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scottishaccentsareawesome · 17 days

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"...He doesn't know that you're an idiot! Once he gets to know you and KNOW that you're an idiot, he'll love you...!" "What if he say no?" "Then HE'S an idiot."

- Buck and Eddie, ("911", 7x05)

#I just love this quote so much #it's such BFF talk #but it's also Buddie so there's the underlying 'He'll love you!...LIKE DO' <3 #funny quotes #best friend quotes #quotes about dating #bi buck #bi evan buckley #bucktommy #buddie #911 spoilers #911 on abc #911 #tv quotes #quotes about queer dating #evan buckley #eddie diaz #tommy kinard

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doyoueverstopandthink · 2 years

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umbrella academy as things my friends and i have said (part 7):

luther:

“what day of the week was sunday?”

diego:

“i have a note of what i want for a birthday present so i can write down ideas throughout the year. it just says ‘legos’ on it and i don’t think i’ve touched it since i was 14.”

allison:

“just because i said ‘fuck you’ for having a reese’s doesn’t mean you get to call me a dumb bitch for calling my ex”

klaus:

“anyways i’m in so much pain here’s a funny video!”

five:

“autumn? you mean autism?”

ben:

“so klaus has just been vibing this weekend and i was wondering where he was at. boston. he’s in boston. he has somewhere he has to be in exactly twenty-six minutes and he’s in fucking boston.”

viktor:

“tchaikovsky is gonna be the death of me. i can’t believe it. the gay man. is gonna be the one that takes me out. i can’t believe this.”

lila:

“you gotta use your thinker to get a good thunk”

stan:

“i just said that ‘saturday’ in spanish is ‘marrón’”

#so the ones from luther diego klaus ben viktor and stan are from me #i'd like to think i'm funny but i think being top of my class for so long just made me dumb as shit lmao #'this is me trying' by taylor swift sorta vibes <3 #the ones from allison and lila are from my roommate #and the one from five is from a friend who forgot that fall is also called autumn #luther hargreeves #diego hargreeves #allison hargreeves #klaus hargreeves #five hargreeves #ben hargreeves #viktor hargreeves #lila pitts #stan tua #tua #the umbrella academy #umbrella academy #umbrella academy incorrect quotes

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flowercrowngods · 6 months

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cw suicide mention & imagery

original play idea where people seem to live their normal lives but the audience gets the feeling that something’s wrong, there’s a tension and there are things that obviously go unsaid that hang in the air between the characters uncomfortably long enough until the last member of the audience has filled in the blanks in their own way.

there is a figure off to the side, a very young man in a suit, watching them, unmoving and silent, and as the scenes and progress, as characters leave and appear, as the setting changes, the young man is always there. no one interacts with him, but there are moments when they almost do. when the characters stop what they’re doing when they stand close to him, and appear to listen. but there’s nothing.

the sound of TV news reports, all playing over each other, create an uncanny and uncomfortable buzzing that never, never stops, and there are too many to really make out the words. they get more silent the closer they get to the young man in the suit, quieting down to nothing when they stand by him to listen — but the characters seem unaware of the change. so does the young man, statuesque though he is.

then there’s a little girl, covered in dirt, her hair askew, her cheeks rosy — the image of having spent the day outside, playing in the dirt, a smile on her face, her eyes big, as she skips towards the young man and asks, “can we go now? can we play?”

the young man cards his hands through her hair and says, “you go ahead, i’ll be right there.”

but still he stays there, seated.

everything continues as before, but the characters slowly undergo a complete change in character, in routine, in appearance. the old man who wore suits is not dressed in sweats and old, worn out, dirty shirts. the sweet, kindhearted young adult is now quiet and apathetic. the woman who, in the beginning, was talking her friend’s ear off and could barely stand still is unmoving now, staring out into nothingness.

the buzzing and bustling background noise is slowly, gradually getting louder as the characters become increasingly nonverbal and unmoving. the lights dim down.

then all at once, after a crescendo, the noise stops suddenly, the lights turn off completely, before, with warm, yellow light, a woman we’ve seen before — as she stares into nothingness — appears on the stage, slowly approaching the young man as if unsure of her body but undeniable in her grace.

they smile at each other for a moment.

m, whispering: you’re not supposed to be here, not yet

w, cradling his cheeks: i was always supposed to be here long, long before you

m: i know. i’m sorry, i—

w: i know. i forgive you. i’ve always forgiven you

m, after a while: but not yourself

the woman shakes her head.

w: a mother will never forgive herself for burying her child, and a father will forgive himself even less. (a beat) you have such a handsome face.

m: it’s not your fault

w: so beautiful, those eyes, i’ve missed you so much

m: listen to me, it’s not your fault!

w: and your hair! papa would be so glad to know that—

m: mother. mama. listen to me. it’s not your fault

w, tearful and whispering: you were supposed to be fine. you were always supposed to be fine. it was never supposed to be this bad, we were supposed to help, but—

m: i know. i tried, i really did. both times

in that moment, the little girl comes skipping on stage again, approaching them with her wagging ponytail.

g: what are you doing here, mama? will you play with me now? it’s been so long!

the woman gasps, her tears getting the better of her as she falls to her knees and pulls the girl to her chest, who readily returns the hug

w, sobbing, kissing her cheek: hi, baby. yes, i’ll play with you, of course i will. let’s go.

the young man helps his mother up, allowing her to pull him into a hug, and she whispers: “as much as i love her with all my heart, i’m so proud of the young man you’ve grown into. and now i have you both, just as i always did.”

the young man brushes a kiss to her cheek, then lets her go, watching as his mother disappears with the little girl.

m: i have to stay a while. i’ll follow you soon.

(woman and girl, hand in hand, exeunt)

the lights dim, and the buzzing returns, accompanied by the sound of dragging footsteps the audience cannot see, until everything’s back in total darkness. the noise stays. growing louder in increments, leaving the audience uncomfortable and unsure if this was it.

as they quiet down, we hear a man, sobbing uncontrollably, before eerie silence takes his place, too.

the curtain falls.

#idk what this is but it’s deeply fucked up suicide awareness #obviously there are no dialogues except for that one half assed thing but the dialogues and the imagery and the stage setup and directions #will allude to the fact that the young man who killed himself remains uncomfortably in the lives and the minds of those who miss him #and he cannot leave because he chose this. he’s anchored to them more than he was when he was alive #maybe he’ll have a soliloquy or two. or maybe the empathetic character will speak for him in ways that we do when people die #in the ways that we put words in their mouth and turn them into people they might not have been because grief is funny like that #the static buzzing news caster noise is obviously 1) the 21st c at large; 2) grief preventing you from feeling calm; and 3) doom news #there will be quotes like ‘your death it won’t happen to you. it happens to your family and your friends’#yes the young man is trans. no that’s not why he killed himself. yes the mother takes the blame bc that’s what mothers will do #it’s all just fucked up what can i say. there are no redeeming qualities #suidice cw #cw suicide #it’s 2am i have nothing to say in my defense #i was overcome with the urge to write a play and the ideas for it sorry #not st

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newwavebeastie · 7 months

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GRRRR I LOVE BEING NEURODIVERGENT

#art #faith the unholy trinity #faith game #john ward #GRRRRR #oh my god.#to quote my friend #you can say unholy things about a holy man its alright #THEYRE SO FUNNY #eek i. really like him :3 #i REALLY like him #the things id let him do to me are not approved by the vatican #again #SORRY #doodles #not my best art

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mamawasatesttube · 1 year

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“When you laugh like that, it just — you’re so beautiful, you know that?” for the ficlet prompt pls !! love your writing so so much ❤️

Tim is a very serious guy, busy doing very serious work.

"—still don't know why anyone would write this! Actually, who the fuck paid them to write this?! Is this the state of journalism in today's world?" Bart flails a hand at his laptop screen, laughing so hard he's turning red. "Someone—someone got paid to write—to write this?! This is a self-help article?!"

"I just don't—why would you—" Kon stares at the screen, too, fingers steepled and pressed to his lips in deep consternation. "I can't even finish my dramatic reading! Why would—why would—who even wants to phone a friend in the middle of doing an enema?"

Tim is a very serious guy, busy doing very serious work, by which he means playing Minesweeper while listening to his very un-serious friends read a how-to guide on, for some reason, coffee enemas. It happens. He really did mean to get work done, but sitting in the common room was a mistake; he's just been listening and swallowing laughter for the past ten minutes.

"I can promise you this. If any of you ever phone me with anything up your ass, we are not friends anymore," Cassie says, sounding disturbed.

That does it. Tim's finger slips and clicks a bomb instead of a safe tile as he wheezes with sudden, explosive laughter.

All three of them whip around to look at him; Bart is the first to crack into giggles, too, then Kon smothers a chuckle into his hands, and finally Cassie slumps back onto the cushions behind her, cackling. Tim really, truly does try to get ahold of himself, but it's a losing battle at this point.

"Where did you even find this article, Bart?" he manages, grinning breathlessly. "Send me the link." It sounds like a great way to harass Dick, and Tim needs to do that yesterday.

"Why?" Bart shoots back immediately. "Feeling inspired?"

"You better not call me when you try it out," Cassie wheezes.

Kon, meanwhile...

Oh. Wait. What's up with Kon? He's still grinning, but it's a softer look than before; his eyes sparkle with warmth as he looks at Tim, perching in the bay window. That's a very, ah... fond? Yes, fond. A very fond look for someone whose companions are currently losing their shit about a self-help article about coffee enemas.

Tim meets his gaze and quirks an eyebrow. Kon blinks at him, seeming surprised; did he think Tim wouldn't notice him gazing over like that?

"Sorry, sorry," Kon says, though he certainly doesn't sound particularly sorry. “When you laugh like that, it just—man, you’re so beautiful, you know that?”

Tim's face immediately flames. That's rich, coming from the most beautiful guy in not just the room, but the entire city. Country. World? Yeah, world. "Uh."

"Oh my god, shut the fuck up, you're so sappy!" Bart groans, smacking Kon on the shoulder. Kon, because he's Kon, just preens at his complaints. "Stop being a cheese before I kick your ass!"

"Be careful that it doesn't have coffee in it!" Cassie snickers into her hands.

Normally, Tim would join in on the ribbing. Right now, though, he's still a little stuck on Kon just casually calling him beautiful for laughing. What the fuck. They've been officially dating for two weeks! He can't just spring that kind of thing on Tim! And the worst (best) part is, because he's Kon, Tim knows he's being completely genuine about it!

Why did this have to happen during this, of all conversations?

"Now, Bart," Kon says, and aggressively ruffles Bart's hair. "You know Tim is the only one here with the rights to touch my ass, kicking or not."

Bart blows an obnoxiously loud raspberry. Tim drops his face into his hands.

Yeah, he's a serious guy, alright. Real serious about... starting a new game of Minesweeper and listening to his friends continue to be a bunch of comedians.

♥ soft sentence starters ♥

#writing short ficlets rather than longer stuff with room to breathe and trying to be funny without feeling like it's ooc/crack #is Insanely hard for me actually! PHEW that was a challenge (but in a good way!) (at least i hope it came out good LOL)#anyway this article is real and does exist my friends and i read it together once #''if you ever call me with something up your ass we aren't friends anymore'' is a direct quote from duck <3 #timkon #tim #kon #core four #bart #cassie #huilannie #rimi writes

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wordsaladsenpai · 9 days

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** IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT **

THE ADMIN OF THIS ACCOUNT WOULD LIKE TO LET YOU KNOW THE FOLLOWING THINGS:

- hehehehe I farted

- I didn’t actually fart

- and if I had a fandom name for this blog I would call all my little followers : SALAD FORKS (respectively) - SPORKS (if you want to shorten it)

- SPORKS : can also mean salad forks, spoon fork, soup fork, and special fork. (All forks are special.)

- this is actually a game of two truths and a lie

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beautyofattolia · 1 year

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Enid: Tyler, that outfit looks great!

Tyler: Oh…thanks?

Enid: You know where it would look better?

Tyler: Um –

Enid: On Wednesday’s floor!

Wednesday:

Tyler:

Wednesday: Are you hitting on Tyler for me?

#Enid: well someone's got to get this ball rolling!#wednesday #wednesday neflix #enid sinclair #tyler galpin #wednesday addams #tyler x wednesday #wyler #weyler #funny #my post #incorrect quotes #this seems like something she would 100% do #Enid is the best wingman #Tyler is dying and Wednesday is just exasperated #I think Enid and Tyler would be bros #the best friend and the boyfriend #like season 3 or something #after Wednesday and Tyler's enemies to lovers arc in season 2

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stevesbanana · 1 year

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Stranger Things Incorrect Quotes:

Y/n: “I made you this friendship bracelet Billy.”

Billy: “I’m not really a bracelet guy.”

Y/n: “Oh it’s fine you don’t ha-“

Billy: “No I’m gonna wear it forever shut up.”

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p2ii · 3 months

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#0ne piece fans talk about zoro (and Luffy's tbh)'s intelligence and hygiene in a way that doesn't sound borderline ableist challenge #(failed) (impossible) (fuck you +'justification I don't care about' + 'sbs quote I don't care about' etcetc)#it's not even ABOUT HIM atp. just the way y'all talk abt that shit in a vacuum makes me so uncomfortable sometimes #like this is Tumblr entry level shit. lacking academic skills dosnt make you stupid and blanket judgement of poor hygiene (again. not talki #about mosshead specifically. I don't CARE about his workout routine) is a dick move???#like y'all remember real people struggle w that shit for actual reasons right?#also I feel there's a level where the directionally challenged jokes just stop being funny #ppl have 5 jokes abt zoro: he's racist (be so fucking FR) he's directionally challenged. he's dumb. he dosnt bathe #and yet ppl are mad when s@nji haters refuse to see the nuance of sanji's character over his CANONICAL sex offender joke #like one of these is alot more justifiable imo #not that people like considering zoro's character on a deeper level anyway #just the same 3 jokes with a 'devoted to luffy' thrown in ever once in a while if Ur lucky #zoro fans may be 'annoying' and I can't talk on the front of dudebro's cause idk #but like. we're right I think. and also the only ones not so fucking mean to him all the time?#silly bullying between friends and actually not understanding his character or being weird abt his 'flaws' or whatever are completely #different things #also the z/s traitors... sorry but unless it's ooc this ship exists for s@nji

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blue-eli · 2 years

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Ink October day twelve: Vindicator

One who vindicates; one who justifies, or maintains, or defends.

#riddle rosehearts #twisted wonderland #twst fanart #twst riddle #disney twst #blue boi draws #ink October 2022 #ink October 2022 day 12 #shout about to Epel my friend Epel for getting me into twst<3 #first completely non-kh related art of ink October 2022 btw!#twst does not have the same hold on me as kh but I do still enjoy it a lot. I actually cried during Riddle’s flashback.#to quote myself from the discord ‘Him<3 my traumatised little meow meow<3’#also love his design it is A PAIN to draw… so much detail…#kinda funny that he’s my favourite (so far) overblot victim considering Alice Through The Looking Glass is my favourite book

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nygleskas · 5 months

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me vs watching a hbo show about rich siblings trying to take over their fathers business and instantly falling in love with the shunned family member who's just a silly little guy who also tries to commit blackmail whos name starts with a G

#.txt #i knowww i've made a post like this b4 but i can't find it rn bc the search function sUCKS so i'm reposting.#i can never compare my f/os enough i think its so funny how they're kindasorta similar #WAIT THEY ALSO HAVE A UNHEALTHY RELATIONSHIP WITH A COWORKER/FRIEND (SCOTTY/TOM) HELP #ineed to make some gideon gifs There's like 4 out there in the world . also hi amber :3 #also i think i immediately loved gideon by the 2nd ep (he's like. properly introduced) and i literally started scn bc i saw a greg fancam #on twitter and qrtd it saying And i quote “idk who this bitch is but hes my boyfriend now” and i started it the next day #bc i couldn't get that fancam out of my head wKSNH #I LOOKED UP THE TWEET AND MY IMMEDIATE REPLY WAS “HE'S LIKE IF SHANE M.AD/EJ + DA/VI/D DA/STM/ALC/HI/AN WAS HOT” WJGSLHNJS????#AND ALSO “He's 6'6 i'm thinking” byeeee #sorry for being annoying in tags again im stopping

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angelsdean · 1 year

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whomst is the j*2 in my askbox sending me links to tweets abt them dsjkfdsk ur so funny but i suggest you stop wasting ur own time bc i simply do not care<3 i will continue to laugh tho and then delete ur asks

#they sent me a quote from yesterdays panel where jensen says something abt j*red being a great guy even tho he enjoyed playing soulless sam #and the person was like:#'he never says things like that abt misha only insults misha and makes him a joke' like.....um. i think u need to watch some cockles panels #j*2s are always so funny w/ their wack perceptions #also sarcasm is a thing. do u know how many times i've ''insulted'' and made fun of friends in a bantery good-natured way ?#when ur good friends w/ someone u can tease them to hell and back and it's totally fine bc they know ur not serious<3 #vic.txt

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hecksupremechips · 1 year

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In 4th grade on the last day of school my teacher made us pass around a "compliment sheet" where everyone had to say something nice about you on your paper and initial it and when I got mine back all of the "compliments" I received were just my classmates saying objective facts about me like "you have brown hair" or "you are tall" and yeah I think that just sums up my life right there

#the klock keeps ticking #like they just had nothing nice to say to me I guess #the worst part is that i made sure to actually compliment everyone even though most of them were really mean to me #i would say they were funny or had nice hair like thats pretty basic ground to cover when in doubt #but nah they couldnt even do that lol #some of the things they said werent even true they were like ‘you like math’#i never said that bitch how is this a compliment #also this girl i had a crush on and was good friends with wrote and i quote ‘you seem nice’#we had been friends for 3 years at that point 😭#i had this paper in my possession for a long time while im here in my hometown i should look for it

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molciber · 2 years

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"he's lucky, he has more of a head adhd, mines more of a body. He's more of a sativa and I'm indica"

#my friend #lolol #sativa #indica #weed #weedhumor #adhd #funny #<3 #quote #love #jokes #humor #analogy

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hestia-fluer · 3 months

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