every episode.
Cassie and Cormac.
They are my, er, second "one" true pairing (after Jenny/Beau, of course). I really wasn't expecting to ship someone with Cassie this soon after Lindor after they broke up right after getting together after a one and a half season long burn, but I am rooting for these two for sure 👌🏻
Donno and Tonya.
Am I finding myself shipping Tonya and Donno or......? I mean, I could definitely be okay with them just being friends and partners, but...... I don't know, it could be tipped over to romance very easily 👀
Sunny and Walt.
Wow, Walt really had me feeling bad for a minute there, I was like, damn, he did kill Mark, but maybe he didn't mean to......? But nah, this man is full-on Menace in the Woods 😱🔪 And I would not be surprised if Sunny and Walt became a full on killing team, they're both so unhinged! 💯
The Cutter House. Part I.
Beau patting Jenny on the shoulder entering the house had no tactical reason, so I just love that they're such a team, so concerned for each other, that he did it to reassure her he's there, he's okay, he's got her back 🥺💕
The Cutter House. Part II, aka, The Scene™️.
Them fighting the killer, Beau and Jenny are so badass and such a perfect team 💅🏻
Beau fighting to protect himself versus Beau after the creep attacked Jenny, he was much more intense during the latter, I love the increased intensity and drive. He really said no one touches my girl 😡 and I love that 💖💕💫
Every time she thinks Beau got hurt, Jenny gets so worried, everything else loses focus. She rushed to him, completely forgetting the suspect, and if that's not love... 💕 and how gentle she is checking his wound, touching it so gingerly 🥺 True loveism 💝💖
It's so perfect how in sync they are, Beau knew he could count on Jenny to know why he'd turned her around, and Jenny trusted him and instinctually knew why, she realized exactly what he was doing. And him, physically having her back, holding her steady 🥺💝 Plus, the way it ended with them holding on to each other 💯 They're so sexy for that 🔥💕
There's also a moment where it looks like Beau might've been reaching for Jenny's hand, so maybe one of the takes had them shooting together and I'd love to see that outtake, though I do love how it actually played out, with complete trust and them in sync 🥺
I also love how they just stay in this position just a minute longer than necessary, letting themselves be support for the other, letting themselves take comfort from the other, just breathing together for a moment 🥺💟
Also, is it just me or did Jenny just absolutely melt back into Beau once they both knew the danger was averted? 🥺💖 I love the trust they have. And the 💫 tension 💫
And this moment when they're both still breathless, and Beau feels the intimacy of the situation and Jenny just leans back into him, when he's finally looking at her, I think he's realizing he's fallen for her, irrevocably 🥺💕
I just, I love this scene a lot. And I really love that the scene is so warm and wholesome with their trust and teamwork, but also really hot and has a lot of tension! It's everything to me, and I just love how it was written and played so well, such a perfect balance of emotional vulnerability and display of feelings, and physical tension 🥺💖
The Hospital Scene.
Jenny reassuring Beau about how good of a dad he is 🥺 He deserves to be around people who appreciate and respect him so much 💛
The more episodes go by without Beau calling her "Jenny" and only "Hoyt", even though he called her Jenny during the premiere, the more I become convinced that he's already in love, but denying it to himself (until he just can't 👀). Although, he didn't call her Hoyt after the fight scene, might that be more evidence my man's catching on to how he feels about Jenny.....? 🥺👀
Beau, my beloved.
Beau really is the whole package. Kind, funny, handsome, caring & THIS good at his job? His instincts about the murder not being random were right, and when he was looking at the photos, his gut knew it was important, even when he didn't have all the pieces to know why 🏆💯🥰❤
He used to build houses in the summers? And knows about antiques? I love a multitalented and multifaceted king 🥺 I want to hear more about his backstory, his parents/siblings, his hobbies, what he likes to do in his free time. Just, more about him in general. I truly do love him with my whole heart 💖
"Wow, Beau was extra handsome and charming this episode 🥰❤" <- me after literally every single episode 🤣
#Beau Arlen#Jensen Ackles#Jenny Hoyt#Katheryn Winnick#Beau Arlen x Jenny Hoyt#Big Sky#Big Sky: Deadly Trails#Big Sky State of Mind
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i luv that all ur iterations have different ways theyre possessive + jealous. my fav is tomuras entitlement about whats his is his. i canon him exactly like ur flawless tomura being sweet and less manipulative but still super controlling and jealous. like reader fucking another man before him, oof. do you think his reaction would be worse or similar to touya-nii finding out his reader isnt a virgin?
anon i love u!!! YES hehehe omg like the thing about flawless tomura’s manipulation is that it is extremely subtle, to the point where he doesn’t even realize he’s consciously doing it, it’s just who he IS—he’s used to getting everything he wants the moment he wants it, he’s used to being in power and in control, he’s used to owning his things and never sharing (like you said, what’s his is HIS! no ifs, ands, or buts about it!)—this is how he’s been raised, this is how he’s always been, expectant and entitled, so in his mind it’s like how could he even be manipulative? how could he be manipulative without even knowing? you’re crazy, this is just who he is.
oooh anon i love this question SO much!!! answering it under the cut because it was getting long hehe <3
his reaction would be worse, 100%. touya-nii is upset and angry, sure, but he gets over it easily enough the moment he realizes that 1. now he doesn’t have to wait any longer and 2. he can still be quite a few of her firsts. he also loves the challenge that comes along with that, the challenge and prospect to prove himself, to prove that he’s the best she’s ever had and the best she will ever have.
tomura, on the other hand, would not find any comfort or pacification in these facts. what the fuck do you mean, someone’s been inside you before he has? what the fuck do you mean, someone’s already touched, tainted, his favourite toy, his most prized possession!?
he fucking hates thinking about it. just the thought of someone else’s grubby hands on his precious baby has his vision bleeding crimson and his breath barreling up his throat in sharp, short huffs and jade claws of envy ripping at his chest. he doesn’t want to talk about it at all—what’s done is done, and there’s nothing he can do to reverse it, no matter how badly he wishes there were—but he will sulk and be passive aggressive for a while after he finds out (tells you nothing’s wrong, he’s fine, but shifts away from your touch the moment you try to reach out to him).
the best way to bring him out of this state if he gets there is to point out that he isn’t a virgin, either; that he gave it up to someone who merely and purely used him instead of to you, someone who loves him, someone who would actually cherish it, someone who deserved such a special thing (tomura’s experiences with tnii!reader will be touched upon in part two!!! (*/ω＼*)) so much more than that girl did. this makes him feel the slightest tingle of guilt—you’re right, that isn’t fair, either—and while he’s still upset over the fact that he wasn’t your first, he’ll calm down quite a bit and stop being such a fucking brat about it. but he doesn’t ever want to talk about or hear about it again.
the second best way is to just never discuss it in the first place. if tomura has any sort of inkling that you’re not a virgin, he most likely will not ask for the details, and would rather just stay ignorant towards it and pretend it never happened and that he’s your first and only (again, he hates the mere thought, so he isn’t going to think about it at all). thus, as long as you don’t bring it up, he definitely won’t, and you can avoid his sulky mood! <3
#flawless tomu is suchhhhh a lil brat <333#like i love that kurogiri picks his clothes out for him#he wants to be Daddy and in some ways he IS Daddy—but it comes from a place of wanting control instead of caregiving#it comes from a place of entitlement and wanting to OWN#bmb tomu & touya nii have these characteristics as well#but they ALSO genuinely find self satisfaction in TAKING CARE of their readers#with flawless tomu it’s more ‘i’m daddy BECAUSE i own you’ lmao#anyway!!! anon thank you for ur question!! <33#i hope you’re doing wonderful <3 enjoy ur weekend and stay safe + hydrated!#flawless universe#flawless au#inky.bb#clari gets mail
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